#totally canon characters now guys /j

[qloof]

i forgor to post this but a bit ago i got my patreon reward from Takafumi Adachi and got Jayce and Voxel drawn 🐬🦊 !! as well as masaking chibis :3 he did lineart and i colored them in !! woe zero-g sillies be upon ye

[the-s1lly-corner]

alright, so i completely understand if you don't wanna do this since you have been getting a lot of tadc requests, so feel free to leave this in your inbox for a while but its worth a shot i guess.

tadc x angel reader? but im not talking about the cute and adoring ones, moresore the bibical angel type. kind of like principalities angels if you know what that is. scary stuff.

thanks for all that you do btw, i love your writing and as a fanfiction writer myself im amazed at how quickly your able to pump out requests

thanks for reading

TADC cast x angel!reader !

took me a hot minute to find it but someone asked for the same/very similar request for zooble so!! that post is going to be linked in place of their segment! yahoo! uhuhuhuh!! admin must admit, he does not know much about actual angel lore so hes gonna be real loose with this </3 aaaand to the last part!! its the silliness... i cant contain it... sobs...

CAINE:

now i dont know what kind of personality the reader has, but imagine your wings stick out and fluff up when he decides hes bold enough to compliment, or even flirt with you... has probably led to him getting smacked by your wings and being sent flying... the price of being small, sadly... though he did kind of have it coming for standing where he was/j

sometimes, you guys fly together, since caine very rarely walks around on the ground and kind of just glides around... its nice having someone who can accompany him around... doesnt think your intimidating, if anything he thinks you look interesting... hes probably unphased by most of the forms circus members may take, though its rare you get someone who does look unsettling... shrugs

POMNI:

honestly probably a little intimidated, and perhaps even unnerved in the beginning. like not in the "im deeply uncomfortable" way but more like "oh. so thats a thing" if that makes sense? does try to be nice and kind to you, though, since she does understand that this isnt what you really look like and you cant really... control it... probably has sneezed from the feathers of your wings, if you have any.. in fact you might have accidentally smacked her with them, since shes so small.. you didnt mean to..! honest! caine and pomni just got cursed with the shortness... no thoughts, only angel reader protectively shielding someone with their wings, this can apply to any of the characters... probably one of my favorite tropes for characters with large wings tbh

RAGATHA:

if you can swap out your clothes or have clothes that are detachable (since clothes are canonically stuck to the bodies) shes definitely going to make you some clothing that you can easily slip over your wings, and still have them out! plus spending time with you making the measurements and trying out patterns and fabric is nice! thinks your wings are soft... probably a little put off by your appearance and vibe at first, but ragatha being ragatha shes not going to let it bother her for long, and she makes sure youre welcomed to the circus with open arms... i mean its not like you have a choice to leave... may as well be as inviting as possible..!

JAX:

drum roll please! its the admins favorite jax headcannon that always rears its head in whenever the admin writes a reader who has some extra body part or fluff or accessories or a combination! the fidget/fiddle headcannon! this man is likely going to stroke and mess with your wings, a lot. congrats, youre his new fidget toy/j. has probably accidentally, or perhaps no so accidentally, pulled a feather out. granted im not sure how much it would hurt, i think it would be akin to plucking hair with a tweezer, but the point still stands..! has probably asked you to fly him up somewhere... totally not so he can do some mischief... probably doesnt know much about angels (like the admin LMAO) and probably labels you as like. sterotypical cartoon angel personality (forgiving, kind, good, ect. basically everything that isnt jax/j) but whether or not thats true its up to you... though it would be a little funny for the person who looks like an angel being a trickster... shrugs

KINGER:

FEAR!!! okay... well i think thats a given when theres a new circus member around, since kinger is a little... eh... you know? probably takes some time to warm up to you, but given how he speaks to pomni in the pilot within the first few minutes of her being there, i dont think it would take long for him to approach you. definitely polite, probably even more so thanks to your angelic appearance. mmngh.. soft feathers... shares the jax fidget headcannon with the silly chess piece... bonus if you actually are really kind and protective, this man would be hovering around you since you kind of represent comfort to him... thinks...

ZOOBLE:

right here!

GANGLE:

while most of the others are a little intimidated i think gangle actually likes the aesthetics of angels. maybe thats just the artist in her; like every artist ive met either has a soft spot for angel or demon characters... sometimes both.. admins no exception, its like. mandatory artist trait/j

i had a winged reader request somewhere, where gangle puts the readers fallen feathers into art work and gifts it to them. kind of like how people used to put the hair of their loved ones in jewelry... i think that would also apply to an angel reader! similar to kinger, if youre protective shes going to gravitate towards you... given that shes made of ribbon and fragile... and because of SOOOOOMEONE (glares at jax)... very nice dynamic/relationship material here, me thinks

[literallyjusttoa]

Hey guys! I'm putting out a call for my commissions again for two big reasons: One, Emergencies have caused me to be low on funds when I wasn't expecting it, and that kind of sucks actually. Two, I have a project that I've been dreaming about for years but have actually been able to start working towards in the last couple of months, but to finish it I need to not be living paycheck to paycheck for like a month at the very least, which brings me back to point one :(. I will talk more about the big project under the cut, bc I think it's something you all might really enjoy!

But for now, I will link my commission sheet: Here (It's also my pinned post)

And my new Ko-fi!: Here for if you just want to donate, which would be literally incredible and I would owe you my soul actually.

Ok now for big Project Time!!!

I am in the process of editing and revising my first Youtube video! This has been an on and off dream of mine for like 7 years at this point, but I've finally taken the plunge and gotten to work on a channel. I wanna talk about all sorts of fandoms (including the riordanverse ofc) With videos ranging from plot and character analysis, to trends in fandom culture in general, to fun little ranking videos and speedpaints. All around, I just want the channel to be a fandom hive, where everyone can find something they enjoy.

I already have PNG's created of my sona to use as assets (And I have a sparkly new sona, the one in the pic above!) and I have two finished scripts, with the first one being fully recorded as well! One for my first video, which will be a retrospective on Gravity Falls, and one for a video about the Percy Jackson TV show, the inherent differences between TV and books as mediums, how I think the TV show could improve, and the things I think it got perfectly. I also have a bunch more ideas, such as:

BIG Trials of Apollo video essay, with a focus on how the books and the fandom have effected me over the years.

Ranking all of my favorite characters from all of the media I've been a fan of over the years (This would be over 70 characters)

Explaining the Iliad, but make it funny (with a side of Troy apologia)

Reading Lore Olympus and pointing out how it deviates from myth (the things I'm willing to do for you people /j)

Canon vs. Fanon, where I compare a characters canon characterization with their fanon counterpart and try to figure out how things turned out the way they did.

And more, but I don't want this post to be 5000 words long.

Now here's the big question. As I said in the part above, I'm struggling a bit now money-wise. And I really wanna make this project work, but there's also, you know. Tuition. Rent. Food. Stupid other adult stuff. So if anyone is amenable (and this is totally up to demand, I don't wanna pressure anyone into doing anything!) I was also thinking of maybe making a Patreon. Now, I'd have to do research for this, bc I wanna make sure anyone who signed up would get the right rewards and really get the bang for their buck. I'm pretty sure there's not gonna be much interest in this rn, cuz like, I'm not that big of a blog oof. But if anyone is interested! Here are some of the perks I would definitely be implementing! (sry it's another list)

Early access to videos, and behind the scenes looks at art assets and video creation

the ability to request topics for videos

Patrons names being shown in the videos. And higher tiered patrons getting custom chibis that will be shown in videos as well (and given to the patrons obv)

This ones a bit complicated, but I want to create a cover of a song that has to do with each video to play during their outros. So like, for the gravity falls video, I'm gonna record a quick cover of the Disco Girl song from the show. Only a small section of the song would be in each video, but patrons would get access to the full covers, and be able to request songs to be covered.

Discounts on commissions

A monthly speedpaint that would be exclusive to patreon. Patrons would be able to vote on what the drawing would be.

All of these ideas I'm 100% sure I want to add to a patreon if I make one, but obv there could be more that comes up later. I'm just gauging interest on this idea rn, so let me know if that's something you'd be down to sign up for! Maybe I'm jumping the gun here but I'm just really excited to create and give back to the community and aaahhhhh

Now, no matter what, I'm gonna have this first video out by mid-September at the latest. Because stupid money troubles are not gonna stop me from making this a thing dangit. So look out for that, I'll link the vid here when it releases! But I am just really stressed rn and any support would go a long way towards making this dream come true. And on that note, one more sappy real talk if I am allowed it?

If you've read this far, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. This community and fandom is truly incredible. My blog is about to reach 5 years old, and I've never seen a group of people so accepting and creative and just fun to be around. You guys have truly changed my life, and I wouldn't have the courage to try for this if I didn't have the support you've given me. I know this is super dramatic for just trying to make a youtube channel, but making a place where I could just talk about all the nerdy and overly specific things I care about and share them with the world is something I've wanted for my whole life. You guys gave me that with this blog, and if this channel works out, it'll be thanks to you, so you'll have given it to me twice. I don't have the words to express how much I love this community and all the incredible people in it. So even if you can't support, just know that being here for however long you have been, whether it's the whole five years or the last two days, has done more than you'll ever know. You guys are the best, thank you for everything <3

[ghostradiodylan]

Can we just talk about Kaitlyn’s response to kissing Ryan for one second? (You know, not that we do that perverted het shit in this house /j)

Now if you’ve only ever made the correct choice kissed Dylan, you could be forgiven for thinking Kaitlyn is pretty into Ryan. She looks a little pouty about not being chosen here.

[Also oh my god she’s so tiny the beer bottle is huge in her little Barbie hand I want to squish her 😍]

This is right after the “shall we?” She doesn’t look unhappy… but she looks a little trepidatious. She does not look like she’s won the kissing Ryan Erzahler lottery.

Is it because Dylan’s giving her a real cunty side-eye? Hard to say.

[Look, they're besties and he'd literally die for her, but he's thinking about cutting a bitch right now.]

Pre-kiss. Does she look excited about this? She kinda looks dead inside to me.

[Why does she look like she’s thinking, did I leave the oven on?]

Immediately after…

Does… does she look pleased to you, my guy? She kinda looks like she just realized she doesn’t actually like men disappointed to me.

She kind of cringe smiles at this line. You would, right?

I just really want to know what kind of direction they gave Brenda here because my girl is NOT happy. There’s, like, a silent ‘ugh’ in this face! And we don’t know why! Is it because she’s worried about Dylan’s feelings? She didn’t seem that worried about him before the actual kiss. Is it because of the awkward silence that accompanied it? It’s not like she knows everyone would have cheered if he picked Dylan, only we know that.

Then she sits down and…

Well, guess that happened.

She looks significantly happier about Dylan kissing her supposed crush.

She could just be putting on a brave face for her friends, but Dylan can’t even see her yet and she’s already smiling.

And, of course, the game further affirms this because we don’t get the ‘disappointed’ chyron regarding Kaitlyn if Dylan is chosen instead.

So, I totally respect everyone’s right to ship them as a throuple, but when people say SMG should have just made them a canon throuple in the game I have to disagree, unless they were going to fundamentally change the characters and their reactions to each other in order to do it. (Other than Kaitlyn’s reactions here, writer/director Will Byles says Dylan is gay, not bisuxal, and we know he’s canonically pretty jealous.) And that’s not just my compulsory monogamy speaking, I actually think Nick/Abi/Emma would be a perfectly workable throuple and I’m surprised more people don’t write them that way.

But mainly I think Kaitlyn just… really isn’t that into Ryan. And I do wish we got more insight into her character on this topic and just in general. Is it because she knows Dylan likes him more than she does? Is it because she’s actually a lesbian suffering under comphet (or completely aro/ace and just not accepting it) and she had to tell Jacob something when he asked who she thought the hottest person at camp was, so she picked the brooding loner who never talks to anyone because that seemed safe? Is she secretly harboring feelings for Jacob and that’s why she’s so hard on her childhood friend about his relationship with Emma?? There’s just no way to know.

[haunting-hufflepuffs-basement]

Oh my gosh. OH MY FUCKING GOSH YOU GUYS!

I just, for the third time, rewatched Puffs the Play. I need every single Harry Potter fan (especially those of you who are Hufflepuffs like me) to know about this amazing AMAZING show and go watch it PLEASE.

Puffs the Play is a tongue-and-cheek irreverent adaptation of Harry Potter that covers what the hell the Hufflepuffs were doing during Harry's time at Hogwarts. The main characters are:

Wayne Hopkins, a kid whose parents were murdered on the same night as Harry's and who was sent to live with his well-meaning but super weird and oblivious redneck uncle in New Mexico. He grows up as a completely normal muggle child until he gets his letter, at which point his uncle realizes "We gotta talk more" and he gets thrust into Hogwarts. Wayne believes that he's destined for something great and very much wants to be important and save the wizarding world. Unfortunately, Harry is also there.

Oliver Rivers, an American math savant who just moved to England with his family to attend Oxford's mathematics program. Oliver is very VERY salty about Hogwarts not having a math class and has a lot of struggles adjusting to the absolute insanity that is wizard school

And Megan Jones, a girl whose family is known for being "the Puff family. Like the Puffiest of the Puffs." All except her mother Xavia, who was an infamous and dangerous Death Eat---no wait, sorry, Death BUDDY, who is currently in wizard prison. Megan strives to be just like her mother.

These dorks, along with several other background Puffs from the books (Hannah Abbott, Ernie Macmillan, Justin Finch-Fletchley, etc.) navigate 7 of the craziest years at the most dangerous wizarding school guided under their amazing mentor Cedric. . .at least for a while . . . As Puffs, the most beaten up, looked down on, and "worthless" house.

Now, this play is absolutely amazing you guys. It's hilarious, for starters, and takes a lot of liberties with the books. Every single person there is a cloud-cukoolander who is full of adorkable charm and ridiculous sass towards canon. Common catchphrases include:

"HI!" with a signature adorkable little wave.

"We're WIZARDS!"

"We are not a threat! Please be our friend!"

"Oh. My. Wizard. God!"

It's a filmed play that is deliberately low-budget to help with the comedy. Salazar Slytherin, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Godric Gryffindor are all played by hand puppets. Harry is there, played by the same (female) actress as Susie Bones and is an absolutely hilarious oblivious sweetheart, but Ron and Hermoine are a pair of mops dragged around by other cast members. The cast is a total of, like, 10 people who just continually switch roles. The narrator won't stop taking pot-shots at both the canon Harry Potter story and the story of Puffs, and keeps breaking the fourth wall. Some of my other favorite quotes include but aren't limited too:

"HI CEDRIC! Love your bones" -Harry Potter

"J-Finch is imaginary!?!? J-FINCH CAN GO WHEREVER HE WANTS!"

"AVIA FORMES!" (Chucks bird at person)

"If it makes you feel any better, he's ugly, and he'll probably stay that way forever!" (Said about Neville by the way)

"Someone said the snake monster only goes after pretty girls so I shouldn't have to oh I get it they were bullying me."

"JESUS CHRIST YOU ALL ARE 13!"

"Students who are Brave! Students who are Smart! Students who talk like they're about to throw a glass of white wine in your face! And the Puffs!"

It's really funny you guys.

But it is also incredibly heartwarming and can be sad and serious at times. It's a story of unbreakabke friendship. It's a story about how to keep on going when the going gets rough. It's a story that says it doesn't matter if everyone else thinks you're a bit of an idiot or if you're socially awkward or if you fail a whole lot. As long as you keep trying and keep working hard, something good will be there for you (even if it's not the something you wanted). It's a story about embracing your true self.

It's a story that says "I'm a Puff. And I'm staying."

It has also permanently affected the way I read the Harry Potter books, as I project the Puffs personalities (and frequently looks) onto all the Hufflepuffs when they show up in the books, even if a lot of them don't really match.

Everyone, please go watch Puffs the Play, and understand why I have some strange headcanons about the background Hufflepuffs from the class of '98.

[accirax]

(Reminder that you need to click the link that's beneath the screenshot.)

Already read the translation. Hopefully you can too because it's hilarious!

agreed, the three of them (and Jake as well) should be friends. although, i don't know if Drew really has any bullshit for Dan to put up with? he seems like a pretty chill guy. really, it's more Dan and Drew having to try to talk Tom out of whatever trouble he's gotten into now, yet Tom still following his heart and making mistakes constantly.

i'm also going to combine some more of the tweet asks below the cut!

This is actually pretty cute ngl. (saying as someone who doesn't particularly care for aleriya either way (though I can see the appeal/aesthetic))

ooh, they look good in red! maybe it should've been the red team instead of the yellow team. well, then we'd have to put Grett and Yul in red as well. maybe not.

this artist did a great job of capturing all of the detail in the costumes, and i like the kinda painterly brush they used. even though i don't ship aleriya either, they totally look like they'd be the romantic leads of a kids' picture book.

Aww~ :)

stop staring at me with them big ol' eyes-- (/j)

very cute! i like the color palette. sucks that this baby already has to wear glasses, though. imagine your eyesight being so terrible that you have to wear glasses before you can even read.

(or, maybe they're Cheryll's glasses. that would be precious.)

Love the redraw! :)

Aiden looks so over it, lol. as if you wouldn't be doing the exact same thing if James was out there doing cartwheels.

the artist did a good job reinterpreting the pose with the more realistic proportions of their style. maybe i should try doing some Disventure Camp pose redraws someday; that could be fun. although, i'd wager that the next DC thing that i draw will probably relate to season 4, though i can't say that for sure.

AWWWW!!!! X3 Really hoping that we get, at the very least a 5 second cameo of Drew in TomJake, since they all live in Canada. I need it. I miss my baby. He was gone too soon. ;-; I won't lie, I personally do not care for Jake and Tom getting a spinoff story, AT ALL. But I might end up watching it anyway, for the extra lore. And who knows, if it gets enough views and does well enough in the community, it *might* convince Jared and Robert to make spinoffs for other characters. Like Drew. Or Ashley. Or Alec (which is what I'm hoping most for if you could n't already tell).

the pose sort of reminds me of a polaroid that they would show in the credits of the movie to reassure that everyone is having a great time after the plot is over. actually, i guess it has similar vibes to the canon instagram post of Ellie and Tess graduating, so maybe that's where i got that idea, lol.

including Drew as a background gag would honestly be a brilliant idea. like, Jake runs off somewhere, and in the background, there's just Drew holding up a piece of paper that says "???". i have no clue where in Canada Drew and Tom/Jake/Miriam live-- the country is quite large, so it could be an equivalent distance to Ashley living in Texas and Ellie/Tess living in New York-- but given that Ellie will be in the series, someone is travelling somewhere! so it's definitely possible.

i'm pretty neutral on the TomJake series, mostly because i don't know what it's going to be about. in a best case scenario, it's a delayed wrap-up to All Stars, further exploring some of the plot threads that weren't fully developed leading up to and after Riya's win. in a worst case scenario, it's a disjointed collection of mildly confusing fanservice, a la "Derek and Trevor accidentally kiss in the shower." (i actually liked that episode as a whole, but man was that moment in particular cringe.) i'm definitely going to watch it just so that i know what's up, but i do feel like they probably could have better used this time elsewhere (more staff stories, official season epilogue, start s4 faster).

but, Sapphire, if they did an Ashley, Drew, or Alec spinoff, how would they lure people in by putting gay people in the thumbnail??? (/s) mostly kidding, but i'm sure it is true that they were willing to bank on a TomJake series because they knew that those popular characters would get the clicks. if we got another spinoff, it'd probably be jaiden-centric, lmao.

of course, Ashley and especially Alec are also pretty popular, so it's not outside of the realm of possibility! an Alec series would definitely good, to clarify his relationship with Fiore, learn a bit more about his family, and perhaps touch on what Riya's up to after the show. an Ashley show i fear would lack any conflict (because she slays at life so hard), but maybe we could learn a bit about her family too.

They would make a neat duo ngl. If Dan ever made it to All-Stars that is. 😅 I actually remember one Ally greeting where she said she thought Dan was a pretty cool/nice guy and how unfair it was the way Gabby cheated him in eliminations, or something along those lines. I can try to find it later.

oh, these two could definitely make a nerd alliance. throw in Alec and Lake and you'll have brains that brawn and beauty should definitely watch out for.

are Ally, Dan, and Alec the only (main) characters thus far to wear glasses? oh, i guess there's Oliver too. typecast fr.

Enjoy this random art of Lill leading a family of ducks

so cute!!!!! i love the ducks' little hats and scarves. the purple team deserved an animal mascot. i bet Ashley would love to pet these little guys as well :)

Add Dan, Drew & Tess and this book club is complete! 😁

"Disventure HS" intrigues me. is this an AU where they're all students in high school? even if Alec was a senior and Fiore was a freshman, having them that close in age would be cursed as hell. hopefully Alec is just the literal librarian. maybe it's "bring your niece figure to work day".

Ellie/Alec/Fiore/Lake/Dan/Drew/Tess would be a really interesting tribe to start with. i wonder who would get voted out first?

Hm. Interesting chart. The one I agree most with is that I definitely would've liked to see an interaction between Tess and Alec. Those two do have quite a few things in common (quiet, reserved/introverted, level headed, fairly intelligent, logical, lone wolves who like to read, etc.) so I'm sure they would've clicked well with each other. Eh, who knows? Maybe there was some interaction at the motel off camera. Though that is mostly just wishful thinking, since I highly doubt either of them would ever see a reason to talk to the other with how little they know about each other, being from separate seasons and all.

yeah, and Alec was in the Motel for a pretty short amount of time (2 episodes, maybe like 5 days). canonically, he probably spent a lot of that time talking to Fiore and then Connor. Perhaps Ellie and Grett as well.

god knows Alec could use a therapist friend, though. maybe if people started following each other online, they could wind up chatting with each other then! or, i'm sure Alec would read Lake's book someday, so he could at least see her illustrations then.

i think you can probably guess which box i agree with most. (it's the favorite friendship one)

thanks for sharing all of these tweets with me!

[r0zzk1ll]

Hello bendy fandom Really fucking long rant/analysis abt me defending wally franks batim in a nutshell (and kind of basically making an au??.?. idk probably). enjoy if u want or don't idc 🎷🐇

i know this is a really stupid thing to be mad about, but the fact that wally isnt buddy boris has stuck with me ever since dctl was released. i found out through a fucking superhorrorbro video of all things all the way back in like 2018 i'm pretty sure 😭😭 i was so disappointed when i found out bc like WHAT DO U MEAN THE JANITOR/HANDYMAN OF JOEY DREW STUDIOS, EHO WAS GENERALLY A TRICKSTER AND A CLUTZ AND LIKED TO PISS PEOPLE OFF, ISN'T THE PERFECT BORIS CLONE. BUDDY BORIS FITS/HAD POTENTIAL TO FIT MOST TO ALL OF THAT CRITERIA.

and don't grt me wrong, i (kind of) like buddy as a character, BUT i really just don't think he fits the role (from what i've seen/read). like he could've been a different boris clone as a little easter egg/nod to what happened to him and how he died but as like. an important role in the game?? even though the books aren't even fucking canon apparently now so his subplot doesn't even make sense anymore?????.????... ooh bitchh

ALSO the "he (wally) got outta there that's why/he has a wife and kids" IS A WEAK ASS FUCKING ARGUMENT. THIS IS NOT A SHITS AND GIGGLES PLOTLINE U CAN JUST THROW AWAY. how come thomas grts to be tom (which makes somewhat sense with him also being a handyman type of guy), but wally can't also partake in the Main Character-ified Borisification to help henry traverse the studio. why can't that just be so easy to do. there could've been so many cool extra plotpoints and nods to what could've happened to him but Noooo Noooooooooo they just HAD to make a whole new character JUST for wally to NOT BE BORIS. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE BOOKS ARE NON CANON NOW BECAUSE THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE. (/sarc)

and don't FUCKING quote me on batds bc i know SOMEBODU will be like "b-b-b-bbut b-b-buddy's whole s-s-side plot with collecting the scraps in batds makes him c-c-c-canon!!! 🥺🥺🥺💖😭😭💔💔💔🎀🎀✨✨ ur just mad bc it's not what was assumed by the fandom!! ;-; úwù heh..." FIRST OF ALL, BUDDY ISNT EVEN MENTIONED IN ANY OF THE CANON GAMES (besides the secret message in the safehouse but i don't think that rlly counts imo), NOR DOES HE HAVE ANY RELEVANCE IN THE STORY WHATSOEVER, WHICH MEANS HE IS STRICTLY BOOK-CANON. SECOND OF ALL, BATDS WAS KNOWN AS A SIDE/EXTRA GAME AT THE TIME OF IT'S RELEASE AND WASN'T EVEN CONFIRMED TO BE APART OF BATIM OR ANY OTHER PART OF THE FRANCHISE (ASIDE FROM A SIDE GAME TO PLAY WHILE BATDR WAS IN PRODUCTION) UNTIL BATDR WAS RELEASED AND CONFIRMED BATDS IS HAPPENING DURING IT (WHICH DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE EITHER)!!!

I DON'T CARE WHAT KIND OF OPINION COULD CHANGE MY MIND. WE GOT A PERFECTLY GOOD AND WELL-DEVELOPED CHARACTER (AND A [PERSONAL] FAN FAVORITE) AT THAT POINT FOR WHO BORIS COULD'VE BEEN, AND IT GOT TAKEN FOR SOME STUPID SEEMINGLY HALF-ASSED SUBPLOT THAT'S ONLY HALF-CANON NOW BECAUSE MIKE FUCKING D IS A GOD DAMN MORON IDIOT BASTARD ASS BITCH OHHH MY GOD IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY I'M GONNA PULL OUT ALL MY HAUR

sorry. almost lost my cool there guys.. ☝️😎 (/J)

soo with all that said, PERSONALLY this is what i think they should've done with buddy instead (under the cut so this post isn't 600 pages long)

first of all; scrap buddy's origin story completely and just make dtcl about the fact that he was simply another victim of the machine instead of making him such a major character (ex. a boris clone that was almost perfect but didn't quite make it like i said earlier)

on top of that, dctl could've just been insight on a single worker's process through working at the studio to being one of many victims of the machine, instead of turning him into such a titular important gary stu ass character with an in-depth backstory and Joey Drew Favoritism™ apparently that CLEARLY didn't need it + shouldn't be an mc if he's only in the books + the books aren't canon and the games are. so then it doesn't make it make any sense if he has such an important role and he isn't even fucking canon anyway and etc.

if he would've just stayed a minor inconvenient mc in a non-canon book it wouldn't have been detrimental to the lore as Mr. D Likes To Exaggerate (to me) + the books just seem like a fun one-off exclusive to the game series anyway, so it starts to kind of make sense why they aren't canon and leaves a lot of mysteries up to interpretation which is something i DO appreciate (to a CERTAIN extent)

here's what i think could've been done if wally was actually buddy boris and faced The Horrors™ like a normal main character should. an au, if you will (AND bc im VERY bias abt wally since He was my first ever og blorbo the first time i heard his audio log i literally owe him my Life💜💜💜💜)

wally could've started dropping hints in his audio logs that something funny was happening in the studio (specifically to him)/he could've been the last major victim to be sacrificed to the machine and therefore being one of the reasons of having the role of "the perfect boris" as malice said

-he also seems like the type of person to give into manipulation fairly easily, not knowing how truly bad something is before he gets involved yk

-a bit of a stretch BUT could also be a nod to susie's initial likeness towards wally pre-canon and vice versa (sourced from the special audio log wally has on the jds yt channel)

-him being the perfect boris also could allude to his personality/attributes and the way he talked abt the studio

and you can't forget the audio log of him and thomas bickering like COME ONNNN THERE COULD'VE BEEN A WHOOOLE SUB-SUBPLOT WHERE TOM AND BUDDY BORIS RECOGNIZE EACH OTHER SOMEHOW AT SOME POINT BUT THEY DON'T KNOW HOW

-TOM COULD'VE RECOGNIZED HIM EVEN AS BRUTE BORIS AFTER HENRY KILLS HIM and allison too but TOMMMMMMM😭😭😭😭😭CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEEEE

extra hints in the game like certain phrases and mannerisms of his (ink/glowing ink writings like his "i'm outta here!" written in certain locations or like. boris being clumsier as he walks/carrying around keys/scavenging for food [kind of like in the start of chapter 3], etc.)

-i also think that the connection that buddy boris (and just boris in general) has with food can connect with wally as well bc of the audio log where he's like "Omg 💖 Cake 💖just for me! Don't Tell Anyone Though. Our little secret. 😝" or the bit in the handbook where he finds some "churros" i Guess

there's also a LOT of potential for there to be a whole OTHER subplot where sammy could have found him one day and hadn't recognized him bc All The Boris Clones Look The Same, but buddy boris recognized sammy and there could be a whole conversation with henry and sammy abt him and dropping hints at it and blahblahblah etc etc.

-sammy probably could've mentioned him* at some point too even if he hadn't seen buddy boris as like a "hey.. i knew that fuckass guy.. wtf" (*and i know he mentions wally in the hot topic takeover thing on twitter from a while ago but i mean like in the actual game)

i think that the fact of boris being a Non-Verbal King™ would also be a funny contrast to how many god damn audio logs wally has. like Shut yuor mouth fucker /REF

the bit in chapter 3 where boris knows every nook and cranny of the studio and how to navigate the vent system could also lead to wally's nature of having a lot of knowledge of the layout to the building (due to being a janitor/running errands for people, similar to buddy) + he mentions staying in late to freshen up some offices so he might've explored more using that time as well because his personality shows he's a bit of a nosy guy

ALSO a stretch, but wally's first audio log in chapter one being fairly close to the first boris corpse displayed could've been a good foreshadow to his revival as buddy boris (and where the theory originated i'm pretty sure once ch2 came out)

the saferoom at the start of chapter 3 could've also been a great place to reference him (they could've put his hat from bendy royale in the shelf next to/on the hammock Can anyone hear me)

i also think that wally is supposed to be painted as an older guy?? so he probably already would've moved on from the studio due to leaving and starting his own business and having a family I Guess?????? idk but to me i think he'd be more of the college drop-out that thinks he's hot shit type of guy when in reality he doesn't know what a 2 + 2 is (ex. the audio log in batds where he's like "i was the best Student! Brickmore High! [tiktok bold emoji] These college bozos don't be knowin' shit!!"

-younger people are easier to manipulate like i talked abt earlier (especially someone like him that doesn't think before he Does Anything . boy has no thoughts)

wally also most likely would've known who henry was/was friendly with him while working there too at some point while henry was still at the studio pre-canon, so he probably recognized him throughout the cycle

i could ramble forever abt this bc it's such a strangely frustrating topic for me BUT in conclusion; i personally tbink that it would've been perfectly logical for wally to have been buddy boris (probably called somethig else), and buddy should've been a completely seperate character that would've done just as well on his own in the book instead of having a whole ass overarching plot for no reason?? and the "canonicity" of it is weirdly up for debate??? idk Watever thank you for coming to my tedtalk 😇😇Bye

⭐ !! bonus wally doodle dump since u made it this far !! seriously why r u Here ⭐

[dopscratch]

introducing: the Scoutbros

i'm feeling creative, so i'm gonna introduce you all to my headcanons for scout's family, including the basically-ocs that i've designated as his brothers! you're welcome to use them anywhere if you happen to actually like them, with a couple rules

credit me please this is the one scrap of originality i have

if you make any tweaks, headcanons or changes, please do not parade them as fact!

SHOW ME, LINK IT TO ME, GIVE ME WHATEVER CONTENT YOU MAY MAKE WITH THEM I LOVE THE SCOUTBROS

obviously these rules only apply to the oc-ones and not the canon characters (except rule 3, give me your tf2 content...)

all images are from that one scene in my Runs in the Family animatic you know the one- and represent fairly young versions of all of them! i think i designed scout to be like 10 there.

anyway, without further ado, my headcanons/ocs:

Starting with Scout's mother, I've headcanoned she really likes J names. Her name is Jolene and Spy's name, whatever it is, probably starts with a J too. Most of her kids come from different fathers, hence their varied appearances. Also her last name is Fitzgerald for the memes. That's pretty much all I have here

Scout himself also remains pretty much unchanged. His childhood nickname was Germ because Jeremy and also he's a little pathogen the kid is obnoxious :)

Josh is 1 year older than Scout and is the resident daredevil. He’s a thrill seeker and holds the record for the most broken bones in the family, both at once and total. Scout may have broken this record during his time as a merc, but since he’s not really supposed to talk about it (and it’d be nearly impossible to keep track of on the battlefield with Medic healing) Josh remains on top. He has darker/deeper brown eyes and hair.

Jay is 2 years older than Scout and a hyper tech nerd who finds it difficult to focus on most things for more than one minute. He loves pranks, often pulling them on his brothers and anyone unlucky enough to be close by. He’s 100% a memelord (Saxton invented the internet early it could happen!!). He’s a blue-eyed redhead.

Jason is 5 years older than Scout. He’s twins with Jake (coming next!). He’s also a criminal. To be fair, he’s not really more of a criminal than his other brothers, he just continued being a bit of a menace into adulthood and is terrible at covering his tracks, resulting in him landing in jail more often than not. If someone in the family is going to get caught for a crime, it’ll most likely be him. He also occasionally takes the fall for his other brothers, be it voluntarily or not. He’s absolutely awful at planning but can often think on his feet well enough in a crisis. He has paler brown eyes and black hair.

Jake is Jason’s twin (so also 5 years older than Scout). He’s a nicer guy, polite, but an adept fighter. He tends to keep a cool head and can get out of a lot of bad situations, the opposite of his twin (he is the younger twin which he used to be a little self-conscious about). He’s also Bidwell. He legally changed his name because the scoutfam is a little notorious what with the many many troublemakers that come from it. I think this is the perfect origin story for him because there’s no way Saxton Hale would hire an assistant without assessing their combat ability.

Jessie is Jack’s (coming next!) right-hand man, 7 years older than Scout. Scoutmom Jolene forgot the masculine way to spell it was ‘Jesse’ so now this tall, buff, intimidating man has to live with a name that many would point and laugh and call a girl’s name (not that ‘Jesse’ would be any better in the spoken word). Though it was a bit of an embarrassment in early childhood, mostly going by his initials, he’s moved past it, growing confident and comfortable with his name. He’s generally stoic and hard to rattle, though he has a more chaotic side and likes helping out with Jay’s pranks. Though he’s slower to anger, he holds a long, lifetime grudge. He has darker brown eyes and black hair.

Jack is 9 years older than Scout and the ruthless leader type. He specializes in organized crime, but in a kind of wholesome way. He’s very protective of anything he’s deemed his territory and will keep his little circle safe. Family comes before anything for him (absent fathers don’t count in his books). He targets overeager gangs, corrupt officials, big businesses challenging smaller local ones, and other threats to his community in various less-than-legal ways. He has blue eyes and black hair.

James is the oldest son, 12 years older than Scout. He filled in as a sort of father figure to the family as it grew and was the leader of the scoutbros’ chaotic outings until adulthood, when he eventually decided to pursue a stable, normal job. Still, he sticks around and occasionally accompanies the group for old time’s sake. He’s generally the most responsible, followed by Jake and Jessie. He has brown eyes and a light brownish hair, a similar shade to Scout’s.

and that’s all of em! hope you enjoyed this wild ride through my brain. i think the tag is free so #scoutbros will from now on be referring to my particular band of silly dudes unless anyone has any objections!

also, feel free to ask me any questions!

[homestuckconfession]

I never understood why so many people liked Gamzee/Tavros as a romantic pairing.

This kinda sounds silly considering the one conversation they have is really explicit in terms of romance and having interest in each other (or at least that's how I remember it), but that's kinda the problem for me? It's a single conversation.

It's totally fair to argue that because they are secondary characters even having this one chat is already more than enough to make this ship "basically canon", but it's just not doing it for me.

Both of these guys have a lot of interesting connections to a bunch of other characters, so it just kinda baffles me that people settled down for the most "bland" option...

The way I always saw it in my head is that people only really shipped these two cuz everybody else is already taken in some capacity, and the idea of someone NOT being in a relationship is just that repulsive for some people, so they are together now! Yay, I guess.

(Not trying to discredit anyone who ships them, I'm sure there are a lot of legit reasons people pair them up)

I have to give credit though, PB&J is the cutest ship name I've ever heard. It's adorable!!!

.

[abcwordsurge]

Hii!! I read your intro post and you mentioned liking Ninjago and Romeo & Juliet :D Who are your favorite characters in both and why?

Thank you ☺️

oh! this was a delightful surprise. I just updated my intro post today (well, yesterday as of posting this), and I didn't think anyone would notice haha. thank you for reading it ^_^

I absolutely love both Ninjago and Romeo & Juliet, and honestly it's nice to have an excuse to talk about them on my blog. however, since you asked specifically about favorite characters, this will inevitably be a long one. I can never get myself to shut up about characters.

my favorite Ninjago characters are Nya and Jay (and honorary mention Kai). my favorite Romeo & Juliet characters are probably Mercutio and Benvolio (but I could make a good reason for any of them to be the best haha). very long rant under cut

--

so! let's start with Nya. first, I have to point out that she was horribly mistreated in canon. it was sort of inevitable- since she was "the girl," I feel like the creators felt like a lot of her arc had to be... being the girl? I'm just still a bit disappointed at her missed potential of just, y'know, being a ninja.

that being said, she's a flipping icon and I love her with all of my heart, and every time she's on the screen it makes me smile. granted, I totally project onto her (and her brother, our favorite Kai~), but even if you ignore my personal headcanons of her being aromantic and loveless, she's such a smart, stubborn, and creative character, and I love that for her.

also Jay. I love Jay. I feel like, as a fanfic writer, I treat him the exact opposite of how I treat Nya. every time I write about Nya, I write about her experiences with being aromantic, or her desperation to prove herself, things like that. when I write about Jay, it's like Jay's in love with Cole, or Jay's in love with Nya (actually unrequited love my beloved), or Jay's in love with Kai. (side note- I actually headcanon Kai as aromantic, too, but sometimes I put that headcanon on pause so I can ship him. because oh my god he has such cute ships.) anyway all this to say that Jay's an adorable goofy little guy and I like putting him in situations. (he also has massive angst potential but angst isn't really my forte.)

ok. Romeo & Juliet. before I get into specifics, I must say that the characterization in this play is criminally underrated. if it were released today, it would have leagues of fans obsessing over both Romeo and Juliet, and arguing over whether Romeo is a romantic or just an idiot, and getting into shipping wars (especially Benvolio/Mercutio vs Tybalt/Mercutio- though Bencutio is obviously superior). the fact that it only has 2000 fics on AO3 is a tragedy to rival, well, Romeo & Juliet.

(also- for my WttT followers and moots, if any of you have gotten this far, I have to say that we have very nearly surpassed Romeo & Juliet in number of fics on AO3. keep it up)

now if I was forced to pick favorites in Romeo & Juliet, I would have to say the aforementioned Benvolio and Mercutio- both as a duo and as individuals, they are so flipping wonderful. I saw a local production of Romeo & Juliet over the summer, and ever since then, I have been deathly defensive of them. I will fight over the fact that they're both so well written and well characterized. (I also super love them as a ship- in the production I saw, when Romeo and Juliet met for the first time, there were plenty of duos in the background, slow dancing, and Ben and Merc were dancing together, and I just... I have no words. they're perfect.)

anyway. Benvolio first. Ben is such a big cousin sort of character, iykwim. there's something so tragic about the fact that he tried from the very beginning to get everyone to stop fighting, but no matter what he did or said, he couldn't save them- not his cousin, not his best friend. (I've never seen Hamlet, but I'm told that Benvolio is the Horatio of R&J. Shakespeare knew which archetypes work, I guess.) he's so awesome. I love him

and Mercutio! Merc is just a kid you guys. he's a teenage boy. he's so funny and free spirited and every time I watch R&J, all I can think about is "he's here for a good time, not a long time." because it's so true! his recklessness and immaturity leads to his death! (another theme, perhaps- because while he did sort of bring it upon himself, I would never say it's his fault- but that's a rant for another day.) Merc is just so immediately lovable and his death hurts me the most. his death is the turning point between a mostly light hearted play to the tragedy that we associate with it, and that makes it hurt even more. (and Ben holds him when he dies and Ben is left all alone at the end, and oh my god Shakespeare is famous for a reason.)

so, yeah. this is very long and mostly unedited, sorry. you pushed the right buttons to keep me talking for hours. maybe I'll start posting more about my other fandoms, because this was a lot of fun. thank you so much for asking :D

[real-total-drama-takes]

Okay I think rather than replying individually to every single person it would be better if I complied everything into one take

if you guys can't handle me at my coderra takes, you don't deserve me at my reboot takes /j, but in all seriousness while no I don't "love the male stalker trope"/think coderra is the healthiest ship (or healthy in canon whatsoever aside from the last 3 or so episodes of WT)/whatever other bs people tried to impersonate me with back in december, I've always been a coderra shipper & will bring up my defenses of the pairing if prompted, idk why this is news to some people

first off, worm anon & watermelon anon, yes I would ship them if the genders were reversed. Genders aren't really a factor when it comes to my opinions of ships, like as a trans person I don't really like hearing "oh I'm ok with x if one gender does it but not another" because like I'm the same person I was prior to me transitioning, I don't want to be treated any differently because I present masculine instead of feminine now. I absolutley would ship coderra if everything was exactly the same but Sierra was male and Cody was female. The closest thing we have to a genderswapped coderra in canon is gwody and while I don't care about gen 1 enough anymore to activley ship any gen 1 pairings aside from coderra and maybe gwourtney, I do find gwody kinda cute actually and like it as a secondary ship/brotp

https://www.tumblr.com/real-total-drama-takes/757942733215301632/not-to-add-to-proshipcourse-bc-its-driving-me-nuts?source=share this anon is particularly based and kinda already said a good chunk of what I want to say, but TLDR, so long as a pairing isn't activley harming anyone you shouldn't really be shitting on people for liking what they like. Literally the most I've done for coderra is write a couple fanfics about them, comission coderra fanart and create a list of hcs and I really fail to see how that's somehow problematic. Again, if this was like an incest/pedo pairing or some shit like that I'd get it but coderra hurts no one

gonna be real with you guys I started shipping coderra back in 2016 when I was a literal middle schooler who just didn't really understand the negative connotations with it because I didn't know anything about stalking; Sierra was my favorite character because I thought she was funny and occasionally relatable and thus chose to ship her with her canon love interest because I wanted to see her happy. Yeah I lost interest in TD in mid 2018 and didn't get back into it until late 2021 but I've still been shipping coderra for a long ass time and it's kinda hard to let pairings go when you've spent years creating a version of them in your head that's special to you, even if you've grown to realize they have problematic elements to them with time. I'm sorry if my coderra defenses have offended anyone and I've met some really cool people through this app and blog (tbh I wish I could actually like start friendships with my moots I just don't have the balls to ask), the last thing I want to do is like activley hurt anyone and I can stop sending in coderra takes if it's really bugging people that much. Regardless tho, I'm not gonna stop shipping the pairing itself over pointless discourse lastly "catnon has been really quiet huh" I'm not trying to be rude but have you considered I'm 21 years old with a life outside of social media. Like I get some of you are young and have a surplus of free time currently with it being summer break and all but please like in general can we normalize giving people at least a day to reply to stuff? thanks

-🐈

[biichama]

Reading A Song of Ice and Fire: A Game of Thrones After-Book Report

RIGHT. So I promised both to myself and to the internet that I'd report on my thoughts on the A Game of Thrones POV characters and their storylines before I started A Clash of Kings and this is me making good on that. That said, I don't know if I will have any bold or original thoughts. This is just my feels about things. And since I was thoroughly spoiled for a lot of shit past this book thanks to fandom osmosis and especially fanfic, there's probably going to be those spoilers when talking about POV characters.

Also, I should probably note before we get into things that besides being spoiled by fandom osmosis and fanfic in particular, this is my second attempt at reading A Game of Thrones, with the first attempt taking place in 1997 or so when it was the only ASOIAF book and I myself was in my mid-teens. I ended up noping out after Bran II for Yeeting Reasons and when I found out from @evilmidnightlurker in early 2001 about a Certain Infamous Execution (which is when he decided he wasn't going to read the sequels), I thought I'd had a narrow escape from books that were obviously nothing but nihilism and an author going LOL YOU CARED at the reader. And like, I do know now that that's not how GRRM rolls even if it's how the tv show guys roll but I did not know it then.

(Though like I think at some point around 2003 or so I did read "The Hedge Knight" in the Legends anthology, which I'd checked out from the library so I could read "The Little Sisters of Elluria" because I was totally into the Dark Tower at that point? But I did not retain much memory of it, except for the twist about Egg's identity.)

Flash forward twenty years later when I noticed that a Yuri on Ice fanfic writer I liked had a Pride and Prejudice fusion fic. Now P&P is a favorite of mine and I'm usually willing to read fusions when I only know one canon, so I decided that sure, I'd read this fic. And it was a Jaime/Brienne fic and despite having so little context for J/B outside of what I'd picked up from the cultural zeitgeist of the Game of Thrones tv show existing, I really liked the fic. So I followed the author's bookmarks to other J/B fanfic and read them and also liked them and spent years reading J/B as a pairing without, like, actually reading the canon it came from (because I remembered having to abruptly put down the book back in 1997) and getting more and more spoiled for everything and it became this weird almost special interest of, like, lurking around the edges of the fandom but not actually engaging in the canon.

And then I decided last spring that I would actually engage with the canon or at least read the other two Dunk and Eggs because I'd heard a lot of good things about them and didn't remember minding the first one and so I did and I loved them and my favorite little side character was Bloodraven and I knew from my lurking around the fandom that Bloodraven shows up again in ADWD and so I was all oh fuck, I'm going to have to actually read these books now.

So I did.

And honestly, I was kind of stressed for the first eight chapters, because I remembered being badly affected by the Yeeting (likely because I have a terrible fear of falling), but I pushed through and I'm glad I did because this is really good shit, you guys.

But yeah, okay, I should get ahead with the whole POV report thing. I'll probably make some notes about what little I remember of the 1997 reading here and there, because I definitely am not the same person I was back then and I think it affects how I read things.

Prologue:

Okay, so this was atmospheric as all fuck. I spent the first half being deeply sympathetic with Will and I kind of assumed that Waymar was going to panic and get killed easily when they did run into the Others--I knew going in because of being HELLA SPOILED BY FANFIC and from my dimly remembered recollections from my initial 1997 read that the prologue guys were going to run into Others and someone was going to make it back past the wall to tell people about them, only to get executed by Ned for deserting. I just kind of assumed that person would be Will? But it was NOT, it was Garred who didn't see nearly as much as Will did. And yeah, I was pleasantly surprised that Waymar, who I thought was all talk, really did make a damn good attempt to fight the Other he ran into. I did not expect him to reanimate while Will was poking at him. GOOD JOB JUMP SCARING ME, GEORGE.

Bran:

I love Bran. A lot. Both as a perspective and as a character. I think that's probably why him getting yeeted in his second chapter made me nope out right away back in 1997--well, that and the whole fear of falling thing. And also, the fake-out where Jamie rescues him and then decides he has to yeet him anyway was just so fucking cruel. Anyway, I do like him and I think I had the vague idea back in 1997 that he was the main character (inasmuch as anyone was) which also made the yeeting shocking and YES I do have to keep calling it the yeeting, using a funny name for the incident puts that needed bit of distance in there for me.

(Anyway, I enjoy child characters in books and always have and I think Martin writes some really good child perspectives to be honest--like, striking a good balance between how much kids actually understand about the world and how much they don't. Because kids do understand more than you think, even if you wish they didn't.)

But yeah, I liked reading about Winterfell from Bran's perspective (you can tell how important it is to him) and I loved getting lore from Old Nan and Luwin in his chapters and honestly, they really were good. And his dream with the three-eyed crow was trippy in the best way.

Catelyn:

God, I love this woman. And I almost didn't expect to? Like I went into my 2024 read wanting to like her, given everything I knew about her from fanfiction and lurking around ASOIAF--and also to spite the misogynists who blame her for everything--but I did not expect to love her so hard. I think what I love about Cat is how she fucking commits herself to things. Watching over Bran's sickbed, hauling Tyrion's ass around, etc etc. She doesn't do things by halves. I like that in a character.

I will say that Catelyn VI was one of the worst fucking chapters to read. George is like a really visceral writer and like really good at making me see things on the page, even though I usually have a pretty shoddy mind's eye? And the Eyrie is basically built to freak me out. So yeah, I was never going to like a chapter which was more or less LET'S SEE IF CATELYN WILL FALL TO HER DEATH ON HER WAY TO VISIT LYSA even though I knew she survives until the Red Wedding.

(I hate the very existence of the moon door by the way. Hate it, hate it, hate it.)

Dany:

So yeah. Dany's a baby and I don't think I would have got that if I hadn't noped out of my 1997 read at Bran II. Because I was barely any older than she was and surely I was old enough to enter into a political marriage with some fancy barbarian horse-riding dude a decade older than me, right? Right?

But yeah, AGOT was definitely written in the 90s and you can tell, because there's this sort of... generalized acceptance of teenage girls as objects of desire that was like just part of the culture back then and now it's not. And it's kind of reflected in Dany's chapters, even though it's not what I'd call egregious by my own personal standards? Like I wouldn't call George a dirty old man, but he's definitely a writer of his time. But also I cut my teeth on Piers Anthony in middle school (now THAT was a dirty old man) so like I may have a higher tolerance than other people.

Anyway, I enjoyed Dany and her chapters, though she wasn't my favorite perspective. I do definitely agree with Prokopetz about her storyline having that whole Romantic Fantasy vibes going on.

Ned:

I SWEAR TO GOD THAT R+L HAS TO EQUAL J IN THE BOOKS TOO BECAUSE THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO READ HIS CHAPTERS ONCE YOU KNOW HOLY SHIT IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!!

Ahem. Yes. I like Ned and I really liked reading his chapters--they're all incredibly well put together--and as I've mentioned in my prior live-blogging, I was simply Not Prepared for how quickly everything goes to shit in King's Landing. Like holy crap. There is very little padding in his storyline whatsoever and I went in expecting that there would be.

I went into every single one of his chapters with a feeling of trepidation and dread and you know what? I was right to.

Jon:

WOW YOU SURE ARE A TEENAGE FANTASY HERO, JON SNOW. In retrospect, I'm not sure why 1997 bii was under the impression that Bran was the Designated Fantasy Protagonist of these books, except that we did meet Bran first and the only other character who'd had a second chapter by Bran II was Catelyn and teenage bii figured it was more likely that the hero was the kid who dreamed of knighthood rather than his mom. Jon was going to be his sidekick, right? A helpful mentor figure that hopefully wouldn't get killed or anything. Like obviously this was a full decade before Gurren Lagann, but if someone had told me in 1997 that Jon was going to be Bran's Kamina figure I'd have gone yeah, that sounds right.

But yeah. Jon (much like Dany to be honest) really is the obvious designated fantasy hero character and I am laughing so much at my 1997 self now. I'm sure if I'd read further than Jon I back then I'd have figured it out pretty quickly--it's really obvious by Jon III if not Jon II--but I noped out at Bran II and this is what I get for it.

I like Jon all right and I like the chapters on the wall all right. He's not a stand-out favorite but he's decent. I had no idea that Master Aemon being a Targaryen was meant to be a big twist. (Thanks fandom osmosis.)

Arya:

I'm pretty sure that 1997 me ate Arya up with a spoon to be quite honest. She was bad at girl stuff just like me and had a contentious relationship with her sister (again just like me) and she was spunky and determined and very, very cool. Like I only got the one chapter of her, but it was a good one.

Her later chapters were really good as well. Again, I think George is better at writing child characters than people give him credit for? Like with the Ned chapters, things went to shit here a lot faster than I thought they would and for some reason I thought Arya would meet Gendry in this book independently of Ned, but she didn't.

Tyrion:

Now we get into characters who I didn't get to read any POV chapters from in my 1997 attempt and I do like Tyrion quite a lot, it turns out. Like his chapters were mostly all good and I appreciated his cleverness and the way he interacted with Jon and the Night's Watch and the younger Starks and how he talked himself in and out of trouble along the way.

That said, Tyrion V was excruciating and painful to read and I fucking hate that the sky cells exist WHY. They're like the moon door, but worse. Why is the Vale like this? Least favorite region of Westeros bar none. Somebody please send WOSHA (Westerosi OSHA) to build some safety rails.

Anyway, I did not expect Bronn to be a sellsword that Catelyn hired at all? Like I had a vague idea that Tyrion had been put on trial at some point in the book and Bronn came into the story related to that, but I think before I sat down and read AGOT I assumed that, like, Bronn was some dude passing through whatever town is attached to the Eyrie and Tyrion grabbed him off the street. Nope.

Another thing I didn't expect: getting the story of Tysha when I did and as briefly as I did. Again, it was something I'd been spoiled for, but I thought it would come out later with Shae. (Who I also didn't expect Tyrion to pick up in this book. I thought it would happen in ACOK.)

Sansa:

I would like to believe that 1997 bii would have had room for Sansa in my teenage heart, despite how much I immediately glommed onto Arya, prepared to take her side in the Glorious War of Sisterly Rivalry. Honestly, I think she probably would have won me over in Sansa II, because it's absolutely delightful to see her afloat in all the magic and romanticism of the tourney--and also to see when the spell fades. I suppose that makes Sansa II kind of a microcosm of her storyline in general?

(The conversation with the Hound on the way back from the tourney was one I'd already read before as an excerpt, but it was good to get the full context.)

Her interactions with Littlefinger are awful, though. Now that's a character I did not expect to hate as much as I did. I wanted to like him, because Cat trusted him and I like Cat, even though I knew because of spoilers that he'd sell Ned out when the going got tough, but I did not expect him to be so goddamn insufferable to deal with. Honestly, even more so in Ned's chapters than Sansa's. Basically in any chapter he shows up in, even Catelyn's.

Maybe George will get me to change my mind on him later, but I'm not holding my breath.

[gojuo]

Having to witness Ragged Tarpits and Becky with the Blue Roses fraudulent ass wedding ceremony in fucking DORNE of all places was borderline vomit inducing, but the fact that production got two of the most mid looking actors to play them was most pleasing to me. Ragged especially looked like a foot in Viserys' old, musty unwashed 2 dollar wig. Never getting over it lmaooooooooo.

Anyway, I do not acknowledge any of that shit as canon and D and D better pay for their sins. Inshallah.

IM CRYINGGGGGGG cuz you wanna know why? Bc that RxL wedding bullshit was so obviously D&D dog ass fanfiction because they wrote themselves into a corner by erasing Young Griff from the show, the guy the entire Southern Plotline is going to revolve around in TWOW and ADOS. I mean they literally split his storyline into four and gave it to other characters:

The legitimate heir part and most of the Westerosi lords' support being with Aegon against Dany went to Jon.

The Golden Company + being King of Westeros once Dany arrives and having the people's love and support against her and the final showdown with her went to Cersei.

Varys + Tyrion + JonCon's trauma of the bells went to Dany.

Jorah got JonCon's greyscale.

Jon's arc has never been about being "the rightful hidden heir". Those are the fantasy trope cliches GRRM has always been subverting. It's Aegon that is the legitimate heir, and what you'd expect is for him to save the day and live happily ever after ... but that's not going to happen. The legitimate heir—the true hidden prince—is going to die. Horrifically. And so is the other legitimate Targaryen (Daenerys). But the one that will come out on top is the bastard.

Now, I don't want to make it seem like Jon's character purpose is being a bastard, because that's the wrong conclusion in my opinion. The point and most important aspect to Jon is being Ned Stark's bastard. And then he's going to find out the man he believed to be his father is not his father at all. The issue with this is that people conflate that with legitimacy which is also the wrong conclusion because that's exactly Aegon's plot, not Jon's. The point of R+L=J is the fact that Jon Snow will no longer be Ned Stark's bastard son, which will devastate him.

However ... how-fucking-ever ... D&D decided to forgo this important facet of Jon and did decide to not write the THIRD HEAD OF THE DRAGON into the story but give the part of Aegon's plotline of being the legitimate heir in the books to show!Jon, which left a very big problem: How were they going to justify why there was a legitimacy battle going down between Jon and Dany when Jon can't even be the legitimate heir if his parents are not married? Which they weren't. Because Rhaegar only needed a Visenya for his already-there Rhaenys and Aegon, and as the future king he could just legitimize his own bastards without any trouble. So he did not need to marry Lyanna to have a child with her per se, especially not the Visenya she was supposed to bear him. And I especially do not believe Lyanna was in any way or form in love with him or that she went with him willingly, considering what we know of her.

Besides, when Rhaegar returned from the Tower of Joy after making sure he raped a baby into Lyanna to King's Landing to ride off for the Trident, he said this to Jaime about Elia, Rhaenys and Aegon:

“And the children, them as well,” said Prince Lewyn.

Prince Rhaegar burned with a cold light, now white, now red, now dark. “I left my wife and children in your hands.”

“I never thought he’d hurt them.” Jaime’s sword was burning less brightly now. “I was with the king … ”

ASOS, Jaime VI.

So you see how he still refers to Elia as his wife, meaning no damn annulment took place? He can't even fucking annul a marriage that is fully legal and totally consummated, and prophecy-obsessed Rhaegar 100% would never cast away his two children HE DEEMED TO BE 2/3 HEADS OF HIS THREE-HEADED DRAGON and he sure as fuck did not make Aegon, literally the son he believed to be the PTWP (as seen by Dany's vision in the HOTU), a bastard. D&D just shot themselves in the foot because they gave Young Griff/Aegon's book storyline of being the legitimate heir to Jon and had to make sense of why it would be him to be the legitimate heir when Rhaegar's legal wife was not Lyanna but Elia.

The entire bullshit way RxL went down in the show was just more proof to me that Young Griff is the real Aegon since D&D just had to make Jon a legitimate son. LMFAO.

[betrayalbracket]

Is there any funny explanations?

oh, quite a few! we'll post our favorites under the cut! they'll include both full descriptions and pieces of descriptions that we found funny! as a fun game, try to guess who they're describing.

- "Mindy is an NPC who will offer to trade you her Haunter for a Medicham. Now, Haunter is a Pokémon that evolves by trade into Gengar, a popular Pokémon that’s hard to get if you’re like me and have no friends. So you trade with her and get the Haunter and does it evolve? No. Because MINDY tricked you. She put an everstone on that Haunter. She has no reason to do so other than pure malice. Mindy is easily the most villainous character in the Pokémon multiverse. Worse than all the crime lords and child abusers and guys that try to kill god." (just this entire submission is pure gold. you're so right. fuck mindy) - "You just shot your son asshole." - "Also when I was writing a high school au he literally could not be on screen without commenters squinting suspiciously at him even though the worst he ever did on screen was be a bad kisser and kind of a douche and that is still the funniest thing to. I was trying to play a long game and lull my audience into a false sense of security and I just couldn't get them to relax with him." - "Also he has dimples! He’s so cute! Evil baby" - "like 2 weeks later he robs and then tries to murder them. ow oof owie" - "in jcs canon: judas sees his best bud/maybe boyfriend jesus getting super popular and worries that it’s all going to backfire on them! so he tries to help by going to the authorities and having jesus arrested so that maybe jesus will get knocked down a peg or two. BUT instead they beat and crucify him and judas is like oh fuck maybe that was a bad idea. then he offs himself and comes back to life one song later to sing a baller 70s pop ballad. and the most fun part is that jesus KNEW the whole time judas would betray him so it hurts even more!! in bible canon: uhh idk he sells out jesus for 30 silver pieces just because :/" (i never thought anything would make me want to see a musical about jesus but here we are. anyways i love "just because :/") - "look at his big fucking eyes . ok now hes killed his teammates numerous times." - "Cask of amontillado-ed the soul of the planet Earth" - "and then he tried to execute all three of them. e rated video games." - "10/10 betrayal georg" - "She also has multiple charges of manslaughter/j" - "also he totally failed at the godhood thing" - "attempts to stab the main character in the back (and I don't mean it metaphorically or rhetorically or poetically or theorecally or in any other fancy way, he had a knife)" - "But oh, he's just so precious while he does it, such a silly little bastard who deserved that punch in the face from Stan 😋"

- "tricking kirby and friends into helping him repair his ship and beating the shit outa landia to get the master crown and then he steals the master crown and becomes god for a good 10 seconds and then kirby beats the shit outta him and sends him to hell. Is basiclly catboy Judas" - "oh you know. tricking a little inspiring scientist named ford build a little doomsday device. making him go insane and lose trust in everyone and completely destroy his life. almost ending the entire universe for a frat party. yknow. just silly things" - "Bitch fucking used Kirby and pals to fix his ship while he sat back and drank mamaosas before then tricking them into committing a coup on another world’s head of state bEFORE STEALING THE MASTER CROWN!!!! HE’S A LITTLE BITCH!!!!" - "Pretended to be my friend only because he wanted to execute me and my lizard bestie multiple times. He then tried to become friends with said lizard bestie only to betray him AGAIN. I have trust issues because of this man." - "I just know someone will drop the whole stitch but there's a reason he's paired with Sans from Undertale, theoretically betrays the players, I digress, in "Fingers up your ass" for no reason." - "Promised us the first female doctor. Ended up shattering the lore in half, spitting in our faces and then fucked off. Fuck you Chibby your Torchwood episodes aren't even that good" - "claimed to be scared of being murdered and asked to switch rooms with the protagonist, when really she planned on killing somebody and pinning the blame on him. girlboss swag!" - "Made deals, but instead of the cliche soul thing he KIDNAPPED PEOPLE STRAIGHT TO HELL." - "was actually from an alternate universe (where everyone is evil, don’t worry about it btw)" - "Bro. Buddy. Need I say more. My man straight up kidnapped a glasses girlboss, Oprah Winfrey, my actress lookalike, and a human duck. What an icon." - "idk man I’m agnostic and was raised atheist, I’m pretty sure he was once an angel and got demoted and stuff???" - "Killed me while i was doing a download (the most awfullest crime, worse than killing someone normally)" - "like. she kills so many people that are her friends and . i mean. what wasn't her betrayal?" - "Was literally just A Guy but it turns out he Was Not and was actually Evil The Whole Time" - "she didn’t do anything i just hate her (this is /j don’t include her in the bracket/lh)" (she's not going in the bracket but she's being immortalized here) - "Betrayed both the villain and the protagonist (i think, i just know his theme slaps)"

- "The entire plot of How Bad Can I Be really. Look me in the eyes and tell me im wrong" - "Put me in the fucking character betrayal pole the fruity little twink /lhj/j/j/nsrs" - "Cheated on Perry the Platypus with Peter the Panda (season 1 ep 7 it's about time"

- "he pissed on Eggman’s wife (and fucked her but the entire cast did tbh so)"

- "he promised raf he’d bring him back a snowball and he fucking didn’t"

- "Slept in my brother’s bed last night instead of mine >:("

- "That fucker voted me out AFTER SEEING ME SCAN. Bitch"

- "He was so nice and them bam 💥 sicced Giratina on us"

- "Borrowed a 20 and never gave it back. Pay up"

- "wouldn't you like to know weather boy /ref"

- "He stabbed that old man right in his pussy"

- "Nice-guying at Mabel, terrible hair" (tbh though i'd argue this wasn't even his betrayal- more something about him convincing the entire town he's just a harmless little psychic, or him telling dipper oh there's no issue this sort of thing happens and then trying to fucking kill him)

- "got jesus killed innit" - "Jesus"

and also, as a bonus, one that isn't a description but was still very funny: "that one motherfucker who killed me with the ultra stamp when I was trying to go for the ultra signal even though we're technically on the same team you fucking bastard"

[complete-idiot-in-love]

Once Upon a Witchlight: Episode 50 (SPOILERS AHEAD)

I'm so sad that I have to wait now for the next episode, how will I survive without my goofy bitches found family???

Sorry that this one's extra long, I added in some pre and post episode comments uwu

Final episode before I have to wait :(

OOOOOO FANART INTRO!!!!!

THE GANG AS POKEMON OMG YES!!!!

Are they gonna be streaming on Youtube now or was this a one time thing? (I hope they stream on youtube)

I want to join the Discord so badly but my social anxiety won’t let me :(

Derek is back! Frost must’ve got over his IBS!

Soundboard noises (Of course Derek does the best one lmao)

I love all the funny noises and voices they do, I wish I was as vocally talented as them

YOOOOOO, THEY’RE GUESTS AT PAX!!! SO PROUD OF THEM, WISH I COULD GO

Mikey’s sweater looks so soft, I wonder where he got it (I fuckin LOVE sweaters fr fr)

The ring of chaos one-shot was so good, I love Joetetee and wish he could come back

Mikey gaslighting people with a FNAF reference is so damn funny, he truly is a gaslight girlboss while Torbek is a girlfailure

I WOULD TOTALLY WATCH A MUPPET MOVIE WITH THEM, I FUCKIN LOVE THE MUPPETS

Mikey says “Here we go” when Rich mentions the muppet movies like my friends when I gush over my hyperfixations lmao, Rich definitely has talked about this before ALSO FUCK U DISNEY FOR STOPPING THE MUPPETS FROM MAKING MORE MOVIES, THOSE ARE COMEDY GOLD

I’m glad they all switch positions and don’t make one person a perma-DM :)

I actually have a bugbear character from waaay back in 2018 so if Torbek makes the race popular I’d be VERY appreciative. They’re one of my favorite races along with satyrs fr fr

 “Torbek’s bringing sexy back” HAHA

DEREK IS FULL-TIME AVANTRIS, DOES THIS MEAN ALL 6 OF EM WORK FOR AVANTRIS AND WON’T MISS A SESSION ANYMORE?? FROST CAN FINALLY HAVE A GUYS NIGHT!!!

Twin dads with man buns /j

Mikey keeps using his Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss actions to get more people to watch the ring of chaos one shot, very funny :)

Derek is a #gamer fr fr

“Derek is bussing fr fr”

Grinko Gladfrown, Mourning Font, Krepe Lacroix, Thorbek and Giddyon Charcoal /j

Andy doing his dancy dance in the background is so gender fr fr

I love these goofy bitches, they’ve spent hour doing NOTHING but I don’t mind cause they’re hilarious

I would love a studio tour, their cables probably look like spaghetti but their knick knacks are probably so poggers looking

I CAN WATCH THEM AT PAX ON TWITCH ON THE 1ST??? YOOOOOOOOOO I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!

Rich SHOULD DM someday, I bet he’d do a great job

Finally we’re getting bean footage after an hour of jokes but I honestly wouldn’t care if they made a 4 hour video of just them fuckin around

We finally met Will and he’s got a knife! “What do you have?” “A KNIFE!” “NOOO”

OH SHIT, HE CALLED KREMY A CROC

Favorite comment: “​forgot how much I love torbek, he's like a wet cat that has alcohol poisoning”

All the little “Friend on the other side” References Kremy does just strengthens my belief that he’s based off the movie

Emergency broadcast: Five fully grown men are arguing with a literal child

Carnival Lecroux need a swear jar fr fr /j

“We could totally murder a horde of kids” FROSTY WTF???

Frost “flossing” and Kremy + Gricko talking about VBucks is so damn funny, more interactions for my Actor AU fr fr /j

MIKEY ACTUALLY GOT A HAT FOR WHEN GRICKO DOES THE 45 DEGREE BODY TILT OMFG

“You can call me Morning Floss!” “I wish I was dead!” SAME KREMY, SAME

“All of you are so damn embarrassing, you’re lucky I love y’all” - My S/I with their head in their hands

KREMY NO, DON’T OFFER KIDS ALCOHOL!!!!

Kremy and Gideon spiking their Sierra Mountain Mist is so canon. My S/I would totally try to drink with them but be absolutely disgusted at the mixture

Kremy and Gideon are drunk lmao

“FR FR, THIS DRINK BE SKIBIDI PHANTOM TAX ON GOD!” WHAT???? I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR SKIBIDI AND PHANTOM TAX, IS GRICKO DRUNK TOO???? “This ain’t no Ohio drink. You a straight rizzler fr fr, giving me this skibidi drink” GRICKO PLEASE, STOP!!!

“We don’t know what children like, we ran a carnival” HAHA, GOOD ONE FROSTY

These dudes should never interact with children /j

“Y’all’re so weak lmao, straight up unpogger girlfailures. You definitely let people diss your fly girls” - My S/I messing with them because they’re a gremlin

“We’re both trying to protect our found family” HE SAID THE THING OMFG, KREMY SAID THE THING!!!!! MY S/I WOULD BE SO FUCKIN HAPPY TO KNOW THAT THEIR DAD ACTUALLY SEES THEM AS FAMILY!!!

IS MORNING MIST POISON??? ARE WE GONNA DIE????

These fuckers got a whole side campaign of quests to do /j

Wouldn’t Bavlorna’s place be better than Yon? She’s the one that likes children after all

“What is gyatt? What is amogus?” Hootsie and I are very much in the cringe zone as the only two party members young enough to understand the slang Gricko is using

TORBEK IS CURSED TO BE A(R/U)TISTIC!! (We would draw pictures together fr fr uwu)

Gideon is a coward, he’s turned into Torbek! /j

Kremy is a kleptomaniac (So basically the same lmao)

Rich with the 80’s rad hat is so funny for some reason??

Frost is forced to confess to doing bad things even if he has to lie about em (He’s a masochist lmao)

Gricko is magnetic and got stuck to Torbek’s back HAHA

Gideon’s a cowardly vampire LMAO

“DON’T CUT GRICKO’S THROAT, TORBEK’S NOT DONE DRAWING HIM YET” HAHAHAHAHA

Why are they always trying to kill Gricko??? It’s funny but weird

WERE-GATOR KREMY RETURNS!!!!!

New favorite comments: “Werewolf thief and a cowardly vampire, what a pair” and “Avantris News: Four adult men sacrifice a green child to appease child gods”

NAT 20 TO ATTACK TORBEK FROM KREMY BUT NIKKIE DREADED IT

My S/I would be so confused at this chaos, I’d probably over with Hootsie and Juniper knitting because they don’t drink soda or alcohol (Based off myself irl)

“These fucking dumbasses, they’re lucky I’m sane in these moments” - My S/I

So excited to see Torbek’s masterpiece

Carnivale lecroux is spelled the fancy way, makes sense for someone like Kremy to spell his business like that (I’ll probably forget and still spell it carnival tho)

I love just listening to them talk about movies with each other, it's really nice :)

Nikkie hoarding mementos from witchlight behind the DM screen is so sweet!

UNICORN OUTFIT FOR KREMY?????

HAHA KREMY GOT THROWN OUT OF LITTLE OAK

GRICKO, STOP DRINKING THE POOP WATER!!!!

When TORBEK is disgusted by you, you know you fucked up!!

Oh thank the gods, it was a prank by will

CANDY??? TORBEK AND I WANT CANDY!!!!!

Besties who share a sweet tooth and trauma/abandonment issues stay besties forever

“The water in the pool does more than just quench your thirst!” “NOT ANYMORE” Gideon/Torbek unison joke!!!

I love Nikkie and her horde of dolls :)

“I also agree with Torbek, we need to kill that bitch of a hag!” - My S/I

TELL US THE STORY ABOUT THE WENDY’S BATHROOM WHEN Y'ALL WENT TO GENCON

Gricko got the diarrhea this episode lmao

“Fill up squirt” sounds so suggestive

Empty capri sun Gricko is so funny

DISPLACER BEAST KITTY!!!!! YES!!!!!

How many days/nights have these guys been in Prismeer? 4? 5? 6? (The only times I remember them sleeping is: Night at the inn, Frog palace, Mushroom forest high, Pixie camp sleepover, Jabberwock death and now here at little oak)

If Torbek was gone for an hour and that was five years, most of these kid’s parents probably don’t even realize they’ve been kidnapped and are missing

It’s canon to me that my S/I and Torbek sleep on a pile on the floor like Gricko does with Hootsie (Besties with abandonment issues and a love of physical affection uwu)

Who the hell names their kids Bongo and Flute???

My S/I Canonically knows Goblin but I feel like they wouldn’t tell Gricko or Torbek cause they like to eavesdrop in those two’s dumbass conversations lmao

BONGOLLOMEW??????

“Skibidi on god” “fr fr no cap” “BUSSIN!!” I’ve changed my mind, I hate these people /j

DO I ACTUALLY GET TO LISTEN TO AVANTRIS AND CHILL??? POGGGGERS!!!

Gricko turns into a milkshake via Frosty’s mage hand /j

THEY ORDERED $400 WORTH OF PIZZA FOR THE RING OF CHAOS ONE SHOT???? THATS SO FUCKIN MUCH, MACE!

Nikkie loves Fortnite and that makes me happy bc I like Fortnite

Thank you Derek for teaching me waterdrop and breaking nose sound effect :)

[cto10121]

R&J Clown Takes Round ♾ Part 12

In which there is a lot of sympathy for the devil parents, more Romeo the Death Eater-ing, and heartbreaking! One of my favorite shorts creators did a Rosaline skit and attracted all the clowns to her yard. I forgive her, but not the clownery. Hie-ho, and away we go

Sympathy For the Parents

‘If they only just talked to their poor parents, there would have been no tragedy!1!!1”

Yes, the Montague parents seem like nice people. They are concerned with Romeo’s odd behavior, Mama Montague dies of heartbreak when her son is banished, etc. Then again, Lord Capulet seemed like a very decent parent as well, refusing Paris’ suit and wanting to let at least two summers go by before Juliet can marry. And we all know how that went.

With regards to Lord Capulet, he is definitely characterized as a fair weather friend—if you are with him, it’s cool, but if you in any way threaten his authority…you’re a saucy boy and his fingers begin to itch. Lord Montague may be of that same ilk for all we know. Why else would Romeo trust Friar Lawrence with his crush over his own parents and even, er, Benvolio?

While it’s totally normal for teens to keep things to themselves, I think we can trust Romeo and Juliet’s assessment of their parents in terms of trust and reliability as an unfortunately correct one, at least when it comes to this. After all, the very first appearance of the lords is when they are threatening to kill each other. So yeah.

At least you know Paris as a paternalistic douche, OP. Small wonders.

Yes, it sucks that Paris died for virtually no reason at all. Guy wasn’t that bad. However, I must question this framing of Paris’ death as him dying to defend Juliet.

He does say that the Capulets believe that Juliet died out of grief of Tybalt’s death, and so blames Romeo for it. He also believes that Romeo is here “to do some villainous shame / To the dead bodies.” Not just Juliet, then, but Tybalt as well. He then tries to do a citizens’ arrest on Romeo.

Romeo does try to correct this misunderstanding, telling him that he is armed against himself. But as Romeo really isn’t well, and oblivious Paris is oblivious…🤷‍♀️

YMMV, but I feel Paris didn’t have to fight Romeo, especially when the latter was refusing to. He could well have called the guards and/or trapped Romeo in there. Romeo would probably had let him, as he was about to die, anyway, so it made no difference.

So no, I feel this doesn’t make Romeo less sympathetic. Romeo at that point is a dead man walking, and he more than makes up for it by honoring Paris’ last wishes and not being jealous that Paris loved her too. I think most productions just cut his death for time and for ‘eh, unnecessary, loose end, breaks Romeo’s reunion with Juliet’ reasons than ‘oh, no, Romeo is unlikable now and we can’t have that’ reasons.

There are just so many better Shakespeare plays!!! Like…like…you know! Hamlet and Macbeth…which are in the curriculum already and taught widely…shit, um…Twelfth Night and Much Ado…shit, they’re taught too…er…You know what I mean, much better Shakespeare plays!!! *foot stomp*

Romeo Hate Dumb Round Infinity and Beyond

Romeo was a discord mod, Juliet was his kitten—

*Planet of the Apes: The Musical voice*

He loved ev’ry girl he met

From Rosaline to Juliet

Yes, he fell in love with ev’ry bland coquette

Oh, no, wait, you are wrong

It was two all along

And the one he truly loved was

Yes, the one he truly loved was

The one he had truly loved was Juliet!

And now these dumbasses are trying to use this play as a teaching tool against suicide, fuck, okay, PSA, this play is not a good tool for teaching teen suicide REPEAT this play is not good for teaching teen suicide!!!

How dare this main character have main character energy!!! 😡😡😡😡😡 The audacity of this motherfucker!!! (Also re: English teachers: Why must they always have to say their headcanons as if they are canon? The Rosaline fan dumb is so big)

Thanks, OP. Now I can be sure never to go near the thing with a ten-foot pole. How the hell can you make the premise to that freakin’ Rosaline movie better by comparison????

Tag yourself, I’m “perving on her underage cousin”