#traumawriting

[ittybittybralessbitch]

pushed onto my back

i am held

not the way

a mother holds a child

or one holds a friend

no, i am being held

to the ground

i cannot move

i cannot breathe

it hurts, tears slip out,

is this my fault?

if i didn’t want it to happen,

i shouldn’t have let him come over.

it’s my fault

all my fault

no one can know.

i am the hero,

not the damsel in distress

not a word

will escape my lips.

[traumatas]

                                           Word Count: 2125

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Category: M/M

Fandom: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates

Relationship: Leon | Leo/Takumi

Characters: Leon | Leo (Fire Emblem: Fates), Takumi (Fire Emblem)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Synchronized Heartbeats, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rated M for Magic Violence, Established Relationship, No Character Death, Because my friends wouldn't let me

Language: English

Summary:

The concept of Soulmates was supposed to be romantic - the synchronized heartbeats even more.

Yet, the shared bond between two people could easily lead to worry, pain and desperation in the times of war and battle. Nothing hurt more than the last memory of your fated one being their heavy and fear filled heartbeat, followed by complete silence and emptiness.

[neonns]

S C R E A M I N G

actions speak louder then words,

i was screaming.

— EA

[queenofallwitches]

"I don’t know what to say to you except that it tore the heart out of my body saying goodbye to you." - Vita Sackville-West, from a letter to Virginia Woolf dated 28 January 1927 *** Manic hopes and deluded perceptions, drug-fuelled resurrection with legal prescriptions.  A chemical salvation, a reason to live.  A bottomless tomb of prescription drugs; and codependent bliss as together they traversed the hyperspace of abyss. Intellectual stimulation, Venusian Gemini ideals. An endless void, and the forbidden key   Palpable alchemical connection; 777 divine intervention. Suicidal intervention, the atheist meeting God, or the raw shock of her first puppy love. a tender twist of fate to reassemble her core. To make her more.  To prevent her fall from the edge of the wall. She walked through hell. Fallen angel dancing in flame.  Wise and old soul connection compelled her attention.  Scintillating saccharine 5mg diamonds, Initiation to the never-ending tomb of pharmaceutical cures. Her mind fell down a rabbit hole,   Friday night rituals and burning lungs. Carefree seventeen-year-old fun. Brand New and Deftones on repeat. Drug-induced bonding to heal, It felt real. Cryptic riddles laced in scripted tongues.    Connecting over disjointed attachment.    Chemical codependency fuelled their ultra-violent fighting. The best and worst. six months of her life.  Phoenix heart turned from blackened embers to a blazing fire.    A dashing of hope, A dose of beyond,   Reckless self-loathing transcending beyond. broken, lost souls seduced by the devilish temptation beheld by the psychoactive void.  Two lost souls merging for the sacred union.  To piece together childhood torment, to mend the cataclysmic contusion. She loved him with every cracked up morsel of her tormented soul.      Even if his motives were sociopathic. He exhaled raw hope in her direction. "The Game- Neill Strauss ", he confessed, the first thing he did was hand her the book about seduction. Now she knows the deception of this game was the mode of operation that gave her the will to live. An elaborate mind game to fuel her everlasting, eternal flame. The only method to capture her masochistic heart.   A cruel irony dashed with the fragments of his distant memory.

Expulsion from Eden

[pokingholes-cptsdwarrior]

#Repost @traumaandco ・・・ "We may deny that an event occurred, or we may act as though it was unimportant. For instance, when someone we love dies, or when we are injured or violated, we may act as though nothing has happened, because the emotions that come with truly acknowledging the situation are too painful. In addition, dissociation may be experienced as part of the body being disconnected or almost absent. Frequently, chronic pain represents a part of the body that has been dissociated." ~ Peter Levine, Healing Trauma ~ @drpeteralevine ・・・ . . . . . . . . . . . #traumaandco #trauma #complextrauma #connection #community #complexities #compassion #ptsd #complexptsd #cptsd #traumainformed #writing #traumawriting #somaticexperiencing #somatic #traumaresponse #dissociation #dissociated #chronicpain #chronicillness #nervoussystem #pain #emotions #denial #repression #repressedmemory #disconnection #body #embodiment

[meandmymoisl]

Wellenartig. Ich bewege mich wie in Wasser vor und zurück, ohne zu wissen, wo oben oder unten ist. Wellenartig. Werde ich weitergeschwemmt, von einem zum anderen, ohne zu wissen, wann das Land endlich vor mir auftaucht. Mein Kopf ist nur minimal über Wasser. Ständig atme ich Wasser ein, das Salz brennt in meinen Augen. Wellenartig. Strömt es in mir. Um mich herum. Aus mir heraus.

Panik bricht in mir los. Die Wellen nehmen Überhand. Kein Ufer kann mich retten in dieser Trostlosigkeit aus Wasser und Himmel und Wellen. Meine Schreie gehen unter in dem Rauschen und dem Wind und dem Wasser, das mir durch die Nase in die Lungen fließt. Meine Muskeln verkrampfen. Alles ist auf einmal so schwer. Nichts scheint mehr Sinn zu ergeben.

Warum gebe ich nicht einfach auf? Wieso kämpfe ich noch weiter, wo ich doch schon seit einer Ewigkeit weiß, dass kein Land in Sicht kommen wird. Weswegen tauche ich nicht einfach ab, lasse die Wassermassen mich in die Tiefe drücken. Hinab in die Dunkelheit, die Stille und in den Trost.

Meine Nase hängt noch immer über Wasser. Der Husten, der durch das Wasser in meinen Lungen verursacht wurde, wird immer schlimmer. Die Panik kommt stoßweise. Wie die Wellen. Nur ganz anders.

Ich weiß, dass es am Ende kein Entrinnen gibt. Aber das Schiff dort vorne sieht so einladend aus. So hilfsbereit. Ich hoffe nur, dass es nicht nur die Einbildung einer Ertrinkenden ist.

~ Rebecca • • • Follow us for more @words_by.moisl • • •

https://www.instagram.com/p/CChGCV6iHym/?igshid=2c2561uzfrru

[traumatas]

Chapters: 1/2 Fandom: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Achieve Warnings Apply Relationships: Leon | Leo/Takumi Characters: Leon | Leo (Fire Emblem: Fates), Takumi (Fire Emblem), Marx | Xander, Elise (Fire Emblem), Ryoma (Fire Emblem), My Unit | Kamui | Corrin, Asama | Azama Additional Tags: Angst, Amnesia, Anxiety, Panic Attacks (kinda), established Relationship, Happy Ending, Rating may change

Summary: 

Takumi's life had never been fair or easy, but the moment Leo had stepped in it had taken a turn for the better.

He truly believed that - war or not - he had found happiness, security, comfort and love in his nohrian counterpart. Believed that nothing could ever change the utter joy that settled in his chest, whenever his eyes met those of Leo. Leo was the one true constant by his side.

So when one day Takumi realizes that his husband hasn't returned from battle, it felt like his whole world shattered right in front of his eyes.

Life had never been kind to Takumi.

Or in other words: Andrea actually wrote a fanfiction, would you look at that.