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mastermindmp3 · 4 months

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Guilty as Sin? addresses the idea of emotional cheating, about longing for someone outside their current relationship. The speaker describes being in bored in her relationship, and fantasizing about a guy that she is texting* while her lover likely does the same**.

*In my romantic pirate heart, they're pen pals paramours as opposed to texting troublemakers. He "sent" her Downtown Lights, which could easily be read as being sent a streaming link, but I want to believe he sent her a burned tape. **As I've previously said, The Tortured Poets Department is an album in conversation with itself. The mutual emotional infidelity is only really implied by the speaker's questioning her right to be upset within Guilty as Sin? but is made clearer in other places throughout the album. Whether you allow other songs to affect your reading of the song is wholly up to you..

Diversion aside, I think the song touches on this theme very well, and I trust my fellow Department members will provide insights on the song's preferred reading in today's meeting.

In the reception theory of reader responses, a preferred reading is the audience understanding and agreeing with the author's (or producer, or lyricist, etc. ) intended vision for their media. Reception theory also says that readers can take oppositional and negotiated readings. Oppositional readings reject the author's stance entirely, while a negotiated reading may agree in part or whole, but still have their own "take" on the media.

Guilty as Sin? is intended to be about emotional infidelity. For the past few days, I have been analyzing the songs through their preferred reading. Today, I would like to destroy all of that, and present to you my Oppositional Reading of Guilty as Sin?

I know, very well, that the reading I am about to present is not Swift's intent, and indeed, I may be a koi swimming against the river's current. This post is not meant to be me saying that the song is my reading. I am within opposition to the text.

(I guess that technically makes this a negotiated reading? semantics—)

I am about to commit the cardinal sin of reading queer themes into a straight author's work. Crucify me if you please, but do so with the context that I acknowledged that this reading is not "canonical," to continue being biblical about it.

To reiterate, because this is the "how dare you say we piss on the poor" website. I do not believe that my reading is the intended reading of Guilty as Sin?

So:

When reading queer themes into straight work, I feel it is impossible to not draw from personal experience. This post is about Guilty as Sin? but it is also about me. It is about what growing up queer in the rural American southeast is like. It's hard to detangle those things.

I present to the department: A case for Guilty as Sin? as a song of queer longing. Half analysis, half personal essay.

On the surface, I feel this reading can be very simple. When the whole refrain is how can I be guilty as sin? and hegemonic Christian society deems queer love, queer living as sinful, the connection doesn't feel like that hard of a jump. The song travels through its religious theming, through the shame, through hushing yourself with the idea that thoughts don't count. The speaker works through those pains and repressions, so that she can come to the revelation:

What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

What initially got me thinking about this song in a gay way was one of the opening lyrics. ( Well, no, what initially got me thinking this was listening to it as I was writing fiction, but hush. )

This cage was once just fine.

As a bisexual woman, there was once a time where I really, truly, thought to myself that I would never come out. It was fine, to be honest. I still like men, so I just had to pray that my one big love was a man. That way, I could protect myself from my family’s imagined negative reactions. I don't think this is a unique experience, either. Particularly in the south, we hold ourselves in for the comfort of others, and our own safety.

I cannot speak for everyone, but I feel like that fear of rejection is common amongst the people I know. It leads to caging our feelings; locking bits of ourselves away from those who once knew us so closely, in order to preserve their original vision of us. As perfect, straight sons and daughters, as kids who would grow into the molds set forth. And for a while, we can hold together like this, the cage is fine.

But parrots pluck their feathers when kept under lock and key, and so too do we.

I dream of cracking locks, throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks.

Doesn't it feel like that? The first time you consider telling a parent, or any loved one, that you're not what they imagined. Like you could be dashing your chances at life. The image brings to mind that of suicide, of a “I can no longer live like this.” People thrown to the rocks do not survive impact, and often are disfigured, beyond recognition. It's such a visceral image for a song filled with longing.

This song is textually about emotional infidelity, obviously, but I think it can also be about the longing we hold for the "unallowed." How we can both feel such beautiful love and hideous shame about the same thoughts. Repression is a funny thing, to smother the want can only make it come back harder, stronger.

What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyways.

I said that the Christian imagery is part of what made me think of the song as queer, and I stand by it. A lot of queer art deals with the trauma of religion; the idea of being guilty for the way you simply are, for the way you feel, naturally, drives one to consider the opposite. What if our way of being is holy. I'm particularly brought to mind Fipsi Seilern’s Portrait of Virgin Xtravaganzah (and the portraiture's subject - Virgin X - by extension.)

The connection is not hard to make; masturbation, the song’s main premise, is seen as sinful, as is infidelity. And so, too, is being gay. They are shamed the same way in conservative Christian society, as if they are of the same level.

In a way, it's very Christian of me to take a religiously charged song about emotional infidelity and make it about same gender attraction. On the level of infractions to the Christian hegemony, same gender attraction may be worse, truly, than infidelity. That to touch another man or another woman is worse of a crime, than to betray the trust of your opposite gendered partner.

Y'know, as a kid, I used to get nosebleeds every time I entered my family's church. It was high in the mountains of Tennessee, and I was prone to them anyways. It was my first experience with the hemming and hawing of Christian southern women, tsk'ing at me. I think we stopped going when I was like, ten, partially because of it.

And I look back now, and think about all these things I have learned since then. The pain that Christian dogmatism, that bigotry has caused, to me and the communities I love so dearly. Still causes, in the name of saving our souls, or more likely, extermination.

And think about bleeding every time I crossed the threshold into holy ground.

Does that make us all guilty as sin?

Nah. Any guilt we feel is only a consequence of the spoon fed hatred, and certainly no fault of our own.

( It is interesting, that this reading absolves the narrator of the song, where the original text is more ambiguous as to the level of infraction that the Speaker has committed. The answer to "How can I be guilty as sin?" here is more clear, especially to this specific audience. Swift's modern demographics trend towards young, leftist, and AFAB. Additionally, there's probably a whole essay in that idea itself, how queer people are treated with the same ostracism as adulterers. Going further, why are these "sins," a state of being and a social infraction, grouped with far greater transgressions in the Christian consciousness. Were I not a Biology student, that idea alone would be an excellent thesis topic. )

A defense of the idea of Queering Straight Songs:

When my family drove up the mountain to church, I listened to my Fearless disc on a pink Sony brand CD player in the back seat. How often are our first imaginings of queer love to straight media? Through characters or through idealized versions of us or through the music we're allowed, we find ways to feel queer love like sidewalk dandelions. Some call them weeds, but we all know they're flowers, beautiful and beloved, capable of coming back year after year.

We live in an age where queer stories and queer art are so visible, where we can look at Queering the Map and see all the places we are. And will continue to be. And have always been.

I think, in a way, claiming this song about straight infidelity as queer longing is almost a full circle moment, for me. In a time where queer liberties are at risk, we are still so loud and visible. It's nice, in a way, that I don't have to do this.

There are so many wonderful songs about this same longing, about locking your feelings up and bottling them away, by queer artists, even in this same genre. I don't have to stretch to see myself in these songs. They're radio play, they're opening Coachella.

( Also, protect small queer art. Protect bad queer art, too, while we're at it. We are so lucky that so much of queer lives are available at our fingertips, but without archival and protection, it can also be lost. )

I wouldn't say queer people are braver than we've ever been - that's a disservice to the people before us. We have ages of proof that this music, this art, has existed, and repressing it cannot stop it. We aren't any braver than our ancestors, just more widely seen, and more widely heard. Queer music, thanks to the internet, and thanks to wide, social pressure, is louder than ever.

But that doesn't mean we still can't queer the straight music we love too. This entire post (essay, can I call it an essay?) is about reception theory and seeing yourself in the other's work. It's a time honored tradition to make a song about yourself, to make it gay - I played Lover on violin at a lesbian couple's wedding, and my uncles danced at their wedding to Endless Love by Diana Ross.

I leave you with a final story, based on my favorite lyric.

What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh, only in my mind?

This line, in particular, made me feel many things, a rush of nostalgia and warmth. I've claimed many celebrities to be my bi awakening, but the first time I remember being attracted to a girl was at the Speak Now tour. She was a bit older than me, maybe 14, and sat across the aisle. Mid-show, she helped me write my favorite lyrics on my arm in the pitch black of Bridgestone Arena. I had seen the lyrics on Taylor's arm and got so excited about the idea, but my mother didn't have a sharpie. She did. In sort of loopy handwriting, she put, "You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter" down my right arm.

With purple glitter glinting off tanned, grinning cheeks, with her Speak Now glowstick hovering over my arm, I don't remember her name, or even if I asked for it. But she was so kind, crinkling eyes black as obsidian, twinkling the stage lights in their reflection, and made me realize exactly why that lyric resonated with me so deeply. How it was what I wanted to be in the future.

And I could see my future with her, or him, or them. And it is impossible to untangle Swift's music from that.

It's all empathy, all the way down. The kind of empathy that, I am not sorry to be corny and say it, Taylor Swift's music begs you to have. To take these songs that are very much written from her perspective, and see our own experiences mirrored through them, that's what her music asks. To see that we are not all that different, and to connect. How rare and mundane human connection, how we rip out our souls to achieve it. Swift's talked about it extensively, the catharsis of spilling ink, putting pen to paper and voice to recording all in effort to be seen.

I think that's the big motif: I feel seen by Guilty as Sin?, I felt seen back then listening to these CDs. That's the sorcery of storytelling. As an adult, who is so comfortable in her bisexuality that I flaunt it, I still like to do these oppositional readings, to see myself in songs not made about me.

And that's why Guilty as Sin? is, to me, a queer longing kind of song. Even if it isn't.

#taylor swift #ttpdminutes #Guilty As Sin?#this one got away from me #anyways this one goes out to my repressed queers it gets better. i promise you it gets so much better.#religion tw #tw christianity #brief mention of suicide #mentions of homophobia #man i realize this aint even ABT the song anymore.#but it would be too on the nose with the theme of this essay if i DIDN'T say these thoughts #queer every song you love. its good for you i promise.#long post

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iwouldservehim · 14 days

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finally read 1984, and all this time I've heard several times from Tumblr about how "that nasty man imagines raping that woman" and it turns out that not only is this in a book that presents the dystopian world in which you can be charged for "thought crime" but dude literally follows it up with "ah, yes, I can realize these dark thoughts are the mere manifestation of my own sexual frustration and general repression" and the takeaway for some of you is that you're supposed to hold the guy accountable for thought crime, truly the how dare you say we piss on the poor website

#orwell 1984 #george orwell #classic literature

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thedreadvampy · 1 year

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if there's one thing I've learnt from the fucking 86k male gaze/death of the author post it's uhhhhhh this truly is the how dare you say we piss on the poor website

also unrelatedly here's a non-exhaustive list of things that are, apparently, ideal examples of media that is ~free from the male gaze~ (nothing is free from the male gaze that's the point it's baked into our entire visual language):

Sucker Punch

Bayonetta

Batman 2022

Yuri anime in general

#red said #you're all broken darlings please use your brains and eyes

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spooky-lord · 2 years

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You really are some disgusting perverted creep aren't you, wanting to know whether a person is a minor or not.

Or are you legit an enabling brainrotten ignorant shit without any critical thinking skills that loves creating an online heaven for predators going after minors.

You feeling shit about a minor experiencing normal sexual exploration is weird AF, literally just ignore them

this website is free

i felt like shit bc im not a creep who wants minors interacting with me in a sexual way you fucking dumbass. im a fucking adult and the idea of any kind of sexual shit with minors skeeves me the hell out because im not a fucking pedo, but way to twist my personal discomfort with not knowing whether someone's a minor (not even their specific age! just whether they're a minor or not) to say im a pedo freak. truly the website of normal people. real "how dare you say we piss on the poor" energy

especially since, ykno, this was on the tags of a reblog so you had to be looking for someone to be mad at

#spookypost generator #ask #anon #anonymous #debated not answering this but i need it to be known that this shit is important to me

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saiilorstars · 4 years

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Dare To Forget Me

Ch. 13: Playing with Fire

/ Story Masterlist /

Fandom: Law & Order SVU

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Original female character

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ` 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter Summary: Montserrat does her best to help Rafael as Muñoz's case comes to an end, even when the ADA is snarkier than usual.

Montserrat sat on her therapist's couch, relaying with ease what was currently going on with her. It felt nice having a place to freely talk without fear of being snapped at. It was just easy, which showed a lot of progress she made since she first arrived. Dr. Weslin had that recorded every time Montserrat showed up too. Even now, while Montserrat debated by herself whether or not to take it easy on her brother, she showed significant to in the free space offered to talk in.

"I mean, Gael is just being overly dramatic. He's ignoring me and what's worse - or childish one could say - is that he's separating his girls from me too," Montserrat sighed, pausing to think about her older brother. "Sometimes I just want to smack him like when we were kids. We used to actually throw punches at each other, can you believe that? Dad had to come in and separate us. He'd yell at us for thirty minutes without break."

"It seems like your father has always been your mediator then," Weslin noted. "Does he have anything to say about this argument between you and your brother?"

"He doesn't know and honestly he shouldn't have to deal with this. I'm almost 30 and Gael is reaching his forties, we're grown adults acting ridiculous."

"Have you told this to Gael?"

"Please, he's not speaking to me. I have a very a good talent at irritating people, whether I want to in that moment or not. Maybe that's how I always get myself into problems." Montserrat said with a heavy resignation that Dr. Weslin gave her a strange look.

"We're not talking about your argument with your brother anymore, are we?"

Montserrat shrugged her shoulders in an attempt to be casual. "I guess not."

"Would you care to elaborate, then?"

"There's not much too it, really," Montserrat shrugged yet again.

Weslin had come to notice Montserrat only did this as an overly attempt at being casual when she neared the topic of her rape. It was like Montserrat tried pushing it all behind her to form a past.

"Maybe if I hadn't been so irritating at work, people would have given more of a damn about what happened to me," Montserrat finally spat out. "Maybe they wouldn't have been so quick to brush it away and transfer me."

"Montserrat, you're not blaming yourself for this right?" Dr. Weslin feared Montserrat had somehow regressed in her recovery.

"No," Montserrat said with absolute certainty. "It shouldn't have happened to me, period. I just meant maybe if I had acted better, people at my old job, who knew what happened, would have had more consideration for me." Montserrat didn't like to think a lot about her old job in Queens, but the people there had never been the kindest. She didn't expect - nor want for that matter - a whole sympathy party from them, but she didn't expect to be pushed out of the job either. "That's why I like where I am now. At least if anything happens to me again, I know people might care."

It was a rather cynical way of thinking, but Montserrat felt it to be nothing but the truth.

~0~

By the time Montserrat returned to the precinct, many things had already gone down. For starters, the team had discovered their mayor-to-be was using secret websites to chat with other women, sometimes going truly explicit. Poor Amanda had been the center of his attention the previous night.

"Alex claims wall street is setting him up," Rafael wearily repeated the excuse Alex had given him earlier in the morning after speaking to him about the pictures he sent to Amanda.

The rest of the team exchanged curious glances but no one, except Nick, dared to mention what they were thinking.

"What, you told him we were looking at his account?"

Rafael took the accusation somewhat calmly. He expected some type of accusation along those lines. "I gave him a chance to get out in front of this."

Nick seemed to be angered with the answer, as he firmly believed Rafael was on another plan. "So now not only is he tampering with witnesses, he has you covering it up for him!"

"Nick," Olivia's call made no sense for Nick.

"What!? It's what you're all thinking!"

"Did you find any evidence at all that Lindsay is shaking him down or that he's paying to hush her up?" Rafael's question seemed more like a challenge to defy his words, and it only irritated Nick more.

"There's nothing so far on the public sites, but we'll keep checking," Amanda's fingers hovered over her laptop.

"Do that."

"We will," Montserrat spoke up for the first time since the conversation started. Her curt, brief answer was enough indication she was still very much irritated with him.

He took the jab with a nod of his head. It was well deserved, he knew. "Since we're all clear…" he turned to go, but of course it wouldn't be easy to escape with Nick trailing behind him.

"That's not going to end well," Montserrat got up from her desk and headed for the lounge to get some needed coffee. As she was pouring herself warm coffee, Sonny came into the room. "You want some?" she asked without looking up.

"Sure." Sonny moved over and reached for a couple sugar packs he knew she liked.

"Did Nick come back in one piece?" Montserrat slid her coffee cup to Sonny then grabbed another for herself.

"Not sure. I left before he did," Sonny ripped open a sugar pack and let it all drown into his coffee. "I bet Barba is just trying to keep it together right now." Montserrat briefly paused her coffee pouring, something Sonny noticed but didn't comment on. "I mean, it can't be easy being childhood friends with someone who's, well...turning out not to be the righteous man he once knew."

Montserrat carefully returned the coffee pot to its place. "No, it can't be. But it doesn't give him a right to be so rude when we're just trying to help, and to mention doing our job." There was a particular sourness covering her tone, but Sonny felt like there was an underlying hurt somewhere there.

"Course not, but try being in his shoes for a moment."

Montserrat finally stopped altogether and turned to Sonny. "Is there something you want to say to me?"

"I'm not trying to poke or interfere in whatever you and Barba have going on-"

"-it's nothing," snapped Montserrat, but there was a subtle shift on her feet. "And if you're that interested to know, I'm just a little pissed off that he's being more snarky than usual when all I did was try to be nice and be there for him." As soon as she finished her quick, but feeling-covered, explanation she regretted it. Sonny gave her a look and the fact his lips were twitching to form a smile made her feel no better. "Please don't say anything," she sighed and went back to preparing her coffee. "It's really nothing. I'm just...I tried to be nice and he... practically barked in my face to leave him the hell alone."

"Did he actually say those words?"

"...no. It was more of a…rushed 'I'm good'," Montserrat closed her eyes as another realization hit her. "...which really just means he wasn't. Dammit."

Sonny patted her back and took over the coffee preparation.

Montserrat released a big sigh and brought her fingers to pinch the bridge of her nose. "And me being the dumbass that I am, missed that." Sonny laughed beside her. "In my defense, I have my own problems too so my temperament is off!"

Sonny held her coffee cup to her with his usual smile. "No one blames you."

"I think one person does," Montserrat took her coffee cup and headed back for the bullpen.

Nick was returning as well but he seemed to be physically fine. "Guys like Barba, too smart for their own good."

"I'm sure he said the same about you," Olivia gave him a pat on the arm as he passed by.

"What, everyone thinks we should just let this go?" Nick looked around to see who was on that side of the coin.

"It's not that we want to," Montserrat spoke up. "But...we really don't have anything incriminating on Muñoz."

"Muñoz sent out some selfies but that's not a sex crime," Fin said before he chuckled. "All I know is I don't want to see any more of them."

Nick was frustrated that no one was taking him serious. "It's not just selfies, all right? This clown could be mayor. He opened himself up to blackmail, right? Eddie had cash. Where did he get it from, huh? This could just be the tip of the iceberg."

"I think we saw more than just the tip," Finn snickered at his spot.

Olivia motioned him to stop before the comments got worse. "Nick, even if you're right, this is a political corruption case. We'd have to hand it over to the feds anyway. What are we going to hand over? The pics he sent to Rollins?"

The woman in question cleared her throat at her desk. She'd been immersed in her computer ever since Rafael had left. "It looks like I may not be the only one. Enrique Trouble's popping up on other sites. It goes back over a year."

Hearing this made the rest of the team gather behind her chair to see her screen.

"Look, I found ten so far!"

"That makes him a dog, not a criminal," Fin still shrugged.

"That's not the word I'd use to describe him," Montserrat said before sipping her coffee.

"Well, one of these women that he was sexting with just got an executive position at the New York gaming commission," Amanda revealed and brought up the profile of said woman. "I wonder who could have pulled those strings."

"Anna Please," Olivia read off the screen. "She have any governmental background?"

"Doesn't seem like it."

"Hold up. I've seen this girl on a screen before, and it wasn't on c-span," Finn said with a curious smile.

~0~

"I don't understand this. I already have the position," the woman named Anna insisted for the second time, already sounding annoyed to the two detectives tailing her down the hallway.

"We have a few background questions," Finn simply repeated their excuse, which was the honest truth anyways.

"Mhm," agreed Montserrat, not quite in the mood for games. She wanted to be direct. "Your resume says you went to university of Michigan, but they don't have any record of you attending."

There was a brief flash of panicked on Anna's face as she sat at her desk. "They don't? Mm-mm. I should fix that. I was more like auditing."

Lies. Montserrat barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes. "Really? What subjects?"

"Dance and movement."

"No acting?"

Anna laughed casually, at least that was her attempt. "No. I never studied any acting."

Montserrat gave the woman one look before glancing at Finn. The man seemed giddy as he reached inside his jacket's pocket.

"That's funny, Amber, because my partner here says you're a real natural in - what is it, Finn?"

"This is my favorite," Finn turned over a movie box he'd brought with them. "Million Dollar a Night Baby."

With that in the air, Amber didn't see any point in lying anymore. She released a heavy sigh and looked past the two detectives to the open door. "Okay, this is unfair. It was a long time ago. I didn't do any adult films after that. Are you from vice?" she paused to once again look at the open door. She was being extra quiet now. "I didn't do anything illegal."

"Yeah, we're not so interested in your past jobs," Montserrat clarified. She planted her hands on the desk and leaned forwards. "We want to know how you got your job here. Did Enrique Trouble put in a call for you?"

Amber leveled Montserrat's look, not looking so intimidated as they'd hoped. "So what if he did? It's Albany. Believe me, there are people a lot less qualified than I am working here."

Of course, Montserrat wasn't one to lose so easily. "Fine, we'll remember that as we get your ass fired. Think about that then give us a call," she smiled sweetly then turned to leave with Finn.

They didn't make it out the office door when Amber called for them to stop.

~0~

"I'm home," called Montserrat as soon as she walked into her apartment. She could hear clinging and clanging from Kara's room while she set her things down.

A couple minutes later, Kara emerged from the hallway wearing a pretty blue dress that hugged her body. Her hair was curled and pulled back by two clips.

"Stark red lipstick," Montserrat smirked as she headed by for the kitchen. "That can only mean someone's got a hot date tonight."

"Oh, you betcha," Kara hurriedly patted down her dress as if it needed more help. "He finally asked."

"Who?" Montserrat returned holding a bag of trail mix.

As Kara opened her mouth, someone knocked on the door. Kara hushed up and went to answer instead.

"Oh hell no," Montserrat honestly blamed herself for not realizing quicker.

"Good thing is you know him," Kara pulled Sonny right into the apartment, skipping all the hellos and whatnot.

"Unfortunately."

"Montse," went both with the same disapproval.

"No," Montserrat stuffed more trail mix into her mouth. "If I don't see it, it's not real." And with that, she turned away from the two with no intention of looking back.

"You're a child!" Kara shouted.

Sonny was smarter in that aspect and said something that definitely made Montserrat look back. "And I'll make sure to let you know how it went tomorrow."

"You wouldn't…"

Sonny's smile said it all. "See you later, partner."

Montserrat practically shouted for them to get going already. She shivered once she was alone and dreaded what Sonny would tell her tomorrow, and even more so what Kara would say.

~0~

Rafael didn't think he would ever have to make such a grim visit to one of his old friends. One friend was already borderlining the enemy line, in Alex's perspective anyways. Rafael still had hope - albeit a tiny hope - that Alex would come to his senses sooner or later. For now, he had to try to get Eddie to come back.

He found the old friend in a familiar spot, the same park he used to play at when he was a kid.

"Hey, Raffi. What's good, hermano? How you find me here?" Eddie scooted on the park bench to make more room.

"I stopped by your place, saw your mom," Rafael took the seat but purposely kept a distance. It was awful being like that with an old friend.

"My mom looks good," Eddie knew what Rafael had come for, but he didn't want to get to it. He didn't want to argue.

"Bueno, we got to talk-"

"You know, they...they fixed this park since we were kids, right?" Eddie cut in.

"Yeah, they did. I remember how you always used to look out for me here," Rafael leaned back against the bench. Talking about their good days wasn't helping, but he couldn't stop. "When that gang from P.S. 109 would come after me for my lunch money...you'd put your arm around me. You'd walk me to school. You said anybody that hurt me would have to deal with you."

"You're my brother, Raffi. I would never have learned English if it wasn't for you. We're even, right?"

"I know that. You're loyal...To a fault," Rafael paused, taking a breath in in order to deal with what came next.

"We're not talking about p.S. 109 now, are we?" Eddie took the silence as the answer. "How much trouble am I in, Raffi?"

"Witness tampering, bribery…Eddie, those are felonies."

"I can't... I can't roll on Alex-"

Perhaps it was the final straw in the whole case, or maybe his irritation towards Alex and his blatant disregard for their friend finally got to Rafael, but he snapped. "You've got - you have got to think about yourself now! Jail's gonna go hard for an ex C.O!"

"Raffi, Alex has always been good to me, okay? He said when he becomes mayor, he's going to get me a job at one P.P-"

"Listen to me," Rafael once again snapped. He turned his body towards Eddie, hoping he could get through to Eddie once and for all. "Eddie, Alex is looking out for himself now. You've got your son and your mother to think about. You're not gonna be any good to them upstate."

Eddie looked out to the playground where his son was playing. "I can't hurt Alex. You tell me what I should do. You were always the smart one."

Well, at least one was still good.

~0~

While Amanda and Finn interrogated Eddie (with his lawyer present), Montserrat, Olivia, Nick and Sonny watched from behind the one-way glass. Eddie was practically singing like a canary about Alex's dirty work.

"We got him now," Nick said with visible pride. Everyone looked at him but there was a hesitancy to agree. "What? It's only right with everything Muñoz did."

"Don't get so cocky," Montserrat warned. "It's not real until the prosecutor gets the case."

"It's basically a done deal," Nick waved a hand at them and walked off.

"How horrible," Montserrat mumbled and started to leave as well. Olivia would remain to oversee the rest of the interrogation. "I don't want to even imagine how Rafael is feeling."

"He's the one who got Eddie to spill, so...he must be seeing the light," Nick said, stopping under the hallway threshold.

"Say that to his face," Sonny went right to his desk.

"You think I won't?"

"Oh," both Montserrat and Sonny collectively scoffed, making Nick roll his eyes.

"We know you will," Montserrat took a seat at her desk.

Just as the three were about to have a round, Olivia emerged from the hallway.

"We got him?" Nick was the first to ask, missing how Montserrat and Sonny glanced at each other.

"Yes…" but judging by Olivia's face there was more than she was telling. "We're going to have to do some digging."

~0~

After doing some digging, Olivia immediately sent Montserrat and Sonny to a high school in Yonkers that wasn't even that far from them.

"Is he frikin kidding me?" Montserrat continued to repeat even as the principal of the school led her and Sonny down a crowded hallway.

Sonny didn't say much but it was clear he was disgusted as he saw more of the innocent students walking by. They were targets of their next mayor-to-be.

Jodie Lanier was not a school teacher, far from it. She was a fifteen year old student with an addiction to her cellphone. The blonde girl was taken to a secluded classroom in order to be talked to.

"If this is about the mall, I paid for these bracelets," Jodie hugged her wrist full of bracelets.

"It's about Alex Muñoz," Sonny's response made the girl stiffen.

"I-I don't know who that is."

"No?" Montserrat raised an eyebrow. She had no mood to tolerate the girl's lies. "Then why is he giving you money? And I would be careful with how you talk to a detective."

"O-okay. I know who he is, but I've never met him," Jodie said quickly.

"Not in person? How about on social media?" Montserrat glanced at Sonny who was nodding in agreement. "I mean, you've exchanged messages."

"I can't talk to you about this," Jodie's eyes flickered between the detectives, feeling more and more trapped.

"Because that's why he's paying you?" Sonny's question was met with silence. "Look, Jodie, you're not in any trouble here."

"Then can I go?"

"Soon. But we need to take a look at your cell phone."

Jodie quickly shook her head. "No way. I have rights!" But seeing the two serious detectives made her falter. "Don't I?"

"Okay, Jodie, this is how it'll work if you don't cooperate right now," Montserrat stepped forwards, intimidating the girl without effort. "If you don't hand the phone over right now, we can and will get a warrant for it. However, to do that we'll have to talk to your mom."

Bingo, the right words had been said.

"Please don't call my mom."

~0~

"Okay Nick, now we got him," Olivia said after reviewing their evidence against Alex. And boy was it a lot.

"Now what?" Amanda looked at the rest of the group, all solemnly quiet due to the problems they were about to cause for not only their friend, but for the city itself. "The election is happening and like it or not, what Barba said is true. Should we attack before or after?"

"We need to do it now," Finn said before anyone else spoke up. "It'll be a lot harder to make the case when he had even more power."

"It's not quite up to us, though," Olivia reminded them all where the case would be going.

"But it will be handled before anything happens," Nick said the obvious.

"We have to hand this over to Barba," Olivia pulled her glasses off and rubbed her forehead. It was going to be a difficult conversation.

"Let me do it," Montserrat's volunteer came as a surprise to the group, although not so much for Sonny. Whoever volunteered would be volunteering to get yelled at and probably insulted.

The job was hers.

~0~

The last thing Rafael expected was for Montserrat to stop by his office. She came with a mission, however, and it was not a good one.

"Sorry," she felt the need to say as he watched him go through the evidence.

Rafael did a double-take at her, seeming almost incredulous. For a split second, Montserrat thought she did something wrong again.

"Oh God, what I say now?" she sighed.

"Nothing," Rafael said quietly then returned his attention to the report. "Absolutely nothing," he mumbled under his breath.

"When are you handing that over to the special prosecutor?" she then asked, though the fact she was rocking on her feet was signal enough of her nervousness.

"I... I'm not sure. I want Alex - I want him to do it out of his own accord. Be the man he used to be."

Montserrat could say that was a failed plan, but she thought she should be more cautious with her words. "But you just said it. He's someone else now. You can't keep giving him chances you wouldn't offer other perps."

The label hurt more than it should've because it was true.

"I have to try," Rafael insisted, pushing himself up from his seat. He knew what she was thinking - that he was biased, and he probably was - but he needed to do it one more time, at least one more time to say he did everything he could. "Maybe now that he knows what's coming, he'll want to do the right thing."

Montserrat watched him move around the office, trying to convince himself that things could be turned down the right path. She knew what the outcome would be and she was pretty sure that he knew too. He was just trying to convincing himself Alex would take the last chance.

"That's your plan?" she took a seat on his desk, ignoring his brief look for that, and crossed her legs. "Stupidly waste your time? And at night, by the way?"

"It's not a waste of time," he snapped. "I'm giving him the opportunity-"

"-he doesn't want an opportunity!" Montserrat suddenly snapped louder than he had. "C'mon, Rafael, you're too smart for that. How did Nick put it? You're too smart for your own good!"

Rafael stopped his pacing to glare at her, but even then Montserrat didn't back down. She'd grown very used to it by now. Still, she knew this was a different situation, one that had him going crazier than usual. That pushed her guilt.

"You're not desisting, are you?"

"Not at all."

You stubborn man. Montserrat inwardly sighed but still ventured to help him. "Fine. Then I'm coming with."

Rafael paused for another second, thinking it was a joke or another tactic to get him to stop. But when she didn't retract, he became uncomfortable. "Why?"

"Because you're hell-bent on losing your job and because I'm an idiot who loves being yelled at."

That sting was of course meant for him and it was well delivered, but she didn't actually seem to be upset. That just made things odder. He knew he'd been unnecessarily rude to her, in the same situation they were in again, and yet she was stupid enough to come back for more?

"No, absolutely not," he said in the end, but he should've known who he was dealing with.

"You don't have a choice. I'm coming, end of story. Or I go and arrest Alex myself. I'm sure Nick would accompany me if I asked."

Rafael's glare returned, and deeper too, but he knew when he lost...even though it wasn't often. Montserrat got him. In another moment, he would've been impressed. "First, get off my desk."

"Sorry," Montserrat quickly got off and smiled cheerfully.

"Second of all, don't ever threaten me like that again."

"That I cannot promise. You have a tendency to only understand if you're being threatened," Montserrat shrugged and moved to the side. She gestured towards the desk where the evidence rested. "Get what you need."

Rafael looked at her for a full minute before walking up to his desk. Before sifting through the evidence, he glanced at her. "Novak, you're setting yourself up for trouble."

"I know," Montserrat said with all honesty. Her bluntness was even more surprising to him.

She was dead serious.

~0~

The flashing lights in the building would make Montserrat blind if she remained there for too long. Fifteen minutes of standing there were already doing a number on her.

"Now I see why you say 'no' to these events," she told Rafael while she rubbed her eyes.

The ADA was quietly standing beside her, eyes trained on the incoming guests. So many important people had passed by except for the one he needed. Eventually, he began to hear Alex's voice greeting those at the entrance. It was, of course, sucking up.

"Do you want me to come with you, or…?" Montserrat trailed off when Rafael raised a hand indicating her stop.

"Just make sure no one else follows," he curtly warned before taking off.

Montserrat frowned after him. She hated the way he was talking to her, but she tried to remind herself his situation. It was courtesy, leniency, she was trying to offer...but he was pushing her buttons.

"Be the bigger person, be the bigger person," Montserrat mumbled under her breath as she walked past the guests.

"Now? Seriously?" She arrived in time to see Alex's response to Rafael's probable polite asking for a talk.

The local reverend of the place came forwards, almost reeling Alex away from Rafael. "There's a room full of union leaders and CEOs waiting to hear how he's going to save the city."

Montserrat practically pushed her way through the crowd in order to cleverly respond with, "Then unless you want that whole room of Union leaders and CEOs to hear that your friend may be guilty - of several serious charges by the way - you should listen to my friend."

Rafael gave her a side-glance, seemingly thankful for the jab.

"Rafael, todo bien?" Yelina had done the same as Montserrat - moved people out of her way to get there, but the only difference was she did in a lavender cocktail dress.

Rafael kept a straight face when he replied. "Alex and I need to talk."

"Ahora?"

"Well, let's get a nice shot," the priest pulled Yelina towards a photographer and a group of waiting guests. "Mr. Slater, will you join us?"

"I won't be long," Alex promised Yelina, giving her a long kiss afterwards.

Montserrat rolled her eyes in plain sight. She was so done with these people.

"Do you know what they're going to talk about?" Yelina approached Montserrat almost immediately after Rafael left with Alex.

Montserrat cleared her throat and practically looked anywhere but Yelina's face. "I...may have an idea, but I definitely know you're not gonna like it." And even though she kept true to her words, she could tell that Yelina had figured out a good portion of the situation. "I'm so sorry," Montserrat could only say before leaving herself.

As she exited the building, she could see the two shadows of men across the street. She's didn't want to admit that she could hear some pieces of their conversation - turning into an argument real fast, she might add - but it was inevitable. What she was lost on was how someone could deny what was so blatantly true especially when it hit them in the face. Because that's exactly what Alex was doing, even when Rafael kept springing new evidence right to Alex's face.

In fact, Alex was getting offended as if he had a reason to get offended. It was ridiculous.

Rafael was left to walk the street alone since, according to Alex - and a hidden truth - he was no longer friends with the people of his neighborhood. Montserrat felt sympathy for them all, but even more for her friend. And by this point, Rafael was going to go mad. It hurt that he was being accused of purposely drowning his once best friend into an abyss. As if he was the wrong one.

One thing Montserrat was sure of was that friendship was over. The bad blood was too much.

"Rafael! Hey! Stop walking!" Montserrat sprinted after him down the street. "Would you - I know you can hear me!"

Finally, the ADA stopped and turned sideways, his expression warning her to stay away. Of course, Montserrat wasn't one to always listen. "Novak, you're free to go."

Montserrat snorted, her offence etching across her face. "No one was threatening with me with a gun, Rafael. I came for you. As backup. As...support because I can't imagine what you're feeling. I wouldn't be able to take it."

"I can. You can go-"

"-I'm not leaving you alone like this! What the hell did Alex tell you?"

"That he doesn't care, basically. He has…" Rafael stopped for a second, still unable to believe where they were now. "He has no morals left. So now I have to do what my job tells me to."

"You're going to turn him in," Montserrat quietly said. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," Rafael said then turned to leave.

"Well…" Montserrat hesitated to follow, knowing she was just pushing his anger to double, but it wasn't a good idea to leave him alone either. "Do you want to go get some drinks? Coffee maybe…?" She'd only taken a couple steps in his direction when he whirled around with newfound anger.

"Novak, leave me the hell alone! I don't want your company, I don't need anyone else! So leave me alone already!"

Montserrat blinked in shock at his outburst. Of course she figured she'd finally pushed the right button of his to make him snap like that. She couldn't say she was surprised. "Sorry…" she cleared her throat and brought her coat closer to her chest. "I'll...see you tomorrow, then." She started turning in the opposite direction and only paused for a second to apologize again.

Rafael shook his head and started on his own way home, but as he walked he remembered this wasn't the first time he snapped at Montserrat while she was trying to help him...the guilt started settling in. He didn't feel guilt very often, which was what made it hard to ignore this one. "Dammit," he muttered to himself before turning back. He didn't exactly know what he was doing but his feet were moving in Montserrat's direction, and fast too.

He spotted the familiar red hair nearly at the end of the block. She was on the phone...and he started to overhear.

"No, I'm coming home right now. Jesus, who are you? My father?" Montserrat snorted at whoever was on the other line. "Oh no, if you're at my place then I'm not coming home for a long time."

Montserrat pushed the pedestrian button to cross the street and waited her turn. "I did go with Rafael to that stupid event but in the end I got the worst of it." There was a brief pause before Montserrat snorted again. "Nah, he's being an ass. I'll go check up on him tomorrow morning." Another pause passed then Montserrat started bidding goodbye. "Yeah, whatever. See you tomorrow, Carisi." She stuffed her phone into her coat's pocket and continued to wait for the light to switch.

Montserrat heard someone clear their throat followed by a, "So you talk to Carisi at this hour?"

Montserrat playfully rolled her eyes. The pedestrian light switched to go so she stepped onto the road to cross the street. "What do you care if I talk to Sonny?"

"I'm just curious," Rafael walked alongside her.

"Why are you back?" Montserrat's question was asked in the a tiring manner, as if she'd done this over and over. (And she had). Two times was enough to get a hint, though.

"I realized I acted like…"

Montserrat stopped once they'd crossed the street and turned to face him. "...an ass? Yeah. You are. It's why I was giving you the night to cool off."

Rafael's smile was wide and amused. "Really? And you were still going to come back?"

Montserrat wanted to ignore his amusement but she somehow ended up smiling as well. "Yeah. You're an extra rude prick but I'm letting it go on, on account of the situation."

Despite the light atmosphere between them, Rafael had to get serious. And when he did, the guilt returned. "Montserrat, I'm...you came with me - you offered to come with me and I...I yelled...I was…"

Montserrat smiled even wider when she realized what he was attempting to do. She would've let it go on for pure amusement but she figured he was already having enough troubles, so she gave him a break and surprised him with a hug.

"What are you doing…?" Rafael went stiff, to the point where Montserrat nearly laughed.

"Hugging you because you need it," she mumbled. "I'm sorry about Alex."

"So am I," Rafael admitted. "But don't count him out. He's a winner." Montserrat scoffed, but he was quite serious. "When I was seven, my mom said, 'stick with Alex. He'll be mayor of New York someday.' She never said that about me."

"But you turned out even better," Montserrat said automatically and missed his brief smile.

"It's politics. No danger of a traffic jam on the high road."

"He was a friend-"

"-so was Yelina. She thinks this was personal, not professional."

"Stop," Montserrat drew away from him to look him in the eyes. "If they'd been your friends, they wouldn't have put you through all of that. It's on them, not on you."

"Thank you," Rafael said after a minute. He looked at her for a minute while it donned on him she'd been the only one to be with him throughout the entire case, even when he probably didn't deserve it. He pulled her back for another hug, startling her, but it was ironic since he wasn't able to hug back the way Montserrat would expect. It showed he didn't do a lot of hugging in his life...which was a shame because he had the arms for it...and a good scent.

Get ahold of yourself, Montse, she silently berated herself.

"Is your brother still not talking to you?"

Montserrat was startled by the question. "No. In his perspective, I'm still the ungrateful daughter who insulted our father." Her sarcastic remark wasn't enough to make it seem like it hurt less. But just like Rafael, a grimness settled across her face. "He's not letting me talk to my nieces, nor see them. I don't have a lot of family in New York, so...it's a little hard dealing with it…"

"I know," Rafael agreed. "You'll get through this."

"...so will you," Montserrat whispered.

She sincerely hoped they could.

#rafael barba #svu #ocapp #ocappreciation #rafael barba imagines #svu imagines #svu fanfics #rafael barba fics #law and order svu #oc: Montserrat Novak #fic: dare to forget me #noblecrescentedit #sonny carisi #olivia benson #amanda rollins #fin tutuola #Nick Amaro

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justastormie · 7 years

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I’m doing two, because I can.

Ancient Historical meme from my drafts;

First things first: What’s their name and when and where did they live? If there are any/ you have one, add your favourite picture of them.

Erwin Johannes Eugene Rommel (1891-1944), Germany, lived around Württemberg for most of his life, the occasional world war aside. Of historical note for being a masterful tactician, writing an important book of military theory about wwi and commanding the german forces in the north african campaign of wwii.

Napoleon (1769-1821), France technically but had a great deal of fun on camping trips all over Europe. Of historical note for one-uping Alexander the Great. Created landmark legal, military and social organizations. List of fuckups is longer than most people’s list of accomplishments. One of the most enduring military and political legends of the modern era. Bees.

1. How and when did you first hear about them?

Rommel- I honestly can’t remember. My father is a wwii nut so i was raised on the stuff. I got serious in my interest of him about 12/13 when I first read the collection of his papers translated into English.

Napoleon- fourth grade (about ten years old). We had a section of world history, dismal though it was. In one of the little “fun facts” thing they had a tiny little box describing Nap’s return from Elba with an itty-bitty reproduction of Steben’s Returned From Elba. I thought that sounded like the most badass thing I had ever heard, and was also a little in disbelief because surely someone can’t just walk back and reclaim their kingdom. Like, that shit didn’t happen in real life. So I bought my first biography to find out the real story.

2. What do you like most about them?

Rommel

he tempered his ambition and leadership with compassion and a fierce sense of honor

genuinely seems to have been a nice dude

he and his wife are cute as fuck

was later cute as fuck about his son Manfred

was incredibly clever

was a peach eating lunatic adventurer masquerading as a srs prussian soldier

he was a romantic both in the age of chivalry sense and the modern sense

Napoleon

SUCH A BADASS, oh my god

was an over-invested mono-maniac at all times, which I can related to

incredibly capable in many fields

i have been napoleon and josephine trash since day one

crowning himself. i just love that moment.

was really smart. on a ‘holy shit’ level. (even if he did some massively stupid shit sometimes)

meritocratic promotion structures

hamilton WISHES he were this non-stop.

never gave up, never gave in. even on st. helena he started dedicated his energies to preserving his legend and legacy, to great effect.

3. Is there anything about them that makes you angry or that you don’t like at all?

Rommel

literally worked for nazis

pretty sexist

there’s a lot i disagree with him about, but very few things that make me truly pissed off. ie he was of the period opinion that military men shouldn’t be involved in politics, as he thought that would mean the military as an organization would start defining germany’s political future which would turn into military rule and he was catagorically against that. which i think is both wrong and allowed him, and others in the german army, to disclaim responsibility for political shit they didn’t agree with that was being done by their government. but i can absolutely see where he was coming from, and i think his concerns were reasonable and legitimate.

so yeah. a lot of disagreements, but very few things that just piss me off.

Napoleon

w h e r e d o I b e g i n

allowed his obsession with legend and conquest overwhelm his moral values

sold his honor and his moral principles in order to maintain power

frequently only took into account the human cost of warfare way too fucking late

rampant misogyny

really fucked over Junot

really fucked over tons and tons of people who were loyal to him, from close friends to the soldiers who followed him

got a truly staggering number of people killed on account of his own short-sighted obsessions

to paraphrase the old tv show Wiseguy, You don’t get to shove people around just because your fire burns brighter, no matter how brilliant that fire is.

never gave up, never gave in. even when he fucking should have, looking at you reasonable peace terms of 1813.

4. If you had one day with them in our present time - what would you do together?

Rommel - Aviation museum, he’d absolutely love it. I’d get him to pick some German place to eat and interrogate him ruthlessly about what inter-war rural Germany was like.

Napoleon- Smack him repeatedly in the face for invading Spain Walk and talk. Have him show me around Paris and have a debate over legal systems. Nerd out over Ossain. Show him a modern bookstore. Let him see how much of his work has survived into the present day. Shove him into at least one shrubbery.

5. What would you like to talk about with them?

Rommel - Engineering, aviation, dogs and funny army stories

Napoleon- All of the things. I can only imagine the conversation would be a pinball game of madness as to topics covered. And okay. I’d have to ask about Waterloo. I’d be that person. I don’t think he’d do it, but I’d love to hear him talk about Corsica.

6. In which way do you identify most with them or a figure they created?

Rommel - He was an intensely practical man who tried very hard to do the right thing and frequently failed. I hope that one day I’ll have the strength of character to try to rectify my mistakes as he did his.

Napoleon - I too am an over-invested, bossy weirdo.

7. Thoughts about their death? E.g.:Was it too early, was it deserved, woud you have tried to prevent it and how?

Rommel- oh god TOO EARLY, UNDESERVED, that poor brave bastard. I mean the fact that he was murdered because of his role in a plot to overthrow hitler and make peace with the allies is reason enough. would have definitely tried to prevent it, but would need like. the a-team to stop it. because you’d have to rescue not only rommel but his family that was being used as leverage against him. unless you’re allowed to go really far back and then i’d just start slapping the shit out of everyone at the versailles peace conference.

Napoleon - hoooo boy. uuuuuuuh. i mean. do i like it how he died? no. does that dislike come from a rational place? ...nooo. best case scenario for me would be he gets shot before the last charge of waterloo. hell if i had my way i’d go back and convince him what REALLY needed done was him personally leading the imperial guard up the hill. heroic, dramatic death and historians get to fight over wellsley actually beat napoleon for the rest of forever. europe also gets a break from napoleonic insanity. which doesn’t happen if napoleon gets to live. once more if you’re allowed further back, i slap the shit out of him before he invades Spain and point out that Ireland is lovely this time of year (it’d still be a clusterfuck, but less of one).

8. Is there a book or movie etc. you would recommend to someone who’s new to the person and would like to learn more about them?

Rommel - The Rommel Papers is a good place to start, there are frequent letters to his wife but the content is primarily military.

Napoleon - Shannon Selin’s website and book. The book is fiction but she is the lord our god in this fandom for her mad research skills. She provides sources for everything, which makes her the perfect jumping off point. (Now if I can just convince her that what she REALLY needs to do is write another book starring josephine)

9. What can we learn from them?

Rommel - when in doubt, bluff like a motherfucker right action is not a mystical, obvious thing at all times, we must do what we believe is right to the best of our abilities while being willing to let compassion guide us onto different paths.

Napoleon -

human beings are capable of astonishing intellectual and physical feats, and the best of our stories can still be written, they are not confined to antiquity.

find friends who will support your goals and then listen to their good advice even when it challenges your ego.

if loud, bossy weirdos can find devoted friends and romantic partners than we’ve got a pretty good shot too.

don’t invade spain

propaganda is half the battle

love, in all its forms, is a resilient motherfucker

don’t interrupt your enemy when he’s making a mistake

strive to be so badass that hundreds of years later, the historical fiction that is all about fighting you has their characters become complete fanboys any time you actually show up (ft. Richard Sharpe in Down With The Tyrant But OMG Harper Look It’s Napoleon *SWOON*, hon. mention also goes to William “Why Aren’t I French” Laurence).

a willingness to take charge is half the battle for power

bees are a cute fashion accessory and go with anything

10. Would you want to be friends with them if they were still alive?

Rommel - I think he’d be a good Dad Friend to have. Someone to ask for advice and go to reenactments with. A good person for moral/personal advice even if their political/social views are outdated. Definite bonding over dogs.

Napoleon - Would entirely depend on how we met. I feel like we’re similar enough on a personal level that it’d be very easy for our personalities to clash, and we’d have to declare ourselves mortal enemies and neither of us would back down from that because what is admitting you might have been hasty. Or, if fate were kind, we’d get on splendidly with constant low levels of dry sarcasm and prank wars. There would also be lots of emotions everywhere, at all times. People would hide. I have to admit I’d still stab somebody if it meant I got to be a Marshal.

11. The most powerful quote by or about them?

Rommel - have short one and a long one

"We have a very daring and skillful opponent against us, and, may I say across the havoc of war, a great general."

- Winston Churchill during 1942. During the fucking war. I mean damn, it doesn’t get better. Though since this is easily the most famous quote about him, have a personal favorite;

“Living legends, they project, each in his way, the classic image of a the warrior: brave, vigorous, sharp of eye and mind, rapid in decision, alert in danger, faster and bolder in the fight than his enemies. of this extraordinary brotherhood is Rommel-the brotherhood of Hector, of Rupert of the Rhine, of those who can only be described as heroes; and it is curious that so determinedly practical a modernist as Rommel-the least fanciful of men- should have joined a company so bonded by myth.”

-David Fraser from Knight’s Cross: A Live of Field Marshal Erwin Rommel

Napoleon -

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others

i mean;

History is a set of lies agreed upon.

- Napoleon at some point, i’m not sure. But i’ve always loved it and found it apt.

#stormie cares about dead people #and blathers on #i'm cleaning out my drafts

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humbleicome · 7 years

Text

No Say for Bosses

How many have you heard (or suffered through)? It's one thing if your boss uses certain words incorrectly, and looks kinda dumb. It's one thing if your boss describes himself (because it's always guys who do this) in a certain way, and looks kinda pretentious. When that happens, you may roll your eyes. But what about when your boss says things that are total nonsense? Like:

1. "I would like to give you a raise, but (insert any old nonsense here)." INC. TODAY'S MUST READS: This Brilliant Email From Netflix Was a Master Class in Dealing With a Legal Issue Imagine you're sitting with your boss and he says, "I would like to give you a raise, but ... " Do you walk away feeling good about yourself? After all, he really, really wants to give you a raise, but his hands are tied, so he can't. That's like saying, "I don't want to fire you, but I have no choice." You're still fired. And you're still not getting a raise. If the employee hasn't earned a raise, say why. If the company can't afford to increase salaries, explain why. But don't tell someone what you would do. If you're the boss, the only person you're trying to make feel better by saying that is yourself.

2. "This is probably not what you want to hear." It sucks to hear bad news, no doubt. But when you say that something isn't what I want to hear, you shift the issue over to my side of the table. Somehow it's become my problem. Don't shift. Explain why you made a decision. Explain the logic. Explain your reasoning. I still may not want to hear it, but that way the focus remains on the issue and not on me.

3. "Let me check into that and get back to you." How many times have the people who told you they would "check into that" actually gotten back to you? Still trying to remember a time? "I'll check into that" is a polite way of saying, "I have better things to do than talk about this." If you do need to check into something, explain what you will do, when you will do it, and when you will follow up. And then hold yourself to that commitment -- because to the employee, it is truly a commitment.

4. "I need to treat everyone equally." Every employee is different. Some need a nudge. Others need confidence boosts. Others need a kick in the pants. Some employees have earned greater freedom. Others have not. Equal treatment is not always fair. People care a lot more when they know a reward or discipline is based on what is right, not just what is written.

5. "Work smarter, not harder." What happens when you say that to me? One: You imply I'm stupid. Two: You imply whatever I'm doing should take a lot less time and effort than it has been taking. And three: After you say it, I'm kinda pissed off. If you know I can be more efficient, tell me how. If you know there's a better way, show me. If you think there's a better way but don't know what it is, say so. Admit you don't have the answer, and then ask me to help you figure it out. Most important, recognize that sometimes the only thing to do is to work harder. So get off your butt and help me.

6. "There is no 'I' in 'team.'" Sure there is. There are as many I's as team members. And those individuals -- the more "individual" the better -- serve to make the team stronger. The best teams are often a funky blend of the members' individual talents, perspectives, and goals. If you want a team to achieve more, make sure each person feels she is forwarding not only the team's goals but also her own. Figure out how each member of the team can do both, instead of taking the lazy way out by simply repressing individuality in the pursuit of the collective.

7. "I guess it just wasn't meant to be." Fate had nothing to do with it. Something went wrong. Figure out what it was and learn from it. "It wasn't meant to be" places responsibility elsewhere. "Let's figure out what we can do next time" is empowering and places the responsibility where it should be: on you.

8. "That's just Joe being Joe." Typically used to explain away someone's poor behavior, like the top salesperson who treats people badly or the great engineer who is rude during meetings. The loose translation of this statement is, "Even though it's my job as a boss to address this issue, and I wouldn't let anyone else behave that way, I don't feel like dealing with it." Maybe Joe is just being Joe, but Joe still needs to meet basic expectations, especially where his treatment of other people is concerned.

9. "We're in the middle of a paradigm shift." Actually, we're experiencing a change you don't know how to deal with and "paradigm shift" sounds a lot better than "I have no idea what the (heck) is going on." If you don't know, just say so. And ask for help.

10. "Perception is reality." Yeah, yeah, I know: How I perceive something is my version of reality, no matter how wrong my perception may be. But if other people perceive a reality differently from you, work to change that perception. Make reality the reality. Besides, perceptions are fleeting. Reality lasts forever, or at least until a new reality comes along to replace it.

11. "So-and-so works for me." Maybe it's just me, but I never like when bosses say, "Joe works for me," especially when Joe is within hearing distance. Good bosses feel their employees work with them, not for them. Great bosses feel they work for their employees; they feel their job is to serve, not to be served.

12. "Feel free to give me feedback." You see and hear a similar line everywhere: websites, signs, meetings. If you really do want feedback, don't be passive. Don't just make it "easy" for people to give you feedback. Go get it. Be active. INC. TODAY'S MUST READS: Uber's New CEO Just Sent an Amazing Email to Employees--and Taught a Major Lesson in Emotional Intelligence Ask. People who really want feedback take responsibility for getting it -- they don't wait to receive it.

13. "You need to square the circle." I actually don't know what this is supposed to mean. A boss of mine used it all the time, and we just nodded.

14. "Let's do it now and apologize later." This statement doesn't make you a bold, daring risk taker. It makes you someone who takes shortcuts. If the idea is good, people will rally around it. If they don't, the problem usually isn't them: It's you. Don't take the easy way out. Describe what you want to do. Prove it makes sense. Get people behind you. Then, whatever you do will have a much better chance of succeeding.

15. "Failure is not an option." This one is often used by a leader who wants to shut down questions about a debatable decision or a seemingly impossible goal: "Listen, folks, failure is simply not an option." (Strikes table or podium with fist.) Failure is always a possibility. Just because you say it isn't doesn't change that. Don't reach for a platitude. Justify your decision. Answer the hard questions. If you can't, maybe your decision isn't so wise after all.

16. "You're putting lipstick on a pig." If I actually could, it would be quite an achievement.

17. "We need to pay attention to the optics." Because if people figure out what we're really doing, how will that look?

18. "We don't need to reinvent the wheel." I'm all for using a perfectly good wheel. But too often this statement is used to shut down new ideas, especially those that run counter to a boss's ideas. After all, your wheel might turn out to be a better wheel, which means his wheel wasn't so great. And he can't have that.

19. "We need to manage their expectations." Because, you know, just telling them the truth might be a problem. Even so. Tell the truth.

20. "We need to focus on adding value." Shouldn't we have been doing that all along? Shouldn't everything we do provide value? INC. TODAY'S MUST READS: It Took LinkedIn's CEO Exactly 2 Sentences to Give the Best Career Advice You'll Hear Today If it doesn't, why are we doing it?

21. "It is what it is." Here's another shutdown statement. Usually, it means, "I'm too lazy to try to make it different, so for gosh sakes, stop talking about it." "It is what it is" is only true if you take the easy way out by letting "it" remain "it." Never let "it" remain "it" when "it" could be better.

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