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bukguhope · 2 years ago

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Angrily in Love

two mafia families, two heirs. they should’ve stay away from one another, they usually do. but a new threat forces them to work together. and you know what they say; the line between hate and love can be blurry

enemies to lovers, mafia member!jungkook, mafia tech! reader, bickering, pining, angst, little fluff, strong female lead, SARCASM. light smut. tw: MENTIONS OF death/murder. brief mention of prostitution (no character does this it’s only mentioned)

wc: 20.2k she’s a long one

12 months ago

London, England

You stand deathly still, spine straight and eyes forward. The cold metal of the gun strapped to your thigh makes your skin itch but you don’t move, not one inch. No one can see you, you were certain of that but then again you didn’t dare do anything that could even possibly garner any attention. No, you kept close to the tree who’s shadow was helping keeping you hidden. Not too far in front of you, but far enough to not be seen, a coffin is slowly moved six feet below. There was no sounds of anyone crying, not even a sniffle was made from any of the small group of people attending the funeral. They simply just watched, straight unwavering faves as two men began to shovel dirt on top of the coffin and as soon as the first load of dirt fell upon the casket- everyone in attendance turned and left without looking back. You waited, longer then you needed to, before walking over once the two men had finished their job of burying the coffin. Now you stood at the end of the freshly done grave, staring down at the headstone, blinking a couple times you bent down on your knees. A small smile graced your lips slowly.

“bye father, rot in hell”

Present

New York, United States

Y/N

It was silent, except for the occasional scrapes of metal cutlery against the plates, as you and your Grandfather ate dinner. Although no words were being exchanged, it was comfortable. This man had raised you his entire life and he doted on your every move since the day you were born, he was the reason you carried on in this trauma filled existence. Being involved in the underground dealings of the world should’ve been terrifying, you should’ve screamed and begged to not be inflicted in mafia business. But you didn’t, in fact, you thrived on this lifestyle. You were smart, more so then most men in this type of business and most of them knew that. The things you could find out with a simple laptop could crumble someone’s entire life with one click.

“y/n, dear, i have a job for you” This immediately peaked your interest, dropping your cutlery you looked to your Grandfather at the end of a rather large dining table. Well, it had to be big to fill the space- it was a mansion you were in after all. High ceilings, glamorous decor and extravagant windows.

“what do you need me to do?” There wasn’t a lot you wouldn’t do for him, all he had to do was give you the word and you were on it. He reached into his suit pocket, pulling out a white envelope before standing and walking the distance between the two of you. He placed the envelope in front of you before giving you a pat on the shoulder

“you’re not going to like this love, but it needs to be done” You furrow your eyebrows at this but remain silent and open the envelope

- Codes to a locked spreadsheet your father kept hidden: break into it.

- New group started, your father knew it would happen he has information.

- You’re partner for this: Jeon Jungkook

Your jaw tightens, the last person on this earth you’d want to work with was Jeon Jungkook. The rivals families heir? The cocky, insufferable bastard?

“get it done” Is all your Grandfather says before walking out of the dining room and off onto his wing of the mansion. Letting out a sigh you flip the sheet in front of you. On the back of the paper were several computer codes and you gave a little nod to yourself before sliding the paper back into the envelope and standing before retreating to your wing of the mansion. If this is what needed to be done, then you’d just have to suck it up and do the job.

London, England

Jungkook

He sat with a straight face, looking at the cards between his fingers before casually drifting his gaze to the men sat around the table. Smoke from cigarettes filled the air and the smell mixed with the scent of scotch.

“stop looking so serious Jungkook, this is a friendly game” Taehyung, one of his closest men, smirked as Jungkook’s remained unmoving. He always took poker so seriously, always the competitive type.

“i wouldn’t call ten grand at risk a friendly game” Yoongi quipped before the men around the table chuckled, they knew that amount of money meant nothing to them. It was pocket change if anything. “i fold” He sighed before placing his cards face down and taking a swig of his scotch before rising from the table and walking off.

“what will it be Jungkook?” Namjoon asked from across the table, just the two of them left in the game and it was up to Jungkook whether he folded or risked it and raised. Of course, he raised before showing his deck and leaning back in his chair with a raised eyebrow “you’re such a cocky bastard you know that?” Namjoon let out before showing his cards and standing from the table, leaving Jungkook to collect his winnings. Smirking he left the money on the table, he’d come back for it.

“Jeon, duty calls!” One of his fathers men shouting down into his den got his attention and he sighs before standing

“funs over, don’t take my winnings” He says before going up the stairs to the exit of his sanctuary before heading straight to his fathers office. Not that it was a quick journey, the mansion was not lack in size. The Jeon estate was one to be marvelled at, Jungkook’s wing alone was enough to be classed as a mansion in its own right. But once he did make it, he walked straight in not bothering to knock as he did so. His father didn’t flinch, used to his son barging in as he pleased.

“son, take a seat” He did so, eyeing the two men that stood behind his father, it almost made him chuckle. His own father felt the need to protect himself from him, although he’d be a fool not to. Jungkook had skills that any would dream to have mastered, he was undeniably strong with a quick brain. If he wanted to, he’d have both guards dead aswell as his father within minutes. “we have a problem” Jungkook quirked a brow, not saying anything, so the older man continued “theirs a new alliance brewing, we got wind of it last week but didn’t feel it was that worrying. But it’s important this gets squished now”

“stop talking around the topic and get to the specifics” Jungkook had no time for riddles, if there was a job to be done all information needed to be given to him now so he could do what he needed to

“before you were born there was a family that were said to be the most dangerous in the world. we thought every single one of them were dead, turns out we were wrong. and when i say we son, i don’t mean just our family” Staying quiet, Jungkook eyed his father urging him to continue his little story. “the y/l/n’s” He concluded and Jungkook’s muscles tighten. Their rivals, the bane of his existence and the worst of the lot? You. He met you a handful of times, all memory of them made him uncontrollably angry. You were a sarcastic little woman and every word that came out of your month made him want to cut your tongue off. The worst thing about it was how attractive you were, he always left the small altercations you two had extremely mad and half hard. But no matter what, they’d always be bad blood between the two of you- especially after last year.

“where do i come into this?” His father took a deep breath before leaning back into his chair, fingers interlocking with one another.

“i need you to take out that last family member. we just don’t know where they’re hiding, but someone can find out and they’re grandfather already agreed to a temporary alliance” Anger arose within him, fearing he already knew who exactly his father was talking about “you’re heading to new york”

New York, United States

Y/N

You took a deep breath as you stood at the back exit of the airport, waiting on a secret runway. In a few short minutes your worst nightmare would be landing and coming out of his private jet. Why you had to come and meet him was beyond you, but your Grandfather asked and hell would freeze over before you said no to him. Although, it just might actually freeze over now it’s leader was about to land in front of your very eyes. The devil himself; Jeon Jungkook. You heard the jet above your head, you were quite a distance from the runway of course but it was still deafening. Tilting your head up, you scoffed as you looked at his jet

Jeon Air

It was all back with white writing, making it extremely obvious who owned the jet. Once it finally came to a halt, you didn’t make a move to walk over. choosing to stay by the door that led to the secret tunnels leading out. The door opened and you spot him coming out the entrance, deep black suit covered his muscles and shades hid his eyes. He spots you and you know he did because he tenses, it makes you chuckle. Walking down the steps he stops at the bottom of them as someone comes over with his suitcase, handing it over to him. Taking it, he extends the handle and begins to walk in your direction. Once he’s close, you turn and open the door and begin the walk out not even bothering to greet him. You simply didn’t want to.

“what a lovely warm welcome” He mumbled behind you and you roll your eyes and continued walking ahead, not wanting to get involved in his little game. The noise of his suitcase wheels grinding against the floor was echoing in the long tunnels. You felt him shuffle with something and you just knew exactly what he was doing, how predictable he was. Smoothly, you reach to your thigh pulling the gun from your strap and turning to point it straight between his eyes. You met the sight of the barrel of his own gun, pointing down at you as he stopped walking. Then it was a stare off, you felt ridiculous but he pulled his on you first and he did it while your back was turned- how pathetic.

“you’re not subtle at all, i heard the shuffling. you should work on that” His lip twitched, making your smirk. He was so easy to annoy and it bought you joy to do so.

“you think you’re so smart”

“i don’t think, i know” In one quick motion your leg raise, your ankle hitting his wrist making the gun slip from his grasp and you could see the shock on his face. Keeping your gun pointed at his direction you stepped towards him, hand coming up to grip his tie. “are you sure you’re a mafia bosses son? because disarming you was way too quick” Then you were pushing him, he was strong but you were quick. Now against the wall, he stared down at you breathing hard as your grip tightened upon his tie. “don’t underestimate me Jeon” The pair of you held your eye contact in silence, he could’ve pushed you away, in one quick motion he could’ve had your arms behind your back and face against the wall. But he remained still and you knew you had won this time. Finally, you released his tie and stepped backwards until your feet met his fallen weapon. You kick it and it makes a loud noise as it slides over to him on the concrete floor. Without a word you take off and continue walking, you hear him collect his gun and the noise of wheels on his suitcase fills the silence once again. Once you reach the end you push open the door and the sun beats down onto your skin and makes you squint slightly as you slip your gun back into the strap on your thigh. You were enjoying the warming of your skin from the summer heat before you felt him standing behind you, instantly spoiling the moment.

“if you’ve finished whatever you’re doing, i’d like to leave” Closing your eyes momentarily, you mentally count to five to calm yourself before walking to your car and he followed. It stood out like a sore thumb, a cyan tinted Bugatti Divo, your little baby. You unlock it before popping the boot to let Jungkook put his luggage in.

“put your shit in the boot, then get in and don’t touch a fucking thing inside” You gave your simple instructions before getting into the drivers seat, waiting for him. Looking in the mirror you see him rounding the back and heading for the door so you close the boot with a simple button as he opens the door and slides in. Wincing as he shuts the door a little too hard for your liking you side eye him. “don’t slam my doors you fucking imbecile” He gives you a look before reaching for the door, holding your stare he opens it and proceeds to slam it shut. Your jaw clenches, he smirks. “you’re lucky my grandfather wants you alive Jeon” With that, you turn the engine on and without warning speed out of your parking spot making Jungkook fly back in his seat, the idiot didn’t put his belt on.

The y/l/n Estate

Jungkook

His eyes explored the place as the grand gates opened to your estate, it felt strange. He was basically crossing enemy lines with no protection other then the gun tucked into waist. Flashes of you kicking it from his grip comes to his mind and then to you having him up against the wall. God why didn’t he push you back, teach you a lesson for putting your hands on him? Shaking himself from his thoughts he took note of his surroundings, your land seems to be slightly bigger than his own, a lavish little fountain was placed at the end of the long drive up to the mansion. Of course, the y/l/n family knew how to show off. You parked the car beside the estate, not uttering a word as you open the boot and get out of the car. Rolling his eyes, he opens the door and steps out

“slam that door and i’ll pin you against it” Your voice calls as you walk away, not even turning to his direction but you wait for him to get his stuff as you face the entrance to the home. Taking a breath he closes the door, softly, before grabbing his suitcase from the boot. As soon as it hits the ground you press your button to close the boot before locking the car and walking inside, leaving Jungkook to follow along. He argued about this, staying at your family’s mansion. All he wanted was to stay at a hotel and see you only when necessary but his father declined, stressing that your Grandfather had extended his hospitality and it would be much easier to work together under one roof. Huffing, he enters and takes a look around the place. If he were honest with himself he’d say he preferred this place to his own home, it was more welcoming. Photos of you and your grandfather hung all over the place, just the two of you. Well that was expected, he knew your father was dead and buried back in England.

“Mr Jeon!” A loud, booming voice almost echoed against the walls and his gaze turns away from the pictures to see your grandfather walking towards him from the top of the stairs. He was on edge to say the least, he was the head of his rivals and here he stood watching him come down the stairs, smile on his face until he stood in front of him. His age was evident, the full head of grey hair and greying beard. But you’d think he was your father then grandfather, he still looked young. “welcome to our home Jungkook” He waved a hand in the air and a guy, clearly a worker came over and took his suitcase from his grip and began retreating into the mansion “He’s taking it to y/n’s wing, you’ll stay there” He had to hold in the eye roll he wanted to let out, of course he was being put there. “We have a wing for guests but i think you’ll be more comfortable in her wing and it will be easier to work together” Jungkook gave a nod, not bothering to speak, he didn’t truly trust this man. There was no way he ever would, he knew what he was capable of. “Come, i’ll get you settled in, seems as y/n has disappeared” He begins walking in the same direction as the worker had and Jungkook followed, eyeing his surroundings as he did so. They reached an elevator and it was a huge one, your grandfather pressed the button and the pair entered together. It was silent as the doors closed and the lift began moving.

“i know you’re probably on edge, crossing enemy lines” Your grandfather broke the silence and Jungkook raised an eyebrow, keeping his eyes in front of him “but i promise you, while you’re under my roof no harm will come to you. i admire you actually” This took Jungkook by surprise, not even his own father said any sort of praise to him but here was the head of his rivals doing just that “you’re a strong kid, your head is screwed on right. iam happy to have this alliance, even if it’s temporary” With that the doors opened and your grandfather walked away and left Jungkook a little stunned. He took a moment before exiting the lift, his eyes widen slightly. It was like entering a completely different mansion. The walls were black, halloween-like decor filled the space, strangely close to what his wing looked like back home. “this is your room, y/n’s is down the corridor to the right. kitchen is to the left and there’s a staircase at the back leading to the land out back. there’s also a gym down the corridor opposite y/n’s room, iam sure you’ll want to take advantage of that” The man finishes by giving Jungkook a pat on his bicep, before leaving back in the direction he came from, he could hear the faint ding of the lift. Opening the door he takes it in, large king bed in the middle with black silk sheets. The walls matched while the units were bright white. Damn, he actually liked it better then his own place and he decorated that place himself. His suitcase was left at the end of the bed and he stepped in to unpack before loud music filled the wing. Turning in the direction it came from, his curiosity got the better of it and he followed it. The closer he got to the gym, the louder it got. He stopped outside, the the door made of glass meaning he can see right inside and he noticed you. In your exercise gear, leggings and sports bra, your back faced him as you punched into a bag hung from the ceiling. With music covering his sounds, he opens the door and stalks over to you- it was time to teach you a lesson. It was payback for the airport, he wasn’t just going to let anyone get away with disrespecting him. He wasn’t going to doing anything bad, trip your foot and pin you to the floor just enough to embarrass you. Inching closer, his hand raised you grip the back of your neck but it all happened so fast. Your right hand reaches behind your head, gripping his wrist as you swipe your leg into his while simultaneously pulling his arm forward. He flips over your back, onto the mat in front of you. In an instant your on top of him, blade pinned to his neck making him gasp lightly.

“you’re testing my patience Jeon” He looks up at you, eyes narrowed as you hold the blade flush against his neck. “keep it up Jungkook, see how long you last” With that you stand off him and walk over to smack a button, turning the music off before you stomp out of the gym. His eyes followed you until his head hit the mat, breathing hard as he stares at the ceiling.

The y/l/n’s Estate

Y/n

You sat in the main living room floor, beside your grandfather’s legs as he sits on the sofa behind you. The pair of you working on a puzzle that was scattered on the table. This was an activity the pair of you did often, ever since you were a teenager you’d do puzzles with him. It was nice to do this, it had been a couple days since Jungkook arrived and all you had done was ignore each other.

“i hope you’re making our new house guest feel welcome” Your jaw clenches at the mention of him under your roof, not wanting to be reminded he was now settling into your wing instead of the guest wing.

“sure am” You get out through clenched teeth, not wanting to upset him. He chuckles as he fishes through the pieces trying to find the last corner piece.

“look, you may not like this y/n but this new group are bad news. they’re a great threat to us, it needs to be dealt with and the best way to do so is with this alliance.” Sighing you nod, understanding that he was right. You and Jungkook were the sole heirs to two massive empires, you both have the training and knowledge to deal with this problem. Although you knew this, you certainly wasn’t going to be happy about it.

“sir, Mr Jeon says he has some information he needs to share” A voice makes you look up and it’s Anna, your grandfather’s wing housekeeper. She basically raised you alongside him, been with you for as long as you can remember.

“tell him to meet me in my office please Anna, i’ll wait there” You ask, standing before giving a smile to your grandfather before heading off to your work quarters. It was a floor above your wing, the top floor of the mansion, anything business related got dealt with on that floor. Sitting down at your desk, it was large and deep black, you open your laptop and jump slightly when the door opens harshly.

“it’s polite to knock” You grumble as he swings the door closed and sits nonchalantly in the chair opposite

“it’s also polite to not be a raging bitch maybe you should stop doing that” Glaring at him from across the desk, he simply stares back.

“what’s this important information you’ve found?” Leaning back in your chair he clears his throat lightly before speaking

“my father said he found out a location they could be working from, we need to chase it up” Nodding you begin going through your laptops security camera programme

“address” You state simply and you hear him huff, probably in annoyance at your tone but you couldn’t care less, you had no time to be nice to him neither did you want to.

“here” He mumbles, throwing a piece of paper on the desk, you lean your hand out with even looking up and slide it over to you. Quickly typing the address into your laptop you pull up the information and find six cameras in the area. It only takes you a couple of minutes before you hack into them and pull up the feeds. It was a place holding shipment containers with a few warehouses near by.

“ok got it” Leaning back once again you begin flipping through the different cameras trying to find anything interesting

“got what exactly?” You don’t say anything, just lift you hand telling him to come over before moving you hand back to the laptop. Jungkook huffs again but stands and rounds the desk, leaning down he raises an eyebrow “the security cams for the address?”

“yep” For a moment you think you can see a look cross his face that seems he’s impressed but it disappeared before you could really tell.

“car pulling in, camera four” This has you pulling yourself into further into the desk and double click on said camera. A blacked out van stops just inside the entrance gates, you and Jungkook lean closer to the laptop as you watch in silence. A few moments pass before four guys hope out, all holding familiar looking guns making your eyes widen

“m2 smg’s, only military should be in possession of them” Jungkook’s turns to you at the information, this was a much bigger problem then he originally thought

“how could you tell what guns they were so quickly? the image is so grainy” He sounded genuinely curious, he was quite well educated when it came to guns but even he couldn’t tell that fast. You simply shrug

“found my fathers armoury at twelve, became obsessed with finding out what it all was” At the mention of your father he tenses, so do you. You regret it even coming out of your mouth so you quickly move on “if these guys are getting military grade equipment they must have killer connections”

“yeah, or they’re stealing. both are as bad as each other” He states, leaning away from the table shoving his hands in his suit pockets. You think for a moment, right now there wasn’t much that could be done. Rounding up people and storming down there would just end up in a blood bath, reporting them to police was out of the window- when it came to police that option was always out the window with your families. With a new thought suddenly coming to mind, you move your hands to your laptop and minimise the cameras before moving onto to something else. “what you doing?” Jungkook leans down to get a good look, again he sounds genuinely interested which makes a change for his normal asshole way of speaking

“serial numbers, all of those guns should have serial numbers. if i can track all the shipments the military have been sent of those smg’s, i could see whether they were stolen they have to report that. that should answer our question if they have connections or not”With that, you tapping at your keys while Jungkook watches over your shoulder- did he not know the term personal space? Nonetheless you said nothing, just worked on finding the information you needed. You had to block your IP Address, and make sure you were leaving no trace of you ever entering these programmes. This was going to take some time, so once everything was set and loading you stand making your shoulder brush Jungkook’s arm making him stand with you.

“what can’t do it? not as gifted as you thought?” His head tilts to the side to aide his snarky tone as his hands slide right back into his pockets

“it’s loading, i have to wait. what have no idea how these things work? too stupid?” You match his previous tone, tilting your head to the side aswell. He narrows his eyes at you but you bare it no mind and shoulder check him as you walk past him and out your office. Sure you could’ve walked the other way, but you were too petty for that. You stand in the hallway before turning back to face him “get out” He raises an eyebrow at your demand “like iam gonna trust you in there, you’re a Jeon after all” He lets out a breathy single chuckle before he finally moves his feet and then shoulder checks you at the door, before walking in the direction of the lift

“bitch” You hear him faintly mumble, you run your tongue over your top teeth before you slam the door behind you and let out a smirk when you notice his body jump slightly at the sudden noise.

The y/l/n Estate

Jungkook

He stares at the ceiling, not sure what the time was but he new it was late. or really early. Huffing he tossed and turned, he couldn’t fucking sleep ever since he was jolted awake from the stupid nightmare. The loud bang of the gun, the screaming, the blood- Yeah he definitely wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon. It was pathetic really, he took many lives and he didn’t have an ounce of shame or regret about any of them. But that first kill- it kept coming back to haunt him. Sighing he flings the covers back, getting on his feet he leaves the room and heads straight to the kitchen. It was eerily quiet and dark, not a single sound was even coming from outside. The perks of living in a mansion in the middle of nowhere, he knew about that too well. He keeps his eyes downwards as he reaches the kitchen, hoping to find some sort of alcohol in there. Strolling in he jumps at the sound of a glass hitting a marble surface. His head jumps up, you’re standing at the marble island- scotch in your grip as you stare at him in the entrance way. It was a kind of scary sight, you standing there in the dark drinking with a gun resting next to the glass. Without any words you turn, grab an empty glass from the cupboard before placing it down and sliding it onto the surface towards him. An invitation to drink he supposed. Walking into the kitchen now he grips the glass as you now slide the bottle of scotch in his direction. He begins to pour himself a healthy amount as you drown the rest of your drink before walking around the island, just sporting a long t-shirt and socks.

“don’t drink all my shit, i will have to kill you in your sleep” With that, you’re gone and he lets out a chuckle with no humour in it. He didn’t doubt you actually would, you’ve been dying to put a bullet in his head for the last year, probably longer then that. Jungkook sipped on his drink as he stared out the window opposite him, the moonlight seeping in making it not total pitch black. He didn’t even know why you didn’t fight against having him here, you couldn’t stand him, you wanted him dead. Yet here you were, letting him sleep under your roof and drink your scotch. It annoyed him, infuriated him that you were showing an ounce of sympathy towards him, he didn’t need you to feel sorry for him. He was already feeling sorry for himself enough for everyone. Sighing, he refilled his glass a little but downed it all straight away. He needed to solve this new crew nonsense as fast as possible, he needed to go home, needed to get away from you.

When the sun rose the next morning the faint sound of music filled his ears. His eyes fluttered open and it took him a second to remember where he was and when he did, he groaned. Stretching, he sat up and focused on the music he could hear slightly. It sounded like jazz, he could hear the occasional trumpet mixed with other instruments. He stands and slips on a plain white shirt before leaving the room, the music gets clearer as he does so. It’s coming from your gym, he furrows his brows as he stands in the hallway. why would you listen to jazz to work out? Moving his feet, he doesn’t know why but he walks to the gym- his curiosity got the better of him. The music gets louder and Jungkook turns the corner and he sees the glass door to your gym, he gets closer and peeks through. His eyes meet you and your Grandfather happily dancing to the music playing through the gym. He thinks it’s the first time he’s seen a genuine smile on your lips as your Grandfathers spins you by your arm making you let out a laugh. A pain struck his heart, so this is what a happy home could look like? He wouldn’t know, his mother left when he was a kid and his dad only wanted him to do work. God he hated this feeling, that empty gnawing pit at his stomach that let him know he was jealous, jealous at the fact you and your Grandfather were so close when the only true meaning of family he knew were his friends. Deciding he had seen enough he spun on his heel and went back to his room, feeling even more sorry for himself. As he was getting his outfit ready the music stopped and it was quiet before he heard steps coming in his direction. He stopped moving and waited before two knocks on the door echoed throughout the room.

“got a new lead Jeon, come to my office” With that, your footsteps retreated back from the door and he heard the faint ding of the lift. Sighing, he got dressed and smoothed down his blazer before doing up the buttons and leaving the room to make his way to your office. It’s silent as he rides the lift to your office and all he can bring himself to feel is annoyed. He hated that he had to be here and he hated having to work with you.

The y/l/n Estate

y/n

You’re tapping on you’re laptop, finally being able to search the military reports you had left loading the previous day. Not only did you have those reports now, you also had the information from beyond the grave. Aka: your father. Of course he withheld important information and kept it all locked up for himself. Sometimes, you felt guilty for being relieved he was dead- then you’d remember who he was and what he did. You don’t feel so bad then. Someone clearing their throat alerts you to their presence and you look up from your screen and see Jungkook standing in the doorway. You left the door open, not wanting him to burst in and have to teach him about basic manners. Lifting your hand you indicate to the chair in front of, telling him to sit and if you weren’t already drained from having him in your space- you would’ve told him to not only sit but to shut the fuck up for good measure. However, you were fed up and tired, so you chose to say nothing.

“what’s the lead?” He breaks the silence, and you look back to your screen momentarily to finish what you were doing before looking back up.

“military reported a shipment of m2 smg’s missing four months ago, i found out that a boat carrying those guns was raided by an unknown group.” Jungkook appears to think about the information, although you don’t care if he has anything to say so you continue “we have a confirmed location that the group likes to frequent” He seems shocked by this, but that expression is wiped away in a second.

“the location we saw them at yesterday?” You shake you head to say no before speaking, you didn’t want to mention that this was your fathers leads so you chose to leave that little bit out

“my grandfather gave me some codes to break into this whole load of information. before you came i started up up the programme and it’s finally done. on the list was a club the head of this group has been confirmed to frequent. we now have a name, face and location.” With that, you open your top desk drawer and pull out a packet you put together of the information you found. You didn’t really want to sit and explain everything to him, so this was the best option “read through that, memorise the leaders face, height, weight, name all of the above. later, we’ll go to the club” He stops flipping through the pages to look up at you as you stand

“we’re going to go? on our own? isn’t that something you should’ve consulted with me on?” Rolling your eyes you close your laptop, the sound echoing in your office

“iam consulting with you now” You pick up your laptop and walk around the desk to leave, he scoffs and stands up to block you from the door

“no, you’ve already decided the plan. we’re meant to work together stop being so fucking bossy and involve me in the decision making!” His voice started to raise, you sigh and sit on the edge of your desk gripping your laptop in front of you

“okay, what time do you want to go to the club ten or eleven?” He glares at you and you shrug “you wanted to be involved, we can go at whichever time you like sweetheart” You stand then, watching as his tongue pokes against his cheek clearly annoyed. God, you hated him but he was hot when he was angry. He steps forward, making your head tilt up slightly to look at him. You could feel his breathe on your face but you weren’t about to back down, he didn’t scare you.

“you’re intolerable” He gets out through gritted teeth and you smile up at him, it wasn’t sincere and you both knew that. Jungkook keeps his eyes on yours and you hold the stare, smile still planted on your lips.

“good, you’re the last person i want to make feel comfortable. i hope you hate every day you’re working with me” His jaw tightens, he leans his head down nose bumping against yours momentarily almost making you falter but you stay put “we leave at ten, be ready” You get out before stepping to the side and leaving your office, you’re about to rush off to your room but turn to stare at him still stood in your office. You’d never leave him in there, not one ounce of trust in your body for him.

“iam leaving, don’t wont to snoop around your office anyway. i have better things to do” He finishes his sentence with his back to you before he turns and begins to walk in your direction. Giving you one final look, he bumps your shoulder and walks away.

Albany, New York

11:24pm

Your heels click on the pavement and a tight red dress clings to your thighs and you walk beside Jungkook in the busy streets on New York. The dress didn’t allow for you to wear your gun on your thigh, it would clearly be seen, you opted for a blade tucked into your bra. You knew Jungkook had a gun tucked in the back on his belt, he always did and in some way that made you feel a little more relaxed. Turning a corner you spot the neon sign you’ve been keeping an eye out for, and stop your movement while placing your hand on Jungkook’s arm to get him to stop walking too.

“we’re here. remember the all information?” He gives you an exasperated look as you keep your eyes on the club and everyone going in and out

“not a rookie” Is all he says making you roll your eyes, he couldn’t just give you a simple yes or no?

“whatever, let’s go through the back entrance. front is too dangerous they could check for weapons” You don’t wait for a reply, just walk towards the alley behind the club and you hear his footsteps following you. The closer you get you notice a worker push open the door, you push yourself against the wall before the alleyway. Jungkook stands directly behind you, you can feel him as he pushes up against you to hide himself. Letting out a breathe you quickly jump into action when the worker goes back through the door. You run up and hold the door open, slipping through it and Jungkook comes right in after you. Silently, you both make your way down an empty hallway towards the music that continues to grow louder. At the end of the hallway was the back of the club, opposite through a small crowd of people was the bar

“ok, let’s head straight for the bar. get a drink and find a good view point” Jungkook simply nods, you knew he hated when you boss him around- so you made sure to always do it. The pair of you give each other a look before turning and entering into the crowd and walking over to the bar. You look around as Jungkook gets the bartenders attention, you were surprised that there wasn’t many people.

“what do you want?” You turn your attention to Jungkook as he waits for your order

“white wine” He nods and turns back to the bar tender, in a couple minutes he hands you your glass and pays for the drinks. Suddenly, the music turns down it doesn’t stop but it was too quiet for a club

“what’s happening?” Jungkook whispers to you and you shrug, maybe it was technical difficulties? You’re about to suggest that when people all around you start kissing, not softly either. Your eyes widen as some people get on floor to make out while some make use of the booths. Both you and Jungkook whip your heads around in shock but then it hits you.

“fucking hell, it’s a sex club!” You get out as you look to Jungkook, his hands in fists as he tries not to look around him. “we look so out of place, come on” You use your free hand to tug him to an empty booth, planting your wine on the table you turn and take his drink from him and putting it next to yours.

“what’s your genius plan now? we’re gonna get fucking caught!” Ignoring him, you’re pushing him down to sit in the booth. His eyes widen as you stand in front of him.

“just shut the fuck up and listen” You pull the hem of your dress up and little before sitting yourself down on his lap. He looks up at you, pupils shaking as you settle yourself onto his lap “keep a look out over my shoulder, try to find our guy. this is the only way we don’t get caught” Taking an inhale you move you lips to his neck, his hand slam onto the seat either side of him. “am only kissing your neck okay? we won’t stick out and you can still see everyone around” You get out your reason, it really was life or death if you were caught out, who knows what could happen? So, you suck up your pride and gently place a kiss beneath his ear. You hear him suck on a breath, most likely surprised but you continue. Placing another kiss in the spot you then move more towards his throat, sucking at a certain spot this time. His hands fly to your waist making you jump but you carry on. You move back up to below his ear, getting a little carried away lick a little strip up his skin ending at his ear. Another sigh escapes his lips and you grip his shoulders as you focus back onto the base of his throat. You can feel him swallow over your lips and you change between gentle kisses and sucking.

“fuck y/n stop” You detach your lips from him but don’t move to lean up

“what did you spot him?” His grip tightens on your waist as he shakes his head no “don’t tell me stop then we’re gonna look suspicious” Most of the club goers were mostly undressed now, if you were just sat here talking you really were about to get caught. You move your head back down but Jungkook moves his head away from your reach making you huff “i know this isn’t ideal but it’s for the mission! do you want us dead? why the fuck-”

“iam fucking hard y/n” He grits out as his head whips back in your direction, his breathing hard as he pushes you tighter against his lap and then you feel it. He is hard. “iam hard okay, that’s why i told you to fucking stop” He whispers under his breath before he leans his head back against the booth. You’re stunned, hands gripping his shoulders tightly. You should’ve probably got off his lap, ended the mission and gone home. But you stayed put, why? It turned you on, it ashamed you to admit it to yourself but god were you so turned on. All you did was suck on his neck and he was hard, were you that touch starved that you’d happily sit here and tease Jungkook- your enemy, rival even? Yes, you were. Slowly, one of your hands moved from his shoulder to his chest. His head flings up from the booth to look up at you on his lap “what are you doing?”

“staying in character” You whisper before sliding your hand from his chest to his stomach. He inhales hard as he watches you, his own hands sliding from your waist to smooth along your exposed thighs. It was like you were in a trance, everything about the man beneath you annoyed every bone in your body. But as he looks up at you, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he grips your thighs? You have no hate, just lust. With your fingers resting above his belt, you lean forward making Jungkook release his bottom lip from his teeth. You edge closer, your bottom lip grazing his top lip

“party’s over!” A loud voice makes the pair of you jump, you stand from his lap breathing heavy as you notice everyone putting their clothing back on in a haste and running out of the club. You hear a distance siren of a cop car making you and Jungkook share a look before he stands and grips your wrist pulling you off towards the back entrance.

The y/l/n Estate

Jungkook

You stand quietly beside him as the pair of you ride the lift to your wing of the mansion. Your red lip stick smudged, most of it over his neck, as you keep your eyes looking in front of you. Jungkook’s head is filled with the feeling of you sucking on his neck, specifically the spot under his ear. He can still feel it making his jaw tighten, the doors of the lift open and you rush out and walk ahead not looking back. He follows shortly after, making his way to his room but he stops at the door and turns his head in your direction. His eyes travel down and stares at your legs as the sound of your heels clicking on the hardwood floor fill his ears. Once you round the corner he finally tears his gaze from your direction and he roughly opens the door and slams it behind him. He leans against, closing his eyes as he sighs. Images of you on his lap, hand moving down his chest flash into his mind and his eyes snap open. Pushing himself of the door, he grips his tie loosening the knot before pulling it off over his head. Undoing the top button of his shirt, he walks into the en-suite and turns the light on. He turns to the mirror, he sees your lipstick smudged on his neck and as he leans forward he spots a more deeper mark below his ear. a hickey. A low chuckle escapes him

“you sure had fun” He mumbles to himself, aimed at you, before turning on the tap and grabbing a wash cloth. Running it under the tap he lifts it to his neck before stopping. His hand hovers over the lipstick marks with the cloth but he just stares at them through the mirror. He dick grows hard underneath his trousers and he scoffs at himself before throwing the cloth into the sink and turning off the tap. Jungkook grips the sides of the marble sink as his head flops and he looks down. Great, the mere sight of your lipstick on him gets him hard and he couldn’t even bring himself to wipe the shit off. Shaking his head he walks off and turns the light off before going back into the bedroom to get changed. Undoing the buttons of his shirt he rips it off his shoulders before throwing it on the floor before undoing his belt and taking off his trousers and chucking the clothing next to his shirt. He slides under the sheets, resting his head against the pillows as he stares at the ceiling. Jungkook couldn’t comprehend the mixed feelings roaming around his body, you’re the heir to his rival family and one of the people he should hate the most but the simple feeling of you sucking on his neck got him the hardest he’s ever been in probably the quickest time too. It was sick really, to feel that way knowing what he’s done- what he did. He shouldn’t feel regret or guilt, he did what he had to for his job. But he did, fuck he really did. As he lay there, under your roof, staring mindlessly at the ceiling he came to terms with it. He didn’t exactly hate you, no he just acted as he should towards the rival families heir. He acted that way because he hated what he did, hated that you could know. You could know exactly what he did but you never tried to get back at him, never tried to get revenge like any other mafia member would after knowing what he did. He’s lived on the edge, waiting for that revenge but you never did anything… So he assumed you didn’t know, but surely you did? It was confusing, no one hid what he did yet you never confronted him. He loathed not knowing. His thoughts halt when he hears feet padding against the floor, right past his door and in the direction of the kitchen. It was you, of course it was this was your wing it was only you and him here. Huffing he rips the covers off himself and before he knows what he’s doing, he’s grabbing a pair of joggers and slipping them on before opening the door and heading in your direction. His expression is fierce as he stalks to the kitchen, the door is open and the lights off but he knows you’re in there, he can hear a drink being poured into a glass. You hear him before you see him, he knows it because your body tenses as he looks at your back. Wordlessly, you slide a glass of scotch from in front of you to your side on the counter before you walk around the counter and grab another glass, pouring another before sipping at it. You still haven’t looked at him, but he keeps his eyes on you as he walks forward and sips from the glass you offered out to him. It takes a couple of minutes before you look up at him, his eyes meet yours and he notices your gaze slip to his neck. Clearing your throat, you turn away and bend to a low cabinet. Jungkook’s jaw locks when the baggy shirt you’re wearing rides up and he notices a lack of shorts underneath the top. You stand, fresh cloth in your hand you run it under the tap quickly before turning back in his direction. Raising your hand over the counter you offer him the cloth but he refused to move, choosing to stand still. Sighing, you move around the counter standing directly in front of him raising the cloth up to his neck you gasp when he catches your wrist in his hand.

“don’t” He mumbles out as he stares down at you, his gaze drifts down to your lips before pulling back up to your eyes. You stay frozen as he silently looks at you, his adams apple bobbling as he swallows nothing. In one swift movement he pulls you into him with the wrist he’s gripping, you stumble forward dropping the cloth. It hits the floor as his other hand lifts your hold the side of your face.

“what the fuck are you doing?” You finally speak, through gritted teeth but he doesn’t move nor does he release his grip on you

“would you have carried on?” He tilts his head, questioning you, he notices your breath catch in your throat “how far would you have gone? if the police didn’t show?” Jungkook adds onto the end, not really expecting you to answer “what did you call it?” He whispers, lowering his head to your ear as his hand on your cheek moves to grip the side of your neck “staying in character?” His breath fans over your ear and he takes not how you shiver slightly “let’s see how good of an actress you really are” With that he pulls back and let’s go of you only to grip the back of your thighs as he lifts you up. Your hands fly to his shoulders to keep balance as he moves you on top of the kitchen top. His lips attaches to your neck, sucking beneath your ear making a gasp leave your lips. Jungkook smiles when he feels your head move to the side, giving him better access to your skin.

“i really fucking hate you” You grumble out making him chuckle against you

“feelings mutual sweetheart” A deep moan escapes him when your fingers attach to the waist of his joggers, pulling him tighter between your legs. His lips go back to attack you neck, sucking little marks wherever he could making you sigh

“you better not be leaving any marks Jeon” He leans away, looking at the trail he’s left from the top of your collarbone to near your ear

“don’t look in any mirrors” You grumble but he doesn’t care, he moves his hands up your thighs and underneath your shirt, playing with the fabric of your underwear

“you really piss me off” He smirks before pulling at the fabric before letting it go to fling back onto your skin making you jolt

“good” Is all he says before sliding his hands into your underwear, his middle finger brushing over your clit making your head lean back as you let out a moan. “got anything else to say?” He offers, running a finger over your entrance before running it back over you clit. “no?” Jungkook asks again but you just whine as he circles his finger over you “didn’t think so” He grumbles before using his middle finger to push into you making you moan and grip onto his shoulders.

He breathes heavily as he pulls out of you, head resting in the crook of your neck as he comes down from his high. Jungkook goes to plant a final kiss on your neck but is stopped when you push yourself of the counter and plant your feet on the floor. He starts redressing himself but as he does so, you take off and rush out of the kitchen. He turns to call for you but he stops himself. Mumbling a fuck under his breath he ties the string on his joggers before leaving the kitchen and stomping back to his room. With the door closed he flops onto the bed, thoughts filled with you. He lost control and that alone feels him with dread. It takes a a good hour of tossing and turning to finally get him to sleep.

He was wide awake as soon as sunlight hit the room in the morning. Groaning, he sat up before his phone ringing made him jump, leaning over he checks the caller id before answering it

“what do you want?” He huffs down the line

“well that isn’t a very nice greeting” Namjoon mumbles down the line, a small smile appearing on Jungkook’s lips. “how’s new york?”

“it’s” He searches for a word “fine” Not exactly an accurate description but he goes with it

“so life across the enemy lines is going good?” Jungkook didn’t necessarily want to be reminded at he was indeed rooming with his enemies, especially after what he did with a certain one of them last night

“it’s bliss namjoon, what do you want me to say?” He hears his friend laughs down the line

“alright snappy. just wanted to know how it was going? found that new group?” Jungkook gets out of the bed, moving over to the window. He peaks from behind the curtain and halts when he spots you “hello? you there?” Namjoon’s voice speaks down the line but Jungkook keeps his eyes trained on you. You’re seemingly doing yoga, in tight shorts and a sports bra

“uh yeah” He clears his throat “we have a confirmed name and some information on him” Jungkook leans closely to the window as you lean forward, your ass in his direction

“great work, shouldn’t be long until you squash this” Jungkook hums in response, not entirely listening as you lay on your stomach. “y/n annoying the shit out of you?” The mention of your name draws his attention back to the conversation as he watches you push against the floor bending your back from your led position

“more than you know” Jungkook grumbles before closing the curtain and moving away from the window. He hears Namjoon chuckle down the phone

“yeah thought so. Look, i’ll pick you up from the airport when you get back. Just let me know when you’re on your way yeah?”

“sure, see you then man” Namjoon mumbles out a goodbye and hang ups. Jungkook throws his phone onto the bed as he gets a suit together to put on.

The y/l/n Estate

Y/n

You were up earlier then normal this morning, thoughts jumbled about having sex with your sole enemy. It kept you up for ages, you should’ve regretted it and never thought of it again. But, stupidly, it was the greatest sex you’d ever had and it was him: Jeon Jungkook. The most annoying, irritating man you ever had the unfortunate opportunity of knowing. For god sake he was the heir to your rival fucking family and all you could think about was the feeling of his hands roaming over you in the darkness of your kitchen. So, with those thoughts still swirling around your mind at the ass cracked of dawn you got out of bed to try and exercise the vivid memory away. It didn’t work. So, you stride back into the mansion- an angry expression painting your face.

“you’re looking more angry then usual this morning” You look over to your Grandfather, walking out of his wing with a smile on his face.

“hm, not angry” He looked to you, not believing a word that came from your lips. Well, he always saw through you he basically raised you how could he not? “just, didn’t sleep well last night” It wasn’t exactly a lie, just wasn’t the whole truth either

“sleep is important darling.” You nod to agree as he indicates for you to follow him as he walks through the mansion “how’s the job going?”

“good. we have a name and some information. but our last mission failed, we didn’t get a confirmed sighting” He nods as the pair of you walk in the main living area, he takes a seat on the cream sofa and you join him

“well, you and Jungkook are the best. you’ll get it done” You smile at his encouragement, for a feared mafia boss he sure was soft. Sighing, you lean down and plant your head on his leg.

“just want to make you proud” Your Grandfather chuckles above you before smoothing his hand over your head.

“you’ve already made me so proud y/n” Your eyes flutter closed, suddenly emotional at the sudden heart to heart. “Mr Jeon” The sudden greeting makes your eyes snap open, you see him stood in the entrance of the living room. His hands tucked into his pockets as he looks over. Sitting up you watch as he walks a little bit closer to the both of you

“sorry to intrude, i just needed a word with y/n” Your Grandfather smiles over at you, you offer a small one back before standing and leaving the main living area. You hear Jungkook’s footsteps behind you and you stop in the foyer of the mansion, turning to his direction.

“what do you need?” He raised an eyebrow at you as he shifts his weight between on his legs

“last night”

“iam on the implant if that’s what you’re worried about” You cut him off, one of the thoughts that kept coming back to your mind was the fact no protection was used. It wasn’t hard to assume that a guy like him would be worrying about the risks

“good to know, that wasn’t what i was about to say. you’d know that if you didn’t interrupt me” You glare at him, staying quiet. Honestly, you didn’t want to talk about last night ever again. “wanna talk about it?”

“no” With that you turn on your heels and begin to walk away, you don’t get very far before you feel his hand grip your upper arm. You huff as he stops your movement and comes to stand in front of you once again.

“you’re testing my patience”

“you’re also testing your luck, get out of my way” You go to move but his grip tightens on your arm

“that smart little mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble” Letting out a dry chuckle you look up at him

“i know something little of yours too, don’t think it’s gonna get you into much trouble though” You glance downwards to his crotch before looking back up, smirk etched onto your face

“didn’t hear you complaining about size last night” It was quiet then, silence engulfing the pair of you as you stare at each other his grip on your arm tightening a little

“let go of me Jeon” You mumble through your teeth

“stop being a bitch and i will” Huffing you push on his chest, catching him by surprise, you tear your arm from him and stumble back.

“i want to forget it ever happened. let’s get rid of this fucking new group and get back to our lives” Jungkook’s breathing grows heavy as he stares at you, his teeth clenched together.

“fine” He grumbles before pushing past you and heads out of the main doors of the mansion leaving you alone in the foyer. You hand no idea where he was going, you didn’t even know if he knew his way around New York but you refused to have an ounce of care about him. Turning, you’re about to go to the lift to retreat to your room but your feet don’t make it far before they stop. Closing your eyes you take a deep breath before turning on your heels and storming over to the doors. You pull them open and stomp out you see nothing in front of you but spot him leant against the wall of the mansion out the corner of your eye, cigarette hanging from his lips. “awh, caring enough to see where iam sweetheart?” Rolling your eyes your turn to face

“just making sure you don’t get yourself killed, don’t wanna start a war over your stupid ass” He chuckles before taking a long drag and blowing out the smoke. There’s a moment of silence as you move to stand next to him, you’re not sure why you do it but for some reason there’s just a strong pull between you and him. It was unexplainable, at this point you didn’t even try and justify your actions. Jungkook lifts the cigarette in your direction, you glance at him before taking and placing it between your lips to have a drag “my Grandfather might kill me if he sees me smoking” You admit, blowing out the smoke before taking another drag

“hm, doubtful. he adores you” Raising an eyebrow at him, you hand the cigarette back to him. “dont pretend he doesn’t” You look down at your feet, smile on your lips

“yeah, guess he does”

“count yourself lucky” He mutters, taking a final drag before flicking the end away onto the ground. Your curiosity peaks at his words

“you saying your father doesn’t adore you?” An empty laugh makes its way out of his throat, you can’t help it, you feel sorry for him

“don’t feel sorry for me” Your eyes snap to him, his own already looking at you. “i can see it, your sympathy is very evident”

“would never feel sorry for you. i relate to your father” It wasn’t true, which is why he smirked at your comment. Clearly you felt sorry for him, the look of pity so evident on your face. This atmosphere was foreign for you too, it was almost peaceful as the two of you stood in silence gazing out into the long driveway of your estate. It was confusing for you, comfortably stood next the person you supposedly hate the most yet the same person you had sex with last night. Sighing, you push off the wall making Jungkook look at you. He startles you as he lift his hand up to you, brushing your hair over your shoulder before tilting his head. Just the way he did last night before he hoisted you onto your kitchen counter.

“lucky you have long hair sweetheart, wouldn’t want your Grandfather to see what the son of his rival did to you” You furrow your eyebrows in confusion before they widen in realisation. A hand flies up to your own neck, remembering what he left there last night.

“asshole” You mumble before storming back into the mansion, hearing him chuckle behind you. moving your hair over your neck as you rush to the lift and press the button to your wing.

For the entire rest of the day you lock yourself up in your office, furiously tapping on your laptop. The last mission was a failure and you were more determined then ever to put an end to this ‘new group’ that seemed to have your Grandfather and Jungkook’s dad so edge they decided to team up. The more you searched into the name you had, the more confused you grew. There were no confirmed sightings of him for over four months, it was like he completely disappeared. His real name nor aliases weren’t on any rent agreements in the United States or Europe. No bank cards in his name has been used anywhere, neither had any new accounts been set up. Everything you looked into had turned up empty, it was infuriating. A set of knocks on the door draws your attention away and before you can say come in, Jungkook bursts through the door. Crossing your arms you watch as he casually closes the door and strolls in before sitting on the seat opposite you

“why knock if you’re just gonna walk in?” He shrugs, nonchalantly before leaning back in the chair.

“found anything interesting?” You sigh, leaning back in your own chair

“this man is fully incognito, no bank cards being used, no houses under his name.” Jungkook takes a moment to think, it was incredibly unusual.

“what’s the most recent activity from him?”

“a card under his name was used at that sex club four months ago. that’s it” He leans forward, a certain look on his face

“check death records” You narrows your eyes, this man couldn’t possibly be dead. The pair of you have been sent on a mission to find him, your Grandfather and is Father would definitely know if he died. “just check” He seemed to have sensed your confusion, sighing you open your laptop and begin to search. First, you look at New York’s records- setting up a program to automatically scan through each areas records, looking for his name. You wait in silence, not expecting a lot but in a few moments your laptop makes a noise and your eyes widen. “what?” Jungkook rushes out before getting on his feet and hovering behind you to look at your screen

“he’s dead, apparently ” You get out, looking up at him at the same time he looks down at you. This was impossible, did he fake his death? was he really dead and did your Grandfather know already that? “i need a drink” You grumble before standing and immediately walking to the kitchen, not even stopping to tell Jungkook to get out of your office. Not that it mattered, he followed you anyway. You rip the top off your now half empty scotch, getting two glasses out of the cupboard before pouring the drink into both glasses. Jungkook is suddenly beside you and you lift the glass to him, he takes it. Tipping the glass to your mouth, you gulp a generous amount before leaning against the side.

“i think we drink too much” Jungkook suggests making you chuckle a little as he sips on his own drink. “what do you think, fake death or we were sent on a dead mission?” You inhale a deep breath before shrugging

“don’t even want to think about it” He nods and you finish of your glass, in the quiet Jungkook surprises you when he lifts his hand up and moves your hair over your shoulder just as he did earlier. Glancing at him, you watch as he eyes the marks on your neck. “you’re getting a good kick out of these hickeys ain’t you” He smiles, tucking some stray hairs behind your ear. It’s strangely intimate. Without any words his hand fingers smooth over the marks, running down your neck. Placing his glass on the side he moves to stand in front you, hands gripping either side of the counter behind you.

“does this kitchen turn you into a raging sex maniac?” He lightly laughs, leaning into you a bit more.

“it’s not the kitchen, it’s the annoying bitch stood in it” You should’ve been offended, but you were far from it as you meet his dark gaze. This was wrong in so many ways, but right now you didn’t have time to think about it. As you stare up at him, you realise his lips never actually met yours during your escapade the previous night. He seems to be have the same train of thought as his eyes dip to your lips

“no ones ever annoyed me more then you” You let out through a sigh as his lowers his head, his lips just grazing over your own

“good, then iam doing my job” He mumbles, then his lips press into yours groaning as he does so. It’s softer then you thought it was going to be, you expected fast and furious but it was gentle and slow. His hands move from the counter to your waist and pulls you flush against him making you whimper. His tongue moves between your lips, meeting with your own as he deepens the kiss. Your hands fly up to his neck, you feel him sigh against you. This was bad, before now your night could be left at a crazy one time thing but now his lips danced with you’re own, something deeper grew. You’ve never felt like this, heart beat going crazy as he towered over you. Feelings of hatred dissolve into something you couldn’t really pin point. He breaks the kiss and moves down to your neck, planting kisses on the marks he made on you. You moan as he sucks over them, probably deepening them as he does so.

“who knew you were into such childish things like hickeys?” You feel his lips smile against before planting a kiss over his work

“want everyone to know what you’re letting your rival do to you behind closed doors” Rolling your eyes you turn back to look up at him, heavy breaths being exchanged between you both.

“we’re playing a dangerous game” You couldn’t help but mumble out your concerns, if any of your families knew what you were up to it was done for. Jungkook seemed to halt at your words, realising something you couldn’t tell but it was enough to make him pull away.

“you’re right” Your left in shock as he walks backwards before retreating out of the kitchen, you don’t think as you follow him. You finally came to terms with the fact you felt something other then hatred for him, he kissed you and now he was running away.

“what just happened?!” You huff out as you trail behind him down your hallway, he turns to face you and you don’t stop until you’re right in front of him

“i agree, it’s too dangerous” He shrugs and you look at him, confused. You had just opened your eyes to the fact you wanted him, needed to feel him against you again and he runs away over a little comment?

“it was a passing comment!” Jungkook says nothing and you grow frustrated, the look on his face was unreadable. “i don’t just kiss anyone Jeon. you can’t just do what you did and run away from me!”

“well iam!” He’s suddenly shouting and it makes you jump “just forget it y/n, iam not doing this!”

“doing what?!” You raise you’re own voice now, too many emotions build up in you and it’s hard to hold them down

“we hate each other” His voice is now low and calm, almost giving you whiplash “that’s how it stays” He turns then and marches straight into his room, slamming the door behind him. You stare at the door, you were enraged but all you could think about was how- you don’t hate him, not anymore. You really wanted to, wanted to turn back to just a couple of days ago when you didn’t feel this way. But you couldn’t, so you simply walk past the door and straight to your room.

The y/l/n Estate

Jungkook

He hadn’t slept for more then a few hours each day for the past week, his last conversation with you swirled around his mind tormenting him. What made it worse was that he kept thinking about the kiss, that fucking kiss. Your lips moulded against his perfectly, almost like you were made for him. The irony. In reality, you weren’t made for him you were made to be his rival and with everything he’s done he couldn’t bring himself to carry on. Your comment last night clearly wasn’t about anything serious but it made his brain jump into gear. How could he possibly carry on with whatever the two of you were doing? He seemed to have forgotten all the bad blood he created not too long ago. The worst part was he wanted to carry on, it was like you had a magnet inside you personally for him. But he couldn’t suppress his suspicion of you’re motives. Sure, you seemed to want him as much as he did you but why? Did you have ulterior means? Bottom line was that he couldn’t trust you, it was still possible you knew everything he’s done and this was all some ruse to catch him off guard. Then his brain would remind him he actually came onto you first and his whole mental debate would start again. Although now he’s already been with you, it would be hard to let you go now he knew how it felt. He slipped out of the bed, heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Silently he cleaned his teeth, brain still filled with the thought of having to work with you, having to see you, talk to you. Finishing up he moves back to his bedroom, jumping in fright when he spots you stood in the room. It was the first time he’s seen you since he ran away, middle of making out

“y/n what the fu-”

“just shut up Jeon” Your tone was ice cold, opposite from the playful one you sported since having that smoke with him last week. “that guy is really dead. gone, buried, six feet under” Clearly you were angry, arms crossed over your chest. He allows himself to glance over your body, you’re wearing your usual large shirt and he found himself wondering if you were wearing shorts this time. He breaks away from that thought

“how are you so sure?” You scoff at this and stomp to his bed, sitting on the edge of it, right leg bounce rapidly

“i saw his fucking autopsy! little picture of the body was attached and all, killed four months ago. wanna know the best part?” He had to admit right now, he was a little scared of you. Your eyes were dark with fury and he worried for anyone who’d step in you way today “he died out at sea, with a shipment of stolen guns. the way he supposedly died? strangulation” The realisation hits him, that was his fathers famous method of killing. He connects the dots quickly, there was a new group rising- four months where his father took care of the problem. Not a threat anymore.

“my father sent me on a dead mission.” He mumbles, rage slowly filling him as thinks about his smug father back at home probably laughing at his son trying to solve an already finished job.

“no, not just your father my grandfather did too. it was his coroner that signed off the autopsy” That shocked him more then his father, your grandfather actually loved you. He couldn’t say the same about his father.

“but you hacked the cams, we saw that group with the smgs?” You shrug at this before flipping back onto his bed, he spotted black fabric. Shorts. Although he was seething, he was revealed you had something on underneath the shirt this time

“it was recorded footage Jeon. Planted in the codes my Grandfather gave me. we’ve been hustled” Sighing he sits next to you on the bed, mainly because he couldn’t stand staring at your bare thighs. At least from beside you his gaze wasn’t naturally towards you.

“but why? what’s the fucking reason for sending us on a pointless job?” You don’t answer, sitting up suddenly. Jungkook stares at you as you abruptly stand, he turns his head upwards trying to ignore your ass that was now eye level with him.

“well, at least you can go home now.” You move to leave but Jungkook’s quicker, he leaps in front of you making you stop

“am not leaving” Giving him a blank stare you try to step around him, but he steps in front of you again.

“get out of my way and go home” You grit out before stepping to the other side but once Jungkook plants himself in front of you. “move” He doesn’t, just looks down at you as you seethe up at him. Jungkook doesn’t know why he’s being stubborn, this was what he wanted right? To leave whatever you two did behind and fly back home as soon as he could? But with that now being an actual option, he didn’t want to. “what the fuck is your problem huh? you don’t have to work with me anymore, don’t have to live with me anymore. can go home knowing you screwed the enemy in her own kitchen, bet that one will get you a couple of pats on the back from your mates!” Hearing enough here bends and quickly lifts you over his shoulders, you gasp and try to wiggle your way out but his grip his tight as he throws you onto the bed. You go to sit up but he pushes you back down, holding your wrists above your head as he hovers over you

“i can assure my mates will never know any details of what we did in that kitchen. that’s only for me to know, i’ll fucking kill anyone who even thinks about you in that way!” He breathes heavily as he stares down at you, the shirt you have on had ridden up your legs making your shorts poke out.

“spoken real possessively for someone who hates me!”

“i don’t hate you!” His grip tightens on your wrist and you stare up at him with wide eyes

“then why did you run?! why did you say you did?!”

“because i killed your fucking father!” Silence. Just the sound of both your breathing filled it. You seemed confused, to say the least.

“i know” You whisper, his stare is intense as he lets go of your wrists hands moving to sit upright on the bed once again. He was surprised, finally he had confirmation that you knew exactly what he did last year. Yet, you did nothing to avenge your father.

“i killed your father and you do nothing? what i did should’ve started another war between our families” He grew quiet, he felt vulnerable but he’s held this in long enough. “why? what are you planning y/n?” Jungkook hated how his voice faltered, the only reason he dreaded the thought of this job was because he assumed as soon as he was here he’d be dead. He killed your father, in cold blood and your family hadn’t even tried to get back at him

“revenge?” You finally get out “i would’ve thanked you if you gave me the chance” Jungkooks pupils shake as he looks down at you, sighing you move to sit up. “my father was an awful, awful man. sure what mafia leader isn’t but, he went above and beyond. he lead prostitution rings, beat anyone who he deemed worthy of it. men, women, children. i hated him, never even spoke to him since the day i turned eighteen, the day he tried to sell me to the ring” He tenses, he would throw his own daughter into a prostitution ring? “my grandfather stopped him, took me and i’ve been with him ever since. we stayed in London because my father would just track us down anyway, the day i found out he was dead? happiest day of my life” Jungkook noticed the small smile on your lips as you speak, you genuinely were glad he was dead. His body felt light, the entire year he waited to see you appear and take him out. Only for you to be happy he killed your father?

“he was my first kill” You seemed shocked at his confession, you’d assume he had killed others being an heir to his fathers business “it’s why my father doesn’t engage with me, probably thinks iam soft. had nightmares for a while afterwards” You place a hand on his back, attempting to comfort him but you remove it too quickly for his liking

“don’t lose anymore sleep over him, not worth it. it’s good he’s gone” Jungkook leans back on his hands as he eyes you

“what the fuck happened to us?” You laugh, a proper genuine laugh and he thinks it’s the first time he’s ever heard it.

“i don’t know but you still piss me off more then anyone” He smirks at this, still eyeing you. “stop looking at me Jeon, giving me the fucking creeps” Barking out a laugh he suddenly grips your leg and hoists you onto his lap. You fumble and grip his shoulders as he looks up at you.

“why don’t you just shut up and use that pretty mouth for something other then shouting profanities at me?”

“profanities? that’s a long word for you Jeon” He grumbles before leaning up to press his lips to yours but you lean away. “don’t” Is all you say before standing off him and he hates the way his body yearns to pull you back “you have sex with me, try to again but run out because you killed my father and thought i might be planning some sort of revenge? you can’t trust me and honestly, i can’t trust you either” His tongue pokes against his cheek, getting annoyed. Sure everything you said was correct, but he couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t going to lie to himself, not anymore, there was a clear attraction. He felt a pull to you like no one else, that much was obvious with how easily you got him hard

“you don’t trust me but you opened your legs for me?” He regretted it as soon as he said it, your face contorted and he felt so fucking stupid for uttering those words “no i-”

“fuck you” You cut him off and storm out the room but he’s quick on his feet to follow you, slipping on the hard floor when he tumbles out the door and rushes to stand in front of you.

“wait”

“no!” He flinches “you need to go back to London and never even think about showing your face in New York again” You side step him but he grips your arms and you start to try and wriggle out of his grip.

“iam not going anywhere y/n!” He gets out while struggling to keep you in his hands “i’ll stay here for forever if i have to!” You stop moving then, looking at him as if he was mad and right now he felt like he was.

“are you crazy?!” Jungkook shrugged, more or less confirming to both you and himself that he probably has gone crazy.

“maybe, but i need you to understand me when i say- i can’t go back like nothings happened” You stumbled back a little bit he kept his hold of your arms. “yeah, maybe i’ve gone mad. but no one makes me feel the way you do. i normally have perfect control of myself but suddenly i don’t have control of shit because of you!” He felt so stupid, you probably more then just hated him right now and he was teetering along the edge of a love confession.

“what the fuck are you on about?!” You get out through gritted teeth and his upper lip twitched in annoyance.

“iam not going anywhere until you get your head out of your ass and realise we have something between us!” Your eyes widen, and mock chuckle escaping your lips

“you’re full of shit Jeon” A low rumble comes out of his throat before his grip on your arm to push your back against the wall beside you.

“i’ve had enough of this y/n” His voice is calm and low “we will find out why we’ve been sent on a dead job and then we will talk like grown ups about what’s going on between us” With that, he drops his grip on your arms and steps back. Giving a final look he turns and begins to retreat to his room, his heart heavy as he does so.

Albany, New York

Y/n

The bartender slid another wine in your direction, you nod your head as a thank you, not really wanting to speak right now. You had left the mansion as soon as you got dressed after the heated conversation with Jungkook. It had been hours since you left, not wanting to be under the same roof as him. Most of the day was spent at the movies, you watched about three movies before the staff began to look at you weird so you retreated off and ate dinner before stalking off to any bar that was open. You were on your third wine, deciding to nurse this one you only take a small sip before placing it back on top the bar. Not only did the whole ordeal with him stick on your mind, you were also thinking about your grandfather and that stupid dead fucking mission he made you attend to. You wanted answers, wanted to storm up to your grandfather demanding answers. But right now, you couldn’t. Jungkook had filled your thoughts, his stupid idea that there was something between you two. No, you were the stupid one because deep down you foolishly agreed. Of course there was, you weren’t blind to your emotions, you happily slept with him as soon as his lips touched your neck. Even before then, during the night of the pointless mission you went to go further after he admitted he was hard. There was something deeply wrong with you, you concluded. You were sat here, sulking over your attraction to your enemy, the very person you hated not that long ago. Sighing, you gulp down the whole glass of wine before shoving some money on the bar and leaving. The cold air of the night bit your skin making you shiver slightly before you walked off. You knew you couldn’t go home, not with Jungkook and your Grandfather there. Both the conversations you needed to have with them could wait, you walked to a nearby hotel glad to have entered and be out of the chilly night. The receptionist smiled when she noticed you coming and you mustered up the best one you could for her

“do you have any rooms? just for tonight” You ask, folding your arms across your chest

“i’ll just double check for you, it might be a bit pricey seems as it’s not pre booked” She warns and you nod, indicating it was okay. You’d pay any price to just be out of the mansion. Your phone vibrates in your pocket, not the first time today, you ignore it knowing who it was. “ok, i have a room available it’s-” You simply hand your card to her, making her stop her sentence. She gives another smile before putting it through the system and handing you it back with a room key “enjoy your stay”

“thank you” Checking the room number you head straight to it, looking around finally you took note that this was quite a fancy place which probably did cost a fortune. But, that was just a plus of being the granddaughter of a mafia boss. Jamming the key in the door it gives a little beep telling you it’s open and you walk in. A nice double bed and pretty view greet you, but you didn’t care about the look of the room. You just wanted to sleep a forget everything so you take of your clothes leaving your underwear and slip under the covers.

It couldn’t have been more then three hours later when a commotion outside your door jolted you awake. Loud voices and a banging against your door made your heart rate pick up, you were still a little drowsy from sleep but you jumped up and yanked the gun from your handbag.

“sir! you can’t go in!” You assumed that voice was a security guard, and you quickly slipped on the complimentary robe keeping your gun tight in your grip. This could be anyone, enemy of your fathers or grandfather and without the protection of your mansion- this could have been their perfect opportunity to pounce. Another bang against your door made you aim your gun directly at the door as your etched closer. “hey! i said you can’t-”

“i don’t give a fuck!” Your head tilted, was that Jungkook? “open this fucking door you imbecile i know her!” Yeah, it was definitely him alright. Sighing you drop the gun onto the bed and stomp over to the door.

“i told you i can’t do that, i’ll call the police!” You gave mental props to the security, Jungkook was a scary guy but he wasn’t letting up

“call them then! but iam not leaving until-” Swinging the door open you’re met with a furious Jungkook who stops arguing when you open the door.

“iam sure the other people staying don’t appreciate the yelling” That only seemed to piss Jungkook off even more as he storms pass you and into the room. The security makes a move to go after him but you raise your hand. “it’s fine thank you for keeping him out but, unfortunately, i know him” You hear him scoff behind you as he paces the room “sorry for the disturbance” The guard looks at Jungkook over your shoulder one more time before looking back and offering a smile before he walks off, you sigh and shut the door. “have you lost your mind?” Your turn and walk over and he stops pacing to look at you

“have you?! you disappear all fucking day without a word and don’t come back! anything could’ve happened, do you remember who you are? who your grandfather is? anyone could be out for your neck and you’re here without protection!” Oh he was seething, you don’t think you’ve ever seen him so angry. He’s visibly shaking, veiny hands waving around with each word he shouts

“well, you couldn’t get in so would say iam relatively safe” That was probably the wrong thing to say, no it definitely was- his jaw locks and he stares at you with an indescribable emotion.

“i’ve been looking for you, all fucking day. at one point me and your grandfather had to discuss the fact that you might be dead!” You say nothing, you couldn’t. “when you are who you are, you don’t disappear without contact y/n!” He flings his hand in the air and you flinch, you weren’t scared of him but the sudden action made you do it. You notice his face soften and be sighs before sitting on the bed, momentarily looking down as your gun slides to his thigh. He chuckles “at least you have some brains on you to bring this”

“i bring it everywhere” You mumble, taking it from him and sliding it back into your purse before turning back to him. There was a moment of silence, you realise your mistake and that he was actually right- which pained you to admit. “iam sorry” You start and he looks up at you “my grandfather properly sent you through hell looking for me”

“you think he sent me? i was searching before he realised you were gone” This took you by surprise, why on earth would he break his neck looking for you if it wasn’t for your grandfather? You must look confused because he sighs and stands up. “i was looking because i was worried you dumbass” His sudden insult made you roll your eyes “i told you this morning that i thought there might be something between us and your first thought was to disappear, iam a bit offended to be honest” You try to suppress a smile that wants to appear, not wanting to find the man in front of you funny when he’s just tracked you down and tried to break into your room.

“stop trying to be funny” You grumble before sitting yourself in the chair in the corner of the room, he sits himself back on the bed “i just needed sometime to myself” You don’t know why you were explaining yourself, normally you wouldn’t but Jungkook did actually seem concerned

“you could’ve told me where you were, or your grandfather. with the lives we have, that’s important” You agree with him, you really do. But you’re human after all and just needed some time away.

“a lot was happening, all i did was go to the movies and then the bar” His head snapped in your direction make your jump a little

“you went to a bar?” You nod, confused “bring a man back here?” There was a beat of silence before you laugh while he glares at you

“you’re ridiculous”

“so you didn’t?”

“no!” He looked relieved and you couldn’t even fathom how you got into this situation with him. “would it matter if i did?” Jungkook’s stare was icy cold as he looked over at you.

“he would’ve been dead by sunrise” He seemed sincere and you didn’t know whether to swoon or be angry

“what’s gotten into you?” Your voice was calm, filled with pure confusion

“you. you have y/n. i realised something while i bent over backwards looking for you, i was scared.” This shocked you, him being so open with his emotions. You’d never seen him like this “look i don’t know what’s happening here, i dont understand myself but there’s something here. i feel something so deep for you and it’s so consuming” His voice is hoarse and your heart thumps against your chest. You understand him, you really do because ever since you slept with him you knew. Knew that even though you thought you still hated him, you don’t. It was different, it was weird and scary. But, nonetheless, it was there- whether it a sick attraction or some sort of love you didn’t know. But it would be stupid to deny it, when you so obviously felt it. You took a deep breath before standing, his eyes followed you. Without another word you untied your robe making Jungkook’s eyes widen slightly. You didn’t take it off, just let it swing open to reveal just your underwear underneath

“fine, there’s something” His teeth enclosed on his lower lip as you step closer, standing between his spread legs “iam done talking, we can finish the conversation in the morning” His hands come up, sliding underneath the fabric of the robe to grip onto your waist

“that’s fine by me” Jungkook mumbles before his hands smooth over the curve of your ass before pulling you into him. You straddle him, knees digging into the bed either side of him, hands gripping his shoulders. He tilts his head up as you look down “don’t ever fucking disappear again” Is all he says before finally planting his lips against yours.

The sun was bleeding through the curtains as your eyes fluttered open, you didn’t immediately recognise your surroundings but remembered it was the hotel. What you also remembered was what you got up to last night with a certain mafia heir, the tattooed arm draped tightly over your stomach was reminder enough. Jungkook held you firmly against him as his head rested in the crook of your neck. A shiver slipped down your spine as you felt his breath hit your skin. It was still weird territory, the person who usually pisses you off the most, lay cuddled into your back. Surprisingly, you slept extremely well you’d never really shared a bed opting to not bring anyone to the estate. It was dangerous to do that so anyone you saw it stayed outside the mansion and you never stayed overnight. So, you welcomed the feeling of having something keeping you warm. You shift a little, trying to get comfortable enough to fall back asleep. You hear a groan from behind you, worried you woke Jungkook up you stop moving but he doesn’t saying anything so you shift ever so slightly trying to get cozy.

“hm please stop” You freeze when he grumbles out, morning voice deep and croaky.

“sorry i didn’t mean to wake you up” He hums, pulling you tightly against him before he smirks his hand over the top of your thigh

“well you wiggling your ass against me is not gonna keep me asleep” Your lips purse before their slipping upwards into a smile and you stare shifting again but with more of a purpose this time. He grips a handful of you upper thigh making you stop, smile now fully on your lips “you really enjoy pissing me off don’t you?”

“it’s my favourite hobby” He grumbles under his breath before sliding his hands back up to your waist

“and you’re so good at it” You chuckle at this before making a move to sit up but you don’t get very far, Jungkook holds you back down making you huff as your back hits the bed. “this is the nicest you’ve been to be ever, not really ready to put a stop to it yet”

“well, iam not a particularly nice person so get your ass up” Sighing he lets you sit up and he rolls onto his back

“and the dream ends” Rolling your eyes you push the covers off and stand up before you look around for the robe as you stand in your underwear. You whip your head around and spot Jungkook’s eyes staring right at you, raking his eyes up and down your body.

“pig” You mumble as you spot the robe thrown over the chair and you go over to grab it

“didn’t hear you complaining last night” Scoffing, you tie the robe around you before gathering your clothes and throwing them onto the bed. You pick up your top, pause and turn before launching it directly at the man in the beds head. His hands raise instinctively before ripping it off his face and throwing you a glare. “was that necessary?”

“yes, checkouts in half an hour get up”

“bitch” He mumbles and you stare at him, he gives a sarcastic smile before getting out of the bed and stretching.

“carry on calling me names Jeon, remember how easy it is for me to flip you over my shoulder” You know he remembers that day in your gym by the way he gives you a pointed look.

“caught me by surprise” He says under his breath as he begins gathering his own clothes and you chuckle to yourself

“sure, whatever helps you sleep at night” You bend to pick up your jeans from the bed as he circles his arm around your legs. He picks them up making you fall face first onto the bed making you gasp. Then, he flips you onto your back and you meet his smirk as he looks down at you.

“see, easy when you get caught off guard” You tilt your head, moving your hands to hold onto his neck. He seems to falter when you lift your legs to circle around his waist, pulling him tightly against you. Jungkook lowers his head to yours, you fan your lips over his and smile as his eyes flutter closed. Quickly, you twist his body and use your legs to drag in onto the bed next to you. You end up on top of him as his eyes fly open to look up at you.

“yeah you’re right” He huffs as you get up and untie your robe, starting to get dressed.

“show off” You laugh out loud as you slip on your jeans, zipping them up and popping the button closed. The pair of you dress quietly and he waits by the door while you check everything’s in your bag. When you’re happy, he opens the door and lets you walk first and you have to stifle a laugh when you get the the lobby and Jungkook has a stare off with the guard from last night.

“have a good stay?” A new receptionist asks as you hand the key back

“yes thank you” You smile and as you walk past the guard, you slip a couple notes from your bag and offer them to him. Jungkook side eyes you as the guard confusingly takes the money from your hand “a tip, well more of an apology for having to deal with him” The guy lets out a chuckle and Jungkook wraps an arm around your waist as he escorts you out of the hotel

“really?” He mumbles as he holds you close while the pair of you walk away and you simply laugh as a response.

The y/l/n Estate

Jungkook

He lets out a little smile when your grandfather runs up to you as the pair of you enter the foyer. When you had run off yesterday Jungkook was worried after only an hour, he ran around the Estate looking and when that search turned up empty he told your grandfather. Initially, he wasn’t as worried as Jungkook but after a couple hours he was shaken up. So, when Jungkook did find out where you were he told your grandfather and went storming to the hotel

“y/n darling!” He wraps his arms around you and Jungkook steps away momentarily to let him have his moment “where were you?! we were worried sick, you had Jungkook destroying the place!” His eyes widen when you look over at him, embarrassment creeping over his face as you grandfather rambled on. “we’re gonna have to redecorate that spare room because-”

“okay!” Jungkook gets out “iam just gonna freshen up” He lets out before rushing over to the lift and climbing in before he could hear your grandfather expose him further. He’ll admit, he did lose it around the fourth hour you were gone. By then, every scenario had run through his mind- kidnap, death and so on. As the lift made it to your wing, he made his way to his room and opened the door. It was truly wrecked and he grimaced as he looked around. A giant mirror was smashed to pieces, the drawers broken all over the floor. Not to mention the mattress was mostly off the bed from his foot booting it, sighing he tip toed around the mess to get further into the room to grab some fresh clothes.

“what the fuck happened in here?” He jumps, losing his foot and some glass crunches under his boot.

“jesus y/n!” You chuckle as you look around the torn up room and he turns his head away from you and pick up his chosen clothes

“my grandfather said you went on a rampage. miss me that much?” His upper lip twitched as he moved into the bathroom with his clothes, ignoring you. He hears some glass crunch behind him making his whip around as he catches you walking over to the en suite.

“be careful” Jungkook moves to the doorway and offers his hand, you take it as he keeps his eyes on your feet making sure nothing pierces through your trainers. He didn’t know when he started caring so much, but it was hard to stop at this point. Dropping your hand he turns and flips on the shower as you lean against the sink.

“i didn’t know you’d be worried, iam sorry” He was taken back by this, you were always strong willed and he wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t love it- because honestly he absolutely did.

“wasn’t even stressed dont worry about it” Of course he was being sarcastic and it made you laugh, he hated that he instantly smiled at the sound- this was not the usual dynamic but he knew that was long gone. Your head turns back into the destroyed room before turning back to him.

“yeah clearly not” You kicked some glass that was close to the door and it clatters “come to my office after your done, it’s time we find out why were hustled into this pointless job”

“you didn’t ask down there?” Jungkook had no time to even think about asking your grandfather about the dead job yesterday, well he was too busy wrecking the place and tracking you down to care.

“no, we should have this conversation together” And that’s just what they do, about hour later he, you and your grandfather sit in your office. Your grandfather seemed a little confused about why he was asked up here, seems he never really visited your office space.

“we know” Is all she says and Jungkook chooses to stay quiet, he knew he’d have to have this exact conversation with his father and he wasn’t particularly looking forward to it.

“know what darling?” He smiled at the cute nickname, loving how much this man adored you. Jungkook was starting to understand why he did so much.

“the job we’re doing, we know it isn’t real” Her grandfathers face falls and he shifts in his seat as she just looks at him and waits for an answer

“iam sorry sweetheart” He looked down, seemingly ashamed with himself. Jungkook could only wish to have someone who cared that much about his feelings, when he confronted his father he’d probably get a shoulder shrug and sent on his way.

“why?” You didn’t sound angry, just confused.

“me and Jungkook’s father made a deal” Jungkook’s eyes widen as does yours, the two biggest rivals in the mafia empire made a deal?

“you’ve been in contact with the Jeon family?” Jungkook rolls his eyes at your mention of his family, he didn’t think you meant much by it but you sounded a little disgusted.

“yes, iam sick and tired of this bloody rivalry. it was stupidly started by your father and i wanted to end it” Your eyebrow raise in shock as does Jungkook’s, this was a decade long war and your grandfather wanted to end it?

“where does our pointless job come into this?” You asks and your grandfather side eyes Jungkook next to him before looking back to you

“well, we decided that a good way for our families to bury the hatchet was to- join us together.” You blinked rapidly and Jungkook swore steam might’ve came out of your ears “we wanted you two to marry” Your eyes bulge and Jungkook has to stifle a laugh, deeming it not appropriate for this moment. You might have ripped his head clean of his shoulders if he did. “we knew you disliked each other, so we came up with the idea to have you work together. maybe that way you could get closer.” The thought of his father agreeing to this shocked Jungkook, he’d assumed he would just try and force the two of you together. He had no patience for things like this.

“with respect, that is the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard” Her grandfather shrugged at her with a pout

“worked didn’t it?” Jungkook actually did laugh at this, your grandfather was just so funny he couldn’t help it. No one would believe this man was feared by thousands. You whipped your head in his direction, throwing your hands up in exasperation

“oh you find this funny?” Jungkook shrugs, similarly to how your Grandfather did as his laughter dies down. You lean back in your chair, sighing and he could tell you were trying not to smile. “i can’t believe you put a whole scheme together” She says to her grandfather, luckily the plan did actually work otherwise this whole conversation might have involved a lot more shouting

“i know, i truly am sorry. we won’t force a marriage. but with how he reacted to you being gone for a couple hours, i’d say a marriage for you is inevitable” Jungkook frowns in your grandfathers direction, not enjoying being exposed by him.

“honestly i think burying the rival is a good idea, but not with marriage”

“why?” Jungkook surprised himself with his own question, you and your grandfather look over at him in sync making him grow embarrassed

“what you want to get married?” He looks up in thought, the silence making you shake your head “Jeon!” You shout making him jump and your Grandfather laughs at the pair of you “why are you even thinking about it?!”

“you asked me a question! of course iam going to think about the answer!” Your grandfather laughs harder and a smile creeps it’s way to his lips as you glare at them both

“this is ridiculous i hate both of you” He laughs with your Grandfather “grampy can you leave so i can talk to this idiot in private” Still laughing your grandfather stands and exits the room, his laughter can still be heard as he descends the hallway until it faded away. “we are not getting married”

“i know y/n” He pauses “not right now” You close your eyes and exhale

“you sleep with me twice and you’re starting to plan a proposal?” He sends a look you’re way and it makes you chuckle “we just started playing around with the fact that there’s something between us, what if it’s just a simple attraction? this isn’t a relationship Jeon, you’ll be going back to London soon what happens then?” He tenses at this, he’s already come to terms with the fact this isn’t just attraction for him. No way he would’ve tore that bedroom apart and hunted you down if he just wanted to sleep with you. Sure, he knew your weren’t gonna get engaged any time soon but he hated the thought of being far away. He didn’t wanna go anywhere while you two were exploring what you had.

“y/n, this isn’t just sex for me. look at the mess i made of that room for evidence of that. whatever this is, is more then that. i think we both know that” You silently nod, confirming his thoughts “yes i will return to London, after you promise me that you understand right now we belong together” You seem surprised at this, this was his actual first declaration that he wanted to be with you seriously. But he was done playing around, the idea of him going home without knowing for sure you felt the same didn’t sit right with him “y/n?” He questions and grows annoyed when you roll your eyes at him

“fine, i agree”

“could seem a little happier about it?” You stare at him and he stares right back. Some things just don’t change and he thinks your bickering with each other would never end.

“am thrilled” Your monotone makes him scoff and he stands before rounding the desk and and holding your arm, pulling you to stand

“your enthusiasm is blinding” He remarks before lowering his head to plant a kiss onto your lips, he pulls back before planting another one “take me to the airport tomorrow?”

“not if you plan on slamming the doors on my beauty again” Rolling his eyes he plants a hand on your lower back, walking out the room with you

“you treat that car better then me”

“my baby doesn’t annoy the fuck out of me” Jungkook grumbles as he moves his hand to sling his arm over your shoulder as you walk to the lift.

Epilogue

London, England.

Jungkook

“iam sorry son” Jungkook has to fight the surprise on his face, his father sat on his desk chair across from his with a genuine look on his face. He’d expected to leave this conversation severely pissed off, but this was an unexpected twist. “you’re too good to be sent on a dead mission and for that i really do apologise” Jungkook bit onto his lower lip, a raw feeling of emotion erupting. “iam an old guy and i don’t often express much of anything. but iam proud of you” He had to pinch himself at his fathers words, not wanting tears to spill.

“i, appreciate that” His father nods, small smile on his face. It was clear he felt regret, in this type of work emotions are just seen as weakness but his father should’ve been more expressive with his own son.

“i heard the plan seem to work?” Jungkook chuckled, he was missing you right now so he guessed it did work. “i always liked her, she terrifies my men with that little laptop of hers”

“oh yeah, she figured the whole thing out in record time. she’s what quite nifty with that laptop” His father nods, smile on his face

“i knew you liked her, before you even knew it” Jungkook makes a face “you may not have known but it was quiet obvious, after you killed her father you were so guilt striken. you assumed it was because he was your first but, i always thought it was because he was her father.”

“probably. i put it down to worrying about her revenge but i guess, i just admired her and didn’t know it. felt guilt for taken her father away” His dad nodded before leaning back in his chair

“and i assume you found out the truth about him?” Jungkook’s jaw tenses, remembering what you admitted about him but nods “he was a terrible man. his father though, he sure is something” A chuckle leaves his father mouth and Jungkook’s head tilts in curiosity “we’ve been talking back and forth for a while now, god is he amusing”

“found a new friend father?”

“you could say that” Jungkook laughs, not believing that the rivalry finally came to an end and it was all over. This whole conversation was surprising him more and more by the second. “we’re gonna announce the rivalry over officially next week, then” He pauses “we’re moving operations to New York” Jungkook was floored, his shock must have been evident because his father laughed “not only is the rivalry over, but we’re joining forces. easier to do that in the same country”

“that’s, great” His father smiled making Jungkook slightly nervous.

“you’ll be happy to know y/n’s Grandfather said you can stay at his estate full time. i heard about your little meltdown when she ran away” Jungkook’s cheeks heat while his father simply continued to smile

“i doubt y/n will put up with me living there” He mumbles, but deep down he was happy to be going back there knowing he could stay.

“with the way you destroy one of her rooms? probably not” Jungkook groans before standing

“ok conversations over” He grumbles before leaving the office, his fathers laughter loud behind him. After that, he felt a lot lighter. It was like a new chapter in his life, his rival was no longer that and was now his girlfriend. Additionally his father finally opened up, apologised and said he was proud of him. He walks off to his wing and pulls his phone out, calling you. It rings for a while before you finally answer

“yes?”

“what a warm greeting” Jungkook grumbles and you laugh on the other end of the line

“what’s up Jeon?”

“is that how you address your future husband?”

“i don’t know haven’t met him yet” Jungkook rolls his eyes as he enters his room and sits on the bed

“bitch”

“Jeon”

“sorry” He mumbles and you chuckle into his ear and reluctantly he smiles “my father is moving us to New York, he says for business but i think he wants to be closer to his bestie- your grandfather”

“oh i heard, he won’t shut up and your father coming out. says their gonna go for a drink” Jungkook laughs, not being able to imagine his father letting loose at a bar.

“i don’t know how we ended here, but iam not going to complain”

“ew stop being sentimental”

“ok fine i hate your fucking guts” You bark a laugh down the phone

“feelings mutual, you’re not living here by the way. not risking another room in your hands when i leave the house for an hour” He’s had enough reminders of that day for a lifetime

“oh iam sorry for assuming you were dead because your stupid ass couldn’t answer your phone and iam moving in, you can’t stop me”

“i know, iam too irresistible you can’t stay away” He scoffs, moving the phone from one ear to the other

“whatever you say sweetheart, make some room for my stuff in your room”

“who says you’re staying in my room Jeon?” He wants to reach through the phone and throttle you, your sarcasm never ends and although he admires you strong will. He also wants to zip your mouth shut

“i did, now shut up iam flying out today”

“just can’t stay away can you? i’ll make sure to bring my gun in case you want to point yours at me again at the airport” He stands from his bed and opens his cupboard before pulling his cloths out and onto his bed

“keep talking and i will pull it on you again” He knows you’re rolling your eyes, can basically feel it as he gathers all of his things to pack away

“it’s easy to disarm you, am not worried”

“you’re intolerable” He grumbles and he hears some shuffling through the phone, guessing your led down

“good, my job is done” Jungkook smiles without realising it. He knows that you’ve got him wrapped around your finger, he can’t even spend more then day away from you. He’s already packing to run right back to you. It’s funny because beforehand he’d have done anything to stay from you, his enemy, his rival- but now he’s itching to get back. It was a surprising turn of events, but he wasn’t going to overthink it- he’s just going to get back to you as fast as his jet can take him.

#bts fanfic #jungkook #taehyung #jimin #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #seokjin #hoseok #namjoon #yoongi #jungkooksmut #jungkook enemies to lovers #jeon jungkook

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alphabetboyluvr · 1 year ago

Text

THROTTLE - JJK | NINE

one/ two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven

warnings - plans are being set in motion!!! back to busan we go! references to drugs, shitty driving, the usual. no smut! a rarity! plot!! one of my fave metaphors / set of lines in the entire fic is in this one!!

word count - 11.4k

minors dni // series masterlist

"I've been thinking," you tell Hoseok a little after dusk. The sun sets later these days, mid-year sun never wanting to settle. A monsoon has been looming for a few days now, but the grey clouds sit defiant in the air. "You were right."

He looks at you, contemplation sinking into the creases of his frown, the crisp white shirt he's wearing unbuttoned to his mid chest. A pair of thin-framed glasses adorn his eyes as he skims over the notes of a casefile from work.

"What about?"

His voice is soft as he asks.

With your hair like this - top layer in a half-undone bun, the rest wisping around your shoulders - he's reminded of how you used to be.

There's a lot to be said for your relationship, or lack thereof, but once upon a time, you'd cared for another. Would dance in his parents' kitchen when they were out of town, you in one of his shirts, bare feet padding against the ondol heated floor.

You look younger with your hair like this. Like yourself, he thinks. Someone he used to know.

It's part of the reason, you think, that you're so awful to another. You grew up together. He's a part of your formation, and you a part of his. There's a reminder of the innocence that once was.

He knows how much you wanted to get out of the fold. Knows you wouldn't have come back without an ulterior motive. He isn't naive to this. Isn't naive to anything you do. Is well aware you've been doing things that no woman with a diamond on her ring finger should be doing.

But he's no saint, either. The ring was given to you with a purpose. Just like his dress shirts are dry cleaned with a purpose. Saves you from having to wash his secretary's lipstick out of them.

"I need something to fill my days," you say. "I think I'm going crazy cooped up here."

It's not a lie.

It's also not the full truth; not what's prompting this conversation, but that's neither here nor there.

Hoseok nods. Put his case file on the coffee table and turns his full attention to you. There's a softness to him now, one that he didn't have the last time you spoke.

He's not all bad, not by any stretch of the imagination. Is just caught up in a God-awful world. He's like you, in that regard.

Whatever freedoms once belonged to you have been traded for protection - not just from the men who lurk around dingy boxing clubs, but from your own family, too.

Hoseok's position within the police force gives you an added layer of armour. He's chainmail. He knows this. Knows you need him.

But he needs you, too. He's got a greasy pole to climb. Helps him out if you're throwing him towels from the Mayor's office. Will get him to the top a little quicker.

It's unsurprising that he had been the one to suggest picking your relationship back up where it had been left a few years prior.

He had painted the idea as a beautiful utopia; Daegu's darling children, reunited. A powerhouse. Unstoppable.

You didn't have a plan back then, not yet - but power seemed like a good place to start.

"You've been away for a while," he muses, well aware that it's not been an easy adjustment for you. "I... Look, you and I both know this isn't ideal. I know you wouldn't be here if you thought there was another option for you."

When you nod, he thinks you might cry.

The person you are isn't the person he once knew. You're so strong in some regards, far more powerful than he ever thought you would be and yet at times you can seem so docile. So timid. Weak. He doesn't understand it. Not really. Doesn't understand you.

Because if he did, he'd know there's nothing docile about you.

"I don't actually want to ruin your life," he says with a small smile that seems sincere. Might not be. You choose to believe it is.

"It's fine," you offer back an equally minuscule smile. "I do a good enough job of that all on my own."

He presses his lips together, and contemplative dimples etch themselves into his cheeks. "What are you thinking? Let's work together. Find a solution."

Men. So easy to wrap around your finger.

"I'm thinking of proposing a library initiative to get the city kids reading. You know how much my Father likes a good press release," you say. "I'm not too sure yet. I could volunteer at the library, start promoting for the education sector. Something like that. It will give me something to do, and gets me in a public role that is pretty much as safe for publicity as can be. If I'm working as a volunteer, there's no need for additional expenses."

As you recite your lines, you think of Jimin - and how good he is at putting words together to make them sound convincing. He and Jin are definitely the brains of Kang's boys. Namjoon and Jungkook the brawn.

Like clockwork, you're thinking about him again. Thinking about the way he didn't take his eyes off you for the entire meeting. Thinking about the way he didn't crack a single smile. Thinking about how he'd followed you out afterwards, just to ask if you were okay - and about how forlorn he'd looked when you told him that you're none of his concern, and that the only thing between the pair of you anymore is business.

And then he had smirked. Told you that business was the only thing that had ever been between the pair of you. Told you not to get it twisted. Told you not to flatter yourself, and reminded you that he was the one who had orchestrated your entire relationship.

"Whatever's between us -" He had almost snarled. "- Is what I made it to be."

You'd laughed. Stepped a little closer. Toyed with the key still around his neck, and said, "we both know that's not entirely true, don't we?"

He was silent. Could barely breathe, let alone think straight. Wasn't till you were a mile across the city that he seemed to remember how to function like a human being again. He knows one thing for certain: he absolutely cannot be around you. Not if he wants any shot at sanity.

And so when you walk into the boxing club the next day, Jungkook pauses.

He watches how you scan the room, but drops his gaze before your eyes are able to reach his. He doesn't care for making conversation with you. Knows that it will be a fruitless endeavour.

It feels like oceans bloat the distance between you, and he's never much been one for swimming. Loves the freefall of the dive; hates the dictation of the currents.

"Is Jin about?" You ask, an air of indifference to your tone.

Following the conversation with Hoseok, you'd been granted approval from the Mayoral office to start planning the campaign. You'll be working with the PR team, but it's your domain. They'll be there to hold your hand if you need it, but you'll be the guide.

You're just here to report back to Seokjin. Aren't here for small talk. Would rather swallow a razor blade, you think. Much more pleasant.

Still in his workout gear, Jungkook doesn't look at you. Just shakes his head, slams his locker door shut, and kicks the heavy metal side door of the club open.

"You shouldn't be here," he says as he exits. "Ain't safe for you."

And he's right. It's a terrible place for you to be. Not for the risk of Kang showing up, or you being spotted fraternising with the enemy, but because of the way Jungkook makes you feel like your heart might stop beating entirely.

Part of you thinks it would be preferable if it did.

The door slams behind him, and echoes into the lofty room. The chime is haunting. Almost sounds like the same one that used to be in your stomach.

You're looking at your feet, gearing yourself up to leave, when the door swings back open.

Jungkook is agitated. Chewing on his cheeks, thunder in his eyes; he's the monsoon that's been looming all week.

You wish he would just crash. Pour down. Bless you with the glory of what it feels like to be covered in his torrential rains.

But there's a ring on your finger, and a hole in his chest. His mouth is constantly dry in your presence, and he's all cried out. He's got nothing left to give.

You look so familiar. So much like home - but Jungkook lost the keys a long time ago, and the one around his neck won't work on any of the fucking locks. He's shut out. An intruder every time he tries to peep inside the windows. It's invasive, the way he looks at you.

Has you drawing the curtains shut.

"I wasn't kidding," he says, his rounded white teeth clamping on his bottom lip before he can speak his favourite letter out loud. Doesn't wanna call you the name he used to trace on your back in the dark of the night. "You don't what it's been like since... You don't know. It's not safe."

"It's never been safe," you sneer. "Why the fuck are you acting like you care now?"

You watch as his tongue presses against the inside of his cheek. He shakes his head. Looks to his feet.

There's something calming about it. You've seen his head hung low like this many times over.

It's never been due to your faults, but his, instead - his own disappointment, his own shame.

When his eyes fall back on you, dark and heavy, you're reminded of exactly who he is: danger.

So yeah, you're right. It's never been safe. Not with him around. Not safe for your life, not safe for your heart.

Never safe.

But he's always cared.

He wants to curse you out. Wants to say that you've no fucking idea how hard this has all been for him. Wants you to know that the only reason you're both still in this mess is because he cared. If he had never cared, then he never would have fucked it all up in the first place.

The words on the tip of his tongue are knocked back down his throat when a familiar rattle sounds in the parking lot. Thick and heavy, the gargle belongs to an exhaust pipe, and Jungkook has been around these parts for long enough to know exactly who it belongs to.

"Shit," he hisses. Doesn't answer your question. Holds the door open, instead. "Out."

When you stay put, he snarls.

"C, get the fuck out. It's Kang. You wanna fuck things up all over again? Wanna prolong the time we have to spend together?"

You start walking as soon as he finishes his final question.

"S'what I thought," he mutters when you walk past, and closes the door behind you both. "Go slowly. Don't turn the corner into the parking lot. Wait for me."

He clicks the lock shut; scrambles the code on the padlock. Keeps his eyes on you while you wait by the corner of the building. Appreciates that you listened to him for once in your life.

Old Man Kang only comes to the boxing club these days to check up on Jungkook - to make sure he's fighting fit. He's got a boxing match coming up. A big one. Puts him up against some boys from Busan. He knows they don't take well to 'traitors', which is what he's deemed as, now that he's fighting for a Daegu club.

Kang's banking on a heavy return should Jungkook win - but there's no 'should' about it. He has to win. If he doesn't, his debt to Kang - for the money lost on you - will only increase.

"You drive here?" Jungkook whispers as he comes to stand behind you, peeking over your shoulder to get a view of the parking lot. You choose not to inhale through your nose. Know that you might just die if he still smells the same.

He scans the cars, but can't spot the Merc you've been driving.

Of course he can't. Hoseok needed it for work. An out of town job.

"Got the bus," you say back, just as quietly.

"M'kay," Jungkook says gently. Goes to put a hand on your waist. Stops himself. Remembers things aren't how they used to be. "Take my key, get in the passengers side. Keep your head down. I'm gonna go back in for a minute, and make it look like I'm just leaving. They'll ask questions if they hear me drive off without seeing my face."

"I don't-"

"It's not up for debate. If they see you here, it fucks everything up. Just get in the damn car."

It's silent, save for the faint hum of traffic on the main road a few blocks away. Just you, and Jungkook, and the sound of the city. Neither of you really understand the way you feel. It's not quite sorrow. It's solemn. Sad - yet there's serenity, too. A saving grace for those who have fallen from it.

Jungkook decides that you're too stubborn, but also knows the one thing that always got you on side was a little desperation.

He gets closer. Puts his hand on the back of your neck. Wonders if you can feel the pulse in his thumb, and how it's beating a mile a minute. Squeezes ever so gently. Whispers, "Please, C."

The bus stop is two minutes up the road. You know that you could make it there - and be on the next bus going anywhere - by the time Jungkook has finished distracting Kang. You don't need him to save you. You don't need his protection. His kindness.

Yet you hold out your hand. Take his keys, and say, "Please be quick."

All he can do is nod, because truthfully, he'll do whatever he can to get himself beside you again.

"I'll be as quick as I can be. Promise."

It's funny. He's broken every single promise he's ever made you. Strange of him to think it holds any merit, now.

Doesn't stop you from holding out your pinky, mind you. Also doesn't stop him from linking his with yours. Pretty little promise, wrapped up with a pink bow. All perfect and pristine, satin against skin.

At least it's not red, you think. Not this time.

You hear Jungkook greet Kang - "Hi! Didn't see you there. Was just about to leave! What can I do for you?" - and decide that the coast is clear. Glancing around, you make a beeline for Jungkook's obnoxiously bright tin can of a car.

You hate it. Hate it in the same way that teenagers hate their hometowns. No matter how much you want to run from it, you know it will always be the place you go back to.

But of course you will.

It's home.

Some say it's where the heart is.

And considering you've been without one ever since Jungkook left your apartment all those months ago, perhaps it's not a bad place to start looking for it.

As you approach the bright, siren-red car in the parking lot, Jungkook's keys sit snug in the palm of your hand.

The satin lanyard strap is a little worn through - a freebie from a car show he'd attended a few years ago - but is just as soft as it always has been.

There's comfort to be found in it, like a blanket from childhood, or the warmth of a heavy duvet after a long day. It's a comfort you haven't felt in Hoseok's bedding, nor in the childhood bedroom you're able to visit again now that you're back on cordial terms with your family.

Jungkook had never smothered you. Not once. Not like a blanket nor a duvet could - and that's exactly why you kind of used to wish he would. You had craved the weight of his body; wanted your airwaves cut off by the very essence of everything he was. Deprivation had made you desperate.

Foolishly, it seems like not much has changed. Not much and everything all at once.

When you hook your fingers beneath the door handle, you can still feel the burn of his touch. In fact, your pinky finger almost feels numb. You hold it out a little, away from your other fingers. You want to preserve the feeling; lodge the sensation in your memories, embed it into your skin. Never wanna lose it, as if you have any choice in the matter.

Sinking into the passenger seat (alternatively known as the closest thing you've ever had to a second home) it's the scent of his leather that hits you first. A little oaky. Well-aged. Cared for. Restored by a pair of rough hands that hand touched you with just as much gentle cautiousness, once upon a time.

It's details like these; his discipline when it comes to making sure his car is looked after - preserved - that let you know just how meticulous Jungkook is. Nothing he ever does is purely up to chance. Luck isn't something that comes naturally to him. It's something he crafts.

Like Rumplestiltskin, he'd spun gold from straw in the form of your relationship. None of it was real. Not really.

A few tears brim on your lashline and threaten to fall - but you've never taken well to threats. You wipe them away. Won't let him know that being back in a place that once felt so much like safety is scaring you half to death, now.

It's a vow you've made to yourself: Jungkook will never know how he affects you. He won't see you cry. Will never know your skin is forever changed by his touch, numb to everything else but the tips of his fingers and the taste of his tongue against your own.

He'd lost the luxury of 'you' the very second he decided you were expendable.

Shifting in your seat, you're acutely aware of the little changes that have been made in your absence. There's a new air freshener, but it smells just the same. Some sort of pine. Gas station staple.

There's no hairband around his gear stick, like you know there used to be. No receipts from GS25 in the cupholders, no dirt from your shoes in the footwells, no bottles of soju left to roll around in the back.

His car is void of all essence of you.

The centre console - the old store for your snacks after late night shifts - is empty, save for a pair of silver-rimmed glasses.

They're large - clear lenses - and slightly more rounded than you'd expect of his taste, but the thick dark frame on top of them seems apt. You can't imagine him wearing them. Think it might be fatal. Decide you'd never like to find out.

When you flick down the sun visor to check yourself in the mirror, you almost miss it; the one relic of you.

Tucked in a small slip where his tax documents should be, is a photo strip. Taken in a beachside photobooth after a few too many drinks, you remember it well.

It's rough at the edges. Torn in half. Jungkook is gone, and yet you remain.

The removal of himself from his own memories is stark. Confusing. Distressing. Forces you to focus on yourself; the smile that you know was caused by him tickling at your ribs, and the tattooed hand on the side of your face in the second picture, that you know for a fact was pulling you in for a kiss, even if you can't see it.

In the photographs, your eyes are bright, despite the black-and-white filter (his pick). There's a stupid pastel purple frame around each one of the pictures, with miniature Kuromi's perched on the edges (your pick).

You wonder where the other half is. Decide you're better off not knowing, but don't have time to give it much thought though, for Jungkook's yanking at the drivers-side door, and asking for the keys before you even have a chance to flip the visor back up.

He looks at you - eyes jagged, jawline sharp - and lets his gaze fall to your hand, where the pictures sit pretty.

"That's still in here?" he sneers, as if it's a surprise; as if he doesn't look at it every time he stops by the river to breathe for a moment. Just like he didn't sit on the beach in Busan last month and set fire to the other half; watching himself disintegrate. "Keep it. I've got no use for it."

He holds his hand out for his keys, so you make sure to drop them just beyond his grasp and into his footwell. You know you're pressed for time, and that you really shouldn't be fucking about, but he's too much of an asshole, you decide.

"Real fuckin' mature," he grumbles, pulling on the lever beneath his chair to push it back so he can reach down for them. There's silence as his posture restores and he sinks his key into the ignition. A spark lights in his engine, the exhaust roaring into action. He knocks the gear stick into reverse, and holds onto the headrest of your seat as he looks over his shoulder. Swings the car around. "Head down."

You do as you're told.

It's mainly because you don't want to give him any more reason to snarl, but also because the quicker you do, the quicker you can just get the fuck out of his car.

It's claustrophobic now that he's sharing the space with you. You don't wanna breathe; don't wanna smell his aftershave. Don't wanna listen; don't wanna hear the way he mumbles to himself. Don't wanna look; don't wanna see his tattooed hand knock the gear stick into first, then straight up to third.

In fact, you'd quite like to stop existing altogether.

Jungkook used to say how much he enjoyed it. Enjoyed existing with you.

You hope it makes him feel fucking sick, now.

"Just drop me at the end of the road," you say. "I'll make my way from there."

"End of the-" he scoffs, not even finishing his repetition of the question. He coasts around the corner, foot on the clutch. You wonder if he's exercising a complete lack of control on purpose. Wonder if he's baiting you. "That private school education of yours really didn't give you any street smarts did it, huh?"

He definitely is baiting you. There's no doubt about it. He's petty motherfucker when he wants to be - and you can be just as bad. You just can't decide on how you want to respond.

Firing back would be the easy option. It's what he would expect. What he knows of you.

Staying silent looks meek, you think.

The final thing you consider is crying. Do you want to? Not really. You're more frustrated than you are sad. Thing is, he wouldn't expect it. Wouldn't know what to do. Would definitely make him freak out a little. Might even get him trying to make things better.

But you just can't bring yourself to do it.

Instead, you laugh. Look straight ahead. "Baby, these streets are mine. We both know I'm untouchable."

His hard stare on the road intensifies. You're approaching the bridge. Neither of you want to speak, both too aware of the impact that first night had on your lives; how it planted a seed that turned out to be nothing more than a venus fucking fly trap.

And yet Jungkook just can't help himself. He doesn't want to let you win.

It's pathetic, and he knows it. Knows that he's the one who fucked you over; that he's the one who did all of this. Knows that you've every right to be hurting, and every right to want him hurting, too.

But you're engaged, he fumes internally. Due to be married. Have committed your life to someone else, as if the time you had spent with Jungkook meant nothing. It's only been about four months since it all went to shit. He can barely look at the watermark he still hasn't cleaned off of his bathroom mirror.

Lies were fed to you between his kisses, but every single one of those was real. He meant it every time he pressed his lips against yours; every time he told you he needed you in his sheets eternally.

He makes assumptions like you used to do. Thinks about your fiance. Assumes it's love. Has to be.

It's clear to him now that the feelings you pretended to have for him were always a lie.

He doesn't understand why.

Sure, he knows why he lied to you. Knows that he filled your head with half-truths, and tiptoed around the facts of the situation, but he was always honest with how he felt. Never told you bullshit about wanting to keep you close. Meant every single word of it.

But you didn't. It's obvious to him that your lies went beyond your family tree. Nobody likes a liar - not even the boy who cried wolf, himself.

"Untouchable?" he smirks. It's cruel. Juvenile. "We both know that isn't true, don't we?"

"Haven't you heard, baby?" You simper, voice sweet a honey laced with rat poison. You hold up your hand, and wiggle your fingers. Light catches in the cut of your diamond. "I've got a ring. I'm untouchable in every sense of the word."

It stings. Almost like your diamond's encrusted on a dagger, and you've impaled it into his chest.

He doesn't look at you as he drives. Not like he used to. Doesn't throw you a single glance across the centre console, doesn't hold your knee nor your hand beneath his on the gear stick. Instead, his jaw remains taut, eyes ahead on an endless horizon that he hopes he never reaches. If he keeps driving forever, none of this has to end.

For a little while longer, he can pretend.

Pretend that things are as always as they were; that perhaps you've just had a small argument - over what to have for dinner or the way he'd rolled his eyes at a suggestion you had made - and that you'll crack a smile soon. He'll say something dumb, play your favourite song. Tell you he's sorry. Pull over, and refuse to drive until you hold his hand.

But your hand has a ring on it now. He'd feel it lodged beneath his fingers. Would be indented with the mark of commitment from another man.

And that's what makes him crack.

"Engaged," he laughs quietly, not an ounce of humour in his voice as he shakes his head. His eyes stay on the road. He can't look at you. Knows he wouldn't be able to look away.

You're silent for a moment. Consider not responding - but his tone bothers you.

"Uh-huh. We've established that - but you've no right to pass judgement."

Jungkook doesn't want to pass judgement. He wants to be vulgar.

Wants to remind you of the way you were taking his cock a matter of months ago. Wants to ask if your fiance hits the spot like he knows he used to. Wants to know if your body is still stained by the colour of his claim; rosy handprints on your ass, plum bruises on your chest left by his lips. Wants to know if it's his name that reverberates in your head when you bite onto pillows. Wants to know if your fiance even fucks you well enough to make you do that. He doubts it.

He doesn't want to know the answers to any of those, though.

"I'm not passing judgement, C," he says in perhaps the most judgemental tone you've veer heard, flicking his indicator to merge into the next lane. "What's the dress like? Can't be white, can it?"

Bastard.

"We're going traditional," you lie. It hasn't even been discussed yet. You also don't plan on sticking around long enough to see it through to the big day, but that's none of Jungkook's business. "Hanboks only. No modern dress."

Funny, Jungkook thinks. Had never pictured you as the traditional type. Then again, never pictured you walking down the aisle with anyone but him.

Truth be told, it's not like he's ready for any of that. He's not good with the future. Not anymore. Moves from one bad decision to the next. No point in planning ahead.

He disregards the flashing amber light over the pedestrian crossing, narrowly missing it as it changes to red. His foot is on the gas, and he doesn't seem to be easing. You adjust in your seat. Cross your legs. Hold onto the door handle.

"Slow down."

The way he ignores you is childish, and the way he speeds up is even more so.

"Jungkook-"

"Don't tell me how to drive my own damn car," he snaps.

"Then don't drive it like a fucking idiot!"

The tyres screech to a halt. You're almost certain you can smell burnt rubber.

Around you, the road is empty. You're just a few blocks over from the bridge, not far enough for the coast to be clear, and you both know it. There's silence. No static from his radio, no chatter of former lovers; just his engine, purring softly, echoing into the night.

Neon lights from the amalgamation of churches and noraebangs rain down on you through his windows, painting your skin in a red haze. The beam of his headlights on the road ahead is intrusive, decrepit buildings shown in all their miserable glory; paint peeling from the walls, rust forming beneath nails like tears on cheeks, railings covering windows to keep outdated electronics protected. You hate this area. Always have done. Can't believe you used to consider it home.

"Fine then," he snaps. "Get out. Walk yourself home. See what I care. Don't get hit."

He expects resistance. Expects you to defy him. It's what he wants. Wants you choosing to stay - but like fuck are you gonna let him speak to you like that.

It's so hard knowing what's false with Jungkook.

Some days, you think it was all ingenuine; that you've never seen the real him.

On others, you tell yourself that the version of Jungkook you'd first met on the bridge was a facade; that you'd worn him down. Seen within.

Most days, though, you believe the version of Jungkook you'd met on that very first night is exactly who he is.

Everything that followed? A carefully crafted performance for an audience of one.

And now it seems like he wants a standing ovation - and who are you to deny such a skilled actor his applause?

Yanking just hard enough to piss him off, you pop open your door and stand beside the car. Applause comes in form of his door slamming shut, and the click of your heels piercing the emptiness in the air as you walk up the sidewalk.

"Where are you going?" He shouts after you from his window - but you just hold your middle finger up in his direction and continue onwards. "C?"

You wouldn't tell him even if you knew. All you know is that you selfishly kind of hope he'll call after you again. He does. You smile to yourself, and ignore him.

Cursing to himself in the driver's seat of his car, he revs the engine back up.

There's a sinking feeling in your chest, but you're the one who put it there.

Only have yourself to blame.

You choose not to watch as his car hurtles past you. The sound is soul-destroying enough as it is.

Jungkook takes a moment to consider his choices. The obvious is to let you go - but he's done that once before, and has hated it ever since. He knows chasing after you will only end in him chasing his own tail, but he's been doing that ever since you left, as it is. What difference will it make? At least this way he can say he tried.

He pulls into a side road.

Derelict and dilapidated, it's no place for a car like his - but then again nowhere in this city is. He sticks out like a sore thumb. None of the other Pony's are polished quite so well, no have been lowered like his. None of them rag about in the dark of night, only for him to fix his faux pas in the light of day the following morning. He'll never let it rust. Never let it falter. Never let it down; and in turn, it won't let him down either.

It will always take him exactly where he needs to be - and right now, he thinks it's beside you.

Slamming his door shut far gentler than you had, Jungkook pushes the key into its lock and twists it shut. He doesn't want to use the electric locks today. Feels like the only way to do things right is to go analogue. Old school.

Wishes there was a way he could go back in time with you, too.

His feet splash in the shallow puddles as he trundles back down the alley on foot, pulling the hood of his jacket over his head. He's still in his workout gear - a pair of joggers and some beat-up trainers - but doesn't care for keeping up appearances.

He waits as you approach. You notice him immediately, but make no acknowledgement of his presence. Just keep on walking. Even when he begins to walk alongside you, not a single word is spoken. Cars pass by, passengers gazing out of their windows at the strange pair walking side by side yet miles apart.

You wonder if they make assumptions about you like you know would.

If you were to see yourself, you'd guess that you were angry. A couple in the midst of a fight but too far from home to go your separate ways, maybe. The way your arms are crossed definitely suggests ice to the relationship, but of what the relationship is, you don't think you'd be able to tell. Lovers? Friends? Enemies? All of the above?

You wonder if they'll make up a life for you both. Wonder if they'll resolve the argument they must think you're having. Consider that maybe in their mind, you get a happy ending.

Maybe your observers will be just as naive as you once were. A fool with a fragile heart who gave it to a man who didn't know his strength.

Or perhaps he did. Perhaps he just never cared if he were to break it.

Jeon Jungkook; a rebel with a cause, just without care.

Asshole, you think. Wind whips loose stands hair against your face, cold despite the heat of summer that has now arrived. A storm is coming this evening, but you don't plan on being around to see it.

It's a shame. You've been looking forward to it. Hoseok's away. Work retreat to Yeosu. Some sort of training programme. You had anticipated a night alone watching the raindrops sinking down his apartment window.

The idea of going 'home' right now doesn't appeal to you.

Though when you come to think about it, home is standing next to you as you wait at a zebra crossing, waiting on a green light.

When green lights up the sky, you continue forward. Take a left a left when you reach the hospital. Walk seemingly without direction and yet there's only one place this road leads to. Jungkook knows it well. Isn't really sure what you're doing. Thinks you're playing some kind of joke.

And yet he doesn't speak up. Just follows.

The sign of the KTX station lights up the walkway, the rattle of overground trains polluting the silence between you. There are only a few more services for the night, but it means that freight trains are gearing into action, and they're so much louder than the passenger trains.

As much as he might not know what you're doing, you don't know either. Haven't really thought any of this through.

All you know is you just don't want to stop walking with him.

You hate yourself for it. Hate how weak he makes you feel. Hate that he gets to be okay and just live his life after ruining yours. Maybe you're misplacing your blame. Know full well that you've made some bad decisions as of late. Would take them back if you could.

Jungkook is one of those bad decisions you wish you could undo. If only life came with a rewind button. Ctrl+Z. Reboot. Restore to factory settings.

And yet the idea of not knowing him - the sound of his laugh in the early hours of a Sunday morning, the feel of his cheeks a few days post-shave, the pressure of his lips on the crown of your head - fills you with dread. You may hate the memories, but you don't want to lose them, either.

You know Daegu's KTX station well. Hanger left as you enter, straight towards the self-service kiosks. Pick one that accepts card, then rest your palms on the pale blue plastic casing of the machine. There's a touchscreen full of choices - endless opportunities - but Daegu's KTX autofill route is the only one that you care for. The only one that feels right.

Busan.

You tap through to the next menu, ignoring Jungkook's presence beside you. You don't care what he does. Are only thinking about yourself.

Funny, really. He's only thinking about you.

Jungkook knocks your hand to the side to stop you from pressing through to the transaction screen. He reaches over a little further. Presses the small plus sign next to 'passengers'. Says nothing as it jumps from '1' to '2'.

You just watch as he clicks on through to the following screen, and slides his card into the slot that's flashing green at you. There's no conversation. No acknowledgement of what he's done; just acceptance.

The machine spits out the tickets into a metal tray, so you take yours and turn on your heel, leaving him to collect his own. He can follow you if he likes. You won't wait for him.

Realistically, it's not like you'll be apart for long. The assigned seats are side by side.

Of course, you could just leave. Buy a ticket elsewhere. Go home. Head down towards the subway and lose him in a sea of people.

The possibilities are endless.

Yet you find yourself checking the departure screen for train 071, instead.

The menu flickers through the upcoming departures, before finally falling back to the screen 071 is on. Platform two, departing in four minutes.

It's enough time to get to your track, but not enough time to run to your favourite coffee stand. You just sigh. Today is just disappointment after disappointment.

Jungkook walks straight past you. Makes no acknowledgement of you.

Just heads towards the exit for the tracks. Another sigh leaves your lips.

But you find yourself following him.

You're the one orbiting him, now.

And like the planets you're convinced rule your life, it doesn't feel like you can stop any time soon.

Your train is already on the platform by the time you make it down the stairs, quietly purring in its bay. Doing one final check of the platform, the conductor blows his whistle just as you're hopping on.

Heading down the aisle, you're displeased to see the train is only half full, knowing it means your assigned seats will be beside one another - and once you reach carriage four, you can see the top of his head poking out from the row you've been allocated.

It's interesting how he's taken the aisle seat, when his ticket is for the window. Still, questioning it means engaging in conversation, and you're still pretending like he doesn't exist - to the point where you don't ask him to move. You just step over him, and cringe at the way you know your ass brushes the top of his knees from the awkward positioning.

If he were in a better mood, he'd smile, aware of your annoyance and the fact you're probably cursing out your own ass in your head.

But Jungkook is in a foul fucking mood, and all he wants to do is hold your goddamn hand.

He knows can't.

So he won't.

He'll just sit, and stew, and lament the fact he's on a train to fucking Busan with you.

The jokes he knows he would have cracked six months ago are lost, now. There'll be no nonsensical conversations over who would die first in a zombie apocalypse, no dumb declarations from Jungkook about how he'd protect you no matter what.

Would have been a lie, anyway.

In the row ahead of you, a teenage couple share a pair of headphones.

Between the crack in the seats, you can see their heads leaning together, hairs melting into one another. The girl is peroxide blonde, but has dark roots growing through. It's a bit like Jungkook's hair used to be. Her (presumed) boyfriend has a streak of blonde peaking through his dark hair. She no doubt did it for him (again, you presume). The sight of it makes you feel sick.

Jungkook notices it too. Watches as the girl flicks through the boys playlist. Searches up a song he doesn't know, and presses play. When she locks the phone and puts it down on her boyfriends lap, she shuffles closer against him. Jungkook feels a little unwell, too.

The silence continues.

It's only 45 minutes to Busan. Not a long haul by any stretch of the imagination - and yet it feels endless this evening. When the train eventually rolls into his hometown, Jungkook thinks he's going crazy. Hates being alone with his brain. Hates that you hate being alone with him, too.

The hushed nature of your pairing prevails as you make your way onto the subway. Rammed full of late-night punters, you're forced to stand by the entryway. He stands behind you, and holds the bar that's over your head. Doesn't say sorry when the movements of the carriage cause him to lean against you slightly. He pulls away from you as quickly as he can, but you're surprised to find that you miss the weight of his body.

But of course you do. You've been missing it for months, now.

The subway trundles through underground tunnels, metal screeching every so often, more and more passengers departing - until it's just you and him. You take a seat, and so does he. You're opposite one another, eyes unashamed as you stare one another out. There's no trust. You're like cats, stalking their prey.

Or should that be you're like a cat. Jungkook is a lion. Could rip you to shreds if he wants. Has done it before. Your scars are barely healed. Can still feel him all over your skin. It's insidious. Makes you want to take a fucking potato peeler to your body, just to rid yourself of your memories.

The way he looks at you, all dark and brooding, like he's some kind of 90's heartthrob that never stood the test of time, makes your fingerprint-shaped scars burn.

You ride the subway until the very final stop; not because you wanted to, just because you were following his lead.

Stupid, really. He was following yours. Of course he was.

The static voice of the automated alert lets you know you've reached Dadaepo.

Jungkook knows it well. Was his favourite place to explore as a kid. A hidden rocky alcove just beyond the cliff walk was the site of many discoveries as a kid; sea glass, bugs he can't remember the names of, and - in his later years - the scent of marijuana.

The fact you're still giving one another the silent treatment is comically unbelievable. It's been upwards of two hours since his car door slammed shut back in Daegu. Even longer, actually. Closer to three hours.

There's something so childish about how petty you both are - but at least this way, you can't miscommunicate.

You just don't communicate at all, and you think you prefer it that way.

The waves roll in as you sit, staring at nothing. Side by side. Miles apart. It all becomes a bit much for Jungkook. He knows he shouldn't make a sound, but he thinks he likes it better when you fight. At least that way he gets to hear your voice, no matter how scathing it can be.

"The last train back is in half an hour," Jungkook says quietly, unsure of how much time has passed. Dadaepo is fifty minutes away from the station. You'll have missed it, and are fully aware of it.

So you just shrug.

"Not have a fiancé to get home to?" He questions, and almost manages not to sound bitter. Almost.

Again, you shrug.

Hoseok is away for the week - an all-expenses training retreat over in Yeosu.

When your Father had still been in the police force, before moving into local politics, he'd gone on the same training programme. It's a yearly excursion. Just an excuse to get shitfaced with his crew and a chance to slip his wedding ring into his wallet, knowing your mother would never find out.

She'd always know. She was the one who did his laundry, after all.

Unlike your mother, however, you won't spend the week in a foul mood because of it.

That's not to say you won't spend the week in a foul mood - it's just that the reason for your awful mood is currently sitting next to you looking over the East China Sea.

"You should stop concerning yourself with my life," you tell him, voice quiet - but he hears you crystal clear, regardless. He's listening out for only you. Fuck the waves, fuck the dog walkers, fuck the traffic and the coffee shop soundtrack blaring just a few feet behind the woodland. You're the only one he hears.

He considers saying nothing, but just can't help himself - so he scoffs, and says, "shall I stop breathing, too, while I'm at it?"

It's a stupid comparison to make. His life doesn't depend on you. You tell him so.

"You need to breathe to stay alive. You never needed me to stay alive."

Never needed me at all.

"I don't know, C. Kang was pretty pissed when we let you get away," he says as he purses his lips. It's a miracle his nose still looks the same as it always did - unless it just got broken so many times that it somehow snapped back into place.

Thing is, Jungkook's not really thinking about that. The pain subdued. After a few weeks, it was like it never happened.

But the ache in his chest remained. His one source of chronic pain, and you're the one who held the knife. Sure, he's the one who guided your hands. Pulled them into his chest. Inflicted it upon himself.

"Your coworker," Jungkook finally sighs. He's not even sure why he's asking. He doesn't want the answer. "Is it... The ring. Is it him?"

And while you want to hurt Jungkook as much as you possibly can without laying a single finger on him, you know you've done Yoongi enough damage. Makes you sick thinking about his tender face; the way it'd light up around you. You think of Jieun, and the time spent together in the shop and it's so consuming that you can't even think of an appropriate response to Jungkook.

"Yoongi," you correct, but Jungkook already knew his name. Just didn't wanna acknowledge him as more than a meagre colleague. "No. It's not Yoongi."

But just for a night? It had been Yoongi. Or was it two nights? Your head taunts you. You fucked Yoongi. Fucked his life up. Fucked it all. Whatever becomes of you is what you deserve.

Jungkook is unaware of this as he clamps his lips together to stop the smile that's begging to break through his hard exterior.

"You ever..." You begin to mumble, but then realise who you're talking to. You don't want to converse with him. "Nevermind."

He knows this. Doesn't care. "Have I ever what?"

There's a moment of silence; waves lapping against the shoreline in place of your words.

"You ever do something that just destroys you?"

Your words linger like the brief seconds waves will take to kiss the shoreline; white bubbles sinking into sand, murky water retracing its steps and dissolving into the currents.

"Destroys you?" he asks, not because he needs clarification, but because he can't possibly imagine what you've done.

You simply nod.

And so he takes a moment to think. Decides it's about time he gave you some honesty.

"Yeah," he says gently. Can see there's something you're grappling with. Doesn't want to intrude, though. "I've done things that have destroyed me, C. You know I have."

The silence resumes once more. It's louder now.

If you listen closely enough, you can hear that chime in your stomach again. It's faint. You ignore it.

Jungkook can hear it too. It rings and rings like tinnitus. He can't ignore it. He can pretend that he detests it, though.

Moonlight ripples on the surface of the water. It rolls into shore, then pulls away again. Gets just close enough to touch, but not far enough to soak your feet.

It runs away from you as soon as it gets close, and the irony isn't lost on Jungkook. He'd always thought you'd behaved like the moon and her tides, after all. Cyclic. Endless. Eternal.

It sort of feels apt that you'd end up back here.

Yeah, he thinks as he refuses to look in your direction. Too consumed with the way the vast expanse almost looks like a black hole. Just like the tides.

But waves can roll up on any beach, and the moon caresses every inch of the earth during her slumber. There's nothing unique about the pair of you. Nothing special.

Insignificance has always been a fear of his. A life that could be chalked up to birth, then death; records in a library system forgotten about for years upon years. His impact? Null.

He'd seen it with his mother - her vibrancy, her love for life, for others - and how she'd all but been forgotten. Sometimes, he feels like he's the only one who remembers her.

Even his father seems to forget why he's in such a sorry state. His brother has a new family, now. And what does Jungkook have?

No family. That disintegrated. Yeah, they're still around, but they're not present. Not there for him when he needs them.

No career. Sure, he can get work wherever electricity is, but he's under Kang's thumb, now. He trains, and he fights. Time for honest work is non-existent.

No love. He's never been the type to need a relationship, but he'd gotten a little foolish. Gotten used to the comfort of another human. Now that he knows what it feels like - how nice it can be - he feels half alive without it.

The Jungkook beside you is just the same as the Jungkook you first met.

He's a little stronger, a little broader. Is missing a few of his piercings, and wears his hair dark now instead of the blonde you had always adored.

He's exactly the same, and yet forever changed.

He digs his fingers into the sand beside his thighs. The grains slip through the hollow gaps between his knuckles. Even the things within his grasp always seems to get away from him.

He hates the silence. Hates that he never knows what to say anymore.

And thankfully for him, you hate it just as much.

"Fighting a lot, these days, aren't you?" You ask, not that you need any clarification. You saw a note in one of Hoseok's files earlier on in the week. Just a small scrawl about Kang's, and the illegal gambling ring he's running. JJK had been written down, with a set of odds next to his name. Pretty good odds. Baby is a champion. You'd be proud, if the circumstances weren't so harrowing.

"Not any more so than usual," he lies, shutting down the conversation as soon as you start it. He just can't help himself. It's like he's hard-wired to fight.

You turn to look in his direction and are momentarily caught by how ethereal he looks when basking in silver moonlight. The tip of his nose looks cold, and yet his eyes are warm. Watery. Welcoming you to dive right in.

Sink, or swim?

He's got a bruise on the top of his cheekbone, and a small graze just in front of his ear. It's clear to see that he's been through the wringer recently. There's really no point in lying to you.

"No?" You ask, just to let him know you're aware he's full of shit.

"What does it matter if I am?"

"It doesn't."

And so silence settles again. Neither of you know how to interact with one another anymore. It's awkward and uncomfortable, and you both hate it - and yet there's nowhere either of you would rather be. No one else you'd rather be in discomfort with.

Time gets away from you. It chases through the night, just like his car used to do down the backroads of Daegu, with you in the passenger seat and your hand beneath his on the gear stick.

You wonder if he ever thinks of it; if he ever thinks of you in the same way you think of him.

You don't ask him, because no matter what the answer will be, you'll convince yourself it's a lie.

Midnight creeps in, and so does the chill of night air. It may be summer, but the sea breeze can be biting at times.

Jungkook's fine - his workout gear is keeping the heat in well, but you're underdressed. Huddled up and clearly not enjoying yourself but refusing to voice discomfort, Jungkook is the one who forces you up. Says it's stupid to still be out by the water. Tells you that there will be loads of bugs about, soon.

You both know that the bugs have been out since dusk. Leaving now makes no difference.

Ignoring the hand he holds out as you get to your feet, you rid your legs of sand, and head towards the pathway through the small wooded area.

Neither of you have any idea what to do. The keys in Jungkook's pockets are rendered useless, his car still down in a back alley of Daegu, and the buses have stopped running. Subway, too.

You've no bag with you, just your phone (that's dangerously low on charge) and a card tucked into the back of the case.

Jungkook's phone is new. Holds it's charge well. He's not worried about it.

He's got his wallet, too, so at least he's a little bit more foreign-city-ready than you'd been upon your decision to run off to Busan. He's glad he came with you, now.

He figures he'll just stay at his Dad's place - but it means getting a taxi, and he really can't be fucked with an hour's drive this late at night.

He's unaware that the card in the back of your phone isn't yours. It's under Hoseok's name. He gets a notification every time it's used. It's why you're so selective about how you spend your money.

You've no ID with you, either. Left it in your purse back in Hoseok's apartment. Hadn't really expected to end up in Busan, in all honestly.

Especially not with Jungkook.

If you wanna check in to a hotel - which is the only option, really - you're gonna need your ID. Standard policy around these parts. No ID, no room.

You tell Jungkook this.

He sighs. Grates his jaw a little.

"And you didn't think that maybe it would be smart to take your ID out with you? What if you'd gotten in an accident, huh? No one would have known who to call, 'cause they wouldn't know who you are."

"I was hardly gonna get in an acci-"

"How do you know?" He cuts you off. "You can't plan these kinds of things, CC. Accidents just happen."

"Is that what this is, then?" You scoff, folding your arms over your chest as you walk a little further away from him up the sandy sidewalk. "Another calamity of yours? Just ended up here accidentally?"

Sometimes, he considers kissing you just to stop your from spouting off at him over nonsensical issues.

Jungkook thinks it's obvious he ended up in Busan for one reason, and one reason alone:

He'll follow you to the end of the earth, if it means he gets to be with you.

He's hardly gonna tell you that, though, is he?

"Ended up here cause I missed the beach-" And I missed you, too. "- but it's late," Jungkook says as you meander back up the sidewalk without much aim, and nods across the road to a beachfront hotel. "Let's just crash here and figure out how to get home in the morning?"

For reasons you can't understand, you find yourself agreeing. When you explain that you can't use your card, he shrugs. Says he'll cover it. Says he doesn't care.

It's a different story when you're in the hotel.

The presence of the concierge makes you feel unsure of yourself. Reminds you of how embarrassed you are by what Jungkook did to you; how foolish you had felt. You feel the need to defend yourself.

"Do you have any suites available?" You ask the concierge with a smile so sweet it could rot his inside. He thinks you're sweet. Thinks Jungkook should smile more. Knows he'd be smiling if he had you alone in a hotel room.

"All booked out, I'm afraid," the concierge says as he checks the screen in front of him. The glare reflects in his glasses, and you wonder how many times he's been caught out looking at things he shouldn't. Not just at work, but in general. He seems like a sweet kid - but a kid nonetheless.

"What's the most expensive room you have available, then?" You query instead.

Jungkook shakes his head. Looks at his feet. Tenses his jaw. Thinks you're fucking unbelievable.

You know he's got money problems. Know he's fending off sharks from his poor Father's back. Know that the only reason he fucked you over was to finally have a decent payday.

And yet you choose to do this? Knowing he won't kick up a fuss in public?

Spineless bitch. Spiteful.

But, oh, how you love to hit him where it hurts.

The concierge is none the wiser of Jungkook's discomfort. Tells you both that there's a deluxe sea-view room left.

"It's gone midnight, so I can give you a discounted rate," he says, and still quotes a price that would make even a black card owner raise an eyebrow.

Jungkook looks at you. Holds your gaze. Passes over his card. Waits till the concierge is retrieving your keys to hiss, "you're the most expensive mistake I've ever made."

You just smile. "Shouldn't live life with regrets. They give you wrinkles."

"And stress gives you grey hair," he counters, insinuating that you've got some growing through. The concierge returns to his position behind the desk, so Jungkook plays his role up. "You been stressed lately, baby?"

The concierge coughs. Holds out your key. "Seventh floor. Follow the corridor from the elevator right to the end, and you'll find room number one." Jungkook takes the key with a polite nod. "If you need anything else, the front desk is open twenty-four hours. I do hope you enjoy your stay."

The tension between you and Jungkook is palpable. The little routine you've cooked up in which neither of you speak unless it's to bait each other out continues. Doesn't end until you're in the room - and what a fucking room it is.

Crisp white sheets on a bed that is far too big; a bathtub in the corner of the room instead of the bathroom. Huge windows that let the midnight view of the ocean pour in, and chiffon curtains that will keep you hidden from the outside world. You won't close the blinds. Will want the morning sunlight to bathe you in its glory; make you feel like you belong to the days instead of the nights.

So much of your relationship with Jungkook was hidden in the shadows of Daegu nights, but it had been different in Busan. It's hard to pretend as if you don't miss it.

Hard, but not impossible.

You toss him a pillow and the stiff cotton throw from the end of the bed. "Here. The bathtub looks cosy. Sweet dreams."

"I'm not sleeping in the fucking bath," he laughs, but it's full of scorn. He finds no humour in this situation. "If I pay for a hotel room, I'm sleeping in the bed. Bath is all yours."

And yet you stay put.

When Jungkook turns off the main light? You stay put.

When he grasps the back of his sweater and pulls it over his head? You stay put.

When he says, 'No? Not fancy the bath?' as he tosses the pillow you had thrown at him back onto the empty side of the bed? You stay put.

When he walks around to that side? When he pushes the duvet back? When his weight dents the mattress? The scent of his aftershave intrudes on your senses? The sound of his bare skin nestling into the sheets is all you can hear? When he turns his back to you? Turns off the bedside lamp?

You stay fucking put.

And you know you shouldn't, and know that this is all kinds of wrong, but my god, it's all you've wanted for months: the past. All that's missing is your arm looped over his waist.

When he turns to face you? Looks at you, eyes all glassy, lips pursed? Tries to get a read on you?

You don't move a muscle. Just look at him right back. Wonder how he can still look so beautiful in such darkness. Wonder if his hair always spilt onto the pillow as it does now, and you'd just never realised when he was blonde.

And then you wonder if maybe someone else had been in this position with him during your absence.

It would be okay if they have. Wouldn't be their fault. Wouldn't be his, either. You're the one who left. Have a ring around your finger, now, no matter how loosely. Would be incredibly unfair to expect Jungkook to spend the last few months alone.

But the more you think about it, the more you get caught up in your own head, and how he'd kissed you beneath his shower, skin coated in red dye. Has you thinking about the way he'd always kiss you as he came, and the 'forever's he'd whispered in the dark of night.

So fucking cruel of him. He always knew that forever wasn't an option. There was no reason he had to pretend there was.

And maybe you're just tired, or maybe you've just been keeping it all bottled up for so long that the pressure had finally reached full capacity, but you just can't help yourself as you say, "why couldn't you just leave me alone?"

Your brows furrow. Lips pout. You know what's coming and you can't even be bothered to stop the tears. Maybe he should know how badly he affected you. Maybe it's the only way he'll understand. Maybe then he'll care.

For now, you can't bring yourself to think too hard. You just let the tears fall.

"C'mon, C," Jungkook whispers as his thumb strokes over your cheek. His hands are a little rough. He's been working on his car a lot lately, and hasn't taken time to look after himself, instead. It's self-sabotage. Thinks he doesn't deserve to feel good. Physically, mentally, whatever. "This isn't you."

Oh, it's laughable. Hilarious, you think, that he seems to think he knows who the fuck you are. You wanna scream. Wanna tell him that he knows fuck all. Tell him that you never let him see even an ounce of what makes you 'you'.

Denial is a strange thing. Has you lying to yourself like it's a bible oath. Jeon Jungkook knows exactly who you are. You just wish that he didn't.

"You've no idea who I am," you whisper back through partially gritted teeth, that are stopping your sobs from leaking through.

Jungkook purses his lips together. Shakes his head. Strokes away another tear. Is almost silent when manages to croak out, "I wish that were true."

And you might be wrong, but it sounds like he's holding back a tear or two, as well.

You reach over to toy with the key around his neck. It's warm in your fingers, the heat of his skin keeping it cosy. It's amazing how warm he always is, you think. Never met anyone like it. When your eyes flick up to his, ever so briefly, you notice that they seem warm, too. Just a byproduct of his body temperature, you decide.

"Why coke?" You whisper as you bring the key to your lips. Press it against them, just to feel the pressure of something that belongs to him.

He'd kiss you now, if you asked him to.

But you won't, so he doesn't.

He just shrugs instead.

"Why do we do anything of the things we do, C?" He pauses, but doesn't anticipate a response from you. Just continues, instead. "To feel alive? To feel closer to death? I don't know."

Lost one drug, he thinks to himself. It's just a replacement.

And it's funny, because aside from the lines he'd snorted on the first night you'd returned just to fucking cope with it all, he's not touched it. Thinks if he could just touch you, he'd never go near coke again.

You hold the key to his lips, now. Wait for him to press his lips against it. He does so, keeping his eyes locked on yours. Funny. Seems the key works on something, after all.

When you pull the key away, you let the chain hang slack, before dropping it to his chest. The ridges of the metal are sharp against his skin, but he's numb to it. Can only feel the print of your fingertips and the scars that are embedded into his skin from them.

"You should stop," you whisper, stroking down the bridge of his nose with the side of your index finger. His eyes close. Jaw tenses. He inhales. "It'll ruin this pretty nose of yours."

And then he smiles; eyes still closed, lip ring flipping in the corner of his mouth.

But the tepid movement of your finger doesn't stop. It reaches the tip of his nose. Trails down his septum. Encroaches on his cupid bow - and then it comes to rest on his lips.

Just like the key, he presses against it. Kisses the side of your finger. Keeps his eyes closed. Lets it linger.

He hears the change in your breathing. How you inhale a little sharper than before. How it sounds painful.

Doesn't wanna open his eyes. Doesn't want to look at you, knowing that you'll probably look so tragically hurt that it would be captivating, in a way. He'd wanna kiss it all better, but knows better than to attempt such a thing.

"I don't think I can, C," he eventually says. Opens his eyes. Is devastated by your beauty. "Don't think I'll ever be able to stop."

You both know he isn't talking about coke.

"Then it'll ruin you," you whisper, pretending as if you still are.

He just nods. "So let it."

#jungkook fanfiction #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook masterlist #jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook smut #bts fanfic #throttle #jungkook fluff #angst #smut #jungkook

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clubdionysus · 6 months ago

Text

[BAD DECISION #20] - Park Jimin... Again

warnings: ohh this one hurts my heart! drinking, drunk hook-up, fingering, oral (m receiving), both parties are fully consenting but the OC is having a bit of a hard time mentally (head vs heart kind thing!), it makes me really sad for her reading it back :( anyways, one of the biggest B birds is tackled!!!! kinda!!! the smut isn't he he smutty smut!! more so mechanical! controversial opinion but one of my fave starluvrs chapters!!

soundtrack: seesaw - bts

wc: 6.8k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

"Hey," Jeongguk says quietly as he comes to stand beside you. You're standing behind the front desk at your work, watching on with subtle pride as Tae's event kicks into gear. Chatter pollutes the air, Tae's chosen choice of jazz music softly humming beneath the conversation.

Jeongguk's dressed well. More formal than you've ever seen him. A dark, silky shirt hangs off his broad shoulders, unbuttoned just enough to give you vivid flashbacks of your hand around his throat, nails scratching ever so gently at his skin. His usual silver chain sits prettily in place, but a second necklace hangs a little lower. As always, his hair is tousled in such a way it screams 'i woke up like this' - but you've seen him in the mornings. Know that he will have spent a solid half an hour perfecting the look.

On his feet are his trusty Chuck Taylors. Makes you laugh when you look down and see them next to your sparkly heels. You nudge against his shoes with your own. He does it back.

If you were to glance in the mirror in the far corner of the room, you'd notice how good you look together. Your dress is tight - a well-structured bodice with a low back and a straight skirt that finishes midway down your thighs - but chiffon billows around your arms. A subtle shimmer runs through the threads of the otherwise black fabric, and Jeongguk thinks it's fitting. Doesn't mention it, though.

Instead, he gently strokes the top of your back where your shoulder blades are far too tense. You're more poised than usual. It's stress, he thinks.

He'd be right in thinking that - but you smile regardless. Won't let anything dampen how well Tae's show is going.

Lights dim, the focus is all on the art pieces. Free champagne (which is really just prosecco but you're hoping no one will notice) is flowing, and appetisers are being eaten. The deli cafe a few floors below had agreed to do the catering, and you're thankful that they agreed to do it for a discount rate. You're barely breaking even with the launch event, but you hope that it will prove to be fruitful for Tae and the other artists in the future.

"Hey," you whisper right back, knocking your shoulder against him tenderly. "You good?"

He nods and hums a pretty little purr of confirmation. "You?"

You do the same back. It's not for a lack of wanting to engage in conversation, it's just that you know your social battery is gonna be worn down to the metal casing by the end of the evening, and so you're preserving your resources.

Jeongguk is aware of this. He always clocks it whenever you reached social capacity in the club - you'll sway instead of dance, and drunkenly walk away from people, favouring the bar instead of the dancefloor. He knows you've maybe got a solid six hours in you, but anything after that? He's not so sure.

"The place looks great," he tells you - and it really does.

For the launch night, you've optimised space and minimised the number of easels that are out. Furniture has been rearranged to create a natural flow for attendees to walk through, in order for each artist to have their work fully admired.

Tae's collection is the focal point, of course, but it's done in such a subtle way that most won't notice. The design of it all is smart - helped by Jimin's expertise in interior staging, brought to life by the brawn of Jeongguk and how he's able to move even the heaviest furniture with ease, and finished off with Tae's carefully crafted artwork.

They make for a great team.

Yoongi's custom-built frames and display units are perfect for the space, and Namjoon is by the entrance greeting critics he knows from other papers. Tae couldn't have surrounded himself with better people.

You think it's deserved. His work is gorgeous. If you had a spare penny, you'd invest in some. Know that he's destined for greatness, and that this is just the start of his professional career. If anything, you feel lucky to be a part of it all, no matter how small.

But see that's the thing - Taehyung always had these resources around him. Had it not been for you pulling them all together and actually using them, he never would have done. Not to the best of his ability, at least. You're just as important to this as the rest of them are.

Jeongguk couldn't be prouder - of you, of Tae, of what you've achieved. It's early and the night is young, but things are heading in the right direction. People are filtering in gradually. Half a dozen people have come off the street just to see what's going on.

"I think it's incredible, Byeol," Jeongguk says softly. "All of this... I just. Wow. Amazing."

"Stop," you laugh quietly. "Was a team effort."

He shakes his head. Thinks you're by far the most important piece of the puzzle.

"Yeah, well," he shrugs. "What's a team without a leader?"

You glance over at him, a little bemused by his appreciation.

He looks down at you and smiles, lip ring flipping ever so slightly in that way you adore so much. In the dull light behind the desk, a small speck of glitter twinkles on his shoulder.

"Here," you say as you reach over to pick it away, before dusting it off your fingers. "I fear I've cursed you with glitter."

Jeongguk shakes his head. Tells you he doesn't mind. He kind of likes the sparkles. Is still finding tiny reminders of you in his sheets. Makes him smile every time.

When he was sleeping with Hayun, it would be her lipstick that would stain his skin. His mugs, his sheets, his shirts, too.

Part of him wonders what permanence Jiyeong will hold.

Part of him kind of doesn't wanna find out.

But speak of the Devil and he doth appear - or think of Jiyeong, and sure enough, there she is by the entrance, speaking with Hoseok, who is handling entry.

She's dressed well - a navy blue dress hugs her enviable figure, which you know she's worked damn hard to achieve. Her hair is down, and her make-up is minimal; a natural beauty. Not a speck of glitter in sight.

"Ah, it does appear your princess has arrived, Prince Charming," you tease him with a little more pomp and poise than is needed, just to echo your point.

"Fuck off," he laughs - but heads on his way regardless.

You watch on as Jeongguk greets her, a hand in his pocket while the other scratches at the back of his head. He laughs, looks to the floor, then back up at her. When he smiles, his lip ring does the thing .

You look away. Find Tae in the crowd. Head for him instead.

Your palms feel a little clammy, and your head doesn't feel like it's screwed on properly, but there's no feasible reason to feel such a way. Belated nerves, maybe? It's a big night. Tae has a lot riding on it. Yeah. That must be it.

As you approach, with an extra champagne flute in hand to top him up, he beams at you.

Smile wide, Taehyung is every bit the schmoozer. He's been talking the ears off a local critic for the past ten minutes, and they've laughed at every joke.

It probably helps that he's dressed like the boy of everyone's fantasies; ivory shirt and dark slacks, lockets around his neck and dark hair pushed back to frame his portrait-worthy face. In a room full of priceless art, Kim Taehyung could be considered a masterpiece himself.

The thought glitters in your mind, illuminating the fact that you think this could apply to Jeongguk, too. You twist ever so slightly to look at him, but stop yourself. Your nosey tendencies can wait.

For now, Tae is babbling on about your contribution to the show, and you're far better off focusing on him. He's without an agent, so you're playing the role for now.

You don't really know what it all entails, but you've read a wikihow page and watched a couple of youtube videos. Know enough to get by. It's just to stop investors from thinking they can take advantage of Tae. You're protection, in a way, which is laughable.

"You've an eye for curation," a critic tells you, after Tae finishes bragging about your dedication to the show - but you shake your head.

"It's all Taehyung's genius," you smile. "He's an artist through and through, and it's his concepts we've brought to life. I'm merely a facilitator of his vision."

It's all so pompous. You hate the bullshit chatter, but know it's needed. So does Tae. You've never seen him so composed. He doesn't even falter when Danbi shows up half an hour later.

Though he does get a little giggly when she approaches him to gush about how beautiful his work is. He grins - and grins, and grins, and grins - and tells her that it's nothing. She tells him he's remarkable, and her words replay in his head for the rest of the night.

Kind of like how Jeongguk's hand on your back, the intrusive scent of his aftershave, and the thought of his lip ring doing the thing whenever he nibbles down on it, plagues yours. It's bizarre.

Realistically, you know it's because you're nervous, and have always sought comfort in him. If he were by your side, maybe you'd worry less about Tae impressing the critics. Maybe he'd joke with you about that one rogue piece of art neither of you really like.

Instead, he stands with Jiyeong, engaged in conversation with the Mins. If you were to be looking in his direction, you'd notice Seoyeon trying to catch your eye. 'Are you okay?' her nuanced gaze would ask, and you'd smile. Nod your head. Assure her that you're grand.

You refuse to let yourself linger. It's not healthy. Jeongguk is your friend. Dependency isn't cute on anyone.

But Jiyeong looks cute on his arm, and Jeongguk looks cute when he explains different art facts he's learnt from you to her. The recycled knowledge is wasted on a mind like Jiyeong's. Her interests lie elsewhere. It's not her kind of thing - but Jeongguk is her kind of man, so she nods along and is ever so pleasant.

When Nabi arrives, you're pleased to see her act just as frosty towards Jiyeong as she had towards you.

"Don't mind her," Jimin grins beside you as you watch the interaction with great curiosity. "Nabi is... Well, she's Nabi."

You smile. Jimin looks dashing as ever. Is wearing a thin knitted sweater with a pair of tight jeans hugging his toned legs. Chelsea boots accent his look, and you find yourself smiling at the predictability of him. His style differs from that of his friends, but you find that you quite like it.

His hair is perfectly permed to fall back off his face, showing off his dark eyes and cute little cheeks. He's paradoxical. Sweet and spicy all in one bite.

"She always like this?" You ask, not really caring if Jimin knows you don't feel so fondly towards her.

"Uh-huh," he nods. "She comes across as rude, but honestly I think she's just shy."

"Shy?" You sneer - but catch the unpleasant look on your face and try to soften it. The stress has made you a little snappy, and you don't like it.

"Shy," he nods again with a laugh. Finds your uncharacteristically sour face rather funny. "She's hot though, so everyone thinks she's being a dick. She'll warm up. She always does - you really think Seoyeon would be friends with her if she didn't?"

He's got a good point. Seoyeon is potentially the sweetest person you've ever met. You can't imagine her being friends with assholes - but then again, even assholes need friends. Seoyeon would always try and see the good in people, if she could.

"She scares me," you tell him. He hands you his champagne flute. It's half empty, but he thinks you need a drink. He's right.

"You scare her, probably. You're some random girl showing up all buddy-buddy with her oldest friends without warning," he says, trying to put it into perspective. "She gets back from visiting family abroad and BOOM . There's some girl riding shotgun in Jeongguk's car and helping with Tae's career in a way she never could. It's intimidating. She doesn't know her place anymore."

When he says it like that, you cringe. Feel guilty for being such a harsh judge towards her. Sure, Nabi had been rude, but you can't go through life expecting everyone to act in the same way you would. It's differences that make us interesting, after all.

"How long had been gone?" You ask quietly, knowing it's really none of your business.

"Six months," Jimin says. "Her grandparents live in Scotland. It's where she's been. You should ask her, yourself. Might be a good chance to get to know her."

You nod. Fold your arms across your chest. Decide you know far too much about this poor girl's personal life already. Anything else you learn, you would like it to be directly from her.

"Would she like to come out with us?" You offer. "After the show?"

Jimin smiles. "Probably. I'll ask."

When she glances over to you a little while later, Jimin clearly mentioning the invite, you smile. You think she smiles back, but it's hard to tell - though you can clearly see her nod.

You sigh a shallow breath of relief and are so focused on the interaction that you almost don't notice Jeongguk coming to stand beside you.

"Clock's not struck midnight yet, Charming," you hum when you smell his aftershave. "Where's your girl?"

He nudges his shoulder against yours and takes your champagne flute from your hand - your fifth of the night and counting - before knocking it all back in one swig.

"Couldn't stay. She's meeting friends, so we'll probably see her out tonight - if that's okay?"

"Yeah, sure," you say without hesitation. "Of course that's fine. It was really nice of her to come along."

Jeongguk nods. "Yeah. I think she enjoyed it."

You nod, too. It's a little awkward. Neither of you know how to navigate conversations about other people. You're coy; don't wanna ask too much.

"That's good," you smile. "Fancy another drink?"

"Please."

One drink turns into three, which turns into six. By the time the show has dwindled down to just the usual suspects, and Tae is popping a champagne bottle in celebration of an exhibition gone well, you're ready to hit the clubs.

Everyone is in good spirits.

There's not a single face without a smile as you head downtown, not to Dionysus, but to a bar just across the road. The boys are regulars here just as much, but it's a quieter vibe - small rooms that allow for a more private setting.

They instantly head towards one of the back coves. The room is tiny. Cramped. Dark. Stinks of beer and cigarette smoke. There are black sofas lining the walls, and you dread to think of what horrors they've seen as you sink down into one beside Jeongguk.

Not much thought is given to your seating arrangement. His legs are stretched out, knees wide apart, one hand over his crotch, the other tucked behind you. Legs pulled up to your chest, your feet are on the sofa, shoes on the floor. One of your arms wraps around your knees, hugging them into you. Your other hand mindlessly rests on his thigh.

It's dangerously close to his hand. So close that he reaches out with his fingers. They delicately toy with yours. You think very little of it. Just finds comfort in it. So does he.

No one notices.

You're wedged between Jeongguk and Danbi, who also has an incredibly giddy Taehyung next to her.

Or at least she does, until he hops up to grab beer pong cups from the bar. He returns with everything he needs for the game, but leaves again, only to return with a tray of shots, too.

It's just sourz. Has nothing on purple starfuckers - but it serves a purpose. Is exactly what you need as you stand at one end of the beer pong table.

Nabi is on the other end, Jimin by her side.

Tae got distracted by Danbi, well, existing. Put the cups down and haven't thought about them since. The game is yours now.

It's nice seeing Nabi actually smile. Has you supposing that Jimin was right, after all. She cheers when anyone gets shots in, even if it means she has to drink. A good sport. Just wants everyone to have fun. Knows that she sometimes can rub people up the wrong way, so appreciates the fact you made sure she was invited.

She always would have been invited. Taehyung had already mentioned it to her - but the fact that you made Jimin check? She appreciates it. Probably won't tell you so directly, but hopes that you'll see she's trying.

And you do. You're trying, too. It's always weird when someone new enters a dynamic. It's why you're trying to be mindful of Jiyeong, and excuse away Jeongguk for not being totally focused on the evening.

He's torn between his friends and making sure he replies to her drunk messages quickly enough. It doesn't help that he's also drunk and really can't be fucked with being on his phone in a dark room. It's embarrassing. He's here with friends. Doesn't wanna be glued to a screen.

His phone is facedown by the sofa when he comes to stand behind you, while you gear up for your next shot. You're currently a point up, and only have to get three more cups out.

"Easy does it," Jeongguk husks just loud enough for you to hear. If his voice wasn't enough to distract you, his hand on your hip might just be. It's disguised by the shadows of the dark room, but the sensation burns so brightly you're surprised no one else notices.

"I am easy," you tell him, not realising how bad that sounds until it's out of your mouth. The glitter on your cheeks catches in the dim fairy lights as you giggle at yourself.

Jeongguk just smirks. Shakes his head.

"No, you're not."

"Well, what am I then?" you flirt a little. " Hard ?"

Oh God, he's smirking again.

There's a mirror on the far wall behind Nabi and Jimin. You hate it.

Hate how you never used to notice mirrors before Jeongguk came into your life, and hate how you noticed every single one of them now.

Hate how good Jeongguk looks, dark hair waving divinely around his features. His broad shoulders are hidden by his shirt, but he's loosened his buttons to frame his collar bones in silk. Sleeves rolled up, forearms on show, he's a menace.

The kind of guy your mother warned you about, cosplaying as the boy next door. Trouble. Sin. Temptation.

And yet he's just so pretty - doe-eyed and dewy-nosed - that he's impossible to resist.

"Maybe," he sings, taking a swig of his drink before holding it to your lips. You let him tilt it. Drink it down. Tastes like shit, but you don't care. Are too enthralled by the flirt.

"Nah," you laugh softly as you lick the liquor from your lips. "I'm not hard."

Jeongguk's had too much to drink. He knows better than to reply in the way he wants to. Knows he shouldn't grip your waist and pull you back so that your ass is rested against his crotch.

He knows, he knows, he knows.

"Funny," he husks. "You might not be, but me? Well..."

And yet his grip does tighten. He closes the gap. Makes your breath hitch.

"Haven't got all day Disco Ball!" Jimin calls over, blissfully unaware of what's going on in the dark.

Jeongguk loosens his grip. Takes a step back. Walks around to the side of the table and slumps down into the sofa beside Namjoon.

From the corner of your eye, you can see them whispering to each other, but decide to ignore it.

Instead, you line up your shot. Focus. Narrow your eyes and ignore the heckles Jimin is throwing in your direction. Anything to put you off your game. Nabi slaps at his shoulder and tells him to cut it out.

And so you smile at her. Mouth the words 'thank you' in her direction.

Jimin just leans on the table. Tells you that he gets a free shot if you take any longer.

"That's bullshit and you know it," Jeongguk calls over, just to let you all know he's still invested.

Of course he is. He wants you to win.

Just didn't wanna take things too far.

"You've got this, B!"

And you do .

The shot is smooth. Sharp. The tiny white ball knocks against the lip of the most distant cup and falls directly into the small pool of beer it's holding.

Jimin stares at it in disbelief.

"What?" You grin, as Jeongguk cheers you on and Namjoon laughs at Jimin's poor defeated face. "Drink up, Park. Haven't got all day."

The rest of the game continues much like that. Jeongguk sits on the sidelines and lets you take the reins. Doesn't interfere. Just watches on, with a curious sense of pride and something he can't quite place. Just notices that his jaw gets a little tense whenever your start joking around with Jimin.

It's nothing a fresh shot doesn't solve. The liquor eases his jaw. Makes him forget the uncomfortable feeling that comes with watching your glitter sparkle in someone else's eyes.

He brushes the feeling to the side. Ignores it.

But when you've been gone for ten minutes, and he realises he doesn't know where Jimin is either, he pauses. Doesn't want another shot cause he feels a little sick.

Decides the bathroom is the best place for him. It's a bog standard toilet - no gender separation of the stalls. Just a door into a room with a sink in it, and another door that leads to the actual toilet.

"Shit, sorry," Jeongguk mumbles as he opens the door, realising someone's stood by the sink.

"Hey," you chime pleasantly. "It's cool. Come in. No one's in there."

You've just been touching up your makeup. Have no idea where Jimin is. You've not seen him. Assume he's flirting with some random by the bar. Seems like him.

And yet Jeongguk's drunk tongue decides that he'd quite like to just make sure you haven't seen Jimin. It's stupid. He's got no reason to care. Doesn't care. Is just a little too tipsy for his own good.

"If I didn't know any better," Jeongguk says quietly, coming to stand behind you. "I'd say you've been flirting with Jimin."

The bathroom is cramped, graffiti covering the walls. There's no soap and the hand dryer is broken. It's seen better days. Seen a lot of sin. You glance up at him as you wash your hands the best you can. The position is all too familiar.

Mirrors and Jeongguk?

Yeah. A view you know well.

You smirk. Raise your brows. "So what if I have been?"

He shrugs. Looks at your hair, and starts to toy with it. Scoops it together to push it all over a single shoulder.

He leaves your neck exposed, and bites down on his lips to stop himself from doing things he knows he shouldn't. A tiny waft of your perfume intrudes on his senses. God . He really does fucking like your perfume.

"Just curious," he says. "That's all."

You think that will be the end of his interrogation.

Think that Jeongguk is just throwing questions into the void, but that your lack of a clear answer will deter him.

It does. Only for a moment, though. He's still stroking at your hair. Doesn't look at you. Just your damn hair.

And then, seemingly out of nowhere, he asks, "Are you gonna fuck him again?"

You say nothing, just continue washing your hands as you think about what the fuck to say back. You've not been planning on it, but the question sounds a bit like an accusation. Sounds like Jeongguk is probing you. Sounds unlike him. Sounds like he wants a fight.

Shutting the tap off, you rest your palms on the edge of the basin and look at his reflection. You're annoyed to find him still watching his own hands as they stroke through your hair.

"Why?" You question. He's never been one to cast judgement over your choices. Never. You're pissed that it seems like he's doing it now. "Should I fuck him again?"

Jeongguk's the one who falters now.

Only for a split second, but long enough for you to know he's running hurdles in his brain.

He doesn't know why he started the conversation, and doesn't know where the fuck he hopes it ends - he just knows he can't seem to stop it.

The dingy light flickers ever so gently, like morse code. Dash, dot... Dash, dash, dash.

Indifference is feigned well as he shrugs. "If you want."

And you're not sure why, but you ask, "Do you want me to?"

When he looks up and catches your gaze in the aged, desilvered mirror ahead of you both, he's hard to read.

His stare is hard, but his features are soft. Cheeks a little pink. Lips pretty and pouty like they are always are.

"Wasn't that the whole point of the birds?" He asks. "We fuck about, get you comfortable with intimacy... you have better sex?"

You scoff. Shake your head as you look down to where your hands grip the porcelain basin. There are water droplets still on your skin. Sort of look like tears, you think.

"Mhmm," you finally say as your eyes dart up again, with a nod and a smile so fake that even the alcohol can't convince Jeongguk it's genuine. "I'm sure Jimin will be thrilled to have your leftovers."

"What?" he asks, a little confused.

Running your hands through your hair, you disrupt the preening he's been doing and let your hair messily fall into a more natural state. His hands drop from their position by your shoulders. Distance is created.

"Surely it's easier to start off with someone you already know?" He continues. "And the fuck are you on about? Leftovers? You know I hate it when you say shit like that, Byeol. It's not like that."

In Jeongguk's mind, it's really not that dissimilar to your setting him up with Jiyeong. You had started him off easy. Someone he knows won't reject him.

Interesting how he's already convinced there'll be a next; that Jiyeong is a start, not an end.

Longevity isn't something that he sees in her.

A certain guilt lies within him whenever they're together because of this, but he thinks perhaps he's writing it off too soon. Maybe it's his brain self-sabotaging like it always does.

"So what's different?" you say quietly, and turn to face him.

In the mirror, the open back of your dress has your spine on full display, and Jeongguk's reminded of how he traced down it in his kitchen; you bent over his counter, threats of fucking Jimin again acting as foreplay.

He's only got himself to blame.

"How will fucking Jimin now be any different to the last time?"

Jeongguk shrugs. Starts toying with your hair again. You wish he would stop.

And yet you don't make him. He's gentle as he tucks the hair over your ear, mindful of your piercings.

"You know the house layout, now," he smirks, trying to lighten the mood. He really doesn't want to argue with you. "You won't trip up on your way out."

"Shut the fuck up," you smile, not wanting to find humour in his words. "Who knows? Maybe I'll be able to stay the night, now."

He nods. Purses his lips. Looks in your eyes as he whispers, "I'll be so proud of you if you do."

You think he means it.

So does he.

It's not something he's tried with you. Not a bird that's been completed - but one of the ones that means the most, he thinks.

It's sitting on his desk at home.

Had fallen after you'd agreed to stop doing the birds for the time being.

"You would?" You whisper back, and ignore the way his thumb is stroking your hip. Pretend like he isn't so close you can practically taste his drink of choice.

"I would," he says back so quietly it's barely even a breath. The way he nods his head forces his nose to nudge ever so gently against yours. It's nothing new. Nothing that hasn't been done before. "You've done so well, Byeol. Faced so many fears."

Haven't kissed you, though, you think - and it takes everything in you not to close the gap.

"It's still scary," you say, a hand on his chest, the other resting on the crook of his neck.

If anyone were to walk in right now, there'd be a million questions asked - and yet neither of you questions the familiarity of your embrace.

Intimacy has been fostered between the pair of you. Exactly what the birds were trying to prevent. You were supposed to face your fears; untie the acts from any romantic feelings.

It's why you tell yourself this is normal.

It's why you're utterly convinced that this is just a byproduct of the birds, and that it's not actually real.

"I used to be scared of the dark," he tells you with a shy smile, looking down as he laughs ever so gently. You laugh, too. It's cute.

He withdraws a little. Lets you go. Rests his back against the far wall and drinks in the sight of you.

Your lips are blushed. Pouty. Kiss deprived. Glitter shimmers by your eyes and he's so glad of how predictable you always are. Sees stars even on the cloudiest of nights with you.

Jeongguk just runs a hand through his hair and shrugs.

"Still don't like it much," he continues. "Spook myself out sometimes. There's a corner of my room that's a little darker than the rest of the place and... yeah. It freaks me out. But you know what?"

"What?" you enthuse, the smile on your lips definitely the result of a few too many drinks. It matches his.

He reaches over to the light switch. Turns it off. Stumbles a little from his lost balance, and regains it by reaching out for you. You steady him - and you're right back where you started, far too close.

"I'm not scared of it anymore," he whispers. "I don't like it much, and I prefer having a little light to guide me - but I'm not scared ."

"And this is relevant... how?" You giggle, as your hands hold onto the front of his shirt.

It's at this point Jeongguk knows he fucked, for Jeongguk's utterly convinced if he doesn't kiss you, he'll die.

He wants to press his lips down on yours as you giggle. Wants to taste the alcohol on your tongue. Wants to feel your teeth bite down on his bottom lip. Oh, god , he wants it . Wants you . Just once. Just so he knows what it's like.

He knows you kiss. Saw Jimin kiss you that very first night. Sure, you deflected it - but that initial contact? The way your lips looked as they pressed down into someone else's?

God, he just wants to know. Has to know.

Never been into voyeurism, but the more he thinks about you with someone else, the more he knows he'd gladly watch.

Perhaps 'gladly' is the wrong word. He'd fuckin' hate it - but he'd take it just to be blessed with a visual of you doing his favourite thing in the world.

But then he feels guilty, again.

He knows he's not strictly off the market, and that he is still single, but he's always been a one-girl kinda guy. Never fucked around with more than one at any one given time.

Would feel fucking awful if things with Jiyeong progressed, knowing that he'd gotten far too close for comfort with you in the early days.

He wants you in his life.

If he fucks around with you now, then it writes off any chance of that when he and Jiyeong become official.

So he pulls away from you again, and reaches for the light. Can't find it. Gives up. Cracks the door ajar a little. The light that pours in is dusty. Smoke filled. The particles dance in the air; filth in the purity of the one thing that keeps you breathing. His foot holds the door open. He bathes in the dingy lighting of the bar, his features masked by shadows.

"It's okay that you still don't like intimacy, B," he tells you. "What matters is that you still try. Even without me. Even if it scares you. You just gotta try. Just gotta keep trying."

You reach for the door and pull it further open. Let the light pour in.

"Gotta keep trying," you nod. "I should probably-"

"Yeah, yeah, no, of course," Jeongguk nods as you gesture to the door. "Go. Sorry for walking in on you like that."

"It's no bother," you tell him with a small smile.

And you really do mean it. Jeongguk never bothers you. You're always pleased to have his company around.

You're less pleased to realise how fucking wet you are as you walk back to the group. Been in his proximity for all of five minutes and you're a state . Maybe he's got a point. Maybe you do need to get laid.

When Jeongguk rejoins the group, he doesn't look at you. Picks up his jacket, and mumbles something to Jimin. A laugh is shared, before Jeongguk pats his back and heads towards the door without even glancing in your direction.

No explanation.

He's just gone.

"Hey Jimin?" You call over, too drunk to care for playing it cool. "Where'd Gguk go?"

"Jiyeong," he simply says not thinking much of it - and why would he?

From the corner of the group, Yoongi pays attention to the way your shoulders drop a little bit. He's not stupid.

Knows which direction the bathroom is in.

Knows there must have been some overlap.

Knows you've been off talking with Jeongguk.

Doesn't think it would be anything more than a conversation, but think it doesn't matter. As always, Yoongi is right.

Jeongguk had sought you out. Had wanted to speak with you privately. You'd returned with a pleasant smile on your face - once of which faded almost instantly once Jiyeong's name was mentioned.

Yoongi says nothing. It's not his place to interfere - though he does text Seoyeon almost instantly to let her know that there's trouble in paradise.

She's by the bar with Nabi getting another round. Glances over immediately. Frowns when she notices Jeongguk's absence. Sighs when she sees the look on your face.

"Kids," Yoongi mutters under his breath, shaking his head, before knocking down the rest of his whisky. He actually thinks having his own kids would be less stressful than keeping an eye on you all.

You know you shouldn't, but as you finish off your drink, you start feeling petty. Vindictive .

Jeongguk's out with Jiyeong doing fuck knows what. Is fuck knows where. You shouldn't be angry, but you're a little too drunk for your own good. Can't help it.

Maybe you will fuck Jimin.

Maybe you'll fuck him, and realise that sex really is just sex - even the intimate parts of it. Maybe you'll let Jimin make you cum. Maybe you'll let him kiss you. Maybe you'll stay the night, and maybe Jeongguk will have to watch the next morning as you emerge from Jimin's room instead of his.

Maybe he'll have to watch Jimin reap the fruits of his labour, just like you know Jiyeong is reaping the fruits of yours.

But this was always the deal. Always the case.

It isn't Jeongguk's fault. Isn't Jiyeong's. Isn't yours, either.

"Hey," Jimin grins, holding out his drink for you to take a sip. You gladly oblige. "Too pretty to be this mopey. Let's dance."

"Jimin," you pout and whine, really not feeling it. It's one thing to consider fucking Jimin, but a whole different thing to actually act on it.

"Don't gimmie that face," he teases. There's a glint in his eye; mischief . You recognise it. Have seen it before. Have leant into it. Have pushed it away.

You're not sure what you'll do with it tonight.

When you take Jeongguk out of the equation, you probably wouldn't give it a second thought. You know Jimin. Have fooled around with him before. Know you'll be safe. Know it will satisfy a hunger.

And so you take his hand, and let him drag you to the dancefloor.

Just like you let his hands wander. Let his teeth become reacquainted with your neck. His lips are soft. Warm. His hands, too. And his voice, when he says "should we just cut to the chase?"

You laugh. Nod. There's no point in playing coy; not when he knows what he wants, and assumes you want it, too. He doesn't get rejected too often. In fact, the last girl who did? Was you.

He doesn't even try to kiss you. Remembers how little you seemed to be into it the last time, completely unaware of the fact you love it.

At least you won't have to deal with Jeongguk, and how whiney he is about always wanting to ki-

Nope .

Once you realise you're thinking about him, you stop.

This? Now?

This is the first test of the birds. Jeongguk helped you. For this very purpose. He shouldn't hinder you. Not now.

Just like you're sure he's not thinking about you while he's with Jiyeong, you tell yourself you can't think about him, either.

Funny, really.

Jeongguk's across town embroiled in an argument. Can't stop thinking about you, 'cause Jiyeong's insisting on hashing it out with him as to why she gets such weird vibes from the pair of you both.

Jimin also gets those vibes, but is a boy, and is stupid. Pays no attention to it.

And why would he?

Not even half an hour later, you're in his bedroom.

He's the one reclining onto his elbows, legs spread, knees hooked over the end of his bed as you shake your dress off.

You think of the birds. Know that nakedness is one of them. The last time you fucked Jimin, you'd been fully clothed.

This time, you won't be.

It makes you nervous. He can't tell. Not with the way you hold yourself as you slip out of the fabric and let it crumple on his floor.

"You hard?" you ask quietly. The lighting is dim, and it's hard to tell beneath his dark jeans. He palms at himself and smirks.

"Getting there. Wanna see?"

You nod. Watch with bated breath as Jimin undoes his trousers. Pushes them down a little. Lets his white briefs show you exactly how hard he is.

He's definitely firm, but not quite there yet. Needs more than just a half-naked girl. Seen so many of them in his lifetime that he needs something a little more interesting to really get him excited.

"Play with yourself," you tell him. The positioning - you standing in front of him, in control - has him eager.

He remembers how difficult you can be all in the name of a good fuck. Knows he's in for a treat - and so does as he's told. Pulls his cock free. Strokes it. Lets his head fall back for a few pumps, then meets your eyes again as he jerks himself off.

You smirk, now. "Cute."

"Cute?" He laughs a little in disbelief, so you just nod.

There's an air about you. An arrogance. It's the attitude he usually gives women. Quite likes it when it's given back to him.

"Cute," you nod with a sickly sweet smile, as you get to your knees. Hands on his thighs, you stroke tenderly. His grip on his cock tightens as his hips push up into his hand.

"Look at you," you continue teasing. "All needy and playing with yourself because you just can't wait to fuck me. It's really cute."

He slows down, as if he wants to defy you, but you just smirk.

"Did I say stop?"

He laughs. Shakes his head. Continues.

"You just wanna watch?" He asks, a little bemused.

"Mhmm," you hum pleasantly. There's a power trip that comes with watching a man wank over you. It's safe. His problem, not yours.

The proximity of his cock to your face does make it hard to resist. You haven't given head in so long. One of your favourite acts, you've never had issues with it, which is why it was never included in bird-related endeavours - and blessed, fortunate Jimin is gonna be the one to receive your pent-up need for a cock in your mouth.

Not yet, though. You'll let him suffer a little longer, first.

You're quite enjoying it, regardless. Jimin's hands are pretty in a way that Jeongguk's aren't; dainty and petite. Well proportioned, and perfectly kept. What he may lack in length, you know he'll make up for in skill.

Gets you thinking about your birds. Gets you thinking that you need to put them into practice.

You get to your feet and Jimin just watches. Says nothing. You're not entirely steady on your feet thanks to the alcohol, but it doesn't matter. You're not standing for long.

Straddling his lap, Jimin nods. Doesn't make a fucking noise. Not even a hum. He's too busy making sure he doesn't wank himself off too well. Would be embarrassing if he came early.

You reach for his hand. Stop him. Guide him to your underwear, instead.

He needs no instruction. Just says, "take your bra off."

And so you do. Another fear set free by Jeongguk. You're doing it. You're really fucking doing it.

The birds? They fucking work .

You find the annoyance you had with Jeongguk, and this whole new reality you're both now living in, melting away.

Perhaps it was jealousy, but not of Jiyeong; jealousy of Jeongguk, and the fact that he was actually making developments in his life thanks to the birds.

Now, you are, too.

You laugh a little. Jimin thinks you're just giggling because he's pushing your underwear to the side. Must be ticklish or something.

He's sat up straight, a hand on his cock, the other stroking over your pussy. Wetter than he expects, he knows you're game to fuck, and is pleased. Had no doubt you would be, but it's always a nice ego boost. Alcohol can fuck with things, making it a little more challenging.

Sure, Jeongguk might have gotten you wet earlier, but it's Jimin who's gotten you this far.

Jimin, Jimin, Jimin.

Jimin , who sinks a finger into you. Jimin , who reads your body as you gasp and adjust to his touch. Jimin , who latches his plump lips around your nipple as he begins to fuck his finger into you.

"Shit," you husk a little breathlessly, which earns a hum of satisfaction from Jimin. His lips are still wrapped around your nipple, sucking tenderly.

He stops only briefly to tease you. "See how much nicer it is when you just do what I tell you to do?"

You laugh, but quickly find yourself moaning again when he pushes a second finger into you. One of your hands is on his shoulder, but the other drops to his wrist and stops him from playing with himself.

"You wanna try?" He flirts. "Wanna see how hard I am for you, huh?"

You nod. "Please."

He guides your hand to his cock. Tilts his head back as you wrap your fingers around his shaft.

"Shit."

His throat looks gorgeous in this light; thick and tense as he swallows. The sensation of your hand is nothing compared to your pussy, but fuck. He likes it. Likes it so much.

"Faster."

You oblige. Wank him off so well he falters for a second or so, torso tense, finger buried in your pussy. He snaps out of it, and adjusts himself. Grips your waist. Fucks his fingers into you so fast there's absolutely zero chance of you staying quiet.

Your breathing gets deeper. So do his fingers. The sound, the feel, it's fucking euphoric - but it scares you. Scares you so much.

Just gotta keep trying.

Jeongguk's words echo in your mind. The only way to get over a fear is to confront it. You know this. You've proven it to yourself before. There's no need to be scared.

Your breathing gets heavier. Jimin mistakes it for pleasure. Doesn't realise you're panicking.

"Wait, wait," you say a little breathlessly.

"You alright?" He asks, stopping as soon as you say so, but not really thinking much of it. Assumes you were too close. Figures you wanna make it last - which would be fine by him.

You nod. Swallow back a harsh breath.

"Yeah, yeah," you say as you pull away from him, and get to the floor between his legs. Again, there's no opposition from Jimin. You're both probably a little too drunk to be making sensible choices, and in the morning, it'll be a miracle if you even remember.

For the time being, all you can focus on is making sure he doesn't know you were on the edge of a freakout. The last thing you want is to have to explain yourself - and how can you do that with a cock in your mouth?

You stroke him gently in your palm, admiring his cock. It's just as pretty as he is. Slightly curved, and a little more flushed in colour than you thought it would be. Half a dozen small, dark veins run up the underside of his shaft.

Makes you think of Jeongguk, and the single, thick vein that runs up his. Curious how different they are. Jimin is smaller than Jeongguk, granted, but you don't really mind. Will be far easier to take in your mouth.

And as you pepper kisses up his cock, you know that it's exactly what you want to do. He grunts when your tongue licks against it. Pushes his hips up. Edges his trousers off.

You follow the instructions of his body language and get them around his ankles, before adjusting your position.

Tongue flat against him, you lick a stripe up his cock, and swirl around his dark head. He curses. Lets his back fall to his mattress. Lifts his hips. Wants more.

You kitten lick around his tip, just to him get a little moany, then press wet kisses against him. Ignoring his pleas for more, you take it at your own pace. Wank him off as your tongue gets acquainted with his balls.

Jimin makes sure to let you know just how much likes that. Is so moany.

His hands tangle in your hair. He's gentle but a little rough when he needs to be. Pulls you a little further up.

"Suck it."

Teasing a little more, you smirk. Spit. The way he moans is unholy.

"Shit."

You're void of thoughts as you wrap your lips around his shaft, taking his length inside your mouth. Your tongue is wet, mouth hot, just how he likes it. He sounds like heaven, and yet you refuse to listen. Don't want anything intruding. Don't wanna hear him say your name, and get a complex over the fact Jeongguk never calls you by name.

Don't wanna think about the fact you can't say 'chess'. Don't wanna think about how soft Jeongguk is with you. Don't wanna think about him, or his eyes, or the forbidden kisses he presses against your skin.

"That's it. Yeah," Jimin sighs into rhythm you're setting. "That's it. Oh shit, yeah."

Too caught up in an internal battle of the mind, you hadn't noticed your pace increase. Depth, too. He's hitting the back of your throat. Making your eyes water. Creating the lewdest sounds - and he fucking loves it. Wet, sloppy? Ugh . For a man as pristine as Jimin is, he sure loves it filthy.

"Shit. Take my cock so well, don't you? God. Mouth is just as good as your pussy. Yeah, like that. Like that. Oh, fuck."

Jimin's body writhes on top of his sheets, face contorted from the sheer pleasure of your mouth around his cock. Doesn't give a fuck about sex. Wants his cum down your throat. His hands bunch in your hair, as his hips pick up a little momentum. The noises you're making double. Treble. So do his.

"Gonna cum," he rasps. Hisses as he leans his head into his shoulder and bites down on his own skin just to soften his moans. Doesn't help. "Gonna fuckin' cum."

He curses. Whines. Writhes. Stalls his hips, but keeps your head pressed down right to the base of his cock as he begins to shudder beneath you. His balls are tight as they release, his cock already at the back of your throat as he pours his cum down it. The spurts are short, sharp. Hot. Sordid.

And once they're done? He laughs like a fucking angel. Makes you smile. Feels like a job well done.

"Shit," he murmurs.

Eyes closed, he stays in the exact same position as his chest heaves, a small trail of evidence leaking onto his abdomen. He's breathless as he tries to speak.

"Sorry. That was... Just... gimmie a minute. Shit. You good?"

"Good," you nod, sitting back on your heels.

You know Jimin. Have been here before. You know this is where the night ends. Know that he'll be out cold within five minutes.

"C'mon," you tap his knee. "Bed. Don't wanna fall asleep like this."

He nods. "Yeah, yeah. Just... a minute."

"No," you laugh, moving his ankles to take his trousers off fully, before getting to your feet. "Get into bed, you mess."

"Already in bed," he says, still grinning from his orgasm.

"You know what I mean."

"You gonna join? I'll make it up to you in the morning."

You don't reply. Just head to the kitchen to get him some water. Glance at the door to see if Jeongguk's shoes are there, but there's no evidence of his Chuck Taylors. You purse your lips and nod. Sigh so deeply it feels like you've not taken a breath for days.

The clock on the oven reads 04:32. It doesn't take a genius to work out where he is.

He's where he should be , your mind berates you. Wouldn't be there had it not been for you.

And so when you return to Jimin's room, pleased to find him tucked up into bed now, you crawl in beside him.

Sure, you failed at one thing already tonight, but sharing a bed is something you never do. You never stay the night. You never wake up with the people you fuck about with. It's too intimate.

The prospect of Jimin actually making it up to you in the morning? It terrifies you.

Just gotta keep trying.

You can never succeed if you don't.

"Welcome," Jimin mumbles, ready to say goodbye to the world for a few hours.

He reaches out to check the distance between you both. You're a little further than he'd like, but isn't gonna pull you closer. Is too tired. He enjoys that you're still wearing just your underwear. Will make it easier in the morning for a lazy hangover fuck.

"Thanks for having me," you whisper back in good humour.

Yet when Jimin does drift off, all you can do is lie on your back and stare at the ceiling, hands flat against your stomach. There's no clock in his room, so all you hear is silence. It's maddening. The darkness consumes you. Reminds you of Jeongguk. His childhood fear. Makes you all the more aware of your own fears.

You can feel your chest begin to heave again. Jimin doesn't stir. If you just pretend like you're fine, you'll be fine. Just pretend. Just keep trying. Ignore the warmth of his body, and your eyes as tears begin to prick at them. Ignore, dismiss, forget. You don't have to let this fear get the better of you.

But the pressure is too heavy and you can feel the weight of it imploding on your chest. His duvet feels like an iron blanket, and you need to get out before it suffocates you entirely.

Slow as you do so, in a bid not to wake him, you slip out from his bed.

Jimin wouldn't have stirred either way. He's always out like a light after nights out.

The fear manifests in so many different ways, though. Feels like you're scared of everything . Of leaving, of getting caught, of having to answer for yourself.

You know, deep down, in your heart of hearts, that Jimin could not care less if you leave or stay. You know there are no consequences to this. You know this.

And still, you're silent as you tiptoe around his bed, and slip back into your dress. You don't worry about your bra - will just tuck it into your coat pocket. You know it's hooked over the arm of the sofa, so you waste no time.

Just need to get out. Need to get away. Get away from the guilt that you feel, and from the residual ache in your chest. It's been there all evening. You think if you get fresh air, get out of the apartment, that it will ease.

But as you're sneaking out of Jimin's room, feet bare, bra in hand, Jeongguk is sneaking back home.

He's quiet as a mouse, but your eyes are on the door the second he clicks it open. You say nothing. Think that maybe he'll go straight into his room without glancing into the living area - but he's fucking parched and needs water before he can even think about sleeping. Half thinks he might hop straight into the shower.

Stops dead in his tracks when he sees you. The only light in the room is coming from the hob light left on in the kitchen. Your glitter catches in it. So do your tears.

"Hey," he whispers so quietly it sort of croaks out of his throat.

There's an air of caution about him, fearful of coming too close. The look on your face... he knows it. Doesn't like it. Doesn't know what the fuck to do. Just knows that as you start to sob, he sees red.

"Hey, hey, hey," he coos as he tosses his phone and wallet on the sofa and rushes towards you. Put his palms on the sides of your arms and bows his neck to look you in the eye. His face is warped with concern as you struggle to get your breathing straight.

"What's up? Hey?" he coos again, stroking up your arms. The chiffon of your dress bunches beneath his hands, and he detests it. Feels like it's grating off a layer of his skin. Funny. He'd liked it earlier. Hates it now. Wishes your skin was bare. "B?"

You just shake your head. Can't form words. Are so disappointed in yourself. So furious that you just can't just be fucking normal. All you can do is try and sniff back your tears, but it's redundant.

"What is it?" Jeongguk looks at you with crazed eyes, dark and foreboding, desperate to see inside your mind. He's only seen you like this once - after Seokjin had fucked you over the last time - and so his mind jumps. He stands up straighter. Looks over your shoulder to the room you've just left. "Where is he? What the fuck did he do?!"

The rage that swells inside Jeongguks chest is lethal. He has to loosen his grip on you because he can't stop himself from balling his fists up.

"No, no, no!" You panic, grabbing onto him before he can lunge for Jimin's room. He almost shakes you off. Almost doesn't wanna listen. Almost lets the fury get the better of him - but then your voice shakes and he knows that he needs to pay attention to you. "Gguk, no. Please. Wasn't him. Was me ."

He doesn't understand what the fuck is going on. Is still drunk. Swallows back his rage, and looks down at you. Tilts your head up with his forefinger. Gets a read on your eyes.

You're covered in glitter, even despite your wet cheeks. You look so fucking sad, yet painfully beautiful. Jeongguk can't understand what the fuck is going on with his head.

He knows he's pissed off.

Knows that if Jimin came out of his room he'd probably smack him regardless of whatever's happened.

Knows he's drunk, so knows he'd regret it in the morning.

Knows he hates how fucking upset you look.

Knows he hates how much he wants to kiss you, still.

Knows that it's the last thing he can do. Hates that, too.

"The fuck happened, B?" He whispers, and lets his thumb wipe at your cheek. Doesn't care that he'll end up covered in glitter. "Hey?"

You just shake your head. Sob again because it's all so pathetic.

"I can't do it. I thought that I could, and I tried, and I thought it would be fine but I just-" you laugh pitifully. Shrug. Sob harder when Jeongguk pulls you into his chest for a hug.

His shirt muffles the short, sharp breaths you take for air, his strong arms tight around your shoulders.

"This shit isn't linear, B," he whispers, pressing a kiss into the crown of your head. "This shit's complicated. We're not gonna get it right every time."

He says all the right things, and it just makes it even worse. He is getting it right. He is facing his fears in a way that feels linear. Feels like he's doing okay, while you're stuck in this state of limbo.

"C'mon," he says, pulling away from you and reaching over for your coat from the sofa. Holds out his hand. Waits for you to take it. When you do, he holds it just as tightly as he had hugged you. Leads you out of the sitting area, and towards his room.

And you just go. No hesitation.

The truth of the matter is that you would follow Jeongguk into darkness - even if he was scared. You trust him. Trust that you're safe with him.

There's nothing you can say, nothing you can do that will make him run for the hills. See, Jeongguk cares in a way that doesn't feel entirely normal. Would bend over backwards for you even if it broke his back.

You'd never ask him to, but you'd never need to. He'd just simply do it.

He's never discussed it with anyone. Never explained the way he feels so inclined to keep you sparkling. Just does it as if it's his life's quest. Thinks that maybe he was an astronomer in a past life or something.

But he's drunk, and these thoughts are all frivolous. He won't remember any of them in the morning.

As you enter the room, you immediately notice a bird on his bed. Jeongguk drops your hand. Picks it up. Doesn't look at it, not even to assess who it belongs to. Just tosses it to a small pile on his desk.

There are three of them, now. All unchecked, because he's supposed to be being 'good'.

He took things too far in the bathroom of the club earlier. Was too flirty. Felt guilty. It's why he left so abruptly - but was met with an argument almost as soon as he made it to the club Jiyeong was in. Had to defend your friendship, and felt like a piece of shit doing so.

Felt shitty for the way he'd been with you; felt shitty for both of the girls he wronged in the process; felt shitty for the attack on his character.

Yeah, he knew he fucked up - but Jiyeong didn't know that. After a few drinks, she decided that she wanted to fight and apparently he was the easiest target. Lucky for her, she found his weak spot pretty early on: you .

Jeongguk doesn't say anything. Doesn't know what to say. Pulls a shirt from the clothes rail, and tosses it on his bed.

"Here. Get changed. I'm just gonna grab some water. Want some?"

You shake your head. Tell him it's fine.

He brings a pint glass regardless. Knows you'll need some.

You're stood by his window, watching the early morning traffic make its way through town. It's still dark outside, and it's quiet, so there's not much to look at - but in all honesty, you're trying to avoid looking at Jeongguk. Don't wanna leave, but know you really shouldn't stay, either.

Lungs still stuttering a little in your chest, you dab at your cheeks with the back of your hand. Feel quite embarrassed about it all.

His shirt fits you like a dress, and your actual dress is folded over his desk chair. You've stolen the hairband of yours that had been left on his bedside table a few weeks ago and have put your hair up into a bun. Loose strands wisp around your neck, and it just reminds him of the bathroom, and how close he was to just fucking everything up.

"Hey," he says softly, and waits for you to turn and face him before he continues.

Your mascara is all smudged, and your cheeks are rosy, but the small smile you present him is sweet. Fake as fuck, and he knows it, but he appreciates you're trying not to look sad. Still doesn't know what went wrong, but he's not gonna force it out of you.

"Bathroom. Teeth, then bed. Okay?"

You nod.

Assume he means alone, but say nothing as he follows you to the bathroom. Rummages in the cupboard for the packet of spare toothbrushes, and is silent as he passes you the toothpaste.

It's curious how at ease you both seem to be as you brush your teeth together, avoiding eye contact in the mirror ahead of you.

He finishes first, but it's only because you get in this weird competition mode whenever you brush your teeth around other people. Never wanna be the first to wash it all away.

Jeongguk doesn't care. He's drunk, and he wants to fuckin' sleep. Still, he waits for you by the door of the bathroom. Turns the light off, and rests his hand on the small of your back as he guides you through the apartment.

You set about throwing a couple of pillows off his bed and onto the floor - but he just follows their trajectory and picks them up. Tosses them back on his bed.

"Not yet. In," he nods to his bed. "You're gonna talk to me first. Then you can make your little nest, okay? Gotta talk first."

You don't understand why. Figure you can talk from your blanket haven on his floor - but he wants quiet. Doesn't wanna have strain his fuckin' ears trying to hear you. God, his mood is foul .

And yet he's so gentle. So soft in how he directs you. Calm, and comforting in the way he gets into his bed beside you. Doesn't give a shit about what you may or may not have done across the hallway in Jimin's room as he pulls you in for a hug. Couldn't care less.

All he cares about is the fact that you were in fucking tears when he arrived home. His pride? Nothing compared to how protective he feels over you.

"There's nothing really to talk about," you say before he can get any questions in. His nose nestles into your hair. You tighten your grip around his slim waist. He's warm to the touch, and it soothes the chill notion of failure that resides in your heart.

"I find that hard to believe."

"Just had too much to drink," you deflect. It's not entirely a lie. Not entirely the truth either, but that's neither here nor there.

"I've seen you drunk more times than I can remember," he whispers. "You're not a crier. Not really."

Not like Jiyeong is. God. So many tears. So many tears over fucking nothing.

Perhaps it's shitty of him to think so. Perhaps it's shitty of him to view your tears as more worthy than hers.

"Was the rum," you whisper with a little humour. "Never normally drink rum."

"Bullshit, Byeol," he says. Hugs you even tighter. "What are we gonna do with you, huh?"

You shrug. Laugh. Hold back a sob.

"Hey," he coos. "C'mon. You don't need to cry. It's okay."

"I don't even know why I am," you half laugh but it's cut off but your throat choking on yet another sob. It's fucking mortifying by this point.

"I just," you sniff. "Just don't think I'm ready, yet. No one's fault."

Jeongguk says nothing. Holds his tongue. The anger he felt earlier returns, but it's directed at no one but himself. He's the one who told you to hook up with Jimin. He's the one who said you'd be fine. It's his fault.

If you knew he thought this, you'd be just as annoyed as he is.

You're a big girl. You make your own decisions. You make your own mistakes.

"I shouldn't have pushed you," he whispers. You can hear the thud, thud, thud of his heart in his chest. It's soft. The scent of his aftershave acts like a sleep remedy. May as well be lavender. Has you forgetting your woes.

"You were trying to be a good friend," you shake your head against his chest. The movement lets his nose nestle even further into your hair.

"I should have stayed."

Again, you protest. "You've got a life to live, Koo. Can't always be checking up on me."

You pause. Think he's about to respond, so get a final word in. "You should have said goodbye, though. That was rude."

"I know it was," he admits. It had been deliberate. Hates that he left, now. Maybe if he had stayed, you wouldn't have ended your night in tears. "I'm sorry."

"Please don't say sorry," you mumble quietly.

"But I am."

"But you needn't be."

"Doesn't matter. Still am."

"Gguk," you sigh, and push yourself against his chest so you can look at him. He just shakes his head. Pulls you back in.

"It's late, B," he murmurs drowzily. Really does not have the energy to bicker with you. The sun's gonna rise soon. "Let's forget it, okay? Talk about it in the morning."

And so you just nod. Tell him okay. Indulge in the feeling of safety that Jeongguk offers you in the refuge of his arms for a little while longer. Just for a second or so.

Somewhere between the crying and the comfort found in your friend, your brain gets things a little muddled. Tells you that it'll be okay if you close your eyes for a moment. Not for long. Just long enough to feel better.

Thing is, you've both had too much to drink. Are both tired. Are both perfectly content as your legs curl up, and your feet rest against his thighs. Pay it no mind when his legs part for yours to tangle with his.

In fact, you both pretend to be asleep so that you don't have to address the fact that Jeongguk's got a fucking semi again. Just can't bloody help himself.

Except it only takes just a matter of minutes for make-believe to turn into reality.

Jeongguk sleeps.

So do you.

It's easy. Not a single tear. Your heart rate is perfectly normal. In fact, it stays at a calm level through the night, as if you've been lulled into sleep by you're very own metronome.

In a way, you have been - it's just the beating of Jeongguk's heart, and the warmth of his body that have you pacified.

On his desk lies a slipshod bird with your handwriting scrawled inside it. As the sun rises, it watches on. Is pleased. The words inscribed in its wings are rendered useless, for you're already doing it.

You're sharing a bed. Sure maybe it's not as conventional or straight forward as it should be, but since when have any of the birds been entirely normal?

It's apt. Just right. As it should be.

You wake first.

Stare at the birds.

Try not to think too hard about, well, anything from the night before.

When Jeongguk wakes, he does the exact same thing. Is pleased you haven't left.

You can do it.

No words are spoken. No small talk exchanged. No admittance of failure from either of you. No cheer of success. Just the heavy silence of confusion.

He'll chalk it up to the comedown of an adrenaline rush. Had spent a good couple of hours fighting with a girl who he barely fucking knows, trying to reassure her that you're nothing to worry about.

As he realises he's holding your hand beneath the duvet, he becomes aware that maybe he'd been lying the entire time.

Not intentionally. God, it's all so fucked.

Jeongguk doesn't want to be a liar.

But he also doesn't want to stop holding your hand.

"I should go," you tell him, and he knows you're right. Knows if Jimin has woken up to find no trace of you, but your shoes by the sofa, you're both fucked. Have no idea how he'd explain it away.

His chest tightens. Face contorts. Thinking about Jimin makes him feel hot beneath his skin. Irate.

This is not fucking normal.

"Let me check the coast is clear, first," he says, slipping out of the duvet and into the cold, harsh reality of day.

Jeongguk's always enjoyed how much a cocoon his room becomes with you in it; a sanctuary, in a way. Somewhere to seek refuge.

Feels claustrophobic, now. You both have a vague awareness of how uncomfortable it's become.

"Out like a light," Jeongguk says as he returns. You're back in your party dress, his shirt hung up again on his clothing rail. "I can call a cab-"

"No," you shake your head. "It's cool. I need to be off."

The goodbye is awkward. Neither of you know what the fuck to do. You take the stairs, because the elevator will make you feel queasy, and order your own taxi instead. Just wanna be out of Jeongguk's hair. Out of their apartment block.

"The fuck are you doing?" Jeongguk hisses at himself in the mirror. Rubs his hand over his face, and pushes it back into his hair. Shakes his head. Softly taps the wall with a closed fist. "This is not who you fuckin' are. Shit ."

All he knows is that you're gone, and he hates it even more than he hates knowing he wrecked everything the night before.

Jiyeong's fucking mental after a few drinks, he thinks, which doesn't bode well for the future of their relationship. He knows it dead in the water. Was fucked the second she started saying shit about you that he was never gonna let fly. Was doubly fucked when he arrived home and found you in a sorry fuckin' state, and decided that you meant more to him than she did.

Of course you do, though. You're friends .

Friends who fall asleep with their legs tangled together, and wake up holding hands.

He's had a friend like that before.

Ended in tears, granted, but he still considers her his best friend.

Know he can't let it happen again .

Yet he finds himself pulling a pair of shoes over his heels and ignoring a sleepy Jimin wandering into the sitting room, as he charges out of the apartment door. Presses the elevator button, but doesn't wanna wait for it.

It's on the ground floor, according the the small screen above it. He assumes you've just reached it. So, instead, he hurtles down the stairs. Runs so fucking fast he's practically flying and is in the lobby within a matter of minutes.

Just in time to watch you get in a taxi, and head back home.

"Fuck," he shouts, now as the cab disappears around the corner. Lets his head hang back, crown resting between his shoulder blades.

" Fuck."

He regains his posture, and kicks out at the decorative pillar, before crouching to floor. What a sorry state he's in. Doesn't even know why. Didn't have a plan for what he'd say if he caught up with you. Has no idea why he was so hellbent on keeping you close.

"Fuck!"

The elevator dings. Jeongguk stands. Looks over towards it. There's no one in there - but there is a box of recycling that he recognises from his apartment, that Jimin must have put there in the hopes that Jeongguk would take it to the trash pile by the entryway.

He sighs. Shakes his head. Grabs the recycling, and puts it in the designated area - then sulks all the way up to his floor.

When he returns, Jimin's eating a bowl of dry cornflakes. "The fuck was that about?"

Jeongguk says nothing. Slams his bedroom door shut. Faceplants his bed. Smells your perfume. Yells into his duvet.

This is not good.

In fact, this is very very bad.

Catastrophic, some would say.

It's the product of his own bad decisions, and that's what pisses him off the most.

What pisses him off even more?

The teeny tiny origami bird that decides now is the perfect time to fall. It lands on his head and bounces down to curve of his spine. Resides there happily. Really fuckin' pisses Jeongguk off.

"Oh, get fucked," he whines into his sheets. Reaches around for it. Opens it up. Reads it. Scowls. ' Admit your feelings'. He screws it up. Chucks it across his bedroom floor. Feels bad immediately. It's one of his, which lessens the guilt, but doesn't alleviate it entirely.

"So," Jimin comes to stand by Jeongguk's door as he crunches down on his cornflakes. "The fuck is going on with you?"

"Nothing," Jeongguk huffs into his duvet.

"Alright," Jimin smirks.

He's known Jeongguk long enough to know behaviours like this are never normal. He's composed to a fault at all times, even when he's annoyed.

This? Yeah, this is giving Hayun-induced-meltdown-era energy.

There's one significant change, though. One that Jimin finds all rather amusing.

"Let me rephrase," he taunts his friend. Fucking idiot. It's so obvious, now. Jimin's amazed he didn't realise sooner. "What's Disco Ball's bra doing over the back of your chair?"

Jeongguk's blood runs cold.

"Fuck."

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cookeybg · 6 months ago

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Unexpected Cohabitation a JonDami fic

Title: Unexpected Cohabitation

Main Characters: Jonathan Kent and Damian Wayne (some of the others show up too, the list is too long)

Eventual relationship: Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne (my fave)

Stuff to know: No capes, reverse robins, high school AU, no smut, no Brucie Wayne, I know nothing about sports but it will show up, (aaand I think that's it, will add more if it comes up)

Word Count: 1,370

[Here's my table of contents]

Part 2 - Chapter 9

Jon was tired. The shower had helped his sore muscles, but he hadn’t worked out that much since before he had broken his leg and his body had not been ready for the sudden farm work. He stared at himself in the mirror, he looked tired, then he stared at his phone, the time was eight thirty in the morning. He sighed to himself, he had been up since six. SIX! In the morning! Damian had claimed that he usually slept in on the weekends and six was a good time to be up. He had told him this while the green eyed tyrant watched Jon shovel the muck from the stalls. All the while petting Titus and relaxing on clean hay. Afterward, he had joined Damian in his morning run. He had only joined in running because he had been too embarrassed to admit that he didn’t actually have a morning routine. Damian’s work ethic was insane and Jon wasn’t sure if he wasn’t a robot. There was a knock on the door that lead to Conner’s room. Jon unlocked it and open it to see his brother’s sleepy face and bed hair. “Why are you awake so early?” Conner mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Don’t ask.” Jon grumbled, turning away to walk into his own room, he closed the bathroom door on his way out. He looked at his bed longingly, sighed, and changed into a pair of light blue jeans and a t-shirt. Yawning, he debated on styling his hair. He thought back to how Damian never looked messy and decided to at least brush it. He rubbed his stomach, grimacing, it wouldn’t stop growling. All he had eaten was a protein bar Damian had given him after their run. It had tasted awful but Damian had told him that if he didn’t eat it his muscles would deteriorate. Leaving the room Jon bumped into Jason who told him that breakfast was ready and waiting. Jason proceeded to knock on Conner’s door, but Jon did not wait for their interaction. He was starving and needed sustenance. Walking into the kitchen was like walking into heaven. If heaven smelled like bacon and pancakes which Jon was fairly sure it did.

“Good morning Mister Kent.” Alfred greeted. “You may serve yourself whatever you see fit.” Alfred pointed towards a counter top near the breakfast nook filled with silver buffet serving dishes. Jon rushed towards the serving trays and lifted the lids, one by one. His mouth watered. There were scrambled eggs, bacon and sausages, blue berry pancakes, diced fruit and there was even a pitcher of fresh squeezed orange juice. It felt like he was staying at a fancy hotel. Jon served himself everything, happily balancing the pile of food while he picked a seat. He had been so entranced by the food he had failed to notice his parents and Cass already sitting at the table eating. “Good morning sweetheart.” Lois said smiling. “Ah, sorry,” Jon blushed, “Good morning, mom, dad, Cass.” “Morning, son.” Clark laughed. Cass smiled, bringing her hand towards her chin and pushed it outwards, she then lifted her left arm horizontally in front of her connecting it to her right arm, her right palm and arm lifting towards herself. Jon wasn’t completely sure what that meant but he assumed she said good morning back. He smiled to her and nodded. Jason and Conner walked in not too long after. Conner greeted everyone enthusiastically and also piled on the food. Jason challenged him to an eating contest which Alfred put to a stop before it could start on account that they would get a stomach ache. “Bullshit!” Jason yelled, patting his stomach. “I have an iron stomach!” “Language, my boy.” Alfred admonished. “Sorry.” Jason said shamefully. Lois burst out laughing and their conversation changed to what their day was going to be like. Jon sat listening to them, enjoying the company and eating the mixed fruit. “Hurry, Tim!” Dick burst in running towards the back door. “We’re gonna miss it!” “Hold on! It’s hard running with all this stuff!” Tim was holding what looked like long sticks, he paused at the table to greet everyone and turned to Jason and Cass. “Are you guys coming too? I’ve got your stuff.” Cass nodded and started walking towards the back door. Jason shrugged, shoved the last bit of bacon into his mouth and yelled a thank you to Alfred as he ran off to follow Cass. “What’s going on?” Conner asked standing up from his seat and placing his hands on the table. Tim was already following his siblings out when he yelled that it would be easier if they just followed instead of explaining. Conner and Jon looked at each other and ran off to join the Wayne kids. “Have fun!” Clark called after them.

Once outside they followed the Wayne’s to a small clearing near the kitchen garden. Damian had changed from the sweats and sweater he had worn in the morning and was now wear a tight black workout shirt and black joggers. Talia was wearing a white sports bra and black tights. She stood in front of Damian watching him like a hawk, legs apart, arms loose to her side, her right holding a wooden sword. Damian moved his body fluidly and elegantly, his expression serious and his sword swings strong. “Again.” Talia commanded, walking around him to observe him better. Damian stopped and restarted a series of movements that Jon had no idea what they were called. He watched in awe as Damian’s lean arm muscles bulged and sweat beaded his forehead. “Pretty cool, huh?” Jason smirked on his right. He poked the grass floor with the tip of his wooden sword. Cassandra nodded in agreement twirling her sword in one hand. “Cool!” Dick said, eyes wide and practically vibrating in place while hugging his much smaller wooden sword. “Don’t let him hear you, he’ll get annoying.” Tim said. Instead of holding a wooden sword he held a really long stick. “What is he doing?” Conner asked. Jon could practically see stars in his eyes. “Mom-“ Jason coughed into his hand and blushed. “Talia, has been training Damian since he was able to walk. It’s a family tradition of the Al Ghul’s.” Jason pointed at himself with his thumb. “She saw we had potential so she trains us too, with Damian’s help.” He then pointed at Cass. “She’s also been learning for a long time but she prefers to train with us, though she sometimes spars with Damian.” “Wow.” Conner whispered, his eyes sparkling. Jon had caught himself before he could say the same sentiment out loud. He hated to admit how freaking cool it was that this family was learning martial arts. Especially one that was apparently passed down in an ancient family line. It felt otherworldly. “Good.” Talia smiled. “At ease.” Damian relaxed his posture his chest subtly going up and down. He was obviously tired but he was controlling his breathing. His expression stoic. “Now, the young ones wish to train.” Talia turned to look at the rest of them and tilted her head indicating for them to join. The ones holding wooden weapons rushed forward and took up positions on the grass, a well established practice. Damian walked up to a bench to wipe sweat off and drink some water. He then walked back to the group to take up the same position as his mother. “That looks like fun.” Conner said. “It doesn’t seem like such a big deal.” Jon scoffed “They are learning to be ninjas, how is that not cool?” “All I need to do is swing a bat and I can knock someone out. I don’t need to learn some fancy pants ninja technique.” Jon shot back petulantly. Damian looked away from the group and his eyes met Jon’s, a smirk played on his lips. Jon crossed his arms over his chest pivoting from one foot to the other. While Conner sat on the grass to watch the others Jon turned around, heat creeping up his neck. “I’m going to go take a nap.” Jon announced, the sun felt too hot to be sitting outside.

#damian wayne #damian al ghul #jon kent #jonathan kent #jonathan samuel kent #damian and jon #jondami #damijon #supersons #super sons #dick grayson #jason todd #conner kent #timothy drake #cassandra cain #no capes au #high school au #fanfic #fanfiction

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blueberrykenn · 11 months ago

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Kennie's Top 10 Yearly Fic Recommendations

Okay so this is the 2nd year of me doing this (but this year I wont delete) butttt I show my top 10 fic and authors for each member/group( some members of bts repeat due to the amount of poly fics I read and its what I mainly read) (A handful of these have smut so heres your warning)

(I would also love to be your guys friends as every single one of you seems absolutely amazing)

LETS GET STARTED

10. @guqwrvte Make it Three (Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung)

Oh where do I start with this fic I found it in the spring looking for a Soulmate fic and oh boy I was in for a ride THREE SOULMATES?! ummm YES and the arcade chapter was ABSOULELY AMAZING! I hope you're doing well Author!! as this fic hasn't been updated in a while

9. @yonkimint Without You (Yoongi with a side of Hoseok or "Jay")

OHHHH BOY When I wanted a love triangle I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED I found this fic in April looking for angst and ANGST I GOT without spoiling it its a Pregnancy/ Single Mom AU and one of the best ones Ive read in a longgggg time

8. @guksthighs Bloom (Yoongi)

OH BOY This is a recent one actually. This one shot was made SIX YEARS AGO?! OMG Hanahaki AUs are one of my favorites angst type of fics so when I read this I literally sobbed like a baby I cant say much else without spoiling it

7. @kimnjss cyberslut (Yoongi), less of you/VINTAGE (Jimin), Strawberry Kisses(Jungkook)

MISS HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY FAVES SINCE 2019 like when I first read beside you YESS I reread Cyberslut and HAD to include it but reading less of you in June as I was dealing with my own breakup it was a tear jerker towards the end of less of you, for me I wont spoil it but there a plot twist that I was not expecting towards the end of the sequel, Vintage. BUT STRAWBERRY KISSES OH MY GAHD I read that on my way home in August even though its a SMUTTY I enjoyed it a lot and the FLUFF I think some people looked at me crazy when I took the bus home that day

6. @skazoo if you tell me about yourself( Stray Kids' Felix)

Okay here me out! Demon Slayer. Its one of my favorite manga and anime series and with CHANBIN as a hashira UMMM YES ynand chanbin are literally Genya and Sanemi if Genya was a girl and not YK (demon slayer spoiler!!) eating demons, but this 2 parter was ABSOULTELY AMAZING

5. @ugh-yoongi a word from our sponsors (Namjoon)

How do you get a idoit podcasters to not realize they have feelings but read smut YOU GET THESE TWO MFERS This one shot was sooooooo good!! like I read a lot of smut but this? TOP TEIR OF ONESHOTS OF 2023

4. @sopebubbles Bulletproof Heart (2Seok)

THIS ROLLERCOASTER If I had to describe my childhood in fanfictions this one would be one (check #1 for the other) I wont say why because spoilers but this angst was OMG THE YOONGI HATE WAS UNREAL NOT MY YOONGLES but I loved it soooooooo much

3.@jihoonotes Yearning(SVT's Woozi)

Lee Jihoon is literally my ult bias. Do I need to say more? ITS WORTH THE READ

2. @solemnreads Way Back Home(Jungkook)

THIS FIC HAD ME FUCKING EVERYWHERE with the twins to CEO Kook THE JEALOUSLY I LOVE IT by far the best exes to lovers fic I read this year

before I tell yall #1 I wanna give an honorable mention to @purpleyoonn they would be on the main list if I was done reading you complete us BUTTTT RED STRING is amazing even though there only 2 parts so far

Okay Okay this should be expected if you been here for a bit

1.@theharrowing Literally anything they write but mainly Rose Tinted Obsessions and Collateral

Boy Blue and Collateral Taehyungs literally Remained me of In between Taehyung so much that I got inspired to write in between again everything I read from them is Absolutely Amazing, Top Tier just Yes DARK FICS are literally my go to so reading them had me sooooo happy and wanting more

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miraakulous-cloud-district · 7 months ago

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Tag game that took me way too long to do

Hi, hello, I'm still here. Life and side-tracking happened a lot and, lately, my only online presence was some reblogs. Nonetheless!! It made me really happy to see that I've been tagged in this wonderful tag game by @inkoherentwriting and @dirty-bosmer and @blossom-adventures Thank you so much and sorry it took me this long to actually do it!

How many works do you have on AO3? Just 6 so far!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 100,271 (oh!! I didn't realize I hit the 100k word count before doing this!)

3. What fandoms do you write for? The Elder Scrolls and Dragon Age so far, but I would love to expand that list, and I have my eye on a few fandoms (looking directly at One Piece)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? I only have six fics, and I don't really like looking at the statistics because it makes me terribly sad and unmotivated.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes!!! Comments are everything to me. It may take some time to respond, but just know that I read the comments as soon as I get the email notification and I reread whenever I feel self conscious about my fics (which is *very* often lmao)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? My longfics are not finished yet, but if you read chapter 15 of WYGTYA, then you'll know which one will have the angstiest ending Spoilers: it's Hymn of the Highs Seas, it's prequel. Author's note: WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO, I AM SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO THE PIRATES. But I *will* find a way to make it as satisfying an ending as possible, and it will most definitely have a fluffy/bittersweet epilogue. HOTHS will not be sad, I promise!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? After all the shit I'll put Ravonna through, she deserves it the most, so WYGTYA, probably! Also, my Ralof/Hadvar fic has a really happy ending, if ya know what I mean :)))))

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not yet. I have this wonderful small community of dear readers and they're the most awesome people in the world <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Smut is not really my thing, so no. The most I'll do is imply.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I haven't, but I'll never say never!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of, and I doubt anyone would want to steal my writing out of anyone's

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic? No, but I think it would be a very nice experience! I've spoken to a few beloved mutuals about crossovers in which Ravonna meets their ldbs, and I have an idea in mind where I could write a few chapters, each of them exploring Ravonna accidentally teleporting into their ldb's world, but it's still just an idea at the moment :)

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? That I've written? I don't know if I can choose because I love them all, but Rumcurio and Ralof/Hadvar are incredibly underrated ships in the TES fandom and I wish they had more content! Fave ship of all time? Well, right now I am watching Jujutsu Kaisen and I am, of course, having satosugu brainrot. They could have had everything :(((( So beautifully tragic, this one. The fix-it fanfics are amazing, too! But if I had to pick just one ship to be my favourite, I think I'll go with the ineffable husbands because 6000 years of pining is just exquisite <3 <3

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? A very sad and romantic reincarnation AU of WYGTYA where we get to see many versions of Ravonna through the ages! I say romantic, but knowing myself, it won't be super sappy. It's Ravonna that we're talking about here :))

16. What are your writing strengths? I would say that dialogue, and banter in particular. That's what flows the easiest to me, and I think that is how I'm able to express a character's traits and personality the best

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I believe there's room for improvement in all areas, but what I struggle with the most is angst, probably. I need to practice focusing on describing the character's feelings more. Also, politics. Crucial to the plot, but my mind never cooperates when I want to write politics.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue on another language in a fic? If it's a few words, it's fine, I think it adds flavour to the chapter, but translations should be provided. However, I would avoid writing entire paragraphs in another language, that's just confusing to readers.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Skyrim! I wrote for the Tes Summer Fest event in 2022!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? I love them all very dearly, but hear me out!!! WYGTYA is my first baby, my longest fic and the thing that led me to start such beautiful friendships online. It will always have a special place in my heart! In my soul, there's a jewellery box dedicated to just WYGTYA, and it's all heart shaped and made out of love. Ravonna is by far my most developed oc, so much so that she feels like a real person sometimes when I think of her. She's even become a source of inspiration for me at times and her story with her fellowship will never fail to put a smile on my face. She's also such a big impact on my writing that I think she will become a blueprint for future stories that I write. Every story will have a Ravonna-type character, for sure. That's how much love I have for her! But I started writing WYGTYA as a beginner, and I sense that I will go back to some of the earlier chapters and re-edit some stuff. Right now, the fic that I'm most satisfied of is HOTHS. It's still at 2 chapters (soon to be three), but I'm so excited about this project, and the characters are all ocs, and my heart is so full of love for them that it overflows! It's also a pirate story, and I always have such a weak spot for pirates. It also follows the storyline and plot twist that I'm most proud of in WYGTYA, all about Ravonna's lineage. Damn, I guess I have Ravonna to thank for this, too. I'm just really happy with this twist and canon divergence in Deathbrand's character. I feel like he has so much potential in the TES Universe, and I'm about to explore all that and more in this fic!

Oh wow, that last bit got so very rambly, I'm so sorry! I don't know who has done this or not, but I'll tag @bougainvillea-and-saltwater @kiir-do-faal-rahhe @bostoniangirl21 @sheirukitriesfandom @illumiera

#tag game

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volantium · 11 days ago

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fic writer interview tysm soph @its-all-papaya for the tag I love to yap about my fics

how many works do you have on AO3? 29

What's your total AO3 word count? 221,087

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

harley keener and the terrible, no good, reluctantly chaotic field trip to stark industries (mcu; 3,579)

the words of the prophet are written on the subway walls (good omens; 1,819)

sweet dreams, tennessee (mcu; 1,728)

a question of faith (stranger things; 1,424)

true north (assassin's creed; 892)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I reply to most, there's not necessarily rhyme or reason when I don't. Comments are always my fave because I love hearing about how people read and interpret my stuff and I'll always say thank you to people who comment.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? I am a sucker for a happy ending but worth all my time is probably the angsitest thing I've posted so far.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? see above, consequently most of my fics are happy endings. I would have to re-read my fics to get a sense of the happiest ending overall but it's probably the first prize bravery verse I think because that literally ends in a marriage.

Do you write crossovers? love me a good crossover but I've never written one in the traditional sense. I've written fusions where the setting from one fandom is used with the characters from another though, which you can find in art of the game.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? I wouldn't say hate but I have gotten some weird comments before over the fact I write in not American English ?

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes and it's usually the porn with feelings kind

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I'm aware of

Have you ever had a fic translated? there's an in progress translation of a question of faith into Chinese which I'm absolutely delighted to see was recently updated

Have you ever co-written a fic before? technically no but me and @sheps-shepherd edit each others stuff enough that I'm counting it

What's your all-time favorite ship? mckirk babey. love my silly little starfleet officers

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? oh literally everything I've ever started but in particular unto the edge of doom which is a corrupted!link/galink retelling of tears of the kingdom. and then there's two for the show which is a fake dating griddlehark, princess diaries-esque situation. I'm on holidays in a few weeks so hopefully I can write some. oh and also the landoscar driver!oscar, photographer!lando fake dating fic I posted a snippet of the other day called leading lines....I'm sensing a theme here.

What are your writing strengths? I have it on good authority that it's my prose and syntax. I write social science for my day job so my ability to cohesively and clearly explain research and data is another strength. I'm constantly working on both my fiction and non-fiction skills.

What are your writing weaknesses? bleugheeehhh sometimes I feel like I get too bogged down in the details. I also think I struggle with making each character distinct from the plot sometimes.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? it's fine I've probably done it. just add the translation in somewhere in the text or notes I guess.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? it was definitely a harry potter fic that I still have on my hardrive and has never seen the light of day and likely never will at this point. that was probably like. over ten years ago 🧍

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? there's a bunch I have unfinished wips for that I would love to finish and post... the zelda fic being probably the most among them. I've never written for Destiny but exploring my oc/guardian would be fascinating.

What's your favorite fic you've written? for a very long time it was art of the game but it's been usurped by six degrees of motion. she's the perfect fic to me. I don't think I'll ever write anything again the way I wrote six degrees.

ty again for the tag 🫶 obligatory love of my life tag for @sheps-shepherd and no pressure @landoscaring 🖤

#perfect excuse to procrastinate washing my hair lol #tagged

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incalculablepower · 2 years ago

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I feel truly spoiled by the amount of fantastic fics I've been reading and bookmarking this month! I've picked out a few faves in this post -- not an exhaustive list at ALL!

Some of these were only uploaded in the past few weeks, some of them are several years old. If you read and like any of these, be sure to show some love to the authors in the form of kudos and comments.

Seven Words for Snow by Delphi

Sometimes when I read fiction set in the places I've lived, there's an familiar feeiling i get that reminds me of fanfic. There's something comforting about experiencing a place you know well rendered in fiction. Getting a double dose of that through Delphi's writing is a real treat in this fic as the main character (Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank!) takes the train from Union Station along the shores of Lake Ontario -- a journey I've taken myself many many times.

In one direction lay the arctic, where she meant to summer if her funds would take her that far. In another direction lay the hospitable coal port where her first ship had docked, and opposite it lay the expansive wheat fields of the prairies, and the great mountains, and the cedar rainforests of the furthest coast. And somewhere, she supposed, was the way back to Ohsweken, where perhaps the milder edges of the very same storm were blowing.

I also recommend The Wolf Covers Its Tracks (All Us Human Extras Remix) (Werewolves in Banff! a Tragically Hip reference in the title! a deeply relatable explanation of the call of the void one experiences at Niagara Falls) and A Dream of Winter, which takes the odd line in DH about Kendra looking Native American and gives her a full backstory as a Mohawk woman from Six Nations.

Orchards by @whinlatter

How completely exciting it is to see a fic come up on @ao3feed-romione, and it's over 10k words, and it's canon-compliant, missing moment Harry/Ginny, and it's the author's first fic, and it's my BIRTHDAY? I wish I could experience reading this fic for the first time again. Something I really love about this moment in time in HP fanfiction is that there are so many authors (and I'll include myself in here, why not) who have such a deep connection with these stories. We read them at an exciting and formative time and they've stuck with us. And now, we're all grown up with grown-up writing chops and life experience and all the things that make us better at telling stories, PLUS years of thinking about these characters? It results in some of the most comforting and affirming fanfiction you can get. The nostalgic summertime vibes in this fic are immaculate, packed with some truly knockout poetic lines, and jokes I really laughed out loud at. After reading, I recommend the author's response to an ask which serves as a meta on Ginny's t-shirts in this fic.

Green Light by iota_after_dark

It's Ginny/Hermione smut! And it's sweetly sad, sensitive and hopeful. Hermione's status as the fandom broomstick (everyone gets a ride!) means Ron needs to be out of the picture and it normally follows the same formula: Ron is boring/stupid/mean/whatever; she ditches him; [insert character] steps in to show her a good time. In this fic, however, it's not Hermione's decision, and she's given the space to be a little mopey and sad in a way I find really refreshing! Also major points for my new favourite tag "Hermione wears a going out top (it's 2001!)". I've recced it before on my tumblr, but be sure to check out Essential Lessons from this author as well, a Romione fic that balances goofiness and sweetness so well.

Vetus Amicus by @floreatcastellumposts

What a beautiful parting gift to the fandom from Flo. I cried several times reading this.

alone now by Kyra

A short ficlet about Hermione's mother in Australia and memory, very powerful.

Love by @indigo-scarf

I loved this exploration of Blaise and his relationship with his mother. PS be sure to check out everything in the @harrypocter Winter Sun drabble collection -- if I recced everything I would be here all day, everything in that collection is worth your time.

the good sleep better by honey_wheeler

This is an old one, and I was sure I've read every immediately-post-battle fic there is but somehow this one slipped by me. I'm comfortable calling this one of the best, it has such a great balance of delirious humour and depth that such a moment deserves.

a louisville slugger to both headlights by @pebblysand

Okay so up there ⬆️ I had mentioned that reading a fic felt like a gift specifically for me, but then last week I got an email from Ao3 that there was a gift waiting for me and it was this fic! Jo took my stupid semi-viral post about Harry's wife Sheila and RAN with it, constructing a whole new OC and a really convincing and heartwarming world where Harry and Ginny are divorced. And Harry has married a woman named Sheila. Who he met at work. All of the meta references here tickled me so much... if you want more of my thoughts there is a massive comment I spent 40 minutes (I timed myself) writing. This is so so special to me.

The Last Enemy: The Howling Nights by @chdarling, podfic by ShootWithIntentToKill

This WIP podfic is a perfect way to reread TLE during the TLE2 hiatus. Every chapter is around 10-30 minutes long, which makes it slot perfectly into a my weekly cleaning/chores podcast rotation. Slowing down to listen to the podfic means I'm catching sooo much foreshadowing and references this time around and I love the voices the narrator has chosen for the characters, Lily and Sirius are my favourites. I love having this pod keep me company.

I hope to do this for each month going forward - I doubt other months will be this intense (I didn't read a single book this month lol) but there are always a few new and old faves I discover or revisit each month. Once again, leave a comment or kudos on these fics if you liked them!

#monthly fic recs #fic recs #jily #hinny #romione #ginmione #blaise zabini #harry potter #hermione granger #ginny weasley #ron weasley #hp fanfic

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wesperbrekkered · 1 year ago

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Thanks for the tag @sixofsol ! I've missed these kinda tag games, they're so fun to do!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

20 so far! (I published my first fic in Jan of this year oml)

2. What is your AO3 word count?

172,381! My goal is to get 200k written by new years day but October was a terrible month for writing so I'm 10k words behind schedule :(

3. What fandoms do you write for?

So far only six of crows. One day I want to branch out into rwrb or lokius but for now the wesper brainrot is way too strong

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Of Merchlings and Letters Home with 963

Of Lies and Rash Decisions with 839

I Wish You Meant It with 787

You got me wrapped around your finger (not that I'm complaining) with 600

Jesper Fahey Couldn't Sleep with 537

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love responding to comments as they make my smile sm. Sometimes I'm too overwhelmed (in a good way) or busy to answer immediately but I do try my best!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Heh it definitely has to be Just You and Me Merchling. I had so much fun writing that one, hurt no comfort is my beloved.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhm, depends on how you want to look at it. Fic with the fluffiest ending? Probably Summer Days Drifting Away or Out Of The Blue. Fic where they finally found happiness after everything they'd been through? Flair For The Dramatics or Never Let Me Go. Fic where against all odds it worked out in the end? Of Lies and Rash Decisions.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully I haven't to my knowledge.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I dabble in some every now and then... it's always soft and either full of jesper being a simp or a pining idiot (or both) during it. Lost On The Shape Of You and The Longest Hour are my only published examples

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

The only crossover I've published was Never Let Me Go, if that even counts considering it was more of a Spiderverse AU then a Spiderverse crossover. I have a How To Train Your Dragon wesper au in the works, but it's still in the baby phase so I don't yet know how faithful to the og movie the storyline will play out. There will definitely be all the iconic scenes anyway.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah! Of Merchlings and Letters Home, Of Lies and Rash Decisions and Flair For The Dramatics have all been translated into French by the wonderful shippoutsy on ao3 and twitter. (Link to the translated fics in the titles) it is one of the highest honour someone can bestow to a fanfic writer in my opinion, alongside fanart and book binding. If I was only more fluent in my native language I'd offer to translate so many of my fave fics

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not yet, but I'd love to one day! @mezlymils squinting at you babe

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Wesper... who's surprised?? Nobody

15. What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will?

So far it's my Rose Tinted Glasses wip. Tooth rotting fluff is way too difficult for me to write and I am STRUGGLING.

There's also the omalh epilogue

16. What are your writing strengths?

Metaphors are my lover and descriptive imagery my best friend!! I love being able to metaphor the fuck out of everything and I defo think one of my strengths is setting the scene. There's also internal monologuing but I think that's my adhd jumping out there hehe

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely dialogue and small scenes that don't require much description, such as washing dishes or something else mundane but necessary to the scene. I don't feel like I'm a very humorous person so having dialogue that's natural and in character is something I can struggle with a LOT.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's quiet jarring to me personally, really takes me out of the scene and forces me to disconnect from the fic, especially if its a language I don't know. A word or two is fine, but whole sentences don't work for me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I used to publish marauders fics on wattpad when I was 12...

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Of Lies and Rash Decisions my eldest child, Little Stolen Moments my middle child and Never Let Me Go my youngest child. Those fics are everything to me for so many reasons that I won't delve into here lest I bore you lmao

Tagging: @mezlymilsposts @crowpricorn @sunfl8wer @violets-and-books @littlelcvestory @thesacredlore ♡

#wesper fanfic #send anons #wesper #writing prompts #six of crows #crooked kingdom #ao3 writer #fanfiction writer #send asks #ask prompt

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pretentiouswreckingball · 1 year ago

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20 questions for fic writers!

thank you for the tag lovely kay @xjustakay <3

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

Six so far!

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

57,991 —which might not seem much but still, very proud of it, specially because a year ago, I wouldn’t have dreamed writing that many words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

So far only marauders, but I have some drarry/golden trio era in the making, as well as some PJO and GO so, we’ll see!

4. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?

Since I don’t have that many I’ll only put my top three:

Archenemies (or so he thought) -> Sirius hunts down his bestie James for ditching him on a prank and finds him cuddling with the enemy (a black cat) who turns out to be more of a pain in the ass than he expected, especially because for some reason, the little shit acts a lot like his brother.

Don’t threaten me with a good time -> Ah, Black cats, mischievous little things, aren’t they? Known for being a pain in the ass for older brothers, a good companion for best friends and devil incarnated for lovers and love ones alike.

When it rains -> It all comes down to a certain bus stop on a rainy week. Between interesting chats, pastries and being almost ran over by a purple car, there’s something about the person they share the bus stop with that seems familiar. (Basically a bunch of meet-cutes and pinning idiots being, well, idiots)

5. Do you respond comments? Why or why not?

I do, yes! I love responding to comments but sometimes I tell myself I’m going to answer later in the day and I forget :( but I do love comments, they make my day every time. 💘

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hands down it will be slow dancing in the dark, the whole fic is quite angsty, at least for me, but I wouldn’t say it has a angsty ending, maybe a little— nvm I just re-read it. Yeah, it’s sad.

7. What is a fic your wrote with the happiest ending?

My babygirl some sunny day, that fic is my go-to when I remember this fandom is based in death, angst and misery hahaha. Some sunny day is like a, well, a ray of sunshine lmao. It has my favorite setting, my fave pairs and some Spanish here and there. Love it dearly.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully no, maybe some weird ones but nothing that I would count as hateful. Really grateful for that, dunno what I would do if I were to receive those on a daily basis, never post again most likely lmao.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Haven’t post smut yet but I wrote some, still in the doc and everything but is there, waiting to be posted 😈

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest you’ve written?

Not really my thing, no. but maybe! who knows

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, haven’t looked Wattpad yet tho.

12. Have you ever has a fic translated?

No, but if anyone would want to, it would be lovely!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

It’s in the making, actually! @sequinhaze and I are doing a drarry fic, so there’s that 😌

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

All-time favorite is a not easy to answer, i mean currently it’s drarry and jeggy but my first was Percabeth and Solangelo, I was a sucker for them and still am. So maybe them.

15. What’s a wip you what to finish but doubt you ever will?

The empire of the sun trilogy jsjsjs maybe I’ll finish the first one but the other two seem pretty far away for me right now, but one never knows so.

Also copying Kay’s answer here because my google docs also looks like a graveyard of unfinished works lmao.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I believe I give a solid characterization and maybe storytelling (?? Inner monologue maybe? love to see the chaos i created in my little puppets.

17. What are you writing weaknesses?

Run on sentences, I’ve been told I tend to do that a lot hehe and comas —also it costs me greatly to just write, if I’m not in the mood it’s hard for me to just go for it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

1000% I’m favor. Some of my fics have French/Spanish in them, I like the idea of leaving non-spanish speakers to go to the end notes or to google translate or straight-up wonder what the hell I’m talking about jsjsj

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Some 1D and JB back in the day, so you bet your asses y/n and I were besties

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

About time, scars and the brightest stars is my absolute favorite. That fic is the love of my life, it has everything I love and more and rn I can put the link bc I took it down so I can finish it all and post it in one go but yeah, that one.

no pressure tags: @sequinhaze @a-fiery-fox @residentrookie @magswrite @fruityindividual @nevvaraven @inevitablestars @arakhnee

#this took me more time than I was expecting but I enjoyed it a lot #loops plays a game #tag games

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drev-the-procrastinator · 1 year ago

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20 Questions for Fic Writers -tag game

I got tagged by @zyrafowe-sny, thank you for the tag! This was fun! I wrote the answers at like 5 am sorry if they're rambly and unhinged haha.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

13, but really 7, because all but one of them are Finnish and English language versions of the same stories sjdfnasdfj

WWAIT 14! one of them is anonymous jhfashdfj almost forgot about that one

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

24 448

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Well,,, the fandoms I’ve published fic for are Hetalia (kringelis krongelis i know) and The Owl House, but when you add WIPs there’s also the Mandalorian, Noragami, and BNHA, and there USED to be HTTYD and GNG as well. Yeah the last one is the old anime where dogs fight bears. What can I say it’s really popular in Finland, Hopeanuoli 4ever

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

hands, grasping (the one TOH fic so no surprise there), Six Sunflowers (which is the oldest), Traitor’s Glory, Two Boys, Two Moments in Time, and lastly December 30th, 1929.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I mean I do try! When I leave comments it’s always nice to get answers, so I think it’s just nice to answer others. :) I do have some comments atm I’ve not answered but. Well. Just look at my url lmao

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

LMAO. I have no idea. I’m just going by the published ones here, but like: character seemingly falls to his death, character finds his mom’s dead on his 9th birthday and is left with his two other underage siblings to fend for themselves in the 1930s ussr, character resigns himself to the fact that his siblings probably hate him as he’s starving to death in a prison camp. Which one’s the angstiest? You choose!!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Lmaooo well none of them are really _happy_, uh. I think Laid Down By Human Hands has probably the most neutral ending, whereas Six Sunflowers is more bittersweet, but like the sweet is there… And then Two Boys isn’t terrible either? Like it sucks a little cuz that kid’s living in WWII time Finland ya know, but it’s _fine_. I dunno! In truth it’s probably the fic on anon that’s the least terrible, but even that ending’s not a _happy_ one, it’s got unrequited pining in it lol.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! So far at least! I don’t think my fics are popular enough to get it haha.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope! I’m almost strictly a gen writer, aside from like. 2 AUs and one TOH wip. I guess some of the WIPs could potentially and maybe should have some fade to black kinda scenes because they’re stories involving a fair amount of romance and in one of them it’s even kind of relevant to the plot. But yeah no.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

WELL, okay. You see, I actually started out writing via original fiction? I was like 12 when I made up a story based on a long-lasting play-pretend during recess thing I had going on with my dear friend, and it was. Written and plotted by a 12-year-old. But THEN I got really into the How To Train Your Dragon movies, and then I crossed over my story and HTTYD and then tried (still kinda low-key sorta in the process of) to separate it into my original story again, but this time with dragons! So that’s. Like the craziest journey ahfijsd my original as-of-yet unwritten fantasy story has a crossover sequel with HTTYD lmao. Also just occasionally I think about a potential giant crossover that’s got allllll my faves meeting and interacting, but that’s solely for daydreaming and “lmao wouldn’t it be funny if” -scenarios in my head. I’ve later also crossed the characters from my original story with other ones I’ve liked, in my head lol, but I don’t think I’ve written out any. Other than the TT x HTTYD hybrid. (TT is the WIP name for that original story. it doesn’t stand for anything anymore tho lmao it’s just tt)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope! Not to my knowledge, at least! Again, my fics don’t get enough hits/are too niche for anyone to think about stealing them, I imagine.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah! Almost all of them! By me. What can I say, I try to fight the good fight to keep my native language alive on the internet and also in my head.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I did once talk about the possibility with a friend, but nothing ever came out of it.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Hhhh. This is very silly but I don’t really actively ship stuff, and rarely think of ships outside of when I’m watching or reading the source material or something. Thus the one I can feel confident in saying I ship is a…. oc x canon ship sshfskjfsidkfajksaf or maybe it’d be more accurate to say oc x mutated blorbo version of a canon character lmao. It’s mainly in. 2 AUs that have so little to do with the source material that they might as well be original fiction and probably by this point mostly are lol.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

GHHH I want to finish ALL of my big 5 main WIPs because I love them dearly and want to read them, but then again. I don’t know if I ever will because I can’t get myself to fuckin WRITE any of them. So I’m just gonna say all of my main WIPs. That is:

TT (original fantasy story thing)

home front fic (historical fic set in WWII Finland about the friendship between a kid and the soviet POW sent to work on his home farm)

Kingdom AU (girl from the country accidentally befriends the crown prince and there’s politics and they fall in love and some cool stuff and some less cool stuff happens. hard to summarize cuz i’ve never had to, target demographic is like. three people + me. here's the aesthetics and vibe blog it's got)

sad BNHA fic (what if. Eri got ofa. but how? i murder someone to haunt the narrative. easy. sad. sad bnha fd. naming skills on full display here)

anddddd. hypothetical TOH fic (what if i came up with what happens after TTT before the two other eps of s3 came out and stayed on that path. what if the first thing i wrote about it was hunter falling off a cliff to his death. what then).

Kind of also TOH fic 3 (it’s about evelynnnnn) but that one is. Hopefully. Shorter and has the outline all written out so there’s a bigger likelihood of me finishing it someday. And to be fair the hypothetical TOH fic isn’t that long either, I could get it done, one day, but then the other ones have grown to massive size plotwise so I don’t know if I could ever get them done, actually. I hope so! But ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

16. What are your writing strengths?

I guess my plots are sometimes kinda good? Sad BNHA fic and Kingdom AU are pretty cool on that side. I used to be pretty good at writing dialogue too, but that was back when I a) wrote regularly, b) read a lot, and c) socialized. So. But I used to be good! though back then my plots were real frickin weird lol. in my defense. i was 14 to 17.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing itself. That’s the only answer I’ve got because recently I haven’t written enough to know what I’d be bad at. So just. Writing. See I can plot without writing, that’s why I’m good at that lmao

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Sure! Hell yeah! I’m gonna do that! I have done that! I love it, I love languages. Though translations are appreciated. Though I think it should be for emphasis, more so than just writing it in the language just for the hell of it (though like I had a wip where all the spoken dialogue was to be in Russian because there was so little of it and it was simple enough that I could do that, but i lost my notes for it). I think if it’s just normal dialogue and the pov character knows the language, it’s best to just add like, “they said in Finnish” to the dialogue tag, especially if there’s a lot of it.

In my personal opinion, also when the character doesn’t know the language, I probably wouldn’t write it out? But then if a character knew the basics of the language and it was maybe one sentence I would write it in the language. Or if it was a really important line, like someone telling another character they love them in their native language, or a culturally significant thing, like, idk the adoption vow in mando'a in the Star Wars universe. But sometimes it’s also just fun to show off your own language skills! So overall, strongly encouraged. Just. Try not to use Google Translate (etc.) for it jfajfasjdn

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Hhooo. Probably the Ginga-fandom, but that one was so brief it barely counts, so I’ll say HTTYD because of the crossover thing. If it’s just fanfic without crossing it over with my own original work lol then Hetalia.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

TRAITOR’S GLORY!!!!!! I got to talk about my rather niche but intense area of interest in it, which is Soviet POWs in Finland during the Continuation War 1941-1944. Well, that’s the finished one at least, there are some snippets of WIPs I’ve not posted nor finished that are also very good. Imo. But. Yeah. Most of the other favourite stuff I have, concerning my fics, hasn’t been written. So. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But Traitor’s Glory is pretty nice. :) Thanks again for the tag! I guess I'll tag some people, though no pressure: @evevoli @cowboy-garfield @peach-oolong-tea @starcloud-nova @littlekysworld @slightlycrunchy uh. yeah. If you see this and wanna do it you can say I tagged you! :) And no pressure!

#drev's fics #thanks again #sorry for all the links #got on my computer at last and just went ham with them

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sylusjinwoon · 2 years ago

Text

I posted 594 times in 2022

That's 594 more posts than 2021!

289 posts created (49%)

305 posts reblogged (51%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sattosugu

@everyyuuta

@ffxvcaps

@sems-diarie

@missmeinyourbones

I tagged 560 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#.conversations with you. - 163 posts

#.stories - 102 posts

#.lovely anonymous - 99 posts

#.the quiet beauty - 65 posts

#.pinocchio ♡ - 42 posts

#.my fave mutuals - 42 posts

#.lies of p - 31 posts

#yuta okkotsu x reader - 27 posts

#yuta okkotsu x you - 26 posts

#yuta okkotsu fluff - 25 posts

Longest Tag: 93 characters

#and my followers don't need to go through walls of text when trying to find something to read

My Top Posts in 2022:

{ 42.2 }

my boyfriend's jealous little brother.

sukuna x fem.reader

a.n. - i am completely blown away by the amount of feedback imagine { 42 } has received! normally, i hardly ever write a continuation for my oneshots, but i've gained so many readers thanks to this story that i figured writing another part wouldn't hurt.

warnings: unedited; possessive sukuna!; smut; minors do not interact!!

by choosing to interact with this 18+ content, you have willingly consented to viewing something nsfw despite the warnings.

the moment you had woken up, you felt like a mess.

there was a soreness felt between your legs, and when you tried to get up, you felt a weight holding you down. looking at the muscular arm still wrapped around your naked body, you recognized it as being sukuna's.

he was still sleeping soundly, and you could feel his hot breath against the back of your neck as he continued to hold on tightly to your form.

the heat felt against your cheek was overwhelming to you, and you recall every detail that had happened last night. from the way he had saved you from the disgusting pig that groped you to the actions that lead up to you finally sleeping with him.

that heart of yours, it's mine too, right?

in the midst him fucking you, you remember that question with perfect clarity and felt yourself tremble.

surely, he didn't mean anything by it, right?

he was just as desperate to claim you and take your virginity, that was all. there's no way he could possibly feel the same way about you.

while you were facing an existential crisis, you finally saw your reflection in the mirror settled in the corner of sukuna's room-

and holy shit were you horrified at the sight of your face.

it takes a couple of minutes, but you manage to escape from his tight embrace, picking up your tarnished clothes while going into yuji's bedroom. you rummage through his drawers and pull out one of his oversized t-shirts and shorts that you liked to wear each time you spent the night with him.

when you head to the bathroom, you saw evidence of last night's party strewn throughout the house and knew you needed to help with cleaning it. despite how the mess was because of sukuna, you couldn't really fault him for partying and wanting to enjoy his college life.

once you were inside the bathroom, you grabbed your spare tooth brush and threw away any trash you found and turned on the shower. while brushing your teeth, you allow the spray of warm water to wash away your caked makeup and fill your sore body with warmth.

you spent a lot of time washing yourself, massaging your scalp while slowly feeling normal again. you refused to allow your mind to think back to what had happened the night before, not wanting to fall into a false sense of hope.

once you felt refreshed enough, you stopped the shower and got out of it. you dried yourself with a towel before putting on yuji's clothes. you didn't think sukuna would be awake yet and had no worries when it came to potentially seeing him.

so when you opened the bathroom door, you jumped back upon seeing his six feet frame blocking your way out. as if seeing him so suddenly wasn't enough, he had to be half naked as well, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers as his muscular body was all you could see.

you tried looking away, only to fail miserably.

"s-sukuna! you're awake already?" it took a herculean effort to just look into his eyes and not focus on anything else, yet seeing him so close to you just made you remember everything he had done to you last night.

"tch, yeah, you weren't-"

he suddenly trails off, dark eyes narrowing when he sees you in his little brother's clothes. "take that shit off, now."

"wait, what? t-this is what i normally wear whenever i spent the night here with yuji!"

your admission seems to anger him even more when he pulls you towards him. "so you're saying you slept with him, too?!"

"wha- no! i could never sleep with yuji since he's like a brother to me, ah-"

it was too late to talk any sense to him, since sukuna already had you pressed against the wall. "i don't want you wearing his clothes, since you're fucking mine, got it?"

See the full post

692 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

{ 40 }

the five times he realized he loved you.

yuta okkotsu x reader

alternate title: becoming wrapped around your finger

yuta was painfully shy, always so timid when it came to meeting new people.

so why was it when he first laid eyes on you, he felt nothing but comfort?

your smile was the first thing he noticed as you held out a hand for him to take. you tell him your name, the syllables enough to send his heart into overdrive as he repeated it.

he decided then that he liked the sound of your name. despite it being your first meeting, yuta felt as though he had known you his whole life. you spent the day together, caught up in the excitement and tentative greetings that came with first meetings.

yet despite it all, yuta knew you would be someone special to him even then.

ii.

strewn throughout your shared apartment were boxes that held your belongings as you ate some chinese takeout together.

it was a dream come true, being able to move in with you and share a piece of his life with you-

but sadly, it wasn't in the way yuta had always wanted. you had reached out to him, eyes hopeful when you asked him to be your roommate. you wanted to prove to your parents that you could move out and live on your own-

however, you needed yuta, your best friend, by your side to do so. you see, your parents pretty much adored yuta since he was such a kind young man. they knew of his strengths and accomplishments and gave their entire trust to him when it came to protecting you.

you rolled your eyes upon hearing your parent's sentiments, but truthfully you couldn't imagine living in a safe place without yuta. which was why you asked him to move in with you, and with how yuta was already completely in love with you, he agreed to the arrangement.

there was an ache in his chest, knowing that he couldn't do anything to close the distance between the two of you. he watches you open a box while slurping up the lo mein noodles, concentrating solely on the task at hand.

yuta swore he had never seen anyone so beautiful before in his life. at the last second, you catch his stare and smile, offering the other half of the stir fried noodles to him. "want some?"

yuta pretends that he was, indeed, staring at the noodles and takes the box. he eats the food without tasting anything, feeling nothing but a sourness in his stomach.

he had to lie and deny that he had wanted you all along.

iii.

you were pacing the apartment, worried sick about yuta.

just hours ago, you had received a call from gojo, telling you how yuta had went to a bar with him and was now drunk out of his mind.

yuta had never been much of a drinker, so you struggled to understand what prompted yuta to act so recklessly.

a knock at the door breaks you out of your thoughts when you immediately go to open the door.

the sight that greets you was not a pretty one. gojo was holding on to yuta, as the poor young man struggled to keep his former student upright. he shoots you an apologetic expression, nodding over to yuta while asking, "do you mind bringing me to his room? as you can tell, okkotsu has become quite wasted after just a few drinks."

you help gojo, holding on to yuta's other arm as you both carried him into his bedroom. once he was safely back in bed did yuta finally let out a groan, appearing paler than usual as he threw an arm over his eyes. with him in bed, you turn to thank gojo, only to have him grip at your shoulders.

"i think you need to talk to him."

"about what?" gojo's words catch you off guard, yet still, the man simply shakes his head. "i can't say, but what i can disclose is that you're part of the reason why he's such a mess right now."

you were confused, unable to comprehend just what gojo meant. before you could even ask him to clarify, he gives you a wave, saying that he'd see himself out and to just please talk to him.

See the full post

709 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

{ 04 }

- feral yuta okkotsu headcanons -

yuta okkotsu x reader

notes: because feral yuta lives rent free in my head and heart ♡

okay so we all witnessed how yuta practically destroyed geto simply because he harmed his best friends.

geto elicited such a reaction from yuta because he hurt his friends

but can you imagine how yuta would react if anyone hurt the one he loved romantically???

imagine this: you met yuta one afternoon at a bookstore you frequented at.

and yuta just happens to be there, looking for a new book to read when his deep blue eyes lands on your form.

the poor boy is floored by your casual beauty. you just appear so soft to him that he immediately becomes infatuated with you

so he slides up to you, all shy smiles and blushes as he can't even bring himself to look you in the eye

keeping his sweet and enamored gaze glued to the floor when he shyly gives you his number

telling you that he found you to be beautiful and that he'd love it if you texted him sometime.

before he could even hear your reply, he chickens out and runs out of the store while squeaking out all sorts of apologies for "interrupting you while your browsed the books."

but lucky for him, you found him to be so cute and endearing

and ended up texting him later that night after dinner.

cue yuta being so ecstatic !!!

he was so happy, so energetic and excited that he replied to your text in less than a minute

you end up staying up all night just talking to each other

sharing your interests and talking about everything and anything all at once

of course, you made plans for your first date set for that coming weekend

with the both of you bursting with anticipation to see each other again.

yuta ( as stated in past headcanons ) is a very sweet and attentive boyfriend

he memorizes all of your habits and takes note of your likes and dislikes

he knew he adored you from your very first meeting, and was often super blushy and flustered during your first date

he just wanted everything to be so perfect, and his worries ended up melding into your first date just the tiniest bit

with him tripping over his two feet, or spilling his water at the table where you had lunch at.

but honestly, you found his flustered self to be flattering and merely took his tiny hiccups in stride.

after all, you'd be a fool to not accept him as your boyfriend.

you figured that after four months of dating yuta and calling him your boyfriend that he didn't have a mean streak in him

See the full post

840 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

{ 8 }

the neediest boys in the world.

eren yeager x fem.reader

modern au | the domestic life

you had to be the luckiest girl in the world to own the hearts of two boys who absolutely adored you.

settled in your arms was your 5 year old son. he shared a bit of both of you and your husband's features, combining the best of both worlds wrapped up in the most adorable package.

he may have inherited more of his father's personality than yours, but you couldn't deny that his eyes that were shining brightly matched your own shade to a T. the love you felt for this tiny human being in your arms was overwhelming, and you truly couldn't picture a life before your beloved son.

"mama, you're so pretty." he tells you with the widest grin, practically doting on you as well as he leaned up against you on your lap to get a better look at your face. as he cups your cheeks with his two chubby hands, you couldn't help but laugh as he presses sloppy kisses against each and every one of your features, finishing each kiss with an audible 'mwah!'

"when i get older i'm gonna marry you, mama!" your son proclaims with a confidence that was very reminiscent of when your husband asked for your hand in marriage, making you smile as you nuzzled your son's cheek.

"silly, mama can't marry you because she's already married to papa, you know that." you giggle upon seeing his sweet pout, "yeah, but i love you WAY MORE than papa does! that's why i'm gonna stay with you forever!"

your son seals his promise with another kiss, this time against your cheek as a grunt was heard coming from the doorway, "hey, quit kissin' mama like that, you're makin' papa jealous."

a mischievous gleam was seen in your son's eyes as he immediately wraps his tiny arms around your neck all while sticking out his tongue at eren, "go away papa! me an' mama are busy cuddling!"

"you've been cuddling mama for thirty minutes, it's my turn now." you rolled your eyes at eren's theatrics. if anyone would be jealous of their own child, it would be eren.

"no way papa, it's my mama!"

"oh yeah? well your mama belonged to me way before you were even born!"

of course it would be eren.

being fed up with this constant back and forth bickering, eren takes matters into his own hands when he steps closer to where you and your son was settled on the couch, "fine, if you won't let me cuddle mama, i guess i'll just have to cuddle both of you!"

"wait what?! eren-"

your husband proved to still be the strongest man you knew as he picked you and your son up with ease, earning several giggles from your child as eren settles himself against the couch with the both of you settled back on his lap. with you finally in his arms again, eren presses soft kisses against the junction where your neck and shoulder met, resting his head against it before letting out a content sigh, "ah, much better."

"no fair papa! quit copying me, i was busy kissin' mama too!" cue your child flinging himself into your arms as he buried his face deep within your chest, earning yet another grunt of disapproval from eren. "hey, don't press yourself against mama's chest like that!"

with you sandwiched between what had to be the two greatest loves of your life, you couldn't stop the carefree laughter that escaped your lips as you fell back into your husband's embrace all while holding your son tightly against your chest.

you may have to deal with the neediest boys in the entire world for the rest of your life, but you knew that there was nowhere else you'd rather be than with them by your side.

See the full post

1,427 notes - Posted March 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

{ 42.1 }

my best friend's older brother.

sukuna x fem.reader

notes/warnings: unedited; no curses; college au; sukuna is 22 while reader is 19; reader getting groped ( not by sukuna ! ); potentially ooc; shameless smut; minors don't interact!!!

by choosing to interact with this 18+ content, you have willingly consented to viewing something nsfw despite the warnings.

"this is my older brother, sukuna."

it was your first time ever meeting yuji's older brother, sukuna, and embarrassingly enough, that was the moment you had fallen for him. at the ripe age of 16, you were never one to have crushes and fall for someone so easily-

yet here you were, practically trembling from the sight of such a beautiful man standing before you.

it was obvious he had just come out of the shower, wearing nothing but a pair of sweats with a plush towel wrapped around his neck. tattoos decorated the borders of his face, painting him in such an attractively forbidden light. you could feel yourself taking him in, admiring his eyes and how they shared the same hues as melted chocolate.

you felt yourself drowning in them and found it difficult to look away from him.

as if reading your thoughts, sukuna gives you a smirk all while calling out your name in a purr, "my brother has told me so much about you. i didn't think you'd be so cute."

"okay, that's enough." yuji suddenly stands in front of you in a protective manner, "i refuse to let my best friend become another one of your conquests, so if you could just back off we have a project to do."

"by all means, don't let me stop you." sukuna holds up his hands, feigning innocence while staring at you with an unreadable expression. "i'm not here to mess up your project, little bro, especially since you're so eager to keep such a pretty girl to yourself."

it took every ounce of willpower to not look back at him when yuji leads you back to his room. once you were deemed safe from sukuna, yuji sighs all while scratching the back of his head. "sorry, i don't know why sukuna chose this weekend to come back. he's usually busy partying at university, or whatever the hell he does there. but don't mind him, okay?"

even with the memory of his heated gaze and how hot it made you feel, you ignored the sensation and got back to working on your project like the good student you were.

despite how you had known yuji for most of your life, you had never met his older brother before. all you knew was that he was three years older than yuji and was in college. sure, he may have mentioned sukuna a few times in passing, but for the most part they lived their lives separately after their parent's divorce.

yuji lived with his father and grandfather, while sukuna lived with their mother. you were comfortable with the itadori patriarchs and was happy to be yuji's best friend, blissfully unaware of sukuna's presence until now.

meeting sukuna was what made your heart stir. whereas yuji was tenderness and brotherly affections, you knew sukuna would be the exact opposite. you swore you could still feel the sensation of his gaze burning into you, and a part of you was afraid-

but a stronger, more irrational side wanted to be engulfed by his flames.

the thought was enough to make your heart race, and you recall struggling to focus for the rest of the day.

even after three years, your feelings continue to remain unchanged. sukuna had taken over your thoughts completely-

you were helplessly in love with him, and even if he couldn't return your feelings, you wanted a taste of what it would be like to just feel him on your skin. to taste him and drown within those dark eyes.

yuji had known about your feelings for sukuna and did his best to sway you, to convince you that he wasn't good for you and that you deserved so much better than what he was only capable of giving.

"sukuna doesn't believe in relationships. i know you may be drawn to his bad boy persona and whatnot, but i'm begging you please, don't pursue him."

you weren't stupid, and you knew that yuji's words held so much truth in them. but that didn't stop you.

you wanted to make your presence known to sukuna, to make your daydreams come true if only to stop loving him. once you felt how callous he was and how roughly he would treat you before tossing you away, then maybe you could finally stop looking at him through a rose colored lens and be taken back to reality.

which was what lead you to your current situation.

sukuna had finally come home once more for his summer vacation. you heard from yuji that sukuna wanted to stay home while the rest of the itadori clan took a vacation to a famous hot spring up in the mountains, being the designated 'house sitter' with too much enthusiasm. unfortunately, jin itadori was none the wiser as he gladly allowed sukuna to stay home as long as that was what made him happy. yuji had invited you to come along with megumi and nobara, but you had politely declined.

yuji gave you a suspicious look, but you put on your most convincing smile and told him to not worry, that you simply already made plans with your own family for summer.

it was a miracle that yuji ended up believing you, which meant that your true plans were already set in motion.

See the full post

1,650 notes - Posted June 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #this is actually so neat~

3 notes · View notes

andreabaideas · 8 months ago

Note

i love your smut Headcanons ! What are your top 5 Billy/ Camila and Julia scenes.

Thank you!

My top 5 Billy/Camila and Julia scenes are:

5- The post Sex scene at the hotel, they were cute and Sam served there.

4- The spicy scene were Billy records Camila (I even posted photos of Sam in that scene)

3- The wedding, so cool. Also Camila looked so pretty.

2-The Laundry met cute , wholesome rom com material, I liked It a lot.

1- The Pick up you baby scene , was one of my faves of the show, very good writing there.

I have others that didn't make It to the top like The "lets have another baby" , when he says goodbye to Camila (dressed in Orange/red) by kissing her and tiny Julia during the tour, the Camila joins the Six scene at the bus when they are going to California and the scene where Billy calls Camila and Julia and tiny Julia Its asleep.

That's It! Have a nice day!

#answered asks

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thewintersoldierdisaster · 10 months ago

Text

OH MY GODDDDDDD 😭😭😭 THIS FIC!!! THIS FIC IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING 😭😭😭😭

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO FUCK BUDDIES TO LOVERS???? i am well and truly dead ☠️ my favorite fucking trope when they’re both in love with each other but won’t say anything because they don’t want to ruin the friendship 🫶🏻🫶🏻

like genuinely how do you capture mat so perfectly?? on your first time writing him?? he’s absolutely this menace of a frat/fuck boy but so sweet on the inside and like clueless. he’s just so dumb and dopey and i love him and we stan long hair mat on this blog 🥹

the first segment, the 2013 one, is actually the cutest and i felt like i was sitting by the lake with them and just i was so drawn into the world completely

fun fact, sleeping beauty is my fave disney princess so her name being aurora is like the most perfect thing ever and i also used to be a brunette until like six weeks ago when i went blonde so like the details are perfect!!

the razzing in the locker room? spectacular, amazing, my favorite thing ever! and the combo of dobby, whally, marty, and pierre being the roasters is like actually what i picture the main chirping group to be in real life lol

the fact that he’s loved her since HIGH SCHOOL??? actually kill me because that’s the dream 🤩

the smut was so freaking good and just the perfect amount mixed in with the pining and i AGGHHHH THE FACT THAT IT TOOK THEM TEN YEARS TO GET TOGETHER IS LIKE TOP NOTCH FRIENDS TO LOVERS

his way of telling aurora that he wants to be with her over facetime was like so quintessentially BOY i’m actually obsessed with it. like he’s genuinely that dumb that he thinks that was the best way to ask her out ☠️

all the little ubs and long island and garden city details were perfect!! and THANK YOU for writing “on” long island because when people use “in” long island i get an eye twitch because im literally such a cliche about my hometown lmao. 10/10 want to wear mat’s jersey that he left for me with a hand written note to a game 🥲

and damn the fictional loss to the preds is actually genuinely painful after the real life loss to the preds the other day 🫠☠️ thank god for fictional hockey when real life hockey makes me crazy

mat and aurora are my new favorites forever and ever and i love them so freaking much ♥️♥️♥️

i’m going to cry and read this again a million times 🥰🥰🥰

love it if we made it - mat barzal

Pairing: Mat Barzal x OC (f)

Summary: Aurora Foster and Mat Barzal are friends. Sometimes with benefits, sometimes with unspoken feelings, but always with a little something extra. When they have the opportunity to close the cross-country gap between them, will they be able to overcome the skinny love and take their relationship to the next level?

Word Count: 9.2K

Author's Note: My first ever Barzal fic written for @thewintersoldierdisaster for @wyattjohnston's Winter Fic Exchange! You are such a talented writer and I really wanted to make this a good one - I hope I managed to get the Garden City details covered correctly. 😉 It was a blast to write for someone new even though I am still reluctantly slowly joining the Barzy train. Enjoy, my dear! Thank you to @smileysvech, @pyotrkochetkov, @jostystyles, and @Demi for all of your help in brainstorming, editing, sending inspirational Barzy pics, and the usual general insanity. Couldn’t do it without y’all. Also, just for the record, Mat has hair in this entire fic. No bald Barzy allowed.

Warnings: Mutual pining, angst, alcohol use (characters get drunk), Mat being a bit of a fuckboy. Smut (18+ ONLY); unprotected sex, general sexual tension/sexual themes. Masterlist

July 2013 - Vancouver, British Columbia

The crackling of the fire melds with the gentle splash of waves on the shoreline, crickets chirping happily amid the cool summer breeze. Smoke billows up, wafting to a deep sky sparkling with stars, not a cloud in sight.

Aurora Foster watches the flames, absorbing the warmth on her legs. There’s a blue koozie on the armrest of her Adirondack chair, holding a Diet Coke. She allows herself to sink into the warm, worn cotton of her Burnaby Winter Club sweatshirt, sighing contentedly.

“Anyone want more pizza? I’ve gotta rock a piss.”

Rolling her eyes, Aurora scoffs as the rest of the group murmurs no’s. “Charming, Fabbs.”

The next voice that rings out is clear. “Anyone wanna go for a late night dip?”

“Yeah, I’ll go.” This time of night is Aurora’s favorite time for a swim, when the lake is all but glass and the water feels like a lukewarm bath; not warm, but certainly not cold after spending a day baking under a bright British Columbia sun.

There are no other takers, so she looks expectantly across the fire. His dark hair is shaggy, unkempt, air-dried after a day in the lake. His brown eyes lock with hers, and he jerks his head toward the dock with a grin. “Race you.”

Mat Barzal.

A name that holds the burden of promise. He’s going to be drafted in a few years, to the Show—and he’s going to be good. Not I’m just saying that because he’s my friend and I’m supposed to say that—no, he’s going to be good, potentially even great.

Here, though, he’s just Mat. He feels weird about the weight his name is starting to hold, not really knowing what to do with the slight level of fame. He’s made a vow to himself that whatever happens, he won’t let it get to him, won’t let it change the fabric of who he is—this guy, right here, feeling the warm breeze through his hair as sprints down the wooden dock, two smaller feet pattering rapidly behind him.

“You first,” he grins, gesturing toward the ladder.

“What if there’s a big monster waiting right there and it eats me?”

“I’ll jump in and save you,” he says, like there’s no hesitation. He glances down to double check that there is no actual sign of danger. Aurora doesn’t notice, her eyes also on the dark water, illuminated only slightly by the brightness of the moon.

“You promise?”

“I promise.” The way he says it is so sure that it actually comforts her for a split second, enough time for her confidence to reach the appropriate level to jump in with a splash.

Her body is immersed in cold for the briefest of seconds before she’s enveloped in warmth. The splash next to her tells her that Mat has joined her beneath the water. He rises to the surface a few moments later, letting out a scoff as he shakes out his hair.

“Shit. You like this?” he asks, swimming out toward the trampoline floating a few meters away.

“It’s nice!” she says, following him. “Refreshing.”

“It’s cold.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be a big macho hockey player?”

He ignores her with a roll of his eyes, rising back out of the water to climb the ladder to the trampoline. Aurora opts to swim around a while longer, feeling the weight of the water gliding over her skin. It’s nice, heavenly even, how the water makes her weightless.

When she approaches the trampoline, the blast of cool air against her wet skin makes her shiver, goosebumps instantly covering her body. Mat glances at her, sees the way her arms have wrapped around herself in an attempt to warm herself. He extends an arm, his own skin almost dry. “C’mere.”

His arm curls around her frame, warmth of him already heating her skin. He’s not sure if it’s his heart or hers that he can feel beating—maybe it’s both, beating in a steady, sure rhythm next to one another.

Aurora’s toes nudge his, the gesture comfortable and affectionate; a silent thank you.

June 2018 – Vancouver, British Columbia

By all accounts, it’s a normal Thursday evening in June; Aurora’s housemates are getting ready to go out to the bar—there are plugged-in curling irons, loose cans of hairspray, scattered makeup brushes all over the counter alongside an assortment of cups in varying stages of empty. A half-full fifth of Smirnoff is there too, the cap misplaced somewhere.

On any other occasion, Aurora would be right there with them, blasting Taylor Swift and chattering about if Brad will finally make a move on Carley. Tonight, though, she’s opted out in favor of spending the night on the couch in her favorite sweatpants. Just not feeling a bar tonight, she’d said.

The silence when the door finally closes behind her friends is almost deafening; she hadn’t realized how loud it was in the chaos of the pre-night-out ritual. With a contented sigh, Aurora plops down on the couch and tugs a blanket over her legs, opening Netflix and starting an episode of New Girl.

She's part way through her second episode and her first glass of wine when she gets the text.

[Mat:] what’s the play tn

Mat. Of course. He’s home for the summer now, back after his first year in Long Island, and recently returned from winning the Calder trophy. Aurora still had a hard time connecting that this Mat, the one that she’s known since they were 12, the one who she grew up hearing make stupid dick jokes with his friends, is the same one that just won Rookie of the Year in the National Hockey League.

Instead of typing out a message, Aurora snaps a photo of the wine glass in her hand and blanket in her lap with the TV in the background. It doesn’t take long for the response bubble to pop back up, and soon enough the whoosh of an incoming text sounds.

[Mat:] want some company?

Aurora’s heart freezes in her chest. She hasn’t spent any time alone with him since that sorority formal her sophomore year, the one she bribed him to attend with her so she wasn’t the only girl without a date. It was platonic—that didn’t even need to be discussed—and it had been nice to have a familiar figure by her side; it didn’t hurt that he was starting to make a name for himself in the hockey world as a top draft pick headed for the NHL.

What started as a simple, friendly night ended with her leg wrapped around his waist, leaning against the bathroom door of the venue, moaning his name. She didn’t know how they ended up there, but what she did know was that it was passionate, mind-boggling, life-altering sex.

At least, to her it was. He’d never mentioned it since.

At first, it lingered on the tip of her tongue every time he was around, waiting to be blurted out when the sinking confusion became too much to bear. But one month, two months, three months passed, with no recognition or acknowledgement that anything happened between them.

For a while, she began to believe that she’d dreamt it; that her mind conjured the hottest, dizziest, most viscerally real dream possible. But then she’d see his eyes flick to hers during the sex scene in a movie and feel the spark of electricity when his hand would brush hers. Just briefly, but enough for her to confirm that no, she didn’t imagine it all.

Needless to say, Aurora can’t help the rising suspicion at the seemingly random text. Surely, he couldn’t be thinking about one night years ago when he had the pick of any girl he wanted at his fingertips.

Before she can stop herself, she's typing ‘bring chocolate’ and soon, she hears her front door open. There’s a shuffle, the sound of shoes being shrugged off, before that handsome face is rounding the corner. His eyes land on her in an instant, a predatory gaze simmering behind an unassuming smile. In his hand is a plastic bag from which he fishes out a pack of peanut M&M’s, tossing them at her.

Aurora squeals, eagerly tearing open the packet and immediately tossing three into her mouth. After an expectant eyebrow raise from him, she heaves herself off the couch with a dramatic sigh and runs the short distance to him before launching into his arms.

“Thank you, Matty,” she says, voice muffled by the black Acme sweatshirt he’s wearing. He’s warm. And big—bigger than he was before he left for New York. “And congratulations.”

He hums a response, following her as she resumes her spot, this time making room for him beside her. “You didn’t want to go out tonight? Celebrate that enormous trophy?”

Mat shrugs, placing her feet in his lap and securing the blanket over both. “Could take it or leave it. Can’t leave you to be home alone and bored.”

She rolls her eyes and nudges his leg with her foot. “Shut up. You didn’t have to come over.”

“Honestly, I need a break after that media circus,” he confesses. “So much press, so many questions, so many pictures. It’s exhausting.”

Aurora nods understandingly, though she can only imagine being put on public display the way he is day in and day out, the attention only heightened now that he’s won the Calder. She’s seen the pictures, the articles, all of the buzz, feeling a slight tinge of jealousy—not of him, but that she has to share him with the rest of the world now.

Mat settles in, and casual conversation filters in amidst the episode, pausing at moments to hear the dialogue before another one of them is adding commentary or snorting at someone’s Instagram story. It’s so casual, so normal, his place beside her on the couch; like finally finding that one pivotal puzzle piece she’s been looking for for hours. He’s calm, relaxed, and once again she begins to wonder if she’s been creating something out of nothing this entire time. If the flood of nerves in her chest is an overreaction.

“You still seeing that frat guy? Tim, or whatever his name is?”

The question comes out of nowhere. Aurora can’t help but wonder if she detects a hint of jealousy.

“Was never really seeing him,” she replies, leaving a heavy pause, enough time for him to fill in the blanks. It’s true, but maybe she chose her words intentionally, curious to see if that lilt in his tone really was jealousy.

He doesn’t react much outside of a nod and an over-engineered nice, but she sees the very slight tick in his jaw. She resists the urge to roll her eyes, instead supplying, “You really gonna give me shit, Mr. Hot-Shot-NHL rookie?”

“Listen,” he grins, “it’s not my fault there’s a million single girls in New York.”

This time, Aurora does roll her eyes, if only to hide the sting she feels deep in her chest. She wouldn’t say she has feelings for Mat Barzal, but—well, it’s complicated. It’s always been there, buried deep beneath the surface, veiled as fond affection for a friend who’s grown by her side since they were 12.

“But none of them are as pretty as you.”

Aurora has to laugh, can’t help but laugh, rather than feel the discomfort that sinks in when she processes what he said. He’s always like this—these seemingly harmless, flirty comments—but those are the ones that keep his hooks latched into her, keeping her coming back for more, dangling by a single thread of hope.

“Don’t be a dick.”

“M’not. You’re so pretty it hurts.”

She moves to kick him—playfully, mostly—but his hand catches her foot in an instant. Before she has a chance to protest, barely processing the evil grin that hatches on his face, he’s tickling her arch. Aurora shrieks, legs flailing in protest, doing her best to scramble out of his grasp. Mat’s laugh is mirthful as his strong arms easily overpower her, hands moving to her hips to pin her to the couch.

“You’re gonna—” he pauses to wrestle her down, “—hurt yourself.”

“Fuck off,” she shouts playfully, hands shoving wildly at his hands in a weak attempt to stop him from tickling at her sides. “I—I hate you!”

In a flash, Aurora finds her arms pinned above her head, large hands pressed into her wrists. She shrieks again, but the laughter dies in her throat when she realizes he’s paused, hovering over her. Her legs stop their thrashing, breath caught in her throat while her heart thumps in her chest. She isn’t sure how long they sit like that, frozen in time, staring at one another; she wonders if he’s thinking the same thing she is, flashing back to the night spent inside the dimly lit bar bathroom.

And then he’s kissing her, desperate, his open mouth pressed against hers. It consumes her, the feeling of his lips, in a way that makes her wonder how she’s survived the last two years without his touch. The thought of stopping is unthinkable, unfathomable, unbearable.

Mat’s hand slides down her arm to cup her jaw, thumb brushing against her cheekbone while his tongue finds hers. With her now free hand, Aurora instinctively moves to run her fingers through his hair, soft and smooth. It’s long, long enough that she can wrap the locks around her knuckles, offering a firm hold that has him exhaling lowly against her mouth.

With just the simplest, subtlest move, Aurora’s flipped the switch inside of Mat that transforms him from doting, passionate lover to desperate and unrestrained. His lips pivot to nip at the base of her jaw, offering a subtle bite on his way down to her neck.

She can hear his heavy breath, feels it hot against her skin. His palm draws warmth up her side, rucking up her t-shirt to expose her bare stomach before his hand dives beneath the hem of the cotton to press flat against her ribcage. It’s shameful how quickly Mat can render her little more than a lolling, whimpering mess, back arched eagerly to chase his touch; she wants to kick herself for giving in so easily.

His hands move in tandem with his mouth, caressing, kneading, aiding her slow descent into madness. When he tugs the cotton over her head, grateful there’s no bra impeding his view, Mat swoops down to her breasts like a starving man getting his first taste of food; with a groan, his tongue swipes over a pebbled nipple.

Aurora’s afraid to say his name, afraid that if she calls attention to the moment, he’ll snap out of it and stop.

And she can’t have that.

Hands roam, chased by hot breath and wet kisses, until she’s all but naked on her living room couch, as if she lives alone and doesn’t have roommates that could come home at any given moment.

He doesn’t even bother to take her panties off, instead ripping them to the side and wetting his tip with her slick, teasing her folds for just a moment.

Mat pauses at her entrance, breath heavy in his chest. His eyes trail up to hers, and Aurora’s heartbeat ticks, afraid he’s going to change his mind right now, when she needs him more than she’s ever needed anything in her life.

And then his eyes slink over her body with a smirk, admiring her breasts, her curves, the way her legs have wrapped around his hips—when did that happen? Mat’s dick twitches when he realizes he has nowhere to go but inside the dripping wet cunt in front of him, perfect and tempting and waiting to be filled up. He lets the low groan rumble in his chest while his lips return to the spot he sucked into her neck.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so pretty like this,” he murmurs against her skin. “Always think of you like this.”

Mat waits for only a moment, so brief that it flits by almost unnoticed, before he’s pushing in with a low groan. Aurora gasps at the sensation, infinitely better than everything her imagination conjures when her fingers slip between her thighs at night. Nothing replicates the feeling of him buried to the hilt inside her wet heat.

“How long you been thinkin’ ‘bout this, sweetheart?” he rasps once he grows accustomed to the way she squeezes him. “Been thinkin’ ‘bout you for a long time.”

Aurora’s fingers settle into the dip of his shoulders, breasts pressed into his chest. She tries to answer, but all that comes out is a moan. How can he expect her to speak when his hips are punching into her like they’re getting paid for it?

He’s smug at the way he’s rendered her speechless, entranced by the way she feels. Sensing he might not make it long, Mat focuses on his rhythm, finding the one that has her nails scratching down his back so he’ll have a perfect reminder of her wrapped around his dick.

When her moans escalate, he brings a hand between their bodies, watching the way her eyes flutter shut when he rubs at her clit. “Bein’ so good and so pretty for me, ‘Ror. Wanna feel you squeezin’ me while you come.”

She likes when he talks, judging by the way her breath hitches and her cunt tightens, so he keeps talking, muttering pretty, filthy somethings in her ear while he circles her clit. Before long, his whispers are covered by the sound of her crying out his name—she sounds the same as she did two years ago, sweeter this time now that he knows what she feels like when she comes.

Later, when he slips out into the night, Aurora presses her fingers against the hickey on her neck, memorizing the feeling of his lips against her skin.

July 2019 - Vancouver, British Columbia

Aurora takes a seat in the chiavari chair beside Gina, offering Dante a wave. A string quartet plays softly, ushering in wedding guests taking their seats before the ceremony. She’s there more out of obligation to the Fabbros, the bride a cousin of theirs that she’d grown up with, too.

Mat sidles in far too close to the start of the ceremony, plopping himself into the seat next to Aurora. He bumps shoulders with her, offering a grin when she mouths “hi” as the precessional begins.

The ceremony is sweet, the food is excellent, and Aurora can’t help but tear up at the best man’s speech during dinner. Afterwards, everyone is on the dance floor, moving and grooving to a Bruno Mars mashup.

Everyone except two people.

Outside of the tent, Mat and Aurora are sitting on a bench, watching the sunset. Not feeling this song, Mat had murmured to her before jerking his head toward the tent opening, and who was she to say no to accompanying her friend to take in a Vancouver sunset?

“You think you’ll do all this?” The question is abrupt but curious, like his mind had been wandering and he blurted it out as soon as it appeared in his head.

“What? A wedding?”

He nods, gesturing around. “Yeah. You know, the flowers, the fuckin’… doilies, and shit.”

Aurora’s eyebrow raises as she hides a smile. “Do you even know what a doily is?”

“No, but it feels like something that would be here,” he says with a shrug. Dante’s loud laughter echoes from inside, piercing the quiet reprieve from the music.

A few moments pass, the silence comfortable. “Yeah, I think I’d like to get married someday. Do the whole thing. No doilies, though.”

Mat snorts, nudging her knee with his. “Wonder what the guy's gonna be like.”

Aurora considers for a moment. In the few minutes they’ve been outside, the sun has slipped beneath the horizon, its dim, fading light still splaying out from behind the trees. Dusk looks good on him, she thinks. “He’s gonna get me flowers. And take care of me when I’m drunk. And he’s gonna be really, really good looking.”

Mat hums, impressed. “Damn. Sounds like a catch.”

“Duh. I’m a catch,” she says, to which Mat nods in agreement. “How about you?”

“She’s gonna have a great rack,” he replies, grinning so wide he almost ruins the delivery of the joke before he’s doubling over. Aurora snorts but joins him in laughter with a playful smack to the shoulder.

Inside the tent, the DJ makes some announcement that Aurora only half hears—something about grabbing a loved one. Mat extends a hand, smiles wide, and she ignores the thump of her chest as she slips her fingers against his palm.

The anticipation pangs in her chest as he leads her to the dance floor. She feels a sliver of apprehension as he turns to face her, placing his hands respectfully on her waist. Instantly, there’s a flash of the night on the couch, of his lips against her skin; if he’s thinking about it, too, he doesn’t show any outward indication.

Any trace of discomfort dissipates once she gives in to his gravitational pull, hands lacing together behind his neck. He’s strong, sturdy, solid—the way he’s always been, ever-present and a constant in her life since she was 12. His eyes are warm, enveloping Aurora in his gaze until she forgets that there’s anyone else around.

They sway through the remainder of the song, and when notes begin to slow, she finds herself wishing it would last longer. Fortunately, almost like the DJ is privy to her thoughts, the beat picks up, slow song melding into something more upbeat. Mat blinks, the bubble surrounding them popping unceremoniously. He can’t bring himself to let Aurora go, not when she feels so right in his arms.

With a dramatic pull, Mat spins her around, hand supporting her back as he dips her backwards. Aurora squeals, hand clutching onto his as her footing almost loses balance. Laughter bubbles out of her throat as Mat pulls her back upright, his eyes glowing with amusement. Suddenly, he’s looking to do anything to keep hearing that sound.

It takes a truly revolting love song for them to finally leave the dance floor, beelining toward the bar in search of liquid refreshment and a break. The rest of the evening is easy, full of elation and conviviality, the kind of night that makes your cup overflow and runneth over.

That night, when Aurora slips into bed tipsy at 2AM with a contented sigh, she falls asleep dreaming of brown eyes and a crooked smile.

December 2022 – New York, New York

When Mat saw the text informing him that Aurora had a job interview for a Software Engineering Lead at TekStack in New York, he offered up his spare bedroom before she could even tell him the date. It would be a waste of money to stay at a hotel when he had an apartment he barely used, he said, and she could make a long weekend out of it and he’d show her around Long Island.

The grin on Mat’s face grows the instant he sees her, a gray coat draped over her arm as she wheels her carry-on behind her. He opens his arms and she falls into them, the way she has a hundred times. “Welcome to New York.”

“—it’s been waiting for you!”

“Set you up for that on purpose,” he says, offering to take her bag. “You hungry?”

“Starving,” she replies. “But I really want to get the airplane off me first. Maybe takeout for tonight?”

Mat smiles. “Say no more. I know exactly the place.”

A few hours later, Aurora is seated at Mat’s counter, a spread of styrofoam across the quartz. Her suit is hanging in a garment bag on the back of the door to the guest bedroom, waiting to be pressed before her interview. It’s so familiar, the fondness, the sense of comfort, the shared laughter over a plate—or several—of food, but it’s no longer Dante’s family’s lakehouse or the Barzal family’s finished basement. This time, it’s Mat’s fancy apartment in Garden City, the rent alone more than what Aurora makes in a month.

But it’s still the same Mat sitting across from her. Same crooked smile, same easy laughter, same silly, unabashed personality. Admittedly, she was anxious wondering about how things would be; they’d hung out plenty over the summer, kept in touch via the group chat, but their one-on-one time had been limited the last few years.

Despite the apprehension, Aurora is surprised at how quickly they shake off the rust, barely needing any recoil time before it feels like old times. Of course, the camaraderie and pleasantries aren’t nearly enough to build up an immunity to his gray Lululemon sweatpants or the peek of his sculpted Adonis belt when he raises his arms in a lazy stretch. She wasn’t sure how she’d feel when she saw him, but she reluctantly accepts the steady beat of her heart in her chest that tells her her crush is, in fact, still holding strong.

They stay up chatting far longer than Mat anticipated, bedtime delayed even further when he offers to help her prepare for her interview, shrugging with a, I’m not tired anyway—anything to spend just a little more time with her. He Googles ‘Top Interview Questions’ and spends over an hour posing them to her, letting her work through how she’d answer each. Admittedly, he had never really had much practice in the way of a job interview outside of the pre-draft conversations he’d had with various NHL GM’s, but he had more than enough experience at preparing for an onslaught of questions—and how to shake off the nerves beforehand.

“The thing I’ve learned most is to be concise,” he says, thinking back to when he first did NHL-mandated media training. “Don’t be afraid to take a few seconds after the question to think through what you want to say. That helps so you don’t ramble.”

“Don’t ramble. Got it.”

“And listen to some boss bitch music that hypes you up on your way in. It makes a difference. I promise.”

Aurora raises an eyebrow. “I’m gonna need to know what type of ‘boss bitch’ music you’re listening to pre-game, Barzal.”

“Megan Thee Stallion is my top preference,” he says with a grin, “but if you tell anyone that, I’ll deny it and say Drake.”

“Any last expert advice for me?”

“Get a good night’s sleep,” he says, then glances at his phone at the mention of the time. “Which means we’re about two hours behind schedule. Let’s get you to bed.”

Mat offers to carry her bag to the guest bedroom—decorated straight out of a West Elm catalog—and Aurora thanks him before bidding him good night. After changing into her pajamas, she quickly shakes off the urge to pad down the hallway and slip into Mat’s bed with him, reminding herself that that isn’t why she’s here.

Instead, she settles into the soft sheets, feeling herself slipping right back into the old, familiar flutter in her chest.

—

Serendipitously, the scheduling worked out perfectly: the interview was Friday at 1PM, and the Islanders hosted the Predators on Friday night at 7PM, which meant Dante would be in New York and around for post-game dinner, drinks, and a little mid-season reunion for the trio of friends. Aurora shook away the feeling that fate was somehow intervening.

Friday morning arrives, and Mat has morning skate, so he wishes her good luck with a tight hug before he shoves a protein bar in his mouth on his way out the door. For good measure, he sends a string of emojis (💪👩🏽‍💼✅💰) once he arrives at the rink, hoping they’ll give her an extra boost of confidence.

Practice is relatively easy, more of the opportunity to move his body and run through some plays—nothing intense, preserving energy for the actual game. He’s thankful for a pretty painless practice as his mind continually floats to Aurora, wondering how her interview went. Mat isn’t quite sure why he feels so invested in her landing this role until he realizes that if she gets it, she’ll be moving to New York.

“Barzy, you trying to go out after the game?” Oliver asks across the locker room. Mat’s tugging on a pair of sweatpants, fresh from his post-practice shower.

“He can’t,” Matt pipes in with a lopsided grin. “His girl is here.”

Mat groans, pressing a hand to his face as he points a middle finger in Marty’s direction. Next thing he knows, the chirps and wolf whistles fill the room and he feels Pierre aggressively nudge his shoulder.

“A girl?”

“Yeah, the hot brunette. Total smokeshow,” Casey fills in for him.

“Woof woof, Barzy!”

“Get it, Matty B!”

“Fuck off,” Mat huffs, a dismissive hand directed at no one in particular. “She’s not my… girl.”

“She stayin’ at your place?” Dobson asks. “Gonna be at the game tonight?”

Mat nods, earning another chorus of whistles. He rolls his eyes as he tosses his gloves and practice jersey in the bin, ignoring the no pre-game sex jokes (“Can’t play 3 periods if you’ve already played one in the sheets”).

“If she’s not your girl, I’m definitely gonna make a move, then.”

“Fuck off, Dobber.”

—

Aurora arrives home from the interview to find a jersey folded on the bed, along with a handwritten note–thought you might want to have something to rep the home team. She sends back a text to Mat to thank him and respond to his inquiry about the interview before setting off to change and make her way to UBS.

The game is disappointing, if you’re an Islanders fan. But while Aurora is sporting the blue and orange jersey, she’s waiting excitedly for a Nashville Predator to meet her in the designated area Mat directed her to.

When he rounds the corner, hair still wet from his shower, she runs up to him and leaps into his arms. Dante grins as he embraces her in a tight hug. “Feel stupid now for wearing the wrong colors tonight, huh?”

“I have to support my host,” she says with an eye roll.

The host in question appears as if he’s been summoned, moving to hug his old friend, but not before his eyes drag over the 13 on Aurora’s arm. The three of them together just feels right, the dynamic shifted—but complete.

Once they’ve been seated at a high top in a bar in Rockville Centre, Dante turns to Aurora. “‘Ror, how was the interview?”

“It went great,” she grins, accepting the fist bump Dante offers her. “I aced the coding exercise.”

“You’re such a badass. I picture you like one of those hackers in the movies.”

Aurora snorts, shaking her head. She thanks the waiter who places her drink in front of her. “It’s not really like that, but thanks.”

Conversation flows easily amongst the trio–only one comment from Dante razzing Mat for the 4-1 loss–and eventually the food arrives, along with another round of drinks.

“So… you really gonna join us and become a Yank?” Dante probes over his meal.

“To be honest, I don’t even know if I’d accept it,” she says quietly. Mat watches the way her lip disappears between her teeth as she contemplates; he doesn’t envy the gargantuan decision that lies ahead of her. “It’s a big move to make.”

As dense as he knows he can sometimes be, Mat recognizes this as a pivotal opportunity for him to share his own experience moving across the continent. He doesn’t have much in the way of advice, the distance something he just grew accustomed to in time, but he knows what it’s like; feeling the divide between him and the rest of his life like a bruise that won’t quite heal, the precious few-hour window where phone calls and texts make 5,000 kilometers feel like 10.

In so many words, he tells her so, aided by Dante’s supporting murmurs in a rare serious moment. Aurora absorbs it, if nothing else, comforted by the fact that they understand—kind of. It’s a little different moving cross-continent when you’re going to make millions of dollars, but money certainly doesn’t make the distance less of a burden to carry.

“FaceTime is your best friend,” Dante says, and Mat nods in agreement.

“Oh, is that why I get one FaceTime from you every two months?” she sticks her tongue out at Dante. Mat makes a mental note to FaceTime her more often. If she moves to New York, he won’t have to.

“No, that’s ‘cause you’re not my best friend,” Dante jokes, and Aurora scoffs playfully, eyes rolled in annoyance.

Sensing the end of the semi-serious moment, Mat stands up. “Gotta rock a piss.”

“Charming, Barz.”

Dante watches Mat’s retreating figure, eyeing the brown locks until they disappear down the hallway toward the restrooms. His gaze moves to Aurora’s, lowering his head conspiratorially. “Is something happening?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You two. You seem… different.”

Aurora’s eyebrows raise. “Different how?”

“Just… different,” Dante shrugs, then takes another swig of his drink. “It’s not like everyone doesn’t know you’ve been in love with each other forever.”

Jaw dropping in shock, Aurora feels her face suddenly get very hot. “That’s not true!”

“Oh, I didn’t realize we were still in denial,” he says, feigning self-defense and fighting a smile. “My bad. I’ll go back to trying to ignore the way you googly eyes each other.”

“I do not make googly eyes at him!”

“Man, ‘Ror, that acceptance is really buried deep down in there, huh?” Dante grins, dodging the french fry she launches in his direction. Then, he’s back to serious—kind of. “I know it’s a big leap to take when you’ve been friends for so long, but you haven’t been subjected to seeing the way you look at each other. I wish you’d just make out already. It’s disgusting.”

Aurora doesn’t have the heart to tell him they’ve already done far more than make out—multiple times—and part of her is relieved that Mat never divulged that information to his best friend despite every opportunity to. This way, it’s their little secret, something for just the two of them to have.

Mat’s return effectively ends the conversation. They pay their tabs—Aurora ignores Dante’s pointed look when Mat picks hers up without a word—and make their way to the next bar.

Several hours and far too many Palomas later, Mat unlocks the door to his apartment. He struggles slightly under the stumbling weight of Aurora, who’s latched onto him as she drunkenly giggles. He’s not much better off, but the Uber ride sobered him up enough to think to order DoorDash, conveniently arriving a few minutes after they get in the door.

Coaxing her to eat is a bit of a struggle, but he finally manages to get her into a barstool, munching contentedly on chicken tenders.

“C’mon, ‘Ror,” he murmurs once he sees she isn’t going to finish the third tender. He wraps an arm around her waist, helping her out of the seat to stand her up. “Let’s get you to bed, yeah?”

“Carry me!”

Without any additional warning, she’s leaping into his arms. Mat lets out an oof but manages to secure her in his arms as he carries her to the guest bedroom. When he places her on the mattress, her legs don’t untangle from his waist, and Mat feels the near instant pulse in his groin. Aurora’s eyes are closed, but her hips move, subtly, and he allows himself to revel in the feeling of her brushing against him. It doesn’t take long for his dick to become hard as steel, aided massively by the soft, sleepy whimpers that leave Aurora’s throat.

“Matty,” she whispers, hands seeking out the dips in his biceps.

Mat wants nothing more than to throw caution to the wind and devour her like he’s been aching to from the moment he saw a glimpse of her in a towel coming out of the shower this morning. He’s got just enough booze in his system to cloud his judgment, hand trailing up her side and savoring the warmth of her body against his palm. His dick twitches in his pants when he glides a hand over Aurora’s breast, yearning to tug the cups of that stupidly sexy corset down to repeat his fantasy.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he summons every single ounce of self-restraint left in his body and tears himself away from her tempting frame. Much to his chagrin, Aurora lets out the most devastating, disappointed mewl and Mat swears he can feel his heart (and dick) shatter at the sound.

“‘Ror,” he whispers. “We can’t.”

“Why not? S’not like we’ve never… done it before,” she slurs, reaching to run her hands across his pecs. He indulges in the feeling for just a brief moment, his resolve fleeting with every second.

“Not like this.”

“Y-you—” she hiccups, then frowns when he gently takes her hands off of him, “—you don’t… want me.”

“No,” Mat says quickly. He’s pretty sure she won’t remember in the morning, but if she does, he wants her to remember this. “I do. But I don’t want it to be like this.”

“Only wore this so you’d take it off,” she murmurs, and Mat groans, the devil on his shoulder whispering very strong reasons why he should give into temptation.

Ultimately, the good guy in him wins the battle, ignoring the throbbing of his dick when he helps Aurora to shimmy off her skintight leather pants. He does his best to avoid staring at the flimsy scrap of fabric between her thighs and pretends not to notice how little it covers. Her body is almost entirely dead weight as he tries to figure out how to remove her corset, eventually tugging it over her head; her breasts fall free, and he chokes on his own spit as he desperately looks around for something to cover her with.

Dashing to his room, he grabs a t-shirt—only a little bit intentionally selecting an Islanders tee in order to see her wearing his colors again; on his way back, he pours a glass of water and grabs a bottle of Advil from the bathroom. When he returns, Aurora’s breathing is heavy and she’s lying in the same position he left her in, finally asleep.

Mat places the water on the nightstand, then notices her phone and plugs it into the charger. Gently, he slides the t-shirt over her head and maneuvers her arms through the sleeves, then situates her and tucks her in before pulling the blanket up to her chin. With a kiss on her forehead, Mat quietly steps back to return to his room, ready to palm himself off, the image of her tiny panties and her tits seared into his brain.

Just before he shuts the door, he hears a quiet whisper of his name, a soft Matty in the darkness. He pauses, waiting for her to speak again.

“Stay.”

Something in her voice makes his heart ache. He stands, frozen in place, hesitant to return to her; afraid that he won’t have the willpower to resist her if she makes a move again. Like an unruly stepchild, his dick throbs as he adjusts himself.

“Please?”

Her voice is so sweet, he can’t help himself. His feet move of their own accord, back to the bed before he’s crawling under the covers beside her. Aurora’s arm immediately wraps around his stomach, snuggling into the crook of his shoulder. As he listens to her dozing off, Mat pretends it’s the alcohol that blankets his heart with warmth and not the girl sleeping soundly in his arms.

—

Bright light wakes her first. There’s a few, beautiful seconds of peace before the throbbing begins.

Aurora groans loudly, hand flying to shield her eyes. Timidly, she stretches her legs out slowly, to avoid the wave of searing pain through her skull. She has a memory of Mat’s hands touching her, dragging their way up her body, but she can’t decide if that was real or just a dream. Judging by the empty space next to her in bed, she assumes it was a dream.

She gropes for her phone on the bedside table—thankful that she had the foresight to plug in her phone in her inebriated state—and opens Instagram. Dante’s green Close Friends story bubble is one of the first she sees. The video that lies within makes her groan: it’s Aurora, illuminated by the dim, disco lights of the bar they ended up at in Rockville Centre, making an absolute fool of herself dancing. If you can even call it dancing. It’s more like a series of unhinged, discombobulated movements that barely follow the pulse of the music playing over the speakers.

But Mat Barzal is in the background, watching her like she put the stars in the sky. His eyes are warm, and the smile on his face is soft, relaxed; a look of adoration. Of love.

[Gina:] Are you going to tell me what’s going on with you and Mat? [Gina:] Dude is looking at you like you just birthed his firstborn on Dante’s story [Gina:] Wait, he didn’t knock you up, did he?

Aurora snorts at the texts from her pseudo-sister.

[Aurora:] Funny enough, your brother asked me the same thing [Aurora:] And no, he did not knock me up [Gina:] Still waiting on the answer to my first question

Aurora is halfway through typing a message (“I’ll call you when I get home”) when she hears the front door open and close. A few seconds later, there’s a gentle knock at the door before a messy-haired Mat pokes his head in. “G’morning, sunshine.”

She groans, throwing the blanket over her head in an attempt to shield herself. “Can you stop yelling?”

He laughs, and though it’s lovely, the sound pierces her brain with a fiery stake. “So you don’t want me to tell you there’s bagels in the kitchen?”

Aurora peeks her head out from under the comforter. “Bagels, you say?”

“Bagel sandwiches,” he corrects. “Best on Long Island.”

Contemplating for a moment, Aurora glances at the glass of water on the nightstand, along with the two Advil sitting by it. He must have put them there this morning. She downs then, throws on a sweatshirt, and trudges into the kitchen behind Mat.

Aurora is convinced the bagel sandwiches have magic in them, reinvigorating her brain and hitting just the right spot. The two of them chew in silence for a while, Mat choosing to give her a few minutes to come back to life.

When he senses the medication might have kicked in, he speaks, slowly. He isn’t sure why he’s feeling so nervous. “Are you sure you have to go back today?”

She laughs and nods. “Sadly, I do have to get back to my actual job that I haven’t quit yet.”

“Just saying, you can come and be my roommate–free of charge. You just gotta do the dishes and help with a little laundry.”

Aurora’s eyebrow raises, taking a long sip of the hot mug of coffee he’d placed in front of her ten minutes ago. “So you want a live-in maid?”

“Well, when you say it like that…” Mat trails off with a laugh. “Really though. When are you supposed to hear back?”

“They just said in a couple weeks,” she shrugs. Only a few more weeks before life could change forever.

Something in their goodbye is different; a little bit timid, maybe even hesitant, but neither call it to attention. Mat gives her a squeeze in the departures lane, wishing her a safe flight, and Aurora promises to keep him updated on the job.

He watches her slip between the sliding doors, watching her figure retreat until he can’t see her anymore.

January 2023 — Vancouver, British Columbia

Aurora huffs, blowing the hair out of her eyes as she concentrates on her phone in her hand. She types, deletes, then re-types her message.

I got the job.

Her finger hovers over the button to send, heart pounding. She doesn’t know why she’s nervous, not exactly, but she knows there’s a lot of weight behind those four words, knows that they have the potential to change everything. For her. For him. Everything.

[Mat:] Congratulations! Told you you’d kill it. 😊

The text is followed by a gif of Buddy the Elf, and Aurora almost snorts at the stupidity of it. She takes a breath, almost… disappointed? If nothing else, she was expecting a bit more excitement, more fanfare.

Aurora presses down on the message and gives it a thumbs up.

Three hours later, she’s on the phone with Gina, gushing over the excitement of her job offer. She hasn’t even accepted it, but she’s still wistfully dreaming of how she might decorate her Manhattan apartment, anticipating the charm—among other things—of being in the greatest city in the world.

Gina senses Aurora’s hesitation before she even says anything. “But…”

“…but if I go, I’m pretty sure I’m going to get my heart broken.” She can hear Gina contemplating on the other line, probably debating how to deliver her latest blow of hard-hitting advice.

Gina’s next sentence is quiet, but confident. “You just need to talk to him, ‘Ror.”

“I know.”

Aurora’s phone buzzes, but it isn’t until she gets off the phone with Gina a few minutes later that she sees the second text appear on her screen.

[Mat:] so, we gonna do this? [Aurora:] do what?

She watches the text bubbles appear, then disappear. The seconds feel like an eternity before a FaceTime call is popping up, a photo of 17-year-old Mat with upside down sunglasses on. Sliding to answer, she’s greeted by the sight of Mat, arm resting behind his head, silver chain peeking out of the hem of his white t-shirt. His hair is ruffled, and he’s looking at the camera with a knowing smirk.

“You and me,” he says simply. It takes Aurora a few moments to realize he’s responding to her text—and a few more before she realizes what he’s saying.

“You–are you—what?”

“You know, give it the old college try.” He offers a cheeky shrug of his shoulders, a flash of his charming smile.

“Mat, are you asking me out?”

“Were you expecting a grand proposal with roses and champagne?”

She ignores his snigger, too frenzied to acknowledge his sarcastic quip. Instead, she opts to get to the real question she has burning a hole in her chest. “Where is this coming from?”

“I’ve been waiting for a chance with you since we were 15, ‘Rora. Jus’ never had one ‘til right now.”

Aurora’s jaw drops, words completely absent from her brain. This was everything she’d wanted to hear for the better part of a decade, and here he is, as casual as if he was asking her to pass the salt at the dinner table.

Mat’s waiting for a response, so she shakes off the surprise and does her best to gather her composure. She isn’t sure what to feel: elated, irritated, and skeptical, and everything in between. “And you never thought to tell me you felt this way?”

He shrugs. “Jus’ did, didn’t I?”

Aurora resists the laugh at the simplicity of his Boy Brain. “Mathew Michael Paul Barzal, if you are fucking with me and this is some shit idea of a joke—”

“Why would I joke about something like that?” he says, then a glint takes over in his eyes. “I would like to be fucking you, though.”

An exasperated sigh leaves her throat, though she begrudgingly notes the way her stomach flips at his statement. “Can you not do—that—for five minutes, please? This is a lot of information to take in.”

Mat hums an apology, not really sorry. He watches the way she puts her phone down, his view now the slowly spinning ceiling fan in her apartment bedroom. He can hear the sigh, the sound of her feet padding slowly on the hardwood floor–pacing.

“I’m serious, Aurora.” He announces it out, loudly, maybe a little more formally than he expected.

Her forehead peeks over the camera, frizzy, unstyled post-shower waves falling over her face. “Fuck, Mat.”

“You could come live with me in Garden City,” he says. “Take the subway in on the days you go into work. Could set up an office for you in the den.”

“Mat, I’m not fucking moving in with you when I don’t even know what this is,” she says, exasperated, ignoring the thought he’s clearly put into it all. She hears the words he’s saying, but after almost a decade of missed connections, crushed hopes, and mixed messages, she’s hesitant to really take them to heart. It’s a defense mechanism, not willing to trust him even though she’s pretty sure he’s serious. “Do you realize how insane you sound?”

“M’not,” he says, shakes his head for emphasis. “It’s always been you, Ror.”

At that, Aurora has to sit down, the weight of the words smacking her clean in the chest. She can feel the magic, the warmth, the fuzzies enveloping her heart, ready to soar into the clouds at what he’s saying. At the same time, she’s confused, uncertain, maybe a little angry. More frustrated than mad, really, but she knows she deserves an explanation all the same.

“Why haven’t you said anything this entire time? It’s been years, Mat. I’ve loved you since we were fifteen—waiting this whole time to hear you say this, to give me any fucking clue that maybe you felt the same way.”

He looks like a puppy who has been scolded for destroying a roll of toilet paper. Then, “You think I don’t want to be with you?”

“You never gave a sign. You never even acknowledged what happened between us.”

It’s the first sign of any remorse when Mat sighs, his eyes cast down from the camera. “I—I thought it was casual. We’ve lived so far apart I just thought—”

“—thought it wasn’t worth it?”

“No,” he says quickly, looking up to meet her gaze. “I thought you wouldn’t want to do it. The distance.”

“Thought you regretted it,” she admits. Her voice is so quiet Mat barely hears it.

“Regret sleeping with the girl I’ve been in love with since I was in high school? Yeah, okay,” he snorts. “My only regret is that we haven’t been doing it all this time.”

Aurora hums, overwhelmed by his confession—if you can call it that—and the influx of feelings that have inundated her chest. What he’s saying makes sense, in a twisted, boy-math kind of way.

“What does being—” she swallows the word girlfriend like a disgusting cough syrup. “—together look like?”

“Whatever you want it to look like.”

“What do you want it to look like?”

Mat hums. He thinks, envisions what calling Aurora his girl—for real, not just when he’s getting razzed by his teammates–would look like. A picture of waking up with her in his arms, sleepy and smiling. Eating takeout on the couch, her feet in his lap, sporting one of his t-shirts while they catch up on Succession. Seeing her in the stands at UBS, wearing his number on her back. Laughter, comfort, happiness. Home.

In other words, the entire weekend he spent with her.

“Don’t say something stupid like, ‘unlimited sex’,” she adds, the dreamy smile on his face alerting her to the idea that some of his thoughts may, perhaps, be unsavory.

“Wasn’t gonna,” he replies, “but now that you mention it…”

“I’m going to hang up.”

“I’m just joking, ‘Ror. I mean, don’t get me wrong, that would be top of my list. But you gotta know that you’re way more to me than just great tits and a fat ass.”

“Mat!”

“Okay, okay, sorry,” he says, holding a hand up as if to defend himself from her scathing tone. Aurora’s eyes roll and she scoffs, though Mat swears he sees the corner of her lip turn up just slightly. “I’d… want it to look exactly like this.”

Aurora blinks, not expecting such a simple answer—not that she had any idea of what to expect out of his mouth, ever. The concept that they’re already there, minus the labels, is… overwhelming. A little bit unnerving, because everything that flicks through her mind just feels like more and more evidence that he’s right. Dante, Gina, everyone else saw it—she’d just been blind to it the whole time.

“So,” he says slowly, afraid to pop her thought bubble. “What d’you say?”

“Wish you were here and not on FaceTime,” she mumbles, embarrassed at the vulnerability that slips out.

“I’ll get a flight to Vancouver right now, if it helps.”

Aurora smiles melancholy, and it tastes bittersweet. She knows he’s serious, would be by her side as soon as humanly possible, if she asked. But she also knows his influence will only sway her in one direction, and she needs to make sure she’s making an unbiased decision.

“Ror?”

“I–I need some space, okay?”

“I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

—

The next week is a blur, a mess of emotions and running through the same scenarios in her head over and over again. Aurora sits at the countertop on FaceTime with Gina, dissecting the options for what feels like the thousandth time.

“I don’t know what he doesn’t understand about space but this sure isn’t it,�� she says, glancing at the bouquet of flowers sitting in a pretty—and expensive—glass vase.

“I think it’s sweet,” Gina insists. “Besides, we all know he isn’t the smartest.”

“It feels like he’s pressuring me, Gin,” Aurora says.

Gina rolls her eyes. “So he wants to show you he cares after years of burying his feelings. Sue the guy, why don’t you?”

Dusting a crumb off of the kitchen counter, scrolling through the relocation document TekStack had sent her along with her offer, Aurora sighs. Gina’s right; other than the flowers, he’d cooled it on everything else, and she missed it—the stupid memes, the goofy texts, the random (and gross) Snapchat series of him peeing in different cities. Missed him.

“Can’t wait to visit you. Keep the sex to a minimum while I’m in the guest bedroom, ‘kay?”

“Shut up!”

February 2023 — New York, New York

Mat fidgets, wiping his hands on his sides before glancing at his watch for the 16th time in five minutes. 3:17pm. Any minute now.

When he sees her coming down the catwalk, he doesn’t think twice; his strides quicken, along with the tick of his heart, and his fingers itch in anticipation. When he reaches her, he ignores the look of surprise on her face, hands cupping her jaw and pulling her mouth to his in a kiss that takes her breath away.

“I love you,” he says breathlessly when she pulls away, an expression of pure shock on her face. “Should’ve been telling you that for years. Please, please, please be mine. For real.”

The corners of Aurora’s lips twitch before they curl into a smile, and Mat has to resist the urge to kiss her again before she can even answer.

“Thought you said you weren’t gonna do an elaborate proposal,” she says with a laugh.

“Would, if that’s what it took,” he mumbles. He knows he’s being a simp, but he’s not missing this chance now that it’s right in front of him, so close he can taste it—literally. Her chapstick lingers on his lips, subtle but enough that he knows it’s all her.

“Lucky for you, Barzy, I think an airport love confession is the perfect amount of elaborate.”