#tryna use fucking references again but god i hate it

[cxjayn]

Bad In Bed - Jayne County.mp3

[ajearthlinggg]

My opinions on all Will Wood music videos

momento mori MAP: the first Will Wood related thing I saw thanks to my brother. I remember seeing it and being like "Wow this is so okay." Not really one of my fav songs but still really good animation from everybody

Mr. Capgras: (oh my god this is my end) honestly in my top 3 favorite music videos (number 2 and 1 are even more sexual 😭 the karma music video ain't shit idgaf) I have dressed as Will from this video (the outfit when he looks like an auntie) and I will NOT be posting the photos BC y'know, underage. But just it matches the song's vibe so well and is incredibly visually interesting. Will's makeup is on point (as always) and him and his band's outfits (or lack of) also manage to fit the vibe of the song perfectly. I read an interview he did about the music video and had to look up like, ten words. Someone make this man an English teacher. Anyway, amazing video. Give Mario more screen time.

Dr Sunshine: somehow WAY more uncomfortable then Mr. Capgras. Once again, Will's makeup is great. There are so many goddamn colors I don't know if I love it or if I want the video banned because of it. It's great how the video goes from a normal kinda weird WWATT video to incredibly uncomfortable and strange as soon as he goes bald. Great video. William, the cones in my eyes feel great resentment towards you.

Hand me my shovel: OMGG I PLAYED A BIT OF THIS ON PIANO AT MY PIANO LESSON AND MY MUSIC TEACHER PUT UP THE MUSIC VIDEO IN FRONT OF MY DAD AHAJSJJZJ (he luckily stopped after the intro) anyways I fucking hate this video for creating one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. 10/10. Fuck you.

Euthanasia: no. Don't even remind me. Please. *incredibly loud ugly sobbing noises*

Laplace's Angel : haha this video has so much bones that it should be called Skeleton Appreciation Day! *gets booed of stage* anyways great video. Wills outfit is so cool. You know the one. Bnoes bnones bnes. Lemmed ssee yior bneons.

Sex, drugs, and rock and roll : GUYS THIS VIDEO IS MOSTLY SATIRE PLEASEEE. watching Will throw tomatoes at himself is beautiful. 10/10 viewing experience

Love, Me Normally: First WW video I watched as a real fan of his music. Omg I love this video. He said in a YouTube comment that the rats were his girlfriend's at the time. I can just imagine the conversation "Hey can I borrow your RATS for my MUSIC VIDEO about CONFORMITY?" Also the first WW fanart I drew was of this video so that's pretty cool. Anyways I love the ghosts and the hat falls off his head like every 2 seconds go watch the video you'll see what I mean.

2econd 2ight 2eer: this used to be my fav WW song before I was a WW fan. Anyways THE MAKEUP ONSGDJAHSJ this video made me question my lesbianism like HIS EYELINER AAAAAA. But anyway once again lots of colors. Like, LOTS of colors. I already have eyesight problems William once again THE CONES IN MY EYES HATE YOU. AHSJSJKAAKA. Also thank you to this song for giving my lovely mutual his username. (Hi Syd)

Chemical Overreaction: This song and music video is my new aesthetic. That's all I have to say.

6up 5oh: I remember when my brother was obsessed with this song back in 2020 😭 HOLY SHIT I HEAR POLICE SIRENS RN THEY'RE ON TO ME DELETE THIS SONG FROM MY WATCH HISTORY RN FUCK FUCK FUCK. Ig this video is pretty good. Not one of my fav videos but its alright.

You Liked This: You even both like Subway, Eat Fresh!

Well, better than the alternative : omg the filter and artsyle is so cool. Also the Stranger Things references, the masks, the outline of the filter, it's so 2020 and it makes me sad. WHAT'S SO WRONG ABOUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? I'M JUST TRYNA DO WHAT'S RIGHT BY YOU?

Tomcat disposables: please I'm gonna cry again. OH MY GOD WILL IS SO FUCKING TALENTED

Cicada days and Marsha, thankk you: not really a fan of lyrics videos. Decided to group the lyric vids together to say this.

White Noise: as somebody who's struggles with the topics this song speaks about, there really is no Will Wood song that affects me emotionally more than this one. Not Against the Kitchen Floor. Not Tomcat disposables. Hell, not even Euthanasia. This song in particular is so underappreciated and pushed aside instead of being recognised as an emotional, hard hitting, meaningful, lyrical masterpiece, and the video only adds to that. The symbolism from the excitement the people get over nothing makes so much sense after paying attention to the lyrics. Also holy shit he's bald again.

2012: the way his fans treat the topic of this song kinda is so weird. Like, he did so much drugs that he FORGOT A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR. and his fans are just like "haha funny I don't remember hehe" anyways this video for some reason is like Criminal by Fiona Apple if she took 12 edibles and believed in aliens. Not saying it's anything like that but that's just the vibes it gives me. I love Fiona and Criminal is top 2 fav music videos for me so I have no complaints 👍

Wealth and Hellness: not really a WW music video but I love this song so much and Will did an awesome fucking job directing the video. I love Human Zoo and can't wait to see if they ever will collab with Will again. Also all that conspiracy bullshit was insane.

Wealth and Hellness (censored version): Wonderful video! Perfect for my Christian family! Praise the community guidelines! 🙏🙏😇😇😇

[uglyduckling339]

KY'S LIFE IS STRANGE DOUBLE EXPOSURE NONSENSE LIVEBLOG: Episode 3

(as always, spoilers ahead!! don't read unless you've played the game or watched it bc otherwise none of these will make sense)

Tutorial Episode 1 Episode 2

LETS FUCKING GOOO IM SO EXCITED i actually really like this game ngl

(fun fact: this episode alone took 103 drafts to liveblog, and i actually shortened the amount by combining some into a list. without the list, it's about 150 drafts lol)

WOLF SQUAD HOODIE 🗣🗣🗣 AND PINK TIPS 🗣🗣 BEST OUTFIT COMBO AROUND FR

bruh max is ALWAYS sleepin in the beginning of ep 3 lmao

the best part of max's dissociation is there is no way she could be 100% confident that she DIDN'T kill safi. even she is getting slightly convinced by the photo and its prolly bc she knows theres days she wakes up and she doesn't feel real; days she forgets completely. she will NEVER be certain she didn't kill safi bc she'll never know if she just forgot it and erased it from her memory.

oh um, ik i was just yapping abt dissociation but i just remembered that it could be a future version of max instead😭 so idk

if i had a nickel for every LiS game i've played where the main character is accused of murder and wears a wolf squad hoodie, i'd have 2 nickels.

highkey i forgot safi and vinh fucked. they're both so real ngl

LMFAO MY BROTHER SAID MAX IN THE PIC WITH THE GUN HAS A LEAD PAINT STARE

cheetos toes?? max?? girl??

AH EW ALDERMAN KYS I HATE U

max. the picture. girl. u forgot the picture.

why would u walk to open the door with very explicit evidence against you js chilling in plain eyesight u freak

love her "oh fuck" + the face she makes lol

YO WHAT THE FUCK??

WHAT

FUCK YOU DUDE

he mentioned arcadia bay?? holy shit

my fav draft in here is: "girl js eat the photo atp"

okay what was alderman even tryna do. piss max off??

her instant breakdown :( poor max

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

MAX PHOTO JUMPED AGAIN ??????

shes js hella rusty but damnnn omg

hey! so what the fuck was that.

why was the storm in the background?

was it a diff universe maybe?

istg it's like her nightmare never ended fr

also MAX IS STILL FINE AS HELLLLLLLL IN THAT STORM EVEN AFTER 9 YEARS daymn

omg :( her collapsing tryna use her powers

the music in this episode is so good btw

is this the first ep in DE where we get 'sits' back or did i just miss them all last time

now i love you max but yk DAMN WELL ur talking straight out of ur balls with that whole "disappearing" thing. we dont know if u vanish or not 😭

okay so luckily she DOES disappear. unluckily i have SO MANY COMMENTS now:

what abt the dozens of kids she vanished in front of last ep then? did they just not care? does this mean that when she time travelled she DID teleport around? and people js didn't say anything? hilarous 10/10

goddd this might be my favorite ep so far. the amount of references and stuff added is insane.

max's trauma peaking through ily

she's like edging a breakdown but thats not quite enough tbh. i need to see her js COLLAPSE. let her hit her lowest. suffer ♡

actually i think i just wanna see max have a super reasonable reaction to this chaos she lives through ngl

okay so i looked away to liveblog and when i looked back up a diff universe alderman was there?? and moses could see him??? huh??

obvi i saved him. max wouldnt let him die

"i could've saved him!!" "no, you couldn't have." OH MY GODDD

highkey, the random extras in this game fucking SUCK. why is one british. who tf is kim. why do i care abt changing "photo guy"'s grade. i miss the tiny cast in LiS 1

stupid ass game making me google words

quick shout out to my dad for playing the whole Yasmin scene for me. he didn't have to, he js insisted bc "i paided 85$ for this game; i wanna try it"

okay so i actually hate Living World! Vinh ngl

VICTORIA?? GIRL?? DAMN??

talking mad shit on my pink twt page man.

also max's glitchy hair in this is so interesting !!

i forgot in which world Vinh owes me a favor so i've decided to not use any favors ever 🤩

"my door is always open" sounds familar...

lucas is the only person to be like slightly consious of max wandering around his room lmao

yup lucas is supposed to be jeffershit coded

AHH direct jefferson mention 😰

yk what. i dislike the loading screens. why r they so often

safi :( no :( y r u so mad :(

OH MY GOD IT'S COURTNEY'S BDAY </3

MAX IS SO SAD AND LONELY I LOVE HER

i think at first these liveblogs were more detailed but now i just say words lowkey

dude shes like so sad rn its insane. ily girl

SMASH OR PASS LMAOOOOO:

pass moses, smash gwen, didnt even get a choice w amanda (i think thats fucking WEIRD btw; i'll elabrote in a min), pass lucas, Kiss vinh

OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO ADD THAT SHE NEARLY CALLED CHLOE. BAE WAS SO UPSET SHE ALMOST CALLED HER OLD BAE

guys i make Max kiss Warren and Chloe is LiS and now i wanna do that again with Vinh and Amanda. #PolyamorousMaxineCanon

amanda's scene gets bisexual lighting okk

LETS THRASH SHAKABRAH !!!!!!!!!

okay so going back to the Amanda 'no choice' thing, at first I rejected her (bc the first interaction in the game with her is the game borderline shoved us onto her??) and now i've grown to kinda like her.

I like rhat she does listen to our boundaries and doesn't push on now but I feel like we missed alot of chances to learn more abt amanda bc of the romance being cut. Like i'm almost certain if I had chosen a romance with her we could have gotten a way better conversation from it.

anyways !! max almost crying :(

all lesbians like gwen bro

OH?? OKAY B&E

MY CAT?? IS MY CAT OKAY?? IRIS?? BABY??

this is the first time idk who coulda done this. i have so many guesses but i have zero clue fs.

I FOUND THE BABY DONT WORRY GUYS

poor sweetiepie is so scared :(

oh thats a lame reveal. its js another max

MUSIC SLAPS THO 🔥🔥🔥🔥

so im hearing that alderman was just a lil bitch

so the 'dopplegangers' are actually a shapeshifter??

THE SHAPESHIFTER IS SAFI????? WHAT??

okay i'm going straight into Episode 4 rn cuz i'm hooked but that was fire. it felt more like a Life Is Strange episode then the other 2 and yall know i LOVE characters showing any emotions ever lol

[leavingdeadgirl]

not a lore ask but since you seem to want to ramble: 1 song you associate with each character and why?

Hi anon ily. I did 2 for the first few sorrgy

Lori:

1. Sin Eater by Penelope Scott. The song displays a strong desire to be good from the singer while also expressing a bit of disdain for someone who seems to be better in every way (and is, fittingly, referred to as the “holy mother god”) while also evidently seeking validation from this person that they feel they won’t or can’t get.

Notable lyrics: “you’re the holy mother god and I aspire to your goodness, but the only thing I have inside to offer is a pit / I suffer just to moan, I scratch my itches to the bone / I keep confessing till I hit the spot from which the guilt emits”

2. I Don’t Smoke by Mitski. Again leading into Lori’s longing to do good and be good, to have friends, to be closer to people. Trying too hard for someone distant.

Notable lyrics: “if you need to be mean, be mean to me / I can take it and put it inside of me / if your hands need to break more than trinkets in your room / you can lean on my arm as you break my heart”

Cody:

1. Habits by Tove Lo. Though Cody doesn’t do drugs (this detail is irrelevant and thus subject to change) or have any addiction issues, the song all in all encompasses the life of someone whose every second is spent trying to find even a moment of happiness, living in a daze trying to forget someone they can’t think about.

Notable lyrics: “spend my days locked in a haze, tryna forget you babe, I fall back down / gotta stay high all my life to forget I’m missing you”

(See also: So Numb by TX2)

2. Gross by Penelope Scott. The song is about a breakup, partially, but I also relate Cody to the other end of it, being about the complicated nature of relationships with people around you when you’re mentally ill and being torn between wanting to push those who love you away and wanting to be able to love and show love to them.

Notable lyrics: “I hate it most when they’re kind, when they have meaningful lives / and I’m the awful one standing next to them” & “I’m never gonna feel good again, I’ve played this game through to the end / I’ll pull the plug or I’ll wait it out, but I don’t need you around / I wish I never met you, I wish I wasn’t a waste / I wish I had the guts to fuck my own life up or the heart to set myself straight”

Jane Doe:

1. Pure as a Lamb by Baby Bugs. While it is about abuse specifically in a religious setting, its depiction of abuse and the specific sort of feeling of betrayal expressed makes me think of her. Not to mention the rather simple language used reminds me of Jane, who was between 5 and 10 and, though she was very good at reading and writing, didn’t speak in especially complex language.

Notable lyrics: “you plucked my petals, just like the devil would do / and if I’m going to hell, I hope that you go too” & “now I feel dirty, look what you did / I wasn’t an object, I was a kid / I’m scarred and mangled, I am used / and all of this because of you”

2. The Ballad of Jane Doe from Ride the Cyclone. While the song goes into how that Jane Doe doesn’t know who she is or the life she lived, that’s not true of my Jane Doe, but the song does go into the plight of a dead girl whose story is left unknown, never to be mourned or remembered.

Notable lyrics: “I’ve got no celebration / just this consolation: / time eats all his children in the end” & “a melody floats through the air / when silence falls, does no one care? / another sad, forgotten tune / another song that no one knows / so that's how it goes”

The Thing:

1. Monster Truck by Jazmin Bean. Angry as fuck song, pretty violent, but all of Jazmin’s stuff matches an aesthetic and a type of music I associate with The Nursery.

Notable lyrics: “I don’t wanna eat the sun (succubus, fuck, suck you straight to the tomb) / I’ve been living on the run (white lined chalk, take it straight to the dome, dome)” & “make it hard, rocket launcher, fuck / fuck your dirt bike, I’ve got a monster truck” & “and this world is a sick fucking joke, just masters and puppets and mirrors and smoke / so fuck it, let’s light it, let’s to / I’m playing with fire, I’m planning to blow”

2. Brutus by The Buttress. Specifically encompasses its relationship to Lori.

Notable lyrics: “my name is Brutus and my name means heavy, so with a heavy heart I’ll guide this dagger into the heart of my enemy / my whole life you were a teacher and friend to me / please know my actions are not motivated only by envy / I too have a destiny / this death will be art / the people will speak of this day from near and afar / this event will be history, and I’ll be great too / I don’t want what you have, I wanna be you”

Emily:

1. Heaven Says. Specifically the Deltarune remix, but I saw a FAITH animation for the song and I’ve associated it with her since

Notable lyrics: “heaven is above / heaven is the answer / life is terror / blood in the machine, you are in danger” & “greater than life / stronger than death / echo around the world / search for the end / answer for your crimes / beg for mercy / take back you control / take back your control / take back your control, control, control, control, control-”

2. Christmas Kids by ROAR. Idk.

Notable lyrics: “the Christmas kids were nothing but a gift / and love is a tower where all of us can live / you change your name or change your mind / and leave this fucked up place behind / but I’ll know / I’ll know”

Sarah Warner:

Class Fight by Melanie Martinez. Sarah was a girl who tended to act out a lot, but always felt totally justified in everything she did and like she was giving people what they deserved when she lashed out or was otherwise doing something good/funny/right.

Notable lyrics: “I wanted to be in her shoes for one day / I just waited till recess to make her pay” & “her face was fucked up and my hands were bloody / we were in the playground, things were getting muddy / the teacher broke us up after I broke her / and my one true love called me a monster”

I don’t have any for the other specific victims but I do have one for all of them:

Fall Fair Suite (the opening) from Ride the Cyclone. All of them dying in “accidents” just makes me think of the RTC kids’ reactions to the accident that killed them, and I think they’d feel similarly.

Notable lyrics: the whole thing, more or less.

[thelovelybitten]

vera's first time watching south park -- season three (part 2)

i hate this character limit shit ugh but here u go <3

EPISODE 7:

lmao cartman just being a kid so cute

"BUT MEEEEEMM" never gets old

oh GOD SHELLY AS THE BABYSITTER this is about to be messy

OH FUCK SHE DECKED HIM INTO THE WALL

HOLY FUCK THEY IN THE WWE RN

NOT THE ULTRA WEDGIE

jesus CHRIST SHE JUST DOESN'T STOP

EYE. not the animal PORN GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE

CARTMAN BFFR U DON'T GIVE THAT MUCH CATNIP DSBFJKDSBKG

this man a pedophile... awks

jesus I can't with shelly she is BRUTAL

this song is...a choice.

I'm tryna feel bad for shelly but I can't

where the honk did all these cats come from

this cat subplot is so... weird I don't like it

okay. this ep was. a wild ride i'd say lol

EPISODE 8:

RANDY. JUST BC HE HANGS OUT WITH KYLE A WHOLE TON DOESN'T MEAN HE CAN'T BE BI OR SUMTH.... if they want to, they will. if the don't, they still besties. period.

BUTTERS' FIRST LINES <3 MY CHERISHED BABY BOY BJKSDFJBDSJBGDS HE IS HERE

pip kinda weird tho

what in tarnation is this game y'all

sharon pop AWF mom get KRUNK BITCH

the dads getting into the hot tub lmao

period gerald

these DADS I CAN'T DJBSFKJSDBGKB

gerald. just say ur into randy FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

this awk atmosphere YIKES

yo gerald WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY

oh wait this IS HAPPENING AT THE SAME TIME AS LAST EP

cool ref

these people MAD WEIRD

STAN BEING AN ICON AS ALWAYS

wait WHAT THE FUCK THE DADS RLY DID THAT ??!?!?!?!??@?!/1/1? BE FUCKING FOR REALLLLL

RANDY ?!?2/2!?2?1

the PHOTO OF STAN FUCKING KILLS ME

randy and gerald got tension y'all...

BUTTERS HE'S A SWEET BOY SOBBING

oh god THIS SONG DOES SUCK

STAN AND BUTTERS :')

stan getting into the game werk

mr.mackey getting KRUNKKKKKK

randy in his homophobic era :/

GASP

"we all a little gay" SO TRUE BESTIE SO TRUE

NOT BUTTERS BEING DRAFTED AS SOON AS KYLE GOT THERE

style just reigns supreme ig

EPISODE 9:

IKE IN HIS LITTLE SUIT <3333333

this is also linked to the last two eps

SLAY KENNY

kenny listening so good meanwhile ike is having a MELTDOWN

I love the kyle/kenny dynamic it's so different but so refreshing

they could be bomb friends (but not as close as style)

IKE :"((((((

Kenny is just so cute

NOT KENNY GETTING THE BELL A BUNCH OF TIMES FKFBJDSSDKJBGJSB

kenny and kyle sfljbsajfbk they are hilarious

not the kid :(

Kenny sitting with his eyes open LMAO

KENNY MAKING HIS SOAP CARVING ON THE SPOT

NOT KENNY GET OUTTA HERE

kyle threw kenny under the bus little bitch

NO KENNY SDGBDSJBDSKBBK :(((((((((((

KENNY SAVE THE KIDS RN POP OFF MY SON

"SHIT." - KENNY MCCORMICK

the bears helping save the jew scouts w kenny and the squirts <3

GO KENNY GOOOOOOOO

NO KENNY'S DEAD :'(((((

oh my goD GOOD EP

EPISODE 10:

HALLOWEEN EPISODEEE

MY TRIO (stan, kyle, Kenny) those are my kids

okay but cartman is me tho

ayo KENNY WOULD WIN THE CONTEST DON'T DOUBT MY SON

is this a scooby doo reference? weird but okay ig

liane laughing at her own son LMAO

BRO WHAT NOT KYLE'S GRANDMA :'((((((

Y'ALL SICK FOR THIS

I feel so bad for kyle oh my god :'(

god the literal trauma kyle would go through for this

that's on god kyle we show respect in this house

NO NOT THE DOG EATING KYLE'S GRANDMA

what THE HELL CARTMAN NO

KYLE AND STAN <3 their costumes are so cute WHAT

SHERIFF STANLEY AND THE KYLE CLOWN AFJLDNSNKSJDG

YO KENNY'S ROBOT COSTUME ATE DOWN WHAT THE FUCK

real question: what money did kenny use to get this costume

sir u have money for maybe a pack of gum bffr

anyways

I'm ignoring this pirate ghost storyline/necrophilia storyline :/ it's weird

NOT STAN AND KYLE DON'T HURT THEM

excuse me...what

OH GOD NOT KYLE'S GRANDMA BE VOMITED BACK UP

the seizure warning was not mentioned OWCH

wenSLAY EATING THE COSTUME CONTEST AGAIN... SHE DOESN'T MISS EVER

EPISODE 11:

what in the pokemon ripoff is this

"but MEEEEEM"

DON'T STEAL FROM KENNY CARTMAN

no KYLE he's gonna be called OUT

GERALD KINDA ATE

no bc I don't think kyle's gonna keep up with the fads tbh

and here we go

no kyle resist

NO NOT KENNY GETTING A SEIZURE

god I feel for kyle so much

kyle, baby boy, ur doing great

why they FACES LIKE THAT STOP

WENDY ALSO IN ON THIS OMG SHE'S SO CUTE

WHAT.

oh lord this is a dumpster fire

cringe

DAMN STAN IS LOST

they ALL LOST

parents ate

kyle babe HAHAHA

DEAD "YET" PLEASE

nah this was the worst kenny death I almost vomitted

EPISODE 12:

A SPELLING BEE? interesting

I was good at the spelling bee in grade 4 fun fact

liane she's so CUTE

"what's a homeschooled kid?" kyle PLEASE

ate down y'all are fucked now

cartman: :D

KYLE FINAL 3 LET'S GO KIDDO

what the FUCK IS THIS WORD

"what's your name?" "what's in a name?" kyle's whipped for rebecca

KYLE OMG A KING

it's two nerds in love :')

he tried his best

NOT THE BUBBLE

Y'ALL EVERYONE BE LOOKING AT HAMSTER BALL MARK ODDLY BUT CRAIG IS FUCKING PISSED OFF LNDFNDLSNGL

craig: stupid hamster looking ass i'mma smash you like a lawbreaker typa beat

now they ALL MAD

the kids are unhinged but they my kids

kyle singing outside rebecca's window that's fucking cute as shit bro

rebecca: :|

kyle wanting to ask rebecca to the school dance PLEASE SAY STAN IS INVITING WENDY PLEASE

KYLE AND REBECCA ARE QUITE CUTE OKAY PLS

SHE JUST GRABS HIM

KYLE AND REBECCA ARE PLAYING DOCTOR AWE

KYLE U GONNA GET UR BRAIN CUT OUT BOY

KYLE HAD THAT RIZZ but rebecca is brain dead, it's OKAY MY BOY

shit this monkey killed my son

I'M CRYING KYLE AND REBECCA ARE SO CUTE

OH MY GOD THEY GONNA KISS FDBDFSJKBSDGBKGFSBKGDSS

STOP THEYYYYYYYY OH MY GOD FDSKJBGKJSDBBGKB this is so cute it's cavity inducing

kyle being the cutest to rebecca but stan FORGETTING WENDY ???? SO FUCKING WEIRD STAN stop beating on kyle for his little crush

YO WHAT THE FRESH HELL REBECCA ??? she's a child hooker ???? kyle is screaming into his pillow

not kyle getting the shit beat outta him

NOW Y'ALL WANNA BE TEAM MARK ??? VERY WEIRD

this ep was funny okay I'll admit

EPISODE 13:

omg STARVIN' MARVIN' IS BACK LET'S GOOOOOO <3

future viv note: my notes on this episode did not save but it was very good tbh, marklar.

also the star wars refs were funny too

kyle also slayed

EPISODE 14:

also rewatching bc notes did not save

OH RIGHT THE WAR REENACTMENT

style vs cartman

SMORE'S SCHNAPPS

adults drunk af

MESSENGER BUTTERS <3

"PROSPERITAH" "CONFEDERITAH" "AUTHORITAH"

"GIVE UP, FATASS THERE'S OVER 100 NATIONAL GUARD GUYS HERE"

"SUCK MY ASS" LMAO

STYLE SLAYED

[feuqueerfire]

Island Part 1 Live Blogging

I didn't watch anything last week because of being overwhelmed and busy for the past 10 or so days but finally I'm ready to once again start a new show when I should be studying.

My main reason for watching this is really just Cha Eunwoo because I miss seeing his face. People seem to really like his character and say his acting improved so I'm even more excited. I wanted to start Korean sff shows anyway so might as well start here even though I got spoiled for a biiiiig thing that happens at the end of S2 and also people's reactions have been like good but not great.

Ep 1 (Mar 14)

ah they're toast

oh they're not speaking Korean

hello my beloved Eunwoo

i never know whether to trust this type of old man who is the lady's father's butler man and is some sort of mentor to her as well

oof the wedding dress monster killed and ate someone?

isn't there gonna be a fuss about the dead body

ah so the lady is a reincarnation of the woman in the white dress who previously died? and the man is the one who's been living at Tamara since then?

olden times Jeju - the guy was a child and was forced to become half human half demon. where's the other kid who became that way too

oh bulter sir where are you going and what did the student see?

lol we already saw the man being selfish and self-absorbed so that's not doing anything for me but ig he's also gonna become a demon now? also i originally thought the assistant who she told to look into those two men was him but ig it's a different man

A pretty meh first episode tbh

Ep 2 (Mar 14)

damn they really did this shit to the children

beautiful beloved Cha Eunwoo <333 I am very fond of him

oh the bulter mans is Miho's protector

the slug things are so fucking disgusting

these action scenes are so boring because they go on for too long, I don't care enough about Miho, it's only ep 2 so I know she's not gonna die or really get hurt, and the immortal guy is gonna come save her each time like bro move on why are the action and chase scenes so long

yknow I find Miho endearing when she's praying to God, Buddha and being nervous to go to sleep and her nervous mannerisms when the man in the dark comes to her room and I think it reminds me of Saras played by Ae in PS I Hate You

actually she's endearing when she's trying to get Van to sign the contract

damn is Van the one who killed Miho in her past life

also pretty meh for me, I don't care about the action, but I'm glad to see a bit more of Eunwoo and also I'm starting to be endeared by Mino

Ep 3 (Mar 14)

why the fuck is there a domestic abuse plotline fucking hell It's like I gotta either watch women being terrorized by men or turn to watch BL where they also sometimes treat women as evil caricatures like I can't

fucking hell and blackmailing her with her nsfw photos too I actually am so fucking annoyed why can't I fucking watch just a fantasy show

this is so fucking sad bro

I love Yeon-ji already

if Yeon-ji or Suryeon actually die or anything I'll be so fucking mad btw

(Linguistics) ahh I love Johan tryna get away with using banmal and referring to Miho as chingus but being shut down lol can't wait to hear him say noona

I don't care about the romantic hints toward Miho and Van whatsoever tbh

(Linguistics) please the way Miho is all wide-eyed and belatedly adds the -yo when she asks if he's really a priest

Johan is so cheeky I love him

Suryeonnnnnn if Bujille does something to her I'm gonna kill this show

nah the better save suryeon

the failed exorcism was pretty cool

This ep finally picked up. I'm glad we get our characters around each other now and some interesting things have started to happen beyond just "oh monster chases Miho and Van saves her." Most of all, I love Johan being daring and cheeky and beautiful and fun and eager.

Not a super big fan of female suffering due to an abusive boyfriend and threats of nudes/nsfw photos being leaked though like I wish it was just something else.

3 eps in a day oof

Ep 4 (Mar 15)

oh was the light-haired guy the other half-demon from the old days

omg the big devil tree-looking monster being maneuvered by Lee Suryeon

I know it's supposed to be funny that Johan was choking while Miho and Van were arguing but :) I dislike such incompetency and callousness for the sake of humour like first of all Johan was trying to help Miho, second of all we're supposed to think Van doesn't gaf but it's not like we're supposed to think Miho is like that too considering she's trying to convince Van to save Suryeon - so it's annoying that she has no worries about Johan

It's so fucking boring that we're on episode 4, both Van and Johan get to do cool action things and even if Johan gets caught, he can hold his ground for a bit with his cool sword, while Miho has yet to even improve in her hiding/escaping/running away techniques despite already being good at fighting and training. If she was at least able to get through to Suryeon with kindness or whatever, that'd be like something but she can't do that either and yells for Van constantly like okay I'm bored

well okay at least she got to speak to Suryeon and I guess some fucking light inside her made the Benjulle disappear

Ah Johan is so irritating when dealing with Van, ah so endearing

oh van calling upon Benjulle again for Suryeon's revenge

heh Van and the Gramma testing each other are so cute

did Johan leave the shrimp croquettes for Miho or is he just gone to the bathroom and will find them gone lol

I don't fully understand why Johan's doing this with Van? to test his strength? and also he wants his name? Edit after reddit thread reading: Someone said he wants to bring out the demon so that he can see if Van can control it enough so that the prophecy of him killing Miho again will come true or not. He left the shrimp croquettes so that she'd be busy eating those and not come looking for the two of them. that makes sense.

oh this is how Van had previously killed her. by his demon side coming out and stabbing her. oof Johan what have you done

A more interesting episode. I wish we got to see the weirdo abusive ex being ripped to shreds at least a little bit or maybe his dead body since we got to see Suryeon's bruised face and her vulnerable photos.

The Johan and Van fighting was pretty cool, one of the action sequences that I thought was actually fun because it involved things more than just chasing or saving Miho.

Also, I'm at least glad that Miho's rich and has connections because otherwise she'd be so fucking useless but then again, she's pretty useless with it too. She didn't seem to give a fuck when Yeomji first came to tell her that Suryeon was being abused, so I didn't think the 'empathy and kindness' would be her forte the way it is for so many female leads but then after she saw the state Suryeon was in, she did start to care more. I thought her having money would mean maybe she could actually get revenge for Suryeong but in the end, Van had to ask Bujille for help. Miho can't save herself which is irritating still 4 episodes in especially when she's been shown to know how to fight but she also can't help Suryeon much despite her status and money. What the fuck can she do by herself then except whatever pureness is inside her and whatever the prophecy will dictate?

I wish we got better-written, more interesting female characters. Yeom-ji is interesting so far, maybe she'll appear more later

Ep 5 (Mar 15)

blocked by own arm is expected

oh our affable Johan has shaking hands

I love the horror aspect of the tourist murder and organ extraction, please have more scary things

Miho fr went outside by herself in the woods after 1) the Dujille incident and 2) the Van incident? girl you are generally useless, why would you fucking do that

oh she's tracking Van's phone

Miho sounds stupid as hell with the "you promised to protect me and you did :>" like at least make her be like i believe you will overcome it or like something that doesn't sound so naive

and i wish they didn't have a romance because it doesn't make sense

pls not all the girls following behind Johan because he's so beautiful and he's relishing in that for sure oh this priest

Johan's a priest right, he likes girls fawning over him but he's not gonna fall for Miho right? I don't want another romantic line

Suryeon and Yeomji are fr best buddies, so cute I love them T.T

omg give me Johan backstory right now

so the Fox Demon is extracting livers until he finds 'his' and is aided by the evil half-demon? and then sometimes sliced up?

so this is Johan's brother at current time?

Guntan is the other half-demon

no but what exactly did that call that Johan got tell him? that they can't find his brother yet?

we're spending too much time at this orphanage and thinking about what Johan would say to his brother, so I... somehow doubt they'll actually get to meet oh no

girl this is so lol like Sujin's fiance probably gonna die and Johan's brother probably gonna die

like first of all after the lust demons have nearly killed her multiple times + Suryeon's lust demon infested Bunjille due to it trying to Miho, I feel like Miho should have enough brain cells to be like actually don't come near me

oh the husband died but at least Johan got to meet his brother; though he may die soon too who knows

Ep 6 (Mar 15)

more Johan and brother backstory

oh they're adopted by white people who have a sick child.... omg

they're gonna fucking do something to the kids T.T

I don't fully understand what happened but did they try to get Johan's brother's liver for their sick child? is that why he was sick also before they took Johan away? but why was Johan also clutching his stomach and blood on his shirt? Did the operation with the older sibling and white child not work so they tried it with Johan too? Is this white sick child the one searching for the liver now as the Fox Demon or smth? or is it Johan's brother since his liver would be missing, though that doesn't quite make sense with what happened with those other people that the brother worked with right?

ah the siblings are having a heart to heart but uhhh I feel like the "let's stay together" yearning of Johan is not gonna be long-lived

oh fuck the brother is so definitely working for Guntan or something rip

oh did Wonjeong betray Guntan and Van somehow? or accidentally betray them but Guntan believes she did it on purpose?

oh beautiful stag? reminds me of Shadow and Bone

why the hell on earth would Miho leave her friend at the funeral crying alone like

I so don't give a fuck about Van and Miho irritates me

oh the brother Chan-hee can't remember killing those people while he's a lust demon?

ah fuck Chan-hee asking Johan to kill him T.T

bro first I felt emotions for Suryeon and now Johan T.T poor guy

filing a teary Eunwoo on his knees looking desperate for later when I'm not feeling sad for him and he's not a priest

ah fuck desperate, desperate Johan but the lust demon wants to kill Wonjeong/Miho

poor fucking Johan really having to kill his brother

my beloved Johan nooo T.T

wait a second were there scenes after the title card each time?

oh Guntan has a fucking cult

oh what the fuck my beloved Yeom-ji T.T

Also, the thing that Chan-hee was getting and saying "It's not mine" is probably kidney and not liver lol I thought liver because they said that's what the Fox Demon stole but Chan-hee was not that.

Overall Thoughts:

The main female lead was whatever, wish she was just good at something. Whether it be at fighting demons (understandable that she isn't), was fighting back via kindness and empathy (I'll be forever floored that she's apparently feeling soooo much for fucking Van while her reaction to being told about Suryeon's situation was like hmm whatever just tell the cops), actual power due to her status/wealth/connections (but she couldn't even fucking put the abusive ex behind bars and couldn't keep her promise to Suryeon to get revenge for her and then dared to be like 'hmm idk how I feel about this' when Van got him killed), or her smarts (miss girl kept going everywhere in the woods by herself, including in the dark; she couldn't tell her friend to not come to her at night like this). She's not the worst ever because she can still stand up for herself and she has personality but I mourn that they've written her like this. I also just hate that the only other girl we've paid any significant attention to was Suryeon and I had to see her go through an abusive relationship; why can't we get some cool suffering, why do I have to see girls and women be tortured at the hands of men in this way every time?

Van is just fucking boring and I don't care. He's kinda cool but like he's not fun or interesting or endearing or tunning at my heart strings (except him as a child when he was being abused as he was trained T.T)

My beloved Johan <3333 Cha Eunwoo was my main reason for keeping an eye on this show since I watched True Beauty and was into Astro for a few weeks. He did so well <33 I liked his charming, cocky, beautiful character who was so intrigued by everything going on as if he really was 20 and curious about everything but also I liked his apprehension when it came down to it. The storyline with his brother was so T.T He had him for such a short time and it was so sad seeing him trying to do everything to save him and yet having to kill him in the end.

Also curious to see the evil brother half-demon Guntan and his sidekick niece Yeom-ji. They're both pretty cool compared to our 2 main characters. The Certified Noonas were talking about how cool Guntan is and all I could think about was "So, what if he's the devil, Rick? At least the devil has a job. At least he's active in the community." because mans is really active and murderous and a cult leader.

I wish the show flowed better in terms of the sequence of scenes and pacing and the main characters were more intriguing.

Rating: 6/10

[sora-of-uranus]

I ran out of space heres more.

Zukos sass to Lietenant Jee for the ice blocks. Its really fucking funny.

the patterns on the firelords dress robes are realllly sick. I think because its so many similar shades of red there was a real chance of blending together that the little gold details just add that little pop that makes it work. Plus it reminds me of snake skin or dragon scales.

Katara and sokka in the background when Aangs tryna cross into the spirit world. its some cute little comedy that I think works welll.

AANGS SPIRIT LITERALLY LEAVING HIS BODY WAS SOOO FREAKY BUT SO COOL.....Katara and Sokka joining is a choice.

"when have I ever caused trouble" and Iroh just looking so done with Zuko

the bar talk where they discuss some past adventures was pretty cool. I mean without the previous context of the animated show those references mean nothing but its cool to atleast say that the journey isn't as quick.

June. June rizzing up iroh and zuko being disgusted. June is so pretty. Have I mentioned shes pretty?

Wan shi ton (i never know how to spell his name sorry) he LOOKS imposing, he feels imposing, him being so aghast at "birdie"

SOKKA UNIRIONCALLY USING DISCOMBOBULATED. Its so fucking random.

SEEING THAT KATARA SAW HER MOTHER LITERALLY BURN TO DEATH! THAT IS INSANE. I personally didn't find the whole seening her mother scene emotional UNTIL THAT POINT. and then seeing Koh was wild. Although I think some of the fear aspect comes from KNOWING what he as a spirit does. It still a jump scare

seeing sokka hear 'hadoka' say that he isn't meant to have peoples lives in his hands. that hurt. I hate for waht it does to Hadokas portrayl BUT for sokka? oh it adds up nicely.

Perhaps I'm reading this wrong, but it feels like Monk Gyatso is similar to how Iroh was in the spirit world in Legend of Kora. Which I think is really intresting to have him just BE in the spirit world. It once again adds an intresting paralel between Aang and Zuko. AND seeing him tell Aang that it wasn't his fault, that he COULDN'T do anything, essentially telling him that leaving was the best thing he could've done for the world...it was really sweet.

ZUKOS JOURNAL RETURNS IN EPISODE 5. its so silly I literally love this journal.

AANG BURRYING AN ACORN AS AN OFFERING TO HEI BAI WAS SUPER CUTE. It felt different to the animation because it was a direct offering from Aang, rather than an indirect offering/promise to heal the world. It was a very nice change to the origional show.

Episode 6 the intro with the naration as Zuko checks his outfit. and then having Iroh correct his uniform for him. very sweet, going all in on the father son bond. "how do I look :3" "like a prince" IM SORRY I LOVE THESE ACTORS. they really do fit there characters.

Jee saying "he may be a prince, but hes not our prince" was GOOD. Espeically with Iroh going SO cold when he tells him off. Idk I like how they've changed Jee in this show, I think its for the better. Its great cuss you can understand WHY the crew feel this way when it comes to zuko yet you also feel bad for him. idk I think they just succeeded with redoing this plot line.

the main Roku shrine is STUNNING. all the small details, the the relics from past avatars, the actual marble (?) statue of Roku. God its stunning I love it. The forst sets always look a bit naf but the BUILDING SETS???? oh they fuck.

"uh, its me aang :3" god he's so silly. also I like that they make Roku kinda a joke. Idk its kinda stupid but his introduction is great. I mean its awful but also I love the way how hes just a goofball. I hate him but I love him. I get why he didn't stop the fire nation now.

"anything you need" "it has to do with Koh" "anything but that." IS PEAK DIALOGE I AM SORRY.

I find it intresting that they brought the comic lore into the show with the mother of faces. I mean the totem is...awkward? but its still intresting and I LIKE that they've taken this risk. I also like that theres this joint relationship between the avatarsa nd the mother of faces since she apparently brought itdentity to us. its cool.

this is so fucking small but having female generals at the war meeting.

OZAI IN THE MEETING IS SCARY. WHEN HE SHOUTS ENOUGH????? godamn. I have loved Daniel Dae Kim since lost so maybe this is me just fan girling.

IROH HAS HIS TOPNOT CUT OFF VIA ARROW???? okay I have a love hate relationship with this. it IS such an intresting display of the archers presision and also a GREAT attack via Zhao but also...ah. Wait have I misunderstood this scene? maybe I did but this is what I understood. oops? maybe?

THE BLUE SPIRIT MASK. On one hand it looks like someone 3d printed it. on the other hand it feels like mechandise you buy of your fav play. If your looking for critisism this mask will be a good place to start, if your looking to bully zuko for being a theatre nerd, this mask is a great pleace to start. ALSO WHEN HES IN THE RAFTERS AND ALL YOU CAN SEE IS THE MASK? motherfucker id thank that was a spirit. Im sorry the mask is both SO scary and so goofy and I think that really works for how INSANE zuko infiltrating this stronghold is. Like its a perfect blend of "shit hes like...actually a tallented dude?" and "shit he might be the biggest dumbass on the planet???"

I actually really like Aang and zuko fighting together on the wall. If they manage to get to season 3 I can see some REALLY cool edits to the dragon dance because of the framing. Its some really cool fight choreography.

I love that you can LITERALLY see Zukos thought process to put his sowrds to the avatars throat. can you see his face? no. can you still see the cogs turning? yes. Its really cute.

I love how they shatter the mask. I think it would've been better if they shot the other side so it makes a little more sense for Aang to unmask him then and there since he'd recognise the scar. But I do like the change in how he is hurt.

Aang and Zuko squabbling and him going "fine. have it your way" like brothers. Aang staring at him and zuko being pissed like an elder brother. Aang asking stupid questions like goat hair or rabit and then zuko literally answering it honestly. ( side note Aang praising zuko for how detailed his notebook is and essentially saying that it took the place of the mons in terms of helping him. you just KNOW that fucked this boy up.). I could write an entire post about how much this small scene means to me. I also love how you KNOW exactly what line caused Zuko to blow up at Aang. its a conflict between his true self (the caligraphy brushes and the jokes and the friendship) and what his father desires and what he fears. It's so good. and then Aang apologising for hurting him? AND THEN GOING STRIGHT TO THE AGNI KAI. God.

the change where Iroh trys to step in is...an intresting one? I'm not sure if I like it or not.

I do like that zuko attempts to fight back even if its just dodging for the most part. and then I like how Ozai doesnt even dignfy his attacks by using both hands becuase he KNOWS he doesn't need to. and then how Ozai puts zukos hand over his heart because he knows Zuko wont have the guts to burn him. even when he gives him the chance to end it zuko won't take it. that Agni kai scene really is intresting. I also like that they add a shoulder burn. its a very cool adition.

It is very cool to see ozai give him his quest. It STARTS as almost...pleasant? Like he sill has faith but the MOMENT zuko opens his mouth it slips stright into anger. AND THEN THE CHANGE SO THAT HIS CREW IS THE 41ST. THAT. MEANS. SO. MUCH. That is genuinely such an insane thing.

Episode 6 is genuinely the best episode of this show. It adapts the origional episodes and turns them into something great but also its own. I love Irohs naration I think it frames the episode really well.

Because they removed the Pirates I like how they changed who blew up zukos ship and how it was a small cruiser and not the whole ship.

I've been so negative to the LA so heres a few things that I genuinely loved. Spoiles ahead. duh.

Sukis eye make up. the yellow blend into red? a nice subtle change to her character design that reallly adds to her

Zuko having those avatar dolls and their eyes lighting up. was cute

Zuko getting so hissy and destroying his room cuss his journal was missing. very relatable, very silly, the way Iroh is just kinda there realllly shows their dynamic well and also shows how Zuko IS just a stressed teenager

all the maps and drawings on the walls. they are very pretty and I'd love to have some of them irl

the entire scene of Suki and Sokka training together. Sokka slowly following her, Suki directing his moves and changing his forms. it felt like a dance and reallly highlighted how beutiful and deadly martial arts can be. it was also just filmed very sweetly with little noise beyond a sound track and grunts. Genuinely the best scene of episode 2 (and maybe the whole show).

Zuko unirioncally trying to fight Kyoshi??? it was so random but SO fitting. I aspire to be as stupid as this dumbass.

Sokka going "leader vs leader" to Zuko when asking him to fight was very cute and I HOPE they keep this style of interactions in like season 3 if they get that far.

JET USING THE HOOKS ON HIS SWORDS TO CONNECT THEM AND USE THEM AS ONE LARGE EXTENDED SWORD??? so intresting. SUCH a good use of props and how dynamic the fights in this show COULD be.

Longshot. Idk they are just so funny to me, I love how they are just casually posed on a tree as they shoot the first arrow.

the mechanist telling Sokka that he's tallented when it comes to engineering. it was very sweet, although I feel like it might bite the writers in the ass eventually. but for now it was very sweet.

I know in a past post I complained that Aang taught her bending to much, BUT Jet helping her open up about her mother and it helping her bending was an intresting take. I can see why people would hate it, but also why people would like it. Its intresting, its unique, and introduces an intresting paralel of Katara struggling to bend because of her emotions, and (hopefully) zuko facing that same issue later on in the series.

OMA AND SHU. best change of the entire series, truly the ultimate step up from the og, it works so well. I've seen this change in fanfiction and always loved it there, so happy it's now in a cannon media. Also the art work as they explain is very very beutiful.

Jets actor is honestly pretty fucking good. his "I thought you were on our side. On my side" speech in episode 4 was very sweetly done and it FELT complex with his emotions. espeically the choked up "i am nothing like the firebenders" MY GOD. Its a different take on Jet that shows a bit more of his sympathy then in the show and I think it realllly works. Props to the actor.

Zuko struggling to lie during episode 4 and make up excuses as he walks around the prision. Its so fucking funny to see him struggle and be all "well...my comanders gonna be pissed if I don't get to my duty in times" its so funny. I love Dallas I think he does a great job with Zuko and his characterisation will only get better if the show continues.

changing it to Sokka and Katara in the cave from Aang and Katara is honestly pretty cute? I know it takes away from the building romance with Katara and aang (although the show has cut so many of their interactions then this time it really WOULD feel forced) BUT it does work to expand and examine the theme of family that Avatar as a thing LOVES. Its espeically sweet arfter we've seen Katara and Sokka struggling deeply with each others wants and desires earlier in the show (espeically since this is stright arfter Jet). ( I am slightly pissed that its KATARA who is the skeptic in the tunnels. they could have the same argument with Katara being the one to believe. but oh well). Their argument was well worth it, it was long building, and truly felt like the two had buckled under the stress of leaving their tribe. Plus with the glowing crystals its like they are surrounded by stars which I think adds to the idea of missing home.

finishing the song secret tunel to then go "yeah there doomed!" with the biggest smile on his face. 10/10 comedy.

The arctitexture of the Omashu palace AND the crystals he bends are extrodinarily stunning. I mean the crytals look like smash beer bottles when broken, but when they are crystals???? suppper pretty.

ZUKOS PONY TAIL DOES THE PONY TAIL SWING BACK AND FORTH! Okay I know this is dumb, ut in the animation it didn''t happen as much or as extreme so it pleases me that real world physics are happening. Plus its just so silly.

The earth benders talking about how much was LOST during Irohs siege of ba sing se was pretty powerful. I've always been slightly irked that they wash over Irohs past and that he is JUST a good person, so it felt pretty cool that they took the time to kinda have him be....confronted by it? "I was a soilder" "you were a butcher!". It was a very quick examination of grief and ptsd, we got to see Irohs own sort of views about what happened, we got to see another persons desire for revenge because of the war, it was an odd scene for what we know of Iroh but it WAS intresting.

The funeral scene. "what a great honour for you and Lu ten to die in service of the fire nation" AND THEN ZUKO ACTING LIKE IT WAS WRONG TO SAY THAT. god. And then offering the medal that lu ten gave him to Iroh to properly comfort him? I was sobbing. It was a beutiful examination of Zukos conflict with what is expected of him, and what he WANTS to do. and then sitting by his side when no one else would? and Irohs tears only NOW comming once Zuko joined him? It was reallly and beutiful scene. I am so happy they added this.

genuinely when it was revealed that the tunnels where changing??? chills. I expected it. but it still shook me to my core. Maybe its cuss of the funeral scene before hand but either way props to them.

Okay so the animals sometimes looks goofy, BUT they also express WHAT they are so well. I love all the animals they look so fluffy and silly.

Iroh using the chains against hte earth soilders, once again some fun fight choreography and I am living for it.

Katara finding the badgermoles reacting to emotions with like...wonder and then Sokka going all "soo uhhh Mr badgermole" Was SO cute and in character.

Sometimes theres issues with the earth bending speed, but in the Bumi and Aang fight I found all the speed rather fitting. When he threw rocks, he THREW them. espeically the smaller rocks those shits are DEADLY. I mean that recreations of the animations scene where he bends over the rock looks goofy, like I get it but it didn't quite translate well BUT The rest of the fight looked pretty good. (and whilst I GET why it was important for Aang to face this challenge of this or that, it was upsetting for BUMI to be the one to do that. There are multiple other characters where it would make more sense, with Bumi being an old friend it just feels wrong. "you think like a child" "Is that really so bad?" was very sweet though.). I think Im a little over critical of what they've done to Bumi. it is a sweet story line and I can KINDA understand Bumis stance. realistically it wasn't that awful of a change its just jarring cuss its BUMI. Love his dress though I think it REALLY adds to this diversity of cultures and earth kingdom citys.

Seeing Zuko with that bandages arround his head and all his hair kinda really hurt. Also the use of leaves from the vine again. very sweet. "home. everything I need is on this boat" IT MADE ME SOB SO FAST. For all this shows changes, the changes they do with Zuko and Iroh work. The way Zuko saw the air bison and STILL chose getting his uncle to safty over even mentioning them? wonderful.

THE ICE DISKS! KATARA LITERALLY SAYING SHE GOT IT FROM THE EARTH BENDERS! its pretty cool. I like that they are already going deep with the benders taking elements from other bending styles is super fun!

Sokka and the little girl

[stricklanderkin]

[triplexdoublex]

12:05

Pairing: Colson x Reader

Warnings/tags: smut, cheating, drug use, mentions of foot-fetish, mild blood (nose bleed)

Welcome to my first Colson Baker (MGK) fic. I used a lot of lyrics and lyric references in this. My goal was to make it seem like this toxic relationship and coversations between his and reader are what inspired a lot of his songs.

*************************

“C’mon get up,” your best friend Shawnie nudges you, pulling back the sheets of her bed she’s been kind enough to share with you since the breakup. “It’s almost noon,” 

“Grmmphf,” you groan tugging the sheet back over your head.

“I’m not gonna let you stay in bed all day again, crying over ‘Machine Gun Kelly’,” she says as she raises the shades on the window; the midday sun bright rays beaming through the thin sheet over your head. “It’s been three weeks now, get up. We’re gonna have a girls day.”

“He has a real name, you know,” you mumble from under the sheet. “Colson”

“Oh yes, Colson the compulsive cheater, how could I forget?” She rips back the sheet a final time.”How was he dumb enough to get caught this time?” She emphasizes, knowing it's not the first time you’ve caught him cheating. “Lipstick on his shirt? Hickey?” She taps the bed, “I mean it! Up! I'm taking you out.”

“Ughhh fine,” you prop yourself up. “Nudes on his phone actually. Found them his first night back from tour.” You swing your legs over the edge of the bed with a sigh. “ Do you know that dumbass really tried to convince me they were mine, like I dunno what my own pussy looks like!” You let out a half- amused chuckle.

“Wow, that’s pathetic even for him,” Shawnie rolls her eyes. “I don’t understand why you keep going back to him?”

“I dunno — it’s just..” you rake your hands over your face and into your hair. “I can’t explain it --it’s complicated. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” Shawnie responds, taking a seat next to you on the edge of the bed. “Seriously, I’m listening. I just wanna help you get over him. I hate seeing you hurt all the time.”

“I feel like I’m addicted to him, like he’s my drug or something,” you admit.

“Except what fun is a drug if you can’t even get high off it and only experience the comedown?” She retorts.

“See that’s just the thing — you don’t know him like I do — there is a high,” you smile as fond memories flood back. “When it’s just me and him, when he’s just ‘Colson’, he makes me feel like I’m on top of the world. He treats me like a princess, he makes me laugh, he makes me feel good about myself, and OH MY GOD the sexxxx!” You whine, “You know I always talk about how good it is,” you laugh. “For real our sexual chemistry is just something I never thought I’d experience with anyone. He makes me feel so comfortable and open and unashamed of the things I’m into, and he shares a lot of the same desires. Everything with him is perfect... until tour starts up again”

“I can understand why all that’s important to you, but what about being faithful? Isn’t that important to you too?” Shawnie questions.

“Of course it is, that’s why I keep breaking up with him! And at first I hate him, I really do. I swear to myself I’ll never even talk to him again, but as the hurt wears away, I start craving him again,” A tear rolls down your cheek. “And then I start questioning myself like was I too hard on him? What do I expect from someone who’s living that rockstar lifestyle, getting high and drunk every night with gorgeous women just throwing themselves at him, ya know?”

“No, that is not your fault, you cannot be held responsible for him giving into temptations on the  road!” Shawnie exclaims in a motherly tone. “If he truly wanted to be faithful to you he would.”

“In Colson’s words he ‘fucks up when he’s fucked up’.” you defend him.

“Well maybe he shouldn’t get fucked up if he can’t keep his dick in his pants!” She expresses loudly.”Don’t make excuses for him... Now come on I’m taking you out today; my treat.” 

“Shawnie, really you don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine”

“Too late I already booked us appointments at the spa, and —” her voice then  shifts to a fast whisper “I may have set up a blind date for you with one of Gabe’s friends Kyle for later on tonight!” She finishes with a cheesy grin.

“Shawnie!!!” You gasp.

“Relax, I’ll be there with Gabe too. It’ll be a double date. We’re meeting at Club Hell at eleven. Now get up and get ready before we're late to our appointment.” 

‘Hell… how fitting. That’s exactly what this nights gonna be,’ you think to yourself. You’ve seen Shawnie’s boyfriends friends before and they’re not exactly your type.They’re  

just a bunch of preppy frat boys who’s penny loafers and crisp button down shirts scream ‘trust fund baby’ and ‘my dads a lawyer’.

*************************

In the passenger seat on the way home from the spa  you look down at your bright pink toes and can’t help but frown.

“What’s the matter?” Shawnie asks, nudging you with her elbow as she drives. “Do you not like the color?”

“No, no. It’s not that. I love the color, and thank you so much for taking me to get them done, it’s just that Colson always used to take me — the man’s a sucker for a fresh pedicure,” you answer smirking to yourself as you recall his peculiar kink.

“That is more than I needed  to know,” Shawnie’s eyes go wide while keeping them fixed on the road.

“Oh please like you don’t know every detail of our sex life already,” you say tapping her leg playfully.

“But feet is where I draw the line!” She exclaims, pointing a finger.

You let out a chuckle,“Well then I guess I shouldn’t tell you about the time he —”

“Blahhh blah blaaaa I can’t hear you!” Shawnie attempts to cover her ear closest to you with her shoulder, keeping her hands on the wheel, making you bust out laughing. “There’s that smile I miss, I knew it was still in there somewhere,” she smiles back at you. “ Seriously, fuck Colson and FUCK feet!” She laughs.

“I thought you didn’t wanna hear about that time,” you tease.

“What is wrong with you!!!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you clutch your stomach in laughter, “I couldn’t pass up that opportunity, you set yourself up for that.” 

***************************

Unfortunately Kyle is pretty much exactly what you were expecting and not at all your type but after a few rounds of drinks you decide to make the best of the night and invite Kyle out onto the  floor to dance  — Shawnie and Gabe to follow, the four of you forming a small circle. Not even five minutes into dancing you spot Colson entering the club with a tall brunette.

You grab Shawnie’s arm. “Look!” you say into her ear trying to be discreet about it.

“Oh my God, of all nights,” She rolls her eyes, “Is that the girl?”

“I dunno I didn’t exactly see her face, remember?”

“Is everything okay?” Kyle interjects, looking confused.

“It’s nothing, just someone I used to know,” you answer, returning to dancing as Colson and the brunette disappeared into the crowd. You were determined to have a good night, if not for yourself than at least for Shawnie. She was trying her best to help you get over Colson and have a good time. 

****************

“Wow, they really pack this place huh?” You yell over the music as the floor starts to get crowded. And as if you spoke too soon one of your elbows collides into someone behind you. Immediately you spin around to apologize. “Oh shit, I’m sorr — Colson!”

“Ah fuck man, why are you here?” Colson rolls his eyes, realizing it’s you.

“I could ask the same thing! I’m tryna have a good night and you gotta show up running shit.”

“Who’s this?” Colson’s date looks up at him annoyed before speaking to you, “Why you talking to my man?”

You throw your head back in laughter. “You’re man? Ha! You’ve got a lot to learn honey. Colson likes to run around. Colson’s everyone’s man! 

“Nah, c’mom,chill, chill,” Colson blocks his date with his arm as she tries to step to you. 

Shawnie reaches for you, pulling you back towards her by your shirt. “Let’s all be adults about this.”

“Fine!” you twist from her grasp. “Just stay away from me and I’ll stay away from you!” You shout at Colson before marching over to the bar. You need another drink. Your friends follow behind and Kyle sits awkwardly in the bar stool next to you. “Sorry about that, that was my ex, wasn’t exactly planning on seeing him here tonight.”

“No worries, seems like a total douche anyways.” Kyle responds.

“Yeah, something like that,” you answer in a daze staring into the crowded dance floor where you find Colson’s sky blue eyes locked on you from across the room. He watches you over the shoulder of his date, her back turned towards you.

“Can I buy you a shot?” Kyle offers.

“Uhh, yeah sure,” you answer, not paying attention, your eyes still focused on Colson.

Kyle pays for the shot, tips the bartender and hands you your shot. You don't even look to see what it is before throwing it back in one gulp. “Come on let’s go dance,” you slam the empty shot glass and  grab Kyle’s hand pulling him onto the dance floor, positioning his back to Colson. You don’t know what kind of game Colson is playing, but you can play it too — your eyes still locked across the room.

When the song changes — Closer by Nine Inch Nails now playing through the club speakers — Colson takes his game to the next level, grinding with “his girl” without breaking eye contact with you. You can’t decide if he’s trying to make you jealous or make you want him. And you can’t decide for what reason you keep playing along but it’s not long before you find yourself rolling your body against your date, your stare letting Colson know two can play this game.

“Damn, girl!” Kyle exclaims, shocked by your sudden shift in demeanour, his hands making their way to your ass, making you cringe internally at his touch. But you keep up the facade letting him push and pull your bodies together on the dance floor as Colson’s glare intensifies. 

‘I wanna fuck you like an animal, I wanna feel you on the inside…’  The chorus starts and you know things are about to get turnt up. Colson’s head dips down, his eyes still glued to yours as he sensually licks a stripe up his date's neck. Quickly, you spin Kyle around leaning into him as you grind your backside against the zipper of his denim. You reach behind your head with one hand, lacing your fingers in the back of Kyle’s hair and pull his face into your craned neck, simultaneously inviting him to taste you and shielding his view of you and Colson’s fervid eye fucking. You feel guilty feeling Kyle grow hard against you, knowing allowing his sloppy mouthing of your neck is definitely leading him on.

“Five.” Colson mouths to you, holding up the same amount of fingers behind his dates back, then motioning with his head to the bathrooms. You check your watch, it’s 12:00 exactly.

Five  minutes pass and you see Colson excuse himself to the bathroom. Immediately you push you date away frantically, making up a lie about feeling light headed and needing to go get some water at the bar, but head straight to the bathrooms. Inside the one person bathroom you find Colson doing a key bump of coke by the sink.

“What do you want?” You ask, annoyed.

“Ain’t that the tight little black dress from the first night we were together?” he asks, sniffing and wiping at his nose, as he locks the door behind you.

“Is that what you brought me in here for, to ask if this was the dress from our first date? You roll your eyes hopping up to sit on the edge of the sink counter, your fresh pedicured feet with open toed shoes dangling down in front of you. 

“MMMmmm you get them done just for me, baby?”

“Fuck off Colson, I didn’t even know you were gonna be here tonight, otherwise I wouldn’t have come,” you quip, folding your arms across your chest in annoyance. “Are you done wasting my time, I’d like to get back to my date.”

“Bullshit!” Colson calls you out. “ Little lawyer boy out there ain’t even your type, I know it and you know it. Your girl set you up on a blind date didn’t she?” He says cocikly. He knows you too well.

“You don’t know shit, Colson,” you lie, jumping down from the counter and heading towards the door to leave.

“Pretty impressive performance out there though, I gotta give it to you — .” Colson steps forward his body between you and the door, backing you back up against the counter. “-- letting him lick and touch all over you —-” he lowers his head, his whiskey-infused breath cascading over your neck and chest and he continues to speak. “-- knowing dayummm well you wish it were me.”

“You need to let me go, Colson. We’re over! You cheated … AGAIN!” You remind him, and apparently yourself, your head involuntarily cocking to the side, opening up your neck to him, your body half ready to give into temptation despite your anger with him.

“I’ll admit I took advantage of you every night that I was on the road,” he speaks in an apologetic tone. But don’t think for a minute i’ma let you convince me that what we started is finished, or for a second that I wouldn't take a bullet to the head for you!” He presses a single knuckle to your temple, his blue eyes piercing though your soul “You know we both want this. I know we’ve had some hard times but you said that even if it took forever that you and me would be together.”

 “You’re insane” tumbles from you lips in a last ditch effort to keep up your guard even though the breathy way it escape your mouth sounds a lot more like “fuck me.”

“Ok, yeah, I’m insane… but you the same!” He says, aggressively pointing at you and pressing his forehead to yours, his lips mere centimeters from your own.

You bite your lip; your guard, your walls, and common sense crumbling down around you. “We’re insane — both of us,” you laugh ,a single tear sliding from your eye. “I guess that’s just the way it goes.” You punctuate your words against Colson’s eager lips with a kiss.

There’s no turning back now, your fingers hurriedly undoing the buttons on the placket of his pink devil shirt as his hungry mouth devours kiss after kiss until you can barely breathe, his hands cupping your face so tight. He tastes of weed and whiskey, but you welcome the nostalgic flavor on your tongue. You slide his now open shirt off his shoulders, and let your hands trail down his tattooed torso. 

“Fuck, I’ve missed this,” he growls breaking the kiss, quickly lifting you back onto the counter, and letting his shirt fall to the floor. Nestling his face into your neck and hair, he breathes you in as if his memory is bottling up your scent for later.

“Colson,” you whine needily. Desperate to feel the heat of his mouth connect with your flesh, you rake a hand through his tousled bleach blonde locks, pushing down on his head until you feel his wet tongue begin to lap at your clavicle. You lean back against the mirror in pleasure as his tongue writes a sonnet across your neck and chest. He spreads your legs with his knee, your tight black dress inching up your thighs the wider your legs go. His hand slides up the expanse of your inner thighs to your core. Hastily, he pushes your panties to the side, the tips of his pretty painted fingers toying with your clit. The faster he rubs the faster and more sporadic your movements and breathing become, your body begging to be fucked. “Uhhh, Fuck me!” Your words echo your body’s pleas.

“Mmmmhh, he lets out a throaty rumble. “Thought you’d never ask,” he smirks, reaching for the delicate waistband of your black lace panties. He quickly pulls them down, struggling when they get snagged on the stiletto heel of one of your shoes. “Fuck it,” he laughs leaving them stuck in exchange for undoing his cherry red belt. With his belt undone he upzips his dark denim jeans pulling them and his ethika boxers down in one motion, springing himself free.

Wrapping his arms around your thighs he yanks you towards him, your ass teetering on the edge of the counter. With a hand behind each knee he shoves your legs back, bending you into one of his favorite positions; folded in half, legs up by your head. He loves how deep he can get like this. 

Still holding your legs back, he bends down, lowering his face to your core, tasting you. 

“Uhhhhh, Fuck, Cols,” you whine with eyes squeezed shut, griping his hair as he moves his tongue in a wide stripe from the bottom up, pausing to focus his attention on the sensitive bud at the top. 

“Ummghmm,” he hums against you before lifting his head. “No time for this right now” he says with glossed lips “but God, I had to taste you again.”

He removes one of his hands from your legs and grabs himself, bringing the tip to your entrance. Quickly, he slides it back and forth through your wetness before pushing in, a low gravely moan falling from his lips as he bottoms out. 

“Shit… Fuck...Oh my God!,” You slap a hand over your mouth.

“Nah, ain’t nobody gonna hear you over the music out there, baby” he says brushing your hand away from your mouth and replacing it with his lips, as he thrusts.

You moan into his mouth and he moves his lips lower, kissing down your neck, so he can hear your pleas of “Harder”. He obliges driving his hips forward with more force, and quickens his pace, the back of your head banging  against the mirror so hard, you swear the both of you are about to have seven years of bad luck. But you don’t care, the slight curve to his perfect cock ramming repeatedly into your g-spot. 

“Feels so good , uhhh right there. Yes!”  You scream out.

“Mmm, yeah you gonna cum for me baby?” 

“Ssso close.” You know you're practically guaranteed to cum before Colson; the man could go all night, often making you cum two or three times before he’s done. But you don’t have that kind of time tonight in this tiny club bathroom with both your dates nearby. A few more hard thrusts and your orgasm begins to  peak in your abdomen, the feeling as surreal as the Dali tatt on his back your fingernails are raking down. “I — I’m Cumming! 

He keeps up his pace, chasing after his own release, groaning with each clench of your walls as you ride out the waves of pleasure.

Still not there yet, he quickly pulls out, grabs you up by your hair, and shoves his cock into your mouth.You can taste yourself as he rams his cock in and out of your mouth. “Yeah, love watching you getting your throat destroyed’” he grits between his teeth, watching in the mirror as he face fucks you. “Uhhgh, gonna —” he exhales heavily, filling your mouth as he holds your head in place. After the last drop is out he pulls you off him with a ‘pop’.

The silence is awkward as you both get dressed, nothing but heavy breathing in the air. “Ah, shit,” Colson breaks the silence, a slow trickle of blood coming from his nose.

“Sit, sit. I’ll get it,” you insist, hurriedly grabbing some toilet paper from the stall, as Colson takes a seat on the counter. You dab at the dripping blood and pinch his nose shut. “Here hold this, like this,” you say, guiding his hand to his nose. “You really gotta stop doing coke, ya know.” you say in a caring tone as you finish buttoning up his shit for him.

He gives you a  simple “thanks” with a genuine appreciative smile. “Guess we would get back out there,” he gets off the counter giving his nose a final wipe.

“Yeah, Shawnie’s gonna kill me when she finds out.”

“Shhh,” he shushes your lips with his finger. “The homies don’t gotta know.”

[thelittlestcheshire]

even if you have to cry, don't let your crown fall

a love letter to luxor’s ches elswood

Well, it’s finally time that I feel ready to post this, and while I’m aware it may be bittersweet with my upcoming departure, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Today I present to you a three hour Ches playlist, divided into sections and covering her entire time at Luxor, from when I first picked her up in June of 2019 all the way to now. There’s quite a few plot references, and small (and not as small) references to other muses throughout, especially when it comes to Elliot, so keep an eye out for those as well!

I’d like to thank Lex for giving me the idea to make these, and her support throughout the process because without her, these playlists wouldn’t even exist. And thank you to everyone who has gone on this journey with us, while I’m sorry I need to dip out early after this event to focus on my health, I love y’all so much.

The standard Ches tws apply (poor mental health, alcoholism, etc etc), and anything I think may be a bit abnormal / section exclusive is noted on the sections.

twist me like a key, then you open the lock | pre-luxor:

the section of time before I played Ches at Luxor, very James heavy. additional tws: Death (Sign of the Times), Toxic relationships (nothing explicit tho)

Sign of the Times (Jasmine Thompson) [ Remember everything will be alright. We can meet again somewhere, somewhere far away from here. ] // Sweet Ophelia (Zella Day) [ Singing like it's a full moon, careless now that he has you. Turns you on to the right songs, promises that you're hooked on. ] // Couple of Kids (Maggie Lindemann) [ Now I'm fallin' heavily, recklessly, trying not to lose my sensibility; but gravity, it pulls me into you. ] // Glowstick (Sofia Karlberg) [ You play me like a line-up; long con, you make me wise up. ] // Crying in the Club (Camila Cabello) [ Ain't no crying in the club, hey, hey, let the beat carry away, your tears as they fall, baby. Ain't no crying in the club, hey, hey, with a little faith, your tears turn to ecstasy. ] // Ember (Katherine McNamara) [ Reignite; you lost your grip on me, and now I blaze wild and free. ]

nobody shows up unless i'm paying, have a drink on me cheers to the failing | summer & fall 2019:

the first time I was at Luxor playing ches, from June - October 2019

7 rings (Ariana Grande) [ Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch. Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage? ] // I'm a Mess (Bebe Rexha) [ “It's gonna be a good, good life;” that's what my therapists say. ] // OMG (Little Mix) [ Oh my gosh, I did it again. He said I broke his heart, it keeps happening. ] // Only Angel (Harry Styles) [ Couldn't take you home to mother in a skirt that short, but I think that's what I like about it. ] // LA Devotee (Panic! At The Disco) [ Drinking white wine in the blushing light, just another LA Devotee. ] // Woman Like Me (Little Mix feat. Nicki Minaj) [ I made a few mistakes, I regret it nightly. I broke a couple hearts that I wear on my sleeve. ]

all of this emptiness i've been sharing, it never comes when i want it to | winter 2019:

the period of time Ches went home to be with her family and was away from luxor additional tws: vomiting (Habits (Stay High))

Carmen (Lana Del Rey) [ Darlin’, darlin’, doesn't have a problem lyin’ to herself ‘cause her liquor’s top shelf ] // How You Remind Me (Avril Lavigne) [ And I've been wrong, I've been down, been to the bottom of every bottle. These five words in my head scream, "Are we havin' fun yet?" ] // Playing God (Paramore) [ This is the last second chance (I'll point you to the mirror). I'm half as good as it gets (I'll point you to the mirror). I'm on both sides of the fence (I'll point you to the mirror). Without a hint of regret, I'll hold you to it ] // Habits {Stay High} (Tove Lo) [ Staying in my play pretend, where the fun ain't got no end. Oh, can't go home alone again, need someone to numb the pain. ] // Bedroom Window (The Pretty Reckless) [ As I look out of my bedroom window; is it all real or just fantasy? I have lost touch with what makes me human, I have lost touch with reality. ] // Impossible Year (Panic! At The Disco) [ There's no sunshine, this impossible year; only black days and sky grey and clouds full of fear. ]

i wouldn't say you got the best of me, i'd say you got me somewhere in between | spring 2020:

Ches’s return to Luxor, and the months following leading up to her mass text about Leo’s dad following the Lake Bash

3 O'Clock Things (AJR) [ Would you go running if you saw the real me? Maybe you'd love 'em, yeah, maybe you'd feel me. ] // Wild Heart (Bleachers) [ Well, everything has changed and now I can't tell what matters. I will find any way to your wild heart. ] // Rise (Katy Perry) [ When the fire's at my feet again and the vultures all start circling. They're whispering, “you're out of time.” But still, I rise. ] // Don't Stop Me Now (Queen) [ I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars on a collision course. I am a satellite, I'm out of control. ] // Princesses Don't Cry (CARYS) [ Girls, so pretty and poised and soft to the touch, but God made me rough. Girls, so heavy the crown, they carry it tall, but it's weighing me down. ] // Save Rock And Roll (Fall Out Boy feat. Elton John) [ You are what you love, not who loves you. In a world full of the word 'yes', I'm here to scream... no, no (no, no). ] // Making a Monster out of Me (Katherine McNamara) [ And I don't know how to recollect the morals that I always did possess. Don't know where its leading me. ] // We Don't Have To Dance (Andy Black) [ You're never gonna get it, I'm a hazard to myself. I'll break it to you easy. This is hell, this is hell. ]

tonight it's alright, i can see the tunnel at the end of these lights | summer 2020:

summer camp and the months leading up to a new school year

Night Owls Early Birds (Foxes) [ A wild fire inside me burns. Why do I look like I'm wear for worse? Save me, save me, go underneath the ground. ] // Too Much (Carly Rae Jepsen) [ When I party, then I party too much. When I feel it, then I feel it too much. When I'm thinking, then I'm thinking too much. When I'm drinking, then I'm drinking too much. ] // Royal Blue (Alberto Rosende) [ My regrets are a shade around my neck I know. It's torturous, and there's a burden that I can't let go. ] // Who You Selling For (The Pretty Reckless) [ And when Roger showed me I was building a wall. I've been waiting a long time, waiting a long time, waiting a long time, waiting for it to fall. ] // Heavy (Linkin Park feat. Kiiara) [ You say that I'm paranoid, but I’m pretty sure the world is out to get me. It’s not like I make the choice to let my mind stay so fucking messy. ] // The Archer (Taylor Swift) [ I've been the archer, I've been the prey; screaming, “who could ever leave me,” darling. But who could stay? ] // Everybody Lost Somebody (Bleachers) [ And there's a reason I wake up alone in strange places, a reason I see myself in a million faces, a reason I can't stop it all from changing. So come on, motherfucker, you survive, you gotta give yourself a break. ]

no cameras catch my muffled cries. i counted days, i counted miles | fall and winter 2020(/21):

a new school year, from the start of the semester right until the aftermath of the kings’ party

So It Goes (Guards) [ I don't know who I am but I do know who I'm not. I'm just looking for a friend, I'm still searching for the plot. ] // Wasabi (Little Mix) [ Love to hate me, praise me, shame me; either way, you talk about me. ] // Think Before I Talk (Astrid S) [ Maybe I should think before I talk; I get emotional and words come out all wrong. Sometimes I'm more honest than I want. ] // Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince (Taylor Swift) [ No cameras catch my muffled cries. I counted days, I counted miles to see you there, to see you there. And now the storm is coming, but... ] // Sober Up (AJR feat. Rivers Cuomo) [ Won't you help me sober up? Growin' up, it made me numb, and I wanna feel somethin' again. ] // The Show Must Go On (Queen) [ Empty spaces, what are we living for? Abandoned places, I guess we know the score, on and on. Does anybody know what we are looking for? ] // Waiting For A Friend (The Pretty Reckless) [ My head is like a prison cell, I'm all by myself. I'm waiting for my friend to come and break me out. ] // Sober (Demi Lovato) [ I'm sorry that I'm here again, I promise I'll get help. It wasn't my intention, I'm sorry to myself. ] // Eight (Sleeping At Last) [ I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut, and bury my innocence. But here's a map, here's a shovel, here's my Achilles' heel. ]

i got this handled, i don't need rescuing | spring and early summer 2021:

ches’s progress from the end of march until now

The Man (Taylor Swift) [ I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I'd get there quicker if I was a man. And I'm so sick of them coming at me again, 'cause if I was a man, then I'd be the man. ] // Princess (FLETCHER) [ But we're all going through it, so why do we do it? Why do we hide? ] // Humpty Dumpty (AJR) [ If I can't breathe, then you can't see, but aren't you excited that I'm giving you the best me? ] // My Mistake (Gabrielle Aplin) [ Am I jaded? Am I meant to feel this way?  I'm a loser, getting beat by my own game. But if I falter, well, at least it was my mistake. ] // The Climb (Miley Cyrus) [ The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking; sometimes might knock me down, but no, I'm not breaking. ] // breathin (Ariana Grande) [ Some days, things just take way too much of my energy. I look up and the whole room's spinning. You take my cares away. ] // Clean (Taylor Swift) [ Ten months sober, I must admit just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it. Ten months older, I won't give in, now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it. ] // Not a Pop Song (Little Mix) [ A hamster on a wheel that's how it feels tryna be real. These unrealistic expectations said we'll make it if we fake it. ] // Queen (Loren Gray) [ Eyes on me like I'm a prize but you better recognize I'm not your angel 'cause I belong to me. ] // The Cure (Little Mix) [ This happiness was always inside me but Lord, it took a minute to find me. ]

[awildeternity]

 It then addresses DRAKE'S ILLEGITIMATE DAUGHTER? Literally crazy. Says that her father's a misogynist, that he hates women and assaults them and all that. Kendrick literally starts shooting some brand new info in this song that no one in the public knew about. I'm not too well versed in the topic, but that also happens to be the one part Drake even responded to, basically being like "I don't have a daughter??" It compares Drake not claiming her to Drake’s father not claiming him, history repeating itself and all. It says he’s a narcissist, misogynist, obsessed with money and how to spend it instead of things that matter like family and all of that. It is also ANOTHER bit of Uncle Kendrick being a better father than Drake by saying that he never wants to see her chasing after men because of her daddy issues, never trying to get a sugar daddy for validation. Genuine good advice that makes this even more disturbing, because he doesn’t sound angry, he sounds genuinely disappointed throughout all of this. All of his thoughts can be resumed in the absolute disappointment towards Drake’s actions. AND THEN IT TALKS TO DRAKE. AUBREY GRAHAM. Kendrick lets him HAVE IT. Tells him that he shouldn’t have mentioned Kendrick’s family, that K-dot wasn’t going to be a hater until Drake pushed too far. CALLS HIM OUT ON EVERYTHING. CALLS HIM OUT FOR BEING A FUCKING ABUSER, A PSYCHOPATH, A MANIPULATOR, A WOMAN HATER, FOR GOING TO WHORE HOUSES AND LIKING FUCKING CHILDREN. HE SAYS THAT HE’S A FUCKING LYING ASS, TRIFLING ASS BITCH. He says he’s entitled, he says he should get therapy, that his identity is always ‘on the fence’ because he never chooses between being white or black or anything else and always just does whatever is best for him and that he should figure it out. Calls him out for being a body shamer too, which is even more ironic considering the weight loss roasts from earlier, and that he lies about religion, surgeries, accents, pasts, all of it is a lie. Ghostwriters, crewmembers, all of it is a lie to put on a persona. It is legitimately Kendrick telling Drake to get the fuck away from this fucking rap battle and go take a long, deep look in the mirror and reconsider himself. 

That was 21 odd hours ago. During that time, everything seems to have escalated. Everyone is either telling Drake to give up or defending him with their LIVES. Which, you do you, but then, Kendrick drops something else. Not Like Us, his newest release, is basically the definition of childish insults mixed with his usual incredible lyricism. Shots fired mixed with a more energetic beat that contrasts against the somber, hauntingly beautiful instrumental of Meet the Grahams. Kendrick literally says to call an ambulance for Drake, to nail him to a cross and that there’s a bunch of jabronies trying to act like they’re from Compton and from the hood, another diss to Drake’s culture appropriating shit. The industry may like Drake more, but he doesn’t care because Drake has gotten so many enemies that it barely matters. Kendrick LITERALLY says that he will hide the Bible if God is watching, putting away his christian values to fuck Drake’s ass up, not pulling any punches anymore. 

It’s also the first song to actually call Drake a pedophile, making a reference to “Certified Lover Boy”, another song by Drake, and calling him a ‘Certified Pedophile’, which is just vile. There is so much CHILDISHNESS in it, despite it all, with the lines like “Make sure you hide your lil’ sister from him” or “Tryna strike a cord and it’s probably A-Minor” (which is FUCKING DISGUSTING I cannot believe that is an actual bar from this song I am SICK) that are just all jabs at him. He also once again calls out Drake for using 2Pac’s voice, saying that the Bay, aka the California Bay area, won’t let him disrespect Pac at all and that he’s ready to fuck him up because ‘Oakland will be his last stop”. There’s so much to dissect in all of the songs, but basically, Kendrick throws all of the stops out of the window, making fun of Drake in the most taunting way possible, as if provoking him to do something. Kendrick has legitimately called out Drake for pedophilia, sexual assault, for being a manipulator, scam artist, culture appropriating scumbag that barely deserves any recognition, while also wishing the best on his children and even going so far as to hope for his success and his getting better in parts of Euphoria as well as the end of Meet the Grahams. It must be humiliating for someone so famous to be brought so low, I’m sure, and Drake is probably going to respond, even if there’s hardly anything he could say that brings him back at this point, unless he brings forward some MASSIVE allegations that I doubt he has access to. 

Kendrick Lamar vs Drake, my own little rant

FIRST OFF, THIS HAS CREATED SOME OF THE MOST IMMACULATE MUSIC I'VE EVER LISTENED TO. I AM VIBRATING AND NOT MANAGING TO CALM DOWN, SO I'M GOING TO RANT ABOUT IT. There's so much background to this. Drake was the one to originally put Kendrick on the world stage. Kendrick was literally an opener for one of Drake's tours back in 2012. That was before Section.80, which was Kendrick's first real studio album, and even then it was more of a mixtape at the time. So, Drake and K-dot were always basically involved with one another. However, while I don't know all of the background to it, I'm pretty sure Drake has been taking shots at literally like half of the rap game for the past few years. Future, A$AP Rocky, Kanye, and obviously Kendrick a couple of times. Saying that his first big hit was basically because of Drake, and that he kept doing features with big artists like Rihanna (LOYALTY.) and SZA (All the Stars). This all leads to a lot of bullshit recently. I'm not EXACTLY sure on the timeline (Feel free to correct me if there is anything wrong), but there are a couple of notable events, notably Drake using a *AI VOICE OF TUPAC* in a song (which led to him getting a cease and desist and a LOT of heat because, well, obviously.) Kendrick accuses him of being a culture vulture, basically trying to appropriate the Black US culture that he did not grow up with. LET'S REMEMBER DRAKE WAS ORIGINALLY BORN IN A GATED COMMUNITY FOR WHITE PEOPLE IN TORONTO. HE HAS NEVER BEEN "HOOD", NEVER LIVED THROUGH GANG VIOLENCE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. HE STEALS ACCENTS TO SEEM LIKE HE BELONGS AND BASICALLY APPROPRIATES THE CULTURE LIKE A BITCH. I'm pretty sure J.Cole also dropped a song that called himself, Drake and Kendrick the "Big 3" of the Rap Game, to which Kendrick responded in Like That by saying "Fuck the Big 3, [] it's just big me." which obviously means that he considers himself a step above both of them. That's basically when we get to the most recent stuff, and the MEAT of the topic. Drake drops Push Ups. It is some tame shit, let's be honest with ourselves. That song calls out the fact that Drake "handed" Kendrick his first number one hit, which, yeah, he kind of did, but whatever. There's picks at Kendrick's height, his foot size, the fact that his label TOP DOG takes 50% (Hence the lyrics "drop and give me 50" and the push ups title, dropping a song and giving TPE 50% of the profits) Also calling K-dot "wiped down" by more popular artists like SZA, Travis Scott and 21 Savage. Also weirdly enough taking a shot at Metro, a producer that had worked with Kendrick on Like That, but like, why??? AND THEN. FOR A FEW WEEKS, KENDRICK SAYS NOTHING. ON TUESDAY OF THIS WEEK, THOUGH, HE DROPS THE ABSOLUTE BOMB THAT IS EUPHORIA. Euphoria is the title of Drake's show he co-produced that got a bunch of heat for having some weird sexualisation of teenage girls, which is already a pretty good hit, but the LYRICS THEMSELVES. KENDRICK LITERALLY CALLS OUT DRAKE ON SO MANY THINGS. Talking about how he's not a rap artist but a scam artist that wants to be accepted (culture vulture, again), talking about the Tupac shit with "I'd rather do that than let a Canadian [] make Pac turn in his grave", once again calling out Drake being fucking CANADIAN and trying to appropriate the culture. Also making a reference to YMW Kelly and calling Drake and J.Cole his "friends" (YMW Kelly murdered two of his friends, hence why that is a diss and not a compliment.) I have to comment on the absolute HATE FEST too. "I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk, I hate the way that you dress I hate the way that you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it's gon' be direct We hate the bitches you fuck 'cause they confuse themself with real women And notice, I said "we," it's not just me, I'm what the culture feelin'"

[littlespaceporgs]

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along! 

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

 Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

[spookyold-saintjm]

Care - Part 2

[gif: @starsfleets]

Javier Peña x female reader

| Part 1 | | Part 3 |

Warnings: language, sexual references

Word Count: 1.9k

Summary: The day after your conversation with Javier, things are bit tense between you in the office.

a/n: So I decided to make this one a short series! Probably only another couple chapters, but I’ve been dying to write a little Javi again so here we are. If you’d like to be tagged in future updates don’t be afraid to ask! Much love. x

———

“You look fresh back from a trip to hell.”

Jesus, you had just walked into the room. Your hair was at least somewhat disheveled, your shirt probably wasn’t tucked in all the way, and your head was slightly tilted downward both because you wanted to avoid drawing attention to the dark circles under your bloodshot eyes, and because the lights in this building were so damn bright and jarring. Who the hell thought this lighting was a good idea? Could you get them fired? Fuck them. And fuck Steve, too.

You stopped in front of his desk, as he stared at you with furrowed brows despite the twitch of a smirk threatening to break across his face. Apparently, it was quite obvious that you’d had a rough night.

You rested your hands flat against his desk, your head drooping all the way downward before slowly rolling it back up so that you could meet his eyes and reply flatly, “Shit, Murphy. You could charm the pants off damn near anybody with talk like that.”

From behind you, you heard Javier snort at your words as he sifted through files at his own desk. Your muscles tensed at the sound, but you pretended as if you hadn’t heard him.

Steve only blinked back at you, his smile almost widening as he rolled his pen between his fingers. “What brings you in here?”

“I’m out of smokes.”

He let out a small sigh before reaching for the drawer in his desk to pull out the carton of cigarettes he kept there. You held out your hand as he dropped one of them into your palm, then mumbled a low thanks as you reached for your lighter in your shirt pocket.

“Glad to be of service,” Steve replied, looking back down to his paperwork. “I thought you were supposed to be sitting in on a meeting downstairs?”

“I’m headed there next,” You replied, sitting on the corner of Steve’s desk while you lit the cigarette between your lips. 

You couldn’t help it; your eyes flicked across the room to where Javier sat as you took the first long drag, but you didn’t bother to actually acknowledge him beyond letting your eyes lock for the seconds that you released the smoke from your lungs in a slow exhale. “I wouldn’t dare skip out on a date with Coronel Carrillo.”  

Javier had opened his mouth to speak, but his jaw suddenly clamped shut. You then turned your gaze as if you’d never seen him sitting there at all.

Steve had looked up long enough to catch this silent exchange between the two of you before he replied. “Yeah, well, try not to linger too long so that the three of us can finish going over these tapes when you’re done.”

“No promises.” You kept your voice even as you joked. You stood from where you’d been perched at the edge of Steve’s desk, and slightly raised the hand that held the cigarette between your fingers in an appreciative gesture. “Thanks for your contribution.”

Steve shrugged. “Any time.”

As soon as you were out of the office and out of sight, Steve’s head jerked over toward where Javier sat, stone-silent, staring hard at his desk with a pen in his hand but having yet to write a single word.

“You gotta be kidding me, Javi.”

Javier didn’t look up. “About what?”

“Don’t start that shit.” Steve sighed. He jerked his head toward the door you’d walked out of just moments before. “How long has that been going on?”

Javi was shuffling through files in his desk drawer; whether he was actually working or just trying to look busy could have been up to anyone’s best guess. “There’s nothing going on.”

Steve sighed and dropped his head into his hands with an exhausted chuckle as Javi only further confirmed his suspicions. “Jesus Christ, Peña.” Even for Javi, getting involved with someone in the office, someone in such close contact almost ever hour of every work day…it was risky. If not just flat-out stupid.

Steve lifted his head, looking back over to his partner. “You know how much trouble you could get in if somebody finds out you two are—“ Steve raised his eyebrows, lifted his hands in the beginning formations of a gesture most definitely not embassy-appropriate, but Javier cut him off with the loud thunk of him slamming his desk drawer closed.

“I said it’s nothing, Murphy.” Javi stood, gathering together various papers on his desk into a single stack in his hands, forcing him to keep his head down. “It was a one-time thing.” A pause. “You saw it yourself. She didn’t say a single word to me.”  

“Nah, you’re reading it all wrong.” Steve leaned back into his chair and crossed his hands together behind his head. “I saw how she looked at you. And we both heard what she said. How she said it?” Javi’s eyes flashed up at Steve, almost as if he were considering but decided against it, as he continued. “She’s tryna rile you up, bud. Win the argument.”

“We didn’t—“ But instead of finishing he sentence, Javi gave up with a short sigh as he put out his cigarette into the ash tray on his table before picking up the papers again, tapping them on his desk a couple times to straighten the edges. “Whatever, man. I don’t have time for your love doctor shit.”

Steve’s eyebrows rose, a lazy, amused grin splitting across his face. “Love, huh?”

Javier was half-tempted to throw the papers at his partner’s head as he stepped over to the door with them. “I’m taking these down the hall,” he grumbled as he swung open the door. “And going to ask for a fucking transfer while I’m at it.”

Steve only chuckled in reply as he dropped his feet back to the floor and leaned over his desk again to continue his work.

Javier was never known for being the best liar.

—

Shortly after your meeting, you were staring blankly at the coffee maker in the break room nearest your office, watching the thin stream of near-black miracle liquid pour into the empty glass pot, waiting for the familiar, safe smell of it to fill the small room. You had one hand rested on the countertop, the other pushing back stray strands of your hair before rubbing small circles in your temple with your index and middle fingers.

You felt a bit better on the whole, but the meeting had been…a lot. The situation with Escobar’s empire wasn’t getting any better, and his cunning relentlessness and the chaos it caused trickled down all the way through both this chain of command and through every facet of the Colombian government’s oppositional forces; one lead’s trail ending at nothing and another coming unraveled with more and more innocent people dead in the streets.

Not only that, but there was also the fact that your mind kept going back to the way Javier’s eyes had tried to silently plead with you in the split-second you’d looked at him while in he and Murphy’s office just a couple hours earlier. For what, you weren’t sure. And you didn’t particularly care to know. But that didn’t mean you’d be able to stop thinking about it, about him, any time soon.

“y/n.” As if he could read your thoughts from down the hall, his baritone voice floated through the room from behind you.

“What do you want?” You asked, unmoving.

Javi took a couple steps further into the room, leaning against the wall as he pushed a hand back through his dark hair. He waited for you to eventually turn around, your coffee cup now waiting in your hand to be filled as you stared back at him expectantly.

He sighed before meeting your eyes earnestly. “I wanted to…apologize.” He swallowed quickly, watching you blink at him as he spoke. “I should have minded my own business last night.”

“Yeah. You should’ve,” you replied simply, though you let your expression soften somewhat. “I’m a grown-ass woman, Javier. If I make a stupid decision, the consequences are on me.”

Javi slightly cocked his head at the undertone of admission about your actions the night before. God knows he was just as guilty of the same things, and far worse for that matter, but…

“I just don’t want you getting hurt.” He said, his voice coming out quieter than he’d meant for it to. He looked down to the floor, collecting a thought before he lifted his head again. “I don’t…I don’t make a lot of friends these days.” A slight shrug tugged his shoulders upward, though his dark eyes were filled with intent sincerity as he looked to you. “I’d like to keep the ones that I do have.”

You allowed the stiffness in your shoulders to lessen as you sighed. Dammit, you hated how easy it was to forgive him. It was always like this.

And yet, you could see the sincerity in his face, his lips pressed tightly together and the focus in his brow, and you’d caught the almost nervous curling of his hand that wasn’t jammed into his pocket into a fist as his side when he’d spoken. 

He really did mean it. Of course he did, and you were glad to know someone who truly did care about your safety in a place like this, at a time like this. You just wished you could figure out what else it was that hung in the air between you as he waited for you to answer him with an anxious humming in his chest.

“Fine.” You nodded once before you turned back around to reach for the now-filled coffee pot. Javier’s presence lingered behind you, and you considered your next words with a grimace as you poured the steaming-hot liquid in your cup. “He was shit in bed anyways.”

Javier snorted a laugh, relief flooding him at your forgiveness as he pushed himself off the wall and walked over to stand by you, placing his hand on the counter next to yours as he looked over to you. His hand was close, almost too close to yours, and he’d quickly slid a few inches backward.

“You busy tomorrow night?” he asked. It was an innocent question, truly, nothing beyond a friendly invitation. “It’s been a while since we just…talked.”

You hoped he didn’t notice the slight falter in your grip as you put the coffee pot back in its place and turned to look at him again.

He was right. It had been a while. But the last time you’d “talked,” the night had soon shifted to the both of you becoming a mess of wandering hands and mouths and tangled limbs before you were even able to unlock the door to your apartment.

You could sense his acknowledgement of that reflected in the way he slightly pulled back from where you stood as you leaned back onto the counter and took a sip of your coffee, not wanting to appear overbearing. But you could also see his intention to make up for his intrusion the night before flickering behind his eyes.

You wanted to hate yourself for it, but you only shook your head, a weak smile crossing over your face once you pulled your coffee cup away from your lips.

“Not at all.”

| Part 3 |

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

Some ECW Raven hurt/comfort headcanons would be really rad if you don't mind writing them? 😳👉👈

Time for full disclosure here, nonnie mouse. I ABSOLUTELY fucking ADORE you for this. I love,love,love,love Raven. And I don’t think I can say it enough. I gotta admit, i was not expecting anyone to indulge me on my desire to write hc’s for wrestlers like Raven or edge or Jeff or anyone like that.. SO I AM WEEPING FOR JOY RN. These are all over the place. I tried to focus on strictly hurt comfort.. But some others snuck their way in too.

Warnings: none. We’re keeping it PG in this christian household on this Tuesday. Or we’re gonna die trying.

Tag Squad:

@kyleoreillysknee

@rampagewriting

@writertoo18

@thatnerdwriter

@wrestlingismyguiltypleasure

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@waywardwrestlewritingwaif

@cabotcoves

@unabashedwrestlefics

@adampage

@cowboyshit

@missjenniferb

@wrestlingthot

@wardl0w

[ tag list doc - masterlist - send me more. these are fun. but read this first.]

┎ Raven is a soft hearted guy, despite all outward appearances and claims to the otherwise. Also very empathetic. I firmly believe he’d sense a change in your mood the second it occurred. And he’d go into deep thought mode. First he’d analyze himself to make sure he hadn’t done anything to cause the hurt. Then he’d start to extend the web of deep thought outward. To others. God help any person who may be responsible, RIP. 

--for reference, see his Clockwork Orange matches. While not brutal, they do illustrate that the man knows his way around weapons and toys and... He will become sadistic enough over those he allows close to him to put his brutal knowledge in the ways of fucking rocking someone’s entire shit to use. So if anyone hurts you? They’re about to wish they died.

-- if he is the one responsible, he immediately owns up to his actions. Because he’s not afraid to admit when he’s being a stubborn, bull headed jackass. Because honestly? It’s often. And he takes extra care of you preceding his apology. He goes above and beyond to do his utmost best NOT to do whatever it was that he did to hurt you, again.

┎ If it’s an internal thing, he’ll just kind of pull you close, rest his chin on the top of your head while his fingers smooth over your hair. “Deep breaths. Eyes on me, sweetheart. C’mon, talk to Raven. I’m right here. I got you.” is repeated over and over in the softest gravel rasp like a mantra until you’re calm and you can relay the cause of the issue. After you’ve told him what’s going on, he will hold you more. Or pull you down onto his lap while he’s sitting on the stair. “What am I doin’ to fix this?” he looks at you, an earnest look in his eyes because he honest to god is determined to fix whatever’s wrong. 

┎  The man is your biggest supporter. And he is your personal bodyguard. You literally go NOWHERE without Raven present... Even if he’s scowling a little because he utterly hates crowded malls or theaters, etc. If you’re there, he’s going to be there too. Because it’s something you’re into, and he’s into you. 

┎ Is not a good patient at all when he’s the one who is ill. Gets downright testy and hates medicine. Especially that licorice flavored cough syrup shit. BUT BUT.. If you’re the one whose sick? Man is quick to call the nearest doctor and get detailed instructions... He’s written down ALL your symptoms and he checks your temperature religiously and has those at the ready, as well as his own googled diagnosis... While keeping a bit of a distance, of course. If you’re throwing up, he’s there with a cool damp cloth against the back of your neck. If you want cuddles, he will provide, however, it’s kind of those ginger careful cuddles. Like “Ayooo, I love you a lot but I’m not out here tryna get this shit too.”

┎ Sends clever little riddles in meme form when he knows you’re having a bad day. The downside to this is the man is a literal genius IRL, so.. Sometimes, that cute little joke takes 4 goddamn hours to hit you and make you laugh. But you love him for it.

┎ Once felt so bad that he forgot an anniversary that he made up for it in clutch by booking an entire week in a cabin, just the two of you. He bought you your favorite flowers every single day too. And he did all the cooking. TBF.. he does about 75 percent of it anyway? Because his love language is taking care of the people he loves as opposed to the words...

[starmakerdotcom]

summary : peach doubts himself once again.

characters : kwon baekhan , han jaeyi , rest of botanica ensemble mentioned (side note ; daniel’s korean name is jiwon and elliot’s is hanryeol , which is who jaeyi is referring to)

genre : tryna be angst but once again i cannot write angst but i tried

warnings : they say shit like twice , implied mental illness ?? maybe ?? he lowkey has a mini panic attack at the start . i don’t know if you can think of a better way to put it lmk also if u have a problem w the way i’m portraying this pls dm me !!! i’m always looking to learn more and i don’t wanna offend anyone <33

words : 1.5k

[ july 2019 , 1:34 am , SMK building rooftop ]

baekhan burst through the doors from the stairwell, immediately taking a gulping breath, taking in as much fresh air into his lungs as he could. he couldn’t breathe, he felt suffocated, like the roof was caving in around him. he needed fresh air, he needed to go outside, away from everything for just a minute.

he knew jaeyi would come looking for him eventually, he just needed a break, to get away from everything around him that made him feel like he wasn’t good enough.

take a break! jaeyi would say, you’re pushing yourself too much, you’ll regret it when you get hospitalized by passing out from exhaustion. that was ridiculous, he’d know when to stop himself. we can come back tomorrow! they’d say, but by that time it already was tomorrow, so he might as well stay the rest of the night, right? he was debuting in two weeks- oh god, he wasn’t ready for that. the others didn’t have to work as hard because they were gifted, naturally talented, and good enough to debut already. they didn’t understand that baekhan didn’t belong here. he was a fraud, he shouldn’t have made it as far as he did.

a fraud, untalented, not worthy, a fraud, a fraud, a fraud.

baekhan made his way over to the ledge, gripping onto the rail as his way of keeping himself grounded. the cold midnight breeze and the view of the entire city below him was strangely comforting. he exhaled for what felt like the first time in an hour, and just stood there for a second, his elbows supporting his body as he leaned on the railing, trying to clear his mind.

he hated the fact that he just got up and left instead of trying to calm down. even when he couldn’t breathe and it felt like the panelled ceiling of the practice room was falling and caving on top of him, running away from his problems wasn’t gonna fix them. bolting out of the practice room and hiding wasn’t gonna do anything, it just made him look like a coward.

he lowered his head, trying to calm his shaky breathing and trying to take his mind off the fact that the word kept dancing around in his head. fraud, fraud, fraud.

baekhan wasn’t that hard to find. after jaeyi convinced tian to go back to the dorm and sleep after he snuck out for much longer than he was supposed to, the rooftop was one of the first places he checked. although he was deathly afraid of heights and his legs shook every time he went up there, jaeyi had to somehow convince him to come back down and go back to the dorm with him.

he breathed a sigh of relief when he carefully pushed open the door to the roof and saw baekhan standing near the edge, leaning on the rail.

“baek?” he called as he made his way over to where the older stood, trying to block out the sound of cars rushing below them that made his head spin. baekhan whipped his head around quickly, but softened seeing it was just jaeyi. his eyes looked puffy.

“shouldn’t you be back at the dorm?” he asked.

“i came to look for you, you know i wouldn’t go back without you.”

“i know my way back,” baekhan replied cooly, “or are you trying to make sure i don’t off myself.”

jaeyi hesitated, “kind of? anyway- i’m talking you back to the dorm now. you need rest.”

baekhan sighed, “can we just stay out here for a minute? i need some fresh air, i promise i’ll come back after.”

jaeyi gulped, surpressing the urge to projectile vomit down the side of the building onto an unsuspecting driver below for the sake of his friend. “yeah, we can stay for a minute. i’m staying with you to make sure you come back.”

surprisingly, baekhan nodded in compliancy. “that’s fine,” he replied, turning around to slide down to a sitting position with the rail supporting his back, “i just need a minute.”

jaeyi sat down next to him, and the two sat in silence for a few minutes. although jaeyi was worrying about the possibility of the rail somehow giving way from the weight of the two scrawny boys and sending them tumbling over the edge, to eventually land in a sad pile as a gift to some poor pedestrian that just so happened to be walking at the wrong time.

“is there anything that’s bothering you? you don’t have to tell me, i just don’t want you to keep everything from me- i guess?” jaeyi asked.

“nothing that you can really help with,” baekhan mumbled.

“well- just tell me what’s on your mind, please? i might not be able to help, but maybe having someone listen will make it better?”

baekhan sighed, “maybe. it’s kind of complicated though.”

“try me,” jaeyi replied confidently.

nervously drumming his fingers on the concrete of the ground, he quickly said, “i’m not ready to debut.”

jaeyi blinked, “you’re being serious?” when baekhan nodded quickly, he continued, “you’re more ready than all five of us combined, where’d you get that from?”

“...because i’m not ready?” baekhan looked at jaeyi like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “have you seen my dancing? daniel has tried to help me so many times, and i’m still a horrible dancer. i don’t know how he’s so patient when i want to punch myself in the face every time i mess up the choreography.”

“i think your dancing is good...” jaeyi said quietly before baekhan continued, his eyes glossy from welling tears.

“i’m not ready, i don’t want to debut yet, i don’t even deserve to be here. you and daniel try to help, straighten your back, stick this move with your arms, chest out, neck straight, and i can’t fucking get it. i don’t know why i’m here. i’d probably be working at a fast food restaurant or something if i wasn’t here. i don’t deserve it, i’m not talented enough, i’m a fraud.”

jaeyi stiffened, not sure how to respond. he felt horrible knowing that his friend was going through this right under his nose and he had no clue. this wasn’t the confident, talented baekhan jaeyi thought he knew when he joined the company a few months prior. seeing him in a weak, vulnerable state like this filled him with an intense feeling of sonder. everyone around him, although they may have appeared fine, were living their own set of problems right underneath the surface that no one, or just a select few people even know about. but one thing was for sure, if kwon baekhan was anything, a fraud was most definitely not one of those things.

“you’re not a fraud,” jaeyi replied, and quickly added, “never were, and never will be.”

“you might think so,” baekhan quickly wiped a few stray tears away that had leaked down his cheeks and lowered his head again, letting his hair obscure part of his face, “i feel like it though. don’t bother asking why. i don’t know but i also do know.”

“i see,” jaeyi nodded slowly, “sorry- i’ve never been good with stuff like this.”

“no, it’s okay, it was actually good to get that off my chest, actually. i’ve never really said any of that out loud to anyone before,” baekhan reassured the younger.

“well- if you ever need to get anything else off your chest, come to me,” jaeyi said, “or jiwon, or sangwoo- eh no maybe not sangwoo, hanryeol- eh- tian- eh? maybe? me or jiwon would probably be your best bet, actually.”

baekhan laughed, and when he saw that jaeyi was starting to yawn, he said, “should we head back now? it’s late.”

“yeah, no shit it’s late,” jaeyi laughed with him, already starting to get up, “if you’re ready to go back, then yeah. i’d love to get off of this roof.”

“right,” baekhan followed, standing up as well. he almost felt lighter, like he could stand slightly straighter now, “that was refreshing.”

“you need sleep, i swear, have you seen yourself?” baekhan touched his face at that, and although he couldn’t see himself he could practically feel the dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep he’d gotten that past week.

“before we go back, c’mere,” jaeyi held his arms out, and when baekhan cautiously scooted closer, he grabbed him and enveloped him in a tight hug, baekhan immediately stiffening.

“you smell like sweat,” baekhan laughed, crinkling his nose.

“so do you,” jaeyi replied, “and can you please come to me next time you’re having trouble with something?”

“i’ll try,” baekhan mumbled into the taller boy’s chest, “oh god, what would i do without you, i swear.”

“ew, enough of that sappy shit- let’s get back now, or i’ll pass out in the elevator on the way back!” jaeyi said, loosening his grip around the shorter boy’s torso.

as the two boys walked off the roof and down to the elevator, baekhan felt a strange sense of relief that he hadn’t felt in what felt like years. and the rest of the night he’d stay up thinking- what in the world did he ever do to deserve a friend like han jaeyi?