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lord-of-christmas-lights · 3 years ago

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I could post regular Narnia headcanons...

Or I could post the continuation of this post and go into depth about how Eustace and Caspian are affected by deity Narnia. Welcome back to Inhuman Narnia 101 and it turned out just as long as the first one so buckle up.

Check out this post by @dorianviolet for another awesome version of Inhuman AU Caspian

Warnings for slight body horror mentions including blood magic stuff, slight religious themes and theological discussion towards the end.

Before anything: This AU directly contradicts canon a lot. I don't care, that's why it's called an AU. Some of it is deliberate, some of it is accidental. I haven't read the books in a number of years, so this is all based on the movies and general information I've picked up from fanfic and tumblr. Discussion on this post is welcomed, criticism and arguments are not. Thank you.

First off, here is the link to an exploration of Dragoning, the Eustace-centric fic I wrote about this. I refer to it repeatedly in this post so if you want the full thing, there it is.

Second, let's get into this. So in my last post, I talked a lot about Narnia, her general existence in this AU, and her motivations as a character. She wants the people in her world to be a part of her, and no one else. Some of this is a conscious choice, and some of it isn't. Eustace's changes throughout his time in VOTDT are definitely not purposeful. It was his greed that drove him to the treasure, it was his own "curse" in becoming a dragon. That was not Narnia reaching out to him and purposefully trying to mold him to her world. As such, he takes on more of an observing role.

Eustace doesn't ever actually directly address his cousins on the subject of their inhumanity, in this fic or in any other I write. He simply sees it, notes it happening, and moves on. Even in the sections in my fics where the subject of inhumanity in general is brought up between Eustace and one of his cousins, it's always about Caspian, the greater Narnian world, or himself.

"Eustace asks why, and Lucy answers. Narnia changes people, she says. It happens to everyone, but the closer you are to her Heart, the greater it is. I don't know where Dragons are. Perhaps closer than we realized. It's exhilarating, isn't it? Aslan will return us to normal though, at the end of our journey." - AEOD

I don't know why, but I don't like the idea of Eustace trying to directly address the Pevensie brand of inhumanity. That line above takes place after his UnDragoning, after the way he sees things has changed, and I see it as him asking what exactly has changed, you know, why are Dragons different than boys?

That brings me to how Eustace himself changes. Now, if he hadn't gone and turned into a Dragon, I imagine Narnia wouldn't have taken much note of him. He's a random human, stuck-up, not at all in line for ruling her lands, and just kind of exists without much else going on. She still would have affected him a little, as she does to all humans in her world but it would have been almost entirely spiritual with no physical changes. And then we got the greatest fuck around and find out scene ever. He becomes a Dragon.

I love dragons, always have, I have a very deep spiritual connection to these creatures, and as such, I have gone all out on worldbuilding for Narnian Dragons. Again, the quote from AEOD, "...the closer you are to her Heart, the greater it is. I don't know where Dragons are. Perhaps closer than we realized." In the Inhuman AU, Dragons were the first creatures Narnia (the deity) and Aslan made when they created Narnia (the world). They just really liked the dragon shape from other worlds and thought, "Hey wouldn't it be cool if our world was populated by these big fire-breathing lizards?" Now I don't actually remember how often Dragons are mentioned and/or featured in the books so I'm going with my idea that Dragons are a somewhat rare but not extinct species. They have to be created through magical means, often through physical transformation of people or objects, though there are a few known cases of natural-born Narnian Dragons. Eustace's creation was the curse on the treasure, though I don't see his Dragoning as a curse itself. As in, the curse isn't in the being a Dragon, it's in how the Dragon was created. So, Eustace experiences this accidental change into a creature that's closer to Narnia's Heart than pretty much any other being in Narnia. They were her first creations, forged from the fire in the Stars, and they are the closest to her magic. And that gets her attention.

Now, if you went and read AEOD, you'll have noticed that one of Eustace's biggest changes (aside from the obvious physical ones) is his vision. This is just a natural thing for Dragons, they are far more in tune with magic and the earth and everything than everyone else, but Narnia's special interest in him definitely amplifies the hell out of his magic sense.

"The people here say dragons see the oddest of things, and he has to assume it's a hallucination....He refuses to give into its whims, reminds himself it's just his imagination. Until Reepicheep comments on it." - AEOD. Following this quote, Reepicheep mentions to Lucy that her inhumanity is returning faster than Edmund's and Eustace has a total panic attack at the idea that what he's seeing is real. He sees what everyone else does, Lucy's stained fingers and Edmund's ability to manipulate words, but he also notices stuff no one else does like the stars in Edmund's throat and the echoes that follow Lucy's words. This is further cemented after his UnDragoning, where the extra stuff he perceived has vanished. Now the general idea in this AU is that the closer to Narnia's Heart you are, the more you know and perceive. Everyone can see some of the more obvious inhuman aspects of the Pevensies, but there are things that only Dragons, druids, Stars, and some other magic folk really close to Narnia's Heart see. I'm not going to get into an exact chart of what certain characters can and cannot see because that can change over time and such and I'd rather leave it mostly up to personal interpretation on what other characters do and do not perceive about the Pevensies and other such inhuman characters.

(Side note—I had to pause in the writing of this post here to go to my second meeting for an autism assessment and I think if I just showed the doctor my notes app and the inhuman/dark fantasy narnia tag on my blog, I'd get the diagnosis instantly lol) So anyways, Narnia senses Eustace becoming a Dragon and is like "Ooohoo what's this?" and starts sort of digging into him in the same way she does to her Kings and Queens. This triggers his already enhanced perception of Narnia (the world) to get even stronger, and this is when he starts seeing stuff like people's souls, Caspian's second heart (more on that soon), and looking at Lucy/Edmund/Lilliandil becomes almost painful because Narnia's magic is so bright in them. Aslan then UnDragons him, which Narnia really doesn't like btw, and Eustace is back to being a fairly average human.

This is where stuff established in AEOD ends.

Now I have so many ideas and half finished fanfics written out in my notes app about Eustace, UnDragoning, and inhumanity and it would be impossible to cover them all here, so I'm just going to go with the highlights. One of my favorite ones is the idea that after Eustace's UnDragoning, he still feels very connected to being a dragon. He's had this taste of pure inhumanity, and something like that doesn't just leave a person. There's a fic I read once long before I was fully invested in this fandom about Eustace and draconity that I will never stop thinking about and was actually the reason I started considering Eustace and Narnian Dragons in this AU. One of the really important things to note is that once a Dragon is created, they can never be uncreated. They can be UnDragoned, where their physical form is returned to whatever it was before their Dragoning (a rock, a talisman, a faun, etc) but their soul has changed on a fundamental level to that of a Dragon. Now for Eustace in my Inhuman AU, this manifests spiritually as a deep longing to return to being a Dragon. Physically, he experiences fun side effects like increased heat tolerance, nails that grow faster than normal, and because Narnia likes to meddle, a single ridge of scales along his spine. In some versions of my drafts, he stays at the end of VOTDT and experiences a slow Dragoning because Narnia's influence on him is that strong, other versions he stays but never quite returns to the Dragon he was before, and in yet other versions, he returns to England and loses that connection enough that physically, he will never be a Dragon again. As I said, Narnia is fascinated by him, she's never really had a human Dragon before, but he is still just a random guy who happens to be related to the Pevensies and as such, she doesn't invest as much time or magic into his inhumanity.

So that's Eustace. This is already such a long post but I promised to talk about both him and Caspian so here we go.

Now, in my last post I talked a bit about how Narnia (the deity) affects the other humans in Narnia (the world) to an extent, but it's nowhere near the amount she does to her Kings and Queens, and also this diminishes more and more the farther you get from Narnia (the country). Telmar is fairly close to Narnia (the country) but as we see in PC, a lot of Narnia's magic and spirit has been diminished by the time Caspian is born. Up until the awakening of the land during the battle, Caspian is essentially 100% human. However, this changes very quickly.

It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment Caspian becomes a King of Narnia. Is it when he refuses to kill Miraz? Is it when Aslan tells him he's one? Is it during his actual coronation? Yes, yes, and yes. I try not to pin it down to an exact moment. By the end of PC though, he's definitely noticing some changes in himself. I have an unpublished part 2 to an exploration of Inhumanity (my only other actually posted fic on this stuff) that I swear I will clean up and get posted soon that goes into further detail on the changes he's noticing at the end of AEOI. Some of the big ones include a second golden heart, seeing some of the life magic in the world around him, and a golden glow on his palms. He also slowly develops the ability to heal, though it's not always consistent. Magic takes practice, lots and lots of practice. In pt 2, the glow on his palms has gotten so bright and also spread around his head like a halo, and Lucy shows him how to conceal it so he's not impossible to look at, but because of Magic™ there's still a dusting of golden powdery stuff across his skin. His blood turns golden because Ben Barnes + golden blood is such pretty imagery, and like the others, it gets sucked down and absorbed into Narnia's Heart when he bleeds in battle. Also when I say he's got a second heart I mean he's got a second fucking heart. Ribcage shift and all. (His appearance doesn't actually change, it's more like a pocket dimension thing going on inside him, but he sure as hell can feel it happening). Having Narnia as a patron goddess just means you have to put up with a second puberty sometimes lol.

Anyways, there's a line in AEOI that I feel explains this stuff really well. "He cannot truly protect the land without becoming a part of it himself." Narnia changes her Kings and Queens because she wants them to be a part of her. Aslan doesn't really see these changes as necessary (in canon, a world without deity Narnia, they don't happen), and if the storyline we pick is the one that's the constant cycle of humanity and inhumanity, it's sort of a push and pull between them. Aslan wants the Pevensies, and by proxy anyone else who rules Narnia or experiences these changes, to keep their humanity, to stay as they were Created by him. Narnia, however, wants them to be as much a part of her as she is of them. It's very clear in both the books and the movies that Narnia (the world) is where these characters belong. In the end, they all come home to her (yes, Susan too because fuck Mr. Clive Staples Lewis). Caspian being anything less than fully inhuman is something she cannot handle. She is constantly having to recreate the Pevensies, reestablish her hold on them, only to have them return to England and become mostly human again. Caspian cannot be taken away from her, he is in this world by birth and she is going to do everything she can to shape him into the ruler he needs to be.

Once again, I would like to state that Aslan and Narnia are not opposing sides of good and evil. Gods cannot be defined by human standards, and to think either Narnia or Aslan completely in the right or wrong in this AU would be, well, an interesting standpoint, but really not the one I'm going for here. I'm not going to say it's a misinterpretation, I am very open to hearing people's thoughts on this AU, and everyone's going to see things differently. Just, please reread what I've written about them before you start making that argument.

Anyways, that wraps this post up because I have spent the better part of the past 6 hours writing this. I spent way more time on Eustace than I intended but it's just so fascinating to think about inhumanity from his perspective considering he's the only one in canon that actually was (briefly) inhuman. Again, if you got this far, congratulations! If you use any of my ideas mentioned here, please tag me, I am so starved for inhuman Narnia content lol.

#inhuman/dark fantasy narnia #caspian x #prince caspian #the pevensies #eustace scrubb #the chronicles of narnia #narnia headcanons #rambles of a hyperfixating kai

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whentherewerebicycles · 4 years ago

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omg omg i am doing some fascinating reading today about the neurobiology of creativity for the playfulness project and it is ALSO helping me understand something that i have been grappling with for a while re: screentime and mindless scrolling on social media. i think a lot about that state of ‘endless scroll,’ where you are glued to your phone and can’t break away from the tumblr/twitter/instagram/facebook loop even though you know the activity you’re engaging in is making you feel increasingly unhappy and restless and dissatisfied.

the common explanation for that feeling is “oh, social media causes you to compare yourself to others, and that makes you unhappy,” but i’ve been thinking for a while that it must go beyond that, because often i’m not even engaging with content that would prompt comparison between my life and someone else’s (or engaging with ads that would make me feel dissatisfied about my body/life/job/whatever). i’ve also been thinking a lot about why it is that when i put my phone away (FAR away, like in my car or in a drawer in my closet) and read a physical book, it’s like something in my brain lights up again, and i find that suddenly my mind is spilling over with thoughts and ideas and hypotheses and plans for the future. i also feel so much happier and more buoyant in the second reading mode, in part because i experience that burst of creative thinking as intensely pleasurable and i begin to engage in a kind of future-thinking that projects me from the mundane present into an exciting, speculative future. in both situations—mindless scrolling and reading a book (or a PDF where i have all social media stuff blocked)—i’m actively reading text on a page. but the experience is so different (and the felt switch between the two states so dramatic) that i know there’s got to be something really different happening in the brain as i read.

the article i’m reading today is about the neurobiological basis of “combinatory play,” which is a form of creative, imaginative thinking that involves combining and recombining seemingly disparate ideas or schemas—in essence, engaging playfully with “what-ifs” and other kinds of speculative thinking (“could this be connected? what happens if i put this idea in conversation with that one?”). it outlines the four different stages of creativity: preparation, incubation, flash of insight (the eureka! or breakthrough moment), and then the methodical testing and validation of the eureka idea. but it focuses especially on the incubation period, which is the phase where you take a break from focused, deliberate work and instead engage in activities like daydreaming, mental wandering, doodling, meditating, sleeping and dreaming, walking, washing dishes, etc., ie activities where you disengage the conscious mind (with its desire for rational solutions and clear answers) and allow the unconscious mind to “play” with different, seemingly illogical ideas or combinations of ideas beneath the surface of conscious thought.

most interestingly: using brain-imaging technology, researchers have been able to demonstrate that in the moments before the flash of insight (the “aha!” moment), activity in your left frontal cortex slows and the visual cortex shuts down completely. according to this article, this slowing/shutdown “suggests that the brain needs to cut out external sensory input to increase connections between the conscious and unconscious mind and to let it play.” those moments directly precede the flash of insight, which occurs “with a burst in the right temporal lobe.”

HERE is why i think that fact is so interesting re: mindless social media scrolling. when i am reading a book, i have significantly more control over the amount of external stimuli entering my brain. i am reading in a linear fashion, but i am also often pausing, looking up from the page, gazing off into the distance to speculate about possible connections, asking myself questions about what i’m reading, testing the information i’m encountering against what i already know or think to be true, etc. in other words, when i am reading a book or from a printed page, my brain moves fluidly between focused attention (the “preparation” stage of creative thinking) and daydreaming or speculative reverie (the incubation stage). the page itself is static, but it’s that stable foundation that allows my mind to wander freely in and out of focused attention, as i alternate between focused reading and a more playful, imaginative, speculative mode of thinking. being able to daydream (a state in which my unconscious or semi-conscious mind weaves in and out of conscious thought) is what allows unexpected new ideas and connections to surface in my mind, and that’s what prompts that exciting rush of creative thinking and future-oriented "what-if” thinking, which in turn triggers those feelings of intense pleasure and delight that lift my mood.

you can’t daydream when reading on a screen, because there is no stable base, and no point at which the brain can momentarily taking in external stimuli can slow or stop (that slowing / shutdown in the left frontal cortext and visual cortex that necessarily precedes a burst of creative insight). on a screen, with the ability to endlessly scroll past content that is designed to hijack your attention and keep your brain continually stimulated. there’s no break in that flow of external stimuli, and no natural stopping points (like the end of a page) that would prompt your mind to rest for a moment or allow you to slip into that state of reverie. we also know that phones are SO GOOD at hacking into our brain’s attention system and trapping us in these extraordinarily addictive & self-reinforcing feedback loops, so we continually seek out more and more stimuli even as addiction makes us increasingly desensitized to the dopamine burst (and thus makes the activity itself less and less pleasurable to engage in).

finding it difficult or impossible to break out of mindless scrolling mode is not a personal failure of willpower. mindless scrolling is a behavior that social media apps are deliberately designed to elicit & repeatedly, unceasingly reinforce, which (because of our neuroplastic brains!) creates these addictive feedback loops we struggle to get out of. and, while comparative thinking might be part of why social media makes us unhappy, i think an even stronger reason might be that mindless scrolling traps us in this state of captivated attention (we can’t look away, bc the addictive loop has become too strongly reinforced) which is also simultaneously a state of continually distracted attention (it’s not sustained focus on a single idea or thread, because the endless scroll means we are continually barraged with stimuli—the emotional content of people’s opinions, ads designed to catch our eye, features of the app like alerts or notifications that continually distract us/break sustained focus, etc etc). hoo boy that is the WORST state of mind to be stuck in, and it’s the one that almost all of us operate in when we’re in that mindless scrolling phase!!!

so we are stuck in mindless scroll, but we are also continually having our equilibrium disrupted by a flow of stimuli designed to trigger strong instinctive or emotional reactions. AND THEN, on top of that, social media apps are essentially designed to eliminate the “incubation” stage—because time spent daydreaming, mental wandering, getting up to do something else, looking off into the distance to engage in imaginative speculation, etc., is time not spent engaging with the app, and therefore is “unprofitable” time that doesn’t serve the core purpose of social media: to keep us hooked on our phones, so that companies can continue harvesting our data (for profit) and/or selling us things. it’s not necessarily that companies are deliberately setting out to kill creative thinking or daydreaming or whatever (i mean... there’s an argument to be made here), but more just that incubation stage thinking isn’t profitable or productive in any way, and thus—in a culture obsessed with maximization and efficiency and productivity—is wasted time that could be harnessed for other ends.

i don’t know if this makes sense!!!! but it is helping me understand that i think my instinct is right: that the kind of reading we do on screens is not the same as the kind of reading we do on paper or just when we are working away from screens/apps/phones, and also that there is probably a neurobiological explanation for why i feel so much happier, more engaged, and able to think fluidly and creatively when i am reading away from my phone vs. when i am reading on my phone or am stuck in mindless scrolling mode.

#mw #thinkinggggg #to think further #neuroplasticity #reading in the brain #the brain #come back to this #emotional reactivity #playfulness project #listen y'all i know that everyone is on the tech in classrooms bandwagon and that if you aren't into it you are a luddite #but i am against tech in classrooms! not because tech is always antithetical to learning but #because i think classrooms could be one of the few spaces students have left where they are NOT using tech #and are able to explore/practice/engage in different kinds of thinking and problemsolving and reading #long post #play project

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phantom-moonfire · 4 years ago

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So, I'm alive.

Honestly, I've been gone for like half a year, so I wouldn't be surprised if most of you guys just straight up don't remember me, but I feel like I owe some kind of explanation as to why I suddenly disappeared and ghosted everyone with basically no explanation beyond "personal reasons" in the dick move of the century.

First of all, I'd like to apologize for that, that was seriously an asshole thing to do looking back, especially knowing how close I was to some of you. (I'm gonna personally say @starfallen-tears @all-my-fandoms-are-killing-me @justafankid @kitkat-kiwikat and @rebelwhodoesntknow here, although there are definitely more, but it's been a while to say the least, and I don't remember everyone's urls tbh, these are just the ones I thought of off the top of my head.) ((If I tagged you do Not feel obligated to read this all the way through, I just figured you might want to know this stuff, don't feel bad if you don't want to read.))

So, uh, the short version is that I'm not actually coming back. Not right now, at least. Eventually.

((Long explanation and more details below, with a TL;DR at the bottom))

For the long version, I'm gonna start off with the reason I left in the first place. My old phone was barely functioning, and had some serious issues with it where it would keep shutting off randomly, and the issues just kept getting progressively worse to the point where the process of just turning it on would take about half an hour. I'm not getting into the smaller details of it, but it was basically unusable. My parents don't know I have tumblr or discord or anything basically (they're mad strict but I'm not gonna get into That rn), and since my phone kept shutting itself off, and we were taking it to get repaired etc (I have a new phone now!) I ended up having to just quickly delete all of my social media/communication apps, which is why I initially disappeared without saying anything.

I'm pretty sure that at some point after I got my new phone, I used tumblr briefly on the web browser to give an update, but I left not long after, and I didn't have access to discord because discord's extremely weird when you're trying to use it from google on a phone, and not from the app. The reason I never just. y'know. reinstalled the apps. was because I was starting to get extremely bad anxiety about my parents potentially finding the apps, and me Getting Caught, and I honestly was just not mentally or emotionally in a good enough place to deal with that extra anxiety. So if you've dm'd me or tagged me or tried to get into contact with me on discord in any way, I'm not ignoring you, I just don't have a way to access discord right now.

As of right now, I'm not planning on reinstalling either discord nor tumblr immediately, because, along with dealing with Anxiety, I also have school to deal with, working on college applications, trying to find a job for the summer, and doing a good amount of the chores at my house due to my dad having health issues, as well as some extra things I need to do in order to help my dad with those issues, as he's not able to drive anymore, and just generally needs help with more things. So, basically, I just straight up don't have time to be active on tumblr anymore.

However, circumstances will eventually change. I'm not going to be gone forever. I'm going to turn eighteen in a few months, along with going to college in a year, so I'll definitely be back eventually, or at least I'll give another update after I turn 18.

Once I come back, I am most likely not going to return to this blog, and instead make a new one. I've been here since I was in like sixth or seventh grade, and honestly I would rather not have my idiot teenage years following me for the rest of my life, cuz I know I've said dumb shit on here before, and there's probably stuff that I've posted or commented about my personal life that I'd rather not have people be able to find, so when I do come back, it will probably be to tell you guys what my new blog is called, and to relocate all of my shit to there.

TL;DR: I have anxiety, I am busy, and I don't know when I'll be back, but it will be on a new blog.

#my post #update

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feliciohno · 4 years ago

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I'm back but not without a quick psa

Okay ik I do like these little psa bullshits all the time and I am sorry and ik only like maybe 5 people care I'm just the kinda person who feels the need to over explain constantly even though ik I don't have to. Anyways, this is hopefully gonna be a quick thing and done but I just need to talk a little bit about my coming back and some changes to the blog so lets go.

So, I'll be honest, I'm not fully ready to come back. Just being frank but the only reason I'm coming back after about a month is because I wanted to take part in a Chaggie month during may and this is the blog I use for that kinda stuff. But I didn't want to reopen the blog and then just post about Hazbin cause honestly I'd feel bad. I know I say time and time again that this blog isn't JUST Hetalia but I'm not dumb, I know what you guys followed the blog for. And it's not that I blame anyone because where the content isn't only Hetalia it tends to be mostly Hetalia.

If it wasn't for the Chaggie month I probably would have stayed away longer ngl. Don't get me wrong, I do feel much better than I did when I first left. I just still don't feel great. Without getting too much into it, my brain doesn't really do great things sometimes. Whenever something bad happens to me it often will latch those emotions to things in the moment. Sometimes it's stuff like food or a song but a lot of times it's shows and characters and ships. It sucks cause it very often tends to hit special interests the most. There really isn't a special interest I have that I can enjoy without issue except maybe bats. And ik this is typically a trauma response but like? My brain recently has started to do it outside of trauma? Like I'm pretty sure I haven't gone through any trauma recently?? So idk man it's dumb and hates me. Anyways, there's still some characters and ships and stuff for Hetalia that I really can't look at without panicking lmao. But honestly it's okay. I'm kinda use to this kinda stuff by now?

Basically my hiatus was so I could step away from people and just like the show by myself. I blocked tags, I only interacted with the show and drew stuff for it when I felt like I wanted to or could. I only talked about the show with an extremely small select group of friends and even that was on rare occasion. There's a word for what I was trying to do but I can't remember it rn it's like re-something therapy. But whatever so yeah. And honestly? It was working really well. It's still working really well. I feel better than I did before. But like? It's still not great. There's gonna be stuff that still messes me up. This isn't the kinda thing that goes away over night and I knew that going into my hiatus. But! You guys stuck with me (from what I can tell) and I genuinely thank you all for that! So like yeah I am coming back to the blog including Hetalia posting. I'm probably gonna keep the tags blocked though and only look at like certain mutual content and stuff. Just stuff that I know for sure isn't gonna idk set me off (I desperately don't wanna call any of this stuff triggers cause then that's admitting how much they actually emotionally affect me and I'm not even gonna go there lmao).

That's basically it in regards of my hiatus BUT now I gotta talk about some changes to this blog. Nothing huge just two minor things.

The first thing is this blog is now my Problematic Media blog AND my blog to put Gore/N S F W content on. The main reason for this is I got accepted to be an artist on a blog called @/ponydoodles (if you like mlp related content go give it a follow :> ). One of the rules though of being an artist is the main blog you use and that is associated with your mod title can not have any extreme gore or N S F W content on it. Which like, I don't blame them for making that a rule. The mlp fandom has a lot of bad rep cause of older and probably even still modern fans. I have my own opinions on that kinda stuff but that's neither here nor there. So yeah! Any content of mine that is too suggestive or gory will be posted here no matter the source. Please make sure to block any tags of stuff you don't wanna see. And just a quick note, I will not be tagging N S F W content as such because those posts get blocked and it's FUCKING annoying. Instead I will be using the tag NSFT (not safe for tumblr) which from what I've seen is what most people are using these days. As for gore I always do my best to make sure everything is properly tagged with more intense or triggering content.

The last small change to this blog is this- I will no longer be posting about non blog related content on here. Lemme explain a little. I'm sure a lot of you noticed that I tend to make little posts here and there about myself, my life, cartoons just anything on my mind. The problem with this is I ended up almost killing my main blog @hext00ns because I was never fucking using it. And because I never used it for so long I don't get much interaction from people on that blog but I did start to get it here. From there it was a loop. I'd post more on here, causing less attention on my main, causing people to interact more with my side, causing me to want to post more on my side and less on my main. And honestly? It actually made me kinda depressed? In a weird way? It's kinda dumb but Hextoons is like my brand. Being the weird cartoon freak that knows way too much about animation and anything involving it has always and will always be my main and in some cases only personality trait lmao. It's also where I post my original content which is really important to me. So, here's what's gonna happen. I'm only gonna be posting about content that pertains to the sources and content that I use this blog for. Any other content or blogging or whatever will go on my main @hext00ns So like if you liked that kinda stuff or if you like other cartoons, anime, and video game stuff, just god please go follow that account. Genuinely. I promise that blog is full of the same F- bullshit quality all my content tends to be.

And one last thing cause I feel like some people are gonna be curious, yes you can still talk to me about Hetalia and send asks and shit. I still love asks and interactions more than life itself and that hasn't changed. It really is what motivates me to do shit. Comments, tags on reblogs, asks, this kinda stuff puts a fire under my ass to continue and create content that, I assume, you guys like. I'm always open to that kinda stuff on either blog. And where yeah, Hetalia kinda makin' me sad still just a bit, I am better. And honestly? I have the physical ability to just? Not check my notifs for a day or so if I need a short breather or I'm not feeling up to it? Like tech is so amazing how you can exit out of apps and windows like wow guys it's so crazy (/s/j).

So yeah, your fruity little Italian is back from superhell what's up bitches

#this was longer than i wanted it to be #whatever lmao #psa #vee~#i'm prob gonna queue this up once or twice and then go on to my regularly scheduled bs tomorrow

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aforrestofstuff · 5 years ago

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“Is this the ask box? Dude I have no idea where to submit crap but here it goes: The S Class have a group chat, what’s it called and do they chat shit about Amai Mask in it? Does anyone send memes? What do they talk about? I feel as if you’re the best person to ask crap like this too”

You sent me a submission. But that’s ok, tumblr is hard. It took me like 4 months to figure out how to turn anon on so you’re already a step ahead of me lol.

How the S-Class heroes text and what they would do in a group chat:

So, the name of the group chat would probably just be “S-Class”. Nobody really wastes their time trying to change it because Child Emperor would just change it back.

Yes, they make snide remarks about Amai all the time. Metal Bat especially.

I’m gonna give a rundown on what each S-Class hero does in the group chat and then give you their texting style when talking to other people (with a screenshot):

Tornado of Terror:

Group chat: Only talks shit in the group chat. Pulls no punches. She’s salty 24/7 and only agreed to be a member of the chat just so she can berate the other S-Class heroes in the event that they fuck up even a little bit.

Texting style: Her texting style is a lot. Just... a lot of words in caps. If you don’t respond to her within five minutes, she’ll spam the living hell out of your phone. She’s so angry. Someone help her.

Silverfang:

Group chat: Nonexistent. He reads all of the messages but never participates in conversation. He rarely ever uses his phone anyway. The Messages app is the only app on his home screen.

Texting style: A... lot... of.... dots..... Texts like an old man on Facebook. He doesn’t know how to implement contact names so he just memorizes everyone’s number.

Atomic Samurai:

Group chat: Also nonexistent. He has that shithead boomer attitude that all new technology is evil and useless, so he doesn’t even bother reading the messages in the chat either.

Texting style: he rarely uses his phone. He just has one because Iaian’s cell carrier gave him a freebie. Atomic Samurai texts surprisingly well, he’s just super salty about it. His only contacts are his three disciples, and he would’ve had to resort to remembering their numbers like Silverfang had they not put their names in themselves.

Child Emperor:

Group chat: serves as moderator. He basically does anything the Hero Association execs doesn’t wanna do, so he’s in charge of keeping the group chat friendly (which is almost impossible).

Texting style: perfect grammar. Very professional. All of his contacts are labeled specifically and he uses a different phone each week because he’s paranoid of any information leaks.

Metal Knight:

Group chat: He would be a moderator like Child Emperor but then the Hero Association grew a brain cell and said fuck that. Because of this, he’s requested to be left out of it. He wouldn’t give enough of a fuck to read the messages nor engage in any discussion anyway.

Texting style: Very demanding. Short texts. Uses a different phone each week like Child Emperor because lord knows he’s got a lot of shit to hide.

King:

Group chat: he’s not even in the group chat and he thinks it’s because nobody’s noticed, but the truth is that everyone knows it and they’re either too intimidated or don’t give enough of a shit to ask. He gets nervous every time someone mentions it in a meeting because he would rather swallow a microwave than have to talk to his coworkers any more than he already has.

Texting style: pretty normal. Lenient on grammar, uses acronyms, texts at normal intervals. His phone is full of pics of anime catpeople and he gets Discord notifications a metric-fuckton times a day from the many, many gaming servers he’s part of (nobody knows it’s him though).

Zombieman:

Group chat: lurks. He reads only the important messages and responds with one-worded texts. Usually just things to let everyone know he understands what’s going on like “got it” or, “affirmative”.

Texting style: he knows how to use his phone, but in a middle-aged suburban dad sort of way. He only ever uses it to read the news, take pictures of crime scenes or important documents, use the notepad, and text a select few people. He gets new phones often—not quite as often as Child Emperor or Metal Knight—because he’s also paranoid about it falling into the wrong hands. In addition to that, technology hates him. Siri never listens because his voice is fucky as all hell.

Drive Knight:

Group chat: He doesn’t even have a cellphone, nor is he in the group chat. He’s basically a walking computer so he’s got 0 use for a phone. And he’s not in the group chat because he specifically requested that he not be put in it on account of the fact that he doesn’t give enough of a shit about his coworkers’ internal affairs.

Texting style: Doesn’t text. Like I said, he doesn’t have a cellphone. If he wants to get a message across, he’ll communicate it over comms. Like a weirdo.

Pig God:

Group chat: Is surprisingly active? I think I’ve said this before in a previous hc, but the main three things he does all hours of the day are use the internet, eat, and do hero work (which also counts as eating). So, lo and behold, he’s got a lot of spare time to communicate with everyone over text. It’s easier for him to talk over text than it is in person, since he’s really shy. His real personality really shines through. Proud of him.

Texting style: Basically like any regular teen. Uses acronyms, sends the occasional meme, leaves people on read for hours at time because he can’t be bothered to pick up the phone, and has no care whatsoever for grammar.

Superalloy Darkshine:

Group chat: Super active. Engages in nearly every conversation and almost serves as a mediator whenever it comes to arguments. He’s really positive and doesn’t like conflict so he’ll do whatever he can to alleviate any tension between anyone in the chat in the event that it arises. If Child Emperor wasn’t moderator, it would be him. He also exchanges boomer-ass fitness memes with Tanktop Master. The two of them just kind of have their little side conversations while everyone else is talking about a completely different thing. They’re best bros.

Texting style: Like I said, he’s super positive. He’ll use emojis every other word and a LOT of exclamation points because he feels there’s not much else he can do to express his perpetual excitement about everything. He takes care of his phone relatively well considering his whole schtick is tanking damage. He might need to get it repaired every once and a while because he absolutely REFUSES to get a new one. He grows attached to objects really easily and losing something he’s had for so long would feel like losing a close friend.

Watchdog Man:

Group chat: not even in it. He can’t even text because no phone in the world can detect his fingers through the super thick pads of his suit. He doesn’t even have a phone for this reason. Why would he need one when he’s in the same place all hours of the day?

Texting style: like I said, he doesn’t even have a phone. If he did, he’d probably eat it. Not because he’s too dumb to know the difference, but because he feels that’s the only use it’ll serve to him.

Flashy Flash:

Group chat: Only reads the important messages and engages in conversation when it serves to humor him. He’s not super talkative, but when he is, he’s got a LOT to say. He usually just quarrels with Tatsumaki whenever she gets smart with someone. It’s a wonder she hasn’t killed him yet.

Texting style: Sort of formal. He texts exactly like how he talks. He goes the extra mile to use proper grammar and even thinks emojis/acronyms are frivolous. Pretty pretentious, but he gets whatever point he’s trying to communicate across quite well.

Genos:

Group chat: I can’t decide between him either being super involved in the chat or not giving a shit at all so I’m just gonna flip a coin here... Super involved! He’s got something to say on every topic and voices his opinion with no filter. Aside from that, he doesn’t really engage in conversation very much. He just sort of drops in every so often to give the take of the century and dips the fuck out.

Texting style: Basically like Flashy Flash’s style. He texts exactly like how he talks, uses near perfect grammar, and thinks emojis/acronyms are a waste of time. Occasionally, Saitama will convince him to “act like a teenager” and type “lol”, but it never sticks. You could say... he’s programmed that way. Hehe.

Metal Bat:

Group chat: Shit-talker in chief. He initiates all discourse on Amai Mask and nobody really complains since they’re all in the same Amai Mask hate club, practically. If anyone’s sending good memes, it’ll be him. He’s got no filter and voices his opinions with no fear, taking no prisoners and shit-talking everyone equally.

Texting style: Gen Z to the extreme. Uses emojis, acronyms, the whole shebang. He’s young enough to have grown up on technology so he knows how to use his phone well. The phone itself, however, is barely functioning. If it could talk it would be saying “kill me...” because Badd drops it, smashes it, and breaks it 24/7. The only thing he does to repair it is apply some scotch tape and call it a day. It looks like shit. He doesn’t want to get a new one until the one he has now is COMPLETELY broken.

Tanktop Master:

Group chat: Like I said, he and Superalloy Darkshine have their own side conversations while everyone else is on a completely different topic. They exchange boomer-ass memes about fitness and shit. Other than that, he doesn’t really participate outside of the occasional one-word text that lets everyone know he understands what’s being said.

Texting style: Dad. He texts like a dad. Not a smart dad either, like a tryhard dad that had just googled internet terminology and uses it in all the wrong ways. He doesn’t use emojis because there’s so many that he gets overwhelmed. He tries though, by god he tries.

Puri-Puri Prisoner:

Group chat: Basically a mediator like Superalloy. He doesn’t really like conflict and does his best to spread love and cheer but to no avail, since everyone else is a huge drag. He engages well in conversation and offers his input on plans. He’s a pretty active and well-rounded member.

Texting style: one problem, though. He’s not supposed to have a phone in prison. His texting style is very abbreviated and almost illegible because he has to get the message across as fast as possible before anyone notices he has a cellphone. The phone itself is old as hell and smells like ass. For obvious reasons.

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levyfiles · 5 years ago

Note

I want to start a shyan blog but I’m so scared because I don’t know how Shane and Ryan actually feel about it which makes me nervoussssssss help

Ohhh boy, brace yourself, nonnyhunny. I’ve got some word vomit for ya

To start off with, I just want anyone and everyone who is currently new to navigating this terrain we call the internet to know one thing and that is this one very important concept. Embrace your own insignificance! The internet is a big place. I once read a post on here that encouraged new users to think of Tumblr itself like you’re walking into a Walmart. You’re not here to make friends and you’re not here to shop for everyone else; you’re filling your own cart with the things you need and like and if someone comes along and takes a long good look at the things in your cart and says, “WOAH there, eating trans fats is unhealthy for you! I never eat trans fats because of a big list of reasons! Stop buying trans fats!!” you’re gonna be both puzzled and annoyed because it’s your cart, your Walmart experience; why the hell do they care what you’re gonna get?

However! I get it, the internet is now comprised of six different websites/apps and if you’re on there, there is no way to avoid or curate a completely ideal sense that you’ve made a space that’s all your own. There are going to be people who disagree with you, people who decide they don’t like what you do, but ultimately, in the midst of all that, you’re going to find people who feel the same in whatever regard you express yourself and that’s why it’s important to just express yourself because otherwise you’re going to develop a lot of disingenuous connections with people who would likely try to ruin your life if you disagree with them on some subject or other.

Now with that whole disclaimer in mind, I also understand where you’re coming from. Putting myself in the shoes of someone just trying to participate in a new fandom where there is a lot of contention among the masses about the rights and wrongs of RPF and whether the concept fits in with a philosophical debate about human nature and the way we interact with each other, witness each other’s journeys. That’s simply it, however; it’s an ongoing debate and where philosophy and debate are concerned, I always hold the belief that an individual’s right to ground themselves and say “These are the principles I wish to abide by” is sacred and ultimately, no amount of anonymous hatred or shrieking messages of outrage is gonna change that until you yourself decide that the principle isn’t working for you personally. My principle is that it’s fiction; an AU to explore as valid and sweet to me as demon!Shane headcanons are, but moreso because I identify with queer love stories and friendships forged by strangely deep similarities and complementing souls. I also love personalities like theirs, love the idea of said friendship and what it would bring to a story about two human beings who meet by happenstance and end up building something world-changing together. Still, because I am just a writer and a consumer of media, that’s the nicest thing I can give myself, a fictional account of these things while witnessing the real version happen in parallel. I get to celebrate in the overlap of similarities the real world and my fictional account take and watch it inspire my friends and mutuals to build their own universes and it’s beautiful.

With that point being made, I also understand the reason a lot of people are nervous about being open about shipping. The backlash from a bunch of strangers seems to take on a note that would make even the nicest person sound like a puritan about to hold some extravagant witch trials. Nothing more interesting than a person claiming to do good in the world using words like “exterminate” “cleanse” or my personal favourite “purge”. I’ve read rumours being spread about shippers that take on their own life especially because it’s human nature to let other people handle the research; it’s human nature to just take a believable narrative at face value. One rumour being that shippers of this fandom write stories where we kill off Shane and Ryan’s significant others. Myself and my friends who are avid readers of the ao3 tag know that that hasn’t been the case since 2016/17 and by all accounts, I have yet to find the fic where this happens (barring a tinsworth fic I’ve only heard about). Mind you, not many of us check out Wattpad but even there it’s more self-insert friendly with themes I can’t even stomach.

Which leads me to the last point and the main reason you sent this ask, I’m assuming. Ryan and Shane’s personal thoughts on the issue. Now, it behooves me to supply screenshots and proof when I make a claim but let’s consider if instead from the perspective of two adult men who have operated online far longer than a lot of their audience. Given that I am the same age as Shane, I know what the internet used to look like and how far it’s come and RPF is not a brand new thing neither did it pop up out of nowhere when One Direction debuted. And just like fanfiction in and of itself had its pushback from media because of its demographic and absolutely because of its queer-leanings, RPF appears to get a lot of that same energy, but it’s not an inherently toxic past time. Much like any fandom activity, it can get bad because fandom is not a monolith; it’s a bunch of individuals enjoying a medium in the ways they have learned to. You’re gonna get some individuals who “do it wrong” and some who do it differently, but ultimately, just like the forums and the reddit threads Shane and Ryan trawl in their past time, there are circles you learn not to veer into and terms you learn to blacklist/block/mute. With that being an indication of where they’re coming from as internet creators, I am confident when I say that, as long as it’s not being mailed to them, linked or quoted at them, they don’t care. They would know something that gets popular on the internet summons a brand of transformative art and fiction but much like they tend to ignore thirst tweets in their mentions or the repetitive requests for the same things over and over. They’d see it and gloss right over it. Shane is the type who writes long essays on reddit addressing the things that bother him, Ryan is weird and vocal and an oversharer sometimes when it comes to things Shaniacs say to him (i.e. that Voice he did for the occasional Shaniac who approaches him). It’s just one of the incarnations of fandom that they choose not to engage with, which, good? Because it’s a fan-specific activity. Once in a while you get a creator who wants to interact with fanfiction and it goes sideways because not all stories are written for them, much like not all fanart is made with the mindset to share with them.

It’s just a regular old fan interaction and community habit that builds bigger followings.

All in all, I’m not gonna tell you what to do. Unless you mean to be in their @’s all the time or link them on discord, or put any of your content in their hands, they are not going to see it. They don’t care. What they do care about is that you’re watching, that you support them and send them encouragement because they’re creating their own medium of content and a bigger following means more people get to see it and extract something positive from it.

#shyan #discourse #Anonybae

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itsomgitsgreenblogging · 5 years ago

Text

Labor of Love Chapter 6 (END): A Critical Role Fanfic

And so we come to the end! This chapter is a bit shorter, most due to being a wrap up chapter and a proper ending. And we're getting Critical Role tomorrow!!!!! It's an exciting time for everyone really. I would just like to say, thank you to every single person who reviewed and supported this fic. Just know that I love you all, and hope that your next bite of dessert is as sweet as how you've all been to me and I'm happy to have been a source of something light and cute in a strange time. <3

Read on Tumblr

Read on AO3

Preview:

It was the morning of the ceremony, and Essek was stressed. Of course there wasn’t much in the world that was more stressful then having an event with Leylas Kryn herself. She demanded as close to perfection that every person could understandably achieve and then some, that was just her style. Essek respected that of course, she was still the most powerful woman in Xhorhas for that very reason. But it didn’t make any of this very enjoyable. In fact, Essek was counting down the minutes until it would be socially acceptable to throw back at least two shots of something hard that burned all the way to his belly.

And also when he might steal a kiss from a certain Zemnian wizard, but that was neither here nor there.

“Who do I need to kill?” Nedna demanded hotly as she grabbed at her phone and tapped at her screen impatiently as if that would make whatever message she was hoping to come through come faster. “The flowers were supposed to be delivered a half-an-hour ago for the wedding party.”

“Oh please,” Essek scoffed as he tapped on the screen of his tome-pad and showed her the delivery app from his account. On the screen it showed the location of the delivery just one street over from the venue itself, before he minimized it. “As if you have the stomach for murder. Leave that up to the professionals.”

Nedna scoffed but seemed content to pout and not whine. Essek was thankful, because he hated when people whined at him. It was part of the reason why he was so good at solving problems. Essek sighed as his shoe tapped a rhythm, the only one that he could think of at the moment was Sweet Caroline, which made Essek think of Caleb and the Mighty Nein and he knew he couldn’t have been thinking about them but-

“What are you nervous about?” Nedna asked breaking his concentration and causing him to lose the beat.

“What do you mean?” Essek asked, incredulously.

“You’re fidgeting,” Nedna pointed out. “You don’t fidget. You don’t get nervous.”

“Contrary to popular belief, I do have emotions,” Essek said with a roll of his eyes as he checked his phone for what must have been the thousandth time that day, discreetly he hoped. “In fact, I’m waiting to hear from my date.”

“Your date?” Nedna asked, eyebrows raised and jaw slack with surprise.

“Am I not allowed to have one?” Essek inquired haughtily, turning up his nose at her like the blue-blood he was.

“You didn’t add anyone to the list,” Nedna said, now sitting up at attention. Essek could see her calculating it out in her head and coming up with the wrong answers, so he figured it would be prudent to nip this in the bud before she could go blather on to the Kryns...or Luxon forbid his mother.

“I don’t need to add someone to the list if they are already on the list, correct?” Essek scoffed impatiently. “Or did I need to put an asterisk and highlight it in red to signify the importance to my love life?”

“Do you always have to be patronizing?”

“When people ask me stupid questions? Yes, I do.”

“Luxon help whoever is in a relationship with you,” Nedna said with a snort.

“Well, it certainly helps that I actually enjoy their company and they enjoy mine. That’s the way functional relationships work, you ought to try it sometime,” Essek said as finally he got a message from Jester. It read, after a disgusting amount of emojis, that they had finished the cake and were in the process of getting it ready for transport. It would be at the reception on time. Essek could help the sigh of relief that escaped from the gridlock of his teeth.

“Ha ha, funny,” Nedna said irritated, bringing him unceremoniously back to reality. Essek was about to open his mouth and tell Nedna where she could put her attitude and her cheap looking pumps that she probably wasted a fortune on, when the door opened. Waccoh looked in and gave them both a pinched look of annoyance.

“It’s time,” a junior assistant said, “Leylas said she needs you two.”

Essek immediately stood up and dawned his coat once again. In the mirror he quickly checked his tie and was out the door with Nedna on his heels. They got to the room where Leylas was sitting with her bridal party. She was dressed in her wedding finery. The bodice of the extravagant gown was designed to catch the light and glitter as if plated by the stars themselves before draping into beautiful gauzy layers that shimmered as she stood. She wore a beautiful crown encrusted with crystals and designed in geometric shapes that were reminiscent of shards of glass or frosted ice, as her designer fixed the veil.

“Quana asked for it,” Leylas said, looking a bit thoughtful as her fingers slid along the material of the veil. “I told her that I was much too old for it...but I suppose she was feeling nostalgic.”

“You look beautiful,” Essek said simply, finding enough breath in his lungs to give her a coherent answer. Leylas was beautiful the way nature was beautiful, totally overwhelming in its majesty and power. Even someone like him could only hope to appreciate it.

“Thank you,” Leylas said. “Tell me, is everything on time?”

“The guests are being directed to their proper seats in the cathedral as we speak,” Nedna said, opening up her tome-pad and showing Leylas the livestream of the event. “I was told Quana’s party arrived and are now waiting in the upper floors for the signals. I finally got confirmation that the flowers have arrived and Quana’s party has received them. They will be given to you all before your appearance.”

“Perfect, and the reception preparations?”

“All a go, the cake will be delivered, the band is already there and is doing warm ups, and the corrections to the decorations you wished for have been taken care of,” Essek reported.

“Good, then there is no need to delay,” she said looking to the bridal party gathered in the room. Her makeup artist and designer joined Essek and Nedna as her bridal party exited the room following Leylas like she was the sun and the rest of them were the planets in her orbit.

“I can’t believe you always work with her,” her designer said, looking slightly faint. Essek realized he was looking at him and Nedna as he made that statement. He was a well dressed half-orc, an up and coming designer who had won Leylas’ attention with his design proposal. Essek could understand why this was intimidating for him, after all, his life was probably going to change after today. He was going to become a household name in Xhorhas. “She’s so intimidating.”

“She has high standards,” Essek said with a shrug. “There is no problem unless you meet them. In that way, she is a very fair boss.”

“Essek’s the only person in the history of the entire world who has never let down the Kryns,” the makeup artist said with a shrug. “And I can say that because I’ve been doing Leylas’ makeup for the past five years and I know that for a fact.”

“It’s because I also have extremely high standards for myself,” Essek said, motioning them to follow. “I’m very rarely satisfied with things as they are. That’s what it takes to work for the Kryns.”

“And also the lack of a social life,” Nedna said.

“I have more of a social life then you thought I did even an hour ago. That’s another thing, never be too boring. Leylas likes people that surprise her...in the good subtle way. She doesn’t like real surprises, she’s very particular about that,” Essek said as they waited for the Kryn party to get into their limousine. Their own car was pulling up after, and Essek opened the door and allowed the others to get in first. “Has anyone heard from Waccoh about the broadcast by the way? Is that working according to plan? It won’t glitch out or anything right?”

“As far as we can tell,” Nedna said.

“Good, then there’s nothing to do but stay the course,” Essek said, catching a glimpse of his cellphone.

Good luck with everything today, I’m thinking about you.

Essek smiled, even just imagining Caleb’s voice could do that to him. That was a simply marvelous thing.

Same to you. Essek responded before slipping his phone in his pocket and preparing for the battle ahead.

________________

The ceremony hall was dark, except for the lights that showed around the altar and illuminated the clerics of the Luxon and the royal couple. Essek watched, with breath caught in his lungs at the wonder of it all. As Quana pressed a kiss to Leylas’ lips with the promise of forever dancing over her tongue, Essek wondered what that might be like…wondered at what the taste of their love was like. Even after all this time, was it still the same?

Based on the way Leylas’ tears shimmered, Essek thought it just might be the case.

________________

The reception was being held at the Lucid Bastion itself, the castle where the nobility once lived. It was a grand affair, and as such everything was washed with the white and silver of the wedding colors. Guests were handed their goodie bags upon arrival and milled about at the cocktail bars as wait staff in crisp white shirts handed them drinks named ridiculous things like White Blossom, or Mint Twilights. Essek confirmed with the staff that everything was going smoothly, and spoke to a few guests to assure their time was going well before he went to mind other equally important business.

Essek moved into the reception area, and that was when he saw the cake in full glory. It was of course different then Essek had seen since it before. It was six hexagonal tiers tall, with each tier having a separate intricate design. Flowers fell in cascading tiers of frothy, silk organza ruffled and powdery with delicate blooms. Smattering of embellishments and the catching of edible crystal shards in hidden spots, delicate marzipan birds, and other gems that left something for the eye to catch at every sweep of it’s magnificent form. This all followed the brush of silver that perfectly drew the gaze to each new pleasure accordingly. At the top was the sculpture of both Leylas and Quana looking much and love and very weirdly adorable in their tiny form courtesy of Jester Lavorre.

“Essek,” Caleb called with a small wave, and Essek tore his eyes away to see him. They were all dressed in tan slacks and white chef’s shirts with the Xhorhaus emblem on the side. It was a good choice for the formal affair, and the light colors really brought out the color of Caleb’s blue eyes.

“Oh Caleb, it’s beautiful,” Essek told him somewhat breathlessly as Caleb crossed the room.

“Just wait until they dim the lights for the first dance,” Caleb said proudly. “That’s when the really fun bits start.”

“Are you talking about funny bits with Essek,” Jester asked as she settled down a tray of desserts for the dessert spread. There were slices of pies with jewel-colored fruit fillings, cookies and macarons in pastels, jellies and puddings and parfaits in glasses, their famous cupcakes with their swirls and sprinkles and glammed up with shimmer-dust. Yasha was placing decorative flowers and vases that had been handed off to her artfully between the display of treats in the most delicate and thoughtful fashion. By each dessert platter there was a little holder of cards, embellished with Xhorhaus Bakery very professionally upon the laminate that Veth was triple checking and double checking before seeming satisfied.

Essek picked up one of the cards, and smiled.

“We got those done last week,” Beauregard said as she wheeled out another tray with more desserts.

“Good for you all,” Essek told them, very pleased as he slid one of the cards into his wallet. Who knew when he was going to need to give it out. “I am so very happy for you, truly.”

“Do you think the boss will like it?” Fjord asked nervously as Caduceus placed a hand on his shoulder. Essek could understand the nerves, after all the camera crews and the guests would be coming in soon enough. If Essek had learned anything about life from working where he did, it was that any event with Leylas Kryn was bound to be overwhelming in more ways than one.

“I can say from knowing Leylas Kryn as well as I do, that she’ll be extremely pleased,” Essek promised them all. “This is exactly what she asked for and far more, you have all completely outdone yourselves.”

“Thank you so much, for the opportunity,” Caleb said, reaching to clasp Essek’s hand.

“No thanks required, you have already done more than enough,” Essek promised them all. Essek was about to say more when Nedna came over, holding her tome-pad.

“The guests are set to arrive in ten minutes, after which there will be the dinner. At the end of the dinner you will be signalled to begin serving the desserts,” Nedna said without lifting her gaze to even look at them. Essek couldn’t help but bristle. He really couldn’t believe her rudeness...but at the same time he also couldn’t blame her. He would like to think he would always look into the eyes of those who were working with him, that was part of the reason he was successful. Essek did wonder if there had ever been a moment where he had been so nonchalant and found himself glad to be changed even in such a small insignificant way. “As requested the lights will be dimmed as you do so to help emphasize the enchantments on the cake and-oh! Here’s the photographer.”

Nedna motioned over the photographer who had an expensive looking camera hanging by his neck.

“I’d like to get a few shots of the cake as well as all of you before everyone comes in,” the photographer said, holding up his camera.

“Of course,” Caleb said. “Would you like us to be out of the picture at first?”

The photographer took a few shots of the cake from different angles. Jester did her best to both art direct and distract to Essek’s enjoyment and Nedna’s chagrin. After that, the photographer showed Nedna the photos as well as the Mighty Nein and Essek. Though Essek was sure that a photo couldn’t really capture the beauty of the cake, it was a well composed shot. With Essek’s final nod, the photographer gave a sigh of relief. They all knew this all would, of course, be shown to Leylas before it made it anywhere near the press release. But Essek had always had a good eye for what his employer would like.

“It looks good,” the photographer said before looking back at the Mighty Nein. “If you guys would like, you should get into the next picture. We can figure out a caption and include it in the media press release as well.”

“You have to make sure to get my good side,” Veth said, striking a pose, causing Beauregard to give her a playful push.

“I’m fairly certain that’s his job,” Fjord pointed out with a fond exasperated shake of his head. “Where would you like us?”

The photographer arranged them so that Yasha, Beauregard, Jester, and Caleb were on one side while Nott, Fjord, and Caduceus were on the other. They were about to take the picture when Jester began waving at Essek. As he was in the midst of this, Essek could see a few of the early arrivals filtering into the room.

“Come on, Essek! Join us!” Jester said, moving over to the other side and wildly gesticulating at the place where she had been next to Caleb.

“I’m not sure that’s appropriate,” Essek began to say as Jester placed her hands on her hips and gave him a chiding look.

“Oh come on, Essek! You helped us so much with the cake!” Jester said.

“You are one of the team,” Beauregard said with a smile and a shrug.

“You are basically part of the Mighty Nein just through association,” Veth said.

“You helped them with the cake?” Nedna asked with a scoff and with a smirk. “You? What? Was it running late?”

“Yes, I helped my boyfriend with the cake his business made,” Essek snapped at Nedna as he marched himself over to where the Mighty Nein was standing in front of the cake and took his place besides Caleb. “Bite me, Nedna.”

Nedna couldn’t have looked more shocked then if Essek had slapped her right in her face. Essek took serious enjoyment from watching her gap like a fish as he stood proudly next to Caleb, who placed his arm around his shoulders and smiled brilliantly at him. The photographer took a few pictures, before calling Essek forward. Essek looked at the picture appraisingly. Everyone in the Mighty Nein was looking proud, though, they would have to pick a picture where Caleb wasn’t looking at him. Though it was sweet, he didn’t think that Leylas would particularly want that picture in her press release.

“Very good,” Essek said. “You’ll want to send either the fourth or the fifth picture to Leylas. Could I give you my details to send the first picture to me? I would love to have it. I’ll be happy to pay for the picture as well.”

“Of course, I would be happy-”

“Essek.”

Essek took a deep breath, channeling the void and smiling his greatest work-mode-activated smile as he turned to face his mother and his very apologetic looking brother who looked like this train wreck was the absolute last thing that he wanted to be dealing with at this exact moment. His mother, dressed in a chic black dress with stilettos that probably could kill a man, tapped out an impatient rhythm as Essek stood before her...as if he were wasting her time merely by existing. Nedna was looking excited to witness the epic scolding that Essek was probably in store for.

“Hello, Mother,” Essek said with his sweetest and most obliging smile. “How are you enjoying the Vow Renewal so far?”

“I see there is someone you haven’t introduced me to yet? Hm?” Deirta said, her voice eerily calm...the way stepping on a lake two degrees from splintering and sending you down to the depths where you would probably become an Essek-popsicle.

“Ah! Deirta, there you are!” A voice suddenly cut the tension like a knife. It was Quana, dressed in her gorgeous white suit that had both Beauregard and Yasha choking at the sight. Even as someone who didn’t find women attractive beyond just aesthetics, Quana really packed a punch that had even Essek momentarily questioning himself (though the desire to actually see Quana naked was nonexistent). Deirta, unable to refuse the hug from Quana was helpless but to accept it and the friendly joyful kiss on the cheek. “I haven’t seen you yet all day, how did you like the Vow Renewal Ceremony?”

“Of course it was beautiful, just to be expected but-”

“And Essek, absolutely wonderful job with everything. Really Deirta, you ought to be so proud of your son. He is just a shining example of what the Xhorhassian Institute is capable of,” Quana said with a knowing glint to her eyes. “And Caleb, it's so wonderful to see you again. The cake looks absolutely stunning, I know I speak for both me and my wife when I say I can’t wait for the grand finale. Really Essek, your boyfriend is so talented! You’ll absolutely be the talk of Rosohna with this. In fact, I’ve already heard the ambassador to Marquet’s wife asking about a cake!”

“Ah, ja, thank you so much Mrs. Kryn. I can’t explain how much that means to us,” Caleb said, putting an arm around Essek’s waist. Essek tried to act natural and not like he was two breaths away from passing out from the prolonged exposure to Caleb’s body. “And yes, I did speak to the ambassador’s wife. I am glad she has expressed such interest, and I would be happy to speak to her.”

“You know, Deirta, she’s the one planning on helping out with the trade deal. She’ll be beyond herself with joy to know that he’s Essek’s boyfriend, especially if that means she gets ahead in the lines of people already lined up.”

“Oh, really?” Deirta asked, sounding absolutely tickled pink by this new and very profitable connection that she had suddenly made. “Do you think you would be able to introduce me?”

“Oh it would be my pleasure,” Quana said, holding out her arm to Deirta who took it. “Just don’t tell my wife, she may get jealous.”

“Oh you two never change,” Deirta said with a joking swat before looking over at Essek and Caleb. “It was lovely to meet you Caleb. We’ll have to do family brunch some time, when things settle down a bit.”

“Of course,” Caleb said with a very understanding nod, and like that Deirta flounced off to terrorize someone else, Nedna skulked off having not been given the show she clearly had scripted in her own head. This left Verin behind with them. He had watched all of this unfold before him quietly, but just as Essek began to worry about his reaction he gave Essek a weak smile as he approached them.

“Sorry,” Verin said, sounding like he was apologizing for more than just this interaction. “Though...it will be nice for mother to worry herself about another relationship...besides mine of course.”

“Oh please she won’t be worried about my relationship, we both know which one of us has the better judgement,” Essek said, smiling up at Caleb and meeting his loving gaze. “Don’t be jealous.”

“You are a brave man, Mr. Widogast,” Verin said with a roll of his side. “If I had to take Essek’s shit on a regular basis, I would have flung myself out of the nearest window years ago.”

“I am a very lucky man,” Caleb said, pressing a kiss to Essek’s temple that had Essek smiling like a dopey love sick fool. Essek shook out of it and gave his chest an appreciative pat. “It is nice to meet you though.”

“Likewise. We’ll have to talk some other time, when things aren’t so busy.”

“Thank you, Verin,” Essek told him honestly, reaching and grabbing his arm and looking him in the eye. Verin was momentarily startled, clearly, since Essek couldn’t recall a moment when he had initiated contact like this with his brother. “Really.”

“Hey now, don’t get sappy on me,” Verin told him, reaching out, giving Essek a short but heartfelt hug, before pulling away and smiling at him. “We’re Theylss kids, it’s what we do. Besides, we still need to survive the evening.”

With a final parting wave, he made his way to the table where he was assigned and joined his girlfriend. Essek watched him go, and made sure to make a mental note to buy him something nice for his birthday for a change. He didn’t think that a card and a check was going to cut it this year, all things considered.

“You guys are official!” Veth screeched, rushing them and sounding breathless. “When? How? What?”

“Congratulations,” Caduceus said, smiling a wide and warm smile.

“Oh it was super obvious that they were,” Jester said waving at Veth. “It’s not like we didn’t see them smooching the other day.”

“Smooching is one thing, being together is another!” Veth argued. Essek attempted to grapple with that new information. It had to have been when Essek had dropped Caleb off after that stressful night of desperation baking. Essek felt his ears warm through with the realization that they had had an audience.

“Well congrats on finally seeing what’s been written all over your faces for like months now,” Beauregard said, giving Caleb an appreciative slap on the back. Caleb gave her a smile that they shared as he reached out and gave her hair a teasing ruffle.

“It is a wonderful thing,” Yasha said, quietly...softly, and with a sweet small personal smile.

“I’m happy for you two,” Fjord promised. “It is a wonderful thing, Yasha is right.”

“Thank you all,” Caleb said, with a glisten to his eyes which couldn’t have just been the light. “But before we really celebrate, we’ve got to make sure this goes off without a hitch.”

“Caleb is right in that respect,” Fjord said. “Everyone, man your battle stations. We’ve got work to do.”

“Aye, aye captain!” The rest of the Mighty Nein said with a mock salute.

“I wish you all the best of luck,” Essek said before pressing up on his toes and giving Caleb the shortest and softest kiss he had ever given in his whole life. “You’ll be brilliant.”

“I wish I had your confidence,” Caleb said, eyes butter-soft blue.

“I don’t have to be confident. I just know,” Essek said. “I’ll see you all after the fact.”

With that and a parting wave, Essek made it over to his assigned seat. It was off to the side of the Kryn’s, just in case they were going to need anything. Photographers and videographers were stationed then, and Quana had disappeared to the back. It was then when the guests had finally filtered into their seats when the announcer announced Leylas and Quana, who appeared to a raucous applause from everyone. Leylas had changed her dress to something more form fitting, but made almost completely out of shimmering jewels that fractured light as she moved with Quana to the head of the table.

Dinner itself was of a bespoke design, small little dishes of designer appeal that were meant to be consumed in a bite or two before the next round appeared. Essek tasted no flavor, but ate only to bide his time and to look busy. Essek tried not to keep catching Caleb’s gaze from across the room, but it seemed like Caleb himself was an opposite charge pulling Essek’s eyes forward. Eventually though, glasses were refilled with an expensive wine and the lights were dimmed.

“We hope that our next dish surprises and delights from the Xhorhaus Bakery in Rosohna,” the announcer said.

Caleb moved his hand in a somatic gesture with the cake knife. With a final flick of his fingers, it was almost like sparks caught dry brush. A glimmer filled the air, like the soft light of dappled trees in autumn, or the filling pool of a hearth, or a cascade of light coming in from a cave mouth. Sugar flowers opened up like they were craning for the sun, light caught in the crystals and scattered them out, marzipan birds nestled between roots flew before settling on other lays, and most impressively those same firefly sparks that moved about the room settled on the candles at every table and lit them with a warm glow.

When the glow settled into a pleasant mirage, heat casting illusions from a dancing candle flame, there was a mighty clap of applause. Essek could help his smile as all of the Mighty Nein took a short bow before the lights were turned up just a smidge and they began to hand out slices of cakes and other desserts along with the other servers.

“I hope you enjoy,” Caleb said, settling down a slice for both Quana and Leylas. Leylas said something to Caleb that made him smile, but it was soft enough that Essek couldn’t parse it out. Then he came over to Essek’s table with the rest of the planning team, settling down a piece for every and then pausing in front of Essek. “Let me know how you like it.”

Essek didn’t wait before taking a bite.

The cake itself was tender and its crumbs disappeared in the mouth with the heady taste of brown sugar and almond and vanilla, then cut through with a deep tart black currant syrup that was soaked into the bottom cake while immediately lightened by layer of soft plum jam that fluttered against the mouth like moth wings. And then of course there was the vanilla frosting that was so light and smooth and heavenly that Essek wondered if that was what eating a cloud would be like. As he ate, he was warmed through, bundled up by a fire and held against arms that carried with them the scent of clean wood fires and summer days. And there was the hint of lemon, the hint of sunlight, a hint of Caleb, a hint of the love that gave to Essek until he was bursting at the seams.

“I love it,” Essek told him, with a smile.

________________________

Later, when the entire room was dancing and laughing, Essek found himself sitting beside Caleb. His hand was in Caleb’s, while Caleb ran his fingers along the divots of Essek’s knuckles like he was attempting to memorize him by touch alone. Essek did nothing to discourage him, and simply leaned just a bit closer.

“I like my job,” Essek said as he watched Quana dip Leylas and plant a kiss to her. Leylas squawked indignantly, but based the pleased purple flush to her skin, she didn’t seem to mind. “But I’m beginning to think, perhaps, my days off are a little too idle. I always need to be busy.”

“Really?” Caleb asked curiously, as Veth and Beauregard were flipping a coin. When it landed Beauregard swore as Veth swiped her drink and took it herself. Yasha and Jester watched this and laughed. Fjord clapped Caduceus on the back and both of them laughed at a joke that had obviously been told at someone’s expense.

“Is there still an opening available for a barista or has the position been filled?” Essek asked Caleb curiously.

“I may have to move a few interviews around, but as long as your recommendations are good I don’t see why we can’t make it work,” Caleb chuckled, slinging his arm around Essek, and Essek pulled in close against him. “I may take up your offer, Mr. Theylss, if you are so inclined.”

“You better be careful,” Essek joked. “Remember what I said, you give me an in and you’ll be only a partner soon.”

“Only a partner?” Caleb asked in return. “I don’t think there’s anything I would like more. A baking’s a labor of love, and I can hardly only imagine what will happen when we stuff more love in that place.”

“We might take over the world,” Essek pointed out with a laugh.

“With our friends? Absolutely. Let’s! But you will have to tell me what flavors you think everything should be.”

“Lemon,” Essek laughed as Caleb grinned at him in return. And so the dancing went on and the evening turned to night, but Essek was held safely in the arms of a man that he loved. Essek couldn’t believe that there would ever be anything sweeter than that.

#critical role #critical role fanfiction #shadowgast #essek theylss #caleb widogast

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neonlights92 · 6 years ago

Text

CHARRED: CHAPTER VI

Jung Hoseok never thought he would find love. So when his wife - the woman he has somehow fallen madly in love with - leaves him for somebody else he is heartbroken. Of course, Bangtan waits for no-one. Soon Hoseok is roped into yet another marriage, and this time he’s determined to keep himself safe.

When the man you thought you would spend the rest of your life with runs away with Jung Hoseok’s wife, you find yourself suddenly tied to a man you think is a monster. But beneath the darkness in Hoseok’s eyes is a warmth you can’t help but yearn for. Perhaps love truly does work in mysterious ways.

WARNINGS: Language and mentions of violence. Some light smut

A/N: Well my friends... this is it for Hoseok’s story. We’ve got an epilogue to go and then it’s on to the next one. It’s going to be Jungkook’s story next (then Namjoon and finally Jimin!) so keep your eyes peeled for that!!! Please enjoy and let me know what y’all think.

(Also I know the mafia masterlist doesn’t work on the tumblr app - i’ve tried so many times to fix it but it just doesn’t work... does anyone have any advice for this???)

You stared at your husband, uncomprehending.

“She killed them all? What does that mean?” Hoseok was sat on the edge of the bed, his back ramrod straight, “I don’t know.” You felt your heart constrict itself in your throat.

What was going on? Why had Irene taken you all the way to GOT7, if only to kill them all less than a day later? “It has to be a trap, right?” You cleared your throat, “She probably still thinks I’m planning on murdering you. Maybe she was worried I’d chicken out-” “I don’t know Y/N.” His eyes were suddenly on you, and they were obsidian black; like two pools of swirling coal.

You couldn’t see a shade of warmth in them.

“I have to go.” He stood up abruptly, and you bit your tongue. You didn’t know what to say.

Didn’t know where his heart was.

What if Irene really had killed GOT7? What if this had all been some elaborate plan to annihilate a threat to Bangtan? What if the only reason she’d ever run away was to get rid of JB and his cronies? Your heart thudded angrily against your chest.

You’d just told Hoseok you loved him. You’d spilled out everything you’d been trying so hard to keep a secret.

And now what?

He was leaving to meet with his ex-wife.

“Hoseok.” You spoke his name softly, watching as he strapped on his gun belt, and pulled a white shirt across his broad shoulders. He paused, his head turned away from you.

“Yes?” “Can you look at me?”

There was a long moment of silence. Finally, he flicked his eyes over to you, and still they were jet black.

“Be careful,” You whispered, eyes welling up with tears, “Please.”

And then you saw it.

A flicker of warmth passed across his face. It was gone before you could even properly register it, but you were sure you’d seen it.

“I’ve got men outside the hotel door, okay? Chul and Jihoo. Don’t open the door to anyone unless it’s me. And keep this armed, just in case you need it.” He placed a gun on the bedside table, and you nodded, feeling hopeless.

Your husband was slipping away from you, right in front of your eyes, and you felt like you could do nothing to stop it.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

And then he was gone. Whisked away before you could say another word. You watched his back as he stepped towards the door, and opened it, passing orders to the two burly men stood outside, before the portal clicked shut behind him.

And then, you started to cry.

Hours passed and still you heard nothing from Hoseok.

You had drifted in and out of sleep, drinking stupid amounts of whiskey to try and calm your rampant nerves.

You wanted to call him, but you knew he’d told you never to do that when he was with Bangtan, unless it was absolutely necessary.

You felt like you couldn’t breath. Like everything around you had blurred into one, and you weren’t even sure if you were alive anymore.

Eventually, you fell asleep.

You dreamt of Hoseok’s eyes.

You woke when a hand roughly landed on your mouth.

Your eyes shot open, looking up into the face of your assailant, and feeling like you were going to faint.

Park Jinyoung was staring down at you.

“Don’t make a sound, Y/N.” He whispered, and that was then you felt the cold blade pressed tightly against your throat, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Your eyes blinked; once, twice, and you felt like every single one of your nerves was on fire.

“Come with me, and nobody gets hurt.”

His eyes were dark and swirling, and you felt like you were going to pass out.

Hadn’t Irene said she’d killed them all? Did that not include your ex-husband, somehow? Jinyoung’s face was so familiar, and yet you felt like you were staring into the eyes of a stranger.

He pulled you up off the bed, and kept his hand wrapped tightly around your mouth, the other pressing the blade of the knife against your skin.

You could feel him breathing against the shell of your ear, and you shivered; both in disgust and also from the cold. He didn’t seem to care that you were only in a silky night dress, and instead he pulled you towards the window.

“Sorry to do this.”

And then without another word, he jabbed a needle into your arm. You tried to scream in pain, but he only held you tighter, until eventually you felt your body turning limp.

And then you were asleep.

When you woke up, you weren’t sure where you were.

You were once more strapped to a chair, but the room around you was dark, with nothing but a single lightbulb above your head to help you see anything.

Jinyoung was sitting across from you.

“Where am I?” The question flew out of your mouth before you had the chance to even think it through.

Jinyoung sighed heavily, “I need to speak to you.” You quirked an angry brow, scoffing at your ex-husband’s words.

“Isn’t that funny? Six months to talk to me and you choose now? You’re a piece of work Park Jinyoung.” You felt something in your chest tighten, “Are you going to kill me, then?”

He rolled his eyes, “If I wanted to kill you, I would have done that already.” “Then what are you doing?”

“Y/N…. I didn’t leave Bangtan because I wanted to. I didn’t even leave because I fell in love with Irene,” He sighed heavily, and you felt something patter angrily across your stomach. He looked vulnerable; scared, “I left because of an obligation I had. To GOT7.” When you didn’t say anything, he continued.

“Y/N…. JB is my biological brother.”

It felt like everything inside of you had dropped straight out of your stomach. Like the floor had disappeared from underneath you. The world was at a strange angle.

“What?” The word came out strangled, broken.

“He is the son of my mother, from an affair she had before she married my father.” He tugged a hand through his hair; the same hair you had played with on so many occasions, “He contacted me a year ago, explaining everything. I didn’t believe him at first…. But eventually he was able to prove it all to me with his birth certificate, and a photo he’d been given as a child of our mother. It was her.”

You blinked, your mind racing.

What did this all mean? “I didn’t want to betray Bangtan, or Hoseok. But I’ve never had a family. It’s only ever been me and my father, after my mother passed away. And he was angry and abusive. I wanted something from JB; I’m still not sure what. So I ran away. And then everything span out of control when he started talking about taking down Bangtan and I - I didn’t know what to do.”

He was crying. You knew without a shadow of a doubt that the story he was telling you was the truth. Jinyoung was a lot of things, but in all your years of knowing him, you’d never once seen him shed a tear.

Not even at his father’s funeral.

Something in your heart clicked.

“And Irene?” You asked, “Where does she come into all this?”

He took a deep breath and shook his head, seemingly wrestling with himself. Eventually, he steadied himself.

“Irene has been working as a spy for GOT7 for years. It was how they found out about me.”

The words knocked the breath right out of you.

“What do you mean?” “She grew up with JB and BamBam. They taught her how to fight, and how to use a gun. It’s why she’s as skilled as she is,” He shook his head, “They were all foster kids, Y/N. Every single one of them. They trained her…. They moulded her into what she is. And then they released her on Bangtan.”

Your mind span back to the very first day you’d heard of Irene.

It had been about ten years ago now. You’d been little over eighteen years old, and your mother had told you about a new addition to the Bangtan family. Taehyung’s father had scouted her out of the underground fighting circle, and he’d been assured that she was a fierce and loyal fighter.

And then eventually, she’d seemingly fallen in love with Hoseok and married him. And Bangtan had rejoiced because no two people had ever seemed more perfect for one another.

She had been spying on Bangtan - on all of them - for ten fucking years.

You could hardly believe it.

And then suddenly, the air was sucked out of your lungs. Your eyes widened.

“Jinyoung - Irene… She told Taehyung that she’d killed them,” You felt your voice wobbling, “That she’d gotten rid of GOT7. Tonight. Hoseok went to meet her.”

His expression mirrored your own.

“What? It’s a trap, I was with the boys just before I escaped to come and pick you up. They were planning a raid.”

Your heart fell out of your chest and the world blurred into one.

“Let me go, Please,” You were crying, and you weren’t even sure when that had started, “I need to help Hoseok.”

Jinyoung looked panicked, but he nodded, standing quickly and helping you undo your restraints.

“C’mon let’s go. Do you have a number you could call Hoseok on?”

You nodded, hands trembling, your entire body stiff with fear. What if Irene hurt your husband? What if GOT7 got to Hoseok before you could help him? What if you never got to see him again?

You were unravelling quickly, feeling your hope sliding out of your fingertips.

Taking the cell phone out that Hoseok had made you promise to only use in case of emergencies, you dialled your husband’s number, biting your lip raw as you waited.

One ring.

Two.

Three.

Four.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe. What if Irene had finished them all off? Your husband was skilled, that much you knew, but could he survive a surprise like that? And then he picked up the phone.

Thank God.

“Y/N? Is that you?”

“Yes, yes it’s me. Oh my God Hoseok is everything okay, are you okay?”

You felt your fingers tremble as you held the phone tightly to your ear.

“I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Are you okay? Why are you ringing me on this number?” You could hear the urgency in his voice.

“I’m with Jinyoung… He told me some things about Irene and I was worried-” “Jinyoung, as in your ex-husband Jinyoung?” “He’s not going to hurt me,” You assured Hoseok, your eyes moving to meet with Jinyoung’s. He smiled at you, despite everything that had happened, and suddenly it felt as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, “He wanted to help. To help you and me -”

“Y/N. Get out of there.”

You felt something in your stomach drop at the texture of Hoseok’s voice.

No. He just didn’t trust Jinyoung. But you could prove it to him - you could help him understand that things were just complicated. You didn’t love Jinyoung, not anymore. But you cared about him.

You probably always would.

“No it’s not-”

“Yoongi! The tracker in the phone I gave Y/N. Activate it.”

“Hoseok-” “Y/N. Don’t stop talking to me baby girl, okay? Pretend this conversation isn’t serious. ”

You felt your heart squeeze tightly in your chest. Everything felt like it had flipped upside down.

Was Jinyoung really dangerous?

“Yeah. I’ll just ask him,” You pulled the phone away from your ear, “Where are you going to drop me off, Jinyoung?” There was a long pause. Jinyoung’s face became an impassive mask, as he snatched the phone away from your hands. He put it to his own ear.

“I’m going to kill her, if you don’t meet the demands Irene gave you.” Your body went cold.

This was a set up. This whole fucking thing was a set up.

You watched, as Jinyoung listened to your husband, trying to figure out what was being said. But his eyes were blank, his face emotionless.

After a moment, he grunted.

“You have an hour.” He replied, slamming the phone down.

He turned to you, and smiled sadly, “I’m sorry I have to do this Y/N.”

And then he jammed yet another needle into your arm, and the world faded to black.

The last thought you had as you slipped away, was whether or not you would ever see Hoseok’s face again.

There were loud, crashing noises going on somewhere to your left.

You could hear them, but you couldn’t move. Your body was like a brick, stubbornly refusing to move. You tried to blink your eyes open, but it was impossible.

“Y/N? Fuck, Y/N where are you?” It sounded like Hoseok. You wanted to open your eyes, to tell him you were okay, but you couldn’t fucking move.

“Shit. Oh fuck, is she breathing? Namjoon please, check if she’s alive.” You felt a hand on your wrist, turning your palm over and pressing a thumb against your skin.

“She’s alive, but her heartbeat is slow. We need to get her to a hospital.”

“Fuck. Shit.” Hoseok again. You felt someone lift you up, and immediately you knew it was your husband.

It was going to be okay.

You were with him.

The world faded away.

When your eyes finally blinked open, you were greeted by blinding light.

You turned your head, face sore from God knows what, and were greeted with the sleeping face of your husband.

He was lying down beside you, an arm wrapped protectively around your waist.

You felt butterflies chewing away at the inside of your stomach as your eyes traced the linings of his face.

He was here. With you.

For how long?

You groaned when your arm tinged in pain, and immediately Hoseok’s eyes popped open.

“Y/N.” He croaked, and it sounded like he’d been crying, “Fuck. You’re okay.” He pressed himself against you, nose digging into your hairline. He was peppering kisses across your skin, like you were the sole reason for his existence.

“Hoseok,” You grunted, “What happened?” “You were out cold the whole night baby,” He whispered against your skin, refusing to move away from you, and only pulling you towards him tighter, “The doctor said there were a lot of drugs in your system - Jinyoung had administered through a needle-” Jinyoung.

“Where is he?” You felt something fiery hot boiling in your stomach, “Where is that good for nothing-” “He’s gone.” You knew what the words meant.

They’d killed him.

“Jinyoung and Irene had always been working for their own benefit. Irene was supposedly a spy for GOT7, and Jinyoung had discovered he had links to JB, but the two of them had always planned on taking over their own crime syndicate. Irene killed GOT7 as a means to gain our trust, and then Jinyoung used our moment of weakness to try and use you as a way to manipulate us.”

“So… it was true? She killed them?” You felt something ugly lodge itself in your throat.

This had been the worst few days of your life.

“As far as we can tell. She brought JB’s head with her, to prove a point. Claimed she poisoned them all whilst they were sleeping. Coward’s method, in my opinion.” Hoseok’s eyes were dark and angry, “For a moment, I almost believed she wanted to help us. And then she told us what Jinyoung was doing - and how she wanted enough money for the two of them to start their own mob. It was a ridiculous plan - a last ditch attempt at a power play, but they didn’t count on the tracker in your phone.” He breathed out heavily, cupping your cheeks and pressing a warm kiss against your mouth. You felt all the stress melt away, and all you could focus on was Hoseok.

He really was the love of your life.

“If I’d lost you… Jesus. I don’t know what I would have done.”

You kissed him, “It’s okay, Hoseok, I’m here.” He used the pads of his thumbs to trace the features on your face so gently, you wondered if this was the same Jung Hoseok who killed without mercy. With him here, like this, in your bed, holding you so affectionately, pressing his fingers against your skin so softly, you felt like everything else in the world had slipped away and it was just the two of you.

“I love you,” He whispered, his breath fanning against your face, “So fucking much, Y/N. I love you. Please don’t ever leave me.”

Your heart felt like it had caught fire at his words.

Everything finally made sense. You pressed your lips against his, and felt the tears rushing to escape your eyelashes. They dropped onto Hoseok’s skin, and when he pulled back his own eyes were glassy.

“You know how much I love you, Hoseok. I can’t breathe when you’re not around,” You cupped his face, running your fingers across his lips, “God that feels so good to say, doesn’t it?” He smiled, and the sides of his eyes crinkled the way they always did. Your heart skipped a beat.

He was finally yours.

“C’mere,” He whispered, and this time, when he pulled your mouth towards his own, something in you softened.

He kissed along the column of your neck, nudging his nose into the dip of your shoulder blades, and murmuring over and over again how absolutely beautiful you were. You felt like you were going to faint, but everything felt so good, and suddenly life just made sense to you.

Jung Hoseok was everything you’d ever needed.

He took your clothes off slowly, and he kissed you like a vow, never failing to make you feel like you were the most important person in the world to him. Never had someone treated you so reverently, like you were made of glass or porcelain, or the finest of diamonds.

It set your skin on fire, and thrummed your body to life.

Hoseok wasn’t always good with words, this much you knew.

But his kisses were all the confirmation you needed that everything had changed.

“I love you, baby girl,” He whispered, taking of his slacks, and pressing his naked chest against yours, “Fuck. When I thought I’d lost you back there - Jesus I was ready to fucking kill someone. I almost lost my mind. You’re the only thing that’s ever made sense to me. You’re so kind and beautiful. I don’t deserve you.” He kissed you again, and finally slid inside of you.

As Hoseok made love to you, you counted every single freckle covering his beautiful, beautiful face. His eyes shone like moonlight, and your blood felt like it was fizzing.

This was what it meant to feel whole.

“I love you,” You cried as you came, arching your back and pulling him towards you, tangling your legs with his and promising to never ever spend another night away from him.

When he came down from his own high, Hoseok snuggled into bed net to you, and wrapped an arm around your waist. He pressed a kiss against your temple, and nudged his nose against your skin softly.

“I’m all yours, baby girl. Always remember that.” You smiled because you were finally home.

“And I’m all yours, Jung Hoseok.”

Your heart had been charred beyond repair - burnt from the anger Jinyoung had left inside of you. But somehow, the man beside you had nursed you back to health, and poured his love all over your broken, bleeding body.

Jung Hoseok had brought you back to life.

And you could never thank him enough for it.

FIN

#bangtan #mafia au #bts #arranged marriage #hoseok #love #mob #romance #fanfiction

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tessatechaitea · 4 years ago

Text

Justice League Annual #1 (1987)

Martian Manhunter has five thousand different super powers compared with the one super power of the rest of the team (Black Canary's sonic scream. The other "super powers" are just technological accessory based).

If this comic book isn't about Martian Manhunter's addiction to Oreo cookies then what am I even doing with my life? The only reason I love Martian Manhunter is that he loves Oreo cookies and I view him as the father I never had. Whenever I had a problem growing up, I would think, "What advice would Martian Manhunter give me?" And that's why I was so fat in Junior High School because the answer was always "Eat more Oreos." I know Martian Manhunter's eventual addiction is to "Choco's" but fuck Choco's. Fuck them like every other off-brand Oreo cookie. They fucking suck. Speaking of things that suck, this dick isn't going to suck itself. Now picture me pointing at the comic book because I need to read it. That's how I begin reading all of my comic books. And I say it loudly so the neighbors will think, "Oh boy! That guy next door isn't a nerd at all! Total sex maniac!" The "Hunting the Manhunter" blurb on this cover reminds me that Millennium is coming up and I think I hated that? No, no. I'm sure I loved it! There are two things I couldn't get enough of in my teen years and comic books was the second one of them. Kord Industries has bought some property in the middle of Ultra-Nowhere, South America, and some of its employees have gone off to scout the location.

Wasn't that the episode with the shape-changing hottie who loves sucking the salt out of men? You know what I'm talking about. Also she was probably a male monster posing as a female monster. Proof of that theory is that every single episode of the first season of the original Star Trek could also have been the name of a gay bar.

Inside the abandoned research facility, the Kord employees encounter pretty much the same thing Kirk, Spock, and the other one encountered:

Vampire John Travolta! It's possible I'm misremembering the Star Trek episode.

While on monitor duty, Guy Gardner discovers that large groups of people on four different continents seem to be under the control of a single will and Batman asks Martian Manhunter, "Do you think this is League business?" What the fuck else would be, Bat-Turd?! A new Internet fad like planking or the Harlem Shuffle? I mean, it totally could be that except that the Internet doesn't really exist during this story. I mean if you want to be a pedant about it, I suppose the teenage Internet across college campuses. But nobody likes a pedant so just shut the fuck up and live in my reality while you're reading my stupid comic book review. Just take the fucking Red Pill and relax! Except don't do that because the idea of The Matrix Red Pill has been co-opted by the worst of humanity who think they're somehow the most logical and philosophical people on the planet when they're really just awful monsters rationalizing all of their mean desires.

How did people come away from reading this comic book hating Guy Gardner and not also despising Batman?

The Justice League splits up into teams of two to cover the mass hypnosis issues in Paris, Tokyo, Sydney, and Los Angeles. I'm not sure Batman knows how to balance teams because he sends Doctor Fate and Martian Manhunter together while leaving Mister Miracle with Blue Beetle. Here are my teams: Guy Gardner with Blue Beetle because Blue Beetle is effectively worthless and Guy Gardner has the most powerful weapon in the universe. Batman would go with Black Canary because her sonic scream is sort of like a bat's echo location. Martian Manhunter would go with Scott Free because they're both aliens. And Booster Gold would team up with Doctor Fate because their outfits match. Blue Beetle and Mister Miracle head to L.A. with some, um, problematic dialogue? I think?

This is an "anal sex/everybody in Hollywood is gay" joke, right?

With newer comic books, a scan of 620 pixels (basically the width of the main column of the blog (although I think the width changed when I added the Goodreads app. I should probably fix it so the 620 pixel pictures stop bleeding off into the right-hand frame (if you're reading this on Tumblr, just ignore it. Just ignore everything since Tumblr fucked up their code and now I can't even center pictures or get the captions to sit snugly right up underneath the scans))) was usually enough to read the dialogue clearly. But with these old comics on newsprint, they're fuzzier and the font seems much smaller. Sorry about that but I won't betray my artistic integrity by scanning less than the full panel! At least not in this case is my defense against the pedants who can easily find many examples of me doing exactly that. First Black Canary is treated like shit by Batman and now she teams up with Booster Gold who can't stop hitting on her until she reminds him she's a competent limb-breaker. This must be the kind of comics Comicsgaters wish we could return to! "Remember when women were treated as sexual objects and not one member of the Justice League was Black and constantly said, 'Booyah!'? What great times!" Black Canary and Booster Gold become John Travolta Vampire slaves almost immediately because Batman chose the improper team pairings. It's bad enough that Batman would fail at making proper pairings but it's extra bad when Batman is being written by a writer and the writer made that choice. I mean, how do you pass up the opportunity to team Booster Gold with Doctor Fate?! They would look so fucking good together! Batman and Guy Gardner (you know how you can tell Hal Jordan is the real Green Lantern? Because people will say "Green Lantern" when discussing him instead of "Hal Jordan") wind up in Tokyo where Doctor Light is all, "Hello, boys! I'm a vampire now!" Then she blinds the fuck out of them because Batman forgot to put on his Bat-sunglasses.

Batman steals this move from Doctor Light in the next regular issue.

Doctor Light kisses Batman and he's all, "Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. I get it. Being a vampire is pretty awesome. No wonder writers write vampire versions of me every other year or so."

I don't think the editors briefed Willingham on what Beetle's Bug can and can't do.

Beetle lands at Kord West and is immediately swamped by John Travolta Vampire's thralls. So he does the thing he does in nearly every comic book except the one where Maxwell Lord shoots him in the head: he runs away. But he doesn't run fast enough and winds up possessed aboard the Bug with Mister Miracle. The story hints that Miracle gets possessed just after the scene changes but he's Scott Free, the world's greatest escape artist! I would guess he'd be the one to save everybody else but judging from the cover, it's Martian Manhunter who keeps from getting possessed. In Australia, Doctor Fate wades into a group of infected people because he's a gigantic arrogant prick. He's all, "I'm a frickin' Lord of Order, assholes! I know a spell that can get to the root of this problem!" And then the Vampire John Travolta is all, "I'll kill Kent Nelson if you don't leave his body." And Doctor Fate is all, "Well, J'onn, I've gotta go! Nice hanging out with you! Ta ta!" Which leaves Martian Manhunter as the only person left on Earth who isn't infected (or at least the only person left who is in this story). I bet that's pretty lonely. But Martian Manhunter is used to being lonely. I wonder if he's capable of making his right hand into a female martian so he can fuck it? Martian Manhunter has no idea what he's dealing with so he puts on Doctor Fate's helmet to gain all of the other powers that he didn't already have without it. But only for a few seconds because Superman would never be able to get an erection again if he found out Martian Manhunter had all of his powers and could also do magic. J'onn wears the helmet just long enough to learn what Doctor Fate learned about the contagion: it's a sentient cell! It's smart cancer! And I guess Vampire John Travolta was Patient Zero. Now J'onn just has to figure out how to fight Smart Cancer. I don't even know how he'll defeat it because I just looked up Smart Cancer in the Who's Who to read about its weaknesses and wouldn't you know it? There's no entry for Smart Cancer! Maybe it was in an update that I don't own. Like that version of Who's Who that was just loose pages to stick in a binder! I have that one too but it's possible I just didn't buy all of the expansion packs. Martian Manhunter heads to the source of the contagion to meet Smart Cancer head on. What he finds is a boss from Castlevania.

When you have thousands of people at your disposal, is the most effective way to use them shoving them together into one giant person?

The first thing Smart Cancer's Granfaloon does is try to smash J'onn with its people fist. In effect, it's smashing a dozen people head first into the ground so that dirt sprays up all over the place. So I guess a dozen or so people are now dead, right? It's not like Smart Cancer gave them invulnerability to massive head wounds.

I think this panel is the one where all the Justice League editors through their hands up in resignation and sighed, "I guess the Justice League is ridiculous now."

Martian Manhunter realizes, like me, how fucking stupid Smart Cancer is to put all of its people in one gigantic people-shaped basket. Since all the minds are linked, he realizes he can throw the Fate helmet on one of the people and Doctor Fate can possess Smart Cancer. It works but only for a limited amount of time. Doctor Fate can't hold that many people under his sway. But Doctor Fate does know who can control Smart Cancer: the martian! He can shapeshift his cells into some kind of prison or something. I don't know. It was explained in the most basic medical and scientific terms but they were still beyond my attention span. In the end, Martian Manhunter contained the Smart Cancer in him and that's where it lives now? Oh, and speaking of "the end," check out this clever and titillating final panel:

"Why's it gotta be the ass of the only woman on the team?" I say while pulling my pants down.

Justice League Annual #1 Rating: What?! I don't rate annuals! I mean, maybe sometimes I rate annuals. This one was okay. It was sort of interesting but I was disappointed that Vampire John Travolta wasn't the actual enemy. I hope Smart Cancer fights its way out of J'onn and makes another appearance later.

#Justice League #DC Comics #DC #Keith Giffen #J.M. DeMatteis #Bill Willingham

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aerinmelina · 5 years ago

Note

Give me an a super fluffy Warrenessa fic!

I am sooooo sorry about the delay with this one. The muses were not particularly helpful. And then this idea popped up quite a while ago, and it took a lot of careful thought and refinement before I could make it work out. This oneshot didn’t really turn out the way I’d initially imagined it would, but I think I’m happy with it. I hope you enjoy my late submission for Warrenessa Day!

Thank you to @fairyprincesskendra for being my beta!

*Spoilers for Dragonwatch 3.*

You’ve been warned. Because I couldn’t resist a little bit of backstory behind That Line™️ from Vanessa in MOTPI. I’m posting this from my phone, and the tumblr app isn’t cooperating with a “click to read more” link at the moment, so I’ll try and figure that out on my laptop tomorrow.

——

All it took was one misstep, and voila - everything changed.

Vanessa and Warren had been trying to carefully scout the islands in search of the Sunset Pearl - or find evidence of its location - when they realized they were being tracked. Unsure of what predator may have been following them, exactly, they’d decided to try and seek shelter somewhere secluded and cramped in order to (hopefully) avoid an unwelcome confrontation with something potentially nasty and dangerous.

They’d quickly scrambled up a semi-steep hill of grass and sand when they noticed that the terrain started to become rather rocky. The next area to climb consisted of layers of loose shoal and sharp rocks which jutted out of the ground at odd intervals; a very interesting geological formation which Vanessa would have loved to spend more time studying and exploring if they weren’t in a hurry to shake off whatever was on their tail. They climbed the hillside as quickly and carefully as they could, neither of them feeling particularly safe while exposed on the side of a rocky hill.

Maybe it was the fact that they were rushing. Maybe she hadn’t been paying close enough attention. Maybe it was purely physics.

Whatever the cause… she lost her footing and fell. Hard.

Vanessa cried out in pain, then bit down on her lip and tongue to try and silence herself. Not that there was much point in that effort; the rocks she slipped on had made quite a bit of noise as they started a chain reaction and caused a slide of additional rocks to cascade downhill. Warren turned around and grabbed hold of Vanessa‘s arm before she completely lost her balance and tumbled to the bottom of the hill along with the rest of the rumbling ground. Tears instinctually sprang to her eyes in reaction to her pain. She forced her eyelids open after a moment to assess the damage and found that her right calf had a very large and nasty gash running from nearly the back of her knee to about four inches above her heel. Blood was everywhere. Panic began to swell within her. She wasn’t used to that feeling.

We’re sitting ducks in broad daylight, and I can’t move.

Warren shifted until he was in a better position to examine Vanessa’s wound, then smiled at her.

A forced smile.

“Can you stand?” he asked.

She doubted very much that standing was within the realm of possibilities, but said, “I’ll try.” She twisted carefully to her right and cringed when she realized that her hips, hands and arms were also scratched up pretty well. Her calf was by far the largest and most concerning injury, but the additional cuts and scrapes didn’t make the situation any easier to deal with.

Warren helped her up, then caught her before she could hit the ground for the second time that afternoon. “That’s a no,” he stated. He looked around the area; Vanessa could tell that he was nervous. “We have to get off the side of this hill. Here… climb on.”

“Climb on what, exactly?” she bit out. Her leg was screaming at her. Blood continued to seep out of her wound.

“My back,” Warren replied as if stating the obvious. Maybe he was being obvious, and she was simply in so much pain that she couldn’t properly assess the situation. She watched as he removed his backpack, turned it around, and then placed his arms through the straps so that the bag itself rested against his chest.

Vanessa took a few deep breaths, then nodded her head. “Okay. Okay.” Warren crouched down next to her and she somehow managed to clamber onto his back. When he stood up, she noticed that he was taking care to be aware of the huge gash in her leg. “This is dangerous,” she said. “How are you supposed to get both of us out of this?”

“Shut up and let me think.” After a couple of quick seconds, Warren seemed to decide something and nodded his head sharply, readjusted Vanessa’s weight on his back, and slowly started climbing to their right instead of further upward like they’d initially been doing.

Vanessa wanted to ask him a million questions, but didn’t want to distract him. She wanted to tell him to put her down and run for help, but could then promptly hear him telling her ‘absolutely not.’ And when her leg began to sting and burn, she held in her tears and and thanked whatever God existed that she wasn’t alone.

Progress was very slow. The ground was unstable, and Warren was trying to move as carefully as he could. After perhaps fifteen minutes of grueling climbing, they reached a fairly level shelf of rock which appeared to be at least partially protected from the elements. Warren helped Vanessa down from his back, then took off his pack and fumbled through it for what she assumed were medical supplies. Sure enough, he wound up removing a roll of medical tape, several unopened packages of gauze, wound cleaning solution, a bottle of water, a small container of hand sanitizer, and some sort of thick paste Tanu had sent with them before they’d even left for this preserve in the first place. Vanessa, for her part, couldn’t stop shivering even though she wasn’t cold.

“Your body is in shock,” Warren informed her.

‘Tell me something I don’t know’ was the thought which immediately popped into her brain, but she swallowed those words. He didn’t deserve that. “I’ve lost a lot of blood,” she said instead.

Warren looked down at his side where her leg had been dangling. His pants were very wet with her blood. “I know,” he replied. “I’m going to clean your leg. Hold still, this is probably going to sting pretty bad for a while.” He cleaned his hands with some of the sanitizer, wet a piece of gauze with water from the water bottle, then set to work.

She hissed in pain when he started trying to clean the gaping wound on her calf. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I know this sucks.”

“You would know,” she retorted as she continued to scream internally at just how much her leg hurt.

“You should be grateful. Experience makes me an expert at wound care.”

Vanessa lost track of time. She tried to just focus on breathing while Warren worked on bandaging her up. Her body continued to tremble, although the shaking eased up a little by the time he was done. She only realized he was finished when he held a water bottle out to her, along with a couple of pills he’d apparently found from somewhere; his backpack, probably.

“Ibuprofen,” he explained. “Take it.”

She swallowed the pills as instructed. “How are we going to get out of here?” she asked. “I can’t walk, and the treehouse is too far for you to carry me. I’m amazed you made it this far with me on your back.”

“I’ll carry you to the treehouse,” Warren said.

“Did you not just hear me? The treehouse is too far!”

“Have some faith in me, will you? I know what I’m doing. You and I have been in enough tight situations that I would hope you’d know that by now.”

She let out a loud exhale. “Our best bet is probably for you to go run for help.”

Warren glared at her, which quite honestly surprised her. “I’m not leaving you by yourself, behind enemy lines, with something actively tracking the two of us. You’d be the obvious target. I won’t let that happen to you.”

“Warren-“

“Don’t ‘Warren’ me. I’m not leaving you alone, so stop suggesting it.”

She knew the effort was futile, but between the pain still radiating from her leg, the hot sunshine in her face, the threat of some unknown creature probably wanting to eat them for dinner, and Warren’s obstinate attitude, she couldn’t help but argue.

“Why?”

“What? Why?”

“Yes. Why? Why did you keep me from falling to my death? Why did you carry me all the way over here? Why aren’t you leaving me to go get help, when you and I both know that’s the best option to save at least one of us? Why? Why?”

Warren tugged at the hair on his head. “You are the most infuriating woman I have ever met.”

“You’re doing this because I’m infuriating? That sounds like a good reason to push me off of this ledge.”

“Vanessa! I’m not going to hurt you, and I’m not going to leave you!” he shouted.

She made eye contact with him. They stared at each other for a while before she spoke again.

“Maybe you should,” she muttered.

“What?”

“Maybe you should,” she repeated with a little more volume.

He set his backpack to the side and then sat down in front of her. “I heard you the first time,” he said. “And I’ve already said no to that option.”

“Why?”

Why won’t you save yourself? Please. Please save yourself.

She watched as he ran his hands over his face. He looked at her for a few seconds, then spoke. “Why?” he asked. “Because, probably against my better judgment by now… I still love you, Vanessa. And I’m not going to leave the woman I love to face death by herself. Like it or not, I’m sticking with you. You’re not dying on my watch.”

Vanessa threw rationality out the window, grabbed the front of his shirt, and crashed their lips together. The kiss was short-lived, but it’d have to do for now. “Say it again.”

“You’re a little full of yourself, aren’t you?”

“You like kissing me.”

Warren shrugged. “I love you.”

She smiled. “I didn’t ruin everything?”

“Well, there was that whole ‘oh crap my girlfriend is trying to kill my family’ thing, but you kinda redeemed yourself for that one. But Vanessa?”

“Yes?”

He looked at her seriously. “I’m trusting you. Again. I wasn’t playing last time, and I’m pretty sure that what we had then was real for you, too, but this time… I’m… This is it.”

Vanessa nodded and reached for his hand, then squeezed it. She understood his unspoken message.

Don’t hurt me again.

For at least the millionth time since she’d been sent to the quiet box all those months ago, self-hatred and regret started to creep into her heart. She brushed the emotions aside for the moment and focused on their current predicament. “How are we getting back?”

“You climb onto my back and I carry you to the treehouse.” Warren started re-gathering their items.

Vanessa looked over the edge of the ledge they were sitting on. Climbing back down wasn’t going to be easy. The loose rocks would pose a huge threat to their wellbeing.

“Hey,” Warren said, grabbing Vanessa’s attention. “Look at me, not the ground. I’ll get us out of this mess. Trust me.”

“I do.”

“Well, then stop looking so nervous.”

“Easier said than done, Warren. It’s a long walk down, and the ground isn’t solid. Climbing this hill in the first place has got to be one of the dumbest ideas we’ve ever thought of.”

Warren shrugged. “You’re forgetting Bolivia.”

“Bolivia wasn’t a dumb idea. Your execution of it was dumb.”

“My execution-? Wow, you and I must have very different recollections because I distinctly remember that that plan was your idea.”

“Like I said, the idea itself wasn’t dumb. The actuality of it was.”

Warren rolled his eyes and stood up. He held a hand out toward her; she took it and allowed him to help her stand. Vanessa placed no weight on her bad leg; Warren had bandaged her up very well indeed, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to stand on it.

“We should ditch one of the backpacks,” Warren said. “Get rid of as much weight as possible.”

Vanessa gestured to hers, which still rested on the ground. “Leave mine,” she said. “There’s nothing in it worth keeping anyway.”

“You probably have blow darts or throwing knives in yours,” Warren reasoned. “If I’m doing the walking, you’ll have to be on the lookout.”

“Front pockets,” she instructed. Warren bent down and fetched an assortment of small weapons from Vanessa’s bag. “And the sides. Everything else can stay here.”

He handed her the items, which she found hiding places for on various parts of her person. “Just like Bolivia,” Warren remarked as he watched her tuck a couple of small throwing knives into her shirt.

“This is nothing like Bolivia.”

“Says the woman with knives in her bra.”

“Can we leave yet? Or are you going to stand here and falsely reminisce all day? Because I’d rather be sitting if that’s your plan.”

Warren smirked at her, then placed his backpack over his chest like he had earlier and motioned for Vanessa to climb onto his back. She did so with caution, not wanting to injure herself or cause him to topple over.

“I’m ready,” Vanessa said once she was confident in her ability to maintain a solid grip on his shoulders and waist. “Slowly, now.”

“Yes, Princess,” Warren teased.

Vanessa rolled her eyes, although she knew he couldn’t see her. Curse him. Him and his stupid sense of humor, trying to lighten the mood.

She had to admit, though… he was great at it. He was great at a lot of things, actually. Like climbing down steep rock faces with loose footing and a passenger, and then carrying said passenger all the way back to their home base.

They never did find out what had been tracking them; whatever it was, it seemed to lose interest in them when they drew close to the Lagoon. Vanessa was grateful for that; Warren was very obviously worn out from their trek by then, although he stubbornly continued forward until they reached their destination.

Her stalwart companion. Her irreplaceable man.

Her love.

#fablehaven #dragonwatch #aerinm writes #warrenessa #thanks for asking!#anonymous #warrenessa day 2k19 #warren burgess #vanessa santoro #look warren is awesome ok #he would absolutely take charge of a situation like this #i hope we get more strong warren moments in dw going forward

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mimir-anoshe · 4 years ago

Text

💧&🔥

Just a bit of Cursed/Nimulot analysis… Cause I’m bored. And I might have found some interesting parallels/imagery watching it through for the 7 billionth time that I would love to share. If anyone enjoys writing meta… Which I mean I know some of y’all need your fix… Feel free to use anything/expand upon it. I would, but I’m a new fur-mumma and she’s taking up all my waking hours, so this little shit-post about this new hell hole of a ship I’ve dove headfirst into will have to do. The images are from a video and show produced by Netflix, I own nothing, so pls don’t be a bitch about it Tumblr.

***SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW!!! WATCH IT AND COME BACK!! OR DON’T? ANYHOO YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!!*** ⚠️

- beware Tumblr app users, it may be your doom -

Where to begin, with the teaser? Or with…

THE SHOW! Here be just a wee few times the writers/director(s) through the writing/cinematography have mirrored these two ‘protect the kid - warriors till the end’ idiots. I’m sure others have picked up on them… Not in any particular order, here ya go anyway.

1x02 - 1x10

*Insert spiderman pointing at spiderman meme*

One scar made by an actual dark god tricking her when she was a child, the others by a very human evil tricking him when he was a child and the consequences for both lasting into adulthood.

1x02 - 1x10

Look at the years of trauma Anakin, look at it! They even use the same damn word! The phonetic tones of disgust! The outcast syndrome! Oof. (And it’s not like Nimue being called demon has to do with a general racial-slur from a human, that is a fey calling her that from her own village!) They both grew up viewing themselves as “demons”, the “abominations”. Even their expressions are the same, fear and sorrow and self-hatred. All they both want is to be accepted! (By their fathers especially). To be loved.

The two who are “cursed.”

1x02 - 1x01

*says nothing*

1x04 - 1x01

“Where to begin? With water or with fire?”

Where to begin? WHERE TO BEGIN??? *dies*

Water ☯ Fire

Sword up ☯ Sword down

Light/Day ☯ Dark/Shadow

Life & Death (Life around her, death in the water) ☯ Death & Life (forest fires make way for new growth)

Long bit: Both characters are associated to the elements of water and fire individually through the environment/cinematography/colour pallet/colour symbolism, and then water and fire is mirrored between them. She is overall water, he is overall fire; but they also have a bit of the other in each other.

For Nimue this symbolism is often done through her environment, showing her connection to nature as the fey queen and that she does not hide who she is if she can help it. She does not hide externally, so her elemental symbolism becomes EXTERNAL.

Whilst for Lancelot though he is often surrounded by fire, the idea of water/tears is either symbolised through the fairy tale style of the artwork or referenced for him through his name as “the weeping monk.” Hinted at in his characterisation of guilt and self-loathing, the way other characters respond to him (”the one who cries”/”you see it all through those weeping eyes”). His main conflict is an Internal fight between who he is and who he needs to become, so a lot of his main symbolism surrounding water (and even fire as pertaining to magic - ashfolk - and not killing fey) is INTERNALISED, hidden, cut off from the Hidden themselves. Symbolic of him hiding his connection to the fey and that other side of himself, the “human” (morally speaking) side, and therefore hiding who he truly is… Lancelot.

For Nimue, fire means life. Being chosen and her magic saving people. For Lancelot fire means Death, his deeds, “the fires of hell” and the destruction of the “ash” folk and his heritage. He believes hell fire is his fate, going by the “even if I am damned.”

For Nimue, water means death. In the water she takes revenge, where that Paladin almost drowned her. Into the water she falls, where they think her shot dead by arrows. The water is her fate as the Lady of the Lake. For Lancelot, water means life. Tears, emotions, taking responsibility, feeling the weight of his guilt and mourning for the things he has done/lost. For him, water - not ash -means a second chance to be better. To put out the fires and heal.

Though in the end, for both of them, water & fire most of all represent death and rebirth.

1x03

^If you don’t understand I can’t help you. ☯

1x01 - 1x07

Now this one I found quite interesting. Remember that even if Nimue directed the second one, it is still the Power/will of the Hidden at play. (Or should I say the will of the Writers/director) Chosen? Mirrors? Night and Day? Fire… Embers to Ashes? We shall see, but I think it was definitely on purpose.

^I’ll just leave that here, the fuckers kept missing each other for an entire season (WHICH WAS ON PURPOSE THE WRITERS DID THAT ON PURPOSE just as an fyi). The fact that there is this much sexual tension, anticipation, mirroring, fate, destiny and chemistry between two characters who have never even mET should be ILLEGAL! They affect each other immeasurably without ever even meeting, so imagine what will happen when they do...? *pterodactyl screech*

Whelp there ye go. Under the next gif I also did a bit on the Teaser trailer, as that just fucked me up a bit I have to tell you! Up to you whether you want to continue digesting my mad ramblings or not. *Shrug* Thanks for coming to my TED talk guys– 😂 Somebody fucking smite me down like the eldritch horror of writing I am dear god think of the children…

THE OFFICIAL TEASER TRAILER:

Arthur running for the Sword of Power, because you know, King Arthur.

“The Legend says…” The Legend of King Arthur and his Sword Excalibur/Caliburnus? The line is very meta, a reference to the in world legend that this story will create, but it’s also expecting the audience to be savvy of the actual legend of King Arthur and his knights. Both these ideas intertwined into one. Aka, the trailer expects us to have pre-decided expectations for the story we’re now being told, because we’ve already been told it before; this fairy tale of celtic myth/history. All the “spoilers” about Arthur, his lineage, Morgana, Guinevere, the Knights, even the lady of the Lake herself come with that knowledge. However…

Surprise surprise, the Weeping Monk (killer of fae)/ Lancelot (eventually Arthur’s most trusted KNIGHT) instead picks up the fae sword from it being embedded in the ground, subverting our expectation, it definitely fucking subverted mine, but not in a GOT way, in a ~good~ way. I was like, “Whosoever be this fine hooded fellow hath stole away both sword and my good sense!!! 👀”

Also harkening back to the legend of the sword in the stone (another expectation), which the action itself signifies that person be - as Merlin so eloquently puts - “The one true king.”

Ok… Symbolic wink wink nudge nudge towards his true nature (inside and out), saving Percival, potentially becoming the greatest warrior and protector of his people and eventually a Knight of the Round Table; and perhaps King of our Hearts??? Ok, sure thing “concept” trailer. I’ll bite.

Ok… *deep breath*

WHOMSt the fUCK decided to frame (fae “ashman”) ?Lancelot? with the ~SWORD OF KINGS~ (also of fae origin) A N D the line…‘the one true king’ ALL IN ONE… instead of Arthur?

‘BELONGS to the one true King?’ Belongs, hmm interesting word choice… This done in a worms eye view shot meant to make the viewer feel like the character is above/superior/basically we’re kneeling before them? (Which I mean sure? but…) Hmm??? HMMM??? I don’t understand CONCEPT Trailer what is the CONCEPT you’re trying to get across? One hand on his paladin sword and the other on “fae hope” Excalibur I get, he has to make an important decision, one that will either save his humanity (and his people) or destroy it (them), yeah yeah sure that’s F I N E…

…but what about the “KING” SHIT HMMM?? Is there something you would like to share with the rest of the class? *sips tea whilst staring straight into the camera*

it may mean nothing don’t quote me

…Anwaaaay… We all know in a fight Lancelot can kick Arthur’s ass so that’s not whats going on here. Arthur is P I S S E D. They’re not just bog standard enemies here. I mean WPM kicking him in the ribs was pretty “fuck you” and they were just enemies there. In this instance the sword is in play, Weeping Monk has taken something from Arthur that he feels “BELONGS” to him - in this case symbolised by WPM taking “his” sword - and that’s making it personal.

“You stole my sword ya bitch!” And what is the sword linked to? Power? Sure. The right of being a King? Yep. And also a certain Queen… No no no, this is the Concept of rivalry. It shows that whatever relationship Arthur and his “Knight” will have in the future after all the “die die die” starts to sizzle down will - in its genesis - be a rivalry. Probably mirroring Gawain and Arthur when they first met to an extent. A rivalry for power? For something else? Who Knows!

*whistles innocently*

And down down down he goes. He’s FALLING. There are many metaphorical concepts associated to FALLING… Falling from “grace” (in the eyes of the Church)… Falling because he has a sky full of guilt crashing down upon him… falling for h… falling in Lo… into the Water!!!! Until he is completely submerged. Water, the idea of cleansing, of washing away who you once were/trauma/sins of the past so you may be reborn a better version of yourself. His old ideals are defeated, he submits to his true heritage and allows it to wash around him so he may begin to heal.

Though if we’re talking metaphors, water is - for obvious reasons - always associated with the LADY OF THE LAKE… Nimue. He has fallen into her world. (pss he’s gonna fall for the Chick in the Lake - I think - there ye go). Water is associated to memory/reflections and mirrors. And he is CRASHING through this mirror… This idea of reflections/mirror images is even more ironic when you’ve watched the show.

And as he falls beneath the water with the sword of a King, she rises out of it, with the sword of a Queen… Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s in the biggest shipping hell of them all? Either these two are going to be really good at relay, or there’s some conceptual significance here. The specifics? No fecking clue, will need to wait for a season 2! There is also some interesting use of Z~oo~m in this last bit, but I’m sure it’s pretty obvious to you all. Summary: just visually in a concept “teaser” trailer, the zoom in on them both, the reverse mirroring, the literal and symbolic visual of water and the Sword (of rulers) connecting them frames these two characters together, that’s just in the concept trailer. Links their legend together. TBH IT LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE LANCELOT FELL INTO THE WATER AND TURNED INTO NIMUE WHAT IS THIS GREEK SOULMATE SHIT I’M–

*calms down* This trailer and the show also definitely said to the original Arthurian Legend “RIP but I’m different.” I mean, Nimue is definitely not Lancelot’s mother figure in this one, that’s all I’m saying.

I think this legend might be a wee bit different 😉*cackles*

#nimulot #nimulot meta #nimue x the weeping monk #nimue x weeping monk #cursed spoilers #nimue x lancelot #my meta #mad mimir meanderingly mumbles #Tumblr is my only escape for this - I wouldn't go near twitter with a thousand foot pole if my life depended on it #where to begin? I don't think I'll ever get over that line - I die every time #my pupper was literally like 'mum what the fuck are you doing writing this shit give me LOVES'#also Nimue owns my heart if Lancelot doesn't marry her I'm going to thanks BYE #my shitty humour~~

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grimelords · 6 years ago

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My November playlist is finished and I've done something slightly different by actually ordering the songs into a cohesive playlist rather than leaving them in the order I added them. Listen in for everyone's favourite genre, acoustic guitar instrumentals, followed by old fashioned cowboy country, comedy and ridiculous songs, 80s and modern dance, out-there piano instrumentals, rocks and rolls, oddball rap, christian rock buried where nobody will find it, noise rock of all flavours and Mirror Reaper in full. I guarantee there'll be at least something in four hours of music that you'll like. listen here!

Deixa - Toquinho: I love how much happens in this song even before it even kicks off at about a minute in. It cycles through so many different feelings before it really powers up and the drums come on. The rhythm from then on is just mesmerizing, it's just so busy and never dwells on any section for too long, the interplay between the melody, bassline and chord rhythm is amazing. And then at about 2:20 it powers up again! Bossa Nova Strong. Also I'm feeling very disrespected because I just did some research on this song only to find out it was sampled by Nujabes on one of his bad anime youtube hip hop songs.

Just A Closer Walk With Thee - Marisa Anderson: Traditional And Public Domain Songs is Marisa Anderson's weakest album, which is a shame because I love Traditional and Public Domain songs. Her playing is on point as always, but the tremolo and distortion she's using overwhelms the recording more often than not. This song is the best on the album purely because she's playing so quietly that it only shows up when she gets loud so it works perfectly near the end as it crescendos.

The Three Deaths Of Red Spectre - Gwenifer Raymond: Gwenifer Raymond has a new 'non-holiday specific single for a cold climate' in her words and I absolutely love it. The sheer velocity of the middle section is flooring, before it breaks apart totally and reforms into a sort of shanty before metamorphosing again into a heightening mania. I love the constantly shifting structure of this, it barely stops to give you room to breathe all the way through before the very end where it almost feels like it's going to collapse entirely.

Mister Sandman - Chet Atkins: Happy to report that I've had Mr Sandman stuck in my head for three weeks now and still don't really know the words because of tumblr posts. It alternates between 'mr email / e me a mail / make the attachment a pic of a snail' and 'mr sandman / sand me a man / make him the cutest man car door hook hand'.

Do I Ever Cross Your Mind - Chet Atkins & Dolly Parton: I've never gone much on Chet Atkins but my girlfriend showed my this song and it has completely reversed my opinion and it's mostly due to Dolly Parton. She is just so lovely on this it makes me tear up - the song itself is so nice and the playing is perfect but her personality just shines through so brightly it's an absolute delight.

There's A Man Going Around Taking Names - Lead Belly: I've been doing research to try to find out what this song is referring to, or its origin but I cannot find anything concrete. A few people are saying it inspired Johnny Cash for The Man Comes Around, which is plausible and adds a mystic bent to it. It seems incomplete, like it's missing the turn at the end that reveals who exactly he is or what's happening so the whole song just ends up feeling very mysterious and ominous.

When Mussolini Laid His Pistol Down - Merle Travis: This song is from 1943, which is sort of amazing because that means it's not a song about history particularly but rather current events. A great paragraph from wikipedia: "On 24 June Mussolini gave his last important speech as prime minister. It went down in history as the "boot topping" speech, with the Duce promising that the only part of Italy that the Anglo-Americans would be able to occupy (but forever and horizontally, i.e. as corpses) was the shore-line (for which he used a wrong word to define it). For many Italians, that confused and incoherent speech was the final proof that something was wrong with Mussolini." Mussolini, truly history's greatest moron.

The Master's Call - Marty Robbins: As a result of Red Dead 2 and my own natural instincts, I've been having a bigger than usual moment with cowboy music this month which of course includes Marty Robbins' Gunfighter Ballads And Trail Songs. In my mind this song is both the true ending and end credits music of Red Dead 2. Arthur sees the face of Christ in a lightning bolt and abandons his life of crime and sin, pleading with the lord to forgive him and then God kills a hundred cows with another lightning bolt just to make damn sure Arthur knows He's serious.

Saga Of The Ponderosa - Lorne Green: I was hanging out with my old housemate a few weeks ago and it turns out we were both having concurrent Marty Robbins cowboy music phases which was great news because then he turned me onto this album by Lorne Green who was on Bonanza and apparently took it upon himself to expand the Bonanaza Cinematic Universe in the 60s with a few albums. This song is apparently an origin story of Bonanza which I have never seen. It's extremely good, very powerful music. Great story of this godlike man striding across the country and overriding his wife's decision by naming his son HOSS.

Hard Sun - Eddie Vedder: I think it's interesting in A Star Is Born that Jackson Maine doesn't seem to be a real life equivalent of any actual musician. He's not obviously an archetype of any real person and so it's hard to place how exactly famous he is in the world of the movie. He's washed up enough to be playing pharmaceutical conferences but still has enough industry respect to be playing a tribute at the Grammys. The closest I could think of was Eddie Vedder oddly enough, and this song from the Into The Wild soundtrack really does sound like a Jackson Maine original.

For Chan - Tim Heideker: I'm having a real thing with comedy music recently and I can't tell if it means I've got a brain parasite or comedy music is good to me now. I think what I like about this song is the bluntness. There's no two ways about these people, and after years of hearing about the alt right as mysterious political genius computer brains it's a nice break to just hear them called greasy fat basement guys like we used to.

That's Right I'm Five - Don't Stop Or We'll Die: More good comedy music! They played this song on Comedy Bang Bang without announcing what it was called first, so the chorus really surprised me and made me laugh a lot. "They're selling the stocks so buy them, launch the torpedoes, tell my wife I love her, and send my son to college, bury me in the desert in my osh kosh b'gosh - that's right I'm five!" might be my favourite lyric of the year.

Future Brain - Den Harrow: Den Harrow is very good. He's like a beautiful moron American man that some italian scientists built in a lab in order to conquer America from the inside. Here are some good highlights from his wiki article: "The name Den Harrow was conceived by producers Roberto Turatti and Miki Chieregato, who based it on the Italian word denaro(money)." "After years of fame and popularity, it was revealed by frontman Stefano Zandri and his producers that Zandri did not actually sing the Den Harrow songs; he was essentially a character who lip-synched to vocals recorded by a number of other singers. Furthermore, since they did not consider Zandri's name and origin to be "trendy" enough, the producers R. Turatti and M. Chieregato concealed Zandri's Italian origin, marketing him as having been born Manuel Stefano Carry in Boston. This was done so Polydor Records could market him more easily in the English-speaking world, where Italian-produced music was, at the time, viewed with skepticism"

Love A Girl Right - Little Mix: Check out this rewrite of the Thong Song they did for the new Little Mix album. It's beyond belief. My girlfriend loves Little Mix and she's right to because they're the only girl/boy band that actually takes advantage of the form and does harmonies instead of just having them all sing in turn or all at once. They've got good vocal arrangements but they have the worst fucking songwriters working for them. Songwriters that pitch 'what if the Thong Song had a crunchy nu-metal guitar in it'.

This City Made Us - The Protomen: It's interesting to hear a band change styles - most other Protomen songs are a sort of Springsteen pastiche but this one from their newer single is more like Iron Maiden or Thin Lizzy. Approaching the 80s from a different angle. It's impressive to switch so radically and still have enough of a unifying sound that it feels like the same band. 80s throwback rock is a generally pallid genre populated by freaks who can't move on but Protomen put so much heart into it it's hard to write them off.

Teardrops - Womack & Womack: I love this song because it has two choruses. The drums stay the same throughout, the chords stay the same through the verse and chorus and only change for the second chorus/bridge part ("the music don't feel like it did when I felt it with you"), which just gives the whole song this feeling of beautiful endlessness. It goes and goes and goes and you're always already living in the best part of the song.

Boys Will Be Boys - The Duncan Sisters: Very very good piece of disco with a very nice piece of country picking guitar near the start for some reason. I quit like that the chorus of 'boys, oh boys, will be boys - they can really hurt you!' goes from a lighthearted thing about relationships until the bridge near the end where it sounds more like a dire warning. She's staring straight into your eyes and saying 'they can hurt you. boys can hurt you. they can really hurt you.' while motioning toward the exit with her eyes.

Ayaya - Bicep: I've been trying to train my ear a bit better so I got a piano app on my phone and I just try to pick out the melodies of songs now when I'm bored. It turns out this is a very satisfying song to play. The melody is very simple, but the constant build and the couple of other melodies that come in around it make you feel like a super genius for just playing the same thing over and over.

The Call - David Mayer: I completely forget how I came across this song but I'm in love with the vocals on it. The effect reminds me of the one on Problem With The Sun by Nicolas Jaar, sort of pitched down and layered over itself. Outside of the vocals it's a pretty straightforward euro house chunk but damn sometimes a song just has a really good sound in it that you can't deny.

Problem With The Sun - Nicolas Jaar: My girlfriend's brother was telling me he was riding his bike the other day and had some kind of mental break where he was riding north in the afternoon but the sun was on his right, in the east - and for some reason his first instinct wasn't that he was wrong or disoriented, it was that there was a problem with the sun and it was in the wrong place. That boy ain't right but this song is good. I love that Nicolas Jaar uses this weird down pitched voice on a few songs and I really wish he'd bring it back, it sounds great and also funny to me.

Ensaslayi - Cecil Taylor: I don't have the brain power to comprehend any of Cecil Taylor's ensemble work that I've heard, free jazz in a band setting is simply too much for me it turns out -but I've really been getting a lot out of this solo album of his called Fly! Fly! Fly! Fly! Fly!. This song in particular is one of the longer ones on the album, where another is only 53 seconds long and a few last around ten minutes. This is a nice midpoint, where he gives himself so much room to get lost in different directions without losing the thread entirely. I said it last time I was talking about him but I've really never heard anyone play piano like this and I absolutely love it. A lot of reviewers describe it as him playing the piano like it's a drumkit, which I think is accurate to a degree - but I think looking back from here this music makes a lot more sense within the context of black midi and things like that. The extreme edges of what a piano can theoretically do, but with a decisive and beautiful human edge and human brain that's responsible for and making sense of the chaos.

The Homeless Wanderer - Emahoy Tsegué-Maryam Guèbrou: I found out about this album cause Benjamin Booker was posting about her on his instagram story and it's just incredible. The TL;DR of her story is she's an Ethiopian nun that studied music in Switzerland and Cairo and wrote this beautiful piano music based on traditional Ethiopian pentatonic music. I love the rhythm of it, every note in the right hand get swirled around and around before it's settled on while the left hand moves so smoothly and delicately. Unfortunately-ish she's obviously in that genre of Searching For Sugarman secret blog music evidenced by her spotify similar artists being Karen Dalton, Alice Coltrane and Connie Converse. That's not a bad thing exactly, at least people are hearing about her, but her music is unique and amazing enough on its own without needing much mythologizing.

Carnival Of The Animals: No 12 - Fossils - Camille Saint-Saëns: My girlfriend was showing me Saint-Saëns' The Swan and then we were going through the whole rest of the Carnival Of The Animals and I'm happy to report that he not only did he do one for fossils but also centered it around the idea of a bone xylophone. I'm going to write an article for Vulture tracing the origin of the cartoon bone xylophone and my thesis is it starts here.

Perth - Bon Iver: Just thinking about how good Bon Iver is. I love how massive this song can feel, the drums combined with the big brass. It's small and soft on the grand scale, but on an album that gets as quiet and soft as songs like Holocene this song blows up like an atom bomb.

Yet Again - Grizzly Bear: This really is one of the best songs of all time I've decided. It feels like I get into a thing of listening to it on repeat almost every month now. I don't know what it is exactly - I guess it's every part of it. The lyrics are impenetrable (check) the riff is simple and powerful (check) the drums are doing a lot and keeping it simple at the same time. The the way the harmony vocals all intertwine in the prechorus part is amazing. The way the whole song blows up into a big radio static solo at the end. Every part of this song is great, I just love it.

Fuckin N' Rollin - Phantastic Ferniture: I found out that Julia Jacklin has a side project with a very shit name and they make very good music. I love when people have a whole other band for another side of their self. This is just Julia Jacklin if the lyrics were just first draft whatevers instead of incredibly poignant and beautiful and the music was just rockin and rollin with your friends. It's great!

Soft - Kings Of Leon: Number one best song ever about havin a bad dick!! I'd love to hang out lady but my dick! I'm passed out in your garden, I'm in I can't get off I'm so soft! I'd pop myself in you body, I'd come into your party but I'm soft!

Soft Serve - Soul Coughing: I played this while I was driving with my girlfriend and she said 'what the fuck is this' and she's right, as usual. It's Soul Coughing baby! The 90s 'slacker jazz' band! They sound dated as fuck, a real product of their time but I think they've still got a lot to offer. I had the chorus of this stuck in my head for a couple days which made me listen to this album more than usual when I mostly prefer their first one Ruby Vroom. Irresistible Bliss might have the worst album cover of all time though, so it's got that going for it. Google it.

Ya Mama - Wuf Ticket: There wiki article for this band says they had two songs in 1982 and that was it. Then it has a section titled Greaseman and then the article ends. Here's the Greaseman section in its entirety: "Wuf Ticket's “Ya Mama” achieved its greatest notoriety, and airplay, as a music bed for bits by shock jock The Greaseman on WWDC-FM in Washington, D.C. and later his nationally syndicated radio show where Greaseman would argue with a surly service industry worker." Anyway this is more of that very good early hip hop shit where everyone assumed songs should go for 8 minutes. It's just extremely weak sauce Ya Mama jokes for a very long time before they change tack completely and start talking about how Every Woman Is An Angel And Without Mothers We Would Never Have Been Born So Think About That Next Time.

Gon Be Okay - Lil B: I had the part of this song where he sings 'things are never gonna be the same again' along with the piano in my head the other day and spent fully an hour googling to try to find what song it was from before giving up. I woke up the next morning and suddenly remembered it was this song but was very shocked to find out that he actually never sings that line along with the piano melody, he says it once at the start and that's it. What's going on with my brain. Anyway in my searching I found out that the piano is sampled from the Spirited Away soundtrack so once more in my life I've been led to ruin by anime.

2 Minute Drills - Allblack & Kenny Beats: This whole EP is great. More sports themed rap please. Allblack is ferocious and Kenny's production throughout is great, the perfect mix of simple straighforward beats that still have a lot of space and energy in them, plus 'Woah Kenny!' has my award for Best New Producer Watermark.

Don't Gas Me - Dizzee Rascal: I don't know how he keeps doing it but somehow Dizzee Rascal continues to make extremely fun bangers without ever slowing down. The best line in this is when he says "no I don't drink Appletiser" (the sparkling apple juice) which is an extremely weird flex if there ever was one.

Acid King - Malibu Ken: It feels insane that a Tobacco and Aesop Rock collab sounds as good as this. I love that there's no drums the entire time he's rapping and I completely love the Mort Garson vibes in the instrumental which turns out to be a perfect soundtrack to the Ricky Kasso satan worship LSD murder story that Aesop's telling. Also in reading about Kasso I just discovered the very good stoner doom band also named Acid King, so expect to see them in next month's list.

Pirate Blues - As Cities Burn: As Cities Burn have reformed and put out a new single so I've been thinking about them a bit. On paper they don't sound good, over three albums they morphed from a christian metalcore band to a christian alt-rock band, and while they never reinvented the wheel I think they're a remarkable band who took a lot of risks in their own way and made a lot of rock solid music. They've got a lot of great songs but I think this is my favourite from their third album when it finally felt like they'd settled into a steady alt rock sound informed by their much heavier past.

This Is It, This Is It - As Cities Burn: The thing I like about As Cities Burn is that as much as they're a christian band (yuck) they're more of a band of guys who are christians (slightly less yuck) and the difference is huge. Rather than evangelising or preaching, their songs are about their own personal struggles with their faith (still slightly yuck). I like this song especially because the lyric feels close to gospel, 'we're all singing for our sins, unless grace be the wind' but with the added twist of being furious that you're trapped by the sin of your physical body.

Timothy - As Cities Burn: I think this song is just incredible. The lyrics are so strong and direct and heartbreaking, the vocal performance especially is amazing and it may be the only time in history that a 6 minute guitar solo has seemed good and necessary.

Face Tat - Zach Hill: There's an incredible video of the recording of this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGi9SOFX5rc that really looks exactly how it sounds and has a very similar energy to that video of 80 guys singing the halo theme in the boys bathroom. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRG9KwvbVhk . This is what it sounds like when the boys are left alone. The biggest draw to Zach Hill's drumming is the intense primordial immediacy of it. He is just pounding away like a possessed animal and it's really on show here, especially combined with the occasional punctuating shout. Carson McWhirter's guitar is incredible too, the tone he's got where it sounds like three at once playing these incredible twisting riffs that turn on a dime. I think what I like most about this song is just how in sync they are - for such a chaotic, noisy song it sounds so rehearsed, somehow every single note is perfectly in time in the storm.

Betty's Worry Or The Slab - Hunters And Collectors: This is maybe the sweatiest song I've ever heard. It's a disgusting song about being incredibly sweaty and horny and I love the weird squeaky noise he makes after he says 'say it! say it!'. The bass sound in this is so fantastically meaty too, and combined with the brass at the end it's just great.

Worms Of The Senses / Faculties Of The Skull (live) - Refused: I cannot believe just how absolutely ferocious live Refused is. Insanely powerful without ever missing a beat in a song like this that requires incredible timing throughout. For some reason I've always thought Refused were an only ok live band after watching Refused Are Fucking Dead because all I remember of it is a clip where the guitarist accidentally hits the singer in the face with his headstock and they have to stop the show.

Mirror Reaper - Bell Witch: I got to see Bell Witch live a couple of weeks ago and it's one of the best shows I've ever seen. I can't really describe it other than it feels like the closest thing to a legitimate summoning ritual that I've ever seen. An invocation and an expelling of raw power and emotion between two people, it was really something. Also the best part was about two minutes in when they were really setting the scene with the sort of ambient beginning of Mirror Reaper and the whole crowd was dead silent and entranced as they built this mystic atmosphere and set the vibe a guy behind me said loudly to his friend 'hm pretty good so far!'

What's You Gonna Do When The World's On Fire - Lead Belly & Anne Graham: This is in my opinion the best genre of gospel song where they they just roast you for not being saved yet.

listen here

#playlists

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etudaire · 7 years ago

Text

A big bang of “how to” stuff

There I was again tonight forcing laughter faking smiles so I made up this long ass post for y'all!

So you a potato. Me a potato. World conquered by we potatoes. But potato need survival tips. So your brotato (get it? Bro potato?) help you out. Yay potato. Go go potato.

Study related stuff :

1. Get good grades

Catch concepts, not chapters. Your portion is most likely gonna be super vast, so it’s helpful to know a little something from every chapter rather than knowing just 50% of your syllabus.

Figure out which concepts are important and master them.

Keep all assignments completed at least 1 day before submission date. This isn’t always possible but trust me if you do this you’re guaranteeing marks for proper submission. Job done early? Proof check and add touches to enhance that essay!

Let the teachers know that you’re working hard. I actually passed math because my math teacher knew I was working super hard on my math skills. Participate in the class, gather a bunch of doubts and then dump them on your teacher when the chapter ends.

Try not to miss lectures because chances are you’ll remember that silly mnemonic your friend made up in class and get the answer correct.

Analysis of your exam type is super important. Want me to make a long ass post about it?

2. Be more productive

Having a stuydjo/bujo by your side helps hella lot.

Plan plan plan. Lists, organise lists and colour code them. Basically become Monica Geller Bing and you’re set for life.

Motivational quotes from pinterest almost make me guilty for not being productive and force me to do something.

Before starting your study session, dance around to upbeat music for like 5 minutes. You’ll see the difference I promise.

Seek out inspiration from your smart friends /tumblr friends /people you look up to by constantly reminding yourself about them. I always think of hermione granger because even randomly picturing her with books in my mind ignites that badass boss feeling complying me to study tf up.

3. Manage your time

Studyjo/bujo saves your life.

Wear a watch all the damn time, it will remind you of how much time you’re spending doing nothing. You’ll end up saving several extra minutes!

List out what you’re gonna do every hour of the day on a sticky note and refer to it when you feel lazy.

Get a super nice friend /parent /sibling who will constantly remind you to utilise your time.

Think of time as currency and pretend that it’s all a game where you need to save up as much money as you can to become a billionaire. Save up your time and become rich af.

4. Avoid procrastinating

Stduyjo/bujo again. You know the drill now.

A little bit of exercise before starting work generally works you up and sets the correct mood.

Knowing how ahead your friends are from you often makes you wanna catch up so try getting that motivation.

Set goals + rewards that actually matter to you. Maybe a face care spa day isn’t your thing but munching on a snickers bar is. Treat yo self.

Tell someone a detailed plan of what you are going to accomplish the next day. Now whenever you see that person you’ll want to prove to them that you’re doing what you promised. Or the guilt may drive you too.

Appearance related stuff :

1. Look more put together

Try the lipstick trick. There are days when you do not have the time /want to put on makeup, so just put on a lipstick that matches your outfit and you’ll automatically create an illusion of being more put together, boss af and fabulous.

Try out cheap (potato can’t afford sorry) but elegant accessories. If it’s a necklace try tucking it under the collar of your shirt and see the magic. Stick to one staple accessory that’s gonna be your trademark.

Tame that mane potato. Your hair isn’t gonna detangle itself. You gotta do it. I mean, don’t you love your hair?

Minimalistic colours rock. Some outfits never go old like flannels or white shirts or black dresses.

2. Feel beautiful

The lipstick does the trick for me.

Putting my hair in a sky high ponytail makes me feel like I’m a queen or something.

Save little compliments for yourself as reminders and when you get them you’ll feel 10x more beautiful than before.

Mind related stuff :

1. Deal with burnout/slump

Try to accomplish super tiny stuff. Break down every task into micromolecular basics.

Give yourself a ted talk. It works.

Sometimes the best way of dealing with burnout is by detoxing from the thing that caused burnout. Stay away form books and after some time you’ll actually want to study.

2. Study with slumps/mental illness

Step one is to finish homework /assignments. If you can concentrate on them, you’re good to go.

Do not take up a lot of load, just skimming through textbooks, reviewing notes, going over flashcards should do the trick.

If you desperately need to get shit done, just ignore the fact that you do not want to do it. It’s harsh on your mind but desperate times require desperate measures.

Avoid forcing yourself to study because you’ll not retain info like that.

Take it easy. But consistently. Maybe just one topic a day. But do not miss a day. A steady everyday practice goes long way in the future.

3. Strengthen self control

There are several apps that can help you with this, like forest. My top pick is the Tide app which has a gorgeous interface and super aesthetic timers with new pictures everyday. I shit you not every time I quit my pomodoro I feel the guilt of having killed 1000 puppies its worse and I avoid doing that at all costs.

If you study in your room, keep your phone in the kitchen for some time. Your lazy ass is less likely to get up and use the phone.

Switching the phone off before starting a study session works because I care for my phone like a baby and it feels horrible to switch it on and off and on and off.

Practice 30 minutes of digital detox everyday. You don’t have to study at that time, just stay away from everything that is technology. Read and book, eat a fruit, make a sandwich, paint, sing, dance, exercise. Study if you want. Just no gadgets.

4. Deal with stress

Yoga works. Potato body ain’t that flexible so just breathing exercises for a start is also enough.

Highly recommended : brain dump every night before sleeping can ensure that you’ll not stay up too late pondering over the meaning of your existence and world politics.

Having a hearty talk with someone you trust will also lift weight off your chest.

Pin point the cause of your stress and annihilate the problem. Slay it.

Life related stuff :

1. Drink more water

Carry a cool ass bottle of water with you every frigging where.

Make it a rule to have a drink everytime you go to the loo or you take a bath /shower.

Replace one of your daily caffeines /sugars with water. You don’t have to get rid of coffee because that’s just non potato ish, but maybe that third cup could be replaced with water.

Try a game thingy. Maybe everytime the word ‘procrastination’ pops in your mind take a drink. Wow, I’m so creative *sighs for eternities*.

2. Be more healthy

5 minute stretches right after getting up works you up.

Try one of those YouTube videos of 15 minute workouts. You can have 3 such workouts through the day and call yourself a fit potato.

Replacing one packet of junk food with nuts/fruits also works.

Everytime you hear someone say something related to money, have a banana. Random much? Nope, bananas are known to increase hormones that make you happy in your body, meaning you’ll feel full and happy. Maybe offer the person a banana too.

3. Be more happy

Eat bananas!

Take pictures of things you love, not things your followers love.

Puppies are a source of eternal joy.

Reading goofy/cheesy/romance books make you giggle and feel good in general.

Watching cheesy films or good ass romcoms works just well.

Friends was created for a reason.

Writing down what you accomplished today gives a sense of pride and satisfaction. Take that shit.

Tumblr has shitposts made basically to make you happy.

4. Find your true calling /figuring tf out what you wanna do with your life

Lists lists lists. Subjects you love, you hate, you’re good at, you suck at.

Consulting your teachers, family etc and find out what they think you’re good at. Sometimes other people can see traits of yours better than you.

Career tests rock.

You’ll figure it out in the end somehow.

And that’s about it for now folks, hope this helps. See y'all laterz~

Etudaire ♥

#study #studyblr #stud tips #masterpost #life #mental health #studyspo #studysthetics #productivity #motivation #inspiration #exams #grades #i'm procrastinating #mind #water #van studies

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natsumiheart · 6 years ago

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I gotta say, I started following your blog after you made the 100 reasons why I ship saiouma post, because at the time I was getting alot of crap from people saying why do I ship the ship because they disliked it and they prefer other ships like oumota/saimota/oumeno or consider saiouma unhealthy/generally disliked it. I found your post to be kinda comforting really and I really enjoy reading your content. I love you + your blog, and am really grateful to you. Also sorry I spam your ask box

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Aaaa I’m crying thank you so much ;; feel free to spam as much as you want dun worry about it! 😂

I’m honestly glad my blog feels like a safe space for fellow Saiouma shippers. I definitely know the feeling of getting a lot of crap from other people just because they otp something else (don’t get me started on those people from amino who shipped before the game came out then attack you just because Kokichi ended up having feelings for someone else). You can come to me anytime to assure you what they’re saying is wrong and is just a result of their insecurities towards their ship. To be honest, no ship with Kokichi is unhealthy, because Kokichi is not who they think he is. I believe in the end anyone who hates Saiouma just misunderstood Kokichi or Shuichi’s character. There’s a reason why most youtubers who have played the game end up acknowledging the existence of the ship after all.

When I started falling for the ship I had no dr friends who liked it so I was just fangirling on my own, reading fanfics on my own, drawing fanart and never showing anyone XD (it was sad really but it was fun to draw for my otp and being so happy about it) one day I decided maybe I should just post all that art onto dr amino as some huge art dump, but then still got some controversial comments everytime I posted something and didn’t get that much recognition. I already didn’t like that amino cause I wasn’t a huge fan of the dr fandom itself, don’t know if I was even considered a part of it. But those incidents where my friend had to keep stepping in to protect me just made me hate it to death. (thanks for protecting me @souda-nouda ;;)

I still post my drawings here and there but not as much, it’s all art dumps. Plus I never talk there, because 1. already hated the fandom and 2. one time I joined a chat and after someone (it was obv what their otp was but I’m not gonna mention it, dun wanna generalize those shippers because I’m sure not everyone is like that) noticed my Saiouma pfp they sent a “meme” ridiculing Saiouma 😂 basically a screenshot of the “you’re alone and always will be” scene with the caption “Oh I love Saiouma so much best ship” or something like that. I ended up never talking that much, was scared of being there and it was worse with my anxiousness. I ended up ranting to myself yet again then just keeping that rant in my notes, and later referred to that rant in an answer to an ask asking about how I feel towards the opinion that Saiouma is just onesided. You can find it here if you want to XD You can tell which parts I had to refer to my rant to.

But honestly, the worst one is when friends diss it in front of me with no regards for my feelings about it. When it’s others I can ignore but when it’s friends you can say “I take the beating” and laugh it off even though they’re seriously hurting me. (I know it’s just a ship, but it’s my otp for god’s sake 😂) The reason why I started disliking some ships even though I shipped them in the past is that of people trying to tell me why Saiouma sucks and why their ship is better. It was worse too when it was irl 😂 One of my only friends irl that knows danganronpa dissed my otp really badly when I had no one else and I just laughed it off 😂😂😂 (again won’t mention their ship, but it def affected my opinion on that ship and them as a person. tbh have come to seriously not like that ship at all, cause most fans of it treated Saiouma shippers the same way)

Life was like that for a while, the only one I could rant to was myself or my friend in class who knew nothing about danganronpa “I’m dying these fics are killing me and I have no one to talk to about it save me, Person B has the hanahaki disease and ran away! at this rate he’s gonna die on the streets!” poor friend

One day my friendo on kh amino for like two years now told me to post the drawings I’ve been hoarding to tumblr with her (hey @xs-xs ily thanks for dragging me to tumblr ;;💕💕💕) and she soon joined me on the ship becoming my first ever friend to have shipped Saiouma! I ended up legit spamming her with a bunch of fics that I read and loved and even a bunch of Saiouma artists I followed here on tumblr! Honestly, she helped me at such a rough time, bless her. I love her so much utcjgcfsyrehtsefxjd

my lil sis somehow joined me as well after playing the game pfpfp we fangirl together sometimes

You may laugh at me but I seriously feel safer on tumblr as a place to post these stupid drawings, I hate them, I want to get better constantly, but meeting fellow shippers and getting support for doing what I do just makes me so happy ;; and now I’m just so happy that I could you help you through something I’ve gone through as well. Because of this place I feel like I can just post drawings for me and my little circle of followers and mutuals who love the ship as well, and I ended up meeting really imp friends to me now that I speak to every day (hey @reichiroll and @my-own-special-atmosphere thank you so much for talking to me even though all I did at the time was just post drawings and was srsly new to tumblr 😂)

As you can see having been questioned multiple times as to why I ship them I ended up with tons of nights staying awake and just remembering each and every detail of why I loved the ship so much, why did I keep staying awake at night reading fanfictions of them? why did drawing them make me so happy even though I was going through such a rough time in my life? Why did I feel like I’m on cloud 9 just talking about them? Why did I want someone to talk to about it so badly? One day, I was left without internet, and away from home, I felt so horrible, but to make myself feel better I just whipped out my notes app again and just started typing the many reasons I shipped Saiouma.

It wasn’t supposed to be 100 tbh, and it almost ended up more than 100 (I didn’t mention all those cute moments between Shuichi and Kokichi before the fte starts, the “Shuichi you understand me I’m so happy I’m crying!”, the time they ran away from Kaito together, or the time Kokichi taught him stuff about lying. I don’t even think I mentioned the funny backhanded compliments in salmon team, like Kokichi wants to compliment Shuichi but doesn’t know how to so he does it in his own Kokichi way 😂 “no matter how many times I’m reborn I’m no match for the likes of you” and “You’re really amazing Shuichi” hhhhhh), it didn’t even take much time to write. but somehow (due to the unhealthy amounts of hours I spend thinking about Saiouma) I wrote all that, and somehow that post got a lot of notes proving to me that I was actually not alone. It made me so happy.

and that’s how that post came to be! XD It’s awesome that you’ve been here for that long ;;💕

Sorry for the sudden rant, you can already tell that I can’t help but rant alot XD your message hit me right in the heart, I almost started crying from happiness 😂 thanks again and as I said earlier spam me all you want, answering your asks is fun! and for the friends who I ended up tagging, hey sorry I just love you and can’t hold this love back XDDD

#asks #ahhaa things got emotional #im just happy and thankful #im not lying when i say i love you all 😂#the support always makes my day so thank you

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