#trust me no one would be surprised
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Also, I fully believe, w/ all my heart, that all the people in the Twitch and YouTube chats hating on Crown Keepers are the worst people to play D&D w/
#Like y’all are not legally required to watch???#Just say you have nothing better to do on your Thursday night#trust me no one would be surprised#And this isn’t for normal ppl who maybe don’t like them#This is for the weirdos who were just actively being assholes to the table#You can make your feelings known w/o being an ass about it#critical role#criticalrole#critrole#crit role#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers
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slay the princess pristine cut spoilers etc
i was brainstorming with buddies on discord and started thinking about damsel ch3 having the blade with her, already pointed at her heart, then just started thinking about the blade as a tool.
i think about the blade so much. a cold reminder of your mission in this world, something so tiny that represents a huge wall between you, your ability to be willing to understand others, to understand yourself.
if you bring it with you you've chosen to take a defensive stance against something and someone you don't understand, but it's so comforting, it gives you options, it gives you control over any situation given you don't underestimate the person standing in front of you. even when you don't want it, when you think you don't need it, it will come back to you. a nagging feeling. you're given the option to be distrustful even when you don't literally have it in you, it's what you've been taught is safety, it hangs over your head and dangles above your heart at all times.
and in damsel ch3 it goes from a tool given weight by the role you're supposed to play, to the same thing but looming over her this time. the expectations of what you're supposed to want and what's best for the people around you and what keeps you grounded, the narrator sang the same tune before, and he hurt her and he hurt you. he hurt himself and his humanity in the process. and now he's taken the backseat and is forced to see how messed up that is by having the smitten be the one pulling the strings of the construct, someone with a perspective so different, but one that ends up hurting everyone all the same, even if he doesn't intend it to do so.
everyone is forced to look at themselves in the mirror.
carrying that blade is suffocating for anyone.
and now im thinking about mr. "let's throw it out the window" contrarian, the only voice you can bring to her heart along with the hero, someone that refused to engage with the narrative and someone that is well aware that his perspective is annoying and unneeded for its purposes.
and then he meets the whole of her, and she tells him about how his courage is beautiful. he's the part of the long quiet that knowingly or not, is more willing to throw aside any kind of logic in order to understand a situation in a way the rest don't want to, and he's *now* realizing that his existence is an important aspect to have.
#this is mostly copy pasted from my conversation with some new additions after having coffee and brainstorming some more lol#this isn't the only time the game has portrayed the blade as a sign of trust of course#thorn is all about that#but i wanted to talk about how this perspective hurts literally everyone in happily ever after#i could say a lot more about this but i think i got the point across!#one issue i had with HEA that was brought into my attention is the surprising lack of distrustful options you're given#i feel like a lot was sacrificed in order to clearly present the themes the route wanted to convey#which im fine with! the route is fantastic#but having those would've been nice imo#paranoid is literally there#feel free to fight me about it i would love to hear different perspectives in the notes#anyway too many tags wrap it up chop chop#slay the princess#slay the princess the pristine cut#melly.txt
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Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?
Sorry, just confused
I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he probably very irritating, absolutely, but an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would shock me. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).
#maya henry#blah blah blah#re the tiktok also lmaoooo are people really saying she wants money her family IS RICH like RICH RICH#but hot damn the part about enabling UH HUH !!!!!#yep yep yep#in terms of the other guys and what would shock me... well obviously we know Zayn has also had a history of agression#and we know WAY too much about him being pushy about sex lol#I would not be shocked to hear he crossed a line... but think he's probably just a bit of a fuckboy#I absolutely do not trust Niall behind closed doors but the songs we have about him seem to tell a pretty consistent story;#self absorbed but basically harmless#harry... who tf knows what he is like outside of being with Louis but I would be shocked to hear of him being aggressive yeah#I have a lot of issues with him but taking advantage of people or being pushy are not even on the radar#and as for Louis... like I said yeah it WOULD shock me. I don't just love him because he has a nice face!#it's BECAUSE of the ways we do know him and know what he's like. because of his tenderness and care#and his consistent kindness and love#and his openness about his private side#so yeah- it would shock the hell out of me it really would#but then I think that anon also was worried about eleanor spiling smth about their relationship so we are not coming from the same place#my kneejerk response was I'm sure he paid her on time what else are you worried about lol#although out of everyone if someone was going to say he lashed out at them I suppose it would be her#it was probably one of the most difficult and frought relationships in his life#and one that he did not want#so! but still no it doesn't worry me#tbh there was one thing in mayas video today that did surprise me which was the premeditation#Liam actually planning using the fans against people and sneaking around doing stuff#I guess even believing everythign I had chosen to paint a picture in my mind of someone who was still#basically unaware of the wrong they were doing and more flailing than plotting#and that shakes me a little. and makes me very unhappy to hear#liam discourse
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was very suddenly struck by a pokemon that arin would TOTALLY HAVE
#my art#fanart#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#arin ninjago#pkmn au#and he would evolve it into an appletun#not only bc its a pie pokemon but also because its the best applin evolution#trust me#also his meinfoo from last time#and a pawmo? just bc i thought it would fit#them being monotype trainers is a suggestion/not required#but i like the idea of arin having fighting type pokes. idk#btw. meinfoo is very happy about this development too. arin is surprised how little no one else can read her — isnt it obvious?
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lothelin & valisaldar for @muntjaak & @lauvley ❣️
#artists on tumblr#art#commission#procreate#tiefling#Hello I Thought This Would Never End#one thing abt me is that i will do my lineart just rubbing my lil fly hands together no care in the world just scribbling#and then approx 80yrs later i finish the lines and realize. beautiful girl. young prince. u have to fucking flat that LMAO#and then after several more years flatting it's like wait what do u mean i have to shade this now LOL#“whuh. Huh” <- me at every stage even tho this is my millionth rodeo 🤪#all to say thank u SO so much again to muntjak for the patience and trust!!!! incredibly sweet to be commissioned for a surprise gift!!!#thank u both also for all the quiet support over the years....... emotional
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(DC Comics February 1995, issue 68)
#spones#'unique bond' lol#spock's like doctor stonn asked me if i ever got over t'pring#mccoy: idk if i'm more surprised that he asked you or that you're telling me#spock: we have a unique bond doctor (who else would i talk about this with?)#and i'm troubled because i've never tried to quantify those feelings#mccoy: well a few years ago you'd never say a word. this is an improvement#spock: what caused this improvement?#mccoy: you said we shared consciousness#spock: you said don't remind me lol#tos nonsense#always love to see people acknowledging a unique bond between spock and mccoy <3#i'm gonna miss these 1990s comics. i'm slowly running out :(#since i also only read one author and skip the rest since i don't trust them
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Most Sherlock Holmes adaptations I've seen tend to place their Final Problem towards the mid point of the series (or even a bit earlier) - it's also in my opinion the best way of going about it, so you have time enough for the characters to adjust after the reunion but they know each other well enough for the events of Fina to be devastating.
Sherlock & Co is done with 20 of the adventures. How many are there? Fifty-something? Almost sixty? Let's say we'll be entering mid-point territory after the 25th story.
So let's pretend for a moment that we have 5 more stories until The Final Problem. Ok.
Estimating an adventure at 3 episodes each, that would mean little over 3 months - maybe 3 and a half? Starting, of course, from the end of Sign of Four, which will be somewhere in December.
So let's say 3, maybe 4 months into 2025. That would be, what? Late march, early april?
Early april?
John having to tell the listeners that Sherlock is dead, in early april?
Quick calendar searck reveals what I was praying it would - the 1st of april will be on a Tuesday next year.
So what I'm saying
What I'm saying is Sherlock &Co has the opportunity to do the funniest fucking thing
#fyi I don't mean John pranks us about Sherlock dying#i mean it's just the first Tuesday after sherlock “dies” so that's just when he happens to tell the listeners#maybe he's not even aware of the date#and is surprised to see the reactions are less “oh my god oh no” and more “haha good one” or “funny but actually don't joke about that”#ahhh and then he'd have to double down either on the 2nd or next Tuesday and explain again that his best friend is actually dead#oh that would hurt but it would also be absolutely hilarious#for us who know Sherlock's not actually dead#anywayy#for the record i don't actually think they'll do fina as early as april#(but wouldn't it be funny)#They might do it at the actual midpoint#after the 29th story so let's say june/ july#Hoping they don't place it too late cuz then we won't have enough time to see how it affects all of them#Even if it's around the 3/4 point i think I'd be a bit bummed#Also midpoint is a good place to take a break#Of course fear nr 1 is leaving it for the very end and making empt the last episode#and the reason why the podcast ends is “look what happened if it wasn't for the podcast maybe Moriarty wouldn't have noticed Sherlock”#Like a “it's becoming too dangerous” thing#but that's the evil timeline (not us!!!)#Honestly if it were me I'd make fina the midpoint.... then hiatus...... return...... second half......#and then get another big dangerous villain for the last few eps#Maybe one of them (sherlock) almost gets killed (again) and that's why john decides that#it's been swell but we're ending the podcast cause apparently we're putting (too big of) a target on our backs#Almost lost sherlock again the risks outweigh the benefits etc etc#Of course they'll keep solving crimes together just stop broadcasting them to the world#And that's how I'd do it! :D#God i can't be trusted with tags#If you read this far I love you#sherlock & co#theories
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Not Dead
(A Saving Grant Ward AU)
"Come on, Hill." Grant's face hurts, and he's tired. "Why'd you pull me out of the field? I mean, it wasn't for a history lesson."
Maria Hill looks away for a moment, takes a deeper breath than maybe necessary, says quietly, "You'll have to ask Coulson."
Grant stiffens, the cold finger of her words tracing still-tender scars, and he thins his lips, answers sharp. "Phil Coulson is dead."
Her gaze drops, and so does his stomach. A breath, as if to speak, before she sighs, shakes her head.
"Actually, no."
It isn't Maria who speaks, no, it's a voice he knows, the voice of his conscience and his comfort, a voice he's not supposed to be hearing, and he's on his feet before his training takes hold, keeps him from backing away.
There's a ghost in this room, stepping out of the shadows, Coulson looking him in the eye.
"I'm... not dead."
For a moment the world turns upside down, he can't breathe, his vision greys... Before he catches himself, turns away sharply. "Don't," and no matter how dead he tries to keep his voice, he hears the tremor. "Don't do this to me."
Maria avoids his gaze, crosses her arms over her chest, glares at the man who can't be Coulson. "Coulson! You were supposed to let me ease him into it."
Coulson sighs, like he used to sigh when he'd forgotten to buy the right kind of hot sauce on wing night, and was about to go get the keys and drive to the store right then, because Grant wouldn't eat his wings without it. An apology. "Sorry, I just couldn't wait to see you again. Also I think there's a bulb out back there. I wasn't trying to be that dramatic."
Grant snorts, he can't help shaking his head as he looks back at the man whose response to finding out an angry customer had hit Grant over the head with her purse was show up at her house and tell her she'd go to jail if she ever shopped at Walmart again. "Even got someone who talks like him," he says, anger starting to smolder in his gut. He was done, done his grieving, he'd sworn to live and look forward, to honour his dad's Coulson's legacy.
Phil is worried. He's been worrying over how to tell Grant since... Tahiti, he thinks, but, no, it had been too peaceful there to be worrying. So, at least since Fury had lifted the lockdown on him.
He remembers the day Lady had been killed by a car, the limp body in Grant's arms, and how Grant had screamed for him, called him 'dad' for the first time.
"Try to go easy on him," Maria had said.
He'd raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
She'd stopped in the hallway, frowned at him. "Coulson, he had to bury you. The only person he cares about, and he had to bury you. He took two weeks' vacation after the funeral."
Phil had frowned then too. "He took time off?"
"Yes! Two. Weeks. Disappeared, off the radar. No one knows where he went, or what he was doing. He's never said."
So yes, Phil's worried, watching the tense line of Grant's shoulders, the way his eyes say he doesn't believe yet, and he's getting angry about it.
"Grant," he says, and the other man startles. "I'm sorry. But it is me. No tricks, no lies."
Phil moves forward slowly, as if trying not to frighten a skittish animal. Grant says nothing, watching him with those burning eyes, until he reaches out, grips Grant's upper arm gently but firmly. The other man flinches, hard enough to make Phil's hand slide down to his elbow, but just as quickly he's bringing his own hand up to grab Phil's sleeve. His grip is fierce.
"See?" Phil says, trying to smile. "Real."
"You're dead," Grant says, firm. He can feel the warmth in the hand on his arm, pain gathering in his throat. "You died." And his voice cracks.
He wants to believe, he is believing.
"I was. I did. For seven minutes." Tiny uncomfortable shrug. "Didn't stick, I'm afraid."
Grant blinks in the face of a tombstone (PHILIP J COULSON) chiseled with words he'd agonized over, how to sum up the man who had saved him long before saving the world (A HERO GOING HOME). He'd run his fingers over sharp-edged epitaph (PSALM 91:4), glad when it cut, when cold stone drew warm blood.
He blinks again, stares into worried hazel eyes, grips flesh and bone, and oh...
"It's been seven months!" Anger, fresh pain erupting through the layers of cooled magma. "What the hell, Dad?!" He rips away, stalks across the room, turns back to glare. "You couldn't be bothered to call, to tell me?! In seven months? I thought– I thought I meant something to you!"
"Grant, you do, I swear." Guilt settles heavy on Phil's heart as he steps forward, reaching. "Fury had me on lockdown, and then you were in the field, and I didn't want to do this until I knew we'd have time."
"I buried you!"
Maria was right, Phil thinks. Grant stalks back toward him.
"And you wanna know what I did after? I put a gun in my mouth, because of you!"
Grant's in his face now, and Phil's stomach drops like he's just been pushed out of a plane.
"You know that place where we used to go fishing? That creek? Yeah, that's where I went. And I put a gun to my head. Because I couldn't– I couldn't– I didn't want to live without–"
There are tears in his eyes now, dampening the fire, and Phil reaches up, lays hand gentle on muscled shoulder.
"But you did," he says softly. "You did live. I'm proud of you, son." He puts special weight on the last word, deliberate. "And now we get another chance. I doubt I can make it up to you, but I want to be here for you. Will you let me at least have that?"
Grant's always been tall, chin up, spit blood, graceful in a cold sort of way. Phil thinks Rose is the only other who has seen that guard truly come down. It's falling now, Grant's head dropping to hide welling emotion, shoulders slumping under Phil's hands, and then it's as if Grant himself is falling, falling and reaching, but he's already caught, and Phil pulls him in, holds him tight as he crumbles.
Grant's grip on him is painfully fierce, but he takes it, he'll take anything for this man he'd watched grow up, from a messed up kid, to a hopeful young agent, to one of SHIELD's best.
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm here."
Tall man, bent and bowed into his dad's embrace, Grant hides his face against Coulson's neck and sobs.
Maria slips out, leans back against the door, knuckles a few tears out of her eyes. She still thinks Coulson is making a mistake, selecting someone he's so close to for his new team; he's always avoided working with Grant for that reason. But any man would be changed by facing death, she figures. Not to mention facing things he didn't even remember. A wince at the thought of Grant finding out what had been done. Well, as long as all went according to plan, neither of them ever would.
Grant doesn't cry for long; that's never been his way. He lifts his head, eases back, takes Phil's offered handkerchief.
"You still carry these?" he asks hoarsely, blows his nose.
"What do you think I mop the blood up with?"
The same pointed humor, the way they always joked about close calls, and Grant's lungs feel like they have more room in his chest. He hands the crumpled cloth back, smirks at Coulson's little nose wrinkle. "And that's what saved you."
Coulson chuckles, the air in the room lifts. Grant's still unsteady, still taking it in. But he believes now.
"So how much time have we got?" he asks, sticks his hands in his pockets.
"Plenty." Phil smiles up at him, sun coming out to warm him again at last. "I'm putting together a long-term team, and Fury, well, he owes me plenty. So I get to pick anyone I want."
"Except her." Grant jerks his head toward the door, and he's grinning like an idiot, but he can't help it. On a team with Coulson? For the foreseeable future? Oh, he is so ready.
"Anyone I outrank," Phil corrects himself, eyes laughing back. "You'll be getting a promotion to Level Seven—already have actually since you know about me."
"I'm in."
A raised eyebrow, and Grant tries to settle, temper the excitement in his tone. He's supposed to be cool, after all. "Sure. Count me in. And don't worry," he adds, "I'll make sure not to call you 'dad' in front of the team. Don't want to ruin that cold-hearted reputation."
A full on chuckle from Coulson, and Grant can't help it, he steps back in for one more hug, to feel the solid flesh and bone and beating heart against him.
"Yes, that reputation," Coulson mutters, hugging him back.
When they emerge, all banter and business, Maria lets herself relax. Maybe some things can be normal again.
#okay i have had this scene in my head for like... a year and a half#i wanted to write a whole dang chapter fic that would finish with this scene but not enough of it has come#but now that i'm watching the show again i just had to get this out of my head#this au helps me survive the show#the idea is that coulson is the one who finds grant in juvie first and he ends up basically adopting grant and grant gets a couple years of#pretty intense therapy but also a kind caring principled father figure in phil and hydra never gets him in his clutches#i imagine grant still having some anger issues and a darker edge sometimes but he's a brilliant agent and dogs trust him so he has that#anyway here's this#don't be surprised if i spit out some more scenes like this in the next little while#grant ward#phil coulson#fix it au#saving grant ward#agents of shield#my writing#marvel fanfiction#angst with a happy ending#saving grant ward au
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so im taking that oil painting class rn right. i mentioned wanting to paint something original instead of just copying a reference bc that's all the teacher has had me doing so far and he agreed I'm probably ready and went off on this whole tangent about how i shouldn't be nervous to try to do something more original and creative and how he'll show me some original stuff his friends have painted and had shown in galleries etc etc, and... I think somehow he's been assuming that the reason I've been painting realistic stuff directly from photo refs is because that's the kind of art I like to do and that I'm nervous about trying something else??? instead of what he's been telling me to do?
which is really funny to me because apart from this class I haven't 1:1 copied a reference for years, I just haven't gone out of my way to show him any art I make in my own time because this is like a professional full-time oil painter who has paintings in galleries and shit, real high-brow art stuff, and idk how to tell him that left to my own devices I draw video game fanart and dragons and furry commissions and gay sex and cringe and i dont want to draw other things
#the temptation to make an ultrakill oil painting is really strong#i think it would be really funny#everyone else in there is making their art school portfolios or smth. pan over to me painting a robot and angel making out#trust me if my mom hadn't signed herself up for this and then not had the time to go i would NOT be here#side note why do ppl assume that if i know how to paint from photos very realistically then that's what i ENJOY drawing???#and vice versa why do ppl act surprised when they see my personal art and then find out i can do realistic painting (looking at u mom)#“why dont u paint like that all the-” because its not fun!! fuck off#my mom's so convinced me or my sister are one day gonna be the kind of professional artists where ppl pay thousands for a single super#realistic painting and that we're gonna have shit in art galleries and whatnot. just a weirdly outdated view of what “artist” can mean#and its like. but i dont want to do that. iwant to draw video games and gay people and do whatever i want forever. eat my entire ass
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WTFFF I thought thirteen would be my new girl crush love of my life heart eyes wife you-came-after-twelve-you-must-be-better-than-they're-all-saying bbygirl and then I had to sit down and watch as she told a man who (if he were not a murderer, of course) literally every regeneration before her would've LOVED and FULLY SUPPORTED that "the systems aren't the problem. how people use and exploit the system, that's the problem. people like you" </33333 !?!?
#WHERE IS THAT POST THAT SAID NINE WOULD KILL THIRTEEN FOR BEING A CLASS TRAITOR#WHY WOULD YOU SAY “ERODE PEOPLE'S TRUST IN AUTOMATION” ALL WORRIED AND CONCERNED LIKE THAT???#WHEN DID YOU START LIKING AUTOMATION OVER PEOPLE THINKING AND DOING THINGS FOR THEMSELVES???#AND WHY ARE YOU TRAVELING WITH A COPPER??? WE HATE COPPERS??????#did we FORGET into the dalek?? how about how he treated danny?? god there's so much more I can't even remember off the top of my head#(I understand soldiers are different from cops but c'mon don't even PRETEND twelve would've been any nicer if blue or danny were just COPS)#also a bit off topic bUT MAY I JUST TALK ABOUT ARACHNIDS IN THE UK FOR HALF A GODAMNED SECOND—#I know the companions are usually the ones to do the doctor's dirty work here but like#I just can't see the other doctors NOT having the business man lure the spider for being so fuckin annoying about it#like I was genuinely surprised when they had him do that whole song and dance about not doing it and then he actually just. didn't do it#the doctor LOVES fucking with evil rich business men this is PERFECT. plus why not get back at him for being awful to their companions?#absolutely gobsmacked thirteen let him act like that. I am wrong in thinking that the others would've shut his shit down a LOT quicker??#anyways. I love jodie whittaker and it's just so upsetting to have her doctor do something so wildly off#THIRTEEN PLEASE I HAD SUCH FAITH IN YOUUU I WAS IGNORING THE HATERS AND FOR WHAT#I can SEE the other doctors in her still I can FEEL them they're there she's doing an AMAZING job but. oh my god. what did they make her do#I can't even say she feels ooc as a whole because jodie is bloody brilliant. it's just these... moments. that don't make ANY sense to me...#especially coming off of twelve?? I get the radical personality switch but that belief is a core part of the doctor. or at least I THOUGHT#thirteenth doctor#doctor who#I still love all of you who love her and reading ur posts/fics but I. will not be making any myself. I do not think.
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grief is like a really ugly couch
I think grief is like a really ugly couch. It never goes away. You can decorate around it; you can slap a doily on top of it; you can push it to the corner of the room—but eventually, you learn to live with it. ― Jodi Picoult, Leaving Time
#the mentalist#quotes#patrick jane#i would say web weaving but there's not a lot of web weaving happening#initially I also had a bit of an essay accompanying this but it disappeared because of a tumblr glitch + my own stupidity#and i'm too tired to write it prettily but i still wanna write it so it'll be in the tags#a cute little fun surprise for whoever cares about and reads tags#so i made a different post talking about jane's grief but i was upset i didn't have enough space for the couch (pun unintended)#and i was thinking this morning about this quote and jane's couch and how it could be interpreted as a physical manifestation of his grief#as well as his willingness to open up to people#1. i love grief; grief is important to me. grief is permanent and i have been aware of grief in a form of another (in my own personal life)#for a very very very long time. so to see it in this show is...significant to me. i cherish this#now onto the actual analyzing. of course they never intended the couch to be a symbol for grief; but it becomes so.#he leans on the couch when he opens the Red John files; for support most likely - and it's a beginning of the process of dealing with grief#he is the only one who uses the couch. everyone knows it as jane's couch#in S4E23 Cho uses it briefly to rest and Rigsby asks him if Jane knows he's using his couch#Erica tries briefly (also in S4) to sit on the couch but he doesn't allow her the space#in fact the only two people we see that use the couch are Teresa Lisbon and Dennis Abbott#and this is the part about emotional availability. he only shares the couch with people whom he trusts#With Lisbon twice even#the couch is grief and the couch is love; the couch is support#there's nostalgia for the CBI times but there's also more to it#and that quote makes me go absolutely feral because#'eventually you learn to live with it' 😭 eventually you learn to live with grief and eventually you learn to accept it as part from yself#andand he is happy to see the couch; he missed the couch#-> you are not free from your grief but in healing you learn that it's okay; you cherish your grief; it was there with you and for you#yea anyways i will never not go mad about grief and trauma and how it's portrayed and handled.#and i already have 2 more sorta-proper essays that i want to write on the topic asdgfhdhjk. yea i'm literally not gonna stop
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that poll reminding me. not so secret feli lore i'm sure i've talked about this before. but one time in school a guy confessed his love to me as a joke (i knew it was a joke because he was part of a clique that Could Not Stand my autism swag) and he did it in front of my friends, with his friends watching from a distance, and the scenario was so absurd i started laughing at him.
Like full on fucking ojou-sama hand to my face laugh. For several minutes. It was the funniest shit to ever happen to me I just did not know how to react.
Obviously this embarrassed him and he went back to his friends. Idk how they reacted to this but over the next few weeks he would try to confess several more times. I would still laugh at him but then it got annoying. So I'd just start kicking him. Every single time he got near me and opened his mouth I would kick him in the shins. Guy was a football player but I still did it. If it came to a fight he could've kicked my ass easy i am a twig but my sheer ferocious moxie scared him.
One math teacher fucking hated this guy for being the "class clown" (read: calling everything gay and autistic as the height of comedy) so she sat us next to each other on purpose and actually gave me permission to kick him if he was being annoying.
This all came to a head on the day my best friend whom I'd had a secret crush on got rejected by HER crush, and she was crying. So to stop people from badgering her I made a distraction. I challenged my nemesis to a duel in the hallway in front of the chemistry rooms. The entire class could hear. Everybody focused on me over my crush trying to wipe her eyes around the corner.
I kept calling him a coward as he ran away from me (presumably out of fear, or because he knew that if he did fight me, he would win, but i would 100% kick him in the balls first). When the chemistry teacher arrived she made us apologize to each other and I no longer had permission to kick him publicly but the damage was done. I had a Reputation. I was Feared. I was the quiet nerd teacher's pet until anybody fucking looked at me wrong.
At the end of that school year, that entire clique decided to graduate early (which you can do, since minimum school attendance is 10yrs, and we were in 10th grade). So many students left and/or changed schools that the principal personally asked the rest of us if everything was okay. This was probably because they all had shit grades and wanted to go to an easier school, but I hated them and choose to believe my warfare efforts were also a cause for this.
#feli speaks#teacher's pet is an undefeated defensive position#i didnt suck up to teachers mind you. i just was quiet in class and did my work#and actually participated. i didnt do any extra shit i was just That Good In Class#and because the teachers KNEW i was good in class they let me do so much shit#i could draw or read or doze off. for two years i would wear headphones in class. and only one teacher stopped me.#because they knew. they Knew i was still listening#and of course because i was quiet and demure in class they would not believe i was being a shithead to bullies. so#yeah it was 100% a double standard and i received preferrential treatment because of my grades.#yeah i abused the shit out of it.#i just stopped doing homework bcuz i raised my hand so often that the teacher would Never surprise pick me for homework#they just trusted i did it and didnt check#and i was just that good at improvising shit#still am. lmao.
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So you're telling me in the US they put their ballot votes in a box in the streets????
Learnt that because apparently they are being sent on fire which is exactly what I'd expect with that kind of system...
#i know you guys vote online#but do you do the thing where you have to wake up a very sunny sunday (not in November i guess lmao) and walk to the voting point of#you city???#and try to avoid eye contact with the local representatives so they don't ask you to come back at 6pm to count the votes???#im very curious because i wouldn't trust the postal services to be on time here djdjdbenene#but anyway seriously#everything i know about the us voting system baffle me#you tell me a candidate can win the popular vote but lose the election????#i mean i knew that fact since like highschool but i still can't wrap my mind around it#apparently the US is the only democracy with no direct universal vote#also i did know that till very recently#i always wondered how tf some srates had more power than others#and like last week#i learnt that states with slaves used them as a one third of a voice and that's how they gained more powers#but when finally long years later they could finally vote#the same people who used them went on the streets to try to stop them to vote (which is sadly not surprising)#the whole thing is fucked up#I mean not saying here is really better at the moment#but at least one voice = one vote#im trying to imagine having ballots hanging outside in France and this would go so fucking bad omg#and the 'fun' part is that it won't be because of fascists (i mean today it would) but because stupid kids would take it as a challenge#anyway i don't want to talk about this election#im not American and shit#but it's kinda really stressful to see dumb shit like that on an election whi will have as many#if not more#consequences on the whole world#oh also what the hell are their official programs?#i mean except saying fascist stuff vs saying fascism bad and calling each other stupid#anyway case closed#but im very dreadfully curious about the voting system though
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It's honestly kinda insane to me that Vito trusts and respects Fredo so little that even with his strict catholic moral he literally trusts the reports of his late son's ex-mistress more than anything his actual son has to say like wow, you're not even pretending to care for this man at this point 😬
#lucy mancini#fredo corleone#vito corleone#the godfather#my poor Fredo was really out there like 'eh pop it's going great in Vegas! :)' while Lucy was like 'it's...it's kinda aight i guess idk..'#and Vito was like 'I knew it. You cannot trust this boy with anything smh'#to be clear i don't think Lucy ever directly interacted with Vito but she did with Tom and later Michael#and you know they were not lying to their dondad about the source of their intel#actually based on the timeline Vito would have been the one who decided to send her to Vegas so yeah#btw i was extremely surprised at how nice and friendly michael is with her in the book like very uncharacteristic of his hater self lol#the entire family is obviously using her but they also all seems to genuinely enjoy her as a person (at least her own generation)#i don't think vito and carmela fuck with her that much#anyway#i maintain that lucy mancini actually has a truly interesting storyline we just all got too traumatized by the pussy surgery to enjoy it#for real tho her appearances in some of johnny fontane's long ass chapters is the only thing that kept me going
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I don’t think I’ve said it on here before but why didn’t ice dance teams immediately jump to use 80’s movie soundtracks instead of terribly editing the same 5 songs for the rhythm dance.
#you know I originally thought nothing would be worse than the fake Latin last season#and these people continue to horrifically surprise me cause I’m sooooo disappointed with like 90% of the music choices this season#maybe it’s the cinephile in me speaking but a movie soundtrack would be SO simple to choreograph to#instead we’re getting mismatches of songs#GLEE COVERS#besides the lack of movie soundtrack music in general the 80s is an entire decade of music#why are there so many song repeats among teams#we need to dead the fun themes go back to the classic ballroom ones#because clearly we can’t trust these people to do anything right 😭#rhythm dance#ice dance#figure skating#you’re telling me you only know like ten 80s songs alright!
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I’ve known about the Walrus vs Fairy debate for about 11 minutes now and I’ve never been more angry in my life you’re all wrong and I’m taking it personally.
#walrus vs fairy#fairy is more surprising. I’m this close to writing multiple paragraphs on why#walrus is an initial shock and then I’m delighted and varying degrees of concerned while I make some calls#i see a fairy?? I’m fucking elated and I’m fucking terrified and both emotions are ongoing.#if I can classify a hereto undiscovered creature as a fairy upon opening my door by my cultural idea of what a fairy is#then I’m fucking panicking#bc there 800 varying rules and laws about fairies and I cannot off the top of my head know which ones to trust#I’d be terrified to speak a word lest it be twisted on me. do I let it in my house?#is letting it in my house a favor? an insult? basic manners?#I wouldn’t say it’s my Roman Empire but once in a while I think about fairy rules and get stressed tf out#even saying shit like no thank you can get you in a world of trouble#if I open the door to a walrus that’s crazy but I would reasonably know what to do about it#I’m having three crises at once if I see a fairy and at least one of those crises is about linguistics
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