#isnt the right choice
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#crying in public is a new low even for me#sat is this tucked away corner of a costa trying to compose an email to my uni tutor abt completely withdrawing from the course after a yr#of no academia#and for some reason every song thats played from shuffling my playlist have been incredibly sad#im sick and tired of crying but why is everything so tough 🙃#this is what i need to do tho#trying to complete uni rn when i know id do shit and probably fail anyway bc my head is elsewhere#isnt the right choice#i just need a low stress job that'll pay decent and still give me enough time to spend w my parents bc idk how much longer I'll have with#them which is a horrific thing that no child should have to think when theyre parents are only in thei 50s#but its my reality rn which is what keeps making my eyes prick and sting while im literally surrounded by people#one step at a time#send the email enjoy my little treat go buy the milk get home and cuddle my bunny maybe have another cry cuddle my brother and fuck around#trying to distract myself for the rest of the year 🙏#god willing I'll get through this stronger than ever#wait i meant *rest of the day but rest of the year kinda checks out😭😭
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*types any question containing the word "empathy" into a search engine*
like half the results: are YOU an EMPATH??? EMPATHS are a SPECIAL ULTRA RARE SHINY POKEMON GROUP OF PEOPLE they are like MYSTICAL PERFECT FAIRY ELVES they are the BEST most MORALLY PURE beings on the planet they basically have MIND READING SUPERPOWERS and they are also SUPER OPPRESSED by SELFISH GREEDY ORDINARY PEOPLE who DRAIN THEM like VAMPIRES with their NEGATIVE ENERGY. if you are an empath you are guaranteed to get into HEAVEN 😇 but if you are not you are BASICALLY THE DEVIL!!! 😈🔥😈🔥😈🔥
#🐉#this isnt a dig at people with high empathy its just so bizarre how 'empath' is used as this like. moral judgement.#like if youre an 'empath' youre just an inherently better and kinder person#like bruh you realize that even if youre naturally predisposed to be kind and helpful you have to actually make the choice#to be kind and helpful right? 😭#anyway i was researching empathy this morning and god its painful
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Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.
Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.
And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.
And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.
So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.
I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).
And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.
I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.
#urianger had an integral part in the thancred-ryne situation and i think its very important to remember that#like i think he served as a very important buffer that prevented the dynamic from becoming even more strained than it already was#but also like. ryne NEEDED to have at least someone she can be comfortable around without the stress of her circumstances souring it#urianger is uniquely suited to play that role. even with his guilt regarding minfilia he never showed anything but genuine kindness for her#it helps that she didnt know about his hand in the situation existing to begin with (as shes surprised when he tells her in ahm areang)#THATS ALSO IMPORTANT BTW. like this man had a DIRECT hand in making this happen (even if it isnt fully his fault. minfilia made her choice)#AND LIKE. the parallels between uri-moen and thancred-ryne. they both love these girls so so much but cant bring themselves to say anything#urianger has been through the pain before. he knows. but he hasnt improved much himself. what right does he have to scold thancred?#silent support is all he can give. pushing thancred would make him a hypocrite and risk making it worse. hes not suited for confrontation#y'shtola and uriangers approaches to helping both have their merits but it needs a balance#too much pushing and the dynamic just gets worse but too forgiving and nothing will ever change#and yes i know im just repeating myself but ITS IMPORTANT OK#GOD#urianger augurelt#thancred waters#ryne waters#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#xander rambles#xander being insane about ryne#urianger actually this time but. its related to ryne so. it gets the tag
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Hey guys. Please stay safe and try to stay sane - we made it through this once before, and we can do it again. If nothing else, survive out of spite. Anger can do amazing things if you point it in the right direction. Don't stop looking forward, and remember that this too shall pass. We're stronger than them, and we have to prove it.
I love you all. 💜
#i know this isnt much#but words are the one thing i have right now#im pissed off and terrified believe me#but the future starts with us#and if you want to change it#you have to stick around#all i can offer is my support and a few choice words:#the world is on fire#but please stay and burn with me#💜💜💜💜💜
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sometimes i hate being a woman. why cant i do the same things as men without getting sexualized and asked for tit pics? why cant i play this damn video game w this random guy without him saying im shit bc im a chick and then asking for my number? why cant you KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR FUCKING PANTS? why cant i go to college and major in a male-dominated field without people expecting me to drop out and give up? why cant i get the same pay as my coworker? why cant you compliment my brains and not just my boobs? why cant you have a conversation with me about something other than burying your dick inside of me? why cant i cut my hair short? why cant i have casual sex without being seen as public property? why is my uterus your business? why cant i go on a walk alone? why do i have to check my back seat every time i get in my car? why do i have to watch my weight because "a man likes a girl with meat on her bones, but not too much of it", why do i have to fight EVERY DAY and even in my fucking SLEEP to feel like i belong on the fucking planet. BEING. A. WOMAN. SHOULDNT. BE. A. FUCKING. CHORE.
#female hysteria#female manipulator#girlblogging#femcel#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#female rage#lana del rey#lizzie grant#manic pixie dream girl#lizzy grant#feminism#pro choice#equal#being a woman is a chore#pro life#IT ISNT POLITICAL#ITS BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS#I JUST WANNA BE COMFORTABLE
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I know this may be a hard concept for some people to understand, but neither Bruce nor Jason was actually in the wrong during the kill Joker stand off, and I get that this is a difficult concept to grasp bc in comics there usually is a good guy and a bad guy but both Jason and Bruce had understandable and valid reasons for their actions, Jason had suffered so much and spent 3 years of his life building up this confrontation with bruce he wanted an impossible thing from him knowing full well Bruce would never be able to do the one thing he's asking him to do, and it's fair for Bruce to not want to kill its part of who he is at the same time that its understandable why Jason would ask Bruce to kill its also a completely unfair thing to ask knowing full well he'd never be able to do it
It's contradictory and upsetting since we know the situation was always gonna end horribly, and yet it surpased expectations, somehow ending up even worse then predicted
#dc#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#red hood#we all want things to be black and white sometimes#and obvious right choice#but there just isnt one in utrh#its sad but we all knew how it would end#what happened after is a different story#but im not getting into all that lol#oifaaaposts
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Does anyone else feel like while on the outside the lamb appears like the good one and the goat appears like the bad one, the lamb actually has deeply sinister intentions while the goat is actually good at their core?
Idk because of the whole "subverting expectations" of what a sacrificial lamb should be, it feels right that the goat would be the opposite
edit: yeah the term I was looking for was "morally grey" but I forgot mb 😭
#cult of the lamb#cotl headcanons#cotl lamb#cotl goat#unholy alliance#ig also cuz in the game you do have choices#and are encouraged to not do the right thing#as a means to an end#the slaying of the bishops and being a promising vessel also contributes to this#the lamb would manipulate their followers heavily#the goat would be sincere at heart#I love the trope of the innocent looking one being the more evil one#I guess the lamb isnt 'evil' but not necessarily a hero either#just my hc
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Sonic 2 won Favorite Movie at the Kids Choice Awards !!
I know its a little late, but I wanted to make some art to celebrate !
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#miles tails prower#sonic wachowski#tails wachowski#sonic movie#sonic movie 2#kca#kids choice awards#my art#knuckles isnt here bc I didnt think to draw him also he probably wouldnt see the point in award shows#hes right of course#anyways enjoy
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fuck i need to replay isat because i cant remember anything but um something something siffrin's increasingly concerning comments through the acts on losing his appetite -> getting violently hungry -> having tear induced nightmares about cannibalizing his friends
#food in isat makes me Think all the time. and the hungry. and then the gluttony. and the tugging on the stomach#THERES JUST SO MUCH WITH FOOD AND EATING IN ISAT THAT I NEED TO SLAP TOGETHER. IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS.#theres something About it to me. buit i am STUPUD.#<-hasnt connected shit#snacktime beinging them together and sharing a meal. but its the same over snd over. eating for your favorite food over snd over.#croissants. pineapple. banana. you dresmt you ate your friends whole. etc.#tbh the fact that loop and siffrin are so similarily 'greedy' but loop physically cant eat and siffrin has no choice but to is kind of fun.#maybe no choice isnt the right word but you know???? what i mean ?? you cant make bonnie sad.#in stars and time spoilers#isat spoilers#ofc when i first played i just immediately thought as the thg in your stomach as like when you feel a metaphorical drop in your stomach#st something shocking/upsetting/scary whatever. But. SEE THIS IS WHY I CANT WRITE ANYTHING I DONT KNOW WORDS.#i dont even have s good excuse. english is my only language. sacre bleu.
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when it comes to being willing to make concessions on methods & morality specifically in exchange for gaining batman’s trust & access to the inner bat circle vs rejecting an existing trust & access (because it did exist prior to jason’s death & would have existed had he chosen to walk back in with no radically opposing beliefs after lost days #1)….jason should never choose the first
#re: op’s tags on lrb. but once again this is unrelated to the actual post. It just reminded me#worded it this way bc jason could maybe give up killing maybe. but not for the bats. it doesn’t work bc he made the choice to#not return as a bat and he hasn’t finished justifying that choice yet. in fact it all falls apart if he makes concessions for them now#but whether he’s wrong or right and what he thinks abt that is irrelevant. he made a choice and he’s got to stick by it when it comes to#renouncing an important part of his ideology since his resurrection just for them#the point isn’t the killing itself but whether jason would be see the bats as a good enough exchange for giving up his ideology#and he clearly didn’t the first time he chose to kill (and at that time he was remembering a father that was much more loving than bruce#has been since jason’s death. an older brother who was more supportive than dick currently is — bc well. Jason isn’t doing stuff he Can#support currently lol— and etc) the point is that Jason looked at what is to him the better version of his family and still chose to severe#himself from them (or maintain/exacerbate the severance. since his dying was the initial separation) so why would he go back on it all#these tags should’ve been worded better and also part of the post. I’ll do that sometime when im not sleepy#actually the first is what helena does and it never quite works bc the bats don’t generally grant her the trusted status that most#newcomers are able to attain. and mostly that’s on batman. this isnt even what the post is about#so easily now#jason todd
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#see the issue is i feel like that isnt the main problem with kabuto here lmao#I've been gone for so long but ahem. as a kabuto scholar-#i feel like kabuto's main issue is that he was forced into this position by literally every outside force around him#the leaf village tried to kill him. he had no choice but to stay with orochimaru. after orochimaru died he had -nowhere to go-#but at this point in the story kishimoto doesn't want to acknowledge the problems with ninja society that led kabuto here#and that's why this explanation falls so flat to me#the most kabuto gets is itachi saying ''well it wasn't all his fault'' but not elaborating on why#and itachi is the one that is seen as in the right for making the decision to kill his entire clan in the name of upholding the status quo#so kishimoto can't outright blame kabuto's problems on the leaf village. so instead some reasons are thrown out here#that genuinely make no sense to me#and itachi claiming kabuto reminds him of himself also doesn't make much sense to me#because itachi always came across to me as incredibly sure of himself. always knew who he was and what he needed to do#which is... the opposite of kabuto#and itachi's explanation doesn't make it make sense to me.#kabuto had an amazing arc and this little summary from itachi here just ignores all of it to make up something entirely different#just in my own opinion at least.#naruto#kabuto#kabuto yakushi#mangacap#everykabuto#fourth shinobi world war: climax#chapter 587
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i think it's important that kit appears to straight up not know how to have a genuine conversation with someone. and a lot of that has to do with how he was raised, isolated with nobody really asking for his input or opinions, but for most of tda even when he's speaking to somebody he's rarely actually sharing his thoughts. and on top of that he's SUCH a people pleasing character, like beyond the initial snark he pretty much goes along with whatever people want or expect from him just for their attention or to make them happy. and on top of THAT, i think that tda is probably his first experience as like... a person among equals? i don't think it really occurs to him that the things he does or doesn't do impact other people because that's never been the case before, and obviously it leads to disaster but like i think he still just does not understand that his decisions affect people because he feels irrelevant and out of place among them. he can't feel accountable for the ways his choices affect other people because he just does not understand that he has the ability to affect people at all.
and like on ty's side i think even before the resurrection attempt he's very given to self blame, like when livvy gets hurt at the shadow market and he immediately blames himself for the injury. he feels an immense amount of responsibility to both livvy and to the rest of his family, and so many of his actions post-tda are rooted in this idea that he needs to do penance for the failed spell. (and here i'm also going to blame magnus a little for being really unnecessarily harsh at the end of tda when from everything preceding kit is literally just fleeing the country out of embarrassment and not really anger.) but he doesn't blame kit for lying to him or randomly dropping a love confession at him at possibly THE most inopportune time, he immediately put that back on himself and blames himself for being the reason kit left. there's also a lot to be said here about processing the world as an autistic person among an insular society of people who don't have the vocabulary or information to help you even when they want and try to, and how that affects the way you see your relationships with other people. ty doesn't blame kit for lying or running away because it does not occur to him that the fault lies with anyone but himself.
(also now i'm going to blame ragnor a LOT because listen if i was a 15 year old and traumatically lost someone i cared about i would probably not be making A+ decisions either but this man is a whole adult and also said not one word to anybody in a position to stop them or at least keep an eye on them)
so like at the end of the day i feel like so much of tda is about characters being so caught up in their own spirals of shame or self-doubt or pain that they don't notice what's happening to the people around them until it's already happened, and that even the people who love you will not always do it perfectly or even well, but as for these two hopefully that's the character growth we'll see in twp- kit now having a baseline of familial love, being an older brother, and finding self-worth to the point where he can hold himself accountable for the things he does and recognize his responsibility to other people, and ty growing in confidence and trusting himself enough to realize he doesn't have to punish himself or shoulder so much blame and that he can acknowledge when other people have not done right by him.
#anyway maybe unpopular opinion but i'm actually glad they're apart right now because i think they needed it#in my opinion if i'm assigning blame to this situation about 90% of it goes to ragnor#for enabling this and hoping that the traumatized 15 year olds decide to make wise choices by themselves#but also i hope kit is realizing he isnt 'nothing' and that his choices affect other people#and that ty is realizing that he doesnt have to atone for like just wanting his sister back and kit's decisions#the wicked powers#twp#kit herondale#ty blackthorn
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"the vast majority of legal persecution against early queers was focused on men" ARE YOU INSANE
#rot.txt#DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG WOMEN WERE FORCED TO MARRY MEN OR DIE. HUH. WHERE AM I#this is from the section in the new hbomberguy video where he talks about james somertons misogyny and lesbophobia btw#SOMEONES BITTER THAT WOMEN KISS IN CARTOONS SOMETIMES!!!#AS IF THAT ERASES THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF MISOGYNY IN SO MANY CULTURES!!!!!!! GOOD GOD#sorry somerton is just so insanely stupid i cant get over it. why is he like that#like i dont know maybe this isnt important but i remember being asked as a kid to pick a greek city state to live in#but i was a girl. so none of them were good choices because apparently i would be forced to have children no matter which one i picked#and i guess it just stuck with me. if the boys liked to fight they got to pick sparta and if they liked to read then it was athens#but what did the girls get. a little more freedom in certain places but ultimately the same expectation. have babies or die#in hindsight there were definitely options in ancient greece#but my teacher didnt tell us that. we just had to write about whether we would like to have slightly more rights or not#OBVIOUSLY gay men have historically faced discrimination but saying that it wasnt as focused on women is just unbelievably stupid#sorry i dont know if any of this made sense#lesbophobia tw#misogyny tw
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I feel post qotd reunion marius/armand have such a fun mutually requited kink longing going on like.
Armand absolutely wants to be Marius's boy-son-wife-sub again but thinks Marius doesn't want him as he is now, and Marius wants SO badly to step in as caregiver-daddy-husband-dom but feels he's already fucked up Armand enough for a lifetime and it just makes me froth at the mouth.
#incidentally i dont. particularly align with the take that marius doesnt go back for armand bc he loses interest or bc armand isnt 'fun'.#i don't think it was a good choice or right and in fact *that* is one of the areas i fully go for a flawed marius in.#but i don't think its as easy or as callous as “oh my boy is older and traumatized and not fun” i think its marius#*marius's own blend of repressed emotions trauma being chained to akasha regrets and inability to confront those things#marius/armand#marius de romanus
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more side character designs now to the tune of the Kil sisters
#original#ocs#character design#art#artists on tumblr#Ciara Kil#Naomi Kil#you know what's fucked up? never heard the name ciara until a few months ago. it's pronounced with a hard c. like keera. that's fucked up#anyway her name isn't pronounced like that cause i said so. it's a soft c and you pronounce the i. see-are-ah#hard-c ciara doesn't fit her. soft-c ciara does. it's fantasy i do what i want. i makea the rules#anyway. needless to say im in love with them both#naomi especially im sorryyy she's so intricate. she's got so much little shit going on I heart her crazy style#shes very good at Doing Things Right but it is an active choice to do so. unlike Ciara who is just really naturally personable and likeable#and so even when she's a bit unkempt or pushy. she gets away with a lot because she's so damn easy to like#wheras naomi is A Choice. she Is Right not because she's likeable but because she puts effort into it#shes obsessed with her image (who else does that sound like? almost like they're products of the same environment or something)#shes Neat and Put Together and very formal. very traditional#and not just because of that but not helped by it she's very distant. just enough to be noticeable but not enough to alienate her#because since she's so curated elsewhere. everyone she's distant to assume that they're just not privy to whatever else is going on#they assume that SOMEONE is. and that someone just isnt them because they arent good enough. naomi has a way of putting herself in a place#where she is an unattainable goal. and that's all in her pursuit of Doing Things Right#i could talk about her for hours also. fucking love naomi#naomi and ciara and julian are all fun because they're all. So Different. but similar enough that if you look closely youre like...#yeah. yeah those three all came from the same place and you can TELL#even ciara who is generally more easygoing than the others. you can still Tell sometimes#case in point: she's stubborn as hell and not afraid to pick a fight to get what she wants#love her.
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