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insertdisc5 · 1 year ago

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✨ The In Stars and Time Spoiler Q&A ✨

it's time. MASSIVE IN STARS AND TIME SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. IT'S GONNA BE SO LONG. LET'S GO

I hope you are aware of The Secret Final Boss because I'm also gonna spoil the crab out of that. If you haven't,

1. Did you know the events for interacting with your souvenirs are randomized for some of them, and also change depending on how far you are in the game.

2. Did you know there's a way to show souvenirs to a certain character.

3. Did you know you can go back to Dormont during the Epilogue.

Figure that out, and come back here! Or watch a let's play online. You can also do that.

I will also try to adopt a ~mysterious cool voice with no exclamation points~ for Effect. Come with me on this journey.

Now. Questions time!

✨ Will you ever make a sequel to ISAT, or make a game in the same universe?

Nah. This was always intended to be The Story. This is your turn to imagine things now.

✨ But so what happened to the Country? What was its name? What about the wishes? What about the colors? What did Siffrin say as an openphrase to open the door to the King's room? What about--

I will not answer those. It's your turn.

✨ BUT THE COUNTRY AND THE COLORS AND THE WISHES

Ok fine. Here are some facts that I alluded to in-game, that I am confirming now.

-The Country disappearing and the events that made colors go away are not related.

-The colors disappeared a loooong time ago, which is why knowing they even existed is a relatively new find.

-A wish made everyone forget the Country.

I will ALSO say that ISAT's map operates on Final Fantasy/General Fantasy rules (i.e. in-universe locations are based off of real ones when it comes to culture, but are not one to one parallels, especially for geography), so no, the Country isn't based on the UK oh my god please do not say that to me again or im deleting ISAT out of your computers and putting legos at the foot of your bed. It's based on another place. You can figure it out, I believe in you.

✨ But why won't you give more info on what happened :(

Can you imagine if I did answer. Wouldn't that be a bummer, whatever my answer was. Sometimes things need to stay a mystery. And also, I don't want to answer <3

✨ Does the world Loop came from still exist after they left? Or is this a get mystery'd situation?

There is only One Timeline and it's the timeline that goes from the prologue to ISAT. Every timeline that gets rewound does not exist anymore, and that includes the prologue's timeline.

✨ What's the deal with Siffrin's dream at the start?

It's Siffrin's dream, but that doesn't mean our Siffrin is the main star.

✨ Is [specific missable game moment] canon?

Every moment that you personally experience in the game is canon.

✨ Is there a reason Siffrin remembers their name but the King doesn't?

What makes you think Siffrin does?

✨ At the very very end of the game, if you look out the window behind the Head Housemaiden, Sif mentions seeing an island in the distance. Is that his country?

It is. It's always been there, for the whole game. You can see it in the distance, too.

✨ Who was the King, before?

He was just a guy!

✨ With the King left remembering in the end, does that in any way change the redaction effect for other people in the world going forward?

That's a fun idea. Maybe!

✨ One thing that never really clicked for me is: Is the sweet smell Time Craft or Wish Craft? Or is the sweet smell TIme Craft and specifically the burnt sugar smell is Wish Craft? Other way around? Does this question even matter since without Wish Craft you can't attain Time Craft in the first place? (To me, yes.)

Wish Craft smells sweet. Time Craft doesn't have a smell per se, but it does do something.

✨ Does Mirabelle retain her immunity to being frozen in time after the events of the game or does it go away after the Head Housemaiden is saved? Or does it persist for a while and eventually fade away?

I imagine the immunity slowly faded away. But no one's left to do Time Craft, so it's a moot point anyway.

✨ How was Odile able to stop Siffrin from looping back during the fight against Siffrin?

In the Discord channel I stated that it's because "she's just that cool", but really, she does have access to some skills that heighten the efficacity of Rock/Paper/Scissors attacks, so it's not too much of a stretch to imagine she could lower the efficacity of Time Craft as well. In this last loop, while listening to Loop and observing, she could figure out Siffrin was looping way earlier than she could in even the Sus Quest, so she made plans. She is Very Smart <3

✨ Will you ever share everyone's full names?

That's artbook content <3

✨ In the ending, what happened to Siffrin's hat?

Flew away. It's gone now.

✨ Looking back at the original comics, and seeing how comic!sif has both eyes at the start of their loops, but in ending sequences is shown with his eye patch...did you ever consider making that concept of sif losing their eye a part of the main loop in either of your games? and if so, was there any reason why you decided against it?

Early on, I did think about making that whole event an event that happens during the loops, but quickly let that go since 1. it would be a pain to write and code (two different sets of Siffrin portraits!) and 2. if it happened, the player might want to look for a way to NOT make that happen and so 3. it would be a pain to write and code

✨ How was Siffrin's homelife before?

Pretty good!

✨ How old were Nille and Bonnie when they ran away? How old was Sif when their home got zapped?

Both were teens.

✨ How old IS everyone?

Siffrin is mid-late 20s. Mirabelle and Isabeau are early-mid 20s, with Isabeau being slightly older. Bonnie is a preteen. Odile is Too Old For This. Petronille, Bonnie's sister, is late teens-early 20s. You can ignore whatever I said in the prologue's artbook, whoever wrote this was Wrong!!!!!!!!!!

✨ Regarding the book that talks about someone who crafted a copy of themself using wish craft: is that meant to imply someone we know is the author (and/or the copy), or is it not directly related to any of em? or is it a "who knows ;)" situation where we can just speculate and theorize either way?

Please check the book again during Act 5! This applies to most items/map events by the way, like the pendant. You can check those during Act 5 and 6 for some fun new dialogue!

✨ Why are Siffrin's clothes so warm looking?

The Country got cold at night.

✨ What's up with Siffrin's pins?

They're made out of a special material. And also, they make Siffrin look cool <3

✨ I want to know the story behind Loop’s different eye shades!

They're blind in one eye. Also, fun foreshadowing <3

✨ What determines whether someone is paper/rock/scissors craft? Is it assigned naturally at birth or something else (and how do you find out)? Does it make you more inclined to use that specific craft or is anyone generally free to use whatever craft they want?

Astrology rules, It Just Is A Thing. Being Rock Type means it is way easier for you to do Rock Craft, but that doesn't mean you can't learn other types of craft, although it's way harder. Doing Craft of your type is instinct, doing Craft of another type would take some time and resarch.

✨What crimes has Odile committed before. I need to know.

Odile just smiles.

✨ Why did the King specifically target the House of Dormont?

I had a reason in mind, but adding it to the game would've added a layer of Explanation that really didn't need to be there. It's just a nice House.

✨ Who was Odile's hatecrush...

Dunno. It's your turn.

✨ What is loop's body situation. like is the surface of their "skin" solid? they did poke siffrin that one time, and we know they aren't cold, but...

I have some idea. But it's your turn!

✨ Would Sif still have looped if they hadn't made the wish he made in the beginning? As in, would Vaugarde's combined wish have made him loop until managing to beat the King?

No. But without time powers, you can imagine what would've happened next.

✨ During the Loop Hangout, how did the rest of the team make it all the way to The King? What about during Act 5?

During the Loop Hangout: with difficulty. During Act 5: Loop was there to guide them.

✨ Is Loop: 1. Actually comfortable with both he and they, but only gave the one pronoun to emphasize the distance? 2. Only using they/them because a large life event led to a shift in identity/ how they'd like to be perceived? or 3. time lops stole he from they they :(

Mostly that first one. But all three of those reasons have a bit of truth to them.

✨ Who cooked crab in the House of Change???

This is a very funny question! I've never thought about it. It's your turn.

✨ What are the Orbs that open the gate? Did the King create the Gate or was it there before?

(did not think about the orbs or the gate beyond "plot that proves there was a journey before") Stop Asking Questions,,,, It's your turn,,,,,,

✨ Bonnie's dialogue is *extremely* accurate to how overexcited kids talk, which is really rare to see. Was that something that took a lot of effort to achieve, or did it come naturally to you?

Thank you <3 I'm just that good. Really, Bonnie is an adult with no filter, and less general knowledge. I'm very glad I managed to write Bonnie well, especially since. I haven't talked to a kid. Since I was one myself

✨ The Spoilery Concept Art. Blease

oh yeah. here have it all. this is what I gave Mimi to do the animated trailer!

✨ So. What's everyone's favorite shade.

FINALLY the question. Plus I can say shade names now. White = darkless, Black = lightless. Light and Dark is like light grey/ dark grey. Oh my god I'm checking my notes and I wrote a small event I never used about hair dye colors like "midnight dark", "tomato grey", "snow light" past me that's so fucking funny

Anyway, Siffrin loves darkless, Mirabelle is more of a light shade lover, Isabeau loves that lightless (BECAUSE ITS FASHIONABLE OK), Odile likes darker shades, and Bonnie also loves that lightless (BECAUSE ITS AS DARK AS MY SOUL OK)

✨ Are there any bugs you found during developments that you've made into features?

Two! The first one was the ability to ask Loop to just silently hang out during Act 4. I messed up the code and the game softlocked there, with Siffrin and Loop sitting there silently. I thought it was very sweet. They deserve a little quiet time.

The second was in Act 5 - the House map had a lot of issues with the Act 5 map bringing you back to the normal House map. So one of the testers got brought to the normal House map and didn't notice, and interacted with the Mirror on Floor 3, and it gave them the normal interaction with everyone seeing the mirror and taking a picture, and when they went to look at the picture in their inventory, it gave them the actual Act 5 picture. A little bit after they realized the game bugged out, and told me about it, and begged me to keep that in because they were very unsettled by it. So here it is! Beforehand, it was just Siffrin silently taking a picture, so I'm glad I changed it.

✨ Did you ever have emotional difficulty writing the more sensitive parts of the script, like Siffrin’s intrusive/negative thoughts, for one reason or another? Moreover, did you worry the script may be darker than your initial vision for it anticipated?

Not really. The Mirabelle and Odile hangout scenes were the hardest scenes by far because I really wanted to get them right, but everything else was about the same amount of difficulty. And actually, I wanted to go a little bit darker for the script, but I was worried it was going to be too dark... When it comes to the dagger event, I had a whole tangent about Siffrin thinking about the best way to strike, so to speak, but I deleted it because it was getting A Little Too Detailed. T rating come back to me

✨ For the questions you WON'T answer, did you have your own answers while making the game? Or were they left blank?

Some of them I do, some of them I don't!

✨ I loved this game and I want to replay it but I don't want Siffrin to go through everything again!

Here's a little fun fact I decided: if you hit the credits, you helped a Siffrin escape. If you start a new game, you are creating a new Siffrin that you can emotionally tortu-IIIIIIII MEAN, a new Siffrin that you can help. Do not worry about your Siffrins they are fine

✨ A lot of those answers ended up being "It's your turn", huh.

Yea <3 The answers to some of those questions ARE there if you look. Some just aren't. But you can imagine whatever you want. It's your turn! I finished the game! I'm done working! It's your turn!!!

✨ I loved ISAT and it made me feel so many feelings!

Thank you so much. I'm sorry if you sent a message or ask and I didn't answer it. I read every single one and cherish it! Thank you for playing and thank you for writing me a message!!!!! When I get a little down I look at all of those and I feel better. Thank you. I'm sorry I can't answer them all.

✨ What will you work on next?

I have a project I'm currently in the preproduction stages of. I don't want to talk about it until I feel like I have some stuff to show. Plus I still have to make the ISAT artbook and some other stuff, so it won't be for a while. Nonetheless, I hope you will enjoy it!!!

#in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers

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meanbossart · 1 month ago

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So, I was thinking after the newest Bhaalist DU Drow art (and his hand dangerously close to Astarions throat): what would happen if Astarion runs away? Did he ever try?

And, what's also pretty sad, how does affection look like for them in this AU? Does Astarion just push through and dissociate? Can he ever say no? Or does he hope the love of his life (or unlife) changes at some point?

Thankies 💕

CW: Non-explicit description of a coercive sexual relationship.

You know, I'm not sure he would try to run away. I haven't thought about this AU in quite as much depth as I have their canonical story, but I do know that DU drow has turned Baldur's Gate and the area around it into quite the scary place. The "immediate and absolute control over the brain" outcome that we get in the game is a bit too easy for me, but he DOES retain the stones and therefore ownership over it, not to mention a huge bargaining chip in political control of the vicinity.

The church of Bhaal is reinstated, and while it will never be in the interest of Bhaalists to be blatant about their activities, it would become common knowledge that they have eyes everywhere. Killing is still ritualistic rather than mindless massacre, and indoctrination is prioritized - they can't expand and fulfill Bhaal's will if all potential followers are dead. People who don't yet follow the gospel have reason to cooperate with them since that lessens their chances of being killed.

So, if the darling of the cult's head were to suddenly disappear, everyone infected would be immediately zapped with the knowledge of exactly what he looks like and where he was last seen, and what the repercussions are for anyone who fails to report his whereabouts. Astarion knows this, DU drow would make sure that he does.

Also, it would probably be far too easy for Astarion to justify his own compliance and try to make peace with the situation. This IS the man he fell in love with, he DID encourage his pursuit for power at every step, he may not be the grand vampire ascendant, but he is the Murder Prince's beloved. He doesn't beat him, he doesn't torture him, he spoils Astarion with riches, comfort, and all the fresh blood he could dream of; all he asks for in return is his eternal devotion, constant affection, adoration, control over where he is, wears, does, and total surveillance.

When the alternative is braving the cold, ruthless world as a meager little vampire spawn while being hunted down by your ex's minions (hm, sounds familiar) being the equivalent to your partner's boutique pet starts to look pretty desirable. Astarion falling to old habits and resigning to his circumstance seems pretty likely to me. If he did run away successfully, life would be a whole lot harder for him. If he runs away unsuccessfully, he loses the trust of his murderous, power-hungry partner and the few liberties he is afforded at all.

Speaking of liberties, saying no to intimacy is one he still has, however the consequences for being frigid and nonreciprocating would come in other forms, over time, and Astarion would probably rather spare himself the trouble and just play along as the highly affectionate and fiery lover that this DU Drow wants him to be. The happier he is, the easier things are.

Not to mention that, occasionally, he can pretend that everything is back to how it used to be when they are being intimate.

I think there are vulnerable moments where he hopes he will snap out of it, but most of the time Astarion is convincing himself that he hit the jackpot, that he has DU drow wrapped around his finger and he will be able to turn this more in his favor eventually.

#ask #bhaalist du drow #du drow and astarion #content warning

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simpcityy · 10 months ago

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My Little Spawn Pt.3 (Dadstarion X Child!Reader)

Summary: Astarion was finally free from Cazador after being kidnapped by a mindflayer but he was stuck with one annoying task, you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Baldur's Gate 3 or any of its characters.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Use of (Y/N), Cazador, language, violence, spoilers for those who haven't gone far in the game, mentions of blood, animal death...Uhhh...I think that is all.

Authors Note: Thank you all so much for the support! I am so glad you are all loving this series so far! As always please, like, reblog and comment if you are loving this series and hopefully others would like it as well. Also...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 500 FOLLOWERS. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. Since we reached this number, I would do another father figure series because I feel I'm much better at that than a romance x reader version. Who should it be? Gale? Wyll? Rolan? Gortash? So many choices!

Astarion leans against the rocky wall watching you get swarm by the female druids and Tieflings coddling you from how adorable you are. He lets out a small smile seeing you pout as the ladies coo at you. He thinks back to the discovery he found out 2 nights ago. Dhampir, when has Cazador ever been involved with a human. More importantly which dumb female wants to be in a relationship with Cazador. He looks at you seeing you trying to squirm away from the ladies. He sudden thinks back how protective Cazador was with you. Never letting you step out of the palace even at night….no…he wasn’t protecting you but rather himself. He’s raising you as a spawn to conceal the reality of your powers. What a bastard but then again Astarion is not surprised, it’s Cazador after all.

You finally had enough of this ladies and burst out crying “Astarion!” You wail feeling overwhelmed. He sighs and walks over “Excuse me Ladies, I think the little one has enough and I hate for them to get cranky.” He picks you up walking away from the pouting ladies. “Now, now, there is no need to cry” He sighs and rubs your back as you whimper clinging on to his armor. “Don’t like the attention or what?” He asked as you only kept quiet whimpering a couple times laying your head on his shoulder trying to relax. He leans his head back trying to look at you, “Are…you okay, so odd of you to be quiet.” He mutters trying to find the group in the grove. “I just miss home…I miss papa…and everyone else…” You mutter. He sighs “there, there but you have me no?” He hums walking through the grove enjoying this simple conversation with you. “I want to go home…my clothes don’t fit much…it hurts me and I miss my toys!” You whine. Astarion lets out a chuckle “Oh what a spoiled little spawn…well creature…eh, you’ll always be a little spawn to me.” He puts you down looking at you, it was true, he did notice you were an inch taller than yesterday and your clothes did look a bit tight. “Oh you weren’t kidding…” He thinks looking around “Dhampir do grow faster and mature faster….” He mutters to himself before going to a trader seeing if they have anything in stock, fabric even.

As he was busy, you stray from him as you spotted a few tiefling children playing. You ran over smiling “Can I play!” You stood in front of them. “Sure! You’re from Baldur’s gate aren’t you by the way you talk and dress?” One of them smiles, “What games do you play at home?” One asked. You think carefully. Games, well you play ball by yourself, Cazador has you learn reading and writing. “I…um…I don’t know…usually papa has me studying and sends his people to play with me.” You held your hands behind your back and kick your feet in a shy manner. “Oh…you’re those kinds…Um….I think I heard my mom calling” They quickly left as the others give other excuses and leave you alone. You only look down and grab the ball they dropped bouncing it on your own. “What’s the matter?” Gale walks over seeing the scene. You look up, eye glossy trying not to let tears fall down. “Making friends is hard…” You whisper “Back home there is no other children playing with me…” Gale looks at you thinking back to himself as a young child. “It is isn’t it?” He smiles gently grabbing the ball from you and tossing it to you playing. You smile giggling and toss it back to him. “I don’t have any friends at home to play with, papa never lets me leave the big castle…” You catch the ball as it was tossed back. “Is that so? I know how it feels to be lonely…how about this.” He catches the ball and placed it down as he squats to your height. “(Y/N) would you like to be my friend?” He smiles as your eyes widen gasping. “You mean it!” Your little body bouncing with excitement. Gale nods waiting for your response. “Yes!” You bounce happily “ I have to tell Astarion!” You ran off to find the pale elf. Gale chuckles watching run off to bother Astarion with a big smile on your face.

The next day You were told to stay in the grove. Shadowheart chuckles watching you pouting away eating whatever was given to you. “I want to go out too!” You look up at her. She only sighs “How do I deal with children…you want to go out you say? I guess we can outside the gates and collect some herbs. I know everyone is going to need healing after this battle.” Getting up, she held your hand and walked outside of the grove. You ran around happily collecting flowers for everyone. “What am I supposed to collect?” You asked her. She smiles fixing your hair “See this herb right there, that’s what we need.” She points as your eyes follow the direction she was pointing at. You ran over picking it up smiling and collected more. She only sits by the rock watching you over as you collected whatever caught your little eye. You hum the same tune Cazador would hum to you. Collecting flowers you stopped seeing a bunny hop around in the distance. Shadowheart was busy playing with the artifact like a rubik's cube only to look up hearing the poor bunny squeal in the distance. She panics not seeing you and gets up putting the artifact away. “(Y/N)!?” She follows the sound before going down a small path behind a rock wall seeing you drain the blood of the poor bunny. You look up at her blood soaking your shirt and your lips stained. “What…are you doing?” She slowly walks over to you and kneels by you. You look at him “I…I didn’t mean to…I wanted to play with the bunny but…” You began to wail feeling overwhelmed by these urges. “Oh please don’t cry.” Shadowheart panics looking around, not knowing what to do in this scenario. “Where is the Spawn when you need him…okay. Let’s clean you up and a nap will help” She holds your hand ignoring the blood and toss the rabbit on the side into a bush for a wolf or other animal to chow on. She walks to the river and makes you wash your hands. “Relax, everything is going to be okay.” She whispers as you whimper. She collects water into her palm and rubs off the blood from your shirt the best of her ability. She sighs seeing the shirt to be now discolored into the blood stain. “Your bag is in the grove….we can’t let them see you like this.” She wipes your cheeks clean as well. You look over hearing the bush rustle behind her. Shadowheart quickly picked you up and took out her mace. “Who goes there!” She glares. You cling to her only to tear up seeing Astarion walk out of the bush.

“There you are, I thought I smelled blood near the gate.” He was out of breath and bruised from the battle they came back. His hair was all over the place and had a panicked look on his face. Shadowheart puts her mace away “Don’t scare me like that! I could’ve swing!” She scolds at him. He paid no attention to her as he walks over seeing your face stained in tears and a scared look. He noticed your clothes stained in blood. He took you from her arms and held you close, his hand on the back of your head. “What in the hells were you thinking?! I thought it was your blood I smelled all the way from the gates! I thought you got hurt!” He yells but not loudly knowing how much you hate it. You only laid your little head on his shoulder crying into his shoulder, your fist clinging on to him. He softens a bit feeling your little shoulders shake, you were scared. “What happened?” He looks at Shadowheart ready to pin this on her. “What did you do to them!” He glares at her. Hearing the commotion, Tav found them along with the others following. “What’s going on? Why is (Y/N) crying?” Tav walks over ready to stop Astarion seeing the murderous glare at the young woman. “What did you do!” He repeats to her, holding you close. “Their Dhampir side came out…” Shadowheart looks at him, feeling a bit speechless seeing him get this overprotective. She snaps out of it and points to the bunny in the bush. Gale walks over but turns around quickly “If you have a weak stomach…I suggest not looking” He covers his mouth. Tav walks over and looks at the bunny. “Gods…its in pieces….” They whisper. Hearing their comments made you tear up. They think your a monster, they won’t be your friends anymore…they won’t take you to see your home and papa anymore. You only hide your face more, letting out choked sobs. “Enough! Think before you speak.” Astarion held you close “We just hide the damn bunny and do our best to cheer them up…they are feeling overwhelmed and not themselves…gods do you people ever use your brain?” He walks off holding you close.

Night fell, you were in Astarion tent, in the corner. The pale elf walks in holding food, “Your still human…you need to eat this….we can start implementing human foods more than blood to control that urge.” He sits by you. You only look at the plate, hugging your knees and shake your head no. “(Y/N)...it was okay what you did…it’s in your nature…and I know your scared…I was too…when I first became a spawn….” He whispers softly and scoots closer only for you to scoot away. “ No…I don’t want to you…or anyone…like I did to Mr.Bunny..” You tear up. “Is that why mommy didn’t want me…am I a monster…they…probably won’t be my friends anymore” You whispers thinking back their reaction to the bunny. Astarion looks at you before grabbing your arm, you gasp and try to wiggle away, scared to hurt him only to feel a warm embrace. Astarion held you close, planting a kiss on the top of your head. “By hells, you are speaking nonsense little spawn.” He rubbed your back. “If they thought of us as monster, we wouldn’t be here now…they…are odd in their own ways you know so no one is perfect.” He grabbed the plate “Now eat up” He feed you a piece of fish and sat you on his lap, making sure you ate. You happily munched feeling slightly better.

After finishing your food, you laid your little head on Astarions chest as he held you close in one arm while the other was busy reading a book about Dhampir’s he found in a box. Your little doe eyes look up seeing everyone walk to Astarion’s tent. You cling to him feeling anxious only to calm down as Astarion rubs your little arm, “Relax, they come bearing gifts” He hums. Gale was the first one to talk “(Y/N), it was rude of me to…you know…having a weak stomach but you have nothing to worry about, I will always be your friend.” He smiles and leans down leaving down a purple wrapped gift on the ground for you smiling. He rubs your head “Sleep well” He whispers before being pushed back by Karlach, “Hey little soldier! Look what I got you” She smiles placing the small stuff bear in your arms which you happily accepted. “Thank you” You whisper shyly hugging the bear. Shadowheart smiles as it was her turn. “I got you some pretty flowers and made a couple of bracelets, we both have one. “ She shows off hers and place the other next to Gale’s gift. Tav walks over smiling and crouched next to you and Astarion. “Mine…you’ll have to wait because I promise…I will take you back home” They pat your head. Upon hearing this, you gasp. “You mean it! I get to see my papa soon!” You sat up.

Astarion leans back watching you interact happily with everyone, that fear gone. He chuckles seeing you yawn and rub your eyes. “Alright little spawn time for sleep.” He looks at the others shooing them away from his tent and picks you up, fixing the bedroll and lays down, holding you close. He wasn’t going to let you go through this alone, not on his watch. You’re his little spawn after all.

#dadstarion #dadstarion x child reader #dad astarion #bg3 x reader #bg3 astarion #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fic #bg3 #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate fic #baldurs gate 3 #gale dekarios #karlach #shadowheart #fatherfigure #astarion #MyLittleSpawn

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we-re-more-than-that · 11 months ago

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I haven't peeped much of it, but I did see people calling Sejanus a spoiled kid and I'm like I LOVE HIM EVEN MORE BC HE IS A SPOILED KID AND HE DIDN'T KNOW HUNGER AND HE STILL KNOWS THAT KEEPING THE STATUS QUO ISN'T THE WAY TO GO.

the empathy of this man

especially when you compare him to mf Coriolanus Snow who KNOWS hunger and STILL thinks people deserve this because they're not people but animals

the parallels between those two; Sejanus, kind because of his nature and nurturing of his mother, ten years in the Capitol and not letting those bullies erode his soul, not letting them harden him, he does NOT betray his kindness even as it could help him integrate better, no, he chooses loneliness no matter what over spoiling his soul

and over there is Coriolanus Snow, who does EVERYTHING for image and status, who fake befriends people on the basis of how they benefit him, having poor Tigris, the literal kindest baby, try to nurture him and pull something good out of him, and she just.. fails

and like, yes, Snow had trauma. but sorry it doesn't excuse becoming a dictator

Sejanus, too, had trauma. they all went through war. while, yes, Sejanus had food to eat, he was plagued by loneliness and guilt all his life and let me remind you this is a KID

people expecting him to be crafting plans just don't get it. he's a teenager that feels guilty as fuck and wants at least a few people to do better if he can't save everyone. because he can't, he can't stand by and watch more cruelties until he MAYBE inherits his father's money. and then what? he's not the only rich person in the Capitol.

either way, it's unlikely he could have led some revolutionary rebellion (he certainly had the grit and passion, though) because he had no backing and the ONE person who he trusted was a mf SNAKE and was actively sabotaging him

where was he gonna get allies for a rebellion? Capitol where he was hated because he wasn't like them? District 2 where he was hated because he didn't belong to them either? District 12 where he was a Peacekeeper, the police of the Capitol?

he was doomed from the start. he was too good and he couldn't play the long game because he was feeling so powerfully about everything and was NOT calculating like Snow. he was not the strategist Snow was.

he was a smart, kind, lonely boy who wanted to do good.

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #sejanus plinth #coriolanus snow #sejanus deserved better #he could have used his aim skill on coryo #but that boy would have never #had the fattest most unfortunate crush #and couldn't stomach anything like that #what a fucking duo they could have been #changing panem with kindness and wit and wickedness but for the right things #alas it was not to be #bc snow is a mf SNAKE 🐍#and only knows self-preservation #selfishness. arrogance. status #this is pretty unserious but also it's quite amazing to me how people can blame sejanus in any way

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thevestigeofvanillaan · 2 years ago

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Do u have any general headcanons of karma’s character and/or spicy ones?

sorry i haven't been active so i haven't done requests but.

Karma Headcanons:

he likes cowgirl, specifically reverse late at night while he records you without you knowing.

likes feet not in a weird way, he massages them after a day of hard work but only if they're clean.

he's a brat, literally. probably owns some fancy bmw and flexes it on you. and certainly won't let you drive it.

gets high often, but if you ever wanted/needed him to he'd cut down.

loves high sex though.

will take you shopping and help you get things. like you'll try on clothes and he'll have a blast helping you choose the best ones.

his gf has to either be just like him, total bitch who talks back and is contantly feining a fight.. : or, a little innocent girl who's short and a virgin and knows nothing because of her guarded childhood. take your route mama ;).

oh and he calls his girlfriend "babe" or "girlfriend", anything super boring, generic, or unloving.

but married him is full of "precious" "dear" "honey" "sweetheart". you'll NEVER catch him calling you your actual name, not even talking to other people. people could say "what's your wife's name?" and he'll accidentally say "sugar" or something.

there's no secrets. he's mad at you, he'll tell you straight up. if he does something wrong, he tells you.

he's horrible with kids. have a girl baby with that man and she's spoiled fucking rotten because he knows how to treat women. but he knows no account to discipline.

boy baby, he'd probably end up teaching that kid how to "play baseball" but actually be teaching him how to deal with a kid on the field when they "don't know the game".

#vanillaan #karma #karma akabane x reader #karma akabane #assassination classroom #karma x y/n #karma x reader #karma headcanons

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mrs-gauche · 9 days ago

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Hey guys! 🙂 It's the end of 2024 and I realized today I haven't posted on here since finishing Veilguard.

Well, to make it short.. since then, I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, replaying it, watching my friends who are DA casuals and not into fandom play it (which was very enlightening but also hilarious 😂), so now.. I feel like I'm at a point where I know exactly what my issues with this game are and I've made peace with it. I still love Dragon Age! And I love parts of Veilguard and I had a ton of fun playing it (though probably for all the wrong reasons 🥲). When I first finished the game, I cried tears of happiness that after ten years my favorite character actually somehow got a beautiful Happy Ending and closure, but also tears of sorrow that this marks the end of the story that was set up back in 2009.. and tears of mourning that this story had all the potential to be so so SO much more.

Dragon Age is a very weird franchise in that all the games have been, in many ways, vastly different from each other and to be a fan of the whole series means to recognize all its flaws and changes, but still loving it because of its unique core elements that glue it together and make it so special. I could sit here for hours trying to put into words what I think went wrong with Veilguard, but I know many people have already done so far more eloquently than I ever could. This blog was always meant to be just a positive little corner to share my love for these games and silly VA stuff with other people and I'm sure I will eventually reblog all the two million posts I've liked over the past month, both positive and critical. But for now and the new year, I want to focus my time and energy on just being creative, getting back to drawing and trying to realize ideas about DA I've had for a looong time and that's my way of "emotionally recovering" (that sounds so dramatic 😂). 💜

With that being said... What a crazy decade year it has been for me personally in this fandom... So I want to look back at it, just some rambling under the cut, 'cause I'm a little sentimental now, I guess. 🥲

Before I created this blog, I was mostly just a lurker on here for many years, despite being a fan of BioWare games since.. uh.. forever? lol But I was always waaay too insecure about my English, let alone my own art. I also have social anxiety, so maybe that was part of the reason why I decided to finally create this blog at a time when the fandom was at its most dormant? lol (There is also a whole separate post for another day about how Mass Effect influenced me personally and how it made my biggest dream come true, the enormous honor to voice a few NPCs in (the German version of) Andromeda. Still the craziest thing to ever happen to me. lol)

So, seeing all the crazy excitement and the fandom fully revived this year and all these months leading up to Veilguard was both incredibly overwhelming, but also the most fun I've ever had as being part of a fandom! This year also marked the first time I posted my own art online and I can't even put into words how crazy it was seeing the response to that and I still can't believe that Trick Weekes not only commented on but also reposted it, that is still f*cking insane to me and I'll never forget the morning I woke up to see that. lmao

So yeah.. THAT happened. Followed by what I think has to be one of the weirdest, craziest marketing campaigns I've ever seen. lol Going back to 2022, we truly had it all...

A title announcement on a random Thursday that was probably done so that it would not be confused with the Netflix series announced a few days later. A tie-in comic more than a year before release that was... a little pointless? lol A vinyl collection that spoiled the composers a year before release. A title change literally two days before the first trailer. A reveal trailer that left many in shock because of its tone shift and complete lack of the former title character. A line of Game Informer articles that left us often times with more questions than answers. Every single article being deleted the very next month due to GI shutting down. An actor panel at SDCC happening right as Sag Aftra went on strike. A "fandom" party that had nothing to do with Dragon Age. Jason Derulo. An artbook that accidentally revealed the release date with its pre-order, which was then deleted. Twice. Memes about roadmaps. A second trailer that in hindsight probably should've been the first one. An audio drama by a different writing team with some baffling (but funny) lore mistakes. A combat showcase starting off with a disclaimer that "footage had been edited due to spoilers"... followed by THE biggest spoiler in literally the first ten seconds. The first IGN video with super spoilery dev commentary. A hand-on preview event with 140 people leading to spoilers galore... Did I mention spoilers? lol

That was when I stopped looking at stuff online, so I don't know what happened after that, but WOW, what a crazy ride that was. 🥲 Truly a DA4 Summer to remember and I'm unironically so grateful to have witnessed it in real time with all of you. 😂

Then finally, after ten flippin years of tinfoiling, speculating, reading crazy development stories and clowning around at every gaming live event, Veilguard was finally released and it will probably go down as the most emotionally charged Halloween of my life. lmao

Then it was time to actually play The Veilguard. Which took me about a month.

A month filled with what I can only describe as a crazy rollercoaster of conflicting emotions. Aside from everything having to do with Solas, I'd say my personal highlights of the entire experience was seeing Felassan (I screamed), the PHOTO MODE and even one hilarious "breaking the fourth wall" moment, where I would frantically run around in Elgar'nan's trap in "Blood of Arlathan", to a point where I would yell at the screen "SOLAS, I COULD USE SOME HELP NOW, HELLO???" and hearing his flippin voice literally two seconds later going "Yes, you called?" and I freaked out so hard I dropped the controller. 😂😂😂 Also, as someone who romanced Alistair in my first playthrough of DAO and brought him to the final battle not knowing he would sacrifice himself, you can imagine my flashbacks when I saw Davrin dying at Tearstone.. who I had romanced. 💀 Or the Dark Ritual flashbacks when I saw Morrigan wanting to talk to me right before the final mission. lol Getting the Felassan rune actually made me tear up a little. There are many little moments like that that I loved or that made me emotional, but ultimately.. Veilguard is a game that, for all the amazing graphics and cutscenes and flashy combat.. the more I think about the story and the lore (or lack thereof), the more I end up confused and trying to figure out what it is that's breaking the immersion to me in a way that the previous games didn't.

But anyway... I finished Veilguard, though the DA craziness of 2024 wasn't over just yet and I didn't know that the best was yet to come in December. lol

So.. Years ago, one of the main reasons I created this blog was to make silly "appreciation posts" about Solas' German VA and ramble on about my love for his performance.. I even remember making a post on here like three years ago talking about how I would sadly never EVER get a chance to meet his VA personally, because that man never ever goes to any fan conventions or public events. lol

Well... GUESS WHO I MET AT THE GERMAN COMIC CON EARLIER THIS MONTH!!!

YES GUYS, without sounding like a weirdo (because despite my obsession with voice acting, I don't care for VAs social accounts or anything beyond their work as a VA), but after years of jokingly referring to this blog as the "Ozan Ünal Appreciation Blog", and kinda the reason I made this blog in the first place, I finally met the man himself and it was probably the best friggin fan experience I could've wished for. 🥲🥲🥲

See, I've met a lot of different VAs at Cons before, who were all super nice and awesome to talk to.. but let me tell you, this guy has such an incredibly contagious positive attitude and charm!! lol Me and my friend were literally the last to stand in line at his booth before the event closed, there were TONS of people (there were quite a few VAs at the Con, but his booth had BY FAR the most people in line the whole day lol) and yet he made sure to take the time to talk with every single person, asking questions, was genuinely interested in our opinions, joking around and just generally SO FRIGGIN NICE. And he's just a very chill and funny dude? lol

And it was so funny, because there were SO many people and yet apparently I was the only person that day to talk to him about DA and Solas and he was SO excited about it 😂😂😂 (I bet like 90% of the fans talked to him about his VA work on Vampire Diaries, The Big Bang Theory, Gravity Falls and Nicholas Hoult lol).

And of course, because DA4 happened so recently, it was still fresh in his memory. He told us that he even watched some Let's Plays and asked what we thought of the game and I'm still laughing so hard, because he was literally like "Oh yeah, the lore is MASSIVE and it was so overwhelming and I could barely keep up with it, the whole time I had no idea what I was talking about.. like, what exactly IS Mythal??" LMAOOO His performance for Solas was so good and so convincing and now I'll always have to picture him standing in the recording booth, no flippin clue what he's actually talking about. lmaoo And then my friend was pointing at me like "She's actually a walking lore encyclopedia" and then he was like "Oh, you should've been in the booth then!" lol

And I'm actually quite upset on his behalf now, because he also told us how, when the English VAs were officially announced, he had actually made a post on social media about how he was returning for Solas in DA4 and how he got in so much trouble for that because EA told him they were going to make an official announcement.... AND THEN THEY NEVER DID??? Like, I was desperately waiting for an announcement about the German voice cast and they simply never made one, we literally had to wait for the credits to be published? (Also, the German and French version have only one female and one male voice for Rook and no one knows what happened there, we tried to contact them about it, but no response so far?? It's like they don't even care.) That's EA for you...

Anyway, we then chatted a bit more about his other work and stuff and he recorded an audio for me (I actually got him to say the "Vir shiral malasa, bellanaris" GUYS AND IT SOUNDS SO GOOD, like I was so nervous, asking "Could you do elven..?" and he was like "Sure, it's been a year, might be a bit rusty" and then he just knocked it out of the park?? lmao So I have both Lavellan's AND Solas' WEDDING VOWS NOW. 😭😭😭❤❤❤❤❤)

So yeah, that was my meeting with Ozan flippin Ünal and what an awesome guy and amazing VA and what an "epic conclusion" of this year of the Dragon (Age) 2024. lol And the timing feels so strange now, because, in a way, it feels kinda like coming full circle?

Like I said in the beginning, for years I was always mainly a lurker in the fandom and the reason why I created this blog was to join in on the hype/speculation train for DA4 and to talk about Solas' German and French voices and share my silly edits and gifs. And now I've played Veilguard AND I've met Ozan Ünal.. both things that, at some point, I wasn't sure were ever going to happen.....

So.. In terms of my fandom experience, this year was crazy and whatever 2025 brings and whatever happens with this blog or DA in general... I love this fandom (especially my little Solasmancer bubble <3) and I love Dragon Age and whoever's reading this, here's to 2025 and I hope you have a Happy New Year!! 💜💜💜💜💜

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elodee · 8 months ago

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HERMIT A DAY MAY - DAY 20

GeminiTay x Over the Garden Wall

For Gem I picked Over the Garden Wall!

Gem's base this season is very spooky and atmospheric. I considered doing her entry in the style of the game that inspired it, but I haven't actually played it yet, so I decided to go with another spooky, atmospheric piece of media that I love.

To learn more about Over the Garden Wall and see my style references, go below the cut.

(Gamers Outreach :) )

Over the Garden Wall is an eerie 10 episode mini-series that follows two half-brothers named Wirt and Greg as they get lost in an otherworldly forest. While trying to find their way home, they meet a series of strange people who help or hinder their quest, Odyssey style, and are followed by an ominous figure known only as The Beast.

I can't tell you what happens exactly, because that would spoil the plot, but it is a fantastic show and well worth the watch! I rewatch it again every year in October as its by far one of my favourite Halloween stories. If you aren't sure what to watch for spooky season this year, try Over the Garden Wall, you won't regret it!

Style references:

Wirt and Greg, lost in the forest

This is the Woodsman, who warns the boys about the Beast. The show swings back and forth between very flat lighting and dramatic shadows depending on the atmosphere of the scene. I wanted to give Gem a bright lantern, like the Woodsman, so I chose to render her with dramatic shadows.

The Over the Garden Wall title design

#hermitaday #hermitcraft #geminitay #Seriously if you are looking for something creepy but not jumpscare-y this Halloween #Over the Garden Wall is definitely something you should give a watch

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kaija-rayne-author · 2 months ago

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10.1 in review series for Dragon Age Veilguard

70 hours in, 68 actual gameplay

Obligatory I'm not an asshole disclaimer, feel free to skip to the cut.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard

Section 9 is here.

I haven't played yet today. I have to take my immunocompromised ass into a world that doesn't give a shit about my life to get groceries. How do I know they don't care? They don't mask. It's as simple as that. If you care about immunocompromised people, people like me recovering from almost dying, pregnant people, old people, many children, people with immune affecting issues like long covid, depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia... goddess, the list goes on, if you cared? You'd mask. It's the number one way to help us survive. And no, us masking by ourselves doesn't work very well. Everyone has to.

Anyway. Yeah. Gotta risk my life for groceries because I can't afford delivery.

I was just sitting here, and I think I figured out some of the many issues that are bothering me about this game. The great big missing I've been trying to figure out.

They didn't make Veilguard for the adult gamers who have desperately wanted it for so long. They made it for children and teens.

Epler even outright said they'd changed things hoping to draw in a younger section of gamers. (In one of the first q&a sessions after the gameplay reveals.) I wonder if he bothered to do any market studies to see if that demographic would actually be interested?

I can only judge by my two gaming kids because I'm on media blackout while I finish this game. But no matter how much they simplified it for kids, they still have absolutely no interest in Dragon age. They're far more interested in indie games than anything a triple A studio puts out. Their opinions on Triple A studios are so low it's honestly ridiculous. They don't even understand why I love games put out by them.

So, the devs chose to remove things so that parents would be more likely to let their kid play what is still listed as a M level game (ESRB M for mature).

Ooooh, no. We can't have rogues picking locks and doing all the stuff rogues are supposed to be able to do. Why? Because that means kids will be delinquents doing the same! (The trust in the ability of older kids to understand the difference between a fantasy video game and real life is astounding, I tell you. /s) This is such a boomer thought process I'm shocked to see it, to be completely honest.)

Everyone is just so... nice. Not kind, that's different. But that sugary, false nice. None of the romanceables have anything tooooo controversial about them.

Blackwall Inquisition was a child murderer and lying about being a Grey Warden. Dorian was a spoiled, enslaving Tevinter rich boy (he did actually have a growth arc in Inquisition). Sera was a thief and a Red Jenny (people who worked against the entitled, rich nobility as needed to protect people without power). Varric (even though you can't romance him) was a thief, liar, cheater, and someone you wanted at your back in a fight because he fights dirty. Cassandra was bigoted, hide bound, and intolerant of any faiths other than Andrastianism. The Iron Bull was a failed Ben-Hassrath double agent. The ben-hassrath are a combination of spies, saboteurs, and assassins, among other things. Whatever was needed to defend the Qun. Cullen was a drug addict and such a horrible person in the previous two games it actually made me physically ill to try to romance him. Solas was, well, Solas. Who we all know had a lot of bad in his background. They've certainly hammered that point home in Veilguard. With a jackhammer. The only romance option in Inquisition that wasn’t dirty was Josey. And if you do Romance her, you find some dirt on her too.

I could say the same for almost every Dragon Age Romanceable in the entire damned series. They've mostly been not the greatest of people and when the writers were doing their jobs right, there were growth arcs for them that made them better people during the game. That's part of the fun of games with Romanceable characters. Picking out which broken bird fits your type of broken to romance. (And we're mostly all broken in some way.)

But all the romance options in Veilguard are... well, boring. They're nice, safe, decent people. And since most people have some darkness in them, it's probably not working for others as epically as it's not working for me.

If they're already nice, safe, decent people (even the fucking assassin!) then there's no room for growth. No room to learn that character and feel like your presence in their lives might give them a light to help them strive to be better people. They've truncated any potential for growth arcs for all of them. I'm a Romance author. When you're designing characters for Romance, they have to have a balance of flaws to good points. Otherwise they're just poorly designed characters with little potential to get hearts throbbing and knickers in a twist.

No wonder the romanceables aren't working for me. None of them have flaws big enough to make them well-rounded characters.

Moving on.

Have you noticed there's no blood splatter? You'll get a slowly creeping puddle around enemies, but somehow it never gets on the characters. I'll check if I have the energy to play after risking my life to get food. But I don't recall seeing a toggle for blood splatter in Veilguard. Like it or hate it, the blood splatter is very much a thing in games like these. They usually have an option to turn it off, but it's usually there. Especially in Dragon Age, blood splatter was a thing. A big thing. Hells, their logo was a blood splatter dragon for at least two games FFS. Edit. Confirmed there is no option anywhere I can find that lets us have blood splatter.

And honestly, having my characters coming out of hard fights looking like they've been through a meat grinder is part of the reason I enjoy games like these.

The choices for dialogue are also usually pretty 'nice'. The 'sarcastic' option usually isn't. The angry/strong one isn't either. It's all just... boring. And I'm into Act three now, so I'm thinking my hope of 'maybe the dialogue will get better' is probably an impossibility at this point.

The simplified plot points, the puerile storylines, the lack of dirt on the romanceables, the lack of growth arcs, the completely ridiculous cutting of 90% of the dark horror elements that made these games so good... we've lost all of that because they made this game for kids. And I highly doubt kids will be interested. So they've fucked over, and at least in my case, utterly pissed off the older gamers who have loved Dragon Age for so long, and very likely failed to attract younger gamers, too.

The problem with trying that, which I really think should've been obvious to somebody. Is that Dragon Age has never been a game designed for kids. It's always been bloody, often harsh, horrific, dark fantasy made for adults.

Games for younger people need to be designed for younger people from the first moment of creation. Or it just doesn't work. You technically can transfer some concepts from adult games into things for kids, but the result is invariably something as awful as Veilguard. And something bound to satisfy few people. The condescension toward younger folks in Veilguard is pretty bloody obvious. Something I've noticed kids hate? Being condescended to.

Congratulations on learning the lesson of knowing who your fucking market is.

It's crucial in any kind of content creation to know who you're making the thing for, and to not deviate from those genre expectations toooo much. Otherwise, you just have a mess of a disaster like Veilguard. They shot for two wildly dissimilar markets and failed both. Even the cartoony look of the art style is much more like a game for kids than anything like a dark fantasy game for adults.

And like... it's still listed as a mature rated game. So what, exactly, was the point of ruining Dragon Age like this? Many parents won't let their kids play M rated games regardless.

It's just so depressing. If they'd actually made this game for the people who had been praying for it for so long? It probably would have been phenomenal. As it stands, I'll be shocked if it doesn't sink Bioware. And if it doesn't, I'd think it because of bribery more than game quality.

I do have to say that you can decorate more than I thought. But you have to buy almost everything. And they're themes, so there's no intermixing possible. Like you could have Elven windows with Alamarri rugs and a Ferelden throne in Skyhold? All gifts from either people or cultures you'd helped, which tied it all together and connected it to the world... you can just change themes for the Lighthouse. It changes everything, and again, you have to buy almost everything. That really removes a lot of depth from the game.

People call all the collectibles and gifts etc. from the previous games 'filler'. But, frankly, that's a very uneducated opinion of what that 'filler' is supposed to do in fiction. The 'filler' (which is an actual technical term in writing fiction, and those things aren't filler) collectibles and quests gave depth to the games. It tied the world of THEDAS into the world of the player character. It's called world building in writing circles. And what confuses me is that I don't recall anyone having to do any of that. If all you wanted out of the previous games (especially Inquisition) was a fighting game, you could do that. None of the world building collection parts locked you out of any quests that I can recall. If you did enjoy deeper world building and collecting things, you could collect to your heart's content. There's none of that delicately intertwined, beautiful worldbuilding in Veilguard. It's stripped down to the very bare bones of mediocrity.

At heart, Veilguard is not a role-playing game. It's a fighting game. And not even a very well designed one. My not-a-fucking-rogue should never have aggro. That's not how this is supposed to work.

Why they felt going from a successful history of role-playing games to a stripped-down, poorly world built fighting game a good idea is just beyond me? Whoever made that decision honestly needs to be fired. And you will almost never see me say that. Jobs are too hard to find. But I will say it about Veilguard. The decisions made have ruined Veilguard in my honest, incredibly disappointed viewpoint.

They marketed this as a role-playing game. The expectation was for a role-playing game set in a richly detailed, deeply world built environment. Like most of the Dragon Age games have been. Especially Inquisition.

And we got a fighting game so stripped of world building that it's sad and just... boring.

Oh, heads up if you're disabled with any sort of disability that affects your hand eye coordination or ability to move your fingers quickly on a keyboard or controller. Don't buy this game. Even on the lowest setting with no death clicked on, you need a great deal of manual dexterity to use this crappy new fighting set up they've come up with. They definitely didn't think of physically disabled gamers at all in developing this. I'm just lucky my particular physical disabilities don't affect me that way. Though my hands are in agony from keeping my not-a-rogue out of the dragon on one side, stone wall on the other situation the fucked up aggro set up always puts me in.

They did bring gifts for companions back, which would thrill me if I actually had any desire to romance any of them. Which I honestly don't. And in games like these? It's often hard for me to pick which one. I often have to install a polyam mod so I can see the other romances because I'm usually so hot and bothered and just captivated by a Romanceable character or three that I won't be able to not romance them. Meaning I need the mod if I'm going to see the other romances.

I'm physically and mentally incapable of not romancing Astarion BG3. (I've tried!) Halsin gets me every time, too. Those are markers of excellent character development.

There's none of that in Veilguard.

Emmerich, and (as much as I hated his intro story, The Wigmaker,) Lucanis are the only slightly interesting characters to me.

Bellara is sweet and awkward, but they reduced her neurodivergent qualities so much it feels... off, to my neurodivergent ass. In the autistic people on tv way of off. (To date, there hasn't been much, if any, good rep of us on TV. It's all inspiration porn.) I don't feel seen in her. And I have quite a few traits she expresses. Whoever wrote her has my version of ADHD. But the way she's written, where she's constantly telling herself she's stupid or foolish or shouldn't do things? Those are markers of traumatized neurodivergence, not the ADHD itself they're highlighting. What that says is that, in her world, people have come down on her so hard for her differences, so often, that now she's mean to herself. ADHD kids aren't born like that. People make us like that. It's a sad representation of ADHD, not a celebratory or accepting one. It makes me feel like she, and me by extension, is to be pitied. Like someone like me, or Bellara, aren't worthy of respect, love, and trust. It's not a good feeling.

Neve is so suspicious and bitchy that I have no desire to even try to romance her. I want to shove Harding off a cliff.

Davrin is really suspiciously similar to Halsin BG3. Big, more blocky than usual for an elf, wants to do good, carves wood... but where Halsin really works (because of his deep character development and darkness) Davrin, while definitely hot and with an amazing voice... just falls flat.

Emmerich is a doll of prince charming manners and adorable fussiness. He's probably the character next to Lucanis who actually has the most darkness to him.

I really wanted to love Taash. And I like them a lot, but their 'you must choose only one' thing showed up really fucking early in the game. I didn't feel like I knew them yet, so they're just never going to work for my demisexual ass unless I actually replay this (unlikely?) with a polyam mod and basically plug my nose and close my eyes and leap into a relationship with them far earlier than I'm really comfy with.

So, there's some clarity for me on what's missing and why.

Genshin Impact has more draw for me as an adult gamer than Veilguard does. And that is absolutely a game targeted at teens and early twenties folks. It's also an incredibly well designed game with good world building, balanced fighting, and devs who know who their market is.

It's an old saw in content creation. But Know Your Market is a saw for a reason.

Section 10.2 here.

#dragon age veilguard #veilguard #da veilguard #dragonage #solas #dragon age #dragon age Veilguard Review #Veilguard spoilers #why did they make this game for kids?#I feel so betrayed

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oodlyenough · 9 months ago

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apollo justice: ace attorney thoughts

over the weekend I finished playing AA4 so I wanted to try to put my thoughts in order. much to think about etc

spoilers for the whole game obv, but i haven't played AA5 or AA6 yet so any mention of those are speculation lol

I had heard some pretty mixed reactions to AA4 and I had a lot of reservations going in. It's also probably the AA game I've played that I've been the most spoiled for, which is a shame but probably an unavoidable consequence of waiting for the port while engaging with the fandom. I don't usually like being spoiled but I think knowing the broad strokes of what to expect actually helped here. I can imagine an AU where I blitzed through the first trilogy and onto 4 with no idea of what was coming and being... very upset and disappointed by the direction it took. Having several months to brace for things like Phoenix's disbarment, the 7 year gap, Trucy, etc definitely softened those blows and made me more amenable to them than I would've been otherwise.

Cases

For the most part I thought the puzzle solving was good and the pacing was solid. The puzzles were mostly challenging enough to be satisfying to solve but not so challenging as to be infuriating, and I don't think I needed a walkthrough at all. 4-1 is one of the best tutorial cases in the franchise so far (though I'd give the edge to 3-1) and 4-4 was a really cool finale. The middle two cases tbh I also found fairly charming, and there's usually a least one case in the middle that seems to drag forever, so that was a pleasant surprise. I played Investigations 1 right before this, and I thought both the puzzles and pacing in that game were frankly horrible, so AA4 won a lot of points just with that.

I did think Turnabout Corner and Serenade would be more relevant in the grand scheme of things. The half-spoilers I knew had me expecting a much bigger web of conspriacy than we ended up with -- I expected it to be more than coincidence that Phoenix got hit by a car, more than coincidence that the Borginian egg coccoons are related to poison etc ... like... I fully assumed this was going to tie into the atroquinine plot. But I guess not ... ? Lol

Characters

The new main cast are all very likable, despite my initial reluctance to have a new main cast to begin with. Klavier was an interesting change of pace as prosecutor, in that he wasn't particularly antagonistic outside of the court, nor was he particularly preoccupied with winning, but he was still fun and challenging enough to face off against. Trucy was fun and delightfully bonkers as all assistants should be. Apollo's longsuffering exasperation was hilarious. Ema is the BEST I loved having her as the detective I wish she was there all the time.

I loved Beanix, for the most part. I can see why he rubs some people the wrong way, and tbh I'm glad his last canon outing isn't ... this. But I didn't find him wildly out of character, or at least, when he was feeling "out of character" vs the trilogy it made sense given the intervening events. I also thought it was fun to see him from the outside and see what a galaxybrain 5d chess master he is. I do wish we'd gotten to see more genuine moments of him with Trucy.

Kristoph was fun as a villain, though I have to say fandom led me to believe he was much more of a mastermind puppeteer than he seemed to be in reality. I was expecting a whole decade worth of conspiracies! Instead he fucked up once and struggled to fix it for seven years, lol. I also found the Kristoph/Phoenix relationship a) very fascinating, b) not really what I'd been led to believe by fandom (shocker). I like the canon more though -- I like that instead of being a retread of the Dollie betrayal-from-someone-you-love it was two guys who hate each other being forced to play nice as part of their own schemes.

Criticism

I think it's fairly obvious AA4 was meant to be a soft reboot of the series, to pivot away from the trilogy cast and set up our new heroes in Apollo, Trucy, and I guess Klavier. I think this is probably the entire explanation behind Maya and Edgeworth (and others but lbr those are the big two)'s conspicuous absence... but that doesn't make their absence any less conspicuous. I can squint and forgive neither of them being there when Phoenix is accused of murder, even though I find that insane. I can squint around Maya maybe being off in Kurain during the Enigmar trial, even though I think they could've used a line of dialogue to explain it. But then we started playing past-Phoenix for huge portions of investigation and that started to fall apart for me. Sure, maybe he's pushing his friends away because he's depressed, or maybe he wants to keep Maya out of things because he thinks it's dangerous, or whatever -- you could at least throw in a line or two saying as much. Not mentioning them at all and setting AA4 so closely after AA3, where Phoenix fell through a bridge to save Maya and Edgeworth chartered a private jet, just feels ridiculous.

I also think, at the end of the day, the story here was focused on and pivoting around Phoenix. The core question of the game is "what the hell happened to/is up with Phoenix Wright?" I love Phoenix, so that alone isn't a negative -- except that I think it meant Apollo, Klavier and even Trucy felt underwritten. Trucy and Klavier have such personal stakes in the unfolding events with the Gramaryes and Kristoph, but we only spend a little time and hints on how that might influence Trucy, who mostly falls into the AA weird girl pattern of brushing off major trauma instantly. (Maya got this a lot too in the original trilogy.)

Klavier ... I like Klavier, but they did not do much with him. How did he feel about Kristoph going to jail? He doesn't seem to hold it against Apollo, which is uh, noble, but perhaps not believable. He says he values honesty and truth but do we know why?

Apollo, likable as he was, felt like a passenger in his "own" game, rather than a major character. He doesn't even solve much of the stuff happening in the big overarching mystery -- he is Phoenix's avatar in court, presenting evidence and clues Phoenix left for him. Unlike Trucy and Klavier, who I am pretty sure take a back seat from now on, I guess Apollo still has two more games to try and flesh himself out ... lol but I also know fan reception of those two is not great, so my expectations there are minimal.

Overall

A really solid game that I enjoyed playing, though I can see why it's controversial and not some people's favourite, if they really loved the trilogy. I think it's debatable whether this was the best/only way to continue the series after AA3. And I am excited to read and write a billion 7 year gap fics now.

#ace attorney #aa4 spoilers #oodly plays AA #apollo justice: ace attorney

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vgtrackbracket · 3 months ago

Text

Video Game Track Bracket Round 4

The Ultimate Show from Super Paper Mario

youtube

vs.

The Days When My Mother Was There from Persona 5

youtube

Propaganda under the cut. If you want your propaganda reblogged and added to future polls, please tag it as propaganda or otherwise indicate this!

Note: The propaganda contains spoilers for Persona 5.

The Ultimate Show:

HOW COULD I LOSE WITH THE POWER OF LUIGI?? Jokes aside this is a VERY fitting final battle theme for an AMAZING game. Seriously if you haven't played this game do it now!!!!

the best thing in the game and it's not even close. and super paper mario is one of my favorite games ever.

The Days When My Mother Was There:

GUT. PUNCH.

Warning!! Heavy spoilers for Persona 5!!! Mentions of death and suicide! OKAY. I'm going to try to word this as best as I can in my Very Tired state. The reason why this song hits so hard for Persona fans (or, at least people who've played Persona 5) is because The Days When My Mother Was There plays in Futaba's Palace, which was created because of the psychological trauma and repressed memories caused after her mother's death (the government made a false suicide note that blamed her as the reason her mom died). She became a hermit (or in Japanese terms, a Hikikomori) and blamed herself to the point where she believed that the house she lived in (the same house our guardian, Sojiro Sakura, lives and takes care of her in) would be her tomb. Instead of fighting Futaba's Shadow, Futaba's Shadow causes her to awaken to her Persona (I feel it's important to say the Futaba asked for us to steal her heart, and Futaba's Shadow kind of helped us as we went through her Palace), and we fight Futaba's cognition of her mother, which is angry and constantly blames Futaba for her death, even though it wasn't her fault. This ENTIRE Palace hits differently than the other Palaces we'd seen so far, considering the other Palaces had been made by adults who prey on the weak. Futaba blamed herself for something she didn't do so badly she created a Palace. Futaba's Palace is filled with grief, melancholy, and feelings of self-hate and desperation for some sort of end, and The Days When My Mother Was There fits the Palace wonderfully, hitting those same feelings spot on. Persona 5 fans can't help but feel sad every time they hear this song. I have to stop this ramble before I say too much and accidentally spoil the entire game myself but if you want to learn more about Futaba or her Palace I PROMISE there are so many in-depth videos that psychoanalyze her and the other Persona 5 characters but I will leave this video because it explains her character in Japanese Context (which is VERY different when applying context from other places):

youtube

This video DOES spoil the game so don't watch if you don't want to be spoiled further.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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am i the asshole for still wanting my plushes back?

the people involved in this story are me (currently 22m, he/him), and my sibling J (currently 23nb, they/them), and this story happened while we were children, couldn't be older than 7 or 8. i am also autistic, and have very strong attachments to objects, especially plushes, so keep that in mind.

so J and i are not blood related, they lived in an awful situation with their bio mom and grandma until they joined my family when we were about 3 and 4. i think of them as my real sibling, and we are pretty close now, so this is pretty low stakes overall.

because of the neglect and spoiling that their previous caretakers raised them with, the first few years J was settling into our family were difficult, to say the least. they were super fussy, materialistic, and downright mean and entitled. i know this is a cruel thing to say about a mistreated child, especially since they are not like this anymore and regret it now, but it was true at the time. i was a very social and cheerful kid, and i had an older sister too, so i knew better how to treat other kids. i was really gung ho about having a new sibling, and wanted to make friends with them right away, but they did not share that sentiment.

one game i really liked to play (that definitely sparked my love of escape rooms later in life) was a clue-trail scavenger hunt thing where you would follow the clues one after another and eventually find the prize at the end. my parents set up a few of those for us over my childhood, and i got fascinated with it and wanted to set up them up for myself.

i tried multiple times to get J to play my scavenger hunt with me, since i was proud of the hiding spots and the rhymes i wrote on the clues, but they were very icy to me and often refused any game i wanted to play.

so i got an idea, to entice them to play, by making some of my pokemon plushes the grand prizes at the end of the hunt.

now you have to keep in mind, this was the mid-2000s, these pokemon plushes are choice collectors items and they do not make them like this anymore. and after a generous birthday gift from my aunt when i was maybe 6, i had a bountiful selection of them, that i knew J was bitterly jealous of, and sometimes would try and steal.

so i knew this would work as a carrot to get them to play with me, and it did! but they were only playing so they could have the prize, so every time i wanted to play again, i would have to offer up another one of my plushes, and eventually i ran out of all the ones we agreed were good or interesting, and now as an adult, the few i have remaining from my massive childhood collection are the ugly ones, and it makes me really sad to see how gutted it is from its former glory.

over the years, we've gotten a lot closer and J's nasty childhood attitude has all but disappeared, and i feel safe saying we're besties and get along fantastically.

i asked a few times as we got older and i remembered this occurance if i could have the plushes back, though, and they've always responded with a vehement No. they say i gave it to them fair and square, and they consider them a gift from me. i've tried pointing out that i only did it cause it was the only way i could get them to play with me when we were kids, and i kinda regretted giving away such valuable things when i was too young to really think about it. J always got upset at that point and said they didnt like thinking about how they used to be and it wasn't fair that i brought that into the conversation.

i 100% see how i could be the asshole here, since i did technically give the plushes to them, but i still kinda think its not fair of J to not even consider giving some back, because i was a dumb kid who just wanted to connect with my mean sibling. i try not to bring up how they used to act anymore, though, because i can understand how it hurts them to think about, but it is relevant in this specific situation.

i haven't asked them for the plushes back in a long time, but i was thinking about it again. and this is pretty low stakes, it wont ruin our relationship or anything, so tumblr, aita for still thinking J should give them back?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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6okuto · 1 year ago

Note

Monster mhin headcannons???? Or just mhin headcannons in general I've been starving with the lack of mhin content lately

MHIN HCS 3

gn!reader | mhin time! :3 i'm going to let the knowledgeable and big brained people mostly take care of monster mhin bc I fear a girl like me is silly and less capable...

as for my limited monster thoughts it'd be nice if their first transformation was done to protect you rather than an involuntary thing and letting it act as a symbol for your growing relationship. but Who Knows at this point

i assume there's some level of lost conscience when they transform So if there's a scene where some part of them refrains from hurting you I Will Start Eating Tree Bark.

Oh...and a scene where they've transformed back and you try to help them...them flinching and confused (though their voice comes out angry? frustrated? at first) about why you haven't run away....letting you cover them and bandage their injuries... 😵‍💫

moving on. they're on the verge of if not threatening people when it comes to co-op games like pico park or heave ho, especially if they're playing with people like vere and ais. no one's ever heard them speak this much someone needs to get them out of there

window seat enjoyer :-)

secretly enjoys when you send posts that remind you of them. the first few times they're like ? what do i do with this. but learn to appreciate it even if they don't actually reply in chat (sometimes if you're like "this is u" and it's Too accurate mhin's like Can you stop no it isn't (yes it is))

"when you're complaining about someone and your best friend is meaner" or however that trend goes. that's them. very direct with saying that person sounds like shit and you should stop talking to them

mhin may not like big, loud festivals, but i think they'd enjoy celebrating things with you alone ^^ maybe eating their favourite dish (tang yuan?)....it'd mean a lot to have someone to share with again

also!! having it for the first time and them mentioning their family and the last time they had it with people... the intimacy of it all...

and !! they reciprocate it!! they do!! they take note of any festivities you say you like, especially one that you wish you could celebrate or haven't in a long time. whether it's cultural, your birthday, your pet's birthday—mhin plans something for you and 'offers' to spend time together that day if you'd like. 'offers' as in shows up and mentions they'll be free some time in the conversation

^ more for the beginning of a relationship (platonic or romantic)... it'll take time, they'd be more direct eventually!

they care for you quietly and by...noticing. folding your laundry and putting it away when they know you're busy. picking up your favourite snacks when they notice you're running out. automatically getting ready to catch you or pull you back when the time calls for it. watching you from across the room at a party and noting where you are and how long you've been gone. that kind of deal

mhin's wary and off-put by being spoiled, but if you're stubborn enough, you'll find them using whatever you got pretty regularly. for example they'll tell you they don't Need a new softer comfier blanket, theirs is Fine, but then the one you buy is the only one they ever want to use. they will pretend like it isn't a big deal if you try to tease them about it

they don't like reading things online and would rather have a physical book. not that i'm projecting or anything of course. they take care of them too and don't lend them to just anybody

i think mhin has actual bookmarks, or would at least like them. they might also use a receipt to mark their page but won't fold the corners...

they always put books back where they found them at the library/book store. if they find one in the wrong section, they'll put it in the right place themself

they can get upset, but don't cry super easily, but that's mostly because they've gotten used to suppressing their emotions. they do their best to channel it into anger instead

mhin isolating themself when they're upset,, conflicted over wanting to be happy and letting themself drown in the sadness. but in the end they hope and survive and will continue to do so

hmm... keeps information of their family and history close to them, but at some point i do think they'd (bittersweetly) share stories with quiet fondness

mhin seems like a silver jewelry kind of person but i just think they'd look really nice with gold earrings while pushing their hair behind their ear...

they see You in formal attire for the first time and keep trying to glance at you the entire night btw. they might not take initiative to compliment you, but if you ask if you look alright, they'll say yes you look nice

...? likes earphones more than headphones. can't tell you why i feel this way

light sleeper. i think. they always know when you can't sleep and they'll stay up with you. if you say you'll go sleep somewhere else so you don't bother them, they're like ..? no.

...affectionate mhin....NOOOOO... it takes so long for them to reach that point it's literally like when a cat finally trusts you and lies next to you/on your lap You Cannot Move Now. You're both obligated to stay here and don't Want to do Anything else.

like imagine cuddling them and they hug you back and their grip tightens in their sleep when you shift around. mhin burying their face into your neck and taking a deep breath. please

if you're an introvert and you both finally get home after a long day out, it's just like. Thank god. and i think they'd understand if you'd rather spend time alone to recover ^^ but depending on the crowd there will be a gossip/complaint session at some point

mhin is one of the top LI's for me when it comes to scenes of like, fixing their collar/clothes. the intimacy of them clasping your necklace, the tension and bated breath because you've never been this close. the surprise on their face when you reach to fix their hood etc.

they enjoy sneaking up on you. they end up in some corner of the room and while you're scanning the crowd to look for them, they suddenly speak from behind you. there's a hint of an amused smile when you jump

@semifilms @mitskiologist @sweet-milky-tea705 hiii

#touchstarved game #touchstarved #mhin #mhin x reader #thinking of kyo from fruits basket transformation... being recognized and loved despite it all....NAOOOOOO

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bitterie-sweetie · 2 years ago

Text

Set it up

Pairing: Seokmin (DK) x reader Genre: fluff WC: 6.2k A/N: happy bday and seokmin day nat @syuperseventeen !! this is the fic that i've been writing in our dms foreverrr and now it's finally here (*´∇｀*)

You have absolutely no idea how to get closer to your crush, but perhaps asking his best friend for some advice is the way to go.

The whole point was to get close to Mingyu. That’s really all you wanted.

You don’t remember when you first met him, exactly. For the longest time, he’s just been someone who’s there—the tall one at the center of the group, the one cheering for you when you finally scored a strike during bowling night, the one waiting for you by the bathrooms when the rest of your friends have already headed out the door. He would smile at you and ask how you were doing, but otherwise, the two of you have never really talked. Truthfully, you’re not sure he even knows your name.

But despite that, you do end up learning a lot about him at all these events your friends drag you to. You know he's a lefty, and that he's good at bowling and just about any sport under the sun. You know he's an amazing cook, or so everyone says, and on top of that he also likes to clean. Though what really sealed the deal might have to be the time he let you walk on the inside of the sidewalk, as if he were a character straight out of a drama.

Now, months later, you’ve finally acknowledged these budding feelings for Kim Mingyu. But while acknowledging is one thing, the problem that remains is how do you get closer to him? You’ve tried to strike up a conversation many times already but what is there to talk about? At the pizza place a couple of weeks ago, you nearly mentioned the Marvel movie you saw the previous weekend only to stop yourself—what if he’s also a fan and you accidentally spoiled the entire thing? Or maybe he's not a movie person at all and would just smile awkwardly and pretend he didn’t hear you. Is he a book person then? He might be. But you also couldn’t ask about that when you haven't read a single book since high school, and there's no way you'd be able to keep up with the conversation if that's what gets him talking.

So here you are, finally turning to his best friend, Seokmin, for advice. Saturday morning has you out at a cafe instead of getting your eight hours, but such sacrifices are necessary for the sake of love.

Seokmin comes back from the counter, carrying both of your drinks and setting them down on the table in front of you. He’s wearing his usual bright smile that you’ve seen a few times before, and it calms your rapid heart a little. You try to smile back at him.

Out of the people you know to be Mingyu’s friends, Seokmin seemed the most approachable. He’s friendly and outgoing, loves to laugh, and during your group outing at the arcade, the two of you even played a few games together. Besides, you definitely weren’t going to ask the one with the glasses when he hardly spoke and never looked your way once, and the one that dances—Minghao, according to Soonyoung—might just laugh at your request more than he’d help. Thus, Seokmin was the obvious choice. You thought that if anyone could help you out, surely it’d be him.

“So?” He looks at you, unblinking. “What is it that you wanted to talk about?”

You open your mouth, and then close it again when the words feel like they’re sticking to your throat. Maybe you shouldn’t have done this. Is it too late to turn back? But you remind yourself that it’d be a waste to have come all this way just to not go through with it. “Um, you know your friend Mingyu?”

“No, who’s that?”

“Well, I wanted to ask you how I could get closer to him. Like, maybe you can tell me what his ideal type is? What are his interests? Does he have siblings and is he close to his family? Do you think you could maybe put in a good word for me the next time you talk to him? Maybe even… set us up on a date or something?”

Seokmin simply stares at you for a while and then blinks. Silence lingers in the air and each second that passes only makes your cheeks heat up more and more. Great, you said way too much. What kind of person bombards their crush’s friend with a random session of rapid-fire questions anyway?

And then, just as you imagined in your worst-case scenarios, he laughs. "Oh? You want me to be your wingman or something?" He manages to squeeze out.

Oh.

You don't laugh with him.

He stops laughing. "You can't be serious?"

"Well, not exactly a wingman but you're Mingyu's friend. Maybe you could give me some advice? Help me out a bit?"

“Hmm,” Seokmin considers for a moment. "Yeah, I've known Mingyu for a long time..." He raises a brow, and the corner of his lip lifts a little. "He's a tough person to get to know; usually he’s so friendly with everyone that you'd never know what he actually likes.”

“Right, that’s exactly why I need your help.”

“Are you sure about this? Because you're going to need some intensive training."

You don't know what he means by that. Is he saying you’re unworthy? That you’ve got no game? That—well, actually, he’s probably right. You’re here begging for his help after all. But despite this being a slight bruise to your ego, you’re sure whatever advice he can give must be better than the things Soonyoung has been telling you to do.

“Yeah,” you give a firm nod, “I’m sure. Let’s do it.”

“Okay!” Seokmin lifts his cup, holding it out for you to bump yours against, and then the deal is sealed.

And so, the plan begins.

After the initial meeting at the cafe, you meet him every few days when the two of you have time. Tuesday afternoon at the library is when Seokmin tells you where Mingyu usually hangs out—at the lounge in the finance building—and then Wednesday is when you swing by and entirely miss him. You get dinner with Seokmin on Thursday, just in time for your next opportunity, which presents itself as another group outing. This time at a board game cafe.

“I’ll create an opportunity so that you can sit beside him,” he says nonchalantly like it’s the easiest thing in the world, then proceeds to shove nearly the entire sandwich in his mouth.

“Right… but then what? What do I do after that?”

He looks at you mid-chew. You wait. Ten minutes go by. “The rest is in the hands of the OTP gods, Y/N.”

You do end up sitting next to Mingyu, with Seokmin on Mingyu’s other side, but that turns out to be the least of your worries. Sitting there has you picking up a stack of twelve cards during a game of Uno, when the two best friends stack their plus four cards to pass the punishment along to you. So much for sitting beside Mingyu. At least it gets him to laugh, though it’s Seokmin who’s having a good time at your expense, eyes sparkling and lip curling automatically when he meets your gaze.

Then the Saturday cafe session comes around again.

Seokmin sits down and crosses his arms, face unreadable. "Y/N, I barely pay attention to what’s going on around me and I still managed to see the way you tried to not-so-subtly get Mingyu's coffee order out of him yesterday. Please tell me it’s something you’ll never do again. You’re way too obvious. I am embarrassed for you."

Oh. So that’s what this is about.

"Okay, well," you frown at him, "if that was so bad then how would you do it then?"

"For starters, maybe don't mention it five times in a row while intentionally staring at him like you're waiting for an answer." He gives you a pointed look.

It was more like three times! Not five! "I wasn't staring," you mutter under your breath, though you know he's right. You're probably a lost cause at this rate and you still don't know what to do with the information that Kim Mingyu likes americanos.

As if he can sense your displeasure, Seokmin stops with the teasing after that. "Okay, first you just have to act natural. None of the googly eyes, the strange walks by his table when we're hanging out, and especially no interrogation questions."

“Uh huh.” You're skeptical. He’s making it sound way too easy. “And then what?”

“Then you talk to him like he’s just some guy.”

In the next moment, Seokmin puts on an impression of Mingyu so awful that it makes you entirely forget that you’d embarrassed yourself this time.

Soonyoung picks the arcade for the next week’s outing, and Seokmin tells you about all of the games that you could play with Mingyu. Shooting games, he says, are especially a good team bonding experience. Or you could battle it out on the DDR machines. But two rounds into the shooting game, Mingyu’s character is already dead, and while you manage to score a D on the DDR game, he ends up failing halfway through the song.

“So much for that plan,” you mutter, putting down the gun from the shooting game you’re about to quit. “Do you think I should’ve picked something easier?”

“Nah, that wouldn’t be fun.” Seokmin shakes his head and then takes out some tokens from his pocket. He puts them into the slot, then joins you by the spot where Mingyu left a moment ago. “We didn’t get to the end of the story last time, remember?”

You nod, feeling the grin creeping onto your face already. Seokmin is a good shot based on when you played this with him last time, and the two of you have perfect teamwork. “Let’s get it,” you say, high-fiving his outstretched hand. And before long, the night flies by and the two of you have used up all of your tokens.

Just like that, the two of you fall into a routine. Seokmin would give you a piece of advice, you’d attempt to use it the next time you see Mingyu, and then it’d fail. Then rinse and repeat.

It’s far from terrible, though. Seokmin might tease you a bit about your embarrassing moments and lack of progress, but you can’t be mad about it at all when spending time with him is ultimately a mood booster. He’s great at distracting you from not only your failure of a love life but from all of your school stresses as well, and more often than not, your hangouts tend to derail into something crazy and fun.

Sometimes you find yourself joining him in doing the awful impressions of your favourite Marvel characters, and other times you’re going to the convenience store to get late night snacks while having the world's largest debate over which kimbap flavour is the best. At some point you even dare each other to slurp the last of your bubble teas in the library as quietly as possible (spoiler alert: it doesn't go so well).

Even when it’s not so crazy, there’s never a dull moment with Seokmin. You get to learn a lot about him—after getting kicked out of the library, he shares his secret spot on campus with you and the two of you end up studying together there into the early hours of the morning. When you ask for a drink recommendation, he shares his extra customized Starbucks drink recipe. And when the sunrise slowly appears on the horizon and the two of you have given up on studying for the next midterm, he doesn’t shy away from telling you what he aspires to do after graduation, what he’s always dreamed of.

You end up falling asleep on his shoulder, and you think he’s going to make fun of you forever for it, but he simply smiles at you. An extra warm smile, washed by the golden rays of first light.

Then the two of you part ways and promise to meet each other again in a few days, although it never takes that long before he texts you a meme and you swing by his secret spot.

It does, however, make your friends notice your absence. Soonyoung corners you after your shared class one day to ask you where you’ve been, what you’ve been up to, and why he doesn’t seem to ever see you when you’re supposed to be best friends.

“Y/N, you’re not even going to study with us?” Soonyoung stands there, jaw dropping and mouth open in shock when you stand up to leave. Beside him, his girlfriend wears a milder version of the same expression. “Where are you going? We barely get to see you these days.”

“I have to go meet Seokmin now,” you say, picking up your bag. “I’ll see you guys next time, okay?”

He gives you a strange look. “Seokmin? Why are you meeting him? Did you guys become besties or something? Is that why you’ve been so MIA lately?”

“Yeah, kind of. Something like that.”

“Something like that,” Soonyoung repeats, unconvinced. “Are you guys dating?”

“What?” It’s your turn to give him a weird look. “No, Seokmin is just a friend. We’ve been hanging out and studying together, and he’s helping me with—”

Mingyu.

Kim Mingyu.

Even his name sounds unusual in your head, as if it’s a word you’ve repeated so many times that it has lost its meaning. But you know it’s the complete opposite of that: Mingyu’s name is unfamiliar to you because it hasn’t come up in a very long time.

“Y/N? You good?”

“Um, never mind. It’s a long story,” you quickly say, forcing a smile on your lips to hide the way your world has abruptly flipped upside down. “I’ll hang out with you guys next time, okay? I’ll even treat you to coffee.”

At the sound of that, Soonyoung’s frown turns into a grin but you barely have time to glance at it before you’re taking off.

The student center looks the same as it did last week and the week before that, and yet, it feels completely different this afternoon. You’re taken back to the first day you stepped in here to meet Seokmin, months ago, long before your memories of this place were filled with laughter and his funny impressions and all of the silly inside jokes you share.

Because how could you have forgotten the reason why you started all of this in the first place? How could Mingyu have slipped from your mind? You like him, for goodness’ sake! Perhaps you should be glad that Soonyoung’s questions served as a wakeup call and yanked you out of whatever reverie you were in, but now your stomach feels all queasy at just how far you’ve managed to stray from your original intentions.

“Hey,” Seokmin greets with his usual bright smile. He takes a seat across from you, and you can feel the corners of your lips instantly curving up. It really is that easy to forget, you think. One look at that smile and you’re in a bubble, with the outside world melting away. But you can’t forget any longer.

“Hi.”

He nearly does a double take. “Everything okay?”

“Um, yeah.” You need to figure out how to bring this up without making it weird, but at this point, it’s going to be weird either way. “I was just thinking about, um, well, we haven’t really gone out as a group for a while since everyone’s been busy and all. Maybe we can go after midterms.” You throw in a shrug to keep it nonchalant. “And maybe you can tell me if… Mingyu would be interested in that trendy restaurant we went to last month.”

You’re bringing that time up because it totally could’ve been a test run, or at least that’s what you tell yourself. That day, the rest of the group had cancelled on the original plans since some of them were busy, and so you and Seokmin spent the night looking for something fun to do followed by some good food. But maybe it’d be a good date spot with Mingyu; it was a great place after all. Maybe you wouldn’t feel like throwing up if you keep telling yourself that all of these activities you did, all the time that you invested over the past few months were for Mingyu.

You can see the moment Seokmin realizes it. The light that’s ever present in his eyes slowly fades until it completely disappears, and for the first time ever, his smile is gone. It makes one thing clear—you weren’t the only one who’d forgotten about Mingyu. Seokmin had forgotten about him too.

“Right,” he nods slowly, “I can ask him about that.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

There’s a silence that settles between the two of you, but not in the way it’d felt before. This time it’s dense, suffocating, foreboding, although you can’t exactly tell why you feel it and what it’s leading to. What’s the big deal about having gotten off track anyway? You can just correct your route and continue.

“Seokmin? And Y/N? Wow, I haven’t seen you guys in so long,” a voice comes floating over.

And when you look up, it’s Mingyu. Right in the flesh.

You can tell that his hair has grown out a bit and he’s dressed far more casually than you’ve ever seen him, but he still looks as good as always.

The two of you mutter your hellos but when no one seems to pick up the conversation, Mingyu ends up looking between you and Seokmin in a way that might lead to the same kind of misinterpretation that Soonyoung experienced.

No, you can’t risk having him get the wrong idea. “Mingyu,” you impulsively say, “do you want to go out for dinner with me this weekend?” There’s a slight emphasis on the me, so he doesn’t think it’s an us question.

A questioning look briefly flashes across his face, but to your surprise, Mingyu ends up nodding. “Yeah, okay.”

If it were the you from last term, there’d be no way such a bold question would ever come out of your mouth. But now, things are different. Now you can rashly throw out such propositions all for the sake of correcting yourself and getting back on track before more people get the wrong idea.

After chatting for a while, Mingyu leaves the two of you and says he'll talk to you soon. Oddly enough though, you barely feel any satisfaction afterwards—you're not jumping for joy or squealing in excitement like you once thought you’d be when in this situation. But isn’t this what you wanted?

Well, it’s no big deal. You tell yourself it’s because you’re still dumbfounded over his answer, especially when the two of you haven’t connected recently. Yes, that must be it. That must be why he slipped your mind in the first place; it’s not that your feelings for him faded, but just that you’ve been too busy.

You pack away the other thoughts into a box and seal it tightly. What would you do with the fact that you asked Mingyu the question thinking he’d turn you down, and weren’t upset at the thought of being rejected?

Across from you, Seokmin also appears to be taken aback by this whole encounter. He's quiet for once, almost as if he doesn't know how to react, and there’s a neutral expression on his face that you’ve never seen before. When you meet his eyes, they’re missing their usual warmth.

“Congrats, Y/N. You won’t be needing my help anymore.” Then he looks down to check the time on his phone. “Ah, I have to go for my tutorial session now,” he mutters, standing up and then slinging his bag on his shoulder without giving you another glance. “Have fun on the date.”

“Yeah—” you start to say, but he’s already out of earshot.

It’s only after you get back to your dorm that you realize: Seokmin doesn’t have a tutorial session today at all.

The rest of the week passes by quickly. You don't get a chance to see Seokmin when you're wrapped up in assignments and latched onto by Soonyoung, who insists on dragging you from store to store to pick an outfit for your date. And while you’re looking forward to the date and you’re content that everything is back on track, for some reason the stone in your chest doesn’t disappear. You feel it pressing down on you every time your eyes drift to your phone and see the lack of notifications.

Soon enough, the weekend approaches and it’s time for your date with Mingyu. You end up reluctantly wearing what Soonyoung picked out, figuring it can’t be any worse than what you have in your closet, and then head out to meet Mingyu at the restaurant you agreed on.

The night starts off just a little awkward—he speaks so quickly that you only end up catching half of each sentence, and the noise in the restaurant definitely doesn't help your case. Is it too much to hope he doesn't ask any questions and that your half-laugh is enough to cover yourself? Oh and you end up dropping a fork. Unintentionally. But it turns out to be the best thing to happen, for when you meet Mingyu's eyes after bending to pick it up, the two of you burst into laughter and it's like all the ice between you melts away.

After that point, it's pretty much what you expected: the food is good, the vibes are nice, and it's everything you could've hoped for. Mingyu is really nice and talking to him reminds you of what caught your eye in the first place, and the night seems to quickly fly by.

But if you expect your heart to flutter at every smile Mingyu shoots your way, and for your cheeks to heat up when you accidentally bump your knees against his, then you’re left hanging. This feeling is like the same, strange emptiness you felt the day he agreed to go on the date with you.

Perhaps it could very well be due to how distracted you are, though. Every embarrassing moment, every funny joke—they all turn into stories that you save in your mind to tell Seokmin the next time you see him. It’s all too easy to picture him gawking at some and then laughing until he’s crying at others, and it’d be a fun time. Plus you’re acting natural just like you practiced, and when you tell Seokmin, he’d be so proud of how far you’ve come.

At the end of the night, Mingyu walks you to your dorm and even gives you his jacket to wear when the wind becomes colder than you anticipated. You thank him for a good time, and then you say your goodbyes and that’s that.

Afterwards, life goes back to a time before you ever knew Mingyu or Seokmin.

You find yourself studying in the library with Soonyoung instead of going to any secret spot on campus, and when he asks for all the details about your date, you have nothing to say.

There’s only one person you want to talk to about it, and he’s nowhere to be seen. He doesn't answer your texts, leaves them unopened, and stops posting on social media entirely. You can't even tell if he's purposely avoiding you or if he's just caught up with school work or other things going on in his life.

“You know what’s funny?” Soonyoung abruptly sets down his pencil, the noise of it making you flinch. He’s probably had enough of your endless sighing all throughout the hour that you’ve been at the library.

“No.”

“I haven’t seen you this miserable before,” he says, narrowing his eyes at you. “And that includes the time you didn’t get into your exchange program and when you failed the midterm in first year.”

“Are you done yet or—”

“That also includes all the times you got ignored and rejected by Mingyu.”

You stop typing. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Y/N, you went on a perfectly good date with him and you’re about to go on a second date, yet you’re here, more miserable than before when he used to barely look at you.”

Yes, you’re willing to admit that you’re miserable. But Soonyoung likes to talk around the point a lot instead of directly addressing it, and you’re tired of trying to figure out just why you feel this way when everything should be perfect by now.

“So?” You heave a sigh. “Soonyoung, what are you trying to say?”

“Y/N.” He turns so that he’s facing you, rolling his chair forward so that he can put his hands on your shoulders like he’s giving you a pep talk. “You’re miserable because you think you’re supposed to like Mingyu, but really, you’ve completely fallen for Seokmin instead. And now you have no idea what to do about it, hence your state of denial.”

You’ve completely fallen for… what? You study Soonyoung’s face, trying to tell if he’s cracking another one of his jokes, but nothing indicates that he is. He’s completely serious which makes it all the stranger why he’s saying you’ve fallen for Seokmin. Because how can it be true? Seokmin is a great friend and you’re really missing him since he’s been avoiding you and all, but having feelings for him? Is that possible?

“Wait, are you for real? You actually didn’t know until I told you just now?”

“Um…” You don’t know what to say to that.

Soonyoung looks at you for a moment longer before smiling and patting your arm. “It’s okay to not know. Take some time to think about it—what is it that you really want? Who do you think of when something good happens to you and you want to share it with someone? And don’t lie; I know it’s not me.”

You give him a weak smile, unable to deny the last bit, and then the two of you part ways to head to your respective classes.

Over the course of the week, you do give it some thought. You slowly go through all of your past interactions with Seokmin, examining them from different angles to try to pinpoint whether you might’ve actually developed feelings for him. And when that doesn’t give you enough information, you take a closer look at the moment Soonyoung inadvertently reminded you that Mingyu was the start of all of this.

Why did you feel so disappointed at the time? Was it really because your brilliant plan had been derailed, which meant no progress with your crush, or was it because Mingyu was simply the excuse to keep meeting up with—

A loud ring cuts through the silence of the room, pulling you out of your thoughts. It’s your alarm. Great, if you don’t head out right now, you’d be late for your date with Mingyu, so you quickly grab your things and leave the house.

This second date has your stomach in knots. You don't know why you agreed to it, but at the same time, you didn’t exactly have a reason not to. Truthfully, you never expected him to ask for a second date, and you didn't expect to see him again. And it’s not that the first date went badly at all; no, it was fun and enjoyable and just an overall good date. But that’s all it was. You could probably be having an even better time with Seokmin—

Seokmin.

Already, Soonyoung’s words are echoing in your mind again. Okay, maybe he really was onto something.

This time your date with Mingyu is at a new cafe a block away from campus. By the time you get there, he's seated at a table and looking as handsome as always with two drinks in front of him.

“Hey,” you greet, sliding into the seat across from him.

“Hey, Y/N.”

It’s far more awkward than the first time. The two of you exchange small talk and you ask about how school is going, what he’s been up to lately, and he tells you he started that show you recommended. You tell him you tried his favourite food stall. Then the conversation dwindles, and you can’t help but feel held back by the thoughts swarming your head. Should you talk about what’s really on your mind? Should you, Y/N, ask him, Kim Mingyu, about his best friend, Lee Seokmin? When you’re supposedly on a date? Should you—

"So... you and Seokmin, huh?” Mingyu says slowly.

Oh.

You can't believe what you're hearing.

“W-what?”

He lets out a sigh, a wistful smile appearing. "Yeah, I know all about it. The two of you weren't exactly subtle."

"What do you mean?"

"The way you were talking about Seokmin that night when we had dinner, and when I saw the two of you in the student center that day. It's pretty obvious that the two of you have a connection."

You open your mouth to deny it, but you can't.

You can't, because it's true. There's no doubt that this is why you've gone through the five stages of grief or whatever just because Seokmin hasn't texted you back in weeks. This is why the first date with Mingyu seemed underwhelming, and why you feel slightly reluctant to even be sitting here with him now. Beyond the initial favour you'd asked of Seokmin, none of this was ever about Mingyu. It has always been about Seokmin.

Soonyoung was right, and it seems like everyone around you could see it perfectly clearly. And now, it all makes perfect sense.

You swallow nervously. “Um, yeah. I guess you could say that.”

“Look, Y/N, I’ll be straightforward and tell you that’s why I asked you to come here today. We had a great time the other night—don’t get me wrong—but I think we both know that’s not where your heart lies.”

You nod, and it’s like the weight in your chest lessens just enough that you can breathe again. That had been part of your worries—how were you supposed to tell him that you’re no longer interested in him? That maybe you never really were in the first place because you’ve fallen for his friend? The last thing you wanted to do was to mess things up between friends, so hearing Mingyu say that this date isn’t a date at all is truly the light at the end of your tunnel.

“I don’t know what happened between the two of you specifically, but he hasn’t been himself lately, and I get the feeling that it has to do with… us.” He grimaces. “I talked to him, but I think this is something you should clarify.”

“Trust me, I’ve been trying. He’s been avoiding me though; he won’t reply to my texts and I can’t seem to find him on campus anywhere.”

Mingyu stares at you for a moment and you can’t tell at all what he’s thinking. “Tonight at seven. Meet him at your usual spot.”

“What?”

“He’ll be there.” He nods firmly, and then stands up. “Go for it, Y/N.”

“I’ll be there. Thanks for letting me know.” You stand up as well, picking up your unfinished drink. “Oh and—Mingyu?”

“Hmm?”

“If you knew that there was something going on between me and Seokmin, why did you agree to the dinner that day in the first place?”

Mingyu hesitates for just a moment as if the question takes him off guard, but then a smile starts to appear. “I thought you wanted to talk to me about him.”

“Ah. Right.” You give him a quick smile, wave, and then leave the cafe.

You’re never asking a crush’s best friend for advice ever again.

You practically count down the hours, staring at the clock on your phone every few minutes.

There’s still no word from Seokmin himself, and your heart pounds like crazy over the fact that you’d have to blindly trust Mingyu and believe that he’ll show up. What should you even expect from this meeting? How could you possibly prepare for it, having no idea what Mingyu has told him?

And what’s more than that is the other thought that pops into your head: what if he doesn’t feel the same way? Sure, everyone may have implied there was something going on between the two of you, but what if his avoidance was because he thought you used him? That the two of you were becoming friends—nothing more—and that you tossed him away the moment Mingyu looked at you? What if all of this is yet another misunderstanding?

Well, you figure it doesn’t matter anyway. You’ll go in there and tell him the truth regardless of whether you get rejected or whether he never wants to see you again.

So you get to the student center and then climb the stairs two at a time, unsure of whether you want to get there faster or slower. Because this time, there’s truly nothing to hide behind. This time when you see him, you’re no longer using Mingyu’s name as your shield or excuse, nor is Seokmin your crush’s best friend.

When you step into the room, you immediately see him curled up on the couch. It’s just as Mingyu said—Seokmin doesn’t look like himself. The usual brightness is missing from his face, seemingly replaced by the dark circles under his eyes, and the smile that he attempts when he sees you is just an attempt.

You gently take a seat at the opposite end of the couch. There was some sort of speech you practiced on your walk here, but after seeing him, everything leaves your mind at once.

“Hey,” you start. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Seokmin nods. “Yeah, um. It’s—sorry. I have no excuse for avoiding you. Just needed some space and some time to think.”

“Yeah, of course.” Then silence. “Seokmin—”

“Um, I—”

You stop. “You can go first.”

He hesitates, but ultimately continues. "I'm assuming your date with Mingyu went well? That things are going well between the two of you?" He doesn't wait for a response and simply nods to himself. "That's good. The two of you are good for each other."

"What?" You're almost worried for him because what exactly did Mingyu tell him? Nothing, judging by the sounds of it, or it’s that Seokmin has decided not to believe any of it. "What are you saying?"

He turns to you. "I know you were trying to get Mingyu to fall for you, but I think it worked on me too."

Oh.

Suddenly, it's like his confession makes everything click. You aren’t the only one who thought it was way too easy to forget Mingyu's name over the course of your hangouts, or to not have him cross your mind entirely until you were reminded. And you’re not the only one who was disappointed when his name was brought up again, or who wasn’t excited about your date with him.

Originally, you might've wanted to get advice from Mingyu's best friend and then developed feelings for said best friend along the way, but now you know that said best friend has also fallen for you.

“Too?” You shake your head. "No, it didn’t work on Mingyu. It never did; he only went on the date because he knew I—” you pause to take a deep breath, “he knew I liked you. He thought I asked him out because I wanted to talk to him about you.”

Still, Seokmin doesn’t say anything.

“But I'm not here to talk about Mingyu. Our hangouts might've started because of him, but we've spent more time forgetting about him than talking about him. And I think I must've spent more time talking about you than about myself during my date with him."

“Why would you do that? What do you mean…” he trails off and then meets your eyes, and you can see the moment it clicks for him. The light in his eyes—it seems to come back gradually like a candle flickering back to life or colour restoring in a monochrome landscape. “Do you really mean that?”

“Yeah, Seokmin. I don’t know when it started to happen, but the whole asking you for advice thing turned into an excuse to see you. I didn’t know it at the time when I asked Mingyu out and just—I freaked out and messed things up.” Your pulse is racing at this point, and it’s hard to swallow but you have to push on and ask one last thing. “So maybe… you can give me some advice on how to win your heart instead?”

“You already have, Y/N,” he says softly, and the warm smile that you missed so much is now back and glowing more than ever.

Then a moment later, as per typical Seokmin behaviour, he bursts into laughter. He laughs like he's finding the whole situation absurd—which it is—and soon, you join in too. You laugh at how Mingyu is the one who unknowingly brought the two of you together, how asking Seokmin for a mere favour has bloomed into an unlikely friendship.

And now, maybe into something more.

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