#tried real hard to avoid drawing that other eye lol
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
ale-draws-stuff · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
✨️Mayor Warren✨️
9 notes · View notes
mistydeyes · 1 year ago
Text
half empty glasses with unchanging perspectives
Tumblr media
┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊
summary: You hated time spent alone as it encouraged all your past traumas to come flooding in. Seeking some semblance of relief, you find yourself drinking alone at the pub. However, you regret your decision when you lock eyes with Simon.
part i - behind closed doors part ii - hollow apologies and avoiding glances
pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x gn!reader (but like not even a pairing at this point lol)
okay real talk here and same psa as before but please do not read if you are not comfortable with ANY OF THIS! it is upsetting in all aspects!!
warnings: mentions of torture/violence/cuts/scars, swearing, abusive language, ANGST GALORE
a/n: PART III IS HERE! i busted this out after doing some studying but i hope you enjoy another dose of angst
 💌 @nadinesabre @casualunknownrunaway @originaldeerhottub @justpasssingby @missroro @josieguts @miss-i-ship-it @sicknasty03 @jojoblossom @azwong @shadofireshinobi @caramlizedtomatoes @deltottoro @kenz-ee @teehee-47 @tiredmetalenthusiast @hollowmasque
┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊
You crossed off the calendar marking another “successful” therapy appointment. “Only forty of those fucking crying sessions,” you laughed sardonically. Your hand was smeared with the wet red ink as you sat down on your uniformly made bed. Today was your day off and you fidgeted at the lack of obligations. Most of your colleagues had gone home or spent little time off base. You missed those days when you actually could let your guard down and enjoy the company of others. You sighed as you sunk into your bed, squeezing your eyes tightly as another migraine coursed through your head.
After months since your ordeal, you finally returned to base. Your eyes stung at the fluorescent lights in the hallway and the squeak of military-grade boots. "You alright, Sergeant?" the pharmacist asked as she dispensed a large bag of pills and blister packs to you. "Just a headache," you mumbled as you brought a scarred hand to your face. She had a pleasant smile as she put the bag on the counter "The paracetamol should help," she hummed and you thanked her on your way out of the automatic doors. That night as you counted out 7 different pills of varying size and color, you swallowed them hard with a bottle of water. "God, can't wait until I'm done with these."
Your hand searched for the pill case on your nightstand until you felt the large plastic container. You systematically counted your daily meds, each colored tablet making your stomach churn at the idea. "And another paracetamol for luck," you chuckled to yourself as you swallowed the handful. You continued to stare at the ceiling in absolute boredom. Part of the reason why you hated the silence on base was the creeping thoughts of that dark, cold room. You tried books, drawing, meditation, and even increasing your visits to the gym by twofold. Yet, every time you returned to your quarters, you felt yourself unravel piece by piece.
"Fuck this," you yelled at no one and got up to change into something more presentable. You tried to smooth your hair and poked at the almost naturally appearing eye bags that aged you immensely. Pleasantries of fragrance and accessories weren't your prerogative as you closed your door and walked to inform the appropriate officials of your last-minute decision to leave the base. You tried to suppress the rising anger at the surprised looks on your superiors' faces as well as the turned heads as you climbed into your car. You beat your fingers rhythmically on the steering wheel as you thought of your next actions with all the free time in the world. As your car crept slowly on the street, you took a right turn to the only destination you could think of: the pub.
As you found parking amongst the hundreds of cars, you smiled at the notion of finding solitude along with the drunken crowds and clangs of glasses. You pushed through the loud laughter and cheers as you ordered a single lowball glass of cheap whiskey. You threw your money on the counter and found a quiet corner to peoplewatch. Your throat burned as you swallowed the brown liquor and cursed the hangover you would have in the morning. Your wallowing was interrupted by the loud cheers of a certain group, one you never wanted to see again.
"SHOTS ALL AROUND!" you could hear Soap call as you observed him hand small glasses of a highly flammable liquid around. The group laughed and then slightly cringed at the taste of it. You could feel your hands tighten around the glass as you looked at the group. "So goddamn normal," you mumbled under your breath before you took another drink. You turned your body slightly and shielded yourself from their merriment. You tried to calm your breathing as you drank faster and faster. This was the last fucking thing you needed. "Slow down there, friend," the bartender winked at you as he watched you down the beverage. You rolled your eyes at the suggestion before you continued to look at the half-empty glass.
'You really should slow down," a voice said as he joined on the empty seat next to you. Your body tensed at the voice and you didn't even need to look to know it was your old lieutenant seated next to you. So much for enjoying a night out. "And what the fuck would you know," you shouted over the loud crowd. Your throat winced at the rising tone and ached from the liquor that burned your insides. "I know that those aren't good for the medication you're taking," Simon softly replied and you threw a hand at him in dismissal. "Now who told you that," you countered, "the same man who gave you the go-ahead to keep me in a room and torture me until I confessed."
There was a beat of silence, as for once, Simon was at a loss for words. He thumbed at his frosty glass, letting the condensation drip onto the counter. "Anyways what are you here for?" you asked sarcastically, "wonder how many bodies you boys left before you returned." Simon shook his head at your comment, taking another sip from his drink. He practically finished it, necessitating a refill from the overworked bartender. "What are you getting at, Eclipse?" he replied and you cringed at the use of your old codename. You let out a dry laugh as you casually sipped on the disgusting beverage. "Don't fucking lie, Simon," you said, venom in your tone, "you can come here, drink in victory, but I know how cruel you can be."
You sat uncomfortably for a few moments and looked on at the roaring crowds. The rest of the 141 had dispersed among the patrons but you could feel their piercing gaze on your scarred skin. "Nothing to say, Simon," you cynically laughed again, "god you really haven't changed." From the corner of your eye, you could see how he shifted in his seat and picked at the calluses on his hands. It almost felt relieving seeing the amount of power you held over him in this moment. This should have made you whole again. If not the previous altercation in the hallway, then this right here. But as you looked back down at your glass, you still felt the same painful wounds ooze open.
“It’s nice to see you again, Eclipse,” Ghost spoke, barely reaching an audible volume over the loud pub, “I’m haunted by the things I did to you.” At that, you couldn’t help but let your drink drop on the counter, sloshing a sickly reddish brown liquid across the wood. “Sure you fucking are, Simon,” you mumbled as you looked at the mess, “I hope you have nightmares about the shit you did.” He hung his head in response, taking another long swig of his all-too-expensive drink. “Will you ever forgive me?” he asked and you practically could double over laughing. “Gaz and Soap maybe but as for you and the Captain,” you said lowly as you got up from the stool. You leaned closely to his ear to reiterate your sentiments, “You would have to crawl across the earth for my forgiveness.”
995 notes · View notes
lovelynim · 10 months ago
Note
omggg, congrats on your milestone Fabi, i'm so happy for u <3🪷✨ for the request, uh- may i humbly suggest writing something with lee!Rafayel and ler!Reader? maybe using him as a canvas for real lol- i'm- i'm sorry it's just- ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ🤌🏻
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I didn't expect this many Rafayel's fans to show up in such a short amount of time, hahaha
But since you guys want to see him get got so much, who am I to disagree? ~
Also, my apologies to the last anon, but I'm smushing you together with the other two since it's the same characters, hope you don't mind!
Tumblr media
Thin, thick, long and soft brushes, all scattered around your canvas. A color palette with different shades of red, yellow and orange, perfect to paint a beautiful sunset. If the canvas in question wasn’t putting so much effort in trying to run away, this would probably be the most peaceful painting session you ever experienced. But as Rafayel, a great and known artist once said, “chaos is a symbol of wisdom, every genius has a messy desk”.
“If you don’t stop moving, I’m going to have to start all over, Rafayel,” you tease him, keeping a firm grip around his wrists while you drag the paintbrush all the way from his forearm down to his ribs, leaving a light yellow trace behind. 
“Sohohomeohohone, hehEHEHelp!! T-thihihis is tohohorturehEHEHE!!” Rafayel cried out as if this was some kind of murder attempt. However, no matter how much he pleaded or begged, his words wouldn’t make it to your heart - not this time, not after testing your patience for so damn long.
You click your tongue, shaking your head, pretending to pity the poor artists. “Torture? This is art, Rafayel. And art is supposed to be felt, right?” You smirked, not caring the least about the fresh drops of paint sliding down your canvas and tainting the floor underneath him. “Now, I think we could use some red here,” you explained calmly while Rafayel watched in horror while you dipped the paintbrush in the red ink and brought it back to your canvas - also known as his bare torso.
“NohoHOHOH!!” He laughed, kicking his feet like a little kid throwing a tantrum, but there was no way you were going to let him go this easy. “Plehehehease! I sahAHahaid I’m sohohorry!”
He twisted and turned his body away, trying to avoid at all costs the brush covered in ink that was dancing over his stomach, tickling his tummy with soft and quick strokes, one after the other, over and over again.
“You should feel sorry for making me work so hard just to paint a little,” you grunted, tightening your grip around his wrists while you circled his navel with the paint brush. With a sadistic look on your eyes, you admired his face - a complete mess of laughter, you could barely tell the drops of paint and the natural blush on his cheeks apart. Cute. “Now, I think we need to add another layer of orange here, the colors are a bit bland…”
“AHahAHAHA, i-it’s goohohohod! N-no mohohore lahahayers!!” He laughed, gasping when you tried to draw a little awkward-shaped sun on his chest. The redness on his cheeks was starting to spread down to his neck, the colors of his skin mixing with the ones from the ink, creating something that actually looked like a sunset - well, maybe if you squint your eyes a little, but still a sunset. 
“Ahaha- p-please!” Rafayel wheezed, dropping his head back into the floor tiredly, trying to catch up his breath. His body trembled, tingling all over. “Y-you should let… t-the ink dry before… continuing…”
With the paintbrush still in your hand, you couldn’t help but laugh a little. 
111 notes · View notes
leviathans-body-pillow · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
My height and body headcanons for the brothers
(With my Mc to put their heights in perspective)
I wanted to practice some different body types and drawing different heights next to each other so I thought it would be fun to draw some head canons I have about the boys. (Ignore their lack of hands this already took so long lol)
I’m one of those people that headcanons demons and angels as being large on scar age than humans so Levi and Mams are right around average in height.
Going into detail from tallest ti shortest
Beelzebub
He took a lot of hits during the war shielding his brothers and Lilith so his body is pretty scarred up.
He had a hard time recovering but was never in fatal danger just lots of pain.
Very big boy! Only second to Diavolo in his demon form.
Being an insect type demon he doesn’t dark grow body hair but he does have so light peach fuzz in areas
Lucifer
Used to be toned like his brothers but after years of desk he’s lost a lot of it
Don’t be fooled by his lack of tone he’s still very powerful and muscular. He’s just got a little squish over top from inactivity.
He can feel down about it from time to time.
Only Beel and Mammon know this. Beel, because he’s asked for advice on staying in shape. And Mammon because he drunkenly confided in him about it.
He’s tried to work out multiple times but it seems like every time he picks it up he gets too busy to keep up with it.
A little bit of body hair on his chest and legs with a nice happy trail
He doesn’t have many scars on the front but his back is completely torn up. He almost dyed while healing from his injuries.
Satan
Has the exact same structure as Lucifer he’s just visibly younger and much thinner.
I’m a strong believer that he bleaches his hair
Not much body hair but he does have a bit of a happy trail.
Absolutely no scars as he’s never really seen a real battle.
He’s rather thin in his humanoid form but hulks out do to speak when he’s enraged in his demon form.
Leviathan
Swimmers body. Weaker legs but broad chest and shoulders. Unless he’s in water his muscles are useless since he’s built specifically for swimming.
A few scars but he got out without any major injuries.
No body hair as he’s a aquatic type demon.
Mammon
Very much has a model’s build.
A gold lip piercing, he also has cartilage piercing but their hidden by his hair. He wants more but they make it harder to get modeling gigs
He shaves his body hair except for his happy trail and crotch area. Claims it’s too much work he’s scared of cutting his balls
Doesn’t have any scars from the war. All of his injuries were either internal or too shallow.
Belphegor
The hairiest of the brothers. It grows pretty much everywhere and he doesn’t bother to maintain it.
He’s not very muscular at all, not super thin but not chubby. His body reflects his life style for sure.
Lip ring and a stretched septum piercing
Major eye bags
A few scars but Beel took most of his hits so he didn’t get injured too bad.
Has a few discolored patches on his leg that have always been there, they turn black in his demon form.
Asmodeous
He got fucked up in the war. Almost died after falling and had a very rough recovery. His face and neck got hit the hardest.
He uses a glamor charm to hide the damage to his face. It’s exhausting and uses that majority of his magic to maintain but anything for beauty! He hides his neck with turtle necks and scarves.
Super thin. He works really hard to maintain his toned yet slim appearance.
Tw: ed. We actually know from canon he skips meals, goes on fad diets, and avoids gaining muscle while still trying to work out.
Nipple and belly button piercings.
Goes for regular waxing so his skin his always smooth.
And lastly my Mc for a human comparison
159 notes · View notes
moldy-mold · 2 years ago
Text
Challengeshipping for Year of the OTP - January A combination of artwork + writing!
Kaito and Ryoga arrive at the meetup before Yuma does. They finally have a talk.
___
“It’s time you stay out of this, Kaito. None of this even concerns you.”
Kaito’s eyes narrow at Ryoga, who avoids making eye-contact. They were alone waiting for Yuma to arrive for their rendezvous at sunrise. Obviously, he will be late.
Ryoga’s offhanded comments are a common occurrence. In fact, every time they see each other, they both feel the need to squabble. This isn’t anything new, and yet it feels different this time.
“And you expect me to listen to you?” He always has to say something back.
“No one asked you to join us, and we don’t need your help. So, it’d be better if you’d just stay here this time,” Ryoga says flatly, still looking away.
Perhaps the constant bickering wore Kaito’s patience thin. He had always brushed off these comments as simply banter among the three of them, thinking it was just Ryoga’s way of being... himself. But Yuma isn’t here and the tension is heavier than he would like. Doubt begins to flood his mind, flowing from the root of his distress.
“Do you really hate me that much? Because of what I did to you?” Frustration bleeds into his tone.
Ryoga finally looks up to meet his piercing, icy gaze. Clearly, he somehow opened up a can of worms. “What the hell are you talking about? I’ve forgotten all about that, so why are you bringing that up now all of a sudden?”
Kaito scoffs. It’s hard to believe Ryoga would forget the night Kaito sent him into a coma.
“You don’t trust me. I’ve stood in your way in the past and you know full well I won’t hesitate to do it again. So, you’re right. I should just handle things myself as I’ve always done.”
Ryoga is utterly astonished—and irritated—at what he’s hearing, but he tries, “That’s not what I meant! This isn’t something you can just jump into. Think about this for a sec, will you? Listen, I-I just don’t want you-”
“Since when have you stopped to think about anything before jumping in? Maybe if you did, you wouldn’t end up getting hurt so many times!” He shouts, but not at Ryoga. He is blaming himself.
The calm and collected Kaito he knew was nowhere to be seen. Ryoga curses himself for not being more eloquent with his words because he feels as though he is starting to lose him.
Kaito may be an excellent duelist, but at the end of the day, he’s just an ordinary human, that much is true. To face this crisis alone is asking for death. If Kaito went and got himself killed, Yuma would never forgive him. And… what about him? What was Kaito to him?
As Kaito turns to walk away, Ryoga catches the subtle hurt in his expression. Without thinking, he grabs onto his arm.
Tumblr media
Year of the OTP  ◇  January  ◇  First Kiss
Omg, I can’t believe I wrote something (feral Moldy is real). I’ve never written anything outside of a script before but I just don’t have time/patience to draw a whole comic for one scene lol!
I have no details on when/where this happens in the canon timeline. :)
34 notes · View notes
bimrsadler · 3 years ago
Note
Hello! As a treat, may I request Arthur x f!Reader with number 62. "Bed. Now." (I rarely make such requests, so I hope it's okay 💖)
Prompt: “Bed. Now.”
A/N: Thank you for the request, and of course it’s okay! I made this a little longer than I intended because I have a hard time controlling myself lol, hopefully this is to your liking. 😊
Pairing: Arthur Morgan x f!Reader
Warnings/tags: nsft, nothing too crazy - just good ol’ fashioned smut, language
Word count: 1215
—————
The train robbery was risky and dangerous, but ultimately fruitful. Very fruitful. The gang scored enough money to live comfortably for a while, move closer to their plan of total freedom or hell, both. It didn’t really matter which to you. What mattered was that you were alive and tonight was a night of firsts. Your body was still humming from the electric thrill of it all.
Before this you’d mostly been delegated to chores or small jobs like pickpocketing drunk assholes, but this was your first chance to join in on the real fun. It didn’t go perfectly, some of the passengers fought back and the guards tried their best to do their jobs. Minor injuries were sustained and bullets narrowly avoided which was an entirely new experience for you.
The gang split up during the escape, some going carefully towards camp, others waiting it out in a nearby saloon. You on the other hand, made your exit with Arthur on the back of his horse. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist with warm wind blowing in your hair as his loyal steed carried you away from the law, and to an abandoned cabin. Arthur informed you it was safe, as he’d used it for shelter between jobs like this, or for shelter during bad weather. It was sparse but nice enough with a bed and fireplace.
Still feeling intoxicated you hopped up onto the empty table in the middle of the room to catch your breath. “Damn that was exciting, ain’t ever done anything like that,” you laughed.
“That was one of the better ones for sure.” Arthur slowly sauntered over to you. “You did good tonight,” he said with a slight bashfulness.
Your body flushed with warmth in response to his praise, suddenly realizing it wasn’t just the outlaw life that was flooding you with exhilaration, but also the outlaw in front of you. The air became heavy with a tense silence, both anticipating the other to say something. You had each felt it building for months now, too stubborn or too scared to do anything about the chemistry that had grown. Being the first real opportunity to have privacy, the anticipation was palpable.
Your bodies were mere inches apart as Arthur set one hand on the table beside your hip. Utilizing your rush of fearlessness, you pulled him in for a hungry kiss, slow and firm. Wrapping your legs around his waist, Arthur’s body relaxed against yours. His strong arms finally embraced you, eyes fully closed and lost in the sensation.
Unexpectedly breaking the union, Arthur took a step back to look down at you. “Are you sure ’bout this?”
“I’ve wanted this for longer than you know. I’m sure.” You placed a reassuring hand on his chest.
“Well, I uh…I have too,” he admitted sheepishly. “I just…don’t wanna disappoint ya.”
“Arthur Morgan - you rob banks and shoot lawmen.” You began working at the buttons and ties on your dress as Arthur watched expectantly. “You don’t have to be afraid of me. Take what you want.”
A flame ignited in Arthur as he surged forward, drawing you impossibly close to his warm body. You felt his member pressed against your heat while he reciprocated the desperate kisses. The front of your dress was loosened enough for his rugged hands to massage your exposed breasts, groaning as if it were the first time he ever touched a woman. Abruptly stepping back he removed his gun belt and stripped down to his union suit. You watched as he palmed his bulge through the fabric, anxiously awaiting his touch to return to you. He brought his free hand to gently stroke the soft skin of your cheek, gingerly running his thumb over your lips before parting them. You allowed him in and sucked gently as he sighed with need.
All he could manage was two gruffly commanded words. “Bed. Now.”
Arthur’s sudden dominance was a bigger rush than the robbery. You did as you were told, removing what you could from underneath your dress as you made your way over. Arthur was impatient however, his large frame driving you down to the mattress before you finished. Roughly pulling your dress above you hips and parting your thighs he inserted two fingers into your wetness, gliding in with ease. “Damn sweetheart, this is for me?”
“Yes!” You moaned as your walls fluttered around his moving fingers. “I need you now Arthur!”
Unable to wait any longer you pushed Arthur up to his knees and unbuttoned his union suit enough to release the hardness between his legs. He allowed you to work him in your hand briefly before returning you to your back as he plunged into your entrance. “You got me girl, you got me…” his husky voice whispered into your ear as you felt him stretch you and reach your core with a pleasant burn. You exhaled with satisfaction, he definitely was not a disappointment.
After a moment of stillness, Arthur brought your hips flush with his own, setting your legs on his broad shoulders. Thrusting in and out of you he set an unyielding pace with a bruising grip on your waist. The bed squeaked beneath the sharp movements, the headboard a steady thump behind you. Arthur was wordless for some time, grunting and panting with an intense gaze as he took his pleasure. Any concerns of decorum or decency were gone by then, and instead replaced with the need to find the release with you he was so pent up for. No thinking, just doing.
Moving his thumb to your clit, he used languid strokes and delicate circles to bring you closer to your peak. You couldn’t help writhing and bucking as the pleasure from the girth inside matched the pleasure from the stimulation outside. “You like that?” The tone in his voice was cocky as he stared down at you, a smirk on his prideful face.
“It feels so good Arthur, and I take it you like bein’ inside me?” You winked.
“Oh you have no idea,” Arthur panted, his voice becoming shaky. “So wet…and warm. It’s been so long...” It became apparent that you were not a disappointment either and he wanted this for some time.
Gripping Arthur’s forearms you found your bliss as his thumb performed the final movements needed to put you over the edge. You swore you could pass out as the waves of pleasure mixed with all of the other thrills of the night. The rolling of your hips against him and tight pulsations around his cock brought Arthur’s own climax. He braced himself with one arm against the headboard and pulled himself to completion in the other, breathy praises and moans falling from his lips.
After cleaning up Arthur lit a fire and helped you out of the rest of your dress. The two of you were so frantic with lust you hadn’t even undressed properly or taken the time to appreciate each other. He made sure to look you over with gratefulness and let you know how beautiful you were.
“Sorry it took me so damn long to make a move…” he ran a calloused hand over your soft thigh.
“Way I see it, we can always make up for lost time...”
137 notes · View notes
shadyteacup · 4 years ago
Note
Could you write something where reader has a nightmare about port mafia Dazai going after her, when Dazai wakes up to her freaking out in her sleep he tries waking her up and when she does she still thinks she’s dreaming? Eventually she calms down but feels really bad picturing Dazai like that :(( angst to comfort
I'm back from the dead! I didn't use fem pronouns because I didn't have to, but since u requested it, the reader is fem .. I feel that this is more of a comfort fic if the reader is Dazai himself, lol.. Sorry it took so long..
Osamu Dazai x Fem! Reader||Warnings: violence, nightmare.|| Angst to comfort|| Word count: 1482.
Nightmare
Tumblr media
You had known Dazai since his mafia days. You were a friend of Nakahara Chuuya, and had bumped into Dazai when the you and Chuuya were meeting up after your school. You knew that Chuuya was involved in gangs and probably violence, but he was your friend, and you trusted him.
"So, how was school?"
He asked you, hands in his pockets. It had been a few weeks since he had contacted you. He looked different, almost as if these past few weeks have scarred him. His clothes were more expensive. You could tell by their fancy look and glimmer. His jacket was probably genuine leather. He adorned a strange but cute hat too.
"It was okay. Where have you been?"
He glanced at you, raising a bow.
"You must have robbed a bank or something to afford that jacket. It looks really dope, by the way."
He shrugged, avoiding your gaze.
Sighing, he began talking as you two made your way to the park.
...
Sitting down on the swing, you gave the ground a light kick, enough to rock you slightly.
Chuuya sat on the swing adjacent to yours.
"So you joined the mafia. Interesting. "
He was confused as to why you weren't alarmed about his revelation.
"And you're okay with that?"
You shrugged.
"As long as you don't get me killed, or anyone I care about is hurt, I'm cool. Besides, you always find a way to fall into trouble. This isn't new."
"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you."
"Great."
You heard shuffling behind you. Without turning back, you said,
"You can join us, you know. You don't have to keep hiding. You're doing a really bad job anyways."
"Who're you talking to?"
"The spy in the bushes."
Chuuya swiftly turns around, ready to attack, when Dazai peeps out of the green mesh.
"Dazai, what the hell are you doing here?!"
And that's how you had met your boyfriend. You had seen him in action a couple of times too. It scared you, but you were able to appreciate the human in him.
...
It was pitch black. You couldn't see a thing. Your hands were probably tied behind your back. You could feel the rough threads of the rope dig into your wrists. It hurt. You tried maneuvering your way out of the knots, only for them to grow tighter. Wincing at the pain, you tried to sit up. You were lying on the cold, hard floor of some abandoned building. Your captor was yet to reveal himself.
Pushing yourself up, you quickly got a hold over yourself. Trying to maintain balance, you tried your best to peer through the dark. Soon enough, your eyes adjusted, and you could see that you were in a small room. You could spot the door. Nothing sharp resided near you. You couldn't cut off the rope. Well, you just have to run out of here then. As you were about to reach the door, it flew open.
You gasped, taking a few steps back.
"Thought you could escape? How cute."
Dazai stood at the door. You felt relieved. Maybe he was here to help you! But the look on his face and the sneer at his lips said otherwise.
"Dazai! Thank God you're here. Help me out of these ropes-"
You were cut short as you were suddenly slammed into a wall. The impact and the sudden movement made you gasp.
Dazai stood in front of you, his hands gripping your shoulders tightly, and his knuckles had turned white from the pressure he was applying.
You were sure his fingers would break through the cloth of your shirt and draw blood from your shoulders.
One of his eyes was covered in bandages, while the other was glaring down at you. His entire aura was different.
No. Rather, it was something you hadn't sensed in a long time.
His long black trench coat hung loosely over his shoulders as he towered over your shaking form.
"In case I haven't made it clear; You're not getting out of here. Not alive, that is."
He threw you forcefully to the side. You banged into a wooden desk. The edge hit the right side of your torso. You winced in pain before dropping to the ground. You felt a kick on your stomach. Your entire body lurched forward at the impact.
"Hah! Stop! Please..."
Your words were futile. He kept carelessly plunging his hard boot into your torso. You were sure that you'd broken a few ribs. They had probably pierced your lungs. You could feel blood rise up your throat.
"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. what.. did I do..?"
You kept repeating these words, trying to get him to stop. Somewhere along the process your ropes had loosened, but didn't have the energy to free yourself. It would be in vain anyways, since he won't let you step foot outside the door.
After a few more kicks, he finally stopped, crouching down to your eye level.
"You're so pathetic. Goodbye, Y/N."
He pulled out a gun and shot you in the face.
...
You jerked awake, sweat glistening on your forehead and your breaths were shaky and uneven. Dazai woke up from the sudden movement, trying to guage the situation.
"What's wrong?"
His voice sent shivers down your spine, and you scurried off the bed. You placed a hand over your torso, trying to find the bruises that he had probably left.
"Y/N?"
Dazai asks as he slowly makes his way over to you. When you notice him coming tour way, you panic.
"No! Don't come closer! Please! I'm sorry!"
Dazai froze in his place. He knew you were having a nightmare, he just didn't know he was the one making it scary.
"Okay, I won't. Tell me what's wrong."
You stood shaking, back to the wall as you tried making sense of your surroundings. You were able to make out the bed and the bedroom. The room that the two of you shared. It was dark. Probably nighttime. You were just having a bad dream. That wasn't real. This is. Dazai won't hurt you. He isn't in the mafia anymore.
"Y-you won't..  hurt me?"
Your frightened stare and broken whispers broke Dazai's heart. What did you dream? Did you see him as a monster? Is he being a monster to you? Dreams are only reflections of our subconscious minds. So do you fear him?
"No, I won't hurt you."
He says, trying to calm you down.
"Promise?"
You whispered.
"I promise. I won't ever hurt you. Ever."
You gulped down your fear and slowly inched over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. He stool completely still, fearing that if he moved even a little, he might scare you. You placed your cheek on his chest, inhaling his scent. It really was him. It was your Dazai.
When you realized what had just happened, tears began flowing down your cheeks.
"I'm so sorry.."
You managed to say between sobs.
Dazai hesitantly placed his arms over you, gently rocking you.
"Shh.. Don't cry. It's okay now."
"I'm so sorry.."
"Why are you sorry, sweetheart? It was just a dream, right."
You nodded against his chest.
"But I made you the villain. You're not a bad guy. You're amazing. I don't know why... I can't think of a reason why I saw you..  like that.."
Dazai's heart broke a little more.
"Maybe I am a monster. I'm just too good at hiding it."
His ominous tone wasn't meant to warn you. It was a result of his own self hate. He hated that he used to be a monster. If he hadn't known you, then maybe a couple of years ago, he wouldn’t have thought twice before hurting you.
"No, you're not. You're a child hiding under a strong façade. "
Dazai's eyes widened at that.
"What?"
You pulled back, wiping your tears off your face.
"I saw it the first time we met. You were just a child who was asked to grow up too fast. You hadn't lived your childhood. Under all the threats, jests, murders and plans, you're but a scared child."
He just stared at you.
"That's part of the reason why I trust you. I know you didn't mean to harm. You were just told to. Now that you have a chance to do what you truly want to do, you choose to not harm. I really admire that about you."
You caressed his cheek in your palm.
"I don't know why I dreamt what I just did, but if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that you would never hurt me. I trust you."
Those three words.
'I trust you'.
They were enough for Dazai. They meant so much to him.
With a shaky whisper, he muttered.
"Thank you."
You smiled, pulling him in an embrace.
Tumblr media
275 notes · View notes
shorkbrian · 4 years ago
Note
💖💘my heart’s dizzy and I my dose of serotonin whenever I read your prose🤟🏽😩 was wondering if you could do reader with an erratic future-vision!quirk so when they first meet yandere!Hawks they’re suddenly plagued by erotic, sensual, 365days-level of disturbing visions of them, so reader actively avoids them (it’s like those Tik Tok future-seeing videos playing to “Play Date”)
Prelude - Hawks isn’t a famous pro-hero in this, but he still has his quirk. It’s not really mentioned a bunch tho lol.  This is rlly long, but I decided not to put it into two parts because the smut is so slight lol. Hope this meets your expectations anon, thank you for reading!
Pairing -  Keigo Takami X Reader
Warnings - NSFW mentions, dubcon, noncon. No out-and-out explicit smut, just a really long story. Hawks is manipulative and gets what he wants
Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5ukAQcKEIJuzIbP55xp07x?si=iz6I-RoDSdCNYhT2Du8etg
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He was a friend of a friend, someone you had only met once or twice.
Your friend kept bringing him to hangouts, he kept showing up on her instagram feed,  getting mentioned in her twitterbio, and eventually it came out that they had started dating. It didn’t catch anyone by surprise.
What did catch you by surprise, was how infatuated with him your friend was.
“He’s just sooooo hot, isn’t he?” She squealed, shoving her phone in your face to show off a shirtless pic he had just sent her.
You nodded in agreement, quickly appraising the pic before turning your head. Yeah, her boyfriend was attractive, but you weren’t one to ruin relationships. Plus, you and Keigo had never really talked past the brief “Hey” and “Wassup?” said in greeting when introduced the first time.
“Can he come to the mall with us on Friday? I promise there will be no third wheeling.” Your friend begged, clasping her hands together. You thought about it for a second - this had been a fun shopping trip the two of you had planned a few weeks ago, meant as a girls date on a day the mall wouldn’t be crowded. But would it really hurt anything if her boyfriend came along? Probably not.
“Yeah, I don’t mind.” You shrugged, watching your friends face erupt into a wide grin. “But don’t ditch me to go makeout in a bathroom or something, got it?”
“Sir yes sir!” Your friend faux saluted, before patting you on the shoulder. “Thanks girlie!”
You jerked back, head suddenly swarming with visions, your quirk activating. Your quirk was helpful in some ways, but you mainly tried not to use it - headaches resulted, and you hated getting glimpses of the future. Sometimes they’d be good, but they were often bad - you had gotten a screenshot glimpse of your brothers death, his face marred and bleeding out onto the pavement.
It still made you sick to think about it.
Touch wasn’t something you could always avoid, but you tried, seeing as how it activated your quirk, giving you visions of your future with whomever you touched, or whoever touched you.
You saw your friends face, eyes puffy with tears, shouting something. Then another scene flashed, your friend on TV, talking to a reporter.
Thankfully, the visions ended, this episode relatively quick due to how short of a time she touched you.
“Oh shit, I forgot, I’m so sorry.” She rushed to apologize, holding her hands up and backing away from you.
“It’s-it’s fine.” You wheezed, waving your hand in the air to signal that it wasn’t a big deal. The vision just probably meant the two of you would get into a fight soon, which wasn’t uncommon.  It was fine, you were fine.
——
The mall wasn’t too crowded, which made the day pleasant. Your friend was talking to her boyfriend, hand tangled with his as the three of you walked in.
“So (Y/N), what do you think about that new Victoria’s Secret launch?” Your friend bumped you with her hip, drawing your attention as she pulled you into the conversation between her and her boyfriend.
“Oh, um… what?” To be fair, you had zoned out when the couple started being gross and mushy, which was like, the second your friend met Keigo at the door.
The blonde man laughed. “Victoria’s Secret just launched a new line of lingerie, have any thoughts about it?”
Turning red, you smiled sheepishly. “Ah, well…. From what I’ve seen of their stuff it’s… nice? So I’m sure it’s good.”
Your friend mock-gasped, almost slapping you on the arm before quickly remembering your quirk, drawing her hand back. You gave a quick nod of thanks.
“(Y/N)! Don’t tell me you didn’t even know about it?! I practically live, eat, and sleep Victoria’s Secret, it’s impossible to miss their product drops when you’re one of my friends.”
Unsure how to respond, you floundered, opening and closing your mouth like a lost fish.
“Babe, leave her be, she’s probably just shy.” Keigo stepped in, giving his girlfriend a chuckle as he steered you both towards a shop.
“Fineeee.” Your friend whined, turning to focus on the task ahead. “They have a VS shop here though, you’re not getting out of here without going in with me!”
----
The VS store was huge, smelling sweetly of flowers, bright colors assaulting your vision, soft pop music filling your ears.
It was hard not to cringe at all the fancy lingerie, you were honestly a bit embarrassed to be strolling through the store with your friend, let alone her boyfriend by her side.
“Does-does Keigo mind?” You quietly asked your friend, out of earshot of her boyfriend, who was looking at perfumes, last time you checked.
“Not at all birdie, I’m used to clothes, any form, any shape.”
You whirled around, squeaking in surprise at Keigo, who had apparently finished with browsing the perfume. He was flashing you a 1000 watt grin, continuing with what he was saying. “I’m a model, practically every girl I’ve ever met I’ve seen in less than full underwear, it’s no big deal.”
“Oh…. Cool.” You offered, cheeks turning red again. You felt like such a blushing schoolgirl, turning red when faced with looking at bras and panties, flushing when a man got too close.
It was the nature of the store, you told yourself, that was making you so embarrassed.
“Oo! What do you think of this one?” Your friend was holding up a babydoll, pink, with light fabric and zero coverage.
Keigo wolf whistled. “Man, that’d be a good look for you. Lets buy it.” The couple moved on, pointing at different clothes, your friend occasionally picking one from the rack to hold up against her body, looking for Keigo’s opinion.
They were cute together, laughing over the cheesy names on the tags of the lingerie, holding hands as the browsed, your friend occasionally stopping to plant a kiss on her boyfriend’s cheek.
“I think that’s everything that I like…. (Y/N), your turn!” Pulled out of your casual observance, you back pedaled. “Me? No, I’m not really the type to wear this kind of stuff - I don’t even think most of it would fit, I have weird proportions.“
“Nonsense!” Keigo looked around for a moment, going to the nearest rack to quickly sift through bras, before pulling one out. “This one would make all the boys drool over you honey.”
He held it out towards you, shaking it slightly when you hesitated to take it. Was your friend okay with him talking to you like that, pushing underwear at you to buy? A quick glance sideways showed she was more than okay with it, clasping her hands excitedly as she watched you.
The bra was sheer, soft lavender fabric forming the cups, an intricate embroidered detail of flowers dotted haphazardly over the bra. It was pretty, but you weren’t exactly partial to it. When would you wear it? Who would you wear it for? You weren’t sure it was your style. Plus, it probably wasn’t even your size.
“My arm’s gettin’ real tired.” Keigo joked, before you finally took the garment from him. Checking the size, you paused for a second, blinking towards the man.
“How did you-?”
“You spend enough time in the fashion industry, you learn to tell a girl’s size just by looking at her.”  He seemed to puff up, as if he was proud of his bra-sizing skills.
“Let me help her pick out some things too!” Your friend cried, rushing past you to head over to the next rack, ushering you to follow with a wave of her hand.
You ended up with an armful of lingerie - bras, panties,  an odd bustier or two, and some other flowy items, like a sheer robe and a lacy chemise. The choices weren’t exactly made by you, more so made by a combination of your friend and Keigo together. They had alternated holding up items towards your body, comparing color and garment cuts, lost in their own mushy-gushy world, and it was almost like you didn’t exist for a few moments, nothing more than a barbie doll to dress up.
But now the three of you stood in line to checkout, and you felt included again, your friend cracking jokes that were making you snort, Keigo watching the two of you interact.
Until your friend accidentally brushed against your arm as she shifted forward in line.
Again, you saw her tearful face, heard her sobbing, before the other scene flashed, of her on TV, talking to the reporter. She still looked upset, eyes rimmed red, nose running, hair a mess.
With a gasp, your vision returned to the present, and you were wobbling on your feet, almost falling.
“Oh god, I’m so sorry (Y/N), I’m so so sorry. Here, let me take that, go sit down by the entrance.” She fussed over you, face concerned as she carefully took the stack of clothes from your arms, making sure to not make contact.
“Oh fuck, is she alright?” You heard Keigo ask, your friend stepping in front of you as he moved forward to check on you.
“Yeah, she’s just feeling a little dizzy. Can you make sure she doesn’t fall and crack her head open? Just wait by the entrance please.”
“Okay. Oh, here-“ You were a bit dazed, but you saw Keigo fish his wallet out of his pocket, thrusting the entire thing into his girlfriends hands before patting her on the shoulder “Whichever card is fine.”
And then you were stumbling towards the entrance, towards the bench right outside.
You hated seeing the future. Why was your friend crying? What had happened to elicit such a reaction? The unknowns killed you, kept you up at night as you tried to puzzle out the events that could lead up to the scenes from your visions.
Not looking where you were going, you tripped on air, unable to catch yourself as you plummeted towards the ground.
But then you were seeing Keigo.
He was above you, face flushed and sweaty, hair tousled, his chest bare. The room was dark, barely lit, and he was so close. The man leaned down to kiss you, then the scene changed.
You were bent over a table, only able to see the solid wood your face was smushed against. There was a heat in your belly, a tingling between your thighs, and pressure. Someone was talking - Keigo, muttering behind you angrily. You head was pulled up, a hand fisted in your hair, and then one of your knees was pushed up onto the table, and the pressure inside exploded into pure pleasure.
You felt yourself screaming, bucking your hips as you suffered through whatever the feeling was.
The scene changed again.
Hands tied above your head, you were pressed against a wall, sitting on some kind of…. Saddle? Your legs couldn’t touch the ground, and you squirmed, before gasping loudly.
There was a nub in the seat, ribbed and textured, slick with some kind of liquid… From you? Then you saw Keigo, standing in front of you, smirking at you with hardened eyes.
He had something in his hand, arms crossed over his chest while he fiddled with the object, muscles flexing. He was shirtless again, and-and his cock was hanging out of his sweatpants, pressed against his belly, smearing precum over his skin.
You tried to say something, anything - the visions never lasted this long, it was too intense, there was so much sensation. But your mouth wouldn’t move, choked up.
Keigo’s hand was on his length, rubbing slowly, saying something that didn’t reach your ears.
The scene changed.
Something was shoved down your throat, warm and twitching. You were sobbing, choking, clawing at whatever was in front of you. A dark laugh filled your ears, and you opened your eyes, met with the clenching abs of a strong stomach.
Keigo was brushing your tears, no, smudging them over your face. Were you wearing makeup? His cock was sitting in your throat, his hips moving in tiny jerks, stabbing your esophagus, making you gag.
Then you were back in the present.
A hand was holding your arm, keeping you from falling and making contact with the hard floor.
“-N)? (Y/N)? Are you okay? Talk to me birdie”
You made a panicked noise, pulling yourself out of Keigo’s grip so fast that you fell flat on the floor, scrambling backwards away from the man.
He almost looked scared, confused as he followed after you, holding out his hands. “(Y/N), you gotta calm down, you’re gonna make yourself sick.”
The man reached for your arm again and you pressed yourself against the floor, screeching out a loud “No!!” before he could touch you. Keigo paused, looking at his hand, then at you. “Hey, hey, I’m not gonna touch you. It’s okay little birdie, you’re alright.” He cooed, sinking to his knees in front of you.
You were hyperventilating, wide eyes trained on Keigo. Your thoughts were swirling in your head, you couldn’t focus, the sensations of the future still echoing through your body.
Keigo crouched there while you steadied your breathing, talking to you the entire time, trying to help you relax and calm down. You weren’t sure what he was saying, something about the weather? Or a dog? But you could feel your breathing evening out, head clearing.
“Hey, she fall?” You friend was carrying two bags, crouching down beside Keigo, cocking her head at you.
Her boyfriend nodded, turning to her and taking one of the bags. “I caught her, but then she freaked out and fell for real.”
Your friend nodded. “I should’ve told you earlier, she has a touch-based quirk. Every time someone touches her, she sees snippets of her future with that person.”
Keigo cocked his own head, gazing at you curiously. “I guess her future with me isn’t too positive then?”
Your friend shrugged. “Eh, she just hates seeing parts of the future. She doesn’t want to know what’s going to happen, makes her worry or something like that. Don’t take it too personally, she’s like that with everyone.”
“It-it-“ you rasped out, causing both sets of eyes to swivel towards you. “-I hate it... because-‘cause I can’t ever cha-change it.” You shivered.
Keigo nodded in understanding, before rising to his feet. “Think you can walk to my car? I’ll drive you two home, I think you’d benefit from some rest.”
He dropped you off at your apartment, and you wearily waved at the couple as they drove off, before heading inside.
----
A week passed, then two.
The visions you had concerning Keigo were plaguing your mind, filling your body with anxiety. There had been a distinctive feel of fear during each one, and despite all the other various sensations felt, the most overwhelming had been distress.
Whatever was going to happen, you weren’t going to like it.
You were holing up in your apartment, ignoring your roommates when they knocked on your door, only leaving your room to eat or grab water. You couldn’t sleep, too scared you’d have dreams, or more accurately, nightmares of what you had seen.
Curse your quirk.
Trying to pass time, desperate to keep your mind off of the future, you threw yourself into any activity you could find.
First you tried coloring - it was supposed to be relaxing, but it gave you too much time to think.
Then you tried gaming, spending hours in front of your computer mashing the keys. That worked for a bit, but your eyes and head soon protested.
You listened to music at full volume, tried several workout videos, even resorted to cleaning your space with fervent energy.
None of it took your mind off the inevitable.
“(Y/N), someone’s at the door asking for you.” You jerked awake, slumped over uncomfortably on the floor, the half finished card tower in front of you promptly knocked over at your erratic movements.
“(Y/N)?” Your roommate called again.
“Yeah! Coming, sorry.” You mumbled, scrubbing sleep from your eyes. You guess your body would give out sometime and force you to fall asleep, but as you moved to stand, you sorely wished your body had chosen a more comfortable place to pass out.
Opening the front door, you immediately took a cautious step back, sleepy demeanor vanishing.
Keigo smiled at you, one hand in the pocket of his jeans, the other holding a bouquet of flowers.
Flowers?
“Hey birdie, mind if I come in?”
You stared at him for a second, immediately on guard. Why did he have flowers? Why did he want to come in? Wasn’t he dating your friend? She didn’t live here, what was he doing here?
The man cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow at you. You moved to the side, holding open the door for Keigo to come inside.
Your roommates were home. If anything happened, they would be within earshot.
Keigo shot you a smile and a thanks, before immediately moving into the small living room, taking a seat on the couch. When he saw you still hovering by the open door, he patted the cushion beside him.
“Come sit, I promise I don’t bite.” He thought for a moment, before grinning. “Well, not unless you want me to.”
Hesitantly, you shut the front door, going to sit in a ratty armchair further away from the winged man. If this bothered him, the man didn’t let it show other than a short pause before he spoke.
“So, I know it probably seems like, super weird for me to show up at your apartment, but hear me out.”
Flowers were shoved in your lap, Keigo taking great care to avoid touching you.  “I felt bad about the other day, and my girl and I decided that we should get you some flowers. She picked ‘em out, it even says so on the note.”  The man laughed, running a hand through his hair.
“She’s so uptight about this kinda stuff. Anyways, just wanted to say that I’m sorry for grabbing you like that. If I had known, I would’ve let you fall flat on your ass. But I know now, so I’ll be better, cool with you?”
Finishing his little speech, Keigo held out his hands, wings stretching behind him to mimic the gesture.
Looking at the flowers in your lap, you felt your hands shaking. Picking up the little note attached to the bouquet, you found that your friend had indeed picked out the flowers, which made sense. They were your favorites, and in a nice color too.  Keigo had left a messy, scrawled “Sorry!” in one corner, before signing by his girlfriends name.
“Um, thank you Keigo, you didn’t have to apologize.” You murmured, rubbing one of the flower petals between your fingers. You were so glad your quirk extended solely to humans - if you were shown glimpses of the future of everything you touched, you would most likely go mad.
“Nah, I wanted to. Also wanted to swing by, check how you’re doing. You been taking care of yourself?” He relaxed on the couch, legs spread, arms resting behind his head. This wasn’t his home, yet you totally could believe that it was by the ease with which he owned the space with his presence.
“Oh, well… I’m still here, so…” You shrugged.
Keigo frowned. “That’s not a fun answer. How much sleep you been gettin’ each night? Eight hours?”
You shook your head, huffing out a breath in place of a laugh.
Keigo clicked his tongue. “No sleep? That’s bad for you y’know. Have you at least been drinking water? Eatin’?”
You nodded quickly, looking up to meet the man’s gaze. “I’m not a kid. I appreciate your concern, but it’s not necessary.”
At this point, you think the best thing for your health would be for the man to leave.
The blonde man stared at you for a moment, before sighing. “Alright, I get it. But I don’t want to hear that you’ve passed out or something, got it? Your friend would kill me.”
He rose to his feet, and so did you, walking him to the door. “Thanks Keigo, and thank you again for the flowers. That was very sweet of you both.”
Keigo beamed, giving a two fingered salute. “You deserve it birdie. Well, have a good rest of your day, yeah? Eat something.”
You smiled, at Keigo as he turned away, beginning to whistle as he strolled down the hall.
Once the door was shut, you found a vase for the flowers, filling it with water and setting it on the table. Your roommates would think it was pretty, and it was, a nice little centerpiece.
That really was nice of your friend and Keigo to offer you flowers.
——
“Welcome to Gold Nile Jewelers, how can I-“ You blinked at the man entering the shop. “-Keigo.”
“Birdie? You work here?” He looked just as confused as you felt, cocking his head to the side as he approached the counter.
You looked around the small display room, nodding your head. “Yep… You looking for anything specific today?”
“Ah, right!” He clasped his hands together, bending over to lean on the display counter as he looked up at you. “So professional (Y/N), it’s just me.” The man chuckled.
“Actually, I thought I’d get my girl a cute little bracelet or something like that, you think she’d like that?”
Knowing your friend, she’d be ecstactic. “Oh, absolutely. Any particular occasion, or just an “I love you gift”?” You asked, already running through the list of bracelets in stock.
“It’s our two month anniversary in another week, thought I’d get her a little sumn’ sumn’, y’know?”
Gold Nile Jewelers was an expensive store. You patted yourself on the back for not dropping your jaw when he said “two month anniversary”. People came here for wedding rings and special occasion jewelry, not monthly anniversaries like some high schoolers.
Well, unless they were rich.
You showed Keigo the selection of bracelets currently available, the man listening quietly to your product descriptions and recommendations, asking questions about the fit and feel, and if you think your friend would like a particular one.
“Honestly Keigo, I could choose one I think she’d like, but it’d be more special if you chose for her.” You finally told him.  He wasn’t annoying you, but you felt frustrated with his apparent lack of knowledge about his girlfriend. How did he not know what her favorite color was? “I’d suggest coming back in a few days. Go home, see what kind of jewelry she wears, pay attention to the colors she gravitates towards, if she’s allergic to any metals.”
Keigo tapped his chin. “Hmm, you have a good point. I guess I should pay more attention to those kinds of things.”
You nodded as you began to pack the expensive bracelets back into their display cases. “Gifts for a significant other can be hard. Honestly, it means a lot if they pick it out themselves and surprise you with it. Makes it special.”
“Oh, you have a partner?” Keigo asked, bright eyes watching your hands work.
A frown almost crossed your features, but you stopped it before it could show. “Ah, sorry, that’s not really a work-appropriate question.”
“Awh, c’mon! It’s just me, we’re friends, can’t you tell me?” Keigo pouted, batting his eyelashes at you in an exaggerated, dramatic fashion. The display made you laugh, so you indulged him. After all, he was a friend. No harm in telling him something he was bond to know sooner or later.
“I’m actually single right now. But as a jeweler sale associate, I know how much it means to a person when their partner picks out a gift for them, especially if it’s a surprise.”
Keigo nodded his head solemnly.  “That makes sense. I better follow your advice then eh? Find out what she likes-“ he mused “-I can do that.”
“Good luck Keigo!” You called after him as he strolled through the door, waving when he smiled at you, giving that same, goofy two fingered salute that he always did when saying goodbye.
The man unnerved you, the visions you had experienced concerning him making you worry. But as long as he was dating your friend, you felt that you’d be fine.
-----
Keigo showed up again two days later.
“Back so soon?”
“You know me-“ He shook out his umbrella, placing it in the drip-bin by the door, wiping his shoes on the mat. “I always try to be speedy with my work.”
It was grey outside, drizzling slightly. You loved these kinds of days, where you could sit near a window and watch it rain while sipping tea. It was so peaceful and calm, and always soothed your stress.
“Find out anything useful?” Whatever he could tell you would make it easier to refine the jewelry selection for his particular needs.
“So, she doesn’t have any bracelets, and I asked her about why and she said they annoy her. She likes necklaces.” He clarified,. You could tell by the way he puffed up that he felt proud of his detective skills. “I even made a note of the lengths - she likes ones that dip low, which-“ He wolf whistled, and your stomach turned. But it was fine, just awkward.
“Alright, I think we have quite a few like that. Let me collect them for you and lay them out.”
Keigo strolled around the display room while you bustled about, looking in each case at the shiny metals and stones  
You laid out the necklaces, calling Keigo over. The man smiled brightly at you as you showed him the selection, noticing he was gravitating towards the more simply, elegant choices.
“I’m sure she would be thrilled with any of these.” You offered, Keigo silent as he tried to decide between two necklaces.
Still, the man shook his head, quirking his lips. “I just…. I need to see them on, y’know?” Then he brightened, as if he had just thought of something. “Hey, can you try them on? Model one for me? Just to see what it’d look like.”
You laughed nervously. “Sorry Keigo, but I’m not allowed to do that, it’s against company policy. Only customers get to try on the jewelry, and that’s if they’re supervised.”
“Awh, c’mon! No one else is here, and I won’t tell.” The man leaned forward, shooting you a quick wink before he snatched up one of the necklaces, holding it out towards you. “Please? I just need to see it. I promise I’ll buy it.”
He was so insistent, and no matter how loud the alarm bells were wringing in your head, you felt cowed by his confidence.
“Um, still… I don’t think it’s allowed-“
“Fuck what’s allowed-“ He cut you off, snorting. “-I want to see what it looks like. It’s just me (Y/N), I’m not gonna snitch.”
A heavy sigh, and you finally agreed, taking the necklace from his nimble fingers.  You slung it around your neck, not fastening the back as you held it in place. Hopefully that would be enough to sate Keigo’s curiosity.
His eyes immediately followed the curve of the necklace, how it dipped low towards your cleavage (curse you for wearing a lower-cut shirt today). You tried to ignore the leering.
“Here, let me help you fasten it, doesn’t look right otherwise.”
Before you could protest, he was sliding behind you, deft hands reaching for the necklace your had in your grasp.
“Keigo no-!”
But it was too late.
You were pressed up against a wall, face-first, your hands gathered into the small of your back and held there with a vice-like grip. There was pressure between your legs, something hammering into you, in and out, in and out, in and out.
Keigo was talking to you, you could tell it was the man by his voice. What was he saying? You were too overwhelmed with the sensation between your legs to focus on the words falling from his lips.
Sweat dripped from your temples, Keigo’s chest pressed up against your back was slick with perspiration, his nipples hard and pressing into your skin. It was an uncomfortable situation-
And then it changed.
You were tied up now, tight enough that you couldn’t move no matter how you thrashed. Knees bound in such a way so your ass was up in the air, arms stretched out in front of you, anchored to the headboard of the bed.
Keigo was behind you again - nothing to indicate that the tongue running through your core was his, but somehow, you knew.
You were begging and pleading, withing in your restraints against his tongue, but he wouldn’t let up, he wouldn’t let you crest the mountain that had built up inside. He kept chuckling, the vibrations running through you and making you buck your hips. You felt disgusting.
Then the bed was gone, and Keigo was in front of you. He was sitting in an office chair, your legs straddling his lap. Hands on your hips were dragging you back and forth, grinding you on the hard member protruding from Keigo’s lap. He was flushed, letting out little moans as he kept eye contact with you, smiling and praising you.
Then you were back.
Gasping, you shot away from Keigo, the expensive necklace clattering to the ground as it fell from your hands.
The man froze, confusion etched across his features as he watched you bend over, trying to catch your breath, to calm down, to ignore the lingering sensations from the futuristic visions.
“(Y/N)…”
“I think-I think you should leave.” You heaved, tears building. That had been awful, everything had felt good but you hadn’t. You felt uncomfortable and disrespected and stupid. That couldn’t be your future with Keigo, you wouldn’t be able to handle that. He was your friend’s boyfriend, for goodness sake!
Keigo opened his mouth to say something, but you snapped at him “Leave.”, making the man click his jaw shut.
He walked out the door, shooting you concerned glances the entire way.
You felt better as soon as he was gone, the door clicking shut after him. Thankfully, you were the only employee out front at the moment, and no other customers were present, so no one but you and Keigo had experienced your outburst.
Bending down to pick up the necklace, you inspected it carefully, horrified that you had dropped such an expensive item. It was alright though, so you brought it back to the others, shakily beginning to gather them up to put away.
You didn’t want to see Keigo again.
——-
“I just don’t understand!”
Your friend sobbed, surrounded by tissues on your bed, eyes red and blotchy.  You wished you could rub her back, our give her a hug, but you knew what would happen. So you stayed on the floor, passing up tissues and offering wordless sympathy.
“Why would he break up with me? Why?”
You shrugged, looking for words. “I don’t know… I’m sorry that this happened, but if he can’t see how awesome you are, then he’s an idiot.”
She sniffed, blowing her nose. You could tell she wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t say anything further, instead choosing to wipe her eyes.
She had called an hour or so ago, tearful, asking if she could come over. Refused to tell you what was wrong, but the second you let her in, she had burst into tears, explaining everything.
Keigo had broken up with her via text, that asshole.
“I just…. I thought we were good. Did I do something wrong? I just don’t get it.”
“Neither do I. You said he just texted you out of the blue?”
She nodded her head, going to blow her nose again. “We were supposed to go out for dinner tomorrow, it’s our two month anniversary.”
You cringed. Did your encounter with Keigo in the jewelry store have something to do with this? Had you driven your friend’s boyfriend away? Had you weirded him out? Oh god, what if this was all your fault?
Your friend broke down into a sob again, slumping onto your bed. You passed her another tissue. “It’ll be okay. I think he’s a stupid fucker that just wanted to play with your heart.  He isn’t worth shit. You deserve so much better than him.”
She nodded, blotchy eyes seeking out your own. In the back of your mind, you cringed, seeing the exact same scene from your vision. Well, at least the two of you hadn’t gotten in a fight.
——-
A few weeks later, Keigo was at your door.
“You need to leave. Now.”
“Aw, c’mon (Y/N), at least hear me out?”
You huffed, crossing your arms. Maybe he had a dumb explanation for why he had dumped your friend. You were wary of him accidentally touching you again though. “Fine, but make it quick.”
“No promises.” He grinned, breezing past you and into your apartment. He beelined for the chair you had sat in last time he was here, leaving you to take a seat on the couch.
“Alright-“ He settled in, fixing you with a gleeful eye. “How do you feel about your quirk?”
Caught off guard, you blinked. Wasn’t he going to explain why he had broken your friend’s heart? “Um, what?”
“Your quirk, y’know, the one that makes you see the future?” He leaned forward, rubbing his hands together with a smile. He seemed far too pleased, and it made you nervous.
“I hate it. If I could get rid of it, I would.” You stated, ready to move onto a different topic. But just as you were about to ask him about your friend, he rose to his feet, fishing in his pockets.
He drew out a bracelet, black and red, thin. “Well then, lookie what I have.” The man walked over, sitting down quickly on the couch next to you, causing you to immediately scoot to the end. You didn’t want him touching you.
“Oh, sorry.” He apologized upon noticing your unease. Instead of scooting closer, he simply tossed the bracelet onto your lap, leaning back as he watched you look at it curiously. “Put it on, see how it fits.”
“I don’t need jewelry Keigo, and I think we should be spending our time discussing why you bro-“
“Just put it on (Y/N), please? I promise you won’t regret it.”
Huffing, you did as he asked, clasping the bracelet around your wrist. It fit snug, almost too tight, but it hugged your wrist comfortingly. It was pretty, but you didn’t see what this had to do with your quirk, or with your friend, or anything that held any relevancy.
Bracelet now on, you fixed Keigo with a blank stare. “Happy?”
“I don’t know.” Keigo grinned. “Are you?” And then he was hugging you, arms wrapped around your shoulders, face buried in your neck.
You shrieked, already panicking as you tried to ready yourself for the onslaught of  visions that accompanied physical touch.
They never came.
Choking back a surprised gasp, you drew back from his hug to find Keigo’s eyes, the man smiling down at you as he watched your reaction.
“Kei-Keigo…” You stuttered, shocked, surprised, euphoric, confused - so many emotions, all at once. You couldn’t even think to brush off the hands still around your shoulders, thumbs brushing at the tops of your exposed collarbones by the neck of your shirt.
You weren’t able to think rationally, couldn’t focus on anything but the awe you felt at being touched without being slammed with visions of the future.
You forgot about the terrifying visions you had gotten when Keigo touched you.
You forgot about how he had hurt your friend, broke her heart with no explanation.
You forgot about his hands refusing to leave your body.
“Keigo, this is…. Amazing” You breathed, wide eyes snapping up, catching his smiling face, eyes crinkly and twinkly.
“I had my team modify some quirk-cancelling cuffs! You seemed so upset whenever someone touched you, I couldn’t leave you with such a burden.”
Nodding, you returned your gaze to the bracelet, turning your wrist this way and that to look at the bracelet from different angles.
“I mean, I know how much I like being touched, and touching. I think I’d totally die if I couldn’t.” Keigo chuckled, but you weren’t listening.
The rest of his time sitting next to you on the couch was spent explaining the colors he had spent so long picking (“They’re my personal favorite, aren’t they nice?”) and why he had decided on a bracelet (“It could’ve been a necklace, but I think it looks better in it’s original cuff design, looks cooler that way.”).
By the time he had to leave, you were completely sidetracked, so distracted with your shiny new jewelry that you didn’t even remember to ask what his deal was with being a jerk to your friend, his now ex-girlfriend.
-----
“-and then he gave me the bracelet. I wasn’t thinking much after that, I just… I can hug you, isn’t that incredible?”
You gave your friend another squeeze, feeling a smile dance across your face. But then you sobered, pulling back from her with your hands on her shoulders, quickly becoming serious.
“But he’s really starting to kind of weird me out. Why won’t he explain why he broke up with you? He’s being a little bitch. I tried asking him a couple times, but he kept cutting me off, and I feel like the bracelet was a distraction to stop me from busting his chops about his behavior towards you.”
Your friend looked sad for a second, before shrugging. “I dunno, he just said things weren’t working out, and that while he liked me, he’s not ready for a relationship right now ‘cause of where he’s at in his life.”
“Psh-“ You scoffed, going in for another comforting squeeze for your friend. “-that’s code for “I’m a fuckboy and want to sleep around”.”
“I know….. But it still hurts.” You friend sighed, wrapping her arms around your neck. “But at least he gave you that quirk thing. I’ve never seen you so happy.”
“I just wish he was a mildly decent person.” You grumbled, detaching from the hug to sit back, glaring at the ceiling. “He gives me the fucking creeps.”
“How so?” You friend locked her head to the side, throwing her arm over the back of the couch. You had called her over the second Keigo had left, finally gathering your wits about you.
“I dunno…” You shrugged, not quite ready to tell her about the disturbing visions containing him. Did that have something to do with their breakup? Was it your fault? What was going to happen with Keigo? It honestly scared you, the residual feelings and sensations you could remember from the visions.
Your friend nodded understandingly. “Some people just give off those vibes. Well, at least we don’t ever have to see him again. Good riddance I say.”
You agreed.
——-
Knocking on the door, you shuffled your feet as you took in the house.
It was one of those rich places - nice neighborhood, fancy street filled with lavish houses, expensive cars. You felt slightly out of place, shifting from foot to foot in your clearance-rack clothes.
The door swung open, revealing a sleepy Keigo, shirtless, clad in nothing but sweatpants.
“Oh, um-“ You quickly turned, averting your eyes, trying to give the man privacy in case he hadn’t realized he was shirtless. It looked like he had just woken up from a nap, eyes blinking owlishly, hair mussed.
“Hey (Y/N), come on in.”
Still keeping your eyes turned away, you stepped inside the opulent house, trying not to gape too much at the decor inside. You didn’t want to look like a complete peasant in front of Keigo, but he’d already been to your house, so you could imagine that he knew of your poor-ness.
“Something wrong? You can look at me y’know, I’m not gonna turn you to stone or something.” Keigo joked, voice entirely too close for comfort.
Head whipping around, you found that he was too close, practically almost touching you as he stood beside you, head cocked as he watched you.
“No… nothings wrong, you’re just…” You gestured to his torso, and Keigo looked down in confusion, before looking back at you, a grin on his face.
“Ah, just woke up.” He shrugged, before reaching out to touch your arm. “Bracelet still keeping that quirk at bay?”
You nodding, following the blonde as he turned and walked further into his house, towards the kitchen.
“Glad to hear! I just wanted to look at it a bit, make sure nothing’s worn or torn, y’know? Hate for you to have to deal with the no-touching thing again.” He said over his shoulder, gesturing for you to sit down at the island, on one of the barstools.
You did so, watching the man open his fridge, take out a carton of milk, uncap it. “Is it too tight?”
“Nope.”
He drank right out of the bottle, and you watched some dribble out of the corner of his mouth, down his chin. The man finished gulping down the milk, taking the bottle away from his lips to swipe at the white trail of liquid rolling down his chin.
Eyes dark, he made contact with your own eyes as he cleaned his chin with a finger, stuffing it in his mouth to suck it clean.
That was gross.
The next second, he was back to normal, cheerfully putting the milk back into the fridge. “Good, good. Now, mind if I take a look at it? You should keep it on though.”
You nodded, and Keigo straightened, walking around the island to sit next to you, shuffling his stool closer.
He grabbed your wrist, laying it out on the island, before beginning to poke at the bracelet, running his fingers over it, fiddling with it, squeezing the tendons in your hand, smoothing his hand up your arm.
It felt a bit intrusive.
“So the visions are all blocked?”
“Yep.”
“And you can touch and be touched?”
“Yeah.”
“How’s your appetite? Sometimes complete quirk suppression can make you lose your appetite.”
“It’s been normal, I guess I’m a little hungrier than normal, but I’ve been getting out more too, not as afraid of crowds.”
“Nice! And how about your libido?”
You spluttered, choking on your own spit, snatching your hand away from Keigo’s wandering touches.
“Excuse me? That’s a bit personal, thanks.”
Keigo shrugged, bright eyes hooded and lazy. “It’s just a question.”
“Are you done making sure it’s all good? No broken parts?” You changed the subject, narrowing your eyes. You can’t believe your friend had ever dated him, that you had ever thought he was anything but a playboy.
You wouldn’t even be here, in his house, but he had come into the jewelers a while back (both you and your friend had blocked his number), spouting something about your bracelet needing constant checks and maintenance in order to keep suppressing your quirk. (“Wouldn’t want it to stop working, right? Just stop by sometimes, here’s my address.”).
So here you were.
Keigo leaned back a little, raising an eyebrow at your irritated tone of voice. “Woah there, don’t get snippy. I’m doing you a favor, right? I’m not trying to hurt you or something.”
Technically, you guess he was right. But he had played your friend, had fucked with her feelings. He was a fuckboy, liked messing with each and every girl he could find, and you didn’t care to be one of them.
“And I appreciate that Keigo. But I like to keep my private life private.”
Keigo was silent, simply holding out a hand for you to place your arm in, so he could fiddle more with the bracelet.
Several moments of awkward silence passed before he spoke again. “You’re being awfully ungrateful. It makes me think you don’t even want this little gift. If I were you, I’d be doing everything I could to show the person kind enough to do such a thing for me how thankful I was.”
Lost for words, you stared at the man. Was he expecting some sort of award? Some sort of prize? It’s not like you had anything to give him.
“I don’t have anything to give you in thanks. Just my words, which I’ve said plenty of. I didn’t ask you to make this for me.” You pointed out.
“Sure, but you use it, don’t you? You wouldn’t like it if I took it away, right? Think about how miserable your life was before I gave you this.”
Your life had been miserable. Afraid to go out in crowds, afraid to leave the house, Nervous about grocery shopping, about paying and having the cashier touch your hand as they handed over the change.
Scared of public transportation, of coffeeshops and bookstores, of public parks, even your own home. What if one of your roommates forgot and touched you? Or accidentally bumped into you?
Plus, you could hug now, and shake hands, and slap your friends back when she told a horrible joke, or tap her when you wanted her attention.
You didn’t want to go back to before. “I’m sorry Keigo… I really do think it’s lovely, and I can never thank you enough for doing this for me.”
Keigo let go of your arm, and it swung back to your side. You could feel the man looking at you.
“You know what would let me know that you mean it?”
God, it better not be something sexual.
“You could buy me coffee. Or maybe a cookie from that bakery on 1st Avenue, you know the one? With the little bunny pastries?”
That surprised you.
“You go there? That’s my favorite place.” You mused, looking at Keigo in surprise. He didn’t seem the kind of guy who’d like a place like that. But appearances could be deceiving.
“Of course! I really like their stuff.”
“Alright,” You conceded, rising to your feet. “I’ll get you some stuff from there. Want it today?”
Keigo rose to his feet as well, crossing his arms over his bare chest. “Yeah! Let me get dressed real quick, and then I’ll go with you. Don’t go anywhere birdie.” He shot you a wink, before sauntering past you, out of the kitchen.  You raised a brow, surprised. He meant to go with you?
“Make yourself at home while you wait, don’t be afraid to kick up your feet!”  
——-
The bakery smelled as lovely as usual.
A warm atmosphere, good food, friendly employees. It was your favorite place for a reason.
“Alright, what do you want?” You asked Keigo, the two of you staring up at the menu.
“Hmm, I don’t know. What are you going to get?”
“Probably a muffin, those are my favorite.”
“What!?! That’s my favorite too! How crazy.” Keigo smiled at you, dimples showing. You got the feeling that he was brown-nosing you, but you kept the thought to yourself, striding up to the counter to order.
Muffins purchased, you approached Keigo, who was lounging by one of the display cases, admiring the delicate, mouthwatering masterpieces held within.
“All good to go?” His smile was so charming, so friendly, you almost caught yourself wanting to see it more. Huffing in irritation at yourself, you pushed past him, shoving the bag with his muffin into his chest.
“Here’s your stuff. I’m going home now, see you around.”
“Wait!” Keigo turned, jogging a little to catch up as you exited the bakery. “We gotta eat these before they get cold - hey, birdie, are you listening to me?“
You weren’t, stoically keeping your head turned forward, walking with determination. There was only so much of Keigo that you could tolerate, and you had reached your limit. He was starting to really annoy you, didn’t he get that you wanted to go home? You’ll just eat your muffin on the subway, it’s not that hard.
“(Y/N)-“ His sudden growl was punctuated by an arm on your shoulder, spinning you around and pulling you towards the man.
“Hey-!” The sudden collision of your face with his chest knocked your breath away, almost causing you to drop your own muffin in the process.
When you managed to gather yourself, you shot a glare up at Keigo’s face, only to find the blonde smirking down at you, a fierce glint in his eyes.
“I expect you to listen when I’m talking, got it? I don’t like being ignored.”
That’s evident.
You tried to back away, but he still had a hand on your shoulder, squeezing you tight to him. “Keigo! Let me go, you stupid idiot-“
“Stop it, I’m not doing anything to you, ya big baby.” He cooed down at you, before taking his hand away, letting you stumble backwards.
He was just messing with you, teasing you. It was obvious, yet still you allowed him to be around you.
“Alright, I’m sorry, I know all the touching’s gotta be new still. Wanna go eat these in the park? I’ll buy you some ice cream if you want.”
“I don’t want ice cream, I want to go home.”
Keigo frowned, walking after you when you turned on your heel, heading for the subway. “Why do you dislike me so much? I’ve done so much to help you, and yet you spit in my face. Your parents ever teach you how to be grateful? Or even respectful?”
You gasped at his accusation, stopping in your tracks to whirl around, only to find the man far closer than what you had expected. Still, you tried to hide your surprise at his proximity, jabbing a finger in his direction.
“You are a playboy, you broke my friend’s heart, and you want to sleep with every single person you come across just to mess with their feelings. I don’t want to be around you. I won’t get dragged into that.”
The man watched you, face solemn and contemplative. “Is that really how you see me?”
“Why would I say any of that unless it was true?”
He ran a hand through his hair, looking up and around, as if gathering his bearings, before back down at you.
“Have you ever considered that I’m the one getting my heart broken?”
“Yeah right-“ You scoffed, only for Keigo to cut you off.
“People want to sleep with me because they think it’ll get them something that they want. Fifteen second fame, a piece in a tabloid about my “new lover”…. Think it’ll help them further their career, or that I’ll give them money. I can’t find anyone real.
“And my friend wasn’t real enough for you?” You spat, not believing him for a second.
“Nope.  You think she liked me for who I am?”
“Uh, yeah? She gushed to me all the damn time about how good you were, how she felt about you. That girl held nothing but love and affection for you.”
The man snorted, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sure, love for my wallet.”
“She’s not like that.” You argued, brows furrowing.
“Really? Cause she was sucking me dry, and not even in a sexy way.”
You crinkled your nose at what he was implying. Your friend wasn’t like that, she truly had felt for Keigo, had liked him as her boyfriend. She wasn’t just a leech.
“I’m done talking about my failed love life.” Keigo said lowly, nudging your shoulder. “I just thought two friends could hangout, but it seems like you think all I do is try and fuck people.”
“No, Kiego…. That’s not what I meant.” Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, but right now…. You almost felt a twinge of sympathy for him.
Some of what he was saying made sense, how people would try and use him for various reasons. But that still didn’t explain his sudden and harsh breakup with your friend. And over text no less, a complete douche move!
But you felt bad about his words, about how he seemed to actually want to hangout, and yet you were accusing him of trying to sleep with you. But what about those visions you had had? Was that even how they went? Or were you remembering falsely based on your bias towards the man?
And what about his suggestive touches, his leering gaze? Was that maybe just how he always was, and it wasn’t exclusive to you? Were you inflating your place in his life, thinking that he wanted you?
It was confusing, and you didn’t want to think about it, try and untangle the lies from the truth. Right now, you just wanted to eat your muffin.
“If you really didn’t mean it, then can we go eat these in the park? I just want to chill with someone that isn’t trying to gain something from me. I want to spend time with someone that’s real.”
With a half-irritated sigh, you nodded, hoping you wouldn’t regret hanging out with the obnoxious man.
-----
He kept calling you, texting you. You’d had to unblock his number at some point, in order for him to text you about the bracelet and when he needed to look at it.
“Come overrrrr, I’m bored!”
“Birdie, are you hungry? The delivery place gave me extra Torikatsu and I don’t want it to go bad. Can I come drop it off?”
He’d swing by the jewelers, leaning over the counter to talk to you about a recent shoot he’d booked, or something he saw recently.
Keigo seemed to slowly insert himself into every facet of your live, against your will, ignoring every subtle, irritated attempt of yours to turn him away. Every single time you saw him, your mind would inevitably think of the visions, but you felt like you couldn’t trust yourself with those anymore.
The man assured you at every step, he had no romantic feelings for you, he just wanted a friend, someone to put him in his place, be honest with him.
You definitely were honest.
Snapping at him when he showed up at your apartment uninvited, coming up behind you on the street and grabbing your sides, laughing when you shrieked and tried to hit your attacker, only to realize it was Keigo.
Tearing into him when he tried to talk badly about your friend - she had been having less and less contact with you, and you couldn’t figure out why. Now your relationship with her was reduced to curt text messages. Maybe she was just going through a hard time, and wanted alone time? Still, you let her know you were there for her, whenever she needed.
You were honest when Keigo asked your opinion on food, TV shows, clothes, movies. It was almost satisfying saying something sucked, just to see Keigo’s face fall slightly, before he shook his head, whining.
“Then help me pick something out! I can’t do it without you-“
He totally could, he was just being a baby.
The more he inserted himself into your life, the more you realized that he was akin to a petulant child, just with muscles and a penchant for inappropriate touching.
Whenever he saw you, he’d try to draw you into a hug, letting his hands drop far down your back, way too low for you to feel comfortable. You’d slap them away, and Keigo would laugh, before ruffling your hair.
He’d have you come over so he could check your quirk suppressor, except he was in the middle of a show, and it was getting to the best part. (“Sit down, shhh, it’s just getting good!”) You’d have to sit through the entire thing, enduring Kiego’s hand lazily drawing shapes over your pants on your thigh, simply putting it back whenever you shoved it off.
He was insufferable, irritating to no end, but you could tell he was a lonely man, bitter about his love life and with his friendships.
So you tolerated his presence.
After all, he wasn’t trying to hurt you. That’s something he reiterated every single time you shied away from his touch. He made you feel like a fool for thinking the man was hitting on you, when he made it so clear that he wasn’t, only interested in friendship.
Until you fell asleep at his house.
Another one of those days were he needed to look at your quirk suppressor (which you were 99% sure was fine, it seemed like he just enjoyed seeing it on your wrist). He had been rummaging around in his room before he had to run and open the front door for you, talking as he walked back to return to his previous task.
Apparently he was trying to find a good shirt, seeing as how he had pants on, but his chest was bare. Keigo instructed you to sit on the bed for a second while he retreated into his massive closet, trying to find a good shirt  to go with the rest of his outfit.
His bedroom was pretty large, a full California King taking up the majority of the space, neatly made. The sheets and blankets felt soft beneath your fingers as you sat on it’s edge, prepared to wait for Keigo for a bit.
The man always took his fashion very seriously - one time he’d even spent two hours trying on clothes until he’d decided on an appropriate outfit to go to the park.
So you followed your tired eyes, exhausted from work and dealing with Keigo, worrying about your friend, daily life stressors and the like.  Keigo wouldn’t mind if you laid back, right? Your feet wouldn’t be on the bed, so it’d be fine.
And it was fine, pleasant, the room the perfect temperature.
You were roughly jerked out of sleep by pressure. Pressure on your hips, pressure on your lips.
Eyes jolting open, you tried to inhale, only to find yourself unsuccessful.
Keigo was on top of you.
Panicking, your hands came to push at him, a muffled sound of protest being squeaked out from where his lips pressed against yours.
Noticing you were awake, Keigo pulled back, smiling the whole while.
“I’m not willing to wait anymore, I just gotta have you.”
His eyes were glinting, hair tousled, still shirtless. You felt goosebumps arise as you remembered the vision you had so long ago, of this exact moment.
“Wai-mmph!” His lips were on yours again, passionate and warm, moving eagerly. A wet tongue pressed at the seam of your mouth, surprising you and making you blanch, which allowed the man access.
Kiego’s tongue explored the inside of your mouth, playfully tapping your own wet muscle, encouraging you to lift it and wrestle with him.
This was too weird, this wasn’t happening, you couldn’t do this-
Biting down hard, you snapped your teeth shut on his tongue, and Keigo yelped, drawing back immediately.
“Ouch, what the fuck!?! Chill out (Y/N), geez.” His hand was dabbing at his mouth, wincing when it came in contact with his bleeding tongue. You had bitten him deep, but you weren’t focused on that right now.
“What are-what are you doing?” Your voice was breathless, disoriented. The room felt…. Dark, and suffocating, as if it was closing in on the two of you, trapping you.
Keigo looked down at you, and it was only then that you realized you had been moved to lie on the bed fully, shoes off, legs splayed. The man rested on his stomach between them, his weight pressed against your body, keeping you still.
“I told you, I can’t wait anymore. I’ve been as nice as I can, but it’s time you started paying me back for everything I’ve done for you.”
What? Paying him back-was he talking about the quirk suppressor he had gifted you? Had he been lying about his true intentions this whole time?
“That’s not right, it was a gift, you-you don’t have to pay back a gift.” You spluttered, feeling as if your chest was collapsing.
Keigo shook his head, swooping down to leave a bloody kiss on your forehead, which you cringed at, before pulling back to speak.
“Nah, it wasn’t a gift. You know how expensive it was? You were always gonna have to compensate me. Now shush, I wanna feel you-“
One of his hands grabbed your jaw, keeping your face turned towards his, pressing down until tears formed in your eyes. His lips were bloody from the bite on his tongue, tasting unmistakably like iron.
You didn’t want this.
Trying to bite him again left you with a slap to your thigh, making you cry out. Keigo huffed out a laugh against your mouth.
He detached from your lips, just to start nibbling at your jawline, elating streaks of red where his lips touched.
“God, you are so sexy. I was trying to chill, but then I came out and you were sleepin’ all cute, and I couldn’t fucking stop myself from touching.”
“Stop doing this, I can pay you with something different. I don’t wanna do this Keigo.” You whispered, on the verge of crying.
“No, I get to decide what you’ll be doing for me, it’s my bracelet-“
“It’s not, you gave it to me, please stop-“
“Shut up.” He growled sinking his teeth into the side of your neck, nipping at the skin hard enough to have you screaming. “You’re so ungrateful, where’s my thanks? I’ve done so much for you.”
“Thank you, thank you Keigo, I appreciate it all-“ You hurried out, hoping it was what he wanted to hear “But I can’t do this, please don’t make me. I wanna go home.”
“There we go, I like the sound of you thanking me. You’re going to thank me for each and every time you cum tonight, got it?”
“No, no, we can’t do this, I can’t! Get off of me, please-“
“You’ll do it, or else I’ll whip you until your flesh hangs off of you in strings.” He hissed, squeezing your jaw cruelly.
The tears in your eyes overflowed as you fell silent.
“Aw, birdie, don’t cry. I’m not gonna hurt you, I never have, right?” He waited for a second, watching your face before he pressed harder, eyes hardening “Right?“
You nodded jerkily, and Keigo came to kiss your tears away, savoring their salty taste as they rolled down your cheeks.
“Keigo, this isn’t right though, please get off me. I don’t want this-“
“You want me to take this away?” A hand caught your shaking wrist, the one that had the quirk suppressor fastened snugly around it, wrenching it up so both of you could see it. “Huh? Put you back where you were in your miserable little life? Running away from everyone, holing up in your apartment, not willing to touch or be touched…”
The very thought made your insides churn, and a fresh round of tears rolled down your face as you shook your head no, lips wobbling as you whined. You felt so pathetic, so small and dumb underneath Keigo.
“That’s what I thought. You’re going to relax now, right? No more begging unless it’s for more.”
He didn’t wait for an answer, beginning to shuffle around until he could slide his hands under your shirt, pressing against your tummy as you flinched away.
“Don’t worry birdie, you’re gonna like every single thing we’re gonna do. You’ve had sex now, yeah? Since I gave you the bracelet?”
You shook your head “no”, it’s not like you were eager for sex before you got it, and all the touching-without-terrifying-visions thing was still new to you, the dating world was being eased into. Somehow though, every single date seemed to be crashed by the man on top of you.
Keigo lit up like a Christmas tree, licking his lips gleefully. “Okay, okay, I can-whew, that’s hot-I can be gentle.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince you, his hands skirting up your ribs, shucking up your shirt as the traveled higher and higher.
“Keigo please-“
“Don’t you dare say stop, I’m not gonna. You’re the first person that doesn’t want anything from me, you’re real, and I’m not stopping.”
His admission made you cringe, recoiling from his touch. He followed you, palms finally smoothing over your breasts, over your bra.
“You’re going to do what I say, or else this-“ Your wrist was wrenched into view, red-and-black bracelet glittering. “-gets removed. And I’ll still do whatever the fuck I want, but you’ll be off in your mind having visions of who-knows-what while I have my way. Got it?”
Your blood chilled, body suddenly feeling ice cold. His tone was dead serious, spitting out the words with a sense of finality.
“So, just lay there and take it birdie, I’ll be good to you.”
794 notes · View notes
chasingpj · 4 years ago
Text
𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞
"You’re really sweet, water boy.”
pairing: percy jackson x child of hecate!reader
words: 5,379
warnings: angsty, mentions of breaking down, one curse word
timeline: post sea of monsters
if you want to be tagged every time I update this story click here
a/n: hi hi! I hope you guys like this chapter. If you have any feedback let me know. i've read this chapter over like 1,000 times while editing so i can't even give my own opinion on this chapter lol. i hope someone likes it at least cause i'm a little iffy about this one.
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six
“Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality!”
The singing voices of the Apollo cabin harmonize as Atticus stands in the middle of their cabin, eyes closed with his arms swaying side to side in the air. You sit against the window frame at the end of the room, your lips curl in a soft smile as Harvey prances around his feet, enjoying the spotlight as much as Atticus is. You were glad that Atticus was still up for karaoke night despite his mood. Although you didn’t plan on coming yourself, you had hoped that he would as he needed it as an outlet to let loose. A part of you wasn’t surprised when Atticus was begging you to come with him, insisting that your plan of staying in and sleeping early was too lame for a Friday night at camp. You didn't want to make him upset so you decided to suck it up and go with him. Besides, you did need to get out.
The past few days, you’ve had your nose in books, drowning out your thoughts with everything from studying demonology to enjoying fantasy novels. You’ve been keeping an eye on Lou Ellen as well, noticing that she too was avoiding her feelings by drowning herself with books back to back. And now, as a result of your similar coping mechanism, you two have an exclusive book club where you spend hours reading and mercilessly criticizing Twilight. Meanwhile, Atticus has been up and around, constantly surrounding himself with people to distract him. He seemingly was doing fine on the surface, but it was a facade. Sorrow was radiating off of him like never before. Even if you didn’t have the ability to sense his emotions, his song choice for tonight was a dead giveaway. Bohemian Rhapsody is his comfort song.
“I’m just a poor boy. I need no sympathy!” Atticus sings passionately into the microphone. Cheers break throughout the cabin, and you giggle, joining in, cupping your mouth as you whoop for him. You look over at Lou Ellen, talking and laughing with a few girls across the room. You smile, content that for right now, the two of them are occupied and happy. You, however, couldn’t get into the mood. Sure, the chaos of the Apollo Cabin easily entertained you, but you were having trouble shaking off the heavy feeling in your chest. You frown, your hand coming down to pet the top of Ambrose’s head, the other nuzzling his snout against your leg to comfort you. You look down at him, smiling softly as a silent thank you, and you sigh, hoping to lighten the feeling in your chest, but to no avail, it remained.
A nudge on your shoulder draws in your attention, and you turn to face the boys standing to your left. You meet Lee Fletcher’s bright blue orbs, a smile plastered on his flushed face.
“You’re next!” He shouts over the music, pointing his index finger at you in the same hand he held a red solo cup in. You scrunch your face, moving a little closer to him and the group so they’ll be able to hear you.
“I’m not really in the performance mood tonight,” you say, and the immediate protests from the boys around him made you smile. They insisted that you had to sing tonight and that they were going to make sure you went after your brother. On any other night, you would have agreed, gladly taking the mic. You weren’t a stranger to singing karaoke, and you had to admit you did enjoy it just as much as Atticus did. Last week, you sang an interesting rendition of Wannabe by the Spice Girls with Lou Ellen, Silena, Katie, and Sage. You were Scary Spice, of course; you wouldn’t have been anyone else. But tonight, you were unable to see yourself singing. Now that the boys returned to whatever they were talking about, you were planning your escape. You tune back into the song, realizing that Atticus was almost finished.
“Nothing really matters; anyone can see. Nothing really matters. Nothing really matters, to mee.”
You take a deep breath for a moment, accepting your fate. It’s only one song, you tell yourself; it’ll be quick. You cringe, expecting to be pushed up to the front by the others any second now. Suddenly, chanting fills the cabin,
“Encore, encore!"
Atticus smiles, bowing like a Broadway actor as the crowd cheers. You sigh, relieved, and you hoped whatever he picked would be able to conceal your exit. There was no way Atticus was going to pass up the microphone, and over the chanting, he announced his next song choice: Dancing Queen.
He’s so depressed.
You didn’t want to miss your opportunity, slowly scooting yourself away from Lee Fletcher and the others. As the instrumental of Dancing Queen fills the cabin, a chunk of people get up from the bunk beds and the floor to dance and sing along. You take your chance now that everyone is distracted, and you walk into the crowd, carefully weaving through bodies.
The cool summer night air was refreshing on your skin compared to the stuffiness of the crowded cabin. The collective singing of Dancing Queen becomes faint as you make it across the camp. You didn't realize how loud the song was while you were in there, and you could just imagine what the other cabins were doing. You couldn’t help but smile at the idea of an annoyed Ares' cabin, all of them with pillows covering their ears in an attempt to drown out the music and screaming.
By the time you reached the beginning of the woods, the disco instrumental was long gone, and you took in the stillness of the night. There was barely a breeze tonight; the only sounds were the faint chattering of campers hanging around the hearth and taking walks. You stare into the forest, uncertain if you should venture by yourself. You hear a soft whine come from Ambrose, signaling you that it was a bad idea. It was a couple of hours away from curfew, and you can already hear the faint roars of monsters. That wasn’t enough to turn you away, though. Your desire to be somewhere silent was more prominent than your fear of the monsters.
You walk in without another thought, your pace slow and slack, and Ambrose unwillingly follows close behind you, checking around to make sure you are safe. As you walk farther in the forest, the thoughts you had sent to the back of your mind were returning with a vengeance.
The departure of your siblings felt surreal. When you had woken up to their empty beds the next day, you had chosen to believe they had left for breakfast earlier than usual and that everything that happened was a dream. Yet, as the days went by, the absence of your siblings became more apparent. A part of you refused to grieve. You had wanted to declare your brothers as monsters and convince yourself that you didn’t care. You had hoped that deciding to hate them would allow you to move on, but even that came with a desolate aftertaste.
You had blacked out in your thoughts, allowing your feet to take you where they wished, and you find yourself at a familiar boulder. You look to your left at the picnic table, staring longingly at it. It was quiet for a moment before the sight of your brother and sisters sitting on the top of the picnic table, their feet resting on the bench, appeared. They sat quietly, Atticus frowning as he looked out in the forest.
“Focus on your breathing. You won’t shift if you’re impatient.” Your gaze snaps in the direction of the voice. You saw yourself slouched in defeat as Alabaster’s hands gripped your shoulders. His green eyes peered into yours.
You were the only one that hadn’t become ethereal after trying for the past 30 minutes. Atticus had transformed on his second try, Lou Ellen on her third, and the others followed close after. But you had lost count, growing more tired and discouraged after every failed attempt. Alabaster noticed you were on the verge of tears, your lip trembling, and he easily saw that you were crawling into a bad headspace.
“I can’t do it,” you sniffled, feeling embarrassed as your siblings waited for you. You were aware they weren’t judging you and had instead been encouraging you the entire time, but you still felt ashamed. The voices in your mind taunted you, making you forget any positive feedback you received that day. You were the weakest link of the group. You were never going to be powerful as your brothers, and so you’ll never be recognized by your mother, it said.
“You can, Y/n. You’re getting too in your head,” Al reassured you, his hands falling to his side, taking a step back. You were confident that he had given up on you, and you didn’t blame him. You looked down at the ground and fiddled with your fingers. It was silent for a moment before you heard him sigh.
“Try again,” he said softly.
You groaned and rolled your eyes at yourself. You were drained from trying so long, and you were ready to accept your defeat and stomp away. You looked at Alabaster again as he patiently waited for you.
You swallowed hard, and you closed your eyes as you heard the encouraging words of your siblings. Their words failed to cancel out the negative thoughts in your own head, though. You were already bothered by the little voice that said you would never transform. You dwelled on being the last one and what made you feel worse was that it was nighttime - when your magic is at its strongest - yet you still hadn’t transformed. Maybe you weren’t as powerful as your brothers gave you credit for. Disappointment swirled in your stomach, clouding your brain, and your fist clenched as you tried to shake off the thoughts in your head. You were well aware that your mindset was holding you back. You inhaled deeply, somehow finding the will to set aside your negative thoughts.
You decided you won’t allow yourself to be the only person who couldn’t transform. You weren’t going to let your insecurity of being the “weakest link” get to you, at least not on that night. You huffed out and felt a tug in your core before your fingertips and toes began to vibrate. You gasped, and your eyebrows furrowed tightly, the vibrating sensation gradually becoming more intense to the point where it almost hurt.
You heard an excited cheer come from one of your sister's lips as the feeling crept up your arms and legs. It finally met your core, and it was as if a ball of warm, electric energy sat right in the pit of your stomach. You opened your eyes, immediately seeing the bright smile on Alabaster’s face. A relieved laugh came from your lips as a few tears ran down your face from your previously pent-up anger.
“I told you.”
You snap back to reality, looking around you to see that you were still alone. No one was at the picnic table other than Ambrose, who was laid down at the foot of it, watching you cautiously. You swore you heard the sound of Al’s voice as if he was right in front of you, but that wasn’t possible. As much as you wished for it to be, you knew your siblings were long gone.
Though you were incredibly grateful for Atticus and Lou Ellen deciding to stay, the dynamic that your siblings had as a whole was something that you wouldn’t be able to get back. Now it was the three of you, left to figure things out on your own. It’s not as if you three were incapable of figuring things out, but you’ll miss your brother's guidance.
You think perhaps if your mother didn’t give them the okay to leave, they would have never left. You couldn’t help but be mad at her, and lately, you’ve been a little petty towards your mom. Tonight, you had decided to go to dinner and dedicate your burned offering to Hestia instead. You’ve been praying to her every night as well, hoping that maybe she’d be able to bring your siblings back to you.
You hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary to inform you if your mother was aware of your silence or if she cared. You also found yourself wondering what she thought of you for not leaving. How could she not visit you? Were you really not worth, maybe, five minutes of her time? Did you have to prove yourself worthy? If so, how? You were yearning to know, but even for that, you were unable to find the answer.
Your jaw clenches, feeling your sorrow shifting to rage in your core. Take a deep breath, Ernest would say, and you do, filling your lungs to their capacity, and you hold it. Think of your surroundings. Meditate on the question: If I erupt, will I hurt someone? If the answer is yes, take a step back, breath in for 10 seconds, out for another 10 until you’re calm. If the answer is no… well, fuck it. Everyone needs to be angry sometimes.
Your head tilts slightly, taking in the clear night sky for a moment. From your peripheral vision, you can see your green aura wildly swirling and flickering around you. You close your eyes, and your chest expands, ready to release the air you’ve been holding. There was no rustling of the trees or grass, no monster screams, no sounds of the surrounding camper. The forest was still until it wasn’t as you let out a deafening scream.
After hearing the news of your siblings running away from camp at the counselor's meeting a few days ago, Percy had made a mental note to check up on you. In the time between his activities, he had checked the strawberry fields, the arts and craft center, even the arena in an attempt to find you. For a moment, he had thought you had left with them, but when he saw that Atticus was still at camp, he knew you had to be somewhere. It wasn’t until he passed by the Hermes dinner table the other day did he decide to ask your brother where you were. By then, you had not shown up for your meals for two days straight. Atticus told him that you weren’t doing too good, deciding to isolate yourself in the company of Lou Ellen. He had offered to let Percy come with him to drop off your dinner, but he had decided not to go.
He figured that you needed time for yourself, and he didn’t want to intrude. He was also worried if it would have been weird to check up on you. Surely, you were friends? You considered him as a friend, right? He hoped so since he had considered you one. He thought maybe he was overthinking it but then he began to worry that you would blame him. He had to do some mental gymnastics to come up with a reason why you would be mad at him, but he was able to come up with something. He would understand if you were mad at him since he is, well, suspected to be the child of the prophecy. So obviously, none of this would have happened if he wasn’t born? Right? He had told Annabeth about it, and from the way she blankly stared at him, he knew that the reason wasn’t solid, but still, he was nervous.
He was surprised to see you walk out of the Apollo Cabin. After hearing that you were hiding away, he didn’t expect you to attend one of the most lively events tonight. From afar, you seemed upset, but you also glinted with determination as you walked with purpose. He was seated with Annabeth, Grover, and Thalia by the campfire, listening to Annabeth ramble about the architecture of the Palace of Versailles to Thalia and Grover. It was her newest hyper fixation, and Percy had been listening though he got a little lost at some point. He didn’t want to lose his chance to approach you, not sure when the next opportunity would be so he quickly finished up the s’more he was eating before getting up from the bench.
“Um, I’ll be back,” he says. The only person who had heard him was Grover, who nodded to acknowledge him while Annabeth didn’t miss a beat in her ranting.
He checked in the usual places you would hang out in, but you were nowhere to be found. He found himself walking along the gravel road in front of the forest. He slows down, turning toward the trees and he hums,
“Did she go in there by herself?” He mutters softly, becoming concerned. It was kind of an unspoken rule that campers shouldn’t venture out on their own.
He looks over when he hears chattering, the wood nymphs slowly making their way out of the forest. They seemed to be gossiping about something as they huddle in a circle right outside of the trees. Percy found it strange that they were away from their homes, especially at this time, and he noticed they all looked a little stunned.
“Hey,” he smiles as he walks over to them. He halts hesitantly, the girls becoming quiet as they turn to him. “Have you guys seen, y/n?”
They exchange looks with each other, Juniper shifting on her feet as she stands in front of him. “Yeah…” she trails off, facing the dark trees. “Just keep walking. You’ll hear her.”
Percy furrows his eyebrows, unsure what they meant by that, but he takes their advice anyway. It didn’t take him long to find out what they meant, hearing your yelling before he saw you illuminating in the dark. He had imagined that you would be upset, but he definitely did not expect you to be yelling at the sky, rapidly throwing blasts of energy at a boulder.
Seeing you like this was odd. It was so different from the calm and collected demeanor that you gave off. He had considered you as the quieter twin. Compared to your brother, you weren’t as out there. He hadn’t seen you have many interactions with Atticus, but he could tell that you took on the big sister role. You just seemed more mature.
“How could you- how could you offer something like that?! I’ve never seen you once an- the first message I get from you is to join his stupid army! You took them from us!” You ignore the burning in your throat and the trembling of your arms. You felt lightheaded, and you didn’t know if it was due to how hard you were yelling or the amount of energy you were burning out. “I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING!” You shout weakly, looking up at the sky, hoping that your mother was listening to you. You wanted her to know how you felt betrayed, angry, and heartbroken.
Despite your anger, you still held back on what you said. You were wary not to push too far, preferring to not meet your mother's wrath the first time she visited you. You wanted an explanation; you wanted to hear the orders and the promises she made from herself. But you doubted she would appear.
Hot tears roll down your cheeks, your breath ragged, and you wail, blasting the last long beam you were able to muster at the boulder. You stumble from your own force, a sob leaving your lips, and your forearm wipes your tears.
“I really hope you know what you’re doing,” you strain in a whisper.
You gasp as you hear a twig snap behind you. You freeze in your spot, your heart beating hard in your chest. You were confident that you had summoned your mother. You took a deep breath, ready to face her, but to your surprise, you were met with Percy.
Percy's body tenses the moment you snap your gaze to him, swallowing hard as your glowing eyes bore right into his. He was hoping that his speculations of you being mad at him were wrong. The burning smell from your beams filled the air, and he definitely did not want to be charred up like that boulder. To his relief, he watches your clouded expression soften. He shifts, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Are you okay?” He asks, immediately cringing at himself afterward. Of course, she isn’t okay, why would you ask her that?
You sniffle, and you nod, “Yeah, I’m just doing my nightly prayers.” Though you tried to lighten up the mood, your voice was sad and hoarse.
Percy frowns, and he steps over a log in his way. He walks over to you as you plop down to sit on the grass with your legs crossed. Ambrose comes to your side, resting his head on your thigh, and you pet him softly.
“I heard what happened,” Percy’s tone is soft as he hesitantly invites himself to sit beside you. He wasn’t sure you wanted to be comforted right now, but you didn’t tell him to go away, so he took that as a good sign. He hums, looking down at his hands, “Travis reported it during the counselor meeting the day after,” he mentions. “Atticus told me you weren’t doing too well. I can’t do much, but if you want to talk about it, I’m listening.”
You didn’t want to dump everything on Percy, but the genuine concern in his tone made you feel comfortable enough to consider laying all your thoughts out on the table.
You haven't had the chance to discuss your feelings yet. There was a silent understanding between you, Atticus, and Lou Ellen that none of you were ready to bring it up and would rather go along your days pretending it didn’t happen. But as you continued to avoid it, it began to fester like an infected wound.
You were so lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize for how long you were quiet. In your silence, Percy waited patiently, not wanting you to feel pressured. Every once in a while, he would look over, noticing the flickering of your aura slowing down until it’s absorbed into your body, leaving you both with the soft white light coming from Ambrose’s body. If you decided not to talk about it, he told himself he wouldn’t pry, but he would be worried about you for keeping everything in.
You didn’t know how much Travis had said at the counselors meeting. Your mind was rushing with thoughts, asking yourself where you should start while also deciding if you should be completely honest with him. It wasn’t until now that you were faced with all the conflicting feelings you’ve had in the past few days. They came at you all at once, and a sniffle cuts through your silence. You sigh shakily, resting your head on Percy’s shoulder.
Percy looks down at you, able to make out some of your features in the dark. Your eyelids were a little puffy from crying, and you look exhausted. He frowns as a small sob leaves your lips, shifting to wrap his arm around your shoulders. He debated if he should say anything to you. He didn't find that this was a situation where an “it’s okay” was appropriate. Kronos was rising, war was on its way, and Luke was recruiting campers, 5 of those campers being your siblings. None of that was okay. He felt a pang in his chest, grasping on to the fact that you’d be fighting against them when it was time for battle.
“I’m sorry,” your voice quivers. You hated feeling as if you were losing control of your emotions. You didn’t want Percy seeing you like this, and you began to feel embarrassed.
“Don’t be sorry,” he shakes his head, and he opens his mouth to say something else but is too stunned when you pull away abruptly. Your gaze is fixed in the opposite direction as you try to catch your breath, hiccuping and gasping softly for a bit. “Y/n?”
“I almost left, and I feel guilty because a part of me regrets not leaving,” you blurted out the confession that was eating you up the most. It was what you were afraid to admit out loud, especially to Atticus and Lou Ellen. You didn’t want to admit that you, the one who found the courage to voice your opinion to your brothers, the one that declared she was staying at the camp, had begun to regret her decision. As much as you wished to not regret it, the what-if questions that filled your mind were hard to avoid. Were you actually missing out on the opportunity to be taught by your mother? Was it true what James said? Was deciding to stay a death wish?
You refused to look at Percy. You were wondering if he thought he was talking to a potential traitor to the camp. You were wondering if he would think of you differently now that you have confessed to having the slightest thought of joining Kronos.
Percy was lost for words, his face flashed with surprise, and he was glad you weren’t looking at him. He didn’t want you to think that he was judging you because he wasn’t; he was just taken aback. The tension between you started to thicken the longer he stayed quiet. His eyes scan the ground, frantically searching for something to say.
“Why did you stay?” He asks hesitantly.
Your teeth chew on the inside of your lip, and you now regret saying anything. You didn’t know if the shift in the air around the two of you was in your head, but either way, it bothered you.
“Because…” you trail off. The list of reasons why you stayed was long, and you didn’t want to go through all of them. You were determined to keep this conversation short, afraid that if you keep dwelling on this situation for too long, you will find more reasons to be angry.
“Because I’m not going to die for a cause I don’t believe in,” you declare. “I understand their side. I understand why they decided to leave. Alabaster was always saying that he wished things were different for us here at camp. I mean, so do I. They also had the approval of our mother, and they were promised to be taken care of if Kr- the Titan Lord wins. I can’t blame them for not giving that up because even I was hesitant to give it up,” you confess.
You sniffle softly, peeling the skin around your fingers before continuing, “But… for the change they're looking for, I don’t think this is the way to do it. Like really? Allying with him? Yeah, the gods are big jerks, but I don’t understand how he would be any different of a leader.” You sigh, “I considered leaving just to be with them, but I couldn’t go through with it. I wouldn’t feel right. I tried to convince them to stay, but they were set on leaving.”
Percy was quiet for a moment, and you found the courage to look up at him. His vision is fixed on the forest ahead before he meets your gaze. “I don’t think you should blame yourself for regretting not going. I think if I were in your position, I would have thought about the same things. They mean a lot to you. They’re your family.”
You nod, relieved that he understood where you were coming from. “Atticus was my last straw. If he had decided to leave, I would have left despite everything.”
“Understandable. He’s your twin,” Percy shrugs. You sigh shakily, your chest feeling a little lighter after being able to voice your thoughts. You felt more satisfied with yourself now. Your challenged morals felt solidified, and you decided with confidence that your choice was right for you.
“I give you a lot of props, Y/n. You were in a tough situation, and it must have been hard to stand your ground, especially since most of them decided to leave.”
“Yeah…” you say softly, and you realize that maybe you should have been kinder to yourself for having that feeling of regret.
“I think it’s really awesome what you did. Doing something like that takes a lot of guts,” Percy says, and you can hear the smile in his voice.
“Thanks…” you say shyly.
A soft smile plays on his lips, and he can tell you were starting to feel better. He was glad that he could help because he understood what you were feeling. He didn’t exactly go through the same thing, but he knew how it felt to second guess your choices and how it was easy to spiral when you dwelled on it for too long.
“You’re really sweet, waterboy. Thanks a lot," you say playfully as you return the smile. Your heart flutters as Percy’s face brightens before sheepishly looking away from you for a second.
He didn’t get compliments like that often. Well, he has, from his mom, but he didn’t count that. It wasn’t the same as getting the compliment from a girl, a girl as pretty as you are.
“I-it was nothing,” he moves his hand in a dismissive wave, and you giggle. “Well… I don’t know if you were done with your ‘prayer,’ but I think you should go back to the party in the Apollo Cabin. I’ll come with you. It sounded like a lot of fun in there."
"Ugh, but they’re going to make me sing,” you slouch, and Percy laughs at the slight pout on your face.
“I’ll sing with you,” he says, and you furrow your eyebrows, surprised at his offer. You’ve only seen him at karaoke a few times, and he always stayed on the sidelines.
“You can sing?” You ask, amused. Percy definitely didn’t seem like the musical type.
“Nope, I’m pretty much tone-deaf, but I’ll embarrass myself for you since you had a rough day," he nudges you softly before standing up. You look up at him as he pats down his pants, and you lean back on your hands.
“I’m gonna pick a ballad so you can embarrass yourself even more," you smirk at him, and he stops patting his clothes, squinting at you.
“Don’t make me take it all back,” he jokes. He reaches his hand out to you, and you grab it, letting him help you up from the ground.
“You know, I’d kill to hear you sing a Britney Spears song," you mention as you pat your own clothes down and begin to walk out of the forest, Ambrose acting as your guide by trotting ahead of you.
Percy is quiet for a moment, and you glance over, positive that he's starting to regret his offer to sing with you.
"Please don’t do that to me.”
You laugh at him; the thought of Percy singing a Britney Spears song was way too funny to you. Percy gave you a cautious look, not sure if you were serious or not. “Fine, fine! I shouldn’t take advantage of your kindness,” you admit as your laugh ceases. Percy nods, playfully agreeing with you. “You listen to My Chemical Romance?” You ask, and he scoffs,
“Of course, I listen to My Chemical Romance.”
“Let’s sing Teenagers then,” you suggest. “It’s a crowd favorite. Everyone sings along, so no one has to suffer through your singing. What do you think?” you tease, and you take in his bright smile as he nods his head,
“Sounds good to me.”
masterlist taglist: @nct127bee @xxyrr @mochabreezeee @minamisulemisa @yanfeisluvr
246 notes · View notes
bonny-kookoo · 4 years ago
Text
Hold it (JJK x Reader) 👽💜☁️🔞
Tumblr media
💚 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader
💚 Genre: Alien AU!, friends to lovers, fluff, angst (!), smut
💚 Warnings: (oh boy) soft boi kook, sex talk, angst, miscommunication, small argument, mentions of an animal attack, mentions of blood and a bite wound, aggressive Kookie, you all finally get your nasty time, soft sex, soft!dom Kookster, size kink, strength kink, marking, biting, bruising, manhandling, mentions of attempted masturbation, big dick kook, kook basically has an alien dick what y’all want from me, you wanted this don’t ever forget that, knotting(in a sense, like his dick inflates when he cums lol), lots of cum, transluscent tentacle action, squirting, soft confession, unprotected sex because they can’t reproduce, this is an alien Au pls use condoms in real life thank you, mildly possessive kook, aftercare, messy sex
💚 Summary: The world is literally ending. In a last effort to save earth, the race of Alcor demands humanities planet to be given into their care, as humans have been slowly killing the planet for way too long. But it’s humanity we’re talking about; they never give up without a fight. Even if they should.
Tumblr media
Part of the Alien!JK series!
Catch it | Hold it | Keep it | Save it | ???
Tumblr media
Jungkook's and your relationship slowly became.. more and more intimate you could say.
He'd openly talked about his romantic interest in you several times before, and you've grown quite fond of him as well over the course of time. You've learned that Alcorians had no understanding of sarcasm whatsoever, and typically spoke quite bluntly and openly about what they thought. It was seen as charming if you were able to speak without holding back anything, and it was something your shy self had to get used to first. Jungkook however had studied quite a lot about humans however, so by now, he was a self-proclaimed expert in human behavior. You had to admit though, he did do his homework.
Whenever Namjoon was over to check up on you, (something he had to, since it was a rule made by the alcorian government to check up on humans every month to make sure they're treated well) Jungkook proudly explained to him what he'd learned about your kind, almost like a kid showing a new drawing. He even went out to find cookbooks that described human desserts and treats just to learn how to make some of your favorite thing. It was endearing, really.
You also found out more layers of his personality.
He was incredibly sensitive to smells and fabrics, all of his blankets having a specific soft but not too soft feeling to them. He liked sweet and gentle smells, and always told you that your 'main smell' as he called it, was absolutely his favorite. Alcorians had heightened senses Namjoon had explained to you, which was why Jungkook easily picked up on things that you stayed oblivious to.
He loved if you wore his jackets or sweaters, and he most recently bought you a delicate locket bracelet with his information on it. It was beautifully made and looked great- but you still wore the collar he'd give you most of the time. When he'd asked you once you had explained to him that it was a comfort thing for you- other alcorians could easily spot that you were claimed, and wouldn't look at you funny. He'd smiled at that, and had also made sure to hug you a lot that night.
It took him a while to grow confident enough in his own ability to restrain himself during the night to let you sleep in the same bed as him. He'd been absolutely scared shitless that he'd roll you over in his sleep, but you'd assured him that he didn't move that much, so it would be fine. What he was still completely terrified of, it seemed like, was intimacy.
Now, you both had been getting as far as kissing. He loved the gesture, and loved to kiss you randomly during the day- that wasn't the issue. But whenever you tried to get him to do something more- he found some reason to simply book it before he could let himself be swept away.
And you were growing frustrated.
It wasn't that you couldn't wait for it, or that you were desperate- you could definitely give him time, if he'd finally tell you clearly if he even wanted that with you. If you thought about it, you didn't even know if Alcorians had sex like humans. Maybe they didn't do it like that, maybe they had some odd form of ritual or whatever- you had no idea, and you refused to talk to namjoon about it of all people. You knew that he would probably explain it to you, in quite detail since alcorians were like that, but you somehow wanted Jungkook to explain it to you instead. Yeah, maybe you should ask him about it- or maybe you could be difficult.
So as you laid on the bed that was way too big for you, you simply let your mind wander, having a bit of time for yourself. And as any sex-deprived human being, you decided to let your fantasies take over your mind, uncaring about Jungkook- since he'd been out for a bit, meeting up with a friend he'd said.
You wondered what he'd look like. In a lot of ways, alcorians were very similar to humans- but you somehow had a feeling that there had to be something different about their anatomy if you couldn't reproduce like Namjoon had once mentioned. Judging from his accidental boner a few days ago, you had quite the suspicion that he was.. well packaged, to say the least. He'd been a bit embarrassed about it when you'd shyly pointed it out, and ever since then, he'd made sure to get up earlier than you to avoid you seeing his morning wood, something that you'd told him was completely normal, and not at all something to be ashamed of. He seemed a bit nervous every time you brought that topic up, however, which did make you wonder.
Maybe he just wasn't into you like that? Or maybe he was a rough person in bed. The thought of that made your spine shudder, a spark igniting inside you as your mind came up with images of his hands holding your wrists above your head, those sweet lips of his tracing your skin and leaving prints of invisible fire behind. Your hand slowly wandered lower, fingers pushing against your clothed core as you practically heard him purr into your ear how good you were being for him. Was he possessive? Was he dominant? Or was he gentle and sweet? You couldn't know.
"Y/N I-" He suddenly stood in the door, making you yelp as you quickly pulled the covers over you. A useless action really, since you didn't even get to undress yourself- thankfully. If he would've arrived any later, it would've been so much more awkward. "Are you okay?" He asked, genuine and almost innocent concern in his voice as he looked at you.
This was so fucking awkward.
You could practically feel your cheeks heat up as the embarrassment hit you, realization that you almost masturbated in his bed of all places taking over your mind as you tried to come up with something to talk yourself out of it. "Yeah, yeah! Nothing wrong just eh.. tired." You said, not meeting his gaze as his brows furrowed, now fully taking you in.
You were shy about something, that much he knew. He'd studied your body language by now to a point were he knew that you were okay, but uncomfortable. Your cheeks were tinted a flushed pink, eyes not meeting his as you squeezed the sheets in your hands, legs underneath the covers moving restlessly. His eyes widened as he finally took in every aspect of the situation. Your breath was still a bit quicker than usual, the shyness, and the smell that hung in the air.
"Were you.. pleasuring yourself?" He asked, pupils dilated now that he had connected the dots. You'd been touching yourself in his bedroom, on his bed, while he hadn't been there. Why would you do that? Did you not want him like that? Did he make you uncomfortable?
"I uh.. Oh god this is so awkward." You said, dropping your face into your hands as Jungkook stepped closer, before sitting on the bed, across from you.
"Namjoon had explained to me that humans do that to feel good." He said, gaze never wavering from you as he continued. "But he also said that you only do that when you don't have a partner." He continued, now leaning forwards a bit, voice a bit whiny as he seemed confused. "You have me though? Why would you do that alone if you have me?" He asked, and you just wanted to disappear as you bit your lip, trying to explain it to him without making it sound awkward.
"Jungkook we.. we do that to mainly feel close to, you know, romantic partners." You explained, making his brows furrow even further. "Humans don't, you know, always need to go the full way." You said, as he intently listened. "Touching each other is also a way to feel close." You said, and he suddenly seemed hurt.
"So you don't see me as a romantic partner, is that it?" He said, and you could've sworn, if he had dog ears they would hang low right now with the look he has on his face. "You don't like me enough." He finalized, as you shook your head frantically.
"No Jungkook, I do like you, more than anybody just-" You tried, as his eyes got a bit more hopeful. "Its just hard to explain-" You started, as he cut you off.
"Teach me then. Show me." He said. "I want to know the human way." He almost pleaded, as you sighed.
"Jungkook, its not like I don't want to teach you.." You started, as you looked down. "We humans get uhm.. attached really quickly if we do that with a person. It's like giving away a part of yourself, you know?" You said, and he suddenly grew gentle, now fully realizing what you were on about.
"I-" He began, as he suddenly almost looked shy. "We couldn't do that anyways." He confessed, as you looked at him in question. "I'd hurt you. Thats why I want to, you know, touch you." He explained to you, a finger hesitantly running over the skin on the back of your hand. "I want to be as close to you as I can without having to worry about hurting you.." He murmured, as you took his hand in yours.
"You'd never hurt me Jungkook. I trust you-" You began, but he suddenly shook his head, serious expression on his face as he avoided your gaze.
"No." He said, slowly getting up. "Let's forget this conversation happened, okay?" He said, and you watched helplessly as he left the room. "I'll uhm.. go start dinner." He threw your way before leaving you alone with your thoughts.
Tumblr media
Things were tense between you and jungkook these days.
So tense in fact, that Namjoon noticed it.
"So, I'd say you're quite healthy. Jungkook takes really good care of you I see." He said with a gentle smile, making you reciprocate it in good manner. "However, I kind of have to address the elephant in the room here, as humans would say." He said, and Jungkook furrowed his brows.
"Who or what is an elephant?" He asked, and you giggled at that.
"Doesn't matter. What does however is, that I sense something wrong between you two." Namjoon said, as Jungkook suddenly got very defensive. In all honesty, it shocked you a bit, since you've never seen him like that before.
"That doesn't concern you at all Namjoon." He said, as the elder one suddenly shook his head.
"It does if it affects Y/N's mental health, which it could, in the long run." He stated, making Jungkooks eyes widen.
"Namjoon- I'm fine-" You tried, a hand reaching out for his shoulder as Jungkook dashed forwards, prohibiting you from touching him as he held your hand, a bit too tightly as you whinced, making him snap out of whatever daze he seemed to be in. He however, seemed surprised as well at his outburst.
"That's what I mean." Namjoon said, putting his equipment away. "Have you two had intercourse yet?" He bluntly asked, and you looked at him scandalized, as if he'd just told you your mom was fat. Jungkooks pupils contracted again at that, ready to bark back an angry comment, as Namjoon pushed against the youngers chest. "I assume you didn't, judging by that reaction." He commented, making you want to hide. Why were alcorians so.. blunt. "Jungkook, you either have to find yourself a partner, or I'll have to take her out of your care soon." He stated, and you almost gasped as Jungkook suddenly grew tense as well.
"W-why, you just said I take good care of her-!" He argued, making Namjoon nod.
"You do, but at the same time-" He said, gaze pointing at your now red wrist hidden with your other hand. "-but you're also a danger to her as long as you are as frustrated as you are now." He explained, making jungkook grow serious. "I can't help you with that decision. However, please keep in mind that you're not the only ones that have this form of romantic involvement. What keeps you from involving yourself Jungkook?" He asked the younger, who didn't dare look at you in that moment.
"I'll hurt her Namjoon-" He said, frustrated. "And I honestly really don't want to talk about my sexual involvement with her, thank you very much." He grumbled out between gritted teeth, eyes holding an almost aggressive stare as he looked at the elder one.
"You mean your lack thereof." Namjoon dared to say with a raised eyebrow, as Jungkook suddenly jumped up, grabbing the older one's bag and walking towards the door as he opened it with force, face clearly showing that he'd just crossed a line for him.
"I mean that it's time for you to go, Namjoon." He pressed out, as Namjoon sighed, getting up to walk out, getting no time to say goodbye.
It was probably better that way anyways.
Tumblr media
Things did not get better after this.
Just like Namjoon had worried about, Jungkook slowly became more and more jumpy around you, leaving you alone more and more, as if he needed to distance himself from you. Did he finally grow tired of you? Did he really suffer? Maybe you should just leave him alone for a bit you decided, walking out of the apartment and down the busy streets of the town, aimlessly walking around as you watched other alcorians go after their day. You saw couples, alcorian and mixed, walking hand in hand or simply side by side, an elderly pair watching some young kids running around with a balloon like toy, and a group of friends it seemed, happily chatting away. You spotted some streetfood, sighing internally at forgetting your tiny wallet Jungkook had given you, always containing a bit of money so you could buy yourself a snack whenever you went out. You watched as some uniformed teenagers ran towards the train station- or something that looked quite similar. It worked a bit differently, but Jungkook had once explained that alcorians had been monitoring human inventions for centuries now, taking a lot of inspiration from them.
It all felt a bit sad to you now.
Maybe you were finally growing homesick after your months of living here, or maybe it was the added fuel of Jungkooks slow but steady detachment from you that simply hurt you. But it made you feel almost hollow, and you decided you hated that feeling.
All of this felt so surreal to you.
First you loose your home, then your entire planet, and now you were close to being alone again. Why did that make you so upset though? You'd been living on your own for years now, only having fleeting friendships and a single puppy love back in school. You had no intentions of growing attached to someone, you'd sworn yourself to be independent when your mom had thrown you out years ago- but here you were, almost crying over an alien boy who'd took you in simply because he'd taken pity on you. It all felt like a sick joke.
Something in your pocked buzzed, making you snap out of your thoughts as you fished for the device, Jungkooks face smiling at you as it showed him calling. You wanted to accept the call as if out of habit, but you resisted. Maybe it was better not to.
You put it away again, getting up from the bench you'd been sitting on as you continued walking towards nowhere, suns slowly dipping low as the skies became purple and fiery red, signaling the return of night. You should turn around by now, you knew this. Alcorian nights were not only chilly but downright icy- way too cold for your fragile body, as Jungkook always said before wrapping one of his scarfs around you.
The steady buzz in your pocket was getting annoying, as you took it out, only to see that he didn't call. In fact, he'd been writing messages? Jungkook never texted.
'Where are you little one?'
'Are you mad at me?'
'Did I do something wrong? I swear I didn't mean to!'
'Please, its getting dark, where are you? Are you wearing your coat at least?'
'I'm sorry, whatever I did, please. I'm worried little one!'
You looked at the messaged with increasing guilt as another one rolled in.
'Please come home.'
You sighed, dialing his number as you wrapped your unoccupied arm around yourself, the chill now seeping into your bones slowly. Jungkook almost immediately picked up, voice breathless as if he'd run a marathon. You could faintly hear people talking in the background, and his boots on the ground as he.. ran?
"Finally! Please, where are you, I'm so worried-" He said, and you slowly felt your teeth clatter against each other as you shivered.
"I uh.. I don't know, honestly." You admitted, and Jungkook seemed to stop in his tracks.
"What do you see around you?" He asked, voice serious as you looked around.
"I- a small store, but it seems closed. There's like, a road and uhm.. a lot of plants. Looks like a forest?" You said, before something caught your eye. "There's uhm.. Something looking at me?" You said, and Jungkooks inner alarm bells were immediately ringing.
"Is there a sign that says 'Malvor' on it?" He asked, and you confirmed with a worried voice.
"Yeah uhm and- there's a dog-like thing now walking towards me?" You said, and Jungkook answered instantly.
"Dog..? Dog-! Y/N, get away from it, but dont run." He said seriously, making you swallow as you watched the creature with huge ears stalk towards you, visibly interested. It didn't seem all that harmful. "Little one, answer me. Did you get what I said?" He asked, and you answered.
"Yeah yeah I got it eh.. I'm.." You started, as suddenly, the.. dog? Whatever it was, jumped forwards, making you drop your phone as its teeth latched onto your shirt, quickly loosing interest in the fabric as it decided to take your arm instead- spiky teeth immediately breaking skin as you yelped out, trying to open its mouth with your unoccupied hand. The commotion was loud enough to lure out an alcorian man nearby, who gruffly threw stray pebbles at the animal, scaring it off after a moment.
"Fuck- are you okay?" The stranger asked, bright cateyes looking down at you as he turned around. "Joon! Come down!" He yelled, as you looked into the direction with teary eyes, spotting- Namjoon?
"Oh Y/N- what happened?" He asked, suddenly visibly worried as he looked at you, immediately helping you up and leading you inside the house nearby that seemed to be his apartment. He looked different, now that he didn't wear his work attire. He almost looked domestic. "Set her down there, I'll go get a first aid kit." He said, before you were led to sit on a couch, the person that threw pebbles before sitting down next to you.
"I'm Jin. We'll fix you right up, okay?" He softly said, voice gentle and reminding you of the store owner down on earth who always let you roam around inside the store during winter. "Don't cry, it's gonna be okay. Encounters with Velvens can be scary yeah?" He consoled you, hands holding your arm gently as he waited for Namjoon to get everything he needed. You sniffled, trying not to cry, but it got harder the more you tried not to look down. As soon as you did, you began to feel nauseous as Jin pulled at your chin. "No no no don't look sweetheart." He said, before Namjoon came downstairs.
"These things are getting progressively more daring these days." He mumbled as he took out scissors to cut the sleeve of your shirt. "I tell you, it's because that damn lady feeding those goddamn things!" He complained, as Jin sighed. You looked at him for a second, taking in his appearance. He had broad shoulders, and an absolutely charming face- his bright eyes contrasting his dark hair as he held a gentle smile on his plush lips, trying to calm you down it seemed. "I'll give you a tiny injection okay? Its to numb your arm, or otherwise it'll hurt too bad." Namjoon explained, and you nodded, even though you were internally terrified. "one two- there we go!" He hummed out, Jin steadily running his hand over your back as he watched you.
"You're so brave young lady." He complimented, velvet voice helping a bit to ease your worry. It wasn't just your encounter with whatever that thing was, but also the fact that for the first time, you were somewhere without Jungkook- and it made you extremely anxious to say the least. Thats when you remembered your phone.
"My phone-" You began, before someone knocked at the door- or more like, tried to kick it in, it seemed. The voice that rang through the room through the door however, was familiar to your ears.
"Y/N! Namjoon, Jin, have you seen her?! There's- oh god there's blood out here-" He said worried, as Jin slowly stood up, opening the door as he simply pointed towards your form, sitting on the couch as Namjoon cleaned the bite wound. At the sight of him, all worried and out of breath, the guilt suddenly flooded your mind as you teared up, finally cracking up as the tears ran down your cheek, a sob escaping you as you began to cry. "Oh little one-" He immediately said, running towards you. 
  Jin looked from you to Jungkook worried. "Why is she crying now? Is she scared?" He asked confused, as the second oldest in the room shook his head.
  "Probably the shock. It's normal for humans, they're a bit more sensitive to these things, remember?" He said softly, as Jin nodded.
  Jungkook didn't seem to care about what was said as he squatted down next to Namjoon, hand running over your head before it cupped your cheek, his eyes blown wide open as he looked at you, then at the wound. "She's gonna be okay right?" He asked, and Namjoon nodded.
"It pulled a bit on her arm, which did a good amount of damage, but its only a surface wound, surprisingly." He explained. "I'll stitch the biggest spots, and bandage it." He said, and Jungkook nodded. "You'll be able to do it afterwards if you watch me do it, right?" He asked, and Jungkook nodded, serious, as he held your other hand. He sat down, close to you, as he now took over Jins earlier part of rubbing your back. "And there we go." Namjoon said, as he finished it. "I'd give you pain medicine but I don't have anything for humans. I'll give you some kids medication instead. That should be fine." He explained, as he gave Jungkook a small package. "Please keep an eye on her from now on. She's gotten away this time, and I wont ask why she was so far away from you in the first place. But the next time this happens, I will have to report it Jungkook." He said, making Jungkook lower his head as he nodded.
He took off his jacket as he threw it over your shoulders, picking you up as he said his goodbyes to Jin and Namjoon, walking out with you in his arms.
Tumblr media
"Jungkook?" You carefully asked one night, making him humm as he confirmed that he was listening. "I.. want to know." You said, and it took him a moment until he turned on the light beside the bed, leaning on his arm as he looked at you questioningly. "You said, you're sure you'd hurt me. I wanna know why." You said, and he sighed, before he sat up.
"I uhm.." He started, as he scratched the back of his neck. "I'ts just, not gonna fit." He explained, as you tried to push your shyness to the side.
"But you know.. we haven't tried yet-" You began, as he shook his head.
"I said no." He sternly said, making you visibly deflate as he sighed again.
"I.. we could still, you know.." He began, and you looked at him, as he seemed to struggle a bit with his words. "I know you want to be close to me, and I want that too." He said, and you sat up now as well, looking at him.
"It's okay if you want to be with someone else-" You began, but he groaned, as if he was frustrated.
"No! Now I get why you left that day.." He held your head in his hands as he looked at you with gentle eyes. "I don't want anyone else that's not you little one." He confessed, and you just stared, as he leaned in, connecting his lips with yours.
Usually, his kisses were more like little pecks, small gestures of affection, never to lead to anything else. But this time, he asked for it. It was as if he'd let himself loose, kissing you fully for the first time, not backing away like typically when you leaned in with need. He parted your lips with his tongue, hands lowering themselves as they moved over your arms, resting on your thighs as he closed his eyes, loosing himself in the feeling of you. He finally moved around a bit, laying you down on your back as he towered over you, body shielding you away from the world as his hands finally explored your bare skin underneath the small layer of clothing you wore, chuckling as you whined when his hand softly squeezed one of your breasts, loving the soft feeling of it. "You're so cute." He whispered, making you squirm underneath him as his breathing quickened, holding himself back from absolutely ruining you.
He suddenly took off his shirt, helping you out of yours as he growled at the fact that you didn't wear a bra at all to sleep. It didn't really bug him usually, but now, he wondered how he managed to contain himself next to you for all these nights next to you, the only thing between his and your skin a mere piece of fabric. Your skin was pure sin underneath his fingertips as he felt himself twitch inside his sweats. He needed to get out of them.
He helped you out of your shorts, taking your underwear with them as his gaze got stuck on the small strand of glistening wetness clinging to the fabric of your panties. It was a clear sign how aroused you were, and it was an absolute compliment towards him in his own eyes- the fact that he could rile you up like this so quickly made him feel proud in a way. He growled almost at the sight, hand immediately finding its way downwards as his fingers teasingly running over your folds, his face showing how mesmerized he was by your body's reaction to him.
There was a reason alcorian woman were envious of human ones- and Jungkook finally found some reasoning behind the 'human-kink' going on with the arrival of your race on his homeplanet. Your body just screamed fertility at him, and it made him desperate as he finally got rid of the last pieces of clothing.
You didn't quite know what you were expecting, but your mind was empty as you made eye contact with his painfully erect length.
He was practically oozing precum at this stage, standing proudly as you somehow understood now where his worries came from. To be quite blunt about it, he looked quite normal, a little bigger even for his own body height, apart from the soft looking growth on the base of himself. "It looks odd to you, doesn't it?" He saig as he chuckled a bit hesitantly, having watched your reaction to him. You shook your head however, smiling as you reached for his shoulders, pulling him down again as you kissed his lips. He smiled into it, hands never leaving your skin as you felt him against your inner thigh, growing uneasy that he was so close- but still too far away.
"Hm I told you no little one.." He hummed against your neck as he left open mouthed kisses there, teasingly biting the skin there from time to time as you whined. "But there's other things we can do, don't worry.." He whispered, as he suddenly moved you a bit, careful not to be too rough as he lined your wet center up, the back of your thighs leaning on top of his as he sat on his knees, his cock resting between your lower lips. He almost let out a whine at the feeling of your warmth just underneath him as he simply let his length move over your core as you mewled at the feeling of him rubbing over your clit. He squeezed his eyes shut, summoning all his self control as he dropped down, hands gripping your thighs, yet gentle enough not to seriously hurt you.
He suddenly shifted again, leaning down with his chest first onto the mattress first as he threw your legs over his shoulders, leaking core exposed to him as he licked a stripe up your folds, teasing you as you tried to keep your legs apart. He hummed against you, making you whine out pleadingly as he entered a finger of his, groaning at the feeling of you already clenching around him. "You're so soft little one.." He praised, adding another finger as he began to stretch you out, making you grasp the sheets below you in desperate fists. Digit after digit he tested the waters, stretching you out more and more as you became restless, suddenly tensing up as you felt yourself close. "My little human gonna cum?" He questioned, leaning his head on the inside of your upper thigh as he began to stimulate your most sensitive bundle of nerves, watching in absolute adoration as you suddenly mewled out, core clenching around nothing as he slowed down his movements, letting you ride it out. He smiled down at you as he gently placed your legs back down, giving you a moment to breathe as you looked at him, or his still very uncomfortable looking errection between his legs.
"Please koo.. lets just try-" You began, as he furrowed his brows, gasping as your fingers reached down, barely reaching the sensitive head of his member as he tried to deny your request.
He couldn't.
"I'll.. You have to tell me when its too much, please-" He pleaded, and you nodded frantically, happy to finally have him give you everything you wanted. "Okay, okay.." He chanted, as if to calm himself down, his tensed up thighs a clear sign of his own frustration. He slowly aligned himself with your core, gently pressing his head into your patiently waiting hole, as you closed your eyes, trying to not concentrate on the sting. "Shh.. please relax little one-" He chanted as he took it as slow as possible. "Please relax, I won't get it in if you're too tense baby.." He said, the petname making you melt under his gaze as you took a deep breath, slowly loosening up for him as he was slowly able to push himself inside more and more, watching as he could see himself slightly move inside you just underneath your lower belly.
He didn't know why exactly, but he loved the sight of it.
You looked to absolutely adorable in a way, speared on his length as he rubbed his thumbs over your hipbones, careful as ever not to make it too painful for you. "You're taking me so well, you're so perfect for me.." He hummed out, as you suddenly twitched underneath him when his weird small growth touched your sensitive clit, making him chuckle. "You know.." He suddenly said, voice deep and dark as you felt yourself shiver. "They say human females can cum multiple times.." He explained, making you open your eyes a bit in question. "I wonder if that's just a rumor?" He mused, watching you as you looked a bit confused. "Alcorian girls rarely ever cum.." He explained, as you slowly connected the pieces, somehow understanding what he was saying. You'd heard that before as well, that Alcorians had a hard time really getting pregnant and since woman rarely ever orgasmed, men had to step up their game evolution wise Namjoon had said, but you hadn't really asked what he meant by that. But now that you've noticed it, it did make sense; the weird stimulating.. whatever that was, the amount of precum that seemed almost ridiculous for human standards- it made you wonder what else he was hiding.
"There we go.." He finally said, not fully inside, but knowing that this was as far as he could go with you. There was no way he could fit himself inside you fully, and he knew that. He simply let yourself adjust for a moment, before he moves, a moan leaving him as he bit his lip, trying to keep his pace slow and steady for you as you arched your back enticingly, making him grab at your chest. "You're so- enchanting-" He gasped out between breaths, an almost sobbing sound escaping him without tears as he finally realized how close he was with you. He was connected in the most intimate of ways, and he could finally see why humans found pleasure in an act as basic as this.
You felt like home, warm and comforting.
You became a bit jumpy as something foreign seemed to touch you- warm and gentle, but you couldn't quite make out it's shape or form. It was blurred, as if summer heat was distorting the scene for you, and you wondered immediately if this was just your imagination. But Jungkook noticed your confusion immediately it seemed, smiling a bit shyly at you. "They're uhm.." He tried to think of a good way to explain it while having foggy thoughts, still buried so deep inside you. "we call them ferons.." He hummed, and you reached out, fingers immediately retracting at the weird feeling of them. "They're usually.. not visible-" He gasped out, chuckling at the way you seemed so interested in them. "They're ah-.. they're a remnant of when we uh.. had to survive on our own." He explained, as one of them gently moved over your ribs, a touch similar to warm water- just without the wet feeling. It was more like a red warming lamp shining on your skin. "They must be weird to you, hm?" He asked, head dipping down as you smiled, hand finding its way into his hair as you closed your eyes again, letting yourself go into his care without worry.
"Nothing about you is weird to me, Jungkook." You hummed out, and he kissed your skin in exchange.
As if to thank you silently for accepting him.
His lips parted, face dipped down to mouth at your neck, as he breathlessly pleaded. "Can I mark you?" He chanted, as if he was in a trance. "Please let me mark you.. please little one, let me make you mine.." He said, and you nodded, unknowing to what exactly you'd just agreed to.
You found out quite quickly, as he suddenly took a small bit of skin between his teeth, now biting with much more force until he tasted a slight taste of iron on his tongue, leaving marks all along your neck and collarbone, bruises already blooming to blossom into beautiful shades of purples and greens, his mark staying behind for a long time. He smiled as if he was high, loosing himself in the feeling of your body underneath him as you suddenly quivered, whining out as you pushed your head into the mattress below you, making your back arch as he continued at his pace, going a bit faster as something moved over your clit, something holding your hips in place as you suddenly snapped, orgasm rushing through you as you finally flew over the edge, your thighs trembling as you felt wetness escape you, making him release a sound that sounded awfully like a growl.
Suddenly he came- and you felt like you were splitting into two.
Something was happening inside you, growing in size, as he was suddenly locked in place it seemed, hands carefully running over your head as he started to frantically console you. "It's okay, its okay.." He repeated in a soothing way as you felt him spill inside you to no end it seemed, feeling how he stretched you even more inside. You felt like you'd burst any second. "Ngh.. you're taking it so well, so good, so perfect.." He exhaled, letting his forehead fall against your shoulder as he breathed heavily. "You're okay, you're fine.." He hummed as he slowly felt you calm down as he stayed still, waiting for his cock to soften up again and deflate, as he kissed your cheeks, your nose, your lips in absolute adoration, warm ferons warming up your still shivering legs. "My god you're so sweet-" He murmured. "So absolutely perfect-" He continued. "And mine.. only mine.. my little human.." He sang almost as he kissed the marks he'd left behind.
It felt odd as he finally softened up, cum instantly seeping out of you as he was able to comfortably slip out of you. You whined at the empty feeling and he cooed at you. "I'm so sorry- I originally was planning on pulling out before that happened, but then you... did that and-" He chuckled, as he kissed your nose again, making you giggle. "I love you." He confessed, and you opened your eyes, gaze locking with his.
"I love you too."
Tumblr media
"You could've warned me of your.. weird invisible tentacles and all that-" You started randomly as he threw his head back, cheeks dursted pink as he held his hands over his face in embarrassment.
"Stop-!" He whined, as you laughed your heart out.
"I thought you alcorians didn't feel shame all that much about this stuff?" You teased, as he looked at you, playfully angry stare sent your way, before he got up from his spot, throwing you over his shoulder.
"Oh I'm gonna show you how unashamed we are."
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
erectionsandtea · 3 years ago
Text
Roller rink skate date headcanons! (poly party) insp. by this post, for @mike-wheeler-is-gay (I know you wanted byler specifically and I usually write poly party, but I tried to stick some extra byler in here for you, I hope I did it justice and that you like it!)
So many paragraphs this should really just be a fic, I'm sorry
- Mike is super tall and gangly is absolutely the worst skater in the party (tied only with Lucas, who put on his very first pair of skates and promptly fell on his face and they weren't even on the rink yet, they were still on the carpet area)
- the moment Mike steps into the actual skating floor, he falls bc he's tall gangly uncoordinated Mike, and Will is just standing there rolling his eyes, like "babe, you're a mess" but he doesn't mind bc it means he gets to hold Mike's hand (and hold Mike in general) while he helps his bf balance and skate
- and Mike is like "I don't deserve you, why are you even with me, I'm so awkward" (poor self deprecating bby), and you know Will would respond with "are you kidding, you're amazing, why are YOU with ME?" (also a self deprecating bby), but then he falls and pulls Will down with him (aka on top of him lol)
- and they laugh, and just as their lips touch, the moment is ruined by Max zooming in their direction screaming "get up before you get run over!!" And she manages to avoid them (being the zoomer that she is) but Lucas has to swerve and falls the fuck over ofc (luckily the rink isn't super crowded that day so nobody's in any real danger)
- and Dustin is looking at byler like "this isn't even that hard guys, come on, are you even trying??"
- El and Will have totally been going to the rink (sibling bonding yo) and everyone realizes that's how they got so good bc El is totally the best skater in the group
- except for Suzie who is a skating queen
- El and Suzie totally having races from one end of the rink to the other
- Max totally joining them and they let her win, just once
- Dustin joining them and after he wins twice in a row (pure luck), Max and El pretend cross his path and bump into him, totally fucking him up, and Dustin's just like "are you shitting me?" (but it's all in good fun, everyone knows that)
- El and Max holding hands as El helps her get better at skating, bc Max is decent on skates but better on her skateboard (bc how do you wheels on both feet separately ??) (like skiing vs snowboarding)
- byler doing that thing where holding hands facing each other, and Mike learning how to actually move his feet and skate forward, and that's propelling Will backward (and Will constantly throwing praise at him and Mike grinning so big bc he's doing it! lol)
- Will and Mike holding hands as they slowly skate around the edge of the rink
- Mike needing to stop a moment and grab the wall to keep himself up and steady, and Will coming around in front of him, his hands over Mike's,and they stand there all adorable and then kisses (except Mike has to duck down bc Will cannot stand on his tippy-toes in skates)
- eventually Mike is like "I need a break" (from falling and stuff, tho he has gotten better) and he goes to sit down
- and then El comes over to join him bc "you looked lonely" (he isn't really lonely, he just kind of has a resting bitch face sometimes, tell me I'm wrong, am I actually wrong tho ??)
- they sit together in silence, watching the rest of the group playing some weird skate-tag game (rules at the bottom)
- Mike is watching Will with a smile on his face, laughing and having fun, and he says to nobody, really "what did I ever do to deserve him?"
- El replies "probably whatever I did to deserve you" and they look at each other and smile and then cute lil Mileven kiss
- their hands reach over (cos they are sitting like RIGHT next to each other, no space)
- they continue to sit there, hands clasped, her head on his shoulder, watching the group and sometimes making comments to each other and laughing
- after a while Will comes over to check on his bf and sis) ("I don't know which is more bruised, my knees or my ego" -> Mike, "you're doing really well!" -> El), which is actually kind of nice for El bc she wants to go skate some more but she doesn't want to leave Mike by himself
- before she leaves tho, she wants a kiss, so still holding Mike's hand she gets up and wheels around to face him and grabs his other hand and is like "I want a kiss" bc she's just blunt like that (it's a good thing)
- and mike laughs at her bluntness bc SO CUTE, and so Mike gives her one of those super cute kisses where he puts his hands on the sides of her face, you know? And she has to balance herself by putting her hands on his knees (Sorry, I just had to get a Mileven kiss in here)
(so much detail in those moments ^ I'm...sorry?)
- so Will sits there with Mike, and they hold hands and share kisses and say cute sweet things to each other, and honestly they spend more time looking at each other than anyone/thing else
- Will goes and buys them one giant drink to share bc boys gotta stay hydrated (can someone please draw this or maybe ALL of this idk ??)
- the rest of the group annoys them (but not really) by hanging over the wall and saying "AWWW" super loud and making kissy faces
- and then El comes back over later and says "okay, that's enough sitting down, we're going back skating, come on" and she grabs Mike's hand and Will's hand and tries to pull them up but it's hard bc wheels (like she's about to slip and the boys have to grab her arms to catch her), but the boys comply and go back to the rink floor
- Dustin and Suzie can totally do skate-dancing, whatever that is (and they totally get applause)
- Max skating by everyone so many times and being like "zoomer!" and everyone is like "pls stop, we get it"
- Dustin trying to tell help Lucas how to skate by actually explaining how the skates and the rubber stoppers work, and Lucas not getting it and just being like "can you explain in English please??" And Dustin throws his hands up like "I fucking give up, you're hopeless"
- Max learns how to skate in a small circle (basically just turning around without stepping) and she's super fucking proud of herself and does it constantly
- Max eventually needs to be stopped by El and Lucas bc "babe, you're gonna get so dizzy" (you can decide who says that 😊) but it's too late bc she's already dizzy
- Lucas and El lead Max off the rink floor and she just immediately falls down to sit on the carpet bc so dizzy and El falls down next to her bc hand holding (she gets pulled), and Lucas sits down too
- the girls can't stop laughing and Lucas is looking at them like "tf is wrong with you guys?" (but not really), also he's just smiling at them and laughing with them bc goddamn they are so cute, his girlfriend is the most beautiful girl in the world and seeing her as she is right now just inflates his heart
- eventually Max can't stay upright so she lies back and El follows her and they are just lying there together (Max on her back, El on her side facing Max, no space), giggling so hard, they can't stop laughing for some reason (I think it's bc when one laughs, it makes the other laugh too)
- Max is like "you, boyfriend, kiss" and so Lucas complies
- an employee has to come over and say "you can't lie down here, it's a safety hazard" and Lucas is like "we're sorry, sir" and he's like "babe, we gotta move"
- so he gets the girls up and they bring max to a bench where she can sit, instead of sitting tho, she lies down again, on the bench with her head in El's lap, and then elmax kisses as El plays with her hair
- El and Max basically take over the bench that Mike and Will were sitting on, and they also steal the boys' giant drink (barely a quarter empty) cos hydration
- Will and Mike trying to kiss while not holding the wall, but fucking down AnD having his eyes closed throws Mike way off balance bc what a klutz, and then he falls and Will is fuckin laughing and he feels bad but also it's funny
- so then Will gets down too (more gracefully but lbr, anyone can be more graceful than Mike, without even trying) and is like "it's okay, we can do this here" and then sitting kisses
- El trying to help Mike but she's having too much fun and ends up just speeding around while Mike tries to catch up with her, and she has to keep going back for him
- Mike feeling kind of embarrassed bc his gf is amazing while his own skating is questionable, and he confides this to her and is like "why are you with me, I'm so clumsy and awkward" (self deprecating again), but El makes him feel better by telling him that she's with him bc she loves him and actually she thinks it's kind of cute that he's not that good at skating and she likes being the one who helps him for once (bc he's helped her for so long with so much)
- and then Mike gives her one of his lil mike-smiles (you know the one I mean, like the one right after he kisses her for the very first time, in season 1)
- and then a Mileven kiss, but Mike almost loses his balance again like he did with the byler kiss, but El can sense it's about to happen and has to break their kiss to hold him up (she's holding both his hands, fingers intertwined), but it's okay, they just smile at each other share a little laugh at the situation and how uncoordinated he is, and they scoot their skates really close together in a sort-of huh type thing
- arcade games after!! (But I'll put that in its own separate post 😄)
- rules to the weird skate-tag game: 1) the wall is the safe zone, but you can only stay there for 10 seconds at a time 2) you cannot untouch the wall for one second and then go back to touching it for 10 seconds, you have to actually leave the wall and skate (HOWEVER you can try to skate from the wall on one end of the rink to the wall at the other end) 3) you are allowed to skate around the edge while touching the wall, as long as you only do so for no more than 10 seconds 4) whoever is 'it' cannot hover around those on the wall 5) crashing into someone does not count as tagging them 6) no tag backs
~
I tried to get equal parts of all the ships in this one but I know I failed miserably, I'm so sorry lol (clearly you can tell who I ship the most)
If you want to add more (I will if I think of any), send me ideas, or request anything, please feel free! 😀👍🏻
60 notes · View notes
moondustis · 4 years ago
Text
remember when (m)
Tumblr media
pairing: jaehyun + reader genre: angst, smut, soulmate!au, rich kid!au, convenience marriage!au, hurt/comfort, college!au (more details + warnings after read more)  word count: 12,7k summary: A story about vulnerability and the lines we draw to avoid it. About soulmates, desires, setting yourself free. And, of course, a story about love and discovering exactly what it is. song recs: skin by mac miller and pure love by hayley williams 
warnings: there are some mentions of drug use, brief mention of mental issues, bad parenting. just overall some subjects that might not be comfortable to read like i usually put on my fics but it's nothing out of the ordinary, and nothing graphics happens!  disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. none of the events described are real or are an accurate representation of the people and brands named. 
a/n: i would like to thank mary (neostains) for requesting this fic and cami (caiuscassiuss) for helping me with some informations about how ivy leagues work lol. this is my longest work so far, i think, and it’s a very special one. i hope you guys enjoy it! 
There was a time in your childhood where you remember being obsessed with princess movies. Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, name a fairytale and you would have probably watched it a couple of times, entranced by the images playing on the newest television your father had bought.
Isn’t it fucked up that young girls are always fed this stereotypical image of love? It’s like a woman is not good for anything but to love someone, to be a half until she found the other and became whole. At 8 you ate that up like no one else.
At 11 your mother hires someone to give you a talk, about how the world worked and about the weird name that would appear in your arm once you turned 18. It feels like a lecture, the woman telling you about perfect matches, the probabilities of love and soulmates in a flat tone that didn’t make you feel as excited as you did watching the fairytales you used to like. When you tell your friends at school about it, they act surprised at the way you were told and instead, tell you about the stories about meeting your true love their own parents had shared.
At 15, your mother enrolls you in preparatory school, with full theatricals about intellects and getting into the best college possible so you can do your duty as heir of your father’s company when it becomes necessary.
It takes you a while, but you realize finally that love is nothing compared to money when you see for the first time that the name on your mother's wrist is not your fathers. Not long after that, you find out that for the sake of the company, you would be marrying Jung Jaehyun, heir of the second biggest automobilistic company in the country.
At 18 you think romance and love are trivial things.
NOVEMBER, 2013
It’s a harsh winter, one that makes your hands tremble and your head hurt more than usual.
You rub at your temples as you make your way down the hallway as students pass by you at the same pace as yours to get to their next class. A dreading routine, one that is so busy it leaves you with no time to think of anything else but the essay you have to write, or the grade you have been waiting to receive.
Today, though, your headache is so intense that your mind is filled with nothing but a black void.
Despite that, you walk in small steps to your literature lecture. Your bag feels as heavy as your head and the thick wool sweater you have on is barely enough to keep you warm, legs shivering from the stupid skirt they made you wear. Knee length, of course, but still a bother to sit and move.
Fuck boarding school, is what you think as you pass a group of boys talking loudly. One of them has a Harvard pin on his cardigan, you notice in the back of your mind. It only makes you feel sicker.
The first bell rings and you realize how slow you have been really walking. A faster pace, a muttered curse and then the second bells makes you feel like your ears are melting, headache increasing. Now you’re late, a rare occurrence that will probably not affect your records in any way, but still, makes you walk faster.
It all happens very fast. You turn into the corridor that leads to your classroom but not a second later you’re bumping straight into someone, books in your hand scattering to the floor and head spinning from the impact. It’s hard keeping your balance, but the harsh grip on your forearms helps and then you’re opening your eyes, that you didn't notice you had squeezed shut in the first place.
“Fuck, I’m really sorry.” The voice is familiar but the curse feels alien on your ears. Jung Jaehyun never curses, he has manners better than that. “I’m running late and walking too fast.”
He mumbles and you almost snort at the obviousness of it all. At the fact you were literally doing the same thing. “It’s okay. I should’ve been paying more attention.” There’s no reason for either of you to be apologizing, is what you think about as your hand immediately moves to your temple again in hopes pressing on it will cease the pain.
He’s looking right at you when you finally meet his eyes. His face is painted with embarrassment, the red hue on his ears a dead giveaway. He doesn’t keep eye contact for more than five second, instead moving to pick up your books for you. “Still, I’m very sorry.” He sounds polite, as always. The curse from before is still fresh on your mind.
You had met Jung Jaehyun at the age of 9, not that you remember exactly how it went. Some random brunch where you and him sat side by side as your mothers talked about whatever was happening seven years ago. You remember your old nanny being there, and how she asked sweetly if you would like more juice. You remember missing her when she got fired three weeks later for unrelated matters that were never told to you. And that’s about it.
After that, the years passed with Jaehyun being a weird presence in your life. The rich kids ran in the same circles, that didn’t take you a long time to realize and wherever you went he was there too.
German classes at 11, the birthday party of the daughter of someone you didn't know at 12, etiquette classes at 13. An event for your father's company at 14, one of his fathers at 15 and now at 16, attending the same boarding school and having to meet each other like this, with awkward smiles and polite conversation. Because navigating a relationship you didn't know the other very well, but too well at the same time was a weird thing to do.
Jung Jaehyun was like you, but at the same time he wasn't. You were friends but at the same time merely acquaintances.
But this you remember vividly: him asking you random things at german classes and making you laugh with his awkward pronunciation. Him eating cake by your side at the birthday party, covering his lips before he asked you if you like chocolate or vanilla more. Him making fun of you quietly for dropping down your fork loudly in the middle of etiquette class. Him standing awkwardly by your side while you got reprimanded by your mother during the event, for not properly remembering the name of a lady that came to greet you, your head down as you forced yourself not to cry in front of him.
And then, his father clapping yours on the back after they talked about how lovely it would be if someday the two of you got married to join economic forces. No, not someday. When you two got married.
You, pretending he didn't exist after that day, because you realized that this too you wouldn't get to decide.
Jaehyun clears his throat, hands you your books. “How is your father?” He asks, a stupid question to ask when you're both late. A stupid question to ask, period.
You try not to grimace. “He's okay. Alive.” And then he’s chuckling lowly, awkwardly.
“That’s good, no company to run at 16 then.” He tries to joke and it's amusing, in a way that for someone else might not be. But you two are the same, at least when it comes to this.
“And hopefully never.” A stupid thing to hope for, but still he smiles at you.
Then the moment is over, the third alarm sounds and both your eyes shoot open and you’re muttering goodbyes before heading to your classes.
Your head still hurts, but you don’t feel as cold anymore.
2015
Anticipation, isn’t that just a fancier word to describe the gut feeling that something is going to happen? Worst yet when you know exactly what it is, but have no possible ways of knowing the possible outcome.
There’s a window behind your advisor, with a view to the field where the lacrosse team practices. You watch it with a lack of interest as the older lady flips through pages and more pages of what is possibly your future.
No, not possibly. Definitely your future. Because at least to this, you knew the only outcome possible.
It’s a pretty day, one that shouldn’t be spent inside a room with wood furniture and shelves and more shelves of books, that are almost as many as the certificates on the wall. Not when it also happens to be your birthday.
“This is a really good essay, ___. You have a talent with words.” Your advisor breaks the silence in a flat voice despite it being a compliment. It makes your eyes immediately refocus on her but she gives you no time yet to reply. “I am sure the admission team will read it with interest.”
“Thank you.” A polite smile reaches your lips. She was never much of a praiser, not that she needed to be. Your last name carried all the confidence you needed to have for a thing like this.
And, perhaps the interest they would be having would be exactly about that. What does the only heir of the biggest automotive company in the country have to offer for Stanford? Probably a lot, with a weight that heavy on her shoulders.
“You have started applications to only two schools, are you sure you would not like to add more?” Now she says it in a weirdly soft tone. Persuasion, because it would look good for the school that one of their best students accepted to all the ivy leagues. Your GPA would make sure of that, but that's not all.
“I don’t see the point. Stanford has always been my only choice.” You say it as nicely as possible because this is an old conversation.
“I see, well. This is it then, there's a few other students interested in attending Stanford too." She smiles bitterly, gathering the papers and putting it back on their respective folders. "But the chances of you getting in are very good. I'm sure all your hard work will pay off.”
You go to thank her but at that moment there's a pinch on your arm that leaves you distracted. It's followed by a weird burning sensation that doesn't cease when you grip it underneath the table as gently as possible. If anything, the fabric of your cardigan only makes it worse.
She bids you your goodbyes, with pleasantries exchanged but when you reach the door to leave she interrupts. “Oh, I almost forgot. Happy birthday, ____.” She smiles when you turn to thank her. “Please enjoy the rest of the day, turning 18 is very special.”
With a small bitter smile and promise to do so, you leave the room.
You reach your dorm room in no time, a stoic face on but with quick steps. And you try not to think about it, but the burning sensation on your arms continues.
It goes like this:
You close the door behind you gently, dropping your things down and immediately crumbling as you slide to the floor, unable to stand still anymore. You cry, for the second time today because birthdays were just not good. For about 10 minutes that's all that happens, your silent sobs and complete silence filling the room.
The burning in your arms stays there as a painful reminder and it tempts you to look, even though you know that the outcome didn't matter, not for you. Because behind blurry teary eyes you can see perfectly the image of your own mother's arm and the name of someone you didn't know, that she probably also didn't.
Because you are now 18 and you think romance and love are trivial things, that's all they could be.
You are now 18, and when you can't stand not knowing for another minute, you raise the sleeve of your cardigan and the name Jung Jaehyun is there on your wrist.
An ugly, incredulous laugh leaves your lips and soon turns into a sob. Of course it had to be him, you and Jung Jaehyun were tied to each other for a reason that was beyond fate.
You squeeze your eyes at the same time your hands squeeze your thighs, trying to get a grip. You calm yourself down, deep breaths in and out, your mind providing the good and the bad. No matter how you looked at it, it seemed like a trick the universe was playing on you. One, it would be worse if another name appeared, a name that you would have to pretend didn't exist, because this was just another thing you didn't have a say in. This was supposed to happen anyway, maybe it was better this way.
Then your mind provides another thought that makes your mind swirl. Jung Jaehyun had turned 18 in February, your name had appeared on his arms months ago and he didn't say a word about it to you, or to anyone for all you know. Maybe he was pretending too, maybe he wanted more time thinking that at least this he would get to choose.
Well, whatever fairytale that had been created inside stupid minds, was gone now.
The whole thing is announced two weeks later, in a gossip magazine with information from an inside source. Information that is carefully crafted from a marketing team the moment you reveal the result.
A result, like a test had been applied and you got Jung Jaehyun for whatever reason.
You exchange pleasantries the next time you see him, no trace of being too young to know the rest of your lives already. You just look at each other in maybe defeat, while your families make a toast to celebrate a wedding to take place in a few years from now. A wedding that held meaning beyond the marks that tied the two of you. Destiny just helped a little bit, it was just a good excuse to justify a marriage that had been arranged ages ago.
A month later you get accepted to Stanford, of course you do. And your mother's smile is a loud reminder of every single time she called you and inquired about every grade, every step you made to make sure this happened and that it all happened accordingly.
It doesn't take you long to find out Jaehyun got accepted there too.
AUGUST 2016
The heels of your Miu Miu boots make small stomping noises on the wood floor sounds as you walk through shelves and shelves filled with books. It’s not a loud sound, probably only perceived by your own ears, and you let it distract you as you navigate the big corridors of the Green Library.
Stanford had made your eyes shine during your first visit and then for the first months of your freshman year. The thrill of finally experiencing something new and yet undiscovered carried on until it gave space to normalcy, another routine. But this time, a feeling blossomed inside your stomach with wanting to eat it up.
A feeling that died and resurrected every now and then, but you played it safe. Navigating it with baby steps with fear of what could happen if you strained a little too far from the line. And what could that be? A magazine spread on how a famous philanthropic's daughter parties too hard in college, with pictures of you doing a line on marble countertops?  A class failed and the disappointment on your mother's voice when she called you? A scandal about your night escapades? You didn’t want to find out just yet.
So you settle for your new routine, of going out every now and then with the roommates that you were about to consider friends. Pondering if it’s worth it to join another club, just to feel like there's something else that makes you feel excited. Coming to the library, studying to keep your mind busy because your thoughts were never up to no good.
And it's so easy, being busy like you always managed to, with assignments, and volunteering and maintaining a perfect GPA.
It's also easy to ignore Jung Jaehyun’s existence. Because this time, unlike in boarding school, the task is much simpler, since classes are filled with so many people that on the ones you shared with him you barely get a glance of his eyes. Because he ran around in circles that had nothing to do with yours.
It was always clear to you, since youth, that Jaehyun was a social butterfly that just needed a little pushing, and he was nice enough that people always wanted him near. A high contrast to your quietness and introverted ways, staying in small circles and almost never allowing people to get too close.
It's weird thinking about him, putting a face to the name that was forever marked on your skin as a reminder of your future. It was weird thinking that it was easy to ignore this feeling too, like all the other ones that you have kept away in your small little box. The feelings that came out at least once a year when it all became too much, and you would sit in a duvet to spill all the dead butterflies inside your stomach out on the floor of a therapy clinic.
But even like this, weirdness doesn't begin to cover the way sometimes you catch yourself thinking of a memory that involves him, random and unexpected. A moment shared before the two of you discovered what expected you, before destiny was revealed. And you don't pretend that it's not real, that you don't feel the longing and need to be close, that your skin doesn't tingle when you see him around campus. You were long past pretending now, because there was no reason to play dumb when sometimes all you had were your own thoughts to rot your brain.
What you were good at, though, was concealing it all.
Was Jaehyun good at that too? Now that's something that you think about more than you would like. It didn't help that sometimes you would bump into him out of nowhere.
You enter the marketing aisle, eyes fixed on the small numbers taped to each section in hopes that the book you need was still here. It takes you awhile to realize that there's someone else with you, only moving your head up when you hear the footsteps approaching.  
“Hi.” Jaehyun says, a small smile on his lips that is as gentle as every other thing about his looks. He stands close, but not too much. A safe distance for you to run your eyes through his body one time, eyes stopping at the big ‘S’ on his sweatshirt.
You clear your throat before greeting him back. “Hello.” Your voice is low, thoughtful of your surroundings, but you match his smile in a silent agreement of politeness.
His eyes run through your face the same way yours does his. Curiosity, or maybe the longing feeling you try to not think about. The unspoken space in between the two of you is intact for now.  
He has changed so much in a year, is what you always think about when you two get to see each other up close. It always made you feel a weird nostalgia, seeing a face you had known for so long but now feels a little out of reach because of your own stubbornness. Your own fears.
“What book are you looking for?” He asks after some time, making small talk.
You turn your eyes to the books, him following. “Uhm, Kotler.”
“Oh, of course. How is marketing going?” You almost laugh at his attempt to make conversation, a skill well acquired during etiquette class.
“It’s okay. Not regretting it yet.” A half lie. Maybe another thing you were keeping locked deep down, your dislike for your major. But thinking about that while having a conversation with your soulmate was far from something you wanted to do.
He hums amused, eyes still fixed on the shelf. “That's good.”
You finally find the book, leaning down to get it and hugging it to your chest as your mind searches for something to offer for your own piece of ice breaker. Then you remember seeing his face last week printed on a glossy paper, an intricate article on consumerism tendencies online besides it.
“Congrats on the publication.” You say, facing him again. It’s genuine, because you knew how things like that really mattered. Small things that were nowhere near the accomplishments expected of the two of you, but still something to be proud of.
He laughs lowly, with bashful manners of looking down to his feet and with ears turning red. “It’s just a campus magazine.” Because of course he would be humble, amongst all the other qualities you were well acquainted with. Deep down you know that it's just a reflection of the high expectations that have been set the moment he was born.
“Still, it was very well written. And everyone said it was impressive for a freshman.” Everyone being the friend that showed you the magazine, but you'll pretend for him that it was something more. To try and erase the feeling of not deserving something that probably runs through his mind.
You would crush it beneath your boots if you could, it's the weird thought that runs through yours.
He huffs. “Well, it’s Stanford. Hard to know what's gonna be impressive and what is just expected of you.”
“Good thing we are all promising young adults that don't need their egos to be fed, right?” You joke back and it makes him laugh a little too loudly, quickly stopping himself as you two exchange awkward but familiar glances with tiny smiles on your lips.
A moment of silence settles next, one that lasts only long enough for you to shift the weight from one leg to another. Then he's asking. “Are you… Are you doing something this weekend?”
“I’m expected at a company party.” You reply flatly, blinking twice but not really pondering the reasons for his curiosity. You two stare at each other for a second that passes quickly.
“The HSBC event?” He asks and you nod, expecting the words he says next. “Oh, I'll attend it as well.”
“Boring, huh?” An attempt to continue a conversation that should've ended by now.
“Yeah.” He looks at you, and then away, and then back at you. “I was thinking that we could have din-“
Footsteps interrupt his words and you look behind your shoulder to see who the newcomer is. A tall man, taller than Jaehyun even, smiles at you guiltily before he’s looking at Jaehyun and raising his brows. “We are late, dude.” He deadpans as you look between the two of them.
“Shit, I didn’t realize.” Jaehyun says in a groan, bringing his big watch to his face,  and you have to contain a smile at the curse. Then he turns to you. “Sorry, I gotta go.”
“It’s fine.” You mumble, the book still held tight against your chest.
He waves awkwardly as the other man throws you another smile. You watch them leave with trembling fingers.
DECEMBER 2017
December always made you feel a little weird. Blame it on the cold and the days spent in bed trying to get the warmth you craved. Or on the impending approach of winter break and having to deal with your parents and your obligations for the month to follow.
But you try not to think about that just yet, when the time comes you'll deal with it. That's what you always do. For now you let your bed swallow you as you scroll down mindless through your instagram feed, double tapping publications of past boarding school acquaintances smiling with the Harvard location attached to each picture, just like the brand names are attached to their clothes. It's a little pathetic to you that your own account looks the same, with pictures carefully picked with a marketing tactic in mind.
Your little distraction is interrupted when the door to your room opens and your roommate, Ela, walks in, clearly shivering from the cold even underneath her thick dark grey coat. “God, it's fucking freezing outside.” She mumbles as a greeting, removing her boots and setting it close to the door before draping her coat on her chair.
“How was the meeting?” You ask from under your blankets, laughing a little as she drops her things on her own bed. The question makes her sigh loudly.
“That dude is still an asshole.” The dude in question being her partner to a never ending project of rebranding that sometimes stressed even you, from how much she talked about it. “But we are almost done with it now.”
“That's good.”
She plops on her bed, across from yours and a comfortable silence settles for a moment as she probably tries to have a moment of calmness.
Ela was an old face on your life, having attended the same school but never really getting closer than knowing each other's name. Still, it was good that you got paired to dorm with her. A familiar face that became a friend of sorts, as the two of you built a relationship on things in common and the want to have someone you could trust in a new place. And she was different than you, more outgoing, had a liking for socializing that you could never match, but still understood you.
“Hey, did you finish that essay already?” She asks, turning her face to you.
“Yes, it was bitch to write.”
“And Kotler is super boring to read.” A sigh escapes her lips and you agree loudly because she's right. Sometimes, when you allowed yourself a moment of wishful thinking, you would wonder what it would be like to have a major that you didn't feel like your brain was melting from boredom when reading about.
“I'm really tired.” You reply, just to say something back.
“Same. Are you doing something for winter break?”
In your mind you know exactly what you'll be doing, a schedule even ready on your mind, but  instead you say “Not really, are you?”
She hums, voice tired but still excited as she goes on about how she wants to go to Europe again, visit Amsterdam because that was one of her favorite travel destinations. When you ask how it was, she describes in perfect detail, how the streets looked and how it felt very welcoming, telling you that you absolutely had to go there someday.
You promise to go and in the back of your mind you wish you could. Maybe you can if you can do more week hours on your internship and ask for a free week.
You shake your head at that though.
“Oh, I got this little get together today. At that bar downtown.. .Do you want to go?” You know she’s asking out of politeness, not because she didn't want you there but because you rarely said yes to her invitations.
But there’s a tiny spark on your chest, one that resembles the restless feeling you would get when you stayed too long laying down. It's not a motivation as much as it is boredom and the wish to feel something other than half emptiness. Other than the want to escape.
“Ok.” You say, shrugging slightly.
“Really?”
The raise of her brow makes you laugh. “Yeah, we are getting home next week. That's the last time I get to do this for a while.”
The bar is a little crowded, with winter break approaching and no one really daring step outside for a smoke because of how cold it is. The owners took great advantage of that by offering a ‘buy two get one free’ deal, that if you take a closer look at is really just a scam considering the price. But it's enough to fool college students that are excited about being away from this place for a while.
That’s what you think about after you down the remnants of the third drink you and your roommate shared. It’s not that kind of night, of getting wasted and not remembering anything the next day. It’s more of a little get together, for your roommate's club members and you are here merely as an intruder.
You feel just a little tipsy as you listen to her friends talk, some of them you knew from afar and some were just strangers that were nice enough to make you laugh every now and then. Still, you feel detached from the conversation, smiling and nodding when needing but not really taking part.
“What about you, ___?” A girl with round cheeks and pretty eyes asks you regarding your vacation plans. “You gotta invite us if you are throwing a party.”
You scoff before you can catch yourself. Alcohol always drops your inhibitions a little, but still you are quick to cover it up. You laugh along with the others, promising to invite everyone even though you are not throwing any parties, most likely never.
You roommate looks at you from the corner of her eye, smiling sympathetically because she knows you, and knows how stupid her friends are, but it's fine. You just wish you could just take it easily, the interest, the wanting to get close so they too will appear in a gossip magazine and live the life they think you do, without wanting to tell them to get a fucking life already, because this is just pathetic.
You smile back at her, wishing for another drink as your thigh highs start to roll a little uncomfortably. Shifting from leg to leg does nothing to help it, so you try to push the little annoyance to the back of your mind.
The small groups divide in different topics over the time, and you find yourself talking to some guy you had never seen before, that goes on and on about his amazing business ideas and how successful it's going to be when he finds the right stakeholders. You nod and try to focus through the whole thing.
The rest of the night goes like that. Fake laughter, loud music and conversation that gets more boring as the clock ticks, so you find an escape excusing yourself to go to the bathroom, not because you need to but to get away for a second.
In retrospect maybe it would've been better to endure another discussion about LA clubs and entrepreneurship.
The bar is so crowded that you have to excuse yourself at least five times, and on the sixth one you end up bumping into someone.
“Oh.” Is the clever thing you say when your eyes are met with Jaehyun already looking at you, his eyes lower than usual from probably taking advantage of the drink deal like you had.
He looks relaxed, hair parted in a way that shows his forehead and an all black outfit that doesn’t look as expensive as it probably is, but he makes it work so well that you do a double look while in your hazy state. If he notices, he doesn’t show it by the way he keeps his smile unfazed at you.
“We gotta stop seeing each other by accident,” he says, laughing a little.
“Yeah.” His words take a little to digest so you keep looking at him for a beat of a second. It’s a first, seeing him in a place like this. Where you can see just how well he really can adjust to any setting. He fits right in with the low lights and the relaxed atmosphere.
“This is Johnny.” He gestures for the guy besides him, who turns his attention to you and smiles in a way that’s a little familiar. Then you realize he’s the guy from the library over a year ago, and the friend Jaehyun posted pictures every now and then on his instagram page.
“Hey, It’s nice to meet you.” Johnny says, same smile from before still on and you return it. “Have heard a lot about you.”
That makes you laugh, a mixture of confusion and excitement and politeness that confuses even yourself. “Good things I hope.”
He tilts his head playfully. “Only the best things you can hear in place like this.”
The three of you share smiles, the interaction then turning into a conversation promoted by a question you ask, both from wanting to have something to say and out of curiosity. Johnny does most of the talking, explaining how he and Jaehyun had been friends for a while but only got closer now that they are attending the same university. They share a story of something that happened, them buying each other the same thing for christmas and you listen to the whole thing entranced.
It’s weird in some way how you can learn so much from your own soulmate from someone else. And it's weird how you react with joy, perhaps, to the teasing Johnny does to Jaehyun so naturally.
When the conversation settles down, Johnny looks between the two of you for a few seconds before he’s excusing himself to find an unnamed person. It was predictable he would do that, with the way he kept aiming the conversation to make it about Jaehyun, as if he somehow had to wing his friend to you.
You stare at your shoes, unsure of what to say now and maybe too worn out from the whole night to come up with something to talk about. But you don’t have to, because soon he’s asking  “Are you here alone?”
You look up, a tiny smile on your lips. “No, I came with my roommate. But she's with her friends.”
“Oh, I’ll keep you company then.” He offers and you nod, following him to the bar where it's more illuminated and you can both lean a little on the counter.
Jaehyun is good at making people feel comfortable, you had noticed that many times before and it's no surprise when he asks you about your roommate, about what songs you have been listening to lately. He tries to keep a conversation with ease, even if it stays in the usual surface you two are used to.
If you weren't so distracted by everything, your mind would probably offer that it feels a lot like when you were kids and standing in the corner of a ballroom in uncomfortable clothes, talking about things that didn't matter.
“Have you ever been to Amsterdam?” You ask him suddenly when the past topic dies down.
“Yeah, it's really nice there.”
You hum, remembering your roommate's words. “That’s cool, I really want to go there someday.”
Out of nowhere he starts laughing a little, as if you had said something funny. When you inquire about it, he shakes his head clearly amused by the way his eyes squint a little from his smile. “It's just… Don’t you think it's weird that we have known each other for all these years, and all we do is do this weird small talk?”
You laugh too, speaking before you can stop yourself. “And still for some reason I feel like I know you.”
His eyebrows raise for a second but his smile is unfaltering, your statement not bothering him.  “You know me.” He says, as a matter of fact. “And I know you.”
Now this makes you freeze, blinking slowly but it doesn't last long until you are covering your surprise by chuckling. Your eyes meet his and it strikes you that it's true, you know him and he knows you. Not everything, but what would be the fun in that.
Maybe that's why the two of you kept doing this small talk, to get to know each other better even in the smallest things. That's what getting to know someone is, after all. Not the business interviews and networking you grew up with.
You shake your thoughts away, leaning on the counter with one elbow and then resting your face on your palm. “What is your favorite thing about me then?” It's what you ask, in a playful tone to keep the conversation going. Or because you actually want to know, out of curiosity or vanity.
He chuckles, bringing his hand to his face as if in deep thought, before he replies. “I like that you are smart.”
The simplicity of it makes you snort. “Please, that's a cliche thing to say in a place like this.” You say, mimicking the words his friend had said to you earlier. “What does that even mean?”
“I don't know.” He shrugs while laughing, “Johnny just says things like that sometimes.”
You nod then, making an amused sound while you turn on the counter to stare forward. Your roommate is on the opposite side of yours, leaning against a wall while talking to a girl taller than her but just as pretty. The view makes a tiny smile settle on your lips, the beginning of a spark on your chest.
It always amazed you how people who didn't know their soulmate yet continued to live on, simply letting the universe do its thing naturally. In your young mind you had always thought that love was supposed to be a yearning that you couldn't control, that you would have to be with the person you love no matter what, and do anything to find them. That had changed now.
You turn to Jaehyun again. “What would you say is your favorite thing about me then, if we didn't know each other already?” You ask. It's a weird question because it makes him raise one eyebrow at you, but there's still not a trace of annoyance on his face.
“Isn't that also cliche to say?” He huffs. “That you are the prettiest girl I have ever seen?”
You can't help the embarrassed laugh that leaves your parted lips in shock. “Are you flirting with me?”
His ear gets an incredible red shade and you find it extremely charming. “It's just the truth.” He defends himself and it only makes you giggle more.
You thank him, tell him that you think he’s pretty too and correct it to handsome when he raises one eyebrow again. It makes a nice atmosphere settle and you feel comfortable enough to ask “So... if we didn't know each other you would flirt with me at a random party? Buy me a drink and all that?”
He smiles, dimples showing while he brushes his hair back. It's not the first time, of course, but you find yourself a little in awe at how pretty he actually is. Pretty in a way that makes you feel a little out of it, stunned by the way his lips start forming his next words.  
“What do you like to drink?” He asks casually.
Now it's your turn to raise one eyebrow. “Hmm, I like Moscow Mules.”
You watch as he turns to the bar, calling the waiter over and ordering two drinks of your said preference. The mixture of feelings on your chest make you feel drunker than you did before and you wish you could put a name to it. Excitement, amusement, whatever it is only increases when he looks at you again.
“I’m Jung Jaehyun, by the way.” He offers, smiling sweetly and you match it when you realize what he's playing at
“I’m _____. It's nice to meet you.”
Playing pretend with him is easy, even more when the drinks make your inhibitions fall completely. Jaehyun tells a joke and you lean forward a little. Then you talk about something and he comes closer as if to hear better. Another drink and plenty of silly conversation later, he's completely invading your space in a way that you don't feel slightly bothered by.  
Not even when leans to whisper in your ear. “Do you want to get out of here?”
You leave the bar giggling like the two mildly drunk people you are, basking in the joy of it and of the little fantasy you two have created. Jaehyun keeps you close, your hands linked and it's such a nice feeling that you get even more overwhelmed in a good way. The two of you walk almost glued to each other basically skipping and muttering playfully things just to say something.
When you are near the dorm complex, he stops abruptly and when you turn to him, his hands find your cheeks and his eyes search yours for a brief moment before he’s bringing your face closer to his.
It's a sweet kiss, contrary to what you thought it would be when you allowed yourself to think about this. You had always imagined desperation, not being able to endure not doing it anymore. But the reality is that Jaehyun kisses you with delicacy and  even if there is desperation to it, it's not in a way that overpowers anything else. But in a way that makes you moan lowly, makes you press him even closer by grabbing his shirt as he moves his lips slowly against yours.
There are no fireworks, no deep realization that you are kissing the person you are meant to be with for the rest of your life. But it's good, makes you want more, makes you want to bring him closer than possible, and maybe that's proof enough.
You reach his dorm in a blink after that, him having a bit of a hard time opening the door but when he does it takes no time for you to be pressed to it.
For a moment he just looks at you, eyes hazy and shining. They run through your face the same way yours does his, with longing that is finally allowed. You try to quiet the way your heart beats by leaning forward and kissing him.
The kiss is hungry but never too fast, with his hands moving to your hips and you pulling on his lips. When you moan a little at the feel, he opens his mouth a little, sliding his tongue against yours and you swear at yourself for waiting so long. Swear that you will never get enough of this.
Your lips move together in a way that is proof enough to you that this is something else even in your drunk state. His lips are soft, tongue moving with yours as if he wants to take his time and when your hands move from his shoulders to his neck he  shudders, parting from you with a wet sound.
“W-We should...” He murmurs against your lip and you nod before he even finishes, letting him lead you to his bed. It feels a lot like yours, and the rest of the room is just as familiar but you pay no attention to that when he lays you on it gently.
It’s no surprise that Jaehyun is a giving lover and you figure that out when he kisses you like he wants to find out exactly what you like. Exactly how to make you fall apart in his hands.
He does everything with an expertise that maybe should make you feel jealous, but out of all things you are, a hypocrite is not one of them. So he shows you what he has learn from other people, and you show him what you have
And he doesn't settle for anything less than kissing all over your body after the two of you get undressed. For less than telling you in whispered words that he has dreamed about this before so many times and immediately swallowing with his tongue the words you would never be able to let out.
That you had dreamed about this too.  Dreamed about coming on his tongue as he eats you out, your hands grabbing at his hair and seeing stars. A giving lover, of the best kind,  Even more when he asks, with his mouth shining with your arousal. “How do you want it?”
You blink as your mind spins with the endless possibilities, but the ultimate realization that you would have him any way.  You decide on the one that gives you more control. “I… I want to ride you.”
He bites his lips, ears burning red again. “Yeah,” His words come out mumbles as he just looks at you for a second before moving to lay on his back. “Yeah, ok. Fuck.”
You straddle his hips after he rolls down the condom, his eyes looking up at you in what you think is adoration, pure desire. And then you kiss him again, all tongue but still slow. So deep that you think you’ll never forget what he tastes like.
He lets you sink down at your own pace, palms on your ass when you move slowly, feeling him stretch you with every inch you sit on. He hums, hands tracing your skin delicately and it only makes it so much worse.
You move, a grind at first testing the water and immediately crying out lowly from the friction and you look for support with nails grabbing at his chest. He doesn't seem to mind.
“Good?” A stupid question to ask with the way you are so wet around him that the room is filled with a squelching sound when you move up and down with all the patience in the world.
Still, you nod. “You feel - Fuck - really good.”
He looks down at where you’re connected, biting his lips to suppress the noises you want him to let out so you move your hips with purpose, eyes roaming his face to watch it contort in pleasure as he lets out the prettiest moan you have ever heard. Low and deep.
His hands move further down then, gripping your hips and moving you in a grind that feels too good. So good that you have to drop your arms to his chest for leverage as he moves you to his liking, pushing your hips back and forth.
You come with your back arching, long moan of his name as your entire body shakes and tingles and you have to grip at the sheets beside you for support. You try to keep moving as your orgasm washes over you but its too much and your walls clenching around his cock  makes him grip your ass even tighter, the action sending a thrill down your body as you fall forward on his chest with a wail.
Your mind swims in the gooey feeling of pleasure and all you can think about is him. Jaehyun, Jaehyun, Jaehyun.
He waits for a second, hand moving to your back as your body trembles, drawing calming circles on it. When you have calmed down, he plants his feet on the bed and starts moving his hips up slowly and patiently but with deep strokes that make you bite your lip with oversensitivity.
And when you can, you move your head up, balancing yourself on your arms and looking at him. He wastes no time in kissing you, not deep because he parts his lips in a groan during a particular stroke, speeding his movements and grunting when you try to meet them back.
It’s when he has had enough, that he pulls out only to turn you on your back so he can enter you more easily, his hips now meeting yours in a pace that tells you that he’s close.
“Jae, oh… oh my god.” You sigh dreamily yet broken enough that it makes him smile when a sharp thrust makes your hips raise a little. He looks proud of being able to get you like this.
He hums as if agreeing with a very thorough statement, moving his arms so he can press his chest to yours as he fucks into you with calculated thrusts . You can barely move with his weight on top of you, with how he seems to lock you in place with his hips and it’s enough for another broken sob to fall from your lips.
“Deep?” He asks in a groan and with a nice slide of his cock inside of you to punctuate the question. You nod frantically because he’s as deep as he can get, knows this very well, and the feeling is something that makes you flutter around him in the desperate need to come.
He kisses your cheek then, two sweet but filthy enough with his heavy exhales against it. His pace never gets too fast, just hinting at it but he maintains a speed that leaves you in the brink of another orgasm. But, you only reach it when he pinches your clit with his fingers, circling it until your lips part in a silent scream and you’re coming again, stars behind your eyelids.
And the sounds he makes when your walls squeeze just a little more than he can handle are something else. A deep groan and a pained little sob that you find extremely endearing and hot at the same time, his face contorting as he quickened his pace just enough to push him over the edge, finally releasing inside the condom.    
He pulls out, breath heavy as he smiles at you falling putty on the bed and watching as he removes the condom and disposes it only to come quickly to the bed quickly.
He hovers over you, kissing you sweetly. Your arms find his shoulders easily as the two of you bask in the afterglow of it.
Then he kisses you again, tongues dancing together and you don’t mind when his hand starts to wander again, sending goosebumps to your body. His fingers find your clit with ease, circling it slowly before applying more pressure as your lips part and your hand grip his arm, for support and not to cut the actions.
You come again, not as strong as your first one but still enough to have you shaking a little and screaming silently. His finger stays at your clit, hovering until he asks again in a whisper. “Another?”
You nod, and he resumes his actions slowly, until you are seeing starts and he swallows your moans with kisses and stops your trembling with soft hands grounding you.
When you recover your breath, an incredulous laughter leaves your lips. “You’re insane.” He just smiles, nose brushing against yours.  “God, I...I gotta clean up now.”
He moves to get up. “Yeah sure, I’ll show you the bathroom.”
You end up cleaning together, a shower that doesn't take you long, even if it's hard to keep your hands to yourselves but you are both tired, feeling a little drained after the glow has gone away.
Afterwards, you are laying on his bed side by side, surrounded by the smell of his body wash and wearing the big t-shirt and sweatpants he offered you.
Your mind starts wandering lazily with the remnants of your high, that's why the words escape your mouth without much thought. “Isn't it weird that even if we have someone in the world meant for us we can still feel lonely?” You are not lonely right now, not really. Maybe it's just the sadness of winter speaking, or maybe you're still a little drunk.
He takes a second to reply, voice low when he does. “Yeah. But you don't have to.” He says.“ Feel lonely, I mean. You don't have to.”
It's a little funny how he feels the need to explain himself to you, as if you don't quite understand him when the reality it's both very far from that and exactly it at the same time.
“I don't think thats how it works. It's not up to me.” If it was, wouldn't you have stopped being lonely by now? Wouldn't you have finally succumbed to the desperate need of wanting someone, something, when late night hit and the mark in your arm would burn just as your eyes as you fought back tears?
Still, he says simply. “I think it is.”
You smile sadly then, turning to him a little and watching as he kept his gaze on the ceiling. He looked relaxed, as if this setting was soothing his mind and it makes a familiar feeling blossom on your chest.  “What did you feel when the mark showed up on your arm?” A question that you had wanted to ask the moment you found out it was him, but instead had failed miserably to guess the answer to.
“Relief.” He says without thinking, a truthful and genuine reply.
“That you wouldn't have to end up marrying someone that wasn't your soulmate?” You ask. All these years you had thought that this must've been it, what you felt that day.
“No. I was relieved that it was you anyway.” Is his reply, body turning and eyes meeting yours. For a second you’re frozen, blinking because it’s strange to have someone put their feelings out so easily.
“Is… Is that what love is, then?” You ask softly. “Relief that you have at least one person that makes you feel held?”
Maybe this is not really what he meant,  and more so wishful thinking of your part than anything else, but still he nods.
“I think it’s that. And other things.” His voice is soft when he says this. “I'm not sure what it is, but I want to find out.”
You can’t help as you examine his face after his confession. Is this what being soulmates is, then? Having someone that it's worth taking the risk of finding out? Or maybe it’s having someone that will show you exactly what it is.
Does all that explain the way you can't look away from him?
“Me neither.” You reply in the same quiet voice because it’s true. You tend to act like you know everything, and that you know what love is. You know love it’s pathetic and that it gets in the way of things, but is it really that bad? So you ask “Is it bad that I think you'll only love me because the mark on your arm tells you to?”
He laughs briefly. “No, it makes sense.” His eyes find yours again. “But you know it’s not, don't you?”
“I do.” At least you do now.
Maybe that's why you fall asleep so easily
2014 (flashback)
It’s the last day before summer break and Jaehyun is tired.
The other four guys he shared a room with are all packing their things for a nice vacation somewhere in Europe or one of the paradisiac beaches they all like to talk about. Jaehyun just wants to get home, not think about college applications for two months and maybe go somewhere he can be alone for a while.
“Sooyoung is kinda hot, huh?”  Yugyeom says out of nowhere and the room settles in a unison hum of agreement. He joins in too.
There’s a loud creak noise as another one of his roommates slumps into the bed but he doesn't bother checking who it is, mind somewhere else as he stares at the ceiling.
“True. But I would die if Ela gave me her number.” Jungkook sighs dreamily and Jaehyun can't help the snort that escapes his lips. Just yesterday they had a conversation exactly like this one, but not quite as innocent. Trust a group of men that have no idea who their roommates are to act like this.
Even though Doyoung, the only one of them that already knew, still acted the same when it came to this. His soulmate isn't someone he knew already, so what was the point in waiting. That's why he asks the next question. “Jaehyun, you know ___, right? Does she stick to the whole ‘waiting’ thing?”
Jaehyun blinks, shifts almost unnoticeable. “I don't know her like that.” Is what he says, which is a half true. He knows her, probably things no one else knows but that’s what happens when you grow up in the same circles, he guesses. Right now though, he feels like he doesn’t know her anymore, not with the distance she had put between them after the wedding was announced by your parents.
Then, he starts thinking about himself. Is he waiting for his soulmate? He has kissed some girls, but it never went beyond that. But now he remembers coming home from german class one day and his mother making soft cake as she told him about the name that would appear on his wrist.
He remembers that he had said loudly that he wished ____ would be his name, because then they could be better friends for some reason as silly as playing around together.
Sicheng interrupts his thoughts by snorting loudly. “Are you really trying to hit?” He asks Doyoung. “Gonna end up in the cover of a magazine for trying to corrupt the nation’s good girl.”
The room erupts in laughter and comments after that. He drowns it with his mind going somewhere else.
That night he dreams about her.
10, FEBRUARY 2018
Winter break goes by quickly with one too many end of the year celebration and wishing people you had never seen before a happy new year.
You spend your days fulfilling your internship at the company you would one day own, following around the superiors for the Marketing team and playing nice when they try to flatter you.
So busy that you can barely think about it, but you still do. You think about him so often that you think you have lost your mind.  And you see Jung Jaehyun too, here and there at parties, between whiskey glasses, tuxedos and unspoken words. Because, as you always thought, keeping it all unsaid is easier. At least for now.
Perhaps he knows it all, in a different way than you. So the two of you kept it lowkey, for the duration of those two months that are now gone with the wind. Two months of not a single magazine spread on your escapades, or you parents mentioning anything that is out of the ordinary.
It's as if the two of you have a secret, that some may assume, but still don't know for sure. What you and Jaehyun did that night is kept inside a locked box, one that you share with him and that every moment until now seems to fit in. What you don't know is if he too keeps the box as sacred as you do.
What you don't know is if the thought of it being opened by prying eyes scares him too.
Being back to campus is, ironically, a breath of fresh air. No more business meetings disguised as family celebrations, or stupid networking, or smiling for a camera to say that the company has never been better. No more internship and lack of time for something else.
February comes and it's just you, your dorm bed and the roommate you will miss when it's time. Just the lectures and keeping busy and trying not to think about things only to fail miserably.
But then, there are the phone calls, never ending and always the same. Or almost always.
The phone lights up, stupid ringtone, and your heart starts beating a little faster. How could someone ever guess what a phone call is about?  Not having control made you antsy.
Your mother greets you as always, stern words, asking how you have been out of politeness. You spend the entire phone call waiting for her to just say what she wants to already.
She mentions being busy, good opportunities, of an article you should read and something that sounds like a threat if you let yourself slip and get a scandal, even though she has said all this not long ago after gifting you another piece of jewelry you’ll keep stored deep in your drawer.
At least this time it doesn't take long for her to finally say what she wants. “Jaehyun’s birthday is soon. Don't forget to greet him.”
“I won't.” You reply simply but she’s quick to cut you off.
“Publicly. Maybe sending flowers would be good, or buying something that can get attention from the press.” It’s obvious this is not about you and your soulmate, it’s about you and your future. As everything is.
“Ok.”
“Just because he's your soulmate doesn't mean people will connect you two together forever.” She continues, never knowing when to stop. “You have to remind them of that.”
“I know that.” Because you do. There was no guarantee that your marriage with Jaehyun would be good publicity if the two of you weren’t liked or even popular.
You fear that when the time comes, people will realize something you yourself already has. That maybe you don’t really deserve Jaehyun, not because he’s better than you, but because you are not sure you can give him the love he deserves.
What you don't know clearly yet, is that you’re selfish and want him anyway.
“Good.” Your mother says and then the line cuts.
One time a therapist told you that maybe your mother was jealous. Because you would get to experience something she didn't, being with your soulmate, and that it was normal. It didn't mean she was evil and hated you. Another one said that that was the reason she was so stern, she wanted to keep you in line to prevent you from failure so as to not hurt you. That, behind the lack of affection, was a wish for your happiness.
Maybe there will be a time you understand that plenty. Maybe some things can never be truly fixed, only forgotten.
Four days days after that, you text Jaehyun a simple happy birthday with a heart at the end of it. You also get a chocolate cake sent to his place from a bakery you like, and when he calls to thank you, you tell him to not post it anywhere.
He laughs and tells you that it's a good idea.
2007 (flashback)
It was another late afternoon party, for another thing that you couldn’t remember or care about because things like this shouldn't really matter when you are only ten years old. Still, you had watched the other kids play with each other as their parents talked business and laughed, drunk from the bubbly drinks they downed glass after glass of.
For a moment you felt like reaching out and playing with them too, but it died soon and you stayed unmoving on the chair you had been placed in, while your parents did the same as the others somewhere in the distance.
It had been a pretty day, you remember, the sun was about to set and it made the shiny fabric on the tablecloths that were spread around the individual tables set outside, sparkle just the tiniest bit. You played with it to have something to distract yourself with.
You remember too, that Jung Jaehyun and his family were at the table right in front of yours, your parents greeting each other and talking briefly. Later on the party you had watched as he listened to something his mother said to him. She was beautiful, like your own mother, and you had heard her voice before so it had been easy to imagine in what tone she was speaking. Soft and low, how warmth felt like. As to the content of her words you would never know, but it had clearly been something nice because it made her son laugh as she patted his head.
You didn’t know back then that this moment would stick with you for the years to come, for a reason that at ten years old you were just beginning to understand. But still, the weird twist in your stomach, as you started to realize that something was wrong, would be felt many more times. As you realized that your family dynamics were not as warm as the others appeared to be.
25, FEBRUARY 2018
What you and Jaehyun have turns into something hard to describe.
The line you had so clearly put between the two of you, to avoid your future, had been replaced now by acceptance and the weird feeling of navigating a relationship that It’s still a new thing, but it’s also nice enough. Especially when he sends you a silly text and jokes about something, later on commenting the same thing on one of your instagram posts. It makes you feel giddy, that you have a shared secret.
Even more when he gives you a small knowing smile across the table while your father is non stop talking about the new model the company is about to release.
It’s a small dinner to celebrate Jaehyun’s birthday, or at least as small it can be in a restaurant like this, where the waiter will look you up and down if you are not wearing your prettiest silk dress and stiletto heels.
The whole thing had been rescheduled twice, because of busy schedules and whatnot, and now that both your parents had been able to fly here, you all sit underneath lowlights and drink expensive wine that is accompanied by a conversation that is so boring that you have trouble keeping up with it.
He finds you on the rooftop, hair blowing a little as he walks to you and in the back of your mind you think it’s a crime that he looks this good in a suit. That’s probably all the wine you had talking.
“Sorry I left you alone there.” You mutter with a sympathetic smile thrown his way when he reaches you, but you both know you are not sorry at all for escaping the stupid conversation your parents were having.
He chuckles. “You leaving was just a reason for me to escape too.”
The two of you turn to look at the city, the illuminated buildings looking minuscule from here but the tiny lights from each of them make for a breathtaking view. Jaehyun stands so close to you that your arms touch. You don’t mind.
“Looking at the city like that makes me feel really small.” You whisper, without really thinking.
“That’s because we are.” You hear his voice clearly, warm like honey and you don’t try to help the smile that forms in your lips.
“How do you do it?” The question makes him look at you, raising one eyebrow. “I mean, you always sound like you got it all figured out. While I just say the most random stuff because I don’t know who I am.”
You know you are the heritage left to you, the face of your father's company, a good student, smart. One of the few socialites that have never stepped a foot out of line, according to the magazines. But take all that and what’s left?
“I don't.” He says simply, “I’m just good at pretending, like you are.”
That makes you laugh. “Good to know we are both good at playing our roles.” You say, as a joke, because you are sure the two of you are beyond the acting now.
And It’s always funny to you how the masks the both of you put on fall completely when you are alone. That’s what it means to be friends, you had realized, and that’s what you decide to call your relationship for now. Friends, from a long time, that happened to be tied together for other reasons.
And Jaehyun is a friend that sometimes makes you feel like you deserve the love you crave.
“Hey. You are ____.” He says after a second, for good measure. “That's enough, you don't have to be anything else.”
“Is it enough for you?” You ask without really thinking.
He smiles, dimples showing and your heart grows warmer. “Yeah, and we can figure it out together. Who we are and all that.”
You share a smile, both staring forward at the view and shivering a little from the night wind.
“I’m sorry for getting you into these deep conversations.”
He laughs deeply at that, with his whole body. “It’s good, don’t worry. I want you to trust me, even if you won't let me get to know you.” And you do, you want to desperately trust him and let him in. ”Because you are scared I can't handle your daddy issues or something.”
A scoff mixed with laughter leaves your lips. It’s been a long time since you were able to joke about this with someone. “It’s mommy issues, please get it right.”
He turns to you with a silly smile on his lips. “Is it because she made you take those piano classes?” He jokes and you laugh before tilting your head.
“Wait, how did you know I played the piano?” That was ages ago, finally a hobby that you enjoyed amongst the numerous other classes your mother had enrolled you in. You played it for a long time before you stopped completely for whatever reason.
“You told me, when we had to introduce ourselves and talk about things we liked in german class.” He explains. “You said you liked it, even though your mother forced you to go.”
You turn to him now as it strikes you that Jung Jaehyun remembered you from his childhood the same way you remembered him. Not the same things, but still memories. The thought is so comforting that you can’t hold the way your cheeks move up in a smile.
“What about you?” You question. “What things did you say you liked?”
“Hmm, I don't really remember.” Is what he says with a shrug.
You two share a look, perhaps meaningful but maybe that's the wine making you feel on cloud 9 under his gaze.  “What do you like now?”
He chuckles as if your interest is amusing. “I like… music, getting coffee with friends. That kind of thing.”
“Not cars?” You joke, making him laugh. You decide then that you like making him do it.
“I mean, a little.” He replies playfully, and it’s very easy to be comfortable like this.
It’s good to know after all this time Jaehyun was like you, even if you felt alone in the world sometimes. That’s what a soulmate must be after all, not the missing piece to make you whole but someone that makes you realize exactly that you don't have to be.
“We should get coffee together sometime.” You offer after some time, a gentle smile being shared between you two in laziness, at the thought of soon having to return to the restaurant and popping out of the bubble you have started creating for yourself.
“We should.” He says, and the bubble stays afloat a little longer.
JULY 2019
It’s another charity Gala, with sparkly lights, champagne, fake smiles and a dress too tight. Everything is the way it always had been, except for you.
And Jaehyun, whose hand stays on your waist as he guides you through a slow song. He had wanted to dance, said he always thought it was nice when lovers did it in movies.
Lovers. The mere use of the word had made your heart somersault in your chest, but you kept it down. Instead, you move with him with soft smiles adorning both of your faces.
Your hand finds his cheeks. Nothing could describe the look you give him in the light but pure admiration. And you don’t care if anyone sees it,  you don’t care if it ends up in a magazine spread. Because even if everybody knew about it, this is yours.
The way he brings his hand on top of yours, and how his eyes match the exact look on yours. Every little detail about it makes you know that this right here belongs to the two of you and nothing can change it.
“Jaehyun?” Your voice is low, almost inaudible underneath the music and conversation echoing through the ballroom. “I don't want to be here anymore.”
His eyebrows raise at your confession, steps faltering for a second as he loses the rhythm “What? We can leave right now if you want.” He offers. “I came with my own car, so we can-“
Your soft laughter interrupts his words. “No, I don't mean right now.” You explain, swallowing around your next words. “I meant.. I don't want to keep playing a role, I want to go somewhere with you where no one knows us.”
A smile grows on his lips, one that tells you that he understands exactly what you mean. And you don’t have to guess anymore, there are no more maybes. You know.
“Okay, we can do that.”
He pulls you closer, dance now long forgotten as you just move in complete muscle memory.
“I want to find out.” You confess in a whisper. A secret between the two of you that no one else would ever know.  “I want to go somewhere with you and find out.”
You wonder if he already found the answer to it, to what love is. But you also don't need to know right now, because you will know when you have to. Either way you want to find out  and it's not for you to guess.
He smiles genuinely at you, with his dimples showing, like he always smiles at you.
You smile back, heart aching from something that can only be only be explained by years of shared stories, and in your mind, deeper connections that go beyond what everything and everyone inside this ballroom would understand.
You smile back, in the exact way you have always smiled at him.
APRIL 2020
A ray of sun peeks from the half closed curtains and set right above your eyes, getting you to wake up lazily and slowly. It takes you a while to come to it, the sheets on the bed just now starting to feel truly familiar with the warmth left on the bed, from someone that had probably gotten up just a little before from you.
You blink once and twice before your eyes are completely open, vision still unfocused but it slowly comes back as you stare at the bedside table. A lip balm is the first thing you see, then your phone and lastly a picture framed of you and Jaehyun hugging in front of the sunflower field at the Van Gogh museum. He’s laughing, at something said by the kind fellow tourist that had offered to take your picture, and you have the beginning of a smile on your own lips. One that you mimic perfectly now as you remember that day.
Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the door opening and Jaehyun walks in the bedroom, holding a bowl. His eyes are still drowsy and his hair a mess but you  think he looks right at home. Because he is.
“Morning, baby.” His voice is low and raspy, but enough to make you melt even more on the sheets.
“Good morning.” The smile settles fully on your lips now.
He sits on the bed next to you then, almost drowning inside his large t-shirt and hair plopping cutely when he tries moving even closer to place the bowl with sliced fruits on your lap. “We gotta add apples to the shopping list.” Is all he says and you nod while picking a slice of melon and chewing it leisurely as you bask on the hazy feeling of still being half asleep
Jaehyun stays by your side, head weirdly pressed to your chest, and asking silently for you to feed him apple slices every now and then with just his mouth opening.
Your mind wanders as you eat and then you’re having one of those moments where realization dawns on you finally. A silly small thing that makes you smile and your chest grow warm. “Jaehyun?” You call out softly, fighting back the bubble of happiness that forms on your chest because old habits are hard to die.
“Hmm?” He looks up at you, eyes blinking at you in the same way he always does, but this time it makes you want to cry a little bit.
You lean down, press a quick peck to his lips that make you both smile and then the words are out of your mouth.
“This is what love is.”
1K notes · View notes
mrfeenysmustache · 3 years ago
Note
#5 and SessKag 😬
HELL YEAH SESSKAG. Also hello best friend 🥲 you’ll be seeing this when you wake up so good morning 🥲
This one ended up a wee bit longer than the others lol
“Home stopped being a place when you entered my life”
#5 on the fluff prompt list
She’d met him at a party.
A Christmas party.
He stood stiff and awkward in the corner, a head and shoulders taller than everyone else, his crisp, fitted suit clashing with the silly holiday sweaters the rest of them wore.
“That’s my brother,” Inuyasha, her best friend and brother-in-law, whispered to her as he passed her a cup of punch, “we just reunited and the family aint too happy about it.” and she understood.
She made her way over, determined to bring him into the fold, or at least make him feel more at ease and welcome.
“Hello,” she greeted, his golden eyes slanting her way. “I’m Kagome, Kikyo’s sister. You know, Inuyasha’s wife?”
“Hn.” He responded with a nod in her direction. “Sesshomaru.”
“It’s so nice to meet you! Can I get you a drink?”
She watched his nose twitch discreetly as he scented the drink in her hand, and then his lip curled up just slightly in disgust.
“Oh, not one of these.” She giggled in response, “I know where they keep the key to the liquor cabinet.”
He relaxed just the slightest iota, and she practically beamed.
“Whisky on the rocks.”
“Coming right up!”
He sipped his drink slowly as she filled him in on every name, occupation and marital status.
Aside from Kikyo and Inuyasha, they had Koga, the bachelor bartender, Sango and Miroku, the married couple who owned a sweet shop, and..
“Me, and I’m a nurse.”
“No significant other?”
His voice, deep and rich, made the hair stand up on her arms in a pleasant way, but she resolutely ignored it.
“Nope! It’s just me.”
“Hn.”
He said little else, but she didn’t get the impression that he was annoyed, so she stayed near him as the party progressed.
“Bye everyone!” She called from the door when it was time to go. “It was so good to finally meet you Sesshomaru, I hope you’ll be around more often!”
He gave her a nod and a little smile, and she went home for a peaceful night’s sleep.
——
He was there for their next group dinner. Inuyasha warned them in hushed tones before he arrived that he may be in a foul mood.
“Things with the family have gotten worse. He barely talks so it’s hard to know what’s happened. I know they don’t like that he’s reconciled with me after they tried to completely shut me and my mom out for not being yokai, but I think there’s more he hasn’t told me. Just don’t be surprised if he’s moody this time.”
“As opposed to how warm and conversational he was at the Christmas party?” Koga quipped, laughing with Miroku and igniting Kagome’s fe mper.
“Well I thought he was nice!” she cut in, blushing when several sets of stunned eyes turned on her at once. “He was!”
“Yeah we saw you two getting cozy in the corner all night.” Miroku said, waggling his brow suggestively.
“We weren’t ‘getting cozy’ you insufferable letch. He looked lonely and uncomfortable so I talked to him. That’s all. And he was nice.” She shrugged, and then the conversation died as Sesshomaru himself swept in.
He took the only seat open, the one next to her, and Kagome felt her heart twist as he simply sat and covered his face with his hands, ignoring everyone else as they chatted and cut up.
Enjoying time with her friends felt hollow with such a wounded soul sitting next to her, but she knew so little about Sesshomaru she worried she might cross some unnamed boundary.
She took a large gulp of her drink and laid her hand gently on his shoulder.
“Sesshomaru… are you alright?” She asked quietly, speaking soft enough to avoid getting the attention of her friends but loud enough that he would hear. After a long moment where she was sure he wouldn’t respond, he pulled his hands away from his face and slowly reached into his pocket. He pulled out his cellphone and tapped the screen once, lighting up a photo of a cute, smiling little human girl with melting brown eyes.
She looked between him and the phone screen, unsure what he was trying to communicate, but certain it was connected to the cause of his dark mood.
“This is Rin.” He clarified, voice pitched low and for her ears only.
“She’s adorable.”
“Hn. She is my daughter.” He met her eyes, and the gold of his glowed firm and defensive.
Suddenly, everything made a lot of shocking sense.
“They don’t like that you’ve adopted a human, do they? Your family?”
“No. They do not.”
Pulling her purse off the back of her chair, Kagome retrieved her own phone. She scrolled through her pictures for just a moment, until she found just the one she was looking for: a grinning little Fox boy holding up a scribbly crayon drawing.
She tilted her screen over, and Sesshomaru leaned nearer to see.
“My son.” She said simply, and though his reaction was so subtle no one sitting any farther away from him than her would notice, Kagome thought she’d seen him sag in relief.
“We should get them together for a play date.” She suggested, and they exchanged numbers with plans to do just that.
————-
Rin and Shippo got along swimmingly, and, surprisingly, so did she and Sesshomaru. He’d grown comfortable enough with her that their conversation consisted of more than just her babbling at him and hoping he was listening. They shared their adoption stories, how they’d found their children and came to be their parents, the challenges that came with adopting children outside your species, he opened up about the backlash he’d faced from his family when he first brought Rin home, backlash he’d expected but hoped against hope he was wrong about.
“Once she warmed my heart and showed me the folly of clinging to the prejudices I’d been raised with, I reached out to Inuyasha in hopes of establishing a relationship with my only sibling. I’d never even met him before, as he and his mother were never allowed around the family before father died. Afterward, everyone acted as if neither ever existed. Likewise, Rin will never meet the rest of her relatives.”
Kagome watched the two children chase each other as they squealed with laughter. Uncomplicated fun between a yokai child and a human child. Completely different species, but alike enough to play.
“If she ever needs a grandmother, I’m certain my mama would take her right in. She’s loved getting to spoil Shippo.”
He smiled, small but true, and she went a little starry eyed at the beauty of it.
“Hn. I will keep it in mind.”
————
Play dates evolved into real dates, and though her friends teased them, they took it in stride. Quiet and controlled in public, Sesshomaru was soft and demonstrative with her in private. She’d never felt so secure in a relationship before, and the firm but nurturing hand he had with both children made them all feel safe.
They spent more time all together than apart, and soon life felt empty if they weren’t all together.
Sesshomaru occasionally came over with a dark cloud over his head after a particularly nasty clash with family, but she’d simply run her fingers through his hair until the knots of tension were soothed. He was a strong, yokai influence for Shippo to learn from; she was a tender human mother for Rin to thrive from, and when Sesshomaru asked if they could join their families together permanently, no question in her life had ever had an easier answer.
And no answer had ever had such drastic consequences.
News got out and around fast, and one night, less than a week after their joyous engagement, Sesshomaru and Rin showed up at her door with a suitcase each, and dour faces.
“We need a place to stay…. A place to live.”
“Oh my gods, come in both of you.”
They spoke nothing of it at first.
Kagome kept busy feeding the children, getting them bathed, and tucking them in together to giggle h see their covers before falling asleep.
As soon as their door was firmly shut, she sat at the table across from Sesshomaru and laced her fingers through his.
“I have been disowned and disinherited.”
Unsure what to say, Kagome simply squeezed his hand.
“They tolerated the fact that I’d adopted a human daughter, but they would not stand for me falling into my father’s footsteps and marrying a human woman. My choices were my standing in the family, or you.”
Tears filled her eyes as him being here could only mean one thing: he’d chosen her.
“Oh Sesshomaru. I’m so sorry.”
“As the house I resided in was family property I was no longer allowed to stay, and I was fired from my father’s company and stripped of all my rights to any part of it. I’m afraid I come here with nothing to offer you now.”
She stood and rushed around the table and into his arms, hunkering down into his strength, hopefully lending her own.
“Stop that. I don’t want anything but you and Rin. That’s all I need. I’m just so sorry you had to lose your home because of me.”
He rested his chin atop her head and let her scent calm him.
“My home.” He mused, looking around the tiny apartment he’d hoped to move her out of soon when they were able to merge their lives into one. It would be cramped with all four of them there full time, but it was already chock full of their memories. They would figure it out.
“My home stopped being a place when you entered my life, Kagome.”
She wept and he held her, one of the only treasures he had left in the world, while the other two slept soundly and happily in their bed.
133 notes · View notes
iwantitiwriteit · 4 years ago
Text
Slow Burn: Book I - Part 7
The Lunch - Small Thank You’s
Pairing: Chris Evans x Famous!Reader
Summary: You and Chris get to know each other better over a flirty friendly lunch.
Warnings: Fluff, spinkle of Angst, Profanity, phonetic spelling of words said in a Boston accent because I needed a laugh
Notes: Hey loves! Hope you all are well! It’s been a while— praying I didn’t forget how to write too bad and y’all enjoy this installment lol. Little FYI: I’m basing the reader’s music off of that of Banks and SZA. Before you dive in, set the mood with the moodboard + music specially curated to go with this part! Read the previous part here.
The GPS said the drive from the museum to the restaurant would be… well, you were distracted from that bit of information. Not that it would matter. Chris keeps making turns against the suggested route, citing that this was “his city” and that he’s a “real Boston boy”.
What you do know is that the talking and laughing with Chris made the car ride seem all too short. Pointing out familiar streets and landmarks, he lit up telling you his childhood stories laced within the city. Pardon, his city. The glint in his eyes and excitement in his voice sent tiny sparks up your spine, but you did your best to ignore it.
Chris tried to guess where you had the two of you going for lunch. You, however, wouldn’t give in to his guesses. Eventually, you arrive at a market of sorts, a culture clash of small businesses and patrons. It’s in an area Chris is familiar with, but he never thought much of coming to.
“I thought we were going to a restaurant?” Chris inquires, not seeing a food establishment from his spot in the driver’s seat.
You puff out your jaw, squint your eyes, and proceed with your best ‘Godfather’-like impersonation as you tell Chris,“I thought you would’ve learned to stop asking me questions by now, hm.”
“That... was horrible.” Chris’ deadpan causes you to giggle in response.
“I know! Now c’mon; I’m starved!” You draw out as you reach to let yourself out of the car.
“Woah, woah, hold on,” Chris stops you with a gentle hand on your arm. You questioningly look over your shoulder at him. He unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the car. Settling back into your seat with a huff of delighted shock, you realize what he’s doing.
Chris jogs to your door, the returning drizzle giving him a sense of urgency. He opens the door for you then offers his upturned, open hand for you to choose to take. You hesitate for a millisecond before obliging, delicately placing your smaller hand in his large palm.
You’re unsure of the last time anyone was this... chivalrous to you. Trying not to dwell on it too long, you give him a soft-spoken ‘thank you’. Chris responds with an equally soft ‘of course’. You both find it difficult to meet each other's eyes, missing the shy smile the other is sporting.
“Lead the way,” Chris gently prompts with a hand extended in the market's direction.
Mildly busy, the market is livened by business people, college students, housewives and househusbands alike. Store fronts of small businesses ranging from sustainable fashion to high-end housewares line the long cobble stone path, accented by fairy lights for added whimsy. Chris curiously takes in the sights from beneath a low baseball cap and hoodie. He’s sure to not let his eyes linger too long for fear of locking with anyone.
Meanwhile, you’re walking with purpose, leaving a distracted Chris behind. He catches up when he notices you turn a corner in his periphery. When he follows the path you took, he finds you by a green, white, and red beaded archway.
You pause and look up at Chris, a playful grin on your lips that makes his heart skip a beat. He’s looking down at you, brows raised with utter anticipation. You think this might be your favorite expression on him. You pull back and step through the beaded entrance, Chris following suit closely behind you.
“Woah…” It was almost as if that small act of stepping over the threshold transported you both to Sicily. The faint notes of Italian standards play in the background as Chris gawks at the charming restaurant.
Tumblr media
The mostly occupied dining area is quaint, housing about 10 tables max, including a couple of booths. The walls are decorated with floor-to-ceiling built-in shelves of libations from Italy. The alcohol display is interrupted by creeping vert vines that add that little bit of spice to the space.
As a waiter walked by, Chris breathed in deeply, the warm aroma of marinara sauce, freshly baked bread and Italian spices filled his nose and lungs.
“How’d you manage to find the one Italian restaurant in the greater Boston area I’ve never been to, much less heard of?”
“Hmmm… must not be as much of a Boston boy as you think,” you say with a wink, and Chris scoffs through his lopsided smirk.
“There she is!” a bellowing voice familiar to you draws yours and Chris’ attention away from each other. Chris looks on as the short, husky man pulls you in for a cheek-to-cheek kiss. “It’s been too long! Mi sei mancata la faccia!”
“Charlie, you know I have no idea what you’re saying, but I like the way you say it!” You share a laugh with your Uber driver-turned-friend. “And what do you mean ‘it’s been too long’! I was just here last week.”
“5 days ago to be exact. 5 days since you, ya castmates… most importantly ya directah,” Charlie stresses lustfully in his strong Boston accent, “have swarmed Ma’s restaurant. Whassup with that, huh?”
“The real question here is what’s up with your crush on Sonya, huh?” you tease him. Charlie’s smitteness with your director has not gone unnoticed.You can practically see the hearts forming in his eyes at this moment.
“I doan know what ya tawkin about.”
“Uh-huh, sure.”
“Enough abowut it! Let’s get ya seated and you can tell me who’s ya new friend,” Charlie says, motioning to Chris.
When you’re seated in a corner booth by a rainy window, you introduce the two men.“ This is Chris, my, uh…um…” You hadn’t really thought about what to call your relationship with Chris. It’s been… rocky up until this point, and while you’ve been friendly, you’re certainly not friends. Not yet, at least.
Chris notices and understands your hesitance, a small part of him hoping it’s because you don’t want to friend-zone him. “It’s alright, don’t worry your pretty, little head about it,” he teases you, earning him an eye roll. “We’re… acquaintances, right?”
“Right! Acquaintances… I guess?” It didn’t feel right, a little too impersonal, but you’ll roll with it for now.
“‘Acquaintances’?” Charlie sizes Chris up, a comical sight considering the dramatically different statues of the two men. He tilts his head and squints at Chris’ face, his expression melting from intimidation to inquisition. Chris tenses, knowing the look he’s being given all to well. “Been here before, Chris? You look mighty familiah…”
“Umm… no... I don’t… don’t believe so,” Chris answers almost timidly. The avoidant gaze into the plastic covered menu, the heated cheeks that shone the same color as a tomato— you know that look all too well. You decide to do what you hoped someone would do for you.
“He’s just got one of those faces! But um, I’m ready to order if you are?” you try to deflect. Charlie doesn’t think much of it and takes down your meal decisions, but that small act means the world to Chris. He mouths ‘thank you’ from across the booth, and you smile and tip your head in a slight nod, sure he would’ve done the same for you.
You order your usual, spaghetti with vegan meatballs, and a glass of the house white wine. Chris has what you’re having except he’s ordered a “tonic”, which you learned the hard way the other night is Bostonian for soda. Charlie is back promptly with your drinks and breadsticks and ensures that your food will arrive shortly with a small smirk on his face that you don’t think too much of.
It’s quiet at your table for quite some time. Both you and Chris take small sips from your glasses, nibble at the garlic-y bread, look out the window and around the restaurant. As you do so, you run through a list of conversation starters in your head but you’ve deemed them all too dumb, too boring or too invasive. Why the hell do I care so much? You glance up at Chris and wonder if he’s going through the same irrational inner turmoil you are. Maybe he’s not, or maybe he’s overcome his when he finally breaks the silence.
“So, um… how long have you been a vegan?”
“Um… how long have we been shooting this movie? My character— she’s very, uh… power to the people— and plants,” You chuckle out. “Figured it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try myself. Go a little method,” you say with a shrug.
Chris waves his breadstick at you as he asks, “You believe in all that method stuff?”
“I don’t know… I’m really new to this whole acting thing, but I guess I just like the idea of really connecting with this character in every way I can. She reminds me so much of myself at that age.”
“How so?” Chris presses on.
“She’s… sure. She’s sure of herself… of her judgements and decisions. She’s sure of her hand in her own success. And that breeds this really un-fuck-with-able confidence in her that if I had an ounce of, it’d be over for you hoes,” you end with a slow nod and look off into the distance.
Chris laughs at your dramatics, but it dawns on him what you’ve shared. “Wait… you’re telling me that’s not you now? I mean, I know I’ve only known you a short time, but you seem pretty un-fuck-with-ably confident to me.”
“Ha! Guess I’m a better actress than I thought,” you mutter. Chris knows it’s meant to be a joke, but watching as you fiddled with the rings on your finger, his chest tightened. A look of sympathy must’ve shown on his face, because you start to wish you hadn’t said anything at all. Did I just overshare? God, I thought I outgrew that.
To save you from your minor embarrassment is Charlie with the same smirk from earlier. He gently places the order in the center of your table, and you finally understand what his face was trying to give away earlier.
“We’re, uh… runnin’ low on plates...” is Charlie’s half-baked explanation. “Buon appetito!” he offers before hastily leaving.
Sat between you and Chris was the meal you ordered, yes, but on the single largest plate you think you’ve ever seen. One plate of spaghetti for two people— two practical strangers— to share. The embarrassment just won’t stop, will it?
Elbow perched on the table, your hand acts as a visor of sorts on your forehead as you massage away the headache forming at your temple. You can’t see Chris, just hear him chuckling and breathing out an “oh man…” under his breath. His fork comes into view as he twirls the pasta onto it. You peek under your hand up at him.
“What? Not gonna just look at it!” Chris insists. “Now, let’s see what this vegan meatball is about… DAMN! That tastes legit!” You giggled at his enthusiasm and felt your tension melt away.
You began to dig in as well. It was fine, normal even, for a few moments. You could almost forget you’re sharing one big ass plate of pasta with one of Hollywood’s most sought after stars at a hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant. Yep, very normal. As long as I keep from oversharing the rest of this afternoon, everything should be fine… you thought to yourself.
“Tell me… how are you liking Boston?” Chris asks.
“It’s fine.”
“‘Fine’?! Just fine.”
“It’s great Chris, no need to get your panties in a twist. But, ya know… It’s just not…”
“Home? Yeah, I get that. Where’s home for you?”
“Um… well I guess home has never been a single place for me. It’s with people I love, as cheesy as that sounds. Home is where my heart is…” you trail off as you remember you shouldn’t share too much.
“And your heart is with family, friends… a boyfriend…?” Chris slips in.
“What is this? 20 questions?” You quip as you sip on your white wine.
“Maybe... if you want. You can ask me something.”
“Hmm… Ok…” You ponder over what to ask him as you twirl your pasta around your fork. “What is… mm no. How about… nah, wait.” Chris huffs impatiently as he awaits your first question. “Ok! I got it!”
“Alright, lay it on me.” Your breath hitches at his word choice and you hope doesn’t notice. Why’d he have to say it like that?! You clear your throat and ask your question.
“What’s your favorite song of mine?”
“Really? That’s your question? So conceited…”
You giggle before explaining, “Well, I only ask ‘cos a little Scottie told me he saw you, and I quote, ‘full on rocking out’ to one of my songs. I’m just curious which one it was.” You sip on your straw and peer up at Chris, watching for his reaction.
Chris groans, covering his face while sinking down the booth seat. You can’t hear too much of what he's saying behind his hands and over your laughter, but it sounds like he’s cursing Scott’s name. When he finally restores some gumption, he places his hands on his napkin, eyes fixated on his fingertips picking at the dampened corners. Teeth sunk into your bottom lip, you try your best to bite back your amusement to not further Chris’s obvious embarrassment.
“Ok…” Chris sighs out, “ I’ll admit it! I’m man enough to own up to it,” he shrugs. “Yes, I was ‘full on rocking out’ to your music. You’re amazing at what you do.”
Your face heats up, not expecting the compliment. You don’t know what to say. It’s not like you’ve never heard it before. In fact you’ve heard it a lot the past couple of years, you’d thought you’d become numb to it. Yet, for some reason, sitting across from Chris, his eyes looking tenderly into yours, the compliment you’ve heard a million times before just… hits different. “Thank you.”
“Of course.”
You clear your throat and break eye contact with Chris. “You still haven’t answered my question, though...”
“Right! Hold on…” Chris says as he fishes his phone from his front pocket. He scrolls through his music app to find the playlist he’s made of his favorite songs of yours. Your cheeks burn even more intensely as you watch. “‘Gemini Feed’ is my favorite to dance to; hands down! But I also really love ‘Drew Barrymore’; it’s fun… but sad, ya know? What am I saying; of course you know; it’s your song!”
You giggle in somewhat disbelief of watching Chris motherfucking Evans geek out over your songs!
“Well… this is a rare opportunity I have, to talk to the artist herself, that is. So, I have to ask, how did that song come about? From personal experience, I suppose?”
“Yeah… um, gosh. You want the full or abridged version of the story?”
“Full! Are you kidding me?!”
“Ok, ok! Well, it was right before my album was set to come out, and my boyfriend-at-the-time dumped me,” you laugh lightly at the now-funny memory. “After weeks of heated arguments and projecting his career insecurities on to me, he picked his final fight with me about how I was “acting too famous for him” and just ended things.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah... It completely caught me off guard. I couldn’t think straight in the studio that day, so I ended the session earlier and went to a party, per my best friend-slash-manager’s coercion. She’s a bad influence.”
“I like her style! Did the party help?” Chris asked.
“Well, it was on the higher-end of house parties, and I just wasn’t used to being around such an expensive lifestyle yet. But guess who was there because why wouldn’t he be?,” you exhale and roll your eyes as you reminisce.
Chris leaned in with intrigue. “The Ex?”
“Mm-hm. In my standard walk-in-the-party-scan of the room, I spot him. I should've known because that party was very much his scene, but what I wouldn't have guessed is that he'd be there with some other woman.”
“What?!”
You nod your head as you proceed to spill the tea to Chris. “This dude is there with another woman, after being out of a relationship for all of 8 hours. I think the worst part is that she looked nothing like me. Like, imagine the complete opposite of me to the hottest power, that was who was hanging all over that idiot.”
“He is a total idiot for letting you go.” You don’t know what to say to Chris’ statement and quite honestly forgot where you were, what you were talking about… “What happened next?”
“Right! We locked eyes for a moment and there wasn’t anything from him. No emotion at all. Like, he didn’t care that our relationship just ended. But then I had the thought that maybe we’d been over for a while and I had just been too distracted to realize and accept the party was over.”
“Jimi peeped what was up and got me out of there. I hoped that we could go home so that I could cry on her shoulder all night. Instead, she dragged me to a real house party. I so badly wanted to pity myself, but the energy there was too infectious to not enjoy; it felt like a 90s movie!”
“The next day, I went through my crazy ass camera roll, and I couldn’t help but... smile… and laugh! Then I thought about him, and how stupid he made me feel, and I don’t know… I kinda put all these weird, conflicting emotions into this one song, and felt better afterwards. Like I was turning a page.”
Chris didn’t immediately say anything, taking in the very personal story you shared. The somewhat unfortunate event that fueled his favorite lyrics. He looked at you carefully and quietly. However kind he looked in this moment, it didn't matter much to the creeping thoughts in your mind.
The silence made you self-conscious. You took inventory of your physical, how your face was hot, how your chest felt tight. Your left hand had somehow migrated into Chris’ right hand in the middle of the table. “I, uh— my bad…” you start as you take back your hand.
Chris quickly grabs your hand before it gets too far. “Thank you for sharing that story with me... and your music with the world. Your confidence in your vulnerability is really fucking inspiring. Thank you. Seriously, thank you,” he gives your hand a gentle squeeze for emphasis. He’s looking at you with a boyish smile and tilted head that makes you break down and smile at him, too.
“Thank you,” you return, just barely above a whisper.
——————————————————————————
You and Chris spent the rest of your time at L'amore Della Madre exchanging stories of love lost and life wins, sharing loud laughs and silent signs of admiration. To anyone on the outside looking in, it may have seemed like two had known each other longer than you actually have.
“I gotta say, I don’t like this,” Charlie whispers to you. He pulled you aside for a moment to say your goodbyes, while Chris waited for you outside. “Mostly becahse it was supposed to be my jahb to set you up with a nice Italian boy, but you’ve brought your own,” he says with a smirk.
“Oh, no! It’s not like that! Chris and I aren’t— wait… how’d you know he’s part Italian?“
“I have my sources… which may be the wait staff who are big fans of the guy. Here this is from them,” Charlie hands you a to-go box.”It’s tiramisu… for two,” he winks.
“Oh my god! I told you, we--”
“Will thank me at your wedding!” Charlie says as he waves you out of the door to the sidewalk where Chris is waiting.
“Wedding? Who’s getting married?” Chris asks.
You let out a sigh and shake your head. “Nobody. Want dessert?”
You and Chris small talk and walk and eat tiramisu on your way to the car. It was nice. It was normal. It felt… real. You didn’t realize how much you needed and missed small, yet meaningful moments like this until right now.
The pair of you stop in front of a pet shop window and watch the puppies play together for a moment. You pointed out a pair of snuggled up puppies to Chris. “Hey, they kinda look like us!”
Chris chuckles when he looks, “They do!” A chocolate brown puppy and a tannish-white one lie peacefully in one another’s presence without a care for the world on the other side of the glass. The tannish-white one starts to lick and nudge at the chocolate brown one, eliciting what you made out to be a sleepy smile from the brown pup. You don’t know why, but witnessing such intimacy causes you and Chris to straighten, fidgeting and giggling nervously.
“I had fun today.”
“As did I. You’re better company than I thought you’d be,” you joke.
“Uh… thanks?” He answers reluctantly, causing you to giggle. “Maybe we could… hang out again sometime…?”
“Maybe we could.”
“Cool.”
“Cool.” There’s a beat of silence as you and Chris hold each other’s gaze. “So… you wanna take my number down?” you prompt him.
“Right! Right. Yeah, I should probably do that…” Chris stammers as he pulls out his phone. You take it from him, replacing it with your phone. You put in your number along with taking a silly picture for your contact, and he does the same.
Chris laughs at your shared child-like humor, and you revel in the moment. It was nice. It was normal. It was the first time you’d felt unmistakably connected with someone without feeling anxious of their motives or what the world thought of it in a very long time.
Time moved slowly when you were with Chris, it seemed to good to real life. But just like that, a flash snaps you and Chris out of your daze and back to reality.
You both look in the direction of the camera flash to find a young woman trying to pretend she didn’t just take a picture of the two of you. Chris turns back to you but doesn’t meet your eyes. Instead his head is hung low as he says “I really… hate that shit.”
“Preaching to the choir.” Chris looks up to your face, your gaze steady in the general direction of the perpetrator. “Makes me feel like an animal in a cage.” You say.
This is why Chris doesn’t mind celebrity companionship. You get it. You understand this strange aspect of his life that not many other people truly do. You also get the value of normalcy and privacy… and leaving when the party’s over.
“Let’s get out of here.” You say coldly and walk in the direction of the car.
Chris was baffled, to say the least. This was usually the part where you talk about how “fans” will cross invisible boundaries just because they know your face and name. However, you seemed uninterested in trauma bonding.
You were already buckled in when Chris caught up to you in the car. The energy the entire drive to your sister’s brownstone was… off. Nothing like it was earlier in the day. A simple flash changed your mood, and Chris was aching for it to go back to before. But no joke, or crank of the radio volume seemed to work.
When Chris pulls up to the curb, you immediately hop out, mumbling a final thank you to him.
“Hey,” Chris grabs your wrist gently, halting you, “You get kinda used to it. Ya know... after a while,” he says hoping you’d find comfort in his words.
You look down at where his hand was wrapped around your wrist. “Yeah… that’s what I'm afraid of... but thanks anyway.” Taking back your wrist from Chris, you turn to walk to the front door.
Chris is calling after you. He doesn't want to be emotionally intrusive, but he hopes you'll give him a chance to understand you. Help you. Comfort you. If only she'd turn around. You can't bear to look back at Chris. It will only remind you of everything good today, and why you can't have it.
Part 8 coming soon! What’d you think?
93 notes · View notes
taetaespeaches · 4 years ago
Text
“I could never want less of you.”
hoseok x reader (or oc) genre: angst; fluff word count: 3.3K
a/n: Ok, I’m giggling because this was supposed to be much angstier than what it turned out to be lmao. But like, it’s Hobi and Petal, they just work shit out, idk lol. Anyways, these two are taking a big step in their relationship and it brings out some stress and insecurities and it leads to an argument that is really patched up very quickly lol. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :))
Tumblr media
SITTING at the kitchen island, you scrolled through the photos displayed on your laptop screen of a seemingly perfect apartment that was currently available. The location was conveniently placed in close proximity to both yours and Hoseok’s workplaces, the apartment was stunning, and the building was safe and secure. It appeared to be exactly what you and your boyfriend were looking for.
It was a month ago when you and Hoseok decided you should move in together. He practically already lived at your place anyway, you loved having each other around, and you absolutely planned on spending the rest of your lives together. Finding a new place together felt right.
Bookmarking the page, you wrote down the realtor’s name and number and noted a few details about the living space. Clicking onto another apartment, tapping your pen on the notebook, your front door opened, the sound drawing your eyes to see Hoseok kicking his shoes off before meeting your gaze.
“Hey, Petal,” he gave you a small smile, his eyes darting to your hand that was tapping the pen repeatedly.
“Hi, Sunshine,” you grinned before turning back to the screen to pull up the perfect apartment once again. “Guess what I found,” you said excitedly, Hoseok humming as he approached you. As he peered over your shoulder at the screen, you gestured to the laptop with a playful, “ta-da!”
“Oh, an apartment?” He questioned.
“I really like it, look,” you started, Hoseok already losing focus as he took a step away from you.
“Petal, I just got home,” he pointed out, you turning to look at him, inspecting his features. Your heart dropped at the apprehension displayed in his expression. Throughout the past week, your boyfriend had been acting less and less interested in apartment hunting, and you were beginning to take it personally.
When you and Hoseok first decided to move in together, he was the one who suggested it, stating that he couldn’t wait to have a shared space with you.
Tumblr media
Lying in bed together, your nude forms pressed together in a post-sex cuddle, you dragged your finger across his chest as he soothed his knuckles up and down the curve of your hip.
“I missed you,” he spoke softly into the moonlit room, the illumination pouring in through the bedroom window.
“Did you miss me or my bedroom skills?” You teased, Hobi chuckling as his hand moved to tickle your side, you squirming against him until you rolled on top of him, resting your chin on his chest. “I missed you too,” you admitted before bringing your finger to his nose, tapping it gently with a “boop”.
“Your apartment is too far from the studio and dorm when the schedule is packed,” he complained with a slight whine. He had been upset all week that he hadn’t been able to see you due to your hectic new job and his demanding idol schedule with a comeback in the works. “Six days is too long,” he added.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get to the dorm to visit,” you apologized, the man instantly shaking his head.
“No, our places are just too far apart,” he pointed out. “I couldn’t get over here either.”
With your eyes raking over his face, you huffed. “My apartment is too far from everything now,” you thought aloud. “It was good for university but now my job is closer to where you’re at and it just doesn’t really make sense to be living clear out here.”
“Are you thinking of moving?” He asked, his eyes widened.
“I don’t know,” you pondered. “Maybe?”
Your boyfriend nodded slowly, watching you carefully. Inspecting his expression, you knew there was something on his mind. “What is it?” You questioned him, the man smiling in response at being caught in thought.
“Well,” he started nervously, you staring at him curiously. “You’re thinking of moving,” he added, you humming in confirmation, “and well, I’ve been thinking of my life with you. Our future,” he clarified.
“Hobi,” you realized, making him smile wider.
“Would you want to move in together, Petal?” He asked, you holding back your smile as you stared at him.
“You’re not just suggesting this because I might want to move, are you?” You asked, Hobi quickly shaking his head. “Because this is a big decision, it can’t just be made out of convenience,” you added, your boyfriend chuckling as he tried to cut in. “Like we need to actually want this,” you continued, Hoseok smiling even wider.
Calling your name to get your attention, you stopped talking to appreciate the grin spread across his face. “I actually want this, Petal,” he assured you. “I’ve wanted it, I plan on spending my life with you, I obviously want to live with you.”
The words circled your mind for a moment before a smile broke out on your face. “I want this too,” you agreed easily. “Of course I do,” you added, more telling yourself than him. “I hate not having you here in the evening,” you realized suddenly.
“So, yes? Are we moving in together in?” He asked for clarification, you scrunching your nose at him, the man letting out a cute scream in excitement, you laughing in amusement of him. “Omg, you have champagne in the kitchen,” he realized, gently rolling you off him as he ran out of the bedroom butt ass naked to retrieve the celebratory drink, only to return a second later.
“Did you forget something?” You asked through your giggles, the man nodding.
“This,” he said just before kissing you hard and passionately, pouring every ounce of love he had for you into the action. The champagne could wait.
Tumblr media
However, as time went on, Hoseok seemed to become anti-enthusiastic about the very real apartment hunt, and it made you worry he only liked the idea in theory. When put into action, he seemed to be changing his mind.
When you turned back to the screen, Hoseok sighed, noticing your dejection. “Ok, show me,” he started, moving closer to you as you shook your head, minimizing the tab as you pulled up your email, shifting focus as you continued tapping your pen against the notebook. “Petal,” he called out.
“No,” you said simply, not wanting to get into the fight that was inevitably on its way.
“Will you please just show me the apartment?” He asked, an annoyance in his tone. Scoffing at him, you continued tapping the pen against the notebook, Hoseok focusing in on the steady rhythm as you scrolled through the pointless junk emails. “Stop tapping that,” he suddenly spoke, you dropping the pen as you pushed your stool away from the counter.
Standing, you began to walk away, pushing past Hoseok only for him to reach for your hand. You let him take it, turning to look him in the eye.
“I don’t want you to look at the apartment because you feel like you have to, I want you to look at it because you want to, because you’re excited about living together, because-”
“I am excited,” he insisted, you rolling your eyes as you pulled your hand from his. “What?”
“Do you think I’m stupid? You’ve acted bothered every time I’ve brought up apartments to you for the past week,” you pointed out, Hoseok huffing as he watched you walk further into the kitchen. “Is it me?”
“What? No. Is what you?” He asked in concern and confusion, you staring at him as your heart pounded in your chest.
“Do you not want to live with me? Is that why you’re not excited?” You asked, holding back the emotions that were bubbling to the surface.
“I do want to live with you, there is not a single bit of truth in that entire thought process, so stop,” he told you firmly, you shrugging. “I’m just tired,” he defended his recent lack of interest, you shaking your head.
“Don’t blame whatever is happening on tiredness, I know you better than that,” you informed him, the man looking at you guiltily. “You went from being really enthusiastic about the whole process and loving every apartment to nitpicking the apartments over small things to completely avoiding looking at the apartments at all,” you continued. “Something is happening.”
The man simply stared at you for a moment, you biting your bottom lip as you tried conceal the tears that were quickly working their way to the surface. Instead of speaking, he looked to the laptop, placing his fingers on the track pad.
“Don’t,” you told him, closing the laptop, Hoseok moving his hand out of the way just before you shut it completely. “What is going on?” You asked him desperately, the tears pricking your eyes as they gathered along your bottom lash line. Sighing, he looked down at the pen. “Hoseok.”
“The pen tapping,” he whispered, you glaring at him in confusion.
“What?”
Looking up to meet your gaze, he noticed the tears, his face dropping at the realization that you were nearly crying because of him. “You tap your pen whenever you’re focusing on something,” he said, furthering your confusion.
“Ok?” You questioned. “So you don’t want to live with me because I tap my pen?” You asked, the man letting out a huff of air as he shook his head, you wiping your face with the back of your hand.
“No,” he spoke in a fragile voice. “I love when you do it. It’s cute and it’s how I know you’ve lost yourself in thought.” His own emotions began taking over as he tightened his jaw.
“What the fuck is happening, what are you saying?” You questioned in frustration, not understanding the point he was attempting to make.
“People say that the small things you love about a person sometimes become the stuff that drive a wedge between you,” he explained, you staring at him in disbelief.
“Seriously?” You questioned, your boyfriend scoffing at your judgmental tone.
“Just forget it,” he dismissed, turning his face away from you to wipe his eyes.
“No, let me get this straight,” you continued, Hoseok looking back at you with a glare. “You think our relationship is so fragile that being locked in a shared living space with me as I’m tapping my pen will be the ruination of us?” You asked him coldly. “That’s what you’re saying?”
“Jesus christ,” he complained, waving you off. “What I’m saying is that I’m scared,” he admitted. “It’s a big change and I’m scared that all the weird little things about me that you love now are going to end up being the things you hate.”
A small sob escaped your lips at the realization that he wasn’t concerned about him falling out of love with you, but rather you losing feelings for him. “Hoseok, do you understand how much I love you?”
“Yes,” he told you as a tear slid down his cheek. “But I also know how fiercely independent you are and I’m worried that with too much time with me, you’ll realize you want less of me,” he told you, revealing the insecurities he had been hiding away.
“But that’s so ridiculous,” you told him, the man shrugging. “Hoseok-” you started just as your phone rang, cutting you off. Your boyfriend looked at the device that sat next to your laptop.
“It’s your work,” he told you, you sighing.
“It can wait,” you told him, Hoseok shaking his head. “No, we’re not done,” you added, your boyfriend holding the phone out to you.
“The job is new, you need to answer this,” he told you, you shaking your head stubbornly. Pressing answer for you, he gestured to the phone, you huffing and cocking your head at him, taking the phone and bringing it to your ear. Sniffling, you greeted your coworker on the other side of the call.
Hoseok walked out of the kitchen, your eyes following his every step, you listening intently as he moved about the apartment. When the shower started, you tried to focus on the call, taking the opportunity to take care of your work while he was occupied. However, you couldn’t care less about the work issue when you knew your boyfriend, who was just feet away, was so scared of you losing feelings for him. Hoseok and his worries consumed every corner of your mind, making you resort to hums and one-word answers to the fellow employee on the phone.
By the time he stepped out of the shower and entered the bedroom, your work call had ended, you instead sitting back at the island as you looked through the photos of the perfect apartment over and over. How could he not know that you’ve pictured your future with the man since your first date? Your love wasn’t so frail that your feelings would just simply go away.
You not so patiently awaited his return to the kitchen to continue the previous discussion, but he never appeared. After about five minutes, you picked the laptop up and made your way to the bedroom, quietly peeking your head inside to find Hoseok underneath he covers in bed, his back turned to the door.
Despite the tension and the leftover frustration, the concern and hurt, you felt nothing but relief in that moment. Watching as his body rose up and down slightly in accordance to the inhales and exhales that entered and left his sleeping frame, you were just thankful that he was there. You always wanted him there.
Stepping into the room, you placed the laptop on your bedside table before crawling under the sheets, and turning toward your lover. You could only see the side of his face, but he looked peaceful as he slept. You were with him. Through all of it, whatever may come. And the knowledge that he questioned that was enough to elicit tears as you draped your arm around his waist, holding yourself tightly to him as you rested your cheek against his shoulder blade, matching the air that entered and left his lungs as he breathed in and out.
The man stirred at your touch, his hand finding yours that rested at the center of his abdomen, his larger one enclosing over yours.
“I don’t know how to assure you, but I’m just so happy you’re here right now,” you told him through your tears, the man immediately turning in your embrace to face you at the sound of your emotions.
“Petal,” he frowned, you hugging him tightly as you buried your face in his chest.
“I love you so much, I need you to feel it,” you cried to him, your boyfriend pressing his lips to the top of your head comfortingly.
“I do,” he promised. “It’s just a big step, I got overwhelmed.”
“I don’t always express myself as much as I should, but I need you to understand that my love for you is the most sincere and intense mix of emotions I’ve ever had the pleasure of feeling and I don’t ever plan on letting you go,” you told him in a surprise verbal confession that neither of you expected to leave your lips. “I love you, Jung Hoseok,” you told him, lifting your face from his chest to look him in the eye, no shame, no embarrassment present. “Thank you for being here,” you told him genuinely. “I always want you here.”
The man leaned his head toward you to press a sweet kiss to your forehead, you leaning into the touch. “I know that,” he whispered against your skin. “I do, I promise I do,” he assured you. “And I don’t want to be anywhere else than right here right now.” You sighed in relief, Hobi’s lips curving into a smile against your head. “Except maybe in our shared apartment,” he added, you giggling lightly at the comment.
“I know it’s overwhelming,” you told him. “I’m nervous for it too, but I’m sure of us.” Hoseok’s smiling lips pressed a few more kisses to your forehead quickly before he pulled away to look at you.
“I am too,” he nodded.
“Good,” you told him with a small smile. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“I’m glad you did,” he chuckled.
Inspecting his sleepy features, you brought your hand to his face to run your finger along his cheek purposelessly. “How tired are you?” You asked.
“Why do you ask?” He questioned back, smiling fondly at your smirk.
“Can I show you the apartment?” You asked in a hopeful tone, Hoseok’s grin widening as he sat up quickly, nodding happily.
“Please, I really want to see it,” he told you, you wiggling in excitement before sitting up with him and reaching for the laptop.
“Ok, it’s located perfectly between your studio and my office, and it has a small little deck area, and the floors are hardwood, and omg it has a bathtub,” you ranted on, pulling the computer onto your lap. “Oh and wait until you see this fucking closet it’s mass-” you were cut off by Hoseok placing a finger to your chin, turning you toward him to immediately place his lips to yours, you easily kissing him back.
Your lips worked flawlessly against one another’s, his soft and warm as always. Pulling away from you, he beamed in utter adoration, you grinning shyly. “I really cannot wait to live with you,” he told you.
“Me too,” you agreed simply, back to your short words with big meaning. “And I could never want less of you,” you told him, the man’s gaze softening at your assurance. “Plus,” you added, intriguing your boyfriend. “If I ever get sick of you, I’ll just tell BigHit to send you on a worldwide tour,” you teased, Hoseok playfully scoffing in feigned disbelief.
“You’re so mean,” he joked, kissing your cheek repeatedly, you giggling at the action.
“You’re so obnoxious,” you retorted happily.
“I know,” he grinned, pecking your lips softly. “Now show me this thing,” he told you, gesturing to the laptop.
“Ok,” you turned to the screen, clicking on the first image. “We could have a little garden here,” you told him, “and oh my god, look, we could put a little bed here for Mickey so he can bask in the sun.”
As you went through the photos excitedly, explaining your vision to him, he could see everything vividly. Waking up and walking into the kitchen to see you dancing around to music as the coffee brewed. Cuddling on the couch with you as you both attempted to watch yet another horror movie, only getting five minutes in before you both called it quits, turning on an animated film instead. On the rare days he got home before you, he would cook you dinner at that stovetop and when you came in and greeted him gratefully, you’d sit at the kitchen island and you’d tell each other about your days. On lazy Sundays, he could see you sitting on the deck area reading a book, Mickey in your lap as you read aloud to the little pup.
Every room, every space, he could see your lives happening.
“Can you call the realtor in the morning?” He suddenly asked as you explained the specifications of the apartment.
“You want me to?” You asked, looking toward him, meeting his smile with your own.
“I love it,” he told you, you scrunching your nose before discarding the laptop to the bottom of the bed, promptly crawling onto your boyfriend’s lap as you kissed all around his face in excitement and happiness.
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” you repeated between kisses, the man giggling as he wrapped his arms around your waist.
“I love you so much, Petal,” he replied. “I love our life.”
He truly did. And he loved your future. No matter what it brought, he already loved it. Because it was yours, together.
265 notes · View notes
kaistarus · 4 years ago
Text
Just A Line Without A Hook
Tumblr media
Pairing: Hinata X Reader
Words: 5.9K
Summary: You and Hinata share your point-of-views during important milestones throughout your relationship.
A/N: This is a full relationship development and I’m very proud lol hopefully you can find some joy in it :3
Masterlist // Ko-Fi
Hinata was weird.
That lurked in your mind as you leaned on a conspicuously sticky bar table listening to him tell you his entire life’s story. Your original intent for the night had been to quickly pop into Yachi’s birthday party since you worked at the butt crack of dawn. Give her the present and maybe have a drink. Whatever you did it was meant to be fast.
Too bad you had never been good at sticking to plans.
“I moved to Brazil right after high school to learn beach volleyball,” Hinata said, his smile soft as he looked longingly in the distance. “But I didn’t explore as much as I should have. I really want to go back.”
“Out of high school?” You cocked your head to the side, “that’s wild. I moved to Tokyo and still felt completely out of place.”
“Well, it didn’t go too hot at first.” He scratched his cheek. “I actually got my wallet stolen my first week there…”
You fought to keep lips from pulling into a smile.
There was something in the carefree way he carried himself that made it hard to turn away. The moment Yachi introduced you there was an odd sense of comfort that washed over you. Which made no sense because you had known absolutely nothing about the guy-aside from him being a professional volleyball player and attending high school with Yachi.
Still, it was no reason to let your guard down.
“Sounds like they took advantage of the clueless foreigner,” you teased, curious butterflies tickling your abdomen when he pouted. “I’ve always thought Italy looked cool. If I could travel somewhere.”
Hinata’s lips mindlessly curved into a relaxed smile as you spoke, as if that was their default expression when not preoccupied. And it made conversation with him easy. It dissipated your usual anxieties about overthinking every action or word. You truly felt like you could be yourself and just exist within his presence.
“I have a friend in Italy!” Hinata said, elation lighting up his amber eyes. He began drawing circles in the condensation of his glass with an awkward laugh. “I think anyway. He travels all over the place, but he was in Italy last I knew.”
“That’s so cool,” your jaw went a little slack. You didn’t know people actually did stuff like that.
“Yeah Noya’s the best,” Hinata nodded resolutely. “He visited me for a while in Brazil. I taught him some Portugese and we played beach volleyball. He was so jealous everyone called me Ninja Shoyo. It was awesome.”
Hinata could speak Portugese? Ninja Shoyo?
So many questions…
“What’s a Ninja Sho-” You began until your phone lit up after receiving a message and you realized just how late it was. “Oh my god, I have to go.”
“Wait,” Hinata interrupted you mid-frantic scrabble to zip your jacket. You furrowed your brow at the smartphone he placed unlocked on the table between you. “Could I-uh-you know… talk to you again sometime?”
You blinked a few times before swiping the device off the bar’s gross table. “Yeah,” you said, a warmth you didn’t recognize filling your chest as you created your contact. “I’d like that.”
An absentminded smile painted Hinata’s face after you waved good-bye and when you stepped outside beneath the light snowfall you realized your lips were curved to match. But there was still too wide a gap between how little you knew about Hinata and how much you desired to be close to him. That new part of you burned too bright in your chest to be ignored.
And you would simply have to change that.
*******************************************************************************************
Hinata huddled in the corner of the gymnasium over his duffle bag, staring at his cellphone in case he received a last second message. His eyes flickered between the ticking clock above the bleachers and his phone’s black screen, stomach sinking as the seconds passed. He anxiously unlocked his phone to scroll through and analyze his last conversation.
Had he said something wrong? He supposed he’d never actively tried to flirt before, so it wasn’t unlikely he offended you somehow. He furrowed his brow and chewed on his thumbnail, rereading his last message. Maybe he overdid it with the emojis?
Wait, were you at work? You could also just be busy. Maybe he was just overthinking everything…
“Why are you crouched in the corner like a creep?” Atsumu crept up behind him, eyeing him suspiciously.
Hinata jumped, shoving his phone back into his duffle bag. “Nothing.”
“Bull shit. You’ve been acting off for weeks,” Atsumu squatted to Hinata’s eye-level and leaned forward with a sly grin. “Someone’s keeping secrets.”
A warmth rushed to Hinata’s face. He was a terrible liar if questioned directly. “I wouldn’t keep secrets from you guys. I mean, we’re practically family now.” he chuckled unconvincingly.
“Right,” Atsumu gave him a once-over before standing. Hinata let out a relieved sigh that he’d been spared for now.
“What’s happening over here?” Bakuto boisterously called out while skipping over to the boys. Sakusa trailed behind him with his hands shoved deep into his sweatpant’s pockets.
“Hinata’s lying out his ass.”
Hinata whipped around toward Atsumu with his jaw slack. The audacity of this guy. “I am not!”
“The guy’s zoning out at practice, making heart eyes at his phone, and fucking notre daming over his duffle?” Atsume raised his brows at Hinata. “Either he’s getting scouted for a different team or he’s dating someone.”
“You’re leaving the team?” Sakusa asked monotone, as if he couldn’t care either way. If Hinata wasn’t used to the constant monotone he’d be offended.
“No,” he denied, qualming Bokuto’s prepared puppy-dog eyes. “And I’m not dating anyone.”
Which wasn’t a lie. You were nothing more than a friend at this point. Even if his heart ignited a flame anytime your name crossed his mind.
“A crush then,” Atsumu waved him off. “Either way a massive Hinata life development you lied to us about.”
“I didn’t lie, I just,” Hinata wrinkled his nose while thinking of ways out of the predicament. “I think Shugo is calling to start practice. We should probably-”
“You’ve got a crush?” Bokuto’s eyes appeared to sparkle when he flung an arm around Hinata’s shoulder. “Who is it? Do we know them? You don’t need to sweat Hinata I’m an excellent wingman.”
Hinata waved his hands in front of him. “You don’t know them and it’s okay. You really don’t have to-”
“Oh, don’t be so considerate. We’re offering our services Hinata.” Atsumu said smugly while Bokuto nodded excitedly.
Hinata forced a half-smile. This had been exactly what he wanted to avoid. If his feelings were just a measly crush he would have gladly brought them up to the guys, but they were way more extreme then that.
“I’m not offering anything,” Sakusa raised his brows slightly in Hinata’s direction before walking off. “Good luck.”
“Buzz kill.” Atsumu pouted.
“Look, this is more complicated than you guys realize,” Hinata brushed Bokuto’s arm off his shoulders. “I can’t really explain it, but I don’t think you guys can help me.”
“Hinata, it’s okay. We all have our faults. Some more than others, but we’re here for you.” Atsumu patted his shoulder understandably and Hinata shot him a glare.
“Akaashi always tells me to ‘just be yourself’.” Bokuto nodded proudly, clasping his fist with determination. “Then you’ll attract the people who are meant to be in your life.”
Hinata blinked a few times. That… was really good advice.
“That’s stupid,” Atsumu scoffed. “You gotta stalk them on all social media. Analyze their personality and figure out exactly what they're into. Learn their ins and outs and become their type.”
That… was the dumbest thing he had ever heard.
“I don’t know Atsumu, that sounds kind of wrong,” Bokuto tapped his chin and Atsumu pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed deeply.
“Okay, but numbers don’t lie and I have the highest success rate.”
Bokuto and Hinata tilted their heads mulling that one over. No. It still seemed dumb.
Hinata zoned off as Bokuto and Atsumu began debating the morals of online stalking and the value of Akaashi’s opinions. He already knew that if he wanted real help picking apart the fire in his chest he’d have to talk to someone who’d take him seriously like Yamaguchi. Then he’d actually get to dissect the confusing emotions in his heart-look at them from all angles.
Learn to understand them and tend to them properly. Help them grow.
He watched Atsumu chase a cackling Bokuto around the gym until their captain Shugo scolded them. Hinata smirked. Even if they weren’t the most helpful he still appreciated knowing he had people willing to help him... in their own way.
*******************************************************************************************
You and Hinata spent the majority of your free time together, but even after several months it was nothing more than two friends placing comfort in each other’s company. Most Thursdays it was normal to find Hinata lounging on your living room sofa. He watched some volleyball commentary video on his cellphone, legs propped lazily on the armrest, while you answered work emails at your coffee table.
On a normal Thursday night you would continue whatever show you’d been watching-currently Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood-but tonight you were stuck finishing last minute work. You heaved a sigh and glanced over your shoulder at Hinata, his breathing relaxed while his eyes flickered across his phone’s screen.
You weren’t oblivious to your feelings. Maybe at first you were able to brush them off as excitement about a new friend, but they had shifted into something intense. Always festering in the forefront of your mind throughout your daily routine.
It became obvious when you noticed you spent more time counting the freckles scattered across the bridge of his nose than focusing on conversations. When you realized you spent more time at work trying to pin-point the exact shade to call his hair than getting actual work done. Even more so when your heart would do acrobatics at the sound of his voice whenever you talked on the phone.
No matter how you looked at it, it became impossible to deny.
“Hey, are you okay?”
You looked back again and Hinata’s eyebrows were furrowed with concern, his earbuds pulled out and phone placed on his stomach. 
“Yeah,” you half-smiled and he raised his brows to show he clearly didn’t believe you. You let out a breathy laugh, breaking the eye-contact to lean back against the couch and place your head on his bicep. “I’m just thinking.”
“Don’t hurt yourself,” he teased, a hand gently placed on the crown of your head.
“Shut up,” you said with no bite behind your words.
He snorted, rubbing his thumb against the top of your head. “...what if I was also thinking?”
“That’s probably more dangerous than me thinking,” you laughed, rubbing your socked toes together with a soft smile. When he didn’t respond you twisted around to check on him, but he wouldn’t meet your eyes. “Hinata?”
“Nevermind.”
You gripped the couch cushion for support as you leaned in slightly. There was no way for you to be sure, but you could have sworn Hinata was blushing.
“What were you thinking about?” You questioned. Your heart was beating a million times a second in your chest and there was something akin to hope burning beside it.
Hinata looked in your eyes challengingly, “what were you thinking about?”
“You.”
He seemed taken aback by your bluntness, but brushed it off quickly. “I want to kiss you.”
Your eyes widened. It felt like all the air had been sucked from the room as you stared into his hopeful amber eyes.
“Well, do it then.” You responded, barely above a whisper. Hinata took a while to process, but once he had his face lit up crimson.
His hand cradled the side of your face and you watched him carefully, allowing him to make the moves. You kept your mind blank so as not to overthink the situation, but you hoped at least one brain cell was functioning enough to get you through it.
The kiss Hinata pressed against your lips was a little too hesitant, too off-center, and too brief. Yet the beaming smile he gave you afterward sent your heart into a frenzy unlike anything you’d ever experienced. The dopey smile on your lips felt too embarrassing and you buried your face against Hinata’s chest.
After a little coaxing with promises of television and snacks you peeked back up, happily met with Hinata’s dazed smile. The rest of the night was spent wrapped in each other’s arms and supplying random kisses because ‘they definitely needed practice’; ending with Hinata falling asleep in your bed for the first, but definitely not last, time.
*******************************************************************************************
Hinata hated being sick.
He hated fighting through a thick fog to collect words when stringing together sentences was usually effortless. He hated the pounding headaches following any light reaching his unfocused eyes. And Hinata especially hated his fit lungs struggling through breaths that came out raspy and weak through his aching throat.
Nothing good came from being sick. It was a lesson he learned long ago.
“You need to sleep,” you whispered against the crown of his head, your fingers carding gently through his sweaty locks. He nuzzled the tip of his nose against the cool skin at your collarbone while gripping your shirt at your shoulder.
Unfortunately, you were making it really hard for him to hate anything anymore.
“You’re going to get sick,” he pointed out, voice scratchy from his throat’s soreness.
You hummed dismissively, planting a small kiss on the top of his head. “My immune system’s pretty strong.”
Hinata knew it didn’t work that way, but was too selfish to argue your flawed logic. The bare skin of your neck helped chill his overheated forehead and he cuddled ever closer into you, twining your legs together. He wrinkled his nose when he realized how gross his fever was probably making him.
He’d have to wash your sheets and stuff when he was feeling better.
“I wish I could kiss you,” he pouted.
“That one’s gonna have to wait,” you chuckled lightly, beginning to rub soothing circles into his lower back. The vibrations from your voice sent a pleasant shiver down Hinata’s spine and the corners of his lips lifted. “You know, you’ll get better faster if you sleep.”
“But I wanna stay awake with you,” Hinata whined, lazily beginning to trace designs on your shoulder. The world was so cruel.
“I’ll be here when you wake up,” you said, barely above a whisper. Hinata grumbled a nonsense of a response and you chuckled lightly. You fell silent for a long enough period that Hinata began believing you fell asleep before him until you asked, “can I tell you a secret?”
“Yeah,” Hinata yawned, snuggling against your chest. “I love secrets.”
Silence enveloped his apartment again and Hinata almost dozed off.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
He blinked himself back to consciousness while the words rolled over in his mind. He froze. The fast paced rhythm of your heart was the only source available to keep him grounded as his foggy brain worked to unpack your words.
Love?
He glanced up to meet your nervous eyes paired with flushed cheeks. He stared in disbelief while you continued to patiently wait for his reaction. This better not be some sort of fever induced hallucination.
“No one’s ever said that to me before,” he said, eyebrows creased. Aside from his mom and Natsu, obviously, but he figured you’d know what he meant.
The corner of your mouth lifted into a hopeful half-smile. “Well, I’m honored.” Your touch was gentle as you brushed the hair back from his forehead. He subconsciously leaned into your touch with a wondrous stare and his eyes scoured your face for his answer.
Except you were the answer.
“I’ve never been in love before, but…” He struggled for the right words-any words-settling on what he could piece together at the moment. “I feel like things are better when you’re here. Like, I can do anything I hope to and more. I just feel happier when I’m with you and it’s easier and everything makes sense…” He wrinkled his nose. “Is… is that love?”
You cradled his fevered cheeks tenderly. “I think that’s for you to decide Hinata.”
He nodded to himself. “Okay,” he said determinedly. “Then yeah. It is, I love you, (Y/N).”
“I’m glad,” you smiled, looking at him with an affectionate stare that set his heart ablaze. He took a deep breath before disappointedly letting his forehead drop to your chest.
“Fuck, I want to kiss you so bad.”
You let out a bubble of laughter, rubbing your thumbs tenderly against his cheeks. “We’ll make up for it plenty when you’re feeling better.”
He tried to hold back a smirk, but failed. “Fine.”
“Now go to sleep,” You ordered, planting a quick peck to the top of his head.
He grumbled half-assed as he situated himself more comfortably, but Hinata was all talk at this point. His eyelids were heavy with sleep and his heart hummed with contentment. He was in love. A smile dusted his lips as he began drifting off.
Maybe being sick wasn’t so bad after all.
*******************************************************************************************
You narrowed your eyes suspiciously at your boyfriend across the couch chowing down on take-out sushi. Hinata’s eyes were glued to the television’s screen, his hand alternating between shoveling food into his mouth and rubbing mindless circles on your shin across his lap. Things were comfortable, easy, perfect some might even say.
Too perfect.
“Why aren’t we fighting?”
Hinata turned, cheeks stuffed with food and eyebrows raised with surprise. Under normal circumstances you’d consider it adorable, but you wanted to be serious.
He swallowed with a wince before raising an eyebrow. “Did something happen?”
“No, but we’ve been dating for a while and we haven’t had the big fight.”
“We fight all the time,” he placed his plate on the coffee table with a roll of his eyes. You huffed because he clearly wasn’t on the same page. “Just yesterday I was pissed because you left an empty container of milk in my fridge.”
“It wasn’t empty.”
“There was a dribble. That’s not enough for-” He put up a hand and took a breath. “Not the point. Point is: we fought right?”
“That was hardly a discussion.” You waved him off. He had angrily brought it up, you kissed him sorry, and he forgave you. Hinata didn’t know how to hold a grudge and all you had to do was buy him more milk.
“Okay, a few weeks ago then. You fell in the toilet because I forgot to put the seat down.” He nodded confidently. “You woke me up in the middle of the night for that one.”
You shuddered at the memory of being shocked into full consciousness by falling into a pool of your own piss. In your shocked state you may have chosen violence and decided to pick a fight with Hinata at three in the morning, but it was well deserved.
“Okay, but that’s not what I mean.”
“Are you sure?” He raised a brow. “Waking up with my girlfriend on top of me and slowly realizing she’s threatening to end my bloodline kind of feels like a fight.”
“Okay, that’s-” You pinched the bridge of your nose and ignored his amused smirk. “I’m talking about relationship ruining fights.”
He tilted his head, clearly not following you.
“Like, you insult me using some secret I’ve only divulged to you and I leave crying with no self-esteem.” You explained with exaggerated hand gestures and his nose wrinkled. “Or I walk in on you having an explicit affair with Kageyama, or maybe you get drunk and I over hear you talking with-”
He put both his hands up, “back it up. What the hell was that last one?”
“An explicit affair?” You blinked a few times and cocked your head to the side. “With… Kageyama?”
“Yeah that’s what I-we’re gonna unpack that later.” He palmed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Anyway, why would any of this happen?”
“Because that’s what always happens.” You answered honestly. Maybe you sounded like a pessimist, but that was just the reality of the world. At least, you had never seen it work any other way. “So just… tell me how it’s going to happen.”
Hinata looked crestfallen at your statement and the dejected look in his eyes made your heart sink to your stomach. You closed your eyes, waiting for him to question your sanity, but was taken back when he crawled forward to rest his head on your chest.
“If I ever hurt you like that,” he mouthed against your collarbone. “I would never forgive myself.”
Your heart raced and you brought a hand to card through his unruly locks, nodding to acknowledge his words.
“Don’t overthink,” he said, kissing your neck softly. “If we’re good then we’re good. Maybe that’s just how it’s meant to be.”
Your lips curved into a small smile and you nodded again. You let yourselves just exist with him for a while. Heart’s beating in unison while you twirled tufts of autumn through your fingers. His lips dusting across your neck as he whispered loving affirmations against you. And maybe he was right.
Maybe it was just meant to be.
*******************************************************************************************
Hinata moved expertly around his kitchen preparing breakfast, sneaking glancing at you perched drowsily beside the stove adorning one of his larger shirts. Obviously it wasn’t the first time he’d seen you like that-hair mussed, eyes heavy with sleep, in only his clothes-but it still warmed his heart when you existed so casually in space. Like you belonged there.
His lips curved into a smile as he cracked several eggs into a heated frying pan. The dull thudding of your heels hitting a cupboard mixed with the sizzling on the pan for the background of your comfortable silence. Even without conversation his life felt brighter in your presence and he was thankful his apartment was such a convenient location for the both of you.
You yawned deeply, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and finally focusing on him. Hinata selfishly wished you could be with him more often. The days he woke up without you were the coldest.
“What are you staring at?” You slurred with another yawn.
Hinata shot you a lopsided grin, “my beautiful girlfriend.”
You side-eyed him with an amused smirk, “kiss ass.”
Hinata slid the eggs onto a couple plates before going to stand in front of you. You raised a curious brow, but weren’t given enough time to voice a question before he pressed his lips to yours. His mouth curved into a smile against yours-another reason he loved you being here so often was it meant more of this.
Your hands cradled his face as he appreciated that you still tasted like mint from his borrowed toothpaste this morning. Another subtle way he’d nudged himself into your life he realized, toying with the bottom of his shirt you were wearing.
“What’s this for?” You asked, sliding your hands over his shoulders and hooking them behind his neck.
“I just love you,” he replied earnestly. Your fingers laid a scorching touch as they teased the baby hairs on his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. Hinata took his time with languid kisses-he could kiss you a million times and the hunger for more would always linger.
Your breaths were heavy when you pulled back to place your forehead against his, eyeing him with pure affection that set his heart ablaze. “I love you too, Shoyo.”
He trailed his knuckles down your cheek and relished in the way you leaned into his touch. How had he gotten this luck? Hinata placed a tender kiss on your forehead, temple, cheekbone, tip of your nose, and finally on your lips.
“You should move in.”
Hinata’s eyes widened in shock at his own question because that had been the last thing he’d planned on doing this morning. Well, the suggestion was out there and it’s not like he wanted to take it back...
You blinked several times as you processed. “With you?”
“Ideally.”
You furrowed your brow while mulling it over and Hinata counted his heartbeats to stay grounded. Worst case scenario you say no and things are awkward for a bit. Best case scenario he takes a large step forward with the love of his life.
Oh god, he should’ve planned this better.
“Okay.”
“I understand,” Hinata sighed. “It was totally random and I shouldn’t have expected-did you say yes?”
“Yeah,” your cheeks flushed and you bit your bottom lip to fight down a smile. “I mean, I’m here most of the time anyway, right?”
Hinata nodded mindlessly before a face splitting grin covered his features and he scooped you off the corner. You squealed while he spun you around with a bright laugh, interrupting any of your comments with a passionate kiss. While you were busy tangling your fingers into his unruly hair he glanced toward his bedroom’s door.
There was probably enough time to celebrate.
*******************************************************************************************
“She’s beautiful,” you said in awe, cradling the swaddled newborn in your arms. She was sleeping soundly, tiny breaths leaving her partly open mouth. The baby looked too fragile for this world, features too small and delicate to be realistic.
She was amazing.
“Well, she’s our daughter,” Tanaka’s chest puffed up proudly. He sat beside Shimizu on her hospital bed with an arm hung loosely around her. “Obviously she’s going to be perfect.”
You wouldn’t fight his dramatics; he deserved to be happy today.
“What’s her name?” Hinata breathed. Seated beside you he leaned heavily against your side to observe the baby.
“Sayori,” Shimizu yawned. She and Tanaka had deep bruises under their eyes, and you smirked knowingly down at the sleeping demon in disguise.
Hinata hesitantly moved his hand toward Sayori before planting it back on his lap. You raised a brow, reaching over with the hand not helping cradle Sayori’s head and grabbed his forefinger. Hinata looked at you panicked, but relaxed as you guided him toward Sayori’s small fist that pressed gently against her pink cheeks.
When she instinctively wrapped her fingers around his forefinger his eyes widened and he whipped his gaze to you. “She grabbed my finger,” he whispered.
“They do that,” you smirked, a frenzy of butterflies attacking your stomach as he stared at Sayori wondrously.
“That’s amazing.”
“Okay, stop using my kid as a way to feed your baby fever.” Tanaka huffed. Shimizu elbowed him in the stomach and a warmth trickled up your face when his words hit you.
“What’s a baby fever?” Hinata asked, raising an eyebrow at you. “Is it dangerous?”
“No,” you stumbled over a reply that wouldn’t make the situation incredibly awkward. “It’s when you, uh, want kids.”
“Oh,” Hinata shrugged, bouncing his finger to play with Sayori’s hand. “What’s wrong with eventually wanting kids?”
“That’s not-”
“No, it means you want a kid now.” Tanaka emphasized by smacking the hospital bed. “Like, go home immediately and make a baby level now.”
Hinata blinked a few times before his face lit up red, “oh.”
You nodded awkwardly and both of you remained quiet while Shimizu chastised Tanaka in the background. One of you should probably deny the baby fever thing… right? You glanced over to Hinata, but his eyebrows were furrowed as he stared intently at Sayori.
“Okay, Sayori needs to eat soon, so I’m kicking Hinata out.” Tanaka announced.
Hinata didn’t put up any fights and you passed Sayori back to Shimizu, making plans to see each other again soon. You offered your services for future babysitting with Hinata’s vigorous agreeing behind you and they were more than grateful for it. Regardless Tanaka shooed you out when Sayori began wriggling in Shimizu’s arms.
As you and Hinata made your way to the metro that would bring you to your apartment complex the air between you was heavy. An obvious awkwardness that was harder to ignore the longer you walked together.
“I’m not surprised their baby ended up looking so cute,” you laughed, filling the space with nervous chatter. “Shimizu is really pretty.”
He nodded, looking up at the cloudless sky thoughtfully. “Do you think our baby would be cute?”
Your heart rate quickened at the idea. It wasn’t like you’d never thought of it, but talking about it outloud was a completely different monster. “I think it would have pretty great genes.”
He nodded, furrowing his brow at the sidewalk ahead.
Hinata wasn’t an idiot. Neither of you were ready for something like that. Several nights ago you’d decided to get drunk and attempt making meat buns-you’d nearly set the kitchen on fire. That doesn’t scream parent material.
On a larger scale, Hinata had just been selected for Japan’s Olympic team. There just wasn’t time for something like that. No, a baby wasn’t realistic.
However...
“What’s our apartment’s pet policy?”
He turned to you with a raised brow, “probably an extra fee and a weight limit. Why?”
You smirked mischievously at him, “want to get a dog?”
His jaw dropped. “Oh my fu-can I name it?”
“Only if I get to pick the breed.”
“Well then, what are you waiting for?” Hinata grasped your hand and yanked you toward the closest metro station. “Look up the closest pet store and let’s go!”
You chuckled, allowing him to pull you toward a random station that probably wouldn’t lead you where you needed. It would work out in the end. Things always seemed to fall perfectly into place with HInata.
*******************************************************************************************
Hinata glared across the roll of wrapping paper at the small puppy crushing the end of the tube, tearing edges of red and white striped paper with its sharp teeth. Hinata tugged it out of the pup’s mouth, but that only encouraged the behavior as it leapt forward to chew with more vigor.
“Can you grab your son?” Hinata waved the roll around, letting the Shiba Inu chase the end that Hinata held just out of reach. “He’s making this more difficult than it needs to be.”
You paused your typing at the dining table and giggled at Hinata’s antics. After closing the laptop you jogged over to scoop the puppy up, flipping him over in your arms to rub its belly. The puppy let its tongue hang out and wagged its tail vigorously at the attention.
“Oh, Deku, are you giving your dad a hard time,” you cooed down at the puppy, lifting him to look him in the eyes with a furrowed brow. “That’s not very nice.”
Hinata rolled his eyes fondly at your pathetic attempt of scolding while Deku licked you on the nose. Just several months old and he already knew how to manipulate people with his cuteness.
“I bought our bullet train tickets,” you said while nudging him the roll of tape he’d started looking around for. “Natsu called me earlier. We decided that you and I should get there around 3.”
Hinata tore a piece of tape off with his teeth while he held the wrapping paper still around the boxed pair of rollerskates with his foot.
“We have to stop by Tanaka’s place before we head out,” Hinata wrinkled his nose at his poor wrapping job. “Noya’s visiting for a while and he wants to meet Deku.”
“Of course,” you smiled as you held a chew toy above Deku’s face so he could nibble on it in your lap. “We have some presents for Sayori, anyway.”
Oh yeah. You had split the present wrapping in terms of difficulty, so you had the pleasure of wrapping weirdly shaped toys while he was left with boxes. Somehow, his still turned out to be a disaster.
He could hear Natsu’s complaints already.
“The train doesn’t leave till one, so we should have plenty of time.” You stated once Hinata taped the final present, completing his small present tower. Deku wriggled himself free from your grip and immediately attacked the empty wrapping paper roll.
Hinata smiled absentmindedly as he watched Deku hold the tube still with his small paws as he gnawed the cardboard. He felt you crawl over, lying your head onto his lap as your eyes followed his to watch your dog-son together. He felt at peace, running his fingers through your hair while Deku wreaked mischief nearby.
He felt like he could never get happier than this, and he never wanted it to end.
“He really is a troublemaker,” you snorted as Deku dragged the tube across the living room proudly. “Gets it from you.”
Hinata rolled his eyes and pinched your cheek. “It’s because you let him do whatever he wants.”
“Do not!”
He chuckled, taking his time tracing your features. The curve of your cheekbones, the dip of your lips, the bridge of your nose-everything he’d kissed into his memory by now but still couldn’t get enough of.
Hinata’s heart burned bright as he ran his knuckles along your cheek, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” You smiled softly, leaning subconsciously into his touch.
“I mean… I really love you, (Y/N).” Hinata grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips. “I think this is it.”
You met his stare for several moments before your cheeks reddened. “Oh.”
Hinata nodded, pressing a loving kiss to the back of your hand. “I just-I always want you with me and if it’s not you in the end then… then what’s the point?”
Your mouth fell slightly open and he felt your hand flex in his grasp. He assumed he made a mistake-said too much too fast-but his chest was so warm and full and it was hard to reign in his emotions when he got that way.
A smile blossomed across your face and it eased his anxieties when you held his cheek. “You’re it for me too, Sho.”
He blinked several times as the words rolled over in his mind. “Wha-really?” He twisted himself so he could look you in the eyes, begging for you to be telling the truth.
You nodded shyly, your face crimson. “Yeah. You have been. I’m not… I don’t think I’d be able to love anyone else ever again.”
It felt like he’d been hit by a train at your confession and he pressed his mouth against yours before he’d even processed the statement. Your content hum against his lips was enough to drive him insane.
“Well, I’m going to love you forever.” Hinata promised with a dopey smile. “So don’t even think about that.”
You snorted, but nodded anyway. Hinata glanced down at your lips again with hooded eyes and started leaning forward, but was rudely interrupted by a damp cardboard tube hitting his forehead.
He glanced up exhaustedly at the Shiba Inu puppy panting obliviously at the both of you, waiting patiently for the love and attention he knew he deserved. You pushed Hinata off to grab Deku, but he jumped into a play bow and jolted back when you reached for him.
Hinata smiled dazedly as you chased Deku around the apartment, juking around furniture to attempt to throw the puppy off-course. He had never felt so complete than he had in that moment because he realized that this was it for him.
It was you. It was him. It was a troublemaker dog. And it was a promise that you’d be together forever.
And that was pretty damn perfect.
312 notes · View notes