#(I’ve been thinking about making this post for months now)
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The Most Perfect Christmas Ever
JJ Maybank X Routledge Reader
Imagine on fandom instagram?: No
Prompt or Request or Requested Prompt?: Yes: (1) "Cute Christmas socks." (2) "Are you going to stay out there in the cold all night?" (3) "Come here. I bet you can fit in my coat with me and it’ll warm you up." (4) "Is that my scarf?" (5) "Be careful you’re clumsy and it’s really slippery out here." (6) "Ah. The ground is so slippy.!” (7) "Call me elf one more time!" (8) "Chaos has come again." (9) "Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone." (10) "Come here. I bet you can fit in my coat with me and it’ll warm you up." (11) "Everything I want I can’t have." (12) "Here. Let me pick you up so you can reach the top of the Christmas tree." (13) "How long ago did (Character) fall asleep?" (14) "I believe the Abominable Snowman may be real. I think there may be something in that." (15) "I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold."
Style of Writing: Single Fic
Rating: PG ~ For all the fluff and cuteness, but a few adult comments…
Edited: Not edited so it may change around later guys.
Word count: 6,717
Post Date & Time: December 25th 2024 at 1:45 AM
Ko-fi
Masterlist
Warnings Here
Listen to the story be read out loud here {coming soon}.
Summary: You, your brother John B and JJ (Jackson Jessy "Maybank" Groff) spend another Christmas together, your first Christmas without your father after he’d gone missing. This Christmas however is different than all the others that the three of you have spent together.
Authors Note: I got these amazing prompts from a fellow writers page @bonniebird Bonnie is an inspiration to me as well as an amazing writer and artist. I did change some of them up so they fit the story better, but I did try to keep them pretty close to the original prompts. Anyway, Bonnie’s work never fails to make me smile and feel all the feelings that I should when reading. I WISH I could write as amazingly as she does, but I’m nowhere near her level yet, I hope and pray that one day I will be. Ladies and gentlemen please go give her love and support because she really deserves it. She’s one of my many inspirations and I’m so so happy to use her prompts because they really pushed me to write this fic even though I was blocked for all of my other works. I feel like it helped me break out of it, so THANK YOU Bonnie for everything 🩵🩵🩵
Also this is our first JJ Maybank fic. We have so much coming out for JJ he will eventually be added into our main people we write for so be on the look out for when we add that in. We both hope you guys enjoy this one. 🩵
You hum softly to yourself along with the Christmas music you have playing as you lay out the decorations. Every Christmas, you, John B, your dad, and JJ would enjoy Christmas together. When you were growing up and found out what JJ’s dad did to him (you didn’t tell them of course, because that’s JJ’s place to tell people about it), you begged for JJ to start spending the holidays with you. Ever since that very first time they agreed, he’s always come over. It’s always been your absolute favorite time of year. How could it not be? When you have JJ and John B around you, your two favorite people? This year is different though, because it’s the first Christmas without your father since he had disappeared only a few months ago now.
“Hey. Wow. You’ve really got everything ready,” John B comments in shock as he looks at everything you’ve laid out so far.
“It’s Christmas, JB, of course I’ve got everything ready. Don’t I always?” You ask, raising an eyebrow at him and shrugging.
“I can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve and we’re only now decorating…” you shake your head and he chuckles.
“I know normally you have it all started the last week of November,” he comments, amusement clear in his tone.
“I know right! I’m so behind. This year has been a lot… it’s been one stressful year…” you mutter out with a roll of your eyes and he again hums in amusement as you bite your lip.
“Hey. I get it. It definitely has been wild,” John B agrees and you sigh.
“It’s just… it’s the first one without dad. We should still celebrate, be happy to still all be together right?” You ask, unsure of your own words.
“Of course, bug. I’m sure we’ll enjoy it,” he tells you as he stops you for a moment to pull you into a hug.
“Plus, I’ll have my two favorite guys with me. I’m happy and I refuse to not be happy during my favorite time of year,” you push away from the hug as you ramble while continuing to lay stuff out, not bothering to spare a look at your brother.
“Hey. I get it. I do. No need to preach it to me, bug,” he reverently tells you, giving you a small shrug.
You continue to lay ornaments and many other decorations out on the table. You step back to look at your handiwork, proud of how it looks. You get pulled out of your thoughts when your brother laughs, making you look at him instead.
“What?” You ask him, eyebrow propped and he points down at your feet.
"Cute Christmas socks," he tells you though chuckles and you look down at them, pushing up onto your toes.
“Oh, really? Good, I got both you and JJ a pair of your own,” you inform him with a giant grin and his face falls.
“There’s no way JJ will be wearing those…” he tells you and you giggle.
“Who says! They’re cute!” You cry out and he chuckles, shaking his head.
“Sorry to tell ya, bee, JJ doesn’t do cute,” he tells you with humor lacing his tone.
“Fine. You’ll wear them though, right?” You ask, giving him puppy dog eyes.
“Not a chance. Puppy eyes don’t work on me anymore, bee,” he tells you and you smirk even though he’s not looking at you.
“Really? Then why won’t you look at me, huh?” You teasingly ask and he huffs.
“No reason. No reason at all. Speaking of your two favorite people, where's the other?” John B asks with a hint of humor, changing the subject as he picks up an ornament to look at before carefully setting it back down.
“Actually, he was supposed to be here about thirty minutes ago…” you comment as you finally look up at the clock.
“Don’t worry, bug. It’s JJ, I’m sure he’s just running late,” John B tries to comfort you, but you shake your head, rushing over to start putting your jacket on.
“Exactly. It’s JJ. He’s never late this time of year. He loves having Christmas with us,” you comment as you shove your feet into your shoes.
“Bug? What are you doing?” John B rushes over to you and you shrug as you stand while zipping up your jacket.
“I’m going to look for him. What if he needs us?” You counter as you wrap a scarf around your neck and John B sighs.
“I’m coming with you then,” he informs you as he grabs his own jacket.
You give him a look of exasperation before shaking your head once more. You pull the door open before starting down the porch, but John B pulls you to a stop. You go to yell at him, but he raises his hands in surrender before pointing over at something and you turn to look where he's pointing. You see JJ sitting curled up on the dock and you sigh in relief.
“You go talk to him. I’ll finish setting up, okay?” John B offers and you smile softly at him.
“Don’t you wanna go over?” You ask, popping an eyebrow at him and he pauses with lips pursed in thought.
“No. It looks more like a you and him moment,” John B answers with a small soft smile.
“Okay. If you’re sure, birdy,” you tell him, giving a side eye to see if he changes his mind.
When he doesn’t show any signs of changing his mind, you firmly nod at him before starting to walk over to JJ as John B heads back inside. It’s a cold night so you bring your cupped hands up to your mouth and breathe into them, hoping to warm yourself up a little. Once your hands have warmed up, you move them under your armpits, trying to keep them that way as you move closer and closer to JJ.
“Jayj…” you call out softly and you can see your breath in the air.
“Hi, cupcake…” he mutters, not looking at you which makes you frown.
“Wanna tell me what’s wrong?” You ask as you sit next to him, your feet dangling over the side of the dock.
“JJ, talk to me…” you mutter out when he doesn’t answer and you move to cuddle into his side, but he uses his shoulder to shove you off, still keeping his face out of view.
“JJ. Seriously, what is wrong?” You ask as you grab his shoulder, trying to pull him to look at you even though you have an opinion on what’s going on.
“Just leave me alone cupcake. Please?” He practically begs, still turned away from you and you frown even harder.
“Jayj, please…” you whisper out to him once again and he sighs, finally turning to you not liking the hurt sound of your voice.
“Oh, JJ…” you gasp when you see his face full of black and blue bruises, you had a thought that’s it be about his dad, but you had no clue it’d be this bad.
“See, that’s why…” he mutters, looking away from you once more.
“I don’t want you pitying me again… you do it far too often,” he mutters after you haven’t said anything.
“I don’t pity you, JJ. If anything I think it makes you incredibly strong…” you tell him with a firmness to your tone and he feels himself getting choked up.
“Yeah… whatever…” he responds, not believing you as he shoves you off again.
“I’m really sorry, JJ…” you mutter softly, not knowing what else to say to get him to believe you. You frown with a shake of your head as tears well up in your eyes.
“What do you have to be sorry for? You didn’t do this…” JJ asks as he still refuses to look at you and you reach out for him again.
“I’m sorry you have to go through this. I’m sorry you got dealt such a bad hand in life. I wish… I wish I could force Luke to see you. To actually see you,” you explain as you're finally able to pull him to look at you. He wishes he could wipe your frown off but only smiles softly at you.
“It’s not so bad. I’ve got you and John B. It could be worse I guess,” he tells you with a shrug as he looks away again and out to the water.
“I mean, you are right. Having us is pretty awesome,” you agree playfully, bouncing your eyebrows and he chuckles to himself, shaking his head. You smile, seeing his tough exterior finally starting to break down.
“It really is,” he softly agrees as he still looks out over the water and you hold back a sigh.
“Well, are you going to stay out here in the cold all night and stew in what happened? Or are you going to come in and have fun with your favorite person?” You goad him while nudging him with your shoulder.
“Oh, John B’s my favorite person now, huh?” he playfully asks, his own lips forming a bit bigger of a smirk now and you gasp.
“Umm, no. I was actually talking about myself,” you respond with a deadpan look that makes him smile even more as he laughs, shaking his head.
“What makes you think you’re my favorite person?” he asks you, all smiles now and you can’t help but smile alongside him.
“It made you smile, didn’t it?” You answer him with a shrug and he’s shaking his head in disbelief again.
“Yeah… yeah. It did,” he chuckles, continuing to smile softly at you.
"Well come on, then, let's get inside. We have a tree to decorate still and many other Christmas festivities,” you tell him with a beaming smile as you go to get up, but he reaches out and stops you.
“Can we maybe just stay here for a moment more?” he mutters out and you blink at him for a moment.
“Yeah, of course, Jayj…” you softly tell him and he smiles a small smile at you.
The two of you sit in silence for a little while before JJ, who's not wearing a coat, starts to shake a little bit."Come here. I bet you can fit in my coat with me and it’ll warm you up," You tell him as you hold your coat open to him.
“Thanks, cupcake,” he mutters as he slides in under your arm and you smile warmly at him.
“Of course, Jayj. It’s us against the world,” you whisper to him as you bring your pinky up and he smiles again before bringing his up as well, wrapping it around yours.
“Us against the world, cupcake,” he agrees and you sigh, laying your head against his that now lays on your shoulder.
“Hey, is this my scarf?” he asks after a while of silence as he lifts one of the sides of the scarf up.
“Umm. Yeah, I think it’s the one you left here last year. I found it in my winter clothes. You can have it back if you want,” you answer with your cheeks burning hot and you try to hide your face.
“Nah. Keep it. It’s a better fit on you than me,” he tells you softly and again you can’t help but blush.
He says nothing else after that, just cuddles back into your shoulder and you squeeze his shoulder. The two of you stay sitting there, cuddling while looking out over the water in silence and just enjoying each other’s presence.
“Hey, tweedledee and tweedledum, are you two going to stay out there all night and make me decorate alone? Or are you going to come be of some help?”John B calls out for the two of you from the edge of the dock and you both roll your eyes.
“Well, you ready to go in?” You ask him and he smiles at you before nodding.
“Yeah, let’s go,” he agrees before pulling away and the two of you start to stand.
"Be careful cupcake, you’re clumsy and it’s really slippery out here,” JJ tells you as he stands up and you cross your arms.
“I’m not that clumsy!” You fight back and he hums in amusement.
“Okay. I’ll believe that when you're not tripping over thin air,” he jokes back with a smirk and you scowl at him.
“Whatever…” you tell him as you roll your eyes before turning and taking a step to head back to the house.
You let out a small gasp as you start to fall back, but JJ, knowing you well, was already reacting and quickly pulling you back up. You stare at him in shock for a moment before you slowly start to smile, making him smile too.
"You were right. The ground really is so slippery,” You joke, eyes wide in shock and he playfully rolls his eyes at you.
“Never change, cupcake. You’re truly one of a kind,” JJ tells you with a grin that’s utterly infectious.
“Only if you promise never to change yourself, Jayj. You’re one of a kind too,” you request and he nods in agreement.
You both stare at one another for a moment, your eyes staring into the blue pools that are his eyes that you’ve come to love so much over the years and you have a burning need to kiss him. You can feel his heart going what seems to be a mile a minute as he watches your eyes flicker down to his lips and back up to his eyes, his eyes doing the same. He squeezes your waist gently with a million thoughts of how your lips might taste flying though his mind and he wishes he could just kiss the adorable frown off your face, but he knows he can’t, making him frown too. You frown even deeper before opening your mouth to ask him why he’s frowning, but before you get the chance, you get cut off.
“Hey! Would you two stop making eyes at each other and come help me decorate!” John B calls out again, interrupting the moment and you almost groan.
“Thanks for catching me, Jayj,” you whisper out and something flashes through his eyes for a moment, an emotion you can’t quite decipher before he grins again letting you go.
“I’ll always catch you, cupcake,” he promises with a light smile before the two of you start to walk over to John B.
You slip a little bit once more, but you reach out and grab onto JJ’s arm. He looks down at you and chuckles as you cling to him like a koala bear, making him chuckle.
“Don’t worry. I’ll get you to the end of the dock safely,” he promises with a laugh as he laces his fingers through yours and continues to walk over to John B.
"Chaos has come again, man!” JJ announces as you and he walk into the château before he’s letting go of you to walk over to John B.
“Don’t think that’s a good thing man,” John B deadpans and you fight to hold back a giggle as JJ pulls back from the guy hug the share looking offended.
“Fine then, I take it back. You’re definitely not my favorite person. It’s cupcake,” JJ says as he pulls you into him from behind.
“Oh so now I’m your favorite,” you ask, crossing your arms and giving a faux annoyed look.
“Let’s be completely honest bee, I think you always have been even when he lies outta his butt and says you aren't,” John B comments with a roll of his eyes as he picks up an ornament and hangs it on the tree.
“It’s disgusting sometimes really,” John B continues with a fake gag as he hangs the ornament up on the tree.
“Ohh. I wanna do the Angel!” You happily call out clapping your hands and John B chuckles.
“Don’t you always do it? This year’s no different, Bee. It’s your one job,” John B comments in amusement making you pout.
“It’s not my only job! I have others,” you fight back and JJ chuckles, slinging his arm around your shoulder.
“Yeah, JB her other jobs lookin pretty,” JJ comments as he hugs you into his side and you fight a blush as you groan pushing him away.
“I extremely dislike both of you,” you comment, crossing your arms with a look of dismay falling on your face and they both grin.
“That’s not true. You LOVE us,” both of them singsong to you and you uncross your arms shaking your head.
“Okay maybe I do, but let’s get this show on the road,” you finally cave and agree with them before walking over to start decorating the tree some more.
“Okay miss head elf,” JJ jokes with a roll of his eyes and John B laughs.
“Oh that’s a good one Jayj. She really is a snappy head elf this time of year isn’t she?” John B agrees before pushing the joke a little further and you pause crossing your arms.
"Call me elf one more time!" You seeth out through clenched teeth and they share a look.
“Awe come on elffie. It’s a cute Christmas nickname that’s all. Plus you're the perfect height for it,” JJ tells you again, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as he squeezes you affectionately and you huff, shaking your head.
“Yeah, yeah. Come on, let’s get decorating already…” you tell them in annoyance and JJ snickers along with John B.
Together you, JJ and John B all dance around and decorate making you completely forget about everything that’s been going on the past few months. For a moment it’s just you and your two favorite people living happily with nothing and nobody to take it away from you. You’d give anything to live every single day like this. You walk away still laughing at something JJ had said and walk back in with the scissors. You stop and fondly watch as John B and JJ fight over who gets to put an ornament on a certain branch. Blue Christmas by Elvis starts to play and without realizing it you start to cry.
“You okay there cupcake?” JJ asks as he turns around to see you crying and worry flows through him.
“I’m okay Jayj…” you tell him softly with a gentle smile on your face as you set the scissors on the table.
“Then why the tears?” John B asks and you giggle wiping at your eyes.
“I just wish we could all live like this everyday. Just us three having the times of our lives with nothing to worry about,” you start pausing to catch your breath a little bit and to sniffle.
“Both Kie and Pope have their parents. I’m happy to just have you two,” you explain more tears welling up in your eyes and JJ clicks his tongue coming over to give you a hug.
“I’m happy we have each other too, Bee, but unfortunately we can’t have it everyday. There’s always going to be good and bad days,” John B agrees with you as he to comes over to hug you.
“I know, I just wish it could be that way,” you sigh out and JJ squeezes you once more.
“I think we all do, cupcake. Let’s just try to live in this moment then yeah? Enjoy the time we have?” He asks and you grin up at him.
“Yeah, okay,” you agree and he smiles happy to see you back to your happy go lucky self.
You gasp as the song’s lyrics perfectly fit the moment. “But I’ll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas without you,” you sing along to Elvis as you sway and JJ shakes his head, but smiles as he watches you enjoy the music.
“Perfect timing, much?” He jokes propping an eyebrow making both you and John B burst out laughing.
“Yeah… definitely don’t quit your day job bug,” John B jokes and you shrug seemingly unfazed by his playful insult.
“And what day job would that be birdy? Hunting for gold?” You playfully ask back, sticking your tongue out at him.
“Okay. Okay… you win,” he chuckles, holding his hands up in surrender.
“I always win,” you say in a devious tone with an equally devious look.
“Don’t I always win, Jay?” You ask, turning to JJ who looks between you and John B in a panic for a moment.
“Sorry JB. I have to say she is definitely a winner in my book,” JJ tells both of you and you let out a cheer pumping your fist in the air.
“Eat it birdy!” You cheer out as you do a little dance.
“So not fair! JJ’s only on your side because he’s crushing hard. Let’s bring Sarah in as a tie breaker,” John B complains and you pause your dance crossing your arms as you prop an eyebrow at him.
“How would that break the tie? One. Sarah, so would choose me too and second that’d only make it tied even more even if she did choose you,” you comment very pointedly and he shrugs sticking his tongue out.
“At least it’d be more fair. Again, JJ only chose you because he’s crushing on you,” John B again points out and you shake your head.
“And Sarah is so crushing on you,” you point out and JJ lets out an “ooooohhh” making you laugh.
“She got you there JB,” JJ comments with a smirk that’s infectiously making you smirk too.
“Okay birdy, you win. I take it as a compliment that my favorite person is crushing on me though,” you happily reply, leaving a kiss on JJ’s cheek and he blushes before awkwardly clearing his throat.
“Okay. Okay. Enough fighting you two. I think it’s time to put the angel up right?” JJ cuts in only wanting to change the whole subject as he holds the Angel up for you to take from him.
“Yeah, okay.” You agree as you take the Angel from him.
You look down at the Angel in your hands, the angel you and your mom had picked out together when you were five. You don’t remember much of her, John B does because he’d been a little older (he’d been seven) when she left, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt when you think about how she’d just left the three of you behind. John B and your dad had told you so much about her that sometimes she felt like a phantom to you, like someone that was there for a second, someone you knew so well, then gone the very next. Tears well up in your eyes and you look up at John B. He immediately knows what you’re thinking and lets out a sigh, sad for you as always, he always felt sad you couldn’t fully remember her like he could.
“I know, bug. I miss mom too,” John B sympathizes with you and you wipe under your eyes as JJ squeezes your shoulder.
“I just wish I’d gotten to actually know her a little more,” you mutter and JJ pulls you into a hug knowing that’s the only sure way to comfort you.
“Here, cupcake. Let me pick you up so you can reach the top of the Christmas tree.” JJ tells you after pulling away from the hug and he bends down before slipping his head between your legs lifting you as he stands.
“You better not drop me Jayj!” You squeak out before giggling hysterically as you’re now sitting on his shoulders one hand in his hair the other holding the angel and he stands straight.
“I would NEVER dream of it cupcake,” he sweetly tells you as he holds you a little tighter to make it known he definitely won’t drop you.
You grin as you put the Angel on the tree before looking down to see JJ looking up at you. You then nod at him and he bends to let you down slowly. Once you have both feet on the ground he stands up straight next to you. You smile at him before suddenly you're letting out a gasp pushing JJ away just the slightest but in your excitement.
“What? What’s wrong?” JJ asks immediate worry, taking over as he looks at John B for help, but John B just shrugs just as confused.
“It’s If Everyday Was Like Christmas my favorite Elvis Christmas song,” you happily explain and JJ lets out a sigh of relief shaking his head.
“We should have known,” John B playfully rolls his eyes
“Oh we really should have dude. She is an old soul,” JJ agrees and he chuckles as you start to sway again just as you had with Blue Christmas and JJ shakes his head again too as you hold a hand out for him.
“What?” JJ asks with an arched eyebrow and you grin making his heart melt at seeing you so happy.
"I want to dance with you. Come on. Dance with me Jayj,” you beg, holding your hand out to him more insistently.
“Okay, but you should know I’m not a good slow dancer sweetheart,” he informs you as he takes your hand in his and you smile as you help him get into position.
“It’s okay J. Just sway with me. We don’t have to be all that fancy, we’re Pogues, remember? Not kooks,” you remind and he throws his head back laughing before calming as he sways with you.
“P4L. Never a kook,” JJ happily agrees, proud that you feel the same way he does.
You lay your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes and his leans against yours. He looks at John B for a moment over your shoulder who seems to be watching the two of you fondly. John B then surprises him by putting his hands up in surrender before leaving the room and JJ melts against you a little more.
When If Everyday Was Like Christmas ends both of you slowly come to a stop and you lift your head from his shoulder to look at him. You smile softly at him and again there’s a moment where you lock eyes. His bright brilliant blue eyes shining with happiness and another emotion that makes you think you might just kiss, but just like all the other moments over the years where you’d been close John B walks back into the room.
“And what’s going on here?” John B asks ever the overprotective brother that he is and you roll your eyes.
“Nothing birdy. Are we watching die hard or not?” You ask changing the subject as you push away from JJ and he fights not to frown at the missing feeling of your body heat.
“Not. I thought we could open a gift or two,” John B tells you and you arch an eyebrow at him.
“I thought we all agreed on no gifts this year?” You ask and John B shrugs.
"I’d be down. I know we said no presents this year but I wanted to get you both something special to show you how much I appreciate you, so I uhh did…" JJ admits with a shrug in agreement and John B grins shrugging along with JJ.
“My gifts really aren't much. Just one to open tonight and tomorrow for each of us. All have super special meaning that’s all,” John B informs you and you grin shaking your head.
“Well I really can’t say much. I did the same thing,” you admit with a giggle when they both give you a shocked look.
“Bee! It was your idea!” John B cries out and you smile sheepishly.
“Oppps,” you shrug feigning innocence, shrugging "Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone else right?” You ask with a lopsided grin and John B lets out a chortle shaking his head almost in disbelief.
“I mean she’s not wrong dude,” JJ happily chirps out and you smirk, bouncing your eyebrows.
“I’m never wrong Jayj,” you joke with him poking his side and he playfully scoffs.
“Okay. Yeah, whatever you want to believe cupcake,” he humors you as he rubs at the spot you’d poked him in.
After opening gifts you’d all decided to watch the movie so you cuddle up next to JJ and John B decides to sit in the chair off to the side. As the movie plays JJ lays behind you his strong arm wrapped around your waist like normal and anytime he laughs you feel the warm air from his mouth over your neck making goosebumps rise on your arms. You fight the whole movie not to fall even more in love with him and the way he holds you, but just like any other time the two of you cuddle you do.
“Well, I’m beat. I’m going to bed,” John B announces as he slaps his hands down on the arms of the chair and pushes himself up.
“Goodnight JB,” you call out as he walks toward his room and he turns around.
“Goodnight bumblebee. Sleep tight,” he replies with a soft smile your way.
“So cupcake, you heading to bed too?” JJ asks and you look up at him.
“I’m not really tired. I might go lay in the hammock for a little while,” you inform him and he nods letting go of your waist.
“You could come join me if you want, but you definitely don’t have to,” you tell him biting at your lip, nervous he might say no and he chuckles.
“And skip out on our special hammock time?” He asks like he is offended and he smiles when you perk up.
“Really?” You ask in excitement and he smiles even more.
“Really cupcake. I love our hammock time. Let’s go,” he promises softly as he pushes up off the couch and grabs the blanket the two of you always use.
He then turns to you and looks down at you sitting up before reaching a hand out to you. You smile almost shyly as you slip your hand into his and he pulls you up from the couch. He wraps his arm around your shoulders and together you walk out of the château. You both walk down the stairs and over to the hammocks.
“After you princess,” JJ tells you as he bows like a butler would and you giggle shaking your head.
“Why thank you. You're a very kind Prince, you know that?” You ask him as he lays down with you now and he holds his arm up for you to cuddle up to his side.
“Well it’s easy to be kind to a princess like you,” he tells you and you roll your eyes at his flirty ness as he uses his other hand to put the blanket over the two of you.
You giggle as he struggles to lay the blanket out evenly over the two of you and you reach out to grab the other side, pulling it over yourself. He chuckles softly, shaking his head before finally relaxing and he squeezes you softly as the two of you look up to watch the very prominent stars in the sky.
“Can I tell you a secret cupcake?” He whispers out to you after a few minutes as he uses his fingers to rub your arm.
“Of course Jayj… you can tell me anything. You know that,” you promise as you cuddle into his side even more.
"I believe the Abominable Snowman may be real... I think there may be something in that." He whispers and you slowly grin, turning to smile up at him.
“You might actually be right… I mean who’s to say he’s not real?” You ask and he chuckles, shaking his head loving the fact that you just agree with him.
“I think I may have everything I want right here right now,” you whisper out as you cuddle back down into him with a hum of contentment.
"Everything I want I can’t have." He admits and you frown pushing up to look at him again.
“What do you mean? You don’t have everything you want? What else could you want?” You ask with a frown, sad that he could possibly not be as happy as you thought he was.
He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment before letting them open once more. His blue eyes stare into yours and you almost lose yourself in them.
“You,” he whispers almost nervously and you’ve never seen JJ at his nervous before as you raise an eyebrow at him.
“Jayj. You have me. I’m not sure why you think you don’t,” you tell him in confusion and he huffs in anger, but not in anger at you, no he’d never be angry at you, but he is angry you're not getting it.
“No princess. You don’t get it… I want us to be… uggh,” he groans out reaching up to rub at his chest and your eyebrow furrows even more as you reach up moving his hand before rubbing his chest for him.
“Jay. Just calm down and tell me. It’s okay… you want us to be…” you prompt him to continue on as he seems to calm a little more.
“Okay… uhh… I want us to be more than friends and I know Pogues don’t Mack on Pogues, but I’ve wanted to be so much more with you for years…” he admits hesitation clear as he once again for the second time in the night refuses to look at you and you smile.
“Jayj… look at me please…” you whisper out and hit takes him a moment, but soon he’s doing it.
"It was always you, through everything it was always you Jayj. Nobody else,” you whisper again with a grin growing on your face as you watch him slowly realize exactly what you’d said.
“Wait… really? But wait… what?” He asks in confusion and you giggle.
"I'd always choose you Jayj.” You softly promise and nuzzle into his chest bashfully and he chuckles bringing his hand up to your head to massage at your scalp.
“I’d always choose you too Princess,” JJ promises just as softly as he leaves a kiss to your forehead.
“You missed…” you tell him with a confident grin as you sit up to look at him and he chuckles again shaking his head.
“Oh my bad. Let’s see if I can fix my mistake then,” he jokes right back with his own smile growing.
Before you know it his hand trails from your hair and to your neck, lightly pulling you to him while tilting your head ever so slightly. He moves slowly and treats you so gently making the butterflies erupt even more in your stomach. There’s a thick anticipation that falls over you with how slowly you move closer together, but it’s the kind of anticipation you really don’t want to end. Finally his lips meet yours in a firm yet delicate and maybe a little desperate kiss. You are a little surprised thinking it would have been a little more heated with knowing how JJ is, but the delicacy of which he kisses you proves to you just how much he’s wanted this.
He worries if he makes it anymore heated like he normally does with other girls he’d ruin this whole moment and he really doesn’t want to lose you. You're the most important girl outta all the ones he’s ever been with so if he messes it up he’s scared he might lose you all together. You take a leap and kiss him a little harder, surprising him for the smallest of moments, but he smirks into the kiss before reciprocating it even more. You smile into the now heated kiss as you reach up and wrap your arms around his neck and play with the hair at the nip of his neck making him groan. You then maneuver a little more so now instead of laying side by side you lay on top of him and he squeezes your waist after his hands move from your neck.
Slowly you pull away breaking the kiss almost unwillingly and he chases your lips giving them another peck making you giggle. He then leans his forehead against yours and you grin wide as both of your heavy breaths mingle together.
“Wow…” you whisper, biting your lip and he grins at you.
“Definitely wow. I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time,” he admits and you grin as you use your thumb to trace his lips.
“I know it may be early, but I love you Jayj. You’re my favorite Christmas gift,” you tell him as you scoot down and lay your head on his chest.
“It’s not early at all, princess. I think we’ve loved each other for a while now. We’ve just been too scared to tell each other,” he tells you as he kisses your head and pulls you even closer then before.
“Oh and you're my favorite gift too sweet girl. I love you,” JJ adds on and you sigh happily.
“Merry Christmas Jayj…” you mutter out as tiredness takes over your body.
“Merry Christmas cupcake,” JJ parrots you again, squeezing you a little closer.
It’s a little while later and JJ smiles when he realizes you’re breathing has evened out meaning you’re happily asleep in his arms. He yawns, but refuses to fall asleep quite yet, just wanting to enjoy having what he thought he never could.
"How long ago did, bug fall asleep?" He hears a whisper making him look up at John B.
“Only a little while ago. She’ll probably sleep in a lot more than the last few years. I thought you went to bed?” JJ whispers not wanting to wake you as you sleep soundly on his chest.
“I did, but I knew you two would come out here and I wanted to check up on the two of you to make sure you're all good before I actually fall asleep,” John B whispers back and JJ smiles a thankful smile at him.
“Thanks man. We’re good,” JJ tells him and John B nods pausing to watch your sleeping face.
“You take care of her, you hear me JJ. You break her and best friends or not I will break you,” John B says in a serious whisper and JJ’s eyes widen for a moment.
“Don’t worry dude. I don’t plan to and if it ever does happen I’d break myself before you even hit the chance,” JJ whispers honestly and John B smiles at his best friend.
“I know, but now that the two of you got wise and got together I still need to make it known. I’m her big brother first and foremost,” John B informs him with a shrug and a happy smile at seeing his sister happy as well as safe and sound in his best friend's arms.
“Goodnight JJ. Sleep well buddy,” John B tells him before turning and starting back to the château.
“Night man. You sleep well too,” JJ tells him in a happy whisper as he nuzzled into your hair.
John B knows without a doubt that JJ is good for his little sister and you are for JJ too. He’s so happy the two of you have finally confessed and made it official. He’s had to watch the two of you pine for one another for years and it was painful sometimes because he cares for both of you so much. First and foremost though as he’d told JJ you are and will always be his first thought. It’s just a big brother thing to protect his little sister.
JJ watches until John B makes it into the château before deciding to hold you close for a little while longer. Before he knows it though your soft, even breathing lulls him into his own slumber and his eyes close, but even in his sleep he holds you close never ever wanting this Christmas to end; the most perfect Christmas ever for the both of you.
The End…
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Won't Say I'm in Love // Fred Weasley x F!Reader
Summary: In which the reader is best friends with the twins and they convince her to help them with something extra special for WWW. Warnings: Mentions of food and bodily harm, plus Umbridge. A/N: Look what I found in my drafts! A Freddie fic I forgot to post!
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When you woke up Saturday morning after a seriously long week of classes, the first thing you wanted to hear was definitely not your name being yelled at top volume from a certain boisterous Weasley twin you happened to call your best friend.
“Fred, you better have a damn good reason for coming in here at this ungodly hour and waking me up with your screechy voice. And if you don’t shut it, I’m going to blast you with the nastiest hex I can think of,” you warned him without opening your eyes. You snuggled further into your pillows, but Fred snatched the blankets off your body.
“Wake up! I need your help with something.” Fred demanded.
“What the bloody hell do you want, Weasley? Can’t a girl get any sleep these days? I was dreaming,” you grumbled, body pulled into a ball to keep from freezing in the chilly air of the dorms. Fred groaned.
“You’re such a drama queen. I need your potions expertise.”
“Oh yeah?” You peered up at him, both eyes open, suddenly curious. “What for?”
“Y’know those Wonder Witch products you’ve been helping me and Georgie with? The secret ones even Granger and the rest don’t know about?” Fred started.
“You mean those ‘temporary’ love potions that took me two months to get right? The ones that you made me try and caused me to be in love with Lee for three miserable weeks before I figured out the issues? Those products?” you asked, embarrassed when you remembered what you had said and done during that time. It was mortifying.
Fred sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck and mumbled an affirmative answer. “But this time is different!”
“How so?” You cross your arms, now fully awake. You glanced to the side of your bed, hoping Fred had the decency to at least have brought you breakfast or caffeine or both. You were disappointed to see that he’d done neither. “You’re not very good at convincing me. Didn’t even bring me food,” you grumbled.
“This one is a soulmate potion.” Fred grinned, eyebrows going up and down.
“A soulmate potion? What the bloody hell is that?”
“A potion that helps you find your soulmate? It’s not that difficult to grasp, mate. No one’s ever done it before!” Fred was animatedly explaining his thought process and you groaned as he laid out the plan.
“And I suppose you want me to test it once I brew it?” you sighed.
“Well, it would probably be best? Unless you want to test it on some first years? I’m sure they’d love to have a go. Who wouldn’t want to find their soulmate?” Fred’s eyes glittered with mischief.
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” You grumbled as you rolled out of bed, blindly searching for a sweater to dispel the cold taking over your frame. You ended up with one of the Christmas sweaters Molly had knitted you over your pajamas causing Fred to grin.
“Let’s go, then!” He snatched you away down the stairs, which did turn into a slide, and eventually into the room of requirement where you’d set up a temporary testing space for your potions experiments and their various prank products. Much to your chagrin, George was already there.
“Hey, sweetheart. Got you some breakfast and a cuppa since this nitwit didn’t want to let you sleep.” George gestured to the potions table where he’d laid out the aforementioned items. You brightened immediately.
“Georgie, you’re now my favorite twin. Don’t you forget it.” You said, smacking a kiss to his cheek as you headed over to the table.
“And what am I?” Fred scoffed. You shrugged and held up your food. The tea was downed quickly as well as the beans on toast before you got to work making notes on what both boys wanted the potion to do.
Unlike the love potions you’d created for them, which had actually been a whole line of about five different versions that all did similar things, but still varied in results, this potion was going to be highly complicated.
Two weeks later, you finally had a prototype to give them. Fourteen days of little to no sleep and brewing more than sixty cauldrons of failed potions, except for this one. The potion swirled a nice purple color, but you’d designed it to taste a bit like butterbeer at the boys’ request. It was designed to have different results for each user, as well. To find their soulmates, they’d have different side effects. Some users might feel their soulmate’s pain, some might see only in black and white until they touched their soulmate, or have small identifying tattoos show up on their skin from their soulmate. Only one person would have to take the potion in order for them to figure out who their soulmate was, one bonus you were glad of.
“So, who wants to take the plunge and try it first?” You asked nervously. Fred grinned and handed the little bottle back to you across the Gryffindor table at breakfast. Some of the first years were watching from down the table and you eyed them cautiously. You never knew what some of them would try to get their hands on Wizard Wheezes’ prototypes, especially after they’d all gone bonkers for the Skiving Snackboxes and the silly hat that made your whole head invisible.
“As our lovely assistant, dedicated friend, and favorite classmate (sorry Lee), we figured we’d give you the honors of finding your soulmate first. It’s been ages since you’ve been on a date anyway.” Fred grinned.
“What my dear brother is trying to say is that we want you to be happy and we very much appreciate what you’ve done with our products so far, so we’d love for you to find the person who’s going to make you happier.” George smoothed over his twin’s remarks with a pointed glare at the other redhead.
“Fine. Take notes of what I say.” You snorted. The potion was downed with four sips, the flavor seeming to follow your directives. “The taste is decent, but could use some tweaking. Side effect is that I feel a bit woozy and I’m seeing a few black spots in my vision. I’m not sure if this will work, but it seems alright so far.”
“Do you feel any different? Are you seeing in black and white? Can you hear your soulmate’s words in your head? Did initials ink themselves onto your skin?” The twins bombarded you with questions which you tried to answer as they made notes on a parchment, but the truth was that nothing seemed to have happened. There was nothing that would suggest your potion worked or that it followed any of the soulmate stories muggle writers attempted to tell.
“I don’t feel any different. It may not have worked.” You sighed, eying the potion bottle as if it would tell you what was wrong with it. It couldn’t. You ran over the ingredients and your methods mentally, but even that didn’t give any clues.
“Quidditch practice, lads! Don’t make me yank you by ‘yer ears.” Angelina Johnson’s barking yell sounded from the other end of the table and your favorite twins groaned.
“We’ll discuss this later. We’ve got a quidditch captain to torment.” George grinned, both boys rushing away.
About two hours later, you were in the room of requirement again working on the potion and taking notes on the color and taste when a sharp pain started shooting through your right arm, the muscle throbbing.
“Shit,” you cursed, dropping the vial you’d been swirling. It shattered on the ground, glittering for a second before the room sucked the potion and the broken glass into the ground to clean it. “Thanks, room.”
The muscles in your upper arm throbbed, and you pulled up your sleeve to look at it, a gigantic bruise the size of a bludger forming under the skin. You stared at it in disbelief, then darted your eyes to the potion. It worked.
Somewhere out there, you had a soulmate and you’d just gotten their injury etched into your own skin. But then you started cursing yourself, because of course you happened to get the one effect you hadn’t really wanted.
“Why couldn’t it have been the tattoos or the black and white thing?” You muttered, moving back over to the table to make notes on the things you’d just discovered.
You were so lost in your studies and notes that you didn’t even notice the twins entering the room with Lee until they were right next to you.
“Any developments?” George asked, causing you to jump.
“Merlin’s beard!” You yelled, smacking him on the arm. Fred and Lee snickered from behind you both.
“Well?” Fred asked expectantly, his gaze sweeping over the table that was now covered with multiple cauldrons and a rack that you’d filled with at least twelve versions of the soulmate potion. He made to pick one up, but you swatted his hand away.
“I’ve made some developments, but those ones aren’t ready yet. So don’t touch my system, Weasley.”
“Alright, alright. Won’t touch ‘em. We’ve come to bring you down to dinner anyway. It’s getting late.” Fred said, guiding you towards the door.
“How long have I been in here?” you asked, forgetting that you’d forgotten the wrist watch your mum had gotten you so you had no clue what time it was or when you’d last eaten.
“Johnson kept them in practice for about five hours, so we missed lunch.” Lee remarked as he walked beside you, “George nearly got her with a bludger to get her to let us leave, but it got Fred in the arm instead.”
You froze, hearing what Lee had said, but the others didn’t seem to notice and you darted your eyes to Fred’s right arm. There was no way, right?
“Yeah, gave him a nasty bruise.” George winced, “Ah well, nothing a little bruise paste can’t clear up.”
“Was it that bad?” you asked shakily, hoping they wouldn’t notice the inflection to your voice. You needed more details, more time, to determine if what you suspected was true.
“Nah, just got a lump on my arm the size of that bludger. It’s pretty gnarly. I’ll use it to market the bruise paste later tonight. See if we can get some of the Gryffindors to add that to their purchase list.” Fred grinned, surreptitiously rubbing his arm. His right arm. The same arm that was sporting a bruise on your own body.
Dinner passed quickly with the twins talking to you and Lee about upcoming plans for the products you all were inventing when, all of a sudden, Lee stabbed Fred’s left hand hard with his fork, nodding his head at a Ravenclaw witch who had just entered the Great Hall. He’d been talking about her for weeks, but never made a move to ask her out despite his long-winded speeches of being a ‘lady-killer.’
The pain radiated on your own hand and you were horrified to see the marks from the tines on both the back of your hand and Fred’s, though he didn’t notice since he was too busy brandishing his own fork at Lee who’d surrendered quickly. You snatched your hand off the table, trying to focus on your pumpkin juice instead of the fight the boys were having, rolling your eyes at their stupidity.
Only George noticed your odd actions, but he very smartly didn’t say a word in your presence and you didn’t notice his pointed stares. You were trying to convince yourself, and failing, that what you really needed was a good night’s sleep and that you must be imagining things. But two injuries to Fred in one day and you receiving the aftermath of both of them just couldn’t be a coincidence.
But the topping on the cake was three days later when Fred landed himself in detention with Umbridge. You knew what she was going to make him do and so you waited in your bed for the letters to appear on the back of your hand, as you figured they would. It would be the final test to see if you were right about the soulmate potion and who it was pointing you towards.
And finally, there they were. A burning sensation took over your skin, making you feel like you’d been stung by a hundred bees as the cuts appeared on your skin, spelling out the phrase “I must not be a nuisance.” You gasped, the pain sharper than you’d expected. You hadn’t landed yourself in detention with Umbridge yet, but this was horrible. The pain made you cry, but the shock of your findings was almost worse.
Fred Weasley was your soulmate. There was no other explanation.
You laid back on your bed, clutching your hand, and closed your eyes. Fred couldn’t be your soulmate, you reasoned. For multiple reasons.
Number one, even though you’d had a horrible crush on him for the past year or so, he had never once seemed to indicate that he felt the same and you were never going to ask him. Number two, he had just broken up with Angelina a few months prior on summer holiday and tensions were still high between the two of them. You were sure that that was part of the reason she’d kept them in practice for so long the other night. Number three, the only logical thing was that he’d tampered with the potion so that it would point to him and so they could get a laugh.
All three things made you upset, so you were grateful when sleep claimed you for the night, and you were thankful that you didn’t hear any of your roommates come in either.
The next morning, the back of your hand was still mottled and you looked at it in shock. The pain was gone, but the scars were still there. There was no way you were going to be able to hide this without a glamor of some sort. So that’s what you did.
At breakfast, you were strangely quiet, even when the twins asked you for updates on the potion. You were hesitant to say it worked, but the words came out anyway when they asked. Both their eyes nearly bugged out of their heads when you said you’d realized who your soulmate was and that they were at Hogwarts.
“Who? Who is it?” They asked, stumbling over each other’s words as they grilled you for information.
“I’m not revealing that.” you scoffed. “Now, I’ve taken copious notes on the subject, improved the taste of the potion, and made sure it can be replicated, so you shouldn’t have any issues there. You can market it with the Wonder Witch line, or do something else. But that’s all I’ll say on the matter.”
George and Fred both looked at you curiously, but didn’t disagree with you so you let the matter drop as you discussed the ways you were going to prevent Umbridge from figuring out some of the other things you were up to with your inventions.
But the twins didn’t really let the matter drop and they combed through your notes, finding the one paper you had forgotten to take with you from the Room of Requirement.
“Injury to the arm last Saturday, imprints of a fork on the same day, a burn from a firework on Wednesday, and blimey! Words from Umbridge’s evil quill etched into the skin of the hand.” George read aloud to both Fred and Lee.
“Is she taking notes of my injuries?” Fred asked, looking over George’s shoulder at the list you’d written.
Lee gasped, then started cackling, pointing at Fred with tears in his eyes as he continued to laugh.
“Quit taking the piss, mate. What are you laughing for?”
“Merlin’s beard, Fred! You asked her to make a soulmate potion and she got one of the lamest options! Did you tamper with the cauldron when she was making it?” Lee asked, tears of laughter still twinkling in his dark eyes.
Fred looked at him in confusion.
“George, what’s this tosser talking about?”
George, to his credit, shook his head and handed him the list. He’d figured it out far quicker than Fred and Lee had, noticing your odd behavior around Fred for the past week or so, especially when you started taking notice of what Fred had done to himself injury-wise.
“She’s your soulmate, you dummy.” Lee answered for him.
Fred furrowed his brow, reading over the list. And sure enough, it wasn’t just a list of his injuries, but where they’d appeared on your body. Not his. You’d correlated them to him, though, and it was obvious now. You were his soulmate. His best friend, you.
Lee and George stood there, waiting to see his reaction, but Fred didn’t say a word before rushing out of the room with the list in his hand. Lee and George tore after him, sure he was about to muck this up.
And muck it up he did.
Fred found you in the common room, having fallen asleep reading a book. You were sprawled on one of the couches, Hermione and Harry near you in comfy chairs by the fire. They looked up when the twins and Lee came in, but stared on in horror as Fred marched right up to their friend with a crazed look in his eyes and shook you awake.
“W-what?” you startled, dropping your book on the floor. The impact woke you immediately and you looked up just to make eye contact with Fred. You gasped, seeing the look in his eyes.
“What is this?” he demanded, shoving your list in your hands. You took the list and scanned over it, gaping up at him without saying anything. Fred didn’t speak either as he snatched your left hand and pointed his wand at it, saying, “Revelio!”
The glamor you’d placed over it to hide the scar faded immediately, leaving the words glaringly imprinted in your skin. You snatched your hand back, trembling, and looked back up at Fred who was looking more determined than you’d ever seen him.
“So did the potion work?” he asked thickly. You nodded hesitantly. “And it’s me? I’m your soulmate?” Another nod.
Fred raked his hands through his hair. Lee and George watched from behind, ready to jump in if needed.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Fred asked incredulously.
You gaped up at him, panicking as you stole glances around you at the other people in the common room. Quite a few of them were looking over at your little group, causing you to shrink into yourself.
Why didn’t you tell him? Why? So many reasons, but one being the most notable.
“I didn’t want to force it on you.” you murmured, moving to a sitting position on the couch as you kept your hand hidden. Fred knelt down beside you on the floor and gently took your hands in his this time.
“It’s not forced if I want this too. Why do you think I had you make this potion?” Fred asked quietly, rubbing his fingers over the scarred tissue his request had inadvertently caused.
“For the profit?” you asked dumbly, still trying to process the turn of events here. Fred laughed, but not unkindly. He smiled at you.
“Because I wanted you to be happy. You’ve always been there for us and we’ve done precious little for you in return. And I’ll be honest, you’ve been catching my eye for the past year, so I’m thrilled that it’s you and me, yeah?”
“Really?” you whispered.
“Honest to Merlin.”
“And you’re not upset with me?” you asked nervously.
“Not in the slightest. Do I wish I’d noticed sooner? Absolutely, but we can’t change that. I’m sorry you got the one side effect you didn’t want. You didn’t deserve to feel the same pain as me or get marks because of it.”
“It was worth it. Well, mostly. They all hurt like hell.”
Fred chuckled.
“Now what’s the antidote to your potion? Y’know, so you can stop getting the same injuries as me?”
And that’s when you blanched.
“I didn’t make one.”
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Omg sorry I’m SO late I was busy doing all the FANART for people and with work which made me really tired and sick. Yes, I’m really sick, my asthma is getting worse and my head has been hurting.
But I’m making this post for Christmas special for people I enjoy talking to/ hanging out with.
First is @smg-24
Man…you make so many art of RMG which I really appreciate by the way because you drew her A LOT, and that’s not all..I really enjoy ur company and helped me with stuff I was struggling with. You put a smile on my face every time I see you online or whenever we are on call. I love our friendship so much I never regret meeting you at all tbh, you make my day so much better because of ur personality and being around you makes everything better . I hope we stay best friends forever.🫶🏻💗
Next up is @mikchi8
Mikchi. How do I even start-
You are really funny in general and have good jokes, it makes me laugh every time. And also, you just are interesting too..I MEAN like you crazy and all but you still are a good person. Whenever I see u in the vc’s I join because you light up my mood, even when ur only in there. I like the way u act and I like ur style with ur ocs, it very classy and adorable.Im so glad I met you because you’re the most I talk to in the server. Your friendship has brought so much joy and positivity into my life.🫶🏻💗
Then is @knightedmares
Bro..YOU ARE SO FREAKIN COOL AND AWESOME I LOVE U MAN. I really adore you a lot and you are just WAY too cool in general.You are an amazing friend and buddy, like I literally want to be you so bad. You have good taste in music and fashion on your ocs.KNIGHTMARE I wish I could give u a big tight hug for being an awesome person to everyone, including me also.You should honestly be proud of yourself for being a chill dude. I love you man🫶🏻💗
Other is @neo91502
Hahaha…YOU..YOU SILLY SILLY LITTLE CREATURE..First, I just want to say that your yapping in the vc’s are like music to my ears, you yap about anything which is impressive if I’m going to be honest. In general, you make silly art of the silly meme Guardians and yaoi, makes me smile every time I see them.Jokes are funnier when YOU tell them because you’re just silly crazy, possibly insane.Literally everyone loves you if you think about it, we are going crazy of you.How do you make everyone laugh? 💗🫶🏻
More @libbytwq LORE!!
I get excited everytime I see you like I’ve been a fan since 2023 when you had those non-smg4 characters.You make really creative ocs and art I mean, you had so many cool ocs I just want to eat them one by one, Especially cee cee skies.Whenever you join the vc’s I spam ur name because i love when you’re hanging around! I gotta say, you grew more for the past months that I lowkey miss ur non-smg4 characters/silly anyways 🫶🏻💗
@nxva-blogz ( I know you can’t see this but ima send it to you on discord.)
Nova I just want to appreciate the fact you lighten my day and your jokes make me crack up everytime, they are really funny and the silly stuff with hexsy.I know u are a little goofy sometimes but idc, I can be goody with you😈. Anyways- I love when you joke around with hex3 or hex4 the “Tomm you should make a comic about hex3/hex4) it makes me laugh. The stupid quotes from hexsy is hilarious bro I can’t get it outta my head.💗🫶🏻
@moonlight12086
Oh my dear moon..my little silly crazy kitty..
YOU..!!!! YOU!!! YOU I LOVE U SM BRO UR SO COOL AND I LOVE UR STYLE SO MUCH!!! Your animated shit is so cool I swear like- I love you pookie, I’m so glad I met you because you’re not leaving me /j💗I REALLY hope we stay bffs forever and ever and I wish I could hug you rn I miss you. Your style is beautiful and delicious I just want to eat it right now because I bet it would taste like Cotten candy or biscuits, possibly caramel. You put a smile on my face every time we talk💗🫶🏻
@coralalala64
Girl... You're Hilarious with ur gifs and personally, makes me weeze all day 🤣. You are a nice and good person in general to begin with and I wanna say..ur art..doodles..anything..IS YUMMY I SWEAR ESPECIALLY THE ANGST AND LITTLE FETUSES YOU MAKE AGHHH. You literally slay all day queen /j but I also want to mention that YOU EAT CHIPS IN A BOWL🤣😭 nah girl same- anyways I want to give you a million hugs because you're the best :) 🫶
@tiredsmashbros
Well....well...well..what do we have here..
YOU SILLY SILLY BURGER GOOBER MAN I SWEAR-
YOU MAKE AMAZING DELICIOUS FOOD THAT I MUNCH ONE BY ONE. YOUR COMICS ARE SO DELICIOUS, EVEN THE BOWLUIGI ONE BECAUSE I LOVE THEM SMMMM😭😭 AND U JUST MAKE ME FEEL BETTER WHEN I TALK TO YOU CAUSE UR LITERALLY TOMM?!?? WHO WOULDN'T FEEL EXCITED AND NERVOUS?! I also want to say that ive been looking at your account for a while now and when you brought up 'discord server' I was nervous and excited to meet you for the first time. We both have same interests in fandoms which is surprising tbh😟 you make me smile when u talk to me because you are my top BIGGEST IDOL. 🫶
@kittykibbl
Hey kitty... 😈
Kitty you make really good angst of van and hexsy because its so scrumptious and tasty. You are a cool, chill dude in general, literally I swear- when you draw characters they look so cartoony and jiggly it looks amazing. Sometimes you peek in the vc's to Either scare us or see how we are doing. Just to let you know, you are the most important person in the server rn this second. 🫶
If I didn't ping you or make you fanart, I APOLOGIZE BECAUSE IM REALLY SICK SO I CANT THINK RN.
MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!! LOVE YOU GUYS
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JUDGEMENT
Finally, her fourth and final card for Trespasser!!
1. The Hanged Man
2. The Chariot
3. The High Priestess
#IM FREE#my art#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#shivana lavellan#dai#lavellan#dragon age fanart#dragon age tarot#these have been a blast to make but I’m so glad to be done with them for now#da:i#thanks for all the love everyone has given this series#I’m bad with my words but just know I ❤️💞💕💗💖#thinking about making a post about the symbolism in all the cards. but I make no promises#sorry this one took so long I’ve spent the last month just staring at it#tumblr destroyed the quality#yet again :(#I wanted her armor to look like it was becoming part of her skin#lots of thoughts about knight enchanters/arcane warriors as living weapons#also dragon scales bc she drank from the well of sorrows#also if you missed it I edited her last card#she keeps her vallaslin now :)#art
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simple background/environment practice with Sevika <3
Men DNI
#i don’t know if I’ll ever finish it#I’ve just been thinking a lot about retired cowboy/farmer sev#oh to be a small baby cow sleeping on the lap of a muscular lesbian#I tried posting this like 2 times already lets hope it’ll work this time#when she inevitably dies in like 6 months im stealing her she’s mine now#she’s my oc and I’ll take good care of her#I’ll make sure she lives happy and stress free#sevika#arcane#my art
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have i been on here long enough to warrant an “about me” post or have i been sufficiently perceived 😛😛😛😛
#fun fact the original reason i didn’t make one#is because i didn’t think id have this blog long enough#like i figured id be on here for a few weeks or maybe a month at most#and i only started writing bc i was PLAGUED by visions#i was never even gonna post it but then i realized i was reading other series i really enjoyed and figured fuck it#but now it’s been like 5 months ????? or something crazy?????#i’m about to get emotional lmao but i’m so glad for my time here#and for all the wonderful people i’ve met and interactions i’ve had#this got incredibly off topic LMAO#anyways#love you all#kissing you n hugging you#thx for making this such a lovely place <3#anywho i will be making an about me HAHAHAHAHAHA#q speaks
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I started watching Interview with the Vampire. My thoughts are now consumed by Interview with the Vampire.
#I know I haven’t been active on here in MONTHS but it looks like this show is bringing me back#I watched ep 1 yesterday#and had enough self restraint to wait till today for ep 2#I was going to make this post yesterday but there were too many vampires in my head#I don’t have the words to describe how much it has instantly become my new obsession#I was scared it was going to be another show that I’d heard was queer and was in fact just queerbaiting#but no. actual gays. vampire gays. textual vamp-queers#I will not be thinking about anything other than this show for the foreseeable thank you for your patience#determined not to get spoiled so I’ve blocked the tags and shall not be engaging with content just yet which is incredibly upsetting for me#but I know the wait will be worth it#also now I just want to draw vampires#madzillus babble#iwtv#interview with the vampire
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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasn’t actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over
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WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE
#I DIDNT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT BUT STILL. SOMEONE SHOULDVE WARNED ME BEFORE I GOT COMPLETELY INVESTED#I know next to nothing abt dimension 20 I’m pretty sure I just saw a post abt burrows end specifically MONTHS ago and was like 👀👀👀#opened a tab with the first episode to watch later and promptly forgot about it#until last night! having a bad night and was like hrm what if I just watch smth#and I’ve been reading watership down recently!! finally got my own copy bc it was my favourite book when I was like NINE#so I am fully primed to fall in love with a story abt little animals rn and man#I am OBSESSED with this and also realising yeah I’m at a point where I could get very into tabletop rpgs now#what if. what if I just get dropout. what if I just do that. would that not be fun. I would like to see the stoats do stuff#i am so in love with Ava and her player and I understand so much more about brennan lee mulligan now. and VIOLA#viola may be my favourite character I’m obsessed with how she interacts with other characters.m#i NEED to know what’s up with thorn’s cult thing. and also thorn. what is going on there#hrrgrhehh the thing that’s holding me back is I’m allergic to subscriptions#impermanence. even though I know it’s fairly unlikely I’ll wanna watch it again any time soon I don’t like the idea that I’d have to like#in a couple years pay for it again or not be able to bc I can’t afford it even though I already paid for it once#I’m a books + cartridge games guy and it shows.#okay. I will chew on this. the price is not unreasonable and I have coincidentally also been looking at make some noise clips#it does not help that I basically never watch things but my favourite podcast is also ending within the next month (2 episodes left)#and this IS primarily audio so I could cook + watch mayhaps. and I’ve heard good things abt all other d20.#they have a 20% off first year deal on. annual would make me less stressed long term if I end up liking this bc cheaper + choice premade#and would also mean I can do it now and not feel bad abt wasting the first month bc I won’t be able to watch much for a few weeks#fuck it I’m allowed to make frivolous purchases sometimes I will simply swallow the subscription distaste#more stoats >:)#that aside all the players are incredible I’m pretty sure when this is done I’ll wanna watch other seasons just to see what else they do#okay go do the thing I believe in you you can spend money sometimes#luke.txt#update I downloaded the app. I am putting off the decision for another day now bc it’s 1:21am and I have not been thinking clearly <3
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i pretty much always listen to instrumental music while writing and i keep a playlist of some of my favorite long compilations which works well and good until one of my three hour piano compilations ends and suddenly transitions to an intense soundtrack and scares me half to death because i was too focused to expect it
#horrifying almost passed away i think#i should really just separate my calm instrumental and my exciting instrumental into different playlists at this point😪#this has happened Too Many times smh#posting this because i wanted to complain but also!!#this happened while i was working on my one cytham fic i’ve been blathering about for like two months!!#and i finally got past the section that kept giving me so much trouble and making me rewrite it a million times#so!!! im really hoping i can get it done soon!!#it’s about sleeping because i’m a freak and like 90% of the shit i write is about sleep apparently lol#and also it’s at ~10k words right now which means it’ll be my longest finished fic once it’s done!!#anyway i’m just really excited about it!! :)!!!!#and praying my productivity holds so that we can knock the rest of it out this week or next😤😤#as much as i love this one i want to work on my other wips SO bad#so MANIFESTING🙏🙏🙏
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Hmm
#pondering#I can’t believe it’s been a year since I gave up on my last crush#it seems like so long ago I feel like I’ve lived eight lifetimes since then#but it also feels like just yesterday#and yet I feel so…. distant from him#I mean I also never see him anymore#the only reason I did then is because I’d seek him out#and even then….#idk what I’m trying to say#just that things change#and myself of two years ago would be amazed#that I’m able to have a normal life and think about him minimally and painlessly#because two years ago I was in the DUMPS#I went through this intense phase where I just felt like I *had* to be with him and got to the point where I’d just cry out of fear that#that I’d die before I got a chance to make him fall in love with me#it was so bad I was so paranoid and lovesick and and and.. ough#I still remember that night so well#it was also a Wednesday like today and it had been an awful day and I had a headache#and I just thought. I can’t take this anymore. where are we even going. he’s never going to notice me never#i GIVE UP#it was mostly an impulse but looking back I’m so glad I followed that particular impulse#it’s like when Edmund walked out of Mary’s house not because he was super resolved but more on an impulse of the moment#just felt like the thing to do. and I may have regretted it once or twice afterwards but in the end it absolutely WAS the right call#and a couple months later YOU-KNOW-WHO showed up#absolutely insane events happening to me last year.#but now I feel like the girl from that one video#“girl who is going to be okay” djdjdhdh#but really! I will be!#and I am even! just taking it one day at a time#elly's posts
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i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#cw health#cw heart#i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it#i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help#sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me#he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me#sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree#have i Ever actually relaxed#hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch#anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things#a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal#so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now#and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser#i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever#if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked#all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is#every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse#anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches#‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now#i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC#which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it#i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead#anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t.#it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about#i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father
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I am never going to be a person who like…exercises. but I started just doing ten push-ups a day and the difference it’s made is wild
#can’t do anything that requires long term focus#self improvement is not a worthwhile use of my time in my head#so this is sort of my workaround to those rules?#it doesn’t take much time or space#and it’s something I can do no matter how shit my day has been#I’m like two and a half months in and my forearm muscles are no longer hiding#text post#personal#cash is fucking trying#I also rly want top surgery and I understand that the chest muscles being in good shape helps with healing#idk I feel like my arms look good I’ve never cared about my arms before except thinking they were fat in the Girl Times#now my naturally stocky build feels like it makes me stronger and that’s cool#it’s not gender euphoria exactly but it’s close maybe#I’ll get there someday
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Trying very hard to not come on too strong with this guy because (1) I shouldn’t be pursuing a relationship right now so I need to endeavor to keep it casual and (2) he’s out of town for a week anyway cause it’s Christmas. But I likeeeeee him I’m thinking about him…..
#I’ve only been single for 2 months and in those 2 months I have learned SO much more about myself and my relationship with sex and my body.#legitimately insane. anyway.#I guess almost 3 months now? so that’s an appropriate amount of time I think#anyway apparently this guy has been into me for a little bit which is ACTUALLY INSANE TO ME???? I actually kind of thought he didn’t like m#and now I’m like going over every interaction we’ve had in the past couple of months like ??????#making this post instead of texting him. keeping it cool 👍#zoeposting
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#vent#its so hard to believe that I’m not just inherently unlovable when every relationship i’ve been in has crashed and burned#and twice in a row now its ended with thw other person getting with someone Better.#I think i’m just not cut out for relationships of any kind. whether it be a qpr or romantic#because every time i’ve always absolutely ruined it with my terrible anxiety and ocd#like i’m done trying at this point. if I ever get feelings like that again (which I doubt iwill) I’m just not going to pursue them.#because like whats the point of it if I know it’s just going to end the exact same way it always does#in 5 months at worst and nearly 2 years at best#i wouldnt normally talk about this here but idont really have anyone to talk to about this#i’m probably going to#immediately bury this under a million posts so certain people don’t see this#I don’t know#i think i’m just too much in general for someone to love like that#too anxious too affectionate just too much. and it’s not like i’m pretty or smart to make up for it#people usually only like me because I’m nice.#or because I’m entertaining like a little goddamn court jester#thats it.#and then they get with me and they realize Oh this fucking sucks actually. i’m gonna go now#im supposed to be on vacation i shouldnt be thinking about this i dont WANT to be thinking about this#but some stuff happened with some really fucking bad timing because god hates me and wants to make things worse for me when I’m already#struggling enough#i just wish I was normal and I wish I was good enough#and I wish I wasn’t me because I hate being stuck with myself#i give up.
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#Now listen I’ve never been to the mental hospital but I did almost check myself into one this year#I was in a bad place….#the worst I’ve been since high school lmao#And I was in that bad place all the way up until two months ago!#when I started this blog and decided to start writing again#and now that this blog has reignited a sense of passion in me and I feel like I’m living for something and not just a work drone#I brush my teeth at night again and do my hair and my skincare and I stretch in the morning and I eat healthy and I go on walks#and I breathe deeply and meditate when I come home from work and overall I just feel like myself again#I laugh and it’s not bitter it’s just joyful and I wear the clothes I think are cute and I tell the jokes that I like#and I say the things that I want to say and express the opinions that I have#and I accept myself and I’m gentle with myself and I’m kind to myself again#while still taking care of myself#and I’ve got the spark back and I’m excited about life again#I see a future and I’m planning for one again#I’m funny again I’m at ease again I’m social again I’m creative again I’m sexy again I’m passionate again#and it’s literally all because I started this blog and started writing for CoD#it’s because you guys have liked my posts and followed me and sent me requests#it’s because the blogs that have interacted with me have been sweet and kind and funny#and didn’t make me feel like the weirdo I’ve felt like my whole life#I feel like I’m 25 and I’m starting all over again but not in a “my life just exploded” way#which is how I felt at 23 and throughout 24#but I feel like now my life is starting over again in a hopeful “there’s new growth here and spring is coming and I’m ready to bloom” way#my anxiety is gone I don’t bite my nails anymore I ACTUALLY HAVE NAILS NOW#do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had fingernails? Because I obsessively bite them due to horrible anxiety?#it’s been a long time. literally years#And I have all of this back because of the joy I’ve found blogging in this space and fantasizing about 4 stupid war criminals#you guys (all of you who have interacted with me in some way no matter how small) are a huge part of why this is all happening for me rn#and I just am really grateful to be here#grateful that I’m still here#grateful that you guys like my little ramblings
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