#tsundere Lae'zel

[randomfanner]

May as well paste my own Tav works here as well.

This is my Tav, Anya and Lae'zel's friendship. Or the beginnings of their relationship. Depending on how you want to view it in this particular fic.

Anya is trying to learn how to get better at the sword by trying to copy Lae'zel, she is... failing but Lae'zel has to appreciate the wisdom in trying to copy her, so she shall grant Anya the pity of teaching her, without the threat of getting her throat slit, again this is ONLY out of pity.

[rahuratna]

Synopsis: Scenarios in which you find out just how ... ticklish some of your companions are.

Featuring: Wyll, Shadowheart, Gale, Astarion and Lae'zel.

Genres: Humour, fluff, crack.

Slight Tav/Shadowheart and Tav/Astarion. Tav is a menace.

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

(Readers, have some mindless fluff. Work has broken my mind and this is all I can write.)

Wyll: The Crab

The moment he'd emerged from his tent that morning, Gale had surveyed the clear skies, the promise of truly spectacular weather, and declared that today would be the day for cooking up a batch of fresh catch.

So it was that you had found yourself at the docks, strolling past hawkers displaying rows and rows of tempting sea harvest. From beneath the canvas awnings, scales and fins of fish gleamed, empty eyes turned skyward, bellies sliced open to display the pure white flesh underneath.

At your side, Wyll paced along, arms swinging slightly, a faint smile on his face as he took in the familiar sights and scents. He had volunteered to accompany you, to help carry the load of produce that you would inevitably purchase.

Rounding the corner, your fingers closed on his arm, tugging excitedly.

"Oh, it's been a while since I've seen deep sea emerald crab! And just look at how perfect they are!"

Piled high in a basin, the shells of the crabs shone with jewel-like lustre. In no time, taking advantage of this rare opportunity, you had paid off the fishmonger and your precious cargo of crab had been safely enclosed and tied up in netting.

"Here."

You handed over the bag to Wyll.

"Hold that. I'll look around for some mussels and sea bream. Can't have a feast without those."

Wyll took the bag, but you noticed his slight reluctance. Cocking an eyebrow, you received his hasty acknowledgement.

"Oh, no problem. You go on ahead."

Strutting further down the walkway, you shot a brief glance back at Wyll. He was holding the bad of crabs at arms length, obviously trying to be subtle.

What was that all about?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sight of some large scallops, of stunning quality, and you promptly forgot about Wyll's strange aversion to crabs.

A half hour later, you were happily making your way back to camp, pack laden with more goods, when you heard a strange noise from Wyll. Turning, you saw that he'd been forced to carry the crabs tucked under an arm, his shoulders occupied with the other baskets.

"Everything all right?"

"Oh, yeah. Everything's fine."

"Then what - "

Before you managed to complete your sentence, Wyll let out an explosive wheeze. He doubled over abruptly and you dropped your pack in concern as you hurried over to him.

"Wyll!"

He raised a hand, palm out, stopping your advance.

"N - Nothing to wo - worry 'bout, I - I assure- "

Another sudden explosive breath, his hands tugging the crabs away from him. It was then that you noticed that the legs of the crustaceans were still moving, in slightly jerky fashion. They weren't alive, some remnant of muscle memory causing their strange dance.

And it seemed that Wyll could not handle the sensation of it along his stomach.

You paused, a slow grin forming.

"Wait, are you - "

"N - Not what you think - "

Your hand came to rest on your chin.

"Oh, but Wyll, I rather think it is."

"C - Can you not - "

"Tell the others that a crab tickled your fancy? If you compensate me enough, I might be tempted."

He gazed up at you, something like defeat in his expression as your smile grew wider.

"H - Horns don't make a devil, it seems."

Shadowheart: Cliffhangers

There was a specific kind of enemy that grated on your nerves more than any other; the flying kind.

Butterflies and brightly feathered birds were all well and good, but summoned mud mephits and their greasy counterparts were deserving of a special place in Avernus as far as you were concerned.

Such were the thoughts cluttering your mind as you clung to the side of a cliff, the path that had wound along its edge now narrowing to little more than a foot-span.

You'd managed to use your arrows as makeshift climbing spikes, the muscles of your shoulders screaming in protest each time you stabbed a steel head into the rock, clinging on for dear life. The flapping and constant harassment of the mephits just made things exponentially worse.

Edging your way forward, you managed to turn your head slightly to see how Shadowheart was faring. She had slipped and lost a shoe a few yards back, the unfortunate item tumbling all the way down to the foam-clad rocks that jutted from the sea below. A terrifying sight indeed.

Just when you thought that things couldn't possibly get any worse, the terrain of the narrow ledge beneath your feet took on a different texture. Glancing down, you paused and let out a groan.

"What? What is it?" came Shadowheart's tight query. It sounded as if her teeth had been ground to dust from all the tension.

"Just watch your footing here. There's some kind of sentient moss. It's... wavy. Looks a bit slippery."

Shadowheart muttered something that was carried away by the wind and the flapping of the mud mephits. You knew your warning had been heard, so you continued edging your way forward. The moss was soft beneath the soles of your boots, giving way and then springing back up as you passed. Fortunately, it wasn't excessively damp.

As you edged forward, lips moving in a chant designed to keep your concentration, you heard a low noise come from Shadowheart, something like a soft squeal of protest. Whipping your head around, you saw that her eyes were squeezed shut, mouth puckered and trembling.

"What's wrong? Shadowheart?"

She didn't reply, but remained stationary, panic now evident on her face. Her whole body gave a spasmodic twitch.

"Hey!"

You grabbed her arm before she slipped, dragging her toward you. As her bare foot passed over the wavy moss she let out a decidedly high pitched shriek, the kind you'd never heard from her before.

"Wait, wait, not the moss!"

"What?"

"It's ... under my feet! It's squiggly and moving!"

There, on the side of the cliff, with the unappealing prospect of tumbling to your death on the rocks below, you were faced with the sudden, disjointed reality that Shadowheart's ticklish feet might kill you both.

Your blank expression jarred something in her. She stared defiantly back, cheeks now steaming scarlet, eyes flashing in embarrassment. It was ... terribly cute.

Her voice emerged in a hiss.

"Don't you dare judge me."

"I'm not - "

"Look, if I don't get off this moss, I'm going to fall. There's no two ways about it."

"Uh, all right. So ... what can we - "

You paused to swat away a mephit, and you could tell that she was bracing herself for what she had to say next.

"Carry me."

"What?"

"On your back. If we maneuver, we can do it. I'll keep the mephits away. You focus on moving."

"Easier said than done!"

"Not when the alternative is dying. Now hurry up, I - I can't stand here much longer."

Somehow, you both managed to move into the required position. It was precarious going. Shadowheart managed to grip the ridges of the cliff, briefly lifting herself while you stooped slightly. Muscles quivering with exertion, you raised her and her knees sunk tightly into your sides. You immediately clutched at the cliff again, breathing ragged.

Slow as your progress was, you finally made it to the end, where the narrow shelf widened and rejoined the top of the cliff path.

Here, you collapsed, Shadowheart springing nimbly from your shoulders. You were both drenched in sweat and she was avoiding your gaze.

"Some climb, huh?"

"Oh, shut up," she snapped. She paused, tone softening considerably.

"And thanks."

"You won't be thanking me when I tell the tale tonight around a roaring campfire."

She groaned and covered her face with her palms.

"What do you want?"

"A massage for my very sore shoulders. And new arrows. These have been blunted beyond recognition."

"Ugh. Done."

Gale: Laughter most hideous

The battle had been short, but vicious. While you'd managed to overpower the cultists rather quickly, their rapid movements and knack for disappearing and reappearing in strategic places had run your team ragged.

One particular cultist seemed to have an entire library of scrolls shoved down his trousers, because the barrage of irritating cantrips had been near constant. Apparently, wearing your opponent down with utter triviality was an accepted strategy.

Gale, of course, had dealt with the majority of your magical defenses, his shields as powerful and reliable as ever. Even he, however, hadn't been able to prevent every attack from striking true. A few negligible energy missiles had made their way through, and he'd been hit by a spell of Hideous Laughter.

While he'd waved away the spell's effects with an almost lazy brush of the hand, you were now noticing odd motions from him as you climbed your way out of the sewers. He twitched every so often, and moved his shoulders up and down with an odd stiffness.

You weren't the only one who noticed. In her usual brusque manner, Lae'zel brought the matter up.

"Has a slime crawled into your robes, wizard?"

"Ah, no. No. Nothing like that. Just a little ... "

He shrugged again, face contorting.

Lae'zel brandished her sword.

"I can beat it out of your clothes if you like."

"That won't be necessary, I assure you."

"Maybe he's picked up an infection," came Astarion's drawl from the rear. "The kind that leaves crusts in your underwear. Hang around in sewers long enough and it's bound to happen."

"No, Astarion, it isn't that either. It's - "

You frowned as Gale cut off, a chagrined set to his mouth.

"Look, it was that scroll. The one of Hideous Laughter. It ... can't affect me in quite the same way as others. I have a natural resistance. But it has ... residual effects. In hard to reach places. Like my back."

You spread your hands.

"Oh, well that's ... something we can deal with right?"

"Well ... if someone would be so kind as to lend me some kind of implement with which to scratch that itch, I - "

Lae'zel waved her sword again.

"No, Lae'zel, not that - "

Astarion came forward and slapped something into your palm, his smile made devilish by the dim lighting of the cistern.

"What say we take care of our wizard?"

You glanced down and saw that he'd handed you one of his gloves, the fingers narrowed to fine points to assist with the precision of his lockpicking. Unanimously, you both turned to Gale and advanced on him.

Now looking rather nervous, your resident wizard raised his hands.

"Now hold on, you two, what are you - "

"Relax, Gale. We're here to help."

Lae'zel snorted.

"This should be interesting."

Astarion grasped Gale's shoulders and spun him around, facing away from you. You fitted Astarion's glove onto your hand and you both turned Gale's robe up, exposing the bare skin of his back above his trousers.

"Uh, I'll have you both know that my skin is rather sensitive there - Oh Gods!"

The last part emerged as a yelp as two hands clad in the designated back scratchers dragged down either side of his spine. Astarion's grin was now positively toothsome, canines glinting in the gloom.

"Why, what delightful sounds you make, Gale. I'd never have known - "

"Stop, stop, hold on - "

You punctuated Gale's protest with a downward motion of your own hand and he jumped slightly.

"As satisfying as this is - "

"I thought your back was unbearably itchy?"

"It is! I'm just ... it's ticklish, you imbeciles!"

Astarion raised a hand to his mouth in mock surprise.

"Ticklish? You? The mighty wizard?"

"Well, being in possession of a normal, functioning body makes me ticklish in certain ... areas, so yes!"

You frowned and considered this key piece of information.

"He has a normal human body, Astarion."

"Oh, that's very clear, from his ... precious little reactions."

"I say we continue with his treatment then."

"I concur, my sweet sewer conquerer."

"Now just a minute - "

Gale was soon rendered helpless beneath the co-ordinated motion of your fingers, laughter escaping him in short bursts, his form squirming and writhing in your grasp. In spite of his struggles, you managed to firmly take on the itch that had lodged itself there, soon dissipating under the rigorous scratching you gave him.

When you'd emerged from the sewers, both you and Astarion looked particularly smug, Gale's disshevelled clothes and hair, along with his embarrassed expression, attracting a few stares from passers-by.

You were fully aware, through all of this, that he could have worked the Weave to push you away at any time.

A thought to store away, it seemed.

Astarion: All pointy ears

"Well, isn't this comfortable."

The sensual purr of Astarion's voice in no way countered the situation you were both currently in. You let out a low growl and he tutted.

"Now, now. No need to be grumpy, sweetheart. After all, wouldn't you rather be tied up with me than any of our other companions?"

And tied up you were. Being the stealthier members of your group, you'd taken it upon yourselves to raid the vault of a local weapons dealer, happening upon a beautifully loaded safe that Astarion had managed to crack.

Right before you'd been caught, that is.

You were not sure how they'd managed to get the jump on you. Astarion's sensitive sense of smell had detected a whiff of sulphur, a mark of demonic infestation. It was entirely possible that the dealer had managed to wrangle some kind of security contract with a contact in Avernus that alerted him whenever the safe was tampered with.

Either way, you'd both been restrained with some expert knots, tied together back to back on a pair of chairs and left to rot until the dealer returned with his 'information specialists'. A coy term for torture and interrogation personnel, no doubt.

With the number of crossbows trained on you, there had been no question of a flashy escape. The room was too brightly lit for Astarion's shadow-based techniques to be of much use.

So, here you both were; languishing in the lower levels of the enemy base, wrists and ankles growing increasingly numb due to the tight knots. Well, at least your circulation was an issue. You weren't sure if vampires suffered from the same setbacks.

Letting out a heavy sigh, you leaned back.

"Any brilliant ideas on how we can get out of this mess?"

"Hmm."

You felt his body shift behind you, the rope creaking as he tested the knots. There was a moment of silence before Astarion spoke again, his tone a touch more plaintive this time.

"Well. They've certainly gone to town with these damnable knots."

"You don't think we can loosen them?"

More silence. Unusual.

"Astarion?"

He let out a put-upon sigh.

"There is a way ... not that I prefer it. But I've done it before when I've been in a ... sticky situation."

"And what's that?"

"I ... gnaw through the ropes."

Despite the situation, your snort of laughter was explosively loud in the small room.

"Gnaw? Like a rabbit?"

"I'd prefer not to be referred to as such, thank you," came his acidic reply.

"Fair enough."

You hastily stifled your amusement before Astarion decided to nibble through his own restraints and leave you behind. Instead, you addressed the more pertinent issue; your backs were tied to the chairs and maneuvering would be very difficult.

"So, how are you going to get your head on level with the rope?"

"I've thought of something. You still have the scabbard of your sword at your belt, correct?"

"Yes?"

"If you manage to hook it into my ropes, and I move from side to side, I can get the ropes to lift upwards and over my head. Then I bite through the ones on my wrist."

"Hmm. That ... might just work. Hold on, let me ... "

Pressing down with your elbow, you angled the empty scabbard still strapped to your waist. The edges were hard steel, not sharp, but using your body weight for leverage, it would be firm enough to enact the scenario that Astarion had envisioned.

"All right, I'm moving the scabbard towards you now."

He shifted again, pressing closer to you on one side. Using your thigh and elbow, muscles twisting awkwardly, you pushed the scabbard slowly towards him. You felt the resistance as it prodded between the ropes that bound him to the chair.

"Almost ... got it ... almost ... ha!"

You gave a soft triumphant shout as it slid home. Astarion murmured in encouragement before beginning his slow movement from side to side, careful not to unbalance either of your chairs.

Bit by bit, the ropes slid down, time passing inexorably as he inched his way through the bindings. You could feel his body slide downwards, his head descending as he lossened the ropes steadily against the firm anchor of the scabbard.

It pulled free a few times and Astarion groaned theatrically and made a jest about the 'tip slipping out', much to your annoyance.

All things considered, your escape attempt was going swimmingly, until it was time for his head to slide through the rope. The cloth upper of the scabbard, now fraying at the edges, caught on his ear.

Astarion let out a sound somewhere between a gasp and a giggle.

"Ah! Oh my."

"What? Did you hurt yourself?"

"No. I mean, yes, there's some rope burn, but nothing I haven't experienced before."

"So ... what was that?"

"Nothing."

It certainly wasn't nothing. As you helped him shimmy through the ropes, a series of hiccuping breaths, stifled shrieks and sounds of barely contained hilarity reached your ears.

"Astarion. Do you want to tell me what the fuck is going on back there?"

"My apologies, d - darling, it's just ... the threads on y - your scabbard are in my ear and - ah!"

Another bout of hissing and snorts.

"Oh, why, that's ... p - positively ... positively ... ticklish - eeeh!"

Gods, you were going to absolutely murder this unhinged man.

Gritting your teeth, you held firm as he finally made his way out, fangs immediately going to work on the ropes that bound his wrists. Once you were both free, you slowly made your way from the bowels of the enemy hideout, Astarion's lockpicking skills once again proving useful.

He was skilled, you'd give him that, even with all of his ... unique foibles.

With his pick in the final lock, he shot you a sly glance.

"Well? I don't see you mentioning my little weakness."

The delicate point of one of his ears twitched mockingly. You raised an eyebrow.

"Do you want me to mention it?"

"Oh, you're no fun."

He leaned towards you, a slow, seductive smile curling his lips, hands still busy with the lock even though his eyes weren't.

Show off.

"Go on, tweak my ear. I know you want to."

"Astarion, now isn't the time for - "

"Just do it. For luck."

"Oh, for the love of - "

Reaching up, you pinched his lobe delicately. He let out a noise that wouldn't have sounded out of place in an erotic theatre production. From nearby, you heard the shift of boots on a wooden floor. One of the dealer's gang called out.

"Oi, did you hear that?"

You shook Astarion wildly.

"Get us the fuck out of here you - "

The final tumbler of the lock clicked into place and you both fled into the streets, the sound of Astarion's low cackle ghosting through the evening air.

Lae'zel: Gith psionics

Lae'zel's eyes shone in the gloom, one hand raised: a signal. In the forest clearing before you, your quarry had slowed, pausing to scent the air.

A large deer, enough to feed the camp for a week.

There was a bounty of smaller game within these woods, but Lae'zel had insisted on finding the best possible prey.

Raising your bow at her signal, you let fly an arrow. It struck true, taking the animal in the neck. The deer went down and Lae'zel smirked.

"Good strike."

"Indeed, if I may say so myself."

You straightened and pulled your pack from your shoulders, ready to prepare for carrying the deer back to camp. Voices from further within the trees interrupted you, Lae'zel instantly on high alert.

Three individuals appeared in the clearing, each carrying a rather lethal-looking bow and hunting knives. They stopped in a ring around the dead deer, their posture arrogant and territorial. The leader, a half elf with dark hair cut short, raised her chin in challenge.

"What's this? You trying to make off with our kill?"

Lae'zel growled and you paused, assessing the situation rapidly.

Oh, you knew full well what this was. Closer to larger settlements, hunting rackets such as this one were bound to spring up. They appeared as if by magic whenever someone else got lucky, intimidating other hunters into leaving their choice kills behind.

Adopting a subservient smile, you stepped forward, hands raised and empty as a show of non-aggression. They did not lower their guard, but you did notice that their eyes were fixed on Lae'zel more than you. She obviously registered as the larger threat. You cleared your throat.

"Now, there's no need for unpleasantness. That's a big deer. We can always share - "

"The kill goes to us. We took it down. That's my arrow."

The half-elf's tone was snappish, brooking no argument. You shrunk inward at her rebuke.

"But, please, if we could just - "

In the moment she took her eyes from you, no longer considering you any danger, you moved. Your arrow was nocked and released faster than any of them had a chance to react, lodging deep in her neck.

There was a brief moment where the other two remained frozen, even as their leader sank to her knees, crimson bubbling from her torn throat. In that instant, Lae'zel was among them, sword flashing once, twice.

They dropped like flies.

Lowering your bow, you blew out a breath.

"Well. Looks like their temporary reign in these woods is over."

Lae'zel snorted.

"And good riddance. How pathetic."

"Indeed - oh! Look!"

Scrambling forward, you examined the leather armour the half-elf leader was wearing.

"Gods, they don't make hunting gear like this anymore. Probably stolen. I'm taking this. This is amazing quality."

Your companion shrugged, cleaning her blade.

"The spoils of war go to the victor. You've won it fair and square."

Now, however, you were faced with a different dilemma. The weight of the deer would be difficult to bear along with the dead bandit's armour. You asked Lae'zel if she could wear the armour over her own, temporarily, while you both carried the deer back to camp. She agreed, if rather tersely.

The deer strung up on a sturdy branch you'd whittled for the purpose, carried between your shoulders, you made the trek back through the trees.

It was then that you noticed Lae'zel's odd movements. The leather armour she wore over hers was comprised of a number of interconnected strips, some of which formed a wavy collar. This seemed to bring her some kind of discomfort, because she kept shifting and tugging at the armour, cursing softly under her breath.

"Lae'zel? Is everything all right?"

"Of course."

She brushed off your queries with her customary shortness, but you could see how uncomfortable she was. An idea, half-formed, sprung into your mind.

Surely ... surely she wasn't-

Time to test a hypothesis, so to speak.

You 'accidentally' stumbled, brushing your hand over the collar. Lae'zel gave a start of surprise, before glaring over her shoulder at you.

"Watch it."

Well now. Wasn't this interesting.

It seemed that the back of Lae'zel's neck was particularly sensitive. You couldn't help but wonder just how much sensitivity was contained in that area. Perhaps more testing was required.

It would certainly be useful to know for your in-camp sparring sessions which inevitably ended with you bent over Lae'zel's knee, or with your face in the dirt.

Teasing some of the feathered fletching from one of your arrows, you raised it delicately, touch as light as an evening breeze. You brought it slowly towards the targeted zone, right beneath where her braids shifted and parted, holding your breath.

As soon as the feather made contact, the world seemed to shift around you. The deer on your shoulder was suddenly a dead weight, dragging you to the ground, you feet slipping and sliding for purchase before you went down. Raising yourself on your elbows, you looked around, bewildered.

Lae'zel had ... disappeared.

"Lae'zel?" you shouted.

What on earth?

Standing, you brushed mud from your knees. She was simply ... gone. There was no sign of her anywhere.

Turning frantically on the spot, a noise in the foliage above caught your attention. Head snapping up, you beheld quite the sight.

In the highest branches of the tree beside you, Lae'zel crouched, furiously swatting at her neck. It seemed that your experiment had worked beyond your wildest dreams. The ticklish sensation against her neck had caused her gith psionics to kick in.

Clearing your throat, you adopted a confused stance.

"What on earth are you doing up there?"

She stopped her movements abruptly, the realisation of what she'd done reflected in the widening of her eyes. Her gaze flicked between her hand and you, obviously choosing her words carefully.

"Hmm. I was just ... I heard something up ahead. Possibly more ... bandits. Yes. I came up here to ... check the area."

You waved exasperatedly at the deer.

"Well, fine, but maybe give me a warning next time?"

She slid down and dropped back to the ground, not entirely meeting your querying gaze. Her mouth pulled into a sour line.

"Hmph. Well, maybe get stronger and you won't buckle under the weight of one animal."

Needless to say, you refrained from any further 'experimentation' on the way back to camp. Lae'zel insisted that you wore the armour for the latter part of the journey.

Still in the rear, you allowed your devious grin to re-appear. Sparring sessions would be much more satisfying from here on out.

[coolspacequips]

I think not being able to be poly with Karlach and Lae'zel makes NO damn sense, Lae'zel my character is in a sapphic situationship w you and the gayest thing you've ever said to them was ABOUT MEETING KARLACH we ALL HAVE TWO HANDS Y'KNOW--

[fluffle-writes]

My brain keeps coming up with crossovers like Lilia with food combos

[nails-teeth-neck]

friendship ended with lae'zel, barcus wroot is now my best friend

[rideroftherange]

Back in my day, we called that a Tsundere.

Lae’zel’s romance arc is literally everything like it’s a one night stand. It’s a two night stand but she pretends she isn’t dying to be with you again. She’s a domme. She’s a bottom. She doesn’t believe in love and doesn’t like to cuddle. She thinks you’re weak for showing interest in her. She thinks she’s weak because she can’t stop thinking about you. She wakes you up in the middle of the night and makes you duel her because she doesn’t know what else to do about being obsessed with you. She cries and confesses her devotion to you if you win. She cries and confesses her devotion to you if you lose. She will tell everyone about your sexual exploits without shame. She’s embarrassed if you try to kiss her in public. She growls at you if you stop kissing her public. She is extremely possessive of you. She wants you to be as extremely possessive of her and is the most visibly heart broken if you cheat on her. She takes half the game building up the courage to ask you to cuddle. She changes her entire perception of the world because you showed her to was ok to approach things differently. She gives you multiple terms of endearment. She’s terrified that your relationship will end after all of this is over. The climax of her romance is holding her hand.

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Baldur's Gate 3 Companion Romances in a nutshell because I've been playing the game and I have brain rot

Karlach: Haha, if we focus on how much we love each other the sense of impending doom might go away what inevitable tragic ending kiss me again lover!

Minthara: Help! She's breaking me faster than I can fix her!

Astarion: Hey baby, lemme just get close to you so you'll never let me get hurt, you're such a useful pawn wait a minute what the fuck no I wasn't SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY LIKE YOU WHAT-

Gale: Protecting your cringefail boyfriend from his abusive ex.

Lae'zel: A tsundere who will actually fucking kill you, now with cult deprogramming.

Shadowheart: Enemies to friends to lovers, now with cult deprogramming.

Wyll: Protecting your cringefail boyfriend from his predatory business contract.

Halsin: Hippie Johnny Bravo.

[sketch-guardian]

FUNNY IDEA!!

Rad and Angel classmates training with Mc and Mc absolutely rocking their shit on accident by giving them the most nasty and dirtiest left hook imaginable to the face like they get punched so hard them fall to the ground trying to process what the fuck just happened as they slowly process what happened and Mc stands above them with the most shocked face ever “😃😄😃” or “😮😯😲” like they knew they had a mean left hook but didn’t think it’d be THAT nasty like it’s deadass that one audio that goes “damn they really about to rock my shi-“ before the punch makes contact EVEN MORE FUNNY IF IT HAPPENS A SECOND TIME BUT THIS TIME ITS A NASTY ASS KICK TO THE GROUND LIKE THEYRE PREPARED FOR THE PUNCH BUT NOT THE KICK CAUSE ITS BASICALLY CANON HUMANS ARENT THST STRONG I THINK THEYD HAVE LIKE HAVE SOME MINOR COCKINESS NOT EXPECTING TO GET THEIR SHIT ROCKED🤣

(I’m so sorry for the word vomit😭)

I apologize for the sudden hiatus without a warning🙈but university have kept me busier than expected, between group projects and an exam, leaving me weary and with no energy to check Tumblr😭Today, I found some motivation and since I wanted to be fair, I finally replied to two requests I had in the ask box, although I still apologize for the awful delay����

After these, I think I will have take a break from writing for a bit, perhaps focusing on drawings again or only writing headcanons without deadlines when I have free time. I won't close the ask box, in case someone wanted to send comments on the OCs or small questions to which I can answer briefly, however the long headcanons will have to wait, maybe for the holidays😥I hope you can forgive me:

"RAD CLASSMATES+NEW EXCHANGE STUDENTS WITH A STRONG MC KICKING THEIR ASS ON ACCIDENT DURING TRAINING"

DEMYA

In Demya's culture, it was typical to fight to show one's strength and worthiness as a mate for life. So it wouldn't be strange for her to train with MC, in fact it would be equivalent to courting at the very least (imagine Lae'zel from BG3 for example-), although it would be more strenuous than the usual playful brawls with MC. Since MC is Demya's mate, she wouldn't underestimate them despite their human race, there's a reason why they're together after all, however Demya wouldn't be able to deny that she wasn't ready to receive such a punch straight to the face, enough to send her to the ground and maybe even make her lips bleed. At first Demya would be stunned by MC's brute strength, but then, licking the blood off her lips, she would grin widely and burst into laughter, in an almost hysterical manner, euphoric and maybe slightly excited at such discovery. Demya, dressed in a workout outfit consisting of a black sports bra and shorts, panting a little and perhaps accidentally drooling while smiling, would pin MC to the ground, exclaiming that it was awesome and that they should definitely do it again

DOMNRA/MOBIM

Domnra is all for working out and sports, so for once he would be thrilled to be able to share his hobby with MC, maybe even finding the opportunity to show off for once, whether it be through physical strength and muscles or fighting skills with his shadow powers, in his demon form he can also use his tail and a dagger made of magic. Domnra would wear a black tank top and dark purple sweatpants to train, his hair tied in a low ponytail. Domnra would attempt to refrain from doing so, however he couldn't help but underestimate MC's physical strength as a human at first, so he would try to take it easy on them, before getting completely humiliated by a punch to the face, enough to make him lose balance and hurt his already poor ego as well, he would need a few minutes to recover from the embarrassement. With tsundere hesitation, finding their powerful display slightly attractive, Domnra would admit that MC is stronger than he expected and that next time, he won't hold back. Mobim would be too worried to watch Domnra and MC training, so the little curse would discover about MC's strenght only later on

AZUL

Azul, despite being a rather active and eccentric demon, usually channels his energy into creative hobbies or partying, he isn't exactly the athletic type, evident from his twink figure. Azul floats around most of the time and often uses magic to avoid unnecessary efforts, so, being a bit weak on the physical side, it wouldn't surprise him to get easily destroyed by MC, despite their human nature. Azul wouldn't have appropriate clothes for training, as he never does, so he would either use his demon form outfit or buy something specifically for the occasion, something that would compliment his shape, maybe to tease MC and distract them. The first time Azul got hit in the face and knocked to the ground, it would shock him greatly, leaving him dumbfounded with a hand on his cheek and his colors changing to grey, before turning pink as he sees MC on top of him, worried for his conditions. Azul would joke that they were pretty rough and that next time they could at least buy him dinner first or kiss his boo-boo, a comment that would earn him another shove. Being a bit of a masochist as well as sadist, Azul wouldn't be too upset and as a revenge next time he would use his ghost like powers to phase through MC

ZURI

Zuri doesn't train often, but as in many other activities, she would be skilled in physical exercise too, elegant and flawless even in battle, performing piercing blows with her weapon, able to fight even without it of course. Zuri's training clothing would consist of her casual outfit, only without her white jacket, which would leave her with long black gloves and a tight sleeveless turtleneck sweater, she would look quite badass, especially since she would fight with her high-heeled boots without any difficulty. Zuri wouldn't understand why MC would want to train with her when there are more suitable people, maybe even less aloof and cold than her, however she would gladly accept, since it was still a request from her beloved. Zuri would sense MC's hidden power, so although initially taken by surprise, which is rare, she would fall to her knees after the punch but not flinch, wiping any blood or smudged makeup from her face or feeling for bruises, swellings, which would heal quickly anyway due to her demon nature. Zuri would eventually smirk faintly, showing her fangs, and mutter that she is glad to know that MC has other means to defend themself besides magic

ODON

Not sure why MC thought it could be a good idea to ask an eldritch horror, for whom a mere glance would be enough to erase MC from existence, to help them with their workouts, especially because physically speaking, Odon doesn't need to train to be strong or resilient, they don't even feel much pain, at most sometimes they just get weary when they shapeshift, on one occasion a creature even tore off their arm once and Odon didn't even flinch, they simply waited for it to grow back (fun fact: Odon has green blood). Odon is aware that if they used their strength seriously, MC would turn to dust and they don't want to hurt their dear friend, so Odon's role would basically be that of a dummy, keeping their casual clothes. Odon would perceive MC's extraordinary power thanks to their perception skills, so they wouldn't be surprised, the eldritch horror would just find the situation peculiar, almost amusing. It would be like unstoppable force vs immovable object, basically Odon wouldn't move an inch despite the punch, they would chuckle and compliment MC on their strength

REMIEL

Oh god, even if accidental, why would MC do such a thing to an innocent angel like Remiel during training? MC would also have to pray that Death, Remiel's father, never finds out about them punching his daughter, because the grim reaper might come visit MC prematurely. Remiel seems weak and frail in appearance, almost like a porcelain doll, however she's still an angel of death, the archangel of hope, daughter of Death and Azrael, so she is actually pretty powerful, enough to beat even Uriel and Nathaniel. Remiel would have no specific set of clothing to train in, owning only her black robe, and although confused by MC's request, she would try to support them, minding her strength. She would be baffled by MC's punch, however she would manage not to fall to the ground and only take a few steps back, turning her face from the blow and brushing her cheek with curiosity, while MC would feel like the worst being in all realms. Remiel would ask MC a lot of questions, to find out if they are aware of the origin or source of their power and if not, she would do some research through books. Remiel wouldn't be hurt over being hit, because from a logical point of view, it was just training

NATHANIEL

Nathaniel is a rather quiet angel and he's a sort of scribe for duty, however when he dedicates himself to meditation, a bit like a sort of monk, sometimes he also trains with archery or martial arts, in fact despite being slim, Nathaniel is still faintly toned, accentuated by his training attire, namely a sleeveless gray and light blue robe, pants of the same color, furthermore he would keep his hair tied in a ponytail, with a blue bow given to him by Luke, as a scrunchie. Nathaniel would accept MC's request to train together, planning a training program suited for MC's abilities, so as not to exhaust them too much, the archangel of patience would also make sure to warm them up first and have them meditate as well. Surprising Nathaniel isn't easy, so MC should pat themself on the back for having shocked the archangel, sending him to the ground with a blow to the face. Nathaniel would grab his jaw, stroking it lightly, still surprised by the punch, however he would be quietly pleased by the novelty, finding the twist very interesting. Nathaniel would let out an amused scoff and take the situation more seriously, no longer underestimating MC and inviting them to continue training, with his hair subtly disheveled, swaying in the breeze (Nathaniel looks better when he's at ease)

URIEL

Uriel, as a warrior angel, believes that it's right to train daily and that it's her duty to make sure she's always in perfect shape, ready to face any battle, given her position as the archangel of justice. Usually Uriel would train in the warrior angels' quarters, with other angels or dummies, always wearing her armor, in fact she rarely gets rid of it. Uriel would be enthusiastic over MC's request and would gladly accept, feeling honored to have been chosen, being the most suitable angel to practice with for such a regimen of physical exercise. Uriel would probably underestimate MC as a human and attempt not to let her enthusiasm get the better of her strength, she would try to hold back in order to avoid hurting MC. Her four wings would ruffle up after falling to the ground due to the punch, staring at MC in disbelief. At first, Uriel's pride would be shattered, because she got humiliated by a human, however her affection for MC would soon win and she would praise them, comparing them to a warrior angel and immediately thinking of other ways to test their strength, a startling discovery for sure, in fact Uriel would want an explanation for it as well. Uriel would make MC demonstrate their strength on several occasions, secretly finding them attractive, much to her embarrassment

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Tav: Pfft, you should meet Lae'zel, she's such a tsundere.

Gale: She...she just stabbed you.

Tav: So cute.

[amechyofsorts]

Had to break it off with Karlach to romance Lae'zel. Sorry Karlach, you're very cool, but this tsundere banana peel has captured my heart. My love for mean girls is too strong.

[thefloatingstone]

Question, so far in BG3 what do you think about each companion and who is your favorite ? Personally, like many, I pick Karlach !

I like the companions but I am still figuring them out (which is funny considering I have 50 hours into the game which is longer than the entirety of Mass Effect 1).

Lae'zel - Completely out of her depth culturally but at this point unaware of it. Very black and white in her thinking regard right and wrong... and yet surprisingly VERY quick to move someone from the "wrong" side in her head over to the "right" side. I was shocked by how she instantly liked Karlach the second Karlach explained her situation to us, and had 0 problem in immediately being like "this is a good one." despite her history. Thinks she's big and tough but is actually just a tsundere. Reminds me of Worf.

Gale - shockingly quick to latch on and trust people. To a degree that suggests he's a little bit desperate for affection. However it's not manipulative or anything, it's very genuine. He just trusts too quickly and will drink up any positive interaction like a man dying of thirst. possible praise kink.

Astarion - Like I said in the other post; essentially a cat that's been mistreated its whole life and will now swat and hiss at anyone trying to be nice to him simply out of fear. Constantly afraid but is hiding it behind sass or bitching. Only member left in the team who is still stuck on neutral in terms of relationship with Tav. Is constantly annoyed with me for being nice to the broken the beaten and the damned. Almost certainly because his experiences have taught him if you're not powerful you will be abused by those who are and it's upsetting to see someone who doesn't follow this internal logic of his. Needs a hug and a hot chocolate.

Wyll - Guy of all time. But he does come with hot demon mommy so that's a plus.

Shadowheart - obviously grew up a spoiled little princess by people who are actively grooming her for some fucked up religious role and have been telling her for her whole life that it's TOTALLY awesome and TOTALLY special and that she's TOTALLY special for being trained for it when really they're just brainwashing her into thinking getting used and and forced into something without her consent is something she actually wants and she should be proud of it. She hasn't figured this out yet tho and mostly still has amnesia about it which is 100% just more grooming. For some reason unlike my friend who found her insufferable and bratty, she's been very nice to me. Sucks to use in a fight tho.

Karlach - Ray of fucking sunshine. Somehow both the mom friend AND the little sister friend. Most purehearted member of the whole lot. Has the ADHD experience of literally vibrating in place but getting told by the entire world to "calm down" and "sit still". Uncomplicated but not in a bad way. Nothing but good vibes all the time. Has never had a bad thought about anybody. Deserves the fucking world.

[paragonrobits]

thinking about people introduced to the githyanki (who even at their least horrible are still generally xenophobes that consider darwinism a moral imperative) through Balder's Gate 3 might react to meeting the githzerai through Planescape Torment, specifically via Dak'kon, since his introduction can be argued as a establishing character moment for his people as a whole as post-game their depictions took after his characterr

the githyanki are often cruel, xenophobic and hate everybody in general, with a prized warrior cult mentality. In contrast, the githzerai are generally monks (either in terms of class or personal outlook), prizing discipline, personal integrity and communal responsibility. The githyanki are often mean and vicious, while your first conversation with a githzerai involves a LOT of circular arguments to get him to explain just what the heck a githzerai IS before he flatly declares time itself will end multiple times over before he tells you his people's history, states that the most important part of life is to KNOW yourself and that there is little else to be prized in life, and engages in a philosophical argument whether a thing needs to be ordered and have a purpose to KNOW itself (in this case, a city).

Even their party members are apparent opposites. Lae'zel is an untested but loyal soldier that is rather open minded by her people's standards and tends to be a bit of a tsundere. Dak'kon is an old and once respected warrior-mage who is dealing with a crisis of faith and his guilt in that crisis causing many people to perish

[garmonboziart]

Lae'zel my precious tsundere girl with the silver sword of the astral plane

[yeetmeoutthewindowdaddy]

Quit messaging me with your fake sob stories asking for money, I will report and block you. I'm not sending money to a stranger over the internet. Using the tragedies of real people to scam for money is vile and you should be ashamed of yourselves. Fucking scumbags.

I'm over 21 and my blog isn't blank, please just let me devour your headcanons for my current fandom hyperfixation.

If you know me IRL, you don't. (Please never mention the contents of this blog to me or anyone else. This blog was supposed to be my anonymous shame blog.)

THIS BLOG IS NSFW/18+

This whole blog needs a spoiler warning.

I post almost exclusively about BG3.

I decided to throw some of my own ideas at the wall, if you would like to see what sticks my master list is under the cut. (It's a mix of shitposts, fanfictions, character analyses, lore breakdowns, headcanons, simping, and horny posting.)

I have a memory worse than a goldfish. I will reblog the same posts multiple times, sometimes multiple times a day an hour. 😥

If I've spammed your notifications by mass liking your posts.

(I don't really understand how tumblr works, and most of the time I'm using it through a web browser on my old/kind of shitty new and confusing phone.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Master list:

Characters are indexed in the order that I made posts about them in; with their respective posts listed from oldest to newest, top down.

A link with a * at the end is a link which has multiple instances on this list, but is under a (slightly) different name.

A link with a ^ at the end is a link which has multiple instances on this list under the same name.

A link with a 🔥 at the end contains smut or NSFW/18+ content.

DND:

Homebrew:

Homebrew tabaxi ability

Lore:

Elven naming conventions (ft. Halsin's name etymology)*

Everybody hates tieflings (ft. Zevlor)

Elturel's history and culture, the Hellriders (ft. Zevlor)

Where a tiefling's scent gland would be located

Deneir's dogma and cool IRL history

Tiefling lovers PSA

BG3:

Gale:

Playboy Gale

Gale has daddy issues updated

Gale cucked Gortash*

Gale has a large... vocabulary🔥

A Rose by any other name

Gale's hot wife

Zevlor:

Psychoanalyzing the characters I simp for

Shopping bags

"Cat" dad Zevlor

Science rat

Vein thirst post🔥

Caging Zevlor during his rut🔥

A deep dive into Zevlor's devotion series master list (incomplete)

Using Zevlor as a chew toy

Love is an open wound^

Grandpa is too strong

Zevlor's breeding kink, horse girl edition (NOT bestiality or pony play)🔥

What Zevlor once was

Scent glands🔥

A thirsty Zevlor ask that went angsty🔥

Gortash:

Monster fucker Gortash

The dark urge to simp for Gortash

Psychoanalyzing the characters I simp for (Part 2)

Durgetash Daddy Issues🔥

Gortash cucked by Gale*

Durgetash is drowning

How in the hell you spell chauffeur? (comic request)

Monster fucker lover Gortash ft. Ketheric

Gortash spoiles Durge

Durgetash intrigue

Astarion:

Worm love

NSFW fluffy Astarion HC🔥

A cursed thought that should've stayed in my head🔥

Sassy Astarion

Rolan:

Sibling bonding time

Rolan's name etymology

Tsundere Rolan master list🔥 (ongoing)

Sub Rolan🔥

Rolan's performance issues (Part 1)

Love is an open wound^

Rolan's Tav^🔥

How Rolan got his nickname

Rolan's puppy dog eyes

Rolan's nickname

Angst potential

Rolan's performance issues (Part 2)🔥

Rolan's lisp

Rolan's lisp headcanons🔥

Rolan and sorcerer Tav imagine

Wholesome Rolan lisp idea

Rolan mod request

Princess Bride AU

Throne thirst

Glow sticks

Halsin:

Halsin's name etymology, and Elven naming conventions*

Halsin can't catch a break

Halsin's in-game stats, how Larian did Halsin dirty

Multiple characters:

Ranking camp companions on their childrearing abilities (Astarion, Wyll, Halsin, Gale, Shadowheart, Lae'zel, Karlach, Minthara, Mizora, Withers, Volo, Jaheira, Minsc and Boo)

Troubleshooting a PC updated (Zevlor, Dammon, Rolan)

Accidental BG3 shitpost

Tav:

Rolan's Tav^🔥

Other shit:

An unfortunate side effect of being in the BG3 fandom🔥

Possible Geraldus IRL actors

A dress Lae'zel would tolerate wearing

A dress for Selunite Shadowheart

[nitewrighter]

If you play as any of the preset companion origins in BG3 who would you pick and who would you pair them up with? :0

Or alternatively who would you pair up amongst the BG3 companions? >:0c

Well, I'm really digging Lae'zel x Shadowheart--they're both so tsundere...

Wyll x Karlach is cute, too! So's Karlach and Shadowheart.

I have trouble shipping Astarion with anyone, if I'm being honest. Like, he does have that ~vampire charm~ but also I'm just looking at him like, "That is not a man, that is 47 sadistic coping mechanisms that have been draped over a very sad, shriveled, smeagol-like theater kid. Like, sure he can have sex in theory, but I think what he actually needs is to be wrapped in a towel." Like I know Gale and Astarion have been shipped together, but I feel like they're both so layered in secrecy and self-loathing and like 87 different methods of pushing people away and distracting them that it would be like trying to get two chatbots to talk to each other.

[blackjackkent]

What's your favorite character archetype?

Ooh, fun question. :D

There are definitely a lot of answers I could give for this but one kind of sticks out...

I don't really know what the term for it would be, if there is one. But the sort of character who is super tough/stoic/emotionally closed off but clearly has Really Strong Feelings underneath, strong emotional investment in a person or cause, etc.

It's not quite tsundere but it's somewhat in that vein I guess. IDK what to call it. :P

This would be why I like characters like Jaheira and Rasaad. (And Lae'zel.) Opinions may vary on this but I played Aria T'Loak very much this way in MERP as well. My OCs Jenna Shepard, Hector Carlisle, Lucas Colton, Aderyn Lavellan, and Elliot Hawke are very much in this vein.

Just generally, give me someone whose still waters run very deep and I am almost guaranteed to latch onto them. XD