#transproblems

[connors-internet-corner]

An Update: It gets better !

Dear Reader,

It's been a few years, hasn't it?

I logged back into this account and re-read all the posts, and man my life used to suck. I didn't even really mention the half of it but hey, thats neither here nor there.

In short, life has gotten better.

I got on HRT almost a year ago, and am getting set up for applying for top surgery soon! I am currently in university, studying astrophysics with a minor in applied mathematics and theatre & performance. I'm happy.

I still battle with depression, anxiety and dysphoria but, its much better than it used to be. I've figured out how to navigate it, and found a community.

I live with a roommate, both of us are trans and in physics. We stay all to all hours of the night just chatting about anything under the sun. I don't really talk to most of my family anymore, more so pleasantries every now and then to keep them off my sister's back. But they never aided me so its not really a loss.

I found out that I love learning, more so than I thought. I like building things, working in theatre, doing producer shit, and physics. I love it. Life sucks sometimes, but its so much better. I'm thinking about creating a new blog and making it something like a common place book. A place to write everything and nothing. Maybe you, dear reader, would learn something new. Maybe you would find a new passion. Who knows?

Being an adult is odd, and so terrifying and so freeing. Its scary because its all up to me, but its also all up to me.

Anyways, I just wanted to update this blog and let anyone who has read through this or follows me know that it got better.

Sincerely, Connor

[sal-thesalty]

A bit unkempt today

[royalprincess-stuff]

1st of all understandable! and when the drama happened before with that blogger who was saying some stuff you guys were in your wolf pack. Yes you were not rude but your besties were, did you ever tell them to not be abusive? Did you?

2nd of all I was the first person along with another boy from her gc to get scammed by @glossyxox and yes I am mad at her so are everyone. But why are you bloggers mad at her or even giving this much of attention because technically she was just "living in the end" right? All I wanna know is what's wrong wid it? you all do say don't care about the 3d and stuff and she was just applying it......

Yes you can say that I should shut the fuck up because I am a slut bucause I can't enter the void or whatever and I am still wavering but @glossyxox is actually applying it and is living in the end.

I am saying all these because I did listen to bloggers and I didn't study for exam and thought that I am gonna get 90% anyway but I failed.......

Its not easy. The reason I am mad is because life is 10 times more harder when you are a 15 y o transgirl who isn't allowed to transition and can't be herself and also failed its like the worst!

babes it is ok to think someone new can be a scammer. But we are talking here of someone who did not asked money. I remember when i saw she dm me to say she entered, she said she already got 78 dms. I am defending her since I believe her. I told her to live her dream life and rest and she said to me all she wanted was to help you. That's why i believe her. She said she wantes to make this place heaven. I'll post the proof that she texted me that.

Again, this is all a misunderstood. I know a lot of you got trauma from kira and thalia. But this girl asked nothing but to help you. So I can't see why you all treated her like that. Also, why you say she copied blogger A when this bloggers commented and rebloged glossy post? Hm? I am trying to be fair with both sides and I hope I am right. For now this is what I have to say. Be safe, everyone.

[sprakcomic]

Since changing my name, I've got older relatives who won't call me any name so it's always a delight to see which confused endearing nickname they'll use for me instead ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) #transproblems

instagram | twitter | tapas

[moody-death]

~~Let me be seen as myself~~

When you look at me you see her. You see yourself, or you see a perfect doll that can't be your son but only your daughter. Pounding my mind with the she and never lifting me with he. Using they to make you more comfortable. Saying yes, use her name for your comfortability, because her name is the two of you formed into one. 

Please once use my name. Her name is something of the past. I want to be called his name by you just once, that is all I can ask for. 

×Moody-Death×

2022

[genderless-nobody]

Looking for a name sucks. Anything I see that I think I like I just discourage myself because I know no one would ever call me that.

On a lighter note does anyone have any cool name suggestions? I’m an empty canvas throw anything at me

[natedogg1669]

For Christmas all I want is top surgery...

[imawitchywitch]

When you get misgendered all. The. Time.

Instagram - Facebook - TikTok

[therealpenofwildfire]

Hey guys, I've been thinking, and I think I need to run away. For real. I was already considering it but now tat I'm probably not ranging schools it's become almost a definite thing. I live on the prairies of southern Alberta, Canada, and I want to leave and go to Calgary. I have an adult friend who might take me in but if she can't I'd honestly be willing to live on the streets. Help.

[skipbinfullofgay]

If one more cis woman who kissed a girl once while drunk at a party calls me a “bwave boi” or tells me how they didn’t misgender me once like it’s a special achievement I’m gonna commit violence.

[ladyswiftwind]

Yup 100%

[snakesnakesnaaaaaaake]

I haven't lived since the adrenaline of my Mr. Limpy starting to fall out of my pants

[connors-internet-corner]

A Really Unnecessary Update

Dear Reader, 

Its been awhile. In short, school has been okay, friends are going really fucking bad, my life is general is a shit show i guess but then again so is the world. 

So with school my grades have been slipping and i want school to be a thing because its better than being dead named at home. I also enjoy gym, im starting to build muscle , my biceps are looking pretty good not to be narcissistic and im think im getting abs!

 I think ive been pushing away my friends. Im constantly annoyed by 1 of them, I can’t talk about my problems with my close friends, one of them yelled at me and called me a bad person (may haps they are right I dont really know what im doing right now) and my best friend got a girlfriend and spends all his time with her, shes one of my other best friends. It sucks i dont mean to be like this and ill never say it to him but hes not there for me anymore. All he does it talk to her, and I’m having a really bad time right now. 

With life i found out my mother died , her 1 year anniversary is coming up . I found out b/c i googled her name and there was a fucking obituary. My dad didn’t even know. I played it up as i never really knew her but inside im devastated and i can’t talk to anyone about it because my sister is alot worse off than me and my family will just think im doing for attention after all this.

Im looking for some online friends! hit me up on DMs if you want to , cuz hell knows i need a new friend and hey maybe one of you who have read this far do too.

I’ve been watching the 3rd season of sword art online i think its pretty good, same with the fourth season of haikyuu its amazing. I’ve been trying to find new shows but nothing is really appealing.  

Covid-19 is getting worse and worse here. My grandparents also live here so im quite scared for them. We should be on lock down but our government is doing nothing, i think they are just hoping for it to get better. Its kind of exciting in seeing how the whole world is going to change tho, after this a lot of businesses are going to start becoming remote i think.

If any of you want some music to check out Samsa & Atlas are really good. Cavetown released a new album so that also pretty dope.

Well leave a like or whatever im supposed to say

Stay safe & Keep indoors! 

Sincerely, Connor

[avery-onyx]

Wanna know what sucks? Everything around being trans. First you got the coming to terms with it and deal with that inner hatred of your existence. Then you have to tell people, or just tell someone, cause it drives you crazy not to. New pronouns and a new name. Only for no one to use them. There's the bathroom problem at school that can lead you to UTIs and even bullying. You learn to be proud of who you are, even if people don't. That doesn't stop the dysphoria taking over your whole life. You're depressed and anxious over it. You lose your shit even more when you question where you stand with sexuality or even how you identify your gender. You can go from trans male to genderfluid, or trans female to demi girl. And you feel so conflicted and tied to what you came out as and it's scary to tell people because you feel like it'll invalidate you. You don't even think you'll live til 18 because of the rising LBGT+ murders and suicides over the years. . Once you make it past that, you're almost lost. No clue what you're gonna do or even be. Getting on hormones is almost euphoric. It's everything you've ever dreamed of. But that's what it feels like-- a dream. It's a decision you didn't ever think you'd live to have happen. It feels like someone could take it away from you by telling you you're not able to do it because of medical reasons. There's always side effects and it takes time, a lot of it. Let's not mention the government trying to tell you how you should be identified and have your rights taken away like you're not human. Even on hormones, people can still misgender you. You try to let of roll off your shoulder, it happens all the time and you feel use to it. But you're not. And that shit eats away at your dysphoria even more. The dating pool is so hard, either you're a "turn off" or a "fetish". And both make you feel awful as a human being.

Being trans is a journey, always will be. And it's a hard mountain to climb. It is never easy. And it truly, really, sucks.

[uarghhhh]