#tua humor

[shyjusticewarrior]

Red Hood Incorrect Quotes Pt 20

Rose: How are you so out of breath? I did all the work.

Jason: It's from cheering you on.

Officer: You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Jason: *spits* Use that against me.

Jason: Who are we killing? I won't do kids, that's a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid's a dick.

[sunnylittlebisexual]

Tua s1-3: spectacular, gimme 14 of em rn

Tua s4: what the fuck is that fucking thing

[phantasmicfish]

We won but at what cost

[jabibi-the-beef]

reading all the posts about tua s4 is so interesting because I am never the person to go to to like analyze whether a show/movie was good or bad but dang. you're ALL right and I am also upset

[firstpersonnarrator]

Beautiful ingraving. Source: @sobadbad (X)

Rob Being Beautiful, The Masterlist 2/X

[kaybreezy3000]

Imagine Five trying to do normal stuff...

Link to all my Tumblr art/story posts

Link to my story/art Master List

Link to visit me direct on AO3

[robertisaworkofart]

I can’t stop seeing:

Salome with the Head of John the Baptist

Matthias Stom; Onorio Mariani

Luther with the Head of Klaus the Baptist

Netflix

[apocalypse-boi]

I'd like to think Five and Lila were just fucked in the head after not seeing their families for seven years. I'd like to think they were both starved for love and their brains were warped by the fact that they only had each other to survive off of. I'd like to think that they just wanted a break from the absolute chaos of their lives where they could be loved wholly by another person without question.

But what I'd REALLY like is an exploration of the deepening platonic connection between the two of them that allows for emotional intimacy like we saw in the final subway scene without meddling with their dynamic or integrity as characters and making them total assholes.

[umbrella-academy-hcs]

Five just accidentally jumpscares his siblings 24/7 and is amused by it every single damn time

[conduitandconjurer]

Trying to articulate why the germaphobe Klaus gag is so abundantly off-putting to me, as a genuinely immunocompromised, chronically ill person in America, who has been discriminated against for work because of disclosing that illness, and who has been harassed and screamed at by right-wingers for still sometimes masking indoors.

Like. Yeah it's explicable given his character's journey. But you didn't HAVE to. It's not even that original. Are you maybe trying to justify the idea that wanting his powers back is a good thing (which is clearly going to happen, given scenes of Luther and Ben with theirs restored at least in some timeline)?

[fourfuckinghorsemen]

Could it be because a lot of the time you wait for people to come and talk to you or offer to hang out with you?

How else am I supposed to know that they want to spend time with me, or talk to me? If they offer, it's because they want to. If I offer, they'll probably just accept because it's the polite thing to do.

Besides, given how abysmal my attempts at talking to people have been recently, I'd rather not bother anyone more than I already have. 🤷‍♂️

[laurrelise]

stumbling across this meme without a single umbrella academy tag after heavily hyperfixating on the umbrella academy feels illegal

[lumieretrain]

I finished to read With Your Panda?!? by Sandra Bordigoni, which is an uplifting book about an unexpected journey with humor and sweet moments.

Ho finito di leggere Con La Tua Panda?!? di Sandra Bordigoni, che è un libro edificante su un viaggio inaspettato con umorismo e momenti dolci.

Ich habe Mit Deinem Panda?!? von Sandra Bordigoni fertig gelesen, ein erhebendes Buch über eine unerwartete Reise mit humor und süßen Momenten.

J’ai fini de lire Avec Ton Panda?!? de Sandra Bordigoni, qui est un livre édifiant sur un voyage inattendu avec de l’humour et des moments doux.

[pottersmiracle]

Drunk words are sober thoughts

Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves x Fem! Reader

warnings: tiny bit of angst here and there-fluff-drunk ben-clingy/affectionate ben-klaus teasing you both-use of y/n-small bit of pet names (by ben)-drunk ben talks about being married to you 👀

summary: your boyfriend tries his best to act like the umbrella academy being there doesnt affect him, he also tries to act like he doesnt care that they don’t like him. But he’s horrible at hiding it from you.

a/n: rewatching tua - if this man doesnt get a smidge of happiness in season 4 im rioting - someone give sparrow ben a hug and a kiss - not proofread don’t murder me - pls send requests for umbrella academy characters 🙏

Masterlist

Ben was drunk. Really drunk. You were sitting next to him at the table and Klaus came over and started talking to you both, mainly you because you were actually interested in talking to him, “eleven people.” Ben mumbled. ��Huh?” Klaus asked, you looked at Ben confused. “There are only eleven people left.” He says looking at both of you.

“Okay.. drunk ben clearly likes numbers and.. shrimp.” Klaus says looking at Ben’s plate. You laugh softly as Ben looks at Klaus, “and you couldn’t even invite me to your stupid bachelor party.” You sigh and lean back in your chair. You were right

“Oh.” Klaus said taken aback, “have we finally flicked off bad benny’s hard candy shell?” “Why don’t you like me?” Ben asked, his words slurring a bit. “Because you’re a big puckering asshole!” Klaus admitted. Actually its not like you could disagree with him, Ben was an asshole to klaus and the others.

You let them talk and walked around talking to everybody, congratulating Luther and Sloane, even having an actual nice talk with Reginald, Ben was staring him down the whole time though.

You walked past Fives table and nodded at him, you could tell he was severyly drunk and it was honesty humorous. He raised his glass to you and nodded as you laughed and walked back over to your boyfriend who was watching you as you sat down.

“You left me.” Ben pouted. You laughed and scooted your chair closer to him, “you were having a conversation. I gave you two some privacy.” Klaus gave you a smile and took a sip of his drink.

Ben groaned in response and took a bite of his shrimp as you all watched Reginald stand up to make a speech. You rubbed Ben’s back softly as Reginald talked, as he talked you notice Viktor and Allison. They were in a heated argument it was obvious but Allison ended up leaving the wedding.

“The sun rises over a lily’s field. A mother veiled, her lips concealed. The mourners come in droves of black to bury what their hearts unpack. With shallow breath and time eclipsed, i pray you miss death’s gentle kiss.” Reginald finished his speech and looked at everyone.

You clapped lightly and klaus cheered, “Beautiful! bravo dad! Bravo!” Ben stared at his father, “makes no sense.” He mumbled, you smiled at him and held his hand.

Chet turned on some more upbeat music after Reginalds dark speech. Everyone got up to dance except for you, Ben, and Viktor. “Can i tell you something?” Ben asked sitting up to look at you, his words were slurring but not enough to not understand him. “Of course.” You said.

“I would’ve loved getting married to you.” He admitted. “Just.. not at the end of the world.” He said slowly. You looked at him, you were shocked that he said that. He was always affectionate but not like this. He got up and kissed the top of your hand before standing up, “come on, let’s dance.” He had a wide grin on his face, he was officially in his chaotic stage of drunk. You tried to push off what he said as, he’s just drunk, its nothing to think about.

Although drunk words are sober thoughts..

After the fun dancing, everyone sat on the roof and hung out. You sat next to Sloane with Ben and Klaus trailing behind you, Ben sat next to you and wrapped an arm around you and Klaus sat next to Ben.

Ben rested his head on yours and Five got up, he wobbled around and everyone started yelling and laughing, “i feel like im gonna throw up.. actually, i’m hungry.” He said his goodbyes to everyone before going inside followed by Diego and Lila.

Ben and Klaus got up to leave as well. “Oh god.” You muttered standing up, “i should follow them. Goodnight guys, congratulations.” You smile at Luther and Sloane who smile back, “goodnight!” Viktor said goodnight to them as well and went inside with you.

[starkidsonnets]

nessun dorma

edward nashton x reader minific

| contains : mildly suggestive at like. one part, patrick parker mention!

| word count : 756

| note : lowk a song fic. i wrote this in the middle of the night after sobbing my eyes out, so. hope you enjoy ! unedited, not proofread !

under the cover of night, you await his presence. your face illuminated by the harsh light of your phone as you mindlessly scroll, laid on your stomach cuddled up against your pillow. you had been waiting hours for a visit that wasn’t even guaranteed, eyes struggling to remain open and yet you held up.

he will come. surely, he misses you as you miss him.

your room was shrouded in darkness, the thick clouds preventing even the moon from shining her silvery rays through your window. it was cool, too; the chill of november seeping in through the old, weary walls, the only warmth coming from your body, heating the one spot on the bed that you hadn’t moved from since you got out of the shower.

you have already proven yourself to him; you thought so, anyway. his mind games, his puzzles, his riddles, his little tests of loyalty… you had done it all perfectly, hadn’t you? why does he insist on—

tap tap tap

oh.

to quell your excitement, you stayed in bed, merely glancing back at the window. it was unlocked — he knew that. you supposed knocking was just a polite pleasantry, which you found mildly humorous. you waved him in, and he followed suit, allowing the biting wind to slice through the otherwise still air of your bedroom, but only for a moment.

“i didn’t think you’d be awake.” he spoke, his smooth, albeit muffled, voice was a welcomed change to the drowning silence that swallowed your whole apartment.

tu pure, o principessa, nella tua fredda stanza

“i was waiting for you.” you murmur, sitting up and tossing your phone somewhere by your pillow. he shifted uncomfortably at that.

guardi le stelle che tremano d'amore, e di speranza

you slide out of bed, falling into his arms, fitting perfectly. his jacket was cold, as was the leather of his mask as you press your lips against it, eyes fluttering shut and hands holding his face against yours. his glasses bump against the edge of your cheek.

“how about tonight, eddie?” you ask, readjusting his glasses as his hands fall to your hips; you can hear him breathing.

he tenses. he doesn’t even have to say anything before you know his answer.

“you know me, angel.” he says. he’s been saying this for weeks. ever since you first asked to see him. who he was behind his ‘true skin.’ his gloved hand rests against the side of your neck, averting his gaze to focus on playing with your hair, trying to avoid this subject altogether.

another one of his riddles, then.

“if you can tell me who i am, i’ll take it off.”

ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me; il nome mio nessun saprà

“i don’t want to play this game with you, edward. i’ll never sleep soundly again until i know. i love you.”

there was nothing that hurt him more than those three little words, you knew that. in the palm of your hand you held the Riddler’s greatest weakness, and he hated you for it.

if he didn’t love you, too, he’d have your head for all the power you dare have over him.

“i…” his eyes find yours, his stomach twisting. “if you can tell me who i am, i’ll take it off.”

il nome suo nessun saprà, e noi dovrem, ahimè, morir, morir

you wake up alone the next morning, your clothes still strewn across your bedroom floor. the spot next to you is cold; he’s been gone for a while — there was no trace of him. as if he was never here.

“morning, patrick.” you greet your neighbour as you exit your apartment. he was leaving for work; possibly the only one in your building who worked as early as you.

“m-morning.” he nods, mumbling, his glasses sliding down the curve of his nose.

he was a cute man, and perhaps if you weren’t irrevocably in love with a terrorist, you’d ask him out for coffee.

“hope you have a good day. i’ll see you this evening, yeah?” you say as your turn to leave, stopping once you catch the way he perks up, eyes shining in a way you’d never seen from your timid neighbour.

“what?”

your face heats up in embarrassment, “no, sorry— i-i meant, like— if we catch each other after work.”

“oh.” he visibly deflated. despite how nice he is, patrick parker is a strange, strange man. “yeah. i’ll see you. this evening.”

dilegua, o notte! tramontate, stelle tramontate, stelle! all'alba, vincerò!

[farenmaddox]

tags from @greaseonmymouth:

#see dirk gently is for me what I wish the umbrella academy had been#I liked TUA ok but always felt something was missing like it wasn’t quite scratching an itch#well dirk gently is that itch#i should rewatch it#dirk gently

How does it feel to have the most correct opinions at all times? This is EXACTLY the problem with TUA!

rewatched half of dirk gently's holistic detective agency with a friend last night it's literally soooo good it's such a shame no one's watched it. big fan of manic pixie dream guy psychic detectives who escaped from a secret government facility, elijah wood playing the most confused pathetic man alive, punk girls with disabilities and the energy vampires who help her with it, bodyguards with way too much anxiety 5 seconds away from a breakdown, kitten sharks, assassins who are practically immortal whose targets are dictated by the universe itself and their sopping wet cat of a boyfriend who's secretly a criminal mastermind, ex rockstars body swapping rich girls with dogs, and shapeshifters who almost exclusively shapeshift into inanimate objects