#translating these characters from CGI into my style is a little slow going

[ann-chovi]

TWO. TWO CHARACTER REFS FOR MY ROOK ORIGIN COMIC DONE. AH AH AH.

[vegalocity]

10/18 spicynoodles plis

Prompt meme || @deborahsworld

10.A Shy Kiss/18. Holding Hands

Hell yeah time for fluff

--

Okay... first date....Going pretty well so far. The Movie was okay—MK wasn't very big on horror movies even ones as old as this one was, but Red Son was really excited when he saw it was being played for a ‘foreign movies’ night at the movie theater and what, could have have argued against such enthusiasm?—if a bit slow going and atmospheric.

Though after the heroes found the monster frozen and seemingly dead in the abandoned Norwegian outpost, all twisted and malformed, he really hoped his appetite wouldn't be killed by the end of this with even worse when the monsters started actually moving.

And then the monsters actually started moving.

The dog turning into a monster and killing the other dogs hurt the animal lover inside him, and he felt a bit of his latent arachnophobia begin to rear its head when the hairy legs sprouted from its back, and then the actual form the monster, halfway through killing the remaining trapped dogs had sent a chill up his spine and then-

“See how they were able to make the monster look goopy? It's not really very goopy except during the close up shots, because it's an animatronic so it had to be dry most of the time, they got the shine effect by piling liquid latex ontop of the finished paintjob until it started drying while it trailed off of the frame. And that right there? When it took the hurt dog? That was actually filmed in reverse, having the tentacles start out around the dog puppet and then rapidly pull away so when they reversed it it looked like they actually moved and had torque behind the action.”

“Really?”

“Yeah it's really fascinating how they went about effects before computer graphics were refined, everything had to be practical so even if it doesn't look the best, it doesn't hit that uncanny valley that bad CGI makes because even if it doesn't look real it looks real enough.”

It didn't feel quite as disturbing with that rattling around in his head, focusing on how much work must have been done to make the monster move as realistically as possible, how many times they'd practiced and trained in a controlled sound stage and adapting it to the set...

They weren't the only ones in the theater, but it was a mostly empty showing, as was usually the case with foreign films as old as this one. So it wasn't like they were disturbing anyone with Red Son leaning over to whisper interesting details MK would have never even thought to look up to make the overall experience less scary. Red Son seemed aware that he wasn't the biggest horror fan, and was trying to soften the blows the more intense moments would bring by talking through them and bringing back  the reality that it was just a movie they were watching.

“I was alive in this era and I can state with general expertise that computers were certainly not that advanced yet. Computer AI wasn't past that of your average graphing calculator until at least the mid 1990's.”

“They got that sound effect by putting a microphone in a tin trash can and recording the sound of a racecar zooming by and put it in a reverb chamber until it sounded completely unrecognizable”

“Blair is already a Thing at this point, you remember when he was dissecting the Norwegian base's monster? He was using a pencil eraser to point out that era in its chest and then he'd touched the eraser to his lip! And since it started by probably just a small contingent of shed cells it probably took him longer to assimilate than the others.”

“This is actually really cool! The stunt double for Copper that they got for the scene actually was a double amputee! They made fake hands for him out of latex, filled them with fake blood, and styled the chest jaw like a bear trap for that disgusting pulling shot.”

Though... That one didn't work as well... When the long tendril shot from the Thing's stomach and sprouted slider legs and a second head, the extending neck hissing and glaring down at the heroes, he felt his gut turn, even as the heroes took the flamethrower to the monster.

The monster's first head ripped from its body and grew spider legs. And Oh GOD that was disgusting, without thinking he reached for the edge of the armrest to grip as the heroes had to play cat and mouse with a severed, spider head. He'd missed, and his hand clapped down atop of Red Son's and squeezed.

Red Son jolted beside him and MK saw him turn in his direction in his periphery.

“You know if this is freaking you out too much we can leave.”

“No! No, it's okay. You like this movie! You wouldn't know so much about it if you didn't like it!” Besides, he shouldn't be getting so spooked about some kinda gross kinda spidery horror movie from the 1980s, what kind of hero got freaked out at a little practical effects?

He couldn't see Red Son's face very well with only the light of the movie itself to see by, but he made a strange sort of humming noise and slipped his hand out of MK's, moving his arm to put the arm rest up and then slide his hand back into his own.

“Here, that should be more comfortable then.”

And it was. Red Son's factoids and chatter alongside the movie were doing well at cutting the edge off of it again, and it was aided by not just their connected hands, but now by his physical closeness as well.

“I've heard the director had this stylistic rule about after the Things start invading, the idea is that if a character has light reflecting off their eyes they're human, if not they're a Thing.”

“Most people think Palmers was the shadow the dog assimilated back earlier but I think it was Norris, Palmers didn't get turned into a thing until after they go and talk to Blair again I don't think.”

“Actually...I don't think I like that translation very much. Like yeah it's more polite and Gary's a gentleman, but 'I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter tied to this fucking couch' emphasizes the stress of the situation better.”

And then came the time of the final confrontation, MK braced himself, squeezed Red Son's hand in his own. It was indeed gross, and frightful, and the puppetry alone was REALLY good. All those moving parts and there's no way that THAT was an animatronic so it HAD to be a puppet. And wow that was a REALLY good explosion.

...huh...Apparently he could do it too.

The movie ended with what MK felt like was a tentatively optimistic note. The remaining two heroes sharing a drink as the research facility and the monsters it housed burned around them. And you maybe get the feeling the two of them won't survive the cold, but they stopped the monsters and that’s what matters.

Though MK was right to worry over the movie killing his apatite because by the time the lights went up and the credits rolled he found he wasn't very hungry. Which felt ridiculous since he was always in need of quick carbs for Monkie Kid things. But Red Son had lost his own apatite as well apparently and the two of them could do nothing but laugh a bit awkwardly at their date being derailed by a movie being a bit too gross.

So MK pulled him into a nearby park and they went for a walk instead of the restaurant they'd planned for.

“Most people think that Childs is a Thing and I'm tempted to agree, He doesn't have the eye shine but neither does MacReady and we know he's not a Thing, but MacReady's breath is steaming and Childs' doesn't until the very end there, and MacReady wasn't drinking, those were Molotov Cocktails, that was gasoline and Childs just downed it without a thought to taste or smell.”

“So you think the Thing won at the end?”

“I don't know, but they do have one flamethrower left and Childs whether he's a Thing or not just drank gasoline. So MacReady as a person is probably as good as dead.”

“I Dunno, I like the idea that he wasn't a Thing in the end, gives it something not dissimilar to a happy ending, but like, it's not like they hadn't been wrong about who was a Thing before. The dog handler wasn't a Thing but he got shot anyway.”

“That's very true.”

It was about there that MK realized he'd yet to let go of Red Son's hand.

Well... he hadn't pulled away... MK squeezed Red Son's hand in his own, and Red Son—on a tangent about how in the time before CGI they'd made the stylistic title card with use of a fishtank, garbage bag, flash paper and a lot of smoke—squeezed him back.

A few hours and a plate or two of street vendor food when either of their appetites returned later and Red Son had insisted on walking him home. He was staying in a penthouse that his family technically owned but he was the only one who actually knew about it, and he wanted to be a gentleman before he headed back there.

“Well,  I hope you enjoyed yourself a bit. I feel as though I should apologize for choosing such a niche film, mother always said I was the only one who cared about foreign horror movies and just because I find movie effects fascinating especially in a time before technology was as advanced as it is now doesn't mean I should subject others to my incessant yammering.”

he didn't really think Red Son could pull off shy, but he'd folded his arms tightly and was very pointedly NOT looking at him now. And Sure, this felt like a big step, but that playfully self deprecating tone wasn’t gonna fly here. He moved slowly, giving Red Son time to pull away if desired. Placing one hand on Red Son's shoulder, the other on the side of his face to turn his head. He had to get on his tiptoes to make it to his level, but he leaned in-

It was nice. Soft, and Red Son of course ran hotter than an average person so it was warm too. He pulled away just as he felt Red Son start to press back against him. When MK opened his eyes, he noticed Red Son's were still closed for a moment longer before fluttering open.

“I like your incessant yammering.” He had such a cute blush. “it means you're passionate about something.” 

“You... wanna come in? Monkey King gave me this new tea blend I've been meaning to try out.”

--

Prompt meme (I’ll stop when y’all stop sending stuff)

[kiraraneko]

CATS as reviewed by a furry

Apparently this is a movie review blog now lmao (listen I just have some Opinions™ I feel like writing down lately) You’ve already heard from a hundred sources about the terrible CGI and bad quality of the film overall, so I’m going to focus more on the characters themselves and how they’ve been translated from stage to film. As someone whose been a fan of CATS since childhood AND is active in the furry community, I hope this will be different from the other reviews. (YES THERE ARE SPOILERS)

Let’s just start this off by saying - everyone who keeps comparing this film to “furry porn” clearly is not familiar with furry porn, because the alleged “hornyness” of the actor portrayals is pretty in-line with the stage play. The only reason this movie comes off as so much more sexual is because the bad fur CGI doesn’t keep your brain from knowing these people are all basically nude. The stage play costumes feature fur tufts and limb wraps that work to somewhat hide the human silhouettes, whereas (even with some characters in coats and accessories) everyone’s fur in the movie is so skin-tight they end up being unmistakably human, so every sway and hip-thrust comes off as slightly disturbing in an uncanny way instead of feline and graceful.

Victoria the White Cat Now here’s where I’ll admit to my blatant bias - Victoria has always been my favorite cat (other than Rum Tum). Here’s a bit of trivia for you: Ever wonder why my fursona is a white cat? (Jumpcut to me as an 8 year old wearing a scarf around my waist, pretending to be Victoria). Her role in the play is small but she’s elegant, beautiful, and an incredibly talented dancer, and I always idolized her for that. So, you can imagine I was pretty delighted to find that she plays the role of “main character” in the film. Now in the play, the cats explain to the audience about who and what they are, with Munkustrap (the grey tabby) serving as a kind of narrator/translator and leader. Since you can’t exactly address a stage audience in a movie, Victoria fills that role of the “questioning onlooker”, which I feel fits her character very well considering she’s both a younger/newer cat to the Jellicle scene and she was the first to accept Grizabella, which connects her nicely to the entire story (both in the play and the movie). What I was markedly less jazzed about was the addition of her own song in the movie. I think it was a nice attempt to expand her role, but as an extension to Memories, I found Beautiful Ghosts to be frankly kind of boring and unnecessary. She’s essentially saying to Grizabella “I was just abandoned and I don’t have anything, at least you have good memories to look back on” which to me, came off as belittling to Grizabella with a dash of “poor me” for Victoria. However, the reprise version with Old Deuteronomy I actually ended up liking much more. It is less condescending when two old cats are singing to one another, versus a kitten who has their whole life ahead of them lecturing Grizabella about a past she knows nothing about. One last thing I’ll note about Victoria is her slight re-design in the movie - she’s been given some light striping patterning as opposed to being a pure white cat. This doesn’t bother me at all as I assume when it comes to lighting and rendering, pure white fur would have been too distracting on screen. Jennyanydots / The Gumbie Cat I’ll just come right out and say that this segment was probably the worst translation from the play in the entire movie, and it happens early in the film, so you’re already questioning what the hell the rest of the movie is going to be like. In the play, she’s a slow-paced and motherly type cat that only becomes energetic at night, when she sheds her fur to reveal a vibrant coat and goes to work teaching vermin of the house good manners and skills like crocheting (as opposed to hunting them, like other cats would do). In the movie, she’s flitting about the kitchen like a hyperactive rabbit, rampantly consumes some of the insects she’s painstakingly coached, and whines about wishing to leave her household. If this butchering of her character weren’t enough, they actually included the fur-shedding bit in an incredibly disturbing skin-unzipping sequence where she steps out of her cat skin to reveal a sparkly dress underneath. Characters in the CATS play occasionally do wear some clothing accessories, but this movie does not know the meaning of subtlety, and various characters are wearing fullbody clothes which even further breaks any illusion of these characters being cats. It just constantly wants to remind you that these are human people in unitards jumping around on a greenscreen. Rum Tum Tugger Undoubtedly a fan favorite, Rum Tum is the rockstar cat who swoons all the kittens and makes a general ruckus, with stylistic influences of Mick Jagger and Elvis. To say the least, I thought his part in the movie was fine, but certainly doesn’t quite have the punch to it that the stage play does. The movie has him breaking into a 50′s style diner while milk is liberally poured for all the younger cats. Both his character and that of the Gumbie cat’s are diminished further as she makes fun of his singing and dance moves - which may have been a funny addition, if it weren’t for her alleging his show-offiishness to a recent neutering. This joke just went a little too far in my opinion, and really detracted from the rest of Rum Tum’s performance. Bustopher Jones A very charming and gentlemanly cat, Bustopher’s sequence started well and then just got really weird. His song prominently describes his love of fine dining, his cheerful demeanor, and his well-groomed fur. The last of which was directly contradicted in the movie, as he rolled around in actual garbage making an utter mess of himself. He’s shown gorging himself through the entire segment with increasing fervor, until it’s just a bit too much to bear witness to. At one point, he’s meant to trapeze into a trash can, but the cat who jumps on the other end of the catapult is markedly smaller, and nothing happens. This is actually quite a funny moment, until once again, the joke goes a little too far and Bustopher comments being “sensitive about his weight”. This is just.. a bizarre comment considering he’s sung an entire song about being charmingly large and we’ve just watched him unabashedly stuff his face for five solid minutes. Applying human weight-shaming to the ideals of a cat is just completely unnecessary, awkward, and contradictory to his character. It changes him from an indulgent but experienced chap into something to be pitied. Asparagus / Gus the Theatre Cat Possibly my favorite segment of the movie, this is the only part I actually teared up at. As a child, I always thought Gus was a very boring character with a boring part, but watching as an adult I can understand and appreciate him much better. Sir Ian McKellen did an absolutely phenomenal job of channeling the frail, endearing, proud character of Gus (despite the wonky camera work of the scene). This might be the only part of the movie that matched, or perhaps even exceeded the stage play version, and I don’t think it’s any surprise that it also happens to be the most subdued sequence, relying almost entirely on character acting and line delivery, instead of fancy effects cluttering up the screen (as this musical should be). The end of his storytelling features some “lightning strikes” for emphasis, created by what I imagine would be a simple shadow stencil, and it added some genuine atmosphere to the idea of Gus as a performer with simple stage effects. It was a nice subtle touch, and I only wish the rest of the movie could have been more like that. I found his line condemning “modern productions” to be more poignant than ever before, and it makes you wonder if this movie suddenly became painfully self-aware.  Also I just want to throw this in: Before Gus’s song, there’s an unintentionally hilarious shot of Mr. Mistoffelees walking up on him drinking milk from a dish, except Gus is mostly in shadow with his cat features obscured and is standing fully upright, so he just appears to be a hobo man lapping at a dish, like someone legit just walked up on Ian McKellen being a complete fucking weirdo.  Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer This segment was another one that just didn’t come across quite right. These two are mischievous partners in crime, causing mayhem and stealing treasures. The '98 film version characterizes them as playful and upbeat, delighting in trouble-making, but they don’t seem to be quite experienced or clever enough to get away 100% of the time. The 2019 version came off as almost.. sinister to me. They coerce Victoria into stealing, frame her, and then leave her to what could nearly be her death, all while sort of talking through their lines with a cold inflection. This is supposed to take after the original ���languid” London version, but they don’t play off each other very well and you don’t get a sense of the fun, amusing partnership they’re supposed to have. It’s mostly just watching them destroy several rooms of a house and then leaving Victoria to her fate like utter assholes. I don’t really have anything more to say on these two, it was just kind of bland and forgetful and leaves you disliking them instead of enjoying watching them have a fun romp. Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat I would give Skimbleshanks the award for “most baffling redesign”. As mentioned earlier, this movie takes cats-wearing-clothing to an uncanny level, and this is certainly the uncanny-est. While the play version has him in a cute waistcoat and arm warmers with elbow patches to give a “train conductor” vibe, the movie has him in full bright red overalls, with other reviews calling him “gay nightclub Mario”, lmao! As much as I wanted to enjoy this number, the sight of him was just too weird to look past.  The tap dancing during his skit was a fitting addition to his character - he is quite bouncy and light on his feet, so I thought it suited him very well and really liked that part. His song picks up after that, with all the cats dancing on the rail and there’s more weird camera work, at one point zooming out so ridiculously far it’s actually jarring. The rest of his song was okay, a CGI greenscreen that can do anything you want unfortunately just isn’t as creative and inspiring as watching actors build a train engine representation out of junkyard scraps on an actual stage.  Magical Mr. Mistoffelees The movie really took some liberties with this character, and I’m still on the fence about whether it was a good choice or not. In the play, Mistoffelees is a magician cat, performing tricks through his segment (including the most complex dance routine of any character) while other cats usually sing about his feats (in the ‘98 film, it’s Rum Tum). They went for the younger, unsure version of Mistoffelees in this new movie, and doubled up on it by turning him into something of a comedic-relief character. He doesn’t quite have a handle on his magic, and he trips up on his words and his feet several times through the movie. This would have been fine if his musical number hadn’t been such a let down. This is supposed to be his grand moment, but his “magic” ends up being underwhelming and the chorus repeats for SO long you’re practically begging for it to end. Where “Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees?” was once a cheerful and upbeat line, it will certainly become a droning echo in your mind after watching this movie. The added plot of his implied attraction to Victoria I also found kind of weird, though I’ll admit that might just be my personal tastes. I always liked Mistoffelees being a more aloof kind of cat.  Grizabella / The Glamour Cat Alright buckle in, I’ve got some strong opinions about this one. Grizabella is undeniably the star of CATS - she’s an incredibly emotional character, visually intriguing, and her performance in the musical is nothing short of heartbreaking. She was referred to as “the Glamour Cat” in her prime, but it has turned into an almost mocking title as the other cats reject and shun her. We never really know why, but it can be implied she may have been cold and elitist to the other cats who once adored her, or had some other tragic and sudden fall from grace. Despite Jennifer Hudson putting in a damn good effort to play the role of this character, the movie itself let her down. The CATS play and the Jellicle ball which it centers around, while being a musical, is foremost a ball in which cats perform for the honor of being chosen. The dancing is just as important as the singing, and Grizabella’s character is heavily communicated by her posture. She’s hunched, stiff and limping, reaching out for others to accept her, and at one point even attempts to mimic some of the other cat’s dance moves before slinking away in shame. The 2019 movie paradoxically chooses to use extremely tight face-shots for just about every character routine. It is frustrating and claustrophobic to watch a movie where cats who are supposed to be expressing their character through movement are shown from only the shoulders up, just standing there singing into a camera - and this frustration is paramount at the Grizabella sequences.  Jennifer Hudson, singing her absolute heart out with tears pouring down her face, is still emotionally lacking because of the terrible cinematography refusing to show her doing any actual acting. I was so distracted by the mucus running down her face that I couldn’t even connect with her. I thought the costuming of Grizabella was very well done, but you barely got to see any of it. Overall a very disappointing performance, because Hudson was doing all the right things, and it could have been great if the movie had met her even halfway. Macavity the Mystery Cat Played by the incredible Idris Elba, Macavity underwent some heavy changes and expansion in this new movie. He’s the main antagonist of the play, and most of his antics like committing serious crimes and alluding the police are sung about as rumors but doesn’t himself sing, and actually doesn’t have any speaking lines in the play, adding to his mysterious character. When he eventually appears, he battles with Munkustrap and steals Deuteronomy (who is brought back by Mistoffelees). Macavity is usually depicted with vibrant clashing colors, wild hair, and uses quick threatening movements, while the Idris Elba version rein-visioned him as extremely sleek, black-furred, and sly and cunning, often emerging from the shadows to tempt other cats with their vices. He is given numerous speaking lines, and his villainy is expanded on as he kidnaps the other cats in an attempt to be the chosen Jellicle. I actually quite like this interpretation of the character, and it makes him a little more relatable instead of the vicious enigma he is in the play.  Something of note is just how literally the new movie took the rumors of Macavity’s powers. His abilities, which were muted and used sparingly in the play, were used constantly and without hesitation in this movie. He spends most of his time teleporting other characters and creating illusions, but then uses trickery to try and win the Jellicle ball, and fails to demonstrate his power of levitation when it really matters. So whether he does or doesn’t have real powers seems to be.. situational to say the least. Another thing I want to point out is just how uncomfortably sudden Macavity’s reveal is. He spends most of the movie in the shadows hidden under an oversized coat and hat, and then suddenly appears at the Jellicle ball without any disguise on whatsoever. Idris Elba is a damn fine looking dude, and you can clearly see his very human-shaped abs beneath his sleek Macavity fur, which is so close to his actual skintone that I’ve seen him described as “extra naked” and it’s pretty accurate. You just really aren’t prepared for this moment when it happens. Growltiger This guy is a rough and rowdy pirate-esque character with a dramatic love life. His segment was cut from the ‘98 film, so seeing the play in person is just about the only way to experience it. Because of this, it’s probable that many people may not even be aware of this character, so I was pretty excited to hear that he would be featured in the 2019 movie. Growltiger is quite overdue for his time in the mainstream spotlight. Turns out, unfortunately, Growltiger's Last Stand is not what you get. His appearance in the movie is more or less a cameo with a short introduction, and the rest of the time he’s serving as Macavity‘s henchman in the background. This is based on the 2015 revival of him as a dock worker, but I feel it was a weak representation of his character, and really wish he’d been shown in a better light. The movie cuts out pretty much every fight scene, and Growltiger‘s would have been dramatic and fun to watch, especially after Gus’s reminiscing. Instead, he was kind of lazily thrown into a river by Gus, who previously bragged about playing the role of Growltiger on stage, which is kind of an interesting juxtaposition if you don’t think about it too hard. Old Deuteronomy A surprising change was the decision to make Deuteronomy female, played by Judi Dench. I love old grandpa Deuteronomy, but this didn’t really bother me. Deuteronomy is a wise, beloved leader of the Jellicles and there’s not really anything integral about the character that says they couldn’t be female. Deuteronomy carries himself with dignity, but isn’t afraid to dance along with the songs of the other more lively cats, and Judi Dench certainly has an air of authority and respect about her. The character’s songs are reflective and thought-provoking, but once again, the 2019 movie fails to make any of these sequences actually entertaining. The absolute worst part of the entire movie comes at the very end, when Deuteronomy makes horrific, unblinking eye contact with the camera, and slowly talks her way through the Ad-Dressing of Cats. This is absolutely bewildering considering how the movie deliberately sets up Victoria as a main character in place of the audience, only to completely chuck that out the window of a moving car just to break the 4th wall in the most uncomfortable way possible and directly address the audience anyway. What is even the point? I can’t imagine there’s a single person that would watch that and be okay with it. The Ad-Dressing of Cats is supposed to be a cute, fun little recap of everything the cats supposedly taught you, but this movie made it feel like a lecturing stare-down. Other notes The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles was cut entirely from the movie, which is fine because it isn’t integral to the story or anything, considering it was also cut from the stage play when I saw it live. I kind of shudder to think of how The Great Rumpus Cat would have been interpreted in this movie, so I think we were all probably spared some indignities.  While this movie was watchable and certainly an interesting take on the play, it creatively added very little and only succeeded in making me desperately want to go watch the ‘98 musical. I thought at least this movie would be a fun soundtrack to view, but many of the songs just didn’t have the punchiness, joy, charm, or energy that I’m used to. There were parts of it that I liked enough to say this isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but that’s not exactly a glowing review. From the perspective of a theatre fan and a furry: If I want to see CATS, I’m most certainly going to choose the filmed musical over this new movie any day.  I’m infinitely more charmed by the graceful 80′s style dancers of the play than I am by the uncanny valley, painfully human cat-people of the new movie (and honestly I haven’t seen a single piece of fanart for it, so that really tells you all you need to know).

[thesporkidentity]

What is your current hyperfixation?

a chinese story called mo dao zu shi by mo xiang tong xiu (and the subsequent adaptations)

if anyone wants to get into it just be aware that it is at times problematic but like. there is nothing idealogically pure on this earth so just. i am aware of its flaws and i still greatly enjoy it get off my back lol.

anyway, the premise of it is that there are “cultivators” in ancient china who are people who cultivate their spiritual energy to fight monsters, ghosts, zombies, etc. they’re basically the supernatural hunters. they also sometimes use musical instruments to fight and can silver surfer around on their swords which is bonkers and i love it. also it is explicitly gay the two leads fall in extreme slow burn love and eventually have sex and become monster-hunter married. (as i read it i’d say the main character is bi and the love interest is arguably demi-gay both of which i love)

anyway, the story takes place in two different time periods, the story’s present day and then 13-16 years in the past. so prepare for a big dose of flashback syndrome where for entire groups of chapters you will abandon the main plot and be plunged into the past.

“As the grandmaster who founded the Demonic Sect, Wei WuXian roamed the world in his wanton ways, hated by millions for the chaos he created. In the end, he was backstabbed by his dearest shidi and killed by powerful clans that combined to overpower him. He incarnates into the body of a lunatic who was abandoned by his clan and is later, unwillingly, taken away by a famous cultivator among the clans—Lan WangJi, his archenemy. This marks the start of a thrilling yet hilarious journey of attacking monsters, solving mysteries, and raising children. From the mutual flirtation along the way, Wei WuXian slowly realizes that Lan WangJi, a seemingly haughty and indifferent poker-face, holds more feelings for Wei WuXian than he is letting on.”

there’s monster hunting, romance, political intrigue, murder mystery. it’s just a really fun story that combines a bunch of different genres inside a xianxia novel. it also makes me cry like a little bitch at times but like, whatever

it might be difficult to get into at first because it’s not written in a western-novel style and is a translation (though a quite good one). there is also a manhua and a donghua (second season i think is set to come out in august?). though they will likely try to keep the gay as subtext and bro homo it due to media restrictions. but i can tell you they’re at least leaning really hard into the subtext it’s very obvious the source material was gay even if they can’t go there in the show. the art and animation and music are gorgeous like.

stunning

i am currently watching the live-action adaptation (entitled The Untamed unlike the others which take the same name as the book) which took the book plot as just a sort of vague suggestion and as such is just like. absolutely banana pancakes at times. but the main actors are so good and the scenery and music and the costuming/makeup plus crouching tiger hidden dragon fight choreography are all wonderful they can make up for the inconsistent plot and kinda bad cgi, and the inconsistencies get less frequent as the show finds its footing. starring

the most perfect sunshine boy who regrettably expresses affection by being as annoying as humanly possible towards everyone he loves

conceal, don’t feel. arwen undomiel if she’d been born a chinese man look at him and tell me i’m wrong. also suffers from a terminal case of Dramatic Bitch Syndrome just look at this

honestly

stankface mcgee, high lord of Done With Your Shit who looks exactly how i pictured him from the book even more than any other actor

too good for this world, too pure: the “i once saw a woman so beautiful i started crying” story

well i guess my brother’s a weird zombie now but we’re just gonna have to deal with this as a family

in conclusion: it’s a wild ride but i really love the characters and like, be careful if you do read it ask me if you have specific triggers and i’ll happily do my best. but i really like it *jazz hands*

[yiulee999]

Hey! What do you think of OPM season 2? I still love it & am looking forward to next weeks new episode but i just wish Saitama had more screen time ;-(

hey nonny~! 

apologies for the late reply, its a combo of not getting notifications (tumblr u useless trashbucket) and being on surgery rotation (i miss sleeping so much) 

firstly, i am truly glad you still love it and look forward to the new episodes!!! 💖💖💖please dont let anything i say from this point on dissuade you from that enjoyment 

THAT BEING SAID 

///cut for length 

ive only watched up to the second episode, and i am having Such Difficulties convincing myself to keep watching. i know my rxns to ep 1 were overall pretty positive and I stand by it but the more i watch the more the Cringe/Hypercritique starts take over. 

Turns out, the art style had a bigger impact than i thought on the length of which i enjoy shows. personally, i just really like when anime/shows have a happy marriage between writing and artwork. and when show directors know how to interpret writing, how to set up a scene (the angle, the music, the pacing), and then communicate with artists who have the skills to bring that idea to life using the medium they’re given -- that’s when writing becomes storytelling. OPM’s writing is still fantastic since they’re going off ONE (whereas GoT has the opposite problem where the production value is 4K and the writing is early 2000s livejournal/fanfiction lol god why is everyone dropping the ball in 2019??)

As for the art, since opm switched to jc staff and shingo natsume & co. left for other projects ( ;;_____;; im emo ), its inevitable we would see a drop in animation quality and i find myself constantly getting distracted by things i never used to get concerned about in the first season (bc of the high bar of expectations set by s1 artists/directors, like theres just no way jc staff would match up it to all of that and i feel bad for them, they’re trying their best but that doesn’t mean theyre immune to critique on the artistic liberties that they’ve taken that i feel as a viewer, may not have been the best choice?) 

the shading: no, just, unnecessary and distracting and why is it the center of saitamas face, im by far no expert in lighting but a bish can tell something doesnt look right??? 

the shading pt II: color choices. just gonna say i was not expecting sai’s ‘hair shirt’ in ep 1 to be bright-ass neon green, it was a little jarring at first and i miss him in red ;-; i get hes supposed to have poor fashion choices but i dont see him as the type to pick something that stands out so much in the crowd, like he likes to be left alone. NEON doesnt really relay ‘hi dont mind me im just barely existing here lol’ 

the shading pt III: genos arms/neck. okaY so the bby looks good in screenshots. like he’s shiny and nice to look at when nothings moving. bUT this is animation?? movement of objections is different from still life manga so making every single scene almost 99% like murata’s panels translates a little awkwardly to the screen (like staff is lucky bc murata’s a force of nature with his panels playing out like a movie for ref). but when genos moves, the arms are just distracting bc everything around him is drawn simply without shadows so they stand out by themselves and i (visually) forget about the rest of him haha. 

the pacing: it feels scripted, person A says this so we’ll show person A in the shot, then person B is saying something so we have to cut to person B, etc etc like keeping pretty steady to manga lines to the point where i was starting to get bored bc i knew what was coming. it was really intervaled? like someone had to be saying something at a certain effect and i think s1 had more dramatic pauses (lol) but thats how you can place emphasis on scenes to have an emotional impact if the character doesnt say anything and just let the soundtrack do some talking and the cadence of the script will change too (im 10000% talking about the sunset scene in s1 god bless. like it was slow, there was MOOD there wasn’t any rush and really gave the viewer time to think about the relationship between the two characters and what that moment meant to each of them) i feel like there were several scenes that could have been more like in the scene where sai protected fubuki, could have been a little more dramatically emphasized (aka just a pause) so the viewer could get a chance to understand that he purprosefully shielded her or when genos says that strong heroes are drawn to saitama--bUT nope its the same pace, like c l o c k w o r k just like my t eARS--

the fight scenes: how do i even start. the one scene that got me INTO opm (like watching the anime, reading the manga, drawing fanart, writing fanfic, reading fanfics etc) was kickstarted by the fight scene between genos and saitama in s1 that was circulating on tumblr a while back. i thought the characters were interesting and the fight was badass and it just looked SO COOL. (also the forehead flick at the end just kinda sealed my fate). going from that to s2 fight scenes where its mostly cut scenes and freeze scenes?? where theres a cut out behind the characters back?? during a fight scene????? this isn’t a calling card or an anime opening??? i dont understand. when they dont do cut scenes, its interesting but my initial impression is just underwhelmed. i can find good parts but it feels like i have to replay the scene to notice it? theres also an overwhelming amount of graphics/cgi manipulation that overpowers the actual art sometimes. its lacking some of the fluidity that comes from hand drawn fight scenes from first season. OTL

the sound directing: so i thought that the mood just felt off for certain scenes and the sound didn’t seem to support the scene as well (unless it was like the character’s theme or smtg) and i looked it up and the sound director was also replaced (Yoshikazu Iwanami replacing Shoji Hata). i have no idea if the sound director is also in charge of character lines but there were parts were fubuki was monologuing and i had no idea she was inner monologuing, i thought she was talking out loud and that just took extra effort on my part to re-orient myself (im nitpitcking i know but its just how i watch shows lol) 

there are still some parts i like about the animation:

fubuki looks bangin and i love her👌👗

all of this just made me realize how insanely lucky we were to have an amazing s1 and just have it exist and how i really could not care less if they had just waited forever to make s2 as long as we had the same crew come back. but anime is still a business and the quicker they dish out merch/seasons, the more money they can bring in. which they do in the short run but they would bring in more if they spent a little more on quality in the long run and it becomes one of those classics that ppl will rewatch and keep recommending to ppl who want to get into anime and oh my god we’re never gonna have that now, are we. if im gonna rec it to a friend its gonna be ‘read the manga!’ or ‘just watch s1!’ uGH. its just an unfortunate situation, its not one person’s fault either, so many factors go into what made opm s1 so spectacular and seeing s2 just made me appreciate s1 more. i guess im happy to have a s2 regardless? 

i’ll still watch to support (and bc i like suiryuu and wanna see sai in a karate gi and wig lol). maybe i just have to get used to the new style. 

so in summary,

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Astra 4 - 6 | Demon Slayer 17 - 19 | Cop Craft 4 - 6 | Dr Stone 3 - 6 | Fruits Basket 15 - 19 | Given 3 - 5

Astra 4

How does anyone wash their hands with a spacesuit on?

Those exaggerated faces (reaction to candy plants) weren’t in the manga. Good thing too – they improve on the source.

Hey, man (Ulgar)! “Big girl” is offensive. (I’m probably saying that because I’m not too big myself.)

The *ding ding ding!* was pretty hilarious…LOL.

I remember this was pretty harsh to read for me the first time…because y’know what they say about representation mattering in feminist studies/articles? Yeah, that. (Exactly how I’m represented? That I’ll leave to your imagination…)

Aw, the Gruppie sounds adorable!

I think I’ve said this already, but Kanata uses the word “zetsubou” – despair, not necessarily “hopeless” – to say what he says.

Demon Slayer 17

I was a bit confused as to why Inosuke was majorly angry all the time, but then I realised that he’s not necessarily angry, per se - he is just majorly competitive.

*head on spider legs appears* ARGHHHHHHHHHHH! That reminds me of that head on spider legs from Toy Story…I seem to remember that freaked me out to some degree. I’m actually not afraid of spiders, but show me an image for “trypophobia” (fear of tiny holes) or stick me somewhere high up without secure footing…and I’m gone.

This episode is…great! I’m cursing as I watch, but it’s great! The CGI is adding to the creepiness! Also, I so didn’t expect Zenitsu to have black hair.

I agree with Zenitsu’s master, he is a moron…

…but truth be told, I think I see myself in him. That’s probably why I find him so annoying. Lately, I’ve found there are periods where I resent myself more than anyone else…and that’s the scariest part about living life. But I can’t complain, because I put my name down to help others in the same situation.

Z-Zenitsu! I-I’m sorry I ever doubted you! I’m so sorry…! I promise I’ll stop thinking you’re annoying, because you remind me of meeeeeeeeeee…! *sob, snivel, sob…*

Ukogiiiiiiiiii! Wahhhhhhhhh!

Hmm…you can smell rain. I’ve smelt it before. But thunderclouds…? Not so much.

Demon Slayer 18

“Rookie Mizunoto join the battle!” – The Smash Bros intro is a fun way to introduce people, no?

I thought Shinobu Kocho was Naruto running, but instead she has her jacket on her shoulders…so it only looks like Naruto running.

CG models are back to being awkward again…

“If you can’t slash something with one sword, you just gotta pound it with another sword!” – Basically, the philosophy of the entire shonen genre when dealing with swords.

“I’m gonna die.” – Well, there’s some words I thought I’d never hear from Inosuke…

Oh yeah…I forgot Inosuke’s never met Giyu.

Hmm…I’ve been suspecting Rui is the member of the 12 Kizuki as a demon with lower possibility of being so (but being raised by Ply’s hint during our collab and Tanjiro’s fight), but I’m more certain of the father being the 12 Kizuki based on what the series has shown us already. Hmm…so who is it???

*starts watching Taisho Secret* Wait, where did Giyu come from??? *watches again* Oh, he appears from above…! Interesting…

Hmm…I like salmon onigiri myself. I also like tuna…most flavours, really.

Cop Craft 4

The man (?) with the purplish hair who called Kei over is meant to be a gay stereotype or at least close to one. Aside from his (?) appearance, you can tell by him (?) nding his sentences with “wa”.

Marth’s post for ep. 4 said “And Suddenly, Vampires”, so…I’m thinking about how Cop Craft actually does the horror vibe really well as I watch.

Aw, these cliffhangers suck! I’m starting to thank myself that I ran behind on every show but Demon Slayer.

Cop Craft 5

O-Oh, the CG is getting worse…

Who was the 2nd person dead? The 1st was Chapman…

Astra 5

As I’m laughing at the reactions from the makeover (because I knew this was coming), I’m simultaneously wondering…holding those scissors in the way you’re doing is dangerous, Luca!!!

Oh great…midseason animation slump. This is only the 2nd show to suffer from that this season…and I’ve only caught up on 3 shows so far.

“Mine is bigger!” “No, mine is!” – Ah, anime boys and their ability to make things vaguely Freudian when out of context…*slight sweatdrop*

*slow pan, with a final shot on Aries’s boobs* - Oh, really…? *grumpy*

*…then proceeds to do boob shots of all the girls* Oh, really?!? You wanna go, show?! You were doing so well, up until this episode!!! I didn’t read past volume 2 of the manga, so this beach stuff is all new to me!!! Plus, it sucks because boob shots are everywhere!!!

“…approach him like that…”

People have been pointing this out, but McPa = Camp, Shummoor = Mushroom, Vilavurs = Survival…so Arispade = Paradise.

Ulgar really reminds me of Tooi, even though he came first…

Dr Stone 3

Taiju’s ugly tears make me go “d’aww” now that this scene is animated…it was nice in manga format, but even better when it was moving and with colour.

Now that I think about it, Tsukasa’s “benefit of the new world” talk reminds me of Death Note.

Senku trying to steal Kamakura Buddha bronze looks like Bart Simpson…

Boueibu should’ve taught you that Hakone is home to hot springs.

Dr Stone 4

You don’t fire a smoke signal…

Oh wow, Mecha Senku! Wouldya lookit that! *points at him* He answers questions in the manga, so I didn’t think he’d get adapted!

Are those…CGI trees? Oh great, why does all shonen these days need CGI trees???

Fighting over established interests means a Thucydides trap (a mini version of which seems to be playing out here with Tsukasa)…that’s basically the only thing I remember from my old politics classes.

I just noticed Yuzuriha refers to all the boys with –kun. She wants to stay friends with all of them…I guess even Tsukasa’s on that list, huh?

Hmm…Senku’s eyes are a reddish colour, but otherwise he’s normally representd with blue to Taiju’s red…

I just realised Senku has a red pen and a black pen in one of his breast pockets.

Aww…it’s nice to have rivals who aren’t 100% evil for once. Sure, pure evil rivals are easy to write but hard to justify. Good guys with one morally wrong aspect to them are harder to write, but easier to get behind. (Plus, at least they’re not Sasuke-style angsty.)

Dr Stone 5

So…I went searching…and I was wondering why I wanted to claim Tsukasa as husbando (but man, he’s a bit more stereotypical for a gal to fall in love with – all girls like bad guys, amirite???), but as it turns out, Senku and his buds from our era (Tsukasa included) are 18 and so are ripe for the husbando/waifu picking (not to mention they’re technically over 3700 years old, which more than makes them legal for things like drinking alcohol, as Senku himself pointed out a few eps back).

D’aww…this was in the manga, but now I find Tsukasa inserting himself into Senku’s flashback cute.

Notably, Gen Asagiri appears on the front of the book this student is asking the question from. Who’s Gen Asagiri, you ask, my dear anime-only random nonexistent entity I type these notes for? You’ll find out…soon.

Hmm…Yuzuriha is more observant than we give her credit for. Also, Senku pulled a Gen Asagiri right there…LOL.

LOL…those ‘shrooms seem massively symbolic. They were also in the manga, IIRC.

Why does Yuzuriha wear a neck scarf, anyway?

Hey, they even managed to get the game-like text box right! Awesome! (It reminds me of Little Alchemy, to be honest.)

“Himo” translates to rope…or a cord. Just FYI.

Astra 6

Eyyy…this show is calling me out.

Eyyyyy…Toi vibes from Ulgar!!!

Eyyyyy…wut? I can’t believe Anime Feminist was on the money here??? (Context: The reviewer for Astra said Luca was “one ambiguously-gendered character”.)

Hey…I once read a book with a 50% similarity to this plot. (There was a gay character – not intersex - and all the characters are adopted.)

I think Xenodude said this, but…in space, nobody can hear you scream.

I’m laughing so hard…why are Kanata’s abs the thing that hurt the most? (It’s because he’s got the harness in that region…forget I asked. It’s still funny though.)

“MILD THING” – Yep, Ulgar’s gonna be mild after what happened this episode…

Ohhhhh, I didn’t understand the “hairpiece” thing until it was revealed it was a toupee through context.

Ooh, 50% chance of lying here. Who to trust, who to trust? Charce or Aries? (I trust Aries, by the way.)

Dr Stone 6

The alien explanation etc. was in the manga, but…why do all the attackers look like Senku???

Senku does his best Thinker impression.

Eyyy! Fighter vs. fighter. I love this scene, even if only because Tsukasa (and his muscles) have the upper hand in both the visual angle and the power balance, although [BLEEP <- no spoilers!] has the surprise factor.

I remember learning once blonde hair is recessive…so does that mean most of the community is blonde? (I know the answer to that, but you, my non-existent anime-discussing entity, don’t.)

I’m tempted to hear Senku scream, “This. Is. SCIENCE!!!”

Fruits Basket 15

For some reason, videos run much faster on my phone than my laptop…

Hmm…this is the first time I’m properly listening to the 2nd ED…It’s kinda like how you’d expect an ED to be: quieter than an ED, but still serving up cuteness.

Fruits Basket 16

This episode’s visually very dark…

Middle School!Tohru reminds me of Hitori Bocchi.

Smol Uo looks like Kyo.

Fruits Basket 17

(nothing this time, sorry!)

Fruits Basket 18

Oh! I remember the matching scene in the manga (where Kisa bites Tohru for the first time).

I also remember the manga Hatsuharu is reading is called “Mogeta and the Ant” (Ari).

Now you see why Tohru is Kyoko’s daughter…

“…what her hair and eye colour were.”

Fruits Basket 19

The ep is called “I’m So Sorry!”…I think I know who’s going to star in this episode, alright…

For some reason, when I see Ritsu and Mitchan apologising to each other, I think of me and Astral…(LOL…?)

…Or maybe it reminds me of Zenitsu…?

Eyyyyyyyy, A-ya is A-ya…

This overly-apologetic character of Ritsu…this is why Martin was my favourite character back in the original Ro.Te.O days…*sighs while basking in nostalgia*

Demon Slayer 19

This episode’s been hyped since last week. Let’s get on with it!

Ooh, no pattern on this title card…

Wow (sarcastic), talk about infighting…but amazingly, I found Inosuke’s art shift to be funny for once in my life! (Amazing!...and yes, the exclamation of “Amazing!” is sincere)

Using terror is…well, Machiavellian. Hard power. You get my drift, right?

So basically, Rui breaks down the nuclear family for us.

Wait a flippin’ second…Hinokami (god of fire)? Charcoal selling? Water Breathing??? One of these is not like the others, for sure.

I get the feeling the father’s dance was recorded as video then converted to animation by ufotable staff…that’s what they did for YoI, no?

“The cold won’t bother you, either.” - Well, due to his fire theming, the cold never bothered Tanjiro anyway…*echoes of “Let It Go” suddenly play in the background*

Go for it, Nezuko! Be the Bakugo of the Demon Slayer world!

According to the credits, Tanjiro’s dad’s name is Tanjuro…that’s confusing, to say the least…

(Sorry Astral, the background noise while I was watching meant I did’t watch it with sound on…Also, is it wrong that I think the dad is hot??? Another thing: why do Tanjuro and Tanjiro have matching scars on their temples…?)

One of Tanjiro’s bros looks like Zenitsu??? Wuh???

Ooh, insert song “Kamado Tanjiro’s Song” by Go Shiina ft Nami Nakagawa. I’ll have to listen to it when I can. (Ever since SGRS, I’ve loved Go Shiina’s work…guess I didn’t expect it here, though.) Update: Misattributed the work. Go Shiina does videogame work, Sheens Ringo did SGRS stuf.

Given 3

I never knew that asking someone into a band was like asking someone out…(probably because I’ve never been in a band).

Given’s a frickin’ riot – that’s one reason I stuck with it.

I forgot Mafuyu was underage…!

Cop Craft 6

That car chase was basically Need for Speed…with worse graphics…

“Prayboy”…hmm…

I followed Kei’s advice to Google Jeffrey Dahmer…and I regret it.

The text says “Someone from the Semanian gang of thieves made contact.”

I didn’t make sense of “I hate being McCloud” until I rewound a bit and found that’s a disguise or alter ego of Tony’s.

“Shift the transmission into ‘Reverse’. The car will begin to roll backward sharply…” - The driving instructions are real, at least.

Given 4

Ehhhhh…still shots…

Kaji sure looks tough for a violinist…but a music major? Never thought he’d be one…(I saw some spoilers saying Kaji was a violinist before I watched the episode, hence my lack of surprise in that department.)

Not everyone’s in a band, y’know…

$120…? Nasty…

$70…

Ah, a layby? I don’t actually know what other countries call it, but where I am they’re called laybys, not layaways. (At the charity store I volunteer at, they call ‘em “holds”, though…which makes things even more confusing.)

Watching th first ep at the anime club made me realise that one had a piano version of Marutsuke, while this one is standard Marutsuke.

Given 5

Ooh, I see English-translated lyrics! Nice one, subbers! By the way, the title of the OP “Kizuato” sounds like it should translate to “Traces of Scars/Wounds” in English, but it’s in katakana, so I can’t confirm that…

It seems joining a band is a metaphor for love in this show…(see ep. 3 notes for more on that)

Holy moly! I’m still fairly new to BL/yaoi in general, so two-timing the boyfriend is not a trope ‘ve seen before, let alone dealt with in my head…

Ooh, more translated lyrics! That (ED singer) does sound like Mafuyu, come to think of it…

[95liners3rdmember]

Worth It

Chapter Eleven: Now you know. (Part 2)

Word Count: 4239

Chapter 10: What now? (Part 1)

After spending a few minutes alone to regain my composure, I finally made my way back out into the main set. All of the stylists are chatting away with my sister, who’s glowing with joy but I can also see the underlying irritation in her smile. Tonight’s going to be a long night.

It looks like all of the members have momentarily forgotten about the situation they walked into earlier as they follow directions from the main photographer. With caution I walk towards my sister and stylists, I wonder what they are going to say about my puffy eyes and red nose. When I make it to them, Natalie wraps around me like a small child burying her face into my shoulder. Back when she was a toddler this is how she would cling to me begging me not to go to school. I guess she’s taking the situation harder than I thought.

“Your sister really has an act for styling y/n. I might just have to steal her when she graduates from school.” The head stylist sounds serious as she watches my sister clings to me. My arm wraps around Natalie’s waist letting her get closer.

“I would hope so, she’s spent her whole life studying to be the best.” Thankfully my voice doesn’t crack and no one comments about my dazed appearance.

Someone shouts from across the set and all of the stylist hurry off in direction. I can tell that Natalie wants to follow them but she’s trying to make sure that I’m okay. Honestly I won’t be fine until after tonight when I have to spill everything to Jimin. Nothing can prepare me for that or get me into the right mind space either. It’s going to be a rushed conversation too.

“Go ahead, I’ll catch up with you at lunch okay.” Softly she nods before rushing off with the other stylists. Across the large room I can see manager Sejin talking with a few other men and they keep glancing over in my direction. I really hope I’m just being paranoid, because the last thing I need today is any more drama. Turning my attention to the members, I can’t help but smile at the quick change in character they do. One second they are all smiles and laughing then with the click of the camera they turn serious. I could learn a thing or two from them, hiding my emotions isn’t an easy thing for me. Oh… Maybe that’s why they are all having issues with each other, they are so used to hiding their own emotions for the sake of the others that none of them know that they are hurting. I’ll have to talk to Namjoon about it.

“Hello y/n. It’s good to see that you took my words last night to heart.” Sejin’s voice scares me and I jump slightly. Turning I quickly smile and try to play off the embarrassing reaction.

“It’s nice to be able to relax. How are you today Sejin-nim?”

“Sejin, please. There’s no need to be so formal, after all we are going to be seeing a lot of each other.”

That’s true, after this tour Sejin are going to be sick of each other. Even without me helping with translating, he and I will be working out their schedules for each performance.

“I’m sorry. Anyways thank you for inviting. This is really interesting to see.”

“Ah, about that... There’s a reason why we wanted you here, follow me.”

He gestures for me to follow him through the huge building. It feels like a maze as we walk past old music video sets and old photography equipment. The noise slowly fades away until it’s just Sejin and I’s footsteps that echo through the air. My heart beats a little faster and he leads me into a large room and my heart drops.

“This is the main stage for Idol. We were thinking this would be best for the dance scene at the end.” Wow…

They really built all of this for one video. Namjoon wasn’t kidding when he said they really don’t use a lot of CGI. Smiling, I walk out onto the floor and spin in a slow circle taking everything in. Looking back at Sejin I want to ask if I can run through the choreo. But before I can even open my mouth he’s nodding his head yes and my hands fumble to get the song ready. Placing my phone down on the floor between us both, I take a spot and wait for the right section.

My body goes on autopilot as I move in beat with the music, my mind finally clear of the toxic conversation from earlier. Whenever I dance, I feel the most free and happy. There’s nothing that could ever replace this feeling, this safety.

Once I end the sequence Sejin claps in admiration and I playfully bow. The laugh that escapes his lips lightens my mood. Smiling, I move back to rejoin him as he leads me to another set.

“This album is going to be one for the books.” I nod in agreement, staying silent as I take everything in. There’s so many ideas coming to me that I feel overwhelmed all over again but in a good way.  His voice sounds confident and I can see why. The sets that they’ve built for these videos are insane. How are they able to build these so quickly with so much detail?

“I just wanted to give you a sneak peak. Even the members haven’t seen it yet.”

“I’m surprised that Jungkook hasn’t snuck in here yet.” Covering my mouth, I look at him with wide eyes. I definitely didn’t mean to say that out loud. Heat rushes to my cheeks and I’m getting ready to apologize as Sejin just laughs again.

“It’s been a challenge since they know we do all of our shooting here. But anyways, let’s head back. I’m sure that they will realize we’ve gone missing if we don’t hurry and will come looking for us.”

Following his lead we make our way back, no one seemed to notice our absence. Sejin motions for us to sit in two empty seats not too far from the set. My body feels heavy as I finally relax into the chair. Resting my temple against my palm, I watch as they pose all of the members. Every once in awhile I catch a glimpse of Jimin looking in my direction. He seems to be back to normal for now but the same can’t be said for later on.

After lunch I decided to leave early, Sejin arranged for Natalie to get a ride back with the members. After all of the commotion and drama earlier I really just wanted to come back home, the inner introvert in me wanting nothing more than to just crawl under my blanket and sleep for the rest of the day. But unfortunately that’s not an option because I know well enough that once Jimin gets back into this building he will be knocking on my front door.

The part that really bothers me about that is in order to fill Jimin in on everything I will have to tell him details that I’ve hidden from Namjoon for years, not for the fact that I didn’t trust him but because I didn’t want to make his already crazy life crazier. The only person that knows the entire truth is Natalie and that was a complete struggle to say the least. I was scared to let someone, anyone know the full truth. Now I have to tell someone that I’ve just now start to get close to know my most guarded secrets and pain.

Groaning, I fall onto the couch with a loud thud. My chest hurts as I wrap a blanket around me tightly seeking comfort. Today was supposed to be a fun filled, exciting day but no my father managed to ruin it from halfway around the world. Nothing could make this worse.

In the background the tv hums with a random drama as I hide further into the blanket, my eyes grow heavier with each passing second and for a short time, I really feel like I’ll be able to sleep some of the day away.

My ears pick up on the front door opening and I groan loudly as I burrow into the blanket fully. Maybe if I act like I’m asleep then whoever it is will either leave me alone or go away. Please let that be the case.

“You know that won’t work a second time. But I won’t fight you, not after today. I’m going upstairs to hangout with Jungkook again. Jimin said he was going to change then come down. I’ll leave the door unlocked.” Natalie doesn’t even stop moving as she speaks, the further away she is the louder she gets. Popping my head out, my hair falls into my face and I struggle to clear my line of sight. Within a matter of seconds Natalie reappears in the living room in a pair of my leggings and an oversized shirt. Smirking I prop myself up on an elbow, so she’s finally showing her true self to her idols.

“Dad’s a dick, ignore everything he says and have a little faith in Namjoon Oppa. The last thing he would ever want is to hurt you.” There’s a sullen look on her face as she looks down at her screen. Rolling her eyes slightly, a fake smile overcomes her features as Natalie waves goodbye. Nikole must be texting her, whenever our father acts like this those two go at each other like dogs. I’ll never understand why but I don’t intervene anymore either because the last time I did we all three ended not talking for weeks.

Sitting up straight on the couch I fold my knees and tuck them against my chest as I look at the coffee table, a fog filling my mind. Today really had to be the day my father decided that he wanted to talk and make it known how he was feeling. But the worst part is I should’ve known that it was going to be that way. He’s always been very forward and open about his dislike with my career choices and where I was going in life. Back home, if you aren’t married by 25 and starting a family then you are a disgrace, an outcast. My father would rather me be miserable, married to a man I loath, and having babies like a bunny because that’s what women in my town do.

I’ve always been the outcast and that pissed him off more than anything. I couldn’t fit the mold of every other woman around me, my sisters have broken out of the spell too. The best thing I ever did was meet Namjoon and accept the opportunity to move so far away and start a new life where there aren’t crazy expectations for me.

The vibration from my phone scares me out of the fog as I fumble to unlock the device. A text appears on the screen and I feel my stomach drop to the floor.

Unknown: ‘Looks like I’ll be seeing my girl sooner than I thought.’

Tossing my phone to the floor, I roll my eyes at the nickname. Who the fuck does he think he is….Just as I’m about to let out the loudest, frustrated groan ever the front door starts to open and I opt with a silent flail of my limbs. Of course Jimin would walk in right at this exact moment.

Turning my head just enough to take in his appearance, he’s wearing black sweats and a black shirt, very relaxed but still oozing with confidence. I can’t help but swallow roughly as he sits next to me. Quickly he runs a hand through his locks, how many times can one person do the same movement in one day?

I tighten the blanket around me in an attempt to feel a little more secure, but it doesn’t work. Right now every part of me feels like jelly and my stomach churns with the thought of telling him everything. But I’ve already committed to telling Jimin the truth, there’s no backing out of this.

Sucking in a deep breath, I turn my body towards him with my left side leaning against the back cushion. Jimin takes the open opportunity to mirror my actions as we’re left staring each other down. There’s no reminisce of the makeup from earlier on his skin, his natural honey skin glows under the soft light of my living room and his eyes seem tense, focused on whatever is about to come.

“I’m sorry about earlier…” My voice fails me as I start to speak, my hands fidget between the edge of the blanket and the ring on my pointer finger. I can’t keep eye contact anymore as I look downward at anything besides him. How am I going to be able to so this? It’s not like the story is completely simple.

“I had to have Namjoon hyung help me understand what your father meant. I don’t understand how a father could talk to their daughter like he did.”

“It’s a complicated story Jimin.”

“And I have plenty of time. The only work I have tomorrow is with you.” Even though I’m not looking at him I can tell that there's a small smirk on his lips. Sighing I lift my head up just to rest it against the soft cushion. Jimin mirrors me yet again, locking our eye contact with no real way to escape. I guess it’s now or never.

“My mother passed away when I was five. She was the embodiment of motherly love and sunshine. I was always attached to her hip, following her around the house any and every second I could. Whenever my sisters were taking their naps we would sneak and sit out on the front porch to rock on the swing. My favorite days were when it rained, it was so peaceful. I think those were the only days of my life where I had no worries.” A soft smile forms on my lips as I can almost smell the scent of rain and in my head I can hear the soft groan of the chains supporting the swing. Mom used to get upset whenever I would swing too fast, saying that the chain just might break from my roughhousing. But I would just give her a bright smile and the look on her face would disappear into a mirroring smile.

“But after she had Natalie, my mom started having health complications. To this day I still don’t know what happened but within a few months she passed away. My dad would act like everything was okay during the day but at night I could hear him crying downstairs in the living room ...” Sniffling as I feel a few tears start to form, I wipe them away before they could fall. My heart tightens when I look down at anything but the man before me, too many emotions running through my body.  

“For a while everything seemed to work, my dad acted like my dad. He took us to dance practice, recitals, soccer games. Even though our mother was gone, dad seemed to be handling everything. Sure there were times when it was harder than others but he was our dad, someone we could go to for anything. Until he met his current wife.” Looking through my lashes I see that Jimin is hanging onto every word, his fingers messing with the cuff of his shirt. I wonder what he’s going to say after everything is out in the open, every invisible scar reopened and laid out before him.

“She was nice at first… until she got her claws into my father. When I went into middle school is when they got married and it was like flipping a switch. My dad stopped doing everything that he was doing for us and solely focused on Karen. Anything she wanted, she got.” Furrowing my brows in annoyance I can’t help but scowl. That woman has been nothing but a nuisance since the day they said I do.

“But what really forced a wedge between us was when my father told me that I was going to have to give up dancing. That no daughter of his was going to waste their life doing something as childish as dancing. I called my grandmother that night and moved. Ever since then he’s treated me like how you heard today, the only reason it’s worse is because of my ex boyfriend.” Jimin remains quiet as I squirm on the couch, for some reason bringing up Robert makes my fight or flight instinct engage and all I want now is to run. Taking in a deep breath, I sighed heavily before restarting the story.

“Robert is someone that I dated from the time I was in high school until a year ago. At first he was the perfect boy to bring home to the family, respectful, sweet, and a gentleman. The older we got, the more our differences began to show. He stopped showing up to my dance competitions and started to hang around my father and his friends. For some reason those two are glued at the hip, even to this day.” I always found it strange how my father treated Robert like he was his own flesh and blood while he treated me like the garbage on the side of the street. Any time those two got together they’d spend hours going on and on about anything and everything. Some nights all they would do is bash my dancing, my intelligence, my passions, those were the nights where I would leave Robert without a warning and go dance for hours.

“The first time Namjoon mentioned working for BigHit, Robert got really angry. I mean really angry. He said that he wasn’t going to let me move halfway around the world to work with a bunch of boys. That no woman of his was going to leave him. He treated me like a piece of property. At first he had made it seem like I wasn’t good enough to accept, and being insecure and naive I believed him.” He always had a way of manipulating me into believing everything he said. I really was a fool back then. Looking directly at Jimin, my heart pounds in my chest. His eyes are wide and his mouth slightly hangs open...fuck...I just mentioned the first offer.

“You’ve known Namjoon hyung longer than you told us.” Nodding slowly, I can see that he wants to ask exactly how long. Might as well come clean about that too now.

“Since the first performance in L.A. We’ve been in constant contact since then. But I’m the one that wanted to keep that a secret from everyone. Please Jimin, don’t mention it in front of others.”

“It makes sense now. Those pictures and the way you two stand away from everyone else while you whisper in secret. You could’ve just told us. No one would think any less of you, you’re great at what you do.” Jimin’s compliment makes my stomach flutter and my heart skip a beat. Someone as talented as Jimin just complimented my dancing. If I weren’t in the middle of my backstory I might consider hugging him.

“Yeah...we agreed to leave out the past that way you all didn’t think I wiggled my way into the company.”

“None of us would’ve thought that. But continue your story please.” There’s a strain in his voice that concerns me. What could he possibly think of all of this?

“After I rejected the first offer, I started working more and working on honing my skills. I spent twice as many hours in the studio and less at home, barely seeing my friends and Robert. Turns out he didn’t like that too much…” Fuck, this is harder than I thought. How would’ve known that retelling every detail would be this hard. Jimin pants my knee lightly with an understanding look on his face.

“We got into a huge fight, nothing physical more emotional and mental. I was so angry and hurt that I wasn’t watching where I was going and I ended up tripping down the front steps. My ankle broke, which meant I couldn’t dance for a while. During that time I talked with Namjoon less than I had liked because I was focused on doing what was best for me. I ended up ending things with Robert. Ever since then he’s done everything he can to try and squirm his way back into my life.”

Which is why it doesn’t surprise me that my father is bringing him along to the concert. He’d do anything to push the two of us back together. But there’s nothing on this planet that would make that happen.

Jimin and I sit in silence a little longer than I would like, his hand still resting against the blanket covered knee. Every once in awhile his thumb moves against the fabric in a comforting way.

“I really hope that Namjoon hyung has a plan when it comes to them coming backstage. Because in all honesty I don’t plan on being too welcoming.” The words are heavy and filled with a calm rage. It’s a side of Jimin I’ve never seen before, a side that I never want to be on.

“Namjoon doesn’t do something without thinking everything through, plus we have plenty of time before then.” Thank god...if it were any earlier I’d lose my mind and sanity all at once.

“I’m glad that you accepted BigHit’s offer. Even though we had our differences, I feel like you were meant to be here with us. In the short amount of time that you’ve been here, you’ve managed to build a connection with all of us. Not a lot of our staff have been able to do that.” That doesn’t come as a shock to me, after all the boys are practically brothers at this point. Letting an insider join their group refiners a lot of trust on both sides. The fact that they enjoy my company that much makes my body feel warm with joy.

“I’m glad I did too. Honestly, it still feels like a dream to me. To be working with people that I looked up to for so long.” Stopping my train of thought I can feel my cheeks start to heat up from the confession. A soft giggle escapes from his lips as he rests further back into the couch followed by an almost inaudible sigh. His hand retracts from my knee and I follow suit, leaning against the couch fully and looking up to the white ceiling.

“Your phone is buzzing.” Jimin sounds groggy as he moves to pick up my phone from the ground. Turning my head to the side I take in his side profile, my stomach does a flip. Every day I’m around him my kindling of a crush comes back. I shouldn’t be having these feelings but yet here I am.

Jimin turns to me with a confused look, I can’t help but to mirror his as I take the phone. The unknown number from earlier is calling. No, I’m not doing this. I’m not dealing with him.

Reaching for my phone, I ignore the call and turn off my phone completely. Tossing the device across the couch I return to my earlier relaxed position with a huff. Well I should’ve known that was going to happen.

“I can’t believe I let someone like him manipulate me. If I could see my younger self I’d smack her upside the head.” I can’t hold back the small snort that bubbles in my throat. In all truth I never knew that I was that naive when I was younger. Looking back now, knowing what I know, I should’ve seen the signs when he and I first started dating. Every single thing that I did that made me seem ‘not normal’ or ‘different’ he hated and persuaded me to change. There were only a few things that he couldn’t take from me: my sisters, dancing, and music. For a short while I had to hide talking to Namjoon for a while, one night he got really angry after reading through my texts and not being able to understand them. That’s when I started to ignore the demands that came from him.

“Looks like you’ve learned to stand your ground.” Humming a response I close my eyes and sink further into the couch. His hand rests against mine, our pinkies touching slightly. A chill runs through my spine as my heart pounds against my chest. The room around us gets quieter and my mind starts to fuzz up, the exhaustion from the day catching up to me quickly. It must’ve already caught up with Jimin because I can hear his breathing has leveled out and calmed. I know that I should wake him up and tell him to head upstairs, but at the same time I know that he needs the rest more than anything. A quick power nap couldn’t hurt either of us…. Right….