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pedropascallovebot · 2 days ago
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Challenging
Luigi Mangione x reader
✧˖°.
a/n: i do my fanfic writing on ao3 now- including ceo killer smut, but i saw that blindfold video and i knew what i had to do and i knew the tumblr girlies were the crowd for this. i'm so sorry i don't know which depraved part of my brain this came from it just happened
cw: blindfolding, edging, author whipping her head back and forth as luigi and reader go back and forth on who the hell is the dom here
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It had started off as a joke, really.
Well, no- not a joke. When you quietly told your boyfriend you'd thought he looked "bite-able" in that blindfold, you had said so with a laugh to give yourself the excuse of being totally joking if he wasn't down to let you try the whole concept out in the privacy of his bedroom.
It normally would've been disappointing to leave your friend group's get-together so early- after all, you had movies and drinks planned, but wouldn't you know; an hour after your innocent comment in his ear, your neighbor coincidentally needed a ride to the hospital. Crazy how these things work out.
No, it was not disappointment you felt this time. An all too familiar sensation built between your thighs when his hand gripped the steering wheel, driving a little too fast back home.
You had almost asked your friend for the blindfold, but then you would of had to hear her ask why you'd need one when you were going to drop your neighbor off at the hospital, and you figured it'd be easier to just make do with something from your closet. Which you would- your brain was already brewing with ideas of different scraps of fabric you could use as a makeshift blindfold.
Back to your current predicament: soaking through your underwear, Luigi's fingers the star of the show you're playing in your mind as he drives you both home, and the bulge in his jeans.
"Tell me what's on your mind, love," he smirks, and then he's dragging his free hand that's not operating a moving vehicle up your thigh. Your breath hitches as he runs a thumb gently over the fabric covering your skin.
You stay silent, because if you speak you might just break immediately and beg for him to pull over and fuck you stupid on the side of the road.
He hmphs, delivering a firm smack to your thigh, and you let out a whimper at the stinging.
Luigi is normally a very safe driver, but it is nothing short of an absolute miracle that there were no cops out on the road to pull him over for a speeding ticket. It feels like you're parking and pulling out your apartment keys before the stinging sensation stops lingering.
You both say hello to your neighbor and his dog, about to go on a walk, and then shut the door.
"He looks remarkably well for someone needing to go the hospital," you joke, reaching your hands up to thread your fingers through Luigi's curls.
He leans into your touch, pinning you against the wall by the door in the process. This leads to your mouth being absolutely devoured by his own; your boyfriend is kissing you so desperately that when you pull away, a whine releasing from the back of his throat.
That blue checkered shirt, while fitting him exceptionally well, is unbuttoned and abandoned on the floor before you even drag him to the bed, wasting no time turning on any light except the bare minimum to see his shaking hands and achingly hard dick straining in his pants.
Pushing him down on the bed, you climb in on top of him, straddling his hips and shoving his shoulders down so his head meets the pillow. His arms go to find the hem of your own shirt, assisting you in pulling it off and then reaching to get the rest of your clothes off.
When the both of you are left in your underwear, your wetness is more prominent to Luigi, and he takes a breath, going to reach to help you out, but you're off his lap and hurrying to your closet.
"Baby," he mutters, his hand going to rest over his boxers.
Bingo. An old scarf- or, to better describe it, the idea of a scarf, because you had started crocheting it and then just never finished. However, it was perfect for the debauchery you had planned for you and your boyfriend.
"What's wrong?" you asked sweetly, stalking over to him and slowly climbing back on the bed to resume your position. "What can I do to help you out?"
You take his hand off his bulge, resting it on his side, and he shifts, his breath deepening.
"Need you so bad, please," he mutters. You drop the scarf while you place kisses down his jawline, eventually making your way to his ear.
"Lay back for me."
He obeys.
Luigi's eyes drop to the scarf, a smile building in the corners of his mouth makes you blush. There's no way you'll be able to keep your composure and not let him fuck your brains out, but you gotta keep it together long enough that you can get your boyfriend whining and moaning for your touch. You press another kiss to his lips, and tie the blindfold around his head, securing it in the back before ruffling his hair and grabbing his chin with your fingers.
"Not that you would know, but every single girl there was staring at you with that blindfold on," you remarked, your other hand running down his chest.
"Is someone j-" Luigi's voice falters when your fingers reach the waistband of his boxers, tracing over them.
"Hmm?"
You continue running your fingers over the skin, not bothering to take the fabric off until he can manage to form some words for you.
"If you were j- fuck- if you were jealous, you hid it very well," he says, hips raising so you can slide off his boxers.
Not jealous. Maybe a little annoyed, sure. But those girls were back there, and you were right here, with Luigi on your bed, your name falling from his lips, begging you to touch him.
"Or maybe that's why you were practically in my lap afterwards, huh?" he continues. "Wanting to show everyone there that I'm yours? Don't wanna share me?"
You're the one on top, you remind yourself so you don't melt in his hand and let him roll over to pin you down on the sheets. You look down at his dick, hard and standing at attention, waiting to be dipped into your warm, wet pussy.
Not yet. Not yet.
You move your mouth back down to his neck, right behind his ear, and bite down lightly.
Luigi gasps, but you quickly shush him and repeat the action on the other side of his face, a little harder this time.
"I told you I wanted to bite you," you admit, smirking when he throws his head back at the soothing kisses you leave over the teeth marks.
He twitches when your thumb finally runs over the tip, hands fidgeting at his sides. You watch his mouth open and close when you gather some of the precum, spreading it all over his length.
Breathtaking. He's truly the most beautiful man you've ever seen.
You feel more wetness gather between your thighs when you look at how hard he is, and how muscular his thighs are, and how you'd love to lower yourself on to him and take what you wanted. Instead, you wrap your fingers around him, pumping the length until his hands go to grab your waist.
You freeze, and Luigi whines again, bucking his hips up into your hand.
"Did I tell you that you could move, baby?" you scold him again, your free hand grabbing the nape of his neck, moving your lips closer to his. When he doesn't answer, you ask again.
"No- no, you didn't, fuck- baby, baby please keep going-"
Luigi's voice grows more desperate, filling you with a high that feels intoxicating. His precum soaks your fingers, his breath shaky- you want him so bad. Patience is becoming an unbelievably challenging attribute.
"Be a good boy and keep your hands to your side," you order.
He does. You watch the way his face contorts as you make him feel good, reveling in his moans. You continue stroking him until his whines get to a higher pitch, until he's involuntarily thrusting up into your hand.
You don't think you've ever been this wet.
When you know he's about to cum, you slowly pull your fingers away, licking all the precum off of them.
"No-" he protested, squirming and gripping the sheets so he doesn't reach and finish the job for you. "I was good- please- I wanna cum so bad, please."
You run your thumb over his cheek, tutting at the desperation in his voice.
"Maybe if you sit still, I'll think about it."
Maybe your newfound confidence is due to your own overwhelming urge to orgasm. Hearing him fall apart under you like this certainly helps as well. You adjust yourself in his lap, gripping his arms to support yourself in your quest to get a bit more comfortable, and then you pull of your own underwear.
However, you don't slide him inside you. Your own fingers go to run up and down your slit, and you sigh at how wet you are. It's incredibly tempting to use them to get yourself off, but knowing that Luigi's are right in front of you makes yours worthless by comparison. So you opt for grinding your pussy against his thigh, coating it in your slick.
You take a breath when you hit just the right spot, and you don't even say anything when your boyfriends hand shoots out to your waist to stabilize you and guide your body.
He whimpers when you grip his shoulders, quickening your pace as you use his thigh. Any other thought that wasn't about cumming like this was out the window, and it didn't help Luigi was coaxing it out of you, cursing and whimpering for him to let him help you out, for you to just take his blindfold off-
You snap back into reality before you finish, and with every single ounce of self-control you can muster, you pull yourself back.
Dipping your fingers into your pussy, you collect the wetness that's dripping out of you and bring it to Luigi's lips.
"Open," you command, and he eagerly takes your digits in his mouth, licking them clean and whimpering at how good you tasted.
It will be a cold day in hell before you forget that vision: him blindfolded, hand gripping your wrist and sucking on your fingers like it was candy.
You tug his hands back down to his side, ordering for him to keep them there, but he speaks up.
"Please, I need to feel you," he cries, squirming underneath.
You find a little bit of sympathy for him, because he asked so nicely.
So you only bring him to the edge one more time, as opposed to your original plan. He's trembling underneath you, whines and whimpers tumbling out of his mouth when you pull away again right before he cums, but you go back down again, this time with your mouth.
Luigi fucking sobs, hands pawing at the sheets and your hair and everywhere he can reach as you take all of him in, licking and bobbing your head up and down.
When he cums, it's everywhere. You think you have most of it in your mouth, swallowing it with the feeling of absolute ecstasy running through your body, but it's on his stomach, on yours, in your hair..
"You should see yourself, Lu," you tease, collecting the white off his chest and licking your fingers clean.
He doesn't respond for a minute, too out of breath. When he finally comes back around, he lets out a relieved sigh.
"Was the blindfold really that arousing?" he half-joked, rubbing his forehead and getting a little bit of cum on the edge of the scarf still tied around his eyes.
You shake your head yes, but then realize he still can't see you. When you go to answer him verbally, he starts again.
"Take it off me," he orders quietly, and you know you're about to get it.
When you finally let him have a look at you, he smirks.
"There you are."
He looks so angelic laying there, that you almost forget you haven't finished yet, and there's an ache between your legs that's begging to be quelled.
"Let's get this thing off you," he continues, taking the bra that you hadn't bothered to remove before and discarding it on the floor.
Luigi scoots you closer up his body, and you realize where he's going with this.
"Baby-" you plead, whimpering when his hands dig a little too hard into your hips. He smiles innocently up at you, the same kind of smile you gave him before blindfolding him and ruining his orgasms.
"M'just gonna make you feel good," he mumbles, and you gasp when he pulls you up onto his face. "Be a good girl for me."
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igbylicious · 23 hours ago
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payment on delivery [yunho x wooyoung]
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pairing: yunho x wooyoung
rating: 18+
genre: smut, humour
summary: the pizza delivery guy is ridiculously hot and oh no! wooyoung has no cash! however will he pay for his meal? :3 (OR: yunho and wooyoung experiment with some fun roleplay.)
wc: 2.6k
warnings: roleplay, bigdick yunho, no hard bdsm but kinda dom yunho / sub wooyoung, rough blowjob, hair-pulling, cum swallowing, spit as lube, anal fingering, mention of tipsy oral sex in the past, the scenario is kinda cracky but i take ‘writing hot blowjobs’ very seriously 👍, some of the dirty talk is appropriately cheesy tho, they have fun <3
a/n: you might’ve seen this on ao3 already, but i wrote it while i was on tumblr break so it took a while to crosspost. anyway this is one of the most unserious smut scenarios i’ve ever written and i love it a lot :’)
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The air conditioning whirrs insistently, doing a brave but futile attempt at fighting the balmy summer heat. Wooyoung is sprawled over the couch, dressed in flimsy shorts and a loose-fitting tanktop, trying his best to do as little as possible while waiting for Yu— for the ‘pizza delivery’. He craves something salty in this unreasonable weather.
Finally the doorbell rings and Wooyoung trudges over to the door, wiping a bead of sweat off his forehead. Excitement prickles across his clammy skin, hungry for what awaits on the other side of that door.
He opens it, and stands face to face with the delivery guy. The tall delivery guy, who smiles brightly, a pizza box balanced on his hand. He wears a simple baseball cap worn over his fluffy brown hair, and exudes boyish charm with his rounded cheeks and shiny big eyes. Ridiculously handsome, and even through the sweltering summer heat Wooyoung feels warmth creeping up his cheeks at the sight of him.
“Someone order a sausage pizza?” the delivery guy winks, his smile widening.
Sausage? Seriously? Wooyoung fights down the urge to roll his eyes. Why are they doing this again? “Yep, that’s me. Took you a while, I’ve gotten… hungry.”
“Well, I got just the thing to fix that, sir,” his handsome delivery boy grins. “All I need is to see some cash.”
Wooyoung gives him a wide-eyed innocent look, inhaling a sharp breath. “Cash?”
“Payment on delivery, sir,” he says cheekily, holding out his large hand.
“But, mister…” Wooyoung pouts at the tall ‘stranger’ and cutely presses the tips of his index fingers together in front of his chest; a gesture that draws direct attention to his skimpy tanktop. The delivery guy’s eyes flicker down to the slight shine of sweat on Wooyoung’s partially exposed chest, sparking a tiny, unexpected jolt of excitement in his abdomen. To his own surprise, he’s actually getting into the whole role play thing, feeling kinda sexy while seducing his excruciatingly handsome stranger into alternate means of payment. “…I don’t have any cash on me… is there—”
— the ‘delivery guy’ stifles a laugh, his eyes glimmering. Quickly he recovers, smoothing his face back into a slow smile.
Wooyoung shoots him a Look, but then stubbornly continues, clasping his hands behind his back to push out his chest. “Isn’t there some other way I can pay you?”
The tall man breaks again and he hides his mouth behind his hand, muffling a giggle.
“Yah! Come on, Yunho!” Wooyoung protests, dropping the facade. “This whole thing was your idea! ‘Wouldn’t it be fun if we did a delivery boy role play?’ You said that!”
“Funny!” Yunho says, trying and failing to keep it together. “I said it’d be funny! And I was right!”
Wooyoung sighs, giving his boyfriend a half-hearted pout. (It’s really hard to be genuinely upset with Yunho’s happy face.)
But Yunho regains himself, sorta, his shoulders still shaking with a silent laugh as he continues the scene. “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t give you this pizza if you can’t pay for it.”
Deciding to play dirty, Wooyoung takes a step closer to Yunho, their chests almost touching. Wooyoung sticks out his bottom lip, walking his fingers up the front of Yunho’s t-shirt, up Yunho’s throat where his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “But I’m so hungry,” Wooyoung sighs, tracing his fingers over Yunho’s jaw. “Is there nothing you can do?”
Yunho shudders as Wooyoung takes off his baseball cap and throws it aside, then runs his fingers through Yunho’s hair, playing with the tactile fluffy locks. The light-hearted mirth in Yunho’s smile is soon replaced by a distinct craving.
“Well, in that case…” he hums, and unceremoniously drops the empty pizza box down to the floor. He steps closer, pressing their chests together while his hand plays with the edge of Wooyoung’s tiny shorts, long fingers brushing over the bottom curve of his ass. “I got something else to stuff that pretty mouth full instead. Something… off menu.”
Wooyoung’s breath catches at Yunho’s teasing touch, at the gravity of him as he leans forward, his lips ghosting over the shell of Wooyoung’s ear.
“You hungry for cock, hm?” he murmurs, and it takes all of Wooyoung’s willpower to not drop on his knees right then and there. “Only fair if you pay me for the trouble of coming all this way.”
Wooyoung bites his lip, shivering at how Yunho’s heavy presence wraps around him. “Oh, you will be compensated fairly, alright,” Wooyoung says sweetly. “But I got a big appetite… Are you sure you can sate it?”
A fresh laugh threatens to bubble over Yunho’s lips, his shiny eyes sparking with amusement at the ridiculousness of this scenario — but the laugh stutters into a wispy moan when Wooyoung palms his crotch. And Wooyoung is delighted to find that, despite his unserious giggles, Yunho is excited too. Not rock-hard yet, but definitely heading in the right direction.
Yunho sighs softly when Wooyoung presses a tender kiss on his collarbone, right above the neckline of his t-shirt. Wooyoung leaves small pecks on Yunho’s heated skin as he pries open his jeans and tugs them down just enough for access. “Yeah… that’ll do the trick,” Wooyoung hums, tracing the outline of Yunho’s sizeable cock through his boxers. “Didn’t realise I’d ordered jumbo sized.”
Okay, so this time Wooyoung did try to make Yunho laugh on purpose, just so Wooyoung could be a brat and complain about it — but the attempt is a complete failure.
All humour has faded from Yunho; he puts his hand on the nape of Wooyoung’s neck and presses down with enough force that Wooyoung can only comply with the unspoken order without thought, letting Yunho push him onto him knees. Wooyoung glances up at him, his breath catching at the darkening look in Yunho’s eyes.
“Then show me,” Yunho demands, a low rasp creeping into his voice as he hooks his thumb underneath the waistband of his boxers and pulls it down. “Show me how hungry you are. I want to see you take it all.”
Wooyoung can’t help a whine at his authoritative tone, licking his lips in excitement as he’s now face-to-face with a thick, half-hard cock.
He is rarely one to wax poetics, especially not about dick, but he still gets struck by how pretty Yunho’s cock is. Seriously, it shouldn’t be possible for a cock this big to be this pretty. It should look every bit the blunt, brutal instrument that it is whenever Yunho’s pounding into him, but no. Pretty. Wooyoung wraps his hand around the base of the smooth shaft, moaning contently as he starts to lap at the cutely flushed cockhead.
Yunho groans, impatient fingers delving into Wooyoung’s hair. “Don’t make me wait,” Yunho says, yanking Wooyoung forward to force his thick cock past plump lips, “I got more deliveries to make. I can’t stand around here all day, you know.”
Wooyoung makes a muffled noise at the sudden intrusion, eyes widening in surprise — but then he sighs and relaxes into Yunho’s tight grip on his hair. His jaw goes slack, almost on instinct by now, his tongue curving around the weight of Yunho’s semi-hard cock.
He hollows his cheeks and sucks, rewarded by a sharp grunt and Yunho pushing in deeper. Eagerly, Wooyoung sucks harder, steadying himself by grabbing onto Yunho’s thighs. His fingers dig into the coarse jeans, and he moans indulgently at how Yunho’s cock grows hard in his mouth, the tip insistently prodding at the back of Wooyoung’s throat.
Yunho is rarely demanding when Wooyoung blows him; he knows he’s a lot to take, that he could even hurt Wooyoung, and so he’s usually more than happy to let Wooyoung set the pace and depth. It’s sweet, of course… but Wooyoung does not always want sweet. Yunho’s roughness sends blood rushing down to his cock, feeling lightheaded at the way he’s forced to take him deeper with every pass of his plump lips.
Already a trickle of saliva has leaked past the corner of Wooyoung’s mouth, his jaw strained. But he feels no ache, too dizzy from Yunho’s tight grip on his hair, the feeling of powerlessness as Yunho uses him like he’s nothing more than a cocksleeve, paying no mind to how Wooyoung gags on his leaking dick, the faint saltiness of precum coating Wooyoung’s tongue. His lips are stretched taut around Yunho’s fat cock, but still the corners of his mouth try to curve up into a dopey smile.
Yunho notices how far gone Wooyoung is already, a sharp grin splitting across his face. “Fuck, you’re enjoying yourself like this, aren’t you? Are you that desperate to choke on a stranger’s cock?”
For a split-second, Wooyoung blinks in confusion until he remembers; oh right, role play.
And you know what? Yeah. Yeah he is that fucking desperate. Always has been. Even back when they first met, he’d resolved to be down on his knees for the tall, handsome stranger at Mingi’s birthday party long before he ever learned the stranger’s name. Yunho was the one who bothered to introduce himself first, before he happily let himself be lead to Mingi’s tiny bathroom, where he fucked Wooyoung’s mouth with a tipsy flush across his face, slow and lazy.
But there is nothing slow or lazy about the way he’s fucking Wooyoung’s mouth now.
Yunho stares down at Wooyoung with blown eyes, his cheeks every bit as flushed as when they first met. He’s biting his lip, the rough control getting him as worked up as it does Wooyoung, cock pulsing on his tongue. Wooyoung whimpers loudly as he gags again, his chin wet with spittle, but it’s more than worth it when Yunho grunts sharply, his pace starting to falter.
The sound goes straight to Wooyoung’s own dick; he’s sure there’s a damp spot in his shorts by now. Heated impatience flicks through him and he reaches to massage Yunho’s balls, just the way Wooyoung knows he likes.
Yunho gasps a ragged curse under his breath, his hips jerking forward, and Wooyoung’s eyes roll back as his throat constricts around the thick cock forcing itself deeper down. He’s gonna be so fucking hoarse after this, a thought that has him whining, craving only more. Yunho yanks harder on his hair, probably not even on purpose, but that loss of restraint burns through Wooyoung like wildfire. C’mon, he silently urges, make me fucking drown in it.
Wooyoung blinks up through teary eyes. Sweat beads on Yunho’s forehead, his bottom lip chewed raw, and his jaw falling slack with a strangled groan when he is pushed over the edge. Wooyoung lets out a pleased moan as Yunho’s dick throbs in his mouth, painting his tongue with hot, thick ropes of cum; he does almost drown in it, struggling to swallow everything down.
Slowly Yunho recovers, his hard breaths evening out as he pats at Wooyoung’s mussed up hair. He hisses when Wooyoung keeps suckling at the sensitive cockhead, trying to coax more from his spent cock.
Usually, Yunho enjoys a bit of overstimulation; so Wooyoung squeaks in surprise when he’s yanked away and hoisted onto his feet. He gasps when Yunho roughly grabs him by the scruff and pushes him to face the wall, bracing himself on his hands just in time before Yunho’s fingers are suddenly at his mouth. Wooyoung groans as two fingers are pushed past his plush lips, the size of them an easy fit after taking that big cock. His aching jaw relaxes as he lazily sucks on Yunho’s fingers, starting to get a little tired.
Yunho, however, has no intention of letting Wooyoung rest. “We’re not done,” he grunts next to Wooyoung’s ear. “I haven’t been paid in full yet — you still owe me a tip.”
“A tip??” Wooyoung splutters in amused disbelief when Yunho slips out his spit-covered fingers. “You already had way more than just a tip down my throat.”
Yunho snorts. “Oi, don’t get cheeky,” he warns, playfully smacking Wooyoung’s ass before he yanks down his shorts and forces him to spread his legs a bit more.
“Cheeky? Is tha—ahh!”
Wooyoung’s smart mouth is shut right up when one of Yunho’s slick, long fingers presses past his tight rim, setting a pace that is just as rough as when Yunho fucked his throat. He groans in bliss, bracing his arms against the wall when he slumps into it, resting his head on his forearms as his eyes flutter shut.
“I-is that how you treat all your clientele?” Wooyoung manages to grate out between whines. “I’m —ngh— I’m calling customer service on y-you, you’ll never deliver pizza in this town again.”
Yunho bursts out into a giggle, pressing his face into Wooyoung, but the snap of his wrist does not slow for a second — no, he adds a second finger instead. “Fuck, Youngie, you’re so…” He affectionately nuzzles against Wooyoung’s neck, while Wooyoung can’t do anything but moan wantonly, pushing his ass back as Yunho’s long fingers curl deliciously inside him, prodding at just the right spot.
He’s so worked up from having his face fucked and being manhandled into the wall that it takes Yunho no time at all to render him down into a trembling mess, knees shaky and hands balled into fists. Yunho reaches around with his free hand to find Wooyoung’s achingly hard cock, and even just a grazing touch is enough to jolt lightning through his wired nerves. He cries out, the raspy sound tearing through his sore throat as he comes in heavy spurts, all over Yunho’s hand and the wall.
Through glassy eyes, Wooyoung stares at the mess they’ve made, white fluids sliding down the painted wall. The lewd sight of it is almost enough to stir new life in his softening dick.
Then Yunho turns him around, gentle now, and leans down to bracket Wooyoung’s head between his forearms, leaving sweet kisses on his cock-swollen lips. Wooyoung puts his arms around Yunho’s shoulders and that is how they catch their breath together, tenderly entwined.
“So,” Yunho grins between kisses when the euphoric high starts to fade, “were you satisfied with your order?”
“Fuck. Five stars, for sure,” Wooyoung sighs out. “…You were pretty rough.”
Yunho lets out a self-conscious giggle. “Sorry. Was it too much?”
“Oh hell no!” Wooyoung vehemently shakes his head. “It was a compliment! If pretending to be strangers who fuck for financial compensation gets you in that type of mood, I’m all for doing it again soon.”
Yunho grins, a lively spark in his eyes. “Hmm, what else could we try out then? Poolboy?”
“Dude, we don’t have a pool.”
“Pfff, killjoy. How about a handyman, then?”
Wooyoung snorts. “Ah yeah, I can hear the sexy dirty talk already. ‘Oh baby, your pipe is so well-oiled, it's all ready for maintenance. Let me get my screwdriver all up in there to fix your leak’.”
“Stop iiiiit, you’ll get me horny again!”
“Like that takes much!”
“Hey, what’s with all the sass? Weren’t you the one who wanted to do more role play?” Yunho giggles again, his smile brighter than the summer sun as he swoops in to capture Wooyoung in a series of happy kisses. He presses Wooyoung closer into the dirtied wall — and Wooyoung quickly realises that Yunho is, in fact, getting horny again. He grins against the kiss in anticipation; time for round two.
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kamospeach · 7 hours ago
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all my exes still love me, call me up, he wanna freak .ᐟ
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plot: exbf!choso is a simp and is begging for your forgiveness.
content warning: drug use, technically public sex, car sex, piv sex, mating press, cowgirl, oral m!recieving, fingering, cum eating, choking, praising, softdom choso, dacryphilia, the whole nine really
peachy's yap: 4.9k this is my first time writing on tumblr ! if there's any tips you have pls comment them :3
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Saturday at 4:42 pm
"mama, I'm sorry," choso pleaded, pushing your door open. this was the fourth time he showed up at your house this week, and you were honestly getting tired of this. coming to beg for forgiveness but never hearing you out.
"choso, please leave before my mom comes back," you say, not even looking at him. he came over to your house dressed in his fucking sunday's best, and that was the worst. he knows you so well and how much you like all the things he's wearing right now. 
hair down, a black tee that never fits right, sweats, the black and white ugg tasmans you got him for his birthday. gold chains around his neck, his usual nose stud changed to a hoop and rings on his fingers. he didn't even try this hard to dress up when you went to kenjaku and geto's birthday party. and was that? is that your pink scrunchie on his wrist? 'he's pushing it,' you thought to yourself.
"come on, don't do this," he says, pushing the door harder. you were now using all your strength to try to close the door.
"you have some nerve coming to my house dressed like a slut." you huff, giving up on pushing the door as he throws his head back in laughter. he knew what he was doing and he thought it was funny you were acting like his attempt was futile. but he noticed the way you looked at him when you opened the door.
"i thought you liked me like this," he asked softly and you sighed knowing it was true, you did like him like that.
"i do." you accept defeat, letting him in the house. "you're only here so we can talk about it. that's it." you pushed open the door and he followed behind you after taking off his shoes. 
"why'd you want me gone before your mom got here?" he asked with furrowed brows since your mom knew of your and choso's relationship. you just didn't want her to think you both were still together, and you couldn't bring yourself to break the news to her.
"i didn't want her to see you here and think we were still together." you say walking into your room and sitting down on your bed. he hummed about to sit on your bed and you stopped him by his chest. "nah strangers don't get to sit on my bed."
"y/n," he said your name in a tone that sounded pathetic, honestly.
"choso," you say, and he rolls his eyes, sitting on the chair in the corner of the room. you crossed your legs as the both of you looked at each other in silence. he looked down at your legs that glistened under the sun, then moved his sight to your freshly done toes. light pink french tip, just how he liked, and you said he had nerve. "since it seems a cat caught your tongue, i'll start the conversation. i don't want to get back together if she's all in our business. done."
"she's my friend y/n you don't like her and don't know why. you know if you had a real reason i'd drop her." he reasoned, getting upset all over again, having pretty much the same reaction when you broke up with him two weeks ago.
"i don't like her because she's always running back to me telling me our business. she might've told someone else. even before then she always seemed messy." you stressed to him and he still couldn't wrap his head around your explanation.
"what does that have to do with me, i didn't tell her to be messy. why does her being messy mean we can't be together?" he questioned raising his voice and you put your hand out telling him to stop.
"i already told you if you're going to yell, we aren't going to speak to each other," you warn him.
"i'm not trying to yell but fuck you gotta be reasonable." desperation was clear in his voice, and you sigh, knowing the way choso was. he didn't get mad often, but he does get frustrated and he's stubborn about what he wants.
"all that i'm saying is going to another woman about our relationship and not me is crazy." you felt the tears sting your eyes. "then she has the nerve to tell me 'choso says he really likes you but... oh i shouldn't say that' and run off with her friends." you ranted as you began to full on cry, he looked at you his heart aching at your pain.
"when you told me she said that i got on her right then and there. you can't punish me for her actions," he argues looking you in your eyes.
"i'm not punishing you; I'm doing what's best for me," you explained trying to help him understand where you were coming from.
"is it what's best? you've been crying before right now, i could tell. i saw you at school, and it looks like you aren't getting any sleep. shoko told me you haven't been out since we broke up. You left without giving me a chance to right my wrongs." he says, and you hum, thinking about it.
"i left because you weren't trying to see my point. you said i was jealous and then dodged me for two weeks." you say making it clear you didn't just leave him because of that. "i tried to meet up and you always claimed you were 'busy' with your band."
"take a ride with me later today? let's talk about it more then." he asked out of nowhere, and you laughed at his abruptness. "i'll take the top off the jeep we can drive around like we used to do. like before we got together, you don't have to immediately take me back. just vibe like when you actually used to fucked with me." you laughed at his lame attempt at a joke.
"okay." you nod as he stands up, holding his hand out for you. you place your hand in his as he helps you stand. 
"i still love you, mama i hope you know what." he says as he wraps his arms around your shoulders and your arms wrap around his torso. "no other girl could change that," he assured you, you nodded sniffling from crying earlier.
"i still love you too, cho," you say, looking up at the man who's been by your side for 4 years. choso was a sweetheart, quiet, and would never intentionally hurt you. it just hurts to know he went to someone else for problems instead of you since you've been together for so long.
"you don't have to say it if you don't mean it." he joked and you rolled your eyes at him.
"m'serious, cho." you stomp your foot, and he nods, still laughing at you a little.
"i know," he kissed your forehead, the only thing you'd allow. "i'll come to get you at six, okay?
"i'll be ready." you nod, and he smiles.
"it's warmer than usual today, you can wear them shorts i like," he smirked referring to some shorts you bought a couple of years ago that fit fine until choso started stuffing you like a pig. now you fill them out better and part of your ass peeks out the bottom. you never wore them outside the house only when you took drives with choso or you both stayed in the house for the day. 
"and risk you thinking you're back in? no," you say shooing him out of your room until the two of you run into your mom. just your luck. she squealed running to hug choso. this was normal when she hadn't seen him for a while. she always claimed choso was her son and even if you didn't bring him around she was asking for him.
you looked between your mom and choso in disbelief. your mom squeezed him so tight rocking him side to side and he smirked at you. this is exactly what you didn't want to happen she would be talking about this meeting for the next month and a half.
"hey mom." he greeted her with a shit-eating grin that had you five and a half seconds away from hitting him square in the back of his head. he knew calling her mom was going to make her love him more than she already did.
"aww hello my baby!" she cooed and you blinked slowly looking between the two of them as they engaged in a conversation that lasted way too long. she asked about his band, his classes, his brothers, and then your relationship. to which he responded with 'we're good y'know we would never leave each other' as he side eyes you with the meanest glare he's probably ever put out.
"okay, cho don't you have to go take the roof off the jeep? that'll take some time won't it?" you frown as you bat your lashes practically begging him to leave. he glances down at you as he holds a cup of tea your mom gave him. 
"i can't finish my tea?" he frowned and your jaw dropped at the audacity of this man.
"no? get out!" you take the cup from his hands and push him towards the door. "i can't believe you." you grunted as he slowly put on his shoes. "you know i didn't want you to see her and you spent 15 minutes talking to her." you huff as he opened the driver's side hopping into the truck.
"then you'll just have to hold out for a while until you tell her." he smiled down at you. "i can't get a kiss?" 
"leave," you said as he laughed at your angry expression. he started the car and drove off as you walked back into the house. you skillfully avoided your mom not trying to hear her gush over how sweet choso was. as you entered your room you decided to take a shower before he returned.
after your shower, it was going on 5:45 meaning choso would be there soon. the sun was setting and you looked out your open window at the pink and purple sunset. you keep your eyes peeled for choso's truck while listening out for your mom. you did not want her to know he was doubling back, if she found out she'd probably end up serving him dinner.
another 10 minutes passed and choso drove up to your house top off like he promised. he had music playing and it sounded like it was a song from his band's more recent album. although you always listened to RnB you knew every song that his band made. you never thought you'd been into hard rock or metal until choso sent you his playlist. 
when he turned in the driveway you quickly grabbed your phone and small purse. you sped down the stairs almost tripping on the last one and letting out a small 'fuck'. your mom watched you run out of the house not even bothering to ask where you were going knowing it was either with shoko or choso. 
as you suspected it was his band's music and he turned it down when you walked out the door. being the gentleman he is got out of the truck to open up the passenger door for you. you looked him up and down seeing he changed specifically his hair that was now back in two buns. not interested in analyzing his fit you hopped into the jeep and didn't even bother to thank him. he just laughed at your sass getting back in the driver seat.
"not talkin' now?" he asked and you huffed loudly crossing your legs and arms. your resolve was wearing thin and you knew going on a drive wasn't going to help. his scattered tattoos on his arm as one hand steered, your nameplate around his neck, and his clenched jaw. that was enough for you to forgive him right there and then. 
"cho." you whispered lowly after you both sat in silence for 15 minutes and he gave you a quick glance. "i hated the break but i think it was good for you," you admitted as choso hummed putting the car in park. he ended your drive at the beach the breeze was a little colder but it still felt good.
"what're you tryin' to say?" he asked leaning the seat back grabbing the half-smoked blunt out of his ashtray. your face dropped not even noticing the blunt when you got in. it made you think to yourself 'Let me check if my chair in the right position'. and you did just that looking around your seat and making sure everything was right. humming in satisfaction when you saw that it was. 
"i'm just saying that the break was needed. you realized you needed to talk to me about our problems. because she can't help you fix us if there is no us." you explain and he nods, you could admit that the reason for your short break was selfish. still, you didn't like what he did and you weren't willing to let it slide. if he had first apologized or even listened to you instead of trying to guilt trip you it wouldn't have got this far.
"i can admit that, yeah, and it won't happen again. i'll do whatever it takes to make you happy and you know that," he says turning his head a little and handing the blunt to you. you grabbed it from him bringing the blunt to your lips, taking a hit letting the smoke fill your lungs. choso put his hand on the top knee of your crossed legs. 
"if you promise to talk to me, i can promise i'll never leave." you bargain passing the blunt back to him. he looked at the blunt seeing your cherry lip gloss all around it. he sent you a pointed glare and you shrugged already knowing what he was thinking. 
"that'll work, so can i get a kiss now?" he asked and you scoffed, that was all this man thought about. Little did you know choso had been thinking about kissing you since you got in. your perfume intoxicating his brain along with the effects of the weed make him extremely horny. he needed his kiss now!
"that's all I'm good for?" you asked playfully and he laughed shaking his head.
"no but it's a plus." he mumbles as you lean over the middle console pecking his lips quickly. as you were moving back he gripped your waist locking you in the position. "what the fuck was that?" he asked and you laughed at his reaction. 
giving in you press your lips against his this time not a peck. your tongues danced with each other and you melted into the kiss. his lips were soft and you both kissed almost as if you were starved. although you were broken up for two weeks you hadn't seen each other in a month. this was what you both needed to be back in each other's embrace.
your hand reached for his face just needing to feel him. your hands grazed his jaw down his neck and to his chest. while his freehand stayed content on your left ass cheek. 
your hands traveled down moving lower and lower feeling on his abs. you were hesitant but you let your urges go against your better judgment. your reached down to palm his hard-on and his hips bucked up as he moaned in your mouth.
"either you do something about it or sit back in your seat." he leaned out of the kiss ashing the blunt. without being told another word you pulled the waistband of his shorts and boxers up grabbing his dick. you took it out of his shorts and looked at it as if you hadn't seen it many times before. this time the tip was a deep angry red like it was begging for a release.
you gave his tip a little kitty lick tasting his precum and he hissed placing his hand on your ass. you slapped him on your tongue before taking him into your mouth. not taking him all the way down your throat and just focusing on his tip. choso began to get impatient, the anticipation making him exasperated. he was trying to be nice and take things your speed but he was seconds from combusting. 
getting fed up he grabs your hair pushing you all the way down until his cock head hit the back of your throat. you gagged on him as spit bubbled around him and he kept you down with your nose pressed against him. 
he gave your throat small thrusts until you tapped his thigh letting him know you needed to come up for air. he pulled you up looking you in your face liking the view of drool dripping down your chin.
"y'know better," he said and you looked him in his eyes seeing the way his pupils dilated. this wasn't soft choso who didn't mind letting you be in control he was feral. what he didn't want you to know was that he held himself back for that month. he hadn't touched himself so he was little, 'backed up' if you will.
not wanting to anger him further you quickly took him in your mouth. tongue out and throat relaxed you began to please him how you know he wanted you to. not once stopping your constant movements as he moaned. head thrown back as his hand stayed in your hair only guiding your movements lightly. 
"i missed that mouth of yours." he groans as you take him out your mouth to spit back on it. you used your hands to stroke him while you looked up at him. "you're doing great." he praised you knowing exactly what you wanted to hear. just like he expected with that statement you went back to work. bobbing your head up and down gagging on him here and there. his moans and groans were exciting you and it started to become more enjoyable for you. 
you felt choso's leg spasm you knew him well enough to know that meant he was close. usually, you'd pull off and whine to him saying 'i want you to cum inside me'. but today you wanted to have the satisfaction of making him cum off head. 
you pulled off him licking up the dribble of spit along the vein of his dick. going to back and deepthroating him as he twitches in the back of his throat.
"fuck 'm cumming." he grunted loudly as he came down your throat. by this time you were absolutely soaked your legs were squeezed together. his sounds, the taste of him on your tongue, and the friction of your thighs rubbing together enough to make you finish. you swallowed but it wasn't enough for you, you continued to suck him off. "fuck... mama wait s...shit" he whimpered trying to get you off of him. once you were finally content you got off looking up at him. 
his eyes were closed and there were bite marks in his lips. his chest heaved up and down rapidly and his hand was on his head. you giggled to yourself reaching to take the tight buns out of his hair. you rake your fingers through his hair and he smashes his lips onto yours. the kiss was rushed and he pushed his tongue into your mouth tasting himself on your tongue. you massaged his scalp and he shuddered as he pulled away from the kiss.
"you'll be the death of me, swear to God." he huffed nodding towards the back seat. "get in the back," he instructed and you nodded climbing over the middle console to get in the back. he smacked your ass before you made it to the back. 
he put himself back into his shorts and got out of the driver's side. he looked around seeing no other cars or people around. which wasn't surprising since you both lived in a small town with a low population. he joined you in the back and you wasted no time climbing onto his lap. 
"i didn't take you for a public sex guy," you said as he scoffed looking down at you.
"says the girl who begged me to take her in the dressing room two months ago and your best friend's birth-" he rambled and you covered his mouth with both hands not wanting him to continue.
"enough." you roll your eyes as he grabs your wrists pulling your hands from his mouth. he licked his lips as he leaned forward making you fall on your back against the seat. the leather was cold and your back arched off the seat. he grabbed the waistband of your shorts sliding them off along with your panties. 
"this wet just from suckin' me off?" he mumbled to himself as he looked at your dripping folds like a starved man. he licked his lips again as he hovered above you reaching down to rub your clit. you let out a soft moan and he kissed down your neck which now doubled your pleasure. he pressed his nose against the curve of your nick taking a deep breath.
"did you just sniff me?" you ask in shock and he doesn't respond instead he pushed his fingers in your wet cunt. "cho..." you gasped at the surprise of his fingers. his fingers were thicker and longer than yours hitting spots you haven't been able to reach this last month.
"yeah?" he asked knowing you would barely be able to form a sentence while his fingers pump in and out of you. you began to talk but he added a third finger as your breath got caught in your throat. the squelching was loud and the feeling was overwhelming as you grabbed at his wrist. 
"just fuck me," you said eyes looking around his face practically begging him to get to it.
"please?" he was still vigorously fucking his fingers into you not too much caring about your request.
"p...please," you repeated and he smiled pulling his fingers out of you. he pulled his shorts and boxers down to his knees and pushed your legs to your chest. he put his three fingers at your lips and you quickly wrapped your lips around his finger tasting yourself.
he smiled at you in adoration loving the way you were splayed out in front of him. he grabbed his dick sliding up and down folds and lightly hitting his tip against your clit.
"ready?" he asked and you nodded and he gave you that same pointed glare. "use your words y/n."
"yes im ready," you reply and he nods nudging your entrance before slipping in halfway. you moaned out as he stretched you out the pain fading away just as quickly as it came. 
to get you adjusted he began to stroke with just half of himself before abruptly pushing himself all the way in. you threw your head back grabbing the headrest with your left hand. your right hand grabbing choso's wrist that was holding your legs to your chest.
choso's eyes were locked on yours as he wasted no time sending steady thrusts. your moans were getting louder by the minute and his grunts became more animalistic. he lowered down so that your foreheads were touching. 
his eyes glanced between you and your lips not sure where to focus. noticing his indecisiveness you leaned up to press your lips on his. the kiss was nasty and sloppy while his thrusts were pointed and relentless. you moaned into each other's mouth as he hit the spot that made your legs shake.
"you feel so good wrapped around me. s...so warm." he whimpered against your lips and your jaw was slack in pure bliss over his sensual strokes. "hold your legs." he tells you and you nod grabbing behind your knees keeping your legs to your chest. 
he places one foot on the floor of the car. he wrapped both of his hands around your neck and your eyes widened in shock. with newfound stability, he began to send longer and faster strokes. the pleasure became overwhelming as tears began to spill from your eyes. 
choso loved it. the way your eyes rolled back and the tears stained your cheeks. you crying from the immense pleasure he gave you boosted his ego. he knew it was pleasure or else you'd be tapping out or yelling out the safe word. 
the roughness of his thrusts and the noises that left his mouth pushed you toward the edge. your walls tightening around him restricting his movement and milking him for everything he had. you couldn't think straight as your climax approached.
"cho...ch..." you mumbled not looking away from his eyes and he nodded moving one of his hands from your neck to your clit. 
"i feel you... 'm right behind you." he moaned out speeding up the rubbing on your clit. all it took was two more strokes before your body shook from the overstimulation. you saw stars as your juice drenched his shorts and leather seats. "yeah, that's it... fuck." he said as he pulled out and fucked his fist a couple times before he came on your pussy. his cum landed on your swollen clit and drenched lips.
"are you...?" you gasped watching his dick get hard again and you looked back up at him. that was his second nut and you were starting to question who this man had become in a month. he'd usually be sensitive after one orgasm but good enough to go for a second round. which never bothered you since you usually could go for just two orgasms before you were ready to tap out. 
"it's been a month." he huffed chest moving fast as he scratched his head. "just help me get another one i should be done after this for real." you nod looking him up and down, he looks bigger too and his jaw is more defined.
"how many times were you going to the gym?" you asked and he rolled his eyes.
"you can ask me that later just ride me," he said clearly not in the mood for your questioning. you rolled your eyes but obliged getting as he sat in the middle seat. you straddled his lap and choso pulled up your crop top letting freeing your boobs from your bra. you grabbed his dick lining him up with your entrance before you lower yourself down onto him. 
"wait cho you're too deep." you whimpered, it felt like he was almost in your chest and you couldn't move. 
"take your time. you're doing so good for me." he praised you rubbing circles on your hip as you took deep breaths. once you felt more comfortable you planted your feet next to him. you began to ride him bouncing with a steady rhythm. 
"mmm..." you hum as choso's mouth latched onto your nipple sucking a biting as you continued bouncing on him. he pulled off your nipple looking at your fucked out face.
"hah... you look so sexy like this love," he said fucking up into you meeting you with half-assed thrust. he was getting sloppy and you knew he was close. his hand slapped your ass and it only encouraged you to ride him faster. his head lolled back enjoying the feeling of you gripping his cock.
"close so so close." you babbled and he gave you a lazy smile. he gripped both of your ass cheeks lifting you and fucking into you. 
"tell me you love me while you cum on this dick," he grunted into your ear.
"shit... i love you baby, love you so fuckin much." you moaned as you came this time not only did you drench his shirt and face you even got it in his hair.
"i love you too mama" he hummed pulling out. "turn around wanna cum on yer ass," he grunts as you turned around and he grunts stroke himself to his finish as his cum spilled all over your ass. you both sat in silence as you both struggled to catch your breath. choso reached into the pocket of the backseat and wiped you off.
"don't ever... tell that bitch nothing else," you said still out of breath watching your now not ex-boyfriend clean you off.
"why are you even thinkin' about her right now." he laughed helping you put back on your shorts. which he now realized were the shorts he advised you to wear earlier
"just thinking we can't ever break up again, i'm not letting you fuck nobody else like that," you said dead serious as he laughed at your comment. he helped you to the front seat and started up the car driving you to his house instead of taking you back home.
-
2 weeks later
"did you hear the band's new song?" shoko asked and you shook your head not even knowing they had put out a new song. 
"no? choso didn't tell me there was a new song," you admitted and she shrugged playing the song for you. from the speaker you heard your boyfriend's sexy silky voice singing falling in love with the song as always. until. you heard something that just didn't sit right with you. "what did he just say?" 
"huh? i don't know." shoko frowned as she re-winded the song. you couldn't believe your ears. you both looked at each other in shock.
choso was singing about fucking you in the back seat. 
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jakedoxxenvasion · 1 day ago
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[3:21 am]
"wait! n-no.."you let out a small whimper, your body were toss on the bed rough, almost make your head bump onto the bed headboard but heeseung don't care much about it. "heeseung! i said wait!"
you yelled out, he rolled his eyes, annoyed to hear your loud voice. "wait for what, y/n?"he grab both of your wrist before he pinned it on top of your head, getting on to of your body. you could feel his hot breath on your ear, "have i ever fucking mention that you can do as you want?"
you flinch slightly as you heard the harsh tone in his voice, usually you would kick or punch him if he try to do something like this to you. but you know better not to mess with heeseung when he's mad, he's dead mad after he found out about what you did today, and where you go.
"h-heeseung.."you voice soft calling for him, you clutch onto his shirt arm. "i'm s-sorry.. please don't take him away from me."you know very well than anyone else what's the sequence of this, you did wrong and the usual flirty and playful heeseung that you always saw around is just not there, his eyes are not the same.
he look like a whole different person with that deathly glare. you let out a small gasp when he grab a fistful of your hair and yank your head back. "what i told you about na jaemin, hm sweetheart?"heeseung ask, his voice sound stern, different than his usual playful banter. "speak y/n, i can't hear you."
you let out a whimper before you talk, "you said.. d-don't fall for his charm, don't talk to him and.. don't follow him anywhere."you list out everything that you could think of about his warning of na jaemin. heeseung went away for awhile just to get you some drink and when he comeback, jaemin already all over you.
"right?"heeseung let go of his grip on your hair, he take a deep breath like he's trying to calm himself down. "i need you to quit the job, no more working at that club."your eyes widen when he suddenly said that, you immediately grab his arm which make heeseung look down at it.
you shake your head immediately, "n-no.. the club is the last option, how do i pay for my debt now if i quit?"the construction office, the shitty restaurant and the night club.. you already did all the job choices he gave but it seems like none of it end up great. "please heeseung?"he rolled his eyes as he heard your small plead.
"oh sweetheart, you forgot about my offer aren't you?"
offer? right.. his offer, "i told you i would pay all of your debt if you become mine, aren't i?"
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yoiiiii happy new yearrrrr ❤️ this just another part of that heeseung series?
but gurl i'm just too lazy to write for the whole things 😭 i've lost motivation ever since tumblr unsaved half of what i wrote huaaaaa but i love the idea so well.. i guess i will write again hmm
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obsessed-dragon · 2 years ago
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Coffee date 💕
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wickjump · 22 days ago
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a formal thank you to jakei for not blocking me for talking about cross 174832898 times a day. i probably would block me i'm really annoying. any way i very much extremely appreciate you andyour au.hhave a good break your so cool
love wick
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hammer-draws · 1 year ago
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It’s been FOREVER since I drew anything so I decided to redraw Shocked Quartz cause I love him
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loveguts · 3 months ago
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i’m not a transandrophobia truther in the slightest don’t get me wrong, but i think some people on here really need to realize and comprehend the fact that cis women, way WAY more often than not, hold extremely significant social and political power over trans men the vast majority of the time in our day to day lives
#sorry not to get on this bullshit i just saw a related post when i opened this app lmao#and by some people i don’t mean anyone in particular im not vagueing anyone or any specific post#and i especially don’t mean any transfem calling out transmisogynistic transmascs either#but yeah i see a lot of implication that trans men are like. somehow significantly privileged over cis women#and ofc i don’t mean that transmascs are incapable of being misogynistic to cis women bc that’s far from the case#but i need someone to name a transmasc with significant political or social or financial power that’s working to set back women’s rights#versus the amount of cis women with any of the aforementioned privileges working to take away the rights of trans people#bc i can think of 4 of the latter just off the top of my head without trying really hard#and the only day to day instance i can think of where trans men would hold significant power over a cis woman is like..#a workplace environment where he completely passes as cis and absolutely no one knows he’s trans at all or even suspects it#but then again most if not all of that privilege would be stripped away the second anyone there found out he was trans#but yeah i really do think some people need to grapple with how they conceptualize gendered privilege and their own power in these dynamics#and how that’s reflected in the way they think about/interact with transmascs#are you disgusted with this random transmasc on tumblr because he’s a man (or vaguely adjacent) or because he’s trans. ykwim#and again i hate the whole transandrophobia thing i think it’s stupid as shit and redundant to put it lightly and briefly but#idk why transmascs that believe in it have become the new face of anti-feminism and MRA movements#and not like. the cis men who started both of those things and contribute to the vast majority of that type of rhetoric in every way#and also hold enough power to leverage those beliefs over both women and also transmascs tbh#i think some people are just repulsed by the idea of anyone willingly wanting to be a man bc they see it as the same as becoming a cis man#in terms of privilege. when in reality by being trans you’re knocked down in terms of power and privilege from all cis people anyways#but also. some people also need to realize that transmascs can also have trauma and complicated feelings about being a man and patriarchy#and more often than not we ARE traumatized by the way cis men (and women!!) have treated us#and grapple with our place in the world as a result. it’s not just as simple as becoming a cis man over night tbh!!#and again i’m not talking about transfems with any of this because the vast Vast majority of transfems understand this more than anyone#i’m mostly talking about cis women both irl and also just in the terminally online leftist sphere#and i also think i should be allowed to vent my grievances with the power cis women often do wield over me without being accused of being a#raging misogynist or MRA or whatever
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crystalkitty1220 · 7 months ago
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
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#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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fidgetspringer-art · 1 year ago
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-Morningstar- Noah's jacket design.
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averlym · 1 year ago
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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himbeaux-on-ice · 1 year ago
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country roads, take me home... to the place, where i belong...
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cavity-collector · 5 months ago
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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vulpinesaint · 2 years ago
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mkay not to be like. a little insane or anything. but god i've been going crazy over religion (catholicism) and blood lately. did anyone else drink blood as worship every week since they were seven. was anyone else inundated with images of open wounds as holy. is anyone else consumed by the thought of holding onto a crucifix tightly enough for the edges of it to draw blood. i turned in a poem about drowning in communion wine in an empty church while bleeding from crucifix-inflicted hand wounds and trying to talk to god and my creative writing professor gave me extremely normal critiques i feel like i'm losing my mind
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thepersialionheart · 3 months ago
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Tell me why it's taken me a month to write two chapters of a fic (which, I'll admit has mayyyyybbeeee come up to almost 20k words already) and I STILL have the last chapter to write.
IT WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE A ONESHOT.
I used to be able to write a oneshot in a day, take another day to edit it and then post it. They used to be only 2-4k words.
But I started this small project, and it's already bigger than it was supposed to be and I only have myself to blame.
At least I'm finally getting to the climax, the point my mind has been building up to for the whole month. The part which has been replaying in my head since I decided it would be a good idea to write this.
It better be good written down as it was in my head otherwise I'm going to fuck off to the land of Never and disappear like my father's love for us did.
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killjoy-prince · 1 year ago
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Wilson proposing to House in a restaurant while House is on a date with a girl that thinks they're in a relationship but they're both trying to get with her so neither of them could get with her and then after the girl leaves he takes her seat and her wine and looks at House as he takes a sip was pretty hot of him ngl
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