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2x4plank · 2 years

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I was bored during a road trip and decided to review nearly every song on the Silent Hill soundtrack. I'm not ranking them, so these are my very intelligent, unquestionable thoughts. I tried to organize them to the best of my ability but nearly every OST list is out of order.

Theme of Laura - I watched the trailer for this game and it haunted me before I gave in. And then I played it and it gave me even more nightmares. As for the song, I didn't think there was much to it until I listened to the full version. Now I realize that this song is good all over! And that riff is certainly doing it some favors.

White Noiz - It's like you're being held in the gaze of some beast you can't understand. Each note carries a certain eeriness, and is so full of something desolate. It's empty but it it's somehow filling? When you can't think, this would take up all the space in your brain. I think if this was a kind of Gatorade it'd be frosty blue or something. Why is James taking a deep breath of public restroom air?

Wishful Thinking - James is about to get pranked so hard (pranked somehow autorrected to "peamed?" what's that mean? I think my keyboard is broken). Anyway, this song sets you up for a tragic story of a grieving widower and you do get that... Just not in the way you initially think.

Forest - This plays over the most awkward conversation I ever heard. I mean, I don't know how well most conversations go in a graveyard. It very much fits the "What's going on here?" vibe you get when first stepping into Silent Hill. There's a little bit of excitement there, too. Maybe it's the sight of another human being.

A World of Madness - This is a personal favorite. I've always thought of the bubblehead nurses when I heard this song, and I don't know why. It sounds like something that would play on a late-night detective show.

Ashes and Ghost - Shoutout to my girlie the Mannequin. Love her!Anyway, this is a perfect track for being pursued and trying to lose whoever is coming after you by weaving through buildings and alleys. Null Moon - "Do I look like your girlfriend?" Anyway, this song fits Maria pretty well. The smooth strings (I think those are like...strings, maybe, I don't know music) in the background underlying this intriguing beat goes with her kinda sinister but interesting vibe.

Terror in the Depths of the Fog - There's a lot going on in here, but it doesn't feel painfully discordant. I like how the hard rock seeps into the ethereal beginning. It's kinda like...terror in the depths of the fog, or something.

Promise (Reprise) - Angela deserved so much better. This song is clandestine and tragic. Her despair comes through very clearly and there's a certain nervousness to it. Like something bad can happen at any moment, and that's not at all far from the truth. A tidbit: I forgot there was a mirror in this room and scared myself the first time because I thought there was an evil clone of James.

Ordinary Vanity - Well, when separate from the vomiting, this is a "quirky" track. It doesn't feel out of place and there's a certain comfort to it. I can't explain why.

Alone in Town - It's a perfectly good song! I just wish I had some pizza to go with it....

Heaven's Night - I was young and pretty stupid when I first played SH2, so I did not understand what was going on here. I really believed James when he said it was just a normal stage...and completely ignored the neon lights. Not much has changed about me since then. Anyway, this is a cool track but it makes sure to maintain the sense that there's still something wrong.

Prisonic Fairytale - Like a lot of early Silent Hill 2 tracks, this is pretty ethereal. If I had to describe this in one word, it'd be "unreality." The Darkness that Lurks in our Mind - This encapsulates the atmosphere of night at a medical facility. There is something so sterile about it.

The Day of the Night - lol Laura pranked someone 21 years her senior Anyway, this is just...perfection. Something about it makes me think of a princess in a tragedy, quietly reflecting on her limited choices and how nothing can really go right for her no matter what she does. She's doing that on her balcony at night btw. I can't explain why I don't get that feeling underneath the song literally titled "Prisonic Fairytale".

Block Mind - Block Mind? I find this mind to be pretty triangular. Minecraft Mind is great for alliteration. Anyway, if Hypotneuse doesn't slow down.. Magdalene - James, you don't know when they last cleaned that elevator floor. Get back up. This song really felt like you lost, but I can also imagine someone wrapping their belongings up in a scarf and tying it on a stick and slowly walking away.

Fermata in the Mistic Air - I have no idea what this title means but I love this song! It's very comfortable and dusty. My condolences to Maria though.

Laura Plays the Piano - Now this is something special. It's a great late game song, where the player has settled down and the fear factor is largely gone because you've seen all the monsters and kinda have an idea of what this town is about. It's such a serene song that's great for otherwise unbearable drives in the early morning. Of course, they're just setting you up to pull the rug out from under you.

Music Box Melody - Oh, James you got no idea. I really like this one. I feel like every horror game needs on song on a music box. Sidenote: I joked to my mother that Kendrick Lamar should hop on this track. Turns out Kendrick Lamar has a song called "Silent Hill"? I don't know what that's about and I don't think I'm finding out anytime soon.

True - Ugh... It's a very sorrowful track that goes well with one of the scariest moments in the game. It really sounds like judgement. I'll never forget James staring down an eight year-old kid before telling her he killed her mother figure. I mean, wow. Most people wouldn't tell a child Santa Claus isn't real, but James just isn't that kinda guy, I guess. Anyway, this is a banger!

Black Fairy - When did Major Depressive Disorder hop on the mic?

Theme of Laura (Reprise) - Yeah, this is exactly what I was talking about. This hurt my feelings. Angela is such a well-written character, and you really root for her... What happened at the end is understandable, in that James was not equipped to help her, and her family failed her in severe ways--but that does not make it any less sad. I find the title of this song interesting. I'm not sure if this was intended, but this being a reprise of the Theme of Laura is kind of like a parallel to Laura's largely innocent childhood and Angela's awful one.

Betrayal - Clank, clank. Pyramid Head must have broken in to the hotel kitchen. Yeah, this is "True" turned up to eleven. Not that it's necessarily better, but if that's what "judgement" is, this is execution. I guess those are kind of synonyms, but whatever. It makes me think of the original Silent Hill's industrial music, but this one is actually listenable.

Restless Dreams - Ugh. I can hear the dialogue that made me suck my teeth. James getting a chance to spend some posthumous moments with his wife and he tells her that he hated her. Of course, he doesn't totally mean it. But God, it hurt. Anyway, it's a very fitting, cerebral song and I quite like it!

Overdose Delusion - Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away. This song moves around a lot and that keeps it from being interesting. Keep laying those guitars on me!

Angel's Thanatos - RIP to James but this is a fire track! The riff in this one is to die for.

The Reverse Will - James... Maybe respect the dead--especially if you already committed a major disrespect while they were alive. This is definitely one of the busiest songs in the game, and that's not to it's detriment. It's really interesting and fun, while still being mellow enough to fit with the rest of the songs.

Dog Ending - Absolutely no notes. Love it.

Pianissmo Epilogue - It's a perfect track to end a game that means a lot to a lot of people. It just gives the vibe that you have experienced something that you'll think about for a very long time, and you'll eventually wish you can experience again for the first time. Good thing there's more than five endings

DLC Noone Love You - :( Anyway, this is a great song for long work days.

Silent Heaven - It sounds like something plunging into something else. Pretty uncomfortable, but not bad. It gets my vote.

Maria's Purpose Part 1 & 2 - Yep, I can see the exact moment when Maria opens the door and gets her sense of existence ripped away from her. RIP to her but I love this song! The second part is especially scary. It sounds like hitting a dead end and being forever changed (for the worse).

Love Psalm - I think of perfume and hot pink when I hear this. If someone broke up with you at a Bath & Beyond, yeah, this is it. Anyway, THAT RIFFFFFF!!!

#silent hill 2 #music review

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jessamine-rose · 2 years

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✿ Herbarium – Author’s Note ✿

Read Herbarium here!! ღゝ◡╹)ノ⚘

Read Fairytale here!! Σ੧(❛□❛✿)

Aahhh so first of all?? Thank you so much for all of the comments and reblogs!! I was blown away by the amount of positive feedback for my writing, and I hope that more people will enjoy reading Herbarium (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

This post is just me rambling about details in the fic, my characterization of Yandere! Capitano and his darling, and bonus content which didn’t make it into the final draft. If you want to know about the creative details and symbolism……..here you go (◞ꈍ∇ꈍ)っ

“You had long given up on wishes and happy endings. After what you believed to be the end of your tragic story, you resigned yourself to a shadow of a life with only your books and flowers to keep you company…until the vestiges of Windblume brought forth a mysterious stranger and a new ending for your dark fairytale.” (AO3 Summary)

✿ Introduction ✿

♡ Apologies for tagging you two again, but I simply can’t talk about Capitano without mentioning @bye-bye-sunbird and @yandere-romanticaa!! I absolutely adore their characterizations of Capitano due to the Beauty and the Beast vibes and themes of devotion, chivalry, monstrosity/ knighthood, etc. Now would also be a good time to credit the posts which inspired Capitano and Damsel’s first meeting and the beginning scene of ix. whopperflower <3

♡ From the start, I wanted Herbarium to have dark fairytale vibes and a twisted happy ending, hence having to churn out 10k words in order to logically explain Damsel’s behavior and backstory. (In reality, I just prefer victorious yanderes and docile darlings lol) I’m quite happy with how the ending turned out, because I’d like to believe that I successfully framed Damsel’s new life as Capitano’s darling and her descent into Stockholm Syndrome as a “happy ending.”

♡ It’s just………..dwdkndekwedneks the juxtaposition of Damsel finding love, family, and a home in Capitano versus the terrifying reality of her newfound codependency!! If I ever write a side story or short continuation to this fic, I’d like to illustrate her psychological demise from the perspective of either Capitano or another character.

♡ Also, allow me to thank @diodellet once again!! Aside from being my main consultant for Genshin lore, she also peer-reviewed the fic and offered great revision notes!! You can thank her for suggesting the nightmare montages and spicing up the beginning of ix. whopperflower amongst other scenes.

✿ Characters ✿

♡ Regarding my own characterization of Capitano, I had the most fun writing his dialogue!! His dialogue in the Harbingers trailer is very sophisticated, so I tried to translate that into dignified speech and prose-y statements. For his face, I imagine a mix of these images?? So yeahh I think he would look very impassive with a terrifying gaze and less severe scars (as Hoyoverse will probably make him more “attractive and marketable” for the game)

♡ I headcanon Capitano to be a very patient, protective yandere who utilizes both his physical strength and his intelligence as a military strategist. In addition to reading all of Damsel’s books as a means of psychoanalyzing her, he also controls her hobby/ source of escapism and weaponizes book spoilers lmao. There is a careful balance between how he uses light physical threats to scare Damsel and how he treats her in a gentle manner which portrays him as “better” than the people from her past.

♡ In writing Damsel’s personality, I focused on the comparison and contrast between her and Capitano. While she has peaceful hobbies and an aversion to violence, she is also inexpressive, quiet, and asocial; in that sense, she isn’t so different from Capitano. Her passivity and pessimism are fatal flaws which prevent her from actively seeking help or recovery from her past, which in turn solidifies her “damsel in distress” position as Capitano’s darling :>

♡ Additional notes on Damsel’s backstory!!

♡ My own name and appearance for Damsel

✿ Literary Motifs ✿

♡ Herbarium – Damsel is not the type to nurture flowers or appreciate their natural transcience. Instead, she collects flowers in order to own them completely and permanently preserve their beauty. From the start, I wanted to draw a parallel between this hobby and Capitano’s own treatment of Damsel…....yeahh idk if I was actually able to do that xD

♡ Dark/ subverted fairytales – aahhh I just really love exploring themes of love, delusion, and happy endings within the yandere genre!! It was fun switching between Capitano’s moments as both the monster and the hero in Damsel’s story. In the end, his darling was always going to be a tragic character trapped between choosing a depressing ending or a false happily ever after ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

♡ Hades and Persephone – NO BC I WASN’T ORIGINALLY INSPIRED BY THAT MYTH??!! I only included those parallels in the final revision after deciding on the name of Ceres Fames. I wanted to give the character a symbolic name, and one candidate was the Greek/ Roman goddess of hunger and famine. Except that I didn’t like how Limos/ Fames sounded, then I remembered that her opposite is Demeter/ Ceres…….yeah. It was a very wtf coincidence when I later realized the couple’s Hades and Persephone vibes, the fact that Ceres only appears when Capitano is away on missions, and the duality of the goddess Demeter/ Ceres. It also made ix. whopperflower an unintentional subversion of Persephone’s abduction, complete with Ceres’s Delusion being changed from originally Electro to Cryo (❅▽❅)

✿ Flower Symbolism ✿

♡ Idk why I decided to make my life harder by using flowers as section dividers. Anyway, just know that all of these flowers were originally chosen simply because they grow in Teyvat. There is no important symbolism regarding my choice of windwheel asters, cecilia, calla lilies, sweet flowers, or dendrobium. I just found ways to incorporate those flowers in their respective sections.

♡ At this point, I don’t think I need to explain Damsel’s parallels to/ relationship with dandelions. Roses were featured for the white/ red color symbolism, unavailability in Mondstadt, and meanings of secrecy in Genshin lore. (And if Hoyoverse later says that roses can’t grow in Snezhnaya, just assume that Capitano had the rosebush artificially planted for Damsel) Whopperflower is meant to represent Ceres’s deceit.

♡ Mint belongs to the first category but I’m giving the flower its own bullet point for this reason:: After realizing the Hades and Persephone coincidences in the fic, I recalled the Greek myth of Minthe. So mint became a fitting flower for Damsel’s moment of doubt and separation anxiety.

♡ Windblume is supposed to represent Damsel offering a kiss/ herself to Capitano. If I wasn’t able to allude to that properly in the fic, rip now you know. Back when Damsel was an OC in my imagination, she was named after a flower so the Windblume connotation was more obvious.

✿ Deleted Scenes ✿

♡ Post-kidnapping, Damsel is already referred to as Capitano’s wife. In the first draft of vi. rose, there is a scene where Capitano gives her a ring with a flower design. I ended up scrapping that scene later on, but just imagine that they had an off-screen “proposal.” And in response to a comment on AO3, I don’t plan to write a wedding scene in the future.

♡ When I was still figuring out how to incorporate roses in vi. rose, I wrote about Capitano and Damsel visiting a flower shop in Snezhnaya. There was a friendly Dendro shopkeeper who would show Damsel the roses and get threatened by Capitano but yeahhh, it didn’t feel scary enough. It was eventually replaced by the private tour of the woods.

♡ I also thought of Damsel interacting with more Harbingers, specifically Pantalone and Arlecchino. I chose Pantalone because he also experienced hardships in his early life and was denied a Vision by the gods—but unlike her, he actively changed his circumstances and didn’t succumb to melancholy. As for Arlecchino, Damsel would’ve compared the House of the Hearth to the orphanage she grew up in.

✿ My Favorite Scenes ✿

“There is not a single moment when I do not think of you or your safety,” he tells you. He reaches for your hand and intertwines your fingers. “Let these be your words of comfort until I return to you.” (vii. mint)

♡ Watch as I get f*cked over by my own writing. No matter how many times I read this dialogue, I find myself simping and feeling big-brained. If I were to ever commission an artist to draw something for Herbarium, I would definitely choose this scene Σ>―(〃°ω°〃)♡→

Then there was the Eleventh Harbinger. Capitano had attended an appointment with his fellow Harbingers—a rare gathering, apparently—so you had to wait outside their meeting place. When the door finally opened, Tartaglia was the first to leave.

“Oh? You don’t look like you work here,” he said, walking over to you. The smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Were you listening in on our conversation, little mouse?” (vii. mint)

♡ Not Childe showing up for 0.5 seconds and stealing my heart. This was one of the last scenes to be written and I think it added a nice touch to the final draft. I think Childe would be curious about Capitano’s darling but also smart enough to know his limits. Also, while Damsel’s age is kept ambiguous, I imagine her to be 28-30 years old and therefore older than Childe. That is just a random detail I wanted to mention ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

✿ Capitano x Damsel Playlist ✿

Aka I tried to listen to music during my writing breaks, only to start cursing because the lyrics kept reminding me of Capitano and Damsel. If anyone would like to recommend darker/ yandere songs, be my guest

♡ Lots of Love – Kuzu no Honkai ost

♡ Pearl Tower by Anna Evans golden folks

♡ Sora to Utsuro (空と虚) by sasanomaly

♡ 0 (zero) by LMYK

♡ Your Name by Little Glee Monster

♡

That’s all I have to say!! I ended up rambling quite a bit, but I’m truly happy that I was able to finish Herbarium and write a fic which I can be proud of. I hope you all enjoyed Herbarium and this Author’s Note, and may the Capitano agenda gain more followers ˶ づ ˊ ꒳ ˋ づ ˶

#il capitano #capitano #yandere capitano #yandere capitano x reader #capitano x reader #fatui x reader #yandere fatui harbingers #yandere genshin #genshin x reader #tw: yandere #fem reader #jessamine-writing

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lazysublimeengineer · 3 years

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the princess who protected her hero

Title: the princess who protected her hero

Summary: Because life wasn’t a fairytale where the hero always protected the people.

Characters: Hanagaki "Takemitchy" Takemichi, Kawaragi Senju, Matsuno Chifuyu, Tachibana Hinata

(A/N: I don’t own this franchise. Only this pain and angsty fic on this site that Ken Wakui probably camps at for inspiration on his tragic and angsty fate of his characters).

She slung her bag on her right shoulder and walked out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang, and their last class was dismissed for the day. Senju stared straight ahead as she walked quietly through the school corridors going out of the academy. The sun was already setting slowly, painting the skies in soft tangerine hues that lent a dusky, melancholic vibe along the surroundings.

Senju walked aimlessly. Her steps were steadfast, yet her feet don’t know where to go.

It’s been a few days since the battle of the three deities had happened.

Yet she hadn’t visited Takemichi in the hospital yet. Not even once.

Uncharacteristically, she was overcome by her own humiliation and cowardice. Takemichi’s beaten up and bruised body in front of her that day reminded her of her own failure as a leader.

She failed to protect Draken who was under her care and a great asset to Brahman.

She failed to stop the unexpected war to happen that day between the three of them.

She failed to defeat South.

She failed to defeat Mikey.

But most of all…

…she failed to protect Takemichi to whom she’d sworn to protect in return.

He protected her from that gunshots.

But what did she do?

She just watched helplessly as Mikey beat him to death unable to do anything worthwhile or useful that day.

The only thing that she could do at that moment was to kneel at him and begged for him to stop by disbanding her own gang and declaring their own lost.

If anyone will say that it was enough, she will beg to differ. She knew that no one could stop Mikey that day. No amount of reasoning could stop a beast like him who was cloying with murderous intent on people who would get in his way. And if she didn’t disband Brahman back then for sure they will be absorbed by Mikey’s gang upon their lost and she couldn’t protect the other members from God knows what they’re about to do with the defeated gang under their territory.

So, this was for the best…even if it cost her own dream of becoming the top delinquent in Japan.

She could feel her eyes glistened, but she quickly controlled and tamped out her overwhelming emotions. No. She wouldn’t cry. Not anymore.

Senju stopped in the middle of the street, debating within herself if she should visit him or not.

She tried to push her spiraling thoughts away and proceeded to walk towards the hospital where Takemichi was currently confined at. Upon reaching the inside of the sterile building, she inquired one of the nurses manning the nurses’ desk on which room he is currently confined at.

“May I ask for your name and what is your relationship with the person currently confined at room 406?” The nurse asked calmly as her eyes didn’t leave the screen of the computer and continued typing from the keyboard.

Senju hesitated for a brief fraction of second before she simply settled on a safe answer. “I’m Kawaragi Senju and Hanagaki’s friend and classmate in the academy…” Which was both true and a lie since she was his first friend who was the same age as her but at the same time was also a lie since he wasn’t her classmate in the high school that he’s studying at.

“Okay. Room 406 is located at the left hallway after you walk straight ahead of the corridor.” The nurse replied simply.

“Thank you.” She uttered as she followed her words and proceeded to walk along the corridors going through his designated room. Senju felt her nerves were fraying and her pulse skyrocketing inside her veins.

Why was she feeling anxious and nervous suddenly?

Ignoring the apprehension building up within her, she focused on walking ahead and finally stopped upon reaching the room he was confined at, staring at the room number embossed on the door.

The room was ajar, and she was about to enter when she heard voices conversing inside that made her froze and her mind went blank all of a sudden.

“It’s your fault that Draken-kun is…!” A male voice exclaimed in agony and misery before his eyes grew wide and clamped a hand towards his mouth to stop himself from saying things that he might regret later.

“I’m sorry, Takemitchy…” He muttered, unable to look at him directly.

“It’s okay Chifuyu. It’s all my fault.”

Senju clamped both of her hands into her mouth as silent tears finally escaped her eyes upon hearing those words from Takemichi’s lips and seeing his current, pitiful state for the first time ever since the terrible incident had happened.

Other words and dialogues seemed to bypass her hearing and mind as she could only stare in miserable silence on what he had become.

However, she was jostled out of her thoughts when she heard the blond visitor stood up and was about to leave his room that made her scrambled on her feet and quickly hide in one of the partitions at the right wing of the hospital that said fire exit. Senju just closed her eyes and leaned against the wall as she listened to the faint conversations outside.

“Matsuno-kun…” A woman’s voice greeted her line of hearing. “You’re going home already? I’ve just finished replacing the flowers.”

“It’s all right Hina-chan.” The male stated simply as he walked away.

Senju’s eyes flew open upon hearing the woman’s name and cautiously peeked from the partition. Hina-chan? From what she remembered about the rumors from some of the delinquents before, Hina was the given name of Takemichi’s childhood sweetheart.

She had strawberry blond hair that was currently pinned up and a soft fringe that magnify her innocent face and beautiful eyes. She looked like a beatific angel holding the vase of flowers while she observed Takemichi from the small window of his door.

The sight was like a harsh slap to her back into the reality. A bittersweet smile hovered around her lips.

Right. Her presence wasn’t needed here anymore since there’s someone who could take care of him.

And it wasn’t her.

Also, if she showed her face right of her what would she say? Sorry for failing to protect your boyfriend and his deceased comrade back then because I’m a terrible leader?

Just the mere sight of Takemichi’s deathly state inside the hospital and hearing him validating other people’s thoughts of being at fault was enough to make her stay to where she was right now, unable to face him without her breaking down in front of him because of her guilt and wretchedness.

No. She didn’t want to face Takemichi this way.

She promised to him before that she will protect him, and she doesn’t back on her promises. Takemichi was her first real friend and she’ll be damned to fail him once again.

Amid her tears that streamed down her face, she remembered Wakasa’s words to Takemichi back then at the war.

“Hanagaki. Take care of Brahman’s princess.”

“No Waka. This time it’s my turn to do that to Hanagaki.” She whispered to herself.

Because life wasn’t a fairytale where the hero always protected the people.

There came a time that the hero needs to be protected too.

And even if she’s fading in the background of his life, the princess will fulfill her goal of protecting her own hero this time around.

(A/N: Now I need more Senju flashback and content from her own point of view and not just from the other people such as Takeomi. Damn. The sacrifice she made… It reminded me of Yuzuha’s self-sacrificing tendencies to the people that they care about. My queens being in pain but growing as a character is what I live for. Chapter 234 is a soap opera drama between besties who had a misunderstanding. Reviews are amusing so let me hear them from you).

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jaskierswolf · 3 years

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Darling, gorgeous, incredible, beautiful Wolfie... my love of your Jaskilion works knows no bounds. The characterization of the beautiful bardic duo, and their snarky ways, is immaculate.

Might I request Jaskilion and the two Geralts having a foursome??? Because that has So Much Potential 💖

If not spicy, I will happily eat up some pseudo-domestic ~vibing~ with the four of them; just being silly and cute, the Geralts being amused, fond, and exasperated 💖

As discussed, this will be Geralt/Jaskier/book!Dandy... because I struggle to make the Geralts different. I mix them too much.

Geraskilion - 3.6k

Thanks to @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde for being my beta and making me cackle with her commentary.

CW: 18+ for shameless smut, threeseome, anal sex, blow jobs, name-calling (Dandy calls Jask a whore), hair pulling, multiple orgasms, coming untouched, voyeurism, exhibitionism, finger sucking, almost choking but more of a tease of it than actual?.... I think that’s it?

Jaskier stared at the man in front of him. Cornflower blue eyes blinked back at him like he was looking in a mirror. It was his eyes that were most startling. Jaskier had never met anyone with eyes quite like his before and now this man not only had similar eyes, but fucking identical. Facially they were similar too, although this… this imposter, had cheek bones that would look more at home on the elves. His whole face wasn’t too dissimilar to that of an elves now Jaskier came to think of it, and the long limbed fellow could easily be mistaken as one of Filavandrel’s brethren. His hair fell down to his shoulders in soft golden curls, like something out of a fairytale. On top of his head he had a wine coloured hat with an egret’s feather poking out from one side.

The man, Dandelion, put his hands on his hips, mirroring Jaskier’s own stance. He let out a peel of laughter, like a symphony of chiming bells, perfectly in tune and expertly rung. “Well, well, well. Isn’t this fun?”

Jaskier narrowed his eyes at the poet. “Hmm.”

Geralt grunted as he stood up from his corner. “Who are you really? You’re not human, my medallion-”

“Oh come now, Geralt. I’ve just apparently jumped into a whole new world! I can’t even begin to fathom the magic needed to make such a jump, not even that sorceress of yours could do it. In fact, I think I’ve only ever heard of Ciri successfully managing…” Dandelion trailed off and his tongue flicked out to lick his lips. “How old are you?” he asked Jaskier haughtily, peering down at him with piercing blue eyes.

“What the bloody hell has that got to do with anything?” Jaskier scoffed.

“Do you know Cirilla?”

Jaskier quirked an eyebrow and glanced at Geralt who just shook his head. “No,” he admitted.

“I didn’t think so,” Dandelion muttered, clicking his tongue. “My point is, my dear witcher, that I’m probably covered head to toe in residue magic. There’s no wonder you medallion is vibrating. Maybe your world’s magic can sense that I don’t really belong here. Fascinating, utterly fascinating!”

“You really think you’re me?” Jaskier asked, still not trusting this arguably very attractive stranger.

“But of course!”

Jaskier grinned as an idea came to mind. “Prove it,” he said, chin raised in a clear challenge.

Dandelion smirked and Jaskier recognised the glint in his eyes. “Oh, and how would you propose I do that, little buttercup?”

“You’re me?”

Dandelion nodded.

“Then you know exactly how I like to be kissed.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt groaned but Dandelion shushed him with a wave of his hand, long elegant fingers dancing in the air.

“No no, he’s got a point, my dear,” Dandelion giggled.

“It’s a bad idea,” Geralt tried again but both bards shot daggers in his direction. The witcher sighed heavily and pressed his fingers to his forehead.

“All the best ideas are very bad ideas,” Jaskier agreed. His heartbeat was starting to pick up, the thrill of seduction and the promise of a willing bedmate for the evening starting to send tendrils of lust through his body.

And come on, who else got the opportunity to fuck themselves. It would be a tragic waste if he let the opportunity pass him by, and curiosity was truly his greatest folly. He really did want to know if this man shared his own weaknesses when it came to carnal delights.

Dandelion stepped forward, his breath tickling against Jaskier’s cheeks, and the scent of wine and lavender oil washed over him. He wondered if he would be able to taste the wine on Dandelion’s lips. Dandelion’s fingers brushed against his wrist, a featherlight touch that danced across his skin, like leaves on the wind. Dandelion’s tongue swiped along his lips, making them look wet and so very kissable. Jaskier swallowed, he felt as if the rest of the inn had melted away. All he could see was Dandelion, all he could smell was Dandelion.

“You really are stunning, my darling,” Dandelion breathed, a whisper, an almost silent prayer.

Jaskier’s own breath caught in his throat. The fucker was even more charming than he was, he hadn’t been expecting that. He tried to stammer some witty response but he wasn’t even sure whether he even managed a single sensical word. Dandelion’s long finger trailed under his chin, his thumb brushing Jaskier’s bottom lip.

Fuck.

“Can I kiss you?” Dandelion asked, the tension now so thick between them that Jaskier honestly thought he might melt under the heat of it. He wasn’t used to being seduced like this. No one had ever needed to charm him this hard to woo him to their beds.

He nodded, not trusting his voice, and Dandelion’s lips were finally on his. The kiss was chaste, a tease of what was to come, leaving Jaskier weak and wanting. He chased Dandelion’s lips as he pulled away, eyes fluttering open.

Oh cock.

He swallowed, mouth dry as his heart thundered in his chest. He let out a low whine and Dandelion laughed before cupping the nape of his neck and pulling him into a second kiss. This time there were no hesitations. Jaskier eagerly explored Dandelion’s mouth, the rich taste of wine dancing over his tongue. Dandelion’s hat fell to the floor as Jaskier’s hand threaded into the soft golden curls, he tugged experimentally at Dandelion’s hair, and wasn’t surprised by the guttural moan the poet let out.

“Oh fuck,” he whined in between kisses.

“Upstairs, now,” was all the warning they had before they were torn apart and Dandelion was thrown over Geralt’s shoulder.

Jaskier’s eyes widened as Geralt stormed off up the stairs without evening looking back at Jaskier. “Oi!” he called after them, tripping over his feet as he stumbled after them. “Geralt! Darling I wasn’t finished!”

Jaskier fell into their room in his eagerness. Dandelion was lying pouting on the bed, and Geralt had settled into an armchair in the corner on the room. Jaskier felt a rush of arousal as he recognised the set up.

Geralt was going to watch.

He met Geralt’s eyes across the room and quirked an eyebrow in a silent question. Geralt nodded, his hand already palming himself through his trousers. Jaskier half wanted to fall to his knees in front of his witcher and get his mouth on that monstrous cock.

But then Dandelion was right there on the bed, already looking debauched. A temptation that Jaskier just couldn’t resist. In the time it had taken Jaskier to follow them upstairs Dandelion had unbuttoned his doublet, revealing an expensive lacy chemise underneath. He looked like a fallen angel.

“I trust you don’t mind the company?” Jaskier asked with a tilt of his head.

Dandelion scoffed. “It’s as if you don’t know me at all. Get over here and kiss me, you tease!”

Jaskier didn’t need to be asked twice. Pulling off his doublet as he went, he crawled over to where Dandelion was sprawled out on the bed. He ran his hands up the inside of his chemise before pulling him into a kiss, a mess of breathy moans as their tongues danced. Jaskier managed to elicit the most gorgeous songs from Dandelion’s lips, fingers pinching at his nipples. They may be strangers but Jaskier knew Dandelion’s body better than he knew his lute. He knew exactly which strings to pluck to draw out the most sinful melodies. Dandelion was a writhing mess underneath him before he even managed to undress him, kissing at his neck and biting bruises into the soft pale skin.

“Jaskier,” Geralt growled from the corner.

Jaskier stopped his attack on Dandelion’s elegant neck and glanced up at his witcher. Geralt’s eyes were dark with hunger, his cock now red and glistening his hand, and Jaskier moaned at the sight. What else was a bard supposed to do when he was just so weak?

“Yes, darling?” he asked, his voice low and sultry.

“Let him up,” Geralt said, already sounding as wrecked as Jaskier felt.

Jaskier pouted.

“He’s supposed to be proving how well he knows you, not the other way round,” Geralt explained softly.

Jaskier grumbled, biting Dandelion’s neck one last time before letting the poet up. Dandelion grinned as Jaskier rolled off him, and quickly straddled Jaskier’s waist, pushing him back onto the bed.

“You like being in charge just as much as you like being manhandled, don’t you, sweetheart?” Dandelion cooed, his fingers brushing along Jaskier’s cheek. Every touch sent shivers down his spine. He could feel the electricity between them, a hot wave of arousal with every moment of contact.

“Lucky guess,” Jaskier winked, moaning as Dandelion wrapped his hands around his throat. It wasn’t enough to choke him but the knowledge that Dandelion held him such a vulnerable position thrilled him, adrenaline mixing with the heady sensation of lust.

“Not a guess.”

Dandelion’s fingers gripped tighter at his throat as he rolled his hips forward. He could feel the poet’s erection through both their trousers, it was so close and yet not nearly enough.

“Dandelion,” he whined, “stop teasing, darling, please.”

“Patience, love.”

Dandelion’s lips captured his, a messy kiss as their bodies moved together, humping like fucking teenagers. Dandelion kissed like a dream, yet looked like the very definition of sin. He was tantalising, a temptation from Lillit herself.

And he was wearing far too many clothes!

“Off!” Jaskier snapped, tugging at Dandelion’s doublet.

“So demanding,” Dandelion sighed dramatically, but he pulled off his doublet and threw it at the armchair. Jaskier watched as Geralt caught it in mid-air, one hand still lazily stroking his cock.

Jaskier whimpered and pulled at the hem of Dandelion’s chemise until the poet yanked it over his head. Jaskier’s own shirt swiftly followed, landing on the floor in a heap. After that it was an awkward dance of removing their trousers and small clothes whilst desperately trying to keep their lips on each other, and, not a moment too soon, they were finally naked. Jaskier’s could barely resist rolling them back over and taking Dandelion’s cock in his mouth but Geralt preempted his move and let out a low growl. Jaskier tossed his friend a frustrated look.

“Geralt,” he moaned.

Dandelion just laughed, running his fingers along Jaskier’s lips, gently pressing them into his mouth. Jaskier whimpered, sucking at the long digits, swirling his tongue around the tips. It wasn’t as satisfying as having a cock in his mouth but it was enough for now.

“Good,” Geralt hummed, the praise making Jaskier’s cock twitch even though it wasn’t meant for him.

Dandelion preened, looking like a cat that had gotten the cream. His soft blond curls were a mess, and his face was flushed but it was his eyes. Gods, his eyes were almost black, only a thin blue ring visible. Jaskier moaned around the blond’s fingers, taking them further into his mouth.

“Gods, look at you, pretty little whore,” Dandelion cooed and Jaskier felt a rush of heat prickle over his skin. His cock was aching, desperate for touch, but Dandelion acted as if it didn’t exist, happy to just watch Jaskier suckle on his fingers.

It was driving Jaskier mad with lust.

The bastard really did know exactly how to destroy him, with the least amount of effort.

Jaskier whined, bucking his hips off the mattress in what he hoped what a clear sign of what he wanted, nay, needed. Dandelion pulled his fingers from Jaskier’s mouth, and immediately he felt empty, a pathetic whimper escaping his lips.

“Geralt, darling, do you have oil?” he heard Dandelion ask through the heady feeling that was making everything a little foggy.

Jaskier pouted as Dandelion shuffled on the bed, reaching towards the witcher sat in the corner of the room. He licked his lips as he watched the small vial of oil pass hands. He wriggled on the bed, his hands reaching down to touch his cock but Dandelion was back and swatting away his hand before he had a chance.

“Not yet, sweetheart, if your good I’ll touch you later, can you be good for me?” Dandelion asked in the sweetest voice, like honey trickling over his skin.

He nodded, tongue feeling too heavy in his mouth.

“Am I doing well, witcher?”

“Hmm,” Geralt’s reply was a low growl more than anything else and the sound went straight to Jaskier’s already leaking cock.

“Lion… please…” Jaskier whined.

Fuck, he sounded wrecked already. It normally took more to make him lose control like this. He looked over to Geralt, and the sight was nearly enough to make him cum. The witcher looked obscene, lips wet and red from where he’d been biting on them, fulling clothed except from where he’d unlaced his trousers, cock proudly on display. Jaskier wanted him, gods… but to have Geralt’s attention like this, trapped under his dark and wanton gaze.

Fuck!

He didn’t even hear the pop of the cork, too distracted as he watched Geralt lazily stroke his erection, precum already leaking from the tip. Jaskier licked his lips in reflex as if the action would allow him to taste…

He hissed as Dandelion’s finger teased his rim, arching his back, a familiar pull in the pit of his stomach. “Fuck!” he gasped as cum coated his belly, embarrassingly early but Geralt’s growl and Dandelion’s chiming laughter put him at ease.

“Oh darling,” Dandelion trilled, a finger trailing through the mess on his stomach, and then moaning as he took the digit into his mouth.

Jaskier groaned, if he hadn’t already cum then he would have done then. Judging by the wink Dandelion gave him, the whore knew exactly what he was doing, bastard. “What do you think, Geralt, shall we continue our little game?”

Jaskier glanced over to Geralt, a pleading look in his eyes. Yes, Dandelion had proved himself. Yes, Jaskier had already cum. No, he wasn’t satisfied. There was still an emptiness that left him feeling weak and wanting. He needed to feel full, needed a cock up his arse, in his mouth… just somewhere.

Geralt nodded. “We’re not finished yet, poet.”

“As you wish, witcher.”

The finger that had been gently teasing Jaskier’s hole pushed in. Jaskier gasped, still feeling sensitive from his orgasm, but Dandelion was more in sync with his body than any other lover, even Geralt. The blond took it slow, gently working his finger into Jaskier until his cock began to harden once more. He was panting by the time a second finger pushed inside, just as he was about to beg for more. Good gods, Jaskier was going to ruined for anyone else.

“Stop,” Geralt’s voice rumbled from the corner.

Jaskier huffed and managed to prop himself up so he could glare at his witcher. “Oh for fuck’s sake,” he groaned as Dandelion pulled out all his fingers. “There’d better be a bloody good reason for the interruption, Geralt!”

Geralt smirked and got up from his chair. “Mind if I join?” he asked, looking more at Dandelion than Jaskier.

The poet visibly brightened, his tongue flicking out to lick his lips. “Oh ho ho! Geralt, my dear, please be my guest. The more the merrier!”

Oh gods, Jaskier was doomed, completely done for.

Dandelion whispered something in Geralt’s ear, a flushed smile on his lips. Geralt’s eyes flashed dangerously to Jaskier and he nodded once before pulling off his clothes until he was deliciously naked, and Jaskier wanted to lick the lines of his muscles, kissing every scar until the memory of the battle had been replaced with Jaskier.

But Geralt had other plans. Dandelion pulled at Jaskier’s ankles until they were wrapped around the poet’s waist, and Geralt straddled Jaskier’s torso. Jaskier swallowed as he was left to stare at Geralt’s rather lovely cock, so tantalisingly close to his lips. His eyes flicked up so he could meet Geralt’s gaze as he licked his lips.

“Geralt?”

“Yes,” Geralt growled Jaskier whimpered as he lunged forward greedily. He wrapped his hands around the base of Geralt’s cock, whist he could take Geralt down his throat, he preferred not to. He was a bard after all. He really needed to take care of his voice, and deep-throating a witcher’s cock was not advised.

Although his professors at Oxenfurt had also never specifically told him not to.

That was one thing he’d learnt from experience. So instead he licked at just the tip, lapping about the precum that was already there. He hummed happily as he sucked around the head, working the base in his hands, the skin already slick from oil where Geralt had been stroking himself. It smelt like the chamomile oil Jaskier preferred to use for massages, he idly wondered whether it was the same one Dandelion had used whilst stretching his hole.

As if reading his thoughts, Dandelion pushed his fingers back inside Jaskier’s arse. He moaned around Geralt’s cock, taking the witcher deeper into his mouth. The weight was heavy on his tongue and with Dandelion’s fingers probing his hole… the aching emptiness was finally gone. He whined as Geralt’s fingers threaded into his hair, scraping at his scalp.

He closed his eyes, sucking and moaning around the cock in his mouth in time to Dandelion’s fingers fucking his arse, but it quickly began to leave him feeling dissatisfied again. He wanted more, so much more… always more.

“Hnnng,” he choked out around Geralt’s cock as the witcher held him in place, fucking into his mouth with shallow thrusts.

“Good,” Geralt half growled, “so good for us…”

“Hmm…” Jaskier whined.

“I think he’s ready for my cock now,” Dandelion hummed thoughtfully, pushing his fingers deeper into Jaskier’s arse, right against his prostrate.

Jaskier thrust up, moaning as much as he could around Geralt’s cock, trapped under the weight of his witcher. His fingers dug into the meat of Geralt’s arse. He couldn’t even beg for more, but he tightened the grip of his thighs, hoping Dandelion wouldn’t get the message. With a choked gasp, Geralt pulled him off his cock. Jaskier whined at the sudden emptiness of his mouth, pouting up at Geralt with wide eyes.

He was almost surprised by the fondness in Geralt’s gaze as a calloused thumb stroked his cheek. “Still good?”

Jaskier nodded and went to mouth at Geralt’s cock but he was pulled back again, a sharp tug at his hair.

“Words, Jask.”

“Yes, now let me suck your cock, witcher,” he grumbled, a happy sigh escaping his lips as he was finally allowed to take Geralt back into his mouth.

“Needy little brat, isn’t he?” Dandelion giggled.

“Takes one to know one,” Geralt replied, his breathing starting to hitch between words… fucking finally.

The bastard had far too much stamina. Although, Jaskier did love to take his time in worshipping Geralt, so he really shouldn’t complain. He hummed, flicking his tongue around the tip of Geralt’s cock, his fingers teasing Geralt’s rim. He almost regretted not slicking up one of his hands so he could properly tease his witcher, but instead he kept one hand on his cock, twisting his wrist as he bobbed his head.

He whined, head falling back against the pillow, as Dandelion pushed into him. It was tortuously slow. He could feel every inch of the bard’s cock as it filled him. Geralt’s hand cupped his cheek, thumb brushing along his lips. Jaskier whimpered as he sucked on the digit. It was a poor substitution for the witcher’s cock but he needed to adjust to the feel of Dandelion. Gods, it felt heavenly.

He had truly been blessed on this day.

“Fuck, Gods, Geralt….” he babbled, words muffled around the thumb that was still pressed between his lips.

“Thank Dandelion,” Geralt hummed, a quiet but firm instruction that made Jaskier feel all dazed.

Jaskier barely managed to gasp out his thanks to the poet. Dandelion had begun thrusting into him, finding his prostrate with ease, because, well.. of course he did.

Fucking yourself really did have its perks.

“Ger…” Jaskier panted but he didn’t have to finish his pleas because Geralt’s cock was already back in his mouth. Jaskier moaned loudly. He couldn’t even reach round the witcher to touch his own cock. He wasn’t sure if he could cum again untouched, every nerve ending felt like it was on fire, and his cock was aching. He needed more, he needed to cum, he needed…

Fuck!

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Dandelion grunted as he finally wrapped his long fingers around Jaskier’s cock, every thrust still blinding him with pleasure.

Jaskier came almost instantly, clenching around Dandelion cock and choking around Geralt’s. He collapsed back onto the bed, tears streaming down his cheek, feeling utterly fucked out. He might have blacked out for a few seconds, he wasn’t sure, but the next thing he knew, Geralt’s cum was splattered over his chest, mixing with his own, and Dandelion keened as he fell forward, pressing his forehead against Geralt’s back.

There was silence in the room except for their heaving breathing and the sound of his own pulse ringing in his ears. After what could have been minutes or hours, he started to feel uncomfortable, even with Geralt and Dandelion pressed into either side of him.

“I am not cleaning this up,” he grumbled.

“Well I did all the work!” Dandelion whined, in a similar tone.

They both turned to Geralt, with matching cornflower blue eyes wide and pleading.

Geralt sighed heavily and rolled off the bed. Jaskier laughed and pulled Dandelion into a kiss whilst they waited for their witcher to return.

#the witcher #geraskier #jaskilion #geraskilon #multiverse #nsft #wolfie's witcher writing #anythinggoesfandoms

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allofmycrushes · 3 years

Text

Something I realised about Midnight Cowboy being an inspiration for BF ending

Midnight Cowboy is a cult movie but its ending never reaped so much controversy. At first glance BF copies it all from MC. Unlucky in life guy dies in a manner of "oops shit happens", unnoticed among stranges, his demise sweetened by his friend's comforting embrace. Tragic, bittersweet, the prose of llife. So why would Ash's death evoke different emotions? Ash is a different person from Midnight Cowboy hero, the story of Banana Fish is different- maybe that is why the ending feels so mismatched for so many people. Maybe cutting and pasting the conclusion of other character on Ash isn't a good or smart choice all things considered. The circumstances surrounding Ash's life and death are dissimilar too which adds to the feeling of disrepancy. Let's compare: Ash isn't a naive, rather passive but otherwise completely unremarkable ordinary MC guy. He and Eiji aren't "loser" con men hustlers having random encounters while just trying to get by. The stakes are much higher. Ash like the Midnight Cowboy hero is haunted by sexual violence but the overall plot of the story and what he goes through during is a much different journey. He is also presented to us as a person who fights back against his odds, his spirit unbroken and despite being tormented deep down he's not completely marred by the things that happened to him, his conflict is to not become what his abusers told him he is and to free his mindset from their influence. In that context Ash's death and its circumstances feel jarring. Additionaly we have to consider the most frustrating part- the letter. Before it serves as a nice daydream and all the points Eiji had tried to make are reducted to "feel good" fairytale as Ash dies it is the very thing that causes Ash getting stabbed and then paradoxically despite of Eiji's wishes expressed in the letter itself it becomes his reason to go and bleed out in the library. It's the opposite of what Eiji intented for Ash and what he promises him in the letter contents. Eiji tells him there's something to live for, that he can triumph over what is thrown at him, that shit doesn't have to always happen to him and he doesn't have to give in to it because he isn't fated. Eiji's role up to this point was not only to console but to reignite that flame Ash managed to preserve for so long. He gives Ash hope and motivation but now he apparently becomes a reason to lose it, to do the opposite. What Ash does in the end renders what Eiji wrote about false and meaningless. Shit happened again and Ash gives in. Eiji failed. Tragic irony or indecisiveness in ideas the story wants to present? Ash just bleeding out in public is something so obviously taken from a different tale considering all that happened before but it takes place because of the cinematic inspiration. Mixing the letter carrying the torch of Banana Fish previous spirit and having Ash ignoring it for the sake of a preplanned scene lifted from a movie with a whole other vibe just adds to the divergence. The letter and the story says one thing, the ending and what Ash did says another. Both can't be true at the same time, they clash but somehow we're supposed to think they don't? Additionally Ash dying a peaceful death of a resigned person who acts as if he believes he has no control over his life is not Ash we've seen before and it's not what Ash is told he is by Eiji. The guy in Midnight Cowboy dies in a bus from pneumonia, nobody told him he could change his fate, conclusions of the movie are different, it isn't a passive suicide. Maybe it wouldn't be this incoherent if Ash had just died immediately (with added flashbacks to the good times) after getting stabbed and with no letter involved. If there absolutely had to be the end scene in the library what for also seemingly unironically have the letter babbling Ash can change his fate in a staggering lack of self awareness. If Eiji was just meant to be one good thing in a bleak life destined for nothing else but a bleak end (like the MC hero's friend is in the movie) it wouldn't be so bizarrely out of the blue but the narrative was unambiguously attempting at having Ash actualizing this aim to change his destiny or rather at having him learn that he has no fixed destiny. In order to force the Midnight Cowboy ending Ash's actions have to deny Eiji's words. In BF the consolation is also a reason for death and proves to be actually smoke and mirrors. The fallen promises don't make the story even more tragic, they almost make the whole story unravel and I don't think creating an incomplete puzzle that don't fit together was the intention. The need to paste a Midnight Cowboy ending on BF undoes all established relationships and development, tries to force us to be blind to the sudden unexplained inconsistency, to suddenly ignore it the way Ash ignores what he had strived for and what Eiji told him. In the context of the whole story forcing MC ending proves inadequte, it makes you sad and that's not the problem- the problem is that it's not a fulfilling, compelling conclusion that makes sense.

#beating a dead horse no pun intended #again same old but had it in my drafts so long so #banana fish #banana fish ending

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mooosicaldreamz · 4 years

Note

Have you listened to folklore yet?? Can you do commentary on all the songs??

it’s time.

THE 1

This song has a funny vibe in comparison with “I Forgot that You Existed” - it really sets a tone of calm, quiet vibes in comparison to the more bombastic stuff on Lover. Also this song is kind of a banger. It has a very gentle rhythm, like I’m in the sun in the woods and I’m in my hammock. I have a hammock now and I’m considering moving into it. “It would’ve been fun / if you would’ve been the one.” Also I love the “I had this dream you’re doing cool shit” - so fun, so sweet. Taylor said a curse word.

CARDIGAN

This song is proof to me that this album was produced by a Dessner because it has the same repetitive piano that I would say is a hallmark of National songs - it sounds a lot like “Light Years” to me. That song is, by the way, an absolute banger. This song? Fun! It’s an interesting metaphor, and an interesting way of saying the point of the song. And I think it’s much more grounded than some more old school Taylor metaphors of like fairytale stuff. “Tried to change ending / Peter losing Wendy.”

THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY

As we ALL KNOW, this song is about Taylor’s wonderful little house wherein the great Fourth of July celebration took place all over Instagram in the Red era. I googled it and it’s semi-biographical! I think it’s clear that Taylor is making commentary on her life on the Cape just as much as she is telling the story of this person, Rebekah Harkness. It’s an interesting piece of self-awareness to compare herself to an oil heiress who caused quite the stir in a segment of the world that is full of big stirrers (ie the Kennedys who I’m pretty sure she was neighbors with somewhere down the beach). I’m intrigued. She is having fun.

EXILE (FEAT BON IVER)

This will sound like absurd hyperbole but between Bon Iver and Taylor Swift, I’d be hard pressed to name two artists who have fucked up my life more. Getting to hear his beautiful baritone without layers of distress like he’s been rolling with lately is a gift. Thank you to Taylor Swift. “I can see you staring, honey / like he’s just your understudy / like you’d get your knuckles bloody / for me.” VIBEZ???? ARE WE VIBING????? I AM VIBGIN!!!!!! “Those eyes add insult to injury????”” BANGER!!! IT’S A BANGER. THAT BREAKDOWNN!!!! LET’S ROLL!!!! LET’S GET FUCKED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m PUTTING THIS ON SO MANY PLAYLISTS!!!!!!!!!!

MY TEARS RICOCHET

LET’S GET EMO !!!!!!!! You know, just recently I was discussing with Lynne (or myself? I talk to myself about Taylor a lot) about how she’s gonna go on her like farewell tour when she’s 50-60 or whatever and it’s gonna be all these low-down sexy baller mixes, like when Cyndi Lauper did her greatest hits cover release (it’s a banger!). This album is just an excuse for her to sing in her low register. God, I’d die for her. I love how sad this is. I have too many favorite lines. “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace / ‘cause when I’d fight, you used to tell me I was brave / And if I’m dead to you why are you at the wake?” ALSO “And you can aim for my heart, go for blood / But you would still miss me in your bones.” OKAY HONEY!!!!!!! This is a clear Supercorp song. Since I know this is why you are asking. Start here for fic titles.

MIRRORBALL

Oh, okay, Taylor went to the woods and listened to Ryan Adams, Bon Iver, and just fucked around and made shoe gaze pop? What kind of talent!!!! Her last album was premium pop. Why is she like this. This song is very interesting. It’s very sweet. The phrasing on “tallest tiptoes / highest heels” oh my God. I love this song. I might cry.

SEVEN

Another absolute National-style production, God, we are living in my dream world on this album. “I’ve been meaning to tell you / I think your house is haunted / Your dad is always mad and that must be why / And I think you should come live with me / and we can be pirates.” WHAT A JOKE. WHAT A JOKE!!!!!!! What a beautiful portrait of childhood. There’s a scene in Spring Awakening (the musical, I can only assume now that Taylor is a big fan), where they talk about playing pirates when they were younger and now everything is tragic. “Are there still beautiful things?” It shouldn’t be that easy bro.

AUGUST

This, like “Seven” is an Antonoff production, which is just vibes. The dreaminess. We are vibing. As much as I am inclined to hate the line, “August slipped away like a bottle of wine” it is phrased so well and delicately that it comes across more dreamy than wine mom memey. I also just want to say that I bought the OG vinyl and the “meet me behind the mall” vinyl and after hearing the song that it comes from it’s a vibe. This is obviously a teenage romp song, which is really great because obviously Taylor wrote about being a teenager in love when she was a teenager and wrote about like, the classic world-ending Romeo and Juliet style fairytale. But this is….”meet me behind the mall.” Which is such an adult perspective on what being a teenager is. It’s so wonderful to see that artistic depth in an artist we’ve literally watched grow.

THIS IS ME TRYING

I feel like this is the depression song that should have been on Reputation but was so out of step with the rest of the album between it’s thunderous anger / thunderous oh-shit-I’m-into-this-dude that they couldn’t work it in. And it doesn’t quite vibe with Lover either…this whole song is GREAT. It’s very depression 101. It makes me cry also. “They told me all of my cages were mental / so I got wasted like all my potential / and my words shoot to kill when I’m mad / I have a lot of regrets about that.” I LOVE the way she sings “I have a lot of regrets about that.” Also “and it’s hard to be at a party / when I feel like an open wound.” Absolute banger.

ILLICIT AFFAIRS

I feel we should give this song the true banger status because Taylor wrote a song about a girl who is the other woman and it’s empathetic. God, we love progress. This song also does a good job of being about the other woman, but also has a little more universal appeal. I know when I heard this I was like, “oof, okay, I don’t miss being 16.” The word mercurial is used in this song.

INVISIBLE STRING

Not to get too emo about it, but this song is adorable and it’s messed up that she wrote it. The idea behind it that I think must be fairly common for people who are in love, that their lives have unique crossover moments, and there’s this hope/want to believe that you were always going to end up in this place because of all those connections? That’s kind of a complex thing (imo) to express. And she WROTE IT!!!! God. If I were Joe Alwyn I would cry every day.

MAD WOMAN

The fact that Taylor would ever attempt to make me believe this is not about Scooter Braun is insane. I love this song. Proof of concept that you don’t need to yell to show how mad you are.

EPIPHANY

This song is sad. But very interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her write anything like this. I think the back half of this album is a little more experimental.

BETTY

I’m not sure what I’m expected to say here. I know that this song is not actually gay. But I don’t care. It’s country twang from a boy’s perspective and you know what? We’re taking it. We are taking it for ourselves. But also, I love that she chose to write this weird “teenage love triangle” set of songs and that she chose to write none of them from like, her perspective? Right? “August” is James cheating on Betty, “Illicit Affairs” is the other woman, and this is James…when Taylor was 17 she would have written this song from Betty’s perspective. And that’s what we would have got. There’s real growth in storytelling here, and a real interest in expanding the canon of what she’s writing about. It’s really great to see an artist do that. Also the way she sings “The worst thing that I ever did / was what / I did to you.” This whole song is a masterpiece. I hate her.

PEACE

I just learned that Joe Alwyn is a Pisces. I am A PISCES. TAYLOR!!!! WE COULD BE TOGETHER.

I love the “I talk shit with my friends / It’s like I’m wasting your honor.” This song is so adult. She’s in like. Real love bro. BRO. I AM HAPPY FOR HER. BRO!!!!!!

HOAX

I am interested in why this is the last song on the non-deluxe version of the album. I don’t have a lot to say about this but that it reminds me of Wuthering Heights. Also if you wanted to get emo this is probably a good SC song.

#tsweezy #tswizzle #at some point i fucked up her tags

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ravenbell-exchange · 4 years

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Here come the prompts!

These are for all of us to use, so please feel free to peruse, reblog, explore, comment, and be generally delightful. Everyone will be receiving their assigned prompts later today, but remember that we are writing two stories each: one from the assigned prompts, and one from this list. You are free to pick anything apart from stuff you yourself prompted. There haven’t been any Dear Author letters I’ve spotted so far, so I’ve included some additional crossover prompts from people here, just for ease of reference. You absolutely don’t have to pick them - there’s just there in case you want them!

If you didn’t sign up for this challenge, but want to use any of the prompts below to write a fic – go for it! As long as you make sure to credit where you got the prompt from, you are very welcome to play with us.

Now, without further ado:

Url: @autobot

Prompt 1: Sports AU: Bellamy and Raven flirt while their respective teams yell at them to get their head in the game.

Prompt 2: Delinquent Winter: It's snowing, so the delinquents decide to start a snowball fight. Raven and Bellamy really go at each other. Bellamy ends up getting a cut on his lip from an icy snowball, and Raven decides to remedy that with a kiss.

Prompt 3: Season 7: This is pretty vague but just anything with the relationship Bellamy/Raven/Doucette, with Bellamy having had separate relationships with the other two in the past.

Prompt 4 (optional variation on 1): HP AU: Bellamy and Raven flirt while their respective Gryffindor and Ravenclaw Quidditch teams yell at them to get their head in the game.

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: Momma didn't raise no wussy "N/A"

Also: Have seen all 7 seasons.

Url: @growlereish

Prompt 1: post mount weather road trip. monty, miller, lincoln, gina, octavia, harper welcome to come too. maybe they find a bunch of cars and the delinquents take off into the sunset together. maybe it's just bellamy and raven exploring the world together.

Prompt 2: au where they're on a sports team together. any sport, the sport is not important, it's about the Team As Family and the Narratives

Prompt 3: fantasy au or canon + fantasy elements

Prompt 4: relationship negotiation / exploration

Prompt 5: anything from the expansive list of likes on my dear creator letter: https://growlery.dreamwidth.org/11097.html

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: somnophilia; humiliation, especially as a kink; d/s that's about punishment; discussion of diets/nutrition plans/exercise regimens/body maintenance/weight management/etc

Also: Have seen up to + including 3x08

Url: @kinetic-elaboration

Prompt 1: High school AU: Bellamy and Raven are exes, but Raven is still good friends with Octavia, so they still see each other all the time

Prompt 2: Bellamy/Raven/Gina negotiating/figuring out a poly relationship in Arkadia pre-S3

Prompt 3: Braven + First real, heavy snow on the ground (canon or canon-divergent AU)

Prompt 4: Librarian!Bellamy and Mechanic!Raven

Prompt 5: Modern AU: Bellamy, Raven, and author's choice other delinquents living in a cramped apartment together; Raven and Bellamy are either struggling with UST or in a secret relationship or FWB arrangement

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: pregnancy/kid fic of any sort; side/background Minty, Marper, or Clexa; explicit sex (implied/fade to black/generically described is ok); character bashing of any kind

Also: Have seen season 1-4 (really do not want to write/read anything related to the timeskip on, please!). I'm not really into the Grounders generally; I love the delinquents; I headcanon Raven as bisexual but Bellamy as straight.

Url: @justbecauseyoubelievesomething

Prompt 1: Sci-fi/Space AU where Bellamy and Raven serve on the same ship; (fr)enemies to lovers with lots of angst along the way! Time loop/travel or interdimensional travel shenanigans would be appreciated as well!

Prompt 2: Dark Fairytale/Fantasy AU; very dark, stormy, foresty vibes; one of them is some sort of mythical creature, maybe even ruler of other mythical creatures; dark forbidden romance; for lots of bonus angst, one of them can be a magical creature hunter and reveal themselves at the end!

Prompt 3: Canonverse Ark AU; Bellamy and Raven meet as adults on the Ark because they both join the same secret revolutionary group planning to overthrow Alpha Station; other Delinquents can definitely make appearances!

Prompt 4: Modern AU; one of the two is driving through a small town trying to get home for Christmas when their car breaks down and they are forced to take it to the town's only mechanic; they snark at each other before the mechanic invites the stranded party to Christmas dinner; found family; fluff; basically you're typical Hallmark-esque set-up.

Prompt 5: Any setting! Bellamy and Raven are rivals in some sort of extreme sport (or if set in canonverse can be something like spacewalking). They're constantly pushing each other to their limits trying to beat each other, until Raven permanently injures her leg. She becomes very bitter during her recovery until she realizes that Bellamy isn't competing anymore and confronts him. Maybe feelings come out right away or maybe it takes them a while to get around to realizing it, but lots of angst and hurt/comfort during the build-up!

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: Explicit smut; pregnancy/kid fic; incest; student/teacher; character bashing of any other characters

Also: Have seen seasons 1-6 and the first half of season 7.

Url: @ravenbells

Prompt 1: Raven discovering and enjoying the fact that Bellamy is a huge history nerd (can be canon, modern or some kind of fantasy/sci-fi setting).

Prompt 2: Modern AU. Raven is sharing a flat with friends, but one of them has to move out because of Reasons, and Bellamy rents the freed up room. Doesn’t have to be set in the US if you don’t want to, I don’t care that it’s an American show.

Prompt 3: Grounder AU, but set in the past. Bellamy and Raven were children when the nukes that caused the Ark to stay in space for generations went off. Now they are they first generation of survivors who have to build a life in a world without technology.

Prompt 4: Steampunk AU. Can be traditional Victorian-aesthetic steampunk, but if you want to lift your visuals from any other time period, be my guest. I’m going to love anything you do.

Prompt 5: Bellamy and Raven are exes who get back together (can be canon or any AU setting you can imagine).

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: Graphic violence

Also: Have only seen the first 2 seasons, please have mercy. If you want to incorporate the characters playing DnD into any of the stories, be my guest - just putting this in here because I know some people in the group love it (Bellamy would play a paladin, fight me), but if you’re not into this stuff, absolutely don’t feel obliged.

Url: shortitude @ AO3

Prompt 1: Modern coffee-shop AU where they meet because both of them has a Specific Table they like to sit at and usually their schedules do not coincide, but then because of fate (someone's wi-fi broke, there's plumbing work happening at home, etc) they have to go to the coffee shop and their table is taken, as are all the others. Luckily, the traitor who took their Specific Table is willing to share it, just for today. (And then every day after.) Friends to Lovers is preferred over Instant Attraction in this one. Even open-ended works. (Please, no pandemic.)

Prompt 2: Canon-based AU: Give me cottagecore survival to replace the weird plots that happened to this show after s2. The idea of the Delinquents settling in a village, life moving on, peace being brokered, etc etc. In the middle of it all, Bellamy and Raven rely on each other to rebuild, and fall in love. A lot.

Prompt 3: Five times Bellamy tried to show his love for Raven and failed, and one time she finally got the point. Oblivious That People Might Love Her!Raven is my tragic and problematic fave. A bonus: competence kink. Acceptable: any form of AU; I am not a stickler for canon.

Prompt 4 (optional): Pacific Rim AU; veteran Jaeger pilot gets pulled back into action because of a need to pull off a last fight against the apocalypse/alien invasion, drifts unexpectedly with the supermouthy, supersmart, very capable engineer/mechanic. Add as many characters from The 100 as you'd like into this, but I am very much more into the wholesome survival of all of them than I am about everyone except Braven dying.

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: Bellarke content if the Braven content is just a way for Bellamy to "get over" Clarke, be it failed relationship or unrequited one.

Also: Have seen season 1 and Season 2 in full; vaguely familiar with STUFF about how they ended up in space, and nothing beyond that because I literally don't care.

#blayesnetwork #ravenbell #braven #bellamy x raven #bellamy blake #raven reyes

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unnursvanablog · 5 years

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All the shows I watched in the second half of 2019.

Sort of in the order that I watched it in, or wrote the titles down in my bullet journal.

Shows that I finished 😄

Victoria: I find myself growing bored with this show with each passing season. The main couple didn't do much than other than fight this season, they introduced a bunch of new characters and drama that I just didn't care about. Stunning to look at though.

Jane the Virgin: A solid finale for this show that could not have picked a better place to end. The story had sort of run out of steam and the soap opera plot and twists gotten a little tired. Made me cry in the end.

Absolute Boyfriend: Don't ask why I finished it. I don't even know. What a mess. Angel's Last Mission: Started quite well, lovely role reversal and I really enjoyed the characters. Got a tad too melodramatic for me towards the end.

Stranger Things 3: Oh, how I adore this show! It's almost just pure entertainment. The characters are great (although some of them were altered a little to fit the narrative), especially the new additions to the gang. Some parts of the show had lot more exciting narrative than others though, as the characters scatter around looking for clues. A nice mystery, the monster got to evolve a little. I cried my eyes out toward the end.

Hotel Del Luna: I adore this show for the most part. IU and Yeo Jin Goo are both great in their roles, and it always had this dark fairytale vibe going for it. Loved how big of a role Man Wol got and the role reversal. The drama wouldn't have worked without her at the reins. The drama seemed to struggle to end properly though.

The Living and The Dead: a nice to look at period drama, okay horror story, nothing more to say beyond that.

Medici: Masters of Florence: Binged the first season, was super into it. The second season was more of a struggle for me. Wasn't as into that story for some reason.

Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung: A cute little sageuk. The story is rather slow and steady, not many highs or super intense. Focused a whole lot on the female characters, which is always a plus in my book. The female friendship was great and made the drama great for me.

Gentleman Jack: Very well-made period drama, a beautiful love story that hits all the marks for a period drama romance, this time with two females. Colorful characters and the humor in it were great. Very witty. I adore it! It gave me everything I wanted out of a show like this one, and I can't wait for more.

Fleabag: Short but impact, funny, bleak and interesting and just get better as you spend more time with it. Each character messed up in their own way. You think about it long after you finish it.

Schooled: Cute sitcom about teachers. Doesn’t leave much behind after watching it, but a nice, nonetheless.

Why Woman Kill: Everything a little over the top and a little camp, but it works for the story it’s trying to say. Colorful characters, lovely humor and the narrative is exciting for the most part. Tells three different story, with one of them being a lot duller than the other two.

The Great British Bake Off: Just the loveliest, coziest show. I drink way too much tea and eat way too while watching it. All of my favorites had left before the finale, which made it harder to watch.

My Country: Bloody, tragic. Lots of people killing each other with swords, backstabbing each other and all the other things you would expect from a show like this. Kept me on my toes, exciting all the way through. Gave me everything I wanted out of the show, pretty much.

Tale of Nodku: Ran out of a story towards the end, the first two episodes was where the magic were. Super cute and light and funny with a lot of great characters.

When The Camilla Blooms: Very slice-of-life, very cute and cozy to watch, but a little slow in the pacing at times. The story never truly won me over tho, even if the otp was very cute. Found most of the male characters annoying, and I hate the murder-mystery storyline.

Dickinson: Short, a somewhat nice but strange mix of maybe modern humor and period drama. Modern pop songs and speech. I liked it but didn't love it.

His Dark Materials: Has more time to explore the story from the books but doesn't always give itself time to do so. The narrative has pacing issues at times, as we jump between worlds and characters and due to budget issues, it can't do everything it needs to do. Pullmans world it very complex and it seems to be hard to convey all of its massages and depth into another medium, but this is a step in the right direction and there were a lot of scenes and moments I loved.

The Crown: Finished all three seasons. A stunning period drama, there is lot of effort put into it. Some episodes great, while other a bit more lackluster. Never got totally emerged into it, but a nice watch.

Bojack Horseman: I like how openly Bojack talks about talks about certain issues with a very dark humor, yet it's always kind of respectful. Seems to be ending at the right moment.

The Dragon Prince: I like this little fantasy show more and more as we go further into this world. It's sort of a refreshing fantasy, while also not straying too far away from the more traditional story that you might expect from a story like this.

The Witcher: Had pacing issues at the beginning as the story didn’t seem to find itself at first and just sort of jumps between narratives as it's introduces the world and the characters to you. A lovely adaptation though and gets a lot better as we go further along, and the story finds its footing.

Shows I didn’t finish: 😶

Sky Castle: Dark and dramatic and I could see how well made they were even before I started watching then. But half way through I seemed to have lost interest a bit. Maybe because I heard lackluster things about the finale. Might pick it up again.

My First First Love: Cute, but I kinda didn't care about it. Was never in the mood to watch it.

Arthdal Cronicals: I struggled through the first half, forced my way through the second half and never felt like picking it up when the third half rolled around. A mess. It tried so hard with the world-building that it forgot to start the story for good, or develop the characters that much, so when it was time for the story to actually start you just kinda didn't care about what was happening.

Joseon Marriage Agency: The story was uneven, kinda unfunny and silly at times and then way too serious at times. Cliché storyline. Didn’t do much new or interesting. I never really cared about what was happening.

Sanditon: I was just never in the mood to watch it, and when I did, I was quite bored.

Melting Me Softly: Unbelievably unfunny, way to silly and messy narrative. I can't believe I watched like six episodes before I just gave up. I could not take it anymore. It was just so dump, but not in an entertaining way and never very sincere with anything. It seemed to be trying too much, yet not at all. Never touching a drama by this screenwriter again.

#tv show review #kdrama review

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cosmi-trashbin · 6 years

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My Top 5 Favorite Ducktales 2017 Episodes (So Far)

I’m pretty new to DuckTales as a whole.

The reboot has been my official introduction to Scrooge McDuck, Duckburg, and otherwise. So, it may be awhile before I’m familiar with or better acquainted with the original comics and the first cartoon series, as well as other series referenced such as Darkwing Duck and Talespin. After getting caught up with this series, I’m definitely curious about the source material that bits and pieces of the toon makes loving references and homages to. Regardless, these picks are based on what I’ve personally liked and enjoyed about DuckTales 2017 so far.

5.) "The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains!"

Golden Lagoon is the reboot’s introduction to Scrooge’s old flame Goldie O’ Gilt. She’s cunning, she’s devious, she’s beautiful, and she’s one of the few ducks that can really give Scrooge the proverbial run for his money. It’s kind of fun to see how dramatic, complicated, and dysfunctional her relationship with Scrooge is. Scrooge and Goldie definitely gives off vibes of ‘This is the only man/woman I have genuine feelings for’ but it’s tempered by the idea of a perpetual cat-and-mouse chase.

Goldie and Scrooge sync up on so many things, but their attraction towards each other and the big deal-breaker are their respective obsessions with and opinions on treasure-hunting. For Goldie, treasure is the ultimate objective, she will go to any length to get it, and she’ll do whatever she thinks she needs to do to keep it. For Scrooge, he’s obsessed with gold and hoards treasure like a true miser, but he’ll pick a loved one over treasure every time if it comes down to those rough circumstances. It’s a bit of a toss-up as to how Goldie will react to or behave in certain situations. The ideal meeting for Scrooge and Goldie is a fairweather Indiana Jones venture with low stakes and only the other as their worst enemy. It’s more fun and the focus is on being both enchanted by and disgusted by what the other will do next.

Scrooge and Goldie had the spotlight for this episode, but Glomgold is a ridiculously welcome third wheel. Apparently, his jealousy of Scrooge’s love life is the kind of kicker to give him “Grade A Villain” casting for at least an episode. It was unexpectedly grim when Goldie slipped into that river of molten gold.

4.) "Who is Gizmoduck?!"

I love episodes of cartoons that focus on and follow another character of the cast for at least that one story.

This episode is pretty much the underdog story of how Fenton, the humble and starry-eyed intern, became the hero Gizmoduck. Previous episodes set up Fenton as an awkward, kind of over-compensating, but sympathetic figure. All he wants is to earn his boss and personal hero Gyro’s respect and get a few words of encouragement. Viewers learn that Gyro isn’t the only one Fenton’s trying to impress. His M’Ma, Officer Cabrera, is skeptic of Fenton’s role as an unpaid intern and his insistence that “it will lead to bigger, better things, I swear!” In short, Fenton is caught between his personal hopes and the expectations of others.

With how much respect Fenton holds for Gyro, the expected story was that he’d be let down by how the man doesn’t live up to the idealized image in Fenton’s mind. Instead, Fenton has been losing respect for and blind admiration of Gyro for awhile. Fenton’s attention shifted to Gyro’s highly experimental prototype suit of armor and what kind of potential said suit has. It’s no longer about gaining Gyro’s approval. It’s about figuring out who Gizmoduck is and what he can do. Whether he expected it or not, Fenton unexpectedly stumbled into his life’s purpose. Suddenly, Gizmoduck isn’t just an abstract idea or an idealized concept, Fenton is Gizmoduck. Since the episode shows things from Fenton’s perspective, Gizmoduck can be considered a key part of his own journey towards self-actualization.

Honestly, I consider “Gizmoduck” an example for why this toon has something for everybody. Kids have the triplets, Webby, and Lena. Older adults have Donald, Scrooge, and Beakley. And personally, as a twenty-something on a self-discovery journey, I relate to and empathize with Fenton.

3.) "From the Confidential Case Files of Agent 22!"

There was a scene in the very first episode where Webby posed dramatically in front of a Scrooge statuette. Part of me was pointing excitedly at the screen thinking “She’s Scrooge McDuck’s thematic echo for the current generation!”

I was a bit off. Arguably, both Louie and Webby have traits, goals, and motivations in common with Scrooge. In Webby’s case, she shares Scrooge’s intense enthusiasm and zeal for adventuring and the history attached to the relic/site they’re about to visit. The reason why she’s so drawn to and utterly fascinated by Scrooge is that she’s Scrooge’s kindred spirit for lack of a better description. “Confidential Case Files” is the most significant episode so far for fleshing out this particular idea and Webby’s specific bonding-with-Uncle-Scrooge episode.

Viewers are treated to a fun James Bond parody, the official reveal and confirmation of Mrs. Beakley’s background as a spy, and direct focus on Scrooge and Webby’s dynamic. It’s fun to see Webby’s and Scrooge’s vie to rescue Mrs. Beakley compared/contrasted with the first time Scrooge teamed up with Agent 22. Webby naturally goes for similar conclusions and approaches to island threats that Scrooge originally had, but her actions are tempered by Beakley’s shrewd instincts. Scrooge and Webby’s team-up is a showcase for what kind of impact Beakley had on both of them: Scrooge tries to be more conscientious and responsible of his actions and Webby’s reckless adventuring spirit is teamed up with thorough training from Beakley. In short, Webby benefits greatly from having both Scrooge and Beakley as her mentors and guardians.

Scrooge and the triplets have been a driving force in Webby opening up and exploring how to be more comfortable her strange, eccentric self. When Scrooge acknowledges how important bonding with her is, it’s pretty much on-screen confirmation that Webby and Beakley are extended members of his family.

2.) "The Other Bin of Scrooge McDuck!"

Throughout the series, Lena kept trying to convince herself and her aunt Magica that she was just ‘using’ Webby and that she’s locked away all of her ‘weak’ emotions. But it was just lip service the entire time.

I’ve loved her character writing over the course of the entire first season. Viewers can see Lena’s struggle and empathize with how difficult it’d be to act against her aunt, but root her on that much more the bigger and more significant her defiance becomes. It starts with how ambiguous her reasons for saving Beakley were and grows into signs that she sincerely cares about her friendship with Webby, if not the McDuck family at large, when she uses her magic to destroy Magica’s money shark. Lena’s personal dilemma has been gaining her freedom vs the possibility of hurting someone completely innocent. Despite her position, when things get dire, Lena opts for the decision that helps/protects others from Magica.

Lena’s freedom was the most powerful incentive Magica had to keep the girl under her control. The nightmare is Lena’s bucket of cold water. It’s one thing for the McDucks to find out about how she was part of Magica’s plot, but the bigger realization is that Magica can and will hurt the people Lena cares about no matter what she does. Even worse, Lena was always just a tool for Magica and that if she can, Magica will use Lena to destroy the people Lena cares about and revel in it.

Watching Lena inadvertently destroy Webby permanently left a bigger impact than anything else Magica did. The build-up and execution of that scene, in addition to Lena’s relief at it all just being a dream, is hands-down one of the strongest scenes in this series. It’s satisfying to see Lena try to reach out to Scrooge for help. It adds to how fantastic a twist the Magica possession is and gives ample weight to how tragic Lena’s death is.

After “Shadow Wars,” I’m really hoping Lena returns at a later point in the series. While there’s a certain kind of narrative closure and gravity to the idea of Lena as Webby’s guardian spirit, the sappy part of me wants her to come back. I want the happy, fairytale ending of Scrooge adopting Lena, okay?

On a side note: It’s kind of interesting that plush doll Webby partly resembles her original character design from the 1987 DuckTales series. Maybe this scene could be interpreted as having a double meaning or something?

1.) "The Last Crash of the Sunchaser!"

This episode is an emotional gut-punch because of the ending montage. The entire season kept dropping bread crumbs about the missing Della subplot. As the story keeps building, it’s like a rubberband is slowly getting pulled to the point of snapping with Scrooge’s confession about the Spear of Selene. In the heat of the moment, the triplets directly blame Scrooge for losing their mom and old wounds are ripped open for Donald. It’s understandable why everyone is so emotional and the big fallout that follows. As if seeing the triplets’ hearts break wasn’t enough, viewers see Scrooge’s side of the story: He was getting used to the idea of having family join him on adventures, building the Spear was a gesture of goodwill and hopes for how grand future adventures would be, how everything went wrong when Della took off against his warnings, and how desperately he tried to get Della back home safely.

Losing Della broke and devastated Scrooge just as much as it did everyone else. Over the course of adventuring with his niece and nephew, he was starting to become more open-minded and open to others in general. He already took people under his wing if they had interesting ideas and rebellious ideas that stuck out to him, but even then, they were just colleagues or employees. Della and Donald started to convince him to consider others, family especially, as someone he could trust, confide in, and learn from just as much as he could teach them. Seeing Scrooge sink back down into that big arm chair was the dramatic climax of his character arc in this series; a weighty echo of this series’ fantastic take on the classic ‘curmudgeonly Scrooge’ story.

In short: This episode’s writing tugged at my heartstrings and made me feel things.

#ducktales 2017 #ducktales reboot #scrooge mcduck #webby #ducktales lena #ducktales della #favorite episodes list #top 5 list #top favorites list #favorites list

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him-e · 7 years

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Cersei, the prophecy, the walk of shame & redemption

Under the cut: a criminally late reply to some Lannistercentric questions @pips69 sent me weeks months ago (sorry, I was taken hostage by the show, and then real life issues)

May I ask how different you think Cersei might be if she never visited Maggy the frog? I know it's a pretty big "what if" but it really bothers me when some people down play just what a large effect the prophecy had on her, especially during discussions about her mental state of mind and if she deserves sympathy. I'm wondering because I loved your thoughts on what Cersei might have been like as a man but I noticed the prophecy wasn't mentioned.

I completely agree with what Lauren says in this post about Maggy’s prophecy being a late addition to Cersei’s story (if not a complete retcon). If you’re looking for a Cersei who never visited Maggy the Frog, look no further than AGOT-ASOS Cersei. That is, a Cersei who clearly has no time to worry about little valonqars jumping at her throat; a Cersei who is rational enough to understand that Bran was not a direct threat to her or her children (and isn’t happy that Jaime defenestrated him, though not because she feels compassion for Bran, but because that created a whole other set of problems); who thinks Sansa is obnoxious and pathetic and stupid but never acts like she feels threatened by her potentially being the YMBQ; who wants Arya’s hand in punishment for hurting Joffrey even though she has no real reason to suspect her either as the YMBQ or the valonqar; who doesn’t seem one iota worried that Tyrion might wrap his hands around her pale neck, but still profoundly detests and treats him like shit; who orders Robert’s bastards to be massacred simply because she won’t risk people to compare *their* looks to Robert’s *legitimate* children and do the maths, and so on.

From a meta perspective, it’s hard to incorporate Maggy’s prophecy into Cersei’s character since the beginning, because it’s painfully evident that GRRM came up with it only later (or it would have been built up/foreshadowed better).

This is why a lot of meta writers (including me) won’t necessarily bring it up to discuss her personality. Because Cersei’s character doesn’t need a prophecy to be explained. Note that GRRM makes sure that some of Cersei’s worst traits, like her abusive behavior towards Tyrion or her classism, arrogance and contempt for "lesser” beings, manifested well before she met the witch. So I don’t think the prophecy is meant to excuse Cersei’s crimes or even inspire sympathy in the reader. I think the narrative purpose of the prophecy is:

give Cersei a secret trauma to be tortured over in her internal monologue (similar to Jaime re: Aerys’ murder);

facilitate/accelerate her descent into paranoia (that in the original five years gap plan was probably meant to happen more gradually and, in any case, off page);

boost the Evil Queen vibes in her narrative, making them more explicit to the reader (because a big part of why Cersei’s narrative is tragic is that the reader KNOWS how it will all end, so it’s important to wrap her story up in a familiar fairytale envelope);

introduce both a “mystery box” and a magical element in Cersei’s narrative, which so far has always been primarily political.

Having read the rest of your reply, I certainly agree with you! Especially with how GRRM writes Cersei, just the way he does so really gets under my skin. Compared to how he writes his male villains. And then you have the walk of shame. Some people have said that GRRM wrote Cersei in her most sympathetic light during her walk (with her feeling guilt and such) but I don't know, it's just...lets say Cersei dies in the end anyway (which we know she will) can you see any of the male villains being put through something so humiliating first? Roose, Ramsay, Walder? No they will likely all meet death and I would have been just fine had Cersei been tried and executed with the respect & dignity fitting a queen. But no she had to be horribly humiliated and shamed first, have every bit of power removed, and to top it all off her death will likely be horrid as well! I just hope Jaime is the one to kill her rather than Tyrion, with what he's said he wants to do to her... I don't know it just seems like GRRM really, truly hates Cersei and that really bothers me. Much like the huge amount of hate she gets in the fandom. Does it bother you too?

This ties in with the redemption discourse, and how Cersei is denied it by the author.

The WoS thing is one of those instances in which GRRM gives the readers what they THINK they want, showing them how HORRIBLE it actually is. Like with Ramsay’s abuse of Theon, with Joffrey’s choking to death, with the complete character annihilation that Lancel undergoes, with Jaime’s maiming, with Vargo Hoat’s terrible death... the reader wanted Cersei to suffer for her crimes, and the author turns that expectation against them, making it so UNCOMFORTABLE to read that you go “nope, this isn’t what I asked for, please, STOP”. This is GRRM forcing us to exercise our empathy muscles the hard way (it’s easy to inspire empathy for good characters; the real challenge - from a writing standpoint - is inspiring empathy for bad characters, because they’re human too. And the fact that even “bad” characters are human is such an integral theme to asoiaf, because newsflash, our heroes will defend THEM too from the Others. All of humanity, the good and the bad).

So the first thing to remember is that, while the WoS doesn’t represent the beginning of an upward arc for Cersei, GRRM is certainly NOT endorsing the sexual humiliation directed against her. Rather, he’s exposing the High Sparrow’s (superficially pro-smallfolk and pro-human rights) ideology as violent, misogynistic, reactionary and populist, in short, as a villainous one.

Do I think GRRM went a little over the top with the WoS, and does it have some uncomfortably voyeuristic implications? Yes, just as I think he should have toned down the sexual violence / abuse perpetrated on women in general in the books.

That’s why, while I would generally appreciate GRRM pulling a redeeming twist on Cersei in any other circumstance, I’m actually happy it didn’t happen with the WoS as a catalyst, because the profoundly sexual (and sexually punitive) nature of it would be a TERRIBLE way to start off a female redemption arc. In fact, although Cersei hallucinates at some point the faces of Ned, Sansa etc. judging her, this doesn’t really inspire any real soul searching or self-examination in her, and the humiliation she suffers does NOT extinguish her arrogance, but rather fuels it. Once she’s safe from the crowd, Cersei is even more determined than before to unleash hell on her enemies, which now include the population of King’s Landing as a whole.

I think this is a good counterpoint to other narratives in asoiaf (particularly Theon’s, but not only) that do have a problematic subtext of abuse being depicted as a hard lesson, a necessary step to atonement, or a chance for growth. In Cersei’s narrative, enduring this sort of savage and humiliating abuse does not produce any positive change in the character, in fact it makes the situation worse.

Sorry if I've asked this before but when it comes to our main Lannisters personalities (Tywin, Cersei, Jaime, Tyrion) do you think pride lions or mountian lions suit them better? Personaly I'd choose mountain lions for Tywin & Cersei while Jaime & Tyrion are more of a mix but lean a bit closer to pride lions. What do you think?

I’ve never thought of any of the Lannisters as mountain lions, tbh. The Lannister sigil is pretty straightforward, and if I’m not mistaken the asoiaf equivalent to mountain lions/cougars would be shadowcats (though they’re not exactly the same). In terms of personality… idk, the only thing that comes to my mind is that cougars, unlike pride lions, are solitary animals, which means the one who I MIGHT associate to them is Tyrion, because he’s always been isolated even in his own family (then again, he craves for love and sincere relationships, so…). Tywin and Cersei? they’re totally gregarious animals, like the rest of their kin. They want to take control of their pack and rule it, but they absolutely need a pack to thrive. The kind of power they seek is inherently social, so I don’t see them doing great on their own.

#got asks #pips69 #asks #got for ts #////#lannisters**#cersei**#abuse tw #rape tw #maggy's prophecy #the walk of shame #redemption

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mianmimi · 5 years

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Emilie Autumn anon here. Haha, yeah, I know her music’s not for everyone. If you only liked Castle Down and weren’t too keen on Liar, then it’s likely you won’t enjoy her Opheliac or Fight Like a Girl eras, FLaG characterized by harsher sounds compared to her Opheliac era, though ironically the lyrics are focused on recovery and not as rage-filled as in her Opheliac era (her Opheliac era can be triggering for survivors of sexual assault, btw, as she is explicit about her own experience and suffering and doesn’t mince words when she calls rapists out, Liar is from this era). However, you might like stuff from her Enchant era, when she was pop baroque-ish and indie and sang about fairies and knights and Shakespeare characters. Maybe you’d enjoy songs like:

Chambermaid: That moment when she sings “Tell me what I have to do to make you understand it’s a lost cause, lover” / “Hold me close when you were thinking of her” / “I don’t want to hear you say you love me” / “You’ve been gone such a long time won’t you tell where” / “Before I have to see this face I once adored” KILLS me with strordo feels. And it fits what you did with Misery Loves Company. Less a character’s thoughts and more like a dialogue between Mordo and Stephen. I also love the potential drama found in Stephen and Mordo fucking during Stephen’s time in KT, with Mordo knowing that Christine means something to Stephen yet not knowing exactly what, and thinking that Stephen is not attracted to him and just using him as a port in a storm while thinking of Christine. But Stephen’s just thinking of Mordo, probably in an incoherent inner monologue that’s pretty much Why is the world’s most beautiful man taking my dick??? *gives self a mental high-five*

How Strange: Or as I like to call it, Emilie Autumn’s first and last foray into the uncharted lands of R&B lol

Juliet: A song about *drum roll* Romeo and Juliet. She manages to make it sweet yet at the same there’s an undercurrent of “oh shit something’s about to happen” because... you know. Spoilers for all five people that don’t know but Romeo and Juliet die at the end. I love it mostly for the violin solo at the end. Emilie is quite the accomplished violinist and when she throws those violin solos it’s fucking awesome.

Let the Record Show: You won’t enjoy this one, probably lol But for anyone interested in both Emilie and those songs I was going to use for that Karl Mordo Can’t Stop Falling for Problematic Men mix, this is one of them. It’s prime post-DS Mordo. “If I’m going down then I’m going down good” / “If I’m going down then I’m going down clean” / “If I’m going down then I’m going” / “The prettiest wretched whore you’ll ever see”

Opheliac: Same as above lol this song is the one that gives the name to an era. Same as above, this was part of the fanmix. “I’ve been so disillusioned” / “I know you’d take me back, but still I feign confusion” / “I couldn’t be your friend, my world was too unstable” / “I’m open to attack, but I don’t wanna hurt you” / “How could you possibly think you had the power to know how to keep me breathing?” / “You know the games play and the words I say when I want my own way” / “You know the lies I tell when you’ve gone through hell and they say I can’t stay” / “You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me when everything and everyone becomes my enemy” / “And when there’s nothing more you can do, I’m gonna blame it on you” / “It’s not the way I wanna be” / “I only hope that in the end you will see”

Mad Girl: Back to songs you might enjoy! lol This one is from the Opheliac era, actually, back when Emilie was obsessed with tragic women from fiction (mostly Shakespeare and Brit Lit) like Ophelia. For an Opheliac era song, its instrumentation is different and softly melancholic. Quick confession, this song always makes me cry. This one is also one of the songs for the aforementioned fanmix, because I will die before I stop referring to Karl Mordo as the classic-tragic-maiden-but-as-a-gay-man character that he is. “In all your fairytales, how did the prince say he loved you?” / “How did your father die?” / “Was he a good man?” / “My melancholy state, folly, fear, and hate, I know” / “My friend in this world is a bottle of nothing” / “Still I try, still I fall”

Rapunzel: And we have arrived to the Enchant era! This song gives me sweet young Mordo staring out his window dreaming of his prince while stuck in Bavaria vibes. “If you sing loud and clear, someone passing by will surely hear you” / “No, you can’t be afraid”

Rose Red: Another from Enchant. As you can tell, it’s vaguely related to Rose Red the fairytale. “Tell me no stories and I’ll tell you no lies” / “No one wants to hurt me but everybody tries” / “For this freedom I have given all I had” / “For this darkness I gave my light” / “For this wisdom I have lost my innocence” / “Take my petals and cover me with night”

What If: This is peak Enchant era, imo. “I am far too tried to stay here” / “And I don’t care what you think of me” / “’Cause I think you were wrong about me” / “And what if you were?” / “What if I’m the kindest demon, something you may not believe in?” / “What if I’m a siren, singing gentlemen to sleep?” / “What if I’m a weeping willow, laughing tears upon my pillow?” / “What if I’m a socialite, who wants to be alone?” / “What if I’m an angel, without wings to take me home?” / “What if I’m a crowded desert, too much pain with little pleasure?” / “What if I don’t know who I am, will that keep us both from trying?”

Special mention goes to Shalott, which I believe I already mentioned in the original post I made (or how I like to call it, Anon’s Evangelizing for Emilie Autumn lol), but I never added the lyrics that make go Mordo-bby-ilu-get-urself-a-good-man-ok. “She looks up the mirrored glass” / “She sees a handsome horse and rider pass” / “She says, ‘That man’s gonna be my death ‘cause he’s all I ever wanted in my life’” / “I know he doesn’t my name and that all the girls are all the same to him” / “So I’ll meet my death” / “But with my last breath I’ll sing to him my love and he’ll see my face in another place”

______________________________

Heya Nonny!

Oh wowowow! I’m listening to the song recommendations again right now. You hit the nail on the head with the songs I’d like more. I ended up listening to the Enchant album twice while the Opheliac album was very hard to get through, more so because of the subject matter though. It’s very raw and there’s a lot of pain and anger there. I don’t know much about the artist but I hope she’s recovering and is doing well now. Rape is a brutal experience and for her to share the emotions and thoughts she went through is extremely powerful and heartbreaking.

I actually really enjoyed “Shalott” and the acoustic version of “Mad Girl.” Her voice is super emotive and lively, raw with emotions. I can see why people can hear stordo, and more specifically Mordo in the songs.

“Juliet” has a gorgeous violin number at the start and throughout and it makes me think of Mordo playing the violin in his family castle, just thinking of the romances he used to read and how life is more tragic than romantic. T____T

“Chambermaid” really does give off the vibe that Christine’s still in the background of Mordo’s mind when he’s with Stephen. I also really enjoyed the fortune telling and card reading motifs of the song. It really needs to the magic aspect of strordo, as well as the ‘fated to meet’ aspect of their pairing.

“Rose Red” and “Rapunzel” give me youthful Mordo vibes. When he’s still hopefully and longing for the love found hia fairytales.

And okay.....I really, really fucking liked “How Strange.” Especially this part...

You know I think it's strange

Just a little bit deranged

That you think I'm gonna change to make you happy

If you can tell me why

I should wait around then I

May be coming down

But until then this means

You can see me in your dreams

Oh man that entire part makes me think of Mordo looking back at the night he walked away. He’s not gonna change just to make Stephen feel happy, and he’s asking why he should stay and wait. It’s so sad and I love it.

My favorite one amongst these songs though is....

“What If.” It’s honestly such a gorgeous song! Also a very vulnerable one.

And I'm far too tired to stay here anymore

And I don't care what you think anyway

'Cause I think you were wrong about me

Yeah what if you were, what if you were

And what if I'm a snowstorm burning

What if I'm a world unturning

What if I'm an ocean

Far too shallow, much too deep

What if I'm the kindest demon

Something you may not believe in

What if I'm a siren

Singing gentlemen to sleep

Ummmm....excuse me. That’s all Mordo to me. It’s heartbreaking, full of turmoil, full of brimming heartache and upheaval, like Mordo doesn’t even know who he is or where he belongs anymore. It makes me think of those months he spent away trying to figure it all out alone. Baby just....just please go home. Stephen’s waiting for you. Let him explain and make up for it baby ;____; Please

Thank you so much for sharing these recommendations Nonny! I’m not much of a rock or folk person. I’m actually realllly vanilla with my music taste, namely old power ballads and musical showstoppers hehehe. But that’s why I really appreciate it when people share different types of music with me! I enjoy discovering new things. And now I’m currently replying “What if” pretty much endlessly. I wouldn’t have discovered it if not for you. So thank you for sharing these Nonny!

#songs for strordo #strordo #stephen strange/karl mordo #otp feels #thank you nonny #ask and answer #submission

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just-seheun · 7 years

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bye 2017, hey 2018

I feel like I always get around to writing an end of the year post on tumblr even if i never really even get to use this site during the year.

well I guess it’s that time of the year (or new year I should say) where I try and look back as well as look forward.

let’s see what happened in 2017...

- let’s say, for one, ‘Murica as a whole kinda went through a lot of bullshit (still is honestly) - we’re getting rid of DACA, the tax cut bill was passed (holla @ the rich 10% and say bye to the other 90%), we’re slowly trying to get rid of/fuck up the EPA despite climate change being very real (if category 4-5 hurricanes occurring back to back is what we’d call “real”), and ya know just the firing of members of the HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention council in the government - to name a few (not to mention, continued police brutality, racial discrimination/injustice (tbh just racism as a whole), and dumb ass fucking people who - ugh

well, moving on to maybe more lighthearted moments...

- I tried to infiltrate the Asian community a little more with (mixed, mostly unsuccessful) efforts. Idk man I tried. I think I did make stronger relationships with the Asian friends I started out with so, I think that’s definitely a major plus. (*insert thumbs up here*)

- also, kinda along with that one, I think I dived into more adventurous food/hangout spots in terms of finding kinda Asian hubs and places I vibe with (an accomplishment of last year too that I think worked and flourished even more in 2017).

- Kind of cooled down with the whole going out scene. I still go out occasionally and have a pretty good time but it’s definitely dwindled down. We definitely started the year going out more but like I said, definitely calmed down a lot.

- Went to my first Terp Thon FTK! Started my TTPT journey with the 1 million dollar year - pretty crazy and amazing. It was truly and unreal experience for all those kids and wouldn’t have changed it for anything. Super sad I won’t be there for Terp Thon 2018 though.

- oh! successfully (kinda) resurrected my GPA from a sad 2.7 (result of getting a 1.7 from failing calc2 and getting a D in bio) to a nice and solid 3.23 which I am tbh very proud of. A 3.8 and 3.88 (technically straight As - woo hooooo) these last two semesters - yay! Just also improving in school as a whole. I’m really starting to enjoy what I’m doing. yeah, spring ‘17 sem was more chill and fall ‘17 sem was more like hell but, overall I’m pretty excited about the work and studies I get to do. (like hell as in 3 2900-3200-word papers in the span of like 2 weeks)

- Another academic thing, I added Art History (officially) as a Double Major which probably means a winter term here or there but still very exciting. I also feel like I’ve really learned a lot about the fundamentals of art history that I really felt like I was missing this whole time. Just like the basic timeline of movements and key artists from Burgundian Netherlands to Venice to Rococo to Realism to Cubism (and all its various forms) to Der Blauer Reiter to Contemporary and everything in between. All cool stuff - definitely makes you pay attention more to dates and stuff when visiting galleries and museums and just makes me feel more in the know if nothing else.

- Again, another academic thing, I’m officially in the English Honors Program - woo hoo! This does, however, mean I’ll be writing a 25-page thesis but honestly it’ll be fine, I’m fine, it’s all fine... I mean I don’t really know what I’m gonna write about and I have to skype my professor for like 2 months in the summer but hey, it’s all good and if it’s not I’ll just figure it out (*insert nervous sheepish grin here*)

- Kind of started the process of cutting off 아빠 which take that with a grain of salt. It’s a mess tbh, I don’t even know what to say honestly.

- Finally left Slaveway for good. It really tbh started becoming too much of a risk and just uncomfortable for me to stay. Not an awful job (despite the shit customers a lot of the time) but I just couldn’t stay longer.

- I feel like there was also definitely a more solidifying of sustained relationships and a distancing in others. I don’t know definitely still a lot just up in the air and a lot of familiar faces but a lot of new things and stronger bonds in 2017.

(now, post looking at my snapchat memories from the year and realizing how much shit I did this year... lol)

- I went to 2 concerts (kinda); one being 2 Chainz and all of the many acts that came before him at Art Attack 2017 and the other being Khalid’s bomb American Teen Tour concert at the Filmore that I initially just went to because Sam wanted to go and Anh had an extra ticket that ended up being real lit.

- Had like a little fame after writing an Odyssey Online article about Moco which was kinda cool and kinda ridiculous lol. I also just stopped writing for them all together after like less than one sem rip.

- Also realizing I went to a lot of really cool exhibits and art-related things this past year which I’m really happy about actually. Yayoi Kusama’s exhibit was crazy amazing and well worth the wait. Artec house was really cool and just visiting the NGA, the PMA, the Hirshorn, the Freer/Sackler with a fresh and more knowledgeable outlook was really nice. Also starting those solo museum trips during the sem was really nice no matter how short-lived they were.

Honestly this year was very different from 2016 in many many ways. I think there’s been a lot more growth in this past year but I and the community around me definitely went through a lot.

- Something I realized this past year in unfortunate circumstances, was the prevalence of loss and losing individuals close to your community. I never thought things like death, loss, grief, and suicide were things that I would ever come across (let alone, this often) at this age. We really did lose a lot of young lives that were filled with so much potential and hope this past year especially in this community, including an old classmate. Things that we always thought to be intangible and far away landed right in front of us and I don’t think a lot of us including myself still know how to grasp all of that. It’s hard to see the people around you, the ones you grew up with and always had by your side whether you knew them well or not, lead such a tragic fate. This year made us think about mental health more and more. You realize in the most unfortunate circumstances that everyone has there own demons that they’re fighting. No one is free from them. Even in regards to Jonghyun, it affects everyone in the darkest of ways.

This past year really made me think more about how fragile life truly is. I’ve dealt with and still deal with my own demons and the dark thoughts of my past and truly wonder especially in light of all the tragic events from this past year, what things would be like. It would be a lie if I said that they didn’t make me wonder about past thoughts of my own more.

I think it’s sad to think that even as I wonder about all this, I still feel empty about it in the midst of being unable to process it all. I feel like in a way, whether as a result from school distracting me and my own self protecting or shielding itself, I’ve grown numb. I feel like my own mind is trying to avoid emotions at all cost in a way that’s pushing away emotion and problems by just not dealing with them (which by no means is the right way to deal with things at all bc you’re not dealing with anything). I don’t know, I guess I’m getting by and I’m not as broody as I was in the past but I wouldn’t say I’ve improved, I’ve just kind of paused in a way I guess.

I want to end this post with a brighter look toward the future though. I think 2018 has a lot of potential waiting to happen with lots of things to look forward to that I think should be highlighted in this post. After all, a new year means moving forward, not burying your past necessarily but, using the past to cast light on the future.

So with that, things to look forward to in 2018...

- First things first, STUDY ABROAD IN ROME for Spring ‘18 sem! I mean it doesn’t get more exciting and new than this honestly. Yes, I am super stressed and there’s so much stuff to do besides the fact that I’m paranoid and don’t know what to expect at all. I’ve never traveled abroad in my life, let alone lived away from home (ever) so this is just gonna be absolutely nuts tbh. I have lots of hopes though. Do I want a fairytale, movie-like experience? Lowkey, of course. But I also try to be a harsh realist when I can so, we’re staying generally tame about our study abroad fantasies lol. Still, I’m hoping this will be a chance to make new friends and hopefully make some of them in my art history classes as well as in the school in general. It’s been a hard few years in the whole making friends department seeing as how all my past roommates are very antisocial. Yes, I myself am also very much like this but that doesn’t mean my internal self doesn’t want a lot of friends lol. I’m excited to take a class with Evelyn and just experience the city while hopefully staying safe and smart. It’ll be a crazy and hopefully amazing semester with a lot of travel and just a lot of fun before my senior year. I could go on and on about all my thoughts and hopes for this coming semester but, I’ll just leave it at that (your girl really needs to sort her life out/figure out what to pack/pack/schedule the rest of my home excursions/get her documents together/everything else. Bottom line: we’re a mess lol.

- Hopefully a summer internship. Forreal forreal like actually. Your girl was stuck at safeway again this past year and we’re not having that shit again. Nope nuh-uh, not happening. Not this year mm mm, no. We’re gonna find one. We have to - it’s gonna happen. Trust and believe. Trust and believe!

- Also turning 21 this year (although, this probs won’t be exciting seeing as how I’ll be legal all semester while I’m abroad, then come home and be nonlegal for another like 2 months and then be legal again). Look, I’m just looking forward to getting mimosas and going to bars without memorizing random identity information from Illinois.

- Also 2018 is really gonna be a year for me to REALLY think about me. In all contexts, really. Academically; figuring out what it is I really want from my education and working toward making the most out of it, finding a real path for myself in terms of grad school and other things school-related. Lifewise; gauging how I’m going to continue my life. Graduation is coming faster than I can think and by this time next year, I’ll be gearing up for my last semester as an undergrad. That is so wild. 2018 is really gonna be me trying to buckle down, I suppose. Trying to cloud out my peers and their success/failures/paths and really try to hone in on myself. It’ll be a challenge but we’ve got to start somewhere, right?

All in all a lot was thrown onto the table in 2017 in a lot of different ways. It’s been a different kind of roller-coaster with much much more to come after this year (my favorite number year really, 2017). 2018 will be a test of time and one of the biggest challenges but, also hopefully a year with a lot of hope and potential for success. Wishing everyone the brightest new year with health, opportunities, growth, and burgeoning happiness! Cheers to all 2018 has to offer all of us and to all the things 2017 gave us!

#new year's #new year #bye 2017 #hello 2018 #2018 #2017 #일기 #새해 #새해 많이 받아랏 #thoughts #new year new challenges

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