#trying to be mindful for my friends bc it's gotta suck

[izzy-b-hands]

Deeply craving a food* I absolutely can't have bc it would require being in ND rn

*flying style pizza burger at Big Boy, if you're unfortunate enough to be stuck in Bismarck, ND for any period of time go have one, then another bc they're addictive like that lol. Everything there is good and the money is worth it. Plus you can hang out in the huge parking lot and the birds will eat fries you toss out if you sit and eat in your car, just maybe. only do a few for the sake of the birds' health tho jfdkalfjdl

(politically related worries/things under the cut abt ND and travel)

And had the realisation just now that keeps randomly hitting me and tbh I may have already posted abt it but

I can't go back. Like, ever, for the foreseeable future. It wouldn't be safe; I wouldn't want to risk it just for food of course lmao.

But I'm not going to be able to go this summer to see the oldest out of my three younger cousins get married (if I could find the money for it of course which I know I can't no matter how much I want to.) I can't take my fiance there to show aer all my favourite spots and restaurants. I can't take aer to the best place near the river to walk; it's got actual wooden walkways over the low tide/kind of marshy area before you get into deep water and can see fish swimming around. I'm not going to be able to visit my grandparents or my mum (tbh more worried abt grandparents than mum; they're only getting older and they aren't entirely happy since moving out of their old house and I worry so much abt them.)

I had known that this was already dangerous even before fuckface was back in office; ND is on the 'avoid travel if you can' category on all maps abt trans safety in different states. But like. There was still a tiny chance we could make it work. Be mindful and head straight back to our hotel if we didn't have a destination in mind (aside from walking the downtown area for the restaurants and shops.)

I don't know entirely how I feel abt this. Sad, but in a certain way bc of the above. I should have known it would only get more dangerous. And it's not an exciting place; I'll make fun of it until the day I die in the way you do when you spent most of your life in a place and know all the good and bad abt it. But I did still want to take Fiance there at least once for a longer period of time; just to see the things I mentioned and to figure out how much Big Boy food I can freeze and how many coolers Delta will allow on a flight as luggage and/or carry on. Not to ever move back (FUCK NO), just one last visit and then I would only go there for funerals or weddings or baby showers or things like that*

*if I could afford to, otherwise I'm just sending gifts. On that note, like my cousin's upcoming wedding; I knew there was basically no chance I could afford to fly or take a train back for it. They've got a registry and I'm still planning to buy them something despite them and my aunt and uncle making moves that suggest they've gone from begrudgingly supportive of me as a queer person to slowly pretending I no longer exist.

My cousin is, apparently refusing to send me a save the date or invite, and per my grandma it isn't bc she knows I can't afford to come back, but she won't tell her the actual reason for it. My grandma is telling me to hound her and make my mum ask her why she won't send it, but I think that we would even have to do that, which I don't want to, is an answer on it's own.

And that's okay, or at least I feel like I have to be okay with it. The cousins and their parents have always been openly trans and homophobic despite my grandparents, bless them, for trying once in a blue moon to scold them for it. I think I was 'one of the good ones' to them while I was there, but now that I'm not and they aren't around me as much, it's easier for me to be the family black sheep and they can be open about disliking me just for who I am. It hurts, but in a numb way bc like. Dramatic metaphor but the wound was already there from years of listening to their bs at family gatherings and having to sit there in silence so I didn't get accused of being rude to them by them and my mum's bf. It's just more knives trying to go through a fuck ton of scar tissue, so it doesn't hurt like it used to but. Still hurts enough to notice.

I'm really proud of those kids; I may have been parentified all to fuck but I'm still proud of how I did my best to help raise those kids. Tried hard to teach them about being polite but not letting ppl take advantage of you (thank you to the self help books in the middle and high school library for that knowledge. Still can't apply it to myself bc I'm seemingly stuck in people pleaser/doormat mode most of the time, but I'm glad to have it regardless), to be brave even when things are scary, and to try and be a helper instead of a bully, though unfortunately their parents are bullies to everyone including their kids and each other, so that bit didn't stick as well as I'd have liked.

I want the best for them and I miss them. They may not miss me, but I'm never going to stop wanting all the best for them and missing them.

[dvrk-moon]

ENHYPEN ; 엔하이픈

HAVING AN IDOL S/O

requested : yes!!!

genre : fluff, crack

pairing : enhypen ot7 x fem!reader

warnings : cursing, this is long asfk LOL

HEESEUNG ; 희승

so you two trained together

and you mutually liked each other while training but didn’t really talk much

you ended up leaving bighit in early 2018 and going to train at cube instead

so you lost contact

but you ended up debuting as the maknae of (g)i-dle

and since you debuted before enhypen, you were more well known than they were initially

you were one of the more famous members in the group in korea, so your face was pretty inescapable

so imagine heeseung’s reaction when he sees a birthday ad for you for the first time

mind literally blown

so he’s like looking you and your group up to see if it’s really you (it is)

and he’s like damn i gotta get in contact with her again

but he doesn’t have an opportunity because even from a friends standpoint, he didn’t really have time because he had to focus on training and eventually going through i-land

ok skip forward and he’s debuted yay!!!!!

so you had a promotion period that’d lined up around a year and a half later where you made a duo debut with your member shuhua while enha was promoting manifesto

and heeseung saw you backstage once

between him seeing you for the first time up until that point he’d literally been trying to find out how to talk to you again

and this was his opportunity!

so before you went to perform heeseung approached you randomly

and lowkey you’d forgotten about heeseung until you saw him again lol

and you’re like oh hey… so awkward because what do you genuinely say to someone you haven’t talked to in like four years

but when you remember that he’s the heeseung that you talked to during your trainee days (the same heeseung you had a thing for) you are more willing to talk to him

but then your conversation is cut short because you have to go perform your song

when you come back, he’s still waiting for you :((((

like that man is COMMITTED to getting to talk to you again

so then after like thirty minutes of talking (right before he has to go promote his song) he finally gets the courage to ask for your number

and you’re like shit yeah

so he texts you like every day

and during your overlapping promotions, he tries to meet up with you backstage as frequently as possible

so eventually you gain feelings for him again (and he obviously does for you) and you start hanging out

but then he goes on tour for a while

you miss him a lot

and he misses you a lot

so when he comes back, he impulsively like picked you up while hugging and you’re like um okay MARRY ME

one hangout he finally asks you out (as more than friends) and you’re so excited

so you quickly begin dating :)

dating him is definitely like dating your number one supporter

like he makes it a point to meet you backstage (even if you don’t have an overlapping promotion) and he makes you teach him your choreography

and you’re like “heeseung i can teach you this at your or my dorm” and he’s like “nope i need everyone here to know that you only teach me your dances”

you’re like “???” but don’t question it bc he’s just odd

he prefers you to go over to his dorms because of his solo room but he’s not opposed to making friends with your members even though they’re all older than him

just know if you go over to enha’s dorms though they will 100% try to be around you all the time

and don’t get heeseung wrong, he obviously wanted the members to like you, but he also wasn’t anticipating his own girlfriend being stolen from him

you almost get caught by dispatch a couple times

but dispatch fr fr catches him at MAMA

like this man was so protective of his idol image for so long and the he watched your performance and dispatch was like “WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN”

does not gaf if you’re exposed tho bc he’s like “yup that’s my girlfriend suck it she’s MINE”

JAY ; 제이

so you debuted before him

by like a year and a half, so like january 2019

you were one of the members of itzy, which was the talk of the town for quite some time

and jay was actually a huge fan of your group since he was a trainee

your group had a few hit songs in korea but jay made it seem like every song of yours (yes this includes b sides)

you’d been his bias since your teaser dropped ofc

and he made it everyone’s problem to listen to your music during practice

even during i-land there were clips of him doing the shoulder move from ‘wannabe’

but i digress

so once his debut place is secured as of i-land episode 12 he was so excited that he might have the opportunity of meeting you

but like. he had to be normal about it

so he freaked out about you respectfully

but “respectfully” to him was mentioning you as his role model and ideal type

on like every variety program possible

like damn we get it!!!!

but your and his companies thought it would be just so silly and funny if they brought you out to meet him the next time he mentioned you

and so they did exactly that!!!

he was on weekly idol and all of a sudden you came out from where the staff were filming

he actually almost fainted on the spot

and you thought it was sooo cute that he was that flattered over meeting you

so you approached him and asked him for his number

cue him almost passing out pt 2

but you end up talking quite a bit

like u come visit him quite often and he comes to visit you

and he like is literally like the perfect talking stage

so it takes like zero time for you guys to actually start dating

but when he can’t visit you he’s texting you all the time

“your stage was so good how are you real”

always buying albums for each other for support

and he’s like $$ so he buys a ton of yours (and of his if you want some)

he gets so excited when he pulls your photocard and is so happy when you pull his because he thinks it’s fate

but the one time he caught riki’s photocard in the back of your phone he swapped it out for his almost immediately

he always jokes about his bias being yuna, and so you’ve started to make a point of saying your bias is jungwon and sunghoon

and because you did that you took a picture of you and jungwon once to send to him like “proof that my bias is jungwon”

that pic became his lock screen btw

you one time said that you were an enhypen fan and midzy and engene were freaking out

they were like “just date already smh”

little did they know that you already were!

JAKE ; 제이크

you were a year and a half their junior

and you debuted in kep1er

so the time that they were promoting blessed cursed you were promoting wa da da

and like you’d just debuted too

so you had just done a stage and were on your way to your groups van to go back to the dorms

and you go to enter the first black van you see with an open door

and instead of your members you’re met with jake sunghoon sunoo!

you turned red immediately and ran in the other direction to actually find your van where yujin, yeseo, chaehyun, and hiyyih were waiting for you

you told your members and they thought it was so funny

but jokes on them

because the very next week, jake had accidentally walked into your waiting room at mcountdown

who’s laughing now!!! (you are)

after the incident, he found you and came to apologize for walking in

and you were like “ohhh that’s so funny because i actually was the one who came into your van last week!”

but after the apologies were exchanged, you two ended up walking around backstage anyways and just talking about anything and everything

after you and your members had to go perform, jake just waited for you backstage

and once you were done performing you came back and talked to him more ! yay !

but then soon enha had to go on to perform b-c and by the time he came back, your group had already left :’(

it’s okay though because you left your phone number on a post-it that said “FOR JAKE” in their waiting room

enhypen teased him so hard but he was like whatever at least i got her number

so he texted you like almost immediately

soon after, you two texted like all the time and started meeting backstage whenever it was possible

jake asked you out for the first time right before you went on stage to perform and obviously you said yes

but when you went to perform, your voice was such a bright red color that it went viral amongst kep1ians (and later other fandoms)

after that stage, jake and you just sat and talked in the kep1er waiting room for sooooo long

he’s literally the biggest fan of your group

like he’s so open and genuine about how much he likes your group, and he always somehow has one of your songs on his recommendation playlists

and those songs will somehow always be sandwiched between the most beautiful love songs ever and it makes engenes go 🤨🤨

you also are open about being a fan of them

so basically your fans and his have already put two and two together very quickly

but the suspicions were confirmed when he posted a late-night river view picture on weverse and then you posted something extremely similar a couple days later

winning the idgaf war about people finding out though

like he’s like DONTTTT CAREEEEE <3 MY GF

he actually thinks it’d be better if people knew so that no one would try anything on you because you’re taken

SUNGHOON ; 성훈

you were the seventh member of ive, also known as wonyoung’s group

and like wonyoung is your bff

she knew you found sunghoon cute from all the times you’d asked her if you could come visit her on music bank days

so she wanted to play matchmaker!

(love me not reference?!?!)

anyways

she gets “sick” once and is like “hey y/n why don’t you stand in for me?”

and you’re like “yeah sure whatever idc it’s chill”

it’s not chill

for reference, sunghoon also thought it was going to be chill, because he had no idea that you were standing in for wonyoung

little did wonyoung know, sunghoon also found you very attractive

ofc he would’ve tried to get your number through wonyoung, but he was too introverted to even think about it

so when you get there, both of your faces are pretty red, but your cheeks at least cool down by the time you’re recording

his do not 😭

he’s like sneaking looks at you and shit

he thought he was being so subtle too about it like bye 😭😭

but fans love the interactions!!!!

and they’re sooooo stoked to have jungwon sunoo and sunghoon on the radio that you host after the fact

sunghoon fucking DRESSES for the occasion too like damn

and like you made a point to be like “nice outfit”

on the outside he was like “yeah it’s whatever” but on the inside he was shitting his pants

anyways

and so you asked him for his number because you wanted “fashion tips��� (you’re a liar)

so the first time he asks you out he’s like “let me style u an outfit”

and then while doing that he’s like “let’s date!”

and you’re like “well alright”

(jk u were just as stoked)

and dating him is so relieving

because you don’t have to keep the relationship (at least beyond friends) a secret

fans love the interactions

and so when you guys actually announce the relationship everyone is so hyped

like they already expected it

but still

he never misses an opportunity to talk about you on live or on a variety show

the interviewer is like “so, sunghoon, what was your favorite part of this comeback?”

he thinks for a second. then all of a sudden, “well y/n-”

like bro we get it

he just does not even care tho bc he’s so down bad

SUNOO ; 선우

okay now so remember when sunoo was a radio dj?

yeah

so you debuted in billlie, and your song, gingamingayo had just been released

and sunoo had heard it quite a few times already on his dj show

and he’s like “ok damn i get it let me look up the song”

he became a fan so quickly

like learned the choreo and everything

so the following week on the radio show he’s like “oh have you guys heard this song it’s so good actually i’m a fan of this group”

and then BOOM next week you’re on the show he radio djs for

chemistry between u guys went CRAZY

and then you filmed a tiktok together

and posted it like a week after the radio episode had gone viral

engenes and belllie’ves went crazy

you guys had already exchanged numbers at that point too

so getting to laugh about your fans freaking out was super fun to you two

you started visiting him at radio show schedules in secret after the fact

so he ends up asking you out about a month later

and ofc you say yes

so once you started dating, he would visit you at your schedules a lot

you would often pretend to be a staff member at the radio show so you could be there without raising much question

but then one time you were a “special guest” on the radio show again, and you filmed another tiktok, but this time it wasn’t like one of your group’s dance challenges

it was like a cute trend

so once you got the okay to post it, you did

this confirmed to engenes and belllie’ves that you were friends at the very least

he always finds a way to sing your songs on live

doesn’t ever sing when it’s your part though 🤨🤨🤨 it’s almost like he wants to hear your voice

one time he came to one of your fansigns “anonymously”

people found out it was him so quickly 😭

he’s so shameless about people knowing though

after that, fans basically already know you’re dating even if you don’t outright say anything

nobody actually cares though

they’re just waiting for that third y/noo tiktok 🙏

JUNGWON ; 정원

you debuted in illit, as a result of the belift survival show “r u next?”

you came in first place, just like jungwon did on i-land

so naturally, under the same sublabel, illit and enhypen passed each other quite frequently

you’ve actually interacted quite a bit with the other members

but for some reason, their leader was a bit standoffish to you

and you had absolutely no idea why he would be

you thought that maybe it was because you’d also come in first place on your respective survival show, so maybe he had one sided beef with you?

it didn’t make sense but that’s just what you assumed

actually ☝️🤓 jungwon had a big fat crush on you

and had no idea what to do about it

like he secretly supported you on r u next? and everything

so eventually, belift decides to make a variety show for illit and enha

as the first place winners, you two are paired together, along with your japanese maknaes, ni-ki and iroha

iroha and ni-ki were already acquainted, so iroha told ni-ki about how funny it was that you and jungwon were in the same group, given that jungwon hated you

and ni-ki’s like ?!

so he like goes up to jungwon and is like “she thinks you hate her bro”

he’s so embarrassed to find out that you thought he hated you

ni-ki teases him so hard about it

so eventually jungwon admits to you (off-camera) that he doesn’t hate you, and in fact he’s quite fond of you

it lifts the biggest weight off his chest when you also admit that you’re fond of him, and that he was your role model ever since you’d joined r u next?

after filming, you two exchange numbers

he’s such a baby like seriously how could you think he hated you

it doesn’t take long AT ALL for you to start dating

in fact hybe/belift encourages it because they think it’ll be good exposure for both groups

and it highkey is

in korea, you guys gain the title of “first place couple” and omgggg knetz eat that up

you’re invited on a ton of variety shows together

jungwon is sooooo so supportive and is lowkey a stan of your group

he like sends you your fancams and is like “teach me this dance pls”

when your two groups pass each other in the hallways, enha and illit always make it a point to tease you two

you guys don’t mind though because at least you have each other ☝️☝️

RIKI ; 니키

you debuted as the maknae of loona

so you’d been in the industry a few years longer than enhypen had

so riki knew of you, but you weren’t super familiar with them

but the both of you were invited onto a variety program for foreign idols

you ended up becoming more familiar with them after being paired together with riki for a couple challenges

one interaction you had made you two go completely viral after executing a twice choreography together extremely well

both bbc and belift saw this as an opportunity to make some money, so they kinda forced you and riki to get close

little did they know that’s what you both wanted anyways lol

so like you’ll have a live with him

or you’ll film a tiktok together

or you’ll post something together

etc

somewhere along the lines you two start dating in secret

namely after you two filmed a live together

and he saw one of the comments that said “y/n please do perfect idol challenge” and you started doing the perfect idol dance on live

you started giggling because you started to forget the dance because you were embarrassed and he was smiling like a fucking maniac and then he realized he really really liked you more than a friend

and so soon after he didn’t wanna waste any more time and he just confessed that he liked you

and you were like “no way me too!!!!”

(everyone could tell)

it wasn’t super in secret though

because belift/bbc had that “bffs for life” image for you two

so you could interact freely

it just took every bone in riki’s body to not grab your hand and pull you into his arms during a dance live

but then womp womp

dispatch exposes you guys like four months into the relationship

no one cares though (except delulu fans)

so when you terminate your contract with bbc for the mistreatment, engenes beg you to audition for hybe/belift because they’re afraid if you go somewhere else you won’t be able to interact freely with him anymore and they love your interactions

you end up joining ctd, which is the company of one of the post-loona acts, along with five of your ex-members

luckily ctd is a good company so they let you and riki still stay together and still have your lives

one time riki was doing a weverse live and you showed up

and fans absolutely LOVED it

ctd is an unknown company so they unexpectedly got a lot more sales with this relationship

they were like DAMN OK

anyways

you guys teach each other your choreos A LOT

like a lot

riki eats them up so bad like fans start saying he’s the seventh member of your group 😭

a/n : had to include illit in this somehow i love them they’re so cute. sorry for the lack of posts i am sooooooo fucking busy and this was in the drafts for forever

[agaypanic]

Benny weir x gothic!reader (??) She joins the school and the gang think she's a new vampire but she just wears a lot of black... I love a good black cat gf x golden retriever boyfriend. Love your character choices and your writing is just *mwah* chefs kiss <3

A Geek and a Goth (Benny Weir X Gothic!Reader)

Masterlist

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Summary: The gang thinks they have a new vampire on their hands. Benny, thinking you’re hot, volunteers to investigate. 

A/N: watched the last season of WWDITS and omfg i dunno what to do with my life now. This def feels like a real mbav episode plot bc i feel like the boys would be stupid enough to assume that someone dressed in all black must be a vampire instead of just liking dark clothing lol reader is described as having pale-ish skin but it’s bc she wears lighter foundation/concealer, so she can be read as any race/skin tone

***

The gang has had their fair share of dealing with evil vampires, and evil people in general. It makes them cautious of any new person that comes to town. Sure, the new kid at school could be someone who happened to move to Whitechapel with their family. But nine times out of ten, they’re actually someone plotting to take over the world and decided to start at some random town in Ontario, Canada.

You were no exception to the group’s suspicions. 

“Definitely a vampire,” Ethan said as he, Rory, and Benny not so discretely stared at you. “Dark clothes, long layers, pale skin. It’s like she came out of a Dracula movie or something.”

“I’m a vampire, and I don’t dress like that.” Rory countered. “But she does look cool… Maybe I should start dressing like that.” The blonde gasped, ideas coming to mind. “I could get a cape!”

Ethan rolled his eyes at Rory straying from the topic at hand. “Maybe she’s an older vampire. The point is, we should be careful.”

“I’m gonna go talk to her.” Benny decided aloud. His friends gave him a wary look. “What? Either she’s just a new kid who could use some friends, or she’s an evil vampire coming to kill us and take over the world. Might as well talk to her and find out.”

Before either of his friends could talk him out of it, Benny strided over to you across the hall. As he made his way, you being an immortal being wasn’t on the forefront of his mind. Instead, it was your appearance. More specifically, how attracted he was to your gothic clothing and somewhat extravagant makeup. One thing was for sure: you definitely stood out in this cookie-cutter town.

You were startled by Benny leaning against the locker next to yours, looking at you with a slight smirk. “Hey.”

“Hi…?” Both confused and curious by his sudden entrance, you gave him a once over before going back to shoving books into your bag.

Benny, clearly surprised that he had made it this far, cleared his throat and straightened up. “So, are you new or something?”

‘Wow, this guy’s a genius,’ you thought sarcastically. Shutting your locker door, you focused on him a bit more. Despite trying to appear suave with his pose and dopey smirk, you could tell he was more of a geeky type with his Star Wars shirt and satchel bag. Not that that was a bad thing. “Yeah.” You finally replied. “Moved here a week or so ago.” You stuck a hand out. “I’m Y/n.”

The boy smiled, grasping your hand and giving it a firm shake. “Benny.” He said. 

“Nice to meet you…” You trailed off, eyes straying to two boys staring intently at you from behind his shoulder. Seeing that you were looking at them, they jumped in surprise and started looking around for something else to focus on. “Benny.” The bell rang, and you let go of his hand. “Well, I should probably head to class.”

He clicked his tongue in slight disappointment and adjusted the strap of his bag. “Yeah, me too… Hey, what class do you have?”

It took you a minute to recall. “Uh, science.” Then you let out a huff. “Gotta go to the building on the other side of campus. And it’s so bright out, that’s gonna suck.” Benny perked up at your distaste. “Well, maybe I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah.” He seemed distracted, eyes following your departed form until you rounded the corner. “See you around.”

Whether it was alluring vampire powers or just pure hotness, one thing was for sure. Benny was caught in whatever trap you had knowingly or unknowingly set for him.

***

Weeks had gone by, and Benny still couldn’t determine if you were human or vampire. Despite Ethan’s protests, the young wizard was around you every chance he got. He insisted to his friends that it was to find out the truth about your identity, but it was because he was growing increasingly infatuated with you.

You’ve never hung out outside of school before, but that was about to change. Benny wanted to see you in a different environment, one that could give him answers. From what he’d seen so far, you don’t like the sunlight, you don’t eat anything during lunch at school, you consistently wear long dark clothes, and you still have a pale look to you. He hadn’t seen fangs yet, but he knew from experience with his friends that they were retractable, so he figured that maybe you were better about keeping them out of sight than the other vampires he knew.

“So, have you explored town much?” Benny asked as you walked out of school. You wore your usual attire and some oversized sunglasses, as today was another sunny day. 

“Not really.” You respond, adjusting your bag. “I like being at home more. Not that I don’t like this! This’ll be fun… probably.”

Benny laughed, feeling proud when you let out a chuckle of your own. “Yeah, I was thinking we could get some food and maybe go to some of the shops in town.”

He gauged your reaction to the mention of food. It seemed like you didn’t mind it. “Sounds like fun.”

The walk wasn’t too far or long. Benny noticed that whenever possible, you would go into the shade, but he didn’t say anything about it. 

Eventually, you reached a fast food place that Benny and Ethan frequented. He was a bit surprised that you actually ordered some food, considering he had never seen you eat at lunch. Wanting to be a gentleman, he insisted on paying and letting you choose what booth to sit in.

When you settled into your seats, Benny was suddenly itching to ask you upfront whether you were a vampire. It seemed like a safe setting to do so, for him at least. There were a few people around, so you’d have to at least wait a while to kill him for exposing your identity. And if you weren’t a vampire, he hoped you would have a good sense of humor about the whole thing.

“I have a question.” He asked after taking a bite of his burger. You raised a brow, taking a sip of your drink. “It’s a serious question.”

“Okay…” You racked your brain, wondering what he was about to ask.

Benny looked around, making sure the people around would be out of earshot before leaning a bit closer to you. 

“Are you a vampire?”

There was a giant moment of silence, and Benny felt like he had immensely fucked up. You just stared at him, processing the question.

And then you snorted.

And then you started laughing.

“Funny, Benny.” You said before finally taking a bite of your food. “Very funny.”

“I’m serious.”

You laughed again. “What, is it all the black?”

Benny’s eyes narrowed at you. “You hate sunlight.”

“Correction, I hate direct sunlight. A bit of cloud cover is fine.”

“You never eat at school.”

“School food is gross.”

“You’re pale.”

“Again, hate direct sunlight. Also, this isn’t my actual skin tone.” Benny started to look puzzled. “I usually go a shade or two lighter; it helps with the gothic look. ‘Are you a vampire?’” You imitated his question before laughing again. “You’re such a nerd, Benny. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“Wha-” Benny choked out, feeling like he got whiplash. “So, not a vampire…”

“Not a vampire.” You confirmed. “Just a goth.”

***

Benny Weir Taglist: @batmandallyboy @june-julie

[cutecatlov3r]

kinktober: chastity~ shoyo hinata

synopsis: corrupting your pure friend . you gotta teach him the basics of course, he doesn’t know much, what better way to show him where to start by teaching him how to masturbate first ?

warnings/tw: aged up! corruption, masturbation, cum play, handjob, and porn with a plot(?) BONUS [twt links !]

the character ai bot that I made in honor of this: here

not proofread // posted early bc ily !

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“e-eh?! woah uh wait! i uh! no don’t-!” he protested, watching how your hand was trailing his thigh. you were rubbing little circles on his thighs under the cover. you and him were friends, you have been for awhile. of course you knew that he was a major ‘no sex’ sort of person. he invited you for a movie and now here you were trying to make a move on him. why wouldn’t you? he’s fucking hot.

“you know I don’t do those things! im waiting until marriage,” he continued, shaky breaths. he could feel himself crumbling underneath your touch. his face was flushed a dark red color.

“oh cmon! don’t be such a prude… look at how cute your cock is. sprung up so quick… as soon as I put my hand here,” you gave him and innocent smile.

he gulped slightly, shaking his head slowly, sinking into the couch you both were on. he was anxious, breathing quickly. he shut his eyes, balling his palm into a fist to feel his purity ring.

“no… I’m waiting until marriage,” he blushed.

you bit your lip slightly, seeing him so flustered made you so goddamn turned on. you wanted those same fingers inside of you, oh how erotic it would be for him to finger fuck you with his cute little purity ring on.

“shoyo please,” you hummed, hand trailing a bit more up. his cock twitched slightly, he winced at the sensitivity. “I’ll make you feel so good~” you teased, palming his pulsing dick.

he looked at you with pleading eyes. his mind said it was a bad idea… but his dick just needs her. he’s never been the type to give into any temptation, he wouldn’t even watch porn. but now that you’re in front of him, boobs squished against his arm, hand on his thigh, it made him rethink.

“let me show you how it feels to feel so good…” you whisper in his ear. he let out another shaky breath, looking over at you. your eyes were so seductive, he was drawn to them.

“no…”

“please shoyooo~” your voice sang slightly, fingers teasing the waist band of his shorts

…

“show me…” he mumbled, looking away from her. it was way too embarrassing. he couldn’t even believe those words escaped his mouth. why did he feel so horny? why did he want to stick his dick inside of you. he wondered what it looked like, what it’d feel like… your gummy walls clinging onto his hard cock… the wetness… softness.

you smirk to yourself, grabbing his chin to face you. you wanted to see his cute little flushed face.

“how should I show you what to do? maybe you need to see what we’re gonna do soon huh? you ever watch porn?”

he blushed at your straightforward question, shaking his head ‘no’. you chuckle at his innocence. of course he hasn’t. you bet he probably hasn’t ever came from touching himself… he’s probably never even touched himself.

“ever… hmmmm touch yourself?” you asked in your cheerful voice.

once again he shook his head ‘no’. you looked at him, amused. so cute, so ready for you to corrupt his mind.

“such a bad idea…” he mumbled to himself. he couldn’t believe he agreed.

you pulled out your phone, going on Twitter, you scrolled through dozens of porn accounts searching for just the right video to show him. it would be his first time watching it so…

you click on this video.

you make him hold the phone, hand stroking his clothed, painfully hard cock. he watched, blushing, eyes staring on to the phone. the way the girl got fucked from behind… sucking on the guy’s dick afterward made his cock leak some precum. the girl was so eager for the man’s cum… maybe he wants that… but yet he still doesn’t know how.

as he watched, your hand rubbed his clothed cock up and down. you teased his leaking tip by putting just a finger on it. he whimpered slightly, still paying attention to the video.

“shoyo… let me see it” you giggle.

he looked at you with a small blush. why did you have to ask it like that? so embarrassing for him.

“okay…” he set the phone down, pulling down his shorts slowly. his hard dick hit his abdomen straight away, causing him to hiss at how sensitive he was.

his cock was pretty average, thick, a vein running on the left side, and slightly curved. not shaven, he never cared for those types of things because he didn’t think he’d ever be doing this sort of thing before marriage. his cock was almost tempting you with its pink flush on the tip to just hop on it and ride. he was embarrassed, looking at himself. the precum spilling out made him ashamed that he’s gotten this far with you.

you chuckled at his facial expression, grabbing your phone. you chose another video for him to watch.

ultimately you decided on this one.

you placed your phone back in one of his hands, guiding the other. his eyes were glued on to the phone, like an addict. the way he wasn’t giving the girl the time of day to catch her breath… he moved so fast, he bet that the guy’s cock was feeling so amazing.

you guided his hand to wrap around his own cock, pumping it. you couldn’t feel the soft flesh, giving him the opportunity to feel himself.

his breath was hitching, eyes off the phone. he felt weak. he didn’t mean to but his shaky hand dropped your phone on to the couch. the woman’s moans echoing off in the room.

he watched as you helped him rub himself. the way his thumb hit his tip here and there made him see stars. his back arched slightly when you started to move his hand faster.

you put a wad of spit on his twitching cock, making him moan. the spit spread over his dick and hand as he pumped, making him feel extra euphoria. he shut his eyes to chase his high.

he felt like he was gonna shoot something out soon. maybe it was that liquid that he sometimes saw when he woke up. he never understood why it happened but he never paid mind. he dug his nails into the couch, moaning and groaning.

“y/n… st-stop it’s too mu-“

“i stopped controlling your hand awhile ago,” you chuckle.

he looked down and saw that his own hand was pumping himself, shame throughout his body. but he didn’t want to pull away. he wanted to chase this high that was coming. he felt too alive, his hand was moving on its own, as if he had no control over it

you giggle to yourself, amused as you watched him masturbate. he was such a whiny and whimpering mess.

“god…! i can’t- im!” he whined, rubbing faster. as soon as he rubbed his dick faster, white splurges of his cum landed on to his stomach and a bit on the couch. he panted, looking at the white sticky substance.

you smile, grabbing his hand that had his cum. you licked it all clean, teasing his fingers as you shoved them down your throat.

his cock twitched at this action. the sensation of your saliva and tongue on his finger pads made him feel tingly.

your eyes were like a hungry lust demon… he was so fucked.

“we aren’t done yet shoyo,”

-

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[princessfaerygia]

My boyfriend thinks evolving means learning and doing new things and fun stuff. I do too, but different sort of "fun" stuff. Like living Christlike and in tune with nature the deep ecology of earth. He says all I like to do it sit in silence and pray. That's not true I love cuddling and kissing him and getting back massages. My eating disorder is out of hand. I need change. I hate living with my parents cus my unforgiving tyrannical older brother lives there and puts everyone down. I would say it's elder abuse against my ailing parents who have Parkinson's and multiple sclerosis. But it is what it is. I won't be able to date anyone once I go back there. It's cop country in my town everyone waving police support tshirts and flags. When I go to the gym there I workout next to the sheriff. When I was psychotic the cops used to stop me and bother me and make me go home when I was just trying to escape to a Christian farm. I am trapped in so many ways. My family basically kept me prisoner there instead of me making yerba mate tea and living sustainable natural lives with other Christians . I daresay it may have cured my socialization issues. What I like most now is doing nothing. Just laying there praying and not picking the scabs on my hands. When my hands r in prayer mode I can't pick them.

It sucks i hurt my foot on my bfs hoverboard, whatever the fudge that is. It literally cracked my foot sideways and I've been limping for days. So I been skipping the gym.

Right now my mission is to find an earbud that I just got an Amazon account for him to purchase. I have little patience and empathy for him to lose something so expensive and valuable one day after receiving it. But thats what he does. He's so stingy with money but has so much of it. And he insists that I find it while he's at work. There's so much clutter here I cannot romanticize it . He says normally he would pay "bitches" to clean it for him. Oh yeah heavy ass objects like huge toolboxes and elliptical machine?

Pisses me off cus my old friend who was friends w him. Hung out w him behind my back. They went dumpster diving. She's obsessed with it and theres so much clutter in her home because of it. Get more gotta get more! Well I guess that's how my stomach is isn't it?

Anyway recently she wanted to talk to me and bc I was in midst of break up with boyfriend I answered abruptly "about what?" And she was like NVM. Everyone is such a big baby. Did you know my bf told me she put her cat in the mailbox on a hot day and it died from the heat? I'm pissed.

as soon as I deactivated my Facebook account last night she sends my boyfriend a friend request.

My boyfriend tells me that I think im better than everyone and entitled. So you know what I think I better be a solider for myself and Christ. And be a single old hag for the rest of my life. Remembering and fuming with jealousy but also positivity and happiness at having loved and lost and that everyone can be happy without me.

My mom says that they are crude low people and she doesn't understand my attraction to someone who uses drugs. He loved me with a love that was so tender (at times) and light and gentle and deep and passionate. No one will ever replace him.

But to him I'll just be the retarded, entitled, useless, pointless evil "cunt" who is "absolutely perfect" when I am skinny. He said if he had in his mind the ideal physicality of a female mate I'd be his. He'd be mine but I think it's time to let him go.

You know it's kind of zen to be pointless and useless. Just being.

Sorry for TMI y'all. I cants believe i has so many followers and mutuals. Love!

[magnetarmadda]

ok you gotta hit me with that Swan Princess au because if I can't get around to writing my ballet au then somebody needs to be out here writing the gay Swan Lake content

Okay SO!! It's blending some Swan Lake and Swan Princess story details, but it's primarily based on the 90s cartoon Swan Princess. Which means I canNOT make up my mind about who's playing the Derek part and who's got Odette's

Jon as Derek is so so so good because he regularly fucks up when he speaks lol, but on the other hand, he is very fatalistic and would more likely to be like "😔 i'm a swan now" imo

Martin as Derek is great bc he gets to fight with swords and bows and arrows and I'm so down for that, I also would enjoy pairing him with Melanie as a more capable Bromley and their banter would be 👌, but I also want Martin to have talking animal friends

So atm, Jon is Derek, Tim is Bromley, and Sasha is Rogers--she gets to be so sarcastic, I'm looking forward to this (she's Rogers no matter who's Derek), and then we've got Martin as Odette (turning into a swan now involves like Fog and Loneliness and shit), and Basira, Georgie, and Melanie are the talking animal friends (I haven't really decided who's who yet, but I think Georgie would fit Puffin's "No fear!" mentality lol)

And basically, here's a rundown so far:

martin and jon grow up together as princes from neighboring kingdoms where their parents/guardians (idk i haven't decided yet how to play this) are hoping they'll fall in love, get married, and unite their kingdoms (why are the parents letting love make the decision and not political savvy and treaties? idk, love is magic lol). when they're finally like old enough to get married, jon's like "yes great let's get married" and martin goes "sounds good, but do you actually like me?" and jon's like "…in general or…?" martin's like "that answer sucks, we're not getting married" so he and his guardian leave, and then they're ATTACKED BY AN EVIL SORCERER WHO WANTS TO STEAL MARTINS KINGDOM martin was kidnapped by an evil sorcerer and is turned into a swan every morning and only becomes human again if he's on the lake when the moon's light is on the water. jon has no idea where martin is and spends lots and lots and lots of time doing research to try to find him, and when he does find martin, he fucks up the rescue plan because he's tricked by the sorcerer and martin dies so jon battles the sorcerer to the death, which idk magic somehow restores martin to life. but jon doesn't know martin's alive again, so he's crying and holding martin's body and finally using his proper words to tell martin how sorry he is and how much he loves him

Someday I'll make up my mind and will actually be able to start writing it lol

[primordyalsoul]

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

the moment i started watching/reading eva rei was the character that intrigued me the most. she had such a magnetic, melancholy presence that always touched me, and the initial journey of discovering her origins made me SO sad i had to explore it.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

hmm not much I don't think? the only thing I can think of is something I don't even write and that's the CSA implications in rei's story. It's not something I think would come up much in threads anyway, but I avoid it because bc I wouldn't feel comfortable dealing with it.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

oh man, basically everything i do here ! particularly the different relationships Rei gets to develop...i get legit emotional thinking about her slowly realising she matters as a Person and not as an object or an end to a means. I also love writing the dichotomy between her wisdom and her inexperience, because she's very wise and perceptive but at the same time is a child who's very limited in life.

i also LOVE writing hcs and metas!! there's so much to explore i never get sick of it. I haven't posted any of them yet bc i still have to make my thoughts coherent, but i especially love writing about rei's ""childhood"", as in her time as Rei 1. I also wanna write about the difference between Rei 2 and Rei 3 and explore how I can portray that in how I write them.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

they're not headcanons, rei's my character everything i say about her is law.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

i gotta have something, usually music, something from rei's playlist.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

hmm both, really. when I read a reply from a mutual I find it very easy to pick out lines that stand out to me, which I then try to either incorporate in my response or build on how Rei reacts to it (which is always fun bc she's a very introspective character)

When writing I blurt out whatever comes to mind then spend a while re-wording + rearranging...a lot of the times i get stuck on a particular thing bc i want it to sound a certain way.

But when I can't start working on a reply right away I'll bullet point my ideas or any lines I wanna use then draft it so I don't forget.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

I do ! I think at heart I'm very lovey dovey so I do enjoy shipping a lot. Writing and drawing a ship I have with someone makes me very happy, and it's always so fun developing the relationship and seeing how it blossoms. Despite this, I don't have many romantic ships across any of my blogs, but I don't really mind or care because I have so many lovely platonic + familial dynamics that I find just as if not more investing.

For Rei, in general she's not the most shippable. She struggles enough with making friends as is, and has so many emotional and mental struggles that make it difficult for her to connect with others. BUT she's also a sweetheart and always gives her everything into her relationships, so it's fun and very cute when she gets crushes <3

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

Sumin or Su <3

ᴀɢᴇ?

twenty-one

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

january 17th

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

yellow, orange, red and pink and blue and-

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

always changing ! But as of late I've had these on repeat ; e.dge of seventeen by s.tevie nicks, n.othing matters by the l.ast dinner party, blast doors by e.verything e.verything, e.njoy the silence by d.epeche mode and ALL of the so much for s.tardust album by F.all Out Boy,

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

D.une p2

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

exactly one ep of Dun.geon M.eshi. I stopped bc I KNOW I'll get sucked into but I cannot be distracted rn!! I got a degree to finish!!

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

Everyone Adores You (At Least I Do) by M.att M.altese

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

ogugh so many....chicken curry, pine tart, turon, mochi, etc etc etc

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

I love autumn! But I'm also very fond of early spring

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

many :) i'm very thankful for the people i've met here

i yoinked this from @cloistress bc it looked fun! I'll tag: @gravltas , @dnangelic , @foolshoujo , @dimitresca , @enshijou , @kudakenai , @allevils @nagarese , @043094 aaand anyone who wants to! steal from me <3

[m00ngbin]

DO MP100 PLS 😽😽😽😽😽

AGHWHISKFHSKZOJFMSKXN hi finn!! waves at you. I totally did NOT tell you I was doing this. CLEARLY. Ok I gotta look at the thing real quick bc I forgot the prompts

My favorite female character: this is going to be so obvious but it's Tome. I watched the 2nd episode and IMMEDIATELY latched onto her, and (already super attached to her) then we got to the telepathy arc and I LOST MY MIND. Everything about her really REALLY speaks to me, from being insanely passionate about something her friends don't and do not try to understand (for a while), the repression of what she actually likes and the alienation from her peers and the literal aliens, to just her personality, it all fucking kills me. Like being stomped on

My favorite male character: It's Shou. Everyone knows it's Shou I think. OR YOU SHOULD. For the same but obviously different reasons as Tome. Ykwim. This kid. It's like being beat by hammers, it really is. Shou means the entire WORLD to me. Everything about his arc with his father was like the biggest gut punch, and he's just the sweetest kid dude. He's so sweet and I love him and he makes me so sad and I like thinking about how those first few months to a year of him being back to living with his mom would be like and how him starting to slowly patch up his relationship with his father would go. He is tied with serizawa but serizawa is for a very specific reason that Is personal. So

My fav season (+ episode because I want to tell you): I hope you know that this is hard and I genuinely did have to debate with myself on which one. So the Season is season 2, ONLY because I really like the world domination arc bc there's so much shou stuff there. My favorite Episode is either one of the last few or the telepathy arc one. Just because they mean the world to me. THEY ALL MEAN THE WORLD TO ME but especially those

My fav cast member: I have not watched the stage play yet. Sigh. But I do hold a deep appreciation for Tome's va just because I really like how dramatic she makes her sound

My fav ship: It's terumob. I think they're really interesting. BUUUUUUT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY OTHER FAVORITE SHIP THAT AS FAR AS I KNOW I MADE UP AND I ADORE TO DEATH: tomemi. I LOVE THEM THEY MAKE ME ACTUALLY INSANE, I HAVE A WHOLE ANIMATIC PLANNED OUT FOR THEM THATLL NEVER COME TO BE BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO MATCH THE MUSIC UP WITH IT, BUT ITS SO GOOD AND ITS TO DANCE WITH ME BY THE TOPLINE ADDICTS. AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

Character I'd die defending: Most of them. It would be easier to tell you who I would NOT die defending

Character I just can't sympathize with: LET ME PREFACE THIS WITH SAYING THAT I DONT AND CANNOT HATE HIM. Toichiro. He put himself exactly where he ended up, and it is where he wanted to be after everything is said and done. I just can't feel bad for him. I don't like him (and I DO NOT like him) but I can't hate him because of how he's trying to patch his relationship up with Shou towards the end. That was really incredibly important to me. Also jodo

A character I grew to love: I did not like dimple or reigen for the first few episodes they were there but they grew on me. And that's the point, they were SUPPOSED to suck in the beginning

My anti otp: I'm not really against any ships except for the obvious, but I do get really wary of people who ship toichiro and serizawa. I'm not 100% against it and I think it could be compelling in the absolute worst way possible, but I do NOT think people can pull it off. I think they'd make it weirder in a TOTALLY different way and I think it's like. There's kind of a delicate line between stuff. That shit is ONESIDED and god. God people would get weird and wrong (wrong as in they're wrong about the way they see it) about it

[unreadpoppy]

Internet 101, Fandoms and curating your online experience

I saw some stuff happening both on tumblr and on twitter (and sometimes even on instagram) regarding some fandom stuff and I wanted to make a post about, but in more of a "How to keep your peace of mind and create a healthy space" sort of post. These are just some things that I do that allow me to have a better experience on the internet as a whole, but especially on fandom spaces, and idk, I wanted to share bc navigating this sort of thing can be hard and it doesn't hurt to try and help.

One thing that I've learned very early on by people who had been on the internet for longer than me is that you do not feed the trolls. Listen. People will post shit to stir the pot, and you giving them attention is falling into their bait.

And I get it, I'm human too, I see someone talking shit and I feel the urge to give them a lenghty reply but at some point you gotta stop and think: is this worth it? like, i'm getting mad over a rando on the internet who'll probably just laugh at me. Even if we really feel like answering, it's probably always better to let it go.

And while I'm on the topic, I also want to say the following: no matter how many good arguments you have, no matter how eloquent you are, you cannot change people's minds. I've tried it and all it did was make me stressed. And especially with regards to bigots, they will not change their minds, so don't give them your time and your peace of mind because they do not care about you or your feelings. I'm a queer disabled latina woman, I get it, it sucks and it will always suck, but people will not change what they think because of lenghy ass paragraph someone on the internet sent them, so it's better to just...move on.

And by move on, I do mean do not interact in any way, shape or form. Just...scroll past it. Because it's not worth it, it truly is not, and more likely then not, even by just giving the post or person a small bit of attention, you could cause a whole situation. Do not give people clout, because then they'll get the satisfaction of both having attention AND causing such a reaction from another person.

Like, speaking from experience here, I have received a few hateful/mean spirited anons on my inbox over the years and you wanna know something? You will not find those asks on my blog because I have a 0 tolerance for hate anons. Replying to them only generates more hate anons (trust me, I've seen that happen to other people). When you show someone that you're not affected by the shit they're saying, they'll move on because you are no longer a target. This is why is so important to know when to not interact and just continue moving on.

Still on this topic but more related to fandom. People will have different opinions then you. People will have different HCs then you. People will misinterpret your favorite character. Hell, I've seen takes on my faves that honestly insult my intellect and you know what I did?

Let it go. Just scrolled past, made a mental note not to interact with that person, because again, people won't change their minds. And people are entitled to have their opinions, and enjoy characters in a different way then you do, and the best thing to do is not give them your time. Just don't. It's much better (and probably healthier) to spend your time interacting with people you like and who you can talk to then try to change a person's opinion and pottentialy instigate a fight.

For the sake of not making the same point again and again, I want to talk about blocking people, bc blocking people is the easiest way to curate your experience. There is no morality in blocking. You're not some evil bastard or a super hero because you blocked someone, so don't ascribe morality to that. Just block whoever (and whatever, because blocking tags exist) you don't want to see and move on.

Finally, my last advice is: somethings are best kept private and by private I mean get yourself some friend who you can just talk shit about to. Listen, sometimes the urge to be like "this bitch online is an idiot" is BIG and the best thing you can do about it, in a way that won't cause a fight or whatever, is to go to some friend and say "let me talk shit for a few minutes". Trust me, IT WORKS. So many times I've been tempted to say stuff, only to go to a friend and talk about the stuff and then boom, I was done. I was okay. So yeah, there's stuff that is better to be sent in a groupchat then to be posted about.

This post is longer than I intended but I feel like we should try to just have fun? This is the internet, the good part about it is that we can choose who we can engage with and what we want to say, and it's way more productive to spend your time with people that matter, that you care about and that make you happy then stressing over people who simply do not care and who will not change.

Anyways, peace out

[dino-boyo-agere]

Ratatouille soup :00 that sounds so good!! I've always wanted to try ratatouille but put it off bc I don't like the texture of most cooked veggies

Could we get a recipe mayhaps? 👀👀

Oh definitely!!

I don't really have measurements, but I'll try my best! I always cook a little more, and freeze the rest. I have about four days of food with these ingredients.. I also eat fairly small portions though, so keep that in mind!

Without further ado, let's get to making the ratatouille!

For the ratatouille you need:

1 aubergine

1 courgette

1 red bell pepper

1 yellow bell pepper

1 green bell pepper

1 to two red onions

1 can of peeled and diced tomatos

1 teaspoon of sugar

Salt, pepper to your liking

Herbs & spices of your choice (I use salt, pepper, rosemary, parsley and tumeric.)

Half a tube of tomato paste

And technically garlic, but I hate that stuff so I leave it out lol (about one to two cloves should be enough, the garlic should be minced)

Maybe rice, pasta or potatoes to eat it with. (I'll follow up on that later in this post)

for the ratatouille you gotta:

Clean and dice the aubergine

Put the aubergine dices in a bowl with salt and shake it up - cover up the bowl and put it aside.

Next clean and cut the courgette and onions. (& the garlic if you choose to add it). - Put all those in one bowl.

Now clean and dice the bell peppers and place those in a separate bowl.

Take the aubergine out and tap it dry with a paper towel & clean out the bowl - put it back in the bowl clean bowl for now.

Heat oil in a pan (any oil works but olive oil tastes best)

First add the courgette, onion (& garlic) in the pan and cook them until the onions are slightly see through.

When that's done add the bell peppers.

After those are integrated through stirring, add the aubergine.

Let the veggies cook for 5 minutes - keep stirring.

After 5 minutes add the tomatoes, tomato paste, the sugar and whatever seasoning and herbs you want. (I add salt, pepper, rosemary, parsley and tumeric.)

Cook the ratatouille for about 20 minutes on middle heat - don't forget to stirr it every once in a while.

Ratatouille pairs great with:

Rice, pasta or potatoes (I prefer rice).

Simply cook one of these in the 20 minutes the ratatouille needs to fully cook. - Keep it in separate containers, otherwise the add INS suck up all the moisture.

Also, Pasta & Rice Arend good to freeze & it doesn't work with the soup!

If you don't like the texture of cooked veggies, blending them into a soup could be the perfect solution. A friend of mine also has a sensory problem with those textures and she loves this soup. I have the same issue with mushrooms, so I also only eat them in cream soup form.

Sensory issues are way more common than most people think, it's nothing to be ashamed of! <3

So, without further ado, let's get to making the soup!

For the soup you need:

The Ratatouille (without rice, pasta or potatoes)

1 bunch of Parsley

1 Parsley root

1,5 Leeks

1 cup of Cooking cream (250 ml)

I also like to add 2 - 3 carrots, it's not a must though. - That just makes it taste a little different than ratatouille, and I prefer to not have the same tasting food two days in a row! (If you just want to make ratatouille soup right from the start, there's no need to add them at all)

What you gotta do:

Clean and cut/ dice the parsley, parsley root, leeks (& carrots)

While you do that, bring about two and a half cups ow tater to the boiling point.

Add vegetable broth, pepper and the veggies.

Cook until the carrots and parsley root are soft enough to easily poke them with a fork/ toothpick.

Take it off heat and add the ratatouille. [If you youse previously frozen ratatouille leftovers, keep it on heat until it fully unfreezes and heats up too.]

Leave it to cool off a bit before pouring it into a blender to blend it up. - otherwise the blender might leak/ the lid may pop off. [If you use a stick blender, you don't need to let it cool first & can just blend it in the pod you're cooking in.]

After it's pureed to your liking, pour it back into the pot and add the cooking cream (or vegan substitute) and cook under constant stirring, until it begins so simmer.

And now to the toping & side:

I highly recommend to top it with shredded chicken / shredded chicken substitute. - just fry it in a frying pan until it's golden brown. - Make sure to use the same oil you did for the onions & courgette in the ratatouille!

And flatbread with sesame seeds & poppy seeds is amazing to dip it in the soup. - simply heat it in the oven until it's nice and crunchy outside and fluffy inside (ca. 10 - 15 min at 150°C - that's 302°F)

And that's that!

I hope the receipt is easy to follow, if you have any questions just ask in the comments or DMs!

I'd love to see your results if you choose to cook it too! <3

Have fun and good luck cooking!!

[lightspren]

also I’m realizing I use this in lieu of actual therapy so most of the time i’m bitching about horrible things so TIME FOR GOOD THINGS

I went out to lunch with a friend - who wasn’t my spouse lmao - for the first time in ages. It was great. will do again sometime.

on that note i made a FRIEND outside the internet. mind boggling. didn’t think i had the skills to do that anymore, thought they’d atrophied to nothing. (imagine lots more enthusiasm here I am trying to keep it toned down a little bit bc friend is Here. but also just imagine all the above that i said coming out of a megaphone in rainbow text and sparkle trails and you’ll have roughly the level of happy im at) (if you see this uh, hello friend! i’m very chill and normal!)

had a nice dinner with my in laws (which they also paid for so +1 to whole experience) and it went well. good for my spouse to get to see them too, since his mom is getting surgery soon on her hand which will limit travel, then I will be getting my surgery which will limit travel, and it’ll be like Sept before we could plan to get together again

my cats seem to be acting healthier and more normal the last couple of days. So even if the fleas are still Around I think they’re dwindling upstairs. 100% still planning on going thru with nuclear warfare aka exterminator, my sanity needs that. But the cats are happier already and when they’re consistently being normal it makes me less scared of them and more willing to interact since they’re probably not a mobile flea palace presently

found out i’ve net deductible and almost met out of pocket with my insurance, so the hysterectomy should only be like $600. which is still way more money than I have but it’s a manageable bill at least.

getting people trained for helping cover me when i’m out is going well. Both the ppl I’m training on halves of my jobs pick it up great. Which really says a lot about them because i SUCK at teaching LOL. Gonna spend the next few weeks reviewing the stuff i’ve already taught them, but i’m Less worried about the clinic going up in smoke while i’m out for a few weeks

my tomato plants are getting huge and i’m so excited. I think i’m gonna have a fuckton of tomatoes, which is what I wanted.

My asthma has been in a phase of largely controlled, which I’m grateful for bc being short of breath when just like. sitting. suuuuuuucks. so bad.

i am still thoroughly enjoying totk, it’s so much fun and makes me very happy.

i think, once we get this flea thing sorted out, I’ll be in a fairly good place. i was already doing some better the past couple days with the cats acting more normal, and with both of us having cleaned the house and not run into mutant swarms of evil flesh eating spider-bug-ants intent on my demise. just gotta get through next week, and hope his treatment can purge them soundly from the basement.

anyway. there’s the rambly positive updates. life goes on etcetc. hugs and kisses bye

[obeseclown]

I think there's something genuinely wrong deep inside of me bc I am such an irredeemably selfish & lazy piece of shit. I'm literally too lazy to want to be alive.

I dropped out of university because it was too much of a hassle for no immediate reward, so now I will never get a job that's better than minimum wage. But I also quit work because it was too physically demanding and I hate leaving the house every day.

I can't bring myself to suffer through ANY slight inconvenience, I just quit anything that isn't fun pretty much immediately because suffering through something is fucking pointless to me.

I want money but I don't want to do anything for it. and I'm too fucking lazy to kill myself.

I can't even really call myself a feminist because I don't do anything but complain and I don't see why I should have to. In my mind everyone should've decided ages ago to make a world that is not terrible so that I could now live comfortably. But they didn't and I have this deep resentment that I was brought into this fucked up shitty world.

"We have to fight for the women and girls who come after us" gotta be honest I don't really give a shit because I'll be dead by then. Whatever Feminists ages ago fought for can be taken away with the snap of a finger again anyway, we're seeing that now. So why should I make all this effort when it's not even guaranteed anything will come of it, especially not for me personally? It's more likely global warming will make humanity die out before anything gets better for women.

Idk I literally try to give myself /something/ to work towards like adopting a cat but at the same time I know it's unfair to put all my will to live on a silly little creature.

Plus I know I will have to make money to give her a good life which means I will have to work, probably way more than I want to. So I'm at this standstill where I should be job hunting but job hunting is such a soul sucking experience that I can't bring myself to do it. I'm sure there is some work that I won't hate enough to go through the hassle of quitting once I have it but I gotta get there first and I just don't have the motivation to send out 70+ applications only to be ghosted by every single one. Also IF they invite me for an interview I can't be bothered to lie about stuff, which basically makes me unhirable, my last job only hired me because their turnover rate is so bad because the job is shit and they were desperate.

Idk I just want to "work" at home doing some menial shit like data entry but without any meetings or calls I just want to be left alone and I want to earn 100 euro an hour and I want to work 3 hours a day so I have enough time to rot on my couch and crochet things for my friends and I have enough money to not really need to care about saving I can buy myself a snack whenever I want and sometimes I even order food. I don't want to care about anything but me and my friends I want us to be rich and healthy I want to be able to ignore politics without suffering. I want men to die out so I don't have to be scared of them. And I want to buy my cat whatever she wants and I want to be able to always affort a vet. Maybe if this happens I will want to be alive again, but it's likelier that I will get fried by lightning than for this to become reality.

so just. exist. I leech off my parents who I resent for birthing me. I don't work I don't really do anything because I don't have money to do my hobbies. And I'm too anhedonic to make art so my existence really is absolutely meaningless.

[privacyredux]

i thought i was just going to have a cute update. maybe a little bit of some frustration with managing myself and trying to be supportive and helpful to val in the way she'd like me to do it, which is still important. honestly, it's the only part that really matters but. damn. i just really can't take someone trying to twist the truth especially when it gets in my head and convinces me that shit happened differently than how it was in reality.

i dunno it's just kind of crazy how shitty i felt for a minute there. i was running through my head like, fuck did i get jealous and weird and forget about it somehow? i had a distinct memory of messaging eric about staying with him when bonnie was visiting so she and val could have time to talk about what she was dealing with. and i was like well, maybe i forgot or maybe i just said fuck it idc? i dunno. it really took a minute and yeah, i wasn't just there with zero warning. she specifically told bonnie ahead of time that i was looking for a place to be instead so they could have time alone together and she said that wasn't necessary. and even though i guess i must've slept there both nights, i wasn't there during the day on saturday i only saw her at work? so like fuck. i get people remember shit differently after the fact especially if their feelings were hurt, but it really fucked with my mind. like, im glad there were receipts to look at to confirm reality bc i dunno. could've had my ass apologizing for shit i made effort to be mindful of. fuck.

and then this shit about it being platonic and only asking for more affection. also got that in my head like oh did i get nervous and was i misguided and protective and jealous and just made it into something it wasn't? like, it really had me there for a minute. but rereading that shit confirmed it. and not just for me. for troye. for wooyoung. for val. clearly stated what it was.

so i dunno. i don't get this shit about everything being misinterpreted. is it just her misremembering shit and maybe being upset that she and val aren't cool. even though like, you're the one the blocked her so whatever. but i dunno if it's that. i don't know if it's some like purposeful action to push blame on to val or that im the one influencing her in some way that fucked up their friendship. again, troye confirmed that's not even close to true. i just don't even get where this shit comes from. i wanna be fair and not be a dick. it's gotta hurt to lose someone like val who is so sweet and warm and comforting as a friend. maybe it's lashing out realizing that somehow all of that is gone, but i dunno where this revisionist history comes from. and that's really what fucking sucks. it's so easy to second guess your past actions and i was so close to blaming myself for something that really had nothing to do with me.

whatever.

before all that happened... val and i were talking about school and money and i dunno. i think that conversation kind of in a small way influenced the way i reacted to the drama a little bit. i get worried im being controlling by wanting to help her out with things. it feels so inevitable that we're going to be living together in the somewhat near future and we're going to be sharing bills and stuff, so why not just combine things now. i don't care if it's quick. i don't care what she buys. i just want her to get the rest she needs for school and for her health and not worry about money and what hours she's working each week.

i know she's not fragile and she's honestly incredibly strong and intelligent and independent. it's just that weird thing where someone doesn't ask anything from you and you just want to help them out with everything. i want her to be able to go out with her friends after class and study with them and all that shit without having to worry about getting to work and figuring out her homework around that extra schedule. and i know. especially as an adult student, it's normal to be working and going to college at the same time, but i just can't help but want to make things easier.

i can understand why it's uncomfortable for her too. it's fast. it's one thing to believe that someone isn't going to judge you on your spending but it's another for it to actually happen and also, to feel like you're contributing less. i get it. and i really don't know how id feel being on the other side of it. that's the truth. the only people ive ever taken money from is my parents and maybe i was spoiled. i don't know.

i know i felt things for her fast. faster than normal. it's hard to manage your pace when you feel like you already know the ending. it's not like i wanna blow through it all to get to the end, i really don't. i want to enjoy every last moment of every single part. i just wanna help make her life easier, but i can only do what she lets me do. and right now, if that's just laundry and dishes and other chores and errands for her when she's busy, i'll take what i can get. bc she fought back against those things too but honestly, until i have tour or we're back in oakland, im a stay at home boyfriend, so i gotta do something besides spend money.

things are good though. we talked some more about moving to san luis obispo at some point in the near-ish future. i really did want to get back to that moving in conversation at some point, so at least there was an opening to work towards figuring that out again. i think in general i just need to focus on my goal being taking shit off her plate instead of putting new stuff on. and just bc something seems like it's a solution to me doesn't mean it's a solution for her.

it's so easy to want to rush through when everything in front of me looks so good. we're building up to something amazing though and i just need to be patient. i'll stay on her path and end up exactly where i'm meant to be.

[ribbitdeltarune]

the post like i said. its been 2 days later (maybe a bit more. im a bit late at this point..) But! 14 of november! My birthday !!! :p didnt do anything for myself but i did spend some (more like a ton) time with friends

so ahead will just be rambling . read if u want

Alriiight so. i am. Dead. i dont post very often . Thats bcuz i dont actually have a active online presence when it comes 2 posting lol this is sorta my first time . however i did post a few times on twitter before and got a decent following but that was basically never anyway . Thank you all for (checks notes) 19 followers! That. is a first actually

however i also kinda have 2 apologize since i dont post a lot which makes this account.. uh, semi-inactive? shrug. as i did mention before in a prev post i am holding back a lotta stuff that i havent posted yet . oops! i personally dont like posting irl photos because 1) i am actually dogwater at taking photos, 3) my camera quality sucks and 2) i dont actually draw on A4 paper very often or like notebook paper at all lol. (its this small one thats more like a notebook to write stuff down stuff you gotta remember, an agenda or whatever. not like i care i use it to draw anyway. it aint got lines its just full white paper (sometimes colored depending on the one i buy) so its for drawing in my view.) but the bad thing is most drawings i made of ribbit so far are... On Paper.

Now. I can just upload them as is but i dont like doing that . i can also just make them digital drawings but if you think im capable of doing that without immediately doing something else you may be wrong

Speaking of thats mostly why this acc is also semi-inactive . whenever i DO draw digitally im probably also doing another thing at the same time so i get distracted and then get stuck on doing something else completely and forget i have to draw!!! Oopsies. im also bad at executing things (''man im gonna draw ribbit right now'' (doesnt do it) (its also a 50/50 if i actually do it or not)) so thats part of it. do i Think posting and/or drawing ribbit stuff is a chore? Not really. i actually like drawing stuff 4 this fandom and im attached 2 the characters + the mod anyway so its not like im gonna stop This soon . not even a year in yet!

I also have a lot of ideas so i hop between 'em a lot (i have so many animations/animatics in mind but guess who cant animate and also drawing frames take longer than just drawing sighs)... thats why most posts on here is just doodles so far .

to be fair though i have been in a . Uh. I guess fine. Maybe a bit bad headspace as of a few weeks now so i havent really gotten the urge/want to post rn and who knows how long that'll take to go away anyway. thinking of trying 2 get sum stuff finished and then queueing a few posts just so i can get some brainworms out of ma head . and Who Knows if i'll really do that. Future Is Mystery!

Oh and to add i still need to finish or get to like maybe the 5th chapter for a fic im working on rn so theres that too. im still on chapter 4 (progress is fine. i think ill rewrite the dream segment?) and then i will Hopefully get 2 work on chapter 5. god bless being unable to execute things AND to spice it up focus on things (sarcasm)

i am however kinda busy these days. Schoolnstuff. I get in drawing moods a lot (literally everyday bro i dont get burnt out easily or get demotivated that much bc i just finish it eventually anyway) but i need to pass math to pass the year itself so maybe no art posts until thats done. i might post every now and then though. Speaking of posting! Did you know VeeReMia is actually a pun on viremia which is, ''a medical term for viruses present in the bloodstream''. vee came first as part of the instrumental theme, and then maxine added the other syllables. Fun isnt it (i cant stop thinking about it now)

Thanks for reading . I think thats all. Maybe. Shrug.

Also current pfp is placeholder i also need 2 make one BANGS FISTS ON TABLE REPEATEDLY

[screampied]

i had an idea of a talk show between you and me, called “two horny bitches telling each other exactly” and i imagined you with fairy lights all over your body (vegas) and me with, hm, extremely amount of while liquid hiding my face. moving along.

hiii vegas. today i had a busy day, went to work, washed the kitchen because my dog killed a pigeon (he had a funeral, by the way) and i posted something on my profile. it’s been days since i did this, and i’m scared, but my friends here were hyping me up, cute. i really like them.

ok, so officially i am a squirtling!!!! for once in my life.

RIGHT? he always looked weird to me, i couldn’t see pass the gambling and parental issues, but when he came through megumi’s domain in shibuya i was hooked, i was bamboozled, there was nothing in this world that could stop me from the head i was trying to give that man. by the way, after our little chats about him, i got pretty inspired and added him on my work that i posted today. so it will be my little secret that for him to be there it was inspired by you.

no, vegas, the worm isn’t cute!! i could only relate and tolerate that when it called geto mommy. i hate worms and stuff, but i love snakes. small snakes, because if they are too big i’ll fucking die on the spot. i once held a corn snake, and it’s my dream to have once since then, her name would probably be seraphina. no names for males.

well, you can always experiment it. life kinda sucks when you wait for the right moment, you know? i would be your biggest supporter if you randomly decided to wear glittery suits and sing abba all day because that’s funny. you know i have so many regrets with that, waiting, i mean. i lost many chances, so don’t do that. dress how you want!!

do it again!! vegas saying “welcome to vegas” special tickets for your suite to dearest toji and his worm goes to the garbage, please. maybe toji wouldn’t get well in vegas…actually, thinking about it.

time does get by quick, but it’s really cute. one year and many more, please. and yes, i’ll try to put your print on the cake, i think i’ll be funny and cute.

ALSO, WHY VASELINE?

i would probably not bring anything because i am petrified of zombies, so i would just, you know, stop existing. specially tlof zombies, ain’t no way my messy ass is surviving the clickers. zombieland? maybe, because they can be slow, but on the second movie they’ve had a “glow up” (forgot the world) and i would, again, stop existing.

question for today is how many languages do you speak or would like to speak?

nut anon.

HEYYOU 🫵

bye this is so cute stop sign me up. hehe me with fairy lights kekw.

hiiiii lovieee. omg you have a dog? what breed? A PIGEON ????? i remember my dog caught a mouse it his mouth and tried to give it to me like it was a toy pls i screamed. i love dogs 🙂‍↕️. AWWW GOOD FOR U N UR FRIENDS. as you should !!!!!

real omg. tbh the broke jokes are getting old. they’ve been old, but it is kinda funny sometimes. i only call him broke sometimes bc im his wife (ahaha) but in my mind toji’s always rich with pockets swollen 🤗. RESAAALLY I INSPIRED YOU ???? ough ur edging me i wish i could read it but unfortunately i have to wait until oct. 1st to know who you are ….. which is in like ….. twenty days

stop wormyguro is adorable :((((. i wanna squish it so bad. i saw a plushie for the worm on amazon and im so tempted to by it bye. IT LOOKS SO SOFT. pls when it called geto mommy i cried 😭 geto’s face always kills me. SNAKESSSS I LOVE SNAKES. i used to have one named pork chop, he was a kingsnake ough i miss him. seraphina’s such a pretty name !!!!!!

LMAOOODONT TEMPT ME OMG. not the worm going to the garbage that’s so mean :((((. bye imagine toji in vegas that’s actually hilarious.

vaseline bc i don’t want chapped lips while im trying to survive ✋🏽 also vaseline can help with ermmmm wounds yes. gotta stay cute even while on the brink of death ya know

i speak four languages !!! 💓🙂‍↕️ lingala, french, papiamento and kiswahili—english too now, so i guess that would be fiveeee.

[otgwbgyu]

ig i should start doing full entries again esp bc school’s starting and ill probably being feeling way worse

in chicago like THE big city today. and for the next couple of days. trying to enjoy vacation but summer reading haunts me everywhere i go. it’s so unfair that we have to do school work during the summer. like i’m not gonna become illiterate over the summer…. chill…. but it’s just something i can’t shake and will always worry abt. like during the game i started listening to the audiobook bc i got so anxious over it 💀 ik it’s kinda on me for not reading earlier but like…. the books r mid NOBODY actually wants to read a how-to on reading 😕😕 i do get random bursts of motivation tho when i fantasize abt being a productive, straight-a honors student with a national merit scholarship like my dad, and i also kinda get competitive with my friends. bad for r relationship but good for my grades and sanity for sure

i kinda snapped yesterday too lmao. like i joined call w sarah and she was being so uninterested and unresponsive while begging others to join call and the minute ava joins she’s all happy and conversing. like damn ok?? u can be closer w others but presenting it like that hurts lmfaoo. after 5 min I left bc i just wasn’t having it tbh. it rlly stung and pissed me off

o yeah i finally finished catcher in the rye OMGG… i honestly dunno how to feel about that book. like i get holden but at the same time i dont?? i can be angsty like him but he’s like my angst on steroids. that guy cant find any enjoyment anywhere he goes and it pisses me off. i may seem grouchy and miserable on here but im more friendly irl. remember this is primarily a VENT acc where all my dark thoughts go, the main ones aka the happy ones stay in my head or get shared with others. and hes so pessimistic, not like MY type of pessimistic where i think everything’s gonna fail or go wrong, pessimistic as in everything sucks and theres nothing to enjoy in life. like omg aren’t u just a bundle of sunshine!

i feel bad bc he is just a kid and has trauma, but that doesn’t give him the right to make others miserable. like humanity sucks yeah but u gotta learn to deal w it man. ur not gonna like everyone and not everyone’s gonna like u, it’s just something u gotta live through bc at the end of the day there’s a good bunch of ppl who do care abt u, and that love, even divided, should matter more to u than the hate others feel towards u. bc why r u concerned abt strangers’ hatred and not your own family and friends’ love? but he’s a teen whose mind is clouded by depression and angst, so i can’t be too harsh. and even i catch myself acting like him so it’d be kinda hypocritical. still think he was an asshole sometimes tho, nothing’s changing that

biden dropped out the race in the middle of a baseball game (minor league) mom and i BOLTED and did r research. the democrats r in flamesss 😓😓 republicans next 🤞🤞 glad biden is out, hated his ass, kamala surely will redeem us 🙏🙏🙏 she’s no saint ofc, she’s a politician, but compared to trump she’s jesus the messiah himself. i’d vote her if i could 🥥🥥🥥