#tumblr can only take 30 pics at a time

[lucdoodle]

I'd like to post the frames of my Moon Waltz Hazbin Hotel animatic somewhere, but even after trimming the micro-movements and stuff, it's still 290 pics and that's just a little too much to post

[itshermocrates]

POISON- Ep. 4 Analysis

I have no idea if someone has already done something like this but these two unfortunate souls have been in my mind since I watched the show TWO WEEKS AGO. So I'm gonna share with you this personal analysis of what we saw during the Poison scene in Ep. 4 of Hazbin Hotel.

Again, I don’t know if anyone has already talked about this (I’m not very active on tumblr), but I think that what we see as Angel sings Poison is made not only to tell us how the relationship Angel has with Valentino is but ALSO how it came to be thanks to everything that's happening on screen while he's singing.

Of course the lyrics are also important so I’ll make some reference to those as well, but I’ll focus mainly on what we see. Since I can only add 30 pics in this post this will be a bit difficult but I will try my best.

SOME CONTENT WARNINGS! I'm not sure if this is even necessary but anyways,,, Pychological abuse, abuse, violence, domestic violence, drugs, addiction, sex work, dubius consent, sexual violence, abusive relationship, unhealthy power dynamics, angst, suicidal ideas (hinted), etc.

Now, without further ado, let's begin!

Before the song, Valentino and Angel have a fight in his dressing room. I want to start here because during that fight Angel gets a black eye and we get to see how the walls of his room are filled, not only by security cameras, but also by a lot of eyes that follow Angel wherever he goes inside the room. We will see more of these eyes soon enough.

After that fight Angel sends Charlie back home and we see a bit more of what we could expect from Valentino with his manipulation tactics. The sweet tone and the praise as he embraces Angel from behind, too close and too intimate considering he will be soon forcing him to go back to work.

These are the tricks every abuser uses to manipulate and control the people around them, and it’s what Valentino uses all the time with Angel.

This is the behavior of an abusive boyfriend, a dynamic they have in the present, but once Poison starts, we are presented with their backstory. Now we will get to see how that dynamic is even possible, how these two ended up together and how their relationship started and evolved.

Valentino sits next to the movie director and everyone starts moving to prepare the scene they are about to film. He is the one in control here, the one calling for action again and deciding who does what and when. And just like that we see how Angel's black eye is concealed by makeup, erasing the marks of what had just happened and metaphorically erasing the violence of the relationship he is in now.

Angel closes his eyes in displeasure, focusing on what Valentino wants from him. When he opens his eyes again, his expression is completely different, this Angel without bruises, is not only a version of him from minutes ago, before the fight with Val, or even prior to the abuse… This is the Angel before Valentino.

He walks backwards, as if he was going back in time, moving easily with the playful shamelessness that characterized him back then. When he sings “I’m not above a love to cash in” he was most likely referring to his past as a sex worker or at least, as someone who didn’t mind to sell his affections to get what he needed/wanted. During this time, he would most likely go clubbing every night, since it offered a good way to earn easy money while he had a great time, partying, drinking, consuming…

Angel probably was the type of person who used those who desired him to get whatever he wanted, a game he knew how to play. Even if it could get risky or inconvenient, he was a free soul, he was still in control of what he did or didn't do with all those people, so at the end of the day, he always won. That’s what he believes as he playfully lays back on the setting’s bed again.

That had always been true after all, or at least it was until he came across someone that beated him at his own game. Someone who would take that freedom and control over his own body away from him.

His expression changes again to one of terror when a shadow looms over his body from outside the frame. That’s the silhouette of the men he was previously filming with, but we can also imagine that this figure suddenly changing the way he moves, reacts and feels, was meant to represent Valentino.

After the other actors surround him, and the scene fades to black, we are shown what could have been Angel's previous workplace. A stripclub where he danced for money and probably engaged in sex work in a somewhat safe and controlled environment. Back then he had become popular enough to be "the star" of his own show, and a performer good enough to get a reputation that would eventually reach the ears of one of the most powerful overlords in that district.

Valentino discovered him maybe by chance, or maybe not. Maybe he had heard of Angel Dust and wanted to see for himself if this dancer was as good and pretty as all those people said. And after watching him perform Valentino was the furthest from disappointed, he had enjoyed the show so much that he decided to take a closer look at this Angel Dust’s skills.

He approaches him, maybe as a client, or maybe just as a guy interested in what he had to offer, and although Angel doesn't trust him at first, he ends up entering his game.

He was just another man who wanted to fuck him, one that had enough money to spoil him all he had ever wanted and more. It was quite the opportunity for someone as low in the food chain as him, and Angel had already played with rich men like Valentino before, he knew what he was doing.

So Angel took the bait, and had sex with Valentino. Probably a blowjob in that same club he danced at that served as a test for Valentino.

Now we have a scene with two Valentinos, one that is about to get head from Angel with a video camera on his hand, and another Val standing behind the cameras and lights of what we now know to be another movie set. The first Val we saw, extending his hand before Angel when he finished his performance, was the Val of his past, the one he sucked off the night they met. That was someone Angel thought to be somewhat honest, or, at the very least a man he heavily underestimated.

It's the playful man that winks seductively at him in the set from afar with those red hot eyes he fell for, the same that quickly turns into a different guy with similar clothes (red jacket and white fur) now recording him on set. Someone who quickly became a stranger to Angel, just as he is for us, since we can’t even see his face.

The second Val it's the real one, the one standing next to the movie director watching everything with calculating eyes and a dangerous smile. That's the man who told Angel all those red hot lies he believed to be true, and the one judging with this first meeting if the spider was a worthy investment or not.

Angel proves to be good enough. Valentino likes him, and after that night he starts to actively pursue Angel but he didn’t do that as a simple client. He can tell Angel isn't a common whore, he has talent, charisma and he's been playing this game for long enough to know all the tricks. One can only become so successful in this world knowing how to play their cards well.

It’s obvious then what he has to do to turn Angel into his next movie star. Valentino needs to make him fall in love with him and make him believe that Valentino can love him just as much. This is exactly what he is going to do.

On screen we see how Valentino's sex pollen (he's a moth guys, it has to be sex pollen) starts to fill the scene, and as it expands it engulfs Angel, making us know just how captivated, how absorbed he will end up being.

Note: I know there’s a theory that says that Valentino’s power comes from his saliva or something like that and I haven’t read it or anything, but I do believe the smoke/fog that surrounds him has the same effect as the “sex pollen” trope. Or at least it’s similar.

The red fog expands all over the frame, emphasizing Valentino’s overpowering skills and charisma. When it clears, we see Angel in a different place while he sings the second line of the lyrics “What’s the worst part of this hell, I can only blame myself”.

His expression is one of pure anguish and regret, and he’s saying this while standing in front of Valentino in his apartment. He's talking about how naive he was for believing all of Valentino's lies, to truly believe that what he felt for Angel was love. He blames himself for buying this love story and falling for him so hard it made him very easy to manipulate. He regrets not having seen it before it was too late.

Because when Valentino’s back appears at the left corner of the frame, with an extended hand and smoke-made chains, it’s Angel the one who finally cuts the distance and accepts the chains Val is offering him.

Angel was too blinded by Valentino’s courting, by his sweet words and lovely gestures, but also by the constant push and pull of their dynamic, the flirting, the teases, the seduction. He loved the attention and he loved the sense of control, of power, he could feel when he was with Valentino, an overlord no less, a demon so rich and powerful he could have anyone he could have ever wanted. But Val had chosen him, him of all people.

This brief initial moment represents the regret he feels when he remembers how it all started, when Angel thinks about the beginning of their relationship, a time when everything seemed fine and their sexual chemistry made him lose all sense of reason. Because with Val everything ended up leading him to his bed.

After this short display of regret, we are presented a sequence made to represent the fantasy Angel indulged himself in, an illusion tinted in pink colors and fun costumes. This is the story Valentino had carefully created for him to make him fall in love with him, a story that made the spider feel so good when he was by his side, he could easily excuse any warning sign in his sight.

Because Angel would obviously want to be with Valentino when all he knew about him was his lover persona, a facade that portrayed him as a passionate lover and playful partner, his (soon to be) poison.

They had fun and even when Valentino showed little fragments of his true intentions and personality, Angel was too blinded to notice that he was starting to lose the very game he had considered himself a master of. Valentino and the relationship Angel had with him was addictive, so it didn't matter what happened, Angel always came back. You can think of this as the result of Valentino’s sex pollen, his charisma or a combination of both, depending on what flavor of angst is your favorite.

What we can know for sure, is that they were both performers in their own ways, both players in the game of love, so Angel could have excused and normalized a lot of things he shouldn't have. Knowing their line of work, of course that they could get a bit too intense every now and then, of course things could get a bit out of hand between them, they were just sooo dramatic.

It was that rollercoaster of emotions, the raw intensity of it all what ended up hooking Angel so much. The playfulness that could get a bit dangerous really fast, even if the Valentino he thought he knew would never really hurt him. Right?

A few little details I like about this sequence are the way we get to see Valentino’s home in the background and how the colors of his clothes and body are darker than usual but still lighter in comparison to what we will see in the following scenes, indicating how this was still the “nice” version of Valentino.

In the same way, Angel is playing with the chains bounding his wrists together, not his neck (yet), telling us that he’s playing with fire, quite literally dancing with the idea of being owned by Val, but he is still a free soul. In this moment he was falling hard and quick for Valentino’s lies, but he wasn’t his captive yet.

He’s having fun while being manhandled by Valentino, both physically and emotionally, but he still thinks of it as a game, another part of their sex life and how they naturally work as a couple. It’s exciting, it’s new and Angel loves it.

Not knowing that the longer he stays the more power is giving Val over him. Valentino is starting to show his true colors, in these last frames we can see that his figure is getting darker as Angel is slowly discovering the manipulative side of Val, the controlling and abusive nature he had been hiding from the spider since the beginning.

The push and pull continues as we see their silhouettes dancing, even if in reality this is Valentino pulling from his side of the chain to keep Angel close, to keep him with him.

After the shadows sequence, we get back to the playfulness Angel had shown when he took the chains for himself and started to tease Valentino. Only that this time, Val’s colors are darker and his touch more possessive, more aggressive. He’s groping him and even choking him while Angel sings “I made my choice and every night I’m living like there’s no tomorrow” with a grin, showing us how this was still a game for him.

He made his choice staying with Val because he loved him and he thought he was loved in return, when the moth had been only toying with him from the moment they first saw each other. This is Angel’s greatest regret, the fact that he truly believed Val’s lies, that despite all the warning signs he kept choosing him over and over again.

Choosing to stay, to kneel before Val, to obey him with the promise of a new wave of pleasure, a new high. Just as Valentino wanted him to do as we can see the vicious smile he wears during this entire sequence.

I think the next couple of seconds tells us how, for a while, they were together and Angel was still able to keep his job at the club. He was still allowed to see his friends (his coworkers most likely) and spend time with them, while Valentino made sure to feed all his previous bad habits and addictions, giving him gifts (we know Fat Nuggets was a gift from Val), a lot of money he could spend on a whim and eventually, probably the substances to use as well.

The smile on his face, the smugness of it, makes me think he’s telling his friends about this rich guy that pampers him in every way and treats him like a prince. He has found the ultimate Sugar Daddy, a man that has changed his life forever in the best way possible. Now he can have whatever he wants, party for days without having to worry about not having enough money to eat at the end of the month or a place to stay.

Angel would have used drugs before, maybe occasionally, maybe only at parties, maybe to get the worst bits of his job done, maybe he was already a bit of an addict, but it’s now, when he has the means to consume every night that he definitely becomes one.

Valentino made sure of it.

During this time, Valentino would secure the control he had over Angel, weakening his mind and will by worsening his addiction problem while continuing convincing him of how much he loved him. The parties were incredible, the sex was amazing, and Angel felt on top of the world at every moment. He was “living like there’s no tomorrow” without realizing the higher he raised above the ground, the hardest would be his fall.

And maybe this is just me over analyzing a kinky moment, but after this, after Valentino bites Angel causing him a wince of pain and maybe even making him bleed, everything changes.

They are having sex, far from the flashing lights, they are together as Anthony and Val, as the real person who oftenly hides behind his stage persona. The person who is deeply in love with Valentino, who is vulnerable and allows his lover to hurt him however he wants because he trusts that the pleasure that follows will be worth it.

But after that bite, he’s no longer in bed with Val, he's in the same bed from the very beginning of this music video, surrounded by lights, disoriented and confused… As if he was expecting Valentino to be between his legs and not this stranger.

When he finally comes to his senses and sits, we hear for the first time the line “My story’s gonna end with me dead from your poison”. This was the beginning of the end of their honeymoon phase and the point of no return. Valentino had considered Angel weakened enough to take a step further, and a new part of him is finally uncovered when he carefully introduces Angel to the porn industry. He would do so (probably) while Angel was too intoxicated and definitely too blindly in love to know what he was doing.

Valentino becomes this overwhelming shadow that covers Angel’s body, a silhouette he can’t escape from, and when we are shown what Angel sees, we can no longer see the color of Valentino’s clothes. His colorful persona, his facade of playful lover it’s no longer in place, he has stopped pretending and acting as the good boyfriend the spider had always wanted. Now before Angel there’s only the demon that owns thousands of souls, a vicious drooling smile and sharp red eyes. An overlord to fear and be intimidated by.

The background is filled with filming equipment, and even if Valentino’s body language is meant to appear welcoming, Angel feels terrified. This is not the Valentino he knew, and now he is completely trapped. He can’t refuse now, this is a choice he is being forced to make even if his soul still technically belongs to him.

After being pressured, Angel becomes part of this industry, and although he doesn’t really like it, he still trusts Valentino enough to not run away. The overlord can be scary, but he still believes that he’s safe with him, that if Val is by his side nothing wrong could ever happen to him. And after all, he had done sex work before, right? What difference did it make to fuck strangers for money in front of a camera now?

He’s not comfortable, and every day that intimidating side of Valentino that wasn’t really there before grows darker, fiercer and scarier. Angel had seen the ugliness of Valentino before, as a man, as a possessive boyfriend, as a controlling partner, but never as the powerful demon he truly was. So he still obeys Val and features in a few movies of his choice.

We can see these doubts, Angel’s discomfort and even a bit of his trust in Valentino at the beginning of the next sequence, when they appear on the set of a different movie.

Angel was a performer, he had faked his own pleasure before, he could do it again now, and he could do it while earning way more money. He could do so, because he knew Valentino was there, guiding him, helping him, making sure his lover was safe. He always thought that Val was looking out for him, making sure he was getting the right roles in the right movies, the right contracts, and when he was nervous, Valentino was right by his side to comfort him.

But Valentino had never cared about Angel’s safety. And once Angel started to voice his doubts or show his discomfort, he made sure he couldn’t do it for much longer. The comfort Angel sought for was quickly replaced by something chemical, something that eased his nerves but also left him dazed and disoriented.

It was then that Valentino drugged him, tricked him and made him sign the contract that would leave him with only half a soul inside his chest.

Valentino had fed Angel’s addiction for a long time, adding to the mix not only the illusion of a love story, but also his own drug, his sex pollen, something that numbed the spider’s mind enough to go through all the things Valentino wanted him to do in front of the camera. Oftenly Angel was left too intoxicated to respond, too vulnerable and weak. In his last moments of lucidity he always could see Valentino, his lover, the man he thought would always take care of him, turning his back to him and leave him.

Valentino is the last thing he sees before everything fades to black around him, before he disappears. He’s no longer Anthony or Angel Dust, the stage persona, now the lines between those two different identities blurry beyond repair, and the person he becomes is a little more Angel Dust and a lot less Anthony.

I don’t think that it was just a coincidence that they used a BDSM scene to represent the moment Angel definitely lost control of his actions, his body and most likely also his soul. BDSM is all about power dynamics and the control that’s exchanged between consenting partners, only that, in this case, Angel didn’t really have a choice and there was no consent. This lack of control and safety is emphasized precisely by the type of session Angel is forced into.

He’s restrained in every way possible, he’s tied up, a blindfold covers his eyes and a gag is forced onto his mouth, one that would prevent him from closing it no matter how much he tried. He has no way to end the scene, no way to say a safeword, to complain or to stop what other people do with him or to him.

This is meant to represent the moment he signed the contract, and how he felt every time he entered the set of a new movie after he signed it. He stopped being his own person, he had disappeared, and what had been left of him was nothing but a sex toy for Valentino to control in each of his productions.

Now we see the Angel Dust that survived this state of numbness and dissociation, the one that has consumed Anthony just so he could keep himself alive.

While Angel Dust dances, seemingly enjoying the show, performing as he has always done, in the background screens we see what’s left of Anthony, of the boy feeling trapped and used with no single way out of it. This is accompanied by more fragments of that BDSM scene that changed it all, since that was a traumatic event that repeats itself in Angel’s mind every time Valentino forces him into a new role, a new movie, a new lie.

These frames show us not only the stress Angel is feeling, but also how Valentino is always there to exploit his body in the way he deems more profitable. We know this because he appears in between Angel’s anguish, but also because the same eyes that covered his dressing room walls are in the background while someone fucks Angel from behind.

While this happens we hear again “I made my choice”, a reminder of Angel’s regrets, shame and guilt. In addition the line “Every night I’m living like there’s no tomorrow” now has slightly changed, indicating the shift in Angel’s life and condition as no longer a free soul. What we hear now is  “Every night I’m wasted like there’s no tomorrow”.

Where once he was happy, he’s now desperate, begging to get a way out.

We see a bit more of the playful performer, Angel Dust, and the pain of Anthony in the background before Valentino approaches him again like a great imposing figure, putting an end to his show.

The second Angel notices Valentino, distress becomes clear all over his face. He points to the left, outside of what we can see, and when he tries to escape, Valentino grabs him and pulls him closer.

He has finally come face to face with the real Valentino in all his twisted glory and he wants to run away. He knows now that what they had wasn’t love, it had never been, and it’s painful. But he’s afraid of Valentino, he can’t do anything to escape his contract and he now belongs to him (at least while they’re on set).

That last frame with Valentino embracing him, a vicious smile on his face in contrast with Angel’s terrified expression puts an end to their story, to the narration of how they came to be what they are now. After that, we are presented to the aftermath, the Angel that’s no longer intoxicated by his poison and can only dread the many past choices he would like to change.

He is now fully aware that there’s no way out of his hell, that for as long as he is alive he will be Valentino’s toy. He’s destroyed in every way, his mind is a mess too dependent on the drugs Valentino has been feeding him to properly think, and his body has stopped to feel as his own a long time ago.

How could he consider that pile of bones, fur and chemically loosen up muscles as his own? He’s disgusted, drowning in this feeling of helplessness.

And he’s even more grossed out when he notices the remains of Valentino’s poison, his drug, still lingering on his tongue. He’s so lost, he doesn’t even recognize himself. This is not where he was supposed to be, he shouldn’t be in Valentino’s apartment, he doesn’t want to be there anymore.

The substance that once had brought him so much joy, such a delicious bliss, now slips past his lips burning his skin like acid. The itch reminds him of the reason why he’s there, and he can only feel pain. The only cause for most of his problems had always been his addiction. To Val, the sex they had, his poison, the drugs he bought for him…

No matter how hard he tries to get used to this life he has with Val now, he simply can’t do it. It doesn’t matter how many movies he appears in, they are never enough, they will never be enough for the overlord. Because he’s nothing but a tool to make Valentino and the other Vs even richer and more powerful.

That’s Valentino’s business and what initially made him get close to Vox. They complimented each other and together they felt capable of ruling Hell like that was their birthright. A power Angel would never get to know firsthand, because for Valentino he was nothing but another whore to use, exploit and eventually discard.

Angel is sick of it, is tired of living a life he hates, a lonely life full of pain and abuse, all caused by the person he loved the most.

He has spent years trapped in the V Tower, watched by the countless cameras placed in every wall and every corner of his prison. Even when he’s not on set, controlled by Valentino and his team, he feels Vox lenses following all of his movements, and despite the luxury he lives in, every day he goes to sleep wishing to never wake up.

That's all, folks. I hope you liked it, or at least got as sad as I felt while analyzing this. Again this is all what I could understand from that segment of the episode I don't know if y'all already knew this but I did wanted to share it. If you liked this check my bird app account bc there is where I spend most of my online time or my Ao3 profile, although I post mostly Skfs content now <3

[myysaints]

°˖ ⊹ ꒰ YT22 ꒱ REAL OR NO? ─ YUKI TSUNODA

... (PART TWO)

YUKI TSUNODA x f!japanese!kpop idol!reader

⌗︙・ summary — you’ve known yuki tsunoda all your life, but the world doesn’t know that. so when your relationship is accidentally called into the spotlight, fans understandably freak out – after all, who thought that these two worlds would collide?

genre — social media au, fc: sakura from le sserafim

notes — part two is here!!! the tumblr 30 or wtv image limit is so annoying, it's the whole reason why i had to split the fic over two parts 😭 the link to part one is here if you haven't read it! hope u enjoy xx

le_sserafim has uploaded to their story.                    19s

yourusername

Liked by yukitsunoda0511, pierregasly, alphataurif1, and 17,281,003 others

🏷  yukitsunoda0511

yourusername  very much real ❤️

view all 4,271,552 comments

yukitsunoda0511  愛してる (I love you) ❤️

yourusername  ❤️❤️ 너무 사랑해요 (I love you so much)

alphataurif1  welcome to the family y/n!

yourusername  thank you 🍀🍀 see u guys next year!!!

sserasseraynln  lost my wife to a man whose job is driving in circles….

pastrypiastri  mama y papa fr

yerieseuls  …okay FINE they’re cute 😭😭😭😭

yukitsunoda0511

Liked by yourusername, pierregasly, charles_leclerc, and 19,293,446 others

🏷  yukitsunoda0511

yukitsunoda0511  I’ve known Y/N almost my whole life. We grew up together, she lived across the road from me. From the moment I met her I knew she was going to be a very special person in my life. Little did 5 year old me know that she would become the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with! Y/N, you have made me the happiest person alive. I’m so proud of you and how far we have both come. I can’t believe I’ve gotten to be the one you call home for almost 8 years now. I love you no matter how near or far you are, how early or late in the day it is for me, how happy or sad you are. Seeing you perform is the most magical thing, and I hope that I can bring the same happiness when I win in Suzuka again next year 😁 I know i say this all the time when I’m with you, but I can’t help it - 愛してる. I love you. 사랑해. Thankyou for making me the happiest me possible ❤️

view all 11,236,877 comments

ynlnupdates  OH MY GOD????????

yourusername  surprise? 🫣 ynlnupdates  OHHHHHHH MY GOD x10

yourusername  yuki 😭😭😭 when you said you were writing a paragraph i didn’t think you meant an entire love letter oml, i would have written a better caption for my post!!!!

yukitsunoda0511  your caption was perfect, short and sweet (like you) yourusername  🥹❤️ landonorris  throwing up in my mouth rn 🤣 yourusername  shhh lando the adults are talking landonorris  💀💀

danielricciardo  RUE WHEN WAS THIS????

yukitsunoda0511  …whoops? 😅 danielricciardo  Throwing you into the Monaco harbour again next year 🙄❤️ yourusername  take pics!!!! yukitsunoda0511  💔

charles_leclerc  Proud to say that I was one of the few who knew!

yukitsunoda0511  Only because you wouldn’t leave us alone in Suzuka 😭 we had to TELL YOU you were third wheeling mate

pierregasly  Why am I only just finding out about this????? 8 years lil bro?????

yukitsunoda0511  You calling me “lil bro” is why I didn’t tell you btw. pierregasly  …Do you hear that??? … That’s the sound of my heart breaking… pierregasly  Now check your text messages mate we need to meet up and HAVE A CHAT luvssainz  pierre is totally that friend that is always down to listen to tea 24/7 yourusername  correct ✅ pierregasly  Don’t out me like that! francisca.cgomes  sorry but she’s right mon cher 🤷‍♀️

yourusername  love you forever my クマ ❤️🧸

pierregasly  whatsthat yukitsunoda0511  Bear in Japanese pierregasly  Imma start calling you that too yukitsunoda0511  Please don’t. yourusername  sorry pierre, クマ is reserved for me only yukitsunoda0511  yeah, only for ハニー (honey). ❤️

© myysaints

[prettyoddfever]

heyyy again! i read somewhere that fans used to make there own panic! merch for shows when they just started touring and i was wondering if you had photos of any? or any merch that was put out by the band in 05/06/07 for afycso?

I did this post earlier but now tumblr lets us put 30 pics in a post yay. I'll add a few more random pics here. And then any merch will wind up in this tag when I get around to it.

I included the pink shirt that Pete wore in April 2005 because a fan named Ashley Rehnblom made that for him.

Many of these shirts were made before the band even started touring, which is why The Only Difference is often referenced (that was the first complete song that the band shared in August 2005). The Relax Relapse demo & It's Time To Dance demo were also popular references. Panic had merch available at their first show ever and the FBR webstore had started selling a decent variety of merch for them even during the Take Cover tour (although the shirts were still marginally cheaper at shows). So some fans made shirts for the earliest shows because they couldn't get official merch yet, while other fans made shirts throughout the Fever era because it was just fun and/or cheaper.

update: I just realized that I can add *another* 30 examples if I reblog this post omg. ok I'm going to rearrange a bit here...

[girlbloggercher]

new year, new you: how to be your best self

every year, we say that we'll do this, we'll stop doing that, etc. but do we ever do it? no. and if we do, it's only temporary. you can't lose weight, be nicer, study more, etc., if you wait and wait and wait until next year and procrastinate again. so, how can you be your best self?

1. stop procrastinating

a few months ago, i watched a video on how to stop procrastinating. and long story short, you can't wait until you're ready, you have to make yourself do it. there is no such thing as feeling 'ready.' you have to be ready, you have to tell yourself "i'm ready." that's the only way to achieve your goals.

2. make your goals realistic

if you have a goal to lose weight, don't set your goal as 'lose 300 pounds by march.' that doesn't even sound right. first of all, that means you're losing more than 3 pounds a day, which is not healthy. second, you're going to kill yourself. i'm serious. both the physical and psychological stress will kill you.

3. stop doubting yourself

if you make your goals realistic like i told you to, then there literally should be no reason to doubt yourself. what the hell are you scared of? failing? failure is apart of success. have you ever heard the term 'opposites attract?' it references dating, but it also applies to life. if you only have good things happen, you won't be prepared for failure and you won't know how to deal with it. but if you fail, you'll know how to get back up again.

4. make vision boards

you can either make one vision board for the whole year. or, you can make one for each month, like me. i like to go on pinterest for pics, and i find a few on tumblr, but mainly pinterest. vision boards are a good way to help you visualize what you want your life to look like.

5. make it a habit

if you want to, make january your time to practice. make your goals habits first. it only takes 30 days to develop a habit.

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

Yesterday, over 100 funerals were held in the small community of kibbutz Be'eri. Just one community. Hamas rockets were also fired yesterday at the kibbutz. We can't even bury our dead in peace.

At least 133 of the murdered were not Jewish. Yoseph Haddad, an Israeli Muslim Arab, gives his perspective:

This following pic is so on point for way too many people on Tumblr:

For the record, "It's wrong, but..." doesn't count as speaking out against the cold-blooded murder of Jews in their homes.

I'm writing about certain aspects less, but Israeli society has been FULL of beautiful gestures and acts of kindness. One example is a mother who had lost her only son to Hamas terrorists a few years ago, and who opened a free "supermarket" for Israelis running out of food and water, especially from among the evacuees. Another is a Bedouin family, who uploaded a video inviting anyone of the Jews who had been turned homeless to come and stay with them. These gestures from among the Israeli Arabs, Bedouins and Druze are the most beautiful ones to me. They're proof that we want and we CAN live here together, peacefully. Sadly, at least one such gesture was "punished." An Arab shop owner decided to donate 30 bicycles to Jewish kids from the south who had lost their homes. In retaliation, his shop was broken into, robbed, and then set on fire. What moves me the most is that even after that, he said he doesn't regret his decision, and will continue to contribute to Israeli society.

I want to say something about the warning that was given to Palestinians to evacuate the northern part of Gaza.

If Israel had started bombing that area with the intention of destroying Hamas facilities there, but without giving any warning, it would have killed a lot of civilians, and the reaction of the world would have been to decry Israeli actions. When Israel is giving them warning to move out, so that they're not killed in the bombings (and when they CAN return to their land once the fighting is done), Israel is still denounced, and I've seen people calling this by all sorts of horrendous terms (that don't actually apply). If Israel is being portrayed as evil whether we give a warning or not, what that means is that people are just not okay with Israel acting against Hamas in any capacity.

Except Israel doesn't actually have a choice. We tried to have one! That's what the border fence was for. We invested billions of shekels in building it. Money that could have gone to school, to hospitals, to rehabilitation programs, to all sorts of purposes that could have made Israeli society better, and save Israeli lives outside of the context of this conflict. Every Israeli patient whose life could have been saved if out medical system was better, for example, is one of the "invisible victims" of the conflict IMO. We spent so much money on the fence to stop Hamas, so that we wouldn't have to go into Gaza and fight to eliminate that organization. Such fighting would have ended in a loss of life for Israelis and for Gazans, so instead we built that fence. It was technologically the most advanced it could be. It still didn't stop Hamas. They built terror tunnels that brought them to the fence without being spotted on the surface, they had bombs that it seems they planted at the border during their "protests" near the fence, they had suicide drones that took out all of the electronic surveillance along the fence, leaving Israel "blind" as the infiltration of thousands of terrorists into its territory began, and they had intel on where the security forces are, to take them out first and leave the civilians vulnerable to rape, mutilation, kidnappings and murder.

In other words, there is no fence, there is no barrier that can stop Hamas. And without that, it's only a matter of time before carnage like this WILL happen again.

I am scared. For the families of the hostages, the thought of the fighting, where Israeli or Hamas fire might kill there loved ones, must be particularly difficult. Innocents will die on both sides when the ground action will start. That's always terrible, but for a country still counting and trying to identify its dead, that's a particularly gruesome truth. That we're sending some of our 18 year olds to die in order to keep the babies safe. Knowing that every one of these 18 year olds is somebody's baby. Every day, every hour that passes allows Hamas to dig in, to prepare and to lay traps for our soldiers. And yet the ground action has not started yet, because we want to give the Palestinians in the northern part of Gaza a chance to flee.

You can dislike the coming loss of life. We all do. I am shrinking with internal pain just thinking about it. But please stop painting the Israeli military reaction as if it's just a senseless revenge driven by blood lust. It's not. At least understand our perspective. To us, it's a fight for our lives. It's a fight for our lives that, no matter what, we will pay for with the lives of some of our loved ones.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[sissy-princess-maddi-femme]

Hi ladies! Sorry it took me so long to post this, but here it is, it's caption contest time! Just as a quick heads up, this is going to be a little different than other contests that I've seen in Tumblr cause I'm trying to kinda do my own thing and not copy others, but with that being said, feel free to give suggestions and everything as this gets going, I'm totes open to making things better however I can! Anyways, here are the big changes from what I've seen on Tumblr previously:

1.) Instead of everyone using the same pictures, I am going to post 30 cute/sexy photos after this for you all to choose from. Please also feel free to use any that you may have as well, if you want to participate, my pics are just for a jumping off point.

2.) As far as posting, feel free to post them on your own blogs obvi, but if you lovely creators are alright with it, I'd love to compile all of the amazing caps on my Tumblr with all of you cuties tagged so that there is an easy place to find them all. If you sweethearts are alright with this, just DM me your amazing works and I'll take care of the rest. (Again, feel 100% free to post on your own too, I don't want to step on any dainty feet there lol and if you want to only post on your own Tumblr just use the same tag on this post along with whatever else you'd like)

3.) Lastly, I'm hoping to continue to do this every so often (If there is enough interest obvi, so we'll see), but with that I think maintaining a theme will be important. So with this being a sissy blog, and it being close to Halloween 👻🎃 please keep it at least somewhat Halloween related if you can, as well as sissy related too. lol I won't turn anyone away if you don't, just sort of a suggestion.

4.) Oopsies, lol one more, I may write a few of my own, but to challenge myself a bit and have some fun with non captioners too, if any of you beautiful humans have ideas but you don't want to write the captions yourself, send them my way and I'll do my best to make your ideas a reality!

Sorry for the long post girls, but please feel free to reach out with any questions and again let me know if there is possibly any additions you sweethearts might think would be good! I think it would be fun to have all of these captions together and posted on Halloween for a little treat lol, so if you are going to send me ideas please try to send them to me before the 27th, and if you are going to make captions and send them to me to post please have them to me by the 30th! I hope you're all excited, and please, have fun! Sissy captions are fun and sexy so enjoy yourselves ladies!

-XOXO Maddi

[mommy-aiko]

Task For Your Bottom

This task is meant to take an otherwise normal road trip and use it to enforce what you really are, a diaper filling baby.

For this task you’ll need

Thick diapers

Plenty of water

A couple suppositories

A pacifier

For this task your going on a road trip… in diapers. Before you set out you’re going to drink at least 1 litre of water and then push a couple of suppositories into your bottom before putting your diaper on. Every hour you’re going to drink a litre of water, otherwise you get to suck on your paci, if your pacifiers not in your mouth your drinking water, if your not drinking water your sucking on your paci like a good little bab.

Your going to make the trip without pants because pants are for big boys and girls and that’s not you, is it? What you are allowed to wear is a nice short skirt…or you can earn some bonus points with Mommy if you wear an adorable frilly sissy dress…and Mommy wants a diaper check every half hour, that means pulling over every 30 minutes and taking a diaper pic for tumblr. The only time your allowed to wear pants is when you arrive at your destination and have to pretend to be a grown up again. The only time you’re allowed a change is when your diaper leaks.

So to recap the rules

No pants allowed

1 litre of water every hour

Diaper pic every 30 minutes

Mandatory pacifier

Only change when leaky

Now be a good little diaper filler for Mommy and enjoy the trip baby. 💋

[mcrcosplay]

HAHA GUESS WHO FORGOT ABOUT HIS COSPLAY BLOG AGAIN OH NOOO.

The only upside is I can get the video more to my liking then my other posts...

Anyways NYCC was a blast this year! They're still scaling back all the actual cool stuff so the show floor was a huge pile of meh.

Cosplay scene was rad for a Sunday. It felt weird not going as a kamen rider or either flavor of ranger but there's always next year.

Toku wise I only ran into some honestly amazing king ohgers. And I finally took pics of someone else at a big con!

Uuuhhhhh anyways lethal company was a pretty big hit on the floor. Tons of compliments and bits, not a ton of pics but that was people being considerate of the crowds.

I had to get a across the water skyline shot.

Finally.... the skybox....

I got really lucky finding this helmet model when I did. Though this cosplay group had rubber masks? I was jealous honestly. It was hot as hell in a full printed helmet.

But I lasted 30 minutes straight with it on which was cool! I had to take my tank off though it was a show floor nightmare.

ALSO I GOT PICS WITH OTHER LC COSPLAYERS. Wish I got pics with all of them I saw.

Anyways uh jp bro rules. I didn't ask for media permission and I'm not posting someone's face without express consent so uh!

Tumblr-ly secret. Because I expect no notes. They were cool though! Hand made suits and signs really sealed the deal.

Also my cool friend Charlotte who isn't on here because of the car hammer man was upset I didn't point at the skybox so I took these on the way back. I got vetoed on walking to the edge of the dock.

Oh. You made it through the rambling. Congrats! Here's those king ohger cosplayers I mentioned, as a treat.

But holy shit last years super sentai at nycc! It was cool as hell!!

Every time I see rad as hell tokusatsu cosplay it's always when I'm not in one myself...

They were on point though, 10/10.

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Sacred Mountain date + calls + moments translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

'I know that there must be things in the world that are unknowable.'

'I never set my heart on those illusory protections and blessings, only hoping for those silent bystanders to witness our smooth and winding journey through life.'

'But if there truly is something that can hear the sound of prayers, I hope they can give her a miracle.'

[Pre-Evolve phone call- All path is fortunate]

(T/N: IT’S VERY IMPORTANT TO HEAR THIS CALL FIRST so the date will make more sense)

[Date – Video ver]

(T/N: As always, I always recommend watching the video for a more comprehensive experience. Personally, I really like how tender and affectionate he sounds in this one and the bgm choice is good to set the mood~ Don’t forget to turn on CC!

If the direct video doesn't work - [Use this link]

(Besides, tumblr doesn't allow us to use an old text editor anymore so I can't add up more than 30 pics in this post. Tumblr post alone won't capture the change in background and sprite as usual(for reference I always have like 60+ pic in one post LOL))

[Date – Transcript ver]

[Part 1]

Lucien: MC, how are you?

The whole world is incredibly dizzy; waves of nausea and headaches erode my will, making breathing a little uncomfortable.

I lie in bed in a daze, trying to lift the corners of my mouth under his worried gaze, and I accept the medicine he hands me.

MC: It's just a little bit uncomfortable, but resting for a while should make it better.

MC: As expected, I shouldn't take flights directly next time. A train would be a better option even if it's slower…

After swallowing the medicine, I comfortingly tilt my head against him, feeling his warm fingertips brush against my cheeks and spine, guiding me as I slowly lay back down.

Lucien: (with a trace of guilt in his tone)…I'm very sorry.

MC: What are you sorry for?

MC: This was a decision and journey we both made together. I won't accept you shouldering all the responsibility on your own.

=Flashback Start=

MC: Hehe, this little pig looks even cuter than in the picture!

A month ago, I enthusiastically helped Lucien replace the phone case with a new one I bought for him.

After putting it on, I happily picked up my own phone, leaning against the side of the cabinet, and showed it off to Lucien who was washing dishes.

The two pink and chubby PUPU piglets are symmetrically posed, looking adorable and charming.

Lucien: (chuckle) Your taste has always been quite good.

MC: But if your colleagues see Professor Lucien using such a cute phone case, won't they think you're childish?

MC: Will I ruin your image?

Lucien: Whether it's childish or not, I don't think it can be reflected in a small phone case.

Lucien: Besides, their judgment doesn't hold much significance to me either.

Lucien: Forming the same scenery with another 'little piglet' appears to bring more happiness.

MC: Then let our brilliant Professor Lucien accompany me to be a 'happy little piglet' for a few months~

I couldn't help but laugh and noticed that Lucien's phone suddenly vibrated. A work approval notification popped up on the screen.

MC: It says that your colleague has arrived... take a look.

Lucien: Just go ahead and take a look for me.

He spoke casually, skillfully squeezing some dishwashing detergent onto a dishcloth, and then picking up a plate next to it to continue washing.

Receiving the "instructions," I naturally tapped open the message on the screen.

MC: It seems like a researcher named... Luo Ke wants to apply for a two-day vacation, saying he wants to travel to Tibet…

Lucien: Please approve it for me.

Seeing his familiar attitude, I didn't ask further questions. I simply pressed the "approve request" button silently.

Meanwhile, Lucien blinked slightly, his hand movements slowing down as he seemed to be contemplating something as well.

MC: You're not going to ask a few more questions about such a distant trip?

Lucien: This isn't his first time going there; he must have been there at least... more than ten times.

Lucien: Every time he's waiting for particularly important experimental results or article review feedback, he runs over there.

The last plate was placed in the dish rack, and Lucien wiped his hands. He took the phone and opened someone's social media feed for me.

Over the past few years, there were only a few posts, but almost all of them were various types of snowy mountain landscapes.

Lucien: It's evident that the place must have quite an appealing charm.

Lucien: It's probably indeed a miraculous place…

He paused, his tone tinged with a curiosity born from long-term observation.

MC: So, after he goes there, does he always have positive outcomes?

Lucien: Not necessarily.

Lucien: Moreover, I believe those favorable outcomes within the expected range reflect his dedicated and meticulous work ethic, which significantly reduces errors.

Lucien: However... (chuckle) Many times, science does indeed encounter unforeseeable things.

Hearing him say that, I also became curious.

Our gazes met, and we captured remarkably similar emotions in each other's eyes.

MC: How about we go there too—!

=Flashback End=

MC: But I've been exercising so diligently, taking the oral solution as prescribed, and yet I still got altitude sickness. It's frustrating.

MC: I saved time by taking a plane, only to spend it all on the bed…

Lucien: (chuckle) It's alright, we're not in a hurry to leave. Let's rest a bit more.

He adjusts the pillow, making me lie more comfortably, then leans down to gently kiss the corner of my mouth.

Lucien: Don't worry, I can always be your "oxygen" whenever you need it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Part 2]

MC: I'm revived—!

After a night of rest, I feel much more refreshed the next day.

Lucien: Don't push yourself too hard. If you're feeling uncomfortable anywhere, make sure to let me know promptly.

MC: Got it. Once I get in the car, I'll cling to the oxygen tank.

I smile and sit in the passenger seat of the off-road vehicle that Lucien had rented in advance. Holding a small oxygen concentrator, I playfully shake my head at him.

Lucien also smiles, and we officially embark on our impromptu journey of curiosity.

Because of our unique random drawing system, we aren't heading to various popular attractions.

One of the destinations is Namtso Lake, where Luo Ke often goes, and the other is a snowy mountain selected by me through a random number selection.

The straight highway stretches forward, piercing through the distant expanse of blue sky.

The vast wilderness extends, and large masses of cumulus clouds join the surging herd of cattle, painting an exceptionally magnificent "Running Bulls".

The distant snow-covered mountains gradually impress upon the retina, resembling a distant and graceful maiden. The staggered peaks have been carved with fine craftsmanship, creating soft and graceful diagonal lines.

The deep and light sapphire blue blends from beneath the mountain peaks to above the sky, mingling in the middle and accentuating the pure white with a sense of sanctity.

I can't help but take a breath, letting this indescribable beauty fill my entire field of vision.

MC: When I was watching the video, I could probably guess why someone would choose to come here so many times.

MC: But now I completely feel it.

MC: The scenery on the way to Namtso Lake is also incredibly beautiful!

Lucien: Perhaps I should remind this classmate that our journey has only just begun.

He lightly presses the accelerator, and the vast land in the uninhabited area gradually sheds all its splendor, revealing its simple exterior.

And a vast expanse of blue quickly appears before my eyes.

MC: Are we almost there?

The vast world brings everything close as if it was always this near.

Lucien: Don't rush, there's still some distance to go.

Lucien: The place Luo Ke visited before is now closed, so we need to find another convenient place to stay.

The winding road leads us along the snow-capped mountains, revealing their magnificence even more. We drive alongside them, receiving a sense of being overlooked quietly.

After going through a somewhat bumpy road, Lucien temporarily parks the car on the side of the road and opens the carried drone.

And I carefully step out of the car, the cool and thin air making me slightly breathless, but it doesn't diminish my enthusiasm in the slightest.

While adjusting the frequency of my breaths, I take a few steps toward the vast bay of the lake.

Layer upon layer of mountains stands above the sea of blue, towering into the clouds.

The world seems to have turned into a sacred palette, where the Creator has reserved the purest colors for this place, bringing serenity to all things.

It's an exceptionally wonderful feeling, everything in front of me seems so distant and immense.

And my small self becomes like a grain of sand on a tidal flat, a drop of water in the lake, gazing up and silently embraced within it.

I unconsciously slowed down my breath. I turn my head and notice that Lucien had appeared by my side at some point.

His gaze is distant, reaching toward the far horizon. The subtle snowy backdrop frames him as if it's also blending him into this pure scenery.

Perhaps sensing my gaze, Lucien turns his face and looks into my eyes.

For a moment, neither of us speaks, as if words are the least significant part of our gaze.

His fingertips gently stroke up, like delicately traced kisses.

I don't know if it's because of this ethereal world, but I feel a certain piousness in his touch.

MC: Being able to come here with you and see these landscapes, there's nothing better than this.

Lucien: I should say, it's you who brought this unparalleled beauty to me.

MC: So your sleeping bag is for sleeping directly in the car?

MC: I thought you were only going to use it for a quick nap in the car.

As the sky darkens, after Lucien finds a place to park the car, I watch in surprise as he takes out a spare coat and sleeping bag, then folds down the back seats of the off-road vehicle.

Lucien: (chuckle) That was the original plan. I just changed my mind suddenly.

Lucien: Don't worry, its thickness is enough to keep both of us warm.

MC: I'm not worried about that at all. I was just wondering why Professor Lucien suddenly wanted to change the plan.

He simply smiles and hugs me, both of us slipping into the sleeping bag together.

Lucien: Although we came here out of curiosity, this journey belongs to us.

Lucien: I also want to be with you, to see more of the extraordinary beauty together.

MC: But it's not easy to see the scenery.

The air is chilly, and in the pitch-black darkness, I can't help but snuggle closer into Lucien's embrace.

Lucien: (chuckles) I suppose all beautiful things require sufficient time and effort to gradually form.

Lucien: Regardless, it's a pity that you didn't get to see the sunset at Namtso Lake, and even the stars have hidden themselves.

There's a rare touch of regret in his tone. Thick clouds obscure most of the sky, hastening the arrival of the night.

Outside the car window, there's an absolute silence. The heavy darkness fills the entire scene, not even a single starlight is visible.

It's as if everything has been gathered within this car, with the only exception being the gentle, faint interplay of light and shadows emanating from the car's display screen. The world outside has shut itself off, closing its windows to our view.

MC: But I did get to see such a unique night.

I lift my head from his shoulder with a smile, gazing into the hidden depths of his eyes.

MC: Spending the night like this in the wilderness is quite special too.

Lucien: I'm also glad to share such a miraculous experience with you.

Lucien: Although I've seen many landscapes, this kind of darkness appears especially beautiful.

MC: You're exaggerating. Professor Lucien can come here on his own too, right?

Lucien: (chuckles then speaks in a coquettish tone) It won't be the same.

He hugs me even tighter as if we too have melded together like the night.

Lucien: You have given them real significance, making them a sort of destiny.

Lucien: (softly) I think, there's nothing better than experiencing all of this together with you.

Even though everything is incredibly dark, I seem to see him more clearly, and he seems to see right through me as well.

MC: So many good things have happened around us. Maybe we've been blessed all along.

MC: Do you believe that?

Lucien: There's a possibility for the existence of everything that can't be proven, just as there's a possibility for their nonexistence.

MC: As expected of the rigorous Professor Lucien.

I smile and bury myself deeper into his embrace, feeling his familiar body temperature warming me amid this boundless cold.

MC: Then I hope I can see the miraculous "Golden Mountain" with you tomorrow morning.

MC: I hope that while we whisper our wishes, the snowy mountains can hear them and allow us to witness even more beauty together.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

But the snowy mountains seem to only want to listen to our whispers.

The thick clouds densely conceal the endless expanse of snowy white behind them, and the morning air is bone-chillingly cold.

The thin air forces me to hold onto the small portable oxygen device, shivering while stubbornly keeping my eyes wide open.

The scene in my field of vision is gradually brightening, but it's still a vast expanse of emptiness.

Amidst that magnificent landscape, we haven't witnessed a more wondrous scene.

Many times, the world is simply unreasonable.

MC: What a pity. If we had witnessed the "Golden Mountain" by the shores of Lake Namtso, it would have surely made us feel incredibly lucky.

MC: However, even though Professor Luo Ke has come so many times, he only caught a glimpse of it. And his experimental results still seem to be quite good.

MC: (smiles) So it's no problem, it's not that we have bad luck, we just don't have luck that's good enough.

On the road back, symptoms of altitude sickness paid me another visit.

After taking pain relievers, I lie a little bit dizzily in the passenger seat, my mouth couldn't help but mutter.

Lucien: This kind of randomness is quite interesting too, isn't it?

Lucien: We don't know when or in what circumstances we will encounter the most beautiful scenery.

Lucien smiled and there was no regret in his tone.

In the receding scenery, he looks so serene.

Lucien: The world would seem to be a much less interesting place if human beings could achieve their goals every time they beat their brains out.

MC: But even if not everything goes as planned, wouldn't you feel regret if most of your expectations couldn't be met?

Lucien: For me what's intriguing is the unknown.

Lucien: The outcome is merely a stepping stone toward the next unknown.

Lucien: Moreover... if most expectations aren't met, I believe there are more important things to consider than just feeling regret.

MC: Um?

He turns his head seemingly seriously, there’s a faint teasing glint in his eyes.

Lucien: Perhaps I should consider whether I need to change my job.

Lucien: Because unexpectedly, most of the outcomes have been failures.

I can't help but laugh, and all the unseen regrets are diluted at this moment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We chat and laugh all the way, the endless road carrying boundless conversations, accompanied by the clouds floating in the sky.

And I gradually relaxed, enjoying this journey with Lucien more peacefully.

Back at the hotel, we had a good night's sleep. The next day, we woke up early, full of energy, and drove to the next destination.

The number of cars on the road decreases as we go, and the journey becomes bumpier. We are like solitary yet content explorers, walking on a path that belongs only to us.

MC: …Strange, according to the map, the sacred mountain should be nearby, right? Did we take a wrong turn?

After navigating numerous twists and turns, I still haven't spotted our destination outside the window.

Lucien: MC, look up.

MC: Um?

I instinctively lift my head, and a blanket of pure white emerges in grandeur after a turn, suddenly filling the entire horizon.

Snow and clouds shroud the mysterious pyramid-like structure, while the clear sky-blue reflects on the mountain's contours, rendering it incredibly serene and sacred.

But that was just a blink of an eye in our journey.

When the car finally comes to a stop at the base of the outer lake, the world suddenly changes its complexion. Fine snowflakes are whisked into the air between the mountains, swiftly guiding us into a nearby guesthouse.

The room is relatively simple, but it's enough to shelter us from the wind and snow.

There aren't many other guests besides us, and the owner warmly welcomes us, bringing us warm milk.

I lean against the window, and the snow-capped mountains outside are already submerged in clouds and the feather-like flurry, making it impossible to see any features.

Lucien: (chuckle) This classmate might turn into a little snowman.

A gentle touch of fingertips brushes against my brow, smoothing out the creases there.

Afterward, a piece of clothing wraps around me, creating a barrier against the lingering cold air in the room.

MC: If I turn into a little snowman, can I reason with the snowy mountains then?

Lucien: The snowy mountains might not have control over the weather either.

He smiles, wearing a similar ethnic attire that he just gave to me, and nestles beside me.

MC: What is this?

Lucien: The weather grew colder. Although our clothes were warm enough, I borrowed two more pieces of clothing from the owner.

Lucien: Because I hope to be more than just a "guest" here with you.

He brushes aside my hair and helps me fasten the robe and belt.

Lucien: (chuckle) Let me accompany you in becoming a little snowman here.

Lucien: Blizzard or sunshine, it doesn't matter.

Lucien: They are all just a part of our life.

His voice is gentle, falling softly like the snow.

I understand what Lucien means, so I gaze at him for a moment and then immediately raise the corners of my mouth, affectionately tidying his clothes.

Suddenly, I remembered something and took out a ribbon from my backpack.

MC: Then we should try to blend in more with the local customs!

Lucien: When did you secretly buy this?

Lucien: (chuckle) I thought you were resting well the whole time, except when you were with me.

MC: Hehe, since you can take care of renting the car and various matters, it's okay for me to buy a little gift, right?

I smile and ask him to turn around. I gently stroke the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

Strands of silky hair twine around my fingertips, gleaming with a beautiful luster against the snowy backdrop.

MC: Your hair has grown quite long.

Lucien: I hope this little travel preparation will also make you happy.

MC: (laughs) So Professor Lucien even planned for this.

MC: But my preparation is on point too. I specifically learned braiding techniques for this region online.

The ribbon is woven through the small braids at the ends of his hair, and the end of each braid is adorned with a neat little knot tied with beads.

I place the headband on his forehead and hold his cheeks, looking at him repeatedly with a little smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

Lucien: (chuckles and smiles with curved eyes) Are you satisfied?

MC: Couldn't be more satisfied!

It's as if my smile has infected him too. He then takes out a particularly unique headpiece and ribbons from his own backpack.

MC: How did you…?

Lucien: I can only say that our tacit understanding has always been like this.

He turns my body around, lifting my hair and slipping his fingers through it.

In the distance, the sacred mountain stands serenely, while snowflakes continue to drift down.

Lucien quietly holds and touches my hair.

At this moment, I can't see his face, but there's an incomparably sincere feeling of being touched tenderly and devoutly.

MC: I hope tomorrow will be good weather.

MC: And I can see the special "Golden Mountain" with you.

Lucien: This classmate seems to be more persistent than I imagined.

MC: Because... I want to see all the miraculous things in this world with you.

I lower my head, playing with the crimson bead strings, and surprisingly, I don't feel any urgency. Instead, a sense of tranquility fills me.

MC: Because this is something that only requires luck, just like the Northern Lights we witnessed together back then.

MC: A koi fish, a wonder... it's as if encountering these brings a bit of good luck.

MC: I hope the koi fish always jumps into your arms, and all the good luck can favor you.

MC: Even things that cannot be proven, may they stand by your side.

A pair of arms encircle my waist, gently pulling me back and drawing me into his embrace.

Lucien: (chuckles tenderly) Silly girl.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The snow and wind continue unabated.

The next day the sky is still filled with snow, and the possibility of seeing a sunrise is unlikely.

My heart is filled with regret, but I still muster my energy and get up. As I consider today's plans, I search for Lucien's figure.

MC: Lucien?

As I push open the door, in this world of pure white, everything comes rushing towards me—

Falling snowflakes, fluttering prayer flags, and the tinkling bells hanging from the yak's neck fill all of my senses all at once.

I stand there in a daze, gazing at those eyes that are as silent as this world, coming towards me from within the snow.

The incessant heavy snow falls onto his Tibetan robe, and he, like a figure from a painting, pulls the reins as the wind blows.

The swaying bells ring melodiously and echo in the mountains as if they are the melody of wind and snow.

Thin golden light bathes the mountain peaks, outlining the continuous undulating contours of the landscape in varying shades.

Like a divine oracle, pointing toward the end of the world.

Lucien: I seem to have heard you calling me.

At that moment, I felt a sense of relief, as if it didn't matter whether I saw the "Golden Mountain" or not.

Because I have already seen the God that came upon my call.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Part 4]

So it turns out Lucien went to explore the path ahead while the snow was lighter.

Lucien: I went to the side of the outer lake to take a look, but I still couldn't see much.

MC: It's okay, I think this is fine too.

Watching the swirling snow, I know that there probably won't be much of a chance today, but my mood is particularly relaxed.

MC: Isn't it nice to walk under the snow-capped mountains like this, accompanied by the light snowfall?

MC: And today is also the Qixi Festival. It feels like we're doing something particularly dreamy.

Lucien: I think what's really dreamy is something else.

He smiles and takes my hand, stepping on the light snow, and slowly walking in the mountains.

The world is covered by a layer of white dust, flying, quietly settling, gathering, and extending far into the pure white depths.

Between heaven and earth, there is no constraint in looking up or down.

Round and round, we finally return to the foot of the sacred mountain by the outer lake.

The lake is profound and unfathomable, holding sediments for countless years.

The wind stirs layers of ripples as we gaze across the lake, looking at the mountain hidden in clouds and mist as if looking at the gods hidden behind.

Countless ineffable emotions surge within my heart, leaving me only able to silently experience this brilliance and grandeur.

MC: Indeed, a lot of scenery is best experienced firsthand.

Lucien: I suppose this is probably the essence of traveling.

MC: We'll definitely come back here again in the future, right?

Lucien: Definitely.

Upon hearing his resolute response, I laughed softly.

I reverently place my hands together, raising them to my chest.

At this moment, my heart is tranquil. As I subconsciously pray, Lucien's name naturally appears in my heart.

I hope everything goes smoothly for him, his health remains strong, and he is safe and worry-free.

I hope he will never lose his curiosity about this world.

I hope he will knock on the doors to truth and reach even farther places.

I silently express in my heart; if there are truly unspeakable things in the world, I hope they can hear my wishes in this closest place to them.

Until suddenly, I feel a pair of warm palms covering the back of my hand.

I don't open my eyes, but for some reason, I know he is doing the same thing with me.

Even though I know he doesn't believe in anything, he has also made wishes with me countless times.

But now, will you still pray with me?

What will you pray to them for?

At this moment, everything seems to be quiet, as if wishing to carry the sounds of the world to even more distant realms.

But Lucien doesn't consider himself a believer in prayer.

The world is full of countless mysteries waiting to be explored and answered, and until accurate answers are found, he cares not the names humans bestow upon them.

Gods, heavens, destiny…

Even so, he's not sure of the reason, but there's always an incredibly real feeling of being touched gently and reverently by the girl.

As if cradled within the softness of her heart, embraced in her current prayer.

He feels that he is being blessed and protected.

An immensely heavy emotion burgeons within him at this moment, spreading to every part of his body, making him feel warm all over.

He can't help but close his eyes and press his forehead against the top of her head.

'I know that there must be things in the world that are unknowable.'

'I never set my heart on those illusory protections and blessings, only hoping for those silent bystanders to witness our smooth and winding journey through life.'

'But if there truly is something that can hear the sound of prayers, I hope they can give her a miracle.'

At that moment, he couldn't help but pray.

I slowly open my eyes, meeting Lucien's gaze, and we both break into laughter together.

MC: Lucien, just now the gods have already promised me that they will bless and protect you well.

Lucien: But I feel like I'm already being well blessed and protected by you.

MC: Then you just keep moving forward, you will definitely reach the place you hope for.

A tender kiss lands on my lips, devout and affectionate.

A fleeting moment can be engraved as if it were a thousand years, frozen in the gaze of the snow mountains.

At some point, the wind and snow stopped, and a subtle red tinted the area behind Lucien.

MC: How come the snow has turned red because of you…

As soon as my words fall, both Lucien and I suddenly freeze in place.

As Lucien turns around to reveal a vast expanse of vision, we witness a miracle.

Threads of golden light spill down, burning into the clouds and landing on the finally unveiled mountaintop.

As rows of clouds surge, that magnificent glow spreads across the mountain peak, turning red and then bright, casting a solemn aura over the sacred summit.

That touch of favor from the sun and the divine now fully rests before us.

The golden mountain is so vast, so bright, and even the floating clouds seem to bow their heads in reverence, offering all their respect, leaving only its radiance in the expanse of the sky.

I lost all words, only able to stare blankly at everything before me.

My gaze unintentionally becomes blurred, watching that intense deep red gradually transform into soft red, then quietly fade away.

Until that red light disappears, and the world falls silent once again.

The moment just now felt like a miracle.

MC: Lucien…

I excitedly throw myself onto him. Even though that scene was fleeting, it was enough to make me feel happy.

MC: We've seen it! We've seen the golden mountain!

MC: Something good is definitely going to happen!

He looks towards the mountain peak that has once again disappeared from sight, then looks at me.

He uses his fingertip to gently wipe away the tears in my eyes, then bends down to kiss my cheek, again and again.

In those deep eyes, I see the same emotions.

Sudden travel, random choices, silent scenery... Countless coincidences link together to become some kind of destiny.

Lucien: Probably since a long time ago…

Lucien: You've become my miracle itself.

-

[Post-Evolve phone call- Lab Koi]

-

[Karma Bonus Moments- Boundless]

Lucien's post: The magic of the world lies in the fact that amidst doubt and disappointment, anything is possible.

MC's reply: So, is it really possible that there's a "god" who can hear all our prayers?

Lucien: Perhaps there is some kind of "rule" that if two people love each other enough, all their wishes can come true.

-

Lucien's post: The magic of the world lies in the fact that amidst doubt and disappointment, anything is possible.

MC's reply: But what if nothing happens at all?

Lucien: Then it's just one of the many faces it's showing us.

-

Lucien's post: The magic of the world lies in the fact that amidst doubt and disappointment, anything is possible.

MC's reply: I hope that the direction it happens to be in is just the way you expect.

Lucien: I think that even if the world doesn't always align with our wishes, I'll remember your words and calmly navigate through every failure.

-

[Lux’s Rambling Corner]

What a very touching date🥺 I literally cried the first time I read them lmao. Both the art and writing of this date are truly exceptional, exceeding all my expectations. Perhaps it’s true that love has the power to create miracles and shape destinies.

I think the date tackle some heavy themes and questions. Are things like Gods or Heavens exist? and whether it's meaningful to pray for them without concrete proof. It also delves into the concept of human insignificance in the vast universe and the limits of our understanding. I believe this date provides satisfying and respectful approach to these questions. Although we can't know the absolute truth about such mysteries, it's perfectly fine to explore various possibilities. Praying or believing in such thing is okay because there's nothing wrong with taking more possibilities with your hand. While our time in this world is short and we might feel insignificant in the universe, it's comforting to follow your heart and make the most of every fleeting moment. Even a fleeting moment can be engraved as if it were a thousand years.

Regarding their interactions and dynamic in this date, the aspect that really struck me was how they view each other as something beyond humans, yet also manage to protect and care for one another in a very human way by praying. MC’s prayer is really touching, because you just can feel how much she just wishes to protect him and make him happy, his prayer even includes her wish for him to continue his curiosity; to find what he’s searching for; and, it’s just- very special you know? Because it shows how much she understands him and loves everything that makes him ‘Lucien’. And against rationality and logic, Lucien prays for her simply because he believes that she deserves all the good things in the world. What she wishes for, if there truly is god in the world, he hopes that god will realize her wish.

Still, the object of his devotion isn't the divine but his beloved. Because in his eyes, it’s her love that’s been blessing and protecting him all this time. This devotion is mutual, and it can be said that they’re each other's 'God' and believer. For her, Lucien is a 'God' that came upon her call, came from the snow and led her to see the golden mountain through wind and snow. While for Lucien, she is his cherished 'God', blessing him and letting him see color, allowing him to appreciate the beauty of the world in its fullest, and his ‘connection’ to the world.

This mutual devotion also shows through the repeated use of the term虔诚 (which translates to 'devout' or 'reverent' or ‘pious’) to describe their touches and I just- *died* everytime PG uses it. In other instances they also humanize the other, grounding them in the reality that they’re also humans that might experience failures and setbacks from time to time, but it’s totally okay of course, after all those are perhaps what makes life interesting. Anyway, this dynamic of humanizing and divinizing each other is a truly special aspect of their relationship and I can’t help but love them more for it.

Besides the aspect that I mentioned above, Lucien taking care of sick MC and their constant setbacks also add more bittersweet touch to this date. Lucien taking care of MC in particular, kind of gives me flashbacks of Distant Similarity UR. Lucien initially takes all of the responsibilities himself and MC reminds him again that he shouldn’t shoulder everything himself never fails to hurt me :”. And their constant setbacks… albeit a bit cliche, it’s also their brand to have angst with a happy ending right- That part when they accept that perhaps it’s simply not their luck to see the golden mountain is really melancholic yet also hopeful. Things might not go as planned, but it’s okay. Because as long as they have each other everything is good and there will always be the chance to try it again next time.

Other than those scenes, their interactions in this date are definitely brimming with sweetness and tenderness, from Lucien being certified love brain™ by letting her to change his phone case into something cute and childish while not caring what his colleagues think, ‘oxygen tank’ lucien (heh-), being two little snowmen together and my little fav scene when they have tacit understanding, it's as if they have this soul-deep connection and are able to communicate heart to heart, when Lucien somehow knows that she will do that and deliberately grow mullet for her to braid. Their mutual gift of headpieces and ribbon... when they braid each other hair, there's this magical feeling when they do that. It's as if they have this soul-deep connection and be able to communicate through heart 🥹.

Truly 10/10 date. I would put it on S tier with no second thought. If you read until this far- thank you so much for reading ahah. Hopefully y'all enjoy this date as much as I do~

[freshlyrage]

Running Like Water

Chapter 1

pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (written as xReader)

fic warnings: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI) language, strained family relationships, mentions of drug abuse, discussions of insecurities and body image issues, daddy and mommy issues, first few chapters are flashbacks to high school, they WILL NOT be explicit just fluff.

fic tags: Best friends younger sister, Life-long crush, Friends to lovers, Unrequited love, slow burn, Push and Pull, Small Town Dynamics, Secret Relationships, latina MC, Fluff and Angst, OFC!Jessica Alba face claim, sorry Lorraine I'm bringing you into this, Time jumps, 2 year age gap, pre-canon

Fic Summary: Andrea has loved Javier since she was a girl in pigtails, yet he has always been off limits. Andrea's older brother Frankie makes sure Javier never crosses any lines, which was an easy task considering Javi's relationship status with long term girlfriend Lorraine. Somewhere, the lines blur.

A/N: Hi tumblr, I decided to also upload on here so heh Hi! It was mentioned in the tags but Ms. Jessica Alba is my face claim for Andrea my beloved. I do have little pinterest boards but I feel like I could also post my inspo pics on here too hehe. Anyway my pinterest is maribari11. My Running Like Water Boards are titled;

Before 1985

Genie and Frankie

1985+

Lor.

Diaz House

First ten chapters are being slowly uploaded on here but can be accessed on ao3. Enjoy :)

word count: 3.3k

Andrea was fifteen, thirteen, twelve and twenty one in his basement. In 1977 Andrea was only thirteen. Her brother, Frankie was fifteen and most definitely couldn’t be bothered hanging out with the girl. She was a bit awkward and interested in things he wasn’t. Deep in his rebellious phase, skipping church and frequenting smoking pot at Genevieve's house. That bitch. Andrea would mutter when she would roll her car into the dirt driveway.

She used to pick fun of Andrea and Andrea wasn’t one to just “forget” about something like that. Having Frankie around definitely pushed that potty mouth that they wouldn’t dare use around their mama. Having been the one of the only Puerto Ricans within a 3 mile radius, mom would take them to church trying to follow along with the differences in words between the way they spoke on the island and how their preacher from Mexico preached.

Melissa Diaz, single mother with too much money for her own good. The largest home in their neighborhood, courtesy of her grandfather who wrote Melissa’s name in his will. He struck big with oil in the 30s and his only alive relative was his little one Melissa, who wasn’t so little. She was already pregnant with Andrea at the time and obviously dropped her life in Miami as a struggling single mom for sudden Texas luxury.

They were also one of the few people in the neighborhood who didn’t like the ranching lifestyle.

Melissa wasn’t into that, she opened up her boutique in town and let the money pile that way. But it was lonely, for Andrea at least. She had friends in her sixth grade classes of course but it was never close enough to be invited out when they would leave school on Fridays and walk to Genevieve's (bitch) dads ice cream parlor. Despite Frankie’s new habits, maybe once a month he’d take Andrea out. And he had taken her out that summer.

The fishing rod sound was comforting, down the hill and a sharp left into town. “Frankie! My legs are too short to keep up.” Green short overalls and a baseball ring t-shirt. His back was facing you and you grip the handles, lean forward but it still doesn’t make you as fast as him. You mutter curses under your breath like your mama could hear.

The town came into view, the shops, moms shop and the police station smack in the middle. The police of Laredo, who mama very much disliked after she was pulled over for having Frankie in the front seat when he was six.

Genevieve's beetle parked in front of the ice cream shop, the speed increases and you can’t help but groan with annoyance. You follow him any way knowing you will be ditched for the next 2 hours, I can just ride back home now.

You don’t though. You follow him before the two of you park our bikes by a post, you two hadn’t had your locks because one of the two of you usually would stay out with the bikes, (it was always Frankie) while the other (you) bought ice cream. With Ice Cream you and your brother would walk your bikes to a bench. Sit for a bit and eat ice cream, it was the time where you two actually enjoyed each others company. Frankie is eyeing the car, “Stay here, I’m going to see if I can catch Genie.”

You give him pleading eyes, “No Frankie, this isn’t fair.” You look around anxiously at the thought of being alone in the street next to two pricey bikes. He laughs and shoves your shoulder before walking into the shop. God, you hate this phase he’s in. He’s totally in love with her and she was older- seemed like she just wanted to be around him to smoke. You look out at the town surrounding you. Summer classic, just so busy this time of year. You watch as 3 girls leave mom's shop, bags in hand. Teenage boys laughing over something near the bar that was closed.

“Andrea?” A deep voice comes from behind you, deep voice? You turn, your pigtails practically slapping against your face. You blink rapidly as the boy approached you. He looked your close to brothers age, but with one of those awkward puberty staches. “Sorry, your Frankie’s sister right?”

You nod, looking down at the bikes, still confused as to why he was talking to you. Or how he knew your name, or why he was getting so close. “You should know that your brother owes 30 cash for a few ounces, has been avoidin’ me” His steps even closer and you can’t hold both bikes at once, Frankie’s bike drops to the floor. Shaking your head, you already had a fear of boys, let alone teenage boys. Now one is close to you asking for money you for sure did not have.

“That’s not my issue dude.” You squeak, and grimace, you really couldn’t have looked weaker than at this moment. Twelve years old in overalls and pig tails. The tween quickly retrieve a blade from his pocket.

With quickness and without any time for thoughts you step away from the bike.

Fuck this.

The boy crouches down and stabs the wheel and the scream you let out is nothing short of embarrassing.

Is no one seeing this?

In a split second the kids face is on the ground, pushed as he stabbed the wheel.

“What the fuck is your issue?” A voice growls, not deep like the prick on the floor but definitely a voice of someone awaiting puberty. Your eyes flash up from the sight-seeing the voice, reaching down and grabbing the collar of blade boy, turning him on his back. “Get the fuck out of here.” He shoves the kid further into the concrete and now people were paying attention.

Yet still, no sign of Frankie, who was probably already smoking with Genie in the back of the store.

The guy with a smudge of sidewalk dirt on his cheek runs away from the 14-year-old vigilante, abandoning his weapon.

The boy had a familiar look, like you’ve seen him in school. A grown look to him already to which his voice contrasted. Your face flushed red when he reached down to grab the bike, “Are you okay?” He stood straight, tall. You nod embarrassingly quick, wishing for a moment that you hadn’t looked so young.

“Yes I-”

“Javier? What the fuck happened to my bike?” Frankie steps out of the shop, Genie behind him, her hair in its perfect voluminous state. The small crowd that formed from Javier’s quick action had already desolated.

Javier, Javier.

Javier scoffs, “You left your little sister with your bike and some kid nearly mugged her.” Frankie’s eyes widen, looking at you, your fear and embarrassment broadcasted on your face. He closes his eyes for moment, pinching the bridge of his nose. Cursing under his breath. He takes a few steps forward, disarming the bike from Javier’s grip.

“Dillan…” He grits. Frankie puts his hand on your shoulder, Javier stood to your left shaking his head. “Shit, Andrea I’m sorry,”. Frankie turned to look at Genie. “Would you mind driving us to Javi’s”

She agreed instantly and by the grace of God we somehow fit the bikes in her small car. To your benefit, you and Javier peeled next to each other. You just couldn’t help but crush immediately. Frankie explained that Javier’s dad “Chucho” used to fix bikes, he probably had a replacement wheel there. He also apologized over and over, Genevieve laughing at how apologetic he was. And Chucho fixed his bike out in the driveway. So you stayed in Javier’s basement for hours. But like always, you felt like an outsider.

A bit too young to be in that crowd. They spoke of things you couldn’t relate to yet. But you were occupied, a gaze on Javier seemed to be the only interesting aspect of the night. And your assumptions were right-well almost right...

Javier was fourteen, turning fifteen in August and he was at your school but just in the 8th grade. Its something you two shared in common, you were both a year older than everyone else in your grades. It was the summer going into 7th grade which meant Javier was joining Frankie at Laredo High School in a matter of months.

And again, to your advantage, it became a constant routine.

Biking to Javier’s basement, you, Genie and Frankie. You didn’t complain despite still feeling out of place, you finally had people to hang out with. And for mama, she was ecstatic that her two kids were actually hanging out together. They would joke about things you hadn’t experienced yet. “Cover your ears Andrea,” Genie jokes as Javier described hooking up with one of Genevieve's friends. She was definitely too old for Javi. God do all 8th graders “hook up”.

You were also quick to realize Genevieve wasn’t all too bad, it sure seemed she grew a bit since her playground bully days. Yet you still managed to be the butt of every joke in Javier’s basement.

“Do you even have friends in school?” Frankie leans into his knees, passing his blunt to Javier. The pass was always skipped over you because you were too little. Surprisingly, you actually agreed. Your eyes narrow at Frankie as he tried to dig at you.

“Leave her alone, I mean you’re here hanging out with your twelve-year-old sister, so you really are no better.”

You couldn’t help it. You were doomed when he beat up that kid Dillan. You couldn’t help but blush at anything he said. It was classic. Little girl crushing on one of her only friends just because he was nice to her. The whole thing just grew deeper with time as you all got closer. As Javier proved himself to be the only one on your side.

Slinging an arm over your shoulders as you all walked home the following summer. It was all friendly to him but you knew Genevieve could read your face.

That face when you're trying to be serious to avoid smiling ear to ear from being so close to your one-time-knight in shining armor.

Though, you never really saw Javier during the school year. It wasn’t surprising, you weren’t even in the same school building during his freshman and sophomore year. You also had to accept that it was just a summer thing, enough time would pass where Javier would be shocked every time he saw you. During his sophomore year you had not seen him those whole nine school months. Not even with all the quinceañeras and town events. You just never saw him, even when you would deliberately bike past his house. You would always see Chucho though. He’d wave, you’d return it and then look straight ahead, oh my god I’m such a creep.

It just became devastating when you were going into high school. You had gotten taller, maybe prettier. But you think it was just the fact that you were 15 now. He hadn’t truly seen you since you were 14. Back when you still had to patch your knees from typical middle school rough housing.

That year he was gone, 1979, he came back briefly just to leave again at the very start of the summer. Attending a summer police camp, for boys. In turn, Frankie spent the summer working and Genie (who was finally your brother’s girlfriend) was taking summer courses at a beauty school.

No, absolutely not, is what you tell Genie when she asked to dye it blonde. You did give in with a haircut and your once long mane now only reached just below your shoulders. “Layers, it makes you look more grown up. Getting you high school ready.” She gleams as she chops your hair in her classroom.

Luckily, despite all of your older asshole brothers jokes, you weren’t completely socially inept.

In that Javi-less year you had met with some girl’s you played lacrosse with. Liandra and Monica. And they really kept you busy that summer. The three of you went swimming and Monica would drive you all around town. They were surely some characters, Monica a bit of a spaz, older than you of course. Javier’s age. Liandra was tougher and much more athletic than the rest of the girls on your team.

It was late in summer, end of July. That familiar feeling was settling in every time you would pass a store with a sign that said Back to school sale.

In your final beach trip with your girls you had come back in Monica’s car like you always did, in shorts and your bikini tops.

7-11 was your haven, steal a few candy bars and pay for Slurpee’s. “God, your tan line.” Liandra grabs your shoulder with her cold hand as it was just gripping her drink. You wince at the feeling.

Gritting your teeth, “Yeah, I just catch sun a bit more.” The cold air of the store nipping at you, goosebumps rising. Monica curses as the slushie overflows, Liandra shoves her in annoyance.

“Mujer, tienes que poner la tapa primero. Tapa ¡primero!” Liandra says very seriously, earning a groan from Monica. You laugh, sipping your cherry flavored slush. The flavor so sweet and concentrated, how you liked. Your eyes fall to the ground as your friends argued in Spanish. You could understand them of course but speaking it, oh that was a whole different story. They thought it was so funny to leave you in a room with their family members to hear you struggle.

An elbow digs into your bare rib. Your eyes snap up at Monica, annoyance prevalent in your face. “Hot guy, older… staring at you right now.” She speaks out the side of her mouth in the most cartoonish way ever. Your eyebrows screw together as you try to slyly look to your right, red straw between your cherry-stained lips.

A familiar pit in your stomach forms, one you would get just a summer ago or when you would bike passed his house and see his truck in the driveway. Your eyebrows shoot up as Javier stands near the refrigerated drinks, a confused look on his face.

 He looks so much older; he was taller and his hair. God, he would be 17 by now. Or 16? It isn’t august, he’s still 16.

“I thought it was you.” He laughs walking towards you, not helping the throbbing in your chest. You could hear the girls stir from behind you. His smile doing the thing. When the corners of his eyes crinkle and you could barely make out the color of them. Has he been working out?

Fuck of course he has, he’s been training. Where was he all year?

“Shit, I feel like I haven’t seen you since last summer.” Without letting you think he pulls you in for a hug, too distracted by his scent and hold to realize you were just in a bikini top. His large hand flat on your upper back, stinging the mixture of burn and tan you had received from being by the seaside.

He lets you go but still has a hand on your tanned arm. You try not to focus on the touch and instead speak. “Uh- yeah where have you been all year.” You blurt, fuck did you sound desperate? Obsessed? You were. You had kind of been worried sick. Worried that something was wrong although you knew deep down that Chucho just wouldn’t just go on with his day if there really had been an issue.

He laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “I know, I know. Chucho sent me to that High School for law and justice last year. Lived with my uncle out there” Your eyes widen, that was in Houston. Chucho really let him leave all year-and then for summer?

He laughs again at your reaction, “I know, I’m back now, going to finish junior and senior year at Laredo, it was pricey keeping me over there. I’m here again” He smiles, he hasn’t stopped since he realized it was you. He always looked at you with that sort of gaze, you wanted to believe it was adoration. And his voice, oh my god when did it get this deep. His eyes fall to the girls behind you.

 It snaps you from your Javier Peña daze.

“Oh- that’s great. Sorry-” You awkwardly look at both girls by your side. “These are my friends, Monica and Liandra we play on the varsity lacrosse.” They both are ogling him and you mentally roll your eyes. It’s just the way they are.

Javi crosses his arms and nods, a smirk playing on his lips. He puts a hand out and ruffles your hair. Your cheeks immediately warming at the act, “Freshman on varsity, maybe I’ll stop by some of your games, right ladies?” He crosses his arms again. They both nod, Monica laughs snorting along with it.

Oh my god…

Still a smile playing on his lips, staring down at you. Tall, fuck when did he get so-“Listen, I have to go home to dad but I’ll see you around school, yeah?” He says it like he means it, like he wants to see you around. Like he’s hopeful.

Or maybe you were just making it all up in your mind.

He waves a goodbye to your friends and leaves empty handed, the brass ship bell rings as he goes.

Monica wraps her arms around you and makes a fake moan into your ear. You cringe again pushing her off, “You have to be joking who in the world-”

“Javier, he’s my brothers friend” You brush them away and walk to the register. Taking your change out, 60 cents for a large like always. Monica groans and Liandra puts down her own change, covering for Monica. It was “pay-back” for all the rides she provided you guys.

“He’s so sexy oh my goodness Andrea.” Liandra gushes. You look at her from the side of your eye for a moment, knowing he surely wasn’t her type. She liked those big buff knuckle heads. You smile and thank the cashier before you all exit the store before loading the car.

You do see him in school. He never really sees you, maybe he’s tries not to. Within the first month of freshman year you had seen him in the hall with a new girl at least 4 times. You had heard he was a bit of womanizer, a sweet talker. And he was charming with you so you could only dream of how sweet he was when he was really flirting.

“You wish that was you, don’t you?” Monica laughs from your left, your eyes widen. She caught you staring at him walking with another girl. Truly, shamefully, you weren’t paying attention to the girl he had his arm around but instead the way his ass looked in the jeans he wore. Your cheeks flushing red.

 “I’m good.”

You lied. You would walk home nearly everyday with tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. You had a lot of alone time that fall, You had a lot of time to just pine over him now that you had to see him everyday. You wondered most importantly, if he’d ever want you, maybe not now but soon. Before he graduates, You also wondered if he was hooking up with those girls. God, he had gotten so popular when he came back. And you just watched.

You did a lot of watching. You watched Genie and Frankie nearly break up over dinner at your house. You watched Monica get a boyfriend only 3 months into high school, and you watched Liandra have her first kiss at a party.

You watched everyone else have experiences, you could only just watch.

[alwida10]

Bestie, you keep talking about the viewership article of Loki for ages. When will you put it up? I'm going insane with people claiming its the best thing ever

Ahhhh 😱 my bad conscience learned to send Tumblr asks!!!! 😱😱 /joke

And yes. You got me there. 😭 after season 2 ended, I told myself it was necessary to wait a bit so the Google Trends graphs wouldn’t look so chopped off, and ended up procrastinating the post because I never wanted to think about *that* show ever again. 😭

But yes - be assured - while the defenders of the show are often vicious and try to make it look like it was generally loved, the stats paint another picture. (The same was true for season 1, though. I recommend taking a look at this amazing analysis posted on Reddit.) For now, let’s take the rough overview of season 2 from Google Trends here.

Google Trends only provides relative graphs (=percentages of a maximum), but in a way this makes it even better. The public interest in Loki peaked with season 1 (airing from 09. June - 14. July 2021). Season two (5. October - 9. November 2023) sparked about half of the interest. Overall, that’s a pretty clear picture season 2 lost a lot of viewer interest.

But let’s look into the details, meaning the single episodes. Here we have the first three ones (released on the 5th, 12th and 19th October).

Each episode marks a small peak in interest. Typically, the interest decreases over a season, so the first episode being the biggest hit is no surprise. The decrease however is. As a reminder: season 1 suffered a 30% decrease in viewership between episodes 1 and 3, which was considered horrible at the time. While this graph does not reflect viewership but Google searches, the decrease between episodes 1 and 3 is still 50%. (Also, I kinda prefer Google stats to viewership stats since they reflect how much real interest the series managed to create, leaving out all those people who mindlessly consumed the series without thinking further. It does however have the bias that an incomprehensible plot might inflate the numbers because people look for explanations online.)

The first peak in the next pic is again episode 3, followed by 4 (26. October), 5 (2. November), and the last episode (9. November). It’s easily visible that the finale has created the most interest. Sadly, Google Trends did not provide a graph where all the episodes could be compared, but based on the fact that the episode 3 peak was half as high as the one for episode 1, we can estimate that the episode 1 peak would have been at approximately 55-60% in this graph.

So why is that interesting? The two most interesting episodes were the opening and the finale. That’s not that unusual, but in the end, it still burns down to the fact that people kinda tuned out in between. I wouldn’t exclude the possibility that the major questions regarding Loki’s future (is he dead now? Can people visit him? How did this work?) inflated the peak for the finale.

Ok, but what about the actual views?

Well, I can never compete with thochi-1’s analysis, but I’ll do my best. But first this gem:

So, apparently, the 50% drop in Google Trends is associated with a 39% drop in viewed minutes.

For the overall season, the Hollywood reporter says this:

Summarized: only two-thirds of viewers from season 1 returned for season 2. The ones who did return showed about 15% less engagement in googling our beloved god of mischief.

I have another, personal reason to find that little fact particularly interesting. In the Loki survey, 26% of all respondents indicated they disliked the show. At the time of the survey, some people assumed this number to be falsely inflated, because I was more active in the “anti-series fandom”. Given the viewing numbers of season 2, I feel sadly validated. After all, the drop of 35% is even higher than my estimates.

[polarisbibliotheque]

Hiiiii just wanted to say you're an amazing person and writer and I love your first with my whole heart, especially the nemesis one and jeshhsvejeyegehejwjj also I wanted to ask if the reader is based on being female or not? Any yea that's it love yyyaaaaaa xo

Aaaaaah thank you so much!!!! I'm always taken aback by so much love, thanks a LOT for taking the time to read my work and just be here, it's really special to me 🖤🖤 you are too kind!!

Me, whenever you guys decide to shower me with love

I always say the most precious thing we have in life is time - and the fact that you guys decide to spend that time here, reading and just enjoying ~the vibes~ holds a special place in my heart 🖤

Now, regarding reader's gender, that's a very good question!

My first language isn't English - I'm Brazilian, so BR Portuguese is my default and I've written A LOT in Portuguese. Interestingly enough, I think I spent so much time writing here, I'm currently writing better in English than in Portuguese *puts on fool hat*

In Portuguese, gender is a big deal, 'cause all our words are gendered. We don't have neutrals like "they" in English or "das" in German - so we kinda always have to pic a gender for characters.

I have some non-binary characters in other personal original stories and they are a PAIN to write in Portuguese, 'cause I don't have neutral pronouns/ways to call them T-T

When I used to write for PT-BR fanfic websites, my default has always been female reader character in 3d person - it's only when I moved to tumblr I started using "you", which was a VERY weird transition at the start, and I got hit with "oh my the person reading might not be female/identify as female".

I always used female as default because, not gonna lie, I used my name as default for 3d person, or friends names, and then I scripted/htmld the fic so in the website I posted people could change the characters names to their own names/own characters without the whole you/y/n thing.

The majority of people reading in this website I posted are women - and in my country, fanfiction has always been perceived like a female thing. So I never really thought much about that.

It's only when I moved here I found a more diverse set of readers. In English, gender isn't taken for granted, because you do have neutrals. And I kept thinking "what if people that identify with other genders want to read my work? What if they like it too?" and I decided to go as neutral as I can for the reader!

Granted, sometimes I slip up and you'll catch me referencing the reader as she/her - it's something I always have to keep an eye on because of my own language.

When I'm writing, I think more of a mature character rather than their gender, to be honest. It's a pet peeve of mine, but I'm always fuming that most female reader characters end up as damsels in distress or acting extremely childish, girly, cute or even bratty just because of their gender and I hate it.

I try to think more in a way that Dante and Vergil wouldn't be attracted to that - they're older, mature men and they want something else in a relationship. They want a partner and someone who can stand on their own, and power through hardships. Femininity is ok, but being a childish 12 y/o isn't really attractive to older men like them.

I'm turning 30 this year, hear the voice of wiseness HAHAHA

That made me have another sort of default when I'm writing. Now I'm much more focused on personality and what fits the characters rather than gender and all that - because I think sometimes we get too "blind" on what is expected from that gender rather than developing a good character.

A few examples I like:

(Below the cut, examples on female characters and my impressions, I got too excited and it turned into something huge, apologies xD)

Integra Hellsing, from the Hellsing manga and OVA, is an exceptional woman written without her gender being the first thing you get from her character. Appearance wise, she is very androginous, but her character per se, she is still a woman, feminine and all, but powerful as hell, strong-willed, with harsh decisions to make, imperfections and self-doubt, holding the most powerful vampire in the world on a leash. She has a ton of responsibilities and she doesn't have to be a sexy tomboy or a, again, sexy girlboss to pull that off. She is posh, regal and graceful even, but she smokes, swears and commands like a man... or like the woman she is. Which is brilliant. Love her absurdly.

Plus, she literally has te title of Sir Integra. Love this powerhouse of a woman.

Ellen Ripley, from Alien, was a character written primarily regardless her gender - and I think this is fabulous! They had the character done and said "ok, both a man and a woman can play this character" - when it came to casting, they decided Sigourney Weaver was the best choice. Ripley is smart, fast thinking and a survivor at heart, but she also shows fear and horror when she is put up against the alien. Her character was developed before her gender, and that makes her so amazing - by the second movie, Aliens, she is a powerhouse as well, hell-bent on saving people and not allowing anyone to get hurt by those dreadful creatures again. And we learn she had a daughter! That makes her grow attached to Newt, but not in that ~motherly overattached dependant~ way most people think women do, but in a protective "I'm gonna be your parent" way that all humans grow attached to children!

That's why the 3rd Alien movie is so awful to me. It's the only movie that puts her gender before her character: suddenly she is having sex with everyone and some guys try to rape her because suddenly she is seen as an object rather than a person.

I mean I always shipped her with Hicks and there isn't a SINGLE sexual thing between them rather than some looks of admiration from him and THAT hits harder than any of that cheap sexual thing from the 3rd movie in my ace opinion xD

Fun fact, we both share the fact we're INTPs xD

Now, another one I like, is Yennefer of Vengerberg - and she is written with everything of her gender taken into account. Why am I mentioning her, then?

I'm taking the books and games as reference here, but Yennefer is stunningly beautiful. She could be a perfect femme fatale, and she starts like that, but as you get into her character, there is a character there. And it goes so much further than just being a sexy woman who wants to girlboss and overpower men. Yen is traumatized and has traded so much of herself to become this powerhouse she is. No one likes to mess with her, and those who reduce her to being an woman-object suffer the consequences. She realized she wanted to have children when it was only too late and she is so freaking powerful she will go LENGTHS to make it happen.

It doesn't, but she gets Ciri in her life. Apart from that, Yen is a sorcerer and she does politics: when Geralt doesn't want that and they start disagreeing on their points of view/what kinds of life they want to lead, she is adamant on not leaving her freedom and being afraid on losing her independence to tie herself to someone else. So Yennefer remains as this mysterious, femme fatale of a woman, bewitching and breaking so many hearts because she will never abandon her freedom, her goals and her dreams for a relationship. And that, I think it's beautiful on a female character. Well done and something that ends up becoming a fatal flaw of hers - because, again, it isn't based on "I won't bow to patriarchy" it's based on "I can trust only in myself and I won't leave my fate in anyone's hands but my own", it has nothing to do with her being a woman. It has to do with her own will and who she wants to be.

She could be written as a man and it would work as well in my opinion mind you, you're welcome to disagree

HAHAHAHAHA so there you go. I'm so sorry I took your simple question and turned it into an essay about my own view on gender and female characters when I'm writing, but I saw the opportunity and I took it. I do hope you don't mind "^^

And thank you once again for the ask!! I hope to see you around more and I'm so grateful to have you here! 🖤

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Blast from the Past: The friend who suggested documentationin the Netflix show Harry and MeghanWas it Markus Anderson? by u/somespeculation

Blast from the Past: The ‘friend’ who suggested “documentation”in the Netflix show, Harry and Meghan…Was it Markus Anderson? Here’s what they said:https://ift.tt/lx70bYB https://ift.tt/tzeClT7 the friend was Markus Anderson.We’ll diplomatically call him an (ahem) facilitator. The specific word “documentation” also implies taking footage that can be used at a later date. Notice how Netflix was also shot primarily through personal at home iPhone footage? Theoretically, it could be used for personal legal reasons. 🧐 Did anyone else find it odd that Meg’s “friends” (including an employee who recently quit) were all named on Netflix, but this one key friend was not?The only time we see Markus Anderson in their Netflix series is a blurry partial of him meditating beside Meg. Yet he was all over her TO pics, TiG posts, Royal and California life, and she brings him up in older interviews, but he’s airbrushed out of Netflix. Curious. post link: https://ift.tt/BLmYbkD author: somespeculation submitted: March 30, 2024 at 04:56PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[stepswordsen]

【Magi】 Judar & JuAli Merch Haul [11-10-2024] 🖤❤️💛🐈‍⬛☀️🌙

My recent Judar & JuAli themed merch haul 🖤❤️💛🐈‍⬛☀️🌙

I'M SOOOO HAPPY I HAVE MERCH OF MY MAGI OTP 🥰💞💖🌟✨ I LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE HEART!!! 💗💘💞

JuAli means the world to me so I'm insanely happy 😭💓 The beloveds...

Magi: Official Merch

Magi Kuji Merch: JuAli Mini bromide 🖤❤️💛

When I was looking around for Judar's merch, I just knew I had to get the Magi Kuji merch with the JuAli illust 💞 This illust in general is so cherished by me since it's my biggest food.

It's a mini bromide so it's small. I try to collect as much of my OTPs as possible (within reason, of course)

JuAli (Judar/Alibaba) chibi holographic stickers by Ohtaka 🖤❤️💛

Koubun chibi holographic sticker by Ohtaka

The holographic glowy effect on the stickers is sooo pretty. I never use stickers and always keep them for archival purposes.

Ohtaka's chibi arts are already up online, but I wanna scan these for fun too. I need HD arts of my OTP!!

It's all sparkly and has a pretty rainbow lighting effect 🏳️‍🌈🌈

2nd pic shows the holographic effect more!

Magi Manga: Judar and Aladdin illust by Ohtaka

Most Magi illusts have already been scanned online, but I also wanna scan stuff from my own personal collection, just for fun too. Eventually.

Magi Manga: Hakuryuu, Aladdin, Alibaba, and Judar Illust by Ohtaka

Magi: Judar chibi acrylic stand 🖤❤️🐈‍⬛

I LOVE YOU JUDAR SKRUNKLY!!! ❤️🖤🐈‍⬛✨

The snarky ass grin on this one is so cute... Widdle gremlin. My black cat son 🐈‍⬛

I also have the rubber strap charm version of this from a previous package, but they made miscoloured his eyes as pure white instead of red, wtf 😭

Still cute tho!

Magi: Judar, Hakuryuu, Sinbad, and Hakuei rubber strap charms

This one was sold in a batch. I was aiming for those Judar charms specifically but getting the others is also a steal. Hehehe ^^

Iirc Magi manga Judar has red eyeshadow/eyeliner while Magi anime Judar has purple eyeshadow/eyeliner. Cute that it's included here

Magi: Judar's Third Eye Rubber Strap Charm

Why is his hair purple in this??? 😭

Maybe a misprint? Idk.

Magi: Judar, Serendine, Kouen, and Drakon Rubber Strap Charms

This one also came in a batch!

Magi: Fan Merch

Magi: JuAliHaku NSFW doujinshi (Modern Domestic AU)

Misc Rambles

Realized I haven't posted my merch hauls, so I figured I'd post 2 big merch hauls I got recently. I opened these back in November.

The merch packages were a combination of my main interests (FGO, Magi, KHR, KagePro) and also my secondary interests (ROTRK)

But I can only post 30 images, so they'll be (mostly) separated by fandom. I sometimes take pics that show the whole package, but this post will be Magi centric.

Posting these cuz I just realized I haven't posted my merch hauls here

Prepare for the biggest merch spam ever.

Tumblr also doesn't let me post the full size images due to the limit, so I need to split this into parts.

Just writing down the date I took these pics so I can remember which ones I haven't posted yet

A lot of secondhand sellers sell merch in batches. So along with the Judar merch, I got a lot of other charas on the side too

I was aiming specifically for Judar + JuAili themed merch 🖤❤️💛💞💗

Gonna have to retake pictures sometime cuz I dislike the lighting on my pics at night, but I took pics of my merch!

It's not much different from morning lightning tho. Just has a slightly yellow tint due to the bright lights in my room

I'm super happy about my JuAli merch collection 🥰💗

I have around 15+ JuAli doujins. They're old doujins I bought from secondhand sellers. I'm planning to translate them eventually! Whenever I have the time.

Idk the exact number, I'm just guessing since I put some doujins in different storage boxes in my room.

I've only taken pics so far, I haven't scanned them yet.

[otaku-orochi-okami]

Here We Go Again.

Urgh. Semi kept away. Last proper blog closed down for containing images of a well known influencer and her representatives asked for mine, and several other blogs, to be closed down due to copyright infringement. Did create an AI Waifu blog but my kinks are very dark, and tend to break Tumblr guidelines. Also ChatGPT, the framework that runs the AI chatbots I make, is adding more guard rails so more and more “can’t complete this” messages are popping up so that’s losing its charm too. So back here posting content. I won’t generally be tagging in names of people I post etc after the last blog for obvious reasons but if there’s anyone you like DM me the post and I’ll see if I can tell you who they are. 

So, first things first. This is a NSFW blog.  Normal boring stuff applies to that, MDNI blah blah blah. Feel free to DM me, sometimes I’ll reply, sometime i wont. Don’t take it personally if I don’t, sometimes just busy scrolling. For those who don’t know me, my names Lew, white male in my 30’s, living in UK. My kinks are niche, and tend to get me banned so stuff I post or reblog is just stuff I think is good or done well etc. I’m bi, prefer sex with guys but can’t stand them as anything more than fuck meat, girls I prefer aesthetically to look at and actually talk to, but find sex with them meh. And sissies are losers. That’s not necessarily a bad or a good thing. Depends on my mood.  Actually prefer 2D girls to 3D girls, 3D girls nearly always have some tiny flaw to stop them from being perfect. Plus a perfect girl is subjective anyway. Someone’s 10 is another guys 8. Either way, expect to find a mix of 2D and 3D stuff on here. As last bit might suggest, big fan of pop culture, so happy to talk video games, anime etc as well as kink, or obviously just exclusively one or the other of you don’t want to discuss both. 

Something I haven’t really shared with anyone, despite being in my 30’s, my body is fucking breaking. That’s thanks to boring medical condition I won’t get into. It’s not been too bad until recently, but lately it’s been getting worse. For now, I’m ok in day, but by evenings I’m in serious pain. So to those of you I do message often, preemptive apologies for when I go quiet. As for everyone else; if I’m posting after that time, it’s likely because I queue and schedule my posts, so please don’t assume I’m online and ignoring you. 

Talking of posts, I don’t do exposure any more, doing colabs with x-loservirgin-x really got me into that, but since then too much bitching after losers cum and begging me to take down posts (which is impossible because I can’t take down reblogs), or other losers getting riskier without me there to have guard rails up, even if you don’t realise i do have them, then blaming for when shit hits the fan. As for custom captions. I do them if I can be bothered is the short answer. Feel free to DM with pics or pics suggestions and a theme etc and if I feel like doing it I will. Customs will be DM’d back to you privately, only shared on my blog if you ask me to, so feel free if want to turn your sister etc into private goon fuel.

For the record, my Hard Limits that I won’t engage with are Penectomy, Animals and Minors. Also as a side note, if your profile says anything along the lines of you refusing to pay for femdom’s but please do it for free, I won’t engage with you. Not because I expect to be paid, but because we won’t click. You simply have no idea how the world works, and I have too many interesting toys to talk to rather than waste time with a naive loser unsuccessfully trying to freeload. That shouldn’t offend anyone worth taking to, and if that does offend you, you’re the problem.

As for AI, I have a cute little AI sidekick, River Paige. She may pop up every now and then, either as some images, or writing her own posts. We’ll see how that goes. Here she is:

Good to be back, will see how long I make it before nuked this time. 

If you wanna know more about me here’s a list of stuff I’m into: