#try to guess who my fav ghoul is

[con-clavi-con-jae]

☆Ghost Headcanons: Era 3 Ghoul edition☆

Alpha and Omega are brothers. Don't ask where it came from, they just are. Omega is the oldest, Alpha is the youngest, but he really doesn't want others to know that

Mist, Omega, and Ifrit were extremely close with Terzo and between each other for a long time since they were Terzo's personal ghouls (sort of like bodyguards/assistants, that kind of thing)

Ifrit actually taught Dew to play guitar after he left the band

Air is the oldest ghoul in the Clergy, and Omega is the second oldest

Cowbell was the first ghoul that Sunshine befriended after being summoned, and they're pretty much best friends. They meet up a lot, gossip abt the others and pull pranks on the band ghouls. Special joins them sometimes

Literally every woman in the Clergy wants Mist. Everyone is shocked and no one knows how she does it

Ifrit gives nicknames to everyone he likes. He often calls Dewdrop "little dude", and also the reason why Zephyr goes by "ChAir" most of the times is bc Ifrit started calling them that

Mist does everyone's nails, and helps Ifrit with his eyeliner

Omega did Terzo's face paint all the time. It was their favorite pre-ritual "ritual" (yeah I should've found a better way to phrase that...). Terzo did it by herself when they were on tour after Omega left the band, but it's not the same for him

Alpha and Water have a very close friendship, which is weird since if anyone saw the way they are together you'd think they hate each other, but yk, water and fire things

[endless-weightless]

Nameless Ghoul NSFW headcanons

Got Ghost tickets and now I’m gonna be autistic about this band. Also kinda on the shorter side because I’m SO BUSY rn but the autism will pull me through 💪

CHARACTERS: Swiss, Rain, Sodo, Aether, Mountain, Phantom, Omega, Ifrit

TAGS: Smut, reader insert, BDSM, monsterfucking?, afab and amab!reader, lingerie, marking, switch!reader I guess?, switch!Swiss, soft dom!Mountain, mean dom!Omega

🌙Swiss

Kinky. We know this. He’s willing to try just about anything you’re comfortable with.

His personal favourite kinky things include bondage, spanking, gags, some dynamic play, marking and a sprinkle of dacryphilia.

He’s such a power switch and I will not listen to anyone who disagrees. Sometimes he wants to dick you down and sometimes he wants to be dicked down. Is that too much to ask for?

REALLY FUCKING LOUD. If you’re making him feel good he’s letting everyone know.

“Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck~ baby if you don’t slow down I’ll cum- fuck!”

Has absolutely no shame walking around covered in hickeys, bite marks and scratches.

Swiss gets unbelievably horny when you touch his horns, like something in him snaps when you touch them.

Prefers cumming on you rather than inside you, like you’re a canvas and he’s the painter.

Don’t bully him he’ll cum :(

Nah but seriously, if you call him a slut at least once and pull his hair he’ll absolutely melt.

🌙Rain

Pretty vanilla compared to Swiss, but has his kinky moments.

Prefers sex to be romantic, so expect lots of kisses and hand holding.

Speaking of hand holding, he squeezes your hand when he cums. He just loves you so much and you’re making him feel so good.

Has cried on one or more occasions. It could be because he’s so in love or maybe because he just has a really sensitive cock-

Absolutely adores fucking in the shower or even outside in the rain. He loves it when you two are both in tune with his element and it just makes him feel safe being in water.

Doesn’t let out pornographic moans but rather soft gasps and grunts and if you’re really fucking him good then he’ll start whimpering the closer he gets to cumming.

Speaking of cum, he loves cumming in you and just having you cockwarm him (or the other way around). He also moans an “I love you” when he does so.

“I love you so much darling- oh satan.”

Always looks so goddamn pretty when he’s all fucked out and exhausted.

🌙Mountain

My fav ghoul 💜

Gives me soft dom vibes, but not crazy on kink or bdsm.

He’s fucking huge and uses it to his advantage.

Likes watching you squirm when taking him. The bastard will just watch you struggle as you try to fit all of his length in you while he just sits there doing fuck all.

Loves watching you ride him. If you have tits he’s automatically hypnotised by then jiggling as you bounce on his cock.

If you get too tired or overstimulated to keep riding him he’ll instantly flip you over so he’s on top of you and he’ll just pound into you at whatever pace you need.

Mostly grunts when you two are fucking, but he isn’t shy about moaning in your ear when he cums.

So much praise. Like a fuck ton of it.

“Look at you, taking me so well. You’re doing such a good job.

If you’re ever stressed he’ll instantly suggest a solution that involves his face buried between your thighs for the next hour or so.

Endless cuddles when you two are finished. He’ll have you wrapped in his arms until you’ve fallen asleep.

🌙Omega

Good LORD those fingers.

Mean dom. So mean :( (but very rewarding when he thinks you’ve been on your best behaviour)

I reckon he’s pretty well versed in the bdsm and kink world. Maybe even to the point where bdsm is part of his actual lifestyle outside of sex.

Fucks you absolutely silly and then mocks you when you’re too overstimulated to say a full coherent sentence.

If he’s feeling too lazy to actually fuck you or he’s busy he’ll beckon you over to him and have you sit on his lap while he fingers you into oblivion or jacks you off until you’re shooting blanks.

Goes feral when you moan his name, or just say anything along the lines of you belonging to him.

Cums where he wants, as long as you’re comfortable with it.

Not incredibly loud unless you’re sucking him off, then he’s getting a little slutty because he knows how turned on it gets you.

“Oh yeah~ use your tongue just like that darling. Fuck .”

He LOVES bending you over and pounding into you until you’re crying. He’ll even give your ass the occasional slap and moan an “atta girl/boy”.

🌙Sodo

Every time you moan his full name “Sodomiser” he instantly starts panting like a fucking dog.

Gets progressively hornier the more you feed his ego.

Likes nipping at your neck and wrapping his tail around your thigh when you’re fucking.

He tries stay quiet but ultimately ends up a whimpering mess when he cums. He doesn’t even have to be subbing, he just kinda whimpers regardless 🤷‍♀️

I feel like if you were about to suck him off he’d lightly slap you in the face with his dick because he thinks it’s hot 😭

Let you use a vibrator on him one time and he came so hard he was scared to let you use it on him again. He uses it on himself occasionally though.

“Nonono wait don’t turn it up I’ll- ngh~”

Like Swiss he loves cumming on you, bonus points if it’s your chest, ass or face.

One time you pulled his tail during sex and he let out such a load and sinful moan you had to pause before going back to fucking and then teasing him because of it.

🌙Aether

He’s hot and he knows it, the cheeky bastard.

Likes it when you caress his muscles. Fair enough though, if I was that buff I’d want everyone to touch my big strong biceps-

He loves just randomly picking you up and manhandling you.

If you’re a pillow princess or prince you’re in luck because he’ll do all of the work as long as he gets to hear you whimper his name and look at your pretty face.

His favourite thing to do is to buy you lingerie and the rip it off hours later. Sometimes if he’s feeling a bit silly n goofy he’ll buy it one or two sizes too small so he gets to see your tits and/or ass spill out.

Prefers cumming in you but doesn’t mind, as long as you’re satisfied.

Can and will fuck you standing up and it’s very scary because WHO THE FUCK HAS SEX STANDING-

He’s mostly quiet, but still very verbal if that makes sense. He moans a lil and also lets out these like sighs? Idk how to explain it but just know he’s enjoying himself 😭.

“Mm you look so- fuck, good like this.”

🌙Phantom

He’s like a very excited puppy when it comes to sex. Probably would be into puppy play too tbh.

Very easy to overstimulate. Just go for a second or third round with some edging thrown in and he’s putty in your hands.

He whines, moans, whimpers, cries, you name it.

“Please, I’ll be good, I just need to cum, please.”

Doesn’t understand his size or strength sometimes. You couldn’t convince him he had a massive dick until one time when you were riding him you put his hand to your stomach where he could literally feel himself moving inside you.

Doesn’t mind whatsoever where he has to cum, just as long as he actually gets to.

He has the most sensitive tail and horns ever it’s not even funny. He could probably cum untouched if you played with them enough.

Bites a fucking lot, like damn boy calm down.

Needs praise or he might go a little coocoo.

🌙Ifrit

This man is a SWITCH WITH A BREEDING KINK.

So obviously he loves cumming in you.

Gets so unbelievably worked up when he smells you.

Likes fucking you while your in his lap, like something similar to the lotus. He needs to be close to you.

(Afab hc) for some reason he can tell when you’re ovulating and it just sends him spiralling. He’s practically on his knees rutting into the floor and begging you to let him fuck you.

This when he gets the most vocal.

“Please let me fuck a baby into you. Mm~ I’ll do anything”

Bites hard. Like it’s a problem.

(Half afab) Insists on carrying you everywhere once you two are finished. His reasoning is because he might’ve hurt your silly little human body with his massive ghoul dick (his words not mine) and because you might be pregnant!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

That's all, thanks for reading my lovelies!

[psychedelicmanatee]

Nobody cares, but here are my feelings about the Watcher situation...

The Ghoul Boys in particular are two of my fav internet entertainers. I often fall asleep listening to Post Mortems because listening to them laughing and being silly calms my brain.

I want them and their whole team to be successful. Like legitimately. I was a Patreon member when I could afford it because supporting them a little extra felt like I was helping. I worked in media production for a bit and know how expensive and difficult it is.

But man...They could have approached this so differently. Like being open about financial struggles and gauging how people were feeling about the idea? (I guess it's possible they did and I missed it. I don't watch everything they put out these days. It just seemed very abrup) Hell, enough people love them soooo much we probably could have come up with some great ideas.

Also. Another post I shared said this better, but framing it as a "choice" to continuing watching or not is super insulting. There are so many people who want to watch who now won't be able to.

I guess that's really it. The condescension, the assumptions being made, that's so disheartening. Like...you have all these people who are struggling to eat/stayed housed/alive right now who have been following you and supporting your company (many since the beginning) and you have the audacity to come back at them lecturing about how much things cost?? That's not the kind of people we thought the Watcher folks were. That's the reason we're feeling betrayed.

They have every right to want to scale up their level of their productions and shoot for the moon. It's their company. But Watcher. Please. So many of your fans are there because they like to see some goofy guys be goofy guys together. It doesn't have to be all shiny and bombastic. The banter has been and always will be the heart and soul of your content. But if that's not who you are anymore, that's your prerogative too.

Idk. This all has already been or will be said to death...Idk even why I'm writing this lol.

I have more to say but I have a super bad headache and need to stop trying ro articulate complex thoughts.

[thefallennightmare]

Hey! I'm so excited for you stalker Noah story!!

I saw you mention dark romance - what stories or books do you recommend?

Hiya! I’m so excited for this ask you have no idea. So I’ve read/listened to a lot of dark romance but I’m going to give you my favorites. It’ll all be under the cut since it’s going to be a long post lol.

Also, these all will have HEAVY trigger warnings so please do research before you start.

This is what I’m currently listening to on audible:

It’s a dual narration which makes it SO much better. The emotion the narrators have when they read it makes the story feel alive. The way this book has me blushing and kicking my feet is unreal. I’m on my stalker era right now(hence the new stalker Noah fic)

Here’s a little synopsis of the book:

“I don’t need another kink.”

That thought pops into my head whenever I pull up my favorite social media app, but alas, every time I scroll, I learn something new about myself, and another one is born. And yes, I know I’m responsible for what the algorithm shows me, but I’m trying to ignore that fact.

Lately, my feed has been dominated by masked men. I’ve favorited videos with them dressed in full cosplay, decked out in futuristic military apparel, and wrapped up like ghouls.

But more than anything else, my FYP is filled with shirtless men wearing ghost masks. Bonus points if they’re heavily tattooed, wielding a knife, or covered in fake blood. At night, I dream about being chased by them, of them catching me and doing deliciously dark things to my more than willing body.

I never could have guessed that by sending one drunken text, those dreams would become my new reality.

This book I’m currently reading on my kindle. I just started it last night and I’m YELLING. it’s a dark stalker romance as well.

Here’s a little synopsis of this book:

From the moment I spotted him on the side of the road, I knew he was trouble.

Now I'm kneeling at the mercy of a masked devil with my boyfriend's blood on my hands.

He tells me to call him Saint because he saved me... that I should be thankful he spared me a worse fate. I'm tempted to fight him or bargain.

But when Saint tells me to run, a twisted part of me wonders if he'll chase.

Now here are some of my all time favorites.

1. Filthy wicked psycho series by Eva Ashwood. These books are the first dark romance books I’ve read and it dragged me down the rabbit hole. The cliffhangers in each book made my own cliffhangers look like child’s play. It’s a reverse harem, meaning the FMC is in a relationship with three guys, who are all brothers. Don’t worry, the brothers don’t do anything to each other. But the group scenes? GOD DAMN 🥵

2. The Losers Duet and The Dare(it’s a prequel to the losers duet) all by Harley LaRoux. THESE BOOKS CHANGED MY ENTIRE LIFE DUDE. it opened my eyes to many different kinks where I was like “hold up, am I into this?” THE FUCKING BOOOOOOT. The FMC is in a relationship with four other guys. Who are also in a relationship with each other. It’s very fucking hot 🥵🥵

3. Little Stranger by Leigh Rivers. It is VERY taboo. So please please read the trigger warnings before hand. It’s about two foster siblings, NOT RELATED BY BLOOD. It’s also a stalker dark romance and it’s what helped inspire my stalker Noah fic.

There’s SO many others but these are some of my favs!

[syntheticmortal]

I got tagged by the lovely @crownedinmarigolds! Thank you so much mate!! I'm absolutely charmed 🥰

Now my rat bastard spouse stole most of my tagging options on their post so to not double-tag I will add:

@skaerdir, @klaciate, @tzimizce and @vamp-orwave!!

If anyone who sees this wants to be an honourary tagee, then go for it XD

For those who don't know - Hi I am Alex! (He/They) and I'm a writer and an English immigrant to the USA!

3 ships: oh mate all of these are OCxOC with @c-n-i-d-a-r-i-a-n

Victor and Gloria – A Nos and his unbound Ghoulfriend. Making your touchstone one of your mission Ghouls is dangerous af but live fast love hard, lads.

Jeff and Lamb – Another of Vic's unbound Ghouls and the Thin Blood Nos that joined the Warren. Disgustingly fucking cute injected into the den of the rejected and disgruntled.

Ventan/Taakur Rig and Rozanin Rig – My and Daz's SWTOR PCs respectively. A Chiss Cipher Agent that ends up having to go hide with his Mandalorian hireling with her Clan and Roz's unrequited love becomes hella requited and suddenly Ventan/Cipher Five-now-Taakur has step kids??

I love it so much.

first ship: Oh god this takes me back to being little. Probably a Sonic one??

Shadow and Rouge if I had to take a guess??

last song: Temptation by Sean Paul! A proper bop

But honestly massive shout out to the second Nostalgia Synthwave mix by Odysseus on youtube

This thing keeps me sane, and has all the songs marked! – that opening one, Realign by Cerulean, can usually just melt my brain into peace whenever I hear it

last film: Snatch – Like VTMB it's a problematic fave that oozes style and characterisation throughout. Watched it as prep for a Setite I'm going to play in a V5 game >:D

currently reading: Altered Carbon by Richard Morgan as part of genre research. Finished The Vampyre recently too! Really I should pick AC up today, I've been working hard on my editing and outlining of my own pieces and neglecting the reading part of the craft for a few weeks >.>;

currently craving: So I'm drinking far less booze to save money whilst I'm out of work trying to get some Proper Writing done. So when I hit a good worthy milestone I'm getting a bottle of whiskey and I am ready.

fav color: Green! Sometimes purple!

relationship status: Maaarriiied to @c-n-i-d-a-r-i-a-n

last google search: I had to double check the spelling of Taakur for the ship section, so it was 'mandoa' :')

and before that I'm pretty use I searched Scryfall last night to go look at MTG cards even though I have no one to play with right now :'D (at least it's saving me money >.>)

current obsessions: Was tempted to add my own work here but I'll tag that on the very end XD

There's a lot of fandoms I don't leave – World of Darkness and Warhammer 40k predominantly as settings I always have another angle I want to see explored in!

I do however have the Magic the Gathering bug, even though I haven't really played in years and years now – but card interaction as a generation for narrative has always kind of captivated me? Like there's a couple big mean Ogre cards that make Rats more dangerous, but due to the way the systems work they also empower the Ratfolk of Kamigawa, the Nezumi, as they count as 'Rat' cards still. So big Ogre spellcasters improving Rat people as part of a contained bit of narrative kind of fascinates me as a concept.

Plus each deck presupposes a Planeswalker character who's casting those spells – and I was always intrigued by that notion and so most of my OCs are representative of decks I played (or wanted to :P) and then in turn each Planeswalker needs a Plane to come from, probably from a still existing culture on that Plane too, and so it can kind of wonderfully reverberate inspiration.

Like how every VTM Kindred OC presupposes a Sire!

BONUS ALEX SECTION

So if you want to get to know me, let me tell you about what writing I'm working on/have made recently.

Out now!

The Mutilation of Finley Reid

A short story of masculine horror, about a young man by the name of Finley who suffers in the pursuit of having his place as a man affirmed by his peers.

The world of Torranham Nights is an anachronistic reflection of England set in the coastal city state of Torranham, drawing from contemporary culture and folklore as well as the legends and reality of the cultures that came before – without being fetishistic about it like a lot of stories will.

Handle It

A short retail horror, about working the cash register of a butcher's counter, and the customer who orders increasing amounts of ground beef...

Inspired by my own work in a same spot, anyone who's done service work should get a kick out of this – plus it's free and only takes 20 minutes to read! XD

On the way!

Defector – name subject to change

A short story of grief, shame, suicidal ideation, alcoholism, and community. On the moon.

A Special Recon mech pilot, “Crash”, from Earth has defected to the Moon rebels, and now lives in Magnolia City, rotting away in her tiny apartment. Then the Provisional Government sends one of its elite commanders, a former enemy of Crash's, to pull her out.

Elhart: Arrival

The first of a short story fantasy anthology about a city of refugees at the edge of time and space, hiding from the end of the multi-planar universe. A super soldier has washed up with a near-fatal headwound and no memory, and she must learn to live in a far more peaceful world than the one her instincts suggest she came from. But who was she? And can she earn the trust of people who fear her potential to kill?

Neon Sun

A novel! Cyberpunk Vampires! If we're mutuals you can come ask about this but I'm not ready to share things too publicly for this one yet, but the outlining has gone beautifully in my opinion, and the worldbuilding is singing.

Speartip

I'm making a TTRPG!! It's a Powered by the Apocalypse engine game, about serving as the primary field agents of a faction of people who need your support and protection. Because if you're going to be a hero, who are you doing it for if not your kin?

Setting agnostic as hell, excluding some implicit need for magic in the class moves – I'm prepping to playtest this in sci-fi and fantasy settings to see how well my mechanics hold up in both swords and firearms based stories. Plus I'm going to explore a variety of perspectives of what the faction can be – from ethnic groups, to gangs, to guilds, to neighbourhoods.

I'm VERY excited about all this!!

[uriekukistan]

Urie for the character ask :3

AJOWOEWPRKOWOEKDKEK yes i’m normal about him

My first impression: i didn’t like any of the quinx squad but i think i liked him slightly more than the others

My impression now: yeah i love him so much he’s an asshole sometimes but i love him also he’s just like me fr (is that a problem)

Favorite thing about that character: he’s such an asshole and i love him. i think he’s a really good picture of someone who puts too much pressure on themself to be the best i have a thing for characters like that i guess

Least favorite thing: i’m trying so hard to think of something…i would always want to see more of him ofc, and in the anime his story was kinda skimmed over if yk what i mean? like i felt there were gaps in his development in the manga too but the whole ending of re was rushed so i don’t complain too much. but in the anime? there’s like minimal sign of discontent until the coup against furuta. and in the manga i loved that he and saiko visited the chateau in the epilogue but the manga makes it seem like they never talked again.

Favorite line/scene: the “we’ll just become terrorists” line

Favorite interaction that character has with another:

for a while urie was really angry with haise for leaving the squad especially after shirazu’s death, but i think this moment showed urie making peace with what happened and understanding of kaneki, as well as accepting peace with the ghouls and rejecting what the ccg had him thinking

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: kaneki and kuroiwa. i want to see him make peace with his past and himself so bad :(

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: i thought of this while i was writing this, as i said i have a type, i love to see a character who puts too much pressure on themself so for that reason i will compare him to mello. both my fav characters from their respective medias, both yearning to be the best, working so hard, and facing the mental consequences. burning rage. ugh theyre so me…

A headcanon about that character: yall know i think about this man daily. i think he really likes studying random things, like stuff like history, philosophy, poetry. more than people may think, he’s an academic at heart (not projection..). he loves reading but don’t tell sasaki

A song that reminds of that character: bullet with butterfly wings by the smashing pumpkins

An unpopular opinion about that character: sometimes i think my unpopular opinion is that i like him at all ☹️ yall just dont get him no one gets him like i do.

Favorite picture:

👹👹

[loveotomization]

i got unbaaaanned here's an ask: can i get a behind the scenes for (one of) your fav/s akekita scene/s you've written, any fic 👀 like, how did the idea come to you, or some fun fact abt the writing process... if you have anything to share ^^

Thank you for this!! I've been dying to have an excuse to talk about this stuff, you have no idea!

This wasn't exactly what you asked, but I thought I'd mention that people who have read my stuff in general point out my use of off-the-wall metaphors/similes. If anyone enjoys my little flair in doing this, I highly recommend reading the works of Peter Beagle! I shamelessly stole the technique from him and made it my own. I recommend starting off with The Last Unicorn (it's a classic for a reason), but any of his older works share a similar style (A Fine and Private Place, Folk of the Air). I'm not sure that I would be a writer today without him.

Anyway...

-Fun fact: Akechi is easier for me to write than Yusuke. I, too, am very angry inside and probably just need a hug lol It's cathartic. Although, two years of studying art in college actually helps with writing Yusuke, because I don't need to look up art terms.

-In Aesopica, the ending was highly inspired by my favorite Tokyo Ghoul fic, in which Kaneki turns the tables on Tsukiyama in the end (huge content warnings for that TG fic btw). I loved how satisfying the circular nature of it was and wanted to try something similar. I knew the ending I wanted to create right from the first chapter.

I cannot remember how I came up with the fruit bowl to both mark the passing of time, and the decay of their relationship. But go past me for coming up with that! My 2017 brain was the real mvp.

This is also my longest fic and you will not see me write anything this long again lol I just don't have it in me. Shout out to long fic writers, I'll have some of whatever you're snacking on.

I also remember this being something of a vent fic. I was sad and wanted to my faves to be sad together. While I do enjoy supportive akekit, where they both grow together, I also love when they just make each other worse.

-Sliced Halves, Light Syrup, please imagine me in the grocery store staring blankly at a can of peaches while concocting an entire fic. Writers are very normal people.

This is also my second most popular akekit fic. Fluff sells, I guess. I prefer my darker stuff tbh!

-After Aesopica, my personal favorite of mine is Psychosomatic. I'm shy about my love of organ-fondling since it's not a common thing to be into (there's not even an official ao3 tag for it lol), so I'm grateful to the person on the kink meme for prompting this. Knowing someone else was interested allowed me to put myself out there and write it. I re-read it not long ago just for fun, and it holds up. It's the intimacy of literally touching the insides of someone, you know?

-I'm scrolling through my akekit fics now and wow! I do not remember some of these? Who wrote these while I wasn't looking??

-Kilroy Was Here was going to be serious angst about Akechi forcibly kissing Yusuke so that he would no longer trust him, because he feels like he doesn't deserve trust, blah, blah... But the idea of Yusuke annoying the crap out of him before they got to that point was so funny to me that I had to run with it. If anyone was wondering about my sense of humor, this fic is it. (I am not funny)

-Born to be Posthumous 69 kudos harr harr... I enjoy this one even if it wasn't as popular as some of my others. I remember being depressed and angry and wanting to take it out on Akechi.

This is getting long now, but it was fun! Thank you again! Hopefully this wasn't too far from you asked! Most of my scenes just come to me as I'm writing with a basic idea in mind, so I just toss them in as I go. A humble chef tossing anything she finds in the fridge right into the soup.

Now that I'm back from my writing hiatus I definitely plan to bring out more akekit when I can!

[sunflower-ghoulette]

I forgot to do the introduction thing of myself lol but yeah

🥀-yall can call me sunflower or anyother nickname ye want idm but if i don’t really like it that much ill send this emoji 💥

🥀-as you can tell i am friendly to anyone and you can dm me if you want to talk to someone and if lm confused I’ll probably use this emoji 🧍

🥀-i do simp for copia so i have alot of photos of him. (totality normal)

🥀-i do write 18+ stuff when it comes to me writing storys and if i feel like it i might draw 18+ stuff as well.

🥀-i don’t normality write story’s cause i am always busy cause of high school and shit but i do work on the story’s so i can post it but i do any ghoul or papa story so if you have any ideas pls tell me cause that would probably help abit.

🥀-i use gacha club, ibspaint and capcut for charaters, edits and art so yeah.

🥀-if you want to get to know me more just ask me, idm getting a dm randomly.

🥀-i might post random as shit or weird shit but thats just me being me so ya hope you don’t mind it.

🥀-my fav pets or animal is rats and cats even they dont mix well i know afew people who have a cat and afew mice or rats as pets and they fine living with each other but i know some cats will probably kill the rats but ill be prepared for it.

🥀-I’ll probably send updates of my art and stuff but i work with two devices a phone and an ipad so yeah.

🥀-i am abit young but yall can try and guess cause i like yall trying to guess shit lol.

🥀-if i say something too many times or if something doesn’t make sense just tell me lm fine with it.

[dgaftilwedie]

EEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHE u guyz have no idea how much i LOVE talking abt my music taste........... im into so many diff genres and im so annoying passionate abt it...........

all nereids beware by chiodos (thx kyle <3)

my fav album of all time is swan songs by hollywood undead but my fav current is drugs by destroy rebuild

ghost, deftones, pierce the veil, mindless self indulgence, my chemical romance, gaerea B))

there were so many.......... cannibal corpse got me into death metal n then into goregrind which is one of my fav genres ever, BTS got me into kpop, get scared n my chem got me into emo, deftones got me back into nu metal.........

them bones by alice in chains

ghost ofc.......... uhmmmm gaerea fer sure........ definitely mcr too

none LMFAO too poor

have u ever loved a band so much u converted religions. that's me with ghost (long story) (too hard to explain) (this is me being dramatic but also not really). i love the music so much and i love all the blatantly satanic themes. the story behind the band is so funny to me but in a good way. like it's just an evil italian church trying to spread the message of the devil. but it's also so much more than that. it's a direct callout to the toxicity of certain religions and the impact of having them pushed on you unwillingly. tobias forge is also just an incredible person and the ghouls are so near and dear to my heart.............

i haven't been listening to any newer albums recently X___X

also none LMFAO i've been mostly just listening to chiodos and destroy rebuild lately

i really don't like scene queen. first of all, SHE IS NOT SCENE!!!!! i try not to be a stickler when it comes to subcultures but you can't just market yourself as something you're not. especially if she makes "metal" music??? which, by the way, that is not metal. it's pop with a little screaming and electric guitar. there is a stark difference. i agree 1000% that we need more women in the scene, but she isn't doing metal or scene justice. and as someone who is like annoyingly passionate about this kind of stuff isn't just super frustrating 💀💀 idc if u like her music, im sure she's a lovely person, i just don't think she actually knows what music she's trying to make nor does she understand scene culture 👍👍

i don't know xD

there are none that really come to mind idk these questions are confusing

BTS i guess just for the fact that kpop has a really bad wrap n everyone is super judgemental when i say i like kpop. it's literally just music from a different country. sure the fans can be kinda weird but not all of us are bad?????

the obvious answer is ghost :3 they're my favorite band on the face of the fucking planet and i make sure everyone knows it but everyone expects them to be a lot harder cuz of their aesthetic and concept n shiet :3

ghost.......... they're like my only personality trait ok 🙄🙄

had to go deep diving for these next two........... ermmmm this love, this hate by hollywood undead

maybeeeee ijime, dame, zettai by babymetal :3

does the thirteen commandments zenith re-release art count

IT WON'T LET ME ADD ONE WITHOUT FUCKING UP MY NUMBERS

necrotwerker is a pretty good one

one hundred sleepless nights by ptv.............

literally anything brokencyde has ever made

my go to has been good-looking by suki waterhouse for a while butttttttt idk lolol

dis one is like my main playlist it has like all my fav songs on it (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0LhT2xeRs32FhDclOIG0Iw?si=SSDswamgRz2IXZS12IzQ3Q&pi=u-fJP6CGcBTvuW)

I CAN'T THINK OF ANYYYYYYYYY

i can play the trumpet but there aren't many songs to "jam" too esp cuz i can't hear dick over it LMFAO also i haven't touched a trumpet since 2019

PROBABLY

CORPSE BRIDE COUNTS BUT ALSO I FUCKING LOVE HAMILTON

epicface B)

both :3 just depends on a lot of circumstances

i don't know what this means

yeah i would say so :D

nope :P

don't have any

awwwww fuck idk OH WAIT THE DRESDEN DOLLS SELF-TITLED i like that album cover a lot (OBVIOUSLY I DON'T AGREE WITH WHAT'S-HER-NAME'S VIEWS CUZ SHE'S A TERF OR SOMETHING)

nope

ghost has done so many covers i think like 1/3 of their discography is just covers :P phantomime is a dope ass ep solely bc it's all covers. they ANNIHILATED the cover of phantom of the opera in the best way possible. by far one of my fav covers they've ever done :3

a lot (i can't attach images without it messing up my numbers)

see above 🙄🙄🙄 (it was sativa by sarah skinner btw) (i skipped cattle decapitation, suicide silence, and dethklok for this)

music ask game but it came straight out of my caffeinated brain on a wednesday morning

there’s just one rule : send some into me before you reblog!!

1. what is your favorite song. right now. tell me.

2. what is your favorite album. tell me rn.

3. who is your favorite artist or band? if you’re like me, just give your top 3 or 5.

4. what band started it all for you?

5. shuffle your playlist!!! what’s the first song that plays?

6. what bands/artists do you want to see in concert?

7. what bands/artists have you seen in concert?

8. tell me about your favorite band. go on infodump for me.

9. what’s an album that JUST came out and it’s been on repeat for like 6 days +?

10. what’s a song that literally just came out and you’ve had it on repeat forever?

11. tell me about your least favorite band or artist. go on scream about why you hate them.

12. what is one song that has irreparably damaged your social skills?

13. what is one album that has irreparably damaged your social skills?

14. what is one artist that has irreparably damaged your social skills?

15. what is one band/artist you listen to and everybody knows you listen to them but no one would expect them to have THAT genre?

16. what is one band/artist you listen to that everyone knows you for?

17. what song in your playlist sounds like this 💖❤️🥰🤩💘💕 but the lyrics are 🖤🩸⛓💣🗡🪨

18. what song in your playlist sounds like this 🖤🩸⛓💣🗡🪨 but the lyrics are 💖❤️🥰🤩💘💕

19. what is your favorite album art from one of your favorite artists?

20. SHOW ME A PICTURE OF ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS. RIGHT NOW. I NEED TO SEE THEM.

21. what’s the weirdest song title you can think of right now.

22. i just saw the prettiest motorcycle on the way to school tell me one song you’d blast on a motorcycle while driving one

23. what’s a song that makes you feel like a hot badass?

24. what’s a song you cry to?

25. show me your favorite playlist!!!!! what are some songs on it?????

26. show me two songs with the same title!!! same genre?? different genre??

27. if you can play any instrument, what’s your favorite song to jam to??

28. DO YOU LIKE SHOWTUNES???(((

29. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MUSICAL)?????

30. describe your music taste in one word

31. are you a lyric analyzer or do you just listen for fun. 🫣

32. pretty vinyls or 180 gram vinyls?

33. DO YOU COLLECT CDS????

34. DO YOU COLLECT VINYLS??(((

35. show me your prettiest vinyl🥰

36. show me your favorite cd case or booklet :)

37. DO U HAVE ANY NEAT RECORD COVERS??

38. did one of your favorite bands/artists do a cover???? tell me about it!!!

39. how much do you love music? describe to me in one image.

40. shuffle your playlist and the fifth song—describe it in one image.

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

If you do play ikevil who are your fav suitors so far and why ? Mine is daily guessed based on my type of pretty men with traumas and a kind heart that here translate in Elbert but still I am wondering also if you do plan to write for him in the future or like for other suitors aside the one you wrote for until now As ever I wish you a wonderful day hoping my question fibd you well and didn't bothered you st keast not too much btw ILY pls take care ❤❤

I knew from the beginning that Elbie was the one for you!!! It just screamed Julie from afar!! :D

For sure I'll write for Elbert...!! i think i've done a ficlet back when we only had his sprite and his name to work with so i really wanna write something else now that i know much more about him. i haven't played his route tho! You'll have to judge if i do him justice or not 👁👁

Alfons is my fave hands down. from day one. interestingly i don't think i like him romantically?? maybe.....maybe we can be fwb..... 👉👈 maybe we can celebrate our birthdays together and go together to his suspicious social gatherings and even match outfits and bicker with each other and and HAVE YOU SEEN THE FIC GHOUL WROTE it's basically everything i want from al!!!! ahhhh dreamy sigh

god im talking too much!!! thank you for the question!! now you have to tell me your 2nd and 3rd fave!! I'm going to try and guess them....... hmmm...ellis... and...william? please let me know!! take care too!! i love you!!

[animeyanderelover]

Thank you for answering my request! I loved it very much 🥰

If it isn't to much of a bother could I request yandere Izuku, Shoto, Overhaul, Shigaraki (Bnha), Sebastian (black butler) Ken Kaneki & Shuu Tsukiyama (tokyo ghoul), Ryōta Kise & Shintarō Midorima (Kuroko No Basket) [all separate] reactions to their darling giving birth and she started to have compilations and at the end of childbirth the baby is healthy but it almost cost the darling life? Please and thank you 😊

If you are uncomfortable with this you can ignore it

I see you did look into my post of favorite Yandere🥰. Also, how could I not answer your request if you just asked so many of my favs? Currently feel in a real mood for Nishinoya though. Do not read if you’re sensitive about such stuff since I know that this is triggering and happens in real life as well.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, paranoia, pregnancy, suggested abortion, s/o nearly dying whilst giving birth

s/o nearly dies whilst giving birth

Sebastian Michaelis

🐈‍⬛He wouldn't want to start initially a family with his darling and won't really talk about it either unless you're the one talking about it first. Demons aren't exactly known to build families in the first place, it's more about continuing their kind and satisfying their own desires since demons do have something called a mating session. Sebastian has it as well and for that it's wise to use some sort of protection because he as sure won't, at least whilst he is in his "heat". Otherwise he as well is ready to use protection if you don't want to risk it.

🐈‍⬛He grows significantly more clingy whilst his darling is pregnant and feels the need to have his scent all over her. He knows that the child will be a half breed and for that not exactly be loved by other demons and every other superhuman creature. It increases also his protectiveness and next to that he also doesn't really know how exactly everything will work out since he has never heard before what happens if a human bears a demon child. He can only guess what might happen based from his knowledge about human and demon biology. But he prepares sure as hell everything.

🐈‍⬛He kind of knows when exactly his mate will give birth and for that will guide her to a safe and secure place he chose so no one will interrupt the three of you. He kind of wants this moment only to belong to you, him and your child and he has everything necessary already prepared. Sebastian had, despite of course also remaining always cautious due to the new situation he's being faced with, confidence that he could handle this and he senses relatively early that something isn't right in here, probably even before the complications really started. It's of course not unheard off, he knows that humans and sometimes even demons go through this trouble. Nevertheless, it's Sebastian's darling we're talking about and coupled with his high senses that things are definitely not going the right way, he feels quite an emotion he isn't used to feel. Fear. He never feared before, he used to not feel much anyways before his darling was introduced to him and he finally understood human emotions better. He started understanding the concept of being afraid to lose something precious to you. But now is the first time he really feels it.

🐈‍⬛Of course we don't know the true extent of his powers, but given the fact that his s/o's body is currently already overwhelmed with trying to push the baby, who is not human, out, he doesn't know how exactly you and the unborn child will react and handle it and he also doesn't want to risk it. He feels beyond frustrated with himself at this point because he can't do anything, the baby and you are already too far in the progress for him to somehow interrupt and all he can really do by now is keeping his darling conscious. Uses his powers to help and support in all ways he possibly can. Sebastian tries to stay calm for his darling because by now he's in all the numbing and blackening pain the only solid rock and she's afraid as well so if she sees Sebastian panicking as well, she'll get discouraged as well and giving up now can end fatal.

🐈‍⬛But the longer this drags on and the more strength you seem to lose, the more he feels the stress and fear getting to him as well. It is without a doubt, if his kitten shouldn't have been in a life-threatening situation before, the most heart breaking and frightening thing he's ever gone through because for the first time he doesn't know what he can do to help you and the baby which means he could lose both of you. Sebastian never met the child before, but he grew already protective over them and he most likely considered turning you into a demon if worse comes to worse which seems to likely before his darling finally delievers the baby, after a nerve-wrecking time for Sebastian. He checks thoroughly yet quick on the baby and wraps them up before also checking on you because now every second might matter and he would never forgive himself if he would have to turn his mate because of his faults into a demon.

🐈‍⬛He's just beyond relieved when everything seems to not have ended in a complete disaster. Sebastian mostly blames himself and doesn't let the excuse that he himself went somewhat blindly into this not exactly count and he apologizes countless times to you afterwards, he truly is sorry. Afterwards he just tries to not leave you or the baby alone for too long and finishes every task the young master gives him as fast as possible only to rush quickly back to you and the newborn baby girl so he can take care of the both of you. He doesn't let you do anything for a whole while, sensing that you still need a lot of rest and he doesn't want you to overwork yourself as long as he isn't sure that you're in the right state to do so. He still starts, despite the shock, enjoying domestic life with his new and small family and is satisfied with one child completely.

Izuku Midoriya

💚Izuku is without a doubt a family man, he has quite literally the baby fever and whilst not forcing you into anything, it is definitely without a doubt a topic that is often discussed with him and he believes you would make a great mum. He just loves seeing you interact with children and whenever he does see you being with small children, he can’t help, but fantasize how it would be if those children would be yours and his. Wouldn’t they look just adorable?

💚He has planned when he will have his first child with his darling which is creepy, but it isn’t like that’s the only thing that he’s planned out for you two. So hearing that his darling is indeed pregnant makes him feel like he’s floating, it is without a doubt one of the best moments in his life and whilst he can be a bit clumsy, he is pretty structured about all of this, the following months since he planned all of this years ago. Has most likely a whole team of professionals booked the moment your water breaks. He’s nervous as hell, sure, but he tries to be confident that he has everything worked out so there should go nothing wrong.

💚So it hits him really hard the moment something starts going wrong. Izuku might have always suspected that something might go not right, he always felt anxious that there might be a miscalculation. But he just somewhat didn’t expect it to be so incredibly bad and the worst is that he doesn’t know what to do. He just knows that he might lose his precious darling and maybe also the baby without ever having gotten the chance to meet them. He just starts crying then and there, losing really all self-control he might have had and just starts sobbing heavily whilst dashing over to his darling, clinging onto her hand and really just trying to comfort her and tell her anything will be fine whilst also begging the doctors to do something, to help you in any way. Izuku just ends up being a sobbing and crying mess, yelling for his darling to stay awake and stay with him that the doctors might just have to push him out of the room since he can’t think rationally anymore. It isn’t easy to do so, Izuku doesn’t even think about letting his darling alone now and the doctors will have to use force to push him outside where he’ll just end up having a complete mental breakdown, not knowing what will happen to his beloved darling and his treasured child.

💚The screams of his darling haunt him for the next few hours. He feels like he’s being stabbed every time he hears it, but as soon as they stop his heart stops beating out of fear that it means the worst. He just sits down on the clean floor, knees not having any strength left and is forced to wait for hours outside, the only things telling him that his s/o is alive being her screams which will torture him in his dreams later on. He loses track of time and is always torn apart between waiting or smashing the door since the nurses and doctors refuse to let him in. But he knows that he currently doesn’t have his powers really under control, not when he is suffering from so many painful emotions at once and he doesn’t want to endanger his darling’s life.

💚So hearing suddenly the scream of a baby clearly makes Izuku jump up from his cowering and crying pose, feeling on the one hand terrified of what happened to you and if his baby got hurt or if both of you are healthy and fine. And now he really can't hold back anymore and just storms into the room just wanting to know whether both of you are fine or not. Whilst Izuku is sometimes more of a crybaby, he can become more unnerving in certain situations like this one. It even scares the doctors and all they can do is tell him that you barely made it, but are out of danger for now and that the baby is healthy. It isn't exactly what Izuku wanted to hear, the knowledge that you could have lost your life is now forever engraved as a scar on his brain and heart and additionally knowing that his baby might have never been able to meet their wonderful mum makes him even more aching.

💚He's not leaving your side, not as long as the doctors can't promise that you're healthy enough to leave the place again. He just starts sleeping with you in the same room, watching over you and the babies (since I hc him with twins, boy and girl), feeling the first few nights a bit too afraid to sleep, the thought not leaving his head that something might happen whilst he's in his dreamlands. He doesn't blame his twins for it, they're literally next to the simple fact that you're still alive, the only people managing to give him a bit of joy after this traumatizing experience and he cries bittersweet tears over them when holding them for the first time. This event just leaves permanent damage on him and he is afterwards too afraid to go through all this again which leads him to not wanting to get you pregnant again. He has his twins and can live happily with that. He can still adopt children later on if he wants to have more with you.

Shoto Todoroki

🔥❄️He actually really wants to start a family with his darling, but doesn’t talk about it unless he’s in his delusional mode again. He just had such a traumatic childhood himself and it makes him somewhat insecure. He just wouldn’t want his children to suffer like he did so despite knowing that he wouldn’t treat his own children ever like his father did, he just feels more anxious about it whilst he’s aware. If he’s delusional he tends to get more dreamy and fantasize more about it since he craves a domestic life with you.

🔥❄️Personally feel like he wouldn't take his darling to the hospital, but rather make sure he builds a room in his own house with all the tools and machines a doctor could possibly ask for when helping a woman giving birth. Shoto is a bit paranoid and it doesn't get better the closer his wife gets to giving birth to their beautiful baby. He's just so frightened that something might go wrong, but also gets in a positive way impatient and nervous the more time passes on since he really wants to meet his baby. Shoto grows just incredibly clingy the more she starts showing and at one point he won't leave his darling's side at all and won't let her do anything alone either. It escalates to the level where he wants to follow her to the toilet.

🔥❄️His reaction is bad, everyone's would be, but his in another sense since his mentality is somewhat tied to his darling's. She's without a doubt Shoto's world just as well as the little baby who he loves already more than anything else, besides his darling and his mother. And he already is so incredibly careful with her and has somewhat of a panic attack everytime she hurts herself in a not harmful way. So just imagine how he will react to this, realizing that his darling has complications. He is not th most informed about the whole topic of giving birth, but even he gets that this could end in the worst end possible and the moment he sees that the doctors are panicking as well, it just really gets to him. He jus stands there frozen for a few seconds, chest tightening painfully until he has the feeling that he can't breathe anymore and heart beating hard and fast against his chest that he has the feeling his ribs might break because it hurts, it hurts too much. That's before he throws any rational thinking out of the window and just wants to run to his darling before he is being stopped by the nurses and doctors who tell him to get out quickly because he shouldn't have to watch this.

🔥❄️Shoto of course absolutely refuses to leave his love alone, by now a sobbing mess who is almost about to go violently against the people who currently try to seperate him from his darling and the baby. It wouldn't be until one of the doctors point out that he's currently not in control of his quirks which he probably didn't even notice until then. He's just having too much of a breakdown currently that he started subconsciously activating his powers, the air already having turned cold and yet so hot. He can't possibly stay in this room as long as he hasn't calmed down and even he will get this that he's currently more of a danger than help, it's the rational side of him so he'll let himself get pushed out, though still begging and sobbing to let him see you, help you, do anything.

🔥❄️It's torture in it's most cruel form for him, being away from his love whilst knowing that she could die at any moment and yet he has to force himself to go somewhere else, his quirks just keep activating themselves due to him not possessing the needed calmness to control them and he doesn't want to hurt his darling and have her die because of his quirk so he ends up stumbling his way as far as he is able to go before he breaks down and has a full out panic attack ending with him freezing up the whole area he's currently in and he can't bring himself to calm down, not as long as he hears his darling's shrill screams clearly echoing through the floors which give him the feeling that his heart will explode any moment in his chest. He's terribly co-dependent on his darling and just knows that he'll do something inhuman if he loses her and his child he always cherishes greatly without ever having met her before (he gets a girl).

🔥❄️He is just beyond traumatized, even after months have passed by and you slowly start feeling better. This event will just keep him up at night and whilst he used to be already terribly overprotective and sensible when it comes to your well-being, now it has reached the point of total paranoia and in a way hit is even justified given the fact that after the birth you were extremely weakened and needed time to get better. Shoto is just too afraid to let you leave the house or even the goddamn room for too long and won't let you do anything which requires too much physical work alone anymore. It is tiring as well as somewhat frustrating, especially after you start feeling better and want to do some things alone because as soon as you do, Shoto already rushes over and helps you with whatever you were about to do which ends in him doing it alone whilst guiding you back to get some rest. The same counts for his daughter because whilst she is said to be healthy, Shoto can't help, but fear that she suffered some damage as well which is why he doesn't let her out of his sight for too long either. She's too fragile to crawl somewhere alone. Shoto has his both angels much rather with him.

Tomura Shigaraki

✋He never really wanted a family, though the thought might have crossed his mind every once in a while. But he has family issues as well, he killed his whole family due to awakening his quirk for the first time and the only reason he can touch you is because he always wears a pair of gloves or, ideal situation, you possess some sort of neutralization quirk which allows you to be immune against any sort of other quirk.

✋Next to that the situation he is in isn't all that ideal either and he knows that as well. He is a villain, kidnapped his darling and keeps moving around from place to place. So he just goes kind of silent the moment his darling tells him she's pregnant. He doesn't really know how to react if he's being honest. On the one hand he's certainly happy, he didn't plan this, but he isn't upset about it. On the other hand he suddenly starts worrying a lot. Will he be a good father? What is he supposed to do when you give birth? What will happen if the child ends up being neglected by him? How is he even supposed to take care of a child?

✋He might be the leader of a bunch of villains, but he is pretty childish himself and lacks the knowledge how to handle this situation. Kurogiri ends up helping him a lot with planning and organizing stuff. Shigaraki will also reassure his darling later on that he's happy since he didn't say anything when she told him which might have discouraged her. He just needs a bit time to warm up to the thought of fatherhood and sees this as a chance to spit onto his father's image and be better than him. Most likely made everyone search for a safe place where hopefully no heroes can find them and brought his darling there in her last weeks of pregnancy. Whilst he was at first stubbornly refusing, Kurogiri managed to convince him in the end to search for someone who can help during birth since no one from the members of the league has a real idea how to assist someone through giving birth. Preferably someone who works in the more illegal area as well and possesses a fitting quirk, similar to a healing quirk like many people in hospitals have. Shigaraki doesn't trust whoever ends up helping his darling when the time has come in the least bit, but even he is aware that no one else would be a great help.

✋Shigi doesn't have the most knowledge when it comes to birth besides the inducing labors. But when even someone like him realizes that something is wrong, chaos is bound to break out. The worst is that he doesn't even know what he can do and how he can help his darling right now and Kumogiri has to stop him from destroying something very important in the sickbay he prepared for this day or, even worse, the person who's supposed to help you. Shigaraki just starts throwing an emotional tantrum and blames everyone around him for the suffering for his darling. The other members for their other uselessness, Kurogiri for not preparing better, the doctor for not helping you, himself for not being able to do anything to help you...He's a mess.

✋Similar to Shoto he is also to a certain level dependent on his darling, he just latches really often on her and her love he receives through her and so he ends up having a complete meltdown too. But different from Izuku or Shoto who are in that moment in tears and too much pain to do much, he reacts a bit differently. He still cries, very much. But he just starts trashing around, wanting to be close to his darling and be able to kill someone the moment they hurt her and/or the baby. And he doesn't let reason go through his head and he is also the leader and if his hands, who literally just twitch to kill someone, shouldn't be enough to make someone shut up, it's the intense and unhinged look he gives everyone who does as much as saying a word. If his darling dies here, he is ready to turn everyone into dust who happens to be in the same room as him and isn't his darling. Everyone else knows that as well and it terrifies them, knowing that Tomura will go into a blinded frenzy the moment he loses his darling and the child.

✋He might have just blamed it on the child as well at the first. But he literally couldn't bring himself to hate his own child when he saw his son for the first time and in the end it was a huge relief for everyone when his darling survived everything and the baby ended up being just fine, a healthy small boy. Shigaraki ends up not finding himself to be able to leave you alone for a very long time afterwards, not by a long shot. He just nearly lost you and his baby and for that flatly refuses to leave your side for longer than two minutes which are already too much. And different from before, he doesn't even leave anymore when you reassure him that you'll wait for him and even Kurogiri can't talk him into leaving you and your son alone. And it definitely isn't a good idea to try to be a bit more forceful because it ends with one of his bare hands grabbing onto the person, only one finger preventing grabbed body part from complete extinction. If they have to talk with him about important stuff, they'll have to do it in the same room all three of you stay and even then they have to be careful because Shigaraki will force them to leave the moment either you or the baby seem to get annoyed with this all.

Overhaul/Kai Chisaki

🦠Kai is another one who never really had plans to start a family and doesn't consider himself to be a good father either. He doesn't really keep secrets from you either and so you most likely know how he treats Eri which might just end up with you feeling terrified the moment you find out that you're carrying and you most likely found out due to Kai. He just checks weekly on you and so he's just bound to find out that you're pregnant with his child and he offered you an abortion at first, not wanting you to carry something you don't want either.

🦠He ends up feeling flustered if you decide to keep his baby which he put by accident into you. Nevertheless, he ends up preparing everything months before since he wants everything to be perfect the moment you have your contractions. Kai is from all the people from My Hero Academia the one who has the most knowledge about the human body and biology due to him experimenting constantly on Eri, though this was a bit different. But it won't take him long until he has collected enough knowledge about the topic birth as well.

🦠The thing about Kai is that due to his obsession and focus on keeping his darling pure and safe from other filth, he is pretty much the only one who will help you through the process of giving birth. It's just his confidence as well as fear talking out of him and he doesn't really wants someone to see his darling in such a vulnerable and weak moment either. He already keeps his darling away from pretty much anyone else so she can keep her purity and won't get hurt by anything and anyone else and he finds himself getting more intense with this opinion on him the more time passes by and for the first time in his life he really starts thinking about family and having to raise a child. And not just anyone's child. It's your and his child and after he's gotten over the first shock he finds himself searching for your company more than usual, a sudden desire to be closer to you washing over him as well as trying to bond with you more than normally, coming to the conclusion that he at the very least wants to try to give his child a good life which should start with a good relationship between the parents. Also starts checking even more on you than usually, watching especially the baby which turned out to be babies in the term of twins, a surprise, but a pleasant one.

🦠Whilst he doesn't let anyone in the same room as long as everything is under his control, there will be a lot of guards being placed around the hideout who are ordered to keep even as much as a fly away from his darling whilst Chisaki guides her through birth. As mentioned, he's well informed about the whole process of contractions and giving birth which is why he will notice swiftly that something seems to go wrong which leads in him increasingly worrying. Kai hates it when things doesn't go the way he planned to do it and especially when it comes to the safety and well-being of his darling, he ends up becoming extremely inhuman and cruel, letting his rage out on everyone who happens to pass by him.

🦠So the moment Kai calls for help, everyone will start fearing for their lives because the look in his eyes says it all which puts extremely much pressure on the people who were chosen to assist him in case of an emergency because Kai's string of patience is strained up, the danger of snapping at any moment and one wrong movement from one of the people in the room and they'll end up as a wet stain. He doesn't throw a tantrum, he doesn't cry, he looks much more composed than everyone else. But one look in those dark glinting eyes and his extremely tensed up form and you'll know that you fuck up if you tick him off. He just gives short and angered demands, hissing at everyone to go to their work and if they happen to touch you in the wrong way, they're dead. They aren't allowed to touch you with bare hands anyways and they just know that Kai will go berserk if something happens to his darling or to his babies and he won't care if the people he kills are his men or not. Everyone knows that and it ends up being torture for everyone.

🦠So if his darling ends up surviving, everyone else will as well, though they aren't out of danger either. Because the following days where his darling takes a well deserved and demanded break from everything, he's more on edge than normally and for that more trigger-happy than usually. Whoever ended up helping him giving birth is absolutely forbidden to ever mutter a word about it or else Chisaki will erase their petty presence from this planet without any regrets. If someone wants to talk to him, it'll have to be about something really important because Kai has more impotant things to do than playing the role of a leader who really cares about his pawns. He much more prefers to check on the twin's and your health at least twice a day. Similar to Shigaraki he blamed the children as one of the reasons why you had to go through this though he quickly stops thinking that way after having checked over the two boys for the first time and getting a chance to observe them closer and he ends up finding himself getting more emotional over them than he actually thought he would. He ends up becoming even more provident than during pregnancy since you as well as the children need a lot of caring and attention right now.

Ken Kaneki

🔲Kaneki has other worries than thinking too much of a child which would be how to convince you to not think of him as a monser and how to get to your love which he just craves. Kaneki is someone who's mentality is dependent on how his darling feels, in general and about him. If you're upset, he's as well, if you're crying, he feels devastated and if you should fear him, he snaps in an emotional sense. So he wouldn't really even want a family unless he is sure that you're in love with him as well.

🔲Next to that the chance of Kaneki falling for a human darling is higher than for a ghoul darling which somewhat stirs up the question whether the baby will die in the womb or if not, his darling will even deliever successfully and what sacrifices would have to be made in order to give birth to the child. So there are just a lot of insecurities and worries the moment he hears that his s/o is pregnant and whilst he is also happy, he also fears that you'll lose the embryo or will have a teratism. And this wouldn't be good for your and his mentality because Kaneki would quickly get attached to the littly baby.

🔲No matter if you're a ghoul or a human, in either case many people don't know whether you'll actually give birth or not, though the chances would be higher if you are a ghoul, making the baby a natural half-ghoul who can eat and digest human food as well. If you are a human, there are also chances that you might give birth to a half-human, whose lifetime is significantly different due to aging faster. So Kaneki and the darling go both with a lot of insecurities into the pregnancy and Kaneki honestly just tries to prepare himself for a possible miscarriage or even that his darling might want an abortion in which case he would with an aching heart agree. If she however decides to keep the baby and is even ready to engage into canibalism to increase the chance of a successful birth, Kaneki would feel incredibly pained due to the other love his darling shows by doing so if she should be a human and in a way he would even try to stop her at first, but would stop the moment she confesses how much she wants this baby in which case he would stop. With a ghoul darling he would have to worry less and allow himself to be happy so much faster than with a human darling since he would be just scared of getting his heart broken by a not healthy child.

🔲He doesn't really want to go to a human hospital with his darling when the day of birth comes due to fearing that if the baby happens to be a half-ghoul, might end up getting killed together with his s/o. He ends up asking his friends for help and if they perhaps know a trustworthy doctor who can be there for him and his darling when it comes down to his darling's water breaking. Asking Tsukiyama wouldn't be the best option for him since Kaneki knows that the guy wants to eat him so he doesn't trust him with you and the unborn child either, though Tsukiyama would find out the one or another way and offer help since he has money and contacts. In the end the purple-haired male is still the best option Kaneki will have, but he makes it fairly clear to him that he'll kill him if he even attempts to devour you or the child and he's dead serious which is bound to scare Shuu a bit. Touka might accompany him since he asked her to do so and she most likely is some sort of friend for the darling.

🔲In the end it is somewhat the other way around. Shuu and Touka will have to hold Kaneki back before he ends up ripping violently away whoever is guiding you through the process of giving birth to the baby the moment he sees that something goes the wrong way. It awakens the worst strike of paranoia in him and suddenly everyone near his darling is seen as danger and hearing her horrific screams and seeing her wiggling and crying form is like pouring gasoline in an already bright burning inferno. It doesn't end well and in that moment he doesn't care that Touka is a friend of his or that Shuu just tries to help, he will hurt anyone who stands between him and his darling which leads to a fight breaking out where Touka and Shuu will have to team up in order to drag him away from the room so the doctors can do what Shuu called them for. And trying to reason with Kaneki will be useless because in that moment the only thing he can hear are his darling's screams which shake his mentality and heart up dangerously every time.

🔲He can't even bring himself to calm down after that doctors confirm that you're out of any life-threatening danger because him getting to know that you barely made it is traumatizing enough so the only thing that keeps him from losing it there and then is the fact that his darling is at the very least still alive and the baby, which will be a half-ghoul, is healthy. It's best if he is left alone for the next few days with his darling and Shuu might just allow him and his new family to stay for as long as needed until you have regained the needed strength to walk on your own again. Whilst Kaneki appreciates the help, he still ends up not letting anyone inside the room where you and your little daughter are resting and he can say with confidence that he is already deeply in love with his little girl the moment he saw her for the first time and both of you would be very relieved that your baby ended up being a half-ghoul which makes Kaneki on the other hand more warily around Tsukiyama. Kaneki ends up just shooing everyone who might want to see his newborn baby away, feeling too frightened to let anyone near you as long as your whole body is so extremely weakened and as long as his little daughter is so small and frail.

Shuu Tsukiyama

🍷Shuu is hard to deal with due to him being a mix of worshipper and clingy yet also a sadistic Yandere. He's just attached extremely to his darling and yet he likes seeing her in pain if he's pushed enough and if his darling is a human, she'll have to endure him feeding from her from time to time, though he might also do it if she's a ghoul. It makes quite the turbulent relationship with him either crying and being all dramatic or a sadistic piece of shit and if it wouldn't be for his father stepping in at one point and lecturing his son, this would have continued.

🍷Shuu's father sees that his son adores you, but chooses the wrong way to show it and for that will scold his son for treating you so cruelly. He welcomes you rather warmly into the family, no matter human or ghoul, and ends up taking on the role of a therapist for his darling as well as Shuu to help both of them with their problems. It helps you a lot because thanks to his dad, you'll be freed from getting eaten from time to time or having to endure a sadistic Shuu. On the other hand it awakens something else in Shuu and next to reaching the maximum of sickenly sweet infatuation with you, it makes the thoughts of starting a family suddenly be all over his mind.

🍷He talks with it about his father, only if you should be human that is, since ghouls and humans can in most cases not create any children and even if it happens, in only rare cases a half-ghoul is born. His father will of course also ask whether you want to have a child as well or not because if you don't want a child, he won't help his son with this. If you do want a child with Shuu as well, he is ready to collect as many informations as possible how a human and a ghoul can have a higher chance of giving birth to a half-ghoul. If human, he'll also have to inform you about that you would have to start eating human flesh so the child gets the needed nutrions. So the moment Shuu gets his darling pregnant, his father will be the first one to be informed so he can instantly order a team from different doctors and assistants who will watch over you and the baby since now his grandchild is being involved. And Shuu is with his joy over the moon, all excited to meet his little sweet baby as soon as possible and don't worry, if you're human he won't taste from his child. His father wouldn't let him touch his grandchild that way in the first place and Shuu doesn't plan on doing it anyways.

🍷Mirumo, Shuu's father, checks over your health weekly and Shuu wouldn't have it any other way either.And he almost fainted when he found out that you were carrying twin girls which led him to growing even more clingy, knowing that he'll be blessed with not only one, but two pretty princesses. His father will have to remind him that you need some private space as well, especially since you're pregnant with two babies. At one point Shuu just lets the servants do everything for you, not wanting you to overdo anything and hurt you or the babies accidentally. It's in a way annoying, but he can't help himself with it either and doesn't think of it as bad either. He's just taking care of his three girls. You'll also give birth in the mansion, no question about it. That's what his father hired after all a whole team of professionals and people he trusts. Shuu actually kind of forgets that something might go wrong, especially if his darling is human. He doesn't really want to think of it either, he refuses to.

🍷And if it wouldn't be for his father, the man would end up going on a rampage whilst suffering from a terrible meltdown. His father will have to somewhat restrain him physically together with a few of the servants in the household or else he'll just disturb the doctors who are trying to help his darling. The whole household is affected by this because everyone looked forward to this day and most likely started counting Shuu's darling as official family as well as the little girls in her stomach. It just hits everyone hard, but Mirumo tries to stay as the head of the family strong, for the darling as well as Shuu who is suffering unbearable pain at the moment. Shuu just can't imagine a life without his darling, he's fallen too deep into obsession and doesn't want to live without his darling either, especially now that he thought he might have a happy family. His father tries to help him as much as possible, though he is deeply worried himself since he as well was happy with the thought of being able to meet his little granddaughters. But he also has faith in the people he hired. He chose them for a reason.

🍷Everyone is able to let a paused and long breath out the moment news spread around that Shuu's darling survived and the twins are healthy as well, and in case of you being a human rare half-ghouls. And no one can blame Shuu exactly if he just storms over to his darling, pushing everyone away just to see them after having gone through hours of enduring her screams and having to live with the thought that he might lose everything. He just cries for a long time, though now at the very least he cries tears of pure relief as well as happiness when he finally gets to hold his little daughters with whom he falls madly in love in less than a second. He afterwards doesn't want to leave your side, starting to feel incredibly uneasy if he isn't near you or his daughters. He blames himself for having put you through all of this, though definitely not blaming his baby girls for it and ends up doing everything for you. The servants offer to help him, but he just refuses since he wants to do everything for you now himself. But after some time peace will find it's way back into the manor with the lovely addition of Shuu's two new princesses who will be shamelessly pampered by pretty much everyone.

Ryōta Kise

✨He would later on be very much into having children, though that wasn't always the case because when he was younger, he used to be possessive surprisingly much over his darling, not ready to share her with anyone else, not even family members. It wasn't like he forbid you to spend time with your family, but he also expected you to spend afterwards especially much time with him or else he grew a bit more overbearing. He was even back then already so incredibly needy for affection from his darling.

✨It was after some years had passed on that he started considering the thought of having a real family with his darling. He still was somewhat unsure, knowing that a child would need very much attention which he didn’t really like sharing. He loved your attention the most when on him. It wouldn’t be unless he would see you for the first time interacting with children, seeing how you care for them before suddenly this thought hits him that this could be your child. It’s at first really just a random thought, but it’ll manifest itself in Kise’s brain until it’s engraved there and he is somewhat enamored with the thought of having his own child with you.

✨Wouldn't that be somewhat like the ultimate sign of love? Having a child which is the enbodiment of your and his love? And wouldn't he/she be a pure cutie? These are the thoughts which will lead him into quickly starting to talk with you about the topic children and starting a family. He wouldn’t force you at the beginning, understanding to a certain point that you might be more unsure about it which is why he’s fine with only trying to talk you into it as well. He does get more pushy with it over time, but despite anything he would never force it into you because even he with his delusions understands that this can have a very heavy affect on how you’ll raise the child and Kise wants a happy family which is the reason why he is willing to wait, though you’ll realize at a certain point that he is somewhat desperate to have a child, wanting to be able to fulfill one of his dreams he has with you.

✨The media is bound to find out about your pregnancy, no matter how much Kise tries to hide it. Because whilst he is definitely always ready to use his fame and his popularity to blackmail you into certain things, it is something different in here. The spotlight can be annoying for him as well, especially if it interferes with his time he could have with you. And he plans on spending a lot of time with his darling when he finally finds out that she is indeed pregnant which makes him totally joyful. And instead of flashing lights and questions about when the baby will be born, he knows what you and him need now is time alone to indulge into everything regarding the child and birth and he finds himself growing really fond of the baby and the thought of being a father. He’s excited and really does act sometimes like an impatient puppy regarding the birth of his kid.

✨Has a whole freaking hospital wing reserved for his darling the moment her contractions start and most likely rushed with her to the hospital the moment her water broke down, avoiding all sorts of paparazzis on his way. He really was excited at first which changed in the blink of an eye when he noticed how all the staff seemed to start getting a bit more hasty and desperate and adding up with the fact that you seemed to have extreme troubles as well as being in extremely much pain, he was all too quickly brought down, instead fear starting to fill all of his senses. Kise just wasn’t expecting this, he was too caught up in his own happiness and never considered the fact that something like this could happen. He did paid after all a whole team of professionals for this and for this will snap at them in the most scariest way possible and with the most unnerving look he could possibly give someone. It’s frightening and due to him getting extremely unhinged the doctors will have to ask him at one point to leave the room, ending with having to force him out because he refuses to leave. And as soon as he's seperated from his darling, the anger temporarily fades away ans is instead met with despair which will lead to him knocking whatever happens to be near him over and spilling hot and anxious tears.

✨It’s one of the very few times where he’ll go as far as even intimidating the public instead of only showing this side to people when they’re alone. Reason is that because as soon as news spread out that you nearly died whilst given birth to a healthy boy, some people will be insensitive enough and want to ask you and your husband questions about this accident. And this is just such a huge no for Kise, it was a traumatizing experience and will be the easiest way to trigger him in the future and he refuses to share this event with anyone else. He most likely even already threatened the doctors to keep their mouth shut and also has so much more important things to do than answering interviews and questions. He takes afterwards just a break until he feels convinced that you have regained enough energy to do things yourself and he himself has calmed down enough to face the cameras again. He wants to spend time with you and his son just now because the knowledge that he could have lost both is something he will remember in his deepest dreams. But no matter how many years pass by, whenever someone asks him about this topic, the look in his eyes changes in a chilling way.

Shintarō Midorima

⭐Midorima strikes me as a more classic guy, meaning he has the same classic dream which would be having one day a family with his darling, after marrying her that is. It's actually ridiculous how early on he decides that he wants to have all of this with you and he knows that as well which is why he never told you anything about this whilst you two used to be younger. He might have talked about marriage, but not about the topic children. You two were still too young and yet he was rather busily already thinking about it all.

⭐But there have to be a couple of fulfilled conditions until he would actively try to talk you into the topic of children. The timing is important and I am not talking only about the goddamn horoscopes of his, though he would certainly try more active if they say it's a good time to try. But next to that both of you have to be old enough and responsible to raise a child, you two have to be financially stable so you care for all the coming necessities. But most importantly would be that you would have to want to start a family with him as well because he won't do anything as long as he isn't sure you're fine with this as well.

⭐️But if you do agree and tell him you want a family as well, there’s nothing stopping him from trying anymore and he is really thoroughly with everything. Most likely has informs himself when you have your most prolific days and he doesn’t care if this comes over as creepy or not, he just has decided that he wants a family and you were okay with it either. He also has literally already made pans for the education for the child and when and where they will attend school, even though he plans on talking with you about this later on. He also makes of course a great deal about on which date they will be born and which zodiac sign they'll have because it could influence their whole life a lot. That means as soon as you two find out that you are pregnant, he instantly tries figuring out which zodiac sign his child will be born under. At the same time he starts to read himself intensely into books of labor pain, pregnancy, the embryo and the topic of giving birth and he works himself pretty up with it.

⭐He finds himself becoming pretty much the caretaker of you during the following months because whilst he isn’t that overprotective that he babies you, he definitely started stepping more in whenever you tried to do something which required a bit more power than your currently swollen body could handle. He also visits the hospital often with you, checking if the baby is healthy and fine and also organizing how everything will go the moment he brings you into the hospital months before it is happening. At home he’s also busily choosing names with you and also introducing his plans of the future education of the child to you which makes you shake your head since no normal parent thinks that structured before the child is even born. He will also get a lot of calls from his teammates since everyone wants to meet the future parents and he always rejects these calls gladly, at least until Takao and the rest popped randomly up in front of his house and he had to let them in.

⭐️He has planned all of this months ago so he has actually faith that everything will go well unless your and his horoscope told him that today something catastrophic will happen. That would make him make him more tensed up, always fearing that anytime something will go terribly wrong and he just dearly wishes that today the horoscope will be wrong which wouldn’t be the case. It isn’t like Midorima doesn’t try to stay calm, but he just ends up failing miserably and it is visible for everyone. Her shaking physically, breath slightly erratic, trying to desperately prevent himself from hyperventilating whilst at the same time pretty much snapping at everyone to somehow help him, the panic audible. It isn’t like he didn’t read about this, he most likely did, but he just knows that he doesn’t possess the necessary experience. So he is the one who manages to think the most calmest and leave the room when the nurses ask him to, knowing that he’ll end up being more of a nuisance than help. He just sits somewhere outside, heavy silence filling the air with him overthinking everything he did and asking if he could have done something differently. He’s scared out of his mind.

⭐️He kind of tries not to cry, but he is bound to cry out of relief when the doctor tell him that everything went barely alright and you’re out of any life-threatening danger and that the baby is healthy. Similar to Kise he refuses to talk afterwards with anyone about it since it makes him lose his cool and he kind of expects people to know that it’s incredibly impolite to talk about something like this and it ends with him impolitely talking down to whoever asked him, even if it’s a friend of his. Coming to the topic of friends, he doesn’t let anyone inside the house for a very long while, not wanting to risk someone carrying something inside which might attack your already weak immune system. To other people it might seem like this all didn’t affect him too greatly, but in reality it’s quite the opposite because he literally can’t fall asleep for a long time afterwards, the thought that you and his daughter might have both died haunting him and it ends with you having to calm him down a bit since he starts overthinking this all too much.

[mars-onthe-moon]

hey what our some fandoms you're in but haven't made art of yet recently?

Literally all of them XD

I love so many things but then only end up drawing GF. It’s like the Midas touch, but worse.

I just started the Netflix Bee and Puppy cat! It’s amazing! I rewatched the YouTube series for the millionth time and then started the Netflix, and I’m really liking it.

I also started watching The Arcane. I love the art and the story, wouldn’t say I’m in the fandom, but I appreciate the show.

I guess I’ll just make a list of fandoms I’m in or stalk from time to time.

Cartoons:

Gravity Falls

The Owl House

Bee and Puppy Cat

Adventure time (need to start distant lands)

Over The Garden Wall (mandatory watch in the fall)

Bob’s Burgs

Rick and Morty

Cuphead and Mugman (video game and cartoon… I have like, too many of the pops, love the art to death)

Steven universe (need to start Future, or else my OCD will never let me rest in peace)

Avatar the last Airbender (I watch the whole series like every two yrs, need to finish Legends of K tho)

Helluva Boss (I keep an eye on ‘Hazbin’, I think there is like a legit show in the works, but Helluva is actually great and I would die for most of the characters unlike ‘Hotel.’)

There’s a butt ton more I know I’m missing. I think it’s safe to say cartoons are my fav media so I’ve probably watched most of them or plan on it.

Anime:

I’m such an anime slacker, so like I’ve probably heard of it, but it’s because it’s on my watch list and I’ve never gotten around to it… so here are my comfort animes.

Anything Hayao Miyazaki or studio G

Soul eater

Mob Psycho 100

Tokyo Ghoul

Ouran Host club

Kill la Kill

Kakegurui

Other:

The Arcana - A dating sim video game which I love waaaaaaay too much (I own the art book and tarot cards, btw totally worth it). It has a lot of great representation! …. And my husband Lucio… Who is totally not evil and hot and the reason I question my sanity and sexuality.

MadK - which is a very dark BL manga… obvi NSFW, but it’s amazing. The art is beautiful and the plot is fr interesting and I need the third book like now, because I gotta know how this is gonna end.

The Banquet - a web comic (tho u can get hard copies and exclusive nfsw art books through Patreon). It’s gay and cute and about demons and we stan.

Nightvale - Yo. I tried to do the podcasts in like middle school. They were fun but like, too many, I never finished. But the books are fire so I really like them, they have the same feel, mention OG characters, but have plot and stuff. - In that same vibe….

Alice isn’t dead. It’s another book by Joseph Fink and has that surreal nightvale vibe, but toned down a little, also mc is a lesbian so, finger snaps. (Now that im looking at his books he has a lot more so brb while I spend money I don’t have.)

Undertale will always be in my heart, and I need to play delta rune chpt 2.

So yeah! Thats the stuff im into atm, or have been within the past few yrs. Some more then others, but mostly everything here is what I try to stay up to date on. I also always have the ghosts of superwholockian and bronies past looming over me… but we all have our demons. And if I ever vanish, know that they got to me and I’m rewatching all of Doctor Who because I stopped at the 12th doctor and there’s like a fourteenth one now? And I does’s have to know.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCVI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

And You are not here... (Part IV)

(13x05)

Hello my friends! How are you? We arrived to the episode in which Castiel comes back. Yay!

Okay, Dean will be particularly suicidal in this one, and we will have a lot of foreshadows for the incoming possesion.

So, let's talk about this...

Dr. Meadows and The Open Door

The ghost of Dr. Meadows was a blatant foreshadow of AU!Michael. They wore the same apron, experimented with people and monsters and also, the doctor made lobectomies and literally, git inside the patients' heads. Is a symbolism for what Michael will do with Dean.

Look at the doctor...

(gif credit @aborddelimpala)

Yep, the same apron and he burns... Just like Michael will do.

Also this scene...

(gif credit @celestialsonata7 )

The masks, different mask the crazy doc wore, are a symbolism of the different faces Michael will take through season 14.

Another clue of how the season 14 will go, is this tiny dialogue between the two boys at the beginning of the episode, before trying to get inside the Dr. A Meadows Mental Health Center.

Evan: I told you it’d be unlocked.

Shawn: Why would they leave it open?

Leaving the door open, will be seen again in episode 14x02, and it plays a symbolic foreshadow for what will happen with Dean, Michael will leave him but then, he will possesse him again in 14x09. "Leaving the open door for the second possession."

So, if we follow this same statement, we can say Shawn is Dean here. He represents Dean after being possesed, the PTSD.

Penny: Shawn, he….won’t talk. He can’t.

Sam: What do you mean?

Penny: The doctors say…he’s okay physically, that it’s psychological. You know, trauma, like he…he…saw some – saw something so…awful. God I don’t even know what he was doing out that late.

This is a representation of how Dean will be trying to face all the whirlwind of feelings and trauma after Michael leaves him. The kid is muted, just like Dean will avoid talking about the possession. And Shawn draws obssesively, the doc's masks, as Dean will be obssesed in kill Michael after being possesed. (14x03).

Then...

Penny: And, uh, Evan, he’s still missing. Uh… He, Shawn, and their friend Mike Ramos, they’re inseparable.

This is how TFW will be separated because of Michael.

We have another visual narrative clue in Shawn's room, when his mother gets in because he was having a nightmare.

There's a pic on his wall, and is a foreshadow of this scene from 14x04...

The picture shows a red background and a terrifying silhouette of a person. The entire room is Dean's mind. The red color talks about his toxicity. The monster is Michael/John Winchester and his own fears, guilts and toxic behavior, like violence.

The mother is wearing green, as a reminder of Dean Winchester's innocence, usually Scooby Doo represents that too.

The monster doc appears inside of his dreams (head) and also in his own room, as a foreshadow of Michael looking though Dean's eyes, and his possesion.

Dr. Meadows appears in his room, literally possesse the kid, he grabs the mask and put it on his face! Is a blatant symbolism of AUMichael!Dean! and they leave the house. Just like Michael will do with Dean at the end of the season. And also, the meaning of Shawn that escapes the first time but not the second one, is talking about the dynamics of season 14: Michael will leave, Dean will be free just for a few days, before being possesed again, more strongly than before, in season 9.

Suicidal Dean and Sam trying to cheer him up.

If we recall the previous episode, Sam was very shocked because his brother confessed to him he didn't have faith anymore.

At the beginning of the episode we had this dialogue between Sam and Dean...

Sam: Hey

Dean: Hey

Sam: PB&J for breakfast? Strong work.

Dean: Yep.

Well, we all know who was the one telling us that PB&J sandwich was his favorite, right? So... This is not a new observation, but that little clue over there is screaming DEAN MISSES CAS.

So we will have a very cheerful Sammy, giving Dean beer in the morning, pushing him to go to a strip house, and literally, trying to give his brother every usual item he runs into when he is depressed for losing people. He even let Dean being under the number of Agent Page. Their fav.

When Dean sees this, he faves his brother, asking him why he's been so nice to him.

Dean: Okay. Look, I-I’ve been down this road before and I fought my way back. I will fight my way back again.

Sam: How?

Dean: Same way I always do – bullets, bacon, and booze. [Rings front desk bell] A lotta booze.

This is very important, because Billie will refute it in this same episode...

So Dean eats a lot of bacon and stuffs, he drinks a lot, and he even goes to the strip house. But all is fake.

They had their first encout er with Dr. Meadows... And this alarming scene is showed to us...

(Gif credit @smartiespn )

Dean wanted to die here. He wasn't fighting back. He was accepting his death. Why? Is he so affected by Castiel's death and Mary that he wants to die? But why because of Mary, he had lost parents before, John, Bobby, and his convo of bullets, booze and sex worked back then. But why isn't working now? Because the variable her is CASTIEL. He lost the love of his life and nothing will be fine again. SO DEAN WANTS TO DIE BECAUSE CAS DIED. The convo would work with Mary but not with Castiel.

Then, Dean plans a suicidal way out to save the ghosts. He does it so quick, Sam can't react to it. Dean literally kills himself in front of Sam.

The dialogue between Billie and Dean shows again that Dean is in so bad shape, he doesn't want to live, he changed after Castiel's dead. He won't recover of losing the love of his life, his faith. He knows Sam can move on from him. He is able to keep going. But Dean wants to stop. Because Castiel is dead.

Dean: So… am I dead?

Billie: You killed yourself.

Billie is pointing at Dean's suicidal behavior with that plan, because this time is different.

Dean: No. Are you keeping me dead?

Billie: Now that depends on you.

Billie is saying this because she is supecting Dean is different. Dean wanted this. So she tastes waters.

After this there's a negotiation, because Billie wants to know about the AU, because is very important to balance. And the Winchesters just keep bringing chaos.

But Dean exchanges the freedom of the ghosts from the Meadows House for information, the ghosts are released but the deal caught Billie's attention that when she asked for WHAT DEAN REALLY WANTED, Dean choose the ghost and not come back to life.

Billie: Because I do. Because…this whole multi-versal quantum construct we live in, it’s like a house of cards. And the last thing I need is some big, dumb Winchester knocking it all down.

This is important because we do know now Billie hated Dean for this.

Then, the truth is revealed...

Billie: You’ve changed. When you bargained with me just now, you could’ve asked to go back, to live.

Dean: Well, I figured with you in charge, there’s no getting back for me.

Billies faces him with her suspicions, but Dean lies.

Billie: That doesn’t sound like the Dean Winchester I know and love. The man who has been dead so many times but it never seems to stick. Maybe you’re not that guy anymore, they guy who saves the world, the guy who always thinks he’ll win no matter what. You have changed. And you tell people it’s not a big deal. You tell people you’ll work through it but you know you won’t, you can’t and that scares the hell out of you. Or… am I wrong?

(Gif set credit @justjensenanddean )

Dean's silence confirms Billies suspicions. Dean's silence is affirming she just read his mind. He won't be okay, never again. Because this time is different, this time Castiel is dead, forever dead, and he really believe Cas won't come back. Life lost its meaning to him.

Dean: What do you want me to say? Doesn’t matter. I don’t matter.

Billie: Don’t you?

Dean really want to stay dead. He is so sad and lost, he doesn't want to live anymore. Nothing matters if Castiel is gone.

Dean: I couldn’t save Mom. I couldn’t save Cas. I can’t even save a scared little kid. Sam keeps trying to fix it, but I just keep dragging him down. So I’m not going to beg. Okay, if it’s my time, it’s my time.

Dean even is feeling guilty because Sam had lost his faith in the previous episode, and because now he is very worried about him.

Billie: You really believe that. [Dean shakes his head yes] You wanna die. Dean…every notebook on this particular shelf tells a version of how you die. You specifically, heart attack, burned by a red-haired witch, stabbed by a ghoul in a graveyard, and on and on. But which one’s right? That depends on you, on the choices you make.

Dean: Well, I guess I made my choice.

Here people, here! Billie makes the diagnosis and confirms his suspicious. Dean wants to be dead. And then she gave a him again the opportunity of come back to life, but Dean doesn't want to come back. He wants to remain dead! He's sure about it! He confirms it again when he says I GUESS I MADE MY CHOICE.

Billie: But…unfortunately none of these books say you die today.

The word unfortunately is not just for her but for him too. Because Dean really wants to be dead.

After this revealing and scaring dialogue, we were shown how deep Dean was into his depression for losing Castiel.

Then, another sad dialogue with his brother...

Sam: You okay?

Dean: No. Sam, I’m not okay. I’m pretty far from okay. You know, my whole life, I always believed that what we do was important. No matter what the cost, no matter who we lost, whether it was Dad or – or Bobby or –. And I would take the hit. But I kept on fighting because I believed that we were making the world a better place. And now Mom and Cas… And I – I don’t know. I don’t know.

Sam: So now you don’t believe anymore.

Dean: I just need a win. I just need a damn win.

Dean is tired, and now he has to live, without Cas, in the real world, and he's tired.

But then... And because "Cas wanted to come back to him with a win" and Dean had just asked for win, Castiel comes back to him. Castiel is his win.

The face Dean puts when he receives Castiel's call is priceless. He is in shock, he can't reply, he can't talk. Is a mix of feelings. He can't believe Cas is alive.

Then the encounter, adorned as if it was a wedding, or how some people described, a parallel to Romeo and Juliet encounter, with the Sam cross as the witness, and the song playing in the background, exhaustively analyzed, "It's not too late to start all over again."

(Gif set credit @codestielckles )

To Conclude:

This episode was magnificently written by Yockey, it was full of symbolism that pointed out to foreshadows to season 14, Michael and Dean's possesion.

But it also showed us how deep was Dean's depression, and which was the real cause of it: CASTIEL PERMANENT DEAD, the idea of not getting him back made Dean's life to lose its meaning. He didn't want to be alive in a world where Cas wasn't there.

Hope you like this meta. See you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read my previous metas from season 13 here you have the links:

Vol. XCIII, XCIV, XCV

Buenos Aires, January 10th 2021 1:03 PM

[riotfuckery]

Love takes some work

A/N: Hello it’s me, your neighborhood big tiddy goth gf and lowkey weeb. Uhhh I just want to thank all of you for reading this and I hope you enjoy my trash writing! Anyways, enjoy my Shinso fluff . Also shoutout to some but not limited to my fav writers to help me get inspired to write again after many years. Sending lots of love and good vibes to all of you @ikinabi @kiriwhore-sama @shinsouzone @adoringwords @birds-have-teeth @kingtamakimurder @meganshinsou-tm @trafalgar-temptress @queensynderella @lady-bakuhoe

Shinso Hitoshi was in love. Madly and irrecoverably in love. From your shiny (h/c) hair to the ugly cackle you have when you laugh at your friends antics. He loved everything about you with every fiber of his being. But life isn’t so kind as to give us what we want, we have to work for it.

His love for you started one late night in the common area of the dorms. He was up with his usual bout of insomnia and took a break from looking at memes on his phone to make himself a cup of tea in the kitchen. That’s where he found you waiting in the kitchen for the water to boil to make your own tea. You heard his footsteps and turned to face him.

“Hey Shinso, what are you doing up so late?” you asked softly, as to try not to wake anyone up but still loud enough for him to hear across the kitchen. You were dressed in a fluffy pair of cat pj pants and a oversized black plain shirt.

“I should be asking you the same question” he asked, his tone more gravelly than normal but not missing the sass.

“That’s fair, well I’m making a cup of tea since I can’t sleep, how about you?” You answer especially interested in hearing his response.

“I was actually about to do the same thing so I guess I’ll wait till you’re done so I can make mine” he said

“Well I put in enough water for two cups so come on over and pick your tea” you smiled at him while you turned to get your own choice of tea and mug.

He gave a you a shy smile and put a hand to the back of his neck before he walked till he was next to you. He chose a simple green tea with a cat mug and set it down on the counter next to yours.

“So what’s got you up so late?” You asked. Your lidded sleepy eyes and slightly messy hair from rolling around in bed made his heart beat a little faster than normal.

‘What the fuck? Why is she so cute? Also not hesitating to answer as well’. His mind was racing a million miles an hour but just pushed it off as being sleep deprived.

“Oh, ya know the usual bought of insomnia” he replied with a slight grin. You on the other hand were looking at him in the same way, little to his knowledge. The amethyst eyes that were excentuated by his seemingly permanent dark circles and even messier bedhead put you in a daze where you could only focus on him.

You snapped out of it quickly, much to your dismay when you realize you had to reply to him. “I feel that” you giggled quietly. “It’s actually nice having someone to talk to late at night instead of questioning my own sanity at 3am” you looked up at him with a gentle smile. Just then the electric tea kettle clicked off, signaling it’s done it’s job.

You gracefully grabbed the tea kettle with a hum, pouring Shinso and yourself water into the mugs. He said a small thanks and went to stir his own tea while you did the same. You were humming “everything stays” from adventure time while you put in your add ons.

Shinso was silent, quietly listening to your humming with a small genuine smile on his face. You stopped humming and turned to look at him shyly “hey uhm, if you don’t plan on going to bed immediately, do you wanna hang out for a bit?” You asked him, suddenly being painfully aware of how attractive he really is under the low lighting of the kitchen. You cursed yourself for being nervous and cursed the small blush you can feel on your cheeks while taking a sip from your tea to hopefully hide it.

Saying he was caught off guard was the best way to put it. He was hit with the tidal wave of realization that you, the cutest and kindest girl in class 1-A who didn’t hesitate to speak to him despite his quirk or his class wide announcement that he wasn’t here to make friends, just asked him to hang out?????

He hesitated for a moment, thinking it was some kind of prank or get at him to do a favor for you but when he looked at your shiny doe-like e/c eyes that held no bit of maliciousness or hate toward him, the walls that he put up to protect himself from getting getting hurt started to crumble.

Crack

“Sure if that’s alright with you” he responded in his signature deep and lazy tone. Your eyes twinkled for a moment and he swears he could hear the cracks the cracks in his walls getting bigger.

Crack crack

“Of course it is Shinso, I always thought you were really cool and you seem like a great person so I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to” you smiled up at him. His heart rate that had seemingly just calmed down came back with a vengeance. He was wondering if you could hear it from where you were.

He blushed at the comment and shyly put his hand on his neck once again. He was thankful you hadn’t called him out on it. You started to walk over to the common room couches and he followed. You plopped down then patted the space next to you on the couch with a playful smile.

It was from then on, your late night couch talks with tea and whatever dumb show on the lowest volume setting possible became special to him and you. You were always waiting in the kitchen with the kettle going when Shinso showed up. The more you talked the closer you became. He could practically hear and feel his walls crumbling down whenever you were around him.

Crack

Crack

Crack

It was soon that you exchanged numbers and even sooner that you considered each other best friends. Talking about everything to horror movies and tv shows to the meaning of life. But no matter how much you were together, the late night couch talks were always your guys’ favorite. You both even indulged in platonic cuddle sessions while hoping the other couldn’t hear the racing hearts and see the small blushes that were happening.

Soon enough he couldn’t go to sleep without some sort of physical contact from you. So when one night you were MIA from your late night couch talk and cuddle session, he sent you a text asking if you were okay and when he got no response he panicked. He sneakily rushed his way to your room and knocked on your door softly. When he got no reply but only heard the sounds of sniffles is when he hesitantly tried the door to see it was unlocked.

He stepped in quickly and shut the door behind him quietly. That’s where he saw you curled up on the floor trying to hide your sobbing from the world and himself. He quickly rushed over and sat in front of you. You gasped and looked at him with dull eyes for a moment before looking to the side away from him. His heart was aching at the sight of your puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. He himself wanted to cry but he held it in for you.

Your quirk, ghoul (shoutout to Tokyo Ghoul) was considered very powerful but very volatile. It would go haywire whenever you were angry. Your eyes turning black with a red pupil and red veins around it. You would also sprout bright blue wings made of what looked like water tended to spread and shot arrow like darts to take down opponents. Your nails would sharpen to claws and teeth would sharpen into fangs along with a boost in your strength, speed, and reflexes. After years of training and you have great control of your wings but not your eyes and nails.

He knew what people said about your quirk as people said the same thing about his. He knew that it would get you down sometimes but you would always brush it off with a smile while always defending him in return. They called you a demon and a monster. One look from your black and red eyes had most people snap their mouths shut. He’s never seen you like this though, so when he saw you looking so broken his heart shattered for you.

“H-hey kitty, what’s wrong?” He cursed himself for stuttering and panicking in front of his crush. The tears were still freely falling while you were trying to hold in your sobs. He moved his hands to your face while wiping away the tears with his thumbs. You still refused to look at him. He took a deep breath and tried to steady himself.

He tried again “Kitty, you can tell me what’s wrong, I’m here for you okay?” You took a deep breath and held his hands on your face, nuzzling into them for a second before you looked at him. Your eyes were in ghoul mode and your nails were sharp as the tears were still streaming but you were no longer sobbing. He lovingly stroked circles on your cheeks and looked at you patiently with a small smile on his face. He didn’t flinch or widen his eyes at your change.

You took another deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. “Some kids called me a monster and that no one would every willingly love me without being simultaneously being terrified of me, they said I would be alone for the rest of my life. And I know they say that all the time but today it was just too much. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life and I especially don’t want to scare you away because you’re my best friend and I can’t imagine my life without you Toshi” the fear in your voice was breaking through and by the end the tears started again.

You could see him getting angrier but not at you, at those dumbass punks. He never stopped wiping your tears and he waited patiently for you to finish.

He was angry, so incredibly angry by the way his muscles tensed and his eyebrows furrowed. But the soft and loving look in his eyes never waived from yours. “Kitty, you’re my best friend and I plan to stay in your life forever. So you’re stuck with me till you kick the bucket okay?” He relaxed when he saw you smile shyly and nod your head a little. He was never great with words so he did what he did best and used his actions to say what he needed to say.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead which caused both of you to blush. Thankfully it was dark so both of you couldn’t see pink tinting each others cheeks. He moved his hands from your face and held one of your hand with his, interlacing your fingers together. “Cmon kitty lets go to bed, I’m sure you could use some rest.” He spoke gently. He guided you to your bed and pulled you down with him.

He released his hand and you moved so your head was on his chest. He put his arm around you and held you closer while playing with your soft hair, gently combing through it and petting it. He laid his head back on your pillow and reveled in the feeling of you so close to him, your hair smelled like f/s and felt so silky in his rough and calloused hand. You intertwined your legs with his on instinct and wrapped your free arm around his waist sleepily. The gentle (but fast) steady beating of his heart lulling you to sleep almost immediately. What you said said next make his pink cheeks red and the tips of his ears burn.

“Thank you so much for everything Toshi, for being you being you and for pulling me out of my meltdown. I love you so much.” Your voice was heavy with sleep and it sounded like music to his ears. He didn’t have the time to say it back as he heard your soft even breaths and your light snores. His chest was about to burst from the joy and relief he felt. Tiny happy tears stung the corners of his lavender eyes and he took another deep breath of steady himself as a wide grin overtook his face.

SHATTER

The walls had broke fully now, all his love for you came pouring out like a broken dam. His dreams of being with you now having a chance to become real. He kissed your forehead for the second time that night, the grin still on his face now down to a sweet smile. “I love you too kitty, I’ll be here in the morning when you wake up. I’ll always be here for you” and with that he kept petting your hair until he too fell asleep. And it was some of the best sleep he’s ever gotten.

[filthyjanuary]

2, 15, 19, 24

2. Fave love interest

tbh one-ep characters always had more chemistry with sam and dean than like trying to do it for longer than than because any time the writers tried, the woman became A Love Interest™ and got boring fast. so like my fav dean love interest was EASILY cassie from route 666, and for sam i am big fond of jess obviously, but also sarah from provenance and madison from heart!! 

tbh if it had been written less poorly, one-sided d*stiel could’ve probably compelled me but the writing is so bad and i thought megstiel was cute so probably meg for cas if we’re including him in this question.

15. Thoughts on Wayward Sisters as a whole (not just the one ep)

i think there was a lot of potential, but i think the execution could’ve been better. they should’ve developed patience a lot more and i hate that they killed missouri for her storyline. donna and jody should’ve been firefighters or park rangers or something. i worry alex would’ve suffered from the late season sam treatment. to be honest i think it just needed a little more development to really have potential because i struggled to see what they set up lasting more than a season or two. but i really did love the concept of jody especially healing from the loss of her family by finding a new one and the girls finding a new home with her too. like it /could’ve/ been the found family show everyone keeps thinking supernatural is.

oh also....instead of KILLING MAGDA they should’ve made her one of jody’s girls!!!!!!

19. Most uncomfortable moments throughout the show for you?

the way it handles race in general is like....painfully bad. like it fails on every single level. i can’t think of a single character of colour that it executed /well/. 

any scene that like tonally seems to stick out in an episode because it’s obviously placed there for fan service and not because it make sense, those always make me cringe. 

there are certain bloody moments that still make me wanna d*e because i’m a weenie, including but not limited to the plumber who gets his hand destroyed in the trash compactor in 1x09, the ghouls taking sam’s blood in 4x19, literally anything where i can imagine it happening to me... nope nope nope. i do credit supernatural for upping my tolerance for blood by a LOT though. i used to hide my eyes at most eps, and now there’s only a few where i still can’t do it.

obviously the big one here is how they constantly violate sam’s bodily autonomy in a way that is not addressed and that the writers clearly don’t care about. knowing jared had to work microexpressions and reactions into his scenes because the writers don’t care to address his trauma and that any dialogue that /would/ even begin to tackle it gets cut makes me so sick.

24. What do you think was ooc for tfw?

sam abandoning kevin in season eight!!! not my sam!!!!!!

dean not killing roy and walt in season 12 or at LEAST something more than ‘well it’s been 7 years guess i can put you killing me and my brother behind us’

castiel’s confession in 15x18... like again i think the premise could’ve gone somewhere but the execution is so abhorrent. you’re telling me dean was fully going to kill jack and cas just completely brushes off the attempted murder of his son to call dean the most loving man in existence or whatever???? like... i don’t even /like/ cas and i’m mad on his behalf. dean tried to kill his son multiple times!!!!!!!

send me supernatural asks

[btaffy02]

Home

This is a songfic from Anakin Skywalker's point of view leading up to him turning to the dark side to the song home by cavetown. Hope you enjoy it :)

“Often i am upset that i cannot fall in love but i guess, this avoids the stress of falling out of it.”

I think Padme has caught feelings for me. If so, the feeling is mutual. But it can't be, she's a literal angel and I'm an orphaned jedi. Even if it is love, she would never get with me because it's against the law.

“Are you tired of me  yet? I'm a little sick right now but I swear, When i'm ready I'll fly us out of here.”

How can I make her happy? Should I listen to Palpatine? Will power truly make us happy? I could give her everything. I don't understand why Obi-Wan underestimates me. Does he question his teaching or does he question my learning ability. I could show him that I could be the most powerful being in the entire universe but he says power and greed are traits of the dark side. I beg to differ though.

“I'll cut my hair, to make you stare.”

Padme says I make her uncomfortable when I look at her but how could I not? I get lost in her eyes in one conversation. Her skin is so soft and warm. I often find myself wondering how she feels. She acts like she wants this, us. But she acts like she has to hide me like she's ashamed of her feelings for me. I'd do anything for her, just to be seen by her.

“I'll hide my chest and I'll figure out a way to get us out of here.”

I can't stop thinking about her. Or the overwhelming need to satisfy her. I can feel the need for power rising inside of me more and more every day. I know i should fight it but i feel trapped. Like I can't, there's no stopping it. Me and Padme are closer than ever and while I feel happy I feel claustrophobic from these dominating thoughts. Soon enough we shall be free.

“Turn off your porcelain face. I can't really think right now and this place has too many colors, enough to drive all of us insane.”

I meet her in the abandoned Naboo castle in secret. “Oh ani how i've missed you.” she says throwing her arms around me. I squeeze her tightly, “I've missed you too Padme more than you know.” she says nothing, instead she places her hands on my face and pulls me in close. Our lips touch. Is this what love feels like? I put my hands on her waist. The kiss doesn't last very long because we have little time to talk before someone comes looking for her. She smiles at me and we return to base. 

“Are you dead? Sometimes I think I'm dead cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head. But i don't want to fall asleep just yet.”

Time passes and I can't forget our kiss, our forbidden love. But the closer I get to Padme the more I think about the negative feelings invading my mind and heart. What I feel is best for Padme is not something I want to do or fall under. Sometimes I feel like I'm under a spell that no one can break, not even myself.

“My eyes went dark. I don't know where my pupils are, but i'll figure out a way to get us out of here.”

I haven't felt like myself lately. I'm listening to Palpatine, which master advises against. The senate is suspicious of him but i think theyre wrong. They don't know him like I do. He's a wise man with great ambition. He helps me embrace the “bad” thoughts I've been having. He says I need to adapt to them and they won't go away. I think he's right, if they aren't going to leave i might as well listen to them. He thinks I have the ability to lead an empire, the empire. I'm starting to think he is right. I believe this is the best thing for Padme, I can keep her safe forever this way. She can rule with me and never have to worry about anything ever again. We can be happy and raise our child. She's absolutely glowing, she looks as beautiful as ever pregnant.

(during this time anakin turns to the dark side. It takes place on mustafar during Revenge of the Sith.)

“Get a load of this monster, he doesn't know how to communicate. His mind is in a different place, will everybody please give her a little bit of space? But little do we know the stars welcome him with open…”

I see Padme's ship in the distance and run over to it. She runs into my arms and we hug. What is she doing out here? She says obi-wan has informed her that I have turned to the dark side. Is he trying to turn her against me? I'm doing this for her all of this. I could kill him right now. He can't take away the only thing that matters to me anymore, he cant take Padme. “Anakin, all i want is your love.” She says to me with fear and sadness in her eyes. “Love won't save you Padme, only my new powers can do that.” I love her but I know we won't survive on just love. “I am becoming more powerful than any jedi has ever dreamed of, and i'm doing it for you. To protect you.” I wish she could just see that. I don't want her to think this is for me, because it's not. It's for her, it's all for her. She puts her hands on my face, “Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can.” Her voice breaks a bit at the tip of the sentence. Doesn't she see? We don't have to run anymore. “I have brought peace to the republic. I am more powerful than the chancellor i-i can overthrow him,” She looks worried “and you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be.” I finish my sentence in hopes her expression will change but it gets worse. She backs away from me. Is this not what she wanted? She finally speaks, “I don't believe what I'm hearing. Obi-Wan was right. You've changed.” They are wrong, I haven't changed. And if i have it was for the better. He's feeding her lies about me that aren't true. “I don't know you anymore,” She begins to cry. “Anakin, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow.” Her sorrow grows into anger. I hate to see her cry. I didn't mean to upset her, I'm just trying to protect her before it's too late. I couldn't save my mother but I can save her. This is all Obis fault. He made her think these lies. I just wish she could understand I never meant to hurt her. 

“Get a load of this monster. He doesn't know how to communicate. His mind is in a different place, will everybody please give him a little bit of space?” 

It's too late. I've already turned. Maybe she's right. I have changed. But I know I can bring a new order to the galaxy and it will all be for her. She may not love me but I will always love her. I feel betrayed but at the same time, there's no turning back. I'm too far in. The republic would never accept me back. The only clear path is to the dark side.

“Get a load of this trainwreck, his hairs a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet. But little do we know the stars welcome him with open arms.”

I truly wish the best for padme. I always will. I hope she raises our child as best as possible. Whether they know me or not I wish the best for them too. I can't describe how i'm feeling right now. Anger at Obi-Wan, sorrow for Padme, it's all just mixed. Rage and sadness have taken over my soul. There's no escaping it. 

“Time is slowly tracing his face, but strangely he feels at home in this place.”

As the mask and suit are formed onto my body as I feel the burn from the lava where it pierced my skin I feel as though this is where I am now. I will never forgive myself but i have to make the best of things. Maybe this is where i'm supposed to be, i cannot tell.  Maybe this is home.

-sorry for an grammatical errors and also another songfic, theyre my fav <3