#trauma moment for mmc

[callsign-rogueone]

Hi Liz! What's your novel about, if you don't mind me asking? I really like all of your work so I was just curious to know about your original writing 💝💝

okay hear me out… I know hockey romances have had their moment in the sun and there’s a gazillion of them out there. and don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy a good “brain off” low stakes modern rom com type book occasionally, but this is… not that.

I’m tempted to say it’s less romance and more like. my main two characters unpacking their similar but different trauma together and starting to recover. but there’s some sex in there too for good measure.

the tldr: FMC is a burnt-out retired Olympic figure skater, who is now cheerleading for her brother’s hockey team and teaching learn to skate classes at their rink. MMC is the new guy on the team, moved here from Germany with no family around so they end up hanging out a lot. he is slowly hatching a plan to build her confidence again and get her back into competition because he knows she can do much more than her current job, and that she would be so much happier there. but of course she retired so early for a reason… hehe

I know social media being in a book gives people the ick sometimes, but as their story revolves around news media and fandom interactions, I want to do something similar to how RY has quotes at the beginning of every chapter, and also include some text messages and parts of news articles about the team, especially for FMC’s brother’s book (which will be an mlm romance with a lot of chronic illness representation 🫶🏻)

this is actually where the girlfriendverse idea started — I have a large cast of couples that interact a lot, and each have their own document with their storylines. I’m trying to pick which gfverse couple these two are most like… idk. but MMC is kinda giving Dain and also Brennan in terms of his family dynamics, though he’s very Liam-coded physically and in terms of his sweet personality 💔

anyway yeah! I guess I could share some of it with y’all if you wanted? because I very highly doubt that I’d ever publish this… idk. maybe I’ll finish it someday and put it on amazon as an ebook for 99 cents lmao

[nikethestatue]

Now the Antis are saying that Aelin giving Chaol the ring back is Elain giving back the necklace to Azriel which is why Gwynriel is endgame and I have never rolled my eyes so hard before!!!!

A woman giving back a present that her endgame gave her because something happened in like the oldest trope in the literature.

"The Unhoneymooners" by Christina Lauren Olive Torres, the FMC, and Ethan Thomas, the MMC, are forced to go on a honeymoon together despite disliking each other at first. Throughout the story, Olive has moments of pushing back against Ethan’s gestures, including rejecting or giving back gifts, but eventually, the couple finds love and ends up together in the end.

"The Hating Game" by Sally Thorne In this enemies-to-lovers office romance, Lucy Hutton returns a gift from Joshua Templeman during a tense moment, symbolizing their antagonistic relationship. As they continue to clash and then grow closer, the couple eventually ends up together, overcoming the initial misunderstandings.

"Fifty Shades of Grey" by E.L. James Anastasia Steele, the FMC, and Christian Grey, the MMC, have a complex relationship full of power dynamics and emotional depth. At one point, Ana gives back a significant gift from Christian (a car) as she tries to regain control of her independence. Despite the challenges, they work through their issues and end up together.

"Beautiful Disaster" by Jamie McGuire In this new adult romance, Abby Abernathy and Travis Maddox have a fiery, tumultuous relationship. Abby returns gifts from Travis at certain points, especially when she’s unsure about her feelings and the direction of their relationship. But by the end of the book, they overcome their challenges and end up together.

"The Deal" by Elle Kennedy In this college romance, Hannah Wells is dealing with the trauma of her past while trying to navigate a fake relationship with Garrett Graham. Garrett gives her a gift, and at one point, she gives it back, signaling her reluctance to fully open up. However, as the story progresses, they both confront their issues, and they end up together in a heartfelt conclusion.

"The Rosie Project" by Graeme Simsion Don Tillman, the MMC, and Rosie Jarman, the FMC, develop an unconventional romance. Don gives Rosie a gift, and there’s a moment when she returns it, highlighting her own internal conflict. Despite their differences, they find their way to each other by the end of the book, embracing their unique relationship.

"Roomies" by Christina Lauren In this romance, Holland Bakker, the FMC, ends up in a fake marriage arrangement with Calvin McLoughlin, the MMC, to help his career. At one point, Holland rejects or gives back a gift from Calvin, signaling her inner turmoil. As they navigate their evolving feelings, they come to realize they love each other, and they end up together.

"Archer's Voice" by Mia Sheridan In this emotional romance, Bree Prescott, the FMC, returns a gift from Archer Hale, the MMC, as she tries to navigate her past and the complicated nature of their relationship. Their emotional journey is filled with misunderstandings, but they ultimately work through their issues and end up together.

You want more? Sure.

"Serpent & Dove" by Shelby Mahurin In this witchy romance, Louise "Lou" le Blanc, the FMC, is forced into a marriage with Reid Diggory, the MMC, as part of a larger conflict between witches and witch hunters. There are several moments where Lou rejects or gives back gifts from Reid due to her reluctance to trust him. However, by the end of the book and the series, their relationship has evolved, and they are together.

"The Bridge Kingdom" by Danielle L. Jensen Lara, the FMC, is sent to marry the MMC, Aren, in a political arrangement. Initially, Lara struggles with the idea of being with Aren, and there are moments where she rejects his gifts or gestures. Over time, she realizes she is falling for him, and their bond deepens. By the end of the book, they’re together, having overcome the tensions and secrets in their relationship.

"The Priory of the Orange Tree" by Samantha Shannon This epic fantasy involves multiple POVs and a slow-burn romance between Tané, a dragon-riding warrior, and various other characters. While the main focus is not solely on the romantic subplot, there are moments where Tané has to reckon with her feelings for those around her, including rejecting or giving back gifts from romantic interests. By the end of the book, characters find resolution and come together.

"The Bone Season" by Samantha Shannon Paige Mahoney, the FMC, and Warden, the MMC, have a complicated and tense relationship, with moments of rejection or emotional distance between them. Warden gives Paige a significant gift, and she must navigate whether or not to accept it. Despite the danger and conflict surrounding them, they end up together by the end of the series, with their relationship deepening.

"Wicked Saints" by Emily A. Duncan In this dark fantasy, Nadya, the FMC, has complicated relationships with the MMCs (Malachiasz and Serefin). While the romance is not the primary focus of the story, there are moments of rejection and emotional tension, including the return of gifts, as Nadya navigates the complex political and magical world around her. Eventually, the relationships evolve, and the couple(s) find resolution by the end.

"Kingdom of the Wicked" by Kerri Maniscalco Emilia, the FMC, and Wrath, the MMC, have a tumultuous romance, full of betrayal, magic, and dark secrets. Emilia returns or refuses gifts from Wrath at different points as she questions his motives and struggles with her feelings for him. The couple works through their emotional struggles and their complex relationship, eventually ending up together by the end of the book.

"The Wrath & the Dawn" by Renée Ahdieh

Premise: This is a retelling of One Thousand and One Nights, where Shahrzad volunteers to marry the Caliph, Khalid, after he’s been executing brides every night. Their relationship is full of tension, with Shahrzad initially rejecting the Caliph’s advances and gifts due to her quest for revenge. Over time, they unravel each other's secrets and develop a deep bond. Despite the dark start, they end up together after overcoming various challenges.

2. "The Queen of the Tearling" by Erika Johansen

Premise: Kelsea Glynn, the FMC, ascends to the throne of a kingdom in turmoil, facing both external threats and her own internal struggles. One of the key romantic subplots is her growing relationship with the Red Queen's former guard, who is a complicated figure in Kelsea’s life. Throughout the book, Kelsea rejects or is uncertain about gifts and gestures, but as the series progresses, the romance develops in parallel with her political challenges, and the couple ultimately finds each other.

3. "Court of Midnight and Deception" by Madeline Martin

Premise: This is a fantasy romance where Lady Rosalind is thrust into the world of court politics and magic when she becomes entangled with Prince Darius, the MMC. As they navigate betrayal and deception, Rosalind struggles with trust, rejecting gifts and gestures from Darius. However, through their shared experiences and growth, they eventually come to be together, realizing their love and commitment.

4. "The Gilded Wolves" by Roshani Chokshi

Premise: Set in a lush alternate history of Paris, this novel follows a group of thieves and scholars, including the main characters, Severin and Laila. There’s a complex romantic tension between Severin and Laila, with some moments where Laila is hesitant to accept his advances or gifts due to her own emotional barriers. The romance evolves as they face personal challenges and unravel a mystery together, with a slow-burn romance that culminates in their union.

5. "The Poppy War" by R.F. Kuang

Premise: While not primarily a romance, The Poppy War features a slow-burn romance between Rin, the FMC, and Altan, a fellow soldier with his own tragic backstory. There are moments where Rin struggles with trusting Altan, rejecting his attempts at gifts or emotional connection, especially as she comes into her power. Their complicated relationship is central to the story, and though the series is brutal, they share a bond that lasts through the turmoil.

6. "A Curse So Dark and Lonely" by Brigid Kemmerer

Premise: This is a Beauty and the Beast retelling where Harper, a modern-day girl, is pulled into the world of Emberfall and meets Prince Rhen. The relationship between Harper and Rhen is tense at first, and there are moments where she is resistant to his attempts at affection, even rejecting gifts. However, as they face the challenges of breaking the curse that holds Rhen’s kingdom in a cycle of repetition, their bond deepens, and they ultimately end up together.

7. "An Ember in the Ashes" by Sabaa Tahir

Premise: Set in a brutal, militarized world inspired by ancient Rome, An Ember in the Ashes follows Laia, a slave, and Elias, a soldier, as they both navigate a dangerous and oppressive regime. There’s a romance that develops between them, with moments of distance and hesitation, particularly when Laia is unsure whether she can trust Elias. They grow closer through their shared struggle for freedom, and despite many hardships, they end up together.

8. "The Hundredth Queen" by Emily R. King

Premise: This fantasy romance features a young woman named Kalinda, who is chosen to be the Hundredth Queen in a kingdom ruled by a tyrant. Kalinda develops a relationship with the king’s general, who initially gives her gifts and treats her with care. There are moments of tension as she navigates her growing feelings for him, but through political intrigue and magical challenges, Kalinda and the general end up together in the end, facing a united future.

9. "Sky in the Deep" by Adrienne Young

Premise: In this Viking-inspired world, the FMC, Eelyn, is a fierce warrior who is forced to fight alongside her enemy clan after her brother’s death. Fiske, the MMC, is from the enemy clan, and while they initially fight each other, their relationship grows through shared experiences and battles. There are moments where Eelyn is resistant to Fiske's attempts at affection or gifts due to their history, but as they learn to trust each other, they ultimately end up together.

10. "Wicked Saints" by Emily A. Duncan

Premise: This dark fantasy novel follows Nadya, a cleric with the power to speak to the gods, and her complex relationship with Malachiasz, a prince with his own dark secrets. There are moments of mistrust, and Nadya gives back gifts or refuses Malachiasz's advances because of their fraught relationship. Despite the political and magical conflicts, they find love and understanding, ending up together despite the odds.

Additional books?

The Love Hypothesis" by Ali Hazelwood

The Kiss Quotient" by Helen Hoang

"The Duke and I" by Julia Quinn 

I think you get the point. Elriel aren't breaking up.

Not to mention, Miss Nesta Archeron rejected Cassian's gift and look at them now!

[sjmgirlie]

"Azriel's darkness this" "Azriel's darkness that"

Is this all people think this character is?

Considering all the instances we have been provided where his friends don't even push him/don't really try and get him to talk to them about pretty much anything, I'd say we don't know much about Azriel at all.

It's the same with any character that we haven't got a POV from. Do we really know Elain well enough to make judgements? Mor even? Not really.

What we understand about their characters is what we have seen/heard in dialogue in other POVs.

The thing I love about Azriel (and Elain for that matter) is that they have been portrayed as fixed. He is a broody and mysterious Shadowsinger that has went through trauma his whole life. Elain has been stifled but shown time and time again that she is not what people think she is. (There is a whole bonus chapter alluding to it that people like to completely forget).

Azriel has darkness, he has shadows, he is broody and doesn't say much. But what else is he from what we have seen?

He is heroic, he is self sacrificing, he deeply cares for the people in his life, and he is actually a good person. Even if he is the Spymaster and torturer of the NC. You know what else we see?

We see him having absolutely no self worth. We see him struggle with feeling inadequate for anyone. Mor has told us this, Azriel has as well in the BC. He feels UNWORTHY.

Why do you think he completely let Elain make the moves in the POV? He doesn't think he is worthy. He doesn't believe himself to be. And Rhys saying "you think you deserve to be her mate?" is literally a knife in the gut for a character like Azriel.

Azriel has shown time and time again that he cares for the females in the books I dare say more than most of the other characters. This is not an accident. This is (I believe) directly correlated with how his mother was treated.

We see countless instances of Azriel proving this with violence, because well, is he a talker like Rhys? No. He carries a lot of self worth in his ability to hurt someone clearly. Of being needed in ways only related to his work and abilities. And don't get me started on imagining what Rhys' father did to him mentally during the time he was under his command.

Yes, Azriel has darkness. But literally EVERY character in this book has darkness. Saying that Azriel's LI is solely determined based off "who can handle the darkness" is placing Azriel's character in a box with no growth. And that's not an SJM character. They all grow.

His LI will help him realize that he is NOT darkness. That there is light in the darkness that he does not see. That he doesn't need to "handle" it or have someone to "handle" it. That Azriel is just AZRIEL. That he doesn't need to be anyone else. He doesn't need to pretend all the time. He doesn't need to wear a mask every moment of his life.

Who looked to him when first meeting him as a comfort? Who did not balk from him? Who has called his scars, which he is insecure about, beautiful? Who noticed his headaches? Who enjoys just sitting in silence while enjoying someones company? Who has been showing Azriel he is wanted?

Read the series again if you don't remember.

Reducing Azriel to darkness is the same thing as reducing Elain to flowers/gardening.

Anyways, a long post again but please don't reduce Azriel to darkness because you are literally just feeding into the actual narrative he holds for himself as shown by the author rather than realizing that's the exact healing journey he is going to take. To realize he isn't just darkness. That he himself has a light.

Edit to add additional thoughts:

Main characters in SJM books, specifically ACOTAR, are always presented in a boxed view until they either get a book or are the MC in one. We got Rhys as the MMC in ACOMAF through feyre’s PoV, and we got Nesta and Cassian in their own.

Complex main characters will not have their healing arcs explored or even completely explained in someone else’s POV. Food for thought.

[acourtofthought]

The e/riel near kiss nearly didn't happened. Had Elain not chosen to deliver his gift to his pile of presents at that moment, he would have never run into her.

And that means Az would have continued on as he had for the last year, choosing to jerk off to the image of banging her instead of actually.... oh I don't know, asking her out on a date or something? Trying to spend time with her in real life instead of being content with relegating her to a sexual object in his fantasies?

There was nothing stopping him from spending time with her, getting to know her on a deeper level. Absolutely nobody stopped them the previous Solstice so why exactly did he turn around and avoid her after that? Because he couldn't handle her bond? Is that a MMC doing right by a FMC? It tortured Rhys to see Feyre with Tamlin knowing they were sleeping together and engaged yet he still chose to spend those weeks with her, encouraging her to train, teaching her how to read.

Az put himself first, he didn't put Elain first. Not her well-being after the death of her father, during her fights with Nesta, after her own admission that she still has trauma.

Az chose to treat her only as a sexual object for an entire year over trying to be her friend.

And really, that's all I need to know about why he's not worthy to be Elain's endgame.

[phantomdialogue]

˗ˏˋ. ݁₊ ✶ ˖ 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐢𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝟒.𝟓/𝟓 ☆ . ݁ ˖ˎˊ˗

chestnut springs book two

premise: willa grant needs a job for the summer. cade eaton needs a nanny for his son for the summer. he’s just going to have to try not to fall for her when she fills the position almost too perfectly.

couple: cade eaton and willa grant

tropes: single dad x nanny, age gap (not crazy big but referenced a lot), forced proximity, grumpy x sunshine, small town boy/big city girl

available on kindle unlimited

review below!

review:

i have never been one for kids in real life or in my books but i fell in love with this book and the kid in it so fast. i don’t even know where to begin. cade eaton may just be the dilf of all dilfs at this point…. i can’t believe i just wrote that. i loved cade and all of his complexities. i think that’s something that i’m noticing about elsie silver’s writing is that she really doesn’t write one dimensional characters. even the more “side characters” or characters who aren’t the current focus have so many layers to peel back and explore. for example, jasper, the mmc for the next book, got teased a lot toward the end of this book and all of the little snippets she gave about him just made me want to learn more because he’s not just a cardboard cut out of a character when it’s not “his book”.

the way she wrote cade’s insecurities and trauma really made it resonate with me as a reader because she didn’t just state them and walk away. she dove into them and explaining how it affected everything and how it continues to affect him throughout the book. she did the same with willa. even with luke, he may be five years old but she treated him like a living human kid who has emotions about his single dad and their situation rather than just slapping a funny kid character on the page and calling it a day.

something about this book and its characters really endeared me so much more than flawless did and i couldn’t put this book down. cade and willa will live happily in my mind for years and i hope they live happily ever after on that ranch with luke causing them trouble for years to come.

q & a:

are they endgame? - if cade and willa aren’t endgame, i’d be incredibly confused. i feel like even with their age gap, they have a strong enough sense of who they are as individuals and what they need from each other that their communication is strong enough to last.

did i cringe? - i feel like this one had way fewer “cringey” dialogue moments than flawless and had only a few lines that used more slang terms (like slay and such) that felt out of place. but the dialogue specifically in this one felt a lot smoother and mature

favorite part? - the dynamic between cade, willa, and luke. hands down. i think she nailed it on the head with that. the three of them just make this perfect pact and at the same time, they all have their faults. every pairing within the three of them felt so natural and real to read about that it makes you fall in love with them so quickly and i truly could read a few more books just about them.

least favorite part? - hmmmm. this is hard actually (which is nice in a way haha). i think if i had to choose a least favorite part, it would be the fact that we didn’t get to see willa bond with the family as much as we saw summer bond with them in flawless. with this being such a family oriented series, i was expecting willa to get more of a relationship with harvey and rhett but it felt like a lot of the focus was strictly on willa and cade (and luke). i still loved what it was but i think a little extra about her connecting with the family a little more.

favorite quotes (some spoilers here, of course, but minimal):

I’m here counting all the ways in which she’s a problem for me, and she’s just excited to be here and take care of my child.

It seems like the universe could have granted some sort of reprieve. But it granted me Willa fucking Grant.

How hard would it be to smile more, to laugh more, if it made her look this happy?

“The way I see it, I like you a little more every day.”

She’s a spark in the dark. Dancing flames against a midnight sky.

I want to turn that spark into a whole damn fire so this girl goes out and does what she wants with her life.

“It’s two people who were both a little lost until they ended up on the same path and walked together for a while.”

Eyes shut, I wish for Willa. A life with her. A family with her. Gray hair and more laughter with her.

[draftinglettersss]

the scene after ~ bitter revenge

a scene about rage, guilt, grief, and the one person who stays

a lil background:

the fmc—avina—is a troubled, orphaned teen bent on avenging for her parents. when she seemingly finds the one responsible, she takes action.

the mmc—nathaniel—is not-so-secretly in love with her. he wants to show her it’s okay to be vulnerable and be the one beside her when the world comes crashing down.

word count: 1.3k

TW: violence, blood, trauma, implied murder, emotional breakdown, cursing, knife, threats (I hope there’s not more😭)

I stumble back. Bright red blood pours out in pulses from his neck. His shirt and blazer soak it up like a sponge. It spreads fast. Too fast.

He makes a sound and my breathing stops. I feel my insides tighten and I suddenly feel sick.

I—I—

I can't look at him.

I somehow find my way out of the horror room. I don't think about professor Vassilis still standing there. Not about the dagger I'm still clutching, soaked in blood. Only about the blood and the air that can't get to my lungs.

I stumble and raise a steadying hand to the wall. My legs shake. They'll give out any moment.

But I can't breathe.

I have to get out of here.

So I force my legs to move. My heavy steps echo in the empty dark halls. The corridor seems longer and tighter than before. I try not to sway but I'm getting dizzy with sickness.

I pass the rest of the team but I don't care—not even when they enter the hallway, confused. As long as I walk fast enough they might not see what I've done.

I see the exit. I need to—

Footsteps. Firm clink of boots.

“Avina.” Nathaniel’s soft voice calls.

Why? Why is he here? He can't see this. I don't want him to. He shouldn’t.

Not him. Not now. Not this.

“Go away.” My voice sounds distant. It cuts like steel through the cool air. I force my legs to move faster.

I push open the door and don't turn to look back. Instead I walk. I don't want to acknowledge what happened. I don't want to go back there. I can’t go back. I—

The door shuts with a careful thud. I turn around and clearly make out his silhouette even in the moonlight.

“Go back.” I shout and point to the warehouse. My hand shakes but my voice doesn’t. I turn around so I don't have to look at him. Cross my arms, as if that’d protect me from falling apart in front of him. My fingers somehow still hold the murder tool.

I don't want him to see me like this.

“Go!” The two syllables rumble out of me like a roar. My tone is sharp, cutting, final.

And yet.

Nothing.

I hear nothing.

No retreating steps. No defeated sigh. No nothing.

“For God’s sake, Nathaniel, LEAVE!” The scream ripped out of me with force enough to leave me shaking. I bellowed, turning to shove the words at him. My shoulders were stiff with tension. Nails digging and leaving halfmoons on my plams. Hair, whipping the air with my sudden movement.

“No.” Just that. Quiet, firm and impossibly irritating.

He’s so stubborn. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I settle for the first option and huff a bitter chuckle, taking a few steps towards him.

I’m inches away from him. My head tilts back slightly to look up at his face. Him and his stupid height. I look at him with what I want to be hatred. With what I know would scare someone off.

I raise the dagger. My eyes don’t move from his. His don’t even flinch.

“Do you see this?” I speak low. He doesn’t even spare a glance at the weapon. My teeth grind together so hard it ached. I make a small move, closer to his face. “Do you know what this is?”

A muscle in his jaw twitches. He is holding back. But I don't want him to hold back. I want him to turn around and realise, once and for all, that I'm not worth it.

I throw the dagger straight to the ground but I don't care anymore. Irritation simmers under my skin like a pressure cooker on the verge of bursting. I am shaking with it.

I look at him like I want to hurt him when I know I don’t. I’m trembling with the urge to push him away, to make him forget. But he just has to be so Goddamn stubborn.

His eyes sharpen. Good.

“It’s blood.” I spat, closely observing his reaction. So close that we were breathing the same air. “Real—still warm—human blood.”

I watch him. But he makes no reaction. Again.

I take a step back. “Is this what you want next to you?” My arms spread and I actually laugh. “Is this what you imagined?” Two feet distance sat between us like a threat, a line I dared him to cross. “A mess. A disgrace. A murderer…bloodthirsty for revenge.” I pause to watch him. Then slowly move to close the distance again. “A sad, bitter girl ready for anything in the name of her parents.”

I'm so close that he has to look down to meet my gaze. So close that I can feel the warmth radiating off him. So close that I have this fleeting treacherous urge to lean in.

“Is this what you want?” I ask softly, almost nicely.

His eyes are warm. He looks at me like he sees the good parts of me that he believes are there. But that makes me even more irritated. Because that girl is gone. Non-existent. Dead.

I push him. “Answer me!” My shout pierces through the dead of night and echoes off the sky. He stumbles back but quickly regains his balance. His eyes find me again almost just as fast.

And now my breathing is heavy again. The furious tremble has returned to my limbs. My eyes are wild and my hair is probably a mess. But I don't care. I corner him.

“I just sliced a man’s fucking throat, Nathaniel. I watched him bleed out in the rhythm of a heartbeat, staining his suit in dark bright red. And I enjoyed it.” I watched him like I believed it. “Because it was coming for him. Long. Time. Overdue.” I glare at him, hating the still look in his eyes and that damn softness there that hasn’t faltered when I have to force myself to stay upright because I can feel my knees wanting to give in to gravity.

Yet, I step even closer.

Because I want to be dangerous and I want him to see that I am. My voice lowers. “Do you think I can’t do that the same to you? Do you believe I’ll be merciful?” I say, “Do you even realise what exactly I’m capable of?” I stare straight into the depths of his unflinching gaze, daring him to oppose me, begging for him to leave.

“You once said my eyes were haunting blue.” He rasps and my shield shatters. “If you want them to haunt you—go ahead.” His calm broke me.

Stop.

Stop. I said to the tremble in my limbs.

Don't be weak. Don't be weak. Don’t—

But I can't look at him anymore.

My face turns ugly now that I'm not facing him. Lower lip trembling, teeth sinking in to make it stop. Eyes burning and lids falling to block the tears from spilling. But I can’t make it stop.

Blood.

So much blood.

My knees can't stand the weight of it and I fall to the ground. An ugly sob breaks away from me and I want to dissappear from the face of the Earth. I want the ground to swallow me up. I want it to end—this grief, this pain, this guilt—

A hand shyly touches my back. He is right next to me. His arm slowly, hesitantly snakes around my shoulders. And it's probably because of the blur of the tears or the piece of me that broke but I bury myself in his chest holding onto the cotton of his shirt like a lifeline. Clutching onto the only piece of safety I’ve known.

His arms tighten around me, pulling me closer to him and I break even more. I'm a mess of sobs and tears and I loathe it. Because if he pulled away I wouldn't survive it.

likes, comments or reposts would be greatly appreciated. I’d love to know what you guys think!

I am aware it might need work. just don’t be too harsh when giving feedback. please 🤍

[elainsgirl]

Hey, never asked such questions before. But I need an opinion about Gwynriel. They say “can’t wait for Gwynriel/Elucien” book

But it doesn’t make any sense. I mean, okay. If Elain/Azriel’s, which makes the most sense to make them MCs, ends up with Elucien (bc we’re looking at this possibility), how could it be Gwynriel’s book?? To make Azriel the MMC again?

I mean we have three books after ACOWAR:

1. ACOSF

2. Elain/Lucien/Azriel

3. Either a novella or Mor’s book

I can understand that Azriel’s story could be not finished like it happened with Nesta’s. Even though making him a MC again is ridiculous. Besides, no offense to Gwyn, but Mor’s story is far more mysterious and fascinating.

Gwyn’s plot line being about “who her father is” is so stupid. Because it is Lucien’s story, just like discovering his inherited powers lol. I wish Gwyn to overcome her SA trauma, but Lucien was also raped. Like the majority of SJM’s characters 💔 Getting out of the library and exploring the world? Well, Elain always wanted to travel, come on

Gwyn has her own journey to make, her growth, and bringing a very traumatized old men (who can’t even decide between Mor and Elain, moving to Elain; but he’ll forget it all for the sake of a woman he forgot about and cared no more than any other female?? Even Eris is more special for him😂) for long life relationship is gonna be beneficial for her?

Thank you for listening for this rant 🙏🏻

Hey anon 🫶

The way some Gwynriels have planned it - A gwynriel book is next then it will be an elucien book last to close out the trilogy. They say this bcs, Acosf focused on Azriel and he was also part of hofas + got his own bonus all signs pointing to his pov being next. Now ofc, the logical conclusion is that Elain will share that book with Azrie but apparently Gwyn popping up in the bonus and appearing a lot in acosf means she will have the next book with Azriel, instead of Elain. Ofc Elucien would be last - despite two bonuses focusing on Elain and Mass saying acosf had hints for Elains book, as it does not make sense to have Luciens pov next since SF placed such little focus on him.

Some eluciens believe an elucien book is next despite that making 0 narrative sense and a gwynriel book last which again, makes no sense bcs Az was given a bonus now meaning his pov is next, not Luciens. SF set Az up to be the next lead, not the lead after Lucien. In acosf, we learn more about Azriel and his current issues/problems that will ofc be explored in the next book otherwise there was no need for Mass to bring it up now. So whichever way you look at it, a gwynriel book being last or an elucien book being last makes 0 logical sense.

You’re right. Mor has a more fascinating story and as she was given a pov in the novella Its clear Mass wants to focus on her, I would not be suprised if the last book is a Mor book. Or if we get her novella after the next book before we get acotar 6. OMG you’re so right! Gwyns story is basically a Lucien story but Luciens more connected to the plot therefore it makes more sense to give him a book then Gwyn. Gwyn has had her main story, she’s found friends whose dynamic Mass has explored, a role in the NC etc. Whilst there is some mystique around her - nothing is that important that we need her story right now, a novella for Gwyn further down the line is so fitting.

Yh, Gwyn deserves better then Az as a Li. I mean…he was literally ready to beg on his knees for another woman. Gwyn deserves someone that wanted her from the start, someone that only wants her and hasn’t had any significant moments with any other woman….Tarquin seems so fitting for her. The summer and ocean imagery around Gwyn matches Tarquin. Both being associated w teal, blue and white. A prince and a nymph. Their love story has so much potential I hope Mass doesn’t pass up.

I’m always down to listen to any rant 🫶

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Every week I will post various reviews I've written so far in 2024. You can check out my Goodreads for more up-to-date reviews HERE. You can friend me on Goodreads here.

Have you read any of these? What were your thoughts?

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313. Daydream by Hannah Grace--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

DAYDREAM gave me something that the last book in this series didn't: similar vibes to ICEBREAKER. And while this makes a lot of sense as to why some people didn't like this one and ICEBREAKER but loved the second book, I am the complete opposite because I LOVED ICEBREAKER.

Much like the first book in this series, there was some great communication and mutual understanding. There was an understanding about mental health and understanding boundaries. Despite both characters coming in with anxious personalities, they were both incredibly good at working together (even though the FMC definitely needed therapy for her people pleasing that grew from trauma.)

I'm glad that our beloved MMC was able to find someone who understood him and I'm glad our overworked and new to us FMC was able to find solace in her love interest, especially after that toxic af ex-boyfriend.

There was some great representation in this about how everyone learns differently, some diversity in the characters, that there is beauty in different body types, and that everyone has a different way of handling stress. And strangely enough, even though the two MCs had good communication between each other, it was shown how difficult communication CAN be when you feel like everyone is pressuring you to communicate.

And while the friends to lovers dynamic was awesome, that spice was SPICY. Loved the consent and the way the MMC respected the FMC's decisions and went at her pace.

I also really appreciated Grace's note on how some people choose to live their lives undiagnosed because it's true--sometimes finding coping mechanisms to help you day to day feels like enough.

I'm excited to see what's next in this universe!

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314. Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata & Ginny Tapley Takemori (Translator)--⭐️⭐️⭐️

Reading this after EARTHLINGS made me notice a few things about this author. Both MCs deal with social ostracizing and emotional dissociation. Both meet men who meet their "freak" and then takes it to the next level, and both have families that exert a concerning level of control over the MC.

There's is a trend. And like I told my friend, I'm glad I read this after EARTHLINGS because in seeing these connections, it's helped me understand how we got from this--an emotionless woman who mimics those around her in order to maintain her status as "part of society"--to the nightmarish events of EARTHLINGS.

CONVENIENCE STORE WOMAN, on the surface, is a simple story of a woman who finds comfort in her part-time job working in a convenience store. When she meets a man who wants to "leave the stone age" and find himself a sugar mama (not said in so many words), that's when she starts to question the life she's made for herself. And I'll be honest, I'm happy with what she ends up doing in the end--it was a nice full circle moment (kind of like how EARTHLINGS had a bizarre full circle moment as well).

One of the things I do like about Murata's writing is her commentary on society. Her writing may be a bit odd and off-putting, but having her characters be outsiders really offers insight into how role-obsessed and behaviour-obsessed society is. If you don't have a partner and a child, have you truly succeeded in life? If you don't have an office job or "adult job", have you truly succeeded? If you don't fit the standards of what it means to be "normal", can you ever really fit in? Even though it's done in a roundabout way, Murata explores and celebrates these differences in CONVENIENCE STORE WOMAN. By putting her anti-social MCs beside her societally acceptable characters, we get to see just how different they are and since we usually only get the POV of the anti-social character, we truly get to see how odd normality might seem to someone who finds it an impossible goal.

Or maybe this was just a novella with some really weird and obsessive characters. But I choose to think that there is more to Murata's writing--especially when I'm seeing parallels in two characters from two wholly different works of fiction.

I still want to read more of her work, if only to see what other similarities her future characters will have. Also, I think that this being a commentary on Japanese society (which I am not a part of) makes it even more fascinating because so much of it can also be applied to Western society.

I'd recommend this if you want a small bite of a book with some pretty big concepts and underlining topics. If you want to subject yourself to EARTHLINGS, I weirdly recommend reading that before this.

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315. Same Time Next Summer by Annabel Monaghan--⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

After reading my first Annabel Monaghan novel earlier this year, I decided that I must read more of her work and, as expected, SAME TIME NEXT SUMMER didn't disappoint. One of the things I absolutely enjoy about this author's writing is how the pacing of the story completely steals your attention and you can't help but fall head first into the romance and connection between the characters.

As I'm writing this review, I am blasting STICK SEASON and I'm realizing that it would have been the perfect song for these two characters when they first broke up when they were teenagers. While I DO wish we had a bit more time to settle into this lost and heartbreak, there were still instances throughout the book where the tension between them was palpable--even though there was someone else in the middle.

And I have such a complicated relationship with books that have love triangles. Sometimes the characters end up with a wholly new person, but sometimes I'll encounter ones like the one in SAME TIME NEXT SUMMER, where the love was just interrupted for a few years and it is a no-brainer where the story is going to go. I liked seeing how awkward the FMC was around her childhood love and I liked how he was acting all nonchalant, but you knew he was sort of dying on the inside.

What I did really enjoy about this one is that the relationship grew organically--it wasn't too quick or disrespectful, it happened organically and over some time where the FMC struggled when coming to terms with who she had become and who she wanted to be.

One of the things that took me a bit to get used to was the back and forth of the past and present, especially because the narrative voice changed from first person to third person and we got the MMC's perspective. I was NOT a fan of the reason for the breakup and how it all was resolved (the situation not the breakup). Call me pessimistic and in desperate need of therapy, but I don't think it could ever be that simple.

That being said, this was one of those romances you'd definitely want for the beach. It wasn't life-changing, but it was nicely paced, just the right length to stay entertaining, and was cute enough that it would go great with some summer sunshine, that salty beach water, and memories made with family on the sand (or by the pool).

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316. Secret of the Water Dragon by Tracey West & Damien Jones (Illustrator)--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I will probably not continue with this series after this one, but I still thought this one was adorable! I loved that there is so much exploration of other cultures. I think it's so important to see this in books for younger readers!

I think this is also the book in the early years of the series where you really start to learn a bit more about the lore of the world. We also got to learn more about the other characters. I can see why so many littles are absolutely loving this series--it's adventurous, full of empathy, and honestly, I can see it being challenging enough for younger readers that it keeps them hooked--especially because it doesn't use overly childish and simple words. Plus, it has adventures and is a cohesive story.

Now I feel more confident when recommend this series to some of my little customers!

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317. Cherry Magic! Volume 12 by Yuu Toyota--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I love how these two support each other and how we see their imperfections. It's one of the things I've always loved about them and as the series progresses, they only get better and better at it--especially because they get to know more about each other.

And I liked the second couple in this because we will finally see them facing the truth! I'm excited to see where their story takes them, especially because of that cliffhanger. I think it's definitely going to take a bit of work to get that couple to their happy ending.

Basically, this whole volume was great for the communication between the couples and because we got to see the dynamics of each couple. I

don't know how many more volumes there will be, but I wonder how Toyota will bring everything together by the end!

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318. The Beauty of Us by Farzana Doctor

I received a copy of this book from the publisher

THE BEAUTY OF US was a book with many different layers. Being set in the 80s alone offered some intriguing commentary, especially because the main cast of characters were very diverse--which I can only imagine what life was like back then as a minority. Another great layer was the dark academia atmosphere that was haunted by the ghost of a past teacher and a life-altering mystery that has some powerful consequences. I found that THE BEAUTY OF US would make a great Autumn read, to be completely honest.

One of the strongest parts of this book was that it was written in multiple perspectives, giving us a very rounded sense of what was happening. We not only got to learn about the different experiences had in this school, but we also were given insight into how the big mystery of the book eventually affected these characters in different ways.

Another strong part of THE BEAUTY OF US were the core themes of the book surrounding families (found and biological), tradition, language, race, and culture. This school was such a wonderful collection of students from all over the world and since it's set in a small Canadian town in the 80s, I was surprised. But there are obviously moments of racism and one particular character just being a vile person--however, I also understand that she was a teenager and a product of her upbringing and who she surrounded herself with.

THE BEAUTY OF US straddles that fine line of young adult and adult--sometimes veering a little more into the adult side. Some of the topics, like the inappropriate relationship between two characters that is an abuse of power, may be a bit on the older side BUT I also think it's important for teens to read these stories. They might find parallels in their own experiences--not just in the inappropriate relationship, but in how they perceive themselves when surrounded by others who don't look like them or come from similar backgrounds.

Read this if you like dark academia set in the 80s that features a lot of diversity, multiple POVs, and deeper topics that might straddle that line between young adult and new adult.

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319. The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book is so outside my usual preferred genres that I didn't know what to expect. I've had it on my shelves for YEARS, but finally gave in when I saw the audiobook at the library. And let me tell you, I was SURPRISED. Although it wasn't perfect, I enjoyed the hell out of this book. I loved that the island was like a character in itself and it demanded to be written about!

I don't know how Mary Ann Shaffer did it, but she managed to add so much emotion and character into an epistolary novel. Even though the beginning of the book took me some time to get into, I found myself sinking into the story as it progressed. I wanted the MC to succeed in her story searching adventures, but I especially became invested when she was mailed a letter from one of the members of the society.

I do this thing with books that have romance where I try to guess who will be the eventual capturer of the MC's heart and I immediately knew who he would be in this one, mainly because the other option was someone who promised to be the snuffer of the MC's fire. I despised that man, but also know he was a product of his time.

One of the things I wasn't expecting with this book was how emotionally invested I would get with these many lives. They had so much tragedy happen to them, but they still tried to make the best of their situation and were such a welcoming community. The MC's struggle with keeping her identity in a world that wanted her to get in line was also another great surprise. She had such a powerful personality and was surprisingly progressive with one of her best friends.

There were hilarious moments, heartwarming moments, heartbreaking moments, and that reveal at the end was actually hilarious and so feasible. I also thought it was a timely read (for me) because it made me think about a few things happening in present time. But that's a different topic not making its way into this review.

I highly recommend this book--especially if you want a historical novel written in a unique way, full of heart, great characters, and the softest and most understated romance that sneaks up on both you as the reader and the MC. I definitely see myself reading this again in the future.

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320. I'll Have What He's Having by Adib Khorram--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'LL HAVE WHAT HE'S HAVING was quite the experience. Coming from Khorram's incredible YA duology, it was definitely an adjustment because of how spicy this book was, aha. But beyond that, I knew I would enjoy this because Khorram's writing is incredible and full of emotion.

I like how neurotic both characters were about relationships and the past pain they felt with old loves, but how they overcame their anxiousness to give their love a shot. This is why I love dual POVs so much, because I NEED to know where both minds are at--especially when we are shown a situation that always needs a little more context and behind the scenes thought processes. I don't like having to guess what a person is thinking in real life, so it's nice not to have to do it in literature, too.

This is the second book in less than two months that I've read with a wine theme and it was so fascinating. I know the wine world is a complex one, but seeing them in fiction was interesting. Especially the processes and difficulty levels of attaining recognition in that world. But with the wine came the interesting factoids about food and its connection to culture, and family and how some things are completely intertwined.

I also liked the side characters and I think I'd be okay with a companion novel from the POV of a different character--especially the one character who is dating someone that the MC is iffy about. Left me curious and side-eyeing that situation.

Overall, this was SPICY, full of heart, and rounded by Khorram's expert navigation of family and culture. Highly recommend.

___

Happy reading!

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

[ Insta ]

🦇 When the World Tips Over Book Review 🦇

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

❓ #QOTD What's your favorite book about siblings (if you don't have one, you NEED to pick up a book by Jandy Nelson)? 🦇 Years ago, the Fall kids’ father mysteriously disappeared, cracking the family into pieces. Dizzy sees spirits, Miles hides the truth of himself behind the guise of perfectionism, and Wynton is on the brink of fame or self-destruction. When an enigmatic rainbow-haired girl shows up, she tips the Falls’ world over. She might be an angel. Or a saint. Or an ordinary girl. Somehow, she is vital to each of them. But before anyone can figure out who she is, catastrophe strikes, leaving the Falls more broken than ever. And more desperate to be whole. With road trips, rivalries, family curses, love stories within love stories within love stories, and sorrows and joys passed from generation to generation, this is the intricate, luminous tale of a family’s complicated past and present. And only in telling their stories can they hope to rewrite their futures.

💜 Jandy Nelson has done it again, weaving magic into every word while creating an intricate, profound, heart-claiming story of family and love. Each of the Falls siblings is so well-developed, so vivid that the heart-aching loss for their father cries off the page, their passions bleeding color into every chapter. And yet, you can't fully know Dizzy, Miles, or Wynton without seeing them from their siblings' point of view--proving that sometimes, those we love know us better than we know ourselves. This story is told in a seamless blend of present and past, family histories & different perspectives overlapping. I fell in love with each character perhaps in the way they loved one another--Cassidy most of all, whose storytelling is captivating, enthralling, dizzying all at once. The word choice is flawlessly executed, giving each character a heartbeat, every heartbreak leaving fissures in their wake. It was beyond worth waiting a decade for another Jandy Nelson book; a story that has bled so much color into my world as a reminder of what well-written prose and character development can be when a passionate writer is at the helm. Despite this story's generational trauma, the love and joy found between the characters, the LOVE built between moments of pain, transcends all else. It tips over.

💙 There are a few trigger warnings you should be aware of before diving into this tender tale: abandonment, addiction/alcoholism, car accident, death, grief, homophobia, infidelity, mental illness, physical abuse, rape/sexual assault.

🦇 If you read one book I've recommended this year, let it be this one. Let Dizzy, Miles, Wynton, and their angel into your heart. This is not a YA book; it's a would-be classic that transcends time and genre. Recommended for fans of Rainbow Rowell, Casey McQuiston, and Becky Albertalli.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🎻 Siblings/Family Secrets 🌈 Multiple POVs / Timelines 🍇 Rivalries 🥧 Magical Realism 🪽 Family Curse 🍇 Queer MMC 🌈 Poetic Prose 🎻 Mental Health Rep

🦇 Major thanks to the author @jandy.nelson and publisher @randomhouse @penguinteen for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #WhentheWorldTipsOver

💬 Quotes ❝ Their eternity was only each other. ❞ ❝ Her mother...once told Dizzy that it used to be believed a white truffle was made when lightning hit and entered an ordinary mushroom. That’s how Dizzy thought of Wynton— unlike the rest of the ordinary mushrooms like her, he had lightning inside him. ❞ ❝ Deep garnet color, hints of cherries, roses, has you talking to the moon and the moon talking right back, pairs well with heartbreak, makes you feel so in love you might ask strangers to marry. ❞ ❝ He decided this would have to be the one slow dance in the history of humankind that never ended. No matter if asteroids careened down, wars broke out, earthquakes toppled cities, the two of them would still, in a thousand years, be here by this river, in starlight, under the redwood trees, swaying together, more one than two, because he suddenly somehow knew deep in his heart that this girl was the kingdom, and for once in his stupid screwed-up life, he was the one who had the keys. ❞ ❝ And now she’s saying someone named Felix, who drove with her down to Paradise Springs, had called her Scheherazade, the Persian queen in A Thousand and One Nights who saved her own life by telling stories. She says she plans on keeping you alive in the same way— by telling you her story. You hope that means her story is a long one and she’ll stay by your side forever. ❞ ❝ She also writes in a journal. When I ask her what she’s writing, she says she’s trying to crash into infinity with words. ❞ ❝ I never want her to know that a life is an abandoned unfinished story. ❞ ❝ There’s an invisible artery joining the hearts of mothers and daughters through which pain is transferred from one generation to the next. ❞ ❝ She didn’t know what people were supposed to do with the leftover love that no one wanted anymore. ❞ ❝ A real love story is not falling in love once, but again and again through all sorts of incarnations. Theirs was a real love story. ❞ ❝ He was the guy full of voltage and fury, who blew the lids off jars, who walked into a room and electrocuted all present. ❞ ❝ Who knew one kiss could turn someone into a brand-new person? ❞ ❝ I do believe now that when the world tips over, joy spills out with all the sorrow. But you have to look for it. ❞

[azsazz]

MM Feedback Shared

(for those who wanted me to share the MM feedback, here we are!)

Thank you to everyone who shared feedback with me, really great stuff in here that I've taken notes and and will work to incorporate in the future edits of MM! 💙💙

Anon Feedback 1: MM feedback here☺️ it feel rude to me to like give you feedback because who am I but i sending one in because I love you and want to read a book from you😍 My absolute favourite scenes are the ones in the gallery, it’s so fucking beautiful and a perfect turning point in the story. Another thing that I think someone already mentioned, I think there needs to be like more scene of Azriel with case and Rhys so it can like build his character more and we can connect to him even more than we did! Love you!! Thank you for giving us place for giving you feedback and not like getting mad about it ❤️

Not rude at all! Especially because I asked for feedback! YES, LOVE LOVE LOVE the gallery scene, will def be keeping that around for the book and maybe brushing it up a little. I agree, more friendship things with Rhys and Cass, got it! Thank you for the feedback!! 💙

Anon Feedback 2: Following Midnight Muse feedback First of all I just wanted to say that I loved the series with my whole heart, I probably read every chapter less than five minutes after it’s release and ATE it up every single time. The only thing that felt somewhat off to me was the pacing, especially toward the end of the series. You did such a good job of making them dislike each other that it felt like they got together a bit too quickly and worked out all their issues a little too perfectly. I feel like for the final product I would have reader and Az apologize to each other a little earlier on the grounds of doing better for their friends. Maybe even have someone from the friend group make a bigger deal of the strain this war, about what in the grand scheme of things is not a big deal, is doing to their friendship as a whole. Similar to what Rhys did with Az. After that I would have things like the ride home scene little moments of them trying their best to find a common ground. Have them, begrudgingly, realize that they actually do kind of enjoy each other’s presence. After a tentative peace is managed THEN have them go to the gallery etc etc. You could even put in some healthy arguments, two people who were constantly at each others throats for months won’t suddenly agree on everything immediately just because they like each other, if you would like i personally would’ve liked to have seen them argue and then be like “we need to step away and rehash this calmer”. Also this is a side note, I would’ve liked to have seen Az actually give reader the tattoo. I liked the choice to have it at the end but personally I was waiting for it all series and was a bit sad we didn’t get to read about it but maybe that was just me. Ik once it’s a book you’ll have more time to further flesh out things, and I truly did LOVE reading along. You’re a fantastic writer and I hope this doesn’t come across as overly critical bc that is not my intent. Looking forward to what this project will become ❤️

Good call, I will def work on the pacing. I think I felt a bit rushed and also I was like like how do I write them together when all I know is to write them disliking each other 😅 that was definitely tough for me so i will work on that! Everything you said is such great feedback, thank you so so much for sending me your thoughts! I'm excited to work on it some more and hopefully put out a great piece of work!

Anon Feedback 3: I think if you're looking to publish MM, it needs more of a plot - and I don't mean that in a bad way. I just feel like there weren't really any stakes besides the main characters getting together. You had interesting ideas, like introducing the father as a potential problem, but that didn't really go anywhrre. You could really dig into your MMC overcoming his trauma, however that looks in a published version, and the FMC overcoming her insecurity - which was kind of hinted at but never explored and when it was resolved, I felt like it didn't really...matter much. Like it wasn't relevant as much to the plot? I would encourage you to explore more, dig deeper, figure out a problem or two for them to overcome. As fanfic, I really liked it, for whatever that's worth.

I totally agree with you. I mentioned her imposter syndrome but it was definitely something backseat to their relationship. Will def be fixing that and brining in their family dynamics as well. Thanks!

Anon Feedback 4: ahh it’s my first time sending one of these i’m nervous😬😬(response to this) but OH MY GOD i ADOREDDD midnight muse, i very rarely read series when i read on here but i honestly used to refresh your blog nearly every day looking forward to new chapters your writing is honestly amazing, if you go ahead with this and release it as a book im going to end up with about 10 copies honestly😭😭🤍– it’s very very hard to think of criticisms of this series because of how much i honestly adored it, but if it had to have any id ask for maybe more detail regarding azriel’s family and what exactly happened with his dad buying the apartments, and everyone’s reactions to that. i honestly think you should ofc do what you love with it, judging by the fact you’re making it into a book and also as a reader, i feel like you can really tell that it was something you enjoyed to write and i feel like that made it even more special to read ??? id love to see that come through in the book so please don’t make any changes that you’re not going to enjoy writing🤍🤍and also the whole few parts where he takes her to the art gallery and she sees all of his drawings was just so unbelievably perfect i’d love it if you could keep that the same – overall it was an AMAZING read, if midnight muse has one fan it is me if it has none i am dead, if you turn this into a book i just know it would be so special i hope this was helpful and thank you for being an amazing author !!!🤍🤍🤍

First of all, thank you so so much for the support! It was so much fun and I was with the rest of you, anticipating the next part as if I wasn't the one writing it lol. Yeah, I thought of his dad being a more of a problem later on and it definitely shows, so I will be working on that more during the rewrite process. very excited to explore their personal lives more! This was very helpful, thank you so much for sending me feedback!! 💙

Anon Feedback 5: Hi! I loved Midnight Muse and started reading it when you first posted so my feedback might actually not be amazing for the earlier chapters but I defo agree with the father/az comment on your post and I'm sure your plan is to expand on Cassian/Lucien's personal issues but that would be welcomed as well I think!! Also - and this is a very personal note, but maybe you could make the Az/Reader storyline extend a bit (maybe utilising the father storyline to make it go up and down again) I always love reading about characters' romances after they get together properly as I'm a sucker for an established relationship fic (which is why I like to read fan fictions when books end too soon for my liking😂) Regardless - even if you made zero changes the book would be amazing because I genuinely really loved it!

For sure for az's family relationships, those will be flsuhed out and explored more. For cass and luc I was trying to allude/create anticipation for their own stories because in my ideal world it would be a four book series haha ("az," "rhys," "cass," and then "luc"), but i can definitely work on those more, give them better structure and not keep everything super secret for them! Ugh, i know, i could've written so much more for them too, so obsessed with this. thank you for the feedback, i really appreciate it!

Anon Feedback 6: With the midnight muse feedback personally I found their relationship a bit faked if that makes sense? I feel like he just asked her out and then suddenly it was like they knew eachother forever. Almost like you were rushing their relationship? At points I was like mate you don’t know eachother but other than that it was pretty good and I loved it!

Yeah, this is for sure good feedback to have. their relationship really did do a 180 in the span of a chapter, so i will work on them gradually finding middle ground and then having their feelings come across more natural! Thank you!!

Thank you so much to everyone who sent feedback!! I really appreciate you all so much!! 💙💙

[rp-partnerfinder]

(If I sent this already just ignore it lol)

📱✨ 18+ RP Partners Wanted | OC x OC | Romance-Heavy | FMC x MMC | Multi-Genre Series ✨📱

Hi, I’m a romance writer looking for mature, emotionally invested roleplay partners (18+ only) to help me write and develop my romance novels through character-based, chemistry-rich RP. I’ll always play the FMC—you’ll play the MMC (and possibly side characters if needed).

Whether we’re developing scenes, testing plot threads, or just vibing with our characters in AUs, I’m here for it. If you love angst, intimacy, soft moments, messy emotions, and stories that feel real—we’ll get along great 🖤

⸻

💫 Main RP Craving: Scrolling Into You

Contemporary Romance | TikTok | Disability & Addiction Recovery

🎭 I’ll play: Nova Quinn (21, she/her) – soft goth poet, autistic + chronically ill, emotionally grounded

🖤 You’ll play: Beck Lennox (27, he/him) – soft grunge heartthrob, six months sober, aching for real connection

Also featuring: Lilith Cross (toxic ex), Lena Hartley (manager), Micah Reyes (photographer bestie)

Themes: digital intimacy, healing, found love, ex drama, raw vulnerability

⸻

✨ RP Available for First Books in the Following Series:

⸻

🎸 Rockstar Romance Series – Book One: Soundcheck to Surrender

🎭 FMC: Wren Calloway – sharp-tongued music journalist hiding a soft heart

🖤 MMC: Ash Wilder – brooding guitarist with Eddie Munson energy, carrying grief like a shadow

Themes: grief, fame, found family, emotional healing, enemies to lovers with unresolved tension

⸻

🤠 Dark Cowboy Romance Series – Book One: Bury Me Slow

🎭 FMC: Delilah Hart – runaway bride with secrets she’s never told

🖤 MMC: Jesse McRae – silent cowboy, fiercely loyal, dangerous when cornered

Themes: small town secrets, trauma recovery, protective love, age-gap tension

⸻

💀 MC Romance Series – Book One: Ruin Me Softly

🎭 FMC: Calla Monroe – woman on the run from a violent past, trusts no one

🖤 MMC: Rhett “Ghost” Maddox – biker with a code, haunted and violent with a soft spot for her

Themes: MC brotherhood, revenge, survival, slow-burn danger and devotion

⸻

☘️ Irish Mafia Series – Book One: Blood in the Garden

🎭 FMC: Maeve Donnelly – daughter of a murdered ally, drawn into the family business

🖤 MMC: Cillian Quinn – enforcer with a reputation, cold and deadly… until her

Themes: dark passion, crime empire, forbidden attraction, power imbalance

(Includes an MM book later in the series if you’re open to switching it up!)

⸻

🧟‍♂️ Zombie Apocalypse Series – Book One: Ashes Between Us

🎭 FMC: Emery Blake – sunshine soul with a gun, loyal and lethal

🖤 MMC: Rowan Hale – jaded ex-leader with Negan-inspired edge and a brutal past

Themes: survival, grumpy x sunshine, found family, “you’re my weakness” vibes

⸻

📚 Dark Academia Romance – Book One: The Quiet Devouring

🎭 FMC: Sylvie Maren – obsessive academic with something to prove

🖤 MMC: Cassian Vale – prodigy with a past (Reid-coded genius), unraveling fast

Themes: obsession, intellect, twisted morality, forbidden love between brilliant minds

⸻

📌 What I’m Looking For:

✅ 18+ partners only

✅ You play the MMC (and possibly side characters if needed)

✅ Comfortable writing romance, emotional tension, trauma, and steamy scenes when earned

✅ Long or short threads, Discord or Tumblr welcome

✅ Plotting, AU tests, scene-building, and long-term character chemistry encouraged

⸻

🖤 If you’re into:

• Flawed characters healing through love

• Smut with feeling

• Intense character development & soft domestic moments

• Slow burns, angst, possessiveness, comfort after chaos

• Romances that feel real enough to hurt

Then DM me or reply below and let’s make magic together. 💌

I’ll guide you through whatever plot you’re interested in—no need to read anything in advance. Just bring your muse and a love for storytelling.

.

[theroleplayclassifieds]

📱✨ Looking for 18+ Roleplay Partners | OC x OC | Contemporary Romance | TikTok Vibes ✨📱

Hey Tumblr fam! I’m looking for mature, creative RP partners (18+ only) to help me build out my romance novel Scrolling Into You—a story about viral videos, emotional healing, and the kind of love that feels like home after the storm.

⸻

🎬 The Setup:

Two creators on opposite ends of the internet—a soft goth poet with a quiet fire and a haunted grunge heartthrob trying to stay sober—fall for each other in the DMs, against the backdrop of social media fame, chronic illness, and the toxic ex who just won’t let go.

⸻

💫 I’ll play:

Nova Quinn (21, she/her)

@NovaQuinn

🖤 High-functioning autism + Spina Bifida

🖤 Soft goth meets digital romantic

🖤 Uses TikTok as a journal for healing

🖤 Empathic, articulate, and quietly badass

🖤 Trying to prove to herself she’s not “too much” to love

⸻

🔥 You’ll play:

Beck Lennox (27, he/him)

@LennoxBeck

🖤 Soft grunge with trauma eyes

🖤 Six months sober, emotionally raw

🖤 Former party boy trying to be better

🖤 Loyal, self-sacrificing, aching for connection

🖤 Trying to escape the grip of his manipulative ex

⸻

🩸 Also Featuring:

• Lilith Cross – chaotic dark feminine ex (think heartbreak in eyeliner form)

• Lena Hartley – Beck’s ride-or-die manager

• Micah Reyes – chill golden-retriever bestie and convention photographer

⸻

📌 What I’m Looking For:

✅ RP partners interested in writing Beck (or potentially other MMCs in my romance series!)

✅ People who love slow-burns, emotional intimacy, angst, hurt/comfort, and smut with purpose

✅ Discord or Tumblr threads welcome

✅ Any writing length or style—I match your vibe

✅ Open to scene testing, AU scenarios, plot development, or full-length threads that help me flesh out my books

⸻

🖤 This story is for fans of:

• “we fell in love through a screen” vibes

• messy healing arcs with a lot of heart

• trauma recovery and disability rep

• creators who aren’t just brands—they’re people

• emotional tension and quiet moments that say everything

⸻

💌 Sound like your thing? DM me—my DMs are open! I’m also down for the pairings from other stories in my lineup (rockstars, cowboys, mafia, apocalypse—you name it).

Let’s create something raw, romantic, and a little bit ruined together 🖤

⭐️

[verylatetotheparty]

Leyla: Hayat Ask Adalet Rant

I've only watched a few dizis, so I wasn't familiar with any of the actors on this series when I started watching. The reason I started watching was because I had seen a little of Leyla and Civan on social media. It was actually seeing this photoshoot that convinced me to watch:

They're pretty, but they also just seemed like they had good vibes. And those good vibes were apparent when watching the series. Even when the plot went sideways, they still gave us good moments.

This is a drama and not a rom-com so I wasn't expecting everything to be happy all the time, but I do think it was reasonable to expect some sort of payoff with the nonstop misery the main characters had to endure. After all, the words "life, love, justice" are in the title along with the name Leyla. So where do these themes appear? Life? Most people in Leyla's life have now been killed off. Love? Leyla's love is being killed off; there has been no other love to speak of (and any attempts to replace it will be futile at this point). Justice? Nur has done countless horrific deeds and never seen justice for any of it.

This story started as one full of hope. It was about the two main characters recovering from the trauma inflicted on them as children and rediscovering the love they they thought was dead all while Leyla was on a journey to reclaim the identity that was stolen from her. They abandoned that premise long ago, instead writing a story of the villain failing upwards through the most obscene circumstances. A story must have some degree of suffering to provide intrigue, but a good story must have some reprieve so as not to exhaust the audience. That reprieve never came, and the powers that be on this show have made the incredibly stupid decision that it's never going to. All the endlessly sh*tty situations the characters have endured only made sense if there was any light at the end of the tunnel.

It really should not have been so hard to wrap this story up decently. This is a remake, and while they have never followed it exactly, there was still a blueprint for a satisfying ending.

I would understand more if the show had the ratings to take them to a second season and having to create a new story for that. They don't and are reliant on an increase in this coming episode, so instead of finishing out the season with Civan, they are writing him off a few episodes before the season finale so people tune in to see his death. It's clear they want a ratings increase from that so they can justify a new season. They knew what they were doing when filming of the funeral leaked.

But who's going to tune in for a new season anyway? The show stopped being about Leyla; she still gets screen time, but it's been an onslaught of torturing her rather than telling her story. They just can't get rid of her because she's the titular character. I definitely did not watch for Nur, and I don't think most people did. Sometimes shows cater to villains, but in this case it doesn't even make sense because not once has Nur been shown to have any redeeming quality. This is a woman who has gotten away with child abuse and murder and who has just robbed her own child (the MMC for ffs!) of his last chance at life. Writing a character like this only works if they get their comeuppance and not a continuation of their story while all the other characters either die or are written off in other ways. It is lunacy if the show runners expect to get an audience that way.

When a good story ends, it is bittersweet, but this is not that; it's the sick feeling of being betrayed by a friend. I started watching this show at a time when some not-so-good things were happening, so this series was an escape and a comfort. I had looked forward to rewatching earlier episodes once the series ended, like I do for other shows I enjoyed, but knowing the way it ends has tainted the way I see things now. I was expecting the series to finish soon; I'm just bummed that it won't be the comfort to return to like I thought it would be.

The chances of this may be slim, but I wish these two could do another show together (with better showrunners) because they really were magic.

[acourtofthought]

Miscommunication trope doesn't work when all it would take is for Az to one single real conversation. With Rhys, "I care about her, Rhys." "I'm over Mor, Rhys." With Elain, "are you going to talk to Lucien about your bond?" "What do you want from this Elain?" With Lucien, "We didn't mean for this to happen, but we couldn't help it" "We're sorry for hurting you" and what happened could have been avoided. Az has experienced the emotional safety of the IC for centuries. If after 500+ years he can't drop his guard for a few moments with the female he supposedly loves and his brother who he does love, then a relationship should be the last thing he's worried about. He's clearly got "too much trauma" to be with Elain if he can't be the tiniest bit vulnerable with her or Rhys.

A miscommunication trope doesn't usually happen from the POV of the one doing the rejecting.

A miscommunication trope only works when the MMC doesn't confirm he did the right thing then ends the scene thinking about another woman.

For anyone crying that Gwyn is manipulating him, it's kind of amazing that her "agoraphobia" will prevent her from falling in love and being intimate with a male but it wouldn't stop her from becoming an evil villain, manipulating the romance of Az and Elain. Apparently she can betray everyone from within the library, just not find romance.

[phantomdialogue]

˗ˏˋ. ݁₊ ✶ ˖ 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐲 - 𝟔/𝟓 ☆ . ݁ ˖ˎˊ˗

premise: nora stephens is a cutthroat literary agent in new york city whose sister begs her for a girl's trip in the small town of sunshine falls. charlie lastra is an broody editor from the big city who happens to be there at the same time, much to nora's annoyance. as they keep meeting again and again, things change and their stories start to intertwine more than they ever could have expected.

couple: charlie lastra and nora stephens

tropes: could be considered a slight workplace romance, vacation-esque romance as well, small town, rivals to lovers (ish), eldest sibling trauma

review below!

review:

yes. emily henry has done it again. except this time even more so. i LOVED this book. i really loved people we meet on vacation but this... this one took my heart and ran so fast away from that. charlie and nora are everything to me. their story, their love, their dynamic, everything about them is just insane to me in the best way possible. i found myself relating so deeply to both of them that i think that's why i loved this one even more but at it's very core, i think i just love emily henry's style and voice and storytelling.

charlie lastra... what a man. charlie is everything to me. i love him as a mmc. i think he's so complex and even though we never read his pov, i think that the way that emily henry writes him really makes you see the way that he thinks and feels so clearly. he's never a huge mystery without the intention of it. he's very clearly written and you understand him on a really personal level even from nora's pov. nora stephens is just like me in every way that tugs on my heart strings and rips it out. i love her so deeply. i think she just immediately became a character i connected to on a deeper level and she's such an understandable fmc that i feel such a kinship to her.

charlie and nora's romance is so realistic and i think that's a lot of what draws me to it. the ending is so sweet and yet still feels real and possible rather than a super romcom ending. i cried so much through the last few chapters (and the epilogue) because it just felt so right to them and their love and i was so happy. i really adore this book so so much and it's easily top three of the year so far for me now. i can't wait to keep reading the rest of her books as she's quickly becoming an "auto-buy" author for me.

q & a:

are they endgame? - yes. yes. yes. i think they have such an interesting way of communicating with each other that works so well for them in the long run. they know and understand each other so well and i think it will serve them well forever. i can just imagine them growing older together in years to come and their banter becoming cute old people bickering and it makes me so happy.

did i cringe? - not really. i think there are some moments where i'm like "that character's an ass" but nothing that deters from the book at all. there is a certain character that did make me cringe but that's because he's an asshole. it was a purposeful cringe, ya know?

favorite part? - how do i choose? i think adding on to what i said before about charlie and nora's romance being realistic, it's that they are both realistic characters too. they have plenty of reasons that are explained and explored for why they are the way they are. nora specifically is a beautifully thought out character. you read her thoughts and emotions and you don't question where they came from. you know why she thinks that way and i think that says so much about emily henry's understanding of her character. everything is purposeful and the way it is for a reason and it really makes you feel like she is a real living human rather than some trope (which is a funny comparison considering the book's topics).

least favorite part? - it's such a nitpicky thing but i detest the font used to differentiate between email/text and normal writing. it's not the most accessible thing. but writing/plot/character wise, i couldn't choose a least favorite. that's not a cop out it's just the truth.

favorite quotes (some spoilers here, of course, but minimal):

I’m a grown man, Nora. I can buy my own Bigfoot erotica, thank you very much.

Over the years, I’ve developed a finely tuned filter—with pretty much everyone except Libby—but Charlie always manages to disarm it, to press the exact right button to open the gate and let my thoughts charge out like velociraptors.

I’m not ashamed of my upbringing, but the more you tell a person about yourself, the more power you hand over.

It feels like my outline is dissolving, like I’m turning to liquid.

A minute later, Charlie appears and thrusts two velvet throw pillows at us. “Your majesties,” he says, scowl/ pouting before returning to his post.

It feels like there’s poison inside of me. No matter how hard I run, I can’t burn through it.

“You said wait,” he challenges. “Yes, and you apparently heard I’m going to tase you in the crotch.”

“It’s how he realized I wanted to learn how to put things together. I thought the world made sense, and I wanted to find the sense.

“There isn’t for women either. There’s just tall women,” he says, “and the men too insecure to date them.”

I wonder how many times we’ve passed each other in our city of millions.

I don’t feel like Nadine Winters when he’s this close. I feel like I’m sugar under a blowtorch, like he’s caramelizing my blood.

“It’s hard to think in words right now, Nora.”

Even when we’re agreeing with each other, our conversations feel less like we’re taking turns carrying the torch and more like we’re playing table tennis while said table is on fire.

A minute later, he adds, you okay? Like even from separate rooms, with multiple screens between us, he is reading my mood.

I feel haunted by him, and I’m determined to haunt him right back.

“How do you do that?” His brow furrows. “Do what?” “Say the right thing.” The corner of his mouth quirks. “No one thinks that.” “I do.”

“Until you got here,” he rasps, “all this place had ever been was a reminder of the ways I was a disappointment, and now you’re here, and—I don’t know. I feel like I’m okay. So if you’re the ‘wrong kind of woman,’ then I’m the wrong kind of man.”

We really are two opposing magnets, incapable of being in the same room without drawing together.

“You fucking undo me,” he says.

“I already told you, Nora,” he murmurs, his fingers splaying on my stomach, just beneath my shirt. “I’ll go anywhere with you.” Sometimes, even when you start with the last page and you think you know everything, a book finds a way to surprise you.

Thank you, I mouth. His chin dips as he smiles. Anything for you, he mouths. In my chest, something heavy turns over.

“If I had to pick one person to be in my corner, it’d be you. Every time. You take care of shit.”

“You do have me, Nora. I never stood a chance.”

Little by little, Charlie kisses away the ache of these past three weeks.

“I thought about you everywhere,” he says. “There’s nowhere in this town we haven’t done this.”

“For what it’s worth,” he says, “I doubt I will ever like anyone else in the world as much as I like you.”

“I know,” he says. “I can read you like a book.”

[romanreadsbooks]

Lights Out by Nevessa Allen - Review

TL;DR

2.7 Stars

Pros: Phenomenal duet narration, surprisingly likable characters

Cons: Disjointed first and second half, a lot of time spent justifying

Continue the Series? No

Spoilers in review? No

Content Warnings for review: stalker romance, knife kink, mentions of rape

Opinions going in/why I picked it up:

It was two things: 1) I had just finished my last audiobook and thus that slot was available for a new book, and 2) the audios I heard on tiktok were hilarious

I'm indifferent to most dark romance and I'm not particularly interested in stalker or knife kinks so I wasn't looking to be "roused", but I was curious. Much like when I read Priest by Sierra Simone, I was curious as to what it was about this kink/fetish/whatever that made people tick other than just the taboo of it. And just like with with the priest kink I kind of still don't get it?

But hey, whatever your into is fine by me. My personal mentality is essentially just RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) so as long as every real person is consenting, I'm all good.

Likes:

First and foremost, the main reason I finished this book was the narrators, and . They book itself didn't contain anything that would have made me DNF, exactly. Its just that I might have considered DNFing from just not being engaged with the story, which is to be expected if the main point of it is a kink in not into. But with the surprisingly humourous and light-hearted delivery by the narrators, I didn't even consider stopping.

And as Characters both Josh (MMC) and Aly (FMC) we're surprisingly likable, considering how they were first introduced.

With Aly, she's a nurse who (apparently) works out a ton and likes a hookup every now and again to let off steam -- to me this just screams 'high school mean girl all grown up'. Fortunately she has a bit more depth than that, though her constant, absurd overconfidence in her own abilities was slightly irritating.

Like girl, you *really* thought you, with no experience in the tech world, would be able to sneak a tracking device onto a guy who you *know* is a highly skilled hacker and is actively stalking you? Please stop deluding yourself before you get killed. (There are countless other instances, but I don't need to make this review longer than necessary)

Aly took the phrase "If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough" to heart, but falsely equated being tough and being brave. Because somehow despite her allegedly rigorous work out routine, she is over powered at every turn. Especially by Big Strong™ Josh

Josh is the son an infamous serial killer and has, as a direct result, has a lot of trauma surrounding that. This trauma manifests in 2 main ways, 1) constant fear that he will follow down the same path as his father, and 2) A desperate need to be awareness of all potential threats that may be around him or the ones he loves at any given moment.

The need for awareness in combination with his 'elite hacking skills' makes the stalker that he is, except the only people who he seems to have stalked is his childhood best friend/roommate and now Aly, whom he met because she was banging his bestie/roomie

I mention all this because on paper they both sound more-or-less insufferable (and maybe they would have been had they not had the narrators voices), but I actually did like them both. I thought they were flawed, but still likable.

Dislikes:

This felt like 2 separate, sequential stories slammed together so that it could be an appropriate length for a novel.

It's like the author wrote the first half, the story of how the stalker became the lover, finished it, and then realized that it was 100-150 pages short of being a book. After which she attached a second, equally short story to the back and didn't *really* bother trying to interweave them together.

That's not to say both plots weren't good, or at least entertaining, but they did feel incredibly disjointed. They were particularly good or interesting either, but they weren't horrible.

And additionally this page count (338 pages) is also heavily padded with the sheer amount of justification both characters ramble through in their respective inner monologues. I have a more to say on this in the Other Notes section, since it's not exactly a negative, but I do think that Allen could have written these rationalizing soliloquies in a way that didn't feel like the characters were beating their readers over the head with a hammer with how blunt and direct it was.

Other Notes:

That said, about the opaqueness of the messaging, is very understandable in this day in age. Others can express concern over the rise of anti-intellectualism, censorship, puritanical ideation, etc far more elegantly that I could ever hope to do with my STEM education that has failed to provide me the ability to articulate exactly how I'm feeling.

But I will do my best.

After sections where both Aly and Josh experience attraction or titillation or whatever you want to call it, there is very often a follow up section where they spend multiple minutes of audiobook time explaining to the reader exactly why it is okay that they had the reaction that they did.

Why they might be into certain taboo things and how the way they engage with those things is alright. Most of it revolves, essentially, around the fact that all parties involved are giving informed consent. As I mentioned in the "Going into the Book" section, this is a belief that I hold, as well. So, to me, I have these long sections of telling me what I already know and I'm getting a little bored.

But at the same time I know exactly why they are included -- because the idea that "consenting adults should be allowed to do what they want in the walls of their own homes" is becoming frustratingly more and more foreign.

So this very explicit, on-page explanation is a reasonable inclusion, even if it slows the pacing. And it being there, I think, makes it a pretty decent starting place for those looking to dip their toes into the dark romance/stalker romance world. Might be a boring read for those more familiar with it though.

Rating Breakdown

Characters: 5

Atmosphere: 6

Writing: 5

Plot: 4

Intrigue:6

Logic: 5

Enjoyment: 6

Dialogue: 7

Total: 5.5/10 or 2.7 Stars