#truly thinking that nothing about this makes sense if you don't consider these assholes really were in love huh

[barnbridges]

none of these words are in the bible, but they also are.

[vevobly]

Dulcet | Chapter 1

Generally, you like to think of yourself as a good person.

You haven’t done anything truly unforgivable—nothing so bad that some higher power would punish you for it. Sure, you've stolen a few things and lied here and there, but nothing too terrible.

But maybe... maybe you did do something wrong, and that’s why you ended up in your current predicament.

“Yazmin.” The ginger-haired girl sitting across from you—Kate, was it? You were sure her name started with a K—waved a hand in front of your face. “Are you even paying attention?”

You blinked once, then twice, before realizing she’d been talking to you this whole time. “Uh… ”

She frowned, crossing his arms to his chest. “When your mother told me you'd been acting strange, I certainly did not expect this,” She said.

You let out a small awkward laugh. “I'm still recovering, Kat,” You told her, scratching your chin sheepishly.

She just narrowed her eyes at you. “Don't call me that,” She muttered. “Only my asshole of an older sister calls me that.”

Well, shit. That was a bad choice of words. “Sorry,” You mumbled, turning away and avoiding eye contact with her.

“Are you sure you didn't get amnesia?” Kate raised an eyebrow at you. “You've been awfully forgetful and weird since that day you suddenly collapsed on the sidewalk.”

“I'm fine,” You looked back at her, forcing a smile onto your lips. “Really. I think it's just the medication I took earlier messing with my head.”

“What kind of meds did you take?” Kate asked you.

“I dunno—I just took the meds that my mom bought for me to take,” You shrugged, playing it off casually. “I'm sorry about being extremely off today, okay? I just feel.. tired.”

Kate sighed, rubbing her temples. “Why did you meet up with me if you felt that way then?”

“Uh, to assure you I'm not dead yet?” You tried to joke. “Besides, my mom kept nagging me to let you know how I've been doing, so…”

“Okay,” Kate suddenly got up from her seat and glanced around the diner. “I’m taking you home. You’re clearly in no position to wander around, considering you still haven’t gotten better from that concussion you had a few days ago.”

“Oh, thank you!” You smiled, grabbing your backpack and following her outside to where her car was parked nearby.

.・。.・゜・。. .・。.・゜・。. .・。.・゜・。. .・。.

But maybe—just maybe—you should reconsider everything else again. Because surely only bad people end up in your position, right?

There’s no way this isn’t some kind of divine punishment from some unknown being beyond human comprehension!

There is just NO fucking way it isn't.

You gripped your hair tightly, trying desperately to make sense of your situation.

“It's a god punishing me for all the shit I've done, isn't it?” You looked up to the ceiling of your bedroom, eyes closed as you took a deep breath.

You don't know how long you stared at the ceiling and thought things over for, but it must have been for a few minutes.

Because eventually, when you turned your head to look at yourself in the mirror across from your bed, your neck ached a little.

The girl in the mirror wasn’t you.

You didn’t have long dark brown hair, hazel eyes, or freckles. And your name sure as hell wasn’t Yazmin!

You stared at her, waiting, and hoping she’d disappear. But she didn’t.

You tilted your head, and she tilted hers. You stood up, and she rose to meet you.

“Oh… my god,” you whispered, eyes widening. “This is…”

This is you.

[faroreswinds]

Raphael only wants to protect his family. Unlike Ingrid and Caspar, he's happy progress is made. So for the benefit of the doubt, he doesn't think about the aftermath. He ain't the brightest, so he was just fighting for experience considering he's becoming a knight to provide his family. Hearing the execution is rough, considering he's a commoner, where people in charge makes those choices. Which makes Caspar more OOC, because of his gun-ho attitude. Then again, BE is poorly written cept for Lin

Shoot, Lysithea as well. She's speedrunning her time left in studies for the exact reasons like Raphael for her family. That said, the Empire messed her up, so Rhea's authority could intimidate her. I think it'd be interesting if the students saw Rhea as a person, not the Archbishop. Trying to keep peace is hard, when assholes like the Western Church and Moles screw up what's suppose to be a peaceful school life. But InSys don't care for character drama look at Egg's drawing of you (the teacher)

(“They died because of their culture!” but it was us who attacked them first and we basically didn’t even give them a chance to surrender. -you) ...So I'm going to push back on this here. Claude attacked but as he usually does, he generally tries to get people to retreat when they see they have no chance of winning. He does it multiple times. Claude wasn't going to chase down Felix and Rodrigue in this context. Margrave Gautier didn't know that but he really sacrificed himself for nothing here

Hmmmm, I’m not sure I agree. I don’t think Lysithea is intimidated by authority, despite her background. I am not a fan of speculation without behavioral evidence to back it up, and that claim is lacking in that department. Raphael I can somewhat see being a simple soul who doesn’t think about that kind of stuff, but.... Like, again, they openly announce the crimes of the Western Church and why they are being executed. 

Apparently, attempted assassination is too much for this medieval setting. And I find that silly. People have been executed for crimes since the dawn of man, and the crazy and horrific forms of punishment that have been dealt is insane. 

Have you ever seen some of the medieval punishments they have done, for even much more minor offenses than attempted murder? You could be punished for homosexual acts, being suspected of being a witch, for being the wrong religion, etc. 

Now it’s not like everyone was gung-ho about these punishments. There are records, as far back as 12th century, of people calling for reforms against such extreme punishments. But there was a time when hanging was an enjoyable spectacle, or the occasional beheading drew a crowd, eager for blood (especially for a truly hated person). 

As such, Foldan IS a medieval setting, and executions would have been a rather commonplace punishment. Perhaps not as insane as the real world (homosexuality is pretty acceptable in Foldan, and no one is executed for being the wrong religion), but regardless I highly doubt Rhea is the only one who called for the execution of wrongdoers in recent times. Dimitri himself executes his uncle in Hopes. Ionius had a bunch of people executed from Hrym. Etc. 

It’s pretty hard to believe that Rhea calling for the execution of assassins would be shocking. I guess you could say that maybe until that point, everyone viewed her as a sweet, gentle person, and that her being willing to put people to death is what was shocking. But they honestly seemed more bothered that these would-be assassins were just being killed at all. Especially when freaking bandits, who worst crimes could just be arguably stealing, are happily mowed down by the same crew. 

I don’t say any of this because I personally condone executions. But if you view this situation from the lens of someone from Foldan, it apparently seems that killing assassins is too much, but killing bandits is perfectly happy. And that just doesn't make any sense.

The scene was clearly not written with the actual characterization of the characters in mind. It was written to make the players go “oh yeah, Rhea IS scary!” because modern sensibilities condone executions as an acceptable form of punishment even less than past sensibilities. It is an inherently modern scene, for modern audiences. 

Claude attacked but as he usually does, he generally tries to get people to retreat when they see they have no chance of winning. He does it multiple times. Claude wasn't going to chase down Felix and Rodrigue in this context. Margrave Gautier didn't know that but he really sacrificed himself for nothing here

That is not an excuse, first of all. Claude’s first action was to attack to begin with- he never tried anything else. He didn’t even consider anything else. He just went “Yup, we are invading the Kingdom!” and that was that. 

We also don’t know what Claude was or wasn’t going to do with Felix or Rodrigue. He didn’t offer the same hand to them as he did to Ashe. He basically kicked down their door and demanded passage through their lands, straight for the capital. If he would have let Felix and Rodrigue escape, then by that logic Matthias wouldn’t have died in the battle. But Matthias did, because Felix and Rodrigue HAD to have their backs covered. It was that intense of a battle. 

Plus, Claude’s attitude of “it’s just war, bro” is not doing him any favors. He’s the aggressor. The Kingdom at this point in Hopes really was just trying to stay on its feet- it was not an aggressor, it did not start a war, and it was in the process of trying to curb corruption and pay for their crimes against Duscur. 

If Claude had tried all sort of paths first before invading, I might have a different opinion. But he didn’t. His first plan was attack, and his only plan was attack. He really is just Edelgard 2.0. 

[moa-broke-me]

Y'know, I gotta say, it's been really weird having a fanfiction going for so long.

I mostly say this because I tend to abandon projects kinda quickly, but also because I'm making a lot of revelations about minor characters that I didn't usually give a second thought. Octavian and Drew, specifically.

Like, I mostly just thought of them as generically insufferable people at first, and while they certainly aren't pleasant... Well, I can't really speak for Octavian, sure his mom may have abandoned him (I'm not sure if that's canon I just read that somewhere) and sure that's sad, but he's also a power-hungry, manipulative, pretentious bully. I do feel sorry for the guy, especially since he's just a kid, but so is practically every other character in the series, and for the most part, they all seem to know better. So I'm kind of ambivalent about the character. I'm not entirely sure he deserved to DIE, especially at such a young age, but I'd rather that over a rushed, forced, and unearned forgiveness and subsequent acceptance by the group, which is probably what Rick would've done with him had he lived all the way to the end.

If I were to give him an arc, let's say Nico does intervene when he sees Octavian's cape caught in the trebuchet, not because he's forgiven him or to prove that he's a better person than Octavian or any of that junk, but because if he dies, he escapes the consequences of his actions. Sure, maybe he'll go to punishment, but that won't teach him anything, it'll just make him miserable, and the people he's hurt won't be able to truly hold him accountable in a way that matters.

Once the dust settles, he's exiled from New Rome for his failed coup, understandably, but CHB lets him crash in the Apollo cabin, mostly through Mr. D's suggestion. He's gone mad with power, Dionysus can sense it, and he knows what happens when you turn people like that loose to roam the streets.

He hates it there, he hates the greeks, and he hates Will especially, calling himself his 'kin'. He has no kinship with this hick, aside from perhaps a drop or two of ichor in his veins.

I also think he should get bullied after the camp learns about what he's done. It's realistic, I think, and he deserves a taste of his own medicine.

The funny thing is, Will actually sticks up for him. What a fool he is, so devoted to him even when he's given him nothing but snide remarks and stabbing glares.

Maybe it's the guilt of being treated so well when he's treated others so poorly, maybe it's the realization that this is what it feels like to be freely, unconditionally loved, or maybe it's both... But he's willing to give the greeks another shot.

To be clear, not all the characters forgive him in the end. Less consider themselves on good terms with him, and even less accept him wholeheartedly into their circle of friends. And that's totally within their right. Like I said, I'm very ambivalent about the character, I don't think he deserves the perfect happy ending that most of these characters do, at least not without some major fucking development that would have to take an entire solo book AT LEAST. Even that ambivalence is a more favorable opinion of him than I used to have, which is just 'irredeemable asshole'.

Drew, though, is a lot more sympathetic than that. A lot more sympathetic than Rick seemed to realize. Like, she felt betrayed, it only makes sense that she'd put her guard up, that she'd develop a hard edge, a shell if you will. Granted, a shiny pretty pink shell, but just as hard and stubborn as any other. And yes, I'm referencing Botticelli's Venus just a little bit, y'know the one where Venus emerges out of the clam shell? I'm not sure what I'd do with her, all I know is that she deserved better. She deserved more development, she deserved an arc, and Rick, to the best of my memory, never gave her one. And that sucks.

What makes my fanfiction weird specifically is that both of these characters, in the beginning, were written just to be one dimensional high school bullies, because that's essentially how I saw them. And once I started seeing other people posting about them in a positive way, at first I thought it was weird and just kinda ignored it, but then I was like... Hey wait a second, this makes sense, weirdly enough. I never thought about it like that before but... You're right!

So now, I have to find a way to integrate that into my fanfiction. The only problem?

A lot of the shit that makes these characters so interesting didn't happen in this fanfic. There was no war, no death (ok a little death), no world-shattering consequences or magical powers. It's a mortal high school AU. So I have to find some other way to make these characters be just a smidge more sympathetic, while also staying true to the original characterization. Like ok, they're bullies, but bullies bully for a reason. I also don't wanna uwu-ify them too much and make them into sad wet blorbos (we have enough of those). They're still unapologetically mean and selfish, but they have reasons behind that now.

Anyway all this to say, read my fanfiction if you want to I'm really proud of it.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/315247323-daddy-issues

[livvyofthelake]

rewatched mirror mirror. as was voted the other day. here are my thoughts. i told you you're not allowed to be mad at me when i get mean, you all voted for this. i told you i was going to be mean, don't you dare get mad at me for being mean about the movie i consistently bring up in a negative light that you voted for me to watch again!! anyway.

perhaps this movie's most egrigious sin was making me fall in love with it at 11 years old. i can't in good conscious say that it's really "bad", this was THE movie for me when i was 11. i'm literally always calling this "my movie from when i was 11" this movie is as much a part of me as my genetically bad knees. however. i fucking hate my knees. worst part of my body fr. just like this movie is the worst defining movie i've ever had, all things considered.

its not necessarily truly a Bad Movie. it’s just that the only things that are truly good about it are a) the aesthetics. everyone on every visual design team was slaying on this movie, the costuming the production design the hair department the prop team the vfx artists the fucking genius that designed the dvd to look like an apple with a bite taken out of it.... just wall to wall GORGEOUS aesthetics oh my god. and b) julia roberts is here

other than that it's lackluster to just nothing. where to even start. the misogyiny? no let's circle back to that. let's start with the underutilization of my bff robert emms. also known as pythagoras bbc atlantis. hi bestie <3 i wish you got to be in this movie more. ok next thing. it's gonna be another complaint about an actor. yeah that one. no it's not just because i'm mad at him for last weeks sleep movie debacle. although i am still mad about that, that has nothing to do with the fact that he is a mediocre to quite poor actor, and he brings such a bad vibe to this character i am literally suppossed to be charmed by. even at 11 i had a sense of bad vibes. i could tell there was something unchic afoot etc. i was always so mad when snow white would fall in love with him every time i watched the movie but i knew it was suppossed to happen that way so i didn't really mind. but i hated it, i hated him. he's not a good person, and he's not that charming, and he's played by a man who seems to think he's in a combination knockoff shonda rhimes drama and a strange fantasy animated sitcom in 2005. can't explain that stuff just vibe or don't. he thinks he could do bbc merlin. he couldn't. not with 100% of his effort. conversely, bradley james could do this movie with three days notice and no script, and that's really saying something because he's like only the fourth or fifth most talented actor in that show's main cast. anyway why didn't they cast someone lily collins actually had good chemistry with. am i being crazy rn because i think he's got bad vibes or do you guys notice that they don't have good chemistry too? it's not bad per se. it could be better tho.

and where to begin on the weird. kink stuff. jesus christ. are we not suppossed to talk about that stuff? did you guys not notice that stuff? are you ignoring it because of the cool costumes? i don't even want to talk about it really i just think it's weird that no one ever wants to bring that up.

anyway i guess that brings us back to the misogyny. nobody likes it when i say stuff like this and i know nobody likes it but i'm gonna keep doing it beause i am so fucking sick of this patriarchy shit and how it invades literally every aspect of life on this earth and i am constantly intimately aware of all of it all the time and it makes me so angry just to like. exist in the world with all of this rage and knowledge and no power to truly change anything outside my own small life and circle and community. and like to have to log on to the chronically online assholes talking about media analysis website and still no one wants to talk about the fucking. misogyny that bleeds through every movie. is ridiculous. this movie wants to pretend that it's a girl power story just because they gave snow white a sword. it's very 2012. except that other media was doing the exacxt concept of "badass snow white" in 2011. 2007. 2005. like, i was there, i know everything there is to know about it, unfortunately. she's not a badass just because she can hold a sword she's a badass because she hates taxes. and she was useless with that sword anyway so what was the point of giving it to her, just so you could say you gave snow white a sword? just so you could get a little training montage? and then we ignore that half the dudes in this montage are routinely demeaning and objectifying her because she's a woman. ok work. feminism! and her love interest hates women and literally consistently devalues her capability and does not ever learn anything the whole time? and they're in true love? and then they get married after he has undergone zero character development and presumably still views her as inferior because of her gender and now he's going to become the king of HER kingdom and rule HER people? yeah that's the future gloria steinem envisioned.

i don't mean to say she's not a strong character, because she is, i wouldn't have latched onto this movie so strongly with my grubby little 11 year old hands if she hadn't been. but it's just so disheartening that a huge piece of this movie and this whole story in general is the love between her and the prince, and then this movie did so well making her a well rounded character who consistently defied expectations of the role she was meant to play as a woman in her society, and then she married a man that looked down on her and her values and her femininity, and HE gets to become the king of HER kingdom someday. i think he should kill himself. i hope she kills him after a year of marriage. i hope no one mourns him.

and really the whole "edgy(ish) modern fairy tale adaptation" thing is rarely done well, in a way that both honors it's source material and the traditions and conventions they came from, and creates something new. this movie was on a great track, it really does do quite well in this regard i won't pretend otherwise. i always gripe about how true love's kiss is represented in modern media, and this movie is not an exception to that (the POINT of it in fairy tales is not that the characters knew a kiss of love would save their beloved, the point is that they DON'T know that true love's kiss will save them. the kiss happens because it is a final gesture of love to a doomed lover. the point is that true love's kiss brings the lover back because the one that kissed them loved them so much even when all hope was lost. whatever it doesn't matter that much) anyway. the only thing really is that it suffers from Made By A Man Disease. not to be confused with the mere fact of being made by a man. it's different. and the men that did this one have some serious issues they need to unpack with a therapist and maybe also their mothers. it's just like. you'll never be the american broadcasting company's once upon a time (2011-2018) created by edward kitsis and adam horowitz. you'll never be her.

AND ANOTHER THING. i know am literally always saying that movies should end with musical numbers a la ella enchanted (you just can't go wrong when you follow your heart and end with a song fr) however. the ending musical number in this movie feels. slightly off. i like that it's very bollywood-esque, that definitely helps it stand out at least. it's not that it doesn't work, because it kind of does. or it works just enough. i think the thing i dislike about it is that they didn't commit hard enough, it plays on half the screen while credits go on the other half, it's like it's a little add on to the end and not the actual ending, lame! also the lyrics are very tonally off with the rest of the movie tbh. "i belive in love"? yeah girl, we know, the whole movie is about how you saved yourself and all the people you cared about from an opressive ruler becasue you loved them and wanted life to be better for these people you loved. you didn't like. learn to believe in love as this song might suggest... idk. it's not really about the lyrics it's more the uncommitted thing. also. the bollywood inspo would have been less tonally inconsistent if there were evan a hint of that in any of the other music in here. unfortunately. so it doesn't gel well and i kinda hate it for those reasons.

anyway hi clary i just saw you on friday <3 hi pythagoras i just saw you on wednesday <3 hi julia roberts, you've been on my tv a few times lately too <3 and hi to no one else in here that i may have seen recently.

[ashen-laguz]

I posted 3,349 times in 2022

That's 943 more posts than 2021!

121 posts created (4%)

3,228 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mintposting

@labor9

@the-coolest-baby

@noblevagrant65

@donuts4evry1

I tagged 2,119 of my posts in 2022

Only 37% of my posts had no tags

#hatoful boyfriend - 504 posts

#bugsnax - 116 posts

#project moon - 104 posts

#omori - 83 posts

#hitori - 75 posts

#library of ruina - 71 posts

#splatoon - 68 posts

#magical girl yoshi - 66 posts

#yuuya - 65 posts

#aitsf - 59 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and i'm always down for an extra nail in the coffin of the assholes pushing their agenda out on the streets where people are just tryina go

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

don't mind me, i'm just having emotions over yuuya when i should rlly be going to bed

god.

the fact that yuuya's only a grade above sakuya means he's only like a year or two older. (two years according to the wiki, at least)

trying to wrap one's head around how quickly the hatoful birds mature is definitely... Difficult... it's def quicker then a humans, but considering hiyoko is still about the same level of maturity as her classmates, probly not THAT different

the fact that it's close enough means that a two-year old yuuya is still gonna be a very young child tho, i don't think there's any denying that at all

which really makes the whole 'egg-smashing' thing such much more harsh to think about tbh. Kids are rash. They're not stupid, but they're also not fully matured. They haven't fully developed their ability to think through actions and consequences, they don't truly have any power in a world where the adults rule, they're at the age where they are the most impressionable...

so I can only imagine him pulling the whole 'taking care of smashing the egg thing' as like... a childish spite. Sort of a temper-tantrum, and honestly a very understandable one. can you truly blame anyone for lashing out towards the man who took away their father, especially if that man now wants to take away even more of your family? if you take away what a child loves, it's not out of the question that they'll take something from you in retaliation - it's what you just taught them, after all.

especially since one of yuuya's biggest character traits is how much he cares for his loved ones, and how he'll do anything for them. we always see this in how protective he is towards sakuya, but like... If Yuuya's got it in him to be so kind to his brother who is constantly cruel to him, of course he's probably got a lot of love for his mother as well. so if his mother was so torn up over potentially having to smash the egg of her own son, of course yuuya wouldn't have it in him to leave that responsibility - that GUILT - on her shoulders. Especially not when he's so very pissed at his father, when he's a young'in with a chance to lash out against the one who already hurt him.

Of course this 'lashing out' resulted in an innocent child in an egg getting killed. Not quite on the same level as... idk a kid getting mad when susie is irritating them with the "i'm not touching you!" game or whatever else kids will throw temper tantrums over. quite a bit worse then that.

but he was just a child, and one who didn't really have any options that allowed all of the involved parties to live.

GOD. He was so young when he joined the dove party as well!! Just 13!!!! I always sorta imagined that he joined out of a combo of not having anywhere else to turn, but also trying to 'atone' for the guilt he's carried with him for so long by then. I think it'd make sense that carrying the guilt of something like Murder for your whole life would probably drive ya to do whatever you can to... well, not 'make up for it' perse, nothing can bring back the life lost after all, but like... if you don't do all the good you can after shit like that, how can you possibly live with yourself? someone with that kind of guilt is likely not gonna feel like they can live for themself, won't feel like he deserves it, he'd probably feel like shit if he wasn't devoting himself to the well-being of others with little regard for himself

which is probably why he'd so eagerly and happily join dove party so young.

but it's also such a horrific way to think while joining an organization that's gonna train ya into (essentially) a child soldier at age 13. that's not a mindset that'll let you live long, especially when you decide to work in such a dangerous field, when you're gonna make all sorts of enemies, where your life is on the line every day.

god. he went through all of this while he was so young, in his most formative years.

he's still too young for this shit tbh. like he's still a highschooler by the end of hatoful. he's still a kid. fuck.

39 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

#4

ya know I think one of my fave things about yuuya’s vibes is how he reads so strongly as ace to me and is still such an absolute Thot. Like the more you truly get to know him, the more proof I have to my conspiracy board that he is not just bi but bi-ace. And he is one of the only fictional characters who does not sacrifice his absolute Thottiness in that process

40 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#3

god. hiyoko is absolutely one of the strongest characters i've seen in fiction - not in a physical way (tho ofc we all know our fave vitality girl is def very physically tough as well) but like.

hiyoko losing her family so young and seeming completely well adjusted to living on her own by the time we see her at the start of the game, where she's like... what, 16? yea we know ryouta and his family have def helped her out a lot, b u t.

considering relations between humans and birds aint exactly perfect, there's a lot that gal sure has to go through on her own cause of her family being gone. we literally see her go through discrimination from the fucking department store clerk in holistar, sakuya's def made a few snide quips about it here, there's no way in hell that's the first time she's delt with it. and she has to deal with it ALONE. we never see any other humans as we play the game through her perspective, which makes it seem like there really aren't any important humans in her life - thus no one else who could fully empathize. no one else who Gets It. no one who can offer advice born of experience of how to deal with it. that's a wonderful way for someone to feel extremely isolated.

i feel like there's also gotta be something to be said about her financial situation when you think about the fact she lives as a hunter-gatherer. yes, she strikes me as exactly the eccentric who might do that whether she had the finances to buy food or not, she's def mentioned before she's got some emergency money from her parents as well, we do see her take on jobs so it's not like she has no money, but like.... again, she's mostly living on her own, and she seemingly has been for a While despite still being a young student... I don't particularly think it's unusual to think it's something she might have started because she didn't exactly have enough cash to get by otherwise

she's got so much on her plate and yet she's always still so kind to everyone. so cheery. so positive. so OPTIMISTIC. i think anyone in her shoes has every right to be jaded and cynical after being beaten down like she has. staying so constantly optimistic when you know the world is not kind back is so, so hard, and yet she stays so bubbly and kind and compassionate to everyone she meets as if it was nothing. We never really see any true signs of her wanting to give up, of maybe even just considering a more cynical outlook, and that's really saying something considering how much we see things directly from her point of view, how much we see her thoughts on everything.

The fact it's not directly addressed that life is this hard for her, that does read to me as though she's bottling a lot up, which def aint good for her... But the fact that she keeps such a strong smile, she never gives into cynicism despite everything, things have hurt her so strongly and yet she still looks life dead in the eye with an attitude that says "Fuck you, I choose to see the bright side of things. There are always good things that make it worth while to push forward and smile another day, and I will always spread this joy with everyone around me"

yea hiyoko is the emotionally-strongest person in the game and it's not even a contest.

40 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

#2

i have a theory about hatoful boyfriend fans, and that's that you can tell just how deep into this bird hell someone is based on their opinions on ryuuji and hitori

i stg, throughout my time in the hatoful fandom, i've noticed most people who are newer/not super deep into the rabbit hole just don't think about ryuuji and understandably don't have a high opinion of hitori.

but the people who are stuck in this fandom love at least one of them. potentially both.

46 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

59 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[anakainosis]

People dont seem to understand they gather a lot of conflict to their spirit when they treat someone poorly and then think it's perfectly OK to walk away. They accept that the person they hurt will be mad at them and walk away like they had nothing to do with hurting them, because they feel in the right or somehow convinced themselves they are held at a higher standard than the "low value behavior" of being human and are unaware of their own narcissism.

To those who have honestly dealt with a narcissist or have been hurt deeply and need to truly escape their wrath, this is not for you. There are some truly evil people out there abusing, and they either need therapy or their ass kicked, and you deserve the peace of being free of their ugly soul. I'm not talking about you, the true refugees of those assholes. You've done the suffering, and my heart is with you. I'm talking about the pricks who pretend to be like you beautiful thrivers to gain attention from unsuspecting kind people to take from and dump at the sight of not validating their shit self-centeredness.

Lack if accountability will always show up as being bothered in some way in life by things that don't put value to your existence.

People like this are cowards. That's why their problems haunt their lives. Not in the form of memories of those they stepped on or harmed, that's life's way of protecting the harmed heart from you coming back to do more damage. It's by giving you a false sense of peace and joy and contentment dangled like the golden carrot in front of you to focus on, blinded to how you treat others along the way, and how they leave you because they know to stay away from narcissists who think only of yourself. It's so subtle that you think you're leaving behind all the negative wraiths, the roadblocks in your succes, and really you're running from your accountability of hearing what an asshole you are and what you've become.

But you keep pushing and pushing, and then you're alone. In your pride. Because you're being afraid of real connection and intimacy, bullshitting yourself into believing in your pure heart and damaged goodness, it doesn't make sense as to why you are not in the arms of a good man or good woman who thanks God every day for you and shows it in their actions. Or how can you no longer have that good friend who's loyalty and generosity goes stupid-creative for your birthday that rivals no one greater only now will no longer be the only one who remembers you because your false promise to go all out for them when that day comes was an empty promise and they're no longer worth your time because they no longer fulfill your needs? Even worse, instead of like you who shift it to look like you're the dissed individual, they actually try to figure out what THEY did wrong?

Did YOU stop to think YOU did something or said something or ignored them? Of course not. It's all about you. YOUR life. YOUR goals. YOUR injuries and YOUR logic.

While we live in a world where good and bad things happen to everyone, it might be something to consider you doing an inward check on how your thoughts, words, and actions have affected others AND try seeing how you'd feel if someone did those same things to you.

This is a conviction and not a condemnation. It's meant for you to see you bring the life you deserve also in the way you treat others. People like to throw around Karma, but it's not that simple. The person that hurt me is living their best life while I'm picking up the pieces with gratitude for those who have shown me more goodness than the asshole will ever learn to do. You can't live on a revenge mindset. I get now that "vengeance is mine says the Lord " verse. They ran so fast after they decided to hurt me, and I even tried to reach out to talk to them, but they're convinced I'm the villain. Further, small-minded people will see this as weak or foolish or simp. I call it strong and thoughtful of the relationship, and it's not being too chicken shit to hear out the person if you did something or said something or if you need clarification. To the coward, he's (or she's...let's be fair here) they're looking down on you and feeling righteous. You and your friendship, or love, were not important as they made you think. You are dirt. They "dodged a bullet." Riiiiight. Good save, asshole. Take what you want, and when things get too real, dispose of the tool, and destroy all of your part of the evidence.

But then I hear they are still stuck in their prison of self-centeredness and narcissism, but I don't feel good about it. Because they've still not seen their part in their own demise by their own narcissism and self-centeredness, they will do it to the next soul. They will have nothing but their own accountability to face. And I will continue to ask God to bless them and help them to be better for the next poor heart dumb enough to take them on before that.

...and to help me forget them.

I will never advise anyone to "let it go" or "move on", but try to ask God to bless them better for the next relationship they have. Be the person who hopes for a break in the chain that's forming to ensnare him kind in being trapped in their own pride, strangling their spirit and perpetuating a never ending domino effect of hate and soul bondage that only serves to suffocate and kill us and only hold us accountable only while a real enemy watches like a cat licking the cream. I don't regret meeting the asshole, I only regret seeing ahead of time I went about my friendship the wrong way with them. I was only meant to pray for him and give some encouragement that I was drawn in by his fantastic sense of humor and charisma and focus that I didn't notice all the conversations were about him. On his terms. On his time. I almost died at one time. His response to that was devoid of any concern. There was little to no consideration for me even though he claimed to be thoughtful when no one was to him. Embarrassingly, I realized too too late I was narcissistic supply till I was no longer needed, when I was simply happy being his friend. Lessons learned the hard way are not always the best way. So now, I'm learning accountability to myself. Took head trauma on Wednesday to really knock some sense into me. I'm a good person. I'm responsible for my words and not how you interpret them. I'd go all out for those I love and care for. But I'm worth taking time for. I'm not the same as those bad people in your past just because what I say triggers how shitty you were treated by them that you think it gives you the right to treat me badly. It doesn't.

I was a good friend and a good girlfriend, and I will continue to be because that's who I am. I do not have to prove it to you or anyone, but I'll be happy to be it again. I'll just be more selective moving forward.

#self-reflection #tiredjustsosotired #Grace

[inkovert]

I don't consider myself a slow writer or fast writer or anything of that sort. And to be quite honest I don't personally understand the immense weight/value that the writing community gives to word count goals or achieving/not achieving a certain word count. I get that it can be cool/fun to track your writing statistics over the years or set goals for yourself if, for example, you're trying to push yourself to query/publish and want to meet a certain deadline, but...outside of that? What does pressuring ourselves to achieve a certain word count actually accomplish? Like I'm really trying and struggling to understand. Does someone who wants to teach themselves piano so they can make cool music think less of themselves if they don't practice 8+ hours every day? Does someone learning to crotchet because they wanna make cool things to give to their family/friends grow miserable because they don't finish one crotchet "project" a week? If we truly love writing, then why do we beat ourselves up for not achieving some arbitrary metric of productivity regarding something we enjoy?

So I think the first thing is to ask ourselves - why does word count matter so much to us? How does the amount you write a day/week/month directly say anything about you or your skills as a writer? The amount of effort you've put in or how far you've come? That's an internal question that I can't answer for you. But someone can write 10k words a day and it's just a garbled mess of ideas to get words on the page because they're just starting out as a writer or simply zero drafting. Similarly, someone can spend an entire week perfecting 200 words of their wip and it's the best 200 words they've written in months. Is one person 'better' or 'more talented' than the other between the two? If one of your friends came to you and told you that all they've written that week was 50 words but it's the best 3 sentences they'd written in ages would you judge them/look down on them and say 'ew seriously you only wrote 50 words this week you're a shitty writer'? maybe, if you're an asshole but otherwise I highly doubt it.

Secondly, I think we need to realize how easy it is to make snap judgements. And I don't mean in the sense of looking at someone and judging them harshly. I think it's important to realize that every time we talk to someone or log onto Tumblr and see someone post about their writing progress that we are catching them at a very specific moment in time. You don't know where that person was in their writing journey 10 mins ago, 10 days ago, or 10 months ago. So that person you see writing thousands of words a day? Guess what, they're just coming out of a 3 year long writing slump and have just caught a wind of inspiration that's made them the most prolific and productive they've been in ages. But you're just catching them at that one specific moment, so you would never know that. This is not to say that there aren't people out there that do consistently hit high word counts for months and months on end and that's great for them! But I can assure you that that's not the majority of people. No well of creativity is bottomless or endless. Creativity and motivation come and go. You're going to experience highs and lows. Periods of massive inspiration or periods of nothing at all. And we all have lives outside of writing that dictate how much we can actually dedicate to this hobby of ours. That's just how the writing life goes.

So my point is this - be kind to yourself. Your worth as a writer cannot and should not be whittled down to a number. The same way you would congratulate your friend for being able to get 50 words down on the page in one week, do the same for yourself. Great, epic stories can be told in a 100k words. But meaningful stories can also be told in 3k words. 500 words. 3 sentences. As long as you're having fun and telling the story you want to tell, none of that matters. Your reader isn't going to judge how good your story is based on the number of words it contains, so why should you?

Slow writers of tumblr: has anyone figured out The Key to not comparing yourself to your peers who hit massive word counts daily? Or is this something we all struggle with together?

[13eyond13]

Do you think Ohba was a coward for not making Light a truly likeable character? I mean, he could show us more scenes where Light saves someone. For example, she saves a girl from Sibumaru Taku and his gang, and that's a good thing? However, we only see him save someone only once (yes, he says he's saving society, but particular people's stories always help to humanize or dramatize sth, to make us feel more involved in character's deeds). So, his killings of innocents really outweigh his count of saved people simply bc we are shown how he kills the innocent. More to that, these are innocent we even get to know which only makes us sympathize them even more (Naomi Misora, f.e.).

It's as if Ohba doesn't want viewers to question morality of the story. He gives us two views on the problem (whether one can bring good by doing bad things) and tells us that we can pique a side, but he himself makes everything so we don't like Light. He makes him homophobic, sexist, rude to people of service sector (if i remember correctly, there was a panel where he tells a guy who works in a service sector that they all look alike?), and there's nothing to counter-balance to it.

Hi!

Hmm, I don't know if I think Ohba was trying to make Light particularly likable or unlikable, and maybe that's part of why he's such a strong character overall. Light feels very much like an individual personality with a fully fleshed-out life and in-depth worldview and psychology, all of which makes total sense when you consider everything you know about his home life and social status and about how he started using the Death Note and the specific age he was when he first picked it up. If Ohba had been consciously setting out to either make Light more or less sympathetic then I think it probably would've weakened his character somehow; in the behind the scenes book it sounds like Ohba was always letting Light's personality and ideals and good/unlazy writing dictate his actions and behaviour, rather than how appealing or unappealing he thought Light would be to the audience for what he does. I don't recall Light ever being outright homophobic in canon, but you're right in that he is pretty easy to dislike for how disdainfully he views and treats other people a lot of the time. In my opinion he's by far the most complex and hard to pin down character in the manga series though, because there are many layers to his motivations and actions and psychology and behaviour in comparison to most of the characters orbiting around him in the plot. I think there's also a bit more of a gradual transformation of Light's character and the inhumane actions he is willing to stoop to in order to achieve his goals and avoid capture than some people claim. It's subtle stuff at times, but he is depicted struggling with things inwardly and trying to justify stuff and seeing a lot of the nuance in the hard choices he's making beyond just coldly murdering people to achieve his goals and save his own skin. Other examples I can think of in the manga are saving Sayu when she gets kidnapped, and how differently he behaves when he loses his Kira memories and seemingly reverts back to the principled type of person he'd believed himself to be prior to becoming a murderer with a magical killing notebook. It's a shame the other adaptations and spinoffs of DN haven't ever really been able to completely do justice to this aspect of his character, because that's a huge part of what makes the manga story such an interesting and enduring classic to me.

So whether or not Ohba set out to make Light likable, I'd say just as many people love Light as a character as despise him. And I think that's because he does have more depth to him and his writing than simply being a generic edgy asshole with zero redeeming qualities, or zero vulnerabilities, or no moral code by which he abides.

[aspoonofsugar]

What do you think of the theory that Penny is coming back? I really don't see it but everyone seems sure she is.

Hello anon,

I actually agree with you and @hamliet here.

I mean, in a story nothing is set in stone. In particular, in such a long series what has a specific meaning in a moment of the story can be discussed and deconstructed later on. However, as for now, I think the framing around Penny’s death is very clearly sad, but cathartic and a fitting conclusion to her arc (and to the Atlas arc as a whole).

I am writing a meta on her arc, so I won’t write much about it here.

Still, I actually think the narrative has gone out of its way to suggest that if Penny were to die again, things could not be fixed so easily:

Ruby: Even if the worst does happen, you can always reactivate her again, so maybe try not to worry so much.

(...)

Ruby: You gave her part of yours?

Pietro: Yes, and each time I rebuild Penny, it takes a little more. If people get their wish and she's destroyed, I won't be able to…

Someone may suggest that Pietro might be willing ot sacrifice himself for his daughter. After all, it is a recurring trope in fiction. Still... one of the point of Penny’s arc in the climax of volume 8 is that she has grown:

In volume 7 she receives the Maiden’s power, while at the end of volume 8 she is the one who gives it away. Her receiving the power is framed as an aknowledgement of her personhood. At the end of volume 8 she is able to do the same for another person:

Winter: No, Penny, you were always the real Maiden at heart. I was just a machine. Just… following orders.

Penny: You’re my friend.

She is literally becoming Winter’s blue fairy and is doing for her what her two fairies did for her.

She is entrusting Winter with the power, like Fria did with her. This happens because Winter has symbolically grown into her own person throughout the volume.

However, Penny is also doing something way more important. She is doing what her true fairy did for her:

Ruby is Penny’s true blue fairy because it was Ruby seeing Penny as a real girl that made Penny feel human.

Here, she is doing the same for Winter.

In short, our Penny has grown until she has become not only a “true girl”, but literally a “blue fairy” of her own.

Because of this framing, it would not work for her to be treated as a child by the narrative once again.

Moreover, last time Penny has been revived because of this:

Pietro: Died? I guess, in a manner of speaking, she did. But we were able to recover her core from Amity Arena once it had made its way back to Atlas. It took me some time, but…

Pietro needs her robotic core to revive her, but it is gone:

Personally, I also think it would not work structurally. Penny’s sacrifice is a very powerful scene. It literally ties together ALL the themes of the Atlas arc, her own character arc, Winter’s arc and much more.

In order to bring back a character after such a powerful ending... one needs time to build a narrative that does not pail in comparison. It would need to be very complex not to cheapen her sacrifice and honestly... Penny is not a main character.

She is an important one for sure, but she is not one of the main eight whose journey we are following and she is not Cinder either. She is more like Pyrrha in terms of importance in the sense she is one of the main characters of a specific arc. Pyrrha was the Vale’s arc MC and Penny was Atlas’s. She is literally at the centre of the Atlas’s plot-line. However, she is not at the centre of the whole story.

Finally, as @hamliet noticed...this does not seem to work for the themes of the whole series as well. As a matter of fact the whole story started because of this:

God of Light: You must learn the importance of life and death. Only then may you rest.

The Gods might be assholes, but they are important thematically, as it is the cycle of life and death.

Salem’s inability to understand the cycle after all is why things turned out this way.

Even if you want to blame the Gods’ pettiness for what happened... it is honestly still the same. After all, what is the root of their conflict?

God of Light: I am abiding by the rules we agreed upon!

God of Darkness: Rules that I now see are ever in your favor. And yet the day a mortal comes to pray at my feet before your own, so do you arrive to lay your judgment upon me!

The root of the Gods’ conflict is literally that humans worship the God of Light and are scared from the God of Darkness. Humans only value life, but escape and do not accept death.

You could argue that it can’t be it because Light is actually the one against resurrecting Ozma, while Darkness initially agrees and changes his mind when he discovers Salem went to him as a last resort.

However, there is another thematic reason for this.

Light and Darkness are not only Life and Death, but also Order and Chaos.

This is why Light is lawfull and wants to respect the cycle. This is also why he is totally unable to offer Salem any kind of emotional support whatsoever. Everything is in subordination of the rules and of the law.

This is why Darkness acts only following his emotions. A person comes to him for help? Screw everything, he is helping her because she chose him. Oh wait, she considered him only as a last resort? Nevermind then.

Let’s highlight that these oppositions are literally mirrored in the two Kingdoms that host the relics of Creation and Destruction.

Atlas is an authoritarian and military country.

Vacuo is unstable and lacks a strong government.

This is also why one of the themes linked to creation was control.

In short, accepting and understanding the cycle of life and death is literally one of the heart aspects of the series.

By this, I do not mean that one should glorify death and this is conveyed once again by Salem herself.

Salem started her story refusing death, but then she has grown to despise life. This is why she can’t free herself. It is not one or the other... it is about loving life and accepting death.

Let’s highlight these two sides of Salem are conveyed through two members of her team:

Hazel is unable to accept death. He could not grieve her sister and refuses that she has made a specific choice to fight and to accept the risk of death to protect others. This is why it makes sense he finally dies doing that same choice.

Tyrian glorifies death and destruction and I would find it very ironically if he dies begging for his life instead. (Or something similar, but I do not think Tyrian will have such a sympathetic death tbh).

In short, coming back to life is actually never framed that positively in RWBY. Salem and Ozpin see it as a curse and in Penny’s case it was a property of her robotic body and we know Penny had complex feelings over it.

She wanted to truly feel alive.

This means the ability to feel somebody’s else warmth:

But also the pain:

At least, this is how I see things so far. Anyway, to each their own and we’ll see how things develop.

Thank you for the ask!

[embracethecringeside]

OK, here's one: do you think that there's any genuine good in Rick? I can't make up my mind about that one. I don't think he's evil or a sociopath (a lot of fans called him that in the early days, that term is so misused), but his intense self-hatred seems to be the only redeeming thing about him. He must have some sense of morality because he knows he's done horrible things, but he makes zero effort to stop doing horrible things unless it benefits him somehow.

My short answer is yes, Rick has genuine good wrapped up in there but my full answer is a bunch of examples from the show that I would like to call Soft Sanchez moments, where Rick either does something good/says something real and genuine/or his goodness is talked about in some fashion.

Meeseeks and Destroy 

Morty: Look, I want to leave now. You win the bet, okay? (Searches Rick's lab coat for the portal gun) Just give me the portal gun and let's go, please!

(Rick sees the badly beaten Mr. Jelly Bean walk out of the bathroom and pieces together what happened)

Morty: Please, I just want to... go h-home. (Tears up and holds onto Rick)

Rick: Okay. Listen, Morty. I just won a bunch of shmeckels. Why don't we use 25 of them to pay slippery stair here for a ride back to the village, and then we'll give the rest of the shmeckels to the villagers, huh?

Morty: Really?

Rick: Sure, Morty. Yeah. You know, a good adventure needs a good ending.

Rick: Good job, Morty. Looks like you won the bet.

Morty: Thanks, Rick, but I don't know if I should. You know, you were right about the universe. It's a crazy and chaotic place.

Rick: Well, you know, maybe that's why it could use a little cleaning up every now and then, you know. This one's wrapped up neat and clean because we did it Morty style.

(They portal away, but Rick makes another portal back and sticks an energy pistol through it and shoots Mr. Jelly Bean, splattering him all over the screaming villagers)

A Rickle In Time

(Puts his own collar on Morty, who disappears) 

Rick: I'm okay with this. Be good Morty. Be better than me. Holy shit, the other collar! I'm not okay with this! I am not okay with this! Oh, sweet Jesus please let me live. Oh, my God I—I've gotta fix this thing, please God in Heaven, please, God, oh Lord, hear my prayers. Yes! Fuck you God! Not today, bitch.

Mortynight Run

Rick: Screw this. I’m out.

(Rick forms a portal and leaves through it. Morty tries to start the car as a Gromflomite approaches, but it stalls.)

Morty: Oooh…! Come on, come on!

Gromflomite: Get out of the vehicle made of garbage or we will open fire!

Morty: *still trying to start the car* Oh no no no!

Gromflomite: Open fire!

(A portal appears directly above the guards and water pours out of it, flooding the room. Another portal appears on the floor, and the water and Gromflomites are sucked into it. A third portal then appears and Rick emerges through it, walking up to the car.)

Rick: Stupid-ass fart-saving carpet-store motherfucker! *shoves Morty out of the driver’s seat and takes the wheel* Move!

Auto Erotic Assimilation 

Rick: You got that right. But... baby, listen. Y-you're talking about taking over planets and galaxies, you gotta... you gotta just... remember to let go sometimes, you know.

Unity (Administrator): I can let go! Hey, look! You see that town across the river? Watch this.

(Planes fly past and bomb the town, blowing it all up)

Rick: Whoa!

Unity (Administrator): Ha ha! Woot!

Rick: Whoa! That's not what I meant!

Unity (Administrator): [laughing] It's okay! It's okay, I evacuated! I evacuated the town, look!

Unity (Townspeople): Hey! Right here! We’re fine!

Rick: (laughing) Oh, that was awesome! My grandkids weren't in that town, right? A-are my grandkids alive? ... H-hey, my drink is empty

Get Swifty 

Rick: Take it from me, Ice. *burp* You can’t just *burp* float around space not caring about stuff forever.

Morty: Tammy… gross. Birdperson, you always stick up for Rick, but he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He doesn’t think about the consequences of anything he does.

Birdperson: And as a result, he has the power to save or destroy entire worlds. And he is the reason you and I know each other. And the reason I’m alive at all.

Look Who’s Purging Now

Arthrisha: Wait, stop! Please, don't kill me! I-I never intended to harm you, I swear. I am trying to end the festival. W-w-what do you mean? I was going to use your ship to destroy the rich assholes that run our society and save my people from the horrors of this yearly festival.

Rick: I'm not here to judge. I'm just a guy from another planet. But this girl is one of your poor people, and I guess you guys felt like it was okay to subject her to inhuman conditions because there was no chance of it ever hurting you. It's sort of the socio-political equivalent of, say, a suit of power armor around you. But now things are evened out, so, Arthrisha?

Morty: I can't help but feel ashamed about what I did back there, Rick. I guess you were right. I've got a lot of repressed stuff. I need to deal with. 

Rick: Don't worry about it, Morty.Remember those candy bars earlier that we got in the first act? 

Morty: Yeah, what about them? 

Rick: Turns out they have a chemical in them called purgenol that amplifies all your violent tendencies. 

Morty: Oh, boy. Whew! Thank goodness for that, huh? That's a relief. 

Rick: Yep. Don't even sweat. You're still the same old Morty. Your character's totally protected. (camera pans out to reveal the label on the chocolate bars reads “now purgenol-free”)

The Wedding Squanchers

BirdPerson: The guest list at this wedding includes 17 of the federation's most wanted. We have committed numerous atrocities in the name of freedom.

Rick: But... but... Here's the thing. Birdperson is my best friend, and if he loves Tammy, well, then I love Tammy, too. (Cheers and applause) To friendship, to love, and to my greatest adventure yet... opening myself up to others.

The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy

Rick: And you know what? I’ll cop to it. I put a lot of strain on your marriage. It wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.

Jerry: What?!

Rick: I didn’t respect your marriage. I certainly didn’t do it any favors. And for what it’s worth, I’ll apologize to Beth for it when we get home. Whoo! Whirly Dirly! Yeah!

Pickle Rick

I’m trying to let the scripts show all the ways Rick is good before I jumped in but since this is really weird without just watching the episode I’ll just explain that Rick doesn’t kill Jaguar after he finds out he has a daughter and then they work together to escape. 

The Old Man and The Seat

Tony: Can I look at a photo of my wife while you kill me?

Rick: Sure, but I'm doing her a favor. She either has terrible taste, or she's trapped in a marriage to a toilet thief. 

Tony: She's dead. And I don't mind joining her. Life has been hollow since I lost her. Using your toilet was nice, though. I'm a bit of a shy pooper. I'm ready when you are. 

Rick: Stay there. (goes through a portal, comes back with another Tony) Tell him what you told me.

Other Tony: What is this? What's happening? 

Rick: Tell him what you told me. 

Other Tony: My wife's still alive. Sh... sh... she went into remission 10 years ago.

Rick: And what did you do today? 

Other Tony: Oh, I, uh, pooped on a really awesome toilet I found... Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh! (Rick shoves him back through the portal)

Rick”: Don't use your dead wife as an excuse. You ( Bleep ) on my toilet because you don't know your place, and your place is nothing. So next time you stumble onto a toilet that feels too good for your ass, trust me, it is. 

Tony: You're not gonna kill me?

Rick: Don’t tell me what to do!

Tony: You can make a perfectly-realized, toilet-filled simulation of heaven, but you can't share a toilet? 

Rick: Don't insult my craft. The chemical is Globaflyn. It connects the whatever-you-want section of your brain to the whatever-you-have section. If your heaven is toilets, that's on you. 

Tony: All of these people... 

Rick: Are living their wildest, meaningless dreams and leaving me out of them.

Tony: People you refuse to kill and refuse to let into your life.

Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerry

(Rick reveals he has saved what he could of PhoenixPerson)

Okay and on to the big one where I am actually going to talk instead of just letting the script go off Rest and Ricklaxation. We see two sides of Rick, Healthy Rick and Toxic Rick. After Healthy Morty slaps Healthy Rick, and he slaps him back, he discovers the machine doesn’t actually know the difference between what is truly healthy and whats actually toxic, it goes by each person’s individual definition. Shortly after we as the audience learn that Healthy Rick? Is actually apathetic. He doesn’t care about others. All the caring and emotions are wrapped up in Toxic Rick. Everything Healthy Rick did and said is all stuff he believes are good, he apologies, he takes responsibility for his actions, he’s polite, he’s trusting, and he doesn’t try to control others, but he is doing all of this simply because he thinks he should. So it is completely selfless when he makes the bargain so Toxic Rick will merge with him, because, and he even says it, he hates having what he considers his toxins inside of him, but it’s the right thing to do.

Then of course Healthy Rick calls Toxic Rick out, knowing that he is the one with all his, “irrational attachments” as he puts it, and as much as Toxic Rick no longer wishes to be a part of Healthy Rick, he merges with him under the pretence that he will then be able to save Toxic Morty. Both act selflessly for different reasons, Healthy Rick believing it is the right thing to do, while Toxic Rick does it for Morty. 

So do I believe that there is good in Rick?? Heck yes!! Good is stored in the garbage grandpa! 

[nine-mp3]

- a one-shot inspired by OnlyOneOf’s Love going back to black hair recently

- vampire!love / jisung

- reader!witch/warlock

- word count: 1755

- warnings: blood mention, narrator only curses once, other than that it is very pg-13 

Lifting up the hatch to the roof of the cabin, you carefully move your way up to the surface. The cool night air of the forest is inviting; promising for days when you couldn't sleep, too many thoughts in mind. You walked across the ceramic tiles, careful not to slip. In one of your hands was a can of Coca-Cola, a favorite drink of the mortals in the world. And it so happened to be the same for yourself though you were a witch/warlock. As for your other hand, you held a medium-sized juice pouch with dark red liquid contained inside; it was made of primarily cranberry juice and other herbs, a known supplement for blood that only witches or warlocks can make. A very popular consumable in the supernatural market. 

You sat down at the other end of the roof, a few feet away from the trap door, and set down the juice pouch, while opening the coke. As you take a sip, the carbonation hits your nose strongly, making you wrinkle your nose for a moment. A black and tawny cat, Chestnut, leapt up from the trap door. She walks over, joining you, brushing against your arms. Though it seemed like the cat was accompanying you, she in reality was waiting for someone else. But you give the cat what she wants anyways; attention, rubbing her head generously.

It wasn't long till said person came, as they had promised to do so the other day. You barely had enough time to blink when someone appeared besides you without any warning. Most people would be shocked, or perhaps fallen off the roof. And that is speaking from personal experience, from when you first befriended Jisung. 

You eventually got used to it; being friends with a vampire simply just came with these surprise appearances. It’s one of the lesser terrifying things in the world when you think about it, considering the life you live as one kind of supernatural being as well.

Chestnut leaps out of your arms without another thought and into his, purring endlessly into his chest. Jisung laughs, happy to greet an animal who wasn't afraid of him. Hands running through fur, he hugs the cat with the same amount of affection. 

"You made it. And on time," you said, a smile reaching your face upon seeing him. 

"Did you think I wouldn't show up?" Jisung asked, his dark crimson eyes moving away from the cat to look at you. 

He idly played with Chestnut's paws as the cat rested on his lap now; it was quite scary to see a cat be in the hands of a vampire literally, wary of Jisung's long dark nails. But over time, you came to know that he was one of the gentler vampires in the world. And cats knew better than all of us; Chestnut wouldn't approach Jisung if she felt he was dangerous. 

"No. It's not an easy travel route to here, I mean," you said, setting down your can of coke to poke the straw into the juice pouch you had reserved for him.

He scooted over closer and was mindful not to jostle the cat in his lap as he did. Jisung smiled giddly, teeth and fangs showing, as if he was a child receiving sweets, and took the juice pouch from your hands to take a sip. You watched as his image changed once he took a generous glup and swallowed; he ran a hand through his black locks of hair, before leaning back against his arms. The light from the night stars made his pale skin glisten, even more than usual. It's hard not to look at him. 

And here's the confession; you thought Jisung is very beautiful. Vampires just came with good looks. He's not the first vampire you've met in your life either. Safe to say most of them are assholes and only have one goal in mind: to survive. As for him, he is both beautiful inside and outside; the supernatural transformation did not take away his ability to be kind or blurr the meaning of it. You assumed it took a great amount of willpower to do such a thing. Comparing the life of a mortal to a vampire, it was drastically different.

"Worried that I can't handle a couple of forest demons?" Jisung asked then, elbowing me playfully. 

"I guess it's something like that... anyways, do you know what day it is?" you responded.

"March 20th? Or is it one of your witchy / warlocky holidays?"

"...Witchy / warlocky holidays? Name one."

"Halloween."

"Huh? That one applies to all supernatural creatures-"

Jisung snickered, seeming to enjoy the confusion on your face. You knew he was joking then and shoved him to the side as hard as you could with your shoulder. Unfortunately, vampires have insane super strength in this world also; your physical shove did nothing to him. It might've hurt just your own shoulder in the end. The vampire, unmoving, laughs even harder.

"God, you're annoying. I'll send you across the field with a fireball if you don't shut up," you said, folding your arms and rolling your eyes in irritation.

"You like me too much to do that," Jisung responded, his smile turning into a knowing one.

In moments like these, when he was making fun of you, it was easier not to look at him out of spite. Jisung teased you relentlessly, but it was part of the friendship. You did the same back, except this moment was particularly different. The meaning of this day. The vampire notices your demeanor, the seriousness, and stops laughing.

“Aw, come on...I know what day it is, y/n. March 20th, the Spring Solstice. The anniversary of the day we first met," he said now. "I remember and...it's not something I would forget."

You didn't immediately look at Jisung again when he said that. It was because no one had ever said anything like that to you, the level of genuineness you felt from his words; it caught you off guard. Warmth had crept up on your face, paired off with the sudden acceleration of your heart. This wasn't something you can hide from a vampire though, it was more out of embarrassment to not look at him now. Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw Jisung's face become written with surprise.

It was probably also good to note that a witch’s /warlock's blood was particularly toxic to vampires, which was another reason why it wasn't hard to become friends with him in the first place; you didn't have to worry about him thinking of you as a midnight snack. 

There was a good moment of silence as you attempted to muster the courage to find a way to respond to that and of course, explain why in the world you were reacting this way. You were trying to figure out for the longest time about how you truly felt about Jisung; if you were confusing feelings of friendship for...something else. The last thing you wanted to do was to ruin it all. 

This had happened several times and before Jisung could ask any questions, you teleported away from him. And you were about to do that again. He seemed to have anticipated the move and grabbed your hands, a tight grasp, preventing you from casting the spell. This forced you to look at him, though mainly out of your own surprise. There was a concern on his face now instead, and you couldn't miss the dilation of his pupils either; this made you know, whatever you were feeling, Jisung mutually felt the same. You felt stupid for not seeing it sooner; it made sense since you did literally disappear every moment before you could see his reaction every single time. But you were only scared. 

“Sorry,” you blurted out, breaking the heavy silence. “I’ve just been confused and I don’t know what this all means and you’re like my best friend and I don’t want to lose you and you know how complicated it would be for beings like us and-”

Jisung removed one of his hands to cover your mouth, stopping you from talking. 

“Okay. Now when I remove my hand you’re going to breathe. Sound good?”

You nodded, complying with his words. When he takes his hand from over your mouth, you inhale and exhale as directed. Looking back over to Jisung, he has an assuring smile on his face. He held both your hands in his again, his thumbs gently stroking in comfort. You noted that Chestnut the cat had gone from his lap; she must’ve thought you two needed to work something out when sensing tension from you and fled. It was one less thing to worry about. 

“So, all of that...was the reason why you kept running away?” he asked. 

“Yes. It was,” you admitted, the feeling of embarrassment returning. 

Jisung laughed lightly and you saw it now, his own shyness visible. 

“It’s hard to find the words...but I honestly wondered if you’d ever really think of me that way. I know that I have this irresistible beauty-”

You rolled your eyes for the second time today at that statement, almost wanting to retract your hands, yet he again prevented you from leaving until he finished his sentence. 

“- let me finish! But we both know it’s the vampire charm, blah, blah. Anyways, what I’m really trying to say is that I do have the same feelings- I mean at least what I sense your heart is telling me and all your stinky blood rushing around like that in your veins. Since day one, if you really want this to get anymore cliche...a vampire falling for a witch/warlock, vice versa...happens once in a blue moon, doesn’t it?”

Of course, Jisung still manages to joke while making a confession out of awkwardness. Yet you couldn’t be any more happier though. You pulled your hands away from his to wrap your arms around his shoulders for a tight hug, not minding how cold he was. There was no hesitation from Jisung either, his own arms immediately moving to loop around your frame, enjoying the warmth that emitted from your body, tucking his head against yours. The two of you spent a while like that, enjoying each other’s presence, before beginning to talk again about memories, addressing the moments where you both were dodgy; overall, catching up with each other’s feelings as the night continued on.

[baepsrae]

Hi ~ sorry to bother you but I was just wondering what are your feelings about sj? I don't know much about them and I only see people either writing them all off as problematic assholes or blindly defending them. You said recently that they're not all bad but you definitely criticise them, so I was wondering what your take is?

Sungmin: loml! He's so talented and funny and pretty like ok can you please calm down king leave something for everyone else!!! He's also really cute and sweet alshsksjsl. He just seems like a genuinely good person tbh. he's just vibing. The PETTINESS of him and saeun on miss trot... Obsessed with his relationship with saeun, they're so good together. they look so in love, and I love how they are just vibin on tiktok!

Truly an underrated legend. Don't don era... truly an iconic look I loved his hair. People say his fashion sense is awful but honestly who else could pull off a mullet and a visor? just look at these looks:

You call it bad fashion sense, I call it innovation. Also his friendship with sunny was always cute to me.

also I know we HATE any "fun" stage where men dress up as women badly, but sungmin was seriously serving looks. before heechul was Gross Predator Confirmed™ a lot of gay kpop stans said fuck suju only heechul and often talked about heechul serving looks in drag.... my man sungmin served much better looks.

heechul wishes he was as a bad of a bitch! Love this man with my whole bisexual heart. subscribe to liu studio on youtube and stream orgel!!! Also he said one of his goals for 2021 is a second solo so TAKE NOTE AND SUPPORT HIM IF HE DOES!

yesung: racist.

ryeowook: ok but vocals! his version of the high notes in it's you... the way he hit them with absolute ease! chefs KISS!! when I was an elf he was second on my bias list, but now it's zhou mi. soft spot for him though.

siwon: homophobic. his friendship with sungmin... I pretend I do not see it.

kyuhyun: kind of a problematic fave? I mean, I don't really keep up with what he's doing because I don't really listen to their new music and I don't really like his solo stuff but... I honestly have a such soft spot for kyu. I like him. I really do! He makes me laugh! and he's really talented like omg his voice 😍 I have conflicting feelings tho... I know that infamous moment with hara on radio star was scripted and he apologised to her. but. it was horrible to see. And It was the start of the witch hunt against hara and... idk. It just feels weird. I'm not blaming him, that would be absolutely out of pocket and the people who I think are obviously much more accountable are netiziens who bullied and harassed her, her abusive ex and the system that let him walk free. but that fact is netiziens hated her after that moment on radio star. I think he's a good person at heart and it was in a script so there was no malice behind what he said... but I think about it a lot. I don't hold it against him or blame him personally, but I often think about it if I think about him for too long. Hindsight is 20/20. I have conflicted feelings. The reason it took me so long to reply is I really want to convey I don't blame him but also we need to acknowledge and analyse what happened here.

Zhou mi: LOVE him. I really do!! Great vibes from him, he seems like a great guy. Truly an icon. Really deserved better and sm absolutely wasted his talent. Rewind and whats your number were the two best solos from any suju member. I love that he vibes with yoongi.

shindong: literally just a sexist and racist loser. get a hobby.

Donghae: again, I have a soft spot. he's ok. great dancer and pretty attractive. he's on thin ice... not for anything specific I just... hmm asqkshsdjsnalkak

eunhyuk: I don't hate him but he doesn't pass the vibe check. tell iu I said get well soon girl!

Heechul: his relationship with momo is gross, we should have known considering how weird he was about sohee. jessica too. I despise him.

Leeteuk: oh god. well here we go. I don't like this man. first of all, known misogynist telling suzy to loose weight?? like? fix ur face before you speak to her!!! he literally gives me fight or flight. last person who should have ever been the leader of a group. I was wary of him because of how the members talked about how he was mean to kyu when he first joined the group, but the fact that he literally admitted that one time sungmin, shindong and eunhyuk were teasing him and it was all fun until he suddenly got annoyed and grabbed eunhyuk by the throat... and not even because eunhyuk specifically pissed him off but because he's the least likely to defend himself and because he knows shindong is bigger than him and sungmin wouldn't fucking hesitate bitch... imagine admitting to that! and then he said eunhyuk was so upset he didn't show up tp work later. I don't blame him! that's scumbag behaviour! that just made me very uncomfortable. Also he was blatantly cold towards and excluded sungmin since his engagement was announced, it was fucking weird. I wasn't surprised at all to find out he was messaging girls who are new to the industry and 13 years younger than him, and apparently he was messaging other younger women as well saying shit like "you should know who I am". I'm not saying he's abusive, idk him like that so that would be a big accusation and out of pocket. but from what I can see there's a pattern of targeting people who are like... more vulnerable than him? and I don't like it.

Past members:

kibum: go girl! give us nothing! interested to see what he brings to masked singer because he like... never sang in suju. glad he's doing stuff and free from sm.

Henry: the violin solo in don't don is iconic! He's racist tho and I don't like him.

hangeng: his solo music is so good. clown mask fucking slaps!!! I'm happy he's happy and I also am relieved that, like sungmin, he's fucking normal and married to a woman the same age as him. Really like him, he passes the vibe check.

Kangin: a terrorist. I despise him. he's not a person he is a list of crimes committed. only think about him when I'm thinking about suju on intimate note talking about how he did NOT pass sungmins vibe check. he's a misogynist and idc about him.

[yuurivoice]

(1/2, maybe /3, I dunno) I've been wanting to get this off my chest for a while, comment this with you, senpai, I really hope you don't get me wrong. Don't you think your portrayal of Guzma is a little... OOC? Like, "[about Guzma] actually be caring for their crew and special someone???? And are also DUMB?" I can see Guzma being in his best behavior around his s/o but he is heavily implied to use his anger issues and bad temper as a form of manipulation towards the Skull Grunts, Senpai :-/

“(2/2, maybe /3) The Grunts do admire him, yes, but some are very scared of him and aren't afraid to comment that with the player. Reminder that he also jumped into a wormhole with Lusamine without a second thought and left Team Skull behind without the least bit of consideration for them. I mean, think about it: if Guzma was truly a kind man and had nothing about his behavior to change (which he totally does), then his entire character arc would be pointless, don’t you agree?

(3/3) Also, Guzma ISN’T dumb??? The anime AND the games have clearly shown that our boy has brains and is quite intelligent! He's a great battler, a great strategist and is implied to have an interest in geography (from the world globe in his bedroom in Po Town). He understood that the experiment with Nihilego was a success the moment he sees it and I’m sure he didn’t become the Boss for nothing.“

Alright Anon, you very clearly feel strong about this and have presented your thoughts in a non-confrontational way and I get the vibe you genuinely just want to pick my brain so I’ll bite.

First off, pure canonical representation is far from what I ever set out to do with any character. I like presenting my interpretation and take on a character, which definitely does take influence from canon but honestly??? Some of my favorite things about fandom is when the fans take a character and run with their take on them. Is it always totally accurate, no. Is it sometimes more exciting and interesting than what a strictly canonical take would look like? I think so!

So, that’s something to make clear early on. Also, when I say “dumb” I do not mean lacking in intelligence or stupid. I mean...silly? I think rather than going super dark and making Guzma a toxic asshole who uses his followers and abuses his power or doesn’t care about Team Skull would bore me.

You can consider it an AU, consider it a bad interpretation, consider it anything.

I consider it a shitfuckton of fun and I think, just maybe, a lot of other people think it’s fun too! Because telling stories with fictional faves is fun! And sometimes you can explore different ideas with those characters, or give them a different coat of paint that the canon didn’t give them.

I wish I had something more tangible to say outside of “...alright?” but man idk what to tell you aside from I hear you, and you raise good points, but what does it actually matter unless I was somehow trying to stake a claim and say that “my Guzma” was somehow more correct than canon representations. 

It’s also a little curious that you’d bring this to me specifically when a very significant portion of the fandom enjoys the sweeter, sillier interpretation of Guzma and Team Skull. I’m not the only person producing that content, and honestly from what I’ve seen it’s almost overwhelmingly more of a softer, comedic approach with him. Because it’s fun. And ultimately, doing stuff for fun is what I’m all about. Big bonus points that people also enjoy my interpretation of him.

Another thought: I enjoy the softened/silly portrayal of Guzma in a sense that maybe it’s more of an act because he feels a softer demeanor will help him make things right with those who once feared him. 

I think there’s a certain amount of suspension of disbelief you have to accept when consuming any kind of fan content, and showing up with a list of things and going “WELL, ACTUALLY” is an exercise in missing the point.

And that goes for all sorts of characters in all sorts of fandoms. People love the “oh he’s a bad guy but WHAT IF HE WAS ACTUALLY BABY” and I love it too...because it’s fiction, and it’s a great deal of fun!

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Hello! there The reading rembrance anon Is here and currently in chapter 17 I don't actually remember un What chapter everything happened so My comments This Time are un disorder

- Diego being a Luca x Merula shipper Is actually cracking me up, I know It's probably very awkward for Luca but I really laughed at that.

- Jacob as MC's Boggart Is a really cool concept and really i Would liked to see it in The canon because It's just make So much sense. Like yeah, MC Loves Jacob They make their whole purpose to find him and that could be drived by positive feelings about finding your Family and all, but I doubt They don't have any negative Emotions cause Of The long search for their brother, when You base your entire existence to do something, in This to find Someone, You actually Would be overwhelmed and that Thing You love could turn in what holds you back most from growing as a Individual person. And in This set Of The game, de don't ANYTHING about Jacob and there are rumors already “Jacob Is Crazy” “Jacob Is a Death eater” sure, MC wouldn't Think Any Of that Is true but how They Never considered that maybe Jacob Isn't The person They Thought he Is? It's a really interesting topic.

- Animagus Merula Isn't a idea that I Thought Before, but actually also It's cool, She's known for sneaking so She totally could want transform in a Animagus to spy People, It's a very Snyde thing to do (no pun intended) I love The fact her Animagus Is a cat because Is a very ambiguos animal in terms Of simbology. Some culture sees Them as sacred Animals and objects Of adoration (What Merula Think She Is) and Others relate Them to Missfortune, Ghosts, etc. So having The intentions Of Merula are difficult to decipher, The cat form really fits her

- I Just can think In how offended Luca feeled when Bitten go with Merula and Mitten also lreally Likes her I just could think Of The Voice Of Catra saying “Ah! No! Betrayal!”

- Surprisingly, I didn't really think that Rowan coul be related to R, It was really suspicious how They point The Finger to Ben, but I Was “Nah, It Would be too easy”

- Luca and Tulip are actually really cute together, It's really a shame that all The content They Would had in The game Is just The First date and The Celestial Ball, Like The MC x Tulip has a really Good potential, How could JamCity no see it?

- I don't If seeing The delusion luca has with The Weird sister It's Hilarious or actually really sad, but go for It, Luca! burn All related to Them!

- The HC of Luca giving Penny The clothes Aurelié gave Them... I just Can't explain, really touched my Heart, Luca Is just too Good for This World and I Need to Protect them so bad

That's All I coul really think Of, I'm really liking it so far!

Not me absolutely suffocating myself in warm fuzzies (probably puffskeins, come to think of it) as I struggle to cope with how wonderful your commentary is. Nope, couldn’t be me, there’s no way. 

I’m so glad you can see what I see in the potential of Jacob being MC’s Boggart and I honestly have no idea why the game didn’t go this route. It’s the only thing that makes perfect sense. Voldemort? Literally, doesn’t make a lick of sense. MC is living in the “lost generation” between the two wars. Their life is unaffected by Voldemort and they even reassure Talbott that he’ll never return. So what gives? Is it just fanservice? (He really shouldn’t have the snake-like look, by the way...that only happened because of his revival potion at the end of GOF.) At the time, I thought maybe they wanted to keep Jacob unseen, keep him shrouded in mystery...but they didn’t have a problem revealing his face two years later! The crazy thing is, they even suggest that Jacob could be a reason of origin for MC’s fears. They can cite the “Death Eater” rumor as being the explanation for their Boggart, which would mean that it’s not really Voldemort MC is afraid of any more than it’s Merula that Tulip is truly afraid of.

Merula’s symbolic animal (Her Patronus, Animagus form, etc.) is also something that I feel quite strongly about and I’m glad to see I’m not alone in considering the idea! Seriously, I’ve grown up with feline companions for as long as I can remember and trust me, Merula is such a cat. She’s much more of a cat than even Luca is. In so many ways, it’s absolutely perfect. On a Meta level, my being a Merula defender is appropriate because there’s not much I dislike more than those odd, unfounded stereotypes that cats are assholes. I mean, they can be, and Merula often is...but cats are also extremely loving and I believe Merula has the potential to be as well. Love is, as we know, the most powerful force in this universe, and she is of course the most powerful witch at Hogwarts. 

Aha! Another She-Ra fan. Catra and Merula have a lot in common in many ways, and the whole Catradora romance feels quite familiar. Though most people compare it to MC/Merula, it definitely reminds me more of Tulip/Merula, but that’s just a personal touch. But never mind the ships of the past, the ships of the present appear to be gearing up for smooth sailing, perhaps? I shall say nothing except thank you profusely and sob at your feet for what you said about Luca and Tulip being cute. Seriously, MC’s bond with Tulip during Year 3 is so powerful. I just think seeing another person’s Boggart and learning the history behind it is...kind of a big deal? It’s a unique brand of emotional intimacy. 

Ah, the “Rowan is R” theory. I truly believed it for a while. Again, not getting into spoilers, (Keep in mind, this was written before Y6CH18 hit us all over the head) but Luca’s journey with suspecting Rowan reflects my own in many ways. I had that heart-stopping moment at the end of Year 3 of realizing that there was a prominent character who was a clear suspect for being R and yet no one in-game acknowledged it. We could suspect Rita, Rosmerta, Flitwick for some reason...but not Rowan. At least with Rakepick, the characters considered the possibility that it was her.  Seriously, it isn’t until mid-Year 5 that someone points out Rowan’s first initial. Between Rowan’s suspicion of Ben, and the game avoiding the very blatant elephant in the room...I got more and more anxious that Rowan might be the answer. I adore Rowan, to be clear. I never wanted this to be true, and I’m glad that it isn’t. 

Bitten hates Luca as much as Luca hates The Weird Sisters. And in both cases, it’s quite irrational. Once again, Luca’s feelings are mirroring my own. I...cannot stand The Weird Sisters. In the GOF film they’re cringe, but in HPHM, they actually creep me out and irritate me. Luca straight up tells them that they’re not comfortable with these complete strangers writing songs about them, and the dude just goes “Don’t think of it like that.” Like sir no, you need to stop now, I am a minor. Cut the crap. But enough about that, thank you for the kind words about the scene with Penny! (I mean, thank you in general, but y’know) it’s funny because that scene apparently launched a bit of a small fanclub for the Luca x Penny ship - which I don’t think it’s a spoiler to tell you, ain’t gonna happen in the fic. 

[sukkadeservedbetter]

It’s Different.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: After a dramatic and traumatizing experience at a gas station, things with Tom hit different.

Warnings: Mugging/Robbery

Word Count: 2.6 of fluff

You’ve always been oddly comforted by the smell of gasoline. Anything that smelled like a car garage had always left you with a sense of euphoria: new tires, exhaust pipes, and metals. It wasn't something you could really explain, but as the faint smell of gasoline entered your nose after a horribly long day at work, you welcomed it.

Your mother always told you not to let your mileage gauge get below 50 miles, but you never listened to her. Tonight you got to the gas station with 10 miles left. Tempting the fates was becoming a little hobby of yours—at least when it came to getting gas. Mainly because you hated pumping gas. It wasn't hard, or even a lot of work, but you always realized you needed gas at the worst possible times. Like tonight, for example. You didn't have anywhere to be, but you were tired. You debated whether you wanted to prolong getting into your comfy clothes tonight or wake up earlier tomorrow in order to fill your stupid car with gas. In the end, prolonging rest now seemed a whole lot better than waking up any earlier than you needed to tomorrow.

You begrudgingly dragged your exhausted body out of your car. It wasn't all that late, but the sun had gone down behind the hills and a faint wind nipped at your neck and cheeks. Summer was officially over, but the remanence of long, warm nights hung in the faint pink glow of the horizon. You scrolled through your phone mindlessly as your car's tank filled agonizingly slowly. You heard your mother's voice telling you that you should always wait in your car while pumping gas at night, just in case. You shook off her words. You lived in the sleepiest part of L.A. where nothing even remotely interesting happened. It was all families and Instagram models here—not crackheads and gangs.

The gas pump clicked, letting you know you were finally done with this heinous chore. You placed the pump back in its holster and finished up paying on the pin pad. As you pivoted on your left foot to turn around and hop into your car, you felt cool metal press against the back of your skull. Your throat closed immediately. The pounding in your chest became overwhelmingly loud. Your ears rang and everything began to slow. Whoever was behind you spoke, but you couldn't hear anything.

They teach you about the "fight or flight response," but they never tell you about the third reaction in response to fear: freeze. You wanted to scream, or run, or kick, but you couldn't do anything. Your lip began to quiver as you cursed yourself for never listening to your mom's advice. The person behind you grabbed onto your arm so hard you yelped.

"Shut the fuck up!" The voice yelled. It was deep and gravely. "I said, give me your money and I won't have to use this." You heard the sound of his gun cocking and you let out a silent wail.

"I don't have anything," you plea, putting your hands up to show you were literally empty-handed.

"Do you think I'm a fucking idiot? Where is your purse? In the car? Walk." The man shoved you towards your car. Your mind raced with possibilities of how to get out of the situation. You quickly realized that you were either going to have to give him your money or he would shoot you and there was no in-between. For a moment you let yourself hope that someone would save you in a damsel-in-distress moment, but you knew that real life wasn't a fairytale, and knights in shining armor were far and in between in L.A.

The man turned you around and shoved you against your car door causing you to wince. When you saw his face you let out a sob. He was wearing a Spider-Man mask. Your mind went straight to Tom. You and Tom had been friends for years. You knew he was kind and good, but you couldn't help but associate him with the mask and that made this situation so much worse.

"Now, give me your money so I don't have to blow your fucking head off," The man sneered. You gulped as you turned around to open your car door. The man placed a harsh hand on your hip as you bent over to reach for your purse. Your throat closed up again thinking about what he might do after you give him the money. You grabbed both your debit and credit card out of your wallet. In a stroke of dumb luck, you remembered something from a John Mulaney special you had watched with Tom a while back.

"Here. Fetch!" You yelled as you turned around and chucked your cards as far away from yourself and the car as you could. The man shoved you into your car, causing you to hit your head, as he ran towards your cards which were now scattered about 20 yards away. You slammed your door shut and drove away quickly, hoping he wouldn't shoot towards your speeding car. You felt numb. Your body shook as you drove. You wanted to go home and sob, but you knew you had to go to the police station first.

The police station took forever. You sat in a boring room that was too bright and too cold as you listened to a policewoman talk you through the process of filing a report. You weren't fully there and if she had asked you to repeat what she was saying you wouldn't have been able to. After what seemed like forever, the police let you go. You got in your car and stared forward mindlessly. Where were you supposed to go? Home was the obvious answer, but you didn't want to go back to your dark and lonely apartment after what had happened. Every time you blinked you saw Spider-Man holding a gun towards you.

You realized that you wanted to see Tom. Tom always knew how to make you feel better and after being terrorized by someone who looked like Spider-Man, Tom's happy-go-lucky attitude and soft British voice was something you craved. You checked the time to find that it was nearing 11:30. Tom might not even be home, but you didn't care. You considered calling him first, just to see if he was home, or wanted to see you, but you were already outside of his apartment before you could truly comprehend that you were heading to him.

You stood with shaking hands outside of his building. As you pressed the call button for his apartment, you became instantly anxious. What if Tom didn't want to see you? What if he had someone over? What if—

"Hello?" Tom's voice rang from the speaker. You let out a shaky sigh of relief. At least he was home. "Hello?" Tom asked again.

"Oh, uh. Hi, Tom..."

"(Y/N)? What're you doing here?" He didn't sound upset, just confused.

"I, uh... can I come up?"

"Yeah, of course!" The door buzzed and clicked open. You pushed the ornate gold handle and began bounding up the stairs. You should've taken the elevator in your state, but you didn't want to wait. Your heart was pounding as you climbed to the ninth floor. By the time you got to Tom's apartment, you were out of breath. You took a moment to compose yourself before you knocked. Tom opened the door with a sideways smile. Upon seeing his face you immediately crumpled into his arms and started sobbing. You hadn't processed what had happened yet, but seeing Tom all soft and warm in his hoodie and sweats made you feel safe.

Tom grabbed you just before you hit the floor and wrapped you into a tight hug. You knew he was probably scared and confused, but you couldn't stop crying long enough to explain yourself. You were ugly crying. There were snot and tears coming out of and your jagged breaths made you feel as though you could vomit. Tom didn't say anything he just rubbed your back and pulled you onto his couch.

"I'm-- I'm so... so sorry," You choked out.

"Shhh, it's okay," Tom comforted. "It's alright, Darlin'." Even upset that pet name made your heart swell. "What's going on?" Tom asked. You took a few seconds to gain some composure. You sat up and wiped the tears from your face as best you could. After a few seconds of uneven breathing, you began to tell Tom what happened. His brows furrowed and his grip on your thigh tightened as you told him how this stranger attacked you.

"I didn't mean to bother you so late I just... I didn't know where to go," you said as you concluded your story.

“No, it’s okay! I’m glad you can here. You’re always welcome here. You know that.” Tom pulled you in for another tight hug. You breathed in his cologne. The familiar scent sent your brain back to last spring when the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Tom wasn’t just a friend—or he was, but with benefits. Two years ago after a bad break up and a lot of tequila the two of you first hooked up. After that, it became custom for the two of you to get together whenever you were both single and in the same place. It wasn’t constant and both you had been in and out of relationships since you first hooked up, but when it happened it happened—no questions asked. A part of you often longed for something more, but at the end of the day, you were just happy to have someone like Tom in your life.

You looked up at Tom through glassy eyes. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Tom had always been good at reading you even if you swore you had a great poker face. Tom placed two fingers under your chin and tilted your head so that your lips met his. It was a soft kiss, nothing particularly special, but behind it was all the care in the world and it was mutual. You break apart after only a few seconds.

"I hope that makes up for that asshole using my likeness to mug you." You let out a shaky laugh.

"It did. Thank you."

"I cannot believe the wisdom of John Mulaney came to you in your moment of crisis," Tom laughed.

"Actually, I think it was Detective J.J. Bittenbinder's wisdom," you teased. As you moved to sit completely upright you winced.

"You okay?" Tom asked, suddenly worried.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good. That guy just rattled me around a bit. I'll be fine." You were lying. You would be fine, but your hip and back and arm hurt like hell and you didn't want Tom to worry.

"Okay..." Tom said, obviously still unsure. "Do you want to shower? It'll help you relax."

"Yeah, that would be really nice." Tom helped you up from the couch. You followed him to his bathroom with his hand interlaced in yours. You forgot how attractive an attentive/over-protective Tom was.

"You can get in. I'll go grab you a towel," Tom said. You didn't really respond so much as nod, but you knew he knew that you meant, "sure, thank you." You quickly stripped yourself of your clothing and stepped into the steaming water. You winced and cowered away from the water as it hit your forming bruises. You looked down at the marks on your arm and hip which were already red and swollen. The faint outline of fingers traced over your hip. Looking down at the marks, you wanted to cry again, but you knew that there was no point.

You heard the bathroom door open again and could just see Tom's figure from behind the fogged-up glass door. You closed your eyes and let the water pour over your face. When you opened your eyes again Tom's figure was closer to the door, but this time it was devoid of clothing. The door opened and Tom stepped in silently. You turned around to face him.

"Hi," You whispered.

"Hi. This okay?" Tom asked. You nodded, but you suddenly felt the need to cover yourself. You couldn't figure out why you felt so exposed. Tom had seen you naked plenty of times, but this felt different. This was so much more intimate. Normally when you were naked in front of Tom alcohol was involved and during the times it wasn't your exposed body was veiled by the haze of lust and need. Now there was nothing to conceal your skin or your bruises.

Tom's eyes immediately went towards the mark on your arm. He lifted it up to see the bruise better and felt like you could see his heartbreaking as his face crumpled at the sight. "Baby..." he whined, pulling you in for another hug. Your breath caught in your chest at the pet name. Tom never called you 'baby' except for during sex. You (along with most other girls) were always 'love' or 'darling", but this time he called you baby. It felt different.

Your wet body pressed against his. You had never showered with Tom. It was nice. It wasn't sexual like you assumed it would be. In fact, for once, Tom wasn't trying to make an intimate situation sexual at all. Tom pressed a wet kiss to your forehead. "I'm so sorry," he said against your hair.

"It's fine," you mumbled back. Tom turned you around so that your back was now against his chest. You felt his fingertips skim over what you assumed to be various bruises on your back. Without warning, Tom brought his lips down to your shoulders and peppered open kisses across them. He brought his arms around your waist and you bit back a huge grin. Either subconsciously or out of habit leaned your neck to the side to give Tom better access to your neck. Rather than giving you a hickey like you expected him to, he pressed a soft kiss to the exposed skin and turned your head back to meet his lips.

This kiss was different than the kiss you shared on the couch. This kiss was slow and deliberate. Tom slipped in just enough tongue to give you the chills. You could've stayed in that moment forever, but you knew all too well that all good things must come to an end. After what seemed like hours you and Tom stepped out of the shower into the foggy bathroom. Tom wrapped a towel around you, kissing your forehead again in the process. You internally groaned at the thought of putting your jeans back on and going home. Like always, Tom was one step ahead of you.

"Do you want to stay?" Tom asked, but it wasn't like he normally asked you. Something in his voice was different. "I could stay on the couch if you want the bed to yourself, or you could have the couch. I just..." He was nervous.

"You don't need to sleep on the couch," You said, calming Tom's nerves. "You just have to let me borrow a t-shirt."

"Deal." Tom handed you one of his shirts. You slipped your panties back on and let Tom's shirt engulf your figure. It smelled like him. By the time you were finished drying your hair, Tom was already in bed. He was awake, but barely. You slipped into bed next to him and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks, Tommy."

"Of course, (Y/N)." You had ended your nights so many times in the same way in Tom's bed, but when he wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your shoulder, something felt different.

——

A/N: This is loosely based on an experience I had a few months back and while getting gas I got inspired! Lemme know what you think :)