#tryna figure out how to draw him properly

[scruncheduppaper]

tf2 shitposting again

[todayisafridaynight]

warm ups for today

[99liners]

Would you be willing to write a drabble of what it was like for kaiho jk’s wife during the months after their marriage? how he made her quit, when she began to notice his red flag behaviour etc

opus kaiho, drabble number 2 / tatemae series 建前:

pairing: detective!jeon jeongguk x trophy!wife reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut, marriage!au, age-gap!au (7 years).

words: 4.437.

warnings: NSFW, nothing too graphic, emotional manipulation, uncommunicative!jjk.

original one-shot: kaiho

part of: tatemae; 建前 — a bts series  

a/n: man, this is extremely self-indulgent in places. my mans is tattooed and owns a harley davidson, then there’s bam too... sigh, i just couldn’t stop myself. i am ashamed. it’ll probably happen again. 

also, posting this early cause i have to make my bb @afangirllikeme-blog ‘s day! and also @chicken-fifi who is tryna threaten me,,, oof love that energy. (*/ω＼*)

“hi,” jeongguk’s voice came out in barely a whisper due to the lump in his throat which he cleared out to mumble the hi once more.

“mm, mornin’,” you replied, a smile finding its way to your lips. eyes squinting to adjust to the sunlight seeping in from the curtains that you two must have forgotten to draw properly last night.

well, last night was wild and the aftermath was glaring at you — jeongguk’s brand-new black tuxedo lay scattered; the blazer was barely hanging from the back-rest of his desk chair, the white shirt was lying at the feet of the bed and the black trousers were nowhere in sight. on the other hand, your white wedding dress lay unceremoniously in the middle of the room, the untouched material glowed even in such a predicament.

however, your attention from the mess was pulled away as jeongguk shuffled under the sheets before getting on top of you. his fingers grazed your arm before his hands guided your hands up, on either side of your head before intertwining your fingers with his. he leaned down, face to face, your chests mere metres away from each other as he rolled his hips to grind his semi hard-on against your core. he halted his movements the moment he felt the tip of his length grazing against fabric instead of your soft folds.

“you are wearing panties? thought i ripped those,” jeongguk let go of your hands to sneak a peek under the sheet.

“it felt weird to sleep without any so i put on a fresh one,” you replied, your body ever so twitching wherever his body next touched yours.

he repositioned himself to rest his head between the valley of your bare breasts while his free hand travelled down to the hem of your panties, “you slipped out of my arms? impressive. i always thought i was a light sleeper.”

“a light sleeper? you snore so loud that you probably would sleep over a gunsho- ow!” you seethed when jeongguk’s mouth found its way to your right nipple and his teeth clamped down on it.

“mm. well, you learn new things every day,” his tongue flicked your nipple before his mouth closed down over the areola to suck on it.

you lifted the sheet to see your newly wedded husband sprawled over your figure. the muscles on his tattooed hand flexed as he maneuvered his hand to insert his fingers under the panties, his fingernails grazing against your swollen folds from the passionate night.

“i thought the morning after tradition was to cook the first meal in the matrimonial house.”

“but you have already cooked the perfect meal. see, it’s so sensitive,” jeongguk twisted his fingers to stimulate your bud which had your legs trying to clamp together — your toes curling up.

you bit your lip to not let out any sound, afraid to wake up your in-laws in the guest room. last night, you both might have drifted off and there was quite a symphony of sounds but you sure as hell do not want to scar them anymore. when jeongguk came up on top of you again, you pulled him down — kissing him. he kissed you back with the same fervour, his hand wrapping your neck, deepening the kiss. your tongues lapped, matching with the speed of his fingers scissoring inside your folds.

jeongguk shrugged the cover off of you two as it kept getting caught and restricted movements. once the cover was gone, he held his length at the base, allowing the tip to grind against your folds in a slow motion while the other hand held the panties away from your entrance. yes, this is what he was missing. 

you could feel your breath hitch, your legs vibrated in reaction to his ministrations but wait — they were vibrating a bit too strongly. you reached your hand down to retrieve jeongguk’s phone vibrating to indicate an incoming call. 

your husband stopped at once and took the phone from you, in a plea to take the call.

“hey hey, no work, we just got married,” you kissed him but jeongguk pulled back.

“it’s the precinct, i have to take it,” he took the call and concluded the conversation soon after.

“i thought you took a break.”

“i applied for a vacation but we are short-staffed so i didn’t get one officially. if it was another case, i would have not gone but i have to be there for this drug bust,” jeongguk was at his feet by the end of the sentence, wearing his underwear while his busy hands unbuttoned a fresh shirt.

“are you serious?” you supported your figure on your elbows, raising your top part to gain a better view of his actions.

“mm,” he hummed as he finished buttoning his shirt before throwing on a pair of trousers.

“what about me?”

“what do you mean?” he sat down at the edge of the bed to put his boots on.

you crawled to his side and sat on his lap, as he finished tying the laces, “you are going to leave your newly wedded very-much-naked wife alone? for work?”

jeongguk placed an open-mouthed kiss on your lips before transferring you off his lap to the bed, “i thought you knew i can never be off duty technically.”

“well,” you sighed, bunching up the covers on your body.

“make yourself home, i guess,” he trailed off, checking the case status on his phone.

you watched as your husband walked out the bedroom door, not even a second glance at you and closed it behind him. a few moments later the sound of another door closing let you know that he left the confines of your matrimonial house. so, there’s that. he left you in his home with his parents on the first morning after the wedding.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚. 

evening:

“mr jeon are you headed somewhere?” you asked upon noticing that jeongguk’s father came out of the guest room in a fresh pair of clothes.

“uh yes. my older son’s flight will be landing soon, i was thinking of receiving him at the airport,” the older man smiled at you, buttoning the sleeves of his shirt.

your hands mixing the cake batter (you decided to make cheesecake for dessert) ceased all motion at the mention of an “older son”. jeongguk has an older brother? since when? he never mentioned about a sibling.

“oh, yes, i thought he would join us during the ceremony,” you lied straight through your teeth after regaining your composure.

“no, his flight got delayed due to bad weather,” mr jeon took out his phone, “can you book me one of those internet taxis? uber or whatever it is called.”

“mr jeon, if you don’t mind, can i come along? i can drive us,” you offered nervously. the man scared the shit out of you — a retired army officer with a house decorated with medals. it always felt like he was about to yell at you.

“would you, dear? that would be great. i will wait here while you get ready.”

you debated if you should put in the cake in the oven now or after you come back when mrs jeon came out and relieved you.

“were you preparing dessert? don’t worry, i will look after it. you go with your dad,” she offered, smiling.

“amazing, i will be back in five minutes!” you chirped, wrapping the bowl of batter with a plastic wrap before heading to your new shared bedroom.

getting ready did not take long but finding jeongguk’s keys was impossible. your car was still in your apartment along with most of your stuff and you know that your husband’s old car sits in the garage, but you just cannot find the keys. 

“y/n? it’s been five minutes!” mr jeon’s call rang through your head.

“yessir. i cannot find the car keys, hold on please,” you replied while holding the phone to your ear, waiting for your husband to take the call. it rang and rang but he did not pick up. on your third try, he finally picked up.

“what?” his voice was rushed.

“where are your car keys?”

“you leaving me already? thought you would last at least a year.”

“haha funny, tell me. i need to drive your dad to the airport to pick up your older brother.”

“oh, yeah right. he’s coming,” jeongguk brushed over the fact that he has never mentioned about his brother, like it meant nothing, “my keys are in the wardrobe. it’s in the safe i think. the combination is 1609.”

“and, when will you be back?” you held the phone between your shoulder and ear as you opened the wardrobe and input the combination to the safe lock.

“soon. listen i gotta go, bye.”

he cut the call before you could reply. putting the phone in your pocket, you opened the safe door and saw two pairs of keys. ‘oh well,’ you took both the keys when your hand touched something metal. there was something in the back of the safe. curious, you reached out and brought it out only to realize it is a gun. an actual, real gun.

“fuck fuck fuck,” your hands trembled, and you put the gun back in the safe like it was some slimy disgusting bug.

“y/n?” one more call from mr jeon had you running out.

“sorry, sorry. let’s go!”

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚. 

at the airport, you noticed mr jeon walking towards the international flight entrance. the older brother lives abroad? what more is there left to unearth?

the ride back home was quiet mostly, the father-son duo did not talk much after the usual pleasantries. it was awkward, are they sure they are related?

once you guys reached, mrs jeon hugged her son and everyone went inside. you proceeded to park the car when you felt the bumper of the car hitting something. oh fuck. from the rear-view mirror, you saw that the car hit something wrapped underneath a white sheet. you finally parked the car properly before getting off and inspecting what is hiding underneath the sheet. a harley davidson street 750 peeked out from under the dusty sheet — oh right, there were two set of keys that you brought from the safe. once you finished fantasizing your husband riding the motorcycle, you turned your gaze to the bumper, it was crumpled inward where the exhaust of the motorcycle hit the car. you crouched down and pulled it out with all your might and tried your best to make it look unscathed and unscratched.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.  

after the dinner concluded, mr and mrs jeon went to retire in the guest room while jeongguk’s older brother, jaeyoung helped you to clean up.

“i am sorry, i have to admit but jeongguk never told me he had a big brother,” you confessed sheepishly as he handed you the dirty dishes.

“not surprised. we are not really that close.”

“i seriously would have no issue to postpone the wedding had i known that you were on the way.”

“don’t beat yourself up over it, it’s okay,” he reassured you.

“right,” you smiled, soaking the dishes, “so like are you in california for a job or have you permanently moved there?”

“oh, i moved years ago. see, as you can probably tell, i am nothing like my dad so he did not really care much about spending time with me. he was too much involved in gguk’s life and slowly we drifted apart. man, your husband and i used to be inseparable as kids.”

“no... that’s too bad. why did you guys stop hanging out?”

“well, when he finished middle school, dad put him in the military school because gguk had wanted to be a cop. i mean he was kid, he wanted to be everything at that age but my dad’s chest swelled up with pride the moment he learned his son wanted to be a cop. he thought it was ‘cause gguk wanted to be like him, like he was inspired by him.” jaeyoung scoffed before continuing, “even during middle school, dad used to personally train him and we spent less and less time before he was finally sent off. a year after gguk went away for high school, i also got accepted in UCLA and left. we just lost touch that’s all, never felt like coming back.”

“i bet mr and mrs jeon miss you,” you sighed feeling bad for your brother-in-law.

“well, they visited twice. once for my wedding and then when my first kid was born.”

“you have kids? can i see?” you wiped your hands and walked to the other side of the kitchen aisle as jaeyoung brought out his phone and showed you the pictures of his kids.

“this is the older one, jason. he is ten and my daughter jennie will be six next summer.”

“so adorable,” you beamed as he showed you pictures from when they were kids.

“yeah, surprisingly they both love their uncle gguk. he came to california for some international case and stayed a summer. the kids love that guy.”

“really? man, i wish i could see them.”

“well i would bring them but my parents don’t really approve of my wife.”

“huh, why?”

“apparently, she is too white for them,” jaeyoung shrugged.

“wow, that must hurt. i bet they are happy that you are happy. you have such a beautiful wife and adorable kids.”

“thanks, y/n. it was great talking to you, i guess i will get some sleep.”

“of course. hey, i know it’s not my place but i am so sorry jeongguk hasn’t clocked out of work yet to be here with you.”

jaeyoung chuckled, “hon, if you start apologizing for my brother’s shortcomings, believe me, you won’t ever be able to stop cause there is no end. have a goodnight.”

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

it had been barely two minutes that you closed the main door after your in-laws left for busan when the doorbell went off again. you noticed how the sharp sound echoed in the empty walls — proof that you were alone now.

“hi, can i help you?” opening the door, you noticed a man with a dog on a leash.

“hi, you must be mrs jeon. mr jeon asked me to drop off bam.”

“bam?” you stared at him, clueless.

“this good boy right here,” the guy patted the head of the doberman pinscher standing beside him dutifully.

“detective jeon’s dog?”

“yes, the apple of his eye. please don’t be scared, he looks scary but is a sweetheart,” the trainer spoke about his diet after taking the dog off the leash once you were all in the living room. he left shortly after petting the dog one last time.

long after the trainer left, the dog and you kept staring at each other. bam did not look too pleased to find you in his house. he circled you once, sniffed your clothes and sauntered to the couch to sit down at the edge.

once the dog sat down, your body unfroze, and you immediately dialled your husband, “we have a dog???”

“hey baby. bam has arrived? he was at the kennel since we got married. how is my boy?”

“unpleased. i don’t think he likes me.”

“he is still a puppy, he can be moody sometimes. don’t worry about it.”

“jeongguk. you have a dog. a dog you didn’t tell me about it. just like the brother you didn’t tell me about.”

“are you scared of dogs?”

“no! i love dogs. bam looks adorable but it would have been better if you had introduced us slowly so he could get used to me. that’s a doberman... one wrong move and he will have my neck... wait, that’s all beside the point. why the hell don’t you tell me anything?”

“i tell you things all the time.”

“yeah? if you did, i would not have a doberman pinscher glaring me down in my living room one fine afternoon.”

“look, we will talk when i get home, bye.”

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

two weeks later:

“jeongguk, i would really appreciate it if you would just talk to me more. tell me things,” you voiced out, changing the pillow covers while your husband was freshening up in the washroom, getting ready for bed.

“i am not a talkative guy, i never was,” he replied casually, after gargling out the toothpaste foam with mouthwash.

“i know but you used to tell me stuff.”

“what do you want to know?” he sighed, walking out of the washroom rubbing his face dry with a towel.

“i don’t know. anything really. i am bored at home.”

“let’s see, mmm, hyung flew out tonight.”

your head snapped up at the statement as your hands stopped midway through pulling the pillowcase on the last pillow.

“what?” jeongguk plopped on the bed, stretching his limbs.

“your brother flew out tonight and you didn’t tell me?” your tone dripped sarcasm.

“yeah i mean, not like you would have gone to the airport to see him off.”

“uhm, y e s, i actually would have. see this is what i am talking about! you don’t tell me shit! you are always off to work while i stay here cooking and cleaning without any information. you come back home at odd hours, and we rarely talk. you eat, we fuck and then you drift off to sleep for barely four-five hours and then off to work again.”

“baby, come here,” jeongguk reached out his hand and tugged you down on him. you lost your footing and fell on his chest, but he caught you effortlessly.

“no! you always do this,” you kept trying to push him away, but he laid you down beside him, his face hovering over yours.

jeongguk leaned down, placing kisses on your lips till you finally gave up and kissed him back, “mm, how do you manage to look so hot all the time?”

“smooth talking isn’t getting you out of anything,” you pried his hand away that had slithered under your dress. 

“come on, i am barely home, let’s not fight,” he trailed kisses down your neck, his hand massaging your breast, his touch was rarely gentle these days.

you sighed, “that’s the whole point. you are never home.”

jeongguk stopped, hung his head low for a few moments before getting off of you, “look, i have a bad headache. let’s just sleep,” he laid back down, resting his head on the pillow.

you turned to him, feeling bad. suddenly it went from him not communicating with your properly to feeling guilty because you could not relieve him from the work stress he probably goes through every day, being the senior detective of the most active precinct in seoul cannot be an easy feat.

“i am sorry for nagging,” you bit your lip, sitting up, “i will get you some aspirin.”

“no, it’s fine. come here,” he pulled you back down again next to him, wrapping his arm around your waist, throwing his leg over your lower body as he got comfortable and closed his eyes.

you watched quietly as his breath evened out and he fell into a slumber. you shifted a bit sideways under his arm to get into a more comfortable position and watched bam walking inside through the half-open bedroom door. you advanced your hand towards him which he licked once before lying down on the floor under your side of the bed. big sleepy baby yawned and went to sleep. you smiled — that dog was literally what kept you busy all day but he is such a well-trained sweet baby that most days you two just laze around on the couch and spent quiet days watching television while he chewed on his toys as you rubbed his back and gave him all the scratches and kisses, he could ever ask for. bam has gone from sniffing you suspiciously to absolutely adoring you. his face lights up when you come back after grocery shopping — poor baby hates being away from you. jeongguk often teases you that you stole his dog.

well that’s what he gets for never being home. 

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

“why don’t you consider going back to work?” tanaz asked as she took a sip from the second bottle of beer, one fine evening as you met up in a restaurant nearby to hang out.

“oh god, that’s another conversation. i keep bringing it up that i want to go to work and he keeps brushing it off, saying that he might get leave for a vacation anytime soon,” you replied, playing with the label on the beer bottle.

“doesn’t matter. also, why do you need to ask him before going back to work?”

“not like i am asking for permission... i am just... talking to him so he’s on onboard too.”

“babe, that is asking for permission. since when did you become like this? you guys barely tied the knot like a month ago.”

“three-and-a-half weeks and i don’t know but it’s just this aura about him, i don’t know how to explain it. you would know if you are in his company,” you rolled your eyes when tanaz interrupted with a ‘like i would ever’, “look, i don’t know, okay? i just don’t. but i cannot just do something without him being onboard at least because like, how is that marriage? you gotta communicate.”

“yes, i agree with that.”

“anyways, what’s up with you? what happened to the whole surgeon situation?”

“looks like i am going to have to be his bride.”

“you serious?” you finished peeling off the label, a bad habit when you have a lot of things on your mind — you get too fidgety.

tanaz snatched the destroyed label from you, putting it away wrapped in a tissue to be cleared later on, “yes. i really expected better from my parents. i mean, i never grew up hearing even a single word regarding marriage, they were never like you are a girl so you have to get married early but suddenly, this guy walks in and they cannot stop yapping about him. they literally call him their son-in-law. i am literally sitting there bro, their own daughter.”

you sighed, “i never realized it was that bad. do you want me to talk to them?”

“you can try, i will appreciate that. just don’t mention that you are married or they will get on with the whole ‘omg your friends are getting married too’ bandwagon.”

you deadpanned, “bro, they literally came to my wedding and attended all the marriage ceremonies.”

tanaz face-palmed, “i am not getting out of this alive.”

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.  

three days later:

“gguk, we need to talk,” you exclaimed, breathless after jeongguk let go your lips from a heated make-out session in order to unbutton your shirt.

“don’t cockblock me like this, baby. we can talk later, i ain’t leaving,” jeongguk trailed kisses down your collarbone, his hands unbuttoning every button with ease.

you re-buttoned them after he unbuttoned them, “really? it’s two in the morning and you just came back from work. come morning, it’s monday and you are going to leave for duty by eight. when will we talk?”

jeongguk groaned loudly, his lips detaching from the supple skin of your throat. his head hung low at the crevice of your shoulder before he took a step back, “what is it?” he rolled the sleeves of his sweat-drenched shirt, a bit stained from the coffee he spilled earlier at work. he leaned his weight on the hand placed flat on the kitchen counter, effectively cornering you in your place.

“i keep waiting but your vacation request keeps getting pushed back. i am going to work from tomorrow,” your eyes cowered every now and then as his towered over you.

“am i not earning enough for you? is that it?”

“what? where is that even coming from? i just want to keep busy. i get bored around here.”

he took steps towards you, your feet backing up in tandem till your back latched to the wall, “i work my ass off, sometimes even clocking in more than twelve hours so i can give you everything you want in life, so i can take you on that stupid fucking trip to paris and this is what i get when i come home late at night, clearly tired from working all day?”

“bu-but, look, all i am saying is that you don’t have to do it alone. we can save up together,” there was a desperation in your voice, desperation to get out of that predicament; both physically and emotionally.

“baby,” jeongguk’s features softened, his hand coming down to cup your cheek. if you didn’t know better, you would have flinched at the sudden actions, “i hate coming back to an empty house. if you are gone, i would keep thinking about your safety instead of focusing on work. plus, we have bam. he is smitten to you. wanna leave him all alone in this house all day?”

“we can get a trainer or put him in doggy care,” you mumbled, feeling the back of his fingers caressing your cheek.

“would you be able to do that? leave him off at doggy care? you won’t miss him for a second?” he leaned, resting his forehead gently against yours.

“i would miss him but we both would get used to it,” you tried to reason, looking up at him.

“mm? please, don’t go. i really don’t want to come back to an empty house. i have done it for years but ever since you have walked into this house, i just cannot even imagine that. i swear worrying over you would be the death of me. can you please do this for me? please stay back,” his doe-eyes burned through your eyes — his gaze was not sharp, rather quite gentle, vulnerable even and you have never seen him so vulnerable, so close to you.

being unable to refuse him in such a state, you nodded slowly — earning a kiss on the forehead before he spanked your ass, pushing you towards the shared bedroom.

“go ahead, i will change and join you,” your husband smiled at you, before winking in your direction.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.  

feedback is deeply appreciated. ✨

masterlist | bts masterlist | rules | ask box

- jaimie

© 𝟫𝟫𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓇𝓈, 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟤. 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃.

[harveylikestoart]

I am SO curious in the Ghost of Nick Close AU as to Nick's reaction toward seeing Glenn again post prison, how UNHINGED he'd become, naming the Rat 'Nick Jr' and how much of it was clearly through him being fucked up over losing him...

I have tried drawing this multiple times over but I can’t get it right so you only get the initial reaction. How DARE Glenn wear an armour suit at all, that stuff be annoying af to draw.

I’ll write down the idea I had for it all tho 🤘

So like what happens is Nick sees his dad and is, obviously, pretty damn stoked! He starts striding up to him, containing his excitement and saying “shit Glenn, you look badass!! I know doing time makes some people grizzled and all but holy shit!” Tryna keep it chill you know?

He goes for a handshake but Glenn just walks right through him. Nick stills as Glenn keeps going straight for Nicholas. When Glenn puts HIS hand out for a predator shake Nicholas just looks at his hand and then past him to where Nick is staring at them with this look.

At this point Nicholas feels a little bit angry FOR Nick. Because on the way there I’d say that Nick would’ve been hyping up this moment. Nicholas can see him, cool. Rad. But his DAD? OBVIOUSLY they’d immediately be reunited, nothing could keep the Close boys apart! They’re thick as thieves and all they have is each other so Glenn would DEFINITELY be able to see him!!

Yet there he sees basically his new best ghostly friend fuckin HEARTBROKEN that this didn’t happen. That they’re both so close and yet so far. The one person Nick had left. But also now this asshole just walks up to him like all’s good? Like being a shithead during the adventure was just over? So Nicholas just brushes it off with veiled annoyance and tries to just get back to his dad. Also to subtly try and check on Nick.

HOWEVER, Nick Jr on the other hand is confused, he saw a vaguely human shaped blob pass through Glenn and it smells just like him AND this kid that Glenn approached. So like, he doesn’t know what the fucks up with that.

Nick’s kinda just shrugging it off at this point, burying down the crushed emotions and moving on. If Glenn can’t see him now maybe there’s another way!

Then boom Glenn goes to attack Jodie and Nick is just feeling so many things, his dad just attacked this guy thinking Nicholas is HIM. Nick at first didn’t appreciate Jodie like, at all, but he’s seen how Jodie acts with Nicholas, he’s attentive, he makes sure he’s doing okay and he’s PRESENT. He would never admit that he’s slightly jealous, because that’s lame, however watching his dad rage at this guy feels really not goooood.

Updates on everyone else’s knowledge of the situation at this point.

Jodie: doesn’t know anything but thinks something is bothering Nicholas and is concerned about THAT.

Darryl: Paeden fuckin told him and he was trying to figure out how to tell Glenn when they got the chance.

Ron: listened in to a few of Nicholas’ convos and kind of got the gist before Darryl explained it properly

Henry: he did a little wild shape at some point and saw a blurry ass humanoid blob around Nicholas before they made it back into Meth Bay, consulted the other dads and Darryl filled him in on what Paeden said.

Paeden: realised that Glenn can’t see Nick and that this entire thing is very fucked up! He would like this fixed real fast!

Anyways Nick does not realise that Nick Jr is there until he fuckin climbs out while Paeden and Glenn attempt to finger tut and he’s like “HOLY SHIT RATATOUILLE.” Then yadda yadda he screams at the sight of spider Henry, spider Henry sees blurry Nick blob again.

[kaitosimp]

It's been a hot minute since I've posted Kaito art 👁👄👁 Once upon a time I posted a drawing of my talentswap bois with a new one I never got around to making, bUT I got in the zone a while ago to properly give him a drawing so here he is!! Kaito as the Ultimate Gamer 🕹✨💜

As always I have to say that I'm not that good at drawing but for once idc cause I had so much fun with this!! I love videogames and I adore Kaito so you can imagine how happy I was while drawing 🤚🏽💕 I think there's a total of 23 game/general gaming related references so truly, all the kudos and love to you if you can identify them all!! 🌚💜

He listens to Game Over by Falling In Reverse religiously and his one game weakness is horror games and I love him very much <3 True to my Kaito loving self I thought of some hc's for him which are below (finally figured out how to do the keep reading thing asdfghkl) but yeah hope you guys like him as much as I do!! :] 💞💞💞

-He will play any and all games

-Even horror games but he kinda sucks at them cause he gets scared all the time and dies

-Lowkey competitive and a perfectionist, he needs to get ALL the trophies and achievements but he enjoys the game and plot first

-Shuichi and Maki literally have to force him to sleep cause otherwise he stays up all night playing games

-If he had to pick a fave genre it'd be action games, fighting games or racing games

-His phone ringtone is the Super Mario Bros theme song

-Kirumi, aka mom™, always scolds him for slouching and corrects his posture

-Constantly browses the interwebs for new or rare games/consoles/merch/etc he doesn't have yet (someone help this man and his bank account)

-He has rows upon rows of games and don't even get me started on all the consoles he owns

-Besides playing videogames, he likes watching gaming documentaries and movies (especially the movies)

-His fave one is probs Wreck It Ralph and he cries a lot during the "I'm bad and that's good, I will never be good and that's not bad, there's no one I rather be but me" volcano scene

-His lab is literally designed after an arcade

-If he plays games with his friends he will literally only let Himiko, Gonta, or Chihiro win, the rest will get obliterated into next week (not even his sidekicks get the special treatment)

-He will fight you if you think yourself a superior/true gamer just cause you play action packed games and hate on people who play "cutesy" or chill games

-He ALWAYS has a handheld console and does not go anywhere without one

-He got scouted by Hope's Peak when he won a fuckton of gaming competitions

-He always commissions Rantaro for artwork of his game characters

-Likewise he always commissions Sayaka for character costumes he wants to wear for cons (everyone is talentswapped so Rantaro is the ultimate artist and Sayaka the ultimate cosplayer huehue)

-His hoodies are sacred and so far he's only let Shuichi wear them

-He started a gaming club in the school and they meet up every Friday to chill, play games, and have friendly tournaments

-"Press f to pay respects" is his mantra

-He happens to like outer space a lot since he would always stargaze with his grandparents

-Hence why he automatically loves any game setting in space (cue Rainbow Road being his fave course in Mario Kart)

-He can probably tell you the history of gaming from the creation of Spacewar and Tennis For Two to the modern day in one sitting but he literally goes like 👁👄👁❓ for a sec tryna remember what he had for dinner last week

-One of his future goals is to create his own videogame

-Loves interacting with people online/through multiplayer, he has an endless amount of virtual friends

[miastideclock]

Stray Kids Reaction To Their S/O Being Shy About Their Singing-Talents

anon asked:

Can you do stray kids reaction to their s/o being a good rapper and singer but they get shy and have low confidence? - 🐻💙

Of course love! I hope you like it x So sorry for the wait! While we're here, I just wanna say I'm sorry for the length difference of the individual reactions! * y/n/n is what i use for your nickname btw

Word Count: 3.5k-ish

Bang Chan

Silence. At least for the most part. You clicking the keyboard of your computer, Chan humming slightly as he clicked around on his own, as well as twisting and turning the dials on his audio mixer, connected to said computer. The sounds had sort of blended into the silence though, so neither of you really noticed it at this point.

A click louder than all of the others soon came from Chan's computer, meaning he was going to connect his progress to the speakers of his studio, so he could fully take in the track he was working on. He had played it what seemed like a million times already, but you didn't mind. You were already so phased out that he could be announcing the break up of Stray Kids', and you honestly wouldn't even catch it.

The familiar beat of their upcoming title track boomed through the speakers, and as if on autopilot, you sang along. You had heard the beginning of that very song so many times now, the lyrics were as good as engraved into the inside of your eyelids.

Once the first verse and chorus were over, the song stopped, as did you. It was when the song didn't play again you finally snapped out of your computer-trance. You shifted your eyes from the screen over to your boyfriend who was sitting on the other side of the room.

"Y/n."

You then realized you had been singing along, and probably not as quiet as you had thought. "Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to distract you. I'll keep quiet." You quickly apologized.

You were hanging out with your boyfriend, yes- but he was still at work, and you'd hate to be the reason for him switching out of his creative-mode.

"No! No, no, don't worry. You're just so good? How come I have never heard you sing before?" Chan grinned as he turned his spinny-chair to face you and fell back into it, looking at you with admiration.

You had been sitting on the floor with your back against the seat of the couch, so the coffee table by the mentioned couch had your laptop at shoulder-height, meaning you had to close the screen of your computer to see your boyfriend. Once you had done so, you moved your hands up to your face, covering your cheeks.

"I don't like the attention. I hate it when people look at me like- exactly like you're doing now, stop!" You giggled when Chan leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He decided to mess around with you and started staring you down. You laughed and begged him to stop, but the more you did, the more intensely he stared at you- until he eventually cracked, sending you both into fits of laughter.

Lee Know

"First things first rest in peace Uncle Phil."

The music blared from your headphones straight into your head, being the only thing keeping you motivated as you did some housework. Seeing as you were mopping when the J.Cole song started playing, you figured the handle would prove to be the perfect microphone.

"For real, you the only father that I ever knew." You continued, singing and rapping along while shaking your butt and cleaning the floor. Maybe not the world's most efficient cleaning strategy, but my-oh-my did it get the job done.

Due to the loud volume in your headphones, you didn't hear the front door open and shut, as your boyfriend came home for the day.

Minho didn't even get the chance to put down his bag before his attention was completely wrapped around you having a concert in your living-room. He quickly recognized the song and let his head bob along to the beat, even though he could only hear you rapping, and not the song itself. He kicked off his shoes and placed his things on the ground before he slowly made his way into the living-room, doing a little boogie as he did so.

It wasn't until you finally turned around almost a minute later you saw your boyfriend joking around, dancing to your rapping. You instantly dropped the mop and let out a little scream as he startled you, covering your face with your hands once you saw it was just him.

"Minho! What are you doing?" You cried out in embarrassement after removing your headphones. Minho couldn't help but chuckle at you before he came closer and gave you a kiss-hello.

"Y/n, I never knew you had such voice-control! You've never rapped in front of me before, why?" He asked when he pulled away, his arms still wrapped around your waist, but his face a few inches away from yours.

"Because you're an actual rapper in an actual band!! That's like showing Michelangelo your drawing!" You argued back, a massive smile on your face. Minho then continued to shower you in compliments, making you hide your blushing face from him by burying it into his chest.

Changbin

The kitchen had all kinds of different smells as you were stirring the pot of soup you had on the stove in front of you. The kitchen-window was open, letting in a fresh spring breeze, and the radio was playing a familiar song.

"Hold me close and hold me fast The magic spell you cast This is La Vie En Rose." You softly sang along, your body swaying back and forth to the tune. You continued to sing along as you used the wooden-spoon to stir around, making sure it didn't burn.

(bro, i think i fucked up my sOUP)

"Hey, Y/n/n." It suddenly came from the doorway to the kitchen, instantly causing you to stop singing and spin around. "Hi, Binnie." You gave him a smile and then turned back around, squeezing your eyes shut, only for a second- as if you were trying to erase the past ten seconds. You hoped the radio was louder than your voice, but that hope soon came crashing down.

"No, why'd you stop?" He asked as he placed a few sheets of paper on the table and continued over to you. You started smiling like an idiot for a second before you raised your hands to cover your face. Chanbin noticed and chuckled as he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you. "Don't be shy!"

He then spun you around so you were facing him, but your hands still covered your face. This made Changbin just chuckle even more. He tried to jokingly pry your hands from your face, but you just shoved your head into his shoulder so he wouldn't be able to grab you properly. You either couldn't help but chuckle as you messed around, but quickly stopped once you remembered you were cooking.

You turned around to keep stirring your soup, Changbin never let go of you. "But tell me, why have I never heard you sing before when your voice is THAT good?" He asked, but you ignored him.

"For real?" He tried again, but you pretended he didn't say anything.

"Would you like some soup?" You asked him, turning slightly to look at him. He seemed amused, but he just nodded, accepting your choice of lunch.

Hyunjin

Hot water poured down your back, the whole shower smelling like your body wash. You had just gotten back from a run and decided to clean up a bit before Hyunjin came back from work. So after getting out of your leggings and hoodie, you had grabbed your speaker and headed for the washroom.

Knowing Hyunjin wasn't home, you qued the best of the best from your playlist, getting ready to absolutely shred the imaginary rap battles you were about to have. Banger after banger played as you sang into your microphone. Your mic being an empty shampoo bottle you had yet to throw out.

You were mid-shampoo when Streets by Doja Cat played, and you almost slipped and fell while hurriedly reaching for your microphone.

"Damn, papi, you a rare breed, no comparing." You borderline yelled, as if you had just gotten out of a failed relationship where you still loved your partner, when in fact that wasn't your case at all. You were very much in love with your boyfriend, and you were on great terms- but for the sake of your rap battle, you had to get into it.

"When other chickens tryna get in my coop 'Cause you're a one in a million There ain't no man like you!" Not to toot your own horn or anything, but you could confidently say you absolutely bodied that verse, and you were soon let know you weren't the only one who thought so.

(I don't actually think he is the one to cuss, but this is simply because I cannot think of another way to say it, so for the lack of a better word:) "Fuck it up, baby!" You heard Hyunjin hype you up on the other side of the bathroom door, making your stomach drop for a second.

"You're not supposed to be home yet." You answered him after turning off the speaker, and the shower. You stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around you, then went to open the door.

"Well, I had to hurry home when I heard the rap God themselves was having a concert in our bathroom." Hyunjin chuckled once you opened the door with almost a shameful face. "Should I talk to JYP about getting you a rap-audition, or..?" He dragged out the last word, kind of he was taunting you, but in the most loving way possible. Feeling your cheeks grow hot, you closed the door back up and locked him out.

"I'm never leaving this bathroom." You announced as you covered your face, even though Hyunjin could no longer see you.

"Y/n/n, I was kidding! You were great though, I might actually talk to JY-" He started again, but you cut him off by groaning, causing the both of you to break out laughing.

Han

Clicking of a pen. Gentle tapping of a foot. Frustrated hair ripping. You had seen these symptoms before- that's right, Jisung was in a slump.

You were at the studio with your boyfriend, and you were both seated in the sitting group, Jisung leaning his elbows on the table, head in his hands, tugging at his hair as if it would activate his creative juices. You had tagged along just to get out of the house, and maybe Jisung needed moral support, and wouldn't you have guessed- that was exactly what he needed.

"You good?" You asked him after he let out the umpteenth sigh in the past hour. He then finally confessed he just couldn't get the ending of the second verse down. "Why don't you sing it, so you can hear what's missing, rather than just reading it?"

He did as you suggested and sang through it. When he came to the part he was talking about, you also heard it. Something about it was just kinda.. off.

You tilted your head to the side as you were thinking of ways to better it, to try and help him. An idea popped into your head, and maybe it could work- after all you were no song writer. You tried your best to explain to Jisung what it was you were thinking, but about half-way through, you could see he was as lost as that one time Chan and Changbin had accidentally left the two of you behind at IKEA.

"I'm so sorry, babe. I don't fully understand what you mean." He confessed, and you nodded, knowing well that was him being sweet about the fact that you sucked at explaining things. So in the spirit of making it easier for him to understand, you just sang it. You sang through the song and added the part you had tried to explain.

"Did that make more sense?" You asked when you were done, looking from the sheet of paper up at your boyfriend, who was sat there, his lips slightly parted as his jaw hung lose. "Jisung? Babe?" You tried to snap him back to reality as it seemed he had zoned out, but only for a moment.

"Wait, that was so good? Since when were you that good?" Jisung suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree, smiling and almost bouncing in his seat. He continued to shower you in compliments, making you feel like a turtle trying to get back into its shell.

"Stop. If you ever mention me singing again, I will throw myself out the window." You said, both humor in your tone, and being dead serious at the same time.

"Okay, dramatic much?" Jisung joked back, making you shove his shoulder as you chuckled alongside him.

Felix

A car zoomed past you as you walked on the pavement on the side of the road, admiring the spring at its full bloom. You were almost a bit disappointed when you reached your home as you wanted to continue to look at the flowers, but that thought soon fell right out of your head. As you walked up the staircase to your apartment, you heard a constant noise grow louder and louder. You were about to turn the key when you realized the noise was more rhythmic than you originally thought, and that the music was coming from inside your apartment.

Curiosity completely consumed your body when you finally opened the door, and was met with a wall of noise. You took a few steps in and shut the door behind you, protecting the outside world from the sight you had in front of you.

Felix was using a hairbrush as he jumped around both on the floor and in the couch, crying out the lyrics to a song you didn't quite recognize. You laughed at your boyfriend as you kicked off your shoes and hung your coat in the closet.

Felix finally spotted you and quickly pulled out his phone that was connected to the speakers, and changed the song. The familiar intro of your favorite song soon played, and it didn't take as much as a second before you were as hyped as Felix were. You began jumping around and dancing with him, matching his energy.

Felix screamed the lyrics into the hairbrush before he swiftly tossed you the brush, letting you pop off as well. You rapped the words perfectly into the brush, standing on the couch as your concert evolved.

The song eventually came to an end, causing the both of you to fall breathlessly to the ground, heaving for air- massive smiles on your faces. The ground was cool against your now sweaty backs. A few seconds passed before Felix spoke.

"I don't think I have ever heard you rap before." He admitted. You kept staring at the ceiling, ignoring the boy at your side for a few seconds before you decided to answer him.

"And you will never hear it again."

Both you and Felix could back the claim that he had never moved as fast as he did when you said that. He had jumped up so he was on his elbows, facing you with wide eyes.

"No!! Please! You were so good!" He cried out, making you laugh at him. You just gave him a wink before you got to your feet and went to get the groceries you had left in the hallway.

Seungmin

"How about we go in there? Maybe I can find you a shirt?" You spoke after pointing to a store.

You were currently out shopping with your boyfriend, Seungmin. He had asked you to get him an outfit, not for any special occasion of anything, just for shits and giggles. It was your favorite type of dates, the ones where you don't really plan anything, you just end up doing fun and silly things.

Seungmin nodded and you soon dragged him into the store. The layout of the shop was like any other, so you soon made your way to the back where the mens clothing was.

As you were casually roaming the racks of clothes, the speakers soon started playing one of your favorite songs, making it impossible for you to not hum along. You kept looking at the different items of clothing on your left, Seungmin behind you, looking through the clothes on your right hand side.

Soon, the song picked up, you quietly jamming along, allowing yourself to softly sing along as there were no other customers near you.

Your hand suddenly slid over a material that caught your attention. It was a green oversized tee, with some colorful and funky letters on the front. You cut yourself off to turn around and show Seungmin the shirt, asking him what he thought about the item.

You held it up, but no reply. "Seungmin?" You tried again. It was odd seeing as he was looking at you with a slight smile, yet he was not replying to your question. You then lowered the shirt and waved your hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"You okay?" You asked him once he gently shook his head to re-focus his eyes. He nodded gleefully.

"Sorry, your voice was just so good that I completely forgot where we were." He admitted, giving you a look. You pursed your lips and spun on your heel, so he wouldn't see your burning cheeks.

I.N

Date night! You and boyfriend Jeongin had just been at a local restaurant for a cute night out. Nothing overly fancy, just a chance to enjoy each others company, since you both had been busy lately.

After you had paid your bill, the two of you went for a walk to enjoy the warm, evening air. With nowhere in mind, you just casually wandered down the street, your hands intertwined as you swung them back and forth, pulling and pushing at each other in a joking manner.

"Woah, when did this get here?" Jeongin suddenly asked as you passed a building with a bright neon sign hanging out front. You looked to your side to see what it was he was talking about.

Karaoke, the neon sign read. You turned back to your boyfriend and gave him a smug smile, hoping he was thinking the same as you. He returned the smile and suddenly you were being shown to a private room by the hostess.

The first few songs were just the two of you messing around, screaming ABBA into your respective microphones. At one point while picking the next song, Jeongin saw a song he really wanted to do, but as you didn't know the lyrics, you decided to sit this one out.

He belted his heart out to the tune you found unfamiliar, but you enjoyed it nonetheless. Jeongin was after all a singer in a world-renowned band- boy had talent.

The song came to an end, resulting in you giving him a standing ovation as he playfully bowed repeatedly.

"I'm your biggest fan!" You raised your hands to your mouth and pretended to be yelling it at the 'stage', like he just held a concert for thousands. You both laughed at yourselves before Jeongin announced it would be his turn to sit one out. You took that as you cue to get up from the couch and pick a song.

You were no singer, never was- never will be, at least not in public. So when you had to pick a song, you didn't care if it didn't 'fit your range', or 'suit your voice'. You picked a song you liked and ran with it.

The melody started, and you raised your mic to your lips, singing the words that were showing on the large screen in front of you. You found it wasn't as fun to sing without your boyfriend, but got through the song anyways.

As most things do, the song came to and end. You placed the mic on the table and turned around to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. Mid turn, you saw your boyfriend like you never had before. His eyes were wide and his jaw was lose.

"What?" You asked him, uncapping the water bottle and taking a swig.

"Where did that come from?" He asked, eyes still wide as dinner-plates. You raised your eyebrow in a questioning manner, as if you were asking him to elaborate. "You're an amazing singer! How have I never heard that before?"

You felt your cheeks grow hot, and your eyes instantly found the ground, suddenly too shy to look at Jeongin. He chuckled at your reaction, and leaned forward so he could reach your hand from where he was sitting. He then pulled you back so you fell to the couch, crossing your arms over your chest, your shoulders up to your ears by now.

"We have to do this more often so I can hear you sing more!" He stated as he poked your arm, trying to get you to be less shy- and somehow it worked.

Hope you liked it! Feel free to request again!

-bentley

[sanderssides-secretsanta]

Sanders Sides Secret Santa gift #2!!

This is my second piece for this exchange!! My recipient was @lovelivingmydreams

I really enjoyed this prompt! I hope you enjoy ^^

- - -

You'd never peg Virgil for the type to start small games, would you? Most wouldn't. Roman knew his boyfriend better though. 

Virgil and Roman had started dating about 4 months ago, when Roman had (figuratively) poured his heart out to Virgil in a moment of tired stupidity. Luckily for them, they're both tired and stupid.

After a kiss, and another, and wherever that led, they made it official. However, they knew how Thomas' fans were, along with a few of the other sides themselves, and Virgil had his doubts about making it public. After a bit of thinking (staring into a coffee mug and murmuring to himself while Roman sipped his tea) he had the perfect plan.

Well, perfect is a slight overstatement.

They decided they'd keep it secret, technically. They just didn't outwardly say it, but they slipped small hints. Virgil leaning his head on Roman's head to see what he was drawing. Roman placing his arm on the emo nightmare's shoulder and said nightmare not objecting, for once. Holding hands beneath the dinner table. You know, all that romantic jazz. As much as Virgil claimed to hate it, he really liked it when it came from his knight in a onesie. 

So now it was a game to see who would figure it out first. They were taking bets, actually. Roman betted on Logan or Remus. Logan because he was observant as fuck, and Remus because somehow his annoying twin always managed to figure this sort of thing out, despite his, as Roman said, "brain smaller than the pea under the princess's mattress!"

Virgil had instantly shot that down, placing his bet on Patton and Janus. Logan had no clue when it came to romance, and Remus was more... lust. Patton tended to be more in-tune with feelings like that, and Janus obviously just knew when someone was lying. Maybe Janus had an unfair advantage. 

Either way, they went about their daily lives. Nobody caught on for quite a bit, actually. 

It was one movie night in Roman's room when Patton first saw them properly close. Virgil with his head leaning on Roman's, who had his on Virgil's chest. 

"Hey kiddos! Just wanted to- oh!" He stopped as he walked in. Virgil instantly looked around at Patton, then back at his chest, then at Patton again. He raised a finger to his lips.

"Shhhhhh! The idiot fell asleep. He'll be cranky if I wake him up now. We're fine, ok?" Virgil told him in what wasn't higher than a whisper. Patton nodded.

"Mhm! Sorry." He said, waving as he walked out.

Virgil sighed, before chuckling softly. He leaned down, placing a soft kiss to the top of Roman's head.

"And so it begins." 

Logan was next, surprisingly. He'd only noticed when one day, at breakfast, Roman passed Virgil his coffee, their hands lingering for a moment longer than the standard amount. They sat down with their shoulders nearly touching. 

He watched them for a bit, analysing them behind his glasses. Roman caught his eye first, looking up from his food and raising an eyebrow.

"Whatcha staring at, nerd?" He asked. Logan cleared his throat.

"Ah, nothing. My apologies, it's just... you seem awfully close, both physically speaking and relationship wise. Has something changed?" He asked. Roman scoffed. Virgil seemed pretty zoned out.

"Me and emo nightmare? Nah, not a chance in Olympus. Keep theorising though, pocket protector. It's funny!" He said with a grin as he proceeds to nearly choke on his cereal. Logan sighed, shaking his head in exasperation. Virgil was trying his hardest not to laugh.

Somehow, Remus came next. To Janus' credit, he was often in his rooms plotting something or other. Or, that's how Virgil described it. But either way, all of the sides (bar Logan and Janus) were watching a movie. Nightmare Before Christmas; a classic. Roman had taken his position on the armchair, with Virgil laying across the couch onto Roman with his head in his lap. Patton sat on the couch with what was probably hot chocolate, and Remus lay on the floor, shirt discarded earlier in the night. 

At one point, Remus clearly lost focus in the movie, looking up at Roman and Virgil's position (which could NOT have been comfortable for Virgil; he was leaning across two couch arms and onto someone's legs). He let out a loud snicker, not trying to silence himself. Virgil looked down.

"Something funny?"

"Yeah, you two dorks. Hah, dorks."

"Shut up. What's funny about us then?" He asked. Roman was still watching the movie, but he listened to the others talk. 

"You look like you're tryna fuckin' break your back, and Roman over there would've tossed you off of him like a corpse this time last year. Something happen? Hm, hm??" He asked with a grin. Patton looked over in curiosity, but lost interest just as fast.

Roman chimed in now.

"Don't get any dirty ideas, brother! No, I'm simply being decent and letting Mr Gloom here sit where he wants. Is that so bad?"

"Sit is a very far stretch! He looks like he has no bones! Which I am not opposed to, by the way."

Virgil scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"You would like that, wouldn't you gremlin?"

"Yep!"

Roman threw a handful of popcorn at Remus, which quickly shut him up. Not because he was defeated, just because he wanted to see how that whole thing played out.

As the movie continued, Roman let his hand on Virgil's stomach, where one of the latter's hands rested. In the dark room, they let their fingers intertwine.

Obviously, they'd have to find out at some point. It was a given, all games have to end someday. It was dinner in the mind palace, and a pleasant one at that. All the sides decides to eat together since Thomas was in a good mood (he was eating with Nico today!) and nobody was complaining. Despite how much they claim to hate each other, they really are friends.

Well, friends is an understatement for some. 

Roman and Virgil were called to dinner, making them leave their blanket cocoon they'd built around themselves. Virgil groaned.

"I don't wanna move yet." He said with a pout. This just made Roman laugh.

"Well, we're eating with the others today, soo..." He snickered. "Oh no, the dreaded social interaction!"

Virgil just shot him a glare as Roman laughed. Once he'd had his moment, Roman stood up and shook off his blankets. He looked down at Virgil before smirking.

"...I don't like that look."

"Pffft- stay still, emo!"

"Wha-? hEY-!"

Virgil let out a yell as Roman swept him off the bed and onto his feet, spinning him around before he fully touched the ground. Despite his first protest, Virgil laughed as Roman spun him. They both laughed as the purple boy stopped, world spinning for him.

"Ready now, hot topic?"

"Sure, sure. Let's go, disneyworld."

As they turned to the door, they stopped. 

Four familiar faces stood at the door, all with their own variants of grins. Patton seemed excited, Logan was taking down some notes witb a smirk, And Remus and Janus were both grinning.

"I told you, Dee!! They're so fucking gay!" Remus exclaimed, making Janus laugh, along with Logan.

Roman felt the blush coating his cheeks as he facepalmed. He expected Virgil to be freaking out, and he was prepared to help, but as he looked at Virgil, all he saw was... was him laughing. Virgil laughed along with them, grabbing Roman's arm.

"Well, game's busted, Princey." He said. Roman laughed this time.

"I suppose you're right. Hey, who walked in first?"

"Ah, that would be Janus." Logan said, still not looking up at them. Virgil punched the air.

"I win! You owe me now."

"Hahahahah! Fine, fine. What do I owe?"

"You know."

Roman laughed. Without much hesitation, the pair leaned in, almost in sync. Their lips met in a kiss, confirming the theory Logan had been wondering about. 

"Haha! Gay!!"

Without parting, Virgil perfectly flipped off Remus in exactly his direction. 

[viskovie]

Almost Like Family

Chapter I

Chapter II                                            (TW: heavily implied PTSD)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

      As the arranged date of his meeting with Harper draws closer, Matt finds himself becoming more and more restless. It doesn’t feel real. It feels like a false deadline; like he’s walking underwater. It’s nagging at the back of his mind. He doesn’t know why. It’s not like he owes Harper anything. Does he? Then he remembers that Harper is probably going to bring up their conversation at the end of the tour and he has to distract himself before he gets that empty feeling in his stomach. 

      A few days before their reunion (he refuses to even think of it as anything resembling a date) his mom suddenly announces that she’s going to be hosting a lunch for all her writing-club friends. It’ll be on the same day that he’s supposed to be meeting with Harper, but somehow he still gets roped into helping his mom cook. He wonders for a moment if she actually believes that he only worked in the kitchens during his time in Iraq but is immediately corrected when she hauls out her recipe folder. It’s stuffed to bursting with bits and pieces torn from magazines, hastily printed webpages, glossy pamphlets and delicate scraps of paper covered in his grandmother’s shaky handwriting. Matt’s heart sinks.

      “Mama, it’s only the five of you…” He says, eyeing the folder apprehensively as his mom rifles through it. She seems to be gearing toward a three-course banquet. 

      “I know, but this is my chance to one-up Lindsay!” She replies, handing him a cookie recipe and waving him into the kitchen. Matt sighs. His mom and her best friend are fiercely competitive women, and spend much of their time trying to outdo one another in various activities. 

      “Besides, it’ll take your mind off your hot date tomorrow.” She grins.

      “Mom!” Matt chokes. “We’re not- he isn’t- it’s not a date, okay?! We’re just meeting up to- to talk, and... yeah.” He adds carefully, realising too late that he maybe paused in the wrong place. His mom nods sagely, but winks. 

      “As long as you’re home by morning after your… talk.” She snickers and Matt wants to die, right there in the kitchen. His mom laughs, nudging him out of the way. He goes willingly but she grabs him before he can properly escape. 

      “Uh uh. You’re helping me cook whether you like it or not.” She cackles, and Matt has no choice but to resign himself to a whole day of being trapped in the kitchen with his imp of a mother. 

~~~~~~~

      He somehow manages to wake himself up on time the next day, having accidentally fallen into a routine of sleepless nights and late mornings. He doesn’t use his alarm clock anymore. It got switched off, batteries removed, and tucked away in a drawer the day he got home. After the war, he’d figured he deserved to sleep in every day for the rest of his life, and was so far making good on that decision. 

      He goes through his daily routine, feeling oddly disconnected the whole time, and finally ends up pacing in front of his mirror. Since enlisting, the cargos-and-boots look has grown on him. He doesn’t usually care what people think, but he really doesn’t want Harper to continue to affiliate him with the army, which is stupid because he was there with him and he can’t help it, he’s nervous and he’s meeting up with a guy who knows his dirty secrets, and today might be the day where Matt has to actually tell him to his face how he feels and if it goes wrong it might get ugly and- 

      He forces himself to take a deep breath. It’s only Harper. He should be relieved, actually. He’s (probably) not going to want to make small talk, and even if he does it’ll be about something relevant to them both. Something that won’t have Matt doing his best to not look bored or irritated. It’s only Harper, he reassures himself again. Nothing to worry about. Yeah right. 

      He considers asking if he can borrow his mom’s car, but he knows better than anyone that he’s still looking over his shoulder, still ready to fight at a moment’s notice, still operating with a lit fuse. Driving is probably not a good idea. Especially when he’s already antsy. So he catches the bus instead. It’s a fair journey and he spends it alternating between tapping his foot out of rhythm, glancing around at the other passengers (trying to be inconspicuous about it), and checking and re-checking his pockets. I must look like I’m on something, he thinks wryly as he makes accidental eye contact with a middle-aged man a few seats down. The man immediately looks away, but he eyes Matt warily every few minutes. I’m sorry, he wants to say. I’m not fixing to mug you - it’s just that I’ve come back from a fucking war and I can’t seem to adjust to the real world again. It’s not you, it’s me. But he knows he can’t say those things, so he tries not to look in the man’s direction again. 

      He finally makes his way to the café where he and Harper agreed to meet, grateful to be off the bus. He’s early. Twenty minutes early, actually. The next bus would’ve only left in an hour, and he’d have been rudely late. He picks a table next to the window and near to the door. Unfortunately, that means that everyone who enters walks past him. He can only imagine how shady he looks, flinching every time somebody walks in. By the time Harper arrives, Matt’s already had two coffees in a futile bid to quell his nerves and he’s fidgeting in his seat. Harper gives him a smile and sits opposite him. He opens his mouth but Matt beats him to it. 

      “Been a while, huh?” He says, unconsciously tapping on the tabletop. Harper nods, taking him in. 

      “You look agitated.” He replies in his even, measured manner. Matt doesn’t know what to say to that. He is agitated, but he shouldn’t be. So he makes a noncommittal noise, shrugs and looks away. He hears Harper let out a small breath. He jumps embarrassingly hard when the Sergeant touches his fingers. 

      “It’s okay, y’know.” He says softly, leaning in. Matt shrugs again. He isn’t sure what Harper’s getting at, doesn’t want to push and find out. But he’s itchingly curious at the same time. 

      “The shakes go away, and you eventually learn to sleep again.” Harper continues. “There’s no shame in looking for help, Ocre. I should know.” It takes Matt a second to realise what he’s talking about. He almost laughs when it clicks. Almost. He’s had two coffees in the space of fifteen minutes, on top of being wired with apprehension. Of course Harper thinks he’s neurotic. 

      “I’m- uh, I’m okay.” He answers belatedly. “But thanks anyway.” Harper gives him a long, searching look. Matt does his best to meet his gaze, but it’s intense and he can’t hold it for long. Caffeine is a treacherous bitch. 

      “Good. But if you’re ever not, you can call me, okay?” Harper says, then mercifully changes the subject. Matt manages to stumble through the conversation, but eventually Harper cottons on. He puts his cup down and leans back in his chair. The air between them thickens. Matt’s pulse speeds up even more. He’s probably gonna have a heart attack in a minute. Definitely. 

      “Come on a date with me, Ocre.” Harper says unexpectedly. Matt hits a wall and goes blank. His heart is hammering like a cartoon woodpecker and he feels lightheaded.

      “I- what- a date?” He asks shakily. “Like, a real date or- or just for lunch?” 

      “It can be for lunch if you want, but I’d rather take you to dinner.” Harper replies smoothly, the corners of his mouth twitching. 

      “Uh…” Nice, Matt. Real articulate. This guy thinks you’re smart, remember? Harper sighs. He reaches forward, almost-but-not-quite touching his hand again.

      “Look, I’ve had weeks to think about this. I don’t know if you were tryna tell me, in Baghdad, that you’re- y’know... yeah.” He continues slowly, carefully picking his words. Maybe he thinks Matt’s gonna bolt if he says it outright. Maybe he’s right. “I’ve toured with a couple of different teams, and it’s normal to think about them every now and then after you come home, but Ocre… I’ve missed you, man.” 

      Matt doesn’t know how to react. He’s spent the last few days bracing himself for not only rejection, but for the shitstorm that would likely go with it. Because soldiers aren’t gay. Harper seems to understand.

      “I get it, y’know. A lotta boys pretty much only enlist because the girls back home throw themselves at a man in uniform, so a guy looking for another guy...” He murmurs, shaking his head. So you can read minds,  Matt thinks, just a little sardonically. He looks down at his lap, trying to get his thoughts back together. The caffeine-adrenaline cocktail in his system is probably not helping. 

      “Ocre…?” Harper prompts gently, and  damn if he doesn’t look a little insecure. “D’you wanna go on a date sometime?” 

      “Yeah.” Matt answers, finally. “Yeah, I’d like that…” He smiles shyly, half to Harper and half to himself. Across the table, Harper lets out a breath. He seems relieved.

      “Good. Gimme your address so I can pick you up on... Friday?” He grins. Matt’s own smile broadens as they work out the details. He guesses he got all worked up for nothing. The adrenaline is starting to dissipate. Another coffee is in order, it seems.

[bucky-smiles]

Doing Good

A oneshot? WOAH! Happy Early Halloween, here’s yall’s treat. Big love to @honeybucks and @delicatelyherdreams for betaing and helping in making my insecurities about this a little less. I’m going to note and say that flashbacks are not in chronological order. That’s all I’m saying though!

Prompt: This is an entry for my @star-spangled-bingo card for the Domestic AU square! If Bucky didn’t “die” in the war... Set in the late 60s and based on The Gambler by fun. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.6k+

Warnings: Fluff, angst, description of injury, mentions of blood and PTSD, war, children 

Honest to God, Bucky Barnes always wondered how the hell he got to where he was. The last thing that he thought of when growing up was that he’d end up with the life he has now. The focus then was staying alive and getting by on the tiny sums given to him on all of the paychecks he received from the jobs he worked. 

Falling in love was the last thing on his mind… Although he did indulge himself in that world from time to time. 

Even though Bucky and Steve were living paycheck to paycheck, they still tried to make the most of their lives by going to dance clubs, bars, and Coney Island whenever they had a little bit extra they could spend. That’s what happened the night his life changed for the better. That’s what happened the night he met her. 

It was a chillier night in Brooklyn when Bucky convinced Steve to go out for a night of dancing with dames. Steve didn’t want to, but figured he’d just indulge his best friend rather that listening to all the complaints Bucky would have about staying in. So there they were, the loud music hitting them the moment they entered the place. There was laughing, glasses clinking, and a jazz band ready to play to the night’s end… And Bucky’s smile and excitement made going out worth it to Steve.

Bucky was already scoping out the area, looking for potential dance partners as Steve found them a booth to put their jackets down at.. Also where Steve would likely be spending most of the night. Bucky got two coke bottles, moving to where Steve was sat and setting them down. He removed his jacket and set it down in the booth, eyes still flitting about the smiling faces in the vicinity. 

That's when his steel blue eyes meet hers... It was barely a glance, in all honesty. Bucky and her eyes bounced off each other before moving to other people and parts of the room.. The eye contact was unintentional, not to be spoken about again to anyone if brought up.. They didn’t even know it happened in all honesty, so what was the point?

The moment  Y/N looked back to Bucky was when she realized that there was a good looking, brunet man without a dance partner. Or at least without a visible dance partner. If she asked him to dance, what was the worst thing that could happen? Rejection? That wasn’t all that big a threat.. Especially if she’d never see him again after this.. Which was why she found herself moving in his direction, her own coke bottle in hand as she moved. 

When Bucky noticed a pretty girl coming his way, his heart found its way into his throat. She took his breath away and just.. Wow.. 

He was pretty sure his mouth was hanging open when the girl flashed him a bright smile before speaking, “Hiya! I’m Y/N.. Wanna dance?” 

Love at second sight. 

“Bucky, did I schedule people to handle the shop today? I can’t remem-” Y/N walked into their shared bedroom, the stress radiating from her. She had a habit of misplacing her journal that had all of these notes and would go on a stress spree trying to remember everything. 

“Doll,” Bucky interrupted, “you know you did.. You’re a good shop owner, don’t stress this much..” The man sits up in bed, metal arm creaking just a little bit as he boosts himself. “C’mere.. It’s barely 10.. We have time left to be lazy..” There was a soft smile on his lips and it quickly passed to Y/N’s as well and she let out a quiet sigh before moving to get back into bed beside her husband of 30 years, curling up into his side and wrapping an arm around his bare torso. 

“You’re right.. M’sorry..” Y/N lets out a quiet laugh before continuing, “I still have to find the damn journal though.. But.. Yeah later.. It’s fine.. You’re right, we have time..” She looks up to her husband before tapping his side gently, “What’s got you in such a good mood, hm? Sleep real well or something?”

Bucky leans down and presses a soft kiss to his wife’s forehead before speaking, “That and.. And I was thinking about us.. And how far we’ve come.. And all that.. Hey, don’t give me that look, I’m feeling nostalgic..” He laughs a little at the way that Y/N wrinkled her nose a little. 

“You’re such a sap, Buck..” 

“I know.. But I’m your sap.”

“So how does a beautiful doll like you end up working in a diner, hm? You should be in Hollywood or something,” That was Bucky speaking as he walked Y/N home. This was their third date now. They hadn’t counted the first night of dancing.. But every time they were together after that was most definitely a date. 

Y/N had Bucky’s jacket draped over her shoulders as they walked and his statement caused her to roll her eyes. She was toying with the singular rose that Bucky had gotten her earlier that evening and raised her shoulders in a gentle shrug, “The depression isn’t doing anyone favors, Bucky.. My parents need the money so I’m tryna help em’ as much as I can. Can’t do much else now that I’m 18.” 

Bucky knew the feeling, especially since he had moved in with Steve. But Y/N knew his situation for the most part. Only 3 dates and Bucky wanted to tell her everything there was to know about him. Even better, he wanted to give her everything too; his time, body, mind, and soul. Although Bucky figured that that would be a little strange to say all things considered. He’d only known Y/N for a couple of weeks now and was already feeling so strongly. 

“And if your parents didn’t need the money? What would you be doing?” Bucky felt this need to know everything about her. What she wanted from life, her hopes and dreams, worst fears and pet peeves. Anything she was willing to talk about. 

The question causes her to smile a little bit and she lets out a quiet, breathy laugh, “I’d still work.. But I’d save the money to open a flower shop of my own.” 

Bucky’s smile brightened at her words. Here she was with the desire to start her own business. Y/N really was the smartest girl in the world wasn’t she. He didn’t think twice as he spoke, “You know what doll?”

Y/N’s brow raises playfully as she looks to Bucky, “What, Buck?”

“When all the depression business is over, m’gonna stop just giving you a rose every time I see ya.. I’m gonna put the money in to help that shop of yours.. Cause’ you’re gonna make it big. I already know it.” And truly, Bucky meant every word he spoke. This wasn’t just flirting, rather a way to show how impressed he was by this girl. 

Y/N shakes her head a little at that, “We’ll see when the ‘depression business’ is over.. In the meantime, just stick with the roses.” She bonks the top of Bucky’s head with the rose as she speaks, a bright smile on her lips. He was cute with little things like that. It made Y/N’s heart swell. 

In response, Bucky only takes Y/N’s hand, swinging it between the two of them gently as they continue to walk under the starry night on the Brooklyn streets. 

Y/N lets out a quiet sigh as she shifts for just a moment to look at the clock. Seeing that it was only a little past 1 in the afternoon, she relaxes against her husband once more, looking up to him and smiling softly, “None of them are gonna be here for a few more hours.. We have more time..” 

Bucky tightens his grip around Y/N and kisses her forehead gently, looking down to meet her gaze, “I know.. That’s why I haven’t gotten out of bed yet, doll.” He leans down to kiss her properly, holding it for a few moments before pulling away, “I wish we could have more of them, ya know? I miss when they were all babies and we got to raise them and all of that..” 

Y/N laughs quietly at his words and nods her head a little, “Yeah me too.. Except I don’t miss carrying them around for 9 months.. And I don’t miss waking up every other hour.. Plus, we’re too old to have any more. I know for sure that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with a baby. And no matter how badly you want to, I know you wouldn’t either.” 

The man lets out a long sigh. His wife was always right, he knew that for sure. She was so smart and always said the things that he wouldn’t want to say. And she was right in all of this too. Now at 52, life was getting to be just a little more difficult. His arm didn’t make things easier. He could feel his mobility declining and, while it was natural, Bucky still didn’t want to give up his young soul and childish tendencies. “Yeah, I know, doll.. But a guy can dream, ya know?”

“Yeah yeah, I know.. Did Winnie say if she was coming or not?” Y/N let her hand drift over Bucky’s chest, drawing random patterns over the area as she spoke. This entire thing was planned because Winnie said she was going to be in town so hopefully she wouldn’t cancel last minute.. Not that they’d mind if she did, their daughter was an especially important woman in her work world. 

“She said she wouldn’t miss it for the world, doll.. I made her promise that much..” Their first daughter with eyes and drive both from her father. Winnie was, by far, the one that gave her parents the most trouble but in the most unconventional ways. Her younger brother, Grant, was much more of a handful when they were all growing up. 

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Barnes, his pneumonia doesn’t seem to be getting any better,” The doctor had a somber look on his face as he got up from little Grant’s bedside. “The medicine can only do so much.. And the cold climate isn’t helping his situation anymore..” 

Y/N was clutching the collar of her shirt as she listened to the doctor, taking her bottom lip between her teeth at his mention of the weather. “Are you suggesting that we move, doctor? Pick up our entire life from Brooklyn and go somewhere warmer?”

The doctor lets out a long sigh at Y/N’s question before shrugging, “At this point? With the severity of his condition? I really do think that it’d help a lot more with the medicines..” And with that, the doctor left, leaving a heartbroken Y/N thinking about the family having to leave their entire livelihood in Brooklyn for another life somewhere else. 

“Ma?” A quiet Grant spoke from bed, “We don’t hafta move, ma.. I can handle this.” 

Y/N lets out a quiet, breathy laugh at his words before nodding her head, “I bet you can, baby boy.. I’ll talk to your dad. How does that sound?” She rests a hand over the swell of her belly where another child rested before moving to her son’s bedside. “You’re such a strong boy.. I’m so proud of you..” And he was exactly like his namesake, it seemed. 

When Bucky came home that night, he wasn’t expecting Y/N to say what she did.. And it broke his heart.. Y/N being pregnant, Winnie being in third grade, and Grant so ill made the circumstances so much more difficult. But they could lose their son and they sure as hell were not going to risk him for their personal comfort and life. 

A few months later, the Barnes’ said goodbye to Brooklyn and hopped on a plane to San Diego, California. It was an up and coming city with nice weather and good people from the sound of it. Y/N had sold her flower shop in Brooklyn and started a new one up in their new city. Grant got better with time and the warmer air. Winnie made new friends quite quickly in her new school. And eventually, Y/N and Bucky welcomed their third child only 4 months after settling down in their new home. 

“Can you believe Grant is 25 now.. And bringing his girlfriend with him tonight..” That was Bucky speaking again, tugging the blanket further up over his and his wife’s body. California had been an adjustment they had to make.. But Bucky had grown to enjoy it quite a bit. He did miss Brooklyn at times but it was fine.. They were fine and their kids turned out just fine. And Grant was all grown up and okay. A true man, in Bucky’s eyes, especially because he couldn’t be more like his mother. Everyone was a lover in both of their eyes and optimism was of utmost importance. 

“Mhm.. And Winnie being pregnant yet travelling so much.. Something else..” Y/N laughs a little as she speaks. It was in moments like this that she felt especially old. Their kids were all grown up and doing their own thing.. And Y/N and Bucky were there, laying in bed, just fine and surviving. 

Surviving used to be a trial in itself. Especially when Bucky was serving during World War II. Y/N nearly shuddered at the thought, pressing closer to Bucky. 

“What is it, hm?” Bucky had a concerned look on his face at Y/N’s sudden actions, looking down at her with a curious gaze, “You alright?”

Y/N nods at his question, offering a weak smile reassuringly, “It’s crazy to think I nearly lost you at one point is all.. I dunno what I’d have done if I did..” 

Bucky lets out a quiet sigh at Y/N’s words and his gaze trails off to one of the walls of their room. “You didn’t though, and that’s all that matters..” 

1945 was by far the most difficult year Y/N had ever gone through. Bucky had received his papers towards the end of 1942, right after Winnifred Barnes was welcomed into the world. And 1943 was when he left his new daughter and wife of now 3 years. He could only come back twice in his time gone, both only for a couple of weeks which he spent with his family before he’d have to go back. The second time, he left his wife pregnant. One of his biggest regrets will always be that he missed Grant’s birth. The namesake came forth as Y/N’s only reassurance of Steve being there with her husband in Europe. 

Steve and Bucky had kept the capture in between them for the most part. Y/N knew bits and pieces of Azzano. Mainly that it was a difficult battle to win and that it was Steve’s debut as Captain America. She also knew that Bucky went through a lot but she was never told what. Bucky hated having her worry so he figured it’d just be best to avoid the situation. 

One thing Bucky knew for sure was that he would not let the horrors of war come to Y/N. Her eyes were too bright and her soul too warm to be tainted by the darkness of the wars. She saw hope in everyone.. But Bucky knew the truth of what he sees and what his fellow soldiers have been through… And he knows what that knowledge would do to his beloved wife.. So he keeps it away the best he can. 

He couldn’t keep it away, however, when the train accident occurred. 

Y/N had nearly lost her husband. There he was, hanging for his dear life from the side of a moving train when Steve managed to grab him and pull him to safety. However in the commotion, the jagged metal of the train got caught in Bucky’s shoulder. Attempting to get the metal off of him made the injury all the worse and it was a miracle that Bucky survived all the blood loss and managed to stay alive through all of the surgeries. 

Y/N got a call 2 weeks afterwards.. She had begun to get antsy as she hadn’t received Bucky’s weekly letter in two weeks.. Something wasn’t right, she knew it.. But no one would tell her anything. 

The woman had just gotten a toddler Winnifred and baby Grant to bed when the phone rang. She quickly picked it up in fear of waking the kids up and reversing all of her hard work, “Hello?”

“... Y/N?” Steve was speaking from the other line. It sounded like he hadn’t slept in days. 

“Stevie? What.. What happened? Is Bucky okay?”

“Y/N you’re going to want to sit down for this..” 

The work earlier in not wanting to wake up the children was in vain. Y/N’s shrieks at the news woke them up anyways. 

After that, Y/N got her mother to watch the kids for the week and Stark flew the plane himself to get Y/N from a covert military base. She was the wife of a Howling Commando, after all, and was to be treated with nothing but respect. 

Y/N was scared to see Bucky. The surgery had gone fine but he no longer had his left arm. She just.. God, it was terrifying to think that the man she loves the most had gone through this much pain and that she couldn’t do anything about it. 

The woman took a seat beside Bucky’s hospital bed and took his right hand gently, pressing a kiss to the back of it. Her husband was asleep, safe from the horrors of war to her knowledge.. And he seemed peaceful, like the Bucky she’d met nearly 10 years ago. 

It made Y/N cry quietly. What had war done to her love?

“You said you aren’t leaving till it’s our time.. And it isn’t our time.. I’m not quitting and you can’t either, Bucky.. You can’t leave me, Winnie, and Grant by ourselves. We need you. And I wouldn’t be able to survive without you..” Y/N presses another kiss to the back of his hand, pushing his almost shaggy hair back gently on his forehead. “I know you’re sleeping.. But I promise.. I’m not ever leaving your side.. As long as I can hold your hand, I’m not leaving you.” 

Y/N had to nudge Bucky a little to bring him out of the trance he’d fallen into thinking about war. He’d gotten discharged after the accident and spent time back at home getting himself together. Once the war was over, Stark helped Bucky’s arm situation out by fashioning a state of the art prosthetic for him. It wasn’t enough for Bucky as it wasn’t his arm. But he made due with it and would often go in to get things refitted and reworked. 

Bucky blinked a couple of times, clenching and unclenching his metal hand before looking back to Y/N and offering a weak smile, “I’m glad you never left me after the accident. Don’t know what I would’ve done.” 

With a roll of her eyes, Y/N sits up and runs a hand through her own hair before stretching out, “How could I? I love you too much.” The woman flashes a fond smile to her husband before moving to get out of bed, “Come on, the kids are all gonna be here soon.. We best get everything ready.” 

And so Y/N and Bucky worked in tandem getting everything together for their kids’ arrival. Lucy was the first to arrive, a taxi from the bus station bringing her right back home from her studies at UCLA. At the age of 19, she was on her way in the world of biology. Everyone knew she was going to make it big. 

Grant came home afterwards, his girlfriend by the name of Jane, on his arm. He was excited that his girl got to meet the entire family now. 

After Grant came Junior.. His name was James but the nickname was quickly taken up as Bucky’s full name oftentimes made him cringe. He was still in school, studying business as his working at his mother’s flower shop since a young age put him in a world he didn’t want to leave. 

And lastly, but most certainly not least, came Winnifred. Her belly was swollen and her husband was on her arm. Y/N was absolutely delighted that she was to be a grandmother soon. 

Dinner passed and all the Barnes siblings had filed to the expansive backyard. Junior was talking with Winnifred’s husband, Grant was handling the dishes with his girlfriend, and Lucy was talking with Winnifred about her plans for the baby. 

Y/N and Bucky watched from where they were sitting, fond smiles on their face. 

“Hey, Bucky?” Y/N spoke gently, her eyes slowly drifting to her husband. 

Bucky looks to her, his smile brightening just a little, “Yeah, doll?”

She takes his metal hand, her finger running over the gold band that’d been smelted onto his left finger before squeezing his hand gently, “We did good..” 

The man lets his gaze drift off to his children again, and the people they’d chosen for their lives like Bucky had done for his. Eventually, he nods a little, squeezing his wife’s hand right back. “Yeah, doll.. We did.”

~ Taglist! ~ (Send in an ask to be tagged in the future!) 

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Bucky Barnes Taglist:  @love-dria @starkrobb​

[captainjetrocketboy]

I’m Tryna Understand These Days ~ 8

Also on Ao3.

Chapter 8: A World Where We Can Be Alone

Seventy-two hours. He didn’t even try to stop himself from counting every little tick of the clock.

It’s been three days since Callum gave into his desires and kissed Ben for a fleeting moment.

It’s been three days since Ben had asked for space. He wanted time to process everything that he knows now, and Callum would just have to accept that. After all, Ben had done the same for him when he was still figuring out what to do with Whitney. He owed it to the other man to show that he truly did have feelings for him. That he really did love him.

Though, while it’s only been half a week, Callum was starting to think he might go crazy if he had to wait another day. He doesn’t understand how Ben was able to be so patient with a muppet like him back then. 

Callum shifted in his bed. It seemed to feel emptier and emptier as the hours went by. He never knows the night before if the next day will finally be the day that Ben comes back to him. That he’ll have thought about it and be gracious enough to give them a second chance. Or in Ben’s case, he supposes the first chance at their relationship. 

He needs to learn to stop being so naive.

Taking a glance at his phone, Callum notices that it’s already almost past noon. The lack of sleep that he’s been getting lately has really affected his schedule. Turns out that lying motionless, but awake, in his sheets wasn’t the healthiest way to deal with this whole situation. It could be worse though, he thought.

And he knows he shouldn’t blame Ben for taking his time. He might not have told him everything there was to know about them, but what the other man does know would be a lot for anyone to comprehend, let alone someone who’s lost their memory about it.

It’s just been tough on Callum, and he’s tired of obsessing over it. But when has he ever been able to get Ben out of his mind? It certainly isn’t one of his strong suits.

After some minutes pass, he reckons that he should probably get up. He hopes Jay doesn’t mind him coming in to work late. For the third day in a row.

He mindlessly gets dressed in his suit as he lazily combs a hand through his hair. It’s maybe thirty past twelve when he finally trudged down the stairs out of his flat. 

When he gets down to the funeral parlour, his ears perk up at the two familiar voices through the walls.

“Are ya really sure about this, Ben?”

“For the last time, bruv, I’m sure.”

Callum really shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but he finds it hard to do that when the conversation involves Ben. 

“And are ya gonna be on your best behavior with him?”

“As long as he’s good to me, we won’t have a problem.”

As Callum gets closer, he can hear Jay let out a sigh. “Alright then, if it’s what you want. But if he even tries to upset ya, he’ll for sure have a problem with me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Ben chuckles.

He takes that moment to finally step into the office. He’s greeted by a smirk from Ben and a subtle glare from Jay.

“It lives then. Thought I’d hafta wake you up myself.” Jay rolls his eyes as he crosses his arms. He notices that he’s perched up on the desk, while Ben leans back in the swivel chair, hands resting on the back of his head. Their eyes meet, and Callum could swear his breath hitched.

“You alright there?” Ben amicably asks.

Callum clears his throat before responding. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good. How have you been?”

Ben purses his lips. “Fine. A few headaches here and there, but it’s getting better. I hope.”

“That’s good then.” Callum nods his head, but leaves it turned downward.

There’s a bit of silence in that moment. At least until Jay speaks up again.

“Just get on with it, bruv. I can practically feel the stupid tension between you two.” He lightly punches Ben’s shoulder, who just laughs as he tries to hit Jay back.

“Alright, alright.” Ben’s laughter subsides as he puts on a more serious expression. His smile remains, though, as he turns his attention to Callum. “So I’ve been thinking…”

“Dangerous thing, innit?” Jay butts in, grinning at Callum.

“Oi! I thought you wanted me to get it done with!” Ben yelled as he kept a smile of his own.

Jay let out a small laugh as he leaned backwards, almost on instinct, expecting Ben to playfully hit him again. “Sorry, sorry! Just had to put that out there.”

“Anyway,” Ben clears his throat and his mouth slips back into that too-familiar smirk. “I’ve been thinking of what you told me.”

“Ben, I’m so sorry about that night. I-I never meant for it to happen.” Callum couldn’t stop himself from blurting out as he took a step forward.

Ben scoffed. “Is anyone here gonna let me finish?”

Callum froze on the spot, his lips pressed tightly into a line. His gaze shifted back down to his shoes. “Sorry…”

“Look, what I’m tryin’ to say is… I’ve taken the time to get my head ‘round… this,” Ben motions between the two of them. “And I think that… it’s worth a shot.”

Callum perked his head up at that. He stared at the other man in disbelief. Surely, his big stupid ears were playing tricks on him. There’s no way that it would be that easy. That Ben could just forgive him at the snap of his fingers. He didn’t deserve such kindness.

“What?” He whispered as he fought back the sting of tears.

“Don’t get too excited there, Cal,” Ben joked. “But I mean it. Screw the past. What matters is now, and right now… I think we should give us a chance, eh?”

“Ben, I… I don't know what to say. I wasn’t exactly plannin’ on you forgiving me.” Callum started slowly making his way towards the man behind the desk. Jay sat up from his position, making room for him to get close.

“You don’t have to say anythin’ right now. Let’s just take this slow.” Ben reached out when he was near enough, and softly brushed his fingers across Callum’s. “From what you’ve told me, seems we weren’t exactly the best at doing that before.”

Callum clung onto that brief contact of skin. It sent shivers along his arms, and his cheeks were starting to heat up. He moved his hand in a way that let him properly hold Ben’s in his. “Slow… yeah, I’d like that.”

“Great.” Ben grinned up at the taller man. Their hands didn’t separate for a second in the moment of silence that they shared. It wasn’t until Ben spoke up again did he let go. “So, what do ya say about lunch at the caff?”

Feeling a bit more like himself, Callum smiled, giggling at how not-slow Ben was already being. “You mean like a date?”

Ben’s eyebrows raised, a smile of his own spreading across his handsome face. “It don’t have to be a date. It’s just lunch, innit? Like how we used to when we were mates.”

“Except now, we’re more than that, right?”

“Only if you want us to be.”

Callum was made suddenly aware of Jay’s presence when he cleared his throat, popping the bubble that seemed to encase the two men. He looked back at his boss, and pleaded with his eyes to give him the day off.

Jay seems to get the message pretty clearly. “Go on. You two deserve it.”

Callum’s never been more grateful for someone else know about him and Ben. Jay’s support is certainly something he hadn’t expected. “Cheers, mate.” 

“But someday we’re gonna have words about what exactly you’ve done with Ben.” Jay’s expression is light, but his eyes tell Callum that he’s serious.

“Thanks, bruv. I’ll see ya in a bit, yeah?” Ben goes to stand up from the chair, but he seemingly loses his balance as he clutches a hand to the back of his head.

This doesn’t go unnoticed by Callum. “You alright, Ben?”

“Yeah, yeah, probably just stood up too fast,” Ben quickly responds, his voice a bit shakier than Callum would like.

The other man tries to go around the desk, but then stumbles forward. His body slumps on the desk, and Callum’s able to catch him before he falls onto the ground. Jay’s quick to his side, as well, and both of them help Ben back onto the chair.

“S-Sorry, just tripped,” Ben mutters. “How about you go change, and I’ll just… wait here. Catch my breath and all.”

Callum’s brows furrow. “Are ya sure, Ben? We don’t have to go out if you ain’t feeling well.”

“I’m fine, Cal. Just a little tumble, nothin’ to worry your pretty head over.”

He isn’t entirely convinced, but the warm hand that wraps around his arm gives him enough comfort to let it go. For now, at least. “Okay then… I’ll go put on something else, but promise me ya won’t pass out on me or summat?”

“Don’t worry, uncle Jay’s here to take care of me, ain’t he?” Ben replies, drawing a chuckle out of himself and his brother.

Callum laughed along with them, but something kept biting at the back of his mind. He’s not sure if it was simply him being paranoid, or if it was actually fear for something worse.

- - -

The sun was high in the sky as they walked along the square. They stayed close together, arms bumping into each other every now and then, but a safe distance was still kept. They were having a conversation about their personal tastes in food when Ben suddenly stopped. Callum curiously looked up at the store sign. The Minute Mart.

“I’ve got an idea. Just wait out here.” Ben says, already making his way in. 

Callum just laughed as he watched him practically skip inside. “Ben, what’re ya plannin’ now?”

“Promise it won’t take long!” Ben called out.

With a shake of his head, Callum goes to rest his back on the nearest wall behind him. He closed his eyes and let out a content sigh. He supposes he’ll have to get used to this kind of thing if their relationship goes anywhere. Ben’s always been a schemer, but a feeling of satisfaction washes over him as he thinks of Ben putting that mind of his for good. Like right now, the bloke’s got something planned, but whatever it is, it’s for Callum. And that makes his smile grow even bigger.

That smile didn’t last very long when he heard a voice that was familiar, but felt so foreign at the same time.

“Callum?”

He suddenly shoots off the wall, and when his eyes open and land on red hair and a bright pink jumper, his heart drops right down into his stomach.

“Whit… H-How have… Are you alright?”

She slowly nods her head as she breathes out. “I’m… I’m getting better. Just saw you when I came around the corner, thought I’d say hi.”

Callum’s not entirely sure what he should really say. His ex-fiancee just arrived out of nowhere, and what the hell are you supposed to say when that happens?

Sure, maybe a couple of months ago he practiced some soppy speech over and over again in his head for when he got the chance to see Whitney. But after everything that’s been happening with Ben, he realized that he hadn’t really been thinking of her lately.

Should he feel guilty about that? Callum’s not sure of the answer, but he doesn’t want to know it either.

“I… That’s good to hear. We’ve both got to move on, right?”

Whitney took a step forward, closing the gap that wasn’t big enough between them. “Right… But I do miss you.”

“I…” Callum looks down at the sincerity in her eyes. He can’t bring himself to speak with that same honesty. “I miss you, too.”

Whitney looks like she’s about to hug him, but a loud and brash voice cuts through the somber atmosphere. 

“Oi, loverboy! I know we agreed this wasn’t a date, but if we’re gonna do this, might as well go all out—”

Ben stops in his tracks as he takes notice of the third person standing next to Callum. His smile fades away quickly, and his arms fall to his sides. The first thing that caught Callum’s attention, though, was the single white tulip tucked safely in Ben’s hand.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Callum shifts his gaze to Whitney, who suddenly has a questioning glare aimed at the two men.

“What… what are you on about?”

“Whitney, right?” Ben’s put up those walls again, he noticed. The hand that didn’t hold the flower was stuffed into his jacket pocket, his smile didn’t reach his eyes anymore, and his tone had an edge to it. “We’ve probably met, but I’ve been having trouble rememberin’ things lately.”

“That ain’t an answer Ben Mitchell. What did you just say?” There’s a threatening air around Whitney, but Ben doesn’t back down.

“Look, I know you’re probably still upset about you and Cal here, but you ain’t got nothin’ to worry about.” Ben taunted, unafraid and unknowing. “I plan on treating him right.”

“He ain’t gay.” Whitney firmly asserts.

Ben scoffs. “Course he is. That’s why he broke up with you, innit?”

Callum feels completely helpless as he stands back from the brewing tension. He could only watch as Whitney tried to pull a punch at Ben, but he was too quick and dodged to the side.

“Woah there, lass. I get you’re angry, but your form’s all wrong. Ya gotta lean into the punch. Put some oomph into it.”

Whitney points a sharp nail at Ben’s chest. “You know, you’ve always been dirty. So what’s your trick, huh? What did ya do to Callum to force him into your grubby hands?”

Ben, still undeterred, scoffed in her face. “Y’know, I think I do remember ya. Though, your hair was a little less… loud back then.”

“Ben, ya better give me a straight answer before I kill ya.” Whitney growls.

A humorless laugh escapes the other man’s mouth. “Now that is quite the turn of phrase. I didn’t force nothing on him.”

“So what? Is it true?” Whitney tries once more with force. “Is Callum really…”

“Like you didn’t know…” Ben stared right back at Whitney’s glare, but he must’ve noticed something in them. His cocky smirk faltered, if only slightly. “Hold on a minute… did you really not know?”

Whitney shook her head. Her anger was still apparent, but she seems to have calmed down a little.

“But he told me that he came out…” It was Ben’s turn to be confused. He looked at the woman in front of him, but then cautiously turned to face Callum, who was still standing at the sidelines. A mere bystander. “Or was that just another lie?”

Callum really didn’t like the idea of Ben’s anger being directed at him. But this is what he deserves, isn’t it? Of course there were corners that needed to be cut when he tried explaining the other night, but he didn’t think it would lead to this. He didn’t think it would matter after Ben got over it. There he goes again, being naive.

With no answer from Callum, Ben shakes his head as he turns away from Whitney. “Right, I see how it is. We really better get going now. Got some things to sort out. See ya.”

Before Ben could make it very far, Callum was shocked as he saw Whitney lift her purse behind her, and swing it directly at the man. The bag made direct contact with the back of Ben’s head, and forced him to stumble forward.

“You disgust me, Ben Mitchell. I swear if you hurt him, I’ll come after ya.”

As Whitney turns on her heel and walks away, Callum finally snaps out of his stupor as Ben groans in pain. Both of his hands were clutching at his head where she had hit him. That’s when Callum noticed the tulip on the ground. Ben must’ve dropped it from the impact. He goes to pick it up before wrapping his free arm around the other man.

“Ben, you okay?”

He’s shrugged off as Ben continues down the street, still heading in the direction of the cafe. Callum follows right behind him, and he keeps trying to get Ben to say something, anything.

He’s mostly silent until they finally make it to their destination. He opens the door, and is greeted by Kathy, who’s working at the front counter.

“Alright, Ben?” She calls out, happy at seeing her son.

“Dandy, mum.” Ben curtly responds, a hand still rubbing at his scar.

Kathy then notices Callum standing hesitantly next to Ben. “Callum, right? Nice to see ya again. Here to reign in my son from trouble?”

She laughs and gives them both a genuine smile. If only she knew what Callum did to Ben. He wonders if she would still be so kind to him. “Afternoon, Ms. Beale.”

“Oh, Kathy’s fine, dear. No need to make me feel all old.”

“Can I just get the usual, mum? Make that two.” Ben piped up, exhaustion replacing his previous frustration.

“Course! It’ll be out in a few.”

Callum still follows closely behind Ben as he lets him choose a seat. He settles down into one of the far corner booths, away from prying eyes and listening ears. The place isn’t even that busy yet, but he supposes Ben just wanted to be sure they’d have their own space. They both sit across from each other, and Callum gently places the tulip on top the table.

Since Ben still hasn’t said anything, Callum decides to speak first. “Ben, y’know nothing of what Whitney said was true, right?”

Ben let out a deep breath. “I dunno, Cal. She seemed to know exactly what she was sayin’.”

“Okay, maybe some of it was true,” Callum regretfully concedes. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I want to be with you. It’s over between us, I swear.”

Ben shakes his head.“That ain’t what I’m worried about.”

“Then… what is it?” Callum offers his hand for Ben to take. He doesn’t grab onto it.

“You say you’re out, but who really knows about it?” Ben whispers.

Callum’s heart picked up as he couldn’t come up with an answer to that question. He’s long since accepted who he was, but he hasn’t actually told many people.

Ben decides to keep going. “And judging by what just happened, clearly some people don’t fancy the idea of me and you being together. Maybe… maybe this ain’t such a good idea.”

Callum desperately grabbed onto Ben at that, his eyes pleading. “B-But what happened to screwing the past? We can’t let that get in the way anymore.”

“Well our past just keeps getting messier the more I learn.” Ben shakes his hand out of Callum’s, and rests it on his forehead.

That’s when Callum really takes in Ben’s appearance. Drops of sweat are trailing down the sides of his face, which is starting to lose its color. His eyes were shut tight, and his jaw was clenched.

“Ben? You alright? Ya looking a bit pale…”

“It’s fine, Cal. I’m fine.”

“Ben, if you ain’t feeling well you shouldn’t push—”

“Just leave it Callum. I mean it. I’ll… I’ll go get the food.”

As Ben went to stand, his legs trembled and his body shivered as if he were cold. He’s almost able to walk to the front counter, but before he could make it there, Ben lurches forward, his motionless body crashing into the tables and chairs in front of him. 

Callum’s scream mixed with Kathy’s, and the sight that he had witnessed made his blood run cold.

[countcalebwrites]

My military experience Pt. 1

I wanted to travel and get the fuck outta Louisiana. My dad and my brother had air force experience. I figured I’d join them. So I called a recruiter and started the process. My mother was really angry.

Shit man. A lot of my cousins around where I was raised are drug dealers. I was a late teenager who was homeschooled that wanted to get away without tons of college debt. The military just seemed like the answer. So I went to the recruiter. Had to train for a few months and make sure I was able to run and be in shape.

My body and running don’t mix. I have an uneven natural balance and my feet are large (I wear size 17) and rigid with no shock support. When I run, my back my hips, and my feet hurt. A lot. I remember running one morning and trying to take all the pain I possibly could and then fainting on the side of the road. This one lady stopped her car and said “oh I thought you were dead”

Awkward.

Anyway, my physical shape was acceptable. I still couldn’t run but I hoped that’d fix itself somehow down the line. I had to focus on the other part: passing the test to get in in the first place. So eventually I got transferred to a base in New Orleans. I had my own hotel room! (that I ended up sharing with this navy dude but whatever) My memory a little hazy but I remember there was a waitress at the restaurant connected to the hotel, and while we were eating, the navy dude made a motion like he was sucking her boobs. I don’t know why I felt the need to share that detail, but yeah. She did have big boobs I guess.

Anyway, we go to the base to take the tests. I think first test I took was the ASVAB. Something like that. Just know it’s an air force assessment test. I had sinus issues and my nose kept running while I was taking the test so I took it slower than my peers I remember. I didn’t want anyone to see my nose running so I waited a bit so I could sneak out unseen and maybe get to the bathroom for some tissue. When I walked out, I instantly get handed the test and everyone is looking at me and the guy is like “nice young man you got an 84!” and everyones looking at me and clapping. Then someone is like “yeah we were waiting on you, about time”

I’m just trying to make sure no one is noticing my nose running the whole time.

Awkward.

I was happy with my score. I didn’t study for the test or anything and it was high enough to get me the job I wanted: Cyber Systems Operator. My main goal with the military was to get computer science experience for 4 years and go get a programming job or something.

Anyway, I had to do physical tests too. The recruiter kept saying don’t mention things you don’t need to mention or you’ll probably get sent home. I understood what he meant. We had to take a drug test. I remember going to the bathroom and this black dude was like yeah do your thing brotha. I was like aight…

I was pretty proud of myself that I was able to piss on command like that. One dude kept having to go back and drink water.

I also remember us getting our blood drawn for something. This one army dude who kept talking all tough was yelling and screaming when the nurse went to draw his blood. The nurse was like “Are you really…a grown man..afraid of getting your blood drawn?”

When it was my turn she said “I hope you not gonna cry like that last guy” lmao

I remember a doctor having to examine me and he asked if I had any birthmarks and I told him I have one near my chest. He asked to see it and I said I didn’t feel comfortable taking my clothes off for that. He looked really annoyed. Later I get the same doctor for another test where he has to feel my balls for something. So I told him “well since you know….we’ve gone this far…I guess I can show you my birthmark. And sorry.”

He told me it didn’t matter anymore and he understood my anxiety.

After all that, it turns out I was SPECIAL and had to go to a doctor who wasn’t on the base about my ears and my feet. So I had to stay in the hotel again then head to the appointments they set for me

My new roommate was an army guy. I didn’t really know much about him but he liked putting the TV on cartoon network. He didn’t seem like he wanted to kill people or anything. Just some white dude who said he wanted to be a cook or something, I don’t remember.

So anyway, I head off to my appointments. I first went to a doctor for my foot. I remember a really hot receptionist chick. I was like damn I wish I lived in New Orleans. I was afraid to make eye contact with her!!! I felt so adultish, filling out paperwork and etc on my own while being afraid of a hot receptionist chick. The doctor talked to me and the whole convo was basically I don’t know if your foot can handle it but hey, might as well try. I agreed.

The other doctor I saw cleaned my ears and things suddenly were louder to me. That blew my mind. I had never really been to an ear doctor before and I didn’t know that was possible.

Blah blah. I go back to the base. After I wait in the waiting room for like 8 HOURS I finally got to go back home. I’m not exaggerating 8 hours. I saw Gridiron Gang and some other movie and I played Halo. I remember when I was playing Halo there was a black chick next to me giving me advice. She was like “you gotta shoot them!!” and I was like “thank you for telling me that I have to shoot people. in this shooting game” She was kinda cute but her yelling was making me nervous which is why I was just like ok I’ll just put the TV back on movies.

So fast foward I end up going back to the New Orleans base months later and I got sworn in as a trainee! I remember this one fellow air force dude said the plot to Inception was bothering him a lot so I tried to explain it. I don’t think my analysis got through to him, but whatever. We get our plane tickets and all that shit. I remember one dude was like “Damn our souls basically belong to the government now” and I was thinking “wow kinda late to be thinking about that huh??”

Fast forward we on the plane. I didn’t get seated next to my fellow air force ppl. I sat by this white lady leaving New Orleans. She was really nice to me. I was kinda spooked by it. I was like “why is this white lady being so nice, she plottin some shit??”

She asked if I was a boy scout or something cause I walked in with a bunch of other teen boys and I was like “Nah we air force” etc. She told me “Thank you for your service” and I was like “well I didn’t really do anything yet ma’am haha” (and I wanted to say I’m doing this to make a better life for myself not for the country but whatever)

I got off and got on another plane in Texas. This plane had a lot more military ppl on it. I sat by this black dude from chicago. He told me I seem really chill, then he pointed at a dude in front of us and said “see that dude? He’s 18. And married.”

“what an idiot. I’ll fuck a girl but I ain’t about to marry her you know??”

I just kinda nodded and said something like “heh yea I’m not tryna do relationships right now, especially marriage tho”

Off the plane. And the whole atmosphere changed. I suddenly felt anxious. I was right to feel that way.

Suddenly people are yelling “GET ON THE BUS” and etc. I realized this is it. This is the start of training. I got on the bus. They explained a bunch of shit to us and told us to walk in the building. This training instructor kept yelling NIKE and I was like who that. And I had a nike shirt on. He was talking about me. Oh shit. I don’t really remember much stuff here but I remember getting yelled at a lot. Stuff like “get up the stairs you moron!” and etc. I later found out these verbal insults are scripted and I shouldn’t take them to heart.

After a bunch of brainwashing seminars and shit we get sent to our dorm. The training instructor who escorted us there was this white man and he swore a few times. Then he told us that if we like rap then we shouldn’t be offended by the swearing. I guess his logic made sense. I didn’t really care but yeah.

The next day we get our REAL training instructor. A black dude. Dude was ripped. And terrifying cause he seemed like he had mood swings. Another  scripted Training Instructor trait. We had to go get our underwear, uniforms, etc. I remember when I had to get my boots. They didn’t have any boots in 17. I was confused. and afraid. I just took a random pair and walked off and this one lady called me back and gave me a pair of 16s. They fit pretty decently. But I was late because of all that. So when I rejoined with the group, the instructor was like “and that’s how you cuff your pants” and I was like “shit. this is gonna come back to haunt me isn’t it??”

It did. I got yelled at for not having my pants cuffed properly several times.

Here’s another thing about my foot: I also can’t stand for long periods of time. I can walk around just fine. But standing in place hurts too. I get fidgety and shift my body to stop the pain. That got noticed by my instructor very quickly–he eventually pulled me aside and asked me what my problem was. I told him and he told me I should go to the doctor soon.

I went to the emergency room. These two chicks had basically graduated from training were there for something, don’t really remember. They asked what was wrong and I said my foot. They went “Awww” and I honestly didn’t know how to take it because there’s this kinda toxic masculine culture I picked up quickly in the military so I couldn’t tell if they were being sarcastic or really saying “aww poor you”

Anyway, I saw the doctor. He told me “hah, you’re fucked” after looking at my foot, which was turning blue. In those words. He asked where I was from and I told him. He mentioned the term “Coonass” that he picked up from when he was stationed in Louisiana. When I told him “coonass” is probably a racist term, he told me “whoa woops I didn’t know.”

He told me he liked me cause I was really laid back and jokey with him despite all what was going on and wrote a waiver saying I can sit or exclude myself from physical activity whenever I wanted.

Hell yeah! (Kinda)

I wasn’t going to be able to graduate with that waiver, so in the end, it was just a temporary relief thing.

I took a psych eval test somewhere in this week and it asked all kinda questions about mental state, suicide, depression, etc. I admitted I was depressed. It was very depressing being in this hostile environment with a foot that was preventing me from doing everything properly.

I later got called in by the psych eval people. I was really worried that saying I was depressed was gonna get me in trouble or something. Turns out I had left a question blank.

“Have you ever considered suicide?”

Well….damn. I think I spaced out when I saw that question. I told the truth. I did as a younger teen. (and I was getting close to there in this situation, because I felt like dead weight and my brain was going numb, but I wasn’t going to tell that psych eval dude that)

He asked why I didn’t do it and I told him because it would bring too much stress on my family. That was that. Back to my dorm. I had an appointment scheduled for my foot (a doctor that wasn’t an ER doctor). Somewhere in all that, I remember we had this speech by this Carl Winslow looking ass instructor. He walked in and said “Yo ass is grass, and I’m the lawnmower.”

My dad told me that quote a lot. I smiled because I finally realized where he got it from.

I didn’t smile after he told us that the government owns us and could sentence us to death if we don’t cooperate though.

Anyway, I remember going to church. You (kinda) have to go. You don’t HAVE to, but if you don’t, you gotta stay back in the dorm and clean up. I’d rather pretend to listen than do that. So yeah. There were two sessions. First session was this small study session or something. This lady put on this christian military music video and I found it a perfect time to nap a bit, as I was pretty sleep-deprived. I woke up and this dude was crying saying it was so touching to see the story of the troop guy coming home to his wife. I was like “yea dope or whatever” (I didn’t see it, as I slept)

After that, we got to the main part of the church. There were different kinds of services you could go to. Even wiccan! But I chose christian, cause I didn’t really want to stand out or anything. It was ALL PROPAGANDA.

Like extremely. The preacher said God wants you to go fight and God doesn’t like cowards. I was like “Alrighty then” and started tuning out anything after that. Whack ass shit.

Fast forward, got to go to my doctor’s appointment. The air force was coming off some type of sex abuse scandal, so the rule was: you can only travel in groups of 2 or more. You cannot travel alone. So I had a partner to come with me. I went to my doctor’s appointment and the doctor told me my foot issue will probably only get worse and I should probably seperate from the military unless I can somehow numb the pain. Damn. I walk out, and my wingman is gone. I was stranded at the damn’s doctor office for hours and I ended up missing lunch. Cool.

I remember calling the office for my dorm and explaining my situation. He kept saying “Trainee, where’s your wingman?” and I kept saying “I don’t know.” Then he said “”You are a waste of The USA’s resources. Goodbye.” and hang up. That kinda hurt my feelings lmao but the doctor near me told me “well it’s not your fault”

That was that. I got transferred to another dorm later. I’ll continue this another time and talk about what happened in that dorm and the end of my military career.

P2 here

[isaacathom]

 jesus christ the more i think about them fighting the more difficult the scenario becomes to actually justify

though i can roughly track the idea. after the first failed attempt to ‘rescue’ Seora, which was a small team led primarily by the Captain (on a boner quest), the light kingdom sets up an army to full on storm the castle where she is being kept. the captain bursts down the door. Seora and Esther are waiting together in the main room, and probably with one or two more Warrior Maidens. It’s a last chance to negotiate. somewhat inevitably, it doesnt succeed. he has backup in the form of at least one Ritual Maiden (and someone that Seora knows personally). he also has A Gun. when he draws it, either Seora knocks it out of his hand and sends it flying across the room, OR redirects the bullet he fires and THEN knocks it out. the captains pretty peeved by this. of course he is. he wants to stick his assholish little peepee in this bitch and shes clearly been tainted by ~The Darkness~ so time to sort that out. a minor melee ensues wherein the goal is for one of the two sides to grab Seora and drag her back. Esther rushes in with sword raised and power ready to fuck up the Captain, so the two of them end up in their own tango. the Captains backup attempt to tackle Seora to the ground so she cant interfere (and also to recover her, i guess) while the Warrior Maidens attempt to protect her. She’s also protecting herself. In this complete chaos, the Ritual Maiden who was brought on this mission is left further back and proceeds to deflect Esther’s magic, leaving her to rely on her swordsmanship instead.

it then likely proceeds mostly as a straight up sword fight between the two, surrounded by complete chaos as both sides fight over Seora and Seora tries to get away so she can help Esther. At some point she is likely nabbed with some form of magic cancellation (which earlier on took the form of magic handcuffs that Esther used, but this time probably takes the form of like, a specially crafted gauntlet with the same properties. if shes ‘contained’ by such an item, she cant use magic. this is the advantage that the kingdom has, because all of their troops have stuff that cancels magic. it doesnt /work/ as protections, per se, but it works as PREVENTION. proactive, not reactive. like handcuffs dont stop bullets but they stop a guy from grabbing his gun) which prevents her from really protecting herself because her sole skill is magic. she has no training in self defence, or certainly not enough to be impactful to a great degree. 

at some point, that Ritual Maiden up back works out that Esther is focussing on the swordfight aspect and not the magic, and so starts using her magic to actively hinder her ability to proceed. Blinding light (which also hurts the Captain soooo oops), gusts of wind, making her blade slippery and hard to hold. its not anywhere near as effective as the Maiden might like, because Esther is a fucking professional, but it definitely puts her on the defensive rather than the offensive.

what probably cinches the deal for the Captain is Seora probably gets actually dogpiled as some point. like this guard is clutching her wrist p tight to prevent her magic and then in attempt to get him the Fuck off she backs up but then like tackling ensues??? it doesnt go great. she topples to the floor and its a notably /thud/. mostly because of the knights tripping on her dress but also like, yknow, 3 full people fell on the fucking floor. its a notable ENOUGH thud that Esther gets distracted. and because Seora stands out QUITE a bit in that chaos over yonder, its VERY obvious that she isnt there. as in, not standing up. she’s like 6′3 and pale blue with like plat blonde hair amidst a pile of sweaty knights of various heights but notably wider and all human coloured, and a pile of dark blue maidens with blue-white hair who aren’t anywhere near as tall. she’s the tallest fucker in the room. so her not being upright is immediately noticeable. she wouldnt necessarily be visible on the floor depending on where the guards are relative to her. Esther would lose her cool. even if just for a second, the fact she cant see Seora immediately disconnects her from the swordfight. from there, its a one two and the captain is holding her throat with his off hand and preparing his blade with the other. she lost the advantage.

its at this point that the Ritual Maiden backing up the captain likely loses her cool. Ritual Maidens, unlike their Warrior counterparts, arent military. they have very little connection to the military. her presence here basically came about because the Captain forced her to do it and managed to convince everyone it was necessary. she’s not a fighter, and she’s not comfortable with war. this whole scenario has been pretty upsetting for her. now, seeing the Captain preparing to murder Esther, she’s not taking it well. Neither is Seora, who can see whats happening between peoples feet.

in the tumble, whoever had a grip on Seora let go. she’s magically unrestrained, and seeing her friend battered and bruised and at the mercy of a guy she’s always thought was a Cunt, she probably fucking wind explodes. bwoosh. everyone in the crowd flies back. the captain wobbles but does not fall, and retains his grip on Esther throat, blocking Esther’s magic. the Ritual Maiden up back probably falls over and bursts into tears, completely removing any protections she had placed on the Captain (which had likely prevented him falling). Esther’s still on the ground desperately tryna claw his hand off but has probably briefly halted out of sheer ‘oh fuc’ which is reasonable but probably not the best choice she could have made. 

then  uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. yea. im not positive from there. if seora is sufficiently pissed and has time she’d just immediately blast the Captain off and then try to kill him. but she doesnt have time. so how does that occur? he has to stop her from taking direct action against him. for instance, by using Esther as a shield. Drop the blade, take both hands, pick her up and hold her by her neck in front of him, probably then grabbing one of her own daggers to use as the direct threat. you raise a finger, she dies. Seora, who has now gotten up off the floor, can’t directly react. she cant move him, because he’ll react by immediately drawing the blade. she’s short on time, because yknow, Esther is getting choked tf out. at best, she can stall for time by like. putting extra air around esther for her to get while she figures out a plan. that plan likely being to play off of the Captain’s superstition that she’s been tricked or possessed or something of that ilk by Esther. So if she can time a sorta heel-face turn properly, she can lull the Captain into genuinely thinking that her prior behavior was linked directly to Esther, and that Esther is now no longer an issue. its difficult to time, because it basically requires Esther to pass out, which is pretty dangerous. yknow, for obvious reasons. but if Seora can time it (perhaps pretending to partially lapse as Esther starts fading off and then ‘full lapsing’  BEFORE Esther actually passes out), then the Captain will drop Esther. Probably flinging her in the direction of her battered and bruised Warrior comrades (at least some of whom were probably killed in the chaos, as the same on the other side) and accepting Seora back.

The warrior maidens are absolutely furious. a) because they also think that the Captain just killed Esther, which is A HUGE ISSUE and b) that Seora was fucking with them the whole time. which is an issue, because of a lot of Seora’s time in the dark kingdom was spent with her and Esther convincing the other warrior maidens that Seora planned to help them. So Seora pulling a heel-face (or face-heel, in the eyes of the Warriors) is a complete betrayal of trust. a few of them might vaguely suspect its an act, but the whole group are very confused and very angry. for the most part, nursing their injuries (both from the fight AND from being flung willy nilly by Seora) they resolve to simply grab Esther and hang back. the Captain’s men start celebrating. at least one of them goes to comfort the absolutely distraught Ritual Maiden, who likely only got more upset when Esther was flung aside because UHMMM IS THAT AN ACTUAL DEAD BODY???? shes losing her poor mind. poor dear. today was not a good day.

the Captain, being that he is on a Boner Quest™, moves to claim his prize. Seora doesn’t fucking want it, you bet your fucking ass, but this is part of the plan. they kiss. the Captain is probably an awful kisser also, just to make that less fun. the light side cheer. the dark side wail. noones really paying attention as the Captain’s discard sword gently floats directly up into the air and then moves gently into Seora’s open hand. noone notices as she pulls her arm back and orients the blade. noone except the Ritual Maiden, perhaps, who sees it through her tears and attempts to warn someone, anyone. but the guards attending to her assume that she’s referring to past events.

shick. the dark side stop wailing abruptly. there a brief moment of silence as the light side also abruptly stop cheering, with the only noise being the Ritual Maiden’s wails. then Seora kicks the Captain away. he stumbles. before he can fall, she says some slick one line (while probably also spitting because odds are solid her mouth is full of his gross saliva and possibly his blood, nasty) and with windy magic, blasts his backwards through the wall. whoosh. there he. fucking goes. theres still quiet as everyone processes what the fuck just occured. Seora probably tosses the Captain’s bloodied sword to the floor (because what amateur would leave the blade in the wound? this is stylin) and thennn????? im not completely sure how she resolves that. because like, make no mistake, the Captain is dead. the Ritual Maiden is in complete distress and theres no way she can heal him in this state. Seora won’t. the dark side wont. even if he were collected and promptly rushed to the nearest willing AND able maiden, it’d be too late. everyone knows it. Everyone knows thats why she blasted him through the wall. he’s dead. Seora, nominal leader of the Ritual Maidens of the Kingdom of Light, just killed the Captain of Kingdom of Light Military. in their hearts, the light side all knew she was potentially capable of it. she’d attacked him the last time they’d come to get her, though to a far lesser extent. bruised in body and in pride, he’d survived. but they’d all bought into the Captain’s belief, because they had to. they couldnt believe that such a figure could kill without some tainting influence. they had to believe their superstitions, because the reality of the matter - that Seora had chosen her own side and was going to stand for it - was terrifying. it was a sort of moral quandary the kingdom of light hadnt been forced to wrestle with since the civil war.

but there she was. wild.

odds are solid the light side wouldnt retaliate. how could they? how could they attempt to harm the person theyd come to rescue? how could they fight her, when she had just killed their leader and had the power to kill them, too? the upper hand, psychologically, and in timing. she would see them move. she would react. she could preemptively attack.

the light side stood their ground and screamed. someone hesitantly began to move over to the hole in the wall, constantly stopping and looking at a motionless Seora, expecting her to stop them. when she did not, they gestured for someone else to come with and rushed through the hole. how could they not? they had to attend to the captain, no matter what.

its likely then that what brought Seora out of her brief ‘state’, if you will, is an involuntary sob from the dark side. after all, they’re still upset about Esther. and Seora is too. and its that sound, a sob from behind her, that snaps her out of her brief moment of contemplation. probably spits one last time (for now, at least - bet your fucking ass she washes her mouth out once this is all over as many times as necessary to feel like shes cleaned it) and then rushes to Esther’s side. everyones basically gonna stick to their sides for a while as the light rush to the Captain and the dark huddle around Esther and Seora. Esther is fine. she’s injured, but she’s fine. Seora is well equipped to help her recover, at least as a result of her wind magic being able to help Esther breathe. what with the choking and such. 

the first one to probably break the tense quiet is probably one of the Warriors. the defacto leader since Esther’s not really up for that right this second. its basically just something fairly simple - ‘i think perhaps its time for proper negotiation?’. one of the fighters gets up (leaving their weapons down) and approaches with an open hand. the defacto leader gets up and shakes their hand. the deal is set. everyone present in this castle will return to the border of the two kingdoms and negotiations will be had. the dark kingdoms creeping darkness will finally, finally, be dealt with. Esther bursts into absolutely delighted tears. its basically been her life’s work to get the two countries to work together. The Warriors, satisfied that Esther is fine and safe with Seora, come slowly over to the light side to help them tend to their wounds. everyone sorta mingles a little. the fighters who’d attempted to tend to the captain return from the other room and also help. esther and seora embrace a/o kiss. curtains close.

then the negotiations come and a solid chunk of it is arguing what should actually be done with Seora. because the light wanted her back, she WANTS to be with the dark, pluuusss she killed one of the military leaders straight out. noone can (or would) argue that it was some sort of crossfire incident. it was very deliberate. admittedly the only real witness is the traumatised Ritual Maiden who, understandably, really doesnt want to talk about it. so, yknow. it’s a tough negotiation. Seora is only allowed to take part as though she were on trial, basically explaining that the Captain has always been a dick and that yea, she doesnt deny killing him. like at no point does she deny it. she even explains - in detail if pressed - the moment she formulated a plan to attack him with intent to badly harm if not kill, and how she tricked him and used her magic to get his sword. the entire negotiating committee agree yea, she’s guilty, we get it. but what to do with that? Seora is probably willing to go to light kingdom prison provided the darkness cleanse goes ahead. so it’s possible her fate would be left up to the end of the negotiations once the plan of ‘attack’ has been agreed upon. its a big mess. she’s completely up for prison, but Esther is Very Adamant that this not be the course of action. im not actually sure how it could resolve without anger. potentially the dark kingdom offer to put her to work as the darkness cleanser. part of a grand metaphor to ‘absolve herself of sin in the eyes of your patron deity’. which could actually work. the light kingdom love that sorta shit. so if the dark kingdom said ‘hey, ok, an idea - we take her into our custody. we- im not done, hold on - we put her to work primarily in our agreed upon darkness cleaning groups. especially in the city, where the darkness is most concentrated. it’ll be hard work, we’ve established that, mmn? and, and, as she cleans away the darkness, she can clean away this mark upon her soul, dont you think? then hopefully when she is done - when the kingdom is clean - she’ll be capable of being forgiven. how does that sound?’. the only hitch would be ensuring she works. Esther is forbidden from saying a fucking word by the second in command, who is.... a bit more diplomatic on this specific front. Seora will be assigned to a group of assorted Dusk Maidens who will watch her 24/7. she will stay with them. if she doesnt work, punishment will ensue. if she doesnt work for a period of time - a few weeks, maybe - then the dark kingdom agrees to hand over Seora to the light kingdom to face a more.... judicial form of justice.

its uh. good fun. i’ve been here for three hours.

uh, tldr; Seora disarms the Captain, who orders his men to capture Seora. Esther goes to fight the Captain, while the dusk maidens and light army start fighting over a Very Unhappy Seora, who defends herself. Esther and the Captain fight with swords, with a Ritual Maiden backing up the captain and sabotaging Esther. just as Esther starts having to go on the defensive due to the Ritual meddling, Seora gets her magic blocked by a light army soldier who manages to grab her arm to stop her from fighting back or aiding Esther. in attempting to wriggle free, she falls back, followed by that soldier and possibly a few other people. Esther, being distracted by her gfs shenanigans, is quickly disarmed and pinned to the ground by the Captain, who starts choking her (cancelling magic) and prepares to run her through with his blade. Seora, on the ground and free of the soldiers grasp (and they had let go during the fall) basically explodes w/ the Windy Magic, sending the group blasting back. the Captain remains crouched where he is over Esther in part due to the Ritual Maiden, who falls over and starts crying. Before a completely unrestrained and pissed Seora can get up and prepare to fuck with the Captain, he drops his sword, picks up Esther, and positions her between him and Seora, and still choking her. Seora, thinking ~fast~, decides to play to the Captains superstition that she’s being controlled, and pretends that Esther’s control over her has lapsed, just as Esther starts proper passing out from the whole lack of air deal. Captain chucks Esther aside into the waiting arms of an absolutely distraught group of Warrior Maidens, and prepares to “claim his prize”. light kingdom cheers, dark kingdom boos and swears revenge (since they think Seora was pretending to be on their side the whole time) and ritual maiden keeps crying. then seora uses her magic to grab the captains sword (or maybe Esther’s sword, both are good) and uses it to run him the fuck through, before blasting him through at least one wall (holding onto the blade).

everyone freaks, she rushes to Esther’s side and uses magic (and/or cpr what the fuck do you want from me im way too gay for that to NOT possibly happen) to help her recover. eventually the two groups come to an agreement and start tending to their wounded and dead (including the captain who is straight up deceased fuck that guy).

then in the negotiations the big Issue (beyond the whole ‘cleaning the tainted darkness’ thing) is What the Fuck to do abou Seora. who absolutely and undeniably murdered a guy. the end result is more than likely that she is placed into direct Dusk Maiden servitude, ‘forced’ to cleanse the darkness under constant supervision. of course, what the light kingdom dont know or dont really comprehend is that she’s gonna get put into a squad including her basically gf Esther and a bunch of other Warrior Maidens who think she’s the bees knees, AND a bunch of other dusk maidens who have heard alllllll about her and adore her. she’s basically gonna get pampered as fuck. it’s gonna be great. she’s going to have a great time. she basically gets to do exactly what she’s wanted to do since a little after she was first kidnapped, AND gets to hang with a bunch of folk she thinks are pretty cool even if they probably tried to kill her or torture her at some point. she gets it.... to a point. there a few she doesnt hang with. everyones cool about it. 

tl;tl;dr;dr esther gets beat and then seora kills a man but then seora and esther get to be happy and gay so frankly it all works out Pretty Well