#too scared to post this in the discord
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fool’s gold sketches. i know xanu doesn’t actually have a line on his neck (not canonically at least) but i saw it in a few frames and it just seemed to fit. 2nd drawing based off of the reference that dingo made where vicky was standing next to xanu because i thought it was lowkey funny. don’t look at the drawing for too long tho cuz i made it at midnight. also sips looks like the monkey king and i don’t know how to not make him look like that so apologies.
#fools gold#dingo doodles#xanu#xanu fools gold#vicky fools gold#sips fools gold#sorry to the people who only like my endoparasitic content#anyone who watches/watched fools gold share ur headcanons and stuff#dnd art#i could talk about these characters for hours#too scared to post this in the discord#fools gold dnd#edit: these are old and gross don’t look at them plz
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Idk if this is a good time for it but I've been working on a queer fantasy story for over a year now. Sapphic romance. Brown trans enby lead. Resistance against a fascist empire. Y'know. Standard stuff.
Haven't got all the kinks worked out, need to smooth some things out in this round of edits and get back to making progress but like. Yeah. This is coming, eventually.
a handful of quotes below the cut
Thus the Empire of Light began. It was an era known for peace, its birth marked by blood and slaughter. Peace reigned as the Emperor demanded it, his word made law through fear and bloodshed when his propaganda was insufficient. It was not to last.
A thrill raced through my body at her touch, the whisper of her breath on my palm. “Yes,” I promised. “I’ll see you then.” On impulse, I pulled away, dropped to the ground to find the fallen rose. There, it wasn't even squished. I offered it to her with my best attempt at a charming look, extending my arm like a storybook prince. “Til then, take this.
“She’s scared,” Fionnuala said frankly. “Her heart’s been broken before and she’s scared to let it happen again.”
“Hope you don’t mind,” Vida mumbled in my ear, sounding more than half asleep. I snuggled into her and fell asleep with a smile on my lips.
Another sigh, sounding almost as if she were bracing for something. “Love, look. Feelings, the deep ones, they’re hard for me. I don’t know that I’ve ever had anything more lasting than a passing fancy, and you–” Her voice cracked. “You deserve better.” “You already said you want to be friends, you don’t need to explain that twice.” “No– love, listen.” Vida’s hand caught my chin as she leaned over me. “What I’m trying to say is, I’d like to try, if you still want to.”
“How can you laugh?” Fiachra teased. “Da’s got no idea what to do with another boy around! He’ll be so lost.”
Wasn't I… well, traitorous was the only word I could think of. I'd practiced magic without a license, and whether I was a girl in love with a girl, or a boy who'd been born a girl… or, maybe, neither… what I wasn't was the good daughter I was supposed to be. Maybe I was a shadow too.
Ceri’s dark eyes reminded me of an inquisitive beetle I’d found on the edge of the water bucket when I was a girl. It hadn’t meant to be any trouble, it had just been there. I’d watched it, entranced by its shining black carapace, until my mother came to see what was taking me so long. She’d screamed and slammed the bucket to the ground upside down, killing the beetle and causing me to burst into tears. Later, she’d said she was only scared.
“That’s entirely fair. Are you ready?” A bubble of laughter squeezed its way up. “No. Do it.”
“That’s politics, Shadow. One aspect of it, anyways. Changing the world, little by little.”
“Wasn’t there another way?” Ciaran was silent for a few seconds before he admitted, “Perhaps. Perhaps there was. But I still feel the world is no worse off for the loss of him, and I cannot find it in me to regret it.”
“Don’t you ever want to do something you’re not supposed to? Love the wrong way, be the wrong person, want the wrong things?”
**bonus mention to two scenes friends specifically liked that were a bit longer than I wanted for this, the "Would you love me if I were a worm?" "Yes but also please don't be a worm. ew" conversation, and the "hot" meeting scene where one character puts her finger on another's lips and says "I want you knowing you're in your right mind for this [kiss]"**
#and it consumes so much of my free time and brainpower#i fall asleep to these characters#i have outtakes and discord rambles and art and approximately two billion picrews#the main story is over 100k by now and has gone through a couple rounds of editing#and then i have upwards of 25k words of shorter things that didn't fit in the main story or aren't relevant yet#they are my comfort and my constant#and i want to share them so desperately#but i am also so scared#especially in the world we will be living in in two months#but destiny would fight#destiny DOES fight#so i have to too#i have to try in whatever ways i am able#which right now is really just this post but. baby steps. this story is a huge part of me and letting it out into the world is scary#queer#queer writers#trans#enby#sapphic
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torn between not being able to trust goyim to not be antisemitc anymore unless they really prove me otherwise and going "I guess we'll get along" when they find out I'm Israeli and still treat me like a human being
#like i don't really trust you but as long as we don't talk about politics and i don't follow you outside of discord we should be fine#that being said i don't really use discord as much or make new online friends anymore#because i'm too scared that they will bring up politics or won't treat me like a human being#i mostly use discord to vc with my irl friends now but there are still some online friends i'll talk to once in a while#i'm not very active in fandom spaces anymore because of the antisemitism so ig that's why i don't interact as much#needless to say i do not feel safe online anymore#i don't think being treated with basic human decency on the internet should be a privilege but here we are#it's fucked up but i'm israeli so i don't count and also deserve it#no it's not xenophobic at all what are you talking about. israelis are just all heartless monsters it's ok to bully them into paranoia.#maybe i'd post less about leftist antisemitism if i didn't constantly feel like i have to defend myself and drive leftist antisemites away#maybe i'd post more fandom stuff if i wasn't afraid of drawing attention#gee imagine that#leftist antisemitism#antisemitism#jumblr#israblr#hila has spoken
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i think i need like a prolonged break from my phone so i’m gonna Post one more small thang after reblog spam and then fuck off for a month
#hopefully#if you hafe my discord i’ll ptobably still be around i just like#need to fucking#do something else with my time idk#i’ll still be drawing meow!#maybe i’ll still be posting panels but idk i have like 70 sketched right now because i got too excited drawinf miko n chris#and now i’m scared
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This is for @curtwen-week! Day 3: Scars.
#spies are forever#curtwen#agent curt mega#owen carvour#tin can bros#tin can brothers#spies are forever fanart#I have a wip of Day 1 lying around maybe I’ll finish it by the end of the week#Super proud of those hands I’ve shared them with too many discord servers#I feel like there’s more I could say but also nothing left to say#I feel so scared posting my art for the first time even though it’s literally just hands#curtwen week
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z from favor
asdhgsjadasd i love them
#i went back on discord for the official group thingie but i am WAAAY too scared to post this in there 😭😭😭#maybe i will another day. or tonight. before i go to sleep so i don't have to acknowledge i did it. or never. that works too UGH ANXIETY..#favorvn#demon#fanart#also i thought doing it mostly grayscale would like. go faster. i was wrong#still took me an entire day#LOL
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*touches screen dramatically* v5 is almost here...
#Im a faker i havent caught up on the post game story at ALL i just know we all eat shit and die and some stuff happens in between there /hj#anyways i was gonna go to sleep then i saw that axez was literally updating the v5 section on the site as i was closing out discord so now#I have the zoomies or something#rahhhhhhhh i need to catch up on the story#I dont know if i have the energy right now with school and work to replay the whole game Again esp untranslated but i know enough to watch#someone else play it prabably#sig blinks now btw at least in the first two cutscenes which is mindblowing news /silly#axez animate my scenes too right meow /silly#the real answer is i need to get not scared enough to talk in the big m04 server but that's... perhaps i shant...#I just lurk like a little bug. a little bachi buggg. anyways#mutuals you should totally add me on discord i stole our hosts account we can be silly about numa game together /nf#status noir#🕶️ posting
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The heat is making me very tired, I've been drawing as much as I can but can't do much unfortunately:')
I also wanted to reopen my art sharing server to new people here but wanted to make a banner or something to advertise it in a post, not sure when that will be possible though... If you're interested in joining you can DM me and I'll send you a link
#im scared of attracting bots or trolls if i post the link directly#better safe than sorry#arti talks#discord server#we talk beyblade but the primary focus is still art!! its quiet too but im hoping to talk more in it and revive it maybe#anyway thats all bye now
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i do wish i was better at communicating with people online and through technology. i wander into conversations and make new ones all the time irl with random people and its fun but im like hyping myself to type out a single response to a Post. and to say nothing of how difficult it is to get me to say something in a discord server
#or even video or audio calls are becoming hard for me rn. i used to be better at this#i used to be sooo good at talking to people online. maybe. or maybe not actually#now that i think about it ive always been a little outside of everything in both irl and online communities ive been in#you know i was part of the mods for a deviantart species a long time ago. i was pretty bad at my job i was always too slow to actually mod#and one day i came home from school and like the entire modbase imploded because of drama on a discord or smth they had that i wasnt in LOL#tbh i was a bit older than all of them and busy with final year of highschool stuff so i wasnt super present. i think they just had me on#because while i wasnt particularly popular as an artist i did have some eyecatching polish on my art. but it was wild i was like#whats going on. who are you people. where am i. i have to apply to ouac rn i dont know whats happening#wait random ass deviantart drama i was vaguely adjacent to but still dont really know what happened aside. i would like to chat more#i think the easiest way to converse with me is commenting on my posts like theyre forum threads. or dming me. sometimes#im so bad with group chats. especially if they have multiple channels. the only group chat ive stuck with is a tiny one with like#two other friends and we just write thoughts and about our day and pictures of animals and whatever#i get confused and scared in discords. i get so confused and scared#i used to be okay with discord calls but even with that ive been struggling. am i scared of the computer#am i scared of the computer. the machine. whats happening
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i found this really old comic i made and never posted here?? there is a superb dearth of context i am aware but (chucks this in your general direction anyway)
(this was from an au based off a weird dream i had a while ago ??? it was like. they were normal human kids but they somehow got into this strange video game slash simulation or smth which SOUNDS like sburb but it was way different trust me. i wrote a ton abt it for months and then never thought about it again. n e ways.)
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#terezi pyrope#karkat vantas#kanaya maryam#tavros nitram#hs#i Guess#in hindsight these designs still freaking RULE#i was super super proud of this when i made it (almost a year ago now?? whoa) but so nervous to show anyone hjfsh#i shared it in a discord server with some of my friends and i was literally shaking + in tears etc etc. so i never posted it here kekw#ive gotten better with that stuff now tho !! i rlly want to share some of my new & old au ideas i was too scared to before because ive been#-looking back on some of the old ones and writing some new ones and they're kind of awesome#also i used to have suuuuch fun drawing these guys i should totally get back into doing that. i haven't drawn a homestuck troll in (checks-#-the tiny watch i wear on my wrist at all times) approximately 827462 days. hm. interesting#anyways :3 i don;t know if anyone will care abt this now but that's ok w me#aurie's art
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idk if this is me being a massive bitch on main or what but it is Annoying when the only replies ppl leave on art are like,,, haha funni jokes or "woah is that [funny character]?" (when it's obviously not [funny character]) especially when you've spent ages on something!!!! like obviously it's different if the art has a jokey element to it and u know what I do like being a bit Silly on main sometimes so I don't wanna sound too upright... but it is frustrating as hell when u post something that u spent ages on (and felt a bit scared sharing in the first place) and someone comes and replies w some random ass meme reference that's barely related????? like girl huh????
idk sorry i probs sound like that squilliam guy from spongebob and i don't wanna be snobby but I kinda think if u wanna leave a Funny Comment on art 1) maybe say something about the art itself too! 2) make it actually Funny? sorryyy for da rant. i just think maybe some ppl aren't familiar w artist comment etiquette or whatever
(not about tumblr ppl at all btw y'all are lovely and the tags you leave keep me drawing!! i just wanted to bitch on main! the lil space kicker is just there to be silly he's not relevant)
#remembering fondly how i posted smth id spent days on on discord#and some guy responded w some sort of vague ass meme reference that wasnt really relevant at all?#and even worse it kinda sounded lowkey like a threat ish if u didnt get the reference#art in question was some shippy stuff i drew too and was scared about sharing so it made it worseee#yeah sorry i dont want this to be a Drama Post or start anything i just wanna bitch#also hi max this is basically the same thing u posted about too yesterday and youve made me realised that Yeah! Im Annoyed By This Too!!!#so i wanted to make my own post
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should i start liveblogging my eda/vna reading sessions. would that be fun for anyone but me
#i already send reactions to discord servers that Do Not Care so it wouldnt be too much of a change#mostly im a bit embarrassed about Learning New Things In Public#if i dont look like i know everything about dr who on this blog ill die#there are so many posts i havent made because im scared of this. exposure therapy
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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I desperately need to befriend a Death Note fan irl who likes Death Note the way I do.. The only DN fans I've met irl are anime only Near haters :'(
#I NEED someone to shake while I rant to them about Death Note pls pls pls#I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO GIGGLE WITH WHILE WE STARE AT DEATH NOTE PANELS PLS PLS PLS#My sister has seen Death Note but she's not really into it + anime only + Near hater </3#It sucks to remember that the Death Note fandom isn't just my mutuals.. Some people genuinely hate Near :((#I LOVE the anime the animation is beautiful the soundtrack is beautiful and OOOOO THE COLOR CODING EEEE but#It butchered the 2nd half soo so badly and changed Near's personality and I'm not a fan of the ending :(#THE MANGA ENDING IS SOOO SO GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL#OMGGGG when Light admits to being Kira and gives them his speech and calls himself god of the new world AND EEEE NEAR SAYS “NO YOURE JUST A#MASS MURDERER“#LIKE EEEE THAT ALWAYS ALWAYS MAKES ME GIGGLE NEAR WAS SOOO SO COOL FOR THAT LIKE HE'S LITERALLY FACE TO FACE WITH KIRA THE GUY WHO KILLED L#And Near REPEATS IT. HE CALLS HIM “JUST A MURDERER” TWICE.#Sorry but the anime made Near so stupid “lol just let him run away it's not like he'll survive”#I love Near and Light's dynamic so much they're so funny. They have the prettiest panels too#Maybe an unpopular opinion but Near vs Light was wayyy more entertaining that L vs Light#And it hurts me to see people say that it should've ended at the 1st half. I know people can have their own opinions or whatever but THEYRE#WRONG!! DN is SOOO much better with the 2nd half + if it ended at L's death that would've sucked. So glad L died midway#I wish I had a friend I could talk about DN to :( I'll just hope one of my friends decide to watch it because idk how to make new friends#Discord servers scare me and while I love my mutuals if any of you tried to message me I think I'd cry out of nervousness lol#Gosh this is long shoukd I even post this
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guess who's finally drawing THE SAUCE
#the sauce: arthur and john kithing#ngl it's pretty suggestive#I want to draw Arthur in shirt garters.#sadi nauts pls forgive me faslkdfj;#it's still a sketch but **CLINKS KEYS TOGETHER** HEY HEY THE QUEERS ARE HERE#I got too scared to post the sketch on the discord 💀#privateeyes#jarthur#malevolent podcast#masked#my art
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drawing other people's dnd characters based on the image i made of them in my head and NOTHING ELSE because i'm evil
#my art#dnd oc#friend oc#bell#must stress again that this is entirely headcanon i doubt this is what he actually looks like LMAO#he keeps that mask on at all times so we have not seen his face and probably wont for a while#but my brain was like oh he's returned (undead) so like#what if he was a silly zombie lookin fucker who SLAYED. HARD#(i love how he turned out but i also. dont want to post it in the discord because i KNOW im so wrong about how he looks)#(and i didnt feel like asking ethan about it bc idk if he could really say yet)#(plus i really hate sending art to people specifically to ask for opinions ESPECIALLY of their own characters i get so scared)#(which is why i usually just draw my own characters lmao but i love my friends' characters so i wanted to try)#also something about it feels a bit unfinished? i didnt put a ton of effort into it since i really just made it for fun for me#i think his expression is just a bit flat but i didnt want to make it too exaggerated really so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also also sorry for long tags but this is slowly becoming an art blog isnt it LMAO#hope yall are cool with that i like having somewhere to post everything
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