#trying to make the movie less horrific for myself...

[thereadingmoon]

if you think about it, the substance is just the cinderella fairy tale for the nine houses and it's set on the Third

[aihoshiino]

chapter 147 thoughts

you guys ever hear the tale of the monkey's paw. grants your wish but you suffer dire consequences as a result? just felt relevant to this chapter for some reason. anyway.

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Completely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 4

I'm gonna be up front and say that while I really wanted to like this chapter and it has the bones of interesting ideas, so many of the existing issues with the Movie Arc just bring it crashing back down. I probably dislike it more than I necessarily should because knowing that this definitely is the end and seeing concretely in hindsight just how much time was wasted and how much excellent material has been squandered or flat out skipped over entirely just makes me want to put my head through a brick wall. And it just sucks because, like… man, I don't want to dislike Oshi no Ko! I really don't enjoy feeling like I'm just putting negativity out each chapter because when the story hits, it hits so fucking good!! The Movie Arc has been clunky but it's had some truly breathtaking individual moments and character beats that make me remember why I fell in love with the series so deeply but then chapters like this come along and I wonder why I'm even bothering to keep reading.

anyway. Anyway.

To my genuine shock and surprise, the RBHK conversation happens entirely onscreen and isn't needlessly dragged out which I will take as a W at this point. What is less of a W is how just… underwhelming this ended up being? This is Hikaru's first meeting (that we know of) with the child he fathered and then essentially orphaned… at least as far as Ruby is concerned. So her total lack of reaction to him is baffling. The question currently seems to be whether Ruby is only pretending not to recognize him in order to try and pry the answer she's looking for out of him or whether Akasaka really, genuinely wants me to believe that Ruby does not recognize her father, when Akane recognized him on sight, he looks identical to her twin brother she spent 18 years growing up with and she is in the middle of MAKING A MOVIE THAT STARS HIM. If the latter is the intent then all I can say is that I feel genuinely fucking insulted on Ruby's behalf at her being dumbed down this badly and for myself as a reader that Akasaka thinks I'm stupid enough to buy this. So I am very much hoping it's the former.

The talk they go onto have is also………………………….. man. I want to like it. I really want to pull it apart and analyze it because it is fascinating. It's a really important look into Ruby's feelings and I even myself said this was something I really wanted to see Ruby dealing with - being faced with the realization that the person who killed her mother isn't some ephemeral faceless force of uncomplicated evil, but a fucked up human being who was hurt and suffering and who faced horrific and monstrous abuse just like Ai did. The idea of Ruby wrestling with her conflicting feelings of empathy and resentment, similar to Kana trying to reconcile her lingering hurt with her love for Ruby as her friend, is super compelling.

But like… she didn't! Akasaka having Ruby look into the camera and having her say "uhhh i was totally having all these deep and complicated feelings this whole time trust me bro" is the first we have heard Ruby struggle with literally any of this. It's yet another example of what I've been saying this whole time of Akasaka both lacking enough respect for Ruby to seriously interrogate her as a character and rushing her to the endpoint of what should have been long term characterization in lieu of showing us the work it takes to get there. Rather than organically weaving any of this into the prior story and letting us actually see Ruby work through this, she just starts awkwardly monologing about it to a conveniently placed guy who is, depending on your interpretation of the chapter, either some rando with an umbrella or the guy she's pretty sure killed her mom.

There is no reason her struggling to reconcile these contrasting feelings of resentment and empathy couldn't have been explored as the movie was being filmed. There were countless opportunities for this to have come up while the movie was filming the scenes dealing with Hikaru's abuse - we even get this set up in 139 during the filming of their first meeting but it gets derailed by a dumb brocon joke because I guess that was more important to spend pagetime on than the arc Akasaka is trying to suddenly pretend Ruby was having.

And it's not like it even matters! Unless the next arc is also going to be about 15 Year Lie where we interrogate the content of the movie not shown to us, Ruby's struggle here comes to nothing. That overhanging question of "Will Ai('s actress) forgive her killer or not?" is cut short and goes unanswered. So what was the point of this?

I also just really can't get my head around this continued thread of Ruby wanting to be an idol who 'surpasses' Ai. I had a whole rant about it here I ended up deleting lol but the long and the short of it is it feels entirely incongruous with the series' broader portrayal and Ruby's own attitude about chasing Ai's light and what being an idol did to Ai but at this point I've given up.

The exchange with Kamiki that follows is like, the one part of this chapter I think is just uncomplicatedly interesting and worth interrogation. He actually gives Ruby a lot of genuinely good advice here - that she can only find an answer to that question by interrogating it herself and an answer from someone else won't solve the issue. Does she actually want suffering and revenge? Are those really at the core of who she is as a person?

The framing here is obviously and overtly sinister and suspicious and we're pretty clearly supposed to think he was about to shove Ruby down the stairs, but a few things jumped out to me. The first is that if you pay attention to the backgrounds, they seem to have actually already been close to if not at ground level by the time Akane caught up to them, so… what exactly was a push from that height going to do if he did, in fact, push her?

Not only that but uh… holy shit! His white hoshigan!!!!

Like, am I misremembering, or is this not the one and only time we have ever seen adult Hikaru - maybe even the real Hikaru full stop - without black hoshigans??? Given what we've seen of him so far and how the black hoshigans have been used as a symbol, if he really was about to kill Ruby… where did THAT come from?

Added together with the deeply sympathetic portrayal of his younger self in the movie, it continues to raise a lot of questions for me as to exactly what we're supposed to be thinking of Hikaru and how we're supposed to feel about him that I am finding very compelling. ambiguity enjoyers when the

NINO IS HERE!!!! MISS NINO I'M FREE THURSDAY NIGHT IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HANG OUT

Joking aside, I'm really glad Nino is here because it implies her whatever the fuck is going on situationship with Kamiki is going to continue into the final arc(s?) of the series and that we'll get to see more of her as a result. Nino's been one of my favourite OnK characters since I first read 45510 so any more content of her in the main story is a treat.

Kamiki's words about the movie killing him via public opinion also lines up with what I was expecting to happen more or less… I'm curious to see how this is all going to play out and what this means for Aqua given that, if last chapter is anything to go by, he's still very much struggling with suicidal ideation. can someone PLEASE give my son a bone crushing hug.

akane stalking kamiki is up there as one of the funniest things ever in this manga btw. what is wrong w her <3

This is unfortunately where me having nice things to say about this chapter ends because the chapter - and therefore the Movie Arc as a whole - ends with this transparently rushed sequence absolutely mach speech blasting through the remaining material of the movie in one and a half's pages worth of silent single panels. Honestly, I really can't properly articulate how mad and frustrated I am about this lmao. It really just feels like Akasaka admitting to the reader that he's stopped giving a shit about what the movie was supposed to be about. The HKAI breakup that was given a huge amount of setup and weight at the start of filming? Ai's pregnancy? AI'S DEATH???? It's all skipped over and brushed aside as if it never mattered in the first place. Never mind any of the interesting characterization we could've gotten out of it. Never mind that the Movie Arc was promised to be about Ai and untangling her past. Never fucking mind Ruby having literally any interiority about having to act out the death of her beloved mother and reliving the event that destroyed her and her brother's lives. If Akasaka doesn't care, why should I?

It feels like a slap in the face for getting invested in the story's promises and trying to engage with it. But of course, I'm going to be back like a clown doing just that when the next chapter drops anyway.

at least we're finally moving on to a new arc but by god. at what fucking cost.

break next week……………………………………………..

[thetypedwriter]

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow Book Review

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow Book Review by Gabrielle Zevin

This book fell into my lap. I usually don’t put much stock into other people’s opinions on books, but I had sooooo many people tell me to read this book—people I admire and look up to. So, of course, when my fiance procured a copy for himself, I decided to join him. 

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow is a book by author Gabrielle Zevin about a boy and a girl who make games together. That’s it, that’s the whole plot. It always amazes me when authors can take such a simple narrative and turn it into a beautifully crafted tale. 

The book itself is exquisitely written, with elegant prose, tasteful pacing, enchanting characters, and a rich timeline that starts with the characters’ childhoods and follows them well into their late thirties. 

The two characters are the creative, yet self-deprecating Samson Masur and the lovely and brilliant Sadie Green. The two meet as children in the hospital where Sam is recovering from a horrific car accident and bond over playing video games.

Little does Sadie know that Sam hasn’t spoken to a single person since the accident. Not one word—until Sadie. 

Following these two characters well into their adulthood makes you feel like you really know them. They’re complicated and messy, traumatized and hopeful. They have likes, dislikes, annoyances, flaws, struggles, and dreams. 

The gift of Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow is getting to know these two characters as well as you could know a real life person—an almost unimaginable task for a writer to do.

Because the plot is so simple (albeit still fascinating to see the progress and evolution of video games from the 1990’s to the 21st century) Zevin can focus wholeheartedly on Sam and Sadie’s characters, a literary choice that pays off in droves.

The way Sam and Sadie’s relationship changes over time makes the reader reminisce on their own friendships, especially childhood ones. As a book, it highlights the beauty and nuances of having someone you can call a best friend–emotions and ties that can mean more than romance.

The way Zevin portrays their relationship is nothing less than art. That isn’t to say that Sadie and Sam don’t fight or have their issues because oh boy, do they ever. But that’s life. Life is messy and unpredictable and as human beings we are vulnerable to insecurities and mistakes. 

Having double POV’s isn’t always my favorite, but in this case it was crucial. Seeing both sides allowed you, as a reader, to see how perception plays a role in us all.

A situation from Sadie’s POV points Sam as uncompassionate and unfeeling. From Sam’s POV you gain understanding and empathy—you piece together why he is doing what he’s doing, altering your omniscient perspective on the whole situation. 

It was splendidly crafted. 

As I’ve stated many many times before, I am a character driven reader. Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow is a character driven narrative all the way through.

More than magic battles or surprising plot twists, I found myself moved by the daily lives of two individuals trying their best. I was encouraged by their success and heartbroken by their losses. I felt like Sam and Sadie were my friends and I loved their story as if it were my own. 

If I were to have any criticism of this book it would be that all the problems could have been avoided if the characters just communicated with each other.

This isn’t a new issue. I have this problem with TV shows, other books, movies, etc. If people properly communicated, you wouldn’t have the challenges that arise (you also wouldn’t have a plot). 

While in some cases I can understand why Sadie and Sam would keep things from each other, for two people who spend an inordinate amount of time together you would think that they would…you know, talk more about their thoughts and feelings. 

I do think that Zevin took some liberties with how often Sadie and Sam kept each other in the dark while still proclaiming the other person to be the only soul on the planet who “really knows them” but it’s a forgivable error and one easily forgiven. 

Recommendation: If you like character driven stories as much as me (and video games to boot), then Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow will be your next addicting read. Like a video game, you’ll start it up, hit the next level, and be consumed until you reach the boss fight at the end. 

Score: 8/10

[bradassholemajors]

Wtf Is Shock Treatment’s Deal? (Or, Local Critic Discovers Escapism and Having Fun In The Midst of Late Stage Capitalistic Dread)

Watched Shock Treatment for the first time this week, and I am a changed man lol. Here are some disorganized thoughts:

I think something that makes Rocky Horror so special is that it can be as deep or not-deep as you want it to be. Like, if you want to think about the cultural implications of the themes portrayed (hedonism, gay & trans liberation, gender roles, the Invasion-of-the-Body-snatchers style infiltration of outside queer forces, the downfall of the safety contained within a collective identity), you can absolutely do that! There’s so much to be interpreted there!! But if you are just here to see Tim Curry looking incredibly sexy and violently thrust along to the Time Warp at a midnight showing with a bunch of cool strangers, that is absolutely awesome, too. Slay!! Take what you want.

BUT SHOCK TREATMENT MANNNN??? Shock Treatment is a whole different ballgame lol. Like, it is also a thematically rich goldmine, if you’re willing to squint a little— in terms of content included, not necessarily how it’s portrayed within the narrative. In the words of Barry Bostwick here, “it was a statement about the future that we weren't quite ready to explore. We didn't really even have the mental emotional vocabulary to understand what Richard [O’Brien, the creator] was trying to say.” I think this is spot-fucking-on!!! It’s absolutely frighteningly prescient, especially today in terms of the commodification of mental health. Like, woah. Janet being crowned “Miss Mental Health” felt like such a Gwyneth Paltrow moment. Cultural prophet Richard O’Brien saw the dark cloud of Betterhelp and wellness culture galloping over in the horizon in the distance of the American landscape, and he set out to warn us.

I still don’t quite understand what happened in the movie. I still don’t know what my takeaway was supposed to be. And I guess if you’re a little insane and love having fun doing thematic analysis with weird media (like me), taking Shock Treatment seriously may be right for you, lol. But thematically overall I think it’s safe to say: it’s a lot less coherent than its predecessor. It’s messy. It’s not interested in being flawless. It’s not interested in appealing to an audience. It’s barely interested in being a sequel. Shock Treatment is lowkey pointing and laughing in the face of those who showed up expecting a masterpiece— which admittedly was me, because I take Rocky Horror pretty seriously. (I put off watching Shock Treatment for a while bc I wasn’t sure about how it would affect the Rocky Horror Universe I had in my head.) If not for the internet reviews prepping me, I would have walked in completely expecting another nuanced perfect symphony of a movie to measure up to Rocky Horror’s magic.

But the thing was? Watching Shock Treatment, it ended up I did not really care!!!!! I was having the time of my life!!!!!

(more under the cut whoops)

Wtf was going on!!!!!!!!!!! Who knows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still don’t quite know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I loved it!!!

This reaction of such joy, just letting myself vibe out made me think because when did I start getting surprised when watching a movie is more pleasurable than not??? Isn’t that the entire point of media??

I think with the modern commodification of media analysis and examining pop culture up close, I’d argue that Fun Media without a message is actually pretty hard to come by— at least in mainstream culture. Even stuff as sanitized as Disney movies are now digging into like generational trauma, appealing to what seems to be a collective search for depth (or at least the appearance of depth.) Modern neo-nazi brands of fascism wields power like never before, horrific images of violence follow everyone left and right. Sometimes it seems like this open secret, that everyone knows there’s this looming darkness at the forefront of our minds at all times.

So this transition from Rocky Horror to Shock Treatment felt actually sort of powerful to me. Rocky Horror’s generation-long reverberations of shamelessly depicting sensual revelry are so powerful; it’s bold even for today! (Of course, we all know transvestite isn’t a term commonly used today, but looking at it through the lens of its time, it becomes clear what a miracle the movie is. Knowing what it must have meant to queer people at the time it became a phenomenon— giving them a real space to be themselves in a hostile world criminalizing who they were, in a time of oppressive pressure to stay silent — that is the type of brave blatant acceptance hard to come by in any era.) Rocky Horror is something I don’t know if will ever happen again, and its sequel seems to concur.

Shock Treatment has been called a cash grab but I beg to differ. If you’ve seen it, no offense: but does this seem marketable to you??? It seems like it’s a Richard O’Brien project (already wacky) that went through several levels of development hell and heavy modifications through the creative process. Said with the utmost respect… it may have got away from them a bit. Put lovingly, Shock Treatment lowkey kinda sucks a little at times. It’s silly, it’s got a huge cast and musical fun galore. It’s serving B-movie realness. I don’t say this to bash on it, I say this with a bemused respect— I think the existence of Shock Treatment is as much a miracle as Rocky Horror (aren’t all creations???)

So in the first iteration, we have advocacy and fighting for freedom for those long silenced… but also, Shock Treatment seems to allow the creators to just let themselves have fun. Aren’t they both revolutions in their own right? Does everything have to be lasting cultural milestones or does our enjoyment matter in the moment? I’d argue we need both as human beings to thrive. It comes back to that Rocky-Horror-experience philosophy I covered where you’re taking what you feel you need most from the media you consume: a message or a celebration of just being here.

In conclusion, sometimes shit doesn’t have to be that deep. More movies should just say “fuck it, we ball” and give you the most absolutely incoherent fun time of your life. I love not taking things seriously, and I love creators willing to not take their work seriously. Perhaps Richard O’Brien also had a premonition with Shock Treatment in the sense of how he just had fun with it! Maybe we need less attempts at masterpieces and more attempts at just creation for the joy of it— or both, because joyful creation makes masterpieces!!! I’d love to see more creators of every skill level and every background, known and not known, say fuck you to capitalism and expectation and marketability and just say, we’re gonna do it anyhow, anyhow!!!

[moontheoretist]

Civil War as an Autistic Showdown

I just realized that me relating to Steve when it comes to my past awful behavior and beliefs that he also displays in the movies is a direct result of autistic traits. More specifically, the so-called “strong autistic sense of justice” that isn’t a “sense of justice” per se, but in essence it’s an idea of “what we perceive as justice” or “what we perceive as unfair” which can be on point or can be completely screwed into very bad direction.

I was taking the idea that Steve is autistic under consideration all along, but now, when I noticed several autistic people talking about our sense of justice not meaning we are always right or morally good, gave me the confidence that I wasn’t wrong in my approach to that trait. I used to be a bigoted person. I used to be an abuser who didn’t even know they were abusing people, because abuse was so normal to me due to my family giving me an idea that abuse is care that it was just hard to notice that me trying to police other people out of “care” in order to make them fit better with the society and struggle less was just abuse. I also had an inflated ego and sense of myself. From one side I saw myself as humble and mediocre, but from the other side I saw myself as someone who was very close to being perfect and working for becoming the perfectly good person.

Spoiler: I wasn’t. And I can see the same behavior in Steve. That’s why I’m so critical of him. Because I went through all this bullshit before, and I know that he isn’t right, that he needs to change. The issue is that to snap out of it is not so easy. People just telling you that what you do is bad when you strongly believe that what you do is just, will simply mean that you will dismiss everybody until the time your brain is ready to accept that you were doing wrong all along.

And that can take years without any strong wake-up call like the one Tony got in Iron Man 1. Tony went years doing bad things and either not realizing or not caring that he did bad things, because as far as he knew he was doing something just and fair as it was what his father and Obadiah taught him. That making weapons and selling them is just because it protects the country and its soldiers (Rhodey being a military man himself and his belief that they need Tony’s weapons only reinforced it), and it doesn’t matter what anybody else says.

Tony was lucky to get the wake-up call, even thought what happened to him was horrific, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Still, he needed that wake-up call. He needed to shift the paradigm and realize that he was in the wrong. Steve also needs that, but despite many opportunities in the MCU, Steve never actually got a proper wake-up call. Fall of SHIELD was one of those opportunities, but for reasons established before in the First Avenger, instead of waking him up, it only radicalized him more and convinced him more that what he believes was right and that everything else is wrong. The Civil War arc was another moment like this. After what happened in Leipzig (Rhodey’s injury) and in Siberia, he should have realized that what he believes is not entirely right, but MCU never allows him to. Then another opportunity was Infinity War just after Avengers lost to Thanos and realized how truly hopeless they all were, and once again he doesn’t realize that he was in the wrong, because after Endgame he comes back to his past, which to him is a safe space, where he is always right, nobody except Peggy or Bucky challenges him and even when Peggy does, she is always on his side, while Bucky is no longer there to be a pain in his ass (not to mention that MCU abandoned Bucky’s initial role as pushback to Steve’s idiocy from the first scenes of the First Avenger and made him into another yes man). So yeah, I guess we can see Civil War as a War between two autistic men, from which only one realized that their “sense of justice” was screwed.

That this trait isn’t some magical superpower to spot bullshit.

That it can be as good as it can be bad.

[uefb]

Why do you think there’s a pattern of Theseus being abusive/overly aggressive in Fantastic Beasts fanfic? It’s been driving me up the wall trying to find Newt and Theseus fanfic that doesn’t make them OOC especially Theseus, and idk, in the context of Newt being Autistic I find it disturbing. Like sure, Theseus is hot-headed and loses his temper, he doesn’t always understand Newt, but those traits seem overtly exaggerated in a lot of fandom content.

Obsessed with this ask. I have been thinking about it all day, and am just now getting to write it up! Thinking about it in the background of my statistics class almost singularly got me through its sensory and anxiety hell. /sweat-laugh emoji/ So thank you!

Please remember, all of this is based on my own perspectives, knowledge, and headcanons, as well as canon clues. Nothing here is definitive and is open for respectful conversation! (Not directed specifically at you, salamander, just since this is a public blog I like to cover my bases. ^_^)

Buckle up: major autistic info dump incoming

Alright, so, my initial thoughts are that...

Obviously, there was a decent chunk of Newt fic written between 2016 and 2018 before CoG came out, that first film where we really got to see Theseus as a character, for who he really is (especially since they cut that letter from him to Newt at beginning of FBWTFT, that starts with "little brother," which is just pretty endearing). IMHO, this two-year gap means people had a wide open playing field to build the character themselves. Here's a few thoughts on that:

The framework for the entire Wizarding World, narratively, is the Harry Potter series. Boy wizard, shunned by family, isolated from socialization -- Outcasts have always been the backbone of She-who-must-not-be-named's stories. It's compelling. We love it, we lap it up. With only one FB film out before 2018 and Newt being such a unique protagonist, I think it's likely people fell back on the more typical Harry-Dudley trope to create a compelling backstory for Newt, using that tried-and-true fantasy Cinderella-type trope.

Second, from what I can tell, there was a lot less serious consideration of Newt actually being autistic in the early years of the fandom. (I only "joined" relatively recently myself, despite going to the first 2 movies on opening day, but I'm nothing if not fastidious in consuming every scrap of historical content when I develop a new interest, lol.) I've read pages of threads and plenty of "think pieces" attributing Newt's behavior to trauma-related social anxiety and/or his profession as a magizoologist. I absolutely buy the latter (adjusting body language for one's profession), but not entirely the former. (Personally, Newt doesn't strike me as an inherently anxious person--he strikes me as an inherently autistic one who also sometimes experiences anxiety. Discomfort and anxiety aren't the same thing, but people often conflate them, imho.) Anyway, THAT BEING SAID, I've noticed in quite a few fics that people write Theseus as being part of that implied social trauma, via sibling bullying that rises beyond typical sibling harassment. People perhaps tried to explain Newt's behavior by making him, at the very least, overshadowed by Theseus (and ashamed of it) or, at the very worst, abused and/or neglected by his family.

Also, quite simply: people process their own family trauma via fic. I think it's highly likely Theseus just served a sibling or parental role for some people in stories. (The abundance of abusive!Thranduil fic in the LotR fandom in the early 00s is another example of this.) Nothing wrong with using fic to process feelings and life experiences (god knows I do, it's horrifically obvious and always has been lmao), but this bulletpoint is still one explanation for the pre-CoG "Theseus being a dick in fic" phenomenon.

Plus, fanfic doesn't occur in a vacuum. Even when new canon info comes out, existing fic and whatever the going/contemporary fanon is often impact how new writers write their characters, even post-CoG. (And how those characterizations are received by the larger fandom--that reception may subsequently impact how writers maintain or change their characters in the future, imho.)

As for the current reasons Theseus is often OOC in post-CoG fic...

Well, I have my theories, but I am also not entirely sure. However, I feel pretty confident it has to do, primarily, with points 1 and 4.

Leta Lestrange and the Scamander Brothers - Honestly, I think people likely are pretty offended on Newt's behalf for the Leta/Theseus marriage. In mainstream media, we're kind of trained to think that dating your friend's ex is ultimate betrayal--it's difficult for people to imagine a world in which a person who marries their brother's ex is a good person. (...I was once in a friend group where we had all dated the same girl at some point, but we were all either ridiculously honest or autistic so we just--wait for it--talked about it and moved on.) That being said, I never read Leta & Newt as overtly romantic (then again, I also didn't know Bunty liked Newt until the 4th time I watched CoG), so I don't entirely get this one to the degree that I think some people viscerally feel this. But I expect some people see that and assume it says something much larger about Theseus' character than it does. (I do think it says a lot about Theseus that he loves Leta, but I don't think it says the same things about him that some other people do -- I think it speaks more to his similarities to Newt [compassion and positive outlook] than it does to stealing Newt's Hogwarts sweetheart. But I digress.)

Something Did Happen at Some Point - Now, there is undeniably a distance between the brothers that we, as viewers, don't necessarily know the origin of. (So I think I may have mentioned in my letters that [my brother & I] have quite a complicated relationship. // Does he want to kill you? // Frequently.) Have they always been like that? Is it new? Is it because of the age difference? Because they have different personalities? (Though I will argue until I'm blue in the face that they're actually extraordinarily similar people, at their cores.) Is it because Newt got expelled, or because Theseus scooped up Leta, or because Theseus expresses emotion through touch & Newt jerks away from touch he doesn't initiate himself, or because because because because because? I don't know. But there is something there and, based on the "complicated relationship" comment, it sounds like it is something that likely developed over time. So imho - I think some people see that and just lean in way too hard. Like, pedal to the medal, 0 to 60 too hard.

Theseus is Snarky to Newt on Multiple Occasions - Mostly based around how Newt directs his life, carries himself, etc etc. For example, it would be easy to take that whole scene before and after Newt's travel hearing in CoG and assume Theseus is an overprotective, condescending, and ableist prick. But if we look below the surface (and the stage directions in the screenplay help, too. When he says "maybe a little less... / like me. / well, it can't hurt" the instructions say 'not without fondness', or something like that), it's pretty glaringly obvious he doesn't mean to be that way. Even condescending behaviors usually have causal correlates, even if we can't see them on the surface. (Believe me -- and this is something we both touched on in DMs, salamander, I'm just repeating for the sake of the ask -- well-meaning pep talks and encouragement can still drip with condescension when loved ones think you need guidance because they "love you and know better " and you're just too autistic or too idealistic or too naive or whatever.) Ultimately, whether due to a failure to approach these snarky exchanges with grace and nuance, or because it can make a good fic to put brothers at odds, IDK -- but I expect this particular point plays into some people's decisions to interpret Theseus in a way I view as OOC.

Ease of Narrative ~ Nuance is hard - I mean, this one explains itself. Writing characters in a nuanced manner that allows digging into the messy horrible confusion of relationships--embedded as they are within families and societies and personal & general history--is not easy. It takes not only patience and significant effort as a writer, but it also takes a degree of self-awareness and maturity that we all reach at different points. I'm not there yet myself (there's no real arrival -- life's not a perfect graph), but still: My fic writing is very different now at 32 (with 14 years of 'adulthood' and 12 years of therapy under my belt) than it was when I was writing about adults when I was 15. (And, yes, I still have my first posted HP fic up on MuggleNet and FFnet, so you don't just have to take my word for it lmao.) To be very clear, this isn't me being ageist or whatever: I'm just saying that I often get the sense while reading fic where Theseus is reallllly overly aggressive that the writer is sometimes either very new to creative writing (and good for them! we love new writers! keep writing, lovelies!), or else quite young, and thus still acquiring life experience that is going to improve their work as they age, every single day.**

Sibling Experience - Not having personal or narrative experience with an age gap like Newt and Theseus have. I'm an older sibling by 7.5 years, which is close to Theseus & Newt's age difference. I basically half-raised my younger brother, so I have a real soft spot for that kind of sibling relationship, which comes across in most of my fics (LotR & FB). It's hard to imagine the sort of borderline sibling-parental love, responsibility, and anxiety that can permeate those kind of relationships if you haven't experienced or seen it represented in media yourself. This is just a theory, of course---I have no actual data on this being actually related to his OOCness.

What else? What do you or others think?

Final very random thought

I also think a lot of people forget that autism runs in families. So yes, Theseus doesn't always "get" Newt (god, no, lol) and he doesn't have guidance on what to do when he doesn't, but it is highly unlikely he hasn't seen behavior similar to Newt's before, whether in a parent or cousins, an aunt/uncle or something else. People *also* tend to forget, IMHO, that subclinical traits are often present in direct family members of an autistic person--Theseus' rigid thinking, for example, isn't necessarily "autistic", but he may get Newt better than people think for certain reasons we never have an opportunity to see in the script. (Not that the movies are paying *that* much attention to the actual research or autism presentations lmao, but I'm just saying it is a possibility). Being able to relate to a smaller version of someone's struggles can simultaneously make one both a better support and a worse one in a lot of ways. (And certain autistic traits can even rub up against each other poorly in different people--I have a few acquaintances that rub me the wrong way because our "symptoms" manifest in very different ways and their natural behavior triggers some of my own sensory issues or overdeveloped sense of justice or whatever. Conversely, my ADHD tendency to be 20 minutes late to every hang gives one of my autistic friends a panic attack every time -- I feel terrible, but all we can both do is try to adjust the behavior around our symptoms. And sometimes the same traits--firmly held beliefs, for example--bump into each other explosively, which I have experienced in fandom myself: two autistic people w diametrically opposing views interacting, but because we process information in similar ways even with very different perspectives, no progress can be made before someone shuts down.) BUT I BRING THIS UP BECAUSE, I do think it's possible to headcanon that some of Newt and Theseus' conflict (which does exist) could even be rooted in differing forms of neurodivergence or presentation of subclinical symptoms.

The world is a big place and there's so many possibilities. These are just some of my thoughts on why Theseus is often portrayed in a way I find to be OOC!

Asterisked footnote under cut -

**I'm trying to convey what Sandra Cisneros does much better in her short story "Eleven." That we, all of us, carry our entire lives and what we have seen inside of us at all times, and I think that's what we bring to our writing.

What they don’t understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you’re eleven, you’re also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel eleven at all. You feel like you’re still ten. And you are—underneath the year that makes you eleven. Like some days you might say something stupid, and that’s the part of you that’s still ten. Or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mama’s lap because you’re scared, and that’s the part of you that’s five. And maybe one day when you’re all grown up maybe you will need to cry like if you’re three, and that’s okay. That’s what I tell Mama when she’s sad and needs to cry. Maybe she’s feeling three. Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside a tree trunk or like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one. That’s how being eleven years old is.

[studywgabi]

18th Birthday

I've been thinking that maybe I should just do it. All of it. Cheat on cappucinos, have a torrid affair with herbal tea. Exercise. Even 45-step skincare routines. Journal. "Practice gratitude." (Good God). Even if just to cross it off my list.

But I've never been that kind of person. Health is performative and foreign to me. It's almost frightening. I've always been too busy drowning to bother with trying to swim. I wouldn't even know how to go about being alive in a way that makes sense. But I am moving out soon (but not soon enough), so if there's a time to do it, it's now.

I mock health because I'm envious. I want to be a real person, but it's easier to romanticize pain by calling it being adorably messy or a work-in-progress. It's all I've ever known. I hate who I am.

Makeup isn't fun for me. Skincare isn't fun. Everything showers aren't my idea of a good time, or something I do to relax, or "me time." Trying to transform what has always been horrifically ugly into something passably presentable is work, yet another exhausting task to add to my never-ending to-do list. But besides all the expensive products and pressure, I need to start actually cooking real adult meals. I need to be less pathetic. I need to be kinder. I need to be honest. I need to read more. I need to watch more movies. I need to pet my dog more and spend more time with my parents and write more. I need to learn how to take care of myself.

But at this point, I'm not worth the effort. I just can't justify the work. I'm 18 and all of the stupid things old people tell me won't matter in a few years are my current lived, endured reality. Knowing I'll have different (probably worse) issues that even older people will belittle in a few years doesn't help me right now.

Yes, I care about silly high school milestones. I'm not going to be valedictorian. I failed and dropped several classes. I wasn't student body president. I've spent my whole life here and I'm so terrified I'll die here. I went to a regular public high school in Bumfuck, WA and I'm going to a public, in-state (of course) university (in an even smaller town) with a 98% acceptance rate, to major in something I don't believe in, I'm not interested in, and that will get me 28,000 a year. I'm not exceptional, or interesting, or good in any way. I have no talents; I've spent the past four years rotting in my bedroom with foil over the windows. And I'm not happy. School is my whole life; I don't have anything else going on. My main thrill in life is doing laundry. I'm not going to homecoming. I'm not going to prom. I'm still a virgin. I never drank. I never went to a party. I didn't use my time in high school wisely, nor did I have any fun. Sure, things could get better from now on. But my experiences up until this point are set in stone. I've aged out of so much. I've missed summer@brown. I've missed Washington Week. I've missed the national merit scholarship. I've missed friends. Boyfriends. I have nothing to show for my childhood. I don't know how to move on. I don't know how to get over what I lost. God, I hate how fucking whiny I sound complaining about nothing.

I guess I wish my parents wanted more for me, pushed me harder. I love them, but I can't condone their complete complacency. They're not disappointed in what I've become at all. They're so completely okay with my failure. I love them, but they don't hate me enough and that kills me.

I thought it fitting this post should be so fucking late. My birthday is January 30. I wish it was in August, so I could always be the youngest in my class (disgusting). It's just it all piles on together. Thanksgiving (freshman fifteen), fall quarter finals, Christmas, New Year's (and it's dreaded resolutions), birthday (an old biddy with cataracts and arthritis), and then, the cherry on top, fucking Valentine's Day.

God, I hate this girl. She's so annoying and stupid and pathetic. She talks about herself in the third person. It's because I want to distance myself as much as possible. Be not here and not this.

I want to be a teenage girl, just like everybody else. But I'm more of a middle-aged alcoholic man. I don't think being a mentally stable adult is in the cards for me, but I think it can get better than this. I hope it can.

Mmm. I'm getting notes of dirt and gasoline from this tea. Yummy. Cheers, darlings! Here's to being less shitty.

[discet]

Hi!

💭 What inspires/motivates you and your writing?

📗 Do you want to write something outside of fanfiction? If so, what about?

Have a good day!

Fanfic Writing Ask Meme

Hey musko! Hope your having a good day too.

💭 What inspires/motivates you and your writing?

Honestly it's feedback, comments, fanart, questions, engagement, etc. I love storytelling, but I can tell myself cool stories in my brain for much less effort. So knowing that people are enjoying and looking forward to future chapters are what help me keep my motivation to commit plot to page.

📗 Do you want to write something outside of fanfiction? If so, what about?

Yeah! A deep desire I've always had for a while is to write a story that resonated with folks enough to make fanart and fanfic about. To inspire in others what drove me to become a writer (A feeling that I have experienced with awiw and am grateful to the folks who drew fanart for it.)

I've had various stories I've tinkered with over the years. My first was a zombie novel I wrote a long time ago. It was pretty basic overall, but still one I am fond of.

Then there was a gearpunk setting I had developed whose central conceit was a secondary world with a lot of mixed cultures (Korean/Norse, Greek City States/Byzantine) that I got way too deep in the weeds worldbuilding and had trouble actually producing a story from.

I had a fun magic system/lore for a setting in which every time some wizard achieved immortality, the god of death would rip out bits of the magic system that allowed it, so where once great magic was possible, now people had to make do with what was left. Aesthetically, it was heavily inspired by the Indian ocean trade culture of the pre-colonial era.

Then there was the Onyx Crown, one of my last really serious attempts that had a setting and story that I do still really like. The central premise is a twist on the protagonist being the lost heir of a fallen kingdom, in that they are the heir to a dark lord figure, and she has to try and survive once the place his loyal general stashed and raised her is found out.

Now, in the last few months, I'm just starting to tinker with a setting in which its focused on borrowers (The small folk who live in your walls, borrowing what you wont miss, think Ariety if your familiar with that Ghibli movie.) but the setting is a Dark Souls-Esc fallen magical kingdom where the hubris of mankind has led the folk they used to live alongside to suffer a horrific fate. The story takes place on an old flying city that to the borrowers might as well be a continent. I might reuse Tali, the protagonist of the Onyx Crown, for that story. Not sure though.

[bigboytimes]

Rewiring old beliefs is actually so draining

Like the beliefs I have around wanting to have scars that look actually horrific, like I want scarring WAY worse than what I have now or ever had, and I hate it so much when they flatten and change colour and grow smaller, as if they were never there, as if I never hit beans or styro or fucking anything, as if I never went thru the pain I went thru and did what I did,

Like the fact I kinda deep down want people to see them and be shocked and have this very specific reaction that only exists in my fantasy mind… come to think of it even when my scars were at their worst nobody ever reacted like that

In my fantasy mind being visibly hurt is a good thing because then people might care for you, and all I really want is the experience of being fawned over as if I was seriously injured, or something like that, along those lines

And of course that’s not the reason I usually hurt myself but last time I did it was because I wanted worse scarring I want my scars not to fade away, and I was just trying to like unpack why I would care so much when it’s just skin and who cares, and why would it upset me so badly that I’m HEALING and getting BETTER isn’t that something to rejoice over!?

In reality my parents just got mad at me they didn’t pity me for anything like fucking ever until way later but then it was more about their pain and less about mine, which is what I was referring to last time I discussed this with myself and idk if that was on this blog or in my journal

And in reality the only other times anyone has EVER noticed or brought it up have just been kind of weird and uncomfortable and not really something anywhere near that idea of a “pity party katharsis” that’s all charged up in my fantasyland. Probably because it doesn’t exist. People don’t see scarring and start being like “OH MY GOSH YOU SWEET PRECIOUS LITTLE BABY - IM SO SORRY YOUVE BEEN THRU SO MUCH YOU POOR THING - I PITY YOU SO MUCH - I SYMPATHIZE SO DEEPLY YOU POOR CHILD- HERE LET ME ROCK YOU IN MY ARMS AND TELL YOU HOW PRECIOUS YOU ARE AND LET ME SHOWER YOU WITH LOVE AND AFFECTION AND KIND WORDS - LET ME BE THE FANTASY PARENTAL FIGURE YOU ALWAYS FELT YOU WERE MISSING” like that’s not real that doesn’t happen. Might as well bottle feed me too right?

That’s not how it works. My parents were angry. They were ANGRY. And then they were sad, but not in a way that was… me-focused. They were sad for themselves I guess, I had to comfort THEM. I had to be like, don’t worry you’re not a bad parent. (Don’t worry, you’re not a bad parent, it’s actually me, I’m fucked up, I was born fucked up, I never stood a chance… :,( ) That didn’t feel good. Even the love of my life, was sad in a way that wasn’t… it wasn’t this fantasy reaction that doesn’t exist. It never will be that, I have to let go of the idea that people will show me care and try to “save” me when I appear hurt.

It’s not REAL it’s a FANTASY, like those images I would play in my mind to try to achieve the same feeling, where I was a different person in a different situation, where I could be a boy and I could get hurt or bullied or be abused or otherwise mistreated ( which is kind of disrespectful to people who have actually been thru shit like that) and then happen across a Good Samaritan and be comforted and reassured and told all these nice things and adopted (accepted forever to be loved forever even with my flaws) and HELPED when I was crying and saved and … pity party katharsis. Is there a real term for this type of fantasy?

For the longest time I wanted to be able to cry and have someone show actual genuine concern instead of anger or dismissal.

I think that’s where this fantasy idea comes from. That plus seeing in movies and films, how people come to the aid of someone who is sick or hurt, how people worry, how they fawn over the hurt child, how they want to make them feel better. A longing for an experience I never had, combined with a misunderstanding of that experience, because I never had it, how could I understand it, how could I have a healthy idea of it?

And then I held onto that unhealthy idea that developed because I thought it might help me, I thought I could be brought out of this darkness that I was being kept in,

And I used to think it was my fathers fault but now I don’t think it was really anyone’s fault, it was a combination of factors and “just how things went” and everyone was trying their best but I just needed better.

I needed too much, was the problem. Always seems to be the problem with me :( that was actually the reason I had to try to kms when I was like 14 but I never did even get the pills and by then it was like not even something I wanted to do anymore but I really did feel like a total parasite and sometimes I still feel that burdensome and shameful. And in a way, I AM burdensome. Doesn’t mean I am a parasite or I don’t deserve to live, but I can be a burden, I do need a certain amount of attention and care, like any pet. I’m working on providing things for myself more. But I’ll always be autistic and I’ll always be traumatized and I’ll always be a tranny and I’ll always be this and this and that. I’ll always be complicated even when I become strong and healthy, I’ll always need a bit of extra. I hope my husband doesn’t worry: he provides everything I need already, and he IS all I need, even when I am learning to use self regulation, he is still my everything, he doesn’t have to regulate me or deal with my outbursts to be providing me what I need, which is just his love. I need to stop with the outbursts actually

I needed what they COULD NOT provide me even giving it their 100 percent. At least I know my husband CAN provide that and does it all the time :3 but I would’ve so appreciated it when I was 3,4,5,6,7,8, all the way up until I met him :P

(Wow awesome I tore my genitals in the same place again must have been while jacking off that’s awesome that’s so pleasing and amazing (no it’s not it’s awful!) and on top of that teeth hurt I just had a heart thing acting up like fuck )

[aelfgiure]

I tried to talk them out of going, especially after that last camping trip, the one with the sasquatch encounter that could've gone soooooo wrong. (Pro tip: always carry vegan marshmallows when hiking into the back country!) But no. They had a great itinerary planned out, this was going to be a great time in a national park! They were determined to go, with or without me, so I wished them luck and stayed home.

With my usual friend group out and about, I decided it was time to indulge in popcorn and bad movies. While watching Sharknado and laughing my ass off, I had the blinding flash of the obvious - I should look up their campsites! They'd given me a copy of their reservations, just in case I changed my mind, so I turned on the laptop and logged in.

There are sites out there for the things I do. You won't find them, they're invite only. People have to vouch for you, depending on circumstances you may get background checks. This is serious stuff. Dark web? Pfft. That's for edgelords. No, this stuff... let's just say it's an interface between one universe and a few others, and leave it at that.

Searching up those campsites triggered a cascade of files, ranging from 'well THAT was dumb' to 'holy shit, how many parts were missing?' On a hunch I did an overlay of the moon cycles, and swore to myself. The dumb stuff happened on the new moon. The bad stuff happened during the full moon. The horrific stuff happened when the full moon coincided with a major holiday.

This weekend was a full moon. Also Midsummer.

Now I was scared sick, my stomach churning. Who came up with this trip idea, anyway? I double-checked the chat logs, printing out the whole thread just in case. It was close. As I finished printing, the logs were deleted, including the itinerary and dates. This was a set up, but who?

Ah. Him.

The new boyfriend of one of the regulars, well, about 8 months of dating. I'd never liked him, but then I find most people creepy until I get to know them. He'd seemed harmless enough, and he sure made Lilian happy. Now I did a deep dive into his background based on what I knew about him, and made a couple of calls to, ah, coworkers is the best description for our relationship. It's close enough.

Within half an hour I had a team of six at the campsite, with two more joining me in my home. We were digging through files, trying to find the connection.

"You were the target," the younger one stated flatly. "The rest of them were collateral damage, side dishes for what this prick wanted. Look."

How this kid managed to hack into stuff the way he did, I'll never understand. But he had found links that connected this asshole to the Unlight, the Voidmakers. Nasty, vile individuals, every one of them. They were all about the personal benefits, and nevermind who got hurt so long as they got what they wanted. Money, power, whatever. Anything, so long as they served those that were fed by suffering and needless destruction.

I'd been thwarting them for a couple of centuries, different places and times. Apparently I was good enough at it that someone put out a hit on me, and to add insult to injury, they planned to use me as a sacrificial offering to a local chaos entity, making a Gate that would allow other, hungrier entities into the park to hunt and feed.

"Relocation time. You know the drill." The older man was sympathetic as he sent out the text message for the movers to come for my stuff. "You've got the option to set up a nice pied-a-terre over on the next line, you know. It's secure."

"Fuck."

I liked this place. The people I'd met. But yeah, Relocation. Safer for them, and for me.

"Go ahead. Set it up, make it like Stronghold, but with stable foundations and less bullshit, okay?" I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. "Just let me deal with this little shit before I go, please."

We actually DO have black helicopters, ya know. Well, close enough to it. I was suited up and ready to rock and roll before the Movers showed up, my overnight kit packed because after this, it was going to be AARs and debriefing at The Hub for a couple of days. I planned on taking out my annoyance on this assholes hide.

The team had already traced the ley lines and found the spot where he was going to open the Gate. It was pretty typical of such things. Triangles of wood with ropes, hooks, and pulleys to hang the lesser sacrifices, all spaced out according to the arcane geometry of summoning. Big rocks piled up as an altar with chains and manacles to hold the victim. Pillar candles, brazier, bags of foul herbs, the ritual knife.

"Clean it up enough to make it useless for his purposes," I ordered the team. "I've got a lovely idea."

"Oh, not THAT again," groaned one of my regular partners. "That's just mean, that is. Why not kill the sod and be done with it?"

My glare was enough to chill the air. "Because first of all, he was going to hurt my friends. And because I'm gonna have to do paperwork after this. If I gotta suffer? The one responsible gonna suffer."

My guys put on the robes of the cultists while I modified a few things. We were all snickering; while we usually did our work in the shadows, it was nice to give one of the bastards a good solid kick in the dick every now and then. This was one of those times and I hoped it would be memorable.

We heard them long before we saw them, talking and laughing as they hiked along. The ass was encouraging them, telling them about this great campsite just up ahead, they'd love it. They stepped into the clearing, just as he intoned:

"Now."

My friends screamed and fought, but unlike the pasty ass cultists, my team was tough and trained. And also whispered to them to play along, this was rescue, so it was a hell of a good show. Ass was gloating while they were tied up and gagged.

He pulled Lil's phone out of her thigh pocket. "You miserable creatures are a means to an end. It'll take a while for the real sacrifice to get here, but I'm sure we can keep ourselves entertained while we wait."

He dialed my number. I picked up.

"Hey, Lils! You all having a good time? I -" yep, Ass interrupted me, just like a goddamn cartoon villain.

"If you come to these coordinates, I may let them live," he sneered. He stepped up to Lilian and grabbed a breast, hard, pinching and twisting to make her scream in pain. "Listen carefully."

He rattled off the location, then hung up. His smile was utterly devoid of anything human. "I think I'll start with one of the boys, maybe... Jim?" He picked up the knife and stalked around the circle.

Never pass up a good distraction. My team had my friends cut down in seconds, encouraging them to keep protesting. I walked up behind him, waited for him to raise the knife, and dropped a hand on his shoulder.

"Yo. You rang?"

His scream was incredibly gratifying, and we all laughed at him. He whipped around and I punched him in the throat, hard enough to incapacitate him. He dropped, gargling horribly, and I dragged his sorry ass to the altar, fixing him in place the way he had planned for me.

My friends were unbound, ungagged. Shaken as hell, and poor Lils was bruised up as well as heartbroken. My team was helping them out, treating them for shock, rope burns, (there were a few apologies over that, too) generally helping them recenter and recover.

"Hokay. So. You're probably wondering why I called you all here today -" it was the stupidest thing I could think of, and it worked. Everyone laughed, Lilian hucked a rock at me, good times. I explained what had happened, who I was, who Ass really was, and that I was going away. For good.

"Almost moonrise, sir." I nodded to my teammate.

"So, you won't consciously remember this incident. We're pretty good at that. But if you want to watch what's going to happen to AssFace there, I can promise you'll have good dreams about it." I explained to my friends, the way I'd had to explain my leavetakings so many, many times before. It never got easier.

"Can I stab him?" Lils asked, and I laughed.

"That'll be too easy. Step back a bit, so you can get a good view."

The triangles had been taken down and cut up into neat piles of wood, placed at the cardinal directions, the pillar candles broken and added to the pile. I walked counterclockwise around the circle, scattering salt as I went, cleaning and purifying the place. It felt better all ready, so after I did the seven rounds, I stood in the East, and waited.

The full moon crested the hill, pouring Her light into the clearing. I raised my hands, and started the Dance. Sunwise, deosil around the circle, I lit the fires, called the Quarters, all while Ass tried to throw me off interrupt me. My team joined in the singing, a joyful invocation of the proper forces of this lovely place.

I heard my friends gasp and knew they were seeing the spirits of this place as they ripped off the tarry, unholy bindings that had kept them from protecting this place they loved. They rose up, shining and wonderful and terrible, and laughing, asked if I required payment for the rescue.

"No, how can I ask payment for cleaning up my own damn mess? With your permission, I will break the Gate that this one and his ilk tried to open." Oh, they liked that, they approved heartily. But what of the ass himself? They didn't want him.

My team helped me pry open the gate, just enough, to toss the fucker to his masters. "And stay out, asshole!" I roared after him.

After that it was a routine clean up. Stones back where they belonged, circle erased, the rightful guardians of the place free to defend and keep it as they willed. We set up the camp for my friends while the experts removed memories. It's a painless process, but leaves the person undergoing it loopy for a while. Easy enough to explain, empty beer cans, a bottle of mead or two, the megabong. It looked like one of our usual campsites, except.. I wasn't going to be there to watch the fire burn low. Watch over these fun, funny, GOOD people, as they slept.

By tomorrow morning, I wouldn't even be a memory. They'd go on to live their lives, happy ones I sincerely hoped. They were safe now, so I figured that was as good a win as I could hope for, right?

Before I closed the door of the helicopter I looked back at the camp, at my friends all snug in sleeping bags, waiting to start a new day. I was going to miss them.

"Goodnight kids," I whispered. "Goodbye, friends. Thanks for everything."

Then we left, leaving no traces of the incident behind.

getting horror movie vibes from the trip your friends were planning, you decided to simply stay home.

[mirag2001]

blog assignment #1

MG

January 21, 2024

Blog Assignment #1

I vividly remember when I first watched Get Out. I am one of those people who deliberately not watches the trailers for movies- I quite like the surprise I'm in for when the lights dim in the theater. The only thing I was aware of was that it was directed by Jordan Peele and that it was a horror movie. That's all I needed to know. Being a horror fan myself, I’m familiar with how these types of movies play out. So, you can imagine how shocked and impressed I was with how Get Out made me feel. While the movie was clear that it was in the horror genre with the first scene where Andre got kidnapped, I got a sense of dread the more I watched the movie. 

During Professor Due’s Thursday lecture, she described her theory on the moneypaw method. One of the points she made was that the movie doesn't show explicit violence, especially towards the black characters. And even though the movie itself wasn't violent in a physical sense, other than what the white family does to these black people that come to their home, it was horrific in other ways. While it was quite easy to pick up the microaggressions coming from Rose’s family, the other points, the deeper ones, the movie was trying to make were a little less clear. I really had to sit in my room after watching, to play out the scenes in the movie to try to make sense of everything. I am not black, and I don't claim to know how it feels to be black in America, but I have been the “other” in the room before. I am a Mexican woman who grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood. I know just a little of what it feels like to be the only “other” in the room. Microaggressions like “your English is really good for a Mexican” or others have literally questioned my legal status, even when I was a child and didn't know what that meant. Those microaggressions that Chris experienced in the movie, I have experienced my own in different situations, those that have made me feel uncomfortable and not trusting of the other people in the room.

I think the movie is one of the greatest horror movies made. Not because it was explicitly scary, even though it did have some little jumpscares, but rather it made me feel uneasy and dreadful about what would happen next. It made me feel dread because Peele captured what was happening at the time in America. That white supremacy was coming out of its cave and was paraded around proudly during the Trump era. And it's not just exclusive to the Trump era, but rather things that black people have been experiencing for ages. The racism, the appropriation and coveting of black bodies, and how white people love everything that black people have, their bodies, their strength, their appearance, but they don't love the person. Hence, why Rose’s family was persevering the bodies of these black people but not their minds. 

I also thought the sunken place was an interesting avenue to take. When I first saw the movie, I believed that the sunken place was more a metaphor for the state the black people have felt for a long time. That black people are always going to be placed in a box, in specific categories, stereotypes that were demining and extremely difficult to escape. Or that black people are always going to be seen as inferior in the eyes of white people. However, when I heard Jordan Peele talk about the sunken place and how he thought of mass incarceration and how he thought of the piling of black bodies into the carcel system for the most minor offenses being locked away for a long time, that made a more sense, then what I originally thought. Get Out is one of those movies that is hard to forget about.  It was one of the most original storylines that I have seen in a horror film. I was not scared because there was a demonic possession, zombies, or ghosts. I was scared because this movie was extremely accurate to the racism that black people experience in this country on a day-to-day basis.

[certified-msher]

Here are Michael and Gavin's responses to Kdin's post. Gavin's response is listed in black and Michael's in white. IDs under break.

For those of you who haven't seen it here's the link to the TwitLonger or you can find it on her tumblr:

ID for Gavin's response:

Today, Kdin continued an important conversation that I've referred to vaguely in the past and rather than tweet something vague or just attempt to push forward, today I want to stop and take full responsibility for my past behaviour at Rooster Teeth. Firstly, I don't want anything I say here to be construed as an excuse - there simply aren't any excuses for my past behaviour. In the past I certainly played a role in other people's unhappiness with my shit attempts at humor and I look back on these moments with disgust in myself. I'm absolutely shocked by what i used to think could pass as comedy or "just joking around". I used to think that I could say or do offensive things because those around me knew it was beyond absurd that I would actually speak that way - basically the intent was to shock and the content of my character would excuse it - I couldn't have been more wrong and I fully acknowledge how stupid and hurtful that way of think was. Before Kdin bravely came out and transitioned, I did use that horrifically offensive nickname - it didn't matter that I was under the impression that we were all in on a joke - it was hurtful and wrong. Full stop. I would never use that kind of language in any context today, but again, that doesn't excuse my behaviour and I completely acknowledge that. In the years since, I've tried my absolute best to grow as a human being and would never, ever behave in this manner now - again, I'm beyond ashamed when I think back and I am forever grateful to the amazing individuals like Kdin who have shown me more grace than I was ever deserving of as I've worked to put my hurtful behaviour behind me.

ID for Michael's response:

I'll keep this as short as possible. The simple answer is I grew up in a place and time when calling your friends explicit words or slurs was funny. It was just part of modern culture. Primetime tv shows and movies I watched did it and it was always used as comedy. It was a punchline in The Hangover movie and everyone loved it. The f* word was something I would say to anyone without blinking. It was "normal" and in fact there's just simply never a reason at all to say it. I've long since regretted knowing my words hurt Kdin in such an unintended way. I also need to point out that this was years before Kdin transitioned, not that it's any excuse of makes anything less hurtful but it was certainly not said in the context of any form of hate or violence. A few years ago I reached out to Kdin to tell her how sorry I was and how bad I felt and that I never intended it to inflict the harm that I clearly did. Kdin was kind enough to respond when they didn't have to and have a conversation with me. So that's my comment. I definitely used to have a lot of shittier habits and behaviors and I deeply regret that really hurt someone. It was only ever a place of edgelord comedy and pushing buttons but it's not an excuse. I am sorry. I did grow up. I was stupid and lacked empathy and it's something I try to improve on every day because I'm human.

[sing-you-fools]

i think one of my major Fandom Pet Peeves stems from this too, and that's the "this never happened!!!!!" that we see a lot. and i get it, i get that there are some things that you as the audience want to see, but a lot of the time those moments aren't really things that fit into the narrative.

it kind of brings up this point of tension between "these are not real people and anything that isn't on the page isn't canon" and "obviously there's stuff that needs to happen but can't get mentioned." some stuff has to just be implied or assumed. there's a reason you don't read about it every time a character goes to the bathroom, you know? as a writer, i can't describe every single thing that happens, and if my character who was last described as sitting down is suddenly opening all the windows, i need to trust that my readers will assume he stood up and walked over to them. and generally, yeah, people are pretty good at that.

but then you see stuff like - and i'm trying real hard not to tie this to the Encanto fandom but it's the easiest example - all the "No one ever apologized to Bruno!" comments. when he's not the main character, and while that wouldn’t have horrifically out of place in the movie, it also wasn't part of the narrative because it was Mirabel's story, despite what tumblr wants you to think.

and a lot of times it's stuff like, we never see them just having a nice time! and while i understand and also want to see the characters having a nice time, that doesn't make for a good story! again, there's a fine line - if there's a romantic relationship i'm supposed to be invested in i do actually want to see some evidence that these characters get along (this is a direct Buffy/Angel callout) - but i challenged myself to write a couple having a nice date once (the whoooole thing) and it was like 100 pages of just. chatting. and nothing happened. was it cute? maybe! would some people love to read it? maybe! did i have fun writing it? yeah! is it ever gonna be in a mainstream publication? no! i love slice of life but mainstream media does not!

so i'm begging people to remember that this is a narrative we construct and we can't include every moment. we can't even include every moment we'd like to include. as fans, we have to take cues from other parts of the story and extrapolate. fill in the gaps. i'm sure Bruno got a meaningful apology; it would go against the movie's theme for him not to. i'm much, much less sure Buffy and Angel got along.

and hey, if you like the way you've filled the gaps, go write fanfic about it. that's what it's for. but understand that it's not problematic for a story to have gaps in the first place or i will be forced to show you the meaning of TMI.

genuinely think that most bad takes on fiction online stem from the fact that people don't engage with fiction as a constructed art form and instead view it as somehow generated from the ether

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hello! A request for Sad from Boozoo's ghost with a female reader. Reader is a murder clown (a gorgeous one 😤) and gets a visit from Sad but when mortality kills her, she becomes a demon and she's just that short, funny but obnoxious person that follows him around everywhere. Like an apprentice :D!!

"Why..Why do you cause all of this terror? Do you not realize the consequences of your actions?" Blue tears rolled down the ghost clown's face as he stared down at you.

"Me? Consequences?? Pffft, I stopped caring looooong ago, Saddie." You grinned twirling the knife in your hand, stopping only to glance up at Sad.

Somehow this guy just winded up in your home, claiming that he knew every awful deed you've done. But you've never seen him before in your life, so you called his bluff.

"But long ago..y-you weren't like this. Please let me show you-"

"No thanks. I've seen my past. It's ugly and I'm happy with myself now." Shooing him away, you turned around to leave, trying to ignore the sobs that were increasingly growing in volume. They were eerily uncomfortable to listen to, but you tried not to show it.

"Y-You know..I thought you were a beautiful clown when I first watched you..p-perform in the circus. Making children smile and laugh."

You stopped in your tracks as a thought bubble-shaped cloud appeared in front of you, showing a small screen that played a movie. It was one of your performances back at the local circus. The film entranced you, and for a moment it made you reflect on how much you've changed..for the worse.

"But then they all grew up and stopped coming. Now that people found ways to entertain themselves, they didn't need you to do it for them. And that made you...angry."

As Sad spoke, the crowds turned to black and white, with you alone as the only one in bright colors. And your smile gradually turned into a frown...then a deep scowl...

Before your whole face was distorted to inhumane proportions, but only for a split second before the cloud vanished.

"You see, you were beautiful then. You've always been beautiful on the outside...but inside you've become such a hideous person. You can't bring back those you killed but..y-you can still turn your life around. It's not too late, [y/n]."

"[Y/n]? Who's that?" You scoffed yet again, shaking your head as you adjusted your clown hat. No way would you let some sentimental crap sway your decision. "She died with the circus. There was never any [y/n], only-"

"You're lying."

"...I'm not Lying, I'm-" But as you turned around to sneer at Sad, you were startled when he grew taller, his torso stretching out of the box as long spindly arms appeared on both sides of him. Looking up, you saw that his face was practically melting, a deep frown settled on his lips as he loomed over you.

"Sheesh, sheesh..calm down, Saddie. 'twas just a joke!"

"You won't be joking when you're six feet under. Make the right choice before it's too late."

"Oooooh, shiver me timbers." You rolled your eyes. "Listen I appreciate the compliments, but you ain't gonna change my mind. The name [y/n] is just as dead as all my victims..those traitors...so just leave me alone."

Sad seemed shocked that you weren't fazed by his transformation. Though seeing that he couldn't convince you to change for the better made him shrink in defeat--quite literally, for that matter. He gave you one last pout before disappearing into his box, the lid slamming shut.

"Well that was quite an act he put on." With a giggle, you knocked on the lid playfully. "Thanks for the show, Saddie. No hard feelings~!"

No response. Of course.

You made a small "hmph" noise before turning on your heel and leaving, trying to find a way out of this darkness.

A few steps later, though, you heard other voices.

"Impressive. Shall I show 'er how her actions affect the present?"

"No need..she seems well aware. That may not scare her but perhaps the future will.."

"Scare me? C'mon. Don't make me laugh again." Stopping once more, you took out your knife and tossed it playfully in the air. Just to intimidate whoever dared to insult you-

Only for it to explode into Christmas ribbons.

"H-Huh?! That was my favorite knife..."

"That's not the only thing I'd be worried about, my dear."

You were still pouting as you turned to the source of the masculine voice, finding a tall lanky rabbit approach you. His body was stitched together like a doll with matted fur and wrapping paper.

"You one of Saddie's friends?" You sneered, hands on your hips. "What're you, an elf's half-assed project?"

"I am Mortality." He stated, forming a grin that showed off his yellowing teeth. "You have no fear in taking the lives of others before their time comes...but what about you?"

"..what do you mean, Morty?"

Like before, in the blink of an eye, Mortality's form shifted into something horrific: his body melting and his eyes stretched out, glowing brighter as he looked down at you.

"What if I told you that YOUR time is already up? The way I see it...YOU HAVE NO FUTURE."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"You ain't still taking my insults to heart, are ya?"

"..n-no."

"You're lying, Saddie...you reek of hypocrisy."

"A-Are you saying I smell, now??"

"Awh c'mon. Ya gotta learn to take a joke sometime. Clowns are good at those." You patted Sad's back in pity as he cried, handing him a colorful handkerchief.

In short, after a rather violent and gruesome death thanks to Mortality, you were basically a demonic clown now, condemned to hell or whatever. Though you already knew you were going there anyway.

But because of that, he saw that you didn't care at all. So he gave up on scaring you and allowed you to visit him, Sad, and Jolly anytime you wanted. You hung out with the one you first met mostly, tagging along in whatever he did and even learning to sing.

As for your role in the trio..you're the one who threatens mortals to be kinder and less selfish--lest they turn out like you--if they chose to ignore or mock Sad. And you were successful in getting the message across even without transforming into some melted abomination and distorting their reality.

Sad remained conflicted about his feelings for you. He felt honored to have an "apprentice." but on the other hand...he was the most sensitive clown paired with the most insensitive clown.

At the same time, your talks of the circus, your acts, and your beauty..all made him grow quite bashful in your presence.

You may have not changed at all, even in death.

But now he didn't mind it.

[ibringyouasong89]

Story Time! (Bear with me, it’s a long post; sorry)

My most favorite movie of all time. I was four years old when I first saw it - sitting on my father’s lap, trying to recite our home address (in case I got lost, lol), when I turned and looked at the TV screen...and there he was; Captain Quint, getting eaten alive by the shark, while I sat there watching with horrific awe, crying and stuttering through said home address, doubtlessly traumatized beyond repair.  I had nightmares. Vivid nightmares. My mother had to buy rails for the bed because I kept falling out of it due to said nightmares. I used to take every single stuffed animal I had in my room and make an outline around my body with them, in hopes of protecting myself from the imagined shark fin that was, beyond a reasonable doubt, poking up between my floorboards in the middle of the night and swimming around my bed...even whilst I held my orca plushie (which my father bought for me due to my love for Free Willy). I wouldn’t go near the deep end of the in-ground pool of my childhood home, which had a tree from the neighbor’s yard overshadowing it. I was convinced that there was a man-eating great white shark living within those shady waters, and it was best just to stir clear of it altogether. When I was nine years old, I saw it again on TV, and because dad had control of the remote, there was no way I was going to be able to negotiate for a channel change. Again, I became heavily traumatized (because now I could actually comprehend what was going on throughout the entirety of the movie), but there was also something so...intriguing to me, at nine years old. So, the next day (it was a Jaws movie marathon that week; summertime, y’know), I sat myself down and watched it with my father - who was obviously noticing my willing and voluntary subjection to the horrors that this film invoked in me - who said not a word but held me on his lap all the same. I watched the movie every day, that whole week, still shaken, but no longer afraid. Now...now I was stirred. During the next two years of watching the movie, the dreams stopped, the rails were tossed out with the garbage, and my stuffed animals no longer had to be queen’s guards. Though I still snuggled with ‘Willy,’ ‘cause he was the best. And here I am, now in the present in my early-to-mid 30′s, Willy-less (thanks for throwing out my prized orca plushie, mom - more traumatizing than the movie now), and I can quote this entire film, from start to finish, verbatim. Including the songs. Wanna know why it’s my favorite? And no, it’s not just the obvious action/adventure of it all, nor the chowing down of the innocent swimmers, or the madness and obvious Ahab-like qualities of Quint...the camaraderie between Brody and Hooper, while Hooper and Quint fought like ally-cats on a boat. It’s not even the whole small-town-cop vs man-eating-predator thing...or the obvious family moments Steven Spielberg threw into the movie as a way to relive his own childhood...while all of those are wonderful elements (along with the bts stuff that came out and all the technical coolness, and humor, of a mechanical shark in the water), that’s not the main reason. The main reason is that I found myself relating to Chief Martin Brody over a simple notion: overcoming your fears. During the course of the movie, it’s revealed by Ellen Brody, his wife, that the Chief of Police of Amity Island has had a fear of drowning since he was a boy. His response in the following scene with Hooper, while drunk on Hooper’s private boat (”It’s only an island if you look at it from the water.”), is obviously meant to be a sort of humorous deflection about a serious phobia that he does not deal well with or tries to ignore. He sits in his car when they take the ferry to the mainland, for Christ's sake. So, what happens to change that? Naturally, he’s forced to confront his fear to save the town he’s charged with protecting, and in so doing, comes face-to-face with the monster that is trying to eat him and everybody else. Instead of allowing that fear to cripple him in the end, he overcomes it by allowing his natural inclination for survival, and his powerful will to live and need to protect the innocents, to overshadow it. To drown out that voice of fear so that he can do what he’s obviously meant to do. He’s able to kill the shark that not even the shark-studying-expert, or the shark-killing-captain, can overcome...and in a twist, it’s revealed that Quint’s need to hunt down and kill sharks is born out of a need to not only gain vengeance against the sharks that killed his fellow friends and officers when the USS Indianapolis went down, but also out of the traumatizing fear that he would be forced to face death and be killed by one of them as well (which, ironically, he was in the end - which sort of served as a symbol for both retribution for the innocent sharks and nature’s revenge against him, I suppose). Hooper’s need to study sharks, and perhaps try to preserve them, is also born out of fear that gives way to deep obsession and fascination from when he was a boy. He watched a shark turn his boat into a sinking vessel after he reeled one in while fishing and had to swim to shore. Still, he finds himself also outmatched by this mindless “eating machine” that he so deeply reveres and is forced to hide in a patch of seaweed forest on the ocean floor. So, if the two most expert-like people in the world, one who kills and one who studies sharks, can’t kill the murderous beast, why Brody? Is it because he was destined to be the hero all along? Maybe...but he was an anti-hero, through and through. He got pulled into this because it was his job and because he supported Quint’s proposal to the town to kill the shark. Did he want to go out, onto a somewhat-dilapidated boat, to go “fishing” for the man-eating shark, in the middle of the ocean? Of course not! Nor would I expect him to spend willing time with two crazy people who went to sea whenever they got the chance to either kill or study these animals in their natural environments. But in being forced to play the hero, he is able to overcome his fear...cause what’s the last scene in the movie? Him and Hooper (who survives in the film only; not the book - spoiler alert for those of you who did not read it!), grab a couple of those yellow barrels, lash ‘em together, and swim a couple of miles back to shore. Is Brody screaming, or showing any signs of fear, at being in the water? Nope. The shark doesn’t just represent a mindless, man-eating creature that swims the oceans...the shark also represents the subconscious, and even conscious, fears that lurk deep within our minds. Brody, in killing the shark, kills his fear, and is able to find both resolution to the obvious conflict and peace for his inner child.On some subconscious level, I must’ve recognized that, and that’s why I forced myself to sit down and watch this movie for that one week at nine years old. I, too, wanted to flee the room and avoid the thing that was causing me such terrible nightmares and anxiety...but I also knew I would be missing out on an opportunity to learn something. And I did, but about myself. I’ve kept that lesson in mind all of these years - in order to get over a fear, one must push through it - and though it has not always worked out, whether it’s because of stress or an inability to handle an entire situation - it has helped me in a lot of ways, both big and small. And while I revere this movie and adore it endlessly, that main theme is something that continues to stick out to me and is what makes it a one-of-a kind movie.

JAWS (1975)

[lyricdissonance]

I have thoughts about barbarian (2022) [they are not positive thoughts] [heavy spoilers follow, also content warning for discussion of SA and ableism]

I... don't really know what to do with the fact that this movie was as well received as it was? you tell me there's a highly reviewed original plot-twisty horror movie out and I'm often first in line so when I heard of this one I made sure to check it out, following everyone's advice to know as little as possible about the story before going in. and after doing so, well all I can say is I’m glad sexual assault isn’t a trigger for me. the movie at least has the good sense to never show it happening but what gets implied is pretty horrific. and trying to make this a timely social issue movie by making a main character an actor who got me-too’d? I get it, the real horror is what we can do to our fellow humans but you do not pull this off as well as you think you do, movie. and the hint at a redemption arc where said actor has this whole “I may be a bad person but I can become a better one” moment after realizing “hey at least I’m not as bad as the man in the basement who kidnaps and impregnates women”? it was a relief when he almost immediately threw away his chance at character development but I was honestly scared the movie would go through with it when it had by no means earned that particular narrative.

and then at the end of all that, the "monster" living in the basement turns out to not be one at all, but a woman who's the product of generations of incest that have left her disfigured and barely able to communicate. there are elements of her being a sympathetic character in there, but it really struck me as using disability as horror in a very uncomfortable way. “oooooh she’s scary bc her birth defects make her look and act inhuman and violent” fuck outta here. and after making us feel for her you have the gall to put a song over the end credits that mocks her character motivations. you did NOT earn that little joke, movie. plus how exactly does inbreeding make someone strong enough to rip an arm off with their bare hands? trying to ground her backstory in realism just makes it less believable imo.

maybe this is all my fault for reading foreshadowing where there wasn't any. when it was mentioned that there was a medical convention in town and I saw the bed in the white room and the cages in the halls I thought the twist would be a conspiracy of medical experimentation they'd stumbled in on. it was definitely a letdown to find out the twist was actually So Much Rape.

besides all that, I really kinda just found myself underwhelmed. there were some nice gore moments but nothing that will haunt my dreams, I didn't feel any real emotional payoff at the end, most of the characters had a little too much Stupid Protagonist Syndrome for my liking even if the "such an obnoxious asshole that he's completely oblivious to the fact that he's dooming himself" behavior of the movie guy was honestly one of the most entertaining parts of the whole thing.

if you’re reading this and you loved the movie and think I’m getting this all wrong, I apologize. I’m genuinely not here to say this is a Problematic movie or even a bad one, and frankly the fact that everyone else adored this movie makes me worry that I’m the one tumblr freak getting offended over nothing so if someone can tell me why I’m actually wrong I’d be grateful. I’m just... so tired. between this and men (2022) how many more horror movies are we going to get written and directed by cis men who know Exactly How Scary It Is To Be A Woman We Swear Please Give Us Money