#tumblr keeps showing me posts that i was tagged in 6-7 months ago and telling me theyre from today

[bamsara]

also if you've sent me a message and i havent responded, im sorry! im not ignoring you, i just get very easily overwhelmed

[theothermaidoftarth]

I was tagged by @gwenllian-in-the-abbey. Please keep these writing tag games coming, they’re so fun! 

How many works do you have on AO3?

3 works

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

56,829

3. What fandoms do you write for?

House of the Dragon/Fire and Blood/ASOIAF

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I only have 3 fics so far and from ascending to descending order, the kudos count is: Sorrow, The Favoured, and Song for Evermore

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. I like to engage with my readers, especially as I’m not writing niche areas so don’t get very many (the reason I dusted off this tumblr a couple months ago, in fact). So I like to show my appreciation of their appreciation

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Sorrow, sort of. It’s just angsty all around (poor Baela)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It has to be a tie between The Favoured and Song for Evermore — they have the same ending in the sense that both sets of couple have gotten together and have the world ahead of them

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven’t on ao3 (ff.net though…)

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. Non-explicit (not too sure how to answer this one, haha, I’m not big into the smut scene generally #justacethings)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t on my ao3 (unless blending book! and show!canon could count)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Daeron “the Daring” Targaryen x Baela Targaryen — I’ve said it before on here but they are my reverse gender Braime! And (book!)Brienne x Jaime is hands down my top otp of all time, in any fandom

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Not related to a published fic (yet). But an ASOIAF au where Brienne of Tarth was born into House Baratheon, canonical blonde looks and all. I’m a massive Brienne fan and I wanted to see what would happen if I took her and made her one of the foremost ladies in the realm, in the public eye even more than other noble ladies due to being the king’s sister after Robert’s Rebellion. And how I could do it while retaining as much of her canon personality as possible, and incorporating the inevitable butterfly effects of a blonde Baratheon girl born while Aerys was on the throne. Such fun. I have about a third of it written and sort of know how I want to finish it but I’ve stalled majorly on the middle parts of the story — the butterfly effects are quite something to wrangle through and make a reasonable, logical plot out of. As such it’s been sitting in my notes for about two years (long before HoTD aired which I mention as some people in-world in the fic believe Brienne is a bastard and she’s compared to the Strong boys — she’s one hundred percent trueborn but genetics just kinda let her down: she looks like a blend of various relatives, and does look like her parents but, aside from eye colour, build and height, the resemblance is subtle and overlooked by most). It was originally supposed to be a oneshot (story of my life). Something tells me I should just write and post that oneshot but I do like the expanded themes that I’m able to explore in a multi-chapter (which is why I have so many unposted, half-finished wip multi-chaps in general clogging up my notes, and why I mostly write and post oneshots). Right now I’m working on a long oneshot which follows the basic premise but takes one of the Brienne pairings from it in a different direction to the original. So an AU of an AU. (The pairing is Brienne x Willas Tyrell for anyone interested.)

16. What are your writing strengths?

My character work. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Being concise. I sometime ramble a little as I get into the character’s head too much and so it takes away from the plot sometimes, from the punch of the dialogue, so I’m trying to improve on that while still keeping the gist of what I want to convey

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I do not usually (as I’m far from fluent in High Valyrian) but if I was writing from a real-world language, I would give context clues as to what was said nearby.  As a reader I’ve always found it confusing and immersion breaking to see untranslated dialogue in the body of the text, especially if there isn’t a translation provided in the endnotes. So I don’t like to do that myself since I like to write what I’d like to read.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

House of the Dragon (ff.net is a different story)

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Song for Evermore. I just wanted more show!Baela appreciation (and honestly more depth to her as a character since hotd so far is not it) and I was intrigued by how Daeron could be introduced and incorporated while keeping relatively to show!canon where he hasn’t even been mentioned once. I wondered why that was in-world, and how things would change if he had been introduced in s1 — the boy described as the gentlest of Viserys’ sons, the one who was charming and kind but not a leader and with a dash of darkness beneath the surface, pulled out when those he loves are in danger. What were the family dynamics at play around him, both in the Red Keep and Oldtown? How would his presence potentially change things? 

Add in my love of crack/rare pairs and my idea (and word count, haha) snowballed from there. I didn’t incorporate or fully develop every idea or headcanon I had as I’m saving that for other Baela fics, in particular another Baela/Daeron fic and I didn’t want to be too repetitive (though since they are in a hinge poly with Aemond in the other one, things are already quite different there, that’s for sure).

Tagging: @richardsthirdnipple @mejcinta @daylander1000

I’m not sure who else writes on ao3 who hasn’t been tagged already by another mutual (which happens so much with tag games, so I never know who to tag, haha) but whoever hasn’t been and wants to participate, feel free to tag me in your post! 

[kirame90]

SniperSpy puts the planning on hold

Take one last look at the happy couple, folks!

As some of you have noticed, I am having quite of a battle with Tumblr at the moment. They’ve hidden my blog because I shared 18+ content YEARS ago and WELL before their change of rules considering adult content. I have deleted all the flagged posts (that were invisible to me before Monday morning) but so far they are refusing to release my blog and are hiding my work from the tags.

So, I believe this is the right time for me to move on. I got this absolutely brilliant idea from an anonymous person (PLEASE TELL ME WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!) where instead of having a rushed wedding (in like 6 months or so xD) the comic shall end on an entirely different note. Please forgive me for the change of quality from now on, I fell in love with their idea so I just had to do it, even if the original plan and comic is still going.

To those who have seen this little story worth reblogging; thank you. Truly, from the bottom of my heart. I know I keep repeating myself but since my content isn’t showing in the tags each and every reblog has been extremely important to me. Apparently the latest plot twist of them getting engaged wasn’t what people had wanted so all the more reason to end this comic with dignity. At least here on Tumblr :)

Wow, that was a lot of words there. I suppose I just want to say thank you and I’m sorry to whoever has been reblogging this and helped me get some (or any) visibility. Your support has been invaluable.

The next page is now available on Patreon. Please note that 100 % of the donations will be donated forward to different non-profits helping people, animals and environment worldwide. This month’s cause is https://savelife.in.ua. I will also pledge to match these donations through Patreon to Finnish Natural Heritage Foundation. Check them both out!

First part / Previous part

The characters don’t belong to me, the artwork does.

All dem other parts:

Part1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Part 17

Part 18

Part 19

Part 20

Part 21

Part 21,5

Part 22

Part 23

Part 24

Part 25

Part 26

Part 27

Part 28

Part 29

Part 30

Part 31

Part 32

Part 33

Part 34

Part 35

Part 36

Part 37

Part 38

Part 39

Part 40

Part 41

Part 42

Part 43

Part 44

Part 45

Part 46

Part 47

Part 48

Part 49

Part 50

Part 51

Part 52

Part 53

Part 54

Part 55

Part 56

Part 57

Part 58

Part 59

Part 60

Part 61

Part 62

Part 63

Part 64

Part 65

Part 66

Part 67

Part 68

Part 69

Part 70

Part 71

Part 72

Part 73

Part 74

Part 75

Part 76

Part 77

Part 78

Part 79

Part 80

Part 81

Part 82

Part 83

Part 84

Part 85

Part 87

Part 88

Part 89

Part 90

Part 91

Alternative ending

Part 93

[wangxianficrecs]

Fic Finder

~*~

1.  Hi, I'm looking for an Untamed fic, maybe you'll be able to help. It's a canon divergence AU in which WWX doesn't lose his core, Jiang Fengmian lives and it's implied that his core was transferred to JC (heavily implied; JFM retires as the Sect Leader after that). This is absolutely not the most important part of this fic but it's a paragraph that I've got stuck in my head and now I'm searching for the rest @_@ Thanks in advance! ~ @otemporaetmores

FOUND! by @notsobabblespace, who was reminded of  I’m aching and I know you are too by edenwolfie (part 3 in series, M, 23k, wangxian)

FOUND!  by @jim-is-spocks-thyla, who suggests ❤️ to arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag (M, 35k, wangxian) [ETA:  Oops, not this one.  JFM has no core, but he didn’t give it to JC]

~*~

2.  Hi Mojo! I’m in need of you/your followers help in finding a fic that I read a little while ago. It was a fic where Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi lived together in Cloud Recesses and their children were Sizhui and an OOC that was younger than him. I remember SiZhui faced a lot of criticism for not being the chief cultivator’s real child? And they were happy he had a younger sibling that would be sect leader in the future because he was blood. Come to think of it, this is probably an ABO fic too. Thanks for your time 💜

FOUND! @andidontmeanto believes this is Blue Blood by PotterheadAvengerDemigod (T, 91k, wangxian, my post)

~*~

3.  Aksks it's like 3 am but I just remembered a fic and I can't find it?? I'd really, really appreciate your help. It was a wangxian fic, maybe a oneshot idk, and lwj was kind of a nerd and wwx a badboy? So basically lwj has a massive crush on him and dresses up like wwx etc. (i think he even got an undercut) and after a party they sleep with each other at lwj's place?

~*~

4.  i’m looking for a fic set in the where lwj’s mother killed his father? i don’t think that was a main plot point but it did show up in his backstory - any idea what this might be? ~ @thehype

FOUND!  @rentslirott thinks this could be ❤️the best of you by sysrae (E, 42k, wangxian, my post)

FOUND!  @castaways-logbook offers  The Right to Care by travelingneuritis (E, 39k, wangxian, WIP)

~*~

5.  ... same as #6 ...

~*~

6.  Hello friend, sorry for the inconvenience but I wanted to see if you could please find me a fic that I lost but I only remember more or less the final part, it goes more or less like this, lan zhan and wei ying are kidnapped by jin guangyao and lock them up if not I'm wrong in some cells next to lan xichen after the fights jin guangyao dies but lan xichen did know how bad jin guangyao had done and he didn't care and then to get revenge he wants to kill wei ying but lan zhan kills him and sizhui gets scared It was more or less like that, please help me ~ @isa0123lol

FOUND!  by @wangxiansfics who says that tragically it’s no longer available, but @dulachodladh found it on WaybackMachine here: Thread and Needle by haysel (M, 86k, wangxian)

~*~

7.  Hi, Mojo! I'm glad that you're back but I hope you enjoyed your time off tumblr! Can you and/or your followers help me find a fic? I think the summary was talking about wwx and somehow they were asking mingjue for help since he's the only one who can help. The summary was in italics and it's a dialogue from some guy? And a shorter summary below. Sadly this is the only thing I can remember but I hope you can still help me

FOUND!  @alwayswenning suggests love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, has it’s own fanfic here, I just finished this last night!, my bookmark)

~*~

8.  Sorry to bombard you as soon as you're back, but this one's driving me crazy--a modern AU where they met online. WWX thinks LWJ is an old man from how he talks. I don't remember much except the excerpt made it seem like he still was amused by/enjoyed talking to him, and Wen Qing was telling him it was a bad idea and to stop. It's not How to Fall In Love With a Catfish, tho that one is brilliant! (Also any top notch identity porn would be great) Hope your break was restful, you deserve it! Thanks

Here’s my #identity porn tag, but I’m not sure about this exact story.

I'm the anon for #8 on the fic finder. Though I'm excited to read it, the suggested fic isn't the one I was looking for. I swear I thought I saw it on here around a month ago or slightly more, but searches have failed me.

FOUND!  Rating: General Audiences by Mishaa (T, 18k, wangxian WIP) -  mysterious author LWJ (speculated to be an old man because of his formality) and infamous artist WWX paired up for an Untamed Big Bang (in an AU where JGY was the series’ antiheroic protagonist; this fic was written before the release of CQL.)

FOUND?  could you be looking for  Something Real by Latios (G, 5k, wangxian, my post) - wwx thinks lwj is an old man, but there’s no WQ.  There are many pictures of bunnies.

SIMILAR! @emilysidhe thought of ID Bro Saga by Bowandtie (T, 39k, wangxian)

~*~

9.  Hey, how are you? Could you help me please? I've read 3 fanfics once, but I can't find them anymore. 1 - Nanny Problem, Wei is going to be the babysitter of A-Yuan, he is an omega and Lan is an alpha. 2 - Doctor Perfect, Yibo is an omega nurse and Xiao is an alpha doctor. 3 - The Baby of my Omega, Yibo is omega and Xiao is alpha, both of them are bodyguards, but Yibo has to protect Xiao in the beginning. I think they were at ao3, but I really can't find them. Can you help me please? Thank you!! ~ @weallmad

~*~

10.  Hi! Im happy you’re back. I hope you had a good break. I missed your recommendations, but at the same time i got a break from fics and actually studied to my tests haha.  [Ah!  I’m glad to hear your time was spent productively!]  I’m looking for a fic like Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground. In the fic im looking for wangxian slowly lose their senses instead of all of them at once. Like they lose their hearing, then touch, sight etc, They can’t see each other or hear each other. I’m sorry i can’t explain very well.

FOUND?  Could you be thinking of  ❤️shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (E, 25k, wangxian)?  Only lwj losese his senses one by one in this one, though.

~*~

11.  heyyy im trying to find this fic where wwx died the first time he was thrown in to the burial mounds then 10 years later he gets resurrected or something. I can't find it on AO3 and it's been bugging me for days. Thank you!

FOUND!  Well, @moku-youbi offers both of these as possibilities:

Did I Not Explain Why the Sunset Turns Red? by 3988Akasha (E, 100k, wangxian)

we're starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 95k, wangxian)

~*~

12.  Hi I am looking for a fic where wwx is a witch (/mage?) in a world where magic is being persecuted (especially in Gusu) except for Yunmeng/Lanling I think but they're still frowned upon nonetheless. Then after accidentally hurting Shijie, wwx runs away, and ends up hiding in Gusu pretending to be a servant to lwj (lwj is a prince, lxc is the emperor) but lwj actually knows of his identity and tries not-so-discreetly to protect him from being caught. Thanks!

FOUND! by @bibliobasilisk who gives us Witchfinder by misbehavingvigilante (E, 86k, wangxian)

~*~

13.  Hi! Firstly, I'm glad to see you're back, and I hope your break was a good one! I'm trying to find a LWJ/WWX story that I had planned to read and ending up losing before I could. It was set in the immediate aftermath of the 33 lashes, LWJ is in the Jingshi recovering when a healer(?) discovers he's pregnant (by WWX). It may have been a/b/o verse, but I'm not 100% on that. Part of the story was a flashback to when WWX was still alive. Thank you!

FOUND!  by nonny themself.  It’s Unexpected Surprise by Glucose_Gremlin (E, 4k, wangxian)

SIMILAR! @mondelgel suggests my heart is kept as pure as ice in a jade vase/一片冰心在玉壶 by Daledesu (M, 21k, wangxian, WIP)

SIMILAR! from @impending-cuttlefish:  something new, something white, something blue by ariskamalt (E, 140k, wangxian, WIP)

~*~

14.  I'm trying to find this one fic where Jin Ling finds this diary that Wei Ying wrote as the Yiling Patriarch that basically reveals everything, including the golden core reveal and it even has training tips that helps Jon Ling improve. When Wei Ying comes back, he tries everything to keep him there because he is THE best uncle now. I need to find it because it is a N E E D.

FOUND? by @theladypeartree who says, “The Truth (Untold) is jl reading jyl's journals, not wwx's though. And mordant is jl returning wwx's journals that he found, not grew up with. Neither fit #14 properly, but I seriously could not find anything closer after two solid days of searching. Good luck!“

The Truth (Untold) by anxiouswreck0_0 (g, 3k, wangxian, jin ling & wei wuxian)

or this one on ffn:

mordant by tennisnotensai (M, 18k, wangxian, here’s the link for mobile)

~*~

15.  I have heard tell of a Sizhui/Jingyi fic where the boys end up going to Wangxian for advice about how to be intimate. Can you help me find it?

FOUND!  @manaika-chan says this one is On Advisement by LaMachina17 (M, 19k, wangxian, zhuiling, chengyi)

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16.  nm

~*~

17.  Hi! Sorry, do you happen to know that nsfw fic where wwx is still studying in the cloud recesses and he’s reading a novel (im not sure if it was from nhs) that features a cultivator couple and there’s a scene in the book where the woman was pegging her husband? Basically wwx got curious about this and tried fingering himself. I remember he was hiding in the back mountains and then lwj eventually caught him

FOUND?  Could you be thinking of  Deep in the Woods by malkinmalkout (E, 5k, wangxian, my post)?

~*~

18.  Ahhh I'm going crazy trying to think of a fic that I've read where Lan Zhan killed Wen Chao in a locker room and nie huaisang stood guard outside the door! Then lan zhan went to lan huan and said I killed someone and he said did they deserve it? Then it's fine. And I can't remember the name of the fic! Have you heard of it? ~ @uchihaautumn

FOUND! @artemisisdiana offers So Full Of Love (Wouldn't Know Where to Start) by witchupbitch (M, 54k, wangxian, WIP)

~*~

19.  Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find a fic. I read it a while ago and I don't really remember all the details but it was a modern au where Lan Wangji was a police officer in this small town and Wei Wuxian comes back after years, having left the town due to some stuff. Thank you in advance.

Btw love your blog. I live for your fic recs.  [Thank you!]

FOUND?  Could you be looking for medium blues by dark_and_terrible (E,193k,  wangxian)?  It appears to be taken down atm, but it might come back (it’s done it before).

FOUND! by @grannyweatherwaxshat who offers When a Bird Flies, It Leaves Feathers by Bem_Kofi (not rated, 75k, wangxian)

~*~

20.  Hi mojo!! First of all I luv your blog Thank you so much for all those ficrecs.  [You’re welcome!]  Actually I’m looking for a fic I read months ago. I probably found the fic from your blog. But I can’t seem to find it now 😢 it was a modern au wangxian fic (inspired by call me by ur name?) wwx was like 5 years older than lwj. (And lwj was like 16?) Wwx lives in another city but he spent around a year in cloud recesses with lwj in the past. And wwx yanli and jc visits cloud recesses again and wangxian gets 2gether

~*~

[My ko-fi.]

[ryuichirou]

Lord God Savior of All Ryu, I ask for but one noble request. lol i just wanna see all your AUs. Like, I always here about them in replies and stuff but I've almost never seen what they actually look like. So if you could just tag pics of them or doodle (they can be super bad 30 sec doodles too, it don't matter to me) them, I would be the happiest, most joyful little shit ever.

Anon!! Thank you for being so interested in our AUs and wanting to learn more about them. It was a very good excuse for us to go through the list of the AUs, doodle them, revisit some of the older ones, etc. So yeah, your wish is granted lol

Here’s the majority of them, we decided not to include those that we’ve barely talked about and thought out... I’ve put tags for those AUs where we have at least something posted. Most of them are something we haven’t even talked about at all and they don’t have a single sketch, but I liked drawing chibis for them way too much. Sorry, I used your ask lol

We have a general tag for our aus and specific ones for some of them, but sometimes an au from here is not tagged separately, so you might have to use this general tag...I tried to fix it, I don’t think I missed anything, so it should be ok now! ;w;

1. Space AU. It’s a story about a space expedition.. which turned out to be not exactly what everyone planned thanks to Erwin. What a commander! 

2. Tribal AU. It’s a story about Eren becoming a part of the tribe where Erwin and Levi live. 

3. Babysitter AU. Levi is a babysitter to Eren and Zeke, unfortunately for Zeke, who’s 17 and not exactly thrilled about being babied. Sometimes there’s kid Erwin too. We’ve never posted anything related to this AU, I think, and I don’t think we will. There’s another AU related to this one, but 19yo Eren from the paths (he has the memory of the manga events) keeps kid Eren company as an invisible ghost, while others think that kid Eren is cursed or something.

4. SnK AU. A classical one, where Eren has dreams about the plot of SnK, but when the story stops progressing, he decides to kidnap Levi to make the plot go on. Erwin finds out later... and keeps Levi in the basement because he wants to know the ending too lmao plus it’s hot.

5. Mines AU. Erwin gathered a team for his wonderful plan to find a treasure, but it’s not like the rest of the team needs to know where they’re really going. Zeke’s particularly terrified to find that out. Despite its name, they spend the majority of time in the forest. Also, there’s a timeskip of 11 years. 

6. AU with Neetwin who’s a history teacher. We don’t tag this one though, it’s not like it’s our AU. So now it’s a Neetwin tag, although one of the drawings is with adult Levi... eh, who cares. 

7. CC AU (cleaning company). Levi works in a cleaning company and cleans up Neetwin and hobo Eren’s apts. They need a lot of work. Yes, they make their apts even dirtier to make Levi spend more time there. 

8. Prison AU. Damn this one is good... we came up with it before reading the timeskip in the manga, so Eren’s appearance doesn’t really match his age, he’s 17 lol Levi is a mafia member who goes to prison because he need to kill one of the inmates (who later became Zeke) on Erwin’s (Levi’s boss) request. Eren’s his personal guard, although Eren works as a regular guard too.

9. King Kong AU. It’s an AU where the Beast Titan is King Kong lmao Zeke is having fun killing dinosaurs... Levi, not so much. Thank Erwin for his wonderful plan of going to this island.

10. Rus AU, basically just characters living in Russia. Because ofc we will have this type of a setting... Damn, I thought we drew this one more often, huh. 

11. Sea AU. Mainly our modern AU, we use it as a base for other modern stuff for the most part. Levi’s getting two boifrond rings, he lives with Erwin, Eren visits them often, Zeke bitches a lot, fun times with and without Zeke, stuff like that. There’s also a subplot (11.5) where Eren gets “kidnapped” by a witch, so Zevi have to find him and bring him back. Titans exist in this AU, Eren and Zeke are titans, and all of them have military training, but Erwin and Levi retired some time ago. We don’t have a tag for just a modern setting, though. 

12. Cult AU. Eren lives on a farm and has a whole village of his followers. He also has cursed animals... and I think we’ve told about some of the plot points in replies. Erwin’s really into all this cult stuff because it affects reality for real, so he asks Levi to follow rituals, although Levi came to ask Eren to go back to normal life and finish the fucking school. 

13. Serial killer AU. Eren’s a serial killer, duh. Never posted anything with this one, unfortunately, but Eren got disappointed in the police when he was a child, so he decided to fix the situation himself, while Erwin and Levi, as a part of a special department, investigate his “fixing”. It also has a time skip. I really need to redraw at least one sketch...

14. Hospital AU. Levi gets into Marley trying to make Eren go back, but it’s not that simple because Eren doesn’t want to lol Basically canonverse with this small change.

15. Hobo AU. Eren and Levi are hobos, Zeke wants his brother to stop living under a fucking bridge. Later Erwin takes both of them under his roof because he really likes Levi, but he can’t leave Eren alone.

16. Doggies AU. AU where Eren’s a wolf and Erwin’s a doggo. Levi got Erwin because he was a retiring trained dog and sniffed enough drugs in his life, and Eren... his “owner” found him on the streets and lied to Levi about Eren being a dog. Later Eren turned into a magnificent beast and now he doesn’t want to leave. There’s also Zeke, but he belongs to Xavier. 

17. AU where Eren wants to become a mangaka. The first post is self-explanatory, although I’d probably make some changes now if I cared enough. There’s also a time skip where Eren ditched his manga and became hobo!Eren. His editor was pissed lol 

18. Scolopendra Eren AU. You know the drill, and I’ve talked about the plot in some of the replies. 

This post doesn’t show up on the tag for some reason.

19. Ghost Eren AU. I should’ve named it combini AU... Anyway, I’ve talked about this one a lot, although poor Erwin gets neglected a little bit lol it’s hard to compete with a ghost when you’re just a mere stalker... but a very invested one. Eren likes Erwin here, they’re vibing on the same malicious-towards-Levi wave. 

20. Shark Eren AU. It’s just for us for funs, Eren’s a shark, and Levi’s there to help him fight depression. Eren later escapes into the sea.

21. Midsommar AU. Levi and Erwin get an invite to go to the village from Yelena, Eren’s a part of a cult who is kinda attracted to one of the newcomers... Such a good movie, we need to draw them properly. Both Yeagerists and Eldians are a part of the cult, they don’t have any specific rules by which I categorised them... Although not all characters are present, and some of them (Jean, I think) are newcomers who will join the cult later. Sorry, I don’t remember much. 

22. Silent Hill AU. It started with Erwin peeking into Levi’s apartment, but now there’s Eren too... We haven’t thought out this one, I’m bad with Silent Hill AUs for some reason. 

23. House Eren AU. Eren’s a house, and we’ve explained how it works too, so just check out the tag. Levi actually lives there with Erwin, but I don’t remember if we’ve mentioned it or decided to skip this info. 

24. Eren pack AU. It’s an AU where Erens of all ages (6 of them, I believe) are a little bit feral, and they have wolf ears and tails, and they live in a specific place and Levi visits them every day and takes care of them. They love Levi. Here’s the only post that survived, and here’s a link for a twitter post which I never got back on tumblr after it got deleted. 

25. Trailer AU. The story is about Levi who has to live with Zeke for a month as his slave because Erwin lost him in a game of cards lol To be fair, Erwin lost a lot of money and their whole flat, and Zeke gave them a choice between that and Levi (he’s horny ok), and Levi agreed. Zeke even put Levi on a chain, although Levi doesn’t even try to escape...

26. Flower shop AU. Eren’s a plant, and he brings death to the whole planet. He keeps Levi alive though, as a treat for himself. We’ve explained some of the stuff in the replies. 

27. Blair Witch AU. It’s pretty much explained in this post, and if you saw the movie, there’s nothing for me to tell you. Everything that’s different from it is in the post lol 

28. Corpse AU. Eren’s a corpse, Levi’s a pathologist who works on difficult and mysterious cases alongside the police. Eren later comes to life along with a couple of other bodies...

29. Antichrist AU. Zevi adopt baby Eren, but Eren’s a fucking satan. He loves Levi, but Zeke... not so much. Zeke loves Eren to death, though. Eren would love to organise that, but first he needs to grow up a little bit. It doesn’t mean that he won’t torture his parents during his journey. And everyone else who interact with them.

30. This one doesn’t have a title, but it’s an AU where kid Eren went missing, and Levi goes into the forest to find him. Levi owns Erwin who’s a good doggo and helps him find Eren. It turns out Eren killed two adult dudes, and he has paths!Eren telling him what to do and how to do it... Paths!Eren has the memory of the canonverse.

31. Zombie apocalypse AU. There’s only one drawing with it though, but basically Levi builds himself a wonderful place to survive the apocalypse, and he keeps Zombie Erwin in the basement in hopes of Hange finding a cure. Then Eren joins just because he can and because Levi’s very awesome. Eren has a boner for the apocalypse and enjoys every second of it. 

32. No title, but Eren was casted away from the canon universe for the rumbling, and now he’s a mythological giant wolf who lives in a deep very old forest. He was very surprised to find out Levi exists in this universe... So he kidnapped him ❤️

33. Halloween AU. You’ve seen this one, it’s a story where Jean, Connie, Sasha and Eren get into the wrong house and find a ritual instead of a Halloween party... So after saving the child who, as it turns out, is not really a victim, they decide to ditch him at Eruri’s place.

34. Okusan AU. Levi’s a housewife, Erwin is a cuckold who’s really into adultery. He invites both Zeke and Eren from time to time to act as Levi’s husbands, and they (Levi and Erwin) almost get caught because the “husband” suddenly came home... Sorry, we’ve read too many doujinshis lol

35. Island AU. Erwin loves sending Levi to dangerous places to get souvenirs for himself, and now it’s time for Levi to get a crystal from a very isolated island full of strict rules in terms of interacting with outsiders. We have a cool idea for a two part drawing (like with our flower shop au), but it’ll take us ages to complete anything at this rate... I have like two sketches on Patreon for now, but damn this AU has so many cool visuals we wanna draw... It’s another cult AU with people living on Paradis (more like one village in the middle of the island), isolated from the rest of the world. They don’t welcome strangers, and Levi has three months to find and steal that crystal, although it’s not that simple.

36. Erewan. Not exactly a full AU, but Erewan’s a cursed animal plushie who kills people and loves Levi a lot. 

37. Cat AU. Everyone’s a cat (duh). Not really our AU, but it has its own tag, and it’s only asks. 

38. Tiny founder Eren AU?? Again, not really our AU, but now it has its own tag. 

I’ve also found the reply where I talk about how characters’ relationships work in some of the AUs, you can check it out too. I thought it was fitting for a master post. 

[whattheheehaw]

Hi! I’m sorry you’re getting shitty anons about this and you’re probably sick of it so I apologise for asking this but I’m genuinely curious what made you start actively disliking zutara? Like, considering how much excellent and insightful content/meta you yourself used to make/write? I get that interests change over time and you’re totally valid!! the anons sending you hate over it are really dumb, but if you’d be ok with sharing, I’d be really interested in hearing why you’ve done almost a complete 180 on the ship? Was is just burnout/end of a hyper-obsession? Or was it some of us in the rest of the fandom that turned you off? Or was it even something about the ship/characters themselves that you changed your mind about? xx

In short, it was a combination of burnout, dissatisfaction with fandom, and disappointment in myself that caused my disinterest for Zvtara.

I got asks similar to this one a couple of times before, but I never gave a comprehensive answer, mainly because I didn't know how to articulate my reasons why I don't like it anymore. But now that I've been out of ZK fandom for a month and have had some time to reflect, I think I can give a much more thorough response. Beware, this is long and I heavily critique the Zvtara fandom, so if you're a ZK shipper, keep reading at your own risk.

My first minor annoyance with Zvtara is that the fandom has a tendency to idolize certain fics and creators. And while there’s certainly nothing inherently wrong about that, I feel like the Zvtara fandom does it to such an extent that it influences the type of content that content creators make in order to get recognition. And to illustrate my point, I’m going to talk about one of the most famous Zvtara fics of all time: Once Around The Sun by eleventy7.

Don’t get me wrong, I love OATS. I think it’s a great fanfic and I think the author devoted a lot of time and effort to make it such an excellent fic. The plot, the development of the characters and their relationships to one other, and the messages about family and love were all brilliantly written. I mean, there is a reason why it’s regarded as the “Zvtara Bible”. This one fanfic had such a profound impact upon the ZK fandom, and I think the biggest impact that came from it is the dramatic influx of post-war Zvtara AU fanfiction. 

Because so many people kept reading OATS and recommending it to others, I think there was an overall interest in ZK fics that take place in a post-war setting. And I think that all of the high praise towards OATS made more fic writers start to write post-war fanfics because of this demand for post-war AU.* I normally wouldn't complain about it because more content is more content, but in my opinion, 99% of ZK post-war fics are the same fic but in different fonts.

Like, there's at least 3 of these elements in every ZK post-war fanfic:

Ambassador Katara

An assassination attempt (usually on Zuko's life)

A healing scene between Zuko and Katara (usually Katara heals Zuko)

Aang and/or Mai is pushed to the side or vilified to some extent in order to make ZK happen

A private journey between Zuko and Katara to facilitate #6

S L O W B U R N (that's not really slowburn and more like "I love you and I very much want to be vocal about my feelings but #7 is in this fic" but the love story takes up like 30 chapters so I guess it's a slowburn?)

Zuko's advisers don't want him to get married to Katara because ✨racism✨

Ursa is found

Azula is in the fic because a) she's going to get a healing arc ft. Zuko and Katara and thereby helps them get together or b) she's the villain and thereby helps them get together

ZK wedding happens in the FN

After reading multiple post-war fics back to back, I could tell that the format was pretty much the same across the board, which isn't very interesting for me to read. My only other fic options in the Zvtara tag on AO3 are canon divergence fics which almost always take place during The Crossroads of Destiny or after The Southern Raiders. And to some extent, those stories are pretty much the same too. There's nothing really new or creative going on in the ZK fandom fic-wise, and because of that, my interest in ZK fandom started to dwindle.

My second issue with Zvtara is that it's a very old ship from a very old show. Because there's been 10+ years since the end of A:TLA, every nuanced point about shipping and the show itself have been talked to death.** There's just nothing new to say. It's the same arguments being rehashed over and over again in the tag because there's no other interpretation one can come up with.

For example, there's so many people who talk about why Zvtara as depicted in The Southern Raiders is not toxic and that's great and all, but I (and most likely many others) have read those same points about five times already. And for some reason, each time this happens, people act like someone just discovered the lost city of Atlantis when they bring up their new-but-not-new argument in defense of Zvtara. Honestly, I'm ashamed to say that I'm not exempt from being part of the group of people that reiterate old arguments. I've done it with one of my posts about The Southern Raiders and I've done it again with my Zutara/Omashu parallels post.

There's no new content to really dissect and analyze (especially considering Zuko and Katara are rarely in the same panel in any of the post-war comics), and because of this, people are just restating points that someone else made several years ago.*** And even if someone did have a different interpretation of an episode, their ideas would most likely be shut down because for the past several years, the same interpretation has been recycled through the fandom repeatedly and people are resistant to new perspectives.

This brings me to the third thing that I dislike about Zvtara: the insistence that there can only be one way to interpret The Southern Raiders. For the longest time, I've read take after take that said if Katara decided to kill Yon Rha, it would be ok because that's her grief to deal with and if she thinks that's the best way to mete out justice, then good for her. And again, I'm ashamed to say that I perpetuated that idea in a few of my own posts. I have always thought that "Katara killing Yon Rha is ok" is just a bad take in general, but I didn't want to vocalize that opinion when so many people—so many of the nice mutuals that I made—all shared that same opinion. Taking down a popular opinion of your own ship is completely different from taking down a popular opinion of a ship that you dislike. The Zvtara fandom is the first fandom that I was actually active in and I wanted to fit in so badly with everyone else that I just parroted whatever other people said, even if I didn't agree with those sentiments.

This leads me to my final reason why I don't want to be a part of ZK fandom anymore. I think I established myself as a "meta" person pretty early on and because of that, I constantly felt pressured to come up with new takes on the ship. And when people started flooding my ask box with stuff like "Can you write a meta about your thoughts on the idea that 'Zuko only took Katara on that field trip in TSR because he wanted her to forgive him'?" and "What are your thoughts about antis saying Zuko and Katara are toxic because of TSR?", I realized that I don't need to come up with new takes. People just want me to paraphrase something that 10 other people said about the same exact topic, because if I said what I actually thought about the subject (i.e. there is some truth in what antis say about TSR and it's not as much of a "Zvtara episode" that most people make it out to be), I'd probably get ZK shippers in the replies telling me that I'm wrong because x, y, and z or "you shouldn't tag this as Zvtara".

And that was pretty much how my love for ZK turned into disinterest. I was and still am disappointed that I didn't stick to my personal opinions. For as much as I talk about herd mentality on Twitter, I certainly don't practice what I preach. In all honesty, the only reason why I held on so long to ZK fandom was because I had so many nice mutuals there and we all shared this collective distaste for antis. I think I started to become more anti-Zvkka and anti-Kataang than pro-Zvtara, which isn't what I wanted to do when I made this Tumblr blog.

The thing that made me joke about becoming anti-Zvtara was the fact that some ZK shippers just like to send shitty anons to people whom they've reblogged countless different metas from. Sending shitty anons to people in the first place is wrong, but sending them to people who tagged their posts correctly and did nothing wrong is just disgusting.

*I'm not a fic writer and can't speak for fic writers, but it definitely feels like a lot of ZK fic authors are pushing themselves to write the next OATS, and by doing so, they are proliferating the tag with post-war fics that have very similar aspects to OATS.

**I think that as more people point out the same nuanced points about Zvtara, it diminishes the actual significance of those points. Like, it's hard to explain but the more people talk about the subtleties of the ship, the more those parts become glaringly obvious and I become numb to their actual impact on the characters and the show.

***At this point, if someone wanted to make a new argument about Zvtara, I think they would have to look very closely at every little detail in every single one of their scenes together to find a crumb of new meta material. And speaking from experience, it's not very fun trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Whenever I post a "meta" like that, I feel like I'm reaching to make a point that doesn't exist.

[trutimeline]

idislikecispeople, The Most Infamous Dyscourse Blogger: Part 1.0, Rumors

idislikecispeople, also known as many names throughout her time on Tumblr (such as Adele, Kat, Mami, Samantha and Sayaka), was a former Tumblr blogger who became infamous for coining the term "tucute", among many other controversial things she has posted on her blogs. This was supposed to be one, very long masterpost about her, but Tumblr's post editor is a bitch and won't let me do that.

In this post, I'll be debunking or confirming rumors commonly spread about idislikecispeople. The rest of my posts about her will each be dedicated to a specific controversial belief she held or situations she got into. For simplicity's sake, I'll be referring to idislikecispeople as Kat for the rest of this post and future ones.

Rumors

Kat Coined the Terms "Truscum" and "Tucute"

Verdict: Partially True

Kat coined the term tucute, but she did not coin the terms truscum or transmedicalist.

Here's a screenshot of Kat's original definition of a tucute:

Transcript:

What is Tucute?

What does tucute mean?

Tucute is basically just the opposite of truscum, it’s a term and community for trans, nonbinary, and/or non-cis individuals created to separate anti-truscum from truscum and to serve as a safe place from truscum and from cis people, where they believe that being trans requires dysphoria, we do not,where they think that being trans is a medical condition, we do not,and where they deny numerous gender identities on the basis that it “discredits the trans community” we do not.

What are the prerequisites to be a part of the tucute community?

You have to be trans, nonbinary, and/or non-cis in general

You have to accept all pronouns and gender identities

You haveto believe that dysphoria is not necessary to be trans

You have to dislike truscum

You cannot side with truscum or believe in their ideology

You cannot misgender anyone no matter how mad they make you

You cannot be an ableist whatsoever

Did you invent the tucute community? Why?

I indeed did coin the tucute term and community and anyone who says otherwise are creeps who are trying to steal it from me and redefine it for their own nefarious doings. I started this community so anti-truscum could separate themselves from truscum and cis people who are a part of the truscum community, it serves as a safe space from both truscum and cis people.

I’m cis, can I be tucute if I believe in your movement and want to help?

No, you can’t be tucute if you’re cis, you can only be a tucute ally, and you need to be sure to never speak for or over a trans person.

I see a lot of tucuties being just as harmful as truscum, what will you do about it?

There isn’t much I can do to them other than ask them to stop aligning with the tucute community, and of course, that doesn’t mean they will. Also be noted that truscum and cis people will pretend to be tucute just to tarnish the name of the tucute community, so tread lightly, you might be talking to a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Spread the word, use the tag #tucute and join the army today!

[A digital drawing of Sayaka Miki from Puella Magi Madoka Magica in her magical girl form, with a banner underneath her reading "Tucute 4 U!"]

(source) (source)

Kat Was a Cisgender Woman Who Lied About Being a Transgender Woman

Verdict: False

This rumor primarily comes from a post on Kat's oldest known Tumblr blog, chromaghost, where she claims that she wasn't MTF and only tagged a selfie as such because she thought that transgender people were "cool".

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: are you a mtf? i seen it tagged on one of your photos.

No lol. I wanted to post it to the tag because transgender people are cool :3

(source) (source) (source)

However, Kat addressed this post and made it clear she very much was a transgender woman multiple times on her later blogs. This claim can also be confirmed with nude photos Kat posted online, which I don't feel comfortable spreading, so you'll just have to trust me on that one. I also don't feel comfortable directly encouraging you to go and dig up those nudes, as most of her nude photos were either taken when she was a minor, spread without her consent and/or were uploaded because people pressured her into posting nudes to "prove" she was a transgender woman.

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: you bound with ace bandage in one of your selfies. i don't know what to think about you anymore. according to some people you're a 27 year old cis woman scamming us, but you say you're a 22 year old trans woman. i want to trust you but i don't know if i can. i'm sorry.

Rest assured I’m not 27 years old lol. What you’re referring to is a less than graceful ~art piece~ we did (”Playing a Boy” or something) on deviantART when we were 16/17 (?) and really ill-informed. I ask you to not take that as how I stand currently – as I have learned so much more since, and I have a penis and I was designated male at birth because of it (feel free to purchase a passcode to our nsfw blog to see for yourself). At the time we were developing breast tissue but still had to appear as a ‘boy.’ Don’t bind with Ace bandages, kids, it can damage your rib cage, something we didn’t know at the time.

(source) (source)

Transcript:

[A picture of two prescriptions, estradiol and spironolactone, both prescribed to Adele Sheffield.]

grandtran still gonna think I photoshopped it or what

(source)

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: In other words, you aren't gonna cough up the pics because you know you can't fake that shit because you're actually cis. Cool. BTW why do you keep changing your story about the blog, and if the blog was run by you when you were in denial about being trans because of self hate, why were the pics tagged mtf and you were constantly saying trans people were cool?

Yeah I’m not gonna do something for y’all and get nothing in return except more doubt from you, you see how one sided that kind of request is? Also its technically considered sexual harassment, just because its on the internet, you’re a coward (whats your username btw?), and you think I’m cis and you want me to prove time and time again to you that I’m dmab doesn’t justify sexually soliciting someone when they’re not comfortable in being solicited – for free no less.

At first I genuinely had no memory of that blog, it was only active for all of 2 months and for some reason I moved onto a new email and new tumblr, and I haven’t the foggiest why. As for the whole “me claiming to not be ~mtf~” I don’t have any memories from that time, I can only assume it was a lot of dysphoria fueled self-hatred and wanting to be seen/pass as a cis girl lesbian.

If you’re really gonna solicit nudes from a trans woman (a second time) as they do sex work to try and stay on their feet without offering anything in return just so your transmisogynistic ass can get off to trying to tell me my dick is fake isn’t classy at all. I perish the thought of what you’re parents would think of this behavior from you. But yeah, feel free to send some money to my paypal so I can get the gender markers on my records changed because that’s gonna cost a lot apparently, and I’ll definitely send you the dick pics you want. :)

(source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

[A picture of a a hospital bracelet on Kat's wrist. The patient's name is Adele Sheffield and her sex is labeled as "M".]

(source)

Kat Lied About Having Diabetes To Get Money From Tumblr Users

Verdict: False

This doesn't need much commentary from me, just view the screenshots below.

Transcript:

To the people who keep harping on me buying a $15 video game for my mental health 7 MONTHS ago “with my donation money,” well, here you go, some proof, links and screenshots provided

So for everyone spreading misinformation about me spending $15 on a video game for my mental health, here’s a full list of reasons why there is no way, shape, or form I spent my paypal money on it:

Yes, I spent $15 of my own money after selling one of my possessions, not denying it:

[A screenshot of a Tumblr post by Kat where she shows off a copy of Fall Out: New Vegas, marked with a price of $14.99. The date of the post is marked as July 21, 2014 at 06:28.39 PM.]

Be sure to look at the date, July 21st, 2014 6:28 PM. Now lets look at my first donation post asking for help:

[A screenshot of a Tumblr post by Kat where she asks for donations to be able to afford insulin because she has no insurance. The date of the post is marked as July 20, 2014 at 08:14.00 PM.]

Hmm, one day before the purchase of said game, July 20th 2014 at 8:14 PM. Now, I’ve never heard of a video game store — much less a non-chain video game store accepting payment for video games in the form of virtual Amazon gift cards, have you? Oh, but you’re gonna say, “well you bought the game with your paypal donations anyway!” Well, here’s exhibit C:

[Another screenshot of a separate post made by Kat where she is also asking for donations to be able to afford insulin. The date of the post is marked as July 23, 2014 at 12:27.46 PM.]

Again, looking at the date of this posting which is the original donations post, you can see it was posted on July 23rd, 2014 at 12:27 PM, a full 2 days after I had bought the game. Now, if there’s no way for me to use Amazon gift cards for a real life video game store, then how can I go back in time a minimum of 2 full days to give past me $15 to buy said game, hm? This isn’t even accounting for the fact that I didn’t even have my own bank account associated with it until over a week later, and it surely doesn’t account for the fact that it takes up to 5 days to transfer from paypal to your bank account. All the dates are linked to the original unedited posts so you can see for yourself, and for added measure my first deposit was on August 14th, 2014:

[A screenshot of a deposit made by Kat. The date is marked as 08/14/14.]

Oh but yeah, anti-sjs, truscum, and the like took damniwishidthoughtofabettername’s postthey used to gaslight us with misinformation and you all bought it. Tell me how I could misuse donations that I could not use outside of Amazon and money I didn’t even start receiving until a full two days later, let alone the fact that there’s no way I could have transferred said money and used it two days prior as of the date of the paypal donations post.

I hope some of y’all could reblog this and get the word out, I’m sick and tired of people buying into that misinformation that person did solely to gaslight me as a means to try and disrupt my donations drive.

(source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

[A selfie of Kat holding up a vial of Novolin to the camera.]

Hey anon, I don’t feel comfy giving you my receipts (because doxxing is a thing) but here you go, a selfie with my most recent insulin purchase. 👽

(source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: Getting desperate for money again I see. How is your fake diabetes lately. I bet your blood sugar is like 800 this time and you're still able to be alive somehow.

You got me, I’m ~totally faking~

[A selfie of Kat. In the background several items used by diabetics are seen such as insulin syringes, glucose tablets, a blood sugar tester and test strips.]

[A picture that gives us a closer look at the background of the previous selfie.]

[A selfie of Kat holding up two vials, one of Lantus and the other of Humalog.]

Gee, must be one dedicated faker, right? To have hundreds of dollars of insulin equipment and insulin itself. Hmmm… Insulin syringes, glucose tablets, a blood sugar tester and test strips.. oh and insulin, hmmmm….

Oh and because you didn’t learn from last time you don’t die instantly when your blood sugar goes over 600 lol, something anyone who studies endocrinology can tell you, and I would know, being a diabetic, having to be hospitalized numerous times for ketoacidosis where the blood sugar has been too high for too long. Things you clearly do not know and you’re just jumping on the disableist bandwagon. I have an idea of who you are anyway, just doing this for future reference.

(source)

[archive-of-the-guild]

 Character Bio and rules are below the line

You can call me Shadow. i’m a 28yo male that hasn’t rped in years. Last time i did was i think 3 maybe 4 years ago so i am plenty rusty. I know this doesn’t say a lot about me but if there’s anything you’d like to know, just ask.

About Karisa

Name: Karisa

Race: Tiefling: A Humanoid people descended from humans who made pacts or crossbred with demons.

Age: 18

Height: 6'3"

Hair color: black

Occupation: Golemancer, Adventurer, occasional Blacksmith

Appearance: As a tiefling, Karisa has several traits that distinguishes her from Humans. She has Lavender colored skin, ice blue eyes, two horns, pointed ears, and a 4 foot long tail.

Personality: When it comes to enemies, Karisa can be downright ruthless. if she hates them bad enough, she will leave an enemy broken but alive to let them try again. She swears a LOT around everyone no matter who they are with the exception of children and has a habit of making enemies through her mannerisms. She’s bad enough with her words that there have been jokes made about weaponizing her lexicon and isn’t afraid to cuss out friends! BUT if you can take her words with a grain of salt and actually befriend her, then no matter what she says to you, she will protect you with her life. In her words, “You may be a cunt, but you’re MY cunt. And no one FUCKS with my cunt!”

Background:

Karisa was born on a small farm and raised by her parents until she reached the age of 8 when they passed away. Since then she would delve into golemancy as a way to cope, keeping her hands busy and moving foreword as best as she can. This is around the time she found the large crystal that would become Grom’s core. At the age of 10, she made her way to the city with her golem Grom, who was wood at the time, to try and become an adventurer. There she met the Dwarf Bormi who gave her a place to stay and taught her in the ways of the blacksmith.

Modern Verse (Hazbin Verse rewrite):

Karisa is Tiefling who was born into an organization known as The Adventurer’s Guild. The purpose of this organization is to deal with supernatural threats to society as a whole by hunting down creatures, artifacts, books, and other things that could pose a danger. If it can’t be recruited, it is to be either destroyed or relocated. People of course know about them but there is a general distrust of the organization due to their habit of employing non-humans and the Guild’s use of magic.

When it comes to the forces of Heaven and Hell, the Guild was able to get their hands on a blueprint for portal technology. The portal they have doesn’t always work and sometimes accesses realms other than Heaven or Hell. This can have a tendency to get adventurers stuck in realms outside of earth.

Skills-

Golemancy: Throughout her life, Karisa has made a variety of golems. These golems can me made from just about any solid material if given enough time. Golems made from metal, stone, wood, and even flesh are within her area of expertise. Her favorite golem is an 8 foot tall minotaur automaton she named Grom.

Cooking: Karisa LOVES to cook. She’s always experimenting with different dishes and creating a few of her own.

Basic Martial Arts: Since she turned 13, Karisa has trained with a quarterstaff and dagger so that if her golems failed, she could still take care of herself.

Magic: In addition to Golemancy, she has a small arsenal of spells at her disposal.

Fire Spells: All Tieflings are capable of fire magic. Fireball, Burning Hands, and Firewall to name a few. Using fire helps her a lot if she has to weld parts together on a golem.

Lightning Spells: Karisa can perform rudimentary lightning spells but this mostly equates to coating her hand in electricity to use. The strength of this can range from the power of a normal stun gun to enough power to jumpstart a city’s electrical grid.

3D Movement: This is a form of wind magic that allows her to “kick” the air. by doing this, Karisa can give off the impression that she is flying. This does not mean she stays in the air, only that she can move in it. she usually only uses this to get over walls or cliffs or maybe to get into a tree.

Empathy Link: This is something she originally learned in order to better deal with golems in order to find out what their orders are. it can be used on other creatures and objects to get a kind of idea of either how they are feeling or how they are used. She MUST make contact with the palm of her hand for this to work.

Golem Creation: As a golemancer, Karisa carries a number of golem cores on her at all times. These cores can often be infused into whatever matter she chooses to create a quick golem in the field. These golems aren’t as effective as one she has time to prepare but they get the job done. Golem cores are also extremely volatile! Damaging a core will cause any magic in it to go haywire and explode in relation to the core’s size. This makes golems and their cores effective bombs if she needs to!

Golem Override: This is a skill that allows Karisa to manually control her golems and see through their eyes. HOWEVER this is only a last resort because it leaves her immobile and defenseless. 

Please send Karisa questions and asks either from yourself or your characters! i will fill this out as i go!

Rules

1: i am all for fight scenes and such but please do not god-mod. meaning do not assume what happens to my character. (EX: “My character fires a gun and hits your character in the shoulder.” or “Your character tried to dodge but my character cuts off their arm before they can.”) In my responses, i’ve taken to rolling a dice to determine whether or not my character gets hit and how badly she gets hit. I do not mind my character dying in a particular thread so long as it is discussed at length beforehand and is necessary for the development of the plot. communication is key for stuff like this.

2: Don’t send hate. I don’t mind criticizing because it helps me reflect on how i’m doing. Hate is just a dick move though.

3: I reserve the right to choose whether or not i rp or answer an ask. There will be times that i don’t have the inspiration or motivation to continue it or there is not enough for me to go on. An example of this would be if i responded to an rp and the response i get back is “Character ducks.” or something as equally short.

4: I don’t mind reminders but i DO mind spamming. I will mostly be rping either on the weekends or some afternoons when i can get up the motivation. DO NOT spam me reminders every day or every other day. I have a 5 month old son and a job that has me working monday to thursday with the occasional friday up to 12 hours a day. Those come first.

5: You will see a lot of stuff on here that i will do my best to tag from gore to n//s//f//w// threads. If there is anything in particular you would like me to tag when it shows up, please let me know! Anything truly spicy will placed uner a read more and tagged as “Read at your own Risk!::NSFPC” (nsfpc stands for not safe for public consumption.

6: While i accept starters, memes, questions and comments through asks, starters and starter memes WILL be turned into a post to start a thread. I will not rp through constant asks because this can lead to more dash clutter than the post will. That being said, i will trim the post before it gets too long and will try to have any appropriate tags on it.

7: THERE WILL BE LOTS AND LOTS OF SWEARING! Enough that i will not be tagging it because it is everywhere! I will not tone down her swearing except around child muses because this is part of her character and i ask that you please understand.

8: When it comes to shipping, Karisa will make things fairly clear on whether or not she wants to be with your character. I love shipping but i also know that not everyone will ship their characters with Karisa and that's perfectly fine! Karisa WILL flirt and get touchy with people she's interested in but if the mun or character they are controlling doesn't want that, TELL HER! Not me. HER. Have your character reject her advances, tell her "no" or even smack the shit out of her if she gets too handsy! I will not be upset and i will completely understand! A lot of people plan ships out and tell others there has to be chemistry, but as I'm thinking about it, im going to be removing that little section from my rules. Why? Because failed ships have the potential to create drama, angst, and even enemies if done properly! If she comes onto a character and it makes you uncomfortable or you're just not interested, EXPRESS IT THROUGH YOUR CHARACTER! The same will apply to her! The only time i will have any sort of problem is if she says no, gets into a fight, and you try to godmod it to your liking or try to guilt ME about it. My character makes up her own mind about how to do things just like yours.

I may add more rules as time goes on but it’s pretty straightforward. Don’t be afraid to come and talk to me! I’m pretty open about things and i would love to see you around! Come and join me on discord for more Mun stuff! Just make sure you edit your name to match your tumblr url so i know who you are please! https://discord.gg/6ftZuSP8XH 

[microsuedemouse]

I was tagged by @izupie to list my top seven comfort movies! (or at least, I assume I was - my notifications tell me she tagged me in a reply to her own post but tumblr will not show me that reply SO.) anyway it's a fun tag so I'm doing it hehehe

in no particular order, since I'm bad at ranking these things--

1. Pitch Perfect (2012) This movie is, like most of my comfort movies, a certain amount of objectively silly. But it's also fun, and performance-based movies are a good time!! Also, 2012 is the year that I graduated high school, and I subsequently took a year off before starting university - a year which, despite my best efforts, was really tough. Pitch Perfect kept me company through a few really rough months that year, and it's dear to my heart for that reason.

2. Castle in the Sky (1986) One of my first Studio Ghibli movies after @fiveandcountry introduced me to Spirited Away back in middle school. There are a lot of Ghibli films I can never get tired of, but something about this one is just such a balm for me. Pazu and Sheeta are such a sweet pair, and Dola and her gang are so delightful - everything about the movie just makes me really happy. It's like a cosy, familiar blanket.

3. We Bought A Zoo (2011) I'll be honest. A lot about this movie is pretty goofy. Which is why @hairandbrokenglasses started a whole podcast about it (forgive me for the plug, but I promise Zach is very funny). But it's also a good, uncomplicated, heartwarming watch - plus I really enjoy a lot of the cast! Matt Damon, Thomas Haden Church, Angus Macfadyen, all of the kids, and then some. Also, tigers.

4. Clueless (1995) I watched this movie for the first time just a few years ago, but it's just. Fun. It's lighthearted, it pokes fun at privileged naivete while still making the characters super likeable, it's incredibly easy to watch when you're burnt-out or down in the dumps... a really good cheer-me-up kinda film.

5. Promare (2019) God, I love this film. I really do. Its plot is essentially nothing at all and I don't even care. It's an absolute TREAT for the eyes, the soundtrack fucking rules, the characters are all super entertaining, and it is undeniably (if not really explicitly) gay. It's just so much FUN - I know I keep saying that but I guess that's just what I want from my comfort movies!

6. Penelope (2006) One of my favourite movies in general - everything about it is just so, so delightful. It's a modern-day fairy tale with a totally kick-ass cast, a completely charming romance, and a wonderful theme of self-love and fully accepting yourself and your loved ones for everything that [you/they] are. The number of familiar faces will genuinely keep surprising you as the movie goes on, and the humour is on point all the way through.

7. Dragonheart (1996) Genuinely just my all-time favourite movie, and it has been since before I can even remember. I don't know when my parents first showed it to me but it's been with me forever and very fundamentally shaped me as a person, lmao. I love this movie wholeheartedly - it feels like home. And it's good for a nice cathartic cry, too. It's just so, so close to my heart.

I'm gonna taaaag... @midnight-owlie @suzirya @serenabeanie @stevetwisp ☀️

[amonthguessw1]

Holy shit tumblr you never notified me of this you prick!!! @soy-chiara tagged on this ask game I don't know how long ago and found it on accident while scrolling through her blog god I'm so sorry ajsjsjajsjs

Ok let's begin

Why did you choose your url?

It's a super dumb pun I came up with to replace my old nickname, my url says "I'm a Month Guess Which One" and my name is April, like the month.

Do you get it? (It's so stupid but I love it now)

2. Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

Just one, @imamonthguessw2 (it had a different name before) that I used as my main WITHOUT realizing it wasn't for literal years. I plan on deleting it since it's useless to keep but I always forget

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

I joined around my second year of secondary so I've been here for 4 years I believe?? Since 2017

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Gotta be honest I never knew what queue ment and I had to look it up just for this and the answer is no, I post whenever my braincells feel chatty

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Ok this has a story. So in 2017 I started reading Homestuck and found this artist that had a lot of cool drawings and comics!! (I don't remember their name but they moved out of that fandom a while ago) but they mainly used tumblr to post all their art. They also made fanart of a lot of the shows I liked at the time like Voltron and Steven Universe, so I eventually made an account to keep track of everything, ended up following a bunch of other people and never left this hellsite (affectionate <3)

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It's a self portrait and the best one I ever made or ever will.

7. Why did you choose your header?

It's a collage I made some years ago and I still really like it!! Speacially the colors <3

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

Probably the one where I talk about taz eathersea and say ppl shouldn't be mean to travis bc of his campaign?? It has more than 200 notes, it's not much but it's more than the rest of my things. Other than that my nitw fanart has a 100 and something.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Idk numbers are a illusion my love is eternal and for everyone lov u mutis <3

10. How many followers do you have?

207 but probbably half are porn bots.

11. How many people do you follow?

917. It used to be more.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

I don't think so bc I generally don't understand written humor so how could I?

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

Man idk sometimes its just a few minutes and others is multiple hours of scrolling while listening to music (like rn). If I had to sum all those times I guess around 4 hours?? It seems correct.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

No I'm terrified of conflict :)

 

15. How do u feel about “u need to reblog this” posts?

I don't mind them??? I know some people are bothered by them and I understand why, I just don't love them nor hate them.

16. Do you like tag games?

HELL YEAH!!

17. Do you like ask games?

ALSO HELL YEAH!!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I have no clue but if any of you is you have to tell me

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nah I don't have a romantic crush on anyone, I just wish they were all my friends since everyone is so cool and nice

Everyone that I know here probably answer this already from someone else so I won't tag anyone, thanks again Chiara!! Sorry it took me so long :( ily

[purplesurveys]

1021

survey by lets-make-surveys

1 - Do you have cats? Tell me about them. No. My sister used to have a cat, but Arlee passed away last April, I think a day or two before my birthday.

2 - Do you have an open fire in your house? Would you like one? Idk what that is, but it doesn’t sound appealing as I live in a tropical country as it is. More heat would just be uncomfortable.

3 - Are you a fan of making things cosy? What kind of things do you do to make your home feel cosy and snug? Cozy is nice, of course, but I wouldn’t always invest in them. I’d want my own place to have scented candles and fluffy pillows and blankets, but those three things are probably enough for me. I don’t really need fairy lights or oil diffusers or whatever.

4 - Do you still buy DVD’s or do you just use Netflix? Netflix. The last time I received a DVD was around...2013 maybe? when my mom gave me a DVD of Gone with the Wind for Christmas. I haven’t sought them out since, since everything is now online anyway.

5 - What kind of games console(s) do you have? What kind of games are your favourite? I grew up around video games but of all the people in my family who enjoys them, I was and am literally the only one who was never any good. I learned to be content with just watching my dad and cousins from the side, haha. Anyway, at home we’re currently using the PS3, PS4, and Switch.

6 - What was the last thing you had to drink? Water.

7 - Do you like things to be colour-coordinated or does it not bother you? Not for absolutely everything, but sure. My notes, back when I was still in school, were always color-coordinated. Also, when my parents asked me to reorganize their closets when I was younger, I liked fixing their clothes according to color too.

8 - Are you a big reader? Do you own many books that you’ve not gotten around to reading yet? I used to be, as a kid. Everyone called me bookworm and I embraced that title, haha. Then I got depressed and that never went away and everything got busy in life, and I was just slowly unable to finish books that I kept buying until I stopped reading altogether. I definitely have a number of books that are still unfinished to this day.

9 - Are you a fan of scented candles? What kind of scent(s) do you like? Mmm no, but I can see the appeal. I’d love to try buying one or two one of these days. They’d probably be perfect for Friday evenings after a work week.

10 - Do you believe that black cats are bad luck? No. I don’t believe in symbols like that. It’s also so frustrating hearing that black cats are still among the least-adopted animals in my country, because it only means people continue to believe in that ridiculous mindset.

11 - What’s your favourite breed of dog? Have you ever owned that breed before? Every breed is my favorite, except for, honestly, chihuahuas and pugs.

12 - Do you have laundry that needs to be done right now? No.

13 - Who or what was the last thing you shouted at? My family was playing Pictionary during the blackout yesterday and that was just a lot of constant yelling, lol

14 - Is there anything in your home that needs repairing or replacing? One of our electric fans broke a few months ago and we have a couple of leaks in the ceiling of our dining room which make it inconvenient whenever it rains. One of the lightbulbs in the kitchen is also close to going out, but I think my dad has already bought a replacement bulb for it.

15 - What kind of phone do you have? Do you use it often? iPhone 8. I’ve definitely been using it a lot recently. My depression for the last two or so months has made me reliant on background noise, so I have YouTube Autoplay all day long. I’m starting to see the effects on the battery hahaha, but it’s okay as I plan to get a new phone once I can finally afford a monthly plan.

16 - Who was the last person you spoke to on video chat? I was on video call with Angel and our HR supervisor on our first day last Monday.

17 - When was the last time you took any medication? Is this something you have to do regularly? I think it was a Biogesic for my headache, which is the only kind of pill I ever take anyway. No, I only pop one whenever I feel my temples start to throb, which isn’t too often.

18 - Where do you keep your shoes when you’re not wearing them? We have a storage space under the stairs, where our shoe rack also is. All my shoes are on there as we’re not allowed to bring any shoes upstairs (welcome to Asian homes, hahaha).

19 - Is your room/home generally clean and tidy? How long would you say you spent on housework each day? It’s clean. I don’t move around in here much except to sit at my desk to work and then sleep at the end of the day, so. As for housework, my mom’s a total control freak when it comes to chores, so even though I always want to help she wants things done her way, the steps of which only she knows.

20 - If you could have any snack in the world right now, what would you pick? What about a drink to go with it? I don’t have any particular craving right now, actually...maybe sushi? Deep fried maki sounds great rn. Just water would be fine.

21 - What’s everyone else in your household doing right now? Dad drove out for his work and my mom tagged along. No clue what my siblings are doing downstairs as I haven’t showed myself today so far.

22 - What was the last new item you bought for your home? (something like curtains or furniture, not something unique for you like clothes). Mom bought new plates as she felt like replacing the plate set we’ve had and been using since first moving here in ‘08. She also got a new tornado mop after the old one broke.

23 - Do you have a favourite mug to drink out of? Does your favourite change depending on what you’re going to be drinking? Yeah I used to love my color-changing mug with the wi-fi design, but now I’ve been using my mom’s Starbucks copper mug the most. As for the second question, no it doesn’t work that way for me. I’ll drink anything in my current favorite mug.

24 - What are five things you like to have within arms reach when you’re sat on the computer or settled down to watch TV? Phone, laptop charger, a hairtie, a blanket, and the cleaning cloth for my glasses.

25 - When doing surveys, do you have a certain routine or anything, or do you just sit and do them whenever and whatever? I don’t have a ~routine per se but I do have a few traditions, so to speak:

I prefer a cup of coffee to accompany me while taking them though I don’t always follow this, like now. 

If I’m taking surveys in public, like at a coffee shop, I zoom out my Chrome to around 67% so that no one could see what I’m doing.

I try to check out Bzoink everyday for new survey leads, but sometimes Tumblr will be filled with good surveys (like now - there are so many good ones floating around on here recently??? I’m so not complaining) and I keep track of them by liking those survey posts to take in the future.

I generally avoid bolding surveys, but when I do take one I prefer to actually answer each item, so that it doesn’t end too quickly for me.

[iamdangerace]

Tagged by both @justmakesuresheeatsthemouse​ and @138skulls​ to respond to written interrogatories. Cheers to you both. These do, as you said Mlle Mouse, have a slumber party feel to them. Haven’t been yet, to a slumber party, but I’m not discounting the possibility that I may yet.

1. Have you had a good day so far today? So far, it’s been frustratingly groovy.

2. What’s something you wish you could tell your younger self? I would tell me that real love (the joined at the hip, can’t keep your hands off each other, love everything and wouldn’t change a thing about each other, sex like a spiritual awakening kind of love) never lasts. Enjoy it while you’re in it. Let it go when it’s over. Stay close afterward because you still love each other. You’re just not in love with each other. And you can have that again with someone else if you have a high threshold for pain. Like, on the other hand, does last. And sex with a close friend you care about may not be magic, but it is nice, and as good--just different.

3. If you could share one song with someone for them to understand you, what would it be? Vagabond Dog by Naked Raygun from their Understand? album.

4. A song people maybe wouldn’t expect you to like but you do? Same Old Fucking Thing by Elastica. Brit Pop, I know, but I like the whole Elastica album. The songs are slightly shoegazey.  Somewhat punkish, in the rhythm, if not the melody. Annie Holland is one of my favorite bassist. Her basswork on the album is the most interesting part of the music. I own the record album and 2 copies of their songbook from 1995. One copy is in mint condition and kind of valuable. I can, or at least could at one time, play all of the songs on the album.

5. Describe your go-to pair of shoes? Like those who tagged me, I love my Doc Martens. I have two pair of originals, 8-eye and 14-eye, from when they made them in England.  They are the most comfortable and best footwear I own. But I only wear them to live music shows, indoors–about 2 or 3 times a month.

I have a pair of grinders and some jump boots for outdoor music festivals and riding my bike. I have lots of cowboy boots for cowboying. A pair of Italian pointey-toe zip ups if I want to look like John, Paul, Ringo and George, or one of the outsiders. But what I wear almost everyday are canvas high tops. I have a lot of those too.

6. Do you have a picture/poster in your room? What of? This is another long explanation.  I have a house, but not really a room. A number of people live with me from time to time. Where I sleep often depends on who’s here. I have one room filled with clothing racks, like in a store, that hold all my clothes, jackets, shoes, whatever. Tbh, most of the decorating has been done by other people, and if I like it, I keep it. My housemate now is an artist/shamanic-witch/grammar school teacher. She has her artwork up all over. And fetishes.

The lower level is mine though. It’s where I work and practice. I’ve been doing a self-renovation of the space for a long time, and plan to hang things I’ve collected when I’m done. I go to Comic Con a lot and usually buy from the artists there. I have some Crow artwork I bought from James O’Barr and just a lot of comic art.

I also recently bought many, many paintings from an artist in France who paints underground music themes. So I guess my answer is no.

7. What’s your favourite software? Audacity. The best sound mixing software money can’t buy.

8. Do you own nail polish/fave colour of nail polish? No. But my fave color is hers. Especially on her toenails.

9. Favourite herb/spice? Melange. The spice must flow.

10. Do/can you lucid dream? I used to. I even dream walked once during a high fever. But I got into too much trouble.

11. Summer or winter? Summer. I like the water.

12. If you could relive a day of your life, would you? When? Mid 90s. Surfing near San Diego. Beach party. Sleeping on the beach and watching the sun come up.

Or, a night not too long ago. Catching a show at the Metro by a lot of great bands. Going to the after hours next door with some of the people from some of the bands. Catching a really great electronic show. Dry ice mist up to your knees. Have to wear sunglasses because of the lasers. Rubbing elbows with creatures of the night. Riding to the beach and watching the sun come up.

13. Favourite historical era? The 80s/90s. Very cool music. Beat-to-shit, torn up clothes were in. Everybody had a good time, pretty much all the time. Everything before was all back of the bus, barefoot and pregnant and die young killing yourself working for the man. Music was boring too. Maybe not some jazz, blues and blue grass, but still kind of boring. Too far back and people had very poor hygiene practices.  Right now basically sucks. The future is Blade Runner, if we’re lucky, and a dystopian post-apocalypse wasteland if we’re not.  Again, people with very poor hygiene practices. The music might be interesting though.

14. A common misunderstanding people have of you? I guess my education. Not so much Tumblr people, who don’t know shit about me, but people irl--the ones I can really fail to impress in person. I have a doctorate.

This took me a real long time. I apparently have way too much spare time. 

I tag. @artemisia-absinthium-x​ @queenofnots​ @sage9991​ @lizardcreep​ @daydreamsofanafternoonany​ @girlslikemereadsassy​ @cantgetyououttamymind​ @torn-paper-doll​ @neverwillyoufindmehere​ @suicidniv​ @makp01​ @shadowanndeath​ @marlsborohaven​ @grimoirael​ @vivaladee​ @fior-di-pelle​ @bruuubs89​ @alesitablackplanet​ @vagabundusdesdemona​ @punkinpie​ @hotelmade​ @shikauso​ @lotusgurl​ @zombienicole​ @electric-wizardress​ @kneipho​

some of whom may have fun doing this.

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (27/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: I’m the slightest bit overwhelmed by how kind a lot of you are and how many people have become invested in this story. It’s the coolest thing seeing the happiness it brings some of you, even if I am stressing you out right now. Whenever I get a message about how a story has made someone’s bad day better, I get a little smile on my face. You are all awesome ☺️

Thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke​ for being my beta! Don’t fret. She yelled at me a lot about this part of the story too, so it’s not just you guys and it does get better. 

AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 |

Tag list: @stunningswan​ @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury​ @superchocovian​ @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog@cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings​ 

-/-

Emma has never once complained about having off from work before.

Not once.

She has four days off right now. It’s four days of no baseball and no responsibility, and she has been looking forward to it for months ever since she first saw the time off on the calendar and marked it in a huge red circle. There’s nothing quite like having the ability to sleep in, not brush your hair, and lounge around in pajamas all day as you watch professional athletes hit tennis balls back and forth at each other at one hundred miles per hour as they play the US Open.

But there’s a bit of a sting to it all when two tickets to the semi-finals tomorrow are saved in her phone, and she hasn’t spoken to the person who bought them for her in three days.

(They’re in the nosebleed section so no one would notice them, and Emma remembers laughing out loud when Killian showed her the seats because she has no idea how they would even see the ball.)

Okay, there’s more than a bit of a sting.

It fucking hurts.

There’s always been a reason why she didn’t make plans so far ahead of time, not ones that require monetary and emotional commitments from her, but she’s been breaking all of her rules over the past five and half months. All of them. She’s made plans to go to Portland, to go to a wedding, to go to this idiotic set of matches that she would actually really love to go to.

All of them with Killian.

Emma should have known better. She honestly should have. Every time she ever made plans with Neal or Walsh or any other man that she was dating, they always fell through. They never held up. Either the relationship would endend, or the guy would fade away at the last minute. It didn’t matter. Every time she got her hopes up, they fell back to the ground and were crushed under the weight of her own disappointment.

Neal was the definition of flaky. He was always making these big plans with big dreams and promising her so damn much before ripping the rug out from under her so quickly that she barely even had time to brace herself before she fell flat on her ass. And the really shitty thing is that she didn’t even realize how awful it was that he was doing that to her because that’s what people had been doing her entire life – foster parents, social workers, childhood friends, her birth parents. That little seed of hope would be planted, roots would start to grow, and then it’d all be torn out of the ground. She was in a relationship like that for years and then fell into the same exact trap two years later.

Why would Killian be any different?

(Of course he is different.)

A laugh escapes her lips at that, one she didn’t give permission to, and all it does is make Emma curl into her bed a little bit more, wrapping her arms around her pillow and yanking the blankets further up her body so that the outside world can’t get to her. It’s just Emma, her laptop, and a bag of salt and vinegar chips that are most likely going to break her tongue out.

As it should be.

This is not how her day was supposed to go.

Not at all.

Killian was supposed to come over after his morning training, and he was going to spend time with her and probably Ruby, debating television shows and movies and eating whatever takeout he decided to bring on his way here. But Killian isn’t here. She doesn’t even know where he is. Probably not training considering he’s out for the rest of the regular season.

It’s what he told her, but it’s also what she’s read in about fifteen different articles online.

And what she had to post on her Twitter account as part of her job. Life is funny that way. You think you can avoid your boyfriend and all information about him, but she can’t. It’s part of her freaking job.

She couldn’t have kept herself from reading the articles online if she’d tried.

(She didn’t.)

There’s a knock on her door, a sound that Emma has been ignoring for most of the past few days, but she didn’t turn the lock when she went to get her chips two hours ago, so Ruby easily opens the door and walks into her bedroom. She’s got her hair pulled back into a ponytail and is wearing leggings and a sports bra like she just went to the Pilates class that Emma skipped out on.

She shouldn’t have done that.

Fueling her emotions into that would probably have been a much healthier way to cope. No, it definitely would have been. Exercise is better than stuffing her mouth with junk food even if junk food feels so much better at first.

Shit. She’s pathetic. But honestly, she doesn’t even care.

“Hey,” Ruby says quietly as she shuts the door behind her. “How are you feeling?”

Emma doesn’t respond, just curls herself further into her pillow like the pathetic person she is as a tennis ball is thwacked across the court and bounces up into the bottom level of the stands. But Ruby, never one to be deterred by anything, walks across the room and settles down on the bed behind Emma, wrapping her arms around her stomach and pulling her closer while Ruby’s chin rests on her shoulder.

It’s the most considerate touch she’s felt in days, and it’s the only time that someone hasn’t shown her pity or tried to tell her that everything was going to be okay. After she left the hospital, leaving Killian behind with her mind reeling and falling down a hole with no escape, Emma immediately went to her apartment and changed into running clothes before running until her legs wouldn’t work anymore. It was fifteen miles, something she’s done before, something that’s not even her personal best, and she thought that she could keep going.

She had to keep going.

But the adrenaline died out on her, all of her anger and rage and, frankly, sadness dissipated into barely being able to breathe, and she’d swiped her metro card and walked through the gates to get on the train that would take her to David’s house because she needed him like she hadn’t needed him in years. David is always the reasonable one, is always the one who makes her see things that she can’t see, but he wasn’t there. It was only Leo and Mary Margaret, and as much as Emma loves Mary Margaret, she couldn’t understand why Emma was so hurt by Killian lying to her.

It’s not what the lie was, though that is a pretty big deal. It’s the fact that the lie happened.

Over and over again.

She gave him her heart in all of the shattered and glued back together pieces, and as careful as he is with it, he still managed to add a crack or two.

How could she have ever expected otherwise?

Why did she?

Why does she still want him to be the one to help her keep holding it together?

David had eventually come home and seen her talking to Mary Margaret, and somehow, he just knew that she needed him to hold her for a little while. He did, cupping the back of her head with his hand and not placating her by telling her that everything was okay or that she shouldn’t be angry or anything else that she wasn’t quite ready to hear yet.

There were a lot of things she wasn’t ready to hear that day.

“Do you want to go for a walk with me sometime today?” Ruby asks, and Emma breathes out on a sigh, her stomach swirling in a messy cloud of anxiousness over the fact that Ruby has finally decided that Emma has to talk. She’s been waiting for it. She’s also been expecting a much more abrasive conversation. “I know that your legs probably still feel like shit from that crazed run you went on, but I feel like a walk would be good. Fresh air, exercise, maybe I will even stop and buy two dozen donuts. You know, really splurge and keep them to ourselves and not let Graham have any.”

Emma chuckles, and this time she’s kind of glad for it. It’s not a big belly laugh, but it’s something.

Baby steps are better than nothing.

“Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a walk?

“Nope. It’s good to get our legs moving, work some of this laziness out of you. Plus, I fully plan on making us walk the full perimeter of Central Park, so we’ll have earned those donuts. If we haven’t died first because that’s a huge ass park.”

“You do realize that Bryant park is closer?”

“And that’s exactly why we’re not going there.” Ruby squeezes her again, pretty much hugging her, and it may actually make Emma’s heart swell. “C’mon, Ems. Indulge me for an afternoon, okay? It’s not like you to lay in bed like this. I don’t like it.”

It’s not. She’s already thought that. This isn’t her. She’s not the type of girl who lays around in bed because she’s upset that she and her boyfriend got into a fight, if that’s even what this can be called. There wasn’t exactly any fighting, even if her mind has managed to create the illusion that there was. Honestly, she barely let him get any words in besides his explanation of what happened. And she’s not the type of girl who cries and eats ice cream and wonders how life will ever go on.

There’s nothing wrong with doing that, but it’s not her.

And she hasn’t cried. That’s beside the point, though.

“It’s really comfortable in here, okay?”

“You’re moping.”

“Then let me mope.”

Ruby sighs and hugs her a little closer.

“Emma, I know that I might not seem like the most emotionally mature person at times, but I’ve been in a steady relationship for a long time. I know that things like this happen, and I know that after lying in bed for nearly three days now, you need to get your ass up. You’re not going to find any solutions at the bottom of that chip bag.”

“I hate Graham for helping you be so emotionally stable. You used to hate love.”

“It’s all the good fucking. I’m telling you. Knocked some sense right into me.”

Emma barks out a laugh and completely rolls over on her stomach, letting Ruby’s arms release her as she snorts into the pillow. “You are the worst,” she mumbles, her voice muffled by the material.

“I am the best.” There’s a slap against her ass that has Emma jumping and rolling over again so that she nearly knocks over her laptop. “Now, go brush your teeth, put on some deodorant, and change clothes so we can take over the city with our powerwalk like the rich old ladies we’ve always aspired to be.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

It’s an actual blazing inferno outside, the heat curling up from the concrete to practically burn through Emma’s sneakers, and it makes her really not want to be out on this walk. But she knows that the faster she walks, the faster she can go back home and retreat back to her room. All she really wants is to go back to her room.

And get under the shades of the trees in the park. September needs to end and allow October to roll in so that she won’t sweat every time she steps outside. This is ridiculous.

It’s probably all of the salt and vinegar leaving her pores. What a thought to have.

If only eating strawberries or kale or something was a good emotional comfort food.

It’s a little over a mile to the park, and as awful as the entrance is all full of tourists and street vendors and people trying to sell her a guide to the city like she doesn’t know it’s on a grid system, Emma is thankful just to have the slight breeze and be away from the masses of people. She won’t admit it, not out loud, but Ruby was right to get her to get up and get moving. When she’s lounging around, her mind wanders to things that it shouldn’t wander to, and at least now she’s able to put all of her focus on putting one foot in front of the other and watching all of the people around her.

Why pay for Broadway tickets when you can watch people in Central Park?

The air-conditioning. Yep. The air-conditioning.

They walk for an hour, just a casual stroll that Emma keeps thinking should be a run, but the heat of the day becomes too much for her, her heartbeat going wild, and as soon as she sees an unoccupied bench in the shade, she makes a run for it, leaving Ruby to catch up from behind. It’s a bit ridiculous, but this is a golden opportunity to allow herself to sit down and breathe without anyone bothering her since most people in the area are concentrated around the boathouse and not the little beaten path to the side of it.

“I hate summer,” Ruby groans when she reaches the bench. “It’s the worst. I don’t care that it’s when all of the good sports happen. It’s too damn hot.”

Emma bends down to rest her elbows on her knees and cradle her head in her palms. “It was your idea to come out here.”

“Yeah, well, you were depressing me.”

She doesn’t say anything back, taking a moment to breathe and stare down at the laces on her shoes. One of them is about to come untied, but she can’t bother to fix it. There’s no point if she plans on never moving from this spot. The sweat that’s trickling down her back is going to keep her glued here anyways.

How the hell did she run fifteen miles the other day? What kind of rage-fueled adrenaline was that?

“Killian lied to me about his shoulder.”

The words come out without her permission. She doesn’t even remember thinking them. Her mind was blank and then all of the sudden they were there, escaping from her tongue and her lips and becoming part of the air that’s surrounding she and Ruby.

Emma is still staring at the ground. Her hand has also unconsciously found the chain around her neck, the one with Killian’s mom ring that he gave her as a good luck charm. She hasn’t been able to take it off. She wanted to, wanted to take away that reminder of him, but she couldn’t do it.

Killian wanted her to have one of his most prized possessions, and as mad as she is at him right now, she can’t take it off.  It means too much to her to have been given something like this.

“He lied to me,” she continues, taking a deep breath, though she’s not sure if it’s from the exercise or the emotions running a race in her mind and wearing down her nerves. “And I get it. He was scared. He – ”

“He didn’t want you to think less of him for being broken.”

“How do you know that?”

“Mary Margaret told me. You know she can’t keep a secret.”

Emma chuckles, but it’s a weak one, before lifting her head back up so that all of her blood can return to its rightful place. She was starting to get worried it wouldn’t. All she can really focus on is how cool the metal of the ring is against her stomach.

“Unlike you have apparently become, I am not the best with my emotions,” Emma continues. All of the words she’s been holding up are bubbling up to the surface and ready to spill over and run rampant. “I’m pretty shitty with them, but Killian made me feel comfortable, you know? When we’re together, I do pretty okay sharing all of the broken parts of me. He knows a lot of stuff that not even you know, and I thought we were in the kind of relationship where we trusted each other enough to share the brokenness. And trust me, we have a lot of it. We’ve had…we’ve had pretty shitty lives at some points, and I am so mad at him for repeatedly not telling me that he was hurt and for not being smart enough to stop playing and get some help. It’s not that big of an injury, but it could have been. He loves that stupid game, and he’s going to lose it if he keeps doing things like this.”

Ruby reaches down and grabs Emma’s hand and wraps her fingers around her palm and squeezes so that Emma has to look up at the sky to stop the tears from finally falling. This is dumb. This is all so dumb, and every bit of it could have been avoided.

“I think though,” Emma continues, still blinking away the tears, “past the lying and this gut-wrenching fear that he’s going to lie to me about other things too, I’m mostly hurt that he didn’t feel comfortable talking to me. I love him so much, Rubes. He probably has no idea how much I love him because I barely know how to express it, and, but I don’t know how to fully trust him if this is going to be a pattern.”

Ruby’s sighs, and Emma swears that she feels it in her own bones. Her heartrate has calmed down, something next to normal, and she no longer feels like she’s going to throw up. She was kind of feeling like that for a little while, and the guy sitting in the grass fifteen feet away from them reading a book in peace probably wouldn’t appreciate that.

“You’ve got to talk to him.”

“I don’t – ”

“You don’t want to right now,” Ruby finishes for her, and Emma twists her head to the side to look over at the lake instead of at Ruby. “I know. I got that. You have every right to be pissed off at him. You have every right to kick and scream and feel anger so deep in your belly that it aches when you breathe. It doesn’t matter what he lied to you about. If it hurt you, it hurt you. Case closed.”

“I know but – ”

“Nope, nope, you’re going to let me finish. I am on a roll, and you’re going to crush my momentum.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Ruby squeezes her hand again before letting go. “Killian should not have lied to you. That’s just…I know we all tell little white lies, but this is obviously different. He shouldn’t have lied to you or to anyone. He should have trusted the people who he loves with the things he’s struggling with, but I don’t think this was about him not trusting you. He didn’t tell his family about any of it either.”

“They knew about the accident.”

“To be fair, Liam was there, and I think there’s no way Elsa couldn’t find out.”

“Semantics.”

“Very important ones,” Ruby points out. “I don’t – I’m not trying to tell you how to feel. I’m just saying that Killian didn’t do this out of malicious intent. He’s not Walsh, and he’s certainly not Neal. He is not spending his time trying to bring you down because he can’t handle being with a successful woman. I honestly think he’s scared of losing you and of losing the game, and that can make people do things that they wouldn’t usually do. You may not realize it, but I think you have become just as important to Killian as baseball is – if not more so. I know all about that ring you keep messing with and how big of a deal it is. Honey, he wouldn’t have given that to you if he didn’t love you. I’m not saying that fixes everything because it doesn’t. You have to talk to him and let yourself trust him if you think he’s worth trusting.”

Ruby echoes the words Killian said to her in Elsa’s office, the words that she repeated to Mary Margaret when she was trying to explain what was going on. They’re right. They’re all right, and she hates it. She doesn’t even know why. She should be thrilled that everyone seems to think that Killian didn’t set out to hurt her.

She thinks that too.

But Ruby is right in the fact that he did hurt her and right in the fact that she should be allowed to feel how she feels. How could she not with everything that’s happened to her in her life?

But she’s not thrilled.

And it’s dumb. Really, really dumb. Because she should want to get up from this bench and run to Killian’s apartment. It’s not far, maybe another mile walk, but she has absolutely emotionally exhausted herself to the point that talking about this more would be too much for her.

Talking everything out is still new to her, and when the stakes are this high, that pestering feeling that it’s all going to go wrong is continually building. Because what if Killian realizes that she’s more broken than he thinks too she is, and it’s all too much to deal with? Their relationship seems so simple on the surface and yet underneath it all…

Oh fuck.

Emma loves Killian so damn much, more than anything as he would say, but being together has never been simple. It’s always been a series of guesses and choices and an underlying hope that things would work out. She allowed herself to have that hope from the beginning, when she barely knew anything about him and when he’d fucked up with her already, and she should allow herself to have that same faith now that she genuinely knows so much of what makes up the ever-evolving person who is Killian Jones.

Tomorrow. She’ll talk to him tomorrow. Her stomach is still in too many knots for her to even think about seeing his face today and seeing the smile that always makes everything inside of her feel like it is floating on cloud nine.

Tomorrow. It has to be tomorrow because then she’s got to leave for Boston and Detroit, and she’s not waiting a week.

And she almost desperately needs to know how he’s doing. He’s got to be hurting, and she knows that she added to that.

“Can we go get those donuts now, Rubes?”

“Absolutely.”

The walk home seems swifter than the walk there, and it’s likely because Emma isn’t weighed down by the heaviness of a lot of things that are on her heart. Or maybe it’s because she does have donuts to look forward to. Today is going to be her last day of self-indulgence where she allows herself to mope and eat like all of the junk food in the world is going to disappear tomorrow. Because tomorrow she’s going to start eating actually balanced meals with things like vitamins and nutrients – most of the time – and she’ll hopefully stop feeling so sorry for herself.

That’s a bit of a gamble.

Ruby still makes a point of distracting her for the afternoon, obviously sensing that Emma is two seconds away from running away to her room and never emerging again, and while she contemplates that a few times throughout the day, especially when Graham comes home and kisses Ruby hello, she doesn’t.

In fact, she’s the last one awake and the only one to stay out in the living room. The only light that’s on comes from the TV, a tennis match still going on late in the night, and maybe it’s the lack of sleep she’s gotten or maybe it’s that feeling that happens when you’re alone at night and your mind starts playing tricks on you, but something gives her the courage to pull out her phone and text the person she’s been thinking about all day.

Emma: How’s your arm?

The bubble pops up immediately.

Killian: It hurts, mostly in the mornings, but not too bad. Lots of Ibuprofen and ice.

Emma: That’s good.

Emma: Not that it hurts. That it’s not too bad.

Killian: Yeah, I’m glad it’s not as bad as it has been.

Her heart may actually break a bit more at the thought of him being hurt all of this time. She’s been so mad at him, so frustrated with him for not sharing it with her, and she’s barely had any time to think about all of the pain that he’s been going through. Shitty move on her part.

It’s one thing to get injured and still be able to go about your daily life. It’s another when your livelihood depends on your body.

Killian: You should still use the tickets tomorrow. Take Ruby or David. I can get you an upgrade to sit closer since I’m not going with you now.

I don’t want to use them with anyone but you, she types, a little pathetically.

She doesn’t actually send that message. She can’t muster up the courage no matter how much truth is in the statement. Wine or whiskey or, hell, tequila are really tempting at this point to make herself feel a little less – upset, conflicted, hopeful even. But drowning sorrows in alcohol is no way to solve a problem, even if she’s done it before. It’ll only make her feel worse.

Emma: Can we talk tomorrow?

That text is riskier, means more, and is far scarier, and yet it’s the one she sends.

Killian: I’d like that.

Emma: Me too.

[tonystarkbingo]

TSB Week 22!

For badges this week (and last week because Mod Meg forgot!) we have a whole load of Participation badges!

Ashbobo

Lacrimula Falsa

FestiveFerret

DixieHellcat

feignedsobriquet

Ria Rose

celtic7irish

Aoife

Red_Demon

RomancebyFaye

And for Bingo, congratulations to Trashcanakin!

Remember, if you don’t claim your badges using this form, you will not get your badges!

Reminder about our LAST DISCORD PARTY in a couple weeks (June 20th), and that your last fills are due by JUNE 30TH, with your masterposts due on July 4th!

And now, on to the amazing fills from this week!

Title: Trauma Bingo (the Avengers need ALL the therapy) Collaborator: LBibliophile Link: AO3 Square Filled: R3 - Shared Trauma Ship: Bucky Barnes & Avengers Team Rating: Teen Major Tags: Angst and Humor, PTSD Summary: SHIELD remembers that trauma therapy exists, and their sights are set on the Avengers. Aka. How many issues can you fit in one team, and can you also get them all in the same person. Succeeding at trauma bingo is not actually winning… Word Count: 1180

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Title: Twelve Months Collaborator: RiaRose Link: AO3 Square Filled:  Chapter 1: A2 - Love or Lust Chapter 2: A1 - Workshop Troubles Chapter 3: R1 - Flight Chapter 4: T1 - Presumed Dead Chapter 5: S3 - Major Injuries Chapter 6: T5 - Non Penetrative Sex Chapter 7: K5 - Asking for Trouble Chapter 8: S5 - Bedtime Stories Chapter 9: K2 - Dares/Bets Chapter 10: A4 - Domesticity  Chapter 11: T3 - Vibes in Public Chapter 12: K1 - Kink in Anal Sex Ship: Stony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Explicit Sexual Content Summary: Tony! Don’t you get it? I love you. And I know you love me!” Steve jumps to his feet, reaching for Tony as he walks away. “I’m failing to see the damn problem!”“We can’t be together!” Tony snaps, spinning around to face him. “What part of this are you unable to comprehend?! It’s only going to end in me hurting you. I’m only going to break your heart, Steve. Fuck! Don’t you have  any self-preservation?”ORThe story of Steve Rogers and Tony Stark, told in increments, month by month. Word Count: 13893

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Title: “Groot!” - Nice to Meet a New Old Friend Collaborator: Fighting_for_Creativity Link: AO3 Square Filled: A4 - Groot Ship: Groot & Rocket Raccoon Rating: Teen Major Tags: Accidental Time Travel, Kid Tony Stark Summary: Rocket and Groot are stranded. Both on a backwards planet, and in a long ago past. Word Count: 2146

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Title: An Airforce Pilot, A Pararescuer, And A Nuclear Deterrent Share A Bed Collaborator: cami-chats Link: AO3 Square Filled: K3 - Kink: Anal Sex Ship: Rhodey/Tony/Sam Rating: Explict Major Tags: PWP Summary: Tony had been invited into threesomes before. Hell, he had proposed threesomes before, that wasn't the issue here. Being invited into one by two people that he thought were just friends, not only to him but to each other? Well that came out of left field for him. But here were Rhodey and Sam looking at him all sincerely as they asked him into their bed. Of course he said yes. Word Count: 5085

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Title: Iron Elvis Collaborator: Von_Gelmini Link: Tumblr Square Filled: R4 - Presumed Dead Ship: Starker Rating: Gen Major Tags: Major Character Death? Summary: Moodboard Word Count: N/A

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Title: Winter Soldier Sachet Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: A4 - Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: Crafts, Winter Soldier Summary: The star detail from Bucky’s metal arm, made out of felt & filled with rice and cinnamon Word Count: N/A

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Title: Galaxy Collaborator: Von_Gelmini Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K5 - Galaxy Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: None Summary: Moodboard Word Count: N/A

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Title: Knight in Shining Armor Collaborator: G Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T4 - Kidnapped! Ship: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader // IronDad Rating: Teen Major Tags: Mention of capture/kidnapping Summary: Tony Stark’s kid is captured by some of Kingpin’s men, and Peter Parker comes to the rescue Word Count: 1299

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Title: Shit My Dad Says Collaborator: eachpeachpearplum Link: AO3 Square Filled: S4 - You Can’t Trademark That Ship: Pepper Potts & Morgan Stark Rating: Teen Major Tags: Post-Endgame, Pepper and Morgan Family Fluff (with a bit of grief because, you know, post-Endgame) Summary: Tony was right, it is about legacy. No one can deny all the good he did, nor can they argue with the sheer number of people who are alive because of him, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t leave Pepper a lot of shit to deal with. Word Count: 743 + comic strip

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Title: Seasoned with a little bit of Pepper Collaborator: Violettavonviolet Link: AO3 Square Filled: T1 - Pepper Potts/Rescue R4 - Artificial Intelligence Ship: Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: Post-Avengers Shawarma Scene, Steve is Confused, Established Relationship Summary: What do you get when you fly a nuke into space and afterwards go eat shawarma without calling the love of your life?You get a very angry Pepper, that’s what you get. And what do you get when on top of all of that, you don’t inform your team about the potential guest in the tower?Well now you’re just in for a very fun night… Word Count: 2228

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Title: Mr. Stark’s Guide to Accidental Marriage Collaborator: Violettavonviolet Link: AO3 Square Filled: T3 - Accidental Marriage Ship: FrostIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Hangover, Blackouts, Accidental Marriage, Loki is a Little Shit Summary: Tony was still not entirely sure what he had done but he decided it was best to ask her directly. “Pepper, I can’t remember a thing from last night, what did I do that was so terrible? Did I sleep with the daughter of a senator in a janitors closet again, because I swear I didn’t mean to!“…Tony didn’t respond for a second before he yelped, “I MARRIED LOKI ODINSON?“or: How Tony Stark accidentally married Loki and everything somehow turns out fine. Word Count: 1970

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Title: The Not So Secret Secret Couple Collaborator: Violettavonviolet Link: AO3 Square Filled: T4 - Secret Relationship Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Teen Major Tags: 5+1, Secret Relationship, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Summary: They hadn’t meant to keep it a secret, it just kinda happened.And now, when they are finally ready to show the whole world that they are together, nobody notices.orfive times an avenger remained oblivious and the one time they spelled it out for them. Word Count: 1901

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Title: Art for Winter Witcher Collaborator: feignedsobriquet Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S2 - Action/Adventure Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: N/A Summary: fanart for 27dragons and tisfan’s Winter Witcher  Word Count: N/A

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Title: IronJelly Collaborator: eachpeachpearplum Link: Tumblr Square Filled: A3 - Free Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: Crochet, Jellyfish Summary: IronJelly aka Peach’s adventures in crochet Word Count: N/A

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Title: A Birthday Party to Remember Collaborator: cami-chats Link: AO3 Square Filled: K1 - Tony Stark/Scott Lang Ship: Tony Stark/Scott Lang Rating: Teen Major Tags: None  Summary: When Pepper has to go out of town unexpectedly, it's left to Tony to take Morgan to her friend's birthday party. He almost left early, but Cassie's father, Scott, proves to actually be interesting. Word Count: 890

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Title: A Little Motherly Push Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: AO3 Square Filled: K1 - Riri Williams Ship: Mama Rhodes & Tony & Rhodey Rating: Gen Major Tags: Family Fluff, Adoption Summary: Mama Rhodes is not above a little bit of nagging and above-board manipulation to get what she wants.  Word Count: 1653

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Title: Flashes Before Your Eyes Collaborator: Von_Gelmini Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K2 - Deaged Tony Ship: None Rating: Teen Major Tags: TW Drug Use, Moodboard Summary: I’ve interpreted the de-ageing as memories, when he thinks he’s about to die, of Tony’s youth in the 80s. Good and bad. Word Count: N/A

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Title: Dum-E + Levi Collaborator: PoliZ Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T1 - Science and Magic Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: fancraft, Iron Man, Doctor Strange,  Dum-E,  Levi (aka Cloak of Levitation) Summary: While their human companions  are getting to know one another better, so are Levi and Dum-E.  Word Count: N/A

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Title: Stark Salvage Collaborator: romancebyfaye Link: Tumblr Square Filled: R4 AU:Sci-fi/Futuristic Ship: Stuckony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Sci-fi, Stuckony, moodboard Summary: Stark Salvage Word Count: 226

[clarasimone]

A perspective on the forewarning fascist iconography in GoT

Was it yesterday ? I reacted to a mind-provoking aesthetic analysis of GoT reblogged by @felixthemudnescat ... which basically no one reacted to (LOL) but... chatting with @scratchybeardsweetmouth and @ser-jorah-the-andal, I felt like revisiting it to add observations to my initial reaction. Even if it’s too heavy-meta for such a beautiful summer day. @felixthemudnescat pardon me for not using the reblog button cause I want to do this under the dot-dot-dot so as not to weigh down the usual degree of levity in our tumblr group ;-)

Also I only realized today that you actually reblogged without commenting and I assumed, maybe wrongly, that you adhered completely to what you reblogged. And that might not be the case, so I’ll alter my text accordingly...

So here we go... (my input comes at the end)

Anonymous asked:

Girl. Gurl. Who the fuck is Leni Riefenstahl? Y'all Sansa stans pulling the most elaborate nonsense out of your asses to justify shitty writing. Or you twist everything and make D&D sound as if they're the most brilliant minds the world has ever seen LOL

fedonciadale answered:

Hi there!

If you would have taken one moment to look up Leni Riefenstahl - and I assure you that it is not difficult to look her up - you would not have combined your question with a comment about the writing…. Look her up and learn a lesson about how tyrants manipulate.

The visuals of the show are alluding to famous/ notorious shots of Leni Riefenstahl. You would agree that the visuals are something that gives us hints? In addition to the dialogue?

Sansa stans have complained about the writing since season 5…. You all - I’m just assuming you are a Dany fan, correct me if I’m wrong - had no complaints about shitty writing in season 7?

Look I am not saying that the way D&D got to DarkDany this season was well executed, but the foreshadowing and the character development are there. And actually from all the things the show did Daenerys is one of the better from book to screen. The hiding of her path to ruthlessness by filming from her POV is well done in season 1 to 6, and the triumphant visuals are part of that.

Visuals are part of the foreshadowing. It did not come out of nowhere and it was always a major plot point - as has been argued by book readers for ages. That Dany blew up King’s Landing was always to be the culmination of her arc. And it was always meant to hit you in the gut. So, as you do nicely put it : get your head out of your ass as and realise that you have been duped. And ponder about why? Was it because Dany is beautiful? Was it because she had the occasional bouts of benevolence? Was it because you thought she was entitled to an ugly chair because she suffered? Was it because she was set up against people coded as villains, so that you don’t care about how she defeated them? Was it because she is a woman and woman can’t be evil?

Take your pick and learn something about yourself and your own bias, how we can be duped by a tyrant! If you do that you are doing exactly what GRRM intended his readers to do by writing Dany like he did.

une-nuit-pour-se-souvenir

(in fiction, all these logos meant to reference the nazi flag)

fedonciadale

Reblogging for @une-nuit-pour-se-souvenir ’s excellent additions. I could not have done that because that film is actually forbidden in Germany.

justacynicalromantic

Ohhhohohoho the last one - I am😏 at people who half a year ago threw stones at me when I argued that Dany has always had parallels with Hitler.

felixthemudnescat

Found this shared on Quora, had to re-blog!

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Hi @felixthemudnescat​ long time no see !

I had not seen the original posting of this. My first instinctual reaction to this iconographic/aesthetics research is to object to the simple equation of Daenerys with Hitler. No fiction character will ever match the scope of evil (for lack of a better word) this man and his ideology represented. By ricochet and association, it makes every fan who was moved by Daenerys a potential Nazi sympathizer and that makes no sense. It’s also unnecessarily hurtful and insulting both to these fans and the real World (those who suffered and still suffer from The Holocaust). This said, the iconographic evidence you provided through your reblog has weight and is exactly what I referred to in some of my posts as the visual clues given in the show as to Dany’s *possible* arc, its *possible* finality (more on the *possible* further down); clues which scream at you if you have the cultural baggage to recognize them, and when you binge-watch the series 3 times in one month instead of watching it an ep at the time over 8-9 years. The middle seasons are especially ripe with these visual signs because they’re tagged unto somewhat repetitious narrative (Dany freeing/conquering one city at a time with little intimate character dev scenes). And @fedonciadale is right in wanting fans to look more closely into themselves; we shouldn’t close ours eyes on the shady ideological and moral symbols casting shadows on Daenerys throughout the seasons. But they were shadows. I don’t think they were meant to be the beginning and end to all things explaining the character.

@felixthemudnescat​ or @fedonciadale don’t you think D&D were building something much more subtle than the end result they opted for and which gives weight to your comparative iconographic essay ? For many seasons, the fascist references or foreboding reminders of Targaryen madness never outweighed the characterizations of Daenerys as a young woman who, regardless (or because ?) of her thwarted and abusive upbringing was trying to conjugate her own suffering and road to affirmation with the conquerer’s path given her. She might not have questioned the necessity/validity for her to conquer her way back to Westeros, as the only way she could get home, but she didn’t do it through simple rampage either. She did care to free the people she needed to build her armies. She did have a heart. This she did spontaneously; it came from a deep source within her, not a calculated one. Even if, of course, it turned out to be an astute strategy. And that sets her apart from the Nazis and its leader. At their best, D&D conjugated the two: giving us a rounded character build-up and evolution with ominous symbolic shadows lurking about her. @scratchybeardsweetmouth also made me realize, I who have not read the novels, that this humane aspect of Daenerys is brought even more to the foreground in the books. I quote @scratchybeardsweetmouth: “In the books (...) she repeatedly communicates firsthand with her freed people. She hears their opinions, is not afraid to mingle with them, always finds a way to protect them, even went out of her way to help heal some when a disease was about...” Without getting as much detailed info on her compassionate stance and actions in the show, it’s certainly the impression she indeed left us with, and it’s what her most faithful and steadfast companion, ser Jorah, sees in her and repeatedly says out loud, lest we forget it ;-) (“You have a gentle heart,” etc.)

So I thought it was IMMENSELY daring of D&D (or the novelist I’ve not read yet) to give us that scene where Daenerys is called Mhysa/Mother by the slaves she freed because the scene was inhabited with so many conflictual signs: I was all at once moved and sooooo worried as to where this could lead. Moved because, bottom line, these slaves are freed, actually freed, it’s the start of something. Dany has always given those she freed a choice to leave if they so wished… Moved because it’s a woman effecting the freeing, not a man… Moved because it’s Dany, the girl who suffered, who was a slave of sorts, that does the freeing, not her mentors…. Moved to see a culture refer to their freer as “Mother” (what a great homage to mothers, to women in general) / buuuuut also worried to see a culture refer to their freer as “Mother” because it seems to infantilize them on screen. 

Here we could also open up a whole debate about the malaise one can feel in seeing an Aristocratic White Woman free Third World People but I urge you to go read @khaleesirin‘s meta writings on the subject. She makes a great case for us NOT to see Daenerys in this fashion. Regardless of her looks and lineage, the novels (and GoT, I insist in my chats with @khaleesirin ;-) shows her to be like the people she frees: an Other. She like then is homeless, uprooted, migrant, disenfranchised. If we fail to see it in Essos, the show really drives this home once Daenerys sets foot in Westeros where NO ONE welcomes, understands or appreciates her. (Which suddenly complexifies our rapport to Sansa and the Northerners we grew to love and respect since they seem not to be above xenophobia, and racism.) 

But to get back to the Mhysa scene. Once the worrying starts, I can’t seem to stop it, even as I am moved to tears. Literally. Because of the above-mentioned qualities of it, and also possibly because of the Christ-like iconography it uses to celebrate Dany (”Let the little children come unto me” - if I may paraphrase the New Testament -- and thanks to @ser-jorah-the-andal for the reminder). And I’m always partial to feminizations of Christ; I love it, I think it’s sublimely subversive :-) But I’m also kicking myself for liking this because I fundamentally don’t want a Messiah saving the Third World, I want the Third World to save itself... and I’m worried. I’m really worried as I watch Daenerys triumph in this scene because we know she’s lacking important elements in her “psycho-affective and socio-political tool kit” (regardless of the quality and loving care of advisers now on hand, *cough* Jorah -- in the books @scratchybeardsweetmouth tells me she needs no advisor to keep her moral compass straight) and, so, will this get to her head ? Will she get drunk on her Messiah complex (and of course she does at the end of season 8) ? And what will happen if those she freed disappoint her (again flashforward to the end of season 8) ? And how will she rule them exactly (ditto) ? And, finally, yes, worried because, the fascist iconography is there and I’m going: omg where are they going with this ?

Here I want to open another parenthesis, also brought on by something @ser-jorah-the-andal wrote me: “if this is what they meant in the first place, they sure as hell didn’t bother to tell anyone in the cast so they could act accordingly, tho a case could be made that Dany never saw herself as the villain so that’s why they didn’t tell Emilia.” Indeed I’m sure the cast, or at the very least Emilia Clarke, were never told about the endgame, or never cued to the quoting of fascist iconography in some of Daenerys’ triumphant scenes. Clarke’s shocked reaction upon reading the last screenplays is a testament to her profound surprise... and this raises ethical questions, doesn’t it ? I mean in the ethics of creative partnership. It’s a recent debate possibly because there are so many tales of directors manipulating actors into giving them the performance needed to embody and communicate the discourse they want to leave us with. But the professional in me cringes here a bit. You’d hope they would trust actors enough to let them into what it is exactly they’re supposed to be creating...

This said, up to the moment before “the bells” scene in season 8, I had nonetheless seen D+D and EC give us a woman struggling morally with her choices. That’s important to state. And to get back to the above demonstration of fascist parallels, well, please, let’s point out that the Nazis and their leader never did struggle morally with what they were doing (or if they did, History bears no markers -- I’m talking about the Nazis here, not the German people as a whole). And I was prepared to see Daenerys fail because she never healed, she never achieved psycho-affective soundness (shall we get into the chapter of her misconstruing what love is ? Her relationship arc with Jorah speaks volumes) but I was expecting her to feel remorse if she did succumb to true fascism; remorse to the point of self-execution if you will, because that’s the kind of moral person D+D had been building for 7 years.  But after D&D sent her over the edge, they erased all the previous nuances they had built into her, and I believe, tried to explained it away with a broken heart, megalomania and madness…. 

So if their plan was truly to make us see her as a fascist leader of the scope we’re talking about here, the way the above visual essay seems to suggest, they would have fleshed out her character’s arc accordingly throughout the seasons, and they didn’t. There were clues as to the possibilities -- yes, Dany stepping out for her final speech is absolutely shot like Triumph of the Will by Riefenstahl… but it’s also infused with other iconographic references. That image of her merging with Drogon’s wings belongs to the fantastic, and makes her into a formidable and powerful Id, which can be construed as a positive subversive marker. And some of us do celebrate WrathfulDany for this reason.... 

The reality of GoT is that there were no actual scenes developing her fascist ideology. So let’s not confuse allusions to fascism with actual fascism. With all D+D’s failings towards the end, Daenerys remained a more nuanced and contradictory character than that. She is NOT Hitler, please...... 

The iconographic research you provided in your reblog @felixthemudnescat show us one important aspect of Dany’s subtextual arc but not the full picture. It’s missing the heart and the suffering behind the soul who fell from grace.

I hope you don’t construe this long winding reaction as a slam. I know you come from a very specific place in regards to Daenerys. I just thought the excellent research you provided deserved to be reblogged, but with an added perspective ;-)

[fragiledewdrop]

11 Questions

Rules: Always Post the rules. Answer 11 questions, then make up 11 new ones and tag 11 people. Inform the person who tagged you that you answered their questions.

Tagged by @procasdeanating . You are so right, we used to do this a lot! It brings back fond memories. Thank you.

Okay,I’ll try to put as much spn as I can in my answers, but I have been reading mostly works in other fandoms as of late, so be prepared for a bit of everything.

1. Favorite fic you read this year?

Definitely  Keeping You in Sight by  gingerswag , which I had been following since the beginning. It’s a slave fic, but focuses mostly on the recovery and the consequences of the abuse. I love it to pieces and will keep hoping for a sequel. Check it out, you won’t regret it (read the tags and triggers, though).

Outside the supernatural fandom, the best was without a doubt  Finding a Voice by Roselightfairy , my absolute favourite legolas/gimly story EVER (and that’s saying something)

Also shout out to  don't you dare by LoveIsNotAVictoryMarch , aka the silverflinthamilton precious black pearl of a fic you wrote for my prompt and that I keep close to my heart. It’s beautiful.

2. First memorable romantic scene that comes to mind?

SPOILERS for “Keeping you in sight”

This might seem unconventional, but at the end of this story, former slave Dean Dean decides to leave Cas behind because he understand that learning to take care of himself, to be a person on his own, is the only way he can truly love Cas:

“Listen to me, Cas.”

Cas does.

“What I’m saying is…you can’t fix me by being nice to me for long enough, or in the right ways, or anything. There’s no cheat code. There’s no right answer. I’m screwed up, and I’m gonna be screwed up forever. I’m doing my best, but there’s always gonna be shit that makes me panic for no reason.”

He swallows.

“That’s why I have to go. I can’t be your responsibility. I’m not a child, or an animal, or a toy that needs to be put back together. As long as I’m your responsibility, I’m still yours. Every time I fuck up, every time I cry, every time I get scared, you’re gonna feel like it’s on you. And I’m gonna feel like an object, ‘cause even my screw ups are yours.”

He drops his hand from Cas’s mouth, knowing he’s not going to interrupt now.

“And as long as I stay, you’re never gonna admit to me when you’re upset or exhausted or pissed at me, because you know I’ll freak. Like right now. You couldn’t let yourself be even a little frustrated, because it was scaring me. And you won’t even admit…you’re pretending you’re fine with me leaving, because you think I’m so fucked up and desperate to please that I’ll change my mind if you admit that you want me to.”

Cas pulls away from him. Dean hadn’t realized how close together they’d been until they aren’t any more.

“Dean…”

“It’s not fair!” Dean insists. “You know it’s not. We have to be free to feel sad, and be angry, and make mistakes without worrying someone we love is going to kill themselves over it.”

His heart bounds in his chest, pumping everything he’s held inside of it into his bloodstream. He feels braver than he ever has.

He thinks about Sam, fourteen and falling apart under the pressure of holding Dean’s psyche together.

“Cas, we have to learn to take care of ourselves, ‘cause we can’t take care of each other. We gotta stop hanging our happiness on other people, and then falling to bits when they let us down. They didn’t ever agree to be the way we measure our own self worth.”

With the same certainty that he knows Cas would never keep him against his will, he knows that Cas does not have the strength to make him leave if he decides not to. He can hear it in the heartbreak trailing down Cas’s cheeks.

It’s not fair to expect him to have that strength. It’s not fair, and it’s not love.

Love is choice.

Love is knowing that you can lean on someone without losing the ability to stand on your own. Love is knowing you can lean on someone without them falling apart.

You can’t lean on a person you’re holding up.

Dean knows, then, that if he allows himself to fall apart now, allows himself to be swayed, that Cas will not have the strength to make him leave, but he will also never show himself to Dean again.

Cas is trusting him to stay solid, to stay real, to not disintegrate like a hologram at the first sign of weight. He’s allowing Dean to look at him, trusting that his true face won’t turn Dean into stone.

Dean isn’t going to let it.

He takes in the image of Cas, red-eyed, blotchy skin. Calmed, now, but with still hitching breath. He lets it ingrain itself in his mind.

“Cas, I’m in love with you.”

He’s surprised at how steady his voice sounds, and how solemn.

And so Dean leaves, and Cas lets him leave, even though they love each other. That love manifests itself in their respective efforts to become better people, for each other and for themselves. It takes so much strength and so much courage to love someone like this, to change yourself for the better despite your fear, to let someone go even though you want them near just because it’s what they want and it’s the right thing to do. More than that, this is  REAL, it rings true to me: not a big romantic gesture, but hundreds of small, day to day ones; something that is not built in a moment but through a lifetime. 

3. A line that you can’t forget?

Every Christmas I reread  A Winter's Tale by NorthernSparrow .  There is a line in it that has been my mantra for years:

Many of the trees in the stores have an angel at the top. Always with its wings spread wide. A symbol of that hope, perhaps? A hope that spring will come again?

It spoke to me deeply. I kept looking at the little angels on the tops of the conifer trees and I thought, I've fallen off the tree. I want to get back on the tree.

I WILL get back on the tree. I WILL survive this winter. The sun WILL come back; for me, and for everyone; somehow, someday.

Another one that I can’t seem to forget is this:

Where I am from, finiteness does not diminish the value and pursuit of things. Just because something will end does not mean it is any less worthy of love and effort. Like flowers and trees and lovely things that grow.

I wrote it down while reading months ago and keep thinking about it, but I can’t find the story it’s from. It should be a Glorfindel/Legolas fic on ff.net, which is not at all my usual fare, but it was lovely, and this tiny extratct has so much wisdom in it.

4. A writer who inspires you/had an impact on your own writing?

The anwer to this will always be @awed-frog . But recently also @roselightfairy

5. A fic that made you cry?

Listen, I cry at most fics, Okay? So I’ll tell you which one didn’t make me cry:  The Life of Death by yellowturtle . When I finished reading it I had trouble breathing and I had to go out for a walk to avoid collapsing in a heap and sobbing for days. I’ll never understand why this story isn’t more well known.

6. A new author you found and subscribed to on AO3/followed on tumblr?

@roselightfairy (great gigolas) and tothewillofthepeople (awesome Les Miserables fics)

7. A fic that you wish would get more recognition?

All the ones I have mentioned here.

8. If you could pitch a fic (one of your own if you’re writing) to be turned into a script for the show, which one would you choose?

Another weird answer, but  Torn by Misachan . It’s dark but I would love to see a) Cas hurt by the angels b) Sam and Dean taking care of Cas c) Dean’s protectiveness and d) Dean FINALLY bringing up his past as a torturer in hell to put the fear of himself into someone who deserves it.

As for my own fics, I would love for something like  The Gold-shackled Singer, or the story of Erasmus and Kallias to be part of the Captive Prince universe.

9. A cracky prompt for anyone who stumbles across this and wants to write it?

I am not really in the mood for crack, but maaaaybe Sam and Crowley trying to get Dean and Cas together for Reasons, while Crowly is jealous and Sam is done with all of them.

10. The story that never fails to make you smile.

The Apple Thieves by: Lindir's Ghost   

It’s funny and happy and warm and the reason I know how to make cobbler.

11. A fic that you would rec to people outside fandom?

Probably  The Sawdust Men by linoresearch 

MY QUESTIONS

I am in a nostalgic mood after the holidays, so let’s talk about memories and childhood.

1) What is your first memory, if you remember?

2)The first time you realized something big (good or bad) was going on in the world?

3) The first book you remember reading

4) First movie you loved/were obsessed with

5) Your favourite game as a child

6) Favourite food as a child

7) Favourite song

8) Favourite fairy tale, if you had one

9)Do you remember your first day of school?

10) A childhood adventure

11) What did you want to be when you grew up?

Tagging @procasdeanating , in keeping with tradition (fill free to respond to your own questions too ;) ; @nevernotlikelove ; @maryshelleey ; @vengefulnoob ; @awed-frog ; @justsomeonerandom17 ; @leeaneea ; @pod7et ; @snovolovac ; @vivianecarstairs ; @roselightfairy and whoever else wants in.

This is meant to be fun, so obviously do it only if you want to.