#too many thoughts literally no one to share them with so they get dumped here for you to scroll past

[rafesbabyg1rl]

Hiii pretties! Welcome to my blog!! Please keep things positive and stay slutty my friends!!!

~If you have any requests, please feel free to leave it in my inbox!!!~

Seriously, I love getting requests and just hearing all your thoughts and theories! Please don't be nervous to interact with me! This is a safe space, I promise.

Masterlist:

The Watcher: Stalker!Rafe x Pogue!Reader (Part One, Part Two, Part Three...) Private Session: Stripper!Reader x obsessive!Rafe (Part One, Part Two , Part Three) Bsf!Rafe gets jealous: Innocent!Reader x Possessive!Rafe

you can read the rest if you wanna know more about me !!

Hello!! I'm Kat, or Kay, whatever you wanna call me. I'm literally just a girl. I am a freakkkk. I do be a bit of a stoner y'all, and I usually am high when I write, so if I make a mistake, I'm blaming that. I'm from the United States (unfortunately) and I only speak English. This is a safe place; I am always here if anyone wants to talk. I do not discriminate; I do not spread hate. I do not and will not tolerate hate or unkind behavior towards me or others here on my blog. Like seriously guys I have bad anxiety, so please be nice and don't make it harder for me.

This is pretty much solely for Outer Banks, Rafe Cameron to be more specific. But, feel free to talk to me about other things!

Other things I'm interested in/passionate about: Taylor Swift, 21 Savage, veterinary medicine, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, The Walking Dead, 13 Reasons Why, Supernatural, Jurassic Park/World, Harry Potter, The Maze Runner, The Hunger Games, comedy movies (Seth Rogen & James Franco), Dexter, etc. I love cold weather, books, and cats. Music is life and I listen to a little bit of everything so feel free to send songs.

I AM a student, so just keep in mind that I may be inactive because I’m in CLASS or doing work; because I will prioritize that over tumblr (well, i try). Other times I’m inactive because I am sleeping, or because I’m busy with LIFE. I am not tied to my tumblr and blog. I’ve had only positive experiences here so far, but I know that fanfic writers are often mistreated by readers, but guys we are all just people.

If you want me to hurry up and publish new work, don't tell me that, just interact with my blog and compliment my writing and that will motivate me more than anything else ever could. Also ASK AND REQUEST PLEASEEE!! I really enjoy and appreciate new ideas and feedback from other people's brains. I also appreciate constructive criticism. Don't be mean about it, but if you dislike or disagree with something, tell me politely. I like hearing feedback and am always working on improving my writing.

Seriously y'all, please please PLEASE do NOT be hateful. Do that on your own time, not here. I will not tolerate unnecessary attitude and hate. I believe in forgiveness, and I know that mistakes and misunderstandings happen. I will treat anyone and everyone with kindness and respect unless I have reason not to (really hoping I don't).

Who do I write for? I only write for Rafe Cameron. However, I'm not opposed to writing a little or sharing thoughts about other Outer Banks Characters!

What do I write? I will write literally almost anything. There’s no such thing as too much for me, so request away please. ------ As for darker topics, I will write them. Actually, a large portion of my work will include darker topics/themes/kinks, etc. I will write sensitive subjects too. But just because I live for that shit, doesn't mean everyone else does so I'll do my best to include warnings on all my work for any content that might potentially be triggering for others.

(Small warning: mentions of my mental struggles and self-destructive habits) I've always struggled mentally. I've always felt as though the way my brain works is different from everyone else; like something is wrong with me. But after many many years, I now have a better understanding of myself and how my brain works. Not to dump this on y'all, I swear I have a point, but I have diagnosed depression, anxiety, and ADHD. These things are all a big challenge I face in my day-to-day life and are often the leading cause of why I may take longer to write and publish things. I may take breaks, so don't worry if I'm not active, I will be back at some point. And I'll try my best to update you guys on when I'm gonna be less active or vice versa. Another way my mental health effects my writing is because when I write, a lot of the time my personal experiences or feelings will end up incorporated within my work, since well, it's all coming from my brain. I mostly write for myself to express my thoughts and feelings, having others read and actually enjoy my work is just an added bonus. But personally, I have struggled with self-harm for about one third of my life. I often get ideas for new works revolving around this theme and may publish things about it eventually. Themes such as mental illnesses, self-harm, abuse, insecurities, EDs, suicidal thoughts, unhealthy relationships (obv), toxic household, etc. will have a reoccurring appearance throughout my works. So just be prepared, I guess.

And like I said before, if anyone needs to talk, I am ALWAYS here and I am a very good listener.

Everyone is more than welcome to message me or leave anything in my inbox. Whether it's to chat, request something, ask something, literally whatever is welcome!! (Except hate I don't fw that)

Thank you for visiting my blog, I hope you enjoy! As always, be kind and stay slutty!

[kitty-tea]

The bad girl gets what she deserves

(Part 2)

Read part 1 here

(Link to masterlist)

I’m (probably) so sorry for making a part 2!🥺

UPDATE: I made a part three here

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x reader

NSFW 18+ Only! Graphic smut ahead!

Summary: After you congratulate Cedric on winning the Quidditch game, you both sneak into the library alone for a “study session” which leads to questions about if you’re ready for something more

A/N: I know the summary sucks I didn’t know how else to word it without giving the whole plot away.

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings/tags: SUPER cheesy dialogue, graphic smut, fluff, oral sex (f receiving), pet names, semi-public oral sex, rule-breaking, Cedric and reader are of age, teasing, sneaking around, making out, might contain typos

After what happened in the Prefects’ bathroom, you were too hyped for many reasons to be able to go to sleep. The biggest one was that you couldn’t get over the fact that you literally hooked up with Cedric Diggory, the Captain and the Seeker for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, who also happened to be one of the most popular students in the entire school and someone who would be playing against your house’s Quidditch team in the next match.

You both had gotten dressed quickly and brushed your teeth and hair after getting out of the water. You were too nervous to make conversation with him, and you assumed he was too. Carrying the pile of dirty clothes in your hands, you bid each other goodbye before making your way into the Slytherin common room.

Your friends were waiting to bombard you with questions in your shared dorm.

“Where have you been?”

“You disappeared after dinner!”

“How long were you showering for?”

“What were you doing at the Hufflepuff table at dinner?”

You ignored their questions as you dumped your dirty clothes next to your bed.

“I’m just tired.” You lied. “I just want to go to sleep.”

“Don’t forget it’s Hufflepuff vs. Slytherin tomorrow. Make sure you have enough energy to watch the game!” One of them exclaimed.

Oh, I’ll have more than enough energy. Especially for Cedric. You thought to yourself as you pulled the blanket over your face and smiled.

He was all you ever thought about in your sexual fantasies ever since your mind became capable of conjuring such images. Even more than that, you admired his personality, he was like a breath of fresh air compared to the boys in your house who thought they had a chance with you. A hard-working, humble, and honest person like him was definitely something that you’ve been lacking in your life lately.

You mentally congratulated yourself for finally working up the nerve to make those fantasies come true.

“Yeah, save your voice. You’ll be screaming for our team.” You heard your other friend’s voice through your blanket.

Not like how I was screaming for Cedric earlier. You weren’t going to share that thought with your friends.

Being the opposite sex, you didn’t know how to read Cedric like you did with your friends, so it made sense to you that he didn’t seem to be as open with his feelings as you were. He was a boy, and boys are taught to keep their emotions bottled up which you hated. While it was flattering that he kept commenting about how beautiful you were during your encounter, there was something else you wanted to ask about him that itched at the back of your mind.

As the Hufflepuff players zoomed across the Quidditch field, your eyes searched for a certain set of yellow robes. You didn’t bother cheering with your housemates as Lee Jordan announced the Slytherin team’s entrance.

The game had already commenced when the two Seekers whipped past the other players in search for the Golden Snitch. There were as many people cheering for Malfoy as there were for Cedric. The only difference was which side of the pitch you were on.

Despite the majority of Lee’s commentary focusing on the action between the Chasers and the Keepers, your eyes were drawn to the flurry of yellow and green that constantly flew up, down, and between them. Watching something so fast was like a thrilling little game in your mind for testing your focus.

You couldn’t take your eyes off the two Seekers. Everything else you saw and heard around you became like white noise to you.

A few goals from both teams later, Lee’s commentary returned to the two Seekers when a Bludger came for them thanks to the four Beaters, causing one of them to lose the near-grip they had on the Snitch.

You and the rest of the spectators had to crane your necks to get a view of what Cedric and Malfoy were doing.

What happened was that Crabbe or Goyle, you didn’t care to tell them apart from far away, was aiming the Bludger at Cedric, but hit Malfoy instead, nearly knocking him off his broom. This gave Cedric an opportunity to grab the Snitch. Just like that, he had won the match for Hufflepuff, earning a chorus of loud groans from the people next to you.

While you were looking forward to congratulating Cedric, you were dreading the complaining and bickering you would be hearing from your housemates for the rest of the day.

“You’re too stupid to play on the team, my father will hear about this!” You could already hear Malfoy’s annoying voice yelling inside your head.

It wasn’t hard to find Cedric at the after-match party in the Great Hall. He was surrounded by his teammates and his friends. All the players had gone to get changed into more comfortable clothes while everyone else was still in their uniforms. Your hair bounced behind you as you weaved through the crowd. You rolled your eyes at the bickering coming from the Slytherin team.

“That was a stupid move Goyle, you should’ve let Malfoy handle himself against Diggory then maybe he would’ve had enough time to catch the Snitch!” Came from Adrian Pucey.

“What was I supposed to do?!” Goyle argued back. “I was making myself useful by doing something!”

“Well, now you’re even more useless!” Pucey scoffed.

“Shut up, you lot! Do you want a teacher to hear us?” Terence Higgs shushed them with a finger to his mouth and loudly whispered, “I don’t want Madam Hooch to hear us fighting and suspend us from Quidditch!”

He had a point even if you didn’t care about their stupid infighting. If they did happen to get suspended from Quidditch, you would still have Cedric’s matches to look forward to.

Speaking of whom, you saw a perfect opportunity to get closer to him as his teammates went in and out of conversations with the rest of their house.

With his back to you, you got on your tiptoes and used your fingers to cover his eyes.

“Surprise.” You whispered into his ear, making him turn around and you let go of him.

“Oh, I didn’t see you there.” You thought the memories of last night must have been coming back to him as a blush crept up his cheeks.

“Of course you didn’t. Your back was turned to me.” You quipped, smiling at him. “That was quite a fight you put with Malfoy in the game.”

“I wouldn’t say I fought him, but I know what you mean.”

“I’ve got an idea.” You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and slid your palm up his chest. “How about we sneak away from here, just the two of us, and catch up on some studying at the library?” You eyed him from his lips to his eyes, hoping he’d catch on.

“S-Studying? Right now?” Oh, so that’s how he wanted to play.

“Come on, Cedric. You know I loved our study session last night. Even though it wasn’t at the library.” You smirked. You adored the flustered look he’d get on his face when you’d act flirty with him whether it’d be in your conversations or you just eye-fucking him from across the room.

“I guess I could use some studying. Where’s Madam Pince?”

“Don’t worry she’s over there talking with Snape.” You pointed across the room.

The whole school was too focused on their conversations with each other to notice you and Cedric sneaking out of the Great Hall. In the event that someone inquired about your absence later, you would tell them you were in the library studying. Only one of those things was true.

Thankfully, no one was lingering outside in the corridors where you and Cedric decided to join hands.

“We better do a quick check around the library to see if anyone else is hiding.” Cedric said once you both stepped into the room.

You nodded before you decided on which sections you would each cover.

Since you couldn’t go into the restricted section to check it for yourselves, you agreed to move somewhere as far away from it as possible without being close to the library entrance.

You were seated with your legs crossed on one of the tables in the upstairs area while Cedric sat on the chair next to you.

He reached his hand out and twirled a strand of your hair around his fingers. He looked at your face as if to say something, but stopped himself.

You didn’t want to push him further, so you filled in the awkward silence. “I forgot to say to you, congratulations.”

“Thank you. Never actually thought someone from another house would congratulate me, let alone a Slytherin.”

His eyes were transfixed to yours as he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you off the table and onto his lap, so that your legs were dangling from his side and your left arm was wrapped around his neck. You couldn’t stop being mesmerized by his eyes which you frequently thought about while pleasuring yourself.

“You are so beautiful.” You’d never get tired of hearing him say that.

You brought your free hand up his hair where you lightly ran your fingernails over his scalp. You felt the heat growing between your thighs at the sight of him closing his eyes at the pleasurable sensation. You could have sworn you heard him muttering something about how good it felt.

You couldn’t resist squirming and squeezing your thighs together at the sound of him begging. Not long after, you felt something poke at your ass, and you knew exactly the effect your movements had on Cedric.

You continued to massage his scalp as you leaned forward and planted a trail of kisses from his neck to his lips.

You saw his big hand wrap around your thigh, his thumb rubbing circles on the inside. The ache between your legs was bordering on unbearable as he squeezed the handful of flesh that was covered by your black tights.

“What have you done to me?” Cedric grunted out hoarsely.

“Didn’t I just give you the most mind-blowing sex last night? And plus it’s what you do to me too. I know that you made me cum harder than I’ve ever made myself. You’re all I ever think about when I touch myself. I can’t ever cum without imagining what it’d be like if it were you instead of my fingers making me feel so good.”

You smirked at seeing Cedric’s reaction when you bluntly admitted to him about your sinful activities. You thought you could never get over how cute he looked with his red cheeks accompanied by his deep breathing and his eyes that nervously darted to anywhere but your own.

“Maybe I should give you a little taste too.” You lifted your skirt higher but not high enough to show your crotch. You caught a feral look in his eyes as his eyes widened. He lifted you up and slammed your ass down on the table but not hard enough to hurt you.

You leaned your head back as you wrapped your legs around him and rubbed yourself against his body, desperate to create friction where it ached the most.

“Fucking hell. Please, Cedric. I want you to eat me out.” You were expecting yourself to sound like a depraved whore.

“Of course, Love.” You could’ve melted at whatever pet name he gave you even if he actually did call you a dirty whore. He gave you a quick peck on the lips. But you wanted more than that, so you pulled him in by his T-shirt, holding him in place along with your thighs wrapped around him, as you let your lips connect deeper and deeper with each other’s. In your state of drunken lust, you couldn’t think of anything else except for your desire to keep tasting his lips. As if acting on instinct, you both started to thrust your hips against each other’s, too entranced by the sounds of the deep breaths being exchanged.

You were so into your make out session that you almost didn’t hear voices entering from below the mezzanine. Apparently, you and Cedric heard them at exactly the same time because you pulled away at once, widening your eyes at each other, as if both of your lips electrocuted each other’s. Cedric gave you room to get down from the desk and you both made sure to not have yourselves be seen.

“Fuck! It’s Pince and Snape!” You whispered, both of your heads peeking out from behind a bookcase.

“I’m sure I can help you find exactly what you’re looking for before your classes tomorrow, Severus.” You heard Madam Pince say.

“Very well, Irma.” Snape said. “You of all people know how imperative it is to have these books for my seventh year students. Which is precisely why I came to you, seeing as how you’re the only one I can trust to help me find the appropriate materials.”

You and Cedric both let out an exhale as you saw the two staff members walking towards one of the bookshelves. You were relieved that the potions section was nowhere near where you were.

“You mentioned Pince hasn’t ever caught you touching yourself in her library, right?” Cedric lowered his voice to the same volume as yours was at.

You nodded.

“I’ve got an idea.” You thought you saw a playful smile on his face as he put a hand on the small of your back and guided you back to the same desk in the corner you were previously at.

You knew what he wanted. He was going to see how quiet you could be without getting caught.

“Do you think you could be a good girl and not get caught?” You were right, after all.

He trailed his hands under your skirt until they caught on the waistband of your underwear and tights.

“I’ve never been caught and I never will be.” You whispered determinedly as you got on your tiptoes and gave his lips a kiss.

“This should be no different. Except I’m here.”

“And they’re here.” You gestured to where you last heard the two other voices. “Isn’t it exciting? Doing something so naughty with the threat of getting caught?”

You grabbed a hold of your shoes and threw them aside before Cedric hooked his fingers under the waistband of your undergarments and slid them down your legs.

“I’ve never done something sneaky like this before.” Cedric chuckled quietly.

Your heart was pounding so hard in your chest that you were afraid it would jump out to where Snape and Pince were downstairs.

As soon as you planted your ass and your hands on the desk, Cedric could see how wet your pussy was when he knelt down.

Without losing eye contact, he took one of your ankles in one hand and planted his lips over and over on every inch of exposed skin on that limb until his head disappeared under your skirt. That’s when you clamped your hand over your mouth to stifle a whimper that threatened to rip through you as you felt his tongue trace the slightest bit along your pussy lips. Not even your wildest sexual fantasies could’ve prepared you for how weak he was making you feel, and he had barely even tasted you.

The second time his tongue was on you, he pushed it between your inner lips and even into your opening before pulling it up and swirling it around your clit. A wave of pleasure ran through your body which made you throw your head back. If you were alone in the library, you would’ve screamed at him, demanding that he’d never stop.

Cedric gathered the fabric of your skirt in his hand, revealing his eyes to you, which he kept on you this whole time. You knew he wanted to watch as you fell apart under his control just as it had been last night.

As if what he was doing to your clit wasn’t enough, he took the little bundle between his lips and sucked on it. Your breath continued to come out in shallow bursts as he held your gaze, making you squirm against his mouth. You were gripping the edge of the table so hard that your knuckles were turning white.

You tried anything you could do to muffle the screams that threatened to escape your body whether it’d be biting your thumb, biting your lip, or holding your breath.

It was obvious he knew how much you loved having your clit touched. It wasn’t long before you were rocking your hips against his mouth, so desperate for your orgasm which was approaching at an alarming rate.

Placing a foot on his shoulder, you maneuvered yourself so that you could open your legs further, giving him better access, enabling him to reach places he hadn’t before.

With each flick of his tongue that spanned from your entrance to your swollen clit, you felt that familiar tightening sensation in your body expand until you couldn’t hold onto it anymore. Your orgasm crashed down on your body, tipping you over the edge, making you shake under his control. You couldn’t help it as your thighs were shaking and squeezing his head on both sides. You knew it wasn’t enough to hurt him, though. Despite using all of the strength from both of your hands to cover your mouth, there was a soft muffle that escaped from you and you hoped that you and Cedric were the only ones that heard it.

Your head fell forward as you finally came down from your orgasm. You took deep breaths to calm yourself down, as Cedric got up from his position on the floor. He reached his fingers towards you, and you felt another shudder going through you as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, his fingertips brushing against your cheek before kissing you on the other side.

The look he gave you was something you’d only dreamed about as a little girl, having someone so handsome look at you as if you were the most beautiful treasure he’d ever laid eyes on. You knew you wanted more intimate moments like this with him beyond just sex, but you weren’t completely sure if he wanted the same.

“Irma, I assure you I am capable of carrying these books on my own. I don’t require your help.” Your thoughts were interrupted as you heard those two pairs of footsteps echo throughout the nearly empty space, along with their voices.

“Your classroom is in the dungeons. I won’t have you risk carrying such a heavy load long distance. There’s too many things that could happen. What if a student trips you? Or you could fall down the stairs. Then the books would be ruined.” Madam Pince sounded like she was on the verge of panicking with the way she was talking about her precious books, and you suppressed a giggle at the mental image of Snape clumsily tripping and falling on his face.

“Very well, then. We will bring these books to my classroom. Then you and I can resume keeping those dunderheads from acting up in the Great Hall.” Snape huffed.

“Boys will be boys.” You could picture Madam Pince rolling her eyes behind her stack of books she was carrying.

You and Cedric let out a breath of relief as the two pairs of footsteps faded out of earshot.

“I thought they’d never leave.” You sighed.

“I’ve been wondering…” Cedric spoke up after a moment of silence. He scratched the back of his neck as his eyes darted from yours to some random bookshelf. You didn’t understand what was stopping him from speaking his mind. You knew you were just as intimidating as he was shy which was only in certain situations. Why was he acting shy all the sudden after you slept with each other?

“I think you’re really beautiful.” You could tell there was more that he wanted to say.

“And I think you’re really handsome.” You threw back playfully, attempting to ease him. You planted your bare feet on the ground and pecked his lips. The conversation was paused as you took the time to get decent, hooking your legs through your panties before doing the same with your tights.

“I mean, it’s okay if all you want to do with me is to sleep together. I’m sure you have plenty of boys telling you how gorgeous you are. I know you can get any guy you want, and I’m not really sure why you chose me.” He was right, you could get any guy you wanted and that guy happened to be Cedric.

“What?” You couldn’t believe that’s all he thought he was good for. “No, Cedric. I really do fancy you. And I want us to do so much more together than just have sex… And I want to go out with you.” You awkwardly pushed that last sentence out as you avoided his eyes and fidgeted with your fingers.

It was as if Cedric was taking your breath away as he put his finger under your chin and tilted it up, making you look into his eyes.

“I want to go out with you too, Darling.” He whispered and instantly brought your lips together.

[johnentwistlesbassguitar]

Been having so many thoughts about uncle ernie/tommy so dumping them here incase any other freaks are interested

First, obv would be the abuse from Ernie that Tommy faces in the movie but like removing all the weird "fantasy" type elements from the movie Tommy is just a disabled boy who's getting abused by his uncle, which I think for Ernie would turn into sick obsession where he needs Tommy and wants him around at all times to be his pretty boy-toy so wtv Ernie convices Tommy's parents that he'd be better off with him (maybe saying that he can cure him or they just wouldn't have to live with the guilt of seeing Tommy everyday)

At first the relationship is obv very very unhealthy for Tommy since Ernie really doesn't give a shit about taking care of Tommy he just wants to "fiddle" with him as much as possible, I have a list of what I think Ernies kinks would be and all the things he'd use Tommy for but I'll post that separately, anyways through all of this Ernie ends up learning alot about Tommy and how he responds to certain sensations usually Ernie would put Tommy through pain by being too rough or other things ;) but sometimes he'd go a little more gentle

Anyways eventually Ernie would figure out that Tommy is really suffering and can not do anything for himself and ofc Ernie doesn't want Tommy to die or anything (around this time Ernie develops some very loving and worshipping feelings for Tommy) so he puts effort into learning how to care for Tommy properly and for once in Tommy's life he actually feels like somebody wants him and loves him bcs even if Ernie continuously violates him and hurts him he still wants Tommy to be well taken care of (I have a very specific scene in my head imagining Ernie tenderly washing Tommy's pretty hair and bathing him gently ugh)

From Tommy's point of view he would know who Ernie is from his scent (alcohol) or the way he handles Tommy bcs since he has so little senses I imagine he'd be able to feel some other things more strongly, also Tommy can feel everything Ernie does to him which at first is very distressing but eventually it becomes less horrible since he knows to expect the pain (Ernie would also take very good care of Tommy after and show him love and praise so even if it hurts what comes after is worth it)

I have sm thoughts about them sharing a bed as well like how it'd probably get cold as shit in Ernies house and he would wrap himself around Tommy to keep him warm and Tommy is sitting there expecting to be violated or hit but it never happens he just gets to fall asleep feeling all safe and warm, another thing is Tommy instinctively putting his arms around Ernie in the middle of the night for comfort and Ernie is so confused but is absolutely thrilled that Tommy wants comfort from him

Also with Ernies job I thought about him selling Tommy to make a profit bcs who wouldn't want a night with somebody as pretty and helpless as Tommy but after a while there would be too many instances of visitors hurting Tommy on purpose and it'd piss Ernie off bcs he's the only person who's allowed to treat Tommy that way, like despite also being horrible he would do anything to protect Tommy from other people who want to harm him the possessiveness would go crazy bcs Ernie would feel like Tommy is his toy and no one else gets to treat him like that

Finally, Ernie starting to worship Tommy since he's literally the perfect boy and is all Ernie has ever needed (blind, can't hear and can't tell anyone what's being done to him) also Tommy is just so incredibly beautiful it's hard to believe he's real sometimes, Tommy wouldn't be able to hear or see Ernie praising him but he could feel it in the way Ernie kisses him all over or him throwing himself on the ground and wrapping his arms around Tommy's legs the need to worship would seap into everything Ernie does for Tommy and Tommy would feel it he'd know that he's so very important but not understand why.

[luke-hughes43]

stella's favorite pics of lukey | luke and stella | insta edit

a lil photo dump for the babies

*had to bring this one back. we love stella's personality!*

~

stellazegras_ 

Liked by lhughes_06, trevorzegras, and others.

stellazegras_ so, it’s been a while since i’ve posted online and i’ve had a lot of wine tonight and i’m feeling nostalgic so here’s a compilation of my favorite pics of lukey and why i love them and so much!

pic 1: this pic is from like a month after I met him and it's when I first had the biggest crush on him bc I thought he was so cute (spoiler alert: I still do🥰)

pic 2: I feel like on is self explanatory. especially bc I've worn that jacket many a times during the ann arbor winter, and that smile is so infectious that every time I see the pic I smile too

pic 3 +4: it's literally the same facial expression and it makes he giggle bc he looks so deep in thought when I'm pretty sure he was just thinking about me (he literally is always thinking about me or hockey so I'm going with he was thinking about me in these pics)

pic 5: he looks so sassy, and I love sassy luke😆😉

pic 6: this is from college move in day and it was the first time I had seen lukey in like 2 months and I knew that I would get to see him everyday after that

pic 7: I mean come on, after the goal he scored right before this against state, it's hard not to enjoy this pic (especially with the sex we had that night)

pic 8: him and his boyfriend looking so cute (this was before luke's boyfriend got a girlfriend so I was the chronic 3rd wheel and not happy but they look so cute so it's whatever)

pic 9: my awkwardly shy boy, so cute☺️🥰

pic 10: his last practice at yost, bittersweet but he was signing his elc with jersey days later and living his dream so it's hard not to love this pic, plus i always loved him watching him play at michigan

pic 11: him cheering on his teammate and looking so goddamn fine doing it, (also i think we had great sex after this game too🤭)

pic 12: his draft night, and one of the proudest moments i've had of him achieving his dream. this was also one of the first moments of us being with all of his family and friends after them finding out about us dating

so thank you for looking at all of the amazingly awesome pictures of my super handsome loving and awesome boyfriend and why i love these pictures so much! 

plus i love him too!

Tagged: lhughes_06

Comments:

lhughes_06 I-

lhughes_06 baby, i love you so much but what is this?

lhughes_06 why did you this?

stellazegras_ because i had the rosé while on facetime with paige and felt nostalgic. plus I miss you lhughes_06 I miss you too baby, I'll be in jersey in 3 days sweetheart. stellazegras_ 3 days too long lhughes_06 stella... stellazegras_ i know lhughes_06 also, how much rosé did you have? stellazegras_ all 3 bottles... lhughes_06 3 BOTTLES? stellazegras_ I missed you ok? and the wine made me miss you less, so next time when I have to be in jersey for class come with me so I'm not alone with 3 bottles of the good rosé lhughes_06 noted

bellamurphy omg, this is golden. really went into the archives for some of these

stellazegras_ well most of my favorite pics of luke are from his michigan days so...

edwards.73 this is so funny, please share more funny pics of Luke I'm begging you

stellazegras_ be careful what you wish for ethan, I have pics of you too with luke that are a little cheeky edwards.73 I revoke my previous statement then... stellazegras_ smart boy

averyjohnson_ so mom, do you have any embarrassing pics of dyl?

stellazegras_ I have plenty hun, give me like 20 minutes and I'll find them

dylanduke25 I'm afraid to say anything in fear of pics of me getting posted

stellazegras_ I think you are the smartest one of them all duker

paige.greene we need to facetime with wine more often. I loved every second of witnessing this, next time the wine is on me girly

stellazegras_ hehehe thanks for listening to me talk about Luke for 2 hours paige.greene anytime stel, I missed you lhughes_06 I'm sorry, it took you 2 hours to do this? stellazegras_ that's how long it took me to finish all of the wine lhughes_06 I have no words

mackie.samo as a witness from cuddling with Paige, this was very entertaining and why I'm glad I avoid cameras

stellazegras_ you don't totally avoid them samo, I have pics from paige that I know you wouldn't want leaked... mackie.samo you truly scare me stella zegras

fiona.swanson can I be inited to the next wine night? I have some fun pics of mark!

stellazegras_ yes! embarrassing pics of our boyfriends are required for entry! markestapa HEY! LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS!

markestapa respectfully hughesy, I do not envy you right now. and fiona, stay away from the wine until further notice

stellazegras_ hehehe, no one is safe from me mark lhughes_06 yea thanks mark, not helping fiona.swanson for now, you are safe babe

ellawoods omg, this is golden

stellazegras_ the power of some good wine ella. I have much to teach you

seamuscasey26 luke, I wish you luck when you get home to jersey

stellazegras_ watch it shea, I have the spare key pal seamuscasey26 luke, come home soon to jersey, stella is scaring me

_mackboldy omg, I've missed wine drunk stella! can we get wine drunk soon????

stellazegras_ yes! you are always welcome! especially to get away from trev trevorzegras and this is why we don't let you near wine unsupervised. and with internet access stellazegras_ oh shut up. 

jackhughes send me some other embarrassing luke pics pls, I beg you

stellazegras_ no. 

_quinnhughes I have missed drunk stella on the internet. pls be safe 

stellazegras_ I'm literally in bed cuddling luke's pillow because I miss him, I think I'll be ok

colecaufield OMG I LOVE WINE DRUNK STELLA! 

stellazegras_ hehehehe thanks coley

_alexturcotte this is chaotic in the best possible way. remind me to get you wine drunk when I need to embarrass trevor

stellazegras_ noted turcs. but I don't need to be wine drunk for that, just text me any time and I got you

cassie.hughes6 I did not need to know some of those things. 

stellazegras_ oh right, I forgot you're a baby and luke's little sister lhughes_06 jesus baby, my baby sister follows you and you mention our sex life?  lhughes_06 hang on, MY MOM FOLLOWS YOU stellazegras_ oops? lhughes_06 oops is right cassie.hughes6 I'm literally 20. hardly a baby. stellazegras_ still a baby lhughes_06 still my little sister who doesn't need to know about my sex life cassie.hughes6 you got that right moose

[queenofbaws]

Someone snagged top 5 vhawke moments so how about top 5 things to write for vhawke? (Tropes, plot lines, banter, whatever)

oooooOOOOOOOH this one is delicious, thank you audrey 🥹

bed sharing bed sharing bed sharing. i am but a simple woman (with a fatigue disorder). bed sharing is my ultimate weakness, i fold like wet cardboard every time. first of all. there are so many OPPORTUNITIES to bring bed sharing into a vhawke fic. they're always runnin' around! always gettin' up to shenanigans! they gotta rest EVENTUALLY! or they're always hanging out at the hanged man, drinking. sometimes you GOTTA sleep a rough night off at your bff's place 😏 AND they're always going on fetch quests for [insert important npc]. maybe it rains. maybe you gotta camp out in a cave. or the sundermount summit. or the deep roads. and are you really packing multiple bedrolls? i mean, seriously???????? the opportunities are endless, and they're all PRIMO. FIC. FODDER.

FANCY! PARTIES!!!!!! okay this one is like. this one is complicated for me because it comes with a second trope, but they're so intertwined i have trouble separating them, lmao. that second trope is, for lack of an official name i guess, 'zip me up,' or helping someone else get dressed (or UNdressed, i'm not here to tell you what to do) FOR a fancy party. hawke and varric having to navigate some big, fancy shindig (think halamshiral, think chateau haine, think whatever is expected of them after they're kirkwall's ruling family lol) is just. the ideal for me. champagne. expensive clothing. INTRIGUE??? hehehe it's literally the WHOLE reason i wrote the durellion affair - because i genuinely couldn't get enough of it and had to put more into the world salkdjfsdkf

banter. like. these two are just. a goldmine. for witty back and forth. asdkljflskdjf i love getting to write them as like, kirkwall's most criminal improv duo. i mean when you really get down to it, that's...pretty much who they are, right? right??? but - and here's the secret sauce - the banter can't simply stand on its own. nononononono. the banter must be a cover for Actual Feelings and Thoughts. the banter must be Armor. when you can let juuust enough of the real stuff shine through the zingers? *chefs kiss*

the oh. oh. moment. it's so WEIRD, because TYPICALLY when i write shippier stuff, i tend to sort of hover around mostly-established-couple territory, but when it comes to these two, god help me, i keep coming back to the moment of realization. like aw shit. oh maker. this...this is going to be...okay. okay i can handle this. just. just in love with my best friend. okay. all right. why not. everything else is on fire, let's light this one up too askdfjksdjf honestly i think a huge part of that is that we don't GET a moment like that in the game, so there's just so many POSSIBILITIESSSSSS (and i'm gonna continue dumping those possibilities on the internet at large until bioware stays my evil hand)

the skyhold reunion. i mean. i mean. just. after everything they've been through up until that point? after how long they've been apart???? the skyhold reunion. 🥲

[misc-obeyme]

hihi I'm back, i was rambling about solomon and immortality the other time

BUT i just got a tiktok, and apparently there's a trend with the song that goes "nothing's new" and the first slide is a tweet saying "who had every right to become a villain?" And the second slide is a character

anyway my first thought was MC because they literally get dumped into a new world, whole life turned upside down and expected to adapt, in both OG and NB. Nightbringer i'd say is different since they have a goal they're working towards and at least they have Solomon

But in OG it's like "try to survive :)", you're looked down upon as a human, you're kept in the dark about the attic, there's so many little things that add up-

But in the end MC chooses kindness, chooses to keep going and make it work, and yes there's the chaotic options but no harm is done without cause I guess you could say?? They're not afraid to stand up for themselves and they're stubborn, but they won't sink down to the lowest of the lows after everything they've gone through

I dunno if i made any sense, I just needed to ramble and share with someone 🤣 thank you for being a welcoming blog

- ✨

Welcome back to my ask box! I will add ✨ to the anon list!

And of course I love all the ramblings, so know you're always welcome to come here to share your thoughts!

Now I gotta say the generic OM MC is one unhinged mf and I don't understand how they stay so chill and happy all the time. Like I would argue their ability to put up with so much crazy is what makes them unhinged rather than the chaotic options that are sometimes given for them. That stuff feels like a normal reaction considering everything they go through. Like the time they threatened to explode Mammon's door? Yeah, that feels like something someone who has been pushed beyond their limits might do.

And yet so often, the choices are nice. So often the choices are MC giving and giving and giving. They care so much and are willing to go through so much and do so much in order to keep their demons safe. And MC is the human in this scenario. I know, MC is OP with their pacts and their sorcerer stuff and their Ring of Light, but you would still expect the demons to take better care of them. And I mean more their mental state than anything. But the game kinda just takes for granted the fact that MC can take all the crazy in stride. I'm pretty sure I would have had a mental breakdown after the first week lol.

All that being said, I love the idea of MC turning into a villain. This is where you really can get into different story lines and outcomes based on your personal MC. Because I think it would be very easy for an MC to turn villainous in this situation. It depends on how conniving your MC is as to how this goes down.

Like do they deliberately wait to betray everybody until they've secured all seven pacts and the Ring of Light and so on?

Or is it more like one day they just snap and they never meant to turn?

In the first scenario, the question is what is their goal? Why would they do that to begin with? Maybe they want to rule the Devildom themselves and the goal is to have all the bros under their spell for the sole purpose of like dethroning Diavolo or something. I mean, good luck with that lol but it'd sure be interesting.

In the second scenario, it's definitely more chaotic and just MC loses their mind. Maybe starts destroying things Satan-style because they can't control it anymore.

I think it's a fascinating idea. And you could go with MC succeeds or you could go with someone (whoever MC is closest to perhaps) is able to talk them down from destruction.

But yes, in the end our OM MC always chooses kindness. Even when they're not going to take any nonsense, they're always solution oriented. They're always about helping the characters and I would say they're almost stubborn in their kindness too? Like they're determined not to be anything other than kind because to them, that's the right thing to do. It's precious.

[bibiwrld]

So, I had this idea where hobbie is besties with fem character and she gets bit, he shows her the ropes, and when it come to making her suit, she makes it a surprise for him, when surprised let's just say he went of the rails cause he thought it looked so good on her he couldn't contain his crush on her anymore.

Hope you like the idea and can do something of it!<33

Omg ofc❤️🎀

I hope this is to your liking, I really tried.

Best friend🔐❤️|Hobie Brown

🕷️

Hobie couldn’t contain his laughter, literally almost crying on the couch at the scene before him.

“You seriously afraid of that likkle ting, Leo?!” He fell back into couch, dying of laughter.

“Hobie! Stop playin’ and get the bloody thing!” Leomie cried with a broom in her hands. “You’re not gonna help a damsel in distress? Isn’t that like your whole thing?”

“I’m not Spider-Punk right now, I’m Hobie Brown.” He kicked up his feet on the arm rest of the couch.

Leomie glanced back at him and back to the danger to her existence on the wall. “Take your boots off in my couch, you know this is new.” Leomi groaned at Hobie.

“You mean our couch, I live here too y’know, sweetheart.” He obeyed, taking off his boots and putting his feet back on the arm rest.

She doesn’t know how she tolerated 10 years of friendship with this absolute annoyance of a man. They’ve been best friends ever since they were 11, and through those 10 years, they’ve went through so many experiences together.

From Hobie getting bit, to Leomie being dumped by her first ever boyfriend. They went through everything together— they were each other’s support system. Leomie was the first person Hobie came to when he started experiencing his newfound powers after getting bit. She even coined him the name “Spider-Punk.” Even though he hated it, he eventually warmed up to it.

How could he hate anything she thought of or did?

She stuck by his side no matter what. Honestly, she doesn’t know what she’d do without Hobie. She always thought the worse when he’d be gone for days, but he’d always come back bruised and tattered, saying “It’s nothin’”. Leomie was always there to patch him up, where would he be without her?

When he brought the news about being recruited to a society of different spider people, she was nothing but happy for him. He told stories about his missions, his new friends—even letting one of them crash in their shared apartment after dealing with parental issues, his asshole boss, and the time when a new spider person was the talk of HQ after being identified as an anomaly.

What more could Hobie ask for in a person?

There are times he’d look at her as more than just his best friend— he’d really look at her, how could he not? She was heavenly, from her brown skin, to her long coily hair that cascaded down her back.

He was in love with her. Not even the great Hobie Brown could deny that. His crush lasted 10 long years, watching other guys break her heart every single time, and knowing to himself that he could treat her so much better than them. But he just couldn’t, he’d hurt her way worse than them— this life he lived wasn’t something she should be so involved in, but he couldn’t find it in his heart to leave her.

“Please, Hobie, just kill it.” Leomie whined, glancing between the vicious spider on the wall and Hobie relaxing on the couch.

Hobie rose to his feet, pacing towards Leomie, his stature towering over her shorter body. “Kill it?” He took the broom from her hands. “That’s kinda disrespectful, y’know? I’m sort of a spider myself and you wanna kill this likkle defenseless spider, Leo?”

She looked at him straight faced. “Yes.”

“That could be my cousin.” He joked, pointing at the spider.

“I don’t care, Hobes.” She frowned. “Kill it, I don’t want it layin’ eggs if it’s a female.” Leomie squeezed his arm in fright.

“Spiders don’t do anything’ to you if you don’t do anythin’ to them.” He stated slowly going up to the spider with Leomie behind him in fear. “I won’t kill it, I’ll just take it outside, okay?”

“As long as it’s not in here.” Her eyes filled with fear.

Hobie raised his hands to cup the spider and one of it’s legs moved, making Leomie scream.

“Leo, quiet down.” Hobie looked back at a frightened Leomie. “You don’t have to worry, I’ll get rid of it, promise.”

“How are you gonna get rid of it and it’s not there anymore?” Her voice trembled while she stared at the wall the spider was once on.

Hobie whipped his head back to the wall and there was no spider there. “Bloody hell.” He knew this was going to be a long night. “Where the fuck did it go?”

Leomie clung to Hobie’s side, eyes darting everywhere in search of the spider. “It could be anywhere, that devil.”

Hobie looked around, then at Leomie, his eyes slowly growing wide. “Leomie.”

“Huh?” She flinched, looking up to Hobie. “Why are you looking at me like th—”

“Don’t move.” He warned her. “Stay still, Leo.”

She started freaking out, slowly backing away from Hobie. “Is it on me?! Get it off me!” Tears began forming in her eyes.

“It’s on your neck, stay calm while I try to grab it, love” He took slow steps towards her.

“MY NECK?!” She screamed, but the spider didn’t move from her.

Hobie looked her in her eyes. “You’re going to be okay, Leo. Just look at me, breathe.” He assured her and tried calming her down.

She slowly nodded while crying. “O-oka—AHHH!” She slapped her neck, making the spider fall and crawl off somewhere. “It bit me! The bastard bit me!” She held her neck and screamed.

“Oh fuck, shit.” He went to her side, examining her neck. A faint red bruise was left. “Let’s go to the hospital, in case it was venomous. I’ll grab your jumper.”

Leomie nodded and scratched her neck.

With the visit to the hospital, the doctor claimed that there seemed be nothing wrong with Leomie, even though they didn’t run any tests. A cream was recommended to apply to the bump on Leomie’s neck and they were told to come back if it gets worse.

Of course Hobie stole the cream and applied it to Leomie’s neck on their way home.

After arriving home, Leomie felt a bit exhausted and decided to go to bed and Hobie agreed, retreating to his room.

🕷️

“Leo, can you turn that damn alarm off?” Hobie asked with a groggy voice while making his way to Leomie’s room in nothing but basketball shorts. “I’m comin’ in.”

Behind the door revealed a mess of webs all over the room. Hobie instantly got over his tiredness and was now alert, scanning the room for an intruder.

“Leo!”

“Help me! I’m stuck!”

Hobie’s attention was brought to the high ceiling, to see Leomie wrapped up in webs like a fly.

Hobie shot a web to the ceiling and pulled himself to her. “What the fuck happened?” He stuck to the ceiling, removing the webs from her. “Did you see who did this?”

“It was me.” Leomie answered with an embarrassed look on her face.

Hobie was scrunched up his face at her reply. “The hell are you talkin’ about?”

“I did this, Hobes! I have spider powers.” She was now in Hobie’s arms.

He released his sticky hold on the wall and safely landed on the floor with Leomie in his arms.

Hobie scratched his head, not comprehending anything Leomie said. “Spider powers?”

Leomie nodded and turned her phone alarm off. “Yes, that spider from last night must’ve been radioactive. Then I woke up and the sheets were stuck to my hands and I started freaking out, and webs shot from my wrists, I didn’t mean to.”

Hobie blinked slowly, taking everything in. “Holy shit.” He grabbed her hand, examining it. “Webs? From your wrists? Lucky.”

“Does this mean I’m Spider-Woman?” She stared up at him with hopeful eyes.

He released her hand. “Only if you want to, I’d never force you to.”

“I want to.” She answered quickly. “I want to join the spider society like you, and have a super cool name.” She listed gleefully. “And an awesome costume.”

Hobie laughed. “You’re so cute.”

Leomie smiled to herself at his comment. “Whatever Hobie, put a shirt on, perv.” She playfully pushed him.

He laughed again. “Well this perv is going to be your teacher, you can’t be apart of the Spider Society with no type of skills or training, you’ll embarrass yourself.”

“You’re going to train me?!” Her eyes lit up and hugged his slim torso.

Hobie smiled down at her and wrapped his arms around. “Of course. There will be 4 trainin’ lessons, wall climbin’, web shootin’, hand to hand to combat and web slingin’.”

She pulled away from the hug with the brightest smile on her face. “When are we going’ to start trainin’?”

Hobie smirked. “Today actually, go get ready.”

“YES!” She ran out of her room in excitement.

🕷️

“God, you’re terrible at this.” Hobie stood on the ledge of a building and watched her attempt at scaling the wall.

It was day 5 of training, and they were still on lesson 1: climbing buildings and sticking to things.

“No I’m not!” Leomie shouted from the bottom of the building, while staring up at Hobie who wore his costume.

Hobie laughed loudly. “I’m lit’rally watchin’ you struggle to climb this buildin.”

“This is too hard, I quit.” She threw the cheap Spider-Man mask on the ground and put her hands into her jacket pockets.

Hobie jumped off the building and landed in front of her. “This is your third time quitin’. It was hard for me to navigate this whole Spider-Man thing too.” He spoke softly.

She looked at him with a pout.

“You can do this, I know you can.”

🕷️

“That’s it!” Hobie cheered proudly, while swinging through the city.

Leomie giggled at the rush of swinging through the air. “Try to keep up!”

Hobie smirked and accepted her challenge.

After 3 weeks of non-stop training, Leomie was practically Spider-Woman, or as she’d like to be called, Dark Web.

It took a lot of work, to get to where she is now.

Like when they were on lesson 2: Web shooting

“Aim at the bottle, not me!” Hobie dodged Leomie’s web.

She awkwardly grinned at her mistake. “Sorry!”

Hobie waved it off and went behind of her, her body tingling up at the feeling of him being so close to her.

He grabbed her hand, pointing and positioning it towards the bottles that were on the ledge. He then whispered into her ear. “It may be a likkle hard to teach you this since your webs are natural and mine aren’t, but I don’t think they’re that different.”

She silently gulped at his deep voice speaking so gently into her ear.

“Put your hand into the web shooting position.” He put both hands on her shoulders.

She obeyed, putting her middle and ring finger into her palm.

“Now breathe and concentrate on releasing your webs, let it flow.” He instructed. “It all has to do with concentration. Think of how you want the web to come out, do you want to hit the bottle over, or grab it?”

“Grab it.” She answered, inhaling deeply.

“Then grab it.”

On cue, a long web string flowed from Leomie’s wrist, wrapping around one of the bottles like a tiny hand.

Her eyes lit up, so did Hobie’s.

“Now tug on the web and grab the bottle with your hand.” Hobie said eagerly.

Leomie held the web that was attached to her wrist, then pulled on it with her super strength. The bottle came flying towards her with speed. She put her hand out, catching the bottle with minimal effort.

She surprised herself by actually catching it, looking at the bottle in her hands in awe, then to Hobie who looked at her with pride.

“See? I told ya, I know you can do it.” He gently took the cheap Spider-Man mask off of her, then ruffled her head.

“Ugh, Hobie!” She swatted his hands away.

He only laughed.

🕷️

“I beat your arse this time.” Leomie laughed, climbing through her bedroom.

“I actually made you win.” Hobie followed behind, landing in her bedroom.

She scoffed and took the cheap mask off, throwing it on her bed.

“When’re you goin’ to get the real thing?” He gestured to the mask on her bed.

“I’ve actually finished makin’ it.” She smirked. “I started on it after our second combat trainin’.” She made her way to the closet and began searching.

“I’m prepared to be wowed.” Hobie kicked off his boots and sprawled out on her bed like a cat.

“Turn around, you can’t see what I have in my hands, it’ll ruin the surprise.”

Hobie shook his head and smiled to himself while turning to face the wall.

Leomie hustled out of the room with different pieces of clothing in her hands. “Give me a minute.”

After what felt like forever, Hobie heard heavy footsteps.

“I’m comin’ in!” Leomie said from outside of her room.

Hobie turned back to see Leomie strutting towards him in a costume— a very sexy costume. He suddenly sat up straight up at the edge of her bed.

She wore a black, skin tight spandex leotard that went up to her neck, that had a white spider in the middle of her chest with a white webbing design all over. Her matching black gloves with white fingers stopped at her elbows. She had black, leather, platform knee highs. To bring the costume altogether, she wore a black mask that only covered her eyes and forehead, leaving her nose, mouth and long coily hair exposed.

Hobie lost control over all his motor skills. He didn’t hide the way he looked at her.

“Do you like it?” She asked, looking down at herself. “I feel like I look weird.”

Hobie’s breathing became shallow. He eyed her all over again.

“Hobie?”

He blinked, regaining control over his body again. “Huh?”

“Were you seriously not payin’ attention?” She put both hands on her hips.

“I was.”

“Then why didn’t you say anythin’? I really need your opinion.”

“Because if I said what I was thinkin’, you wouldn’t see me as your friend anymore.” He gaze lowered to her wide hips.

A chill went down her spine and his deep voice. “Wh-what do you mean?”

He was now on his feet, taking slow steps towards her. “Leomie.”

She was being backed into a corner of her room, Hobie’s tall stature intimidating her. “Hobie.”

“In my mind right now, I’m peelin’ this suit off of your soft likkle body–” He leaned down to her face. “And I’m eating you.” He grit his teeth.

Leomie inhaled sharply.

“Not very best friend of me, is it?” He put both hands on the walls and stared down at her with lustful eyes.

“N-no.”

He breathed off, putting his hands down and slowly backing away. “ ‘m probably scarin’ you, I’m sorry.”

Her hand reached out to grab his shirt, tugging him back towards her.

“You’re not scarin’ me.” She batted her lashes. “I sometimes think of you in a not best friend way too.” She admitted.

“You don’t know what you just got yourself into.” He put a hand on the back of her neck, then brought their lips together.

Between kisses he spoke. “I’ve loved you..for so long, sweetheart.”

Her hands cupped his face. “Me too.”

He broke their sloppy kiss and licked his pearly whites with his pierced tongue. “Now how about locatin’ the zipper on that thing and takin’ it off for me?”

🕷️

[baura-bear]

MAURA MAURA MAURA hiii :333 how are you how's stuff going!!! popping in to check in on you. hope you're feeling better bc i know you had a tougher time lately!!

and im here to dump my trans4trans javid tthoughts here. ok so i once read a really nice fanfic that portrayed david as presenting as a boy first to get a job as a newsboy after mayer's injury (i imagine they didn't take in girls or at least not too eagerly) and it was the first time he ever felt good and like truly himself. plus the name he chose . david. it was powerful and had significance as he was a Jewish person and like. obviously he felt so great!! and he also binded. though he was so anxious that the newsies would see that he isn't a "real" boy (obviously only using such wording to like. illustrate david's thoughts) but they didn't!! and david was welcomed and obviously there was also jack. and they were pretty infatuated right from the start. ok now just wanted to make clear that im just sharing my thoughts now. as for jack's transness i think the guys at the lodge all know? they've known jack for so long and he's their friend and he definitely trusts them a lot and obviously they support him! he's their guy!!! he's jack!!!! but they also obviously don't tell anyone that jack is trans. jack doesn't tell either. but as i was saying. jack and dave connect immediately and they get pretty enamored right away, and everyone could see that as well. and i imagine the first time jack learned that david is trans was when he had the talk with pulitzer... and pulitzer obviously disclosed some pretty personal information about david (his deadname) along with threatening to hurt his family if jack didn't comply. and since then jack knew obviously, and i think that only made him fall harder because. what are the odds that the guy you're in love with is *like you* in such a deep way? that he'll be able to understand you? that he'll take you seriously and you won't have to worry about not being perceived as a real guy? and after the strike when jack came back and everything was okay again. they definitely got closer and closer until eventually the inevitable Thing happened. a kiss probably or just a touch that was so unmistakably tender that they couldn't ignore their feelings any longer. and jack, before saying that he's in love, says that he knows david is trans. david literally gets paler than a sheet of paper and panics and wants to start apologizing but then jack quickly cuts him off with "no, dave, me-- me too! it's okay!" and then it sinks in for david and he's also so overwhelmed but in a good way and he can't help but just laugh and probably stim a bit because he's delighted for the same reason that jack is!!! and they definitely confess their feelings and they're so so very happy together. two boys in love :-)

DAVE DAVE DAVE!!!!! HI!!! Thank you for checking in :))) I’m alright! School starts soon so I’m a little nervy but I’m ok. I hope you’re doing well!!!!!

I HAVE DEFINITELY READ PART OF THIS FIC BEFORE (idk if I finished it but I remember loving it)

The the part about Jack finding out about Dave in Pulitzers office. Like,,, he realizes how much more danger David is in than he initially thought. And like it completely changes Jack and Snyder’s dynamic and why Snyder is so obsessed with catching this boy and how brutal his time in the Refuge might have been

And,,, David finding out that Jack knows. His entire world falls out from beneath him and he thinks this is just another person that he drove away because he doesn’t know how to be normal but the second he realizes Jack is safe he probably cries through laughter because what the fuck what a roller coaster of emotions to go on. And they just hug each other for a really long time and David probably says something about thinking he was the only one. And Jack’s like “oh boy have I got a surprise for you” because there are so many trans newsies (because I said so)

Also it makes David so happy to hear Les happily running around telling everyone that David is his older brother :’)

t4t Javid is the only Javid I love them sm

[waitmyturtles]

FINAL UNPOPULAR OPINIONS ON STEP BY STEP, EPISODE 12

It’s over. It. is. over. Good grief. ONE HOUR AND FORTY-TWO MINUTES. I’ll spare the supporters with a read-more. It’s a short-ish meta pour moi, and I drafted some of this last week in anticipation for what I thought would happen today, inspired by meta from others. 

I’ve been thinking about what would happen in this Step By Step finale since a great conversation last week with @stuffnonsenseandotherthings about whether or not people should have continued with this show. I’m filled with frustration, with lost hope for this show, but like -- a part of this frustration is exactly because THE POTENTIAL FOR THIS SHOW TO BE GREAT WAS EVIDENT WITHIN THE SHOW, FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE ALMOST-END. It was there, in front of our faces.

I’m gonna break this down, inspired in large part, before I watched this finale, from the incredible meta penned by @bengiyo and @respectthepetty on being queer in a majority non-queer workplace (I shared these links last week in the post linked above, but I loved their pieces here and here and here and here). 

The following is a drama I would have LOVED TO WATCH, if the actual show had not gotten HIJACKED by too many competing narratives -- ESPECIALLY the very long narrative and focus, over multiple episodes, of rummaging through Pat’s wavering emotions and my being led to believe that what we were watching was a Pat growth story. I’m basically plucking out the very best parts, in my humble opinion, of this show, and tying them together in a screenplay that I think would have been the most compelling storyline to watch. [Thanks to @lurkingshan for hearing this from me last week before today’s finale aired, because as I expected -- this thought process that I had last week LANDED (and it landed accurately because the finale ended exactly the way I sadly expected it to, godfuckingdamnit.)]

1) Jeng is a leader in a company that he’s been with on-and-off over the course of his career. He’s being pressured by his dad to take the company over. Instead, Jeng wants to prove his self-worth by making a department that he had founded, successful -- maybe even the most successful department in the company. Simultaneously, Jeng’s dad knows Jeng is gay, and is not happy about it.

2) Jeng is taken by a new employee, Pat. Pat is in his department. Jeng sees Pat’s potential, but is such a perfectionist as to interfere with Pat’s growth. Pat calls him the fuck out about it, and Jeng begins to change (which, as I’ve written about in the past, is fucking hard to do). 

3) Simultaneously, Jeng is so pressured by filial piety to organize himself to take over the company, that he works another damn executive-level job to decompress. (This strikes me as similar to how Tong in KinnPorsche may have developed his lifestyle, in part, to avoid taking over the family business, as Kinn hints to Porsche.)

4) As Jeng falls more and more for Pat, he begins to struggle to hold himself together. Jeng ultimately reveals to Pat that Jeng is gay. Pat is shocked.

5) Jeng confesses to Pat. Pat is again shocked. Pat is disturbed, recounting how Jeng toed the boss-employee boundary. Pat rejects Jeng. Jeng is devastated.

6) Chot sends Pat back to Jeng. Pat confesses to Jeng. They get into a months-long relationship.

7) Jeng loses himself in the relationship. He engages in favoritism in the workplace. He ultimately UNDERMINES Pat’s growth by buying Pat’s success, literally. Jeng’s dad, frustrated at this development -- and maybe even by their relationship itself -- reveals to Pat the duplicity. Pat dumps Jeng.

8) As we learned today: it’s two years later. Jeng is primed to take over Jian Group. But: Pat comes back to Jeng’s life -- Pat literally unblocks Jeng.

9) Jeng realizes he can’t work in a company that doesn’t tolerate equity and equality. Jeng is happy again with Pat. He hands his resignation letter to his father. Jeng goes to live forward his life with Pat, likely as a chef, in their joy as a couple.

Again: that’s a drama I would have loved to watch. THAT is a narrative. THAT has complication, drama, trauma, movement. It’s more of a workplace drama than it is a romance. It’s Jeng’s narrative. It’s Jeng’s development and POV.

(It doesn’t quite explain why Jeng acted like such a DUNCE in point #7, but I would hope that my fictional-fictional screenplay here would explain it. Maybe Jeng buys Pat’s success to PROVE to his dad that Pat, and the digital marketing team as a whole, are worth keeping and investing in. I don’t actually know -- because I wasn’t implicitly or explicitly TOLD this in the actual show.)

INSTEAD.

GODDAMN IT, INSTEAD.

I still don’t fucking know what narrative we really got, AND WHY. We got a PAT perspective, a Pat narrative, as we have gotten for the majority of the series. But this Pat narrative went NOWHERE. Pat never matured, never grew. We got a romance narrative of the most broken quality. We got a romance narrative that essentially told us (thank you to @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm for hearing this in advance) that Pat likes to date, break up with, and GO BACK TO questionable partners with questionable power dynamics in Put and Jeng (citing @heretherebedork here on a similar point). That’s.... not a very heartening narrative for dear guy Pat -- a man, as I said earlier, with whom we spent a TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF TIME examining his initial hesitations and spurts of growth vis à vis romantic partners (and MLM salespeople).

Compared against this questionable romance narrative....what was Pat’s brief workplace story? Pat -- at work, you actually ended up being a fucking badass! You started your own company with Chot and Ae? Winning awards? WINNING THE DAMN FJORD PITCH AGAINST JIAN GROUP? BADASS! (Although -- GAH -- @bengiyo pointed out that.... could Jeng have INTERVENED to throw the game for Jian Group so that Pat’s firm WOULD win the pitch?? FUCK. GAH. I don’t know that I want to go there, but it seems honest for this show.)

Anyway. Let’s sit with that for a second... oh wait, okay, we’re not gonna sit with that. We’re gonna brush off that y’all won the Fjord pitch. And focus on... a karaoke night project for a restaurant. Okay. Wow. Ooooookay. I really wanted to spend more time with your workplace successes, with the win of that HUGE PITCH WITH FJORD, but okay, karaoke night. Okay.

You’re.... you’re friends with Put now. We will have you meeting Jeng again... you’re angry.... okay wait, you’re unblocking him, okay. Okay, wait, wait, okay, Chot, and Ae....AND PUT?!.... are encouraging you to go back to Jeng? PUT?!

You’re drunk (again?!), and you’re...singing.... YOU’RE.... 

YOU’RE APOLOGIZING TO JENG? YOU. ARE. THE ONE. APOLOGIZING? WHAT? 

Jeng DISSED on you and your talent two years ago, my man!

Okay, and. Reconciliation after a hangover where Pat doesn’t remember what they said the night before? And then.... they start over, but it’s kind of awkward, and like -- not filled with reflection or like, is that too much of an expectation?

And Jeng hands over the resignation letter, but without explanation or context as to whether or not there COULD have been a way for him to be a leader at Jian Group WHILE in a queer relationship -- because we’re left to ASSUME all of this, as I did above? We are left to ASSUME that multiple entities in this universe, from Ying to Jian Group, just profit off of the queer community, without explicit explanation? (I can’t, I CAN’T assume or conjure narratives on my own -- successful storytelling needs to tell the story.) 

And, as I expected -- we are left with an unearned romance ending... with...with Pat...who has experienced SUCCESS ON HIS OWN, WITH HIS OWN COMPANY, MOOLAH BABY -- asking Jeng... to buy him ...furniture? (After Jeng quit his corporate job, so even working as a chef, we are left to assume that Jeng has the resources to buy out a furniture shop? Fine, it’s IKEA, but still? Nepo chef manchild?)

OH. KAY.

I just. KLSDJFLKSDJFLKJWEPRJKSPOFKDSLKGNSD.

This show scooped Pat up and was like, buddy, you just can’t do it on your own, so we’re gonna do it for you. You’re NOT gonna grow in two years, emotionally. Or, like, your professional growth WILL HAVE NOTHING to do with your emotional growth. (I call bullshit on that, btw, as an old auntie. Take your wins and grow from them. Goddamn.)

I would have liked to see Pat roll up in a damn suit and briefcase, take some DOCUMENTS out of that briefcase, and read THE RIOT ACT to Jeng -- IF the Pat romance narrative was even called for.

Instead, we got a milquetoast rush to a WEAK romantic ending. 

Y’all, I am saying. THE POTENTIAL FOR THIS SHOW TO BE GOOD WAS WITHIN THE SHOW. THE POTENTIAL FOR CELEBRATING LOVE AND SUCCESS WAS ALL HERE, IT WAS ALL HERE, I’m tapping at the damn script and chewing on my damn cigar. 

I didn’t see Pat grow. Instead, I saw Pat dealing and processing his emotions the same. exact. way. as he had two years prior. Filled with frustration, no words used to communicate what was up, and/or getting drunk in the process. And going back to the dudes that dissed on him. OH-KAY.

Might I ask, then? What was the point of this show?

I dunno. It doesn’t help anyone that Ben and Man are not necessarily actors that I’ll run back to watching. Maybe Man, in another show, if a pang of nostalgia hits me. But, in the end -- I was hoping, HOPING, that a compelling narrative would arise out of the mess we’ve been left with, episode after episode. Instead, as the series wore on to the end, the confusion of all these narratives only got worse. 

That’s it, this is all I got. I was thinking of watching Hidden Agenda for Joong’s face, but -- let me get to Lovely Writer first on the OGMMTVC, and I am GOING to be watching that show VERY FUCKING CRITICALLY, GAAAAH. I’ll be metaphorically honing my keyboard. 

Peace out, SBS! May you never come back in any sort of fashion, unless someone decides to take pity on your carrot cake ass and make an apologetic follow-up miniseries out of you. Do not color me surprised if Dee Hup and Tee Bundit decide to take that route, and I will have to scroll past the gifs on my dash if it does happen.

[hausofmamadas]

NUGGETS OF BENJAMAYO | aka just gif dump of my madness about 1 measly scene

✴︎

For Narcoctober's Day of Visuals - Oct 6th 5th (posted on the 6th cause I generally suck and my life is a mess) leftover from Day 1's fic

Okayokayokay so I made so many extra gifs for my Benjamayo fanfic that were theoretically set aside days ago for the Narcoctober Day of Visuals (I know that much like “fetch” Benjamayo is not a thing but much like the legendary Toaster Strudel heiress, Gretchen Weiners, I am very much trying to make it happen) and legit thought the prompt was Oct 6, not Oct 5 but I already have an amnesty day post technically I haven’t gone to sleep yet …? So technically yesterday is still today regardless of the date...? and I can’t not share these bc LET ME DO TELL YOU, I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS INTERACTION FOR LITERAL YEARS NOW so without furtherado

The scene in question: Benjamin schmoozing at Dina’s wedding, shaking babies and kissing hands, spots Mayo and decides, fuck it- he’s in a good mood! Little social butterfly, precioso is feelin’ himself. It’s a wedding, love is in the air! Why not take a moment to go flirt chat with Mazatlan’s very own Camarón King of actual sex Not Giving A Fuck About Anything Pretty Much Ever, Ismael El Mayo Zambada and this is how it starts off. First, Mayo asks the waiter?/waitress? if the shrimp in the shrimp cocktail is fresh but manages to pose it in the most sexy way, it’s actually borderline disturbing just how fucking hot this man is asking about fucking shrimp of all fucking things then again, passion in one’s professional pursuits is pretty hot …? But like no, I really don’t think that’s what’s happening here

Then Mín, little pep in his step, La Reina del Baile, glowing even more than the bride herself, strolls up and basically is like, “Bish, that’s a spiffy new hat. You buy that with the money you made movin’ shit through my plaza? cause there’s more where that came from if you’re interested in a sugar daddy🤭”

At which point Mayo is lowkey like🫣 oh god, what do I say now. Is he trying to strong arm me, what’s the angle. I really don’t wanna start shit rn, I’m so full of shrimp, like ngl I don’t even think I could run away without making myself sick and he tries to keep things simpatico but like the extra mile he goes??? This sly mf is smiling at Mín in a way that resembles a little too closely how he smiled at the waiter/waitress. And sure, maybe we can chalk that up to just Mayo a ho. He a May-ho sry, I just– you know I set myself up to spike that ball and I couldn’t not no matter how bad it was sksksksks and Mín rolls with it, he does one of those blind-and-miss-it thousand yard stares which I will devote an entire gif set post to later bc he does it more than once throughout the show and it’s actually devastating and shoots his shot, “pero imagínate que no tuvieras qué”

So anyway, this establishes what? Mayo a May-ho, right. And Mín is lowkey liiiiiiiiiiiiving for this shit bc he thinks he’s got an in. And do you know what tf this savvy, spritely little Drug Lord Dilf-Nymph of Tijuana does????????? something Miguel would never dream of doing in a million years, not just bc he’s homophobic asf and deeply insecure about his entire general essence as a human being, but he doesn’t have a fucking f r a c t i o n of the affable, boyish charm that Mín does HE FUCKING FLIRTS RIGHT BACK. TAKE ONE GOOD GOTDAMN LOOK AT THE GIFS BELOW AND TELL ME HES NOT FLIRTING. YOU DONT FULL-BODY SCAN SOMEONE UP AND DOWN LIKE THEYRE THE FUCKING THANKSGIVING TURKEY AND YOU HAVENT EATEN IN DAYS UNLESS YOU’RE SEXING THEM IN YOUR MINDDKSSKSJWB I MEAMaaaan–

BUT DSKWJWJWIEIWJWJSB THE BEST FUCKING PART ABOUT THIS ENTIRE THING?????????? MAYO IS SO DOWN FOR IT. THE SHIT-EATING GRIN HE GETS ON HIS FACE LIKE MANS IS SO GODDAMN FLATTERED, MANS IS SO ABOUT IT, HES LITERALLY THAT GIRL DAFFYDUCK GIF, ALL BATTING HIS EYELASHES AND UNDRESSING SEDUCTIVELY, OKAY LIKE

WHERE IS THE LIE Spoiler alert: IT’S NOWHERE, THERE IS ONLY TRUTH OKAY and then Mayo does this real cute thing all appealing to the control freak in Mín, saying he likes to be his own boss, “no más que tú sabes” and all that AND THEN, AAAAAAND THEEEEEENNNNNNN FOLKS HE JUST. KEEPS. ON. MF. GRINNING. AS IF HE COULD GRAB MIN BY THE TINY LAPELS OF HIS TINY SUIT AND PLANT A BIG WET ONE RIGHT THERE ON HIM, RIGHT ON THE DANCEFLOOR IN FROMT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLELWKWJW W

and then he has to scramble for something else to say bc he knows good goddamn well that they've been making eyes at each other for far, far too long, so he's like "ohshitohshitohshit ohhhhh look there's Azul, the closest boner killer within reach besides Rayo hey, you know where home is!!!!!" AND THEN MIN, FUCJINGAKSJFNLKQJWELKJN DOES THIS WAY-TOO-INTIMATE HEAD NOD AND SMIRK, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR COMING TO MY PARTY ERM IMEAN DINA'S WEDDING, IF YOU'RE EVER IN TOWN GIRL CALL ME

NO BUT EVERYONE LITERALLY SHUT UP AND SITDOWN ALL FIVE OF YOU BCTTHENNNNSI;RAJQPO23IJRPOQJIWEFOH THE WAY MAYO SAYS CLARO, AND IT'S THE EXACT WAY I WOULD IMAGINE LIKE HOW HE'D GOODBYE LOVE PAT A ONE NIGHT STAND ON THE SHOULDER AS HE'S OPENING HIS FRONT DOOR FOR THEM TO LEAVE ???????? IDK IDKIDKIDKDA;WOJEF;AOIJ AND THEN THE LITTLE PRIVATE LOOK OF LIKE "idk what the fuck that was but I'm- y'know i really didn't hate it......"

it just- i mean i'm sure we're all in agreement that i'm insane but like what other conclusions am i supposed to draw in the face of this raw, objective evidence

☇

taglist: @narcosfandomdiscord, @narcolini, @ashlingnarcos, @drabbles-mc

[pussyterminator88]

How drugs affect your personality

Have you ever thought about how you act while being on a substance.

What I mean is, do u know how you are being perceived by others when you are saying the things you are saying or doing. Do the words from your mouth come out worse then what they actually sound in your mind and same goes with your actions ?

Idk I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and it’s low-key sending me into a spiral. Sometimes I feel like I can talk a little bit too much about myself which can make me look entitled….maybe? This is just speculation and an observation, but when you are in a different state of mind your self perception kind of goes out the window. And maybe sometimes it can come off as I only care about what I have to say and the world just revolves around me, my life, people I know and my experiences.

However I think that instead of being so hard on myself and thinking that way, I should see it in a more positive light. Like for example, instead of painting myself as an entitled self-centered bitch in my head, I should maybe think about a different reason, of why I talk so much about anything, to everything, to nothing, to me, to others. Because after all not everything is black or white. I don’t like to make everything about me and shit you know. That’s why I just can’t be a self centered individual. I think that I just like to share things with people that I find interesting and create a conversation around that. Not a conversation about me! which is the reason why I don’t try to make things about myself.

I like to share my interest, and have an open discussion about anything and if I have an experience that is relevant to the conversation I might as well bring it up. It makes sense right? But here is the catch, when I’m on a substance I feel super excited about different topics and I’m eager to share my thoughts on things, and I can become so eager that I talk over people and not letting them finish their sentence, but I truly know that this isn’t coming from a place of hatred and selfishness but it’s coming from a place of pure joy and passion for the conversation. For the other person this could be super annoying and seem like I’m rude and that I don’t care about their words. But I truly do care. I just need to learn to let people say what they want to say and then add my thing when the other person or people are done. However I also have a feeling it could be more than just passion and eagerness that makes me so amped and overly hyped over literally the most irrelevant thing.

I think I speak about my life because I want people to be able to feel comfortable with sharing things about their life. To create a space where people can relate to one another and express their feelings about certain things. Not in a sense where I trauma dump and expect the same from others but just create a vibe that’s not toxic an aura that is fun yet interesting.

Maybe this doesn’t make any sense to you, and maybe you truly don’t care about this shit (which is a feeling I get quite often when I’m done speaking with someone.) So, maybe I just overdramatize this whole self image thing and how I’m perceived, and really what I need to realize is that no one really gives as much fucks about the things you say or do afterwards as much as yourself. Because we are all the same in a way, and we all are probably not thinking about what the other person really meant when he/she said those things we just see them as what they are and how they were presented. Not overthinking about this stupid idea of what the real meaning behind those words are. Just because I share something about my life it doesn’t mean that I’m secretly a narcissist, because I know that I’m not bragging, I know I’m not flexing, I’m creating a bond.

and what I know now is that I’m just trying to open as many doors to as many conversations as possible and in this case the habit I need to learn is. These people are not going anywhere and I can wait with my parts or if I don’t understand the context of what others are talking about instead of cutting them of and asking what the conversation is about I should just listen try to figure it out and when it’s reached it’s end and I still don’t get it then allow myself to ask.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Wow what else is new I’m thinking about the a OrangeJuiceVerse again and Not Writing the completely unrelated story I’m working on ANYWAY!!!

OJV Stan is the ACTUAL sweetest boy on the planet and I WANNA TALK ABOUT HIS SOBRIETY!!!

Tw for alcoholism so it’s below the cut

I know I’m annoying abt ojv Stan’s sobriety, but it’s really, really important to me. I may have started the OrangeJuiceVerse because I saw this art of basketball Kyle and mascot Stan, but Broken Bottles From Apartment 2 is what actually solidified that au as an ongoing thing, and Stan’s sobriety is a cornerstone of that story.

As referenced in the aforementioned story, Stan stopped drinking at 25, and why? Because one day, a week or so after Kyle’s birthday, Stan had been off work and had been pulling from his secret bottle all day, and Kyle’s blood sugar hit a low. So Stan went to make him a KMBS (introduced here) BUT he was way drunker than he thought he was, and forgot how many ice cubes go in, and it hit him that if he was forgetting things like that, the drinking was a real problem.

Y’all it was SO bad Stan literally collapsed on the floor crying and Kyle’s like “dude dude WHAT what the fuck is it” meanwhile his dexcom is beeping and he fully forgot to eat at lunch bc work was busy so he’s also not doing well Stan is like “KY I DONT REMEMBER” they’re on the floor beside the fridge and Kyle is yanking it open and they’re sharing a bottle of Gatorade and Stan finally just spills EVERYTHING about how scared he is of his drinking habits, how like “yeah I know I’ll have a couple beers at night but it’s MORE than that” and Kyle is mentally REELING bc he didn’t think it was this bad, Stan is sobbing, Kyle is trying not to, Moose is curling his tiny cat body on Stan’s lap, they are all LITERALLY on the kitchen floor it’s the most heartbreaking scene you’ve ever witnessed.

And that night, Stan swears off alcohol. He dumps his vodka down the sink. He calls out of work and rides out the withdrawals over the next few days. A very freaked out Kyle is also calling out of his job to take care of him and he’s fucking terrified the whole time. But when Stan’s on the other side of the physical part? The self loathing tries to take him.

Kyle is fucking BEGGING him to go see one of his therapist friends, but Stan won’t do that, so Kyle’s like “okay it’s either that or we’re going to AA” and Stan picks AA bc even though he hates the idea of it (he went with his dad once when he was 9 and Randy Jackass Marsh got a dui) it feel less daunting than therapy.

And Stan winds up LOVING AA. Everyone at the local chapter is super chill. Ky goes with him the first few times, someone brought their dog, and this old man came up to him at the end, and they talked long after everyone had left Ye Olde Meetin Hall. Stan found his people in this group, despite being one of the youngest there, and that community is really important in his life. When he found out a few of them did an annual camping trip, that’s what really sold him on the whole thing.

So OrangeJuiceVerse Tweek comes into the picture abt 2 years after Stan stops drinking, and THAT was the thing that made me write BBFA2. Stan is THE support group king in the later OJV, and he just wants to help everyone, he’s Tweek’s sponsor, when they hit meetings it’s so kickass fuck I love them. The old geezers at the group are so fucking funny too, Tweek was terrified but stan told them they gotta chill out before he brought twerk.

Moose regularly comes to meetings and is a huge hit, they do a Birthday Night potluck every month (stan gets made fun of for not eating meat), and there’s not a single actually judgemental person there. Like Stan and Tweek are both in long term relationships with other men, and they’re in assfucknowhere Colorado, but the ONE homophobic asshole got put in his place REAL fast by everyone else there. When Tweek showed some people a pic of his husband the middle aged lady beside him at the table was like DAMN SWEETIE that’s one handsome man! Lmfao I gotta write a snippet of the ojverse aa group.

Stan and his sponsor RULE the group!!! They both have this charismatic energy and the old guy (his name is mark) is actually so cool, Stan may have been skeptical abt aa at first, but later down the line he’s showing up super early to hang with Mark and he’s greeting newcomers

Dude I’m crying abt Support Group King Staniel again

[wild-karrde]

I would love to know more about Crater and Chuckles’ relationship.

How did they get on when Chuckles first joined the squad? What kind of shenanigans did he get up to? How did Crater deal with him? How does Chuckles view Crater??? Is it respect, just an opportunity for mischief, big brother, etc?

After re-reading your Crater mini-series and OSaaT, I now have a burning need to know the particulars of their relationship, if you have time and would like to share!

HI HELLO DEAR FRIEND, I MISSED THIS WHEN IT INITIALLY CAME IN, but I have MANY THOUGHTS about Chuck and Crater ALL THE TIME and shall dump some of them here haha. It got LONG, so I'm putting it under a cut.

So Crater was always an excellent pilot, and it was obvious pretty early on in his training that he was likely going to get his own combat wing to lead. He's always been the quiet, watchful sort that observes and takes plenty of mental notes, and when it became clear he was going to lead, he started thinking about what kind of leader he'd want to be, who he'd want to follow if he was on the other side. He saw plenty of trainers that couldn't lead a bantha to water, and each one was a learning experience for him. He didn't want to be the type that led via intimidation or anger, but he also didn't want to be someone that was a pushover, that didn't garner respect from his brothers. Instead, he opted to make it clear that his leadership was built on trust; his men had to trust him to lead, and he had to be able to trust them to follow him into battle, to watch his back. He felt that the trainers that tried either extreme of the approach were trying to fit all of the clones into a one-size-fits-all sort of box, and that didn't feel right to him. He decided to be someone that could embrace and adapt to the different personalities he would wind up leading. Since pilots tended to have a shorter lifespan than other troopers, he would have to since his wing's composition of personalities would likely change often.

Enter Chuckles, a trooper that had become a pilot purely on accident (he stole a fighter while drunk and wound up having a hell of an aptitude for it). As a shiny, he didn't have a serious bone in his body and seemingly loved to break the bones he did have with his antics. He flew by the literal seat of his pants most missions and seemingly didn't take kindly to the authoritative sort of leadership styles Crater was trying to avoid. He was Crater's first real test of his theory of how a wing should be run, and needless to say it proved it could be successful for him.

Chuckles very much operated on the "here for a good time, not a long time" sort of mantra and had been prepared to push back against whichever hard-ass he'd been shoved under. His first impression of Crater was that he was stoic and far too serious, but that changed quickly. There was one instance where Chuckles had set a series of whoopie cushions in the cockpit of one particularly condescending natborn commander, and he was certain Crater had seen him slink off into the shadows just as he and the commander entered the hangar. Crater never said anything, allowing the commander to climb into his fighter and plop down with a fart noise loud enough to silence all conversation in the hangar. Chuckles heard Crater make a comment about perhaps laying off some of the richer ration bars before making eye contact with him. Chuck was certain he was going to be on permanent latrine duty if not worse, but his captain simply smirked before heading off to his next briefing. That was sort of the turning point for Chuckles where he realized Crater was one to watch out for brothers first rather than just following orders, and that he could handle a joke or two within reason. That was where he started to trust him more, and that trust eventually blossomed into a very close friendship.

Crater quickly recognized Chuckles was someone the men were comfortable talking to, so he often spoke with him to gauge the temperament of the wing. He never pushed Chuck to betray confidences, but more used him as a barometer of how the wing was feeling and to determine what he could be doing better. Chuckles admired that about him, and while he always told Crater he never wanted a promotion on paper, he did appreciate that Crater treated him as something of a second in command, someone to be trusted and asked for input.

That's not to say Chuckles never pranked Crater or gave him a hard time, but there was always a sort of mutual understanding between the two of them. Chuckles never crossed a line that might undermine Crater's authority, and Crater never reported an incident, even if it resulted in yet another broken bone for Chuckles. He understood what Chuck was doing, that the camaraderie and the humor was needed, especially with what they did and how much danger they were always in. They complimented each other really well despite the fact that the two of them seemed to be polar opposites at first glance. And while Chuckles absolutely looked up to Crater and saw him as a big brother of sorts, there were also moments where Crater looked to Chuckles in admiration as well.

I LOVE THEM VERY MUCH AND THIS GOT VERY RAMBLY BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK. I really enjoy talking about the behind-the-scenes stuff with the two of them (and maybe some day I'll write more 28th Combat Wing lore).

[for-d2b48c]

This will be a loooong message and will try to be as raw as possible 😭 and I’m typing this right now kasi baka mamaya I’m eepy na and magsasabi nanaman ako ng words na I really didn’t mean so here I am. I have 2 things to talk about and I turned it to only 2 words para may context so you can stop reading na from here if ayaw mo basahin or too much too handle ngayon. It’s about sleep, insecurities. Let’s start with sleep since mas heavy yung isang topic. I meant it when I said na baka I’m disrupting your peace every time we talk lalo na tuwing ungodly hours. we’ve been talking naman na ever since pero may times talaga na naiisip ko na what if before tayo magkausap lagi non ang peaceful ng nights mo like wala kang dumb and annoying person na kinakausap. I know I’ve said this a lot of times pero if you need time and space and gravity talaga, just say a word and I’ll give it. So I’m sorry if minsan I keep saying sorry dahil I’m keeping you up kasi even though na normal lang sayo to sleep late there’s still a chance na pwede kang matulog ng maaga if I’m not talking. Also, don’t worry about me. I know it’s so simp or stupid of me to sleep so late dahil lang gusto kitang kausap pero it’s the only way na I can talk to you so please let me sleep late 😔. you don’t need to feel sorry about that because gusto ko rin naman in the first place. Kung sino man ang need to feel sorry sakin is myself kasi I have no self control.

Here’s a picture of bert and ernie for commercial break 😔.

Second word, insecurities 💀. Dear lord, sana kung ano man maspill ko here is you will guide me after no matter what 😭. First of all I need to say sorry. This is what happened last night in my sleepy ass brain. When you said you have a dump account ang una ko talagang naisip is yung inside joke namin ni kuya na para kayong may deadline every month, it’s nothing serious naman kasi we just laugh about it especially sa last or first days ng month, halos lahat ng nasa feed niya is ganon 😭. But honestly, there’s really nothing bad about that, I even envy people who can easily share stuff that made them happy for that month. That’s why I said na maybe I’m just projecting my insecurities kasi I can’t do that. I have a longer explanation about that pero let’s continue with my train of thoughts at that time. When I knew what consists your dump, biglang kong naisip na “I wish I could see that” BUT at the same time it’s okay that I can’t see it? Baka bipolar talaga ako. Kasi half of me saying na i want to know the little things about you at the same time I don’t want you to share things with me na hindi ko rin naman need malaman. So at that moment, I’m feeling too many things tapos sleepy pa ko kaya siguro I came off rude or mean or annoying so I’m sorry.

Another commercial break. Just stop right here if all of this nonsense shits is getting too much na and look at my baby djungle ❤️‍🩹.

This is a continuation of the last thing I have yapped about. Actually pwede mo na talaga tong hindi basahin kasi I’ll just explain lang naman yung relationship ko sa social media since you have mentioned you have dump acc and it opened up another thought in my brain 😭. I swear to god if pwede lang magpalit ng utak ginawa ko na dati pa. I wish I could do dump posts pero I really do have anxiety about what I post online unless it’s a meme or song kasi it’s a subtle way to express what i feel unlike sa pictures na literally exposing a glimpse of my what I’ve been doing. BUT, at the same time, I want to do it because there are really some pictures na sitting on my gallery na nothing bad will happen naman if I post them. Plus, I am fond of curating pictures din. BUT AGAIN, I’m so scared of what other people will say even though at the back of my mind I know no one literally cares BUT AGAIN, babalik nanaman ako sa first point ko hanggang sa I choose not to share things online na lang. So if nagpost ako it means na I defeated my inner demon that time 😭. So maybe my outburst last night is really just my insecurities talking. And I’d be lying if I say I haven’t feeling a little bit more insecure about everything lately. I should really think 4 times before I say something. I’m sorry, I’m really trying to get a grip 😔.

I let my raw emotions get out of its cage nanaman pero I think this is my way to sort things out but if you find it uncomfortable, I’ll try my best to lessen it because at the end of the day, I just don’t want to hurt you. But I feel like I’m taking so much of your time and energy so I think I’ll just constantly feel sorry that you’re talking to me.

[1d1195]

I tend to keep a lot of my "vulnerable" feelings a bit bottled up lol BUT I am working on that lol I of course appreciate you sooo much! Even before I claimed the 💜emoji, I HEAVILY related to your MC's like there were so many similarities in their personality and struggles that for a second got a little TOO REAL lol And to know you put alot of yourself into your stories and characters it felt nice to know that I wasn't alone in feeling like that. Sometimes it feels like something is so wrong with me when it gets tough so knowing that my feelings aren't so strange made/makes me feel alright :) idk if any of that made sense lol

omg don't even get me started when parents trauma dump 😭 idk if i mentioned this before or not but Im first gen Mexican American so literally Mexican parents/elders will literally tell you the most TRAUMATZING stories/experiences then go to say shit like "it's okay, thank god we are better now😁" LIKE HELLO!? WE NEED TO UNPACK THAT?!

I often think if I would be "happier" if I had just chosen a semester school bc I despise this horrid system lol But youre so kind, you have no idea😭

OMG YOU THINK I HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE??? thats crazy bc I feel like mine isn't too crazy or fun lol I have a small core group of friends but the majority of them aren't in school and the friends I do have in college i feel like I rarely seem them due to all of us being so busy lol But ngl i do love going to the free events there like concerts and drag shows WHICH ARE MY FAVE!!! but even then hanging out can sometimes be a little draining for me but once again Im trying to work on that lol.

But bestie you graduated early?! That's really cool! And that is such a big accomplishment! And I can't blame you for wanting your Friends moment like who wouldn't want that?! I wanted a cute little college romance but instead Im over hear falling for my professor lol OH i forgot to mention I have a cute TA in one of my psyc classes so Im saying sorry in advance for how annoying I will be about him 😔

AH you know I love you Sam! You seriously are someone I look forward to chatting with!-💜

I totally get the bottling your feelings up. I think Tulips is most like that. She has some issues (she, being me). I'm glad feeling relatable was a comfort for you. I know it's a comfort for me and I think one of the NICEST things about writing on here is that there are actually many people share the same feelings as me (us). Way more than I thought. It's kind of isolating day-to-day so it's nice to know it doesn't have to be.

HEY RANDOM!!! do you know your Myer's Brigg Personality? I am a HUGE personality test taker. Those buzzfeed ones that were like "What toaster are you?" literally obsessed. or the soldier, poet, king test? Any of them! I love them. It might be a little confirmation bias-y in my own personality but I don't care; I love them. HAHAHAHHAHA I did one for a job years ago I would have to dig it out to remember what the actual test was but i think it was like your big 5 qualities in the work place. Anyway, it made me think of more ways we could be similar (I'm an INFJ - (T) but if I use my teacher persona I can be convinced to be an ENFJ --but I'm a major introvert at heart obvi)

My mom and I are very similar. My bf has some pretty convincing theories about how my mom used to be like my sister and then turned into me when she had kids because she had to be responsible. So her trauma dumping often includes a lot of regrets and worries. You've mentioned your Mexican-American heritage before and I've seen a lot in the media (I know it's not exactly the same and probs also childish of me to rely on Disney for media but Encanto and Coco I feel like were semi-good examples--please don't think the worst of me if you disagree) Encanto especially--Grandma has some things to talk through. That's a lot to unload on you (or anyone!). Again, nice to know it's relatable even if it's sad sometimes. At least I'm not alone! 💕

UGH I can't wait to write TA Harry 😍 You could NEVER be annoying. I want the play-by-play PLEASE it will be the best inspo and I need to live vicariously!!! I've never been to a drag show but definitely on the list of things I'd like to attend! I fall into the latter part of your sentence there. I refrain from doing a lot of things because I'm already so busy on a regular day I don't want to do anything that will require energy when I don't need to use it HAHAHAHA

You're so sweet, thank you. At the time graduating early felt like a really big deal. Now I feel like it doesn't mean much. I guess it saved me some money right? There isn't much I won't do for a coupon 😂

Love you! Hope your week is being good to you!

xoxo

[freebooter4ever]

I just got back from seeing The Batman. If you're on the fence about seeing it, I'd say you'll enjoy it if you like Batman. I really loved it! I dug the aesthetic, the acting and I wanna make the cowl. It actually looks make-able for me 😁. Make sure you pee beforehand though, it doesn't feel like it but it IS 3 hours long.

LOL omfg that's exactly what ineedanumbrella said to me: that she was careful to not drink too much water that day in preparation. I'm actually not worried about length - I'm too much an LOTR fan for that to bother me. Plus im also in the camp of the third Nolan batfilm would have been GREAT if they'd just let him develop bane a bit more and make the movie 4 or 5 hrs instead of the cropped version.

I just...i dont know if i can do the patman. I really dont. I respect the hell out of him as an actor but i cant stand his face. And like i was neutral on bale before i saw batman begins. but im not neutral on patman. There's not many actors that i actively dislike and he's one of them. It doesnt help that my roommate forced me to sit through the lighthouse (dont get me wrong - a hilarious movie A+ but like. Seriously.). Its one of those 'im so glad he's out there doing his thing and terrorizing the powers that be who want to capitalize on his insane popularity to line their own pockets. but i dont want to have to watch the results myself' kind of moods.

Anyway if I do end up going to see it and loving it yall can rub this in my face. Wouldnt be the first time lol.