#totally dwarfing

[arality]

london trip photo dump (gallery/museum pics omitted for their own post)

literally had the best indian food of my life, the most silly store animatronics and dramatic christmas lights to ever sparkle, and encountered a first edition of dorian gray in the wilde (haha get it. wilde. i’ll see myself out)

[therealsullivan3000]

OHHH YEAHHH RED DWARF TEXTPOST TIME :D

[lordmortimor]

Total War: Warhammer factions as bowls of icecream.

[basil--and--sage]

Some of my other headcanons got some attention, so I thought I'd post some for the rest of the company, starting with Óin:

(Uncle Thorin, part 1, part 2), (Dwalin)

Óin is unflappable, always and in every situation. The house is on fire, somebody is in labour and Orcs are attacking, all at the same time? Óin will sigh, get up from his armchair and deal with it

he has the driest sense of humour

he's painfully forthright, but never cruel

he doesn't talk much and likes being alone

he's deaf in one ear since Azanulbizar and started to use an ear trumpet for his good ear after getting hard of hearing as he aged

he's dedicated to his craft (=asexual)

he takes his profession as a healer and midwife very serious and there is nothing you cannot tell him. He won't judge you and do everthing in his power to help you with your ailments/problems

he's also incredibly discreet, in his profession and in private. Tell Óin your secret and nobody will ever hear about it

he lives with Glóin and his family, though he usually hides away in his room to brood over literature or work on his droughts and medicines

he's very knowledgeable about herbs and healing plants

he is well known for his competencies. If things go south, you get Óin, be it a complicated breech birth or a severe infection. Óin will come and if you are too poor to pay him, you will figure something out together after the patient is better. (he is known to be charitable, one of the reasons he lives with Glóin instead of having his own home)

he's a great dancer

he delivered Fíli, Kíli and Gimli

he doesn't enjoy fighting. He does it, if it's necessary, and he's good at it, but he rather leaves it to the warriors of the family, like his cousin Dwalin

his main reason for joining the quest is to keep his foolish relatives alive

there are rumours that he dropped Gimli during childbirth, but these are nothing but slander! Don't listen to anybody spreading this nonsense, especially not his dimwit of a brother - !!!

(feel free to send requests for other The Hobbit characters or maybe certain situations [we already have uncle Thorin, maybe Thorin in other circumstances etc]. I can't promise I will come up with something, but I will try!)

[fishie34]

this is easily the stupidest fucking thing ive ever made

[sallllltywater]

I cannot ignore this meme tho

[invinciblerodent]

That "least favorite companion" post I referenced earlier today keeps haunting me.

Because... well, it was obvious that many would say Oghren. I expected many to have said Oghren.

But it still makes me a little bit sad just how much of Oghren's depth and potential was lost by him being written as a "comic relief" character that both fell flat, and aged poorly.

I remember, the first time I played Origins when I was like 17-18, I was a bit put off by him immediately: he reminded me of people I knew in real life, and were not people I liked, or was proud to know. I was a little disappointed that I'd have to have him in my party for the last part of "Paragon of Her Kind". But that short little scene, where he first steps out under the open sky...

That scene, I still think about regularly.

The moment he casts off his caste, the last thing he still genuinely had. When he first looks up at the sky, and realizes just how vast and open it is. When he takes that step he knows would mean that he can never go back.

That tiny little scene, less than a minute long, made not just him, but my own Aeducan click for me immediately.

Because Oghren is a clear failure of the caste system. Or better said, a failure of dwarven society, really.

He's a castoff, a reject, a lost cause: a once respected warrior, a famed dwarven berserker and husband to a Paragon, who fell through the cracks because he fell out of his house's favor.

Because he got hit hard by his wife and his whole family leaving him behind. Because he got too hard to deal with, too embarrassing.

So under the carpet he went, in both his own mind and everyone else's.

Oghren's, is... an ordinary tragedy. A story of an everyday struggle for men like him (lonely, middle aged, depressed), with feelings that are quietly shoved to the side, joked about, tamped down by both him, and the people around him- and him not being “likeable”, well... isn't that just the way it usually is? People who are suffering are sometimes genuinely not good people.

And despite his best efforts, I can't bring myself to dislike him. I don't like having him in my party because I don't find him funny like he was clearly intended to be, and a lot of his dialogue, I find deeply frustrating and off-putting (in Origins and Awakening alike), but... I can't bring myself to dislike him.

I just... feel sad for him, more than anything else. Because in a few rare moments, there is loyalty. There's honor. Care. Sadness. Even humor when it's allowed to be there, beneath the very 2009 "sexual harassment is totally funny you guys".

There is a lot to talk about regarding Oghren, starting with mental health, and ending with the typical dwarven mentality being to cut ties with what they perceive to be lost causes (which also goes for Kal-Sharok, really), but... I can't shake this feeling that had he been written a few years later, with a touch slightly more careful than the ones with which he was originally handled, he could have been so much more.

..... Though I suppose there's some poetic irony in how the character who was let down by his people would also be one that was let down by his time.

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Argument

If you think Agi was just going to walk away from *that* argument with Emmrich, then you're very wrong. The big argument and after. SFW.

Agnes stopped as she reached the door of Emmrich’s library. Their argument was not as explosive as it might have been, but it still hurts. It hurts so fucking much. She could still hear his “at your age” ringing in her ears, the words making her heart ache.

No.

She spun quickly to face him, her jaw set. “As I’ve told you several times, I’m thirty. I’m not some stupid, frivolous society girl in Nevarra. Do you know how long I’ve been traveling? How many people I’ve met and befriended? Of course I’ve been around couples with significant age gaps. Yes, there are challenges…” In a few long strides, she reached him and cupped his face in her hands. “But there’s love too. Love and tenderness and care and devotion. All things I want. All things I think you want too.” Her lower lip quivered. “I-I want to fight for us. I want there to be an us to fight for. Whatever life has in store for us I want to face it together, no matter how long or short it is. I love you.”

He choked on a sob before kissing her. Though it was brief, it was also the sweetest, gentlest kiss he’s ever given me. “I love you, my darling Agnes, and I’m so, so sorry. I’ve never not…Please don’t ever think…” He shook his head and pressed his lips to her forehead. “You’re what I hold most dear in this world or any other.” Squeezing his eyes shut, more tears fell. “And it would break my heart knowing I left you alone after I die. Alone and sad, my poor girl.”

Follow your heart, and it will never lead you astray.

Agnes brushed away a few tears with her thumb and sighed. “Oh Emm, I wouldn’t be. I’ll carry your love and memory in my heart. That way I’ll never be alone.”

His eyes opened, wide and with no small amount of disbelief.

She smiled and stroked his cheek. “So long as we’re remembered, then we’re never truly gone.”

Emmrich chuckled softly and leaned into her touch. “Wise words as always, my darling.” I think he may finally get it?!?!?! I hope?!?!?

Agnes snorted. “Wise words from my Da. The man had a million fish jokes and even more words of wisdom.”

He flattened her hand against his cheek and turned his head to press a kiss to her palm. FUCK. I love it when it does that!!! “And yet you articulated his wisdom on this subject beautifully.” The smile on his face shifted into a frown. “I truly am sorry, Agi. I love you most ardently, and I—”

SHUT UP AND KISS ME, EMMRICH.

She kissed him passionately while the hand on his cheek reached for his graying hair. “I love you. I want a life with you.”

He whimpered against her lips, more tears falling. “I want that more than anything, dearest.” His expression further softened. “Please forgive this old fool who loves you.”

Always.

“Of course, Emm.” Agnes sighed, offering him a reassuring smile. “Whatever happens next we face it together, agreed?”

Wait a second.

Maybe I should…

I SHOULD!

She then giggled nervously. “Actually, hold that thought. I, um, well…fuck it.” Rummaging in her pocket, she pulled out a plain gold band. “You wanna wear another ring?”

I am the biggest idiot in Thedas.

Did I really just propose to Emmrich “I Choose My Words Carefully” Volkarin like that?!

SHIT.

FUCK.

He blinked once, twice, and then a third time before saying, “Agi, what—”

“It was Da’s, and I’m…” She laughed breathlessly and felt completely nuts. “Will you marry me, Emmrich?”

An incredulous chuckle escaped him. “Yes, dearest Agnes. Yes, I will marry you!” It was then that the professor laughed heartily and held her in a warm and loving embrace. “How I’ve longed for this. All these years. All these decades. I’m yours, darling. I’m always yours.” He nuzzled her dark red hair and gave her a gentle squeeze. “But I’m afraid I don’t have a ring for you, and for that I must apologize.”

She grinned. “You’ve got like twenty you’re wearing right now, love.”

That earned her a groan. Try to deny it, Emm. Try. “You know precisely what I mean, dearest.”

I can’t help but a little sometimes, love! You’re too cute not to tease. Just a little. Tiny bit. As a treat.

She grinned. “I’m not wrong though! You own more jewelry than I do.”

Humming softly, he maintained his hold on her. He said he loves it when we’re affectionate. “I’ve been in touch with my jeweler in Nevarra City,” he whispered. “I want to have the most beautiful engagement ring made for you. For now though,” Reluctantly releasing her, he stepped back and removed his father’s ring. He’s taking off his father’s ring. His father’s last gift to him. He’s taking it off AND GIVING IT TO ME. “Please accept this ring as a token of my deepest affection and commitment, dearest Agnes.”

As they exchanged rings, she had a few thoughts.

Neither of these rings are sized correctly.

Emmrich has a fuckton of jewelry.

“Hey love, do you happen to have any necklaces or simple chains? I think it might be best if we—”

He placed her father’s band in a pocket on his waistcoat and then touched the tip of her nose with his index finger, grinning. “I had the same thought, my dear. Let me see…” Giving her a quick kiss, he turned to enter his bedroom. “One moment, darling!”

She watched him rummage through his jewelry, smiling.

I love him.

He loves me.

And no matter what, we’ll have each other.

***

“The dagger! Rook, you must break its contact with Ghilan’nain!”

Emmrich had been the one who instructed her to obtain the dagger.

Fool.

Useless, stupid fool of a man.

He stared at the partially completed replica, his necrotic magic weaving through the pieces.

We will get her back.

We must get her back.

For her poor mother, who is firm in her belief that Agi will find her way home. “Because she always does, Emmrich.”

For our friends, who miss her dearly.

For poor Manfred, who looks for her constantly. Calls her name with no answer.

And for me, the one who loves you more than anything in this world or any other. Please, return to me.

The pieces fell onto the table below as he was overcome by wracking sobs.

Please…my love…return to me…please…

***

“HEAVE!”

Agnes Aldwir held onto the jeweled hand that reached for her.

EMMRICH!

She stumbled out of the tear and blinked, several pairs of hands on her.

“Emmrich!” Throwing her arms around his neck, she bit back a sob. “It’s okay, love. I’m here. I made it out.”

The next moment she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Stubble?

More than stubble---that’s a lot of stubble.

He shaves every day.

Wait…

In a hoarse voice, Agnes managed to say, “how long” before her knees buckled, and then her world went black.

***

When Agnes next woke, she found herself lying on Emmrich’s bed with her mother and Emmrich (he shaved and he’s asleep) in chairs on opposite sides. “Mum…”

Luci Aldwir placed her knitting in her basket before practically throwing herself at me. MUM! “Oh Agi, sweetie! Thank goodness you’re awake. We’ve all been so worried about you. The others, especially Emmrich, were working day and night to try to get you back.” She cupped her daughter’s face and blinked back tears. “But I knew you’d find your way home. You always do.”

The mage opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Emmrich’s groaning, stretching his back, as he woke. “My dear…how are you feeling? Do you need anything?”

She turned her head towards him and smiled. You beautiful, wonderful, perfect man. I love you so much. I’m never, ever leaving you again. “I have all I need right here.” He then burst into tears, and she, taking some pity on my poor Emmrich, who feels everything so deeply, reached for one of hands to give it a reassuring squeeze.

Her mother, by now realizing we need a little privacy please, excused herself and exited the room, shaking her head but smiling. Mum loves Emm. “He’s the perfect son-in-law” is what she said when they met the first time. Embarrassing but um, well…accurate.

Agnes gently pulled his hand, whispering, “Come here, love.”

His body was wracked with sobs as he got into bed next to her. “Please forgive me. I-I’m so sorry. I labored constantly, endeavoring to find a way for you to return…but I…I…”

Shaking her head, she laughed softly as she watched him lay his head on her chest. “You did. You found me, and I’m here.” She ran her fingers through his graying locks. “I’m here, love.” He’s still crying. Oh no. Think of something, Agi!! “Solas thought he had me figured out, but he underestimated something very important about me.”

“What’s that, dear?”

The former Veil Jumper grinned. “I am the most stubborn fucker alive.” They both proceeded to laugh, and Agnes pressed kisses into his hair. “Do you honestly think that I’d let that bald twat keep me from you and Mum? Never!”

We’ll never be parted again, love.

I promise.

[freshmangojuice]

for those that didn't see Robert Llewellyn's live stream yesterday, highlights include:

Rant about Elon Musk

Tangential comment on being close to a pope once and him having nice shoes

Repeatedly telling the Kiwis and Aussies to go bed

Confirmed that he hasn't spoken to Rob Grant in many years (HMMM)

Started the stream thinking he'd be on for 5 minutes and then get back to gardening but he streamed for an hour and 20 minutes

[littlemissgeek8]

Even famous serial novelists get writer's block sometimes. No this is not what I did last night instead of writing my fanfic, you can't prove anything.

I would have put a "the" on the page like so many of us end up with, but I figured (correctly) that the common tongue in dragon age is written with different letters/symbols than english and I didn't feel insane enough to go hunting that down right now. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[odo-apologist]

I think Kochanski and McGruder and Todhunter and McIntyre should be friends and hang out together. Just in general I think it'd be a fun concept but also due in no small part to the image of Kochanski post-breakup and McGruder post-one night stand commiserating over their experiences concerning two men who happen to be roommates while Todhunter listens on and thinks about the separate occasions Lister and Rimmer attempted to proposition him while completely smashed and McIntyre tries to delicately broach if any of them could lend him 20 pounds

[eri-pl]

Silm Advent calendar 4: Beard*

Warnings: sort of a small panic attack in PoV. Implications of… well, we are seeing Celebrimbor post-reembodiment. So you can estimate. But only implications.

"I wish I could see them again," said Celebrimbor. "The Dwarves, I mean." It was still somewhat strange to speak with words.

Mahtan smiled. "I wish I could see one of them too."

Right. Great-grandfather hadn't ever met any of the Khazad, obviously. Because he had enough common sense to not leave. Obviously. Celebrimbor looked at him. "I'm sorry."

Mahtan laughed and continued leading him down the stony corridors of Lord Aulë's mansion.

Assuming that he could continue the conversation, Celebrimbor said "I've always wondered, and Narvi too—how it is with beards? Are they something Lord Aulë invented, or...?" He trailed off. It seemed a stupid question.

And yet, his great-grandfather was not offended. He stroked his own—meticulously braided— beard, and spoke. "I've always assumed it was his thing, as I had not grown mine before I became his apprentice. But now of course they say the Men have those too— they do, right? It's not another thing Pengolodh made up?"

"Oh yes, they do have beards. Some quite impressive."

They went down another set of stairs, the corridor was windowless and illuminated with lamps. It felt like home, but safer.

"Mhm. See, Tyelpe, we're somewhat secluded here. Nor Tuor, nor of course Earendil had one, so... Anyway, I'm sure you'll grow it eventually."

"I don't— I mean, the fact that I could work with— Despite everything— It's just so much more than I could ever deserve."

Mahtan laughed again—a deep, rolling laughter that felt in place in those stone halls. "You will need to get accustomed to working with people who aren't— nasty."

The forge noises became louder, discouraging further dialogue. Not long after, they reached an arched gate, leading to a huge workshop, where Maiar and Elves worked, and of course, in the center, the Smith himself.

All the hammers stopped and the room went silent. Celebrimbor bowed deeply, barely daring to look at the Vala.

Lord Aulë smiled. "Come, you two. Mahtan, my friend, we've moved your things already. Tyelperinquar, I'm so glad to see you. I— I still don't understand your kind well, but Mahtan said you won't be offended— it is the best workplace after all." As the two Elves came closer, he spoke more quietly. "As an apology."

In the centre of the forge, next to Lord Aulë's huge, carved stone workbench with mithril top, stood two others, smaller, but even more ornate. One, to which Mahtan walked and began checking the tools, was made of bright white stone carved in intricate geometric patterns, parts of which seemed moveable. The other one — apparently meant for Celebrimbor — was a gold square design of perfect four-fold symmetry, with the tools sorted by size and type. While not dusted—nothing in Aman was—it was long unused, judging from types of the tools. There was a peculiar beauty to it, like—

His head went light and he grasped the edge of the golden table— than let it go immediately— if that was to be his apology, he'd have to bear it— he was better now, after years in Mandos—and yet, the very memory—

Mahtan held him like he used to do when Tyelpe was a small boy visiting his forge with the same fascination as his father and grandfather before.

"Shhh. It's all right. It is all right—" he repeated louder. "He will get over it, just give us a moment." He turned his face back to Celebrimbor, whispering: "It's all right. You don't have to, if you don't want to."

"But…. My apology—"

Great-grandfather held him tighter. "Not your apology, Tyelpe. Lord Aulë meant it as his apology to you. He felt like he owed it, especially as there's nobody else to apologize to you now, I think. But let's not get there. It is— we both thought that it would be a kind of justice to give it to you. I'm sorry. You don't have to."

The tightnes in Celebrimbor's chest slowly dissipated. "No, I— I appreciate it, and it would make him so angry and that's good, just— could I maybe reorder it a little. Not much, just…."

He spoke softly, unsure if it was worse to ask Lord Aulë if he could change the designs of his Maia (well, back then), or to talk in private when he was nearby. but apparently it was not soft enough, as the Vala replied him.

"Of course. You can change anything you like. It's yours."

A few days of work later, when Aulë again returned to his forge, he looked at Celebrimbor's workbench—now not as perfectly symmetrical, and carved in rows of Dwarven runes.

He smiled. "It looks alive. I missed it."

[ask-thearchivists]

Since you’ve already given us your opinions on most of your nieces, nephews, and niblings, could we also get your opinion on your neice the Coordinator?

Uncle Coor: Oh, her? My opinion on her has really turned around during all this! I think she has proven herself to be very intelligent in her research, and dedicated to furthering our studies, and bring Collectors new and exciting knowledge. Not bad for someone who was raised wrong by her useless parent. I thought she was just going to be a Brown Dwarf forever.

The Cartographer: WHAT DID YOU JUST-

The Charmer: Oh, that's so funny coming from a Red Dwarf like you! The evaluation is over right? So maybe it's time for you to head home so you can keep on top of your work.

Uncle Coor: Excuse me? Are you really going to speak to me like that.

The Cartographer is shaking with rage, the Charmer sets a hand on their shoulder to keep them from lunging forward.

The Charmer: I think leaving would be in your best interest, actually. The Cartographer is upset, which means the Curator will be here shortly, and I don't much care for what you've said either!

Uncle Coor's face darkens, but he sings the song to let his children know they are leaving, before turning to leave himself.

[psychidelias]

I propose that the (talkie) sewing machine is an absolute gossip, and tells Kochanski everything that Kryten mumbled about her when he sewed things. Also, has regular banter with the Cat when he makes his suits and Lister when he sews his patches on. And maybe because the sewing machine is used all the time as opposed to talkie toaster, they aren't as butthurt about their job and Rimmer makes conversation occasionally.

[anonymocha]

Café collab is amazing thank you for the food