#triggers my nap time

[veone]

I wish I knew Russian and Cantonese so I can fall asleep to stalker and wong kar-wai films.

[sepiasys]

That fucked up feeling of waking up, having the most clarity on who you are AND HAVING GENDER EUPHORIA FROM SOMETHING THAT YOU COULD DESCRIBE AND HAVING THE CLEAREST DEFINITION OF IT,

and then forgetting all of that because someone else got triggered to front.

[heartsofminds]

help! the people in my grad school program are actually really mean and make me feel horrible about myself!

[urwendii]

Serie: Mai Mae and Ossë Roadtrip To Middle Earth part 6 / ?

Tag list: @cilil @helenvader @mamanmae @endeavoringdaydreamer @light-of-the-two-trees

It was a first, perhaps, in the history of Lothlórien, that two Maiar and a Noldo of the House of Fëanor sat at the same table than the Lady of the Woods.

Galadriel was staring ahead, her face completely devoid of emotion while Maedhros felt decidedly uncomfortable to be in the presence of his youngest cousin and actual sole Noldor survivor in Middle Earth. Mairon on his part seemed well too pleased in observing his surroundings — after trying and failing to invade the Realm for thousand of years— and finally be able to take in appreciation the fine craftsmanship of the Silvan Elves. Ossë, being his regular self, was crouched on the chair, half balanced on its rear feet and looking as if he was 10 seconds away from bursting either in songs or laughter.

"So." Said Maedhros after the stretch of silence had turned far too uncomfortable and lengthy.

"So." Galadriel replied tersely, eyes narrowing at the trio.

"We should be grateful if you were to allow us-"

"No."

Maedhros fumbled with his next word, the vowel ending up a drawn-out hum.

"I will allow you and Lord Ossë, but no Dark Lord shall reside under my protection."

Mairon pursed his lips amusingly.

"I am already within your borders."

Galadriel had an expression of someone who had tasted a particular bitter food, and immediately glared back at him.

"An unfortunate circumstance I would have prevented were it not for the disappointing lapse of judgment of some of my guards. You aren't welcomed there Sauron."

It was Mairon's turn to look sour at the ancient moniker. Ossë waved a scaly hand then, his demeanour seemingly focusing back in the present situation.

"My Lady we understand that it might be difficult after all to forgive Mairon here present but we have good intentions."

Everyone heard the loud snort and Maedhros gave Mairon a deadpan look. Trust the Maia to add fire on oil.

Galadriel suddenly stood up, her composure frosty as she stared them down, pristine white gown giving her the look of a mighty icicle in the grey afternoon.

"This is my Realm, that I have defended from you for two Ages without the help of the Valar."

"Indeed, you only had one of my rings to do so." Mairon interrupted good-natured, the cheer of his tone belied by the ominous dark in his eyes. Maedhros and Ossë exchanged an uneasy look. Now was not the place for the former Dark Lord to lose control of his temper. But — Maedhros thought drily — Artanis, as he knew her then, had never been one to back down a fight. Except that that had been some seven thousands years ago and as it was the current Noldo Princess, turned Queen of her own Realm, was more composed than in his memories.

Instead of jumping over the tables to provoke Mairon in a fistfight, what she might have done when freshly arrived in Beleriand, she simply squared her shoulders and lowered her voice to a glacial tone.

"Rings made by Celebrimbor, unspoiled by your corruption!" she hissed.

"Knowledge he only had because I taught him, you Elves are so quick to take for granted what you are offered."

"Offered? whose idea was it in the first place Annatar?"

Mairon has risen too, face flushed from anger.

"I came to you with a pragmatic plan and was only met with scorn and disdain."

Ossë looked like he was witnessing the showdown of the millennium, and was definitely gleeful to witness the argument. Maedhros was reminded of too many family arguments and too many unpleasantness.

"Enough!" he boomed in his most Eldest Sibling voice and then glared at them.

"I'd rather not revisit the memories of what you did to my nephew Mairon. For everyone's sake, let's move on from this conversation. What was done is done and there is no way to change the past. Trials and sentences have been made accordingly. We are here to ask shelter for a few days before making our way to Amon Lanc."

Galadriel remained haughty and poised, eyes never leaving Mairon. "And you will trust him in that place?"

The former Úmaia rolled his eyes.

"I have ways to keep him in check." Ossë spoke at last, eyes glittering in mischief.

"If not..." her lips curled in a frightening smile, "Do remind him of our last confrontation upon Dol Guldur."

"Have i gone formless again or is anyone going to have discussions about me as if I weren't in the room?"

In a fashion that reminded Maedhros that Artanis was indeed from the house of Finwë, she replied with a choice word in Mairon's own black speech and even Maedhros — not one faint of heart in the slightest — felt himself blush.

"You shall remain on the borders of my Lands, accommodations will be provided and you will be kept under strict supervision."

"Thank you!" Ossë exclaimed happily, wrapping one arm around Mairon's shoulder, who for his part had still been locked in a glaring context with Galadriel.

Maedhros had an suspicion the tension was just starting and it would somehow escalate to higher levels the longer they remain there.

And he longed for a nap. It sounded delightful even. The golden leaves of the Mallorn trees sang of home and he just wanted to drift in dreams made of better things.

"By the way my lady! Would you perchance know where I could find a body of water? I am parched and these two have forced me to remain inland for far longer than I am comfortable with. What a cruel device for my noble person! What a hardship that my existence must be so! What a—"

Maedhros tuned off Ossë's dramatics.

He was so tired.

[isekyaaa]

The difference between insomnia as a symptom and having a "decreased need for sleep" is that, while both results in you spending an ungodly amount of hours awake and not able to sleep, insomnia will result in a exhausted sleepy person while someone with a "decreased need for sleep" will not be sleepy or exhausted.

[screw-fandom-urls-anyway]

Tip: If get-outside-nekomatsu has wounded anyone, and she is aware of this fact, she will have an aneurysm if not given a source of affection within 10 minutes.

[tj-crochets]

Weirdly specific medical question for y’all! Do you have any advice for dealing with vasovagal syncope/a vasovagal response? I’m very familiar with low blood pressure in general*, but something about minor injuries to my hands drops my blood pressure like nothing else and today’s the first time I’ve put two and two together that it’s probably vasovagal syncope. I accidentally hit my hand against the fridge (but successfully caught the falling tube of dough!) and then had to lay down on the floor and put my feet up against the wall for a while because I got so dizzy. Walking into the kitchen and seeing me on the floor really alarmed my brother and my dad, so I’m wondering if there are any techniques I am unaware of that might help with vasovagal syncope other than laying down on the floor?  For the record, I am okay now. I was on the floor for a few minutes with my feet up, then gradually got up, went back to my desk, and had water and some salt pills. My dad and my brother both kept an eye on me until I was back at my desk, and I do have my phone with me at all times just for this kind of situation.  *I have several different weird medical issues that each separately can cause hypotension, and am on medication for it that mostly works.

[phagodyke]

venting sorry... don't want to just delete it bc it helps to get it out just ignore this post pls 👍

haven't slept much at all and feeling so sick andstressed and in pain bc my period is due and so tired its making me dizzy but i cant sleep more or ill just feel more sick and I want a hug and to cry so hard into someones shoulder but no one cares or will even come near me it makes me feel diseased they think things about me that aren't true bc I struggle so much to communicate and thry all make assumptions insteqd and no one wants to give me space to talk to them about it so I cant undo that now and its all my fault and I'm so. exhausted :-(

[cum-allergy]

..

[milo-is-rambling]

Weight talk tw I guess idk how to describe the post sorry im a little high

It’s so weird being around people who talk about weight problems (IOP) and like idk it brings up weird shit in my brain almost anxiety that I should feel bad about myself somehow like I’m doing this wrong being confident idk. Weird self doubt thing that happens when you’ve loved yourself (hmm. Rephrase. I don’t care about being fat. let’s say that.) and then you’re in a room full of people having a group discussion about how they avoid living their life in happy ways because they don’t want to become like you. But you love yourself. But everyone in your life since you were little has been dieting and talking about weight and specific numbers (someone was anxious about gaining seven pounds! SEVEN. If they saw my scale they would shit themselves. I put on seven pounds taking a big bong rip Jesus fucking Christ seven pounds. I wanted to rip my hair out.)

Next time weight issues come up in IOP I’m stepping out of the room. Like idk how to explain it cause it’s like not a trigger but I guess it is ? But it’s just so weird like the way I’m triggered makes me want to cry why does the world hate me for being fat what the fuck !!!!

[dreamofbecoming]

overwhelmed with the nagging sensation that i’m forgetting something

[malachitezmeyka]

I hate that if I have a day that's even slightly hard, once I get home I don't do things that could help me relax like take a shower or indulge in something I enjoy. No, instead my brain slips straight into endless self hatred spirals that leave me a sobbing mess

[delicateimage]

How did I sleep through the alarms I set THROUGHOUT the hour on BOTH my phone and laptop and when I was literally already nearly wide awake a couple minutes earlier, not even an hour like omg this is scary did I get possessed in sleep or… my attendance is going to be so horrible

[sapsolais]

-

[chillybuilt]

tw ed

[emeraldcreeper]

Tired of being a sad little insomniac want to keep fucking around with retroarch despite the frustrating horrors and general pain that screens cause want to be asleep so bad but even the hat man eludes me and won’t knock me unconscious the same way anymore