#trying to be more self sufficient

[aroaceleovaldez]

i think the thing i'm most disappointed about with riordanverse fandom now versus like 2014 is not only has the fandom not gotten any less racist or queerphobic or ableist (in fact in some regards its gotten worse!) but now it's just boring too. like there's no fandom infrastructure anymore - the community these days is almost entirely source material-driven - and you deviate from canon even slightly people get weird about it. whatever happened to the post-HoO fanon boom. the fandom needs to get weirder again. and self-sufficient. and less offensive.

[ceramicbeetle]

comrade in arms pt 2 is kind of funny for hawkeye’s flat “oh yeah” for casual sex fans followed by his ‘im going to killing my self’ facial expression when margaret wakes up and tries to start LARPing a long term romantic relationship with him

[dootplusone]

(OG post has Reblogs turned off. You can find it here!)

(OG post has Reblogs turned off. You can find it here!)

(If the OP would prefer this post not link back to the OG post or is otherwise is not okay w/ this post in reference to theirs, please let me know in some form so I can delete/edit it as needed.)

Thinking. Abt this but with Bones. Like. Post-Tholian Web? Post-Mirror Mirror?

For AOS, could be after Into Darkness and/or Beyond.

A Bones who's just. So anxious. So stressed. So overwhelmed that it starts taking a toll on his health. Maybe he doesn't even realise - or maybe he does and tries his best to push through it until it knocks him on his ass. Kind of in the vein of "You don't actually know how tired you are until you stop. And then you just physically cannot start again." It becomes his new baseline, a problem that just brews and storms in the distance.

And he just carries on. And keeps going and going and going until one day he realises that 'Oh fuck, I'm not okay' and has about 5 seconds of warning before he straight up collapses, doesn't matter if it's on the bridge, in the madbay, on a planet - he's going down. (Maybe a repeat of Tholian Web where he just straight up faints into Spock's arms? Full whammy, why not)

Maybe it's a high-tension situation getting resolved that does it. The pure relief of it reminds him of how tired he is. How tired he's been for a while. His body sees that momentary rest and goes "More of that, please. And I'm not asking."

And he's so rendered by it that he doesn't grumble about being coddled like he normally would when he wakes up. He knows not to fuck with the medbay staff - they're just as firm as he is on recovery, and that's not by accident - and he knows that Spock and Kirk will be hovering, because they see any problem as something they, too, should shoulder the burden of.

...And because they're some of the most protective people in the damned universe. And that goes for pretty much all the people on board the Enterprise.

In some scenarios, it's just a case of letting his body and mind rest properly. In others, there's a lot more recovery involved than anyone initially expects. Luckily for him, he has a found family who are determined to be there with him at every step. It just takes a couple reminders, every once in a while.

[the-maddened-hatter]

I'm ngl, I never expected Game of Thrones to make me feel so parental.

[luv-again]

shocked myself w the knowledge i'll be 20 in exactly a month

[canonkiller]

i finally tidied my server up like I've been meaning to for ages. come hang out I talk in there sometimes

[a-concert-just-for-me]

I feel like I have quite a few red flags and you bitches must have deuteranopia or something

[ragnar0c]

Trying an abyssal god duo fight with only Hana and Alope. Remember me for the happier girl I was.

[wormtoxin]

updated personas/subroutines: (disclaimer: i still don’t think im plural, sorry)

Pepper/Clover: the main one, not even one of the subroutines really, just the blank slate object which all the others act upon. The physical body. The only persona recognized by society.

Autopilot: the regular forms and functions of being a human being. Wake up, brush teeth, go to class, come home, go to sleep. Sometimes one of the others sneaks in and replaces it without my notice, especially when I’m talking to other people, and I don’t care for that shit at all. Routine.

Rambles: Vile little subroutine that makes my mouth move well before my brain. Sometimes I feel like I’m going on and on and I can’t stop. I don’t like conversation much because having to talk necessitates Rambles and then I feel totally out of control and I hate it. Objectively this one has its uses but it’s also my least favorite.

The Wretch: Self-loathing subroutine. Convinced it’s a worthless fuckup and probably correct. Self-sacrificing while being selfish, apologetic while seeking sympathy, paradoxically victim and passive-aggressor. The worst of both worlds. I actually put a lot of time and effort into being properly accountable the way a human being should be, but sometimes i get overemotional and I spiral and that part’s The Wretch i think.

The Doll: Control, poise, perfection, submission, obedience. Maybe if it’s perfect we can get it right this time. If it’s just perfect then nobody can criticize it. Next time it’ll get it. Never does. Masking, I think? Maybe some kind of fucked up anti-masking? Can’t keep this one up for long. Wishes it could just be quiet for once and let our actions speak for themselves, but people keep trying to talk to it, and it inevitably slips away. Probably used it more when I was working.

The Dog: Playing, eating, sleeping, rolling, getting off, singing and drawing. Simple bodily expressions. Not so bright. This one doesn’t get much of an outlet. Kind of a lump, occasionally whipped into shape by expectation. I actually kinda like being this one but it’s impossible when being perceived by another human being. The most invisible persona of them all. Immoral (amoral?) and therefore unsustainable long-term

The Magician: Doing, studying, creating, dressing, presenting. A self-styled scholar. Flashy and stylish and confident. Would describe itself as “dark academia” or something similarly edgy-but-trendy. Work and school romanticized, transmogrified into an exciting fantasy. Useful for being productive.

The Witch: Free of responsibility to society or others or ethics. A heartbreaker maneater homewrecker bitch. A natural disaster. An expression not of individuality or self, but force and violence. Claiming anything it wants by any means necessary and destroying everything in its path. Selfish to the core. Chained up in a basement somewhere. It exists but it’s cruel and it sucks so I never ever let it out. But I like to remember it’s there. A trump card, a concealed weapon. Break glass in case of emergency. I feel the shape of its outline like a knife stashed in a boot and I know I could use it if I ever needed it.

Honorable Mentions:

Poetics: Playing with sounds, words, grammar, languages, ideas until they sound musical and pleasing. Etymology research, vocabulary buff, eidetic memory for certain words and phrases, but only when they sound “right”. Possibly used for all five senses, or possibly shares overlap with Composition (visual) and Kinesthetics (touch)

Faux Marxism: Self-righteous understanding of the dialectical materialist view of history. Used mostly for impassioned speeches at inopportune moments (Rambles) or in response to perceived political threats. Poetics and Faux Marxism are both very invested in learning as much vocabulary, history, languages, and multiculturalism as possible, but for very different reasons.

Horndog: you could take all of sexuality and sprinkle it across all the other different subroutines, OR you could concentrate it into one horrible little guy.

Puzzles: The subroutine that just will NOT let a problem go until it’s solved. Character designs, meaningless research inquiries, computer software. Very very very very rarely, actual assigned tasks. The Magician wants what Puzzles has.

Hibernation: Comfy cozy blanket pillow sweater cuddle nap pile. Memorized the rhythms of the winter hibernation episodes of Tanoshii Moomin Ikka and plays them in a loop continually year-round. This one might be straight-up biological. I think I might have a vitamin deficiency.

Fog: The squishy slouchy sweaty medium that fills up whatever psychic dream space all the other personas occupy. There used to be a sense of “me” but it got covered up by all the fog what seems like years ago. That sense of wholeness, control, totality, unification. It existed once. I like to think it’s still out there, somewhere, if I just get my meds right or get enough sleep and if I can just synthesize all the others maybe I can feel “like myself” again. But all the fog covers it up. Memory issues. Whenever I get a sudden moment of clarity, and I realize I’ve been one of the more loathsome subroutines, someone I don’t recognize, I’ll have just stumbled out of the fog. Always comes with a feeling of “Why did I just say that?” Or, “What did I just say?”. Dissociation, maybe???

????: see previous. The negative space that fills everything else in. I don’t even know whether to call this one “Selfhood” or “Synthesis” or “Control” or “Autonomy” or …”Me”. That’s probably most appropriate but it feels like too foreign a word to make sense of. Whatever was here once got swallowed up by the fog, and I don’t know what it is anymore. If it was here I think I could feel like a present sensor and agent in my own life again. This is probably what people expect out of “Pepper” or “Clover”, the flagship of the armada, the face and voice of the operation. I don’t know where that person is. All the subroutines (personas?) are trying to emulate her, stall for time until she comes back. She might not ever be coming back. We might be all we have.

[sleepy-vix]

being the first child in an immigrant family basically means being content with the bare minimum for everything

[epicdogymoment]

nichijou episode 8 part 31. good illustration of how in boke-tsukkomi exchanges the tsukkomi part completes the joke, not necessarily in the sense that it completes the humour and therefore makes you laugh, but in the sense that its required in order to maintain the pace and flow from joke to joke

[qualitative-decay]

settings person in the aftermath of nick's parable bc i got. possessed 😔

You can do a lot, with the settings of a game, if you know what you're doing. They've been performing triage as best they can whilst the Narrator meticulously vivisects himself, but the Parable is still dying.

Maybe they're just postponing the inevitable. Maybe they should just let it happen, let the Narrator and Parable (and the Curator, and themself) alike disintegrate byte by byte, until there's not so much as a line left of any of them.

They can't bring themself to, though. It's not like they've got any affection for him — they've found him more or less contemptible for about as long as they can remember — but they can still have a sense of self preservation.

....If they frame it that way, as self preservation, they don't have to think about the Parable using them for its own sake. They have to keep the wheel turning after all, they have to, they have to, but this is the first time it's been rendered so wholly their responsibility — the Narrator had kept it going for a long time without needing them to intervene.

Turning the wrong direction, maybe. Or... off-axis? Something. The point is, it's been eroding for eons; forced to move in a way it was never meant to. Stanley still had the scars to prove it when he left. But they didn't have the power to make it turn correctly again, and it was still moving, so they just didn't have that internal imperative to do something.

....Maybe if they had tried to, somehow, they wouldn't all be in this mess.

That other Narrator, stealing away Stanley.... okay, he might have technically sparked this, yeah, but. If they're being honest, things were probably always heading this direction anyway. At least like this, one of them can be spared the aftermath.

It wasn't like Stanley was particularly thriving in this environment.

(That was the first time they'd seen him smile in.... okay, they can't remember that, either. It wasn't like they really knew him or anything — they're pretty sure no one except maybe the Curator even knows they exist in the first place — but he was still the closest thing to a friend they had, so. It was nice to see him smile again, before he made it out. ....God, they hope he made it out.)

They're not sure how cognizant the Narrator is (or even can be) of what he's doing, at this point — they kind of suspect he doesn't know how to do anything else anymore, his obsession the last real piece of him remaining. For every line of code they manage to stabilize, he's tearing at three more, faster than ever. They're losing ground. They're losing coherency — they're part of the Parable just as much as he is, and they can feel their own code within it starting to fail. They think, somewhat hysterically, maybe they could just, somehow, cut themself out of the Parable entirely, before he can pull them apart with him, but.... Something intrinsically woven into them won't let them so much as try.

(They don't.... want to die. They aren't sure if they can, if they're even alive enough for dying to be the right word. But, whether dead or some other word, this is going to mark the end of them all the same, and they're. Terrified.)

[sonataforsybelle]

Sybelle's arc giving college freshman having a hard time transitioning to adulthood lately

[50000bears]

I need to save over $2000 to take my cat to the vet so we're really focusing on buying as little as possible.

March grocery trip #1: $13.70 total. The cashier forgot to charge for the milk but still took $2 off for the bottle return!

[tthegoldentouch]

Had an idea for an amnesiac character so now I sat down to research and....well I very quickly realized this won't cut before my semester exams end

[eimearkuopio]

We've got time. It will be enough. ❤️

Look, I'm not saying that it's our place as an organisation to dictate who does and does not get to claim monsterhood. I'm just saying that when the membership of the organisation in question includes a sphinx, a bridge troll, several mysterious hermits, and a pair of goblins where one of them always tells the truth and the other always lies, "no gatekeeping" is a policy that needs to be approached with nuance.