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kai-and-their-mess · 1 year ago

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Please Don't Go

Astronaut Mafuyu x Angel Mizuki

warnings for: heavy angst, character death, tragedy, ambigous endings cuz wow im bad at conclusions, and probably poor grammar. this is beta read but not edited to fix anything my beta pointed out to me.

intro: transfem Mizuki, transmasc Mafuyu. Fuyu and Yuki mostly used as names for Mafuyu. transmasc Shiho cuz cmon, have you seen? shiho? ever? thats a boy. prompt taken from @probably-not-niigo Link to the original post found here. the last time i wrote for public consumption was years ago so if POV is sloppy or nothing is capitalized or some of the sentence structure is strange: no it isnt 💕

THIS HAS TWO ENDINGS. neither of which are strictly happy, but one is bittersweet cuz i couldnt finish this until i came up with a "happier" ending.

There wasn't a single doubt in his mind that this was dangerous, sadly past trauma meant that Yuki was the only one 'brave' enough to do this. as the crew flew around in their ship, they had gotten a notification that there some damage to the exterior. Fuyu, who isn't at all the engineer, was on his way to see the damage. the actual engineer, some dude named Shiho, refused to fix the issue unless he knew more about what was wrong.

Fuyu understood his hesitation. they were passing by an asteroid storm right now. but they didn't know how bad the damage was, and they couldn't see it on any of the cameras either. the crew had no clue how bad it was and that's why they were sending Yuki out. if it was minor, they would wait until it was safer to fix it, if it was major, Shiho would take the tools he needed and fix it as fast as he could.

But they wouldn't know unless someone went to look. so Fuyu put on his spacesuit, double and triple checked the oxygen tank and once the necessary safety gear was attached, he was ready to head out. "Again, be fast but be safe, we'll be able to communicate through the walkie installed in the suit, if anything goes wrong, we'll pull you in fast as we can. just…. stay safe, be aware of your surroundings" Shiho rambles to Yuki, worry in his voice as Yuki silently nods along.

"I'll be quick, don't worry." Fuyu speaks aloud to reassure Shiho but also for himself. something in his gut just told him he shouldn't go out there, but he didn't really have much of a choice. resolve firmed Yuki steps forward into the airlock. the first door closing behind him as he does. he feels what he can only assume is a wave of anxiety wash over him as he stares at the second door, the vastness of space behind it.

when Fuyu first became an astronaut, it was because of his fascination with the stars, the way that it was so empty yet so full of life, energy. it was, literally, as far away from his mom as he could possibly be. but it was also so fulfilling, so fun. so why then was all that magic and joy missing? why was there anxiety in his gut? where was that usual excitement? Yuki found himself suddenly…unwilling.

he shakes his head. it's just a quick trip to check the hull and then right back inside. not giving himself more room to procrastinate he presses the airlock button and the door in front of him slowly starts to open. one hand firmly on his tether he works his way outside, maneuvering carefully to the area that's damaged. it wasn't super bad outside. the asteroids weren't too close to him, it felt safe this close to the ship but still he made sure to keep an eye out just in case.

meanwhile, out of sight a young angel watches, brows furrowed with concern, stress. she had hoped and done her best to send warnings but still Yuki had left the ship. Mizuki was beside herself. she had been put in charge of Yuki, she considered herself his guardian angel despite her having yet to pass the test to officially become a guardian. she was an observer right now. her job was to just watch, not intervene.

but she had… "borrowed" Yuki's book from his real guardian angel and knowing what she knew, how could she just watch? Yuki was going to die. it said so in the book. the book described every event from Yuki's life right down to when and how he brushed his teeth, there was a few possibilities for each choice he could make. but there was no avoiding this. there was no possibility of Yuki surviving this. once he stepped out his fate was as good as sealed.

but Mizuki couldn't accept that. she tried everything. even going as far as to try and influence his feelings. it didn't stop him, but it did alter the book. she groaned, watching closely as Yuki floated. part of her still hoped it wouldn't happen, but she knew that wasn't the case. helpless, she watched the young man, putting all her hopes into her heart Mizuki found herself passively wishing that she'd birth a miracle, right here, right now as she wandered off. things to do, places to see.

for Yuki, nothing had felt different, he was focused on his task, and almost to the damaged spot too. after a few more moments it comes into view. an asteroid had struck, not a big one, it seemed, but it had exposed some wiring on the side of the ship. Yuki presses a button on his collar and speaks "hey. I'm at the damage site. a small asteroid must have hit us, there's a panel missing, and some wiring exposed." there's a pause before Shiho's voice filters through the walkie.

"Got it. we can fix that once we're out of this asteroid storm. return to us." Yuki nods, though no one's around to see it and starts to follow the tether back. when he's about halfway there the ship shakes violently, bumping into Yuki, who stayed close to the hull, and sending him away from the ship. Yuki closes his eyes when the ship first shakes, gripping onto the tether the whole time. he slowly opens his eyes to see darkness.

the ship seems almost impossibly far. Yuki tugs on his tether and it goes taunt. whatever hit the ship sent him to the limits of his tether, he'd have to be careful. he pushes the button on his collar again "hey, what happened? are you guys okay? is the ship okay?" it takes a few moments for anyone to answer so while he waits Fuyu starts carefully guiding himself back to the other end of the tether.

to his relief the speaker on the walkie talkie sparks to life and a voice is heard "Yuki? good to hear your voice. the ship was hit by an asteroid, it knocked us off course but we're all safe. there's major damage to the hull now though… I'm going to have to try and fix that if we want to make it to our destination safely." Shiho's voice is hard to hear over the alarm in the background, there's others talking in the background. everyone must be worried.

"I'm on my way back" Yuki responds simply. "Stay safe" Shiho's response is short but it feels warm. sighing, Yuki starts on his way again, the ship growing closer as he moves. it feels like quicksand today, almost like space doesn't want to let him go. he does his best to move fast but it's hard to do so when you have no means of propelling yourself forward. Yuki isn't sure how long it takes before he's close to the ship but it feels like an hour.

it's probably been closer to 20 minutes. all of a sudden something out of the corner of his eye makes him freeze. eyes wide, heart stopped. slowly, his hand comes up to his collar and he presses the button "Shiho…. I... I don't think I can get back" it was moving too fast. the asteroid. He knew that if it was this close, there wasn't a thing he could do to avoid it. he hears Shiho respond. kind of. he definitely heard Shiho's voice, but the words were lost on him.

fear gripping his heart Yuki closes his eyes. he's never felt so scared so suddenly. he feels the asteroid more than anything, a perverse feeling of heat and cold consumes Fuyu. if this is what death is like at least its fast. after what feels like a lifetime the feeling leaves him. he slowly opens his eyes and is greeted by the darkness of space. distant stars shine in somewhere far off, but instead of relief at being alive all Yuki can process is dread.

the tether is cut. the tether is cut, and among all those stars, glittering and sparkling in this distance, is his ship. too far to reach, especially at the full mercy of space. not knowing what else to do. he laughs. it's a pain-stricken sound, gasping, sobbing, heart wrenching. all those times he thought 'I want to die' all those times he thought 'I want to disappear' he never could have imagined it would end like this.

he doesn't know how long he cries for, or how much time passed between his last contact. but like a fever dream, Shiho's voice is heard. panic and worry clear in the man's tone. "Yuki, Yuki! respond! fuck, say something!!! shit!" another laugh bubbles up, it's just so. funny. taking a breath, he steadies his breathing as much as he can before radioing in. "I'm… still here" a loud sigh is heard, and Yuki does his best to ground himself.

he'll need to be able to think if he wants to try and make it back. "I'm…sorry Yuki. we can't turn to come get you until I fix the hull. you should have about an hour of oxygen in the tank. I'm already on my way to fix it." Yuki chuckles, against his will. "No… I won't… the tether broke. you guys won't be able to find me." the line goes silent before Shiho responds again. It almost sounds like he's crying. "I'm…. really, really sorry, Yuki." Fuyu nods, it's no one's fault.

"One last request. Shiho... can you say to me; 'Mafuyu, you did a good job here.' and then…. can you disconnect my walkie from our closed circuit..?" It had been years since he so much as thought of his deadname, but he needed this. there's a long sigh from the other end of the line, but Shiho reluctantly complies. "Mafuyu, you did a good job here." there's a small pause as Shiho inhales, having more to say. "Thank you for your bravery, for everything you've done during this voyage. you'll be remembered with the highest honors…. captain and engineer Shiho Hinomori signing off" Fuyu whispers a small barely audible 'thank you' as the line goes dead for the last time.

it may have seemed cold or callused to just disconnect like that, but Shiho was the only other realist on the crew. he wouldn't try and comfort Yuki with false empty promises and reassurances. they both knew the odds of being able to get back the ship was really low, there was no point trying to deny that. but at lease he could have a bit of comfort as he accepts his fate. not having anything else today he 'lays down'.

letting himself just float in the nothingness of space. his face still wet with tears, unable to dry because of the space suit. Yuki finds himself wondering if, somehow, his mom knew something like this would happen. it makes him laugh a little, it's a dry, melancholy sound. his headaches a little. he's not sure if it's from the fit of hysterics or from lack of oxygen.

the stars become too painful after a few moments, their freedom and ability to thrive in this situation feeling almost mocking. he closes his eyes, waiting. for what? he's not sure. but maybe, for once, he'd be able to imagine. just an alternate world where things went right, where he didn't get lost in space. where he found happiness and love and just lived a boring life in a house he owned.

that's when he hears it. a voice as sweet as kittens, singing with power and intensity to rival the gets used to get him into space. the song is soothing, though he has no clue what language it is. it's comforting, warmth blooms slowly in his gut and creeps through his body. taking a deep breath, he opens his eyes. floating there, inches from his face was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.

the sight of her alone was enough to steal his breath away, mesmerized by her. she had long pink hair that, to him, seemed to trail off into infinity, her body glowed with a soft light. she wore this milky pink colored dress that hugged her torso and ended with a frilly skirt. from her back sprouted a pair of huge wings, seeming to have glitter woven into the white feathers. Yuki didn't dare move, what if she was just a hallucination? what if interacting with her meant doom for him? not wanting to be alone again he stayed still and listened to her sing.

when her song was finished, she opened her eyes to reveal pink, glittering orbs that bore into him with a look of affection? or maybe admiration? "it's such a pleasure to meet you" the girl speaks, startling Fuyu out of his stupor. "My name is Mizuki, I'm... here to keep you company." for a while, Yuki says nothing. he only speaks when the smile starts to slip of Mizukis face, for some reason, he doesn't want her to be sad.

"Am…I going to die out here?" the question surprises even him. Mizuki hesitates for a long while, her voice tinged with sadness as she speaks.

"that's… what's fated, yes. but! I'm an angel!" she states this fact proudly, and for a moment Yuki feels a bit of hope. but. there's no way she's real. it's just a comforting hallucination in his last moments. there's no way angels could possibly be real. but he would humor this hallucination.

"So, you're going to save me?" Mizuki knew deep down that she shouldn't. she couldn't. not without offering up something in exchange. but the price would be so steep. she couldn't waste too much time, though. the longer she took the less time they had. but what could she do to save him? what could she give that would be enough to repay her disobedience?

"I…." her voice is hesitant. she has about less than 30 minutes. "I… yes. I'm here to save you" she smiles, her voice becoming more sure as she speaks- "I'm here to save you, Yuki. don't worry. help will come. until then, I'll sit with you." Mafuyu stares at her, not sure if she was being honest or not.

hell, he wasn't even sure if she was fucking real. this whole thing- it was insane. but hey, it was the end of his world. so, what the hell? letting out a soft sigh he reaches out to grasp at her hand. "Please don't go" he speaks. not sure if she can even hear him through his space suit. regardless, she grabs his hand and holds it tightly in both of hers. he watches as Mizuki closes her eyes again, singing another song. warmth envelopes Yuki once more and he smiles.

(Here is where the ending splits!!! You can stop here if youd prefer for this to be the canon ending. as for the actual endings themselves you can find ending one here and ending two here hope you enjoy!)