#truly just hit him with ‘obviously. and obviously you have not.’

[starlightweave]

Us galemancers are truly spoiled what with getting an entire movie every act lmao, but you know the one thing I'd wish they'd changed was that if you chose the mortal love scene in act 2, you could then get the astral one in act 3. In addition to the astral boat ofc lol. Yes I'm greedy and this is how I will write it for Silmë & Gale 🥰

I'm conflicted on the astral scene bc it's obviously important to Gale to BOND SOULS, and no matter what route you take there, I am sure he and Tav will definitely do that ritual at a later date, and on a regular basis throughout their lives. However all the dialogue tho seems to indicate Tav feels Gale is doing this bc he thinks Gale the man is not enough; why would anyone want to have normal sex when we could have this "superior" bonding of souls in the weave? It fits in with his theme of why would you want a man when I could be a god? / "why wallow in the dirt when we could reach for the stars?"

So that's why I really wish his romance included both: bc his professor ending is about learning life on solid ground has value, while still embracing the magic that he loves! I think that would then be reflected in his and Tav's relationship, these 2 ways of making love being 2 sides of the same coin, and their relationship is not complete w/o both

That's how I imagine it for Silmë anyway. Details below~

Silmë says she DEFINITELY wants to try this bonding in the weave eventually, but for tonight she wants him how she's been dreaming about him - and how she knows he has been dreaming about her - under the stars he made. I will be torturing Gale with unhinged lust in act 1 lmao; for the first time since he's been w/ mystra (so what like 10 yrs or more?), he's deeply fantasizing about real sex. And being very surprised to find this is what he's mostly thinking about with Silmë. He's imaging what it would be like to bond with her soul too, to connect with that beautiful hurricane of lightning and starlight at her center, but he's mostly jacking off to the idea of her sitting on his face lmao.

I think canonically he MUST be thinking about getting physically freaky bc of dialogue such as "I rather like it (your musk)" Bruh. Men are FREAKS about that IRL 😂. For him to SAY that?? You KNOW what he's been thinking about lmao. And then his outburst in the shadow lands?? and BRO have you ever seen his dialogue w/ a romanced origin karlach if she hasn't gotten her engine fixed when becoming partnered w/ Gale!? "I wish I could kiss you" "gods don't tempt me" (at 1:16 in the video) LIKE 🥵??

I could cite more examples but we all know his dialogue in and out lol I think you get the picture. But that's my argument for why I wanna write him as fantasizing about real sex with Silmë, in addition to bonding souls. And why I wish we could get both scenes in the game!! And yes this is coming on the heels of just posting about how "With these stars as my witness, I swear you will always be enough for me" should be in EVERY human gale route!!

EDIT: I forgot to add bc tumblr published the draft even tho I hit save, but the way I see the astral sex scene being worked in for Gale & Silmë is after the astral boat scene, which is tense but ends sweetly as it does canonically, they go to sleep. Now, we we know the morning after, Gale says "I hope you don't think less of me" which makes me think maybe he was a little worried about that overnight. So when they go to sleep, Gale has a nightmare about being god Gale at the epilogue, and Silmarien h a t i n g him, actually attacking him.

He wakes up in terror, experiencing immense relief upon seeing her in bed next to him, and wakes her up by fiercely embracing her, needing to do so to completely dissipate the terror. He's apologizing for their argument, saying I hope you don't think less of me. Silmë is all baby nooo, you listened to me, how could I think less of you 🥺? He asks her to please let him show what she truly mean to him, to intertwine their souls in the weave. Silmarien would love to, she has wanted to at some point since that first night, and apologizes for being so distracted that she didn't ask about it (then again, not like gale wasn't keeping her busy 😏). Cue the astral scene but with the addition of "with these stars as my witness, I swear you will always be enough for me" dialogue 🥺. And then Gale & Silmë proceed to be even MORE insufferably in love after this 🥰

[scionshtola]

prior to going to rak’tika, ryne expresses nervousness over meeting shtola. and then the first thing shtola does is threaten you over being a sin eater (to which ryne says she’s even more intimidating than she imagined). and the second thing she does is go off on thancred in front of her for how he treats her. amazing first impressions lol

[to-the-batcomputer]

christ almighty. bruce wayne i don't forgive you for anything (<- girl who just watched utrh voice)

[cluescorner]

We need to bring back Gun Batman immediately where the FUCK is he

titans of tomorrow

aftermath:

[meowmedusa]

today i am playing a game called i hate everything right now

[aroaceofthesea]

That was a close call but solo avoided guys mission successful

[tobiasdrake]

Where do you fall on the "killing vs. not killing bad guys" argument? I know the debate is complicated and there's a lot of various factors for and against either side, so I wanna hear your take on things.

An intensely complicated subject that tends to get oversimplified on both sides of the equation. I generally don't like to take a "side" on this because I feel like the idea of there being "sides" on killing misses the point.

Unless you're talking about cold-blooded execution of a subdued foe, killing generally isn't a choice you get to make. It's a consequence of the choice you already made to use violence.

While arguments about killing villains exist beyond superhero comics, this is a particular way that they tend to happen in superhero media. Superhero stories depict their heroes as, effectively, SWAT teams. The Green Goblin is about to blow up Newark, so Spider-Man breaks in and smashes his face against a brick wall until he passes out.

Part of the fantasy is the idea that nonlethal violence is easy and reliable. After Spider-Man reduces the Green Goblin's HP to 0, a Windows menu pops up and says "Would you like to finish him?" Spider-Man boldly clicks "No" after every fight like the hero he is.

It allows fans to enjoy brutal takedowns of bad guys without having to reckon with the reality that when Batman brought an entire floor down on top of that guy's head, he probably didn't wake up in a hospital bed. Batman can throw a guy off a third story balcony and watch his knees crack as he hits the ground and the story assures you that he's fine. He'll just need a little stay in the hospital.

But realistically speaking, all of these guys would have body counts. Not because they were aggressively trying to murder, but because you don't really get the choice. It is extremely easy to kill someone and surprisingly difficult to nonlethally incapacitate them. The line between how much blunt-force cranial trauma will knock someone unconscious versus how much will kill them is extremely blurry and it moves.

There are less lethal ways of incapacitating someone than others. Obviously, tasing someone has a lower mortality rate than shooting them with bullets. But the only surefire way to uphold a Code of No-Killing is to not use violence as your problem-solving tool in the first place. And there's not a lot of de-escalation training going around the Avengers Mansion.

So it always just feels kind of self-delusional when superheroes brag about not killing people but their primary mode of problem-solving is to shoot a guy in the face with an exploding arrow or something. You're gonna kill people if you're Batmanning. Sorry, that's just the reality of violence. When you throw a guy off a roof, you don't get to choose what physics is going to do to that sack of meat and bone as it hits the ground.

Now, on the opposite end of the spectrum, should superheroes kill people on purpose? Uh. No. I don't want cops extrajudicially murdering whoever they don't like, and I don't want Batman to do it either. Due process exists for a reason.

Superheroes should not try to kill people. But they are going to kill people sometimes, because their hammer is violence and their stories are just excuses to pit them against nails.

"But the Joker always breaks out of prison." Yeah, but he also always comes back to life. If you can nitpick about genre conventions then I can too. Hell, often times you can't even redeem a villain without the next writer unwriting it and making them a bad guy again. At a metafictional level, there is rarely any way to truly do away with a popular villain.

But. Y'know. Let's talk about heroes who aren't fucking copaganda. In the broader fictional sense, should stories end with the hero killing the villain or shouldn't they?

This, again, has no simple Yes or No answer. It depends heavily on the themes being explored and what the villain is meant to represent.

We need to talk about the "demise" of the villain, which can be a literal death or it can be many other things. The primary function of the villain is to be wrong about something. To oppose the hero, who is right about something.

The villain holds bad ideas, bad beliefs, bad ideology. The hero may start out holding good ideas, or they may be something that the hero comes to over the course of the story. But by the time these two meet in the third act climax, they are meant to embody the two faces of the story's central thesis. Regarding whatever this story is trying to talk about, the hero is right and the villain is wrong.

Whatever form it takes, whether literal death or not, the demise of the villain is the final statement on their incorrect or even toxic beliefs. Which often does take the form of literal death because it's easy to write a comeuppance that way.

Luke Skywalker believes that there is love in his father's heart for him, and Emperor Palpatine is confident that Anakin is truly lost. But Luke's love for his family wins out and destroys Palpatine.

Scar is selfish, cowardly, and disloyal. Simba returns out of a sense of responsibility and loyalty to his people, coming clean to them and accepting his place among them. Scar tries to sell out the hyenas to save his own skin, as well as stabbing Simba in the back. For his treachery, the hyenas rip him to pieces; He is devoured by the very loyalties that he selfishly betrayed.

Obadiah Stane, the embodiment of war profiteering and the military-industrial complex, is literally consumed by the clean energy project that Tony wants to move the company towards instead.

Sauron underestimates the power of the small and meager folk, and believes wholeheartedly in Great Men of History. And so when Great Man Aragorn marches to his gates, he allows himself to become convinced that this is his true nemesis, his true rival, the threat he must face. This is the glorious battle that will decide the fate of Middle-Earth. And so he turns his eye away from the common folk that will be his undoing.

The villain's flaws, their toxic ideology, the things that make them the villain, are what their demise is supposed to be about. They can be consumed by their failings or undone by the hero's virtues, but either way, in a well-executed demise, a closing statement on the story's thesis is made.

But a well-executed demise doesn't necessarily have to be fatal, either. Like I've said, it can be things other than a literal demise. Sometimes it absolutely should.

In Civil War, Zemo is driven by an obsession for revenge. His homicidal retaliatory bloodthirst is a toxin that he infects both T'Challa and Tony with over the course of the story. Tony succumbs and has to be defeated with force, though Steve still demonstrates his strength of character by sparing Tony's life in the end even when the madness of the battle threatens to grip him too.

But it's T'Challa who delivers Zemo's demise. Not by killing him, but by making the choice to rise above vengeance. T'Challa breaks the shackles of Zemo's infectious vengeance and chooses mercy. And it's in this moment that Zemo's feelings, his cruelty, are opposed and vanquished by T'Challa's heroic virtue.

Firelord Ozai believes in the Social Darwinist ideology of Might Makes Right. He leads a culture where disputes are settled with deathmatches and believes it is his right to blanket the world in fire because he has the power to do so, and no one can stop him. Aang, by contrast, is a pacifist at heart because those are the values he was raised in; Values of a culture that Ozai exterminated, whose very last vestiges exist only in Aang's heart.

Ozai would kill Ozai and Azula, who often gets left out of this conversation. Because theirs is a culture where righteousness stands hand-in-hand with brute strength. Where who is right is decided by who is left standing when the dust settles, and who is a pile of ash. Aang defeats Ozai; By Ozai's belief system, Aang is stronger thus Aang is righteous and it is his Conqueror's Right to execute Ozai where he stands.

But Aang doesn't just beat Ozai; He rejects Ozai's way of life. He renounces the belief system of the imperialist colonizer and holds true to the belief system of a people they destroyed. While a simultaneous outcome plays out between Katara and Azula, as Katara similarly chooses mercy once she's obtained a position of power and control over Azula.

Special note also to Zuko who demonstrates that he actually cares more about protecting people than about winning his Glorious Deathmatch of Imperialist Honor. Which also serves as a rejection of Azula's beliefs that relationships are founded on fear and control. Zuko, too, rejects the belief systems of Ozai and Azula and warrants recognition. Ozai would never have taken a hit like that for Azula. Azula would never take a hit like that for Ty Lee.

It's this mercy that breaks the Hundred-Year War, destroying not the perpetrators of it but the very principles on which it is founded. This philosophical annihilation of Azula and Ozai's very understanding of strength and power is their villainous "demise", and weighs far more than just cutting their heads off and calling it a day ever could.

There is no correct answer to whether or not heroes should kill. What matters most is how the demise the writer chooses for the villain reflects upon the story's central ideas and thesis.

[bagholes]

English subtitles for Johanne Sacreblue

You've probably heard of a parody of Emilia Pérez (produced by a Mexican trans woman!!!) called Johanne Sacreblue. The whole thing is in Spanish (and French, obviously), so I translated the whole thing to English (see read more)

While I wasn't involved in the production of the original short, I'm Mexican and I have a degree in Translation and Applied Linguistics, so hopefully you'll enjoy my translation. Please give the video some love and don't give Emilia Pérez more attention!!

!!!!!!!! ENGLISH SUBTITLES !!!!!!!!!

(Hey! I'm a professional translator, and I translated the whole thing in English. Please upvote so more people can enjoy this video!)

Ah, nauseating France.   

Home of wonderful food such as baguettes, croissants, and more.

Lots of wonderful people live here.

Obviously, we’re French. 

This might look like a love story,

but open your eyes and pay attention!

In France there’s rising burglary rates. 

But why tell you about France when I can show you?

Welcome to la France!

♫

Welcome to la France.

A unique and special country.

Where you’ll know what it means to truly love. Love, love from France.

Live the experience of this place. 

[Homer Simpson voice] Wow, classy.

Maitre D': Good evening, sir. Would you please leave without a fuss right now?

Homer: OK.

Welcome to la France

where you’ll get your heart stolen,

and your wallet, too.

Welcome to la France,

but if you’re Muslim, homosexual, or Black,

I want you to stay back. 

Crêpes? Les crêpes? I didn’t shower today. 

I’m not worried. I smell just fine. 

Like rats, sweat, and wine.

The cheese I eat smells better than me,

but my perfume can take care of it. 

I love feeling superior. 

Here’s some rapping just because. 

Oh, mon ami. Merci. Sacré bleu. Comment tu t’appelles? Merci. Déjà vu. Bon voyage! Pizza, kwason. 

It’s croissant, croissant, croissant!

Welcome to la France

where you’ll get your heart stolen,

and your wallet, too.

Welcome to la France,

but if you’re Muslim, homosexual, or Black,

I want you to stay back. 

Hit it, Mbappé. 

Viva Cinco the Mayo!

Long live cakes!

Marie Antoinette! 

Long live cakes!

My fucking crêpe still hurts when I think of you

Part 1: surprise and challenge.

Maybe all those years living in a ranch were good for him.

He wasn’t living in a ranch!

He lived in Mexico City for ten years.

Same thing. It might as well have been a jungle.

Mexicans are savages. 

Do you know what they do to cheese over there?

They eat it fresh!

I don’t think he copied their ways.

He’s still a good Frenchman.

He better be. I expect no less.

He’s my only son. 

All the suffering in Mexico must’ve gotten rid of his rebel nature. 

He’ll be the perfect man. The perfect male successor for the largest baguette company in France.

My son. My manly son. 

Did I already mention that my son is a man?

He’s here!

Maman, papa… bonjour!

Son of a-

[title credits] Johanne Sacreblue. Directed by someone with ADHD.

What were you up to in Mexico?

I learned how to open a beer using a bill.

Jonathan is using a dress, Bridgitte. And he has breasts! What do you think he was up to in Mexico?

Now my name is Johanne.

Nonsense! You’re not getting the company. No way. 

That’s fine. I don’t even want it. 

Honey, it’s your future. You’re our only DAUGHTER. You have to take the position. 

You’ll get the company. End of story. 

You don’t even want me to own the company!

Because I didn’t think it’s what you wanted!

Why did we stop speaking French?

What did you say?

Nothing. I got confused.

I’ll tell you something: remember the Ratatouille? They gave us this letter. They challenged us to the national France competition to decide once and for all what’s better: baguettes or croissants. 

Do you want to enjoy your fortune? Win this competition and manage the company. Or go back to Mexico to eat guacamole.

For the last time, no! You won’t get the company. 

I’m the only one who’s always loved croissants.

I’m the oldest son. It’s my right. 

Your right? How can think that about your brothers?

Any of them could do a good job.

Hugo can’t get over his artistic phase and he’s addicted to sniffing paint thinner!

I’m not just sniffing paint thinner! Yellow paint makes me happy.

Mario Hugo! Good luck with his twangy voice.

Mario Hugo: I agree with my beloved brother, but I love you, my family. 

No one knows what you’re saying!

Dugo is young! Why can’t it be me?

Well, first of all, you don’t have a penis!

Oof. Gotcha.

I’m trans. Other than that, I haven’t changed at all. 

Does it really affect you that much?

I’ve made myself clear: anything that affects our family affects me!

It’s not that we don’t love you, honey, it’s just that… you embarrass us. 

You’re not even an Hugo!

Yes, I am! I’m [French accent] Arturo! (Translator’s note: the rhyme got lost in translation. Sorry about that). 

“Arturo” isn’t “Hugo”!

Yes, it is! Ar-tu-ro!

Where did you get that?

Well… Chofls!! The letter!

The Sacrebleu have invited us to the Great Paris Competition. We will show once and for all what food item best represents our country! If you beat that family’s stupid transexual, you’ll get the company

I don’t know what to do, bestie. I don’t want to own that goddamn company. 

And why don’t you learn how to do something?

Because if I do it, they’re gonna cut me off, and I’ll be an unemployed, 28-year-old trans woman who has no life skills. 

Why don’t you just tell your father that you don’t want to do it and that you won’t do it?

It’s too late. I have no choice. 

Bestie, I’m so sorry you can’t enjoy your fortune with no commitment.

It’s awful…

Good evening, ladies. What can I get you?

I’ll have some French molletes.

I’ll have chicken.

Of course, ma’am. How shall we cook it?

Anything is fine as long as you kill it as cruelly as possible. 

Excellent choice, ma’am.

Anything else? Would that be all?

That’ll be all. Well, actually, I think I also want-

You said that would be all! You must assume the consequences of your decisions. Rot in hell! [spits]

Oh my, what a great service!

I know! They have the best customer service in France! Okay, so are you signing up for the competition?

I really don’t have a choice…

Bestie, you can do anything. You’re stronger than every woman I know, and I’m not just saying this because you used to be a man…

Thanks for the clarification.

You’re gonna compete and you’re gonna win.

Emily, you have no idea how much that means to me. You’re the only reason I wanted to come to Paris. I wanted to see my friend Emily in Paris. It was the only reason I wanted to come tot this city: see Emily in Paris.

Oh là là, I know! Everyone tells me that! What I don’t get is why you don’t want to compete. This is such an honor for France-

It’s just that there’s a lot of things I don’t understand since I came back. Why are we so impolite? Why do we love animal cruelty? And why exactly do we hate Muslims? 

Because it’s fun!

Yeah, maybe, but have you ever considered that it’s wrong?

Oh my God! You’re right! I’d never thought about it! We’re awful!

Oui!

What we do to birds… we drown them in cognac! Why are we doing it? Who thought of that?

I don’t know.

I feel.. dirty! I want to take a shower!

I knew I wasn’t crazy!

Seriously… I never thought that we were doing something wrong. I always thought that people who get minimum wage liked how we treat them. No wonder they sent you to Mexico… You’re crazy.

I got sent to Mexico for being trans.

They sent you to Mexico because you’ve been hallucinating. You’re seeing Marie Antoinette.

I’m not hallucinating! It’s the actual ghost of Marie Antoinette.

Marie Antoinette: don’t listen to hear. She dresses like a Guatemalan. I’m as real as my tragic death. They should behead her for having such damaged hair.

There’s no point in knowing the truth about France. At the end of the day, I’m just an ordinary French millionaire with enough money to live for four days. There’s nothing I can do.

Marie Antoinette: [unintelligible] sleep paralysis at night.

If you win, all of France will listen to you.

Ladybug: Welcome to the most important competition of la France, where France’s most important families will make a very important decision.

Cat Noir: that’s right! We’re here to make a very important decision. What food best represents France: baguettes or croissants?

Our fellow citizens will know what we’re talking about, but for those dirty foreigners that only know how to use soap…

Wear perfume!

We’ll explain the rules.

There’s two events: whoever wins both will be victorious!

The first even will be a race! The first one to reach the Eiffel tower, touch it and say our catchphrase “we give up!” will be the winner!

Without further ado, we’re heading to the competition!

It’s the best race I’ve seen years!

The Ratatouille throw a croissant to the Sacreblue and almost slashes her throat. It’s cat-tastic!

But Johanne takes the lead with 400 rats, and she wins the race!

Rats! Meow!

Here she comes!

Vive la France!

Your love for croissants ends here. What an embarrassment!

Don’t feel bad, honey. I never really expected anything from you. 

Arturo, I’m not gonna lie…

Brother, defeat will only make you stronger.

What?

You’re a great man. You’ll make it. 

Can I have five French dollars to buy yellow paint? I want to paint. 

Later that night in some French dumpster

♫

I’m just a trash man in Paris.

Another piece of trash in Paris.

But I’m also the greatest trash

I’m the trash man.

I’m such trash that I made a fortune using other cultures.

I’m such trash that I enjoy cancelling last minute

because I’m scared 

that they’ll see my tiny baguette.

I don’t have the guts to say that I fucked up.

I’m scared to know what people think of me

If I’m a good guy or just a bald bad guy

I’m such trash that it’s embarrassing.

I thought Karla Sofia was from Puebla.

I’m such trash that I wrote a musical about narcos.

“Penis to vagina, woman to man.”

What the fuck was that shit, bro?

I’m disgusting, don’t you see? 

I’m disgusting, don’t you see? 

Part 2: from hate to love

Why did you ask me to meet you here?

[sigh] I came to ask you to stop fighting over something as dumb as bread.

Baguettes are just bread, but croissants are France itself. It’s in our veins, in our wine, in the air we breathe!

Arturo, wait, don’t do it!

[coughing]

You can’t take a deep breath in France. Dumbass.

Whatever. You’re just saying this because you’ve been away for a long time. You’re nothing but a chimichanga lover. 

Cinco de Mayo!

How dare you!

Does it make you feel good to be a man hitting a woman?

Actually, yes. Now I get why we do it.

I’ve had enough! I can’t take it anymore! What’s wrong with France? Why do they like to hit women? Why do they like racism? Can’t you see that what we’re doing is wrong?

Actually, no. I had never thought about it. I never considered that… Oh my God… We’re monsters! What are we doing? We must put an end to this!

But how?

You’ll do it with me. With your amazing arguments, we’ll change France. 

Do you think it can be done? But how?

Oui, mademoiselle. If you let me win the second event, it’ll be a tie, and they’ll have to listen to us according to the French rules I hadn’t mentioned before. 

I don’t know if I can trust you.

Trust me, mademoiselle. Trust this stinky French heart.

Alright. Kiss me.

Do you want me to kiss you?

Yes. Give me a French kiss.

Here it’s just “a kiss”, stupid

Welcome to the second competition!

This is the most fabulous competition! It’s the racism competition!

That’s right, Cat Noir! And for those stupid Americans who don’t know what we’re talking about, in this competition, participants are given a total of 30 minutes to deport and catch as many immigrants as possible.

Everything is allowed: from making up crimes to blackmailing! 

Each Muslim is worth 5 points. However, participants can get extra points from hate crimes against Muslims, Black people, Latinos, members of the LGBT community, and fans of Emily in Paris!

Let’s watch the racism competition!

We apologize for the technical issues. Cat Noir had a fanatic episode. 

It was amazing! With a great lead, our winner, Arturo, was victorious. So we’ll have to call this a tie. 

Oh! For the first time in more than ten years, we’re getting some words from our ten French emperors!

Stop!

There… won’t be… a tie!

This decision will no longer be postponed. 

 Declaramos abierto el duelo final.

And it’ll happen right now.

Because I love Queen Marie Antoinette.

The final duel…

It’s the fight to the death with baguettes!

Good luck! And may the Frenchest win. Yes. Oui. Oui. Oui.

[Elmo]

Part 3: destiny

Fight to the death with baguettes?!

Fight to the death with baguettes?!

Fight to the death with baguettes?!

I think there’s gonna be a fight to the death with baguettes.

What? Fight to the death with baguettes? What’s that?

Oh, fight to the death with baguettes. I’ve heard about it. I think they’re gonna fight to the death… with baguettes.

[gasp]

Johanne: I don’t want to fight to the death with baguettes with you.

Arturo: Neither do I, but we have no choice.

J: Yes, there is. Haven’t they considered that this is wrong?

No!

Arturo: Papa Johns!

Papa Johns: I pitted your families against you with a little help from whom you love the most… your butlers. 

Arturo: Chofls!

Johanne: Wigles, why?

Wiggles: I’m sorry, madame. I need the money, and you haven’t given me raise in 25 years. 

Papa Johns: I’ll destroy you so the greatest French food gets recognition: French fries!

Johanne: You’re losing a lot of wine.

Johanne: you have a rat on your head!

Papa Johns: this tiny chef taught me his secrets, and I used them for evil. 

Wigles: I think I got Stockholm syndrome due to so many years of labor exploitation.

And that’s how we got away from the bad guy, Mr. French ambassador. 

Controlled by a rat… The nightmare of every French. Ladies and gentlemen, that’s how Johanne Sacreblue and Arturo Ratatouille restored the glory of France. What a captivating story you’ve brought us, full of pain and social commentary. Is there anything else you would like to add before we run out of funds?

Well, actually, yes. As many of you know, I went to Mexico, and my fellow Mexicans asked me to bring a gift to France when I came back, and what a better person to give it to than the ambassador? 

Oh, what wonderful surprise have you brought from Mexico? Could it be some wonderful Mexican tortillas?

Wait… Is that-

Yes, a cake. Un gâteau. 

[Credits]

And that’s the story of how your parents saved la France.

Thanks for telling me these stories, grandma.

My grand-son. My grand-son, a boy…

[sigh] 

♫

Tito, my grandson Tito (translator’s note: another rhyme that got lost in translation. Sorry again). Tito, tito. My grandson Tito. 

You smell like frog legs in the morning.

You smell like you haven’t showered in weeks. 

You smell like a moldy baguette.

You smell like the omelette that I ate. 

You smell like cheese. Smelly, smelly!

You smell like your grandma.

Tito, Tito, Tito, my grandson Tito. 

You smell like snails. You smell like escargot.

You smell like France. 

[kathaynesart]

RECOMMENDED MUSIC: Boom Goes the Donnie-mite (Mikey/Donnie/Raph vs the Sweeper) - "The Red Zone" by Mitsuoto Suzuk

Finally! This big ol' update is out! Thank you everyone for your patience. Hopefully the next one will be much sooner since I already have parts of it drawn out. We're nearing the end of... uh, lets just call it the "Holiday Special."

BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT MASTER POST

Also couldn't get this out of my head as I was drawing this update:

Mikey's Ninpo:

Donnie's Ninpo:

Anyways, have some long winded deep dive into Donnie and Mikey's powers below the cut:

Mikey and Donnie are interesting because I feel these two are the ones who truly reach the full potential of their gifts. Mikey isn't there as of yet in the story but he will be by the end of Replica. Where as Leo and Raph had a lot of other things to focus on (leading, planning, and dealing with colony drama), Donnie and Mikey took the time to really focus on themselves and their abilities, choosing to distance themselves from a lot of the drama that the leaders of the family have to deal with.

Mikey's Ninpo

I always found it interesting how Mikey's weapon (the kusari-fundō) seemed to be the only one that had an actual entity within it. While they never address it, it's obviously some sort of flame demon/spirt. It could also help explain Mikey's dramatic increase in strength knowing that the spirit of his weapon is literally able to help him lift boats and buildings. I like to think that Michelangelo formed a connection with the spirit, especially since he looked so crushed when the Shredder destroyed his weapon in a way that none of the other brothers had.

Shortly after the victory against the Shredder I imagine he comes across his destroyed weapon in their old lair (probably while they're gathering thing to move to their new home) and he can still feel the sad little remnants of the spirit clinging to life in the broken object. I feel this would be the turning point that would lead to Mikey's first dip into the mystic arts. He would bring the weapon back to Barry for guidance and Barry would explain that the spirit has been bound to the object for so long that it can no longer survive on its own. Normally it could be bound to a new object but in it's dying state it would not be able to attach properly.

It is Mikey who suggests that maybe if it was bound to a person rather than a inanimate object then maybe the person could help the spirit survive. Barry admits the reasoning is sound and after much coercing finally helps guide Mikey through the steps, allowing the fire spirt to bind itself to Mikey's being (think something similar to Howl and Calcifer in Howl's Moving Castle, sans the heart losing). At first, not much seems to comes of the union. The spirit is still too weak to be able to do much of anything, but over time it regains its strength in tandem with Mikey and is able to gift him with similar abilities, becoming an integral part of Mikey's arsenal as well as a new spiritual connection to the Hamato family line. That is what we get a peek of here in this chapter.

Donnie's Ninpo

Just as Mikey canonically will go through a sort of mystic and spiritual enlightenment, Donnie too will have a similar scientific revelation. It always bothered me in the movie that his "firepower" (guns, missiles, etc) never seemed to be very effective, or at least not as effective as his ninpo designed physical constructs (such as the jet packs and the giant drill he uses on both the Krang and the Shredder). I believe this is because with physical constructs like a drill he has a sense of the weight and velocity needed to understand how hard it should hit. This properly visualized weight and damage is then made into reality.

But it's different with firearms and bombs. Up until the movie he really doesn't have a lot of real world experience around artillery and projectiles outside of what he sees on the internet and film. He does not know how a megaton bomb should feel or even the damage a bullet can create. And don't get me started on the the imaginary ray guns he uses on the Krang that don't seem to even leave a scratch. Without proper knowledge it's all just a light show. Very flashy, but not very effective.

When he realizes this it comes as a heavy hit to Donnie early on in the war. ...However, if there's one thing he is going to be exposed to in this bad timeline it's weapons of all kinds, even mass destruction. He will know exactly how it feels to get hit with a bullet, the blast of a projectile, and even an atomic bomb. He will then take this real world knowledge and recreate it in the same realistic way he can recreate his battle shell or drill staff. It takes a lot of work, sweat, and literal blood but this exposure to the worst of mankind's creations will help make him a walking encyclopedia of destruction. Over time, he will no longer need to make actual constructs of "bombs" or "bullets." He'll be able to simply create the pure raw power desired, no radiation or nuclear fusion needed. That's exactly what we see here.

We also see his use of shields, which is just as important as his ninpo arsenal. Specifically his ability to create shields to contain his own blasts, dramatically reducing the collateral damage from his own weapons of mass destruction. This makes him highly effective at taking down large enemies, but the shields sap his strength even more than the weapons (for it is easy to destroy, but hard to protect and preserve). This makes him often times a liability. He's often a sitting duck after pushing himself too hard and it can take him a decent amount of time to build these heavy hitting bombs. It's a double edged sword to be sure.

NOTE: these are stories I do plan to address further in my Patreon, with proper illustrations, but I wanted to give a little taste of what to expect! Haha. Very soon....

[yok00k]

pensándote

pairing: yandere!bf!jk x reader

genre: angst, smut

summary: your boyfriend is getting more and more possessive and it's starting to affect your relationship. however, he's willing to change for the better. or you thought so.

warnings: MATURE- shower sex(rough), videotaping, jk hits it from the back, oc called jk 'daddy', ass smacking, cheeks were getting clapped, mentioned lots of sex positions, oc got slutted out, jk is lowkey/highkey toxic, sick, and unhealthy, toxic relationship, attachment issues, argument, jk is a stalker w ill behavior/action, [still in denial], open ending[there might be a next part, depending on how rough life could be], not proof read bc writing this is a silly little hobby

word count: 1,611

a/n: ho i’m back and better than ever!!! note that english is not my first language and I write for funsies>..< (this ff is inspired by rauw's pensandote) — to those who knows a lot of reggaeton bangers plz hmu for recs thx

-Llevo to' el día pensándote

“baby wait up” he calmly pleaded, trying to catch up to you. still, you continue to ignore him.

It was about to be 3 a.m. when you and you boyfriend arrived to your apartment from a girls’ night. you and your homegirls planned to have a night out to have let some loose and have fun, lots of drinks and men hitting on you being involved of course. living the city night life has been the part of your lifestyle. however it doesn’t play a huge part of your life anymore. barely anymore since you’ve established a romantic relationship with jeongguk– your suitor for six months. 

you and jeongguk had the same psychology class last year. oftentimes in that class, you’re either too tired from work or still have a hangover from the party the night before. same parties he goes to just so he can see a glimpse of you from afar, trying his best to see the best view of the entire party while trying to manage being lowkey. 

fortunately, jeongguk, who’s sitting next to you in class and also can’t help but to shift his undivided attention to how you’re struggling in some works in class. as a straight A-student and a gentleman, he frequently lends you his notes and offers you help. why? because for some  strange reason, he cares for you. 

well maybe the care is turning into an obsession. but jeongguk keeps telling himself that he’s being harmless. he simply wants to know.  he’s seen you always go out with your close friends, never with any man. on the days you’re not partying, you pick up extra shifts at a nearby coffee shop. how did he know? luck. just happened to stumble upon the shop one day. he swears it’s all coincidence. 

or at least he hopes so. 

you started to see him so often. at your work, parties, gym, or at the grocery store. again and again that you began to think that this might be destiny. each time you see him, he’s always by himself. minding his own business (or make an effort to seem like it). and it made you a little curious. how come this man doesn’t have any hoe or friends around? you frankly thought ‘maybe just his lifestyle’. one day he finally gets out of his comfort zone and asks you if you would be interested to get to know him. obviously, you’d like to know who he truly is. right?

fast forward after courting you for six months, here you are. coming home from a party with him following behind you. 

you would think that he’s going to stop. it’s unexpected and extreme for what he’s about to do next. 

and there he is, both knees on the ground. his large palms reaching for your cold hands. kneeling before you like a desperate man he is.  He knew exactly what he'd done. “please, let’s fix this”

he used to be fun. less controlling. less obsessive. less possessive. 

“oh now you wanna acknowledge the problem?” you scoffed, finding his sudden behavior ridiculous. “fix what problem? you constantly getting overly possessive and manipulative or you just randomly showing up at the party while me and my friends are in the middle of having fun? for fuck sake Jeongguk, let me fucking breathe for once.” 

you’re beyond frustrated. the upcoming finals have been stressing the shit out of you and all you need is some space to relieve stress. 

“baby, you know I’m just making sure that you’re saf–” he starts off with the excuse he always says, but you’re too quick to call him out. “following me to make sure I’m safe? you’re suffocating me.”

he has no response. he knows it’s true. he’s aware of his excessive actions. no, more like impulses. a thing he can’t control. an itch.  jeongguk can’t seem to fight these urges when he knows that there’s lots of men out there that actively hit on you. and he’s terrified, scared that they’ll steal you from his possession as if you’re his favorite toy to ever acquire. 

“I think we should just end this. it’s becoming toxic.” you stuttered under your breath, gasping a handful of your hair as you shifted your gaze on the side. ‘he’s becoming toxic’ is what you really want to say. 

“I.. I will stop. I will change. let me prove to you that I love you and I only want what’s best for you” he cries, tears slowly rolling on his porcelain face. 

“do you still have trust in me?” 

you wanted to shake your head, say no. 

tragically, your answer is yes. but the real question is will he change for the better? 

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

jeongguk is a man of his words and kept his promise.  it had been a couple months after that night and you began to notice the changes in his actions. a huge change. 

your boyfriend stops controlling you in a variety of ways. every time you let him know that you’ve got somewhere to go, all he asks for is your assurance that you’re safe and sound. as long as you’re having the best time, he’ll fully support you to whatever it is. 

some nights that you have to study and do homework, he’d restrain himself  from spamming your inbox. he understood that you have priorities and you’ll get back to him as soon as you can. and you did.

lastly, he recently became more consistent on going to the gym. it makes you extremely happy that he’s investing more time to better himself. physically and mentally. redirecting his focus onto something that’s actually more healthy for him.

 or at least that’s what you think he’s doing.

so far, so good. you feel secure that everything is working well. your relationship is doing good. 

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

—"Tú desnuda, yo dándote"

“k-koo, right there baby” you begged as he continued to drill his thick cock into you from the back. slow and deep. and oh, raw.  “don’t stop, please.” the lewd sound of your ass clapping against his pelvis echoes in the steamy bathroom. all being captured by your cell phone held by his shaky left hand.

 video taping moments like this helps jeongguk cope with his unhealthy behaviors. whenever he feels a tiny bit of jealousy running through his veins, all he has to do is watch these videos to remind himself of what he has. 

you, in whatever nastiest positions he puts you in: doggy, backshots, against the wall, cowgirl, missionary, etc. this r-rated file collection you’ve got on your phone reminds him of the chokehold he’s got you in. yes, it’s all saved on your phone, but it’s not like he doesn’t have access through your apps and social accounts, let alone your camera roll. you’re all his. no one else’s. his. solely his. furthermore, he’ll make sure that he can guarantee himself so. 

perhaps you don’t need to smoke in order to feel like you’re in heaven right now. going for the 3rd round, your boyfriend still can’t get enough of you. 

supposedly was a quick shower right after the gym session you had with him turned into a long and enjoyable one. 

“yeah? you love getting fuck like this, huh?” his cockiness is on top of the roof, he looks down to watch his veiny shaft disappear inside your pussy just for it to come out and back. he’s got the bestest view. not even a phone camera with flash on can justify that. he then props the camera on top of the toilet, leaning against the wall as it still catches both of your filthy actions. 

seeing how much you enjoy this position– bent down in the nearest sink, one hand gripping onto his wrist while the other clutches on the ceramic white sink. the whimpers coming from your skilful mouth can alone make him bust a nut. 

when he receives no reply, the hand that helps you to stay in place snakes its way to your hair, collecting a fistful before tugging it back.  

“answer, slut” he snapped, demanding an answer from you whilst he proceeds to thrusts in and out. with your eyes rolled back, you’re barely processing what he wants from you. unable to even utter a single proper syllable from how ecstatic he’s making you feel. Indeed, you love being treated like a slut. 

in and out. in and out. in and–

smack 

 a sudden sharp pang on your ass cheek, causing you to moan loudly.  “c’mon my love, you’re still with me. right?” he asks, increasing his pace faster. rougher. 

“hmm y-yea, love the way you feeel” you desperately murmured, still clouded by the glorious dick he’s giving you. 

“m-more,” a single word from you is all that your man needs to hear to continue drilling onto you. rough yet with love. 

“almost there,  daddy” your breath hitches, still struggling to speak.  on the other hand, your words made the man pounding into you even crazier than he already is. he began to notice the signs that you’re about to reach your peak as your walls desperately clenched around him. 

he abruptly comes to a stop. pulls out completely from you, resulting in you to release a whine. 

jeongguk manhandles your fragile body, turning your body to face him. he pats the side of your thigh, insisting you to jump and wrap your  legs around his waist.

“want you to look me in the eyes when you come.” he orders, slowly penetrating into you once again, while being face-to-face with you at the same time. 

 just like his destructive actions filled with obsession, he’s not stopping anytime soon,

is he?

<want to read more? : my m.list>

[rebelssvy]

babeeeeee you have me addicted to your roommates ushi x reader fic 😭 please make more with links 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 maybe a tsukki x reader 👀 okie but also love the size difference kink showing in your fic too 😭😘👌 absolutely delish girl thank you for blessing us

FUCK yes. god YES i can.

cruel ✧.*

tsukishima x reader ₊˚ෆ

★ twt links included!!!!

⋆·˚ ༘ *

summary: you and tsuki are roomates, you go out to a party and he is just mean to you. so when you get home you embarrass him by going through his porn. smut, making out, twt links, squirting dirty talk all, male receiving head

twt links scattered in here. loved making this!!! request more babes.

of course you were overstepping. of course you had had a little to much to drink. but to be honest you were still fully aware of every move you had made tonight. it was all calculated.

you and your roommate tsukishima kei had found yourselfs at a party earlier that night. it was a friendly get together that turned into more of a party the longer it went on. sure you took some shots. but all of that was hours ago.

during the party you had been flirting with some of kei’s teammates. it was nothing bad of course. it was all far play. the music was bumping and the lights were flashing. truly it had turned into a house party. it wasn’t until tsuki had pulled you aside that your mood really flipped.

he could be cruel sometimes. a sharp mind and a sharper tongue, but he was also caring. in this moment all the lines were blurred.

whispering in your ear he spoke the words. “stop putting yourself out there your just going to embarrass yourself..” you gasped, pushed him back and left. like any sane person would. you ordered and uber walking out of the apartment complex and arrived at your shared apartment within minutes.

instead of wallowing in your pain, you created a master plan. one that was going to embarrass him so much that he would have no choice then apologize to you. you were quick to your room, changing into skimpy pjs and lacey under garments.

sure his comment hurt. but it hurt more coming from him. you liked him. after sharing an apartment with him for so long you two would laugh after his snarky comments. hitting him and telling him to treat you better in which he would reply, ‘yes y/n…’. so why did he pull you away tonight and degrade you? did he have a problem with you flirting? maybe..

shortly after you changed the locks to your home unlocked and he walked in. with his timing it seems like right after you left, he said goodbye to everyone and followed you shortly after.

“how did you get home?” he asked, taking off his hoodie and hanging it up. then proceeding to take his belongings out of his pant pockets.

then and there is struck you. your master plan.

you walked over to him, making sure you didn’t rush to fast, but just quick enough to close in on him. “took an uber..” you spoke quietly. almost to a whisper.

“huh? you what? why are you being so quiet..?” he asked tone slightly annoyed. hook, line, sinker. you had riled him up just enough.

“oh i don’t know…” you said now right next to him, back against the counter top. he stood above you. eyes linked with yours. he was obviously looking at all of you. all of you. he tilted his head to the side waiting for you to finish your sentence.

“maybe.. it’s because..” you had to sly about this. reaching behind you in a very smooth motion, you grabbed his phone into your hand. praying he didn’t notice until you had it firmly in your grasp.

“-because you made me feel stupid..!” you said sharp and bluntly pushing him on the chest with your open hand before taking quick strides back to your room. it was too late for him to realize what you had.

you were already at your door when he started “y/n! give me my phone back!” stumbling after you, you shut the door in his face. locking it quickly. he was right on the other side of the door. his knocks turned into pounds. then shortly he gave in.

“what did i do y/n… fuck- please i’m sorry just open the door.” he said pleading to you.

“no tsuki. you embarrassed me. you said i was trying to hard and i was going to embarrass myself. so now… im gonna embarrass you.” you said while a smile on your face. your mission was simple, find somthing so embarrassing that he wanted to cry, give his phone back. and he would apologize. simple.

you knew his password. of course you knew his password, when unlocking his phone he spoke again on the other side of the door. “i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have said that. i didn’t know what i was thinking…” he said softly. it was sincere, but you were going to let this end that quickly.

you searched through his phone, going to his camera roll you looked for embarrassing photos of him in his pre-teens or maybe even as a kid. but the only thing you could find were younger pictures of him and he was adorable. this wasn’t going to work, you needed somthing better.

and there is was, your knight in shining armor. an app with a big white X on it. you knew you could find somthing on twitter right? ever guy had somthing on there… so he should right..?

before opening the app you decided to toy with him. just to make this whole thing more painful for him. “whatcha got on twitter kei? anything you want to tell me before i go through it?” you spoke with a joyful voice.

“god. y/n please don’t oh my god. i’m sorry. just don’t go into that app.” he pleaded more miserable then ever. that was your goal anyways.

“sorry i’m gonna do it anyways!” you laughed. and just like that you clicked into it. it had to be here somewhere… you thought.

like a beacon in the night, the likes tab revealed all. scrolling through countless videos of porn. something inside you shifted. maybe it was the way you heard him whisper “fuckk..” behind the door. or maybe it was that you had a full visual gallery of all his kinks. but you were growing needy, and it was clear to you.

you paused on certain videos, watching them longer than others. like the way this girl took her bfs cock down her throat and the way she was all tied up. it made you think about kei doing that to you. god! what were you thinking!

mindlessly you rubbed your legs together. the sound of him behind the door made your brain go fuzzy. “y/n just stop.. please..” he whispered. you couldn’t stop. you scrolled to the next one.

the next video was of a girl get railed right next to a pc monotor. her hands scrambled over the key board as she took rough back shots. your mind flashed to the set up kei had in his room. your mind flashed to him pounding into your cunt infront of his game. you having to be al’ quiet because the mic is still on. fuck. why were you thinking this. you forced yourself to remember you were still mad at him.

the next one a girl spread her legs in a public bathroom, forced to be quiet as her partner finger fucked her. spitting on her cunt. kei would be good with his fingers, is he seriously into the whole public thing? god seriously what is wrong with you! the need for him to do stuff to you was too much. your lust was replacing every emotion you had in you.

the last one really sent you over the edge. a video of a girl getting pounded, it is only about 30 seconds. and the entire 30 seconds is of her getting fucked through her orgasm. she soaks the camera with her liquid and is moaning through the whole thing. it was too much for you.

opening the door you met face to face with a deranged tsukishima. blushed and flushed his hair was a mess and his eyebrows furrowed with anxiety. there was something else though, the way his eyes were halfly litted and the way he looked down at you were your gaze met his. you needed him. and maybe, just maybe… he needed you too.

“tsuki…” you called his name out, bringing the phone up to his chest before taking it back into your hands and unlocking it. he didn’t say a word the whole time. “i’ve never squirted before…” you admitted before showing him the video. he recognized it. it was one he watched often.

“fuck.. y/n… what do you want. i’m sorry seriously. but… is this just a game to you? to get back at me?” he asked while taking his phone back. through it into his pant pocket.

“no.. it’s just… fuck tsuki-“ you cut yourself off. to afraid to cross that line. your gaze dropped to the ground. but somthing else caught your eye. his cock was prominent in his pants. it was big from the looks of it.

“tell me what you want.” his voice rang iut in the silence. confidence surged through your body. lust was overcoming every other emotion you had. any clear thought was gone.

“i want you to fuck me kei..!” it was music to his ears. before you knew it his body crashed into yours. he grabbed your face and pulled you in for a deep kiss. you moaned into his mouth. your noises made you embarrassed.

“fuck i love that… keep moaning for me please” he begged, almost reading your mind.

your back crashed into the wall next to your door frame. his hands traveled up and down your figure. your lips worked against each other. both of you needing more.

without second thought you broke the kiss and dropped to your knees. you really weren’t one for giving head, but for him…. you would do anything.

“y/n.. you don’t have to..” he said sincerely. you shook your head no, before freeing his cock from his pants and underwear. pulling them all down at once. it was beautiful. on the longer side, with a little girth. his balls were smaller. his tip was a nude pink. and fuck- your mouth drooled.

licking the tip, but a little. he groaned, hands flying to your hair, pulling it out of the way. you then licked all of it. before taking it into your mouth. back and fourth you bobbed your head. saliva slipping out of your mouth.

you gaged once or twice but it was short lived before he was pulling you to your feet and into his arms. lifting you up off the ground he mumbled the words “need more..” before making his way to his room.

gently resting you on the bed he stripped you of your clothing. making fast work of anything you had on, which already wasn’t much. your legs were closed before he pried them open. back flat on his bed, legs spread for him to see. you leaked on to his sheets. your wetness already overwhelming. his mind went silly.

“let me…” he said bringing his hand to your cunt. he sat infront of you on the bed, slightly angled but only to see your sopping pussy at full view. you moaned when he touched your folds. curling your clit your back arched off the bed.

it wasn’t until you lifted your hips into the air that he plunged one of his slender fingers into you. “fuck~ kei-!” you moaned out. your words were his motivation. he finger fucked you with grace. until he added a second one and you were squirming all around the place.

“fuck that too much for you baby?” he toyed. you clenched down on his fingers, enticed by is words. “you like that? you like when i fuck with you huh?” butterflies filled your stomach. he was too much.

“i need… you kei please please gimmie your cock..!” you moaned out, reaching for his length. only to grab his thigh and claw at it. searching for more.

“i’ll give you more baby…” he said while flipping you around. moving both your bodies in harmony while he kissed you with heat. you moaned into his mouth until you two broke for the position change.

it was in no time that he had you all stretched out around his long length. you were al spread for him. him underneath you, your back against his chest. his words rang out in your ears.

“knew you would like this position. been thinking about doing this to you al night. can’t fucking run away from his cock baby…” he fucked his dick into you. you were lacking of control. the only thing you could do was bounce on it.

“fucking been thinking of fuckin you like this for ages. getting to whisper in your ear and play with your clit….” his hand came in contact with your sensitive little bud. you started seeing stars.

“didn’t know you would be such a slut for my dirty words.. huh baby you like that?” he slaped your cunt. your back spasmed and you moaned out. you were going to cum. it was too late to even say anything your overwhelming sensation approaching too fast.

“cum on it.” he spat out. he knew you were gonna cum. and yet he kept fucking you. his long hard cock in and out of your sopping wet pussy. his balls smacking against your skin. his groans behind your ear. fuck.

white liquid rushed out of you. tsukishima quickly rushed to rub harshly into your clit.

“fuck! ah-! kei fuck! ah~ i can’t-! stop!” your words were rushed, staggered and stuttering you grabbed onto his wrist to stop.

finally when no more seemed to come out of you he stopped his motion and set you down. laying you beside him. all your energy you once had was gone.

“see, now you can say you have squirted.” he laughed from beside you.

he was right.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:··:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:··:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

yum.

[namjooningera]

If LADS were Yanderes ♡

Characters: Zayne, Caleb, Sylus

AN: I guess I’m gonna start doing LADS content? Here’s some basicslly soft yan lad boys. Request if y’all want more (^^)

Warnings: soft yandere things, mentions of stalking. Mentions of smut in Zaynes; overstim, brat tamer zayne, shower sex. Caleb is lowkey manipulative. Not proofread

Sylus:

♡ He values your independence, however that doesn’t exactly stop him from making sure your always just a step away from him- he’s right there if you need him

♡ he always just happens to be in the area when you are. Oh you’re fighting a wanderer right now? On a mission? He’s right beside you! Plus, the faster you two finish the mission tne faster he can get you on a date with him, spending tne rest of the day together!

♡ He most obviously hates things in the way of y’all’s relationship, little pests in the way. And you never really realize when they disappear, when he comes home with just a little blood on his collar, his hands a little grimier, his eyes sharper and that smirk hanging off his lips.

♡ has a certain obsession with buying you pretty things. Little trinkets here and there because he’s a dragon. And no, of course they don’t have tiny cameras in them! He already has just Mephisto watching you- right? Just Mephisto?

♡ No, he doesn’t get jealous. He gets territorial. You two are together- bound. So who does this guy think he is? Hitting on you in broad daylight? Your little coworker. It doesn’t matter though, because the very next day you find their desk cleaned out!

♡ Sylus who watches as you see other men. Your coworker, doctor, childhood friend… he just watched and laughs. Do you truly think any of them can actually be as good as he is? Sylus is confident that once you have him, you won’t need anyone else. It’s why he lets you keep your little guy friends, because at the end of the day, he’s confident that if they became a real threat, he’d barely have to lift a finger to get rid of them.

♡ Sylus who’s extremly clingy. You find him to be.. everywhere. He’s always “in the neighborhood”, in front of your work, at your favorite cafes, he’s just.. around. And when you finally do call him to you, instead of letting him pop up to you instead, it’s like he’s in a buzzer radius, showing up to you immediately.

♡ He’s so clingy that he’ll even show up to your missions! And of course you’re confused, because what kind of “business” does Sylus have four hours away from home? And all of a sudden the hotel you booked is completely full and your sharing a room with Sylus?

♡ Even with these acts that are becoming too coincidental, his act is so cool and collected you, for the most part, believe him when he says he had “business” in these parts, or he just happened to stop by your home, because you forgot something at his base. And hey thats funny, he has your necklace in his hand. You don’t ever remember taking it off in the first place.

♡ Had photos of you- everywhere. His wallet, his nightstand, on his desk. He’s just so adorned by you!

♡ Finally, after all that quality time together- he’s elated when you finally start going out together!

♡ Of course, this is when bit by bit, his obsession starts to show more and more. Except.. it’s weird. You like it? Maybe it’s because he’s grown on you, spending so much time together you like the pest that’s Sylus- attached to your hip!

♡ So when he does suspicious things, like when the waiter hits on you- and all of a sudden Sylus needs to use the restroom, and comes back with the slightest drop of blood on his collarbone- you don’t blink. When your mean supervisor humiliates you, all of a sudden they’re demoted to the worst branch and bruised- you shrug. When you see your ex- the one whos always pestering you- in Sylus’ base one day, bloodied and tortured- you look the other way. Why? Because what you don’t know won’t hurt you. And after all, your boyfriend just wants to keep you safe.

Zayne-

♡ Zayne, your sweet childhood friend, you’re sure can’t hurt a fly. After all, he’s a doctor! He took an oath.

♡ Zayne is.. interesting to say the least. As you grew up together, you saw him as this sweet but timid boy. He had his nice moments, but most of the time you mistook his actions for mean ones because of his attitude- even when he meant the nicest things.

♡ It was almost.. annoying, knowing Caleb was always there with you. When Zayne you two were young, and he noticed your shoes were untied, letting you know so that he can get on his knees and tie them for you- just for little Prince Charming Caleb to swoop in and kneel on his knees, tying bunny knots on your cute pastel shoes.

♡ He needed.. new ways to get your attention. And Zayne was smart, he was sure he could find ways to do exactly that. He’d make snow figurines for you, trying to entice young you, so that perhaps for playtime- you’d choose him, not run to Caleb. And finally, when you do, when you tell Zayne he needs to be the dad when playing house, and you’ll be the mom- and Caleb will be the dog- everything is just.. perfect. Young him is elated. Plus he notices young, you’d be the perfect partner! So adorable and sweet, with your apple cheeks and gummy smile, he’s fallen head over heels.

♡ But you’ve grown up now, and you’re still with… him. Caleb. Even the words on his tongue die out as he feels gross just thinking about him. He’s never especially had anything against the guy- Caleb isn’t a bad person. It’s just that with you- his blood sizzles. The attention Caleb gives you, is so much more then an adoptive brother or childhood friend, his arm hung around your shoulder constantly, bickering with you and you two being in each others possession for several years.

♡ He’s scared that leaving for university will just cause you two to become even closer- but Zayne needs to. He disappears- with the thought of you still in his mind as he studies viciously.

♡ And finally, he’s back in town. As your health care provider, your primary physician

♡ And then there’s the incident. Caleb’s gone. And you need a shoulder to lean on. That’s okay, Zayne has done lots of study on psychology, he’s sure he can be your personal therapist if needed too. Or he can just be your close friend, who lets you cry in his shoulder or rant away, it doesn’t matter. He just wants you to know he’s here.

♡ And no! Caleb was his friend- he’s not happy that he’s gone! He’s just relieved. And soon it’s like a bridge has been built between you two, there’s no annoying wall separating you guys, and you finally choose him first every time.

♡ He’s also the type to coincidentally show up everywhere you go. He’s always at Akso when you need him- but somehow he’s always at the missions you go to as well? Showing up just perfectly timed at the train station where you are, for your timely three hour trip up north. Though with his aloof manor, you never really do get reasoning for why he’s always around, and most of the time you don’t care to ask. It’s nice to have your best friend with you, right?

♡ Zayne who huffs and puffs with an attitude when you call him your “best friend” to some people while out on a mission- him just tagging alone of course. For the rest of the day he’s silent, stubborn, staring out the window of the train and giving you curt nods and shrugs when you poke at him and try and prod- whys he acting so weird?

♡ You decide that perhaps he’s hungry- or he’s been depraved of sweets for too long. So you drag him to some cafe and sit him down to eat. He contently eats his tiramisu, forgetting that there’s a small percentage of alcohol in it.

♡ Zayne who whines in your arms as you drag him to your hotel room. You think this is your fault, you bought him the tiramisu after all! It’s only fair you take care of him. But all of a sudden he’s confessing to things.. thoughts.

♡ He confesses how he thinks your blouse shows too much of your cleavage, that while you walked him, he was looking down it the whole time. He confesses that at this point you might be the only woman he talks to, the only one he ever needs anyways. He confesses that he holds a grudge against you- for calling him something so ridiculous- a friend. That he wants you, wants to kiss your cute lips and memorize every part of you. To beat up the little prick who stared at you the whole train ride, to replace Caleb, To be able to hold you without precautions, to kiss you and be with you, to be in your skin- in your lungs.

♡ Nonetheless, he passes out anyways. And when he wakes up, he’s mortified. He confessed? What’s wrong with him? Your disgusted surely, by his reckless behavior, how he’s thought of you so crudely since you were small- wait so why are you sleeping next to him?

♡ his eyes travel up to your sleeping face, and he feels so many emotions all at once. You stayed. You slept next to him! You’re even holding his hand! So you aren’t disgusted? Do you perhaps.. feel similarly for him? Why else would you stay? He’s elated waiting for you to awake, watching your sleepy face while a smile adorns his.

♡ You two finally date, and he thinks he might be the happiest person alive. This is also when he starts to let go of his inner worries. After all, Zayne is a smart man, self aware. So he knew his more.. dangerous thoughts, should be contained. So why were you always pushing him? Teasing him? He felt.. on edge. It’s like you knew he had another side to him, something you were curious to see. Is that why you were flirting with that guy? That tipsy man at that dingy bar? You said you were out on a girls night so how come he caught you taking to that man?

♡ Zayne watches from afar. He knew your friends wanted to go to some bar, and yes, he trusts you, but he doesn’t exactly trust your friends. But know that trust unravels- why are you sliding your hand agains that man’s arm? Or letting him talk that closely to you? Are you testing him? Do you know Zaynes here? Or are you actually about to.. cheat..?

♡ And then that man simply touches a strand of your hair, twisting it in his fingers- and Zayne loses it. He practically stomps over- and his fist directly aligns with the man’s face, knocking him over, ice even shedding off of Zaynes knuckles. He turns to you, and with eyes you’ve ever seen from him before- dark and terrifying, primal even. He grabs your hand and your dragged out of there.

♡ Your shaking as he basically throws you into the car, buckling you in like a child, as if you didn’t know how. The whole ride home is silent, and you think “this is him, this is Zayne”.

♡ When you get home your pushed into the bathroom where Zayne strips the two of you to get into the shower, where he demands he cleans you of any filth that has accumulated on you from those pesky men.

♡ As zaynes hands glide soap of your body, rubbing it in and his scowl is deep on his, you try to explain to him you weren’t cheating- that you knew he was there. You wanted to see if Zayne.. would do anything. It was just something stupid the girls you were friends with convinced you to do when you recognized Zayne at the bar. And yes, were. You really think Zayne will let you keep those friends?

♡ “test me? Really? Do you have no faith in me as your partner?” He spits out, his hands deeply massaging the soap into your hips. “You think because I let you get away with a brat so often, I’ll let you go now?”

♡ Washing you is long forgotten when the two of you are fucking like bunnies, and your crying into his shoulder as you cum for the third time, the water still cascading down your bodies. Finishing once when he ate you out, a second on his fingers, and now a third on his cock. You whine that your tired and you understand what you did was wrong, that your sorry, even though your not really sorry, you wanted to see that side of him, he still bullies his cock into your hole, growling into your ear and keeping you pinned to the shower wall.

♡ he watches you sleep peacefully, which makes sense- you came so many times, that by the end you were shaking and crying, overstimulation hitting your body as you enter sub space and the brat in you broken. Alas, he still loves you, tending to you and making sure your perfectly comfortable before you finally rest.

♡ He’s glad that you saw this side of him, like a weight has been lifted. Even though you’ve only seen just a small percent of it, his guilt is completely gone. It’s why it’s so easy for him to now go find that man who touched you and get rid of him for good! It wouldn’t be the first time anyway.

Caleb-

♡ Caleb, your sweet childhood best friend, you can even go as call yourselves childhood sweethearts. He’s been there for you forever, for as long as you’ve both known.

♡ The yandere Caleb whos just a bit too close to you. When you were kids it was fine. Taking baths together, playing with each other, running to find each other during recess, benign possessive over each other and always clinging to one another. But now it gets weird.

♡ After all, you want your space! You’re grown, and you have friends other than him. Plus you want a romantic life! He’s been scaring away boys and girls from you your whole life, you had to sneak away from him at one point just to have your first kiss!

♡ Caleb whos head is screwed on loose when he finds out that you in fact didn’t go on a sleepover with your girl-friends, but we’re at instead a club with them.

♡ You’re dolled up and drinking, even wearing a dress he’s never bought you! He’s furious, but more saddened than anything. If he had puppy ears they’d flatten against his head and he’d let out a little whimper. Was he not enough for you? So you had to go find entertainment somewhere else? He’s been with you forever. So are you bored now?

♡ Suddenly his sadness turns into anger, but no, he’ll wait. Calculated, he watches you. He watches as you drink, as you speak with your friends, and as a boy approaches you. He buys you a drink, a cheap one Caleb thinks, and finally the boy leads you to a hotel room.

♡ It’s devastating to watch you follow him to his room, with your naive eyes looking him up and down, the eyes that should only see Caleb.

♡ Caleb goes home however, when his job is done. When his calculated colonial strategy takes over and he’s back to his preppy self, sitting back on your sofa as if he hasn’t shed blood.

♡ You come home, disheveled. You looked like you cried, your makeup down in streaks as you rub at your eyes pathetically. You crawl into a Caleb’s arms as he lays on the sofa, whining and ranting and confessing about how you lied.

♡ How you went to a club instead of a sleepover, so you could meet someone. However, when he sits you down on his hotel bed, he got a call. Leaving the room and coming back just to yell at you to leave! He looks disheveled himself, nervous even, twitchy eyes and body shaking as he screams at you. However your too distraught to notice as you scramble to leave the room, fighting tears at being rejected.

♡ Caleb shushes you, telling you thats just how men are, that’s just how people out there are. He would never do that to you, he would never say no to you, ever.

♡ He cuddles you on the sofa, kissing your apple cheeks and wiping the tears that still decide to make its way down your face. He rubs your back as he tells you it’s not your fault, it’s really not, Caleb had his fun making death threats to the boy, He lets you however whine and rant until you fall asleep. Then he’s carrying you to your bedroom, wiping your ruined makeup with a makeup wipe and going as far at strip you and put you into some comfortable pajamas. His eyes look away as he changes you, but it doesn’t stop him from taking a peak at your cute bra.

♡ He cuddles you into bed, kissing your forehead and watching you as you sleep. You’d never know that the boy who “rejected” you, is currently in a pool of acid. Why should you know? He is wants to keep you naive of his actions for as long as possible. He wants to be your sweet Caleb, the one whos basically a puppy to you, clingy and teasing, always by your side.

♡ It doesn’t matter that this wasn’t the first time he’s done something like this. One day you’ll realize it’s for your own good, and that it’ll just be the two of you forever, just as you were born to do.

[tritoch]

the other thing I find very funny about trying to write a canon compliant wol is taking all the wolship hints extremely seriously.

I don't really wolship because I'm just fundamentally not that kind of fan. But I know for those who are, the sheer number of romance hints FFXIV throws at you can be overwhelming to parse in a context where you have a preferred/intended wolship, particularly if you're not attracted to the gender the hints are coming from in the first place (a particular tip of the hat to wlw fans navigating the g'raha of it all). I've seen plenty of people write around them or write them out or be like "no aymeric was for real inviting my wol to a nice platonic zero-subtext dinner," and God bless all of you.

But it's really funny to imagine them all as all-too-real but unreciprocated or perhaps unreciprocatable. The sheer scale of it is comedy. Spoilers for all of FFXIV follow.

Oh God, the Lord Speaker wants to have dinner, just the two of us, at his family estate and not a government building. I hope he doesn't bring up his crush on me. Thal's balls he's about to bring it up—oh thank God there's an emergency. Oh no someone got hurt! Oh no it's the teenage girl with a crush on me.

Your life is a cosmic joke. You watch the Sultana get poisoned and all your friends probably die to save your life and it's kind of all your fault in some ways, I mean at the very least you should've spoken up when they gave the teenager a private army, and then the teenage boy speaks up and is like, "hey, I guess we have at least one ally. What about if we go visit that guy who is really obviously down unbelievably bad for you and wants to lick the sweat off of you." and you have to be like, yeah, Alphinaud. Great idea. Let's do it. I'll call him.

(brief interlude: also haurchefant's DEATH hits so good if you don't reciprocate. It's okay. He gets it. You're going through a lot and even if you had time to sort through your feelings maybe you're just not into him. That would be okay! You can love someone, or the idea of someone, without needing it to be romantically reciprocated. That's chivalric, even. Knightly. So he won't ask you to lie to him and say you love him as he lies dying in your arms. He's not so low as all that. But could you smile for him as you used to? That true hero's smile of yours. And you do, and he dies. And you both know he died for a lie, in a way, or a flight of fancy. And he's okay with that. Are you? Should you be? Should he?)

Then you're into Stormblood and it's like wow, okay. That last part was all high fantasy, of course there were loyal knights and elegant princes. But this is war. Imperialism. Grim business, surely there's no way—oh no BOTH handsome young revolutionary leaders seem to have a special interest in you?! And so does the Crown Prince of the Empire? Come on, man. I should get to do the whole horrors of war thing without having to also deal with this. Gaius sucked and it was weird that he let his foster daughter run around being openly obsessed with him but at least he never made it my problem.

You can't even get away from it across dimensions. Shadowbringers is a horror story about going on a teambuilding camping trip with your work colleagues for some reason except they all suddenly got really hot and they keep touching you affectionately on the shoulder and being like "I care for you and your happiness. Truly." And also you're being stalked for the whole camping trip by two old men who are obsessed with you. The false climax of the story is that the one old man tries to betray you and give a dramatic monologue about how he loves you but the two of you are doomed by the narrative and then the other old man shoots him in the back like "no actually its MY turn to betray them and give a dramatic monologue about how our love is doomed by the narrative." Then the real climax is old man #1 backstabbing old man #2 in the middle of said monologue before old man #2 dies and gives ANOTHER wistful monologue about his doomed love. Then for the patches they're like okay so we have this even CRAZIER old man who's gonna strike when you're weak and give a dramatic monolo—

and that's without even getting into the literal soulmate ghost only you can see

my warrior of light never felt more betrayed than in that scene where Y'shtola is like "haha Alisaie and G'raha have crushes on the warrior of light." Like I thought we were COOL, Y'shtola! I work here! This situation is already in such a delicate balance! Right when I got here I met Alisaie's "friend from work" who was like oh haha so YOU'RE the one she can't stop talking about and we never followed up on that because the woman died horrifically like five minutes later right in front of us! Then when Vauthry got away and we had to do all that shit with the dwarves, G'raha kept pausing every ten minutes to be like oooooh I'm so old I'm gonna die soon...at least I got to spend some time with some people who are really important to me...in fact here's what I'd tell the person who's most important to me...actually u know them really well haha. And I just had to sit there and be like wow, dude, crazy.

even in the face of apocalypse you still gotta go back in time like 12,000 years and there's somewhere there who makes you sit and listen to his story which is that the purpose of his whole godlike immortal life was to be in a throuple with you and old man #2 from the camping trip. and you just gotta sit there the whole time knowing you/your past life is the one who broke up the throuple over politics. He's like come help me harangue the old man into streaking in public, he'll do it if you ask.

then you meet and fight and kill God and you gotta turn to the team and be like hey sorry guys can you give me a sec. I'm gonna call God by her real name because we met one time for like four days and after that the promise of meeting me again was one of the things that sustained her through her millennia of suffering. Not like that but like. Idk. Just gimme a sec!

It's a relief when you finally get to Lahabrea and he's like actually I still don't fuck with your vibe. Like thank GOD.

And my WoL is very obviously dad-shaped so Dawntrail had a very specific energy for me but I understand that for plenty of people your deepening rapport with Wuk Lamat had a romantic subtext (same for Koana depending on how you read a few of his lines). And personally I think it's the height of comedy to be like, noooo, babe, your highness, I know you and your brother the king are in love with me and want me to stick around and support you emotionally through this governmental transition haha. But it's just...the cursed wineglass, babe. I GOTTA go figure out what's up with this cursed wineglass.

It's a running gag in some of the more optional content that people are like "you have an unreasonable number of hobbies and side gigs" to the WoL from time to time. But if every time you tried picking up a new hobby some new elf started baring their soul to you, you too would be like Hey Jessie (or sometimes Krile or Tataru), my good friend who is one of the only people in my life who knows what professional ethics and work-life boundaries are, any chance you need muscle on a gig on the other side of the world? Ideally with only Cid and his ex so all libidinal energy in the room is directed towards machinery or someone who isn't me?

ironically one of the only places you get a break from psychosexual obsession is the nier content

[rafesangelita]

♡ “i think i’m a little bit, little bit, a little bit in love with you.”— your ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement with rafe comes to an ultimate end when he suddenly says the ‘L’ word while he’s inside of you..

warnings: fwb!rafe, f2l, unprotected sex, praise, slight angst, confessions, mutual pining, fluff, soft aftercare

a/n: now presenting… ‘BE MINE?’ 🤍 me and ‘little bit’ by lykke li will always be locked in!!

link: VALENTINE’S DAY CELEBRATION ໒꒰ྀི｡- ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

ignorance truly was bliss.

here you were, ignoring the way your heart fluttered and ached at the sight of the man who was currently fucking you into oblivion. of course, rafe wasn’t just any man— no, he was your best friend. while you two were terrified of messing up your friendship with a label other than ‘just friends’, it didn’t stop neither of you from falling for each other, both of you resorting to sex with a bullshit ‘no strings attached’ rule that you two obviously didn’t follow. if spending your nights tangled up in each other’s sheets was the only way to be together non-platonically, then so be it.

rafe had his thumb inbetween your lips, your hand wrapped tightly around his wrist as he slammed into you at an unforgiving pace. you don’t know how long you two have been going at it, or how many orgasms you’ve had, but the only way you could describe how you felt right now was stupid. unable to form a single thought, you sucked on rafe’s digit while he lost himself, his head rolling to the side as your walls sucked him in. “h-holy shit!” his hips stuttered, a whimper leaving your lips when you felt the hot spurts of rafe’s cum paint your insides.

rafe felt the shocks of his orgasm ripple through his body, his body collapsing on top of your own as he writhed in pure unadulterated pleasure. “i.. shit— i fucking love you.” he panted, cradling your head before leaving sloppy kisses against the sensitive flesh of your neck. you sucked in a breath, his words hitting you right where it hurt. blinking rapidly, you heard your heart beating in your ears as your mind began racing a million miles per minute.

did he really mean that?

was he just talking about the sex?

what if he just said it on accident?

you couldn’t focus on anything else. it wasn’t until rafe rolled over, his lips trailing across your chest before he saw the conflicted look on your face. “what’s wrong? are you okay?” you wanted to scoff but settled for a slight shake of your head instead. “you just said you loved me.” rafe’s chest was rising and falling as he swallowed thickly, both of you looking at each other with a knowing look in your eyes.

“i know.”

rafe watched as you sat up, crossing your arms over your chest. “you can’t just say that casually, rafe..” you muttered, suddenly feeling exposed despite being naked in front of him a countless amount of times. rafe moved closer, his hand trailing underneath the plush comforter. rubbing circles into the soft flesh of your thigh, rafe sighed before flashing you a soft smile. “there’s nothing casual about what i said,” he started, “it might’ve came out at a questionable time but i meant it.” rafe met your gaze under the dim lighting of his room, the intensity in his stare making goosebumps spread across your skin.

you stayed silent, pondering his words and the weight they carried. of course you felt the same, there was no doubt about that, but to say that you weren’t scared of what this meant would be a lie. you two were entering a new kind of territory. this wasn’t just ‘friendly’ sleepovers anymore, it was more complicated than that. you had sworn off any man that wasn’t rafe, your best friend consuming every fiber of your being. little did you know, rafe had been exclusive with you since he realized he couldn’t stand to not be near you. he needed to see you, talk to you, touch you everyday.

you had undoubtedly made a home for yourself in his brain and his heart, and he had no intentions of ever kicking you out. “do you really?” you couldn’t help but ask, your fingertips finding his under the covers. rafe studied your face, engraving your features into his mind as he thought about what to say next. “i’m gonna tell you something..” he pulled you close, caging you between his arms as he traced the soft curve of your lips, “i can’t pinpoint exactly when i started feeling this way, apart of me thinks i always have, you just made it easier for me to realize it.” his breath fanned your cheek as he spoke.

“everyone on this island has their own idea of me, but you? you know me for who i really am. i’ve never had to put on a show, i’ve never had to fear judgement from you. you just get me, you know?” you felt so warm and fuzzy inside, you couldn’t help but bury your face in his chest. “i love you too, rafe.” he felt like he could breathe when that sentence finally sounded from your mouth, his shoulders relaxing as he released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “yeah?” he pulled away to cup your face as you nodded. “yeah, i just— i didn’t know how to go about something like this.”

rafe hummed in agreement, both of you looking at each other momentarily before leaning in for a kiss. once your lips touched, you felt relief wash over you; months of pent up tension leaving your body. rafe couldn’t believe that everything was out in the open now. “well, our anniversary date is impossible to forget since it’s on valentine’s day.” your heart fluttered in your chest at the proposition. “anniversary date?” you repeated. “yeah.. you didn’t think we’d be single after this, did you?” you giggled against his lips, welcoming him between your thighs again.

“no, i suppose not.”

[outislovesgoobers]

PLEASEEEEEEEE MAKE THAT POST ABOUT GUSHING/TALKING ABOUT HECTOR I NEED IT REAL BAD. I HAVENT PLAYED THE DEMO YET WHAT DO YOU MEAN YB THE POSITION OF THE VENTS. OTIS. YOU CANT SAY THAT THEN NTO ELABORATE /lh

OH THANK GOD SOMEBODY'S FINALLY GIVEN ME AN EXCUSE OKAY-

AHEM you get another thesis. Smiles evilly. Spoilers ahead for the demo, obviously <3 ALSO NSFW, because... well it's kinda unavoidable w/ Hector, he's a bit of a freak KSJADKJ

EHEHEHEEEE OKAY I'M GONNA START W/ THE VENTS FIRST BC I FEEL LIKE THATS REALLY FUN, AND THEN SOME EXTRA RAMBLES AT THE END.

*pulls out a comedically long ruler* I have so far identified seven vents in the entire house, not limited to :

Across from your desk, where he can blink sweetly at you while you work,

Dining room - surprisingly none in the kitchen! Perhaps one of the few Big Rooms (tm) where there is not a vent,

Living room, where he cannot watch TV bc of the angle, but he CAN watch YOU watch TV AKSDFJAKSF,

Downstairs bathroom,

UPSTAIRS bathroom,

Home gym, placed sort-of-opposite the treadmill,

And of course, the bedroom, in a simply precarious position KJASDKASJDA

I will let you digest and process this as you will 🫡 godspeed soldier(s), this absolutely fucked me up when I first realized it. This little freak is almost inescapable, except for the kitchen and smaller rooms (closets, laundry room).

OKIE NOW I GET TO YELL SOME MORE ABOUT SOME OTHER STUFFS >:) EHEHE.

oughhhwobuoubuogurgurb <- dying. he feels so bad about accidentally making you feel bad w/ his weirdo reaction

This moment is just so sweet to me. He keeps going after, too, talking about how he will "Make up for that, (...) I will do so much for you, as I always have" EEEEEE <3333 he's a freak but he's a SWEET freak and that's my favourite flavour of freak

ALSO! Note his vent's temperature changing depending on his mood! Ice-y for angry or upset, and steam (the love hearts!!) for when he's happy/in-love! AAAAAA!!!

I need to hit him with a car. What do you mean when you say those words you say. He truly goes on like this for a Hot Minute, about how he wants you to control him AND wants you to understand how much that means to him. Wh.

It's just really fun bc I feel like usually this Genre (tm) of character is more dom-leaning, it's so cute + funny to have one who's a massive sub!

It's also crazy that this conversation happens on the SECOND DAY!!!!! HE'S GOING WHOLE-HOG 2 DAYS IN!!!!

So funny to think about him during the evening of day one, pacing (crawling???) through the vents, being like 'okay. okay. alright. Hector, you're gonna be So Normal with them tomorrow' only to pull out THIS!!!! AAASKDJFSKAFJDKSJFSD

this isn't directly about Hector, HOWEVER I also love Fantina and this line has be going crazy.

what did she say

what did she mean

What did she huh when she wuh

Fan club... FAN club... do we think Fantina and Hector just hang out and talk about you??? 😭😭😭 is it just the two of them, or are there more??? I love these two sm. Squeezing them so tight.

I also love the pun! Like if we think about it, an HVAC is just a bigger fan!

I am not immune to silly jokes. Thank u to the devs, this cracks me up.

anyways he it LITERALLY baby and I cannot wait to meet him properly in a few weeks. Getting up on a step-stool to bite his hands.

[rivalswrites]

Hi! Could you write about how Magik, Iron Fist and Bucky would react to their s/o being jealous? I‘m so happy there is finally someone writing for Rivals😭

Jealousy headcanons

Before you read, please be warned that I'm writing based on my impressions of them not only in the game (though it's the biggest inspiration), but some of them with the movies/shows in mind too.

Characters: Magik, Iron Fist, Winter Soldier

Masterlist

I apologize for how short or long they are, I can never get them the same length even if I try😭

Illyana is someone many could easily adore at first sight. She's beautiful, strong, and a sweetheart if you're close enough to her. She attracts both men and women alike with just her looks, but most seem to back off when they get to know her attitude- lucky you! But of course, there's always that one person.

Seeing you get jealous over her is very flattering. She sees it as proof of loyalty (not that she needed it), proof that you loved her just as much as she did you. And she thinks it's funny seeing you get your boxers in a twist due to some random person she could care less about.

It’s rare for her to stop you, she loves the attention and love you end up giving her during and after the person was around. If she liked your affection before, she loved it more during these moments- your grip on her arm that sat around your shoulders was comforting.

Of course, she tries comforting you, a rough hand on yours as she told you just how much she loved you, how much you were superior to everyone around the two of you.

To her, you were the only person that truly mattered in a room (other than her brother and some friends, but that's different).

He's very, very flattered when you get jealous. It's obvious you love him, you're dating him, but to genuinely not like someone because they showed interest in him? Yeah, he'd never get used to that.

Your glare and hold on him has him blushing, leaning into your arms and trying to calm you down. Again, while it flatters him, he doesn't want anyone to get hurt or even genuine hatred to be held.

Lin is a very handsome man, so it's obvious people will look and even try hitting on him, it's common for you to have to beat people off with a stick while out on dates. Not literally, but people come up to him so much you've both decided at home dates are the better option.

He's got no complaints, obviously.

He wraps his arms around you in return and pats your back, reassuring you no one has his eye than you, and it usually helps. His quiet assurances are sweet and calming.

It's rare he shares the same sentiment, getting jealous that is. He's very assured that your relationship won't break over a random person: not to say you aren't as well.

Your jealousy makes him feel special though, in a way he doesn't often feel. He's never had a full relationship before, sure a side thing here and there, but never an actual- full fledged- relationship, and your swooning and protectiveness over him has his cheeks flushing red and a dumb little smile growing on his face

First of all, Bucky rarely goes out, you'd have to drag him by his good arm- or else he'll just detach the metal one and stay in bed.

Second of all, it's very easy to tell that Bucky is a very, very, handsome man. Guys and girls alike can find something attractive about him, and damn if you didn't know it.

If you're hanging out at a pub don't be surprised if you come back from the bar or bathroom to find someone trying to hit on him; much to your amusement that he isn't paying any attention to them. But that doesn't mean you can't get jealous.

You'll slide into the seat next to him and crawl up to his side, pulling him in almost aggressively (which he doesn't mind at all) and cradling his face, asking him if he missed you. Usually that gets people to leave, but again- sometimes there's someone who thinks they're special.

He'll play along, adding fuel to your fire and leaning all his weight on you, his arms wrapping around your shoulders and enjoying your coddling. Something about being so bored without you will be said and tends to be all that's needed to get the person to leave.

But even then, he won't let go. He'll keep his arms around you and start teasing you, laughing quietly at your show of love over him. But don't take it the wrong way, he would do the exact same thing if the scenario was vice versa.

Your jealousy over him is heartwarming, reminding him that you really do love him just as much as he does.

And he uses people flirting every time he goes out as an excuse to stay in with you, laying on you like a blanket on the couch and watching whatever show you wanted: he'd be paying more attention to you anyways.

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Taglist: @ihrtsamwinchester

I always forget to tag until after I post 😭