#truly tho is anyone bound by the canon?

[allow-me-to-speak]

A few things to note —

1. Canon events should have been "disrupted" when RIPeter died in 1610. However, it didn't. Miles' dimension is intact.

2. Miles is not the original anomaly. Miguel is. (Edit: in that he caused the first dimension-collapsing anomaly before Miles did anything. He admitted it himself.)

3. Despite Miles being an anomaly, he's being treated as though his life has to follow the canon events of a normal Spider-Man.

4. According to the school counselor, Miles' "universe" (which she is supposed to capture on paper) is blank.

5.

6. "No expectations"

Conclusion: Miles isn't bound to the canon events of a normal Spider-Man. His future is his own to write. That's the theme of the movies.

[marcmorrigan]

finally delivering on the princess tutu headshots i promised... love these dysfunctional teens 🩰💖💕

LOTS of notes about headcanons/design choices under the cut! like. a lot. dont say i didnt warn you

starting with my specialest guy fakir:

i had a suuuper clear vision for fakir, and i couldnt be happier with how he turned out, he looks exactly how i imagine him! trying to translate his Bird-Shaped Hair into my style gave me SERIOUS homestuck flashbacks. my affinity for knights with Problems knows no bounds...

adding the hyperpigmentation around his eyes and his acne scars is what really solidified this for me-- i put those in and was like oh!!! there you are!!! my boy!!! and you can tell because i gave him acne scars + thick eyebrows that he IS my boy... there are very clear trends among my headcanons for my faves lol. big noses, thick eyebrows, skin imperfections, heavy eyebags, long dark hair... and fakir truly has it all 😤 he is so Ideal Character Design to me

i think fakir is actually pretty self-conscious about his appearance tho! we see characters like pike and lilie say hes handsome to ahiru, but i dont know how often he actually hears that? and im sure its hard not to compare himself to mytho, who is straight out of a fairy tale; being a regular teenager dealing with regular teen body stuff is hard enough without your roommate being a magically beautiful eternally youthful storybook hero. i think he probably internalises more that people see him as scary and angry, and that the girls who do have crushes on him always frame it in contrast to mytho, who is Good and Kind and Handsome, implying (or sometimes outright stating!) that fakir is Bad and Mean and... Well...

fakir is very sensitive but quiet about it, so i think its a very private point of self-consciousness. i think he puts a lot of semi-secret effort into his appearance; canonically he has a lot of very funny and clearly customised clothing, and he chooses to keep his hair long and in a very particular style (i have a whole breakdown in my mind of how he achieves that style and it involves a surprising amount of pins and an unsurprising fuckton of teasing. i think his hair is a little fried from heat damage!), and i think that probably extends to other things, too, like manicuring his eyebrows and doing a lot of very Teenage Skincare that doesnt actually help his acne much lol. i think he probably has a lot of self-injurious habits and BFRBs like skin picking and chewing, mostly at his acne and around his nails (both of which he hates, because he knows he shouldnt but does it anyway). i think if he does it enough that theres noticeable evidence it feels, like, world-ending for him, ESPECIALLY if anyone asks what happened lol. do not perceive him except in the very specific ways and contexts he approves of THANKS

on to the narratives favorite princess, mytho:

again, i had a pretty clear idea of the vibe i wanted mytho to have going into this-- i want him to have, like, extreme prince charming vibes, very Classically Handsome without necessarily being 'conventional.' i thought a lot about 'the happy prince' story while i was working on this, and really wanted him to look like a cross between how the prince statue looks in my head and a porcelain doll. and also a cross between jonny brown and brigitte bardot? lots of very direct influences for him lol. so! lots of gold tones, gemmy eye color, cute little tooth gap, quivering wide-eyed thousand-yard-stare doe eyes and big ol dolly anime lashes, which were the very last thing i added because i was NERVOUS about pulling those off lol. they turned out cute tho! ive only done a handful of pieces for this series and i can already tell princess tutu is gonna make me up my lash drawing game considerably, these kids all look like they blink and cause a hurricane from the gale force wind of their falsies

also wait i lied the very last thing i did was add his freckles/beauty marks because he needed that little extra oomph and those were It. i think he probably has some on his hands/wrists too 💕

i was a little unsure if my idea for his hair would translate with this flat-color approach but im pretty happy with it! its supposed to be afrotextured hair (somewhere between 3b and 4c i think? wide range of potential i knowww but im still kind of hammering out my headcanons okay, this is exploratory lol) thats been rolled and finger-styled into his little feather shapes. i think loose, chunky twists would be another fun way to interpret his hair and twists are one of my fave styles to draw do i might draw him like that at some point too...

i guess fakir is the one who styles his hair for him before mytho gets his heart back? i imagine fakir is pretty meticulous about maintaining mythos health and appearance, even at the worst stages of their relationship. i think itd be hard for fakir to frame the way he treats mytho as For Mythos Sake if he wasnt doing some level of actually beneficial care for him, so being really fastidious about things like mythos diet and sleep hygiene and hair care and such gives fakir an outlet for his 'you just have to do what i tell you' thing that helps him convince himself it really is helping, no really, hes doing this for mythos benefit and he just has to be strict with him because mytho doesnt UNDERSTAND he needs PROTECTING and fakir is the ONLY ONE who can do it so mytho HAS to let him because if he doesnt then why does fakir even EXIST, if he cant manage this then what is he good for, and--

yknow. the usual complexes. and their relationship is so complex!!! but also so simple, but like. in a good way. fakirs behavior is complicated but his motivation regarding mytho is SO straightforward which makes that downward spiral into harm really easy to map out... i wont go much into that in this post since this is about visual/appearance-related headcanons but just. augh. i love this show and i love these characters!!! and i hope its apparent in my work that i do love them so <3

im hoping to do a set of these for the girls next!!! i have some other stuff to finish first but hopefully... Soon... Some Birds...

[hp-confessions]

That one Bellamort hating anon…..

Look, I’m a die hard Harrymort|Tomarry shipper and by no means a Bellamort shipper at all, but my gosh is there is a lot to unpack there.

Why do people think it is better than Harrymort just because Bellatrix would accept Voldemort's immoral character and would love him for who he is?

…Really think about what you just wrote. I’m pretty sure that you answered your own question here. The fact that she would accept & love him no matter what he does or who he is, is a pretty amazing reason for their ship to be good, and better. Like, Idk what you were getting at with this part 😭

That girl is deranged and obssessed

Okay, and that’s an issue because???

Have you really read any Tom|Voldemort x Harry fic? They literally always write Voldemort to be crazy obsessed with Harry and the most deranged, out of pocket, motherfucker to step foot in Harry’s life.

She is enraged by just hearing about Voldemort's blood status which is a proof that V wouldn't feel comfortable telling her about his past, in the beginning of their "relationship".

Well duh, she doesn’t like “filthy” blood, but Voldemort isn’t just anyone. He is her master, lover, and god. He doesn’t count. His blood will never be/could never be “filthy.” To her, his presence is an honor, and his blood is special and its own thing. Anyways, I guarantee you Voldemort wouldn’t have gave a fuck if someone was uncomfortable learning about his blood status. The little fucker lived for making people uncomfortable and humiliating them.

Voldemort needs someone who's on more equal footing to him even tho he would absolutely hate it.

Well, it’s definitely not Harry. Harry’s a victim. Perhaps you’re talking about Dumbledore? Riddledore shipper found?

He needs to feel that anger and hate in order to become better.

Once again, riddledore?

And there’s no getting better for him or fixing him because he, himself, doesn’t want it. Even in canon, he denies repentance and in return damns himself.

Bellamort is the easier ship. Harrymort is the ship of redemption, of drama, of passion, of trying to develop genuine respect for each other, of humanity.

You’re right, Bellamort is the easier ship (and the most canon). All that about Harrymort is great too, absolutely love it! But truly to Voldemort’s character, he would’ve chosen Bellatrix in a heartbeat. He doesn’t care about respect, redemption, humanity, or whatever. He cares about himself and power.

They are soul bound. They feel their emotions and share dreams.

Harry is the only one with another soul in him. And i’m pretty sure the whole “feeling emotions and sharing dreams” thing is one sided on Harry’s part because he’s the one with Voldemort’s soul in him.

Voldemort is obssessed with Harry.

Because he wants the kid 6 feet under ground, hope that helps! 🤗

Even if he doesn't view him as a human being in the canon story, fics can still make Voldemort evolve in this aspect. With Bellatrix it's just boring

The first half is funny as hell. But if Voldemort can “evolve” in fics for Harry, why not with Bellatrix? I don’t get what the blockage is or what’s stopping it.

Let's say she would get over his blood status. That she would stop putting him on a high pedestal. She can love him maybe

If she knows his blood status in canon, then she did get over it because once again that’s her man right there. When it comes to him, he can and does get away with everything. She’ll just deny deny deny. His blood isn’t “filthy”, it’s special and superior, like him (to her, at least). And she does love him, an unhealthy amount, in fact. So idk what that “maybe” is for.

Bellamort shippers claim she would love him for all that he is and wouldn't want him to change. Maybe. I suppose he might feel more free with her since he would feel loved with no conditions

They’d be right, ultimately. And he most definitely would, which is why, like I said, he would choose her over Harry.

But that would just be pouring oil on the fire. He would still continue to be the same monster because she would fuel his ego and narcissism. He wouldn't change. She would love him yes, but that's it.

So? Light it ablaze and let it burn.

This lowkey reminds me of the lyrics:

“Fire on fire would normally kill us

But this much desire, together, we're winners

They say that we're out of control and some say we're sinners

But don't let them ruin our beautiful rhythms

Cause when you unfold me and tell me you love me

And look in my eyes

You are perfection, my only direction It's fire on fire”

Like you can’t tell me that isn’t Bellamort.

Anyways, once again, no one is changing him. Not a soul, because HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE CHANGED. He likes who he is.

He would still murder and kill. He would still think of her as a fuel to his ego. Someone that loves him and doesn't challenge him in life. Someone that gives comfort and excitement but nothing else.

He always will murder and kill, no mater what. And he would love that about her, he has a big ego. He doesn’t even like people like that, so what she offers him, he would like.

Not to mention they would abuse each other and not in the thrilling ways I like to read about.

Huh?? Abuse each other?? There is a very big power dynamic here. The only one doing the “abusing” is him, and there would barely be any because she is pretty fucking obedient and loyal. So what is he going to abuse her for?

With Harry it is different. Harry challenges him. Harry makes him angry. Harry makes him question reality. Harry makes him change and of course he would hate it but that makes for a more interesting story

So did Dumbledore, and what happened to him?

Once again, for the hundredth time, Harry is not making him change. NO ONE IS!!!

With Bellatrix he stagnates. It is definitely a more realistic ship in regards to canon but to me it is just such a bore.

Ahh, I see!

So what you were getting at is that while Bellamort is the most canon, the one that makes the most sense, and the most realistic, it’s just not your cup of tea. You prefer the tropes and dynamics in Tom|Voldemort x Harry fics instead. That while both ships are toxic, you lean towards the more toxic and difficult ship. I get it!! I also prefer it.

Was just really confused on why you were confused people found Bellamort to be better than Harrymort, and all the other nonsense you were talking about.

~

[mehoymalloy]

Fic Author Self-Rec!

Thanks for the tag, @foibles-fables

The Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

Trying to run the gamut rather than going with recency bias (because Otohan, obvs~), so from oldest to most recent, we have:

Prometheus Bound (Aloy/Tilda van der Meer; Horizon Forbidden West, Rated M)

The fanfic I started writing for! This was my first "fine I'll do it myself" moment (because canon Horizon simply did not utilize Tilda to the best of all her manipulative, bitchy potential), as well as my first longfic! Also the first true sign of my thing about awful older women.

When the Darkness Comes (Silga & Untalla; Horizon Forbidden West, Rated M)

My Horizon Big Bang piece, and the first fic I ever wrote all at once before posting. Look I just adore these two NPCs that never meet in-game; they're now best friends because I said so and they hold a very dear place in my heart.

Let Me Lay Waste to Thee (Imogen Temult/Otohan Thull; Critical Role, Rated M)

Y'all. What can be said (Strap in I'm bout to say so much because I'm feeling especially sentimental, I should probably check my period tracker..) While working my way through c3, I got to ep33 (the "is she your favorite" episode), and instead of being traumatized by imodna angst, I saw the horrible awful murderous bitch tenderly and terrifyingly urging Imogen to give in and thought 'surely someone else has noted the Tension these two have.' Well APPARENTLY if anyone had they didn't do anything about it, because a couple weeks later I created their ship tag on AO3. Exploring this fucked up rarepair was the reason I picked back up writing after a six month break post-Big Bang, and ultimately Otohan became Thee Reason I kept writing. I never truly got the concept of a blorbo until Otohan (which is insane given we know next to nothing about her canonically and I just made everything up. Well, I extrapolated a lot but still I did so quite well imo). ANYWAYS, I love Themb. Y'all know this. Of course the first fic I wrote for them is my fave.

Unexpected Company (Grace/Athena; Stray Gods, Rated G)

If I somehow didn't realize I had a thing about awful old women, this made it embarrassingly obvious. I maintain that Grace and Athena really are wonderful foils to each other. I still absolutely intend to one day get back to the slow burn long fic I have for them, but this lil oneshot was such a fun way of dipping my toes into it through Athena's perspective.

A Dance With Danger (Imogen Temult/Otohan Thull; Critical Role, Rated T)

Obviously, Imogen and Otohan are tough to make work in a believable way (tho I like to think I do so well), especially when strictly constrained to a more canon lens. This fic was my way of tackling them from that strict angle, and my god was it difficult and immensely fun to write. 'What if Otohan attended the Jrusar ball waaaay back in ep 13?' was already a super fun concept, but taking an Imogen that was so much less knowledgeable and practiced with her powers and giving her the opportunity to get that information by literally dancing around this dangerous-but-can't-put-her-finger-on-why person? Mwah, they just WORK, people, I've been saying this for going on two years and I will keep saying it!

No tags from me but please feel free to nab and tag me, anyone who wants to~

[superloves4]

We can always begin again - Chapter 1

Relationships: Celegorm/Aredhel, Curufin/Finrod (background) Summary: Celegorm didn't think he'd be granted mercy, that he'd be re-embodied or that he'd be welcome anywhere. Aredhel thought she'd never welcome him again after what he'd done. They were never good at staying away from each other. TW: none for this chapter but a warning: this is mostly canon compliant Celegorm, for what this fic is supposed to be this means Eol won't be beyond salvation (he is in only one chapter briefly but I felt this needed to be said) (Not to worry tho, I have another aretyel fic in the works where Eol is just the worst) A/N: Enjoy!

Also on AO3

Tyelkormo Fëanorion didn't know how long it had been since he'd seen the sun. He didn't even think he'd be given a chance to see it again, a permanent residence in the Halls would have been mercy compared to what he had bound to his soul, turns out mercy, as some would call it, tasted of ash and poison. It hurt his eyes.

He breathed in then held his breath.

It was a cacophony of senses he no longer was familiar with and he just needed another minute. If he was free of Mandos then he could be granted that, it was the most humble request he'd ever made.

"I don't believe they shall let you back in, brother"

Tyelko opened his eyes to watch as Curufin prepared his oh, so kindly, allowed horse. He was rather happy to have the company, the twins and Caranthir had been released before him, it was nice to not be left alone now.

"What a shame," he shrugged, if somebody saw him now they'd almost believe it "I'm convinced we truly were close to send dear Mandos to retirement."

"And have to do his job? Rather dreary don't you think?" Curufin managed a smile back.

"On the contrary, after everything that happened I find it rather fitting."

It was a voice Tyelko was not expecting, in fact he was not expecting anyone, he figured even his brothers would rather steer away from him after Doriath, instead he could now see his mother approaching on the horse he could remember so clearly from childhood, and the one who spoke...

"Irìssë!"

She was there, black hair to the wind and dressed in all white, it was like nothing had changed, that she was about to call him to a hunt and then to camp in the wild, he'd tell her what story the birds were telling that morning and everything would be just right. He ran to her, he needed to feel she was real.

"Don't touch me!"

He stopped dead in his tracks, because this was Irìssë, this was his best friend, he had felt so hollow when he discovered her death, so why? Why did she back away from him, her face a mix of fear and hate.

He felt Curufin's hand on his shoulder and looked at him, but his brother only shook his head. It frustrated him, he didn't want to be told that thing were different, he was alive, he wanted to feel alive now. He pushed Curufin's hand away, looking to the ground instead.

"Are you still sure you want to be here?" he heard his mother ask Irìssë.

"Yes," she said back "Yes, I'm just not ready for that yet."

He nodded, it wasn't directed at him exactly but he knew what it meant.

"Irìssë, I-" Curufin tried to say but she quickly interrupted.

"There is no need," she answered but seemed to be eager to end the conversation instead "It's in the past now, I don't need any explanation."

Tyelko felt he disagreed but it didn't seem that anything he said would be useful so he decided to be silent instead and let things change. It had been what he'd searched for so long, why did it felt so wrong now?

They had been riding for at least an hour before his mother decided to break the silence.

"I am to make you two aware that you, in specific, are forbidden from Tirion Palace," she told them, it was rather curt but they supposed it was to be expected "You may choose one of the accommodations for the returned or," she took a breath and for the first time in that hour, they heard their mother "Or you are free to come home with me."

It was more than Tyelko expected, but then again, if freedom was the confines of Formenos then he'd much rather go back to Mandos, spirits could not feel real boredom.

"Findaràto is crown prince." Curufin hummed and Tyelko felt ashamed of his earlier rejection, he didn't think his brother would accept his support as it was now.

Nerdanel nodded "I have good reasons to believe that Ëarwen might build dungeons just for you if you attempt to enter."

If it was supposed to be a joke, it was a poor one indeed. But the chill was slowly leaving her voice and Tyelko could be grateful for that.

"What about you?" he couldn't keep himself from asking, Tyelko genuinely hadn't meant to sound so resentful, but the damage was done already "What have you come to tell us?"

Irìssë gave him a look that reminded him how cold she could be since the Helcaraxë, it was vague and he couldn't tell what she was thinking, she was right there and most distant than ever, before turning back to the road.

"I am here for the same reason as aunt Nerdanel," she said "To offer my home."

"What?!"

She'd been so distant he had expected for the journey to end in her telling him that from that moment on they had nothing to share anymore, that their great friendship would finally find its conclusion. She was free.

Instead...

"If you so wish," she said, her voice still on that bitter edge "You two are welcome to stay with me and my son in our cabin."

That was a surprise for both of them, they really didn't think anyone would welcome them back, let alone offer their house.

"No," was Curufin reply "With all of my respect, Irìssë, mother, but I wish to be alone for now."

Tyelpë. The reason went unspoken.

"And you?" Nerdanel asked her third child.

"I-" Tyelko looked at the two women in front of him, his mother was giving him a simple solution that was much better than the small house away from everyone he thought was in his future. It was the correct option, to stay in Formenos, rust away there, but he had always been selfish and he wanted some closure.

So he spurred his horse forward, blocking the path of Irìssë's horse and earning her glare, it did, however, maker her look at him and that was what he needed.

Tyelko searched her eyes for any sign that they still knew each other "Do you truly want that?"

Her stare as intense as his, daring him to say anything "Yes."

"I'm sorry, Ammë," he told Nerdanel and he meant so, it had been so long since he'd seen her but he felt it wasn't what he needed.

Nerdanel, albeit strained, merely smiled "If you are both decided I have nothing else to say."

The four of them separated another hour later, Nerdanel leading Curufin to his temporary home, while Irìssë led him towards the forest, Tyelko had half expected to be led deeper inside, instead, they stopped right at the edge, where a small-ish wood cabin stood.

It was no Himlad, that was certain, almost too simple even for Irìssë but it didn't look cramped, having at least two floors, it would have been rather uncomfortable otherwise. Her son. Tyelko hadn't even considered that when he'd made his choice. He knew nothing about the boy, besides a vague memory of his presence in the battlefield with Turgon, thinking about it now, he wished he'd known sooner, it was strange how such a big side of Irìssë was now a mistery to him.

"You can still leave."

It was the first smile she'd given him and it was more of a scornful grin, crooked, not what he remembered in places. But it was the closest thing to home he had in years.

"Too bad, you're stuck with me now."

[shadowdianne]

You wanted a prompt? The blob has a prompt! Cissamione, if that's OK. Boat ride from Azkaban -- both Narcissa and Hermione were there (the reasons are up to you) and share a Tense ride back. Bring on the angst!! (or don't! Maybe you've hit your head and become The Master of Fluff, who knows!)

Sweet sweet blob, fluff? I don’t know her!

Thanks for the prompt tho, Nara. I hope this one it’s to your liking 😉

PS: Some non-canon thingies going your way. JK can suck it. Also, pre-relationship. (Don’t say I didn’t warn you)

The soggy wood beneath her fingers gave up a fraction of an inch as Hermione grasped into it, eyes lost into the slowly disappearing Azkaban tower, the grey waters lapping mercilessly against the rocking boat that slowly made its way to shore. It didn’t matter how hard or long she stared at her back, however, as she could feel the stormy eyes that had been following her every move ever since she had looked at the enchanted boat with her feet firmly planted into the pebble-covered road that made its sinuous way towards the main entrance of the prison.

She had known what she had agreed to when she had offered up her name when rumors about Narcissa Black being permitted to visit her sister had spread all through the Ministry. Yet, when she had asked for the permit, pulling up the rank her status as one of the Golden Trio gave her, she had felt just as dirty as she now felt the back of her throat to be: as if something had gotten stuck there, a non-said spell, an almost swallowed curse. And now, as the blonde witch kept on looking at her, beyond the sea waters, beyond the invisible set of magical wards they kept on slowly trespassing as they moved away from Azkaban, she felt as if about to implode.

“You don’t need to keep on gloating.”

Narcissa’s voice reached her beyond the sound of the waves as they kept on moving: two witches aboard the only magical way left to reach and return from the dark island. She sounded defeated, tired, and the younger witch pursed her lips at the words, knowing there was very little she could say in order to defend herself. It was, after all, what could be perceived as what she was doing: staring, gloating.

She always had found difficult keeping her mouth shut, however. And knowing she already was halfway into a hopeless discussion couldn’t really make her do it.

“I wasn’t.”

She turned towards the prow of the boat, glancing at Narcissa fully for the first time since they had left the deepest caverns that took their root well beneath ground level back at Azkaban: the humidity of the air visible on the dampened rocky walls. The blonde looked paler than usual, grey tint around her usual ice-like eyes. Back straight, however, hands neatly folded on her lap, the previous Malfoy matriarch still looked very much the nobility-holding title witch she had once been.

A shadow of something close to a sneer colored the rictus on her lips, though, and Hermione couldn’t do anything but roll her shoulders, knowing the conversation they were about to have was long overdue. After all, she had expected to have it such when they first had embarked in that very same boat a few hours prior; with the blindness the still-yet-to-have met up brought with it.

But Narcissa had remained silent then, eyes piercing the horizon rather than Hermione and a part of the brunette had been happy for it. Relieved. It seemed, however, that her luck had run out.

“Don’t even try, I know you insisted on coming, Miss Granger.”

The words didn’t quite hurt as much as the use of her surname. The brunette could remember how their last lengthy conversation had ended: with them waiting, surrounding by press, witches, wizards, mages, as the Lestrange trial started beyond the Wizengamot’s closed doors. She had made a promise, after all. A deal with the devil.

She could remember Narcissa’s eyes then, blue, like gems, as she had tried to feign she wasn’t about to cry with every bit of shame and guilt making them glow with unshed magic. She could remember the way the older witch had broken, like glass against stone, the way she had used her name as she had uttered how she knew it was far too much to ask, for her, who had suffered so much back at Malfoy Manor, for, at least, the ability to be able to visit the dark-haired woman whose fate was already sealed.

And yet, when the resolution had been shared, despite her promise of trying, Hermione had eyed Harry, had eyed Ron, and she had walked away. She hadn’t felt remorse from her decision, but she had seen the eyes, the glances, the magic, the promise taken ahold inside her chest.

Lowering her eyes, she looked back to Narcissa’s fingers, to the way they were pressed together, interlocked, knuckles whiter, magic dribbling through.

“I know you had been insisting on the visit. I wanted…”

She halted there, not knowing what exactly she was supposed to say. She had asked for her being the witch assigned to the task out of a sense of duty she couldn’t quite understand after all. And so, not even explain.

Ron had gurgled out curses when she had shared what Narcissa had asked out of her, with Harry looking at her with that mix of curious and doubtful glimmering its way through his irises. She ought to have felt much more incensed, she had told to herself: the gall the blonde witch possessed of even asking maybe too much for her. Yet, she hadn’t quite reacted to the words, numbness slowly eating her insides while she merely nodded, knowing beforehand she couldn’t really give a straight answer of what she could do.

War wasn’t always about battlefields and dates that became important once they passed: it was the remains what mattered and, by the time of the trials, there were far too much fragmented pieces of her still being rebuilt for her to have been capable of answering the tiniest fraction of a question.

She also knew that Narcissa, deep down, had understood her hesitation. Yet, expecting a logical answer from either of them when Bellatrix was involved was too much on itself. And so, she let her tongue fell flat, firmly between her teeth as she tried to find a way of adding to an already rotten layer of words.

I was concerned.

That was probably the best type of answer, but it implied much more, and Hermione glanced at the foam gathered against the external walls of the boat as the tension kept on mounting: Narcissa’s eyes following her once again. She had, indeed, been concerned. About what could potentially happen to Narcissa, to Bellatrix, to the reunion that had been bound to be difficult from the start.

Because, as they had quickly confirmed, Narcissa’s own necessity of checking that her sister was alright despite her situation, her condemnation, the older Black sister didn’t feel the same. Her screams had followed them both out of the caverns, the expletives as bad as -and even probably worse than- the ones a younger Hermione had once heard in the Black mansion, when she had been little more than a teen and there still had been adults padding the way to war.

She feared what any other mage, any other wizard or witch, would have done with an obviously devastated Narcissa whose divorce had already been long and extraneous enough.

Yet, concern and pity hold the same image when reflected into the Black’s mirror and the brunette knew that it wouldn’t be accepted so she sighed, deeply, while glancing up once more, the shadow of something close to land beginning to extend at Narcissa’s back.

“You had the privilege of a visit. You deserved it.”

It wasn’t much of an explanation and she tensed as Narcissa tilted her head, eyes as piercing as before but a glow of rendition on them. The grey around them had been red before stepping into the boat, the very much mortal and human wardens around the island silently watching as they retrieved their wands from where they had needed to leave them: open mockery and hate on their postures. Hermione knew she should never mention that detail: not in her report, not to anyone else.

Looking away from the brunette for the first time, Narcissa crossed one leg over the other while remaining as upright and as unbothered by the rocky waters as before, pushing the question inside Hermione’s subconscious if she had gotten her clothes magicked in some way.

Ironing lines that weren’t truly there, picking up lint that was indeed invisible, the Black sister sighed, lips pouting for a moment, before she took into Hermione’s form once again.

“And I suppose you are expecting some grateful words due to it.”

The younger witch shook her head. She didn’t deserve them: she had been duplicitous and they both knew it, a way of both shooting the guilt she felt and the words they both had shared during the trials. She wasn’t proud of her decision, but she knew there were worse actions to take.

“But I will ask on being your assigned witch if you ever wish to come back. The permit let you such, if you wished it so.”

And, despite her words, Bellatrix hadn’t said she didn’t want to see her sister anymore so…

The blonde hummed as the boat rocked and stopped, the small bumping motion against the shore the signal they had reached their final destination with more gates to cross until they were considered to be completely clear. Standing, the older woman stepped outside the boat and looked quizzically at Hermione, following her steps while the scent of salt filled their nostrils, seagulls framing her answer.

“I suppose it’s fair. Hermione.”

And so, she turned, her footsteps leaving prints as light as smoke on the wet sand. Her words, however, heavy.

Thank you

[the-evisceration-station]

What do you think book!addy’s feelings are towards beth? Even tho addy is the protagonist I still find her very hard to read. Which makes her interesting I guess Bc she’s very mysterious. I love and hate that a lot of the story is subtext haha

That’s a very interesting question and I’m sure everybody probably has a different answer for it, as Addy is such an ambiguous character and intentionally so, because she lies to readers as well as herself. Particularly book!Addy, who I do not believe is quite identical to TV!Addy, even if I do think the most important beats of her character remain the same. I’m going to answer this under the cut both because of potential spoilers and because this is probably going to get long.

In this essay, I will…

Well, I think much of the way Addy describes Beth is some of the way Addy genuinely sees her, rather than an entire farce. Beth being something almost goddess like, someone who knows all and always has some kind of agenda. I don’t think Addy’s actually lying to us when she describes viewing Beth in those ways, I think there is a major part of her that does see Beth as some kind of nearly divine entity.

I think she feels this way partially because Beth is something of a spooky kid, she’s violently protective of Addy to the point where “protective” crosses over into “possessive” territory. I also think Beth projects a powerful persona on purpose. Beth very carefully guards her vulnerabilities and she is, after all, Top Girl, the thing that Addy secretly wants to be. And that’s where I think Addy kind of confuses Beth with what Beth has, and what she thinks it means to have that. She thinks Beth is more powerful than she actually is, because Beth has the thing Addy wants and she believes she’d be more powerful herself, if she had it.

However, do I think Addy sometimes exaggerates about how powerful she sees Beth as?

Absolutely. Because Addy also reveals she knows Beth has vulnerabilities. She knows that laughing is Beth’s way of crying. She is fully aware of how detrimental and unhappy Beth’s home life is, another vulnerability. When she wants Beth to give her one more day before going to the cops, and asks her for it, she pleads, “for me,” because Addy knows that she, herself, is one of Beth’s weaknesses. So if Addy knows where the chinks in the armor are, chances are she doesn’t always see Beth as infallible as she acts like she does.

The fact that Addy knows she can get Beth to do what she wants with a “for me,” also implies that she’s aware that she’s the one who actually has more control in the relationship, which diminishes how godlike she constantly describes Beth as.

Look, I have seen some takes that describe the Addy/Beth relationship as “Addy has All The Power behind the scenes and Beth is just her pawn,” as well as “Beth has All The Power outright until Addy stands up for herself” and personally I don’t agree with either. I understand why people would come away with such interpretations, but I personally don’t think it’s either. I think Beth and Addy both have power in that relationship, and that there is push and pull between them. I actually feel that to insist one has all and one has none is to cheapen the complexity between them, the depths of the layers of this twisted relationship they’ve woven together like a tapestry.

However, I DO believe Addy has the lion’s share of the power. Not that Beth has none. I certainly think she has some, and she’s too aware of what Addy is like under the surface to ever be described as her pawn. But that I do feel that Addy has MOST of the power. Because Beth has more exploitable vulnerabilities in places Addy doesn’t. Because Beth will do anything for Addy, and Addy knows it, and Addy knows she can use it when she has to. Because when Beth goes too far, Addy can assert her quiet control and reel her back in line. Some of the other girls notice this much. They point it out more frequently in the show, but it’s book!Tacy who point-blank tells Addy that she’s more afraid of Addy than she is of Beth.

Hence, given that Addy has the lion’s share of the power, I think she has a tenancy to exaggerate how all-powerful she sees Beth as, because if she has to, she can control Beth’s power by proxy. Beth’s power isn’t an inevitability for her. Quite often, it’s even her asset.

What I do think almost feels like an inevitability for her, is her and Beth’s relationship. I actually think Addy has more internal conflict about this than she lets on. She is an unreliable narrator. She doesn’t tell us everything. What she does tell us, is what she wants us to know, and it’s dyed by how she wants us to see it. But I think it’s very interesting that after the fight at cheer camp, and the other girls think they’ll never be friends again, Addy’s just…of the mindset that well, of course they would. Because coming back together, being together is just what they are. Like it’s some force of nature, not a conscious choice. Like it is what it is, the same way gravity exists because it exists and when something is dropped, you can count on it to fall to the ground. Because gravity exists and things do not simply float away, it is not good, it is not bad, it is not fair nor unfair, it just fucking is. And Addy dismisses the other girls’ thoughts, because she thinks they could never understand. Well, I don’t think Addy really understands it either!

I think at this point in the book, Addy truly felt like what she and Beth had was an inevitability of a sort. I don’t think she wanted it to be. I think she genuinely wanted to move away from Beth already, but on this point, I don’t think she was lying to us. Relationships are complicated, codependent relationships specifically can feel very contradictory and confusing. And I think she failed to elaborate more on it, specifically because such feelings were confusing and contradictory, and she didn’t want to think about it any more than she had to. She didn’t want to look at it. There are many things Addy doesn’t like to look at.

Major YMMV on this one because it’s left incredibly ambiguous, but I personally do believe there was a point in time when Addy was in love with Beth. Addy is the one who kissed Beth. Addy is the one who initiated their borderline (or even, some people think it went that far, I personally don’t) sexual encounter.

“I started it, but I don’t even remember why or how,” is her input on her motivation. But when is Addy ever honest about her motives? Almost never, not even to herself.

Also, the hamsa bracelet. The story behind the little charm is that it’s the Hand of Fatima. Fatima was stirring a pot when her husband came home with a new wife, let the ladel slip from her fingers, stirred with her own hand, and didn’t even notice the pain because of how brokenhearted she was. Or, at least, that’s the version of the story presented in the book. The one I know of IRL is different, but for the purpose of discussing Dare Me book canon, I am using the symbolism of the version of the Hand of Fatima lore presented to us in the book.

Beth is Fatima in this story. Addy is the husband. The new wife is Colette. Fatima was the first wife. The husband married his first wife, chances are, he loved her at some point.

I think three things play into Addy no longer being in love with Beth.

1) Beth’s possessive behavior began to feel suffocating and drive Addy away.

2) Addy prioritizes ambition over love and accomplishing her goals wins out over any romance, at the end of the day.

3) Addy represses her sexuality and probably even holds some (unfair) resentment toward Beth for feeling attracted to Beth.

My gray faced friendo, I am going to repeat that: this is all just my take. I think in a subtext loaded book like Dare Me, people are bound to come away with over a hundred different interpretations. I am not the authority on Dare Me. That’s Megan Abbott. I’m not here to crap on anyone else’s interpretation if they feel different.

All of this is what I personally took away from the book and since you asked, that’s what I’m describing. I’ve been giving my own personal take throughout the entirety of this answer, of course, but what I’m going to describe going forward is a lot of me reading in between the lines with my magnifying glass, and may seem less coherent than the above. Okay, here we go.

Point #1: I feel like Beth’s possessive behavior began to drive Addy away, because it’s a lot to deal with. Beth gets dog leashes for all the girls on the squad at one point, but goes as far as to have Addy’s name embroidered on hers. Addy goes to another girl’s birthday party and when she gets home, low and behold, Beth is waiting at her house. RiRi outright refers to Addy as “Beth’s girl,” as if Addy belongs to Beth.

I think Addy even begins to feel like she does belong to Beth, in some ways, and becomes comfortable feeling that way. But eventually, she doesn’t want to feel that way anymore. Their relationship is extremely codependent, okay. I think in both the book and the show, it’s more obvious from Beth’s side, because we’ve reached the point in that relationship where Addy is beginning to pull away. Beth reflexively seems to cling on even tighter, because she feels it happening. But it’s absolutely codependent from Addy’s side too.

Throughout the book, there are many moments (I’m not going to comb for all of them, sorry dude, it’s almost 300 pages) where Addy behaves like she and Beth are an entity unto their own. Even as she’s moving away from her as she develops her bond with Colette, there are instances where Addy will describe sensing things inside Beth. There is even a moment where Addy thinks Beth is touching her ear (the ear Addy scarred, mind you) only to discover, no, she’s touching her own ear!

Plus, Addy feels like she needs others to verbalize her thoughts/feelings for her and for a long time, this person is Beth. Implying that not only does Addy rely on Beth to do such a thing for her, but she believes that Beth can know her thoughts accurately enough to do so.

Point #2: I think ambition outranks love for Addy, because her goals are her endgame. Addy is patient, Addy is deceptive. Addy likes the way power feels and I think it’s one of the reasons she gets so high on her relationship with Colette (even if it is an inappropriate and eventually damaging one). Colette makes Addy feel powerful, probably more powerful than she actually is. I’m going to repeat myself a bit here and even copy/paste some of my thoughts about this from a reply I left to a comment on Ao3 (that poor person, I went into a full on Addy rant) because I feel like what I said previously is relevant here.

*deep breath* When we begin the book/series, I personally believe like on some level, Addy does still have feelings for Beth. However, I do NOT think those feelings are as strong as they once were, and I don’t think they are feelings Addy wants to have. I think the remaining feelings Addy does have for Beth are mostly there because they’ve been in a codependent relationship for so long, one that consumes her identity, and in a relationship like that, even if you don’t want those feelings anymore, they’re difficult to move away from. Because at some point, you don’t really know who you are not just without that person, but without those feelings, even if you want to, even if wanting to is part of the reason you want to get rid of those feelings. Codependency is a strange animal, my friend.

Although Addy’s relationship with Colette was never mutually romantic nor canonically sexual, I do believe there was a part of Addy that was ‘killing’ her remaining feelings for Beth through that relationship. “Love is a kind of killing,” is one of the oft repeated lines of the book, and I’d even say it’s one of the themes. It is Beth who says it, and we see that she feels it too, her love for Addy is killing her. She nearly kills herself out of it (though I’d say other things impacted Beth enough to put her in such a state that suicide felt worth it, even if her feelings for Addy were the primary motive, again YMMV).

The Matt/Colette/Will dynamic is another example of love becoming a kind of killing. Matt kills Will for Colette. If we believe what she tells Addy, then he acted on his own in doing so and it was an accident. If we don’t believe her, she might’ve even been the little worm in Matt’s ear who told him to do it. Either way, he killed for love. None of the audience really cares for their hetero nonsense, because Matt is sexist and both Colette and Will are predatory people, but nonetheless, their debacle largely impacts the story. And it supports the idea that “love is a kind of killing.”

I believe love as a kind of killing is something Addy weaponizes for her own development. To her own detriment as well, because it ends up taking her to dangerous places.  Even so, I think Addy had/has some lingering feelings for Beth she uses forming a bond with Colette to metaphorically ‘kill’ inside herself. Like finishing off an already mortally wounded animal, if you will. This would also support “love is a kind of killing” as a recurring theme.

Addy’s relationship with Colette gave her a crutch and a new outlet, and Colette’s encouragement (while the audience knows its manipulation) also gave Addy affirmation for the way she was already feeling about Beth— that she wanted to distance herself from her and come into her own. In addition, Colette seemed to be ‘safer’ because Addy doesn’t have to compete with Colette.

The presence of specifically female socialization is very palatable in the book. The way the girls slut-shame each other. The way other people see them, the feminine appeal of cheerleading. Others take the glitz and the glam of it at face value without understanding the more masculinely-coded things that go into it, like dedication and athleticism. Colette is a villain, no doubt, but you have to give the devil her due, and her circumstances are as miserable and empty as they are because she finds herself boxed into traditional feminine roles she isn’t suited for. Although the show is not the book, and I will maintain that I don’t feel they are identical entities, I do think Willa had a lot of interesting input on this in her Build interview, alongside Taveeta and Abbott. Check it out if you have the time—

Wait, where was I?

Right, right, female socialization in Dare Me. Okay, continuing on.

I feel that female socialization also plays an important role in the relationships between the characters, namely the Beth/Addy/Colette dynamic. We live in a culture where women are socialized to tear each other down and compete with each other even outside of the athletic arena. Combine that with the athletic, cutthroat world of cheerleading and you’ve got yourself a powder keg of an environment where those competitive feelings are going to come out full force. Addy, wanting what she wants, is inevitably going to have to view Beth as a rival, romantic feelings or otherwise aside.  

Colette feels like a ‘safer’ object of attraction because her cheerleading days are over.

Colette does not pose a threat to Addy’s thirst for power, she can only help her achieve it. I definitely think the lack of Colette posing a threat to Addy’s goals plays into how comfortable she feels with her. I also think, to a teenager with dreams of grandeur already feeling suffocated in a relationship with her peer, this is where the age gap appeals to Addy even as it disturbs us readers.

Again, Addy doesn’t have to compete with Colette, because Colette has aged out of ‘cheerleader’ and into ‘coach.’ Colette is a seemingly self-sufficient adult (initially) who doesn’t spin out the way Beth does, and depend on Addy as heavily as Beth does. Colette represents the agency Addy covets, and feels nearer to when with her.

I mean, we all know things change once a dead body is brought into that dynamic and we all know that Colette is emotionally manipulating Addy for her own purposes. But I’m not talking about Colette’s perspective, I’m talking about Addy’s before all the crime scene hullabaloo. What happens after the night with Will changes things, but up until that point, I think this is much of what Addy got out of her bond with Colette, no matter how inappropriate a bond it was. No matter how much it shouldn’t have been happening.

I will say, I don’t believe Addy ever fully realizes the extent to which Colette was manipulating her, although it’s clear as the book goes on, she realizes some of it. She picks up on things that don’t add up, acknowledges some red flags she initially ignored, and refers to her as a liar at one point.

Wait JJ, why are you talking about Addy and Colette? The question was about Addy and Beth!

Yes, but I think you cannot always separate the two. Because I think many of the developments that occur in the book between Addy and Beth, and the way in which they occur, play out as they do because of Colette’s entry into the story. Abbott said herself that Dare Me is a love triangle. A triangle is connected by all three sides, okay, continuing on…

I think there are things Addy deliberately sought out in her relationship with Colette— I will repeat this because again, I personally view this as part of the theme and part of the answer to your question— including ‘killing’ what remained of her feelings for Beth. I think it’s also very clear that she thinks Colette is the key to getting what she wants and accomplishing her own goals.

But I would go the extra mile and say she projects some of her feelings for Beth onto Colette. I’ve brought this up before, but I will elaborate more about that now.

I think Addy is earnestly attracted to Colette, just as Colette. Yes, even book!Addy. It’s more subtle in the book, but contrast the way she describes Jordy to the way she describes Colette. Her fascination with the way Colette looks when Will is fucking her. It speaks of attraction and that’s perfectly fine. It’s normal when teens have crushes on adults, what isn’t normal is when adults indulge those crushes. When adults pick up on the cues Colette does, and choose to fan the flames instead of snuffing them out. That’s the part that’s fucking scary.

But I also think she projects her feelings for Beth onto Colette and I think that helps explain why Addy latched onto Colette so quickly. When Addy messes around with Jordy, she does it because Colette points him out. And when she tells Colette about it later and Colette doesn’t even seem to remember him, Addy is taken aback, almost offended… and yet, just a couple of pages later, she’s disparaging the girls who do similar things for Beth.

“…hitching jeans low and flashing thongs at security guards. Beth likes to make these girls run.”

Colette and Beth also share some notable similarities. Both can be cold, cutthroat, have calculating thought processes. Colette even looks like Beth in the book. Addy also sort of tries to recreate a ‘better’ version of the bond she had with Beth, with Colette and this is where I stop and I’m like, man, what a weird freakin’ kid. Addy, smh. But you see it, right?

Addy flips for her coach like she flips for her captain. Ties the same bracelet Beth once tied on her wrist onto Colette’s wrist. Does the thing with Jordy very comparable to the things other girls do when they’re trying to impress Beth. Uses Colette specifically when she wants to become her own person, but can’t quite do so yet, because she’s so used to her lifelong codependence with Beth.

And you know how earlier I mentioned that Addy can control Beth when she has to? How the control Addy has over Beth is a quiet, deceptive thing?

Well I think that’s something that Addy projects onto Colette too. Addy is so used to being able to assert that quiet control and maintain the relational power (which is not the same kind of power Addy is seeking endgame) with Beth, that when she begins using Colette as Beth’s substitute, she doesn’t realize she doesn’t have it anymore. I think that’s one of the things that gets her into hot water later, because she absently assumes she’s going to be ‘safe’ with Colette the way she is with Beth, have that ability that she does with Beth to reel things back before they go too far…but she doesn’t.

Addy uses Colette as Beth substitute. But Colette is not Beth. Beth is spooky. Addy is scary. Colette is terrifying. Addy can’t take control of Colette the way she can of Beth. Colette is an adept master manipulator, an adult who has years of experience that Addy lacks. Colette is better at her game than Addy is at hers, and Addy gets in deep shit partly because she doesn’t recognize that.

I would actually compare the Colette/Addy situation a bit to the Kurtz/Beth situation in the show. There are things Beth wants out of Kurtz, she talks to him because she plans to use him, and it inevitably has devastating consequences for her. Kurtz is a predator. And he’s better at his game than Beth is at hers.

The situations are not identical. The consequences are not the same. But both are exemplary of teens being naive fools and thinking they have some control in situations they definitely do not, with people they couldn’t hope to.

Addy gets what she thinks she wants in the end. I’ve addressed why I think this isn’t as cracked up to be as she thinks it is in another post, but that’s not really relevant here. Addy chooses to pursue having her own power above all, and it’s Beth who winds up giving it to her, not Colette. But I think Addy needed to eliminate her feelings for Beth to actually get there, or even if she didn’t actually, it’s what she felt she had to do and most of those feelings were deteriorating already because of Beth’s possessive behavior.

Point #3: I personally believe Addy represses her sexuality. And I do think that plays into how she views Beth, both when she had feelings for her, and when those feelings began to die. I feel Addy harbors some subconscious resentment toward Beth along the lines of a “I don’t want to be like this, but you make me feel this way, and I hold it against you” type deal. However, again, I think that’s a subconscious feeling rather than something Addy is cognitively aware of, and actually, I don’t think it’s separate from how she’s fed up of Beth suffocating her. I believe it only feeds into that feeling and makes it stronger, enhancing her frustration.

Addy is often very cruel when she describes Beth. I think there’s a bit more to it than the inevitability of viewing Beth as a rival outside her control and somewhat within it, the possessive behavior Beth suffocates her with.

I think forgetting that she and Beth had a borderline sexual encounter was repression on her part. I also think this line;

“…and who need to talk of such wonders? We nestle them away, deep in the fury at the center of us, where things can be held tightly, protected, and secretly cherished as a special notion we once held, and then had to stow away,”

wasn’t just about Beth. I think it was about Beth and just like, pursuing girls in general. At least openly. I’d go out on a limb and say another one of the things that drew Addy to Colette was because Colette was a ‘safer’ objection of attraction in the sense that the likelihood of something happening between them was very low. Fantasize safely from the closet, kinda deal. But maybe Addy’s less aware of her sexuality, or at least confronting it than I’m giving her credit for. I mean, she looked up RiRi’s skirt and was all like, “why are other girl’s panties more interesting than your own?”

Addy. Addy, baby. Why do you think.

Oh, and I think Addy kissed RiRi without telling us! At the marines’ party, Addy and RiRi are hanging and then this scene happens.

“She’s fumbling with her phone, trying to send a text. Because it’s all okay because these are Will’s men and nothing bad could ever happen, one of them is pressing our heads together, wanting us to kiss.

“Always ready,” he says. “Always there.””

Then RiRi hugs Addy and starts in about how she couldn’t be close to Addy before, because of Beth. But that’s the thing. It just has that creepy ass adult man trying to make these teen girls kiss, then goes into some dialogue, Addy never actually explains what happens in that moment. If the guy made them kiss or if he let go of them. If either of them protested or just went along with it.

I personally believe they did kiss and I believe Addy doesn’t mention it for two reasons.

1) She’s trying to convince herself and us readers that Will is safe to be around, ergo his men must be too. But some grown ass dude physically trying to force teen girls to kiss each other is obviously a fucking creeper. Will is also a fucking creeper.

2) She enjoyed kissing RiRi and doesn’t care to elaborate on what enjoying that was like, because doing so would mean confronting her sexuality. Her sexuality being one of the many things Addy doesn’t really confront.

Wow, that was a long ass essay. In this essay, I done did. So that is my interpretation of Addy’s feelings for Beth. Feel free to take ‘em or leave ‘em, maybe we don’t feel the same way and that’s totally cool. But you asked, so I answered. That is what I feel is going on with all that mess there.

This essay probably has a shit ton of typos and for that I apologize, but I can’t comb through all this now. This long as hell and I’m hungry, I need to go eat. 

[secret-engima]

nammuellyll

@secret-engima congrats, you woke the monster. ardyn in my hero academia. there. go wild.

Me: MWAHAHAHAHA. You say that like I regret it >:DDD

-Ardyn in this wakes up post The Great Stabbing and is ... more than a little annoyed. Hello. He wanted the afterlife experience. HELLO WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS DESTINY OF FADING TO COSMIC DUST.

-But no. Apparently he gets to have a “second chance” to “be a hero”.

-Just let one of the Astrals show themselves, he’ll show where to put that “second chance”-.

-Anyway. Ardyn is Ardyn, he looks like he did in canon but he’s sane again. Oddly enough he’s still got both his armiger magic, his super healing, and some of his scourge-like abilities (scary face included). He’s not corrupted tho. Ardyn isn’t sure what to make of that.

-Goes and hobos around for a while, getting used to this world and the fact that everyone looks like a storybook encounter with cursed items gone wrong. Picks up a Smol Traumatized Child that can disintegrate things with his fingers off the streets because Why Not, Let’s Both Be Homeless Together Kiddo, then in short order gets himself known as a Major Villain when he finds a trafficking ring and, since Ardyn is Not Exactly Moral Even If Arguably Sane, he slaughters them to the last man.

-Ardyn is known on the news via grainy footage that only catches glimpses of his scourge face and a lot of rumor, he laughs his head off when the ONE soundbite they manage to get from the scene leads to his being named Adagium. AGAIN. Okay he walked into that one.

-Uses the resources of the no-longer-operational trafficking ring to set up a nice restaurant bar with a secret (illegal) clinic in the back. He makes dishes exclusively from his original time period and so the food is known as very eccentric but good. Ardyn rapidly gets the wackiest duel rep in history. To the mainstream/police/pro heroes he’s a shadowy super-murderer named Adagium. To the underworld and the homeless, the quirkless and the children, Adagium is a name that means hope and shelter, healing and comfort and a monster that protects its own rather than giving meaningless promises, all in exchange for simple favors like clothes and information and school books for his child.

-Ardyn makes special one-finger gloves for Tenko so that he can touch touch stuff without worrying about destroying it. He also, at some point, picks up the rest of the not-LoV by pure happenstance. Toga comes into his clinic hunting a patient, he scolds her, puts her in time-out, then gives her a lolli with heavy iron supplement because clearly if the girl has a blood craving she needs more iron in her system. Don’t you heathens know anything about the meaning behind cravings. Spinner gets into a fight in Ardyn’s territory, Ardyn patches him up and gently informs him that if he’s going to pick fights, at least fight dirty enough to win them. Twice comes there often for a meal and company that won’t look at him funny for talking to himself, Mr. Compress is bound and determined to get Ardyn to be surprised by one of his magic tricks (never works, because unlike Compress Ardyn can do LITERAL MAGIC). Magne is not a regular, but still shows up once in a blue moon because Ardyn’s illegal clinic is probably better stocked than most legal ones at this point (people tend to trade his treatment for actual medicine and equipment, Ardyn never asks where they get it).

-Dabi is the last to be picked up. He is also how Ardyn’s increasing collection of strays first learn about Ardyn’s superhealing factor when he TAKES Dabi’s fresh, weeping burns onto himself and they heal over in minutes, leaving both of them unscarred (or mostly so, Ardyn’s skin will always have faint ripple marks where the burns were). It is also around this time that, coincidentally, people start gunning for Endeavor and trying to make his life miserable. Because Adagium hates him and is plotting to end him, so clearly that’s their cue, right?

-The rest of Endeavor’s kids vanish in the middle of the night. No one in the police or pro heroes can find them.

-Far away in a little, unnoticed restaurant bar, Dabi holds his siblings tight and promises they are never going to have to suffer That Man again. Ardyn rests gentle hands on Shōto’s face and whispers that everything will be okay even as his skin bubbles and boils into an ugly burn before healing over with the faintest scars.

-Moving on from Ardyn’s growing collection of strays (that will keep growing so keep an eye on that):

-Ardyn doesn’t get the whole quirk thing. Or the whole superhero society thing. If something needs doing and it suits him then he shall do it, none of this Symbol of Peace nonsense.

-Yes, he said nonsense. The Symbol of Peace is nonsense and only setting society up to fall apart when this All Might fellow either gets too powerful and is made to take a fall or when he finally picks a fight he can’t win.

-Ardyn says as much to Toshinori Yagi, the nice civilian man who wandered into Ardyn’s bar without knowing who is running it. The man sputters a bit and asks why he thinks so, Ardyn just laughs and laughs and laughs until there is something unnerving about the sound and Ardyn has to stop and catch his breath. Blue eyes flicker gold as Ardyn murmurs that he’s seen it happen before.

-Somehow, Toshinori thinks this strange, eccentric barkeep doesn’t mean as a bystander.

-Ardyn meets Aizawa while Aizawa is on the hunt for Adagium, they eyeball each other like wary cats before Ardyn decides that this angry hobo hero is His Now and invites the man over for food. Aizawa declines. Ardyn casually slings Aizawa over his shoulder and carts him in anyway before Aizawa can think to retaliate.

-Ardyn is highly amused to learn that Hobo Man is after the Adagium. Good luck with that, truly, best of fortune.

-So, for those of you paying attention, Ardyn’s count of Heroes He Has Adopted is officially up to 2, even if he pretends not to notice the first one (pretends. Because he knows exactly who Toshi is, come ON it’s not that hard, they have the same voice and smile and everything).

-Ardyn’s kids grow up with his scathing political commentary and one foot in both legal and illegal worlds. Some of them (Tenko, Dabi, Toga, Spinner) decide that they’re gonna make a League to show the world how dumb its being. A League of Villains! (”League of Vigilante’s sounds more appropriate for your chosen activities, Tenko Mine-” “VILLAINS. WE ARE VILLAINS NOW.” “Alright then, will all villains in the room please wash up for supper?”)

-Ardyn finds Hitoshi and decides he’s not quite qualified for this one.

-Aizawa wakes up from another rare session of being black-out to find Ardyn cheerfully tearing up his apartment to make it more “child suitable”. Child WHAT. Child suitable. For your child.

-MY WHAT.

-Ardyn calmly holds out the adoption papers that have Aizawa’s signature on all of them, perfectly legible because the man is a little too good at pretending he isn’t stone drunk, and then gestures to the sad-eyed, skeptical boy with purple hair in the corner. Ardyn smiles (reads: threatens with killing intent) and says that he’s sure Aizawa will take his new responsibilities seriously (read: you’d better or you’re next on my hitlist).

-Aizawa, never one to go back on his word, has a kid now I guess.

-Shōto comes home one day with a bby Izuku in tow and Ardyn is charmed beyond all words over the boy. He’s so Smol! And Smart! Lookit his little brain firing away! Upon hearing the boy is developing All The Esteem Issues because of his bullying and quirklessness, Ardyn stares off into space for a long time, acknowledges that he’s a sap, and then soothingly tells Izuku that some quirks just come in late, why, Ardyn’s came in late too! Just give it a few days. Then he pats Izuku on the head and uses the motion to disguise the teeny tiny fragment of magic he splits off from his own and gives to this boy who deserves better.

-Izuku comes back two days later, crying for joy and with sparkling green magic dripping from his fingertips. Ardyn exclaims in “surprise” over the similarity of their quirks and offers to teach him. Izuku accepts and after some sweet-talking to Inko, Ardyn gets to mold this tiny genius boi as he pleases to both be proud of himself and his “quirk” AND to fight quirkless as much as possible because “tactics, my boy, take them by surprise!”

-Also then he figures out that he didn’t just lend Izuku magic because this world is funky like that, he genuinely gave it away which counts as LC adoption rituals so OOPS GUESS WHO HAS A BLOOD SON NOW.

-Oh well.

-Toshi and Izuku get along like a house on fire whenever Toshi comes over for a hot meal and Ardyn is pretty content with his brood and his handiwork against Endeavor (who by this point has been exposed as an abuser and put in jail for a long time HAH). Toshi ... pointedly doesn’t ask why several of his kids look like Endeavor. Nope. Not asking. They get their red hair from Ardyn, clearly.

-Of course, all of this casual wrecking of canon attracts the attention of AfO, who is not happy about the competition. He shows up at one point, all suave and intimidating because he is immortal and older than anyone alive and smarter too and-

-Ardyn laughs in his face.

-Baby.

-Bby playing at immortal.

-You think two centuries or so makes you hot stuff? You think stolen quirks makes you special? You think you can come into Ardyn’s territory and threaten his kids and get away with it because you’re ... a little older than the average human being? Ardyn leans close and smiles as AfO tries and fails to steal a quirk that doesn’t exist to be stolen, his Scourge face leaking into existence as he purrs that AfO should’ve minded his own business a little more than he minded others.

-AfO came prepared for a quirk. He did not come prepared for the combined might of 2k year old LC magic and abilities of a Scourge the world has never, and will never, see.

-It’s not even a fight.

-Adagium makes the news again when a body is found hanging from a high tower, torn apart as if by dozens upon dozens of blades, the corpse pinned in place by a spear that dissolves into red sparks upon the police touching it, leaving behind only a note that gets leaked to the media and goes viral.

-Dear World, refrain from touching my stuff, and you won’t end up like this man. Sincerely, Adagium.

-Not the most menacing letter until you considering the delivery method.

-Toshinori has to sit there and have a Moment upon the news that the man who murdered Nana is already dead by someone else’s hand and they have no idea when the fight went down. Because surely there was a fight, right? AfO had been centuries old and with dozens upon dozens of quirks. Who could possibly have brought him down when Nana, the then-wielder of OfA could not???

-Ardyn gently pats Toshi’s shoulder through the breakdown. There there. I’m sure you’ll figure out the culprit eventually, you’re a smart man Toshi. There there.

-Also Kurogiri shows up not long after that entire debacle looking for a new job because his old one got murdered and Adagium seems like an efficient dude. Ardyn is always happy for more hands on deck in wrangling the kids, and this one has warping powers. Welcome aboard Kurogiri.

[biodegradablepussy]

jj x pope ideas bc y’all keep writing angsty oneshots n i just want my boys happy even tho they’ll never be canon

jjpope being so into each other but also dumb and oblivious as fuck so they each go out of their way to study up on things the other likes. (jj looks up coroner shit n pope looks up boat shit) and then they keep randomly dropping facts around each other in hopes of impressing and their friends are sick of them and hearing ab boats and the dead

jj and pope meet at a party and pope does his weird ramble thing (y’all saw the show) and for some reason this weird kid amuses jj to no end and he never wants him to shut up

pope finds himself in detention and he keeps coming back because of this silly blond who openly flirts with him and knows no bounds of personal space

middle school jjpope sharing their first kiss??? YES. jj doing the whole “we should practice kissing so when we kiss girls it won’t suck” trope and pope going along w it?? ABSOLUTELY. pope getting bullied and overthinking what they said about how no ones ever gonna wanna kiss the boy who talks ab shit no one cares about and jj proves them wrong by spilling his tiny middle school teenaged boy heart and pulls pope in for a kiss (it’s not that good but there r fireworks all the same)?? WHY NOT.

those oneshots where it starts out with them as kids up until them getting together but it’s just soft fluffy pining (do y’all know what i’m talking ab)

workplace aus!!! places where if you’re single on valentine’s day you have to work it, so they come up w a fake dating plan to not show up to work for one (1) day??? SAY LESS. a diner au where jj keeps fucking around and pope hates that he’s so charmed by him?? YUP. a more grown up au where jj just wants pope to loosen up so he keeps inviting pope out just for drinks and it changes their dynamic at work?? MY SHIT.

i really want a oneshot of either pope or jj asking john b what it’s like to be in love and it just Clicking in their brain. or: all the pogues are fucking around n teasing john b about being in love with sarah yet again n one of them is like “how are you so sure lmao what does being in love even feel like?” and at the end they’re like oH

they’re always running from the cops in this show,, let’s do sumn w it. jj doing his regular antics (they could be best friends or strangers in this,, whatever) and somehow dragging pope into it?? OKAY. or,, pope doing a lame ass crime and somehow jj finds out ab the stupid shit pope has done and is like?? seriously?? we are jumping fences and busting our asses because you broke into the school for __?? IDK.

soulmate aus anyone?? they met when they were really small and they have the most generic saying so they don’t rly remember. but jj (or vice versa) is obsessed w soulmates and he just wants to find his counterpart and pope is pining, but agrees to help jj out?? and then in the end they were right in front of each other the entire time??? SAY MORE. soulmates where what u draw shows on the other person and jj uses it to fuck around??? HELLO.

COFFEE SHOP AUS!! them working at rival coffee shops and sneaking in under cover to each other’s stores. jj working as the barista n he keeps spelling popes name wrong bc he likes pissing him off. or jj as the barista and he’s fucking terrible at making coffee and pope likes slipping him notes on how to do better. pope as the barista and it could go one of two ways.. 1) he is AMAZING at making coffee, a snob as you will and jj is either obsessed w coffee or he orders anything BUT coffee to annoy him 2) pope is TERRIBLE but jj comes in anyways bc he’s cute and his friends roast him for it... can u tell i like coffee shop aus

new neighbor au?? GOLDEN THERES SO MANY WAYS TO DO IT BUT IM AFRAID THIS POST HAS GOTTEN TOO LONG

these are just some of the ideas i had, but i truly do love this ship w all my heart 🥺 hopefully one of you will try your hand at one xoxo (also feel free to dm me if u want,, i’m always down to be delusional and write essays upon essays about ships)

[normal-thoughts-official]

I love your Magnus responses! Some have brought me to tears :') hopwfully you haven't answered this yet. I always see fics/ metas on how Alec came to terms about his sexuality, but never on Magnus (or just a selecative few). In your opinion how did he come to terms with his bisexuality? - luxxmagnus

okay first of all I LOVE UR BLOG im so glad u like my shit omg fajsfoamsa and second of all BOY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW MAGNUS CAME TO TERMS WITH HIS SEXUALI-

okay SO. your relationship with sexuality is deeply influenced by your early years, as is, well, most aspects of your personality lol. so i think it’s fascinating to think about magnus’ relationship with his gender identity and sexuality considering he was born in early-1600s indonesia, aka right when the colonization started. meaning, a lot of their customs and views on gender and sexuality couldn’t have possibly been erased yet, but they were being very violently and aggressively repressed. and then he finished his growing-up years with asmodeus, a demon, who can’t really give much of a fuck about gender identity and sexuality. so this means a very complicated relationship is bound to develop, and i love it.

unfortunately, magnus’ exact ethnic background isn’t specified in SH (nor tsc, i believe) which makes the whole discussion a lot harder because there are hundreds of native peoples in indonesia. however, they were very much in contact with each other both before and after the dutch invasion and subsequent colonisation, so what i’m gonna do here is talk a little bit about the views on the subject magnus was definitely aware of, and go from there

i know this specifically asked about his bisexuality so i will refrain from shitting my trans magnus headcanon all over the place but i will say that the Bugis people recognised five genders, including one for AFAB people who identified as neither male nor female, and one that embodied both female and male identities

anyway, queerphobia is, in fact, a very recent and very european thing, and most indonesian people, like most asian people and most non-modern-western peoples, were actually A-okay with what we view today as homosexuality. there were even many rituals centered around men-on-men and women-on-women practices. they were also pretty open with sexuality as a whole; there’s even a mountain with a shrine where people have sex with strangers as part of their religious worship.

but, as we know, the european colonizers were very intent on killing off and erasing all records of their dominated cultures, particularly the aspects that directly challenged the european model of gender, sexuality and relationships, to the point where we, ppl born in previously colonised countries, don’t even know about our culture’s views on gender and sexuality. in indonesia, the dutch criminalised homosexuality and we can’t forget that magnus’ stepfather was dutch, and that magnus was born after the colonisation. 

so here’s the context: since it was very early in the colonisation days, there is no way that magnus didn’t know about the very rich and diverse gender and sexuality practices in his own country. there’s just no way. it takes decades to completely erase that shit. and we can’t forget that all indonesian peoples resisted colonisation, a lot. we don’t know the exact nature of magnus’ mother’s relationship with his stepfather, but it is very likely that he either enslaved or forced her to be in a relationship with him, because - well, because that’s colonisation, folks. it’s what these guys do. this is also supported by the way his stepfather treated magnus, because i mean, what the fuck. it was extremely rare that native colonised ppls would willingly be with their coloniser, particularly considering how the dutch were just, like, casually deporting and starving indonesian native ppls and ppl in java had been at war with the portuguese would-be settlers (would-be because they lost amazingly lmao get rekt) since the beginning of the 1500s. so im gonna go out on a limb here and say that magnus’ “stepfather” was, in fact, an abusive piece of shit coloniser who probably mistreated magnus’ mother and was probably a huge reason why she killed herself - i mean, your people are dying, and you’re bound to this guy who abuses and rapes you and keeps telling you everything about you and the way you live and was raised is demonic, that’s just bound to mess with you. actually, the religious aspect of colonisation that taught ppl that their cultures and religious were demonic and immoral and that they either had to repent for that and submit to the colonisers or be killed slash go to hell, hmmm…… well, is probably related to the fact that the idea that magnus was demon-related was repulsive enough to her that she killed herself? and that’s if we go with the interpretation that magnus was the main reason, which isn’t really reliable because 1- magnus clearly thinks he needs to Save Everyone and is bound to think that if anyone gets hurt it’s his fault; 2- canonically, it was magnus’ stepfather who told magnus that the reason she killed herself was magnus’ heritage. i mean i find it hard to believe personally that magnus’ mom didn’t know she was fucking a demon or at least a supernatural entity of some sort, and the whole angel-demon division is a christianity thing anyway, so what the fuck does this mean to magnus’ mom, really? especially considering that, unlike magnus, she probably was alive before the settlers arrived, so it’s even harder to believe that she would just uncritically believe everything about good and evil she was being taught by the guys that were, you know, committing mass genocide. i personally think that if magnus’ eyes were related to her killing herself at all (which makes less and less sense the more i think about it. i mean, what, was he born glamoured? surely she knew about this before he was like 11 or something) it would be because, in a way, this proved that everything she was being told about herself was true. she was demonic, her culture was demonic, and they deserved the absolutely horrific and traumatic things that were happening to them, and her son’s eyes proved it. so it’s not really about magnus as it is about, like, the entire continent of Europe’s bullshit. and anyway, again, everything she was going through was extremely traumatic - i think magnus’ eyes would be almost an afterthought, if considered at all.

anyway, sorry, went on a huge tangent here, i have no self control whatsoever. what i’m trying to say is that magnus grew up in an environment where expressions of different gender and sexuality were very repressed, but he was born in the heart of the very resistance. he was a native man (or, well, boy) and he knew for a fact that most people lived outside of the constricting western gender and sexuality binary, and he lived in a time where the europeans hadn’t really managed to dominate and erase their culture - of course, they never truly did, but the differences were way more latent. so magnus’ views on the whole thing were probably among the lines of “the asshole white people think the way we live is bad and are trying to kill us and that’s why they’re assholes and we’re trying to kick them out, but currently me and my mom are on their hands so i’m gonna have to behave like they expect me to”. so, lots of abuse, a very complicated relationship, but i do believe that magnus wouldn’t have internalised the european bullshit because, well, he was seeing the counterpoint and the resistance and he certainly knew which side was “his”. also in his flashbacks he’s wearing traditional indonesian clothing so there’s that - proof that he wasn’t completely assimilated to european views and culture.

and then he killed the stepfather (good riddance, rot in hell) and went to live his final teenage years with asmodeus. i mean, more like was found by asmodeus and forced to be with him by both the circumstances and asmodeus himself, but you get what i’m saying. 

here’s the thing: asmodeus is definitely an asshole and an abuser, but i can’t bring myself to believe he gave a good fuck about modern-western gender roles and sexuality. he is older than them. by a lot. and he doesn’t even care about the earth realm that much, his whole thing is that he wants to rule edom, so i’m not even sure if he knows about them beyond the, like, very very basics. maybe not even that. so during the rest of magnus’ formative years, and probably the time he figured out what exactly his sexuality was anyway, he was in a pretty open environment when it came to that.

so with that we’ve reached the first conclusion of this huge-ass essay that you probably didn’t sign up for: up until he went to England, Magnus was probably pretty comfortable when it came to his sexuality. like, shit, he was fucked up about everything else, but this one thing i can’t see him internalising a lot of.

i’m gonna fast forward the asmodeus years because i don’t have a lot to say beyond that and also i have no fucking clue what the fuck was going on during that time????????? like it ended when magnus banished him to edom, so i can only assume they were on the earth realm the whole time, but what exactly were they doing???? no clue. i am gonna say, tho, that i think one of the reasons why magnus managed to break out of asmodeus’ shitty “be evil” conditioning is precisely because he had been on the other side before?? like obviously magnus must have been an extremely compassionate kid (which again makes absolute sense in the context of him being part of an oppressed people that were trying their hardest to fight together. you learn a few things about community-building and taking care of others in that context, lemme tell you) since he was out there blaming himself for his mom’s death and also for killing his literal piece of shit stepfather who also tried to kill him as well, but i think it’s just that much harder to help your dad commit mass murder when you’ve been on the receiving end of it. obviously he was probably around asmodeus for a while (i’m thinking until he was like, 18? you know, enough to be an adult), especially considering how he needed the help to learn how to master his magic and also he had nowhere else to go, and also asmodeus was all over the place with “they will always think you’re an abomination, i’m the only one who understands you” and he had eyes like him and all. but still. he knew that he didn’t want that, he knew that he liked earth and didn’t like edom at all and he knew that in order to be himself he’d need to get rid of asmodeus. so he did.

anyway, after the First Great Yeeting Of Asmodeus (second yeeting was when he sent him to limbo so he would never be able to come back. ugh we stan) Magnus went to England. I’m guessing that somehow he met other warlocks during his time with asmodeus (which actually makes sense, i mean, asmodeus must have been wanting ppl to join forces with so he could defeat lilith? or something like that idk they never said anything about what they were doing with their time magnus’ backstory’s got more holes than a swiss cheese) and there seems to be a pretty tight warlock community, so maybe he went to wherever it is that the warlocks meet to gossip and shit? trying to find somewhere else where he belonged. and there he met Ragnor, who helped him break out of his shell and find who he was beyond the constant abuse and the deeply ingrained idea that he was Born To Be Evil.

so for a while, magnus was learning who he was, and again the Warlock Community should be pretty open with gender and sexuality considering most of them are also older than western binary bullshit and also come from different, non-european backgrounds. it was probably at this point that he started going around, having relationships, looking for someone who loves him and somewhere to belong in, you know. haha im fine and soon he figured out that he wanted to find out more about the world. magnus is a curious and creative guy, he’s going around inventing portals and shit, he wants to see the world. so magnus goes to the mundane world. it makes sense, considering in most of his pics he seems to be in mundane settings, and there were no accords at that time. also i mean even post-accords magnus is still going around owning clubs where mundanes can get in so i think he’s quite fond of mundanes.

and that’s when shit comes crashing down, because “sodomy” was punishable by death in England until the 1960s and like boy these guys were not into the whole free sexuality thing. at all. i tend to think magnus would go looking for sex and stuff in downworlder and warlock spaces, where there was a lot more freedom and nobody gave a shit, but he was going around meeting people, and he’s vulnerable and he wants to be loved and he’s definitely been in relationships with mundanes. he knows he needs to hide it, but it doesn’t mean he’s uncomfortable with it. so he might get the occasional insult and he knows he needs to be careful, but this is one aspect of himself he’s actually okay with

but like, he’s spent centuries doing that, eventually shit would go down. and it does. i firmly believe that one of his lovers got caught and got the death penalty. magnus managed to escape but couldn’t save him, and i mean, that’s at least the third time he’s blaming himself for someone’s death. immortality is tiring, and he doesn’t feel like he belongs anywhere. there’s the shadow world, but even there he’s being looked down on because the shadowhunters are racist assholes. he’s got his friends, sure, but he’s never really felt worthy of any love, or like he belonged anywhere, and he’s been through so much abuse and being used and everything he touches seems to go to shit and he’s tired. and he’s killed someone he loved. again. so he goes to the bridge. and camille finds him, and stops him.

now, i don’t know if that’s how they’ve met of if it’s happened before, something like, seeing each other in parties and in downworlder spaces or something. but either way, he’s at a really low point, and that’s the first meaningful interaction they have - camille saves his life. he feels like she cares.

she’s not the only one who cares, obviously. so does ragnor, so does cat, so does dot and lots of other of his friends. but at this point, he’s feeling so empty it’s hard to believe that they care, and camille is all too quick to figure out his exact weaknesses - she’s there to listen to him when he wants to kill himself, i can only imagine the infodump that went on that night. he gives her all she needs to know - his fear of abandonment, his desire to be loved, his belief that he will never be accepted no matter what, his fear that he really is evil inside after all despite everything proving that he isn’t - to use against him perfectly. camille is smart. she’s also manipulative. and she also seems like a ticket into a somewhat normal world - she’s a woman, she’s immortal, she’s acting all sweet around him and telling him that she understands, that this is why she doesn’t mingle with mundanes, that it’s better if they’re just amongst themselves, that people like them can’t trust too much and need to stick together. slowly, she plants into him the idea that he’s gullible, has a weak judgement, and is just weak in general for going around thinking he could ever have a thing with mortals or could ever find a space to belong. she uses that to drive him away from his friends and make sure he does as she says. also, magnus owes her, doesn’t he? she saved his life. how can he fight her, when she saved his life? how can he say no to her? how can he disagree? he’s gullible, he’s weak, and she’s the only one who has enough patience for him. everyone else leaves. she’s all he has.

in conclusion: his sexuality is a huge factor in camille’s abuse, it’s what makes him vulnerable to her and gives her every tool she needs to manipulate him. it’s not direct, she’s not about to make fun or dismiss his bisexuality because she knows this is not something he’s internalised, but she can weaponize the trauma that queerphobia brings to his life, and so she does.

she wrecks him. like really really wrecks him, everything he’s built for himself, his identity, whatever he had of his confidence. like he was still trying to build all of that, but he was getting there, and she gets him back to ground 0 just like that. i think he only broke up with her because she started doing her more Clearly Immoral shit and magnus can’t do that. say what you want, but magnus’ actual nature has always been to care and to give all that he can for others. and camille is just evil mcbad. and her abuse goes a long way, but i don’t think anything could actually break magnus enough to be okay with hurting others. especially considering how most of his trauma seems to revolve around the fact that he believes he is constantly hurting others, and it seems to me - considering how he’s going all around the place helping everyone and sacrificing himself without a second thought - that helping others is even a way to cope somewhat, he doesn’t focus on himself, he does his job and helps others and doesn’t think about himself and so he copes, he can do what he’s good at and also believe he’s somehow “repenting” for “killing” his mother and stepfather (it was SELF FUCKING DEFENSE he didn’t murder him, but he does seem to believe he did). so that’s probably when they break up, when he realises that camille is just. keen on hurting others and she’s bored with him and his morals anyway. i know that in book canon apparently the reason they broke up was that she cheated on him, but again i don’t consider book canon and show canon to be the same canon, specially considering how magnus is a wildly different character in those. so i don’t think that would somehow be the last straw for him. camille probably was cheating on him left and right but he probably just believed that it was his fault, or just kept forgiving her anyway because he had nowhere to go and it should be enough that she loves him and saved him, right?

he doesn’t really get around to realising that camille is a straight-up abuser and awful person (as shown by the fact that he seems to still internalise the whole “camille saved my life” bullshit when she was really just manipulating him and using his vulnerability against him) but he does realise that he can’t keep looking for a partner as a solution to his issues. he also doesn’t really want to be in a relationship after her, not when he’s broken in more pieces than he was when he left asmodeus, and that was a lot of pieces as well. so he sleeps around and all, crafts this whole playboy persona of his, and locks his heart away. dedicates himself to the downworlder children he keeps adopting and trying to help, reconnects with ragnor and the other warlocks - who kind of knew what was going on and never blamed him for it or for growing distant with them because they’re amazing and probably have seen this happen many times before.

he also carefully avoids mundane men. he’s not risking getting anyone else hurt.

but then there’s the 60s and 70s, and he’s in bloody new york, and the queer community is shaping itself, and goddamn, after all the hurt and pain he’s seen due to sexuality, he’s not gonna ignore this. also, his Adopting Instincts are way too strong anyway, he can’t really see people struggling and not do anything. so he supports queer spaces, probably made pandemonium one, too - a particularly safe queer space, since she could use his wards to keep police out of his business and ensure everyone’s safety. he definitely was there at stonewall and subsequent protests and parades, keeping people safe, weakening gas bombs and the like with magic, making sure they managed to escape jail.

magnus’ relationship with the mundane queer community is kind of weird, then - he’s not an actual part of it, not really, and he’s particularly scared of getting attached then, so he guards his heart with even more determination than everywhere else. but he still wants to help, so he brings in his money, tries to keep them safe, participates in some community activities and volunteers, and occasionally talks to some kids who were just kicked out of home or something, who are dealing with self-loathing and fear, and even though he hasn’t gone through the whole “my sexuality is unnatural” thing or particularly hated that aspect of himself, he does know what it’s like to be cast away and seen as a monster, and to see himself as uncapable of being loved. so he listens and he talks about his experiences and tries to help as much as he can, and for the most part, he’s successful and he feels kind of accomplished in that sense. he might never have hated himself for his sexuality, but this is the first time he is fully able to bring it into his mundane life. and it also helps him deal with and talk about his other issues, even if he can’t be 100% frank about being an immortal being who does magic and shit, he can connect to these people in a lot of ways, and he also has his own scars brought in by homophobia even if they weren’t internalised in the same way. also, there are names popping up for what people are, homosexuality is being decriminalised all over the world (even in england, he’s heard), things are starting to look up.

as the 80s come up, he knows that a lot of things are changing - that white gay guys are getting more and more space, that the word “bisexual” is being popularised, but also that the reason for that is that a lot of gays and lesbians are trying to get bi ppl out of some spaces, that there’s a division going on between people who want to be seen as palatable and are willing to step over others to get it, and people who refuse to blend into an oppressive society, or just can’t, because they’re trans, they’re people of color, they’re sex workers and homeless and they can never be really assimilated when, even if they’re not getting the death penalty, they’re still getting killed and framed as criminals for existing.

magnus is a person of color as well, he’s bisexual (meaning one of the groups that were being cast away and despised by the white, “clean” gay movement) and he’s been there since the beginning, where these exact people that are being driven away were the only ones building the queer movement, so i think it’s pretty obvious who he “sided” with. not much changed in that aspect, then, since the spaces of queer resistance he was used to were the ones created by the “outcasts”. it was disappointing to see a movement that seemed so amazing at first get slowly gentrified and push the most vulnerable people away again, but at this point, he was used to seeing the divide, to drawing the short end, and at least he could continue as he was and try and help people, right? so life was good as a whole.

then the AIDS crisis happened, and shit that was SO rough. people were dying left and right, they had nowhere to go and there was so little he could do. of course he tried his best - pandemonium, like many other similar clubs, was definitely raising money to help the victims, and he was definitely volunteering to help them, along with catarina (who’s better at healing than he is, anyway), but even healing magic isn’t as simple as “begone, disease” and this was a completely new thing, anyway. there was little they could do beyond try and lessen the pain and symptoms and spend countless nights awake doing research and trying to figure out what exactly was causing this and what they could do to help and try to cure it. it’s endlessly frustrating and he gets to see a lot of people he knew, and talked to, and helped, die slowly while he was unable to do much, and shit is that a theme on his life. he also blames himself for not being able to work out a cure - what good is fucking magic if he can’t do this? - even if he and cat do figure out ways to help, at least. but they’re just two people and creating spells isn’t easy and it’s not like their patients have a lot of time, and also he needs to sleep, as cat and dot keep reminding him. the mundanes beat him to it, and for a while he can breathe again. but then there has been so much loss and death the community is in shambles and they’ve been set back one hell of a lot, and magnus is so tired. his friends help him, reassure him that it’s not his fault, and he’s okay, because he’s stronger now, he’s been getting better during all these years and a part of him is used to it - it never hurts less, but it does get easier to push through. 

and then, well, there’s the whole war against valentine thing, and then the accords, so i think for a while magnus was kind of not very involved with the mundane world, and also this is already WAY to long to get into the 2000s and shit, but i will finish by saying that maybe after a few years magnus might get somewhat involved with the community again, because i just. really like the idea of magnus joining some kind of group of bisexual men and learning that SO MANY of them have gone through abusive experiences with straight girls that are scarily similar to his experience with camille, considering, you know, all the other layers involved and the fact that it happened centuries ago. and it kind of works as group therapy, and magnus finally realises that what he went through with camille was abuse, and that he’s not alone, and that queerphobia made him vulnerable, and that the fact that he is part of so many minorities can mean that, rather than not belonging anywhere, he belongs in many places and many different spaces, and he’s helped so many people in so many different ways. and then he finds out that there are other warlocks who are working as therapists and in there he can talk about his immortality issues and, well, other issues and he starts healing faster than before - he’s been healing ever since the breakup with camille, of course, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to open up to alec. like, of course, alec and him are soulmates and shit, but if he wasn’t in a better place he wouldn’t have allowed himself to fall for him like he did. and. yeah. magnus doing therapy and getting better and finding groups where he feels like he belongs, and realising camille was an abuser, please.

[ladyalice101]

someone still loves you

so firstly what the fuck. whhat thE fuuCk. 

secondly I'm dying 

thirdly please have this drivel 

fourthly d&d can suck my cock 

and FIFTHLY their endings were ambiguous enough that i will always believe that some version of this happened 

and finally, if you have some fic requests following this shit pls sent me an ask! i’m more than happy to fulfil our dreams (and what should have been)

(ps even tho they killed pol!jon and i tried to keep this canon compliant i ... couldn’t help myself lmao) 

read on ao3

There are two things that Sansa remembers most about the Wall and Castle Black.

She remembers Jon. She remembers exactly how it had felt when he’d embraced her when she’d first arrived, she remembers sitting by the fire and eating soup and drinking ale with him, she remembers lying in his bed while he sat by the fire or stood watch, and she remembers feeling the safest and most loved that she had since she’d first left Winterfell. She remembers Jon.

The other thing she remembers is the view from the top of the Wall. The True North, Jon had called it, when he’d taken her up there on her second day at Castle Black. She remembers thinking it was beautiful. The jagged mountains, the sparkling snow. She remembers thinking it would be peaceful, up there, free of expectations and politics.

When she looks over it now, as Queen in the North, there is no less beauty, but there is more pain.

Her heart aches.

It aches, and aches, and aches, and even though she knows she might be seeing him soon, she so desperately wishes that this weren’t the way that it had turned out.

Sansa doesn’t have to wait long. Before long, she spots riders coming from the trees. There’s a group of them, though from this high up she can’t make out how many.

She turns to her guard, Allister. He is young, but he had served the Lady Mormont faithfully until her death, and when he’d asked to stay in Winterfell by his Queen’s side, Sansa had accepted.

She misses Brienne, frightfully so, but Sansa misses everybody.

“Take me down.”

Allister leads her to the elevator, and they descend quietly.

“How long has it been since you saw him?” Allister asks.

Sansa had been irritated with his impertinence, at first, at his soft questions and his thoughtful opinions, but over time she has grown to cherish it. She has so little left to her now.

“Years.”

“And if he’s not here?”

Sansa can’t reply.

Allister doesn’t say anything more. He’s known, more than most, how much she’s struggled since the Wars. Oh, she’d become Queen to an independent North, continuing on the tradition that her beloved Robb had set, and she is proud to serve her people.

But she longs for something more.

When the elevator creaks to a stop, the men at the bottom bow gracefully to her. They’re her own men. No matter that the King and his Hand had reinstated the Night’s Watch, it doesn’t exist, not truly. Castle Black is abandoned. Any man still in the Watch truly lives further North.

She’s not brought too many people with her. She’s here under the guise of work, of course, but she’s only ever been party to these meetings once before. The first time they’d happened.

He hadn’t come.

And so she hadn’t come after that, either.  

The trading between the Free Folk and North is a prosperous affair, the North giving silks and spices and oils in return for furs and knowledge and hardy meat. This is one of Sansa’s easier alliances, and while it’s also the easiest to attend, it brings her the most heartache. Petty squabbling and demands she can deal with, even if they bring headaches.

This particular alliance reminds her of all she has lost.

When the gates creak open, Sansa stands tall and proud and berates herself for hoping that this one time she’s come, he might be coming, too.

She spots Tormund first.

His face is gleeful, and he almost bounds to her with his joy.

“The girl kissed by fire!” he crows.

He doesn’t embrace her, because he knows better, but she almost wishes he would. She wants that connection to her past.

Instead, he puts a meaty paw on her shoulder. “I’m surprised you’ve come after all this time,” he says. “He’s always unbearable after these meetings, what with you not being here and all. Oh, thank fuck I won’t have to deal with his pouting this time!”

“Tormund,” she whispers, fiercely, harshly, because she can’t believe what he’s saying. That way only sadness lies. “Who?”

He blinks at her, confused, lip twitched up as if to say what the fuck. “Jon, of course.”

Tormund moves out of her line of sight, and suddenly she can’t breathe.

Jon.

She’s stuck where she’s stood. After all this time, all her longing, now that he’s here, he’s really here, she can’t move.

It’s no matter, in the end.

He can.

He sweeps her into his arms, knocking the breath from her as he does. Her words die in her throat, her lips parted in shock as he grasps at her, a choked, “Oh, Sansa,” ripping from his throat.

He pulls back from her after a moment, when she does little more than stand limp against him, but as soon as his warmth has left her the damn breaks and she cries out and reaches back for him.

She doesn’t know if she’s crying, though she suspects that she must be. She can feel him shuddering against her.

When they finally pull from each other, Jon runs a hand down the back of her head.

“You look well,” he speaks, voice gruff and deep and oh how she’s missed his northern brogue.

“So do you.”

And he does. He looks sad, as sad as he had that day he’d left King’s Landing, and he looks old, too, but his cheeks are full and his hair is clean and even under all these furs she can still feel the hard planes of his muscles.

Sansa turns to her guard. “Allister, I’m going to go talk with Jon. Stay here with the party, alright? We’ll trade and negotiate tomorrow.”

She takes Jon by the hand, and leads him to the Lord Commander’s chambers.

He kneels by the hearth to start the fire, while Sansa watches him. The room is dusty, completely unused. She doesn’t know what this means. He’s obviously never spent any time here whatsoever, but why? Because he’s traumatized by what happened to him here? Because he genuinely wants to be beyond the Wall?

“Jon.”

He stops adding wood to the hearth, back bowing lower into the ground.

“Do you want to come home?”

He whimpers, fingers clenching around the log.

“Yes.”

Sansa lets her eyes flutter closed. She’ll make it happen. There are thousand things she can say; the North is independent and the Watch is under her jurisdiction, Jon is a Stark and his fate is up to her, Bran will release him from his vows in any case she’s sure, and who’s to stop her, really, the Unsullied gone –

The floor creaks.

She opens her eyes, and Jon is standing in front of her.

“But not yet.”

“Not yet?” she snaps, suddenly exhausted and furious and it feels like her heart is breaking all over again.

“Aye,” he says softly. “Not yet. I don’t deserve to come home yet.”

“What penance do you think you’re paying?” she demands. “I don’t care what anyone says, killing her was the right thing –“

He winces.

She bites her tongue fiercely, letting the sharp flare anchor her.

She takes a deep breath.

“I know that you didn’t see what she did coming,” Sansa says, softer, quieter, with more understanding. “I didn’t either, truthfully. But that doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice.”

His chest rumbles.

“I know you loved her.”

He’s shaking his head before she can finish. “I didn’t,” he admits on a whisper. “I didn’t, not really, but I saw what she could do for us, and then I just got so confused –“

He becomes frantic quickly, eyes going wild and shoulders heaving.

She hushes him, taking him back into her arms. She can’t help the relief that has unfurled in her chest, how it’s made her heart beat fast and quick as has made her stomach roil, but she will come back to it in a moment. For now, he’s unraveling before her.

“Alright, Jon,” she sooths. “Not yet.”

 -

 The first time Jon comes to Winterfell, Sansa wasn’t expecting him.

They meet at the Wall every two moon turns, an unnecessarily frequent amount to be trading and meeting with the Free Folk, but it as long as she can go without seeing him. Now that she’s had a taste for having him back in her arms, she can’t make herself let it go.

It seems that he can’t, either.

She’s still a fortnight from riding out to Castle Black, and she’s been preparing for it carefully. They’ve settled into a nice routine over the past year, but she wants more, now. She’d been going to ask for more.

(What that more was she hadn’t quite decided. It depended on how brave she felt. Would it be to ask him to come home? Would it be to see him more often? Would it be for her to ask him to press a sweet kiss against her skin? Or maybe she could be braver – maybe she could kiss him first, maybe fall into bed with him?)

She knows the Lord’s mutter about her and her wildling lover, and they perhaps even suspect the truth of his identity, but he’s not her lover, not really. She just wants him to be.

And then he comes to her. The horns blare and it sets her on edge, but when she arrives at the courtyard to see him and a small wildling party atop their horses, she almost trips over her feet in her rush to greet him.

“You’re here,” she whispers into his neck.

“I don’t want to cause any trouble,” he says back, “I’ll leave if this puts you in too much danger. I just – I wanted to see you.”

“No, don’t go,” she pleads, before she can help herself. She clings tighter to him.

“I won’t,” he promises.

When she leads him to her chamber, she knows that this time is different. They won’t just be sharing pretty words by the fire; they won’t just be working on forgiveness; they won’t just be mourning a future that was taken from them.

They’re writing their own stories tonight.

“I helped her conquer Westeros,” Jon says to her as the evening passes. “I defended her, even after she burnt the city.”

“You did,” Sansa says, because these are the crimes she has so much trouble forgiving. “But you passed the sentence and you swung the sword.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m worthy of getting to come home,” he says. “That doesn’t mean I’m worthy of loving you.”

She wishes his declaration of love didn’t have to be surrounded by so much sadness, but she knows why it does. She knows that this is the reason he hasn’t come home in so long.

Besides, they can have many more years where their love is sweet, where she can let it slip from her mouth without a care, freely, when they lay beside each other after a coupling or when they take their meals together or even just when she looks at him and is overcome.

“You’re trying to be,” she tells him instead of all of that. “But punishing yourself does not equate to repentance.”

“How would you let me find absolution?” he asks.

“Let you?” she repeats. “Absolution is something you must find yourself. I can’t tell you how to find it anymore than I can tell you that nothing bad will ever happen again. What I can tell you, Jon, is that you won’t find it by carving yourself from the North, from our family. From me.”

“And you could forgive me?” he asks, voice wavering, eyes watering. “For what I did to the Kingdoms? What I did to you?”

“Will you give me a chance to try?”

 -

 It’s been five years since the Great Wars, and Sansa is sure of herself and her power. She knows that if she were to deem it so, she could make what she wanted happened.

She is too scared, however, to even chance angering the Six Kingdoms. The Unsullied are gone, and the Wall is her territory, but if some of the lords were to get word that she’d not only pardoned Jon but taken him as a husband and is bearing his children – well. She’d not quite so sure they could let that happen just yet, and she won’t punish her Kingdom for her own desires.

So doesn’t, not yet. Sansa goes to him at Castle Black, or his settlement beyond the Wall, and he comes to Winterfell and she sees him so frequently that sometimes its like they’re hardly apart at all.

He always greets her with a fierce kiss, and if the whispers of the Queen in the North’s wilding lover were bad before, they’re insufferable now.

She won’t marry him now. Maybe she won’t be able to ever. But when her stomach starts to swell with her first child, she doesn’t mind that they’ll be a bastard. Not when she finds out, not when Jon arrives for the first time since she confirmed the pregnancy and his faces lights up with so much love and joy that all sadness disappears, and not when her daughter is born and she holds little Lyanna in her arms and tells her she is loved, so, so much.

Because she knows that her daughter is loved.

Sansa knows that she is loved, too.

[far-away-stars]

SINDAY HEADCANONS

just kinda decided to answer those all (from here) after the post being brought to my attention by someone >>

for Illyrio, ofc

lust

👀 - ever had intercourses with more than one partner?

Yes, as long as it was in a casual setting/with strangers. He tends to get possessive when his partners turn to lovers, so it's more difficult for him to get involved romantically and sexually with more than one person; in that sense, he is more of a monogamist, even if it wouldn't be completely impossible. But he happened to go to orgies, even if just from time to time, to get his mind off of things and kinda let go in an environment that befitted him, so, yes, he certainly has had sex with more than one person.

👙 - do they have some particularly weird kink?

Well, I guess one would have to define “weird” to me. >> At its base, I would essentially say power plays, but, his rank being what it is, I would say power plays basically are impossible to avoid anyway. Sith are quite a particular part of society. Otherwise there are some other stuff, I suppose, generally more leaning toward D/s, but I think the “weirdest” stuff comes from messy aus, so doesn't link directly to canon Illy.

💌 - do you enjoy one night stands/having fuckbuddies?

One night stands, yes, having “fuckbuddies” not so much. He isn't one to make friends or trust people easily. He essentially doesn't mingle sex with them expect in rare, rare occasions.

🔌 - do they own any sexual toys?

No, actually. He may/will acquire them if his partner show interest in that, but essentially he doesn't make use of them by his own design. He usually got by using the Force instead.

💵 - would they accept money in exchange of sex/sexual favors?

No. There was a time where he would trade sex with survival, essentially, but the people he would “sell” himself to didn't knew that, and basically all ended up dead, so he wouldn't say it counted. It was.. a long time ago anyway.

gluttony

🥐 - are they able to cook?

No. Let's keep it to that.

🌭 - what’s the biggest meal they had recently?

Probably something Muhn prepared him, if we are accounting canon universe. Otherwise he never really was a big eater, and I suppose at galas and parties and such you are not supposed to stuff yourself with food. I would suppose when he was younger, after a long, depriving mission, he would come back to wherever base was and eat everything in sight.

🍙 - do they enjoy foreign food?

He doesn't really have preferences, but seeing how foreign alien food can get I suppose he would rather stick to flavorless military rations than risk weird contaminations.

🌶️ - can they handle spicy food?

Discreetly, but it depends on the base taste of the spice. Some he isn't fond to.

🍎 - is their diet balanced or tend to skip meals/overeat often?

It's better now that he has Muhn/droids feeding him, when he was still in warzones and stuff he certainly ate more unequally.

envy

🤑 - did they ever steal valuable objects from someone?

At times, I suppose.. not so directly know, even if I guess between war spoils and crushing enemies and whatever possessions pass through his hands not so very honestly depending on who you ask. But it may more efficiently fit to when he was an apprentice and “finding” artifacts for his Master. Tho, if you kill the rightful owner I don't know if it counts as stealing anymore.

🖤 - do they wish to have someone else’s partner?

I guess it happened. Not much as a “I want that specific person” but mostly as a “if I own everything/everybody I'm the more powerful” mixed with a denied loneliness. As a Sith I think dark thoughts are part of .. life. Seeing another Sith, or whoever, with a partner at their arm and going “I will have them, I will and you will choke in the ashes of what you used to have” it's… common enough. He never really went through with any of those thoughts, though. He prefers finesse and discretion when destroying an opponent.

🤷 - did they ever ruin something they couldn’t have out of spite?

Probably, yeah. It's something that risks happening even now. The more Illyrio care, the more he gets closer to be dangerous about it. It wouldn't really be about “spite”, though. He has to care deeply, and those strong emotions don't work well with his Sith education.

greed

🏋️ - do they own a secret place for their most prized possessions?

It depends on what kind of possession it is. His Voss mansion is where most of his things go, and he has his secret rooms and safes, but he has other places too, depending on the nature of the object and on who may be interested in taking them from him.

😍 - what’s the most important material object they own?

His lightsaber..? And even then, he isn't that attached to it. His wedding ring is important to him, but, well, way less than Muhn is, so well, he wouldn't be heartbroken if he lost it, it's replaceable.

He is mostly attached to his possessions in general. The idea that he owns them and that he won't stand to lose them. He feels powerful having possessions, but isn't really attached to any of them in particular.

😮 - do they feel like they own someone? their partner, their friends…

Essentially, yes. His lovers, occasionally his friends. But yes, he gets very possessive of his lovers, even if he does try to control it at his best. It's a weakness, and an open door to lose control over the dark side than runs in his veins.

wrath

💣 - do they get angry easily?

Not that much, or at least they do temper it well in formal/work matters, but the most one thing touches the private sphere the more he loses control over his emotions. He does usually control himself pretty well tho, he runs by cold anger most.

🗡️ - have they fought someone in the past?

They fought plenty. Not really an hobby, but it never stopped him.

💉 - what’s the worst injury they had to deal with?

I have nothing specific in mind, but there must have been some very close cases, I mean, war and stuff.

👊 - did they ever punch someone?

Never his favored method of fighting, but his Master did strongly enforced training without the use of the Force, so if not punching per se (punching training droids hurts as fuck), certainly hand to hand combat was a thing.

💀 - would they ever consider killing someone?

Yes.

🔪 - did they ever risked death?

Yes.

pride

💪 - what’s their ability they brag about the most?

His own loquacity, I suppose.

👑 - what’s the possession they brag about the most?

Maybe his clothing, in general, but more by way of presenting himself than with actual words. Or yunno, his husband.

🌟 - do they enjoy being at the center of attention?

Yes and no. Yes, they do love it, but also they need alone time, cause swimming between sharks and always keeping up appearances is tiring as fuck.

👁️ - what do they think about their appearence?

It gets the job done. And to make it so it must be as perfect as possible. It's a general symbol of what he is and what he does, it's power, and it cannot be seen to decay or weaken one second.

👿 - how do they take criticism?

Ha. No.

sloth

💤 - how much do they usually sleep?

It varies a lot. They are not used to sleep that much, but they do nap pretty frequently. They probably devolve into a more regular sleep pattern once he truly starts to settle down with his husband.

🛏️ - are they likely do to any activity without complain?

As long as it revolves around his job or physical care he doesn't really complains, anything hobby/leisure bound he is very unsure of.

😪 - did they ever convince someone to do the hard work for them?

Hardly even trust anyone to, but he has droids and assistants and staff for the menial tasks. He is not really a lazy person, no.

[devilgem-archive]

heya!! do you mind if i ask a bit abt ur kyokoswap au?? if u dont wanna thats fine but any info/hcs u have abt it wld be cool bc the au seems rlly neat!! tho again if u dont wanna def no pressure ^^; have a wonderful day!! :D

VIBRATES EXCITEDLY i’ve been waiting 50 years for someone to ask about this!!!!!kyoko magica is one my oldest and most developed aus, i’m more than happy to answer this!

aside from minor adjustments to better fit each character’s arc, the story itself follows canon’s exactly! starts with kyoko having a dream about mami, ends with mami tearing apart kyokami in a new world. ofc a lot of the girls’ original traits remain in tact. kyoko is more like her pre-tds self, kind but ditzy and reckless, mami retains her ladylike grace, homura her overprotectiveness and so on…i always prefer leaving aspects that makes characters…themselves in swap aus if u get me? or maybe that’s just me

KYOKO

swaps with madoka. madokyoko or kyokami, as i like to call her!

a simple christian girl with a plain, ordinary life. kyoko had everything she could ever ask for: a loving family, supportive friends, amazing teachers- just everything! all of that changed when she meets a mysterious blonde girl in a post-apocalyptic setting in a dream…and that very same girl appears in her life the very next day!

while she has a kind heart, she is known to be fiery and unreasonable at times. this temper was usually displayed in heated confrontations with mami

the sakuras used to be rather poor. their financial status improved when the akemis stepped in to assist them, and the two families had forged a close bond ever since

eating is practically her hobby. still hates wasting food and will call out anyone who does so

is a d@ddy’s girl through and through. her father is wise and caring, so she often seeks him out for advice

her wish varies from time to time. in the first timeline she wished to save a cat she named Amy, while others had to do with wishing one or all of her friends back or to be able to defeat walpurgisnacht etc. her final wish was to erase all witches from the past,present and future with her own hands, which caused her to ascend to godhood and leave no trace of her existence in the new world.

kyokami felt lonely when she first realized she had no way to get in touch with her loved ones on earth. it felt even strange to be god herself…she’d always been a girl of faith yknow? she eventually embraced her fate as the composer of the universe, and is perfectly happy in bring salvation to magical girls all over the globe.

ophelia is the witch of abandonment. unlike gretchen, who desires to save the world, ophelia wants to destroy it. kyoko’s faith in humanity died the second ophelia was born…and the all-powerful wudan witch stops at nothing until this cold and cruel world is nothing more than barren wasteland

MAMI

switches with homura! her nickname is homumami, but she’s usually mamicifer to me

i like to call her moemami (or moemi???) in her ‘moe’ phase

was orphaned at the age of 6 when a fatal car crash killed her parents and left her paralyzed from waist down. the hospital had practically been her home since, until she was officially discharged yeaaaaars later

used to wear her hair in drilled pigtails, complete with colorful flower clips that surprisingly correspond to her future friends’ colors. in later timelines she would let her hair down and replace the childish clips with her signature bronze ones.

used to be wheelchair bound before contracting. learned to utilize her healing powers so she could walk again; she used crutches and ribbons to assist her during the early timelines. in later timelines, she fully healed her injured spine the same time she changed her personality

she had a big crush on sayaka in the past…something she’d rather forget. it still flusters her

her wish ofc was to redo her meeting with kyoko sakura

her birthday falls on may 1st. more abt it here

mami has a major sweet tooth.

candeloro is a miserable witch, literally shackled with chains of despair, forever alone in this nightmarish prison- her eternal pity party. although she comes off as aloof at first, her true nature warm and inviting, almost needy even.

she has her own set of ‘clara dolls,’ known as delightful dolls. there’s four of them, each resembling the girls of the quartet but represent the hostess’/mami’s worst aspects: vexation (kyoko), disgust (madoka), cruelty (sayaka) and love (homura)– the youngest doll is the least favorite and looks suspiciously a lot like the good-for-nothing’s dolls (see sayamura for the answer)

HOMURA

switches with sayaka. i lovingly dub her sayamura

was kyoko’s friend from childhood. they attended the same catholic elementary school together before mitakihara middle school.

sported her ‘moe’ appearance pre-contract. after making her wish, she ditched the braids and glasses in order to look ‘cooler’ (@ which kyoko wld say she always looked cool in her eyes

kyoko had been her knight in shining armor for as long as she could remember, and homura really wants to repay that by protecting her as well! she is also hella gay for her bff 

her wish was to have the strength to protect others

her shield is very similar to the one seen in the original madoka manga, though it lacks the hammerspace storage. her firearms are formed via magic

her desire for kyoko, self loathing and jealousy are big big factors to her inevitable demise.

homulilly here is a mix of her nutcracker and mortal world forms. each and every one of the clara dolls still exist along with lotte, luiselotte, liese and lillia.

love is in fact, one of homura’s dolls; because homura and mami cherish the same person deeply, their feelings intertwined and therefore ‘share’ ai. post-rebellion, ai continues to pose as one of the delightful dolls and attempts to revive homura’s memories behind mamicifer’s back

SAYAKA

switches with mami. her nickname is mamisayaka here!

ghost and lonely are big inspos,esp for oktavia

came from a rather well off family, so she never really needed to worry about provisions when she was left on her own. still, all the money in the world could never fill the gaping hole in her lonely heart

knows how to play the violin

her parents and kyousuke and hitomi all perished when a theater collapsed on itself. old wounds reopened when madoka left her to live life her own way

is the ideal big sis! cheerful, sporty and has good grades…For A Sayaka. beneath the facade she’s a depressed slob who doesnt take care of herself as much as she should. its oke as long as she hides it all with a smile :)

oktavia von seckendorff is very highkey based off lewis msa; deadbeat-esque familiars, an abandoned mansion/concert hall labyrinth and a disembodied glass heart, which sits at the very bottom of her lagoon- that kind stuff. those she falls in love with, whether romantically or platonically, are never to leave her- she wont be alone, never again. one condition must be fulfilled in order to kill her successfully: stay. if she’s truly feels content, she will accept death without fail.

MADOKA

swaps with kyoko. kyodoka has a nice ring, doesnt it?

used to be exactly like the sweet and well-meaning canon!madoka in the past, a key difference was she would resort to stealing and breaking other rules to keep herself and her parents and little brother alive.

her mother was a businesswoman who wanted to take a more innovative approach to her work. alas, this would cost junko her entire career and the kaname family became penniless

madoka wished for her mother’s dream project to become reality. just as ur familiar with canon!kyoko’s story, it backfired horribly. disowned from her family, her mother became an alcoholic, dad gets pushed around and baby tatsuya doesnt understand whats going on. days later…press f for the kanames and madoka’s broken heart.

is vile, absolutely vile. can be sweet in one moment then violent and emotionally manipulative in the next like the two-faced bitch she is

rarely uses honorifics to address people anymore, unless she’s playing sweet to get something out of someone. uses ‘-chan/kun/san’ for those she sincerely cares for; she didn’t call homura ‘-chan’ before she began sympathizing with the latter

has a minor problem with booze and tobacco, namely the latter.

she loves loves loves melons!

knowing the value of being frugal, madoka hates wasting things that could be put to better use. she can be kind of a cheapskate in some sense, though she's sane enough to avoid resorting to ridiculous extremities.

kriemhild gretchen is exact the opposite of canon!ophelia. this towering witch continues oh so obsessively reaching for what she cannot; that one faraway glimmer of hope sitting at the endless skies of her labyrinth she calls paradise. shes stubborn as all hell, and will not let herself be destroyed UNLESS one convinces her the world is already a happy place in no need of saving

NAGISA

nagisa is nagisa.

the same charlotte that ate mamisayaka’s head is now a bapy that lives with her post-rebellion

her wish remains the same: to have one last cheesecake with her mother

not much to say here

thats all i can remember from the top of my head! if you want me to elaborate further, pls ask me @mahoutrauma!! 

[storiesofwildfire]

SHIPPING INFO // Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

REPOST. Don’t reblog.

tagged by: @ofspaceandmyth  tagging: whoever wants to have this on their blog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse?

Honestly? I ship Loki with chemistry. Yes, there are some canon pairings that I enjoy quite a lot outside of rp, but when it comes to rp, it's more about how the muses get along and how the muns get along. I’m not gonna prioritize finding someone of a muse I ship Loki with over someone I hadn’t considered before. For example, one of my favorite pairings for Loki is FrostIron, however, I have not had a longterm Tony or the ship on my blog in quite some time.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

As long as both I and my partner are comfortable with something, I’ll do just about anything. Smut, I can be a little iffy on. I really have to trust my partner ooc in order to do really smutty threads with them and usually prefer to keep smut to a minimum, but honestly? There’s not a whole lot I’m not willing to explore in a ship. Healthy ships? Great. Platonic ships? Fantastic. Toxic and/or abusive ships? Yeah, bring it on, I believe fiction is a place to explore everything, dark or otherwise.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

Because most of my muses on this blog are literally over one thousand years old, age differences are expected. For Loki, specifically, he’s extremely chill with age gaps. It’s all about their cultural age. Loki doesn’t tend to date younger than someone culturally equivalent to himself. Basically, anyone under the age of a “young adult” or someone in human standards who’s younger than their mid-twenties is probably a huge no-no. Ironically considering Loki spends so much time with people who are technology younger than him, he tends to go for older individuals.

Are you selective when shipping?

Yes. If there’s chemistry, I’m always open to a ship, but I won’t promise someone a ship until our muses have interacted and are given the chance to feel it or we, the muns, that plotted a lot ooc and have figured our muses can click. I love ships, but not for the sake of shipping.

Also, I have run into a similar problem with multiple people where they only want to ship with Loki if and when Loki is male. They have glossed over Loki being gender fluid. They have glossed over Loki being a shapeshifter. They do not want to interact with Loki unless Loki has a cock and balls and nothing else. They do not acknowledge that Loki is a mother. Honestly, I have so many people treat Loki like a cisgender male and still want me to ship with them and I can’t. I literally cannot. So this makes me even more selective of shipping. A person needs to be able to accept Loki as a man, a woman, both, neither, and everything in between because Loki is Loki, regardless of form or preferred pronouns. 

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

Uh??? If they’re naked and they’re naked because their intent is to have sex then that’s when.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

Loki x Heimdall ( @vanirbound​ )

Loki x Bruce Banner x Hulk ( @rationalunreason )

Loki x Winter and/or Bucky Barnes ( @notcompliant )

Loki x Eris ( @dominionovershadows )

Loki x Fandral ( @fandralxthexstabulous )

Loki x Xiomara ( @bornofbloodandwater )

Loki x Zelda ( @lameshsorsye ) - tho they are just now exploring their romantic intent

Loki x Torin ( @forsakenmyths )

Loki x Lei ( @forsakenmyths )

Loki x Steve Rogers ( @weightofmyshield )

Loki x Johnny Blaze ( @ofcharredbones )

Loki x Lara Croft ( @raidstombs ) - she has sadly been inactive for months though

Loki x Set ( @dcmncticivs )

Loki x Wynter ( @lxvingdeadgxrl )

Loki x Sebastian Castellanos ( @dominionovershadows )

Loki x Jekyll x Hyde ( @likesbeingbad ) - though we haven’t gotten to the shippy shippy yet

Loki x Tony Stark - though I do not have an active frostiron ship on this blog, i just love frostiron a lot

Loki x Egil ( my own muse )

Loki x Vera ( my own muse )

Loki x ObiWan Kenobi - this takes place off tumblr, though

Loki x Poe Dameron - also takes place off tumblr

So basically a lot of OCs and a lot of canon characters that honestly started off because I loved the mun’s portrayal a lot more than being predetermined on a ship.

Any pairings you aren’t willing to ship?

Loki x Sigyn ( logyn ) - yes, okay, I know they are a canon ship in Norse mythology and some comic arcs, but in Marvel comics, Loki almost always hates Sigyn and in Norse myth, their relationship is not authentically genuine in my opinion. Sigyn didn’t like Loki until Loki pretended to be someone else and once she agreed to marry him, she was bound by her oath, not by love. People highly romanticize Loki x Sigyn when, in reality, their relationship was more or less based on convenience and both of them likely slept with other people while being married. There’s even room to argue that Loki and Sigyn’s son(s) were not actually Loki’s. If people don’t overly romanticize them, they like to play on the idea that Loki is abusive to Sigyn and Sigyn stays because of her loyalty and I honestly? Hate that a lot too. 

Loki x Darcy ( tasertricks ) - yeah, I know it’s popular in the fandom--at least, it used to be--but I don’t see it. I don’t get it. I don’t like it. I don’t ship it.

Loki x Thor ( thorki ) - if you’re gonna ship thorki, just admit that it’s problematic and unhealthy and yes, incest. If you cannot admit that or gloss over the fact that they are brothers, I’m just not interested, and I really just? Don’t enjoy the fandom’s love of the ship without the development or the acknowledgment that it’s not a standard romance and is, in fact, incest.

Loki x Hela ( does this even have a ship name? ) - this just makes me uncomfortable all the way around because in my canon, Loki is the mother of Hel and even separating that from MCU, it’s still... weird. It’s weird to me.

Loki x Natasha ( blackfrost ) - I’m not... exactly opposed to this ship, but I’d have to have an extremely special Natasha to make it work.

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

I would prefer you at least come to me and say “hey, I kind of ship our muses, can we talk about it?” I hate having someone just throw their muse on mine ic when I was not at all prepared for it.

How often do you like to ship?

If the chemistry is there, then I ship it.

Are you multiship?

Yep! Did you see all the ships I just listed?

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

I love shipping, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not here just for the shipping. Loki needs friends. Loki needs family. Loki needs enemies. It doesn’t always have to end in a ship, y’know, and I’d rather not force one if one or both muses and muns are not feeling it.

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

My love of my ships truly does come from my partners so I would not be willing to say that I love one ship more than another ship. 

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Talk to me about rping. 

Plot with me (I really do prefer plotting over winging it, so if we plot, chances are, I’m already in love.

Communicate with me ooc as we write because I tend to ship with muns I’m comfortable and friendly with ooc over people I don’t talk to ooc.

Allow my muse and your muse to just experience one another or gush at me ooc about them. If we chat about them ooc and see a scenario unfold where they might like one another, I’ll probably ship it.

Tell me if you ship our muses, even if it seems like I don’t. We can always talk about it.

[shipcestuous]

Tales of Berseria, part 1 (Submission)

I just finished playing what has become one of my favorite games of all time, Tales of Berseria.  And while it might not be a Fire Emblem game, it’s way up there with FE when it comes to… interesting familial relationships.

There’s a lot of different sibling pairs to talk about here, of different levels of “suggestive,” and I’m going to start off with a submission about the more minor ones, even though they’re all interspersed throughout the story of the most major ones I’m going to talk about in part 2.  And that’s when I’ll get into the plot itself and those most prominent relationships, between the main character Velvet Crowe and various members of her delightfully, tragically screwed up family.

Beware of spoilers and feels.

Rokurou and Shigure:

(Older brother Shigure is on the left; younger brother Rokurou is on the right.)

The first party member that Velvet teams up with is Rokurou Rangetsu, a swordsman whose main motivation is to kill his older brother Shigure in a duel.  That doesn’t sound especially ship-worthy, until you take into account the kind of people that the brothers are.  For both of them, fighting is their life, their one true love… and each of them anticipates fighting the other brother above anyone else.

The two belonged to a family of honor-bound warriors, but their other brothers died young because of that honor.  Only the first and sixth sons lived, and as Shigure was the head of the family with all the adoration that entailed, Rokurou resented him.  He started a rumor that Shigure was a traitor, and ended up being sent on a mission to kill Shigure.  He failed.  He tried and failed again (and again, etc).  He literally became a daemon because his desire to defeat his brother was so powerful.

Near the end of the game, they finally get their big, For Real, Rokurou-actually-has-a-shot-this-time duel to the death.  And let me just say, both brothers are having the time of their lives.  When Rokurou finally manages to deal the killing blow after so, so many failures, it’s obvious that Shigure is immensely proud of how much he’s grown.  He’s happy for his brother, and they have a nice little conversation before he dies.  That duel was the only possible way to clear the air between them, and since fighting is what they love best, it was… almost heartwarming, in a twisted sort of way.

Later, Rokurou says that when they really put their all into fighting each other, “I got this sharp, vivid feeling that pierced straight to my core.  …We wanted to keep on fighting forever, like an unquenchable thirst.  That’s a feeling we only got from each other.“  What a suggestive way to put it.  Surely the writers didn’t word it that way without realizing the implications.  I mean, come on!

Eizen and Edna:

Eizen is another party member of Velvet’s, and we don’t find out for a long while that he has a younger sister.  (Technically, as this is a prequel to the game Tales of Zestiria, most people would already know, but still.)  When he’s caught writing letters, his friends assume he has a girlfriend.  When Eizen is rattled by an enemy’s illusion showing a young girl with an umbrella, again they assume she’s a girlfriend.  Finally, he gets frustrated enough to tell them that it’s his younger sister.

In ToB, we don’t meet Edna directly, though she’s influential in ToZ, but still, Eizen speaks of her in such fond terms.  Even her flaws, he speaks of in a way that makes it obvious how much he loves her.  He also makes it very clear that his little sister is completely off limits to guys.  When he’s labeled “protective,” he disputes the terminology, saying he’s more “obsessed.“  Hmmm.

The two aren’t human.  Malaks, their species, don’t have biological families.  Eizen and Edna were born from the same location… but that alone didn’t make them siblings.  Eizen tells the party that there were many others who were born there, but they never felt like family to him.  But when Edna was born, he felt it right away, drawn to her, like they were meant to be brother and sister.  In a way, that’s even sweeter.

Eizen has a terrible curse on him that brings bad luck on those around him, so he left Edna behind to protect her.  He sends her letters out of guilt, even though she never writes back.  In a sidequest, it’s revealed that she’s tried to write him back but had trouble expressing her feelings adequately.

A brief digression about Tales of Zestiria, which takes place hundreds of years later (malaks can live a while): eventually, Eizen turns into a feral dragon and Edna is forced to mercy kill him, and it’s super sad.  (From what I hear, he’s spared in the anime adaptation, though.)  Still, their bond is sweet as heck.

Oscar and Teresa:

Finally, we come to the most explicitly suggestive sibling relationship of the three, between these two lovelies.  Blonde hair, green eyes… are they secretly Lannisters?  I mean, if the shoe fits…

Oscar and Teresa are members of the Abbey that Velvet is fighting against throughout the game.  However, they’re definitely some of the most sympathetic antagonists in the game from the start.  Oscar is a noble man in more than just social status, and he truly believes in the cause he fights for.  Teresa might seem cold to most people, but she’s warm and loving to Oscar.

The two are half-siblings.  Oscar is the second son of the illustrious Dragonia family, and he was often ignored by his parents in favor of his older brother, the family heir.  The only person who paid him attention was his older half-sister.  As an illegitimate child, Teresa was of a lower social status and was like a servant to the legitimate members of her family, but her little half-brother always treated her with kindness, and as a result, she adored Oscar.  Really, really adored him.

(An aside: Teresa and Oscar are explicitly set up as mirrors of Velvet Crowe and her younger brother Laphicet, but I’ll talk about those two in my next post.  Still, it’s important to note.)

At some point on one of her birthdays, Oscar gifted Teresa a pair of beautiful blue earrings that he’d been entrusted with.  What he didn’t realize at the time was that those earrings were supposed to be a gift for the woman he would eventually marry (a theoretical woman, that is–his only love interest in the canon is Teresa, haha).  When Teresa informs him that he was supposed to give the earrings to the most important woman in his life, the woman he loves most in the world… he smiles and says that, to him, Teresa is the woman he loves most.

That’s right, even knowing that they’re supposed to be for his future wife, he asks Teresa to keep them.  She wears them every time she appears in the game, and he comments on how well they suit her in their first scene together.  If they didn’t look nearly identical, I’m sure a lot of people would’ve assumed they were lovers from their dynamic in that scene.  And to be fair… they’re probably right anyway.

Oscar and Teresa are recurring minor antagonists through a lot of the game, and Teresa’s main motivations are getting revenge on Velvet because Velvet wounded Oscar near the start of the game, and otherwise protecting Oscar.  When Oscar gets a dangerous assignment that’s basically a suicide mission, Teresa concocts a scheme to keep him safe.

She lets herself be taken hostage by Velvet and her party and volunteers to help them stop Oscar’s mission, on the condition that they spare his life.  During this time, Teresa opens up a little bit about her and Oscar’s childhood, strengthening the parallel to Velvet and her own brother.

Then they run into Oscar, and when Oscar is persuaded to drop his weapon to save her life, she breaks free and ends up fusing herself with a daemon (the very thing the Abbey fights so hard against) in order to defeat Velvet and co. and protect Oscar.  Even then, she pleads with Oscar to not look at her when she’s so hideous.  (Her priorities, tho.)  It’s also noteworthy that the daemon is basically the embodiment of lust.  Just in case anyone had any doubts about the nature of Teresa’s feelings for her brother.

Velvet incapacitates her, but then Oscar attacks and she ends up killing him in self-defense.  Teresa is enraged (“you killed my Oscar!”) and attacks, and Velvet ends up mortally wounding her too.  In their dying moments, Teresa crawls over to Oscar, saying she’ll get his wounds all fixed up.  She reaches out with the last of her strength and grasps his hand in hers, and they die like that.  Lying beside each other in a field of white flowers, Teresa clutching Oscar’s hand.

It’s exactly as tragic as it sounds, and their deaths REALLY shake Velvet.  She usually acts like she doesn’t care who she kills (and often really doesn’t care) but in this case, the death of this loving older sister and her beloved younger brother shakes her to her core.  (You’ll understand why once I get into the story with her own brother.)

In the end, Oscar and Teresa do kind of get another chance at life.  They are reincarnated as two of the “Empyreans,” gods of the world, as their souls that were taken by Velvet are used to revive the Empyreans.  So… despite all that sadness, they do get another chance at life, in a way.  It’s not touched upon in-game, because the story’s nearing its end then, but this means they can be together again.  In a way… they almost end up having a happy ending, right?  I can live with that.

–

So that’s all for the more minor sibling relationships in Tales of Berseria.  Next time, I’ll get into the main plot and how it concerns Velvet and her family.  And let me just forewarn you… it’s a doozy.

What a wonderful write-up!!! Thank you so much for all of the details and pictures. I love your passion for the game and you make a really good case for each of the relationships you mentioned. Shippable AND suggestive. I love them all. 

[concreteenthusiast]

All of this is /rp of course unless stated explicitly otherwise ^^

I really love how well he was managed in the sense of creating a truly tragic character and the general portrayal of his mental health issues.

Like, at his core, he really was a man who lost everything he worked towards, was basically reliving former trauma (the betrayal but arguably worse), which understandably worsened his general mental health and trust issues into full blown paranoia (and all the other stuff along with it), without any kind of support system. But it's still a process. He doesn't just suddenly flip into a villain and even tho it seems sudden initially the build up was there and everything about his character just falls into place so nicely.

There's not a single point while watching where his character didn't make sense to me or I didn't understand his viewpoint. No matter if I agree with something he did or not it made sense for c!Wilbur and for his mindset and I could understand it and sympathise and I love that a lot.

I just fjdjd love sympathic villains a lot. In the end he was a deeply troubled character and I struggle to call him a villain more than almost a victim of circumstances.

He lashed out in paranoia and as a way to protect himself, along with not being in a position where he could receive help. Not because he was beyond helping or anything, but because his only "support" were a literal 16 year old and the guy that's openly only there for anarchy and chaos, on top of already being convinced he's hated and people are going to turn on him. In that kind of situation they were all bound to hurt each other more.

And he did hurt people on the way and obviously that's not good (neither is blowing up a country but alas) but it was always understandable in the way that it was from a place of hurt/a result of his spiral and not cause "he was evil now/always" (tho the fandom kinda does him dirty in that regard I feel).

Like. He gets cast out of his country, his son disowns him and he's convinced people hate him and then he's confronted with the idea of "What if I actually am worse than Schlatt?" and he embraces it because at this point it is the only way he sees that isn't him going under in despair and just watching everything crumble, (even if this is a result of his paranoia and general self hatred it still felt as a reality to him) it's the only way to him to do something . It's an attempt to cope, even if a terrible one. It's not I'm evil now >:). It's "if I can't do anything good, if I will be the bad guy no matter what happens, I can at least do the bad thing properly". It's "whats the point in trying to be good if I can only fail either way" (and it is canon that alivebur strongly believed no one liked him, nor did he like himself (via ghostbur and now voidbur too). Apart from the whole barely sleeps or eats during pogtopia thing... and like how his actual death happened.).

He can't bear to see his creation become what it was never meant to be (;-;), what it was founded against... So he doesn't. So he makes a plan that he doesn't have to. He believes everyone has turned against him so he tries to convince himself he doesn't care about them anymore (and fails. He may say he doesn't care about who's caught in the crossfire, but whenever it mattered he doesn't go through with his plans at the cost of someone else. There were his moments of mania like the pit scene but in the end he never wanted to truly hurt anyone who wasn't himself and Schlatt). He doesn't want to loose the one person who was always by his side and he still trusts (Tommy) so he clings to him and tries to keep him with him to an unhealthy amount, but hurts him, lashes out and pushes him away further in the process.

That's not an evil, terrible person, that's someone having a mental breakdown and desperately needing help.

Also I think it deserves a mention that whenever he mentioned his distrust in the others and the like he was written off and dismissed as crazy, unreasonable, told to snap out of it and things of the likes. Which is not a moral judgement of the other characters, since they weren't in a place to help either, but it most definitely didn't help the situation and was not what Wilbur needed in his state at all.

So in the end you sit there and want to help, but you can't and that just creates this atmosphere that just gets me. It creates this sense of horror that soaks the whole pogtopia arc, but it's not horror cause "oh Wilbur is evil and will blow up L'manberg". It's the horror of slowly seeing this person spiral and everything go wrong and being unable to do anything to help at all. If you really think about it we were watching someone's life fall apart in real time and that shit hurt.

And that sense of horror only works so well cause he's someone you can sympathise with and understand, and at some points find yourself agreeing with, and it was done so well. Even now looking back it somehow only manages to hit harder the more info you get further along the story. Not even talking about Ghostbur and the whole not getting a grave thing.

And admittedly this may be a bit personal cause I just sympathise and to a point relate to his character a lot (also I kind of forgot what point I wanted to reach) but yeah, he's just. Such a well built character. And I am begging the fandom to stop demonising him please-

So ye basically have my analysis? Character take? Ramble? Thing? Jrjrjrhshd

It wasn't meant to be that long I swear ^^

Tldr: Alivebur my beloved <3 basically

hey........... c!wilbur enthusiasts. currently, i’m half asleep, bored as fuck, & w/ nothing better to do, so why don’t you 👉👈 tell me what’s your favorite quality of c!wilbur/the analysis’ you have on him/just general shit about his character in the notes or reblogs or whatever. as a fellow, awooga c!wilbur fool, i’m open to listening 👁