#too lazy to go over the post to correct mistakes

[jeonscatalyst]

LET’S TALK ABOUT “ARE YOU SURE?!”

I started doing a very long review of the entire season of AYS but I changed my mind along the way because I have seen so many other people give reviews of the show which I generally agree with so me doing another one just to repeat the same thoughts felt a little unnecessary so I decided to look into some aspects of Jikook’s special bond which AYS practically reaffirmed or which some us might be finding out for the first time. This post is going to be incredibly long so brace yourselves.

These are mostly my observations and some of these observations are not new to me at all. These observations would be supported by mentions of moments from the show or twitter links to see some described moments.

*Jimin listens to Jungkook

I love how Jimin and Jungkook listen and pay attention to each other but it was especially beautiful to see this aspect of their dynamic play out in AYS. I noticed that no matter how unimportant what Jungkook was saying seemed, Jimin always listened to him, validated him and participated in the conversation . The two moments I recall the most (there are more) were from the Jeju episodes. In episode 5 while at the meat restaurant, I loved how Jimin just sat there listening as Jungkook explained to him how to tenderize meat. You could tell that for some reason that topic was important to Jungkook or he loved talking about it and Jimin knew this so he encouraged the conversation by asking follow up questions and Jungkook happily explained things to him. Now I don’t particularly think Jimin was very interested to know how to tenderize meat or all of that but it was beautiful how he created a space where Jungkook felt comfortable enough to just talk about the most simple things knowing that someone was actually listening and paying attention to him.

Then we also have the moment when they all got back from the last restaurant they visited in Jeju. We see Jungkook happily telling Jimin that he saw two bikers on their way home and this was so sweet on its own because things like this show you how innocent and child like Jungkook is because things like that still amuse or excite him but what was even more touching to me was Jimin’s response. Jimin didn’t just stay quiet or just say “ok”or “really” and leave it at that but he actually engaged in the coversation too and told Jungkook that he saw him waving at them. This was really precious to me because it’s beautiful how Jk knows that he can talk to Jimin about any and everything and he would always get a response that doesn’t make him feel like what he is saying isn’t important.

These are things that people easily ignore or undermine but seeing moments like this explains why Jungkook said he found the greatest comfort in Jimin and why Jimin is who he went to when he needed company.

*Jungkook is more verbally expressive around Jimin.

I don’t know if many people have noticed this but when watching BTS content, it is easy to notice that Jungkook is usually quieter among all the members. He doesn’t talk much and rarely ever initiates topics for discussion but just goes along with them. We usually see more of the physically expressive side of Jk when he is around other people but AYS showed me a side of Jk I must I admit I didn’t know too well.

With Jimin, Jungkook is more vocally expressive. We saw him literally take lead of conversations, vocally express how much he loved the show and how much fun he was having, we saw him initiate conversations quite a bit and I must say this felt new ans different from the Jk we know in other content who usually can’t even speak over his hyungs. We usually saw him try to say something and eventually give up, he didn’t vocally express his thoughts much unless he was specifically asked but with Jimin, he is so different. Maybe the more accurate way to put this is that Jungkook is the biggest yapper around Jimin even though he goes quieter with others.

I also love the fact that we don’t only see him vocally express his happiness. I love that we see him express his frustrations at Jimin too. When he is mad at Jimin he doesn’t hide it, when he is not impressed he doesn’t hide it, when he is sad or hurt by something Jimin says or does he doesn’t hide it. This shows a very deep level of understanding and trust because Jungkook knows he doesn’t have to pretend around Jimin. He is sure and secure in whatever bond they have that he is ok with showing Jimin every side of his. His happiness, excitement, pain, sadness, frustrations, anger. This is what an ideal relationship is like to me. This is what a real deep connection feels like to me and seeing Jikook like this melted my heart. I was so happy to able to see this side of Jungkook because it’s not a side we had seen alot.

I love how Jungkook feel comfortable talking about the most mundane things in settings where he feels the most comfortable or with people he feels the most comfortable with. After watching AYS, I got to finally understand why Jungkook loved doing very long lives so much. I think we can all agree that there is a certain level of comfort Jungkook feels when he is Live. He talks about any and everything to us seated on the other sides of our screens watching him. He tells us about the size of Bams poop, tells us about meals he loves to cook, tells us about the most unserious stories about wanting to meet and befriend ghosts, he feels comfortable falling asleep with us watching. When I think about it, I feel like he does that alot because he knows he can just talk and we would just listen without judging or openly judging the things he likes to talk about. Maybe with some friends or actual people in his life, he can’t just sit with them and talk about whatever he wants to talk about because some people might not find the “weird” things he likes to talk about fun or interesting, i mean how many people want to just sit there and hear about meat tenderizing? How many people want to sit and hear or talk about the size of a dog’s poop? How many people would just be quiet and listen to you talk about sand fleas? I think when Jungkook is around people he or settings that he knows he can just be completely himself and talk about whatever he want, he just goes off completely. That is how I see him and Jimin.

*Jikook truly enjoy spending time together

I’m sure many of us already know this but AYS once again showed that Jimin and Jungkook actually love spending time together. I’m not talking about time where they can just meet, do one of two fun activities and then go their separate ways, I am talking about them truly enjoying each other’s company no matter what they are doing. We saw them sticking together, choosing to do almost everything together and going to bed together even when there was another member in the mix. After their showers on those nights in Jeju, they could have just gone and done their different things like we saw tae do but they enjoyed sticking together and doing things together. It makes sense why over the years, we have heard from members and staff that Jikook were together alot. Makes sense why they called themselves all nighter buddies and we saw that dynamic at play in Jeju.

*Jikook have an insane amount of Inside Jokes

This is one nobody can argue. Jimin and Jungkook have an insane amount of inside Jokes and they watch alot of the same things. So many times people around them don’t understand the things they say. Hell even us watching had to wait for people to dig and explain to us what some of the things they said meant.

We saw this at play again throughout the AYS episodes. I love how Jimin and Jungkook instantly get each other and how they immediately pick up what the other is saying while others around them are still trying to figure things out. This is one of the ways you can tell that two people spend alot of time together and know each other deep.

*Jikook don’t need alot to feel happy and to have fun with each other

Jimin and Jungkook are two people who can create fun and happiness for themselves in any situation. They don’t need to be doing any fun physical activities to really enjoy or have fun being around each other. Just a simple drive, a walk, a meal, or just sitting down talking is fun for them. Just a train ride listening to music from the same airphones is interesting and fun to them. They don’t get bored around each other doing the most mundane things. They honestly enjoy the smallest things and as Jungkook said “These simple things were fun” (referring to walking around the streets of Tokyo with Jimin in 2017)

They create their happiness and fun anywhere they are doing anything …..

It’s just the little things….

Little 5 year olds playing after lights out😂

*Jungkook loves making Jimin laugh

This is something we all already knew but seeing it again in AYS was so cute. Jungkook really loves making Jimin laugh and I guess that the fact that Jimin is usually ready to have all his teeth out laughing and any little thing Jungkook does, gives him more motivation. Jungkook doesn’t mind looking like a clown if it means that it will make Jimin laugh. He teases him even sometimes just to get a chuckle out of him.

* Jimin finds Jungkook very endearing

Do I even need to explain this? Sometimes it feels like to Jimin, Jungkook is the cutest, most endearing, funniest person in the world. I don’t think we see Jimin laugh around any other people as much as he laughs around Jungkook. The man is a giggling mess anytime he is around Jungkook and I can’t even blame him because Jungkook sure likes making him laugh. He sometimes gets lost in Jungkook too you know….

*Jikook just get each other

Another thing I noticed again in AYS is how much Jikook just get each other. They don’t need words ti understand how the other feels. Doesn’t matter if they are being silly or serious, they just get what the other person is trying to express.

An example of this would be while they were at the ham and pink sausage restaurant in Jeju, after their little “incident” Jungkook immitated a meme which someone did when he needed an apology and Jimin understood what Jungkook needed immediately just by seeing him immitating that meme, and he apologized.

(First clip from this compilation)

Another moment that showed how much they just get each other was in episode 8 when Jungkook noticed that Jimin felt sad about the trip ending. Jimin didn’t say anything but Jungkook noticed it and starting doing stuff to cheer him on starting from playfully touching his head (even though he knew Jimin didn’t like when his head got touched) and reminding everyone that Jimin doesn’t like it bit he is doing it, to teasing him with the camera in his face infront of the restaurant to opening the windows of the car on their drive to the airport because he knew Jimin had said he goes to cold places when he is is a slump.

Touching his head

Playfully zooming into his face with the camera

Opening the windows to let the cold air in to lift their moods:

We also saw him being soft and reassuring to Jimin after he sensed that Jimin felt bad about the trip ending. What he says here, how he looks at Jimin and how he rubs Jimin’s nape/back trying to comfort him, was so beautiful.

* Jungkook likes zooming into Jimin’s face

Do I even need to explain this part? We’ve seen him do this for years and it was kinda funny to see it again on AYS

*Jimin is Jungkook’s Jungkook!

I don’t even know how to explain this other than saying than showing you this….

Jimin constantly singing Jungkook’s “3D” as “peuriri” and constantly going “standing next to you” every two seconds is so Jungkook of him. Jungkook gets a taste of his own medicine and doesn’t know how to handle it.

*They clearly keep up with each other/ they know each other so well

Contrary to haters beliefs that Jikook don’t keep up with each other outside of content, it is clear that they do. We saw it when Jimin dropped “Face” and we saw it again on AYS with Jimin and singing Jungkook’s song before it was released, Jimin knowing about Jungkook’s schedules, Jungkook knowing about Jimin’s second album release and even seeing the video of Jimin dancing with kids. Infact during the Jeju and Sapporo episodes, it was so obvious to see that those two knew alot about each other’s activities, schedules and plans. You didn’t see them getting surprised after getting information about each other.

To add to this, it was very clear that Jungkook knows what Jimin likes and vice versa. He knew Jimin would like his food spicy, he knew Jimin would enjoy the beef stew he cooked in Jeju. Jimin knew Jungkook would enjoy climbing and racing so he picker that place. Jimin knew Jungkook liked driving abroad, Jimin knew Jungkook had to go to the US to film with Usher etc. No arguments here.

* Jungkook loves to cook for Jimin

We already knew this but this was once again confirmed in AYS.

* The people around Jikook know how much Jikook are around each other.

Over the years, we have heard from members and people around Jikook say just how much time Jikook spend together and we once again got something like that from AYS.

Tae saw Jk do the soju bottle trick and immediately assumed that Jimin taught him. This is something that many people would miss but If Jikook didn’t have a habit of being together alot and drinking together, Tae who actually knows two of them personally wouldn’t have immediately assumed Jimin taught Jk that trick after seeing him do it and the funniest thing is, Jimin said Jk didn’t even learn it from him so why didn’t Tae think of anyone else or even assume that Jk learnt from tiktok or youtube? Why did his mind immediately go to Jimin? Jimin is not the only member or only person connected to Jungkook who drinks Soju. It was interesting getting yet again another confirmation of just how much the members and people around Jikook know about them being together alot.

*Taekook and Jikook are NOT the same.

I’m sure everyone already knows this but watching the Jeju episodes with Vminkook just once again showed how much of a difference there is between Jk bond with Tae and Jimin.

While some jikookers didn’t like the fact that Tae joined Jikook in Jeju, I loved it because I love seeing vminkook together as they are adorable and also because when they are together, you really get to see the difference in their dynamics. It was very noticeable how Tae and Jk bring out the chaos, playfulness and childishness from each other and they have so much fun doing activities together but you could see clearly that those two just don’t gravitate to each other in the same way Jikook do. By gravitating to each other I don’t mean sitting side by sideto have meals and none of that nonsense taekookers consider people gravitating towards each other. What I mean is, even if Jikook are not seated together, it was easy to see how their eyes searched for each other while they talked. While they all discussed, it was easy to see that Jk’s eyes mostly searched for Jimin’s and vice versa, it was easy to see how they mostly talked to and interacted with each other more during meals even though Tae was there. It was easy to see how they usually stayed with each other after their baths and only went to bed together while Tae always went to bed earlier. It was easy to see how when ever they had meals, Jikook would always look to each other to ask “is it good” regardless of whether they were alone or with Tae. They spoke to each other more, interacted more and even when Jk tasted something that seemed familiar to what he had had before, he looked to Jimin to ask if it was what they had at another restaurant at some point.

They understand each other in ways others don’t. They quickly get each other’s jokes while Tae sometimes looked a little lost. They have the same humor infact, you just cannot miss to see the difference when you pay attention. It was as clear as day and night.

It was also clear that unlike Jikook, taekook don’t really feel the need to be around each other much when they aren’t actively doing anything. We all saw how early tae usually went to bed not caring alot to hang around Jk, we saw how much time he spent on his phone even while they all were together, we all saw how even when Jk got out of the pool just after Tae did in episode 5, he didn’t go to shower at the same time Tae did. We Tae leave to shower and go to bed while Jk stayed behind teasing and playing with Jimin before they showered and later went to bed together around 4am. It was the same thing that happened the night before. Jk was clearly thoughtful of Tae and wanted him to feel included but we could see that he didn’t really feel the need being around him much because if he did he probably would have showered and gone to stay upstairs with Tae but he didn’t. He stayed downstairs with Jimin and they only left for bed together while tae was already asleep. This isn’t new as we know Jikook have always loved spending time alone together at nights and in their quiet moments but it was interesting to see unfold in AYS.

Remember all the times members (especially Tae) mentioned Jikook being together alot at nights? Some people said he lied all those times because he was hiding his relationship but we could all see that happen in AYS. It happened on both nights they were there.

While Jikook have this strong gravitational pull and enjoy being around each other’s vicinity at all times and not just when there are fun activities or other things to be done, we could see that this wasn’t the same with taekook. Tae felt like napping, he went upstairs to nap, Jimin felt like napping, he napped in the living room next to Jungkook who was cooking. Over the years, we have tons of moments where Jk could be seen going to sit or sleep by an already sleeping Jimin. They crave each other’s presence even when they aren’t doing anything but this isn’t the same for taekook and AYS confirmed that once again.

*Jikook are so domestic

Watching AYS, it was so easy to see just how domestic Jikook are. We got an opportunity to have a look into what their lives and days look like when they are not busy being idols and it was the most comforting beautiful thing ever. Them waking up and going to cuddle each other, cooking together eating together, going shopping together with Jungkook disappearing and getting on Jimin’s nerves😂, have little discussion’s together, drinking together, watching and reacting to a show of themselves together, making plans to eat, sleep, shower, play etc together, it was just so perfect. Perfectly and positively boring everyday life yet they looked like they had so much fun doing all of that TOGETHER!

*They have the most random conversations and do the weirdest things

Just jimin casually talking about wanting to sculpt his ass and Jungkook listening attentively😂

Whatever this conversation was……

I don’t know what goes on in their minds

Whatever this was

*Jungkook loves Jimin’s attention /loves to tease him to get it

*Jungkook is inlove with FOOD!

He looks at food like true love😂

*Jikook could be sus sometimes or most of the time tbh

Whatever this was…..

I mean….

This taken out of context…..

Hmmmmmm……

*Jikook like to bicker

They bicker sometimes like an old married couple

*Jimin and Jungkook loved their trips with each other!

Do I even need to explain this? I feel like the entire episode 8 explains this pretty well.

Ok, so these are some of my observations about Jikook from AYS. I might be editing this post in the future to add some more observations as I rewatch the entire show to see if I can catch other things I missed. Consider this my review of the show.

[mariasont]

smut = ✧ clean (ish) = ♡ angst = ✩

this list goes oldest to newest (idk why i did it that way but im too lazy to change it)

fics:

✧ our minds entwined WIP paused!

one shots:

✧ hands, hands and hands: spencer and you compare hands

✧ framed fascination: you wear glasses for the first time

♡ climb you like a tree: you tell spencer you’re going to climb him like a tree… not meaning it the way it comes out

♡ sundress season: spencer helps you out with some research and gets more than he bargained for

✩chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: in which spencer choses the drugs over you

♡ sweater: in which you struggle with your body and spencer helps you

♡ ✩ beyond the grave: spencer fakes his death and comes back into your life like nothing happened

♡ brooding: goth!bimbo!reader wants to sketch spencer but he won't stand still!

♡ arachnophobia: you compare spencer to a spider in an attempt to flirt

♡ i want it in ink: spencer finds your secret tattoo… with his initials

✩ ♡ when the swallows come again: spencer blames you for maeve’s death…or does he

✩ ♡ be so stupid: you make a mistake while on a case nearly getting spencer killed, morgan has some choice words and spencer is ready to beat his ass over it

✧♡ looking after you: you have called off sick for a few days now and spencer has been "looking after you". spencer gets caught red handed when morgan and garcia drop by

♡ fangirl: you're the newest member and you have a slightest obsession with dr. reid and his works.

♡ make a wish: shy!reader gets a little flustered anytime post!prison spencer comes around

♡ thump, thump: in which you and spencer get stuck in a cramped closet together

♡ schoolboy-esque: spencer and hotch spend the day competing for your attention

✩ messy: spencer is determined to get you to let him in as your depression takes a bigger hold than you imagined

♡ where hand lead: spencer discovers just how much you love his hands and is incessant on teasing you

shy!media-liasion!reader

♡ make a wish: shy!reader gets a little flustered anytime post!prison spencer comes around

♡ i aim to please: post!prison spencer thinks shy!reader deserves more compliments

bimbo!receptionist!reader

♡ the receptionist: spencer meets chief cruz’s new receptionist

♡ lip gloss: in which spencer really likes bimbo!receptionist!reader 's sparkly lip gloss

♡ dress code: in which spencer reid doesn't appreciate an agent questioning the length of bimbo!receptionist!reader’s skirt

♡ cause im a sinner: you keep singing the lyrics wrong and spencer has to fight the urge to correct you

♡ tie a tie: bimbo!receptionist!reader asks for spencer’s help with tying a tie

✧ undo you: spencer and bimbo!receptionist!reader having sexy time!

♡ tedium: spencer is not having the best time at the FBI gala, well, until bimbo!receptionist!reader shows up

♡ sticky situations: you decide to pepper spencer's face with kisses in the morning, not realizing he had a big meeting later

[riaki]

guys pls consider… lifeguard!gojo bit inspired by a post i saw a long time ago from @/shotorus, thank u sel + inez !

lifeguard!gojo, who signs you in for a pool session and gives you the wrong time-slot wristband because he’s too busy gawking at you with hearts in his blue eyes to notice he registered you to swim for 12pm-2pm. when, in reality, it’s 4pm in the afternoon and the hot sun is slowly sinking in the sky.

lifeguard!gojo, who mistakes your polite attempts to correct him as signs of disinterest; he sees things through romance-tinted glasses. of course he can't keep a wounded pride, and so he makes it his saturday afternoon goal to win your heart. after all, who in their right mind would reject him in all his dashing chlorine scented glory?

lifeguard!gojo, who reintroduces himself all suave and cool and he thinks it's working mid-hair slick-back— until he gets smacked in the face by a stray rubber ball, and his sunglasses go flying. it leaves a red spot of hashmarks on his nose, like the ball was a cookie cutter and he was the dough. but he doesn't mind, because he got to hear your pretty laugh as you pick up his shades and hand them back to him, albeit at his own expense. you even say a cute thing or two about the chipped popsicle sticker on the frame.

lifeguard!gojo, who's unreasonably (and immaturely) upset over the fact he can't seductively rub sunscreen into your back because you already have beforehand. but he's not complaining; it smells good when he's forced a little closer to you to avoid a rampaging train of kids running across the pool deck. he should yell at them, but the smell of summery citrus and sea salt wafting on the humid breeze distracts him.

lifeguard!gojo, who pours every ounce of his remaining energy into gettin your attention the entire time you're there— with loud whistle blows from the scribble-adorned plastic whistle hanging from his neck, grabbing your attention, only to just offer a charming wink in your direction. or, squeezing idle small talk between every lap you swim, teasing you with a lazy grin on his lips from under his shaded lifeguard stand when you complain about the heat of the blazing sun.

lifeguard!gojo, who ropes his poor, exhausted snack stand friend with the blonde hair and dark shadows beneath his eyes into helping him— when you give up on swimming laps and begrudgingly let him convince you into going down the waterslides as if you’re a nine year old with neon pink inflatable buoy rings around your arms.

lifeguard!gojo, who forces nanami (snack stand man) to ‘accidentally’ send you down the slide early— you’re caught up in the surprise, the sound of rushing water and kids shouting and a cicada’s buzz filling your ears— and before you know it you’re tossed into the bottom of the pool by the stream of water, disoriented and panicking until two steady arms fish you out of the pool.

lifeguard!gojo, who ‘rescues you from drowning’ holding you bridal style to his chest with his sunglasses balanced on the edge of his nose, letting you catch a glimpse of his uncanny blue eyes hidden beneath his dripping white hair. his whistle lanyard hangs loosely around his neck, drawing a line down the center of his toned chest.

lifeguard!gojo, who can’t help but double over as he laughs obnoxiously— boyishly when he gets to watch your face flush cherry as you scramble to get out of his arms and fall straight back into the refreshing water with a splash.

lifeguard!gojo, who’s forced to reconcile with what he thinks is defeat when he gets you kicked out of the pool early because of his earnest registering mistake— and in doing so, you forget your ring on the pool deck. it's just your luck— you don't even realize it until the sun's almost set and you’re halfway home.

lifeguard!gojo, who’s cleaning up and getting ready to close for the night when he spots a gleam of silver reflecting the hazy purple sunset, and he recognizes it as your jewelry (even though that was the first time he ever met you). of course he'd remember it— he'd been absentmindedly staring at your fingers, burning them into his mind; imagining how they'd feel in his damp hair.

lifeguard!gojo, who slips your ring into his pocket after trying it on and marveling at how small your hands must be in comparison to his.

lifeguard!gojo, who’s cleaning out the gutters, waist deep in the pool, when he hears your voice again— pretty like birdsong in the spring, dew gathering on the fragile petals of blooming petals.

lifeguard!gojo, who waits for you to come in— the gate was unlocked— and watches as you kneel on the concrete deck, elbows on your knees as you smile down at him. you look really cute, with your hair falling over your face like that, framed by the dying sunlight.

lifeguard!gojo, who’s a little disheartened when you tell him all you came back for was your ring, and not him. or his phone number.

lifeguard!gojo, who disappears beneath the water for a moment— then resurfaces from the pool dripping wet, hair clinging to his face while he acts as though he'd found your ring at the bottom of the pool. "it's stainless steel, yeah? don't worry about rust." he reassures you with a chuckle when you panic; he thinks it's cute.

lifeguard!gojo, who holds the ring just out of your grasp when you make a grab for it, laughing as you almost fall right into the pool.

lifeguard!gojo, who tells you he'll only give it back if you give him your phone number in exchange as he climbs out of the pool and sits next to you, on the gutters, the sound of rushing water filling his ear.

lifeguard!gojo, who, sitting by your side, focuses on the way the pool looks with the lights turned on, an ethereal underwater dreamscape distorted by the incessant moving water. a way of distracting himself from how beautiful you look in the painted sunset.

lifeguard!gojo, who gets his first taste of you when you ask him to face you; you muffle his yelp of surprise, but it doesn’t matter because you taste even better than you smell, a sweetness like crystal rock candy and blueberries on his tongue when his lips meet yours.

lifeguard!gojo, who takes the opportunity to catch your wrist and slide your ring back onto your finger with a quick lingering kiss to your cheek; his lips are a little wet from his earlier pool dip, but the dreamy look in your eyes tells him you don’t mind.

lifeguard!gojo, who sees you out, still riding on the thrill of your lips; the pride in his chest now that he's got your contact saved on his phone with an excessive amount of heart emojis and a (˘ڡ˘ς) next to your name.

lifeguard!gojo, who can't wait for the next time you come back to the pool, and who ignores the angry slew of texts from his boss scolding him for leaving the gate unlocked in favor of the selfie you send him.

you: [ one image attached ]

lifeguard boy 🛟🤍 : GAYATTTTT LET ME HIT PLSPLSPLSS 🙈🙈😝😝😝😋😋🤞🔥🔥🔥⁉️‼️🔞💯💯😼😻💺💺🗽

bonus: nanami gets u two popsicles to share tagging @sugumimi NAOMI I HOPE THIS IS WHAT U WERE TALKING AB my (riaki) stuff. don’t repost and/or plagiarize !

[lousycapy]

How statistics can easily be manipulated to fit a certain agenda in Formula 1

Hello! I’ve seen a lot of f1 fans or media sources bring up statistics incorrectly to prove their points recently, which is really getting on my nerves. So here is a comprehensive guide, with examples, of how statistics work and why they are not the be-all and end-all some people might think them to be. This is a pretty long post, so the explanations are all below the cut. With that, I hope you find this useful!

Multiple factors come into play when analyzing a statistic, so I’ve separated them in different categories: what data set is used to make the stat, how the stat can be interpreted and how being factually correct doesn’t equate a valid argument :

THE DATA SET

To make a statistic, you first need values which correspond to a data set. What said data set is made of is very relevant to the exactitude of the stat and how much regard should be given to it.

For example, to determine the average lap times of a driver over a stint you would need to divide the sum of all lap times by the number of laps executed. Which means that theoretically you could use a single lap as an average, e.g. 1:57:325/1 which gives an average lap time of 1:57:325s.

However, as you might imagine this stat is not representative of a driver’s stint, since the lap chosen to be analyzed could very well be an outlier. That’s why sample sizes matter, the more values make up your data set, the more representative of reality the result obtained is.

It is also important to know what the data set consists of. Let’s reuse our average lap times of a driver over a stint example, are outlaps/inlaps included? Is it based on clean air, dirty air? Are there laps excluded due to driver mistakes (e.g. going off track)? A stat being presented without any explanation of how it was calculated is absolutely worthless.

Finally, comprehension of the data set is very valuable as well.

Let’s imagine this fictional scenario where Ferrari makes Charles and Carlos compare average lap times. They both use the same car, on the same track, on the same tires, at the same time, for a stint of a total of 10 laps. Both drivers average a lap time of 80.125s over their whole stint, so is the conclusion that they have both done the exact same thing accurate? No!

Despite having the same average lap times in this scenario, the data set suggests a different conclusion, and different trends. Considering stints in a race are going to be longer than 10 laps, it can be assumed that Charles would average better lap times thanks to his consistency compared to Carlos, who would get worse lap times as time passes as can be observed thanks to the trend line in his graph.

2. INTERPRETATION OF THE DATA

Now that we can recognize the importance of the data set and its constituents, it is time to understand how the data provided can be used to make a statistic.

More than one answer can be correct based on the same sample of data. Despite using the same set, depending on how the data is used it can lead to different statistics that drive different arguments both being factually correct.

For example, I’d like to refer to the wonderful basspro24chevy World’s Destructor Chamionship from Brazil 24 on Reddit in an effort of determining who is the most destructive driver. Here is a chart I’ve made which also includes number of races each driver took part in (Ollie not included I was too lazy to recalculate how it affects the drivers he’s replaced’s damage bill) and the average cost of damage per race of each driver.

Based on these statistics, both arguments could be made to justify either Checo being the most destructive driver, since he’s the one who’s cost his team the most damage over the whole season, or Franco, since he’s the one who on average costs the most for his team per weekend.

Depending on someone’s biases, they could make some drivers look better than others despite using the same data set as another person, and depending on how their argument is justified even if they end up with a different conclusion it doesn’t mean they aren’t right as well.

3. FACTUALLY CORRECT ≠ VALID ARGUMENT

Even if you are factually correct with your statistic’s interpretation, and it is based on an acceptable data set, it doesn’t mean it has a direct link of causality with your argument and provides validation to the point you are trying to make.

For example, someone could argue that Checo is a safer pair of hands in races than Pierre, because over the course of the 2024 season he has DNFed 2 out of 21 races, meanwhile Pierre has DNFed 3 out of 21 races. However, the point being argued here is which driver is a safer pair of hands, and other variables than the drivers come into play when discussing those two’s DNFs.

Indeed, Checo drives a RedBull with a Honda engine, whilst Pierre drives an Alpine with a Renault engine. Out of Checo’s 2 DNFs, 2 were caused by driver mistakes. Out of Pierre’s 3 DNFs, 3 were caused by engine issues. The World’s Destructor Championship can also be used as a counterpoint to Checo being a safer pair of hands than Pierre by comparing damage bills.

Thus, instead of the conclusion being that Checo is a safer pair of hands than Pierre, the DNFs statistic is more appropriate to conclude that the Honda engine is more reliable than the Renault engine.

Which means that to make a valid argument, you need to be able to explain why the statistic presented is relevant and what it suggests. Alleviating circonstances also need to be taken into account to solidify the point being made.

For example, let’s imagine a scenario where Fernando is 1.235s off Lance during a qualifying run. To use this stat in an argument, you need to be able to justify why he was so far off. Was it genuine pace? Did he make a mistake which ruined the lap? Were they on the same tires? Was it track evolution? Are they on the same setup? Did Fernando come across traffic? Did Lance get a significant tow?

Contextualization matters twice as much as the actual statistic being presented, because the statistic without context can easily be manipulated in a way to drive a certain agenda.

4. CONCLUSION

All in all, what I’m trying to say is that even maths can be used to drive agendas. Statistics can not be taken at face value, because there are multiple factors that can influence their relevance. I hope you found this little guide helpful, and that it will help you analyze better the information you see online on how drivers are performing (or argue better with crazed fans, you do you 🫡)

Thanks for reading and have a good day!

[ghsttk]

fruits for breakfast.

Scenario: You and Johnny decide to have breakfast in bed...

Warnings: smut, female reader, oral sex, reader receiving and johnny giving, unprotected sex, p in v, slight praise kink, dirty talk ig, dom!johnny and sub!reader, written by a virgin lol.

Words: 2k (I'm sorry)

a/n: I'm using Grammarly to correct my silly writing mistakes, I hope it's fine now. And, again, no one reviewed this before I posted. Spoiler: no, there are no fruits.

It's morning, the quietness is quite comfortable. The window is open, the curtains gracefully flowing with the gentle wind, it's a pretty day. And even lovelier is the man lying asleep next to you, your dear husband Johnny. It’s his day off, thankfully, since this man works so hard, he deserves a break.

You stroke his smooth cheek, watching him sleeping, smiling warmly. Johnny stirs, feeling your touch on him. His eyes flutter open and he smiles, his hand moving to your waist, holding you. “Good morning, sweetie,” He murmurs, a bit sleepy. “You slept well?” His thumb caresses your waist, his grip tightening slightly.

You hum as a yes, nodding ever so slightly. You snuggle closer to him, laying your head on your husband's chest. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. “Feeling clingy today, baby?” He teases with a small chuckle. “Can't I enjoy my man's presence now?” You retort with a smirk, he laughs softly and presses a kiss on the top of your head. “I missed you too, sweetheart…”

Johnny looks down at you and smiles warmly, eyes filled with love and adoration, stroking your back. You look up back at him “Let’s have a lazy day today, honey?” you suggest, your hands massaging his chest and shoulders aimlessly. Johnny nods with a hum, his eyes closing and opening slowly.

“What do you want for breakfast, hubby?” You mumble against his bare chest, your lips brushing against his warm skin. He shivers softly at the sensation, his left hand moving up to tangle your hair. “Something sweet, maybe” He strokes your hair. “Something juicy” He licks his lips, looking down at you. “Sweet and juicy…” You echo, thinking. “Would you like a fruit salad? I could even sprinkle sugar on it” 

He smirks softly, his eyes almost closed. “A fruit salad? sounds delicious, darling” He whispers and kisses your temple. “Yeah?” You chuckle softly and kiss his lips tenderly. “I will get a bowl for you” You try to turn away to leave the bed but Johnny holds your waist tightly, stopping you. “A bowl?” He chuckles and you frown your eyebrows slightly, confused. “Yes, my dear… A bowl for the fruits, the fruit salad” You explain, still trying to understand the reason behind his reaction.

“Why, silly?” He teases you and pulls you closer again. “There’s a delicious pair of apples right here” His hand slides up your waist, cupping one of your clothed breasts. You gasp softly in surprise. “Johnny..” You breathe against his skin, his fingers gently tighten his grip around your breast in response, a squeeze. “Yes, baby?” He whispers in a low tone, his thumb brushing against your clothered nipple, feeling it harden under his digit. “You like it, huh?”

You squirm once, pressing your lips together. “No no no, baby… let me hear you” He kisses your lips, letting it linger for a few seconds. You deepen the kiss, gently nibbling his lower lip. He squeezes your breast harder, his tongue asking for entrance into your mouth. You moan against his lips, loving his hands on you.

Johnny moves, breaking the kiss, he turns you to lay on your back while he hovers over you. He leans down and kisses your neck, a hand resting on your shoulder. Your hands, in turn, go to his bare chest, gently scratching it with your long nails. He hisses, getting aroused with the mix of slight pain and pleasure from your scratches.

His fingers slide the strings of your babydoll dress down your arms, exposing your chest to his hungry eyes. “So beautiful, my love, so delicious..” He whispers, licking his lips. Johnny has seen you naked countless times before, but he won’t ever get tired of the sight, his heart pounds and his cock throbs every single time like it’s the first. 

He bobs his head down, his lips spreading until it touches your skin. His tongue swirls on your nipple and he sucks your breast, his teeth slightly grazing on it. Johnny’s hand goes under your breast, squeezing it to make it fit in his mouth. He sucks, nibbles, and kisses your breast, worshiping it. You moan, arching your back. Your hands move from his chest to his hair, gently tugging the smooth strands and pushing his head against your breast, keeping him there. 

He smiles against your skin, finding your eagerness amusing, and travels his other hand down your stomach, leaving goosebumps all the way down until he reaches your thighs. He strokes your sensitive skin, making you shiver. “Oh, Johnny…” You gasp, calling. “Hm?” He leans back, looking into your eyes, before leaning down again to cup your other breast with his lips.

“Tell me, darling. What does my pretty girl want?” He whispers against your skin, his lips close around your nipple, sucking it. His hand, once on your thigh, slides up your inner thighs, his fingers barely touching your skin, making you shiver. Johnny knows how to touch you, what makes you moan and tremble beneath him. His fingers finally reach your heat, sliding a finger between the covered slit, feeling the dampness through the thin fabric of your underwear. You don't have to tell him what to do, he knows your favorite spots like the palm of his hand.

You moan, your legs twitching. He gives your nipple a final lick before trailing kisses down your stomach, his tongue occasionally moving out to lick your skin. When he finally reaches the sweet spot, he raises your knees and spreads your legs further. Johnny looks into your eyes and smirks, his lips close but not touching you. “I won’t have to beg, will I?” You whine. “Please, Johnny…”

He chuckles. “I didn’t say anything and you’re already begging, such a good girl” He closes his eyes and presses a kiss on your clothed clit, making you moan. His hands move up from your knees to your hips, traveling by your inner thighs. He hooks his thumbs under the waistband of your panties and gently pulls them down, slowly and patiently. Johnny licks his lips, he's eating your wetness with his eyes already, finally throwing your panties in a corner. 

He leans even closer, sniffing the scent of arousal from your intimacy, a smell that he adores. He feels his cock throbbing in his sweatpants, but he ignores it for now. He nudges his nose tip on your folds, eliciting a delicious gasp from your mouth. Johnny sticks out his tongue, giving a long lick on the inner lips, spreading them apart, his eyes close as he savors the taste. “You’re sweeter than any fruit, my honey..” Johnny praises, his lips closing around your inner lips and giving a gentle tug, sucking.

Your mouth opened in surprise and pleasure, your hands gripping his hair tighter. You buck your hips against his face, craving more. He groans softly against your folds, making gentle vibrations. Johnny wraps his arms around your thighs, holding you in place. He starts eating you out like your pussy is a delicious, juicy watermelon, he buries his face and makes a mess, smearing your arousal all over his face. He lashes several licks, kisses, and sucks, worshiping your intimacy.

Johnny acts like a starved man, and that’s not completely wrong considering he’s always hungry for you, no matter how many times he has seen your body, it’s always like the first time. His fingers join the fun, resting his palm on your pubic bone and brushing your clit with his thumb, eliciting whimpers from you. After a few minutes, he repositions his hand, sliding his middle finger inside your tight, velvet cave. His other hand keeps holding your thigh.

He keeps licking and flicking against your clit, the pace of his finger thrusting matching with his tongue. He inserts another finger, curling the two upwards to caress your insides. “L-Love, please..” You plead, squeaking. Your insides clenching around his fingers, you feel yourself getting wetter. “Please what, baby?” He whispers against your pussy, his warm breath hitting your skin. You whine, since he stopped licking. “Use your words.” He commands, firmly. 

You take a deep breath, inhaling air. “Honey, please… I need to cum, please.” You beg, fingers still tugging his hair. He groans softly, pleased by your answer and your hands on his hair. He gives a final suck on your clit before shifting his position, coming up to face you again. 

Johnny leans down to kiss your jawline and neck, his teeth nipping your skin. “I’ll make you cum around me, would you like that?” He whispers between kisses. You nod, at this point you would accept anything as long as it makes you release. Your hands are on his shoulders, gripping his muscles. He caresses your waist, his thumb gently pressing against your skin.

Johnny's right-hand goes down, wrapping around his girth. He strokes himself a few times, brushing the mushroom head against your folds. He uses your arousal mixed with his saliva as lube, inserting just the head and then pulling it out. “Johnny…” You groan, frustrated with his teasing, impatient.

He chuckles against your neck, leaving a few kisses as an apology. Johnny slowly pushes forward, holding his breath as he watches your face. He pulls back, then pushes in again, going a little deeper. He repeats the motion, picking up speed. He exhales once fully settled, feeling your inner walls gripping him. He moans softly and slides his hands to your hips, holding you close. “Fuck…” He breathes.

Johnny links his lips with yours, kissing you heatedly. You moan against his lips, your nails scratching his chest, making him groan. His tongue invades your mouth, just like his dick was invading your pussy. He breaks the kiss gently, turning his head to look at the spot where your bodies meet. The sight of his cock stretching your insides never fails to arouse him, leaving a feeling of satisfaction in him.

He could feel your walls trembling, an urge to go even deeper takes control of him. “You’re so tight, so wet” He moans softly. Johnny holds your hips tighter and pistons his hips against yours, he lifts your hips slightly, making the tip of his member hit your sweet spot. You squeak and moan, rolling your eyes back in pleasure. Johnny places his hand on your lower belly, he can see the bulge of his mushroom head sliding in and out of you, and that’s enough to bring him to the edge, making his breath ragged.

But he wants to make you come first, so he sticks out his thumb and rubs your clit in tight circular motions. Your legs tremble, your moans becoming higher, he smirks in satisfaction. He leans to whisper in your ear. “Let it go for me, baby... You’re doing so fucking great.” He nibs your earlobe, his pace never faltering. You feel your orgasm coming, the need to release growing. Johnny whispers more words of encouragement, telling you how tight you grip his cock, how wet you are for him, how much he loves the feeling.

Then, it crashes down like a wave, leaving your body buzzing. Your inner walls contract impossibly tight around him, milking him. Shivers go down his spine, his lemons tightening and the pressure growing, until he can’t hold back. He buries himself deep inside, releasing thick ropes of cum. He shudders from the strength of his orgasm.

Panting, Johnny whispers sweet nothings in your ear, still thrusting inside, now gentler, prolonging your pleasure. He pulls it out and kisses your face. “That was amazing, darling” He breathes. You look at his face and smile, still recovering your breath, and your hands cup his cheeks. “I love you, honey” You whisper and kiss his nose tip. “I love you more, my queen.” He smiles. “You ready?”

“Ready for what?” You chuckle and, suddenly, he picks you up in bridal style. You laugh in surprise. “Ready to get pampered, it’s a reward.” He winks and carries you to the bathroom. Now, that was a wonderful way to start the day.

a/n: I don't know if this is too cringe, I hope it's bearable... And I couldn't use the word "banana", I find it so fucking funny, sorry KMKKJ.

taglist (thank you for the support!♡): @drugs-and-daddyissues

-- If you want to be tagged, just dm me!

[glubsurleseuil]

Don't be scared - Chapter 1

This is the first chapter - Next

A Pennywise X F!Reader fanfic 'cause I need to get these ideas out of my head before they eat me up. I'll post this thing on AO3 when I'm not so lazy to create an account. If I go ahead with it, it'll be NSFW, sexually disturbing, gory, violent, reader is an autistic drepressed suicidal girl… In short, skip it if you're a sensitive soul. For the rest of you, enjoy (I hope).

(Note: It was translated by Deepl, English is not my mother tongue, so I apologise for any mistakes. If you want to correct me, don't hesitate!)

(Note 2: The image is by @fandomscreenshots but you should already know that because what she does is amazing)

You've always lived in Derry, Maine. Well, actually you were born in Derry, went to school in Derry and, like any good citizen, you now work in Derry. You don't like it, you never have, and you know that no matter what you do, you'll never like it.

Firstly, because no matter how hard you try since childhood, you just can't seem to make any friends. Worse, people seem to have agreed to shut you out and hate you. At best, they ignore you, at worst… well, let's just say there are certain people you've learned to avoid at all costs, so you don't have to spend the evening licking your wounds…

Secondly, because there's something unhealthy about the general atmosphere of this town, as if it were being devoured by a cancer that affected not only the surrounding greenery, but also the buildings and even the people. A cancer that could be called suffering, melancholy or despair. And although no one knows where these feelings come from, everyone seems to accept them as an inevitable burden.

Tonight, like most evenings, you're working at the Canal Rouge, a rather quiet bar where people can drink and listen to local artists perform on a small stage. You're a waitress, and it's not the most pleasant of jobs, especially when you're a woman. Fortunately, your boss is a woman too, and she's very strict about the respect customers show her staff, so things could be a lot worse.

But tonight, you're in a particularly bad mood. Fatigue has always been a difficult thing for you to deal with, and lately your nights have been… tormented. You've been having a dream, always the same with little difference, on and off for over a week. It's a hazy, dark, incoherent dream that's hard to remember. What you remember most is anguish, fear… and an unbearable feeling of being watched by something dangerous, making you feel like prey waiting to be devoured. When your therapist asked you to describe this dream, even with random words, you said 'fear', 'red' and… 'clown'. You laughed after saying that last word, a nervous, uncontrolled laugh, like a continuation of the one you always hear in this dream before waking up.

But tonight, the worst is yet to come, because you have to serve Jenny's gang as consumers, young people your own age who, like you, are stuck in Derry and like to pass the time by annoying other people. Especially you, since you met them in kindergarten. You know you won't be able to get home safely tonight…

And your fears are confirmed as you finish your shift. As you emerge into the alley to which the service door leads, you see them laughing at the end of it, looking in your direction. This is the way home. You quickly think of another option, but you know that even if you take a longer route, they'll be able to corner you sooner or later, and that's what they'll do. Unless… you go through the forest…

You don't hesitate, knowing that your pursuers won't follow. Their parents have given them the same instructions as you: never go into the forest at night. Ever. Your father had made it clear that he meant business by emphasizing his order with the back of his hand. But tonight, you're a grown-up, and between your dead father's old superstitions and Jenny and her gang's guaranteed beating, the choice was quickly made.

You head into the forest, at first more worried about your pursuers who, as expected, quickly abandon their target. Then you decide to turn on the torch on your phone, as it quickly becomes very dark between the tightly packed trees in the middle of the night. You recognize the path you're on and follow it to the ancient oak tree where you used to climb as a child to escape the bullies. But even this place, reassuring by day, gives off a menacing aura by night…

All is quiet, too quiet for a forest where animals should be going about their nocturnal lives. You get the impression that a kind of fog is floating around, light but unnatural, and as you look at the thick branches of the oak tree, you get a strange feeling… Like a memory from another life… Like a dream…

Suddenly, there's a sound. A sound you know well, having heard it every night for over a week. A laugh. A clown's laugh… You turn in all directions, shining your phone in every nook and cranny around the oak. And just as you realize that there's nothing there, that maybe it's your imagination playing tricks on you, the laughter starts up again. You jump back against the tree, light pointed ahead, anticipating the appearance of someone, something… The laughter becomes more distinct, closer… But it's not coming from in front of you, nor from the sides… It comes… from above?

With a quick gesture, you point the light towards the branches of the oak tree and there, hidden in the shadows of the leaves, you see it: a clown. No, THE clown. The one who has haunted your dreams, distressed your nights, devoured your sanity. This present moment has repeated itself endlessly in your nightmare and now it's all happening for real, clear as day and just as terrifying.

With a muffled scream, you drop your phone, the lamp face down and your legs buckling beneath you. The little light that escapes from beneath your phone only faintly illuminates the bottom of the tree, but you know IT's there.

And it's not long before he leaps down from the tree. You can only make out a silhouette in the darkness, and as you hear him coming closer, you try to remember the end of the dream. It's all a blur, and all that comes back is a vague memory of a hunt in which you are the prey… Back on the grassy ground, you pull yourself back as best you can with your hands, never taking your eyes off the presence. Is this how you're going to die?

He moves slowly closer, slipping into the shadows. You can make out that he's leaning forward, then addressing you in a childlike voice.

"Hiya Y/N! I'm Pennywise, the dancing clown!"

He suddenly picks up your phone from the floor, pulling it up slowly, light downwards, gradually revealing his appearance as he continues.

"I've been looking forward to meeting you, you know? Don't be scared, I'm not going to kill you…"

As he utters these words, light finally shines on his face, reflected in his abnormally large and sharp teeth, piercing yellow eyes focused on you, and horror fills you.

"… yet."

The instinct to survive gives you new energy. You leap to your feet and flee the way you came, briefly illuminated by your phone in the clown's hands. You run at full speed, ignoring the noises behind you that make you think he's chasing you. If you've got a chance of getting away, you're going to take it. In fact, the forest exit isn't far off. One last push! You close your eyes and accelerate again… when hands often clutch your collar, brutally stopping your momentum.

"There you are, you bastard!"

"I told you she'd come back! She's such a pussy!"

"No way out now, you bitch!"

Jenny and her gang… It was Tim, the big muscular guy who caught you. They were waiting for you just outside the forest…

"Why are you running so fast? Are you afraid of the big bad wolf?"

They burst out laughing, but the sound reaches you distorted. The adrenalin from your run is wearing off too slowly and you can still hear your heart pounding in your eardrums. You struggle on, your brain unable to make sense of what has just happened. Suddenly, you hear a foul noise. A kind of hoarse, inhuman growl, coming out of the depths of the woods like an echo to their pitiful mocking laughter. You feel Tim's hands trembling with uncontrollable fear on your collar and watch their faces disintegrate before your eyes. Tim lets go and they all flee in a single scream of terror, leaving you behind.

You turn around, your body still tired from your frantic run, and you quickly understand what made them flee: golden eyes, shining menacingly in the darkness, perched on a huge, muscular, fur-covered figure, its multiple sharp teeth accentuating the evil growl rolling down its throat. A werewolf.

You barely have time to realize that it's the clown from earlier before he disappears between the trees with a hoot that sends shivers down your spine. Just as you regain your strength to flee, something falls near you. You examine it carefully: it's your phone, and as you turn the screen towards you, you see a message written in a torn red font:

DON'T BE SCARED

You don't wait any longer and run towards town without looking back.

[xtarmanderx]

Too lazy to actually post a finished fic today, so here’s a snippet of a longer Ruca fic that’s coming your way soon!

-

“You and the boys go out for drinks on Tan.” Rocker says. “I’m calling it a night.” He’s got a bottle of whiskey with his name on it that he’s kept hidden for today. He’ll get most of the way through it, call in sick tomorrow, and spend most of his day curled up in Luca’s bed. Their bed, he corrects himself. He’s just not sure how much longer he’ll be welcome.

The drive home is too quiet. He turns his phone back on, tossing it into the passenger seat as it begins to light up with notifications, and they don’t stop until he’s parked on the side of the street. He’s got an incoming call from Edwards as he climbs out and he doesn’t answer, sending it straight to voicemail. He’ll call Commander Hicks first thing in the morning, but right now the bottle of an expensive bottle is calling his name. He unlocks the door and slips inside, putting in the alarm code before he locks back up. He’s not sure if Tan is coming home tonight, so he leaves the deadbolt unsecured. His gear is tossed into the bedroom and then he’s in the kitchen, kneeling in front of the sink and reaching around for the hidden bottle.

He should grab a glass, fill it with ice and take things slow, but right now he’s a glutton for punishment. The whiskey burns from the first sip and into the next, but he welcomes it and makes his way to the couch. He unlocks his phone and begins to scroll aimlessly through his notifications, guilt churning hot and heavy each time he sees Luca’s name. He should text him back, call him and apologize for being such a goddamn coward, but fear makes his heart slam against his ribs and stops him from pressing any buttons.

He settles on opening social media instead and oh god, it’s a mistake. The very first memory that shows is one of him and Val on their wedding day, young and hopelessly in love with each other. They think they’ve got forever on the horizon, can’t see the ticking clock hanging over them, and they have no idea that their vows will grow meaningless. A lump rises up in his throat and he coats it with whiskey, blinking back tears that surge from within. If he couldn’t have forever with Val, why the hell does he think he’s meant to have one with Luca?

An amicable split doesn’t make them friends. He hasn’t spoken to Val in eight months, giving her the chance at a clean break when she’d decided to move to Seattle. He clicks on her profile and sees that she’s in a relationship again, her picture showing her grinning with a man dressed like a lumberjack. He’s objectively good looking, with a full beard and bulging biceps, and his smile seems kind. Rocker starts to like the status update, but he freezes when he sees the top comment. ‘Glad to see you with a real man now.’

[ap41cu5]

Released Tension

Joseph Oda x F! Reader Rating: NSFW smut Genre: Fluff + Smut Word Count: 5351 Short synopsis: The reader and Joseph have been close friends since her recruit as a detective for the KCPD. As a result of how easily Joseph was taking it on Kidman, the new rookie, the reader grew jealous, suspecting that Joseph developed feelings for her. Luckily, they had both been called into a case that took place in a neighboring city. This resulted in the both of them having to share a hotel room together. But low and behold, there's only one bed. A/N: sorry if there's any mistakes in this bc i am too lazy to proof read all 5k+ words of my fics before posting them so i usually just edit them after but pls lmk if theres any errors or anything that sticks out to you and ill fix it :3

1:32 AM, the clock read as the car sped through the pouring rain. You and Joseph had just been ordered to go on a trip to a neighboring city near Krimson to investigate a bank robbery. Normally, these cases don’t take up too much time out of the day. But after so much time had passed of gathering evidence and performing however many arrests, you were both finally done. 

It was nice to be out of the city for once, though. It was just you and Joseph on the case tonight as well. Sebastian was out getting married to Myra, and thankfully the Lieutenant didn’t allow Kidman to accompany the both of you since she was still a rookie. Kidman had been getting on your nerves recently. At first it was just her entitled, lone-wolf attitude, but now it was how easily Joseph was taking it on her. Both you and Sebastian agreed that Kidman was odd, and Joseph seemed to be the only one to disagree. Going as far as to say that the both of you were just being sensitive.

“Whew, what a case. Took far longer than I had expected,” you stretched in your seat, your back cracking.

“I’m just glad it’s over,” Joseph replied, adjusting his glasses as he drove.

The sound of the rain splattering against the windows of the car as he cruised through the highway was strangely therapeutic. On top of the light music emitting from the speakers, you could feel your eyelids begin to get heavy. But you had to fight the urge to give into sleep. You could just barely see the hotel in the distance. The warm lighting shone through the windows, creating a very inviting atmosphere. It seemed to glow in the distance– standing out against the night blue sky.

“Feels nice to travel again, at least somewhat. I know we’re only here for the case, but it’s nice to be somewhere else other than Krimson city for once. What do you think, Jojo?” you yawned, the side of your forehead resting against the wall of the car.

You could see him glance at you for a moment before quickly returning his gaze to the road ahead. He bit the inside of his cheek for a moment as he periodically turned on the windshield wipers.

When you first started calling him the nickname ‘Jojo’, he wasn’t sure how to feel at first. He normally hated nicknames, and his first instinct normally would’ve been to correct you, but he couldn’t deny that he felt a nagging sense of warmth and fuzziness every time you’d call him the silly nickname. In a sense, it was a pinnacle for how close the two of you had become upon your recruit. 

“It’s a nice change of scenery, I agree,” Joseph replied as he adjusted his rear view mirror. “I’ll bet Sebastian is having the time of his life right now, seeing as he and Myra just got married.”

You blew a raspberry. “I’ll bet. He would’ve had to get dragged along with us to a whole different city had his wedding not been scheduled for earlier this week. Him and Myra make a good team,” you commented.

“Sebastian deserves that time off. He’s an amazing detective,” Joseph mentioned.

He seemed to contemplate something for a moment.

“Just out of curiosity,” Joseph paused for a moment. “What do you think of the new recruit, Kidman?” You huffed. You had a feeling you knew where this conversation was going.

“I just– I just don’t like her,” you curtly responded.

You could feel your heartbeat pick up at the mention of Kidman. You could just barely hear the frustrated sigh that Joseph let out through the jarring noise of the car engine.

“(First Name), please just be honest with me. You and I both know that’s not true,” Joseph retorted.

He was right. While you weren’t lying that you weren’t exactly fond of her attitude, that wasn't the whole reason you found such distaste towards her.

“I am being honest! Even Sebastian thinks there’s something off about her.” You pouted, “why are you so concerned with what I think of her, anyway?”

“It’s a bit strange, is all. You’ve been acting differently ever since her arrival. You’re my friend and I care about you. You know that,” Joseph replied.

Things like that were the reason that you fell for him. He was just so kind and compassionate, not to mention easy on the eyes.

“You’re not telling me something. I know you’re not,” added Joseph as he switched lanes.

You weren’t sure if you loved or hated that he could always see right through you.

“Can we just– can we just not talk about this right now?” You requested, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

You hated the thought of Joseph having feelings for someone else, let alone Kidman. She was beautiful. Is that all it took for Joseph to fall for her instead of you? Was there something you did, or even the way that you acted, that made him only consider you as a friend? 

Joseph didn’t respond, only sighed as he continued driving. The next few minutes were filled with awkward silence as you tried to keep yourself from crying. The fact that he brought her up showed that he cared about her, right? But why? What did she have that you didn’t? Thoughts like these stirred in your mind for what felt like ages until the lights of the hotel finally came into your peripherals.

“C’mon. We’re here. Careful about the rain. There should be an umbrella in my glove compartment,” Joseph mentioned as he reached over.

Opening his glove compartment, moving around various tools and other miscellaneous objects, he handed you his black portable umbrella.

“You should take it. You drove us all the way here, it’s alright, really,” you insisted, trying to hand the umbrella back to him.

“It’s fine, (First Name). Let’s just head inside,” replied Joseph as he exited the car.

You felt a bit bad. You could tell he was uncomfortable but he was still being considerate of you, even allowing you to take his umbrella even though he drove for over an hour to get the both of you to the hotel.

As you exited his car, grabbing your backpack full of clothes and other necessities, you rushed over to Joseph to get the both of you underneath the umbrella.

“Thanks,” Joseph quietly muttered as you both hurried up the steps to enter the building.

The lavish exterior immediately caught your eye. The decorative plants that coated the exterior of the building created a lush atmosphere. The rain somehow amplified its already extraordinary elegance. 

As the automatic doors opened as you approached, sending a refreshing gust of wind through your hair, the scented air freshener immediately captivated your senses. You could just barely hear the low melodic tones of one of Chopin’s famous pieces amidst the background. The warm lighting on top of the peaceful ambience of the front desk was utterly breathtaking. There were two spiral staircases on either side of the receptionist’s desk, lined with exorbitant looking carpet. 

How expensive was this hotel? You thought to yourself. You could hardly believe that the KCPD was covering your expenses for such a sumptuous stay.

“Woah..” you sighed, taking in the new environment.

“A room for two please, double bed. Should be under the names (First & Last Name), and Joseph Oda,” Joseph said, in his usual respectful tone.

“Alright, you both made it just in time! Our front desk closes in just a few minutes. But you both should be good to go! Here are your room keys,” the receptionist replied, handing Joseph two keycards.

Joseph handed one to you before already making his way up the stairs. You could feel the tension radiating off of him from the moment you asked him to drop the topic regarding Kidman.

The moment you both reached the hotel room, the tension only grew thicker. You racked your brain, trying to think of some sort of conversation starter, when you noticed Joseph was strangely still. He just stood there, frozen at the end of the short hallway when you both entered.

“..Joseph?” You asked, as you carefully approached him from behind.

He was blushing all the way up to his ears. Confused, you averted your gaze to where he was looking. 

One bed?

You felt your lips part as your cheeks grew hot.

What is this, some sick joke? Joseph doesn’t even like me in that way! And now we have to share a bed?

“I– I can hurry back downstairs! There might be a few minutes left! Maybe they haven’t closed yet–” you suggested before Joseph quickly interrupted you.

“It’s fine. They’re probably already closed. I’ll just take the floor,” Joseph replied, completely avoiding your gaze.

His ears were still pink as he began to set his stuff down to prepare his station on the floor.

“No– no, I couldn’t possibly let you do that. It’s alright, Joseph. Let’s just share the bed. I trust you, I know you’re not some weirdo creep,” you reassured him as you leaned onto the wall beside you.

His back is still towards you, “you’re sure that’s alright?” He asked, his voice slightly cracking mid-sentence.

It was strangely cute how embarrassed he was to be sharing a bed with you. You had no idea he was such a prude, but he did it in such a cute way.

“I am. I’m going to change real quick, alright Jojo?” You told him as you entered the bathroom. You could see him stiffly nod as he picked his things back up off the floor. 

The moment you entered the bathroom, he let out a heavy sigh as he felt his shoulders finally relax. He sat down on his side of the bed, rubbing his face as he tried to get his blush to die down.

“Jesus, what is wrong with you, Joseph?” He quietly muttered to himself as he stared down at his shoes for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck.

After a couple minutes passed, you exited the bathroom in a baggy tee-shirt, which loosely hung down one of your shoulders, and pajama shorts. You had just washed off your makeup, completely bare face with sleepy eyes and messy hair. It took everything in Joseph to pry his eyes away and to not stare at the undoubtedly attractive sight. You looked so.. you. In your rawest form. And that in itself was beautiful.

He could already feel his face begin to heat back up as you threw yourself face down on the other side of the bed. 

“I should– I should go change as well,” Joseph hurriedly excused himself.

Was he.. nervous? Why? He knows I’m not going to make this weird. We’ve been friends for years now. Sure, I kind of, well, I really like him, but I’d never do anything to make him uncomfortable. 

After about 10 minutes, Joseph emerged from the bathroom in a plain white tee shirt and plaid pajama pants. You didn’t take him as the type to enjoy pajama pants, but we learn new things every day. They suited him, though. His arms were more toned than you thought they would be underneath his KCPD uniform. You took a moment to admire his form and how broad his shoulders were. But you valued your dignity and his comfort, so you made sure to only glance at him for a moment. Staring likely would’ve made him even more uncomfortable than he already was.

“I’m going to shut the lights off now, if that’s alright?” Joseph asked, his hand hovering over the light switch.

“Yeah, it’s pretty late,” you agreed, turning onto your back.

Shortly after he shut the lights off, you could hear the sheets rustling beside you as he climbed into bed. The street lights and neighboring buildings barely illuminated through the hotel window, just barely making anything visible.

You turned onto your side to face him. He appeared to be laying on his back, his glasses still on as he stared up at the ceiling.

“Jojo, your glasses,” you reminded him as you carefully removed his glasses from his face.

He didn’t try to stop you, only watched as you gently folded up his glasses and set them on the nightstand.

“Thanks,” he replied, internally begging that you couldn’t see the blush on his face through the darkness of the room.

You both laid in silence for the next few minutes. It seemed neither of you could fall asleep. You could feel him tense again. It was like you could read his thoughts, was he thinking about the whole situation with Kidman again? Although the tension wasn’t nearly as thick as before, it was probably best to get that conversation sorted out now rather than later.

“Hey, so.. about the whole thing with Kidman,” you began, unsure of what to say next.

Pausing for a moment, “what makes how I feel about her such a concern?” You softly asked, genuinely curious.

“Well, like I said earlier: you’ve just been acting differently since she arrived. You just seem more.. distant than usual. I suppose I just don’t understand why you’ve hated Kidman so much since we began working with her. I want to know what’s bothering you, (First Name). I’ve known you for years. That’s what friends do,” Joseph replied, getting up to turn the lights back on.

You sighed, “I’m sorry. I never meant to make you worry. It’s just– ugh,” you stopped yourself.

“What is it?” Joseph pressed as he laid back down into bed.

Your lips pursed.

“Can I just– we’ve been friends for a really long time. And we tell each other everything, right? Would it be alright if I just– if I just asked you something really quickly? Promise you won’t be mad?” You asked, biting the inside of your cheek.

“Where are you going with this?” He asked, turning to face you.

You broke eye contact, your heart beating out of your chest.

“Do you– do you have feelings for her, or something? Is that what brought this on?” You asked as you tightly gripped the milky white blanket in your hand.

He didn’t even respond for a few seconds. A long, painful few seconds.

“I–I’m sorry that I even– I’m sorry I asked. That was a really personal– and a dumb question, I’m sorry–”

“No, no, don’t be. Why would you– did you really think I had feelings for Kidman?” He asked, part of him unsure if he actually heard you correctly.

“Well, yeah, sorry. You don’t have to answer that–” “(First Name), just stop for a second. To answer your question, I do not, and never have, had feelings towards Kidman. The only reason I thought you and Sebastian were being a bit sensitive was because I’ve seen a couple rookies in the past who had the same attitude as her. Where they think they can do everything without any proper training. That’s all,” Joseph quickly explained, his gaze meeting yours again.

You immediately felt a bit stupid. All those nights you spent thinking, and even crying, under the impression that Joseph had feelings for Kidman was all for nothing, thankfully. A weight immediately felt lifted off of your shoulders.

“Is that what this is all about?” Joseph inquired, seemingly connecting all the dots together. “The way that I treat Kidman?”

Oh God. He figured it out. You thought to yourself as you groaned, covering your beet red expression with your hands. 

“(First Name), you can’t be serious,” Joseph said, a dumbfounded tone in his voice.

“Why?” He inquired, confusion obvious in his tone.

You could feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes with anxiety. Your heart was beating out of your chest and your breathing grew heavier.

“I–I don’t.. I don’t–” you stammered as you quickly sat up and took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

Joseph quickly placed his hand on your shoulder. “Hey, it’s alright. There’s no pressure. Just take your time,” he comforted you.

His hand was warm, and the sound of his voice was always soothing.

“I– I can’t believe I have to spell this out, given how smart you are. Even Sebastian figured it out but– ugh,” you rambled for a moment. “Promise you won’t hate me after this. Or want to stop talking to me– or–” 

Joseph hushed you, his hand moving upwards to the base of your neck, and his thumb tracing your jawline.

“I could never hate you (First Name). You know that,” he leaned in closer to you.

Your faces were just inches apart, and you could just barely smell what was left of his cologne.

“Joseph.. I..” you gulped, “I’ve had these.. feelings for you. For a really long time. Shortly after we became friends. And I know that you don’t feel the same way, but I guess my anger was misdirected. So I took it out on Kidman, and you, and I started acting really out of line–” You confessed, your voice wobbly and your breath speeding up again.

“(First Name), look at me,” Joseph gently tilted your chin up to face him. “You are the only woman I have had eyes for. Ever since we met. This whole time, I really thought that you only saw me as a good friend. But, telling when people like me has never been a strong suit of mine.” He chuckled, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

 “R-really?” You asked, your heart fluttering.

“I.. yeah,” he admitted, looking away.

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit, “Jojo. I thought it was obvious. I mean, not on purpose I mean. But Sebastian figured it out right off the bat.” “...was I seriously the only one who couldn’t see it?” 

You nodded, a smile gracing your features.

“Oh, God. I mean, that’s.. that’s–!” He was quickly cut off by the feeling of your lips pressing against his.

He stood still as a statue for a moment, still processing what had just happened, before he finally melted into the kiss. One of his hands snaked around your waist while the other cupped your cheek. He pulled you in closer as both of your arms wrapped around his shoulders.

You leaned towards him, pushing him back down onto the bed and placing yourself on top of him. You didn’t take him as the submissive type, but he didn’t seem opposed to you straddling him.

“(First Name)- I– I uh.. are you sure that this is– that this is okay?” He asked, his face suddenly turning a bright shade of red.

You could feel his hands slightly tremble against your skin, almost as if he was afraid to touch you. Like you’d break if he even laid the slightest amount of pressure against you.

You leaned down, your noses just barely touching as your hair draped down, just barely grazing the sides of Joseph’s neck.

“I’ve been sure about this for a while now, Joseph,” you whispered into his ear, the feeling of your breath against his neck sending a chill down his spine.

He unconsciously gripped the bedsheets next to him as you cupped his face in one of your hands. Your eyes scanned his face as you slowly tilted your head and pressed your lips against his. You could feel him shakily exhale into the kiss as you licked his bottom lip, asking for an entrance.

He hesitantly opened his mouth as you slowly intertwined your tongue with his. All the time you spent fantasizing about this moment apparently came in handy, and it all seemed to come naturally to you. His nervousness was adorable, and he didn’t know how to kiss back at first. He started to get the hang of it after just a few seconds, earning a soft moan from you.

You could hear him sharply inhale at the sinful noise that had just escaped your lips.

“Just like that, Jojo,” you encouraged him, pulling away for just a second before quickly leaning back down to kiss him.

Your words of praise earned a stifled groan from him as he unconsciously bucked his hips upwards into you. 

“S–sorry, fuck–” Joseph swore as he held your face in his hands as you lined yourself up with him, gently grinding on him as you planted a kiss on his jawline.

“Don’t be,” you softly hushed him as you kissed down his neck.

He stifled a whimper through his teeth as you felt him tightly grip the back of your oversized tee shirt. You could feel him try to stop himself from bucking his hips into you again, so you gladly fulfilled his repressed desires. Lightly pressing yourself down onto his already aching erection, his stomach tightened. The pressure of you grinding on him along with the electric sensation from the kisses you so carefully granted his neck made his head spin. 

You could feel how big he was as you gently pressed yourself against him. The sensation was wonderful, and you could feel a heat shoot throughout your entire body. You couldn’t help the small moans that escaped your lips as you softly exhaled into his mouth.

His hands gripped the sides of your waist as he tried his hardest to be gentle. His breath grew heavy as he slowly began to buck his hips into you, giving into his carnal desires. You let him for a few seconds, until you decided he was enjoying himself a bit too much too fast. So you stopped, completely. You sat up, and raised up your hips so he couldn’t grind on you anymore. You stopped giving him neck kisses as you took a moment to gaze back down at him. His hair was much messier than before, his cheeks burned a bright red, and his lips were swollen from biting them. 

“W-why.. why did you stop?” He whined, letting one of his hands travel south to indulge himself in the pleasure that had just been stolen from him.

You held his wrist in place, softly pinning it against his chest. 

“I will indulge you at my own discretion. You’ll be good for me, won’t you?” You cooed, your face millimeters away from his.

He nodded profusely. “Anything– anything for you, (First Name).” He stammered as he looked back up at you with slightly parted lips.

That response hit you straight in the heat of your core, making your underwear even more soaked than it already was, if that was even possible. It took everything in you not to just start grinding on him again, but you wanted to draw this out and make it as fun as possible. Seeing him like this was truly a sight to behold. Joseph was always so serious and uptight, and seeing him so vulnerable was like no other.

Letting out a shaky breath, your hand slid down from his chest down to his lower stomach, just above his crotch. You bit the inside of your cheek at the large bulge protruding from his pajama pants. Its plaid pattern only exaggerated his length and size. You licked your lips, allowing your hands to shakily make their way to his drawstrings. One hand undid the knot while the other cupped his clothed erection. You dragged your fingers lightly across the surface of his cock, earning a slight whimper from the man beneath you.

You gently pulled down his pajama pants, revealing his dark navy boxers. His erection strained the fabric, his cock dripping with precum. It throbbed under your hands, every touch making his stomach tighten in pleasure. 

“God, fuck– (First Name), I need you. I’ve– I’ve.. I’ve needed you for so long,” Joseph whined, clutching the bedsheets and trying to hold himself back. 

He couldn’t take it anymore, he had to touch you. Both of his hands clutched your hips, as he looked up at you. His eyes pleadingly asking for you to take off your shorts so he could finally feel you.

“Alright, only since you’ve been so good,” you lightly chuckled, pulling your shorts down your thighs.

He marveled at the sight of you in your underwear, your fluids already soaking through your underwear and almost dripping down the side of your leg. His eyes were glued to you, so you took your time slowly pulling your underwear down your thighs. He could feel himself get even harder at the sight of your dripping arousal, his cock twitching.

“You’re.. you’re even more beautiful than I imagined,” Joseph shifted in his position on the bed, unbelievably aroused. 

You couldn’t take it anymore. He always had such a way with words, at least to you. 

You didn’t even give him a chance to think as you harshly leaned downwards, encapsulating his lips in another passionate kiss. Your back arched as you tried to line up his cock with your entrance, wanting more than anything to finally feel him. 

His hands found their way under your shirt as he quickly pulled it off of you and over your head. He gulped as his eyes traveled your body. He seemed unsure of what to do with his hands, his awkward nature getting the better of him. Gently grabbing his wrist, you placed his hand on one of your breasts, applying the slightest bit of pressure as his palm sunk into the soft mass. 

“Oh, God..” Joseph barely whispered, “you’re so beautiful.”

You gently pulled the bottom of his shirt upwards, looking up at him to ask him to lift his arms up to remove his shirt. He immediately obliged, pulling his shirt off over his shoulders and tossing it onto the floor. 

You pressed your heat against his bare erection, coating the surface of his cock with your oozing slick. His eyes rolled back at the warm electric sensation of your wetness pressing against him. He groaned in response, his hands traveling to grab your hips and push you down onto him with significantly more pressure.

You let out a few noises that sent shivers down his spine. His fingers lightly dug into the soft flesh around your hips as he tried to stifle a few whimpers. 

“Fuck,” you swore under your breath as you reached downwards, trying to line him up with your entrance.

Your slick covered the topside of his cock. You could feel it throb within your grasp as you felt the tip just gently run over your clit.

“I–I don’t have any condoms..” Joseph grumbled through his teeth as he clutched the bedsheets in one of his hands.

“Then you’d better hold it in. If you can handle that,” you muttered as you ever so slightly pushed yourself around him.

He bit his lip as he tried not to make too much noise.

“I don’t.. I don’t know if I can–” 

“Then you’ll be a dear and get me some morning after pills, won’t you?” You requested as you gently rested your forehead against his.

“Oh– oh I’ll do anything for you, (First Name),” Joseph whimpered as he cupped one of your cheeks in his hand, gently pulling your face closer to his for a kiss.

You winced as you tried to push yourself onto him further. His cock stretched your inner walls, and it was dreadfully painful. 

“F-fuck, Joseph..” you whined as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes.

“Start off slow, my love,” Joseph gently cooed as his hand found its way to your crotch.

His middle and ring fingers explored near your entrance. Coating his fingers in your slick as he gently inserted them inside of you, eliciting a moan from you at the feeling. You always loved his hands– how veiny they were along with how long and nimble his fingers were. 

“I– I’ve never done this before.. so I hope that I’m doing this right..” Joseph muttered as his thumb felt around your labia. 

His fingers were warm as he swirled them inside of you. He made waves with his fingers, shooting a pang of pleasure through your core. You couldn’t help but moan as your back arched. You had to grit your teeth to stop from moaning too loud, not wanting the neighboring rooms to hear you.

“My God, you sound so beautiful,” Joseph groaned as one of his other arms tightened around your waist, pushing your torso against him as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you.

He slowly began to feel your walls begin to tighten before he quickly pulled his fingers out of you as they dripped with your slick. 

You bit the inside of your cheek once he pulled out. You were so close to finishing and he knew that.

“Ugh– fuck, Joseph–” you swore as you raised your body up again, encapsulating Joseph in another kiss.

Joseph held onto your hips, helping you line yourself up with him as you finally sunk your body down, his cock sliding into you with relative ease. It still hurt, but far less than before. The feeling of your warm cunt encapsulating his twitching erection made his eyes roll back as he thrust his hips upward into you. His hands gently squeezed your hips as he helped you move up and down on his cock. 

“Y-you take me so perfectly, (First Name),” Joseph barely sputtered out.

The sensation, the look in Joseph’s eyes, the feeling of his hands on your bare skin, it was better than you could have ever imagined. Not even in your wildest dreams.

You couldn’t find the words to respond. The feeling of him stretching out your inner walls as you moved up and down on him at such a steady pace jumbled up all of your thoughts into complete nonsense. You moaned with every movement, savoring each and every bit of him. The sound was beyond sinful as you stared into each other’s eyes, admiring each other’s features. 

Every thrust in and out of you filled your entire body with pleasure, the sensation was so grand you couldn’t contain the moans that escaped from your lips. Joseph gently pushed your head downwards, muffling your soft pleas with a kiss.

Seconds passed, the pleasure building up as a knot in your core. It slowly continued to build until it felt like you were about to burst. You were so close until you felt him sharply exhale against your lips. He quickly motioned for you to get off. 

“F-fuck.. I’m– I’m gonna.. I’m gonna cum, (First Name),” Joseph panted as he quickly lifted your hips upwards.

He groaned as he used his hand to continue stroking himself as he came onto his stomach. The white fluid spilling onto himself as he prayed he pulled out in time. 

You both finished at the same time, panting as you looked into each other’s eyes.

Rolling over, you let your weight fall onto the bed next to Joseph. You watched him lay there for a moment before he quickly grabbed a few tissues to start cleaning himself up.

You felt your eyelids grow heavy, closing your eyes and slowly getting sleepier.

He turned, giving you a kiss on the cheek as you felt him clean you up.

“Thank you, Jojo,” you thanked him, your voice laced with drowsiness. 

“Of course,” he replied, pulling the sheets over you.

He grabbed a fresh pair of shorts and a baggy shirt from your backpack as he walked back over to you. He practically dressed you all by himself, while you would raise or lower your arms whenever he would tell you to. 

He gave you one last kiss on the cheek before he quickly dressed himself and hopped into bed with you. 

“I love you, (First Name). I’ve loved you for so long,” Joseph whispered into your ear.

“I love you, Joseph,” you whispered back, cuddling up to him.

With your head in his chest and his arms around your waist, you don’t know if you’ve ever fallen asleep quicker. 

[muchinternalscreaming]

A Not Particularly Comprehensive Recount of my experience painting me first digital art piece

Created an ao3 account to gift writers fanart, Created a tumblr account to gift writers fanart,

Turns out this trend ✨️has yet to end✨️

Delved into the world of digital art to - once again - make fanart and gift it to writers.

Also I am making this post to procastinate on WIPs and coursework.

This piece of fanart was inspired by a throw away line (the one about Sam in a suit, Danny in dress) in the lovely fic :

Also available on tumblr @jaewritesfic , though the ao3 link is the one that updates

I: The Beginning, A Sketch.

Ignore the figure on the left, the half-done (quarter-done?) Figure on the right is the subject of interest.

II: Lineart

Hell yeah, you can correct any anatomical mistakes on a totally anatomically correct body (eraser, my beloved).

III: Colouring (My Beloathed)

Ew.

Had to take a few hours away from this puece to recover from the psychic damage, watched approximately 2.5 colouring tutorials, absorbed 0% of the information shared, then proceeded under the modus operandi ✨️fuck around, find out✨️. Anddddddd

It paid off :D!!

But value-wise, the it was v boring. (fixed it l8ter)

IV: Details are the Devils

Pain. Also involved way too many layers (is what I thought at this stage, only to exceed that amount by over 50% 15 mins later) (gave up labelling and my memory is somewhat akin to swiss cheese so for the duration of this journey I worshipped the visibility button)

Anyway, time to fix the boring range of values, simply by mighting the light lighter and the shadows more shadow-y (very technical, such jargon, i know. Plz don't use this as a guide for digital art, I only knew about 0.37% of what I was doing at any time)

not enough shadow, kind of boring. Also need to clean up the areas where the paint overlapped the lineart but that is a problem for future me.

Better!! (At least to me) Also, would probably have to redo the hair b/c it is def stylistically different from the rest of the piece (I did not do that for one very good reason; 'M lazy :) )

If I decide to go w/ this version, I'll probably have to put some shadow on his teeth.

V: Conclusion

What did I learn? Colouring takes way too long (even excluding the time spent procastinating on it), I am sticking to simple colouring for the nxt few pieces. (The full art piece will b posted with those)

[hurtmyfavsthanks]

Content warning: abuse of power, Hero Whumper, Villain Whumpee, Interrogation 

This is a sequel to THIS post. You don’t need to read the previous post to understand this one, but it does give some added context.  Villain had made several mistakes that had led them to their current predicament.

Their first mistake had been attempting to continue their normal life alongside their vigilante activities. It had left them too accessible, too open to scrutiny. Had their colleagues noticed the unexplained bruises and cuts that littered Villain’s skin and made a connection? Had one of their visits to a targeted location as a civilian aligned too closely to their attack as a villain? They didn’t know, and that itself was a problem.

Their second mistake had been thinking that their crimes would be appreciated by the hero community, and thus go largely ignored. They did not see themselves as a hero, nor did they wish to be seen as such. They were a villain, and as a villain, they could get at the mundane evils of the city. Doctors that gouged their patients for every last penny, politicians who took bribes at the cost of the city’s happiness, officers that abused their power over the weak. Heroes weren’t designed to face such problems. Villain thought that the heroes would, if not approve, at least respect having their cause enough to leave them be. Civilian had called that belief naive. Now, Villain wondered if they’d been correct.

Their third mistake was allowing Civilian to get involved. It would’ve been easy to simply disappear, allow Civilian to forget about them and move on. But they didn’t, because they were selfish. They couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Civilian. They’d known them for years, loved them for years, and the thought of never seeing them again felt like a fatal blow. And so Villain had stayed, letting Civilian help them plan their next steps, letting themselves enjoy the comfort of having a loved one near. Letting Civilian continue to be in danger.

That was one mistake Villain would rectify. 

Villain couldn’t help but grunt in pain as their head was slammed into the table. They felt the metal dent under the force, heard their nose crack and break. Once the hand pushing them forward released, Villain pulled their head up and gasped for breath, blood dripping from their nose.

Through blurry eyes, Villain saw Hero come into view. 

“Why are you being so stubborn about this?” Hero’s voice was calm, without even a hint of frustration. They sat down at the opposite end of the table and leaned back in their chair. “I’m offering you a great deal. Just tell me who your accomplice is, and you can be out of prison in only a couple of years.”

Villain sniffed, glaring. “ It’s not very heroic to torture someone for information. If I can’t trust you to act like a hero, how can I trust you to keep your word?” 

“I’m protecting the greater good, who cares if I have some fun in the process? And besides, what does it matter to you? You aren’t going to get a longer sentence for pointing us towards your friends; why not take the chance?” Hero gave them a lazy smirk. “What, is it someone important to you? A parent? Maybe a lover?”

Villain’s blood ran cold. They’d barely spoken a word, and yet it seemed they were leading Hero directly to Civlilian’s doorstep. They couldn’t let that happen. Dread threatened to still Villain’s tongue, but they forced themself to speak calmly. “You’re assuming I have an accomplice at all.”

Hero laughed. “Oh, I’m not assuming.” They stood, making their way over to the cabinet on the far wall. They opened the door and, after a moment of searching, pulled out a long, thin blade. “Final chance to talk before I really start using force.”

Villain glared, disgust clear on their face. “Do your worst,”

Hero only laughed. “I was hoping you’d say that. 

[plantingatree]

hii i do a level bio and maths like u but i’m in year 12 any tips?? also love ur feed its very inspiring :))

hii i’m glad you find my feed inspiring yayay. i just made a post about biology so i’ll link that here!

for maths i’d say the best thing you can do is do as many questions as you can from the textbook at first. make sure you are super super good with the basics and correct any answer you get wrong until you get them right. i really recommend TL maths on youtube who has like 1k vids or something crazy explaining all of the a level maths topics if you’re confused about anything. id say for statistics part a lot of it is memorable and the type of questions in the exam dont vary much so its relatively easy to bag them 50 marks (although its very boring).

mechanics is hard but there’s not a lot of content for it, so if you go over it enough it will become easier but don’t become disheartened if you find it hard at first because it’s definitely not easy at all.

the reason i’d say to make sure your good at the basics is because the exam questions are generally a lot harder than the textbook questions which sucks. some past papers seem okay and others are just so hard and have these little differences that make the question seem impossible. but it’s not that bad once you figure it out and do enough questions because there’s only so much variation in one topic, so a lot of time they’ll start to become repetitive. take a picture or write down an exam question you got wrong and go back to it a few days later to make sure you learned from your mistake, and remember what to do incase it comes up again.

also some mark schemes are very specific to certain exam boards too, so if you do watch videos take into account that the mark schemes may be slightly different. for example AQA seems to be very obsessed with ending answers with conclusions like ‘therefore they do not intersect’ and i’m not sure if it’s like that for every exam board. also AQA mechanics requires you to round to however many significant figures the gravity value is in the question. so if you use a = 9.81 then you have to round your final answer to 3 SF. idek why. sometimes they’re lazy with it and don’t always require it but generally they shouldn’t be.

i hope that helps!! 😎 good luck!

[genericpuff]

Hiii, I read your post about the stiff dialogue in LO, and I wanted to add my own two cents!

I myself am a person with a nice case of dyslexia (it will most likely show in this message). While I can’t speak for everyone with dyslexia, I pesonally cannot and will not publish anything ”official”, without spell checking it to hell and back. This is mostly because I’m hyper aware of this being one of my ”shortcomings”.

I also wanted to say, that most of, if not all, people with dyslexia that I know are rather self-consious about it. I just find it a bit unbeliavable that all the misspellings/awkward text in LO are there simply because Rachel has dyslexia. To me personally, it seems to be more a product of laziness and/or indifference.

Of course there is the fact that I’m not working on a long project, and I can usually take my time with my work, so maybe I just have more recourses to be careful. I also want to make clear that I don’t mean to say that Rachel’s dyslexia doesn’t affect her workload at all, but I do think she should have the means to check these things, especially since she is quite successful in the field.

Thanks for pitching in on this! I myself do not have dyslexia, but I do understand the struggle of missing words or misspelling them as my brain tends to move too quick at times for my writing speed to keep up LMAO It happens a lot when I'm writing by hand as I can't handwrite as fast as I can type so words sometimes go missing while my brain speeds ahead 😂

I can get why someone might be a little more self-conscious about typos being pointed out if they're making their comic entirely on their own and for free, or if they're just self-conscious about making mistakes in general (it can be scary to put a piece of work out into the world!) but Rachel is literally the top creator on the platform so there's zero excuse for it to have gone this long without at least a copy editor. And frankly it's still weird that they hire a copy editor at all just for checking typos because that's something that can be done so easily (again, Rachel has 4-5 other assistants per episode, you're telling me NONE of them could do it for her? Oh that's right, because she has them all draw their panels in isolation of one another and then she slaps the dialogue in at the last minute -.- the copy editor she has right now seems like the 'last step' before she submits the comic).

That said, if you go back far enough, you can actually find Rachel's take on correcting her misspellings and it's... frankly way saltier than it ought to be? Like I get it, it might feel like an attack for someone to say "hey, I spotted this mistake!" especially if you're self-conscious about it or are living with a learning disorder that affects your every day life, but when you get over that self-consciousness of making mistakes, it's really not that big of a deal? Like, yeah, it can be really frustrating when people point those mistakes out because it makes you feel bad or reminds you that you're struggling with something like spelling that seems so natural and 'easy' to everyone else, but I find true genuine fans of your work don't point these things out to be mean, just to be helpful. Yes, some people are mean about it, but you can usually tell which ones are the mean ones and which ones are the nice ones.

I've made spelling and grammatical errors in both Time Gate and Rekindled that have been kindly pointed out, and you know what I do when people find them? I thank them for spotting what I clearly didn't and I go and fix it. Because it makes my work better for my audience and my own peace of mind.

Rachel, meanwhile-

(tiny picture translation:

Question: Why do you have typos?

Rachel's answer: Yes, believe it or not I speak English. (English-New Zealand not English-American) Remember... not everyone cares about spelling. And frankly if go around pointing out spelling mistakes in peoples comics you have an issue. Plus I'm dyslexic you insensitive ass!)

Like... that whole thing is from her FAQ section that she made herself and she's still having a tone of voice that implies she's directing her answer at one specific person as if it was like an anon ask LMAO and really, I get the spirit of what she's saying, it can be pretentious/rude to point out people's spelling mistakes... in an informal or conversational setting. If you're making a comic or writing a book, though, it's basically a bare minimum expectation that you should be using spell check and making sure things are readable. You're making the work for other people to read after all. So her tone in this followed by the whole "I'm dyslexic you ass" bit just feels so unnecessarily hostile over something that was an innocent mistake and happens to literally everyone. Like, she really do be hurting her own feelings in her own FAQ that she made on her own time, this isn't the only question in there that reeks of 2000's edgy era "fuck you for asking" energy lmao

That said, to be fair, that is from her 2000's edgy era, so I'm hoping she's grown out of that at least slightly, but judging by how she's been managing her comic the past few years, it's clear she still isn't bothering to employ simple tactics to keep mistakes from slipping through the cracks and would rather lean on her dyslexia as an excuse rather than a reason. Dyslexia is a reason for typos, but where it becomes an excuse IMO is when she blames her dyslexia and then doesn't fix the mistakes that arise due to her dyslexia or do anything to make her life easier going forward.

Again, she's hired a copy editor, so if they're a permanent part of the team now, that will hopefully make things better. But why weren't they one of the first people hired when it's clear that Rachel could really use the help to ensure her comic comes out being the best version of itself it could be? It's like she's been literally shooting herself in the foot for the last 5 years.

It really feels lazy and, frankly, disrespectful. I know that might be a hot take or seem a little overblown to use that word here, but if you're going to be creating a comic for an audience - and expecting that audience to read your comic each week and in Rachel's case be expected to pay money for it - then you should be doing them the service of making it worth reading and sticking around for. If you can't even do so much as spell check your work - or go back and edit the errors when they arise - then that really goes to show how little you care about your own audience because you're not willing to put in the time and effort to even just fix a typo, let alone give them something worth coming back to and paying for each week. Sure, not everyone pays for the comics, but those viewership analytics are still valuable and it's very clear at this point that they're dropping rapidly week after week, and yet Rachel is doing barely anything to help turn things around.

Lore Olympus disrespects its audience in more ways beyond just the typos, of course, but the typos feel like the shopping cart litmus test - it costs next to nothing to resolve the issue, so if you still choose not to, it speaks to how little effort you're willing to put in to do something helpful for others that already only requires the bare minimum to do.

Of course, much of this is all speculative so take it with grains of salt, but judging by her responses to her own audience way back in the day, it really paints a picture of how Rachel views her audience. It makes it feel like she doesn't release her work into the world to genuinely entertain people or to find others who may connect and resonate with the work, she does it purely for herself and herself alone. That wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing in and of itself, it's pretty difficult to keep up a project if you aren't doing it for yourself to some degree (and you shouldn't create a comic just to earn an audience because that's just setting up unfair expectations for yourself lol), but in Rachel's case, it feels more like she's emulating the same edgelord energy of her "boss babe" Persephone - if you don't love every part of her and her work regardless of its genuine flaws, no matter how easy said flaws would be to fix, then you should just shut up and read her work and/or pay for it anyways because she should be allowed to do whatever she wants and if you don't like it, then you're an insensitive ass.

[mysticmoondancer]

I just finished editing my old Bethan fanfic, "Benny's Birthday Surprise". The one on Ao3, that is. Forget trying to upload the newly edited version of it on my Fanfiction.net account after all these years. I'd hate to mess with it, and it somehow get all fucked up and whatnot as a result. Besides, not much really has changed in it, anyway. Just few corrected mistakes and rewording of a few sentences, is all. Nothing too drastic.

Anyway, the link to has already been posted for it on here if you want to go check it out, if you haven't already. And yes, the image is the same one I used as my cover art/image on the Fanfiction.net one. I have all of my fanfics cover art/images from that account saved in my cloud service. So, the two other fics of mine that I've already posted on here with a picture above (aka their cover art/image) are indeed the ones I used for their Fanfiction.net version.

The next MBAV fic of mine I'll now be going back over to edit, that's already been posted on my Ao3 account (because I was too lazy to do it the first time) will be "Benny's Gotta Secret To Tell". So, be on the lookout for that in the coming months. ;D

[junepsycho]

here to talk about stuff again. life is acceptance. sometimes life is all about giving up and flowing with the river. the river that leads me to my ultimate death. i have to be careful about what I say aloud. people are listening. they care about what I say. i cannot go back to the way i used to be. silent and lonely. i have to fight. i have to be scared. let my heart beat faster whenever I'm scared. i have to be human. because that is what I am. human. I'm a social animal. people will be in my life whether i like it or not. i have to live with that. i wish i was born as a rock, born of mother earth's gritting teeth. this post is kinda all over the place. i have no idea why. I'm just letting my thoughts ramble away. right. i had a feeling that after three perfect days, something was bound to go wrong. after all, I've never had a perfect week. i got that feeling from the past again for a brief moment this evening. i messed up some comms with my colleague, didn't really get any work done, then scrolled through Instagram posts whose comments left me speechless. but, I'm just flowing. I'm giving up. fate, you take me wherever you want me to go. I'm too defeated to fight you anymore. i will accept things the way they come to me. words, actions, information. i will accept the outcomes of my words and actions. if i care enough about the person i hurt, I will apologise, do my best to be better. if I have made enough mistakes for them to never forgive me again, I will accept that as well. if I get shouted at, i accept it. if I get praised, i thank you and accept it. i promise myself to give my best. i promise myself to let go when trying to achieve the best is affecting my mental health. in the end, what will my life surmount to? if all goes well, i die an old man in a foreign country with the love of my life by my side. worst comes to worst, i die after writing this post. I'm conflicted. i don't know whether i should care less or more from now on. man. if only I had a father. perhaps things would've been cleared. life would've been a bit happier and easy to understand. instead, I am my own father and I am my own mother and I am my own brother and I am my own grandfather and I am my own grandmother. i have to teach myself to be strong. i am the soldier. i am the soldier who fights the toughest battles. because no one will be me, or live like me. i am the only one who truly knows what I've been through. i will correct my mistakes, I will pay myself on the back when i succeed. no one else. no one else will matter more than me. i will make sure of that. june. june. june. june. june. june. june. joshua. i know you'll care and you'll put others even after saying all this. in the moment, when it matters, you're a good person. that is just who you are. you're fundamentally a good man. and you're fundamentally a bad person too. you are gray. and i just have to accept that. i am a gray person. i am boring. i love videogames. i love being lazy and i love people bringing me things. i love bringing things for people I love. i talk too much. i don't talk at all. let me live. let me be me. i make mistakes. i fail and fail and fail and fail and then fail again. sometimes i don't even get the answers i wanted. and i never will. and that's okay. that's life. i will be my own father. i will teach myself how to be a good man. one that would remembered as a good man. there were many men. the world loved them. they did terrible things, and yet they loved the men. what do I do dad? do i abandon the child i was and grow up? what do I do man? do i give up? let the river take me? I'm not tired, but I'm not good enough to fight back either. i don't know what to do. what do I do father? i speak to a man six feet in a grave from 50 kms away. if only he could hear me and talk to me. tell me it's okay. that he's here now. i don't have to worry. dad will take care of it. you don't have to worry anymore. just go to sleep my boy. I'll take care of it june. I'll take care of everything. dw. I'm here now.

[madacademic]

Mad Academic: An Introduction

Hello, I’m Nicole (but you can call me Nic if you’d like), a queer, Mad, disabled, and chronically ill occasional part-time university student. And this, as you can probably tell, is my newsletter, Mad Academic. Though I’m not entirely sure where this Substack will end up, my current goal is to focus on assumptions in the areas of psychology and disability, as well as those assumptions’ impact on society as a whole. (Yes, that is purposefully vague. I don’t want to limit what I write here—at least not yet.) However, this project is just getting started, and I know there will be mistakes along the way. This will definitely be a learning experience for me, but stick around, and maybe you’ll learn something, too.

More About the Writer

I’ve never been the best at talking about myself, but here we go. Born pretty close to the East Coast in Northern Virginia, I grew up among the humidity and greenery, which heavily contrasts with the desert-like state I’m in now (New Mexico). I was also pretty close to Washington DC, a place I loved to visit.

I grew up unschooled for the most part. When I asked to try online school—and eventually in-person high school—my health problems, overwhelm, and lack of motivation got to me, making it so I never finished a semester, even if I just took one or two classes. I felt like a failure. Some might’ve called me lazy. Some might’ve called it the emergence of severe depression along with some other things. Some might’ve chosen a different lens and considered the ongoing trauma that began around that time as well as the fact that I never had much school experience. Maybe some would’ve gone even deeper and considered more societal implications. Me? I had no name or explanation for what was going on. I think I thought it was just part of me being weird.

Despite not doing well in anything school related, I took my first college course when I was seventeen. It was an introductory psychology course, and it actually went really well. However, I struggled with taking more than two or four classes for the most part. Back then, I would spend a lot of time on homework but almost always received grades of at least 100%. But, over the past few years, getting 100% on everything turned into either getting 100% on a project or not turning it in at all. The last time I took classes, it got to the point where I usually wouldn’t turn in assignments at all.

I started to identify what I’m going through as autistic burnout. As I’m close to starting my Master’s degree at this point, I really want to return at some point, but I’ve also heard of autistic burnout never really going away for some people. As much as I want to go back, my plan is to take things slow for now. I’m very lucky in that I can do that in the first place.

So what have I been doing during my break from school? I started doing some streaming and reading. (You can find my stream over here.) And from here on, I plan to do more reading and streaming, along with some writing, too, starting with this newsletter.

I consider myself disabled and have been diagnosed with multiple physical and mental disorders throughout my life. Though I used to care a lot about the DSM, ultimately memorizing the criteria for many disorders (it was a special interest, okay?), I’ve started to realize it’s limited and even harmful to people. (And now I often use my knowledge to bash it!) Today, I continue to learn about the effects of the psychiatric system on different individuals.

Why Bother Writing About This?

I’m writing about this because it feels important; impacts me; hopefully will inform others; and allows me to learn, evolve, and be corrected in this area of knowledge.

What to Expect

I’m not sure what exactly I’m going to post about other than my thought on issues that arise in psychology. Maybe there will also be some other societal topics—maybe some personal topics. But in the end, I’m hoping for it to keep the same theme while letting the newsletter evolve however it’s meant to evolve.

Overall, this is meant to be a place to post my finished (or almost finished) thoughts related to psychology, disability, and potentially all kinds of societal issues. I’m planning to do a lot more research in the future, which is why the future topics of this newsletter are partially to be determined. It all sounds like a mess. I know. I figured the fastest way to figure out what this newsletter should be about is to learn as I go. I guess we’ll see how that works out.

How often will I post? I’m hoping to start with one post on the first of each month. I’m also hoping to post at least one Instagram post a week, but that will be further figured out later. (For anyone who doesn’t know, my Instagram account is @madacademic.)

At the moment, this newsletter is entirely free, and it might stay that way. While there are paid options, those are just for giving further support to this project and do not affect which content you can access. If I ever change this, I’ll be sure to announce it.

[sungie]

ROOMING WITH CATER DIAMOND

GOOGLE SEARCH – IM FEELING LUCKY!

ACCOUNT SIGN IN: CATER DIAMOND

[HOW TO: MAKE GOOD FIRST IMPRESSIONS]

The moment Cater’s scrawly signature appears beneath yours on the apartment lease, he legally binds the two of you together for a year. And a long one, by the looks of it. Cater hightails into your life without any care for speed limits, which clearly explains why he has the audacity to assume the two of you are already best friends. 

“We’re not,” you correct, crossing your arms. “We’re roommates.” 

Click. Beside you, Cater’s winking cutely at his phone, holding a lazy peace-sign just below his jaw. Click. He takes another one. 

“Did you just … ignore everything I said?” 

At your exasperation, Cater grins cheerfully. “Gotta show off my new roomie!” He shows you the photo, zooming in on your face. “Okay to post?” 

Five seconds ago you glowers at an out-of-frame Cater. “Huh? Yeah.” 

“Yay!” Cater looks positively thrilled. “What’s your user?” 

[caycay] requested to follow you now

Accepting his request feels like lining up to an early death. And you’re half-right, seeing how quickly your phone fills with Magicam notifications. 

[caycay] liked your post 3min ago

[caycay] liked your post 3min ago

[caycay] liked your post 3 min ago

[caycay] tagged you in their story now

The boldness of it all amuses you. Cater Diamond. He’s … definitely something. 

“Stalker.” You snicker, scrolling through his feed. Despite trying (and failing) to keep Cater at arms-length, you can’t resist a little tease. “Don’t go falling in love with me now, caycay.”

To your surprise, he isn’t fazed. Not in the slightest. 

“Too late!” Cater laughs, slinging an arm around you. “Just kidding. I’m gonna be the best roommate you’ve ever had.” And then, mirroring your words with a wicked grin: “So, don’t go falling in love with me now, (Y/N).”

“I don’t make the same mistakes twice.”

You tap on Cater’s story, amused at the contrast between the two of you. And you almost skip to the next, until Cater leans over your shoulder. Too casually. 

“Like and reshare? It helps the views come in.” 

“You’re so. Oh my god.” 

“Aw, don’t be like that! You’re super cute. Bet you’ll get a bunch of followers.” He hums in affirmation. Then, “maybe I shouldn’t have tagged you?”

He pouts, dipping his head into your field of vision. “Don’t like any of them better than me.” 

“Maybe a hot barista will slide into my dms. Know any?” 

“I know a hot baker,” Cater hums, counting on his fingers. “Hot TA, hot single dad with kids, hot influencer times two. Shameless self-promo.” 

“Cater, what the hell, I’m not looking for a sugardaddy–” 

“Really? Too bad. I’d show some ass for a couple hundred.” 

“Up it to a thousand, then we’ll talk.” You glance down at your phone. 

[trappolace] requested to follow you 5m ago 

[traytarts] requested to follow you 3m ago 

[kalim] requested to follow you 3m ago 

[therealriddlerosenhearts] requested to follow you 1m ago 

[dil.lillia.f] requested to follow you now 

“Well,” Cater grins, pointing at your phone, “speak of the devil!” He goes on a list, “hot baker, hot TA, hot single dad. Didn’t snatch the influencer yet … whomp whomp. If it makes you feel better, neither have I.” Then he blinks, leaning closer to your phone.

He sighs. “Seriously? It took me days to convince Riddle to follow me. And all it took was … five minutes?” Cater sulks. 

Already back to his phone, he speed-dials Riddle, eyes twinkling. “Well, well. Welcome home, cheater.” He turns back to you, playfully sticking out his tongue before disappearing off to his room. “Pretty privilege. Share some with the rest of us, yeah?”

[HOW TO: MAKE HOME FEEL LIKE HOME]

IKEA runs? Disaster. Cater throws himself onto bold and abstract red couches, claiming a sentimental tie to a Night Raven College Heartslabyul dorm blast-from-the-past. 

You helplessly point at the beige, drawn to minimalist-themed apartments. So, as all things go, you compromise. Your common-space clashes, full of vibrant colors and light, simple decor. 

Even stranger, Cater side-steps all offers of your housewarming cookies.

“Sure you don’t want any?” You frown in concern. “I promise there’s no catch, or anything.” 

“Nope,” Cater says, popping the ‘p’. “I’m allergic to chocolate.” He winks, playfully. “Maybe I’ll have you replace Trey as hot baker.” 

Strangely, you watch Cater melt a whole piece of chocolate into his chili. No hives, no allergic reaction, nothing. Unfortunately, you don’t do a good job of secretly scrutinizing his appearance. Cater takes the rest of his dinner to his room, clearly creeped out.

You: ▓▒░(°◡°)░▒▓

Cater: (〇_ｏ)

As result, you don’t let Cater near any of your cooking for a month, positively convinced he thought your housewarming cookies were gross. It gets so bad, Cater's forced to clarify he hates ALL sweet food. 

“I wanna bake stuff you like,” you start, “but I don’t know what to make. What’s a savory pastry?” 

“Wanna try a quickie?”

You blink at him deadpanned. 

“Quickie, Quish … you know. Quiche. Egg tart.” A lazy smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “Egg tart with chives, cheese, and ham. Ever done that before?”

“I know you know how to say quiche.”

Cater shrugs, mischievously. “Thanks (Y/N)! Love you!”

You wake up the next morning to a reaction video posted on Tiktok, and flowers on the kitchen table. 

To (Y/N), thanks for the quickie! normally i don’t pull out after the first date, so don’t kiss and tell! thanks babes xo

Cater’s phone vibrates within the next couple minutes:

from cute roomie: I HATE YOU. SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN 

from cute roomie: thank u for the flowers i love them <33

Cater, unsurprisingly, likes trends. He also loves photos. 

“There’s this trend going ‘round I want to try. You take polaroids of everyone who visits, then have a whole gallery by the end of the year. Cute, right?”

At your excited reaction, Cater laughs. He sighs, running a hand through his hair to mock-whine. “Aw, if only Trey were as cool as you, (Y/N).” He leans in, as if sharing some important secret: “He called it a silly fad. Can you believe?” 

He pulls out his phone, simultaneously chatting with you and typing quickly. “Just for that, I’ll have him treat us to a housewarming tart. Got a favorite?” 

Beat. Whoops. 

Cater realizes his slip, then keeps his eyes glued to his phone, clearly aware of the dirty look you’re sending him (still 12% miffed about the housewarming cookies). “Nope. Never tried any.” 

Cater’s eyes pop out. “No? You gotta try Trey’s tarts. They look so good, you won’t want to eat them.”

While moving boxes into his room, Cater takes one trip to ground-floor, arriving ten minutes later with arms full of globular, orange and red blobs. 

“Cater …” 

“Aha, (Y/N)! Prop the door open for me?”

“Why do you have pervy pillows.” 

Cater’s jaw drops. “Huh? They’re cute. See?” He holds the perviest blob up to your face. “You’re looking at the newest addition to the FUN collection.” 

You almost get the ick. “It’s your fault when my sleep paralysis demon looks like that.” 

“You’ll really love my sexy body pillow, then.” 

Cater lets you take a peek into his room from time to time. It consists of three main colors: crimson, black, tangerine. Four-poster bed with an abstract tangerine duvet and pervy pillows. He’s got a desk with a couple photos framed on the wall, with cello, bass, and guitar cases leaning against the wall. You haven’t heard him play, yet. 

The one thing you agree on wholeheartedly: warm lighting. Pretty light fixtures and cute lamps. 

Surprisingly, Cater spends most of his time in his room. When he’s not hopping on the latest trends, flirting with a random victim, or adventuring to get the perfect-photo, Cater isolates and doesn’t come out, except with headphones that mean: don’t-talk-to-me-or-i’ll-take-out-your-entire-family-and-not-on-a-date.

You learn, quite quickly, to give Cater space. He’ll come to you on his own time. 

Sometimes, it’s strange. Exhaustion circles darkly beneath his eyes, and even the shine in his hair dims. A couple months ago, you’d have thought seeing Cater like this would be impossible. 

[HOW TO: MAKE FRIENDS WITH UR ROOMMATE (REAL)]

Half-way through your lease, you firmly declare that Cater Diamond, aka fake-ginger, aka number one on your “smack-a-bitch” list, suffers from Chronic Flirt Syndrome. 

“No,” Cater whines, “I just like getting to know people. That’s all.” He rubs the back of his neck, sneaking a glance at the growing polaroids on the wall. Yellow post-it smiley faces tape over about ¼ of the photos, cueing countless hook-ups gone wrong. 

“Inside and out?” You try, innocently. 

Cater whines. “Gonna report you for bullying. So mean, (Y/N).” 

And even worse, he’s a terrible roommate! 

You find out he’s not even a real ginger, when he makes you bleach his roots and help wash his hair, while he later applies red hair-dye all under the guise of “roommate bonding”!

“You’re just lazy.” 

“Yeah,” Cater agrees, raising his voice over the Jpop blaring from the bathroom, “but it’s fun! Right?” 

While waiting for bleach and dye to set, Cater makes playlists for you and sends them over. Success rate of containing good music: ⅔ 

Switches the sugar and salt containers just to film a #reactions video on Tiktok! Even posted one reaction video with you in a facemask and greasy hair! Which. was. the. one. that. went. viral.

You made Cater pay you fifty for emotional damage. 

But that’s not even the worst of it. He films thirst-traps in the living room. Apparently, the lighting looks ‘oh, so much better than from his room!”

You’re convinced this is a huge lie. No way, Cater likes the mismatched furniture aesthetic in the common room better than his pervy pillows.  

One time you saw Cater filming and he actually looked good.

(╬ Ò﹏Ó)

#HOLYWATER #NOSIMPINGALLOWED

He has … little fangs when he smirks a certain way

And! Even leaves hot-sauce bottles out instead of putting them back in the fridge!

Except, Cater isn’t all bad. 

Late nights of work and deadlines automatically get accompanied with a mandatory hour break, where Cater makes after-midnight ramen and fire noodles. The spice feels so good, and you can’t get enough. Sometimes it’s so spicy you cry. Maybe you and Cater eat too much spicy food, because after a while, it only brings a slight rush of heat. Cater wants to upgrade to ghost-pepper. 

“You’re gonna take a massive shit afterwards.” 

“More post-shat clarity,” Cater teases back. “Anyway, don’t shit shame. Rude.” 

Sometimes Cater’s friends come to visit. trappolace, or Ace, continues to leech off your wi-fi, your laundry machines, and to whine about that god-awful polaroid of him pinned to the cork-board.

“C’mon, take a new one! Please, pretty please?” 

Cater shakes his head, grinning wickedly. “Those eyes won’t work on me. You’ll have better luck with (Y/N).” He winks at you. “And I’ll think about it. You’re really pulling off that drunken glow–”

“Oh, dear.” You have to drag an enraged Ace off Cater and semi-permanently ban him from the apartment.

Cater draws a mustache and angry eyebrows on the Ace polaroid. The expression looks very familiar. 

Underneath the polaroid reads: EVICTED!! PIN OF SHAME!!

Meanwhile, Cater starts posting on his Magicam story. just got ace-crimed :( @ trappolace sorry i told u to stop picking ur nose ,, won’t do it again #imsorry #plsforgiveme #kleenex #isyourfriend

Ace blows up Cater’s phone. You nudge closer to Cater, bursting into laughter at the notifs traveling down Cater’s phone.  

[trappolace] replied to your story: DELETE THIS. 1m ago

[trappolace] replied to your story: DELETE THIS. now

[trappolace] replied to your story: DELETE THIS. now

[trappolace] replied to your story: YOU MOTHERFUCKER. now

“Why would you post that,” you giggle, “you’re terrible. Might have to expose you, too.” 

“Oh, yeah? What for?” 

“He’s a ten, but deletes his mental health to focus on social media. Probably gets off to his pervy pillows. They’re part of the FUN collection? What type of fun, huh, caycay?”

Suddenly, you remember why the eyebrows Cater drew over the Ace polaroid look so familiar. 

Cater cackles. He playfully pokes you in the side, resting his head on your shoulder. “You think I’m a ten? Look,” he half-wraps his arm around you to show you his phone, “he’s still going.” 

You can’t stop laughing. It hurts your ribs, and you struggle to breathe in, gasping at air. “Poor Ace. And you’re a one. One.”  

“There,” Cater murmurs, and you can hear the amusement in his voice. Think he’s not quite talking about Ace now. Feel the warmth of his gaze against your skin, the comforting hold of his arms. “That’s why I posted it.”

You blink. The look in his eyes. 

“Wanted to make me choke?” 

Cater snickers. “Maybe later. At least ask me out first.”  

You lightly whack his chest with each word. “Chronic. Flirt. Syndrome.” 

Cater pouts, wrapping his arms around you. “Aw, (Y/N)! You know you’re the only one for me.” 

“Tell that to your hook-ups on the wall.” 

“I don’t do that anymore!” 

“Uh huh.”

Cater does, in fact, delete the story after you’ve seen it. 

Or traytarts, whose user you learn belongs to Trey Clover.

Ends up bringing housewarming tarts five months late. 

Apparently, the two of them met during their first year of NRC. 

While Cater’s off taking phone-calls from work or piss breaks, Trey grumbles that Cater tried disappearing from his life five times after they graduated, until he eventually gave up. 

So, don’t take it personally if he does that, Trey warns. It might happen soon. 

Cater happens to walk-in at the tail-end of your conversation. He looks, amused? “Ah, IRL ghosting, am I right? Boo boo. Trey didn’t let me. So sad. Now I’ve got to look at his tarts every. single. day. ” 

“It wouldn’t kill you to do a promotion out of the goodness of your heart,” Trey chuckles.  

“So cheesy,” Cater mimes a hand to his chest, then smiles, wickedly. This smile feels a bit different, then Cater’s usual smiles. “Besides, we’re not best friends. Remember? Get outta here, Trey.”

A while later. “Why do you have so many followers?” 

Cater laughs, plopping down on the couch beside you. “I’m super mega-cute,” he teases, flashing you a charming smile. “Nah. I moved around like, eight times before NRC. Got a bunch of followers from different schools, and they stuck around because I’m so cool and hip! The rest? They swarm to me after perfectly curated posts, hashtags, and TOD: time of day.” 

“Why so much?” 

Cater shrugs, glancing down at his hands. “My dad’s job. Absent father trying to provide for a big, happy family. That sorta stuff, hah.” His gaze flickers back to you, guiltily. He reaches out, nudging your chin up. “Hey. Don’t look so sad,” he says, tentative smile playing at the corner of his lips. “It wasn’t so bad. Got to travel around the world! How many kids can say they did that?” 

“Cater,” you murmur. 

Cater presses a finger to your lips. “It’s fine. Really.” He grins. It feels … forced. “How ‘bout this. I’ll take you to a couple places I lived. I’ll be like a real tour-guide. Fun, right? It pays to know the locals.” 

Later, Trey’s words circle around your head. 

Cater fell off the face of the earth like, five times after NRC. Plus a couple times during NRC winter breaks. But try not to take it personally. He’s,” Trey pauses, sighing. “let’s just say he’s gone through a lot more than it looks.  

Google Search: how does frequently moving affect you as a kid?

The results make your head spin. 

[HOW TO: FIGURE OUT IF THEY LIKE ME?? QUIZ]

After showers, Cater smells like shea butter. He takes care of his hair and skin religiously, switching up his routine based on new products shipped to him by different companies, but he always keeps his showergel the same.

Sometimes, you wake up to a fresh-cup of coffee. Cater wafts the cup beneath your nose, obnoxiously poking your cheek to rouse you. He’s lucky he made you coffee, otherwise you’d yell at him for touching your face. If Cater doesn't wash his hands …

Other nights, the two of you find each other relaxing on the couch, limbs tangled together and things just feel right. You’ve both got dating apps open, giggling at different matches and comparing them. 

“No,” Cater says, staring in horror at the account displayed on your screen. “He looks like a total bore. Wanna bet he uses Axe body spray religiously on first dates?”

“Pfft. Don’t be mean. Sebek?” You try, sounding his name on your tongue as you swipe through his selected photos. “Maybe not. He seems a little obsessed with … um? Does he have a boyfriend?” 

Cater nudges closer to you, peering at your phone. He laughs. “More or less. Left!” 

One night, Cater proposes a game of truth or dare. The empty pink bottle of sake spinning between the two of you blurs in and out like sea-glass and kaleidoscopes. 

“Truth,” you mumble.

Cater takes a while to think. “When we first met and joked about falling in love … What do you mean, you’d never make the same mistake twice? If not,” He gestures to the small flask of hiya sake, then shakes his head. “Just down some water, or something. Don’t drink anymore.”

He sighs, amused and exasperated all at once. “You really can’t handle your alcohol, can you? Gonna have to find myself a new drinking buddy.” 

You shrug. “Meant what I said. Last roommate and I had a thing. After our lease ended, they ghosted. Probably annoyed them.” 

Cater spins the bottle. He doesn’t wait for it to land. “Dare.” 

You stare at the ceiling. “Can you like … stop being so fake?” 

Cater’s voice steels. “What?” 

“Sorry,” you stumble back, “didn’t mean it like that.”

“Insert cringe motivational quote: drunk words mean sober thoughts. Just say it.”  

“Okay,” you continue, not aware enough in the moment to read social cues, “you do this thing a lot. You know, where you’re not feeling it. And then you put on this act. Dare you to stop doing that. With me.” Your voice falters. “It makes me sad.” 

The silence stifles. It’s so heavy. 

“You might not like me so much, anymore.” 

“I already like you too much. That might be a good thing.” 

Cater laughs, quietly. “You know, for all the times you drag me for being a flirt, you’re out here doing the exact same thing. Especially when drunk.”

“Just telling the truth. That’s not flirting, Caycay.” 

Cater smiles mirthlessly. “Alright. That’s enough.” He picks you up, carrying you to your room. When he tucks your duvet up to your chin, his thumb brushes against your cheek, lingering seconds longer than he should. “Night, (Y/N).” 

“Cater,” your voice slurs. “It really hurts.” 

He’s already doubling back, knees scuffing against hardwood as he stumbles to your bedside. “Did I hurt you? Where does it hurt?”  

You lightly poke his chest. “There. When they left,” you mumble, dozing off. “You won’t leave me, too, will you?” 

Cater looks like he’s seen a ghost. 

[HOW TO: RUN AWAY (AGAIN).]

Cater spends less time at home. He knows your schedule so well, he ends up leaving before you wake up, and returning when you’re done with dinner. On the chance you wait for him, he takes his dinner to his room. 

Sometimes, he switches. Like, he feels bad for the way he’s acting. Sometimes he’ll greet you in the mornings with a cheerful smile, and you’re so stupid for thinking things will go right back to how they were. It’s a slap in the face when the next day, his wall slams back down. Distant. 

“Cater,” you whisper one morning, stepping in front of him, “what’s wrong?” 

The archaic smile on his face never falters. “Nothing. Never better.” 

Living with Cater starts to feel a lot like the last couple months with your ex-roommate. And it scares you.  

HOW TO: GET FEATURED ON ‘HEY REDDIT, AM I THE ASSHOLE’?

[caycays]: (y/n), i’m gonna be super honest ,, i think we’re getting too close. and it’s really scary. i can’t keep friendships longer than a couple years, much less relationships. i think we should start acting like roommates. just roommates. 

[caycays]: i’ll move out after lease ends. sorry for being that second mistake. 

[HOW TO: REACT WHEN THEY WON’T LET YOU DO. THAT]

A couple weeks later, you sit Cater down on the couch. 

“I’m not gonna try to change your mind,” you start, before he says anything. “I want to give you space. I’m not mad.” You gauge his reaction, careful not to overstep. “But I need to know what I can do to be a better roommate for you.”

“What?” 

“Boundaries, Cater. Times you want me out the apartment. Things I can do to make you feel more comfortable.” 

The look in his eyes. He blinks quickly, then rubs a hand behind his neck. “That uh. That works.” 

You and Cater set up schedules to give both of you time at the apartment alone. Cooking meals every other day. You take M,W,F, he takes TU, TH, S. But leave the pot simmering on the stove – he’ll take his meal in his room, or be on his phone with headphones at the dining table. 

For you: make breakfast together on Sundays. Treat me like I’m a person, not invisible. Let me use the TV screen to watch my favorite show Fridays at 10pm. Alone.

“And Cater,” you murmur, “I’m sorry for that night. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. It’s not your responsibility to act like my ex-roommate gone right.” You start to get up. “I’m sorry for projecting. It wasn’t okay.” 

Cater reaches for your wrist. He looks at you, then darts his gaze away to stare hardly at the light fixtures. “I,” he starts, “It means a lot that you’re still here. After everything.” He releases your wrist, then drapes his arm across his eyes. “Thank you. For everything.” 

[HOW TO: GO BACK TO NORMAL? IS THAT POSSIBLE?]

Cater feels … kinder. 

Is that a thing? He’s the same Cater over text, Magicam DM, Twitter, Tiktok, you name it. Same sense of humor, cheery persona, perfect mood-setter. But at home, he seems to unwind. Slowly. 

Sometimes, you’ll arrive home to Cater cooking dinner, nervously gesturing to the table already set with tableware. “Wanna eat together?” He’s attentive when he listens to your day, hesitantly sharing some details about his own … at least, how his day really was. Not the stuff he puts on Magicam. 

Other nights, he’s the same. Same Cater you’ve known since day one. He twirls you around in the living room, laughing when he sees the smile spread across your face. Rests his head in your lap while your run your fingers through his hair.

Now, he even lets you listen when he plays cello. Says it's easier to express things through music.

You missed it by a long shot, when you called him fake. Because Cater’s not … fake. He’s a lot of things, all at once. Shameless flirt, chronically online, depressed adhd introvert, glamorous influencer, life of the party, intuitive roommate. 

Cater laughs when you tell him this. Tells you to stay tuned for more during the second year of your apartment lease. 

SIGNING OUT: CATER DIAMOND

SHUT DOWN? MONITOR AUTOMATICALLY SLEEPS IN 30 SECONDS.