#traumapost

[glittergroovy]

[kaftan]

The thing about Amy is that her post-trigger existence is a trolley problem where she’s on the one-person track, having the lever pulled on her. Here is a diagram to illustrate:

[mechanicalmonarchbutterfly]

Surviving is all you owe yourself.

You are here, so you survived.

You are here, so you can survive.

You are here, so you will survive.

You are here. You are a survivor.

All you need to do is survive.

[sleepydollposting]

Imagine, if you will, a doll.

Growing up, it struggled to fit in. it longed for belonging. Watching TV, watching from the balcony, and at school, everywhere it looked, it saw others playing. Laughing. "Look at them having fun, isn't it nice?" it was told.

But it could only watch.

At night, when the loneliness set in the worst, it would open its window. It would look out into the comforting darkness, reaching out its hand. Reaching out for the stars as they danced among each other, so shiny, so inviting.

But it could only watch.

Eventually, it found out why it never fit in, and it found a new space. A space that promised belonging, understanding. For a moment, it was happy, seeing other dolls, watching them interact and show each other love and kindness.

But it could only watch.

It got to see other entities being invited to play. It got to see them find belonging. Find homes. Find partners. It looked within this space, and without, for someone who would see it. All it wanted was to be seen.

But it could only watch.

It found its way into a house for ones like it. Those who were unseen. Those who felt broken. And for a moment, there was hope. But it wouldn't last long. "Look at that doll! Its witch is playing with it, isn't that beautiful? They're having so much fun."

But it could only watch.

Imagine, if you will, a doll. it is trying so hard to remain composed. to hold back those tears. It's trying so hard to find that happiness for others. It's trying so hard to hold on to love, hold on to hope, but its heart is crumbling.

And it can only watch.

[shitcomscriptwriter]

Growing up in and out of psychiatric hospitals and offices really ruins your sense of self.

There was very little I could hide. Every bit of me was picked apart and scrutinised, used as a teaching tool for eager students with no regard for my own feelings or opinions.

I have very few genuine emotions now, because of how many realities were constructed for me and how they presented me like I was their newest accomplishment. No part of my brain was my own.

I am a psychological cyborg.

It feels like they took my humanity and all natural reactions, but I know they didn’t. There is still a human in here, and she is screaming.

[paper-collective]

being a system is so funny because it's like *didn't have a support system?*, "well now you *are* a system".

[wife]

reading about peoples experiences with childhood loneliness on reddit is like wrow... i'm a special girl i see

[ccorinthian]

passive agressively screenshotting this instead of replying directly bc im not about to start a fight over my experiences w having an eating disorder

BUT this is an absurd take i think. im struggling to really make a poignant point about it but it's extremely reductive in what eating disorders can encompass (im no expert myself bar personal experience), but like..... i dont struggle w food bc of my body image or wanting to keep my weight down. i have a very very difficult relationship w eating that triggers when im in stressful situations due to complex trauma. it's got nothing to do w my beliefs in what bodies should look like (none of my business ngl) and a whole lot to do w generally being used to starve && really i dont think that adding shame on top of that like it's some kind of moral conundruum is helpful in any way

[ix-c-999]

i don't know how to be more of a person

[This post has no DNI other than not to involve it in discourse, mockery, or other harassment]

[mangopit]

that post about how illogical it is that parents can beef with their kids. literal children. crazy how i have an old journal where i can read back on the most traumatic experience of my life that has affected me into my twenties and it's just 9yo me, without any of the tools or words to express her emotions, never even used the word "sad". just an explanation of what happened and "i apologized to mom and she apologized back". end of entry. next entry i was talking about this cool new blue pen i had. i didn't even understand. i couldn't have known. jesus christ. it's crazy how life goes sometimes

[glittergroovy]

[mrsmarlasinger]

Nothing like the fear of [REDACTED] as a motivator

[mechanicalmonarchbutterfly]

“My son is perfectly fine”

Ma’am you told your daughter repeatedly never to show pain and discomfort as a child and now she has women your age beat her until she spits blood.

And she’s such a good girl~

[angeltism]

how to erase memories from over 2 years ago that still haunt you today no glue no borax

[goodypowderandacocola]

My body feels so wrong

[aronarchy]

i think transgender ppl have a lot in common with survivors of parental abuse. (beyond just the large statistical overlaps). specifically, when it comes to being nonconsensually assigned a name & identity & role at birth which they don’t allow u to reject later in life, and how they define your self on your behalf according to their norms and wishes, and it feels wrong and off and ugly and is not you, and part of our liberation struggle is to rename & redefine ourselves (refusing to be X child of Y and Z inheriting their names bc they are not associated w/me in any meaningful way. refusing to be the daughter/son bc not me & not true). both seen as a cardinal sin against gender- & age-classed patriarchal obligations wrt identity, both disruptions & fracturing of the nuclear family

(thinking about how thruout my childhood i was disgusted by & wished i could reject my legal name esp bc of the abuse & harm associated w/ (which just furthered the dissonance) and felt like rejecting the abusers as ppl i have to forever define myself alongside + rejecting the assigned gender (role) + rejecting the name(s) are part of the same thing for me)