#trans person. i've seen trans women also complaining about this and they are right to be upset for being excluded too.

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

i'm sorry but actually yes it is an issue that x reader fanfictions as a genre are primarily focused on straight (presenting) relationships with primarily cis female readers. the answer is not that the cis women writing these fics are bad or should stop, but just that they should consider branching out (and i'm not forcing them to! just a suggestion of diversifying their portfolios! which they don't have to do!)! and also that other non cis female writers should be being uplifted, too, in addition to all the straight cis female reader fics.

[ask-codeearasure]

So... About that shitty Cross take that one person made....

If you've been following certain creators, even this account, I'm sure you've spotted a specific idiot going around complaining about Cross being Trans-Coded and using Republican talking points to say that it's "forced" or "doesn't make sense" and whatever other bullshit that shouldn't even be looked at let alone acknowledged. HOWEVER, instead, we are gonna sit down and talk about how the Trans Experience is so versatile and why Cross (and similar characters) being Trans-Coded is actually extremely important.

Gender nonconformity is fucking terrifying to Republicans, this is why it's been one of this generation's favorite punching bags.

If you look at the women who are tied to the Republican Party, you see a lot of hyperfemininity, so much so it's easy to tell that Barbie is considering suing them for stealing all her plastic.

Jokes aside, gender affirming care is gender affirming care and they are using the same gender affirming care that trans people have been using for years. This isn't only about nail products and cosmetic surgery, but also breast reduction or implant surgeries.

Gender affirming care however, is demonized by the right because they don't get it nor do they acknowledge that there is a range to it.

I once read a story about how one person had realized they were trans because a friend of theirs pointed out that when they had the option of choosing the gender of their playable characters in gaming, they always went with the gender they were not assigned at a birth. Example being an AFAB person constantly choosing male characters.

Though I have not finished watching Underverse this is applicable of XFrisk and XChara shoving the name "Cross" onto... Cross. They are pointing out he is not Sans despite being assigned that name since creation. Their true intentions here had cruelty in mind, but Cross made the name his own.

He is in denial about it which is applicable to how a LOT of trans people are in denial about it sometimes. Hell I remember a Right Wing talking head on Twitter who had tried to transition, detransistioned due to pressure from their family and then stayed at their assigned gender because of it and falling for the Republican propaganda.

Denial isn't just a river. It never has been.

Some people are in denial about their gender identities and sexual orientation and with the coming presidency we are going to see a rampant uptick in that statistic. With that coming, characters like Cross are needed far more.

Cross's story, as far as I've seen, is rough and follows a lot of self-acceptance and self-advocating storylines. Even when it comes to the biggest things that anyone from the LGBTQIA+ has to face, one of these struggles being the fear of rejection and/or being rejected by one's peers.

From what I've seen when it comes to spoilers is that Cross does end up being rejected by those he was close to before meeting Ink, and thus has to come full circle and accept himself by saying "I am Cross". He has to deny the name he went by in the past. He has to because if he doesn't, he'd be giving in to living in denial of who he truly is and thus be living a life of suffering for no reason than to keep others comfortable, setting himself on fire to keep people who couldn't give a damn about him warm.

A lot of Trans people have to show their rejection of their past or even the acceptance of that past to come to terms with themselves. Each person is different when it comes down to finding who they are and accepting that. It depends on the individual.

Some treat their past and their deadname as though they're a completely different person or someone who died so they could live. Think of a phoenix rising from the ashes.

Others treat it like their past self was the caterpillar where their new and true self is the butterfly.

Is it perfect?

No.

Is Jakei a perfect writer?

No. Neither are a lot of my favorite writers and franchises (I'm looking at you Riot Games and your shitty centrist takes on the worst of human history's sins).

But some of the things that imperfect writers make are beautiful and Cross is one of them. He is one of the few characters that speaks for the writer when it comes to saying "I see you, I see your pain. I see your suffering. You are not alone. You deserve to live your life the way you want to. You are valid."

But there are a few questions that the more clueless of people are going to ask.

Why bring Politics into this? And why do Republicans like the media made by progressives?

The answers are FASCINATING.

I bring Politics into this because Republicans, specifically Cishet white people, have made everything political since the beginning of time. Everything they don't like, everything different from them, everything they don't understand, and everything that directly rebels against their patriarchal idea of "paradise" is now considered "Political".

I remember a Republican had argued the dumbest thing once, and I was so dumbfounded I had to take a step back because holy shit.

Their argument was that black people enslaved each other which made their enslavement by white people their own fault.

Now if your jaw is on the floor, you already know where the problem is. If you don't get where the problem, is let me ask you something.

If that is the case, who was the one who made it all about skin color?

I'll tell you.

It was the white people (who were Democrats before the massive party switch, which makes them modern day Republicans).

Who were the ones who made having jobs all about gender? It was the Cishet white men (99% of whom are Republicans).

Who constantly demonized the LGBTQIA+ community during the Stonewall Riots? Mostly Cishet White Republicans.

Who are demonizing Trans people right the fuck now? Republicans and Pick-Me Gay people who vote for Republicans and side with Republicans thinking that the Republicans will finally accept them when they know Republicans won't fucking do it.

Being LGBTQIA+, making non-white characters, making a character a woman, it makes that character "Political", and "Political" characters are always the ones put on the spot for accusations of "forced diversity" and "perversion" where anyone with a working sense of conscience will understand this is a talking point butthurt Republicans or those warped by Republicans pulled out of their assholes looking for a problem where there isn't one.

All art, be it animation, digital art, traditional art, singing, writing, is political. They've always been political.

Do you want to know why Republicans are always bitching about coffee orders? It's because the Enlightenment era thus leading to the Romantic Era of literature was started because of coffee shops it was where all the best writers hung out. The moment they met each other and started talking to each other, the Enlightenment and Romantic Eras started taking off in full force.

It is because of the Enlightenment and Romantic Era writers we don't have Child Labor anymore. A lot of their writing brought talks of nature and the horrors of Child Labor into question. You can't talk about the history of Child Labor without talking about William Blake's Chimney Sweeper and Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Cry of the Children. You fucking can't. Without Blake and Browning we'd still have children in mines and on rooftops risking their lives to clean your fucking chimney.

And here is where we get to the why. Why Republicans LOVE progressive media.

Here is a little secret.

All shows and media made by Republicans are shit because it is all Propaganda.

I know. Shocker.

Look around.

Mr. Birchum, New Norm, Leo and Layla, it's all propaganda. It's all the same Republican talking points that they never shut up about and even then they don't know what they're talking about.

Ask a Republican what "intersex" means. Do it, I dare you.

They won't fucking know but they'll tell you that it's Satanic and shouldn't be allowed near children.

They'd never guess that it's a spectrum of natural gender nonconformity and mixed sexual/hormonal characteristics such as having PCOS or being AMAB and still having a functioning uterus. They don't care that their delusions about there only being "male" and "female" for reproductive sex options has led to medical malpractice, social abuse, murder, and erasure of intersex individuals, and the ones that do know about intersexuality diagnose it as a "Differential Sexual Development Disorder" as if just being born intersex makes someone's existence inherently wrong with an inherent need for surgical and hormonal "correcting".

Republicans like progressive media because it knows how to say something and still be well written. This is why Republicans LOVE Star Trek, Star Wars, My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, and Arcane.

It's all progressive media but it all knows how to build a world and say something. Good writers are progressive and know how to write.

Don't get me wrong there is a LOT of fucking garbage that tries to be progressive but that is a small outlier that Republicans LOVE to bring out and bash on to say that we're the ones who ruin media. They make false equivalences to try to make you stop thinking. They need stop-thinking clichés and talking points because it's all they have. But they are so fucking terrified of anything different from what is in their stupid bubble that saying "Oh yeah the champion Taliya is trans" will send them screaming and crying.

Yeah, Riot Games danced around the fact that one of their characters is Trans because they knew she'd scare off the entirety of the Republican player base. They had to hide it and use her magical girl skin to gently hint at it with "Yeah when I'm in this outfit I feel more like myself!" and the entire multi hour long Star Guardian album animation having the Trans Flag being the main pallet on everything.

I honestly wonder how many Republicans ran off when they saw THAT CaitVi scene in Arcane.

Republicans just hate anything that isn't Cis, isn't Hetero, isn't a man, and isn't white. This is why it's not uncommon to find that cishet white men are always found at Klan rallies or the modern Klan rallies which are called "Trump Rallies" these days.

This is why a lot of exhausted Democrats, Liberals, and BIPOC, Feminists, and LGBTQIA+ people have been laughing their asses off at the Pick-Mes who are getting fucked over now that they realize that surprise surprise, Project 2025 was the plan! We fucking told you so, dipshit!

This is what you asked for dumbass! We tried to warn you. You didn't listen. LESSON FUCKIN LEARNT!

Republicans like progressive shit because we make good media.

Republicans HATE anything that isn't CISHET and WHITE.

Now, am I saying all this to claim the person who made that anti-trans Cross post is a Republican, an abuser, or anything else that contributed to this systematic nonsense? Absolutely fucking not. That's an extreme statement to make and they're most likely just a very mislead kid who may or may not have been influenced by a couple of these problems, and them acting out the way they did is perhaps a reflection of how important it is to acknowledge these things even if our community is just fandom and the point is to have fun, to have a distraction from all the bad powers at play.

Either way, their actions pissed me off. Hope they learn.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Get the fuck out.

-- Ouija

[genderqueerdykes]

complaining about whiny Amab people is literally all that post is. "You don't have to fall into a sassy gay man stereotype" way to misgender and stereotype transfemmes.

I used to follow you and it makes me feel so unsafe knowing how much disdain you have for TMA people.

hello, i am a trans woman. who are you even referring to? "TMA people" is not a cohesive group of people, that doesn't mean anything. that's literally everyone. literally everyone can be affected by transmisogyny. that is not a group of people, that is quite possibly almost literally everyone. there is no cohesive group of "TMA people". like who are you even talking about here? cis gay men? effeminate cis men? feminine trans men? genderfluid people? intersex people? like who are you referring to exactly?

if you seriously think that pointing out genuine, dangerous behaviors in other people is "disdain" for them, then i don't think my blog is for you, anyway, so you are better off unfollowing. disliking someone's actions and behaviors is not the same as disliking them as a person.

this is the exact reason why i'm speaking up about issues within the transfeminine community. people seriously have gotten to a point where you literally cannot criticize transfems and trans women without being told you hate all trans women and transfemmes. this line of thinking is the exact reason why i'm writing these posts and answers. this is not okay. this is why trans men and mascs are terrified to speak because if they ever dare to say ANYTHING about transfeminine behavior, they're told they hate trans women instantly.

trans women and transfemmes are not immune to criticism. we just aren't. we've created this extremely dangerous echo chamber where Trans Women And Femmes Are Right About Literally Everything All The Time Forever And Are The Only Ones Allowed To Talk About Anything! which has fostered an environment where people tell literally everyone else to shut the fuck up about their own identities and only let transfemmes and trans women speak.

transfemmes and trans women also have to accept criticism when it comes to how we interact with other trans people. we are not special.

we do not deserve to get to walk and talk over other people. criticizing specific transfeminine behaviors does not mean you "hate" or "disdain" transfemmes. what, trans women and transfems are allowed to sit around on this website all day long and shit talk transmascs and trans men and loudly and proudly proclaim that they hate trans men, and nobody cares about how they """hate TMES""" but the second someone criticizes a trans woman or a transfemme about how they literally treat other people as subhuman and that's hating someone? trans women who literally hate trans men don't get called out for being violent and shitty, but a trans woman pointing out that other trans women are literally abusing people is "disdain for trans women?"

we seem to think on this website that criticizing tranfemmes = hating them and it's the most unhealthy thing i've ever seen.

if we create and environment where transfemmes and trans women can never be criticized, ever, we're setting ourselves up for disaster, which is quite literally where we're at now. you have to snap out of the mentality that you have to listen to every. single. thing. a transfeminine person or a trans woman says without questioning it and just accept it as fact. trans women and transfemmes can be wrong sometimes. trans women and transfemmes can be assholes sometimes, too.

what we're doing right now is pushing the idea that if you EVER criticize a transfemme or a trans woman, that you're evil and hate trans women. you are the exact reason why i am speaking up about how transfemmes and trans women are not poor defenseless little waifs who can never hurt anyone else ever. trans women are not inherently harmless because we're women. criticizing a BEHAVIOR does not mean you hate the person- you hate their actions. internalize this. stop getting instantly emotional and offended the second you see an ounce of criticism. that's not a good knee jerk reaction to have. you are terrified of open, honest conversation if that's the case.

i'm not sure how else to say it, but supporting and loving transfemmes and trans women does not mean letting us literally hurt other people and get away with it scott free. supporting trans women and transfemmes does not mean allowing us to do literally whatever the hell we want when it comes to how we treat and address others.

please feel free to unfollow if you don't like that i'm pointing out that transfemmes and trans women are literally people and are literally not immune to being assholes deserving of criticism. if you seriously think that, you are part of the problem right now. reassess how you think. "TMA people" isn't a cohesive group of people. who are you even talking about? that's such a massive group of people, i'm not even sure you're aware that "TMA people" isn't just trans women and transfemmes.

[sharkface]

I'm not really interested in getting into this much more after this post but I am genuinely so appalled and disgusted at the level of vitriol directed at me recently for saying I have been sexually harassed on and offline by LGBT people and that I would like it to stop. I have said nothing but "I don't like it when people say extremely sexual things to and about me right away, especially after I've already expressed clear disinterest" and "I don't like it when people assert that I might be of X identity to make me seem more appealing or available to them instead of just asking me" and the responses have been largely to tell me how ungrateful I am and how I should stop complaining because I'll never experience "real" harassment the way I would if I were afab. It's not one or two ignorable incidents of out of touch weirdos feeling empowered to say crazy shit anonymously online, I got over a dozen asks, I've received an insane number of messages outlining the sexual things people want with me, talking about how I'm an effeminate femboy faggot and a bottom, asking me to detail what my dick looks like, which I guess I am asking for by posting pictures of my outfits every now and again, or something? And well. This is all nakedly fucked up, right? Like, these are weird and blatantly homophobic assumptions about my character based on what appeals to the person sending the message.

I'm honestly very confused how we lost the plot on the fact that while misogyny incites more sexual harassment on women than men and men are often the ones inciting said violence because they are structurally empowered and socially encouraged to do so that does not mean that men (including cis men) cannot be meaningfully sexually harassed or assaulted. And well. Clearly we've also forgotten that gay men and bisexual men are hypersexualized and emasculated and assaulted for being gay and especially being sexually submissive or enjoying penetration(which is seen as a given, especially if you look a certain way; I don't think I've ever expressed ANY sexual preference on this blog, nor directly to people I don't know well, but people draw their own conclusions anyway), but for some reason we think all of this isn't a serious offense if another LGBT person does it now.

Like, to me this really doesn't feel that complicated and I really don't think you can "What if they're queer" or "What if they're neurodivergent" your way out of that. I fear a lot of you really do think that you belong to a demographic that strips you of the capacity for harm because you think that having little to no structural power means you also can't have ANY social interpersonal power and that's an alarming precedent to see on the rise among people who somehow still consider themselves radical human rights activists. Like sincerely some of you just will not take responsibility for yourselves no matter what and you dress it up in all this unrelated unjustified cherry picked theory that says you're fundamentally good and any harm you cause is just the collateral of radical self love or something and it's fucking scary. "LGBT people are not inherently predators but this narrative is used to oppress them thus accusations of sexual violence towards them should be examined carefully" and "LGBT people are still capable of being deeply cruel and terrible to each other" are concepts that should not be controversial to anyone but you are all overcomplicating it through bioessentialist pseudofeminism that exists not to combat structural violence but to give yourself a pass for playing into it. You are ceding ground on the absolute most basic gay and trans rights and feminist concepts in the name of fixating on inactionable niches of vibes-based discourse that absolve you of responsibility for your actions and it makes you unsafe to be around.

You are not a radical, you are not a community pillar, you are a hypocrite and an active participant in the endangerment of other LGBT people. Overall, please get fucking real, abandon your emotional need to win arguments online and prove how pure you are at any cost, and start looking at the things that actually happen in the world around you and protect people from THAT instead of acting like everything everyone does should loop back around to making you feel good. And for the love of god. Stop meekly trying to fuck strangers in their inboxes and getting all guilt trippy and defensive and angry and continuing to push for reciprocation when they clearly aren't interested in you. It's not any less fucked up just because you're not a cishet dude.

[i-prefer-the-fictional-world]

This is something I'm very hesitant to talk about but it's constantly on my mind, it has been for years now and I feel the need to let it out somewhere.

We live in a very, very deeply mysogynist world. Misogyny is something every woman (and trans/NB people) regardless of race, ethnicity, nationality, sexual orientation, wealth, power or privilege experiences almost on a daily basis. Some are harmed by it far more than others but no one is completely un-harmed. It is horrifying and cruel but also normalised, and there are so so many people out there who are looking for any and every excuse to justify the misogyny.

Some of them stick to the old tried and true wokeness ruining stuff narrative, but others have started adopting something far more gross. It's the 'women can be abusers too' narrative.

Let me be clear yes of course I know that women can indeed be the abusers. What I'm talking about here is the weaponization of this phrase. Men use this narrative to hide their own abuse and use DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) to make their victims look like the bad guy.

We (and I'm not excluding myself from this group) so desperately want to believe that if a woman has enough wealth and power and privilege she could become immune to the harm misogyny causes, because if people like taylor swift and Blake Lively are not immune to it then what chance do rest of us stand?

So we are sometimes a little too eager to believe that women are indeed lying for fame and fortune. Actually feminist make lots of genuine efforts to be as considerate and as inclusive of men as possible. We desperately want to believe that any man we like is a good feminist man. And the bar is so low for that. So many men will say and do a fraction of what most women do and still be praised for being feminist. I can't help but think that 'women can be abusers too' often gets used as a replacement for 'she's a gold digger' or 'she's making false allegations to ruin his life'.

There is an assumption that it's just natural for men to be a little misogynist at the start so we are far more accepting of their change and growth. But God forbid a woman comes across as mean in an interview. Also while we are on the topic how many times do we hear men being mean in interviews? Is it just me or the word mean is used for women far more than it is used for men?

White feminism is another term I've seen being used a lot in the USA and western world in general. Most of the times I've seen this phrase pop up is when a rich white woman is talking about various forms of misogyny she has faced. I'm well aware that white feminism is indeed a real harmful thing but even this term is used as a weapon to dismiss misogyny rich white woman faces. It always sounds like what you been through is not a big deal, misogyny is not a big deal, there are more serious/ real issues in the world so stop complaining about this non issue. Someone has it worse so you have no right to complain.

I've personally seen this argument I've seen used against Taylor Swift a lot. I'm not American or white or straight and yet I find myself relating to her experience so often. So it always baffles me because how is her talking about her personal experiences alienating to women of colour? The reality is all women face misogyny in all sorts of ways and pointing to a woman's privilege to dismiss the misogyny she faced is just one of many many tactics. I guarantee you that your favourite non white, non straight, non american female celebrity or you know literally any random women that you know, (and most likely you yourself), also has their experiences dismissed only the wording of it was a little different.

My point is saying all of this is please don't fall for it. Even if the woman is the richest, whitest, meanest, most privileged bitch, take everything negative said about her with a grain of salt and if she is talking about abuse or sexual assault put your feelings aside and believe her.

[transmascpetewentz]

Moving The Goalposts: Infighting, Exorsexism, and Transandrophobia

I want to start this off not by getting directly into the meat of my theory, but instead by showing all of you a post that I came across today that illustrates exactly what I am talking about when I say that transandrophobes, and specifically TEHMs in this case, move the goalposts in a way that causes infighting within the trans(masc) community. This is a post by a pretty well-known TEHM whose blog I've been watching for a while.

What Jackson is doing here seems pretty obvious on the surface. He's making fun of nonbinary people who were AFAB because he perceives them as fakers and/or trenders. However, when you take a look at some of the other things that he believes, you realize that it just isn't that simple.

This is a post by one of Jackson's mutuals on here. If you don't know what some of these phrases mean, "trans heterosexual" refers to gay trans people (in this case, it's likely focusing on transmascs, but this rhetoric harms transfem lesbians too), and "trans homosexual" refers to straight trans people. What lavenderlad is trying to do is infantilize non-straight trans people, acting like we are complaining about nothing (maybe hysterical, even) for pointing out the oppression that we face from cishets and cis queers alike.

But it goes even deeper.

This right here is a very interesting post, specifically because lavenderlad seems to have changed his tune completely. As opposed to infantilizing us like in the previous post, he has now switched to transandrophobic conspiracy theories about how we are apparently some sort of dominant societal force despite being less than 2% of the population. My antisemitism radar is going off right now, too, because this sounds suspiciously like your average antisemite talking about Jews. He went very quickly from treating us like we're little girls who can't do anything to treating us like evil, scary men who are trying to invade his space.

He moved the goalposts because it was convenient for him at this moment to contribute to the oppression of gay trans men.

To elaborate, there's a specific type of transandrophobia seen in these circles that Jackson and lavenderlad are using. They are applying both maleness and femaleness to us. They infantilize us like we are women, and use our perceived femininity to justify gatekeeping us out of their spaces, while also using very common anti-gay male and generally anti-marginalized male stereotypes such as us being inherently aggressive, invaders, our bodies disgusting, etc. It's exorsexism, plain and simple.

And I feel like these posts show us how transandrophobes and transphobes in general can cause infighting within the trans community. A feminine nonbinary person might look at Jackson's first post and go "see! trans men have so much better than me!" but in fact, trans men, both binary and nonbinary, aren't actually treated any better. The grass is not greener. Trans men who try to conceal our birth sex and/or transness are considered liars, trying to invade spaces we don't belong, and more; but trans men and transmascs who do not try to pass, who don't try to conceal our transness, are accused of being "not really dysphoric."

Do not be fooled into thinking that transandrophobes would like you better if your gender expression was different. They don't want trans men to be displaying our transness, they don't want us to go stealth, and they don't want anything in between. They want us to be cis. Do not argue with your trans brothers about who society hates more; because society will see you as whatever will prove a transandrophobe's point. Address the root problems of patriarchy and transandrophobia instead of letting infighting eat us alive.

[velvetvexations]

anon really went Ah a trans woman who isnt skinny or hairless or feminine and doesnt want to be (thing that can also be true for cis women) clearly this must be a man. anyway (horny voice) wow you are a foot taller than me

I sure am~!

I don't know if it's your blog aesthetics or your kinks or your outspoken opinions on trans rights that gets me the most but i have a huge crush on you for all of the above

I'm a gift.

The way some of the trfs you reblog talk about "tmes" just sounds so much like the way a lot of incels I've seen talk about women, and it still makes me double take sometimes. I don't have an eloquent explanation of how exactly, but the vibe is just so similar to what I saw as an edgy teen on 4chan and it's so weird to see in places that claim to be "progressive"

lotta resentment

MALL ANON HAS A TUMBLR NOW??? we got side-characters fuck yes

an ever expanding cast

came for the trf takedowns and stayed for the neato aesthetic posts hope youre havin a lovely day miss velvet

thank you!

I’m so sick of people on this website taking every opportunity they get to accuse trans men who are just talking about their oppression of being 1. A violent misogynist 2. Not even trans 3. A straight up rapist or abuser. I’m actually so exhausted.

I know anon, and I'm so, so sorry. It's tiring. Take breaks as often as you can.

TRFs saying they need to post discourse and be rancid shit because theyre doing it for "the transfems who cant" (ex, trans women of color & sex workers) sounds INCREDIBLY similar to TERFs saying they need to Post Discourse and Be Rancid because "women in third world countries cant"

it sure is

Maybe i just misread it wrong but why was that one anon implying its bad for transmen to make “trans ppl should be having crazy t4t sex?” Jokes. Is there anything actually wrong about that joke?

I think you mean person I reblogged? They were saying it was sexual harassment lmao.

I feel like a lot of confusion about terfs and radfeminism is simply because a ton of self identified terfs arent radfems but are ppl whos politics abt men arent as intense (like dog standard gender essentialism) but for a lack of a better term coopt the terf concepts around transphobia.

That's certainly true, the term is becoming rapidly diluted not just from people who call all transphobes TERFs but all transphobes calling themselves TERFs. We're still not to where radical feminism is not at the core of it, though.

Some very weird trans people in the dropout tag are complaining about how dungeons and drag queens "makes them uncomfortable" PLEASE explain to me how this is literally any different from conservatives whose reaction to drag is "icky!!! Gross!" Like??? Do they think its progressive to shit on drag queens? Do they think this is ok because they happen to be trans? They sound like Republicans!

well see transfems who do drag aren't real transfems because something something

thoughts on this applying to transfem TRFs?

Blocked so I have no clue what this says.

Re: wounded gazelle. I don't even think it's always that and on purpose. Sometimes it very very blatantly IS. But other times people feel (understandably!) hurt by the backlash they are receiving and instead of thinking "This feels shitty... but could I possibly be in the wrong?" they think "I'm being attacked! This means I am a victim and therefore correct!" genuinely and through lack of self awareness rather than planned malice. Not always easy to tell the difference though!

They are very stupid and egotistical, that is true yes.

[sapphicsvibes]

Okay then, so what do you think of groups that exclude afab people? I've been seeing tons of transfems groups being exclusionary to afab people, but I haven't seen you complaining about that before. Not only is that misogynistic, but it's heavily transphobic. So why just complain about 'afab only groups' if transfems can have anti afab groups?

Gonna try my best to answer this as someone who is not trans fem.

*also I am speaking about perisex people as a perisex person—this post doesn’t have anything to do with, nor am I speaking about intersxism*

But over the past few years, there has been a lot more overtly exclusionary language, like afab, used that often ostracizes transfems from queer spaces. within the trans community, trans women (esp indigenous and black trans fems) are the most oppressed and face the highest level of abuse, violence, homelessness, etc. When I say violence, I also mean vioelnce in the way they are treated within trans/nobinary spaces, and how terf language has become more and more acceptable to use to keep them out.

There are trans and nonbinary groups right now, who use afab as an identity and specifically list trans fems as their oppressors/enemies. These groups/people who identity with the term afab and use it as an identity usually do not want trans fems in their spaces.

And that language isn’t just exclusive to Tumblr.

I remember going to a cafe and saw a flier asking for participating for an autism study, and it’s like ‘we want queer people and women - afab only please’ and no one saw anything wrong with that.

There are afab exclusive trans/queer spaces everywhere and it is so normalized. And it pushes this idea that transfers do not belong in these spaces because they are harmful to afabs.

Meanwhile, transfems are still the most brutalized in the queer community, they still face the most homocides, cases of homelessnesss, etc. they are not represent in legislative spaces and are often denied jobs in queer places. 

The trans/queer community has adopted transmisogynstic language and in using that, has painted trans women as their oppressors and gives transfems no space or platform to feel included. 

And what’s worse is many spaces have started referring to transfems as ‘amab’ when transfems don’t even use that term to refer to themselves because transfems don’t have anything in common with most amab people who aren’t transfem — which a lot of people…don’t get…and idk why….

Anyway, with all that is happening and all that will happen with how terfy trans/queer spaces are—I don’t think it’s wrong that transfems don’t want to be lumped in with people who paint them as oppressors, rapists, and who exclude them. I don’t think it’s wrong for transfems not to want to be lumped in with people from the community who identify with a term that has literally excluded them, and a term that terfs use. With how shitty the trans, queer, nonbinary community treats them, why would they want a space where those very people who excluded them can ruin.

As a black nonbinary transmasc person….I really don’t ever shame groups that kick out their oppressors. Transfems not wanting afab people in their communities when for years, afab people have hurt them, painted these harsh pictures of them, excluded them from trans AND womens spaces while using harmful language isn't bad.

and of course, this wouldn't have been a problem if the term afab stayed in intersex spaces. if perisex non trans fem trans and nonbinary people didn't adopt these terms and misuse them, and make afab a fucking identity that people actually eqaute to being trans masc/nonbinary/ etc.

it's so funny that we have people who call themselves afab, proudly, getting upset that transfems are like 'no afabs please' and having the audacity to call it misognsytic and transphobic.

bitch, you started it in the first place!!!!

[but-a-humble-hellsite-user]

I try to avoid political (any country) tumblr for my own sanity but sometimes posts seep through the cracks, and I've noticed something.

Almost every credible exercise or lesson on disinformation, trolling, online media literacy, etc. that I've had (credible in this case meaning a research project or an institute putting out information on social media, not just a tumblr post) mentions that often trolls, bots, or proponents of disinformation will purposefully try to drive opposing sides of a debate further apart to try and prevent compromise or mutual understanding.

I'm not trying to imply that Tumblr users who post about politics are necessarily trolls or something, but many people seem completely unwilling to engage with the idea that you should try to compromise with your opponent, and would take that suggestion like an insult. Mainly progressives but I suppose conservatives do it too, I just haven't seen too many of those (it's Tumblr, non-bot conservatives here are like unicorns).

Obligatory disclaimer also that you can't negotiate with everybody. Some people are too stubborn to change their minds, some people are patently unhinged, etc.

I think of this post a lot.

Anyways this also applies to transblr and radfems. I know compromise may seem patently impossible but I think both sides have some good arguments and some completely concerning ones. (I mean, my personal opinion is that terfs can have more concerning ones, but that is only my two cents, not an objective statement about the nature of topics like these.)

I think transblr is right about the fact that transitioning and having people around you who affirm your gender is greatly freeing and makes life better for a lot of people. I also think transblr would make a better impression if we stopped basically throwing internet tantrums about Harry Potter.* (It's very telling that of the queer and trans people I know in real life, nobody actually cares as much about it as people online do.)

I think terfs are right about the fact that pushing medical transition on people who are too young and/or not properly ensuring they wouldn't regret it is a really dangerous path to go down. I also think the terf perception of sexually kinky women as 'engaging in self harm' is ridiculous. (I've always seen it framed as kink being bad because it enables men getting off to harming women and is therefore misogynistic, but I've never seen radfems acknowledge that kink can happen between two men or two women or that women can get off to harming men.)

*Obligatory disclaimer because I'll get flamed if I don't write this. I do think badly of JKR because of her in my eyes unacceptable treatment of Imane Khelif, irrespective of your stance on what she said about trans people. That's worth acknowledging in your perception of things, certainly, but transblr was complaining about HP since long before the Imane Khelif thing happened.

[molsno]

im the genderkoolaid complainer anon from earlier just saw your response- that transunity shit is soo bullshit 😭 (saying as a black person) its literally all lives matter for trans mascs. most trans men from Real Life aren't even that annoying ey're just the most insane vocal minority. i could get behind transunity if it was like uplifting trans ppl of any flavor no matter what (ex: trans mascs standing with your trans sisters when faced with transphobia/transmisogyny(noir), trans fems standing with their trans brothers when faced with transphobia/transmasc hatred then making out about it) but its just like ":/ Why are the girls getting more attention than me!!! I have it worse than them!!! [totally not bio essentialist]" It's crazy. literally most online subset of mascs. there's a reason many of the truthers r white they've never experienced or know what basic intersectionality is

I mean yeah I'm all for trans unity in the sense of sticking up for each other against transphobes and supporting each other when we're in need, but like there has to be an acknowledgement that the things we go through are not exactly the same and that there are privilege dynamics between us even as fellow trans people. I generally like to assume good faith, so I feel like some of the people who are suckered into transunitism genuinely believe that it's good-natured and don't realize that it's spearheaded by a bunch of transmisogynistic trans guys. I'd like to think that some of them can actually be shown the truth, but they need to be willing to listen to trans women first.

and yeah, you're absolutely right. I've compared it to "I'm not a feminist, I'm an egalitarian" plenty of times before but all lives matter is a great analogy too. a lot of poc have pointed out that transandrophobia truthers are mostly white, and I've definitely seen that too. it makes sense then why they all view oppression as strictly interpersonal, rather than being anything systemic.

something I've also noticed is that they use the fact that black men are portrayed as more dangerous and are thus subjected to more violence as proof that antimasculism is real. now, I'm white, and I'm fully aware that because of that I don't have the nuance to describe the causes of this phenomenon in detail, but it just seems so callous and cruel to use the violence black men face as a tool to strengthen their ideology. and in doing so, they explicitly ignore the fact that black women (and black trans women especially) are ALSO subjected to violence due to being portrayed as a threat to white cis women and white children. it's just another way that transandrophobia truthers demonstrate the biologically essentialist "afab = vulnerable, amab = dangerous" attitude that they've all internalized, which is wrong for many reasons, one of which being that afab people are only portrayed as vulnerable if they're white.

[drdemonprince]

History anon here with appreciation and a couple clarifications:

The worst thing *I* could be was a trans man, not the worst thing *anyone in the world* could be. I realize I didn't write this super clearly, so that's on me, but I was talking about the worst felt sense of identity I specifically could have. Like, being a murderer would be worse, but you don't come to be a murderer by keeping yourself up at night, wondering whether it best describes who you are. I thought I could force myself to hold a different identity, one that wouldn't be betraying the feminist values I was surrounded by and looked up to.

I didn't say anything about how my experience compares to trans women, though for the record, they were also treated terribly in the spaces that hated me, and I also stood up for and worked with them. Most of my academic scholarship has been focused on trans men because that's the area where I'm most passionate and qualified, but that's my personal work right now, not some sideways way of putting others down.

I didn't know you'd been hanging out in trans masc spaces in the early 2000s. High five for guys who survived those days.

I don't use Tumblr, so I don't have an @ to give you. This account I'm posting from? It's technically a work account I set up for a job almost a decade ago that decided it didn't want the page after all, so it's still linked to my email. There's no other way for me to reliably contact you that I know of, but if you think of something, I'm totally open.

Hey there, thanks for the clarifications, and sorry to have mischaracterized what you were aiming to convey in your first message. You have a lot of experiences and knowledge that I'd love to learn from more to the extent you are fine with sharing.

I have a friend who grew up in the SF Bay area in the early 2000s and was a trans guy then, and from them I've gathered little threads here and there regarding how trans men were seen and treated at the time (all the trans guys were expected to be bottoms, not just for the reasons that's such a Thing today, but also because in feminist spaces it was seen as the appropriate position for a trans guy to be relative to a cis woman, within the community hierarchy)... there are certainly big elements of the scene and regional differences that I know next to nothing about, when it comes to trans guys experiences at the time. I think the Midwest queer/feminist scene was probably very different in a lot of ways. It certainly was very sex negative. I'd be curious to hear a lot more about the ambassador program pushing for trans male inclusion at the bathhouses that you mentioned, and more about where you're from in general.

For all that I challenge contemporary complaining about "trans male invisibility," it really is true that gay trans men were completely excluded from the communities I was around back then, and I didn't really feel that we could exist (though I had known some bi trans guys at that time). That certainly kept me from transitioning for far longer than I otherwise would have. And I feel like I have witnessed the canonization of Lou Sullivan happening in real time here on Tumblr... even more recently than much of the advocacy that you shared about. He just was not on my radar or someone that anyone in my circles was talking about until a few years ago. But I guess it's not surprising that radfems who considered gay men to be privileged perverts weren't speaking about him. Man Columbus Ohio sucked dick

I'm not sure how best for us to get in touch, then. My twitter DMs are open too. I keep most of the rest of mine shut for lots of reasons. Funny that your account is a brand account on here...are you the Dennys tumblr account

[papirouge]

the recent 2edgy4me rounds of "um ackshually it's okay to commit infanticide/abandon an infant in a dumpster if the mother doesn't want it, what if she was scared" is like the most base lizard-brain take I've seen in a while, what's worse is it's not even the first time people have unironically put forward post-birth abortion (aka infanticide) as a practice we should view neutrally (eugh). or there are those who think it's okay for a woman to continue to do drugs even if she knows she's pregnant and thus willingly harming her developing child. and if you aren't okay with either of the above you're just a misogynist!!! stop trying to control women!!! etc. etc.

like radblr sometimes imitates male sociopathy too closely lmao another one I love is people claiming they're pro-choice but also get mad when a woman didn't abort when "she should have." umm sweatie it's her body her choice is it not? if she wanted to keep her baby what business is it of yours?? this seems like an almost exclusively American attitude for some reason, I'm thinking because the average American is so politicized and fanatical. literally cannot have a normal conversation about any of this without being called a million names and told to kill yourself, radfems on this website are more civil to trans identified males than they are to pro-life women, even liberal or Democrat or atheist pro-lifers, I respect some radfem tumblr users but most of them are just so lacking in self-awareness it's kind of pitiful

It all boils down to radfemistan biggest ideological inconsistency that every choice women make should be critically instigated (shaving, plastic surgery, make up, etc) UNTIL it comes to abortion. Either women have to question every of their choices, or they don't.

Oh, and I might get a lot a shit for that but IDC : the growing trend of women to defend abusive women under the dArvO thing is crazy and they all come off as abusive psycho themselves using coping textbook psychology gotcha to excuse their destructive personality. IDC what radfem say patting themselves in the back for not making fun of Amber Heard (congratulations for being a... decent human being??) they were the first to harass, and bullying pro Depp WOMEN (calling them "Deppford wives"). They even rejoiced when it's been revealed a girl who was pro Depp killed herself (don't know if it was related to her bullying).... Everytime I see a dumb radfem/feminist quote that "Chateau Bunny" xitter girl I get major red flag because that batshit crazy chick was full on invested into those bullying campaigns targeting (young) girls whose only crime was defending Johnny Depp. Bunch of deranged no life witches....

I'm absolutely not here for their dumb historical revisionism of them acting like they were the only one to stand for "women" when they were in the socials streets harassing women for thought crime. They were there to defend a hot blonde millionaire woman from defamation allegations they somehow projected into - that's all.

You're absolutely right about feminist oddly having a bigger commitment harassing fellow women than men. There were plentiful pro Depp moids, as far as a I know.

I understand there's no "perfect victim" and that you can violently react to violence inflicted to you firsthand, but what I don't understand is that they act like this shit was a prerogative of women. I'll never forget how those feminists were like "there's no perfect victim" to defend Amber Heard .....while dragging all the nasty shit Johnny Depp did decades ago to prove he couldn't possibly be a victim himself. Or because he was richer or older... Wasn't Heard richer/more famous than her ex she was infamously arrested for physical abuse? That her stans argue the openly LGBT female officer that came on the scene was lesbophobic?? And then they use the fact the ex gf withdrawing her justice complain is evidence nothing actually happened, because WE ALL KNOW DV victims NEVER backtrack when they take action against their abuser? 💀

If genders were reversed, we all know those women wouldn't go to all those hoops to defend Heard shady past, but we all know why they do that...

That's what I dislike the most with abortionist/feminist : they're so duplicitous and hypocrite you can't never rely on them to be remotely consistant on the broad scale. I'm absolutely not surprised a bunch of them turned pro white supremacists when it came to kill Palestian women bc it was an opportunity to kill "rapists Muslims".

They have the same destructive mindset with their anti tra obsession, now rubbing shoulders with know racists rightoids known to not give a shit about women's rights unless it comes to shit on (alleged) trans people. It was first Kiwifarm and now xitter bluecheckmarks muskophants they screenshot as gender"expert". We are in the trenches.

[genderqueerdykes]

Same anon that talked about the former homo/transphobe thing.

Man, I'm interested in doing anything to my body but I really want one of this little moustaches that cis women are capable of having. Idk why my mom complains of hers I would kill to have that rn.

To have a woman's body and to yet have a moustache has gotta be greatest blessing I could receive as a bigender person :)

Do I have to take hormones for that or smth?

thanks for stopping by again!

you know, sometimes it's a coin toss. some people end up developing those mustaches regardless of taking HRT- you may have a chance to develop that as you age, but typically, testosterone is needed to help facilitate facial hair growth if it's not already happening. you may be able to take a fairly low dose and still develop that! i have heard from a lot of people that mustaches tend to fill in last out of all of your facial hair, which i can confirmed happened to me. even though i was on testosterone the entire time, my mustache only grew in on the corners of my lips and never really filled all the way out until i was around 30 or so. i've heard people say that a lot of folks mustaches only start filling in until they're 25 or older. that might be anecdotal, but i have definitely seen people develop mustaches as they age

this is a question for my followers: i've heard of people using topical DHT cream to help facilitate certain effects of HRT without getting them all- i've heard about people using DHT cream for bottom growth- does this help with facial hair growth, too? or should this anon look into topical/injectable testosterone?

hope we can get you some more answers! i'm glad that you love that, i also love when women have mustaches. i've always seen it as a very cool thing. i know a lot of women are shamed for it, but i think women should be allowed to grow facial hair freely, especially if their body naturally produces it without any intervention. thanks for stopping by again! if we get any more info for you, we'll be sure to publish it!

EDIT: some kind folks have told us that a lot of trans men and transmascs used topical minoxidil!

it is commonly sold under the brand name "rogain"! i highly recommend taking some time to look into it and see if it's right/safe for you! i've also been informed that it is extremely toxic to cats, so if you have cats, exercise caution, as even small traces of the residue can make them sick. good luck!

[boreal-sea]

why is it that any time someone tries to talk about issues men face there's always someone else responding with "so you think systemic misandry exists?? that's misogynistic" like..... the only people i've ever seen act like systemic misandry exists are those white straight cis able-bodied traditionally masculine men complaining about how women having rights oppresses them and if you can't differentiate between that and a man of color/queer man/disabled man talking about his experiences, that feels like a you problem, honestly.

Because many people are only capable of thinking of things in binary opposites: "If X is true, then Y must be false". Including those cishet white men. They think that if women get rights, then men must lose rights for that to happen.

It's how people somehow managed to turn "trans men face oppression" into "So You Think Trans Women Oppress Trans Men!?!?!?!"

For some folks, they just can't imagine a world where two things are true at once. They can't imagine a world where women are oppressed for being women, and where certain kinds of men are also oppressed for reasons linked to their manhood.

Because to them, if all women = oppressed, then all men = oppressor. But if you say "ok, but some men = oppressed", they think you must mean "ALL WOMEN = OPPRESSORS!"

No. All women are oppressed for being women, and also, some men are oppressed for an intersecting collection of identities that intrinsically includes their manhood.

And it's incredibly difficult to talk about nuanced subjects to people with binary, on/off, black and white, everything-or-nothing thinking. It's not impossible, it just involves a lot of backtracking, excruciatingly repetitive clarifications, and luck that the person you are talking to will stop knee-jerking at everything you say and actually think about it for two seconds.

[pondscummy]

the "also sick" comment isn't like "btw I'm SICK, how dare you not know" it's me saying I'm sick like how 2/3 of my roommates are

but like I'm so;;;; it feels so rich that L is like wtf do you want from me about me not replying for 45 minutes when I had to beg his gf over hours and hours of texts every so often to not force me to sit in unwiped shit after my surgery bc she had openly told me she just didn't rly feel like setting up the attachable bidet after telling me for weeks she would, and I never ever got a reply from her or L ever acknowledging that they were wide awake hanging out and laughing while I was like stuck in bed barely able to move begging for follow through on a commitment they made in advance and i eventually had to spend over $100 to hire someone to come out the next day and do it for me and I had to hold my shit for hours lmfao

like L is sooooo great at couching things in flawless tumblr wellness speak but only to talk about how valid they are for not showing up for you and how fucked up it is that you MIGHT ever have a moment where you can't be 100% there w them. like idk what to tell you I've been laying in bed with a sore throat and cough and fever passing out and waking up to roll over in buckets of sweat like the rest of the house. I do genuinely get being annoyed by a lack of response but it's also right back to this whole thing about Always assuming I'm mad at them which is legit one of the only things that actually makes me mad fjdkddhk like bro I do not THINK about you when you're not acting like I'm a bomb about to blow (also, as an aside -- we all take turns buying TP and it's usually me who does it like it's not out of pocket for me to say hey you are the One person who is out of the house already rn, can you get this on your way bc None of the bathrooms have back up rolls and one is totally out and I had to text our sickest roommate telling her to use the bidet and drip dry like.... "am I the first person you asked" yes bc you are the person who makes the most sense dumbfuck. I'm not being "overly needy" toward you or whatever jfc)

they literally told me at one point that the reason they're so scared of me is that my face is "triggering" for them when I'm angry or not feeling good and puts them "back in a really bad place" they have seen my face angry literally 3 times and each time it was on my way back to my room to decompress and each time I said nothing to them other than that I was in a bad mood and I was going to go to my room. I didn't yell either I just said it normal. like I genuinely feel gaslit here like I'm this horrifying monster of a man when it's like dude sometimes people are mad I don't know what YOU want from ME!! I do all my venting here where they can't ever see it even tho we've blocked each other, I censor their name like anyone even knows who they are, I isolate to chill out and it's literally been less than a handful of times like should I fling myself from the roof??????? would that fix it???

I literally know it's bc I'm a man too. none of this was like this until my facial hair came in more and it got crazy worse after I got top surgery and they're so so vocal about how much they despise men and think men should all fuck off and die and there's only a handful of acceptable men that they've personally vetted. despite them pretty clearly having a trans woman fetish bc they only date or look at porn of trans women and they do the whole step on me mommy thing about it even tho their gf has complained like. lmfao you're just a baby te//rf even tho you ID as trans masc yourself. like that's all this even is. I'm a big (5'3") scary (spent the whole weekend w my coworkers asking if I was 12) man who's obviously going to snap and kill you all bc sometimes I *checks writing on hand* get frustrated and go lay down about it

[country-wizard]

Expression and Desires

Lately I have been feeling a sort of way

I tried on my mother's bra

I pictured it like how a boy would try on his

Mom's clothes

I don't wear bras haven't in a long time

Always sports

Mom has the weird wire ones

I didn't hate what I saw

Not in a urge or desire to transition

Back to a woman

But more of a never thought I could look 

Like that

They didn't quite fit right 

It wasn't to big but it wasn't to small

Some weird in-between 

Though I guess I don't really know how bras

Are meant to fit in the first place

Lately I found myself wearing 1 of her tank tops

Originally for a party under my button up

But also because I like how it looks

The word in my head when i see myself

In the mirror in that tank top

Butch

I wouldn't describe myself as butch any other time

I have never identified myself as 

A women who is more traditionally

Masculine

Though I used to be called a tomboy

It's a nice word but doesn't describe me

I wouldn't even feel comfortable using it if It did

I don't feel like a woman 

I don't want to be a woman 

Yet lately when I picture myself in that

tank top

Or

 wire bra 

I see a part of me I've never seen before

A hint of something I've always wanted

Femininity 

I wore an outfit once 

Tank top, sweater, and  jeans and then  i had a crisis 

I saw a person dressed masculine

Regretted dressing like that 

It was a cute outfit though and I sometimes

Think back to it

I've worn dresses I think they're rather 

Nice pretty even

They look weird on me

Sometimes I want to wear them though

I can't they look weird

I become a woman

Sometimes I stare at myself in the mirror

Before I shower 

Naked completely bare

I cup my hands over my chest and try to

Flatten it with my hands

I think about the days it'll be gone 

In bed late at night I think about having a 

Dick

I'll never have one even though I wouldn't complain

I wish it could be like my fantasies as a kid

I could have my parts and a dick 

My chest could go from flat to busty in a matter of seconds 

It will never happen

I read a lot of fanfiction

Written by queers who write queers

The amount of porn I've read with people

Bodies similar to mine yet so different

Farther along in journeys

They make me feel like I can be loved

Lately though they've been making me question

I've seen a lot of art with trans characters 

With boobs and all 

Men or not 

It makes me wonder if I can be similar 

Can i still be viewed as me with a chest of meat

They make me believe so

Yet the urge to rid of them is overpowering

Sometimes I don't want to read fics

With others like me 

2 cis men 

Not out of some sexual fantasy 

But to dream 

I align so much with masculinity

It's hard to picture me in anything but

It's why I don't align with those whom love woman 

The way other queer woman do

Or nonbinary folk who love woman

But instead I find myself drawn to men 

The desire to be a man with another 

It's one of my reasons I wish things were a bit different down there

Even though I don't truly want to become a man

Perhaps

Definitely

I don't think I'll ever know gender is weird

I don't feel like a man or a woman But sometimes

I wish I could be one 

It'd be so easy so simple 

I wish I could shape shift my body 

Not of a change of gender but a change of appearance

It makes me dysphoric when I do it with clothes 

I like how I dress I just want the anatomy to be different 

Sometimes I want the clothes though 

To feel pretty and/or handsome 

Like lace under a suit 

They should make boxers with lace hem

It'd be funny and I'd be their #1 buyer

Everything looks weird on me though

Nothing fits my shape

Yet sometimes I think on skirts

And suit pants 

I think I would like lace under suits almost as if a little surprise

A treat for my eyes not to be sexy 

But to scratch an itch I have

To satisfy a feeling 

I wish I lived alone 

Owned a wire bra

To feel like a boy wearing his Mom's dress

When she isn't home 

To wear it around my house feeling odd

Alone with nobody to judge 

Not a feeling of discomfort or happiness

But something else 

Un-word-able 

When I live alone 

I'll wear my wire bra and I'll wear my packer 

And I'll sit and feel weird 

Not bad 

Just weird

It's like pain something I can't describe 

When I get top surgery 

I'll wear my packer and my inserts for my wire bra

And I'll think 

This is just like my fantasies