#tore my writing to shreds <3

[lemonswriting]

red pen my beloved <333

[shadowdarlings]

Rain & Redemption II

Tamlin x Reader

Synopsis : The Lord of Spring has returned, with his nightingale in tow. While readapting to civilized life you and Tamlin face reality together.

part one

Pairings : TamlinxReader

a/n : so i am really digging the first part of this story and decided that i want to continue writing at 12:07am so i hope you enjoy this as much as i did <3

Warnings : slight angst (with comfort), mentions of trauma, suggestiveness, as always possessive tamlin (in a good way)

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Dinner with Tamlin was a drawn out affair. The deer he hunted down, no doubt in his beast form, had to be prepped and cooked. While he began dressing the fallen creature you took it upon yourself to begin sifting through the discarded and destroyed artifacts that littered the dining area. Although the manor had been shredded and abandoned, you couldn’t help but marvel at its refreshing beauty. Here there was light. Massive glass windows looked out to a rose garden that was surely once well manicured. The sun had already started its descent past the horizon but light still streamed in from every corner. The manor was everything that your home under that gods forsaken mountain wasn’t. The Hewn City was all darkness and stale air. You began sorting things into two piles. Items that were fairly unharmed were deemed “to keep”, others that had been completely torn apart were tossed into a discard pile. The two of you worked diligently in silence until he looked up from the deer and said, “You never told me your name.” You tore your gaze from the chipped vase in your hands and met his stare. “You never asked,” you began with a playful smugness, “but it’s Y/N.” Something unreadable flickered in his green eyes before a slight smirk cracked on his face. “Well, Y/N,” he said with a dramatic pause, “our dinner is ready to be cooked. How do you like your venison?”

You both agreed that without a working kitchen that a fire would be the best way to roast the deer. While he built a fire you toyed with an idea. “What if we preserved some of this beautiful bounty into something that will last beyond a night?” you asked him. Tamlin threw another piece of wood onto the makeshift fire and answered your question with his own. “As in a jerky? How do you mean?” That was exactly what you had meant. The future of your time in this manor and when you would next have a full meal was entirely uncertain. The topic had hardly been broached. “Unless you intend to spend the rest of your days hunting and building fires, it might be a prudent idea.” He looked you over before replying, “Smart, little bird. We’ll make two steaks for tonight and dry out the rest. It should preserve overnight and we can feast on jerky for weeks.” Satisfied with your quick thinking you helped him prepare the meat for roasting.

“What did you mean when you said you are not fit to be a ruler?” you asked after another bout of silence. Tamlin stilled his spinning of your dinner over the fire and his gaze shot to the flames between you. “I’m sorry,” you quickly said, “If I’m prying too much.” He did not look up from the inferno but said quietly, “I have abandoned my people and my post. Those who reside in the Spring Court put their faith in me. I have failed them again and again, in so many ways.” You blinked once at his brutal honesty before prodding further. “Will they not look to you once more? Surely there is a way to regain their trust.” His eyes moved from the fire to your own. They were filled with such sadness, such regret. “I would not know where to start, little nightingale.” You scoffed lightly as his response. “Well,” you began, “I think leaving those woods and coming home is already a start, wouldn’t you say? If you’re willing to return just to ensure the safety of a lone Night Court citizen, I can’t imagine what you might be willing to do for your people.” The sadness in his eyes faded ever so slightly as he said, “Since you’re so full of wisdom tonight, pray tell how might I continue this path of redemption?” You smiled at that.

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Tamlin was restless. Every time he started to fade away, sleep evaded him and he was jolted awake by poisoned memories. He had declared that he wanted to sleep outside the manor to stay alert for any looters or more dangerous creatures. He’d shifted into his beast form and taken post directly in front of the entrance just as night had overtaken the Spring Court. Truly, he was not sure if he was ready to sleep under this roof again. The two of you had talked for hours, discussing your histories and what the future of the Spring Court might look like. He’d escorted you to your room and bid you a gentlemanly goodnight, but your conversation replayed in his mind endlessly. A loose plan had been set in place to begin repairing his relations with those that depended on him. You had been so eager and determined while you both brainstormed ideas for making amends. He admired your tenacity yet was not fully convinced that this plan would work effectively. The thought made him queasy. His heart began a pace that tightened his chest and he was sure that if he’d been in his fae form that his palms would be sweaty. Tamlin shoved his anxieties down and recalled what you had told him about Rhysand, about how he’d condemned the entire Hewn City to a life of cruelty and rot. Although the idea of tomorrow sent him into an unending panic, he did not wish for you or any of his people to endure the same neglect for another moment.

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The morning light creeped in through the open window in your bedroom. It took a moment to recall everything that had happened, where you now were. The bedding had been dusty but a few shakes had it cleaner than before. You didn’t mind dirt, you’d spent a year lying on the forest floor. Waking up in a soft bed had become unfamiliar, but you relished the softness of the pillows and blankets before sitting to stretch your limbs. Moving to the armoire, you sifted through the clothing to find a pale green dress and a set of cream slippers. The outfit was plain but you didn’t particularly mind. Your mission for today did not require glittering attire. You fixed your hair into a loose braid and pulled two strands from the front to frame your face. After giving yourself a once over in the looking glass you deemed your appearance fit for the task at hand.

Tamlin was already dressed in a tunic and pants that were similar in style to the night before. You only gave yourself a moment to admire his wide shoulders before clearing your throat. He turned from his work on the piles you had created the night before and said “Good morning,” before he faltered. His eyes widened slightly and dragged up and down your figure. Meeting your gaze once more he choked out, “Well don’t we look the picture of Spring today?” You rolled your eyes at him and moved to take the picture frame from his hands. “We have a job to do, remember?” Tamlin huffed out a weak laugh before replying, “How could I ever forget?” He looked tired. You wondered if he slept as marvelously as you did. Considering that he spent the night on a set of marble stones you didn’t know how he possibly could.

The two of you moved outside to where the deer had been smoking overnight. Indeed it had preserved itself into a jerky that would remain edible for weeks. He started packing the strips into the wooden bin you had found in the kitchens when you said, “I have another idea.” He did not pause his movement or even look at you as he said, “Of course you do.” You pulled a basket from behind your back and waved it in front of his face to draw his attention. “I was thinking,” you began, “we should gather some flowers to take as well. These gardens are completely overrun. There are flowers and berries that need culling anyhow.” He straightened and assessed the gardens before the manor. “As you wish,” was all he said. Tamlin had been quieter than he was last night. You thought it best not to pry further and with his permission granted made your way into the thick of the garden and began collecting the fruits of spring.

When your basket was full and Tamlin had stored all of the dried meat you both began your trek to the nearest village. On horseback, he had told you, it would only take a half hour to reach your destination. After the fall of Spring his array of horses had all been stolen or set free by anonymous citizens. After two hours of walking the two of you were tired and parched. A nearby stream trickled with fresh water and you both drank deeply from its supply. “It’s just over that hill,” he said. The hike had been mostly silent. You were learning to enjoy quiet moments with the High Lord. It was almost as if you had a mutual understanding that the silence was not rude, but instead a peaceful reprieve. “No turning back now,” you said, standing from the stream and straightening your lightweight gown. He grunted in acknowledgment as you both continued your parade to the village.

The sight of the meager town was heartbreaking. Several houses and shops had fallen into rubble and the village center had looked as equally abandoned as the manor. Tamlin halted immediately, his breath quickening. Sensing his discomfort you moved to lace your fingers between his, squeezing tightly. The High Lord did not balk from your touch but instead gave a light squeeze back and continued his approach. The two of you reached a small home that had a plume of smoke rising from a stone chimney. A sign of life. Unlocking your hands you raised a fist and gave two sharp knocks to the wooden door. A few moments of shuffling and then the door swung open to reveal a gruff looking fae male. His eyes first landed on you, then travelled upwards to the towering Lord behind you. The male’s eyes widened with shock and reproach. “To what do I owe the honor of this visit?” he spat at you both. You calmed the annoyance that flowed through you and made your voice gentle as you said, “I- We come to offer a favor to you and your home.” The male looked down at your basket and the dried jerky Tamlin held in his hand. “We don’t need your charity,” the male responded, “we’ve been fairing well enough on our own, girl.” A sweet voice sounded from further into the house, “Mikah? Who is it?” A pretty looking female stepped into the light of the entrance and put her hand on Mikah’s arm. When she turned her gaze to the two of you her expression almost mirrored the males’. “Our High Lord and his… this girl have brought favors.” She looked down to the goods you had presented and back to Mikah. “I told them we were just fine,” he said with a hint of finality in his tone. The female scoffed at him and observed the two of you once more. “We are most certainly not,” she started. “Invite him and the girl inside.” With that she turned and strode back into the house. Mikah gave Tamlin an incredulous look but opened the door further for you to enter.

The female’s name was Cera, you had learned. She fussed over dishes and refreshments as she lamented about their struggles. The village had been ripe for naga attacks and most residents had decided to evacuate the area for fear of their families. “Mikah did not want to leave, of course. He spends most of his days hunting, although they are not always fruitful.” You and Tamlin listened carefully to her story. There were only a few families that had stayed after his disappearance. They all struggled. You glanced over at Tamlin and were met with a stern face. His jaw was set and his eyes were dark with despair. Underneath the modest wooden table you grasped his hand once more, turning your attention back to Cera. The four of you spoke for several hours. You and Tamlin expressed your willingness to help in any way you could with the naga and the rebuilding of the village. After exchanging the dried meats and gifts from your basket, the two of you made your way back to the front of their house. “Thank you for having us,” you said “It’s been a pleasure making your acquaintance.” Cera reached out to pick up your hands. She looked at you then at Tamlin, her eyes pricked with tears. “Thank you for coming back. We need you,” she said. He nodded his head towards her and straightened as he said, “I could not have done it alone. It will take all of us to rebuild. I am thankful for your time.”

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Tamlin let out a heavy sigh when the two of you began your walk back to the manor. The day had been filled with conversations like the first he’d had with Mikah and Cera. The two of you had made your way to most of the families remaining in the village and presented your gifts as well as your pledges to restore their homes and lives. He was exhausted. Once the two of you had crested the hill overlooking the town he paused. You looked at him in curiosity. He was overwhelmed with emotions… gratitude, despair, grief, hopefulness, apprehension. Without thinking he grabbed your waist and pulled you close against his chest. He could hear your smooth, calming heartbeat. He breathed in your scent and closed his eyes. Only two days ago he had been more beast than man. Now he was walking on two legs and meeting with the people who had once trusted him. He felt your hands wrap around his middle as you nuzzled into him further. He could have stayed like this forever, but you pulled back looking up at him with those bright gorgeous eyes. “You did well today,” you said to him still in his grasp, “I’m proud of you.” Tamlin hadn’t heard such perfect words in a very long time.

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Taglist : @lilah-asteria @booksnwriting @stained-glass-eyes0708 @anxious-cactus @thrumbolt @jesskidding3 @acotarxreader @nocasdatsgay @scorpioriesling

[yeonzzzn]

hi!!! love your writing! I have a request…what would you think with enhypen hyung line mlt to rip your clothes🤭

omg hi! tysm! this is my first mlt so I hope this is exactly what you’re looking for anon!

most

oh jay would sooooo be into ripping your clothes off. shirts, pants, skirts, dresses, bras, panties, doesn’t matter what type of clothing, it’s being torn in pieces. something about the way the fabric just tears apart between his fingers to reveal your beautiful body gets him going mostly when he’s in dire need to feel your bare skin against his and needs access FAST. just digs his fingers into your oversized tee shirt using a small amount of strength to tear the fabric to reveal your newly laced black bra, he immediately groans as his mouth finds your breasts and fingers looping under the bra to rip it away. but don’t worry, he’ll take you out shopping to replace them <3

I believe sunghoon would also be into it completely because of the faces you'd make and the soft moans that would release from your pretty lips as he tucks his bottom lip between his teeth and pulls the fabrics apart revealing your body that he loves and worships so much. him loving the way your body squirms underneath him as his tongue is making its way down your throat while his fingers work the magic of tearing your pretty pink panties into pieces to slide his fingers between your folds <3

heeseung would rip your clothes by accident in the way of pulling the clothing off your body too fast. it mostly being your panties. his needy fingers not completely looping under your panties correctly as he pulls them down your long legs in a fast attempt to get them off ASAP and accidentally tearing one of the sides from pulling it too hard. heeseung would also sometimes so be into ripping your clothing depending on his needy level or how sexy you’d look in the new laced set you bought just to show it off to him. oh man, that he completely tore to shreds to get it off your body <3

jake, kinda like heeseung, would tear your clothing by accident in a needy rush to get you naked quickly not wanting to wait for a second longer to push your pretty head into the pillows. jake would also feel terrible if he ripped your clothing purposely. he even hated it when he accidentally broke the zipper to your favorite blue skin-tight dress just by helping you out of it. now, if you bought clothing specifically for jake to rip, well then that’s all fair game <3

least

[miss-multi45]

OK hear me out, I had an idea : what if reader presented herself as innocent, nice, you know like big doe eyes and all. So the ghouls assume she is a poor innocent lamb in need of protection. UNTIL one day, some guy just takes it too far with her and just as the ghouls are about to jump in to protect her, she becomes ABSOLUTELY FERAL and maims the guy.

How would the ghouls react, do you think ?

P.S : I love all your writings <3

gonna go with the idea that reader's a ghoulette in this. thank you for the ask, sweetheart.

a/n: cw/tw: gore and mentions of sexual stuff

A noise between a trill and a growl comes from the ghoul's throat when the guy starts making comments about how he'd like to see you in pretty white lace lingerie, but before creep could touch you, his blood had painted your body like the lingerie in his imagination...

swiss

fanboying.

screams "OH FUCK YES GIRL!"

and parades about the ministry with you in his arms bridal style meanwhile there is still blood on your body.

he doesn't care less about the blood, he's a fucking ghoul.

he just wants to brag about you to the entire ministry.

sodo

raises his eyebrows in slight shock, but then walks towards you with his hand raised for a high five.

tail is wagging, and he gives you head scritchies which makes you purr and nuzzle against him.

disposes of the body which means the ghouls and ghoulettes ate the dead body.

what? sometimes they eat people..

rain

slightly shocked by the sudden blood spray, but then he just shakes himself off like a cat and drags you away from the scene to craft an alibi.

sticks with leaving the guy outside to rot while he makes hot chocolate for the ghouls and they all watch Rite Here Rite Now in the ghoul den.

phantom

he got angry when the guy started making comments about your boobs, like really angry, asking if they were warm and squishy.

how dare he, phantom, the ghouls, and the ghoulettes were the only ones allowed to know that and see your plush boobies (lol) in all their glory.

so he wasn't at all upset when you clawed the incel's neck open with those dazzling claws of yours, watching as he slumped onto the floor with a sea of blood gushing out.

you kissed over his dead body.

mountain

anyone who doesn't respect the lovely ladies of the ministry and the entire universe is automatically on mountain's kill list.

happy when you killed the shithead and growled at his dead body, that's his girl.

cleaned you up while you were swinging your legs and gave him smoochies.

aether

was standing behind the fuckface ready to take him out when you beat him to it.

leaned over his body, examining the injuries.

"good punch." he said before walking away with your bloodied hand in his.

omega

watching from a distance, leaning forward on a bench with his hands clasped together.

he was growling under his breath, his eyes flashing with bloodlust whenever the man smirked suggestively at his pretty little ghoulette.

proud when you tore him to shreds yourself, like yes queen girliepop we love to see it.

aurora taught him that slang

alpha

we all know he's teasing, smug and possessive.

which means he's walking towards you, and when he reaches you he grips your hip with one hand and your waist with the other.

chuckles when you swing at the guy, resulting in blood spraying all over you and alpha, but alpha didn't give two shits about the blood. he was just proud of his girl.

ifrit

the guy's digging himself a grave, teasing a cute and innocent ghoulette like you when he didn't know you had a big, bad, and sexy ghoul mate waiting to sink his teeth into his neck.

he was incredibly flabbergasted when you dealt with it yourself, and walked over to your with his hands slightly raised in disbelief.

gives you the most amazing head that night as a reward for your good work.

aurora

she was sat on a bench, sipping her strawberry boba while holding your blueberry boba in her other hand.

she had just gotten her claws done with you, as you were having a girls day out.

screams "THAT'S MY FUCKING GIRL SLAY THAT MAN QUEEN!" when you kill the dude bothering a clearly lesbian ghoulette.

cirrus

leaning against a wall when she saw the bland concrete being splattered with ruby red blood and thought something had happened to you.

but no, it was just her pretty little pillow princess tearing a man to shreds for making inappropriate comments and gestures to her.

walks over and kicks the dead guy, then swings you over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes back to the ministry.

cumulus

what the fuck??

she left you for two seconds, TWO seconds, and a guy was already trying to get in your pants?

satan on a fucking enchilada, human men were annoying.

but all that irritation was killed at the same time he was, and she just stood there in a proud girlfriend stance.

mist

UGH, this is why the only men mist hangs out with are the ghouls, brothers of sin, and the papas.

has a visible expression of disgust on her face when the fuckhead starts talking about how he thinks that women were made to serve their husbands, and you had the same expression as her.

so you quickly shut him up with claws to the chest which cut through his heart in no time, prancing over to your girlfriend and giving her an innocent peck on the cheek.

[causenessus]

for your event, can I request suna with ⭐️ and 🍳? :D

Almond Butter. | Suna Rintarou

suna x f!reader

written in 2nd pov and it tore me to shreds

prompts from 1k followers event -> ⭐ -> insomnia & 🍳 -> cooking

"you've adored me before, oh my good looking boy." from good looking (stripped) by suki waterhouse

word count: 1.1k words

notes: fluff <333 i can't help talking about how hot and sexy this man is everytime i write for him i am so in love with him i am barking from him HHHHH— suna being a good boyfriend and brother!!! i love this man to bits and pieces <3 1K WRITING EVENT IS BACK IN SESSION!!! AND SO AM I!! NESS!! FOR A SINGLE DAY!! WITH CRAPPY WRITING!! i'm obsessed with him and him only using petnames and also i see this as a scenario being quite early into your relationship with him <3 and basically this being the first time he says "i love you" to you (without realizing it) and you realizing you love him (and being too sleepy to say it)(this makes more sense once you read the drabble)

mango anon, if you see this <3 this is us <3 this is me making u almond butter toast <3

cw: food, talk about food chemistry and how your brain converts food to melatonin using carbs yay science! work is not exactly proofread

you’ve been waiting in your living room for the past 10 minutes.

well, actually, you’ve been waiting for the past two hours to go to sleep but your brain won't let you, no matter how tired you feel.

finally giving up any chance of falling asleep soon in your bed, you let the screen of your phone blind you as you shoot a quick text to your boyfriend:

y/n : taro are you awake? i can’t sleep :( insomnia’s kicking my ass again

you collapse back onto your pillow, throwing your phone haphazardly to your side with a groan. almost immediately, your head pops back up again at the sound of a buzz, and you blindly reach for your phone, looking at its screen.

rin <3 : yeah i am

rin <3 : give me 10 min

you weren’t entirely sure what he had meant by that; if he was busy, and would reply again in 10 minutes or if he was coming over.

you hoped it was the latter, but you'd find out soon enough. in the meantime, you moved to your living room, curled up on your couch under a heavy blanket, dimly lit by the warm light of a nearby lamp as you watched the seconds go by on your phone.

you always slept better with him, whether he was holding you in his arms or he was just simply in the room with you, it felt nice to be in his presence. just the thought of him was slowly making your eyes start to droop before the sound of the door unlocking made you perk up.

there he was, gently swinging your door open, a white plastic bag in hand. his yellow eyes fell on you as you looked him up and down, obviously judging his poor taste in clothing (sweats and a t-shirt) despite it being the middle of winter.

“hi baby,” he whispers, kicking off his shoes before immediately making a beeline towards you. you were peeking out from over the arm of your couch, and he knelt on the floor at the side of the couch, chin propped against the arm of it where you were, leaning in towards your face. there was a smile on his own as he spoke, “don’t fall asleep now, i just got here.”

you can only sigh quietly in response, happy to finally see him. “can’t help it,” you mumble, “‘was thinking of you.”

his smile only grows at your words, and he presses a chaste kiss to your forehead, letting a hand run down the side of your face, caressing it carefully. “you’re cute when you’re tired, doll,” he teases as you lean into his touch, too tired to even respond. “at least let me take care of you before you fall asleep though, yeah? i went to the store for you after all.”

“you didn’t have to buy me anything,” you whisper, reaching an arm out to him, trying to get him to join you on the couch.

he grabs your hand, rubbing a thumb lovingly over the back of it, but doesn’t let you pull him down, “of course i’ll buy you things, y/n. i love you. can i make you something to eat?”

you hum in thought, thinking about if you really want to allow him to move you, but when he tugs gently at your arm, you get up (begrudgingly) bringing your blanket with you to the kitchen.

you rest your arms on the counter you’re sitting at, lazily watching his figure move through your kitchen, pulling items out of his bag. “what’re you doing?” you eventually question, eyeing his selection of groceries with confusion. the jug of milk you can understand, but not the jar of what you assume to be jam and a nut butter.

“‘making you toast,” he answers, rummaging through your drawers for a knife, “my sister used to have trouble sleeping sometimes too, and she’d always wake me up instead of our mom so i had to figure out what helped.”

“and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are supposed to help you fall asleep?” you ask, sitting up to rest your head on your hand as you watch him pull a plate from your cupboard.

the bread he dropped into your toaster pops back up as he corrects you, “almond butter. my sister hates peanut butter, and rightfully so. almonds are better.” he continues talking as he places the toasted bread on the plate he grabbed, “i had to google what kind of foods you should eat when you can’t sleep and it’s the first suggestion i saw. the almonds have something in them that gets converted to melatonin using the carbs from the bread and jam, or something like that.”

you nod along like you really care about whatever science he’s rambling about when really, all you can pay attention to is how nice his voice is. ever since he entered your apartment, you’ve realized how much he was all you needed to sleep. you’re slowly getting more attached to him and the longer you date him, the more sure you are that you love him, too.

he slips into the seat next to you, sliding the plate of toast over to you. you mumble a small thanks, biting into the sandwich before opting to lean against him, your head resting on his shoulder while the rest of your body is wrapped in the heavy blanket you brought from your couch.

you hum in satisfaction, deciding that maybe rintarou was right about whatever science is behind the contents of this sandwich, or maybe he just needs to research the effect he has on you. you’re sure just being in his presence is sending melatonin straight to your brain–or however he said that works. “rin,” you hum, eyes closed as you remain leaning against him.

“what is it, sweetheart?” he asks. one of his arms has moved to wrap around your back, holding you close while one of his fingers grazes the skin of your arm, drawing lazy circles onto it.

“will you stay the night, too?” you ask, taking another bite of the sandwich.

he can’t help but smile, watching you snuggle up against him, scooting your chair and plate closer to him, closing the gap between you two. “of course, love, if that’s what you want,” he whispers, pressing a kiss into your hair.

you nod in response to the statement, holding up your sandwich to his mouth for him to take a bite of. “you're good at making sandwiches, but i think all i need is you to fall asleep,” you mumble tiredly and he chuckles.

“if you fall asleep here, i’ll have to carry you to your bed, you know,” he warns, but you're already drifting in and out of sleep, the plate on the table in front of you both now empty, besides a few crumbs of bread.

“that’s okay,” you try to say, fighting a losing battle against the sleep that's slowly overtaking you. “you can do it,” your last words of encouragement make his heart twist before your head lolls slightly, and he knows you’ve knocked out.

taglist: @akaakeis @wyrcan @daisy-room @eggyrocks @cheriisae @alexithemiyatic @kameyyy @iiwaijime @chaotic-neutral-ig @bakery-anon @kakeru-eem

[madi-writes-things]

Nobody Pt. 6

(C.Sturniolo X Reader)

Summary:

Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places

Word Count: 1,318

TW:MASSIVE WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!! (TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, MY WRITING IS NOT WORTH YOUR HEALTH), Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), Blood, Panic Attacks, Hurt Comfort, SUI ATTEMPT, Crying, Really Depressing, lots of POV swaps, Not Edited

A/N: Thank you for all of the support that I’ve been getting for this story, this chapter is really heavy… PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Please do not read if it will negatively impact your health, this story on tumblr is not worth it. I’ll put a brief summary at the beginning of the next chapter, for those who need to skip. This is probably the worst that it will get. Love you guys so much 🥰

-Madi <3

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

I woke up to Chris wrapped around my waist, just like I had for the last seven months. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this facade, but I also don’t know if I can let it go. The worst part is that I can’t even vent to my best friend, seeing as he is the cause of this whole situation. I stare down at Chris, his hair is so soft. I feel the burn of tears in my eyes, trying best to stop them from falling. Failing miserably.

My sniffles cause Chris’s to lift his head up to look at me. “What’s wrong?” I tell him it’s nothing, not a big deal. I can tell he doesn’t believe me, he sits up looking deep into my eyes. “You can tell me anything Y/N, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or anything.” I just cry harder. He pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me as I burrow my face into his shoulders.

we stay like that for an indeterminate amount of time. I cry until I physically can’t anymore, Chris doesn’t make me explain myself.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I barely sleep anymore.

Y/N has been drifting away for months now, and it scares the shit out of me. I’m scared that if I fall asleep she’ll sneak past me and relapse. I can’t imagine what I would do if I lost her, I don’t know who I would be.

I’m scared to leave her alone, to the point that I don’t even want to leave her to go film with my brothers. The fans have commented on how many videos we’ve made at our house, rather than our usual car videos. I just tell Matt and Nick that I feel bad leaving her alone without us.

I knew it was a mistake to leave her alone tonight, but the fans were getting suspicious. We made the decision not to tell the fans, since we didn’t plan for this charade to go on for so long. I don’t know if I can end it, I’m too in love with her to imagine laying in an empty bed again.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV (start of the really bad stuff)

The guys left to film a car video, it’s been months since they did that. I haven’t been alone long enough to think about relapsing, but sitting alone in Chris’s room, the feeling of loneliness is crushing me.

I need to distract myself. Chris would be so disappointed in me if I didn’t, and I can’t call him while he’s recording. I’ll cook myself something for dinner, the guys will be happy to eat when they get home.

“”“”“”“”“”

Dinner came and went, and I still didn’t feel better. I was scared to call Chris, I didn’t want to bother him and his brothers. It was a mistake.

I stare down, my legs tore to shreds and the wounds on my wrists, I need help. I don’t think I really want to die, I was just overwhelmed. I can’t let them find me dead. I can’t make them hurt the same way that I have. I need to call someone.

I reach for my phone, trying desperately to open it. The blood on my hands makes everything harder, but I can’t get up to get a towel. If I stand up I’ll surely pass out. I’m already lightheaded, just hoping that Chris answers my call.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I’m laughing with my brothers and I don’t notice it at first. A small buzz in my pocket. There it is again. As soon as I pull it out I panic.

LOML 🥰 CALLING… ✅ ❎

“Guys! Stop talking real quick.” I immediately press the answer button. “Baby… is everything okay?”

No response. Fuck.

“Matt we need to go home.” He gives me a worried look, but before he can say anything I’m talking into the phone again. “Baby, I need you to talk to me… tell me everything is okay.”

there’s a second before she responds, I can tell that she’s been crying based on the sniffles from her end. “I fucked up Chris.”

My heart drops.

“go faster Matt!” Fuck. “What happened, I need you to tell me what you did!” I don’t mean to yell, but I’ve never been more scared in my life.

“I don’t want to die…” No. This isn’t real. It cant be.

“You aren’t going anywhere, I promise.” I quickly turn to nick and tell him to get 911 on speed dial. “Please just keep talking to me, I need to hear your voice.”

Matt breaks multiple laws in an attempt to get home, but I don’t notice. My whole focus is on keeping Y/N talking. When we get home we all rush upstairs.

“Nick, go sit in the loft.” He looks offended when I say it. “She wouldn’t want you to see her like this, I don’t think she’d ever forgive me if I let you.” He stays where he is. “Please Nick!” My voice cracks as I say his name. He leaves with tears In his eyes.

“Matt I need you to get the first aid kit from under her bed, it should have everything I need.” With that I open the door to the bathroom.

the scene in front of me is like something straight out of a horror film. I can’t even tell where the blood is coming from. I immediately rush to her side.

“I’m so sorry… I tried to distract myself, I promise.” She’s rambling, but I don’t mind. I’m trying so hard not to cry, but she looks so pale.

“don’t apologize, I’m not mad, nobody is mad” it doesn’t stop the tears, she’s still a sobbing mess beneath me.

Matt returns with the kit, clearly distraught. “It’s okay Matt, it doesn’t look like she needs stitches.” He looks frozen in place, and his breathing is erratic. Shit. “Go sit with nick… she’s going to be okay.” After a few moments he finally pulled himself out of the doorway.

by the time I’m done cleaning her up, Y/N’s tears have dried up. “You don’t need stitches…” I stare at the deep lines that run across each wrist. “But it would make the scars smaller, do you want to go to the hospital?”

“NO!” She’s shaking her head violently. “Please don’t make me go, they’ll take me away again!” I can see the tears forming again.

“ok, we don’t have to go.” I grabs the butterfly bandages, and start pulling the skin together, before tightly wrapping it with gauze. She’s more covered in gauze wrapping than actual clothes at this point. I carry her to my room and get her changed, before taking her to the loft.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

Chris changed me, being very gentle around my gauze, and then he set me down on the loft couch next to Nick and Matt. I hear him mumble something about them staying with me while he cleans up.

I can see the relief in Nicks eyes when he sees that I’m alive, Matt just locks eyes with me and leaves. I never meant to upset him, but I can’t seem to find the tears for it right now. I fall into nicks chest and he just holds me.

I tell Nick everything. The relapse. The fake dating ruse. The fact that I really do love Chris.

He just tells me that it’s okay. He promises me that he’s not mad.

Once Chris is done cleaning the bathroom floor, he takes me to lay down in his bed. He’s so gentle when he snakes his arms around me, careful not to hit my arms or legs.

“I told Nick…” he just stares into my eyes. “You don’t have to pretend to love me anymore, there’s no point in lying anymore.”

“who said I was pretending?”

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann

[probsnothawkeye]

My birthday is tomorrow which means its time for me to share my favorite podcasts from my 24th year of life

There will be repeats from last year. Because those podcasts continued to kick ass and I'm not gonna remove them

Starting off with @doyoucopypod which ripped my heart out with its story but also made me become friends with some of my favorite people in this whole world (ily dels ily kit). Do You Copy? hurts in the best of ways and is a show everyone should listen to

@ethicstownpod continues to be on this list because of course it does it has to I love it so much it's my emotional support podcast that breaks my brain with ethical conundrums. CL Hendry is one of the most talented creators out there and I'm lucky to know them

@souloperatorpod started this year and immediately blew me away everything Tot does is fantastic but Soul Operator is especially fantastic you can see every bit of talent they've got in this show and even though it hurts me it's still on of my favorites I adore it (and Tot)

@grottopod was another addition in my 24th year and it mean the world to me. Not only is it chock full of my friends (and also me on occasion) it also is just a brilliant story with incredible music that I love. I got a tattoo about The Grotto yall knew it'd be on here

@woebegonepod fully took over my brain in the best way within the past year. Every episode is a turn I didn't expect and everything Dylan does with the show is marvelous. Getting to be in some episodes this year was an honor given how much I've fallen in love with this story

Its not a podcast post by me if I don't mention The Technomancy Project which fills me with all of the emotions. Season 2 did *so much* to me I'm so excited to see what comes from season 3 as I continue to love my technomancy trio and hope they figure themselves out

@audistorium has horrified me, made me laugh, made me cry, and introduced me to one of the most remarkable creators out there it's truly the quadruple threat of the audiodrama world. Landon Lemon Whisnant does incredible work on this show and is also just. An amazing person

Speaking of Lemon, him and the wonderful amazing incredible Maddie Girouard made @thefinderskeeperpod this year and while only 1 ep is out so far I'm already so in love with it and can't wait to hear more Landon and Maddie are two of my favorite people in this space they're amazing

@camlannpod arrived this year and tore me to shreds (positive) it is the most beautiful and hopeful post apocalyptic story I've ever experienced with a beautiful blending of fantasy/mythology everything about it oozes talent and care and I'm so happy to exist in a world with it

I caught up on the @thecellarletters mere days before this post went up and gods I'm so glad I got to add this to my list of favorite podcasts of 24 it's got mystery it's got suspense it's got a bug and a dog and excellent voice acting I'm so excited to see what comes next!

Its time for the EELS!!! @eelerschoice was a maritime horror highlight of my year it also made me cry which is the best compliment I can give i loved this story and hope to see more from it soon

@tellnotalespod has also made me cry. So much. It's a stunning show with incredible writing and voice acting and it makes me not afraid of what comes after death I love Tell No Tales with my whole heart Leanne is so kind and so talented and so lovely they deserve all the praise

@kingmakerpod will always hold a special place in my heart for it's excellent world building and incredible characters so of course they're on this list again too they had to be the show is so good I love it so much season 2 was incredible I can't wait for season 3

I got into @thesiltverses in it's final season and that a beautiful incredible and awe-inspiring show it was. Between the world building and the way it played with religion to how *real* the characters felt, it was an honor to listen this year

The Tiny Terrors 31 days of Halloween made my entire October better last year I loved hearing all of the stories and getting to hear from my beloved Shed Gang again it was definitely a highlight to being 24

I got to do so much with @thefringespod this past year all of season 2 came out while I was 24 and it's a huge accomplishment for me I love this show with my whole heart and all of the wonderful people it's allowed me to work with

And of course I'd be remiss if I didn't mention @forgedbondspod which was written, cast, and partially recorded all in my 24th year of life. I'm so excited about this show and getting to share it with yall. My cast is absolutely phenomenal and I'm so proud of this story

These are just some of my favorite shows from being 24! My to listen list grows ever longer as more and more people make incredible shows. I feel so fortunate to get to work in this space and to have spent 24 working on and listening to so many things I love

[cosmerelists]

Top 10 Reasons that Kaladin is a Cat

I already argued that all Stormlight characters are cats. But while writing that list, I kept coming up with reasons why Kaladin specifically is a cat. One might argue that he is most feline of all Stormlight characters.

Which is exactly what I am about to do. So here’s why Kaladin is DEFINITELY a cat.

1. He likes to be high.

As I pointed out in my original list, Kaladin LOVES heights--just like cats do. He’s happiest when he can be taller than everyone else, high up in the sky.

2. He’s good at climbing.

Cats are very good climbers, and so is Kaladin! There are two scenes in which Kaladin must scale an impossibly vertical wall, which he does using Stormlight. Cats use their claws, but it’s basically the same.

3. He hates to be wet.

Kaladin is NOT fan of the rain. He may be pro-storm, but he hates the Weeping, during which a continuous drizzle makes everything wet and gray and sad. Cats also do not like being wet. As you know if you’ve ever had to wash one.

4. He hates to be locked up.

Cats do not like closed doors. If you dare to cut off their divine right of passing through any doorway, they will scream their displeasure. Kaladin is also not a fan of closed doors--like when he was locked up in prison for a while and found himself very unhappy in captivity. 

5. He once tore a piece of paper to shreds just to be an asshole.

Have you ever had a cat look at you directly in the eye as it knocks something beloved off of a shelf or scratches your couch or violently attacks the Steris pin you just got from your Cosmere box (that last one might just be me)? Well, this reminds me of when Kaladin was in the slave wagon, and the slave trader guy asked him to help with directions and handed him a map, and Kaladin just tore it to shreds. Very justifiable and cat-like behavior, if you ask me.

6. He is not impressed by you.

Cats are not impressed by kings, as the saying goes. And neither is Kaladin. In Book 2 when he found himself working for the Kholins, he spent his time being DEEPLY unimpressed, especially by Adolin. It was like Adolin had a cat-bodyguard.

7. He has self-healing abilities.

Cats use their purring to self-heal: apparently it helps them. Kaladin uses Stormlight, which is less cute. If only he purred instead.

8. He pretends not to be hurt.

It is very difficult to tell if a cat is injured--they’re good at pretending that they’re not. And even before he could just wave a hand to heal himself, Kaladin also had trouble admitting when he was too hurt to move around. I’m thinking especially about the end of Book 2 when he hobbles around while everyone else is marching to the center of the Shattered Plains, all the while thinking to himself that he probably shouldn’t be moving around. But he does anyway.

9. He is very graceful and tends to land on his feet

In fact, Kaladin likes to land in a straight-up hero pose.

10. He likes to pretend he’s solitary, but he needs friends.

Cats are supposedly solitary creatures, but if you’ve ever had a cat, you know they tend to want to be around you. Maybe they’re just chilling in the windowsill across the room, but they’re still hanging out. Cats in the wild sleep in a big pile. They’re actually more social than their reputation claims. And in a similar way, Kaladin tries to give off big solitary energy, but really, he does better when he’s around his friends, even if he’s just sulking at the table while Adolin and Shallan talk. 

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Fall Drabbles, Day 10

Happy Halloween everyone!

prompt: halloween candy

pairing: Frank Castle x fem!Reader

summary: Frank has a frustrating habit of eating all of the candy meant for trick or treaters.

warnings: swearing, fluff

a/n: AHHHH I hope this is a good enough apology for my lack of writing. I updated my posting schedule and posted that, but everything has been postponed for 2 weeks so I can catch up. Thank you everyone, I hope you enjoy.

w/c: <1k

Honestly, this whole issue boiled down to you being an enabler, even if your enabling was unintentional. A couple of weeks ago, you’d started stockpiling Halloween candy. It made sense at the time; your local store was having a sale and there was no way that you’d eat through 6 bags of fun size candy in three weeks. 

Unfortunately for you and the prospective trick or treaters in your building, you had not factored in your husband nor his endless stomach. It was the 26th and you only had 3 bags left—one of which was currently opened and positioned between Frank’s legs for easy access. 

Sighing as you watched him add another metallic shred of plastic to the growing candy wrapper pile, you moved to stand in front of him and crossed your arms. Pointedly ignoring you, Frank peeked around your ass to continue watching the game on the tv. The barely visible smirk at the edge of his lips threatened to send you into a rampage. 

“Frank.” You said tersely, glaring at him. He refused to look at you, smirk no longer hidden as he tore open yet another mini Milky Way and popped it into his mouth. 

“Frank!” You growled, hands unfolding to land on your hips. Your husband, ever the asshole, opened two pieces of candy this time. 

“Francis David Castiglione!” You snapped, whipping the remote off the table and shutting the tv off. After the day you’d had, you were in no mood for his games. 

Seemingly realizing that you were serious when you pulled the full-name card, Frank turned to you with wide eyes, smirk vanishing. 

“I told you to stop eating the candy. Want to tell me why I came home to you eating from a new bag on the couch?” You raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Sweetheart, I—“ He started, but you held up a hand. 

“Don’t you ‘sweetheart’ me, Castle. I’m upset with you! I bought this candy so that we could give it out on Halloween! At the rate you’re consuming it, we won’t have a single piece this weekend,” You pouted, arms folding across your chest again as you waited for his apology. 

“My darlin’, beautiful wife,” Frank began, clearly not worried about pushing more of your buttons. “I am sorry I ate more of the candy, I didn’t realize how much it meant to ya, honey. If it’ll make you happy, I’ll go replenish our stock right now.”

Striding over to you, he held his hands out in a gesture of good will before pulling you into an embrace. Or, rather, trying to pull you into an embrace. You dodged his outstretched hands, throwing him a wicked look. “It’s the 26th, Frank. The 26th! All of the good candy will be sold out!! We’ll have to give out sixlets, or carrots or some other crap and the kids will hate us and then the word will spread and then we’ll be egged or something! And then—“ 

Interrupting you with a bellowing laugh, Frank beamed at you, unphased by your murderous stare. “Sweetheart, tell me you’re not serious.” 

“Of course I’m serious, Frank! I want the kids to like me and you’re going to ruin it!!” You groused, the small cloud of fear that you’d been carrying around this month seeping into your tone. Frank noticed the genuine emotion, eyes softening as he tilted your chin up so he could look into your eyes. 

“Hey, what’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours? Talk to me, sweets.” 

Sighing, you collapsed against his sturdy chest, letting the confession bubble out of you as he stroked his large palm over your back. “It’s our first Halloween as a married couple, Frank. We just moved into this building and we’re one of the only apartments without kids. I just…I want them to like me, to like us. I want us to fit in, to be normal for a day.” 

Frank hummed in response, processing your words before speaking. “I didn’t know it meant that much to you, honey, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry that I can’t give ya the white picket fence and the 2.5 kids—“

“Shit, no, Frank!” Pulling back to cup his cheek, you traced a finger over his jaw. “I didn’t mean it like that, handsome. I don’t want those things from you, I love you as you are! I just want us to have a good Halloween, is all. And I’d really really prefer not to be egged. That would be great.”

Huffing a laugh, your gorgeous spouse pressed a few scratchy kisses against your palm before tugging you back against his torso, guiding your hands around his waist. “I’ll buy my own candy and replace the stuff I ate. And if any of those fuckin’ kids so much as think about egging our door, I’ll beat ‘em up.” 

Chuckling fondly, you stood on your tiptoes to plant a kiss on his mouth. “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

[dominimoonbeam]

if you ever have the chance, or whenever you feel like it, id love to request a david/darlin fic, where david has to pick darlin up after a bar fight and patches them up? take as long as you need to write this, you don't even have to haha. just an idea :) thank you, and have a great timezone!!

Anon, my fire, my daydream, my love... This was so up my alley and you are wonderful for sending it my way! This was really fun to play with and your ask was so kind! I hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much! <3 <3 <3

david/darlin

tags: hurt/comfort, scars, blood, longing, not quite together but obviously leaning toward it

-

A Weird Way To Flirt

The rain pattered his truck. The storm seemed fitting. He slammed the door when he got out and stalked across the parking lot to the bar doors. One of the front windows was shattered but still in the frame. He curled his lip. He could already smell the blood and smoke.

He pushed the doors open and walked in to raised voices that quickly hushed.

A couple of department officials were standing in the middle of the room, clearly trying to break up the still flaring arguments. One side of the room was charred with a fire elemental standing there, arms tightly folded and heat still rippling off of them. Two vampires were yelling at the department officials, pointing and flashing teeth at the bar… Not at the bar, really, but at the shifter standing at the bar.

David’s shifter.

Darlin, for their part, didn’t seem to even notice the vampires anymore. They were tense, chin down but watching him through their lashes, careful not to actually make eye contact.

“Shaw,” one of the officials said with a relieved sigh and started telling him what they knew. That the fight had broken out, the vampires were saying the elemental started it, the elemental was saying that Darlin had started it, and Darlin wasn’t saying shit.

He never took his eyes off of Darlin.

They had a welt blooming on the side of their face that would probably become a bruise, the old scar in their lip had split open, and the sleeve of their jacket was shredded, blood dripping off their fingertips onto the floor.

"That dog tried to bite me!” the fire elemental shouted.

One of the vampires hissed at them. The room got warmer.

“Knock it off!” one of the officials snapped. “Or you’ll be sitting outside in the rain!” With a roll of their eyes they stepped closer to Darlin, but looked to David. “Tell this one to give us a statement so we can figure out what happened here?” They prodded, reaching out toward Darlin.

David growled low before he could stop himself. “Don’t,” he snarled. The official froze, staring at him. David shook his head. “Don’t touch them…”

The official blinked, blanching and dropping their hand. David couldn’t be sure if they thought it was a warning, as though Darlin might be the one to snap, or if they had any idea how close David had been. Either way, they stepped to the side, away from Darlin, and if possible, Darlin’s head dropped lower.

He stared at Darlin. “How’d it start?”

Their nose wrinkled, never want to be a narc… But they cut a glance toward the fire and then away. “I was at the bar when they threatened to burn the vamps. The bar fight started when they lit the drinks on fire.”

One of the vampires practically crowed at the department officials. “We told you!”

David didn’t care. He was still looking at Darlin. “Why did you stay?”

Darlin winced and shrugged. “Someone might get hurt.”

“Yeah! Me!” the fire shouted, pointing at one of the vampires. “That shit bit me!”

“And you tasted so fucking good!” the vampire shot back, the argument kicking up again.

David finally tore his eyes off of Darlin to look at the nearest official. “If you need anything else, call me.”

“We need to finish getting a statement…”

“They’re bleeding. I’m taking them home. You know where to find me.”

Darlin pushed off the bar, head still down. David led the way to the door, no one able to tell them to stop and the vampires and elemental back to shouting at each other. He got the door and held it, getting another look at Darlin has they stepped past him. They were walking okay on their own. That was good.

They took a breath and let it out on the sidewalk, standing under the awning and looking at the rain.

“Did you drive here?” David asked.

Darlin shook their head. “I walked.”

He nodded and waved an arm toward his truck. “Get in.” It wasn’t a question.

“I might get blood on your—” they started to hedge.

“Get in the damn truck.”

Darlin huffed but they marched out into the rain, toward the passenger door.

When they were inside, alone, the rain beating at the windshield, Darlin managed to sink into the seat like they could disappear.

David started the engine and turned on the heat. “How bad are you?”

“What?” Darlin exhaled, something nervous and broken in that question.

How bad are you, he’d asked. “Darlin,” he said, forcing his voice to be softer, like the smell of their blood filling his truck wasn’t making his teeth ache to defend. “How hurt are you? How bad is it?”

“Oh.” They blinked down at themself and then shrugged. “I’m fine. You can just drop me at my place.”

He huffed a hard laugh. Like that was happening. “We’re going back to my place where I can get a real look at you.”

Darlin tensed.

David cut a glance at them as he drove. “Or we can do to a clinic. Do you want—”

They shook their head, more animated now than they a had been all night. “No. I’m good.”

He bit the inside of his cheek. Fuck. They hated clinics. “How about Mary?”

They whined. “Come on… Please. I’m fine.”

“You’re bleeding.”

They wrinkled their nose and sulked.

It was a relief to see them acting like themself. “Have you eaten?”

“No.”

David nodded. “Okay.”

“You’ve got to have something better to do tonight than fuss over some bruised knuckles.”

David laughed darkly. “You’re really going to try to minimize this, troublemaker?”

“I can patch myself up.”

“I’m not sure I trust you to…”

“I’ve done it plenty!”

They were raising their voice now, in a full sulk. Good. He knew how to handle this. This was much better than scared. “You have and I still remember that time you got an infection.”

“I did not…”

“You fainted.”

“No.”

He growled. “Yes, you fucking did. You had a fever and we had to take you to a clinic.”

They growled back, quietly, and went to cross their arms only to flinch and drop one back into their lap. They pinched their face and turned their head away to glare out the window.

“Yeah…” David grumbled. “How did that happen?”

“Vampire.”

He turned a corner, windshield wipers thudding back and forth. “I thought the elemental started the fight?”

“They did! But then they almost go their throat ripped out.”

David parked and got out of the truck. They took the elevator up. The rain tracks Darlin was leaving on the floor was tinted with swirls of red. They both noticed and they both frowned, but David knew it was for very different reasons. He opened his apartment door and flicked on the lights. “Bathroom,” he said, tossing his keys into a bowl and locking the door.

Darlin nearly stomped down the hall to the bathroom.

He ditched his jacket and grabbed more towels from the closet on his way. When he got there, they were trying to unlace their boot with one hand.

David put the stack of towels down on the counter and then knelt, waving their hand away and deftly working their wet laces open.

Darlin sighed. “You don’t have to do that. I can take care of myself.”

David rolled his eyes.

“The fight wasn’t my fault!” they burst, emotion cracking their voice.

He looked up at them, just as surprised as they were.

“I was just there. I didn’t… I didn’t do anything! I couldn’t exactly leave once it started. They could have killed each other…or someone else!” The words tumbled out of them in a breathless rush.

David reached up and gently pressed his palm to the center of their chest, their back touching the wall. He nodded, holding their gaze. “I know. I know, Darlin. You didn’t do anything bad. You’re not in trouble.”

“It’s like things always go bad when I’m there, though, right? Like, of course there was a bar fight. Of course, they called you to come get me!”

He kept his hand on them, knees still on the floor and eyes on theirs. “You have a sense for bad things, Darlin, that’s all it is. You don’t run away. You know something is off and you wait to see if it really happens and when it does, you stay to help. That’s all that happens.” He waited, feeling their breath and their pulse under his hand, and watching their spirit settle in their gaze.

Finally, they exhaled and swallowed, nodding tightly. One of their hands came up to touch the back of his against their chest, squeezing it for a second before letting go.

David sighed and finished unlacing their boots. “And you’re not the only one I get calls about. Asher’s been in a dozen altercations both with empowered and unempowered groups getting into trouble that he couldn’t just ignore and Milo practically midnights as a vigilante with Stealth.” He stood and gently peeled their ruined jacket off of them.

Their upper arm had two long cuts. After cleaning it up, he decided it wasn’t deep enough to need a healer or stitches. He wrapped it and then gently moved his thumbs down their arm, making sure nothing was broken and watching them for a flinch. They stared back at him almost smugly. He brushed his thumb across their knuckles and their expression jumped, lip curling.

He checked their other arm, those knuckles even worse, but nothing broken. “Shirt.”

Darlin stared back at him. “What about it?” they asked, biting back a smirk.

David met their gaze, realizing how close their face was to his. “Take it off.”

Darlin’s heart beat a little faster and that little smile almost broke free. “Weird way to flirt with me…”

“Getting you to strip down so that I can make sure you’re not broken or cut up seems about the only way to flirt with you…”

Darlin’s smirk faltered, heart pounding.

David waited.

Darlin swallowed and looked away, peeling their shirt off.

“Does anything hurt?” he asked, looking them over. They had red splotches on one side that he was sure would turn into bruises like the side of their face. He passed his hands gently over the area, feeling their ribs.

“No. The arm was really the worst of it,” they said, almost a mumble now that he’d made that flirting comment.

David nodded, finally able to feel relieved. “Okay. I’ll grab you some clean clothes, ditch that mess and clean up.” He turned and started down the hall to his room.

The shower turned on in the bathroom seconds later, the door still open.

Shifters had never been overly shy with each other. It was pack and they’d all seen everything. Still, the idea of Darlin naked in his place when it was just the two of them was definitely distracting. He tried not to think about it. He stripped down, tossing his wet clothes into the hamper and pulling on soft sweats and a clean t-shirt, pulling them out a few pieces of his clothes too.

The bathroom was slowly steaming up when he came back to it, Darlin’s clothes in a pile wedged tight into the corner. He put down the new items and picked up their old, adding them to the hamper and making his way to the kitchen. He had left over lasagna and set about heating it up.

Darlin was fast. He knew they would be, but he still wasn’t entirely prepared to see them in his clothes. He liked that a little too much.

Darlin held a hand towel to their lip. The split must have started bleeding again when they scrubbed the dried blood off their face. He waved them closer, gently taking the towel from their hand to get a look at the cut. It was a scar that reopened. It happened often enough that the pack had stopped freaking out when it did. Looking closely, he could see the faint scars around it from other cuts. This was just the deepest. David touched their jaw, brushing his thumb under that lip. They went still, staring back at him, holding their breath. He pulled at his core and tried to focus that magic into the cut. It was small but painful. Healing didn’t come naturally to him but he’d been practicing.

Darlin twitched when the wound closed. Their hand came up, dabbing at it and coming away clean. “Shit… When did you learn that?”

He shrugged, tossing the towel away and going back to preparing their food. His stomach felt suddenly very empty.

“Thanks,” Darlin said quietly, looking around the apartment. “Thanks for everything…I’ll get out of your hair.”

“You should eat first,” he said. “And that storm is getting worse. Unless you need to be someplace, you can hang out here.”

Darlin was quiet long enough that David looked back to see them watching him. “I don’t want to bother you.”

David huffed. “Since when? And you staying over has never been a problem.” He went to the freezer and pulled out a bag of frozen greens, holding them out to Darlin. “Here, put this on your face while I get dinner together. You can pick out something to watch.”

Darlin took the bag, fingers brushing his, that curious smile slowly pulling at their mouth again. “You might regret letting me pick the movie…”

David smiled back. “I don’t doubt that,” he grumped and then added, as if to himself, “But as long as you’re staying, I’ll put up with it.”

[mikonawa]

Chasing the Sun ☄️

Baldur's Gate 3 Fanfiction Series

Pairing: Astarion x Tiefling!Reader Tav

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Important Notes: YOU the READER will be referred to as TAV for ease of reading (and writing). Tav was the Dark Urge until they rejected Bhaal. Astarion and Tav are already an established couple. This will be set after the events of Baldur's Gate 3.

Warnings: There will be mentions/discussions of sexual abuse, trauma, violence, blood, lots of blood and gore. There will be nudity but no sexual content. Will update as needed.

Author's Notes! &lt;3: This is a fanfic about Astarion and Tav healing together while on an adventure to chase their dreams - to live under the sun without worries. Both are just traumatized babies that lean on each other for love and support. I'm also using this fiction to practice writing so please bear with me for any errors. I'm a lil nervous posting this.

Word Count: 3,690

CHAPTER ONE

Kneeling before the unmoved body, Tav’s fingers tangoed through the sliced open stomach of her victim. As she pulled her fingers out, blood oozed down. Punching her nails back into the victim, she continued her work. The squishy sounds of her gore-y work was a melody to her ears. The blood slithered between her fingers as she tore her victim’s intestines to shreds.  Pulling her hands out again, a rather cruel smile formed on her face. The blood was thick like a glove on her hands. With her bloody hand, she wiped away the beads of sweat on her forehead. The blood on her skin felt refreshing, cleansing - more welcoming than a soapy bath. 

Messy, Orin would tell her, with each of her victims. Never elegant.

This was more fun for Tav. It felt like art, as she tore their warm insides apart and rearranged them into a bloody, shredded mess. Each of her victims were just a blank canvas that needed to be painted with beautiful, crimson paint. 

Her eyes looked over to the face of her victim, but there was none. There was less guilt involved if she couldn’t see the face of the person she was killing in the name of her father. The face was always the first to go. Clawed off with her unruly nails. The cries as they lost their identity always felt like a beautiful song to Tav. Soon after, they would fall silent as she continued her work, her art. 

In the name of Bhaal.

Tav stood up, her senses slowly coming back to her. A rumbling hunger was sated. It was as if she was chained to Bhaal and those chains snapped, freeing her of His will. Tav’s bloody hands felt lighter. Her heart raced as she noticed the victim below her. Beating faster, and faster by the second as her eyes took in the art- no, the goresome mess. What has she done? What will Astarion think? There was so much blood. On her clothes, on her hands. Red was the only color she could see in the cold darkness. 

“Oh, no no no.” Tav cried out. Through her sorrows, she let out a pitiful scream. 

Quickly, she turned away from her victim and ran, carrying herself through the darkness of her surroundings. Where was she? There were no buildings, no trees, nothing but  the bitter cold darkness.  If she looked back, what would she find? Tav didn’t want to find out the answer to that, keeping her head forward.

Astarion? Where was he?

As she ran through the darkness, her vision began to blur with tears. When she wiped them away, she painted her skin with the blood of her victim. A burning sensation ran through her legs, begging her to stop, to rest. Tav refused, she needed to keep running. To find Astarion and beg for forgiveness for letting the Urge take over.  

The Urge was supposed to be gone, her head hers and free of Bhaal’s call. 

“You’ll never be free, my child,” A familiar, dark voice echoed around her.

Collapsing onto her knees, Tav inhaled before screaming, “Let me go!” Sobs broke through each of her words. A sorry breath caught itself in her throat, leading her to hoarsely cough.  Her fists slammed the dark ground before her. In reaction, it eloped around her wrists, like binds, holding her to her place. 

In front of her, a worn, leather book appeared. Carefully, it opened itself, presenting itself as a book of all her victims. The pages moved on their own, names written in red flashing by. Grabbing a quick glimpse of each page, the only thing Tav could see was the fact the ink was wet in red ink. Another thing she had noticed was how the letters were large, written boldly like 

A crown of blood formed over her head. Red began to pour around her, slowly filling her surroundings. It dripped, and dripped, until it was all she could see. A strong iron taste slipped into her mouth. Warm blood touched her smooth skin, layering on top of the blood of her victim. Forced to bathe in the unknown blood, a feeling most would find disgusting but Tav found comforting. The fact she found this comforting disgusted the tiefling. 

“You disowned me, left me for dead. What do you want?” Tav screamed out. As she screamed, more blood filled her mouth before she turned her head away, spitting out the blood then coughing. Tears rolled down her face, mixing with the blood on her face. 

Her cry was met with silence. 

But Bhaal would never let her forget.

Darting up on her bed, Tav took several quick and heavy breaths.  Shaky hands clasped onto her blanket, her nails nearly tearing through the worn fabric. Tav’s body felt warm with sweat, leaving her top sticky to her back. Her eyes caught sight of the familiar things on the walls - the colorful paintings that brought life to their dull home in the Underdark. It reminded Astarion of the world with sunlight. Astarion was the one who wanted to have them here. He had his reasons, one being Cazador’s home was boring with all the dark, mysterious paintings, and the other was to remind him of what they were fighting to see again one day. 

“I’m okay,” Tav whispered. 

 It was all just a dream. A terrible dream. Even if she was Faithless, she still thanked the Gods. Although her time as Bhaal’s chosen, his spawn, was over, he still haunted her.  For years, she carried out his will, killing people and even finding pleasure in it. Before the twist of the knife and the cry her victims would let out would bring a warm rush through her body. Nowadays Tav couldn’t even hurt a rat, unless it was in the case of self defense.  Withers had promised to one day tell her the names of all her victims, an offer Tav would one day take up. However, it was difficult when nearly each night she dealt with nightmares and reminders of her old work. A time when she found murder to be a work of art. 

Instead of creating art with the dead bodies of her victims, Tav turned to drawing in a sketchbook, one she picked up before leaving the city. It was a way for her to work out her nightmares and traumas. To hopefully one day understand and forgive herself. Guilt still wrecked her body, even after many told her saving the city was enough. Grabbing her sketchbook on her nightstand, she took the pencil and began to draw out her newest nightmare: a crown of blood that hovered over her  head as the red dripped over her body. Her hand was shaky as she drew. Some lines were soft, and others dug deep into the page. When she erased it, the page held onto the burdens of the darker lines. 

Then the tip of her pencil broke. The graphite splintered into multiple pieces across the paper. Little specks of dust of the graphite  settled around. 

Great.

Tav took this as a sign to stop. This was the worst nightmare she had in a while. Yesterday she had dreamed of a picnic under the sun with Astarion. When it felt like her nightmares were finally gone, they crept up again. Sneakier than a rogue itself. 

Tav turned her attention to the opposite side of the bed, the cold body of Astarion absent. His blanket left messy at the end of the bed and his pillow left in the same position as when he would sleep. An indent of where his head would rest pressed into the feather pillow.  Before she panicked, Tav took a deep breath with her eyes pressed closed. She had to remind herself that often Astarion would abruptly leave, needing to go hunt. Sometimes his hunger would take over, and similar to her former Urge, he would have to leave immediately to sate it.  Although she always welcomed Astarion to feed off of her, Astarion needed more than just her from time to time. Her blood, when it filled his maw, was his favorite. Warm and full of delicious flavor. It reminded him that with her, he was safe. She was his home. But the last thing he wanted to do was risk draining her body and killing her. 

Grabbing Astarion’s pillow, she noted the strands of curly, white hair plucked in the silk case.  Hugging it close to her body, she could smell a mix of his perfume - the aged brandy rather stronger than usual - and subtle decay he tries to mask. With him gone, the pillow was the closest thing she could get to holding him close to her body. Even if the subtle hint of decay made her want to turn her nose. 

The front door soon swung open, then clicked close with a gentle nudge with Astarion’s foot. Tossing the pillow to the side, Tav eagerly crawled out of the bed. Astarion was home. Holding the real thing was ten times better than a pillow. To say he was her safety would be wrong, but not untrue. The right way to put it would be that they were each other’s safety. Not one or the other, but rather they completed each other.  

"There's my darling! I brought home a Hook Horror egg-" Astarion was prepared to tell a story to Tav before fully recognizing the state she was in. The egg was placed on the top of the counter. Biting the bottom of his lip, Astarion then said, "You look rather… hmm, how do I put it?"

"Disgusting?" Tav stated.  

"I wasn't gonna say it." Astarion shrugged.

Wordlessly, Tav swung her arms around Astarion, hugging him close to her body. A feat years ago she wouldn't have been able to do. Astarion froze for a second before relaxing, his arms keeping her close to his body. 

"Oh sweetheart, what's wrong? Who do I have to kill? Is it Lysander? Bastard doesn't know how to keep his fangs to himself," Astarion rolled his red eyes. Some of the vampires he saved from Cazador's ritual still had a lot of learning to do. Sure, Astarion was supposed to be one of their leaders that guided them, but there were undoubtedly times he wanted to just get rid of the unruly ones. The amount of times he had to tell him that Tav was his, and his alone, to feed on - he had lost count at this point.

"Haven't seen any of the vampires today, no. Just had a really awful nightmare about Bhaal." Tav told him. 

Her face buried itself in his white top. The coldness of his body on her warm cheeks comforted her. Her tail swayed, like a dog's would, with content. This was all she needed. Astarion patted the top of her head then allowed his fingers to brush through her hair, working through the knots. 

After the two began to live with each other, Tav slowly started to show a more vulnerable side to Astarion. Memories of her time as one of the Bhaalspawn, prior to the Illithid kidnapping, were coming back to her piece by piece. He was so used to Tav putting on a face and staying strong that the first time she cried with her head in his lap, he was left speechless. Afraid of making the wrong move, all he could think of doing was run his fingers through her hair. For once, he could be the one there for her, after all the times she was there for him. 

They were both just two broken souls that needed healing. And together they would heal. 

"Sit down, darling," Astarion instructed. "I’ve brought home this Hook Horror egg just for you Plucked it right out of their nest after draining the mother of her blood! How does breakfast sound?" As he spoke, he made a plucking motion with his hand. 

"Breakfast sounds good." Tav pulled out one of the wooden chairs. 

"Good. Now let's hope I don't fuck this up," Astarion laughed. Cracking open the egg on the edge of the pan, a rather large yolk spilled into it. A tiny piece of the egg shell snuck through into the pan, mixing in with the egg whites. With a bit of fire magic, he was able to start cooking.

It was not often where Astarion would cook. However during their few trips to the libraries, he had picked up multiple cookbooks. It wasn't like he needed to eat actual food. Blood was more than enough for him.  Everytime he ate actual mortal food, his stomach would turn and the remainder of the day would be miserable. However Tav still needed actual food for her body. And how else to show his appreciation for her? Food seemed like the right way. There may have been a time or two he served her something raw. Or burnt. Or whatever it may be that left it inedible. Tav still loved his every attempt. 

While the fire churned the eggs, Astarion shared his morning adventures. His hunt for the Hook Horror. Although it wasn't his ideal meal in the Underdark, it was the first thing he had found. Prowling through the dark, the Hook Horror failed to pick up the vampire stalking it all the way to its nest. Cuddled deep within laid only a single egg, leaving the Hook Horror protective. It could not afford to lose its only young that season.  He had to make quick work of the Hook Horror, knowing that if it made its piercing cry, others would come to its aid. As Astarion told his story, Tav felt better. Hearing his voice lulled her back to reality. 

And worry. Lots of worry from his story. 

Even though he was here in front of her in one piece, she couldn't help the worry that washed over her body when he spoke of his fight. 

Once breakfast was served, silence filled the room besides the sound of pages being turned in the book Astarion read and the silverware that clicked against the ceramic plate. While Tav ate, her eyes were locked on Astarion. There was always some sort of joy in just watching him do mundane things. A smile curled onto her face as she took another spoonful of eggs into her mouth. They were cooked almost perfectly. Not too dry, just enough moisture in them to make them melt in her mouth. One bite may have had a weird crunch, but she shrugged it off. Perhaps a touch too much pepper was mixed in but Tav continued to clean her plate. . 

The shared silence was soon interrupted by the sound of a familiar whimper and claws dragging down the front of the wooden door. The spoon that played between Tav's fingers between bites clattered against the plate. There were only a few bites left but whoever was at the door was deemed more important. Wood scratched across the stone floor of the kitchen as Tav pushed the chair away from the table. 

"Scratch, buddy! Is that you?" Tav swung open the door with excitement. Greeting her with a wagging tail, Scratch dropped a letter at Tav's feet. 

Lifting the letter off the floor, she turned around and placed it on the table. Her attention focused back on Scratch. First, by performing a bit of magic and casting Speak with Animals on herself. Astarion had placed shut his book, his eyes peering over to watch the two. It wasn't often Scratch came by - most of the time to deliver letters from their old friends within the city. Karlach loved sending Tav letters, speaking of all the things she now gets to experience. Jaheira would send one on the occasion, to check up on the two. And an old friend, the Emperor, would often have a correspondence sent out as well. As much as Tav would have loved to keep Scratch, it was determined he would have done best to stay with Jaheira. With the druid, he had a chance to have a comfortable home within the city but also play with children who undoubtedly spoiled him. Still, he was able to visit with his delivery duties. 

"Hey buddy, how are you doing?" Tav kneeled down, immediately scratching behind the white canine's ear. His favorite spot, she remembered.

With a lifted paw and a fast wagging tail, Scratch leaned into the scratches. "I'm doing wonderful now that I get to see you again, Miss Tav! Oh, yes that's the perfect spot. Jaheira wanted me to bring you that letter! She said it was important."  

Pulling away from Scratch, she turned her attention to the letter. Scratch wandered into the house, finding a comfortable place by the empty fireplace. While used to long adventures, his paws still felt sore. His body had adjusted to a more relaxed lifestyle instead. Coldness from the stone floorings washed over his warm body; a welcomed sensation. “Mmm, wake me up whenever it’s time to leave,” Scratch yawned. 

"Well, what do we have here?" Astarion's interest piqued by the letter on the table.

Tearing it open, Tav unfolded the letter within. Her eyes scanned each sentence as she took in the information. Her eyes grew wide with hope as she got closer to the end. Biting the bottom of her lip, she fought against the smile that grew before letting out a little laugh. 

"Well darling? What is it? Clearly it's good news." Astarion probed, reaching out to the letter.

Folding the letter closed, she held it out to Astarion, "Jaheira has a lead, Astarion, for you." 

Taking the letter, Astarion raised an eyebrow and asked, "A lead?"

Then it hit him. Years ago after saving the city, together they searched and explored every library they could. Well, the ones that still stood after the Illithid invasion. None held the information he wanted within. He even took the risk of going through Cazador's old estate, searching through all the books there.  After failing to find any information for a way to let Astarion be out in the sun again, the couple soon retired in the Underdark where they agreed to assist Astarion's siblings with the other vampire spawn. The house they now lived in, the two of them built together in a cozy part of the Underdark, not too far from where the vampire spawn set up their settlement. 

“A lead,” he hummed, “That’s… That’s marvelous!” He threw his hands up in the air. Laughing, he pulled Tav into a tight hug. Tav pressed her nose against his with a giggle, before looking deep into his red eyes. She read something else within them - fear.

Fear of being led to another dead end. That his hopes were being brought up for nothing and this would be another adventure with no results. 

“You don’t need to come along,” Tav whispered to Astarion, “I know you don’t want to get your hopes up.”

“Huh? Oh- oh darling, don’t you worry! I’m looking forward to this adventure of ours,” Astarion said, rather fast. “It’s been a while since we both left the Underdark. It’ll be fun! On the road together again. Of course, we’d only be able to travel at night for my safety.”

“Astarion.” Tav said, her voice firm. Her fingers laced between his, bringing the back of his hand to her lips. 

“Can’t I ever hide anything from you?” Astarion swiftly pulled away, pacing back and forth in their small kitchen. Giving up, he sat down on the wooden chair. Throwing his head back, he let out a groan. “No, I can’t. You read me too well, darling. Sometimes I can’t tell if I love that about you or hate that. Ugh.”  His words spat out as he moved his hands in dramatic motions. 

Silence lingered between them. It wasn’t that there was any tension between them, but both were left unsure of what to say next. Swallowing a breath, Tav was about to speak up first however, Astarion beat her to it.

“I greatly appreciate the concern you have for me. Perhaps this may only lead to more heartbreak in knowing I’ll never see the sun again but,” His eyes focused on hers, his lips curling into a smile, “But maybe there will be a way, and I want to be there with you when you discover the greatest gift you could ever give me.”

“Okay,” Tav said. “Okay. Then we go together. With Scratch too, we gotta bring the good boy home.”

Astarion almost forgot the canine was here. In front of the quiet fireplace, Scratch was snoring away with happy dreams of running through green fields and munching on delicious meat. Well, at least he won’t bother them too much, but Astarion truthfully was looking forward to their duo adventure to Baldur’s Gate. If they’re lucky, they would have a duo adventure back home, basking underneath the color brought in by the warm sun. 

There was much to do before they could leave, having to prepare supplies for the journey ahead. Outside the walls of their home, Astarion would also have to inform his siblings of their departure. If they are lucky, they could depart by tomorrow’s night. Tav was already preparing their backpacks- stocking it with the essentials for any adventure - a bedroll for each, ropes, Astarion’s lock picking set and rations. She poked through the drawers in their house to find anything else that may shine as a necessary item to take. Some of them held old, unused magical scrolls - they may be useful. In one of them she found a pouch stocked with gold pieces. Another item added to the backpack. 

“Hey Tav?” Astarion interrupted her. 

“Yes, love?” Tav turned her head to Astarion, her head tilted. Her fingers were grasping the door to their closet, where their old adventuring gear stayed dormant. 

“I love you.”

[noowayybroo]

"Unfair" Part 3?

BECAUSE EEK SOMEONE LIKED MY STUFF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (ahem ahem, sorry, I continue now.)

Same as always good stranger please tell me what you like / don't like :) This is for you (all) after all!!!!!

Characters: Albert Wesker + Reader

Warnings: NSFW?? (there's no seggs but like you do kinda get pretty washed away here mentally so I think uhh Minors DEFINITLEY DNI?!?!?) , Wesker absolutely hypnotises + Brainwashes you, Gender Neutral, Dub con?? Forced -> Happy about it (Manipulation ig) VERY slowburn :/ I write too much. Wesker is a LOT softer cuz I don't like meanies, I'M NEW TO RE so idek when this is set. Petnames, some teasing:<

Your captain-turned-captor was all too pleased at how malleable and docile you'd seemed to become. So much so that he trusted you enough to reach out and place his hands on your shoulders. From there, with some thought and a focused tongue swipe of his bottom lip, he was able to lead you to adjust yourself until you were sitting comfortably before him, at which point he joined you. There he was, cross legged on the ground with his hands at his lap, rummaging through his own mind as he gazed blankly at you once more. And there you were opposite him. You stared back, lips twinging, faltering as you tried to hang onto your thoughts.

Behind your sad eyes, you begged them silently to keep fighting. You needed them to keep kicking and to keep screaming before being dragged away into the darkness. You could almost see them disappear into the abyss around you, leaving you alone, unguarded as Albert's charm did a formidably good job at swallowing you whole. You hated him for this… You hated yourself more so. It's worse than death, you tried to tell yourself, I'm a soldier. I'm a hero. I'd rather die! You chant the last three words again and again in your head, becoming more upset, you're fighting back.

..Or at least - you're trying to.

Your fists clench, a fearful temper rises within you and you feel yourself shaking with rage as tears stream down your reddened face. Albert, well, he seems surprised as he watches you with raised brows. He knows he's going to have to put a swift end to this little rebellion before you boil over. Suddenly, his hot breath is on your nose as he leans in, pushing his face to be mere inches from yours. Instinctively ducking away, your head hits the wall behind you and you let out a pained hiss of the breath that neither of you knew you'd been holding in. You're caged in by his pulsating eyes alone, helpless to do anything but stare and worry. You remain like that for a while, each just analysing each other.

What will he do to you? Was he mad at your anger, furious at your challenging demeanour? Your thoughts stewed and bubbled now. Now, you were worried. He watched you. He contemplated you. His eyes were practically tasting you. He was being so thoughtful and so composed, and that surely couldn't be good for you. He shifts a little before his hands slowly rise towards your face. You fear they'd grasp at your neck until you feel them gently come to either of your cheeks, cradling your face almost tenderly. "You poor... poor thing.", he whispers, "I know you're scared in there. I know you're absolutely petrified." Was he mocking you or simply observing you? Thinking aloud? His voice dripped into your ears like a sickly, forbidden honey, quickly working at mingling with your very thoughts. "Tell me, Y/N, am I correct?"

You tense at his words, but before you can even worry about what you're about to disclose, your mouth opens ever-so-slightly-enough for you tell him everything he wants to hear. "I - I am... I am scared. I'm scared of you, Albert. I- I don't want to die." There it was, you'd admitted your shame, just as if it were his very right to hear it. It was what tore you to shreds with self hatred. You weren't a hero, you weren't a soldier, you were just you, a human who feared death. You were weak-willed, of a pliable mind, and a growing part of you wanted to trade your willpower for the chance to survive. Dread clawed at your insides as a small smile reappeared on Wesker's face.

"I understand.", he muses. "And I know you're a clever little thing. I don't have to threaten you for you to know I already have your life in the palms of my hands...", his voice trails off as thin, spasming tendrils appear from each sleeve of his jacket, trailing up his wrists and finding their way to your neck. Your breath hitches, feeling the clammy vines engulf your throat oh-so-slowly, and even-more-so threateningly, "...But it is just so fun." some of his tentacles stroke at your face and jaw, just as tenderly and observingly as the rest of his manner, and you found it hard to not be reassured in a way, just at the thought of being held during your moment of fatal vulnerability. You feel yourself slip lower; he doesn't even need to speak for you to become more docile, more willing. He grins, satisfied, leaning back as one hand remains to keep a more rough hold on your chin now. His captivating glare prevents your eyes from closing fully in response to your newfound pain.

"So I thought I'd strike a deal with you." He grins mischievously, "And for your sake, my beloved colleague, I've decided to count you in automatically, to save you the embarrassment, you know..." He trails off before fitting you with an ice cold stare, his words run agonisingly slowly from his tensed jaw, "The deal is... You keep your life!"

There's a pause. And that pause is going on far, far too long-

"...But I keep you." Your heart sinks, you'd known this was coming, but at least now if you played along you could certainly avoid death, for a while. Your eyes scan his face, desperate for any signs of deception, but any traits seem to remain unfound. Meanwhile, he seems irritated, almost confused about why you haven't piped up in immediate acceptance or refusal of his offer "You want this, don't you? You know you do! Go on! Tell me you-", You're about to heed his command, leaning forwards, ready to plead for your life before he snaps angrily, glaring away as if it's himself he's mad at "-No. I told you you didn't have to tell me. I've decided for you. I've decided that you're going to be mine..." It drove you crazy with curiosity to see the 'Great Albert Wesker' at such a war with himself, but you felt surely that there wasn't much prospect of escape in sight, so you nod slowly and look at him, ready.

He sighs, hand dropping from your chin. A crooked grin blooms on his thin face as he draws you in once more. Practically kneeling, looming above you now, he peers down at your entranced, shaking form. You're drawn helplessly towards him and his shifted, darkened demeanour once more. You had submitted so easily to him, Wesker thought as he made sure to keep his hypnotic focus upon you, of course you did - he was a powerful God, he was your Master, it was your fate. But there you were, so strong, so powerfully willed. Corrupting you felt so sinful, so wrong... He felt as though it shouldn't be so easy. At war with himself again: why was it that you had this power over him? You looked so delicious to him, want burning within him, but he felt so reluctant. You were so fragile, so beautiful, a rose with the sharpest, toughest and most ensnaring thorns. Did he dare pluck you?

"Breathe deeply for me, Y/N", words rung into eager ears, quickly becoming your command. Just as instructed, you followed his gentle purrs of 'in's and 'out's as you felt your mind slow, eyelids heavy, occasionally blinking. Each time your eyes reopened, they gazed back at him again, almost lovingly. He was so calming, so sweet. He was so caring. You'd never seen this side to him before, was it because of you? Did you do this to him? "Just relax... Breathe deeply. Listen to my voice and let it guide you. It'll be easier for the both of us...", he spits his next two words like venom. Delicious venom, "I promise."

-He did dare.

"W-Wesker, please-"

"Shhhhh", he silences you with a gentle finger to your lips. "Listen to me... You want this, you know you do." Drawn to his gaze, all you can do is gawk, wide-mouthed. His newly tender façade has your head lulling to one side, dreamily observing him. "I'll let you speak... I'll let you move, but I want you to be mine first, Okay?" You're unable to answer before a new wave of commands laps against your mind; waves on a shore. "I am your commander, I am your superior. I am above you, you... are below me. You... You are mine." You have no time to worry, to hate him even, although you are still very much capable of doing both. All you seem to want to do is listen to him and to absorb his words. They're your new reality, they're what you need. And hell, he's right. He's been above you since you joined, giving you orders, so what's changed?

"That's right... You understand, don't you? You clever, brilliant little thing.", Wesker hums, pleased as you feel your body sink further, further becoming limp, no longer able to care about your posture as you slouch against the wall behind you, the cold tile sending a prickling sensation through you. It wasn't as noticeable as the effect his candied words had on you, though. Was he... praising you? He thought you were intelligent? He thought you were wonderful? Why? You must have been thinking pretty hard. He tuts, glancing at your interlocked brows as he comes to place a hand on your temple, pouting at you. "Poor thing... What are we worrying about now?" his luscious tease tears you from your thoughts again and he smiles, satisfied, before continuing. "You're going to do as I say, when. I. say. it. You'll be so happy, too. You will absolutely love-," His hands and Uroboros punctuate, tightening their grip instinctively on your head and throat, "...bending to my will... Pleasure, it'll give you nothing but pleasure..."

In your more conscience moments, you tried to resist, tried speaking over him in your mind. You tried to close your eyes, to block him out, but ended up doing no more than squinting as if in fear. Nothing could prepare you for what was coming next though, as promised, he would break you.

His snarling, deep voice ordered you next to nod for him, and upon helplessly doing so, you felt your body shiver with joy. It seemed to trickle in a little at first, almost as though meditating below a small, warm waterfall, feeling tranquil as nature washed over you. Then he asked you to lift your left arm, like a dog giving a paw, and mindlessly, you obeyed once more. The trickling stream quickly became a rushing downpour of pleasure. You found yourself tingling, twitching, a small smile glued to your lips. He was training you like an animal, and the reward each time slowly coaxed you into doing more and more for him each time. He then asked you to do more for him, delighting in your obedience, please at how he'd eradicated your stubborn defiance. He made you kneel, He made you lay, he even made you desperately try to grab at his pen as he waved it above your head, taunting you.

Eventually you were both standing. Confusion hit you, no commands were coming, only his cold yet fulfilled surveying. You watched him for a while as he glanced up and down at you, a smirk on his face.

"I am going to have so, so much fun with you."

tbh with you this fic is based on some uh experiment I did with character.ai but it kept going in circles so it never got anywhere and was quite boring, but the AI surprised me when wesker got really gentle and started falling for you and treating you like a pet so I thought it was so CUTE so don't be surprised if how this one goes please hehehehahwhwahwa. ALSO he won't be that rough tho cuz yanno I like sweet men so he isn't gonna switch and kill u or make you do anything bad (morally) he just wants to have some fun with you ig :/

what is this bro I'm sorry it's going so slowly :sob: if you could like message me and tell me what you don't like / what you want that would be so good idk what to do next I am dead.

ALSO I really want him to call reader "good girl" / "Good boy" but like... how do I get around that whilst keeping this for everyone? good pet is good but it brings the fic into kinda weird territory for some and I don't think it has the same vibe as "girl / boy" but ALSO I really like the sound of him calling you "little thing" I think it's so cute / hot :tired: ok bye thanks for reading this shit ily

[dr-demi-bee]

what's your favourite scene you've written in a fic?

Thanks for asking, friend!! 💜 This is honestly really hard to answer, there's so many options and it depends on my mood lol I think maybe the scene I most enjoyed writing recently was the end of Chapter 3 in Service and Worship. I really enjoy taking pieces of canon and tweaking them *just* a bit to flesh out Miri's place in the world. And I enjoyed playing around with stream of consciousness and altered mental state via the POV.

[Context: Tadpals (Gale, Astarion, Wyll & Miri) are in the blighted village. Miri is bloodless from feeding Astarion the night before. Miri's POV (still 'Tav' at this point). For more context you'll just have to read the rest ;) ]

They had walked right into an ambush. She did not notice the archers until Gale had stepped out into the open. The goblins at the front of town made no move to fight before, and Gale had wanted to do things peacefully.

Clearly the goblins did not share the same sentiment. They have been volleying blows back and forth for twenty minutes too many. She and Astarion had nearly managed the goblins on the ground, but the handful on the rooves were proving a challenge.

She sees a goblin loose their arrow, spiraling through the air straight toward Gale's unprotected side. He is already hurt and bleeding - no armor to defend - another strike will take him down entirely.

“Gale, down!” Tav's feet push off the dirt in a rush, and her shoulder collides with Gale's hip. He shouts, but the push is just right - it sends him stumbling into the protection of the building beside them. Astarion is there, and catches the wizard by the shoulders.

But the arrow still strikes flesh. It pierces just above her left hip, left exposed in her dive, and grinds through to the bone. A hiss shakes from her teeth as she stumbles to one knee.

Dammit, she should have been fast enough to get them both free of the arc.

Another arrow whistles in and shreds straight through her shoulder. Nine hells but that hurt - Tav looks down to see the arrow protruding through her leathers. The head on this one had been barbed, serrated - and tore a jagged hold through her muscle right below the collarbone.

She cannot seem to catch her breath, and coughs roughly around a groan. Tav rips the arrow in her shoulder out roughly. Her vision swims. Not enough blood.

The ground rushes up to meet her, and a cry leaves her lips as she collides with the dirt and the wounds are jarred roughly. Behind her Wyll swears in anger and she hears the crackle of spell work.

Gale shouts at her, his voice laced with a desperate frustration.

“Now's no time to die. Tav, you must get up!”

Shit. Don't call me like that. She felt it stir in her gut. Felt her heart throb in response. Weak like this, that command - like this it may be just enough...

The sounds around her swirl and distort. Is he still yelling? She can hear her heart thumping - that little voice is howling.

But mostly she can hear Gale's voice. Or is it just in her head?

Tav... Get up...

The sound feels like that yank of her chain and the collar biting into her throat.

She can taste that toxin on the back of her tongue with each drag of her breath. That tongue of madness they had forced down her throat day after day.

Get up... Get up....

Tav could hear the howling growing louder. The pain of her hip falls away to a dull throb, her shoulder grows numb. Her body starts to move, responding to Gale's urging.

She gets up to her hands and knees. Red flooding into her vision. Is that her blood?

Those red tendrils she fought so hard against are curling around her mind - racing through her veins with each pounding throb of her heart.

Get up... Get up!

The control slips just a little.

She could feel her chest rumbling with a growl, but could not even feel it tear through her throat.

You must get up!

A deep steadying breath and she rose fully to her feet. Another arrow strikes true in her thigh. But she does not feel it. No, it did not matter at all.

No blood of hers matters.

Now's no time to die.

Tinged with red at the edges, here on the surface her vision is clearer than it has ever been. Her hearing sharp - each heart beat pulsing around her is a distinct rhythm. Three goblins on the roof across and two in the street, three ogres in the left building, a bugbear around the corner. The rest at the windmill - and something small and scared whirling through the air.

The fear of her own pack is pounding a steady drum beat. Protect. Mine.

Time is slowed - that dragging lurch where everything but her feels in slow motion.

She raises her bloodied blade, half coated by her own wounds, breathing harshly through her mouth, and points the tip at the goblins on the roof above. They who would mean to strike what is hers.

They will be first.

“Di'nan athlan, fen'ghilan,” Tav seethes, and her voice is half a growl.

The goblins screech something back. Gibberish, unintelligible vitriol.

If they attempt to ambush innocent travelers and tie a man to a windmill, they are worthless. They mean to harm hers. Their lives are forfeit.

Tav leaps up the ladder in a few short bounds. For the next 45 seconds all she sees is red. The closest vermin have no chance to react. The blood dripping from her blades is as sweet as the symphony of their screams. They are blessed she cannot tear with teeth and claw.

Before she gets down from the roof she looses a volley of arrows tinged with magic toward the windmill - a hail of thorns that strike her enemies down into the dirt.

When she jumps back down from the roof Tav rams a foot into a goblin's skull and crushes it in the landing. She is dimly aware of the arrow jarring against the bone of her hip on impact. But it does not hurt yet. She catches one more goblin turning to flee with her thorn whip, pulls it in and buries her blade into its back.

All but the ogres are fallen or badly injured.

The world is starting to speed up again. That red is fading away in pulses out of her vision. The bloodlust is thrumming out of her veins an onto the dirt. Exhaustion chases it out.

And in it's wake is the ache. The shackles snapping into place at wrist and heel.

All at once Tav is terrifically cold. She sways on unsteady feet, backing up. Whose voice is that? The howling is so loud now.

The sounds swirl like vertigo and she drops back to her knees. Her eyes search, scanning. What is she looking for?

Protect. Mine.

Tav's eyes snag finally on the wizard, still under the eaves where she pushed him to safety, looking at her now with wide eyes. Gale's face is full of panic.

Ah. There it is.

Fear.

His mouth is moving.

But all she hears is her own heart as she falls into blackness.

[bcolfanfic]

Hiiiii! I just wanna say that east side of sorrow is one of the best fics I've ever read. It tore my heart to shreds from the first paragraph. I love how you've characterised the boys and the way you capture the atmosphere and Bucky's inner dialogue </3.

If this is coming up in the second part of the fic just ignore me, but I wanted to ask how did Gale deal with the aftermath of Bucky's attempt, after he left him in the hospital? I bet he felt so guilty for just leaving Bucky by himself. Did he tell any of the boys (except Curt ofc)? Or did he make up some sort of excuse about where Bucky was?

Love your work <3 <3

while i do want to write a gale pov eventually it’s a ‘after i get farther on all again’ thing so yeah we can talk about this now!

poor thing is so crushed. comes back home and comes inside and sees the hole in the wall and just. breaks down. he’s so freaked out and upset and i think ends up calling curt almost immediately instead of even sleeping. when he does fall asleep it’s passing the fuck out from all the exhaustion finally coming to a head and catching up with him. maybe doesn’t even make it to their bed and he sleeps straight through for like 12 hours.

ken knows by proxy of curt, but he doesn’t go with when curt flies out because he doesn’t want to overwhelm gale (or bucky when they go see him but ahhh that goes a little sideways even without him there).

when curt is there/staying with gale he asks how he feels about telling the others what’s going on but gale is just. so so hesitant because even though bucky didn’t tell him he couldn’t he still kinda feels like he’s selling him out/embarrassing him. so if anyone does ask he says he went to see family in wisconsin. if they ask too many questions about why he didn’t go with him he changes the topic. which kinda screws things up because the 2+2ing the guys do with how weird he’s being is thinking they’re getting a divorce 😅

but after he goes to see bucky in the hospital and All That Happens they have a conversation about it and bucky tells him he can let them know, might as well so they don’t find out on accident- or think something else is going on.

and i think curt helps him with that so he’s not handling it by himself. poor sweet gale. he’s done so much for his husband and doesn’t regret a second of it because he loves him but he feels like it wasn’t enough since he almost you know, left. i think he probably starts seeing his own therapist after bucky is home and settled, just to work through those feelings and that guilt.

gale is muchhh more protective of bucky after this, even more so than he already was. which is something else he ends up talking about in therapy because he can tell bucky is a little irked by it. and bucky maybe straight up tells him he feels like gale just isn’t ever going to trust him again no matter how ‘healed’ he gets.

[becauseplot]

I finished Ordem Paranormal: Calamidae Episode 3! Wa hoo! A shorter episode, which obviously means this will be a shorter journal post right? Right???

And we're back with the Ordo crew! So happy to have my little guys again, I missed them. The Escripta crew was very interesting though, glad to have met them, looking forward to another session with them. I'm actually writing this having started Episode 4 because up until now I've had time to watch bits of episodes but not sit down and write up a big post like this. But I'm here now!

Me and my mutuals reblogging and liking each other's posts back and forth.

There isn't too much I want to talk about this episode. My last post sure was. A long one. I'll try to keep this one to the basics.

This episode should just be renamed to Carina and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. Jokes aside, though, Gabi was just. Holy shit. The sobbing, fuck, the voice cracking; the sheer vitriol and anguish and desperation. Chills. Her acting for Carina in this moment felt so raw, open wound. The pain in her voice. Ugh. God. Phenomenal.

The Devil sure is scheming something. More mentions of an oncoming "war," and an invitation to seemingly join a side. But seriously---invitations to a game from Kian, delivered by the Devil, found in Signore Leone's chest, locked in a box with the key found with blood beast Signora Leone, with the symbol from Arnaldo's grimoire on the envelopes. Okay. What the fuck. Whose side, exactly?? This "invitation" sure seems to have passed through a lot of hands. The battlefield of this war is currently a tangled mass of who-do-I-hate-less and my guys need to focus on just making it out of this mansion alive because oh shit there is a whole entire horde of blood zombies after them now D:

You know it's really funny. In my first journal post I was talking about how blood zombies are, at best, tutorial creatures to help new and returning players learn the revised combat mechanics, but now they're STILL TUTORIAL CREATURES MY GUYS FUCKED EM UP ROCKED THEIR SHIT TORE THEM TO SHREDS LETSGOOOO.

Highlights from this fight for me are: Carina turning into a human blender with her knife when in the zombie mosh pit, Dante dual-wielding his AoE spiral ritual, and "torretta."

Then there was the Hanna blood zombie. Lovely lovely detail to include that it looks like its limbs were reattached at wrong angles, as well as the Japanese character carved where its face would be. My boy is an artist <3

Really, though, it feels so. Mh. How do I say this. It's the fact that it's basically a creature of his own creation, intentionally or not. His hatred for the paranormal and the creatures it harbors vs the fact that he is somewhat responsible for this abomination existing. He feels. I don't want to say he feels unhuman, to call him no longer "human" would be doing the character a disservice, but he feels slightly left of human, you know? Not quite creature-coded, but more along the lines of a force of nature. A force of pain. Something that brings things like this into the world. Hanna, having been a powerful occultist in life, was always going to leave behind a powerful creature if left in a paranormally active area, but now it has some of Joui's influence on it and some of Joui's wrath inflicted upon it, which certainly has to be helping on the power-front.

I don't know. There's something about this that I feel like I'm walking around but not quite landing on. Get back to me in 3-5 business days.

(Update: I'm starting to think thoughts, and I might be terribly wrong about Joui being Death-leaning-but-backed-by-Blood-because-Devil and is instead just Blood. Not going to elaborate more because those thoughts need to stay in the pot to cook a little while longer but I really do hope Joui is still Death-leaning. Please it would make me specifically so happy.)

In any case, they took care of creature, even if it landed on top of Carina (ouch). Oh and the fan. Yes, the fan. Surprised that the fan does not, in fact, give the infamous paralysis ritual, which is what it was used for, and instead gives a zoomy ritual. Hanna does have multiple fans. According to Arthur's reaction, though, this seems to be the same one used to paralyze them, which I would assume would have the appropriate ritual symbol drawn on it. Ah well. Another ritual pocketed.

Upstairs and medical room (aka checkpoint before boss fight) and papers time, papers time, time to papers!

I actually don't remember too much about what they were talking about here, I'm pretty sure I was half-asleep when they were discussing lore. They looked over some more things with the black light (mention of a throne? like the Devil's?), they talked about the x-rays and the potential fact that Signore Leone had made a pact with the Devil when he was declared terminal with a heart tumor and BAM blood beast! Kinda sad that they didn't get to theorize more, but unfortunately this house is just full of horrors. I think I'll rewatch this section later.

Blood beast Signora Leone. MASSIVE. Rubens ran out into the hall, followed by Carina, because damn, short ranged weapons are a bad idea. (Head in hands, poor Balu....and with a paranormal Death spiral scar too...)

Believe it or not, these are screenshots from the same pause frame. Two very different emotions here.

At the very least, Arthur and Dante's sniper + echo dolor team attack came in clutch again (even if it was nerfed, rip Rakin) and it was especially cool this time around because Dante's turn was right after Arthur's for this combat. It really felt like they were trading off, chaining attacks. Neat!

More lore. Did not catch all of it. New page for the Grimoire with the symbol of the Mascaras...? Or something...? As you can see I pay careful attention to this series and all of the important plot points and investigation threads when they come up because I am an attentive viewer. Have a squished Dante.

Then there was the funeral for Signora Leone and the rest of the Leone family---once again a symbolic funeral, because there's rarely ever any remains left to bury when someone dies in this series, unfortunately. One thing I've noticed is that when a person dies in the middle of a mission, the burial always starts with their closest loved one(s) digging a grave with their bare hands. Sometimes someone else starts to help, sometimes someone else goes and finds a proper shovel, but it always starts with someone getting on their knees and clawing at the earth. It's raw. It's personal. You know the risks of your line of work and yet you still weren't prepared to do this; you could never be prepared to do this.

Arthur being there to support Carina in this horrible time, using everything he's learned from his own heartbreak and his own families to comfort her... He, too, lost his family in the span of a day. He, too, never got the chance to say goodbye. He, too, never could have imagined that something like this could happen. And Carina, just like he was, will also be saved by her new family---her team. So he gets on his knees beside her and helps her start to dig the grave. He tells her they'll carry the memories of their parted loved ones with them, and they'll continue fighting those bastard Occultists for the ones who are still here, and that the rest of the team will be here with her, always.

EVIL that Guaxi had Arthur pull out this photo. I get why, but EVIL.

A detail I love: in the middle of Arthur explaining all of this to her, calmly offering reassurances and comfort, at some point he hides his face and makes a furious expression---not the first time he's done this. I love the little peaks into how Arthur is really feeling about all of this bullshit. He's trying to stay level-headed and collected, presumably for the people on his team, but damn, it still hurts, and he's still pissed off. Just because he's showing less emotion than he used to doesn't mean he doesn't feel it.

Rotating Balu as well. He said he joined the Order looking for vengeance, like so many others, and everything that his vengeance and hate put him through wasn't worth it. so he left. "It’s better to live a life with a smile rather than with hate, even if it’s forced. You’ll see it’s not worth the pain. [...] I want to be the protagonist of my own story, I don’t want to just be the guy that hates others." Implying that letting yourself be moved by nothing but hate signifies a lack of agency over your own life LIKE YEAH. YEAH. THAT.

Clarissa continues to be stubborn. Everyone handles grief in different ways, and her taking a painful dig at Rubens is certainly a response---hurt people hurt people. Good on Rubens for simply leaving that conversation, it was going nowhere good.

Team sleepover on the (bloody) couches after making some food in the (bloody) kitchen in the (bloody) murderhouse! (If I had a nickel for every time etc etc.) Carina's conked out on the small couch mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted, Arthur and Dante are sharing the big couch and you cannot tell me Arthur is not drooling on him, Balu is sprawled out in one of the arm chairs, and Rubens has fully curled-up-crammed his body in the other.

The arrival of the rest of the Order really felt like the arrival of dawn. Agatha my beloved little alarm clock. Love how Carina, Rubens, and Balu jump when she shouts into the room and both Arthur and Dante barely stir. Something tells me they're used to this. And Ivete! She's here :D Things are feeling a bit lighter. Carina got to tell her sister that she deserves a day to break down and be a mess. Supporting each other <333

And oh, yeah. I feel physically ill about this. In a good way. More stuff about the Marcados being connected to each other by their players. And more stuff to imply the players are themselves entities of the Other Side if I squint, too. Foaming at the mouth.

"Liz would reveal [to Carina] that hate solves nothing, and the love of your family is much stronger." SO SOMEONE ON THE DISCORD TOLD ME THAT THIS WOULD'VE BEEN LIZ'S LAST WORDS TO JOUI IF SHE HAD BEEN ABLE TO SAY THEM. UNFORTUNATELY GABI WAS CUT OFF BY CELLBIT AS LIZ HAD CHOKED ON HER OWN BLOOD AS SHE DIED. ANYWAY. THINKING ABOUT THIS IN RELATION TO HOW JOUI IS NOW. CONSUMED BY HATE. Hard to say if hearing this would have done anything to "save" Joui considering that it was seemingly outstanding circumstances---the deal with the Mascaras---that really started him on that downward spiral in opd, though he was struggling before the Mascaras showed up and gave their deadline. Still. It's. A lot. Incredible coming from Liz, who in life believed herself to be a fundamentally bad, hateful person.

Does anyone still think about Elizabeth Webber because I think about Elizabeth Webber I think about Elizabeth Webber a lot actually I think tha

Bonus:

Fofoca (they are talking shit about you)

[lonelinessmademecrazy]

You said you've been writing down (or rather, typing up) whatever comes to your head when you first wake up. Would you be comfortable sharing some of the things you've written?

Sure, I see no harm in that. Some of the dates are a bit off due to me forgetting what days I had or had not accounted for.

Also, this will probably have a “read more” section bc this is LONG.

6/1/24

pasta would be better without the wait time. Why can’t it be packaged like udon?

6/2/24

No, I’m not paying for your tax write-off of a vacation

6/3/24

I’m not a monster. I’m not a creature. I’m not a god. I’m human. I’m normal. I’m perfectly normal.

6/6/24

Just like the coocoo bird effect,I killed my false parents. Dug my teeth into their flesh and tore and shred until there was nothing left. Only blood and bone shards.

6/7/24

cheese. not celery. CHEESE. Worst salsa de queso ever

6/9/24

I want chocolate

6/10/24

Feigning humanity only starves me further.

6/11/24

They worship the very thing that will kill them. They know it’ll kill them. Why do they expect appreciation from an old deity?

6/12/24

el conejo es muy delicioso

6/13/24

Tear, rip, shred, filét, slice, stab, scratch, do what I want. I’m so hungry and so angry.

6/15/24

Need to make friends. I’m so lonely

6/16/24

You’re a fucking liar. Go kill yourself.

Better yet, let me do it for you, pathetic waste of flesh.

6/17/24

I’m not a monster. I’d never eat that. I’d never do that. Nobody should worship me.

I’m just a normal human.

6/18/24

Kitty cat!! In car!! I want a pet kitty!

6/21/24

Those macarons were so fucking good. I should go get some more. Vanilla and pistachio

6/22/24

Beach

6/23/24

Water would be nice. It’s so hot

6:24/24

Mayonnaise is such a weird condiment

6/28/24

Cookies and cream flavored milkshakes are the best thing to grace the shelves of my fridge.

6/29/24

How much could a creature possibly need to eat? So many lives lost.

7/1/24

Sleep is for the weak

7/2/24

God, please let me sleep

7/3/24

Sleepy time tea

Check the mail

7/5/24

Cult. It’s a cult. They’re in fucking cult.

They worship the same thing that warned me about them

7/7/24

Don’t let them know

I know

I’m starving

7/9/24

Cake pops would sell so good on campus.

7/10/24

What do you mean you want a cheeseburger combo with no cheese. That’s just a hamburger combo.

No, a combo is just the burger and fries, you’re thinking of a meal. The meal has a drink with it.

7/11/24

I fucking hate fast food, oh my god

7/12/24

My thoughts get louder at night. Just when I think things are changing.

My thoughts get louder at night.

The insistent need to tear and rip and shred. I’d never, though.

I’m not a monster.

Right?

7/13/24

Shut up, you can make your own damn french fries.

7/14/24

I deserve a pay raise

7/15/24

That guy is not even real. Why does everyone think he’s stalking me?

7/18/24

It’s raining so much. I hate hurricane season

7/19/24

Can I PLEASE make it to work without driving through a literal flood??

7/20/24

Burger

Fries

Milkshake?? Eh, ice cream is better

7/21/24

Hunger. It’s all I feel. No matter how much I eat, I’m always hungry.

Maybe I’m not eating the right thing.

7/22/24

My teeth itch every time one of you talks. You’re all so annoying, I just wanna bite out your jugulars.

7/23/24

Bacon jerky

7/24/24

Something claws from deep within, begging for just a taste. Just a drop, a shred, a chunk, a bite.

I don’t want to eat that. That’s gross. But my brain tells me otherwise.

7/25/24

I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet

A pawn and a king

7/26/24

How many lives did they truly live? How many times did they all repeat that same, vicious cycle.

How lucky am I to be an outside viewer.

An observer

7/27/24

Kimchi jiggae and a big ass bottle of strawberry caplico

7/28/24

I want strawberry milk

7/29/24

He’s not the guardian. He’s the firebrand. That fucking liar. You’re just as bad as your captor.

8/1/24

Mmmm steamed egg

8/2/24

Vanilla ice cream

No, strawberry