#toot fart omg

[turnin9pag3]

Marauders as things me and my friends have said:

Part 25

Sirius: “not to toot my own horn” AH i hate when old people say stuff like that like SHUT UPPPP “son of a biscuit eater” like i will actually like actually elder abuse u right now dont playyy oh my godddd

Remus: i hate old ppl like bruh youre molding dont look at me like that

Sirius: i hate them too when they like wink at u or smth like i always be getting dirty looks from old ppl LIKE SORRY THAT UR SOGGY OMG people never get what i mean when i say that like soggy saggy same thing. no but theyre litterly so gross like sorry that theres shit in your diaper and im hot and young you could lick my balls you old grandma you old fart GOD

[c00kietin]

@ghosty-0w0 AND MANY MORE OF MY MOOTS AND FOLLOWERS!

EVEN IF YOU AREN'T A FOLLOWER OF MINE,

Settle down with me, dear friends, and let me tell you the tale of:

THE OWL WHO COULDN'T SLEEP by 7/8 year old me :D

HEADS UP! Fart jokes (I hate them) and I copied some concepts from other medias lol

And that is the end. :')

Alas, if you couldn't read my handwriting (which is perfectly understandable), I shall type it for you, errors and all:

Once there was a Lovley forest called Leafcottage. There lived cute animals that loved to climb and run aroud. One day, the animals and the birds came together for a great festival. There was a Owl there called Hoot Hoot. He Was at the candfloss stand. He just Can't resist the rainbow flavour. While he was about to sit down, A wasp called Rocko Was flying side to side on his chair. When Hoot Hoot was sitting down, He felt something.

"OOOOOOOCCCCCHHH!" Hoot Hoot shouted. Hoot Hoot jumped up so high he nearly went to space. "What's the raket!?" Glowie said. "Glowie, a million Pardons," Said Hoot Hoot. "But I did'nt toot," Glowie replied in a truthful way. "I don't mean that" Hoot Hoot said. (I forgot, Glowie is a Glow Worm). "What's the Big Bum!" Shouted Rocko. That nearly Made Hoot Hoot Jump.

"That hurt's really badly" cried Hoot-hoot. When they finished the talk, it was soon Midnight. They Saw two glowing eyes. It was Claws the tiger. "You should be in Bed!" she shouted. They stomped away (exept Hoot-Hoot, He flew away). When He saw the Sign "Home Sweet Home", He karate-kicked it. "Silly Rocko, little eejit!" He thought.

Now this time, Since He was So angry, He Did'nt have any Dinner! Hoot-Hoot Stomped up the stiars Moodly. He farted so loud that the Whole town Smelled it too! [I cringed while typing that sentence] "Pooh ee!" Bertha the Bat Said. She flew over and shouted: CAN YOU STOP FARTING! (it is in Big capital letters Because she shouted). Hoot-Hoot did not listen, But stopped.

Talking in picture: "OMG He smells!" "Eww!" "Pee ew!" "That is even smellyier than me!"

"You need to sleep" Bertha said. "But I Just can't, There are Cupcake Wasp's flying around my Head." Oh No!

Talking in picture: "OMG means "Oh my God" cool right?"

"Like that one?" asked Bertha. "Yeah" answerd Hoot-Hoot. So Bertha Called a Yoga teacher, Mr M (Moose) and Music Players. "This Will ease your pain and calm you down" Mr Moose said.

"Ok!" Hoot-Hoot yawned, He farted agian. Claws watched. Oh no!

Talking in picture: "t-shirts can Be any colour. cool right?"

No! Lets go back to the story. "So where are we?" asked Hoot-hoot. "in the garden of William shakeshpere" Mr moose replied. "Hey, I was weeing here!!" A dog said. "forget him." Mr Moose said. The sun rose shine at dawn. Mr Moose had enough. He had a can of Beans. But they Were evil Beans. this is what they siad: Evil Beans: "Mwa Ha Ha!" Cupcake Wasp: "these are scary! Cool right?"

"I quit," A music player said. then everyone Did. Exept Bertha and Claw's. "Wait, you can say sorry!" said Claws. Hoot-Hoot heard every single Word she said. "Do not even think about singing a song!" he laghed. They went to Rocko's home. They knocked quietly. Rocko came out, Holding a cup of tea.

"You disturbed my Episode 159, but yes?" Rocko asked. "Well, I'm sorry that I was angry" Hoot-Hoot replied. "I fixed up your sign" said Roko. "YaY!" Hoot-Hoot said. Soon they were frenids. What about Glowie? He's on Mount Everest.

The End!

[downforthegas]

Which lesbo fart porn do you like? Is there any that you watch over again?

There's honestly so many, it's not even funny.

I like these two long Selena Loca compilations, one of which has her naked, playfully dancing around while farting constantly, and another that has her pants halfway down and omg you can see her cheeks rippling when she farts like in a cartoon (its really fucking good) and omg there's some of her farting in the bathtub and ripping long farts in her underwear/naked

Then there's a comp of Jenna Kitten farting in red, lacy underwear (lacy underwear, my beloved), and sometimes she pulls them down halfway (uuuggggghhhhhh!!!!!!) and FUCKING BLASTS THESE REALLY GOOD BASSY FARTS THROUGH HER FAT CHEEKS OMG holy shit its great

along with bassy farts, I also really like this one by Emma Ink where she's wearing a really short, white dress and she's ripping these really long, long, long farts through her naked cheeks, like dude, they're barely even 10 seconds apart and she'll rip one 30 second blast after another like she's just constantly churning gas.

Then there's this one where this woman (i think her name is Mandy) where she spreads her cheeks in front of the camera and keeps ripping small toots back to back and ends it with a loud, airy fart, and she's so playful and confident about it

Then there's LoveRachelle (HOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOY!) NO MATTER WHAT VID IT IS, ITS GONNA MAKE ME CUM! Seriously she's gotta be my favorite, and sometimes she even farts so hard and long she sharts herself. Her gas is so loud and explosive. My fave one is her lying on her stomach and reading while farting, and the one with her ripping wet farts while sitting with just underwear.

Oh and Natasha F is really good cause all her farts are sbds (which are sooooo fucking hot) and she had one of her farting after eating chili dogs and omg her first fart is just a large, quiet gust of wind from her ass omfg you even see her asshole open up before releasing that

But that was just the solo stuff. lets get on to the girl on girl

there's one of these two women (i think one is just called Queen of Farts) and they're both wearing black tank tops and skin colored pantyhose while blasting these really gross, rank farts. THEY EVEN PUT THEIR ASSES TOGETHER AND FART! Those are SOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking good. I LOVE seeing that in fart porn. I've seen plenty of that stuff on twitter

Then there's two of this ssbbw sitting on the face of a skinny girl and totally dominating her with her gas. The farts are small, but the reactions she gets out of the skinny girl are really what gets me. I wish i remembered the names of the women though. i think one of them is names Kasey or Kelsey

There's also a lot of fart audios I like, but there's soooooooooooo many there, I'd rather not waste more time listing them all. Thanks for asking though

[allcrush]

omg yeah i heard that tall peoples farts smells like HUGE something i dont know but yeah

im gn toot on u

[trashmouth-richie]

I was looking for though a eddie tag and I didn’t know anything ab your fics so when u got a ask asking if he felt anything for tootie Below the belt thought y’all were talking ab him farting n tooting up the place I got so scared omg

HAHA noooo Tooty is a nickname for y/n in my Honey, I’m Home series. The reasoning behind it will be revealed in the last chapter 😉

[fartenjoyer]

This isn't exactly an ask, just gonna talk about it:

So last night, I was pretty bloated, so full of gas. I literally examined myself in the mirror and found that my belly had grown rounder and larger in shape. Felt the gas churning and gurgling around in my intestines, then when I felt the gas coming I held it in for a while, before rubbing my belly and suddenly three bursts of super loud gas erupt right out. A few minutes later I felt some uncomfortable stuck gas, so I laid on my belly and opened up my legs, and farted two more loud eruptions accompanied by a few little toots soon after. Not to mention it was the middle of the night so I was sleepy, when I woke up the next morning my belly was all flat again (I'm quite sure I had been farting excessively in my sleep that night). Those massive fart explosions made my belly deflate instantly. Just somethin' to feed the desire of a farting and bloating description, did I describe it well?

Omg sorry for responding so late, but this is great 😍😍😍 sounds sooo relieving I love big bunches of gas like that! I think tje description was just fine, though to be fair I'm nit much of a writer haha

[shoyostar]

omg i— (farts) omg . . . i (farts) hai bee (farts) oh my god what did u have for— (farts) breakfast ??? errrr aiiii u knoooooo (farts so hard) er . . . (toots a little. . .) erm

[spywitch]

“Its been a year I still haven’t farted around my bf” “omg me either its been 5 years” HUH????? Like girl its a normal bodily function, how are u even spending actual time with ur bf if ur able to suppress it that long? You know he’s probably heard you fart in your sleep right? Like wow misogyny and the standards women hold themselves to are a hell of a drug. That man has probably seen your asshole, maybe even been in it, and he probably doesn’t wash his own… its not a big deal if he hears a little toot.