#tp is kind of the opposite to me the beginning is... sure a beginning!!

[rawliverandgoronspice]

realizing I'm very sensitive to pacing, actually

[falcqns]

he's gone for good.

pairing: sub!Bucky x Reader

summary: Bucky informs you about Steve leaving.

warnings: angst, sub!Bucky, crying Bucky, mentions of violence.

a/n: hope you enjoy!

when you opened the door, and was greeted with a crying Bucky, you had no idea what to do.

you may had known Bucky for many years, but he was never open emotionally with you. in front of you, at least.

you two had met when you were studying abroad in Bucharest, and ended up moving in right beside him. you knew who he was right away, and you also knew that he was most likely on the run from HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D., so you never revealed that you knew who he was.

a week into living there, you found out he had nightmares, but it wasn't until a month later that you found the perfect cure for them, home cooked food.

you were up late doing some research for a paper, when you heard the beginnings of a nightmare. you usually heard the terror and scream filled ends, not the beginnings, but you listened anyways.

he was calling out for someone. it took you a few seconds to decode what and who he was calling out for, but when you realized, your heart broke for him. he was calling out for his mom. his calls became louder and more desperate, before coming to a head with a shout, then sobs of heartbreak. it made you think of your mom, hundreds of miles away. it wasn't until you remembered that he was born in 1917, so his mom was definitely dead, that you moved from your bed.

you ran into the kitchen and pulled out all the ingredients for some chocolate chip cookies. eating homemade cookies always soothed all your pain when you were little, and you didn't want to think about the kind of food HYDRA fed him on a daily basis, if they fed him at all. you also knew he most likely wasn't eating properly here, as you’d see him come back everyday with plums, along with some type of street food that he found.

didn't matter what the street food was, he always had plums accompanying it. a quick google search told you that plums helped improve memory, so that was that question answered. an hour later, and the cookies were done, and loaded into a spare Tupperware that you had lying around, with a note on top letting hi know that if he ever needed to talk, you were there.

you placed it outside his door, knocked, and retreated to your unit just in time. thanks to an abandoned body mirror that sat opposite the wall that separated the two units, you got to see the smile that spread on his face when he saw the cookies and read the letter.

after that day, it became tradition.

every time he would have a nightmare, you would give him some type of food. whether it was chicken parm, French onion soup, cookies, cake, donuts, or even chicken nuggets and fries that you Uber Eat’d from McDonalds, you always made sure he was comforted.

it wasn't until a month before you were due to move back to your home country that you saw him face to face for the first time. you were bringing him some white chocolate macadamia nut cookies when he opened the door. he had a coat, hat, and leather gloves on, indicating he was going out.

he smiled and blushed, before speaking. “so you're the lovely lady that cooks for me,” he said, and you laughed before handing him the container with cookies.

“yes I am. I just made some more, actually.” you said with a smile as he took the box from you, and looked inside.

“well, thank you doll. these look absolutely delicious, I can't wait to try them.” he said with a smile and you felt your cheeks heat up.

he placed the box down on the table next to the door, and turned back to you.

“well, I'll let you get on with your day,” you said, as you turned to head back to your unit.

“actually,” he said, and you turned to face him. “I was just going to go on a walk since it was my day off today. do you maybe want to come with me?” he asked, and you felt butterflies form in your stomach as you nodded.

“sure! just let me grab my coat.” you said.

then, just like the cooking, the afternoon walk became tradition. you two would walk and talk about anything. whether it be work, school, or building drama, you always had something to talk about.

on a certain walk through a quiet little park, he confessed who he was, and was surprised when all you said was “I know.” he’d asked if you were afraid, and you said no. he’d asked if you were planning on turning him in, and you also said no.

you’d explained that it was obvious that HYDRA had control of him, and that everyone deserved a second chance. after your little speech, he’d kissed you, and asked you out on a date. you'd accepted, and started dating after your first date.

then, he was captured by S.H.I.E.L.D.. the two of you had been at the market together when he saw a newspaper saying that he had killed King T’Chaka with a bomb at the UN. he swore, and dragged you home. the two of you blew past your unit, and headed into his where you were faced with Steve Rogers. this didn't surprise you, he'd told you what he could remember about Steve, and you were expecting him to show up eventually, you just weren't expecting it to be so soon.

you could hear someone else, Sam, over Steve’s comm, and realized that there were police here, to capture Bucky. upon hearing this, Bucky shoved you out of the apartment, and down the hallway, with Steve following. he’d led you to a back entrance that you didn't even know was there, and told you tp leave the building until everything was over.

he gave you one last hug and kiss, and your first ‘I love you’, and he was gone.

you hadn't heard from him for 2 years, when you got a letter from him. according to the letter he had been seeking refuge in Wakanda, and had been freed of the Winter Soldier. he invited you to come and visit, and you did. you got to watch him tend to his goats (which he named after every avenger, even Tony) and interact with the Wakandan people, and the children. who knew a former brainwashed HYDRA assassin could be so sweet with young children? definitely not you.

then, just as you were preparing to leave and look for a farm where Bucky could continue to raise his goats and be with you, King T’Challa came to Bucky and gifted him a new arm, and informed him of a new fight. Bucky had begged you to leave, but you wouldn't have it. you had been working out and training since the day that you watched him and Steve fight against the police in Bucharest, wanting nothing more than to run in there and protect him.

so, you fought. it felt surreal to you to be fighting with the Avengers beside you, although there was no place you’d rather be. in that moment, as you were racing towards those “space dogs”, as Rocket had called them at one point, you didn't care if you lived or died, won or lost. you only cared about fighting beside the love of your life.

watching that same love of your life fade away to dust in a beautiful Wakandan forest broke you in two. you had just gotten him back, and you’d lost him again. you were trapped in your own head for days, wishing to dust away like him, just to be with him.

before you knew it, 5 years had passed, and you had joined the remaining Avengers. how you went from studying abroad in Bucharest, to being an Avenger, you had no idea, but you were grateful nonetheless. when Steve, Natasha, and Scott approached you with the possibility that you would be able to get Bucky back, you instantly accepted.

you joined Tony, Steve and Scott, and helped Steve in the fight against himself. when Tony failed to get the Tesseract the first time, you joined them on their journey into 1970, and was blown away. it wasn't exactly the time that Bucky and Steve were from, but it kind of felt like it in a way, and you instantly felt closer to Bucky, although Steve had to stop you from going to find Bucky, who was coincidentally only a few kilometres away at that point in time.

you fought with Steve and the rest of the Avengers against Thanos, and almost fainted from happiness when you saw your Bucky walk through the portal and run into your arms. you, once again, fought with the Avengers and Bucky to defeat Thanos once and for all.

then, Tony snapped his fingers, and your whole world changed. you didn't know it at that particular moment, but it did.

you attended Tony's funeral, and you and Bucky went home. a few days later, Bucky and Sam went to see Steve off to return the stones. you had no idea why, according to Bruce it would take about 5 seconds, but Bucky insisted that he needed to go, and said that he was sorry he couldn't join you on an afternoon walk, your first one with him in over seven years.

but, then he showed up at the door, tears streaming from his steel blue eyes, his cheeks puffy, and the smallest of sobs escaping from his rosy lips, and you knew something went wrong.

you pulled him into your apartment, and wrapped your arms around him. he nuzzled his face into your neck, and sobbed freely.

“what happened?” you asked. “did something happen to Steve?” at the mention of his best friend, Bucky sobbed harder, and your question was answered, albeit silently.

you pulled him into the bedroom, and stripped him from his clothes. you’d never dealt with a sobbing and heartbroken Bucky in person before, so you just went with what felt right.

you instructed him softly to go lay on the bed, and he nodded. you laid down on your side, and pulled him to lay on your chest. as your hands ran through his hair that was starting to curl slightly, you tried again.

“can you tell me what happened, honey?”

Bucky sniffled a few times and sat up. you did the same, and he fiddled with his metal fingers while he talked.

“y’know yesterday when Steve and I went out for lunch?” he asked, and you nodded. “well, he told me about your journey back to the 1970′s with him.”

you furrowed your brow in confusion, but nodded. “I-i guess he was dodging some workers or something because he hid in an office, an office that happened to belong to Peggy Carter. he said that he saw her through the glass, and that he realized that he could have the life with her that he’d always wanted, the Pym Particles safe in his pocket. he knew that he had to come back and bring everyone back, but then he was going to go back.” you didn't know what to think. that wasn't the Steve that you knew, the Steve that you had become family with over those horrible and painful five years.

“when he told me, I didn't really think he was going to do it.” Bucky said, his voice shaking. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, and he rested his head against your chest.

“even when I watched him disappear on the tunnel platform I didn't believe it. then, he showed up again.” he said, almost whispering.

“he was old. like grey hair, wrinkles, all of it.” he managed to get out in between sobs that were growing louder. “t-thats when it hit me. that he left me, for he-” he tried to say, before his sobs started full force again, and you pulled him to lay on you. he had his head on your chest, and his body in between your legs.

his cries continued, and you knew there was no stopping them. he was heartbroken, and he had to work through his feelings, not ignore them.

he swallowed, and continued to explain. “he left me for the girl he kissed once. which is great, he deserves to be happy, but I need him. I'm finally completely free, and I don't have my childhood best friend anymore.” he sobbed out, and you started to rock your body slowly to soothe him.

you wanted to cry too. cry about the friend that you’d never get to see again, but you couldn't, not yet. Bucky was hurting way more than you were, and you could push your pain down until Bucky was okay. you cuddled him closer to you, and spoke into his hair.

“its okay, baby boy.” you said, and he nuzzled deeper into you, the stress and sadness melting away from his body. it would return later, but it was gone for the time being. he sighed in contentedness, and his tears slowly stopped. you kissed his forehead, and felt him smile.

you ran your hands through his locks for the millionth time, and hummed a slow tune to him to soothe him further. you felt his breathing even out, ad light snores escape his mouth, and you smiled.

at least for a while, he was at peace, a peace he hadn't had in a while.

[shazos]

Rouxls is Hiding Something Big: A Deltarune Theory

FORENOTE- For some needed context, it may help reading my previous Deltarune theory here for important details that I will cover in this post. (My previous theory provides notable evidence on why Gaster is indeed the “Knight” figure talked about by multiple characters in Deltarune.)

Now, this is going to sound crazy. But after much time of poring over and analyzing Deltarune, I have come to a conclusion. One that I’ve been convinced of for awhile now. Something that’s been lying right under all of our noses without many of us even realizing it. We have all been bamboozled. Hoodwinked. Tricked. Why, you may ask?

Because the comically stupid and inept Duke of Puzzles is actually... not an idiot. No, he’s the complete opposite. He is a downright mastermind.

As collective players, we are all falling into the same trap once again. Putting faith into a character’s preconceived personality !

When their true personality turns out the complete opposite of what we expected...

It is here, my evidence for this claim begins—and we delve into the true identity of Rouxls Kaard. Buckle up everyone, cause this one’s gonna be a fun ride. 👀

So, to spill the beans up front, and get it over with. I believe Rouxls Kaards identity... is none other than W.D. Gaster in disguise.

Now. I didn’t immediately become invested in this theory—I was skeptical at first like everyone else. But, once I began examining Deltarune and all of its characters a bit closer...things weren’t exactly adding up about the Duke of Puzzles.

Point #1: Anagrams

I initially began to become suspicious of Rouxls Kaard because of his odd name. Sure, it is a play on the words of the term, “Rules card”. But it is spelt in such a peculiar way. If it were just simply a play on words, I think that there would be a much better way of going about spelling it rather than just jumbling a bunch of random letters together. There is a very intriguing reddit post found here that goes more into depth about his name that ties well into my theory. The thing that stood out to me in particular, is that Rouxls’s name is actually also an anagram for “A Dark Soul RX”, (with the left over RX typically being used in terms relating to doctors/medicine.) Not only is Gaster a Doctor, but he’s also always associated with darkness and the research of souls. Toby loves his anagrams—so I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if this was intentional. But it doesn’t end there.

I’ve noticed that Toby Fox has a tendency to tease certain things about his games through merch. And wouldn’t you know it—he has in fact, a particular item on fangamer of a “dark heart.” One which description describes the Angel’s Prophecy. Hm...

But let’s back on track onto my second observation, shall we?

Point #2: The Physical Resemblance to Gaster

Now, there seems to be some interesting foreshadowing related to inverted colors in Deltarune. Before Ralsei takes his hat off, he appears black. But once he takes his hat off, voila, his colors are inverted, and he is revealed to actually be a white goat highly resembling Asriel.

In addition, the entire Dark World is literally just. An inverted version of a normal world.

The Dark World could have hypothetically been the created world/experiment that Gaster had fallen into in the first place. After all, his experiment had to do with “darkness”, and “negative” photons--AKA the Dark Fountains, and the negatively/inverted landscapes of the Dark World.

And how does Rouxls Kaard appear inverted anyways? Well, he looks like THIS.

He even has the strange dangling lip thing—which another character said to directly resemble Gaster, Seam, has as well:

In addition, if you look at Rouxls’ text-box profile very closely, his eye colors are actually mismatched which is a rather interesting detail!

Point # 3: His Accent is Extremely put on.

I think anybody that has read any sort of Shakespearean/Old English writing, can instantly realize that Rouxls is as bad as imitating an Old English accent as a high-schooler reading Hamlet for the first time. Rouxls absolutely butchers it. He practically adds eth, and est at the end of any word he chooses, and calls the job done. What is even more interesting though, is when he gets nervous or panicked, he drops the act all together and talks normally.

Point #4: He is Pretending to be Dumb; His Puzzles are Actually Impressive!

I found it intriguing how there are countless puzzle traps in all the forest areas and in the Card Castle prison that were actually very well done. You have to flip the spades, diamonds, hearts, etc to unlock doors, and open secret chests. They require a decent amount of thinking skills, and are actually competent. But who made them?? Oddly enough if you observe one of them in the forest areas, it appears that Rouxls Kaard vandalized one of the puzzles to make it harder for the player to beat it—which further implies that he actually indeed made those puzzles himself. This shows that Rouxls is much more competent than only being able to make a single box shove puzzle that is comically easy. Where else do we see a place full of plenty of rather well made puzzles + traps seen? All throughout the Core in Undertale—a place which Gaster himself created!

Point #5: Rouxls IS Aware the World is a Game--AKA DON’T FORGET TO READ NPC DIALOGUE FOLKS!

I think it is well aware by now that Rouxls likely wants us as the players to underestimate him--and deem him a fool so we wouldn’t bat an eye at what he’s actually up to. But the most biggest give away to this is something that I have surprisingly seen no one mention at all. And oh boy, it is the most damning evidence that Rouxls is no idiot to be trifled with.

To the left of Seam’s shop, there can be found a little group of former puzzle-makers that used to live at Card Castle, until they were fired and replaced with Rouxls Kaard. They are now all out of a job, and are just barely scraping by since the Spade King didn’t give them any severance pay. However, Rouxls Kaard offered them a way to get money--by selling the tutorials he made.

These tutorials go over TP, stats, information about Susie, Ralsei,  and Kris. Rouxls Kaard has never once met any of the players yet--and he knows everything about them. He knows about stats. He knows the world is a game.

HOW??

In addition, when you talk to Rouxls in his shop, he calls you three the Heroes of Legend. He is well aware of the Angel’s Prophecy. He knows.

Whenever any character in the world of Undertale & Deltarune knows that the world is a game, it is an instant red-flag. It goes to show that they know much more than they let on. Flowey and Sans are big examples of this in Undertale. Pure hearted, dorky idiots that we trust earlier in the game--but wind up seeing the real side of them later on.

...So why should we treat Rouxls any differently?

Point #6: The “Control Crown”

Something that I immediately thought was kind of weird, was the fact that Rouxls Kaard was able to control the K. Round with a “Control Crown” device. If he is so stupid, how was he able to create a full on mechanical device that can brainwash a life-form into being violent/cause it to triple in size?! That is genius material right there!

But things start to take on a much darker side when you begin to look at the subtext of this realization, which I will get to in a moment...

First of all, Seam claimed these exact words.

The remaining king was the Spade King-- as the King of Hearts, Diamonds, and Clubs are seen to be locked up in the Dungeon. Therefore, the Spade King put the Knight, and his strange son into power. IF it were the Spade King in power, the dialogue box WOULD have said “himself”. Therefore, the Knight, and his strange son were put in place to control the kingdom. And who are they?

Gaster/Rouxls Kaard, and Lancer.

Evidence to back this up:

Lancer calls Rouxls his “Lesser Dad”. And Rouxls calls Lancer, his Strange little darling/son.

The Spade King is not in charge. During his boss-fight, he states that he obeys the word of the Knight.

If you observe more of Lancer’s dialogue in the scene right before the gang enters Card Castle, he states that his dad, (Spade King), recently forced his troops to listen to Lancer instead. Therefore, Lancer is by all respects actually second in command to the Knight.

One of Rouxls main interests is...Lawmaking. Even though he is just supposedly an innocent Duke of Puzzles.

Another one of Rouxls main interests is...Cages, and long strolls in the dungeon... 

There are innocent puzzle-makers locked up in the Prison who are terrified--they were arrested for the simple act of making a puzzle without a license. HM, I wonder who could have possibly locked them up? *Wink wink nudge nudge*

And what ties this all together, is perhaps the most obscure, tiniest detail that no one would have likely observed on a first play-through. If you go to the first floor of Card Castle and click the description tablet next to the elevator to the Prison, it claims that the Prison used to just be a Basement Which Just Happened to Have a Lot of Cages. This is backed up by the caged animals in the basement, who say that they miss the “good old days” when they used to be the only ones there in cages, and not a bunch of people behind bars.

In summary, Rouxls is locking up a bunch of innocent people, and playing nice to our faces. He IS the knight. And he is not to be underestimated.

Point #7: Rouxls’ Plan is Already Set in Place

The part where this theory gets a little dark, ties back to my mentioning of the control crown earlier.

If you observe the throne room, it looks like it was recently torn apart in a sort of...conflict.

Why was the Spade King the only king left un-caged to begin with? Why wasn’t he locked up too?

Well...Rouxls Kaard needed someone to put him in charge. But not only that—he needed a scapegoat. Someone to blame. Someone to be “The Bad Guy” for the Heroes to fight.

The Spade King...is actually innocent. He is obeying the Knight, because he is being controlled by a Control Crown. The throne room is in ruins because the Spade King likely fought against this at first, but Rouxls won and successfully put the Spade King under his command. I thought it was strange how the King was so...violent. So irredeemably evil, and even murderous toward his own son Lancer. Yes, it could be argued that this is indeed his true personality, that he is a complete, abusive jerk. But, the whole ending battle of Deltarune chapter 1 feels so...set up in a way? It feels so starkly good vs evil, black and white. Almost like a play.

And oh boy. I think I was onto something.

If you pay close attention to the fight with the Spade King, there is a brief moment at the beginning where he is completely shrouded in shadow. Except. For. His. Crown. It glows stark white in comparison to himself. Like a Chekov’s Gun if you will.

And even more interesting, in the supposed good/pacifist ending, the Spade King is locked up in Prison, the other three kings are still locked up in cages, everyone else is freed, and Rouxls and Lancer now have full control of the kingdom...

Guys. We just played right into Gaster’s hands.

Point #8: Seam Knows that Rouxls is the Knight...

The final observation that genuinely makes me convinced in this theory, is a small detail I noticed at the end of the Pacifist run of Deltarune. Once you have beaten the game, and all of the prisoners are freed, everyone comes to celebrate at Card Castle for your victory. Everyone, except for Seam. That is because Seam knows what the “Strange Knight” did to Jevil. He knows who the Strange Knight is. And he knows what the Knight’s true intentions are.

Point #9: Extra Tidbits I noticed:

When compared to the other denizens of card castle, Rouxls seems out of place. He is the one vaguely humanoid character among a bunch of card and chess themed Darkners. 

His puzzle is... too easy.

Rouxls is oddly excited about overthrowing the king/taking his place. 

Rouxls is well versed in calligraphy of all things. (Relation to fonts + letters.)

Rouxls “sparkles” have an odd resemblance to the shining save states...?

He makes pop culture references, such as ones seen here and here. Could just be random throwaway jokes, but often times more “aware” characters such as Sans and Papyrus are keen on breaking the fourth wall at times/making references to relate with the audience.

His hair looks strangely out of place. Especially the hairline which is really receded to an unnatural degree on the left side. It’s a wig guys...

He gets a suspiciously new position for no reason at all. In any normal situation, he would be extremely unqualified for it if he were as stupid as he makes himself out to be.

Rouxls is literally wearing armor, akin to a medieval knights.

If you pay close attention, Rouxls has a few very subtle similar speech patterns to Gaster. They both occasionally repeat words twice. They both use the words wonderful and truly a lot, etc.

When Kris and the gang beat the K. Round, Rouxls said it was just to test their abilities.

Rouxls theme has leitmotifs from Gaster’s theme.

End of discussion. Deltarune’s finale is legit going to be Gaster getting his wig snatched.

[writingsfromhome]

A June Love Story (Pt 2)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Epilogue

June. Three years ago.

Harry: The outdoor garden is alight with laughter and happy greetings as everyone comes together for Jack and Jess’s baby shower. I try to find a familiar face as I walk through the gates, but I only recognise Jack’s family. My eyes continue scanning anyway, barely admitting to myself I was looking for one face in particular.

A small gasp from beside me lets me know my girlfriend had returned with our name tags. Leave it to Jack to have nametags at a baby shower to help everyone mingle. “This is lovely isn’t it?”

I look down at Alyssa, my girlfriend of seven months-the longest I’d kept a girlfriend in a while. Jack’s Jess actually made the introduction, she was her maid of honour at their wedding. And as cliche as it was, the maid of honour did indeed end the night in the best man’s bed.

Alyssa scrunchles her nose and loops her arm through mine, “let’s go find the parents-to-be!”

“Yeah okay,” I laugh. Alyssa was always a bubbly personality, never a mean word out of her. It was refreshing but the complete opposite of how I could get. I always had to watch what I said, she was too soft for harsh words.

“I heard there’s a secret baby wager going around,” Alyssa tells me as we make our way to the deck. “Don’t tell Jess though, I’m pretty sure it was Jack who started it.”

“Oh it was definitely Jack who started it,” I chuckle. “You can get him to bet on anything.”

“So?” Alyssa peers at me. “What did you wager?”

“Why did you think I wagered?” I laugh but Alyssa only raises her eyebrow; I give in. “A boy.”

Alyssa rolls her eyes but we stop the conversation as Jess nears, “There you are!” She hugs the both of us and the girls begin gushing over how big her bump had gotten. As much as I would love to have kids of my own someday, it wasn’t today. I zone out and look around the small garden, I almost don’t catch her.

Y/N, in the flesh. The last time I saw her was Jack’s wedding, she’d been a little cold. I didn’t blame her. After she broke down in front of me at her housewarming, I guessed she was embarassed again. But she stayed away the whole weekend, avoiding me until I cornered her on the dance floor on wedding day.

She’d confessed, she was avoiding me. And she also admitted she was confused anytime she saw me, it complicated her feelings, her relationship with Nate which she was sorting out. She didn’t want to put more strain on it. I told her to break up with him. She got upset and said I would never understand, things were complicated. She left. I decided Y/N was never going to leave Nate, I was putting my love life on hold for her but “we” were never going to happen. So I went to bed with the maid of honour.

When I realised a few weeks ago I was seeing her again, I couldn’t stop thinking about her again: all my old feelings resurfaced. And here I was trying to find her face in the crowd even though I was here with Alyssa. But there was a draw to Y/N I couldn’t deny. It was unhealthy.

She’s talking to Jack, I realise. And her hair was short. Really short. And dyed. She has on a white tee tucked into loose green trousers. There was no Nate in sight. I had to talk to her before he showed up and ruined things as he did.

“Look at Harry eyeing Jack,” Jess’ voice snaps me out of it. I didn’t realise how hard I was staring. “You can be excused from this boring conversation Harry! Go talk to him!”

Alyssa giggles and pecks my cheek before leaving with Jess. I push aside the guilt of what I was really looking at, I do what they say. My heart pounds the closer I get to her.

“The godfather to my unborn child,” Jack spots me first and rushes me. I grapple with his body and hug him.

“I will ruin your child if you make me the godfather,” I swear. “I don’t know the first thing about kids. I’m not worthy.”

“Nah I’ve seen you with your wittle fans,” Jack mocks and looks over at Y/N to include her. “He’s this big softie inside.”

“Y/N,” I acknowledge her, anticipating a cold nod. But surprisingly, her face breaks into a genuine smile and it takes my bloody breath away.

“Harry,” she moves to give me a hug. She’s warm from the sun and smells like lavender. I could stay there longer but we break apart.

“Look at the two of you,” Jack comments as we break. “No fighting, no rudeness. Almost like we’re all adults.”

“I can speak for myself, but I don’t know if we can call Harry that quite yet,” Y/N teases.

“There it is, I should’ve known it was coming.” Jack swings his arm and we all laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Alyssa comes up from behind and she joins the group. With the way Y/N watches her arm wrap around my waist, I realise she didn’t know. She didn’t know. And her face falls now that she does.

“These two finally getting along,” Jack says when nobody talks.

“I don’t think we’ve formally met,” Y/N sticks out her hand. “You’re Jess’ bridesmaid right?”

“Maid of honour,” Alyssa corrects and I watch my worlds collide as they shake hands. “But most people call me Alyssa.”

That earns a laugh but as the group eases into small talk, I avoid looking at Y/N. I didn’t know what I expected today, but the reality of it makes me realise I was in some deep shite.

Y/N: The one time I’m finally single, Harry’s not. It’s my bloody luck! I’m single after years and the one guy I thought I might reconnect with, is taken. The worst part, by a kind and gorgeous woman.

The last time I saw Harry was at Jack’s wedding. I was still with Nate then, we were on the cusp of another breakup. But it felt different that time. Seeing Jack marry the woman he was so clearly in love with, the same woman who’d broken his heart after their split...it made me realise things. Nate and I broke up again and again and every time we got back together, we were just more broken than before. We were papier maché of broken bits acting like a perfect whole-Jack and Jess broke up once, and soon as they got back together, Jack had proposed and she’d said yes. And I was still in the same shitty relationship from my early twenties. I couldn’t even imagine Nate proposing. It was pathetic how I fooled myself into thinking we were worth something together.

What was more pathetic was it took another month to officially break up with Nate. Convince him it was for good, forever. It took a week for him to move on to a girl he met at a club. And another four months of living in the empty house he’d moved out of because it was my name on the lease. As soon as the year was over, I’d found the first decent flat and that marked the end of a shitty almost decade of my life.

And today, it seemed my shitty decade persisted. It was clear I was fated to be alone and miserable.

“So where’s Nate?” Harry asks me and that gets a string of swear words out of Jack. Alyssa looks on confused.

“We broke up,” I say simply, carefully watching Harry’s barelt hide the shock and something that almost looks like regret. I wondered what was going on in his head, and immediately feel like a bad person. He was in a happy relationship, I shouldn’t interfere.

“Thank fuck,” Jack says just as Jess walks up. He winces and covers her stomach.

“You know you’re not covering the baby’s ears, right?” Jess says to Jack.

“I am-I’m a doctor honey, I would know.” Jack says and kisses Jess. My heart twinges, I can’t help it. I missed the feeling of being so in love.

“So as a doctor can you figure out why Alyssa is so afraid of children,” Harry asks, the conversation fast moving away from my breakup thankfully. But moving towards Alyssa and Harry having a baby and the thought makes my stomach drop.

“I just don’t want to bring another human into this world!” Alyssa defends herself, it sounded like it was an argument they’d had before. “I’ll gladly be the godmother though. I just don’t want any of my own.”

“Isn’t it nice the godmother and father of our children made it easy for us, they’re already a couple.” Jack comments.

“Thanks to my matchmaking skills,” Jess says. So that’s how it happened, I think.

***

My cramps kick in later in the day and I scramble to find a painkiller. The intensity makes me sit out of the games, so I settle down on a picnic blanket near a garden patch, happily watching the competition between Jack and Jess’ friends. Three girls and guys stand as their groups try to make diapers out of TP before they tag the next person to change a doll’s diaper. A baby-themed obstacle course, which was probably Jess-inspired. I smile at the thought.

Lost in thought, I pick up a few of the fallen flowers just as a pair of sneakers come into view and breaks me away from my thoughts.

“Can I join you?” Harry’s low voice asks.

“Sure,” I brush aside my mixed feelings and shift to make room. He sits down, leaning back to watch the games. One of the girls being dressed was Alyssa. Her back is mostly to us but he watches her fondly.

“It’s been a while,” Harry finally says, looking over at me.

“Yeah,” I twirl a flower in my fingers, a couple petals fall off. “Feels like a lifetime ago though since we last saw each other. Congrats, by the way, on your awards.”

I’d watched every second of that awards show, attentive to every moment Harry was on screen. I’d gone to text him later that night and realise I never even had his number.

“Thanks,” Harry skims past the accolades humbly. “Seems like a lot has changed between now and then.”

“I know,” I try not to sound bitter. “I finally broke up with Nate, you got together with Alyssa-who is lovely by the way. Let’s see...you won an amazing award-your career’s really taking off, I moved into a flat in central and got a promotion and...am I missing anything else?”

“You changed your hair,” Harry says like duh.

I laugh and point to his buzzcut, “Yeah. I did, so did you.”

It was a rash decision on my part. When I moved into the new flat, I wanted to be done with every part of my old life. So I’d done something drastic. Remembering it dredges up unwanted feelings: loneliness, anger, insecurities, and unhappiness. I go quiet as Harry laughs at something that happens with the obstacle course. It takes me back to when we first met, how I wanted to hear that laugh for the rest of my life. And that wasn’t something I could have anymore.

“Earth to Y/N,” Harry says gently. I’m too lost in thought to look up but he calls my name again, his fingers lifting my chin up so I’m looking at him. He’d shifted closer to call my name, leaning on his hand that’s splayed right beside me, the tips of his fingers a breath away from my thighs. The pain of being so close to him yet not being with him is palpable.

With his fingers still on my chin, my eyes meet his and I realise I’d never seen them this close up with the sunlight leaving no shadows in sight. They ask me a question I don’t know how to answer, they ask if I was okay. But I really didn’t know anymore.

I put on a smile for his sake, so he wouldn’t ask out loud, and push the flower I was playing with behind his ear. He looks cute, and my smile widens as I drop my hand down to lay beside his. His smile stays in place, his pinky reaching out to touch me while his eyes still watch me, asking the same question. My smile drops away and I look down again to our hands so close together. I couldn’t let him see me cry like he did once. I was stronger than I was then-I couldn’t cry.

“Harry there you are! Do you like it?” We both look up as Alyssa comes running up to show off her TP diaper and sash. Harry leans away and I immediately miss the feeling of him being so close. God, what was wrong with me.

“Wow what a look,” Harry stands up and walks towards her. She grins, so clearly in love with him. Like his eyes were only for her-and they probably were. I think I pushed Harry away one time too many. Our chance was gone. Yet to think all he had to say was “yes” four years ago, we could have had our chance all this time.

June. Two Years Ago.

The crowd was huge and I grab Jack’s arm to avoid getting lost. The sun was relentless, shining down her rays until I was sticky and sunburnt.

“Can you believe this?” Jack shouts to me. I mouth an I know as we grin at each other. It was the first festival we’d been to in years, the feeling of hot bodies packed together in the sun was not as fun in your late twenties than your early twenties. The only reason we were here was because Harry was playing and we were stoked, ready to scream with the crowd as he performed. I told him I would wear the neon cowboy hat so he could find us in the crowd.

“Our boy’s a bloody rockstar!” A giddy laugh bubbles up as we make our way into the crowd to find Jess and Alyssa.

It had been a year since I found out about Alyssa and Harry, I was crushed about it. But Harry really was incredibly happy with her, and the more time I spent with her the more I liked her and got over my petty feelings. Jack usually invited me to be their fifth wheel on double-dates or would set me up with a friend of his and Jess’. None of the setups were as good as Harry but a couple did last a few months. I was feeling better than I had in a long time though, and finding my freedom in being single. And Harry and I were actually friends, often texting each other stupid memes and videos.

“There they are!” Jack points to two girls. I slow down as Jack rushes to surprise Jess from behind. I slowly approach and Jess pulls me into her famous hugs.

“It’s so he can spot us,” I say when Jess asks about my choice of hat. “Speaking of the devil...” I look to the front just as Harry walks onstage and the crowd around us becomes one large megaphone.

And the experience is pure magic. Harry becomes otherwordly on stage as he performs the songs I knew every word to and we all shout the lyrics back to him. During his slower songs, the crowd quiets down and my heart bursts realising just how much I loved the man onstage. How loved he was by the enormous crowd.

“I’m so telling Harry he made you cry,” Jack says in my ear and I startle; I didn’t realise I was crying.

“I’ll kill you-“ I say as Jack already snaps a picture. I stick up my finger for the second and he takes a selfie with me for the third. I roll my eyes as Harry introduces his last song.

“It’s not on my album, or any platforms. I think it’s my first time performing it...”

I assume it was a song about Alyssa, he’d already sang two about her. I glance at her to see her reaction but her head is bent over a phone. Curiosity gets the better of me-who would she be texting while Harry was performing?

I could barely make out the name but it’s definitely not Harry’s; I can only see hearts. The texts themselves...I quickly bounce back on my heels and look away just as Alyssa looks back at me. I pretend to be interested in Harry, only glancing at her because she was looking at me. She smiles but she looks guilty and my heart thuds, louder than the crowd, ready to fall out of my chest as I fall back into his fans. I try to push away the ugly truth of it.

“So the working title is Speechless, but don’t hold me to it.” Harry says and I swear he’s looking right at me. My heart takes another beating as the name clicks, I didn’t know how much more my heart could take as it flutters along with the opening notes and into the chorus

Mouth open, shut, she’s speechless. Heart open, shut, I’m speechless.

I listen to his lyrics. They’re about me. About a strong woman who he left speechless, that being the only power he had over her. Because I might love her but she didn’t love me, she gave herself to another and left me lonely.

Harry was with Alyssa, I remind myself. Alyssa might be...cheating on Harry? But they were still together. Harry and Alyssa. Together.

So why was he performing this, in front of me?

***

“You sure you don’t want anything?” Jess asks me, as they order food from a stand. I couldn’t think about eating, I make an excuse that I was staying hydrated. Harry told us about a private area we could meet him, he’d told security we were coming so we were just getting a bite to take to him. I wasn’t sure what I would do when we got to him.

He’s a sweaty happy mess when we do, listening to everyone’s praises with a big grin, laughing and acting shy as we all hug him. This was his first festival!

“How did you like the new song?” Harry asks, his eyes lingering on mine.

“I was speechless,” Jack jokes.

“I’m curious who the inspiration was,” Alyssa teases Harry, I try not to act as flustered.

“Someone long ago,” Harry winks and they pretend to be scandalized.

“I’m starving,” Jess lifts her container. “I’m finding a place to sit.”

Alyssa and her head to an empty spot while the three of us head to the water station first.

“So when are you going to do it?” I hear Jack asking Harry as I fill my bottle.

“Do what?” I ask, looking from Jack to Harry.

“Uhm, I was going to-I was thinking today was a good time to finally-“

“He’s bloody proprosing to Alyssa!” Jack whispers to me. If I thought the song or Alyssa’s texts were going to end me, I was wrong. This was worse. It felt like a trainwreck I could only watch, and not stop. This was going to end horribly, and Harry. Harry...I didn’t want him to end up in a relationship like mine. I had to stop it somehow.

“Y/N?” Jack waves his hand in front of my face.

“Woah!” I try to cover up. “I was waiting for the punchline! Harry, really? You’re ready to-to commit?”

“Yeah,” Harry shrugs. “I think it’s time.”

“Have you guys talked about it?” I ask curiously.

“A couple times. But I know it’s the right time.”

“I asked Jess to marry me before we talked about it,” Jack says, and I know he’s eyeing me suspiciously. He knew me too well. “And look at us now.”

“You and Jess are a golden exception Jack,” I roll my eyes. “I just want to make sure Harry isn’t springing it unexpected.”

Jack’s phone rings-Jess wondering what was taking us so long and asking if he could get her another drink. That leaves Harry and me walking back together alone and the guilt of knowing his girlfriend may be cheating on him eats me up so I burst after we walk in silence.

“Harry, I don’t think you should do it.”

“What?” Harry heard me but he looks confused. “Why would you say that?”

“I just...I can’t...I can’t say. Just trust me.” I didn’t want to be the one to break it to him. But I didn’t want him to fuck his life up either.

“Trust you? Give me something to trust Y/N! Why wouldn’t I propose to the woman I love?”

Ouch. “Just trust me Harry please,” I stop and grab his arm. “I never interfere with your love life unlike you do with mine, but I just think you should wait. Talk to her about it first. I don’t want you to make a mistake.”

Harry scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief. “Why don’t you tell me what this is really about Y/N.”

“What?” Now it was my turn to be confused.

“I know we’ve had a history, and you’ve been out of a relationship for a while. But that song was one I wrote years ago, when you were still with Nate. I was in love with you then-not-not now. I love Alyssa, not you.”

My jaw drops, that was not what I meant but Harry’s bluntness is misdirected, his old mean streak coming out. I wanted to tell him what I saw on her phone even more than before, how did he think I was that...jealous that I would stop him because I wanted him?

“What the fuck!” I finally sputter out after Harry turns to continue walking. “D-do you really-who do you think you are? Who do you think I am? You really think I’m petty enough to try to stop you because I think we belong together or some-you’re a self-centered dick, Harry! I’m just looking out for you!”

“I don’t want you to! I never asked you to!” Harry shouts back. “I don’t need you in my life Y/N! I don’t need your judgements or your advice. I want nothing from you. Unlike you, I have a healthy relationship with an amazing woman and I plan on bloody marrying her whether you want me to or not!”

“I-“ his words sting the back of my eyes and the lump in my throat feels like a tennis ball lodged too tight. I don’t need you in my life. He was right, we weren’t as close ever since he got together with Alyssa...we only ever hung out because of Jack. Harry moved on from me. “You know what, whatever. I cared about you as a friend Harry, that’s why I look out for you. Maybe you should ask yourself why your performed that song in the first place if you love Alyssa so much. But whatever. If I’m nothing to you, do whatever-just do whatever you want. I’m going to find Jack.”

I force my wobbling legs to turn around and go in the direction that Jack left. I find him just as he pays for his drinks and when he sees me he knows something’s wrong but I deny it until he gives up. I claim I felt sick, to let the group know. I let myself cry when I reach my car, not knowing Harry was proposing at the exact same moment.

June 21, One Year Ago

Harry: “Have you spoken to Y/N recently?” Jack asks me over the phone. I could hear Jack’s kid crying in the background, his daughter born in April-who they also named April.

“Not since your baby shower,” I reply. “You know we don’t talk anymore. After I fucked it all up.”

“I thought you patched things up at the baby shower?” Jack asks.

“I tried but Alyssa was there and I was distracted. She was just polite. I think I ruined anything between us for good.” And I felt like an idiot. After the whole disaster between Y/N and I at the festival, what was supposed to be the happiest day turned into the worst when I got back home.

Alyssa confessed to me that night she’d said yes because we were in front of all our friends but she couldn’t marry me. She’d met someone else, nothing actually happened between them but she couldn’t marry me. And it tore me apart. I finally understood why Y/N was trying to stop me, she must’ve known somehow.

And the more I thought about it, the more I realised how hard I was trying to force Alyssa to be my perfect girl. She wasn’t. I could never let go around her, always had to make sure I didn’t offend her. She never wanted kids, one day I did. I wasn’t enough for her, I forced her to be enough for me.

But at the time, I was heartbroken. I drank myself into blackouts and missed so many important meetings. I lost an album deal and set my bloody career back. I lost the only girl who maybe was enough for me, told her she was nothing to me. And I only apologised to her a few months ago. By then, it seemed like she moved on.

“Mate, what the hell are you doing feeling sorry for yourself and not trying harder for her? She doesn’t have a boyfriend, she’s still in love with you-“

“How do you know?” I demand. “She treated me like she was forced to talk to me. She’s over me. We were over before we had any chance!”

“Whenever I bring you up, she flinches Harry. She’s still hurt by what you said, that means she’s not over you. Just talk to her.”

“Is that Harry? Tell him I’ll put these babies down and kick his arse if he doesn’t go after Y/N! Did you see her last time she came over for dinner...” Jess in the background interrupts the conversation. Maybe the worst part of all this was I did give up on Y/N. I was embarassed that she knew about Alyssa and me before I did. And I’d said such stupid things to her. I didn’t think I was redeemable.

Y/N: I check my hair in the mirror one last time before I grab my purse. I was meeting Jack and Jess at a nearby restaurant for dinner, ever since they had their baby in April I had only seen them once. They’d secured a babysitter-Jack’s sister-and we were all planning on just catching up.

On the tube ride there, I can’t help but think about Harry. Usually dinners with J&J meant Harry was there too but ever since the festival, his proposal...the four of us hadn’t hung out. We talked for a bit at Jack’s baby shower, I had tried to act like I moved on and was doing really well. I don’t know if he bought it. Alyssa was there with her new boyfriend and she seemed happier than ever, I noticed how Harry kept looking at her. That had done it for me, he was still hung up over her. Even though Jack told me he was in a bad place after the breakup but better now, it was right before me. And I was done reading in between the lines with Harry.

I get to the restaurant just as Jack’s pulling out Jess’ chair. It was a fanicier restaurant, our table in the middle of the space. Jess springs back up to give me a tight squeeze and we settle in but I notice they glance at each other frequently.

“Is something the matter?” I ask after the fifth time.

“No? Why?” Jack looks at Jess again and I point it out.

“There! Why do you keep looking at each other?”

Jack and Jess’s gaze moves above my shoulders and I feel a presence behind me. I turn around and Harry stares back just as shocked.

“You guys bloody did not,” I stand up and face them. “Is this just an elaborate hoax to get me to talk to him?”

“I didn’t know anything about this,” Harry raises his hands in defence. But he still moves towards the empty seat. Like he was okay with this.

“We didn’t mean to parent trap you two but...” Jess looks to Jack.

“You have a lot to talk about. We hate having to see you guys separately, we miss the gang. Just have one dinner that’s all.”

I want to whip my glass across the wall, I was angrier than I should be. But it wasn’t like they didn’t mean well. So I drop into my seat like a child after a temper tauntrum and glare at Harry. I ignore him up until we order when Jack gets a “text” from his sister about an emergency and just like that, they rush off and leave Harry and I alone.

“We haven’t even ordered yet,” I say. “We could just call it a night ourselves.”

“J&J went through all this to get us to dinner, we could just...have dinner.” Harry looks at me from his menu. It’s like my life had come full circle, Jack setting me up to have dinner with Harry. Except this time, it’s Jack and his wife and I already know Harry would just be a waste of my time.

“You’d like that,” I mutter as I stare at the words without reading them.

“What?” Harry leans in. “Are you talking shite under your breath?”

My brows shoot up, taken aback by Harry’s abrasiveness. I hadn’t seen this side to Harry in a while. “What if I am?”

“I’d like to know what you’re saying,” Harry moves to the seat next to me. “Lay it on me.”

I stare at Harry’s strange behaviour, glance at his glass but it’s untouched.

“This dinner?” I stare him square in the eye.” “Really for your benefit. Jack probably pitied you and decided to try to rekindle the flame he lit in the first place, I don’t bloody care to be here. I’m fine if you’re not in my life.”

“Who said I want this?” Harry asks. “I’m fine if you’re not in my life.”

Even though I’d just said those words to him, when he says them back they sting a little. And it must’ve shown in my face because Harry backs down a little. He reaches for his glass and takes the first sip. The waiter takes our order and I’m left staring at Harry’s side profile as he burns a hole into his glass. I open my mouth to talk but he speaks first.

“I’m sorry for being so horrible to you. All these years, not just at the festival.” Harry finally makes eye contact and it’s my turn to look away. He waits for me to say something and when I don’t he speaks again. “You don’t have to forgive me, I understand if you don’t. But I did lie right now, I wouldn’t be fine if you weren’t in my life. I haven’t been fine. I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry.”

Tears spring up and I hate them. But remembering Harry’s words from that day, how often I did recall them. And I think he’s done but he continues:

“I really thought I had it all figured out with Alyssa. When I think about it now I know we would never have lasted. I don’t know how you knew she...but she couldn’t...it just wasn’t meant to be. With her and me. And I wish I believed I wasn’t such a dick that day. I think I was just scared what losing her would mean. So I lost you instead.”

I would never admit it, but life was a little less dull without Harry. I missed when we hung out with J&J, the four of us had fun. But I didn’t want my life to be a pattern of crawling back to any man I had history with.

“Thank you for apologising,” I say formally, it was the only way I wouldn’t cry. “But I don’t think we can be friends again.” It’s too painful, too much had happened between us.

Harry doesn’t speak for a while, I thought he wasn’t going to until he does: “Okay, if that’s what you want.” I see him lean back in the chair from the corner of my eyes. He pinches his nose and sighs, “I’ll respect your...what you want.”

It’s awkwardly silent between us as we wait for dinner. Jack texts me just as it arrives and I check it discreetly.

I’m sorryyyy!! False alarm but we decided to take the babies home. Give him a chance Y/N, he’s always asking about you. Don’t shut him out!!!! Xxx

I want to facetime Jack just to flip him off but I turn my phone over and focus on swallowing my food without throwing up.

“So,” Harry starts. “Since we’re havig dinner we should talk.”

“What do you want to talk about?” I decided to stay polite.

Harry looks intensely at me, “What you’ve been up to? Unless you don’t want to get...personal.”

I shrug. “I haven’t had much of a life outside of work. But I booked a month off next month, I’m visiting some American friends.”

“Oh? Where are they located?”

“Some in New York City, LA, Seattle, and one in Chicago.”

“You’re going to visit all of them?” Harry sounds surprised.

“Yep,” the excitement for the trip flares up again and I can’t help but grin. “New York first, then make my way to Chicago and then Seattle. But the most exciting part is I’m going to drive down to LA after that-“

“Alone? That’s cool!” Harry joins in on my excitement.

“Right?! I just needed...” I sputter out as I remember it was Harry I was talking to. But then, I say screw it. “I just feel like the last few years with Nate and stuff, I needed an adventure. To just go out and explore.”

“I think that sounds perfect.” Harry smiles and he looks genuinely happy for me. The way he looks at me, I feel flushed as I concentrare on my food and throw the question back at him.

“Catching up on studio time,” he says. “I missed out on a lot after...Alyssa and I split. I’m going on tour in a month.”

“Local tour?” I ask.

“America, actually.” Harry says and I raise my eyebrow.

“Maybe we’ll bump into each other,” I say without thinking. We pause as we stare at each other. I break eye contact.

“It’s a big country,” Harry says. “But if we’re destined to meet...I’d like that.”

We talk some more, Harry telling me his plan for his new album and accepting my crticism. We decide to skip dessert, I claim I was getting tired but the night was just growing heavy. I missed Harry like you miss a childhood friend. It felt like we might have outgrown each other, I wanted things to go back to simpler times, but it was so easy to fall back into a familiar pattern when we were together. It was confusing and upsetting.

Instead of an Uber this time, Harry had driven himself and he offers to drop me off. He was passing me on his way home apparently.

The ride is silent, but not awkward. An unspoken agreement to just exist beside each other and not force a conversation. As we near my flat, his song comes on. He goes to change it but I swat his hand away and turn the volume up. I catch him glancing at me but I turn my head out my window and let Speechless wash over me. The only song anyone’s ever written for me.

Before I leave, I turn to him, the goodbye a painful one. “Goodnight Harry.”

“Goodnight,” he watches me with sorrow and it makes me pause as I hop out.

“I had a nice dinner even though we were parent trapped together.”

He laughs, relief coating his features. “Me too, it wasn’t as painful as you looked when you first spotted me. I thought you were going to run out of that place.”

“I was not,” I laugh. I decide to lean back in the car and peck his cheek goodbye. “I’m really proud of you Harry. You’re definitely going places.”

He smiles, but his eyes give away the truth behind what he was thinking. It was a thought I couldn’t entertain.

I wish him goodnight again and head to my doors, making sure I didn’t turn around. I wasn’t sure I would have the strength to walk away if I did.

I drop my keys by my door and head to my room, shedding the day as I step out of my oufit and into my sweatpants. My tickets to JFK in two and a half weeks greet me as I open my freezer for ice cream, I might have refused dessert tonight but my heart needed the sweet relief that I was going to be okay. In under three weeks I was going to be halfway across the world tasting freedom and a new adventure! I couldn’t wait. As I dream about what was waiting for me, I begin to think I really was going to be okay.

[mad-unit-alive]

Roleplay with @l7814-tp

This story was also made by L7814-tp so make sure to check out their account! Couldn't have done this with you!

(This is part 1 of the story, Tumblr said it was too long of a story to post all at once)

Upon arrival, guns ready for any fights were now oddly given no targets to be shot at. The place was quiet as if life no longer existed there to even begin with. Continuing forward the sight was slowly becoming gruesome. Blood marks were all over the walls and puddles on the floor, corpses could be spotted every few feet and the smell was overwhelming. By how some bodys appeared on closer inspection it seemed as though the murders were committed not to long ago but their injuries were beyond repair and they all are showing no signs of being alive. The halls were dead silent and the whole building wasn't well lit and only were the emergency red lights the only thing lighting up the area.

****

((it's fine. I write gore all the time-))

*L7814-tp looked dissapointedly at the area. And put his guns away*

"If someone was going to make me to a fetch quest, then they should've said so! I'll have a stern, 'talking to' to my client after this..."

*He said as he wondered (while looting some bodies. Shiny things always catch his attention-) along. Taking in the scenery, he pondered if the thing that did this was still here, and he had to fight it. He shivered at the thought of it. Killing people in general is one thing, but a giant monster is another. He started to remember his experiences with Kragons... Which ended up with him hiding every single time...*

The speakers gave off a slight ring for only 10 seconds before it stopped followed by a slight giggle, sounding like a little girl was there. But searching around there appeared to be no one. The voice sounded so close to their location, the fun of the place having speakers and microphone systems.....

Deeper into the structure there were more and more chambers as if this place was a true lab. The viewing glasses to each one were shattered while only the few that remained in place had bullets holes, blood, and claw marks all over them. Again more corpses around the place....

One wall near a shattered glass frame had blood writing again but this time it said something different.

"It's a monster..... bullets... don't work.." the writing reads. "Get out"

"Well..."

*L7814-tp said out loud*

"... Shoot..."

*L7814-tp didn't like that. Since he doesn't like melee stuff, and he's a sniper. Like this dude has a semi-assult sniper rifle with him. It's epic. So, he's basically helpless. But, he came here for a reason, so he isn't leaving anytime soon.

Other than the blood writing, the shattered glass makes him uncomfortable. What could do this much damage? Obviously not what he's used to. He then decides to distract himself by thinking about wether or not to get a new coat of paint. Or maybe get new equipment later on*

The speakers rang again this time the giggle was a bit louder. The more they traveled the place the more bodies continued to pile up. Within a few minutes of looting and exploring the corpses were not only just humans anymore. There were now Krakens, skags, all kinds of Pandora creatures now dead from the "monster".

As if the moment couldn't become anymore terrifying, a loud clang emitted from a nearby office that was blocked by a jammed door. Screams could be heard from the other side and blood soon splattered through the opening of the door and onto the cold metal floor.

The speakers soon came to life again this time a song played quietly.

"Don't come crying to me.

Don't come crying

Don't come crying

Crying"

Soon static erupted from the system and the song stopped, giggles following again before the click of it turning off once more.

More writing under one of the speakers.

"I can't believe we created such a thing.....it's not safe.."

*Social Anxiety.EXE Activated*

"Cheese and Rice... Cheese and Rice..."

*The bot kept saying to himself. This is not good. Not good at all. He pulled out his rifle for comfort as he continued*

"Cheese... And... Rice..."

*He was shaking in fear, he should of requested for a human to chaperone him! Then he would have someone say, 'There's nothing to worry about stupid robot' to him. Of course, it would make him mad, but at least it would distract him from the monster he's stuck with*

"Cheese... Rice..."

The jammed door soon creaked, a massive claw emerged from the small opening. Grabbing the door and appeared to be trying to pry the door open. The metal of it cracking and bending from the force

*L7814-tp jumped as he hid behind a corner. Obviously regretting to even take this mission in the first place. He sounds like he's sobbing*

"Cheese and r-rice-e! What did I get my-ysel-lf into-o-o!!"

*He sobbed louder... Which should be the opposite of what you're supposed to do when a monster is forcefully opening a door*

Suddenly it all went silent. The creaking of the door stopped and no longer could the snarls of the beast be heard anymore. Now the place was dead quiet once again like before..... no sounds at all anymore.

*The quivering robot decided to take a small peak over the corner he's hiding in*

"W-what happened...!?"

*He was holding his gun tightly now. If anything were to pop out of nowhere, he would go in reverse the heck out of the place. He wants none of this monster crap*

A loud bang sounded as the same claw burst through the center of the door, covered in cuts and blood but not seeming effected by the injuries. The massive claw turned and gripped part of the door and within a second the large door was pried off it's frame. Sparks shot through the air and the emergency lights flickered making everything go black for a second but what felt like minutes or even hours. When it all cleared the door was on the ground and whatever had busted through it was out of sight. When seeing the door they could see it was at least 3 feet thick in width. How it busted through and broke it was beyond thought...

Clanks of metal sounded from the depths of the darkened hallway. Scratching could be heard but whatever it was sounds like it was moving away from L7814-tp's location

*L7814-tp sighed in relief*

"Oh thank goodness it didn't see me... But what the truck!?"

*Investigating the door on the ground and squeaked in pure fear*

"Cheese and trucking rice! I need to get what I need to get and get the truck out of here!!!"

*He said as he went through the metal frame, stopped, turned back to the door, and turned right around*

"I'm not following that thing... I'm NOT following that thing... ... I'm following that thing!"

For a claptrap that was fearing for his life a second ago, he decided to go reverse and follow the noises of the beast. Why? His mind is an ignigma. That's why*

[staytheb]

Like Oh 2.0 - Dates. Lessons. Gym.

Previous Chapter: Chinese Class Word Count: 3,845 Summary: Jaebeom has a group date with his Konkuk University buddies. Melanie also has a group date with her Seoul National University friends. Serena’s an English teach aide where she’ll be teaching Jinyoung, Youngjae and Yugyeom. Jeannine checks out the gym where Jackson and BamBam are working out, too.

Like Oh 2.0 masterlist

this is the second chapter and more like a filler chapter to explain some things for the future chapters and the likes. so happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

Mark arrived back at the dorm with GOT7's manager, Seunghoon, in tow and expected to be greeted by his fellow members, but was instead greeted by the chaos of bodies rushing from one room to the next. While standing in the vestibule, Mark watched in amusement as Seunghoon walked passed him and towards the bathroom. Yugyeom noticed the older male first as he slipped on his shoes. "We're running late for our English class." "Ah, that's right. I forgot some of you were actually going to take a class for that." He noticed the younger male sidling up to him with a sly look. "Jaebeom hyung is actually getting ready to go out on a group date with his friends from Kondae." Yugyeom wriggled his eyebrows playfully. "They're going to meet some girls from Seouldae." He let out a giggle as Mark nudged him with a smirk. "Jealous that you can't go?"

The youngest shook his head with a small smile as he slipped on his backpack. "Jackson hyung and BamBam aren't here as they went to the gym." "Maybe I'll stop by the company later then." Mark said as he moved out of the vestibule and towards the living room as Yugyeom followed him. "Why?" "Because that's where Jackson and BamBam went." "No. They're downstairs." Mark shot him a puzzled look. "There's a facility downstairs now?" "Yeah." Yugyeom gave the older male a weird look. "You didn't know?" "No. Since when?" "Yeah, well it opened up a week or two ago. Not sure for the actual date, but I'm surprised you didn't know about it." "Yeah, me, too." Mark flopped onto the couch as Youngjae happened to walk by and greet him next. "Hey, Mark hyung. Where's Manager Seunghoon?"

"Hey Youngjae and he's in the bathroom." Youngjae let out a relieved breath. "Okay, good. Hyung still has to drop us off." Youngjae moved to knock on the door. "We're ready to leave when you're done." "I'm not ready yet!" Jinyoung called out from his room within Yugyeom and BamBam's room. "Wait for me." "Sorry, hyung! We're leaving now and we're going to speak better English than you!" Yugyeom teasingly mocked while sitting next to Mark who just smiled at the youngest member's antics. "Shut up, you brat!" Jinyoung yelled emerging into the living room, but didn't see their manager. "Where's Seunghoon hyung?" "Here." Their manager let out with a flat tone as he rubbed his face tiredly. "Don't you kids ever stop yelling?" "No." The four replied with mischievous faces.

"Whatever, let's go." Manager Seunghoon ordered as he walked past the quartet, but turned to look at Mark remembering something. "Oh, Mark, tell the other three not to be out too late, they know their curfew. Also, I'll be at the company if you need me once I drop off these three." "Yes, sir." Mark gave him the O.K. sign with a nod. Jinyoung was the last to leave, but turned around to say something to Mark before actually leaving. "Hyung, please tell Jaebeom hyung not to wear the bucket hat and his large glasses out to his group date. He'll be recognized instantly." "Alright, will do." Mark nodded in confirmation as he then spoke in English. "Have fun." "I will." Jinyoung replied in English with a wide smile before waving the older male a goodbye.

Once Mark shut the door and was on his way to relay the message to Jaebeom, he saw the male walked out of his shared bedroom with Youngjae and laughed upon seeing the male wearing a bucket hat and glasses. "What?" Jaebeom asked upon seeing the older male laughing. "Jinyoung said not tp wear the bucket hat and glasses to your group date." Jaebeom ditched the glasses and put on a face mask instead. "Better?" Mark shrugged. "It's your call." He returned to sitting on the couch with Jaebeom in tow. "You're not afraid you'll get find out by the fans?" Mark asked as he side-glanced the leader. "It hasn't been three years, y'know." Jaebeom shrugged indifferently. "It's just a get-together. Nothing serious. Besides, the guys at Kondae invited me out and I've been turning them down for the past two years and thought why not."

"Hmm, that I can agree to." Mark smiled, but then frown a bit as he looked at Jaebeom. "Just don't do anything reckless as you are the responsible leader that GOT7 and IGOT7s know." "Don't worry, hyung." Jaebeom patted the other male's thigh. "I just need a bit of 'normal' every now and then." Mark nodded as he remembered what their manager had told him. "Oh, Seunghoon hyung told me to remind you to not be out too late. You have a curfew still." "Noted. Thanks." Jaebeom smiled at the male. "So what are you going to do since Coco's with the coordi noona and everyone's out?" "I have homework, but that isn't due until Thursday." "How was it?" "The teacher outed me at the beginning of class." Mark let out a sigh as he shrugged indifferently. "But better sooner than later, I guess."

Jaebeom was now standing up to slip on his shoes. "Ah, so I'm assuming the other students probably wanted to be around you and couldn't stop talking about having an idol in the class, huh?" Jaebeom casually commented which triggered Mark's memory of one classmate who didn't act like so. "Well, there was one person. A female. Her Chinese name was Pǔ Zhōng Lǐ, but I dunno if that's her actual name." "Oh, it's a girl." Jaebeom cooed in a teasing manner as Mark rolled his eyes. "Like I was saying, she seemed chill and acted like I wasn't a celebrity at all. Kind of nice, but weird." "Maybe she did know who you were, but didn't want to appear too eager so that she can get close to you?" "Probably, JB. I do have to say it was nice talking to someone that wasn't another idol, family, or a friend and treated me like I was just a regular person."

"Don't we all want that though? Well, I gotta get going. I was supposed to meet the boys by the Han River." Jaebeom pulled a hoodie over him before looking at Mark with a concern look. "You sure you'll be all right by yourself, hyung?" "I'll be fine." Mark told him as he stood up and followed Jaebeom to the door. "Just don't bring home a stalker. Manager Seunghoon won't like that." Mark teased the younger male as Jaebeom slightly punched the older male in the shoulder. "Like I would let that happen. I am the leader and I won't tarnish that mindlessly. Anyways, I'll see you later. Bye hyung." "Bye, and have fun." The duo bid one another goodbye as Mark shut the door and turned around to look at the empty room with a contented sigh. "Forget homework. I'ma catch up on some sleep."

~~~~~~~

Melanie, Jasmine, and Jeannie neared the gates of Seoul National University to leave when an underclassman, Dayoon, called out to them. "Chaewon unnie! Minjae unnie! Jaehwa unnie!" The trio turned to face their younger friend. "What's up, Dayoon?" Jasmine asked the younger woman when she finally reached them. "Are you still going on that group date of yours with the guys from Kondae?" "Yeah." Melanie replied. "We're heading to meet the rest at Taegukgi." "Do you wanna come?" Jeannie asked as Dayoon frowned. "I wish. I have to meet up with my cousin as she said she had something really important to tell me." "Maybe another time." Jeannie patted the girl on the shoulder. "You won't miss much. The last two have been pretty meh lately." "Och, true." Melanie agreed as the quartet began walking again. "Seolbi keeps setting us up with them arrogant science and engineer majors."

"Highly true, but at least the guys you have 'afters' with want to hang out and not just look for naughty time." Jasmine remarked before making a disgusted look. "That's all I get." "Didn't Seolbi say that this should be the best group date yet?" Jeannie asked trying to remember. "She mentioned that these Konkuk guys are better than the last two." "Well, they better be, or I'm leaving." Melanie grinned as the other older women rolled their eyes playfully. "Speaking of leaving," Dayoon spoke up while looking at the time on her phone, "I really need to get going or my cousin's going to be so upset with me for being late." "Oh, go on ahead then." Jasmine responded as she shooed the younger woman away. "Take care."

Dayoon bid them goodbye before heading in the opposite direction giving the trio their moment to talk in English. "If she knew she had to talk with her cousin, then why did she keep on talking with us?" Jeannie commented as Jasmine cast her younger twin a look. "Because she doesn't have anyone else to hang out with and so she hangs out with us." "Have you guys met her cousin yet?" Melanie as the twin sisters shook their heads. "Me either." Melanie remarked. "Dayoon always mentions that she attends Seouldae, too, but doesn't say who she is or bring her around. I wonder if she's lying." "Doesn't matter to me." Jasmine stated. "As long as she doesn't cause any trouble, then we good." "You're the one that likes to cause trouble, Jasmine." Jeannie eyed her sister. "Remember last semester with you getting drunk and cutting your chin because you tripped over the train tracks?"

"I wasn't drunk I was tipsy and I don't remember how I got to the tracks, Jeannie." Jasmine clarified as Jeannie rolled her eyes. "Exactly." "Anyways, girls," Melanie interrupted their sibling squabble while reading the message that their friend sent in the group chat. "Seolbi changed the meet-up spot and time. She wants us all to meet at a karaoke joint in Sinsa instead at seven." "That's in like three hours. Why?" Jasmine asked as she looked at her own mobile device to check the group chat. "She didn't say." Jeannie said as she skimmed the messages before putting her phone away. "Hey, let's just get ready at Serena's place until it's time. She lives like less than fiften minutes away from Sinsa." "True. Let's go back to the dorms and grab our stuff before heading over there. She'll be home late." Melanie explained as the trio made their way towards their dorm instead.

~~~~~~~

Serena arrived early to her next class as she had misread the initial time. She was greeted by a room that looked more like a kindergarten class instead of a college class for Beginner's English I. Serena smiled at the scene before her as she felt it would be a fun environment to learn and interact. Too busy admiring the place, Serena didn't hear the younger woman calling out to her using her English name. "Hey, Serena." Serena snapped out of her thoughts and faced her friend who she was a teacher's aide for. "Ah, hey, Ana. Sorry about that. I was just checking out the setup you did. Not bad." "Haha, thanks, girl." Ana chuckled as she handed Serena a piece of paper. "Thanks for being my aid this semester. I'm used to teaching younger kids, so this is my first course teaching adults. Your help is greatly appreciated."

"You're welcome." Serena smiled while taking the piece of paper. "Besides, Ana, I still owe it all to my aunt Julisa for everything." "Oh that's right. The same aunt that got you, Melanie, Jeannie, and Jasmine to go to school for free with her amazing connections or something like that." "Haha, yeah something like, just our own expenses for fun and what not. Anyways," Serena looked at the piece of paper seeing a short list of names, "Are these your students?" "Yes it is." Ana smiled before grinning even wider. "Let me see if you find anything interesting." Serena shot the woman a weird look before reading the names, but played indifference while looking at her friend. "Well Ana, seeing Kim Yugyeom, Park Jinyoung, and Choi Youngjae on your students' roster doesn't mean it's the members of GOT7."

Ana's eyes twinkled as her smile grew wider. "Well, that's something as a teacher you wouldn't know as they inform us about such things before class begins." Serena scoffed at the idea. "No way we're this lucky to get to teach idols, Ana." "We are, Serena. Like, I see a lot of them when going out to those fansigns, fanmeets, and other events with the other English teachers, but this is the first time to actually meet under these circumstances." Serena knew her friend wanted to squeal in excitement, but was trying to keep her cool. "OKOK." Serena relented as she handed the paper back to Ana. "Let's remain cool and not freaked them out. I don't wanna get kicked out and lose face for my aunt." "Yeah, yeah, I know. I can't lose my job either. But thanks again for accepting to be my aide." "You're welcome. Now, what do I do as an aide?"

~~~~~~~

When Jeannie, Jasmine, and Melanie arrived at Serena's apartment complex an hour or so later, they relaxed in the living room of the large apartment. "So why is Serena getting out late again?" Jasmine asked while moisturizing her face as she sat on the floor. "She has a late class today. I messaged her." Jeannie commented while looking for something to watch on the screen TV before clicking on the Netflix icon. "She's an English teacher's aide." "Yeah, she's with our friend, Ana." Melanie confirmed after returning from the kitchen with a large bowl of popcorn. "Dude, Serena stocked up on more snacks and drinks." "Did she buy any of those banana milk?" Jasmine asked after she was done moisturizing her face and moved on to applying her makeup. "I think so. I only grabbed the popcorn." Melanie settled next to Jeannie on the couch and placed the bowl onto the coffee table.

"She hasn't organize any of it. They're all stacked and piled near the pantry." Melanie checked her phone when she saw the light flashed indicating she received a message. "Hey, Seolbi said to meet at six-thirty instead." "Well, have fun because I'm not going." Jasmine said while putting on lip-gloss and looking at a compact mirror. "I'm meeting up with Ahri at this new club in Itaewon. She says it's Ladies' Night tonight, and we'll be getting in for free along with half off drinks." "On a Tuesday?" Melanie made a face as Jeannie sang a line from ILOVEMAKONNEN featuring Drake's Tuesday. "Going up on a Tuesday~" She grinned before cliking on Lie To Me. "That's all I know." She faced Melanie. "Yeah, tell the girls I'm not going either." "What? Why not?"

"Not in the mood, plus I have a lot of homework already for the first day. It sucks." Jeannie explained as Melanie made a face while replying back to the group chat. "That means I have to go alone." Melanie checked her phone to see what the others said still making a sour face. "Boo, you guys." "Hey, Melanie, don't forget that you'll be with Dasol and Haeryong, too." Jasmine assured her friend. "They usually make everything fun, especially Haeryong does when you get her to drink enough." "Ugh, don't remind me, Jasmine." Jeannie groaned at the last memory. "She kisses everything and anyone in sight." She shivered at the thought. "I still can't drink lemon soju to this day." "Oh haha, that's right. Ah, that was funny."

Melanie laughed as she popped a few kernels into her mouth. "Anyways, they said it's fine. Another time. Seolbi said two others girls she's friends with wanted to join and so she invited them in your guys' place." She looked at the twins. "So you guys are good and I need to get ready though." "You know you don't have to go, Melanie." Jeannie reminded her friend as Melanie shrugged indifferently. "I know, but I want a boyfriend remember although it's not the biggest priority, but I gotta do something with my love life. And going to these group dates is going to help with that because for some reason I still can't find a man." "Psh, you'll find one, Melanie." Jasmine scoffed. "Just go with the flow." "I know, Jasmine, I know."

Melanie stood up and stretched her limbs. "Well, I need to stop being picky about the guys I wanna date from what Serena has told me." "Yeah, right. Serena doesn't even know what she likes." Jeannie laughed chewing on some popcorn. "She runs away whenever we bring up her K-Pop biases." "She's funny though." Jasmine laughed once she was done with her makeup. "Anyways, I'll be home late or I'll crash over at Ahri's." "Okay." The others replied as Jasmine headed towards the bathroom. "Dasol and Haeryong should be by soon so we can go together." Melanie said as she walked to her room she had at her sister's place leaving Jeannie in the living room as she faced the television screen while letting out a sigh. "Don't wanna do homework." Her eyes casually shifted onto the coffee table where Jeannie saw a bright flyer about the new apartment complex's amenities. "Hmm, a gym?"

~~~~~~~

"Serena." Ana called out to Serena who looked up at her friend after arranging all the desk in to two groups of six as there would be twelve students for the class. "Yeah?" "I need to run down to the library and make more copies. I'll be back." "Okay, but what do I do if the students arrive before you're back?" "Just greet them and tell them I'll be back to start the lesson. Just get them to sign the sign-in sheet and you can explain the syllabus to them." "Alright. Hurry back fast, Ana. I'm not a teacher." "Yes you are, Serena. Be back soon." "Alright, Ana, whatever you say. Later." Serena watched her friend leave as she went back to doing what she was doing. "I'm so glad this is my only teaching job. I'm not accepting anymore after this."

The female finished with the tables before organizing the posters and stands out of boredom when she heard her phone go off signaling that she received a message. "Ah, yeah, I need to silent that again." She made her way to her things, pulled her phone to check the message seeing that it was from Jeannie, Serena then replied back, put it on silent and away just as she heard the door open. Serena looked up and saw two young men walk in. "Hello and welcome." She greeted in English as the male duo smiled back slowly. "Hello." Serena switched to Korean. "You can take a seat at any of the two tables. I'm the teacher's aide and the actual teacher will be back shortly." The duo nodded their head as they sat together at the table. Serena let out a silent breath as she smiled to herself. "Okay that wasn't so bad. Alright, two down and ten more to go."

~~~~~~~

Jeannie went down to the gym several minutes after Jasmine and Melanie had left. She didn't want to work on her homework and thought to pass time with this activity. Despite the gym being a new facility, it wasn't as occupied as she thought it would be. "Okay, less people to run into." Jeannie smiled and slowly headed to the treadmill first. She slipped on her earbuds while adjusting the machine to her own preference. Once that was settled, Jeannie began to move steadily and she briefly glanced up and made eye-contact with a male across from her. It was GOT7's Jackson, but it didn't register in her head on who he was. She quickly averted her gaze away from the male and to the small TV that was hanging above instead.

Half an hour had passed as Jeannie was about to end her session on the treadmill to move onto another machine when she felt an unexpected tap on her shoulder. Curiously turning to her right to see who it was that wanted her attention, she noticed it was the male she had caught eyes with from earlier. Upon closer inspection Jeannie recognized the male and misstep on the treadmill which led her to slip and face-plant onto the machine. It quickly sent her back and off of the machine a few seconds later. Jackson' eyes went wide and he hurriedly got off of his treadmill to tend to Jeannie who was already standing back up while rubbing the sore spots from the fall with a sore face.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked as Jeannie's earbuds had yanked out upon her fall which was how she was able to hear him, but it took her a few seconds to actually pay him any attention. "Um, yeah, yeah. I'm, I'm fine." She answered absentmindedly still rubbing her left elbow. "Just fine." Jeannie then looked at the male and shot him a small smile. "Thanks." She moved around him as her earbuds dangled on her shoulders while leaving the facility and back to Serena's place to make sure she wasn't in serious pain. Jackson was left speechless at her behavior, but he followed after her to make sure she was okay with BamBam who was with him also tagged along who was still laughing at the incident that just occurred a while ago.

The male idol ran ahead of the woman who he had technically caused her accident and stopped before her. Jeannie cast him a confused look. "Sorry, but um, are you sure you don't need to go see a doctor or something like that?" Jackson asked in concern while Jeannie brushed him off casually. "No, it's okay. Really. I just need to go up to my place and I'll be fine. Thanks though." She cast him a reassuring smile as she walked around him and towards the elevators. Jackson just watched her walked off with BamBam coming up and placing an arm on his shoulder. "Maybe she's not a fan?" He reasoned with a shrug as Jackson eyed him. "No, she's a fan. She was wearing our 'Come & Get It' t-shirt."

"I didn't see that." BamBam looked at his fellow member in confusion as Jackson smirked knowingly. "Because it was in the front, BamBam. Anyways, let's go." Jackson ordered as he headed towards the elevators with BamBam in tow. Jeannie entered the elevators and was about to instantly close it when two more bodies entered quickly. Jeannie just cast them a smile while asking them which floor. "Fifth." Both idols stated as Jeannie pressed the button for the same floor as hers. "You also lived on the fifth floor?" She asked them as they nodded their head. "You, too?" BamBam asked as Jeannie nodded her head slowly while Jackson sidled up to her to whisper, "Are you a stalker", and Jeannie just shot him a weird look. "Um, no."

[twdmusicboxmystery]

9x06: Details - A Lot of Them!

Okay, you know how yesterday, I said I didn't have much to say about this episode? Yeah, I lied. I re-watched yesterday, when I wasn't super tired and hadn’t had such a long day, I found TONS to talk about.

And yes, this will be kind of long. 

***As always, spoilers abound for 9x06, so don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Daryl:

Daryl’s tent at the beginning reminded me a lot of the tents we saw in 4x01 and the parking lot at Grady. Just saying.

Of course he was fishing, which I naturally want to relate to Oceanside. But more importantly, we saw him standing in water, and Beth = water.

Then there’s his new poncho. I honestly hadn’t thought too much about it until I saw an edit someone made on IG. They changed his poncho to red and gave it a “Little Red Riding Hood” caption. Now, some of you may remember me doing Little Red Riding Hood posts a long time ago. (X, X) Like, before S6 aired. Mine were based around Red Poncho Guy in 5b. But when I saw that edit, I realized something. We saw a red poncho in Beth’s cell and then Red Poncho Guy in 5b, who Daryl saw briefly and then lost track of. Kinda like Beth. So, what if the red poncho represents Beth’s missing/kidnapped arc? Then maybe Daryl’s green poncho (opposite color) represents that she’s about to return.

I think I've talked about Songbird enough for you to know what I think it means: songbird = Beth and Beth is about to appear.

One thing I didn't talk about it in as much detail as is the walker attached to the tree that Daryl sees. This is a major parallel to the blonde woman he and Aaron saw in 5x15 that was tied to a tree. You’ll notice a pattern as we go along of symbols we saw in S5 and haven’t seen since that are cropping up now in S9. Seems to me like things that happened in S5 are about to come back around.

Michonne:

Michonne finds the van in the woods. The box she digs through is a cigar box, which is a callback to Abraham. But the box itself really reminded us of the music box. The color and size are roughly similar. The things she takes out of it are all highly symbolic.

We see Rick's ring on Michonne’s necklace. (Wedding Ring Theory)

1). The sheriff. I think this could feasibly represent two different things. A) That the new sheriff is about to appear. In other words, it represents Beth. B) Obviously Rick. It definitely represents Rick for Michonne. I think it also foreshadows Rick's return. In a way, she's holding onto this in the same way Daryl holds onto Beth’s knife.

2) The four-leaf clover. (X) Not only is it green, but represents Luck (X), and then there’s all the Irish symbolism, such as Paddy Reilly, etc. Like maybe the person all that symbolism ties to is about to appear.

3) The yo-yo. I totally didn’t catch this when I first watched the episode, but they talked about it on TTD. It must be important if they’re drawing attention to it. The only other time we saw a yo-yo on the show was in S5. They made a big deal about it in the show, but then we never saw it again. The only thing I could think of back then was that, because yo-yos go down and then come back up again, it represented that the person about to go down (Beth) would bounce back up again at some point. Once more, we haven't seen any yo-yos since then. Now, were suddenly seeing one. That's a big deal.

 (I tried and couldn’t get a non-blurry pic of the yo-yo, but it’s red and green.)

Michonne finds toilet paper. See the Toilet Paper theory, plus I talked about this in THIS ASK. I'm not sure what it means but I have a halfhearted forecast for it. I’ve noticed that toilet paper is often seen at the beginning of a long journey. Could that mean a long journey for Michonne? In the comics, Michonne is with Ezekiel rather than Rick. When Ezekiel dies, Michonne leaves TF for a long time. I wonder if they'll keep that arc, but in this case, it's Rick that “died” for Michonne, rather than Ezekiel. If Michonne leaves, that might be what the TP is about. It would also leave leadership of Alexandria wide open.

This is yet another reason why I don't think Ezekiel will die. It could be that Rick's "death" replaced Ezekiel's death, especially where Michonne is concerned. I also noticed that just before this episode, the official TWD account did posts saying, “Who Will Lead?” They had one for each Daryl, Carol, Ezekiel, and Michonne. Asking who will lead is very interesting because it's basically asking who will step into Rick's (or the sheriff's) shoes. 

I found Michonne’s post to be particularly interesting. The caption says, “She’s got what it takes, but what will she choose?” As though she may choose specifically not to lead. I think that will have something to do with her arc this season and I'm interested to see where it goes.

We see that the bridge was never fixed. Again, I need to re-vamp my Bridge Theory, but it’s become clear to me that the bridge represents the community or TF as a whole. Basically, as I said before, it broke when Rick blew up the bridge. It has never been fixed. Which is a symbolic way of saying that the four communities have fractured and have no cohesion anymore. Ezekiel says, "If we could bring the communities back together as full partners…" So, the communities definitely aren’t working together anymore.

Michonne is being very negative in this episode and refuses to give Magna’s group the time of day. I did like the she was sharp as ever and knew Magnet was hiding things, but she's definitely being close minded. Rosita later tells Gabriel that Michonne knows prison doesn't really mean anything and she riled up the crowd on purpose.

We don't really understand the reason for Michonne’s actions until Judith hears her talking to herself.

I breezed over this yesterday, but I think it's important to know what’s she saying when Judith listens in. It's obvious that Michonne is talking to Rick, who she believes is dead. The “him” she mentions is obviously Carl. This is what she says. "Thought I was done with this. Done with talking to you and never hearing you answer. But I watched what you did to protect him…nothing else mattered except him… And I need to be that now for them. And I know it's not what we planned, not what we wanted, but you weren't here. Neither was he. You didn't have to go through the…". At that point, the floorboards creak under Judith and Michonne cuts off.

Okay, a couple of takeaways from this:

1) Michonne is acting as she is because she believes she needs to protect her children at all costs. She’s basically become ruthless Rick in order to protect Judith and RJ. It’s what she believes she needs to do right now, even though it's not the future she and Rick envisioned together.

2) Then there's that last line. Something definitely went down in the six years since Rick left, and from this, it was something that happened after he left because she said he wasn't there for it. I'm willing to bet whatever it is, how she got that X-scar, and also is the reason for what Carol says about people going out and never come back. We just don't know exactly what happened yet.

I wonder if this entire season is going to be full of flashbacks telling us what happened during those six years. I kinda hope so, because essentially what we’ll have to see with Beth. They skipped over whatever happened during those missing 17 days, and they’ll have to go back and show us what it was. So, if the entire season is structured around figuring out something that was skipped, maybe we’ll see other things that have been skipped over as well.

Incidentally, Michonne has done this before: talked to the dead. Remember, she told Rick early on in 3x12, Clear, that she has. “I talk to my dead boyfriend sometimes. It happens.” So I thought it was an interesting continuity of her character to show her doing this with Rick, now. Also a very obvious way to show that she 100% believes he’s dead.

I thought Judith and Michonne’s conversation on the stairs was heartbreaking. It made me sad when Judith said she was starting to forget Rick’s and Carl’s voices. “I’m not trying to, but they keep fading away.” But Judith is a lot like Carl. She’s growing up in this world, so it’s second nature to her. That makes her strong, but also less sentimental and utterly unapologetic about who she is. I’m loving Judith so much!

When we saw the X scar on Michonne, I also noticed a butterfly picture of some kind of butterfly picture on the wall behind her. (Transformation?) 

And the curtains in her room look a LOT like the wallpaper at the funeral home in Alone. They’re black and white, rather than green and yellow, but covered with a very similar bird and vine/tree pattern.

Let's talk about callbacks season four. There's a Council ruling at Alexandria, much as there was in S4 at the prison. Also much like at the prison, there's no clear leader. Remember in S4, the council led because Rick stepped down from leadership. He didn't really become the sheriff again until after disaster struck in the MSF. So, perhaps we won't see the sheriff emerge until then.

It's also interesting to note that Michonne is in pretty much the same place she was in at the start of S4. She's obviously more angry right now, but her horse is almost exactly the same color as the one she rode in 4x01. We even see her ride into Alexandria at the beginning of this episode in a similar fashion. 

So, Michonne isn't really leading. She's going outside the walls a lot and still struggling with things, much as she did in S4. She’s KIND OF leading in name (FG calls her the “head of security”) but hasn’t truly stepped into Rick’s leadership shoes either.

Carol:

Carol sees a flower. My first (and somewhat rebellious) thought was that it's definitely NOT Cherokee Rose (Hehe). But it’s growing up through cracks, which goes with the theme of light coming through the cracks.

Henry calls Ezekiel and Carol Mom and Dad. We also see an entwined-fingers hand hold for Carzekiel. All is right with the world. ;D

They’re holding some kind of fair at the kingdom. Not sure what that's about, but they keep talking about it. Henry leaves with Carol to go to Hilltop and apprentice to Earl (that's the guy that tried to kill Maggie but she ended up letting him out of prison). Henry says he'll be back before the fair starts. Sounds kind of ominous to me.

They also talk about dreamers. Henry is a dreamer. Carol says he gets it from Ezekiel, but it's not a bad thing. And the world could use more dreamers. Beth was most definitely a dreamer. Once again, we’re seeing that Daryl and Carol are very alike, which is why they wouldn't make good romantic partners. They’re too alike. They both need someone more optimistic to complement their tendency toward darkness. I’ll illustrate in a second how much Henry is like Beth.

Ezekiel also makes a point here of saying that Hilltop is distant. Remember in 9x05, Daryl mentioned, just before Rick blew the bridge, that the walker horde had run right through Hilltop? So, I’m thinking Hilltop probably had to be completely rebuilt. I think we can assume it was, because Michonne is taking Magna’s group there. Still, I’m curious to what’s happening at Hilltop these days.

After Jed’s group gets a hold of Carol and Henry, we get a quick look at the vegetables Carol was transporting. They include tomatoes and carrots. I think the tomatoes represent the communities prospering and moving forward. But the carrots? They’ve always been a Beth symbol. Remember, The King of Carrot Flowers from Alone?

Here, we got more information about stuff that's been going on during the six years we don't know about yet. Jed, chewing on a match, says the Sanctuary went bust. Before Rick blew the bridge, they talked about how nothing would grow there, so it’s not surprising it would be defunct now, but still, it’s something else we didn't see.

Jed also said they got hungry and ate horses. Carol says they could have joined the other communities (and several of them did; Laura and some other recognizable saviors are at Alexandria) but obviously Jed and his followers opted for a Negan mentality and don't want to be a part of a community. They’d rather just take people's stuff.

Then Jed said, "You spared me back in the day, so I'll do the same for you." He’s probably referring to when Rick and Carol got the better of them in 9x04, but we still don’t know what happened between Carol and this group in 9x06. The last we saw, shots were fired that brought the walkers toward the bridge and led to Rick blowing it up. I’m wondering if what Carol does to them has to do with her blaming them for Rick’s death. Not sure, though.

Obviously Carol burning the Savior is a callback to S4 with Karen and David as well as to Carol burning Saviors in 6x13.

I’m very curious about what Carol is doing. Even before they were tricked by the saviors, she’d already told Henry they were going somewhere other than Hilltop first. She'd always planned to go visit Daryl, and I wonder why. She must have a reason.

Then we get to Henry and Carol making camp for the night. This is where I became convinced that Henry is something of a Beth proxy. He said, “I don’t get it.” The opposite of Beth’s, “I get it now,” but still. The parallel is there. He also tells Carol, “That’s bullshit.” He’s calling her on her crap, and he’s 100% right because she says she let Jed and the Saviors go, but then goes and kills them while Henry sleeps. Also, Henry and Carol hang cans for an alarm. We saw that prominently with Beth and Daryl in Alone.

I’m kind of thinking we might lose Henry. I hope not, but I just felt an ominousness in his story line this week. There was a lot of emphasis on Carzekiel and him as a family, on keeping him safe. They didn’t like the idea of him going to Hilltop to train with Earl. I really hope I’m wrong, but I’m wondering if we’ll lose Henry, which would put Carol and Ezekiel in a super-dark place again. Let’s hope not.

Rosita, Father Gabriel, & Eugene:

Just for an instant, we see feet running at the beginning of this episode. 

Even though it's just feet that we see (not arms or torsos) it reminded me of the opening credits Beth-flash. In this case, it was Rosita, Aaron, Eugene and Laura looking for Judith.

Eugene carries a deer. This could be an example of the Deer Theory. I'm not sure who it would apply to here, but Luke calls it a buck, so I think it works. Maybe foreshadow of Beth about to appear? Or it may extend into further episodes. Not sure yet.

Magna’s group calls walkers “sickos.” That struck me as hilarious because my 4-year-old nephew is going through a phase where he calls everybody sickos. ;D

They show the passage of time by the length of people's hair. Michonne’s dreads are longer, Daryl's hair has gotten really long in the back, though you can always tell that from the front. 

Obviously, Judith. Eugene is sporting a long braid, Native American-style.

Father Gabriel wants to use a radio to find more people. I noticed a lot of symbolism that we saw in FTWD this past season, and this reminded me of that. This could also be part of the Communications Theme.

Rosita and FG are a couple. I know not everybody is a fan, but I thought they were kinda cute together.

Father Gabriel says, "I think Michonne is wrong. I think they're good people." So, more of Beth's “there still good people” theme. But that's just the beginning. Rosita and FG’s conversation was super interesting.

Talking about the transmitter, Rosita says, "But trying to find people and reach out to them with that thing? It's like stumbling around in the dark." It reminded me of Beth stumbling around in the dark with Noah when they were trying to escape Grady.

FG then answers, "But think what we might find. Who we might find. What else might be out there." So, we have several different references to Beth in the scene. There's the “good people” remark, the “stumbling around in the dark” remark (which may or may not be around about Beth; I may be reaching).

Plus, we had the broken picture in the background. 

Remember this window was broken when FG and Sasha fought over the gun in 5x16. So, yet another S5 reference (we seriously haven’t seen that picture since) plus we’re pretty sure the picture represents Beth. It has white cypress trees and it was shot with a bullet. My point is that we have a lot of Beth references in this scene, and FG says with emphasis, “Just think WHO we might find.” I think that’s super-significant.

So I’m feeling like this relay Eugene and Rosita set up may be how the group comes back into contact with Beth again.

Eugene is trying to get up his courage to tell Rosita how he feels about her. I thought it was interesting that she seemed to want him to tell her as well.

I felt like there was a lot of symbolism in what they said about the walker tracks. They notice hundreds of walker tracks heading East. Eugene is comforted by the fact that he and Rosita need to head west to get to the water towers, where they set up the relay. Then the walker herd ends up coming toward them anyway. Eugene says it must have done a U-turn. I'm assuming that's probably be because the Whisperers are doing something to push the walkers back that way. Still, we have the east-west symbolism.

The more I watch it, the more I think this sequence with Rosita and Eugene is super-significant and a major foreshadowing, which is not necessarily a good thing. First, they’re near graveyard. I had to look two or three times very carefully, but the water towers are directly next to a graveyard. 

So, we have the Communication theme (because of the relay) a water symbol (the towers) and a graveyard that looks a lot like the graveyard in Alone.

We also saw a ladder fall and Eugene hurting his knee. 

We saw a ladder fall around Maggie in S6, and I don’t think we ever nailed down exactly what the ladder symbolizes in TWD. But at the least, it means they're in danger. Maggie almost died when the ladder fell in S6 and Eugene almost died here because the ladder fell.

Okay guys, I’m gonna put an unpopular opinion forth here. I think we saw a lot of foreshadows in this episode that Eugene is going to die. I love Eugene these days, especially his long hair and seeing him as a bad ass, so I don't want him to die, but I'm worried he might. I mean, there's the graveyard, there's him falling and hurting his leg, the ladder, him offering to sacrifice himself for Rosita and trying to admit his undying love for her first. It all felt really ominous to me.

Then there's the fact that they used Rosita and Eugene to introduce the Whisperers. I feel like whoever they used, it was always going to be significant. The could’ve Daryl and Carol to introduce them, Magna’s group, or any character on the show, but they used Rosita and Eugene. So I’m wondering if, rather than Rosita and Ezekiel losing their heads to the Whisperers, it might be Rosita and Eugene. Again, I hope I’m wrong and, you know, nobody else dies EVER on the show, but I feel like that's what they might be telling us. Guess we’ll find out soon whether I’m right or not.

One more thing about this scene with Rosita and Eugene that made my jaw drop, though I’m actually not 100% on it. I noticed at one point, they focused on a shot of Rosita and Eugene’s feet as they ran. And I thought I saw something on the ground. So, I looked more closely. I’m not sure what this is, but there seems to be something metallic on the ground where they’re walking. I even think there might be two things, one on each side, and Rosita and Eugene walk between them. Is it possible that…this is a bear trap? If so, that’s HUGE! It’s a major symbol of Beth that TD has known about for a long time. But again, I’m not positive that’s what it is. Any insights?

Magna’s Group:

We always love music references, and Luke is a music teacher. What really jumped out at me, though, was when they asked him, “Who are you now?” he answers, “I’m still a music teacher.” You know, like “I still sing.”

And we can link the title to Beth as well. Remember when she talked o Daryl in Still, she said, “You gotta stay who you are, not who you were.” So the question, “Who are you, now?” goes along with that theme.

I thought Magna’s prison tattoo was interesting. Michonne said the four dots represented the four walls and in the middle one represented the prisoner inside. It made me think of Four Walls and a Roof (5x03). There's been plenty of conjecture about what the title meant. Maybe the whole time, the idea was that it represented a prison. (Also another callback to S5).

Which brings me to my next point. While arguing against letting Magna’s group stay, Michonne says, "I remember." 1) It has to do with what happened during the six-year time jump that they haven't told us yet. Michonne seems to be referencing a point when they let someone in and it went wrong. Probably the same thing she’s talking to Rick about later. 2) It hearkens back to the title in 5B. 5x12 was called Remember, so yet another reference to S5. 3) Beth said the exact same thing to Daryl in Still. "I remember."

Siddiq says the injured woman in Magna’s group (Miko) has a concussion and is dehydrated, but should be back on her feet soon. That made me think of Beth at Grady because she was also told she had a concussion, which she probably didn't. Can you see the parallels? Miko is part of a group, has a head injury, and wakes up in a new community.

Not sure what my opinion of Magna is yet. So far, she seems like a little bit of a loose cannon. She was about to break into Michonne’s house with the knife necklace. What did she plan to do? It was only when she saw Michonne’s son that she stopped, changed her mind, and went to knock at the front door. Hmm.  

I also caught another theme at this part. When her and Michonne are talking, she says she’s done terrible things. Michonne answers that they all have. It’s the only reason they’re still here. Then Michonne says, “They aren’t always easy to live with.” To which Magna replies, “But it’s better than losing everything.”

I think that will be a theme this season. They have to learn to live with the things they’ve done. It may not be easy, but if they don’t, they could lose everything.

Reasons I think still Rick will be back:

1) In the opening montage, Michonne says, "I'm still here too." The “I'm still here” is a theme we've heard a lot in the show. When someone says it, it means they've survived and are still fighting. Michonne says, "I know you're still here. I'm still here too." She doesn't necessarily mean she thinks is alive, but I feel like it's symbolism that Rick will be back.

2) There's also the 7x12 symbolism. Remember Michonne thought Rick was dead and was utterly devastated, but he came back out through the yellow door (yellow equals escape) and they had a reunion. It's really only a matter time before he shows up again.

Judith and Negan

She reads him her math problem, and we get some more A/B symbolism. She says, “Airplane A and Airplane B are 1000 miles apart. If airplane A is flying east at 500 mph, and Airplane B is flying west at 650 mph…” She doesn't finish the question because Negan cuts her off. If the writers wanted us to hear the question, we would have. The only reason to hear the rest of the problem was to get that A/B and east-west symbolism in. Negan says she should book a seat on Airplane C because it sounds like one hell of a collision.

So, the idea is that these two planes are on a collision course. We have A, which we think represents leadership, and B, which is more like a follower. But we've also thought B might represent Beth and C represents TF and/or where they’re living. So, together with Daryl saying a storm is coming, it seems like a lot of things are about to collide here. Just not sure what form that will take yet.

Negan tells Judith his twisted little story about how he used to bring home stray dogs. Okay, so first of all, DOGS! (Sirius/Dog Star Symbolism). He uses his story to illustrate that even if the people seem to be good, it only takes one to kill everybody. That could most definitely foreshadow something.

Finally, the timeline was really jacked up. We saw three days in the Michonne/Alexandria story line. The first day where Magna’s group is brought to Alexandria, the second day where the trial is held, and then the third day where Michonne offers to take them to Hilltop and they set off.

Carol/Henry only went through two days. We saw them in the morning of the first day when they left the Kingdom and ran into the Saviors, at night, and then the next day where they meet Daryl.

For Rosita and Eugene, we saw only one day, and it wasn’t over yet at the end of the episode. No idea if that will be important moving forward, but I’ll keep an eye on it.

Okay, I’ll shut up now. Lots of setups in this episode for the coming arc. But definitely lots more interesting symbols than I thought there would be. Thoughts?

[bucky-my-barnes]

Preference #1: How You Meet!

Tony:

Walking down the sidewalk minding your own business on the way to work you overhear a loud crash followed by a woman screaming. Throwing your phone in your bag you headed towards the screaming to see if you could help, you were a nurse after all. Upon reaching the scene you see a lady standing over a child who wasn’t moving and a car smoking against a fire hydrant that was spraying everywhere. Leaning down you wanted to tend to the child seeing he wasn’t breathing at all and covered in injuries.

Quickly you started administering CPR not noticing the sounds going on around you as something large clearly landed beside you. Coughing the child gasps for air, turning you see Iron Man next tp you. “Please take him to the hospital, I’ll phone ahead and tell them you are coming!”You pleaded with him taking the child and setting them in his suit covered arms.

Obviously you knew who it was, you did watch the news after all, and there was no one better to help than a Superhero! Seeing him nod and take off the jets thrusting him up into the air. For some reason you couldn’t help but hope you would see him again.

Steve:

A long time ago your parents had become in debt to the wrong people, and now you found yourself forced to be an agent of HYDRA. Not that you wanted to be of course, but it was the only way you could secure your little sisters freedom. Not only did they make you to hurt people, but they also forced you to undergo experiments at their whimsy. Unfortunately none of the powers you developed could hurt anyone, quite the contrary as you found yourself able to speed up cell growth and heal people. It also worked on plants which if you saw nature much might excite or even help you.

Stalking down the corridors doing your usual guard duty since they didn’t trust you to do much else at that point, you heard a loud banging followed by the alarms sounding. A breech was made somewhere, and that meant that you were now very much in danger from whatever force could infiltrate a HYDRA base. Someone wearing a red, white, and blue costume rounded the corner making you feel as if your heart was in your throat. Taking a deep breath you close your eyes and wait for what was going to happen next but nothing came.

“Drop your weapon and I won’t hurt you.”The deep voice rang out firmly causing you to drop it almost immediately. “Come with me you don’t have to do this.”He pleaded the look behind his eyes telling you that he was being truthful.

“I can’t they will take my sister if I leave.”You say biting your lower lip softly before taking off running in the opposite direction dreading the consequences you would face later for not addressing the threat.

Clint:

Coming out of the military, the Army to be specific you had no idea what you were going to do now that you were just a civilian. It felt weird to be out of fatigues and back into jeans but after serving your time and then some you were looking forward to having some sort of semblance of a life. Where the choices you made were your own, and you had a soft bed to sleep in at night especially the same bed every night. However as you walked around your old stomping grounds in New York you felt the ground start to rumble. Suddenly out of almost now where there were Chitauri everywhere to be seen, people screaming and things turning to chaos around you.

Grabbing your pistol out of your ankle holster you knew you only had a good six shots at most in it, so you would only use it when necessary. Quickly you began helping people get out of the way and into a place that would hopefully be safer. One of the creatures decided to try and take you out, so you quickly shot it in the head watching it drop to the ground in front of you. Unfortunately that kept you distracted long enough that you didn’t hear the one land behind you, and it swung out grabbing your leg forcing you into the air.

The next thing you knew you were hurdling towards the ground, an arrow now sticking out of it’s skull killing it immediately. There was nothing you could do but fall from that height and embrace your death… until you felt a pair of warm arms around you effectively catching you. “Falling for me already?”The blonde man asked with a chuckle.

Bruce:

Today was an exciting day because at your university there was going to be a couple of guest speakers to talk about the importance of studying science. While it wasn’t exactly the type of science you were studying which was Environmental Science, it was open to you as a science major. So when you had the chance to listen to two Avengers speak, there was no way you weren’t going to take on that opportunity. Opening the door you knew you were kind of early, but as you had always been taught to be. Taking a seat in the front row you didn’t even acknowledge that they were setting up on the stage.

Looking down at your phone you made sure to let your roommate know that you weren’t going to be home until later because of the talk. Hearing someone clear their throat in front of you jarred you from your current thought. Gazing up your (e/c) eyes met with soft brown ones in return, clearly this was Dr. Bruce Banner standing before you. “You are a little early aren’t you?”He asked with a clear amused expression.

“Well like my Dad always told me, if you are on time, you’re late. I guess it’s still ingrained in me today.”You replied blushing.

“He seems like a wise man.”Bruce chuckled before winking and walking back towards the stage after someone beckoned him.

Thor:

When Jane called you and asked you to help break her and some others into a top secret SHIELD facility you couldn’t believe your ears. So you met up where she asked you to randevu them just outside of the fenced in area. Opening the back of the van you set your tools down and began getting them situated. “Alright so does someone want to explain to me what is going on?”You begin looking to Jane and Darcy with a confused expression.

“Well (Y/N), I think it is best if he explains.”Jane said pointing to a blonde haired man now standing beside you. Curiously you turned your expression towards him to let him speak, although you were taken aback by how handsome he was.

“If I may Lady/Sir (Y/N), my name is Thor, and my hammer Mjolnir is being held captive in there. If I can just get to it, I can prove who I am. We need your help, Lady Jane here says that you are our only hope. Please, I beg of you.”He said falling to his knees before you.

“Thor, as in Norse mythology Thor?”You asked scoffing almost unable to believe his story, but a part of you wanted it to be true. “Alright lock and load, let’s do this before I change my mind.”You sighed leading the way, your bag of tools in tow.

Loki:

Running around with your sister Lady Sif when you were a child it was only natural that you would encounter the Princes’ at some point. It seemed your sister was infatuated with Thor even then, but you didn’t see what she saw. In fact it was Loki that caught your attention, he just had an air about him that appealed to you. You admired his intelligence, and the fact that he could wield magic even though you had never seen it in person.

However you would never utter those words, and you didn’t have to for he read your mind. It was shocking to him that you would prefer his company over his brothers, it wasn’t everyday that people even paid attention to his presence but here you were. “Would you like to accompany me to the gardens and see the flowers?”Loki asked holding out his small hand waiting for you to put yours in it.

“I would love to my Prince.”You smiled taking his hand giving him a little bow/curtsy before following him, your sister long since forgotten. Not that she noticed your disappearance anyway, too caught up in Thor.

Pietro:

It was rather quickly that the two of you met, it was when everyone was fighting Ultron, you being a mutant and in the area you decided to lend your help to the Avengers. Everything was going on so fast but luckily you had the power to slow down time so when you saw a white haired man going to protect another man and a child it was a clear recipe for disaster. Keeping time as slow as possible you teleported over grabbing all of them before teleporting away again, resuming time as normal. The bullets hit the concrete but Wanda didn’t know that she thought her brother was gone ending the fight once and for all.

“Y-You saved me.”Pietro said blinking still not quite sure what had happened but he was grateful to be alive to say the least. “Thank you, I can’t thank you enough.”He blurted out hugging you tightly before letting go.

“Keep out of trouble Speedy.”You chuckled before winking and teleporting back to Xavier’s school.

Peter Parker:

When your father told you he was going to enroll you in Midtown, Peter’s school so you could keep an eye on him it didn’t exactly sit well. Not only was Peter not even aware of your existence, but he had no idea your father wanted someone to watch over him. However when he offered to pay you a pretty penny and offered to finally build you, your own suit you couldn’t pass up that opportunity. He explained to the school who you were, and how you wouldn’t be going by your last name as he didn’t want someone to be able to threaten you if they knew who your father was. Then he requested that Peter be the one to show you around which they quickly agreed to, because let’s face it who turns down Tony Stark?

Leaving you to your own devices to wait for Peter you started to feel bad that he wouldn’t know why you were really there, or who you really were. That all melted away when you saw a cute boy with brown curly hair and a pleasant smile on his face. “Hi I’m Peter Parker, I assume you are (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N)? I’m supposed to be showing you around today if that’s okay, it looks like we have the same schedule.”He said introducing himself holding his hand out for you to shake.

“That’s right, and that would be great Peter thanks!”You said as cheerfully as you could muster on a Monday morning taking his hand.

Bucky:

Tony had called you in to help someone as you had helped him many times before with his PTSD and other issues. When you were on the phone he didn’t sound exactly happy to be helping this person but said it was a personal favor for Steve or as the rest of the world knew him: Captain America. Walking into the building you knew it was serious when you were met with not only Tony but Steve and Sam as well. “Hello boys, to what do I owe the pleasure of being invited to Stark tower?”You ask trying to lighten the mood a little catching on that this was a source of tension so it could only be one person… The Winter Soldier.

“You see we need someone that Bucky can talk to that isn’t an Avenger, he is getting better in some ways and falling back in others. Every night he seems to have nightmares about the things he did for HYDRA and it wasn’t him.”Steve explained getting a scoff from Tony but when Steve glared at him he stuck his hands in the air defensively. Leading the way through the hallways you felt like there was pit in the depths of your stomach, it wasn’t fear...it was curiosity? Obviously you knew who he was and what he had done, specifically to Tony no less. However it was you that made him see the other side of things and brought them together.

Pushing you into a room Tony shut and locked the door behind you. “Well that was a little excessive Anthony.”You said receiving a scoff that almost sounded like a laugh from the other side of the room where Bucky sat. “Sorry he does seem to have a flair for the dramatic after all.”You apologized sitting in the chair across from him earning another scoff in your direction. “Alright let’s get down to business. I’m Dr. (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N), I’m a psychologist, I’m not going to lie about why I am here. Your friends are worried, and I am here to help provided that you want me to.”You explain holding your hand out for him to shake.

“James Barnes, but everyone calls me Bucky.”He said shaking your hand apprehensively.

Sam:

Working as a volunteer for the VA hospital was one of your more rewarding efforts that you had taken on. Ever since your brother was killed in action it was the thing that helped put you back together in the end. Currently you were going around asking people if they needed anything to drink or eat, pushing a snack cart along. Not paying attention you accidentally rammed someone with it rather harshly enough to send the handle back into your stomach. “Oh my goodness I’m so sorry!”You cried out rushing over to help the man off the floor. As he became eye level you couldn’t help but notice how attractive he was, and that didn’t help the blush go away any faster. “I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing, are you alright?”You asked checking him for injuries.

“I’m okay, it’s really no big deal. It’s not everyday that I run into someone like you.”Sam said looking you up and down curiously. “I’m Sam, and it’s nice to see another dedicated volunteer, so much so that you didn’t see me coming.”He joked winking at you.

“I’m (Y/N), and this place really does miracles if you let it, not just for the Veteran’s it serves but for their families too.”You explained with a smile knowing that you could very easily become good friends with Sam.

Natasha:

How you got where you were today, you didn’t know but it wasn’t a happy place to be sure. It was a small dilapidated cell with a rotting mattress on the floor and a chamber pot in the corner. The only thing on the walls were the small tally mark scratches you had started to make just to keep track of the days, not that it mattered. It’s just where they kept you when they weren’t taking your blood, or injecting you with God knows what. Sure you had the power to manipulate the elements but you refused to hurt anyone, and that rubbed them the wrong way. More than once it led to them trying to torture you into using them, and last time it almost worked.

It was only a matter of time before they cracked you, and it was coming sooner rather than later. Hearing the door slam open you jumped and slid to the corner of the cell, even though if they truly wanted to get to you it would do no good. The cell opened and you closed your eyes hoping that the fear you were experiencing didn’t set off your powers. Instead you heard a woman’s voice which was new to you, usually it had been all males. “Are you okay?”The voice called again.

“Please don’t hurt me.”You said softly barely above a whisper, having not used your voice in what felt like years.

“I promise I’m here to help you, my name is Natasha. Let’s get out of here, what do you say to that?”She asked making you smile taking her hand.

“I think my name is (Y/N).”You said trying to recall what your parents had called you as a child for the first time in a long time you felt...safe.

Wanda:

Being the manager for The Avenger’s was fun to say the least, but they did not make it easy by any stretch of the word. Tony called you and the others in because he and Fury were going to introduce the two newest additions to the initiative. Great two more people to chase after to make sure they weren’t doing something they weren’t supposed to do. A PR nightmare in the waiting is what you kept thinking before you walked into the room seeing the most beautiful woman you thought you had ever seen. Clearing your throat you put on a smile and tried not to think about her knowing full well she could read minds after reading her file.

“Ah right on time as always (Y/N)”Tony said with a smile motioning for you to come closer. “This is our manager, so please take it as easy on her as possible. We all make her job so much worse than it has to be I’m afraid.”He said introducing you with a laugh.

“I’m Wanda, and this is my brother Pietro.”The woman said introducing them with a timid smile, one just like it mimicked on her brothers face.

“It’s nice to meet you both, don’t worry I’m sure we will be good friends. I am just here to try and keep you guys out of trouble, or deal with it if you can’t.”You said letting out a giggle, seeing them both physically relax a little seeing that you weren’t a threat of any kind. “It’s definitely understandable to be a little tense after all you have been through, please if you need anything let me know.”You said sincerely.

[liv-andletdie]

Puppy Love

Author: liv-andletdie Rating: Teen and up Pairing: TP Zelink Modern AU Notes: Link is a vet at Ordon Veterinary surgery. Zelda is an Aristocrat with a dog who is sick… surprisingly often. Though nothing seems to be wrong with the poor thing.

Available on Ao3

Chapter 6: The Heart to Heart 

It had been six days, eighteen hours, thirty seven minutes, twenty six seconds and counting since Zelda had left Ordon. Not that Link was keeping track or anything.

In those six days Link had thrown himself into his work. He’d visited the ranch several times to check on the newborn kids, fought with a particularly fractious cat in order to insert an IV catheter, reluctantly listened to a man’s own heartbeat when he informed him that his dog had a similar heart murmur, consoled a woman who was upset that her duck couldn’t swim (despite the fact that it was a cucco and perfectly healthy), and solved the mystery of one feline friend’s disappearing waste (turns out it was relieving itself in the garage).  To say he was exhausted would be an understatement. His only comfort was that, at the end of the day, he could collapse in his bed and sleep until dawn.

So it was surprising that he had given that up in favour of peeling potatoes in Rusl’s kitchen.

To be fair, it wasn’t as if he could just leave. It was a longstanding tradition. Every other week he, Rusl, and Ilia would meet up and have a nice home cooked meal together. This time it was the turn of the elder man to host, and for some reason he had requested that Link be charge of potatoes. It was his job to peel and slice the root vegetables incredibly thin, Ilia had been given the easier job of working with the cucco, and Rusl had the hardest job of all, keeping his rambunctious toddler out of the kitchen while his eleven year old son focused on homework.

Link couldn’t say that he envied him. He envied Ilia. The cucco was far more complicated to prepare than the “dauphinoise potatoes” Uli had requested. All he had to do was cut and peel potatoes, tasks which required very little concentration, giving his mind ample time to fixate on a certain brunette and her stunning blue eyes.

It had been six days, eighteen hours, forty five minutes, twelve seconds and counting since she’d left Ordon, and Link could still hear her parting words, sharp in their formality, cutting through him like a knife.  

Goodbye, Doctor Wolfe

“Uhh, Link?”

Ilia’s soft voice pulled him from his reverie. He turned quickly to face her, blue eyes catching on emerald green. Mischief seemed to burrow in the corner of her lips as she held back a giggle. “I think that potato is fully peeled, don’t you?”

Fighting back the slight confusion at her words, he looked down to the vegetable in his hands. There was a large sloping dent in the side where he’d been relentlessly going over it with the peeler, Potato shavings were all over the cutting board in front of him, and starch coated his fingers and palms. Dropping the peeler on the countertop and the potato in a pile with the others, he turned back to face Ilia.

“Here,” she sighed, handing him a clean kitchen towel from the drawer. He nodded sheepishly in thanks, wiping his hands on the rough towelling before returning to his work. He could hear Ilia moving around behind him, her gentle footsteps echoing like thunder in the silent room. She seemed… frustrated about something, but he couldn’t put his finger on what. He was about to ask her what her issue was when she landed against the countertop beside him.

“You’re going real slow,” She sighed, an overdramatic tone curling over her breath. He fought back his own smile at her act.

“Don’t you got a cucco you need to prepare or something?”

“Cucco’s all done. I’m just waiting on you and your potatoes.”

“Well,” Link gestured lamely to the cutlery drawer behind him. “Get a knife and start cutting ‘em up if I’m so slow.”

Ilia pushed herself away from the counter, the sound of forks and spoons clattering against each other filling the air in her absence. Link knew she was trying to make as much noise as she could. He was always the more quiet of the two, prefering to let Ilia do most of the talking, but even he knew that he’d been a little quieter than normal recently. Ilia appeared beside him once more. She gave him a slight nudge with her elbow, wordlessly asking him to move along a little before beginning her new task.

The two continued to work silently, the quiet hanging heavy in the air. Beside him he could sense Ilia getting more and more wound up, tension seeping into her shoulders, her back going ramrod straight. Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, he could see her chew on her lip before dropping her knife.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s bothering you or do I have to play a guessing game to find out?” She blurted, cheeks immediately going red in a blush. Link felt himself stop in his own task, the peeler falling from his hand to clatter against the counter.

“What?” he breathed. “Ilia... I’m not… There’s nothing-” She cut him off with a raised hand, her shoulders dropping. She looked as exhausted as he felt.

“You’ve been acting off all week,” She started. “You’ve been quiet, more so than usual. You’ve been throwing yourself into your work, sleeping as soon as you get home.” She seemed to get smaller, her body folding in on itself as she lost the strength to stand.  “It ain’t healthy Link. I’m just… I’d understand if you don’t want me prying into your business, but… I’m worried about you. What is it? What’s going on?”

“Ilia it’s… I’m fine”

He wasn’t fine. He was the furthest from fine that he’d ever been, and that was saying something. He was distinctly “Not Fine”. If you were to look up the definition of the word “Fine” in the dictionary you would find, written below in small print, “The very opposite of Doctor Link Wolfe”. It had been a week and he was still wallowing in his sorrows! Sorrows that he wasn’t even sure he deserved to wallow in. So what! He wanted to cry, You didn’t get to take Zelda out for coffee boo hoo. It’s not like she would have wanted to go out with you anyway.

“I’m not fine.”

“I gathered.” Ilia rested a hand against his shoulder, her thumb brushing against his collar bone. She looked ready to launch into a motivational speech, to start telling him that everything was going to be alright, that happiness was just around the corner, and whatever other saccharine phrases she could think of. But instead she simply squeezed his shoulder and fixed him with a sympathetic yet knowing look. “Zelda?”

“That’s so crazy, how did you guess?” He snarked hearing Ilia laugh beside him.

“Well, short of you doodling her name in your notebook, you’ve been sighing like a school kid with a crush for weeks.” She wrapped her arm around his shoulders, pulling him against her side. “Everyone was waiting on you to ask her out. What happened with that?”

“I didn’t ask her out,” He muttered, eyes fixing on the potatoes in front of him. They still needed slicing.

“You didn’t? what?” Ilia gasped, the sound far too loud for his sensitive ears. “Why not?”

“Because, Ilia,” He pulled away from her, craning his head back to try and protect what was left of his hearing. “I never got the chance to! And now I probably never will.”

Ilia put her hands on her hips, fixing him with a confused look. A manicured eyebrow raised slightly as she tilted her head to the side. “I thought you had plenty of chances,” She said, words slow as if she was trying to figure out a difficult puzzle. “You were at her house often enough.”

“That’s different,” he defended, roughly picking up the vegetable he’d abandoned. “I couldn’t ask her out when I was at work. What if she’d said no? Then the whole thing would have been awkward, not to mention creepy.”

“How would it have been creepy?” Ilia asked, trying to focus on her own potatoes.

“It just would have been! Like… imagine you had a dog and you loved it with all your heart. Then you thought the dog got sick and you called the vet and they just flirted with you and asked you out! It’d be weird,” Link roughly peeled the potato in his hand, slamming it down on the chopping board when he was done.

Ilia was silent for a moment, the only sound was the gentle slicing of potatoes. Link was convinced that she’d dropped it, that she was done questioning him about his failed attempts at romance with Zelda Freaking Harkinian, and that she was happy to just focus on the, frankly ridiculous, Dauphinoise potatoes. And then she spoke, her voice soft and full of an innocent and genuine curiosity.

“What about the park?”  

Link fought back a cringe. The park. Oh man, the park. He’d not expected to run into Zelda when he’d gone for a walk. But then Naru found him and he couldn’t just ignore her! What kind of vet would he be if he didn’t return the husky back to her owner? And then Zelda had let him stay and she’d talked to him and he’d had a really, really great time. He’d been so close to asking her out and then…

“What about the park?” He tried not to sound angry as he reached for a knife to help Ilia with her potato slicing.

“Well, that would have been a great time to ask her out,” She explained, her eyes not straying from the food in her hand. “You weren’t technically on duty so it wouldn’t have been…creepy.”

Link brought the knife down on the potato with a little more force than was necessary. The park would have been the perfect place to ask her out, or at least get her number. There was no threat of imminent danger, no awkward work talk, just two adults and a husky in the sunshine. Two, single, adults. Two adults who weren’t in romantic relationships and- why didn’t he just ask her out?!

“I was going to,” he defended, hitting the knife against the chopping board. “Then someone called me about a Goat and I had to leave.”

Ilia at least had the grace to look sheepish. “It’s not my fault! How was I supposed to know you were busy wooing Miss Harkinian?” she reached for a new potato, stifling the giggle that threatened to rise as Link’s ears turned scarlet. “You still had enough time to ask for her number before you left.”

Enough time, Link decided, was a matter of situation. It was relative. If you had ten minutes you had “enough time” to make instant ramen, but you didn’t have “enough time” to eat it. And that’s not even taking into account the amount of time needed to boil the water or get the cutlery out. Even if the packet says “ten minutes” it takes a lot longer than that to accomplish the task to a high standard. Do you have time to make and eat half cooked noodles in ten minutes? Yes, but why would you?

He would admit that, theoretically, he had had “enough time” to ask Zelda for her phone number before he left. It would have been easy to say, “Hey let me get them digits real quick,” before running off, but would it have been successful? No one wants to eat half cooked ramen, and no one wants to get rejected when asking for someone’s number (especially if that person is Zelda Harkinian!) He may have had “enough time” to ask but would he have had “enough time” to get a positive answer?

His head hurt.

Scooping up the potato slices into a bowl, he pointedly refused to look at Ilia. She was waiting for his response, for him to either agree or disagree with her. Link wondered if he had “enough time” to get her to drop the conversation before Rusl came back.

“I didn’t ask for her number,” he muttered, taking his chopping board over to the sink to rinse it. “She asked for mine.”

It probably wasn’t the best thing to say to get Ilia to drop the conversation, but he wasn’t going to deny that it was worth it to hear her excited cry of “NO WAY! REALLY?!” ring out through the kitchen.

“Don’t get too excited,” he warned grabbing the kitchen towel to dry his hands off. “She only wanted my work number.  Y’'know, for emergencies”

Ilia seemed to deflate at his words, shoulders sagging as she let out a mournful sigh. He wasn’t so sure what she had to be upset about, he was the one who almost made a fool of himself in front of the girl he liked (the girl he liked, goodness how childish could he sound?)

“I guess that makes sense,” Ilia muttered to herself as she lined a gratin dish with the potato slices. Link took a step back to let her work, she was better at organising things neatly than he’d ever be, and while the dish would probably taste the same no matter what he still didn’t want to serve Uli and Rusl ugly looking food. “She’s a busy lady, makes sense she’d want to just be able to call up when somethings wrong and…” She froze, potato in hand. Link could see her eyes flicker as she tried to work something out, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. “That ain’t right.”

“What ain’t right?” he asked, leaning against the counter near the sink. Ilia seemed to be still working it out, potatoes and seasoning left abandoned in front of her.

“Well,” she started. “You said she asked for your work number right?”

“Right”

“Okay,” Ilia turned, leaning against the counter to face him. She crossed her arms over her chest, her mouth set in a determined frown. “Did she know that you don’t have a personalised work number? That you just use the surgery’s number?”

Link shrugged. How was he supposed to know what Zelda knew and what she didn’t know? It wasn’t like he’d interrogated her at the park for information or anything. ”I guess” was the best answer he could come up with. “I mean… if she’s called the surgery before, then she’s seen the website and knows I just use the number on there… why are you looking at me like that?”

Ilia’s grin had returned. A marvelous, wonderful, grin that Link was normally in love with… when it wasn’t directed at him. She looked like she was about to burst into laughter or a childish “I told you so” song at the first chance she got. It scared him.

“Say that last part again,” She prompted pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

“If she’s called the surgery before then she’s… oh,” realization hit him like a pile of bricks, knocking him down and pinning him to the kitchen floor. Zelda’s called the surgery before, she has the number. She wasn’t asking for my work number was she? “Oh shit.”

Link heard a loud gasp almost drowned out by the sound of an eleven year old giggling. Turning sharply he saw Rusl enter the room, a disapproving look on his face as he carried his son over his shoulder. Colin, for his part, was laughing so loud that his cheeks had gone pink.

“Language,” he chided, dropping Colin to the floor “we got little ones in the house, Link”

“I’m sorry,” Link muttered, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. Ilia stifled her own laughter behind her palm, ignoring the annoyed look Link shot her way as she went back to work on layering the potatoes in the dish. “I didn’t see you there.”

“It’s alright,” Rusl sighed, moving to put the cucco in the oven. “Just watch out next time.” He clapped Link on the shoulder, giving him a quick squeeze as he moved around him to the cutlery drawer. “How are those potatoes coming?”

“Great, thanks to me,” Ilia smirked, walking over to the fridge to get the cream. Link stuck his tongue out at her as she went past.

“I had it,” He pouted. “I’d have been done by now if it wasn’t for you”

“You’d still be peeling the same potato if it wasn’t for me,” She said as she slammed the door to fridge shut. Rusl gave her a warning look as he handed the cutlery to Colin. “He was too busy pining over his crush,” she explained unable to hold back the shit eating grin that curled over her lips.

“Link’s got a crush?!” Colin exclaimed, pausing in his task of laying the table. His pale blue eyes lit up with mischief and Link felt his blood run cold at the sight. Middle Schoolers, he thought watching Colin’s grin grow with every passing second. They can smell weakness.

“I don’t have a crush!” He lied, feeling like a petulant child as he crossed his arms in a huff. Beside him Rusl let out a bellowing laugh, a hand coming around to hit him squarely between the shoulderblades.

“Who is she, son?” He asked through his chuckles.

“No one!” Link cried “There isn’t anyone...I don’t… I’m not-”

“It’s Miss Harkinian!” Ilia piped up, a musical giggle leaving her lips. Link endured another rough shoulder pat from Rusl. Colin looked confused as he continued setting the table. “She asked for his number,” Ilia continued practically bouncing on her heels. “Tell him what happened, Link”

Link’s blood turned to ice at her words, freezing solid in his veins. Rusl was looking at him expectantly, the once comforting hand on his back now pushing him head first into an awkward situation. He wanted to avoid this, wanted to run and hide but he was sure that the three of them would find him in a heartbeat.

“What happened, Link?” Rusl asked giving him another less than gentle pat to his spine.

Link looked around the room, eyes darting from Ilia to Rusl to Colin. Each of them stared back at him, waiting for him to say something, anything! They reminded him of a pack of wolves on the hunt. Bloodthirsty and ruthless.

“I...I gave...She asked…” He felt his throat dry up, his palms getting sweaty as he clenched his fists. This wasn’t going to be fun, but it would be better to bite the bullet now… wouldn’t it?

“I wanna preface this by saying that she asked for my number in case of an emergency! So before y’all try to make fun of me, just know that I was only doing what she asked.” He swallowed down the lump in his throat, rolling his shoulders back and bracing himself for the incoming onslaught of teasing. “I gave her my business card.”

“Well,” Rusl said, drawing out the word agonisingly slowly. A smirk hid in the corner of his lips, just barely visible as he spoke. “That seems like the right thing to do if she’s asking for your professional number.” The smirk grew larger, the light of it shining in his eyes. “Was she asking for your professional number?”

There it is, Link thought, The question I’ve been asking myself for the past week.

“Yes,” He replied automatically, fixing his gaze on the kitchen floor, his eyes trailing over the grooves between the tiles. It really needed to be swept, perhaps he should do that after dinner to save Uli a job.

“Are you sure?” Colin piped up. He’d seated himself at the head of the table, elbows resting on either side of his plate. He looked innocent enough, all pale blonde hair and baby blue eyes, his chin resting on his open palms while he kicked his legs below the table. A cunning facade, no doubt. But Link knew too much, he’d grown up with him.

“I’m… I’m pretty sure, Colin,” he sighed. He wasn’t sure, far from it. He kept replaying the moment in his head over and over. She’d paused. Zelda had definitely paused. She’d left a space between asking for his number and clarifying that it would only be used in an emergency… had she?… had he?... No. No, it couldn’t be.

“Are you sure you’re sure?” Colin said, matching his father’s smirk. It was a look Link had seen fairly often in the past eleven years. Gotcha.

“Miss Harkinian’s called the surgery before,” Ilia sounded wistful as she carried the potatoes over to the oven. “That’s the one thing that’s confusing me”

“Oh yeah,” Rusl crooned, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “That is confusing.”

Link could feel his father figure stare at him, the smirk no longer hidden as it curled proudly over his lips. “I wonder why she’d need a number she already has?... unless-”

“Alright, I get it!” Link cut in, already exhausted from repeating the conversation with Zelda over and over again in his own head. “I messed up, I had a chance, maybe, and I blew it.”

It hurt to admit it outloud. He’d thought it countless time over the past week, but he’s always followed it up with, It’s not like she was interested in me anyway. It hadn’t made him feel better about the situation but it certainly hadn’t made him feel worse.

But this! The idea that she liked him back, that she wanted him as much as he wanted her, and that he blew it for the both of them. Well, that stung.

Rusl pulled him into a hug, resting his chin on the crown of Link’s head. “You didn’t mess it up” he said, the smirk in his voice replaced with a genuine, if bittersweet, smile. “There’s always a chance you’ll see her again.”

Now that would be something, Link thought as he let himself get pulled into the embrace. A heavy sigh escaping him as he rested his forehead on Rusl’s shoulder. “Shiiiit” a sardonic laugh passed his lips. “There’s always a chance”

“Come on what did I say?” Rusl sighed, his own laugh bubbling up. “Little ears are present”

“Oh it’s okay I’ve heard worse,” Colin called from the table causing Ilia to erupt in giggles and snorts.

“From who!?”

“From Talo. He knows a lot of bad words.” He sounded almost impressed as he leaned back in the chair, balancing it on it’s back legs. Ilia gave him a slight reprimanding look causing him to pull his seat back into the upright position.

Reluctantly, Rusl pulled away from the hug, giving Link another pat on the shoulder as he did so. “I’ll have to have a talk with Jaggle,” he sighed running a hand down his cheek as he turned to his youngest son.` “Go get your mother, let her know dinner will be ready soon.” The three of them watched as Colin raced off, the sound of his footsteps dimming as he ran through the house on his quest.

They rested in near silence for a moment. The only sound was the gentle hum of the oven as their dinner cooked. It was peaceful, calm. The perfect respite after a week of stress and shouting and heartbreak and loss. If Link closed his eyes he could imagine that he was standing in the past, back before he’d ever heard of Zelda Harkinian, back before he’d fallen for her, and back before he’d lost her. He could imagine, for a second, that the ache in his chest wasn’t there, and that it was just another family dinner.

“I meant what I said,” Rusl spoke, voice low as if to preserve the calm that had settled. “There’s always a chance Link. Don’t give up hope just yet.”

<><><>

Actually hyped for this chapter? What happened I got super excited for it! Looks like I'm getting back into my flow at last! Really quite proud at how it turned out and a massive thankyou once again to @electragoob and @andelynk for helping me out, and @zeldasdiaries/ @missdellarosa for being incredibly supportive and wonderful <3

And that's to you all who are sticking with me through this!

We've got one more chapter and then it's the epilogue

[hmstckoriginal]

==> Maid: Contact the Rogue.

[Show Pesterlog]

temporaryPlausible [TP] began pestering lossofMandatory [LM].

TP: Hello. LM: Oh, it’s the Tery copy kid. TP: Actually, Tery is an ectobiological copy of me, but whatever floats your boat. TP: I’ve been meaning to ask you for the longest of time about a certain…idea. LM: Why me? TP: Space is your “turf” right? LM: Hell yeah it fucking is. Ain’t no one better with space than me. LM: Well, maybe Dilyon is but I’ll let that pass. <3 TP: You do realize you don’t have to put on this big girl act around me, right? LM: Huh? TP: I understand that you have a rivalry going on with Tery. TP: But just because we are, technically, related does not make me your rival. LM: … LM: How’d you know? TP: It’s quite obvious from your talk about each other. But I suggest you talk about your… differences… and solve them. It’s key to your success. LM: How come? I think it’s pretty neat the way it is. TP: You mean by your party being split in two halves? TP: Or as your own patron troll put, “two caliginous halves”? LM: We’re functioning just fine. TP: And my “turf” is space. LM: Ugh. LM: Okay, just ask what you need and I’ll see if it can be done… TP: Okay. However, I’m gonna warn you right now… TP: I’m going to spill a lot of facts all at once for you to comprehend the situation we’re in. You already understood the fact that we came before you and that we are all related on a much greater level than blood, correct? LM: Yeah, kind of got the hang of that. TP: The thing that you do not know is the time frame of coming before you. LM: Well, it’s like, what, a few hours back? TP: That is what I was afraid of. TP: Your entire party has come to the conclusion that we simultaneously in the game, at this precise moment in the eternity of space. While time is definitely not my specialty nor is it yours, we can still take it to our level of coherency and say that this precise moment is stretched through the continuum of existence, right? LM: Yeah…? Like, in the year that I’m in now. That’s your year too, isn’t it? TP: Not at all. TP: We’re contacting you from the distant past. TP: However time doesn’t exactly work like that in The Incipisphere. It will not take into account your date of time when you’ve entered, and it most certainly will not continue flowing in that way. There is not way of telling in what moment of time you’re living, the only thing you may know is how many “hours” or “days” it might have passed since your arrival in the game. TP: The game occupies its own space, its own time. A realm of its own. Do you understand? LM: Well…Let’s say that I do. TP: Good. TP: In the moments that I’ve launched the game and entered my Medium, or really in any moment of my whole life, you’ve never existed. And you still do not exist in my plane of existence. Not yet, at least. TP: Again, a loose term since there cannot be “my plane of existence”. But it’s just figurative, I suppose. LM: Wait, so… LM: Basically you’re talking…and I’m talking to someone who never existed in…like… my universe in the first place? TP: Yes. LM: Oh, wow… LM: How did I begin existing then? TP: Through my party activating the scratch. TP: Whoops, sorry. TP: The Scratch. LM: Okay, so more terminology of this fucked up space we’re in. TP: Yes. TP: The Scratch is activated only under specific conditions. If the game any set of players is rendered impossible to beat, there is still hope by activating this. It creates a new reality in which “our” party will be successful in beating the game. TP: However, it won’t be our party and it will never be us. TP: Upon activating The Scratch, we’re erasing any evidence of our existence, of our planet, of our universe from the plane of existence(now correctly used). Instead of us, there will be new individuals loosely related that will inevitably play the game. TP: And win. LM: So I’m like your descendant or something like that? And this game is like an heirloom? TP: Sure, let’s put it that way. LM: Okay but I still don’t understand what you wanted to ask me. TP: Well, we’re going to avoid The Scratch. LM: That’s possible to do? LM: I thought it was like absolutely inevitable, like, no loopholes or anything. TP: Yes, we thought so too but began hatching a plan. We’ve talked to our Denizens in hope of answers but were only greeted with a request. However, the phrasing of the request on its own gave us immense hope. TP: Because of that, we’ve been preparing heavily but, alas, we’ve come to a bump in the road. The request of the Denizens being it. LM: What was it? TP: “When you avoid the scratch, you must take us with you.” LM: Oh. LM: They want to save their asses too, lmfao! TP: Any creature would like to save their asses from absolute wipe out. :) LM: ‘Tis true. LM: What was the plan? TP: We would first all ascend to God Hood. Then, we’d try to set things straight on our Medium, finish the quest and whatnot in order to fully realize our powers. Third, we’d start contacting you to…prevent some things. LM: Like what? TP: Mostly, doomed timelines. TP: We wanted to check if we were in doomed timelines by doing all that we’ve done. The logic behind it is that if our own hatchlings were doomed, then so were we. It’s bizarre that a single decision could end in doom for us all. LM: I don’t see the logic in that. TP: And you’re not a Light player. :) LM: Alright, I’ll trust you on that. LM: So, I’m gonna guess this is where the question comes in place. I’m guessing… LM: Since you don’t have any space manipulation players, or Space players in general, you can’t just magically take the big snakes with you, right? TP: Yes! TP: This was a long shot from our side, to be honest. We’ve tried taking everything in consideration, of how our realities don’t overlap with each other, how we don’t even exist in your space for you to be able to do such a thing… TP: But we stopped theorizing and just decided to ask the actual Space player. Since… LM: Space is my turf. TP: Yes. TP: Do you think you could help us? LM: Well. LM: It never hurts to try. Technically, it once existed and overall still continues to exist, without looking at the time frame. I’m a Rogue of Space, meaning that I can take that space as long as I know what it serves and what it is, or once was. Kind of like how an appearifier works like, if you’ve ever encountered those! TP: How do you suppose you got those sick gloves, hmm? LM: NO WAY. TP: Lol. LM: Oh my god! Okay, okay, now I know what to talk about next but I don’t want to get sidetracked here. TP: Wise choice. LM: The only problem is that… I don’t know if I’ll rip the right space. TP: What? LM: Space and Time heavily rely on each other. They’re two completely opposite concepts but wouldn’t exist without one another. I don’t know if the space I’ll rip will be from my time frame or from any else. It could be possibly that I rip absolutely nothing considering it doesn’t exist right now, OR that I rip it right before The Scratch completely destroys them. LM: And I don’t think that I’ll be able to rip only the Denizens, so I’ll have to take your planets as a whole. TP: That would be the most wanted out come actually. TP: This is fascinating, I must admit… I never imagined that it could be this complicated. Of course, I knew it was moderately hard but…this… It’s making me feel quite excited. LM: Lol nerd! TP: Hey, I’m a Light player. :p LM: That’s just your excuse. TP: Actually, my very own curiosity and knowledge thirst was the thing that appointed me that specific aspect. Therefore, I’d say that it isn’t my excuse but it is what I’ve made of myself. LM: Oh, now that I do think about it, our aspects and our classes are heavily tied with what we are at the core, right? TP: Absolutely. Although, sometimes, the game can be quite cruel and appoint the quite opposite or a heavy challenge to an individual. TP: It all depends, really. LM: Oh and I thought you had all the answers. TP: I’m not a Mage or a Seer of my aspect. :p TP: I mostly utilize my aspect in combat, actually. Or through the strategical part of any operation. LM: I see… Eh, not like I’d fully understand even if you relayed it all to me. TP: Well, I could. That’s what I could do. Put an idea in your mind, or any knowledge or way to do something. Although, I’m not sure I could put in my mastery of it… Hmm… LM: Not like I want it, no offence. TP: None taken, haha. LM: Anyways, when do you want me to try my space thing on your session? TP: Hmm… The appropriate moment would be… TP: When I give you “THE SIGNAL”. :) LM: What’s the signal? TP: You’ll see. TP: I have to go run some errands now. Hope to hear from you if you need anything. LM: Yeah, sure. Good luck with your errands, Gina. TP: Oh, you actually called me by my own name instead of a copy of Tery! LM: Mhmm. LM: I guess I grew fond of you, heh. TP: Likewise, Vicy. TP: Good luck with your own session.

temporaryPlausible [TP] stopped pestering lossofMandatory [LM].

[s-o-n-de-r]

INTERVIEW: Mannequin Pussy on tour with Turnover

Mannequin Pussy, a four-piece in-your-face punk band from Philadelphia, are currently touring with indie-rock purveyors Turnover. 

And despite the genre clash between the two bands, Mannequin Pussy have found a warm welcome on the tour. We talked to them about the tour, new recordings, and more at the Tampa stop on March 31st.

---

Andrew Friedgen: Romantic has been out for a while. Now that the songs have had time to settle, which ones do you feel the closest to? Why?

Marisa Dabice [guitar/vocals]: I still feel very close to “Romantic”. It was the last song that was written for that record, too, so it very easily could have ended up on our next album, but it ended up on Romantic. It’s still one of my favorites to play and sing.

Thanasi Paul [guitar]: I still like playing “Kiss” a lot.

MD: But I’m ready to move on.

TP: Yeah, I think it’s about time.

MD: Our set tonight was pretty heavy on new stuff.

AF: Yeah, I didn’t recognize too many of them. I recognized the Romantic stuff, but are you guys working on a new album?

MD: We were recording before we left for this tour, for about a month. And when we get home from this tour, we’ll be doing the final touches.

AF: And you guys put out that Audiotree last year, right? What was it like recording that?

MD: It was cool!

Bear [bass]: Yeah, it was beautiful. The Audiotree team was really nice to us. They were just like, “Come on in! What do you want to sound like? What do you want to do? Alright: Go on at 1.” It was really chill. Really nice people. Great conversation.

AF: Do you guys feels like it captured your live vibe?

MD: Not really, honestly. It was like a studio setting.

TP: It was us playing “live,” but not the same as playing to an audience.

Bear: Different type of energy. Different type of vibe. I feel like our vibe live is always changing.

AF: What’s it been like to tour with Turnover? What’s the reception been like?

MD: So far, it’s been really good. Whenever you’re on a support gig with two bands that, sonically, represent a different space than you, you always wonder how you’re going to fit in with them. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised. I always have a negative outlook, where I’m like “Everyone is going to hate us. No one is going to buy any merch. Everyone is just going to stare at us in silence,” but it’s actually been very much the opposite.

TP: Yeah, they’ve been very enthusiastic.

AF: So how does a Mannequin Pussy song begin? Is it collaborative, or does one of you come to table with an idea?

MD: Every song is so different. We’d have to go track by track and be like “this one started with Thanasi coming up with guitar part, this one started out with Kaleen and Bear vibing on something together, or myself writing a song and bringing it to practice.” But with this album that we’re coming out with, I’m excited about because it’s the most collaborative that we’ve been, and I think we’ve really found a comfort with writing together that’s elevating our musical abilities. It’s really exciting.

AF: So that kind of touches on my next question, but where do you see the next record going, in terms of sound?

Bear: I feel like we as a band all want to progress together, and this album is a progression of the last album. Without giving too much away, we definitely have some awesome ideas, and we’re working them out. I’m excited for people to hear it when it’s all said and done. I don’t know what they’re going to expect.

MD: It really feels like a true rock record. And there’s a lot of different categories of rock that it falls into. Which is something that I think we’ve always done, and as musicians, it’s always attracted us to each other.

TP: And as fans of music also. We’re all into all sorts of different music.

AF: I was just about to ask about this. Romantic is punk rock at times, but then it slows down, so I was curious what your musical inspirations are for that sort of thing. What do you listen to?

MD: I’ve always said, in terms of more of a stock response, that instead of bands we all listen to or gravitate to, we are a little bit more interested in the human experience. I know that can sound a little too “heady,” but I think it’s true. I think that in your own personal experience going through life, no one person is going to feel the same about things, and no one person is going to feel the same about a situation. And you can look back and change your mind set on it and change the way you feel about it, and I think that Mannequin Pussy is that array of human emotion that a person can feel. Romantic dealt with feelings that came out of experiences, and this new record kind of deals with the experiences themselves.

TP: I don’t really listen to that much music to be totally honest. I play a lot of guitar, but I don’t listen to that much rock music. I’m sure there are some things that subconsciously influence all of us, but I agree with what Marisa is saying. We’re all capable of expressing ourselves through music.

AF: So, Marisa, your lyrics are visceral and intense, on Romantic anyway. I was wondering if you could talk about where they come from, and where do you start a song off, lyrically?

MD: Again, it’s sort of a case-by-case basis. Some songs will write themselves very quickly and the lyrics will all be there. And other songs, especially as we become more collaborative, you have to listen to the song and listen to what emotions are being pulled out of it and ascribe a story to it. It’s been challenging in some respects. But I still write personally. I haven’t really yet gone that route of other songwriters who write about their personal things, but then they start writing about other peoples’ experiences. I haven’t quite gotten there. I haven’t quite gotten over myself. Working towards that.

AF: So, if I’m not mistaken, “Denial” deals with anxiety.

MD: Oh yeah. It’s like having a panic attack.

AF: I speak to a lot of musicians who struggle with that. Do you think anxiety is exacerbated by the pace at which we live today? With social media culture and the “keeping up with the Jones”?

TP: Yes, but I also feel like it is, at root, a survival tactic. And I feel like music is, at least for me, the best way to channel that into something useful instead of just channeling it into itself over and over.

AF: Do you think that artists, generally, are more prone to anxiety, or do you think that art is a way of coping and expressing it?

MD: I think they’re just more honest about it.

TP: I think everyone, to a certain extent, suffers from anxiety. Artists are better at expressing it in a tangible way.

AF: “Meatslave One” deals with smart phone obsession. I’m curious about how you perceive that at shows because it seems every once in a while there will be this big uproar about fans using smart phones too much at shows, i.e. Parker Cannon kicks a girl off stage for taking a selfie.

TP: I would never take a cell phone out at a show. Like, during the set? When you’re in the crowd?

MD: You never take pictures of bands?

TP: No! I don’t do that.

Bear: I would definitely say I’m old fashioned. I don’t hate anyone having their own time. But there are just some thing – I’m 31. I guess I just don’t “get” some things. Because I did things when I was younger that I thought were really cool. But then I got older. It’s fine, but it does suck when you see someone who’s just knee-deep in their phone, and I’m like “Yo, connect with us for a minute.” Because, for me, I do the same thing. I’ll get like 30 seconds of a snap, but after that, I don’t even bother with my phone. Because I do want to look at it later, but I don’t want to dedicate my life to it. You can miss out on so many beautiful things just because you’re looking down at your phone.

AF: So do you think when bands specifically ask people to put away their phones, is that cool, or is more of a “let people do what they want”?

MD: Telling a fan how to experience a show, I don’t want to say crosses a line, because it’s an artist-by-artist thing. It’s a reactionary, learned thing to pull out your phone. If a band wants to, for lack of a better word, “police” the way that their fans interact with a show –

TP: Well, a band is allowed to say whatever the fuck they want on stage, to a certain extent. But as far as that is concerned, it is within their right to say that, whether or not that makes it the correct decision.

AF: Because I hear about some artists now who go on tour and require people to lock up their phones.

Bear: I hear about shit like Jack White saying “if you’re going to my show, I’m taking your phones,” and part of me is like “Alright, dad. We’re going to eat dinner.” I get it, but, at the same time, if someone is just capturing things and that’s how they are, that’s fine. You can’t be like “get the eff out of here! I can’t believe you’re on your phone!”

TP: You can totally say that on stage, though. That’s within your right as a performer.

AF: So after this tour, what are you guys going to be up to next?

MD: Finishing the record.

AF: Do you have a timetable for when it’s going to be out?

MD: Fall, hopefully? As soon as it’s finished, we’ll know.

Connect with Mannequin Pussy on Facebook, Bandcamp, Twitter, or Instagram.

---

Interview conducted by sonder editor Andrew Friedgen. Photos by sonder photographer Alex Marie. Like this? Sonder is an independent music, travel and photography publication at sonderlife.com. Give us a follow here or at our Twitter, Instagram or Facebook if you like this!

Also check out:

Our photos from Lights’ We Were Here tour

Our photo gallery of We Came As Romans

Coast Modern brings surf, psychedelic vibes on the Haunted House Party tour

[fa-nfiction]

A New View, ch. 1

Fuck. Ow.

My nervousness had made me forget that the coffee was, indeed, steaming hot, just like it said on the plastic lid. I clicked my tongue on the roof of my mouth and looked around me in a discreet attempt to see if anyone had seen my accident. Luckily, people went on with their business and paid no attention to me. I looked to my blouse and skirt, anxious to see if some coffee had found its way to either of those, but luckily, that wasn’t the case either. Phew.

I couldn’t for the life of me understand why my nerves were acting this crazy. Sure, the encounter that I was hopefully about to have was not something you’d see every day, and the acts that I was hopefully about to do were not exactly ordinary, either. But still. The guy was a professional. It couldn’t possibly be the strangest request he’d ever received. I looked to my clothes again and fidgeted some more while reassuring myself that the thing I wanted was almost normal. Almost ordinary. If only. 

“Miss … Owen?” A deep voice sounded from behind me, and I quickly turned to look up at its owner. Thankfully, I had put the coffee on the table, or else I would have probably dropped it. He was taller than I’d imagined and I tilted my head all the way tp to see him fully. I nodded and tried to calm my nerves again. He sat down opposite me and put the portfolio on the table. The gesture was so calm and simple, and yet the prospects that it held made my nerves all riled up once again.

“I’m Michael. Pleased to meet you, miss Owen.” He stretched out his hand and I shook it briefly.

“Please call me Lucy, if it’s okay.” My voice came out unintentionally squeaky, but he didn’t seem to react. He simply nodded and smiled.

Naturally, I had seen a picture of him on his website, but he looked way better in real life . He was tall, athletic, with auburn-reddish hair, dusty blue eyes, and gorgeous, chiseled cheekbones. I thought of Jonathan and tried to remember a time when he’d made me catch my breath like this guy did, but discarded the thought as quickly as it appeared. He still does, Lucy. That’s why you’re doing this. To get back on track. To find each other again. I bit my lip and sat up straight.

“Can I get you anything? Water, coffee? A beer, perhaps?” I asked him.

“No, thank you, I just had lunch. Thanks, anyway.” Ever so discreetly, he looked me over slightly. I knew that it was a part of the creative process. He was  making the photographs in his mind.

“I must say, miss Owen-” He leaned back and stretched his long legs as much as the confines space below the coffee table allowed him to.

“- the things we’ve discussed in the mails are not something I see every day.”

I gulped as my reassuring from before fell to the ground.

“Really?”

He smiled in a cool, professional way and I wondered how his genuine smile looked like.

“Really. But it isn’t impossible. At all. Just a bit different from what I normally do.”

I looked around me and felt a knot forming in my stomach. “But is it - is it something you’re willing to do?”

He chuckled slightly and nodded. “Absolutely. I hope you don’t mind me asking this, Lucy … you seem a bit nervous about this.”

Fuuuuck. I forced myself to smile and shook my head hastily. “N-no, I’m not, it’s just-”

“Something new for you as well?” He cocked his head to the side.

I looked down while nodding.

“You could say that. I’m not … I haven’t had someone … professional … take pictures of me before.”

“Ah. I see. Well, I’m sure it will work out just fine.”

I sighed audibly with relief.

“So, do we set a date, or?”

He opened the portfolio and took out his calendar. I noticed some of the photos in it and immediately knew that I had been a little too indiscreet in my attempt to catch a glimpse. I could hear from the soft chuckle coming from him.

“I’ll be more than happy to show you my works, miss. But …” He leaned across the table and I had to catch my breath as I saw the playfulness in his eyes. “- this is hardly the place to do that.”

I swallowed and cleared my throat while trying to smile. It came out rather awkward.

“I trust you. Uh, I mean, I trust your abilities. Skills, that is.” I looked down while mentally kicking myself in the shin.

He chuckled once more and opened his calendar.

“Should we find a date?”

“Uhm … yes. Thursday?”

“Sounds perfect. And does 8 PM suit you?”

I thought about Jonathan. Thursday was one of the evenings when he didn’t have anything planned. I bit my lip and thought fuck it. He always sits at the laptop anyway.

“Perfect.”

“Very well. Let’s exchange some mails beforehand so we’ll find out what you need to bring along with you.”

I cleared my throat of something that wasn’t even there and tried to hide the blush that was creeping from my chest and onwards to my face while I nodded.

“Uh. Sure. Until then, thanks. Uh, bye.” I stuttered while getting up from the table. I left the coffee cup at the table and regretted it just as soon as I’d exited the café.

Get. It. Together. Lucy. I scolded as I turned to make my way back home.

( … )

Thursday arrived. I had packed the few items that Michael wanted me to bring in a knapsack and tried to avoid blushing by just thinking about it. They were relatively harmless, but the reason for my packing them was the exact opposite. I gulped and fidgeted in the couch as I heard Jonathan’s key rustling in the door. I rose up to greet him, as always, and knew that he’d barely look at me in return, as always. I was baffled as he entered the hallway and actually noticed me there.

“Hey, darling!” He had that busy look in his eyes, but also a genuine smile behind it. He was casually dressed today. Grey slacks that fitted him perfectly, black coat with his favourite sweater jotting out above the lapels, and those glasses. Those glasses never failed to drive me crazy. They made him look like some kind of a professor, and my imagination would run wild. Sadly, he had no idea what they did to me. As he pulled me in for a brief hug, I relished in the smell of his cologne and buried my face against his neck. I was going to test my limits tonight. But I was doing it for the sake of us.

“Are you going somewhere? You’re looking great.” He asked, but was already scrolling through something on his phone while making his way to the kitchen.

“Yeah, I’m going … uh, downtown, I’m meeting Minna, it’s-” He had stopped listening. I heard the coffee machine beginning its cycle and I knew that he was gone. Drifted off in his mind, just like always. I pursed my lips together and collected my things before opening the door.

“See ya, darling-” I shouted through the hallway, but didn’t get an answer.

( … )

As he was busy setting up the lights and drapes for the shoots, I sat frozen on the chair that had been set up for me. The air was cold, but that was the least of my problems. We were on an attic in an old apartment complex on the far end of town. I was looking up at the old wooden boards that supported the roof and tried to still my breathing. Michael, of course, was the very definition of professional, and one could tell that he expected the same from me. That’s why I struggled to not let him see how nervous I was. This idea was not something I could ever have concocted in my head on my own. Jonathan was the reason I was doing this. For months, we had been drifting apart, seemingly. He’d work on his laptop until very late at night and then, he’d crash on the couch. We barely even touched, at least not the way we used to do. One day, I had borrowed his laptop to google something, and I had stumbled on some tumblr blog that the browser suggested. Submissive reverie, read the headline. It was filled - utterly filled - with a very special kind of photos. It wasn’t porn per se - or well, some of it was - but mostly, it was beautiful pictures of a whole variety of BDSM related situations. Initially, I had been appalled. But as I visited the page again and again, I suddenly knew why Jonathan had been this distant. We had never really experimented like that. One time, I had put on lingerie, and he had been through the roof. In hindsight, I should have probably done a lot more about that.  But I didn’t, and now, here I was. The idea was to create something along the lines of what I had seen on that tumblr blog. Michael had a whole variety of ideas, and we were doing the first of them right now.

“Right. Miss Owen. Are you comfortable?” He said as he moved behind the large camera in the very end of the room. Furniture had been placed strategically around me, and I could already see that the settings were perfect. I wasn’t, but the settings were.

“Not really.” I tried to smile back at him, but the position I was in made it rather difficult. My hands were mock-cuffed behind the back of the chair, the wood was hard against my almost-naked thighs, and I couldn’t for the life of me get used to the stilettoes I was wearing. They were beautiful, but I was NOT used to wearing shoes this narrow.

“We’ll get the shot and that’s the end of it, don’t worry.” He said while adjusting the lens slightly.

“Now. Can you stretch one leg and bend the other?”

I tried to do what he said but as I did, the stiletto scraped across the wooden floor, making a loud, raspy sound.

“I’m so sorry, it’s … I’m really not used to these shoes.”

“No worries. Me neither.” He winked at me as he left his place behind the camera and moved towards me. “Allow me?”

I nodded, and he adjusted my legs to the position he wanted.

“Can you lean back a little?” He looked up at me from his crouched down position, and I nodded again. My body was tensing up, and I hoped and prayed that he would be done soon.

As he moved back behind the camera, I did my best to lean back. The camera clicked, and the flash blinded me for a second. Click. Click. Flash. As he was seemingly done, I breathed a long sigh of relief and sat back up. I loosened the fake cuffs and rubbed my wrists from where the metal had been. As I looked back at him and prayed in my mind that we were done, his expression baffled me.

“Is something … wrong? Are we done, or?” He looked through the pictures on the camera for a bit longer, before he looked up on me to reply.

“Miss Owen, I-” “Lucy. Please call me Lucy.” I said while rubbing my wrists some more. I wondered if the pain from the cuffs was really there, or if it was all in my mind.

“Lucy.” He breathed in, detached the camera from the tripod, and walked towards me before crouching down at my feet again.

“Lucy, you’re terrified. Or- you look like you’re terrified. And as far as the theme goes, that can be a good thing, but-”

His blue eyes looked up at me, warily, as if to avoid scaring me.

“- you really don’t want to do this, do you?”

Something inside of me seemed to break at the genuine tone of his voice. I thought about Jonathan, and the way I always felt invisible around him. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and Michael took my hand in an attempt to console me.

“No, I- Oh God, no. I don’t. I’m so sorry, I’ve wasted your time.” My voice broke slightly as I tried to hold back the tears that had been suppressed for so long.

“Not at all.” He smiled a wary smile at me, and got back up on his feet. “You should get dressed. We’ll get a cuppa at the café below. They’re open at night.” “A … cuppa?” I was completely confused.

“You need one.” He smiled while he spoke. “I’ll pack up later, come on.”

( … )

“So, let me just get this straight-” He asked. Once again, I looked around the coffee shop to make sure nobody I knew was around. Christ, I’m on edge. Shoulda ordered beer instead.

“This bloke-”

“Jonathan.”

“Jonathan. Right. He was looking at a - tumbler? With pictures in it?”

“It’s a kind of blog.” I replied, with my voice lowered. We might as well have exchanged state secrets.

“Right. And these pictures were the reason you got this idea?”

“Sort of.” And the fact that my boyfriend never looks at me.

“And you’ve never done this before?” He looked at me quizzically.

I shook my head, again checking the coffee shop to see if someone I knew had magically appeared in the last few seconds.

“Neither the photos, nor the - ahem …”

I blushed and shook my head while clutching my coffee cup.

“I’m so sorry that I’ve wasted your time. It’s - It was such a silly idea. You can keep the money for this shoot, it’s no problem, really.”

“I fully intended to.” He smiled a wide, toothy smile at me, making me feel a whole lot less on edge.

“Tell you what.” He put down his pint and leaned forwards, as if he was about to tell me something secretive.

“The way I see it. I think you’d do greatly as a subject for these - for this kind of photos. And it’d be a waste to not do it.”

I gulped a mouthful of lukewarm coffee down and wetted my lips. Suddenly, the whole room felt entirely too hot.

“All I’m saying is … If you’re up for it, and if you trust me, I’ll help you. He’ll like the photos. And hopefully, think twice before … well, spending his life on a blog.”

His eyes looked directly up at me, and the prospect of the idea began to brew in my head.

It can’t be THAT bad. And if it helps us … Michael is right.

“And you don’t mind that I don’t have a clue about it?” I bit my lip as I sent him a skeptical look.

“None at all.” He smiled as he leaned back again and stretched his legs below the table.

“And can I ask something?”

He frowned and returned the skeptical look from before.

“What?”

“If I become uncomfortable, we’ll stop. If I hate the restraints, or-”

“Of course.” He cut my sentence short and shot me a small wink. “You’re safe with me.”

Still confused, but with a new plan brewing, I got up from the table and reached out my hand to greet him goodnight. He did the same, but pulled me a bit closer and went to whisper in my ear.

“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. It will be safe, discreet, and we’ll both get something out of it. Deal?”

“Deal.” I smiled and greeted him goodnight. Time to go back home.

[perception-de-ambiguity]

Twin Peaks: The Return

I find it very telling that the pieces of information that eventually lead to the events of the finale and are relevant in the end largely is information given in the earliest episodes. All the Black Lodge messages: "430", "Richard and Linda", "is it future or is it past", etc. The coordinates that lead Evil Cooper to the Black Lodge were the ones he received from Ray Monroe, which goes all the way back to early in Part 2, which is the scene that introduced us to that whole hunt for coordinates in the first place. Then of course there is all the Judy information that Cole had all along, and really, if you think about it then the Fireman probably could have dumped Evil Cooper at the Twin Peaks sheriff's station anytime he wanted to, given that he could even reach a kid in England and bring him to Twin Peaks. Each subsequent episode moves the story further away from all the issues and questions that we recognize by the end were of relevance, but on ours and Cooper's journey we get the opposite impression, which was that it kept getting closer and closer to what matters. We thought, for example, that Cooper waking up was a question of Cooper successfully and fully taking over the body of Dougie (who was "manufactured for a purpose" - quote: Part 3) when really this meant that Cooper only falls even deeper into the dream. It's like Cooper has to go back to zero, forgetting all that stuff that he got caught up in and got more and more invested in to the point that it seemed like the only true hard reality. He literally didn't see the forest for the trees anymore...or as in his case just one tree. This also could be read as the creators also making a commentary on their own creative process of making it, fearing that they could lose their way. Because clearly they spent some time hearing and reading all the fan theories that went around after the original TP and FWWM, and even if they are too smart and independent-minded to fall into the trap of playing it save and repeating themselves in the name of fan-service, they totally used those ideas, paid them off, subverted them, and just had a lot of fun playing with all those expectations. This however posed the threat of getting too caught up in all that very much in the same way as the audience, turning the series into something that they didn't intend it to be when they started out, when eventually they wouldn’t really do anything of substance anymore with the continuation of TP, but only deal with this feedback loop. Dougie-Cooper, you might say, wakes up from his coma to be "100 percent" when the audience of the show finally starts to put the pieces together and make sense of its inner logic, when they can kind of see where it is going and what the characters need to do, which means that by this time the audience has not only caught up with its creators, but the show has become pure escapism. So the makers have to go back to the start to remind themselves what the project was supposed to be about when they originally started it. Appropriately Agent Cooper isn't only the show's quasi representative for the audience, but as Kyle MacLachlan often said, he modeled the character after Lynch, so Cooper could also be seen as a stand-in for him. One big indicator for me that suggests a collective dream reading of “Twin Peaks”, and certainly what makes a reading of any character being the dreamer too simplistic and at best incomplete, is that instead of being shown the repercussions of saving Laura from a perspective that would make sense for Cooper, Laura, or any other character, it is shown from the perspective that most makes sense from the point of view of the audience, which is replaying the pilot from the beginning exactly as it was, with the one change that was made to the narrative gradually altering the events in the pilot. At the very least the show's creators would have to be the dreamers, but this particular part wouldn't quite make sense from that standpoint either, I’m sure Frost/Lynch don’t wish that they instead had made a series that starts with a guy announcing that he goes fishing, show him walk to the river, and then show him fish. Bottom line is that Cooper’s journey in this season mirrors the audience’s, as well as the creators‘ worries and the potential dangers of turning 'Twin Peaks' into something which they never wanted it to be, though to a degree they embraced them because it gave them a guideline for how to structure the narrative of "The Return", which only fully returns to the relevant issue at the end, but by distracting from it for so long it makes the message all the more powerful, which is to not dwell on the past but to look forward. "The past dictates the future", not the other way around. As hard as it may sound, whatever circumstances are given to you, you have to make the best of them. Be an Ed and Norma and embrace the time you have left, don't mourn all the time you feel you lost. It’s a matter of dealing with the issues, not of finding answers that solve things once and for all. Because answers are just words, it's dealing with the questions and issues as they come that counts, and to never stop doing so, or in other words: Be in the moment, live in the now.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #240

“Death Of A Herobrine, One Pixel”

[CP] After a few days he's traversing the overworld, searching for where his mobs had vanished.  He was baffled by what he had found.  In the server's system, there was no sign of the mobs having even existed ever, which CP knew was wrong, he had spoken with some of the mobs before.  He was so focused on trying to figure out what had happened that he didn't notice the figure which had begun stalking him until an overwhelming sense of dread overtook him.  A growl forms deep in CP's throat as he scans his surroundings- I KNOW YOU'RE THERE!

[NOTCH] - Oh do you?- The cruel NOTCH steps out from the shadows, a diamond blade glittering in his hands

[CP] Growls as he summons both of his weapons only to remember the scarf around his sword, he quickly dismisses the sword- What have you done to my mobs?

[NOTCH] - I had need for test subjects

[CP] Readies himself to attack- Test subjects?  My mobs are not your guinea pigs!

[NOTCH] - Oh but I believe they are, you pathetic excuse.  I suspect your brother is with you, the fact he hasn't alerted me to where you've moved to makes me think that you've finally convinced him to join your side...  Perhaps he needs to be removed as well

[CP] - You won't lay a finger on Stevie

[NOTCH] - Watch me

[CP] Charges forwards swinging his pick at the NOTCH which artfully dodges, keeping the sword at the ready-

[NOTCH] - Was that a sheath I saw on your sword?  Are you hindering yourself now?  It almost appeared to be made from hair!

[CP] - Shut up!

[Notch] Is watching carefully for an opening, knowing he has a better chance of finding one since CP isn't using his sword-

[CP] Swings at the NOTCH's legs and just barely misses, he over stretches himself and the NOTCH strikes quickly, barely scraping CP with the sword, but that's all he needs.  A searing pain erupts through CP where the sword hits and begins spreading across his body.  He hears NOTCH laugh coldly as the being steps away-

[NOTCH] - That should finally take care of you, now to move onto everything you love.  Your mobs were test subjects to finding a new way to remove you.  I'll be ever so glad to see you gone

[CP] Falls to the ground, unable to speak due to pain and he watches as his body begins dissolving, pixel by pixel, his code being unraveled and ripped apart before his very eyes.  It isn't long before he actually passes out from pain, his last conscious thoughts of his wife and begrudgingly, his family, including Markus-

[Lie] Is moving some things in her workroom and just freezes, her mind feeling as if a whip had snapped and broken in her mind, she lets out a scream which can be heard halfway across the village as she collapses to the ground.  She curls up, sobbing loudly and around the outside of the house her black vines erupt and practically smother the house-

[TLOT] Runs to her house

[Steve] Is huffing along a few steps behind him-

[TLOT] Lie! Oh my Gods....LIE!

[Lie] - Can't hear them-

-A few offensive pods move amongst the black vines around her house-

[TLOT] Focuses his mind on getting through to her-

[Lie] Her mind is in confusion and pain, seeking something familiar which had been yanked away-

[TLOT] Grabs Steve as he comes up and tps inside- Lie? Where are you Lie?!

[Hope] Goes rushing past them to look into the workroom-

[Lie] Is just sobbing-

[TLOT] Goes to her and instantly feels the loss -

[Steve] Feels the echo of it through his husband. He doesn't hesitate to run to her and hug her.

[TLOT] Joins his mate- Lie...

[Lie] - I...  I can't feel him...  It....  It just...  Stopped...

[TLOT] Searches hard- But I can still feel him... It's small but present.

[Lie] - It was...  Was just so sudden...

[Steve] Wails- Poor Cp!

[TLOT] Moves his hand over her, expecting the feeling to be coming from the redstone heart, but it's a bit higher. He hovers a hand over her breast and feels the little bump of the pendant- It's coming from here?

[Lie] - I...  I had Doc give me one of his pixels...  After he told me what he might have to do...

[TLOT] Rocks back on his heels. - Ah. Then he isn't lost to us. You just have to be patient. You have everything he needs.

[Lie] - But...  My mind feels so empty...

[TLOT] Give him some time. He just needs to regenerate. You trust Doc's work don't you?

[Lie] - Y-yes...

[TLOT] Hugs her warmly - It'll be alright Lie. Just keep that little piece safe, and you'll have him back.

[Lie] - I just...  Don't want to be alone right now...

[TLOT] You're never alone Lie.

[Steve] We're all here for you.

[TLOT] Just clear away the vines and I think, judging by what I'm feeling outside, you'll soon be the opposite of alone.

[Lie] - Vines?

[Steve] The whole outside of the house is covered Lie...

[Lie] - Oh...- She concentrates and the vines slip away

-There's an immediate bang as the front door swings open and closed-

[Notch] Skids hard on the floor and almost slams into the wall trying to get to her.

[Doc] Runs in the opposite way with Herabrine close on hir heels-

[Herabrine] Lie.....!

[Lie] Sniffles and rubs her eyes clear-

[Notch] Sits next to her- It's okay Lie...

[Doc] A bit urgently- do you have the piece?!

[Lie] - Yeah, I have the piece

[Doc] Thank goodness.... Fuck his fucking NOTCH bastard...- is quite angry-

[Lie] - He...  He knew there was a chance of having to face him...  That's why I asked you to get me the pixel...

[TLOT] Thank goodness for that.

[Doc] I would have done it sooner if he'd been willing. Gods know I've hidden a few pieces of myself just in case.

[Lie] - He...  He figured his NOTCH was behind the new leaders which were emerging, attacking his generals, and then vanishing...

[Doc] I'm not suprised.

[Herabrine] It's not like another brine would go to that much trouble to fuck over one of their own....

[Lie] Sobs softly- It was so sudden...

[Herabrine] At least he didn't suffer...

[TLOT] I know it hurts, but he's not gone.

[Doc] Yeah, he just needs some time to rebuild. Once he's regrown  enough pixels to form a mouth you can feed him stuff to speed it up.

[Hope] Comes closer and mews softly-

[Lie] - How long though?  How long before this pixel finally starts growing?

[Doc] It probably already is. It'll sorta pop into a bigger shape when it hits enough stored pixels to make something substantial.

[Notch] What kind of shape?

[Doc] Honestly, I don't know... when I was really small I think I was probably kind of like a... pac-man? Something very simple. Just a few pixels.

[Lie] Her hands come up to cup the locket and she whispers to it- Please...  Hurry...

[Hope] Crawls into Lie's lap-

[Herabrine] Well... I'm going to make you some dinner Lie.

[Steve] I'll feed the animals!

[Notch] I'll get you a blanket-

[TLOT] I'll be right back with alcohol and bacon. - tps away-

[Doc] Looks around a bit helplessly for a moment- I'm... not going to leave you alone Lie.

[Lie] - Thank you, help me up to my room?

[Doc] Does so -

[Notch] Meets them halfway and drapes a blanket over her shoulders-

[Lie] - Thanks Notch..., guess I probably scared you with that scream...

[Notch] Very much so. I was retrieving an item that fell under my desk and whacked my head on it bolting upright -

[Lie] - Sorry...

[Notch] It's okay. I can't remember what I was reaching for, but it probably wasn't important.

[TLOT] Reappears with a cloud of bacon-y steam, a tray of cinnamon rolls and several bottles of booze. - Rolls courtesy of Sam.

[Lie] - I'll have to thank him later- They reach her room and she sits on the bed which seems a bit to large for comfort at the moment

[Herabrine] Reappears with a huge plate of chicken, it's cooked simply but falling off the bone. - Hey, what's with the breakfast stuff?

[TLOT] Sam sent it over

[Gk] Clatters into the yard wailing - Cp!?!??! Buddy!?

[Lie] Looks out her window and shakes her head-

[Gk] Bangs his horned head on the window- Argh!

[Doc] Gk! Don't hurt yourself!

[TLOT] It'll be okay! We still have a little piece!

[Gk] Is crying anyway- BAWWWW

-There's a bit of a commotion from down in the workrom-

[Steve] Runs up outside and pats his leg- He'll be back. It's okay!

[Gk] Grabs Steve reflexitively and cries on him-

[Doc] Uh... I'm gonna go check on that- Runs off to see-

[Endrea] Is standing at the base of the stairs blocking Winston form going any farther- The Mistress doesn't need to be bothered right now Winston

[Winston] - Endrea, the Master has vanished into nothing.  The Mistress is next in command and should address the mobs, they are panicked and confused right now!

[Doc] Comes up behind her- Winston!

[Winston] - Oh, Doctor.

[Doc] Winston. Lie is really distraught right now. She needs the support of her friends. And Cp isn't gone. He's just in a really diminished state.

[Winston] - Then what are we to do?  The mobs have no idea what to do.  According to one of Eliza's children the Master was merely scratched by NOTCH's sword before he dissolved into nothing.  They are scared about what could happen if that has happened to their Master.  They also want to make sure that they don't lose their other leader!

[Doc] NOTCH did kill him, that is true. But he's recursive because of my alterations. We still have a bit of him he left here as insurance against this very thing. He just needs some time to get back on his feet.

As for the mobs? Do you want me to hide them?

[Winston] - Bringing all of them over here would be a hassle, and without the Master's command they would be rather destructive

[Doc] I wasn't proposing that. But I know you guys move around a lot anyway. I could make a fresh seed next door and you can wreck it up until Cp is back on his feet.

[Winston] - No...  For now I'll do what I can, but please, as soon as the Mistress is able to, please have her come speak to them

[Doc] I'll let her know. Just try to keep everyone else as hidden and safe as you can in the meantime.

[Winston] - I will do what I can- He turns to leave and slips through a portal

[Endrea] Huffs a little-

[Doc] Easy Endrea, you can't really blame him for being upset.

[Endrea] - No, but I am the one contracted to the Mistress, thus part of my job is to protect her

[Doc] Then be there for her please. She's really upset right now.

[Endrea] - I still have my children to watch though, and I believe her room is crowded enough at the moment

[Doc] I understand. - Turns to go back to her-

[Lie] Has eaten some of the food and has managed to stop crying-

[Doc] sits on the edge of the bed-

[TLOT] Has taken up a meditative pose and is trying to spread some calming energy-

[Lie] Jumps a little as she feels the locket twitch-

[Doc] What is it Lie?

[Lie] Pulls the locket out- It twitched...

[Herabrine] Hey Cp? You gonna come out?

[TLOT] Opens one eye-

-The locket twitches again-

[Doc] You might want to take it off and hold it or set it on the bed....

[Lie] Lifts the locket so the string slips off over her head and holds it gently in her hands as the movements become a bit more frequent-

[Doc] Actually, you should probably open it. Just press the side and it'll pop open like a normal locket-

[Lie] Does so and there's a bit of a popping sound as a spawn egg jumps out- A...  A spawn egg?

[Doc] Not a bad shape to rest in while you heal-

[TLOT] Gets up to get a closer look. He runs a hand above the surface. - He is in there....

[Lie] - Thank goodness...- She cradles the egg close to herself

[Gk] sobbing suddenly stops- What the fuck?

[Steve] Let go of me!

[TLOT] Moves his hand in a sweeping gesture. He's mumbling softly soothing words.

-There's a lot of murmuring from outside-

[Doc] Goes to the window. - Umm...

[Lie] - What is it?

[Doc] You should probably see for yourself...

[Lie] Pushes herself up off the bed to look out the window-

-There's a rather large pile of picked flowers on the ground under her window and a great deal of Testificates looking up at her with worried faces-

[Lie] She smiles sadly at them, holding CP's egg a bit closer-

[TLOT] Is letting them know mentally that it will be okay. That Cp was hurt and his wife is upset.

[Testificates] Nodding and offers of help-

[Steve] Comes back upstairs a bit out of breath and damp from being cried on - Whoah... is that?

[Doc] Yes.

[Lie] Returns to the bed and sits down- Yeah

[Notch] Holds up the discarded blanket - Do we need to incubate it?

[Lie] - I don't know,..

[Doc] No. It's just a shell.

[Lie] - Hera...  Would you mind staying here for the time being?  You can build a pen for Maggie in here

[Doc] You don't want to come stay with me?

[Herabrine] Of course. Whatever you need Lie.

[Lie] - I'd rather stay here, but I will call for you if I need you

[Doc] Understood.

[TLOT] Say my name Lie, and I'll be here in a matter of moments.

[Lie] - I know, thank you

[argetcross]

Here a Witch, There a Witch

Witchhood, Celica’s Act 5 arc, and Treatment of Women in Echoes (aka several thousand words of musings. Coherency not guaranteed. Spoilers of course.)

I find the narrative choice of turning Celica into a witch who is then saved by the intervention of Mother Mila a really weirdly interesting one? 

First off, I skimmed the Gaiden script and this doesn't happen. This is probably the weakest part of the whole story for me in Echoes, and, in Gaiden, it's even more confusing.

Jedah: Alm's trapped in Dragon Mountain. You must want to save him.           If that's so, then follow after me.           If you offer yourselves as sacrifices to Lord Doma, Alm's path shall           also open up once more!

Witchhood, the soul of a Branded child, Duma needing both Alm and Celica, all of that isn't spoken about, so it's not certain what exactly Jedah is doing all that time. So it's literally a game device to force you onto a linear Alm path. At the very least, turning Celica into a witch makes a bit more sense if you assume that there's some equal power exchange, which Jedah hints at. Celica's soul, her Brand, her magic, all are things valued by Duma, namely strength. Taking both Celica and Alm’s soul would restore Duma to a sanity and power he’s been lacking for ages. Okay, sure.

The idea of sacrificing your humanity for a love one is supposed to foil to Rinea and Berkut (and to a smaller extent, Jedah and his daughters, probably).  The idea of witchhood is so interesting because you get many different 'witches' in the game. You have those that chose the contract of their own accord (Nuibaba) and kind of exists outside of Jedah's faction. You have the witch sisters, which Sonya says it was Jedah's sacrifice to Duma that turned them to witches, but Jedah counters her, saying they offered up their souls willingly. You have Delthea who for all intents and purposes gets witch like powers when controlled by Tartarah. Finally you have Celica who, even after having her soul offered up to Duma unwillingly, is controlled but also is mentally present enough to tell Alm to kill her.

The idea of men sacrificing women for power is one that happens a lot in this game. The villains, Fernand, Berkut, Jedah, all destroy their relationships with women in their lives and women who reject notably megalomaniac men survive (Sonya, Mathilda). The masculine and feminine dichotomy of Duma and Mila is pretty slanted towards the Father who destroys and the Mother who gives life. This is echoed in the paternal relationships in Echoes (Rudolf + Alm, Lima + Celica) all being quite toxic ones while the maternal ones (Liprica + Celica is the most significant, Mother Mila being redeemed is another example) having positive connotations.

(Side Note: Given the eternal sleep of Duma, Sonya, no matter what her ending suggests, could not have become a witch by offering up her soul to Duma. The ending therefore, one could argue, is simply trying to demonstrate the futility of retrieving souls already sold, and Sonya could have easily taken up residence in Nuibaba's manor with ill rumors abound.)

(Second side note: The time when Alm is saved by Celica's pendant, notably that comes from Celica's mother as one of the gifts. Was it meant to protect Celica against the influence of witches? Lady Liprica did not want Celica to stand in front of Mila - did she fear Celica to lose her soul to not a god but a goddess? Was Celica's giving nature what allowed Alm to succeed even when he wasn't prepared for Duma's true might, possibly crippling her own protection in the self-sacrificial nature she had? The last one is almost certainly a yes.)

You also have quite a bit of 'liberation' through the protagonist's part (Delthea, Mathilda, Celica) in contrast to the hordes of witches that you can't save due to their lost souls to Duma. So why can you save who you can save?

Berkut and Rinea are easily understood. Berkut volunteered himself up to Duma, Rinea, being sacrificed but also unwilling to leave Berkut's side, is unable to be redeemed. Simple enough.

Delthea is controlled not by Duma but by Tartarah and notably against her will. Upon killing Tartarah, she's freed - so attempts to create witches can be thwarted through destroying the arcanist controller. Also- the soul didn't actually get to Duma in this case. Nuibaba did not actually sell her soul to Duma. Her contract was with Medusa and she's referred to as an arcanist despite her witch class.

Marla and Hestia - it's hard to tell if you can believe either Sonya or Jedah's story as the total truth. They were almost certainly coerced on some level, but Hestia mentions that she should have lived her life freely like Sonya. Again, a scrap of her own personality and some hint at a decision she made? It's hard to tell, but it's likely we couldn't save them because again, there was something in their process of becoming a witch they couldn't recover from. Did they make that decision out of their own lust for power? It’s likely.

Now to Celica, the strangest of the potential witches, not only does she get her soul returned to her- it's through stabbing her with the Kingsfang/the Falchion. She gets her soul returned to her despite Jedah being convinced her soul is already devoured. How on earth does Mila have Celica’s soul if Duma has taken it?

Well game logic suggests that by killing Celica, Duma loses her soul. You see this with Berkut and Rinea, in death, they are freed from Duma’s control. Suddenly, Hestia’s last words make sense. Duma’s not all-powerful. 

In the same vein, Mila finally gets over her fear of selling out her brother. Of note, Duma never used the Kingsfang on Mila and Mila never took an advantage to kill her brother. They fought bitterly but they also, like overgrown siblings, never wanted to kill each other. They were, in some ways, too proud and far more concerned with their own interests rather than those of humans’. 

So maybe from this viewpoint, it makes sense how Celica’s self-sacrifice spurs Mila into finally releasing her seal on Falchion and entrusting her brother’s fate to someone who was able to do something she could never bring herself to do - trust in her opposite and sacrifice each other for the greater good. 

Of note, in Gaiden, instead of the witch dialogue, you get this:

Cellica:   It won't work. Judah possesses some mysterious power that's           obstructing all our attacks.           Besides, countless Bigles keep coming to entangle us. We can't even           move anymore.           We're probably already done for...           Sorry, Alm.           I wasn't able to do anything for you after all.           I've had a strange premonition...           A feeling that something terrible will happen to you...           That's why I came this far on a quest to rescue Mila...           That's why, until then, I didn't want you to fight.           Because of that... I acted so cold. I'm sorry... The truth is, I've           always...

This is after the crypt. I mean logically, this is because the game wants you to play as Alm as the hero and Celica now steps into a role similar to Zelda in TP - both a maiden to be saved as well as the wise queenly character to aid the hero. What's interesting is Echoes actually plays up Celica's self-sacrificial nature and her inherent importance, because of the part about giving up her soul. Gaiden's Celica actually makes less sense - she has no plan, she is just feeling defeated and like she failed Alm. Even if Echoes Celica makes a bad decision, she's takes action that makes a lot of sense for Celica at this moment - that is, a Celica abandoned by her goddess and used to bearing a lot of survivor guilt about her existence as princess.

For comparison, the Echoes dialogue goes:

Celica: Back on the island, I had a dream. A dream where something terrible happened to you. So I decided to petition Mila for the strength to protect you. Yet for all my travels, you’ve still faced terrible danger. And you were even forced to end your own father’s life. …I’d seen it all. I knew it was coming, but I couldn’t change a thing. I failed to keep you safe, Alm! Alm: That’s not… Celica, none of what’s happened is your fault. You’re not to blame for any of it! Celica: But I won’t lose you… I won’t let any of you die! I don’t want you to fight Duma. I don’t want anyone to be hurt or killed. That’s my only desire in this life.

Why did Celica believe Jedah? A lot of people kind of groaned when she bargained with Jedah, but I think, stepping back for a moment, looking at how Celica views the gods is important. Even if she doesn't agree with Duma, she still reveres him. Her ending dialogue with Duma is pretty much that. She recognizes what he did for Valentia but seeks to free him from his madness. However, at the beginning, she believed if the gods were lost, the land would become barren and humankind would surely die. She's not at Duma tower to kill gods, she's at Duma tower to retrieve a god and restate the natural order of Valentia. Celica, who was looking for Mila in order to circumvent the sufferings and the destruction of humanity, of course would turn herself into the problem. It's not that she trusted Jedah, but I think Celica at this point had been coping with a vast body of knowledge and pressure about the gods and their effect on the world that Alm never really considered. She makes a hard decision in absence of her own faith and confidence, in her eyes, a choice that would protect everyone.

The problem is Rudolf, in moving against the Duma Faithful, has already broken the Accord and set in motion events that means Celica's mission is a failure. The gods HAVE forsaken her. Mila notably doesn't come to her senses until the two branded children are about to kill each other in front of her. (Honestly, I think the Fire Emblem team has a small fetish for stabbing your loved ones, especially under possession. Awakening flashbacks anyone?)

Celica upon seeing Mila in stone, has a crisis of faith essentially stalls her entire arc. Is this weak writing? Yeah, it really is. Celica’s arc lacks its personal climax. Alm has his Rigelian heritage and Berkut on top of this. Celica’s arc gets absorbed into Alm’s. Celica needed something else to restore her faith in herself, especially after her mental surrender. 

Is the answer faith in loved ones? Partially. That part is already in the game though.

Celica: I do. It’s as Mila said… We’ve had the strength to live and fight for our world this whole time. I lost faith in that somewhere along the way… But right now, it seems the most obvious thing in the world. I trust in mankind like I trust in you, Alm. Absolutely, and without hesitation.

The issue I think that would resolve this best would be actually in how they handle Mila. What would have strengthened Celica's final decision would be Mila reaching out to Celica rather than Alm, acknowledging how it was Celica that uncovered the mystery of where she was, came all the way to save her with her own, very human powers. That her journey to Mila gave her a greater wisdom and understanding of the relationships between gods and men that Alm couldn’t have known. 

Isn't that a kind of strength even the gods couldn't predict?

[jeantparks]

How can we save handicap racing in the Northwest? Take the survey

Friend of Three Sheets and fellow sailor, Kurt Hoehne, is always a great read, as he keeps close tabs on the racing scene throughout the Pacific Northwest, North America and beyond with his website Sailish.com. He’s kind enough to share this report and survey with us in hopes that we can all make sailboat racing in our area the best it can be.

Several months ago I got a call from my friend Andy Schwenk. Andy rolls up his sleeves and spends a lot of time increasing racing participation from “within.” He’s active in Anacortes Yacht Club, the Santa Cruz 27 fleet and, much to the point, as Secretary/Treasurer for PHRF-NW. In the unlikely event you don’t know Andy, he makes his living rigging boats with his Northwest Rigging, so he’s got a vested interest in seeing the sport thrive.

But spend five minutes talking to him and you won’t doubt that it’s not all about business: He’s a true believer in the sport. Many “in the industry” are.

Andy’s concerned. “How can we get more PHRF participation?” he asked. As PHRF treasurer, he was concerned because the number of rated boats has been waning dramatically and has been for a long time. More importantly, the number of sailboats actually leaving the dock to race around here has been nosediving.

Is there a problem?

Yes. If you doubt that, take a look at this past spring’s PSSR (CYC Seattle) registration list. Fifty boats. Twenty eight were in one-design classes, leaving 22 racing PHRF. All that positive spin in the world is not going to change that. PSSC a couple weeks ago had better one-design participation, but two of the handicap classes were three boats each, and one of the other two classes had a rating spread of 126 seconds/mile!

To those of you who have come to sailboat racing lately (bless you by the way), you may be wondering what’s the big deal. There are boats out there, clubs are finding ways to get races off and people are having a good time. But for those of us looking through the rose-tinted and somewhat smoky glasses of the 1970s and 80s, what we see out there now is a shell of what was. Yes, I know that was 40 years ago. But even 20 years ago we’d see ~130 boats.

We old-timers KNOW it’s just a lot more fun with more boats. And more boats also means the sport is sustainable.

Compare the Blakely Rock Races of the late 1970s with todays’. Imagine 300+ boats instead of 60. Imagine re-measuring and re-rating right up until the night before the race. At the beginning of the season, new boats would be on hand in nearly every class, every year. Imagine the number of crew involved as the benefits of stacking the rail became apparent as the boats became lighter.

It was energized.

To many in those days, racing was everything. Now it’s something people squeeze in between hundreds of other obligations. Scaring up even a bare bones crew is often a steep challenge.

And when clubs around the country are desperately trying to maintain solvency, and PHRF certificates drop in numbers, it IS a problem.

Are there positive signs?

You bet there are positive signs.

First of all, handicap is not dead elsewhere. In England, the Fastnet registration limit was reached in a matter of minutes. The Chicago-Mackinac race has about 330 boats, most of which race handicap. Racing is still cool for a lot of people. In our own area the biggest handicap events are races like Round the County, Race to the Straits and Blakely Rock Benefit. Swiftsure still has a healthy entry list but it’s been declining markedly. Southern Straits seems to be holding its numbers.

The ORC racing is a really bright spot. Several years ago many owners in the Puget Sound Big Boat Fleet took serious issue with changes in the PHRF-NW handicaps, and decided to institute the IRC rule at the top end of the fleet. This worked for a while, but not completely. In the meantime the ORC rule was taking root in Vancouver. In the end, the IRC fleet has embraced ORC. This has been cause for great celebration. Racers from both sides of the border can now race against each other without having to deal with any PHRF-NW vs PHRF-BC differences and politics. Moreover, as a measurement system used worldwide, there are no local influences that can be perceived as prejudicial.

At the casual end of the spectrum, one positive sign is the rise of fun races. Obviously, Seattle’s Duck Dodge is the original and greatest fun race, but there are others. Elliott Bay Marina’s Downtown Sailing Series provides nearly 100 crews with free racing, hot dogs and beer. At Charleston they had two “pursuit” classes, where I assume handicaps were figured in the starting times, and only one race per day was sailed.

But there are others that aren’t too casual or too serious. Sloop Tavern YC’s Race to the Straits and Blakely Rock Benefit Regatta are well attended but for many sailors are more about participation than competition. If you turn up with a headsail that would be better utilized as a tent, you don’t feel like you’re out of place. You’re out there and everybody is happy to see you out there.

Finally, the increasing activity in some one-design fleets like the J/105s, Santa Cruz 27s et. al., shows there’s still interest in keelboat racing.

Better Racing, Better Boats and Oldies but Goodies

The quality of racing, both handicap and one-design, has improved at the top end of sport. Certainly the level of proficiency in a national J/70 regatta is huge. If you look at the serious big boat programs nationally and internationally, the degree of professionalism is amazing. Pro level sailors are paid well, and as some have pointed out to me, well worth it when amateurs might not have the chops to sail the new high-powered beasts or even stay safe.

There’s a rise in adventure races, the most prominent being the R2AK. While not exactly adventure races, the Van Isle 360 and Round the County are nothing like out-and-back or windward-leewards. On the international scene, the Golden Globe Race next year will feature 30 sailors in small, full-keel throwback boats racing non-stop around the world.

Another positive sign is the boats themselves. At that high-octane end of the spectrum, the race boats are ridiculously cool. The TP 52s are really great boats. Just watch Smoke , Glory, Kinetic and Mist (nee Valkyrie) speed past. And take the Fast 40 sportboats that haven’t quite made it to the Northwest like the Melges 40, Carkeek 40 etc.

It seems a shame that there aren’t more modern cruiser racers out there. Really good dual purpose boats have been coming out the last couple of decades. J/Boats has the formula pretty well figured out for a boat that can both race and cruise, but so do several European builders like Beneteau, Wauquiez, X-Yachts and Dehler, to name a few. There are plenty of really nice options out there with both more comfort and more speed than was possible a couple of decades ago.

And used boats? Oh my. There are so many good used boats out there that are comfy and competitive it can boggle the mind. And with some sweat equity or cash infusion they could become absolute queens.

Around the world there’s a lot of enthusiasm still for the classics. Around here the 6-meters have a nice pocket of activity, while internationally the J/Class is back in force. 12-Meters are still some of the most beautiful creatures on the water and several lead active and pampered lives on the east coast. And, in what has to be the weirdest trend, in Europe the old IOR quarter-tonners and half-tonners are getting complete overhauls and optimizations costing many times their initial cost and being raced very actively and competitively.

Let’s Change the Culture

So, there ARE positive signs. But the fact remains not enough boats are racing handicap in the Northwest. Will writing about it help? I don’t know. Ignoring the obvious and putting positive spin on everything isn’t helping. Jumping into online forums in places like Sailing Anarchy can be very interesting and informative, but I’m not sure they move us toward solutions.

I have some ideas about what’s wrong, and I’m sure you have even better ideas, which is why I’ve put together a little survey to see what you think are the problems. It’s not controlled or scientific, but hopefully it can provide some insight which I’ll share with the yacht clubs and race organizers. If you have something more to contribute than a few sentences, email me about presenting them as a separate post.

Click Here to take the Survey.

I’ve tried to make it quick and easy, yet cover the big stuff. A couple of notes – there is a big PHRF meeting this Sunday and Andy was hoping to get some preliminary numbers from this survey to initiate discussion at the meeting. So sending it before Sunday would be helpful to him – I’ll get those numbers to him. Also, please forward this post or the survey link to the racers you know, even the ones that don’t race anymore. (We want to get them back in the fold, right?)

Also, I’ve set up a sailish.com forum to talk about these things as the relate specifically to the Northwest. There’s a signup process that I hope isn’t too burdensome.

Cruiser-racer handicap sailboat racing is one of the coolest things we can do. It gets us outside. We can play on a team with folks of the opposite gender. We can include our kids a lot of the time. We can challenge ourselves mentally and physically on an ever-changing playing field. It allows us to use an older boat that might otherwise be just growing a furry bottom.

It’s a shame more people aren’t racing. Let’s see if we can change that in the Northwest.

Read More Here ….

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