𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐂𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐘 !!
— haikyuu men as your boyfriend (ft. tsukki, tobio, hinata, kuroo, osamu, oikawa, & ushijima)
— a/n: in the midst of writing another fic (spoiler alert: it's kageyama), i've decided to rest my brain and give you an insight as to how the haikyuu men will be your boyfriend lol (lets pretend i didn't just insert my boyfriend's attitude in some of these dudes bc he is as sassy as tsukki and as obsessed with vball as kageyama)
tsukishima kei
- the type of boyfriend to close his fist when you try to hold his hand
- pretends he doesn't know you when you do something embarrassing
- greets you like he's annoyed but he actually isn't, he'll give your forehead a kiss after
- he's very supportive of your clothing, wear a bra and an underwear wherever you go– he wouldn't care. but when he senses the crowd isn't safe, he would constantly remind you to put a hand on your chest when you bend, or put a hand on your knee when you sig
- he gets flustered easily when you giggle whenever you see him use his phone without glasses and look like this -.-
- everyone says he's shy when it comes to pda. and that is so true. he would hold your hand but most of the time, you wrap your hand around his fucking pinky. he would occasionally wrap an arm around your shoulders, or you'd wrap your hands around his arm. kisses in public are chastised into cheeks or temples
- whenever you fight and you go to your room to sulk alone, he walks in without knocking, scooches on the bed beside you, and spoons you. it hurts him to see you cry even if you don't see it in his face, and he'll hold you in silence until you've gathered the courage to face him and talk about it
- biggest gift giver EVER
- he would literally get you anything that you want. you send him a pic of a dress and tell him you want it? he'll buy it for you even if you don't tell him to
- remembers every date of a special occasion, like first kiss, when you said yes to being his boyfriend, all that stuff
- when you're together for a long time, you don't talk that much yet you do your hobbies together. not because nothing's new and fun anymore, but because you've gotten so used to each other that the silence between you was comforting and filled with so much love.
- when you do talk though, you'd think he wouldn't indulge in whatever topic you ensue, but he would actually talk to you like it is the hottest tea in the century
- is a small spoon when he's so needy
- because of his love for strawberry shortcake, he actually knows how to bake it. you have it every weekend. and if he isn't so busy, you'd have it everyday.
- he taught you how to bake it *swoons*
- he smells like strawberries because he uses your perfumes all the time
kageyama tobio
- he smells the ball from far away
- like when you're both on a date or just hanging out outside, the minute he hears that exact sound of a volleyball bouncing on the ground, he will snap his head towards that direction
- LIKE A DOG
- i hc that he knows how to play the piano, so he has one in his room. when you hang out, you lay on the bed and he plays whatever song that comes into his mind
- he's so awkward even if you guys have been together for a long time
- on the court he's all badass but he's actually a loser LMAO
- biggest loser ever but he's so cute though
- like when he asked you out on a date, he was bowing and yelling "PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME" like he's so desperate and pathetic it's so adorable
- he's a good bf tho even if sometimes he's too preoccupied with volleyball. it's you above everything else so if you called him in the middle of practice, best believe he's running to you in a minute
- he's such a heavy sleeper. he sleeps with his eyes open sometimes and it creeps you out to wake up in the middle of the night with him staring at you with half lidded eyes
- when you fight he sometimes cries and will ask u to hold him
- doesn't know social cues sometimes you feel like you're mothering him but in a good way
- awkward kisser too sometimes he forgets to close his eyes
- when he takes a shit, it's always hard. like his poop is hard, so you hear him grunting in the bathroom
- he smells like metal sometimes but when he's at home he smells like markers its kind of addicting
hinata shoyo
- fucking TONE DEAF
- sucks at cooking, prefers your food over anyone else's
- loves cuddling he's such a tiny clingy baby you just want to eat him up and keep him in your stomach
- when you're sad, he goes out of his way to make you smile, even if it includes him hetting hurt
- compliments you ALL the time like he's all "wow baby you're so good at this and that you're so amazing please marry me"
- sticks to your side at every social gathering and will hold your hand the whole time
- he will feel like a literal baby if you're taller than him, and he LOVES taller women i so believe that
- when a match lasts for more than 3 sets, hinata is extremely tired and will pass out the minute he steps foot into your home
- he smells really good, like his skin smells amazing
- will do skincare with u bc he's sometimes as overdramatic as you when he sees red bumps on his face
- loves to give and receive a massage
- he's so chronically online too bc he's influenced by kenma so he's always up to date with all the trends and music. but he's also incredibly stupid with technology
- his phone always overheats
- twitches randomly in his sleep and sometimes he's so messy in bed he ends up pushing you off
- loves to take baths with you and let you play with his hair hehe
- the softest boy ever too like you would both always have a kitten staying in your home until someone can foster or adopt them because there's always a lot of sick strays outside of your home
- has a sweet tooth. his favorite is cotton candy
kuroo tetsuro
- he's actually emo sometimes
- sometimes because not only with his stupid bangs, but because when you're not giving him attention, he will play loud music that will get your attention, sit on the couch, and cross his arms and pout until you look at him
- he's one of those people that will get mad when you touch his hair
- smells like soap
- he treats you like a princess though like when he brings you to his parties he will bring you EVERYWHERE
- like a bodyguard too, will bring all your stuff even if they're heavier than his gym bag
- you're the one to always patch things between him and kenma when they fight because they're like literal children
- asks for your help to get kenma to eat when he plays too much
- a whiny bitch too like he's the type of person that's actually so clean so when he encounters a room that's dirty or a bathroom he thinks is too wet or has too much grime in the tiles, he will gag and pinch his nose (same goes for tsukishima)
- has a good sense in fashion, he dresses you A LOT
- puts your bag on your shoulder and scolds you like a mom
- scared of cockroaches
- literally would climb up a wall and sob when he sees one
- and he's such a good captain too like sometimes you'd see him talking to his teammates and give them advice outside of volleyball. he's their big brother
- he's your study buddy all the time. when he's not too preoccupied with volleyball, you're both studying together
- he cherishes your accomplishments and is always present at your events
- he's close with your friends that sometimes you see him playfully hump your boy-space-friends and moan like he's riding them
- used to be kenma's discord kitten too
- one time, in his drunken state, he showed you a picture of him and kenma in maid outfits during one of kenma's gaming streams, because they were both drunk and in lock down
- whenever you see the matches or hinata, tsukki, or kageyama, kuroo feels proud and tears up at how much they've grown
- loves kids. wants to plant a baby in you.
miya osamu
- when you wake him up in the middle of the night and ask for food, he WILL cook for you
- smells like fried chicken but its alright it smells good either way
- when you go to work, he always packs your lunch
- when you fight, he knows just what to cook to cheer you up
- he loves food so much that you can't remember the last time you haven't eaten, because he ALWAYS feeds you
- when he cooks at home, he wears a pretty pink apron just for you
- listens to music when he cooks, and even when he showers too
- when you have a big social event, he'll volunteer to give a portion of food in your event or actually cater for them
- when he cooks something that you don't end up liking, he is DISTRAUGHT; will do anything for you to like it again because there's no way that he can't feed you something delicious
- sometimes, when atsumu comes over, they both play volleyball INSIDE the house and atsumu sometimes gets too much, but before you could scold him, osamu's already on his ass
- as aforementioned, always expect midnight snacks
- he's like that dude on tiktok who can make everything out of chocolate, except his is onigri. or, well, he can shape anything made out of rice
- one time, on your anniversary, you woke up to a rice shaped like a life-sized teddy bear and it was actually so cool
- you have your own spot in his shop
- and he actually let you design the blueprint for his shop because he wants it to be yours too :(
oikawa tooru
- sometimes you don't know if he's your boyfriend or an opponent at a beauty contest
- he values skincare more than you do like he's buying face masks and exfoliators and everything and you caught him one time sleeping in one of those peel off mask things
- and he cries when you take off those peel off masks
- smells like rich perfume that hurts your nose
- but oikawa takes volleyball seriously. when he lost to karasuno, you caught him sobbing in his bed when you came to check up on him, and he let you hold him until he fell asleep
- that was also when he fell in love with you lol
- before you guys dated, you two were so close that tne girls actually stopped approaching him one time because they thought you were officially his girlfriend after he held your hand during a field trip to the museum because you almost got lost
- sometimes oikawa doesn't know who he's more scared of: you or iwaizume? bc both of you are always on his ass making fun of him and scolding him
- but he cherishes you so much though like he's treating you like his certified baby girl all the time— you're getting fucking princess treatment every single day. you don't remember the feeling of a bag in your hand because he's always CARRYING it
- oikawa is proud to take up the role as your assistant
- and he's also just as sassy as you are
- he's also rich so like you're always on adventures and on dates outside. but sometimes he likes to stay at home and cook for you even if it tastes like shit
- a jealous bitch
- one time a guy asked you for directions and oikawa told him to "turn right and then you'll see a mirror that tells you you're a piece of shit"
- you scold him after that. he doesn't care
ushijima wakatoshi
- bad at social cues
- he's like an old man and you're his social media manager bc why is he texting everyone through EMAIL when sms exists already
- there was that time when he sent you a nude and it went "was thinking of you. I miss you — Ushijima Wakatoshi" AND LIKE??
- he's literally "i'm so happy for you" o_o
- and he is though its just that he's always so dazed sometimes you think he's a robot
- he's a living baby though like he's one to be honest about something that he doesn't realize what he says and you feel embarrassed for him too so you're just kind of like sweetly telling him that it's not nice to say that someone smells like cigarettes or that their breath stinks
- one time, when you and tendou surprise him, you're both caught off guard when he actually jumps– but the thing is that he accidentally hit you with his arm due to his reflexes and you swear you got a concussion after that
- he LOVES CUDDLES and he loves sniffing you and sometimes hes a sub
- smells like rich cologne that actually smells good
- takes you with him everywhere and he has to be with you all the time or else he'll cry his ass out
- decides to be matrilocal too and take your last name when you get married bc he just loves you so much
- before you guys got together, he was always so stoic and silent. and he's so silent that sometimes he suddenly appears in front of you and talks to you like he didn't just almost make you shit your pants
- he also doesnt switch out his phone so when you're in the year 2024, he still has an iphone 7 that's too big for his hand
- his bff is tendou so he's always at your home too and they're watching a bunch of animes and you're just sitting between wakatoshi's legs like you're his stuffed animal
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—sugar rush.
pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader
genre: angst, fluff, pining, non-idol au, best friend’s brother au
word count: 7.4k
summary: hyunjin’s heart had been broken by you more than once, and still, he refused to let you go through your own heartbreak alone.
warnings: many mentions of heartbreak, break up, breakdown, and a small mention of weight loss (because of heartbreak).
author’s note: she’s here! tbh i didn’t plan for it to be this long, i wanted to lightly mention hyunjin’s past heartbreaks but once i started writing i couldn’t stop lol. i hope this gives you guys some more insight on their story and feelings. if anyone casually comes across this one shot, it is part four of my social media au “heart out”. i hope you all enjoy! don’t forget to reblog and/or leave a comment if you do<3
The first time Hyunjin saw you, he was only seventeen.
Yeji was in her second year of university and was still living at their family home. She would often tell them about her best friend she made back in first year, and she must’ve shown them one or two pictures at some point, yet for some reason Hyunjin never really got interested enough to actually pay attention — being too busy trying to achieve good grades in the classes he was struggling with the most. After all, after that year he would only have one more to make it to a good university and live up to his parents’ expectations, since his older sister had made it to one of the best universities in Seoul and they were expecting just the same from him.
So, when Yeji called their mother one day and asked if her best friend could stay with them that weekend since she wasn’t from Seoul and was having a few issues with her dorm, Hyunjin didn’t think much of it. If anything, he had rolled his eyes over the thought of having to hide in his room and not being able to raid the kitchen whenever he wanted, not to run into his sister’s stranger friend.
But then you crossed the door later that night, with a shy smile curving up your lips as you introduced yourself to all three of them and thanked them for allowing you to stay the weekend, and suddenly he felt like wanting to raid the kitchen every five minutes that weekend, just in hopes of running into you and getting a glimpse of your face.
One look at you was all it took for him to get the biggest crush on someone yet, and one single weekend into meeting you was all it took for him to know that the immediate infatuation he felt towards you would only grow from then on.
Now, being only three months away from turning twenty four, he could only give his seventeen year old self a pat on the shoulder because of how well he had judged the future of his feelings for you. That, and to comfort his younger self as well, because, God, nothing could have prepared him for what was about to come his way.
Six years had passed in the blink of an eye since then, and here he was, still loving you from the sidelines.
And in those six years of loving you, he had experienced heartbreak three times. All three of them, by you.
You, who didn’t even know he had feelings for you.
You, who didn’t see him as anything other than Yeji’s little brother — not to say your little brother.
You, who had grown closer to him at one point, only to pull away when you fell for someone else.
Hyunjin wasn’t stupid, he knew how the world and feelings worked. He knew a twenty year old wouldn’t fall for a seventeen year old who was in his second to last year of high school — at least not a sane one, and you were very much sane, he found out right away.
Then again, although not stupid, he was still naive. Which is why he believed everything would change when he turned nineteen and became legal.
He spent his last two years of high school focusing on his studies, not even looking at his classmates or at any other girl at school.
He would only see you from time to time, whenever Yeji invited you over, which wasn’t that often given the two of you would much rather hang out alone at your dorm. Most of the news he got from you were because he asked Yeji about you, or, if he was lucky enough, because his parents asked about you when he just happened to be there.
He would also often find himself going through your social media in hopes of you having posted a picture that showed your face. And, sometimes, he would be brave enough to comment on your posts — just casual little comments that would leave him smiling for the rest of the day whenever you replied.
You didn’t interact much back then, and he was okay with it. Granted, he wished you talked more, and he really fucking wished he got to see you more often, but he could deal with it, because once he entered university and turned nineteen, everything would change.
But then, by the time he was nineteen, you were about to turn twenty two. He was only starting university, and you were already in your last year of it.
He refused to let go of the small pinch of hope he still had in him, however. He had made it to your and Yeji’s university, after all, and although he didn’t choose your same career path, he would use being in the same campus to his advantage.
He started by asking for your help regarding small assignments. Whether they were actually hard or easy as hell, risking looking dumb to you, he would reach out and ask for your help. Getting a simple explanation that wouldn’t take you longer than two minutes would make his entire day. You never judged him when it came to ‘dumb questions’, and sometimes, if he was lucky enough and you had some time in your hands, you would take him for coffee — the intention being to properly help him out with his assignments, yet most of the time it would turn out in the two of you just hanging out and having a good time together.
Then, deciding the few times you got to hang out at a café weren’t enough, Hyunjin became more straightforward. He realised there were days you would stay at the library while Yeji went home, as she found studying at home to be more productive, unlike you, and it so conveniently aligned with the days his schedule ended the latest. He used to despise that one last class with a passion, until he found out you were at campus alone by then. So, he took it upon himself to text you as soon as the class ended, asking if you were done and offering to walk you to your dorm.
At first you hesitated, not wanting to take up even more of his commute time, since you lived on campus and he didn’t, but after a couple of times it became your thing, to the point Hyunjin wouldn’t even text you beforehand anymore and would straight up head over to the library; whether to pick you up as you were already placing your books inside your bag, or to sit down next to you and do whatever —mainly staring at you without you noticing— while he waited for you to be done.
Sometimes he would have lunch with you and Yeji. It wasn’t very usual, since he did have his own group of friends, but there were times when he felt like spending some extra time with you, and his sister being there was a good excuse to do so without seeming too clingy.
Some days you would text back and forth. Some others you would text him something that reminded you of him and vice versa. And some others you wouldn’t text at all, but he would find a way to see you.
Before he knew it, Hyunjin grew used to talking to you every single day. And he was okay with it, because by then it had already become natural and you seemed to enjoy his company just as much as he enjoyed yours.
He didn’t get into the same university as you and Yeji just to be with you, of course, but fuck, was he over the moon now that he had multiple excuses to hang out with you.
He wanted to believe that you were at least beginning to move past the innocent image you had of him — the one of him being Yeji’s little brother, and therefore needing protection. He made himself believe that deep down you were starting to feel something for him, even if you didn’t notice. And he was willing to make you notice.
But then the second semester came, and halfway through it he felt you slip away.
Hyunjin didn’t know when or why you stopped hanging out, but he hardly got to see you anymore.
He didn’t think much of it at first. Your schedules were very different now, and he thought that was the reason. You were on your last semester and your times just didn’t coincide like they used to. Simple as that.
You still helped him out whenever he came to you with questions regarding one of his classes, you still smiled ever so sweetly whenever you saw him, you still reached out to check up on him.
But you wouldn’t wait for him to walk you home anymore, and you wouldn’t really text that much either — your conversations going from texting each other the most random of things throughout the day, to you only answering his questions regarding his classes, which, to be honest, were only Hyunjin’s miserable attempts to initiate small talk. You just didn’t seem to check your chats anymore, which he found to be quite odd considering that, whenever he saw you, you would be staring at your phone with the biggest of smiles as you typed away.
It wasn’t until Yeji slipped up one evening, when their parents asked about you at dinner, that he found out the reason behind your sudden distance from him and the giddy smiles you’d get by looking at your phone.
“I haven’t seen Y/N around in a while,” their mother brought up. “How’s she been?”
“Oh, she’s doing well. Just… a bit busy, I guess” Yeji replied, taking a small bite of her food.
“You should invite her over for dinner this weekend” their dad proposed this time. “We were thinking of having a barbecue”.
“I think she’s going out with Mingyu on Saturday” Yeji tilted her head, pensively — completely oblivious to the way Hyunjin had just frozen next to her. “Maybe she could come over on Sunday for lunch? I need to hear all the details about her date after all”.
Clunk!
Everyone turned to Hyunjin, who remained frozen still, yet the metal spoon he had previously been holding in his hand was now laying on the floor, having slipped from his fingers the moment the word ‘date’ had made it past Yeji’s lips.
He quickly picked it up and placed it back on the table. Everyone went back to their previous conversation, like nothing happened. Like his heart didn’t feel like every single inch of it was being pierced right through.
You were seeing someone.
He was in love with you. He was finally of age and somewhat in the same stage in life as you. He was doing everything in his power to get closer to you and eventually win you over.
And you were seeing someone.
That night, Hyunjin went to sleep with a heavy chest and a buzzing head. Unable to understand why it hurt so much and why it wouldn’t go away.
It was later that month, on new year’s eve more specifically, that he finally knew what the heavy chest and the annoying pinch in his heart were hinting at.
“Y/N isn’t coming this year?” He asked his sister when he finally got the courage to, impatiently staring at the clock on the kitchen wall that pointed at the numbers 22:56.
“Oh my God, no, I forgot to tell you” Yeji laughed, placing her drink down on the table. “Mingyu asked her to be his girlfriend today. More like last night, but it was already past midn—”
Everything else after that was muffled by the sound of his heart breaking.
The sound inside his chest was so clear to him, so deafening, followed by an ache a hundred times more painful than the one he felt when he found out that you were merely seeing someone, that there wasn’t any room for him to ponder what it was that he was feeling.
Heartbreak. It was clear as day.
Agonizing, infernal heartbreak.
That night, it was followed by quiet tears, as he lied alone in bed and welcomed the new year with a broken heart.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
The second heartbreak came a year and a half later, when he was torn between trying his best to move on and still not letting go of the nearly gone hope of the two of you being together at some point.
You and Yeji were in her room, and he was downstairs helping their mother set up the table for dinner.
He was trying his best to ignore the fact that you were there. He wasn’t ignoring you, of course — he could never. But you being there made him unable to focus on anything else, and he needed to focus on literally anything else but you.
Ever since you and Mingyu became official, you hardly ever interacted anymore. All his attempts during his first year of uni seemed pointless by then, long forgotten. He ignored the reason, but he guessed it had to do with you only making time for your boyfriend now. As far as he knew, the only two friends you actually made an effort to keep contact with were Yeji and Chan — all the rest, he had not heard from since a while ago. Then again, it wasn’t like you talked that much anymore for him to actually know anything about your life other than the bits he’d get from Yeji whenever she either slipped up in front of him or straight up gushed to him about you.
So, it wasn’t hard to understand that he’d be a little uneasy, jumpy even, whenever you visited.
And it wouldn’t take a genius either to imagine how much he dreaded the moment his mother asked him to go up to his sister’s bedroom and call the both of you to go downstairs for dinner.
But orders were orders, and so he made his way to the second floor, dragging his feet all the way up the stairs.
Before he could reach the last stair, however, he heard your voice coming out of Yeji’s room, being followed by his sister’s laugh as the two of you were now apparently standing in the hallway, about to make your way downstairs before he could tell you to.
He thought of just turning around and heading back into the kitchen, since he could only guess you were heading over there and therefore he didn’t need to tell you to anymore, but the words he heard coming from your mouth made him stand still in his place.
“Honestly, I can’t believe he took me to his hometown and I met his family already. They’re all so nice it felt like a dream” you beamed.
“Kinda makes you want to become a part of it?” Yeji teased you.
“Yeah…” your voice came out rather shy, and Hyunjin could tell you were smiling. “I barely talk to my family and they were so welcoming it made me feel at home. I don’t know, Yeji, I’m so in love with him and meeting his family made me realise how bad I want him to father my children”.
Hyunjin wanted to leave. He didn’t want to hear anymore. But his feet betrayed him.
“Yeah, let’s get some financial stability before that, shall we?” Yeji chuckled, footsteps sounding closer and closer to him.
“Shut up” you laughed. “Not now of course, but Mingyu’s it for me, I’m sure”.
Move. Hwang Hyunjin, leave.
“I guess I’m waiting for my invitation to your wedding then?”
You don’t wanna hear it. Move!
“Oh, I’m definitely marrying him one day” you giggled. “And you’ll be on bridesmaid duty, so if anything you’ll be the one helping me with the invitations”.
There it was again, the unbearable pain in his chest again.
If he were holding a spoon again, he would’ve dropped it all the way down the stairs by now. Hell, he felt like he could fall down the stairs anytime by now, as his knees felt like they were about to give up any second.
“Oh?” Yeji’s voice brought him back to his senses when it was too late for him to escape — the two of you now right in front of him, as he was blocking the way. “What are you doing here?”
“I was just coming up to call you guys downstairs” he replied in a heartbeat, not sure how he managed to speak without his voice breaking. “Dinner’s ready”.
Yeji nodded, giving you a quick glance before Hyunjin squeezed against the wall so he could make some room for the two of you to start walking down the stairs.
“Aren’t you coming?” You asked him, turning around midway, when Yeji was already on the first floor and you realised Hyunjin wasn’t moving at all.
“Uh, yeah” he managed to blurt out. “Just… need to get something from my room first. I’ll go right down”.
You nodded, sensing something was wrong, yet not finding it in you to ask him what it was.
This heartbreak was somehow worse than the first one, Hyunjin decided once in his room. First, he couldn’t cry and let it out until he fell asleep, managing to keep it from everyone else like he did back then, for his parents, his sister and you were waiting downstairs for him, and he was sure his mum would burst into his room within the next five minutes if he wasn’t with them by then. And, second, it felt final. The first heartbreak came when you started dating someone else, but this one was because you decided you had found your person, the very one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and it wasn’t him.
A few hot tears rolled down his face, and he harshly wiped them off before taking a deep breath and making his way back down, not ready at all to face you of all people, yet knowing well enough there was no hiding this time.
The rest of the evening was a blur to him. The only thing he remembered was remaining silent and hardly touching his food, later excusing himself when he felt like he couldn’t take it anymore, like he would break down right then and there if he stayed one more second in your presence, and then nothing.
A blur.
Any small glimpse of hope he managed to keep that past year and a half was now gone.
He couldn’t afford to be torn between moving on and waiting for you anymore, because you had made your choice, and it wasn’t him. It would never be him.
Your heart belonged to Mingyu, and he would have to finally come to terms with it.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
Two other years had passed since Hyunjin decided to move on from you for good, and still, he was hardly there just yet.
He wanted to believe he was over you. He told everyone —that being Han and Minho, the only ones who knew he ever had feelings for you— that he was over you. But deep down, he knew he wasn’t.
In those two years, he tried to give relationships a try. Both times, unsuccessful — because no matter how much he progressed, any time he saw you, he would go right back to stage one.
His first girlfriend was Seoyun, a girl he met through a dating app. Not his proudest moment, but he needed to get over you and he needed to get over you fast. His intention was to go for something casual. Just date, date and date, as many people as he could, until he could finally move on from you; but he soon realised that casual flings just weren’t for him. If he wanted to stop loving you, he needed to love someone else, and Seoyun seemed like the best candidate for it.
They lasted three months, and although he tried his best, he couldn’t fall for her. Not in the way he fell for you. Definitely not in the way you had fallen for Mingyu, who was still getting all your devoted love as you seemed to be happier together by the day.
His second girlfriend was Nara, a girl from his calculus class. This time, she chased after him, and after a while he figured why not give her a chance. His feelings for you weren’t lessening any more and neither were yours for Mingyu, so he needed someone to help him get rid of them.
He realised it was unfair to her, but he tried. Just like with Seoyun, he really tried to love her. She was great. She was pretty, she was funny, and she was head over heels for him. She met you outside his family home one day when you and his sister were visiting and you loved her, to the point of proposing a ‘triple date’, including Chan and Yeji, since they were just then beginning to date. Yeji met her too, of course, and loved her as well.
And yet, he, the one person who so desperately needed to love her, couldn’t.
He was actually sure the day you met Nara was the moment he realised it wasn’t working out and it would never work out — when you proposed a triple date and he could only think of how fucking much it would hurt to sit there and watch you be all lovey dovey with your boyfriend, while his own girlfriend was right there with him.
They had recently turned five months together when it happened, and that was as much as it lasted.
Hyunjin gave up on dating entirely after that, at least until he could get one hundred percent over you. He couldn’t just try and —unsuccessfully— force himself to love someone else while he still loved you, for in the end he’d only end up using them for his own benefit, and he hated himself for it.
He could only put his faith in time now. People always said that time heals it all, and he was really counting on it to let go of you.
But then time passed and instead of it healing his heart, it broke yours.
You and Mingyu broke up overnight, and although Hyunjin should’ve been hopeful, happy even, over the news, he realised his lingering feelings for you were very much alive when, to his own surprise, he felt his heart break for a third time.
He was at Yeji’s that evening — being too bored at his shared place with Han, he decided to annoy his sister for a while and be bored at hers instead.
Hyunjin was looking for a snack in her kitchen, when a knock on the door caught his attention. He wondered whether he should ignore it since Yeji was taking a shower and he most definitely didn’t want to deal with strangers right then, but ultimately he walked over to it and looked through the peephole when the knocks became louder, only to see you on the other side of it.
The smile that formed on his face at the simple sight of you was gone the moment he opened the door and took in how miserable you looked.
If that alone told him something was wrong, when you didn’t perk up like you always did whenever you saw him and barely even acknowledged him as you made your way inside, he knew you weren’t thinking straight right then.
“Um… are you okay?” He carefully asked, closing the door behind him as he turned to you.
“Is Yeji home?” You asked instead, voice breaking as you looked around in search of your friend.
Hyunjin nodded. “She’s taking a shower. Shouldn’t take long”.
You nodded, and although you said nothing, the way your chest heavily moved up and down told him you were hyperventilating.
“Y/N…” he called you quietly, almost scared to ask. “Are you okay?”
Again, you said nothing.
“Do you need anything?” He came closer to you.
You shook your head no, blinking rapidly. “Yeji. I need Yeji”.
“Okay, okay…” he said as tenderly as he could. “She’s coming, just—“
“Can you tell her to hurry up? I’m just…” you took a deep, shaky breath; one that made him instantly alert over how clear it was you were finding it hard to breathe. He panicked when you grabbed your chest. “Oh, God, I’m—”
“Hey, I’m here” he said, grabbing your hands and holding them tight as ever. “What happened? Tell me what’s wrong”.
He could see it in your eyes that you wanted to tell him, but although you opened your mouth to let him know what was wrong, no sound came out of it and you ended up just closing it again.
You weren’t able to speak, so he did it for you.
“Did something happen with Mingyu?” He sounded almost scared to ask.
That seemed to hit the nail on the head.
You looked up at him, and he could only grow worried, infuriated, over all kinds of thoughts that ran through his head the moment your eyes welled up with tears.
“Did he do something to you?!”
Your bottom lip quivered.
The first tear fell.
“Hyunie…”
Then you broke down.
Burying your face in his chest, you tugged tightly at his hoodie as you finally let yourself go.
Although stunned and still trying to comprehend the whole situation, Hyunjin didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you, scared you’d collapse anytime by then.
It wasn’t like any other cry he’d heard before.
This was different. Your sobs sounded like you were in excruciating pain, like it was hard to breathe, and your chest trembling against his own with every cry of yours felt like it was being ripped open from the inside.
He could only hold you closer, somehow trying to ground you, but it was of no use.
“It’s okay, it’s okay…” he repeated over and over, almost inaudibly under your sobs.
You tried to speak, either to explain what happened or to simply let it all out, but you couldn’t.
You were choking on your own words, and Hyunjin felt his own eyes well up with tears as he hurt for you and felt hopeless as ever, being able to do nothing else but run his hand up and down your back in a poor attempt to soothe you.
When your cries wouldn’t stop after a minute, he whispered a small ‘come here’ before he gently guided you towards the sofa. Slowly, not to break away from your hold, he managed to sit both of you down on it.
Your face instinctively moved up from his chest to the crook of his neck, where you hid it as you tried to calm down your sobs — finding comfort in his familiar sweet scent and in the gentle touch of his fingers running through your hair.
“What did he do?” He asked when your sobs seemed to quiet down.
You shook your head no, tugging harder at the fabric of his hoodie.
“Y/N, please…” he begged, pulling you slightly away, only enough to look into your reddened eyes. “I need to know what he did so I can do something about it”.
“You c-can do nothing about it, b-because it was his—his choice” you sniffled.
“What do you mean?”
Your bottom lip trembled, and for a moment there he regretted asking you that. But he needed to know.
Then, you took a deep breath, opening your mouth for a second and then closing it — the words you were about to say being harder to voice out than you expected.
“He left me,” you spoke in a whisper after a few seconds, and Hyunjin felt his world stop. “He d-doesn’t love me anymore. He loves her. He left me for her, for the one girl I—”
You choked on your own words once more, being unable to speak over your sobs anymore, and so he just pulled you back to his chest, allowing you to just cry until you let it all out.
He hoped you couldn’t feel his blood boiling, because he was seeing red right then.
How dare he break your heart? How fucking dare he leave you for someone else?
He had been wishing to be in Mingyu’s shoes for years now, and he, who had you all to himself in every single way Hyunjin ever wished to, didn’t feel like it anymore?
For years he had unsuccessfully been trying to stop loving you because he knew he couldn’t have you, and Mingyu, the one who had you, stopped loving you? Just like that? Because of someone else?
Who could even fucking compare to you?!
“What happened?!” Yeji bursted into the living room, snapping him out of his thoughts — only a towel covering her poorly dried body and her wet hair leaving a trail of drops behind her. “I heard—”
Hyunjin motioned for her to keep quiet, silently letting her know that he got you and she could go change before coming back to comfort you. It seemed like it would be a long night after all, and neither of them were getting any sleep until you were better.
Many times he had wished Mingyu and you would break up, but not like this. Not with you feeling so worthless and taking the worst part of it.
Not with you feeling the same kind of pain he had felt two times by now, and making him feel it a third time while at it. Because seeing the person he loved with all his being in so much pain, could only break his heart all over again.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
After that night, Hyunjin felt himself grow protective over you.
So, the moment he read your texts, the very ones that mentioned ‘Mingyu’, ‘spamming’ and ‘losing it’ in the span of three paragraphs, he knew he was coming to you. Now more than ever, when your two best friends were out of town and he was pretty much the only person left you had.
His mind was filled with the night you broke down in his arms, and he’d be damned if you ever broke down just like that again and he wasn’t there to hold you.
He knew what the past few months had been like for you, he had been there through it all. From the weeks you isolated yourself and lost weight due to the lack of appetite you experienced through your slump, to your self-loathing ways and your complete loss of self-confidence when it came to showing yourself to the world and comparing yourself to everyone else. Because one thing was to be broken up with, and a very different one was to be left for someone else.
He, Yeji and Chan had been there for you through it all, trying their best to bring you back up and finally feeling like they were succeeding at it.
He felt nauseous over the simple thought of you crumbling down all over again, all because Mingyu decided it would be appropriate to text you regarding your relationship after he was the one to break your heart in the first place.
Therefore, Hyunjin only felt like he could breathe when you were in front of him, having opened the door not even five seconds after he knocked on it, and you looked okay. Not perfect, as the red shade in your eyes and nose let him know you had indeed cried a few minutes ago, but okay regardless. Better than you were the last time you lost it over your ex.
“You okay?” He asked tenderly, entering your place when you moved aside to invite him in.
You nodded, closing the door behind you and waiting for him to take off his shoes before guiding him to the living room, where he found a red blanket lying on your couch and the third season of Attack on Titan playing on the TV in front of it — as expected.
“You really didn’t have to come, Hyunie…” you mumbled. “Talking on the phone would’ve done it, I didn’t mean to bother you”.
“Will you just… stop saying you’re a bother?” He couldn’t help but sound annoyed. “You’re not”.
“But—”
“You’re not a bother, Y/N. I wanted to come here. I want to be here, okay?”
“Okay…”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, I just…” he sighed, coming closer to you. “You really worried me”.
“Sor—”
“And don’t you dare say sorry for worrying me” he warned you with a taunting smirk this time.
The corners of your mouth curved up at that, shaking your head in amusement before you quietly motioned for him to sit down on the couch.
Hyunjin didn’t wait to do as told, making the blanket aside so he wouldn’t sit on it, and revealing your phone under it for a moment before you took a seat next to him.
“Has he texted you anymore?” He couldn’t help but ask.
“No,” your answer gave him some peace of mind. “I said I’d block him otherwise, so he hasn’t insisted”.
Hyunjin opened his mouth to say something, but ultimately remained quiet. Still, you had managed to notice and didn’t let it slip.
“What?”
“Nothing” he shook his head.
“You were about to say something”.
“I just,” he shrugged. “Thought he’d be already blocked by now”.
You smiled weakly, grabbing your phone and placing it on your coffee table. “It’s delusional, isn’t it?” Your eyes fixed back on him. “I told him the only reason I haven’t blocked him is because we both work for the same company, but honestly I just haven’t been able to bring myself to do it”.
“It’s not delusional…” he fidgeted with the ends of your blanket. “It hasn’t been that long since you guys broke up after all”.
“I know… but given the way he left me and how I’ve seen him and Hayun together at work multiple times, I feel like I should hate him, or at least not love him anymore”.
“Oh…” he lowered his head, hurting at the idea of you still loving your ex. “So you’re still…”
“I’m trying not to,” you confessed — just like Hyunjin, refusing to say it out loud. “It’s just hard, but I’ll get there at some point”.
He nodded. “I can only imagine how hard must it be…”
“Was it hard for you?”
“Huh?”
“With Nara,” you clarified. “Getting over her…”
“Oh,” he bit his lip. “Not really…”
“It wasn’t?” You tilted your head in surprise.
He shrugged. “We only lasted five months…”
“Which is a lot?!”
He smiled bittersweetly. Sure, maybe to some people it was a lot, but it was nothing compared to the six years he had been in love with you.
Your question was being asked about the wrong person, because getting over Nara wasn’t hard at all, given the fact that he was never in love with her to begin with. Getting over you, however? Fuck, there was nothing harder than that.
He could only hope and pray that wouldn’t be the case for you with Mingyu.
“We ended it on good terms” he let you know. “We just weren’t working out. It was for the best, so there wasn’t much grieving, if I’m honest”.
“Hm…” you quietly lamented, staring down at your lap. “I mean, I’m glad you didn’t have a hard time moving on from her, but I guess I can’t ask you for tips on how to move on from someone now”.
He laughed under his breath. Honestly, he sucked at moving on. He was the last person you should come to for advice.
“I guess not… sorry” he apologized. “Time’s supposed to heal it all, though”.
Didn’t work for him so far, but he knew it was the case for most people. Hopefully it would be the case for you.
You chuckled. “Yeah, so I’ve heard. I would just like to speed the process”.
“You’ll get there eventually, don’t push yourself too hard” he offered a comforting smile. “I’m sure going zero contact and blocking him would help, though”.
This time, you couldn’t hold back a throaty laugh that had him quietly joining you right after. “You really hate his ass, don’t you?”
“I’m just saying…” he shrugged once again, trying to act nonchalant, yet failing miserably at erasing the smile curving up his lips. “What happened today wouldn’t have happened if he was blocked”.
“That’s a good point” you agreed.
“What did he even text you for again?”
You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “He just wanted to check up on me, or so he said”.
Hyunjin shook his head in disappointment. “Sounds to me like he just wants to keep you in line”.
“What do you mean?” Your eyebrows furrowed.
“Why text you the day before your anniversary? Why now?” He wondered. “It’s like he wants you to think about it and dwell on it. Like he wanted you to be upset so he could comfort you about it”.
You remained silent for a few seconds, carefully taking in his words.
“I want to believe he isn’t that much of an asshole…”
Hyunjin snorted, shaking his head once again, but this time in amusement. “He’s proved himself to be one more than once by now”.
“Yeah, I know…” you mumbled. “I just don’t get why he’d want to keep me in line now that he’s with her. I mean, he literally left me for her, and she’s so fucking pretty, I…”
“You’re prettier”.
Your eyes shot up to meet his, and he caught a small sparkle appearing in them before you shook it off and decided to joke about it. “Yeji really trained you well for this weekend, huh?”
“No, I mean it”.
“You haven’t even seen Hayun”.
“I have, though?” His eyebrows furrowed. He was there when you’d cry and show Yeji pictures of the girl Mingyu left you for, feeling his blood boil while at it. “She’s got nothing on you, you’re way prettier than her”.
“Hyunjin…”
“I’m serious, Y/N” he stood his ground. “It sucks that you feel inferior to her just because she’s with him, because honestly you’re a thousand times better. And considering she literally came in between your relationship with Mingyu, she’s ugly and unattractive as hell on the inside while you’re beautiful inside and out, so…”
To say you were speechless was an understatement. He was speechless as well, not having planned to go off like that, yet being unable to hear you bring yourself down once again when you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
For a moment there, he feared his feelings for you had been left out in the open for you to realise.
He was lucky you were dense as a brick and still somewhat emotionally unavailable to even think something of it.
“Wow, um…” you brought your hands up to cup your face, suddenly feeling hot. “My cheeks are burning, so I guess that’s enough break up talk for now”.
Although you were avoiding the topic, Hyunjin smiled, lowering his head to hold back a small giggle that threatened to come out of his mouth. He made you feel flustered, that was enough for him to be on cloud nine.
You stood up almost in a rush, looking for the remote before placing it on his lap for him to grab. “Why don’t you look for the summer camp arc while I go make us some tea instead?”
“Are you sure you want to switch to Haikyuu when Levi’s about to get more screen time?” He teased, knowing well enough that you, just like his sister, were a Levi girl.
Snorting at his remark, you motioned for him to go on with your previous order. “I have so many edits of my man saved, I can just look at him whenever”.
Hyunjin chuckled, shaking his head amusedly as he complied with your wishes and exited Attack on Titan to look for Haikyuu instead.
“Plus, Haikyuu’s got Kenma in it, so…”
“He’s a high school student” he pointed out.
“Are you calling me a cradle-snatcher?” You raised a questioning eyebrow.
This time, Hyunjin couldn’t hold back a giggle, finding the way your voice turned a pitch higher in offense to be a little too cute. “Your words, not mine”.
“Mind you, he’s a ‘95 liner” you pointed out, only managing to make him laugh harder. “He’s even older than me!”
“I didn’t even say anything” Hyunjin held both his hands up in defense, failing once more at trying to erase his smile.
God, you looked so cute right then, he couldn’t even be mad over the fact that you didn’t seem to fall for younger guys when it came to fiction either.
“We can skip on the tea if you want, so you can see your man sooner” he taunted, pressing play on the second season before you could leave the room.
Jaw dropping in both amusement and offense, you squinted your eyes at him. “You know, I was bringing you those cookies you love so much with it, but I’m not anymore”.
“The chocolate chip ones you make?” His head snapped back towards you.
“Mhm… I made a whole batch yesterday” you nodded, not missing the way his eyes lit up with excitement. “But you don’t deserve them anymore”.
“You’re not serious”.
“Oh, but I am” you smiled cynically, turning your back to him as you made your way to the kitchen. “Just stay there, I won’t take long”.
“No way, I’m coming with you” he stated, already following hot on your heels. “Those are my favourites, I’m not leaving until I’ve tried them”.
You chuckled, feeling him stand behind you while you turned on the kettle. “I guess I’ve got no choice then, because I don’t have a spare bed for you to sleep on”.
“I can always just crash on your couch, but I would appreciate not having to and getting to try your cookies instead”.
You laughed wholeheartedly, gently shoving him towards the cabinet. “Just go grab a plate, you dork”.
Doing as told, he couldn’t help but steal a glance at you and feel his heart finally be at ease, now that a genuine smile was plastered on your face and your eyes were no longer reddened and tired like they were when he just arrived, but smiling and playful instead. All thanks to him.
And one hour later, when your red blanket was being shared and covering your legs as the two of you sat down on your sofa, and your head was hovering over his shoulder and lightly tapping on it every five seconds, given you were miserably fighting against dozing off while looking at the TV, Hyunjin wished he hadn’t tried your cookies at all, so he’d have an excuse to keep his threatening words and not leave until he did.
He hoped you wouldn’t bring up how late it was and make him leave just yet.
He hoped you would just fall asleep on his shoulder and let him enjoy your closeness for a little bit.
Most of all, he hoped one day he would be able to come over late at night —or at any given hour— just because, not only because you needed him to and because his sister wasn’t in Seoul; and you would deliberately rest your head on his shoulder when you felt your eyelids become too heavy, and he wouldn’t have to wake you up once it got too late and it was time for him to leave, because he wouldn’t have to leave.
But for now, he would let you sleep for as long as he could without falling asleep as well, which wouldn’t be hard, considering he didn’t feel a single pinch of sleepiness as he rejoiced in the coincidental warmth of your body against his.
And if you happened to realise how wide awake he was once you woke up, he would blame it all on the sugar rush he got from all the cookies he munched on while being too immersed in the series.
Using yet another small excuse to be close to you wouldn’t hurt.
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