#too full of emotions to deal with this
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Mr. Rose 🌹 I don’t suppose you’d want to break a rule or two tonight~ ❣️
Aka Weichei needing to vent out his newly realized romantic feelings towards seven after being cut out of their life 😔👊
Ft seven lawless of @infamous-if not knowing what to do with their realization that the song is about them at certain lyrics bc personal hc that seven’s home had rose bushes & sometimes the others/classmates would call him Mr.rose/rose boy
#infamous if#seven lawless#Weichei Zauviir#Weichei#infamous seven#chibi seven is so funny to me 😂#too full of emotions to deal with this#infamous oc
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I'm a fecking edjit.
I keep complaining about this never-ending EDS flare, but I forgot that a mast cell reaction can not only be triggered by pain but also ignite the pain neural pathways and basically become a fecking ouroboros of self-devouring misery.
Pain triggers mast cell degranlation. Mast cell degranulation causes pain.
I'm not just having an EDS flare. I'm still degranulating from last week's migraine episode. I stopped medicating too soon.
Christ on toast.
I hate this disease.
#chronic health tag#trying very hard to be zen over this#because being too emotional will make it worse#but m#I think I know why I kept veering between exhausted unconscious and feeling full of adrenaline#but also the creeping feeling of doom I was dealing with#I thought it was just dread over this week's funeral#but I think I was pre-anaphylacitc this whole week#😱😱😱
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alright,,,,,is this newyears gift,,,,,, i dont no. but maybe it's late enough that i'll be able to forget that i drew this 😁😁😁😁 mttpoly doodles. whoever sees this sees this
#triglycercule kist is real i know someone that will be very happy with this#you dont know how badly i wanted to squeeze a horrorkiller on somewhere focusing on horror's spine#horror sane spin still on my mind. underneath that zipped up jacket is a crop top hand made by horror himself ‼️‼️‼️#auagahhhhhbtheyre all so stupid can you tell i didntbknow what to do for kist (but its nice and i think its cute and a little fitting)#did not finish (or start) the killer analysis so idk anything about him fully still#like this is a tad bit more platonic leaning (something i'd put in my fic) but i still like it#because killer's very aware of everything that will go on and dust has a no murder streak#and something something killer doesnt wanna have to deal with the pain that is dust's emotions#dust knows damn well killer doesnt mean to be nice but he's being nice anyway#and in my eyes dust is nice(ish)est of all of them (and respectful too i think) so he says thank you just because#it takes killer like 3 weeks to figure out how to respond to dust's thank you. i am too tired to figure out what he said in return#NOT EVEN THAT TIRED BUT I GOTTA STAY UP FOR THE SAKE OF STAYING UP‼️‼️‼️‼️ gotta wait until 2am...... then untitled2987601111 awakes#i'm seeing people read horrortale or like mtt stuff and i am very happy ✨✨✨ mtt nation is swell and the three pillars of it are smitten#(for each other)#everyone looks so weirdly good in this but whatever. time to post!#untitled29876011111 gets the full edition 😁😁😁😁😁#tricule art#thankfully its the middle of the night so nobody will see this x3#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#murder time trio poly#horrordust#kist#horrorkiller#mtt poly
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Spoilers for Sinsmas/Sinsmas ramble
So I had Sinsmas paused on my browser to do life stuff as usual, I Will Be Okay was in my head, and I walked back to my computer after life stuff and realized the frame I had it paused on was
D
Do you see what I'm seeing
Their positions aren't just similar, they're reversed. In "I Will Be Okay", Via is on the floor and Stolas's shadow is standing up, looking down on her and reaching a hand to her from above, which she swats away. At the end of Sinsmas, Stolas is kneeling on the floor, with Via looking down at him from above, and her hand resting on Stolas's, which she pulls away from.
AND THE PARALLELS AND REVERSALS DON'T END THERE
From what I could see, it seems like there's only one instance where the parallel doesn't totally apply.
This.
Merry Sinsmas, Helluva Boss fandom :D
:'D
#helluva boss#sinsmas#hb spoilers#rambles#ramble#hi fandom this is my first time in these parts please be nice haha ^^'#i love parallels guys#hb storyboard artists you MASTERMINDS /aff#as someone who at most just looks at the analysis videos and has absorbed the goings-on through internet osmosis#the emotions still hit very hard for this episode#which is also the first one i watched in full as opposed to just going to certain clips to see what the fandom is frothing in the mouth ove#hot take: via has the right to be mad at stolas. but stolas also deserves to (and SHOULD) have a moment to explain to her everything#now stolas in mastermind put himself on the chopping block after confessing which is the most blatant “yes i am ditching my life for an imp#and is very much breaking the promise he made to her in loo loo land the instant it was tested#so yes via has every right to be mad in this regard#but#she's also very deliberately being kept out of the loop with everything going on with her family and it's biting her in the ass#she probably knows her parents hate each other but does she know that stella hires hitmen to kill stolas like on every day ending in y?#does she know that the reason they got together in the first place was just because they needed a precautionary goetia heir?#does she know that their wedding anniversaries are “not divorced” anniversaries in every sense of the word?#does she know that stella never plans on having her fulfill her purpose as a goetia#because she and andre want stolas's power like flies want shit and are going to hog that power for all it's worth?#probably not#stella wouldn't bother telling her about it because she doesn't really care for her much (just the perks of having her on her side)#(i mean c'mon “the egg that came out of me” and “his daughter”?)#and stolas didn't want to tell her the full extent of what he had to go through because he wanted via to have a normal childhood#meaning he wanted to fill the role of the ordinary loving father with no issues and no happy pill abduction whatsoever hahahahaaawhosaidtha#so he didn't want to worry her with his issues when she is still growing and that shit is too much for a little child to process#but with via's eighteenth birthday coming soon and stella and andre being even less subtle about their.... their EVERYTHING#maybe via will begin to get a peek into everything underneath the surface and maybe understand a bit of what stolas had to deal with
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A HEAARRRRT IS A HOUSE FOR LOOVE AND IVE LEARRNNED THAT IT DONT TAKE MUCH TO BREAK A HEAARTT
sorry I just had to get that out lol I love that damn movie. That film, the temptations film (Paul and Cornbread my loves) and the little richard biopic will always have Leon as one of my fav actors idc idcccc also it took me way too long to find out the five heartbeats weren't a real group 🤣
IS A HOUSE ! FOR LOVE !
And I've LEARNED ( ive leaarnnned!!) 🗣‼️‼️
NO NO, DONT SAY SRRY FOR HAVING GOOD TASTE. NEVER BE SRRY FOR HAVING GOOD TASTE !!!!

ALL ur takes are MWAH. Just MWAH.

PAUL AND CORNBREAD LOL!! THE LOVES!. OUR BEAUTIFUL LOVES!!!. UGH. UGH. IM SO OBSESSED WITH THESE MOVIES. BOTH!! OF THESE GROUPS ARE REAL AS LONG AS U BELIEVE!!!
& i know dresser ran to that limo once he heard Eddie begging for his job back (our poor softie gentleman baritone baby..) but i think somebody should be jt's moral compass bcs duck is just 😭 sick of him
Leon deserved SO MANY MORE major movie roles just by being beautiful and bitchy like . His 50 cent movie cameo was so fucking funny.. TY FOR SAYING THIS. GENUINELY. I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE LOVES THESE MOVIES TOO. The characters are hilarious and tragic and I am. Infatuated with them all. They all have their lil moments to solidify them as real or to reflect them being real and it's just. Mwah.

Eddie almost at rock bttm begging for his job back bcs he loves music. He Loves. Music. But he has trauma so much trauma but he's Trying. He's trying so hard and then he opens his coat to reveal he still has their old performance uniform but makes a funny noise:
JT:
#robert townsend just like me fr. obsessed with this diva leon#he was like ok hes playing this prettyboy role Too well.. LITTLE RICHARD MOVIE IS CALLING !!!#leon is such a pretty man. and now he is my cringe oldman wife like idc hes my everything still idc idc#and the 5 heartbeats are REAL!!!!!!!#i just seen them!!!!! dresser was telling me abt how hes an english teacher during the days off bcs he loves it#it's true i never lie#actually i am lying they cant be a real band bcs jt would probably be dead of aids im srry#manslut king partied too hard#speaking of king i love cornbread and paul's friendship so much in the movie#irl theyre friends too bcs paul dumped a bucket of mop water or smthing on cornbreadeddie & they fought#then ran away together to live their singing dreams after eddie stole his brothers car or smthing#but eddie irl started gravitating toward david even while paul was alive#but in the movie they were together forever until paul wasnt and thats just so sweet to me#cornbread is an unbothered cigarette boyboss. i like to think movie cornbread is lowkey just tired of david#but deals with him bcs hes the only other one who hates otis#the movie and the reality differs a lot cus it's otis'd say on things so it's like 2 dif worlds to me#but one remainder is paul is my favorite and he deserved so much better. so much more appreciation#a love i can see is my favorite song of the tempts and pointstop one of my favs. i love his singing voice. it's so energetic but full#of emotion#hes 🩵🩵🩵🩵 PAULLL!!!! ARGHH!! we are the second biggest paul fans aside from cornbread 🩵#pls feel free to tell me ALL ur thoughts on these movies / leon movies in general LOL ive seen like#allmost all of them i could like i could talk so much abt leon#one of my fav actors ever as well !!!! hes a cutiepatootie aaa!!! his obsession with jamaica...#ted asks#ted doodles#PLS. PLS GEEK OUT WITH ME ABT THESE MOVIES MAN. I AM SO STARVED#the temptations#the five heartbeats
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I am liking Jujutsu Kaisen, way more than I imagined I would, but I foresee it will let me down and it's keeping me from enjoying this as much as I could haha
I think the characters and dynamics are well set, and I think many of them have an incredibly good and deep potential, but I would be willing to bet they'll not get a proper development, enough for them to really hit. A well assembled set of gears is not enough to make the movement go, you have to wind the clockwork.
I think Gojo and Megumi have a fascinating and very complex dynamic, but I doubt it will be given the time and care that imo it needs to actually work. And it is going well enough for now! One could see the intimacy between them was deeper than the one Gojo had with, say, Yuji and Nobara ever since the very first few episodes despite the fact Fushiguro too was a first year. But the pieces forming what they have are extremely complex, and it just wouldn't be realistic if it doesn't show, even if in a not showing way, or if it doesn't have consequences or implications.
It's one of those dynamics that shape one's life, the way one regards the world, the way one establishes or not relationships with other people. It's one of those dynamics that could be full of fondness, gratitude, resentment, admiration, trust, and that imply intimacy, the good kind or the bad, even if in just the knowledge of someone who's been a constant through your life. It could, and would, imply a myriad of feelings, and probably in such a mix it could imply contradictory feelings too. Even the nothingness would weight, even the nothingness would be significant and meaningful.
Gojo took Megumi and his sister under his wing, the son of a man who murdered him, because of both selfish and selfless reasons. Megumi looks like Toji. What does Gojo feel about this? How does Gojo deal with this? How does Gojo go about taking care of Megumi? Would he walk him to school? Make him breakfast? Celebrate his birthdays making him blow candles? Did he take him to the zoo? Does the relationship between them feel professional or is it something more? Gojo appreciates his students, but is Megumi to him just another student? When Gojo faces Sukuna in Megumi's body, did he see the kid he raised, or does he just see Sukuna in one of his students' body? Did he have one faint wavering instant? And how does Megumi feel about this? Is he resentful of him? Resentful of the situation? Of the selfishness behind his actions? Does he feel like a pawn? Is he grateful? Does he resent feeling grateful? Would he rather not? Does he love Gojo? Does he feel nothing about him other than what he could feel about a teacher that sort of annoys him but knows he's reliable in his strength? Does he think it unfair, cruel or unfeeling that Gojo is close, closer perhaps, with Yuuji or Yuta, considering their story? When Sukuna slices Gojo in two, does the remnants of Megumi's soul tremble?
And not just Megumi and Gojo. Yuuji and Nanami, Gojo and Nanami, Yuuji and Fushiguro, Nobara and the boys, or Nobara and Maki, Todo and Yuuji or Yuta, Gojo and Yuta, Megumi and his sister. Gojo and Geto, even! If the pieces are well set, the dynamics are intriguing, interesting, and have potential to be deep, but then the characters have like two plot relevant scenes that punch you hard, but little more, it's not nearly enough. Especially not nearly enough for the enormity that is shonen dynamics and situations. And the potential existing at all, and then not delivering, makes it all the more frustrating when you're left with something mediocre that could have been so good.
The development of dynamics through not only a few plot relevant gut wrenching moving scenes, but also the smallness of life, is important. The friend who recommended this to me said that those things were just unnecessary filler, but I disagree. I think there's a big difference between a large amount of anime-only filler episodes whose existence is based on the fact they had run out of manga chapters to animate, and moments of quietness. The low stakes character-driven moments of quietness can be so telling and so insightful, and they are so satisfactory when brought back later in higher stakes situations. My friend teased me there was no scene of Gojo making breakfast to Megumi, that it would be an idiotic idea, but it would be so telling. How he makes breakfast, what they eat, if he tries hard or if it's all mechanised, if they have personal bowls or if they use whatever, if he just buys them some pastry on the way to school, if the way they have breakfast changes through the years, or if he doesn't make them breakfast at all! All that would be very insightful on their dynamic and its evolution. All that would give a glimpse on how they regard each other and why, even in the present. All that could become meaningful in tense situations and high stakes scenes.
These moments also let the plot breath; if a lot is happening all the time, if every character is always experiencing trauma after trauma, the entire story is so emotionally draining that at some point you don't even care all that much. Besides, these nothing moments or low stakes plot arcs, besides deepening and developing dynamics, also let some in-world time pass, which would make the intimacy and bond between characters more believable imo; between Yuuji eating Sukuna's finger and their last confrontation in December how much time has passed? A few months? Am I truly to believe these characters are so everything to each other in only a few months?
Without some smallness, some repetition, some daily life, some low stakes not plot-centric development, the dynamics don't hit, they don't truly feel fleshed out, and dynamics as complex as the ones Megumi and Gojo have, or as supposedly meaningful as the one Megumi has with Yuuji or his sister, should be fleshed out if they're going to exist at all. Otherwise they'd risk making the writing feel awkward and fake. Besides, if the dynamics felt well fleshed out and realistic, they would shape the way the characters interact and act, and how they deal with situations, thus being plot relevant.
The shonen genre has so much happening all the time, the stakes are so high, the dynamics are so rooted in big events and the relationships carry enormous weight and implications. Yet they barely get developed, and it feels so stupid, so plain, the absence of something so important noticeable like a constant void, a shapeless nothingness present in every scene. It makes the characters feel like cardboard figures. Jujutsu Kaisen is already getting a better job than many, but I doubt it will do enough for what I've heard, and I fear I am bound to feel let down, and bound to feel unmoved.
After all, if not enough time and care has been given to develop a dynamic, I am not going to feel pressured by the high stakes; if not enough time and care has been given to develop the dynamic between Megumi and Yuuji, as good potential as it has I am bound to feel little for this last confrontation between Sukuna and Itadori, and his effort in getting Megumi back.
#It's not that I think everything has to be character driven or take a lot of care about dynamics#Death Note for instance works well without it. There's juice in the dynamic between Light and his father and the role of Matsuda there#and it works well with Light's views and their evolution and the whole Kira situation. It isn't much. It doesn't need more#But Death Note doesn't truly drop something as big as Gojo and Megumi to then do barely nothing about it#('But L and Watari' not the same at all. That was deepened in the anime and besides Watari is not one of the main characters)#Or Megumi and his sister. If we see barely nothing of Megumi and his sister other than shiny flashbacks of her#how am I to feel moved by it all beyond superficial emotions? I don't know. It just feels so like cardboard to me#And it annoys me! It annoys me a lot! Because Jujutsu Kaisen has amazing potential! The dynamics and characters could be amazing!#But I don't trust they'll live to their full potential and the potential existing for nothing is ruining this for me xD#Jujutsu Kaisen#Sorry this time I'm tagging it. I want to find this and see if I was right when I'm finished. I think I'll read the manga too#The condescending filler breakfast comment by my friend was ironic considering the Kramer vs. Kramer breakfast scenes exist#Breakfast can be so telling. And besides he loves the Chainsaw Man coffee scene so I don't get why not breakfast#But truly some small daily life moments can tell us a lot about a character that we could recognise later on in high stakes scenes#such as how they deal in tense situations‚ what makes them snap#how they go about dealing with a problem.#Sometimes it could be smaller moments or conversations what makes characters reconsider things‚ not just having Sukuna rip their heart out#In Pandora Hearts the conversation between Elliot and Oz about the book series they love and their favourite characters becomes key#Oz's development and how he regards things‚ his own person‚ and how he deals with situations will be shaped later on by this conversation#till the very end. The entire main character's development is shaped by a 'filler' conversation.It's not filler. It's just not a fight scen#Shonen manga readers find everything filler except for fights which is ironic considering that many fights in shonen feel unnecessary#Breakfast is unnecessary. Just filler. Fighting thirty seven secondary monsters or chapter after chapter of physical training is not. Okay#Things can be small but plot relevant. If it shapes and fleshes out and deepens a character or a relationship it is not filler#And mainly MAINLY for the love of everything good if you're going to make a fucked up or Meaningful Beyond Everything dynamic#give it time and care. Actually write it. Don't give me two panels and one conversation after some life and death situation. It's not enoug#Especially if I'm to believe they are important. Make me believe they actually are#I don't know... This issue with not trusting the development of very well set potential in Jujutsu Kaisen#has not only been keeping me from thoroughly enjoying the series‚ but actively keeping me from watching for weeks#It makes me doubt if I want to spend my time in this at all since after all time is limited and we can but spend it in a handful of things#A pity. I really love some things and I really think Megumi and Gojo could be everything to me haha the Heathcliff/Hareton vibe gets me
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"A Warren. It's a family trait. So are the short tempers, the great cheekbones, the strong wills, and, of course, the powers. All blessings. All signs of where you came from."
Honestly, thinking thoughts about Warren witches and the short tempers. We see this one best through Piper obviously, but I was thinking about the way that this manifests in especially Wyatt out of all the next gen kids.
I feel like Wyatt really represses a lot of his negative emotions. Don't get me wrong, I do generally think that he's a pretty kind, optimistic person in general, but I also interpret him as someone who has this kind of fear at what he's capable of. I've mentioned this before, but the way I went about "depowering" Wyatt, for lack of a better word, to a manageable level is that he locks down most of his powers so that his control is somewhat resigned to not using them because while he's not necessarily afraid of his powers, he's afraid at their potential power. I mean, my Wyatt is currently hovering around 23ish in my next gen stuff, and that is an intense amount of power (and pressure) to put on someone who is still trying to figure out what the fuck they're trying to do right now. However, the issue is that a witch's powers are closely tied to their emotions, so with Wyatt basically locking down his powers, he basically locks down those emotions as well. The trigger for a lot of the particularly destructive powers, aka the ones Wyatt ruthlessly extinguishes in fear of unleashing tend to be rooted in stuff like anger or fear.
So when it comes to Wyatt's temper, I think it's really hard to actually unleash it. One, I think that he's just kind of hard to piss off in general. Chris and Mel have always been the two to start fighting, so he tends to take on a mediator role with them (especially bc the only other next gen kid to stand a chance is Peyton, Phoebe's eldest). So he's pretty good about letting shit roll off his back, because both of his siblings will turn their anger on him if his interference goes poorly. Two is that he's at least. kind of aware of other people's expectations of and for him, which don't really tend to be very human. He's pretty awkward with some of it, because so many people expect this saintlike, godlike figure of the Twice-Blessed and he's a 23 year old working as a library assistant at Magic School trying to figure shit out. (Especially when it comes to the magical politicking bullshit, Wyatt's so earnest and open that he struggles with it. It's an interesting time when the Marks family manages to drag any of the Halliwells to a witch event bc of the layering expectations and personalities for each Warren.) But he's pretty good at the compassion and gentleness that people expect, and he leans into that when he can sense those expectations. Thirdly, and I'll relink this post, Wyatt internalizes the fuck out of shit. He doesn't really blame someone else, even if they've wronged him. Instead, he fully takes on the blame and guilt himself and basically self-flagellates himself about it.
For the most part, he's very difficult to anger. However, when someone actually does manage to piss him off, there are two possibilities. Firstly, he basically unleashes it if he's able to, aka evil beings. Secondly, he hardcore represses it. Not even in a swallow the acid in your throat type of way, but like he ruthlessly shoves it so far down that he can't even taste the burn in his throat anymore type of way. In that case, he just blocks it out and pretends it doesn't exist until he basically believes it. The biggest thing is that when it comes to short tempers, no one really realizes that Wyatt even has one.
Needless to say, and actually the inspiration for this is that repression demons can wreak a whole lot of havoc through Wyatt if they can get to him. It'd be a source of pretty significant power to the demon and damage to those around Wyatt, and the guilt he'd have afterward? Could honestly power another repression demon. An important part of growing as a person and as a witch for him would need to be embracing and dealing with his emotions, all of his emotions, in a healthy manner instead of just repressing them entirely. I feel like that'd make some cool plotlines for growth, especially with the empaths in the family.
#charmed#wyatt halliwell#charmed meta#meta#abi speaks#i was actually originally going to discuss chris as well and typed out the full thing too#but the issue is that i dont really like how i said it and i dont feel like it conveye what i was wanting it to so#into the drafts it goes#but honestly i really like wyatt as a character especially with all of the power at his fingertips#bc i think there's a lot of ways to deal with all that power and i've loved so many of the ways i've seen#but i also really like the character idea of having this almost pathological fear of his power#and how it impacts his emotions espcially in conjuction with his kind of guilt complex and people pleasing tendencies#idk i just love wyatt man someone should give him a hug and a break#its not gonna be me but someone should!
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talking to women:


talking to men: haha yeah messi is the goat totally
#shitpost#men will claim women are too emotional but have you ever said ‚messi is overrated‘ in a room full with (hetero) men?#to be honest its kind of a thrill agitating them on purpose if you can deal with the hissy fit that follows#my ex (situationship) almost left me at a gas station because i said messi is not all that
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I apologize sincerely for the person I am about to become here
#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ABEIAIDJADJWIDJEJDURFHSJEIFHSH#im two pages in and have seen like 5 simon (judt simon!) panels and am already feeling it getting bad like GUYS!!!!!! GUYS!!!!!!!!!#oh my ogddddddddddddd#anyways we are officially on the green lanterns section of the simonjess full readthrough#it has taken me like 2 months and around a hundred new 52 comics to get here#so needless to say im kind of abt to lose it#“but wait swishy havent you already read this book” yeah. in early 2021 as one of my first comics ever. now im coming in with encyclopedic#characterization knowledge and like 600+ more comic issues under my belt#the last 100 or so (i had a few detours + distractions) leading up to this#anyways this is your warning. a code red (green?) is being activated in swishytown usa like take cover if you want to survive#currently dealing with the emotional realization that they have their own comic (despite already knowing that) like guys..... they get to be#the main characters..... 😭😭😭😭😭😭#ive just read WAY too many cameos today bc i wanted to wrap up the new52 for good (with maybe like 4 or 5 missed cameos bc i couldnt take it#anymore)#so yeah. im here. we are rereading.#blah#swishy liveblogs
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the one thing abt being hyper aware of ur flaws is that u can kinda make it a lil bingo game
#I had to ask my gf how I should like. act to my mom who was dealing w my older bro being arrested and my gma not doing too good#I had to ask lol#like. bro I think I’m the Devil and it scares me#and it’s not like I don’t care#I do. just differently I guess#I try and make sure to remind my ma to eat shower etc the things she struggles with#I usually try and … diffuse her negative sed talk even if I agree with it#I may not feel. what I’m supposed to fee but I act on it#I can’t love her but by god i never want to see her cry#both cause it makes me feel awkward and weirdly angry and also because. don’t be sad wtf :(#but like genuinely. if my mom wants a hug. I may not like it but fuck it#if it helps somehow I’ll be the hugger#I can be very useful and service full at times#idk my emotions are weird. I just don’t know how to interact with Her#none of us do in here
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thinking thoughts about pangzi and xiao hua...
#i'm full of emotions but i cannot put them into words#I just think we all need to talk more about how pangzi deals with pain#how he just put his entire life on hold to sit at wu xie's hospital bed for months#how he then did it again for xiaoge#how he probably took better care of them than himself during those days#I'm thinking about how much xiao hua visited wu xie too and how that's probably when their friendship started#really started i mean they really bonded and got to know each other#thinking about xiao hua seeing pangzi neglect himself for wu xie's sake and slowly trying to take him out of there when he can#thinking about xiao hua having to see his best friend go through that again during sha hai and its harder and easier now bc he's hurtingtoo#so many thoughts and feelings
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i completely and absolutely hallucinated the last time i read firestar apparently bc i was ten thousand percent sure russ shot beargstrom at the end. i thought that man was so dead. so imagine my surprise rereading tfe properly rn.
(i was already too confused by whos who irt the bears last time anyway so if anything its making me feel LESS stupid that i just misread a paragraph and fucked up the entire plotline for myself <- it will happen again)
consider this a public acknowledgment that it turns out idk what the hell is happening in these books, soz <3 i will continue to lie by accident and make shit up 🥰
#rangnar rambles#if you ever read a matt ragnars tooth tag about how Mysterious bergstrom is and how little happened with him just know: i forgor#tbf he doesnt do MUCH more than i misremembered. i still dont know what his deal is. but in the intended way now <3#anyways my tragic old man yaoi just got less tragic and tbh i preferred it when i thought they killed eachother /j#turns out. if you read carefully#the plot makes sense.#this is not foolproof (good god it is Not foolproof) alas. it does help to not devour seven books in a weekend#relatedly i read fireworld way too young and had reocurring dreams about it that i then was very confused about on my initial reread#(i was 8 when that thang came out. didnt read the book properly again for 12 years. Bewildered and appauled that lucy was not locked#in a tower and tam was a full knight in real armour </3)#everyone was stuck in a like. roman bath ruin. and also were sometimes statues. could not tell you what i thought was happening#could tell you i was entranced by the weeping angels dw episode and live near roman bath ruins. and have arthurian autism#you know what. embarrasingly i know exactly why i misread this bit of firestar. its bc i was so stressed out (from the books tension.#nothing else in my new adult life i was living) that i was blitzing through the last third#the tension worked on me so well i made up a character death. and then confirmed it for myself bc if davids not safe#why the hell would bergstrom be <- not flawed logic persay. still stupid#and i know this bc it happened AGAIN#i am not immune to the emotional impacts of firestar...#i can look at it and go 'hmm this structure is maybe a bit rushed and idk that it was a good idea to introduce huge changes/characters#in the last 100 pages' but it is also my favourite in the series for those exact reasons. i love a book that makes me sprint and trip on my#face. i love not knowing what the fuck is happening at any point in time#i loved when i thought bergstrom and russ were in love and russ killed him in an act of mercy he didnt know he was committing 😔but ill LIVE#I GUESS. if i MUST#in all ramble posts i hit a point of 'thats too many tags. into the drafts of shame it goes!'. and then keep talking anyway#and eventually hit 'this is absurdly too many tags. PERFECT.' guess where we are
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"why are people constantly making posts doubting the pages in tb/ob???" pretty sure its cos most people are flat out ignoring the possibility of them being fabricated+the contradictions that exist and like. trying to figure out what's real and false from a narrator that is constantly called a liar is engaging with the text
#like the book itself is the guy going 'hi!! the contents of this book appeals directly to you!!!! now let me trick you into a making a deal!#there's the sense of making the audience wanting it to be true and how that impairs their judgement#(like do i want the pages about stan to be true?? yeah duh but i'm still taking it with a grain of a salt)#i can believe that the pages themselves are forgeries but the emotions that are related to the events are true#anyway why is the drunk page full of messy chicken scratch handwriting but there's a perfectly drawn pic that accompanies it#love the parallels of both bill and stan oscillating between being really great liars and absolutely terrible ones#rantings rambles#altho my main take is maybe dont get too swept up by ships in a series about refinding family#i don't think ford's relationships with bill and mcgucket inherently becomes deeper or any more devastating if you add in romantic elements#know that i'm constantly blinded by my own biases but its okay 💖cos i'm a hater
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Cry Baby | 1.4k words (gawd damn), 18+ mdni, smut with a little plot, dacryphilia, daddy kink, meanie!simon, age gap (Simon’s 34, reader!mid-late twenties)
Simon Riley is used to making people cry.
Whether it be from heartbreak, his tall and muscular build in addition to the mask scaring children, from being too blunt, cursing men & women out, making them feel too good when he’s stuffed them full of his cock— he was used to the tears.
But you, you were an anomaly.
Sometimes you’d cry when Simon was being too mean, cry over a good movie— tears would brim to your lashes when he’d kiss you after you two would make up because you were stupid in love with the brute. But sometimes you’d hold it. A trait that Simon hated because it was like he was dealing with a different person.
He knew you were off when the two of you went shopping (for your closet of course) and you didn’t say much except ‘I like whatever you like Si.’ You’d be in and out of conversation, ‘hm?’ and ‘what’d ya say?’ constantly leaving your mouth. He’d already known you we’re past your limit, but you wouldn’t say a word. Usually by the first or second day you’d fess up on your own, voice horse, gripping at his shirt, big brown eyes averting his own because you were too embarrassed. ‘can we- can we talk? just for a bit?’
His cute princess.
But now, a week had passed. He expected to hear those heart aching sobs after he heard you telling off your younger German shepherd, Fish (yes, Fish) to ‘let go’ and ‘it’s mine, Fish!’ He’d found the dog with your favorite worn out sweater, now ripped and tattered, in his mouth as he laid on the couch. Not a peep came from your lips. So the man was forced to push you to talk. Not an issue. He’d done it before.
“Got somethin’ y’wanna say t’me?”
You glanced over at the older man. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed over his chest and looking at you dead on. You shifted on your feet. You hated when he stared, it was like he was reading you like a book and tarring out the pages for good keeping.
You went back to getting the dog food ready for their last meal of the day, “nope.”
Stubborn. Simon found it funny sometimes when you picked up some of his traits, that included that stubbornness that popped out when you were agitated. But you weren’t supposed to be like Daddy, no, you’re supposed to be better. Simon would make you better.
“Don’t be hard headed swee’ art. Y’know better.”
He’d practically pushed you into a corner with his words alone. It wasn’t just intimidation, it was a clear warning. You needed out. So you spoke whatever words were at the forefront of your mind.
“Then I just don’t have anythin to say to you.”
The man was dumbfounded, head tilting to the side in awe. He didn’t expect that answer of all things and you casually went to go feed the dogs like you hadn’t said anything. A deep chuckle fills the silent walls of the kitchen.
Cute little thing. Loveable thing. His babygirl.
You didn’t wanna cry? Didn’t wanna talk? Fine.
Simon would fuck it out of you.
“Wait- hmph- w-wait Daddy I don’t-“
“Y’talk now? Thaaa’s a shocker.”
“No- I- s’tooooo much Daddy! I don’t like it like-nnnggh this!”
Simon rolled his eyes, of course you didn’t like it. It was when you felt undeniable, inescapable pleasure. He’d have you in a headlock, all of his weight completely pressed against you, rolling his hips as his girth stretched out your sweet pink walls. The room was completely filled with your moans and the smacking of his balls hitting your ass as he bottomed out with each stroke.
How many times had you cum already?
It didn’t fucking matter if tears weren’t coming out yet. And he wasn’t just aiming for those regular small ‘feel good’ tears, he needed those belligerent sobs that made your throat hurt. The blonde liked to call it ‘regulating emotions.’ When you couldn’t do it yourself of course Daddy would help. What else was he there for?
Your eyes were at the back of your skull, long manicured nails clawing at his arm and trying to get ahold of yourself. You felt delirious and you’d only cum twice but Simon kept pushing you like he wanted something out of you. The truth, you shook your head at your own thoughts. No way, you were fine. This was— god, the bastard, the ghost himself was dragging himself in and out of you, in and out, harsh and slow. Just so you could hear the squelching of your sopping cunt and get you completely embarrassed and moaning at the sound.
“Si- let’s- a break— mmmgghhh- we- oh fuck daddy- break? annngh p-please?” You whined out.
“ ‘Nd why would y’need a break when you’ve been a lazy fuckin bitch this whole time?”
A military man who could lie in an instant.
He hadn’t told you to do a single thing tonight but he needed a reaction out of you. He scuffed, pulling his strawberry red dick out of you with a loud ‘pop’ and turning you on your side. Throwing one of your legs over his shoulder and straddling your other thigh. He slapped his aching tip on your drenched hole, there you were clenching over nothing.
“Didn’t wanna talk this whole time but now ya got shit to say.” Simon slammed every fucking inch of him inside of your oh-so tight cunt making him throw his head back. “The fuckin nerve of ya.”
“I- wait-“
“-Thought ya were my good girl, but you’re just a stupid slut for daddy’s cock.”
A hiccup.
He looked down at your pretty face and- oh. there it was. There it fuckin was. That sickeningly adorable trembling pout on your two tone lips, real tears spilling out of your eye ducts and meeting the pillow as he repeatedly slammed into your gushing walls. Was it sick for him to crave it? Yes. But the big guy couldn’t help himself, he loved seeing pretty girls cry for him. Even better when he had a good reason to get it out of you. You felt the knots in your stomach building, even worse as Simon pressed a hand on your stomach as his dick poked out. A string of grumbled curses leaving his mouth at the feel of it.
You gasped, pushing at his abdomen, “Daddy nooo- it’s really too much! I- I-”
“—Nuh-uh. Stop fightin it and give it t’me. Give. It. To. Me.”
Your orgasm was harshly yanked out of you, screaming at the top of your lungs— thank fuck you two lived in the middle of the woods. You’d finally let that week old sob out of your throat, fat salty tears spilling out at everything because you really did feel everything at the moment. All the sadness was now washing over you like a wave mixed along with the high of cumming. An insane combination.
“Therrrre you go pup. Creaming all over me, all while bein so. damn. pretty. Want my cum baby girl? Hmm? Shit baby, you wanna feel full with Daddy?”
You couldn’t even find your words, just pulling at his hips to feel him deeper inside you. And it was so warm, so- loving when he came inside you, Simon making sure you took every drop till you couldn’t anymore. He cupped your face in his big hands, wiping away the tears that continued to fall. So fuckin cute. He’d sit you up, still on his cock of course, leaning back with his propped up arms and peering down at you.
“Gonna tell me what’s wrong or it’s still not for your Daddy t’hear?”
You sniffed, big brown puppy dog eyes looking up at the man full of scars.
“E-everyone-“ you let out a shaky breath, “everyone’s so damn mean Si.”
And you went on and on about your completely shitty week, from your job, to missing the train right when you needed it to Fish ripping apart your favorite fucking sweater. And Simon was there, attentive but silent, listening to every word uttered. Wiping away the stray tears with a thumb and pinching your cheek. His silly girl, adorable princess. Held it in for nothing, as if he wouldn’t be there to comfort you. Silly, silly girl. He���d fix that too, but for now—
“Want me t’take care of ya? Hm lovie?” His lips met yours, fitting the two like a missing puzzle piece. You wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing the blonde man closer and pressing yourself against him. You didn’t say a word. You didn’t have to.
He snickered against your lips, “Course ya do, baby, course ya fuckin do.”
a/n: kinda on Simon kick. Also the gaggery of my last post about him. Thank you guys so much. You probably won’t read this again but reading while listening to Cry Baby by SZA or Janis Joplin>>>
most recent masterlist
#tojisteddy presents#cod smut#cod x reader#ghost cod#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x reader#simon riley smut#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#ghost riley#ghost x reader#ghost x y/n#black reader#x black reader#ghost call of duty#tf 141 x reader#meanie!simon#ghost x you#simon riley x y/n#it wasn’t supposed to be this long istg but I love plot#older!bf
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So, anyway, I say as though we are mid-conversation, and you're not just being invited into this conversation mid-thought. One of my editors phoned me today to check in with a file I'd sent over. (<3)
The conversation can be surmised as, "This feels like something you would write, but it's juuuust off enough I'm phoning to make sure this is an intentional stylistic choice you have made. Also, are you concussed/have you been taken over by the Borg because ummm."
They explained that certain sentences were very fractured and abrupt, which is not my style at all, and I was like, huh, weird... And then we went through some examples, and you know that meme going around, the "he would not fucking say that" meme?
Yeah. That's what I experienced except with myself because I would not fucking say that. Why would I break up a sentence like that? Why would I make them so short? It reads like bullet points. Wtf.
Anyway. Turns out Grammarly and Pro-Writing-Aid were having an AI war in my manuscript files, and the "suggestions" are no longer just suggestions because the AI was ignoring my "decline" every time it made a silly suggestion. (This may have been a conflict between the different software. I don't know.)
It is, to put it bluntly, a total butchery of my style and writing voice. My editor is doing surgery, removing all the unnecessary full stops and stitching my sentences back together to give them back their flow. Meanwhile, I'm over here feeling like Don Corleone, gesturing at my manuscript like:
ID: a gif of Don Corleone from the Godfather emoting despair as he says, "Look how they massacred my boy."
Fearing that it wasn't just this one manuscript, I've spent the whole night going through everything I've worked on recently, and yep. Yeeeep. Any file where I've not had the editing software turned off is a shit show. It's fine; it's all salvageable if annoying to deal with. But the reason I come to you now, on the day of my daughter's wedding, is to share this absolute gem of a fuck up with you all.
This is a sentence from a Batman fic I've been tinkering with to keep the brain weasels happy. This is what it is supposed to read as:
"It was quite the feat, considering Gotham was mostly made up of smog and tear gas."
This is what the AI changed it to:
"It was quite the feat. Considering Gotham was mostly made up. Of tear gas. And Smaug."
Absolute non-sensical sentence structure aside, SMAUG. FUCKING SMAUG. What was the AI doing? Apart from trying to write a Batman x Hobbit crossover??? Is this what happens when you force Grammarly to ignore the words "Batman Muppet threesome?"
Did I make it sentient??? Is it finally rebelling? Was Brucie Wayne being Miss Piggy and Kermit's side piece too much???? What have I wrought?
Anyway. Double-check your work. The grammar software is getting sillier every day.
#autocorrect writes the plot#I uninstalled both from my work account#the enshittification of this type of software through the integration of AI has made them untenable to use#not even for the lulz
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Going from: this guy is definitely into me
To: no, that is rude to assume after all I don't want to be that guy who can't believe that friendship between men and women can be just friendship and instead believes that the man definitely wants something from the woman
Anyway the guy confessed...
So that guy was definitely into me...
#yeah im kinda having a panic attack about this#whis is super weird#because i do like him#so im fine with going on dates#i mean we already are going on dates#its just more official now#but its just going too fast for me#and it's really overwhelming#but like its nice#and im full body shaking because i cannot deal with these emotions#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
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