#trans rules of engagement

[zipper-neck]

Trans Rules of Engagement

By Florence Ashley

Strong communities make us all safer. As anti-trans movements gain in power and influence, holding space for each other through our flaws remains critical. Yet the very conditions that create our need for community care make it hard for us to care for each other. We are raw, wounded, traumatized, and hypervigilant. We make mistakes brought on by fear and hurt. We lash out at each other when we do wrong, often partaking in pile-ons facilitated by the synchronous nature of online interactions. Whether we realize it or not, we often exclude trans people from community when they need it most.

I have lost count of the number of trans people I have seen cast out of online trans spaces for misdeeds both major and minor—far too often with my help. I sometimes find myself wondering where they are now and whether they are still alive. Because, as Kai Cheng Thom has taught us, social death often means real death for trans people. Trans communities are life-sustaining in a world that hates us so, so much. In a world that wants us dead. We have lost too many people not to stop and think about how we can foster life among each other.

This goal I have for myself—that of fostering life—motivates the following principles and rules for engaging in online intra-community conflicts while preserving the life-sustaining spirit of our communities. Countless times have I failed to heed these principles and ignored these rules. This failure, which many of us share, is precisely why I now want to lay these principles and rules down on paper. If only as a reminder of my aspirations. The principles and rules are meant to be adopted for oneself, not imposed onto others. Their purpose is to foster productive engagement, not create even more conflict and rigidity. I hope that this will be a living document, and invite you to make your own version if you would like. Borrow what is useful, supplement with what is needed, alter what can be improved.

Some, and perhaps all, of the principles I acknowledge are false, hence the need for a living document. Each of my suggested rules have exceptions. In setting them out, I am staking a claim as to the sort of myths and half-truths that are necessary to sustain life in a world that wants us dead. We must treat them as true if we wish to foster life-sustaining communities and survive the hellscape we belabor.

Principles

1. We are all flawed, traumatized humans at the end of their rope. Many of our actions say more about the conditions we live under than who we are as people.

2. No one is disposable. No one is unsalvageable.

3. Life holds greater value than being right or comfortable. Hurt is preferable to death.

4. No one should be deprived of community.

5. Harm does not require further harm. Punishment does not equate protection or healing.

Rules

1. Do not depart from these rules, unless you have to.

2. Morgan M. Page’s Rule: Try to avoid criticizing other trans people in public. The world does it enough already.

3. Favor in person or private conversations: Addressing someone’s comments or actions in person or privately is typically more constructive and effective. It allows you to communicate more cogently and with more nuance problems in someone’s actions or words and because it is less likely to make them react defensively from a place of trauma or fear.

4. Take your time: Few things require an immediate response. Responding while caught in a surge of thoughts and feelings is often unproductive. Ask yourself how much harm was done, versus how much we are reminded of an earlier harm. Ask whether your response is rooted in misperception or potential biases towards the person due to race, disability, gender, or other marginalized identities. Consider whether their words or actions reflect a different kind of thinking or communication style, a lack of access to education, or limited access to progressive communities and norms. You can respond tomorrow, once you have collected your thoughts, talked to others, and gained perspective.

5. Don’t mob: Be aware of group dynamics. Ask yourself if you are connected to this person and in community with them. Avoid jumping into the fray when others are already criticizing the person. Do not invite others to join in and mob them. Withdraw if others join in, and kindly ask people to stay conscious of mobbing dynamics. Mobbing rapidly grows out of proportion.

6. De-escalate: Focus on de-escalating conflicts. Ask what people mean or want, and why. Ask them for clarification or elaboration if needed. Ask yourself if you know enough about the context of the situation. Distinguish the action from the person, and acknowledge that it is normal to respond defensively or aggressively to public criticism and mobbing. People are traumatized, mentally ill, and are scared of losing the little social support they have. As a result, conflict can trigger a fight-or-flight response in both those who are criticized and who criticize, which leads to escalating conflict and ends in a loss of community. Dropping the conversation to return at a later date is preferable to escalation. Often, I find it best to limit myself to three replies in conversations that aren’t constructive.

7. Respond proportionately: Responses to words and behaviours should be proportionate to their harm, and reflect a need for healing and protection rather than punishment. When we speak from a place of hurt, we can understandably but unfortunately forget the measure and impact of our response. Use language that reflects the nuances and gradations of harm rather than a coarse good and evil binary. Cutting all social support and community banishment are rarely a proportionate response, even for someone who doubles down and does not apologize. Responding proportionately is asking first and foremost what response sustains rather than dissolves life. Especially when it comes to words, it is better to under-react than to over-react.

8. Ensure support for everyone: Check in on those who are criticized and those who criticize them. Remind people that we are all in this together, and that banishment is not how we work as a community. Everyone deserves to have their needs met. Do not shun or reproach people who offer support to those who were criticized or called out. Distinguish supporting a person from enabling their behavior.

9. Hold space for people to grow: Allow space for people to be accountable, change, and move on from previous conflicts. Do not hold past behavior over people’s head, nor dig up past misdeeds to fuel present conflicts.

10. Resolve conflict and harm as a community: We must ask how our communities enable and cause hurt and harm, and find ways to transform the conditions that create them. Holding accountable, problem-solving, and conflict resolution are functions that should be taken up by the collective, not isolated and unsupported individuals.

11. Center those most hurt or harmed: Focus on supporting and empowering people who are hurt and harmed rather than on punishment. Ask what they need to be safe and integrated in our communities, while committing to support for everyone; what they need to repair their relationship to the person who hurt or harmed them. Focus your involvement on bringing people together, fostering dialogue and mutual understanding, and restoring a sense of community togetherness, rather than deciding who is right or wrong.♦

[softness-and-shattering]

I think I need to print this out and stick on a wall. Or something.

Re no 9 I think, Im not sure that I know how to resolve conflict as a community. Im not sure if I've ever seen that done honestly.

These are really good basic principles to strive for. Online communities, queer marginalized communities definitely need more understanding of teshuvah and less anger and punishment. They seem so obvious, and yet I know I have and do fall short a lot.

Yall should read this. Its not long. We too can improve. We all can. One step at a time.

I was thinking back to this essay, and thought it’s as good a time as any to re-share it:

[opentanie]

'This is why Harry Potter su-" omfg SHUT UP!!! If you didn't think the books suck, you'd be okay with trans women being stripped of their laws?

[kapreday]

After 10 years in politics it feels weird to “get out” of the rat race at this particular moment, but also anyone with even a passing proximity to politics in the US is just fucking fear mongering at this point.

This is my commitment to the next four years.

The government has no say over how I identify. I will continue being openly and publicly trans. I will not compromise my identity.

I will work for government pension jobs. I’m getting out of nonprofit work and I will teach. As I am. Without guilt.

I am not afraid of ICE, police presence, or jail. If I’m arrested, I’m arrested. My community will bail me out, and my knowledge of US law is more in-depth than any cop.

I will not support fear on either side of the political fence. “You should be scared of republicans” from Dems has the same impact as “we will legislate you out of existence” from Reps. You’re likely to get a punch to the face for either statement. I’m not scared to be myself, so shut up and help or get rekt.

My autonomy is not up for debate.

I have no guilt over not voting Kamala, no fear over the next 4 years, and no patience for people telling me politics is more important than the people living in it. People lived happily through the fall of Rome, and goddamn me if I’m not manifesting happiness through the end of capitalism.

[beemovieerotica]

struggling with how to word this, but putting it out there anyway:

i can fully understand the posts on here from a lot of americans being tired of "vote blue no matter who" posts when the #1 thing that people are constantly (and sometimes only?) addressing is how the republican party is going treat trans/queer people if elected.

it's part of an unfortunate pattern of prioritizing the effects on a demographic that includes white + upper class people, when people of color and those in the global south are actively and currently being killed or relegated to circumstances in which their survival is very unlikely

it is genuinely exhausting to witness this, and i was also on the fence about even participating in voting because i a) felt like it didn't matter and b) every time i voiced being frustrated with the current state of the country, white queer people would immediately step in with "but what about trans people!" -> (i am mixed race trans man)

and i say this with unending patience toward people who do this, because i know that it's not something they actively think about. but everyone already knows how the republican party is going to treat queer people. you are probably talking to another queer person when you bring up project 2025. the issue is that, for those of us who aren't white, or for those of us who are but who are conscious of ongoing struggles for people of color worldwide, the safety of people around the world feels more urgent than our own. that is the calculation that's being made.

you're not going to win votes for the democratic party by dismissing or minimizing these realities and by continually centering (white) queer people.

very few people on here and twitter are actually talking about issues beyond queer rights that concern people of color, or how the two administrations differ on these issues instead of constantly circling back to single-issue politics. this isn't an exhaustive list. but these are the issues that have actually altered my perspective and motivated me to the point of committing to casting a vote

the biden administration has been engaged in a years-long fight to allow new applicants to DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, the program that allows undocumented individuals who arrived as children to remain in the country) after the Trump administration attempted to terminate it. the program is in limbo currently because of the actions of Trump-backed judges, with those who applied before the ruling being allowed to stay, but no new applications are being processed. Trump has repeatedly toyed with the idea of just deporting the 1.8 million people, but he continues to change his mind depending on whatever the fuck goes on in his head. he cannot be relied on to be sympathetic toward people of hispanic descent or to guarantee that DREAMers will be allowed stay in the country. biden + a democratic controlled congress will allow legal challenges to the DACA moratorium to gain ground.

the biden administration is open to returning and protecting portions of culturally important indigenous land in a way that the trump administration absolutely does not give a fuck. as of may 2024, they have established seven national monuments with plans to expand the San Gabriel Monument where the Gabrielino, Kizh / Tongva, the Chumash, Kitanemuk, Serrano, and Tataviam reside. the Berryessa Snow Mountain is also on the list, as a sacred region to the Patwin.

i'm recognizing that the US's plans for clean energy have often come into conflict with tribal sovereignty, and the biden administration could absolutely do better in navigating this. but the unfortunate dichotomy is that there would be zero commitment or investment in clean energy under a trump-led government, which poses an astounding existential threat and destabilizing force to the global south beyond any human-to-human conflict. climate change has caused and will continue to cause resource shortages, greater natural disasters, and near-lethal living conditions for those in the tropics - and the actions of the highest energy consumers (US) are to blame. biden has funneled billions of dollars into climate change mitigation and clean energy generation - trump does not believe that any of it matters.

i may circle back to this and add more as it comes up, but i'm hoping that those who are skeptical / discouraged / tired of the white queer-centric discourse on tumblr and twitter can at least process some of this. please feel free to add more articles + points but i'm asking for the sake of this post to please focus on issues that affect people of color.

[ciel-of-vault-111]

Fuck it

Notes game

Limit 3 notes per person Notes cap is now 10

I’ll try my best to follow up on this with results but I may forget

10 notes: touch grass DONE

30 notes: try and care abt my schoolwork IN PROGRESS

50 notes: get more sleep DONE

100 notes: come out to my extended family IN PROGRESS

120 notes: find another reason to live (I have 2 rn and desperately need more) DONE

150 notes: engage more with my irl friends DONE

200 notes: get over my fear of clickers (long story) DONE

300 notes: stop hating myself IN PROGRESS

SECRET GOAL UNLOCKED!!! 420 NOTES: I’ll eat a weed or whatever ppl do idk I don’t get high (this is a joke for the record) DONE

500 notes: ascend to the heavens and rain hellfire upon my enemies (this is a joke I don’t think we make it this far) DONE

690 notes: Nice DONE

1000 notes: become god DONE

KNEEL BEFORE YOUR NEW GODDESS!!!

THE RUTUAL HAS BEEN COMPLETED!!!! NOW IVE ASCENDED BEYOND THIS MORTAL PLAIN (thx to everyone who helped me get this far you all are incredible and I am forever indebted to you)

STRETCH GOALS (adding these bc I wanna keep the game goin it’s rly fun for me)

1100 notes: start planing to take over the world of gods DONE the plan has been formulated

1200 notes: kill the first god and take their power DONE he didn’t even see it coming >:3

1300 notes: kill the second god and take their power DONE soon I shall ascend

1400 notes: kill the third god and take their power DONE new power flows through me

1500 notes: use the power of the slain gods to gain domain over everything and rule as god-queen of the universe DONE now bow before the god queen of the universe >:3

(It would be so funny if I got this far)

MORE STRETCH GOALS BC WHY NOT

1600 notes: transcend the fabric of existence DONE I see all now… e v e r y t h I n g

1700 notes: start a new religion centered around worshiping me as god queen of the universe DONE they truly adore me >:3

1800 notes: use my godly abilities and swaths of followers to prevent the events of March 18 2027 from transpiring DONE The leader of the revolution is safe from the queen of the British Empire part 2

1900 notes: use my power to grant godhood to my favored mortals (all my mutuals) and my chosen companion (my gf) so we may live forever as the new pantheon of gods DONE@tomhiddlestonsangel @toogaytofunctiondangit @toppettehat @here-queer-drowning-in-fear @trans-fem-menace @perfectfangirl @trans-fem-menace @andychaosblog y’all are gods now :3 welcome to the club

2000 notes: make a new planet at the end of everything to call home and live out the rest of eternity with my gf and my army of devoted followers. This planet’s name shall be determined by one of your suggestions (I chose what I think is funny) DONE!!!! Omfg I actually got this far lmao I never thought I would

2500 notes: I make this into a comic or smth like that :3

[soloorganaas]

the marauders fandom is not the reason terfs brought about a deeply transphobic and lesbophobic supreme court ruling in the UK. i’m going to be very clear about that because it’s something this fandom sincerely needs to confront

the ruling itself was written based on a deep misunderstanding of trans, nonbinary and lesbian identity that stems at least in part from a basic lack of british social education and discourse on lgbtq issues. jkr did not cause that. she is one of many right wing bigots capitalising on it and this case specifically only came about because she put £70,000 behind it

that wealth is based off a franchise which became a household name nearly three decades ago. that franchise is sustained because harry potter is ingrained in popular culture worldwide. it’s the families who flew 4000 miles to take their kids to wb studios. the vast majority of the world does not hear about hp or engage with it because of the marauders fandom

i do want to be very clear about that last point, because its a different issue from whether someone is personally uncomfortable engaging with hp in any way or whether engaging with it affects people in your community. that is a different kind of impact, but the discourse in this fandom is repeatedly blurring it with the broader impact on lgbtq people in britain of hp being so profitable and what jkr does with those profits

when you start talking about the harm that financially supporting the hp brand does as a personal moral issue, you are making this about you. when a supreme court ruling comes down that says very specifically that only cis women can be lesbians and five days later the discussion online is how someone feels about posting hp fanfic, you have made this harm about you. and it’s not about you. it’s about the people dealing with the reality of being lgbtq in britain right now. it’s about the ways in which that ruling directly and indirectly affects us

when i go to work each day and navigate the transphobia still rumbling around even in explicitly left wing spaces of british society i quite frankly do not give a fuck about your 100k wolfstar first war slowburn being taken off ao3. neither do the trans and nonbinary people I work with. neither do the parents of trans and nonbinary people I work with. it has literally zero impact on anybody’s lives here and has made absolutely nothing better

so what I am asking is that instead of posting on tumblr or ao3 or tiktok about the morality of being in the marauders fandom you instead share information about lgbtq issues in the uk right now and the voices of people who live here and are going through it. make people hear us. make people understand

being trans or nonbinary in the uk right now feels suffocating. it feels like a constant battle to not have your identity snuffed out. it feels like shouting into a void and being faced with this terrifying, uncaring silence. or worse. i am genuinely begging all of you to actually engage with that reality and stop being one more person talking over us

[floral-ashes]

Always worth re-sharing this.

[hollowstarchaser]

Sorry but this idea that the marauders fandom is "responsible for keeping Harry Potter relevant" is so out of reality for me

the majority of the people that go to give more money to JKR have never read a fanfiction in their lives, and they probably don't even know about what she does on twitter or don't care about what the authors of the books they read do or are just indifferent or hate us trans people so they don't give a fuck and continue to engage with the official world of hp.

I understand wanting to personally step away from the fandom because she's such a piece of shit that you just don't want to engage with anything she started, but to try to guilt trip fanfic authors seems a bit much and also out of anything based in reality as I said... the cultural influence of Harry Potter is not based on the gay fanfictions online, that franchise has whole themes parks for it and a whole TV show that is gonna be promoted heavily, be serious! the problem is not the fanfictions online, she's extremely rich she's gonna keep promoting her works and lots of people aren't going to care about what she does or they may even start supporting the books only because she's transphobic

I feel like instead of trying to shame queer and trans people that write fanfictions and made up their own version of that world and made it the most queer version they could create, we should focus on shaming the politicians and judges that let themselves be bought by transphobic pieces of shit and also those politicians that are not speaking out about it??? while I do think we should absolutely also keep boycotting jkr by not giving her more money and I've been doing this for years since I learned what she really thought, at the end of the day the politicians that make the rules hold the real power and I feel like we get distracted by shaming each other instead of focusing on the main problem which is the governments in power... we should think more about going to protests and pestering THEM with our disappointment

Idk I find it ridiculous to be harassing other queer people because of this, it's just more pointless hate and infighting that doesn't bring anything positive! from what I've seen most of the marauders fans have been actively against her, have not interacted with stuff that gives her actual money and are trying to boycott her by not buying official merch etc etc they are way more aware of what she does than random normie fans that keep buying harry potter themed shit around the world... Exactly because the marauders fans are mostly queer people that honestly made up a whole other universe from what I consider just a smidge of her input at this point. I really don't think it's a fair assessment to say they're responsible or even "the main reason why Harry Potter is still alive"... That's just a lie

[unhingedromione]

As a trans person, I am never, ever, ever giving up Harry Potter. And our fandom isn't going anywhere. Fucking deal with it.

Around this time last year, when JKR made some stupid comment (totally forgetting which one, there's just been so many at this point), I wrote a defense of Harry Potter fans' decision to remain in the fandom that essentially boiled down to this: giving up this fandom means giving up our people. In the wake of JKR's horrendous role in the anti-scientific UK Supreme Court ruling conflating sex with gender, this sentiment remains exactly the same.

I don't begrudge any HP fan who can no longer engage with JKR's IP due to this vile development. But I remain loud and proud in my support of the ✨community✨ that Harry Potter has brought together. As I mentioned in my last post, this community is not only full of the funniest, nicest, cleverest, and most creative people I've ever met in my life, but it is also the most diverse I have ever been a part of — and as an extrovert and community organizer who has lived in four different countries and speaks three languages, I have met a shit ton of people and been a part of lots of communities, significantly more than the average person. You are out of your mind if you think I am going to turn my back on the community that has been so critical to my survival as a queer, brown, neurodivergent, depressed, burnt out, poor Muslim femme in this capitalist, fascist hellscape. Day in and day out, my friends and I are pushing forward some of the most powerful narratives about queer, trans, and colonial liberation that society has to offer, which will have ripple effects on media and pop culture in the time to come (as is the nature of fandom). Nothing JKR can do or say will take that away from us. Nothing.

So to everyone who wants to claim that we're being transphobic for FREELY engaging with JKR's IP and doing things with it that would make her combust — that we're transphobic for wanting to keep this beautiful, generous community in tact — I not so kindly ask you to fuck off and leave us the fuck alone. You resist your way, and we will continue to resist in ours.

[dostoyevsky-official]

not only did the NYT propagate anti-trans stories feeding today's EO ban and refuse to acknowledge elon's nazi salute, they went vichy-media mode by banning paul krugman from the op-eds:

Last month I retired from my position as an opinion writer at the New York Times—a job I had done for 25 years. Despite the encomiums issued by the Times, it was not a happy departure. [...] I believe that the story of why I left says something important about the current state of legacy journalism.

[...] During my first 24 years at the Times, from 2000 to 2024, I faced very few editorial constraints on how and what I wrote. For most of that period my draft would go straight to a copy editor, who would sometimes suggest that I make some changes — for example, softening an assertion that arguably went beyond provable facts, or redrafting a passage the editor didn’t quite understand, and which readers probably wouldn’t either. But the editing was very light; over the years several copy editors jokingly complained that I wasn’t giving them anything to do, because I came in at length, with clean writing and with back-up for all factual assertions.

This light-touch editing prevailed even when I took positions that made Times leadership very nervous. My early and repeated criticisms of Bush’s push to invade Iraq led to several tense meetings with management. In those meetings, I was urged to tone it down. Yet the columns themselves were published as I wrote them. And in the end, I believe the Times — which eventually apologized for its role in promoting the war — was glad that I had taken an anti-invasion stand. I believe that it was my finest hour.

So I was dismayed to find out this past year, when the current Times editors and I began to discuss our differences, that current management and top editors appear to have been completely unaware of this important bit of the paper’s history and my role in it.

[...] In 2024, the editing of my regular columns went from light touch to extremely intrusive. I went from one level of editing to three, with an immediate editor and his superior both weighing in on the column, and sometimes doing substantial rewrites before it went to copy. These rewrites almost invariably involved toning down, introducing unnecessary qualifiers, and, as I saw it, false equivalence. I would rewrite the rewrites to restore the essence of my original argument. But as I told Charles Kaiser, I began to feel that I was putting more effort—especially emotional energy—into fixing editorial damage than I was into writing the original articles. And the end result of the back and forth often felt flat and colorless.

One more thing: I faced attempts from others to dictate what I could (and could not) write about, usually in the form, “You’ve already written about that,” as if it never takes more than one column to effectively cover a subject. If that had been the rule during my earlier tenure, I never would have been able to press the case for Obamacare, or against Social Security privatization, and—most alarmingly—against the Iraq invasion. Moreover, all Times opinion writers were banned from engaging in any kind of media criticism. Hardly the kind of rule that would allow an opinion writer to state, “we are being lied into war.”

I felt that my byline was being used to create a storyline that was no longer mine. So I left.

That’s my story. What are the broader implications?

[...] What I felt during my final year at the Times was a push toward blandness, toward avoiding saying anything too directly in a way that might get some people (particularly on the right) riled up. I guess my question is, if those are the ground rules, why even bother having an opinion section?

[...] On a somewhat different issue, it became clear to me that the management I was dealing with didn’t understand the difference between having an opinion and having an informed, factually sourced opinion. When the newsletter was canceled, I tried to point out that I was almost the only regular opinion writer doing policy. Their response was to point to other writers who often expressed views about policy, economic and otherwise. I tried in vain to explain that there’s a difference between having opinions about economics and knowing how to read C.B.O. analyses and recent research papers. It all fell on deaf ears.

[zybilna]

Honestly there's been a lot of praise in general for Massif Press' handling of the Pilot.net discord and I'm surprised that I haven't seen arguably their best rule come up in that!

Like there's a lot of obvious good moves (shoutout to the trans pride goblin image being used as a scarecrow to keep the open bigots out), and I think this message also serves an important rule in keeping the slimier cryptofash types from trying to shut people up when they engage with the politics of the setting. It's honestly so refreshing to see a company writing games about war actually engage with the fact that war is an inherently political topic.

[messrsrarchives]

okay big talk time. in light of the UK Supreme Court ruling, i'm seeing a lot of posts about fandom spaces. i woke up to see a tiktok that says "if you write fanfic, there's blood on your hands too",,, so let's talk about it.

because there is no refuting that fandom spaces keep JKR relevant. there is no refuting that by producing any kind of media based on this franchise, we are engaging with her and we are keeping her universe relevant. we cannot deny that.

we often see people turn around and say "jkr would hateee what we write!" and that's true. that's so very true, but it isn't enough. your headcanons and your stories and your art Are Not Enough. particularly over on tiktok: if you post HP content over on that platform, you are promoting JKR. my existence in this space as a trans man is NOT an act of protest. everything else i do is, so what do we do about that?

we NEED to be talking about these things. about jkr, about her money, about her actions, about the bigotry in the source material, and if you are not in a position where you can have those conversations, then you need to be listening. because engagement with jkr is infact life of death.

and we carry that guilt. we do, of course we do. if you are somebody who hasn't yet been able to let go of this series like me, then we carry that guilt. even more so if you are a member of any of the communities that jkr has harmed - the guilt is heavy.

but,,, let me make one thing clear: this is not your guilt.

if you are not profiting her. directly, then you are carrying guilt that is not yours to carry. that guilt is hers to bear, and the lives we are about to lose are on her conscious. we have been forced, time and time again, to carry the weight of her bigotry.

but,,, we're carrying it. and i think there's a certain amount of guilt that makes us better. i think there's a certain amount of guilt that makes us more conscious human beings, and that makes us more receptive to these discussions.

you can use that guilt, you really can. you can talk. you can listen. you can educate. you can step away if the guilt gets too much. you can use that guilt for something good.

do NOT push it away. whilst it isn't ours to carry, we are not in a position where we can throw that guilt away and wash our hands of it - we are here, we are engaging, we have to accept that. if we simply pretend as though we are not, then all we do is cause harm.

because fandom spaces can do a lot of good, especially for those that jkr has harmed. fandom spaces can do so much good, but only if we are conscious of the ways in which we are engaging, and we are willing to sit and have these difficult conversations.

if i were not in the position i am in now, i would leave. i would leave this fandom space and at this point? i am in fact urging those of you are able to, to go. for your own sakes and the sakes of everyone around you.

but as someone who has been having conversations about JKR for ages? i am in no position to step back. i'm in no position to turn away and give up. not when there are so many people who benefit from these discussions and who benefit from safe spaces.

and the reason it's a safe space? it's because I Talk. because i Have These Discussions. and no matter how much i do, i am still promoting her when i go on to post a headcanon or update my fics. i am still promoting her when i engage in this space.

and there's still guilt.

don't chuck that guilt aside, let it fuel you in making safe spaces safe again.

there is absolutely no refuting that by being in this space we are causing harm. so if you are not in a position to leave this space, here's some things you can do to make it easier for everyone both in and out of it:

Listen. if you are not in a position to talk about JKR, then actively listen. actively listen, understand, process, and adapt.

Merchandise: stop posting your merch, secondhand or not. you know that you get comments asking "where did you get this!?", stop posting it. makes that small adjustment for wider good

Keep educated: on the bigotry in the books so that you aren't perpetuating it, on jkr's actions, on politics. keep educated as much as you can to make sure that you are not unwillingly causing harm in what you are doing

Block: block those who are going to the studios, who are posting merch, who are talking about the reboot, who are doing ANYTHING to support her. if you see a video? comment on it. the continued relevance of people in this space who have supported a bigot is Immense. do not allow for complacency - bigotry is bigotry no matter how many views it gets you.

and above all, hold that guilt. hold it. feel it. utilise it.

and if you are in a position where you can leave this space? then i encourage you to do so. i encourage you to Move On, and find new ventures. i encourage you to do that if you can. and if you can't, then i'll still be here to guide you through it all and keep having these difficult talks.

[pyxxiestyxx]

Alright, time for my mandatory Wellness Check, sigh...let’s get this over with.

The door opens 

"You’re late, you know the deal. You can do the Class-A cuddles for another day of independence, or you can attempt the Class-C cuddles for three."

Here in Affini Civiliz-...Compact, no one chooses to Class-C for independence. It’s better to be safe and do the Class-A cuddles for one day, rather than risk your entire life for just a few days more. "I...feojnbgofommmmmmrrrmph. O-okay, I did it, Miss."

"Good flower~. Now tomorrow, you better not be late, or you’ll be getting both as punishment."

"Yes Miss, sorry, I won’t be late next time."

In here, us independents only get drugged up cuddles once a day. One five minute cuddle is just enough to get you to the next day. But that’s the life in the Affini Compact. If you want to survive, you have to cuddle. Every Independent Noob has the same goal, and that’s to make an escape from the Compact where all the Free Terran Pros live, except most Free Terran Pros are born out in the wild.

If you’re an Independent Noob, there’s only one way out, and that is through the Temple of Cuddles. The Temple of Cuddles is the only structure in the ship that gives sophonts a ship to leave. To make it up, you have to do an impossibly hard drugged cuddle session that no Independent Noob has ever completed, and that's assuming you even get the chance to complete the course. The inside of the temple is protected by a barrier, and the only way an Independent Noob gets past the barrier is if they’ve earned a ticket. I’ve never even tried getting a ticket before, but if I’m going to rank up to a Free Terran Pro one day, I’m going to have to.

In my neighborhood, pretty much everyone has fallen into hedonism and florted, except for the guy who lives right next to me. He’s been my neighbor for five years! 

neighbor attempts the Class-C for the three days and collapses into Miss's vines immediately, starts calling her Mommy and reveals she is a trans woman; vine boom 

NO! WHY DID SHE TRY GOING FOR THE THREE DAYS!?!?!? Well, I guess I have to change my statement; I now live in this neighborhood alone. In the Affini Compact, only Free Terran Pros are allowed to break rules and engage in capitalism. For Independent Noobs, it’s strictly prohibited, and unfortunately, I found that out the hard way. A while ago, I was searching around and I somehow stumbled upon a Terran Accord Credit. No one has seen a Credit in years, since currency don’t exist in the Affini Compact, so I had to try to take it.

“Stop right now!”

Oh no, I’m done for.

"You really thought you could take that without me noticing? What, were you going to try to trade that for goods and services?"

"No, Ma'am, I didn’t try to take it. I just thought it would be super rare and I wanted to collect it."

"Stop talking, give me ten minutes of Class-A and Class-W cuddles now."

"Ten minutes of cuddles!? Okay, sorry Mis-aroo. Ruff ruff yip bark!"

"You know what? You keep monologuing when you think we aren't listening~ let’s make it fifteen."

"A-aroo?...arf...."

"You know what? Now let’s make it twenty minutes in a row. And you have to do it while wearing this floretwear, petal."

Ah, a...a p-pretty, comfy dress?? Come on. 

does 'his' punishment. 

In the Affini Compact, it should be no surprise that all 'punishments' were just more forms of love and affection, and that was the last time I ever tried doing a capitalism.

"You’re lucky you got off easy. Don’t forget, you’re at the bottom, so follow the rules. Also, schedule a meeting with your Vet for some Class-G's, sweetie."

It’s safe to say that if you’re an Independent in the Affini Compact, it’s not exactly the-

sound of door thudding, splintering

What was that?

CRASH

"Petaaaaaal~ Remember me? Your Hab AI told me you were monologuing to empty space again, and I'm afraid the clip it sent me was so adorable that I just had to come and see. Here, come try this collar on for me..."

...Oh no.

[thydungeongal]

An earnest question in regards to D&D not being queer (side note, I agree): short of having queer mascots/main characters or being called something outright queer with its title, what would an example of a queer TTRPG look like? Like, your characters being queer has a mechanical impact? The themes of the game being more in line with a queer experience? Something else I'm missing? All of that and more?

All of that and more. It's better I explain through examples:

Monsterhearts is an RPG written by trans woman with an explicitly queer perspective. The genre of Monsterhearts is urban fantasy, specifically young adult urban fantasy featuring teenage monsters in school settings. Its themes are growing up, adolescence, and queerness, and it uses monsters to explore this theme. It is thematically thus openly queer, but the queerness is also present in the mechanics, in both the Skins (the game's playable classes and archetypes) and in the core mechanics.

Dungeon Bitches (by site user @cavegirlpoems) is less coded and more explicit and it is explicitly a game inspired by D&D's genre of dungeon-crawling fantasy: it starts by accepting D&D's premise of dungeon crawling as an occupation in a medieval fantasy world and then asks who actually would end up doing that sort of thing. And the answer it comes up with is marginalized people, especially queer women, and Dungeon Bitches is about playing disaster lesbians in dungeons. The queerness is front and center and the game gives mechanical weight to the fact that the characters are outcast women living outside of polite society, and the mechanics support the bitches getting fucked up, falling in love, and other such cool dungeon activities.

Thirsty Sword Lesbians is probably the biggest name queer RPG on the market and I feel it deserves mention despite my own personal issues with it. It operates in the nebulous genre space of She-Ra and Revolutionary Girl Utena and is very much about lesbians crossing swords and flirting while doing swashbuckling adventures. It gives mechanical weight to flirting and romance as well as combat, and while I think it's quite simplistic in how it touches on queer themes, it is still engaging with queerness on some level.

And like, those three games bring the queerness to the table explicitly as part of the game text, the rules, and the buy-in. Unlike in D&D, where sometimes there's a gay elf, there really is no way to play any of the above games without a queer lens, because at that point you would be playing a fundamentally different game. In D&D the queer lens is optional and has to be brought by the players

[wormtailfest]

Tale of Tails: A Peter Pettigrew Fest

The Wormtail Fest is proud to present...

Tale of Tails: the good, the bad, and the ugly

Tale of Tails is a fest which aims to explore the complexity of Peter Pettigrew as a character, discover the flexibility of his personality outside of being the traitor, and shine the spotlight on our forgotten Marauder!

Open to anyone 18+ who wants to create art, edits or fics about Peter

Either a Peter POV, or a Peter-centric fic through any POV

Completed one-shot, completed multi-chapter fic, or first chapter of a longer fic

All themes and ratings allowed

No minimum or maximum word count

Sign-ups: May 1st-June 30th

Submissions due: October 26th

Reveals: October 31st

For more detailed information please check out under the cut!

SIGN-UP HERE

Sign-Ups

From May 1st-June 30th, you can fill out the form to sign up to create fics, art, or edits. You’ll then receive an invite to the fest Discord server! Everyone participating in the fest is required to be in the server since that’s where we’ll be sharing updates and other info, and it's where you can meet and chat with fellow fans! If you don't/can't have a discord account for whatever reason but still want to participate please reach out to us!

Creation time

Once you sign-up you'll get invited to join the fest discord server, where you can discuss your fest plans and your work, connect with beta readers, and have lots of other discussions about Peter or other fun topics.

We’ll have a check-ins over the course of the creation period to help motivate and keep everyone on track.

By the end of Sunday October 26th, you must have your work uploaded on AO3 and added to the fest collection TaleOfTails25, or send your edits to one of the mods so we know you’ve finished it, and then on October 31st you’ll post it with the hashtag #TaleOfTails25. 

Collection link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TaleOfTails25

For fics, this should be either a completed one-shot or a multi-chapter work with at least one completed chapter.

Reveal time

Friday October 31st, the saddest day of our fandom, we’ll lighten it up by posting all of your works about our favourite traitor! 

In the following couple weeks (depending on how many submissions we get) we’ll be encouraging promotion and engagement with everybody’s works as much as we can. Stay tuned for more info on that after we get an idea of how many participants we’re going to have & how best to do it.

Rules:

Fest & server rules

·   This fest & server are intended for Peter centricity. We aim to uplift his character in a community that generally forgets him/waters his character down. Any creations in exploring him further, in whatever way your creativity takes you is welcomed.

·   Discussion of JKR herself and related topics is heavily discouraged in the server so that everyone feels comfortable. This fest does not endorse giving JKR monetary support, such as buying merch or watching the HBO show, and discussion of these topics should be done elsewhere. Any statements supporting JKR’s beliefs on trans people are prohibited in the server and fest, and are grounds for immediate removal and banning from the fest. Any racism, homophobia, misogyny, or other bigotry will result in a ban.

·   Since this fest may contain explicit and dark content, it is only open to 18+ creators. You must be 18 years old at the time of signing up and joining the Discord server. If you're turning 18 during the sign-up period please make sure to only fill out the form after your birthday.

·   Follow fandom etiquette so everything can run smoothly. Don’t like don’t read (DL;DR), Ship and Let Ship (SALS); your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK (YKINMKBYKIOK)

Creation rules

·   Your works have no minimum or maximum word limit, write as much or as little as you want!

·   Your fic doesn’t have to be from Peter’s POV, but the whole story does have to revolve around him; it must be a Peter-centric work.

·   Beta readers are encouraged but not required. Co-writing is welcomed!

·   Fics must be tagged appropriately. You are required to use correct tagging for themes such as nsfw, non-con, dub-con, or incest, so that we (your mods) and you (the participants) can know what they’re reading before they start reading. Mods will reach out to you if there’s a tag you need to add!

·   Any use of generative AI is strictly banned from the fest.

Any questions we haven’t answered?

Feel free to contact us on any of our platforms!

Tumblr: tumblr.com/wormtailfest

Tiktok: wormtailfest.tot

Email: wormtailfest.tot@gmail.com

Mods: 

Sky

tumblr: lonely-parrot

discord: lonely_parrot

Alexis

tumblr: keepmycandleburning

discord: keepmycandleburning

MJ

tumblr: moonsflowerr

discord: mjeno.

Lei

tumblr: vespeelira

discord: bobothebuilder

Leo

tumblr: colourfuldesert

Pixel

discord: colourful_desert

tumblr: neonandfuckinggarbage / badmoonrose

discord: wolfdogboy