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milfgyuu · 2 years ago

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Vanilla II [M]

Pairing: Joshua Hong x Fem!Reader Tags: 8.7k words, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Smut 18+ Summary: Joshua has you on edge all evening and you’re not sure if you’ll survive dinner with your families. You, however, have him dealing with feelings he’s never had to war with, especially in the bedroom and it throws him into a tailspin.

One | Two | Three

Warnings: explicit sexual content 18+, minors dni!, bdsm practices, rules & safe words established, mean-dom!josh, newbie-sub/brat!reader, unprotected sex, fingering, choking, manhandling, pussy slapping, demoralizing dirty talk, coarse language, thigh riding, slight exhibitionism, multiple orgasms, one glass of wine, pet names, moderate sir kink, inappropriate son-in-law behavior at the dinner table, aftercare, more feelings.

The box arrived over an hour ago but you couldn’t bring yourself to open it.

The poor delivery guy had to push it into your hands lest you both stand there staring at one another for a solid ten minutes and you’d immediately walked into your bedroom, eyes wide, posture stiff. Carefully placing it on the edge of the bed, you backed away as if there was surely an explosive inside. You hadn’t even looked at the tag before you retreated to your living room. You attempted to simply ignore its presence.

You knew who it was from.

Dinner was a measly three hours away and you were a mess. You’d cleaned your condo from top to bottom which technically, had nothing to do with this evenings plans but you have a knack for stress cleaning and overthinking. So, now your floors were so clean you could eat off of them and you were absently twirling a wine glass, leaning in the doorframe of your bedroom, staring wearily at that damned box and it’s silk ribbon.

“I’m not afraid of a damned box,” you mumble to yourself, pushing into the room.

Draining your glass, you set it on the dresser before turning back toward the bed. The pristine white package taunts you and from this close, you can see the ever familiar scrawl on the tag. You lean forward tentatively, reaching for the ribbon, and as soon as your fingers close around the silk, the silence is pierced by a sudden sound and you shriek in terror, leaping back like a spooked prey animal.

You realize it’s your phone ringing and you huff in agitation, answering without even looking at the caller ID. “Hello?” spills from your lips in a harsh breath.

“Hello, angel,” Joshua’s honeyed voice spills into your ear, “What’s got you so worked up?”

“I- sorry, nothing,” you sputter out, hand still clutched to your chest, “It was just really quiet when the phone rang. It surprised me, that’s all.”

Joshua hums musedly, “Did you open my gift?”

You plop down on the edge of the bed, running your finger over the ribbon, “Want me to be honest?”

“Of course I do, sweetheart.”

The addition of these weaponized pet names has had a devastating effect on your well-being and Joshua uses them every chance he can get. “I’m afraid of the box.”

The words come out in a grumbling whisper and Joshua hums, “Open the box or I’m telling your mother how cute I think the birthmark on the inside of your thigh is.”

You’re scrambling for the package in the next second, tearing the bow off and letting it carelessly flutter to the floor while you fumble with the lid. When it finally comes off, you toss that and look into the box with one eye closed. There is nothing springing out at you but you put the phone on speaker and place it on the bed in case you need two hands.

“Well,” Joshua encourages at least some response, “What do you think?”

“It’s a dress,” you marvel, running your fingers over the soft material.

Laughter. “What did you think it was?”

You scoff at his teasing. “I don’t know. Something scandelous like anal beads or vibrating panties, knowing you.”

“Anal beads,” he repeats with a chuckle of surprise, “Interesting thought, but no. I don’t need toys to make you ruin your panties at the dinner table, my love.”

You smile, taking the dress out and holding it up to your shoulders. You glance over at the standing mirror in your room, appreciating your reflection. “You’re an absolute nightmare…but it’s really pretty. Thank you, Joshie.”

“You’re welcome,” he sighs happily, “I bet it’ll will look just as pretty on you as it will on the floor tonight.”

“JOSHUA.”

“I’ll pick you up in a few hours, baby,” Joshua carries on, non-plussed with your embarrassment, “Oh, and check under the tissue paper, there should be something else.”

He’s gone before you can respond and you eye the phone suspiciously before peering into the seemingly empty box. Indeed, you were too focused on the dress that you didn’t bother to check the rest of the contents and when you dig down to the bottom you let out the longest sigh, your head falling back on your shoulders.

At the bottom of the box, there is the purest, most stereotypical, virginal white set of satin lingerie you’ve ever laid your eyes upon. The irony is overwhelming.

“I’m going to actual hell for this man.”

You haven’t a damned clue what Joshua has up his sleeve for dinner tonight.

He picked you up at the door like any normal date, though you quickly realize that no man has ever shown up on your doorstep looking that good. Hair neatly styled, black jeans, crisp button down with the sleeves rolled and a few buttons undone. He was unfairly attractive but he looked at you like you hung all the stars in the sky.

He’d waited patiently for you to put on your earrings and shoes, and find your purse that you’d forgotten was left in the kitchen and just before you crossed the threshold of your front door he hooked you around the middle and spun you around for one long, dizzying kiss. Your eyes took a moment too long to open and he laughed when you asked what warranted such a greeting.

“I missed you,” was all he said and that was exactly what took you off guard. Fool.

Your parents are chatting in the living room when you arrive, pushing through the door quietly as if you could sneak in with Joshua without everyone realizing you arrived together. Fat chance because Joshua’s mother envelopes you both in a tight hug the second you step over the threshold and the first thing out of her mouth is, “My darlings! Did you come together?”

Joshua kisses his mom on the cheek like the doting son he is and smiles as he delivers a little white lie. “We live so closely to one another that it made more sense to carpool.”

Smooth.

Your mom is right behind her, pecking Joshua’s cheek and then your own. “Oh, we’re so happy you’re here! It’s been so long since we’ve gotten together like this.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Joshua standing with both your fathers, your own grinning and patting him on the shoulder proudly. You tried to ignore how happy it made you that Joshua was so loved by your parents and when his mother tucks her hand into your elbow, pulling you into the dining room behind your mother, you’re grateful for the way they love you as well.

“Sweetheart, level with me,” She whispers, “How is my boy? He always tells me he’s just fine but I think he works too hard. Is he doing ok?”

You giggle at her pouted lips, patting her hand. “He really is okay, I promise,” you reassure her, “I make sure he gets out of the house every weekend and eats three square meals a day.”

Four meals if you count yourself but she doesn’t need to know that.

She squeezes you to her side, grinning beautifully. “That’s my girl! I’m so thankful that the two of you have remained close over the years. It warms my heart that you have each other,” she sighs and you know it’s coming, “We surely thought the two of you would be ma-”

“Mom,” Joshua’s voice cuts in, a smirk upon his pretty lips that resemble the woman he’s lovingly admonishing, “We’ve only just arrived and you’re already starting?”

She hitches a hand on her hip. “Joshua, I’m not getting any younger. Time to pick up the pace. Chop, chop!”

Your own mother snorts and pops her hand out down by her hip for Joshua’s mom to drop a low-five against her palm, the two of them giggling like school girls.

Your father chuckles coming up to your side and kissing your hair, “Ladies, leave the kids alone,” he grins, “Why don’t you two go up to your old room…there may or may not be a gift from your dear old dad waiting for you.”

You turn to him in surprise and he looks very smug, just like he had every Christmas morning since you were a kid. Your father was excellent at giving gifts and you threw your arms around him. “You didn’t have to get me anything,” you look up at him affectionately, “I’m too old for you to keep spoiling like this.”

He waves you off, pushing you toward Joshua and gesturing for you to go upstairs, “You’ll always be my little girl,” he argues, shooing you away, “Both of you go see, dinner won’t be ready for another twenty minutes anyway.”

You’re still looking back at him when you reach the foot of the stairs and Joshua’s hand splays low on your back, startling you into motion. You both miss how your mothers begin nudging one another conspiratorily as they watch you go. “Did you see that?” your mother whispers to his and she giddly returns, “Oh, yes, how do you feel about summer weddings?” and the two of them hurry back to the kitchen.

Both your fathers groan.

The closer you get, the more anxious you become. You hadn’t anticipated being alone with Joshua until later this evening and you quickly realize you were naive to think this dinner would go as planned. That you’d be able to sit across from your families and look them in the eye without cracking.

Joshua has you pinned against the inside of your bedroom door half a second after it’s closed, his hand wrapped around your throat. He’s less than an inch away from your face, eyes trailing from his hand up and he smirks, his breath ghosting over your skin “Do you think daddy knows the way his little girl likes to be spoiled now that she’s all grown up?”

“Joshua,” you gasp out, feeling his opposite hand pushing beneath your dress, “Our parents are right downstairs.”

He looks at you pointedly and raises a brow. “Then keep your pretty mouth shut.”

Panties pushed aside, he rubs the pads of his fingers against you, eyes trained on your face. When he pushes inside, you let out a breathy whimper and Joshua presses his lips against yours briefly, smothering the sound. “Shhhh,” he hushes you, teasing his teeth against your bottom lip, “Someone might think we’re up to something.”

He pulls his fingers from you and slaps your cunt at the same time he slips his tongue into your mouth, swallowing the pathetic moan before you can fully form it. The way he commands you to stay silent and then purposely pulls illicit sounds from the depths of your lungs sets the tone for the evening. He wants you to fail. An excuse to ruin you once you’re completely alone.

“Should I make you come before dinner?” he asks, kissing the side of your face sweetly, as if he’s not defiling you in your childhood bedroom. “Mellow you out,” he purs, rolling your clit in tight circles, “Relax you so you can be my good, obedient girl at the table?”

You nod your head frantically. “Yes, please yes… I’ll be so good for you.”

He smirks and then pulls away from you completely, watching your body sag helplessly against the door. Turning his back on you, panic begins to bubble up in your chest because maybe he was just fucking with you but you’re already desperate for his touch, fighting the urge to rub your thighs together and then he’s sitting on your bed, leaning back on his hands, legs spread.

The vision is so much like the first time you were together that you almost automatically drop to your knees to crawl over to him and Joshua sees it in your eyes. He’s so pleased with your reaction that he smiles and tips his head back in a beckoning gesture, “Come here, angel.”

Shaky legs quickly carry you over to him and Joshua’s hands come around your hips as he leans up, silently requesting a kiss. He’s gentle and tender, pulling you further onto the bed with him until he settles you over one thigh and you realize that was simply a distraction. You look down at him and he raises a brow as if to say, ‘what are you waiting for?’

Your fingers tense on his shoulders. “I don’t- I’ve never…”

Joshua’s gaze never leaves your own as he begins dragging your hips forward, rolling your cunt over his flexed muscle. “You will learn,” he commands just as you eyes close and then there is a loud, sharp smack to your ass and your eyes fly open in suprise at both the shock and the sound.

“Keep your eyes on me,” his nails bite into the material of your dress bunched up at your hips, “You can only play that off once or twice before someone comes to check on us. Do you want them to find you in here fucking my thigh in your pretty white panties?”

“N-no, sir.”

“Mhm,” Joshua nods, “That’s what I thought,” he suddenly releases you and leans back again, “Keep going and don’t stop until you make yourself come.”

“Yes, sir.”

You rock back and forth a little stiffly at first, horribly embarrassed and entirely aroused by the demeaning undertones of the act. The blatant desperation in each pass over his clothed thigh making that knot in your gut tighten exponentially. Joshua’s gaze never leaves your face and he doesn’t touch you or kiss you even once. He does however, move your panties to the side, mumbling something about not ruining those quite yet.

You settle into a faster pace, hands clutching his shoulders for support, the friction from his pants is absolute torture for your sensitive cunt and you bite your tongue to stop from whimpering pathetically. Your voice comes out in a choppy whisper, pace stuttering, “I-I’m so close…”

“Yeah, I know,” is all he says, eyes rapt with their focus on you.

The simple dismissal has a damning effect and you fall into an orgasm that has the man beneath you laughing quietly, offering little support for your weak, quivering body. He waits until you settle down, leaning a bit more weight onto him and then he’s kissing your face, brushing stray strands of hair back into place with his long fingers.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it, baby?” he teases you, settling loose the butterflies in your stomach all over again, “You’re not as mouthy tonight. Why’s that?”

You roll your head against his shoulder, stars still dancing beneath your eyelids.

“Honestly?”

Joshua laughs at your redundant question and you smirk against the pristine material of his shirt.

“I’m still adjusting to this version of you and I feel like I’m not sure what to expect,” you hum, picking your head up to see him listening to you intently, “I also don’t want to…well…disappoint you.”

He smiles, lips pursed as if he finds your worry a bit amusing. “The only time I’ve ever been truly disappointed in you was when you decided to go shot for shot with Jeonghan at that party when we were in college, after I explicitly told you not to, and then I had to carry you, sobbing and puking, back to my apartment and spend all night making sure you didn’t choke in your sleep.”

Oof, that was embarrassing.

“You’re so focused on this new aspect of our relationship but you have to remember I am the same person you’ve known your whole life,” he assures you firmly, hands encasing your waist, pulling you closer, “Be yourself. That’s the girl I love. Smart mouth and all. It might take some time but you’ll know when I’m being serious and dynamics are at play but don’t stop being you. Okay?”

A giddy sort of shyness overtakes your body and you hide your face in the crook of his neck, shielding yourself from view. Joshua chuckles, wondering what’s overcome you and he kisses your hair, rubbing his hand over your back. “What is it?”

“You’re stupidly romantic when you want to be,” you sputter out with a soft laugh, willing the stinging in your cheeks to dissipate. You lift your head, averting your eyes and then you suddenly realize there was an actual purpose to coming up here.

And it wasn’t the orgasm nor the heart to heart.

Joshua follows your line of sight and laughs, “Forgot about that,” he shifts, helping you to stand and fix your dress, “Got a bit distracted.”

His eyes are shining on you and that same airy feeling bubbles up inside, like your high school crush is watching you from across the courtyard. Nevermind the fact you’re a mature woman, holding a career, a home, and a 401k. Joshua makes you feel like you’re just a girl again, scribbling Mrs. Joshua Hong in your diary.

You drag your eyes away and pick up the small wrapped box, delicately pulling apart the intricate bow that lets you know your mother had captained the wrapping portion. Removing the lid, you release a tiny gasp, marveling at the vintage polaroid camera within the tissue paper. You quickly discard the box, looking over every single tiny detail.

“Your dad never misses with gifts,” Joshua chuckles, peering down at the camera in your hands. “That’s really cool.”

“I know! It’s so pretty,” you coo, bubbling over with excitement, “Can we go back down? I wanna thank dad and dinner will probably be ready....and we’ve been missing a little too long...”

Joshua nods, slightly amused that you felt the urge to ask for permission but as you turn for the door, reaching for the handle, his hand catches around your forearm and you pause midstep, turning inquisitively.

“What’s up?” you ask with round eyes.

“Give me a kiss first.”

Turns out Joshua can make your thighs quake whether he’s being mean and snarky or sickly sweet because you step toward him on unsteady legs, pressing up on your toes to kiss him just as he’s requested. It’s short and tender, making you narrow your eyes at him suspiciously but he just pats your butt and urges you out of the room.

The sounds of your foot steps coming down the stairs alerts the parents and your father is the first one to look up, smiling at the way your eyes hardly come away from the new toy in your hands. “Whaddya think kiddo?”

You look up, a massive smile plastered on your face and hurry over, throwing your arms around his shoulders. “It’s perfect! Thank you so much!”

Your dad starts showing you different features but your attention catches on Joshua’s mother’s voice. “Josh, sweetie,” she calls, “You’ve got a stain on your pants.”

Ice floods your veins as you look over and laser focused in on the wet spot in the middle of Joshua’s thigh and you think you might become violently ill in the very next second. That’s from your-

“I was washing my hands upstairs and accidentally splashed myself,” he laughs it off airly, not a hint of discomfort on his pretty face, “Can I help finish anything up?”

You mentally applaud his quick cover-up but Joshua doesn’t look like he was ever sweating over it to begin with. Meanwhile, you’re still a little green around the gills.

“No, no, sweet boy,” your mom shoos him back over to the dining room, “Dinner is all ready, why don’t you have a seat. Honey,” she calls over to your father, interrupting his camera spiel, “We can play with the camera later. Come eat!”

Your father huffs out a little adoring sound and follows his wife’s directions, falling into the head of the table, opposite Joshua’s father, whilst your mothers purposefully occupy the same side of the table leaving you and Joshua to sit side by side.

Joshua noticeably dotes on you right away, scooping helpings of food onto your plate, laying your napkin over your lap, filling your glass, and not a single moment of it goes unnoticed by your parents. That is until everyone’s head is bowed in prayer.

It’s more so out of obligation that you dip your head whilst Joshua’s father says grace but then his very own son’s wicked hand is beneath your dress, trailing between your thighs. You sneak a panicked glance in his direction and he raises a brow, daring you to make a single sound, then he’s pushing against the inside of your right thigh, urging them apart.

You hold your breath, uncrossing your ankles and subtly opening your legs after another insisting nudge. Joshua’s longs fingers toy with the ribbon on your underwear before rubbing boldly against your cunt, the white satin material sticking to your increasingly slick folds. A whimper arrises in your throat and you nearly choke on it, swallowing down any sort of reaction that could give you away.

His hot hand cups your pussy and he smirks at how tightly you’re clenching, near shaking with clipped control, his head still bowed like the devout son he’s believed to be. Finally, you hear and ‘amen’ and you echo it in a constricted tone, trying not to sigh as Joshua’s hand moves back to your thigh and slowly out from under your dress.

“Honey, you’re looking a little flushed, are you too warm? I can turn the fan on.”

You stutter out a laugh, picking up your glass and guzzling down your water. “Oh, no mom, I’m fine. I just got a little dizzy there for a moment. Must be starving…let’s eat!”

Joshua smirks to himself yet again, listening to you ramble on.

There’s the normal causal dinner conversation and for the most part, Joshua doesn’t do anything to make you feel like spontaneously passing out. He does however take great pleasure in throwing little compliments at you indirectly, feeding them to your family, and even sometimes physically feeding you straight off his own plate. As if there isn’t a perfectly good one in front of you.

Your mothers, like two gossiping hens, whisper back and forth as he spoons you another bite, watching you chew it and swallow it down with an affectionate gaze.

They at least wait until the end of dinner to start the great inquisition.

“So,” here it comes, “What’s going on between the two of you?” his mother squints, smile clearly conveying her suspicions, “Come on,” she pouts in her son’s direction, “You know you can’t lie to your mama.”

You look at Joshua and he looks at you but truthfully, you have nothing to offer him. Not that he needs help apparently because his answer is smooth, simple.

“We’re...sort of seeing each other.”

Your parents fall into a flurry of excitement, asking all sorts of questions and cooing over the two of you. Joshua answers everything smoothly, only fumbling once when his mother snickers something about grandchildren, at which you finally let out a little huff of laughter. The sounds seems to release a little tension in Josh’s shoulders and he looks over with a soft smile.

You realize then he’d actually been nervous about your reaction.

You find his hand under the table, squeezing it reassuringly. To your unending surprise, he laces his fingers with yours and pulls it up to his lips, kissing the back of your hand casually as he converses with your parents. As if your heart isn’t in smithereens.

As if your mothers aren’t hearing wedding bells in their heads already.

Your dad starts gathering plates to take to the kitchen and you stop him. “You guys made dinner, let us clean up,” you tell him, “Why don’t you guys go relax and we’ll take care of this.”

Joshua chimes in with his agreement and your parents slowly file out of the dining room, doting cheek kisses and congratulatory pats on the back along the way. Once alone, you catch Joshua hanging his head, a gorgeous smile upon his lips.

“What’s got you smiling like that?” you chuckle, collecting dishes at his side.

He follows you into the kitchen. “I really hadn’t planned on telling them but they seemed so excited and I guess I made it kind of obvious that things were different between us anyway.”

You pile the dishes next to the sink and turn to face him, leaning against the counter. “You mean you weren’t just trying to tease me and stir up a little gossip?”

Joshua looks down at you, a playful smirk unfolding upon his pretty lips and he steps close enough to get his hands around your waist. “Perhaps at first,” he answers, “But in truth, I find that I just can’t keep my eyes off of you…or my hands.”

“I’m not complaining.”

It takes great effort to spin in his arms, away from those perpetually pouted lips so you can focus on the dishes instead. “I’ll wash if you dry,” you suggest, smirking when Joshua plants a kiss on your shoulder. “That sounds fair,” he squeezes your sides, “Then we have to find a way out of here so I can take you home.”

“Oh?” you giggle, hands submerged in soapy water, “What’s the rush?”

Joshua’s hands slide up to your ribs, just below your breasts and he leans in even closer, lips pressed against your ear. “Would you rather I bend you over right here?”

You can feel every inch of him against your body and it wouldn’t take much to convince you to do something stupid right here, right now.

“How long do you think they’ll leave us alone, hmm?”

His left hand cups your breast. His right encasing your throat. You can hear your parents laughing together on the other side of the wall and you swallow hard.

“Josh,” your hands hit the bottom of the sink, bracing yourself as he pushes against the swell of your ass.

He kisses your face and squeezes the sides of your throat just long enough to watch your eyes flutter closed and then he lets go, both hands dipping down to their original position so he can pull you back, cradling you close to his chest. “Don’t worry, angel,” he whispers in your ear, “I’m only teasing.”

He lets you go and takes up a spot at your side smirking at your flustered face and tense posture. It takes a moment to reorient yourself, taking a deep breath and shaking your shoulders out. Your parents are pretty particular about cleaning up while they’re cooking so it’s really only the table dishes that need cleaning.

Easy enough…you can make it through this.

Except Joshua’s hands caress yours everytime you pass something to him and he leans in every few seconds to dirty things in your ear. At some point your mother walks in on this and coo’s in teasing adoration at the two of you being so close. Joshua is extra smug after that but thankfully, you manage to wash and dry everything and scurry away from Joshua’s relentless grip, back out to your families with minimal damage.

Joshua carries on conversation so easily, as if he wasn’t talking about draping you over the edge of the bed and fucking your throat raw mere minutes ago.

He has perfect patience, perfect manners, perfectly timed responses. His perfect hand is placed just perfectly over your knee in a way that is chaste in front of your families because it’s only when they look away that he digs his fingertips into your skin, his pretty, painted on smile slowly chipping away…

Joshua’s father mentions something about an event at the church in a few weeks and that’s when Josh realizes he’s stopped listening because you’re nudging him and his vision focuses on your face, sweetly smiling back at him.

“Lost you for a minute, you must be tired,” your voice rings in his ears and he blinks but you’ve already turned away and he’s still looking at your face, “We should probably get going,” you tell your parents softly, “Don’t want my ride to fall asleep on me.”

There is a hint of teasing in your tone and Joshua catches onto it just like you knew he would. He straightens his spine, stretching his neck to either side and lets out a gorgeous, fake, laugh. “I’m afraid my bed time is much earlier than it used to be.”

His father grins and lays a hand on his shoulder as everyone stands up to start making goodbyes. “Get used to it son,” his father laughs, “One second you’re staying out until three in the morning and the next you’re falling asleep on the couch by seven.”

Your parents stand out in the driveway and you continue waving to them until Joshua flips his blinker and turns at the end of the road. Slumping down into your seat, Joshua’s chuckle catches your attention and you look over to see him smirking.

“Nice cover back there.”

You snort, adjusting your dress, “Had to come up with something. You were entirely glazed over,” you laugh recalling his empty presence, “Anything in particular on your mind”

He didn’t skip a beat. “Couldn’t remember if I folded the laundry before I left.”

You level him with an incredibly flat look and he laughs. “You look disappointed.”

Huffing and crossing your arms you throw your head back against the seat petulantly. “Here I was hoping you were too busy thinking about how badly you wanted to rip my dress off and finish the job.”

He kisses his teeth in disapproval. “If I remember correctly, you came in your panties before dinner. Getting a bit greedy, don’t you think?”

Your cheeks heat, pinching tight for being admonished, yet your thighs press together, making Joshua smirk to himself.

“Look at you,” he purrs in a condescending tone, “Getting all hot and bothered again over a few stern words. Do you really want to know what I was thinking about, baby?”

Knowing better than to leave his question unanswered, you meekly reply with, “Yes, sir,” and he taps his fingers against the steering wheel.

“I was thinking about dressing you up when we got home.”

You’re confused because you were already dressed up or so you thought. He was the one who bought your clothes and lingerie but Joshua, all knowing, chuckles, smoothly flipping the blinker again, so close to home. “I went shopping,” he vaguely explains.

Something tells me most of his purchases are not things to be worn outside the bedroom and you sink into the seat, glancing out the window nervously. “Who thought it was a good idea to give you adult money?”

He glances over with a smirk and lays his big hand on your thigh, fingertips ghosting over your skin teasingly. “What good is adult money if I’m not spending it on things that spark joy?”

“I believe that’s called ‘Thinking with your dick’, Joshie. Not a good investment plan.”

He squeezes the meat of your thigh and then slaps the inside of it sharply, “Funny,” he smirks at the scandalous sound that escapes from your lips before you cover your mouth in abject horror, “When I give you my dick you don’t think at all.”

Half-appalled you mimic him under your breath, folding your legs away from him and he pokes his tongue in his cheek to suppress a laugh. He’s really been too soft tonight if you’re already so riled up with your mini outbursts and pouting. It’s kinda cute.

Pulling into the garage, you get out of the car much quicker than he does, earning a laugh as you bounce on the balls of your heels eagerly waiting for him to unlock and open the door. “You have your own key, you know? I’d intended for you to use it whenever you wish,” he pushes the door open for you to step inside and shrug off your coat and bag.

“I’ll use it…um, eventually.”

Joshua snickers at you twisting fingers and wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you tight to his chest as he secures the door. “Does it make you nervous?”

You toy with the top button of his shirt, not quite looking at him at first. “It’s…well…It’s just that we’ve been friends for so long and now we’re sort of seeing each other and it’s all new and I-”

“You’re worried this won’t work out and we lose our friendship?”

You look up nervously. “I mean it’s normal to worry about stuff like that, right?”

Joshua hums in thought just before leaning closer to press a single kiss against your lips but when he pulls back, his eyes meet your own. “Is this about what we talked about earlier? About me being…disappointed?”

You don’t verbally answer, but your eyes fall back down and that is answer enough. He takes your chin between your fingers and pulls it back up, forcing you to look at him when he speaks next. “I know all of your habits, your secrets, your fears, dreams, strengths, weaknesses, everything that comes together to make you, and if you really stop and think about it, you’ll realize you know me just as well.”

Your breath hitches when his hand catches on the back of your dress, right where the zipper begins and he glides it a bit lower. “You and I have never been strangers to one another in all our lives. Even when we grew up and changed over time, I’ve loved you every step of the way.”

“Josh…” your eyes water, lip quivering as he pulls the zipper down further, slipping his warm hand beneath the material to splay across your back comfortingly.

“I loved you when we were seven and you convinced me to have a fashion show in your mom’s closet. I loved you when we were twelve and you punched that kid that bullied me right in the nose. I loved you when we were sixteen and you tried to cover for me when backed into the mailbox in dad’s car and we both got grounded. I loved you when we turned twenty-one and you made me do jager shots at that dingy bar downtown, the one with the sticky bar stools.”

You chuckle at all the memories you’ve shared, delicately wiping under your eyes as he continues, his fingers smoothing over your skin sweetly.

“I loved you when we were twenty-three and you showed up at my apartment in the middle of the night because there was an accident nearby and I wasn’t answering my phone. You stayed over clung to me all night. I loved you when we were twenty-five and you helped me move into this house, spending over a week decorating it like some fancy catalog. Do you know why I asked you to lead the design?”

You furrow your brows. “I’m your best friend and an interior designer, I kind of figured you were just taking advantage of having the hook up.”

He scrunches his nose in amusement. “I was kinda hoping you might want to live here one day,” he admits, chuckling at the shock in your face, “So you see, I’ve been waiting a really, really long time to hold you like this and be able to tell you how much I love you so rest assured, I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon.”

Another errant tear loosens and spills down your cheek but you’re already pressing up on your toes to kiss him once, twice, three times, lingering sweetly before pulling back down and smiling at him, “How do you plan to keep me then, lover boy?”

Joshua laughs joyfully and then he’s lifting you up and carrying you from the room, pressing kisses all over your chest and collar bones. “I could always cuff you to the bed.”

“I guess you could…tie me up?”

Joshua stalls right inside the doorway to his bedroom and you slide down his body in confusion. Your suggestion bounces around in his head and he knows ropes were not included in his game plan for the evening but he’s not entirely inflexible.

Not when the woman he loves is joking about being tied up for him like a pretty little present. His cock strains in his pants and you feel it against your belly. You look down between your bodies and back up again, “You liked that idea too much.”

His eyes flit down to yours unamusedly, “You talk too much.”

Suppressing a smile, you reach your arms around him and pull his shirt from his waist band, trailing around to the buttons once it’s freed. Joshua watches you patiently, not interrupting your slow unveiling. He even entertains you by shrugging his shirt off after it’s undone. You don’t immediately reach for his belt though.

Bracing your hands against his chest, you peer up at him for a moment and take him by surprise when you kiss him again. It’s sweet, slow, one of those kisses that knocks Joshua back down a few pegs, makes his hand ghost up your spine until one is cradling the back of your head and the other finds a home on your cheek.

For the first time, Joshua finds himself lost in the sensation of his rapidly beating heart, the delicate hum in your throat, the way he can’t stop thinking about how beautiful you looked at dinner. How natural it all is to have you at his side in front of his parents, talking and laughing about the past, present, and future.

How badly he wants to skip ahead to all the things he’s ever wanted to have with you because he’s incredibly impatient now that the possibility rests in his hands.

He’s not used to have such thoughts and feelings cloud his mind when he’s anywhere near the bedroom because until he had you, there wasn’t anyone who invoked such strong romantic ideals. He was strictly business with nearly all of his past partners and you’re throwing him so far off balance that’s it’s noticeable.

“Joshie,” you giggle, kissing his heaving chest, “You’re in your head tonight. Everything okay?”

He shakes his head, blinking away his thoughts. “I’m sorry,” he purses his lips for a moment, “I don’t know why I’m so distracted.”

You tilt your head in concern. “You’re thinking about something other than me?” you tease him gently, fingers dipping just below his waistband.

Joshua laughs softly, hands squeezing at your sides. How absurd, he thinks.

“No,” he places his hand over yours, right over his heart, “That’s the problem. You’re creating chaos in here and I’m having trouble focusing on just one thing at a time.”

You can see it in his eyes, hear it in his tone, feel it in the way his hands knead into your flesh like he needs you even closer. He needs help.

Push me. Push me so I can finally think straight.

Push me over the edge so I can bring you down with me.

Leaning forward, you press a kiss to the back of his hand before slipping your own from his grasp. Joshua unfolds around you as you gently pull out of his arms. His pretty lips pout in confusion as you stand a few feet away from him, reaching around to find where he left your zipper before pulling it all the way down, slipping the material from your body.

“What are you doing?”

His voice is tense but there is still an air of desperation, a lack of control.

“I’m undressing, what does it look like?”

Something in his jaw twitches at your words and he fixes his lips to speak but you interrupt him as he moves to take a step forward. “Stay.”

He halts midstep, mouth falling into a frown, brows following in turn. “Excuse m-”

“I said,” you sit on his bed, nothing but the virginal white satin and lace covering your skin, “Stay.”

His eyes darken and he ignores your words, moving toward you rather quickly but he stops with a soft oof and looks down incredulously at your foot pressed against his thigh. He pulls his eyes back up to you and it takes every ounce of courage to keep up the charade. To get him in the right headspace.

“What’s wrong, Joshie?” you pout your lips, titling your head condescendingly, “Don’t know how to follow simple instructions?”

“Put your foot down and stand up.”

His words are dark, steely, and the promise of his follow through sends a warm shot of arousal through your body. You know this is the final shove he needs and it takes the very last bit of bravado you have left.

Giggling, you lean back onto your elbows, body laid out on display, and slide your foot further up his thigh until it rests right over his cock still straining against his jeans.

You smirk up at him with your very last words. “Make me.”

One second you’re mentally congratuating yourself for managing such a line and in the next Joshua has somehow managed to grab the sheets on either side of your body and use them to catapulte you out of bed, your legs nearly crumpling beneath you, a scream attempting to rip from your chest. It won’t however, it can’t.

Not with Joshua’s hand wrapped around your throat.

“Did you have your fun, baby?”

You follow him with embarrassingly uncoordinated steps as he pulls you a few feet back, eyes never leaving your face. “Want me to show you how I can make you do anything I want?”

Yes, yes, yes, you need it. You try to speak but the moment your lips part, he squeezes and you let out a whimper instead.

“Rhetorical question,” he sneers, pushing you out and away from his body but only far enough to maintain his hold, “You’re smarter than that.”

The lack of physical contact grates on your nerves and it’s obvious. Your limbs itch and tingle and you ache to reach out to touch him, be close to him like you have been all night. Suddenly, there is a sense of pure panic building in your gut, climbing into your chest and looking for a way out.

“So needy,” he coos, walking you backwards until you’re stumbling against the bed again, clutching at his wrist, “Surely, you don’t need me to touch you.”

Wait-

He pushes you back onto the bed and stares down at you. “You can do it all on your own, can’t you?”

Lip quivering pathetically and entirely out of your control, you fight to speak and release a panicked, “N-no!” and the sound takes Joshua by surprise.

“No?” He questions, laying a hand over each of your thighs, leaning into your space. He feels the deep shuttering breath that loosens from your chest and climbs over you, his fully body weight pushing you into the mattress. Your hands come up of their own accord, winding around his torso tightly.

“You can do a-anything you want,” you choke out, shocked by how quickly your teasing had bled into something so desolate that it has you clawing at his skin to keep him close. “Don’t stop touching me. Please don’t stop touching me.”

“It’s okay…it’s okay,” he murmurs into your ear, kissing your face, “I’m right here. I’m not leaving. I love you, i’m not leaving….you’re okay.”

The desperation in his voice matches the pace of his movements, the way he quickly shuffles you further up onto the bed. It takes a bit of coaxing for you to allow him to part for only a minute which is spent frantically removing the rest of his clothing and your own before he’s crawling back over your body, pulling the sheets up and around you both protectively.

Joshua’s joke about holding hands and kissing while fucking comes to full fruitition and he doesn’t even care at this point. He buries himself inside you slowly and swallows your open moaning, your desperate whining and keening. He hitches your thigh higher up on his waist and looks into your eyes when you tell him how much you love him, want him, need him and he loses himself in it.

For the first time in his adult life he realizes that there are some situations that don’t allow for control and order and he surrenders to it, drowns in it. In you.

It strikes him that perhaps this is the most vanilla sexual experience he’s ever encountered. Missionary between the sheets, kissing, touching, whispering sweet nothings to the woman he loves. It’s not so bad. It’s kind of amazing.

You roll your body along with his, pushing and pulling equally like you just can’t get enough. It consumes you, lights your body on fire and your nails rake down his back, digging crescents into his pretty skin and eliciting deep groans that Joshua can’t hold back. He’s got little to no control over his response and it floors him.

Especially when you squeeze your thighs around his waist, crying through an orgasm so strong it drags him over the edge right along with you, leaving him panting into the base of your throat with stars behind his lids as he empties himself deep inside. He blinks slowly but the flashes of light remains and he can’t find the will to pull away for several long minutes, so he doesn’t.

The weight of Joshua’s body settled atop your own is welcome and soothing to the point that you’ve somehow fallen asleep, or into some level of unconciousness. It’s not quite deep enough to allow Joshua to move away from you easily but he convinces you with gentle kisses and soft laughter and you eventually untangle yourself and allow him to stretch his limbs.

The moment his body heat is gone though, your eyes pop open to track him and realize he’s not gone far. He’s simply sitting on the edge of the bed and you reach a hand out to trace over the planes of his back. He looks over his shoulder with a small smile.

“Go back to sleep, baby,” his voice is a little more spent than usual, “I’ll be right here.”

Rolling onto your side, you curl your body around him, stealing back some of his warmth. “I…uh,” your voice is hesitant as you trace your finger over his spine softly, “I’m sorry I messed up. I don’t really know what happened…”

Joshua shifts to look at you. “You didn’t mess anything up,” he corrects you firmly, “You pushed to help me refocus and it worked but then I pushed back too hard and i’m sorry for not reading things better. It’s my job to make sure we enter a scene with clear minds and intentions but I was high off emotion and not thinking straight. I’m not used to that.”

You nod, mostly understanding his meaning but the tension in his shoulders still worries you. “I’ll do better next time…I promise.”

Joshua hums in disapproval. “That’s not what I meant,” he runs his fingers over your hair and across your cheek, “This probably won’t make sense because honestly it sounds stupid as a grown man but I’ve never done…this kind of sex.”

He expects you to laugh or roll your eyes but you don’t, you simply wait for him to empty his mind as he tries to make sense of it all.

“Listen, I got into bdsm on accident,” he puffs out a little air bemusedly, “I didn’t just wake up one day and decide it would be fun to be a kinky control freak but I had a roommate in college who was into the scene and well….it’s a long story for a different day, but since then i’ve only ever known how to operate in a dominant role. I’ve had partners I cared for but i’ve never had a partner I felt more than companionship with, does that make sense? Like outside of scenes, I didn’t feel anything substantial enough to pursue a relationship but…I don’t know what I’m even saying,” he groans in frustration, “I’m not making any sense.”

“I think you’re trying to say you’ve never made love to a woman before and you short circuited for a minute.”

Joshua’s eyes fix on yours in the dark and he laughs at how easily you’ve summerized his rambling. “Yeah,” his eyes flit down to your swollen lips and he smiles softly, “That was a first for me.”

Your eyes dart away from his bashfully. “Was it okay?”

Joshua rolls his eyes to the ceiling, “Are you kidding?” one look at you tells him you are in fact serious and he huffs out a sharp laugh, “Not to be crude - but my balls hurt,” he utters and you snort at his langauge, “I’m serious. I don’t think they’ve ever been so empty.”

You pull the sheet over your face in embarrassment and he tugs it back down, grinning like a fool. “Hey, no hiding,” he chuckles and then looks at you a bit more earnestly, “It was incredible and I think it’s something that I could get used to.”

“Oh, you think so?” you nip at his finger toying at your bottom lip, “Won’t you miss bossing me around?”

Joshua rolls over you so quickly that you have no idea how he’d managed to gather both wrists and pin them above your head. He smirks at the way your lips part in surprise. “I don’t plan on stopping,” he taunts you, rolling his hips against your own, though he’s much sillier and sloppier than if he were to be genuinely offering another round.

The spark of interest in your eyes does not go unnoticed though and Joshua laughs. “Really? You were just asleep!” he pecks your face and pulls back with a pout, “Don’t give me those eyes.”

“Yes, sir.”

His voice goes a little flat. “You’re taunting me.”

“Yes, sir.”

Joshua rolls off to the side and props himself halfway up on the pillows with his eyes closed and like a spring, you automatically roll up next to him, one hand smoothing over his firm chest. His voice is thick with exhaustion and amusement. “What am I going to do with you?”

Propping your chin over his chest, you smile. “Hopefully, filthy and depraved things.”

Joshua winces. “Ouch, sweetheart,” he groans again, furrowing his brows dramatically, “My dick wasn’t ready for that.”

You snort at his response, pressing your forhead into his chest as you both laugh at the stupid comment - this is normal. There’s been this huge wave of new information and resurfacing feelings and having this moment to stop and laugh together over something ridiculous is exactly what’s been needed to remind you that Joshua is your person, he always has been, and no matter what new sides of him you uncover he will always be your Josh.

“I’ll make a deal with you, ok?”

You pick your head up, smiling mischeviously, “I’m listening…”

“Mhm,” he huffs, “I’ve heard that before…”

“Joooossshhhhh,” you whine, shaking him until he pinches your side to make you stop.

He smirks when you squeak and rubs his hands over your side, warming your skin. “I want to take you to breakfast,” you hum along, “And there’s a little weekend market we could check out,” that peaks your interest but you’re wondering what else he has planned, “And if you can make it through the morning, we can play.”

You crinkle your nose, “Oh , it sounds so much dirtier when you say it like that.”

A swift slap on the ass and roll of the eyes is all you get in response but you agree because Joshua wants to take you out on a date and you’re absolutely not turning down that opportunity.

You laze about a talk for a bit longer before he’s forcing you out of bed and into a shower but you’re grateful when your’re clean and tucked into fresh sheets. You spend a while scrolling on your phone while josh reads something so nerdy and scholarly you can’t help but tease him for it and eventually, you can’t hold your eyes open any longer.

When joshua succombs to the strain of heavy eyes as well, he marks his page and sets the book down quietly. He looks at you, curled cutely around his torso, and smiles softly before grabbing his phone off the side table to snap a quick picture. It’s then that he remembers the camera your father gifted you and the bag of purcases in his closet you didn’t get to try on and his eyes light up with a new idea for tomorrow’s scene.

He’s not much of a photographer but it doesn’t take a genius to work an old polaroid camera but it’s late and he has to shove the imagery of you bound and fucked out in the pretty outfits he’d bought you being captured on film before he wakes you up right then and there. Your rest is far more important. You’ll need it.

Moving you just slightly so he can actually lay down is a task but you grumble a bit and then reattach yourself as soon as he’s settled. Kissing your face, Joshua closes his eyes and eventually drifts off to sleep thinking of all the ways he can keep you here in his arms forever.

Of all the ways you��re beginning to redefine vanilla for him.

Three (Final) →

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imabeautifulbutterfly · 3 years ago

Text

Angst Ending

Summary: You give Crosshair a piece of your mind, only for Crosshair to open up.

OS & MS Master List | Main Master List

MAIN STORY | ANGST ENDING PT. 2 | HAPPY ENDING | CRACK FIC ENDING

I was beyond angry now, “HOLD UP!” I shouted to his back, as I stood from my knelt position, Crosshair stopped at the bottom of the ramp, and turned to look at me, “Don’t you want to know why I did it?”

“Childish antics, obviously”

“NO! It’s because you are a relentless pain in everyone’s ass, you are so mean to Wrecker, Hunter and Tech, and all they’ve ever done is be there for you, love you, support you. Wrecker went out of his way to get us all these amazing dog tags, and you did nothing but sneer at him, and mock him. Do you even realize how bad you made him feel? On top of which you don’t even wear yours!”

Hunter’s hand came and rested on my arm, “Let it go, it’s not going to matter to him.”

“No” I pushed Hunter’s hand off, stepping closer to Crosshair, “he needs to hear this. You are such a stuck up, no good, smug, pain in the ass brother, who doesn’t even appreciate what you have. Do you know how rare it is to find people who will have your back no matter what?”

“They’re my family, of course, they’ll have my back”

“Not everyone’s family is like that, mine isn’t. Do you know what they did to me when I told them, I wanted to join the GAR and become a ship mechanic?”

Crosshair didn’t say anything, he just shrugged. None of the guys knew, I always made sure never to talk about my family.

“They said I’d be back in a week, crawling and asking for help, because I couldn’t hack it. I wasn’t smart enough to be a mechanic. I wasn’t smart enough to make it in the GAR. My own mother and father, took all the money I worked years for trying to save, as ‘backpay’ for existing! I was always their good child, always the perfect one, and when I needed them, when I needed their support and love they turned their backs on me! You have the best brothers anyone could ask for and how do you treat them? With contempt and disrespect”

I walked up to Crosshair, “You don’t even know what the word family means! You should be ashamed of how you treat them, how you always treat them. You and I both know, no matter they will always have your back and come back for you. Always! Do you know who would come for me?”

Again Crosshair didn’t say anything, his face was stoic, he just kept his eyes on me.

“NO ONE! That’s who. After I didn’t go back home after I completed my first week, they sent me a letter, I thought they were going to say they were proud of me, that they were sorry. Instead, they asked … no, sorry, they demanded me to make them the beneficiaries of any policy payout the GAR would issue, they said since I would more than likely die in battle, I could do the right thing and make sure they were taken care of in the event of my death. That’s the family I have! A family that has no faith in, that provide no support, and don’t give a tooka’s ass about me.”

“I …”

“Don’t even apologize to me, apologize to them, and you can clean your own bloody room” I brushed past him, making sure to bomb against his shoulder as I walked away.

“Wait, where are you going?” Wrecker shouted

“I’m going to spend the night at my friend’s place, I can’t be around him right now!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Wow, that’s crazy” Padme offered

“Yeah it got a bit out of control and heated, well from my end anyway”

“Good on you, he needed to hear it, he was being an ass”

“I know, sometimes he can’t help it though, he’s snarky because of all the crap they put him through on Kamino”

“I don’t buy that, look at Wrecker, Hunter and Tech, they all went through stuff too, but they aren’t acting like him.”

“Yeah, but he went through it ten times worse then they did, the guys told me some of the stuff the Kaminoans and even the Regs put him through, it was pretty bad. Constant beatings, psychological conditioning, physical conditioning, honestly I’m surprised he’s as normal as he is”

“I had no idea”

“No one really knows what those clones go through, because no one talks about it. Damn it!”

“What?”

“Now I just feel guilty”

“Do you hear that?”

We remained silent for a sec when I heard a muffled ding coming from my clothes in the other room.

“My comm, maybe we got an assignment, I’ll be back”

“Hello?”

“Where are you?” Crosshair’s snarky voice came over the comm

“Why do you wanna know? Did we get an assignment?”

“No”

“Then leave me alone”

“Wait …”

“What?”

“I just … I need to talk to you”

“I don’t want to talk”

“Please”

That’s the first time I’ve ever heard Crosshair say please in the three years I had been working with them. I was speechless, it took me a minute to answer him.

“I’m at Senator Amidala’s apartment”

“That’s your friend?”

“Yes”

“No wonder, you didn’t like that picture, or the jokes we make”

“You mean the jokes you make”

“Right … Can I stop by and talk to you?”

“I need to ask her if that’s okay, hold on…”

I left the comm in her guest room with my clothes, and walked over to the couch, I still couldn’t believe Crosshair reached out, he never did.

Padme was holding her mug about to take a sip when she saw my face, “Everything ok?”

“Padme, would you mind if Crosshair comes by”

“Crosshair comm-ed?”

“Yeah, he wants to talk”

“Do you want to talk?”

“Not really”

“Then tell him no”

“I did, but then he said, please”

“So…”

“He’s never said please, not once in the past three years I have been with them, have I ever heard him say please. To anyone.”

“If you’re sure, then I’ll make myself scarce when he comes”

“Thanks”

“However, if you need help or he ends up being an ass, I’m right here”

“You’re the best” I gave her the biggest hug possible.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It wasn’t long before there was a knock at the door, I answered the door still wearing the pyjays Padme leant me for the night. I opened to see Crosshair standing there, he didn’t have the top part of his armour on, there was a still a little bit of glitter hanging to the edges of his hair line, and some still stuck to his blacks.

I motioned for him to walk in.

“Nice … outfit”

“It’s a my sleepwear, shorts and a tank. You said you wanted to talk, so …” I motioned for him to talk.

“Can we sit?”

“No”

Crosshair nodded, “I’m sorry”

“I told you, don’t apologize to me, apologize to your brothers”

“I did, I spent the rest of the day, apologizing for everything. However, there’s one thing that you said today that you were wrong about”

“Really? Enlighten me.”

“The dog tag. Yes, I mocked Wrecker, but that’s only because … it … do you know what dog tags are used for?”

“To identify someone…” I shrugged.

“At death. Wrecker, giving me the dog tag, made me think, he didn’t have faith me to come back”

“Oh… I …”

“But it doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate it, which is why I had installed into my cuirass”

“Oh… I’m … I’m sorry, Crosshair, I … I didn’t know”

“It’s okay. Let’s face it 99% of the time, I’m just an ass, I know Hunter told you about what I went through on Kamino, I could say that was my excuse, but it’s not. Not when you have been through just as much, if not worse.”

“What are you talking about, I haven’t been through worse”

“Tech sliced into your medical records, we saw the reports for all the emergency visits to the med centre”

I swallowed at that, the anger that had been there hours before was rekindled in a matter of seconds, “How. Dare. You! If I wanted you to know what happened to me, I would have told you guys. You had no right!” I can’t believe they saw everything I’ve been through, the only person that knew about the abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents was Padme.

“I know. Which is why I thought you should know”

“Oh so now you’re the good guy!”

“No. Not at all. That’s not … Sweetness, I know how it feels to have someone else reveal something deep and personal about you. I just wanted to say that I appreciate you never treated me differently, even after learning what happened. You never treated me with pity, you always treated me with respect, and never tried to pressure me to talk about it. I just wanted to say thank you”

I was shocked, he’s never said thank you, much less please, and yet today I heard both “Oh … No problem, Crosshair.”

“You have to know, sweetness, we would come back for you” Crosshair stepped closer to me, “I’d come back for you.”

“Why?”

“Because … “ Crosshair bit his lip and looked away, “because you know why”

“No, I really don’t, everything you’ve ever done, has only shown to me that you don’t like me, you tolerate me, but that’s it.”

“It’s not that, Sweetness, I … I care about you” I didn’t say anything, I mean, he couldn’t be saying what I thought he was saying. It was Crosshair, after all he doesn’t do emotions, but then today was a day for first, so… ”I have since the moment you stepped on to the ship, I was mean and kept my distance, because I knew if I got close to you, I would drown in my love for you. I’m barely treading water, as it is, Sweetness.”

“You love me?” My breath hitched, was this really happening?

“I do” Crosshair took another step towards me.

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why do you love me? Give me specifics”

I didn’t want to admit it, but I was hopeful. I really hoped this wasn’t some kind of joke, because ever since I met him, my heart beat for Crosshair. There were times when he was sweet, when he would cover me with a blanket, when he thought no one was looking, and then gently brush the hair off my face, never told him I was a light sleeper and whenever he did that it woke me up. When he would make me tea, cause he knew how much I hated caf. There were times when he would sit with me in the cockpit when I was feeling down, and never force me to talk about what I was feeling, just kept me company. Maybe he was telling the truth? Oh please, let him be telling the truth.

“The way you look after my brothers, protecting them … even from me, how easily you get along with them, how you keep trying with me. I love when your eyes lock on mine, and make me feel like we’re the only ones in the universe. When you sat by my side when I was injured, Tech told me you did that.”

“Let me ask you something would you have even talked about this if I didn’t yell at you, in front of everyone?”

“That’s not …”

“Then why? Why at this moment? At this point in time, are you deciding to tell me about what you feel? Are you hoping that I’ll just let your past behaviour go, simply because you told me you loved me?”

“No. I’m hoping …” Crosshair’s face looked pained, his face was flinching, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have … I know you’ll never forgive me, I’m just gonna go”

Crosshair turned and started heading towards the door, could I just let him walk out? If I did then I’d have to switch squads, there’s no way he would feel comfortable with me being, not after all of this.

“Wait”

Crosshair kept his back to me, I could see his shoulders rising and falling in quick succession.

“Tell me, please, why you decided to tell me?”

“I wanted to be able to tell you at least once”

“At least once?”

Crosshair turned to look at me, “Let’s face it, Sweetness, you probably won’t want to be around me after today”

“You honestly think I would just run away?”

“I don’t …”

“I just needed space, I’m not leaving” I heard a comm started buzzing, “Is that you?”

“No” it was all Crosshair said, I walked over to the guest room, answering the comm.

“Vod’ika?”

“Wrecker?”

“Yeah”

“What’s up?”

“Listen, Crosshair learned about your crush on him, it accidentally slipped out when I was trying to defend you, anyway … he’s trying to get back at you for his room. Whatever he tells you, don’t listen. It’s a prank. I’m so sorry, vod’ika.”

“Wrecker… are … are you sure?”

“Yes, please forgive me”

I fought back the warmth building up in my throat, “It was an accident, it’s fine. Thanks for letting me know, Wrecker”

“You okay?”

“I’ll … I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay.”

“Okay, bye vod’ika”

I turned off the comm, I couldn’t believe Crosshair could be this cruel, there was no way, right? I mean, yeah he was a jerk, but he wouldn’t … not this cruel … I walked back to the door, Crosshair was leaning against the door, “Was that true?”

“Was what true?”

“Wrecker said you found out about my crush and this was all a giant prank, was he right?”

Crosshair’s face was stoic, a smirk appearing on his lips, “What’s the matter, Sweetness, can’t take a joke?”

“You …” My eyes were welling up with tears, how could he be so cruel? I looked away from him, nodding my head, swallowing the warmth rising in my throat, “Thank …” my voice cracked, I cleared my throat, “Thank you, Crosshair”

The smirk fell away from his face, did he push too far? He didn’t mean for her to cry, he didn’t mean to see her in pain. As much as he wanted to tell Sweetness the truth, as much as he wanted to open his heart to her, he just couldn’t, he couldn’t actually reveal what was deep in his heart. He couldn’t be the vulnerable, even with Sweetness. He had to still his voice before he opened it to speak, seeing her break, was making him break.

“What are you thanking me for?”

“For helping me make a decision”

Crosshair swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat, why were his eyes beginning to feel warm? Why was there wetness building in his eyes? “What decision?”

“I’m going to talk to Hunter and ask for a transfer. You obviously did all of this to get rid of me. So thank you, for bringing to my attention, how much you want me to leave.”

“Sweetness…” Crosshair stepped closer to her, he pushed it too far. That’s not what he intended, he thought she would have pushed back, like she normally did; it would have led them to having their usual banter and he would have been able to tell her the truth.

“Thank you for stopping by Crosshair” I kept my voice steady, trying to hide the emotion that was trying to escape.

“Sweetness, don’t”

“Don’t, don’t what? I’m a giant joke to you. Right? I mean if I was anything else to you, you wouldn’t have been so cruel.”

“I’m sorry”

“No. You’re not”

“No. I am” Crosshair closed the distance between us, “Sweetness, it was a joke. A joke to hide what I really felt. Please, don’t leave me. Please.”

“I … I don’t know how to believe you, Crosshair. I’m sorry, but I don’t”

Crosshair leaned closer, his lips pressed against mine, I pulled back quickly and aggressively, “What are you doing?” I seethed out.

“Let me show you I mean it, please”

“No! You can’t kiss me, and expect that will solve everything!” My voice raised several volumes, I heard Padme shifting in the hallway.

“I know” Crosshair looked away and stepped back “I am sorry, sweetness. It was a joke, but I imagined this going completely different”

“What? How?”

“I thought we would banter, and then I’d be able to reveal that it was a joke but not really. Sweetness, I do love you.”

“Says a lot when that’s how you treat someone you love” Padme’s voice came from the hallway.

Crosshair, hadn’t heard the Senator come down the hall, he looked from Sweetness to the scowl on the Senator’s face. How could he have been so stupid to think this was the way to tell Sweetness the truth?

“Sweetness, I’m sorry” Crosshair stepped further back from her, he had ruined it. He ruined everything. He always did. She was going to leave and nothing he said was going to make it up to her. Well maybe, nothing. “I know I screwed this all up, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Sweetness. But I wasn’t lying before, I’ll always come for you, Sweetness. If you transfer and get into trouble, I don’t care how, when, where, what or with who, I’ll always come for you. I’ll find you. I promise. I won’t abandon you. I’ll never abandon you, like your family did.”

“Crosshair …”

“No. I know I screwed up. I know I did. I will make it up to you. However long it takes, I will make it up to you.” Crosshair’s voice was barely above a whisper when he wanted to say the next part, he only wanted Sweetness to hear, “Please, don’t give up on me.”

I couldn’t say anything, my lip was trembling, Crosshair was starting to become a blur in front of me, as the tears began to well up in my eyes. I felt Padme’s arm wrap around my shoulder.

“I think you’ve done enough, you should leave” Padme’s voice was strict and left no room for argument.

Crosshair wanted to scowl back at the Senator, but seeing Sweetness’s face glistening with fresh tears, made him think twice before talking back to her friend, he’d hurt her enough.

“Sweetness…” Crosshair took a step forward, he wanted to wipe the tears away, he wanted to fix this.

Padme didn’t hesitate, she stood in front of me, “You need to leave. Now.”

Crosshair looked from Padme to me, “I’m sorry,” Crosshair didn’t wait for a reply he left. As soon as he left I broke down in Padme’s arms.

“It’s okay, sweetie, I got you” Padme rubbed my back as she helped me over to the couch, holding me. My heart was breaking for so many different reasons, leaving my found family, leaving brothers who I had grown to love as my own, and even that snarky pain in my ass sniper, I was really going to miss him most of all.

MAIN STORY | ANGST ENDING PT. 2 | HAPPY ENDING | CRACK FIC ENDING

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jean-does-not-have-a-horseface · 4 years ago

Text

Hot Chocolate (Birthday/Christmas Special)

Summary: Levi is bound to spend this birthday on his own, seeing that you're halfway across the globe as an exchange uni student. What he doesn't know though is that you have planned a huge surprise for him. NSFW 18+

Notes: sorry for any mistake you guyss please enjoy this

Pairing: Levi/ Reader

Tags: f l uff, nsfw

Warnings: nsfw, the sexies

Disclaimer: I do not own the gif, I simply found it on Pinterest.

White heavy cream fell fluidly out of the carton it was stored, squeezed by Levi's calloused hand and into the small metallic pot that he rested his other hand onto. The mixture, an aromatic, dark brown hot chocolate, lightened in color upon a few stirs of his tool. Slowly with his hand he disposed of the empty carton in the recycling bin, making sure to wipe any stray droplet of white on the counter.

He blinked as his mind went blank, forgetting the next step of the recipe but only momentarily. His thoughts once again traveled to what troubled him, but he continued with his stirring in fear of burning the beverage he was set on making. With his teeth sinking dangerously at the tip of his tongue what he needed clicked in his head. Corn flour. A quorter of a cup.

He didn't bother tasting the mixture as he lowered the fire of the stove to the minimum, he simply marched to the corner built in cupboard, hands searching furiously for the porcelain vase that held this oh so precious corn flour that would act as the stabilizing factor to his hot chocolate beverage.

Seconds later he brought the fire to an halt absurdly, never ceasing with his stirring careful as to not have the mixture stick to the pot. He didn't like his chocolate adorned with burnt flakes or the taste they brought to his mouth neither did he like cleaning the burnt pot before having to pop it in the washing machine. As his hands reached for the cups he had set beside the stove beforehand to his alchemy, he helped the thick mixture in with a spoon.

The cups were immediately transfered inside the over; an attempt to keep them from any predatory fly that could have entered the apartment before Levi had a chance to realise and in addition keeping them sheltered as they reached a drinkable temperature. Levi threw the pot into the sink next, sighing to himself as he grabbed his thick latex gloves and out them on his hands. With a twist of his hand at the handle the watered started running on his gloves hands pot making him grab his steel wool.

His hand came to his forehead, wiping some sweat as he sighed again, hanging his head low as he gritted his teeth in frustration. His eyes squinted in anger, his hands dug into the inox of his sink and his heart sink dangerously low as he felt the room run cold due to the sun quickly setting behind the horizon.

Why had he made that chocolate, it beat him. The two of you hadn't spoken in at least two days and he liked -or rather chose- to blame it on your busy studying schedule, rather than the fight the two of you had over that call two nights ago. He had been to angry to admit he was acting like a brat to you, he had been too proud to simply say that he wanted your attention, instead he had resolved his anger into grumpiness, causing your overworked mind to snap.

You were gone as an exchange student in Japan for too long and both your busy schedules and the enormous time difference had dug their ways into Levi's life very negatively. Before you he had never lonely when he was alone, but now, now that he had gotten a taste of what it was to be with you, now that you had been ripped away from him from so long, he definitely felt lonely. And angry. And it killed him that he was almost on time for your arranged video chat, when you didn't even show any sign of being in existence still.

It made his boil though, by now, it must have been the 26th in Japan and you had spent your day ignoring him, not even bothering to open his message. Had he been so cruel to you while admitting he wanted you here with him? Was it that you didn't have enough decency to let him you know you were alright? That was what he simply wanted to know, in the end.

Sighing again he ripped the gloves off his hands and grabbed his phone. His fingertip touching the button provided him immediate access to his homescreen and he quickly entered Instagram dragging the homepage down a couple of times to let it load any new activity. Internally he knew, he would have been glad if he was to see a story or a post by you, any sign that you were alright would do for him.

Of course, as if on cue to shake him of his miserable thoughts his phone rang, buzzing in his palm. His eyes fell on the small window the revealed the caller id to him. It was Erwin, naturally, as he always used to shower him with phone calls on his birthday even up until the moment he was at his front door. Levi didn't missed out on those signs of affection, it's was quite the opposite really. He cherished them deeply. Seeing how much of an impact he had on his friends' lives moved him whether he showed it or not.

And so, while holding back his saddened sigh he picked up the phone, greeting his friend through greeted teeth.

"Hey Levi, uhm, I kind of need you at the moment, am I interrupting anything?"

"No," Levi spoke, biting painfully on the inside of his cheek in an attempt to hold himself back from sprinting out on his frustration. Of course Erwin could try and hide behind his finger, Levi knew that much. The blond was aware he wasn't interrupting anything, but he was still kind enough to ask; he always was sappily kind when it came to such sensitive subjects.

"Great look, I'm on route twenty two, fifth exit, I'm out of gas can you please come to my rescue and bring me some?" Erwin paused for a moment and then proceeded to mumble through an overly amused breath "I'm sorry I'm doing this to you tonight."

"Did you take your father's run down car again?" Levi questioned.

"No... yes. I'm sorry Levi I felt like I wanted to drive his car tonight. I shouldn't have to drag you here too, I'm sorry."

"No it's fine," Levi bit back, hissing at Erwin's unhealthy habit of wanting to drive his father's antique due to its sentimental worth. But then again, he reminded himself he wasn't in a place to judge. "Give me 15 and I'll be there."

Fidgeting his fingers on the counter without throwing a second look he came in contact with his car keys. The familiar jiggling sound gritted through the air proudly as Levi pierced his finger inside the key loop, finally pressing the keys steady to his palm. With another grunt, he hang up the phone, bringing the device to the palm of his hand once again.

His mind begged him to open his texts with you again -his initial goal ever since the moment he opened his phone- just to stare at the screen or at his unopened text, his insides begged to boil with concern at the process but he figured had all night to do so, prolonging his misery could definitely wait now that Erwin was in need. And thus he simply marched to the hanger behind his front door, eager much to quickly get a hold of his warmest jacket before having to step out in the cold apartment corridor and consequentially outside in the cold December weather.

___

You forced Hange to suppress her giggles as you slipped the metallic key inside the lock to your shared apartment with Levi. With an exaggerated jump though Hange let out another scream fill the air, ignoring yet another playful rasped gaze you consequentially threw her. Laughter bubbled from the both of you as you kept on locking eyes, amused by the upcoming execution of your plan.

The plan was simple really. You had Erwin call Levi for any emergency he could come up with and only when he left the house you and Hange would sneak in, light up the aromatic candles you spent weeks picking. You would make some hot buttered rum and light the fireplace to warm up the house. Then, Hange would leave right when Erwin would call you to announce that Levi was on his way back and you'd wait for him with the biggest smile on your face.

"Okay now let's see how much time we have." You said and rubbed your hands together to warm them up. Leaning with one hand over the wall you moved the heel of your left foot on top of your right one, pressing down enough so you could wiggle your foot out of the shoe. Doing the same for your other foot, you removed your jacket and hung it behind the door.

"Erwin said it will take Levi about twenty minutes to get to him, they shall spend about ten to fifteen minutes fueling his car, but he promised he'd try his best to delay Levi if we need to. And then add another ten minutes for him to get back." Hange spoke, fixing her glasses onto her nose.

"You think I have enough time to take a bath?"

Making sure to slip her shoes off after you, Hange nodded in your direction and proceeded to set her heavy backpack on the couch. One by one she took the candles and a lighter out, eventually smirking to herself as she tried to come up with a plan on how to neatly set them around the living room.

"Hange!" Can you put those in the bedroom?" You spoke, ripping your shirt off of you before your finger came to graze the side of your mouth as your mind sunk in your thoughts.

"Ha!" Hange huffed "as if you're even going to make it to the bedroom!"

Your cheeks burned as she spoke, eyes widening slightly at how your mind told you she was completely right. Of course you and Levi wouldn't make it to the bedroom at least until later tonight. It had been months since you had last seen him and it was his birthday, you wouldn't even be able to rip yourself off of his arms. Thus you simply threw a mellow smile at Hange as you sprint to the kitchen checking to see if you had all the ingredients you'd need to make your choice of drink.

Coincidentally, you opened the oven and your eyes immediately fell on what was inside. Your expression softened as two grey toned cups shone in your orbs, the smell they emitted deliciously filling your nostrils. You smiled to your self as you thought about how your lover didn't miss out on making your traditional Christmas drink.

It was unbelievable how kind hearted Levi was, in contrary to what people thought of him, you thought. Most of the times -and simply because he didn't allow otherwise- the only thing people who weren't close to him saw was a cold demeanor, a sharp tongue and a foul mouth. It all would be too ironic if they knew how Levi was behind closed doors. Taking notice of small everyday details, sticking to his beloved routine, cherishing moments with his loved ones, remembering everything most people would ignore about others and showing his love in the sweetest yet most Levi way were only a few of his virtues.

Of course he wouldn't miss on making your favorite strawberry scented thick hot chocolate, even if you had spent the last few days not speaking to him, even if as of now he remained ignorant as to why. You assumed he believe it was about that ridiculous fight and you could admit you purposefully riled him just enough for him not to expect to see you. You were sure, seeing he had shown a previous liking in surprises like this, that his jaw would hit the floor when he'd see you.

Guilt rushed through you at the thought of you making him feel miserable even in the slightest, but Hange couldn't just have you standing there, sulking in your anxiety over how things had led up to this moment. If you wanted to make it in time for when Levi came home you'd have to rush. Hange insisted on shooing you out of the kitchen and into the bathroom, urging you to act fast, before Levi came. Sensing she was right, you settled for running to retrieve a new pair of underwear and a clean towel before jumping in the shower.

Stretching your arms to close the curtain behind you as you stepped on the white marble tiles you twisted the faucet handle to the right, letting a deep sigh escape from the depths of your chest as the hot water started running.

___

The sound of keys jiggling together filled what should have been an empty apartment, making Levi's arrival known only to you who stood inside the kitchen. He stepped inside a few seconds later, ripping his shoes off of his feet before slipping into his fuzzy slippers.

His hands immediately reached for the wipes and rubbing alcohol he kept on a stand right next to the door, silently grabbing a wipe and coating it in the strong smelling disinfectant before bringing it to his phone and keys. He spent a good minute cleaning the items meticulously only stopping when he felt satisfied to set them on the stand. He took a step to turn around with his goal to walk to the kitchen and heat up his got chocolate. Judging by the time he could still try to reach out to you before the day ended.

With a quick glance around the room, though he found himself freezing in his spot.

"Great, now I'm so shit mad I'm seeing fucking things." Levi announced -seemingly only to his own self- the moment he laid his gray orbs upon you.

"No Levi, you're not seeing things baby."

Standing up for your seat on the kitchen table you shot him an adorning look; your eyes squinted and your cheeks puffed up, coated in a sheer scarlett color. You silently watched as his eyes grew impossibly wide, flickering between you and each lit candle that showered the room in plenty of romantic golden light.

His legs were slightly trembling, his knees going weak at the sudden need to intake all of what was unraveling before him, but with his heart hammering in his whole body he only managed to part his lips before even beginning to thing if what to utter.

"Merry Christmas and happy birthday my Vee." You smiled again, mouthing the tooth rotting sweet nickname as you walked to him with open arms and a longing look on your face.

He wasted no time, even if his head was starting to buzz in confusion and uncertainty, he bucked in his stand before sprinting towards you. His hands quickly wrapped under your bum, lifting you up on him while prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. With painfully squinted eyes his nose nuzzled up between your neck and your chest, inhaling your magnetising aura sharply as he span you around. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, embracing his head in a loving manner as you couldn't supress your bubbling giggles.

His strong grip on you wasn't ceasing, not even for a moment as he began mouthing his questions; he didn't even care that his voice was muffled by your own form.

"How- I mean when?" He spoke and only hugged you tigher onto him.

"Well, you thought I'd ever miss this day?" You placed a kiss on the top of his hairline. "I was supposed to be here days ago but my flight got delayed, so Erwin and and Hange came up with this surprise plan."

Levi's hands loosened their grip on you slowly was you tried to slide down his body carefully; this breathtaking moment could only ever last for so long, Levi figured as he set you down. Kissing you was the next task he assigned to himself, but it could only happen after he got a good look at your face.

God, he had missed you so much.

So many months had passed since the last time he had been graced with seeing you this close to him and in the moment what he was witnessing almost felt too unreal. Your tender eyes looked into his with adoration and warmth, your chest dwelled with tainted breaths as your hands slowly came to cup his sharp face.

"I'm sorry I wasn't responding at all, I really had to leave to go to the airport after that silly fight we had, I couldn't just tell you I was coming." You said and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. "Although I was really temped to."

Levi wrapped his arms around you again and hugged you to his chest- this time he missed on levitating you if the ground, even more fiercely than he had done before. He simply huffed in amusement in the crook of your neck, mouthing a sole 'thank you' against you.

The next kiss you shared was maniac and passionate in nature. His lips didn't just graze over yours, the engulfed them. He sucked onto your tender flesh as if his life depended on it and you couldn't get enough. You found yourself grabbing his shirt, then running your hands through the short spiky hair of his undercut.

His slick hands cupped your own face as he pulled back only to catch his breath for a moment.

"I've missed you much I can't even be patient to talk with you."

"Me too" you announced, a hazed look masking your face.

You took a few leading steps to the couch, careful not to disturb the candles in the corners of the coffee table that before it, much afraid of setting everything on fire in your despairate state to have him. Your mouth launched feverishly onto his as you threw him onto the gray sofa.

Levi didn't fight it, not even for a moment. His tongue shoved inside your mouth, rolling around yours, slurping and cherishing each corner of your mouth as he took small intakes of breath through his nose from time to time. His tender hands loosened their grip on the sides of your face, the action eliciting a small whine from your occupied mouth but to was quickly gulped down by the movement of his lips that came to suck on your tongue.

You felt his fingertips travel down your clothed body, skillfully sinking underneath your shirt before restlessly traveling back up taking the cloth away with them. You only broke away from each other for a singular moment, breaths hitching and tinting the air around you, so much that you could almost ignore the way your heart sped it's throbbing in your ears. His hips bucked longingly int you from underneath, the friction already driving you crazy.

As his hands shoved longingly inside your pants you let another moan slip from the depths of your throat, though it was guickly muffled by your lover's mouth attaching on yours , making you melt into him. You felt his fingers graze ever so slightly over your still clothed crotch, painfully flicking their way through your flesh.

Roughly, he pulled back, detaching his want body away from yours while fixing his gray eyes into you. He didn't bother speaking as he tagged at the sides of his shirt, ripping the article of clothing away from him in such quick movements, as if it was the only thing getting in his way from getting close to you.

With hanger widening his eyes he stared at you again, prompting you to put your hands into him, to feel him all the while he run his hands into your form. He failed in exploring your body as he had wished though, with a shagged breath he only managed to bring you close, in a proximity that didn't even allow a kiss to be exchanged. You simply nuzzled into the crook of his bare neck, rubbing the tip of your nose in calm circles against him as you breathed hot huffs of air onto his skin.

His back was still so muscular and ripped despite his skin being so overly smooth under your tender touch, the more small trails you rubbed over him the more he sighed in greed and over exaggerated longing. Licking his lips with a constipated look on his face, he placed a tender kiss on your collarbone before traveling back up, just to teasingly rub his bottom lip over yours.

Breaking the kiss you grabbed his hand, bringing his palm close you your face. You teasingly picked his pointer finger, making sure to scratch the inside of his hand with your nails as you brought the digit to your mouth. His mouth, running ahead of his own desire to stay quiet, blurted lewd moans at your soft suckling and with all blood boiling in his body he was unable to even think about chocking down on his sounds.

He was on his back before he even knew it. It seemed like squirming was the way to go now, right underneath you as you placed kisses all over his chest and torso. With slow hands you reached for his pants, fidgeting with his zipper and buttons before wiggling your arms inside the dark denim.

Quickly, any remaining article of clothing was discharged thrown anywhere on the floor; you could worry about that later but right now you couldn't seem to be able to pay attention on anything else than each other. You had missed him, he had missed you, there was only so much that the two of you could process momentarily.

It was the high of the moment mixed with your scent that pulled him even even more as you craddled him to your chest while never ceasing the bobbing of your hips. The kisses that he sucked in you, sped up the beating of your heart against his as soft skin mingled with your own. Even that was painful to him, the extend to which he had missed you didn't leave any space for him to pull just an inch away from you, as if he wouldn't ever be able to get enough.

"My Levi, I've missed you so much." You spoke with hitched breaths, lips grazing his earlobe ever so slightly.

Levi allowed him self to eventually grunt in response letting harsh huffs of air through his nostrils while trying to guide your hips to an alt.

"Keep talking like that and I'm not going to last." He spoke, his fingering digging into your thighs to put an halt to your movements.

It didn't work -he should have known it wouldn't work- because you only slid down on him longingly and fast, sending his mind in the familiar pre orgasmic haze he so wished to momentarily be freed from.

"Who said," you paused only for another tainted moan to slip outside your lips "I want you to last?" You placed a kiss on the skin behind his ear, careful not to suck and create any loud noise that close to his eardrum.

Levi only threw his head back, his hips starting to work onto a hard, quick rhythm against you. He trembled under your words and every deep thrust, every feel of your insides on his throbbing length was only contributing to the build up in his abdomen.

He hair, sweaty as it was, stuck on his forehead as it dripped, but you paid no mind in his salty taste as you kissed your way all over his forehead and cheeks, nose and jawline, trailing your tongue on any sharp edge of him.

Your legs were shaking now and much to your best wishes you struggled with your thrusting onto him. You only managed to gyrate your hips, earning another moan of him as you ceased your movements, sweat dripping off of your own forehead as if mimicking his antics.

His hands nearly slipped from your thighs as wet as they were but he managed to get the message you were trying to convey; with jaded breaths he started thrusting maniacally from underneath you, damaging through you as pleasure dueled in both your bodies.

Yearning splashed all over his face and his grunts only got louder. Your foreheads collided as you cupped his face, noses nuzzling up, eyes staring deep into eachother.

Gentle. His ultimate indulge into you was gentle and earth shattering at the same time. His veins popped in white hot pleasure and his chest boiled with numerous erotic moans as his abdomen screamed throughout him, leaving him with barely enough time to mechanically reach just to pull out. His head hung low onto your collarbone while his head throbbed, unable to come down from his high just yet. He couldn't even move his eyes to see you, although he knew by listening to your panted breaths that you were in the same position as him.

Pushing him back to lay down on the couch, you kissed all over his face for the thousandth time tonight.

"I'd never ever miss this important day, you know." You smiled, pressing your lips to the tip of his nose.

"It's not that special, brat" he spoke shyly as he cooed into your face rubbing his upper lip to your cheek. You recognised the action; it was a habit of his to coo in such way, any overly soft thing grazing his top lip indulged him in endless calmness and you hummed to yourself in amusement to the feeling.

"I missed you."

"I know. You said that." He huffed, his lips puckering to hide the playful demeanor behind his next words. "But I don't think I heard it right, mind repeating it?" His fingers trapped your nose between them and swayed your head from side to side before moving to your naked back to press you closer to him him once again.

"You're such a tease. I love you Levi."

"I love you too," He blurred with eyes that burned into yours and proceeded to place a sweet kiss onto your sweat drenched hair "so much, you brat."

Taglist go off: @ackermans-freedom-inc @hawkssnugget @berrijam @levisbrat25 @nobody-knows-anymore @callmepromise

#levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #LEVI ACKERMAN #levi #levi ackerman imagine #levi snk #levi attack on titan #snk x reader #snk #AoT #aot x reader #snk imagines #levi imagine #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader #Attack on Titan Imagine #attack on titan #aot season 4 #snk season 4

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albino-whumpee · 3 years ago

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Safe

Words are hard for me too at the moment, so I’m just gonna go ahead and half explain half narrate this. Didn´t expect it to be this long tho. Writing Sann´s point of view it´s always so fun! Hope you like it.

Taglist: @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @giggly-evil-puppy @cowboysrappin @haro-whumps @burtlederp @neuro-whump @comfortforthepain @whumps-the-word @whole-and-apart-and-between @broken-horn @ashintheairlikesnow @rosesareviolentlyread @starnight-whump @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @as-a-matter-of-whump @whumpasaurus101 @grizzlie70 @twistedcaretaker

CW// PTSD, non con and dub con (slightly NS*W), night terrors, pet whump, negative actions towards stimming, conditioning and deconditioning, slavery, dehumanization. creepy whumpers, homelessness, chronic exhaustion and eating disorders, kind of fucky and creepy at the end. Be careful! Ask to tag.

After coming to their home, Sann had to relearn many things that had become his standard. For example, no, don’t stretch your neck expecting a collar. No, you don’t need to go down on your knees to apologize. No, you don’t need to sit on the floor and lay your head on someone’s knees to eat. No, we don’t want you to thank us with your body.

It took several meals on the floor until he was confident enough to go up on a chair. Many nights of gently guiding his hands and body to himself and Albus sleeping on the bed sofa in the studio for a month, and bluntly be explained so he understood that someone sleeping with him doesn’t mean they want sex. It takes many words to let him know mistakes aren’t punished.

And it takes a lot to tell him he won’t wear a collar because he’s not a pet to them.

So Sann is confused about Albus. Why he not a pet but Al is is? He’s not blind to the comfort they give him but Albus doesn’t receive from his owner. Or at least, not like his. With Claude’s friend treating his throat. Even when he has noticed Albus is easily tired and has a very weak immune system. Maybe because he eats so little…

He slowly pieces it together and finally, gets to a conclusion.

He’s charity.

Save the poor abused pet from his sadistic owner. Allow him to feel loved and safe and he will be forever grateful to you, the nicest person ever. Then, maybe, if everything goes right, he could go away and do his own life. But Albus is hers. Albus doesn’t need charity. He already has everything he needs and he’s not mistreated. There’s no reason for him to go anywhere because she’s sure to provide that.

He feels grateful, enormously so, but there’s something that rubs him wrong about it.

He thinks it like that for a while. After Albus and him get comfortable enough around each other to sleep together. When he starts nuzzling up to him and smiles whenever he wakes up with him at his side. Even if its nightmares he has to hold him tight to avoid him injuring himself. After he comes home from work and thanks him for helping him with chores with a little peck on the cheek, because he’s so tired he feels like he might close his eyes and sleep an eternity. Promising to make it up to him in the weekend.

On Sunday, Claude is holding Zarai’s hand. After a while of being MIA, he showed up on the door and stayed with them. Goes to work but Sann isn’t quite sure he’s going to Robert’s mansion. He smells different too. Lost in thought Sann hears Albus call for him. Hands him a cone of ice cream and pulls down his wallet. His Pet ID on his fingers. A plastic rectangle that allows them to go mostly anywhere without their owner. Sann has seen him show it to the cashier in the supermarket enough times.

Sann snatches the blue card before the other can say anything and giggles at his face. So used to see him with glasses already, the guy on the photo feels like he’s missing something. Albus scuffs, nags at him to take out his. The brunette does and sees a rounder version of himself. Shorter hair and the scar on his neck visible.

Albus passes his thumb over it. Silent and gives it back a second later.

“We will change it sometime” Albus promises staring at the street before looking at him “It still has his father’s name on it”

“To change it to Ma’am’s right?” Sann signs with a hint of discomfort on his eyes. Albus doesn’t respond. He goes deadly silent. A slight blush appearing on the tip of his ears. “Al?” Sann calls. Signing white.

“Yeah, yeah… you’re right” He sighs.

“Got gloomy there, something wrong?”

The albino smiled “Yeah, they’re leaving us behind” he pointed at the couple crossing the street. The woman waving at them.

Al stood up, the deep black coat making a whoosh. “Race!” He yelled suddenly. Sann followed him a quick smile appearing on his face. They got there just when the traffic light was turning yellow.

Albus, almost like expecting Sann would try to get across before it turned red, like he did when they went to buy groceries together, stopped him by holding his hand and pulling. The light went red as the boy stumbled back into Albus. Sann pouted, wanting to say they would’ve made it when Albus let out an honest laughter.

“You never care about the street lights. Can’t have you running off like that” Albus said squeezing a bit before letting go so he could use his hands.

“Always so thoughtful!” He signed, sarcasm so blatant in his face.

“You would have gotten ran over ten times if I didn’t!” The albino followed. “It’s safer that way too” he thought to himself. The dream of the highway very present on his mind.

The light turned green eventually and so, they crossed the street holding hands. Not letting go even as they got to the restaurant where the other couple was waiting and got guided to their table by a young lady after they showed their IDs. Smoking area for Zarai and Claude. Once they were settled, small talk continued.

It was so different to Sann’s memories of going out with Robert.

Laying his head on his lap in a private corner. Waiting for him to let him lick the food from his fingers. Sometimes, waiters giving him a little pat on the head or somewhere else. Depended if he was sitting or bent over the table. Very different to when Robert took him to Jefferson’s and had the other pet, the girl, on his lap. Him wearing a harness with handcuffs on his back. Moved on his knees at the tug of the leash on Jefferson’s hand. Harshly setting his head between the man´s pants who said “bon appetite” with a grin.

Sann closed his eyes for a moment. Savoring the pasta on his mouth.

I´m not there. I´m not with him anymore.

I´m with them. I´m here.

I´m here.

Sann forced himself to open his eyes. A bit of him afraid he wouldn´t see any of them.

Only his Master with his sharp smirk and the black and golden collar on his hand.

But he opened them to find Zarai and Albus talking about work and Claude begging them to talk about anything else but their jobs for one night, please. The albino stretched to hold his hand with that sweet smile of his. He replied with another smile.

I´m safe.

An hour later, the moon hanged up high in the sky as they came out of the restaurant. Albus was a bit green, holding a paper bag with the rest of his dish.

“Maybe a kid’s meal would’ve been better” Zarai said passing a hand over his face.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I was sure I would finish it this time” he said in a small voice. Sann saw him struggle too early for that to be true.

“You don’t have to force it, Hun. We can always have it wrapped up for later. Don’t worry ok?” she reassured him.

Albus just nodded. Saying a small “yes, ma’am” under his breath. He had gained some weight since Zarai bought him but it wasn’t enough. Albus had told him he had tried to eat more when he learnt Zarai was worried about him not gaining weight. It had smacked his face later, getting so sick he couldn’t move away from the bathroom for two days.

As they waited for the car, Albus saw a couple of vagabonds and their dog. A sign and a can at their feet. The kid was staring at his bag quietly.

A deep inhale and Albus took out his wallet. Put almost all of it into the bag and closed it. A few steps and he was crouching in front of them.

Sann had stayed back as Albus had rested a hand in his shoulder before walking to them. The kid was weirded out and wary at first, seeing him pet the dog gently, but as he handed him the bag he switched it to confusion. Albus pointed at the man behind him and the boy got gloomy. Said something that made Albus go still. He looked around for a second and pointed to his left. Made his hand curve and straight, before Sann saw the kid’s eyes gleam.

“Albus! Sann!” Claude yelled before getting in the car’s passenger sit.

“Coming!” Sann heard him say from behind. Passing an arm over his waist “I’m glad he didn’t take it badly” he smiled walking to the car “His uncle’s got a bad cough so I hope he can buy him some meds with what I gave him…”

“Told him where to buy them?”

“Yeah, a clinic that gives free checkups. The doctor there is quite nice. They have sweaters for homeless people in winter” he said opening the door “Gave Annie a blue one with pink flowers and I got an oversized orange sweater. I think they also gave me a scarf” he laughed. That absent look on his eyes whenever he talked about her sitting oddly.

Albus felt too many eyes on him to be comfortable. “I’m sorry” he said immediately.

“Don´t be, who’s Annie Albus?” Claude asked making the boy uncharacteristically nervous. Zarai made the conscious effort not to look back. His thumbs were frantically running one over the other.

“I don’t…I don’t know? Not for sure. Her name came to mind that’s all. M-Maybe someone I, I knew?” He felt a sharp sting on the side of his head, letting a whimper out. Sann jumped to hold his hand but Albus flinched so wildly he shoot it back “I- I´m sorry. I´m fine, don´t worry” Albus hid his hands between his thighs, like trying to hide his stim “I´m sorry, I swear I´m fine”

There were no more questions asked. Not even when they got home and Albus went to say goodnight to both of them. But there was a certain unsettled look on him. Like he was racking his brain. Trying to remember.

Sann was about to follow him out of the room when Zarai told him to wait. Just Sann. Albus got stiff but obeyed and closed the door behind him quietly.

“Sann, I need you to do something for me” Sann straightened. A direct order from his owner “Has he told you anything about Annie?” A nod “Does he remember telling you after?”

“No, ma’am. This is the first time I see he does”

“I see, what has he told you?”

Sann looked up, tilting his head. Then he told her the times Albus said Annie would do cartwheels, snored and always had her feet cold, or how much she was scared of dogs, about how he would braid his hair when it was long, or that it was a mess to sleep together in winter cause they lacked covers and she always pulled them to her side, or how hard it had been to find a fresh place to sleep on the streets on summer or about the scar on her arm when “he” had gotten angry at her.

“‘He’?” Claude asked in a frown. Sann shook his head.

“If he tells you more you come and tell me, yes?” Her face softened suddenly “How are you doing? Did you remember the song? We´re very excited to hear you play” Sann smiled, dimples appearing on his cheeks.

“I´m still practicing it. I´m sure I will have it for the anniversary” Sann said. He hadn´t quite remembered how it went, but in the long hours they were at work he could practice without spoiling Album’s surprise. Could have his headaches without worrying him.

“Can you believe he has been here a year? Time flies…” She said mostly to herself “Thanks, Sann I´m sure he will love it” she smiled giving him a small pat on the head he leaned on to before she pulled it back “Goodnight Sann” the boy stayed still for a second before he nodded and walked out of the room. “Hey, Claude, can you like, erase someone from your memories?”

Claude took a deep breathe. “That would make things much easier if it was conscious” He explained.

“Then it might be his way of coping? But if it was so bad to try to suppress them, why now?”

“He might be feeling comfortable enough to remember her. That happens sometimes with PTSD. You forget until your brain feels strong enough to remember. I don’t know what happened, but I’m sure that if he still talks with a smile about her, it must mean she’s someone important to him” Zarai slipped into bed, Momo chirping at her presence. Claude scooting to cuddle her “Sann´s doing a good job in keeping him calm. They look like a bonded pair”

“A what?” Zarai asked. Claude just soothed her hair in a long sigh.

“Let´s sleep yes? I´m tired” he gave her a forehead kiss “Good night”

Zarai allowed him that. Claude had been so…out of himself lately. He had completely cut ties with the lawyer friend too… She was worried but she pressed a kiss on his shoulder, he answered with a kiss on her hand.

She would find her answers in the morning.

On his dreams, Albus was starting to see everything more clearly. The men´s faces weren´t blurred as much anymore. He could make up their faces.

Sann was still groggy when he heard the boy bolt awake in heavy pants and rushed to take out the notebook on his nightstand and a pen.

“Al?” he signed rubbing his eyes with the other hand as he heard him scratch the paper.

“It was them, it was them, it was them, and it was them” he kept muttering over and over. Trembling and shivering. Then he stopped. Froze. Crying his eyes out. Sann had almost jumped to see what he had drawn. The portraits of two men. He gently passed a hand over his eyes and put the notebook away, pulling him closer. Holding him in place with his arms as he rocked him slowly. “It was them, it was them, it was them, and it was them” Sann kept hearing until he fell asleep on his chest.

He let out a big sigh. Tucked him back to bed and used a pillow as replacement to himself. The albino held to it so tightly, like his life depended on it. Sann´s heart broke at the image. Until a few months ago, it was Sann who clung like that to him.

He took a look at the notebook.

So this were the people on his dreams?

Albus had drawn them before, in the same fashion as that night. But he always destroyed the drawing before he could see them. It was hard. The strokes were too aggressive to make a real face. But he could definitely make out the bird´s tattoo on the man´s chest. Taking flight. Sann ripped out the drawing and hid it below the mattress. He would show it to Zarai later. For now, he would try to get him and his boyfriend, a good night sleep.

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lovieebby · 5 years ago

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dreaded corner

a/n: i know this isn’t the oneshot/fic i promised but here’s something i whipped up! i thought since i’ve imagined for a hot minute that id just spit it out. thank you @viking-raider for rereading this for me 😂 ily & also i apologize again bc im posting this thru my phone so im sorry if the formats funky!!

summary: you thought you could be a big girl, instead its sassy and rude and daddy is fed tf up.

word count: 2.2k (wowza)

pairing: henry cavill x reader (y/n)

warnings: um henry himself? implyed smut, sub!reader, daddy henry is fed up, description of readers pussee, i made a bad pun, that cursed blue tank top

tag list: @hell1129-blog 😘

you and henry have been dating for some time now and your sex life was off the charts, but about six months ago you both had started dabbling in the bdsm dynamics as a couple. henry already knew what he was doing, you, not so much. you had an idea but you never really completely understood how to be a submissive, you where naturally that way in the bedroom but anywhere else outside of that felt off to you and plus you never had a dom that was as strict and as serious in this lifestyle as henry, your past partners just in it for the hype of the kinky sex.

you loved being his submissive but it was hard at first, you had always looked out for yourself and so it became a habit to take things into your own control and set up walls. but after time and love henry slowly took down those walls and you where able to trust him with your whole being. after a while, you really loved being taken care of and being able to hand the control over to someone else, it feeling like you could finally breathe.

you felt like you where a genuine good submissive, theres never really a right or wrong way either, henry had told you, easing your mind when you had gotten concerned. most days you listened, wanting to please him and get praised for it. you lived to be a good girl for him, but some days where more rough than normal. some days you just wanted to be independent and in charge of yourself, doing what you please, and more often than not, henry caught on to it fast and put you back into your place.

you stood in the kitchen, standing by the fridge trying to figure out what to drink. you rubbed your ass, stinging still from the spankings you got earlier. ten hard swats on each cheek and you didn’t get to orgasm once the first punishment was over, no orgasm was your second punishment.

bummer.

henry sat in the living room, on his laptop replying to an email. he wore his blue tank top with his sweat pants, feet perched up on the ottoman. he had started an email once he had given you the much needed aftercare and reassurance. you both had cleaned up taking a shower together and getting into your lazy day clothes.

henry heard the fridge being closed roughly and the shelves within it shaking. he had talked about this with you time and time again, you used to do it at your own home, but now you two lived together, so that meant respecting your surroundings. what was so hard about that?

“don’t slam it, please.” he had said, making eye contact with you when you spun around to look at him.

“i didn’t! it was the suction from the door!” you explained, getting a little snappy with him, not wanting to get caught that you did, in fact, do it again. you turned around, not wanting to be called out, and made yourself busy looking in another cabinet for something to snack on.

henry looked at you questionably that quickly turned into a stern disapproving glare, “don’t talk back to me,” he sighed out, turning back to his email. he thought your attitude dissolved, clearly it just doubled.

“i’m not, im just defending myself,” you sassed out quietly, making a mocking face while you searched in the cabnet.

“excuse me?” his voice boomed out. he pressed hard on the send button, sending the email, he didn’t bother double checking if everything was typed out correctly. henry moved the laptop over to the empty seat. he crossed his arms, frowning at you, surprised at your returned attitude.

“did you fart?” you sassed again, closing the cabinets, you spun around and crossed your arms. coping him while leaning on the counter arching your eyebrow, biting the inside of your cheek.

bad move, bad move (y/n).

henry was baffled, you just got done with a punishment not even an hour ago. he had beaten your ass pretty well, and he rarely had to do that. he thought if you wanted a challenge, you would quickly lose. he stood up from the couch, and slowly walked to you, once he got the the kitchen island he put his hands down, spreading his fingers out. he towered over you even if it was a couple feet away, his eyes piercing into you, daring you to continue your attitude.

he’s never had to punish you multiple times in one day, but if it was needed, he was going to.

“little girl,” he started, his voice dropping an octave, “drop the attitude, i won’t tell you again.”

“fine.” you snapped, you where definitely not going to. “but i didn’t slam the door.”

“(y/n), i don’t care,” he punctuated each word, leaning forward.

“i didn’t though! i’m not lying!” you threw your hands down, almost stomping your foot on the floor.

you where acting out, you knew he was getting back in his dominant role, but you where serious too! you didn’t want to be dominated at the moment. you didn’t want to say your safe word, it wasn’t needed, you were just being a brat. you just wanted to be you for two seconds, not henry’s baby, you felt big.

“alright, get over here.” he stood up straight, walking away from the counter, clinching his jaw. he was fed up, you had no reason to act this way and he was quickly going to put you in your place.

you suddenly realized that you became a big mean brat more than a big girl, now you wanted the floor to eat you whole, like right now. utterly embarrassed that you thought you where so confident about yourself and your actions. you didn’t want to move, frozen under his glare, you where already thinking of what he was going to do, and you where praying he wasn’t going to swat your ass again, his spanks weren’t light and your ass was as rosey as ever.

“move it missy,” he said, snapping his finger down in front of him where he wanted you, “now.”

you slowly moved to him, your confidence completely leaving your body as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat. you stood in front of him, not making eye contact, his eyes too intimidating. if you looked at him, you’d beg for forgiveness, but at the moment you where still trying to hold on to a useless lie.

henry breathed in deep and let it out slow through his nose, he knows its hard for you sometimes to comply and completely listen but you both agreed to the rules henry had set. he let you stand there, making you think. it also gave him a moment to calm down, he didn’t want to just lash out and show his frustration, but he still wants you to know who’s the boss.

he honestly just wanted to sit down with you and junk out after getting his business done, but clearly he needed to punish you again because apparently you didn’t get the memo the first time.

“we agreed on the rules, did we not?” he questioned you, crossing his arms. he looked out at you, you looked anywhere but him.

you nodded your head, agreeing with him.

“oh, now you have nothing to say?” he taunted, ticking his jaw. “you had so much to say earlier.”

“we did.” you whispered, looking down at your fidgeting hands.

“look at me when i’m talking to you,” henry gripped your chin, tilting your face up to him. you whimpered dropping your hands to your side, his grip making your bottom lip jut out.

“if you don’t agree with the rules, you know what to say, if not, shut it,” he sternly watched you, waiting for you to say something, putting a little more pressure into his grip, shaking your face a bit, waiting for you to say the word. when you didn’t, he continued, “now i don’t know what got into you, to think you can speak to me like that, but that needs to end. quit your shit and stand in the corner, hands behind your back.”

you frowned, opening your mouth in disbelief, now you where upset all over again, the submission leaving your body. you’ve been put in time out a couple times but right now you weren’t feeling it, this is dumb!

“like a kid?!” you loudly questioned.

“yes! because you’re acting like one!” he let go of your face and with one hand he pushed you to the corner by the breakfast table with his other, he pointed to the known corner.

you picked up your feet and scoffed, this was unfair, you weren’t a child! you clinched your jaw when you got the corner, so frustrated you screamed in your mouth.

once henry heard you whining and carrying on he walked up behind you and smacked you ass, harder than he intended but it worked, he needed to make a point. you gasped and jolted forwards, bracing your hands on the wall, your ass was still tinder. he stood behind you, putting his hands up on the wall caging you in. he put his mouth right next to your ear.

“you did this to yourself, so take your punishment like a big girl and shut up. i don’t want to hear you.” he said, leaning into you, making himself known, “you don’t run shit here missy, and i’m here to remind you of that.”

he pushed off the wall, backing up from you and smacked your stinging ass again, giving a warning. you held your whine in and closed your eyes tight.

he turned around and stood by the counter, he looked down at his watch and set a timer for twenty minutes, he could probably get some small chores done, so he could waste time waiting on you. he didn’t want to stand there and watch you because you’d notice and probably say something and he just didn’t want to hear it. you where always so good, but when you got bratty and sassy, he nipped that shit quick, not wanting it to happen again. as he was leaving the room and gave kal a quick pat to follow him, he doesn’t need you petting him while you’re in your corner.

you were embarrassed to say the least, you were in a corner with your hands behind you, flustered in an uncomfortable wetness from your arousal. henry made you flustered on any given day but when he became daddy, it was so much more worse. you where still soaked from the first spanking and from the rough sex you just had earlier.

you moved side to side discretely, you only wore an over sized cotton tee with your soft sleep shorts with no panties, not wanting any extra material on your bum, the shorts already a little scratchy on your bruised cheeks.

regretting your attitude, you wanted to apologize, but you knew if you spoke up, you would get reprimanded from henry. so you stood there, trying to pass the time by trying to find shapes on the textured wall.

after some time you noticed you haven’t heard henry, you perked up and peeked over your shoulder, you didn’t see henry anywhere not even kal. usually if you tapped the wall kal would come over and you could at least have some type of company. you tapped the wall a couple times, but no response from the pup. you turned back around to the corner, trying to patently wait, wanting to be good for your daddy.

what felt like hours, you finally heard henry come back into the kitchen, pulling a chair out from the breakfast table and assuming, sitting down in said chair. you wanted to apologize so bad, you weren’t ever bad like this before, you felt terrible for being snappy and bratty at him. but you stayed and waited for him to tell you, you could come out.

“come here baby,” he said, patting his thigh.

you looked over your shoulder, shrinking into yourself a little apprehensive about moving, “you sure daddy?” you softly asked, you didn’t even know if you wanted to leave the corner, you where rude.

he chuckled softly, he patted his thigh again, “yes i’m sure baby, come on.”

you turned around and stood between his legs, you put your left hand over your shoulder, messing with the hem of your tee shirt. “i’m sorry daddy, i was rude and i really did close the fridge hard.” you said as you rose your head to look at him.

“i know, you don’t lie very well,” he smirked, rubbing the back of your thigh, loving the feeling of your warm skin. “you know why you went into your corner, right?”

you breathed in, sighing, “because i got snappy with you,” you said, henry blinked and gave you a knowing look, waiting for you to continue, “and that i lied.” you quickly said the rest.

he hummed, nodding his head, “good job baby, you did good.” he squeezed your thigh, as you relaxed and put both of your hands on his thighs leaning into him.

you smiled sheepishly and leaned all the way down to give him a kiss. when henry kissed back, he put his other hand on the back of your head, softly intertwining his fingers to massage your scalp.

he pulled back, looking at you intently, “don’t lie again, i like having my good baby.” you nodded your head and gave gave him another kiss.

a/n: thank you guys for reading, feedback is always nice so dont be afraid to say something 🥰

#henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill #henry cavill x yn #henry x reader #henry x you #daddy!henry #sub!reader #d/s dynamic

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psychedellic-phase · 4 years ago

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Fifteen (pt 14)

A/N: Sorry for the delay! I’m back at college but the next, and final 2 (!!) parts will be up within two weeks! AH! Thank you all so much for reading xoxo

Word count: 6.7k

Tw: angst, cursing, vomiting, mentions of pregnancy and miscarriage

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

“When I got home from Florida the house was even emptier. During the four days I was stuck in a hotel room drowning in my own tears and the minibar, you packed up the rest of your stuff and left. At that point, most of your things were in your apartment, all you had to get was some clothes and books. I wonder how long it took you to pack it all up, pack your life with me up. Did you stare at the walls and cry? The same way I did when I packed today? Did you take your time, go through each room and remember everything we did? Did you take it all in? Admire what we could have been? Were you even a little bit sad about leaving the life we tried and failed to build together? Or were you in and out in ten minutes? Did you shove your clothes in a suitcase, the same way you did in Florida, and walk out like it was nothing? Was it easy? Was it a relief? Were you happy to leave the key, lock the door, and never have to come back?

I know I was devastated when I found it.

It was in the dish we used to put our car keys and ID tags in. It was right by the front door. It was the first thing I saw when I got home. I walked in and dropped my own keys in the dish, and to my surprise I heard them clink as they hit into yours. At first I thought that meant you were there, waiting for me. I thought you were going to emerge from the kitchen with a wide smile and I’d run into your arms. So, I called out for you, yelling like an idiot in the front doorway, but I was only met with silence. The silence that signified the absence of you. The silence I had grown comfortable floating in.

I stared at the key for a while, trying and failing to remember when I gave it to you. I feel like I gave you it pretty early on; you definitely had one before Jacksonville. But I cannot for the life of me pinpoint what day I handed you the key, with the hope that you’d always have it. The hope that my home would always be your home because we only felt at home when we were together.

That damn key, sitting in a dish from Target was your way of saying that your home was no longer my home. It was your way of saying that you were done too, and the storm I had tried to control became a full on hurricane. I was sobbing, sitting against the front door and holding onto your key like it was the life raft that could stop me from drowning.

I’d give you this key as your momento, but I had to give it back to my landlord this morning. And now I have a new set of keys waiting for me in Seattle. Keys to a home that isn’t yours; only mine.”

Spencer sat on the couch now, appreciating the softness of it in comparison to the harshness of the dishwasher and kitchen floor. The boarding pass was burning into the kitchen table, his hands sweaty and trembling as he read and remembered.

He remembered every moment after the breakup more vividly than he normally did. Usually his memories were like film strips that he had stored on a shelf in the corner of his mind. He could pick the one he needed out, kick his feet up in the theater of his mind and watch them back, popcorn in hand. But these memories were different. Memories of you were burned in. His brain was branded with them. It wasn’t a movie he could choose to play or not, it was constant, like a sad song stuck in his head, driving him insane. He never stopped thinking about it, replaying every word, regretting every moment, every yell, every item shoved in a suitcase, every raindrop, every tear stained sleeve.

He hated himself for walking out. He hated that he could leave so easily, after his whole life was plagued with people leaving him too easily. He never wanted to be that man, especially to you. He surprised himself when he grabbed the suitcase, held you tightly one last time, and got in the elevator. He was ashamed to admit that the second those steel doors closed and he could no longer see you crying in the hallway, the first thing he felt was relief. He was finally alone again.

But then he realized he was actually alone. All alone. You weren’t there waiting for him to come back anymore. You were gone, and he was alone.

The whole flight home didn’t feel real, it was like an out of body experience. He felt like a shell of a person, a hollow body merely going through the motions as the events of the last three years played in his mind. How did those people who danced in the kitchen in the daybreak’s sunlight end up here? One of you on a plane to escape the other, who was no doubt drowning themselves in mini tequila bottles and crappy room service food. How did the people who swore to love each other through everything, end up as two lonely hearts wondering why promises and hearts are so damn easy to break.

The numbness first started up there in the sky, with nothing but gray stratus clouds to keep him company. The realization hit him up there. He was wrong. He couldn’t do this alone. He couldn’t be alone. He needed you; you needed each other. He thought about asking the pilot to turn around, take him back to that island so he could save this. He could pull the blue velvet ring box out of his bag and fix everything with just a few words.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he ate airplane peanuts and tried not to cry. When they landed and took the subway out as far as it would go and walked to your house. He hadn’t even intended to go there, it just happened. He started walking and his feet brought him there without his brain having any say. He stared at the front of the house, remembering the countless times he carried you over the threshold because you couldn’t stand. He remembered how he’d decorate for Halloween in September and how the day after Thanksgiving, you’d beg him to take out the boxes of Christmas decorations. He remembered how you insisted on listening to ‘It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas,’ as he strung lights around the front porch and you made him hot chocolate.

The house he saw now was bare. There were no Christmas lights strung on the front step, like they usually would have been by December fourth. There were no statues of snowmen and no wreath. It was just a house that was so clearly devoid of any and all love.

He hadn’t thought about how the weather would be different there than in Florida, but the cold was comforting in a way. He didn’t bother changing. He stood in front of the house he no longer had any right to call his own, in flip flops, shorts, and a dress shirt. He allowed the cold air to bite at his skin until he was as numb on the outside as he was on the inside.

He unlocked the door with his key, and took his time moving around. He started at the front door, where he saw the picture of the two of you at Rossi’s and his hatred for the four walls he used to call home came back. You hadn’t changed much of the place. The ultrasound was still pinned to the fridge with a smiley face magnet. Old flowers were hanging from the wall, case files littered the table. It looked like home, it just didn’t feel like home.

He went through everything slowly, over several days. He started in the living room, where he saw the cave of blankets you’d no doubt been living in and the crack in his heart became a canyon. He should’ve been laying in those blankets with you, staring at the TV and listening to you drone on and on about how much you love Nick Miller. He hated that he wasn’t there with you. He climbed inside, in an attempt to make up for all the times he missed, and allowed the smell of you to envelope him. He dreamt of you.

When he woke up the next morning, he smelled you again and instinctively reached out to pull you close to him, but when he did his hands were met by a mass of blankets rather than your warm skin. He sighed, and went into the kitchen. There he grabbed his favorite mug from the cabinet, filled it up, and sat at the table as he read the newspaper. He imagined you next to him, bringing him the sugar bowl and laughing at the name of the obscure town on the top of the page.

“Where is Biwabik?” You’d say, pushing the sugar bowl over to him as he took two more spoonfuls.

“Minnesota,” he’d say plainly, reading about their local fireman’s bazaar.

“Oh, yeah, Biwabik, Minnesota,” You’d laugh and kiss his forehead before going upstairs to take a shower.

He finished his coffee while staring at the gray sky. He hoped it would snow, so when you came home you’d be greeted by your favorite weather.

He took a blisteringly hot shower and opened up your body wash just so he could memorize what it smelled like, just in case he never got to smell it again. The hot water defrosted his inner and outer numbness, allowing all his feelings to come to the top. The water mixed with his tears, the same way yours had with the rain. He was waiting for the day dream to end, all he wanted was to hear the sound of you opening the shower curtain, poking your head and asking, “Can I join?”

But that soothing sound never came.

He stood under the hot water until it went cold, and moved into the bedroom. He stared at the bed he used to curl up next to you in. He found it hard to even look at, considering the last time he slept in it he woke up to the sheets being stained in blood. He moved to sit on the bed, trying not to disturb the specific way you made it. He looked at the sticky note you had placed next to you. It was from him, saying ‘I went in a little early today, didn’t want to disturb you on your day off. I can’t wait to see you at 6. I love you, Love.’ He smiled, knowing you placed it there so it was the first thing that you saw when you woke up each morning. But then he remembered that you put it there because each morning you weren’t waking up next to him. This note was as close as you could get.

He looked through your drawers, smiling at the CalTech hoodie folded neatly on top. He decided to leave that one in the drawer. That way you’d always have a physical piece of him, even though you’d always have his heart.

He moved from there into the nursery. It was empty. A regular person would just think it was a green spare bedroom, but he knew. He knew which wall the crib was going to go on. He knew that the hook from the ceiling was meant for the mobile Penelope had made. He knew what should’ve been there.

Spencer spent three entire days in the house. He ate there, slept there, cried there. He felt all the feelings he’d been running from, and regretted that he hadn’t stayed with you to feel them together.

Rossi was right, the only way through this was to lean on each other. Spencer hadn’t. He leaned as far away from you as he could. He realized just how lonely that two-bedroom could feel, and he understood how you’d nearly gone crazy in there. He was there for three entire days, and felt like he aged fifty years. Somehow, he felt closer to you than he had in months, even though you were 1,074.6 miles away in a hotel room he should’ve been in too.

He talked to the moon each night, begging it to answer him. He didn’t know what to do. Should he let you go? Isn’t that the saying? ‘If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back it was never yours in the first place’? Would you ever come back? Were you ever his? Was he ever really yours? Should he honor your wishes to break up? Should he pack this life up and leave without any closure? Without a proper goodbye? Or should he wait for you there? Kiss you the second you walked in the door and tell you that he was a fool, an idiot, that no one ever meant as much to him as you do? Should he fight for you?

But then he heard your voice ringing in his ears, “Don’t bother.”

“Don’t bother.”

And he didn’t. He packed his few things up, took one long, final look around with tears in his eyes, dropped his spare key in a dish, and walked home alone.

“You forgot a few things, of course. You forgot the watch. You forgot the CalTech hoodie. You forgot your favorite mug. You can tell it’s well used and well loved because there’s a permanent coffee stain in the porcelain around the top where you always let it sit because it was too hot to drink.

I gave you the mug my first day back to work. I couldn’t stand looking at it every time I opened the cupboard. I decided to be nice, give it to you as a peace offering before we started onto the uphill battle that was working together. I’d also like to consider this whole box a peace offering. I’m not mad at you. I don’t hate you. It’s the complete opposite, Spence. I love you too much to just watch you and not be with you.

Three weeks after Florida, Hotch called me in for another mandatory evaluation. And I passed. I passed because I went to the counselor. I talked to Dr. Stevens for an hour and a half every Thursday and Sunday morning. I’d go in and he’d give me a glass of water and we’d chat. Sometimes it was about work, turns out I have a lot of pent up grief from all the things I’ve seen, but usually it was about us. I think I spent at least an hour and fifteen minutes each week talking about us. I told Dr. Stevens about every memory I’ve included in these letters. I told him about all of it, from the day I realized I love you, to the day I realized that I couldn’t anymore.

It was hard, probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I had to pour my heart out to someone who didn’t know me. I had to pour my heart out to someone who wasn’t you. I had to grieve the loss of a child and of a lover at once. But to my surprise, he helped. In a weird way, he seemed to understand. I know that’s just because it’s his job, he is literally trained to understand and help people with their grief, but I feel like he knew me. Not nearly the way that you did, but he knew me.”

A dark green monster formed in Spencer’s chest. The thought of another man learning about you in the way he had was enough to make his mouth taste sour. You let this other man into the most intimate parts of your brain, places only Spencer had ever gotten to go before. Did Dr. Stevens know you better than him? He couldn’t help the envy blooming in his chest at the idea. He wanted to be the person you poured yourself out to, and he had been. He wanted that back.

“I’m doing better. That’s how I passed the eval. A male grief counselor helped me through my grief, which you said wouldn’t work. And you were wrong. I must admit it gives me a little bit of joy to tell you that. For once, Spencer Reid, you were wrong. And maybe if you had just agreed to go with me, you would feel better too. If you had just agreed, we never would have had that fight. You never would have packed a suitcase and gone down an elevator alone.

I was right. For once in our lives, I was right, and you were wrong. I just wish it was about something more trivial than this.

My first day back was a Wednesday, about a month and a half ago. I was terrified. I hadn’t seen you since Florida and everyone knew what had happened. Hell, my first day back in DC after the breakup, Derek sat me down with a bottle of tequila and let me cry until the couch was underwater. I just knew it would be awkward and painful and sad. I knew that our friends would stare at us and ‘pick sides’ as if we had suddenly become enemies. I was scared to sit at my desk across from yours and have to look at you. I was scared of the feelings. I was scared of all the progress I’d made in counseling going down the toilet the second I laid eyes on you, and I was right.

I showed up that morning in my best pencil skirt and blouse and pretty red heels. I did my hair. I put on makeup. I tried to make myself look good, so then I’d feel good. I had to fake it, so you wouldn’t be able to see the real me. I caked on makeup to cover up the bags under my eyes from crying over you for weeks. I brushed my hair and strands kept falling out because my hormones changed and I couldn’t eat most nights. I wore black tights so you wouldn’t be able to see the bruises on my knees from the nights I drank and cried and ended up with my head in a toilet, knees bumping the cold tile floor; desperately wishing it was morning sickness, so you’d be close behind me, rubbing my back and taking care of me.

When I exited the elevator, everyone greeted me as usual. I got hugs from the whole team, but you didn’t budge from your desk. You were staring at a book that I know you weren’t reading because you weren’t turning the pages. You were listening to me say hi to Rossi, tell him I missed him, and I could swear eyes flicked towards me a few times when I hugged Derek. That’s probably just wishful thinking, because I wanted you to look at me. I wanted you to see me, see that I was “fine.” I wanted you to look at me because I couldn’t stop looking at you. You, who I fell in love with over these same BAU desk partitions. I saw the ghosts of me and you three years ago, young and happy, your hair curling over your eyebrow, your pursed lips, the way your tie was just slightly crooked. I saw the you I wanted. I saw the man I stared at with lovesick stars in my eyes as we filled out Hotch’s paperwork. I saw me and you and Jacksonville and Meridian Hill Park and everything that we could have been.

And I cracked.

You didn’t even have to speak to me, Spencer, and I cracked.

I dropped my bag on the floor next to my desk and ran to the bathroom to cry off the makeup. Seeing you felt like I was drowning but on fire at the same time. I swear time stopped for a moment when I exited Garcia’s hug and saw you across the BAU. And suddenly I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t remember a single coping mechanism Dr. Stevens showed me. I just stood there. Frozen. Trepidation. Regret.

I stared at myself in the shitty flourescent lights of the bathroom, tears washing away my concealer and exposing the dark bags that matched my blood shot eyes. I stared at the way my cheek bones hollowed out since I’d lost over twenty pounds. I stared at a person I didn’t recognize, and that’s when I realized that I wasn’t the same person you fell in love with over the BAU partition either. I wasn’t the chirpy girl helping you jump start your car anymore. I wasn’t the same girl who bought your mother’s favorite book just to try and impress her. I wasn’t me. You weren’t you. So how could we possibly be us?”

Hotch had called Spencer into his office that morning to tell him you would be coming back.

“Is this going to be an issue?” He said, Spencer fiddling with his thumbs in an attempt to hide from Hotch’s stare.

“No, no problem.”

Hotch knew he was lying, and Spencer knew Hotch knew he was lying, but he was nice enough to let it go.

He sat at his desk and opened that book on epicureanism with the full intention of reading it. He was going to immerse himself in that in an attempt to avoid you. But when he opened the cover, the letters all jumbled together like alphabet soup on the page. Then he heard the familiar clack of your heels, and he looked up, just for a second. He noticed how beautiful you looked, but he recognized the sadness in your body. It was the same sadness he saw in his own every morning as he struggled to find the will to move from his position in bed.

He hadn’t gone to a counselor and learned coping mechanisms, the only one he knew was avoidance, but how could he avoid you? How could he avoid the way your smell lingered even after you dropped your bag and bolted to the bathroom? How could he avoid staring at the way Derek wrapped his arms around you, wishing they were his instead? How could he avoid the persistent, twisted, aching heart in his chest? How had he managed to avoid you for so long? He saw you up close, in the place you fell in love, for just a moment and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to kiss you.

“When I got back from the bathroom, I knew you could see me. You could see the real me, the me you didn’t want.

I decided I wasn’t going to make this as painful for everyone else as it was for us, so I grabbed my bag, took the mug out and handed it to you.

“I, uh, I found this in the cabinet,” I said weakly, and you grabbed it, our fingertips just brushing each other, an action that usually sent lightning down my spine, “I know it’s your favorite one so I wanted you to have it back.”

“T-Thanks,” You cleared your throat, “I’ll go fill it up with coffee. Want one?”

I smiled through the pain, proud of myself that our first interaction went well, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

You brought me a coffee, made correctly. Cream and one sugar. I took it from you with a fake smile, trying to force back the pain in my chest.

Derek watched that entire painfully awkward interaction, and he pulled me into his office after.

”You good? That was a lot back there.”

I whined, “No. I’m not good. I’m actually very bad.”

He sighed and pulled me in for a hug, “You’ve got this. You and Reid can handle it. We all know you still love each other.”

I started to cry into his chest, just softly. I didn’t need anyone else seeing how broken I was.

“Why did I think I could do it? I should just transfer.”

That was the first time I considered it out loud. The thought had been rattling around in my head for a bit, but saying it made it real.

Derek argued, “No, you don’t need to transfer.”

“Yes I do! Hotch said as much three years ago.”

“Just focus on getting through today, okay?”

I nodded, taking three deep breaths with Derek’s arms on my shoulders, keeping me grounded.

That’s when Penelope opened the door, poking her head in and telling us it was wheels up in twenty.

“You can stay here with me,” She said, coming over to hug me.

I shook my head, wiping away my last few stray tears, “No, I’ve been gone for far too long. I’m coming back.”

She smiled, “I’m so glad you are.”

We all went on the jet, Hotch insisting he’d brief us in the air. I sat at a window seat, next to Derek and across from Hotch and Rossi. You, Alex, and JJ sat opposite from us. I could feel the tension, the passing glances, the sides being chosen, the hushed voice you spoke in so I wouldn’t hear you or even look at you. I felt like an outcast in a plane full of my favorite people.

The case was in Las Vegas. Of course my first case back had to be in your hometown. Of course it had to be in a place that felt like a second home for me.

“Morgan, Y/N, take the latest crime scene,” Hotch ordered me, and I let out a nervous sigh that was much louder than I intended. You all turned to look at me, expressions varied from pity from Hotch to annoyance from you.

Hotch looked me up and down, “Actually, Y/N come with me to the precinct.”

“I-uh-okay?” I said, feeling embarrassed and small and useless and worthless. Because while you got to look at the bodies, I got to look at sweaty Vegas cops.

He didn’t think I could handle it. No one did. None of you thought I could, and guess what? You were right.

I fell apart. That entire case I was a wreck. My brain didn’t work right. I couldn’t profile, crime scene photos made me want to cry, I could barely even look at the family members.

I was actually useless there. I was useless because of you. Because the way the files smelled reminded me of you and I had to watch you talk to Alex and JJ and not talk to me and I had to watch the way you scrunch up your nose and the way your hair falls in your eyes and you brush it away. Because you had all the answers and I had none. Because you were always everything, and I merely accompanied you. Because you’re more of an asset to them than five of me would be.

And that’s why I left.

I left because after that case you stayed back for a day and saw your mom, and usually I would’ve been there with you. I left because that flight home was empty without you, even though you weren’t even looking at me. I left because I don’t know what’d I’d do if you ever got hurt and I wasn't the one sleeping in your hospital bed with you. I left because I cannot live in a life that I shared with you anymore. I left because I love you too much to stay.

When we landed in Quantico that day, I went to the bathroom again to cry. Derek followed me but I shoved him off. I locked myself in a stall and screamed one of those silent screams when you’re too angry and frustrated to even make a noise.

I stared at myself in the mirror again. I wasn’t okay. I hadn’t accepted that part yet. I’d accepted everything else except for the fact that I was broken, and no amount of hugs from Penelope or stolen glances at you were going to fix it. The only thing that would fix it was going as far away from you as possible.

I got my transfer papers from Hotch the next day.

He argued, told me to rethink, told me to take more days off, told me that it would all get better with time.

“Reid’s reasonable,” He said, “And if it’s time–”

“No, I know that I want to transfer. You said so yourself. If it got too hard, I’d have to go. Well it’s too hard, Aaron. I have to go.”

He sighed, “What unit? I can get you a place almost anywhere. Sex crimes? Back in organized?”

I twiddled my thumbs and sighed, “LA?”

“LA?,” He shook his head and gestured for me to sit down, “Sit Y/N. We need to talk about this.”

He went on a very convincing lecture then. He almost got me to stay, but the only person who actually could’ve gotten me to stay was you. At the end he reluctantly gave me the paperwork and told me, “I hope you don’t regret this.”

I really, really, hope I don’t.

The papers sat in a file folder on my desk for three weeks, taunting me. I hadn’t gotten up the nerve to fill them out yet. I’m not sure what I was waiting for. I think maybe I was waiting for you, or maybe I was waiting for it to get better. Waiting for it to not hurt every time I looked over at you or heard you laugh with JJ. But after three weeks, I realized that was never going to happen. It was never going to stop hurting me or stop hurting you, so I filled out the papers last Thursday, and five days later Hotch told me about Seattle. I immediately accepted, and packed up my desk.

Except for this, your item for this letter, my name plate. “Y/N Y/L/N Supervisory Special Agent- Behavioral Analysis Unit” doesn’t really belong on my new desk. The nameplate reminds me of pining over you across the round table and Emily poking my shoulder and telling me ‘just go for it!’ It reminds me of sneaking into your hotel room on cases and double-cheek kisses from Rossi. It reminds me of filling out paperwork to declare our relationship, and filling out paperwork to get away from it. It reminds me of us, all of us. It reminds me of my old life. The life I’d like to leave behind, so it’s yours.”

Spencer’s fingers traced the engraved letters of your name, one by one, his mind far away recalling that case and the few days when he stayed back in Las Vegas. He saw his mom for the first time since everything happened.

The first day he visited and the nurses told him it was a good day, one of her best days in recent history. He smiled sadly, knowing that what he was about to share would make it one of the worst.

He walked into her room, every muscle tensed. Diana smiled, wrapped her arms around him warmly and the first thing she did was ask for you.

“When I heard I was getting a visit I was thrilled! Where’s Y/N? Gosh she must be big by now.”

He avoided her gaze, as if he was a child avoiding being scolded, “Y/N isn’t coming.”

“She’s not?” She asked, and Spencer immediately regretted not telling her about the last two months sooner. He kept putting it off, not quite knowing how to break his mother's heart while dealing with his own.

“No, mom, and I think you should sit down.”

“Sit? Spencer, sweetheart, what is it? You’re worrying me.”

He sat down, knee bouncing and hands fidgeting just to release some of the pent up energy inside of him, “Y/N and I, we–we broke up.”

Her eyebrows furrowed, just as his always did, lips pressed into a line, “Spencer Reid you left a pregnant girl? I raised you better than that!”

He bit his lips, not knowing exactly how to say the words that came next, “Mom, Y/N, she–“ He stopped himself, correcting himself for once, “We lost her.”

Diana’s mouth fell open slightly, “Lost the baby?”

Spencer couldn’t do much but nod, the tears he had been forcing back for weeks flooding his eyes and running over like a waterfall. His eyes were shut, the shame of it all overcoming him.

The next thing he felt were her arms around him, pulling him close as he fell apart.

“Th-there was nothing I could do, nothing anyone could do,” he choked out between ragged breaths, “I-I should’ve been able to do something! I should’ve been able to protect her and I didn’t and now—”

She cut him off, her cold hands rubbing the tears off his hot cheeks, “Sometimes things just, well they just happen.”

He nodded, “And then Y/N…”

“Spencer, how’d you let her go?”

He shrugged, wiping at his nose, “I-I don’t know. I can’t believe I left. I just—“

His voice was getting rushed and his breath was getting quick, like he was drowning in tears and regret.

“Shh, stop,” She said, hands running through his hair the same way they did when he was a boy, “You’ve already lost so much, don’t lose her too.”

When he left his mother that day he took her words to heart. He wasn’t going to lose you too, he was going to make up for those two months. When he arrived back in DC, his first stop was your house. He knocked on the door, go-bag on his shoulder. There was no answer. He knocked again. And again. And again.

You never opened up.

He was expecting you to open the door and smile at him and invite him inside, but the door stayed locked, his key to it being inside. That night he stayed on the step until one in the morning, when he begrudgingly got in his car and drove away. The next night he came back, and the next, and the next, and the next, the door always staying shut. He left each time feeling more and more defeated.

He knew you were in there, he could see your shadow appear and disappear, and every night he’d stay until the January air became too much to bear. He swore he could hear you slide down the door a few times, sitting as close back to back with him as possible.

He went every night until one day, when he was laying against the cold door, half asleep and frostbitten, Derek appeared in front of him.

“Reid,” He whispered, voice sympathetic but also stern, “You gotta stop doing this. This isn’t healthy.”

Spencer stood up, his breath visible as he spoke, “I know.”

“She isn’t going to let you in.”

“I know,” he mumbled, fixing his wool coat and starting to walk away. Derek watched him as he made his way across the snow-covered yard. He turned around and called to him.

“Morgan! Just, just tell her I’m sorry. Tell her I miss her.”

Derek nodded, opening your front door and entering the place Spencer wished he could be: with you.

“I don’t know what happened to you in Vegas, but when you came back, you were different. At work you still avoided me like I was a rat with the plague, but then every night I’d hear you knocking on my door, begging to be let in.

“I love you,” you’d say, “I take it all back.” As if you ever could.

I’d sit on the stairs that face the door, head in my hands, trying to find the willpower to keep the door closed. Then I’d see your key, sitting in the dish you put it in, and it was easy to keep the door closed, because you’re the one who shut it.

You came almost nightly for a week. I’d always look through the peephole. I’d sit with my back to the door the same way yours was. I’d wrap myself in a blanket and sleep there, as close to you as I could, but I kept the door shut.

I know it’s terrible, but part of me wishes that we never met. That instead I stayed making espresso shots in Connecticut and never went back to this life. In this wish, Dave never called me. I never saw your dopey smile and immediately fell in love. Maybe then you wouldn’t be all I think about. Maybe then you’d get out of my head, because as long as I know you, I’ll never love anyone else.

But that way of thinking is behind me. Now, I see you as a lesson I had to be taught. I learned how to love, and how I deserve to be loved. I learned how to smile and laugh and really care about someone other than myself. I learned how to grieve and appreciate my life and I learned what real, true love is. I learned about soulmates and science and how to smile so hard my cheeks hurt. I learned how to let go.

But I learned hard lessons too; like that the Beatles were wrong, love isn’t all you need. You need passion and commitment and happiness and compromise. I learned that sadness can be a greater emotion than love. I learned that heartbreak is real and sometimes the people you love more than anything in this world can hurt you. And I’m grateful to you, for every lesson you ever taught me. I’m grateful for every single second I spent with you. I’m grateful for you, Spencer Reid.

Thank you.”

“Thank you”

He could practically hear you whisper it to him.

He found it funny that you were thanking him for breaking your heart, time and time again, because all he felt was regret.

He glanced up at the clock, realizing that he needed to leave now if he had any chance of making the flight to you. He haphazardly collected the letters and all the objects you gave him from where he placed them around the apartment. He grabbed a duffle bag, stuffing it with clothes and whatever things he thought he may need. He grabbed the ring box, debating for a moment whether or not it was too much, too soon. He decided to throw caution to the wind.

What is it Morgan says? Go big or go home?

Spencer was going big, and you were coming home.

He kicked the front door closed as he left, box overflowing with papers and the ring box burning in his back pocket.

Letter fifteen would have to wait.

Part 15!

—————————

Taglist

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#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fic #matthew gray gubler #reid #mgg #cm #fifteen

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moonflower-31 · 4 years ago

Text

I Won’t Forget You - Spencer Reid x Reader

Masterlist

Part 6

Pairing: Spencer x Reader

Warnings: Descriptions of murders, cases, Serial killer facts,

Tags: @dra-reid, @eevee0722, @ceeellewrites, @anotherr-fine-mess, @ssahoodrathotchner

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○●♡●○

It had been about two months or so since your little impromptu sleepover at the resident genius's place. Things had gotten a little better, at least on your part.

"Hey!"

You jumped from your make-do desk in your room, snapping your head towards the doorway where a friendly face awaited you. Gabriel had a bag of sweets in one hand and a malt in the other. "Jesus, Gabe you scared me." You cursed, holding a hand to your chest.

"At least we're even." He points out, putting the malt on the table in front of you. Also inconveniently on top of your written notes for the paper you had to write. You growled and moved the drink, glaring at your best friend.

"You've gotten even with me plenty of times since then! How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?" You ask in exasperation. Gabriel pretends to ponder your question as he pops a caramel apple sucker into his mouth.

"Says the girl who didn't call me to tell me she was home and instead decided to stay with the coworker she has a crush on. You didn't even bribe me with details!" He complained, dumping a few sweets in front of you.

You grumpily grab one of the sweets he had graciously offered and tossed it into your mouth. "It was one time! And I hadn't slept for like, four days! Besides, it wasn't my fault my mother decided to drop by and visit!" You huff.

"Yeah yeah. You know how much I hate that hag. Nothing against you, sugar tits." Gabriel comments, pulling the pop from his mouth. "But still, no excuse not to call me. Send me a text even. Some proof of life." He grumbled. "That malt is yours by the way. Iris insisted I get one for you while we were out. Couldn't say no."

You look over at the bright pink striped cup dripping with condensation that created a wet circle on the desk. For being pissed at you for over two months, Gabriel was a good friend.

You took the malt and started sipping generously. "I'm sorry, okay? What do I have to do to prove it to you?" You ask.

Gabriel smirked. You hated when he got ideas.

"Tell me about your night with Mister teacher's pet. Then I'll consider it." He teased, quickly bopping your nose.

"I already told you. After my bitch mother confronted me, he convinced me to head to his place. I couldn't say no. He eventually read me a poem and I fell asleep. And… he knows my real name now. Happy?" You asked with a groan.

"Oh come on, that can't be all of it!" He whined, almost like a child about to throw a tantrum for being forced to eat his vegetables. Not that Gabriel was any different. He would fight you tooth and nail if you tried.

"It is! Nothing else happened! No kiss, no dramatic display of feelings, no nothing. Just a really awkward drive to work." You huffed.

The thought of the drive was a little hurtful. After the night you both had, well more like morning and you slept through the rest of the day, Spencer had been distant. It didn't last long as a couple days later they all had to get on the jet for another case. Spencer then began to re-warm up to you and now you knew nothing different. Though he didn't try to flirt with you anymore. Not like Morgan. But the previous moments where he had you backed up against the map, or had called you a good girl. He never did it again. And to be honest, you missed it despite how embarrassed you were afterwards.

"Boo! And I thought you liked the guy!" Gabriel exclaimed, acting baffled at the chain of events in your life. He then shrugged. "More fish in the sea I guess." He teased, obviously gaging you for a response.

"I do! Just… I'm not as obscenely obvious about it as you want me to be!" You hissed, sucking up more chocolate malt into your mouth with a little bit of a pissy attitude.

"Well if you were, I'm sure he'd be your teacher's aide boyfriend by now. Now, who's right and wrong in this situation? Hm? Yeah, me. No debate." He insists, putting the sucker back into his mouth.

"Shut up. I have to write this paper. For my doctorate in social science." You explain. "Just because you stopped going to school doesn't mean I can't go ahead and add another doctorate to my belt." You try to change the subject, hoping Gabriel would ease up on you.

"You and those doctorates. Are you seriously trying to build a filing cabinet up there or are you just bored with working for the FBI already?" Gabriel asks, flopping down onto your bed.

"Neither. I just want to know as much as I can in all of my areas of schooling. Be taken seriously." You insist.

"Boring. Why don't you take classes on making candy or something? That would be seriously cool. And then you can open up your own business just to spite those parents of yours!

I can see it now!" He rants, hanging his head over the edge of your mattress as he spreads his hands as if displaying the business name.

You roll your eyes. "No thanks. That sounds like something you should do though. You'd fit right into that role, you know. Candyman." You tease. "Now I really gotta finish this paper." You insist.

"Fine fine. Just be sure to come down from your academic heaven long enough to eat dinner once Iris is finished." He insists, winking at you before he leaves your room.

Finally, you had your peace and quiet. But it was weird. The peace and quiet was very quickly becoming deafening by the influx of thoughts. Not the helpful kind either.

You began to come up blank on ideas for your paper and had more ideas on how you could have maybe done something different to prevent that awkward drive to work all those weeks ago. Where did this uncertainty come from?

You grumble and close your laptop after ten minutes of no progress. Maybe you just needed a break. Then again, it was your day off. And you didn't feel like wishing bad things on someone just so you'd be able to go into work.

Almost as if the universe had been listening and decided to throw you a sickened bone, you heard your phone begin to ring. You eagerly pick it up, knowing it would be something to keep you busy.

"Hello, Agent (L/N)." You answer without checking the caller ID.

"Yes, (L/N) I need you to come in. We have another case." Hotch answers the phone. You feel a slight feeling of excitement strike at your core. Sure, you'd been on 6 cases so far, but you enjoyed being around your fellow agents and putting another unsub away.

"Do I get any insight, Hotch?" You ask.

"It's a case in Lebanon Kansas. We have a large group of bodies piling up. We have two suspects we believe are working with each other. We just need to profile them and catch them before they kill again. I'll inform everyone once you've arrived." As soon as he finished, he hung up. He didn't give you any chance to reply. Typical Hotch fashion.

You stand up immediately, grabbing your bag and your go-bag you had packed at all times just in case this happened. You grabbed the malt you still had and drank the rest of it, grabbing a couple of the caramel apple pops Gabriel had left and shoving them into your pocket.

You wandered into the kitchen, grabbing a plastic container and putting some of dinner into it.

"Woah, woah, where the hell are you going so late?" Gabriel asked in a fatherly tone. You rolled your eyes and glared at him for a moment.

"I have work. Duh."

"Work? I thought you were off?" Iris asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I am. But unfortunately serial killers don't care that I'm off. Sorry guys. I promise I'll call you guys once I get back, okay?" You promise, finding a lid and putting it on the tubberware.

"You better. Or else I'll stick gum in your hair. And not the easy to get out stuff." Gabriel threatened teasingly, taking a quick bite of his food. "Have fun arresting some muttonheads!" He called.

You chuckle and sling your bag over your shoulder. "Will do!" You reply before you turn around and head out of your shared apartment.

○●♡●○

"Hey! (L/N)!"

You turn your head as you arrive to the bullpen. You smile as the eccentric Penelope Garcia raced up to you to give you a hug once you were down the stairs.

You graciously accepted the hug and turned to everyone else. "What did I miss?" You ask.

"Nothing much. Only Reid finally showing us another magic trick!" Penelope answered for everyone. Morgan chuckled and Reid blushed slightly. Emily was leaned slightly against Reid's desk, looking at you warmly.

"Seriously, he's really good." Emily affirmed. You chuckled and walked over in interest.

"Really now? Show me." You insist, standing in front of Spencer. He looked up at you and did a nervous chuckle.

"W-well your gonna have to turn around." He says, giving you an adorable michevious smirk.

"Oh come on-" you begin.

"He does this everytime, you'll get used to it." Emily adds, laughing slightly as she begins to turn around.

"Spencerrr… please? For me?" You asked, batting your eyes pitifully. You knew it would probably get you nowhere, but you could at lease try.

"No." He insisted.

"Pleaseeee!" You beg again, putting your hands in a clasped position. You even bended your knees slightly to add to the effect.

Instead of the immediate rejection, he pondered for a moment and stared at you.

"Come on kid, one person knows a magician's tricks. Let her be your protégé." Morgan suggests. You giggle and shook your head.

"No really, it's fine. You don't have to show me-" you begin to backtrack, not wanting to force Spencer into showing you.

"I'll do it. I-I mean… I have to find someone to pass my gifts onto." He chuckles, rubbing his neck a little nervously.

"Really?"

"Yeah!" He expressed.

Morgan raised an eyebrow and stifled a chuckle as he watched you two. He leaned over to Emily who had made her way over to where he stood and whispered into her ear.

Spencer then told everyone to turn their heads away except for you. Then he began to show you the way he made the mini bottle rocket. He wrapped his hands around yours and helped you with each step. The warmth of his hands spread to your cheeks, and the touch of them sent shivers down your spine.

"Then turn it upside down and…" Spencer instructed in a whisper, helping you to turn the cap upside down. You watched the foaming top for a few seconds, moving closer towards the unknowing danger of the cap. As soon as it began to jump up, Spencer pushed you back with an inaudible warning. You watched as the bottle skyrocketed and flew fast Hotch's ear. Through this, his hand clutched as your shoulder and refused to leave it.

"Reid, I thought I told you not to do that." Hotch warned.

Reid's face grew a little brighter with embarrassment. You didn't know what came upon you then, but you stood up and gulped. "It-it was me. He taught me and I shot it. Sorry sir." You insisted.

Hotch's lips pulled into a slight smile as he looked back towards you. He didn't say anything afterwards, but you knew he was just teasing you both. "Meet up in the confrence room in five minutes, we have another case." He says after he cleared his throat. You nodded with a cheerful smile and put your bag in your chair. You glanced to Spencer, flashing him a gentle smile before you turned to enter the conference room.

You entered the room and took your seat, taking the tablet out that Garcia had given you before. "So what do we have?" You asked.

"We have what is assumed to be over a dozen bodies killed with different MO's and different stages of aggression. The only thing that links them are the DNA from one or both of these suspects; Jensen and Sam Westchester. And boy do they have long records. That's why we were able to find their DNA matches so quick." Penelope answered.

Spencer took a seat beside you, causing your heart to skip just slightly. "How come we don't have these men yet? Why do they need our help?" You ask.

"We need to apprehend them. And get a confession. The Kansas state court system has been known to be unpredictable. Sometimes evidence is enough, other times they get off with a warning and community service." Hotch answers.

"At least they do that." Morgan grumbled. "How come we don't have these guys yet? Are they that slick?"

"Unfortunately yes. They are like Houdini when it comes to busting out of prisons and facilities. The last prison they were held in, one up in Ohio, said they were able to escape through knocking out a guard and switching clothes with him. They were in for a robbery charge." Penelope continued.

"So why escalate to murder? Unless these murders were scattered." You ask.

"They are. Over 15 years worth. It looks like they could maybe have more." Spencer spoke up, looking over the picture of one of the more recent bodies.

"It's quite possible. After all, Harold Shipman managed to get away with 218 proven murders. But they think he could've done as many as 250." You answer, sharing a serial killer fact you found interesting.

"So we just need to profile these boys and figure out the motive. And if we apprehend them, keep them apart." Emily points out.

"Why do you say that?" Rossi asks.

"If you notice the trend in each of these escapes, they only manage to escape when in contact with the other. In the prison they had time to be able to see one another and formulate a plan. Even when in questioning they were able to get notes to each other."

"Then we'll have to split up and get seperate confessions. These two are brothers, and neither seem to fit the submissive type.' Hotch explains.

"Two alpha males killing for seemingly no reason for half their lives. This'll be easy to get them to confess and rat out their partner." You say sarcastically.

"We have to try. Wheels up in thirty." Hotch announces, standing up and leaving the room.

You sigh and pick up the tablet. "Garcia, can you go ahead and check more than just their juvie records? I wanna have a list of information I can pick from for the profile. Possibly pinpoint some areas of their lives that lead to this behavior." You ask.

"Oh, but of course Queen! I'll get straight on that. But most of it will probably be sealed." She warned.

"Unseal those records Garcia. Anything that can help us." Morgan interjects as he grabs his bag and he too leaves the conference room. Garcia nods to him and quickly clicks her heels as she leaves the room. You sigh and pick up your things as you prepare to get onto the jet.

"You didn't have to defend me."

"Hm?" You ask, turning to look at Spencer. "Oh, you mean the rocket-thingy?" You clarify. "I was the one to beg you to teach me. Let's just be happy it didn't hit him in the head." You giggle. Spencer looked at you intently for a few moments before he nodded and turned his head away silently. Although it caused you to be uncertain, you brushed it off and walked out to your desk to grab your things.

As you grab your bags, you feel the small raised bulge in your pocket. You remember the caramel apple pops and smile. At least you could enjoy one of these on the way to deal with a pair of serial killers. Fun.

You pulled the sucker from the wrapper and popped it into your mouth, beginning your trek out to the jet. As you begin to walk towards the elevator, you notice a pair of hazel eyes following you. You feel a slight burning sensation on the back of your neck and your cheeks as you realized. He looked away once he noticed you were staring back.

Was he really staring, or was he just spacing out? You hoped it was the former. You were practically begging and praying for it to be. But you knew you'd never be that lucky.

As you began walking, you heard a jumble of feet behind you and the jingle of things inside a bag getting tossed around. "(Y/N!)" You heard. You widened your eyes and turned around, glad no one besides Spencer had been behind you.

"Spencer! You can't just call me by my first name right now!" You hissed.

"S-sorry, I just wanted to apologize if I sounded upset with you. I… I find it honorable that you tried to defend me. No one really does." He explained. You felt your heart melt a little.

"Spencer… I didn't think that in the slightest." You knew you were lying, but it was going to make him feel better. Besides, it wasn't that big of a deal. "And if that last part is true then I'll be your legendary defender. Like Voltron!" You insist, already beginning to geek out in front of your workplace crush. Way to go, (Y/N).

"Voltron? What is that? Is it like Star Trek?" He asked, beginning to walk towards the jet with you. You widen your eyes at him and gasp playfully.

"You, haven't seen Voltron Legendary Defender? Okay, when we get back you HAVE to come over and watch it with me. Afterwards we can watch some documentaries." You insist, practically bouncing on your toes. Spencer looked over you and smiled, unable to tell you no.

"Sounds like a plan."

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader fic #spencer reid x you #spencer #spencer reid x reader fanfiction #spencer x y/n #spencer reid x y/n #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds fandom

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lovelyirony · 4 years ago

Note

made up fic title: i didn't know i was lonely (til i saw your face)

i wanna get better

Howard Stark is the world’s smartest man. Tony knows this, has read it in so many newspaper articles and interviews and magazines that he could probably cut out every single time a journalist writes it and make a new fucking wallpaper out of it.

It’s permeated every single aspect of Tony’s life. The problem is that Tony looks exactly like his father did. Everyone compares everything. How quickly he builds a weapon, how fast it can take for him to churn out an idea.

His humor is the same, way of dressing is the same, and he should be the same. The world needs another Howard Stark for the next lifetime. They don’t need a Tony Stark.

(And maybe...maybe Tony doesn’t mind that. It’s so much easier, to pretend to be somebody else and have them look at that.)

Tony doesn’t make friends. Ever. Friends are not beneficial, and it’s not like they could hang out anyways. Tony reads in books about friends who go to diners together and attend movies and skateboard, but really? He doesn’t have time for that. He has to build things and study business, and get his life all sorted out.

He is sixteen when he goes to college. He feels far too young, and the kind, warm hand of Jarvis’ smoothing out his hair makes the feeling worse.

“You will be fine, Anthony. Study hard, and who knows how quickly you’ll graduate.”

“Of course,” Tony says stiffly.

“Have fun, Tony,” Ana says, grinning. “College can be a fun time.”

It’s not supposed to be fun for him. Howard told him to focus on his studies only. His whole life would be the engineering and business buildings, and maybe he would sometimes get takeout. Maybe he wouldn’t.

Point is, this is just like everything else in his life: the goal was to be exactly like Howard. Graduate top of his class, blow the world away, and have a glass of scotch after a job well done. (Or gin, or whiskey, or hell...all three.)

Rhodey was not a factor. At all.

Tony had thought that his mother had paid extra to make sure her son had a room all to himself. Not out of a desire, no: out of necessity. Can’t have daddy’s little prodigy revealing anything.

And maybe she meant to, but he’s not going to question it. Not when he’s just been staring.

“Hey man,” the guy in the room says. The name-tag on the door says “Jim.”

“Hey,” Tony says. “Good to...sorry. I just...I wasn’t expecting anyone here.”

“Last minute decision. My room decided to burst a pipe. Technical difficulties. They say they’re gonna get it fixed as soon as possible. That a problem for you?”

There’s more to the eyebrow raise, more to the tone. Jim isn’t going to take shit, and he knows who Tony is. He saw it in how his eyes widened for a moment.

Tony likes him. He doesn’t know how it’s going to go later, but for now: Jim is a likable guy.

“Not at all.”

To get used to sharing is definitely interesting. Tony has to get used to a lot, which isn’t a bad thing, but he wasn’t expecting to have to tiptoe at three a.m. while making ramen because Rhodey has something called a “sleep schedule to maintain.”

Tony doesn’t know what the hell that is, but he doesn’t like it.

Jim plays a lot of records, which is...odd. Tony’s never really been one for records, mainly because he’s future-thinking. But the way that Jim smiles when he hears a song and tells Tony a little anecdote about his father’s dancing in the kitchen? That’s good.

So Tony buys some records, and falls in love with one band in particular: AC/DC. He can’t get enough of it.

Jim, apparently, can.

“Oh my god,” he groans, entering their dorm room. “Are you still playing that band?”

“They’re amazing, Jim-Jam,” Tony says, turning it down a bit. “Besides, I thought your bio lab lasted for another hour.”

“It was supposed to, but one of the sorority girls got too flustered with a fraternity guy and then things caught fire.”

“Boo,” Tony says, frowning. “It’s the worst when a lab catches on fire.”

Tony is not expecting Jim to invite him anywhere, take him anywhere. After all, that’s not what school is for, and Tony’s not exactly the world’s best roommate. Besides, their RA said that they didn’t have to be friends, they just had to be good roommates.

(Tony remembers this whenever he forgets to put away his ramen bowl.)

But Jim invites him to a restaurant with a couple of his buddies from ROTC.

“It’ll be fun,” he says, smiling. “Besides, you never go out.”

There’s a reason for that, although people here aren’t really “fanatical” about Tony, thank god.

The dinner turns out to be terrible, because all of the guys just want to talk about Tony’s dad.

“How did he end up getting the better reaction timing on the new pistol, the Stark 77?” A guy named Terry asks.

And Tony freezes.

That wasn’t Howard’s. That was his.

Jim must’ve seen something on his face.

“I, uh, I guess it must’ve just been something with the screw-in method during assembly,” Tony says weakly. “If you’ll excuse me, I just realized I have something to do at home.”

Howard’s been using his designs. No credit.

He spends about ten minutes on the phone. It amounts to this sentence:

“Without me, boy, you’d be nothing. Who do you think paid for school? Private tutors? Advanced textbooks? Who, yourself? Don’t be ridiculous.”

Tony’s red-faced, and the phone gets hung up, and he stares out at the sky for maybe way too long. He forgot his ID to swipe back in, and has to launch little bits of rock at what he thinks is his and Jim’s window.

Jim brings him up and sits with him on a bed.

“I’m fine, honestly.”

“No, you’re really not. Tony, you’re a terrible liar.”

And he is, really. He can lie about so many things, but family and his state of mind are a bit harder nowadays.

He gets hugged.

That’s...holy shit, that’s new. He’s not sure the last time he got hugged by someone he liked. Jarvis tended to like the shoulder-pat, and Ana...well, she loved to hug him, but it had been a while. (Maria and Howard, he was quite sure, had skipped the ‘human emotional intimacy’ section of life.)

“Your dad sucks,” Jim mutters. “Just so you know.”

“I know. I know.”

From then, they become friends. Tony is wondering if its pity. He asks Jim as such. He snorts.

“Tony, I don’t make friends out of pity. I’m not that kind of guy. If we were friends out of pity, I’d be moving out next semester.”

Tony smiles.

He learns how to do friend things. They have a sleepover complete with the greasiest pizza possible, video games, and at least one debate over Star Wars.

(It’s about whether or not the skeletal structure of Jabba the Hut holds up in truth, and how density of space affects him on different planets.)

Tony, somehow, starts calling him Rhodey. It sticks, and Jim doesn’t complain.

Rhodey’s sweaters slowly become Tony’s, and Rhodey teaches Tony all about casual affection.

Hugs before class, kisses on the forehead, and more than enough teasing to last three lifetimes or more.

Come May, everyone’s abuzz with summer plans. Tony, however, is dreading it. Rhodey lives in Virginia, and Tony lives in New York. His mother wants him to live in their summer home in California.

“Oh come on, I know that you’ll have to visit me,” Rhodey says, grinning. “Tell your mom it’s a business trip or something.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were corrupting me,” Tony says haughtily. Half his wardrobe is packed up, and he’s just waiting on Jarvis with the car.

“Of course I am, gotta train you for when you liaison with the government for army contracts.”

Tony laughs loudly.

“Ah, so true. I’ll mark it down as heir-apparent training with my dear, drastically old father.”

Rhodey nods, grinning.

Tony’s leaving a day earlier than Rhodey is.

He hopes he comes back a day earlier.

After all, you can’t wait until you see your friend again.

#howard stark is a stinky stinky man #absolutely do not vibe with him #and yes i was going to make this romantic rhodeytony but i think friendship is equally important #rhodeytony #ironhusbands #i just like how easily they can fit together and i am slowly falling more in love w this ship #thank u ava!#lovelyirony writes #tony stark #rhodey #iron man #war machine

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bowsie22 · 4 years ago

Text

Pingxie Collection 1

Summary: Floral Note had some odd customers.

If you had told Xiao Hua ten years ago that he would be delaying a tomb raid due to a wedding he would have laughed. It’s not even his wedding for god’s sake! Pangzi shrugged, completely unapologetic.

“Sorry. But Hei Fen’s wedding is in three days and I promised her a red velvet cake.”

“And Xiaoge?”

Pangzi gestured to the flower shop section where the older man, sticking out slightly amongst the colours in his all black clothing, was concentrating on the bouquet in his hands.

“Xiao Hua, how dare you? Xiaoge is making the bride’s bouquet. You can’t ask him to stop now when he’s in the zone.”

Groaning, Xiao Hua allowed his upper body to slump onto the counter top. Feeling sorry for the younger man, Pangzi patted his shoulder, trying to offer some comfort.

“If you want the two of us, you know who to talk to.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At eighteen, Wu Xie realised he didn’t want to be involved in his family businesses, any of them. He was too soft. And seemingly a bad luck charm, he didn’t want to imagine what would happen to him in those tombs. And after a few months of thinking, the young heir realised he wanted to open a flower shop. Or a café. Or both.

And so Floral Note was born. A flower shop/café combination, it became very popular very quickly.

Not that Wu Xie abandoned the family business entirely. He was, after all the heir to his grandfather’s notebook, an encyclopaedia of Chinese history and its tombs and their traps. Wu Xie wouldn’t keep all that knowledge to himself, not when he knew it could help his friends. So, the notebook was hidden in a secret safe, in a secret compartment, in a secret room behind the café’s freezer. Here, his uncles and friends would meet to arrange their tomb raids and look through the notebook.

It was also here that Wu Xie met Pangzi and Xiaoge, who quickly became integral parts of the small business. Pangzi, having tasted Wu Xie’s attempts at cookies, quickly took over the kitchen, declaring that he couldn’t let such an innocent sweetheart go bankrupt just because he didn’t know the different between baking soda and baking powder. Xiaoge was a surprise. He spent a few days in the corner of the shop, eyes following Wu Xie, slightly creeping the young man out. He stepped in to help when Wu Xie got overwhelmed with two weddings and seemed to have a natural talent for flower arranging (and if Wu Xie found small cut flowers in his pockets or behind his ear, he wasn’t going to tell Xiaoge to stop. Especially when the meanings of those flowers changed from thank you to I love you).

Which led to today. When not in tombs, Pangzi and Xiaoge could be found in the Floral Note. Pangzi’s creations received rave reviews and everyone loved Xiaoge’s work. Honestly, Wu Xie wasn’t sure that he’d be half as successful without them. But it did lead to some problems.

“Wu Xie, you don’t understand. This is a massive tomb and the Wangs have shown an interest. Like a big interest. They’re swarming it.”

“And you want to go in there? Are you insane?”

“We have to! Whatever they’re this interested in can only mean trouble for the Nine Families. Please. I will go to my knees.”

Wu Xie was too nice for his own good. Placing the buttonhole arrangement on the counter, he looked over his friends. Xiao Hua stood before him, Xiaoge and Pangzi behind him, all three looking slightly desperate. He knew that keeping Xiaoge and Pangzi away from tombs for too long was a bad idea. They got…tetchy. Wait, something was wrong with this picture. Wu Xie counted again. There were three men in front of him. Trying not to laugh, Wu Xie cleared his throat.

“Xiao Hua, where’s your shadow?”

From the kitchen, the group heard something fall to floor followed by hushed swearing. Wu Xie broke, laughing as Pangzi ran screaming towards the kitchen, Xiao Hua following him.

“HEI YANJING!! IF YOU’VE TOUCHED THOSE CUPCAKES, I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY!!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five minutes later, Heiye was deposited at one of the café’s tables, Xiao Hua tossing him some napkins to wipe away the icing around his mouth. Heiye finished his fourth cupcake, mourning the fact that he didn’t get a chance to taste test the cookies. Pangzi slammed a hand on the table.

“I never asked you to taste test anything! Hours of work gone. Tomorrow’s stock, gone. All because of your greedy, skinny ass!”

Wu Xie tugged Xiao Hua away from the table, trusting Xiaoge to stop any violence that might occur (possibly a bad idea. Xiaoge was just as likely to let Pangzi and Heiye fight just to see what would happen).

“On second thoughts, you can take them.”

“Seriously? Are you sure?”

Looking back at Pangzi, turning a dangerous shade of red as he shouted at Heiye, Wu Xie nodded.

“Yeah, I think Pangzi needs to blow some things up.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pangzi always felt better after a tomb. Baking and flowers were all well and good, but sometimes a man needed to punch something in the face, or blast a hole through a wall. Looking at Xiaoge though, he was glad that they never spent too long away from Floral Note. It was almost like the longer Xiaoge was separated from Wu Xie, the quieter and more withdrawn he became. He pulled up behind the shop, quickly climbing out of the car. He had left enough stock for the week and very clear instructions on what to do if they ran out. But Wu Xie and kitchens did not mix well. He unlocked the door into the kitchen, freezing when Xiaoge gripped his shoulder, pulling him back into the alley.

“Xiaoge, what’s wrong?”

“I smell blood.”

Pangzi knew what to do. Xiaoge entering the kitchen as Pangzi went to the boot of the car, taking his gun from his bag, checking the bullets. Nodding to the older man, Pangzi followed Xiaoge through into the shop. They split apart, Xiaoge going to the flower shop, Pangzi looking around the café. The place was destroyed, tables, chairs and vases knocked over, water on the floor, flowers trampled. He tried to avoid looking at the blood streaks on the wall and floor. Pangzi wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was scared. Something had happened to Wu Xie and it was bad.

“Pangzi.”

The sound of Xiaoge’s voice scared him more. Pangzi had never heard him sound like that before. He sounded scared, a noticeable shake in his voice. Approaching Xiaoge, Pangzi realised that the older man was trembling, whether from anger or fear he wasn’t sure.

“What is it?”

Xiaoge threw something at his chest, Pangzi scrambling to catch it. Dog tags, silver with a red phoenix engraved on the back along with an ID number. He knew what that meant.

“Wangs. Did they get the notebook?”

“No, I checked when you were getting your gun. But they have Wu Xie. Who knows the book off by heart.”

Pangzi swore, knowing that didn’t mean anything good. But looking at Xiaoge, tears on his face, jaw set, Pangzi knew that Wu Xie wouldn’t be with the Wangs for very long.

#pingxie #wu xie #zhang qiling

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lwilson · 4 years ago

Text

the day of the round brown

The cattle truck rattled along the rutted road shaking us about like dice in a Yahtzee cup. I was standing in a sea of crew cuts and camouflage wondering what in the hell I had gotten myself into. There were no poles or guard rails for us to hold on to so we swayed back and forth like wheat in an open field. We were strangers, young men crammed into the back of a cattle truck like pigs, or cows being led off to slaughter. A sense of doom hung like storm clouds over us.

“What in the hell was I thinking,” I thought as I looked around at the scared young faces, their nervous hands fidgeting stuffed in pockets only to be pulled out seconds later. Our restless feet shuffling, anxious twitching grins, and racing minds. I was scared too, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t. It’s the not knowing that scares you, the not knowing what to expect or what is expected of you. We didn’t know where we were going or who would be waiting for us when we got there. For five days the military experience had been nothing more than doing a little police call(Standing in a straight line and walking shoulder to shoulder picking up trash), I still don’t know why they call it that, but that’s what it’s called for whatever reason. We had our pictures taken for our military IDs, received our dog tags, learned to march, and filled out paperwork, and for the most part that was about it. I remember thinking,

“If this is the Army, I should have done this a long time ago.” Of course, that wasn’t the real Army. We were at the wait station being processed into the real Army. Unbeknownst to us, they were breaking us down into groups and deciding what battery (An artillery unit is called a battery), each man would belong to and who the Drill Sargeant of that unit would be. We had been treated fairly well and had basically been left alone for five days aside for police calls, morning, noon, and evening formations, and chow time. We had been lulled into complacency. Reality finally caught up to us on a cool autumn afternoon. The sky was tropical water blue, with just a few wispy clouds floating aimlessly overhead. I remember it like it was yesterday. We were called to formation, and I remembered thinking,

“I wonder what Alan is up to right now?” I smiled a little and thought how wrong Alan had been for not joining up with me, we could have come in together on the buddy system because as far as I could tell the Army was going to be great.

Corporal Thigpen, a lean, dark-skinned young man in his mid-twenties stepped to the front of the formation and told us to fall in, and we all snapped to attention. I don’t remember the short speech he gave, but the jest of it was that we would be moving on to where we would be starting our basic training. Playtime was over. He marched us around the squat puke green buildings to the parade field where the cattle truck sat, blinding silver and shining under that pale Oklahoma sky. We stood there with our jaws unhinged and mouths gaping not fully understanding what was happening. I turned and looked at Corporal Thigpen, his face was a blank slate, he looked through me, he had already mentally moved on to the incoming recruits that would arrive after we were gone. I felt alone, scared, and trapped.

An overwhelming urge to run swept over me. I looked around at the mosaic of young faces surrounding me and saw the same desperate and confused looks In many of their eyes. I thought of my father and what he would have thought. He must have felt the same when he was young and in the Air Force and he had more than managed to have gotten through it and so would I. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths, then opened them and prepared myself for whatever would come.

We were marched the two hundred feet to the cattle truck, a shimmering block up on a small hill about one hundred yards away. The trailer had twelve-inch rectangle slots cut out on both sides for air and a swinging double door in the rear. One way in and one way out. Although we were standing in front of it, it still hadn’t dawned on us that this was our transport. Most of us had never seen a cattle truck let alone ridden in one. This would be the first of many. As we stepped timidly aboard our cattle truck the man sitting with his legs crossed and hat down over his brow went almost unnoticed.

He never peeked up from under the rim of his round brown to see the commotion going on around him or uttered a sound. He was there while not being there. I didn’t notice him until I was standing near the back squished between a trembling fat kid we would later call Pillsbury because he reminded us of the Pillsbury doughboy and a slightly older Spanish dude who looked like he might have been a former gangbanger. I forget his name now, but I do remember him being tough, but one of the nicest guys I had ever met. I wish I could remember his name, but I guess it’s just one of those things time steals away from you along with faces and certain places, taking away the whole leaving only an imprint of what was.

To my right, I could hear Pillsbury muttering something under his breath, a prayer, his mother’s name, I don’t know. I turned and looked at him and could see tears filling his lower lids. I quickly turned away not wanting to embarrass him and met the gaze of the Spanish guy, his eyes were wide with alarm, but I didn’t see fear. He gave me a slight shrug, I shrugged back then we both retreated into our own little worlds.

The air was dense and silent and smelled of sweat and nervous farts that hung like cigarette smoke over us. The cattle truck was cramped and stuffed neck-deep with nervous jittery young men with shaved heads and wearing crisp new BDU’s (Battle Dress Uniform), with armpits damp and foreheads shining from anxious sweat. Our eyes were wild and darting about like we had been dropped into total darkness in unfamiliar surroundings. But there was light, which in my opinion only served to make the trip more ominous. In the dark, you may hear but you never see the dread that sneaks up and attacks you, then devours you, and finally claims you. Our collective dread sat near the front, and he was plain to see. He was a silent nodding man none of us had ever seen before.

He sat as silent as time with his head lowered, his eyes shielded by the brim of his drill sergeant’s hat, the fabled Round Brown as they were called. He sat like an old western gunfighter napping in front of some long-forgotten saloon with names like Sally’s, or Miss Calamity. Round brown’s legs were kicked out in front of him and crossed at the ankles the tips of his jump boots glistened in the dim light like patent leather. His arms were folded across his barrel chest and his head bobbed loosely on his neck as we passed over rough and bumpy terrain. He wanted us to believe that he was asleep, but he wasn’t, and we knew it, and I believe he knew we knew it. The cattle truck rambled on.

The trip lasted about ten minutes then we crossed some railroad tracks, and for the first time, the nodding man seemed to take notice of us. He looked out over the sea of young faces staring anxiously back at him. He stood up and straighten his round brown on his head and as he did the cattle truck rolled to a stop. We had arrived at Fort Sill, and this was the very first day of Basic Training.

“Well,” round brown said with a sinister smile, “Welcome to hell ladies.” He opened the side door of the cattle truck and stepped off. The back double doors of the cattle car flung open and as far as you could see there was nothing but Drill Sergeants, screaming at the top of their lungs for us to get our useless, lazy asses off their cattle truck.

“You have five seconds to get your useless asses off my truck and four of them are already gone,” I will never forget hearing that, or the chaos that ensued after that. Duffle bags being flung in every direction, Drill Sargeant’s inches from your face screaming at the top of their lungs calling you things I wouldn’t dare repeat in this piece. It was a harrowing experience that seemed to last forever. Although I was experiencing it I was able to step out of myself to observe what was going on around me. Things go quiet for me and I can watch without the distraction of sound. It’s always been my way of dealing with overly stressful situations. As I hurried about gathering my thrown things I observed the reaction of some of the other young men I arrived with. Pillsbury just froze. He was surrounded by three or maybe four drill instructors who were all up in his face screaming obscenities at him about his weight, his face, you name it, if it was hurtful they screamed it at him.

“You fat sonofabitch,” One yelled.

“Your fat ass looks like the Pillsbury doughboy,” the Round brown that rode over with us yelled at him.

“ You got more meat on your ass then my wife,” Another drill instructor patted him on the behind and laughed.

“Mine too,” another drill instructor laughed.

Pillsbury stood there trembling on the verge of tears unable to function which only served to spur them on. Scenes like this were playing out all around me.

The Spanish guy I saw on the cattle car moved about ignoring the insults being hurled at him.

“Where you from cholo,” the drill sergeant demanded.

“L.A.,” he answered as he picked his duffle bag up.

“You think you talking to one of your gangbanging ass friends,”

“L.A. Sargeant,” he said unfazed.

“Drill Sergeant,” the drill sergeant screamed pointing at his round brown, “You’ve got to be a bad motherfucker to get one of these, you a bad motherfucker Cholo?”

The Spanish guy shook his head.

“ Speak,” the drill sergeant screamed as he took a step closer to the Spanish guy.

A drill sergeant stepped in front of me blocking my line of sight. It was drill sergeant Kelly, a young black man of about twenty-five. His skin was coal-black, and his eyes were the color of good bourbon. His lips were drawn tight almost into a pucker and his jawline was as sharp as a barbers razor. He was tall and lean with a uniform as clean and crisp as any I’ve ever seen. The tips of his jump boots shone like glass. His Round brown drill sergeant’s hat sat tilted forward with the brim resting just above his eyebrows. He stood there with his hands on his hips sizing me up.

“What the hell you looking at son,” he asked in a raspy smokers voice.

“Nothing,” I answered.

“Where you from Private,” he asked.

“Michigan sir,” I answered stiffly

“ I work for a living son,” he exploded, “ Don’t ever call me sir. I’m a Drill Sargeant, you understand me?”

“Yes, Drill Sergeant.”

“What part of Michigan… wait, let me guess,” he stepped back and looked me over for a second,

“I bet dollars to doughnuts your dope selling ass is from Detroit, you from the “D”, he asked mockingly.

“Yes, Drill Sergeant,”

“Well I’ll be a sissy without a fur coat,” he turned to a few nearby drill sergeants, “We’ve got us a real-life Detroit gangster here.”

The other Drill Sergeants swarmed and I found myself standing in the middle of four Drill Sergeants hurling insults at me. I remember thinking,

“Alan was right. I’ve made a huge mistake. There is no way I will be able to deal with this for thirteen weeks.”

After a few weeks of starting basic training, I begin to see a pattern.There was a method to the Drill Sargeant’s madness. The badgering and insults aren’t personal. First, they have to see how mentally tough you are, second, it’s part of the stripping down process. The process of stripping away the civilian in you so that they could build you back up as a soldier. The insults were targeted I noticed, an example, If you were from the south they hurled incest insults at you. If you were from a big city like Detroit, New York, Chicago, you must have been a gang member. If you were overweight, fat insults were coming your way, overly handsome, homosexual insults. When you read this you have to remember that these events happened in the eighties and things that might be unacceptable today were quite acceptable back then.

Basic Training

They call it culture shock. The transformation from civilian to soldier. The process isn’t always a smooth one. For some, the transformation happens almost overnight, for others, the process can be bumpy almost to the end of the training. The first day we were broken down into the units we would be in for our basic training. I was in Bravo Battery along with the Spanish guy and a few other guys I had arrived with. Drill Sargeant Kelly and his team would be Bravo Battery’s drill instructors. Pillsbury ended up in Alpha Battery, and the Drill Sargeant from the cattle truck would be their drill instructor. Throughout our training Alpha and Bravo competed for the top spots in our training exercises. To my surprise and the surprise of many, even to himself, I think, Pillsbury over the weeks blossomed into one of the best soldiers in his unit. He was losing weight, his confidence was on the rise, it was an amazing thing to see.

The first few weeks of basic training were pretty tough, tougher than I would have ever imagined. It wasn’t the physical aspect of the training that made it difficult for me. I was a former football player and at the time I was in the best shape of my life. The psychological aspect of basic training was the hardest for me. The never-ending shouting and beratement, the isolation, the not knowing what to expect for one moment to the next, being away from family and friends. These were the things that weighed heavily on me. It had been weeks since I last talked to Alan and I would wonder what he was up to? What was going on in the neighborhood? I thought of my parents, and how I was unable to say goodbye to my mother, and how badly my leaving must have hurt her and my father although my father would never say so. I was thinking of my girlfriend and being away from her, would she wait? She did, but at the time I couldn’t worry about that. I was thinking of all the things that made being away from home harder than it needed to be. Finally, I decided that the best way to get through basic was to not think about home and what I was missing by not being there. No one had forced me to join the Army, I had to remind myself that I did it for the opportunity serving would afford me and my girlfriend when I got out and we got married. So, I forced all thoughts of home to the back of my mind and focused on becoming the best soldier I could be. Change never comes easy and being transformed from one thing into something else is no easy task. Residual resistance to the past makes changing for the future hard.

But, the change did come. As the weeks rolled by we began to gel as a unit and before we knew it a ragtag bunch of young men from across the country and from many different cultures and backgrounds was standing shoulder to shoulder becoming a cog in the awesome machinery that is the United States Military. We were Thirteen Bravo’s, a field artillery unit, and we trained on M110 8 inch (203 mm) Self-Propelled Howitzer which was responsible for firing long-range HE( High Explosive) rounds downrange. During this time I was appointed Platoon Guide(PG) by Drill Sargeant Kelly. The PG answers to the drill instructors directly. In each unit, you have a PG, an assistant PG, and five or six-section chiefs all recruits. The Drill Sergeant tells the PG what needs to be done and the PG relays the instructions down to the assistant PG and section chiefs. Each section chief is responsible for five or six recruits. If any of the orders relayed by the drill instructors are not done or are done incorrectly the PG is held responsible. It was not a responsibility I wanted but I accepted it.

I’ve never seen myself as a person that needs to be a leader, or who needs to be out front giving orders. It doesn’t bother me either way, but if I had my choice I would rather ease into the background and let someone else take up the mantle, that’s why I find it so incredible that I’ve always been put into leadership positions.

My McFarlene Problem

David McFarlene was a problem. He was this big, not muscular guy from the upper peninsula in Michigan who was simply not cut out for soldiering. When he moved it was like watching someone whose pieces were not quite put together right. His movements were loose and jerky, and when he walked he leaned forward like he would tip over and fall at any moment, his thick neck was extended in some funny uncomfortable looking position holding up his oddly undersized head.

Before I became PG I had barely noticed the large clumsy guy with the slack jaw and dull hazel eyes. Why would I, he wasn’t my problem. The only time I took note of McFarlene was when he was being chewed out for doing something wrong that he should have learned how to do right weeks before. This guy had no coordination, for whatever reason he couldn’t get marching down. Marching is basically walking. You start with the left foot and if you’re turning left you planted your right foot and if your turning right you do the opposite, simple I thought.

Our unit spent many a day after the regular day of training was over on the parade field being hammered by drill sergeant Kelly and his guys because McFarlene who for whatever reason couldn’t catch on to walking in time with the rest of us. This did not make McFarlene popular with the other guys in the unit. It wasn’t long before I began to hear guys talking about giving old McFarlene a blanket party(A beating). I would have felt bad for the guy, but I didn’t. McFarlene was a huge jerk and undercover racist. He didn’t care that because of his lack of effort the rest of us were suffering. When he should have been practicing McFarlene would be on his bunk sleeping or walking around telling off-colored or racist jokes. It didn’t take long before the rest of the guys black and white had felt that they had waited long enough and it was time to give “Baby Huey”, as some of the guys called him the beat down he had coming his way. We stood around in the laundry room which was around the back of the barracks and took a vote. One by one the guys raised their hands in favor of giving McFarlene a blanket party.

J.D. Kidder, was a small womanish man with a squeaky bird-like voice was another guy that simply couldn’t get his act together and was causing the unit extra heartache and they wanted to vote on giving him a blanket party as well. For McFarlene I voted yes. In hindsight, I’m not proud of it, but I was eighteen and the guy was a racist and at the time I thought he had it coming. Kidder, on the other hand, I voted no. He wasn’t a good soldier, but he worked hard and was getting better. So, it was a go on baby Huey and a no go on Kidder. Neither of them received blanket parties that night because almost as if he could sense that something was going on Drill Sargeant Kelly called me into his office and appointed me PG.

“You understand that you are responsible for these guys now. They will be looking to you for leadership and I believe you can give it to them. You up to the task Private?” He asked as his eyes bored through me searching for signs of weakness. I fought to keep my expression flat, but this was the absolute last thing I wanted. Hell basic training was no picnic for me, now I’m responsible for the rest of these guys, responsible for McFarlene and Kidder.

“Yes, Drill Sergeant,” I answered. He rocked forward on his chair.

“Good, I’m counting on you son,” he said and handed me a red sleeve armband with sergeant stripes painted in yellow on it. I slid it on.

“Thank you,” I said as I adjusted the armband on my arm.

“ I’m counting on you to get those boys whipped into shape.”

“Yes, Drill Sergeant I will.”

“ I know you will,” he stood up and offered me his hand. I shook it.

“ You’ll do fine don’t worry. I’ve got all the faith in the world in you.”

“Thank you drill Sargeant.”

Becoming Platoon Guide

“Holy shit, he made you the PG,” Holly, a babyface monster of a man grinned. Holly was from somewhere in Alabama, I don’t remember where. We bonded almost immediately. We were two former football stars forced to face the realization that the NFL was not going to be in the future. I played tailback and I was built like one at the time. Holly was Six- three and built like an NFL linebacker and was as strong as a mother’s love. Holly was still clinging to his NFL aspirations. Hanging on was too painful for me so I let my aspirations go.

“You ready for tonight,” Holly asked with his eyes glowing with excitement.

“Can’t be no blanket party tonight,” I said in a low serious voice. I was expecting trouble, hell I might receive a blanket party myself for this.

“Why not,” a voice came from the back of the room.

“Because I can’t have that shit happening on my first day on the gig”

“That’s your problem,” another unseen voice drifted in.

“Shit rolls downhill and now that I’m up on a ledge, well, you understand gravity right?”

“So what, we got to let him off the hook,” Holly asked.

“No, just for tonight. Trust me, he’ll get what he’s got coming to him, just not tonight.”

“What if we beat his ass anyway,” another voice asked.

“You could do that and I’ll personally make sure that you are on shit duty until the end of basic and A.I.T. If you like cleaning toilets have at him.”

“This ain’t cool, you coming In here laying down the law like this,” Holly said to me in a voice that was just above a whisper.

“He knew something was up. Drill Sargeant Kelly knew that something was going down,” I answered him in the same low voice.

Holly was a popular guy, almost as popular as I was and if he decided on his own that come hell or high water McFarlene was going to get that blanket party that would be a major problem for me. First I would have to deal with Holly because I couldn’t let something like that stand unanswered, and that would be no small task. Secondly, Drill Sargeant Kelly might decide that maybe I wasn’t the man for the job if I couldn’t handle the guys any better than this. Quitting and being fired are not the same thing. I didn’t want the job, but I had no intention of being fired from it in the first week. No, I couldn’t let that happened. Holly and his guys wouldn’t wait forever. I had to do something to blunt their efforts. That night I didn’t get much sleep. I knew I had a day or two at the most before McFarlene was going to end up beaten within an inch of his life. A beating I thought he had earned, with his nigger jokes, and his refusing to work to get better at his job, the crude homosexual jokes he liked to tell. His constant masturbating, the guy had it coming, but not yet.

The next day I asked Drill Sargeant Kelly if Holly could be my assistant PG, and he agreed. I liked Holly and thought he would be a good assistant PG, but I also needed to make him partly responsible if things went sideways with the guys. If he had skin in the game he would do whatever was necessary to make sure the guys stayed in line and no one would move on McFarlene until I gave the word. My problem was no longer just my problem, it was now our problem, and since I was able to make Holly assistant PG he like the power and would do what he needed to do to keep it. Holly now felt indebted to me not that I would ever throw it in his face, there was no need to. There came a point where Holly was telling the guys without any prompting from me that they could not go after McFarlene or Kidder. It was also now in his best interest that they didn’t. It was a cynical move pulling Holly in like that, but for me, it was a necessary one. I believe Drill Sergeant Kelly understood what I had done and I think he liked it.

One day shortly after I asked if Holly could be my assistant PG I noticed Drill sergeant Kelly watching me. He walked over to me after training and said,

“That was a very clever thing you did with Holly, you’re smart,” he then turned and walked away. Although McFarlene’s blanket party had been furloughed for a few weeks it was not by any means canceled. McFarlene’s dance with destiny came out of the blue. We had been doing bayonet training (yes bayonet training), running and slashing at hanging dummies it was all quite ridicules but we had to do it, so we were. Of course, the usual suspects were having trouble with the training, Kidder, McFarlene, and a few other guys that were always one step behind the rest of the class. The guys were having a bit of good-natured fun laughing and joking with them. Most of the runts took the ribbing in stride and laughed and joked with the rest of us all except McFarlene. Today was the day McFarlene had decided that he had had enough of me and wanted to go one on one with the Pugil Sticks ( a stick with huge cushions on the ends, looks like a big Q-tip). I agreed and Drill Sargeant Kelly told us to have at it.

McFarlene is a big graceless man who can barely walk without stumbling over his own feet. He charged me like I knew he would. Bigger guys always try and use their weight against you. Instead, I used speed and after a few minutes I had him huffing and puffing and gasping for air, his arms and chest were bruised and I’m sure his head was hurting from all the head blows he received. He cursed and kept coming and I kept pummeling him then he did something he had been careful not to do in the presence of too many others and certainly not in the presence of any of the Drill Sargeants, he let his temper get the better of him.

At this point, I had stopped hitting him and was just dodging him laughing and joking which only made him madder. He lunged at me and I stepped aside and he went face down in the sand.

“All right McFarlene, you had enough,” I asked still laughing. McFarlene slowly got to his feet spitting sand out of his mouth and brushing his uniform off. He took a few unsteady steps in my direction and spit a huge glob of yellowish-green phlegm at me.

“That’s for your mother you fuckin nigger,” he said as he marched in my direction.

“What,” my blood was boiling. I took off to meet him. “ My mother,” I screamed at him, “You bring my mother into this?”

Drill Sargeant Kelly and several other drill instructors marched over to McFarlene and surrounded him.

“What the fuck did you just say private,” The brim of Drill Sargeant Kelly’s round brown was bumping against McFarlene’s forehead. McFarlene blinked stupidly looking around like he was just waking from a trance.

“Huh,” he muttered looking around like he was seeing them and the sand dunes for the first time. I was going to kill that stupid bastard. Holly and a few other guys had managed to keep me back.

“ At ease private,” a drill instructor yelled at me as I struggled to get free of Holly.

“Did you hear what I said private,” he asked in a sharp authoritative voice. The wind went out of my sails and I began to calm down.

“Yes, Drill Sargeant,” I answered still huffing and puffing.

“Good, fall in,” he said as he turned his focus back to the swarm of drill instructors gathering around Mcfarlane.

The rest of us fell into formation and were marched back to the barracks. McFarlene was taken over to the administration building and didn’t return to the barracks until later that evening. By nine that night things had settled down. McFarlene was sound asleep in his bunk, and Drill Sargeant Kelly was gone for the night. I looked down at McFarlene, he was sleeping like a baby. Kidder slid off his top bunk and took his place among the gathering boys surrounding McFarlene’s bunk. They were all holding socks with bars of soap in them. Holly looked at me and then threw the blanket over McFarlene’s head. I walked to the front of the barracks and sat down at the fireguard desk and wrote a letter to the girl that would later become my wife.

#military #army #basic training #drill instructor #drill sergeant

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solecize · 5 years ago

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EIGHTEEN FOREVER - PT 1.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. it all starts off when the bad boy greaser with a heart of gold, wong yukhei, almost runs you over with his beat up chevy on your way to school. your love story is immortalized through pen and paper, midnight ink and bloodstained envelopes spanning months on end. the sixties are a time of freedom and heartbreak—the time of your life. 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. lucas x reader 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. period au (1960s) / high school au / slice of life / fluff / angst 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. mature language, alcohol use, violence, drug use, light sexual references, mentions of death, themes of war, implied toxic family relationships, probably some historical inaccuracy but only if u squint 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 7.3k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. not proofread, as usual <3 all of the poems do not belong to me. in addition, smoking is normalized in this fic, in addition to slight tinges of sexism. i do not support either, but the elements were added due to the time period.

for the one with the pretty eyes:⠀ ⠀ 555-968-84 ⠀ ⠀ call me. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ (in the blue chevy in front of you)

on your side of town, graduating high school was as rare as a teenage male walking around with clean knuckles and hair that wasn’t slicked back with thick pomade. you were proud of yourself for making it this far, while all of your other friends dropped out early and had babies or began to work full time. books weren’t for everyone and not everybody could afford it. college was a long shot for most of the graduating class, or at least the ones from your neighbourhood.

“who are ya taking to prom, huh?” kunhang was relentless in sticking his nose all up in your business, bothering you for weeks on end about your date. he began kicking the passenger’s side from the backseat to annoy you further and you flipped him off with a growl.

sicheng watched the two of you with a snort, muttering something about you two being geeks and proceeded to kill the engine of the car, once finding a suitable spot at the drive in.

you rolled your eyes. “why do you keep assuming that i’m even going? why’re you going?” kunhang was your only friend who was going to be graduating at your side.

“because i can. i think that’s more than enough of a reason.”

just a fraction of the kids you knew from your neighbourhood attended prom, most preferring to hit the watering holes to party with fake ids rather than stand under hot lights and drink bland punch. then again, only a fraction of those kids had the privilege of being able to go. however, the event was a waste of time, if anyone asked you.

“i have other things to worry about,” you retorted. “like exams.”

you carried a lot of pride on your shoulders. you were the only child in your household to make in this far in academics, with your mom long gone in the cooler behind bars and your father leaving this world when you were young. your older sister lived the glamorous housewife life and barely spoke to you, turning her nose up at the family that she left behind for fortune. it was just you and your older brother fending for yourselves in that tiny house that was always empty, with you constantly out and your brother always working out of state for his truck driving job.

“it’ll be a gas, c’mon,” kunhang began to pout. “i’ll even let you dance with me.” between the girls that nearly broke their necks whipping around to get a good look at him in the school hallways, you doubted he would be able to.

pretending to gag, you replied. “ew, no.” you laughed and exited the mustang to avoid him swatting at your arm.

the clementine sky was just about dipping into the horizon, brightening the small lot with warmth and comfort. chatter and laughter wafted in the air, along with cigarette smoke and the hug of youth. june’s summer beast was just about creeping in, as other attendees pulled up in miniskirts and wife beaters to beat the heat to a pulp. it was the perfect evening for a crappy movie and an ice cold coca cola.

sicheng teased, “i’m surprised you’re even making it out of that hellhole with a diploma, much less going to the prom.” he poked kunhang’s side and the other male yelped, pulling him into a headlock as the three of you walked. you rolled your eyes.

weaving through the crowd of people making their way back to their cars, you were heading towards the concession area with the boys. as always, sicheng insisted on arriving just a little bit later because he liked being parked far away from the screen.

you were lost in the thoughts of buttery popcorn and a cream soda when you stopped in your tracks, frozen. sicheng and kunhang noticed this, having just released each other in their psuedo fight, and looked at you strangely. you wanted to facepalm yourself.

you exclaimed, “aw, fuck, we’re a whole buncha idiots. we forgot!”

the two boys looked horrified, as they slowly realized what you all had done. immediately, your group scurried back to sicheng’s mustang and tried to avoid shoving into people. the outing had just begun and the last thing you needed was kunhang’s hothead smacking into someone’s jaw.

“chenle! chenle, you good, buddy?”

upon closer inspection, you could hear the sounds of thumping up against the inside of the mustang. sicheng nearly fell over when he reached for the trunk, heaving it up to reveal the red-faced younger male. he dramatically gasped for air and you couldn’t help but giggle at him.

sicheng’s body folded and doubled over, as he tried to catch his breath in laughter. “holy shit! dude, you fucking idiot!”

“me?” kunhang was wiping tears from his eyes, body rumbling with his snickering. “who’s idea was it to bring the kid?”

you loved having chenle around, your younger wisecrack of a neighbour who often tagged along with the three of you. he was an absolute ball of sunshine. unfortunately, being the youngest meant being the butt of everyone’s jokes.

obviously, the boys meant no harm, but you were the one with the softest heart between all of them and was far more gentle towards him. “aw, we’re really sorry, chenle,” you managed to sputter out between your laughter.

“why do i always end up going in the trunk?” chenle frowned, shoulders drooping. “and i ain’t a kid!”

and of course, chenle and kunhang began shoving each other, albeit playfully at the very least. you sighed and came to the conclusion that you were friends with a bunch of goddamn zoo animals and that you needed some female friends. they stopped when you yelled at them to knock it off.

sicheng replied, “sorry, buddy. you’re the smallest one, so you luck out.” of course, it would never be him because it was his car, even though he was the bright one who suggested hiding one of you in the trunk to avoid paying for an extra ticket.

“can we just get our popcorn now?” chenle had officially given up, though his pout stained his face.

you all murmured in agreement, though everyone shared the same shit eating grins for accidentally abandoning chenle in the trunk of the mustang. he continued to claim that he was suffocating the entire time, as you lost yourself in the daydream of a refreshing drink from the concession stand amid the intense humidity.

then, kunhang called your name and that’s when you realize you’d walked ahead when everyone else stayed behind.

the three boys were inspecting something on the windshield of the mustang. sicheng remained neutral, so you figured it couldn’t have been a scratch or crack or something. you jogged over to peer over at what they were all looking at.

“when did someone leave this. . . .?” sicheng trailed off, trying to remember if he saw any figures approach in car. it must have been right after they initially left.

it was a piece of lined paper, likely torn out of a notebook and tucked underneath one of the wipers. the handwriting was clear and you cocked an eyebrow. pretty eyes?

“wow, someone left a note for me,” kunhang grinned.

chenle cleared this throat, looking elsewhere. “uh, actually, i don’t think it’s for you, man.”

you followed his eyes, realizing that he spotted the said blue chevy. a handful of guys lounged around the back of the pickup, some you even recognized from school and others you just knew. there was the former football team linebacker, yangyang. your once upon a time lab partner, xiaojun. even your older brother’s best friend, kun. there was ten, who worked at the ice cream shop that you frequented.

then, there was the one who was looking straight at you.

everyone knew yukhei, but nobody really knew him. he had a shield of mystery in between himself and the rest of the world, only truly with the same four guys at all times. that’s how you saw him as, anyway. otherwise, to the rest of your town, he was the bad boy with a heart of gold, the boy with witty retorts and the brightest smile that you’d probably ever laid eyes on. something seemed so off about the way he portrayed himself to everyone else, though.

of course, to the rest of the girls at your school, he was the top candidate on everyone’s list for a prom date. you knew that enough, from the explicit whispers from girls that you overheard in the middle of class. everyone wanted him.

that’s why, if he hadn’t locked eyes with you, there was no way in hell you’d believe that yukhei wrote that note for you.

the idea scared you and you weren’t thrilled by the possibility of having wong yukhei. that’s why you immediately crumpled up the notes and tossed it to the side. he watched your every move as you did so.

after all, yukhei nearly ran you over the week before and he clearly could not remember your name.

the week before.

“are you out of your goddamn mind?!”

so, you were a little sleep deprived. you’d been up until the early morning hours finishing an essay worth a chunk of your grade, which shouldn’t have taken so long if it weren’t for the fact that you had to deal with the constant distractions that were your friends. at some point, chenle and sicheng dropped by and decided to make you cookies in the kitchen to cheer you on as you reached the end of the school year—obviously, that escalated into a disaster. you spent a few hours cleaning before you could finally kick the two knuckleheads out of your home.

that morning, you literally rolled out of bed onto the floor when you woke up. this was upon realizing that you slept through your alarm clock for school, snoozing off into the deepest sleep of your life after finishing your assignment. that’s how you found yourself sprinting from street light to street light, hoping to at least make it before the end of second period.

then, there was the baby blue chevy pickup speeding in like lightning from your left. you honestly should have heard it from a mile away, with the gurgle and sputter of an engine humming the disgusting tune louder than anything else on the street. however, you were too lost in the daze of fatigue and trying to remember if you packed yourself a lunch.

you noticed the truck a little too late, as it was a few away from you before you yelped and attempted to hop away, but ended up landing straight on your bottom. the impact nearly knocked the wind out of you and you braced yourself for the crash. thankfully, the driver had enough sense to come to a screeching halt, just about to touch you. this is when you yelled at the male behind the wheel.

the features of his handsome face knitted together. “aw, shit, shit shit—are you alright?” he yelled.

it took half a second to process what just happened, ignoring the stinging ache oozing in your backside. you took a sharp inhale and everything exploded like a volcano. shooting right up in a sitting position, you were met with the eyes of wong yukhei.

“do i look alright?” you snapped and he opened his mouth to reply, but you didn’t let him get even a word out. “you almost killed me, running that stop sign! i’m freakin’ exhausted, probably got three hours of sleep and i had to deal with my brother’s idiot cat almost clawing my eyes out on my way out! i’ve been running for forever and my legs ache like hell and i have to go to work straight after school! and. . .and, worst of fucking all, i’m late for school!”

yukhei simply blinked, staring back at your state, with dark crescent moons slapped underneath your eyes and your chest heaving for air. you were, in all simpleness, a mess. he smiled slightly, running a hand through his precisely twirled up, slicked up hair. you narrowed your eyes at his response.

he simply replied, “you wanna hop in?”

“i—what?”

“c’mon sweets, i’m sorry. i fucked up, at least let me give you a ride to school,” yukhei said, unbuckling his seatbelt. he began to exit his vehicle, gliding over to you and extended his hand. a smile remained on his lips and your head started to spin.

that was definitely not the response you expected. the only reason you went off on him so harshly was because you were used to dealing with the idiot hoods from your block, who seemed like they were raised without a lick of manners in the very few braincells in their heads. as a woman, you knew that you were going to automatically be treated lightly and built strong walls for that very reason. to have yukhei respond with such quietude was foreign to you and you felt a weight drop at the pit of your stomach for your reaction.

reluctantly, you grabbed his hand and he helped heave you up. you stumbled slightly once you rose a little too fast and you instinctively grabbed for leverage, which happened to be a handful of his leather jacket. yukhei didn’t seem to mind, though, which astounded you because other guys like sicheng and kunhang carried their leathers like their pride and joy, with even the slightest crinkle driving them mad. you apologized regardless.

yukhei attempted to steady you, both hands on either side of your shoulders. “s’okay, no worries. you kinda took a hard fall there.”

you gulped down the ball forming in your throat, trying to look anywhere but into his deep brown eyes. these were the same eyes that girls cursed for tearing into their hearts and bringing on permanent cracks. the same eyes that girls cried over in the washrooms at school. school. you were late for school.

“um, yeah, let’s. . .let’s just go.” you’d been counting time in your head since leaving your front door and knew exactly what time it was, but you still pulled up your sleeve to glance at your watch. anything to avoid looking into his eyes.

something must have creeped in under your skin and taken control of your muscles because you were not the type of person to get into a stranger’s car. alright, wong yukhei was no stranger, but he had a reputation that you were well aware of. it was just as bad. or maybe it really just because you were—

“—late for school again, but i guess i’m used to it and you’re not,” yukhei had been saying, but you were zoned out and had just opened the car door.

it seemed to had only occurred to you then, but you sometimes forgot that yukhei still went to your school. he had a distinct group of friends that he spent time with, all of which had dropped out quite some time ago. he never really struck you as the academic type and as far as you could remember, you never ran into him in the hallways or in class. the only reminders of his existence in the place were the indecent fantasies written about him on the inside of the girls’ bathroom stalls.

“you sure you’re okay, y/n? it is y/n, right?” yukehi glanced over at you from the driver's seat, roaring life back into the pickup with the turn of his key.

you thought you heard incorrectly, but then he repeated it. yukhei actually knew your name and it wasn't just because he was this popular boy that all the girls went after, but you were in shock be ause you'd never even exchanged words before as far as you knew. he seemed to read your mind and gave you a look that read "surprised you, didn't i?" with the raise of a single eyebrow.

yukhei continued as a further explanation,“i sat behind you in history class last year before i transferred out of it.”

clipping in your seatbelt, all you could reply with was, “yeah.” your eyes darted over to the way he mindlessly gripped the steering wheel with one hand, with a beautiful swirl of reds and blues staining his otherwise immaculate knuckles. he let the other one hang loose out of the window. “you promise to drive safe?”

a goosebump inducing grin, one bright enough to outshine a sun, stretched across his lips. “yeah, cross my heart.” yukhei said this, even as booked beyond the speed limit. you didn’t say anything. “to be fair, sweets, you weren’t exactly lookin’ out when you were sprinting earlier.”

you awkwardly twirled the ends of your hair hanging down your shoulder, but tried to keep an annoyed expression. “i was counting on drivers following road signs, yukhei.”

he smiled even wider. “ah, so you do know my name.”

that was a pretty ridiculous thought, there was no way that he wasn’t just teasing. yukhei had to be even just the slightest bit self-aware enough to see the way he’s flanked by girls at school. he was popular, enough so that quiet kids like yourself who never talked to him knew him. besides, you all lived in a town where everybody knew everybody and chances are, their kids come to know their kids and so on. nobody escaped the little bubble and routine that you all settled in.

something tugged at your heartstrings, though, at the way yukhei lit up.

“what’s the story behind those bruises?” you finally said, cocking your head to the side.

“hmm?” yukhei murmured, as the sight of your school building came into sight. “oh. just a badge of loyalty. you know how it is.”

unfortunately, you did know. around here, boys seemed to travel in packs and each one had each other’s backs to the grave. some found it silly, but there was an air of unspoken understanding.

“some kids from the south side give y’all trouble?”

if you had to guess, you would have probably gone with the reason being yukhei’s hothead of a best friend, yangyang. there was one particularly bad outburst last month, when you and kunhang went to the diner after school, only to be interrupted by a fight erupting between yangyang and some rich kid from the south. of course, the prep had his boys with him to back him up and bring the fight outside, prompting yukhei and xiaojun to get involved automatically. you had watched in amusement from the other side of the window with your strawberry milkshake, as yukhei beat a guy up against his own car.

“not me, my little sister. that shit don’t ever sit right with me, runnin’ their mouths on an innocent girl like her.” something in your brain clicked and you remembered that yukhei had a kid sister, only because she was in chenle’s grade and he used to have the biggest crush on her. “it’s just the two of us and our grandpa, so i feel extra responsible for her.”

that was the way your brother used to be with you, when he turned legal just before your mom got sent behind bars. you’d always have appreciation for him and in turn, you gained a new wave of respect for yukhei.

“what’s the story behind ms. honour roll being late to school?” it took you a second to realize that he was talking about you and you snorted.

you replied, “i’m surprised you asked. if i were you, i’d be scared of me going off on another rampage.”

“yeah, i’d bet you’d really get mad the second time. maybe even beat me up?” yukhei smirked, making sure you were paying attention to the fact that he’d obeyed the next stop sign they crossed paths with. you rolled your eyes.

“you’d end up just like one of them roman emperors,” you mused, watching a trace of confusion emerge on his handsome features. “c’mon, that’s from like the second week of our history class.”

yukhei merely shrugged. “i was too distracted.”

“distracted? by what, the teacher’s droning voice?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“nah, this real pretty girl that sat in front of me. so much so that i had to transfer out because i would have probably flunked out.”

before you knew it, he pulled into the parking lot of the school. before being able to announce the arrival, you’d already nearly ripped off your seatbelt and zipped out of the car, yelling a thanks as you scurried off with a deep rouge tinting your cheeks. there was still ten minutes left before the end of second period. yukhei only chuckled, watching you.

dear yukhei,

remember that first night at the drive-in? honestly, i thought you were a real fox. someone i had no chance with. the fact that you gave me a chance scared the hell out of me. you know how many restless nights i had, tossing and turning because i wanted to know why you chose me? out of the girls in the world, you made me feel like a goddamn diamond in a pile of dirt. i’ll never forget that. i’ll never forget the way you made me feel that summer, the first and last one we spent together.

love, your sweets.

after ignoring yukhei at the drive-in, you were positive that was going to be the last you heard from him. however, he still plagued your thoughts like a ghost. you had no idea why, but you knew that it scared you. it was the day after and you arrived to school early, trudging to your locker with a yawn. you thought your eyes were deceiving you, when you pulled open the door to be met with a note flying out of a random crook.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

and, to a lightning shock to the middle of your chest, you looked over to your side to find yukhei. he leaned against a wall of lockers, not even pretending to listen to the two girls talking to him. he was looking straight at you and smiled. you let out an exasperated scoff, wondering if you were dreaming.

you’d received a few more of these love poems before you decided to take matters into your own hands. or, really, it was chenle who forced you to do so. you didn’t dare confide in either sicheng or kunhang about your new admirer. there was no doubt that they’d turn their lip up at the idea of love poems, would probably go on and call yukhei some emasculating name. they also knew of yukhei’s reputation and were a tad over protective.

alright, a “tad” was an understatement. kunhang was furious when he realized yukhei was trying to make a pass at you at the movies and sicheng had to shove him back into the car to prevent a fight. it also seemed that it was so that he could find a different parking spot, away from yukhei and his friends.

although he began courting you from a safe distance, yukhei was not one for subtlety. you noticed that right off the bat when he boldly gave you his number in front of all your friends. the poems in your locker was another thing, as he was always just around the corner to ensure that you knew they were from him.

she walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; and all that’s best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes; thus mellowed to that tender light which heaven to gaudy day denies.

the latest of them, discovering the folded up note in your locker once again, had particularly swept you off your feet.

“what if he’s like this with every other girl?” you began to worry, fiddling with the phone cord in your hand.

you were seated in your living room one tuesday night, crossed legged on the ugly floral couch with a joint in between your lips. sicheng and kunhang left just minute prior, leaving you with chenle. he was watching television in your dad’s old armchair, in an identical position as you. neither of you were in the mood to go out, having being burned out by final exams. meanwhile, chenle made your house his second home when he couldn’t get a foot in his own door without his parents yelling at him for any reason they could find.

chenle snorted. “if wong yukhei wrote love poems to every girl he’s been with, i’m pretty sure we would’ve all heard by know.” he took a drag out of his joint. “besides, he only has eyes for you, even when he has other broads hangin’ off of him. everyone’s been noticin’ that the girls’ve been backin’ off of him lately, too.”

at this point, you were no longer scared of the idea of wong yukhei. in fact, it excited you. maybe it was the marijuana doing its usual duty, but you had a sudden surge of energy flowing through your veins.

reaching into the back pocket of your capris, you uncrumpled the first piece of paper that started it all. you hadn’t thrown out the note from the drive-in after all, recovering it just before sicheng insisted that you guys were to move. letting go on the deep breath that was imprisoned in your throat for what seemed like an hour, you slowly began to dial in the number.

“hello?” a familiar deep voice rumbled.

“hi,” you managed to squeak out and you gave chenle the middle finger when you caught him snickering. “i’m looking for yukhei.”

you could practically hear the smile in his voice. “this is him. who’s calling?”

“um, y/n.” you wedged the phone in between the side of your cheek and your shoulder, unconsciously beginning twirling a loose strand of hair.

there was a pause on the other line and you weren’t sure what to make of it, possibly disbelief. “oh. hi, sweets.” yukhei chuckled. “i see you’ve decided to give me a chance.”

“does this mean the notes are gonna stop?” you teased, but deep inside, you were hoping the answer was going to be a no.

he simply replied, “’course not. unless you say the word.” there was some fiddling on the other end and you could’ve sworn you heard the sound of a lighter. “when are you free?”

“you askin’ me out, yukhei?” you giggled and chenle rolled his eyes at you, throwing a pillow in your direction. you covered the phone with one hand, telling him to fuck off, before sweetly bringing it back up to your ear.

“how’s friday?” the male exhaled a little loudly—was he smoking, too? you wanted to feel a little bit powerful, so you convinced yourself that it was out of nerves.

you responded a little bit too quickly. “yes. friday sounds good.” swallowing down the realization, you proceeded to give him your address.

“good,” yukhei repeated after you, slowly drawing out the word like molasses. “i’ll pick you up at eight. see you then, sweets.”

the call ended and you sat as still as a statue. closing your eyes, you lost yourself in the daze of smoke and the thought of yukhei. were your ears ringing? the faint hum and static of the television faded out, as you leaned back into the couch with a stupid smile playing at the corners of your lips.

someone cleared their throat. you cracked one eye open and lo and behold, chenle was looking at you like you were a lunatic. in that split second, your face dropped back into annoyance and you hurled the nearest cushion in his direction.

“hey!”

“what?” you snapped.

chenle continued his earlier snickering. “guess that went well, then, huh? i told ya so.”

you put out the joint in front of you and proceeded to bury your face into your hands. your state of disbelief felt permanent, like you were stained with the thoughts of wong yukhei forever. without a word of warning, you began to screech uncontrollably and the younger male nearly jumped out of his seat.

“ahh!! what the fuck, y/n?!” chenle heaved, holding his hand on his heart like he’d been shot. he accidentally knocked over the bag of pretzels that he’d been munching on, spilling it all over the carpet. normally, you would have freaked out over the mess, but you were too entranced in the fact that you had a date with the most handsome boy in school.

that’s when chenle knew you were either: possessed or completely smitten.

the grin on your face was so wide that it hurt, but you blocked out the pain. “we have a date!” with that, you nearly jumped onto the armchair and hauled chenle in a bone crushing hug that left him without any oxygen.

“can’t. . .breathe. . .” he was blue in the face at this point, struggling to even get his words out.

you giggled and released him, patting his cheek as he did so. chenle gasped dramatically for air, coughing as he did so. he shot you a glare.

“so, when’s the day of this stupid date?” he grumbled, settling back into his spot and began picking up his mess.

returning to the couch, you said, “friday. he said he’s going to pick me up.” you once saw that chevy of his as the devil machine, but now, you were swooning at the thought of it pulling up in front of your house.

“friday?” chenle’s eyebrows suddenly reached his hairline.

you gave him a questioning look. “yeah, it’s a little soon, but—”

“no, no,” he shook his head. “it’s not that. uhh, don’t you remember what’s happening on friday?”

you began to search your brain for any important dates, like a test or a birthday that you should’ve jotted down. “huh?” you came up empty and tilted your head slightly to the side.

“that’s prom night, stupid.”

if you hadn’t been hit with a ton of bricks before, this was an entire goddamn building raining down on you. wong yukhei had not only chased you with love poems and asked you out on a date, but he had asked you out to prom. this was really happening.

you didn’t give a damn about prom night, but you knew what it meant to other girls and it seemed like you just won a year long race between the class of seniors itching to get their hands on yukhei.

he wasn’t the only reason for your disbelief, but it was also the fact that you managed to get roped into attending prom anyway, after months of complaining about it. you groaned, lying down on the couch. this meant you had to go out and buy a freakin’ dress.

my love,

there are two times in my life when i was left absolutely breathless. the first time was when i first met you and i mean really met you. i always knew you in my heart. we were about fifteen when you moved to this town, this town that i’d grown to resent all of my life. i associated these streets with violence and hatred and i wanted nothing more to get away as fast as possible. i was hanging out with ten, loitering at the ice cream place, while i waited for his shift to end. that’s when you came in and you asked me about what flavour was best. i had a crush on you ever since that day, but could never seem to work up the courage to approach you first. yeah, i’m a fucking idiot, i know. i had those other girls following me around, but i could never quite shake off that feeling of, well, you. i’d never felt so damn. . .shy? when a girl made me feel that way, i knew you were special.

the second time was on prom night.

"ah, ah, don’t open that yet.”

you pouted and put the note back in its place, nestled in between the dozen of peonys. they were the colour of the sunset, a soft peach that brought butterflies to your insides. when yukhei had arrived to your front door with these, you nearly gasped out loud because they were so stunning.

the colour was identical to the sky above, as the clouds faded into one another and touches of navy loomed at the base of the point where the land met the heavens. yukhei’s windows were rolled all the way down and you let the wind penetrate against your being, caressing the locks of your curled hair. you’d applied an absurd amount of hairspray to keep it that way, so you weren’t concerned about the wind ruining the style.

yukhei glanced over to your side. “you can open it at the end of the night. promise.” the more you saw him smile, the more charming it became each time.

when the two of you pulled into the school parking lot, you immediately spotted kunhang and his scratched plymouth. he was leaning against the hood, sweet talking his date, some girl named meixiu that you didn’t know. probably an underclassman, you had no idea. he waved at you and probably just you, as you failed to miss the way his upper lip slightly twitched when yukhei exited his vehicle.

kunhang was the only person you guys were meeting, since both of your friend groups consisted of drop outs. you gave a polite wave to meixiu and gave kunhang a quick side hug. meanwhile, he and yukhei exchanged curt nods, as the parking lot began to reek of testosterone from the stares between the two alone.

“nice threads,” meixiu broke the silence, peering at your dress.

thankfully, you rummaged far enough into the last of your sister’s things that she left behind before moving out and came out with something decent. it was a boatneck satin dress with an empire waist and went down to just above your ankles. under the glare of the sunset, its baby blue hue contrasted beautifully. definitely pretty and saved you money and time. considering your lack of female friends, it would have been a real pain in the ass to have to drag either sicheng or chenle to a boutique.

“thank you,” you smiled at meixiu.

when you opened the door to greet yukhei, he had looked like someone just slapped him. he looked absolutely stunned and began drinking in the way you had dressed up, like an angel appeared in front of him and breathed the word of god. you were just as stunned when you were met with his put together appearance. you always had a soft spot for a tuff leather jacket and calloused hands, but seeing yukhei in a tuxedo made you rethink your preferences.

“wow,” the two of you had sputtered out at the same time and after a pause, began to laugh together.

meanwhile, kunhang merely blinked at your appearance. “turns out you’re a woman after all.” he yelped when you smacked his arm for that comment. “what? just because you walk around in a miniskirt doesn’t mean you’re a lady—” you hit him again.

“a pretty damn fine one at that,” yukhei snaked an arm around your waist and you relaxed slightly. “ready to head in?”

that baby blue dress. the way you lost yourself in the music on the dancefloor without a care in the world. my god, i wish i could capture that memory in my mind forever. i was still so goddamn shy and the only way i could express my feelings was through letters. some things never change, huh?

yours truly, yukhei.

the rest of your night was just as you imagined it would turn out. some lame music, bad refreshments, and glares from literally every girl on the dancefloor when they saw who you arrived with. all eyes were on the two of you when you walked in through the doors, though you knew it was partly out of curiosity to see who wong yukhei would bring to prom.

suddenly, you were beginning to be treated different. guys you’d never spoken to for four years cornered you into conversations that you had no interest in. girls complimented your dress and not in the way meixiu did, but like panthers sneaking up to stalk their prey. you nearly finished the contents of yukhei’s hidden flask out of annoyance.

“easy there, sweets,” he said, eyes wide when you slipped him his almost empty flask.

you laughed a bit. “sorry. i’m just slowly starting to get tired.”

“sleepy?” he asked, brushing a stray curl of hair out of your face.

the two of you were leaning on a wall, silently bopping your heads to the tune of the bluesy guitar playing throughout the school gymnasium. yukhei, you discovered, was a really good dancer. although shy at first, the majority of your night was spent on the dancefloor. you were sure you picked up on a few of his moves, even. you teased him about it on your way to the back, after he declared that he was parched.

“no, not that kind of tired. i mean, like—” you gave a quick side glance to a group of girls to your left that had been glaring in your direction all night,“—tired of that.”

it wasn’t as though you were overly concerned with the other girls, but it was really starting to get on your nerves.

“then, let’s get out of here?”

sure, the night was still young, but something twinkled in yukhei’s eyes and you knew that the date was far from over. you looked over at the crowd, not being able to find kunhang. he’d live if you didn’t tell him a goodbye. you shrugged and tapped your nails against your clutch.

“get out here, where?” you asked reluctantly, wincing as you did so. the last thing you wanted to do in that moment was make an assumption, but you also wanted to set clear boundaries before the night went on.

yukhei raised his eyebrows. “i mean, like, we could go grab a burger or somethin’. i’m starving.” he chuckled, but you smiled at his response.

“alright. i’m good with that.”

you didn’t even notice yukhei grabbing your head and lacing your fingers with his own—it just felt so natural. he gently led you back to the main entrance and you couldn’t help but notice the way his muscles ever so slightly flexed underneath his suit and the way he styled his hair into perfect swirls with gel and the crystal clear confidence in his eyes and—

“oh, ho, so you ended up working up the nerve to ask y/n out after all?” there was no mistake about it, that voice belonged to your old history teacher. it was the voice you heard in your nightmares, after all. “gimme some skin, yukhei!”

the old man sat in front of the entrance, where the tickets had been checked at the beginning of the night. presumably to catch any drunk teenagers stumbling out of the gymnasium, he was the only chaperone outside of the main floor.

you furrowed your eyebrows together. yukhei awkwardly shook hands with the teacher. then, you remembered what yukhei had told you before when he gave you a ride to school. your lips parted slightly.

“you stole away one of my favourite students, you know that, ms. y/n?” he continued.

turning to yukhei, whose ears began to transform into a brilliant bubblegum colour, you said, “you weren’t joking about that?”

“why would i be joking?” yukhei chuckled.

you paused and shrugged. “i dunno. i thought it was just one of them cheesy things guys say. like you were just trying to make me swoon or somethin’.”

“what? aw, c’mon, sweets, i can do better than that!” yukhei exclaimed and poked your side, causing you to giggle and yelp.

your old history teacher rolled your eyes at the two of you. “just go on, go home!” he began shooing the two of you away like some puppies.

yukhei continued leading you out of the building, only until you stopped in the middle of the parking lot when you heard a familiar song. it was unmistakable, you would have recognized the record from miles away. he froze, noticing the way you had done the same.

“are you alright?” he stepped forward, reaching out to touch your arm.

you felt a little silly, but you said it anyway. “they’re playing my favourite song. you think we could. . .?” you trailed off, hoping he would agree.

there wasn’t a guy you knew that absolutely detested the beach boys. sicheng whined like he was in pain every time you put one of their records one. you had to basically hide all of their music from your brother, taking them away from the main living room shelf in fear that he would eventually trash them one day. yukhei pressed his lips together, listening to the song—clearly he was no exception.

“you’re into these fools, too?” he teased.

yukhei began stripping himself of his suit jacket, placing it over your shoulders and you immediately revelled in the warmth and faint scent of his cologne on the fabric. the night had fully set in and a dull chill kissed your bare skin. under the moonlight, the man looked immaculate.

you scoffed. “they have good music!” and that they did, but it was something about the group that made you sway in place and felt like you were high on love.

“why don’t we just dance here?”

the parking lot was empty save for the two of you and the countless of cars. even the streets were dead silent and the only sounds in the air were the beach boys telling you to not worry and the soft rustling of the leaves. then, there was yukhei. his same damn charming smirk that seemed to have already captured your heart, but was not nearly as powerful as the thoughts he spilled out into words for you on paper.

you automatically wrapped your arms around his neck and his hands found a place on your waist, like the two of you had done this millions of time before in another life.

dear y/n,

you are the stars.

yukhei.

#neowritingsnet #neowriters #nct-writers #nct fic #lucas x reader #nct au #nct imagine #wayv imagines #lucas imagine #yukhei x reader #wayv x reader #wayv fanfic #nct scenarios #kpop fanfic #kpop au #— EIGHTEEN FOREVER .#i had to repost ughh

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bard-of-worlds · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 5

Sorry this is two days late, Real Life problems and i almost published it but then i saw i wrote something wrong and then i reworked it. I promise that i will publish by the second weak of August the next chapter or when it’s finished to my satisfaction, so sorry and here it is; and the tag list is always open.

2nd note/ miss titled the chapter number, sorry!

@susiej1118

@elmokingkong

@silvergold-swirl

@id-dance-with-draco

@eridanuswave

@iwritelikeimrunningoutoftime

@zotinha456

@feliciakainzofspades

@miraculous-simmer7

@raisuke06

@heyitsbugette

@glasswolff

@abrx2002

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Pack Leader howled as he was carried up the street at the back of the pack, a scowl forming as he looked around. Where are they?! They should have comeback and attacked me again, what are they planning?! Okay, think this through, so all in all I have about thirty dogs, all but ten of them hunting down those heroes, where could they be?! He thought as he slashed out with his free hand and the energy slammed and exploded against a building and he smirked when he caught the scent of fear from the people within. The sound of a something falling caused him to snap his head and he saw Ladybug and Chat Noir looking down at him, a look of terror coming over their faces before they started to run away from him. “After them!”

As the dogs chased after the heroes Pack Leader reared his head back and howled, calling the rest of his minions to take part in the hunt. Above on the roof top far enough on the otherside so he couldn’t see her Rena Rouge ran, keeping step with her illusions of Ladybug and Chat Noir as they ran towards their objective. I really hope that this works guys, I really do. She thought as her mind went back to the plan they had created.

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“So everyone is sure about what they have to do?” Chat Noir asked and the other heroes nodded. “Then let’s go over it from the top.”

“So I’m up first right?” Renan Rouge said with a smirk and Carapace looked at her in concern and she smirked at him. “Relax, everything goes right he won’t even see me.”

“But we need to be accurate; we need pinpoint timing. Everything has to go right to make this work.” Ladybug said as she looked at her allies. “One misstep and this plan will fail.”

“So let’s make sure we don’t stumble then.” Queen Bee said with a smirk.

“Then first I get the dogs to chase my illusions.” Rena Rouge said. “Once they see me then I led them to where we need them for the next step.”

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As the dogs thundered down the street Pack Leader kept back, a scowl as he looked up at the fleeing heroes, something was bothering him, as he watched Ladybug led Chat Noir over the rooftops. what’s their plan? Lead me to a place where they can take down my dogs? If I send at least three of them after them then it will probably fail, but I still need to get their Miraculous for Hawkmoth, so if they have a plan I’ll just crush it and take the damn jewels from their unconscious bodies! Pack Leader thought as a grin formed on his face as he looked ahead and urged his mount faster. “Keep running cowards! Not matter what you do I will win! This is the day you fall, no matter what tricks you have dogs will finally beat the cat and the ladybug! You two can’t stop the might of the pack all by yourselves!”

“What about if there’s more of us? VOYAGE!” A voice caused him to look around as he sent a command for his dogs to track down the person who screamed out when suddenly a circular energy portal appeared in front of him and his mount went through it!

As the dogs stopped and looked around for their Alpha they never notice Pegasus looking out from an ally he had dashed to as soon as he had fired his Voyage and Rena Rouge dropping her Mirage as she grinned at what she had seen.

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“That’s where I come in; my power will handle the next step.” Pegasus said. “Once he’s past me then I’ll send him and that dog he’s riding here.”

“This is still taking a risk, no other way to say it.” Chat Noir said with frown. “If he notices that something’s wrong, that it’s an illusions then he might try and attack you, and with your powers on time…….”

“And if he does I’m on hand to do plan B.” Pegasus interrupted. Carapace threw a glance at him and nodded, not trusting himself to speak but remembering Hero’s Day and understating that they couldn’t let that happen again. “I’ll get to Rena and transport us to a place we can recover and recharge and let you know what happened.”

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As Pack Leader looked around in shock he recognized the green of the Paris Stadium and he was heard the calls of his beasts die down, causing him to look over his shoulder and see a portal close as he stare in shock. As Hawkmoth’s mask formed over his face he looked around, trying to find the heroes or anything to even hint at their plans.

“What has happened!?” Hawkmoth’s voice rang through Pack Leader’s head as his mount carried him around the greens.

“I don’t know, I’m at the Stadium and my dogs aren’t here! since when could the heroes transport you somewhere?!” Pack Leader snarled as he looked upwards and saw the dome was covered. “And the roof’s raised, I can’t call them or how can I get out of here?!”

“There’s a place to open in along the wall near the dugout on the right-side, you’ll know it because it’s towards the back near the way to the locker rooms.” Hawkmoth snarled and Pack Leader directed his mount towards the area of the stadium. They were passing the dugout when suddenly something flew out of it and hit his mount, freezing it and it tipped forward.

“As easy as I thought it would be!” Queen Bee said as she moved out of the dugout and looked at the Akuma. “Now all we have to do is get….”

“WOOOOOLLL!” Pack Leader roared as he jumped upwards off his mount and slashed down, sending energy claws at Queen Bee.

“SHELLTER!” Carapace called out as he got in front of Queen Bee and formed an energy dome around the two of them. As Pack Leader landed and looked at the two heroes he scoffed.

“What, not the two I’m looking for, what did Ladybug send in the bata’s while they stayed back and watched?” Pack Leader demanded only to be shocked as a yoyo suddenly wrapped around his whip and pulled it from his hands and Chat Noir snapped it. They stared for a few moments and didn’t see a butterfly come out and dodged as Pack Leader send another energy slash that made a gorge in the stands. “It doesn’t matter what you do, I will win here and now.”

Ladybug looked at the Akuma and swallowed as she saw how big the dog mount was and knew they had only as much time as it remanded frozen. As she saw Queen Bee and Carapace towards the locker rooms she looked at Chat Noir and nodded at him and together they charged at Pack Leader who roared and ran at them. I hope that they all get back soon! She thought as she remembered their planning session.

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“Listen I just had a terrible thought, it’s the mount the Akuma is using.” Pegasus began looking around. “Are we sure that he has to stay on it? If we’re wrong then then they can fight separate that happens then something that size in this space……”

“That’s one of the reasons I’m staying back, right Ladydude?” Carapace asked and Ladybug nodded.

“That’s also why you two have that next step in your part of the plan.” Ladybug said as she looked at Rena Rouge and Pegasus. “Once you’re done you and have the Akuma sent here, then…..”

“We got it; we’ll do it once we’re done.” Rena Rouge said as Pegasus nodded and grinned.

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As Chat Noir slammed down his staff Pack Leader met with his left arm and threw Chat Noir back as Ladybug spun upside down and kicked at the Akuma, who blocked with his right arm and she thought she saw something around his neck before he grabbed her leg with his left and threw her through the air. As she tried to get up a shadow came over her and she looked up at the truck sized dog and saw a glittering chain around its neck and went still as she realized where the Akuma might be. Before she could react the dog thrust its head at her but a shield came flying and hit the dog’s face and then Ladybug felt something wrap around her and pull her backwards. She saw Carapace grab his shield on the rebound as he ran to help Chat Noir and Ladybug hid a smile as Queen Bee helped her back to her feet.

“Pegasus was right, they can fight separately. Got a plan Ladybug?” Queen Bee asked as the dog shock it’s self-back to normal and started to growl at them. “Hopefully a good one?”

“I think I found the item. It’s on a chain around his neck, I might be wrong but I hope I’m right then it’s one of two. But for now we have to handle this one until they get back.” Ladybug said as she began to spin her yoyo and Queen Bee laughed.

“Then let’s hope they make it back before we can get the Akuma without them!” Queen Bee said as they jumped apart and Queen Bee threw her top at the dog, hitting its head. “Because I hate being cruel to animals!”

Meanwhile Carapace had slammed his shield into Pack Leader as Chat Noir came around from behind and the Akuma moved to the side and his staff hit Carapace’s shield and Pack Leader tried to come around from behind when Rena Rouge appeared from nowhere and hit him with her staff flute. Meanwhile a horseshoe hit the truck dog’s head as Pegasus appeared.

“Now’s a great time for a Lucky Charm!” Chat Noir cried out and Ladybug nodded and jumped back as Rena Rouge and Queen Bee fought off the dog.

“Lucky Charm!” She cried out and threw her yoyo upwards and a bolo fell into her hands. She looked around as her vision turn grey and then she saw the bolo flash, then Pegasus, the giant dog and then Queen Bee, Chat Noir and finally Rena Rouge. “That’s it! Queen Bee, Pegasus!”

“Ladybug?” Queen Bee called out as she jumped backwards and landed next to her.

“What’s the play coach?” Pegasus asked as he jumped backwards as the dog started to growl. Ladybug handed over the bolo to Queen Bee and looked at her.

“Queen Bee I need you to tell Rena Rouge I need her here, then help Carapace and Chat Noir handle Pack Leader and give Chat this, tell him he’ll know when to throw it at the dog! And once you have a free shot freeze him and take off the dog tag around his neck and don’t destroy it until we get the one from the dog, Pegasus you and me, we’ll handle this one until Pegasus gets here!” Ladybug said as the dog growled and charged at them.

“Got it!” Queen Bee called out as she ran towards the Pack Leader as Ladybug and Pegasus dodged the giant dog as it ran past them.

“Pegasus, is do you have a comn line with him?” Ladybug asked softly as she landed next to Pegasus who nodded.

“Yeah, he wants to know what you need!” Pegasus asked and Ladybug looked up at the covered roof.

“We need darkness to stun the dog, once Rena Rouge gets here and we trip it up bring them down the lights.” Ladybug said as she looked at the dog as

“Got it, he’s ready, I’m guessing not until Rena gets here right?”

“We need her weapon to get the other object, so wait. And when to do it is on you!” She called back as she charged at the dog and dodged and hit one of its ears with her yoyo. He watched as she fought and saw the tag and realized why they needed Rena Rouge for this.

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As Chat Noir jumped back from a strike and then before the Akuma could punch at them again a spinning top pulled him to the side.

“Rena, Ladybug sent me so we could exchange dance partners! Chat I’ve got something from her for you!” Queen Bee called out as she threw a polka dotted bolo that he caught as Rena Rouge ran by them towards the dog spun her staff as she ran. “She said you’ll know when to use it on the dog!”

When Chat Noir spun his weapon as Pack Leader howled and charged at them only for Carapace to block it with his shield as Queen Bee jumped behind him and tied up his right arm with her top. “Nice move queenie, been practicing?”

“A few times a week really, it’s a really good way to release stress!” She called back and Chat Noir went still for a second before he lunged backwards and waited for his opening.

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Rena Rouge had joined them as Ladybug’s Miracouls beeped and as she spun her staff at one of the dog’s front legs it caused it to stumble and crash to the ground.

“Now!” Pegasus called out and within seconds the lights in the stadium died down and they were plunged into darkness. Chat Noir took the time to throw the bolo as Rena Rouge and Ladybug jumped away from the dog. As soon as the bolo hit the dog’s legs the bolo grew and caused it to fall back to the ground, its legs immobilized.

“NO!” Pack Leader called out and then was blinded as the lights came on, stumbling as he brought his hands to cover his eyes, not noticing that Queen Bee had pulled her top back as she smirked.

“VENOM!” Queen Bee called out as she threw her weapon and froze Pack Leader. “The tag around his neck, she thinks that’s it!”

Carpace grabbed the dog tag and pulled it free from Pack Leader’s neck and threw it towards Chat Noir. “Over to you Cat-Dude!”

“Wait until the others get the one around the dog!” Queen Bee called out as the tag flew through the air.

Meanwhile as the dog tried to struggle Rena Rouge had partial chocked it with Ladybug as they moved the collar up until Pegasus’s horseshoe cut it as he threw it throw it through the collar. As the dog gasped for breath Rena used her staff to move the large collar and fling it towards Chat Noir who threw the small tag so it landed on the larger one once it landed.

“Cataclysm!” Chat Noir called out and brought his hand down on, destroyed both of the dog tags as Ladybug ran towards them with Rena Rouge and Pegasus behind her.

As the black butterfly flew out of the destroyed dog tag, the truck sized dog deteriorated and the bolo shrunk down in size as the heroes looked on in shock, so shocked that the butterfly almost flew away before Ladybug caught it with her yoyo.

“No more evildoing for you little Akuma!” She said as she released a white butterfly. “I’m confused, was that dog-thing a product of the Akuma or something else?”

“That ever happen before with these things?” Queen Bee asked and Rena Rouge answered her.

“I…..follow the Ladyblog, nothing like that was ever on it.” Rena Rouge said as Carapace looked at her.

“Never but……Ladybug you’re on three and I’m on Four! Let’s finish this!” Chat Noir said as they heard another beep.

“Right, together?” Ladybug asked as she picked up the bolo and the others grinned and put their hands under it.

“Miraculous Ladybug!” The heroes cried as they threw the Lucky Charm into the air. As the red ladybugs swarmed and flew repairing the damage that the attack had caused the heroes smiled at each other and turned to the victim. The person was wearing a black uniform with an open jacket over a white shirt, and around his neck was a dog tag on a chain and he had red hair that was in a mane that went to his shoulders.

“Carapace, Rena Rouge, Pegasus, handle the victim. Me and Chat Noir will find a place to recharge, Queen Bee you can do it as well if you want or we’ll be back to pick it up.” Ladybug said as they ran out of the stadium.

Queen Bee smirked and walked towards the nearest dugout and Rena Rouge shook her head and sighed. “Guess she’s going to recharge, I guess she wants to spend more time with the Bee Kwami.”

“I don’t know, I like talking with him when I can.” Carapace said and Pegasus looked at them.

“Mine seems to be a bit, head strong and pompous really, but he seems okay.” Pegasus said as he reached the victim and held a hand to him. “Let me help you, are you okay?

“Yeah I am…..wait you two, I know you! Your two of the heroes……o god, I became an Akuma didn’t I?” He asked horrified as Queen Bee came out of the dugout as Ladybug and Chat Noir landed nearby.

“Yes, what happened?” Ladybug asked with a concerned tone. The man shock his head and scowled.

“I was bring this dog to my truck when this teen started to make noise about how other cities she’s been in had better animal control.” The man said as he looked down. “I usually let such thing pass over me, but that sausage haired little witch was just so loud!”

Every hero went still, Queen Bee growling as Pegasus started to think about recent events and Rena Rouge shared a look with Carapace as Chat Noir looked at Ladybug.

“People sometime just talk about things to make themselves seem more important or to feel good. Don’t what others say or believe bother you.” Ladybug said with a smile. “A very important person told me that, I’m still trying to live that.”

“Thanks.” The man said as he felt his neck and started to look around before sighing as he saw the a dog tag on the ground. “This belonged to the first dog I ever raised with my family, it’s become a good luck charm for me you know?”

“Good luck and good day sir.” Chat Noir said as the heroes left the stadium and he followed after them.

Outside the heroes jumped up to a nearby building and Chat Noir led the stepped ahead. “I’ll take Pegasus and Queen Bee back and retrieve their Miraculous, I’ll meet you at the Tower my lady.”

“Then I’ll take Carapace and Rena Rouge then, see you there Kitty.” Ladybug said as Rena Rouge and Queen Bee both giggled until Rena Rouge looked at Queen Bee in shock.

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Hawkmoth looked up at the window with a scowl. “You’re pack might have beaten mine this time but I will win Ladybug! I don’t know what I will do but I will be the Alpha at the end! Dark Wings Fall.”

As Gabriel straightened himself he looked at Nooroo and scowled at the Kwami. “How was that possible, how did that Akuma have a secondary power, what was that surge that caused it?

“My powers aren’t supposed to be used this way, I’ve told you time and time again! I don’t know how you can turn people into Akuma and not into Champions, there’s a major difference!” Nooroo spat as he hovered there with a scowl on his face.

“So then this might be an unknown side effect of using your powers this way then. But what could have caused it this time, what was the trigger?” Gabriel mussed as he walked around the room, Nooroo just hovering as he watched his master move.

“As I’ve said before; how you have used my abilities is not how my chosen have used them, I don’t know. And all I’ve know is what I’ve learned over the years, I have no facts about how this could be possible.” Nooroo said with emotion, a rare event that caused Gabriel to step back and look at the Kwami in shock. “It could have been anything, from your own emotions about your son to something else, anything. I don’t know!”

“So we might be able to replicate it, good. Of course I can employ other means to find out what was different.” Gabriel said as he walked back towards his office, Nooroo following behind him with a fearful look on his face.

As Nooroo followed Gabriel he kept his face scared while inside he was happy, he hadn’t had to tell Gabriel that he had seen something like that before, he didn’t know the why but he had been able to keep what he thought was the how from him, and he would take whatever win he could.

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As Chat Noir, Pegasus and Queen Bee landed on the rooftop outside Chloe’s room he grinned at her as she dropped her transformation and Pollen appeared, Pegasus looking on as the kwami hugged Chloe’s check before she removed the Miraculous from her hair.

“Thanks, that was……bearable.” Chloe said and Chat Noir nodded and accepted the Miraculous as she handed it over. “Nice job horse boy, but I really hope we don’t have to have a team up like that again.”

“Wouldn’t want to steal the spot light from you Queenie.” Pegasus said with a smirk only for Chloe to hit his arm. “Owwe!”

“I meant that the Akuma needed the both of us horsey!” Chloe said and Pegauss nodded.

“Of course, the power this one had was unexpected, and I hope the next Akuma isn’t as bad.” Pegasus said as he held out his hand that she shook. “See you around Miss Bourgeois.”

As the two heroes jumped away from the hotel Chloe stood there for a few seconds more as she the heroes moved through a portal Pegasus made before turning away and walking back into her room and decided to check if school was still on for the day or not.

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As they fell onto Max’s roof he took off the Miraculous and put his glasses back on before he looked at Chat Noir. “I have to agree with Chloe, that wasn’t too bad. If you or Ladybug need mine or Markov’s help, please just call.”

“Thanks, you two really helped us out.” Chat Noir said as he took back the Miraculous and smiled at him.

“You’re welcome, but that girl he said caused his Akumatization…….. there’s this girl in my class named Lila, she seems to be a liar.” Max said with a sigh and shook his head. “And then there’s what happened to Marinette yesterday, I really should look into it more.”

“So you haven’t yet?” Chat Noir asked and he tried to keep his surprise out of his voice.

“I trusted that she would get a hearing, but with everything some friends have found I doubt our principal would let that happen. And if I hack in then the evidence could be……… tainted.” Max said and sighed. “I planned to look into what was needed and what could be found legally first before promising to help Marinette anyway I could. I owe her.”

“Why? Why do you owe her?” Chat Noir asked and Max looked away. “Max?”

“One day I went to school after staying up for over forty-eight hours…… there was thing with a napkin…… I don’t want to talk about it okay?” Max said as he turned away, seeing Chat Noir try and fail to hide a grin he kept his face expressionless and a smirk off his face.

“Well thank you again, stay safe and don’t attract Hawkmoth!” Chat Noir said before he ran towards the edge of the roof and leapt across to the next roof.

As Chat Noir jumped away Max frowned and walked back towards the door to the floor below, something was bothering Chat Noir and Max was worried what could be bothering his classmate. Could those two have finally figured out who each other is…… is that why Adrien wasn’t in class today……then Lila’s photo-shoot……. There’s too much going on that doesn’t make sense, but I can feel a connection between these events. Should I tell them I know? Max thought as he walked towards his room.

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Blocks away Ladybug, Carapace and Rena Rouge dropped into an alley within moments Nino and Alya were handing their Miraculous back to Ladybug who smiled at them.

“Thanks for the help you two, I appreciate it.” Ladybug said as she accepted the two boxes and moved to go when Alya grabbed her arm.

“Wait Ladybug, that girl he mentioned, there’s this girl named Lila in my class……. And I made a mistake posting an interview about her on my blog.” Alya said and looked down as Nino put a hand on her shoulder.

“My ‘Best Friend?’ Yeah, I’ve seen the post. I never made any noise to you about it because I didn’t want Hawkmoth to know, he might have gone after you or your family.” Ladybug said and Alya paled in fear. “I have a few ideas about why he hasn’t……… I’ll talk to you tonight around nine okay, I’ll bring Chat with me, it’s his idea really.”

“Thanks Ladybug, thanks.” Alya crocked out and Ladybug jumped away and Alya put her back against the wall.

“You okay Alya?” Nino asked as Alya put her head against her legs.

“I never thought.” Alya said as Nino sat next to her. “I never thought my blog could put my family in danger. If Hawkmoth had attacked my sisters because of me!”

“Oh baby.” Nino whispered as he sat down in front of her and hugged her as she started to cry.

Ladybug landed on the Tower and looked around before a voice came from behind her.

“Want mine too Ladybug?”

Ladybug spun around and saw Chat Noir looking over the city she felt her heart

“MI mean we discovered who each other is, isn’t that the rules?” Chat Noir asked morosely and Ladybug walked over and hugged him.

“If Master Fu wants that, then he’ll need to take mine too!” Ladybug said and Chat Noir went still as she contirued. “You and me against the world Kitty, and that’s a promise!”

“Thank you Ladybug.” Chat Noir said as he held her arms before he stood turned and handed over two boxes. “But you should get those back to him.”

Ladybug nodded and pulled him along with her. “Come on, if you don’t want to talk to him then you’ll at least wait nearby for me okay Kitty.”

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Ladybug landed in the alley and quickly dropped her transformation and moved towards the door Fu had met her at earlier, fighting the urge to look up and try to find Chat Noir. As she walked the turmoil she was feeling was shown on her face no matter how much she tried to hide it. as she knocked on the door it opened faster than she would have liked to Master Fu’s smiling face

“Well done Marinette, as good a job as always.” Fu said as he accepted back the four small boxes through the doorway as he smiled at her. “But when you came here before I saw that something was wrong, so if there’s any way I can help you please let me.”

“It’s nothing Master Fu, I…..” Marinette said and Fu only looked at her softly.

“Marinette please, I can tell that you are bothered by something, I saw that when you came to me before my dear, so please my dear tell me, trust me.” Fu said and Marinette looked at him before sighing.

“I….Adrien and I learned each other’s secrets.” Marinette said and she closed her eyes. She opened then and saw Fu looking at her with a twinkle in his eyes that caused Marinette to look at him hard. “I don’t care what you want to do, but if you take his then you take mine!”

“Oh, how did that happen? And don’t worry, I expect you two to have told each other months ago really.” Fu said before they heard the sounds of people calling out. He frowned as he look down the alley. She turned and followed his eyes and saw people coming out of the buildings, some of them going towards the dogs, Master Fu turned back and looked at Marinette and shooed her off “Call me later and we can talk about it, and don’t worry I’m not going to take away either of your Miraculous, so go.”

Marinette nodded and slipped away down a side alley and quickly transformed back to Ladybug and jumped to the rooftops. Within moments she was running towards where she and Chat Noir had promised to meet up, a smile on her face.

“So how bad is it?” Chat’s voice caused Ladybug to turn to him and she felt a stab of pitty as she saw the way he looked, miserable as if something was going to be lost. “When does he want………him back?”

“He said he’s not kitty, we’re safe from that at least. And he said that he had expected us to have told each other months ago!” Ladybug said and Chat Noir sighed and couched down against a chimney.

“Thank you.” Chat Noir whispered softly as he leaned back. With everything that’s happening, to lose him and your partnership my lady, I just couldn’t.” Chat Noir said and Ladybug winced and looked at him with symphony.

She looked at her partner and sighed. With everything that’s happening to take Plagg away from Adrien right now, that would be too cruel. She thought as she looked at him. “Kitty, let’s get back ……….there wait for me where you left from, I’ll be along in a few minutes. It’s best we do it there.”

Chat Noir looked at him and nodded, something about the way she was talking made him decided not to press the issue. “But we can talk about her there latter, right?”

“Of course Kitty.” Ladybug said and Chat Noir grinned and they both bound away on a complicated route to take them separately to the same place.

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Chat Noir landed in his ‘room’ and dropped his transformation and walked towards the door and unlocked it before going to the bed and laying down on it, Plagg flew up and hovered above him.

“Even if the old turtle tried kid, I wouldn’t go. You know that right?” Plagg asked and Adrien smiled.

“Yeah Plagg, I just need to decompress, I mean Marinette is Ladybug. My Lady is my princess, and she’s dating Luka.” Adrien said morosely and Plagg sighed as he shook his head.

“Oh kid.” Plagg said with an air of someone who had tried and failed to get him to understand something that was transparent to everyone else.

“Plagg what is it?” Adrien asked but before he could receive an answer someone knocked on his door. “It’s open!”

Marinette came into the room and Adrien got up and gestured to the bed and Marinette nodded and put her phone on it as Tikki floated next to her as Adrien sat down next to her. A few moments later they heard someone pick up the other end.

“Hello Adrien, Marinette, Tikki, Plagg. So Marinette said that you two discovered each other’s secret.” Fu said over Marinette’s phone.

“Yeah master, they both ran into each other as they were leaving and my kid realized how that was possible.” Plagg said with a snicker.as Tikki floated to him and pouted at him as she hit Plagg’s head, causing him to grin at her. “You gotta admit it’s one for the ages Sugarcube.”

“You said it doesn’t matter that we know Master Fu? Has something changed?” Adrien asked and the sound of laughter came over the phone.

“To be fair, the don’t know who each other are thing is to see if you have the spirit of true heroes, after all this time I believe that the danger has passed. You are both committed to this fight.” Fu’s voice lifted a weight off Adrien’s shoulders. “But today we had to field more heroes then every before, and Kaalki wants to go back to young Mr. Kante, and the others were saying that if he gets to do that then they want to go too. And the others who haven’t been paired with a hero want to get out as well.”

“That might be needed. If Hawkmoth ever creates another Akuma like that one, then we’ll need more help than before. And with him hunting you Master Fu…….” Marinette trailed off and Adrien looked at Plagg who nodded at him.

“I wonder if I should go and try and test a few of your choices, see if they have the spark.” Master Fu said and Adrien gathered his courage.

“Master Fu, while that’s important I have a question that I think, no that I know that we need an answer to.” Adrien said as he crossed his arms and looked at Marinette’s phone.

“And that is?” Fu asked with a note of teasing in his voice.

“Can a person use a damaged Miraculous?” Adrien asked Marinette looked at him with an inquisitive look that slowly changed to shock as she realized something. Maybe she’s making the same connection I did, good. If we can figure out who she is then we might end this. Adrien thought as he turned his head back towards Marinette’s phone.

“I I don’t know. I’ve told you after Feast that I was just a child when I made the mistake that destroyed the Order. And the copies of the Grimoire that I’ve been translating haven’t said anything about that. But I think yes, but the results would be that person succumbing to the same thing that happens when a Miraculous is damaged, it would only longer.” Fu’s voice came over confused, and he could feel Marinette looking at him with a growing sense of alarm.

“And a wish can do anything right, like ‘heal’ a person who used a Miraculous past the point of it being damaged?” Adrien asked and Marinette and Tikki looked thunderstruck as Plagg grinned.

“One of my best kittens ever!” Plagg said proudly.

Fu was silent and they heard a hard swallow over the phone and they waited for him to gather his thoughts. “That might make sense, I can see why when this began that Mayura wasn’t involved and only comes out once in a while. This is so bad.”

“Yeah, we have a reason for them to have found out about the wish, but we can’t know what they want it for.” Marinette said as she shook her head. “If a person is trying to find something and finds a way to ultimate power, they might choose to take it instead of what their after.”

“It’s worse than that Marinette.” Adrien said as he looked sick. “The way Plagg explained it the wish is about harmony, to heal someone, someone else is struck down in their place.”

Marinette gasped as she brought a hand to her mouth and looked at Tikki who nodded, causing her to pale in horror.

“So then Hawkmoth either doesn’t know about or doesn’t care.” Marinette said and Adrien nodded. “But how could Hawkmoth have found out about the wish but didn’t find out about the cost?”

“Never underestimate what people are capable of if they think they’ve found the answer to their problems.” Fu’s voice carried a trace of bitterness and regret that caused Adrien and Marinette to wince and

“He’s right kids, the number of times I’ve seen somebody learn something they wanted to know and ignore the rest…..the times that’s caused pain……. I can’t even count them all.” Plagg said as Tikki hugged him.

“And this Akuma was a lot more complicated than the others have been, even the ones that make minions.” Marinette said with a worried tone. “And if he

“Well at least becoming homeschooled might make this easier now.” Adrien said na

“Homeschooled, why are you, I thought you liked going to school?” Fu asked And Adrien looked at Marinette and she nodded

“Yesterday I was expelled for ‘cheating’ on a mock test by ‘stealing an answer sheet’ that Lila took after the test, and for pushing Lila down the stairs when she walked down and started to scream that I pushed her, and stealing her necklace that she put in my locker.” Marinette said and Adrien thought he heard a series of gasps from the Fu’s side of the phone.

“And your teachers didn’t say anything about this?!” Fu demanded in shock. “They at least let you defend yourself against the accusations right, please?”

“No. And add to that the facts that no lockers at school have locks, they never checked the security cameras and that an unknown person said Marinette took the answer sheet and well.” Adrien said drily with a scowl as Marinette looked at him before looking down with a blush on her face. “It took all I had not to punch that stupid owl and that idiot teacher!”

“And we only know this because a hacker sent me the video files that showed everything Lila did.” Marinette said and Adrien frowned.

“I can’t I just.” Fu said as they heard him slap his head. “I have seen and heard some stupid or idiotic things over the years but that takes the cake!”

“Who was the hacker, why were they even looking at the files in the first place?” Adrien asked suddenly. “Why did whoever it was known that something had happened?”

“If someone in the other classes heard about it and told anyone, that person could have told the hacker. Realistically they could have heard about it from anyone, we just can’t know. It could have been anyone” Marinette said and then laughed. “Well after all she did to do this; I guess we can count Lila out of the running.”

“And then there’s the fact that my father hired Lila to do that, or so she says.” Adrien said and Fu went silent and he heard Marinette gasp. “What is it?”

“Master Fu, there was another mass Akuma attack yesterday; well it would have been one. Something happened and it fizzled out, if Hawkmoth turns Mayura into an Akuma to boost his powers…..” Marinette said and Adrien looked on, something in him telling him this was important.

“Then that means that it fizzled out because Mayura was hit by the damage to the Miraculous is starting to affect her…. But how could he have planned to need the ‘boost’ for that, to have known when the emotions of so many people were right for him to use ahead of time?” Fu asked and Adrien looked at Marinette as she gasped and paled as she looked at Tikki. “Marinette?”

“Lila’s actions. The way that everything happened yesterday, how one after the other that led to everyone going to the locker room and finding her necklace.” Marinette said softly as Adrien started to understand as the Kwami started to glare.

“I mean I guess I can see it, she did try and isolate me from you when Kagami became an Akuma after she sent out that picture when she forced a kiss on me.” Adrien said and then looked at Marinette as she looked down before raising her head with a hard look in her eyes.

“And there’s the fact that you said that Lila said your father told her to do it.” Marinette said and Adrien looked at her in confusion.

“What about my dad?” Adrien said as he felt himself grow worried, something

“Young Adrien, the reason we suspected Gabriel of being Hawkmoth was because he had been in possession of a book, a grimoire that this Lila stole from you and Marinette found and returned.” Fu said and Adrien went still and looked at Marinette.

“The book my father said he found with my mom?” Adrien said and paled. “That’s why you thought he might be Hawkmoth!?”

“And Lila might have been working for Hawkmoth.” Tikki said and everyone looked at her in shock.

“What are you talking about Tikki?” Marinette asked as she looked at her friend who looked down at her.

“Think back to the day Lila threated you Marinette, how was she when she left?” Tikki asked and Marinette gasped.

“Wait, what is it?” Master Fu asked and Marinette bit her lip.

“Adrien knows, but when Lila came back she caused an Akuma to try and get me.” Marinette asked and Adrien nodded. “Well that was only a few minutes before Lila was Akumatized, and she walked off smugly, not scared or angry.”

“Then how could she have become an Akuma, it wouldn’t have been drawn to her, so the only way!!” Adrien said with a gasp as Plagg’s mouth dropped open.

“Are you saying that she grabbed it on purpose?!” Plagg stammered and Tikki sighed.

“We don’t have any proof about it, but if she did then that means a few things.” Tikki said and Marinette nodded.

“If she did that, that means that Hawkmoth saw or felt it happen. That might have brought her to his attention and if it did then it might have shown him she could be an ally.” Marinette said with a scowl.

“Whatever reason that he is after the wish, however he found out about it, that doesn’t matter.” Fu said as he looked at them. “For now I’ll get started to look up what I can about how to repair the Miraculous, maybe that will tell me how to help Mayura, and our mystery person if they exist.”

“I don’t mean to sound callous but should you master?” Adrien asked and Marinette nodded. “We don’t know that they want the wish to help someone.”

“I understand completely my boy, but if there are people hurt because of actions that I caused, my honor can’t let it stand.” Master Fu said and Adrien nodded. “And we can see if that’s the case after we capture them. And goodbye.”

“Goodbye Master Fu.” Marinette said as she turned her phone off. “So let’s talk.”

“Yeah.” Adrien said as he suddenly wanted Hawkmoth to attack again, or anything to keep this from happening now.

“Kids, he’s back to talk to you both!” Tom’s voice from downstairs caused Marinette and Adrien to look at each other and nod as their Kwami looked at each other and Tikki led Plagg towards the vents so they could spy on the meeting and be near their Chosen.

#Miraculous Ladybug AU/ The Law is The Law #mlb fic #lila rossi bashing #chloe redemption #adrien x marinette #miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir #ml fic #miraculous au

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bleedinghearthalstead · 5 years ago

Text

SWAT!Jay / Upstead AU

A/N: Part 3! Crossposted on AO3. Takes place right after Trudy Got a Gun, but is mostly unrelated plotwise. Enjoy!

Five blocks from their house, Hailey's phone vibrates in her pocket. When she pulls out the phone and sees the caller ID, she can't help but sigh – it's Hank.

"Upton," she answers. Jay watches her out of the corner of his eye as she hums and nods to what is being relayed to her until she hangs up the phone with, "I'll be right there." So much for a free afternoon with his wife.

Five blocks from their house, Hailey's phone vibrates in her pocket. When she pulls out the phone and sees the caller ID, she can't help but sigh – it's Hank.

"Where are we going?" Jay asks, already checking for places where he could potentially u-turn.

"Jay, you don't have to drive me there-"

"It'll be quicker," he cuts her off, "just tell me the address." And Hailey knows not to argue because she knows that look on his face that reads 'mission mode', so she just tells him the address and they're on their way.

When they pull up at the crime scene, Hank's car is already there and Hailey wonders how he beat them here, since they were only ten minutes away and Hank was still at the district when Hailey left. She doesn't say anything when Jay parks and also gets out of the car. Hailey's already got her badge clipped on her belt and Jay slips the chain with his badge around his neck. The patrol officer standing guard at the red police tape is giving Jay a weird look, but the officer doesn't stop them when Jay holds up the tape so he and Hailey can duck under it. Jay momentarily thinks about changing, he might have another shirt in the trunk, but actually no, who cares.

They find Hailey's sergeant at the loading dock of what appears to be a logistics center, semi-trailers parked in front of the gates. Hank and the medical examiner are standing over a body, a man in his late forties with a single bullet hole that sits neatly in the middle of his forehead. A clean kill. Not that much to do here for the ME.

"Hey, Sarge." Hailey stops next to Hank, peering down at the victim. Jay is looking around the crime scene behind them, studying the blood splatter on the ground behind the man. "Listen, I was on my way home, so my-"

Before she can finish her sentence, Hank turns to Jay and sticks out his hand. "Halstead, didn't know we needed SWAT support today." They shake hands.

"Voight," Jay returns, "yeah, unless you're cool with instigating a sniper standoff, I'm kinda looking forward to my afternoon off." Hank raises an eyebrow at him in question. "Distance, wind conditions, narrow angle between the trucks… this wasn't an easy shot."

"What makes you think this was a sniper?" Hank asks, intrigued.

"Well, I don't know if you've talked to any witnesses yet, so I don't know if anyone saw a shooter, but with that blood spatter, this definitely was a high-powered rifle." Jay tilts his head, examining the blood spatter closer, then turns around, scanning the horizon. Obviously looking for something, he moves to stand right behind where their victim must have stood, mindful not to step on the blood. He points at a building in the distance. "Angle suggests…" He squints, shielding his eyes from the afternoon sun with this hand. "That mid-rise structure about a klick south. Looks like a parking garage, but I can't say for sure."

Hank grunts at him in agreement, then turns to his detective. "Hailey, you wanna go confirm your husband's theory?"

And of course Hank knows, Hailey thinks. She has been quietly watching the exchange between the two men, but when Hank calls her name, she perks up. "You sure that's alright, Sarge?"

"Take some uniforms with you, canvass the area." That's all the confirmation she gets.

They get back into Jay's car and he drives them in the direction of the building that he spotted earlier, a couple of patrol cars trailing them. While he is driving, Jay keeps leaning forward over the steering wheel, trying to glimpse the building he saw from the crime scene.

"Sooo…" Hailey starts, "Hank knows."

"Didn't think he cared." Jay shrugs, still looking around. "And it's in your personnel file, so I'm pretty sure he's always known."

"Yeah, you're probably right… it's just weird that the whole team knows now. Trudy knows! And why am I not surprised that Hank already knew, but never thought to mention it to me?" Hailey frowns. "I've been in this unit for two years now and I'm not close enough to anyone that they know I'm married."

Jay raises an eyebrow at her. "Babe, you can be incredibly aloof about your personal life."

Hailey pouts. "Are you saying I'm an antisocial freak?"

"More like international woman of mystery."

"Good, my plan is working." They both glance at each other and grin.

They keep driving in silence, until Jay asks, "But you trust them, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. They're all good police."

"And good people too?"

"Sure," Hailey answers after a moment's hesitation. And she does mean it. They all have their issues, but what makes the unit work is that they all have each other's backs, no matter what.

"Then why don't you let them in a little?" Jay suggests. And truthfully, Hailey doesn't know how to answer that.

After some twists and turns, but not more than five minutes later, they arrive at what Jay has rightly identified as a parking garage. Hailey has one patrol car wait on the ground floor, telling them to find the manager in case they need to look at the security camera footage. The other cruiser follows them as they drive up to the top floor.

Jay parks and gets out, walking around to the trunk of his jeep. Rummaging around in a box, he pulls out a spotting scope. He quickly orients himself and goes to the north side of the garage, looking for an open space. A few cars over, there is a free parking spot. He walks right up to the edge, which is a half-height concrete wall, and peers through the scope. "Looks good." He hands the scope to Hailey, who, at Jay's direction, finds the logistics center they were at earlier, although their crime scene is hidden between two big trucks. "It's not the exact angle from here, but it's pretty damn close."

Still looking through the scope, she can see the crime lab techs still cataloguing the scene, but sees that Hank's car is already gone. Jay takes the scope back from her and determinedly walks to the northeast corner of the structure. He stops right at the corner of the building and looks through the scope again, then nods. "Got it." He turns to Hailey. "Roll a crime lab to our location."

Hailey nods in confirmation and relays the info through her radio. As she watches him examine the scene and then tell the two patrol officers to cordon off the scene, she thinks about how in another life Jay could've been a great detective.

* * * * *

When Jay drives her back to the district and again doesn't just drop her off, but parks and gets out with her, Hailey almost stops him. It was one thing for him to come with her at the crime scene since he was already there and she thinks that he wanted to back her up just in case, but to join the briefing? She isn't sure how that's going to go down with the team.

He is a few paces ahead when he notices that Hailey is still standing next to the car. Jay thinks he's gotten pretty good at reading his wife's mind and backtracks. "Is it okay with you if I join the briefing?"

She thinks about it for just a second, then nods her head 'yes'. It was Jay who figured out that it was a sniper and it was also him who found the point of origin within minutes. If not for her husband, they would have had to wait for hours until the crime techs processed the scene and then it would have taken even longer to find the parking garage.

Entering the district, Trudy just nods at them and Hailey uses the hand scanner and pass code to buzz them up to Intelligence. Upstairs, the team is already putting up info on the white board, Kevin sticking a picture of their victim onto the board and Kim writing down his stats.

"So what do we have on the victim so far?" Hailey skips the greeting and gets straight to business. When the others notice that she has a tag-along, they all perk up, first and foremost Kevin, who comes over to give Jay a bear hug.

Jay laughs. "Hey, buddy."

"'Sup, man? How you doing?" Kevin pulls back and they do a special handshake. Hailey can only wonder when they had the chance to learn that? She didn't see them do that at the bar.

Adam also joins the group. "Nice catch, man."

"Ah, it's nothing." Jay brushes off. "Total team effort."

Hailey marvels at how easy it is for Jay to fit into the group, almost a little envious that Jay has been able to build a comfortable rapport with her team mates on one single night out drinking, while it has taken her two years of working with them to achieve that sort of comfort level. He can be a charming bastard when he wants to.

Hank comes out of his office and breaks up the chitchat. He acknowledges Jay with a nod, then turns to his unit. "We got a dead body, what do we have?"

Their victim is Frank Moretti, the logistics coordinator at the center where he was found murdered. No priors, no obvious gang or organized crime connections, he seems like an odd assassination target. The team is going through the crime lab and medical examiner's reports, collecting their findings on the board. Jay's sniper theory is proven right, the recovered bullet's caliber suggesting a long range rifle. Unfortunately for them, the round is a .300 Winchester Magnum, which is popular in game hunting as well as military and police use.

Jay nods, "Popular is an understatement. Hell, even I use them."

When they get around to talking about the shooter's location, Hailey summarizes the report. "No conclusive evidence found at the parking garage, no notches or indentations from the rifle, no bullet casings, although we assume it was a single shot, no nothing."

Kim adds, "We're still going through the security camera footage, but no luck yet."

"I still think this was a professional hit," Jay interjects. "It's just too clean. If it was me, I would've done it from the cover of a van. Set up, open up the door, hit the target and drive off. If you know your target's schedule, that would've taken a few minutes tops." The others look at him with various degrees of alarm, Hailey included, but Jay just shrugs. "Just saying that you should be looking for a van arriving and leaving the garage within an hour of time of death."

"Alright, you heard the expert, let's get to work," Hank orders. "Upton, Ruzek, you go check out Moretti's home. Burgess, Atwater, you check out the footage and his financials. See what we can find."

The sergeant then turns to Jay and shakes his hand. "I guess I did need SWAT support today." Then Hank adds, "Don't tell your commanding officer."

Jay grins. He didn't have an afternoon off, but he was able to help with their case and he did get to spend some quality time with his wife. "Anytime, Sarge."

#upstead #jay halstead #hailey upton #chicago pd #swat!jay au #case fic is HARD #more fluff/humor next time #bhhfic

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