95liners3rdmember - Tumblr blog

95liners3rdmember · 5 years ago

Text

Worth It

Chapter Sixteen: Heart to Heart

Word Count: 4146

Chapter Fifteen: After Party

After an entire day spent laying around the house, I finally feel a little better. My stomach still isn’t at 100 percent yet but at least I can deal with it. What I’m having a harder time with is trying to figure out a way to act normal around Jimin. After the incident in the van I don’t know how to go about talking to him. If I’m being honest with myself I don’t regret what happened and I wouldn’t change anything either. But I have a feeling that Jimin might have a few. Afterall we both did have a lot to drink, me even more than him.

Pulling open the front door to BigHit, I’m welcomed by Mina who I just give a short wave as I continue down the hallway in the direction of my office. The only way I could keep myself from going crazy with overthinking was by coming into work. Part of me hoped that I wouldn’t run into the guys because we weren’t scheduled to practice today. They mainly had studio time along with getting fitted for new tour outfits. So surely our paths won’t cross. But if we do have practice then I’m screwed because I wore skinny jeans and a sweater today. And I haven’t brought more backup clothes.

Tossing my bag into the empty chair I move over to my desk and plop down into my cushioned chair. My desktop comes to life and there’s an insane amount of email alerts pinging through the speakers. At least everyone wants to communicate around here. To my right I hear my phone vibrate against the surface of my desk. My heart races for a split second but I glance quickly at the screen, it’s Namjoon. Instantly my heart calms as I reach for it.

Namjoon: ‘There’s a meeting in the dance studio in ten minutes.’

Well so much for not having our paths cross. And even more so I’m screwed because there’s no way I can dance in these pants. I can’t even figure out how the guys do it. At least I have ten minutes to go through the endless emails to distract myself. But as always there’s only a few that actually are meant for me. My fingers slam against the keyboard as I put the computer into sleep mode. Might as well just go ahead and head down there. Tucking my phone into my back pocket, I grab my coffee and leave my office. The hallways are dead silent which has me standing on my tip toes. This place is never quiet for long, especially when there's Taehyung and Jungkook that work here. Those two sure knew how to keep things interesting for sure.

Opening the door, there’s no one else in the room. Of course I’m the first one in here. Looking around the room I notice that there’s a lot of things out of place. The rolling chairs are scattered across the room instead of tucked in at the table and there’s water bottles sitting against the walls. Honestly I can’t remember who used this room last but they could’ve at least cleaned up after themselves. Setting my coffee down I start moving the chairs back to where they belong, which takes no time but as I start picking up the bottles I hear the door open. The seven members are too interested in the conversation that they don’t pay me much attention as I continue to clean up. My coffee cup is the only thing that gives away my presence.

“Good morning y/n!” Hobi’s voice fills the room and I smile at him. With an arm full of empty bottles I dump them into the recycle bin on my way over to them. My hands tuck themselves into my backpack as I join the group. Jin rests an elbow on my shoulder which causes me to tilt towards him. There’s days when I hate being as short as I am, even Yoongi and Jimin seem to tower over me.

“Do you guys know who used this room last? It was a mess when I got here.” Looking around the group everyone seems to shrug their shoulders, not knowing the answer. My eyes meet Jimin’s and a blush starts to heat across my face. Maybe they will think it’s from cleaning everything up. Of course Jimin would know better than that though, but there’s something about his expression that confuses me. He almost looks jealous that Jin is the one resting against me. His eyes are narrowed at the point of contact and his lips are pulled tight. It doesn’t last long because as soon as the door reopens, he returns to normal bubbly Jimin.

“Everyone take a seat please.” Manager Sejin comes in with another man that I’ve never met before. None of us question the statement as we move over to the large screen. Somehow in the shuffle of people, Jimin manages to get next to me. He tosses his phone on the table with a loud thud before sitting down. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I sit down a lot quieter next to him. He feels so close to me that I want to explode. Sunday night starts flashing through my mind, the way his hands felt against my skin and the way it felt being so close to him. Now I’m hyper aware of everything Jimin. Fuck me, this is going to be a long meeting,

“We are here this morning because we’ve finally finished the layout of the upcoming stage layout. Also, there has been minor changes to the stage design of the music videos.” Those words bring me out of my Jimin spiral, they changed the music video layouts? Why am I just now hearing about this? Leaning up further in my seat I rest my elbows on the table, my fingers start fiddling with my rings as I start feeling anxious.

“When were the changes for the music video made?” I try to hide the irritation in my voice but I feel like I failed as the man looks over at me sharply. His eyes look over me, like he’s sizing me up. Narrowing my eyes slightly, a folder is slid over to me which I barely manage to catch. Taking my eyes off of him, I open the folder to see detailed prints of the changes and stages.

“Last week.” That hits a nerve as I continue to look through, they’ve increased the stage for the break dance at the end of Idol and they’ve also finalized the location of filming for Mic Drop. I’ll need to teach a few more backup dancers to fill the space and try to distance the members out just a tad more. Which typically would be annoying but it’s really only a day and a half worth of work, but what really bothers me is that this decision was made last week without me knowing. The last time I checked I was head of the dance department. Continuing to flip through the papers I get to the last page which is the schedule and I feel my blood pressure rise.

“Filming starts next week?” That seems to catch the attention of the members. By the look on their faces they weren’t aware at how soon filming was going to start. My legs start tapping under the table as I continue to have a staring contest with the man. I’m so upset that I don’t even notice Jimin moving in the chair next to me. He’s positioned himself in a way where he could hide a hand under the table, and that hand rests against my knee causing me to freeze. He gives me a comforting squeeze before he just lets his hand rest there.

“Yes, we wanted to get everything finished before the holidays begin, which is sooner than we expected. The schedule was finalized last week as well but if your abilities are as good as I hear then you shouldn’t have any problem getting everything and everyone ready.” I have to keep my jaw from dropping onto the table. This is the first person in the company to question my position openly. Which I shouldn’t be surprised at because at least twice a week I question myself. But this feels completely different.

“It won’t be any problem, I was just under the impression that since I’m the head of the dance department I would’ve been notified of the changes earlier.” I won’t let him question me in front of the members who are now more family than anything. Because by the look on Namjoon’s face he isn’t too happy with the way this conversation is going. Jimin’s hand tightens against my knee as he single handedly flips through the folder. If anyone understands my annoyance right now it’s him and Hobi.

“Then I will leave it to you then. I just wanted everyone to be aware of the changes.” Yeah almost a week later….

With that final statement the man rises from his seat and leaves us, Sejin exits right behind him with his phone in hand. No doubt I’ll get a complaint against me after this meeting. Letting out a sigh of frustration I kick my feet out which makes my chair scoot back, Jimin moves his hand just in time so it won’t be noticed by the others. My palm of my hands dig into my eyes as I lean my head up towards the ceiling. There’s no point in hiding my frustration from them, because they all have a habit of getting the truth out of me in the end. My feet kick against the floor making my chair spin in slow circles, no doubt the others are watching my melt down.

“How many more backup dancers are we going to need now?” Hobi’s voice breaks me from my melt down, stopping the chair. I remove my hands so I can see him clearly. They all seem too into thought to even be bothered with me having a moment.

“At least 15, which is fine because we weren’t using everyone in the first place. I’ll have to take a day or so and get everyone together to run through it.” It’s not that the choreo is difficult, it’s the fact that I have to get so many people moving in sync in such a short amount of time.

“The only thing making this difficult is that we aren’t scheduled practice time today, we’re still supposed to be in the studio.” Namjoon’s voice sounds strained as he takes his turn flipping through the papers. They all have so much on their plate already that this change isn’t entirely fair to them. And with every fiber in my being I’ll make sure that they get the holidays off so they can try to see their families. Now isn’t the time to sit here and have a cry session, I need to get to work that way they don’t have as much to stress about. Standing from my chair, I roll it back before picking up my phone. My fingers start typing away emailing my assistant to get all of the company backup dancers together this afternoon in the practice room. Once I’m done I shove it back into my back pocket and bend over the table to get the folder from Hobi. I have to ignore the burning sensation I get from Jimin’s eyes on me. After we get everything fixed and filmed we can figure out whatever happened between us, right now there’s too much to get done.

“You guys get back to the studio, I’ll take care of everything. Our next practice day is Thursday.” Not even letting them get a word in, I start speed walking towards the door. If I want to be able to do my best, I can’t just sit around and discuss what should be done. I have to take action even if it means being exhausted later on tonight.

To say I’m exhausted is an understatement. I’m sore in muscles that I forgot I even had and my stomach hurts from the lack of food. There wasn’t time for a lunch break if I wanted to make sure that everything was going to run smooth next week. After what felt like a thousand run throughs, the backup dancers seemed to get in sync pretty well. Now I need to sit down and get the spacing figured out for the members, which thankfully is something I can do at home. I don’t think my legs could handle dancing anymore in these jeans, tomorrow is going to be rough for sure.

Unlocking my front door, I drop my bag beside my discarded shoes in the entryway. My feet slide against the floor as I make my way into the kitchen. As I turn the corner I notice the lights on and I stop in my tracks. My heart races as I look into my kitchen.

“Jimin what are you doing here?” The only reaction I can come up with to freeze. Here I was thinking I escaped the awkward talk for the day, but no. Jimin is sitting at my kitchen island. I was too shocked to even notice the takeout bags in front of him.

“I brought you dinner. When we left the company and your car was still there I figured you were pulling a late night.” If things were clearer between us right now I would run over and hug him, but I’m even more confused. My chest aches at the gesture and I the feeling of crying gnaws at me but I can’t give into it. Without saying anything, I grab two drinks from the fridge before sitting beside him at the island. My body slumps on the stool and I can’t help but fall into his side. The frustration of the day finally getting the better of me, for the first time today I can take a deep breath.

“Thank you.” I sound weak, maybe because I am. The last little bit of strength I thought I had is fading quickly. He doesn’t say another word as he starts to unpack the bag filled with food. My stomach growls loudly as an open container is placed in front of me, normally I would be embarrassed but tonight I really don’t care. Even though my stomach is screaming at me to eat, I wait for Jimin to get his own food out. Watching him I can’t help but shake the feeling that something is wrong. There’s no spark in his eyes or smile tugging at his lips.

As we eat, neither of us speak. The atmosphere around us feels heavy, so many unspoken words left unsaid. My free hand taps against the counter as Jimin’s leg taps in sync. This is killing me, just a few days ago we were so comfortable with each other. One stupid moment and the friendship we’ve worked so hard on comes tumbling down. I want to scream or cry or even more so kiss him. But those aren’t routes I can’t afford to take. Right now I need to say something, anything to break the silence.

“You didn’t have to wait on me to eat dinner.” It’s the first thing that comes to mind, instantly I want to kick myself. Of course he knew he didn’t have to wait on me, there’s another reason for him doing this.

“I know. But I also knew that if someone didn’t bring you food you wouldn’t eat.” He’s right. I probably would’ve grabbed a protein shake and went to bed.

“You’re right. But you waited so much longer to eat than you should’ve.” Guilt tugs at my stomach as I finish the last of my kimchi. My stomach is content as I turn in my chair to face him. Blonde hair blocks his face from me as he bends down, reaching over I tuck a few strands behind his ear so I can at least see him. My fingers tingle from the contact and I slowly retract my hand.

“I went to the gym while I waited for you. It’s not a big deal y/n.” It’s after those words a small smile tugs at his lips. Finally a little hint of emotion from Jimin. He’s so hard to read right now that it’s giving me a headache. Or maybe that’s from working over twelve hours.

As soon as he’s finished eating, I grab both of our containers and take them to the trash. Standing across the island from Jimin I can finally see all of him. I didn’t realize a few minutes ago that his hair is damp and his cheeks are slightly flushed, either from the shower or the workout. Resting my elbows on the counter I lean forward so I can get slightly closer, his eyes don’t break contact with mine.

“Do you want to talk about it?” The words escape my lips and instantly I want to take them back. It’s inevitable that we have this conversation but I can’t help the twisting and turning that my stomach is doing. I can feel my pulse quicken slightly the longer he doesn’t respond. If this wasn’t my home I’d walk out of the door and pretend that nothing was said.

“Only if you want to.” What? Of course I want to talk about this, we need to talk about this. I can’t take the tension anymore. I want my friend back, I want my Jimin back. But there’s a chance that all of that is completely ruined now.

“We need to. You and I both know that we can’t pretend that nothing happened.” Why do I feel like this isn’t a conversation I can have sober? As I let the words sink in, I turn around to get out a bottle of wine from the cabinet. Might as well get two glasses. The silence is deafening as I pour both of us a decent amount. Reaching out I offer the glass which he gladly accepts. Returning to my resting stance, I take a long sip. Once again our eyes are locked on each other.

“Do you regret anything that happened y/n?” Do I regret anything? Truth be told I regret passing out as soon as I sat on the bed. But no, I don’t regret anything that happened in the van.

“No, I don’t regret anything. Do you?” Now it’s my turn to be nervous, what if he said yes? I’d look like a complete moron. Nothing would be the same if that was his honest answer. It feels like a lifetime waiting for his answer. I can almost see the wheels turning as he tries to figure out exactly what he wants to say. The only thing I can do while I wait is drink, and it’s not long before the glass is empty.

“I don’t regret anything.” Why did I think that answer would make my pulse lower? If anything now my heart is about to beat out of my chest. There’s no hint of lying in his eyes and there’s a look of relief on his face. Bringing my glass up to my face, I down the remaining liquid to try and calm myself.

“But I guess what we need to decide is where to go from here?” Huh? Coughing, I feel the wine burn in my throat more than usual as it ends up going down the wrong way. Jimin’s eyes widen in worry but I throw up a hand, waving it to let him know I’m fine. As the coughing subsides, I take a deep breath to ease the burn. But it’s what Jimin said that I’m more focused on. Where do we go from here? Is there anywhere to go from here?

“Where do you want it to go?” I can’t but bite my lip lightly while I wait for his answer, I can’t remember the last time I was this nervous and that’s saying a lot. Even when I was packing my life into boxes I wasn’t this worried.

“Dating an idol isn’t easy, especially if the media finds out. There’s always the risk of being found on social media, some fans can be dangerous.” The way his tone shifts scares me and even more so the way he air quoted ‘fans’ made my stomach drop. I’ve seen what can happen when idols decide to date, it gets ugly. Nothing is private anymore, every detail of your life is exposed and used against you. And given my rough dating past, the last thing I want is for my secrets to be exposed. Also given BTS’s growing popularity and demand, a dating scandal would hurt them more than anything. Yes there would be some Army that would support the relationship, but there’s also some that would hate the idea and not support that member anymore. Which is completely idiotic but that’s how the idol life goes.

“I’ve lived as an idol long enough to also know that you need to take a chance every once and awhile. And I’ve made up my mind but I’ll also respect and understand whatever you decide on. Because there’s more at stake for you than me.” How could there be more at stake for me? His career could literally take a huge hit if he were caught being with me. And this decision doesn’t just affect him, there’s six other people this could hurt.

Now this is the part where I need to decide if I want to be selfish and tell him that I want to try being with him or potentially hurt the both of us and reject him. I would be lying to myself if I say I don’t want to date Jimin, and no it’s not because he’s Park Jimin of BTS. No it’s because he’s Jimin. He’s my shoulder to cry on when days are tough, he’s the person I can talk to without worry of judgement, and he’s the person I’m most excited to share my accomplishments with. In a short time he’s reminded me what it’s like to trust someone with my secrets and to let down my guard. And I also know that I’m his person too, the other night after the concert proved that. The fact that he trusted me to hold him as he cried is proof enough.

“Jimin, if I want to try to make this work what would you say?” My lips are fighting the smile tugging at the corners. But there’s still a few things that need to be said and figured out.

“I’d say I was hoping for that answer.” His voice seems happier and I can see the smile starting to form. My heart skips a beat as Jimin’s eyes start to disappear creating his signature smile.

“But what if I said I wanted to keep this between the two of us for now?” That causes the smile to lessen but not to completely disappear. Part of me thinks he knew this was coming. It would make sense for one of the main dancers to be around the choreographer a lot and the members are already used to us being glued at the hip. I’m really surprised that Namjoon hadn’t said anything yet. But then again he can be oblivious.

“It won’t be easy and I don’t like keeping anything from my brothers, but if that’s what will make you feel more comfortable then I will. Although I won’t want to keep it a secret for too long, it will make things worse.” That’s the truth. If we were to keep something from them for too long a huge fight would be inevitable. Nodding in agreement, I pour myself another glass with a smile. This isn’t how I imagined our conversation going but I’m glad it ended on a happy note.

“Now that that’s all settled, I could use some help.” I say before taking a long swig from the glass. Running over to the door, I fetch out my folder from to take back. When I came back Jimin’s standing where I just was pouring himself more wine. His eyes look at the folder and the chuckle he does makes me want to laugh as well. But right now I’m struggling with work and the opinion of another dancer would really help.

“Between the two of us we can figure it out.” He winks at me and I feel like I’m on cloud nine. Right now I’ll try not to worry about anything or overthink everything. For now I just need to enjoy how I’m feeling and focus on work, after all I can’t let this distract me from my one reason for being here in the first place.

#worth it #park jimin #BTS jimin #jimin #park jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #bts #bts smut #bts story

5 notes · View notes

95liners3rdmember · 5 years ago

Text

Worth It

Chapter Fifteen: After Party

Word Count: 5955

Chapter Fourteen: Post Concert

“Thank you Army for coming and we can’t wait to see you again!” Namjoon's voice is barely audible in the buzzing arena as the members say their final goodbyes to Army. The past few days have been draining and I can tell that they have reached their point, tonight they will sleep like the dead. All of BigHit were given Monday as a rest day considering most of us have been at the arena working. From the screen I watch them all bounce over to the lift and begin waving as they’re lowered under the stage.

Jungkook tries his hardest to hold on to continue saying goodbye but Tae manages to pull him by the shirt downward. Giggling to myself I squeeze through the other workers and make my way over to the backup dancers. Sweaty hugs are exchanged and before I know it I’m being ushered into the members waiting room. With big smiles on their faces they take the post concert photo.

Jimin is the first to break away from the group on the couch and he moves straight for me. I playfully dodge his hug and run to the safety of an empty chair. That doesn’t stop him from plopping himself directly in my lap. Across the room I can hear Jin and Namjoon telling us to cut it out since there are too many people here.

“Noona are you coming to the party tonight?” Jungkook asks as he sits on top of Jimin, completely squishing me in the chair. I can’t help the pained groan that leaves my lips. But my brain doesn’t register it fully as I zone in on the party question.

“What party?” Both Jimin and Jungkook look at me with a dazed look. I roll my eyes at both of them and start to push them from my lap, my thighs feeling more and more pancake-like with each passing second.

“Since it’s the end of our first tour, the company decided to go out with a bang. Part of the staff left early to get the venue set up. It’s really a way to relax and unwind after the past year.” Hobi pipes in as he helps me kick the two off of me. I’m still confused. It’s super late and they just had a crazy weekend. Are they really about to have a party right now?

“If you keep your face like that too long it will stay like that.” Tae chuckles as he wraps an arm around the other two maknae. Glancing over to Namjoon he nods his head slowly, knowing that I’m silently asking if this is really happening.

“I guess I didn’t get the memo. But if I wasn’t informed then I shouldn’t be going.” There are only a handful of people that I know from the company and most of them are right in front of me. My smile starts to fall as I weigh my options. I can go and seem like a stranger or I can stay home and be bored. But I know if I try to stay home one of the members will stop me. Or they will threaten to stay with me and I can see it in their eyes that they all are excited for tonight.

“We’re the ones inviting you, plus it was emailed out last night so you probably didn’t see it.” Yoongi says as he exits the room to go change back into his street clothes.

“I need to go home and change though, even though I didn’t do much compared to you guys.”

One of their bodyguards interrupts our banter as he lets them know the cars will be leaving in 15. Looks like they are going back to the dorms to shower and change too. So there’s enough time for me to throw something together.

“You’re going y/n! And I’m dressing you since the last time you dressed up was when Natalie was here.” Tae’s boxy smile has me in a trance as I nod my head, agreeing to whatever he says.

“So I get dips on one of the showers first.” His smile changes into a smirk as he runs down the hall, Jungkook on his tail.

Wait. Did he just insult my fashion? Good lord, he’s not wrong though.

“Earth to y/n, it’s time to go.” Jimin calls from the doorway, he’s holding both of my bags and his own. Jumping up from my chair I rush over to get my things from him. Which is a struggle because he keeps snatching them away. The game of cat and mouse goes on until we reach the cars, Namjoon pulls me into the blacked out van squishing me between him and Jimin. Maybe the party was the reason they insisted I ride with them today instead of driving. Although I’m not complaining because last night was truly a nightmare getting home.

Pulling my phone from the bag, I see that my sister has called me a few times. I’ll call her back while I’m getting ready, she must be pulling another all nighter again. Opening my email my inbox floods with dozens and dozens of emails. Scrolling through I see the email marked party and my heart eases a little. Looks like I’m the one at fault. Honestly I was nervous that I just wasn’t invited since I just started.

A text pops up on my screen and I see Natalie’s name, sighing I click on it and my stomach drops.

Natalie: ‘Why did Tae text me asking what kind of clothes you have? Also why did I get a weird message from JK on Friday night?’

I can feel two pairs of eyes on me, my cheeks heating up as my fingers go a mile a minute to reply. Hopefully I can move quick enough so they won’t see.

Me: ‘I’ll call you once I get back to the apartment. I have no clue about a weird text. I’ve been busy working.’

Natalie: ‘ Mhmm, sure. I’ll be waiting.’

The rest of the ride is quiet as we all scroll through our phones ignoring the outside world. It’s peaceful in the confines of the van but it’s enjoyable for even just a moment.

Pulling up to the building, Jimin grabs both of our bags with me protesting right behind him. As we get through the first set of doors I manage to snatch away my bag with my tongue poking out playfully. From behind us I can hear Namjoon’s muffled laugh. The ride up the elevator is quick and before long I’m standing in my bathroom trying to rush.

Selecting Natalie’s contact I jump under the scalding water waiting for my dear little sister to answer. It rings twice before she excitedly answers.

“About time you called me! So what’s happening that you need a special outfit?”

“It’s a company after party, nothing too crazy. What are you going to tell him to put me in?”

Scrubbing my hair roughly, I try to rinse while still listening to Natalie.

“That’s a surprise for you. But more importantly why did JK text me Friday night saying Jimin didn’t come back from your apartment hours after the others. Honestly I’m hurt that you didn’t tell me first.”

Leave it to my sister to blow a little thing out of context. It’s been her personal mission since the couch incident to try and force something to happen. Rolling my eyes I shut off the water and take a deep breath.

“Nothing happened, Jimin was being too hard on himself again and needed to let it out.” Trying to get ready is going to be a tough task because I can already tell that she's about to drill me for every answer she wants.

“What does that mean?” Natalie is no doubt wiggling her little brows on the other end of the phone. Peachy girl.

“It’s not what you think but I also promised I wouldn’t tell anyone else. You of all people should know about something like that. Anyways, I need to finish getting ready before Tae walks in.”

“Yeah, yeah excuses. But have fun tonight and please video chat with me soon, I’m going crazy without you.”

“I will. Be good and I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye!”

With that the call clicks off and I’m left in silence. Lately whenever I have free time I find myself missing my sister more and more. It was nice that she visited me a few months ago, that definitely helped but she is my rock. And whenever the craziness calms around me I can feel her absence. This Christmas is going to be hard for sure, I won’t have any of my family and I can’t participate in my family traditions.

Going out to my room, I throw on a t-shirt and shorts while I wait for Tae to come upstairs. I’m not going to go all out on my hair and makeup since we don’t have a lot of time to get ready. I’ll just let my hair go all natural, eventually it will curl decently since I haven’t been able to add to the heat damage since my schedule has been so packed. Knowing Natalie, she’s already planned out everything with Tae and he just needs to make sure it all comes together. I swear those two could dress people up for hours. Namjoon told me that Tae takes up way more closet space than any normal person, but then again Jungkook has almost an entire room filled with clothes.

“Y/n, I’m here!” Tae’s cheerful voice fills the empty apartment and a smile works its way to my face as I bend over slightly against the counter focusing on my eyeliner. I’ve never been that great at dressing up but I know a few things about making myself presentable.

“In the bedroom!” Inspecting my handy work, I’m pleased that the two wings look almost identical. Swiping on a few layers of mascara, I turn on my toes to see what Tae and Natalie have decided on. I can’t help but gulp at the boldness, I’m also somehow excited to wear something a little bit more my pace.

“You actually have a ton of options, but I guess it’s easier to work in sweats and tanks.” The teasing tone in his voice is heavy as he admires the handy work. Laying on the bed is an all black outfit, definitely something up Jungkook’s alley. A black leather moto jacket, black crop top, black high waisted ripped jeans, all finished off with a pair of heeled boots. Is it safe to expose so much skin at a company party? I know that there will be a few judgemental eyes on me for sure. Pulling my lip between my teeth I can’t help but try to think of a backup outfit.

“I can hear the gears turning from here, don’t worry about the outfit. Trust me, you won’t be the only one dressed a little different. They stylist noona’s definitely won’t be in tshirts and jeans.” I meet his gaze and can’t help but smile. He seems so sure that you can’t help but trust him. I actually take a good look at his outfit and it’s very relaxed as well, black jeans, a button up shirt with the top few buttons undone, semi formal dress shoes and his hair is fluffed from a quick blow dry.

“Okay, I’ll be out in a few minutes.” Sucking in a breath I watch as his smile radiates even brighter than normal and he rushes out of the room. Shuffling through my underwear drawer I find the set that would go best with this all black attire. Carefully pulling off my comfy clothes, getting dressed doesn’t take long. Looking at myself in the mirror, I can’t help but want to go out and party. But part of me wants to hide in the jacket all night as well. Compared to all of my other coworkers I’m on the “thicker” side. Simply because of where I’m from, we’re built a little differently. It’s not a bad thing at all every person on this planet is different, I just struggle with the whole body confidence. Something Natalie has no issue with, she will rock any outfit you put her in just because of the confidence she oozes.

There’s no time for all of these self doubting thoughts, we need to leave in less than five minutes. Time to suck it up and go for it. Clasping the necklace Jimin gave me and throwing in all of my earrings, I shoving my phone and cards into the clutch Tae laid out as well. My shoes click against the flooring as I meet Tae out in the living room, his eyes widen before a smirk sets in on his face. He looks down at his phone to text someone quickly before returning his gaze back to me.

“Let’s party.” There’s a tone in his voice that I can’t quite put my finger on and it causes a shiver to run down my spine. Seems like tonight is going to get even more interesting.

The ride over here was short but action packed. Jungkook met us downstairs since everyone else left without him. His cheeks had a dust of pink across them when he saw the outfit, for both of our sake we ignored the awkwardness. Jungkook came dressed pretty casual, light washed ripped jeans, white tshirt, flannel over top and finished off with brown timbs. Very Jungkook.

Music blasted in the car all the way from the dorm to the company, outside there were tons of cars. More than normal honestly but that’s because every employee was allowed to bring a few family members. Knowing my luck tonight I’ll be sitting in the corner because there’s too many people for the guys to speak to for them to spend most of the night with me. Oh, maybe Mina will be here. I haven’t gotten to see her in a few weeks with everything being so action packed.

Walking in the main entrance, the noise didn’t lessen any. Jungkook and Tae took off but not without dragging me behind them. You wouldn’t be able to tell that those two just got down with a triple header concert. The last time I saw them so hyper was after a weekend off. Stumbling to keep up, they lead me into a huge room that I haven’t been to yet. It reminds me of the school gym in highschool, minus the bleachers. Tables are set up along the walls with food and even more with drinks and alcohol. Seems like everyone is here to have a good time to celebrate a successful tour. Jungkook releases my wrist as we enter the room, it’s not long before both disappear from my sight. Looking around I don’t see any of the guys, but I spot the stylist and Tae was right. Most of them were dressed like they were going out to party and their hair looked amazing compared to my curly mess. One of the noonas waved me down and I began to make my way through the crowd to them. Along the way I get stopped by a few of the backup dancers, I thank them for the hard work and let them know I can’t wait to work with them again.

“We were worried you wouldn’t be here y/n! Namjoon even came over asking if we had seen you.” How far behind were we compared to everyone else? It couldn’t have been by much unless Namjoon hurried to get here. Which wouldn’t surprise me if he ducked into his studio before the party.

“I guess I took longer getting ready than I thought. It’s been a while since I’ve been out of my dance clothes.” Giggling I notice that they take in my outfit, I can’t help but want to suck in the small stomach that I have and try to stand straighter. After all these amazing women get BTS dressed to impress with everything they do. They know a thing or two about fashion.

“It’s nice to see you in something different though, who would’ve thought you had this frame underneath those baggy shirts. I have a question though.” My cheeks heat up at the compliment and I feel myself grow a little more confident.

“Thank you. What’s the question?” I fiddle with the rings on my fingers as I watch her look at the length of my hair.

“Have you ever thought about changing your hair?”

“Not really, I don’t have much time to do anything with it. Normally it’s just pulled up into a bun or ponytail.” I wonder what could be going through her mind right now. It could be she’s gotten this boldness from the drink in her cup. Normally she’s tiptoes around asking me questions.

“Good evening Noonas! Thank you for finding y/n for me.” A familiar arm wraps around my shoulders and I can’t help but relax. Best friend Namjoon to the rescue. A wave of relief washes over me as he takes over the conversation.

“I hate to steal her away but there’s six other people looking for her. We will see you Tuesday!” Namjoon turned us away and I didn’t even realize I had been holding my breath until my lungs emptied loudly.

“My hero. She was about to ask me to do something to my hair. Don’t get me wrong it’s sweet but the last thing I want is for it to fall out from bleaching and coloring.” Namjoon’s laugh is almost inaudible over the music that just got louder in the room. He knows all too well what I mean.

He ushers me into the group of members who are laughing and dancing away, but I can’t help but stop and take them all in. There’s no worries on their face and they’re acting like normal 20 year olds. Each are dressed in their own style and it works for each of them. Jimin’s eyes lock with mine as he reaches for my wrist pulling me into the center of the group. My body moves on its own to the beat with them. There’s no real moves going on, we are all dancing like school kids at a dance. If you didn’t know who we were you wouldn’t know that we all dance for a living, some of us more than others.

The backup dancers make their way over to our circle where things start to get crazy, Jungkook and another dancer start to try and b-boy. My stomach hurts from laughing so much. I can see that their cheeks are starting to turn pink from the drinks and heat. Someone bumps against my shoulder and I meet Jimin’s intimidating eyes. Not that they normally intimidate me, there’s just something about the way he’s looking at me that makes me feel smaller than I really am. Especially since he’s only an inch or so taller than me right now. His head nods in the direction of the drinks and I wiggle my way out with him. Almost all of the staff that want to dance make up the mass circle going on.

I hand wraps tighter around the clutch I’ve been carrying, I can’t believe I forgot that I brought it. No wonder my hands have been cramping up while dancing. Jimin must notice me switching as he takes the black clutch from me and searches for someone. He finds one of the drivers who’s sitting in the corner with security. With a short run he gives them my things before making his way back.

“You’ll just ride back with me, they are going to hold onto your things until then.” There’s an authoritative tone to his voice that I don’t even want to question. He hands me a large cup and grabs one for himself. We stand against the table and watch as the group cheers and continues to dance like they have no worries in the world. Leaning my hip out I bump against him softly which earns me a bump in return. I know that Jimin’s felt a little off since the other night and I was hoping that tonight would help him relax a little. But it would seem I was wrong.

“You don’t seem like you’re having fun Jimin.” I don’t take my eyes off of the energetic group, I can hear Jin singing along with the music. Even if I have to force Jimin back into that circle, he’s going to have fun tonight.

“I’m having fun, it just got a little too claustrophobic for me. And you looked like you were struggling holding your purse.” Ah, ever the gentleman. But there’s something else he’s not telling me. Downing my drink, I turn around to refill it ignoring the burning in my chest. If I’m seriously thinking about getting into his head, I’m going to need more liquid courage. The second drink goes down easier, which Jimin keeps up with and we both refill our drinks. Neither of us look at the other but I know that my cheeks are stained pink and working their way to a deep shade of red.

“Jimin, I have a question.” My voice is louder than I meant but I guess it’s a good thing considering the volume of the music. Looking out of the corner of my eye I can see he’s waiting for me to ask. Sucking in a deep breath, I turn halfway towards him.

“Why did you hate me in the beginning?” The bluntness of the question causes him to turn his full attention to me. He’s thinking hard as he takes a long drink. I can’t help but drink as well, my nerves getting the best of me. I shouldn’t have asked such a dumb question, now everything is going to be messed up between the two of us.

“I wouldn’t say I hated you, I hated how things were changing. At first I thought the company didn’t think through their choice, but after seeing you dance and how hard you worked I realized I was wrong. Which didn’t sit well because no one likes being wrong. So I took out my frustration on you. I was rude and cold to you, but after watching you work alone in that studio I knew I had to make things right.” I can tell that he’s not holding anything back from me now, he’s letting me in completely. He takes both of our empty cups to refill them.

“I thought the same thing at first, how can someone of my skill be good enough to work with the biggest growing band in the world? It took a lot of reassurance and honestly a lot of sleepless nights to convince myself otherwise. I won’t lie, at first I just wanted to impress everyone but I let that get in the way. After all, I’ve looked up to you for years. You’re an amazing dancer and all I wanted was your approval. And after the first few weeks I felt like that was never going to happen. I thought that maybe I had tried too hard.” I find comfort in my drink after spilling my guts to the man in front of me. My heart pounds against my chest so hard that it hurts. Trying to ground myself from the fog beginning to form in my head, I look at the mass of people still going strong on the dance floor.

“You doubt yourself too much. And you weren’t the problem at first, it was me. When I realized I had made a huge mistake and went to Namjoon for advice. Even without knowing the past between you two, I knew that the two of you were close. That’s why I left the letter when we went away.” Letting myself relax, I almost melt into Jimin’s side and he relaxes against me as well. It’s like a weight has been lifted from my shoulder.

“And the rest is history after that.” Smiling to myself I take another long drink. I make eye contact with Hobi and Tae who slowly start to make their way from the crowd. Jimin and I disconnect from the hip with a small sigh.

“And the rest is history.” Jimin says in a whisper as the other two end up in front of us. They both are sporting a million watt smile as they make themselves a drink. I find comfort in downing the remaining drink. I don’t know how many I have had at this point but I know that there are a few more in my future.

“Why aren’t you two dancing? Last time I checked that was all you two did.” Hobi says with a ragged breath, there’s a small layer of sweat forming on his forehead. But that doesn’t seem to stop the ball of sunshine from having fun.

“I didn’t get you all dressed up for you to stand in the corner away from everyone.” Tae says sarcastically. I can’t help but elbow him lightly when he settles on my free side. I take a drink and when I lower the cup, the other four members have joined our small group. Everyone is sweating but smiling, even Yoongi. They all gulp down whatever drink they can get and each breath out a sigh of relief.

“I want to make a toast.” Namjoon says with a dimpled smile, I mean who can honestly resist that smile. He raises his cup up as he clears his throat.

“To our first world tour, to new friendships. Also to our next world tour that will be more memorable than this one.” We all raise our cups in agreement and we all laugh as liquid splashes from the energetic group.

“With that said, y/n and Jimin hyung need to get out there to dance.” Jungkook says as he drags us behind him, this time with more speed than earlier. I struggle in my shoes as the alcohol starts to hit me harder. Once all eight of us are back in the group we all let loose. All I can hear is music and laughter as we move to the beats. This drink will last longer but I know that it’s only a matter of time before I completely need to stop moving. I feel someone keeping a closer presence than the others, over my shoulder I see that Jimin is almost connected at my hip. It’s no secret that he gets clingy when he drinks which is why the others aren’t saying anything but I can tell there’s another reason behind it.

After another ten songs, my body is ready to tap out. Making my way from the group, Jimin follows behind and the others don’t seem to notice our absence. I slightly stumble in my heels and he rests a hand on the small of my back to balance me. My heart races from the small gesture, my mind races back to the other morning when we danced. It felt like an intimate moment that doesn’t happen between friends. I trip over my feet again and stop in my tracks.

Jimin comes in front of me and bends down, motioning for me to climb on. Was this really a good idea? I mean everyone could see us.

“Come on y/n, I know you’re ready to go home.” He has a point, stepping up I get situated on his back as he stands back up. His hands gripping my thighs tightly, my chin resting gently on his shoulder with my nose turned towards his neck. My senses are being assaulted with everything Jimin. I faintly hear the security guard and driver lead us to the car, once we reach the van Jimin lets me down slowly and helps me into the car. For some reason the privacy screen is up and blacked out. Even after so many trips in these vans, I’ve never seen them use the screen.

Jimin hands me my clutch and moves closer to me. My eyes are only focused on him as he helps buckle me into the seat. I try to clear my head as the van takes off, all the windows blocked off from seeing just who is being driven. Which I guess is a good thing for Jimin because the last thing he needs is a scandal with his drunk choreographer. Well I wouldn’t say drunk, more like very tipsy. Which means I still have some sense left, I can feel Jimin’s eyes watching every single move I make. I can feel him watching as I spin the rings on my hand.

“Who gave you these?” His voice is deeper than usual and I can hear his Busan dialect starting to come out. A shiver runs through my spine as I blink a few times before looking down. His hand is holding mine as he runs his thumb over the silver bands.

“This one is a matching set with Natalie.” I point at the ring on my middle finger, it’s a simple silver band with an opal stone.

“That one is from my grandmother. It’s a family heirloom.” It’s a plain silver band resting on my thumb.

“And the last one was my mother’s promise ring that my father gave her in high school.” I bring up my right hand and show him the small silver band resting on my ring finger. It’s nothing crazy, just a singular diamond. I’ve had it ever since I was little and I only wear it during special occasions.

Jimin just holds my hand as he listens, with each word he moves closer and closer towards me. Every fiber of my being is screaming at me to move closer and kiss him, but the remaining rational section of my brain tells me that it’s an absolutely awful idea. If I were to do that I’d compromise my friendship and my job.

But that doesn’t seem to be the case for him. Slowly his ring covered hand comes up to caress my cheek, pushing the hair from my face. My eyes can’t leave him as he moves even closer, my breathing starts to pick up along with the beating in my chest. He’s so close that I can feel his breath fan across my face. I don’t want to fight myself anymore, I’m tired of hiding how I feel even though it may cause a lot of trouble or confusion. Tilting my head slightly, I move forward slowly which causes Jimin to take action.

My head feels like it’s spinning as he presses his lips against him, all the tension from my body leaves as I find myself reaching out for him. Letting my hands rest on his chest, Jimin leans even closer to me and a small click registers in my brain. Before I know it I’m straddling him in the seat. Everything turns heated quickly, we both struggle for dominance in the kiss but it’s a fruitless battle on my part. He takes the lead and I can’t help but struggle to suppress the moan in the back of my throat. We break apart for air and I find myself panting, struggling to fill my aching lungs. But that doesn’t stop Jimin, his lips find themselves on my neck. Kissing and nipping their way down to the top of my shirt. My hands weave themselves into his hair and tug softly, earning a hushed moan from Jimin. That makes my body move on its own, bringing my hands to his face so our lips can reconnect. This time we are both desperate to feel the other. I can’t help but get closer to him, my chest pressed tightly against his as his hands roam against my ass. I feel like I’m going to combust from the heat between us. Working my hands under his shirt, I rub against the tone muscles of his stomach.

Just as he rounds his hands to the hem of my shirt, the van stops and the driver door opens. Jumping from Jimin’s hold, I sit back into my chair and start to slick down my hair. I can’t bring myself to look in his direction as the outside door slides open. Jimin steps out and offers a steading hand as I try to make my way out. My legs feel even more like jello after the ordeal in the van. I can’t believe I just had a makeout session with Park Jimin in the back of a van…. What was I thinking?

“Good night Jimin, Y/n.” I bow quickly acknowledging him as we make our way inside and into the elevator without much attention. Thankfully the person working in the lobby was too focused on his phone instead of us. My breath catches in my throat as the elevator door shuts on us, Jimin moves closer but not like in the car. I have to blink a few times to make sure I can see him clearly. His pupils are blown out just like I imagine mine are. He’s looking over me carefully with a soft expression, like the one he had while he sang Serendipity. The door opened on my floor and Jimin helped me exit. My feet didn’t seem to want to work once my front door was open, that caused a deep chuckle to vibrate through his chest.

“Let’s get you to bed.” Jimin effortlessly lifts me up to carry me into the bedroom. Softly he lays me down and I start to feel my head spin. I feel him unzip my boots and I hear him throw them to the side. Next he helps me to sit up and remove the jacket I had been wearing all night. Cool air rushes over me as I hear him move into the bathroom, he comes back and helps me sit up. Jimin offers me my contact case, I struggle for a few minutes getting the damn things out but eventually I got them. Then he hands me a wet wipe to remove the remaining makeup from my eyes. For a second I feel like he’s going to help me change into pjs but he stops at the jacket. Although he does hand me the shirt from earlier that I wore waiting on Tae.

“Change into this, I’ll be right back.” Clearing my head, I stand up and wiggle out of the jeans. My head throbs even more with each clumsy step. In the end I finally got out of them and the crop top, the tshirt covering just enough. Jimin returns with a glass of water that he sits on my nightstand, he ushers me under the covers and I follow without a fight. My body feels like it is going to give out at any point. Once my head hits the pillow, Jimin brings the covers over my body. As my eyes close I feel something soft press against my forehead that causes me to smile. Another chuckle hits my ears as he shuffles through a few more of my things, the sound of my phone alerts me that he’s plugged it into the charger.

“Goodnight y/n. Get some sleep.” Jimin’s voice is deep yet soft. I mumble a reply to him but I feel myself drifting off faster than expected. There’s no remorse or regret in my body as I feel deeper into sleep. Hopefully whatever happened tonight between the two of us doesn’t complicate things further. But that’s something I can worry about tomorrow.

#worth it #park jimin #BTS jimin #jimin #park jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #bts #bts smut #bts story

3 notes · View notes

95liners3rdmember · 5 years ago

Text

Worth It

Chapter Fourteen: Post Concert

Word Count: 3717

Chapter Thirteen: Concert Day 1

Just as the members start their final encore song, I gather my things and make my way towards my car. After telling Sejin my plan, he told me that he would cover for me. I know that they are going to be disappointed that I'm not waiting for them. Knowing that I’m going to hurt them physically hurts me but I know it’s for a good cause. Security watches me with pure confusion as I exit the double doors and dash to my car. Cold air hits my exposed skin and I can’t help but let out a wince of pain. Can’t believe I was dumb enough to forget a jacket, I better make sure to have one tomorrow night.

Traffic isn’t horrible getting out, but I can only imagine what it will be like for the guys when they leave. Hopefully I’ll get back to my apartment with enough of a head start but there’s still one place I need to swing by. Lucky for me it’s right on the corner of our street.

Rushing inside with my arms full of shopping bags, my phone starts continuously ringing and vibrating in my back pocket. Groaning, I drop everything on the counter and pull out the annoying device. The group chat is blowing up.

Yoongi: ‘Where did you go?’

Jungkook: ‘Noona you didn’t watch us finish….’

Jin: ‘Hey you left us!’

My heart sinks as I continue to scroll through the feed, they’re going to be really angry with me. Typing a quick response I know that I’m going to have to let Namjoon in on my surprise otherwise tomorrow is going to be awful.

Me: ‘I’m sorry, something came up.’

Clicking on Namjoon’s contact I start typing a mile a minute.

Me: ‘I left so I could come home and get dinner started for everyone. After the long day you’ve all had I figured it was the best thing to do. Once you all get back home and change please convince them to come up here. I’m sorry! But I promise to make it up to everyone.’

Tossing my phone on the counter I let it continue to buzz as I start getting everything ready. When I first moved to Korea I had no clue what to cook because I had never really needed to know, but over my short time here Jin has helped teach me a few things and so has Yoongi. Although Yoongi really only taught me a few tips and tricks for cooking at the company considering we are both workaholics.

After washing the rice, I put it in the cooker and start getting the side dishes ready. Why in the world did I stock up on so much food I’ll never know, but hey it’s coming in handy now. Putting the bag from the corner store in the fridge, I spin on my toes and run to start cleaning up while everything is either simmering or steaming. Jimin and Jungkook would scold me for the state of my apartment.

Shoes and clothes litter the walkway from the door to my bedroom, in my exhausted state coming home I just take everything off as I go. When I saw how Jimin handled Tae leaving his shoes everywhere I vowed to never let him catch me doing the same. Carrying the wad of clothes and shoes, I dumb them on the floor of my closet and close the door. I can always clean that up tomorrow.

Returning to the kitchen I stir each item to make sure nothing is sticking or starting to burn, my stomach growls as the smell wafts up from the pot. Hopefully it tastes as good as it smells. Okay I have about twenty minutes before I need to start cooking the meat, I should check and see how far away they are.

Namjoon: ‘Don’t worry, I won’t have to convince them. They’ve already planned on cleaning up and coming to see if everything is okay. We just got back to the dorm so be ready.’

He sent that just a few minutes ago, all that’s left now is to straighten up the couch that way we can all sit together. That’s the only downside to having dinner with everyone in my apartment, there’s just not enough space for us all to sit and eat together at a table. Maybe I should look into getting more chairs to put around the island.

My body moves into autopilot as I start plating up the side dishes and placing them on the island. Everything from kimchi to instant ramen cover the counter and I have no doubt everything will get eaten tonight.

After cooking all of the meat, I text Namjoon that the front door is open and I rush into my bathroom to clean myself up. I didn’t realize how gross I felt after spending all day on the go. My shower is quick, probably the quickest I’ve ever been considering they could show up at any moment.

Throwing on whatever clean clothes I find, I grab my hair brush and start to work at my hair but I freeze when I hear voices coming from the living room. They’re here….

Tossing the brush back in the bathroom, it hits the counter and a loud pop echoes through the room. My face scrunches up and there’s no way they didn’t hear it. Bending over I scrunch my hair and snap back up letting it fall down my back, practically soaking my shirt. Exiting my room swiftly I find them gathered around the island with wide eyes and touched smiles. The sight alone makes my stomach flutter as I search for my voice.

“It was a rough day for everyone so I figured I’d try to make it a little better.” My fingers fiddle with a strand of hair as they all look up at me with a shocked look. I locked eyes with Jimin and I can see the tears start building, my stomach drops and I fight against myself so I don’t run to him.

Looking around at the seven men I feel so much smaller than I actually am. The way they are looking at me feels like they are giants towering over me trying to figure out what to do with me. Nervously I maneuver around them and pull out the items I bought from the corner store, soju and beer.

“We all can’t have too much but just enough to take the edge from today away.”

“Thank you.” It’s Yoongi that breaks their silence and a gummy smile breaks out on his face. Slowly one by one all of their expressions change to joy, a deep breath leaves my lungs and I didn’t even realize I had been holding my breath.

The previous silence and tension melts away as they all start making themselves at home and reach for chopsticks. Leaning against the countertop beside the sink I tilt my head and something in my chest feels warm. It’s like a feeling of home, something I haven’t felt in such a long time. Being with them, all of them eating and genuinely happy makes my heart race with joy. Is this what it’s like to be unconditionally happy? If it is, then I’ll take it even if it’s only for a moment.

“You need to eat too.” Jimin whispers into my ear as he stands beside me with a glass of soju in his hand. Looking out of the corner of my eye I watch as he sips slowly, his eyes on mine the whole time. Heat rushes to my face as I think back to this morning. The more I’m around him the more I feel my feelings start to change. It’s embarrassing honestly. I should be smarter than to start falling for one of the most popular idols in Korea. But then again I’ve never been called smart.

Breaking eye contact I shrug my shoulders and take away the glass from his hand to take my own sip. It seems to take him by shock because his eyes widened into saucers before going back to normal.

“I’ll eat after everyone else gets their fill.” Taking another sip I shoot Jin a wide smile when he holds a thumbs up, approving my cooking. At least they are enjoying themselves.

“I saw how much you ate earlier and I have a feeling you didn’t eat breakfast.” Over the last month Jimin and I became more aware of each other. Now I can easily figure out the reason he starts slowing down or having a rough day and vise versa. Some days we don’t have to verbally communicate, we just know. It’s weird and hard to explain but Namjoon was right about us. The others who are more intune with Jimin are either Hobi or Tae and that is all depending on the day.

Jimin snatches back his glass just as a hand pushed me in the direction of the others. Namjoon greets me with an arm around my shoulder, chopsticks ready to shovel food into my mouth. As I try to protest I get a mouthful of chicken, laughing I bend over and cover my mouth. The scenario reminds me of the part in Mulan where Mushu shoves porridge in Mulan’s mouth. Tears build in my eyes as I continue laughing while trying to swallow the food. Once my mouth is clear my lungs beg for air, coughs mixed with laughter spill from my lips. Namjoon really just tried to kill me. Standing back up I playfully smack his arm before going to get my own pair of chopsticks, he just shrugs at his attempt.

As I start eating I feel someone press close to me from behind and Jimin leans over to grab another bite. My knees bend slightly I give him more room but I feel smothered. Namjoon must sense my internal struggle as he moves over to allow more room. From the corner of my eye I see a smirk take over Jimin’s expression just before it goes back to normal. What’s with him tonight? He’s being more physical than normal. But I really can’t complain though, truthfully, I like it.

“This is really good y/n.” Hobi compliments as he takes another large bite. Everyone seems to be eating their fill, which makes me happy because some days I have to make sure they take basic care of themselves.

“Yeah only after a few lessons with Jin hyung and you’re basically a natural.” Yoongi snickers because he knows that I struggle, which isn’t a secret. If it wasn’t for Yoongi I’d be starved most nights.

“Quit teasing me Oppa. Last time I checked I was allowed to have a hard time cooking.”

“That’s why she came to the best for help!” Jin chimes in with a million watt smile. A hand is reached out and I answer with a high five before taking another bite. Jin and Jungkook start play fighting while they chew their food, earning deep gut filled laughs from everyone witnessing them.

I can’t really imagine being anywhere else in this moment. Right now I feel like I’m on cloud nine, like nothing else matters as long as I’m with these seven people. Standing beside them, laughing and living life. This moment, this is the moment where I know exactly what I want. I want to be with BTS until the end.

As the night drags on, most of the younger members make their way back down to their dorm. Jin and Yoongi are standing in the kitchen watching as I clean the dirty dishes. Of course they don’t enjoy the thought of not helping, but I made it very clear that they weren’t to do anything. Their only job was to relax and unwind.

“I really hope Jungkook is okay. His shoulder seemed to be bothering him again.” Subconsciously I kept an eye on the maknae to make sure he wasn’t in too much pain. Every once in awhile I would catch him wincing but he would play it off.

“JK is tough, come tomorrow he will be back at 100%.” Jin tries to reassure me with a classic windshield laugh but something doesn’t settle right in my stomach. Tomorrow morning I’ll let them know the changes just to be on the safe side.

“I don’t know, he seemed more worn out than normal.” Yoongi chimes in and I can’t help but nod in agreement. Sure he was playful during dinner but after the light drained from his eyes as he went quiet. I wanted to ask him about it but he left before I could.

“It’s because he’s worried about letting people down.” I can’t help but turn and look Jimin in the eyes. I was positive that he had already left for the night, Jin and Yoongi seem just as surprised. Jimin still wants to talk about earlier.

Putting the last of the dishes away I pivot on my toes and turn completely to face them. It’s like Jimin’s statement hit a nerve with everyone in the room. The pressure they are under, it’s something that I’ll never be able to understand. They all have the fear of not being good enough, of not doing enough. I wish I could make them see themselves through everyone else’s eyes. The way Army and the staff look at them, you would think they hung the stars in the sky. They’ve helped so many people. Including me.

“I don’t think any of you could let anyone down. Yes, you may make a few mistakes but those won’t matter. After all you’ve accomplished so much and helped so many.”

The entire atmosphere of the room changes, I can tell that the three men are trying to find a flaw in my logic. I’m no expert when it comes to understanding the life of an idol, but I’ve been friends with one long enough to know that the pressure is intensified.

“At the end of the day, each one of you are still human. There’s nothing you can do to change that. Mistakes and mishaps are a part of the journey.” My body relaxes and the muscles in my shoulders release the tension from the day after the statement. Because it’s true. No one can truly be perfect, it’s impossible.

“But that doesn’t mean we aren't under a microscope 24/7.” Yoongi’s voice breaks the silence as the four of us were in a strange stare off. Jin slowly nods in agreement while Jimin’s gave scrunches up at the comment.

“I will never know what it’s like to live the life you have. And by no means do I ever want to. But at the end of the day you need to stop putting the weight of the world on yourselves.” Moving to the counter across from them, I feel my expression change into something soft. A warm-hearted smile spreading on my lips as I suck in a soft breath.

“But with that being said, I’ll still be here for days like today. Even days when you need to vent or days when you need to disconnect from the world.” The statement seems to catch them off guard. If I want to be there for them through everything, it calls for a little bending of the rules. If they call me at three in the morning saying they need a breather, I’ll be there.

“Are you sure you can handle that? There’s seven of us compared to your one.” Jin wiggles a mischievous brow. Namjoon wouldn’t even question, he knows what I’m capable of. But the others don’t.

“I’m not too worried about it. But I’m worried about you guys getting enough sleep for tomorrow.” I catch a glimpse of the clock and internally I groan. It’s way past one and getting closer to two in the morning.

“You just said you’d be there and now you’re kicking us out.” Jin and Yoongi slightly scold me as they start getting their stuff gathered to head downstairs. Jimin just stands in the hallway leaning against the wall making no effort to leave. The other two don’t seem to question his strange behavior as they both offer me goodbye hugs. My heart swells and races with love as they both wrap me in a tight embrace. This isn’t the first time Jin has hugged me, most nights that’s how practices end but for Yoongi it’s a first. Which makes this even better.

When the door shuts softly I walk back to face Jimin head on. His eyes are focused on the floor, his cheeks flushed from the soju, hair ruffled from the countless times he’s messed with it. Stepping closer, Jimin seems to notice my presence and snaps his head back up. An emotion I can’t put my finger on flashes across his face and next thing I know I’m pressed tightly into his chest.

I react and wrap my arms around his torso just as tightly as he holds me. My heart is beating out of my chest and there’s no way he doesn’t either hear it or feel it. His chin rests on the top of my head as his breathing picks up. Jimin’s body shakes slightly and I can’t tell if it’s from the position we are in or if he’s crying again. Either way I don’t know how much longer I can stay like this. It’s all too much and I want nothing more than to stay like this. His scent washes over me clouding my mind, it’s getting harder to rationalize my reasoning for trying to keep my feelings bottled up.

A sniffle reaches my ears and I’m snapped out of my thoughts. My hands react and start rubbing comforting circles on his back. With each sniffle and broken sob breaks my heart more and more.

“Jimin….” A small scream leaves my lips as Jimin turns us and starts sliding down the wall. His face buries itself in my chest as he holds onto me even tighter than before. All I can do is hold him in the same embrace, my own tears rolling down my cheeks as he lets out all of his frustration and disappointment. My fingers play with the hair resting against his neck as I bend my own neck down to rest my forehead on the top of his.

We stay like this for what seems like an eternity. It’s painful how long it takes him to calm down and to face me again. My heart breaks at the sight of his red cheeks and swollen eyes. I wipe away the remaining tears that rest against his hot cheeks. Sniffing I wipe my own cheeks and try to offer him a soft smile.

“I’m sorry….” Jimin’s voice is raw from the crying, his dialect making itself known. Slowly I reposition myself onto the floor in between his legs. Our eyes never break away from each other as I grab both of his hands and hold firmly.

“Please don’t apologize.” Jimin traces patterns on my skin as we sit in a strange silence. There’s no shine in his eyes, the normal gleam is gone and replaced with a clouded glaze. It hurts to know that he’s struggling like this. I’ve never been able to handle situations like these and yet here I am, the only person it seems that Jimin will turn to. And with all of my might I will try to make him feel safe.

“It’s okay to make mistakes, but I also know this isn't what you want to hear. Just know that I’m here… for anything.” Mustering up a smile, I give his hand one quick squeeze before untangling myself from him. We both stumble up from our spot on the ground as we continue to look at each other. There’s a weak smile on his lips and it makes my heart constrict. What I wouldn’t give to replace it with the warm smile I’ve come to know.

Breaking eye contact I glance over at the clock and notice it’s just past 3:30. Shit, he needs to get to bed. We all have to be back at the stadium by 11. Snapping my attention back to Jimin I notice the bags under his eyes and his lack of energy. How could I be so careless to keep him up so late? Manager Sejin is going to kill me tomorrow for sure.

“Jimin, you need to head back to the dorms. I can see how exhausted you are.”

“I didn’t notice the time. Don’t be surprised if I’m late tomorrow.” His voice is gravely from crying but there’s a teasing tone which lifts my spirits a little. Maybe he just needed a good cry.

Leading him to the door, I watch as he slips into his slides. What I don’t expect is for him to pull me into another right embrace. But this time there aren’t any tears, just a quiet thank you. My cheeks feel like they are on fire and my heart is beating like I ran a marathon. I guess emotionally I did today….

Separating, I smile up at him and lightly pat his chest. Jimin chuckles at my action.

“Get some sleep, I’ll see you at the stadium. Text me if you need anything.” My voice fades off into a yawn that I hide behind my hand. I guess my lack of sleep is catching up.

“I will. Get some sleep y/n, you’re going to need it for sure.” What does he mean by that?

Before I can ask him, the front door closes and I’m left alone again. Shuffling like a child, I gather my phone and purse to hide away in my room. No doubt I’ll be awake in just a few hours.

Flipping the switch, I plop down into the bed and plug my phone up. Thankfully there aren’t any missed calls or texts. Looks like there haven’t been any changes to the schedule tomorrow. Burrowing into the pillows, I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Today was by far the most emotional and draining day of my life. And it’s only the beginning of the three concert weekend.

#worth it #park jimin #BTS jimin #jimin #park jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #bts #bts smut #bts story

1 note · View note

95liners3rdmember · 5 years ago

Text

Worth It

Chapter Thirteen: Concert Day 1

Word Count: 5424

Chapter Twelve: Last Night

Ever since Natalie went back home, the members and I have been going nonstop. We had to put the finishing touches on the MAMA performances, which also happen to be the songs we needed to film and finish up anyways. My favorite was the ‘Mic Drop’ remix, but it was also the most exhausting. Even after they were finished and leaving for the day I stayed behind to make sure that there were no changes that needed to be made to make it better or easier for them. A few times Jimin or Namjoon caught me staying late and that would spark a small disagreement but at the end of the day they both knew that there was no way in changing my mind. After all if I could work through all of the pressure of award shows or tour dates then I’m not cut out for this job.

Which is why I’m sitting in my car watching over the last concert performance. I wasn’t here when the choreo was made for the Wings tour so I’ve been having to learn it all on top of everything else. It normally wouldn’t be a big deal but I want to make sure the members can come to me if they are having any problems. The first concert for the three day back-to-back-to-back performances start tonight and this is the most nervous I’ve ever been in my entire life. Yesterday rehearsal went pretty well but there were a few changes made to the stage so I need to go in and make sure it’s still safe enough for them.

My heart is beating out of my chest as I pull my sunglasses down to cover my eyes, as I exit my car I sling my backpack over my shoulder and head towards the staff entrance. It’s early enough to where the only people here are the security team and the stylists. After a quick greeting I’m walking down the long hallways towards the staff room. Small laughter echo from the fitting rooms and I find myself stepping lighter so I don’t disrupt their little world. Hopefully my assistant will be here soon to keep me company, after all the members are going to be too focused on the performance.

Peeling out of my hoodie, I toss my sunglasses into my bag and dig out my headphones. As I walk down the hallway towards the stage I pull my hair up and out of my face. The stage crew all wave a good morning greeting and I kindly return it as I make my way up to the stage. In an hour or so the backup dancers will be here with the members and we will do a runthrough of the concert to make sure everything looks good. But for now I have the entire stage to play around with. Hitting shuffle, I place my phone down on the edge of the stage and I let my body follow the music.

As I move, I can’t help but smile. I’ve never and never will perform on a stage at this magnitude. But it’s fun to play around and just imagine what the energy would feel like. It’s no wonder why they all start to miss the stage after stepping off. It’s actually insane to witness how much they’ve changed from the rookies to the seasoned group, yes they have a ways to go but I have faith that they will be able to make all of their dreams and goals achievable. And I’ll make sure I’m there with them for when the road gets tough.

Lately it’s been getting harder and harder for them to hide their struggles from each other. The one that really worries me is Jin oppa, as a person he knows what makes him happy and doesn’t really let the small things get him down. But lately he hasn’t been as playful or joyful. And I’m not the only one who’s noticed. After New Years the members are going away for a weekend with no staff and no cameras. Just seven boys that need time to separate themselves and figure out where their hearts are.

Spinning on the tips of my toes I almost fall over as I spot a pair of crescent shaped eyes watching me with a wide smile. Balancing myself, I take out a headphone and smile back at him. It’s surprising that he’s one of the first one’s here.

“Good morning Jimin. Seems you do know how to be early.” Teasing him, I move over to grab my phone. Seems I missed a few messages from him and a pout forms on my face when I read the offer for coffee. Turning back to him I can’t hide the pout but his smile turns into a smirk.

“Good morning y/n. Seems you missed a prime opportunity.” Rolling my eyes I walk over to him and just as I make it over he pulled out a large cup from behind his back, two actually. I try and grab one of the cups from him but he quickly reacts and holds it slightly higher. Seems he’s in a playful mood today,

“Thank you for bringing me coffee.” Tilting my head to the side I manage a wide, cheesy smile. Deep down I know it’s not hard to, afterall look at who’s standing in front of me. It seems to work as Jimin lowers his arm and gives me the one with a white straw. Jimin really did remember every detail, the one time all of our drinks were sitting together and I made the mistake of taking Yoongi’s. I swear I was wide awake for the rest of the night, I even came up with part of the choreo for an award show that night. Ever since I’ve always made sure that mine stood out.

“Anytime. It’s surreal that the tour is almost over.” Jimin’s voice softens as he looks out into the dark arena. His eyes seem a little darker than normal, the usual shine isn’t burning as bright. If there wasn’t a concert today I might mention it but I’d rather not makes things worse.

“It won’t be long before the next one starts though. And I have a feeling that it’s going to be even more amazing than this one. More memories.” Bringing the staw up to my lips I take a quick sip but nervously start to bite down on the plastic. In the short time I’ve been here I’ve already made so many memories with each member that I can’t help but be selfish and want to make more.

“I guess.” There’s a pained tone in his voice just before he starts drinking. Thinking quickly I set my cup down and scroll through my playlist. Jimin’s eyes watch every move I make, thankfully the stage crew have left to take a break before the other members come in. Finding the song I was looking for a huge smile breaks out across my face. Just as the song starts playing my hand wraps around Jimin’s wrist and I tug him away from the speaker that we were leaning on.

‘Go-Go’ fills the silence around us and we first start off trying to do the choreo but the more we get into the song, the more we just start goofing off. Turning to face each other we just make ridiculous face at each other as we dance in place. Jimin’s somber expression turns into the one that I always want to see on him, happiness. His mind is taken off of the performance tonight for a split second. As the song ends we both slow down to a stand still, our breathing ragged from jumping around like idiots. Honestly if you didn’t know who we were you would’ve thought we had never danced a day in our lives.

The next song starts playing and before I can walk away to change it Jimin gently pulls me towards him, making sure to keep his hands away from anything inappropriate, we start to move to the calming beat. ‘Serendipity’ softly plays behind us and I can’t help but feel my body start to heat up and turn red from the closeness. The fact that ‘Serendipity’ is playing doesn’t help either. Following his lead I place my hands on his shoulders and try to avoid eye contact the best I can.

Jimin softly sings along as we move in a small circle on the massive stage. My heart is beating out of my chest and I’m really scared that he might be able to hear it. Looking up at his through my lashes I can’t help the leap my heart does. His eyes are closed and a soft smile as formed, against my sides his fingers tap along with the beat. Carefully he pulls me closer as the song goes on, close enough that I’m able to wrap my arms around his neck. This is starting to get too intimate, too close for my liking. My brain can’t wrap itself around what’s going on and my heart feels like it could literally burst at any second.

“Let me love you…” Jimin’s voice is right in my ear as he sings, goosebumps form under my sleeves. It would surprise me if I looked like a love-struck teenager right now. Raising my eyes to him again our gazes meet and it’s intense. It’s corny to say the least, all of the K-Drama’s and fairy tales describe the same situation. If this were all happening under a different situation, if he was someone else or I didn’t work for him, I might have tried to kiss him.

“Jimin hyung where are you? And where’s Noona?” The invasion of Jungkook’s voice causes us to break apart. Jimin makes his way towards the young man’s voice as I just stand there and try to regain my composure. What just happened? Did I really just think about kissing Park Jimin? The person who I consider my second closest friend…. Seriously what’s wrong with me!

Rushing over to my phone, I turn off the music just in time for the other six to come walking out. Stuffing my things into my lone pocket, I look over and see that Jimin seems focused on whatever Jungkook is saying, but that’s none of my concern. Taehyung and Hobi come running up to me to go on and on about how Jimin beat them to practice for once. Saying that he must be an imposter and the real Jimin has been taken. Halfheartedly I laugh and agree but I know for sure that the real Jimin is with us.

Namjoon can tell that something is up as he raises a questioning brow. Shaking my head toward him, I go to stand near the sound booth. Everyone starts getting their in-ears and mics ready, someone from the sound booth hands me a mic just in case since I’ll be standing in the empty seats watching. Bending down, my phone and headphones come tumbling out of my pocket. Bending down to grab them, Namjoon taps me on the shoulder just as I was about to slide down the stage.

“What’s up Joon?” Whispering to him as the others are working on getting themselves wired up, he holds out his hand. Was I supposed to bring him something? Tilting my head I show my confusion and he can’t help but laugh.

“Give me your stuff, I’ll have Jungkook run them to the staff room.” His dimple peaks through as his smile forms. Feeling like an idiot I gently place the electronics in his waiting hand. Namjoon turns on his heels and I slide under the bar to drop down to the floor, making my way up to the mid bowl level. Just as I make it to a good spot, Jungkook yells into the mic to get my attention.

“Noona you really need to get pants with pockets.” I know that he’s teasing but I can’t help the guilt form in my stomach. I shouldn’t be having them do any favors for me. Bringing the mic up to my lips I talk softly.

“Jungkook you don’t have to take them. I can do it.” He waves me off and starts running to the back, mic in hand.

“I’m just teasing noona! Be right back.” The next thing I see is the maknae sprinting to the back of the stage and out of sight. I can’t help but laugh at his antics and energy, but I feel like a pair of eyes are on me…. I look over at Jimin and Tae, their mics are behind their backs as they are deep in conversation but Jimin’s eyes keep cutting over towards me. Yoongi seems to notice their isolation and he looks up towards me too.

Thankfully just as quickly as he disappeared, Jungkook returned. Breathing a sigh of relief I bring my mic up. My stomach is doing flips from earlier but I can’t worry about that right now, no right now my main focus needs to be this run through.

“Let’s start from the top.”

A few hours later and I’m crashing into a chair in the staff room. There were a few things that needed to be changed and luckily they were all minor. The managers stole the members from me right around lunch so they could eat and start getting ready. Which was a blessing in disguise since I needed a breather away from all of them for a moment. Between what happened this morning and their pre-concert energy I felt drained. I never expected them to be this hyper the morning of a concert.

My phone is blowing up with notifications and text messages from everyone. My assistant was letting me know that all of the backup dancers were ready and the changes were noted. Apparently any staff that drove themselves need to be aware that there will be a delay leaving tonight because of traffic and security is being magnified after seeing all of the fans waiting outside.

Never a dull moment at BigHit, looks like I won’t be getting home until later. Scrolling through my phone as I eat my box lunch, a message from Jimin pops up on my screen.

Jimin: ‘Can you come to the dressing room? Jin hyung is complaining that you haven’t been hanging out as much lately.”

My heart sinks in my chest, I really haven’t seen them much beside practice since before award season. Putting the lid on my lunch, I grab all of my stuff and make my way down the hallway. On my way towards the dressing room I pass by Manager Sejin who stops me.

“Hey y/n, good to see you! I know it’s been a while since we saw each other but I wanted to say thank you for all of the hard work. The guys seem happier having you here.” The smile he has when he mentions the members causes my heart to warm. Sejin really cares about each and every member of BTS with all of his being.

“Thank you Sejin, it’s been amazing and I can’t wait for next year.”

“I feel the same. Where you on your way somewhere? Because if you could, would you stop by their dressing room? A few of them have been complaining that they haven’t seen you outside of practice.” Wow, they really talk about me to Sejin. I can’t help but giggle at the statement.

“Actually I was on my way to see them. Jimin had texted me.”

“Oh then let me help, I’m pretty sure the door is shut and you have your hands full.”

Sejin leads the way and even takes my lunch from my hands. Smiling softly, he gently knocks on the door and lets them know he has a special delivery. He enters the room first and places my lunch down on the table, I enter behind him and the entire room burst out with cheers.

“Finally! It felt like you were avoiding all of us!” Jin yells from his spot on the couch, his hands hovering a pair of chopsticks over his steaming bowl of noodles. Seven pairs of eyes are on me as I stand like a deer in the headlights. They literally just spent over three hours with me practicing, but I guess just sitting together is different. Sejin says his goodbye and leaves the room quietly but not before I’m able to see the smile blossoming on his face.

The only empty seat is between Yoongi and Hobi, setting my bag down I carry my lunch over and curl up into the spot. There’s food spread all over the table in front of us and humidifiers fill the room with steam. Hobi hooks an arm around my shoulder and gives me a side hug. Leaning into his touch I maneuver to return the embrace.

“After the concert, let’s all go out and eat.” Yoongi suggest as I break away from Hobi and nudge him lightly. It’s been over a month since we’ve all gone out to dinner together and it sounds like a great idea. But is there going to be a restaurant open that late after the concert?

“Will anything be open that late? The last time I checked everything will be closed by then.” It seems to throw Yoongi for a loop as he digs out his phone to check the times of nearby restaurants. A defeated groan leaves his lips before he slumps into the couch. But before I let him get too defeated I pat his arm.

“We can cook at my house. I’ve been meaning to cook all the meat in my fridge before it goes bad. I just haven’t had time to since we’ve all been so busy.”

“But we will get back to the dorms before you will, security tends to rush us out of the venue as quickly as possible.” Yoongi has to remind me of the email that was sent around to everyone. Taking a bite of my rice, I shrug my shoulders. There’s a simple and easy solution to the problem.

“I’ll give one of you the key to my apartment. You all can go ahead and start cooking, hopefully I’ll be able to help once I get there. Trust me when I say there’s plenty of food, in all honesty I was planning on cooking more but most nights I order takeout on the way home.” Them all seem happy with the solution but Jin looks irritated that I’ve been skipping healthy meal choices for something quick. One day Jin went into big brother mode and scolded me for all of the takeout boxes I had in my office.

They all agree with the plan and we continue to eat our lunches in silence. As the members finish they all excuse themselves so they can shower and get ready for the stylist. Waving bye, Jin goes to throw his trash away and takes the opportunity to steal the empty seat beside me

“Have you been avoiding us?” Jin fake pouts as he leans his head against my shoulder. Sometimes I wonder if Jin is the real maknae of the group.

“You know I haven’t oppa, I’ve just been busy like you. I’ll make up for it tonight!” He seems satisfied with that answer. Jumping from his seat he pulls me into a tight hug, lifting me from my seat.

“See you before the show y/n! You better be cheering us on!” Jin’s laugh vibrates through my body before he sets me back down. He lightly jogs out of the room and silence greets me again. Only Jimin and I are left. Turning my attention to him, I see that he’s fidgeting with his phone, like he’s nervous about something.

“You’ve been done eating longer than anyone. Are you okay?” I get up from my seat and make my way over to Jimin, I pat him thigh playfully as I plop down on the couch beside him. Propping my head up with an arm against the back of the couch, I watch as he slowly locks his phone and bends over to get something from a bag.

“I wanted to give this to you earlier this morning but I forgot.” What is he talking about?

He hands me a box, thankfully it’s not wrapped up but I’m still confused. Taking the lid off my eyes widen as I pull out the contents. A new in-ear and pack, the ear piece has a white marble pattern like the case Natalie gave me for my laptop. On the battery pack my name is written. I was going to use an old pair that the company has had for a while, I never thought about getting my own because I wasn’t sure if I would need to wear one.

“It’s already paired with the crews and ours. You’ll be able to use it tonight and for the rest of the time you’re with us.” Tears form in the corner of my eyes and I wrap my arms around his shoulders tightly. It’s such a thoughtful gift, Jimin really did think of everything today.

“Thank you Jimin, I’m guessing this is why you got here early today.” He nods slowly as I release my tight hold on him and go back to looking at the device in my lap.

“I should get going though before stylist noona comes looking for me.”

I can tell that Jimin is torn between leaving and staying, but I usher for him to get going. The last thing we need today is him getting scolded and me getting in trouble for keeping him longer than necessary. Just as he goes to cross the threshold, I call out for him.

“Jimin, you’re going to do great tonight.” Smiling I hold a thumbs up, earning myself the signature Jimin smile which instantly washed away any worry I have for tonight. With that he disappears from my sight and I’m left alone for the second time today. The next time I see them, they’ll be going up to the stage. I have no doubt they are going to do great.

The night has been going great so far, the arena is filled with an energy I’ve never felt before. Even at the concert back home there wasn’t this feeling. All night I’ve been smiling and watching from backstage. So far the solos have just gotten started and Jimin is performing ‘Lie’ next. My eyes are glued to the screen as Jungkook performs ‘Begin’, a few other staff members have joined me and from over the screen I can see Namjoon, Hobi and Yoongi making their way towards us. They have a little break before they’re needed. Tonight is going to be a long night.

“Night in-ear.” Namjoon teases me quietly as he watches to youngest with pride in his eyes. Over the years they’ve all gotten stronger as vocalists and dancers, it’s amazing to witness.

‘Begin’ comes to an end and everyone is getting ready to compliment Jungkook, but all I can see is Jimin walking towards the lift in the stage. He’s turned on his performance mode and the seriousness in his eyes is intimidating. I offer him a quick thumbs up just as him and Jungkook trade places on the platform. They high five as they switch and Jungkook rushes past us to change into the next outfit.

“Jimin seems a little off tonight.” I almost jumped out of my skin as Taehyung sneaks up behind me. Nodding in agreement I watch as the screen starts to light up and Jimin’s solo begins, someone calls for me through my in-ear and before I turn to go to the changing room, I locked eyes with Taehyung.

“Cheer him on Taehyung.”

“Always. Please start calling me Tae. You call everyone else a nickname.” He pouts and I can’t help but laugh.

“Not true. I don’t call Namjoon anything besides his name.” Well at least in front of everyone else. But if Tae wants me to start using a nickname then I’ll do it. Waving a rushed goodbye, I listen through my in-ear and run towards Jungkook. He’s sitting on the chair rotating his shoulder, he must’ve tweaked his muscle again.

“Y/n Jungkook irritated his muscle during the first few sets. Should we come up with a backup plan for a few of the more difficult choreographies?” Jungkook looks at me with wide doe eyes as the medical aid starts to tape up his shoulder. There are only a few that I’m worried about and they can always be changed on the fly.

“Jungkook what do you want to do? I need to know how you honestly feel before making any changes. I don’t want you to push yourself too far.” My voice is stern but caring. The last thing I want is for him to be disappointed and in pain. I can’t judge the state that he’s in but I know the set after the second round of solos are going to be intense.

“Can I tell you after ‘I need U’? I’ll try out the tape and see if that helps anything.” Nodding, I watch him take some pain medicine before pulling his shirt back up. Looking up at the screen, Jimin looks troubled as his solo comes to an end. My heart drops when I see the frustration filled his face and his eyes start to turn red. That’s not good, what did I miss.

“I’ll go ahead and start thinking of alternative. But take it easy for a few before the next set. You did great out there Jungkook!” Offering him a smile, I take off running and that when my heart drops even more.

“Y/n we need you under the stage.” Everyone can hear the announcement and my feet carry me even further into the chaos. The members point me in the direction of the voice the summoned me and I guess in the chaos of things I failed to notice it was Sejin calling me. Tae looks at me with a pained expression. As I pass Yoongi who’s waiting to go up to the stage he yells out to me and grabbed ahold of my wrist pulling me in.

“His voice cracked while performing and he missed a stage right after.” Yoongi whispers into my ear so everyone else connected can’t hear. Afterall they all just witnessed it hands on while I was busy with Jungkook. Nodding, my heart picks up faster as I break away and find Jimin crouching down with Sejin standing above him. Turning off my in-ear, I take one out and crouch down to pull Jimin’s hands away from his face.

Sejin places a hand gently on my shoulder, looking up at him I can see that he’s having a hard time leaving. I mouth that I’ll take care of him and he takes that as a promise and walks away leaving Jimin and I alone. Jimin’s eyes are filled with tears that are threatening to spill and he looks angry with a touch of disappointment. Reaching up I pull out one of his in-ears and I take his face in my hands forcing him to focus on me. We don’t have a lot of time but I have to help him.

“Jimin, don’t worry about it and don’t beat yourself up. I know that you wanted to make sure everything was perfect for ARMY but sometimes things happen. Please don’t be so hard on yourself.” Jimin seems to be trying to calm himself but failing. His eyes look away from me and to the floor. All I can do is reassure him and try to make him feel better. We don’t have much time, ‘First Love’ is almost halfway through and after is ‘So Far Away’.

“Jimin, look at me. You’ve got this. I’m sure ARMY would much rather you be happy and continue having fun tonight. This weekend is the Finale of the tour, a tour you’ve grown so much on. Just push this to the back of your mind and try to keep having a good time.” Jimin’s eyes meet mine again and he nods. I stand back up and bring him with me, thankfully we have just enough time to get him to the dressing room to change.

I make my way back to the small huddle of the rap line, my body feels like it’s vibrating. First I needed to start thinking of ways to change the choreo last minute and then Jimin had an episode. Which is something I’ll never blame him for and I’ll always be there to help, but it takes a lot out of me seeing him like that. It takes a lot out of me seeing any of them in that condition. I guess I didn’t realize I was shaking when Namjoon places a hand on the small of my back. Looking up at him my vision is blurry, great now is not a time to cry.

Namjoon rushes me past everyone to the dressing room, which is now empty. He digs out my backpack and grabs my glasses’ case. As soft sobs take over I pop out my contacts and replace them with my glasses. Namjoon pulls me into a tight hold and rubs my back softly. This is not how I thought tonight would be going. At least Namjoon is the one with me because if it were anyone else I would be way worse.

“It’s going to be okay, things happen. Just breathe.” Breathing in and out a few times slowly, I wipe the tears from my face and look back up at him with a sad smile.

“I just hate seeing all of you struggle. There’s not much I can do besides provide moral support and it kills me.” My voice cracks as I wipe my face clean with my sleeve.

“That’s why after the New Year the members are going on a weekend trip remember. There’s a lot we all need to work out but having you in our corner really does mean a lot. I mean, I've never seen them get so attached to anyone this quick. So please don’t doubt yourself.” Nodding is all I can manage as I calm myself down, we’re running out of time before they all need to be up on the stage. We look at each other and nod in sync, making our way back to the understage.

Seems we were gone longer than I thought as the vocal line come back down to change quickly, Jungkook looks at me with a thumbs up and mouths that he will be okay the rest of the night. A strange feeling of relief washes over me but tonight I do need to come up with a backup plan just in case tomorrow he’s in the same position.

They all gather into a group and chant before standing on the lift, before my eyes they disappear onto the stage and it isn't long before the crowd cheers louder than I’ve ever heard. Sighing deeply, a wave of calm rushes over me but it’s short lived as I watch the screen. In times like these I’ll always be worried about them, even if they don’t want me to. Because in this short amount of time they’ve become more than just BTS, they’re my family.

Sejin joins me and motions towards the opening, I follow him quickly and the next thing I know we’ve made our way to the pit beside the stage. It’s not very visible from the audience but the members spot us as they run around waving to ARMY. I can’t help but cheer along and dance like I’m part of the purple sea.

“Anytime you want you can come out here and watch. There’s not much left to do accept cheer them on. At the end of the day though, that’s all we really can do. But it works better than anything. As long as they know we are in their corner.” Sejin smiles to himself as he waves back to the boys in front of him. He’s right, they need to know that the people they care most for are there for them. And I’m going to make sure that I do that tonight. Even if that means I make them a little upset in the process.

#worth it #park jimin #BTS jimin #jimin #park jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #bts #bts story #bts smut

1 note · View note