#treat it… kind of like a bridge towards better things to come!

[llovehymn]

Heartstrings

Chapter 2: Ratau

After reviving from their untimely death, the Lamb has stumbled into the Darkwood alone. After meeting a mysterious rat they find themself with very few options left; trust this complete stranger or fail to bring their family back.

However, the forest hides danger under every gnarled root.

WORD COUNT: 5865

mind the tags!

[mehiwilldoitlater]

You trusted him. 

When Wukong presented Liu Er Mihou to you, you knew that he was just another eye on you. The only one that he could trust to leave alone with you, knowing that he would never do anything to harm you or to take you away from him. A jailer to guard you.

You kept your guard; you treated him more like he wasn't there, a shadow that was following you, following the natural rule of the sun.

You wanted, but then what had changed? Maybe the fact that he had kept his mouth shut with Wukong about the insults that you had spoken about him, that he had allowed you more alone time than everyone ever did. Maybe it was the fact that, in your most downtime, he was there, holding you, whispering sweet things in your ears, promising you that things would have gone better. Maybe you just wanted someone who didn't force himself on you, a good ear that could listen to your sorrow, a shoulder to cry on; in any case, you opened up to him. You started to believe in him, trust him.

You trusted him more than you could trust your judgment.

"I can take you away from here." His voice calm, serene almost, his hand raised towards you, an invitation.

You held your breath. Was that a test? No, no, he would never...

"Far...far, far away from here...from him... wouldn't you like that?"

His voice so sweet, his offer was everything that you could ask for. 

You trusted him; that's why you took his hand.

///

While running through the forest, your mind was spiraling like a storm.

You were running away, Freedom. Just up ahead.

He had asked you more than once if you were sure, if you were really strong enough to do that. You were, you wanted nothing more than to finally be free. Free from this life that you haven't asked for, from a love that you didn't want, and from Wukong.

He never questioned himself; like you, he had run straight ahead. You wondered, did he care for you enough to risk himself for your own happiness? You wanted to believe that. That's why you never looked back, not once.

You knew that as soon as Wukong found out about your disappearance, he would immediately run to your rescue, but you didn't want to think about that, not when you finally found someone that truly wanted your happiness.

Then, the last threshold, the last line between you and your refound freedom: the bridge. A cliff that separated the Land of the Handsome Monkey King from the rest of the world; a few more meters and you would be out from his kingdom. It wasn't that far from him, but for you it was farther than you had ever been from him in the last months. You never believed that an old bridge made of ropes and wood could make you this happy.

"One last chance," he whispered to you, his thumb caressing your hand. "You can turn back now... And avoid everything that can come After this ..."

He looked at you, searching for any kind of fear and rethinking.

"..." You stepped ahead; the idea of staying alongside that demon another second was enough to convince you of your decision.  The cracking and the lamento of the wood never sounded so BEAUTIFUL in your ears, and after a few steps, Mihou followed you in silence. Was he afraid, just as you? Maybe, you couldn't know. What you did know was just how much the world was so big without Wukong around, how closer to your real life it was!

Crossed the bridge, a few steps away, out from the bushes, out from the tree line, and-

"You took your sweet time, huh?"

The small cup of wine clattered with the nude stone when he posed it down, but in your Heard It was like a thousand thunders. Your eyes glued on him, sitting on that rock with a gourd full of wine and an annoyed look on his face, and even now you felt like he was throwing daggers at you.

You took a few steps back, feeling the ground start to fade under your feet, the air in your lungs stuck in a bubble for the terror that was moving in your veins. 

How?! How did he find out?! Why did he look so calm?! He was never that calm; why was he just sitting there, drinking like nothing had happened?! You wanted to reach for Mihou's hand, holding It is to find some courage; maybe you could still run; maybe together you could—

"Yeah, sorry for that." He dismissed your hand, moving forward. "But I wanted to see if she had some rethinking."

...what?

A second cup was there, waiting for him, which he gladly took to ease his throat from the run. He had the same look as Wukong, but...now, with a better look, that wasn't an annoyed glare...that was disappointment?

They were disappointed in you...and with that, the confusion started to disappear; a realization came like a heavy rain: they planned this...they both planned this. That was some sort of test...

Mihou never wanted you to leave; he wanted to test you. Every time he wanted to see if you really wanted to leave, it was just a way to let you go back and forgive your escape attempt. He tested you, and you failed... you failed...

You turn around, bolting away; you could still manage!  You still couldn't run, escape! With enough luck, just fast enough, you could still see it!  Your Life! Your own life!

But, as soon as you reached a few trees, the painful feelings of your head crushing on the ground completely shattered every small hope that you had been so stubbornly trying to keep light. The painful feeling on your forehead could not compare to what you were feeling in your mind in that moment.

You tried to move away, to break free, but a pair of strong hands had completely pinned you down on the ground. You tried to speak, but you were too afraid to say anything at all. The only sound you could emit was a loud sob, a sign of an imminent crying that they faced just like a child tantrum.

"Don't you dare cry now," the king hissed. "You can blame no one but yourself."

///

There was no punishment when you headed back, which it was, in its own way, quite unusual. But that didn't mean that you weren't utterly terrified of what was happening.

For several days, Wukong never spoke or even dared to enter your cell, that elegant and rich room that served you as a golden cage. You thought that he wanted to isolate you, making you crave some contact, but yet some of his monkeys were allowed to come but to never let you out...

Maybe he wanted to starve you; instead, food came. Maybe he was preparing another of his own special punishments, something just for you... but nothing came, and your sanity was on a string.

Knowing that something had to come prepared you, not knowing, instead, led you to wondering, guessing, and fearing the outcome and what was going to happen. The anxiety, the spiraling of your own nightmares, there was not a single hour in which you didn't pray for something to happen.

After two long weeks of wondering until you had almost chewed your fingernails to the bone, the creak, and white fur came into your vision.

Mihou...

You wanted to scream at him, being angry, but you feared only aggravating what had to happen, so you stayed still, sitting near the window, the taste of your blood in your mouth.

He came closer, looking at your sorry state....fear does have its own way on people, he thought. He crouched down; a small whimper from you gave him the confirmation that you were still aware of your surroundings.

"...You're hurting yourself; you need to stop."

You stopped, registering his words. He had shown some care for you after what had happened...

Suddenly your hand left your mouth to meet his face, but the smack stopped midair when his own had grasped yours before you could hit him. Your eyes, enraged, meet his calm and collected ones, still with that annoyed glare of an adult.

He had lied to you; all that time it was a lie. He had always worked for Wukong; how could you be so naive to fall for his fake kindness?!

"Look at you...you're such a mess...did you realize what happened?"

"You BETRAYED me!"

"No, I was stating a point to my king. You're the liar one; you betrayed his love for you."

You gritted your teeth, moving your arm to free it from his grip, even if he was literally doing nothing to you.

You never lied, because there was no love to lie about. He was just messing with you! You didn't want to hear him, not after all the trust that he had broken.

"Can't you see? Look at you! Did Wukong ever do things that were made to hurt you?"

"Shut up!"

"You're the one that is so desperately trying to run away! To get away from a life that could be nothing but perfect!"

"I don't want to hear you!"

"You said that he had hurt you; since when had he ever crossed your face, huh?! He can be rash; I CAN BE RUTHLESS; it's in our nature, but WHEN did he ever want to hurt you just to do that?"

You stopped moving, too tired, too afraid to listen but incapable of not doing that.

"He had never wanted to hurt you; you did. You hurt yourself because you were too stubborn to accept him! ...You can still change that...."

Your muscle relaxed, he took that chance to take your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him, to face him. How could such a cruel creature have such a gentle face?

"Just accept him...accept me...and it can be different. You can have all the love that no one will ever have; you don't have to hate us or fear us."

His voice was like a poisonous honey, sweet and dangerous.

"Accept us... it's easier..."

And then...everything broke. Your voice erupted in a strong and painful cry, and when he hugged you, hushing you, you didn't scoff him away; you held him closer to you. You were tired, tired of being afraid, of resisting, of feeling everything as a torture. You didn't want your freedom; you didn't want a life at all. You just wanted to stop hurting.

You couldn't see his wicked smile, savoring the fact that his and Wukong's plan finally worked. 

When he saw you the first time, Wukong immediately saw that gleam of wanting, the same one that he had, but oh, he was so possessive. The idea of sharing you with the macaque was enough to send him into a full rage, but even if he despised him, he did accept his counsel. Liu Er Mihou came out with a plan to become the one closer to you and make you finally accept Sun Wukong as your lover. The price?

You, alongside him.

And, even if the price despised the king, the result was quite satisfying.

((@phoenixeclipse-lmkau , yup, she gave me idea and staff to do. It came to me and refused to leave))

[cyberkitty1]

pt 2/2 of the crybaby reader x earth42 Miles Morales

MAJOR MAJOR spoilers!! read with caution.

i said tomorrow night but I worked my butt off to get it done today!!

Aaron makes his way to Miles and room not even bothering to knock, I mean why would he? He just watched his nephew make his own girlfriend who would do anything for him cry. He was beyond furious.

“So now we are just going around making people cry?” Miles smirks at him “man I am literally the prowler? all i make people do is cry and beg for their life” he says almost laughing.

Aaron sighs pinching the bridge of his nose.” you are not supposed to let your job interfere with your normal life, you know that. Now you’re chasing your girl, the girl your supposed to love away? are you serious?”

Miles looks at him annoyed “ why wouls you care all she ever does is cry, shes happy she cries, shes mad she cries, shes sad she cries, man even when shes bored she cries. its annoying” he says holding his face in his hands.

Aaron walks to the bed and sits next to him. He’s never been put in this situation so he doesn’t know what to say. “ you’re dad was a lot better doing this than i ever was.” Miles visibly stiffens, this was the first time he’s brought up his dad since his funeral.

“ Miles I know you have been through a lot, more then i ever will but that doesn’t give you a reason to act that way towards her, she only wants whats best for you and she loves you with everything shes got. I would kill for a person like that to be in my life. I know you reacted like this because you feel you don’t have anyone to talk to but i’m always here man you know this.”

He wrapped an arm around his shoulder.” So don’t be taken your anger out on your girl she just loves you ok?” Miles sighs realizing, he was way to harsh in you you shouldn’t have been ignoring you and now he feels like a fool.

“ Yea, ill talk to her tomorrow” Aaron smiles, “ good I don’t need the only person who can get you to open up gone, now do i?” he says laughing a bit.

* Next Morning *

You didnt get a wink of sleep that night you where thinking about all the things you could have done to upset him that much. You werent mad just confused, confused as to why he would react that way. Of course you will still love him but this still hurt.

You were lost in thought when you realize someone texted you, it was Miles? You wasted no time to open it.

miles. can you come over later today?

you. yea

miles. dress comfortable

you were nervous, was he breaking up with you? You had no idea what to expect with how you guys left everything yesterday there was many directions this could go.

Hours later ( im lazy )

You got ready and made your way over to his place. Knocking on the door he answered “hola cariño ven conmigo” he helped you in with a warm smile taking your hand. Shutting the door behind you he led you into his bedroom sitting you down on his bed. He stood looking at you kind of nervous? he started:

“Voy a decir esto en español para que todo salga bien. Te amo mucho y siento mucho haberte tratado de una manera que nunca te mereces. Lamento haberte hecho llorar y haberte hecho sentir que hiciste algo mal. Todo lo que haces es amarme y tratarme bien, pero yo te traté como si no me importara. Y por eso lo siento mucho y espero que lo encuentres en tu corazón para perdonarme.”

(I'm going to say this in Spanish so that everything goes well. I love you very much and I am so sorry that I treated you in a way that you never deserve. I'm sorry I made you cry and made you feel like you did something wrong. All you do is love me and treat me right, but I treated you like I didn't care. And for that I am very sorry and I hope that you find it in your heart to forgive me.)

You waited and listened to him through and through and when he was done you spoke. “ Miles I will forever love you, you know that. I know that you are going through something but why didn’t you tell me? why don’t you talk to me? why wont you let me in?” you said holding his hands.

“No quería que pensaras menos en mí, que me consideraras débil.” You look at him sympathetically “ Miles I would never, never ever think of you as weak ok? Whenever you need me I will be there with you, I love you miles so much.” and with that, you were crying.

(“I didn't want you to think less of me, to consider me weak.”)

“mi princesa por favor no llores odio cuando lloras” he said wiping your tears away “ I know and i’m sorry that i’m always crying about everything i know it annoys you” you say sniffling. He feeling you pulling at his heart strings, feeling the worse he has felt since his father’s passing.

("My princess please don't cry I hate when you cry"’)

“ahora me tienes a punto de llorar mami, te quiero mucho y me arrepiento de haberte dicho que te encontré una llorona. Nunca debí haberte dicho eso, eres mi todo, ¿lo sabías? Debería disculparme contigo, lamento haberte tratado de esa manera, ¿me perdonarías?” He said with tears in his eyes.

(“Now you have me about to cry mommy, I love you very much and I regret having told you that I found you a crybaby. I never should have told you that, you are my everything, you know that? I should apologize to you, I'm sorry I treated you that way, would you forgive me?")

You held his face looking into his eyes with so much adoration. “ Miles I will forever love you, I forgive you, I will forgive you ten times over.” You said resting your head on his. After a few minutes he wipes his tears saying “ I forgot I wanted you to watch a movie with me if you forgave me.” You smile at him giving him a kiss.

“ Thank you Miles,i appreciate it all.” he sighs “ Ma, stop saying stuff like that I need to be saying sorry to you” he says looking you in your eyes.

And with that he sits on his bed back against the headboard with you tucked into his side, eating snacks and watching your favorite movies.

( this or this )

He suddenly turns to you and says “te amo mas que la cantidad de estrellas en el cielo” he says looking into your eyes. You turn to him resting your hand ok his face, hearing your voice that sounds like honey.

("I love you more than the number of stars in the sky")

“yo tambien te amo mi principe”

( "I love you too my prince")

Part 3 of the earth 42 Miles spoiling you will be done as soon as I can 🙏🏾

A/n: overlook the fact that i spelt honey as hunny 😔 ( its changed now)

[ghosts-bandwagon]

did i hear konig... can you do an unrequited love with konig. maybe the reader already has a partner (ghost? soapy? someone else?) and konig wishing it was him getting to be with the reader instead... i love watching my faves suffer.

I love your mind anon 🤩 (for maximum effect, I recommend listening to this song- it’s the one I was using to write this 😭)

It’s not often that KorTac and the 141 work together, but the handful of times that it happened were always a treat. Despite everyone else’s complaints. You always managed to make it an enjoyable experience, you’d wind up acting as a mediator between the two teams, even though no one asked you to. You’d always be the first one to step in between König and Ghost when they’d start to let their differences get the better of them. It was amazing watching you stand in between the two mountains, gently shoving both of them away from one another. Despite being a lower rank than him, your presence commanded as much respect as Ghost’s.

It’s part of what made König gravitate towards you, so whenever your teams would work together he’d start to interact with you only. Even though your jobs were demanding, taxing, and draining on the best days, you still found a way to laugh it off. And god your laugh was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard, like wind chimes on a soft breezy summer day, it brought him so much peace to hear you. You were so kind and openly loving of your team. When Soap and Ghost came back from a rough mission, you took them both in your arms. Soap returned the embrace with eyes shut and full of emotion, Ghost patted your back and pulled away. You didn’t care, you were just grateful to have them back.

And then you turned to König after Soap shuffled off to his room, you walked up to him and rubbed his arm, hesitant to embrace him, unsure of his comfort levels. He leaned into your touch and you took it as permission, so you got on your toes and wrapped your arms around him. He leaned down and snaked his own around your smaller form, committing to memory the way you fit against him.

“Forget it. Keep pressing on.” You murmured in his ear, he squeezed you a little tighter and took a deep breath, the scent of your shampoo embedding deep in his mind. He straightened up, and wondered how someone who saw the same carnage as he did could still be so good.

“Thank you, schatz.” His voice felt like wind blowing through a crack, he was winded but in the best ways. You smiled softly at him and rubbed his arm one more time before pulling away and walking in the direction of your lieutenant. Every time he’s seen you and interacted with you, he falls deeper and deeper down the hole, he’s in the palm of your hand and he wonders if you’re even aware.

It’s when he’s on his way to the showers that he heard it. Soft voices filtering through a crack in the door, and one that sounded an awful lot like yours. He loved everything about you and anything to do with you, so naturally he looked through the crack and sure enough he saw you and Ghost.

“I can’t have you out there.” He argued,

“It’s not up to you, Simon, how the hell am I supposed to do my job if you’re going to be freaking out anytime we’re on the field together?” You were sat at his desk, legs swinging as you watched him pace back and forth,

Simon?

“Fuck. I know.” His head dropped, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. König watched as you walked towards him, your hands coming up to his chest, slowly sliding under the fabric of his balaclava,

“I need you to trust me, Si.” Your voice was low, your fingers gently moving the fabric up and over his mouth, resting it at the bridge of his nose. König couldn’t see the exposed skin on account of you blocking his view,

Wait.

“It’s not you I don’t trust, you know that.” He sighed, his hands rested on your hips, holding you against him, “I can’t promise I’ll keep you safe.”

Hold on.

“Well I trust you. Besides, I’ll be with König. I trust him.” You reasoned, Ghost rested his forehead against yours,

“Just be careful, love, please. For me.” He begged, his voice desperate and sad.

“Always.” You were so gentle, just as you always were.

And you did the unthinkable. You leaned up on your toes, just like you had when you hugged König not too long ago, and pressed your lips against his. König felt sick. He wanted to scream but he knew better. He quietly stepped away, feeling like he was stuck in place, struck by lightning and frozen with ice. His blood ran impossibly cold. He tasted iron in his mouth before he realized he bit a hole through his lower lip.

He never stood a chance, did he? He walked numbly towards the showers, the scene playing in his mind over and over again. And as he stood under the spray of cold water, he could only imagine the softness of your touch, the tips of your fingers gliding along Ghost’s cheek as you moved his mask away from his face, the warmth of you as you pressed yourself against him.

And then it all made sense. When you’d stand in between them, you’d always lean against Ghost just a little more. Your eyes always found his as soon as he entered the vicinity, and they always held a certain glimmer in them when Ghost would return your stare. It would probably explain why you so especially attuned to him, always aware of him and his quiet presence.

As his head hung in the shower, cold water suddenly not feeling cold enough, his heart broke in his chest. He felt bile rising up to his throat, he wanted to punch and kick and scream and beat the ever loving fuck out of Ghost. But then he’d lose you forever if he did. He’d just have to settle for your friendly embrace and the fact that you trusted him enough to look out for you. It would have to be enough, even if it never could.

[salmonskinrolltf]

The Grind

Todd really did enjoy working from home. He loved the perks of getting to roll right out of bed when his alarm went off, and he loved not being stuck in traffic every morning and evening on his commute. But recently, he was starting to feel like he couldn't focus. It was important to him to succeed at this job, so he could keep rising in the ranks at his ad agency, but there were too many distractions that weren't allowing him to prove himself: chores to do, food to eat, noise from his neighbors. Dear God, the noise!

The window of his home office opened right out onto the alley behind his apartment. It was summer, so he needed the windows open in order to snag that cross breeze and keep from boiling to death, but the teenage skaters that seemed to swarm the alley during summer break were out and about in full force.

He tapped his chin with his pen, trying to come up with a good word that a cat might use to describe the delicious new treats Todd's client was going to feed him, but he found himself distracted yet again by the noise from the skaters outside. He wondered how they didn't get bored, with their endlessly repetitive roster of lame-ass tricks that all sounded the same.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

Whirrrrrrr-thud

That's all Todd heard all day, over and over, with metronomic regularity. If he could harness one-tenth of the passion that these burnouts used when trying to learn ollies or whatever, he would be CEO within the week.

God, if only. He felt like he was working himself to the bone, with no results. A mighty headache was threatening to rear up and throttle his brain, too. He had been chugging Pedialyte, hoping to at least make it to the end of his shift. If he used even one sick day, he worried he'd seem like a slacker who wasn't committed.

OK, staring at his laptop screen wasn't working. He pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. Sometimes physically writing things down helped his creative juices flow. He tapped his pen on his chin with a maniacal rat-a-tat rhythm. It didn’t help. He sighed and hung his head in his hands. He just wanted to rise in the ranks. To get a better life for himself. Why was this so difficult?

Whirrrrrrr-thud

Todd tapped his pen on his chin more slowly. Was it just him, or were the skaters kind of perfectly timing their tricks? It sounded almost like the percussion on one of his favorite classical compositions. He strained to listen.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

Whirrrrrrr-thud

Yeah, there was definitely a meter to the noises, so precise that his brain felt like it could slot perfectly into them. He realized the predictability of the noise would be beneficial in terms of helping him ignore the skaters and focus back on work. As long as he internalized the rhythm, it would just fade into the background.

He pulled the paper toward him and began tapping with fresh vigor, trying to let the noise sink into the back of his brain.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

Whirrrrrrr-thud

The sound was still present, but it was already becoming more like a gentle hum he was only vaguely aware of.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

Whirrrrrrr-thud

That’s right. He felt the noise begin to flow through him. It was just like living in an apartment by the freeway, he thought. You can ignore any noise if it becomes familiar enough.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

Familiar… Familiar… Family! He scribbled on his notepad. “Your cat is a part of the family…” He sucked on the end of his pen. He couldn’t figure out what to put next, but it was a start. He stared at the paper for what felt like another ten minutes, continuously drawing a blank. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Fuck, that headache was building again. He knew he was only feeling bad because of stress, but how was he supposed to de-stress when he had a deadline? He stared at the paper intensely, willing words to appear on it.

Whirrrrrrr-THUD

A particularly loud thud jolted Todd out of his reverie. Fuck, he was getting jumpy. Maybe he should take a ten minute break. As soon as he figured out the end of this tagline. He sucked on the end of his pen once more, but as he did so, something weird happened. There must have been a hole in the clicker of his pen, because he felt it break open, releasing a hot, gaseous substance into his mouth.

He gasped in surprise, accidentally forcing the gas into his lungs, which began to feel like they were burning. He gave a panicky cough and a plume of smoke trailed weakly from his mouth. What the fuck? He closely inspected his pen, but everything looked totally normal. Perhaps the end was a little damp from him sucking on it. But he saw nothing that explained what had just happened to him.

The burning sensation still tickled his lungs, but it was quickly mellowing into something… something quite nice, actually. His toes felt a little tingly, and a sense of calm washed over him. He felt his muscles relax somewhat as he slumped back into his chair. His headache was even receding a bit. If he could get it to go away entirely, maybe he could finally finish…

Whirrrrrrr-thud

Yeah, fuck it. He was gonna try again. He put the end of the pen in his mouth and took another deep breath. Once more, the top of the pen opened up and expelled smoke, which he took into his lungs and held there, enjoying the warming sensation before blowing it out in a tight stream.

That’s the ticket. He felt the headache recede entirely. He finally felt well and truly relaxed. He flipped his hoodie up over his head and drew the drawstrings. Wait, he hadn’t been wearing a hoodie, had he? Fuck it, he didn’t care. He was now warm and cozy, inside and out. He felt better than he had in a long time.

But it was still too hot under the hood. It felt right to be wearing it, even in summer somehow, but he could feel sweat glistening on his forehead. He wiped it away with the back of his hand, but he still felt himself grow hotter and hotter, yet strangely lazy and unwilling to actually do something about it because he was SO relaxed.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

He began to sweat so much that his perfectly coiffed hair started to wilt, dangling down in front of his eyes. It then just… kept going. It extended down over his face to the point that he thought the sweaty strands might poke him in the eyes. His normal instinct would have been to sweep it back, but in his addled state, he instead gave a practiced flick of the head, gathering the hair at one side. The color began to change from a strawlike dirty blond, to brunette, to dark brown, to a black so concentrated it must have been dyed. But he never dyed his hair, had he? He liked being a natural blonde.

Fuck, it was SO hot. Why had he chosen to wear this hoodie? A memory blossomed of him putting it on that morning. Well, of course he had worn this hoodie. It was his favorite hoodie. He wore it every day, whatever the weather. Sure, he could do to wash it. It stank of sweat and pot smoke, but it was his and he loved it.

He needed to cool down something fierce, though. He made a move to pull the hoodie off from around his head, but his hands unconsciously ignored his intention, opting to flip up the collar of his open button-down instead. As he adjusted the collar to look perfectly mussed and careless, the material of the shirt turned coarse and thick as it became a battered denim jacket.

He was totally unaware that he hadn’t perfectly executed his plan, still feeling relaxed and a little fuzzy from his vape pen. That’s what it was, of course. A vape pen. He wasn’t sure why he'd thought it was an actual pen, like for writing. He chuckled softly. Suddenly, being confused about things felt like it came more naturally to him, somehow. At first, he was confused about that, but then he wasn’t. Being confused isn’t confusing, is it? Is that confusing? Shaking his head and laughing, he took another hit off his vape pen and blew a perfect smoke ring, letting the warm fuzziness flow through him.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

He decided to return to his brainstorming. Although he was hot and not entirely clear-headed, he felt a burst of creative energy all of a sudden. He began to scribble on the notepad, working furiously as sweat began to pool on his forehead once more. He only noticed when it began to trickle down his face, tickling his cheeks and dripping from his chin onto the page. He scrubbed his face with his hand, not noticing that, as he did so, the hairs of his neatly trimmed beard were wiped entirely away, vanishing into thin air.

As he continued to scribble, his newly clean-shaven face grew pockmarked and yet more youthful and supple at the same time. His mustache, the only thing unaffected, began to recede into his upper lip, slowly shrinking back until it was just a dotting of stubble that suggested he’d been trying to grow one out but this was as far as he ever got. As if to compensate, his eyebrows thickened, darkening to a deep brown that better matched (but not entirely) his new hair color. He didn’t even notice the dark black strands hanging down over his eyes anymore, or the careful flick of his head that he gave periodically when he needed to concentrate.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

The warmth around his head eventually made him feel sleepy and dull, and he couldn’t stop yawning. So, after a couple more minutes, he sat back and looked at the perfect tagline he’d been working on, only to realize that he’d just been doodling little cartoons all around the edge of the page instead of actually focusing on work.

“Dude, get a grip,” he said out loud. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Dude? Since when did he say dude?

He decided to take a break, cool down, and grab a Perrier sparkling water. Returning from his fridge with the green bottle, he unscrewed the cap and took a deep swig. His tongue was suddenly awash with the taste of sugary battery acid, and he had to fight not to spit it out. What the…?

He looked down and saw that he had accidentally grabbed a bottle of Mountain Dew, not Perrier. He didn’t remember buying Mountain Dew, but maybe his nephew had left one behind when he had come to visit last? He thought about going back to the fridge to swap out the drinks, but it suddenly seemed so far away. And now that he knew what flavor to expect, the taste wasn’t all that bad, actually.

He took another swig of the soda, the sugary concoction lighting up his insides.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

His skin began to feel itchy. Was he having an allergic reaction to the soda? He lifted up the hem of his hoodie and scratched at his stomach. As he did so, he felt the light blonde hairs of his treasure trail wriggling back into their follicles, leaving him perfectly smooth. What the fuck?

Finally, the shock of what he had just felt pierced his newfound love for the hoodie and he ripped it off, along with the denim jacket. He rushed into the bathroom, arriving in front of the mirror just in time to see his sparse blonde chest hair receding back into his skin. He ripped off his chinos as well, panicking as he saw the hairs on his legs vanishing into thin air. He did a quick 360 and checked in his underwear, noting that the only hair that remained on his entire body was his pubic hair and armpit hair, both of which seemed thicker than usual and were quickly darkening to a deep brown as though they were in a time-lapse video.

He watched this happen in horror, but even with his hoodie off, his head still felt warm and sleepy. His senses felt dulled, and he struggled to think of what he could possibly do next. He began to breathe faster in his panic, his belly jiggling slightly as he did so. Breathe. Jiggle. Breathe. Jiggle. Breathe… Nothing.

As he watched, his soft tummy had begun to recede as well, revealing cobblestone abs like the tide pulling out over a rock formation. His doughy chest began to firm up as well, shrinking into a pair of lean pecs, his round nipples shrinking and popping out from their perches on the hardened mounds as soon as they were finished forming.

“Holy shit, dude, I’m ripped!” he said, letting the slang tumble breezily out of his mouth without a second thought while he rubbed his abs with both hands. The ridges of his stomach made his fingers tingle and his arms shrank, lean muscles emerging from the surface while his legs followed suit, the thighs shrinking into the perfect fit for skinny jeans - where had that thought come from? - while his calf muscles rippled and stretched, their new bulging shape accentuated by his hairless, pale skin.

Whirrrrrrr-THUD

Todd felt the noise from the alley reverberate around his head. It sounded like someone out there must have fucked up a crooked grind real bad. ‘Gnarly,’ he thought, imagining how much pain they must be in. His mental image grew more and more clear and vivid. Somebody falling onto the asphalt on their elbows.

He felt a slash of pain across his elbows and held them up, seeing red in the mirror before it faded into a pair of scarred, scabbed patches that he felt like had always been there. He returned to his reverie. Somebody skinning their knee after narrowly avoiding hitting a tree. Another slash of pain and the skin on his knee suddenly looked knobbly, like it was still healing.

As potent mental images flitted one by one through his brain, scars and scrapes began to dot his body. Slash, slash. Two more long scars on the left knee. Slash. A long red scrape along his right pec that looked dope as hell. Slam. His palms became pockmarked and gravel-scraped.

Not even noticing the pain anymore as his skin toughened and ever-so-slightly tanned, he stood up straight to his full height, admiring the effect of his newfound musculature. He was too busy trying (and failing) to pop his skinny pecs to notice that his “full height” was a couple inches shorter than it used to be.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

The sound of the skaters outside brought him back to the present. Wasn't he supposed to be doing something, other than checking himself out in the mirror? He got dressed, throwing his hoodie and jacket back on. He could have sworn he’d been wearing a different pair of pants earlier, but all he found crumpled on the bathroom floor was his favorite pair of joggers. Oh well, he threw them on too.

He was halfway out the door when he remembered he was supposed to be doing something at home. Where the hell did he think he was going? He shook his head, trying to remember. He still felt sleepy and slow, his thoughts inching along as he tried to remember what he was supposed to be doing.

He reached into his pocket for his vape pen and realized he’d left it on his desk. His desk! That’s what he was doing! He was still on the clock! He needed to work!

He wandered over to his desk, took a drag from the vape, and stared in consternation at the notepad in front of him.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

He knew he was supposed to care about this dumb shit about cat food or whatever, but he really wasn’t feeling it. Something in the back of his mind told him that he’d get money if he finished it though, so he decided to give it a shot. He sat back in his chair and found himself falling, the chair’s seat vanishing beneath him. Before he hit the ground, however, he was caught with a soft flump in a squishy, slick mound.

He looked down and saw that he was in a beanbag chair. Something was wrong here. He could feel his brain slowly whirring. Was it the chair? No, it’s the one he’d brought from home when he moved in. He saw his initials carved crudely into the fabric on his right side.

What was wrong, then? Was it his desk? No, he didn’t have a desk, did he? He looked up and saw his entertainment unit in front of him, his XBOX still glowing green because he’d forgotten to turn it off earlier. No, all that looked normal.

So what was wrong? Was it the fact that he was worrying about money?

Whirrrrrrr-thud

His parents paid for whatever shit he wanted as long as he kept his community college grades up, so there was no need to worry.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

No need to worry at all, really. About anything. Or think, even. He barely ever went to class. He just wanted to hang with his friends at the skate park. But as long as he flirted with his professors the right way, he passed with flying colors. He was a studied flirt, even if he wasn’t a studied anything else.

Anyway, his parents would let him drop out once he proved he could make money as an X Games champion. He rubbed his dick through his joggers, not noticing as it plumped up a few extra inches while he fantasized about all the tail he’d get once he was a skateboarding champion with endorsement deals and shit.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

No, he had all the money he needed. He just wished he was 21 already, so he could buy weed for himself at the dispensary. Then everything would be perfect. Just two more years, he reminded himself. He could survive on stealing shit from his older brother's stash at home until then.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

Todd leaned back in the beanbag and reveled in that sound. His favorite sound. He loved it so much. He never wanted to stop hearing it. With his eyes closed, he didn’t notice the rest of the room change around him. The tasteful Pier One art being swapped out for posters of busty babes and retro Tony Hawk video games sloppily scotch taped onto the walls. The cream-colored couch he’d saved up for was now scuffed, stained orange in patches from crushed Cheeto dust, and stank of weed.

The wall that formerly held potted plants was now devoted to a rack of the sickest custom boards anyone had ever seen. Not that he’d made any of them, he didn’t have time for that shit. He just paid other people to bring his dope-ass ideas to life.

Whirrrrrrr-THUD

Todd was rubbing his dick absent-mindedly again and came in his underwear. Fuck. He hadn’t prematurely ejaculated in months, now. As he changed his underwear, leaving the cum-drenched boxers on the floor by the beanbag, he worried about doing that in front of a babe he wanted to score.

He needn’t have worried. Todd didn’t know it, but he would never have worries again. Inside that underwear, which would remain on the floor forgotten for the next two weeks, contained the last vestiges of his previous life, expelled through pure pleasure at the life he got to live now. What he left behind was a person he would never remember and who he would shudder to think had even existed in the first place.

No, he was destined for a dope life. In a clean pair of underwear and his favorite kicks, he wandered his way into the back alley, watching his friends Tate and Landon practicing tricks while offering them tips and taking a hit off his vape. The grind was over for Todd now, though that word already meant something entirely different to him at this point.

Whirrrrrrr-thud

[fazedlight]

Hero (Kara character study. Angsty but gets better.)

I can save this world.

Kara looked herself over in the mirror, her chest puffing in silent pride at the symbol that lay across it. I am the last daughter of the House of El, she thought to herself. I am the last daughter of Krypton, and no one will ever forget it.

Her mind drifted to watching her cousin’s feats from her living room. Collapsed bridges, raging floods, villains - human and alien alike - who sought to cause harm. How he stood in the way, the El family crest on his chest, cape snapping in the wind. 

She couldn’t save her world, but she could save this one. She could make herself worthy of the House of El.

I can save this world.

She could still hear the screams from across the city, from the child she couldn’t get to on time. The fire had spread so rapidly that the mere minute it took for her to come up with an excuse and run away had cost a child his life. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, but there were others in the building she could still save.

She thought of asking Kal how he handled it, the loss of a single precious life that might still have been here had she been just a little better, just a little faster. But maybe he didn’t really deal with that - maybe she was just the failure he wasn’t. She had failed to be there for him, after all.

Then the news of her father’s involvement in Medusa came to light, and Kara stopped knowing how to feel about the sigil on her chest.

I can’t save this world.

It was the last conscious thought she had, as Reign’s hand loosened. She remembered starting to fall, but she couldn’t remember landing.

She was trapped - trapped in her own mind, away from everyone. Unable to escape. But she wasn’t damaged. She was stuck because… she was afraid? Because she was a failure. Because Reign represented everything she couldn’t be. How could she try to save the world, when destruction was so much easier than creation?

I can’t save this world.

What is it the man had said? “They’re not like you. You’re a superhero.” As though her cape made her any less a refugee who came here for safety, a child sent across skies to protect and be protected.

How does one fight a villain that lives in everyone’s soul, a piece of darkness and fear that turns outward with suspicion and hatred towards those that are different? Even if she was a shining example of the best of her kind, she would simply be discounted. “You’re one of the good ones,” they would tell her. Because hate was easy when there was fear.

I can save her.

Kara’s chest fluttered in panic as Lena held Myriad in her hand. It had been too easy, how quickly their relationship had recovered from Kara’s own cruelty. She never wanted the other shoe to drop. She hid, she always hid, hiding would always be easier than acknowledging the possibility of loss.

She thought she had lost enough in her life, but as the kryptonite encased her in the last remnant of her home, she could only feel a new type of regret.

I can’t save her.

Kara’s fists clenched as she stared down Lena on the balcony. You act like a villain, I’ll treat you like one, she thought to herself, hating herself every moment. She knew the torn woman in front of her was an adversary she had created. But she had tried, Rao, she had tried to do the right thing.

She didn’t know how she could live with the string of failure that had followed her ever since she had picked up the cape. But at the same time, she knew there came a point where - whatever she had created - she still needed to do what was right. 

Even if it meant giving up any hope of being with the woman she loved.

I can’t even save myself.

She could still feel the softness of Lena’s hand in her own when they reconciled. There was still so much they needed to talk about in the aftermath, something else she needed to confess. The bridge was there for them to cross, once it was all over.

But then the only option became to risk her own life. Her soul tore at Lena’s longing gaze when she left the Fortress, and Kara wondered if they would ever get the chance.

It was a twisted comfort, knowing that Lena cared, even in the midst of their fallout, even as Kara faced her eternity in the Phantom Zone.

They saved me.

Kara broke down sobbing when Alex shoved her under the sunlamp, feeling the painful tingling of her cells remembering how to process sunlight. Everything screamed at her - the thundering sound of the light breeze outside, and choking scent of motor oil from the passing cars, and the hammering of all her friends’ heartbeats from the Tower’s mainroom.

Her body screamed like she was 13 again, panic and joy overwhelming her, because the pain wasn’t tied to the loss like it was all those years ago. It was a second chance, with everyone she loved.

We can save the world. 

There was this exhilaration to being back, to seeing the blue oceans and red sunrises and green grass. Maybe it’s easy to get carried away, when you can forget what made everything so hard.

Her father was going to save this world from its own destruction. She was going to absorb the sun. It was easy to seek easy solutions for everything, only for it to solve nothing at all.

We can save the world, sometimes.

It felt so odd to smile and cry, as Lena pulled her into her arms. Kara’s mind jumped from seeing her sister so happy with Kelly as they danced, to the words that were missing. The words Kara needed to say to her best friend.

She knew in the night - once they were out of their wedding clothes and in their pajamas, curled up on Lena’s couch - the words would finally tumble out.

But as Lena stood in front of her, reminding her that the world wasn’t on her shoulders alone, Kara took the moment to pause. She thought of her old cape, torn up and folded neatly in her closet at home. The day she put it on, she never thought she’d need more than feats of strength to save the world.

But how could strength defeat masses manipulated into bigotry? How could strength defeat magic? How could strength defeat the best friend she had betrayed? She wasn’t here through strength alone, but through connection, and truth. As Lena reminded her, the only salve against the darkness was in standing together.

We can save each other.

A small smile crossed Kara’s face, as she watched Lena snooze next to her in the morning light, hearing her voice from the day before. “You can’t always be our savior, Kara. You shine your light and inspire others to shine theirs.” She could never save everyone. No one could. But that’s not what hope was about, as much as cynicism said otherwise. 

As Kara reached up to brush hair away from Lena’s face, she remembered the lyrical sound of her family motto falling from Lena’s lips. With each person who stood next to another, the spark grew. Perhaps they could someday create enough light.

Kara lowered her head, placing her forehead against Lena’s as she slept. As Kara listened to Lena's peaceful heartbeats and calm breaths, she found herself praying to Rao. Thank you for this spark.

[notyixiangs]

i was saying this on my twitter so i’m just moving it here so that i can add more because the character count limit on twitter was bothering me but anyway

i think mu qing can be very contradictory when it comes to his perception of the self. ie he's insecure about himself and that there is an element of self dislike, but at the same time he has a very strong ego & feels wronged & undervalued by those around him. on one hand he thinks he deserves better from the world and what fate has dealt him and id say he even feels angry about the injustice of it all despite his insecurities. he's a very prideful person and takes pride in the things he knows he's capable at, but the pride also means he's particularly sensitive when his flaw are torn open & seen. but on the other hand, there are weaknesses about himself he strongly despises, and he is prone to jealousy/not feeling "enough". it's the strange mix of feeling like he's very capable but still berating himself because he could do better. he thinks he could surpass what fate's dictated for him so why hasn't he? but usually he sequesters all these insecurities away so they can't be seen, & encases himself behind this cool acerbic exterior such that only his capabilities shine through

re: him believing that he is not a good person & saying that there's no point in being one—i think he believes he is simply not a good person but for the most part meets this belief with indifference and treats it almost casually? almost like "this is just a fact take it or leave it" & he doesn't consciously think too much about it. but i think all this stems from him growing so accustomed to this belief for a very long time, which he'd only developed because he sees it as essential to survival. he indulges in fallacies like "there's no point in being kind" because it's a mode of self preservation and it's born from his disillusionment from being denied trust & leniency so many times. and since he has spent so long living behind that mask that he kind of melds into it to the point where it's hard to even distinguish where his "old", more vulnerable self ends and where his new "protected" one starts—hence he ends up believing he really just isn't a good person, but to him that's a fact that causes him surprisingly little grief at first glance

but i feel like deep down he wishes that maybe in another world he could be allowed to wear a softer skin, but he's accepted it doesn't work in this one. like i don't think he consciously thinks "i hate myself because i'm a bad person" since he thinks there's merit in sharpening his edges for self protection as long as he's left unperturbed. but the wish to be a better person is a more subcutaneous thing that he doesn't really see unless he's pushed to realize it imo

BUT what i do think is that when someone tries to treat him kindly & offer him tenderness for the 1st time in his life all that faux assurance would crumble because he isn't used to it and he doesn't understand how to accept nor face it. in a way it's like. he can justify (to himself) the act of being cruel because it's a way to combat the world being inherently cruel to him—but what happens when it isn't? what happens when someone subverts this entire idea of "all the world's out to get me so the only recourse is to hurt it before it can hurt me" and prove that wrong i think it'd rly shake him up and that's the moment when his insecurities and veiled self hatred would shine through

in the revised xlmq reconciliation, he says he refused to admit xie lian was a good person who had always held unconditionally kind intentions for mu qing because he wouldn't know face xie lian had he realized xl was kind. hence he convinced himself into thinking xie lian is faking his kindness and almost manufacturing a resentment towards xie lian, but admits that in the end bridge scene that this was all some twisted form of wishful thinking on his part

but then he turns around and contradicts himself because i think he IS kind to those who are innocent. he CAN BE A KIND PERSON!! imo he cares deeply for a select few people but just doesn't show it. he takes care of children & cares deeply for his mother but because of that belief that he just isn't kind & because he's so used to sponging all the world's damage by making himself cruel, the moment he's treated differently from what he thinks is the norm and given the slightest sliver of lenience he cannot handle it and all those axioms immediately crumble & then his world entirely subverts and he goes shit, how could i have ever even thought that way? i think there is a part of him that thinks he's destined to never find *affection* nor be treated gently specifically no matter how much he yearns for it

when he looks at people like xie lian who are extremely kind and forgiving i feel like there's a part of him that goes well. i know i can never measure up to that kind of "goodness" and i wish there was a world in which i could be like that but it's been proved impossible for me so its fine if i just stick to the pragmatic ideals i have (which aren't wrong, either). and i feel like pre-fall of xianle he can chalk this up to "well xie lian had it better than me which is why he can afford to be this kind but I can't afford to be like that and it's okay" but that gets flipped on its head because after everything xie lian has been through that argument just doesn't hold true for him anymore and some of his resentment comes from this "how could he live through all that and still remain true to his original idealistic values?" mindset. the new revised xlmq reconciliation is really interesting to me because in the old version he says something along the lines of "i can't change some of these twisted beliefs i have about you but in the end, i still admire you" whereas in the new (which i infinitely prefer) he says "these twisted beliefs i had about you were simply there because i made myself believe them or else i wouldnt know how to face you"

in the end my view of him is heavily shaped by my taste in fiction and the themes and character traits i like thinking about, the things i'm drawn in by, & my own experiences as well, in my head i usually only envision him as the version that i'm most interested in exploring which is actually a very very very flawed person. and it's like. idk. maybe my reading of him is different from what mxtx originally intended or different from what other people may derive from the source material but i think that's inevitable for any shared work of fiction

[ecargmura]

Wonderful Precure Episode 44 Review - Good-Byes Are Hard

This episode deals with a heavy topic: pet death. It really got to me because I’m raising two senior miniature poodles right now and one is having heart issues as he is coughing a lot more than before. I already dealt with pet death years ago when the dog I used to have before my current ones died of heart complications—that was nine years ago. I got my current dogs a few months after my previous dog’s death in order to cope with his death and it’s going to be a decade soon.

I really understand what Otsuru was going through. No matter the age of a person, we all go through happiness and later grief when we raise a dog. We all want what’s best for our pets until the end, but when that end comes, it’s harder to let go. I really like that Fuku wasn’t her first dog and that she once had a Chow Chow named Suzu when she was a teenager, but she died. Later on, when she was volunteering to promote rescue shelter adoptions, she met Fuku, fell in love, and kept being her family for the next eighteen years. It’s really sweet to show that no matter a person’s age, anyone can raise a dog and that sometimes, the desire to raise a dog just comes to you when you meet the right one.

I was shocked that the writers actually made it so that Fuku goes off to the rainbow bridge. In a kid’s show, they would usually twist things around so that there’s a happy ending of sorts, but not in this case! Fuku was going to die and they let her do so. I actually like that her time was coming and that the tone slowly becomes melancholic. I also really like that there are two different perspectives on this: Iroha who doesn’t want Fuku to die because she hasn’t experienced the loss of a pet yet and Otsuru who knows Fuku’s time is going to be up soon, so she tries to accept it as best as she can.

Remember back in an early episode review of this show that I was suggesting a possibility of a dinosaur Gaogao? Well, that assumption came true… there is a dinosaur Gaogaon and it was the biggest challenge for the Precures. Seriously, the episode suddenly became Jurassic Park film with the epic T-Rex fight. Fortunately, Torame stops the Gaogaon, allowing the Precures to purify it.

To be honest, I thought he was going to hurt Otsuru and Fuku, but he didn’t. I’m surprised that Torame actually sympathized with them that he stopped the Gaogaon in order to let the road clear up. He’s shockingly kind, even to Otsuru who is a human. I mean, Zakuro and Torame aren’t bad people—they’re just wolves who are hostile towards humans. But it’s nice to see that Torame has some kindness in his heart. I’m guessing both Zakuro and Torame are getting redemption arcs, but Torame goes first.

I did cry watching this episode. Hopefully, I’ll get the mental preparation to send my dogs off to the rainbow bridge. It’s going to be hard, but I know that I’ve made them the happiest dogs in the world and that no one else would treat them better than me. They are my family and I am theirs. We were meant for each other and I know that they wouldn’t want to trade me for another owner—they already went through the pain of having an owner who didn’t want them anymore. I should really end this review here before I get depressed about thoughts of my dogs dying. What are your thoughts about the episode?

[sketchy-rosewitch]

Hello there!

I’m feeling chaotic neutral rn bc I just watched a lame gory movie, so could I possibly get some gory slut w Vincent Sinclair?

feel free to ignore this and/or just delete this if ya don’t feel like it, I’m just wondering what kind of messed up things u can think of based off of my messed up ideas.

oh, and w a Fem or GN reader too please!

Don’t feel rushed bc trust me I take a long time to do requests too, so take your time and don’t feel pressured!

have a good day!

Red is the color of Love (and Blood): Vincent x gn!afab!reader

A/N: you have a great night too, thanks for requesting! I loved writing this, I’m not used to writing blood and gore so this was new for me! Hope you like it!

Warnings: Blood, Dead Body, reader also kills, PinV, fingering, sex in blood, knives, screwdrivers, heavy descriptions of killing people, blood being used in a sexual way.

Vincent told you you weren’t allowed to help. But you wanted to. You told him you’d be okay, you even tried to get Bo and Lester to back you up on it. Bo stayed out of it which meant that Lester did too. Which meant you couldn’t help.

Except, who the hell were you to listen?

You sit on the ticket counter in the House of Wax waiting patiently for one or more people from the small group Lester spotted to come in. Vincent would be up not long after which is why you don’t mind there being a few people in the group.

Chatter is heard outside about 20 minutes into you just sitting in the A/C filled museum. Three girls and a man come in all talking loudly.

“They’re so gross. I mean seriously you can’t spend one minute without each other?” One of the women huffs. She has short blonde hair and brown eyes.

“Oh you’re just jealous Jake won’t look at you.”

She gasps and hits the man. “I’m not, I just know I could treat him better than that stupid whore Jess ever could!”

The room goes quiet as the second woman jabs both of them and points at you. You smile.

“Sorry, we didn’t think anyone worked here. How much to look around?” She asks, moving her black hair behind her ear.

“Oh the museum is a nonprofit. You can go ahead and look around. I’m just here to volunteer, ya know make sure no one touches anything they aren’t supposed to.” You explain, she nods and the trio start to look around. The blonde continues to bitch and moan about Jake and Jess. You hop off the counter and go behind it looking for the screw driver you stuck back there, humming to ‘Dancing Queen’ softly.

Vincent’s foot steps are heard coming from the basement stairs. You smirk and pocket the screw driver, watching from behind the counter as he heads towards the group of friends.

Shockingly your boyfriend didn’t see you, you shrug and lean against the wall waiting.

There’s talking. Then silence. Then multiple screams.

The bitchy blonde woman runs out of the kitchen and comes up to you scared. “Please, help! Help me. Fuck they just stabbed my friend. This man he just- fuck you have to help come on!” Tears spill from her eyes. Your adrenaline hikes up, pretending to care you nod your head quickly and she takes your hand.

You pull the screw driver out and yank her back causing her to fall to the floor. Standing over top of her you stomp into her skull causing blood to flow from her face. Some of it splashed onto your boot. You kick her nose up causing the bridge to go into her skull.

You smirk and notice the other girl in your peripheral trying to sneak away from you. Stepping over the other girl’s now dead body you run up to the black haired girl and grab the collar of her shirt. You take your screwdriver and stab it into her throat, wiggling it around. She gurgles and spits out blood onto your face. You wipe it away, causing it to smear.

You take the screw driver out and she attempts to push you off of her. You manage to push her fully into the waxy floor and stab her over and over again with the screwdriver.

You stop when she stops gurgling. Her body fully going limp. You pull the tool from her neck and get up.

Vincent watches you from the kitchen archway. You smile proudly. “I told you I could do it!”

Your adrenaline runs high and Vincent makes his way over to you. You realize how scary he looks in his mask when he’s coming towards you like that. You flinch as he grabs your face looking at it for any scratches.

“Baby I’m fine. Please.” You laugh, he glares and you quiet down frowning slightly. Vincent takes one hand and pulls his mask off. You look at his face and he leans in kissing you aggressively, his lips slowly starting to taste like iron because of the blood on your face. You groan into the kiss as he feels down your body. His lips kiss down your jaw and to your neck biting and sucking on it.

“Fuck baby. You like it huh? You like that I wanna kill people too?” You moan, he nods and starts to push you two towards the now blood covered floor.

Vincent pulls up your tank top and grabs your chest. He sucks on one of your nipples and smears the other in blood.

You roll your hips into him and pant. Taking some blood, you smear it on his face then pull him up from your breast to kiss him.

Vincent’s hands grab your pants and underwear. Yanking them down, the material stretches and makes tearing noises. Neither of you care.

You grab his bulge making his breath hitch, he almost loses stability and falls on top of you. A small grunt leaves your boyfriends lips and you unzip his jeans, pulling his cock out.

Vincent’s bloody hand jerks himself a few times and you watch as blood starts to cover his length. “Fuck.. please fuck me with all the blood on it. Shit baby, just- Ah!”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he thrusts into you without warning. His dick stretches your hole out so much it hurts. Something about you really likes it though.

He grabs your hips and starts to rut into you, letting out small puffs of air every time his cock stretches you out.

You let out loud squeals enjoying being covered in blood and the feeling of Vincent holding onto you so tightly. The two of you kiss, opening your mouths and your tongues intertwining. Your hair begins to soak in blood and your fingers run it through Vincent. His pace now slowing down for even a second. You feel as the knot in your stomach tightens, it keeps tightening and doesn’t stop.

One of his hands comes down and starts to circle your clit, making even more lewd wet noises. You roll your hips into him desperate for more. He gives it to you.

“Fuck Vince. Please oh I love you. I love you baby. Please.” You whine, your kiss causing drool to come from both your mouth and his. His hips slap into you making your back arch. “I’m gonna cum. Oh god. Fuck.”

His hips move faster and your hangs open unable to form words. Your eyes roll back and your orgasm ripples through your body. Your vision goes blurry as your legs shake you let out squeals, Vincent doesn’t let up. He fucks you through your orgasm, he finishes not long after you, bucking his hips over and over again. He falls onto you and a small ‘oof’ escapes your lips.

He takes a non bloody part of his sleeve and wipes your face before kissing you gently. You hum and play with his sticky hair.

“Can we go shower?” Your voice is hoarse, he looks up at you nodding quickly. His strong arms pick you up and carry you back to the house.

The bodies can wait until later.

[rockanroller]

i think one of my biggest concerns about viv's content (which has become heavier since seeing how she and raph have reacted to push-back against viv's mis-matched portrayals of SA overall but particularly both viv & raph's portrayals of SA in episode 4) was that she never actually had "good intentions" for what she's trying to say. or maybe she did at a point, but it got lost/blurred over time.

yes, it *is* a good message to attempt to give support to the "imperfect victim," the assholes who need a little empathy despite their bark and bite, bc they all still suffered horrible things that are unimaginable to some of us, and they deserve the love and healing they were denied just as much as the "perfect victim" does, but...

the risk that message can come with is emboldening assholes and "imperfect victims" who have no intentions of changing, who want to be and act horribly to others and/or themselves without consequence, who continue the cycles of abuse put upon them. tbf, this is generally unavoidable, but handling it poorly can amplify the numbers or confidence of said emboldened assholes.

the impression i always got from her work was "oh so i'm a monster? fine, then i'll act like one, deal with it" while ironically simultaneously being unable to handle being perceived as "a monster."

my concern from the start was that viv may not *be* someone who has genuinely been treated/hated unfairly (for her *entire* existence, she was def treated/hated unfairly for some of it) despite many attempts to change and "be better"--and she instead is someone who refuses to self-reflect outside of "people hate me" and wants to be allowed to be and act shitty w/o consequences "because trauma" w/o having to consider others and in an apparent effort to act fully self-interested. (which yes, all that can be a trauma response but it doesn't excuse you for how you behave/act towards others.)

it's not illegal to be selfish, but to live the kind of life where you continually act only in your own self-interest creates a very isolated and unstable foundation where you're continually burning bridges and generating misery for not only others but also yourself. we've seen this pattern continually with viv.

how i've seen viv act over time, and how she and raph have acted recently throughout the drama with episode 4, with viv seeming to continually adjust her defenses/like tweets to fit whatever argument she's trying to one-up... i'm not confident w/her intentions... and i've given her a *lot* of chances and empathy to attempt to understand where she's coming from, but i find my understandings for her becoming more and more contradicted by her own words & actions.

[eastgaysian]

Hey, as you are the resident Tom expert: why do think Naomi and Stewy seem to pick up on the fact that logan is abusive or at least damaging, but Tom remains almost willfully oblivious / genuinely oblivious the whole show? Do you think he was playing dumb? Or is it out of his desire to *be* powerful, be wealthy, be like Logan? just really interested in your thoughts if you’re still up for analyzing that insane slimy man clown <3

it's been fully a month since i got this ask i was on a trip with my friends and then went into lemming lockdown. but i have been thinking about it and i do still have thoughts on succession i prommy

this is kind of a complicated knot to untangle - i'll say first off that the way logan treats kendall vs shiv is markedly different, and kendall and shiv respond very differently. naomi and stewy also come from wealthy backgrounds and have some amount of disillusionment with Wealth and Power as a result while tom is, obviously, fixated on social climbing and caught up in the allure of money being a superpower.

with stewy, the biggest thing is that he's been a part of kendall's life since they were kids. while cut script canonicity is always iffy wrt things like 'dinner for winners' etc he's known kendall for, what, 30+ years? the fact is he's been around long enough and closely enough to see a lot more of the roys than most people do - he's also not going to turn a blind eye and enable or excuse like members of the old guard. he doesn't work for logan, he's kendall's best friend. while this doesn't necessarily mean he has always kendall's best interests in mind or that he encourages him towards what we'd consider 'healthy' behaviors, he's had a front row seat to the Kendall Show for decades. he knows first-hand how damaging it is for kendall to remain in logan's proximity/under his control

naomi obviously picks up on How Bad It Is much more quickly, which i would say is a combination of her seeing a lot of herself in kendall, not only with regards to addiction but also wanting to get the money and get out from the family company and all its baggage. in season 2 kendall is also at his absolute lowest, completely under logan's thumb, and everyone's aware of this.

on the whole it's just much more immediately obvious that kendall's fucked and that logan plays a huge role in this. compared to shiv generally being understood as logan's 'favorite,' trying to distance herself from logan/royness at the beginning of the show, and presenting a Cool and Composed front to everyone while kendall walks around with his big brown doe eyes and injured baby bird swagger. neither of them are fully willing to acknowledge just how much damage logan has done, but shiv is much better at hiding the extent of it from other people than kendall is

which is not to say that tom doesn't have some serious cognitive dissonance/conflicts of interest going on, like him asking shiv at the beginning of austerlitz if it's cool to speak to logan 'in a bridge-building way' despite the fact logan accused shiv of knowing about kendall's coup and blew up at her as a result. tom's not totally, willfully blind of what's going on - he saw logan hit iverson at thanksgiving, he got boar on the floor'ed. he correctly assesses in vaulter that 'you saw what your dad did to kendall. there's gotta be the chance he'll do the same to you? get bored of you, once he's got you?' which is again not totally separate from his own self-interest. he needs (or 'needs') to be in logan's proximity and in his good graces in a way stewy or naomi don't, which means smoothing over the fact he's abusive and awful

but i also don't think tom would be able to justify sucking up to logan to himself if shiv didn't okay tom talking to logan in austerlitz, then take logan up on his offer in the summer palace/fixate on the idea of becoming ceo. in an objective sense it's still awful for him to do, of course, but logan has kind of always been between tom and shiv. from his perspective shiv's chosen logan over him before and hasn't stopped him from choosing logan over her in small ways. shiv is chronically unwilling/unable to admit when she's been hurt and tom is unwilling/unable to look past that and recognize when he does something terrible, especially when everyone else is doing the same terrible things

[inkblot-inc]

RCD: NYFW, FOMO

Summary: Knowing the sour history between Skitch and Natasha, we'll just have to see how they decide to interact with each other going forward, if at all; Fear Of Missing Out AKA Forget Our Missed Opportunities

Pairing: Jeweler!Wanda Maximoff x Metalworker!Reader

[Everything Else From the RCD Universe] [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] This is Part 4

Warning(s): Oh there's definitely language in this one, I remember. There's also mention of past toxic relationships/friendships, but that's about it

Note(s): Here we are at the last part of The Fashion Week Incident, so let's cap it off baby, LET'S GO!

Word Count: a bit under 1k

ALSO: *squints* I give NO ONE permission to repost or translate my work. Make your own shit

Again, Wanda and Natasha weren't the bestest of friends before that night. They were friendly acquaintances within the same circle of the fashion industry, so when Skitch tells Wanda about their history with Nat, she's rightfully standoffish toward the fashion designer on the last day of fashion week.

Skitch is kind of just over it and wants to enjoy the rest of fashion week with Wanda and just ignore that Natasha is there. They haven't let Natasha affect their life for so long that they just want to move on with everything.

Natasha, however, since seeing Skitch after all these years is definitely more remorseful and wants to bridge the gap between them and apologize for how she treated Skitch and how they cut ties so abruptly.

The actual runway presentation on the last day goes off without a hitch. After the show, Wanda and Skitch are both mingling again as per usual when Natasha eventually comes up to Skitch and asks to talk to them privately. Skitch brings Wanda along because anything that Natasha has to say can be said in front of Wanda as well seeing as Wanda knows about their past. The three of them do go outside of the venue for privacy, though.

Natasha releases a shaky breath before starting. "I was hoping that we can start fresh, and just put what happened behind us. I know things got ugly, and I'm not proud of how I dealt with things and how much of a bitch I was to you. I wish I reached out to you sooner,"

Wanda could feel her own eye twitch a little bit, "I'm ashamed of the person I was and how I treated you... if I could go back in time-"

That was where you were done just listening, "But you can't go back in time, Natasha- Fuck, NO part of that was an apology! That's what I want, Natasha. An apology. I can't help but think that that is outside of your reach to give me, seeing as I was never just ENOUGH! I was somehow not doing enough as a kid with 'nothing to offer', or I was overbearing enough to let me get arrested for protecting you!" At some point you stopped seeing the older woman dressed in finer fabrics and instead saw the ambitious college sophomore who never wore any outfit without one of your borrowed leather jackets. "Maybe if I'm MAD ENOUGH I'll be worthy of an earnest 'sorry' from you! I just!-...All I wanted was to finally be enough..."

Natasha's eyes continued to water as tears flowed down her cheeks. Her hand helplessly tried to reach out to you, her voice weak and strangled by overflowing emotion. "You were always enough, Y/n. I- fuck... I'm so sorry that I ever treated you like you were beneath me, that you were a nuisance, that I told you that you were 'wasting your time' while with working for Logan. Hell! I'm sorry that I resented you for putting your future on hold for my benefit! I'm sorry for acting like I was better than anyone and taking you and Logan and Annie and Kurt for granted... but you are enough, Y/n. You always have been. And I'm sorry that I made you feel any less than."

Your face is still stoic, but you can't help but let a few tears of your own fall at Natasha's words. "I know that now, but I didn't need you to tell me that anymore." You tightened your grip on yours and Wanda's clasped hands. "I've had the better half a decade to think and make my piece with your shit, Nat... And in time, I think-... I think I could forgive you. But I can't speak on behalf of the others at home you hurt, like Annie and Kurt, and I damn sure can't speak for my dad. You'll have to talk to them yourself to try to make amends... but consider this the olive branch. Don't snap it."

Wanda, who just found out about Skitch and Natasha's past together the night before, however, is a lot more hesitant to be as cordial with Natasha. She was there to hold Skitch while they cried recalling just how fucked their dynamic used to be, how small they felt after they got bailed out of jail. It was rare for Wanda to see Skitch's rays of sunshine so dim, but she could also feel that tiny shred of hope Skitch had in Natasha to show how much she's changed. Not reverting back to the way things were when they were young and the best of friends. But to have a new friendship built on mutual respect.

Wanda had yet to move as she simply stared at Natasha. "What I can't wrap my head around, is that Y/n went to jail for you, and you just let them ride that out?"

Natasha turned to Wanda, briefly wiping her face, "I couldn't even try to understand my own thought process with what happened that night and leading up to it. There was something about not wanting feeling 'smothered' by the affection of the people that cared about me and craving to be in the 'in' crowd. Wanting the space to make my own choices even though I was the most homesick I had ever been at that time. And pride, there was a lot of pride... too much of it where it wasn't justified, seeing as I cut off the people I wanted to be proud of me the most. I've never forgiven myself for how self-centered I was, nor will I try to justify it. I just hope that I'll be given the opportunity to prove myself to be a real friend to Y/n this time."

Wanda couldn't help but hope for the same, for the both of their sakes, but she would be right beside Skitch to make sure they weren't hurt again.

'I'm sure they are proud of you.'

[yuzukahibiscus]

Takarazuka Revue Flower Troupe Musical "Arc en ciel~ Rainbow Over Paris" opens in Tokyo performances. Yuzuka Rei, Hoshikaze Madoka closeup interview

(Source from Enterminal)

◆ Yuzuka Rei

I'm truly thankful that we could have our Tokyo open stage rehearsals successfully. First, more than anything, I will continue to improve to convey a stage that the audience will be happy with, and do my very best. So I ask for everyone's support.

◆ Hoshikaze Madoka

I'm very happy that our Tokyo stage rehearsals are complete. I will remember this feeling in my heart and with a smile on my face, I will continue to improve till the end. Please support us.

ーーー This is both of your graduation performance. Upon finishing performances at the Takarazuka Grand Theatre, how do you feel about welcoming the Tokyo opening performance.

◆Yuzuka Rei

I want to treat this performance as a new one, and create a better performance, so I have been doing rehearsals in the classroom and on stage. We finished our one month and a half of performances in the Takarazuka Grand Theatre, but I want to do as much as I can, and do more on various aspects, thinking of how to embrace certain traits of the role. Once again, I wanted to deliver even a tiny bit of energy to the audience in this energetic stage, and I'm approaching this performance from the start again.

◆ Hoshikaze Madoka As Yuzuka-san said, while this is our graduation performance, what I always think about the Tokyo performances is even when the Grand Theatre performances already ended, I'm at the stage of wanting to aim higher until the Tokyo closing performance comes. I want to treasure this time and perform well in this musical.

ーーー From how you carefully play the role, to conveying the duet dance at the finale like a chapter of a drama, how did you feel dancing together?

◆ Yuzuka Rei I've been approaching my role since the rehearsals for the Grand Theatre, and the long period of time performing in the Grand Theatre, but now I think more of "how would Marcel feel in this kind of way" and for yesterday and today, I read the script with Catherine (Hoshikaze) all over again. While interpreting each and every scene, we had discussions on "how the relationship of the couple would change", so I hope that I'd be able to present Marcel, and even Marcel's relationship with Catherine better, and I'm still exploring and searching for the answer. How did you feel about the duet dance?

◆ Hoshikaze Madoka When we walked out of the silver bridge, usually we would start on opposite sides on the left and right and meet at the center, but this time we're holding hands...

◆ Yuzuka Rei Having a walk on the silver bridge (LOL).

◆ Hoshikaze Madoka I feel so blessed when we could have a walk together. I could feel the love from the many sensei, so I want to cherish this time performing this.

◆ Yuzuka Rei

I hope that everyone could watch over our duet dance, that we could make the performance deeper and richer in content, and that we would also cherish this time together.

ーーーThis is a performance about the French revue under the Nazist German occupation, so is there anything you find connected to yourself about this performance?

◆Yuzuka Rei

The greatest thing I've felt during the pandemic was my gratitude towards the audience. It goes the same for Marcel in this performance, that of course I think about what I want to convey in my dance, but he realised that to the audience that fill the theatre, his greatest hope was to create a performance that they would enjoy. That is how (Marcel) grows in the story. That is also what is overlapping to me, and how both of us think that the audience is the most important, is also what I can relate to.

ーーー "Wavering but not sunken" is a very memorable song, how do you feel singing it?

◆ Yuzuka Rei

I can truly feel how beautiful the lyrics' meaning are and the beauty of its melody, and also can receive much power from the song. As Yuzuka and as Marcel, we are all drawn to this song, and I'm very grateful to have encountered this song. I sing this song on the silver bridge and can see the audience's faces clearly, and I can feel that when the audience probably listen to this song and hear these words and lyrics, it helps them think back on the various memories. I'm once again thankful to share this kind of time with the audience, and with that I want to sing this song sincerely.

ーーー There are many dance scenes, what do you feel about those dances as a character who is a choreographer/dancer?

◆ Yuzuka Rei

I'm so happy to show various kinds of dance numbers to the audience. And (not really as a choreographer at first) when I play Marcel as a dancer that challenges different dances, I once again think what do I want to convey to the audience, so as to hone, practice and calculate how I dance. I want to connect my conscious to marcel and I was able to learn much not just for this graduation performance, but learning every day, and I'm very glad to have this role in the end.

[lxvenderjewel]

song/ship analyses part 6: merthur and "call it what you want" by taylor swift

this one was inspired by a video i saw on yt: merlin & arthur || call it what you want [CC] go check it out after this!!

“My castle crumbled overnight” i mean in both s4 and s5 arthur loses control of his kingdom so like

“They took the crown, but it's alright” i know arthur’s like. magic-high during the s4 finale but if the shoe fits

“All the liars are calling me one” being a king he’s probably been called a liar a lot, even by his own father he’s been called a liar (which is like. hypocrite much??)

“Nobody's heard from me for months” during the entire s4 finale no one knows where arthur is except merlin

“Walkin' with his head down, I'm the one he's walkin' to” merlin’s arthur’s servant, so of course he’s walking with his head down towards him (well maybe not with his head down he doesn’t have that kind of respect for arthur 💀)

“High above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new” merlin never seems to be swayed by public opinion, he always has complete trust in arthur

“So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to” can you imagine how many rumors swirl around merlin and arthur? this lyric is so perfect be real

“Windows boarded up after the storm

He built a fire just to keep me warm” whenever arthur goes through hardship merlin’s always right there. when uther dies merlin sleeps right outside to offer arthur comfort as soon as he needs it

“All the jokers dressin' up as kings” morgana

“They fade to nothin' when I look at him” i think arthur has a lot of faith in merlin. like as in merlin is part of what motivates him to be a better king for his people

“And I know I make the same mistakes every time

Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right” he often fumbles romantically, and when he finally thinks he has gwen, he ultimately loses her to lancelot, but merlin stays with his unwavering loyalty to arthur

“I'm laughin' with my lover, makin' forts under covers

Trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right” arthur and merlin antics, like that one pillow fight scene in an episode i can’t recall, and “trust him like a brother” of course he does. a term that comes to mind for merthur is “t’hy’la” from star trek, which roughly translates to “friend, brother, lover”

“Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night” merlin’s eyes when he does magic

“I want to wear his initial

On a chain 'round my neck, chain 'round my neck” this line reminds me of the deleted scene where arthur gives merlin his sigil (which i think is in the video as well)

“Not because he owns me

But 'cause he really knows me

Which is more than they can say, I” many people look at arthur like a kind of god, considering he’s king, and even his knights, who he’s closest with, still look at him with some sort of reverence, but merlin treats him like just another person, which must be so refreshing, to not have any expectations on your head and to be just known as you are without and preconceived notions

“I recall late November

Holdin' my breath, slowly I said

"You don't need to save me

But would you run away with me?"” he never actually says it to merlin but this line reminds me of when arthur is with gwen and he tells her he dreams of living in some village with merlin and just being a farmer, and living a calm, soft life

once again go watch the video!! it’s very well made and the person who made it is awfully talented

[zuvluguu]

Welcome to planet earth !!!🌎!!!

You have arrived on a complex planet that is not for the faint of heart. You now have a physical body. Take care of it. It is the only one you will receive this time around, so if you abuse it, you will pay the price. But remember, this body is not who you are. You are a Spark in the body of Creator, and you will live forever.

That’s the good news. The bad news is that since you are now mortal, your body will eventually perish. Whatever choices you make with your mind, body, and spirit will not only affect your Present life, they will also affect how you move forward on the long road of your many successful lifetimes, for this is but one chapter in your soul’s journey, and each life you can either embrace the path of mastery or you can stand still. Each life contributes or detracts from your overall evolution. Your thoughts, actions, words, and intentions will all affect where you will go when you die, as well as the next set of choices in future lifetimes. So be wise. Take your time. Be patient with yourself and others, and try not to burn any bridges. The person that you help today may be the very person who is there to help you tomorrow. That’s how it works. Our deeds come back to us, And there is no escaping this cosmic law. So remember to be kind. This is to remind you that you came to earth for a reason. Your existence is not random; it was planned. Now you must figure out what that reason is, because even though you once knew it —you have forgotten. That’s one of the most difficult things about coming to planet Earth—the amnesia. There are planets where this veil is not in place —a veil meant to allow you to start fresh in each new life. But earth is not one of these places, so you’ll have to get your memories back for yourself. But don’t worry, there will be clues along the way, the first being the circumstances of your birth. Whatever pain, suffering, and hardship you may have experienced, this may actually be a clue as to your life‘s purpose. So if you landed in one of those many dysfunctional families here on earth, you may have actually come to this planet to better understand the problems of humanity from the inside out, and to change them for the better. This is good, not only for you, but for all of humanity.

One bit of advice: Every life has two interconnected missions: an outer task and an inner task; and these are usually linked. Each one of us has an inner challenge, a hardship designed to test our character at the core of our being. This is for the learning of the soul. Someone dies; there is not enough money; you were in the middle of a bitter divorce; you lose your home or your country; or the environment that you grow up in is difficult, to say the least — these kinds of scenarios are the setup, the challenge that you signed up for that will set you on your unique path.

The second task involves what you do with these challenges, which if met, will bring you to a point of resolution and wisdom that will point you toward your greater mission. This is the reason you were born. And if you manage to succeed in overcoming your difficulties, you will gain the strength and the power needed to triumph in your assignment. So treat each challenge as an opportunity, not a problem. If you do, then it will inspire you to turn your difficulties into strengths, bringing you right to the heart of your purpose.

Yes, we know that this Course Curriculum is not easy, but that’s all a part of the game. What would be the fun of it if you could figure it out in a minute? And while your amnesia is really a bummer, it has been put in place to help you and some of your fellow human beings begin again, because if you were to remember your past choices, you might be so filled with regret that you would never be able to start anew. And it’s true, there are easier planets you could have chosen. Some planets only have the physical challenges like weather, food, or survival. Others have mental challenges. But Earth has it all — mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. So it’s a very advanced Curriculum, and if you succeed, you will be light-years ahead of those who never tried.

Just remember, no one forced you to come here, and we wouldn’t have let you if you weren’t ready. So be brave. Believe in yourself. Take time to breathe. Remember to help people, animals, and the planet. Above all, listen to your heart and remember to love. Tune into nature and you’ll start to hear the whispers of your true Self. It is always within you, and you are never alone. And remember, I believe in you.

[dindjarinandlysakane]

The Sweetest Taste | Chapter 50 - What matters is that I met you

When Din Djarin meets a beautiful cake seller from Nevarro, do you think he’s just going to stand back and let her suffer at the hands of her abusive boyfriend? After a lifetime of heartache and pain, Lysa Kane realises she’s not on her own any more and finds an unlikely friend in the Mandalorian. And Din Djarin does not like men who treat women like that, not one tiny bit. Friendship/comfort and maybe something more…

Masterlist

Chapter 50 - What matters is that I met you

----

Twenty minutes later, Lysa was sat on the square couch, with Grogu snuggled into her side, as Din kneeled down on one knee in front of her with a dish of warm water on the floor just to his right.

Lysa, who Din had helped peel her torn and bloodied tunic from her body, was now dressed in only a thin white slip, her long golden hair still tangled around her.

Din had tended to her sore and raw wrists, cleaning the dirt from her gently with a soft cloth, as Lysa had stared down at him wordlessly as he worked.

And despite knowing that she was back here, safe with the two people she cared about most in this world, Lysa still felt lost…still in shock. Struggling to come to terms with all that had happened up on that bridge on Nar Shaddaa.

She watched now as Din wrung out the cloth into the dish beside him, with one hand. 

The water was now tingled with pink. The blood swirling in the clear liquid, like sand caught in a breeze.

“Are your hands ok?” asked Din in a low voice, filled with concern, grasping her palm and turning her hand suddenly over in his.

“Yeah…” replied Lysa in a quiet voice, turning both her hands palm side up. “...I-I think so.”

She noticed Din’s beskar covered face linger on hers for a moment, knowing that he was staring at her now. With those brown eyes she had imagined back there on Nar Shaddaa when all hope had seemed lost.

“Then let’s see to those scratches,” he said with a nod toward her cheek, wringing the cloth out with one hand before lifting it to Lysa’s face.

She winced a little at the contact, causing Din to retract his hand back suddenly.

“Sorry, I-” he murmured. 

But Lysa cut across him, with a reassuring shake of her head. “It’s ok,” she said, touching his hand gently and guiding it again halfway to her face.

Din pressed to the cloth to her cheek once more. His touch, feather-light this time.

Kriff. Lysa loved him.

More than she had ever loved anything.

But what was a man like Din Djarin doing with a person like Lysa?

And what if, after everything, he no longer wanted…whatever this was, between them?

It was hard not to question everything now. Especially after hearing Crix’s last words, whispered into her ear as his last act of abusive triumph. 

‘Even more blood on your hands now, ‘ey Lys’?’

That self-doubt and worry, seeping back into her like a poison.

Those doubts causing her to fret that a kind and brave and noble man like Din Djarin deserved far better than someone like Lysa.

And so Lysa stared up at Din now, tears welling once more in her eyes. As Din paused in what he was doing, gazing back at her.

But as she looked at the Mandalorian. She felt his warmth, his adoration for her. Visible now, even with beskar hiding his face.

He had saved her. Gone to great lengths to ensure her safety…

So she needed now to stop questioning whether or not they should continue…whatever this was.

Because back there, in that cell on Nar Shaddaa. There was no place in the galaxy she had wanted to be more, than in back in the arms of Din Djarin.

He meant everything to her now.

Filling her life with hope, happiness, and love. After Lysa had long-since given up on ever finding any of those things again.

“Thank you,” she said, with a shake of her blonde head, gazing at him. “For…for coming to Nar Shaddaa…for saving my life.”

But now it was Din’s turn to shake his own head. Letting out a harsh huff of air.

“I’m just sorry I didn't kill Crix when we had him here,” Din replied, his voice laced with frustration, as Grogu gave an uneasy chirp at Lysa’s side. “If I had-”

But Lysa lifted her hand, placing it to the side of Din’s helmet tenderly.

“That was all on him. Not you,” said Lysa earnestly, pursing her lips together.

There was no way the blame for any of this lay at Din’s door.

But Din tilted his beskar-covered head. “It was my fault that Ran and Xi’an got involved. It was me they wanted,” muttered Din, anger and bitterness filling his voice.

“It doesn’t matter…” said Lysa, staring at Din and tilting her head as she did so.

But Din let out a shallow breath and was silent for a moment before he spoke again.

“Ran told me that it was because of me leaving that they even met Crix in the first place,” he said in a voice far more solemn than before. “And it was because of them that he ended up in Nar Shaddaa all those years ago….where he met you.”

Lysa gave a frown, her green eyes flitting over Din’s helmet, ruminating over his words.

“I don't understand-” she said in a quiet voice, dropping her hand suddenly from his helmeted face.

But Din cut across her.

“It’s my fault,” Din repeated in a low voice, giving an audible swallow. “If it wasn't for me, you never would have met Crix…and you wouldn't have had to endure all those years of what he put you through.”

Lysa was silent for a long moment, her frown deepening as she stared at him in disbelief.

“What Crix did to me…” she uttered in a hard voice. “...was what he chose to do, Din. Day in, day out. And the only person to blame for all that is him.”

Lysa shifted forwards in her seat, suddenly, frowning hard.

“Even if we hadn't met in Nar Shaddaa then. Who’s to say we wouldn't have met a year later? Or a year after that?” she said firmly. “What matters is that I met you…”

Lysa felt tears welling in her eyes again, as she pursed her pink lips, feeling the first tear slip silently down her bruised cheek.

“That day I took a detour to avoid that dust storm…” she continued, tilting her head, her voice breaking slightly as she spoke. “I just felt empty inside. I’d go out and make my deliveries and come home to Crix and-...every day was the same. I had nothing good in my life-”

She reached up, the tips of her fingers grazing lightly down the side of Din’s helmet, coming to stop at his neck,where she knew only a layer of fabric lay between them.

“-until you came into it,” she said, feeling two more tears slide their way down her cheeks. But these were no longer tears of sadness. They were tears of happiness and belonging.

At her side she noticed Grogu peering up at her with those big dark eyes of his.

“Both of you,” she said with a soft smile. Her first since before Nar Shaddaa.

And with that, she reached her other free hand around Grogu, stroking her hand up his little back warmly.

Lysa sucked in a breath, blinking up at the ceiling, steadying herself for a few seconds, before gazing back down towards Din.

“So you can stop martyring yourself, Din Djarin,” she said in a reprimanding tone. “You're not going to blame yourself for any of this. The man who’s to blame is dead.”

Of course everything had happened so fast, Lysa had not seen, or at least had not wanted to see, her own fate in Crix hitting the ground ahead of her.

She had put a bullet through him, and unlike Lysa, he had not had a Mandalorian with a jetpack there to rescue him. So any chance of survival had been almost impossible for the man she had spent so many years with.

The man who, despite that, Lysa felt nothing for now.

Not hatred. Or anger for all he had put her through.

Just nothing now. For nothing was all he deserved.

Lysa blinked down at Grogu for a short moment, before peering Din’s way again.

“But I also just keep thinking,” said Din in a low voice. “That if I hadn't left Ran and the others. If I’d have kept travelling with them….then it might have been me that you met in Nar Shadda all those years ago. Not Crix.”

At his words Lysa gave a sweet smile.

“I’m not sure you would have liked me back then,” she said with a sigh. “I was kind of a wreck.”

Din let out a chuckle from behind his beskar.

“So was I,” he uttered, Lysa hearing him smile. “I think we probably would have been pretty well matched.”

Lysa gave a laugh of her own. Happiness swirling inside her.

She knew that life certainly would have been different if all that were true. If Lysa and Din had met back in that grimy cantina on Nar Shadda five long years ago.

But fate had dealt them both a different hand for a while. Leaving them to both tread their own difficult paths, before ending up here…now…together.

Lysa smiled, gazing at Din’s covered face, before wincing slightly and moving her hand to her wounded shoulder.

“The Marshal said it should heal in a week or so,” Din commented, nodding towards the counter. “He left some more dressings in case those need changing.”

“Do you think I could take a shower, if I keep it out of the stream?” she sighed, glancing at her arms, covered in what felt like layers of dust and dirt, and flecks of blood from her wound. “I just feel…dirty.”

It was a second or two before Din spoke matter of factly. “Do you need me to help?”

But Lysa just shot him a kindly smirk.

“I think I’ll be ok,” she said in a soft tone, slowly rising to her feet as Grogu and Din backed up slightly, allowing her space to stand.

Din, who had quickly gotten to his own feet, reached for her hand, grasping it lightly, ensuring she was steady, before he let go of her once more.

Lysa smiled up at him warmly.

“I’ll heat you up some bone broth,” said Din with a nod. “For when you get out.”

Lysa wrinkled her nose.

“I know, I know,” said Din quickly, preempting any comment Lysa was about to make. “But I’m not some fancy baker. Bone broth is about my limit.”

Lysa’s smile widened as she bit her lip, gazing up at the tall Mandalorian fondly.

“I could go for some bone broth,” she replied earnestly.

…………………………………….

If you'd like to be added to the taglist please let me know.

@its5-15wakeup @thecraftyartist @crazypaine @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @marysucks-blog @siimiasoi @livinxdeadxgrl @midwesternwitchery @the-divine-taurus @handspunyarns @st0rmyt @titlee78 @znerac @134340ona @heyheyheygaypay