#trying to distract myself from reality rn

[fangcaodi]

The eyes are mildly terrifying!

[exoscreamsoda]

its missing kaisoo hours..

kaisoo please come home... the kids miss you 😔

[tosteur-gluteal]

The

The MLB au brainworms...

[truthundressing]

.

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 07 ︴MAY 15, 2024

dear loass diary…

I just fully realized that I’ve been doing this like five minutes ago, so I had to write it here to get my thoughts out, make sure I don’t forget my realization, and hopefully have an epiphany.

So, context first. I’m sick rn and I remembered a specific part of one of Neville’s lectures where he said something along the lines of how a sick man wanted to be healthy so all he did was focus on being healthy. (semi-unrelated note to future self: Notice how I put “ALL HE DID” as in, that was the only thing he did? That’s because that’s the only thing he needs to do!! it’s all about having genuine awareness of obtaining your desires, stop over complicating it and trying to make excuses when u know damn well that’s all there is to the law). After remembering that I was like, “yo why don’t I try that” because why would I want to be sick?? So anyways I was like trying (emphasis on the trying) to imagine myself as my healthiest self and only be aware of being healthy. After two minutes of that, I decided to call it quits and thought to myself “hope it works.” GIRL WHATTT?? That’s my problem right there, I’m pretending even in my own imagination. I think I have myself fooled, that I’ve deceived myself into thinking that I believe I have what I want in imagination when I DONT. Right after my so called imagining I literally had the thoughts of a person who was sick, was aware and focused on my illness, and just overall identified as someone who caught a cold. and then, that’s when the common sense hit me and I was like “wait, who do I think I’m fooling?” It’s like I thought just because these circumstances exist in the 3D doesn’t mean they can’t also be in my imagination. It fr is like i see the 3D and 4D as something separate when that’s not at all the case. Because those thoughts of me being sick? That was a state, the was who I was in imagination. Who I am in imagination. Life truly is imagination. And I rlly feel that now. So, future me, let me try to help u out by telling u how to actually get into ur desired state and maintain it:

1. Decide u have it

“I have xyz” BOOM ur done, it’s done, because creation is finished. There is nothing to create in the 3D or the 4D, it already exists exactly the way u want it to, waiting for you. So act like it.

2. State ≠ instant gratification

I’m gonna hold ur hand while I say this, states aren’t here to be a relief or a distraction. They’re not meant to temporarily ease any anxiety u have. So stop treating the sowf as a temporary escape from the 3D, it’s real. and if u keep up this bad habit, if u start seeing the sowf as just a way to shut up ur worries without actually knowing it’ll come to pass, then you’re on a dangerous road that leads to believing the 3D is the real reality. And yk that it’s not.

3. Actually maintaining a state

U r meant to see the world from the perspective of ur desired self, the u that has it all. Why do u think it’s called the law of assumption girly? U gotta assume u already got it. My thing is, I have too much going on in my real life and I think “I don’t have time to be in the sowf I have too much on my mind.” That’s a problem because one, ur allowed to be a part of the 3D. U don’t have to pretend it doesn’t exist. And two, I’m identifying with the 3D and it’s circumstances. News flash, the 3D doesn’t just disappear the moment u say an affirmation or visualize a scene, u still have responsibilities. The trick is knowing that’s not u. U don’t have to be thinking like ur desired self 100% of the time so don’t expect urself too. Deal with ur stuff, but know who u actually are, who YOU chose to be. To maintain ur state, do whatever helps u feel like ur the u want to be. Revise ur day before bed, think the thoughts ur desired self would think, but don’t force anything. Forcing urself just means u feel like u don’t have what u want, and so ur desperate to get it, if u feel like u don’t have it, don’t force a method. Instead remind urself that it’s already done, it’s been done.u already decided that u had it, nothing can erase that decision except for u.

4. Getting used to it

Everytime I think of ur desired self remember that THAT IS U!! Not someone u could be or will be soon, BUT YOU RN. If u don’t feel that way, it’s because u identify with the 3D and ur past assumptions of urself, and we already discussed how that’s a huuuuuuggggeeeee no. Don’t force urself into getting used to it because, again, force means wanting to get something out of the 3D. But that’s not the real reality, so why want something from there when u can have what u want rn? Remember that ur imagination, ur awareness, ur consciousness, whatever u wanna call it won’t lie to u. It’s the most accurate reflection of both u and ur life. What u experience in there is ur real reality, whether that be the one u want or not. So girl, get used to being who u want to be. It’ll feel so weird at first, uncomfortable rlly. Cuz ik myself, the only way I’ll get in the state is if I keep myself in check. (going on a mental diet is okay if ur not doing it for the 3D, future self.)I’ll probably just be asking myself 24/7 “would my desired self think/react/feel like that?” And honestly, that’ll probably be the only way I’ll learn. Once u start correcting urself, for the sake of wanting to be ur desired self, it’ll come naturally. Both the habit of being in the state and ur manifestations

The law wasn’t mean to be tricky, how could it be when it’s literally called the law of assumption? There rlly isn’t much to it except assuming u have what u want by helping urself believe u have what u want, so stop trying to think there’s more to it— that it’s not that simple or easy. Ur wasting ur time with everything else, the overthinking, the wondering about the when and how, the over complicating, and the wondering if u did it right. Just be.

kisses, peachkkuma

[barbatusart]

Hi!! Sorry if this is forward but I’m a queer gore comic artist that works in healthcare and did covid testing from 2020-2022 ish and its cool and weird to see someone with such a similar background.

I guess I don’t have a specific question but I wonder what your experience has been like. How you manage what can be an emotionally and physically challenging job with creating an immense body of comics. If you find any connection/inspiration from your job or if art and work are pretty separate.

Sorry- feel free not to respond I know thats pretty vague and personal. But glad to know you’re out there 🫡

love your work, and stay safe (I’m not even patient facing and covid just ripped through my department)

from colleague to colleague, glad you survived frontline work man 🍻 always a pleasure to meet someone else who was there & who also happens to love drawing bonkers stuff hahaha

i was working general urgent care for a number of years pre-pandemic (I Am Not A Doctor I Am Not An RN Disclaimer Disclaimer Disclaimer) & i took a lot of artistic inspiration from that job from both person to person bedside interaction & the overall kinds of wacko things that can happen to the body - lotta saline-hosing out lacerations & dodging projectile abscess drainage & the like. (we got a really bad mandolin hand one time & that was the one time i nearly had to tap out 😬) it was a really fun job & helped hammer in for me that sense of like, finding the fine line between caring too much (and becoming so personally invested and distraught that you can’t do your job effectively & risk alcoholism or whathaveyou at home) and caring too little (and becoming so hard-hearted that you forget patients are human beings who are afraid). i think finding that midpoint strengthened me as both medical staff & as an artist and writer.

i did not cope with COVID frontline well because it cut me off from humanity. i liked my old job because even if people came with serious stuff going on, they were coming to us and we could Help - and testing was not Helping anymore, it was an understaffed meat grinder. it was testing pointlessly on people who were going to be dead in 24-48h. i wound up throwing myself into a massive 1400 page comic project (SORTIE) just to distract from the reality of the situation & wound up burning out bigtime in a way im still trying to muddle through.

i tried doing an autobio comic about the COVID frontline experience (antigen* located over here if you’d like to read) but i couldn’t even get through it & it kind of falls flat in conveying what i was trying to convey. i may try again on that in another few years, but we’ll see

[msallurea]

Tw: mentions of self harm, su1cide, abuse, etc

To anyone who is in the loa community and are currently in any abusive or traumatic circumstances whether it be through family, relationships, friends, etc and/or going through a cycle of suicide/suicidal tendencies/self harm and are manifesting getting out of it literally as soon as possible pls know it is 100% ok if u want to crash tf out because you're not out of the situation yet.

Currently I am going through both of these and yall I swear I was about to end it all and off myself just now which is actually why I'm typing to distract myself from it and just cutting myself in general, but with that being said mental health is real and it's a big thing and a lot of times the person that's causing it to decline does know but doesn't care or isn't aware but will still do it anyway because that's the kinda person they are.

I know we as loa content creators will always preach about the 3d doesn't matter and circumstances don't matter and etc but the reality of it is, circumstances really are hard to deal with especially if you're someone like me who is going through abuse and are self harming and it's distracting you from fulfilling yourself and persisting. If you want to cry about it you 100% can, right now I'm not mentally stable to give any proper uplifting advice and I would be lying if I said I wanna even think about the thought of saying "it'll get better" because in instances like this, the "it'll get better" seems like a lifetime of waiting to happen. Quote literally the only thing inbetween me n sudden death is my knowledge on the law..that's it.

And it is 100% true what they say that once u learn about loa it is very, very hard to just go back thinking averagely.

But what I am gonna say is, and it's only because I have just tried sitting here for 5 minutes convincing myself not to do it: do not harm yourself or off yourself. I currently don't have anyone to get me out of my situation (i.e let me move in with them, visit, etc) but what I will say is if you have a friend or anyone u know u can go to, go to them pls. If you can find a way pack your shit and get tf. I do not have that blessing but ik some have leeway to, so if you can do it pls do. Currently all I have is a friend to talk to and vent about everything that's going on which seems to make me feel better because I'm someone who tends to bottle all this up inside until I burst into tears and on the brink of just ending it.

I'm also not in a safe position to call for help from anybody but if you can pls do it. Call cps, call the cops literally call any body u have on speed dial for situations like this and get tf up outta there regardless if you manifesting your dream life or not. If you have enough money to leave pls leave and do not look back. I do not personally have these resources so I currently have no choice but to try and keep manifesting out of my situation but crying and venting cheered me up a bit so just hope what I said was a greenlight for you and may have helped you a bit too that you're not alone in your situations and unfourtanetly there are many who are dealing with the same abusive toxic circumstances.

With this being said I hope others like me can continue to work to manifest our dream lives and get out of this little hell hole 🤦��‍♀️ however I'm gonna be 100% transparent to yall, if yall do not hear from me I can promise you it's because I was on my last straw and I just ended it right then and there if you know what i mean, and as scary as that sounds, no amount of therapy, talking to someone or medication is gonna change my decision on this because right now, death feels wayyy more promising and peaceful than whatever the hell i got going on rn. ..but that's all

[aquariitheorchid]

BRO. I’ve known about shifting for YEARS (since like 2020.) but I never really gave it much intention or effort but NOW THAT I AM. I find myself in a better spot mentally. I used to be so discontent with my current reality. I still am. But now, I’m more comfortable with the things that happen to me personally.

I’ve been trying for the past two weeks to shift to my real, intended, reality. (Calling it that feels weird and oddly discouraging. It makes it feel other to me. It’s my home? Not a different reality. This is the one I’m not from.) I’ve tried sleep methods before, with little success. I didn’t try much though. But I’ve done a void state method these past two tries plus robotic affirmations when I remember or I am reminded of my DR. I’ve gotten great results.

The first time, I was unsure of my self and my surroundings so it messed with my method and I didn’t end up shifting.

The second time, I meditated prior, scripted some things and took some melatonin to relax. I also don’t feel 100% rn too, so I had some doubts. I didn’t focus on my method as much, and just coasted on vibes/ the comfort the method brought. Then it was so sudden, like I SNAPPED into place. I had shifted. It was so sudden, it caught me off guard. It was right at the end of the method too. I tried to focus on my surroundings and do five senses method (I am also just not good at grounding myself as i can't visualize much) but I also couldn’t focus on that well. There wasn’t much around me, and the audio was distracting me. Plus, I had a headache all day and it’s messing with me :(.

BUT I DID IT! I FUCKING DID IT! I SHIFTED! bro I'm so powerful. If I can do this, I can do whatever. I just choose to relax and not shift rn because I’m sleepy and I have things I want to experience with my friends and family in this reality.

[whoahoney]

Because life has hit me like a school bus, I decided to go ahead and post a little apology/update so no one’s left in the dark!

My life outside of this hellsite is taking a turn for the worse and requires more of my attention for right now, so until I can get my shit together plz don’t expect many updates outside of sharing good work on my side blog or interacting with moots.

I’m not exactly leaving— I’ll keep writing and posting it just probably isn’t going to be as often as I have for the last year or so.

I love you all deeply and I’m sorry to keep people waiting on our favorite characters, but I’d rather take a break and come back stronger than to burn myself out trying to distract myself from reality ):

This doesn’t mean I’m not down to talk and message bc I absolutely am, I just didn’t wanna keep anyone wondering and waiting on updates to my fics! I’m sorry if this is drawn out and repetitive but my brain doesn’t have the capacity to care rn lol.

Hugs and kisses and more hugs!

Honey

[emeraldbabygirl]

I’m sorry I know I said I wouldn’t talk about politics but… yeah I’m so far dissociating that I’m watch ingrown toe nail removals and eating candy. That’s my diet now. I’m not fine, I stink but can’t bring myself to shower I just wanna sleep for 4 years and pray that this shit won’t happen and we all won’t die. I’m so pissed and I want to do crimes to people and be violent and riot and protest I’m worried about my mum and sister and my friends that are black and trans and woman and gay I feel like I need to fly away and stay with them I feel like I need to leave this country but I don’t want to give up everything I don’t know what to process and how to process I’m just trying to distract myself from reality and I don’t even want to go back to work on top of their political views they want to get me drunk at a holiday party so I can “loosen up” I want to quit this job but I should be lucky I even have one rn ugh Idk what to do self care is out the window I just wanna rot in bed. I know I’m not alone in this but Idk what to do and what I can do I wanna fight I want to fight for my rights and the rights of the people I care about this whole thing makes me wanna cry, my mum has been crying and idk how to feel, what to feel, what to do I don’t even want to do anything anymore I want to give up even more now. I just want my family and friends to be safe

[elgascreamslikehell]

So, as long as i have insomnia (it's hard to find a mental issue I don't have rn, i mean I'm fucking Ash Ketchum but with mental issues instead of Pokemon's, catch them all, bitch)

I started a new story!

To basically scratch every itch i still have. I know basically all the main events in this story, i still can't decide if i want a happy ending or DEATH ANGST SUFFERING cause i love me some angst but i kinda want it to be nice in the very end? Somebody should be happy it's definitely not me then at least it should be my favourite fictional characters.

Anyway.

WIP WEDNESDAY!

‘Hey, Eddie!’, - Buck is smiling like today is not Monday. Buck really has this sweet smile which Eddie used to like… in the past. He remembers vividly the exact moment he decided he doesn't like this smile anymore. ‘She sees me’.  The exact moment his heart collapsed. Apparently though, ‘she saw him’ for not too long. For an even shorter period than Eddie himself tried - and hell he did try hard - to build something with Marisol which was obviously just a desperate attempt to distract himself from the sad truth. Where the truth was - he loved Evan fucking Buckley. His path to accept his queerness was hard enough. His path to accept that he is close to fail his friendship was brutal. He, anyhow, managed to deal with all of this. At least he was pretty sure he did. And now Buck just smiles at him. Like nothing even happened. Like he didn't smash Eddie's heart with three words. ‘Are you going with us to the bar after work? I want you all to meet someone!’. Eddie grins: ‘Of course. I hope it's nice someone this time’ To be honest, Eddie doesn't give a damn, who this person is. But he can play pretend perfectly. Even with Buck. Okay, especially with Buck. And where did 'you shouldn't pretend with me' go? *** ‘So, who do you think Buck would introduce?’, - Hen is pouring beer but she looks directly at Eddie. He doesn't like it though. ‘I have no idea…’, - and not that he wants to know. And why does Hen think he knows? ‘We haven't discussed his adventures much, so I'm in the same position as you are’ Hen's face is unimpressed: ‘Well, I hardly doubt it. I mean you and Buck…’, - Eddie interrupts her: ‘Are friends. Lately not even close ones i think… Why don't you ask Chim? He's his brother-in-law, he should know’ Hen stares at Eddie's face for a minute searching for something with no success: ‘Ok, if you say so’, - she's definitely not convinced but at least she stopped questioning him, switched to Chim. Apparently, he also doesn't know anything.  When Buck's entering the bar and Eddie sees him - his heart collapses again. It's getting annoying but he can't do anything with it. Because there's Buck, looking damn gorgeous, and… there's this guy, having his hand on Buck's waist. And Buck smiles. ‘So, guys… meet Sam!’ And here goes this specific pause when everything just stopps and all the sound go down, this pause needs to be broken immediately. And Eddie is the one who breaks it with: 'Well, better than I expected. Nice to meet you ', - and he is the first to shake this guy's hand. Right under the sympathetic glances of Hen and Chimney. Very sympathetic. Very uncomfortable.  He can manage this, right? He just has to.

I won't tag anyone cause today I feel like everyone hate me cause i hate myself but I'll be creating a taglist from interaction to this post.

I still write mostly because my mind needs to be away from reality, so I'll be writing anyway and spamming your feed so if it bothers you (i mean i mostly post writings and memes so i have some questions) you can ignore my writing tag.

[lorebird]

hi lore hi hi hi you said hisui headcanon lore???? 👀👀👀 hisui hc lore please 👀 ty

HIIIII I was gonna draw some stuff for this but. Alas it is 6 am and god has seen fit to punish me for my hubris (cramps) so I’m just gonna distract myself writing this while I wait for the ibuprofen to kick in

So this is like. Completely out there bc it’s just me cherry-picking the series’ worldbuilding that I enjoy (and also completely changing it) for the sake of self indulgence <3

The Celestica people lived in ancient Hisui and were part of a trade network with the other regions. 3000 years ago, there was a war between Galar and Kalos that resulted in the darkest day and the ultimate weapon, and the news spread all over. A few centuries later, a traveller from Hisui came across the decimated weapon and its story. Idk who this character’s gonna be, probably a new OC bc I can't think of a canon character to throw this backstory onto

A bit of hc lore regarding how the ultimate weapon works: it's powered by infinity energy, the life force of pokemon, which is canon. I elaborate on that by having all infinity energy sourced from Arceus. Every pokemon is tied to it through the infinity energy necessary to live and exist (oh my god I just thought of the implications of this for manmade pokemon holy shit that's so cool I gotta think about this more), but some have more power than others. Legendaries (and maybe some mythicals?? I can't remember them all rn), which have power over nature/reality, have some of Arceus' own creation power tied into their infinity energy. All those mons are some of Arceus' thousand arms. This power can be harnessed by the ultimate weapon, which is how Lysandre intends to make the player immortal by powering it with Xerneas (so if someone powered an ultimate weapon with Kyogre, it could manipulate the oceans; if someone powered it with necrozma, it could manipulate light; etc etc)

So anyways -- the Hisuian came back and began building a new weapon, this time with the intent to create an entirely new world, just like Cyrus and Volo. Instead of a singular body like in Kalos, the three "petals" were placed around the region, equidistant from the temple of Sinnoh in the center. Each third was powered by one of the creation trio's orbs.

But tracking down those orbs was tough work -- the weapon-builder, who I'm just gonna call ZA for ease, reached out to historians and merchants to try and locate them (no one knew what they were up to at this point and what the orbs were intended for). Once all 3 had been found, the finders were told to bring them to a certain location at a specific time. At this point, ZA was at the temple of Sinnoh in the center of a region-wide weapon, and they fired.

Each third of the weapon created a crater, the three lakes. I made this shitty little representation like 3 weeks ago DHFJDKFK it's based off my vague memories of the nationwide transmutation circle from watching fma like 6 years ago

The weapon tore open a massive rift that kinda threw everything to shit, like having a spacetime distortion covering all of Hisui. This is the threat that the ancient hero mentioned in-game solved (I like the theory that the hero is Alder <3 so he was dragged in by the distortion like Ingo was, just. A couple thousand years earlier)

As for the people who delivered the orbs and were caught up in the blast -- idk who the lustrous globe holder was tbh, maybe I'll make them another oc if I don't find a character to chuck that lore onto. The one who had the griseous core was Volo; Cogita had the adamant crystal. Like AZ, they gained immortality from proximity to the weapon, but also inherited other elements of their respective pokemon's infinity energy. Cogita can see the past and future; Volo can access the distortion world. The theoretical third character could warp space or teleport.

The weapon firing and ensuing chaos killed off a lot of the Celestica people, and the remaining few had no stability in Hisui and so left for other regions. A few centuries before pla, the diamond and pearl clans' ancestors arrived, taking up the title of Celestica and upkeep of the temple of Sinnoh. I'd like to think that Cogita had passed on some of the ancient stories to them, which is how they know about the rift and hero from the past, as well as Dialga and Palkia (even though things got. A little misconstrued there)

[the-hushed-one]

I can't move on from them no matter how hard I try 😭 It's getting embarrassing, what in a mental illness is this... But I just can't, I try to distract myself but they still live in my head rent free, it's just so hard to accept the reality 😭 I hate it sm I'm so pissed off. Kfkdkkxkskckskkxlsldldldlsllslciw7hfkdls

us bro us. I can't move on from them too. I am still at the restaurant and I will always be at the restaurant. I miss them so so so much. I wish they get back together because that was so much better then this Travis thing going on rn. I miss them so so so much

[evilfleursblog]

Uh-oh tag game. Thanks @saniremon! 🌟

I got to be honest I watch and have watched very few shows so maybe I can't reach 10 shows, but I'll try.

Columbo: he just makes me so happy, my blorbo, my husband, my everything I always smile when he finally appears in the episodes

Ghost In The Shell - Stand Alone Complex: completely anxiety free for me, I love to watch a great team being competent, and more blorbos (tachikomas)

RPDR: I don't know if it counts? I guess not because it's a reality, but it had saved my life so many times when I needed to distract myself from serious suicidal thoughts and I know it will be there for me if I ever need it again

I guess it's all that, I really don't remember anything rn, but they're pretty solid choices

I tag my brother: @alleycat64

[2d0rn0t2d]

hey everyone. long boring text incoming to tell you about where i've been lol (tl;dr ver. : college, stress, mental health, art block.) as for the long version

srry for the long period of silence. i don't try to talk about shit or vent online bc i don't like looking like a gloomy sack of ass but i guess it's better than going about my usual unhealthy cycle of going online for a little bit and make things look ok then just out of nowhere vanish out of the scene and make shit look more suspicious. i feel upset that i make people believe that they bother me or don't interest me or that i'm ignoring art just because, in reality i actually haven't been able to gather the motivation to draw for the entire duration i was off.

i'm also tired of focusing on college and studying just so i can feel like i'm not inferior to the other students getting good grades when in reality i'm just fucking failing all together in a lot of tests and shit which sucks. i've put off so many passion projects, hobbies, and all just so i can try and focus on "building myself a future/not get distracted by the wrong things". i'm really frustrated of living this unfulfilling life that depresses me when art and other forms of hobbies are the only thing i have rn to distract me from being so fucking burnt out and upset.

in general my mental health has also been acting up but i'm also working on myself and i'm really happy i've finally started to basically focus on myself and my happiness instead of basically living for the expectations of other people and doing whatever i can to not disappoint those i know (especially my parents). i guess a step to also do that is let you guys actually know whats up (at least the more general shit of whats going on) i'm not sure if i did it correctly or if it just sounds like i'm talking out of my ass.

thank you if you've read this text, i genuinely appreciate it and i appreciate all the comments, likes, reblogs and all the love you've been giving to my art. you guys have no idea how happy and motivated its made me and the confidence i have for my art has risen so much. thank you once again and i hope all of you have a great day.

[narryffdreaming]

Hey Dani! I saw your post about how invasive fans can be and I can't stop thinking about it since I read it. It's something I think about every time I post something in here because many times I use content that it's not from shows or harry's IG (you know photos we get from fans that met him or pap pics or things other people say about him etc.) Every single time I post, there is a thought that pops up immediately in my mind: "Is this disrespectful?" and when I decide to post it after all it's because I'm telling myself that I don't post about him because I see him as a content but because I want to express the admiration I have for him and also because it's a way to distract myself from things that makes me anxious (I mean it makes happy talking about him). Although I know that I'm trying always to be respectful (and I think I have achieved it, at least at most parts), the thing you said it's always a thought that comes to my mind when I do something that involves him. And that's why I feel so at ease when he is not working and we don't get any photo or whatever. Because sometimes we crave to see him and get glimpse of his life but that's selfish. He doesn't own us anything.

hellooooo <3 i completely get being here and posting things because we want to distract ourselves from reality (things that make us anxious, sad, etc), and i dont want to come across as someone who's above any of that. after all, here i am, writing fanfic and posting about how much i love harrys arms lol (btw, i also have internal dilemmas when it comes to my stories, i just wont get into that rn bc I'll end up losing track of my thoughts and never stop talking hehe).

SO YEAH, that all being said, im gonna answer your ask in the only way i can right now, which is reading """between the lines""" of what you wrote—but pls keep in mind that my brain is exhausted so take this in a gentle way <3 first, from my perspective, i think that if you have to CONVINCE yourself that what you're doing (whatever that is) isn't disrespectful to others because it brings YOU joy, then that's already enough to show that deep down you already know something is off and maybe, just maybeeeeee (bc im speaking in general not just about this situation), that it isnt the case. and second, are you really showing admiration for him if you're posting pictures he didn't consent? if you're posting pictures that are invading his privacy or that were taken when he wasn't aware of someone even watching him? arent there better ways to show admiration than to share/spread pictures of him trying to live his "normal" life? i get wanting to distract yourself from reality, i do!! i just think there are a million things there could be posted instead of these pictures/videos that are taken in a context where he isn't being treated like a human being. let's go back to old shows. let's go back to his instagram posts. lets go back to his interviews. his music videos. his movies. his outfits.... idk!! is it repetitive? well... yeah. but it is what it is. it is what we have until he's willing and ready to share more 🤷‍♀️

at the end of the day, engaging or not with that kind of content is a choice. and yes, whether we like to admit it or not, pictures and videos of him are content. content to feed your blog. content so people interact with your posts. so people engage, follow, etc, etc.. and it is my choice not to post or reblog that kind of content, and sometimes i have to ignore the urge to make an exception bc he looks so cute or so hot or whatever in one specific picture. i have to actively choose not to engage, and i do it bc i believe he deserves better than that. and bc i believe that my own entertainment or distraction arent above his personal space or boundaries or whatever. do i wish he would post 24/7 and let me in in his life? YES. do i wish i could know everything he does and stare at his beautiful face everyday? YES. is that healthy? probably not!! lmao. should i fulfill my wishes no matter what? HELL NO.

so yeah, i dont own the truth and i dont want to make anyone feel bad or anything, but i feel like we're the ones encouraging this behavior around him—we aka his own fans. so i do think it's also up to us to point out when it's too much or when we are crossing lines. not with hate or canceling people or embarrassing anyone... just bringing up the conversation and encouraging people to think about it, so maybe they'll eventually see things in a different way.

OKAY I'LL STOP NOW but thank you for sending this 💕 i tried my best to choose the correct words but im so tired that maybe i didnt and just know that i meant all this in the nicest possible way! <333