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melioramercy · 4 years ago

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i didn’t mean to, but i know it still hurts

spencer reid x nonbinary partner (afab) (they/them/theirs)

in which spencer accidentally misgenders his partner

this is my first fic ! how groovy is that ?

note: misgendering is defined as the following: [to] refer to (someone, especially a transgender person) using a word, especially a pronoun or form of address, that does not correctly reflect the gender with which they identify.

if you’d like to chat about gender (respectfully) my asks are open xx ruby

dating spencer reid was wonderful. truly, you had no idea how you’d gotten so lucky. he was kind without trying, attentive to your needs, and would never do anything to hurt your feelings. not on purpose, anyway. but when he did, he was quick to apologise, curling up on the couch with you and kissing your head. he knew you typically brooded in silence, choosing to let what was bothering you wash over you in full before attempting to sort anything out. this way, you didn’t say anything you didn’t mean. you two always sorted out conflicts peacefully, and only ended up crying because you loved each other so much and you never wanted to be mad at the other. because of this, he was more than happy to sit with you in silence, weathering your storm together.

spencer didn’t know you were nonbinary when you first met. that was ten months ago, back when you only knew him as the cute, clumsy guy who frequented the same park as you. he liked to play chess, you learned, while he noticed you practicing complex yoga poses just a stone’s throw past him. the two of you maintained a respectful distance from one another, though you snuck glances at him, admiring the way his tongue poked out between his lips, and how quickly his hands darted around the board. he never noticed you staring, the same way you didn’t notice his eyes bashfully skating over your figure, sucking in a breath as your shirt rode up, revealing your colourful sports bra and soft tummy.

you’d existed in the same space, bearing witness to one another’s leisure activities for nearly four months before you interacted beyond a slight smile or shy wave. some days, he sat propped against a tree, reading a thick book or sketching. you were physically closer than ever when he sat under the tree, but you couldn’t have felt further apart. on the days he had a notebook in front of him, pencil sliding across the paper, his gaze never wavered, and you couldn't help but secretly hope he was drawing a portrait of you. spurred on by your daydream, you decided to try out more skillful poses, subconsciously trying to break his concentration, but no dice.

it wasn’t until you fell out of a handstand and face-planted that the force field between you two broke. he jumped up from his spot under the tree and ran over to you, wiping dirt off your forehead and holding your face as he checked for any scrapes or bruises. you hoped his warm hands couldn’t feel the way your cheeks burned as he scrutinized you. you let out a breathy laugh mixed with a gasp as you realized how close he was. from here, you could see the green around his pupils, blooming into a gorgeous hazel. the wind teased the curls you’d longed to run your hands through. as if jolted by an unseen presence, he realized how close he was to you, quickly dropping his hands from your face and pulling away.

“uh, sorry,” he said, brushing off his pants as he stood.

“no, no, really, it’s okay. thank you. i usually practice my handstands at home, with lots of cushions around.” damn, he was so cute. you tugged your shirt down, suddenly feeling self-conscious in your tight, printed leggings, toes wriggling into the grass.

you stared at each other, unsure of what to say. was it wrong to want his hands back on your face, kissing you like his life depended on it?

“i’m y/n,” you offered.

“spencer.”

“well, it’s lovely to meet you, spencer. thank you again.” shit, was this really going to end here?

“yeah, uhm, you too. y/n.” the words brought a smile to your face, and you loved the way your name fit in his mouth.

he rocked on his feet, as if he were working up the courage to say something.

“okay... bye.” and just like that, he turned to leave. no, no no no no. fuck, think, y/n, think!

“hey!” you shouted, loud enough to startle him. as soon as he turned around, you were blurting out, “do you wanna go out sometime?”

***

you told spencer about your pronouns, along with your gender identity, on the date you’d scheduled for the following weekend, pending his schedule didn’t change. he didn’t offer up any information about his job, or what made his schedule so wonky, and you didn’t ask. you wanted to know anything you could about the man you’d seen at the park so many times, but you didn't want to push him.

you’d agreed to take a walk in the park before heading to a nearby restaurant for dinner. you wanted to give him an easy out, in case he changed his mind about you. you wore a simple top with linen pants and sandals, while he wore a more casual version of what you’d seen him wearing before. slacks, a button-down sans sweater vest, and converse. you met up at the tree you’d seen him reading under before, savouring the way he complimented you. beginning to walk the path, you worked up the nerve to confess your truth.

“so,” you began. “i’ve gotta get something out of the way.” you saw a flash of panic in his eyes, opting to continue before he could ask any questions.

“i’m nonbinary.”

he stopped walking, letting out a breath before turning to you. fuck, you thought. this is it. he’s gonna be scared off just like everyone else before him. considering how long you'd hoped for this moment, this would be the hardest loss of them all. but you couldn't compromise yourself, in the same way you wouldn't be able to change his mind if he thought your gender identity was too much baggage.

you were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t see the smile on his face. you also realized neither of you had said anything since your initial admission.

“spencer?” his name sounded like a plea, with a tinge of hope lining your voice.

“okay.”

“okay?” that’s it?

“what pronouns would you like me to refer to you with?”

the question was one you’d heard before, but it sounded so much... better coming from him. you felt a flutter in your heart, a smile budding on your face as he slipped his hand into yours.

“y/n," you reintroduced yourself. "they/them/theirs.”

he nodded at that, beginning to walk again. you didn’t expect him to speak again, and you definitely weren't expecting what he said next.

“spencer,” he said. “he/him/his.”

you squeezed his hand, the flutter in your heart replaced with something different, something... warm. you really hoped this would last.

***

ten months later, you were sat at the kitchen table, having breakfast for dinner, with your boyfriend recalling some conversation he’d had with the team.

“and i told morgan, y/n always stays up waiting for me on the couch, but sometimes she falls asleep and-”

he immediately froze, not missing the way you flinched behind your coffee mug. for a second, he thought he should’ve just kept talking, quickly correcting himself and continuing with the story. he knew you disliked when people made a big deal out of messing up your pronouns, but he couldn’t help himself.

“y/n, i-”

you were quick to cut him off.

“spence, it’s okay. it was an accident.” your voice didn’t reveal your hurt, but spencer didn't miss the look in your eyes, the way your brow furrowed as you tried to keep his slip up from getting to you. it wasn't personal. it was an accident. but it still hurt.

“y/n, i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” he started rambling, leaving you no room to interrupt. “i’m sorry, i know your pronouns. i would never misgender you on purpose or do anything to hurt you.” he reached across the table, grabbing your hands and squeezing them tightly. “you’re my y/n/n, my beanie. i love you so much. i’m sorry.”

he'd started weeping at the initial mess up, but now he was fully crying, harder than you'd ever seen. it scared you more than it confused you. why was he so upset?

“spence, baby, it’s okay,” you begged him to believe you, but he only dropped his head against your hands, his tears wetting your skin. “spencer,” you said, more insistently.

you sighed, realizing he wasn’t letting up. you pulled your hands out from under his head, hoping he’d look up at you, but he dropped his head onto the table instead. what was up with him? seriously, people called you “she” all the time, and it was rarely malicious. you were used to it, but he was always bothered, correcting people so you didn’t have to. he really was the perfect boyfriend.

abruptly, you stood up, grabbing his arm and pulling with all your weight. he gave in, letting you drag him to the couch. you sat down, the worn leather squeaking as you tucked your feet under yourself. you tugged him down to sit next to you, cradling his head against your chest like he'd done with you so many times before when you were upset. you kissed his forehead and stroked his hair until his breathing slowed down.

“you okay, baby?” your words were met with a murmur, but it was better than nothing. “spence?”

you tilted his head so you could look each other in the eye.

“what’s going on, lovey?”

it was his turn to sigh, his nostrils flaring as his big ole brain searched for the right words.

“i’m sorry.”

you didn’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean it, but i know it still hurts. your pronouns are part of you, and i’ve seen first-hand how much it bugs you when someone refers to you as ‘she’ or ‘her.’ i know you take it personally, and i don't blame you. i know i'll never understand how much it affects you, or why, and i never, ever, want to be the person who makes you feel that way.”

“i know, spence, it’s okay.”

“but it’s not, y/n!” his words were frantic, but he took a deep breath to try and calm himself. “i’m sorry. i just, i’ve never messed up before.”

so that’s what is was. god, on the one hand, you were grateful he took it so... personally? no. you couldn’t put your finger on it, but the fact that he cared so much made you feel loved, and seen. he knew how much it hurt you, and it hurt him just as much.

“baby, thank you.”

he looked you right in the eye, confused as to why you were thanking him.

“thank you, for loving me. for being you. spence, i... i’ve never had anyone who’s cared so much. you’re right, it does hurt, but i love you. i know you didn’t mean any harm, and i know you would never do it on purpose. you don’t have to beat yourself up, okay?”

he still seemed upset, so you reached around, hooking your pinky with his. his lip quirked up at that, and he adjusted so he could press his palm to yours, entwining your fingers.

“i love you, beanie.”

“i love you, too, baby. so so much.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid fic #spencer reid x nonbinary!reader #spencer reid x yn #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #ruby writes #nonbinary writer

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sleepless-in-starbucks · 5 years ago

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Handsome, Handsome Man

Summary: There was a million reasons Virgil was ready to declare today a lost cause and sleep until there was no day left, and only one reason to not. But when the other reasons a very caring partner, even the biggest of issues quickly lost their edge. Content: Dysphoria, mentions of misgendering, swearing, transmale!Virgil, nonbinary!Deceit Pairing: Romantic Anxceit Notes: For @figurative-siren-song because dysphoria fucking sucks

On a list of ‘bad days’, Virgil was ready to put this one up amongst the pretty-fucking-bads. He had woken up with the tell-tale cramps of coming bloody and messy days and from there everything had spiraled. His hair was just barely getting shaggy and yet it was too long, his binder was on and yet it wasn’t doing nearly enough, and there was a voicemail from his mom that he knew was just going to be brimming with unapologetic misgenderings. He had been awake for five minutes and he was already ready to give up, call it a failed day, and sleep for the next twenty-four hours; maybe longer.

He had achieved steps one and two quite well, in fact, and was halfway to seeing the third one through when his phone rang. He huffed as he unwrapped himself from half his blankets and found the current object of his frustrations.

“What do you want?” He half-slurred, half-spit into the phone as soon as he took the call, not even glancing at the caller ID. He was fairly certain it was his mother, and he really, really wasn’t in the mood.

“To talk to my boyfriend, if that’s not too much of a hassle.” The caller responded, and Virgil moaned as he recognized the voice.

“Damnit, Dee, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Damien responded, cutting Virgil off. “Bad day?”

“Very bad. So, so fucking bad.” Virgil complained, falling back against his bed and pulling more of his sheets over his body, treasuring how blob-like and formless his chest looked with them piled on top of them. “Everything’s wrong, Dee. Every. Fucking. Thing.”

“Do you want me to come over?”

Yes. Virgil bit back on his actual answer. He did want Damien there, more than anything just wanted to curl up against his partner and let them comb through his hair and tell him he was handsome and let the world fade into nothing until the only thing left was him and Damien.

But for as much as he wanted Damien there, he also knew they were busy- they had jobs to do and things to sort and- and other stuff that Virgil was sure was very important, more important than his momentary crisis of self. So, his actual answer aside, Virgil shook his head against his pillow and answered, “Nah, I’ll be fine. Just tired of this shit.”

“Nice try, darling.” Damien replied almost immediately, making Virgil wonder if his pause of consideration gave him away before his words could. “But you can’t lie to a liar.”

“I can try.” Virgil returned, only garnering a chuckle from Damien.

“I’m coming over.” Damien told him, leaving no room for argument. “How much ice cream should I bring?”

“One tub’ll be fine.”

“Two tubs it is.” Damien responded. Virgil laughed at that, laughter dissolving into a small but soft smile.

“Be here soon?” He asked, trying (and mostly failing) to not sound too whiny. Luckily, Damien didn’t seem to mind the inflection.

“I’ll break every traffic law, just for you.”

Virgil laughed. “You always do that.”

“Yes, but this time, it’s for you.” Damien stressed, and Virgil didn’t need to see them to know they were smirking. “See you soon, handsome.”

“See you soon.” Virgil echoed, pressing a hand against his already blooming smile at the petname even though there was no one there to see it. He tossed his phone aside as soon as Damien hung up, well aware he wouldn’t want to take any other calls that came through.

It only took fifteen minutes for Damien to get there, and in that time Virgil had managed to complete his metamorphosis into a complete blanket lump, several layers of sheets tucked over his body and head, blocking out the rest of the world. Even at the sound of his front door and bedroom door opening, he didn’t free himself, only snuggling in further as chuckles rang out through the room.

“Cuddle piles don’t work too well with only one member, you know.” Damien said, voice quiet but smooth as one of their hands ran over the top of the blanket lump that Virgil had become. “Though you do seem to be making a valiant effort to make the first completely antisocial cuddle pile.”

“Warm blankets suffice.” Virgil mumbled. Damien laughed again, hand now coming up to rest somewhere against his shoulder.

“Yes, but warm people work better.” Damien told him. “Now, can I see my dashing dapper boyfriend, or must I continue to converse with a blanket that is not nearly as attractive as him?”

Virgil didn’t fulfill his request immediately, but that was mostly because he wanted to give his rising blush a moment to subside before facing them. Within a minute or too, he lowered the blanket covering his face, peeking out at his partner. His attempt to hide his blush, however, was apparently for naught if the smirk Damien greeted him with was anything to go by.

“There he is.” Damien greeted warmly, leaning over to press a kiss to his forehead, brushing aside his bangs as they did so. “My handsome, handsome man.”

“And there you are.” Virgil replied, trying to sound more put together than he was feeling. “My lovely, lovely partner.”

“You can’t turn this around on me, love.” Damien told him, just the faintest pink twinge rising in their cheeks. “Right now is about you.”

Virgil huffed, but there was no heat in it. “Unfair.”

“Very fair.” Damien rebuked. “Now, I guessed that the blanket pile was not in the mood for ice cream, but it’s in the freezer for when you do want it.”

“Chocolate?”

“No, I would’ve gotten my ailing boyfriend anything but his favorite ice cream in his time of need.” Damien replied, sarcasm thick in their voice, though their tone was teasing; not unkind.

“You’re an awful partner.” Virgil told them, his sarcasm slightly more biting, but Damien understood it nonetheless.

“Perhaps I am.” Damien told him, one of their hands moving to play with Virgil’s hair even as they spoke, looping it around their fingers and combing through it. “Though I suppose awful partners don’t cuddle with their charming boyfriends?”

Virgil kneed Damien in the leg. “Don’t be an ass.” He said, attempting to glare as his partner did little more than laugh. “Either join the anti-social cuddle pile or get out.”

“I don’t think that’s how anti-social things work, dearest.” Damien commented, though they were always raising up the blankets covering Virgil’s side and sliding onto the bed, pulling them over themself as they settled next to their boyfriend.

“If you can make traffic law exceptions for me, I can make anti-social exceptions for you.” Virgil told them plainly, rolling on his side so that he could press up closer against Damien. “It’s only fair.”

Damien shifted a bit so as to pull Virgil’s head into their lap, once more resuming their work at carding fingers through his hair, now occasionally scratching at his scalp as well. “I suppose.” They sighed in mock annoyance.

Virgil smiled up at them for that, and after a moment of fake brooding, they smiled back, even sticking their tongue out to blep just the tiniest amount. Despite having many times experienced annoyance towards the action, saying it was too cutesy for their aesthetic, they were always more than happy to do it anyways when they knew only Virgil could see. Virgil loved the reminder of how close they truly were, and how much they trusted Virgil, and it always made him smile.

Well, that, and because Damien really did look quite cute when they blepped.

“I love you.” Virgil told them. It wasn’t really an impulse, since Virgil tended to be more reserved with how often he used those three little words, but in the moment it felt as if there was nothing else he possibly could say and nothing else he’d rather say.

Damien’s smile softened into something more rare, something more adoring, as they leaned down to press another kiss against Virgil’s brow. “And I love you, my handsome, charming, dashing, dapper, masucline, manly boyfriend.”

That was overkill, in Virgil’s opinion, and coming from anyone else it would have sounded sickeningly fake.

But coming from Damien, as they played with Virgil’s hair and held him close and looked at him so sweetly, Virgil felt he had never heard anything truer. There was no doubt in his mind: he was a man. Maybe not the most stereotypical man, but a man nonetheless.

And so long as his partner loved him for it, he was perfect.

#anxceit #ts virgil #ts janus #sympathetic deceit #nb!janus #trans!virgil #the cryptid speaks #fanfic #fanfiction #ts sides #sanders sides #casper #i hope this isn't too out of character #and that you like it!#also ik cas doesn't like chocolate but ik (famILY) virgil does so like..... make virgil like chco ice cream sdhfbcsdjf

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memoriashell · 4 years ago

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the luck of the draw ( surely is not in her favor )

Characters / Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru ( focused ), ft. ( some of ) Class 78

crossposted on ao3

Notes: day two of @tokomaruweek, i'm combining the killing game and talentswap prompts!! it’s still before midnight i’m totally not late at all here,

featuring my totally not original talent / roleswap luck student komaru au. because creativity is dead and i think komaru being stuck in a killing game is ??? when you think about the fact that komaru canonically sees ghosts. you KNOW she ends up possessed by one of the dead students in the last trial bc someone wants to say fuck you to the mastermind :/ also the fact that syo remembers shit but just never says anything feels like great potential!! they just want to love their partner but toko won’t let them front this is homphobia /j

anyways this au just lives in my wips rent free bc i keep changing my mind on how i want things to play out anyways. so this is more of a concept and not canon to that au if i ever finish it and that's also why this takes place in ch1 so i don't gotta think too hard on the details <3 any talents brought up are the ones i'm for sure sticking with.

tws for touko's general paranoia / anxiety / etc, mentions of murder bc kg au, and also since i usually depict syo as nonbinary with they/them pronouns, komaru’s technically accidentally misgendering them from her pov bc she doesn’t/can’t tell that syo is fronting, in case that bothers you!!

Summary: for being chosen on the basis of luck, it doesn't feel like she's ever going to catch a break here.

It’s quiet, this morning.

Not that she really knows any better— they’ve only been trapped in the school with the murder bear for a few days, after all. So maybe Komaru’s focusing on the wrong part.

It’s less that it’s quiet, there’s a few faces missing that she’d have expected to get there before her. Especially since she’d managed to sleep through her alarm again and had been kind of late; she had fully expected to be greeted with a lecture as soon as she’d gotten to the dining hall. Alright, one person specifically that stands out in her mind, but it hasn’t gone unnoticed by her that Fukawa’s not there yet. Weird, given the moral compass had lectured her for being tardy to meet up with everyone on their first day, and then for sleeping in the first morning, but...given the videos that bear had shown them the previous day, she supposes she can’t blame some people to feel reluctant to show up. Maybe that’s where she is? Going around to check on people? She had seemed a little paranoid that people were skipping out on gathering in the morning on purpose...

( Because she really, really doesn’t want to think about the possibility that Fukawa, or any of her other classmates might possibly be dead. That someone would have actually gone through with trying to kill one another? So she simply won’t think about that fact. It feels kind of like a Pavlovian...no, wait, that’s the wrong person. Uh. Freudian theory? Ah! Schrödinger’s cat. Yeah, that kind of scenario )

Okay, that settles it! She should probably have breakfast first, and if Fukawa hasn’t shown up by the time she finishes, she’ll go see if she can find her. Besides, she’s sure they aren’t the only ones who are concerned about the ones that haven’t shown up. Maizono seemed super nice ( unsurprisingly ), so maybe if she’s still hanging out in the dining hall, Komaru can convince her to help her in her search! Now that she thinks about it, she can probably ask anyone that comes by the dining hall for any leads.

...But why does she care so much in the first place? It’s not like she doesn’t care about the others: even the ones already dead— she can’t place why exactly she feels attached to people she barely knew, but she’s always been pretty sentimental. Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s the way Fukawa seems to try so hard to be close to people in one moment, and then so distant in the next.

In any case, standing in front of the fridge and spacing out is probably far from a good idea, besides the obvious fact that she’s in the way— she doesn’t even notice that someone has decided to take advantage of her distracted state to pull the wool over her eyes. Er, the hoodie of her jacket, technically.

She’s hardly gotten a chance to push the hood back before a hand comes down on her head to ruffle her hair. Or, well, she presumes that is his intention, even if the gesture comes off as more of a light noogie. She puffs her cheeks out in a pout, glaring up while the other smirks down at her. “‘Sup, squirt? Falling asleep on yer feet, or is there another reason yer zoning out in the middle of the kitchen?” The baseball star tosses an apple in his hand like one would with a ball, and she considers lightly kicking Oowada’s ankles in retaliation.

“Just thinking. You probably shouldn’t play with your food like that though.” She responds, and he makes a face at her.

“Ah, so ya do still got something still rattlin’ in that tiny head of yours, good. Worried I knocked everything outta ya.” He teases, reaching past her to open the fridge door. “An’ why would you do that to yerself? It’s still too early in the mornin’ fer that shit.”

“Well...I’m just a little worried. There are fewer people hanging out in the dining hall this morning.” She admits.

He scowls. “Pretty sure they’re just antsy ‘cause of that damn bear ‘nd if any of them have a lick of sense in ‘em they’ll be busy looking fer a way out or somethin’. Don’t worry yer pretty lil’ head about it.”

“...Yeah, I guess.” She can’t help but worry, but her concern isn’t exactly going to help right now, at any rate. Maybe she’ll just find something that she can take with her to eat. “Oh! But speaking of that, did you happen to see Fukawa-san on your way here? I would’ve thought she would have stayed around here this morning, honestly.”

“Her? Mm, yeah, heard her and Ishimaru goin’ at it in the halls earlier—”

“They were what?” Before he can finish his sentence, Asahina’s voice cuts in from behind her, pitch breaking midspeech.

“Fighin’! They were jus’ yelling at each other! N...Not anything weird!” Oowada backtracks in a panic when he realizes how poorly his wording could be misconstrued, even if such a thought never occurred to her. “Jeeze, ya think the Public Morals chick would engage in that shit? Not that I don’t think she might be a bit hypocritical with her rules ‘nd shit but—”

“No! No, I don’t! That’s why I was asking!” Asahina retorts with a huff, and while they bicker, Komaru takes this as an opportunity to slink out of the kitchen with a slice of toast. Unfortunately, Maizono seems to have left in that span of time, but the Clairvoyant happens to be sitting alone, so she figures she might see if she has anything interesting to contribute.

Enoshima opens an eye to stare at her upon hearing her footsteps, presumably, and before Komaru can even greet her, she speaks, monotone. “Four.”

Whatever question you’d planned to say dies in your throat, instead sputtering out a bewildered, “H-Huh?”

“It’s your lucky number for the day.” She sounds bored, as if she’d been stating the obvious, instead of some cryptic statement.

“...Isn’t that the number of death?” She is less certain of herself than she wants to be, ignoring the shiver that runs down her back upon realizing this.

Enoshima grins at that, for reasons she doesn’t understand; cheery voice a total 180 from what it’d been moments ago. “Well, perhaps it means you’ll be having a meeting with death today? Probably about time someone kicked the bucket, someone was bound to snap sooner or later... I’m sure your luck will kick in though, right? But I’ll wish you good luck anyways!”

“Thank you...?” Is that the appropriate response here? She’s not sure, but it’s probably not worth lingering on any longer than she already has, and decides with a rising urgency that maybe she should find Fukawa.

Although, recounting the conversation in the kitchen, she wonders if she should check on Ishimaru as well. Neither of them really struck Komaru as the kind to fight ( with their fists, at least, Fukawa’s mouth seemed set on picking a fight half the time ), so to say she was a little concerned might be an understatement. Given the writer had a tendency to be more openly friendly she could probably get a straight...well, an honest answer from him as to what had happened.

But she wanders for what feels like ages, and doesn’t have any luck ( haha, the irony ) in finding any hint as to where either of them might have gone, and decides to stick to her efforts to find Fukawa first. Ishimaru seemed like the type to be more resilient, so maybe she can catch him around their next meal time. If he didn’t lose track of time again, at least...

Ugh, she’d kill to honestly run into anyone around here. Not literally kill, obviously, but for reasons she’s been trying to keep quiet on, she really hates wandering the halls alone: or most places that they can access right now, to be honest. She keeps seeing this one ghost this one ghost in particular ( or at least Komaru is pretty sure she’s a ghost ), but she refuses to acknowledge her hanging around because that would be weird, and she would like to seem normal and if someone saw that it’d be a hassle to explain.

Fortunately, her search finally turns up fruitful when she finds Fukawa spacing out in the A/V room.

...Unfortunately for her, finding Fukawa earns her a pretty close brush with death. In the blink of an eye, a pair of scissors are thrust against her throat, pinning her back against the moment she steps into the room.

Oh. Uh. Oh god? Was Enoshima actually right about that? Her breath catches in her throat and for a moment, she wonders who would find her if she was killed here. Would they care? What about her parents— Makoto?

Would they sigh and just ponder if she’d ever been lucky at all?

And just as quick, the cold metal is pulled away from where it rests against her neck. “Oh. It’s just you.” The words are spoken with more warmth than she can ever recall hearing Fukawa speak with, which is really weird considering what just went down.

Ever so smartly, Komaru doesn’t actually process what is said to her, and responds with, “Isn’t that technically against the rules?”

A thin eyebrow is raised at her, scissors being tucked away under her shirt. Uh. “No? That’s what they want, right? Or are you so naive that you think that everyone would really follow the rules?”

Well. She’s probably not entirely wrong in thinking that she’s naive, but... “Isn’t, uhm. Isn’t that your thing, though? The rules?”

Fukawa looks startled to have this pointed out to her, for some reason. “Oh, hahaha, yeah. T-Totally! I was just...uh, testing you.”

Okay, now she’s just downright acting strange? Komaru’s willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she’s just acting odd because the videos are weighing on her mind. They are in the AV room, after all. Something doesn’t add up though, but she can’t quite place what it is...

Komaru opens her mouth to ask the other a question, but when she looks back over at Fukawa, her expression has gone kind of...distant? Hazy? She doesn’t quite know how to describe it, and begins to ask if she’s feeling okay when the other girl sort of...collapses into her, arms going around her loosely. She panics a little because that can’t be a sign of anything good, right? Is she feeling dizzy? She’s not passed out, and at least she’s breathing normally. She’s surprisingly pretty light, so it’s not like it’s really an issue to just help support her until she feels better.

The only warning that she gets is the feeling of the other girl tensing up before Fukawa suddenly bolts upright and shoves herself away. Komaru frowns a little, not because of the sudden change in attitude ( if anything, she finds that strangely reliving ), but moreso out of concern, attempting to reach her hands out to help steady her on her feet, but gets her hands slapped away before she can do so. “Don’t touch me.” She hisses.

Okay she’d be lying if she said that didn’t sting, but she can’t help but laugh for a moment. “Ahaha— sorry, I’m not laughing at you. For a moment there, you seemed like a completely different person! I’m glad to see you’re feeling better, Fukawa-san.” If she were more aware of the situation, she might feel more guilty for being unintentionally insensitive: but as she doesn't, she simply misses the way the other looks nervous for a moment while she wonders what that had been all about ( but can’t quite gather the nerve to actually ask ).

“Y-Yeah, real likely story. You just...just came to l-laugh at me in a moment of weakness, r-r-right?” She glares, hands clenched. “I know your type! No one is...is actually that nice w-without some kind of ulterior motive.”

Is that what she actually thinks about me?

“No! I really am glad to see you’re feeling better. You really had me scared there for a minute.” She says sincerely, offering her a reassuring smile. “If you want, I’ll listen to whatever’s bothering you. It’ll stay between us.”

Fukawa scowls, watching her for a long minute with a guarded expression. “There w-was something on the, uh, disc that Monokuma gave you, right? Just like— like everyone else?”

Huh? Well, if this is what it takes to get her trust, then she supposes she can talk about it... “Yeah. It was my parents and my older brother. It’s...kinda scary to think about, honestly. What about you, Fukawa-san? Was it also your family?”

“No. M-M-Mine was blank. Because...because there was no one to choose. Or so he says.” Her jaw is clenched. “Of course, I had to— I acted like I was the same as everyone else, b-because it’d be strange if I didn’t, right? You’d think I was, was working with them or something...everyone would really hate me after th-yhat.”

“Uhm, I’m pretty sure Togami-san didn’t even blink an eye...?” She tries to bring up as a counterpoint, but apparently she has more to say.

“A-A-And before you ask, it’s not like they’re wrong about that, so...so it didn’t surprise me to here it. But everyone got s...something similar, right? All these personal th-things about us...just how much do they really know? How are we supposed to act like, like this is all normal when they’ve got that kind of leverage over us...!”

Oh. She’s shaking— she’s scared. She’s been putting up a front? Komaru puts two and two together after a moment, gently taking the other girl’s hands in her own. This time, she doesn’t get pushed away.

“I’m scared too.” She admits. “Thinking about it like that is scary. But that’s what they want from us, right? To make us scared, so we act the way he wants us to, right?”

Fukawa remains silent, but the conflicted look on her face at least indicated that she was paying attention to her and not ignoring her like she might’ve feared. Komaru squeezes her hands in an attempt to be reassuring. “But you think we’ll all get out alive, right? So no matter what, as long as you believe that, no matter what they might know we’ll be okay. And if you don’t think you can do that on your own, I’ll be right here to support you. So we’ll definitely get out alive, it’s a promise...!”

“You...You really don’t know wh-wh-what you’re saying.” She mutters under her breath, but Komaru takes it in stride with a grin.

“That’s not a no!” It’s not a yes either, but Fukawa doesn’t humor her in further acknowledging the subject: it doesn’t really mater, because Komaru sees a hint of what might be called a smile in her gentle expression.

Yes, at least with one of your peers, you are sure you’ve grown a little closer with today ( and for today, that is a good enough start ).

#tokomaru week 2021 #tokomaru #toukomaru #komaru naegi #touko fukawa #toko fukawa #danganronpa #* zhi writes #listen!! i think thh protag komaru has potential and she deserves those rights

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falseh0od · 5 years ago

Text

Still Standing

wHaT? Me, writing MORE Sanders Sides fanfiction? It’s more likely than you think.

Description: Logan's supposed to be the smartest side, but there were still things Logan didn’t know, and that stressed Logan out. Especially when it came to one specific topic. One little thing. Was there something wrong with them?

Warnings: unsympathetic Deceit, unsympathetic Remus, transphobia, nonbinaryphobia, nbphobia, purposely outing someone, purposely misgendering someone, a little bit of violence (not sure it should even be called that, Roman just pins Remus to a wall and threatens him with his sword to Remus’s neck), a very slightly sexual remark (in regards to Remus, it’s nothing terrible), panic attack, coming out, hurt/comfort, ANGST, self-doubt, self-deprecation, distancing oneself from others

(yeah that was a lot)

Pairings: Analogical and Royality

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22659832

If Logan had anything to be proud of, it was knowledge.

It was, of course, Logan’s purpose as Thomas’s Logical side. Keep everything Thomas knew stored away, and help him learn new things. Logan even knew things Thomas didn’t- especially about stars and space in and of itself. Logan loved space.

But there were still things Logan didn’t know, and that stressed Logan out. Especially when it came to one specific topic. Many recent nights had been spent laying awake wondering about this one thing. One little thing.

Logan didn’t know whether or not it made sense for one of Thomas’s sides to *not* be a cis male, like Thomas himself.

Objectively, it would make sense that every side shared Thomas’s gender and sexuality. Yet since Logan and Virgil had long since figured out that they were both asexual/homoromantic and *not* just homosexual (though Roman and Patton were both homosexual), it was plainly obvious that the latter wasn’t true.

But gender? That was where Logan wasn’t sure.

Which made it all the more confusing that Logan had recently realized that they were nonbinary themselves.

Logan had no doubt in their mind that Thomas was accepting of nonbinary people- for god’s sake, two of his closest friends were nonbinary. But how could one of Thomas’s sides be nonbinary? Thomas was very comfortable with his identity as a cis male. Did Logan’s own identity as nonbinary mean that Thomas might be nonbinary, or was it possible that there was something-

Something wrong with Logan themself?

It hurt them to consider that possibility, especially since they felt obvious pangs of growing dysphoria whenever one of the other Sides referred to them as a male. Of course, there was no way they could know that Logan was nonbinary, so they weren’t at fault, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

Logan had started shutting themself off more than they had before, mainly to avoid the inevitable misgendering. They knew it hurt Virgil to see them this distant, but Logan was confused and conflicted. They desperately wanted to tell their fiancé what was wrong, but they were also terrified of Virgil pushing them away in response.

Because even if Virgil accepted Logan for who they were, there was no guarantee Virgil would still love them. Virgil was homoromantic- at least, that’s what Logan expected. Would Virgil still love them?

All these thought processes had been what lead to Logan currently lying on their bed, wide awake, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars taped to their ceiling, at three in the morning.

This was not a new thing. Logan had been having many late, sleepless nights between their internal crisis and doing their normal duties for Thomas.

Logan let out a sigh and closed their eyes in an attempt to fall asleep. They had to sleep eventually, and they hoped tonight would be that night.

“You do know that isn’t going to do you any good.”

Logan’s eyes snapped back open as they recognized the voice almost immediately. “Deceit,” they called out dryly. “What are you doing here?”

Deceit hummed. “Why am I here? Logan, out of every side, I would expect you to know. You are supposed to be the smartest after all.”

“I am the smartest,” Logan grumbled.

“Hm. Then how are you so conflicted about such a simple issue?”

Logan sat up in bed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Deceit laughed. “Oh, of course, you don’t. It’s not like I can tell when Sides are lying, anyway.”

Logan’s mouth went dry.

Deceit pulled at his gloves. “Don’t have anything to say? Understandable. Just as understandable as you thinking that it’s even remotely viable for any of Thomas’s sides to have a different gender than him. I mean, I definitely didn’t have my suspicions about the sexuality issue, but Remus isn’t the most sexual out of all of us…”

“Shut up,” Logan replied hoarsely. “I could never expect you to share the same opinions as everyone else.”

“Ah yes, but you forget that I can’t tell when Sides lie.”

“Deceit.”

“They’re definitely going to accept you, Logan. Virgil will absolutely love you for who you are. They won’t cast you out for having a different gender than Thomas.”

“DECEIT!” Logan grabbed one of their pillows and threw it as hard as he could at the lying side, who promptly disappeared before it hit, then reappeared a few feet away.

Deceit just smirked. “All I’m saying is, you won’t be miserable for the rest of Thomas’s life. Everything is going to be fine.”

“Get out,” Logan muttered.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you…”

And he was gone.

Logan sat in bed, unmoving, not even bothering to pick up their pillow.

It was going to be another restless night.

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At around 7 am the following morning, about an hour before Patton was likely to wake up, Logan dragged themself up and out of bed. Better to get breakfast now and avoid any unnecessary interactions while they could.

They had decided to try and be a little less reclusive that day, just to try and lessen the concern the others were obviously feeling towards them. It wasn’t going to be the easiest thing, but they admittedly missed Virgil and wanted to try and enjoy some time with him. They were supposed to get married in a couple of months anyway, and while most of the wedding planning was ready to go, they knew there were going to be things Virgil would come up with that would need to be addressed.

Of course, Logan had things they wanted to have addressed, but those were things that would require them coming out first. Which wasn’t exactly a viable option. Especially after… Deceit.

Deceit had been speaking in lies. Which meant that the opposites of those lies were true, right?

Logan was even more terrified of coming out now than they had been before.

They felt like crying. All of their desperate desires contradicted themselves. They wanted to spend time with Virgil, but they didn’t want to be consistently misgendered. They wanted to come out, but they didn’t want Virgil or the others to push them away.

Logan tried their best not to think about that as they went down to the kitchen, thinking instead of the things they had to get done today for Thomas. They had been focusing more on work lately than ever before, so… there was less work to do.

Which meant more time to stress over personal problems.

Logan trudged down the stairs, fully expecting the kitchen to be empty.

They were instead met with the sight of their fiancé sitting on the counter, legs pulled up to their chest, eating a granola bar.

Logan froze, fully intending to quickly move back up the stairs, but Virgil saw them before they could.

Virgil’s eyes lit up. “Lo! You’re actually out of your room!”

Logan swallowed down the lump in their throat before they replied. “Indeed. I apologize, I’ve been rather busy lately.”

Virgil frowned, slowly moving off the counter. “Yeah, but you’re busy all the time, and yet you always have made time to do other things- like, ya know, date nights.”

“I know, Virgil, and I am sorry. A lot of things have come up.”

“Is it anything I can help you with?”

God, I wish. “Not really. It’s… stuff that I have to handle.”

Virgil didn’t look convinced- if nothing else, more concerned. “Lo,” he said softly. “It almost seems like something’s been bothering you lately. We can all tell.”

“I assure you, Virgil, everything’s fine.”

It was then that Logan noticed that Deceit was suddenly standing a few feet behind Virgil, and the color drained from their face.

“He’s definitely telling the truth, Virgil.”

Virgil turned around so fast he almost fell over. “Deceit. You have no place in this conversation.”

“As I’ve told your dashing future husband, I definitely cannot tell when one of Thomas’s Sides is telling a lie, Virgil. And since Logan is not blatantly lying to you, I can see how I don’t have a place in this conversation.”

“If he is lying, it isn’t your place to tell him when and how he should tell me the truth,” Virgil growled.

“Even if he’s hurting Thomas in the process?”

The air went silent. Virgil stiffened, and Logan thought they were going to pass out.

“Logan would not purposely hurt Thomas,” Virgil snarled. “I don’t know what kind of bullshit you’re trying to make me believe, but again, I know my fiancé. He would never hurt our host.”

Logan clamped their hand over their mouth, willing the tears poking through their eyes to go back where they came from.

Deceit just laughed. “You keep telling yourself that, Virgil. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Deceit sank out, and Virgil glared at the spot the Side was standing before turning around.

“Lo!”

Logan was pale, shaky, and about to collapse. Virgil moved forward to support the other before their legs completely gave out and they fell to the ground.

Virgil sank down with them, pulling Logan into his chest. “Breathe, Lo. Breathe.”

A whimper escaped Logan’s mouth as they buried their face in Virgil’s chest. Virgil held them close as the singular cry evolved into wet sobbing.

“Let it out, starlight. You’re okay,” Virgil whispered, slightly taken aback at his partner’s sudden breakdown, but ready to comfort them all the same. “Do you wanna move to your room?”

Through the sobs, Virgil felt a nod against his chest, and he carefully sunk the two of them out and into Logan’s room.

The anxious side was not at all expecting the state of Logan’s room to be what it was. Their bed was askew, papers were scattered all over their desk, and their bookshelves were overflowing and not at all organized as they usually were.

Something was definitely wrong.

Virgil decided not to focus on that at the moment though, instead focusing on consoling his partner, whose cries were beginning to die down a little. He carefully kept the Side held close, murmuring gentle reassurances as they sniffled and let out shaky breaths.

After they finally had calmed down enough, Logan pulled away, hands pressed against their eyes as they wiped away the residual tears.

Virgil put his hands on their arms. “Lo, what’s wrong?”

Logan sighed and ran their hands over their face again. “I can’t- Virge, I-”

The lump in their throat threatened to start the whole process of breaking down all over again.

Virgil wrapped his hand around the back of Logan’s neck. “Hey. Hey, look at me.” Logan managed to bring their gaze up to meet Virgil’s. “Lo, whatever it is, I’m not gonna judge you for it. You can talk to me, okay? I love you, no matter what, and I can help you figure this out.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more certain in my life. I want to help you.”

Logan’s hands started shaking, and Virgil took them in his hands, squeezing them encouragingly. Logan swallowed, trying to suppress the butterflies swarming around their stomach.

“I…” Logan managed to start. “I believe…”

Virgil squeezed their hands. Logan let out a shaky breath.

“I believe that… I am nonbinary.”

Virgil’s eyes widened, and Logan felt like their heart was going to stop beating.

“Lo,” he whispered. “Oh, Lo. That explains everything, doesn’t it?”

Virgil pulled Logan into his arms again, and Logan stiffened slightly but leaned into the touch.

Virgil ran his hand through Logan’s hair and took a deep breath. “Lo, listen to me, okay? I don’t quite know how the others are going to react to this news, especially after seeing how Deceit clearly thinks. But I am going to love and support you no matter what. You’re valid, and just because Thomas is a cis guy doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be nonbinary. You’re not hurting him or any of the rest of us. In fact, I hate the fact that you’ve been hurting yourself over this.”

Logan was choked up… again. They buried their face in Virgil’s chest as the tears starting flowing for the second time that morning.

Virgil just held Logan against him as the Side finally let themself let out emotions they had been pushing down for weeks as they had worked through this personal crisis. The anxious Side pressed kisses occasionally against their head as tears even worked their way out of his own eyes as he realized just how much pain his fiancé had been in.

Logan moved before they had even calmed down, hooking their chin over Virgil’s shoulder as they pressed closer to him, wrapping their arms around Virgil’s chest. “I thought I was going to lose you,” they whispered tearfully. “I thought you- I thought you would-”

Virgil carefully pulled the side away from him just to lean forward and catch their lips in a careful yet impassioned kiss.

After they pulled away, Virgil leaned his forehead against Logan’s. “I would never,” he whispered. “I could never. I meant every word I said when I got down on one knee that night.” Virgil found Logan’s hand and ran his fingers over the ring on their ring finger. He placed his other hand on Logan’s cheek. “I love you for who you are, and I always will, Lo.”

Logan then took the opportunity to initiate a kiss this time, one that lasted a few seconds longer than the last before Virgil gently pulled Logan back into his arms again afterward. The other side, now thoroughly exhausted, leaned against Virgil’s shoulder.

“So,” Virgil murmured. “Pronouns?”

“They/them,” Logan whispered hoarsely in response.

“What would you prefer me to refer to you as, in terms of our relationship? Like, spouse? Partner?”

“Partner is fine.”

Virgil nodded, pressing his face against the top of Logan’s head. “Is there a different name you wanna use?”

Logan didn’t respond at first, but then, “I- I have been thinking about that, and truthfully, I do not mind Logan. Besides, it is also the representation of who I am as a Side… and I do appreciate how well it goes along with Logic.”

“Mmm. Yeah, I agree.”

Logan just sighed and relaxed even more into Virgil’s hold.

Virgil swallowed. “What… what do you want me to do in front of Roman and Patton for now?”

Logan paused, then slowly pulled away from Virgil. “I… I am not sure,” they admitted quietly. “I now need to re-evaluate whether it would be a logical choice to tell them…”

Virgil bit his lip in thought. “In my opinion… I don’t think they’re going to care either. Again, it’s hard to tell when Deceit is our only comparison… but it’s also Deceit. He’s kinda an ass.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“The only way we’re going to know how they feel is by flat out telling them, Lo. You don’t have to do it now, but there’s no way we’ll be able to tell before you do.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Logan wiped their eyes. “I think… it’s better to rip the metaphorical band-aid off.”

Virgil grinned. “Idiom.”

“Indeed, I have been doing a slight bit of research.”

“Proud of you.”

Logan blushed furiously, and Virgil laughed.

However, taking in the appearance of his partner more than he had before, Virgil came to a startling discovery.

“Lo,” he murmured. “Starlight, you look exhausted. How much sleep have you been getting?”

Logan grimaced. “Not enough.”

“Define ‘not enough’.”

“Maybe… 4 or 5 hours on good nights,” they responded weakly. “On bad nights… none at all.”

“How many bad nights have there been?”

“Too many…”

“Was last night a bad night?”

Logan just nodded, eyes flickering closed. Virgil sighed and pulled them into his arms. “Alright then, sleep first, then tell Pat and Ro.”

“Agreed.”

Virgil carefully helped Logan stand on wobbly legs, and then lead them over to their bed. “Want me to stay with you?” Virgil asked.

“I would very much prefer that… how much sleep did you get last night?”

Virgil winced. “I think I fell asleep at like… two. And woke up at 6:30.”

“You should sleep too, then,” Logan nodded as the two of them climbed into Logan’s bed.

“Yeah, you’ve got a point.”

Logan practically collapsed as they laid down. Virgil pulled them into his chest and they nuzzled into him.

They were asleep within minutes. Virgil relaxed to the feeling of his partner’s chest rising and falling rhythmically.

Virgil then decided it would be smart to let Patton know that the two of them wouldn’t be up and around for a while, and pulled out his phone.

Hey, Pat, neither Lo nor I got very much sleep last night so we’re gonna try and get some right now.

Oh, thank goodness, I’ve been worried about him. Is he doing okay?

Virgil winced inwardly as Patton used the wrong pronouns, but he digressed. Patton didn’t know any better yet.

Yeah, everything’s good now, or will be. It’s just been a rough few weeks.

Poor Lo. Do you know why?

Yeah. Not something I can discuss right now. Trust me, everything’s gonna be okay. Lo will tell you when the time is right.

Sounds good, kiddo. Is he asleep right now?

Yeah, it didn’t take too long.

I’m not surprised. I’m glad you’re there with him. How much sleep did either of you two get last night anyway?

Four and a half hours between us.

How much of that was him?

Do you really want to know?

He didn’t get any, did he?

Correct.

Oh, poor kiddo. We’ll let you two sleep as long as you need, okay?

Thanks, Pat. Talk to you later.

You too, Virge. Sleep well!

Virgil turned off his phone, set it aside, and leaned back into Logan, appreciating finally getting to hold them again after a few weeks of them holing themself away.

He too fell asleep within minutes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Patton let out a soft sigh as he turned his own phone off and put it down on the counter beside the stove. He was making pancakes and was relieved that Virgil had texted him about the fact that he and Logan were going back to bed before he had really started the process. Saved him from making too much batter!

As he started pulling out the various ingredients he needed, he heard someone clumsily make their way down the stairs. He turned around right as Roman, still in pajamas and with a bad case of bed head, stumbled into the kitchen, stretching and yawning.

Patton giggled. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

“Good morning, my Prince,” Roman murmured, coming over and catching Patton for a kiss. “What’s for breakfast?”

“Pancakes.”

Roman nodded, then squinted at the bowl. “That doesn’t seem like a whole lot of batter.”

“Yeah, Virgil and Logan are getting more sleep. It seems like neither of them slept too well last night.”

“Oh, is the Microsoft Nerd finally opening himself back up again?”

“Hopefully. It seems like he’s been having a rough time lately, but Virgil must’ve gotten him to talk about it.”

“Mmm. That’s good.” Roman hopped onto the counter a few feet away and stretched again. “We can call this a date morning, then.”

Patton smiled. “I would love that. Why don’t you set the table, then?”

“Will do.” Roman hopped off the counter and started rummaging through the cupboards, bringing out their nicer plates and silverware. Patton hummed softly as he finished making the batter and then starting pouring it onto the pan in front of him.

As he finished with the pancakes and turned around, Patton gasped softly at the setup on the table. Roman had added flowers and candles to the setup of plates and forks.

“Aww, Ro,” he gushed. “That’s so romantic.”

“It is my specialty,” Roman grinned. He had managed to get his hair to settle some but was still in pajamas. Not that Patton minded, of course.

The two of them sat down at the table and talked as they ate their breakfast. It was a peaceful and quiet morning, and they couldn’t have asked for anything more.

As they finished up, Roman stood up and grabbed their plates, bringing them over to the sink to do the dishes. Patton pulled out his phone and started checking a few things.

Suddenly, their peaceful, quiet morning was very suddenly interrupted by a very unwanted guest.

Remus suddenly popped into existence, sitting at the table across from Patton, where Roman had been sitting only a moment ago.

Remus stretched and yawned, and both Roman and Patton jerked their heads to look at him. Roman’s face quickly dissolved into one of disgust.

“What a morning!” Remus groaned. “It’s too early for this kind of nonsense but Deceit promised me several tubes of Pickled Poo Logs for this.”

“Get out, Remus,” Roman growled.

“Aw, Ro,” Remus pouted. “You’re no fun. Don’t you wanna hear the news I have?”

“Do you really think I care?”

“Maybe you don’t, but I know Padré over here might, especially after that conversation he had with Virgil earlier.”

Patton stood up from the table. “That’s none of your business.”

“None of my business? Hey, if deodorant is on the line, anything’s my business.”

“Remus, get the fuck out,” Roman snarled.

“Not until you two settle down and hear me out.”

“Why should we?” Patton demanded.

“Because your logical friend is hurting our host, and while I typically don’t care about that kind of thing, Dee Dee does and so here I am.”

Patton narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean, Logan’s hurting Thomas?”

“He thinks it’s appropriate for him to be nonbinary when Thomas is a very happy cis guy and-”

Before Remus could continue, Roman had summoned his sword, charged at Remus, effectively pinning his brother against the wall of the kitchen with his sword to his neck.

Remus looked Roman in the eyes and smirked at the fury rampaging through them. “Oh, what’s the matter, dear brother? Did I hit a nerve?”

Roman was almost too pissed off to speak but managed to find his voice. “Our host is a gay man,” Roman snarled. “You, out of all people, should know how damaging it is to purposefully out someone else. Did Logan give you permission? Because I’m guessing not.”

“You know me so well. In fact, Logie didn’t even tell me that information directly. You can thank Dee Dee for that.”

Roman slammed Remus back into the wall again, pressing the sword into his neck more. “You have no place to be sharing that information. Now get the fuck out before I decide to actually use this damn thing.”

Remus held his hands up in surrender, and Roman backed up slightly, only enough to give the Side room to sink out while still being able to pin him down if he needed.

And as soon as Remus was gone, Roman turned back around to Patton, who was looking pale.

“Do you think-” Patton started, looking Roman in the eye. “Do you think that’s why Lo has been so… reclusive?”

“If Remus was telling the truth, then I’d say yeah,” Roman sighed, his sword vanishing from his hands.

Patton didn’t speak for a few moments. “Ro… what if he thinks we… we wouldn’t support him? What if he-”

Roman moved over and took Patton by the hands, looking him in the eyes. Patton looked back up at him.

“Then we’ll make sure he knows we do.”

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The first thing Logan noticed when they finally woke up again later that day, was that they felt much more refreshed and awake than they had in weeks.

Logan slowly sat up, glancing over at their clock. 3:04pm. They had slept for 7 and a half hours. That was more than they’d gotten that every night that week combined.

The second thing they noticed was that Virgil was no longer laying in bed with them.

Slight panic ran through Logan at that revelation. What if he decided to leave me? What if he doesn’t actually support me? What if-

All the anxious thoughts went away as soon as they caught sight of Virgil sitting on the edge of their bed, staring down at his phone.

But as soon as Logan noticed that Virgil’s hands were shaking, worry came crashing back down on them.

“Virge?” Logan called softly. “What’s wrong?”

Virgil didn’t respond at first, but then finally turned around so Logan could see the look on his face.

Virgil was furious.

“Lo,” he started, surprisingly calm. “How are you feeling?”

“Better now,” Logan responded slowly. “But what’s wrong?”

“I think it’s better for you to just read what Patton just texted me. Here, start with the conversation we had earlier.

Virgil handed Logan his phone, and Logan started reading over the texts.

Virgil caught the exact moment Logan finished reading the texts from that morning and started reading the conversation he and Patton had been having just then.

Because Logan’s face went completely pale and they started shaking worse than Virgil had been.

Hey Virge… we had a surprise visit from Remus a few hours ago.

Wait, what? What happened?

He popped in while we were eating breakfast. He said some stuff that he really shouldn’t have about Lo.

What. Did. He. Say.

That Logan thinks he’s nonbinary, and that Lo was hurting Thomas as a result, which obviously isn’t true.

Logan dropped the phone on their bed. “Oh god,” they whispered. “Oh, god, Virge.”

Virgil knew the signs of an anxiety attack when he saw them, and he was now seeing them in his partner as their breathing started getting erratic and the shaking got worse. Virgil quickly moved over, taking Logan’s hands in his.

“Lo, hey, hey. Breathe. Breathe with me.” Virgil squeezed Logan’s hands. “Breathe.”

Logan was struggling with that one simple task, and they began to feel faint.

“Lo, I’m gonna have you lay down again, okay? I need you to focus on me.”

Virgil carefully helped them lay back down, keeping them on their side. Virgil put their hand against his chest.

“Okay, Lo, can you try and match my breathing? I’m gonna walk you through the breathing exercise, okay? In for four.”

Virgil counted softly as he also went along with the exercise, trying to help Logan calm down. The other Side barely managed to follow along.

“Hold for seven.”

He counted, noting that Logan let out a wheezy breath at 5 seconds in. Tears were streaming down their face. “That’s alright, starlight. You’re okay.”

The two of them ran through the exercise several times, and slowly, Logan’s breathing went back to relatively normal. The tears continued to fall through the entire time.

As soon as Logan had mostly recovered from their sudden panic attack, they squeezed Virgil’s hand, and Virgil carefully helped them sit up.

“You good?” Virgil asked softly.

“As good as I could be,” Logan whispered, their voice shaky, tears still present in their eyes.

“I’m going to murder Remus on your behalf.”

Logan laughed shakily, but it didn’t seem very genuine, more bitter. Virgil pulled them into his arms again.

Logan put their head on Virgil’s shoulder. “I wasn’t even certain I was ready to tell them,” they whispered tearfully. “Remus took- he took that away from me.”

Virgil rocked back and forth gently. “I know, Lo. He was so incredibly out of place he was standing a mile away from where he should’ve been. Deceit was in the same spot.”

They were interrupted by a soft knock on Logan’s door. Logan pulled themself out of Virgil’s arms, and Virgil gave him a look that said ‘It’s your choice.’

Logan raised a trembling hand, snapped, and the door creaked open.

Patton and Roman were standing in the doorway, concern etched on both of their faces.

“Sorry, Virge,” Patton murmured. “You just hadn’t responded to my text and we got worried.”

“It’s fine, Pat.” Virgil squeezed Logan’s hand.

Logan was avoiding the gazes of the other two sides. Patton bit his lip. “Can we come in?” he asked softly.

Logan nodded.

The two of them walked in, and Roman quietly shut the door behind him. They sat down on the bed on either side of Virgil and Logan.

Patton carefully put his hand on Logan’s shoulder, giving them the opportunity to pull away if they needed. Logan didn’t move.

“Lo,” Patton murmured. “You don’t need to tell us right away if what Remus told us was true.”

“But we both want you to know that we’ll be here for you no matter what,” Roman added. “Your gender doesn’t change that. You’re still family.”

“And you are not hurting Thomas by being nonbinary,” Patton insisted softly. “No matter what Remus or Deceit says.”

Tears pressed at Logan’s eyes, and Patton summoned a box of tissues and held them out. Logan took one and pressed it to their eyes.

“I know,” Logan whispered. “I know. And… you both deserve to know that Remus was not communicating a falsehood. I am nonbinary.” Roman took one of Logan’s hands from Virgil. “I was planning to tell you this afternoon anyway if I could work up the courage.” Another bitter laugh. “At least I don’t need to worry about that anymore.”

“Remus shouldn’t have told us that information without your permission, Lo,” Roman murmured. “One would expect that he would understand at least that much.”

Logan grabbed another tissue from Patton as they lost control of their tears. Patton set the tissues aside and pulled Logan into a hug. Virgil and Roman both joined, surrounding them on all sides with warmth and love.

Logan cried for a good, long while, more than they had yet that day (which was saying something). Their famILY didn’t let them go the whole time, just holding them close.

When Logan was ready, the others released them from the tight hug, letting them regain their composure. It took a few minutes and about five more tissues before they managed to speak up again.

Logan took in a shuddery breath. “Thank you,” they whispered. “I- I cannot thank you all enough for being accepting.”

“Of course, Lo,” Roman took their hand again. He then suddenly perked up. “Ohana! Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten. You’re ohana, Lo. You always have been. We’d never let you down.”

Logan actually let out a genuine laugh this time at the Disney reference. Patton smiled and took ahold of their other hand. “And it’s a good thing you actually are coming out because otherwise, the cake I made would’ve been for nothing.”

Logan gave Patton an incredulous look. “You made a cake?”

“Yeah! Even though it was an exceptionally unconventional coming out that wasn’t even on your own terms, it still deserves to be a celebration, because that’s what coming out is! A celebration of you!”

Logan grabbed another tissue. “I- thank you, Patton,” they whispered.

“It’s my pleasure, Lo. Now, important question- what are your pronouns?”

“They/them. Though I still am gonna go by Logan.”

“That sounds magnificent, and while I may slip up a few times at first, I’ll try my best to adapt,” Roman declared, getting off of the bed. Logan nodded. “Now, I declare a famILY movie night tonight. Logan gets first pick but I already have several movies in mind for afterward.”

“Oh, god,” Virgil muttered.

“What? I assure you, they’re appropriate for today’s celebration.” Roman then walked out of the room, singing ‘Show Yourself’ from Frozen 2.

“I do hope he does not intend to pirate that movie, I would not appreciate Thomas going to jail today,” Logan muttered.

“Don’t worry, kiddo, I wouldn’t let him if he did want to. He can wait a few more weeks for it to come out on DVD.” Patton also stood up, a smile on his face. “I’ll let you two get ready for the day.”

“Thanks, Patton,” Logan nodded as the moral Side also left the room.

Virgil and Logan then looked at each other. Virgil reached his hand up and wiped away some of the tear tracks still on Logan’s face.

“That went better than I expected,” Logan confessed softly.

“Besides the Disney reference, yeah, I agree.”

Logan snorted. “Hey, at least it was actually relevant.”

“Yeah, we can give him that.” Virgil stood up and held out a hand, helping Logan up as well.

Logan stood up, leaned into Virgil, and gently kissed him. Virgil happily kissed them back.

“God, I can’t wait to marry you,” Virgil murmured afterward. “My amazing, incredible nonbinary partner.”

Logan furiously blushed. “I concur,” they agreed.

The two of them then began to prepare for their day- well, evening at this point. Despite the slight dread over exactly what movies Roman would be choosing, Logan was honestly looking forward to enjoying the time with their famILY after closing themself off for so long. They would be reminded again and again just how lucky they were to have all of them. The evening would be filled with cake and spaghetti, Big Hero Six and Love, Simon.

Yeah, maybe there were some things Logan didn’t know. But now… now they were certain that their family would love them all the same, no matter what.

Cause it didn’t matter what anyone else thought. Logan was Logan, and Logan was happy.

And as long as they knew they weren’t hurting anyone else in the process, they could embrace that.

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fyrapartnersearch · 5 years ago

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Hello, hello! This is the first time I’ve put something out like this- ANYWAYS, my name is Vy. I’m 22 (turning 23 pretty soon), I go by pronouns they/she, I’m in an MFA Creative Writing program, I'm in the EST time zone, and I love, love roleplaying. Been doing it on-and-off for six years on Tumblr now and writing for ten years now. This summer I’m generally going to be free, but when I’m in school you can expect at least one response a week from me. After doing indie rp for years, I’d like to try my hand at 1x1 rp and maybe to find a long term partner I can write with as well!

I’d prefer it if my partner(s) were also 21+ since I tend to write about the darker aspects of life.

Okay, now onto the RP stuff:

Style: Honestly, I like to think I’m pretty flexible? I personally prefer multi-para (200-500 words) and para threads, but I also love the occasional spontaneous RP that can happen through the chats. Para threads I’m more likely to respond to more frequently than multi-paras though. Writing can be exhausting.

I’m OC/OC interactions only. Not really comfy with writing canon characters.

Communication: It’s a necessity :D I usually find having some kind of a friendship with the other person does wonders for my inspiration. I tend to be kind of shy though, but don’t let that stop you from coming into my messages!! We can talk about anything although at the beginning I’m more inclined to keep the chatting more to rp plots and character headcanons until I get comfy. I will note though, there are days and times when I just won’t be up for chatting- when that happens, I might disappear for a day or two. I promise I’ll get back to you in 24-48 hours max. I’ll be patient with you. This is a hobby after all.

If any problems arise or something makes you uncomfortable or even you’ve just lost interest in a plot, please, please talk to me. I’m always open to critique and will appreciate it if you give me some. Ghosting hurts too.

Plotting: I love, love plotting! Even though this is a hobby, I do get very enthusiastic about epic storylines and memorable characters and character arcs. If we plot something out though, please know I’m expecting us also to write it out whether it’s formally or informally. I’m really looking for someone who has that same enthusiasm and consistency. I’d say I’m more of a few plots but deeper development kind of writer. Also I really like doing angst. Well, a balance of angst and fluff.

Ships: Ships are pretty great- that being said, I’m here for chemistry and development first. I’m here for build-up and as far as I’ve seen my characters, I tend to be more on the slow-burn side of things. I personally am more comfy with M/M and F/F, but I’ll do the occasional M/F too. Nonbinary and trans muses are more than welcome too. I also love, love doing platonic and familial ships too. PLEASE I’LL GIVE MY RIGHT LEG FOR THAT GOOD PLATONIC SHIT.

I can double! Well, I’ve never done it before, but I have had multimuses with muses of all genders and ships of all kinds if that’s counts for something.

Characters: So I have a lot of pre-made OCs already with character arcs I’d love to write my way through. But within the plot, the most important thing for me is character development based on interaction. When it comes to making muses, I do tend to be more on the slower side, but on the flip side, those muses will have extensive backgrounds. If you’re looking for someone to help you with exploring the full depth and possibilities of a character, please sign me up! Please note also, all of my OCs are queer and a majority are POC. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, misgendering of any kind will not be tolerated.

While I do have faceclaims for my characters (and the ones I’d make), it’s not the most important thing to me. I’m here for content and personality.

Smut: I can do it- actually I’d be looking for ways to improve my smut writing. That being said, I’ll only do it if it contributes to the character and plot development. We can also always just fade to black as well. In terms of positions, I’m more used to writing the ‘submissive’ role, but consider me a switch. A lot of my muses are switches as well.

Limits: A hard no on rape scenes, non/dub-con scenes, incest (that includes relatives who are not related by blood), and toxic relationships. They can be referenced and alluded to in the past though.

Genre: I’m not really a high fantasy kind of person. I can do urban fantasy though- for the most part, my main focus is going to be character interactions, character dynamics so you might say my cup of tea is generally slice-of-life with a hint of magic thrown in. But I’m always down to try new things- except for high fantasy, I apologize.

Basically: Urban Fantasy, Supernatural, Slice-of-Life, Historical- the important part is that it’s character driven.

Plots: At the moment, I’m kind of sucked dry, but I’m more likely to be down to try whatever you throw at me! Or just introduce me to your OCs- I’ll most likely want to introduce mine and we can go from there!

Fandoms: I know I said I’m not comfy with writing canon characters, but it doesn’t mean we can’t throw our muses in those universes! Fandoms I’m familiar with include:

Shadowhunters, Harry Potter, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles, ATLA, MCU, Harvest Moon, Fire Emblem, Studio Ghibli, and Pokemon. I’ll list more if I think of any.

Method: I’ll do discord, email, or Google Doc! Maybe in the future I’ll try my hand on Tumblr as well again too.

Congrats, you made it through the whole thing. If you’re interested, please hit me up either on discord or by email- I look forward to writing with you all!

Sincerely,

Discord: letscallitvy#0074

Email: [email protected]

#oc rp #multiple paragraph #para #long term #email #submission

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bunnyblooms · 5 years ago

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OKAY FUCKER ALL THE QUESTIONS FROM THAT ASK MEME THE LGBT ONE

1. Identity and pronouns.

I'm agenderfluid and they/them pronouns. My sexuality is aroflux and asexual.

2. How did you discover your sexuality?

Pretty much at 14 was like "idk i don't relate to everyone else i don't find celebrities hot or sex remotely something i want. If i could reproduce without sex i would. Oh. I'll just call myself asexual, like a sponge!" (Which asexual is incidentally what the creators of Spongebob were going for, fun facts. Spongebob is ace rights.)

3. Have you experienced being misgendered? How do you overcome it?

Mmmm I am constantly misgendered bc I'm nonbinary and live in a binary society and the way I compartmentalize it is basically just dressing how I want and not making an attempt to pass as anything tbh. The only time I feel misgendered is when someone knows my pronouns and doesn't use them anymore tbh. So basically. Letting go of how I want to be perceived helped. I will say tho, I refuse to come out to my dad bc he won't respect it and it'll be more painful hearing him misgender me knowing how I identify, but. That's certainly a privilege I have since I'm not transitioning. (ATM at least.)

4. Who was the first person you told? How did they react?

I technically didn't come out as ace. My ex-best friend knew bc I talked about it, but neither of us knew it was an identity. So the transition upon finding the label was virtually nonexistent and all of my friends were LGBTQ as well so it wasn't stressful or shocking. It helps that around the time I discovered the label I'd met two friends who were ace and felt the same way I did. My experience with my asexuality is definitely the model that should be the norm with the community and what we as a society should aim for.

As for my gender I'd made comments in the past that I wished I could just be genderless and it really kind of sat with me when my ex-best friend came out as trans bc I was like "Oh? You don't have to be the gender you are at birth?" Belial from Angel Sanctuary was a character that resonated with me at the time, and this was right around the time I made my ace friends. It wasn't until a year later that I discovered the nb community and one friend who was genderfluid that I decided to start trying different pronouns. And basically I came out as questioning and transitioned to nb without a formal declaration, which I also feel should be the goal for society.

I was at a con with my best friend at the time who was trans and he'd come out with my now ex-best friend while they were dating. And I was really anxious bc I felt like ppl would assume I was a transtrender and shit, and my friend said something about gender and I kind of awkwadly implied I might not identify as female and he was really great about it! He was like "If you wanna talk about it or try different pronouns you can." :D

5. Describe what it was like coming out.

I pretty much did this im question 4 hehehe.

6. If you're out, how did ppl react?

I'm not out to family, that I know of. They found my facebook which has my identity listed in my about, so I'm in limbo with them where none of us talk about it so idk if they register it as an LGBTQ thing or not.

My friends were all supportive! It helps that I have like no cishet friends lmao.

I also came out to my class on TDOV two years ago for a project where we step outside our comfort zone. I'm luckily in the social work program which has social justive built into the tenants of the profession so it was pretty positive! People still misgendered me after and were more concerned with "but i'm scared of ppl getting angry at me what should i do to talk about this with them" which. 9__9 Not surprising. But there was a mom whose kid and her kid's partner are both genderfluid and bigender so it was a good experience and I had an ally which made me comfortable in sharing it in the first place.

7. What is one question you hate ppl asking about your sexuality?

Inevitably when I say I'm ace, non-aces assume I have no interest in dating which. Way to conflate being aroace with ace and ignore that there are aros and aces who want relationships. That's my biggest pet peeve.

8. Describe the style of clothing you often wear.

I wear flannels and ripped jeans or shorts mainly. I basically dress like a butch lesbian. I'll wear dresses and stuff but I do not like dressing femme and prefer to offset softer things with hard things. Like. When I wear dresses I have to wear clunky combat boots with them or have short hair or something.

9. Who are your favorite LGBTQ+ ships?

Hmmm. Depends if you mean canon or not. Canon, it's probably FigAyda from D20 and Catradora from She-ra. Shion/Nezumi from No.6 is also one of my faves. There's also Chie and Ai from Virgin's Empire. Blupjeans from The Adventure Zone and JonMartin from The Magnus Archives.

As for Not Confirmed ships, I like Flick/CJ from Animal Crossing, Tsuna/Enma from Katekyo Hitman Reborn, uhhh. Reigisa from Free!, Kanji/Naoto from Persona and Chihiro/whatever the fuck his name is Mondo? Or the other guy I forget, from Danganronpa. Also RenLaw, RenStrade, and VinceLaw+VinceFarz from BTD.

(I am including straight relationships involving trans ppl obv.)

10. What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?

I hate how I look with make up it makes me dysphoric. But to me makeup is a good expressive outlet and bomb as hell, so when I do wanna wear makeup, I prefer wearing eyeliner and lipstick (esp in black or blue or green or purple) and glitter.

11. Do you experience dysphoria? How does it affect you?

I experience what I refer to as Silhouette Dysphoria a lot. I experience chest dysphoria but a lot of times it's less about me having them at all and me not liking how I look with them. The same goes for my hips and overall shape. Hence silhouette. I also experience genital dysphoria to a lesser degree, and when I do it's less hating my genitals bc they should be different but more just having any at all. Luckily I was born with internal genitalia so I don't have to think about it as much. Social dysphoria I also experience, but I've talked about that already.

How I deal with it is binding and stuff.

12. What is the stupidest thing you've heard said about the LGBTQ+ community?

Hmm. The ppl who genuinely argue that accepting the community means you'll be forced to accept pedophilia or beastiality. Like. Lmao no?

13. Favorite thing about the community?

I just love how great it feels to be in it tbh. It can be so positive and loving and just genuinely make you feel good about yourself.

14. Least favorite thing about the community?

Exclusionists.

15. Have you ever been to your city's pride event?

No, but I went to Pride in Des Moines!!! IT WAS GREAT!

16. Favorite LGBTQ+ celebrity?

I don't really follow celebrities, but probably Ian McEllen and Tim Gunn.

17. Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?

I was in a relationship for a while with a friend of mine and it was wonderful tbh. We met in a server and started talkng more, and started out as qpps then became partners and like we broke up, but I still enjoyed the experience and wouldn't go back in time and stop it from happening. My other qpp tho. That's something I would do lmao.

I also have a bf but that's a secret~

18. Favorite LGBTQ+ book.

I haven't read a lot of books, so I guess I have to say The Raven Cycle bc that's the only one I remember reading.

19. Have you ever faced discrimination?

Mmmm the only time I have experienced direct discrimination I was giving a friend valentines chocolate in high school and some kid called me a d*ke when i walked past him.

The other stuff is like. My therapist telling me to check for a hormone imbalance when I said I was asexual.

20. Favorite LGBTQ+ movie/show?

She-ra, "To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything", The Runaways (the movie not the show), No. 6.

21. Favorite LGBTQ+ bloggers?

I don't have any lmao.

22. Which slur do you want to reclaim?

Queer, bc it's already been reclaimed and it fits me.

23. Have you ever gone to a gay bar or drag show? How was it?

Nope. Never, but it'd be fun!!

24. How do you idrntify your gender?

Already answered this lol.

25. Interested in having kids?

Nope. I'd be too scared of screwing them up.

26. What identity service would you give your younger self?

I wish I'd known there was an ace community before I was older tbh. So that, probably.

27. What do you think of gender roles in relationships?

I personally like playing a feminine role, but I also think gender roles are unecessary, so like. As long as I'm an equal I don't care what role I play lmao. If you wanna treat me like the handmaiden, as long as you're not doing it bc you see me as a woman I don't care.

28. Anything else you wanna share about your gender?

Nah. Just. I don't bother trying to pin it down anymore bc the more I analyze it the less I understand it.

29. Something you wish ppl knew about being LGBTQ+?

Hmmmm not really. It's fun outside of the systemic oppression?

30. Why are you proud to be LGBTQ+?

For me it's less about pride in being LGBTQ+ and more being proud to express myself authentically. 🤷

#lemonadelyric #lgbtq ask meme #long post

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courtiersarevalid · 6 years ago

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could i get something for the two nonbinary courtiers please? valdemar and vulgora, maybe with a nb apprentice. either way i would really love some positivity about my identity. thank you!

of course! thanks for sending this in! i didn't know if you wanted a headcanon set or a scenario, so i did an hc set for each of them. if you'd like a scenario, feel free to send another ask! 🖤🖤🖤

• valdemar completely understands your trifles. before they had made that deal with the devil, they had dealt with their fair share of being misgendered.

• they give you reassuring compliments every now and again, able to feel empathy about this subject.

• while they don't exactly enjoy showing much emotion, they do let their friend know that what they're feeling is nothing to be ashamed of, at all.

• they want to be the person they wished they'd had.

• vulgora has never had much troubles with their identity at all, their home was too busy with battles and wars to have any room for ridicule.

• they will shower you in validation, trying to lighten your mood; you're much more fun when you're happy and confident.

• honestly, they have the funniest gender neutral pet names for you. consider: partner in crime, beetle basher, chaos cutie.

• if you are looking for positive energy, they're chock full of it. they might be a bit loud and violent, but they mean well. they care a lot about you. you and all your wonderful self.

#anonymous #monstrous musings #pontifex vulgora #vulgora #valdemar #quaestor valdemar #the arcana

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sanders-sthetis-and-fics · 5 years ago

Text

Dee’s Coming Out

Send Me A Prompt | Prompts

Prompt: Imagine Person A of your OT3 coming out as transgender to their partners and being petrified. B and C are extremely supportive. A counts themselves lucky to have such amazing partners. (Prompt from @ot3-promptz)

Pairing: Analoceit (w/ nonbinary Dee)

TW: Accidental misgendering, panic attacks, crying

Word Count: 1,210

Summary: Dee is finally going to come out to their boyfriends as nonbinary. Only a little stressful.

@im-a-space-gay I know you had asked to be tagged in any Analogical or Analoceit fics I write, so here you go!

Side note, I suck at titles!!

Dee always loved date night. Every Friday they would meet up with the two loves of their life, Logan and Virgil, and could just let everything go. Dinner, movie night, star gazing, anything and everything was a possibility on Friday nights. Dee loves date night.

And yet they have never felt so much dread waiting for the knock on their door as they had that night. Because this was it. This was the night they were going to come out.

Tears streamed down their cheeks as they stared down at the clothes on their bed, tugging the jacket tighter around themself. Logan and Virgil were going to be here any minute to take them to dinner and here they were, unable to stop the crying or catch their breath. They knew it had to be done, they had to tell the truth, but that didn't make it easier. Dee the terrified of losing the two loves of his life but they couldn't keep lying.

A broken laugh slipped passed their lips.

They couldn't lie.

A knock pulled them from their thoughts. It was time. Dee slipped the jacket off and grabbed their binder and a loose shirt they were pretty sure was Virgil's before leaving their room. They stopped just in front of the door, tugging on their shirt and rubbing the tears away. Not that it would do much good.

Dee has seen how fast their two boyfriends can change properties. Usually on days when Virgil's anxiety is acting up, or when Logan has a meltdown due to sensory overloads, or when anything happens to Roman or Patton, but it isn't something that typically happens because of Dee. Out of their strange friend group, Dee was often seen as the calm one, even with his lying habits and tendencies to be as extra as possible. So watching Logan and Virgil's face immediately shift to worry was something Dee was used too.

Virgil had quickly picked up on the signs of the panic attack Dee had been on the verge off for the past few minutes and was already acting. Both moved into the apartment, Virgil shutting the door behind them before leading Dee back to the couch while Logan went to grab one of the blankets they would use during movie nights.

Virgil was talking to them but Dee couldn't hear anything he was saying. The weight from the blanket Logan had draped over their shoulders was comforting. Dee snuggled more into the navy blue blanket, trying to calm down. What was the breathing technique that helped Virgil calm down from anxiety attacks? Breathe in for 4 seconds... help for 7 seconds... out for 8 seconds...

"That's it Dee... deep breaths, you got this." Virgil's soothing voice encouraged them. Blinking the remaining tears from their eyes, Dee glanced around at their situation. He was tucked against Logan's chest, his arms wrapped securely around them while Virgil was kneeling in front of them, holding their hands tightly. The brief thought of the ruined date night crossed their thoughts for only a second, disappearing the moment Virgil smiled up at them.

"There's our snake."

Dee smiled weakly, sticking the tip of his tongue out at Virgil in response to the nickname. The smile action washed away most of the tension in the emo's shoulders as he let out a sigh of relief.

"Dee."

Now it was Logan's turn to talk. And they all noticed how Dee tensed up again at his voice. Dee hated it. They didn't want to upset their boyfriends but they also didn't want to answer the questions that were bound to start coming. Dee had planned on telling them tonight but not like this.

Logan shifted, loosening his arms from around Dee as Virgil climbed onto the couch and pulled Dee against his chest.

"Dee," Logan started again, the shift allowing for him to keep eye contact with Dee as he kept talking. "We are here for you, just as you have always been here for us. And while these kind of attacks are not new to us as a group, for as long as we have been together, you have not suffered an attack like this. We only wish to help you."

"Did... did we do something?" Virgil whispered, burying his face in Dee's chocolate brown hair.

Dee quickly shook their hair. No, the last thing they wanted was for Virgil and Logan to begin blaming themselves. "N-Not at all, storm cloud." They all took a deep breath; two in relief and one in preparation. "I worked myself up thinking about tonight. I had something to tell you two."

Logan raised an eyebrow at the confession, lacing his fingers with Dee's before kissing their knuckles. "You can tell us anything, Dee."

Dee didn't bother trying to stop the new tears that were gathering in the corners of their eyes. This was it; the moment of truth.

"I'm nonbinary."

The few minutes of silences felt like torture to Dee. They were seconds away from begging them to say something when their head was tipped back to look at Virgil.

Watery black eyes met bloodshot gray ones.

"How long have you known?"

Of all the responses Dee had prepared themself for, that had not been one of them. Dee blinked as they gathered their thoughts. "A few months?"

A sob slipped from Virgil just as Logan gasped, both of them wrapping their arms around Dee.

"We're so sorry... we've been misgendering you for this long, it's no wondering you finally snapped. Oh, Dee."

They were okay with it. They weren't upset. Dee curled between their two boyfriends, all crying and clinging to each other.

----

"So what pronouns do you want us to start using for you?"

Once the three of them calmed down, they had moved to the kitchen for dinner and to talk things out. Logan was finishing up cooking while Dee and Virgil sat at the table.

"They/Them pronouns have the best fit," Dee replied, fiddling with the blanket they still had wrapped around their shoulders.

Virgil nodded just as Logan sat down their plates and took his seat. "Do you want to tell the others as well, or do you want to wait? I know not being open can upset you, but we don't want you to overwhelm yourself."

Dee smiled, poking at their food for a moment. "I don't mind telling them. I want them to know. Not to mention, Patton would probably start crying even more than you two did if he finds out that I waited to tell him."

The other two chuckled, nodding. They all started to eat in comfortable silence, planning on sending the rest of the night snuggling on the couch as they watched a movie or two.

Within the next two days, they would meet up with the rest of their friends and Dee would explain their identity and their pronouns. And just as they had predicted, Patton would cry just as much, if not more, than Virgil and Logan had.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #analoceit #romantic analoceit #tw deceit sanders #nonbinary deceit #my writing #prompt fic

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danilanidingdong · 4 years ago

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My partner was targeted by a predator - a small NYC director.

Please be aware that the following writing discusses kink, LGBTQ+ issues, assault, misgendering, and other topics that are generally not feel good issues. It is in regards to how my partner was treated. She’s read this and given their stamp of approval on posting this. Not because we want folks to feel bad, but because we legitimately want to warn people about a predator.

I’d like to start this off with some personal information. Typically in a situation like this, individual details aren’t necessary, but in this case, I believe it’s important to form a foundation.

My partner and I live quite happily and openly under the queer umbrella. We also function very vocally in kink circles. We don’t believe in kink shaming. We have no qualms with strange kinks. As long as everyone involved consents, we have zero issues.

It’s the consent thing that was recently violated when my partner was assaulted by a so-called director for a short film.

My partner was using a casting website with a very professional reputation (Netflix and Stars have used this site), and she was contacted by a small production company in response to seeing her resume.

The short of it was that this director was looking for LGBTQ+ folks for his social commentary werewolf short films. My partner was so excited, showing me everything that this director sent her. What I was shown was short, but seemed fine. It appeared to be a small budget production company, and the script was nothing to write home about, but honestly it didn’t seem like a bad start. And it paid! The casting website even gave him a neat little verified check to assure performers that they’d been vetted by the site.

The more she talked to the director, the more excited she got. Finally! Someone that wanted to make awesome werewolf content that focused on queer communities! She was excited to show the director what she already had from her costume closet for werewolf makeup and fangs, and he seemed excited to work with her. He suggested possibly using contact lenses, along with some minimal makeup and light use of prosthetics.

When she arrived at the shoot, though. She was met with only the director. No team. In his parent’s empty apartment. Instead of the fake nails that he had explained to her in the interview, he informed her that they would be going to a salon and getting acrylic nails put on. This isn’t necessarily a problem, but anyone who’s had acrylic nails applied knows how difficult (read: impossible) they are to get off quickly. Fake stick-on nails (which he said would be used) are cheaper, and in an emergency, can pop off rather quickly. Acrylic nails are typically an investment of both time and money. Seriously, if you’ve never had them, ask someone who has. Those suckers don’t budge.

But the director didn’t make a big deal out of it. My partner wasn’t very experienced in the film industry, so she took his word for granted.

My partner then spent two hours at a nail salon near the apartment, and while everyone around her was getting French tips, she couldn’t help but be a little embarrassed by the six inch claws that the nail technician was crafting. When some of the other salon customers asked, she proudly informed them “It’s for a werewolf movie!” - in an attempt to save herself from some embarrassment. But the director cut her off, and said “No, don’t tell them that.”

Once the nails were on, she realized that she couldn’t use her hands for anything. Her dexterity was destroyed with these huge, thick claws, and she relied entirely on the director for any fine motor skills.

Still, nothing seemed off. She would film this short scene and be done. When they returned to the apartment, he told her to put contacts in. She expressed discomfort. It was already very difficult for her to function with the nails, would it be possible to try filming without the contacts?

No. She had to wear contacts.

They had this conversation in his bathroom, where he blocked her with his body from leaving the bathroom until she agreed to wear the contacts.

Because of her nails, the director had to put the lenses in for her, and once they were in, she noticed something else that was a little off.

She could not see with the contacts in.

She now relied entirely on this director for even basic functions, but even then he did not provide her with what she needed. She was not given water at any time during the entire 8 hour filming.

He started asking extremely uncomfortable questions as soon as she was physically unable to leave.

He noted that her resume indicated “nonbinary” as her gender, so he asked plainly, “So that means you have both right? Both sets?”

She was taken aback, and he was rather crestfallen when she explained what nonbinary meant, and she steered the incredibly inappropriate conversation away from her genitalia.

Which he kept bringing up. Repeatedly.

He talked frequently about the character that she was playing, and made her very aware that after her werewolf transformation, her character had “both sets of genitals”. Information that would be important for an actor, sure, but the way he brought it up and discussed it was entirely sexual.

He told her “Let’s just do some improv, no script.”

When he started asking her to touch him with her nails, she realized that she was filming a fetish video.

That was when she shifted into survival mode. He continued trying to make sexual conversation while they filmed, but she would shut down his advances in any attempt to get out of the vision blocking contacts quicker. She felt trapped, unable to leave due to her inability to see or hold anything.

The director mentioned, while filming, that the concept of my partner growing a penis during her werewolf transformation was “getting him hard”, and he kept insinuating that her actions were causing him sexual arousal. She mentioned having a partner as a defense strategy, and he asked if she (in other words: me) would be interested in bringing that partner around in order to shoot a lesbian scene.

In addition to this, he openly spoke of his work with other performers, and it became clear that he was using this casting site to find LGBTQ+ performers in order to find very specific people for his fetish work. It was only then that it became clear that he was looking for trans folks for his performances, in order to act out his fetish. He kept the information quiet during the talent scouting phase, but specifically sought out individuals under the LGBTQ+ umbrella for sexual reasons only, not actual inclusivity. It was only driven home by the near constant misgendering of his previous performers that he frequently spoke about. He told my partner he was trying to create inclusive media. He spoke at length regarding his obsession and sexual fetish for women with penises. The wording he used was dated at best, and offensive at worst.

There was so much, little pieces that my partner remembers from that day as she recovers, things like how he mentioned stopping people on the street to take pictures of their nails, how he worked with a lot of adult entertainers (and misgendered them frequently), and worryingly, minors. Things that on their own wouldn’t raise eyebrows, but when put together becomes a rather disturbing depiction of a predator.

Had she not been on her toes and aware of the situation, my partner doesn’t doubt that this director would have tried to push her boundaries further. He asked her to sensually touch her chest with her nails, and focused on the importance of the ASMR - or the sound the nails made. She skirted the sexuality as best as she could, keeping things professional until she could leave - not that he had earned professionalism after lying to her, but she was simply trying to get him to remove the nails and contacts as quickly as possible.

Afterwards, he requested an exit interview. Desperate to leave, she wondered if she could film it at home and send it to him. He refused, and added that he would only clip the end of her nails so she could leave if she did this exit interview. When he deemed the interview over, he forced her to behave in a bizarre perky way before he would clip each nail, even when he was told that the force of the nail clipping was painful. What was left behind were jagged, thick acrylic stubs that were still difficult to use, but not as difficult as the full nails.

Now, let it be said, neither of us have any issues with fetish videos. So long as everyone involved consents. However, my partner was utterly unable to consent. She was lied to about the project itself, and everything involved with it. This wasn’t a production team, it was a solitary director with a camera who wanted to film sexual gratification videos.

And the pay?

Well, the nail technician who applied the nails got a total of $145, including tip.

My partner received $100, and as she left he put in an additional $20 for her to “get the nails removed at a salon”.

Not only was my partner lied to, but she was then physically kept under this director’s control with the nails and contacts that he made her wear. She was unable to leave, and continuously harassed and asked wildly inappropriate questions by someone who was claiming to be an ally, when in reality, he was a predator. He seeks out LGBTQ+ performers in order to film them for his own sexual exploits under the guise of creating inclusive characters and stories.

The lies are where consent is no longer possible. Because of this, my partner filed a complaint and he was removed from the casting website. That being said, we’re still concerned that he won’t stop at that, and will only move to other spaces. He already admitted to using OnlyFans to find performers, and his open conversation about hiring minors has left it hard to sleep at night. Again, absolutely nothing is wrong with minors in film, but judging by the way that this man refused to be open about the nature of his work, it’s a parallel that I’m uncomfortable just leaving without an attempt to stop it.

Part of the healing process has been going public with this experience. I’m never one to speak on behalf of someone, but writing clearly about your own trauma can be harrowing, which is why I offered to write this on behalf of my partner.

If this production company continues to hire performers, they need to be transparent with their intentions. Not another human being should feel so manipulated and helpless after being assured that they would be doing something positive for the queer community.

Please share this. Please spread this. Please do not let another individual suffer the way that my partner unfortunately has. The production company is called Exiram Productions. They’re easy enough to find on youtube, but I cannot stress enough that what is available there is not at all any indication of what was actually filmed the day my partner experienced this harassment. His secondary company that he works under is called Were-Creature Videos. That particular production company is what my partner filmed for, but she was originally approached by Exiram Productions, and was given absolutely no indication about the sexual nature of filming.

If you’re in the NYC area, please be careful of this person who is seeking out the queer community in order to fetishize them without their consent.

Happy Pride.

Eat a brick, Alexis.

#cw: predator #cw: assault

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e-the-village-cryptid · 4 years ago

Text

Hello wonderful mutual! I’m so glad you asked!

The thing is, there’s no “official” way to be a feminist. Feminism is an ideology with the actions to back it up. You probably already know this, but I think it’s important to mention, especially if you’re discussing feminism with people online: there are two main groups of people that call themselves feminists.

The first group, the real feminists, believe in equality and justice for all genders. Because women are generally behind men in most rights and protections, a lot of that means working for women’s rights, like closing the pay gap, getting more women into STEM fields, etc. Then there are the issues that affect women and AFAB trans and nonbinary people, like reproductive healthcare and menstrual hygiene. There are issues that affect all genders, like domestic violence protections, and there even are issues that affect primarily men, like equal visitation rights for children of divorced parents. Also, it’s very important to protect the most vulnerable people in our community: trans women, women of color, and especially trans women of color. True feminism is intersectional, meaning we work for the rights of the most marginalized people within our community, not just cis straight middle class white women.

The second group believes all AFAB people are the victims of all AMAB people. You probably know this group as TERFs. They also call themselves radfems, radical feminists, and gender critical. They (incorrectly) believe that men can’t be feminists (except trans men, who they see as “female”). They are especially hateful towards trans women, who they see as “men trying to evade women’s spaces.” There’s a lot of transphobia and also racism in many of their views. They often believe men are inherently evil, abusive, and disgusting. But you have to remember: This group is a small minority of “feminists”. They make a lot of noise online, but that doesn’t mean we need to make concessions to them or allow their hateful views to make their way into mainstream feminism. That doesn’t mean they don’t have an impact— they often team up with transphobes outside of their TERF circles to pass laws like the recent UK anti-trans laws. Understanding how they manipulate people, especially teenage girls, into believing their ideology and spreading their hate is the key to keeping the spread of their bigotry at bay.

So what can we do? For you, as a young teenager, you’re probably not able to be donating to any organizations or working for any activist groups right now. (If you do happen to get the chance to safely go to a rally or march, then by all means go! It’s just less likely especially considering the current pandemic situation and all that.)

For now, though, there are two main things you can do: educate yourself and speak out. It looks like you’re already starting on that first one! If you want to learn more about feminism, there are plenty of resources online that can tell you much more than I can. You can also look online for people sharing their favorite feminist youtubers, such as For Harriet. Educating yourself also means you can help educate others.

As for speaking out, this mostly means standing in solidarity with women and trans people and being prepared to speak up for them if necessary. Someone misgenders a trans classmate? Politely correct them. A teacher or classmate says something sexist/racist/queerphobic, even as a “joke”? Be respectful, but explain why that was offensive. Speaking up is a really difficult thing to do, but if we all stand in solidarity with each other, we can have a big impact. (By the way, this doesn’t apply so much online. Arguing with TERFs, misogynists, transphobes, neo-nazis, etc. just gives them a platform. Block them, report them if they’ve violated the community guidelines, and move on.)

You can also examine feminism in your own relationships— if you start dating someone, are you both equal partners in that relationship? What do your parents think about these issues/who are they voting for? Could you talk with them about it?

This got really long but I hope that was a good start for you! If anyone has any additional information to add or corrections to make on anything I said please do so!

Hello my wonderful mutuals (who are probably all older+wiser than me), I’m a little late to the party but how do I become an “official” person-that-helps-fight-against-toxic-gender-divides-that-have-been-screwing-up-the-world-for-far-too-long? How do I help? :3

#intersectional feminism #feminism #by the way beez if terfs find this I think you have to be the one to block them to keep them off this post #since you're op

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mysplaced-pen · 8 years ago

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This might be a bit heavy but: headcanons for the RFA ++ with a nonbinary mc on a day they just want to run into the hills and scream because on that day they are feeling super dysphoric and being misgendered all over the place? Feel free to choose how out MC is to the characters (from not even out to their partner to out to all of them and it's all coming from other people.) Sincerely, an anxious nb person who is to scared to come out to even people they know would be accepting.

hi there, anon! sorry this took a while, but thank you for trusting me with this request! i’ll try my best to do this right. and know that it’s alright that you’re not ready!! take all the time you need. how you feel is what’s important and you can come out whenever you feel ready. or if you don’t want to, you don’t have to! ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

the rfa++ and i love you~ hope you like it!

zen

they were really uncomfortable at first, especially with zen

it wasn’t entirely his fault since they never met before and seven introduced mc by what was on their records

so, yeah. the rfa had been misgendering them for a week now

thing is, mc never told them they were nonbinary

they knew it wouldn’t be a problem - they all knew seven was genderfluid and all of them were totally accepting

but they didn’t yet

and now they were on their way to zen’s house

they were glad for the chance to see him and cheer him up, but they weren’t prepared for the misgendering that was bound to happen

the worst part is that they were already feeling super dysphoric

maybe they’d tell him tonight….or maybe not

too late to think more about it, they pulled up to the house

zen opened the door, automatically smiling, “mc!”

maybe they wouldn’t

but then zen started calling them “princess” which was a really cute nickname, but it did not ease their dysphoria at all

it was on the roof that they broke

zen told them his life story, about how he felt about their connection

and about how “men are wolves, including me, and that he didn’t want to ruin a cute girl”

mc couldn’t handle it anymore and just went, “but im not a girl”

*cue zen’s confused stare* “what-” “i’m not a guy either, zen”

he’s relieved, but more confused. “what do you mean, mc?”

“i don’t- those terms-” *sigh* “i’m nonbinary. i don’t identify as either a girl or boy and being called one by all of you has been driving me crazy-”

zen takes their hand, “oh my gosh, i’m so sorry mc! we’ve been making you feel uncomfortable this entire time! you don’t have to tell the others if you don’t want to, but i promise i’ll still do my best to cheer you up.”

mc is kind of surprised

“oh, uh…do you use ‘they/them’ pronouns?”

mc is even more surprised, but nods

“alright, just making sure, love” immediately switches nicknames what a catch

he refers to them by their proper pronouns for the rest of the night, doesn’t use princess as a nickname anymore, and when he does mess up, he feels so bad and apologizes 10 times minimum

yoosung

people knew mc was nonbinary, but the rfa didn’t know

the ‘but im not a girl’ option in the prologue? yeah.

so all this misgendering mc was really starting to get to them

they’ve thought of telling the rfa, but things have gotten so weird with zen breaking his ankle, to the stalker, plus the hacker

mc thought it wasn’t the right time

but one day, they couldn’t take it anymore

it was the day yoosung asked them to be his ‘pre-girlfriend’

they called him right after that

“oh, mc! i was just thinking about you..” he said, making mc smile

“hey, yoosung. i was thinking about you too. and i, uh, i have to tell you something”

“anything, mc.” “can you please not call me your girlfriend?”

oh wait. there might have been some misunderstanding there…

“oh…o-of course. i mean, now i’m kind of glad i asked in a ‘pre’ way..”

“no no no, i still want to date you, yoosung! that just came out wrong-”

“..then what did you mean?” “i meant, i don’t like the term ‘girlfriend’. i’m non-binary.”

there’s silence for a bit before yoosung speaks again

“you scared me! I thought I made the biggest mistake of my life!”

“oh my god, that’s not it at all!”

“of course i won’t call you my girlfriend! do you like ‘partner’ better? or…’date mate’?”

“hm..i’m not really sure, actually..”

“no no, i got one” “what is it, yoosung?”

“i’ll call you ‘my love’.”

jaehee

today was not the day for this

the cafe was loaded today, it was one of their biggest days of the month!

but all these new customers meant all these people saying “thank you ma’am” and “hello miss!” to mc

which didn’t really get to them on a normal day, but they were already feeling the dysphoria since this morning

and it was really slowing their progress

which is how jaehee noticed something was wrong with them

she was walking over to ask mc about it when she heard the person they were serving speak, “have a nice day, ma’am!”

ah, that’s it.

during their break, jaehee pulls mc to the side and smiles. “let’s go outside, hun.”

mc nods and they go outside first

jaehee meets them with a pastry to share and two water bottles

“it’s busy today..” mc says, taking the water bottle from her

“it is. which is good for business..but not for you, huh?”

mc looks up at jaehee, who sits beside them

she leans over to kiss mc’s head

“i know you, sweetheart. do you want to take the rest of the day off?”

“jaehee, i can’t do that. and i can’t leave you, either.” “mc, we own the cafe. it’s alright. the others can handle the work.. you’ve trained them well”

mc smiles and the two go back inside, jaehee telling the staff they were going home. mc wasn’t feeling well. and they understand

as they walk out, one of the employees calls out to them, “feel better, mc! you amazing person!”

jaehee grins. mc feels a bit better already”

jumin

mc was terrified of telling jumin

he was so exposed to the press and they weren’t ready for the questions that were bound to come

but all of jumin’s staff - and jumin - kept calling them ‘she’ and ‘her’

and all of this misgendering was driving mc crazy

at this point, they wanted to yell at the staff members. but they didn’t deserve that

so they went to Elizabeth

“Elizabeth, do you think it’ll be such a big deal? will the press start more rumors? will jumin…i don’t know, change his mind about me?” they asked, petting Elizabeth

they got a ‘meow’ in return

“he would, wouldn’t he?” they sigh

“why would i change my mind about you?” jumin says and mc turns around

“honey-” “what’s wrong, mc?”

well now they have to spill. jumin won’t let this go

“….can i get a glass of wine first?”

jumin is actually more curious than anything

he asks a bunch of questions. about pronouns, if they’re really comfortable with all the dresses he bought them. what really makes them feel dysphoric, everything.

it ends well, but there’s still the press to worry about. though jumin says that’ll be a process. as for the staff, mc says they’re willing to come out to them

the next day, mc goes to the office with jumin. and they’re a reasonable distance away from jumin so he asks one of the workers

“can you call my spouse over here?” the worker is like, “…your wife, mr. Han?” “no, my spouse.”

mc hears him and smiles

707 / luciel / saeyoung

the door closed with a slam, followed by a loud groan from mc

saeyoung spun his chair around. “bad day, 606?”

they walk over to him and he stands up to be engulfed in their hug

“i’m tired of people calling me a girl.” they mumble into his shoulder

he smiles sadly and strokes their hair

“ah, one of those days.” he says

“yeah..I feel like just running and screaming it out, you know?”

“we could do that, you know.”

mc looks at him confused, but he’s dead serious

so they get in one of his cars and saeyoung drives them to a secluded place

they both get out of the car and saeyoung gestures to the empty field

“run and scream to your heart’s content, hun~”

so…mc does.

they run to the middle of the field and just yell it out

“i wish people would stop misgendering me! i’m nonbinary, for christ’s sake!”

and they fall to sit on the ground

saeyoung walks over to them, clapping. he sits beside them

“you feel a little bit better?” they nod and move to put their head on his shoulder

“it sucks sometimes.” “you don’t need to be out now..you can be out whenever you’re ready. and we can start small.”

v / jihyun

they were out on a date, just walking around and stopping by whatever place caught their attention

and all kinds of people were misgendering mc.

they did when they bought something, were welcomed into the store, leaving the store.

and mc was trying to have fun with jihyun, but all this was getting to them

they kept moving closer to jihyun, their dysphoria growing

he noticed pretty quickly and pulled them to whisper in their ear

“let’s go home, angel.”

when they get home, mc sighs. “i’m sorry, jihyun”

“there’s nothing to apologize for, i want to make sure you’re comfortable.”

“but you can’t go up to everyone who talks to me, love”

“i can if i try hard enough.”

jihyun please

“but for now…i can make you a cup of tea and tell you how much i love you. that you’re the most wonderful person i know…”

mc starts blushing. “V-” “yes, my nonbinary angel?”

“jihyun-” “just you watch, my love”

he keeps true to his word, with mc’s consent of course, and tells everyone who talks to mc

saeran

“ah, there she is. rfa’s princess.” he says, after breaking through the window

mc visibly winces

“don’t worry. i won’t hurt you..for now. i’m here to take you to paradise.”

“no, that’s not it at all, look-”

lmao mc isn’t even scared

“what?-” saeran starts to ask

“can you maybe not…refer to me as a princess? and not use ‘she’ pronouns?”

saeran blinks. “what?”

“i’m nonbinary.” “….can you explain that?”

they end up having a talk in the apartment instead of saeran taking them anywhere

and saeran learned a lot. he understands, asks questions, and makes sure he’s getting their pronouns right

“…have you told the rfa?” “….no”

“i’m sure they’ll listen.” “weren’t you supposed to take me somewhere?”

he stands up and shrugs. “I can come back. give you time to think about if you want to tell them first.”

mc decides to test him a bit. “come back for rfa’s ‘princess’?”

saeran smiles and shakes his head. “no…I’ll come back for rfa’s savior”

and then he leaves

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger hc #mysme headcanon #zen mysme #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #jumin han #707 #saeyoung choi #jihyun kim #saeran choi #anon #a request!#i hope i did alright ^^;

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