#ts for urine

[heavencasteel420]

WIP Wednesday!

From Drive All Night:

Soon the lights dimmed and music from a single trumpet, warm and low, snaked throughout the room. A girl, maybe a couple years older than Nancy, stepped through the multicolored curtains. She had brown skin, a sweetly rounded face, and serious dark eyes ringed with kohl. Her dress was a simple, modestly cut midnight blue velvet, with absolutely adorable shoes to match. Nancy wondered how hard it would be to find sky blue pumps.  Then a butterfly, pink and luminescent, appeared in the girl’s hand, and Nancy forgot all about shopping.  “How?” she whispered to Heather, but the other girl just giggled. “A magician never reveals her secrets,” she said, gazing raptly at Kali.  More wonders followed: a swarm of butterflies, a flock of birds, a parade of dancing flowers. In vain, Nancy looked around for a film projector. Then she gave up, ordered a sidecar, and enjoyed the rest of the show.  Kali finished with a shower of light that rained down on her until it covered her body in shining golden scales. Then the lights went out. A split second later, they came on and she was gone. 

From Tonight, Tonight, The Highway's Bright:

Billy wasn’t in English class the following Monday, so Nancy offered to bring him the homework assignment for 1984. Mr. Lassiter smiled at her hesitantly and said it was nice of her. All the teachers were careful with her now; her transformation from goody-two-shoes bookworm to King Steve’s latest consort to screaming crazy girl to popular ice queen in the space of a few months had made them nervous. Nancy wore soft, fluffy pastel sweaters over demure knee-length skirts and put ribbons in her hair to smooth over the past (and, truth be told, to get a rise out of Carol, who hated her outfits), but of course people remembered her punching the wall. Her hand still ached when it rained.

From Tomorrow's a Long Way Off:

“There you are,” said a tired-looking Mr. Green as he entered the lobby. “Go help Robin clean up Cinema 1, will you? These kids are animals.”  Sure enough, Robin was standing in the middle of the theater next to the bright yellow cleaning cart, looking despairingly down at the fold-out seat. When Jonathan got close, he saw a suspicious dark patch on the worn red fabric. When he got closer, the ammonia smell of urine hit his nostrils. “Okay,” he told Robin. “Don’t panic.” “I’m not panicking,” she said. Her eyes were wide, and she sounded like she was trying not to laugh, which wasn’t reassuring. “Jonathan…they’re just so gross.”  “Some kids just get way too excited over Star Wars,” he said, suppressing a grin. It was gross, and he would’ve been in a much more sour mood if he’d had to face it alone. “It’s not a big deal. Paper towel, water and vinegar, baking soda, vacuum. That’s all you need.” “They also drink their weight in Coke,” Robin grumbled, as he pulled a roll of paper towels from the cart and started blotting the seat. “Thanks a lot, by the way. Chrissy Cunningham said you cut up all the frogs and stuff for her in bio last semester, but I wasn’t expecting…” She trailed off and grabbed a trash bag from the cart, then started picking litter off the floor. “She took all the notes,” he said. “Her handwriting’s way better than mine.” 

[literalliterature]

Light Motif: Preview

[Removed all but the preview as I submit this for publication!]

Orpheus went into the Underworld with a guitar case covered in scuffed stickers. He didn't have his plastic 7/11 cup, where he would always put some of his own change in at the start of the day, so that when anyone passing on the street threw money his way, there would be a celebratory rattle for all to hear. He didn't care, this time, whether anyone on the street was around to hear or not. And money does nothing down there anyway.

Orpheus went into the Underworld and passed newly made shades on the way down. He nodded to a few and wasn't surprised when they didn't return in kind. It's hard, sometimes, to nod to people in a big city. They see a smile from a stranger and think you want something out of them. (To be fair, Orpheus usually did. He did now.)

Orpheus came to the River Styx. The River Styx was an episode of Hoarders. The River Styx was the aftermath of the Galveston Flood. The River Styx flowed at a crawl these days, so choked was it with the refuse of lives. Wood beams and alarm clocks and open umbrellas and rings and socks and shelves and marble mantles and mattresses where love was made or fucking occurred and favorite sweatpants and the old toaster from someone's grandma's house and bricks from someone else's hometown's elementary school and the spot of carpet stained with cat urine and refrigerators and closed door after closed door after closed door. Everything that the dead had had to leave on the shore went in, items divorced from their meaning like the symbols of a language everyone has forgotten. There was more of the debris now than there was of the gray water. If you were to try to ford the channel yourself, you'd be not so much swept away as crushed in the crunch of things.

Orpheus went into the Underworld to find Charon on a smoke break. This was the only kind of break he took, and he seemed to always be taking it. There was no use in talking to the ferryman on break, certainly not if you didn't have a fare to give him, so Orpheus sat for years on the shores of the river, watching disorganized spice cabinets and roofs topped with rooster-shaped weathervanes drift by. The Model-Ts gave way to Teslas. Around him on this side of the shore milled the specters of the dead buried wrong, that is, without a means of paying their way across. As it turned out, burying people with coins over their eyes or in their mouths was a practice that had fallen out of fashion, meaning that nearly no one these days came down able to pay Charon, who took the excuse to work very little.

[am--f]

Hollis Frampton, "A Stipulation of Terms From Maternal Hopi" (1973/75)

1. [] = The radiance.

2. ]D[]Y[ = Containers to be opened in total darkness.

3. ]PS[]L[ = A drug used by women to dilate the iris of the eye.

4. ]H[]H[]L[ = Epithet of the star ]S[]S[]N[*, used while succulents are in bloom. 

5. ]PT[]Y] = Last light seen by one dying in the fifth duodecad of life.

6. ]XN[ = Heliotrope.

7. ]TL[]D[ = Rotating phosphenes of 6 or 8 arms.

8. ]BN[]T[ = Shadow cast by light of lesser density upon light of greater.

9. ]V[]TR[ = The pineal body; time.

10. ]XR[ = The sensation of sadness at having slept through a shower of meteors.

11. ]MR[][ = The luster of resin from the shrub ]R[]R[, which fascinates male babies.

12. ]NX[]KT[ = The light that congeals about vaguely imagined objects.

13. ]DR[]KL[ = Phosphorescence of one's father, exposed after death.

14. ]SM[]N[ = Fireworks in celebration of afirstborn daughter.

15. ]GN[]T[]N[ = Translucence of human flesh. 

16. ]TM[]X[]T[ = Delight at sensing that one is about to awaken.

17. ]TS[]H[ = Shadow cast by the comet ]XT[ uponthe surface of the sun.

18. ]R[]D[ = An afterimage. **

19. ]D[]DR[ = A white supernova reported by alien traveller.

20. ]K[]SK[ = A cloud; mons Veneris.

21. ][]Z[]S[= Ceremonial lenses, made ofice brought down from the high mountains.

22. ]KD[]X[ = Winter moonlight, refracted by a glass vessel filled with the beverage ]NK[]T[.

23. ]P[]M[]R[ = Changes in daylight initiated by the arrival of a beloved person unrelated to one.

24. ]G[]S[ = Gridded lightning seen by those born blind.

25. ]W[]N[]T[ = An otherwise unexplained fire in a dwelling inhabited only by women.

26. ]G[]GN[ = The sensation of desiring to see the color of one's own urine.

27. ]M[]K[ = Snowblindness.

28. ]H[]R[ = Unexpected delight atseeing something formerly displeasing.

29. ]H[]ST[ = The arc of a rainbow defective in a single hue.

30. ]L[]L[]X[=The fovea of the retina; amnesia.

31. ][]R[ = The sensation of satisfaction at having outstared a baby.

32. ]ST[ = Improvised couplets honoring St. Elmo's Fire.

33. ]V[]D[ = The sensation of indifference to transparency.

34. ]Z[]TS[ = Either ofthe colors brought to mind by the fragrance of plucked ]TR[ ferns.

35. ]X[]H[ = Royal expedition in search of a display of Aurora Borealis.

36. ]T[]K[]N[=Changes in day light that frighten dogs.

37. ]Y[]X[ = The optic chiasmus (Colloq.); abysmal; testicles.

38. ]N[][]T[ = The twenty-four heartbeats before the firstheartbeat ofsunrise.

39. ]F[]X[= A memory of the color violet, reported by those blinded in early infancy.

40. ]T[]Y[]Y[ = The sensation of being scrutinized by a reptile.

41. ]B[]NM[ = Mute.***

42. ]N[]T[]N[ =The sound of air in a cave; areverie lasting less than a lunar month; long dark hair.

43. ]S[]TY[ = The light that moves against the wind.

44. ]B[][ = Changes in one's shadow, after one's lover has departed in anger.

45. ]N[]GR[ = The fish Anableps, that sees in two worlds.

46. ]RZ[]R[ = The sensation of longing for an eclipse of the Moon.

47. ]H[]F[ = Stropharia cubensis.

48. ]S[]LR[ = Familiar objects within the vitreous humor.

49. ]W[]X[][ = A copper mirror that reflects only one's own face.

50. ]MN[]X[ = Temporary visions consequent upon trephining.

51. ]G[][]KR[ = Cataract.

52. ]RNpW[ = Hypnagogues incorporating unfamiliar birds.

53. ]M[]D[ = A dream of seeing through one eye only.

*Probably Fomalhaut (alpha Piscis Australis). **Also used as a classifier of seeds. ***Standing epithet of ancestral deities.

PDF

[stridercunt]

pester ; terminalSkeptic ?

TS ; check this out bro, i just made it. ( or read below,,, )

TERMINALSKEPTIC ;

My name is Nick, like Nick Strider because dawg, hes hot as FUCK! we're nonbinary pushing to the masc side,, and probably gay, idk.

Collectively just use they/xe/he pronouns on us unless one of us tells you not to.

LIKES AND DISLIKES ;

i like homestuck, insane clown posse, mindless self indulgence, jimmy urine, animals, drawing, and when people fucking talk to me.

DNI IF ;

errmm ,, no dni ig, besides immature kids,, i dont really care because i dont know you.

ALL SOCIALS UNDER " stridercunt " ,, INCLUDING DISCORD.

[qwertyume-blog]

anavia divyannisa

my lil daughter, beloved one. dd ana’s pregnancy journey.

1st trimester of pregnancy, from 4 weeks till 20 weeks -- hiperemesis gravidarum. HEG yg bener-bener teler terkapar diatas tempat tidur. selain pergi ke tempat kerja bener-bener ga sanggup keluar rumah. eik yg pada dasarnya sangat hobbi jalan-jalan keluar ke mall, outdoor, atau bahkan ke indomar*t selama 5 bulan pertama ini teler gais. boro-boro mau keluar rumah, hanya bisa baring diatas kasur dengan chumbucket standby di sebelah kasur bobo. bahkan belanja online selama 5 bulan pun absen. kalo mau aktivitas harus didoping dengan ODR 2cth 3xsehari. mana pas tm-1 ini pas kebetulan lagi latsar CPNS pula. masyaallah nikmatnyaaaa.. selama HEG ini selalu ditemenin yuk apca baring di atas kasur, dan selalu pegang tangan doi tiap mau tidur.

yuk apca’s hand :3

udah hampir masuk kategori drug abuse untuk obat ini selama 5 bulan :(

2nd trimester of pregnancy, weeks 20 till weeks 27, alergi yang tak berkesudahan. hilang emesis, timbulah alergi. gatal tak berkesudahan di ekstremitas dan wajah. masyaallah.. tapi ga berani minum antihistamin, karena takut si utun ikutan ketiduran di dalem perut. jadi bertahan selama 2 bulan dengan seluruh gatal yang tak berkesudahan itu.. ini foto lagi pas jaga igd dengan rasa gatal yang tiada ampun.

di TM-2 ini juga HB drop berulang kali, ga pernah diatas 10. nyentuh angka 10 aja udah alhamdulillah. jadi selama tm-2 juga rutin konsumsi fe, yang biasanya pake maltofer, kali ini nekat pakai prenamia. alhamdulillah dalam 2 minggu HB stabil di 10.

3rd trimester, masuk minggu ke-26 badan mulai edem. kaki udah pitting edem, perut udah ascites, aktivitas bentar mulai sesak dan mudah banget capek. setiap jaga selalu tensi, dan mulai rutin minum nifedipin karena emang ada riwayat PEB waktu hamil pertama. selama 2 minggu tensi stabil belum menyentuh s: 140 d:100. Saat minggu ke-28 hari minggu dan lagi jaga bangsal, badan udah ga bisa dikondisiin lagi. kaki udah ga bisa napak, mata ga bisa buka, kepala pusing berat, dan perut sakit. udah ga sanggup ngapa-ngapain, tapi ga bisa ngeluh karena orang dirumah pun ga bakal ngerti padahal setiap hari sudah dikomunikasiin keluhan ini. memang jadi wanita itu harus strong ya, harus serba bisa. walopun sakit dan rasa mau mati juga tetep harus bertahan demi anak-anak. 23 januari, setelah jaga bangsal dan udah dibackup sama TS buat follow up, eik istirahat di kamar jaga sambil jaga igd - langsung cek urin dan tensi, TD 190/130, protein urine 3+ , langsung disuruh mrs oleh TS yg jaga. tapi krn rs tempat kerja jauh, jadi balik ke rumah dulu, minta advice spog, lalu dirujuknya ke RS tipe A di kota krn udh susp PPHD dan impending eklampsi. sore langsung MRS ke RS tersebut. ketemu SPOG nya langsung, dan mintauntuk diobservasi dan stabilisasi dulu, ga mau terminasi. sampe akhirnya 3 hari mrs ga ada perubahan, dan janin udah mulai hipoperfusi, saya pun udah impending eklampsi. saran dari 3 SPOG untuk terminasi cito, akhirnya dd ana harus dilahirkan di usia 28 minggu, tanggal 26 Januari 2023, pkl 10.00 wib. setelah dilahirkan langsung dirawat di NICU ga sempet imd lagi, tapi saat SC alhamdulillahh sempet denger suara tangisnya 1x. setelah itu saya kejang dan langsung di sedasi total karena masih ada prosedur tubek setelah sc.

total ranap kali ini sampai 10 hari, masyaallah udah jadi bu rt nih di bangsal saking lamanya di ranap. 

selama di ranap belum ketemu sama sekali dengan dd ana, si kecil masih fighting di nicu. alhamdulillah temen-temen residen yang jaga nicu selalu infoin kondisi dd ana. pengen banget rasanya ketemu setiap hari, tapi demi kesembuhan dd, kondisi harus steril. bunda cuma bisa berjuang pumping untuk kasih asip dd ana. awalnya dd ana harus pakai donor asip dari ibun myu, bunjen dan mama mayang krn bunda masih kondisi belum pulih dan belum bisa menghasilkan asi. alhamdulillah saat udah pulih bunda udah bisa produksi banyak asi, dan siap dikirim untuk dd ana di NICU. tiap pumping selalu inget sm dd ana di nicu, agar hasil pumpingnya makin banyak. tapi tiba-tiba tanggal 5 februari, bunda dapet wa dari resident chief nicu yang ngabarin kalo trombosit dd ana kritis, dan HMD nya menkhawatirkan. kk chief ngebolehin ayah dan bunda untuk jenguk dek ana malam itu jam 11 malam. alhamdulillah pertama kali bunda bisa ketemu dd ana.

pulang ke rumah dengan perasaan yang ga nyaman dan berat krn tau kondisi dd ana sedang turun. tidur pun hanya dapat 1 jam, masih usaha pumping 2x. subuh, tgl 6 februari 2023 pukul 5.00 ada wa masuk dari kk residen yang jaga semalam dan beliau info bahwa kondisi dd ana turun, desaturasi dan sedang dilakukan RJP. masyaallah, udah ga tau lagi mau ngomong apa. udh ga bisa mikir apa-apa lagi. langsung datang ke nicu untuk liat kondisinya, dan ternyata lagi di RJP :( dan dengan berat hati harus kasih keputusan untuk menyudahi RJP nya karena sudah dalam batas maksimal. qodarullah ya nak, Allah lebih ingin dd ana tinggal di surga-Nya dibandingkan di dunia fana ini.

semoga Allah bisa menyatukan ayah-bunda-kk athar-yuk apcha dengan dd ana di surga kelak,. aamiin aamiin ya Rabbal alamiin.

sehari setelah dd ana wafat, bunda masih harus pumping krn produksi yang masih banyak. sempat kena mastitis karena mengurangi durasi pumping, sampai akhirnya tepat 1 bulan setelah dd ana meninggal barulah produksi asi bunda berhenti. alhamdulillah asi dd ana bisa bunda donasikan untuk 3 saudara sepersusuan dd ana, ada kk kenzi, ayuk kanisya, dan ayuk nuha.

teruntuk kk athar dan yuk apcha yang selalu bertanya kenapa dd ana ga pulang ke rumah, semoga kalian mengerti ya nak. dan semoga selalu menyelipkan doa untuk dd ana di tiap harinya. aamiin aamiin.

akan selalu ada nama dd ana di setiap doa bunda. we miss you dd ana :*

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

so basically um just enjoy it 

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Just heard my mom scold loudly "no man, that's for weeing!" from the living room

He's eating his fucking litter again

[spacegayparty]

Historical text contains the word "urinomancy":

Logan: This is the medieval word for the medical evaluation of urine, which was an important source of information before the era of modern medical tests.

Remus, slamming his fists on the table: PISS WIZARD! PISS WIZARD! PISS WIZARD!

[paris-in-flames]

Wait, scene/emo side of Sanders Sides fandom i need help confirming a theory: Remus would listen to Mindless Self Indulgence

[andean-deer]

yawyu qichwa / yauyos quechua

rimana / verbs

*disclaimer: many of these verbs may be exactly the same in other quechua languages, but i am not trying to keep track of that. it would be too much work.

*a note: the TR sound and the CH sound are very close in spoken yawyu qichwa. the distinction is there to make that more noticeable.

[ a quechua branch made up of (once 8 north / south) now survived by 5 southern dialects: apurí-madeán-viñac (amv), azángaro-chocos-huangáscar (ach), cacra-hongos (ch), lincha-tana (lt), licsay-san pedro (sp).

🌄 enjoy!

a-ch-h-i-k-l-ll-m-n-ñ-p-q-r-s-sh-t-ts-tr-u-w-y

away - to weave

akuy - to chew

atipay - to be able

suday - to sweat

qipiy - to carry

ñakariy - to suffer

yanapay - to help

qunqay - to forget

tumay - to take (a drink) / to drink

nanay - to hurt

warkuy - to hang

kawsay - to live

yatray - to reside/ live

depending on context,

yatray - to know

talk about confusing the neighbors!!

qallay - to start

ruway - to make

katrkay - to gnaw

mikuy - to eat

uyariy - to listen

niy - to say

willay - to tell

shupuy - to sip

sutuy - to drip

aychiy - to stir

punkiy - to swell

ñitiy - to crush

kuyuy - to move

wañuy - to die

pampay - to bury

apay - to bring

añay - to scold

almiy - to forge a river

lawkay - to feed a fire

layqay - to bewitch

risay - to pray

qillakuy - to become lazy

piñakuy - to become angry

asay - to anger

qishakuy - to make a nest

kumudakuy - to make comfortable

hirakuy - to hold / make / prepare herranza

walakuy - to put on a skirt

katakuy - to put on a shawl

waytakuy - to put on flowers

waqrakuy - to gore / to horn

hampiy - to cure

arruhay - to vomit

rantikuy - to sell

rantiy - to buy

wakchay - to raise / to domesticate

qasay - to freeze

qaway - to see

puñuy - to sleep

wiñay - to grow

hamuy - to come

lluqsiy - to exit / to go out/ to leave

lapuy - to slap

lapchay - to touch

qutuy - to gather

riy - to go

paway - to jump

saqay - to go down / to descend / to fall

qatiy - to follow

paqway - to finish

chumay - to strain

ashtay - to move

ashay - to yawn

qayay - to call / to scream / to shout

kasuy - to pay attention

kutiy - to return

yaykuy - to enter

yanuy - to cook

ishpay - to urinate

waqay - to cry

[transsolar]

TSA joint project: Diving into the design process

16 December 2020. The first meeting starts at 8 a.m. Project: Hostel, East Africa

In addition to facilitator Pablo, the other Fellows are in the online conference - this time via Zoom - joined by the local architect and his team, and former TS Fellow Achilles Ahimbisibwe (Associate Dean at Uganda Martyrs University) as an on-site consultant. The "pilots" Michelle Hur and Mohammed Hamza are present; Monika Lauster and Bertram von Negelein are listening in; it is also important to record this stage of the first joint project of the TSA7 Fellows.

After the round of introductions, the first questions reveal details. Edge certification* is being heavily considered but will not be analysed in detail for the time being. Uganda's grid electricity comes mainly from hydropower, but the infrastructure is not very reliable. The power can be out for long periods of time, and it is expensive. For this reason, too, it is planned not to install any power sockets in the dormitory rooms. In addition, no one will be tempted to cook secretly in the dormitory. The trainees will receive their food from the school.

In Uganda, it rains on average twice as much as it does here in Europe, so water is not actually in short supply, but this does not mean that it is not an issue, especially since the city's plumbing system is not particularly well developed.

How are the trainees normally dressed? This question is allows the Fellows to calibrate comfort measures according to clothing level. The usual school uniform of skirts for girls or trousers  for young men allows the locals to be comfortable in this climate. There are no set routine for dorm occupancy. Classes are variable; trainees return to their dorm rooms intermittently  during break periods. They generally stay on site during the semester; hardly anyone goes home for the weekend.

Sandhiya presents various options for shading for consideration. She shows examples made of bamboo. The architect emphasizes that a robust solution should be aimed for, requiring as little maintenance as possible. Eucalyptus wood is popularly used in Uganda. The desire to hang clothes in front of the east windows to dry should not conflict with shading strategies.

Ana proposes ventilation strategies. We learn that fans are rarely used in Uganda. "We don't need them," we are told. Whether this is primarily driven by power costs and maintenance remains an open question. On the other hand, there is sometimes so much wind that one would  close the window from time to time. By the way: mosquito nets are never used there with openable windows, only with permanent ventilation openings they are standard. The humidity in Kampala is said to be not as high as in more northern regions of Uganda. The example of ventilating the rooms naturally and with little technology via solar chimney arouses curiosity. It is true that noise transmission via the air duct from room to room and possible additional costs have to be considered. However, these costs must be weighed against the potential savings from the reduction in windows or in window sizes. Transsolar has examples of schools in its portfolio which demonstrate successful implementations of stack ventilation (with good air flow and no acoustic problems).

Francis takes his turn. He presents options for water collection, use and treatment, which include capturing and collecting rainwater from the roof, using gray water for flushing toilets or for irrigation. Four showers and four WCs are planned for each floor; on top of that there will be laundry areas where trainees can wash their clothes. Black water is typically collected on site in a septic tank and emptied as needed. A septic digester, on the other hand, could be used to produce biogas for further use. Another option would be to use composting toilets, which require urine to be collected separately and require an absorbent material such as sawdust or ash for the solids. Also, a biological treatment plant is theoretically possible; this would require the construction of a vegetated pond. A sketch shows how the fresh, rain-, grey- and blackwater systems interconnect. And again, the question arises, which system requires the least amount of maintenance? In the event of an operational problem, it usually takes quite a long time to resolve the problem, in the architect's experience. To move forward here and to estimate costs for comparison, Francis now needs to estimate of all sorts of values: How much water should optimally be stored on the roof, to balance structural costs and the daily water demand? How big do the main rainwater cisterns in the ground have to be? How much gas can be extracted from solid waste?  What water requirements can be expected? Achilles can obtain and pass on values for this.

Ketan leads the electricity discussion. From the design team, we learn that    excess power from a photovoltaic array  can only be fed into the public grid in special cases in Uganda. This unfortunately means that there is no option to sell the surplus electricity of a PV system during the day and to get paid for it. If there is only lighting with LEDs in the building, a small area on the roof equipped with photovoltaics would be sufficient. However, the 2600 m² roof has a much larger potential  to generate energy. Its amount also depends on the angle of inclination at which the panels should be placed, so that they clean themselves without maintenance, even when it rains. The energy generated would have to be used during the day, not just by pumping water onto the roof. It is conceivable that it could be used in the school about 100 m away, and a battery system would be used to store electricity for the night.

Finally, more questions  are asked, and other open points are collected: How big do the windows need to be to get enough daylight into the rooms, or is daylight needed from both sides of the rooms? For sure, the students sleep in the rooms, but the curriculum is irregular, school hours are intermittent throughout the day; trainees frequently return to their rooms then. It should also be noted that it can rain buckets in this area: A good stormwater management plan would be advantageous. A few material options are also open. A skeleton of reinforced concrete will support the building, the use of Zero Carbon Panels (special sustainably produced panels based on straw by-product) is certain. For the washrooms and showers, a wall design which allows air and light transmission is desired and remains open for discussion.

By next week, before Christmas, Transsolar will put together a "Booklet of Options," a compilation of possibilities. The next meeting is scheduled for January 13, 2021.

*Example: to achieve the EDGE standard, a building must be 20 percent more efficient than a standard building at that location in three categories: energy, water and gray energy of materials.

[war-torn-and-collateral-damage]

So I have a new medical update for everyone!! As many of you know I have had a very hard time finding a decent doctor and getting answers to my medical problems. Since 2017 when I was diagnosed with "Functional Neurological Disorder" my medical issues have only gotten worse, I have been subject to abuse, maltreatment and dismissal by the healthcare system time and time again. BUT!!! Finally, over 4 years later I have a doctor who is AMAZING who actually tested me for things, actually looked into my history, actually actively listened to me and my concerns and CORRECTED my diagnosis and gave us some answers.

Apparently, I have a rare genetic connective tissue disorder called Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, he was able to diagnose this based off of a 30 minute physical evaluation and my medical history, that is literally all it would have taken for another doctor to figure it out, hEDS itself explains why I have been dislocating/subluxing joints hyperextending/spraining and tearing muscles and ligaments for literally as long as I can remember. But you don't just have connective tissue in your joints, there is connective tissue in the entire body!!!!! In your head (this is why I am so prone to concussions) in your organs (which causes them to sag and makes things like digesting food difficult) etc.

hEDS alone does not explain everything but when it was confirmed today that it was paired with Autonomic Dysfunction we finally got some insight into what is going on!!!!

First off, we learned recently that my seizure/paralysis episodes are triggered by cardiac events. That is, I go tachycardic prior to an episode, my heart rate jumps from resting to 170 in about 3 seconds.

This is because the Autonomic Nervous System (which controls involuntary body functions i.e:

dizziness and fainting upon standing up, or orthostatic hypotension

an inability to alter heart rate with exercise, or exercise intolerance

sweating abnormalities, which could alternate between sweating too much and not sweating enough

digestive difficulties, such as a loss of appetite, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, or difficulty swallowing

urinary problems, such as difficulty starting urination, incontinence, and incomplete emptying of the bladder, bladder retention

vision problems, such as blurry vision or an inability of the pupils to react to light quickly)

You can experience any or all of these symptoms depending on the cause, and the effects may be mild to severe. Symptoms such as tremors, shaking, and muscle weakness may occur due to certain types of autonomic dysfunction as well.

We also learned today that tranquilizers and nerve relaxers amplify these episodes of paralysis and shaking because it over relaxes the autonomic nervous system which explains why my episodes would last so long and become so severe because in the past doctors were treating me for "psychogenic Neurological symptoms" with anxiety meds, nerve relaxers and tranquilizers.

I was continously sent to PT and OT with no results and worsening symptoms, we learned this is because my body cannot regulate its temperature so I have an exercise intolerance, I work out, do strengthening exercises etc and get hot (as you do in a work out) but my body cant cool itself down so then the ANS freaks out and i have episodes. (We now have a recommendation and referral for hydro-therapy)

We also learned that I have NOT been having seizures this entire time, I have been having "shaking episodes" which is another more severe symptom of autonomic dysfunction.

Autonomic dysfunction is now also being investigated for the cause of my GI problems. My doctor believes I have autonomic esoughagial dysfunction with an R wave meaning my esoughagus is working in the wrong direction!!!! Testing for this has now also been recommended and ordered!!!!

Unfortunately we did also learn that there is not a cure BUT now that we know the problem we can work at preventing episodes and symptom management (trying to keep me cooled of for example) we also learned ways to get me out of an episode of paralysis by "shocking the nervous system" by using ice baths, smelling salts, pain stimulation etc.

We have in no way fixxed the issues at this point but today we actually got answers and validation and I consider that alone a blessing.

In an effort yo manage symptoms there are some things I need, ai get what I am able to when I have the money but I do not make much on disability so if anyone wants to help ojt woth items on my home health wishlist zi would very much appreciate it. I will link the list here. Thanks everyone for the continues support and encouragement.

[wornoutmouse]

Day 13: Voyeurism

Notes:

Bruh I freaking love this. Also, I decided that with the kinks that I don't exactly know how to write, I'd just replace it with something else i can right. (As I'm writing this I looked at my kink list and voyeurism is day 26, on my momma I can never catch a break" also since I'm so far behind yall gon keep getting these probably well into November)

You had been dating Kai for about a year now but you had yet to do anything physical. Ever since the beginning, you knew that he wasn't big on touch to start with. In fact, it took till the second month of the relationship for him to even hold hands with you and three more months after for him to even kiss you on the cheek. Your friends would love to joke that you were in a long-distance relationship with Kai much to your annoyance. Even so, you loved him and would never dream of pushing him beyond his comfort level and he thanked you for that internally.

"Kai, I brought you your lunch!" you say pushing the door to his office open. Kai paid you no mind as you he trailed his gloved hand over his keyboard typing an email to an investor. You intricately placed his salad in the middle of his plate, making sure that no green leaf crossed the swirling blue design the plate possessed. You place 10 small pieces of tomatoes in a star shape above the lettuce then sprinkled it all with shredded cheese and pepper before sitting down a champagne glass of Vanilla Shasta. The last part you personally thought was doing too much but your boyfriend became a bit of a brat when things weren't exactly how he liked it.

You jump slightly as you feel a hand graze lightly across your rear end. You smiled recognizing the gesture as you felt the slight heat from his fingers dancing over your lower back. You go to leave the door whisper small encouragement to him as you see him pick up his food. 

As for the work you had to do today, there were none since you were finished. You had the rest of the day to yourself to relax because you knew Kai would not be leaving his office till 2:30 pm and it was only 9. Gaining a mischievous smirk, you tiptoe to your shared bedroom and hop under the covers grabbing your phone and putting your headphones in. Since Kai has yet to be comfortable touching you, you have had to help yourself in regards to physical pleasure. 

You trail your hands down delicately tracing your skin with your fingertips trying to get yourself worked up. The sound of your personal video flooded your senses as you listen to the asmrist instructing you on how to touch yourself. "I want you to take your hands and massage your breasts." you follow the instructions unhooking your bra from their confinement and sighing as all the tension falls away from you. You circle the outer parts of your areolas following the bumpy trail that covered them. "Pinch your nipples, my dear." 

Due to the cold air in the room, your nips had long since hardened from the change in temperature so it took only a little prodding to get them standing at attention. You lick the tip of your finger and circle your hard bud between itself. You softly whimper as you feel yourself slowly becoming aroused. You imagine the voice becoming deeper, similar to that of Kai's as it tells you what to do. "Take off your panties." You peer through your closed lids and pull down your underwear, shivering as you felt your wetness sticking from your folds to your underwear. "Don't touch yourself yet baby instead I want you to trace your inner thighs, so close, yet so far." You internally cringe at the pet name because you knew Kai would never call you that. 

Your legs tremble as you got closer to your entrance but were forced to retreat from the place you wanted to be caressed. At this point, you had become uncouth with the sheets around you tossed off of your body exposing your lower half to the open-air making you shiver as the AC comes on. You turn your head to the side, eyes closed, "I want you to trace your folds but go no deeper." You whimper as you lightly graze your entrance not going any further.

You worry your plump lip in between your teeth as you use all your self-control to not go on ahead and delve inside yourself. You groan as you feel your earbud slip out of your ear. You reach your hand back to grab it but feel your hand touch something leather-like. You open your eyes lips pursed before sitting up sharply as you make eye contact with Kai. 

"I...I." you stutter out unable to explain yourself as you feel your face get warm with embarrassment. Kai doesn't break eye contact with you as he holds your earbud a small distance from his ear, close enough to ear the vulgar words the asmrsit is speaking but far enough that it isn't touching his ear. You bring the blanket up to cover yourself but it's promptly snatched from your hand by Kai. You bring your legs up to yourself thoroughly embarrassed at being caught. Kai, still holding the earbud walks out of the room before walking back in with a chair that he positions in front of the bed. 

Kai sits down tossing the earpiece on the bed sitting back and crossing his legs, gaze piercing through you. "Show me." You jerk your head up at the order, "H-Huh?" Kai leans forward propping his elbows on his knees. "Show me, what you were doing." You blinked a few times and you could feel yourself blush, honestly glad that he wouldn't be able to see it. You exhale shakily trying to calm yourself. 'He's not mad, but He's not happy." You jump as you feel a ruler tap your legs open and you gaze up as at Kai as he slides a gloved hand over your knee prying them open. "Touch yourself." 

Seeing no other option you trail your hands down your body shakily and grimace as you feel yourself wetter than before. You trail your fingers through your wetness and moan slightly. The grip on your knees tightens as Kai's gaze bores into where your hands played with yourself. Kai's hands glide down your legs as he squats in front of you only inches from your entrance. His predatory gaze flickers to your's and you couldn't help but hold eye contact feeling as if it was against the rules for you to look away. 

Kai takes hold of your wrists and angles your fingers above your entrance making you sink the tip of your index finger inside of yourself. "Crap." you curse out at the teasing sensation your finger caused. "Watch your language." Kai grunts still maintaining focus on how your finger dipped in and out of your wet entrance. You couldn't see over the bed, but you could tell he was affected by the hint of sweat collecting on his forehead. Taking his hand, Kai pulls down his mask exposing the rest of his face before taking a gloved hand in between his teeth pulling it off. 

You jump as you feel a larger finger push itself inside unforgivingly joining yours. "Your absolutely filthy." Kai growls out scoffing as he feels you tighten around his finger at the remark. You slowly finger yourself slightly annoyed at the stationary position Kai kept his finger you jerk your hips slightly trying to encourage him to move. Kai narrowed his eyebrows, a thin tongue swiping over his lips. You whine happily as he begins to move it, though rough in speed, pleasurable in direction. "You were being an absolute tramp on my bed, dirtying it with your lustful thought." Kai moved his finger at a rougher pace as he stands up propping himself above you with one hand. "Yet you had the audacity to pleasure yourself with another man's voice." You could feel yourself getting close to your release as you unconsciously grip onto Kai's forearm, "Release me!" you drop your hands down and throw your head back as you shake uncontrollably eyes screwed shut as you focused on your pleasure. 

Kai slowed down his pace the slightest bit as he prods your cervix with his finger circling it carefully before pushing at it as if trying to breach it. "Kai that kinda hur-ts." you stutter outreaching to touch him but stopping yourself from doing so. Kai proceeds to resume his brutal pace on your walls and you couldn't help but arch your back violently as you feel wave after wave of pleasure crawling through you. 

With a loud wail, you cum and to your horror, you feel a large amount of liquid exit your body and sprayed over Kai's arm and his leg that he had propped on the bed below you. Kai continues ignoring his discomfort, fingering you through your orgasm. When you're finished, he pulls away and you can finally see the amount of damage you did. His pants are obviously stained dark from your release. "I had heard about women releasing copious amounts of liquid from their sexual organs. I at first only thought it was urine but based on smell and consistency I now see that this is not so." Kai studies his hand that is drenched in your fluids ranging from clear to white.

He takes a few steps back sitting on the chair behind him before unbuckling his belt and pulling himself out. You gasp as you gaze at his dick for this is the first time you've ever seen it. It was heavily covered in pulsating veins and the tip was an angry red from being left unattended for so long. Taking the hand covered in your release, Kai uses it to stroke his member growling as he finally gets the stimulation he needed. You watched hungrily and somewhat proud that you were the one that caused your calm and collected boyfriend to overcome his obsession with cleanliness.

"Are you proud of yourself?" Kai grunts as he polishes the head of his cock with the palm of his hand. His arms flexed and his feet raised up onto his toes as he breaths heavier coming closer to his own orgasm. "Bringing me down to your level like this." Kai throws his head back thrusting his cock into his hand which force that you craved would go into you. 

You walk up to Kai and hungrily gaze at his long cock as your combined fluids pooled along with the opening of his pants that at this point were hopelessly ruined. "Can I.." you started swallowing shallowly as Kai teased the tip of his cock with his thumb. "Can I please have it Kai?" you beg sounding completely ruined. Kai smirked at you releasing his cock as you position yourself above it sliding down with a moan. Kai brings his hands, one gloved, one not, and holds your ass tightly as he uses his strength to bounce you on his cock. "Look at you, so pathetic, taking everything I give you." You nod your head babbling nonsense as his cock bumps your cervix the same way his finger had moments before.

Kai plants his feet flat on the ground as he meets you halfway thrusting into your body breaking your mind with how good it felt. You come once again, pulsating around his dick making Kai also reach his peak as he releases deep inside of you. You two rest your foreheads together as you come down from your high.

Kai promptly lifts you up and heads to your large bathroom that, to your surprise, was already filled with warm water. Your face heats up at the thought of a server sneaking past the two of you to fill up the tub. Afterward, there are small kisses and Kai's complaints about how messy you were as you washed each other's backs.

[cryptdoor]

cannot stop thinking about this

jimmy and his kinnies living in my mind rent free

jimmy urine posted his kin list to twitter what fucking timeline is this

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Tues[day] 9 September 1834

8 50/..

12 50/..

L

N

Goodish one last night   lay quietly talking this morning finish b[u]t dullish morn[in]g and F[ahrenheit] 57°

at 9 1/2 – br[eak]f[a]st at 10 – wr[ote] 1 p[age] of 1/2 sh[ee]t envelope and finish[e]d my let[ter] beg[a]n yest[erday] to D[octo]r Belcombe – s[ai]d we were sor[ry] n[o]t to ha[ve] seen

[on] our leav[in]g York – I wish[e]d to ha[ve] consult[e]d w[i]th h[i]m a lit[tle] b[u]t the event h[a]d justif[ie]d my courage –

nev[e]r journ[e]y ans[were]d bet[ter] – took no med[i]cine whi[le] away – nature h[a]d done all th[a]t c[oul]d be desir[e]d – A- [Adney] h[a]d

borne our our arduous journ[e]y admirab[l]y and w[a]s an excell[en]t trav[elle]r – ment[ione]d our route in gen[era]l

terms – th[a]t we h[a]d scrambl[e]d up fearful rocks, wad[e]d thro’ snow, and gaz[e]d up[on] spots where oth[e]rs

h[a]d been lost, and h[a]d pick[e]d up health and strength amid our wild b[u]t delightful wander[in]gs –

wr[ote] out journ[a]l of the 30th inst[ant] – meas[urin]g and settl[in]g w[i]th A- [Adney] ab[ou]t curt[ai]ns for n[or]th parlour – h[a]d Ch[arle]s H- [Howarth]

measure[in]g the firepl[a]ce and plann[in]g ab[ou]t chimn[e]y piece – wr[ote] comp[limen]ts to Mr. Wilkins[o]n and to inq[uire] if th[e]re w[a]s

a front gallery-pew at lib[ert]y in Lightcliffe and wh[a]t w[oul]d be the ann[ua]l rent – if n[o]t begg[e]d to kno[w] wh[a]t

pews were at lib[ert]y, as, dur[in]g my stay at ho[me], sh[oul]d be gl[a]d to be one of Mr. W-‘s [Wilkinson] congregat[io]n if I c[oul]d

get a good pew – A- [Adney] finish[e]d h[e]r civ[i]l let[ter] to Mrs. Hen[r]y Belco[mbe] 1/2 sh[ee]t full and 1 p[age] of 1/2 sh[ee]t

envelope – as she c[oul]d n[o]t do h[e]r commiss[io]n and bring h[e]r and Mrs. Miller each 2 cases of Eau de Cologne,

(the carr[ia]ge to full) begg[e]d the comm[issio]n m[i]ght be put out of the quest[io]n and th[a]t each w[oul]d do h[e]r the fav[ou]r

to accept one case – ver[y] m[u]ch oblig[e]d for Mrs. H. B-‘s [Belcombe] so kind invitat[io]n to sp[en]d a lit[tle] whi[le] w[i]th h[e]r –

grateful to D[octo]r B- [Belcombe] for all his skill and kind[ne]ss and care – S[e]nt Geo[rge] off at 4 w[i]th A-‘s [Adney] let[ter] and mine

to ‘D[octo]r Belcombe York’ in a parcel to ‘Mrs. Hen[r]y Belcombe, minst[e]r y[ar]d York’ w[i]th the 2 cases

of Eau de C- [Cologne] one w[i]th mill compl[imen]ts to Mrs. Miller and w[i]th my no[te] (vid[ere] ab[ov]e) to ‘the Rev[eren]d Rob[er]t Wilkins[o]n

Heath’ – A- [Adney] and I off (on f[oo]t) d[o]wn the o[ld] b[ank] to H[alifa]x at 4 40/.. – to Walkers’, Nicholsons, Whitleys etc. and ho[me] (up

156

1834

Sept[mebe]r

N

the n[ew] b[ank]) at 6 55/.. – din[ner] at 7 10/.. – coff[ee] – civ[i]l no[te] comp[limen]ts etc. fr[om] Mr. Wilkins[o]n – c[oul]d gi[ve] no posit[ive]

ans[we]r – w[oul]d inq[uire] – th[in]ks th[e]re is one pew at lib[ert]y in the n[or]th or s[ou]th gallery c[oul]d n[o]t ma[ke] out w[hi]ch – I w[i]th my

a[un]t fr[om] 10 to 10 35/.. – she h[a]s ver[y] m[u]ch pain, as us[ua]l – can[no]t now bear to talk m[u]ch, or to ha[ve]

A- [Adney] and me (2 peop[le]) togeth[e]r – h[a]d h[a]d Mr. Sund[erlan]d whi[le] we were at H[alifa]x. A- [Adney] w[e]nt to bed at 10

I sat up look[in]g for acc[oun]t b[oo]k and bills – fine day – F[ahrenheit] 58° at 12 10/.. tonight –