#tragedy trio my fucking beloveds

[goldpilot22]

here it is! my final drawing of 2022. this took me most of december

[mcyt-trios]

PROPAGANDA:

Eclipse Federation:

i dont like them. they ruined my life. Subz and Vitalasy had already partnered in previous seasons but this one, Vitalasy ended up leaving for a few months, leaving Subz alone, and Zam ended up getting close to him after immense trauma at the hands of his former teammates. Zam has done SO many wrongs, including to Subz himself and Subz STILL took him in and made him join Eclipse Federation after Zam died 14 times in a row and got banned then revived by the same player who's been killing him all this time. And it could've been perfect but no, Zam had betrayed his previous team due to them using dupes via exploits, and now Eclipse Federation ALSO has exploits! And he decided that yeah his morals were more important than being loved! And so he murders Vitalasy when he's at his most vulnerable point, lets everyone gaslight him into thinking Vitalasy is an irredeemable evil monster who will never change, even as Vitalasy SAID he was ready to change before the betrayal even happened, Eclipse threw out their whole revenge plans because of Zam's positive influence and he just broke everything. Subz couldn't be with Zam but also couldn't see himself at Vitalasy's side, leaving him alone. Vitalasy hated Zam and yet never killed him or hunted him down, despite Zam acting like he did. And when Vitalasy left, banning himself off from the server, Zam had some time alone to think and realized he fucked up SOOOO bad. And Subz revived Vitalasy and told him to kill him. And ban him. His last wish. His Deliverance. And to make up with Zam. And Vitalasy tried, and they kind of did make up over Subz's death, but then Zam was like "actually im going to kill everyone and destroy the server now. because i want subz back and also because i always do extremely drastic things when i don't need to because i have unchecked mental illnesses i refuse to get help for". And surprisingly when Subz came back he didn't like that! And they ended in tragedy! Eclipse is fucked up. It's a trio that's always about the absence of one person, it's a team that could only happen in one timeline and it was doomed from the very start. But the love was there. It made everything worse, truthfully. But it was there. And that matters. Also as a fun fact Zam himself on twitter has referred to eclipse as a throuple, which is not canon but that's pretty funny. he also stated on stream he didn't want to get therapy because it'd ruin his lifesteal character. and there was a saga where they would "marry" (challenge lost kinda shenanigans) and zam was the only one happy about it. he's not normal. there's something wrong with him. love that for him though sorry for the block of text. I really dislike them. They're my beloveds :3

L'mantrio:

brothers in arms. nothing much to say here I'm bad at propaganda sorey

They're brothers your honor, they're the original 3 members of l'manburg, they're so underrated, they're literally my favorite ever trio

[teatitty]

I really liked you fae ideas for celtic servants. I was kinda playing with it in my head how Fionn, Diarmuid, and Cu each represent how people see the fae. Fionn represents the god like fae, the ones you pray to and who reward you for your service and are usually inhuman in a worshiping sense. Then you got Diarmuid who represents the alluring beauty that brings tragedy, something so beautiful and unique that all humans will be attracted to but few with survive the consequences of coveting. Finally we have Cú who is undoubtedly the wild unpredictable fae that does whatever is pleases whenever it pleases and is the least concerned with humanity as whole.

On that note what are some headcanons you have for any fae quirks the trio might have inherited?

I've talked a lot about their physical traits over the years [btw great job summarising what they all represent I'm surprised nobody's picked up on that part of my posting until now] but if it came down to some core Traits then definitely

Diarmuid: trickster at his core, the kind of guy who will do cartoon comedy shenanigans on you just for fun and then go 'haha anyways [snaps fingers] everything's back to normal now bye' and just never elaborate, and his loyalty of course. Many fae-human relationships only end badly bc of the humans fucking up the fae side of the equation is usually shown down-bad loyal and Dia is this with Fionn [and Cu my beloved OTP still]

Fionn: wanderlust and spontaneity. Something a lot of people forget about him is that Fionn likes travel and he likes adventure there are multiple stories in the fenian cycle that start just because he's suddenly itching to Go Somewhere or Do A Thing and just gathers everyone up to do so or, in the case of boyhood deeds, just leaves to pursue it himself

Cu: his connection to nature - he's both a force of nature himself, has a deep connection with horses [which is a very typical trait of the fae], CasterCu is literally a druid which is the most nature based class possible etc etc and more obviously his rage which is both a fae trait and a fomorian trait. Put 'em together you get Cu's infamous warp spasm fuckery lol

[snow-lavender]

character impressions centross

First impression: I actually couldn't stand them at first! I thought he was needlessly melodramatic and not a very compelling villain. Maybe part of that comes down to me being an archival viewer of S1; it seems like some of his POV from then wasn't saved. But then I started watching S2 and went ohhh. and then the prison and castle arcs happened and i went ohhhhhhhhh.

Impression now: Brain go brrrrrrr. I grab him on either side of his head and go "You. You my beloved exploration of evil and devotion and justice and redemption and love and forgiveness and family. You dumbass jackass angst-riddled sorry sack of a person. You search for love without knowing what it looks like until you do. You." Actually not my favourite Fable character, that's a tossup between Wolf and Ari, but definitely the one I have the most Big Thoughts and Feelings TM about. In case you couldn't tell lol.

Favorite moment: Might be recency bias but I think it's got to be their talk with Haley in An Oracle's Truth. The subtleties, the looming tragedy, the foreshadowing that his death isn't quite the end, i rotate it in my head like a microwave. Also literally any breakfast stream.

Idea for a story: I actually have two that i'm in the process of brainstorming! One that revolves around him and oscar post-cathedral, when the loss of innocence is inevitable and you don't know what on fucking earth to say. And another that's a wolftross hurt/comfort twoshot about nightmares.

Unpopular opinion: S1 centross isn't very interesting. Killing a bunch of people isn't compelling to me; trying to be a person again afterwards is.

Favorite relationship: Can I cheat and say all of castle trio? The three of them together work so well, emotionally and narratively. They can all serve as another one's foil and parallel at the same time and they're idiots and i love them.

Favorite headcanon: In the first part of S3, their focus on Epros was him trying to find a new god to worship. Because he couldn't in good conscience worship Enderian anymore, but he didn't know how to function in a non-religious worldview. And then Epros let them down and the whole thing fell apart.

[annasinterests]

don't look at me like that unless you mean it

prologue

|| series masterlist || main masterlist ||

a/n: i am VERY excited and nervous to finally be posting on tumblr after having it since like,, 2014,, which is embarrassing as hell to admit.. but fuck it we ball! anyways, here is my first ever fic i'm sharing on this platform. i tend to write up a lot of things but have always been too intimidated to post them, so this is me trying to get over that! also, please know that this piece is completely optional. i only wrote it to give context on the relationship reader and joel have, plus ellie as well, but you absolutely can skip past it if that's not your cup of tea, or check back in later once i post more chapters! also, please bear with me as i get used to posting and including all the necessary tags and warnings & whatnot.

word count: 2.7k

pairings: joel miller x f!reader

warnings & tags: minors dni, swearing, mentions of violence & death, canon events, strangers to friends, friends to lovers? (we'll find out), slowburnish, pining, age gap (14-ish yrs) — please tell me if i missed anything!

You'd been at each other's side for nearly seventeen years, first meeting when you arrived in the Boston QZ almost eight years after outbreak day. To say you were a hardened survivor was putting it lightly; you had endured every unimaginable loss possible. Tragedy became a constant companion of yours as you lost beloved friends and family, and you grew to know nothing but anger and violence.

At first, you thought nothing of him. He was just your neighbor across the hall, coming and going at all different points throughout the day and night. Another face in the sea of struggling people. Your paths occasionally crossed during the same shift of the same shitty jobs FEDRA assigned for a cruel amount of ration cards. You'd exchange brief nods every so often, and on the rare occasion, a mutter that was only decipherable as a greeting.

On a chance encounter beyond the walls of the QZ, you ran into him with another woman during one of your smuggling runs. You had frozen, with no indication of the kind of people they were, they could've either kept it to themselves or reported you, essentially sentencing you to death. Thankfully, a higher power had been on your side that day as the woman had concluded you weren't a threat to them, simply giving you a nod before they carried on. It was a subtle understanding that passed around you three. You worry about your business, and I'll worry about mine.

Things shifted after that.

The more you would see them, either together or separately, the more of a connection began to form. It started off small– bowing your heads at one another in passing, giving the faintest of smiles. Notes would be slipped under your door from time to time with a tip regarding stashed goods or potential dangers within the QZ and outside of it. It would be signed off by 'Tess' or 'Joel', with Tess being the more frequent sender. In return, you'd do the same, leaving helpful tips and sometimes doubling what they had left for you.

It graduated to in-person visits, primarily initiated by Tess. Joel kept his distance for the most part, despite literally living across the hall. That didn't mean that his lingering gaze went unnoticed by you, though.

Over the next twelve years, you banded together as a trio. Trust was one of the rarest commodities to come across, and you had found it in one another. Over time, your walls had come down, and you shared parts of yourself that had been long buried for years. You’d engaged in casual conversations, tactical strategies, and even light-hearted banter at times.

Smuggling operations became a team effort, though often it left you to work with Joel alone. Tess would go off on her own for recon, utilizing her expertise and connections to gather vital information, also because she was way more likely to be reciprocated in her efforts compared to Joel. Nonetheless, you formed a formidable duo, working seamlessly together to navigate the dangers when they presented themselves.

There became an unspoken understanding between you and Joel that communicated in volumes. You developed a rhythm, anticipating each other's moves and providing support when it was needed the most. A dynamic that had set your relationship apart from Tess.

Through the long nights, you both shared snippets of your lives before the outbreak. He spoke of growing up in Texas, the memories of a time when life was normal and filled with simple pleasures, like playing guitar. He mentioned a distant brother, Tommy, who was somewhere out west. He'd worked as a contractor, though dreamed of building something of his own. He spoke with a hint of regret, remembering the long hours he worked while still struggling to make ends meet. Reluctantly, he'd even shared the fact that he had a daughter, though he hardly said her name or other details. The most you learned was that he had a daughter, and then he didn't.

You enlightened him about how you lived a calm life. You grew up in the mountains, which explained your affinity for nature, and you found solace in music. You had both your parents and a brother, who was your closest ally. If one of you were doing something, the other tagged along with no questions asked. It was a month in to your last year of high school when outbreak day came along, forever fucking up your life. You recounted the graphic and harrowing moments of loss, the pain of watching your loved ones fall one by one in the span of two years. The next four years were spent traveling alone in search of a place to close your eyes without fearing that something was coming for you, whether it was alive or dead. Through whispers on the road, you heard of the Boston QZ, one of the remaining zones that retained enough stability. You didn't believe it, deeming it as something that was too good to be true after the world had been so cruel to you, but what else did you have to lose?

You still carried on your work the same, but it was clear that your relationship had shifted once again, this time more personally. He looked at you differently, like he was truly seeing you in a way no one else ever had. It showed in the way his voice was softer when he spoke to you and became overall more attentive towards you. He'd stop by your place more often, either sticking around for a few minutes or several hours. But it was in moments of vulnerability that spoke to the depth of your relationship. When you suffered serious injuries that left you barely conscious, he was there without hesitation. With gentle hands and meticulous care, he'd clean and patch you up, letting you rest your weary body against his for however long you needed.

You couldn't deny the growing affection in your heart for him by the frequent moments in which you felt a closeness that went beyond friendship. There was an unspoken intimacy, a silent understanding of the uncharted territory your hearts were treading, saying stay with me, and, why wouldn't i?

Insert Ellie into your lives. A young, electrifying girl from the Fireflies, a group you'd come to loathe.

You three had been on your way to find Robert, the dickbag that sold your guns, when you got caught in a scuffle between FEDRA and the Fireflies, being forced to flee and take an alternate route, leading you right to Marlene, Queen Firefly, as you liked to call her. Upon discovering she had your guns, she proposed an exchange: Smuggle a girl out of the QZ for the guns. You and Joel scoffed at the idea, immediately wanting to call it off, but somehow, someway, Tess convinced you both to go forward with it.

She was everything you expected her to be at first; unaware and a liability. She eyed you three cautiously, not really okay with the idea of leaving Marlene, but not having another option to go with either. In pushing towards the capitol, you reminded her of what felt like every five minutes to stay down, stay quiet, and do exactly as told as Tess led and Joel trailed behind.

After several attacks and encounters with infected, the true reason was revealed as to why Marlene needed the fourteen-year-old smuggled out: She was immune to infection. Even after the girl's explanations of finding a cure in a lab out west, you shook with laughter in disbelief. How many times had you heard this shit before? Tess, seemingly the only one to believe her, executively decided to push forward, earning disconcerted looks from you and Joel.

You couldn't have said you were surprised when you turned up to the empty capitol, the Fireflies once again proving how they were fucking unreliable as always. Your smugness quickly turned to mild panic as Tess began to have a meltdown, ultimately confessing her bite that made time stop ticking for you. Fuck.

It had been sixteen years since you last lost someone you cared about in the same way, your ability to react and process was nonexistent, so you just stood and stared as if it would disappear. With FEDRA looming beyond the doors, Tess had urged you both to take Ellie and find Tommy, find a way to get her to that damned lab.

So that's what you did.

The first few months were rough on all three of you. You faced infected, as expected, but it was harder to deal with each other more than anything. Ellie tried to find where she stood with you and Joel, wanting to help at every turn but keeping her head down to stay out of the way. You respected how she held her own and didn't take shit from Bill when stopping through his town, and how she handled losing people as quickly as she met them, like Sam and Henry. Despite her efforts, you often found Joel not letting up, only praising her once in a blue moon.

You realized it wasn't so bad after all, being with Ellie. She had spirit and faith, traits you hadn't seen someone possess in quite some time. In her presence, you found yourself rediscovering the capacity for joy and laughter, something that had felt distant and unattainable for far too long. You watched as she got to see and experience things in her life for the first time, like walking through forests; things that you had taken for granted. Her needs, before a burden, had now become a responsibility you willingly tended to, making sure she was the first to eat, drink, and sleep at all times. Each night, you watched her drift off, knowing she was protected by you and Joel and catching a feeling of a profound sense of purpose.

Stumbling into Tommy and his crew wasn't the reunion that you hoped for when fall rolled around. Ellie and Joel's relationship had taken a turn when she caught wind of him wanting to leave her with Tommy, figuring that he could do a better job, though you disagreed. Consequently, it led to her and Joel getting into an argument while you and Tommy awkwardly lingered outside of an abandoned ranch house. And though you were outside, you could still hear bits and pieces, finally hearing the name of Joel's daughter and understanding the pain that shaped his actions towards Ellie.

Upon coming to Eastern Colorado University weeks later, the Fireflies once again proved to be unreliable in staying in a fucking singular location. While you found scattered recordings that indicated them to be in Utah, you also found yourselves caught between hunters and infected, leading to yet another one of the traumatizing moments in your life: Joel falling off a second story and being impaled in the abdomen by a jagged piece of rebar. You and Ellie had managed to defend yourselves while also protecting Joel, talking to him through gritted teeth and coaxing him to move, repeating the words like a mantra.

The winter had been particularly cruel that year, leaving you short on food. You and Ellie had eventually found shelter in an abandoned lake house, securing Joel and carefully tending to him for the following weeks. Deep down, you knew Joel's body couldn’t continue fighting sepsis without proper medicine, and the thought of him dying brought you to near tears. While out hunting alone, you had run into two men. They’d traded you medicine for the deer, but not without leaving you with the eerie fact that they knew you, and knew you killed their men back at the university. You had fled back to Joel and Ellie as quickly as possible, sticking the syringe in him with shaky hands as you urgently warned her to be ready to face danger once again.

Your gut instinct had been right as the next morning you had heard the sound of people nearby, scrambling to tell Ellie to stay with Joel while you led them away and strictly emphasizing that she was not to leave. As you lured off and killed a few hunters, they unfortunately bested you, knocking you out cold and dragging you back to their settlement. You had woken up in a makeshift cage, with your weapons gone and zipties bounding your hands and feet together, as David watched you from afar, speaking to you in a tone that drastically contrasted the words he spoke. You fought through the grogginess, your mind was only set on one thing: Finding Ellie and Joel, alive. Discreetly, you had broken out of the restrictions and kicked out the gate, grabbing the broken chain and slinging it at him as you escaped.

You hid in abandoned storefronts and evaded your enemies, silently taking down the ones that drew too close with makeshift weapons and leaving a trail of bodies in your wake. The harsh snowfall made it all the more challenging, obscuring your vision and forcing you to rely on your sense of sound. When you went to strike at another body, you were caught off-guard as strong hands seized your wrists and pinned you against the wall. At the realization that it was Joel pressed against you, tears brimmed in your eyes as you threw your arms around him, thanking whatever higher power there was for bringing him back to you.

Together, you had found Ellie in a burning restaurant, rushing in to see her hacking away at David. Joel ripped her away from him, her cries and pleads tearing you apart. You fell to your knees as she wept out, taking her into your arms as Joel held the both of you, smoothing her hair and whispering soothing reassurances. It was in that moment that you realized that you and Joel had become more than just a guardian for this young girl. There was an understanding that you both would do whatever it took to keep her safe.

A feeling of disappointment had set in when Ellie declined Joel's offer to go back to Jackson after arriving in Salt Lake City. After what she had gone through, you saw that she felt an obligation to finish what brought you all together in the first place. While navigating through flooded streets, you were faced with rescuing and resuscitating both Joel and Ellie as they became trapped underwater and falling unconscious, the moments blurring together all too fast before you'd been knocked out by two Fireflies from behind.

You had woken up to Joel in a hospital bed next to you, along with Marlene. The Fireflies had set up base at the St. Mary's Hospital, not too far from where you were clocked. Through Marlene you learned that Ellie had been okay, but was immediately taken in for surgery. When you had asked how the procedure would play out, Marlene hesitantly explained that Ellie's brain was at the center of it all, and you had put the pieces together that it all pointed towards death. Both you and Joel grew angry and had protested that another way had to be possible, but of course, Marlene disregarded and ordered for your leave.

What followed in that hospital became yet another turning point in your relationship, not only with Joel, but Ellie too. You were both aware that once you killed the first person in your way, that there was no going back.

And nothing made more sense.

Not a living soul made it out of that hospital except for you, Joel, and Ellie. The chance couldn't be taken that you'd be tracked or followed. So, you returned to Jackson in one piece, and held a secret that only strengthened your bond to each other.

You had moved into the last house on Rancher Street, a decent sized home with a separate garage and fenced in yard. Joel took up the bigger bedroom upon your insistence, and the garage converted to a space designed just for Ellie. You found work in patrol, with Joel and Tommy, and administration by Maria’s side.

It undoubtedly marked a new chapter; no more traveling, no more searching, no more sleeping with one eye open. You had food, clothes, and a roof over your head, in a thriving community, moreover.

Everything had fallen into place, just like it was supposed to.

And you, Joel, and Ellie were finally safe.

Right?

if you read this far, thank you from the bottom of my heart! i hope you'll continue to stick around for their story. feedback is appreciated <3 y'all have a lovely day!

[proosh]

this isn’t entirely abt frapru but something i always find funny is when 2 characters out of a trio get together and the third person is like wtf guys :/ and feeling like the forever third wheel. except in bft’s case i always imagine spain is just jealous and wants to be their third “just once guys come on it’ll be fun :D”

this is so funny and you're so right

I do think that Fran is like, in love with Toni tbh. At least for a period of time. Definitely at least platonically, when they can tolerate each other outside of political shenanigans that always seem to be exploding between their nations. This makes for some... Weird and very fun dynamics when Fran's psychosexual rivalry with Gil kicks off and potentially reading the outbreak of the Franco-Prussian War possibly being Fran losing his shit over Gil flirting with Toni too openly... Just a lot of fun weirdness there that, in the modern day, leaves some undisclosed simmering Problems when Gil and Fran fall into bed again and don't seem to be getting out of it any time soon.

For specific Frain stuff I absolutely recommend my beloved brother in FraPru arms @grapeautumn who knows a lot more about the dynamic than I do <3

In the modern day I do think they're a trio with some Friends With Benefits going on but. Let me tell you. Toni was SO assmad when he found out they were like, immediately back to sleeping together after the fall of the Wall. Tragedy of tragedies!

(He gets over it for the most part. Fucks away the pain with Port. It's fine, and they're mostly all buddies in the modern day.)

[greenerteacups]

miss ma’am gtc!!! may we pick your brain about:

- your five favorite harry potter characters

- your five least favorite harry potter characters

- five scenes from the harry potter books that altered your brain chemistry

- five scenes from the harry potter movies that altered your brain chemistry

thank you, i love u so much!!!

oh SO fun thank you for the question!!

(1) top five blorbos (in no particular order): 1. Hermione Granger (I lied about the order. She's first). She's SO. She exists at the perfect spot on the smart/stupid friendly/mean optimistic/pessimistic continuum, she's so rich. She changed me as a person when i was 11 years old and I would not be here without her, probably. The others, actually in no particular order, are: Draco Malfoy (sad little rich boy doomed by narrative but also the Narrative is social conditioning and he had free will the whole time, fucking gut-punch, mwah, the best of both kinds of tragedy) and Sirius Black (tasty, complex, brilliant rendering of a grown-up antihero who worked through his problems but still has Issues, arguably JKR's best character work in any book comes in Sirius in OOTP where he keeps comparing Harry to James, it's fucking heartbreaking). Also Remus and Ginny. (What if you forced yourself to get over your celebrity crush despite him Living With You basically 24/7 and then you became a popular confident athlete loved by all for being ferocious in defense of the vulnerable, then your celebrity crush fell head over heels for you anyway. what then?)

(2) least favorite blorbos. I think about these in the "opposite of love is indifference" type of way, because I love a character that I can hate. Like, Umbridge is awful, but I could, in theory, explain any given action that she takes by referencing her motivations and context. But I struggle with characters I don't understand, or worse, that I don't believe. Namely, Peter Pettigrew, whose betrayal kicks off the whole story to happen and is never explained. So you get all these Marauders fics where this cool, era-defining foursome is actually just The Marauder Trio Plus This Guy I Guess, but his betrayal would not have hurt these people like it did if he wasn't a dearly beloved friend. I don't like Peter because I don't believe in him, as a character. His past and his present don't match.

Same for Bellatrix, unfortunately, because although she's a cool concept, I have no idea what's under the hood in her cranium. How did the same family produce her and Andromeda? Who knows. Really sucks because she's the kind of girl who would my favorite in a different kind of story — love an evil bitch, my God — but she doesn't have the texture to get me there. Also, hot take, but Molly kind of bugs me: starting with Book 5, she gets pretty hard on Sirius (fairly! she is a parent trying to watch out for Harry, and Sirius is very much not!) but she's super unkind about it, and doesn't really try to sympathize with him at all. Plus she nags Remus about getting with Tonks, which I think is kind of out of bounds and also unrealistic for a woman who is the mother of a person Tonks's age to want, so it's just like, JKR wanted a Moral Authority to tell Remus to fuck a twenty-three year old, cool, sorry Molly, sucks that it had to be you.

Dumbledore frustrates me for similar reasons, there's just not enough flavor; the Grindelwald thing from the movies would have been great if it were handled better and also officially written into canon, because it turns Dumbledore's life into a magnificently cool You Must Become Evil To Defeat It arc. how wild would that be? Dumbledore steps out of public life in the 30's to deny himself the temptations of power but the War forces his hand, three times, first with Grindelwald and then twice with Voldemort and so — gradually, gradually, but surely — Dumbledore is made to take the power he so feared, made to accept honors and give advice to Ministers and eventually he's grooming children as soldiers and thinking this is fine, I can handle this, and then he's keeping secrets from his closest lieutenants and lying to the Ministry about his plans and he's still thinking I'm the only one who can handle this, and then by the time he realizes Harry has to die, maybe he doesn't hesitate. And maybe he's still technically morally in the right, and it's necessary, but — hey, anyone think about what Dumbledore was planning to do if Harry hadn't volunteered to die? But listen: it's for the greater good.

Because maybe he never really stopped thinking that way. Maybe you need a Greater Good Guy on your team, if you're not gonna get your ass beat, but that doesn't mean you should necessarily crown him. And maybe you're not the hero the wizarding world deserves, but you're the one it needs right now, and all his life Albus Dumbledore desperately wanted to be the hero but destiny made him the anti-villain. Anyway that was some cool fanfiction I just wrote. In the books he's an old dude who's never wrong and he likes socks.

[edda-grenade]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thanks @inaconstantstateofchange for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

54

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

275k (damn, i hadn't realized it was that much overall)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

primarily dragon age (i've dipped into a few fandoms wrt fic writing over the years, but dragon age has been a mainstay for ages now)

and most recently, a for me unhinged amount of bg3

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

GET IT KIDS

The Common Tongue (Of You Loving Me)

Clean-Shaven

Slow Burn (that title is massively false advertising fyi)

Kintsugi

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i Want to respond to a lot more than i actually manage to do >.> unfortunately the comments that are super lovely and involved are often the ones where i get super intimidated about answering bc i want to make it a Good ReplyTM ^^'''

basically if you've ever written me a nice comment, be assured that i swooned over it, even if i never got the spoons together to reply

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Good Men, Fall To Dusk, hands down. p sure that's the only one that could qualify as an actual tragedy

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh hmmm. the majority of my fics tend to end happy overall, but i think Mirror on the Stage, Star to Star, Sun to Sun, and The Common Tongue (Of You Loving Me) are like… the most Joyful?

okay also honorable mention to Rites of Remembrance for having a very horny and very joyful ending XD

8. Do you get hate on fics?

so far, thankfully not! like, a handful of thoughtless comments over the years, but no Hate

(psa: "hey wouldn't it make more sense for this premise if you'd written a completely different fic instead" is a shit comment to give to anyone, alright)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

oh so much

a lot of kink and character/relationship-exploration-y stuff especially! and also i've been called the pegging monarch, so there's that XD

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not really, i tend to have a million AUs instead XD i did write a tiny bit of the hobbit/pacific rim fusion fic ages ago on tumblr! that's probably a contender for the craziest one

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i think so XD someone def asked if they could translate one, but off the top of my head i don't remember if they ever got around to it

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yep! once a few years ago, and more recently just So Much of the trio au

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

saar/solas <3 i've just accepted that they're my forever blorbos at this point (and yep to no one's surprise i did put them in bg3)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

the rest of the rites verse fics tbh. i still love my space cats, but whew. no more spark to write in that fandom

16. What are your writing strengths?

i write really good smut and really good horror 💪

also people keep telling me i'm p damn good at characterization, which is good bc to this day i feel like i'm making it up as i go along

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

semicolons em dashes run-on sentences my beloved

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if you want to, go for it! granted, i'm coming at this mainly from a fantasy language perspective bc that's what tends to come up in what i write, and i'm v much a fan of picking apart fictional languages

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh god that's lost to the ages. Might have been yu-gi-oh???

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

ohhh man HM. toss-up between The S͍̈́o͓̖̖̺͆ͩͣ̑ṋ̻̭̉͋͑g̓ͥ in the Halls and a matter of love, i think? song in the halls was the first time i Really wrote horror (and had SO MUCH FUN WITH IT), while matter of love is, uh. really fucking personal. it means a lot to me. so, yeah!

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundup: Prompts

FSN

After many, many attempts and rejections, Saber's many male suitors (Shirou, Gilgamesh, Kojirou, Diarmuid, whoever else you would like op), decide ah, fuck it - let's just be a polycule instead

May I politely ask for some Gilgamesh/Kojirou? I think they'd have a lot of fun together actually and I think it'd be nice if they made out a little

FATE/EXTRA

Jinako finding out how little Karna eats and ordering him to eat like a normal person. Except it turns out Karna has the most shit-ass metabolism imaginable, so eating more than a few rice grains at each meal makes him rapidly get chubby (everyone agrees he's better this way)

FGO

Mister compulsive liar Oberon gets chased around Chaldea by miss "I hate liars and want them to die" Kiyohime. Play it for drama, play it for horror, play it for comedy, dunno don't care.

For the person who wanted a Touta prompt: how about a festival date with Gudao? Typical minute singularity stuff with monsters attacking the festival, but until then they get to have a bit of fun.

Castoria trying Mapo tofu. She dies.

Scheherzade (cuddly) femdom x nonbinary master? That might be a little vanilla. Give Scher a leash. Servant turns into Master, and Scheherzade gains a lot of agency!

smut, Takeda/Kagetora nasty hatesex. Thanks

smut, To make up for his past sins, Lanceot has raw bareback sex with Gareth.

smut, Turns out the reason Habetrot wears those loose frumpy clothes is because she's got a dick so big she's basically giving herself a titfuck 24/7 and doesn't want other people to see

smut, I want to see the penis-havers of Chaldea having a literal dick measuring contest. The gayer the better. Feel free to put in your own headcanon on how big each of the servants have it.

Gudako during the chaldea staff meeting: guys, we *need* to get mandricardo an emotional support dog .

Guda is a walking tragedy. The only way to ever save them from the horrors the story subjects them to is to never let them step foot on the first pages of it - and thus there is no saving from the end where Guda will leave, will due, will stop existing - disappearing from this world. And so, after that, the storytellers, the actors, the ones to remeber carry this memory of their Master - despite The Throne trying to erase, to wipe, to smudge those memories. Sheherazade speaks of her Master's adventures instead of her tales. Oberon smiles, sweet as cane sugar, and talks of hid Master's antics instead of fairies of the Autumn Forest's. Any other servant of your choice - speaks of Guda instead of their myth. And thus, their own myth, of a Master so beloved, slowly creates. Slowly takes place. Slowly writes itself into the memory of the world. And one day, a mage summons a servant. And the servant calls themself - The Master of Chaldea.

smut, According to the version of myth this humble one has read, Ereshkigal was dragged to bed by Nergal, quite roughly, when he came to wed her. And before that, they were in that very bed for 6 days. Which leads to my humble proposal. Have a domme/sub introduction course for Ereshkigal with Medb, according to myth, is insatiable. And Fergus, who can, canonically satisfy Medb. Both are good champs and capable of keeping things professional out of bed, which would help pursuade Ereshkigal 👍

I am starving for some yakudo trio content. I don’t care what and why (although my mind chants something dark) but I am 100% starving

Penthesilea "I will literally murder you if you call me pretty" x Medb "I am horny for everyone that is heroic" I think they'd make a weird but cute couple

Crossover

FGO x Rosen Garten Saga crossover. I don't care about the details, just go ham

[flooftyfizzlebeans]

just saw someone ask about floofilbo and beffloofty (and all 3 of them together) but what are your opinions on floofbuddy? canon-compliant journalist or an oc, whatever works. and as a bonus, floofty/buddy/filbo trifecta?

I'm honestly kinda "eh" about Floofbuddy. It can be done well, and I've seen it be some of the best fics and comics in this fandom! The journalist can be shipped with literally any member of the cast and have it work, too!

But there's not enough depth or background to our journalist for me to care that much.

Yeah, they're snarky, and weird, and that works, but there's enough blanks that every single journalist is someone's ocs.

That brings me to floofty x oc! Like most oc ships, it depends on the oc! I have a weird perspective on OC x Floofty, as I personally use Floofty as MY self insert, so for me to be goo-goo ga ga over a flOC ship I have to be in love with and enamored with the oc. It doesn't stop me from being supportive of the ship if I'm not, but it leads me to being much more analytical than most would be.

A theme I see in a lot of floc ships is a completely blank oc or just shy enough to let whatever their interpretation of Floofty is shine. I rarely see ocs challenge Floofty in any way, which is what I personally think they would want, but I have to acknowledge that these ocs are very likely self inserts and the artist is the one in love with Floofty, not the oc. They can behold their beloved floofty however they want.

The grand majority of floofty oc ships are amazing, honestly! I can't think of a single one I DONT like. I'm just flattered mostly.

I have my own OC x Floofty ship, I kinda ship my oc mango with them, and Mango's life goal is to ruin everyone's day and make smoothies. Nobody challenges floofty more than someone who challenges EVEYRTHING. I'm lukewarm on it since Mango dies a lot and I'm not always in the mood for romantic tragedy

Filbuddfloofty covers a lot o the same ground I've covered before. In fact, the Jory almost and Beffica are similar enough in their work drive and career choices that the headcanons and date stuff I talked about in my previous post can be carried over.

Through getting Floofty into cryptozoology would be so fucking great. The sceptic to Buddy's believer. And Filbo as the frightened one while the trio looks for ghosts and Bigfoot.

Filbo would see grumpfoot, think he's just A Guy and start chatting while Floofty and Buddy look on terrified.

[goldpilot22]

I'm SO CLOSE to finishing this painting that I've been working on for like weeks

[mcyt-trios]

PROPAGANDA:

Eclipse Federation:

i dont like them. they ruined my life. Subz and Vitalasy had already partnered in previous seasons but this one, Vitalasy ended up leaving for a few months, leaving Subz alone, and Zam ended up getting close to him after immense trauma at the hands of his former teammates. Zam has done SO many wrongs, including to Subz himself and Subz STILL took him in and made him join Eclipse Federation after Zam died 14 times in a row and got banned then revived by the same player who's been killing him all this time. And it could've been perfect but no, Zam had betrayed his previous team due to them using dupes via exploits, and now Eclipse Federation ALSO has exploits! And he decided that yeah his morals were more important than being loved! And so he murders Vitalasy when he's at his most vulnerable point, lets everyone gaslight him into thinking Vitalasy is an irredeemable evil monster who will never change, even as Vitalasy SAID he was ready to change before the betrayal even happened, Eclipse threw out their whole revenge plans because of Zam's positive influence and he just broke everything. Subz couldn't be with Zam but also couldn't see himself at Vitalasy's side, leaving him alone. Vitalasy hated Zam and yet never killed him or hunted him down, despite Zam acting like he did. And when Vitalasy left, banning himself off from the server, Zam had some time alone to think and realized he fucked up SOOOO bad. And Subz revived Vitalasy and told him to kill him. And ban him. His last wish. His Deliverance. And to make up with Zam. And Vitalasy tried, and they kind of did make up over Subz's death, but then Zam was like "actually im going to kill everyone and destroy the server now. because i want subz back and also because i always do extremely drastic things when i don't need to because i have unchecked mental illnesses i refuse to get help for". And surprisingly when Subz came back he didn't like that! And they ended in tragedy! Eclipse is fucked up. It's a trio that's always about the absence of one person, it's a team that could only happen in one timeline and it was doomed from the very start. But the love was there. It made everything worse, truthfully. But it was there. And that matters. Also as a fun fact Zam himself on twitter has referred to eclipse as a throuple, which is not canon but that's pretty funny. he also stated on stream he didn't want to get therapy because it'd ruin his lifesteal character. and there was a saga where they would "marry" (challenge lost kinda shenanigans) and zam was the only one happy about it. he's not normal. there's something wrong with him. love that for him though sorry for the block of text. I really dislike them. They're my beloveds :3

Big Eyes Crew:

best gas station owners you've ever seen

they started a business together and had beef with Boatem where Tango built a giant eyeball over their base which dispensed ravagers onto them. also they're called Big Eye Crew because Keralis and Bdubs both have massive eyes on their skins but Tango DOESN'T so he made big round red glasses for them all to wear and they're iconic frankly.

SILLY GUYS DOING SILLY THINGS

They made a gas station franchise so powerful there was a location on the moon

[clean-casual-analysis]

Building My Ideal Hero

Cinefix on YouTube had a unique form of top ten movie heroes/villains videos where, instead of typical ranking, they layer traits on top of one another until they get a character that exemplifies all those traits at once. Speaking from experience, it’s actually a fun way to analyze and determine what I view as heroic or villainous. It’s also a convenient way for me to put out a bunch of What A Character! posts at once. So, to start off, I’ll be going through five of my favorite fictional heroes.

Trait One: Good Morality

The first trait my ideal hero needs is a good sense of morals, to do the right thing even when it’s hard. On the one hand, this seems an obvious trait for a hero to have. On the other hand, more comedic/selfish anti heroes have gotten the spotlight a lot of the time too. I wanted a more archetypal character to lend us this trait and almost considered my favorite ninja turtle Leonardo. But if we’re going for a rock-solid foundation of heroic morality, there are few that can match Sonic the Hedgehog.

The world’s fastest freedom fighter and menace to dark gods and mustached mad scientists everywhere, Sonic is a great starting point for this list. He might be a little cocky and impulsive, but his core dedication to goodness characteristically speeds past those flaws. He fights against Doctor Robotnik, not just for thrills, but because he hates bad people ruling over innocents. A loyal friend to many and protector of those who can’t defend themselves, the blue blur rushes into impossible odds with a smirk on his face.

Second trait: Skills and Strength

Now that my ideal hero has a good moral compass, let’s give them the skills to fight for what’s right. This isn’t strictly combat skills, plenty of heroes don’t need to throw punch to save the day. Maybe It’s through miraculous dimension altering like Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite. Perhaps it’s the dozens of talents Bruce Wayne learned to be Batman. For this list, I’d be doing little kid me a disservice if I picked anyone else but Master Chief.

John-117 is the sci fi super soldier to end all super soldiers. He matches his genetically enhanced reflexes and strength with unparalleled skills in military combat. Hijacking vehicles, adapting to alien weaponry without fail, making a pistol look like a god gun, the legendary Spartan almost makes fighting off alien armies look easy. Add that to his character’s loyalty, his willingness to sacrifice for the greater good, and knack for inspiring others, and it’s clear why he’s a beloved icon.

Third trait: Forced into Heroism

Of course, not everyone has superhuman abilities or even want to be heroes in the first place. The next trait for my ideal hero belongs to the Everyman underdogs whose forced into heroism by forces beyond their control. This is the calamity trio of Amphibia, or most of the human characters in Transformers media. Horror movie protagonists are very often average people going up against unspeakable terrors, and no horror protagonist is quite better than my next pick, Ellen Ripley.

One of the many great details that made the first Alien movie stand out from other sci-fi greats was the working-class nature of its characters. This wasn’t a motley crew of misfits against a galactic empire or scientific explorers, this was a group of space truckers hauling fuel from one end of outer space to another. Even before they encounter the xenomorph, you get the sense that the corporation they’re working for is grinding them down. Ellen Ripley best represents that feeling, a no-nonsense blue-collar woman whose cautious fear turns into dire heroism when the perfect organism rears its head. When the human antagonists of the story talk about the benefits that the potentially world ending species could have for humanity, she gives exactly zero fucks. And despite her anger and fear, she’s still a kind person willing to put her life at risk for others.

Fourth trait: Tragedy

So far, we have a morally good character who’s forced into action but has the skills necessary to overcome the obstacles in their way. The next trait will add a layer of hardship to them. Tragedy isn’t a necessary trait for a hero to have, but the best ones are often the heroes who help because they know what it’s like to be helpless. The classic example is Peter Parker indirectly causing the death of his uncle, but I’m personally more another comic tragedy, Bruce Banner.

Exposed to gamma rays and turned into a rampaging monster known as the Hulk, Bruce Banner steers his alter ego into evil and hopes for the best. Intelligently good hearted as Bruce but unstably powerful as Hulk, the scientist’s struggle to control his emotions and heal from his trauma bring about the tragedy. The man’s own existence has the risk of spreading mass destruction at the rising of his heartbeat. Bruce’s determination to control his inner demons and conquer the tragedy that altered his life makes it clear why he’s the strongest there is.

Final trait: Empathy

Four traits down and we have a pretty solid hero in our midst. The last trait is arguably most important trait to me, the ability to empathize. These heroes don’t just settle for sending the bad guy to jail, they’re the ones who want a better future for everyone. This is iconic heroes like Optimus or Superman when they’re written at their best, but my choice for this this and all other traits discussed above is an obvious one. Steven Quartz Universe.

I already made a post detailing my love for the character, so I’ll just just into why he’s the perfect mix of the five traits. Raised by a humble single dad and three heroic guardians, Steven is kind hearted by default. While he fumbles due to his inexperience and childishness, his growing powers and outside the box problem solving means that he will always save the day. The growing threat of Homeworld and the secrets left behind by his mother force him into impossible odds he needs to overcome. The trauma he received throughout his adolescence resulted in a troubled and conflicted mind, adding relatable tragedy to his character in SU Future. But throughout all the changes he’s gone through, it’s Steven’s empathy that shines brightest. Understanding when others are hurt and need help, even when they’re enemies. Call it corny, but nothing to me is more aspirational in a hero than that.

[aeymii]

Related to that Protag!Nagito idea, I also have this amusing mental image of a Koma trio. In which main Nagito goes on silly multiversal adventures with him and a Fem Nagito ("Nagiko"). A hardcore survivalist that's been hoarding weapons and tech from across the multiverse to have an edge over any variant of the Despair Sisters she comes across. That contrasts with her "brothers" in giving zero shits for Hope, talent, or anything like that, and being shamelessly egotistical. Having only agreed to be the Ultimate Lucky Student in her verse to exploit the connections of Hope's Peak. Knowing full well that she's an actual genius, and disdaining the school putting "glorified hobbyists" on a pedestal.

I imagine main Nagito ironically getting along better with his "sister" than his "brother". The latter who he tends to childishly bicker with, partly out of envy of the "lucky bastard". Protag!Nagito too tends to be a bit childish around his Remnant counterpart, who he projects some of his self-loathing onto. But they're able to work things out, strangely in part with the help of Nagiko's blunt egotism. Like she kind of acts as a balancing measure against the mutual self-deprecation, being all like "Um no, I'm a 250 IQ genius, and the both of you are almost as intelligent as I am. Have some fucking pride, goddammit."

The dynamic between them is like that one meme pic of the three wolves, with the two on the left and right laughing their asses off, while the one in the middle looks annoyed. With whichever one of the trio is in the middle rotating depending on the occasion. Like main Nagito and Nagiko discovering some embarrassing situation Protag!Nagito got into during the Tragedy that he'd prefer not to talk about. Or Protag!Nagito and Nagiko learning how comically small main Nagito's actual body count was as a Remnant, not even getting past the single digits.

YEAHH!! KOMA TRIO IS ADORABLE, Fem Nagito is so cool!! OMG SHE GOT THEM WEAPONS?!?! GIRLBOSS HONESTLY!! 💘💘 OOOOOOOOO she slays so hard, hahahaha childish bickering I just love siblings, Lucky- HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S HILLARIOUS, OF COURSE HE PROJECTS HIS SELF HATRED, He now has a valid outlet for it lol!! YEAH TELL EM GIRL SHE'S GOT BRAINS AND BEAUTY AND SHE BALANCES THE TWO OUT AHHHHHH!! fem nagito my beloved<33

PFFT I'M DYING- I CAN JUST IMAGINE THEM AS TH MEME WITH THE WOLBESJAKAKAKAK!! This is so silly I LOVE IT!! Just a bunch of fluffy wolves make them white haired and greyish green eyes AND BOOM!! YOU CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM HAHA- IT ROTATES TOO?!?! THIS IS A MASTERPIECE I NEED TWENTY CHAPTERS OF THIS SHEET!!<33 PFFT embarrising situation hehehehe what'd he do?!?! LOL AHAHAHAAHHA HE DON'T EVEN HAVE A WEAPON, How is my man supposed to kill someone then?!?! Like all the other remnants looked so cool in the anime!! (Mikan with her syringes, Akane and Nidai with their godly strength, Izuru because HE ALSO OVER POWERED BRUH- that human experimentation made him undefeatable, and then Komaeda with.. taking care of children?!) He could probably kill 4 at most to be honest!! But this is so cool!! I love the AU so much- your ideas never disappoint my favourite anon!! 💕💕

[curiosity-killed]

Lang Qianqiu deserves more love goddammit: a post, unfortunately

This brought to you by the wonderful @veliseraptor & @/yuer on Twitter but also mostly out of spite and the fact that it’s preventing me from writing a very dumb poke-the-bear post abt the entire weird social media culture around The Minors

As always ✨SPOILERS!! SPOILERS EVERYWHERE✨

So first off: when I hit the scene where lqq confronts xl and screams “I will never be like you” I sat up in bed, did a little shimmy of delight, and hissed “fuck yes” at like 2 AM so. Now you have a preview of wtf this train wreck will be

1 ) lqq is a good character

We don’t get a ton of time with lqq because tgcf is 87 side characters running across stage with The Most Interesting Concept constantly one-upping each other before vanishing. But what we do get is, I think, enough to make a pretty compelling story: Lang Qianqiu is a kind and generous prince who is also the sole survivor of the bloody massacre of his entire family, committed by the people dearest to him (both in his belief that Gusohi Fangxin did it and in the reality of An Le’s involvement), who goes on to peacefully lead his fractious nation into a peaceful reign before he ascends as a powerful enough (aka beloved and worshipped enough) god to be ranked among the top heavenly generals. That’s like. Pretty fucking classic protagonist vibes right there.

And, as usual with mxtx’s characters, we get a lot more than this lovely little backstory. In his interactions in canon, lqq is capable of great grief and anger; he is willing to sacrifice himself if it means avenging his murdered family; and he simultaneously holds both great hatred and great respect for his old teacher. And, of course, he winds up raising and taking care of his enemy’s son which shows a remarkable depth of compassion and emotional messiness that I find terribly compelling. He struggles with a simplistic view of justice that is supported by lies told to “protect” him and that is uprooted by the truth and forces him to try to make sense of the world without the guardrails that others installed around him (looking at you mister fangxin sir).

Also I’m stealing my own tweets bc I’m Right but:

*pulls up single barstool to lqq is a good character table* I think it’s interesting & Says Things abt the continued relationship btwn lqq & xl that lqq *didn’t* recognize xl, implying that he left fangxin’s mask in place even when he went to kill him

Like here is the man who killed his family & best friend, who left him abandoned in bloodshed on his 17th bday—& here is also the man who saved his life, who taught him, who lqq looked up to & wanted to be like

Even when lqq *does* recognize xl, he still has so much respect for him paired with that hatred that it’s honestly rlly tragic? Like man. There’s so much grief in lqq’s repeated demands for a duel & insisting it’s fine if xl kills him as long as he doesn’t hold back

*pats lqq pompom* this bb is so sad. And so much more like his teacher than either of them seem to realize or necessarily want

Despite being a pretty minor character, lqq gets a lot of complexity and nuance! Look at this child trying to be grown up while desperately turning to his old master for guidance and “the truth”! Look at him! Be sad!!

2 ) lqq is an excellent parallel to xl

Okay stealing my own tweet again don’t look at me I yell the same shit everywhere

Xl didn’t want lqq to become like him (self-sacrificing, vengeful, alone) but lqq not only became alone, chasing vengeance, & willing to sacrifice himself for revenge—he also became kind, open-minded, & remorseful!! & he still clearly respects xl @ novel end 🙃🙃

We all know hc’s “they’re not very alike at all” and yeah sure baby go support your man but narratively, there’s a lot of importance given to cycles, parallels, and foils in mxtx’s writing and most explicitly (compared to mdzs, haven’t read svss) in tgcf. For example, *gestures at beefleaf, gestures at Xianle Trio vs Wuyogn Crew, gestures at Xie Lian & Jun Wu’s whole uh. Deal.* And while I’d argue xl and lqq are part of a triumvirate rather than a pair, we’re not including mister three-face in this conversation so just looking at xl and lqq:

Both adored and sheltered crown princes

Both taught by a guoshi who was seeking to prevent the repetition of their own tragedies and in their efforts, lied/omitted information and failed to protect their charge from tragedy

Both were betrayed* by their closest friends

Both are the last living members of their respective royal families

Both caught the interest of supernatural beings from a young age

Etc etc I’m getting v bored and distracted writing this so moving on

Most importantly to me, we have their betrayal by a very close and adored mentor and how they react. The confrontation I mention at the start of this shitshow is really imo one of the most important scenes in the novel because it a) illustrates the differences in xl and Jun Wu and b) sort of gives you a preview of how xl ultimately wins

So a) Jun Wu and Xie Lian both take a talented, marked-for ascension young prince under their wing. Jun Wu sees himself in the boy and obsesses over shaping him into Jun Wu’s own image in the belief that this will make him the perfect heir. Jun Wu pushes his chosen heir into situations where Xie Lian is repeatedly harmed in an effort to show that the common people are fickle and cruel and don’t deserve his compassion and care.

Meanwhile, Xie Lian is reluctantly roped into mentoring his prince due to his inability to stand aside when he feels he could do something to prevent hurt or injustice befalling another (simultaneously his great strength and great weakness! God I love him). Xie Lian tries to teach his student to believe in and care for the common people and not to sacrifice himself (see: flashback convo re:taking the force of the sword strike into his own body).

When Xie Lian refuses to bend in the shape Jun Wu demands, Jun Wu bashes his head into the wall. When Lang Qianqiu cries “I will never be like you!”, Xie Lian laughs and says “Good!”.

B) this of course feeds directly into foreshadowing! Like Lang Qianqiu’s bold words, xl ultimately refuses to become like his mentor and remains defiant even when it would stop him from being hurt. Xl beats lqq and says so what if I tricked you, so what if I lied, I still won. Naturally, xl beats Jun Wu not through standard swordplay but by using a trick he learned while forced to busk and wander the earth alone and unlucky for centuries.

…okay so I have fully forgotten what I was actually saying here! Anyway!

Like Xie Lian, Lang Qianqiu spends a time consumed with the need for vengeance, hunting his enemy and rejecting the heavens. And like Xie Lian, he winds up caring for his enemy’s “son” and trying to both comfort him and maintain what’s left of Qi Rong’s life force despite having previously been hellbent on destroying him—bc he sees the impact it has on another person. In the end, he even gives a gift to Xie Lian—his mentor, his role model, and the one who killed his father—that was once given to him as a symbol of unexpected kindness. Sound familiar?

But, importantly, and contradictory to what I have been yelling abt but whatever it’s 12:30 am, Lang Qianqiu is not a direct mirror of Xie Lian but a closing of a vital loop in the story. Lqq is very similar to xl (I will die on this hill!! Only I won’t bc I’m stronger than y’all and will keep swinging these pots and pans) but bc xl tries to do better and keep lqq from suffering the way xl has, lqq is able to have a gentler and more optimistic path forward. He’s proof that even a small act of kindness or even kindness to only one person still matters and has a ripple effect that can’t be seen when you’re in the middle of it—a thread started with xl giving the coral pearl to Lang Ying and closed with Lang Qianqiu returning the pearl to Xie Lian.

So I have no idea if any of this is coherent or compelling but I meant to be asleep two hours ago and the points are:

A) Lang Qianqiu is good actually

B) parallels!!!

C) look ive already started another wip about Lang Qianqiu and Xie Lian and I didn’t want this but no one else wrote it so now I have to so pls just accept this as a warning

*sort of air quotes around this for Xie Lian bc frankly Mu Qing was right & Xie Lian kicked feng xin out BUT on the other hand, it was experienced as a betrayal and we also again have all of Jun Wu’s shit so it evens out

[mediocre-eternity]

Today is 20 November, 2022.

The trio of us haven’t actually been staying on Night Island full time. A month or so back a horrifically large hurricane tore through Florida and our little Island. We’re incredibly lucky that our property didn’t sustain totaling damage but was battered nonetheless. All the business is lost and some structures still remain partially in the water. Trash is askew on most of the streets though now piled in high mounds. I’m still having difficulty finding the words to process how we’ll rebuild. It feels like a great organ has been cut from me. The Villa is livable, for us anyway. We can sleep where we find the most comfortable. Because the Villa was built up high, a lot of primary damage was avoided; only some flooding in our basement, which is unfortunately where me and Daniel slept. There is a lot of labor going back into the Island though and I truly believe sometimes nature gives us the blank slate we didn’t ask for. I’m not so concerned for my emotions about the Island. We are traveling back and forth to the mainland and when we can, we spend time here. On the mainland I’m surrounded by much more tragedy than my own. We’ve only fed sparingly on the locals as everyone’s focus is on their lives torn asunder. No, for myself I am not concerned at all. Me and Daniel spoke at length about what we wanted on the Island in future. Daniel calls it Night Island 2.0 and we’ll definitely have a record store again. Oh and a dispensary. “Give them their drugs,” he said with a laugh. “I know I would have loved that.” It’ll be lovely.

We had to evacuate first to the mainland then we traveled up to New York to stay at Trinity Gate there and struggled to get back as soon as we could. The first night was the three of us kicking out broken glass and torn walls. Why I need so many windows in my homes is a mystery. Consider me a slave to the moon and the stars. As wee were assessing the damage, I picked up some books and started moving them to a pile then heard Benji calling to me from the living room.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” He said as I approached, his face sinking and turning. Behind him, belly up like some stinking, glossy beached whale was my beloved 1981 custom Italian white leather sofa. It was specifically designed for the Villa and one of my most prized pieces of furniture. The entire room’s decor had not been touched since we first moved in and I cherished it so deeply and so fondly. Daniel’s sudden howl broke my daze as I was staring at the broken thing. He laughed and laughed as he walked to it and with Benji, tipped it back onto it’s feet as water and debris gushed forward like entrails from this slain creature. The entire room was a mess but the sofa stood upright now, flayed like a martyr to what our Villa once was.

“Oh my God, Boss, it’s fucking dead!” Daniel bellowed, still laughing, ironically echoing what I might have been thinking. Benji looked up at Daniel a bit confused by his rejoicing but Daniel was plainly remembering a rather charged argument we had over this furniture. Again, it was custom and took a great deal of designing to match the vision I had for this space. It was my seat and I was very proud of it. I tore the damaged fabric up to reveal it’s metal springs and soaked wood. Daniel was reciting a lot of stories involving the item to Benji as I couldn’t help but inspect it further. Daniel burnt the sofa with cigarette about six months after we installed it and the wetness in the wood unleashed a vile smell of stale tobacco. He also vomited on it once and plenty more times he was close to doing it again. So, I screamed at him so loud that he didn’t sit in it for the rest of that summer. I really didn’t mean to scare him but ever since then Daniel had become completely invested in hating it. And now my fledgeling finally won. Something plastic and bright pink caught my eye so I reached for it and held it in my palm. Daniel snatched it from me the moment I registered what is was.

“Holy shit. I remember this.” He was in disbelief. The object was a little pink lighter with Miami 1982 printed in white below a palm tree motif.

“Oh.” I responded, remembering. “You had bought that before we got back on the charter to the Island. You lost your previous one and went into the Seven-Eleven to buy a new one.”

“Aah, a relic!” Benji took it from Daniel and really thoroughly examined it. “Put on E-Bay for a million dollars!”

Daniel laughed.

“That fucking couch swallowed my lighter. Do you know how pissed I was when I lost it after taking an hour and a half nap?” He took the lighter again, waved it at me and put it in his pocket. “It’s good luck from now on.”

Daniel was looking outside at the total, silent darkness. At once I was thrown back to a memory. Maybe not a complete memory, but the emotion was there and I wanted so badly for this moment to be from decades ago. Daniel would be staring past the open windows at the flashing neon below him then out at the moon above the sea. His face would be unshaven, his eyes stale, his hair blowing wildly over his forehead. And he would light a cigarette and say the probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, so stupid I’d marvel at the sheer wit of it. Then Daniel would ask me to join him in the shower and he’d promise he’d focus on staying. I wish I could show this image in my mind to him but I couldn’t and that realization is what destroyed the bond I had with Daniel in his mortal life and for decades I couldn’t stand to look at him in the Blood. I’m a monster of the highest caliber but please understand that a near constant mental link existed between Daniel and I before I gave him the Gift. But Daniel right now is all I can think about. Back in the present, he kicked some glass over the edge of the room out into the palm trees below, studying the little bit of outside before moving back toward the center of the room. I reflected that my life had always been a series of endings. There are always chapters closing at an alarming rate, almost faster than I can plan for them and once again I stood in the center of vacant palace. In these moments a small thought always occurs to me, that there’s at least one person I could go to for help but it’s a thought that’s never lead me anywhere good. Daniel’s arm came around my shoulders… I really I feel like he could sense why I was so speechless. He was looking at my face and my eyes met his.

“Ah, don’t worry about this,” he said so very casually, scanning the room again and then he smiled at me. Since that night a lot of the Villa has been cleared out and has become much more comfortable again. I want to continue to exist here.