#trying to keep a brave face for the sake of ma because he feels like that's all he really *can* do

[sorenlionheart]

i am dangerously close to making my own interpretation of superman

[the-last-kenobi]

If you’re still taking requests (feel no pressure to do this) 14 with Obi-wan and a knight Anakin because that sounds very much like him

A fluff prompt!! I’m so excited, thank you! 🤍

From this various prompts list.

Requests are currently closed.

_

Obi-Wan Kenobi had not slept in three nights, and his Lineage was not happy about it.

Ahsoka and Anakin watched with narrowed eyes from a balcony as the Jedi Master mingled with the crowd, smiling softly at anyone who engaged his attention, keeping close to the side of Chancellor Palpatine and Vice Chair Mas Amedda.

For a man who was running on very little sleep and hardly any sustenance, Obi-Wan was managing to maintain the image of the perfect Jedi — civil, humble, charming, wise. Power concealed just below the surface.

Every so often, Palpatine would draw the Jedi deeper into some conversation or other, or pat him on the shoulder in a strangely paternal fashion.

“Why does he keep doing that?” Ahsoka hissed to her Master. “Master Kenobi hates strangers touching him!”

“The Chancellor isn’t a stranger,” Anakin said defensively. But he watched again as Palpatine settled a hand on his former Master’s arm and saw the slight tension creasing Obi-Wan’s forehead, and had to concede that Obi-Wan was feeling uncomfortable. “But yeah. I don’t think the Chancellor knows, he wouldn’t do it if he did. He’s probably just too used to working with me instead. We’re more like friends.”

Ahsoka raised her eyebrows. “And would he have let you go home by now? We were supposed to be able to leave almost two hours ago.”

Anakin sighed. He leaned on the railing, absentmindedly picking at a carved design in the metal with his mech hand, creating a small clicking noise. He scanned the room again, searching for unlikely threats, and then returned his gaze to his Master and his friend, still penned in the center of a colorful crowd all waiting for attention. To see and be seen. Vultures.

Obi-Wan had more patience for this sort of thing, it was true, but it was apparent to those who knew him well — to Anakin — that he was run ragged. That every new face turning in his direction, awed and pettily delighted by meeting both the Supreme Chancellor and a High Jedi General, was another weight on his shoulders.

Anakin glanced over at his Padawan. Ahsoka’s eyes lit up as she saw the look in his eyes.

“How do you wanna do this?” she asked, tapping her fingers excitedly on the banister. “I know you like explosions, but if you set something off, Master Obi-Wan will definitely have to flee with the Chancellor to safety and then he’ll be gone for ages.”

“You’re right, Snips,” Anakin said, and a smirk pulled at his lips. He ruffled his hair proudly, ignoring Ahsoka’s eye roll, and said, “So I’ll take a leaf from Obi-Wan’s book. I’ll just go right down there and use my words.”

Anakin beamed.

Ahsoka looked as if she suddenly preferred an explosion.

-

“Yes, hi, hello, excuse me, coming through, yep, pardon me, just walking here,” Anakin threw scattered, inane apologies in every direction as he plowed a path right through the entire gala.

Ahsoka trailed in his wake, smiling awkwardly at the people who scattered with startled looks and scowling ferociously at those who dared look cross.

Obi-Wan spotted them first. He was deep in conversation with a representative from the Core, but his blue eyes flickered to them briefly and his smile became slightly taut; he raised one of his hands in what might have passed for a wave but was, to his Padawans, a clear signal to turn around.

Anakin disregarded this subtle warning immediately.

He strolled directly up to Obi-Wan, bowed slightly, and put a hand on the Master’s shoulder, smiling blindingly at the representative. “Good evening. I’m afraid it’s time for Master Kenobi to depart. The Jedi thank you for your time.”

The representative raised her eyebrows but said nothing.

Palpatine, on the other hand, suddenly popped up right beside them, a wide smile on his grandfatherly face. “Anakin, Knight Skywalker, how good to see you! I thought you’d gone home hours ago, why, surely you need your rest after that last campaign.”

Anakin kept a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Ahsoka shifted to stand behind them, smiling a little too widely, the points of her teeth glinting, at anyone who looked at them askance.

“We had quite the victory,” Anakin agreed. He preened slightly. But — “And you’re right, Chancellor, we do need our rest. General Kenobi has served very well, and we’re all eager to rest and prepare for our next deployment.”

Palpatine’s smile widened still further. “Ah, yes. General Kenobi is an incredible public servant, he’s such a delight to have at events such as these.”

This time it was Anakin who tensed slightly. Ahsoka sidled up surreptitiously and linked her arm with Master Obi-Wan’s, flanking him between them, drawn up as tall as she could make herself.

Anakin looked intently at Palpatine, trying to communicate to his friend that now was not the time for politics. He’d thought this would be easy, but the Chancellor seemed determined to keep Kenobi with him all evening. The crowd had begun to disperse, realizing they weren’t going to be receiving any attention for awhile, but they milled about nearby, clearly listening in.

“I—” Obi-Wan began, but Anakin decided to risk his Master’s wrath and just cut him right off.

“And he and I are always happy to be invited by such gracious hosts!” he blurted out quickly. “But sadly, we will have to wait for another invitation before we get the chance to enjoy one another’s company. We really do have to be going.”

Palpatine studied him for a moment.

Go on, Anakin urged him silently. Please. Come on. You know we want to leave.

The silence dragged.

“Master Kenobi,” Palpatine said warmly, turning to Obi-Wan, and Anakin felt a wave of relief. “What do you say? Shall we… let you out of your duties for the sake of your valiant friends?”

Oh, what the fuck?

It had the ring of a joke but was worded like a trap. And Anakin could see, in slow-motion, the flicker of resignation and bitterness deep in Obi-Wan’s blue eyes, just behind the friendly smile, and knew what was about to happen if he didn’t do something about it.

Anakin let out a loud laugh and clapped Obi-Wan on the shoulder again. “Sorry, everyone. We’re on a time crunch, we have to get back in time for dessert.”

Ahsoka laughed, too, and clung a little tighter to Obi-Wan’s arm.

Obi-Wan looked somewhere between confused and horror struck.

Palpatine’s smile froze.

Anakin chuckled and waved at the surrounding crowd, shrugging in a you-know-how-it-is sort of way. “Hey, he promised us milkshakes. General I may be, but I still demand my old Master fulfill his promises of unhealthy desserts.”

“Hey, I think out of everyone, I deserve milkshakes the most!” Ahsoka interjected, her tone teasing.

A few of the politicians shot her amused smiles. Ordinarily she would have bristled, but in this instance she just shot them knowing, conspiratorial looks, like a child deliberately making mischief. There was a ripple of laughter.

“I don’t know about that,” Anakin said. “I think I definitely took out the most droids.”

“Riiiight,” said Ashoka. “After I took out the battlement. By myself.”

They ribbed back and forth. The gala was eating it up, their faces amused and indulgent, intrigued by the display of youthful frivolity and friendship the Jedi were giving them. Obi-Wan was still pinned between them, rooted helplessly to the spot.

Anakin looked back at the Chancellor, expecting a smile.

Instead he got a blank expression — which quickly turned into a loud bark of laughter and a grandfatherly grin. He clapped his hands to gain the attention of the crowd and said, “Oh, I believe our brave Hero and his friends have earned themselves a night out for something as innocent and delightful as milkshakes, don’t you say?”

The crowd laughed and nodded; there was scattered applause, and it was done.

Anakin winked at the Chancellor and then turned on the spot, he and Ahsoka striding out the room with Obi-Wan trapped in the middle, waving and bowing at anyone who smiled in their direction.

The three of them escaped out of the ballroom, down the flight of stairs, and out onto the grand balcony overlooking the landing platform, where their ship was waiting in the semi-darkness of the Coruscant night.

Anakin and Ahsoka turned at the same time to look at Obi-Wan, each of them still holding on to one of the Master’s arms.

There was a long silence.

Obi-Wan stared tiredly down at the speeder for a very long time.

Anakin looked at his Padawan nervously.

But then Obi-Wan’s lips twitched beneath his beard, and then he chuckled, and then he burst into uproarious laughter. The sound was infectious; relieved and excited, the other two clung to him and laughed, all of them half-leaning on the railing, cackling like idiots.

They laughed until they ran out of breath, and then laughed a little more.

After a long while, Obi-Wan disentangled his arms from their controlling grips but immediately settled them back, one on Anakin’s shoulder and the other resting on Ahsoka’s back. “I think,” he said, “I promised you milkshakes. Dex’s?”

“Oh, I definitely remember you saying that!” Ahsoka said. “Dex’s is great.”

“Yeah, and you also definitely said you’d pay,” Anakin wheedled.

“No,” Obi-Wan said firmly.

“Awww. Worth a shot,” Anakin whispered to his Padawan.

Obi-Wan smiled. “I said I’d pay for Ahsoka’s. You, my Knighted former Padawan, can pay for your own dessert.”

Ahsoka cheered. Anakin groaned. They strolled off into the night, ambling without haste or urgency or fear, connected by light touches of the hands and arms, and by something deeper and unseen and familial.

There would be time for the war and politics later.

Right now, they were late for dessert.

fin

[hikarimiyanaga]

Loving You (Part 4)

Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3

I want to celebrate since I just finished another exam... there are more to come but Wanda comes first so here's an update.

Warning : Omegaverse. Beta!Reader x Omega!Wanda Maximoff. Curse Words. Mentions of Bullying. S*x Talk.

Also, just tell me if I need to add more warnings so I can edit as quickly as I can.

Taglist : @mitchiesdungeon / @upsidedowndanvers

You wake up with a startle and pant. You flinch at the sound of your loud alarm and see that it was right next to your pillow.

“Jesus, what the fuck?” You took your phone and open it. You see the messages between you and Wanda. You grin and charge it before getting ready for school. Both of your parents note your chippy behavior as oppose to your usual calm.

“Morning, Ma, Mom!” You greet and grin as you get your breakfast. You eat quickly and get your bag with your phone on it. You put on your jacket and smile as you wave them goodbye.

-

You yawn as you trudge the halls, now on a mission. You see Wanda and notice that even though there is no scent coming from her, she’s not wearing a jacket. You take off yours and smile as you approach her.

“Y/N!” She smiles and you offer up your jacket.

“Want to-“ She takes it before you could finish and puts it on. “put it on?” She sniffs it and nods.

“I really like your scent.” You blush and your heart beat faster at her words. She smiles and takes your hand. “Thanks for the jacket.” You gulp and nod as she drags you to your own locker. You get your books from your locker when someone closes it with force. You manage to keep it open but glare at the owner of the hand. Janine. You get Wanda behind you.

“Y/LN.” She says and you roll your eyes. You get the last book from your locker and lock it.

“What the fuck do you want? Rumlow’s scent isn’t enough? Fucking him isn’t doing it anymore?” Janine glares and pushes you but you stay firm. Determined in not letting her get closer to Wanda.

“Shut the fuck up, Y/LN. You fucking Beta.” Wanda glares at Janine as Angel and Pietro go to her. They stop Wanda before she does something to Janine. You roll your eyes and sigh.

“Just say it and get it over with.”

“My friend, Nina is on your AP Class.” You raise an eyebrow as the said girl is dragged by Janine to you.

“So? The fuck that-“

“She needs to copy your homework. We were busy with practice and she hasn’t done it.” You look at Nina.

“What homework? Which class?”

“Um… Latin? The research one?” You scoff and shake your head.

“The one where I spent days on? The one where I had to hole myself up in the library? No fucking way. I can help with references but that’s it.”

“Oh? Really? That will be-“ Janine pushes Nina out of the way and grabs your collar. You make a face as you can practically smell her heat. Jesus, what the fuck? Compared to Wanda’s cinnamon and citrus scent. Janine’s overwhelming heat scent disgusts you. You gag and turn away.

“What the fuck, Rivera?” You open your locker and snatches a bottle from the box and hold it out to her. “At least do something about your scent! It’s making me want to vomit!” Janine growls and tries to grab you again but you dodge her. She faceplants into the ground and everyone gasps. You give the bottle to her friend and you get a piece of paper from your notebook. You write the references and give it to Nina as Janine groans and some of her goons help her stand. You sigh as she glares at you.

“T-thanks.” Nina manages to get out before running away. Janine growls and you roll your eyes.

“Want to get raped on the street? Used by asshole Alphas that have nothing better to do than prey on Omegas like you? Omegas who like to flaunt that they’re in heat and therefore can’t stop their primal instincts?” She stops and you get the bottle from her friend. You hold it out and she stares at it. “If no, then take this and spray it on yourself. I swear to god, your scent is overwhelming.”

“Rumlow wi-“

“You sure?” You cross your arms and sigh. You take her hand and put the bottle on it. “Spray it if you’re not. Trust me.” You turn and hold Wanda’s hand and you both leave as everyone just stares at you. You yawn again as you get to your first class.

-

Lunch comes and Wanda was waiting for you by the courtyard. You try to greet her but she glares at you.

“Why did you help her?” You raise an eyebrow… is she jealous? And who? You tilt your head and she scoffs.

“Who?”

“Janine.” Ah. Your bully. The one who tried to ruin your life on several occasions but never succeeded.

“Ah.” You shrug. “I meant what I said. Omegas should get help when they’re in need.”

“She-“ You hug her and smile as her scent and yours combine and hit your nose. You like this combination. You rub her back in comfort and she clings to you. You hum and carry her to the bench. You kiss her forehead and sit besides her. You take her hand and kiss it.

“Wanda. I won’t ever stop even if a person did bad things to me. Omegas deserve to be treasured. It’s unfair that they’re the only ones who get heat. That you suffer for it. So even if Janine did bully me doesn’t mean I won’t help her.” She sighs and hugs you. You rub her back.

“Why are you so nice?” You chuckle.

“I’m not nice… just.” You pull away and you get the lunch you brought for the both of you. “Let’s eat?” She knows you’re avoiding the question but shrugs it off. You’ll tell her when the time comes.

-

You’re in your final class and just like yesterday, Angel sat besides you.

“And so the project for our midterms will be in pairs.” You can hear several groans but you and Angel stay quiet. “Y/LN and Garcia.” You both turn to the professor. “You can both do it so-“

“No.” You both reject the idea and shake your heads. The professor sighs but relents.

“Okay. Dismissed.” You gather your things and Angel waits up. You stand and look at her as she holds her hand out.

“Partners?” You and Angel are the top students of this class, no doubt, so it seemed cheating to the others if your partnered up… But she’s the only one willing to pair up with you so accept it. Everyone else is either an Alpha or Omega and you’re the only Beta in this class… in Any AP class, for that matter. You take her hand and shake it.

“Deal.”

“Baby.” Natasha calls out and you both turn to her. You both go outside. Angel hugs Natasha as you get your phone out.

“Put in your number so we-“ Before you could finish, Natasha has already pushed Angel behind her and is growling at you. You raise an eyebrow and Angel can’t decide if your stupid or brave… or both… tired can be there too. It’s a known fact throughout the school that you don’t mess with any of the Avengers because of their families and each other.

“BACK OFF.” Natasha’s voice can be heard by everyone and they all stop and stare as you sigh. This is one of the things that you hate. Having attention when it’s not at all needed. You try to look at Angel but Natasha pushes her away from your line of sight.

“Romanoff, this is for our big project.” You try to reason, she still is an Alpha and you would probably break several… many bones if she did attack you. Your eye twitch as she doesn’t move. “The one where at least a quarter of our grade rides on?” She’s still growling and you groan. You couldn’t stop yourself as you cursed. “FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” No one has ever heard you shout before. Not the angry one, at least. Not even your siblings or parents did. You avoided being angry because you knew it would make the worst of yourself to come. They all flinch and Natasha gulps. Angel holds Natasha’s hand and gets to her side. “I’m not stealing Angel! She’s all yours!” You run a hand through your hair. You turn away and take deep breaths to calm yourself down. Angel pulls Natasha away and approaches you.

“Y/N.” You turn to Angel with a glare but she doesn’t get fazed and she holds out her hand. “Your phone.” You give it to her and she quickly saves her number. “Text me.” You nod and she leaves with Natasha. You sigh as you leave for the library. Everyone else disperses but with more murmurs.

Wanda spots you as you enter the library. Thankfully, with no Angel around but you seem tense. You sigh as you sit beside her.

“Are you-“ She didn’t even get to finish before you cling to her arm. You breathe in her scent and you already feel calmer. You smile as you let her presence wash over you.

“Sorry. Need to calm down.” Wanda nods and you relax as you breathe her in. After a few more minutes you pull away and sigh.

“What happened?” You groan as you put your arms on the table and lean on it.

“Natasha got jealous because I was getting Angel’s number.” Wanda tenses and you flick her forehead. “Because of a project. Don’t get jealous too.”

“Oh. What did you do?”

“Got angry and yelled.” She raises an eyebrow and closes her book.

“And?” She’s curious now.

“It’s not something I usually do.” You answer simply and look away. It was something you didn’t like talking about and Wanda picked up on it.

“Ah. Are you okay now?” You nod and smile at her.

“Thank you, Wanda.” She smiles and kisses your hand.

“You’re welcome.”

-

You hum as you get inside your house. You would stay up all night reading but you remember you made plans for tomorrow.

“You seem in a good mood.” You turn and see… both Valerie and Alsie eating with your parents. The hell are they doing here? On a Friday, no less? The hell is going on?

“Al? What?”

“Came to visit, sis. Hey.” Alsie waves at you and you nod.

“And Val?”

“Came back too. I kinda forgot something.” You sigh as you realize.

“You know.” They all flinch and look away from you. You run a hand through your hair. “How?” They all look at Valerie who groans.

“I was going to pick you up so we can follow Ma and Mom on the fancy restaurant when that girl asked… no demanded.”

“Her name is Wanda. And yes, we’re going on a date tomorrow.” Alsie cheers and you shake your head. You go to your room to change. You get down and you see that all of them are looking at you so you tell them all about her.

How she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. How her scent and presence can calm you right down. How she’s a reader like you. How you can talk to her about everything.

“When are we going to meet her?” Alsie asks and you choke on your dinner. Val chuckles and Zale glares at her as Dahlia helps you.

“Why?”

“Because? First friend and possibly girlfriend. Maybe even soulmate.”

“How do you know?” You ask and Alsie raises an eyebrow at your question.

“Know what?”

“That a person is your soulmate?” Valerie groans and Zale smacks her in the head. Alsie smiles at you.

“Simply put, sex.” Zale shakes Alsie while Dahlia looks murderous. Alsie is trying to calm Zale down while Valerie is holding in her laughter.

“She is right.” Dahlia sighs. “When two people have sex, do you know of knotting?” You nod as you finish your food.

“When an Alpha cums inside of an Omega or a Beta. Their penis gets larger and would need at least half an hour or an hour to get it back to normal before they can take it out.”

“How about marks?”

“When a person bites their partner’s neck during sex.”

“Yep. There are two kinds of marks. A mate mark and a soulmate mark. And even though only one person bites the neck. The two will have it at the same time.”

“A mate mark is smaller and would only stay for either a day or a week. It’s kind of a brand.”

“Like this.” Valerie shows hers and you hum.

“Is that from that girl?”

“Yep.” Zale sighs and Valerie sweats as she looks away.

“A soulmate mark is a permanent one.” Zale takes off her shirt. A bigger and clearer mark is on her chest and you gulp. “Like this, Your Ma gave it to me.”

“While you were making me?” Zale glares at Alsie who raises her hands.

“It appeared during our first time. It never disappeared.”

“And also, every mark is the same if it’s the first time between two people, only time would tell if they are soulmates or not.”

“So… if Wanda ever marks me… or if I even have the courage to ask her to do it with me then if it doesn’t disappear means-“

“She’s your soulmate.” You groan.

“I can’t ask her to do that! I don’t want to!”

“And that’s totally fine!”

“Are you an ace?” You glance at Valerie who is serious and you sigh.

“No. I don’t think so… but isn’t it too early for us… we haven’t even-“

“Feelings is a good indicator as well.”

“Yep. I just felt like the world stopped when I first saw Venus it was amazing.” Alsie smiles and you reciprocate it. She just looked so in love and happy. “She was just so beautiful then she smiled and I felt my heart burst. That was when I knew I had to chase her.”

“Chase?”

“Something an Alpha does whenever they find someone attractive.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep. Venus thought I was annoying but decided to give me a chance.” You chuckle and Alsie ruffles your hair. You grunt as she grins at you.

“Good luck tomorrow sis.” You sigh. Good luck indeed.

-

You put on your clothes for the date and hum as you get ready. You get your phone and the flowers you bought earlier that day.

“Looking good, Y/N.” Alsie says in approval when you got down.

“Thanks.” You look at the time and go to the door. “Bye, sis!”

“Yep. Bye!” You wave goodbye before leaving and closing the door.

-

You arrived at the spot 10 minutes earlier than the agreed time but she was already there and wearing your jacket.

“You’re early.” You grin as you approach her. She sees the bouquet in your hand and her heart beats faster. You smile and hold it out. “For you.” She takes it and smiles as she smells it.

“Thanks.” You hold out your hand and she takes it.

“You ready?” She nods with a smile.

-

It was a standard date. Movies, in which you both watched a new released rom-com. Then a dinner inside a diner that was your personal favorite to go to. You’ve decided to walk her home.

“Did you enjoy our date?” You ask nervously and Wanda laughs. You stop and she grins at you. “I’m serious.”

“You’re seriously dense.” She says and moves closer to you.

“I want to know.” She hums and grabs your jacket.

“I seriously enjoyed it.” She pulls you closer and you hum.

“Out of 10?” She laughs and pushes you away while you grin. Her laugh is one of the most beautiful sounds you’ve ever heard.

“Seriously?” You shrug and she rolls her eyes.

“100.”

“Oh.”

“Just spending time with you can equivalent to 10 and you showing me your favorite places is just icing on the cake.” You take her hand and kiss it.

“Good.” Before you both knew it, you were both standing in front of her house.

“This is me.” You hum and look at the house.

“Pretty big house.” She laughs and you smile.

“I hope we do this again?” She asks and you nod.

“I sure hope so.” You let go of her hand and kiss her on the cheek. “I like spending time with you.” She pouts and before you know it, she pulls you by your jacket and kisses you. After your initial shock, you kiss her back. She tastes like the chocolate milkshake and omelet that you both ate earlier. You pull away slightly and she smiles.

“You don’t know how much I’ve been wanting to do that.” Your heart who was beating faster than usual feels like it’s in a race. One where you chase her.

“Good. I would love to do it again.” You kiss her again but you both pull away as Pietro calls her name. You look up and Pietro waves from his room.

“Hey, Y/N!” You wave at him back.

“Hey, Pietro.” He laughs.

“Wanda, was it a nice date?” You both blush at his question and Wanda groans.

“Pietro! Get inside!” He laughs but complies. She sighs and turns to you. “Sorry about him. He ju-“ You cut her off with a kiss. You grin as you pull away.

“Good night, Wanda. I’m looking forward to that next date.” She nods as you turn and walk away.

“Nice one, sis.” Wanda turns and Pietro was at their porch.

“Shut up, Pietro.” She grumbles and gets inside. She takes off your jacket and goes to her room. She smiles as she touches her lips. God, you were such a good kisser. And your hand… felt so right against hers. Her phone pings and she checks it.

You: How does Wednesday sound?

She laughs and replies before changing. She can’t wait to see you again on Monday.

-

As soon as you open the door, your family was up and front in your face. They were all asking different questions but only one thing was on your mind… Wanda. Okay, two things, how annoying your family is.

“Guys! Stop!” You say loudly and they all stop. They look at each other and chuckle. They were just so excited to see you go on a date. The day you knew that you were a Beta, you kinda swore to them that you won’t let anything or anyone get in the way of your grades… They didn’t knew back then that you were going to be a loner or you would not be socializing but Wanda changed that.

“Sorry, little one.” Zale ruffles your hair and smiles. “We just got excited.”

“And happy.” Dahlia hugs you and you hug your mother back. Everyone joins in and you can’t help the smile on your face.

“Thank you.” For being my family, for loving me and for accepting me. You didn’t voice the rest but hoped you could let them feel your gratitude.

-

A/N:

I just searched up the Eternals.... and I already got a fic idea. Damn. I'm now wondering if I could do it for Natasha... or Wanda.

I haven't even finished this sequel and yet my head is full of ideas.

Thank you for Reading!

[spunkpunx]

Say You Love Me - Jimmy Darling

Plot: Reader is heartbroken when she hears Jimmy has lost his hands, but when they're replaced he decides to make up for lost time

Word count: 3105

Warnings: Smut, Smoking, Mild violence

The words hit me like a ton of bricks when Dell brought the news. Jimmy's hands were gone. My Jimmy's hands were gone. Taken. That no good piece of shit Richard Spencer and his lies. I couldn't believe Elsa had fallen for his bollocks, but I supposed that was his game. The rest of the freaks stood in shock.

"Oh no, not Jimmy!" Ima cried over dramatically. I felt my blood boil. My skin crawled as she wailed. I felt my ears burn up with my rage. She'd been here not five minutes and here she was, caterwauling over what they had done to him. I couldn't out loud admit what I felt about Jimmy, but I sure as hell could let it be known how I felt about her. I ran at her and swung one hard punch to the side of her head. The force did not knock her over, but the shock certainly did. 

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I spat out the words repeatedly as I continued to hit her face and chest once she had fallen. I felt my eyes prick as I screamed at her, before Paul and Eve pulled me away. The second the anger cleared I collapsed in tears. Penny came over to me as Eve followed Dell out the tent. She held me tight as I sobbed into her chest. Ima was taken out the tent, bloodied and bruised and sniveling. I lifted my head only to spit in her direction.

"Shh, shh," Penny cooed, stroking my hair. 

"What have they done to him?" I whimpered, my voice coming out far more feeble and cracked then I had ever heard it. "How's he going to survive in there without his hands?"

"I don't know," Penny told me, honestly. "I'm sure he'll find a way."

She took me back to my caravan and I poured myself a drink. I pulled an ashtray out the cupboard and lit a cigarette.

"You don't have to watch over me Penny. I'm sure you probably best go check on your man."

"I don't want to leave you like this," she admitted, sat delicately on the edge of my bed. She was still so beautiful, despite the lizard tattoo, and so kind as well. I couldn't bear to be around anyone at the minute though.

"I'll be fine," I told her softly, but when she didn't move I snapped at her. "Piss off! I don't want you here!" I hadn't meant to be so harsh, but she gathered herself up and left. I knocked back my drink in one. It burned my eyes and stung my throat but I hoped for my own sake it would help me sleep.

I went through more alcohol and more cigarettes. My ashtray overflowed. My head was spinning as I reached toward the bottom of the bottle. With my head heavy I fell over into my bed and pulled the covers round myself, only bothering to clumsily remove my shoes before shutting my eyes tight and trying to forget my thoughts. I lay there, my mind playing a reel of horrors of what could have happened to Jimmy. I pictured him beaten in a jail cell, battered to death like Meep was, or sat in despair at his own situation. I knew he couldn't have killed those women, even if he didn't, because he was here in this caravan when it happened. I knotted my fingers into my hair, reeling drunk. I was just as bad as he had been. 

I eventually passed out, but kept waking, sweaty and restless after nightmares. At one point my stomach turned and I chugged up my guts off the side of my bed. I rolled back over after that and caught half an hours rest before I woke again. The night went on like that until the sun rose and Eve came in to get me up. 

"Oh sweetheart," she muttered upon seeing my sorry state. She delicately picked her way to the bed past the vomit and brought me out of bed to go sit on the seat I had. I blubbered pathetically while she tossed a towel over my mess and brought me a glass of water. I was still slightly drunk, but tried to be as co-operative as possible. Eve sat next to me, pulling me in for a hug while I continued to feel like a maudlin burden on her. She took me over to have breakfast with the others, and I hiccuped my way through some bread and butter, as everyone threw pitiful stares my way. I began to sober up. 

"I'm sorry, Eve. I'm sorry I'm so useless."

"Don't be silly, come with me," she directed, taking my hand and leading me away from the show ground. As we walked further away I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.

"It's awful nice of you to try cheer me up but I'd rather not go anywhere," I told Eve, following her through the undergrowth. We passed the spot where Ethel had ended her life, which brought back more memories of how Jimmy had been after she passed. My eyes welled, but I tried hard to keep it suppressed. I didn't want anyone to think I was being such a pathetic mess over Jimmy Darling. I didn't want to be another of the freaks that he's fucked and now loves him.

"It's Elsa who said you ought to come here," Eve explained. It was probably her plan to distract me from my wallowing, or punish me for what I did to Ima. I expected hard labour ahead of me.  We reached a small barn with the doors locked. Eve produced a key, unlocking the chains. "Now listen. Elsa says its your job to look after him," she instructed pulling the door open to let me see inside. It took me a minute to realise there was a bed, a bed and a familiar face. 

"Jimmy!" I gasped, rushing to his side. I burst into tears again, this time from pure relief. "Oh baby your hands!" 

By his side lay two bloodied stumps wrapped in bandage. His eyes filled with tears when he looked at me. 

"Princess I haven't ever seen you cry before," he told me lightheartedly, but his voice cracked and he wept. I placed my hand on his face and he leaned into my touch as I wiped his tear with my thumb. I turned back to give Eve a thank you but she had left. I turned to Jimmy. 

"I thought you were gonna be gone forever," I told him, sniffling. 

"Me too baby." I bent down and pressed my lips down against his. We shared a salty kiss. I felt him flinch hard and cut off the kiss when he lifted his arm hold me. He immediately broke down in tears again. "I'm never going to be able to hold you again," he whimpered, and I sensed that there was certainly more to it than that. It stung to see him in such a sorry state.

"Oh Jimmy don't upset yourself," I tried to comfort him. "I have to change your bandages. Okay?" He shook his head. "I let you do it for me," I reminded him.

"Well you have no fucking idea how much it hurts," he snapped. I understood his frustration, but I couldn't help but pull away, hurt. His eyes softened. "I'm sorry (y/n), I just... I just don't know what I'm gonna do."

"Hold, still." I ran my hand down his arm slowly until I reached the bandage trying to cause minimum pain. I unwrapped it slowly, Jimmy putting on a brave face. As I pulled the bloodied part away from his wound he flinched and gritted his teeth. "This is really gonna sting," I warned as I poured alcohol onto cotton to clean his injury. He bit down on his pillow and nodded for me to go ahead. I wiped it as gently as I could and tried to ignore his muffled howl. "I'm sorry." He let the pillow from his teeth.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, doll," he assured, breathless from pain. I took his stump in my hands, wrapping it in bandage.

"I tried to tell the police it wasn't you, but they wouldn't listen."

"It might have been me, I was there, I was blind drunk."

"It wasn't, Jimmy. You were in my caravan. You said you loved me."

"I do." He looked at me sincerely. I avoided his eye, focusing my attention back to binding up his arm.

"You don't Jimmy, you love Maggie, you only wanted me because you were scared she might leave you and you thought I wouldn't." I sighed. 

"That's not true, I kept coming back because I love you." Tears pricked my eyes again. He probably thought Maggie had left and was settling for me. I tied off the bandage and he raised his arm up to my face, sucking in his breath sharply as his stump brushed my cheek. "And you love me too."

"No, I don't," I lied. He watched me, his stare breaking me apart like it always had.

"Paul came by before you. I haven't seen you cry once before, (y/n), but he said you have been tearful all morning. He also told me about Ima," he teased, smugly. I didn't know it was possible to sound both so weak and so smug at the same time. 

"I was worried, it doesn't mean-" 

"Please just tell me it does. Just tell me you love me, it's all I ever wanted to hear." I let out a breath I never realised I was holding.

"I love you, Jimmy Darling." He smiled at me. I reached into my jacket pocket, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it before taking a few draws. I put it between his lips for him so he could take a puff. 

"Look at me," he complained. "Can't even hold my own cigarette."

"Hush now Jimmy. Things will take time," I reassured him, to little effect. We shared the rest of the cigarette and I moved round to change the bandage on the other side. Jimmy didn't speak until I'd finished and stood up to leave.

"Thank you, (y/n)," he said sincerely. I went back to his bedside, leaned down a pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

"I'll be here to change your bandages again tomorrow,"  I told him softly.

Although Elsa had not left, she had still sold the show to Chester, who although had a definite screw loose, seemed harmless enough. He was bright, chirpy and certainly not bossy. His odd qualities only came from the wooden ventriloquist doll he was so attached to. The twins seemed quite smitten with him, and, if I didn't know any better, I'd say they were screwing him. 

I was civil with Maggie after her trickery, especially knowing how difficult the world could be, but Jimmy had far from forgiven her. This was a hard situation to negotiate. She had asked about him, and I knew she cared, but Jimmy was set in his hatred of her. It was hard to sympathise with a woman who had been part in a scheme resulting in the death of Ma Petite and the loss of Jimmy's hands. For the most part I told the truth. Jimmy was not going to soften any time soon.

I apologised to Ima too, hard as it was. She didn't really take my apology, but it hardly bothered me. It was mainly for the sake of the others, and to keep the peace. 

That night, Dell was shot. He, it turned out, had been the one to kill Ma Petite. I felt bad for his death. As shitty as his actions were, I always felt he was trying his hardest for a better life. Still, killing another freak was unforgivable, and Ma Petite was innocence itself. It was my job to deliver the news to Jimmy, which was horrible.

"He was my father!" 

"I know Jimmy! I'm sorry!"

"Don't you dare start apologising for those murderers, (y/n)!"

"Jimmy he killed Ma Petite!" I ended up snapping. "He killed an innocent and he paid the price." Jimmy broke down into tears again, and I ended up wrapping my arms around him.

"I'm losing everything."

"Come on, baby. It hurts to see you cry so much," I mumbled into his neck. He sobbed into my shoulder.

"Don't ever leave me (y/n). Don't ever break my heart.”

The day Jimmy's hands were ready was the happiest I had seen him in months. I came into the barn again to see him, when I spotted him sat on the bed. The moment he saw me he stood up and rushed toward me. I opened my arms to him and he caught me in his grasp, lifting me off my toes. He kissed me, properly. His dark eyes seemed full of hope. I took his arms from around me and held one of his new hands in mine. Mr. Dolcefino had created perfect wooden hands, still with Jimmy's finger shapes. They were works of art.

"They're beautiful, baby," I told him, smiling.

"They ain't half as functional as they were, but my hands have never looked so good."

"Your hands always looked good." I kissed him again, harder this time. He pulled me flush against him.

"It kills me I can't touch you the same baby," he told me, running his wrists down my side in place of his hands.

"I don't care, Jimmy. I love you," I said, and it was the first time I'd said it since he asked me to. He pulled me in again for another kiss, slipping his tongue into my mouth and pushing the backs of my knees against the bed. "Easy tiger," I teased.

"I haven't held you in so long (y/n)," he replied, pushing himself even closer to me, my body flush with his own. I felt him, hard against my thigh. I kissed him again, hard, and let him push me onto the bed, his own weight on top of mine. He began to nip at my neck, and I sighed contentedly. He went to cup my breast with his hand, but came short when he realised his hands could not move the same, could not feel. "Baby, I'm sorry," he apologised, sitting up on his knees and pulling away. I sat up with him and put my hands around his neck, fiddling with the hair at its nape.

"You aren't giving up that easy are you?" I jibed. "After all, you have a mouth in perfect working order." He grinned at me, pulling me into another hungry kiss. He nibbled down my neck again.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to undress yourself, doll." I did as instructed, pulling my jumper over my head while Jimmy watched. He returned to kissing my collarbone as I undid my bra. His kisses travelled over my breasts, wooden hand against my side. He kissed along my chest, eventually moving to take one of my nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue over it as I sighed. He bit down on it and I yelped, scolding him lightly by giving him a little slap on the arm. He grinned again at my reaction, before kissing his way down my sternum. He stopped for a second, giving me an opportunity to pull my trousers off for him. I went to pull my underwear down but he stopped me, instead using his teeth to pull them down and bringing them the rest of the way with his prosthetic. I laughed at his actions, until he buried his face into my heat, licking over my clit again and again. I felt myself get quickly wetter as he flicked his tongue up my slit. His attention went back to my clit, circling it as I dug my fingers into his hair, pulling at it and moaning as I did. I felt my cheeks flush when he came back up the bed to kiss me again, my taste still on his lips. "I'm feeling a little uncomfortable in these pants, do you think you can help doll?" he asked. I happily obliged.

"Of course baby." I pulled his shirt of his shoulders slowly, the removed his vest, taking my time to run my hands all across his chest and take it all in again. I ran my hand over his stomach and reached to palm him through his trousers. He groaned and closed his eyes. Then I took off the trousers, getting him to sit up in order to help me. I could see the shame in his eyes so as soon as they were off I kissed him hard and put my hands into his pants, stroking his cock. He let out the most delicious moan into the kiss. After a minute of this we were both desperate for it so I bit his earlobe and pulled his cock out of his pants, guiding it to the right place. He pushed into me slowly.

"Fuck," he swore, before capturing my mouth with his and thrusting again. I let out another moan into his mouth as he bit down hard on my lip. He pressed wet kisses into my neck, speeding up his thrusts with considerable lack of control. It had been a while since we had sex, so the desperation in his movements was very apparent. He let out the most beautiful gasps and moans, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers into his hair as he continued to nip and suck at my collarbone. I tugged at his brown curls and he groaned breathily. He recaptured my lips in his own and I let out a moan as he pushed deeper into me.

"Jimmy," I panted into his ear, before pulling on his earlobe with my teeth. He let out what was almost a growl and fucked me even harder. I felt myself drawing closer to finishing and let out a desperate string of swears.

“Come on, baby doll, fuckin finish for me,” Jimmy murmured deeply, kissing along my jaw and neck before biting down on my collarbone. I let out a gasp as I felt a wave of pleasure over me, clenching around him and digging my nails into his back. He kept going, his thrusts sloppy, coaxing me through my orgasm until a faltering moan fell from his lips and he pulled out, spilling his load onto my stomach. He lay on top of me, spent, and I pulled my fingers through his hair, running my nails against his scalp.

“You really love me?” I asked, as his hot breath brushed my neck. Before he answered he pressed soft kisses against my shoulder.

“Of course I do, doll face.”

[musette22]

Hello! Can you write a stucky or evanstan fic where steve/chris finally confessed his feelings to bucky/sebastian using the hearts candy, pretty please? Oh I really love your fics!

Aww, thank you so much, lovely! This was such a sweet idea (excuse the pun), and I chose to go with prewar Stucky for this one! I hope that’s okay 🥰🥰

Sweethearts

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Rating: Gen

Words: 2k

A/N: Apparently these sweets have existed since the late nineteenth-century, and - fun fact - at some point they were being produced by the Stark Candy Company!

***

Steven Grant Rogers has never really needed much of a reason to get into a fight. Today, though, he’s in an extra foul mood and he’s just itching for some action.

He promised himself he would tell Bucky how he felt. Promised himself he would do it on Bucky’s birthday, when he had some Dutch courage in his system and Bucky would be in good spirits and hopefully less likely to punch him in the face if he didn’t like what Steve had to say. But Bucky’s birthday came and went, and once again, Steve had failed to get the words out.

Apparently the bullies were right after all: he is a wimp, and a coward to boot.

He’s been stewing over his failure ever since he opened his eyes this morning, getting more and more worked up as the day went on. So when he’s on his way home after a shift at the newspaper and a burly, greasy guy across the street catcalls a dame who’s walking by herself, Steve’s hackles are up even faster than usual.

“Hey, asshole,” Steve calls, his voice ringing out loud and clear in the quiet street. “Didn’t your ma ever teach you any manners?”

He gets the shit kicked out of him, of course – no surprises there. Steve gets in a few good punches too, because he’s feeling amped up and punching assholes has always been his favorite way to let off steam. But at the end of the day, the guy is twice his size and three times as strong, and it’s only because he gets bored with the lack of competition and walks off at some point that Steve escapes the scuffle with ‘just’ a shiner and a few bruised ribs.

Oh, and a mood even fouler than before.

He fumes quietly as he walks the last few blocks home, angrily kicking an empty can out of the way and blowing his tousled bangs out of his eyes. Damn it, he thinks. Damn it all to hell. He’s so busy cursing the heavens that he almost fails to notice the motorcar that turns around the corner, but he manages to jump out of the way just in time. His shoulder bumps against a shop window, and that’s when something colorful catches his eye.

He’s looking at the window of a candy story, or at a jar filled to the brim with candy hearts, to be precise. Sweethearts, they’re called now: little multicolored pieces of candy that each have a word stamped into them.

On a whim, Steve pushes open the door to the shop and steps inside. He’s greeted by the jangle of the doorbell and a wary look from the proprietor, who eyes Steve’s black eye with mistrust but who sells him a small bag of Sweethearts nonetheless. Business is business, after all. Although Steve is well aware that he shouldn’t be spending the money he just made with his extra shift on candy, and this is clearly a stupid plan anyway, he is kind of desperate at this point, and desperate times call for desperate measures.

The hearts burn a hole in his pocket as he makes his way back to the apartment. It’s like they’re taunting him, whispering to him that he’s not gonna do it, he’s too much of a chicken to tell Bucky how he feels. Too gutless to tell him that he’s loved him since the day they met, even if he only later realized he was in love with him. It took Steve a while to work up to the decision that he should tell Bucky about that inconvenient but undeniable truth, which has fueled and consumed him in equal measure ever since it presented itself.

It took him six years, to be precise.

Six years in which Steve pretended he loved Bucky like one friend loves another, pretended he wasn’t looking at Bucky’s mouth and wondering what it would feel like against his own. Six years in which Steve called Bucky a jerk instead of all the other, much tenderer things that were always on the tip of his tongue.

But now, with war raging in Europe and people risking their lives for their own and other’s freedom, Steve could no longer stomach the idea that he wasn’t even brave enough to tell his best friend that he loved him. And in his heart of hearts, Steve knows it doesn’t even matter. He knows he’ll love Bucky until they’re both old and grey, regardless of whether Bucky feels the same way in return.

But maybe, just maybe there is a chance that he does. And maybe today might be the day that Steve’s going to find out.

As he trudges up the stairs and opens the door to their apartment, Steve’s hopes of getting to freshen up a little to hide the worst of the damage before Bucky gets home are dashed when he hears someone whistling the latest Glenn Miller tune from inside.

Shit. Steve is usually home before Bucky, but then he usually doesn’t get into fights on his way home (well, not every day, at least). He sighs, squaring himself up for the reprimand Bucky is no doubt going to give him when he notices the state Steve is in.

As soon as he steps through the door, Bucky turns around from where he’s standing by the sink, holding a glass of milk. He’s in his work pants still, but he’s taken off his jacket, leaving him in just his undershirt and suspenders. Unthinkingly, Steve’s eyes linger on the curve of Bucky’s biceps, taking in the way the shirt is sticking to his stomach with sweat, even though it’s only March. When he finally lifts his gaze to Bucky’s face, though, Steve feels his stomach drop. Bucky’s brow is furrowed, his lips turned down into an unhappy frown.

“For pity’s sake, Steve…” Bucky sighs, sounding infinitely weary. “You really can’t go one week without gettin’ into a fight? What was it this time, somebody breathe in your direction?”

Steve bristles at the implication that it must have been him who started it, even though it had in fact – depending on how you looked at it – been him who started it.

“This asshole was harassing a dame all on her own,” Steve huffs. “What was I supposed to have done, just keep walking?”

“Was he attacking her?”

“No,” Steve replies, frowning. “He catcalled her, but–”

“Steve.” Bucky rolls his eyes, running a hand through his chestnut hair, wavy again now that the cream he put in it this morning has evaporated with a day’s hard work at the docks. “We’ve been over this. There’s always going to be assholes out there, you know that. You can’t fight ‘em all, pal”

“Yes, I can,” Steve counters, unconsciously pushing out his chin a little. “And I will.”

Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep sigh. “I swear, Steve, sometimes I think you got a death wish. What am I gonna do with your stubborn ass?”

A slightly manic giggle escapes Steve at that, because he’s got one or two idea ideas for what Bucky could to with his ass. The sound must rub Bucky the wrong way, however, because he raises his eyebrows, eyes going comically wide.

“Oh, you think this is funny, do you?” he asks, then draws himself up to his full height before proceeding to lecture Steve on what are and what aren’t valid reasons to start a fight.

Having heard this spiel countless times before, Steve mulishly tunes Bucky out and instead starts digging around in the pocket of his ragged coat for the little paper bag.

His heart starts beating faster as he pulls it out and opens it, but he ignores it, just as he ignores the little voice in the back of his head screeching at him to abort, abort, abort. He’s not getting cold feet this time – it’s now or never.

“Are you even listening to me?” Bucky huffs impatiently, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Steve doesn’t bother replying because he figures it’s pretty clear he isn’t listening, and instead peers inside the bag, trying to find the one he needs.

Ah. There.

Finally looking back up at Bucky, Steve holds out his hand. There, in his palm, lies a pink little heart.

Bucky’s eyes drop to Steve’s outstretched hand. “What’s this?”

Instead of answering, Steve just keeps looking at him, silently willing Bucky to just get the hint already and take the piece of candy.

Bucky peers down at Steve’s hand, uncomprehending. Then, suddenly, he goes still. He blinks a few times, fast, mouth opening and closing as if he’s going to say something. He doesn’t, but he does reach out slowly, picking up the pink heart from Steve’s palm and then staring at it some more from close up.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Bucky lift his head again, his eyes findings Steve’s. “Steve? What’s this?”

And because he can’t help himself and also he’s about to keel over just from sheer nerves, Steve snaps, “Sorry, I forgot you couldn’t read.”

When Bucky doesn’t respond, just keeps standing there with his mouth hanging open like a fish on land, Steve slowly starts to feel very stupid, and very, very vulnerable. He’s unable to stop the heat rising up in his cheeks, a blush spreading like a wildfire from his face to the tips of his ears and down his chest.

And that, seeing Steve shrinking in on himself, that must be what makes Bucky finally understand. Because from one moment to the next, Bucky’s face transforms, his expression melting into something soft and so mushy it makes Steve’s heart ache.

“Stevie…” Bucky breathes, not taking his eyes off Steve. “This says –”  He stops, licking his lips. “This says ‘I love you’.”

Steve nods, slowly, and asks, “Is that okay?”

Because apparently he is still a dumbass, even if he now isn’t quite so much of a coward anymore.

Bucky’s face melts a little further. Steve would’ve thought he looked stupid, if he wasn’t so gone on him. “Are you- Do you mean it?” His voice is barely more than a whisper at this point, as if he’s afraid to break whatever this thing is that’s slowly taking shape between them.

Steve inhales deeply to steady his nerves, his knees feeling worryingly shaky all of a sudden. “I do, Buck.”

Bucky makes a little sound then, something between a sigh and a laugh; incredulous, like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. Bolstered by Bucky’s reaction, Steve gets an idea and starts rooting around in the bag again for another heart.

When he finds the one he needs, a yellow one this time, he holds it out to Bucky, not breaking eye contact until Bucky’s gaze dips down to the offering. This time when he sees it, he barks out a laugh, unrestrained and joyous.

Kiss me, the heart says.

Steve watches Bucky pop both the hearts in his mouth, before he bridges the distance between them in two long strides. He takes Steve’s face between his large hands, his touch surprisingly gentle, and leans down, softly pressing his lips to Steve’s.

For a moment, Steve lets himself be kissed – until he recovers from the shock, and then he gives back as good as he gets. He stands up on his tip toes and wraps his arms around Bucky’s neck, pulling him closer, always closer.

By the end of the kiss, Steve has a heart, too.

Bucky tips back his head just a little, looking down at him through his lashes, his lovely slate-blue eyes a few shades darker than they were before. Steve is breathless, both from the kiss and from Bucky’s beauty, which he’s finally able to appreciate openly now, for the first time since he realized the way his heart tripped at the sight of it meant love.

Leaning in again, Bucky gently brushes his lips over Steve’s as he whispers, “I’m sweet on you too, pal.”

Read on AO3

[cohentoplaywithmagic]

who lives, who dies, who tells your story || davina

WHO→ Tina Cohen-Chang and Dave Karofsky  WHERE→ Shelters for NYADA Students  WHEN→ SATURDAY, AUGUST 24 , 2019 WHAT→  Dave and Tina are the first people they find after the destruction of NYADA. {ALSO THEIR FRIST HUG]  WARNING→ Death mention, Terrorism mention, Violence mention, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression. 

To say that they had all been through terrible things was an understatement, the danger, the hurt and so much it was hard to even keep up with it anymore. Tina's is in the hustle and bustle of the shelter amongst the other NYADA Students and Staff. The ones that were alive at least. The room was filled with a mixture of deafening silences, wailing cries, so much noise but to Tina all of it blended into a drown, as she pushes through the crowds looking for a familiar face hoping, praying, begging that everyone made it back. Her eyes' still stained red from crying about The Boulder. Her eyes well again. Frantically she searches the facilities for anyone to hold, collapse or catch a moment with.

David walks around. Trying to focus only on the people there. On the people alive. He should feel wrong. It didn't feel as when a disaster happened at the clan. The city always feel more distant. He notices a familiar face. "Tina." He says, approaching her. "You hurt? So glad to see ya." He says, releasing a breathe of relief.

Tina could not hold back, as she clung onto Dave hugging him tightly more for her own sake to know that this is real. "Dave, oh my aether," she holds back a silent sob, "I'm fine." Better than could be said than other's,"I'm not hurt I got out in time." She inspects him,"What about you, are you okay? Were you with anyone else?! Have you heard from anyone else?!?"

David didn't expect this. He was still feeling as this wasn't completely happening. He hugs Tina back, wondering if he ever did before. "I'm here. Got hurt but healed." He says. Tina asks about others. He wants to think all the people he care about are safe. He tries to avoid thinking about the possibility. "Was alone at first, with Mistl-with someone from the malleus. Saw Finn, Ell, Dani, Evans and some other student running away. Ran away. I-I think they all ran." He didn't see where they ended up going, but they had to get here. They must be safe. "You? Were with others? Know if anyone else is safe?"

Maybe this had been the first time that Tina has ever hugged Dave. The thought of that made him hold him tighter, as it was an easily missed experience with friends and possibly could have never happened. She pushes the thought away. "M-Ma-Malleus, this was Malleus," she heard people muttering about it but hearing it loud and clear darkens all her thoughts. "They all got away, they gotta have. I'm glad you did and aether it is all a blur." Tina remembers,"Brittany had a portal and I was with Finn, Ell there too and i went into the portal but no one came." She bites her lip,"Sam and Dani made but...Sam....Sam mentioned The Boulder," she sucks a breath shaking her head,"Not good..."

David knows the way Tina talks about the malleus is not the same as him. Is not the same worry as much as its fear. Elliott was with her and then leave. "More had to came later. Ell came to help." His first thought was Mister Bolder got badly hurt, and Tina was worried. Thinking twice, may be worse. "W-what happened?" He tries to think what would had help him in those moments. "You knew him from long ago, as a teacher. Right?"

"Yeah they did, they are all safe and sound, they gotta be," Tina holds a brave smile, tucking her hair behind her ear,"Everything happened too fast. Ell had to come through." He just had too. "I don't know what happened," her voice is low,"But from the way Sam came back and acted....it, it doesn't seem good." A lump gets thicker in her throat,"Yeah, he's been in nearly all my Field Studies lessons since my first year. He is one of the strongest teacher's at NYADA. He cares." She speaks of him in the present tense, little to knowing his fate or not.

David was worried, but he didn't want to alert Tina more. He wants to say Mister Bolder is probably alright. Not because he is particularly fond of Mister Bolder, but because he worries about Tina. "If the Bolder is so strong, he should be fine. Ain't that strong and get out." He said, hoping he didn't fuck it up. "This is the second time. Are you afraid? I..." He tries to speak. "Think I understand more now."

"Yeah, yeah he had gotta made it," Tina reassures herself on Dave's words ,"We got out and we are fine, we are here. We made it!" Tina looks for the bits of hope there could be, anything was worth holding onto too. "I'm terrified...." she whispers lowly,"Nothing ever seems to get better...the moment you think it does something like this happens."

David noods, looking at her. "I'm really glad you're alive, Tina." Nothing gets better. The phrase sets him back to things he shouldn't think. It just get worse. "No." He just says, because he really didn't know yet any way to counter it. "You said things seem to get better. What happened?" Maybe talking about more positive things would help.

"I'm glad you're alive too, Dave," Tina says with seniority. For a moment she was taken back by his no. "The things that get better? There small things, even getting out bed and grabbing a coffee, being with friends- the simple things in the everyday worth living for, but are we really living when it is just surviving."

David looks down. "No 'bout everything going worse." It was true, and he didn't want to deny Tina the right to say it. But he wanted to fight it some way. "Ain't asking in general. Asking you what was getting better for ya." He keeps looking down. "Sometimes surviving is enough. Wonder if malleus think the same 'bout us."

Maybe it was the moment with all the bad things consuming her but it was overwhelming playing in her head. "Things that are getting better for me?"  She takes a deep breath,"I wanna fight for my friends, to have their friendship back. I wanna spend time with my mom. I wanna have time to not hide away anymore." She shakes her head,"I don't wanna know what Malleus thinks.

“Do it." David says. "Win their friendship back. Be with your mom. Hide less."He says, also knowing he should change some things about how he acts. "World won't get better. But they're people who care 'bout us. And we care 'bout 'em. Should expend our energy on 'em." He feels a bit unsure now. "I-I wanna know." He remembers thing Tina said when they were at Saltus. "You said somethin' 'bout changing sides and not belonging. Know 'bout those. Wanna fix friendships too" He makes sad smile. "What happened?"

"It is something worth fight for, things worth holding onto," Tina states as it being one of the only hopes that she has with everything that had been thrown her way. "That...that actually make a lot of sense," Tina really should be talking to her friends, speaking about things wasn't as half as bad as she built herself up to believe. Dave brings up Saltus and what she said to Ki- Wilde, and that was a problem all in itself. "Oh that...yeah. It's what I do...did...I spend time doing what other's want me to do, so I have value and most the time I retreat away, finding places were I feel safer but not with the real people that care about me. It's what I took for granted with Blaine and Elliott."

David nods. "I should be doing it too." David doesn't know what Tina did, but he knows he probably did worse to all of them. "Ha... me too. And yet I always end up doing things no one wants." He puts his hand on Tina's shoulder. "You have value, Tina. You're important. Didn't treat any of my friends good either. Can do less worse now."

"Do you have something that you are fight for?" Tina wants to know and motivate if she can, it was a way to look on something more positive. "What do you mean no one wants?" She repeats his action and places a hand on her shoulder,"But I gotta use my value right. And not let anyone down. When there is rock bottom , the only way to go it up."

"My clan." David answers. "If only I could get rid of the exile..."He says, having less hope each day. But maybe. just maybe, there was something he could try. "Just keep failing people. That's all. They tell me what they want and I get it all wrong. Or get it but do it wrong anyway." David used to think that way, now he knows one can always go deeper. He lies and nods anyway. He didn't want to discourage Tina.

"Don't loose hope okay? There has got to be a way that you can lift the exile on your clan, things progress slowly but were there is hope, there is a way." Tina keeps a light in her voice. "Can I be honest with you? We're different you and I, the way we learnt magic, the way we see the aether and a lot of things but never once have you failed me, Dave." She tells him softly,"Sometimes you can get things wrong but it is not because you mean too. We all make mistakes but it is what we learn from those mistakes and actions to make sure it doesn't happen again."

David uhms, but doesn't give an actual answer. "Tina. I joined a plan to destroy the world." He says, thinking Tina already knew about it. Maybe she didn't. He wasn't supposed to talk about it. "I meant it. Ain't sure what I learnt." He didn't want this to turn up worse. It was too much already.

Tina looks away from him brief trying find the right words to say,”You did what you did...you choose the side the was meat to feel safer right?” The feeling was regrettable and nauseating,,”You survived the end of the world...and this too. There’s gotta be something learnt. If anything today...today and all the other times we’ve met world’s end...there has gotta be a reason being alive is worth while for.”

TW: Death and suicide and depressive stuff 

 "Was suppose to die. David admits looking to the side. "Wasn't safer. But it felt like it was." He wondered what he was thinking. He knew he was expendable for them. He knew most people in the world were. It was absurd to think they would let alive the ones he wanted to live. "But so many didn't. Why me. They all wanted to live." He starts saying. Martin Frog asks him if he want to keep going on this line of thinking. He doesn't. "L-let's stop talkin' 'bout me. Sure ya wanna see if the others are here."

Tina looks at him, eyes starting to well up once again. Her fists ball deep into her sides as Dave speaks so dismissive of himself. She trembles a little a mixture of sadness and anger running through her, legs bulking slightly with this swirl of emotion inside,"But you are here right now, standing with me talking. You get to live. Gotta count that as something worth living for." Partly she says this for herself, hoping that it would be something to Dave too. "Okay," she agrees in a delicate whisper,"Yeah- yeah we should." Standing on her toes she begins to look in the sea of sad faces,"But Dave, please know I'm glad that you're here with me."

David gives Tina a soft punch on the shoulder, and a little smile. "Same 'bout ya." He answers.

[hiyo-silver]

Dear Blue Birb, - Puzzle Pieces

Summary: Blue and Bill finally meet.

A/N: The ending is here!!

Chapters 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 + ao3

Taglist: @fuckboykaspbrak @thesquidliesthuman @rachi0964 @beepbeep-losers @bigbilliamdenbro @jalenrose1122 @sleepygaybrough @itandstrangerthingsfanfic @boopboopbichie @peachywyatt @aizeninlefox @sockwantstodie @ahoybyeler @yooonbum

The next few days are lonely. No losers, no Blue, Bill hardly has anything left. He drives to and from school alone, going home just to dick around on his computer until it’s time to sleep. Time moves slow and he’s spending a lot of his life just zoning out. It’s like sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool and watching everyone else swim just fine, but you’re weighed down.

One day he’s walking to the diner to get something to eat, that and the fact that he needs some fresh air. He needed to get out of the house, it was starting to drive him a bit crazy. He keeps his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes trained on his sneakers as they slap against the pavement at an even rhythm.

He gets a bit stiffer as he passes by the Kaspbrak house, shrugging his head further into his hood to the mas the read hair that’s really only attributed to him and Beverly Marsh. It’s nearly the end of Hanukkah, St. Nic would have come for the young children a day or two ago, and the weather matches. He watches the fog escape his mouth as he breathes out, trying not to be too anxious. He deserves a second to relax after all that’s happened.

Eddie’s looks out the window at just the right time to spot his best friend on the sidewalk outside. He feels a softness wash over him. He really does feel bad that Bill was outed. He can’t imagine how he’s cope if it’d been him. He’s not often one to be impulsive, but maybe just this once he’ll let himself make a snap decision. He pulls his coat over himself and zips it up as he dashes down the stairs of his house and out to meet Bill where he’s walking. He knows he was insensitive, but he can only go so long without his childhood best friend, he needs to apologize.

Bill doesn’t acknowledge him nor say anything yet. Eddie jogs to keep up with him. The shorter boy doesn’t say anything yet either, fumbling for his inhaler before pushing a puff of the medicine into his mouth to free his constricted lungs. He gasps for air for a moment, his hot breaths showing up white fog against the cold air.

“Okay, Bill, I gotta be kinda fast. My mom has decided I’ve got a cold this week so she’ll be mad I’m out. I’m sorry for how I reacted and what I said to you. It wasn’t your fault and I never should have done that,” Eddie rushes out, trying to keep up with the strides of Bill’s long legs. It takes Bill a few moments to react, but when he does he looks to Eddie looking nearly as if he’s about to start crying.

“I bet you don’t know how much I was hoping you’d say something like that,” he says with a sigh of relief, stopping in his tracks. He lets his eyes meet Eddie’s. “It’s just been so hard,” he says in a small voice, just glad to be able to verbalize it to someone. He’s never been used to dealing with hardship on his own, he’s had the losers for years and this is one of the only times he’s had to be separated from them.

“I’m sorry this has all been going on, you really didn’t deserve that. Martin should suck a fat one, one that hasn’t been washed in weeks, not even circumcised,” Eddie starts rambling on, not knowing how else to talk to Bill after this long gap in their friendship. It’s never happened like this before. “To be fair. I did think something was up. I even said to Ben one day ‘ah Billy-boy must be in love, only a man in love acts that way,’” he says with a chuckle. “Who is it that you love so much, tell me about this ‘Blue Birb’.”

Bill smiles, chuckling slightly in awkwardness, there’s so much he could say about this boy. Nearly everything except for his name. “Well, he’s quite lovely. He’s kind and funny. And he’s so, so smart. Like all his jokes are about smart people things. We’ve been talking since his post, the one you actually told me about. Thank you for that, I suppose,” he rambles almost as bad as Eddie does, flushing red at the idea of finally being able to gush about the boy he likes so much.

“Have you met him? Like in real life?” Eddie asks, nudging Bill teasingly, wiggling his eyebrows up and down at the tall ginger. He’s almost as bad as Richie, basically asking about their sex life straight away. Eddie’s always been that friend. The one who will gossip with just the losers but keep his mouth zipped all of the rest of the time.

“Actually no. I don’t know who he is, I mean I know him as a person, but not his name or what he looks like or anything. Kinda wish I did, I want to be able to like, kiss him, and hug him and stuff,” he says in a small voice, sighing wistfully. He’s a hopeless romantic in his own sense, longing to meet him now. But he doesn’t know how, the email address has been deleted. Months of talking down the drain, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get to talk to him again.

“I’m sorry about that, I hope you get to soon,” Eddie says, trying to meet Bill���s eyes but they’re on the ground again. He still likes Bill, but obviously Bill is deep into this, the thing he’s sparked with Blue. He deserves the happiness that has come with it. He won’t get in the way. He always thought he’d do anything to be with Bill, but now he’s realized really he just wants Bill to be happy.

“Me too,” Bill says, stopping on the sidewalk again. An idea springs into his head, having him turning around sharply, then looking to Eddie. “I just realized I have something at home to take care of, can we continue this conversation later?” he asks, his voice breathless with excitement. It’s only a simple idea, and it may not even work. But speaking with Eddie has given him the most motivation he’s had since Blue ended their contact.

Eddie nods, a little taken aback by his sudden change in tone. “Yeah, yeah definitely. Text me when you can, I should be heading back home now too, don’t want my mom to be too pissy,” he says, shoving his hands up into his warm sleeves and starting off to his home again. He wracks his brain for what could have caused the change, what may have been said to trigger it.

He gets home as fast as he can, his heart feeling as if it’s beating up into his throat. It’s not from fear necessarily. Only adrenaline. His body knows that what he’s about to do is impulsive. But heck, impulsive is Bill Denbrough’s middle name. He pulls out his laptop as ceremoniously as Martin had retrieved his for his callout, but this post Bill is to type up is much different to that. iIt’s even different to how Martin asked Beverly out, though it’s similar in the public nature.

He pulls up the gossip site. It doesn’t feel right in his heart to have to post it here, but he doesn’t know how else to establish what he wants to with this. He starts typing.

Dear Blue Birb,

You’ve seemingly disappeared, and I miss you. I know our classmates just had a problem with asking someone out publicly, but I hope this is different. You once said that life is chaotic when you’re in the closet, all the opportunities to be outed or to reveal yourself. It’s scary, I get it.

It’s almost like living life on a ferris wheel. Up and down over and over, and sometimes you get stuck. In the tone of that, the carnival is coming to town on the opening night of the school musical. I’ll be there, on the ferris wheel. If you want to join me, ride’s on me.

Lovingly yours,

Big Brother

He sighs in relief after he gets it all typed up, changing the wording at least three times before he posts. It’s a gamble, the boy he’s trying to contact may not even see it. But it’ll be fully worth it just in the case of it working. Of him finally being united with him after these few months of messages back and forth.

He’s nearly jumping and shaking with anticipation for the days leading up to the carnival. Not only because of the show opening and stage fright, but because the idea of finally meeting Blue. Maybe it was a bad choice of days, but he hopes his plan and his actions will reward him.

The day finally comes. His costume is pretty simple, just a black suit and tie, but he sweats under the spotlights of the stage. Out of heat and also out of nervousness. He speaks his lines in a smooth voice, thankfully stutterless. Beverly steals the show as expected, her solo in the final song leaving an echoed note ringing beautifully though the auditorium. A standing ovation follows.

As soon as they finish their bows, Bill dashes backstage to pull on his jeans and his flannel over his t-shirt, running his hands through his hair in front of the mirror. He still has thick theatre makeup on his face but he elects to ignore it. They should be expecting an actor to show up with some evidence of acting after all. The cakey makeup could make a funny story.

He makes eye contact with Eddie as he leaves the theatre, waving enthusiastically. He’s in good spirits, better than he has been in days. The show just ended, and he gets to ride the ferris wheel, and best of all, he might finally see Blue in the flesh.

He pays for the ride tickets, spending about all the money he has, he didn’t specify a time for Blue to come, just after the show. And he won’t take any chances in having to stop too early. It’s common knowledge now to the entire school what Bill is waiting for, and there are already people around the ferris wheel but nobody on it, leaving it for Bill to do his honor in waiting, some people even have their phones out to film. Martin’s drama is long forgotten and the outing is no longer the news, now it’s all about Bill. The brave one who had the courage to leave himself the possibility of complete humiliation for the sake of love.

He steps onto the platform to the man who runs the ride, who looks sincerely perplexed about the plethora of teens at the ride usually mostly frequented by children. Bill holds out the entire roll of tickets to the man, who scratches his beard in his confusion.

“As many rounds as this will get me,” he says with a smooth grin. He’s probably never been this excited in his life. He’s finally getting his own love story, the kind he would have seen on Disney channel as a kid. It’s perfect. The sky is darkening and the crowd is growing as quickly as his smile. Goosebumps cover his arms as he gets into the seat, it rocks back and forth with his weight. This is it.

The ride makes it’s first circle. Classmates cheer and take pictures and videos. Finally a wholesome story for their social media. Two rounds done and no Blue yet. Three and the peers start to quiet down, the time taking some of the excitement from them, teens so impatient that they get their main entertainment from seven second videos played in succession.

It keeps turning and turning, slowly getting more lonely and pathetic up there. It’s a while before his tickets run out, but they do. Everyone is surprised when Martin runs up to the platform. “I’m Blue, it’s me!” he shouts dramatically.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Bill sighs, this is embarrassing. Martin has been blackmailing him for about forever, even if he was Blue he wouldn’t be with him. It all makes sense when he speaks again.

“I am, but this is just sad, take my tickets, good luck,” the boy says, obviously finally feeling the guilt of what he did. He presses the bundle against the man running the ride’s chest without looking before walking away, beating his hand against his chest. “We believe in you Billy!”

Bill starts going up in another round of the ferris wheel’s circle. Everyone stands silently until a dark haired boy parts his way through the crowd. He stands before the seat Bill is in when the ride comes to a stand still. “Can I sit here?” Stan asks, his hands buried deep in his pockets.

“I’m waiting for someone,” Bill says softly, flabbergasted. He can hardly look into Stan’s deep brown eyes.

“I know,” Stan says, a small half smile on his lips. He sits in the cart right next to Bill. “Are you disappointed it’s me?” he asks, scared because Bill hasn’t said anything yet, only stared on in surprise.

“No, not at all,” Bill says, his eyes still looking into Stan’s. “You deserve a great love story too,” he says, letting his hand find Stan’s jaw, putting his lips against his. It’s nothing like he’s ever felt before. It feels right. Like two puzzle pieces have found their home.

[juryokv-blog]

five times kissed / kanata and kaoru

*     five times kissed     /     @crystliz

i.

it’s awkward   &   clumsy like most first kisses tend to be.   the reason being different than that of nerves   &   budding feelings   &   rather the pressure to make this look real.   faking it is easier said than done   &  kaoru’s stressing out here   !   this is all for nothing if it’s not convincing   &   he’s having trouble getting over the way souma stares sharper daggers than usual at him since they’ve announced their   ‘relationship’   like he’s just waiting for a slip up or the way sena basically scoffed at how tense   &   . .   un-couple like they seem to be.

so   . .   he has to step up his game,   hands at kanata’s face drawing him in until they’re close enough for lips to slot together in a less than skillful manner.   (   it’s definitely not his best work   &   the other’s lack of experience doesn’t help either.   )   the train-wreck of a kiss only lasts momentarily before kaoru’s retreating,   face heating over the fact that he just did that with his fake boyfriend in public   &   it wasn’t anything to brag about either.     ❛     i                  ❜     there’s a sense that he should say something regarding his actions,   but the blonde finds himself at a loss for words at the sheer embarrassment of the situation.   he opts for clearing his throat instead,   hand slipping into kanata’s once more   &   coaxing him along to finish this date.     ❛     let’s   . .   go.     ❜

ii.

❛     look,   kanata   . .     ❜     ahh   . .   how is he supposed to bring this up casually   ?   it’s sort of uncomfortable,   but they couldn’t keep up like they have been   &   this isn’t just about kanata’s own inexperience either,   kaoru’s having issues with the whole pretending thing.   he’s no actor   &   it’s hard to be natural when they’re fake in every sense.   they need   . .   practice   !   . .   or something.     ❛     if   -   if we really want this to be convincing then we need to  . .   work on some��  . .  stuff.   like,   uh   -   kissing.   why don’t we,   um   . .     ❜     kaoru can literally feel himself dying right now.   he can’t help but think how much simpler this would be is kanata were a girl instead of a boy                         even a stranger over a friend,   but there’s no helping it   &   they’ve got to figure this out.

❛     here   . .     ❜     voice is small to mask lacking confidence in tone,   scooting towards the other boy   &   leaving hesitance behind.     ❛     just relax   &   do what feels right.   okay   ?     ❜     he’s somehow managed to get a lid on his nerves long enough for a hand to come to kanata’s neck.   there’s a loose smile on kaoru’s face as he looks at the other boy for signs of uneasiness or apprehension.   above anything,   it’s kanata’s comfort that matters most,   isn’t it   ?   so he eases into this,   less rushed than their first as lips press soft against the pair before him.   it’s relieving how painless it is this time,   sighing into warmth.   

kaoru would never overstep though,   keeping this simple   &   moving back just far enough to search kanata’s face for an indication of   . .   content   ?   something like that.     ❛     better   ?     ❜

iii.

it’s always endearing watching kanata fawn over the fish inside the marine life club room.   kaoru started attending activities more frequently since he’s announced to the world that he’s dating the oddball,   that being part of the couple image.   but despite that itself,   it’s almost cute the way kanata   ‘bubble bubbles’   between tanks feeding   &   tending to the fish inside,   (   as long as he ignores the way the club captain so mercilessly says they’re going to eat their scaled friends soon.   )   &   kaoru’s having fun.

the most amusing aspect might just be the way souma can get so riled up so quickly just by being in kaoru’s presence.   it’s even easier now that he’s with kanata,   their junior so blatantly disapproving of their relationship   &   maaaaybe kaoru’s made a game of being extra affectionate with his supposed boyfriend to get a rise out of souma.   (   yeah,   it’s a lot of fun.   )

❛     heeeeeey,   kanata.    ❜     arm slips around the boy’s waist,   interrupting whatever task he’s in the middle of   &   bringing him closer.   there’s a smile all too smug resting on face as he kisses kanata’s cheek.     ❛     why don’t you leave the rest to souma-kyun here   &   pay attention to me instead   ?   i’m lonely too,   y’know.     ❜     one day kaoru is actually going to be cut down for his instigating,   but he thinks it might be worth it seeing the way the second year’s face goes red.

iv.

what compelled kaoru to invite kanata over for dinner with his family is beyond him.   it’s not as if his family are the ones they’re trying to convince   &   kaoru knows better than to have any expectation when it comes to the people of his house.   but kanata is dear to him   &   there’s some pathetic part of him still searching for approval of any kind even if he’s aware it’ll never come.   while his siblings could play nice for the sake of company,   his old man is set in his ways   &   a nice evening is too much to ask for.   (   kaoru wishes his mom was here.   she would have loved kanata as much as he                      )   he can’t finish that thought nor acknowledge the way his heart feels like it’s compressing in chest.

soft voice snaps him out of whatever despairing trance he’d been in,   realizing they’ve must have been walking aimlessly in silence now for a while.   ah   . .   how embarrassing.   kaoru feels melancholy prickling inside,   but kanata’s here beside him   &   he doesn’t want to burden him anymore than he already has with this mess of a night.     ❛     haaa   . .   kanata’s worried about me,   huh   ?     ❜     he stops in his tracks,   body shifting to face the other.   kaoru’s got a smile on his face that’s all too forced   &   unconvincing   &   it almost hurts to pretend everything’s fine when he feels like the world is swallowing him whole.   yet he can’t bring himself to bother kanata with feelings he can’t even put into words.

kaoru reaches up,   fingers brushing through blue bangs   &   curling against the side of head.   he takes a moment,   gaze holding with kanata’s own as if he could persuade him with look alone before leaning forth to press a kiss to kanata’s forehead.     ❛     i’m fine,   promise.     ❜

v.

the aquarium is one of the first places he promised to take kanata on a date,   yet it’s taken kaoru this long to actually bring him here.   it’s not as if he’s intentionally been putting it off,   there’s just   . .   a lot of memories held in this place.   he wants this to be special   &   he feels like they’re at a place now that this will actually mean something because   . .   this stopped being fake long ago,   didn’t it   ?   at least that’s what it is to kaoru,   even if it’s only pretend for the other.   somewhere along the line being with kanata became natural   &   he’s not brave enough to admit he’s scared for the time to come when they have to stop.

so he doesn’t focus on that,   only on the former beside him   &   how beautiful he looks with the shades of blue reflecting from the water behind glass surrounding them.   (   he’s breathtaking   &   kaoru feels his heart jump to his throat.   )    ❛     kanata   . .     ❜     he almost feels selfish,   calling out to the latter to take his attention away from the fish he loves so much   &   have him look only at him.   when kanata’s gaze does meet his own there’s a sudden surge of nerves,   reluctance building inside.   mouth opens to say something,   but it’s fruitless.   kaoru still doesn’t have the words to say,   just like that day before.  

he takes action instead,   moving in to steal a kiss in his own greed.   maybe this will be enough to convey emotions he can’t say himself   &   if not,   then   . .   maybe that’s for the better. 

[hopelessguardian-blog]

// drops ma url and dabs away to the speed of light

My muse’s opinion of your muse

W - Which muse —

This is cheating, but! I’ll chose

LysxDaria. Of course, my sport girl thinks highly of this strange classmate she mistook for a ghost and not in a hundred years would have seen him dating a girl like her. If there’s something she’s grateful that has happened in her life that seemed to go into a dark path—that has to be MEETING Lysander.

She thinks he’s someone reliable, dependable, charismatic, charming—trillions of positive things.

ZenxIg. Zen is simply in love with every gesture Ignis makes, with every single time she presses the tip of her pencil to trace a figure, a sketch, a finished drawing. He’s simply mesmerized and breathless whenever he thinks about her or sees her.

Zen is in love with Ignis and truly sees her as his soulmate.

Oz&Vicky. Even though they have a long road ahead, Oz is quite fond of this weird monster girl he befriended and doesn’t mind being dragged against his will, at this rate he only pretends to be pissed for the sake of it but he truly enjoys spending time with her and doing shenanigans together.

But, on the other hand, Oz also has a crush on this franken girl and will never bring it up. Content with their friendship.

Yenien&Clara. Where would Yenien begin with this? He basically adopted this human girl and has tried, believe him he has, to give her everything she wanted. The incubus, regardless of how unstable his shape used to be, wanted to be saved and to save someone too.

Clara is someone Yenien wouldn’t hesitate to die for once more, it’s his very own child. He saw her grow up from a scared yet brave kid to a strong and powerful woman, he’s a proud parent even though he’s seen as a brother.

My opinion of your muse

I literally love every muse you write, even those I don’t even interact with. I love how you bring life to each one of these individuals and do your best, write their stories, their own paths, decisions, headcanons—just everything because it’s so well-thought and meaningful.

I am not sure whether I have a favorite, there are too many to chose.

I also ADORE when you get carried away rambling about one specific muse, and even though sometimes I don’t understand, I keep asking questions and becoming invested too. Way too invested sometimes (coughmeaddingjackfrostsooncoUGH).

But I chose these because: the way your portray Lysander is so soft and caring, tender and gentleman like. There are many traits that resamble canon, but so many that make him utterly unique and even more fascinating.

Ignis has to be one of those characters I hold dear and close to my heart because she was one of the first oc of yours I met, I remember how many shenanigans we had back at dA. Drawings of her I have made and how much I have improved and how different she looks with each passing year.

I like Vicky and how problematic you have made her albeit we need more interactions but you tell me headcanons and scenarios that it feels as if I have known her for my whole life.

Clara is also one that I hold dear because of how much of a strong connection she has with Yenien. We had these two ocs that had no one, and from one day to another, they became family. He taught how to dance what she loves the most, she helped him with finding his own happiness with Janisse. There’s such sweetness between them.

My favorite part about our muse’s interactions

T - This is hard, uh, well I love their dynamics, truth be told.

I find interesting how Daria struggles with her mental health and tries to open up more to Lysander, I like how she is trying for once not to do something that might affect everyone, I like how she becomes stubborn and childish around him because honestly Daria only behaved that way towards Daniel since she was an emotionless girl in the past.

I admire how Zen after finding one person who comprehends him so perfectly finds hope in not giving up, finds a strength he didn’t know he had. I find worth to follow how he doesn’t give up on his dreams and how much he craves for this future with her against all odds, he keeps fighting for it.

I like how goofy and childish Oz can be around Vicky because the way I see him, is someone usually calm and composed. Not giving too many facts about himself away, just general questions about what type of monster he is or if he has done his homework.

I love how Yenien insists on being her father and Clara brushing it off as brother, I love seeing them behaving like a single father and his child. I love how overprotective he can become without cutting her freedom, I love how childish he was when Clara fell for Cedric but still chose to help them both because that’s how much he wants for Clara to be happy.

A wish/plot I want to write for our muses

LysxDaria. Alright, hear me out. We talked and joked about Daria giving up her own dreams to join an orchestra to live with Lysander in the farm, but I honestly cannot get it out of my head.

So I legit want a thread of them being extremely domestic in the farm.

ZenxIg. A ROYALTY AU THO—Zen is the perfect unhappy prince with an abusive family that only wants power, he’d be CINDERELLA HERE. ALRIGHT. HE’D BE CINDERELLA. For he falls in love with Ignis in one night.

Oz&Vicky. TBH, I keep joking about Oz and his crush on Vicky but I want a thread where Vicky has a crush on ANY other monster and stops spending time with him as much as before, which leads Oz to think ‘oh so this wasn’t just a crush, I am legit in love with her’ yet he still doesn’t make any attempt and helps her with her lovelife.

Therefore, ending heartbroken,  devasted and crying somewhere outside the campus.

Yenien&Clara. I…want Yenien taking Clara to the city he was born into before unexpectedly ending somewhere across the ocean, the place he crossed paths with Clara and chose to help her.

I want Yenien to speak fondly about his past, about every street and corner and how much everything has changed. I want Yenien to break down crying when he can spot the alley he lived and collapsed on, died ever so slowly.

I want him to show weakness, not always this puppy personality of his. I want him to show how he was BEFORE dying and turning into an incubus, you know.

A way your muse has made mine better.

b o i

LysxDaria. For once, Daria has a will to live.

She sees a future with Lysander after highschool since he light up her world, he pulled her out of her darkness with every caring gesture. From their wonderful friendship to their undying love towards one another.

He is helping Daria become a better person, because she is inspired by him and wants to become someone better and worthy of being his companion since he doesn’t want Lysander to be with someone who struggles with so much.

She is also learning to speak rather than running away from her troubles which can cause her to behave recklessly, he can read her with such ease and has the hability to say just the right words she needed to hear to be encouraged.

ZenxIg. This ship speaks for itself.

Zen needed someone like Ignis on his life, someone to rely on, someone to tell his hopes and dreams. He didn’t need someone to fix his life for him, he didn’t want someone to magically fix his problems.

Zen needed someone to tell him ‘hey, you can do it. I’ll be with you no matter what’ and that’s exactly what Ignis made him see. Ignis changed him so much to the point he even started to properly take care of himself, because he has a bit of time to spare and make proper meals rather than eat something bought or bread.

Zen wanted someone to love him for who he is, to see something beyond a pretty face. To see a human with his own traumas and fears, struggling with a facade to not araise questions.

Oz&Vicky. Well, Oz pre-meeting the four was a quiet individual who didn’t want to interact with others unless necessary. It was less problematic not to get involved with anyone. But then he met everyone, and then he became close to so different individuals and closer than anyone else to Vicky that he started to develop a personality of his own. To experiment and toy with this concept of free will he chose to ignore for so long.

Yenien&Clara. He used to be, such a lost soul in a modern world. 

He had been dead for so long, and was supposed to remain that way until he suddenly was brought back. And he was as scared as he was confused.

But then he saw this little girl, struggling to live and survive much like he had been. Except this was a little girl, he used to had a family until they died. So, in a way, he did have it better and had a need to protect her. While also, taking care of himself.

Because Yenien never saw his life as worthy, but for this one time, he did. He saw that he needed to be alive to help this little girl survive—eventually, Yenien started to become a better person with her help, to learn about humans, about how much has changed, about dancing to teach her. 

To learn to live and move on from his past.

[littlethingsaround]

Its okay to grieve.

Eversince Lai's death last year, nobody really talks about her later. Not in the chat, not in any circle we're getting along. While I keep things in for myself, missing her laugh, stare, tears, hope and joy in some of my sleepless nights.

When Lai was dead, I felt by bone crushes to the ground, and got fatigue for days. I couldn't find a reason to eat, and not brave enough to keep my head up when I pray.

Nothing can change this, ma. Nothing can bring her back even for a 10-seconds hug. Nothing.

So when the very first time I got the message from Pak Jon about Salsa, my heart said. "This is it! This is how you pour your love forward to Lai, ma. Through helping people like her! Contribute to them by intentionally do it for her. For the sake of your both love to Allah!" And that's all that I did. I pour my love forward to her, singing for Salsa everytime I visited, eat with her, watching her sleep. I was there, accompanying her to the hospital for the check ups. Feel her worriness around whenever she started to smell the hospital's scent and endless crowd sound while helding her hand tightly.

When we were working on Salsa's campaign, I went to Lai's house. Holding my tears while mama hugged me thightly, saying : "This all that I can do, mama. Isn't she (Lai) lovely? She moved my heart to make act on people who suffers. This is because of Allah loves her, mama. Allah wants me to be her hand of helping people who feel the same.." Mama cried, I cried. Ayah also, cried.

Then Salsa's death news came as a flash. And again, that bone-less feeling ate me alive. I saw her at the orphanage ASAP, seeing the funeral, accompany Pak Jon in the car to the burrial. I was so weak, my body was all trembled. I saw that beautiful face for the last time. My tiny little star came back home to His evergreen blessings and love.

The funding of Sa's surgery is still there. We then got another baby who's in need. A little Farel. A dear champ, fighting his malnutrition and pneumonia. We went to the hospital, hearing the story and of course, listening to those tears and heavy heart--then went home. On my way home, I suddenly thought about Cha. I didn't know what triggered me so, I just had a video call on the car. She screamed there, saying it out loud. "Maaa how could you know? I'm pregnant agaiiin!" she said happily. "This baby Kei is about 5 weeks now. I'm soo happy, last loss was badly impacted me. And this one is coming after the storm.." She smiled widely that this tiredness of visiting the hospital was all gone :)

"Baby Kei will be surely loved.." I said aloud. It was one of the most heartwarming news I've got in December, just some few weeks after meeting Salsa for the last time.

But then 3 weeks later.. Farel, our little champ, had gone. I was there when we witness the loss that this family felt. We hear their screams and pain. Trying to play with the little sister that almost lost her mother who've drown in grieve. Farel went there, after Salsa. After Lai.

On the way home at 10 PM, I hugged myself tightly on the car. I looked at my work partner who just be. That boneless feeling come again, and slowly I asked. "How could you be okay with all of this, and why am I feeling this grieve over all the loss that we've seen? You were on the funeral too, you bring Salsa's body to the ambulance, you saw Farel too as I am. But how can you be this just good?" He said it, coldly. "That's because you work with all your heart, ma. You helped them using all the love, you assumed they're your little sister, tiny little brother. So you feel loss too, as if a part of you was taken-- so far away. As for me, I think it's just a job that I have to do. I do grieve, but it doesn't impact me that much.." I paused. "Loss, is one of the risk of love." something whispered.

At some day I rethink of it, all over again. Should I started to work heartlessly so I don't feel pain whenever bad things happen? But how can I not love all this little children, how can I give and help with less love? Allah is All-Just. There is always two side, and choose what's bring the tranquility to the heart. So I think I keep going as it was, and will always be.

Yet it's getting tense, whenever I started to pray. The faces are gradually added, living me questioning the path that I'll took. Will I be happy in the hereafter if I do this? Will Allah, Lai, Sa, and Rel be proud if I do things or so? Of course I had days when I wanted to get rid of those feelings, but I then realize that love never dies. Even if the people has gone, it doesn't dead. Love stays. And love grows love.

Today, Allah took one of the most loved too. Allah took Kai, bringing her in peace to the endless love in His side. Kai is now gathering with all the buddies, smiling down from the sky at me and this crushing, boneless feeling. I'm not saying this is easy, compare to all the grieve before. But I can say, I think I started to stop questioning why. And I think I started to accept that I am this sad, I am this tremble, and it's okay. It's because I love her and her parents so much. It's because I knew their struggle, and how much I missed to meet Kai since the day 1 Cha said that she was pregnant.

I am grieving, it multiplies, and it's okay. I am totally sad and weak, I feel a chronic fatigue by the news, and it's okay. This news makes me miss Lai, sa, and rel a bit more and it's okay.

It's okay to grieve, and to know that not all people understand how it feels, or what it can cause to those who left behind. It's okay with one thing : the companion of Allah. I ask Him for hugging me a little tighter this time. I ask Allah to stay with me in this silence heart a little longer than before. It's okay to grieve and sad, if only I feel them all with the companion of The Love : Allah Himself.

Oh Allah, maybe days won't get easier. If this heart feel a bit heavier, please stand by me. Please hug this fragile shivering heart and comfort it with your presence. With your mercy, blessings, and all the gentleness that You are.

Oh Allah, please allow us to reunite one day. Smiling without feeling pain, seeing each other in the eternal beautiful jannah. Oh Allah, please.. please be gentle with all of them there. Tell them that I love them. I hope You see me trying my best here, in my not-so-much time left. I hope each of the seconds create a barakah, here and in the hereafter.

Thankyou for all the comfort that You have given me, Allah. I hope we''ll meet soon insyaAllah.

[luffysmeat]

Headcanons on the Strawhats first kiss with their crush ft. lots of angst on both sides?

Chopper and Brook are missing in these headcanons ^^; I hope you don’t mind? I hope you enjoy this, I’m sorry for the wait! (a bit long, sorry!)

Luffy

“Are you and idiot?!”, Luffy yells when he sees you jumping infront of him, fully taking the attack of the enemy. “[Name]!!”, he just need to place a punch with a Haki-fist to take down the man that hurt you

He runs to towards that man sent you flying, you just landed in a pile of rocks, you’re bleeding and you’re sure you have at least two bones broken

“[Name]!!”, he kneels beside you and is scared to touch you. “What the fuck where you thinking?!”

“I wanted to protect you, you stupid!”, you cough out some blood. Ah, that’s not good. “You were distracted! He was going to stab you with that ducking sword!”, you cry in pain when you try to get up

“Don’t move!”, Luffy punches a rock near him. “Why did you do that?! You could have died! Are you out of your mind?!”

“I would die for my captain!”

“no! I don’t want anyone to die! Don’t you say that! I need to protect you because I love you!“

You widen your eyes and don’t say anything else and he’s thankful about it because he’s going to explode if you say something right now. “I love you more than I love everyone else, [Name]!”

You can’t help but start to cry, covering your eyes with your hand “Luffy you’re so stupid! I’ve been trying to show you how much I like you and you just come and-

You uncover your eyes and open them widely, feeling Luffy’s lips against yours. You hold your breath, but then let out a soft sigh through your nose, letting yourself being kissed and kissing Luffy back

He finally pulls apart and those that thing where he caresses your cheekbone with his thumb, he’s smiling down at you. “Don’t you die, [Name]”

You snort. “Is that an order, captain?”

“Shihihihi! It is! Now, I’ll bring Chopper right here, don’t move”, he says before he starts to run away

You frown when he starts to run back to you “what’s the ma-”, he kisses you softly

“I’ll be right back, don’t move… just… wait here”, when he runs away again you giggle.

“Idiot”

Zoro

“Zoro, we’re fucking lost”, you say, looking up at the dark sky, he turns around to see you and raises an eyebrow. His sassy expression making you angrier

“And you’re saying it is my fault?”, he asks, crossing his arms above his chest

“It is! We have a map right here but you said we needed to go to the other way! Why would we choose to go to the other way when the map says the correct way!!”, you scream, throwing the map Nami had made for you both

“Shut up already!!! You could follow that stupid map instead of following me!”, he’s getting angry too

“are you out of your mind?! What if something happens to you you stupid… Marimo!!!”

“Ma-?! You’re the only crazy person here! Why would you worry about me?! I can take care of-

“You’re so stupid, Zoro!! I worry about you because, first of all, I am your fucking nakama and, secondly, because I fucking like you, dammit! Jesus Christ, I’m sure even Luffy noticed by now how much I lik-

You jump when he takes your face between your hands and open your eyes as much as you can when he presses his soft lips against yours, but you’re angry and you’re a drama-queen/king so you’re hitting his chest with your fists, trying to push him away

He holds you by the waist, deepening the kiss until you surrender to him

You suddenly feel him smirk in the kiss. “So this is the way to shut you up?”, he whispers, nuzzling your nose with his

“don’t you think you can do that every time we have an argument, you stupid-”

Smoooooch

“okay, now we need to find a way back to the ship”

“Stop doing that! And I’ll find a way back to the ship. You just follow me”, you say, walking again and holding his hand, dragging him with you

Zoro smirks, checking out your butt, “well this way’s better~”

Nami

“I can protect myself!!”, you whine

“Nami, please! I know you can protect yourself! I just thought-

“That because I get scared easily I can’t be strong?!” You really don’t have idea what had got into Nami

“Of course not!”, you just wanted to protect her because- just because she was going to die because of that fucking bullet, for God’s sake!

“Then What?!”, and if she can get angry you can get angry too

“what do you mean ‘then what’?! That bullet was going to get through your head! I protected you because I care for you! God, Nami you’re so naive! Don’t you see I care about you?! I couldn’t-

You widen your eyes when she grabs your face and kisses you deeply, your cheeks turn red, but you close your eyes and kiss her back

“Why do you get so angry?”, you whisper once the kiss ends and she presses her forehead against yours

“Because I like you and I want to look brave. I don’t want you to protect me, I want to fight beside you”, you smile and peck her lips

“We can protect each other as we fight side by side, you know?”, he hums and nods a little

“By the way, that first kiss will cost you 20,000,000 berries~”

“what?!”

Usopp

“HUH?!”, you can’t believe your ears. “How’s my fault you missed that shot?!!”

“Because you were standing too close to me!!!”

“You told me to stay close so I can help you if everything came out wrong!!”

“You’re so dramatic!”, he yells, walking away from you. 

“Where the fuck are you going, Usopp?! You can’t just leave like that! Why do you always fight with me? Why are you always screaming at me?”, you see him tensing his shoulders before turning around again to look at you

“I just can’t stand you so close to me, [Name]. You sick me up I wish you weren’t part of the crew”

“But whay have I done to you?! I’m always nice to you! And you are the one that always tell me to keep you company while you’re working on new projects and-

You didn’t notice him getting close to you until he grabs you by your shoulders and presses his lips against yours.

You are very surprised, so you don’t kiss him back and he pulls his face away

“I am sorry”, he whispers and he touches the tip of his nose against yours. “I am sorry you just- you just make me feel so many things that I get overwhelmed”

“You really wish I wasn’t part of the crew?”, you whisper back and your hands take a hold of his arms too. 

“No, I do not. I’m really stupid. I am very thankful you are part of the crew, actually”

“Are you?”, he smiles warmly at you and nods. “And you like me?”

“I very much like you, yes”, you nod and lean your face a bit closer to him, going for his lips. “I’m sorry”, he whispers when he feels the tenderness of your mouth touching his

“I like you too, Usopp and I forgive you”

Her giggling is worth the debt

Sanji

You roll your eyes, looking at Sanji flirting with yet another woman in this new town you guys just arrived

He said he needed some ingredients and vegetables and whatnot and he asked you to come with him, but ir you knew he’d be acting like this you would say no!

“You are ridiculous”, you say while Sanji is having a nosebleed because a girl just kissed his cheek. He looks at you with those ridiculous heart eyes and that’s more than you can take “You know what? I’m leaving you on your own, Sanji. If you want to flirt so much I don’t know why you invited me”

He’s not so happy anymore when you are suddenly walking away “wait! [Name]-chwan! Don’t go-

You can’t hear him anymore as soon as you start to run around the corner, however a few minutes later you just remember you don’t know this town and, oh surprise, your lost

“Great”, you growl and try to walk back the way you come from when suddenly someone is grabbing you from behind, covering your nose with a cloth that smelled weirdly

You kick and move your arms around, but you’re getting weaker and weaker due to the cloth on your nose and mouth

“Oi, you bastard!”, you’re to dizzy to understand the situation but you definitely recognize Sanji’s voice, when you’re free again you suppose he just kicked the soul out of that man

“[Name], are you okay?”, he catches you im his arms before you hear the floor

“why are you here? Leave me alone!”, you say, trying to come back to your senses, anger taking you first. “Why do you always flirt with those girls?! In front of my face!”

Maybe you’re just a bit jealous because he doesn’t flirt with you and, of course, you like him

“why can’t I flirt? Do you have any problem with that?”, you look up at him and your head spins

“Yes I fucking do! Because I like you and you just flirt with everyone on my face and-

You squeak when his lips are suddenly pressed against yours, you mumble and try to push him away, but then melt in the kiss

When you pull apart, he’s looking back at you and is smiling softly “i like you too, [Name]-chwan, that’s why I don’t flirt with you because I thought you’d notice right away

“You’re so silly”, you whisper and kiss him again. “I’m still dizzy… this is not a dream right?”, he chuckles

“I dream came truth, I would say”

“Yeah… me too”

Robin (cute Robin doesn’t like to fight, so angsty![Name])

You hear her chuckle behind you, "are you still angry, [Name]?”, she asks, poking your cheek with one of her fruit’s arms, you flinch at the sudden touch and turn around to look at her

“I am! Why do you always make those jokes! They’re scary!”, she giggles, covering her mouth and walking closer to you

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that bothers you that much”, you blush when she smiles innocently at you

“it’s because  you are always saying that we-

Your cheeks burn bright red and your knees go weak when she leans down and kisses you, at first you don’t know what to do, but when you start to actually kiss her back she cups your cheeks, caressing your cheekbones with her warm thumbs

“I’m sorry, I’ll try not to make such jokes… too much”, you just nod and then frown. “What is wrong?”

“You… like me?”, she giggles again and nods.

“Yes I like you very much”, you smile, wrapping her arms around her.

“I like you too, Robin”, you notice the light blush on her cheeks and you can’t help but kiss her there, that earns you a thousands of arms wrapping you tighter against her and you laugh

“Ro- Robin, can’t breath! You’re crushing me!”

“Oh? Maybe your eyes will pop out of your head?”

“Roooobiiiiin!”, you whine and she laughs, leaving yet another kiss on your mouth 

Franky

You know Franky woke up a bit moody because he’s sending you nasty looks and not talking to you

But He only seems to act like that towards you? 

“It’s everything alright, Franky?”; you ask him, you don’t your nakama to feel upset to you, especially Franky, so you have a glass of soda and a sandwich you asked Sanji to make for Franky “I brought you lunch, since you said you were busy to join us at the table.

He leavs a hammer in the floor and looks at you with a angry expression and you gulp, “should I leave it here?”, you point at a free spot on a desk, not daring to actually put the tray on top in case that pisses him more. 

“Yes, there it’s good. Thank you”, he says and you just nod

“Is there… anything bothering you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… you seem a bit angry with me… so I wanted to know if-

“The world doesn’t spin around you, [Name]”, you bite your tongue, surprised by the venom on his voice

“I- no, I didn’t mean it that wa-

“Do you think you can come and act all cute and nice and get everything you want?”

“What are you talking about?! I just wanted to bring you something so you don’t sterve! I was just worried about you. Why are you saying just things?”

“Am I hurting you?”

“You surely are, Franky”

“Do you hate me?”

“… I do not hate you. Even if you say so, even if you think so. I don’t hate you. I can’t hate you”

“And why’s that?”

“Because- because I like you”, you feel his cold methalic hand lifting your face a little. 

“Why are you saying that? What if something happens to me during our trip? What if I die?”, he asks and you just shrug your shoulders

“Why are you being mean with me?”

“I want you to stay away from me, I don’t want you to suffer if something happens to me and I don’t want to suffer if something happens to you”, he can’t help but smile when he sees the sparkle in your eyes when you hear his voice.

“You like me too?”, he nods. “Please, don’t push me away, Franky. I enjoy to be around you a lot. I- I’ll get stronger so you will not have to worry about something happening to me”, he laughs and uses his extra hand to caress your cheek. 

“You gotta be suuuper strong, then. There are a lot of adventures waiting for us”, you smile widely at him and he can’t help anymore, he leans down and kisses you softly.

You closes your eyes and kiss him back, wrapping your arms around his neck and giggling when he carefully grabs you, picking you up. 

“Suuuuuuuuuuuper kiss, [Name]!”, he seriously thinks that blush on your cheeks is the most beautiful thing in the world, maybe it is a second place, right after your smile. 

[ifiwantmagicinmylife]

About the Shannara finale & season in general

This is gonna be long so…

First of all, i wanna be very clear. I’m not trying to spread hate for the show. I love this show. i would never say anything hateful cause i appreciate how this show is and how it wants to be, and i don’t want it to be cancelled due to negativity. I’ve just been frustrated about it…at least lets say since the finale, and I’m writing this to try to get it out of my system.

First of all, I’m a wilretria shipper. since day 1 Eretria&Wil have been my babies. so I’m sure you can see where some of my frustration comes from.

Second. From day one my favourite characters have been Eretria, Allanon and Ander (see why my frustration?)

Eretria: I love Ivana. when she won the Goya award i clapped like crazy. And then turned our Eretria was awesume. Anything anyone would want to be. Strong, an amazing fighter, brave, loyal….and as we also learn, kind and even sweet.

Allanon: i love Manu since i don’t know when, so him being the druid guy…i knew it was gonna be badass. and then it was. and i couldn’t love Allanon more.

Ander: the cool friendly uncle. helping niece to run the race, going to get her at the party like “omg girl you look stunning, that’s ma niece” and then talking relationships with her. I JUST LOVED HIM. and then he also made impossiblefor me to focus on tragic moments. i don’t tag him “the ‘dat ass’ elf” for no reason…

Well, so far you can see season 2 has not given me happiness in this matter. 1 became ashes and the other a waterfall (sort of)

What frustrates me about these is, well..the books. I still haven’t read them, cause i was waiting for the end of the season, but i read a couple of things, from which i got that Ander&Allanon probs both died on the 3rd book. Ok, i can deal with that but...I can’t? cause I thought this season was filling a gap between book 2 and 3. but that’s ok i guess. follow the book way too early.

But what gets me about this is that then I can think or say, “ok, so i guess then they will also follow the book for Eretria and Wil, right? I mean…cmon. It doesn’t seem like that for now, but you know, that’s what a season 3 would be for”, but then people say “oh cmon, the tv show doesn’t have to follow the book, stop with the books”. But the thing is, season 1 was very much like the book from what I’ve heard. I remember reading in the Nerdist website they said they wanted to keep it very similar to the book, that they only made Eretria have more depth and do something more than FALL IN LOVE WITH WIL AND FOLLOW HIM AROUND (sorry, dunno why that capbloq itself…oh wait, i do) So, they are gonna follow and even make happen ahead of time things that happen in the book, but others..neeeh. ok, that frustrates me.

And one other thing, since i’m talking about my ship. I feel wilretria shippers have been mostly completely silent this season. I don’t think we have created any drama regarding Lyria. We just kept getting blows and letting that relationship happen without saying a thing. Because we fear if we say anything we will be called “homophobic”, get hate and things like that. And it is frustrating cause we aren’t voicing ourselves because we aren’t dicks, and we are letting everyone enjoy their ship, but this may ruin any chance of our ship happening if they think we don’t care. And we are seeing it getting even harder with the Mareth thing. So i want you to understand, i don’t care if Eretria has a gf, she is bi so she can have all the gfs she wants. But shutting out Wil completly as a possibility cause yes...no. I love Wil and Eretria even since before i watched the show. I do care, so much.

Now about season 2 in general:

PROS

Garet Jax or “jarjar gax” how i like to call him for funsies. total badass. I wished we could have know what was his past entirely cause it seemed interesting, dammit.

Mareth: She was cute and sassy, a magic user in a different way we had seen, which was cool! and then, related to Allanon, which is great considering we also know nothing about Allanon, or Mareth’s mom. So nice, she could be anything and take us anywhere

And on that note, something I’ve always appreciated about this show, from Tilton, to Allanon, to the gardener, to the background actors, to the rovers & elf hunters...this world really seems like a real post-apocaliptic world cause there’s people from all etnicities. these season some more in leads. good show

This stupid season made me love Wil. That lil bitch annoyed me so much. But he is too cute. And we saw him in his lows and in his highs. using the magic unwisely, hugging the hell out of Eretria when it turned out she wasn’t dead (this poor kid, i swear to god. a whole year thinking he lost Amberle and Eretria; the latest being his fault for leaving her behind). Also he made his peace with Allanon awww. And to be honest I love his death scene. It mirrored Amberle’s and now all our 3 heroes have died to save everyone (let’s not forget ma rover bleeding herself out, ok?) And thank whomever must be thanked, he isn’t dead. You can’t die when i start to love you, a-hole. tho that’s what this show does to me.

Eretria: We got to see where she comes from, what will be her challenges and how her loyalty to her friends is stronger and bigger than anyone could ever have thought. Also she was badass as always.

Ander. I mean, Ander is everything. anything with Ander was the best scene ever. dat ass. best king ever. bless. he also said Eretria is family and at this point I dunno if i want Eretria to marry Wil or him cause honestly “yes, i remember when i met your mom...i fell for her instantly. i mean, she kicked me in the face and let me unconcious, but..” is a great “meetcute” Also the threw that traitor down the waterfall omg my king is so fucking badass.

Allanon: i mean...pfft it’s allanon. everything about him is a pro, duh. Giving him a family and showing him caring for Wil was nice too. he is not a heartless guy. he loves all this crazy kids.

Bandon, Riga, Warlock lord: god, you bunch of asshoooles. i hate you all so muuuuch. Good bad guys :) The warlock lord became my hero when he de-headed Riga. you deserve it biiitch omgggg for Andeeeer. Then the Bandon thing...i mean...poor Bandon, but bitch, you had everyone occupied and Riga killed Ander. Then my new hero warlock lord killed that ship traitor Allanon (i was like that’s what you get! but then he was cursed and became ashes....and i was like, ok a bit too much) and then he did the other thing and i was disappointed on my new hero. i was all “i was rooting for youu” They all where awesume at being bad. is awesume having such great baddies

I can’t believe i almost forgot her

Ambertree: or Amberle, as you prefer. I really didn’t want her to be back for the sake of my ship. but I also did start crying when i saw her in the trailer. So i guess i love her too. And seeing her was so nice. I missed the elf princess. but stay as a tree please Amberle. (ps, also wtf amberle you too with the Mareth thing, i take it back, i hate everyone on this show)

CONS

Ander: Can you please explain to me what the hell has this poor thing done to deserve this shit? His brother dies. he becomes this depressed drinking ball of an elf and loses his gf. years later his dad, his bro, half of his goddamn castle, his ex he still loves die. ALL DIE. His niece becomes a tree. And he has to be king. Also Eretria kicked him in the face (i kind of ship it) And then we get to season 2 and the girl he is with s murdered (....i wasn’t on board of this anyway cause god Catania, you effed the Bandon inprisonment, didn’t ya. but if Ander my love was happy. but no. and then he gets murdered trying to save this girl (Eretria i’m never going to forgive you for being up to tell her to get up and run, but not to throw a knife and save my elf husband). and so the story of Ander ends. Being throw down the traitors waterfall, where no one can recover his body and give him the royal funeral he deserves. I will forever be bitter about this, i kid you not. #longlivetheking

Allanon: Again, my babies cant catch a break. He is trying to stop Bandon, turns out he has a daughter with his loved one and we don’t get to see them become dad and daughter. I had already accepted he was gonna die because i read someone saying “after what happens in book 3″ And then he drops that “you and mareth are ma ship” bomb. my brain: “oh you asshole how dare you to compare them with you and Pyria. You can die now, byeeeee” (i’m evil, i know).

Eretria: I feel this season didn’t do much for her. I guess she did all the development she could do in season 1. But i feel they mistreated her a lot. I get she has a girlfriend, or so, cause at some point she had broken up with her i think...but i feel the way they made her interact with Wil was just weird. The little times they interacted. that was annoying. (those two have so much chemistry they have to keep ‘em apart or we all would be arranging their wedding by the “welcome back, shorttips”) Eretria has always been in love with Wil, let’s be honest. We all saw her face the day Wil said “there is no us” or when she saw him kissing Amberle. We all know without Amberle in the picture things would be very different. Does no one really remember he was up for it the same day he met Eretria? and then some days after in the palace room? (also let me point out Eretria does love will cause to rob some stones she could have giving him an “Ander” and leave. but she didn’t. she stayed, and said would never call him shortips again). So this two at the very least had the hots for each other to begin with. Also let me remind you how Wil cried when Eretria died. He used the stones for something else than killing a demon for the first time to save her (if that doesn’t scream love, soulmates, endgame or whatever, i dunno what does) And this season, tho they have kept giving us sweet moments of the two, where we shippers kept our hopes high (the tree girl was gone, this was out moment), and we hoped to see THEM FALL IN LOVE AND GET TOGETHER (since its a space between books, you know)... and that’s why the complete anulation of this ship is so painful for some of us. We felt Amberle was some sort of puppy teenage love, and Eretria would be the true love woman for Wil....but no. anyway...a Shannara and a child of the Apocalypse. Good magic & (bad/good) magic. ancient kings blood, ancient humans blood. like honestly.

Wil: I’m not gonna blame the poor kid for being an emo and be mad at the world, cause his life went to shit last epi of last season (if not all season in general). And i honestly developed love for him this season. BUT...this thing about him and Mareth...I feel it came out of nowhere. They were just friends and then one day she makes eyes to him and he makes eyes to her? there wasn’t even a big thing where i could say, where there they realized they love each other...and out of nowhere they are the biggest love story eveeer. im sorry, no. i can’t. I get everyone loves them, but i...no. (again, i guess is the wilretria shipper in me who sees more past and more development in the relationship and that this was happening too quickly out of nowhere) (Also the pre-death kiss, that was i guess so romantic and adfghjklñ....kinda ruined the scene for me. like “oh ffs, die already, Wil!”*narrow*” was a thing that happened in my brain)

Others: I dont think I have much complains about the others. One of the only ones is Lyria’s storyline. i feel like the only thing i saw her do was mope and cry? and that one time she stood up to her mom, planned a wedding with Ander and once held a sword (which i feel they really exploded to make her look badass)...i feel like they made this character to be the love interest, and im sorry for it cause it could have been so much more. Also that “don’t wanna be a princess I’m running away but yas i wanna be queen” thing...does it even make sense for the person we were introduced to? also it was the fact that I had to buy into her love story with Eretria. When i saw in the trailer she was gonna have a gf i was like, oh no...more difficulties for my ship, but hey yes, let’s see what happened here. But then...i didn’t know anything about them? when did they meet? how long have they been dating? “where you go, i go”...where does that come from? how did i know what Lyria’s mom told Eretria about her saying that to everyone wasn’t true? Maybe my ship blinds me, but i feel this relationships started as if i started season 1 with will and Amberle frickfracking and then she becoming a tree and I’m supposed to be super sad, but i can’t I don’t know if it makes sense since i shipped Pyria and Allanon since moment 1 but that’s probably my “omg star crossed lovers, him staying young while she grows old, not seeing each other in 30 years shdfadlgfhañsla” loser heart Mareth: I was here for the magic kids friendship until it stopped being a friendship. now she is ruining my life. and i don’t appreciate it.

((me being annoying: also the blingbling palace was too much for me, omg did i miss Arborlon))

Ok, I think that is all. I know it seems like I didn’t like this season, but omg, i loved it. it was so intense all the time, and so many awesume fights, and some great new characters. Is just that I had hopes for my ship just to see them sinking more and more. at this point I’m Artax and my ship is more a submarine.

I can’t wait to see what they do in season 3 (and probably cry and hate everyone cause my ship sinks), but this show is too good to end forever in a “to be continued”. I want my babies back

and please show, stop getting people i love into #crispinskorner

[braincoins]

Title: Ragged Diagonal Fandom: “Voltron: Legendary Defender” Summary: No one wants Allura to marry Lotor, but she may have to out of a duty to her people and her bloodline. Ships: Shallura Warnings: Barely-edited, language Author’s Notes: "The line of life is a ragged diagonal between duty and desire." -William R. Alger

For the MAS server and especially our Overlord, @smolsarcasticraspberry ! Shiro's not technically Altean here, but the Magical part sure applies! Also, thanks to @materassassino for the beta! <3 (6102 Words - Also on AO3)

           Allura studied herself in the full-length mirror and tried not to cry. Everything about this felt wrong, but she was convinced it was right. It was the only thing she could do. It was what she must do. As the last princess of Altea, this was what was necessary. Her father’s voice rang in her ears, speaking to her of the necessity of sacrifice for a greater good. She bit her lip and bade her reflection not to cry. She would do what her people required of her, always.

           She smoothed her hands over herself in her mother’s wedding gown, the color of sunlit juniberries. Elegant, a touch old-fashioned (perhaps more than a touch after ten thousand years), but classically lovely. It felt like a sacrilege to wear it for this, but she had nothing else. She could remember the pictures Mother had shown her of her wedding day to then-Prince Alfor. She’d been radiant, clearly and obviously in love with her handsome groom, who was obviously doting upon her, smiling widely.

           Allura had foolishly assumed her own wedding day would be as happy as theirs had been.

           Don’t cry.

 7 Quintants Ago

           “What?” All the warmth in the room had been blasted away as she stared in disbelief at Coran. “You aren’t serious.”

           He cleared his throat and put his hands – and the missive in them – behind his back, standing straight and proper. She’d watched him do this a thousand times; he was hiding behind his role as Royal Advisor. Well, he wouldn’t have characterized it that way, but it was how she thought of it. “I am, unfortunately, quite serious, Princess.”

           “But… Lotor?” Lance made an ‘ew’ face from the seat at his station. “He’s so…”

           “Slimy,” Hunk finished for him.

           “And he’s Zarkon’s son!” Pidge reminded them all. Allura would’ve called the reminder unnecessary but clearly Coran was getting forgetful in his old age. “We can’t trust him!”

           “And what about Sh-…?”

           “Keith,” Shiro interrupted before the Red Paladin could finish the question. Allura couldn’t bring herself to look to the leader of Team Voltron. Even unfinished, Keith’s question had cut her the deepest.

           There was an attraction building to Shiro that she was getting hard-pressed to push aside. When she felt on the verge of collapse, he shored her up. When he laughed, she felt her heart soar. When it seemed like their task was impossible, he rekindled her hope. It was getting foolish to deny how much she cared for him.

           Which made Lotor’s offer of marriage all the more ludicrous. “Why would I even consider marrying the son of our most hated enemy? You don’t really believe his nonsense, do you?”

           “I don’t believe him when he says he’s ‘overcome with love for you’, but I can think of any number of reasons,” Coran replied. “Purely from a strategic view, if he’s willing to bring you inside the Galra Empire and give you access to their systems, it’d be a huge help.”

           “Ohhhh, so she agrees to marry him just to get in there, get info, maybe do some sabotage, and get out?” Hunk said, a smile starting on his face.

           Allura was about to say that was an excellent plan when Coran shook his head. “Information, yes, but the rest of that, no. There are also non-strategic reasons to consider this a viable actual match.” He was looking dead at her as if she ought to know them.

           She opened her mouth to inform him that he’d clearly gone utterly frumtash in his dotage, but then it occurred to her. “Oh.”

           “Oh? What ‘oh’?” Lance pursued.

           Allura looked down at the floor, hoping Coran would explain it. And, of course, like a good advisor, he did. “Allura is the last Sacred Altean. In the entire universe, she’s the only one who can operate the teludav. She’s the only one who can safely and respectfully obtain crystals from a Balmera. She is the last of the Royal Line.”

           She looked up again in time to see him raise the missive from Lotor. “Included with his offer of marriage are Lotor’s blood and DNA scans. It proves that he has Sacred Altean blood – probably courtesy of Haggar.”

           “Oh, there’s a mental image I didn’t need,” Hunk muttered, sounding like he might throw up.

           Coran looked back to her. His eyes were sorrowful. “I’m sorry, Princess. The decision is yours, of course, but…”

           “I have a responsibility to my people,” she finished for him, nodding.

           “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” That was Keith, who sounded almost insulted.

           “Please, Paladins,” she said. “I need some time to think.”

           “Lotor wants a reply within 40 vargas,” Coran put in.

           “He shall have it. For now, the bridge is yours, Coran. Excuse me.” She turned and walked away, trying to keep herself at a properly regal speed until she was away from them all. Only then did she run the rest of the way to her quarters to throw herself onto her bed and sob.

             She looked up when her door chimed at her some vargas later. She hurried to hide the signs of her tears before she called out, “Come in!”

           The door admitted Shiro, carrying a tray. “Hunk wanted you to have these,” he said, nodding down at the cookies. “He promises they don’t have any scaultrite in them this time.”

           She smiled. “That was thoughtful of him, thank you. You can just set them over there, please?” She gestured towards the vanity.

           He nodded and took them over. “And… I do need to talk with you. I know you must have a lot on your mind right now, but I thought I could help.”

           “Help? I don’t see how, Shiro, but I’m willing to listen.” Please, she pleaded with him silently, find me a way out of this mess. He was a strategist, an excellent leader. Her heart began to lift at the thought that her… no, the Black Paladin of Voltron had figured out how to save her.

           He cleared his throat and kept his eyes on the tray of cookies. “I know you’ve felt it, too, Allura.”

           Oh, Ancients, I love it when you say my name. “Felt… it?” she asked aloud.

           He still wouldn’t look at her. “The… the attraction between us.”

           Her heart started thudding. A way out and a love confession at the same time? The cookies – though surely tasty if Hunk had made them – were hardly necessary when Shiro was giving her so much at once. She wished he’d turn around so she could see those dark and lovely eyes of his.

           “I have,” she admitted, hoping to encourage him.

           “I thought I could just put this conversation off. I felt it could be safely put on the back burner, set aside for more important considerations like saving the universe. But I see now how wrong I was.”

           Just say it. Turn around and say it and then hold me, Shiro. I badly need to be held. I need to be cared for. Even if you don’t have a way out of this, just tell me you love me and wrap me up in your arms and we can figure this out together after that, please.

           He lifted his head and turned to her. She finally got to see those lovely dark eyes of his, but they were hard and cold as stone.

           “I need you to understand that it’s nothing, Allura.”

           She blinked at him. “What?”

           “If any part of you is holding back from this arrangement with Lotor because of me, stop. Because there’s nothing. I’m not…” He looked away from her. “I’m not interested in you that way, Allura. And Coran’s right: you could feed us information from the inside, in addition to saving your bloodline.”

           Her blood went cold for the second time that day. She stared at him.

           He was still speaking. “This is a good idea, not just for your people but for our mission. Play the doting and dutiful wife, cater to his ego. Once he’s convinced that you’re completely obedient and enthralled with him, you can get us…”

           “Get out.”

           He turned to look at her in confusion. “What was that?”

           “Leave. My. Quarters,” she ordered him icily.

           He nodded. “As you wish, Princess.”

           When the door shut behind him, she crumpled to the floor and sobbed.

             Shiro could hear her crying, and it made him want to turn around, to charge back in there and gather her up into his arms to hug her and soothe her and confess that he’d lied. It had felt like he was stabbing himself to do it, but he knew he had to.

           Because as soon as she’d left the bridge, every pair of eyes had been on him. He could read them all. Three pairs – Lance, Hunk, and Pidge – had wanted to know what he was going to do. One pair – Keith’s – had insisted he tell her the truth. And Coran’s had, of course, simply insisted that he convince her.

           Shiro couldn’t put his own desires ahead of a nearly extinct magical bloodline. He couldn’t prioritize his feelings over the good of the entire universe, no matter how badly he wanted to. He’d asked Hunk to bake a fresh batch of cookies and used the time to practice the hardest lie he’d ever told in his life.

           I wish I could tell you the truth.

           He wanted to scream. He wanted to punch Lotor in his smug snake face for even daring to suggest such a thing. He wanted to pull Allura into his arms and apologize for lying before letting the true depths of his feelings for her emerge – in words, in hugs, in kisses, in any and every way she’d let him express how very much he cared for her.

           He hadn’t really realized until this. He knew she was gorgeous, she was brave, inspiring, amazing, steadfast, determined. Still, it hadn’t really hit him how much he loved her until he was tasked with convincing her he wasn’t.

           But he knew he had to do this. Because he had to cut her free, for her sake. For the sake of everyone, of the countless people and planets and systems relying on them.

           “Defender of the universe,” rang hollow in his heart.

              “YOU IDIOT.”

           “Keep your voice down.”

           Keith wanted to tear his hair out. “You were supposed to tell her the truth,” he hissed.

           “I was supposed to do no such thing,” Shiro replied, taking another sip of nunvill. “I was supposed to do exactly what I did do, which is to make things easier for her.”

           “She should drop-kick Lotor into the next galaxy,” Keith insisted. “She should be with you! C’mon, Shiro, even I can tell that.”

           Shiro snorted once but didn’t laugh. Keith fell into a seat next to him and waited.

           Eventually, Shiro commented, “As much as I’d love to see her kick his ass, that can’t happen. There are few enough Alteans as there is. Lotor’s at least ½ Altean, and he has the correct bloodline.”

           “So he claims,” Keith muttered.

           Shiro shook his head. “I had Pidge check the message he sent over. It has actual scannable samples included. The Castle verified it: he’s Sacred.”

           “He’s a douchebag.”

           “Keith.”

           “He is!”

           “That’s not helping.” Keith watched him slug back some more nunvill. “I’ll get over her, Keith. And, because of what I did, she’ll get over me even faster. That’s what needs to happen.”

           “You’re going to send her to the Galra and who knows what they’ll do to her?”

           “Lotor will protect her. She’s a trophy for him. Let him think that’s all she is, that he’s won. She’ll prove the Galra Empire’s undoing while he’s busy preening like the peacock he is, and she’ll preserve her race’s most valuable bloodline while she’s at it.”

           “By sleeping with him.”

           “Don’t remind me.”

           “She has to have sex with him.”

           “KEITH.”

           “She’ll…”

           “DON’T. Say it,” Shiro all but growled at him. “It’s not helping.”

           “If it’s getting you angry, it is! You know she doesn’t want him! She wants you!”

           “Keith, you can’t say that. No one can say that but her.”

           “She would be saying it if you hadn’t just lied to her face!”

           “I am swearing you to secrecy, Keith.”

           “The hell you are.”

           “I Am. You and I took an oath.” Shiro looked up at him, dead in the eye, and Keith sighed.

           “I know, I know,” he groaned. “But this…”

           “Is a secret I’ll take to the grave with me. And so will you. Because we promised each other.”

           “Fine.” Keith sulked, but Shiro had tied his hands with the reminder of the oath they’d sworn back at the Garrison: to always tell each other the truth, to always have each other’s backs, and to always keep each other’s secrets. He couldn’t let his mentor and best friend down now. But it ate at him, to watch Shiro be miserable while the woman he clearly loved was going to head off to marry a man she didn’t love for the sake of “duty.”

Keith hated that word. He hated the way it was used, almost always by those who had power and authority and thought that that alone meant you were obligated to obey them. It was used to get respect for those who had done nothing to deserve it. Duty was a shield for fools and cowards and a sword for bullies and tyrants. Duty was a paper-thin purpose for those who had none of their own.

“Duty” was about to ruin the lives of two people Keith cared for. And he couldn’t do anything about it.

  Shiro’s hand cut through another training drone, and it dissolved into pixels before disappearing. He ducked and rolled to avoid a blast and came up to slice through the gun the next drone held. He feinted with his glowing hand and kicked back at the one coming up behind him, knocking it back as he took out two more with a swiping slash.

It was like meditation for him. It let him give vent to his feelings while also letting him step away from them. He just flowed through one motion into the next, like a particularly lethal form of dancing.

It’s better this way, he told himself for easily the thousandth time. She shouldn’t be with me anyway. She’s a princess. I’m little better than a weapon.

Slice, dice, hack, slash.

Feint, punch, kick, dodge.

Glints of purple at the edges of his vision as he swung his hand.

He tried not to think of Allura’s face when she’d boarded the pod to go over to Lotor’s ship.

He tried to push the smarmy snake’s voice from his mind as he’d magnanimously invited them all to the ceremony – under guard, of course. No weapons allowed.

Then I shouldn’t go at all. Under the right circumstances, I would be your end, Lotor.

Because of his arm. Because of this thing where his right arm should be. Haggar’s voice in his mind. “You could have been our greatest weapon!”

Why?

Why him? Not in the oh-boo-hoo-why-me sort of way, but what was it about him that had the witch convinced he had such powerful potential?

He cried out as he was struck from behind and hit the floor. He’d gotten lost in his own thoughts, fallen out of the flow. “End training sequence.”

The drones stopped, then fizzled out of existence. Shiro got up and arched his back, wincing at the spot where the blow had landed. Three vargas until the wedding. He didn’t want to be there, but he hoped for a chance to get Lotor alone, to warn him what would happen if he mistreated the princess even once…

He shook his head and headed for the infirmary. Strictly speaking, he didn’t need it for the bruising he’d gotten, but his last round in the pod had awakened new memories for him. And Haggar’s words were eating at him more than usual lately. He’d use the aches and pains of sparring as an excuse and hope his subconscious would be useful for a change.

              It was a voice unlike any he’d ever heard.

           It was his mother’s voice.

           It was Allura’s.

           It was strange and familiar all at once, unidentifiable to his conscious mind yet it sang through his bloodstream like an old friend, comforting in a way he’d never known.

           The voice was, and it was in him, around him, it both was and wasn’t him, it just WAS, it existed as it always had and always would and it said his name so beautifully he wanted to laugh and weep at the same time.

           And the voice spoke of destiny.

           The future is malleable, but some things are inevitable. All stars collapse, all stars are born. The manner and the methods may vary, may change, may alter and shift, but there are points in time and space which will come to pass, no matter what.

           The voice told him he had passed one such point already.

           The voice promised him another. And another.

           Destiny was not done with him yet.

           And when the pod released him, it wasn’t just his hand glowing, but his entire arm lighting up purple. The purple worked its way up into his body, and he tried to fight it, tried to push it down, but it filled his head, made his eyes glow but not yellow like the visions and nightmares that kept him from sleeping but purple...

           No. NO. NO!

           He shut his eyes against the corruption, but it made him feel sick, like taking too many G’s.

Open your eyes.

And he did. He opened his eyes and the purple blasted out of them, ejected and rejected by his body. His eyes still glowed, but they were blue-tinged white now, and it settled over his body, pushing out the evil of the Druids’ magic. It pulsed down his arm, where the Galra energy lived and was strongest.

           It hurt, ached like an old injury flaring, but he focused.

           The white energy flared and crackled as it pushed the dark magic of the Druids out. The darkness within his arm hissed and popped in response, tried to fight back, but eventually his entire arm glowed white, bright and unsullied.

           He came to on the floor of the infirmary, Coran and the paladins around him chattering concern.

           He pushed himself to his feet, and activated his hand.

           Everyone quieted instantly.

           Shiro looked at them. “We’ve got work to do.”

             “Are you sure that drone didn’t hit your head?” Hunk asked him.

           “Explain this,” he challenged, lighting his hand again. It was the same hand it had always been until he activated it. It glowed white, and Pidge was running some analysis on it as they talked on the bridge.

           “It just can’t be,” Coran repeated.

           Keith pressed, “You’re saying some random chick told you you could do this?”

           “Was she hot?” Lance wanted to know.

           “I never saw Her. And I don’t think She’s just ‘some chick,’” he chided Keith lightly. He looked to Coran, who was still shaking his head.

           “Just impossible,” the advisor was muttering to himself.

           “Here’s the preliminary analysis,” Pidge declared, bringing it up on the main screen for them all to see.

           “Okay, and…?” Keith wanted to know.

           “Hey, hey, that looks familiar,” Hunk chimed in. “Kind of like…”

           “This?” Pidge finished for him, and brought up a similar energy signature on the screen right below the one from Shiro’s arm.

           “Yeah!”

           “What is that?” Lance asked her.

           Rather than answer right away, she pulled up two more energy signatures and split the screen into four parts to display them all. They weren’t identical, but all four were strikingly similar. “Well, obviously the first signature is Shiro’s arm. The other three are all key Castle systems: bridge control, crystal energy transference matrix, and, of course, the teludav.”

           Shiro looked up at Coran, but he didn’t seem surprised. He was still muttering to himself.

           “So… all the systems that Allura controls,” Hunk summed up.

           “But you’re human,” Coran protested. “You’re from Earth, not Altea!”

           “I’m part Galra,” Keith reminded him. “And I don’t look it, do I?”

           “Yeah, I’ve looked,” Hunk said, “no purple on him anywhere I can see.”

           Coran was still in denial. “This just shouldn’t be possible.”

           “What shouldn’t be possible?” Pidge verbally prodded him.

           “If this is right,” the advisor gestured at the signatures on the screen, “then Shiro’s… Sacred.”

They were all quiet for a moment until Keith declared, “I’m going to go get Allura back.”

           “Hold on, Keith,” Shiro said. “You can’t just go charging in there.”

           “Watch me.”

           “No. Coran’s not through explaining. Because in all of this with Allura and Lotor and the bloodline and all that, you’ve never explained what a ‘Sacred Altean’ actually is.”

           Coran sighed harshly and folded his arms. “Yes, well, you lot never seem interested in my explanations.”

           “We are this time!” Lance hooted. “Spill!”

           Coran cleared his throat. “Well, you have to understand the ‘sacred’ designation is more traditional than anything else. It hearkens back to a time when it was believed that the royal bloodline and a few others were directly blessed by the Goddess of the Universe, She who was responsible for creating all life. She’s the source of quintessence, according to legend, and Her cult on Altea used to be the most widespread and powerful. It had dwindled in the last days, no longer quite as ascendant as it used to be, but it was still going, of course. We had many different religions and belief-systems.”

           “Was Haggar part of the Goddess Cult?” Shiro asked.

           Coran walked over to his station and pulled up a screen. Altean words scrolled past until one set flashed. “She was a priestess, it looks like. Not the High Priestess though. In fact,” he pulled up some more data in Altean, “this shows that she was passed over several times for higher-ranking positions.”

           “Did she start her own cult then?” Lance wondered.

           “Maybe. Or maybe she went over to the Dark Side,” Pidge mused. She pulled up another screen at her station and sent it to the front. “This is the energy signature my computer pulled when it was hooked up to Shiro’s arm before.” She pulled up the current one and overlapped them: they looked like the backbone of a double helix. “This can’t be coincidence.”

           “So, the Galra are the Sith and the Alteans are the Jedi?” Hunk asked.

           “More like the Druids and the Sacred Alteans specifically, but basically, yeah,” Pidge confirmed. “That’s my current hypothesis anyway.”

           “Dude, does that mean Shiro just got blessed by an actual GODDESS?” Lance wondered aloud.

           “Those are just legends,” Coran repeated.

           “Whatever,” Keith shrugged. “Shiro’s arm’s energy signature matches the Castle systems. Isn’t that good enough for him to marry Allura?”

           “Keith,” Shiro practically growled.

           “What?”

           “That’s just his arm,” Coran pointed out. “No offense, Shiro, but it’s a false arm attached to you. It’s not you. Look, everyone, I don’t want her to marry Lotor anymore than you do, but it’s necessary.”

           “Necessary for what?” Pidge countered. “Coran, a lot of evolution can happen in 10,000 years! Humans are proof of that, after all. If Alteans had been allowed to survive all this time, who knows what they’d look like or be like?”

           “I’m not talking about the hideous ears you all have,” Coran reminded her. “I’m talking about the Sacred part of the bloodline here.”

           “Test his blood,” Keith declared. “Test his blood the same way we tested Lotor’s.”

           “That’ll take time,” Pidge said. “And the wedding’s in a little over a varga.”

           They all looked to him.

           Shiro thought of the voice. Of what it had said of destiny. Of what he felt now – about his arm, which glowed white in response, and also about Allura.

           He looked around at his team. “Take what you need to start the scan, then get dressed for the wedding. Stall for time as much as you can, but do not say anything to the princess. We don’t want her thinking there’s a way out if it turns out there isn’t.”

           “On it.”

           Shiro looked up at Coran. “And if it turns out I’m… ?”

           Coran smiled. “She’s like a daughter to me. It’s only my position as Royal Advisor that’s ever had me advocating for her to be with a slimy luirass like Lotor. I’d much rather she be happy – and away from him.”

           Shiro smiled back. “Thank you, Coran.”

 Present

           She probably should have scolded Keith, but she honestly couldn’t blame him for his behavior. She couldn’t blame any of them. In a way, she was glad that Keith had triple-checked security (and nearly picked a fight with the guards); that Hunk had sent half the food back to be redone (and accidentally eaten most of the other half); that Pidge and Lance had given her soon-to-be husband an earful or three about the proper ways to treat a princess. She knew they’d all done it to put off the inevitable, and she had lived vicariously through their stalling tactics.

           The rational part of her said the sooner this was gotten over with, the better. But the part of her that wanted to kick and scream and fuss was happy to have the distractions and delays. So she hadn’t scolded any of them.

           She was a little surprised Shiro wasn’t there though. She figured something was holding him up, and that’s why the team were pulling their shenanigans. When she tried to ask Coran about it – and about what had held him up as well – she’d gotten some evasive answers that made her think that maybe, just maybe, Shiro cared more than he’d led her to believe. That it hurt him to watch her be married off to…

           Wishful thinking. And what point to thinking this now?

           She wouldn’t cry. She would hold her head high and show Lotor – and all of the Galra – what a princess of Altea was truly like. No sniveling child but a proud leader, willing to sacrifice for her people. She turned from the full-length mirror and headed for the door of her dressing room.

           She was going to be married.

           Whether she liked it or not.

             The Paladins lined the aisle as if they could protect her from the Galra soldiers filling the pews. She ignored the audience and focused on the giant “window” – likely a viewscreen – projecting an image of an aetherite window straight out of every Altean worship temple she’d ever been in. It was a rainbow of colors, as if the sun were rising just beyond it, as if they weren’t on a Galra ship out in the interminable darkness of space. She appreciated that far more than she did the fake juniberries in the bouquet she was carrying (another “gift” from her groom).

           “You look radiant,” Lotor said as he joined her, just as she walked past Keith and Lance.

           She took his arm as tradition required. “Thank you.”

           “I am surprised though. Only four Paladins?”

           She arched an eyebrow. Coran’s evasions were all pointless; she hadn’t bought one of them when he’d peddled them to her, so she doubted Lotor would be more gullible. She came up with her own. “Disappointed in not having all five paladins of Voltron aboard your ship and away from their lions?” she asked him mildly. She probably shouldn’t be accusing her future husband of such things.

           He sighed. “You’ll learn to trust me in time, Allura. I am defying my father out of my love for you.”

           She eyed the not-insignificant harem that filled the first few rows of seats. “Love does make people do strange things, I suppose.”

           “I will prove it to you every chance I get,” he promised, but it rang in her ears like a threat.

           I am not looking forward to tonight.

           Their officiant was to be a sentry drone, it appeared. She supposed that was fitting, and wondered idly if this meant she wouldn’t be required to show any more emotion than the robot.

           As they took their places in front of everyone, the doors to the “temple” slammed shut. She whipped her head towards the sound and then narrowed her eyes at Lotor, but he just smiled at her. “My dear, it’s just so everyone knows the ceremony is beginning and that late arrivals or early departures would be disruptive.”

           She didn’t like it, and everything in her screamed. She exhaled and looked to the officiant. “Very well.”

           The officiant began to drone, “Soldiers of the Galra Empire, Paladins of Voltron, we are here today to celebrate the joining of Prince Lotor of the Galra and Princess Allura of Altea in sacred matrimony. Here, in the sight of all you good people…”

           Allura looked over the crowd. Lotor’s harem, the soldiers, the Paladins still standing at attention along the aisle, unwilling to take their seats, and the remaining pews filled with sentries. If we wanted to attack, this would be an ideal time. He’s got most of his command staff here… But who was there to charge in? Shiro and the Black Lion?

           It was a nice daydream, that he’d come swooping in to save her from a life of misery and duty, but he’d made his feelings clear enough. Still, he wasn’t here, and she hadn’t been given a satisfactory answer as to why.

           But it didn’t matter. For whatever reason, Shiro wasn’t coming for her. She had made her choice, as a princess had to. It wasn’t about what she wanted. It was about what was best for her people and the universe.

           But then an alarm started. “What’s going on?” Lotor demanded of the officiant.

           It stopped reciting its programmed vows but before it could report, the door to the room had a new opening blasted into it. Allura brought up her arm to protect her head, but when she looked back, it was the Black Paladin himself striding into the room. He wasn’t in dress uniform the way the other Paladins were, but in his battle gear, and his hand was just starting to dim from its… white?!

           “What the...?” Lotor snarled.

           “Shiro?” she asked, feeling adrenaline and hope start to surge.

           “You don’t have to marry him, Princess.”

           “She’s chosen to,” Lotor declared smugly. “For the good of her people. As a proper leader should do.”

           “Then it’s not really a choice, is it?” Shiro shot back. “But she has one now.”

           “What? YOU?” Lotor laughed heartily.

           “The blood results?” Pidge piped up.

           Allura was very confused. “Blood results? What are you talking about?”

           “Uploaded to the Castle systems,” he confirmed. “As Princess of Altea and commander of the Castleship, she should have access to all of its information.”

           She arched an eyebrow, but lifted her hand. She was still wearing her command bracelets, wedding or no. The gold flashed and brought up a screen for her, and she gasped at what she saw.

           “Impossible,” Lotor snarled, seeing the backside of the screen.

           “Shiro,” she breathed. “You’re…”

           “Blessed by the Goddess,” Keith finished for her. “You don’t have to marry this slimy piece of shit, Allura.”

           But she looked to Shiro.

           “I lied,” he said, eyes locked on hers. And they weren’t hard or cold any longer. They were the same deep, dark eyes she’d dreamed of losing herself in, even with the visor of his helmet in the way. “I wanted to make it easy on you. I thought it would hurt you more to do this if I told you the truth, and I thought you had to do it.”

           “The Druids chose him to experiment on because he had the potential for this,” Pidge put in.

           “And that potential’s been realized now,” Keith said.

           Before she could say anything, Lotor bellowed, “ATTACK!” and the temple descended into chaos. The Paladins had somehow smuggled in their helmets and bayards, so even mostly unarmored, they were proving to be hard foes for the sentries and soldiers surrounding them.

           Lotor lunged for her, but she ducked and swept his legs out from under him. “Think again, luirass.”

           He was back on his feet in no time. “You’re going to belong to me one way or another, Princess. You and the power you possess will be mine.”

           “Well, at least you’re being honest now,” she replied as he attacked her again. He was fast, but she could easily keep up. “You know, that’s the foundation of all good relationships.”

           “You lost your chance at a ‘good relationship’. I would’ve made things so sweet for you before all of this; it would’ve been like a fairy tale.”

           “I never did like fairy tales much.” She summoned up all her strength to knock him back, and was gratified to see him hit the far wall. “This princess rescues herself, thanks.”

           And then Shiro was at her side. “We don’t have time to argue!” He pulled his helmet off.

           “What?”

           He jammed it onto her head. “Hold on!” He grabbed hold of her arms and spun them, putting his armored back to the aetherite window just before it exploded.

           The viewscreen – as suspected – flew into shards and Allura realized suddenly what Shiro’s plan was. “NO!” But it was too late.

The vacuum of space sucked them out of the ship; icy darkness surrounded them as glittering shards of viewscreen and the petals of fake juniberries from her dropped bouquet danced around their bodies. Shiro went limp in her arms from the sudden shock to his system and she pulled him close to her.

“SHIRO!”

Before she could say anything else, they were swallowed up by… The Black Lion! Thank the Goddess.

           She carried Shiro to the cockpit, tucking him against one of the consoles before hopping into the seat. “Please, I know I’m not Shiro, but we have to get him out of here.”

           There was a brief pause and then the seat brought her forward to the controls. She wrapped her hands over them.

           “Thank you. Let’s go home.”

             She paced outside the pod Shiro was in. Coran had used more of her stored residual energy to wormhole them away once all they were all back in the Castle. It had taken quite a bit of reassurance (and some hectoring from Coran) to get the Paladins to let her be alone in the infirmary. She stopped pacing to look up at him as the pod set him right.

           We must’ve looked quite the sight: me walking out of the Black Lion, carrying you in my arms, your helmet no doubt a very strange accessory to my mother’s wedding dress. She looked down at it; it was a bit tattered at the hems now, and she offered up an apology to her late mother for the state of it.

The pod opened, and she whirled towards it to steady Shiro as he emerged. She yelped a little in surprise when he pulled her in for a hug, then laughed in relief and hugged him back. “You brash fool,” she teased, not meaning it in the slightest.

           “I’m so glad you’re back,” he breathed.

           “I’m glad you’re okay,” she replied. “And don’t you ever pull such a stunt again.”

           “I won’t, so long as you don’t try to marry evil dirtbags anymore.”

           “Never again,” she promised. “Though I’ll point out that I didn’t think I had much of a choice.”

           “You did. You do.”

           “Do I?” she asked, pulling away a little so she could look at his face. “Tell me the truth now, Shiro, and I’ll forgive you for lying before.”

           His gaze was warm, and she felt like she might melt from his smile. “I love you, Allura.”

           “There, see? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” She beamed and hugged him again. “And that’s more important to me than all the Goddess blessings in the universe. Though that part was an unexpected stroke of good luck. Because you know Coran’s not wrong about my duty to my bloodline.”

           “Well, I’m not a sacred Altean,” he pointed out. “Just a sacred human, I guess.”

           “You’re Shiro. That’s all I need.” She leaned back. “Because I love you, too.”

           He leaned back in towards her and she met him halfway. He threaded his fingers into her hair as they kissed, and there was an energy between them that was beyond science’s electrical or chemical impulses. It was magic.

[ask-sickstuck]

Feferi has a fever after the she fell in the ice cold water after the ice broke at the lake and is now being taken cared by Condesce

Bonding

Feferi giggled with her friends, sitting in the cold snow around the lake. Feferi was warm and bubbly from the wine cooler she was sipping on.

Sollux was trying to tease Eridan, waving his drink in his face.

“Won’t even have one just for the sake of…of…Fef, what did you call this trip?”

“It’s knot a trip!” Feferi giggled. “We’re just making sure to all hang out at the same time because we’ve all been so busy lately. We’ve been growing up and stuff, and while I’m proud of all of you, I miss you, too.”

“I believe she asked us to steal what liquor we could so that we could all bond,” clarified Aradia almost mockingly.

“Bond,” Sollux laughed. “Yeah, that’s the word. Bond with us Eridan.”

“Don’t pick on him,” Feferi kicked Sollux lightly. “He don’t gotta do shit he doesn’t want to as long as he’ll have a eelings jam with everybody,”

“We’ll see about that,” Sollux chuckled.

Feferi turned back around, noticing a particularly colourful fish under the ice they had been watching. She tiptoed forward on the slick surface, looking down at the animals. Aradia joined her, and Sollux through a bottle at the lake, making Feferi jump. She squealed as she regained her balance.

“You absolute madman!” she laughed.

“It wasn’t going to break the ice,” claimed Sollux.

Eridan picked up another empty wine cooler and threw it sideways, watching how far it could drift out on the ice while Feferi clapped.

“I could do better than that if I tried,” said Sollux. “Let me finish this.” He tossed his drink back and slid his after Eridan’s, but he threw a bit too hard and broke it. The bigger half of the bottle still travelled a few feet.

“What’s faster, bottle or trash?” Eridan shrugged before tossing food leftovers to see how far they could go.

“Eridan, don’t litter,” Feferi pouted, putting her hand on her hips. “It’s knot good for the animals. Now, stop trying to break the ice.”

“We weren’t going to,” Sollux argued.

“I wonder what it WOULD take to break it, though,” said Eridan, making eye contact with Sollux and smiling. Eridan lifted up a little rock.

“Don’t you dare,” Feferi grinned and giggled, watching Eridan eagerly.

“Back up,” he warned, and the girls listened.

He threw the rock out far and Sollux stood to watch as it soared.

“Did it break it?” Sollux squinted.

“It sounded like it,” said Aradia. “Just not much, I don’t think.”

Sollux picked up a rock and chucked it at the lake. It immediately pierced the ice and revealed the water under it.

The girls both cheered, Feferi near screaming in excitement.

“Look at that huge-ass crack we made!” Aradia grinned.

“Huge ass crack?” Sollux teased, and Feferi doubled over laughing.

Eridan looked around, lifting a rock he needed 2 hands for.

“Eridan-“ Feferi gasped, giggling. Before she could stop him, he threw it. Both the ice and the teenagers got so loud that someone must’ve heard, but they spared the kids and left them to keep having fun out in the cold.

Feferi was feeling brave now. She took a swig of her wine cooler and passed it to Eridan before slowly walking out on the ice. As she shuffled her feet in tiny, slow steps, Eridan called,

“Fef, come back,”

Aradia giggled as she watched.

“She’s going for it,” Sollux laughed. “Woah, Fef. That might be too far.”

“Go Feferi!” hollered Aradia.

“AA, you’re not helping!” Sollux laughed as Aradia cheered and hollered. Suddenly, Feferi’s foot slipped.

“Fef!” Eridan yelled, getting up and running over to her. She struggled as her whole leg went under, but she was still giggling. She had to fight her foot all the way back out, but soon she was back over with her friends.

“You’re all wet,” Eridan sighed. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Feferi giggled. “I only hit my knee.”

“Woo!” Feferi shivered and wrapped her arms around Eridan. “I’m freezing!”

“Huh. I guess you ARE sick. I thought you were just hungova,” Condesce pursed her lips.

“So now will you bring me asprin?”

“You can get it yourself,” Condesce put her hands on her hips.

“But my knee is sore!”

“Because you were makin’ a damn fool out a yourself!” Condesce let out an obnoxious giggle as Feferi sneezed. “When I was your age I threw a friends necklace overboard an she actually went after it for the pearls, and let me tell you, there were BEASTS in the water. We got her back in an I bought her a new thing since she was so pissed about the whole mess. Listen, I’m not gonna punish you, but I don’t feel bad for you, either.” Condesce grinned.

“Take the day off, but cool it with the requests,” said Condesce, and then she shrugged. “I guess I’ll bring ma girl drugs, though.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Feferi smiled.

[anarcoqueer1994]

I Think You're Really Pretty.

Felt Dysphoric, took it out on my emotinal support otp, then wrote smut.

It's not like he wanted to be a woman all the time. Steve very much liked how masculine he looked, how manly he felt when he looked in the mirror at the hardlines that made up his body. He liked his broad shoulders, his beard, the sharp features of his face. He liked that even when he was smaller, he had a masculine face. He liked the way Bucky looked at him, how he called him the sexiest guy he knew. He liked that even when Bucky was fucking him hard and fast from behind, it was because Bucky was attracted to him as a man. He liked when they were talking dirty and he would call Bucky daddy, Bucky would call him his good little boy. He liked being a man. But…

Sometimes he wanted to be seen as feminine, as soft. He wanted to wear delicate clothes without feeling ridiculous in them. He wanted to have softer movements, a sweeter voice. He wanted to be called sweet names like baby girl or princess. This isn't new. He has secretly felt this way for a long time, even back when he was young and skinny. Back then he had been so weak and sickly though, he was terrified that people, that Bucky, would see him as even weaker, and he was already working so hard to show the world that he was strong and masculine. And now he feels too big to be feminine and soft. But he still wanted it.

Sometimes he felt like a huge contradiction. Wanting to be strong and masculine, but also delicate and feminine. Not that all women were delicate, he has met enough badass women in his life to know that, it's just that's how he wanted to feel. He wanted to feel soft and beautiful. Sometimes he had these contradictory feelings at the same time, wanting to feel both masculine and feminine at the same moment. But most of the time he would just shift between the two, wading in and out of wanting to be seen as a strong, hard man one day and a delicate, soft woman the next.

Most of the time he was fine, more often than not, feeling masculine, and loving the way he looked and how others saw him. But on the rare days he wanted something different, it was hard. He feels too big in his body to be taken seriously as something beautiful and feminine, so he doesn't try. Too embarrassed to talk about it with anyone, he just keeps it to himself.

He doesn't know why he is afraid to tell Bucky, though. Bucky wouldn't laugh at him or make him feel self-conscious. Bucky loves him, no matter what. He had promised him as much. But maybe he is scared that Bucky won't be attracted to him when he wasn't filling the role as a man. He knows it sounds stupid, but his head is constantly plagued with anxieties surrounding this. It is 2024 and he knows it's a different time, but sometimes he feels like his head is stuck in the forties. For god's sake, it took years before he and Bucky were finally able to be together because of these horrible fears that had been built in him since he was a child. But they overcame that, overcame the harmful attitudes that had been in their way, and now both are happier than they've ever been.

With that thought, he comes to a realization. It's going to be another fear that will control his life if he doesn't take back that control. Maybe not publicly, but with Bucky, the person he trusted the most. He decides that the next time he wakes up feeling like he wanted to be feminine, he was going to do it, lean into it, and hope to god Bucky still is into him.

~~

The day he had been waiting for, as well as dreading, had arrived. He had woken up that morning feeling distinctly feminine, like it had surrounded everything about him and he just wanted to float in. Usually, he would squash down this feeling, extinguishing it as soon as it came. But not this time. He had promised himself that next time he was feeling like this, he would fan that flame, letting it burn bright enougb for Bucky to see.

He had decided a few things. In his head he couldn't make the switch with the pronouns, didn't quite connect it to himself but wouldn't mind if someone else, preferably Bucky, called him…"her". It was a weird feeling both wanting and not wanting to be seen as a girl, to be called "she" or "her" naturally, not being hung up on the word.

Anyhow, Bucky had been gone for a few days on a mission with Sam and some of the other Avengers, but was supposed to be back this evening for dinner. Steve didn't go out much on missions any more now that he passed the shield onto Sam. He didn't really want that life anymore and enjoyed being retired. He was glad, though, that Bucky was out for today(though most days when he was gone, he missed him like crazy.) It meant he had all day to prepare himself, get himself perfectly right in his eyes before letting Bucky in.

When he decided today was the day, he felt butterflies in his stomach as he typed a text message to Bucky

Morning gorgeous, I got a surprise for you tonight, so don't be late.

Within seconds little dots pop up the screen, indicating Bucky was replying, before the message pops up.

Wouldn't dream of it, baby. See you tonight. Oh...and daddy misses you very much, I can't wait to play with you. ;)

Steve blushes reading the text. He could imagine Bucky smiling into his phone while sitting next to Sam. He wonders if Sam knows what type of stuff Bucky is sending. He is guessing not, though poor Sam knows more about their sex life than most people would ever want to.

Steve loves how dirty Bucky could be. How he could get Steve going with just a few words. How much Bucky loved when Steve was his good boy. He just hopes Bucky will love his girl and much as he loves his boy.

Steve had gone to the store, and picked out a few things he thought he would need: soaps, lotions, makeup, nail polish. He goes to a shop that specializes in more "vintage"  style clothing. He already had measured himself at home a while ago so he wouldn't have to try anything on and risk getting caught.

He ended up picking out things that had a distinct 30s feel, something that would have been in his ma's closet when she was trying to dress in her Sunday best. That's the type of girl he pictured himself as, demure, and soft, classic. It was a beautiful navy dress that goes down to the knee and cinches slightly at the waist, a small zipper on the back. He grabbed a pair of black modest heels, with a little strap over the foot, and luckily, they carried his size.

He had found himself wandering to the lingerie department. He hadn't planned on getting that sort of stuff, unsure if he would be brave enough. But seeing the delicate soft dress in his hands, he felt it a shame to ruin it with his plain white briefs. He was drawn in by a few delicate looking things. His eyes glance over at a soft white slip made of silk, lace bordering the edges. It was beautiful and he wanted it. He hurriedly grabs one in his size, before he can change his mind. He also grabs the matching garter belt and pair of nude stockings. He figured if he is getting the slip, might as well go all in.

There was a couple things he grabbed that were distinctly not from the 1930s. Namely, he grabbed a tiny pair of lace panties. Opting for no bra.

~~~~

He was in his room, all his purchases laid out on the bed. He stares at the soft fabrics. He lets himself run his fingers over the lace that outlines the slip, loving how dainty it feels between his fingers, hoping that maybe it would have that effect on him, softening him into something fragile and lovely.

He looks at the clock sitting on his bedside table and notes that it's getting later in the afternoon and he must start getting ready. He slips off his clothes, throwing them into the hamper before grabbing a towel and making his way to the bathroom, grabbing the bag of soaps and makeup as he does. He stands in the mirror, setting the bag of stuff down on the counter. He frowns as he looks at the rough stubble that covers his face. He runs his hand over, the rough hairs feeling particularly out of place today. He wants to be pretty. Pretty girls didn't have beards...did they? Maybe they did, but he knows it is not making him feel pretty.

He decides to shave. He feels better afterwards with smooth, pretty enough skin. He frowns soon enough, looking at his face, again. He thinks his jaw looks too square, too manly, lacking the soft lines of a woman. Not much he could do about that though.

He steps into the shower where he decides to shave the rest of his body too, his legs, arms, and chest too hairy for him to feel feminine. He even trims his pubes, to a neater more manageable patch. He curses to himself as he shaves his legs, catching the skin and cutting along his calf. He knows it will heal but not fast enough. He didn't want to look scratched up when Bucky got there, he wanted to look perfect. He sighs because again he realizes there is nothing he can do about this either.

He had taken with him into the shower one of the pretty soaps he bought. The sales lady assured him that "any girl would love this." He runs the lilac smelling soap along his body, trying to cover his usual smell, hoping Bucky will smell this on him when he comes close, breathing him in. 

He takes his time in the shower, not turning off the water until he feels clean enough, until the feminine scent seeps through every pore, washing away the man inside threatening to ruin his plan. He steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around his chest, then walks to the sink counter and pulls the lotion out of his bag. It's also lilac to match with the soap.

He looks down at his hands, knowing they are calloused and rough, but still looking disappointedly at them. He tries in vain to use the lotion to soften them up, wanting their roughness to just melt away. It was useless, he decides before rubbing the lotion elsewhere, wanting Bucky to feel soft, silky skin when he touches. He runs it up his legs and up his thighs, carefully avoiding getting too close to his groan, feeling like getting hard right now would not help his quickly souring mood. When he finishes, he doesn't feel any different, hands still rough, body not wanting to cooperate. He shakes his head and resigns himself to the fact this is the best it's going to be. The rest of his getting ready process doesn't go any better.

He tries to style his hair so it would look cute and girly, even putting in a tiny, sophisticated flower barrette. He hates it.

He paints his finger and toenails a light pink. They end up looking messy, and a few are already chipping.

He tries to put on makeup like the girls in the YouTube videos he is watching does. He chooses nudes for the eye with a little bit of eyeliner, and a light pink lipstick to match his nails. He feels silly and not at all beautiful when he is done, his facial features are too strong for that.

He finally slips on the undergarments he purchased, not able to look in the mirror as he slips on the panties, adjusting himself to try and fit his cock in, still ending up with the head poking out. He puts on the garter and stockings next, thankful that despite how bulky his shoulders were, he had a pretty small waist in comparison, and actually liked how the garter belt sat on it. 

Unfortunately, those positive feelings fly away when he puts the slip on. He stares critically in the mirror, examining how the silk material is pulled too tight across his broad shoulders and chest. His thighs are too large as they peak out underneath the short slip. He feels hideous as he stares in the mirror, just an imposter playing pretend.

Everything he has done has made him feel worse, reminding him that no one would ever see him as a classy, demure girl, just an idiot who thought he could be feminine and delicate, and pretty. This all comes to a tipping point when he steps into the blue dress and heels. He can't get the zipper up on his own with where it sat on his back. It was a little tight across his chest. It just feels like too much. He feels like just giving up, like everything is crashing down at once.

Suddenly he finds himself on the floor against his bed, with his knees pulled up to his chest, dress still not zipped up. And...he starts to cry. He is angry, and embarrassed, and just feels worthless, like a fraud. He tries to stop, wanting to get up, and clean up, throwing all this stuff away before Bucky gets home. He can pretend this part of him doesn't exist, not beautiful enough for it anyways. But he can't, he can't get his body to move, just cry. Morbidly he thinks to himself what the public would think if they saw him like this. Crying, dressed up like some dame. Who would imagine that Captain Steve Rogers, formally Captain America, was like this? Was a pathetic little wannabe, who was brought to tears by a dress. Shame starts to overwhelm him.

He is so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he does not hear Bucky come in the front door. But now Bucky is at their bedroom doorway, just staring, worry covers his face. After a few moments, Steve realizes that Bucky is there. Panic seizes him, causing him to hide his face in his knees.

Bucky is confused about the situation in front of him. But worry for his crying partner on the floor outweighs all confusion. Without a second's more hesitation, he walks across the room, dropping to his knees next to Steve.  "Baby, what is it?" He puts his hand on his shoulder, but the blonde pulls away

"Just leave me alone…please…" he whispers, voice tight as he fights back another sob.

"We both know that's not going to happen, sweetheart. I can't leave you like this. Baby, can you please tell me what has gotten you so upset?" Bucky begs sweetly, while consciously keeping his hands to himself.

There is a long silence before Steve finally lifts his tear stained face, blue eyes meeting Bucky's. Bucky can see the soft makeup on his lover's face, it's adorable, even as it streaks a little from the tears. Steve let's out a choked sob before answering softly "Me. I'm what's wrong."

Bucky immediately gets defensive, not liking when anyone talks badly about Steve, even Steve himself. "Well that can not be true. Baby, you are perfect, the most perfect person I have ever met." Bucky is careful not to use anything like "man" in his response, Not knowing exactly what's going on but understanding by the way Steve looks, that that won't make him feel better right now, so he settled on the word person.

Steve shakes his head defiantly. “You’re wrong, Buck...I'm a freak. Look at me. I...I wanted to show you...this other part of me, to be open about it. Every once in a while, I want to feel...like a girl." He is trying to force the tears back as he talks. "And...I wanted to get all pretty for you so you would see me like how I am feeling. But everything kept going wrong. My body just wasn't right for this. I am not beautiful, or dainty. I am too big and look ridiculous like this and I couldn't even get this dress zipper up.

Bucky flashes a small smile at Steve before reaching forward and wiping a tear away from Steve's face. There is no judgement or awkwardness in the way he looks at Steve. He whispers "Babydoll," he reaches forward, stroking  Steve's cheek. "I think you look really pretty."

Steve blushes as he replies, tilting his head down, as to not make eye contact. "You're just saying that…"

Bucky moves his hand to Steve's chin, forcing Steve to look at him. "No, I'm not, lover. Everytime I see you, I think you are the best looking person I have ever seen. Now isn't any different."

Steve continues to look anxiously at him, blushing slightly at his words. "Even...even if I am dressed like this, and want to be a girl sometimes? Even if I am not just a guy." 

"I didn't fall in love with some guy, I fell in love with you, Stevie. You are so fucking sexy and I am so into you. You drive me wild. You're in my head sweetheart, what can I do? I'm hopelessly yours no matter how you are feeling… no matter what you are." Bucky stares intensly into Steve’s eyes, needing to convey how in love he really was with the other man.

"Really?" Steve's voice is shaky, still so unsure, despite Bucky's words. But his face looks hopeful, a tiny grin breaking through.

"Yes, really." Bucky beams. "Now how about we stand up so I can help you with your pretty little dress, darling."

"You...you don't have to do that, Buck…" Steve answers as Bucky drops his hand from his chin and stands up, offering Steve his hand to get up.

"Nonsense baby, what kind of gentleman would I be if I couldn't help my favorite girl zip up her dress."  He says before pulling a blushing Steve to his feet.

Steve's face is pink as he let's Bucky pull him up. It felt so good to hear his boyfriend call him that, it felt so right. He feels Bucky step around him making his way behind him. Bucky places his metal hand on Steve's waist as his other hand zips up the soft blue fabric. He leans his head forward so Steve could feel his breath on the side of his neck. "Mmm, you smell so good, sweetie…"

Steve again ducks his head, smiling to himself this time. "You like it? It's new, I just got it today so I would smell good when you got home."

The hand once occupied by the zipper makes its way down to Steve's waist, now wrapping both arms around him, to pull him in close.Steve's weight is pressed against Bucky, his back pressed to the older man's chest. Bucky leans his head closer, pressing his lips against Steve's neck before answering "Yea baby, I love it…" he presses another kiss to Steve's neck, a little lower this time, and continues "I love that my princess took the time to get all nice and pretty for daddy."

Steve feels his knees wobble, Bucky’s words make his head spin. In the sweetest voice he could muster, Steve says, “Anything for you, daddy…” A low moan escapes Bucky’s lips at his words as he keeps placing little kisses down the blonde’s neck. 

Bucky places one more kiss to the back of Steve's neck, before pulling his arms away and stepping back. Steve keens at the loss of contact, a little frown forming on his lips. But Bucky doesn't keep him waiting for long. "Stevie, how about you turn around so I can see you, sweetie?" 

Steve is appreciating all the sweet pet names. Though Bucky has always been a romantic, often slipping up and calling Steve something embarrassingly sweet in front of their friends, some of these names are softer than usual and he loves it.

What he doesn't love is how nervous he is to actually turn around all of a sudden. It was one thing for Bucky to see him scrunched up on the floor or from behind, but standing up, front on display was different. What if Bucky changed his mind, saw what he saw, a fraud who looks ridiculous. He knows Bucky wouldn’t  actually tell him that, but he can't quite convince his anxiety of that. He nervously stays still.

When he doesn't move, Bucky gently tries to coax him. "Come on, sweetheart...I really want to see my pretty gal. I want a reminder on why all the other guys are so jealous that I have such a sweet little thing. 

Steve takes a shaky breath, and swallows down a lump in his throat, taking a moment to note his too obvious Adams apple as he does. Bucky's coaxing was enough, though. He tentatively turns around to find Bucky sitting on the edge of their bed, leaning back on his palms, legs planted on the floor but wide open. He is looking at Steve like a starving man who wandered upon a buffet. Steve stands nervously, hands at his side as he waits for his boyfriend to speak again, feeling more exposed than anytime in his life, (and that includes the many nights, he has been completely naked, pinned under Bucky)

"Fuck…." Bucky breathes out "Baby girl, look at you….yea others can look alright, and be jealous. But only daddy can touch, right? Come here." He pats his leg, signaling that he wants Steve to take a seat, more of a demand than a request. From the sounds of it Bucky really likes this part of Steve and the blonde can't help but blush. Bucky was completely enthralled with him.

He steps forward, taking a seat on Bucky's lap, facing inwards so his legs sit between the other man's. Bucky wraps one of his arms around Steve's waist as his other hand rests on Steve's thigh.  "Oh, darling, look at you, you really know how to get a guy going." He says, voice low and husky, placing a chaste kiss on Steve's shoulder. "It's only, too bad about this dress." Bucky continues as he runs his hand along Steve's smooth thigh, inching higher up, as his cock starts to tent against his pants.

Steve lets out a little gasp at the feeling of Bucky's hand, squirming on his leg before asking "What's wrong with my dress?"

Bucky let's out a little huff, an airy laugh escaping him. "Nothing's wrong with it sweetheart. It's just that we just got it on you and I think I'm going to have to take it off soon. I can't help it, daddy can't wait to play with his baby. You don't mind, do you angel?" He asks innocently as his hand keeps sliding seductively up and down Steve's thigh, trying to avoid going too high.

Steve's breath hitches in his throat as he stutters, 'No--no not at all daddy." Letting out a little whine when Bucky lets his hand accidentally bump against Steve's gradually hardening cock. Bucky smiles when he feels the lace panties holding Steve in. He lingers for a moment before moving his hand and placing it back on Steve's lower thigh over his stockings.

"That's good sweetheart. You're always such a good girl for me…" Steve feels Bucky's hand move from his waist to the little zipper on the back of the dress. He undoes the zipper, gently pushing the dress down off Steve's shoulder and his arms, letting it pool at his hips. That's when Bucky gets a good view of Steve's upper body, clad in the delicate white slip. Bucky thought white was the best color since his baby looked so heavenly in it.

He notices Steve looking shy, face going  red as he turns away. Bucky replaces the emptiness of Steve's hip with his hand again, taking his other from his thigh to reach over and take Steve's chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. "Aww Stevie don't get all shy again…"

"Buck…" Steve breathes out, voice full of nerves. "I know I look silly in this...my chest is too broad and--"

Before he could continue criticizing himself, Buck pulls him down into a dirty kiss, licking against Steve's bottom lip until he opens up, letting Bucky's tongue plunge in, trying to steal every last breath used to talk bad about himself away from Steve. He wanted to convey to Steve just how much he loved him, just how turned on he was. He needed Steve to know he was perfect. Bucky can't help but smile against the other's lips when he hears his lover moan into his mouth. 

Eventually they have to break apart, Steve making a little mewing sound at the loss of contact. Bucky  whispers, "Baby, damn I love this little number on you, love how this lace sits across your tits." He takes his hand off Steve's face, letting it run lower over one of the sensitive nubs of the nipples pressed against the slip.  He grabs it, tweaking it before rolling it between his fingers, eliciting more noise from the blonde on his lap. "God baby, you have the prettiest little tits I've ever seen. Better than any other dame I have ever been with…" He coos as he keeps rubbing Steve's tits. "How about you stand up and take the dress the rest of the way off so I can see the rest of that pretty little thing, babydoll."

Steve's skin feels hot to the touch. Bucky's words going to his head, making him feel comfortable. He loved that Bucky always seems to know what he needs, whether it's rough and fast, or soft and drawn out, Bucky was always so in tune with his needs. And right now, he needs this. He needs to be doted over, taken care of, told he is pretty. He gets up, almost losing his balance in the heels he is wearing, but quickly catches himself. He helps push the dress the rest of the way down. As Bucky watches him shimmy the dress to the ground and step out of it, Steve notices the way he palms himself over his pants. He watches as the brunette bites his lip holding back a moan.

Despite the verbal and physical encouragement, Steve still feels nervous standing in front of Bucky. He feels like he is on display, his cock pressed against the thin fabric of the slip, looking completely obscene. He has been pretty well endowed his entire life, even before the serum, so afterwards, he was definitely not small. Bucky was wider than his but he was a little longer. The thin fabric really puts an emphasis on this fact, even through the panties.

Bucky clears his throat, shooting Steve’s attention back to Bucky.. "God dammit baby…" His breathing is uneven, and Steve can't help but smile at the sight of his man being undone by looking at him. Steve watches as Bucky slips his tee shirt off, leaving him bare chested. His eyes are lust blown, dark with only a tiny ring of blue. "You coming back over here, princess? Or are you going to make daddy wait?"

Steve gives him a little smile, feigning bashfulness. "Sorry daddy…got distracted." He walks back over to Bucky's lap. This time sitting down so he is straddling his boyfriend's lap, legs on either side of Bucky's thighs, wrapping his arms over his shoulders, as he feels Bucky wrap his arms around his waist. Steve leans down to steal another dirty kiss from him, biting Bucky's bottom lip before pulling away and smiling back down at him.

"Oh you are such a little vixen, Stevie." Bucky says as one of his hands lower, gripping the perfect globe of Steve's ass, causing the blonde to gasp. Steve smiles at the new sensation, before leaning back down, this time a little lower, running his tongue over his lover’s neck, in a way that makes Bucky shiver. He starts kissing and licking his way over the brunette’s neck, pulling dark deep moans from him. He wants to mark up Bucky as his, and loving the effects it has on him. 

"Princess, you can be so bad can't you? Everyone sees you as such a good little girl, b-but we know the truth. You can be so dirty for daddy." Bucky moans into Steve's ear as his mouth diligently works its way around the other man’s neck.

After a bit, Steve pulls up to study his handiwork. He admires the little bruises and love marks forming on Bucky’s neck, knowing they will fade all too soon due to the super soldier serum, but loves to enjoy them while they last. Because of Steve's height and the way he is sitting on Bucky's lap, the brunette finds himself head on with Steve's chest, clothed in lace and fabric. He deviously smiles to himself as he absent-mindedly fondles Steve’s ass. While Steve is distracted, he leans forward and takes one of the hard nubs into his mouth, sucking on it through the thin material, earning more little mews and pants from the blonde.

“Daddy…” Steve pants, running his fingers through Bucky’s long hair, instantly glad he talked his boyfriend out of hair cut. Bucky pulls back and smiles up at Steve. “Do you like that baby? Do like it when I play with your tits?”

Steve nods enthusiastically, giving Bucky to go ahead to keep sucking the sensitive skin, his metal hand holding Steve in place by wrapping around his back, the flesh one alternating with his mouth as he keeps playing with his nipples. Steve’s cock is pressing between their bellies, his ass and hips pressing dangerously close to Bucky’s. When Bucky nips a little too hard on Steve’s nipple, Steve inadvertently grinds his hips down rubbing his ass against the clothed cock tenting in the other man’s pants, earning him a moan against his skin as Bucky reacts.   

Steve loves the way the mouth-wet material is clinging to him, loves the way Bucky is treating him with such reverence, loves the way Bucky wants to make him feel good. In between breathy moans "Buck--- Bucky---Daddy…can I taste you? I want to feel your cock in my mouth...please daddy…” He practically begs.

"Oh baby, you are such a little whore for daddy’s cock, aren't you? Bucky pulls his head back, smiling mischievously up at Steve, who only blushes in response."Well, I guess when you ask so sweetly, how can I say no, princess? But I got this--" Bucky holds the satin from the slip between his fingers. "All wet. Maybe we should get it off of you first." 

Steve bites his lip and nods his head, grabbing the hem of his slip and pulling at it. Bucky swats his hand away, opting to pull the slip up over Steve’s head himself, watching hungrily as Steve's torso is revealed. He throws the slip on the ground. Bucky practically drools when he sees how sinful Steve looks in his white panties and garter . Steve's cock is straining against the devilishly tight panties,the head is peaking over the top of the waist band, precum leaking out. The white garter belt emphasizes Steve's tiny waist, stocking stretched up over his thighs. 

"Baby girl…fuck…" is the only thing Bucky can get out, mouth going dry as he maneuvers around Steve to unbutton his pants, pulling out his own hard cock that had been straining against the fabric of his pants. Steve leans in and gives Bucky one more kiss, open mouthed and needy, grinding against him as he does, stealing another low dirty sound from his boyfriend's mouth. 

When he pulls away this time, he slides off Bucky's lap, taking his place on the floor between the brunette's thighs on his knees. Bucky lowers his hand down, placing it on Steve's cheek, stroking over the skin with his thumb. He was smiling down like he was just taking in the scene below him, absolutely head over heels for the blonde beauty between his legs. Steve bites his lip, meeting his lover's gaze. Bucky's eyes are lust blown, and his breathing comes out a little labored. The air around them seems heavy and full of electricity at the same time.

Bucky clears his throat after the long pregnant pause. "Come on baby, please don't make daddy wait."

Steve feels another wave of heat roar through his body, causing him to grind down against his own legs. Bucky watches the reaction with absolute aww. Steve smirks before reaching forward, wrapping his hand around Bucky's hard waiting cock. He squeezes the base, just to draw another desperate moan from him, before shooting forward to place a kiss on the angry red head. Steve can hear Bucky's carefully controlled breath, breaking and hitching, causing him to look up innocently right through his long eyelashes, removing all contact with Bucky's cock.

"You are such a tease princess. But daddy really wants your sweet little mouth to get to work, can you do that for me, baby girl?" Bucky asks sternly, his voice dark and seductive, lacing his fingers in Steve's shorter blonde hair.

Steve swallows heavily, suddenly well aware of the weight between his legs. He wants to reach down and grab himself but knows he likes it better when he waits, lets Bucky do the touching. So instead he answers by nodding his head, feeling a slight sting as he pulls against Bucky's firm grasp in his hair.

Going forward again, this time he takes the entire head into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the slit, tasting copious amounts of precum on his tongue. He slides his mouth down further, sucking slightly, pulling all the dirty noises from Bucky that he could make. He runs his tongue over the smooth skin on the underside of the brunette's cock before sliding all the way down, the head of Bucky's cock hitting the back of his throat, hollowing his cheeks and sucking. This causes the other man to buck up in response, Steve repressing his well trained gag reflex, though little tears do well up involuntarily at his eyes. He hears his boyfriend embarrassingly mumble "Sorry, Stevie."

Steve shrugs it off, thinking it's cute when he can make Bucky lose control. Soon, he pulls back up, before sinking back down, the pressure on his scalp helping to guide his head. Bucky watches as the blonde bobs his head on his cock.

Bucky smiles to himself, knowing that even though Steve lets him be the "dominant" one most of the time when they fuck, he knows who is in control:  the sexy little thing between his knees who right now he is convinced is trying his best to suck his soul out right through his cock. No one else can make him feel this needy, and so loved. Not just with stuff like this, but everyday, doing little things like trying to cook for him even though Steve has a tendency to burn the simplest of things, or holding him when he has another nightmare. Even today, though he was trying to make Steve feel better, because, fuck, Steve was beautiful, didn't matter if they were a guy, girl, something in between and he hated to see his beau so sad, it was Steve that was making him feel better. He still couldn't believe someone as perfect as Steve wanted him so badly. Loved him. It had broken his heart to come home and find his favorite person, the best person he had ever met, sitting on the ground crying, feeling so low about themself. And like that, he felt a tear form in the corner of his eye, he was willing it to stay put but it rebelled, rolling down his cheek. 

The sensations were too much for him, Steve's mouth working hard to make him feel good, moans escaping him, while he was thinking about the absolute devastation knowing that Steve didn't value himself enough, didn't see how lovely he was always.

Steve felt Bucky's hand loosen it's grip in his hair. He looks up from what he was doing, and sees the man's face above him. He lets go of Bucky's cock with a wet dirty pop, sending another contradictory sensation through the older man. Steve whispers "Buck...are you alright?" Steve places his hand gently on his lover's knee.

Bucky gives him a soft smile, not sensual, just full of love. "Yea baby, I'm fine...I just want you to know how beautiful you are and how much I love you. You know I think you're beautiful, right?" Steve looks away instead of answering, knowing that he never feels beautiful, never feels worthy of Bucky. Part of him still sees the sickly man from more than 80 years ago. He frowns to himself, knowing Bucky would have called that man beautiful too.

Bucky places his hand under Steve's chin, forcing him to look back at him. Bucky's expression is soft as he stares down at the anxious person beneath him."Baby girl, you can be so...oblivious sometimes. There are a ton of people who are constantly jealous of me. You know why?"

Steve can only shake his head, his emotions very raw, and sensitive, all his insecurities pushing through.

Bucky laughs kind heartedly. "Oh baby, you're hopeless." He jokes. "They are jealous because I have the best person in the world as my partner and they know they can never ever have you.I'm going to show you, sweetheart,  how lucky I am, how beautiful you are, how much I love you. So can you be a good girl, and lay on the bed for daddy?" Bucky's face shifts, moving back towards the seductive.

Like that, Steve's  cock, which had started to soften, goes back to attention. Bucky calling himself daddy really gets to Steve. He palms himself over the lace panties, biting his lip and nodding obediently.  He stumbles when he stands up, legs feeling like jelly. He walks to the other side of the bed, and lays down, trying to be as graceful as possible while knowing his body will betray him.

As he lays on his back, Bucky stands up and watches.  His legs are bent at the knee, spread open obscenely, feet planted flat on the bed. His arms lay excitedly by his side. Bucky strokes his own cock, admiring his waiting lover before he kneels between Steve's  legs on the bed, cock pressed firmly against Steve. He bends down to Steve's mouth, pushing his lips against the blonde's, gently at first before deepening the kiss, Bucky's tongue running along Steve's lips as he becomes pliant beneath him.  Bucky pulls back after a moment and whispers "I'm going to take good care of you, princess. I want you to just lay here and look pretty for daddy. I'll take care of the rest. Imma make you feel so good." 

Steve nods his head, taking in the words, swallowing heavy as a lump forms in his throat. Bucky leans back in, stealing another kiss before making his way down. He leaves trails of kisses and hickeys in his wake, sucking and nipping on every inch of available skin, until he lands right above the exposed, neglected head sticking above the waist band. He runs a metal finger over the slit, feeling the precum leaking out. "Look how wet you are sweetheart." He takes his fingers, covered in precum and raises them to Steve's mouth. Steve instinctively takes them in, sucking the digits clean, loving the metallic taste that is so specifically Bucky. 

Bucky loses himself for a moment watching the blonde suck him clean, letting out a low moan that Steve loves so much. He takes his fingers back, lowering his hand to palm the outline of Steve' cock, eliciting another whimper. "Fuck, daddy...more please...please, fuck." He begs.

Steve's blue eyes find Bucky's as he lays open and exposed, desperately begging to be touched. Bucky smiles down at him. "Princess, you are such a dirty girl aren't you? Using those words with your daddy. You must be really desperate to be my little cockslut. Want daddy to play with that dirty little cunt? Do you want daddy’s cock?"

Bucky watches as a blush forms from Steve's face down his chest. He nods shyly, biting back a moan trapped in his throat.

Bucky moves his hand to Steve's cock, giving it a couple slow tugs over the panties, pulling out a few high whimpers from the blonde. "Tell me, Stevie. Tell me what you want, dollface." He keeps his hand on Steve’s cock as he speaks.

"I...i… want you, daddy.  I want your cock. I want you to play with…" Steve bites his lip again like he is trying to force back words he shouldn't let escape.

Bucky strokes lazily at Steve's cock. "Come on baby, what do you want? You want me to play with what?" His voice is low and sensual, trying to pull the words from his lover.

"I want you to play with my cunt, daddy." He whines as he bucks into the sensation of Bucky's excruciating slow strokes over his panties, only skin he was touching was the sensitive head above the waist band.

His mouth curls into a devilish grin. "Anything for my little girl. Can baby hold their legs up for daddy?" 

Steve nods as he lift his legs, holding them behind his knees. Bucky moves his hand down to the thin cloth covering Steve’s ass, pushing it aside so that he could get to what he wanted. Steve bites his lip, anticipantly.

Bucky takes Steve's ass in his hands, spreading him open to reveal his tight pink hole. He leans down, running his tongue slowly over the entrance.

"Daddy…" Steve moans out, rocking his hips down to try to get more pressure.

"Patience, sweetheart." Bucky tsks, flashing a smile up at the blonde. 

But then Steve...pouts...and honest to god, Bucky has never seen something as cute as his sweet little girl pouting like a brat. He likes it for another reason too. His Stevie must be getting comfortable finally, letting Bucky see him as a girl(when he wants it that way.) So comfortable that Steve let his...her guard down enough to be brat, to have fun like they do when Steve feels like a guy. So Bucky plays into it.

"Aw baby, does someone want to act bratty for daddy? Guess I better hurry up. And baby?"  Bucky says, as he strokes Steve’s clothed cock again, sending little waves of heat through Steve again."

"Yes…" his breath hitches. "Daddy?"

"No more pouting or you're going to get a spanking." He growls lowly.

Any other day, Steve might pout again, wanting daddy’s punishment but not today. He just wants Bucky inside him as fast as possible. So he just nods his head, and briefly closes his eyes, lashes fluttering against his cheeks.

"That's my good girl…" Bucky commends. He dips his head low again, running his tongue over the hole, lapping at the tight hole. He rotates between wide full tongue trails and tiny delicate kitten licks.

Steve is squirming and moaning like crazy.  Little whimpers keep escaping his mouth and if he wasn't  using his hand to hold his legs up, they would be twisted in Bucky's  hair. "Please daddy… more, please." He begs.

Bucky pulls away slightly to speak.  "Baby girl, your pussy is so perfect. Daddy loves tasting you. Do you like daddy’s tongue on your pretty pink pussy?"

 

Steve feels himself flush even hard, his whole body pink. "Fuck...yes. I love it…Buck…"

"What?" Bucky teases, shooting a devious grin up to Steve.

"Daddy…" Steve corrects.

"That's my girl." Before going back in, this time pressing the tip of his tongue against the opening, pushing in. Steve lets out a surprised gasp, a trail of expletives leave his mouth.

Bucky works his tongue in and around the opening, sporadically reaching up to stroke Steve’s leaking cock through the panties as he does.

"Daddy...daddy…" Steve breathes out between moans. "You...you need to stop, or I'll cum with just your tongue. I don’t  want to mess up my panties without your cock in me please…." He begs, the high pitched voice that left his mouth didn't sound like him. Bucky was pulling him apart at the seams.

Bucky swallowed a lump down before growling at Steve’s words, incredibly turned on by the blond. He suddenly stands up and Steve instinctively frowns, keening at the loss between his legs. But he keeps holding his legs up. After all, daddy didn’t tell him to stop. 

He lifts his head slightly to see what his lover was doing. He finds Bucky stripping out of his pants and boxers with a tube of lube he must have grabbed from the dresser. Bucky notices him staring and flashes him the softest smile. "Baby, you're ready for daddy?"

Steve smiles back. "Yes daddy."

Bucky's face shifts back to one of pure lust, his voice dropping. "I love how much of a little cock slut you are, princess. I bet your little pussy feels so empty without me there to fill it when I'm gone on missions." He walks back to bed and slips between Steves legs, taking the blonde’s legs and letting them rest on his shoulder, leaving Steve's hands free. Steve was grateful. Bucky’s words had gone right to his cock, and he had to squeeze the base of his cock to stop him from cuming right there.

Bucky covers a finger from his flesh hand in lube. In a deep voice he finishes his thoughts from before, while pushing against the tight entrance. "I bet you get so lonely when daddy is away. Tell me, princess. Do you sit there and play with yourself, lay on your back and push a finger in like this." He says as he pushes into its hilt.

Steve lets out a a low needy moan, nodding at Bucky’s words as he clenches around the digit inside him before relaxing. 

"Yea, you do. " Bucky concurs, slowly pulling the finger out and pushing back in, loosening up Steve. He pulls back out completely, but only to lube another finger, before pushing in again. "Then I bet you add another finger, scissoring your needy little cunt open, picturing my cock inside of you. I bet you use all the toys daddy bought you. I know you do. Want to know a secret, darling?"

[punkscowardschampions]

@Ro

*Ali regretted wearing the black jeans. Even if a skirt would have made her bike harder to navigate, (as if she actually cared about flashing ANYONE next week’s washing, pah!), it was definitely still the weather for bare legs and arms. Every new freckle on her tanned-for-her body a warming kiss from the sun, still going strong, though September was right round the corner. God, she hoped it wasn’t like this when they had to go back to School. As if first day back didn’t whack of oppression enough, the woollen jumpers and skirts would be literal stuffy suffocation. It felt so wrong to be in School in anything less than horrible, grey drizzle. School, she reckoned, should be about escape. Escaping your shit home life, getting in the dry and (relative) safe and having a free hot meal, if you needed it. She knew it had been that for her parents, and that they’d had to do the rest of the escaping themselves, unaided by the education system after 16; and that they had escaped so she and her siblings could use School to get wherever they wanted. Literally wherever. Not, desperate, digging your claws in and not letting go no matter how hard life bucks, escape. More...a natural progression. Up, up and away, as it were. But knowing, you were always in control of where you went. She was a fucking rocket queen. Her siblings fellow space cadets. A joyous, dreamy hot air balloon ride of a life, or exhilarating, white knuckles and teeth gritted, G force fast ascent to the stars, whatever was more your speed, like; all that mattered was that they were not plane crash survivors, like those that raised ‘em. Nothing in their life was forced hand or JUST for survival. So, call her spoilt, oh, she undoubtedly was, but unless School was offering Ali McKenna better than a day stretched out in the sun, (and it never was), it could hang. It had always failed to be stimulating; and now she’d found her tribe of other weirdos, weirdness unable to be quashed by the buttoned-to-the-top polos and sack jumpers, they could definitely think of better ways to spend 7 hours a day. She shook her head, Home coming into view as she veered right across the quiet cul-de-sac road and mounted the path they had chalked up a hundred times before. She hopped off her bike happily, brain no longer focused so pointlessly 9 days in the future; she was firmly (and arguably as uselessly) focused on the various childhood summers past as she scuffed her trainers along the oh-so familiar, cracked paths, weeds defiant and fucking beautiful. Masterpieces in dusty rainbow pigment, only to be washed away the next day by the fleeting rain (’cos it always seemed perma-sunshine when you looked back, didn’t it? but this was Ireland so she knew that couldn’t be true) or a grumpy old neighbour with nothing better to do. Games of curby where she kicked her brother’s arses, and every other neighbourhood boy brave enough to challenge her. And of course, the time she and Ro had decided to live their Summer like it was an American film about an idyllic childhood, and they sold lemonade from this very pavement. Naturally, Ali had decided to give the customers more bang for their buck, and spiked the lemonade with some vodka; Ro keeping nervous lookout for the parental unit, as she poured half a bottle’s worth in their punch bowl. Ali laughed to herself, a smirk spreading across her face, she couldn’t say her idea of what constituted a single, or even a triple, had got much better, to be honest. Christ, had Ma been embarrassed when the old bird from next door who nearly choked to death on her seemingly innocent glass ‘o lemonade rapped on the door, horrified as much as she was enraged at being spiked by a seven year old. But even she couldn’t fully hold back her laughter when Da found out, his roaring laughter was always infectious, especially to Ma, though she protested with a well-aimed smack and a ‘IT’S NOT FUCKING FUNNY, FEARGHAL!’ Good times. This Summer had been pretty good craic, what with the holiday that eventually got going and delivered on its promises of being ‘fun for all the family’. And it only promised to get better. Now she was off shift, smelling like strong coffee and a day on her feet in the heat, the 3rd day of mayhem could officially begin. She was buzzing. She had big, big plans but she had one more thing to sort before she hunted down her boy to brief each other on what chaos they felt most needed to be caused tonight. She didn’t have to search long for her target; on her tiptoes, a cursory peep over the fence, (being careful not to lean on it as Rocky had barrelled into it the other day and now it was barely standing on the wonk like, never mind up straight), revealed her sister, form shaded by the big tree, sunlight glittering patchy through the canopy, Ro made a leopard by the light seeking her out through the shade. Ro was bent at her minuscule waist, carefully rolling up her yoga mat, hair stuck down with sweat, beads of trickling down her concave stomach. Ali bit her lip. Her sister was so small. There was nothing inherently intimate or sexual about seeing her like this, not even. They did yoga together all the time, for Christ’s sake. It wasn’t like that, it was the fact she had been watching her without her knowing, it made Ali feel queasy now, given what she wanted to broach with the other girl. He’d seen her like this now. But more. Less clothes, and far more vulnerable than a girl being watched by someone who loved her so dearly, someone with nothing but love, no agenda, no bullshit...Of course, it was always going to happen. She knew. And she had known it was going to happen soon. As soon as they got back. The other girl a ball of nervous energy, more than normal. The way she was looking at herself in their shared mirror in their shared room, looking at her whole body, taking stock, Ali knew she was assessing it as if she were him. Readying herself for the unknown with every slight swish of her hips as she left the house and looking up into her camera lens, eyes swimming with fear trying to glaze into sensuality, lips puckering with anticipation. And it wasn’t Ali’s place to ever try to stop it, she would never. But as the blonde swung open the creaky garden gate, orange rust staining her fingertips, letting herself be caught near red-handed, she felt the sadness you only felt when you knew something had happened to someone you loved,  something not necessarily bad but something BIG, and there was nothing you could have done to stop it. It was done, would always be done, it couldn’t be changed or taken back. She hoped it had been okay, would be okay, and would never become a regret. She deserved that much, if not so much more. She had to let her know, let her sister know that whatever the case may be, she was always here for her and would do whatever she could in the here and now and the future, if she needed her to. Wordlessly apologising for not being able to be there for her then, that it was something she had to do alone. Ali breathed out, making her way over, keeping her gait as confident and casual as it always was. No matter how she felt, it didn’t matter, you know? She’d be there for her, however Ro needed her to be. She’d be her and she’d be her. The way it always was. Some things were too important to ever be destroyed. Especially by a boy who didn’t mean to, really, he just had a bad habit. Maybe he could change, could be different for Ro. If anyone deserved his efforts, it was her, after-all. Ali waved her copper-tipped hands with a sheepish grin, reaching the end of the garden and Ro, she rested her back on the tree, her tree, every knot in its bark so comfortingly familiar as they entered this brave new world.* Thinking of starting a hot summer trend whilst I still can, wha’d’ya reckon, Posie? *She gently walked herself down, using the tree as support, to sit at its base as their home sat at the base of the Wicklow mountains. She patted the ground next to her, pulling clumps of the dehydrated grass from its roots and tossing it aside. Clapping her hands on her thighs, she just did it.* So...No point me beating round the bush about this, is there? Prolonging any awkwardness. This need be the only awkwardness at all, we can leave it here right now, under the safety blanket of the leaves. But, do you want to talk about it? Because you can, we can. *She gives her a pointed look. But even this feels like overkill and she sticks her tongue out, giving herself a smack on the forehead for being weird about it. They were well-versed and lingual in each other’s languages by now. She knew her sister would know what she meant, she’d know what to do. Which was, of course, do exactly what you want to do, always. That was Ali’s motto.*